#NEWSFLASH! YOU ALSO DONT HAVE EYES IN THE BACK OF YOUR HEAD

[bonefall]

I’m rereading Po3 and despite its flaws I really enjoyed the introduction to the three. Jaykit isn’t mentioned to be blind in the first few chapters and instead they chose to show how much MORE capable he is compared to his littermates; until at the end of chapter 3, he brings up his blindness on his own. It makes forcing him to be a medicine cat SO much more frustrating because it really feels like they’re setting him up to be a warrior and choose his own fate (note i haven’t finished the reread this is just my first impression)

I like how you seem to take that path in BB regardless! It makes his arc so much more enjoyable

His arc in canon is super frustrating because he's such an independent character who clearly wants to make his own decisions in life, but then he just gets shoved into the medcat den. I LIKE that he ultimately goes there and that he enjoys it; but it was still really fucked up that they stripped away his autonomy in the process.

Re: they are not real, they are writing choices. Taking away the choices a disabled character can make over their own life, forcing them into a celibate nun role, and then going "awwwww dont worry see? he likes it! This was the best thing for him :)" was fucked up.

And imo it didn't have to be that way! You wouldn't have to go the FULL route I did with big changes, he could just be more involved in the descision to stop being a warrior apprentice and it would be fine. Minor change that would make a world of difference.

I do also have to interject to say though... blindness should really not be an extremely severe impairment for a ThunderClan cat.

I'm dead serious.

Whiskers are built-in sensors that tell you the exact position of everything within several inches of your head, ears swerve to pick up sound, and the jacobson's organ provides a sense of smell so keen that I have an entire Clanmew expansion draft because I needed to make WORDS describing the power of this sense that humans do not have. I cannot stress enough how delicate their other senses are, felines do not rely on their sight like primates do

ThunderClan lives in a mixed-oak woodland, where sight is already often obscured by foliage, objects are close together (for whiskers to feel), and nearly every movement makes noise against the leaf litter. RiverClan and (moor-running) WindClan cats would have a harder time with this disability than Thunder or Shadow.

Cat sight SUCKS to begin with. It sucks BADDD. They don't have color vision, they're significantly nearsighted, and they can't track up-and-down movements well. WC doesn't write realistic cats (more like small fuzzy people really) and I also work with more humanesque eyesight, but the only thing Jay should really lose is an ability to rapidly track a small animal swerving fast. Blind cats are often still excellent hunters in spite of that!

So it's an extra big waste that they railroaded him into a position he didn't choose, saying he couldn't be a warrior. This is the perfect disability to write, if you want to explore how ableism can impact the characters in this society who ARE legitimately still capable of nearly full independence, but still need to find accommodations for what they can't do.

In the same arc they're doing the dumb Cinder Reincarnation Plotline, no less!! Where SHE is also feeling like she has no choice over her "destiny," and gets a conflict over a potentially disabling injury

"Oh nooo if cinderpaw breaks her leg she wont be a warrior!"

"What the f-- Im Jaypaw and im reporting live from the scene where a Category 1 Idiot Moment is taking place. Woman breaks leg, suddenly everyone believes she is a horse, more at 11."

One of these days I should really make "herb guides" just covering how various sensory disabilities impact the lives of Clan cats and some tips for writing them as warriors, especially between Clans. Stuff you wouldn't usually consider, like how much noise deaf cats tend to make, how RiverClan would get a ton of sinus infections and lose their sense of smell, being blind in Sky vs Thunder, etc.

#I once saw someone say offhandedly 'well what if someone snuck up on jay from behind and attacked him. No whiskers there' #NEWSFLASH! YOU ALSO DONT HAVE EYES IN THE BACK OF YOUR HEAD #He doesn't have short whiskers either they're normally sized #Something like 4 - 5 inches on a cat like him. About double the size of the head foward and sideways #Once you're talking about close combat like the cats usually do there's no way that you can stay back far enough to avoid them #I want to rewrite owl and jay's fight or make a rematch where jay realizes owl is being a coward #Hanging just out of his range and jabbing at him #But once he realizes it's just a coward's strategy it clicks that the counter is to be aggressive #And not let his opponent out of his 'range' #Also give him a neat little scene where they're grappling next to Black's dam project where it's super muddy #And Jay is like 'YOU WANT TO PLAY DIRTY? LETS GET FILTHY' and dunks Owl's face down into the mud #Because Jay can fight without his sight but Owl doesn't know how to continue while there's stinging gunk in his eyes and nose #I like thinking about what I'm going to do for BB!Jay's matches because his fighting style is really fun to write #1. Be aggressive and proactive 2. Don't let them out of range 3. SCARE THEM #From the Mud Match he learns that the best way to end a fight quickly is to absolutely terrify them #Because they're usually not expecting the fight to be difficult nor are they expecting to feel like theyre in danger #So if you surprise them it breaks their willpower real fast #And as he gains a reputation for brutality he faces less opponents until he's practically known as the Cleric Without Mercy #Bone babble

[greennya]

— In which dancing is an art and you, er, can't dance. Characters | Childe x GN!Reader (Modern Setting) Note | Hi!! This is absolutely my first time posting a drabble in tumblr, i have no idea what im doing but 😘 forgive the short circuited attempt at a sort of bf childe bec its 3 am & im braindead and love him with all my 🍑

You are... Actually, Childe has no idea what you're doing. Sweeping the floor with your legs, maybe? Waving a broom across the hall like a seagull at its wits end fluttering in a pissed off motion, fighting a losing war against invincible dust? Oh... No. Absolutely Not. You could spin a pirouette, breakdance into hip-hop, rip your head out in despair, and no one would guess you're in the midst of dancing. It's ridiculous. It's hair shivering unreal.

Childe, standing a few feet away from you, states in a monotonous, but an octave higher than usual mocking voice of his: "The way you sang just now gave me the chills!"

You ignore him. You were dancing (preparing for a theater performance you were not aware involved dancing because, 'dont worry, you act so well, leave the rest to us!'). Not singing. Fuck it, you turn back and glare. Hard. Stomping your feet in an act of annoyance at the ginger who newsflash #1: has zero business with the theater club, but still comes in everyday because newsflash #2: he's an absolute menace.

(The few members left in the club doing what theater kids do, also turn to him, with an amused expression: 'he's back at it again' mutters one.)

But Childe is drop dead endeared at the glare you shot his way. Could not escape the beat of his heart when you turn away and flick your arms aggressively in a supposedly graceful pose.... like a... fan... and fall. Childe Could not escape the way he giggles when you trip, legs criss-crossing awkwardly, before you hit the floor face first with– OUCH– a loud, resounding thud. Head banged to mars. You wince. You both wince. That hurt like a bitch.

"Are you just going to stand there and laugh." You sit up, hands immediately raised to rub your forehead in an attempt to soothe the pain of falling face flat on the ground, a glare still plastered across your face. "Or, are you going to shut up and help me up?"

Childe strides to your form in the floor, hunched over and a defeated expression casted as his eyes scan your bothered face. He pauses. Until another wave of giggles burst past his lips. Tears are now welling up your eyes, because What. The. Fuck. is he laughing at?

"I swear to-" Childe interrupts the ensuing cacophony of insults with a light kiss to your forehead. Your lips are now closed in bewilderment, head turned to look at the mirror, the clock, at everything, but Childe, because What. The. Fuck. A kiss to your forehead? Unprovoked?

"Stop thinking about weird things again," he sighs, the kind of brotherly sighs he gives when he's concerned. The same sigh he does when you burn your hand trying to cook ramen or the time you lost his watch. Childe cups your face with his two hands as he exhales, "An ugly bruise for an equally-" Glare.

"Just kidding. Let's get you patched up before your performance."

And another kiss.

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact imagines #genshin headcanons #childe x reader #childe x you #childe imagines #childe headcanons #genshin fluff #genshin childe #genshin tartaglia x reader #gi ajax #childe #ajax #tartaglia #genshin x you #genshin au #childe fluff

[hoes4dylanobrien]

Mitch *again cuz I'm in love w him*, bodyguard, angst + fluff, New York, female in early twenties

OKK more than 500 but it is what it is

Love the bodyguard!mitch idea, ty so much anon!! hopefully u like

You tried not to look at him, but at some point during the gentle and at times violent rocking motions of the subway ride from uptown to lower Manhattan your gaze drifted over to his hulking figure. He stood a few seats down from you, leaned against the interior wall somewhat obscured by a group of teenagers laughing amongst themselves and trading phones. He pretended to find great interest in one of the ads printed across the opposite wall, giving you the perfect angle of his strong facial features, only softened by his sloping, slightly upturned nose, and wispy dark locks. His almond-shaped brown eyes shifted to you just as you turned away, but you knew he had caught you staring.

"You don't have to follow me every step of the way, you know," you said after you two had gotten off at Canal street, headed to Chinatown. He'd been a few steps behind you, but you halted suddenly, letting him catch up. His jaw tensed. "You think I enjoy being a glorified babysitter? Newsflash, I don't. But the pay is good. If I knew I'd be dealing with such a spoiled princess I would've thought twice."

"Then go," you blurted angrily, mostly out of hurt. "Give me a few hours to myself, I promise not to tell Daddy. You'll still earn your money and we'll both get a much needed break. How about that?"

He opened and shut his mouth, swallowing any initial objection. He looked to be considering your offer. "Fine," he muttered. "I'll be waiting back at Spring stre-"

"No need. I can find my way back home, thanks," you snapped. And with that, you turned on your heel, focusing more on getting away than on where you were going; all the while, feeling a burning gaze on your retreating back.

Not even fifteen minutes later you were starting to regret your decision. You'd planned to go to a restaurant recommended to you by a friend, and after that, your favorite hidden gem of a bookstore. Unfortunately, your phone had died, and you didn't remember the way. It also didnt help that you were, admittedly, directionally challenged. And usually, Mitch remembered where to go for the two of you, so you hadn't ever bothered to memorize the directions (you would never admit he was right, though.) After getting turned around enough times, you realized you were far beyond the main road and didn't recognize where you were in the slightest, or how to get back. It had also, in great cosmic justice, began to rain hard.

“Great, just great!”

As you began to give up hope, a car idled at a slow pace behind you. At first you ignored it, but when it became clear it was following you, you started to get nervous and walk at a faster pace. 

The driver’s window lowered. “Y/n, get in the car,” a familiar low tone ordered. You stilled, but continued walking. 

“Come on, y/n, don’t be stupid,” Mitch growled, impatient. “It’s freezing and I know you dont know where the hell you’re going. Just do us both a favor and get in the damn car!” 

“No!” You yelled, feeling a sudden burst of anger returning even as a slight chill wracked your body. 

“Why the hell not?” 

“Because. I’m a spoiled princess, remember? I don’t listen.” 

“Y/n,” he paused, and you knew without looking back that he was gazing upward as if channeling patience from a higher power, as he often did around you. “I’m sorry OK? I shouldn’t have said those things to you. You don’t deserve it.” 

You slowed your pace, eventually stopping. “Then why’d you say it?”

“You know why, y/n. I get in moods and sometimes... sometimes take it out on other people.” 

“So I’m not spoiled and annoying?” 

He let out a dry laugh. “No, you’re not. Well, not most of the time, anyway,” he teased, making you turn to him with a raised brow. 

“Everyone’s a little annoying, including me. I’m usually worse.” 

“No, you’re not. You’re fun to be around, most of the time,” you teased back. “You make me laugh and you’re actually honest with me,” you said seriously, “I’ve never had that in a friend before.” It was true. Most of your friends were either superficial or after your parents money. 

Mitch watched you with an undecipherable expression on his face. “Get in the car, y/n,” he repeated, still in an authoritative tone but softer. “Please?” 

You did as he asked this time, sitting up front instead of in the backseat as you normally would have. He pulled onto the road. “Where are we going?” You asked as you saw the sign and its accompanying exit for ‘uptown’ pass by. “Thought we’d try that new place,” Mitch replied, citing the one you endeavored to go to earlier. “And then to the bookstore,” you added in question. 

He answered with a rare smile.  

#Mitch Rapp x reader #americanassassin #drabble #requested #angst #fluff #dylanobrien

[i8jisoo]

𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐘 𝐊𝐈𝐃𝐒 ⇉ skz with pregnant!reader 

hyunjin x reader | part four of dad!skz

↬ genre; fluff

↬ warnings; pregnancy, lots of cursing (i have a streak), birth, n kkami bein a meanie

↬ notes; ok this might be my fav in the series | 1.5k wc

u and hyunjin actually were broken up when u found out about the pregnancy

u waited (stalled fuck off) until five months since u really didnt know what to do with the news

u kinda feel like ur insane, playing your ex-boyfriends music constantly and watching interviews of him but it kept u company and gave u a reminder that u still needed to tell him

u got this rly cute popped out bump, just rly kinda like those movies but u know its gonna get bigger and grow to have stretch marks

one day ur just sitting on the sofa of your apartment n the next thing u know ur door is being opened and hyunjin is barging in

ofc ur in a sports bras and a pair of basketball shorts cause they r comfortable and shirts r overrated

ur there with set out marshmallows, graham crackers, and chocolate, as well as peppermint sticks on the side just eating them together

ur in the middle of eating a smore u had put together

u swallow ur smore slowly, sucking on ur fingertips n just staring at him

“oh my fucking god- and it’s true?” 

ur honestly so confused until u remember u dont have on a shirt n ur bump is showing

ur standing up in a millisecond, hyunjin getting more upset by the second just looking at u

“why— how? how could you just not tell me?”

baby boy has those angry tears and the strained voice hes just so upset and the guilt is setting in for u

“i’m five and a half months.” 

fuck hormones cause next thing u know ur crying and u cant do anything to make it stop

u guys really can’t be mad at each-other, ur relationship was filled with nothing but kindness and it ended only because u two felt it was going no where

ofc u two argued about it and in the end hyunjin was the one who walked out

“we can try again. you can move back in right? we can stay together and put back the pieces.”

u agreed n by the next morning he was there to help u pack ur things up n take them back to his place

he ends up seeing the box of baby stuff, with unopened bottle packages and sonograms, as well as a disc that was labelled as your 3D ultrasound

u find him just sitting there, staring at the black and white sonogram with tears freely falling down his cheeks

he doesn't even notice u next to him until ur thumb swipes the tear away from his cheek

u two just smile at each-other, his arm wrapping around u n pulling u in to his side

“that’s our baby?” he asks, not removing his eyes from the little white blob that barely was the size of a jaw breaker n u just whispered, “yea, it is.”

ur relationship doesn’t exactly get back into what it was at first,,

ur both nervous and cautious around each other

at first he insists he can just sleep on the couch so u can take his bed but u insist u both can sleep together

hyunjin doesn’t mean to but he somehow always winds up with his arm around u n ur bump every morning

he will talk to the bump n tell them how they r gonna have the best mommy n daddy 🥺

“did u know ur mommy is one of my favorite people to be with? i know ur gonna hear the story one day of how we became parents but i have always loved her, even when we weren’t together i loved your mommy. i hope one day you will love someone as much as i love your mommy, i hope you get your mommy’s personality bub.”

ur fake sleeping wbk but u dont move so u can let him talk

around eight months u two are way more comfortable n are getting closer

he lets u borrow his clothes because u used to do that even when u weren’t pregnant and he figured they were more comfortable & better looking than ur maternity outfits 😣

he rly goes the whole nine yards, buying anything u can think of for the baby n he’ll sometimes wake u up from ur sleep (if he’s rly excited) just so he can show u what he bought

hyunjin is in love with u and kkami cuddling together

also when ur due date got closer u both def went out for walks with kkami or played in the dog park with kkami

(u couldn’t really be as active as hyunjin but it was fine with u just watching)

something within hyunjin changes n he just gets so shy n flustered around u ^.^

he’s crushing so hard on u and u can guess he is but then again u two were just living together for the pregnancy

it’s probably three in the morning n hyunjin had just came home

ofc u were crying

a rly cute dog ad was playing with a baby in it as well :(

u explain n hiccup while doing so

hes so s o f t at this moment

he presses a soft kiss to ur lips n ur like wow thats um—

he doesn’t even care how shocked u r this man goes back in for more kisses

“i want you, i wanna be a real family. i wanna one day marry you, have more babies or get other dogs, that’s all i’ve ever wanted since the day we met.”

enywayz u two r dating,, a g a i n

spooning half of the time during ur last few weeks of pregnancy, but the boys come over frequently n for some reason jeongin is always bringing presents?? its cute but u guys RLY didn’t need anymore toys for the baby

u guys r just cuddling n he’s got one hand on ur bump before ur like

“ow,, fuck that hurt.”

“hey don’t swear around the baby!”

u just suppose it’s a hard kick since the baby had been active a lot recently n the pains had been occurring often

kkami is very cuddly today n he’s giving u kisses

hyunjin lowkey jealous cause kkami doesn’t ever give him kisses like that  ⸜( ⌓̈ )⸝

yall ever seen the thing where dogs know pregnant people the best n they can like SENSE something goin on??

well kkami was on it 

baby kkami is sniffing u n just restless in ur lap n its a lil weird cause kkami is ALWAYS sleeping or sitting still cause kkami has turned as lazy as u n hyunjin

u have this feeling but instead u just tell hyunjin u gotta pee :P

newsflash: u didnt n as soon as u got up, boom, theres ur water breaking and running down ur leg

“it feels gross.”

ur literally whining about ur pants while a baby is coming out of ur ... hooha 😳 n hyunjin is freaking out

he’s rushing around the rooms n making sure everything is in the bag and nothing gets left behind

last thing on his mind is changing ur clothes

though he does, putting u in his baggy sweatshirt and a pair of his shorts

hes freaking out lets be honest the thought of u giving birth is fuckin scary

hyunjin is so out of it and spaced out while ur cool n talking normally with pauses everytime theres a contraction

“aish, why are you so worried? i’m the one that should be worried!!”

ur not cool after an u hit the four hours in labor mark

u do not want to be t o u c h e d

touching u is off limits ur so sweaty n ur body feels like its crumbling u cannot deal with someone holding ur hand or holding u

hyunjin just sits there

hes kinda in a different realm while he stares at the clock on the wall

hes so ready to meet the baby but apparently ur body was exactly 4 centimetres not ready :(

hes just trying to distract u by talking with the boys n his other friends, all of the face timing to talk to the parents to be 🥺

yall r wrapping up a call with jeongin when u have the built up pressure feeling again

he doesn’t even explain to jeongin hes so quickly to hang up n ask u whats wrong

“i— it feels like i have to push.”

he’s already pressing the pretty lil white button on ur bed for the nurses n doctors

they confirm that u indeed r ready to push and that the baby is in position

hyunjin trying to take a peek WHAT A WEIRDO

yall hearing ur baby has a head full of hair and u just give hyunjin this look

like WTF no wonder why u had so much heartburn its because of ur fuckin rapunzel baby daddy

here comes the cries, loud n u just heard the quietest sob from beside u which was hyunjin

“it’s a baby boy, congrats!!”

his lil puppy baby boy 🥺

he had a lil pout like his daddy n his brown locks on top of his head

it was kinda creepy how similar they looked

anyways u dont care ur lil boy is p e r f e c t and nobody could dare tell yall different

u would disagree anyways because thats ur lil pouty baby boy n hes so cute 🥺

“we got a pretty good break-up story right? one for the books.”

he’s got baby boy in his arms bundled up but that doesn’t stop u from smacking his arm before kissing him quickly

“yea, we do.”

©️ maysdiors 2020 :: all rights reserved. do not repost my work on tumblr or other platforms.

#stray kids #skz #pregnant!reader #hyunjin #hyunjin angst #hyunjin fluff #hyunjin x reader #mom!reader #dad!skz #dad!stray kids #bangchan x reader #minho x reader #changbin x reader #felix lee x reader #seungmin x reader #jeongin x reader #stray kids angst #stray kids scenarios #stray kids fluff #skz angst #skz fluff #skz scenarios #i.n x reader #stray kids au #skz au #stray kids series #skz series #jisung x reader #dad!hyunjin #hyunjin x pregnant!reader

[hela-avenger]

poison & wine- epilogue

Author: hela-avenger

Word Count: 805

Summary: Prince Loki of Asgard is in need of a date to take back home. That’s where you come in with a task of your own to make the whole trip with an insufferable prince worth it. Too bad that things don’t always go as planned and you end up giving more than you can take. Fake-Dating AU.

A/N: I did say that wedding bells were ringing... just not the ones you were expecting. Also ending this on a high note! Though thinking about it... I’m not ready to give this story up so keep an eye out on some bonus scenes. I have a lot planned for the two! 

poison & wine masterlist

Your palms are sweating and panic is spreading all over your body. You wring your hands trying to ignore the chatter coming from inside the venue. You took a deep breath as you realized you would have to walk down the aisle in front of your close friends in a few minutes.

“You look beautiful, Y/N,” Tony whispers as he finally reaches your side. “You might actually outshine me.” 

You laugh lightly, your nerves easing slightly at his arrival.

“Doubt it,” you remark. “You always look good in a suit.” 

“You sure flatter me,” Tony grins as he fixes his suit coat. “Are you ready?” 

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” you answer nervously as you press down on your dress to get rid of the wrinkles. You look up at Tony who oddly enough is as calm as can be. “Don’t let me fall on my face out there.” 

“I won’t,” Tony chuckles as he offers his arm for you to take. 

With another calming deep breath, you slip your arm into his and grip it tightly. Your stomach was still coiling in anxiety while Tony remained cool and collected.  

“I hate you for choosing me for this,” you mutter. “Why did it have to be me?” 

“Well, newsflash, I’m an orphan and I’m not walking down this aisle alone,” Tony answers. “Besides we’re family and you’re old enough to be my great grandmother so why not walk me down the aisle?”

“I guess you’ve got a point,” you sigh out. “Especially as I remember Howard making a pass at me once or twice. Could have easily almost been your mother if I had taken it up on it. Your dad and me fonduing...”

Tony gags at hearing this, “God, why did you put that awful visual in my head?” 

“For bringing up my age, you jerk,” you nudge him playfully. “I’m quite sensitive about it.”

“Sure you are,” Tony scoffs. 

You allow yourself to laugh and relax right next to him. No longer nervous for what laid ahead of you. The quartet starts to play the wedding ballad and you look over at Tony who finally shows a bit of real emotion. 

He fidgets with his bowtie and just the small act tells you all you need to know. As confident as Tony always displayed to be, it was nice to know that something could scare him ever so slightly. 

It was good for him. Pepper was really good for him. 

“It’s showtime,” Tony mutters. 

He smirks at you before the curtains are pulled open to reveal the petal scattered aisle. You both take a step forward and become encompassed by the glittering lights and cascading flower arrangements. 

You make your way down the aisle smiling up at your friends and family. Bucky, Steve, Thor, Natasha and Wanda… even Peter Parker, who you had yet to meet, was at his edge of his seat watching. And right at the front, waiting next to your reserved seat was Loki who’s adoring sight remained solely on you. 

You reach the altar and turn to Tony who presses a kiss on your cheek before whispering a quick thank you. You let him go and take your seat waiting for Pepper to make an appearance. 

“What are you smiling about, pet?” Loki whispers in your ear.  

You ignore the pet name because as much as you fussed about it, you actually secretly enjoyed it. You smile up at Loki and press a quick kiss on his lips. 

“I love weddings,” you whisper to him. “I love happy endings.” 

“Hmm,” Loki hums. 

Your focus strays to Pepper who is gracefully and elegantly walking down the aisle. She’s beautiful in the white gown that fits her like a glove. 

“There’s more to it,” Loki whispers in your ear as the ceremony begins. “I can see it in that extra glimmer in your eye.” 

Loki knew you too well and you find yourself watching him instead of the bride and groom. 

“This is all new to me,” you answer as you lean into him. “Friends, family, love… I’ve got everything I was looking for and more and all because of you.” 

He smiles down at you and presses a soft kiss on your temple. 

“You know I’ve been thinking,” you tell him quietly. “Of my next adventure.” 

Loki’s silent but his body tells you all you need to know as his hand grows tense on your shoulder.

“It’s something I’ve never done before and I’m excited to finally take it because you’ll be by my side for all of it.” 

Loki relaxes into you once more and smiles down at you. 

“Where are you planning to go?” he finally asks curious to know the answer.

“I’m planning to stay,” you tell him. “Make this place my home with you.”

poison & wine tag: @damalseer @just-the-hiddles@jessiejunebug@nonsensicalobsessions @smollest-soybean@assassinoftheworld@readerbandit @doyoufeelikeayounggod@strangemcuvlogs @ha-tep @i-dont-know-eiither @gene-king@day-dreaming-fox @bn-studies @is-it-madness @devilbat@victor-criss-bish @skinny-macncheese @musicconversedance@baby-bunnyxn @fandoms-allovertheplace @marvelloonie@jinxjinxednova @queenmuahaha@accio-boys@eternalqueensworld @umlvk @roger-the-reindeer@punkrockhufflefluff @your-local-abyss@horsesandwolvesaremyanimals​ @rogerrhqpsody@imsad420@pandacookieowo @justnerdystuffs @hanoi15​ @oneprolificqueen​ @nikki-who-likes-coffee​ @fandomrelative​ @nikki419ninja​ @onedollarduck​ @help-i-need-a-social-life​​ @ephemeraljade​ @catsladen @amwolowicz​ @captainmarvelnerd​ @thegirlbeyondtheuniverse​ @ddaeing​ @leftperfectionmoon​

Loki Tag: @unicorniorosacomefrutillas@thesilentbluesparrow@oddly-drawn-muse @josiehosiedaninja@hp-hogwartsexpress@sadwaywardkid @wolf-lover74@sizzlingbarbarianglitter @sigyn-njorddottir @aoirohi​ @defunctcherrybomb​ @horsesandwolvesaremyanimals​

All Works Tag: @jmb959@astudyoftimeywimeystuff@hellocookiecutter @steve-rogers-personal-hell @buckybarnesyard@not-zari-tak @strangersstranger@thefridgeismybestie​ @moonlightprime​ @badhollandfluff​

#loki x reader #loki x ofc #loki x you #loki x oc #prince loki x reader #prince loki x ofc #prince loki x you #prince loki x oc #fake dating au #thor au #marvel au #avengers au #poison & wine epilogue #loki #Loki Laufeyson #loki odinson #prince loki #Prince Loki of Asgard #loki series #loki fanfic #loki fic #reader-insert #you fic #reader fic #fluff #angst #happy ending

[kazhewbrekker]

vilify me - chapter 4

this is the longest chapter to date! and probably the last one for a little while as im settling into college and dont have as much time. fear not though! chapter 5 is in the works and im committed to finishing this monster of a multific. without further ado!

(AO3 Link) (Chapter 1) (Chapter 2) (Chapter 3)

Kenji seemed unimpressed as he walked into the hanger. I wasn’t expecting a huge reaction, but I thought he’d be at least a little bit excited over the prospect I was offering. I gave him a wink as he walked closer and patted the seat on the motorcycle I was leaned against, lovingly. It was a good thing I hadn’t run my plan past Warner, he would’ve been jealous.

“Do you know how to ride a motorcycle?” I asked innocently.

Definitely not impressed. “Never seemed like a necessary skill set.”

I shrugged. “Feel like learning?”

Kenji crossed his arms over his chest as I passed a helmet to him. He didn’t take it from me, which was to be expected. There was no chance he was going to go easy on me. I mean this was literally me trying to appeal to him enough to get him to trust me. Or maybe, just maybe, it was me trying to find something to relieve myself of the utter boredom that had befallen me since I came to Sector 45. Which, I had to remind myself, wasn’t Warner’s fault.

He was busy. I was also usually busy, that’s just how things were with us. And now, with this mission he’d put me on, I would find a new way to be busy.

“Come on, it’ll be fun.”

Kenji took the helmet begrudgingly, “Where are we going?”

“Does it matter? Let me answer that, no.”

I climbed onto the seat, settling my feet in their place on either side of the bike. Kenji hesitated again, the black helmet now smugly fastened around his head, trying to figure out where he was supposed to sit on the motorcycle with me. I grabbed his wrist, between us was the layer of his military coat and the riding gloves I had fashioned myself with, as I pulled him on behind me.

“I’m not going to kill you.”

“I didn’t say you would, Princess.” Kenji shifted uncomfortably and created a space between the two of us. I had the urge to roll my eyes. Like that would stop me. If I wanted him dead he would be by now. “How come you don’t wear a helmet?” Kenji asked.

I revved the bike. “Let’s hope you don’t find out.”

-

“Put your foot on the break,” Warner instructed. “No, hold it down.”

“Sorry,” I shot him a glare and pressed down all my weight on the car’s brake. The glare broke apart in an instance. I was too excited to be mad.

Finally, after being told over and over that he would teach me, Warner was going to show me how to drive. I’d wanted to for years, ever since he had when he was eight. Mum and Dad would never let me behind the wheel of a car, at least not until I was older no doubt, they didn’t even trust Emmaline in one yet. But I would learn how to drive first, because Anderson had left home earlier that morning and Leila wouldn’t mind if we borrowed the car. Or totalled it.

“Okay,” I said, “okay, what do I do next?”

“Shift into drive.”

I blinked down at the controls. “What am I on right now?”

“Reverse.”

I managed to shift the car into drive recalling what I’d seen in films, “You don’t have to look so nervous, we’re indestructible, remember?”

Warner sighed exasperatedly, hands tightening on the seatbelt. “Keep your eyes on the road.” I grinned and checked my mirrors, slowly pulling my foot off the brake and towards the gas. “And I wish you’d stop saying that.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because my biggest fear is that one day it’ll stop being true.”

I frowned. I took it slow, but driving on a street that no one was ever going to come down again gave me the whole road to practice. I jumped between brake and gas over and over, inching forward and trying to get the hang of it. Every once and awhile, Warner pointed something out to me, but he was as patient as he was with teaching me anything. It was easy, easier than I thought it would have been.

“I’m not going to lose my powers, Aaron.”

“No,” he agreed, “but have you considered your parents’ new project.”

I sucked in a breath and the car huffed in response. Warner didn’t looked shocked as I hit the brakes to look over at him. He looked worried. “Project Canary. Emma’s losing her mind over it.” I said.

“I know, I heard.”

I raised an eyebrow, “Don’t tell me she’s bothering you about it too.”

“When she can’t call you she calls me, I’ve told you this before.” He tucked his chin and looked down at the watch affixed to his wrist. “Emmaline is just worried about you, love.”

“Of course she is, because if they can get through me it means she’s next. I don’t blame her.”

“Ella.”

“It’s true!” I shrugged, “You know it, I know it. I reckon if Canary succeeds, then I’ll be the only one affected. Well, and you, probably.”

“Probably? You can’t be serious.”

I sighed dramatically, shifting gears and turning us around back towards the house. I knew he was staring at me, I could feel it burning under my skin. If he was offended by the truth that was his problem. Not mine.

“If something happened to you,” I wasn’t watching his face, but I heard the way his breath caught in his throat. A chill settled around me as I waited for him to continue. “I would be devastated. You know that, don’t you?”

“Yes, sure, of course.” I snipped back.

“Ella, I’m serious.”

Too much, too heavy. I nodded in an attempt to get him to drop it. Warner was my best friend, but God if he didn’t make everything out to be life-and-death. Though, technically, this situation could very well end in my untimely death. It didn’t matter. He was serious all right, far too serious. And I didn’t want to think about the immediate future, not like he did.

-

I loved motorcycles. More than cars, planes, especially boats. Nothing else could get me in contact with the same level of speed as the motorcycle could. I wondered a lot if it was anything similar to drugs, Mum and Dad would have me caged again if I experimented with anything that could mess with my brain or my body. So, death defying activities was all I had.

But I had to drive carefully, Kenji’s arms wrapped around me so tightly I had to focus on the wind whipping my hair to not break down at the feeling of being barred.

I hadn’t been lying about the helmet comment, as far as Kenji knew I was talented in hand-to-hand combat and could most likely kill someone if they just so happened to brush my skin. He had no way of knowing that a motorcycle crash was much more likely to hurt whatever I crashed into then myself. When I’d first embraced my daredevil tendencies, Warner had insisted that I wore protective garments, riding jackets and enforced padding. We hadn’t known the full extent of how much damage I could sustain. We found out though, eventually.

I came to a stop in a place where the road evened out and the buildings had grown scarce. It was strange, Southern California had always been overflowing with populace and new houses that the large expanse of nothingness was almost unnerving. I pushed those thoughts from my head and removed Kenji’s hands from my waist.

He attempted to climb down with me, but I steadied him on the bike with a smile and said, “I’m teaching you how to ride remember?”

“I never said I wanted to learn how.”

“Yes, but you also never said you didn’t.” I placed my hand on the handlebar, about to launch into a speel about what each part on the bike did, until I noticed he was staring at me strangely. “What?”

“I’m curious. What brought this on?”

“Me teaching you how to ride a motorcycle? I was bored, wanted to ride my bike, and you’re supposed to follow me everywhere I go.” I paused, sardonic in nature. “Thus, here we are.”

Kenji looked back at me as if he didn’t believe me, and I had to give him credit, he was a lot more intuitive than he had appeared at first glance. It wasn’t as if I was lying. I was currently trying to use enough of the truth that he’d have eventually just have to believe that my intentions were pure. It’s not as if I had given him any reason to believe otherwise. Beside the fact that I work for a fear mongering government that treats its citizens even worse than the ground they walk on.

I might have to rethink my plan of action.

“Okay,” I huffed. “Clutch is here, gear shift is down here, throttle, and break. You’re ready to go.”

“Wait, hold on a second, that’s the big lesson? You point at all the controls, pat me on the back and say ‘Good luck.’ You’re the worst teacher in the history of ever.”

“Jesus, that’s a little harsh.”

“Never have kids.” He said with a straight face, “You’d try to teach them how to ride a bike and then just throw them straight into oncoming traffic.”

I groaned, “Newsflash you egg, traffic isn’t as issue anymore. The 405 is dead and I’d be a great mum.”

Kenji didn’t move as he held his humorless expression. As the silence dragged and we continued to just stare at one another, something cracked. I wasn’t sure if I was the first to snort, but giggles erupted from my lips until I was crumpled on the ground holding my stomach from laughter. Kenji wasn’t much better, he had to use to the motorcycle to hold himself upright as he practically hacked up a lung.

I was wiping tears out of the corners of my eyes when Kenji finally said, “All right, that was hilarious. But I’m still not riding this death trap with a ten second long instructional period.”

“Just,” my voice was still strangled with restrained giggles, “trust me here.”

“You don’t make that easy.”

But he listened and settled on the bike like before, keeping one boot on the ground to stabilize himself. I corrected his form and I watched as his eyes darted nervously around the open field. I couldn’t say I completely understood his nerves, I’d never had to really worry about bodily harm before. With that, I had the sudden realization that this was a terrible plan, and if it failed it would really suck to have to drive home with a dead body. Or, even worse, have to walk.

“Ready?” I asked honestly.

He didn’t in the least bit look ready. At least he knew how to brake.

Kenji gave a curt nod and I stepped away from the bike, giving him room to start the engine again and prepare for take off. The motorcycle gave a growl that I felt in my chest, that made the hair on my arms stand up, and as Kenji gave me one more glance before staring at the opened, empty road before him. I gave a silent prayer to a God I don’t believe in.

The motorcycle lurched forward, shakily and slow it made its way down the street. A couple of times I worried if it was going so slow that the machine might tip over, but at every chance Kenji shifted his weight to keep it steady. It wasn’t until he turned around and came back towards me that I saw he had a genuine smile on his face.

I rolled my eyes, he was going barely more than 20 miles per hour.

“All right. It’s not a vespa.”

He hit the brakes as he neared me and the sudden stop made him ram his stomach into the center console. Kenji took a shaky breath but his voice was only a little winded, “What’s a vespa?”

“Oh my God.”

-

Our bedroom was cold. It was the middle of July and from the window I could see the moon against the cloudless sky. It was the only thing lighting the room. For once I was happy that snow hadn’t come so early this year, because if it had then I wouldn’t be able to see the moon at all. I clung tightly to my blanket knowing that it was my only protector, that would stop the dark corners of the room from getting any closer to the foot of my bed.

I had been working very hard to not let it bother me, to sleep through the night without interruptions or nightmares. If Emmaline could do it then so could I. But it seemed like the harder I pushed away the negative thoughts, the stronger they came back with a vengeance. And the more they stole my breath straight from my lungs. I knew what panic was now though, I’d felt it before. It kept rising and rising like the temperature on a thermometer. Until my head started to feel dizzy and my chest began caving in.

What was it that Warner always said? Try to breathe.

Easier said than done.

At this point I should’ve been used to any form of sensory deprivation. Nothing to see, or hear, only the cold walls of the room that remind you that you’re not dead. Or asleep. Or somewhere in the middle. Mr. Anderson would turn down the oxygen in the room if I tried to fall asleep. It would go on for hours. But it always ended, sometimes I was worried it wouldn’t.

Little bird, little bird in a gilded cage. With spikes on the bars. Little bird with no escape.

“Ella,” my sister’s voice whispered across the bedroom. “Ella, go to sleep.”

I froze. My rampant neverending thoughts must have woken her up, or at the very least kept her from falling asleep. I wasn’t quite sure what Emmaline could hear and what she couldn’t. But if I hated being in my own head, then surely my sister would despise it just as much. “Sorry, Emma.”

She sighed, rolled over. I felt my face burn with shame. “No worries, just…“ Her soft words disappeared into the cloud of dark that blanketed over her half of our bedroom. We’d been sharing a room since I was born. At least that’s what I had been told. But now the sea of carpet between the two of our beds felt wider and all the more terrifying under the gaze of the moon. I had to steel myself. I couldn’t be weak, I couldn’t whimper at the idea of closing my eyes, what would Mum say?

“Ella. Come here.”

I looked over to Emmaline’s moving sheets. I could barely make out her motions across the room. But I didn’t give it a second thought. I bundled the blankets around my body, grateful for the socks that covered my feet, and I tiptoed over the lie to Emmaline’s side of the room. Where pink met purple.

Emmaline was waiting patiently with arms outstretched. She pulled me and my blankets up onto the sheets with her, and that’s when I noticed the long sleeves pajamas and the gloves. How had she been wearing gloves to bed? Emmaline pulled my head to her shoulder and hugged me tightly. I wished I could see her expression. I wished I could read her thoughts for a change. My panic spiked once more.

“Calm down,” Emmaline yawned. “Give it a rest.”

“S-Sorry.”

It was dangerous to be this close to my sister. It was dangerous to be around anyone, ever. This was my curse. My burden. Mum called it a gift, she said it made me special. But I had to work harder, so I could be just like my sister. Mum would kill me if anything happened to Emmaline. She’d actually kill me.

“Shhh, go to sleep.”

“I-I…”

My sister’s finger combed through my hair. I closed my eyes against her pillow.

“Sleep, Ella. You can worry about things in the morning.”

She was right. I knew somewhere deep down that she was, but a part of me refused to accept it. It seemed like no matter what I did, my worries would follow me into my dreams too. I focused on Emmaline’s breath, her heartbeat, the slight brush of my hair from my forehead. It made me crave the blurry memories of climbing into bed with Mum and Dad, falling asleep in the safety they provided. Now it didn’t feel safe to be near their wing of the house, or even near them.

“I don’t want nightmares.” I whispered back to her.

Emmaline paused. If I paid close enough attention I could feel the edges of her power just on the cusp of my consciousness. If I dared to push against it all I would feel would be numb. “Okay, I’ll make you a deal.”

I blinked my eyes opened, “A deal?”

“Sure,” she pinched my shoulder. “If you try to sleep, I promise I’ll chase all the bad dreams away.”

It was far too dark in the room for me to see the look on her face. I couldn’t even tell from her tone if she was messing with me. I was a bit too old to believe that anyone could chase away my bad dreams, especially when they had been formed out of reality. But then again, Emmaline had power over the mind. Even now I could feel her rooting herself in my thoughts, sharing them with me, but blocking me from following that path back into her own head. It was a one way trip, or so she said.

If anyone could get rid of the nightmares, actually get rid of them, it would be Emmaline.

“All right.” I said.

She nodded once into the dark, “Close your eyes, then.”

I did as she asked. A moment passed, but in the moment the darkness of my eyelids didn’t feel constraining, like I was being pressed against the walls of a prison. It felt almost calm. Like a purring cat under my bare fingers, enjoying the feeling of my touch. It felt like I was back in North America, tucked into familiar sheets, pressed against the side of someone else. But only for a moment.

And then I opened my eyes and Emmaline was gone.

I sat up, wrapped in pink sheets, and stared across the room to the bed I had fallen asleep in. Purple sheets as pristine as if they had never been slept in at all. I should have figured. That kind of comfort and safety could only last a night.

-

Kenji wasn’t confident enough to drive us back, and I wasn’t entirely confident he could either. So, I drove the motorcycle to the compound, stopping myself from taking any unnecessary risks, least Kenji never go on another adventure with me again.

As much as I loathed to admit it, my plan was almost certainly backfiring. I was having fun just making friends with someone new. Socializing wasn’t exactly a skill I excelled in and the fact that Kenji almost didn’t seem nervous to get on the back of the bike with me after spending the afternoon in my company made me feel better than I had in awhile. There was a churning afterthought though, that if he wasn’t who he said he was, if Warner was right; then Kenji would die by my hand. There was no way around it.

Or so I told myself as we parked in the hanger.

I shot a scathing look at the soldier who carted off my bike, knowing they would take care of it, but trying to retain the menacing aura I had accumulated before I started letting myself go soft. Maybe Warner was right and I really should go back to training in the mornings.

It was only a second later as I turned to speak to Kenji that I felt a thrum of energy go through my body. The sensation stilled me to my core, even my lungs refused to take in oxygen as my brain scrambled for concrete meaning. I knew this feeling and I knew it well. My body restarted.

“Kishimoto,” my voice was harsh, “you are dismissed.”

“But--”

“Now, soldier.” There was a bite at the end of my words that I hadn’t ever used in conversation with him before. He registered this and, probably with some sense of betrayal, turned on his heel and marched away from the hanger. I hoped he was fast enough.

When my ability had first manifested, there were a lot of things going through my five year old head. And still it wasn’t anywhere near as complicated as Emmaline’s own mind. My sister, being a year older than me, took it upon herself to compare us in everything. Even before our powers. Shockingly, she wasn’t so far off when it came to this over everything else. Our abilities were simultaneously complete opposites and so similar that they could not be recreated in any test subjects. Though it wasn’t from lack of trying.

I could feel the energy of living things. Around me were spools of thread that tied back to every living creature, I could feel their hearts pumping, I could sense the electricity beneath their skin. By extension, Emmaline was connected to life through their minds. She had her own network that she organized and colorcoded, more orderly than my own, efficient. But our largest connector remained each other, and it was at that moment that I felt my sister’s ability wrap itself around me. As if it wanted me to know she was here, listening in to the private confines of my head. So, I did what any little sister would do.

I immediately thought back to the last time Warner’s lips were on mine, the heat of our breath as I undid the buttons of his shirt. I let my eyes close as the memories washed over me, leaving a singing fever in their wake.

Emmaline withdrew faster than a bat out of hell.

“That was rude.”

I heard her before I saw her. My eyes blinked opened tentatively as I watched my sister walked down the stairs into the hanger. Soldiers stopped, if only for a moment, to stare and wonder. Emmaline looked a lot like our mother. Her hair was two shades darker than mine and always laid flat down her back, her face was older, wiser. And she wore that red lipstick that Mum liked.

It was hard not to think of that woman when I looked at her. “What, like looking through someone’s head? Tell me, is that real rude?”

She rolled her eyes, “You’ve made your point.”

“Have I?”

When she stepped down from the last stair a smile appeared on her face, out of nowhere. And then she held her arms open towards me. I noticed the sleeves of her coat, the collar of her shirt that covered her neck, the gloves that seemed to permanently cling to her hands. This wasn’t a last minute decision, my sister had come to Sector 45 with the full intent to see me.

I tried to walk calmly towards her. I’m pretty sure I failed.

Emmaline hugged me. She squeezed my shoulders and rocked us from side to side like a dance. It wasn’t appropriate, to be so excited to see each other, if our mother was there she would have chastised us greatly. But Mummy dearest wasn’t there, and we could do whatever the hell we wanted.

“This is a surprise,” I said as we pulled away.

“I told you I’d be visiting shortly.”

“Actually, you asked if you could visit and I never got back to you.”

Emmaline huffed as if I’d greatly inconvenienced her, “Doesn’t matter. It’s not as if you’re busy, hiding out from our parents and what have you.”

“They know where I am.” My eyes narrowed on her as a mischievous smile inched its way onto her face. “Mum does know where I am, right Emma?”

“Oh, she could guess, but I’m afraid she’s preoccupied right now.”

I held my breath. No wonder I’d been left alone for almost a month. Emmaline was covering for me and with her powers no less. It was starting to get scary how easily she could deceive the people that more or less ran the world.

“And what was your excuse for flying out here?”

Emmaline glanced at me, her lips upturned in a smug expression that made her lipstick seem darker. The color of blood. “I’m allowed holidays just like you.”

There was a palpable moment of tension between us that shattered with a clap of my sister’s hands. She turned on her heel and made her way back towards the stairs. I followed, just as she had expected me to do, and I watched as her hair flew behind her like a black veil. Nothing was different about Emmaline from the last time I had seen her, but I knew my sister better than that. She wasn’t a consistent person in the least.

She had plans. Always.

“Why didn’t you introduce me to your friend?”

I met her eyes as she glanced back at me, “Didn’t think you’d be interested.”

Emmaline hummed to herself for a moment before we entered the main hallway. She let me move to take the lead as I headed for the nearest elevator. It was just around dinner time now, the sun had already begun it’s decline over the ocean. Well, it would’ve anyways, if it wasn’t for the clouds hiding it. And I was starved from messing around in God knows where for hours.

“Y’know, sis,” she spoke finally after the elevator doors closed. “You can’t exactly lie to me.”

I gritted my teeth.

“And I’m not just saying that because I can read your mind. What, can’t trust me now? Especially when you’ve decided on making friends with someone you think is working for the rebellion.”

“Hush up,” I hissed.

The elevator was still steadily moving up towards the higher floors. That left us with little time left to speak with the comfort of not being recorded. Once we were out in the open, anyone could overhear us and report back to Anderson, Kenji would be as good as dead.

“I don’t know for sure.”

Emmaline scoffed.

“I don’t. Doesn’t matter, I just don’t want you rooting around in his head while I’m trying to do my job. Because if he is with the rebels, then maybe he can lead me to that base.”

“The base Anderson’s on your ass about.”

The doors open, “That’s the one.”

We walked in silence towards the dining room. There was something strange and familiar about wandering these halls with my sister beside me. Maybe it reminded me of when we were children, I scrunched my nose. Emmaline and I hadn’t wandered the halls together when we were little. We barely interacted outside of bedtimes and Sunday breakfasts. I watched her out of the corner of my eye and found her looking back at me. Her expression was blank.

Before I even opened the door to the dining room, Emmaline groaned from beside me. I felt a tinge of a smile make its way onto my lips before I waltzed inside, emulating the grace of a person with the ball in their side of the court. If she was going to be confrontational or then I simply wouldn’t let it get to me, Emmaline could whine all we wanted but this was still Warner’s sector.

A telepath and an empath walk into a bar… I’d hate to hear the punchline.

Emmaline hesitated by the door as I swept inside to take my usual seat beside him. He barely spared a glance at my sister, before turning to me, his side of the table devoid of paperwork for the first time in weeks. I narrowed my eyes, had he heard of her arrival before I had? Most likely.

I leaned close enough to press my lips to his cheek as he whispered, “A nice surprise.” I had to stifle the laugh the built up in my throat.

As much as I liked to taunt my sister, I also found myself increasingly more demure in her presenance. My cheeks reddened and I dug my teeth into my bottom lip as I pulled away from Warner and into my own space. I caught Emmaline’s eye as she, now quiet for the first time since I’d seen her, sat down carefully beside us. I braced myself for whatever she was reading, whatever she could feel.

“Don’t stop on my account.”

My nerves blew out of my lungs in an instant. Warner brought a water glass to his mouth rather enthusiastically, he was hiding a grin. I could rest easy knowing that this dinner wasn’t going to be a normal Emma-Aaron staredown, where I was placed in the middle and forced to choose which one I would have to calm down first. Frankly, I found it unfair that they put me in such a position at all.

Emmaline and I had been rivals since the beginning on account of our abilites and the expectations that came with them. It made our relationship difficult to say the least, stressful and even distant. We rekindled what we could salvage the older we got, but it was hard to put the pressures our mother had forced down our throats away. Warner and Emmaline’s rivalry was different. And I couldn’t even be sure when it started. It almost felt like I had woken up one day to the both of them being at each other’s throats with no explanation other than, “Because I hate him, Ella.” on my sister’s lips.

I had my assumptions. But I certainly wasn’t going to tell them that.

“C’mon now,” Emmaline spoke first. “What have you two been up to, spare no details.”

“Is that why you came here? To catch up?” Warner raised an eyebrow and I felt his hand find mine underneath the table.

Emmaline amused herself my looking through the assortment of bottles on the table, in Sector 45 there never seemed to be a shortage of alcohol, before picking one that suited her tastes. “Why else would I be here?” She said as if there was a very obvious, very necessary reason for her to be here. Her eyes met his with something I could only describe as contempt, “To make sure you haven’t defiled my little sister?”

I felt more than saw Warner’s reaction to her words. It was like the walls turned ruby red, the air became almost stifling, but neither of the other occupants seemed to notice. No, Emmaline was reveling in my love’s discomfort. There was a gnawing dread in my stomach that colorfully plated breads weren’t going to fix. I squeezed Warner’s hand.

“Behave,” I said.

Emmaline shrugged, “I haven’t done anything that warrants punishment, Els. Even if punishment is your specialty.”

“For someone so gifted in speech, you’d think you would have learned when to shut up.”

“Bite me.” She laughed and buttered a roll.

The heat had dulled, but only slightly, and a dull blade was worse than a sharp one. I turned to Warner, who was still fixing my sister with a death stare. I raised his hand to my cheek. If I kept his attention on me, then hopefully they wouldn’t do something I would end up regretting.

“I rode my motorcycle today.”

“You did?” Distraction successful, he answered curiously.

“I missed it. We should do it more often, it wasn’t the same without you.” The room smelled like lilac. “It’s getting pretty cold out, as well, so if you want to go riding--”

“A metal deathtrap.”

“--We’ll have to go soon.” I gritted my teeth again and caught Emmaline’s gaze out of the corner of my eye. “You never have anything helpful to add, do you?”

Emmaline was watching our exchange, eyes shimmering with something that I couldn’t place. But Warner could. I could read his movements better than his facial expressions, as he tilted his body in front of me. The lilac that had misted the air had turned frigid, but hadn’t disappeared. Not yet anyways. Emmaline placed her chin on the palm of her hand.

“Still trying to find a way to break your neck?”

How dare she pretend to be innocent. “Why? Decided to give it a go afterall?” I answered.

There was an ebb and flow to the frequencies that surrounded the table. Emmaline, ever the bringer of chaos, was upsetting my natural balance. I knew she would, hypothetically, and I could handle it. Hypothetically. But what I couldn’t handle was my sister trying to infuriate the both of us at the same time. Though that was what she did best wasn’t it?

“Tell us why you’re really here, Emmaline.” Warner’s voice was serious.

I stiffened as my sister’s lazy smile faded. “You already know, don’t you?”

“Tell her, then.”

“Or you will. I’m familiar with the threat, thank you.” She rolled her eyes and the childish glee she’d been playing with from the moment she’d hugged me, disappeared completely. If I could feel emotions like Warner, I’d suspect any cheerfulness in my sister had blown away, almost like it never existed. “Project Canary.”

My blood froze in my veins.

“They’ve completed it?”

Emmaline appraised Warner’s question, “They believe they have.”

“And that’s all that really matters.” His fingers tightened their grip on my hand and I squeezed back with just as much force. I couldn't feel the rest of my body, I was grasping for anything, and had settled on my power. It covered me like a blanket, extended itself to Warner and wrapped him in it as well. It was protecting us, it would protect us. But not from that, not if they had succeeded.

“Don’t be dramatic,” Emmaline chasitied. “As if I would let them create something powerful enough to neutralize Ella. I’m not an idiot.” That was a pointed statement if I ever heard one.

“What were you doing in Asia?” How could Warner be so calm?

“Testing it, obviously.”

He leaned back, “And?”

Emmaline was silent for a long time. Long enough that I began to count. I hated counting, more than anything. As much as I loved mathematics and sciences, the theory of numbers and how they could organize the entire universe, I despised counting with a passion. Because once I started, it was almost impossible to stop. To pull myself out of that scared little corner of my head that I only fell into against my own will.

1, 2, 3, 4…

Warner’s pointer finger tapped on the inside of my wrist.

“I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t serious.” Emmaline continued, “I could have waited for my sister to come home to see her again, but it couldn’t wait. So, here I am.”

“Here you are.”

It was a message, it was a message and I couldn’t decipher it, but I would keep trying. For him. I focused on the feeling. The soft brushes of the pads of his fingers as they typed out a message to me and only me, heavily coded, even in his mind. Emmaline couldn’t read this, only I could. If I just--

“The Unnaturals they found in the last raid have been wiped out. Overseen by Supreme Commander Ibrahim and Mummy dearest, of course. It wasn’t a diplomatic mission, I lied, Nazeera and I watched the precessions.” Warner could no doubt see what Emmaline was recalling in her mind, “Their frequencies, their signatures, just vanished. Like they were dead.”

“But they weren’t dead, not when they disappeared.”

Emmaline nodded, “It was like a blackhole. I’ve never felt anything so… wrong.”

“I can understand that at least.” Warner went quiet again, and deep inside my mind where reality couldn’t touch me I felt all the more trapped losing that tether. I shut my eyes tightly. Without the sound of their voices, the darkness, the frequencies were consuming the edges of the room, and I could feel them sting across my skin. The hand that Warner held was the only place that cooled, like soaked in water, safe. “Love, you need to come back to us now.”

I was weak. How could I be falling apart so easily? Here the two of them were speaking calmly and I was falling apart at the dinner table. If Anderson saw me, if our mother heard--

27, 28, 29, 30…

“Thinking like that isn’t going to get you anywhere, sis.”

Warner’s free hand came up to tuck my hair behind my ear and slid down to cup the side of my face. It was like balm on a sunburn. If I could just move, then I could disappear into the circle of his arms where I would be safe, and loved, and

“Wake up, sweetheart.”

I gasped and the ticking of a clock. The numbers. The counting stopped.

“I’m sorry.” I whispered to the both of them, my eyes trained on the tablecloth. Embarrassment, shame, weakness burned in my gut.

Warner stroked my temple, his eyes never left my face but Emmaline turned away and I had to restrain my own wince. My mind was not a serene place to be in at this moment, that was for damn sure. Maybe if she learned to stay out of my head then she wouldn’t read things she couldn’t stomach.

“But that wouldn’t be very fun, would it?” She mused.

Warner pursed his lips and answered her, gaze still trained on me. “I think that’s enough for tonight. Actually, I think that’s enough entirely. You passed on your information, Emmaline, go home.”

“Gladly,” she responded, “if my sister comes with me.”

“No,”

The noise was raw and strained, I wasn’t sure where it came from until I saw my sister’s eyes turn to me. There was a mix of pity and desperation in them that made me feel all the more sick to my stomach. Maybe she believed the best way to protect me was by us staying together, but if her information had solidified anything it was that I couldn’t return home. Not anytime soon anyway.

“Emma, I can’t.”

“And why not?” Emmaline stood to her full height. She towered over the table, but I could feel her unease rolling off her frequencies in waves. It had been awhile since I had fallen apart in front of her. Probably almost a decade.

“Mum, she plans to test it on me.” To my surprise, my lips didn’t quiver. “It will work.”

“And I’ll stop her.”

I shook my head. She didn’t understand, she couldn’t understand what losing my powers even for a moment would mean for me. The vulnerability that I hadn’t felt since I was a child. How stripping me of something so intertwined with my entire being would be alike to killing me. The fact that the Reestablishment could very well kill me using such an object.

I watched the warring emotions on my sister’s face as she considered my thoughts. I wished that I could read her own and understand why she would be so insistent that I return home with her. It didn’t work. Emmaline turned away from me, and away from the table, and walked back towards the door. We hadn’t even gotten the chance to eat anything. I hadn’t noticed until now.

“Els,” Emmaline called back to me. “I’ll see you in the morning. For training, yeah?”

She paused. I bit my lip, “Of course.”

And with that she nodded and left. The door slamming behind her with more force than necessary and a weight settling in my gut that I could be sure would disappear overnight. I glanced to Warner, his eyes still heavy on my face, and I found something in them that perfectly reflected how I felt. How this whole situation felt.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and buried my face into the collar of his jacket. And I cried.

#shatter me #unravel me #ignite me #restore me #defy me #shatter me trilogy #shatter me fanfiction #warnette #aaron warner #juliette ferrars #ella sommers #kenji kishimoto #emmaline sommers #tahereh mafi #vilify me #this was posted a couple weeks ago on ao3 and im just now getting around to posting it on tumblr #go figure #really proud of this chapter though #there's a lot more plot #I hope you guys enjoy #comment and reblog if you can #when people interact with my work it makes me cry #ive outlined the next chapter so hopefully it wont take longer than a month #tbh I need to outline the rest of the fic #its bothering me that I don't know WHERE im going #I have general idea #but #you'll all have to wait and see

[borderlandscast]

btb: leave no vault unturned (epilogue) preview, part four

He’s cautious, at first. Ravs understands his need to initially keep it under wraps, letting Rythian feel out his comfort zone at his own pace. He’s easier to please than Rythian initially assumed. His physical affection doubles; Ravs is unbearably doting, needing to touch Rythian in some way every time they meet, brushing his hand over his, gracing him with a quick hug or delivering a cheek kiss.

Certain people observe that he’s cheerier than he’d previously been, as with Rythian. Rythian takes his mealtimes with Ravs in the mess hall instead of in his own room. It’s a good excuse to stretch his legs and boost Junior’s contact with people aside from himself. Occasionally, Ravs will reserve the kitchen from Honeydew and cook Rythian a special meal.

Rythian forgets that Ravs is a phenomenal cook when he’s not busy. It’s all homemade (barring his use of raw ingredients, measured by ‘eye’ sprinklings of condiments and extra bits). If Rythian hadn’t been watching Ravs make it all, he’d thought that Ravs had magicked it into existence from a secret pocket dimension.

A few weeks after these private dinners, Ravs actually tries to teach him how to cook. Rythian almost declines the lessons, then realises that it’s Ravs’ way of wanting to spend time with him without first exhausting all their other dating options on The Blackrock.

Well, there’s always sex (which Ravs would definitely be up for), Rythian would rather wait until he’s good and ready. He’d like his second time with Ravs to be better than the first; the first happened when he was in a bad mental place, when the guilt to sate his own loneliness proved too much for him to bear in the aftermath. Ravs still clearly looks upon it without bitterness of any kind; it’s clearly a precious memory of his. Once upon a time, Rythian wanted it gone from Ravs’ head. This time, he wants to do it right.

He tries broaching the subject with his favourite listener: Teep. Teep’s gone for long periods of time, so the best way to reach them is through ECHO. He’d also not rather endure the humiliation of having to ask them in person and their reaction.

> hey teep, i got kind of a personal question to ask but you can answer whenever you’re awake or free

> it’s embarrassing but i’m tired of hitting my head against a wall and i

> shit i hit enter too fast

> go ahead and shoot

> oh, you’re awake?

> ya im between planets right now so i got loads of free time

> oh okay

> how did you...ask ravs?

> youre gonna have to be more specific than that bc you can ask a lot of things and depending on what you ask you may either want to bury yourself or him

> fine, how did you preposition ravs

> step one you mentally prepare yourself

> step two you make sure you have clothes on bc very important so you dont look desperate

> step three you go and find ravs which is easier than you think just look for the signs pointing to the frigate drunkard

> step four ask if hes dtf and if he says yes then you take off your clothes and get dirty with the buff bara man

> step five profit

> all you have to do is ask???

> yes rythian asking is is a part of communication

> did they not teach you this at that fancy university of yours

> excuse me sirs i wanna get fucked hard so tonight that i cant walk tomorrow and skip class so do you know the nearest dive bar

> TEEP, THAT’S NOT WHAT I LEARNED AT UNIVERSITY

> clearly theyre teaching you the wrong life skills

> you must be thinking of the dahl military

> are you calling me a slut

> NO, I DIDNT EVEN KNOW YOU WERE IN THE MILITARY

> surprise bitch where else did you think i honed my sick knife throwing skills but anyway im telling minty, zylus, daltos and arsenal that youre slut shaming us

> please no, i don’t want to get annihilated

> hmm okay since im in a good mood youre safe for now

> why are you in a good mood?

> that lazy panda finally paid off their snack tab to me with interest

> you’re cruel to charge for snacks in the first place

> so says the guy who lives on a moving ship and has the luxury of a proper kitchen while all i got here is what i can fit into my modules and storage units

> okay you may have a point

> plus snacks are an important part of a survivor’s action kit

> never know when you might want to chow down on some jerky while beating some zombified guy’s head in with a crowbar you found

> back to the original subject before i give up all the major secrets to my zombie survival plan

> i dunno, i kinda wanna hear about your plan

> first we get a planet thats got everything we need to sustain civilisation as we know it for the next two centuries and then we get big cannons so that we shoot down all ships that aren’t responding to our hailing so therefore we dont get infected by people trying to sneak in past quarantine and we shoot anybody who tries to hide their bites and

> nice try rythian

> seriously just ask ravs

> what if he thinks im just in this relationship for sex?

> he wont because he knows that youre better than that

> you could always ask daltos for advice if im not around either

> why would i want to ask him?

> newsflash you forgetful asshole hes ravs ex

> oh

> shut up i dont keep track of all these relationships so intimately!

> wanna see my board then bc you might learn sth from it

> no thank you i bet it’s about the size of my wall

> heh you wouldnt be wrong about that

> im gonna go and play some games now before power napping so run along and ask ravs ifs he dtf and lemme know how it goes later

> remember that theres nothing wrong with wanting a lil bit of sweet loving you sad lonely deprived beanpole

> okay good luck with your games and the prep talk and i’m going to ignore that last bit

> i dont need no stinking luck when i have fast hands and an impeccable aim

> knowing braggart

> learned slut shamer

That concludes that. Rythian closes his tab with the conversation, sinking onto his bed. Junior’s taken to hiding in his closet for some reason. They must like how quiet and dark it is in there. Not concerned, Rythian switches off his light and slumps on his side, slightly more content with his life decisions.

#borderlandscast: writing #borderlandscast: extras

[noirnorineko-blog]

Caught (M) Jimin X Reader

Requested by anon:

can you do a dom!jimin smut where jimin, the reader, and all the other members are at the dorm maybe watching a movie then jimin is feeling kinda frisky or maybe he is jealous over the others flirting with the reader so he does "some things" and even though the others already figured out what jimin and the reader are doing jimin still continue doing what he is doing even though the others are looking so like everyone would know that the reader is his only sshSHJSD I DONT KNOW

Sorry this took so bleeding long! I hope you like voyeurism, ‘cause that’s what you’re getting! This basically just PWP, but I hope this is more or less what you wanted. Enjoy! ;)

Blood-curdling screams filled the room, and you barely blinked an eye as a woman lost her arm to an insane serial killer. It was movie night at the dorm with the rest of Jimin’s group, and in truth, you were not finding this particular movie that scary. Gore didn’t bother you, so that evening’s movie was not one that took effort to endure. Not for you, anyway. Beside you, your boyfriend, Jimin, was practically shaking with what only could be fear. Subtly, you turned your head to face Jimin. His eyes were as wide as saucers, and were glued to the screen, a grim expression upon his face. The poor guy was clearly not enjoying the movie. You placed your hand on his shoulder gently, about to remind him that it was just a stupid movie, but the small touch practically made Jimin jump out of his skin. He snapped out of whatever terror-fuelled reverie in which he had been enraptured, and turned to face you with raised brows. ‘You made me jump, idiot,’ Jimin murmured under his breath in an exasperated tone. He turned his face back to the screen, pouting - or, at least you think he meant you to believe he was looking at the screen. Apparently, Jimin must have thought you were born just yesterday, or something along those lines. Because it was blatantly obvious that, although he was facing the direction of the television screen, his eyes fell upon the DVD player below the TV screen. What a scaredy cat. Leaning over to Jimin, you quietly asked, ‘Not scared, now, are we?’ A smirk spread across your face as Jimin frowned at you. ‘Don’t be stupid,’ he softly stated in a defensive and entirely unconvincing tone. You raised an eyebrow in response, clearly indicating that his lies were transparent. Huffing, he rolled his eyes and said in a small voice, ‘Fine. Maybe I am scared… but just a little.’ Smiling to yourself, content now he had told you the evident truth, you turned your eyes back to the screen. The movie continued, more people died, and ten minutes on in the gruesome movie, Jimin turned to you and buried his face into your shoulder. ‘(Y/N),’ he whispered, ‘I’m scared.’ ‘Awww, poor baby,’ you replied in a condescending tone, as you rubbed his shoulder soothingly. Jimin pulled away to look into your eyes, and you swore under your breath as an expression with which you had become all too familiar with spread across Jimin’s face: lust. For God’s sake, why in the middle of the movie?

‘(Y/N)~’ Jimin whined, wrapping his arms around you, ‘I need a distraction from the movie.’ You supposed in another situation the request could have been harmless, innocent, even, but the seductive smirk on Jimin’s face told you that this particular request was anything but. Shaking your head, determined to keep Jimin from getting what he wanted, you gently pushed Jimin back towards his side of the sofa. He moved, reluctantly, but beneath the blanket that was thrown haphazardly across your lap, you felt a hand begin running up and down your thigh, and it didn’t to take a genius to guess who the aforementioned hand belonged to. Biting your lip, you glanced nervously at the rest of the boys in the room. There were three sofas in the living room, arranged with one in the middle, and one on each side, slightly slanted. You and Jimin shared the middle sofa. The sofa on the far left was shared by Namjoon, Yoongi and Hoseok, whereas upon the sofa to the right sat Jin, Jungkook and Taehyung. All of their eyes were upon the screen, all of them seemingly oblivious to what Jimin was attempting to achieve. Jimin allowed his hand to slide slowly up and down your thigh, his actions reflecting upon what was about to come (you, if he were to get his own way.) not doing anything concerning but you knew what was about to come. And that was most definitely you. You shot Jimin a dark glare, willing your eyes to convey the promise of a beating, which he would undoubtedly receive from you, should he continue what he was doing. Jimin simply winked in reply to your stern face, and subtly shifted, closing the miniscule gap between the two of you. So quick that you barely had time to process what was happening, let alone intercept it, Jimin’s hand dipped under the hem of your panties and began to slowly rub your clit, teasing you. Despite what he was doing to you, Jimin’s eyes were turned towards the screen, masking his devious thoughts and actions. It seemed as if he truly were engrossed in the movie as his fingers slid down to your entrance. You couldn’t help being turned on - it was his fault, and you knew that at that point that you were too turned on to not let him have his way with you. Jimin leaned over to you and pressed a light kiss on your cheek: what appeared to be a sweet, affectionate act. But in reality, it was just an excuse to whisper in your ear, ‘Dripping wet, are we? Tut tut, what a naughty girl.’ Jimin had pushed your panties aside and shoved a finger roughly inside you before you had chance to protest. You were caught off guard, and a large gasp escaped your lips. You sharply silenced yourself, and your eyes flitted around the room to see if anyone had noticed. As Jimin’s finger slowly pumped in and out of you, your eyes slid over the other individuals in the room. Namjoon, Yoongi and Hoseok had not - they were all still watching the movie intently. Your eyes moved to the other side of the room, and you checked on the other three. Jin’s eyes were on the screen. Jungkook’s eyes were on the screen. And Taehyung’s eyes… locked with yours. Well fuck. Judging by the burning intensity with which Taehyung was regarding you with, you had most definitely been caught. Jimin’s finger curled inside you, and you clapped a hand over your mouth in an attempt to muffle your moan; and failed miserably. Recognising that his ministrations were having the desired effect upon you, Jimin began to quicken the pace at which his finger was moving in and out of you. Without warning, he added another finger, and your eyes widened. ‘Jimin, stop!’ you whispered desperately, eyes flitting from Jimin to Taehyung, ‘Tae caught us?’ Jimin turned his slowly to Taehyung, who had so casually folded his hands to cover his crotch. Jimin swiped his tongue over his bottom lip and winked at Taehyung, before turning back to you. ‘Then we had better give him a good show, huh baby girl?’ Biting his lip and smirking at you, Jimin began to pump his fingers so hard into you that it was almost painful. You whimpered softly, and bit down on your lip to silence yourself, which you knew in the back of your mind was futile. And to make things worse, when your eyes flicked over to Taehyung again - who had begun palming himself through his jeans - two other pairs of eyes were watching you, too. Jin and Jungkook were watching you also - just peachy. God, was Jimin in for a beating. ‘I swear you’ve never been this wet before,’ Jimin whispered in your ear, his breath hot against your flushed skin, ‘Maybe we should ask them if they want to join us next time, hmm?’ The suggestion both horrified you, and equally turned you on even more Your orgasm loomed closer and closer as Jimin added a third finger. You couldn’t bring yourself to look back over at Taehyung, Jin and Jungkook to see if they were still watching, let alone check if the other three were, but you knew that with your rubbish luck, they would have caught on, too (newsflash, they had.) As Jimin’s fingers curled up again, they brushed directly over the spot that never failed to make you cum, and sure enough, you found your release instantly.You found your release and came - hard - around his fingers. Jimin let you ride out your high, and once the immense euphoria had subsided, he withdrew his fingers from you, only to place them in his mouth to lick them clean. When he released them from his mouth with an audible pop, Jungkook coughed awkwardly announced that he was going to get a drink of water. And then every other member of BTS agreed, and followed suit. Once they had left the room, you slapped Jimin. ‘Have you no shame?’ you questioned exasperatedly, still not being able to comprehend what had just happened. Jimin only winked at you, and pinched your thigh, making you gasp, before asking, ‘Round Two?’

#jimin smut #jimin x reader #I need jesus #what have I written #I'm a monster #park jimin #jimin bts #jimin bts smut #bts voyeurism #jimin voyeurism #jimin sexy times #daddy jimin #bts smut #bts x reader

[settingorange]

do all the evens lmao

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?

Sometimes!

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?

Lots of sugar!

6: do you keep plants?

No but I’d like some succulents

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?

I don’t express my feelings next question

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?

Side

12: what's your favorite planet?

Earth bc all my friends live here

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?

First of all, Id love this and its all i want so jot that down. It would probably be kinda messy bc of how i am and also we would have plants and art on the walls. Idk what else id like but also be afraid of a lot of windows

16: what's your favorite pasta dish?

Fetuccine alfredo fuck u max goodwin

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.

Newsflash asshole everything i do is dumb and nobody lets me live anything down. Altho i cant think of anything atm

20: what's your favorite eye color?

Not blue

22: are you a morning person?

I can be. Im versatile af

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?

Uh yeah its called every person i know im an open book bitch!!!!

26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit?

Black vans w flamingos on them which i may retire soon :((

28: sunrise or sunset?

im a ho for both but probably sunset

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?

Yes.

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.

I usually am not up that late and i cant think of anything particularly exciting except one time me and Destrie stayed up at our friend Kims grandmas house and watched Epic Rap Battles of History and we were the only people awake

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?

Which one i have so many!!! but uhhh there is one that was my favorite for  while and it was a black panther and i named her Midnight and once i got bubblegum on her and we had to cut it out. I still have her around somewhere.

36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now?

The Front Bottoms

38: tell us about your pet peeves!

My roommate clicking her pen

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you?

I have a spinny ring that I bought at earthbound, its not like, significant but i like it

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop?

Java Haute bc the memories but Vienna here at purdue has a real good spiced chai so... watch out java haute

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?

The day we went to the parking garage and lydia and i laid on the ground and looked at the stars

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.

They feel a slight precipitation."I think it’s raining," says the man."No, it’s snowing," replies the woman."How about we ask this Communist officer here? He is always right!" exclaims the man. "Officer Rudolph, is it raining or snowing?""Definitely raining," Officer Rudolph replies before walking off.The man turns to his wife with a smile. “See? Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?

A fire burning my house down. No

50: what's an odd thing you collect?

Rubber ducks ig?

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far?

any of the iasip memes tbh

54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?

Lydia “flavoureddogs” herself...

56: what are some things you find endearing in people?

just like, laughs and stuff ik how to explain it but everyones is unique and lso cute

58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?

Sarahs definitely the vodka aunt but idk who the wine mom woul be??? Me if i werent so opposed to drinking alcohol

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

I love poetry! Annabelle Lee by Edgar Allen Poe and An Etiquette for Eyes by Cate Marvin (Which if you havent heard... Please go listen to Jon Risinger read on soundcloud)

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?

Sometimes! Apple or Grape usually

64: what color is the sky where you are right now?

dark

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?

Lots of little flowers that are v cute

68: what's winter like where you live?

Cold cold cold!! Snowy sometimes!

70: have you ever used a ouija board?

No :/

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it?

Nope

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.

They go to school with me and are one of the prettiest people I know and without them id be dead on the street!!!

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't?

Dam math homework

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?

HATE

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?

Light blue, yes, because i like it

82: are/were you good in school?

i used to be

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?

id like one, maybe some kind of sunflower

86: do you like concept albums? which ones?

I do! There are quite a few but I really enjoy Death of a Bachelor and Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys 

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?

Not particularly i just like art

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities.

Im not sure i have any bc i hate terre haute and i dont know shit about anywhere else

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?

so much cheesee

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?

Myself hehe

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?

ill update my technology when im dead

98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?

real hiking? I went to turkey run w my squad in the summer so then probably

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?

The past bc the future scares me bc things change so often and also i could have a heads up on some shit that goes down

Thanks lyd for this ask it only took me forever to get around to it!!

[seyaryminamoto]

dont you think you're being a bit nitpicky? some examples. aang and toph got captured by the boulder. sokka was like "omg got the boulder's autograph!" or when he crawled into appa's mouth cause he thought he ate momo. Nobody calls sokka a retard because of those moments. I don't think you can call iroh a sexist because of that 1 june episode I also don't think giving an 8/9 year old girl a doll is sexist. everybody will look bad if you only focus on their negative moments. just my opinion on it

Uh… Uh-huh. I think you may have gotten a little lost in that post, Anon?

Let’s rewind a bit:

“I don’t know if we can label him as a sexist altogether, he doesn’t seem to inherently mistreat women just on the basis that they’re women… but he does have certain behaviors that border on sexism towards certain women, which is bothersome.”

This is literally what I said in paragraph 2 of that post, Anon. No offense, but maybe you’re the one who should be nitpickier so you can read all of what I did say instead of claiming that I outright accused Iroh of being sexist when I deliberately held back from doing so.

“His treatment of Azula never improves, we can’t really say that it’s about sexism entirely”

Again, I said his behavior over Azula may not be outright sexism. Yes, he has a handful of sexist moments, and if you’re not going to call him sexist for those fine by you, I didn’t outright label him that way either. I said there’s scenes, situations, characters that he treats in a way that begs for at least some judgment from the viewers who may want to see ATLA with a more critical eye. Iroh doesn’t treat ALL women poorly, I said it in that post, I’ll say it again if it’ll make you happy. But I do think the doll instance speaks lengths about what he’s expecting any little girl to be satisfied by (meaning either that he knows next to nothing about Azula or that he can’t be bothered to make the same efforts for her that he can for Zuko), and if you don’t want to see that as sexism that’s your problem, but it doesn’t fly with me.

If anything, I do hope you at least acknowledge it’s clear favoritism of Zuko over Azula? Because if you frankly think a common doll that probably any Ba Sing Se girl has access to is on par with a knife from the surrendering General of the city’s outer wall, then I’m afraid we’ll never see eye to eye and this whole discussion will really be pointless.

Alright, on with the next topic:

Newsflash? Yes, there are people who think Sokka is an idiot. They’re generally not being nitpickers by doing so, they just look down on him a lot. These people tend to overlook the full spectrum of his character because of how often he’s used for comic relief and how little action he gets compared with the rest of the cast (and granted, Yang’s portrayal of him isn’t helping either since he seldom gives him any serious scenes in the comics). There are people out there who refuse to take Sokka seriously, they may not call him a retard outright (no idea if they do, honestly) but they will say they think he’s an idiot and not exactly in the affectionate way. So alas, I’m afraid that’s not a good way to go about your point. This happens because I’ve seen it with my own two eyes. Good for you if you haven’t.

You may be expecting more ATLA positivity from me… well, I’m afraid I don’t have as much to offer on that front as other bloggers do. It’s not that my own work is flawless because scarcely any form of fiction will be, but yes, I have the tendency to bring up the things most people overlook about ATLA. I don’t sing praises over Zuko’s development because I find it beyond flawed and I believe it could have been better. I criticize the heroes’ morality constantly because their actions contradict their words at times (and as much as I love him, Sokka is not exempt from this either, although I do think he’s one of the heroes who does it the least).

I have a lot to say against Iroh because, as I said, he’s generally revered and his mistakes, misdeeds, wrongdoings, are either excused or overlooked or turned into funny stuff. I’m pretty sure I’m allowed not to like that. Wherever you go, whatever you do, you bring up Avatar and people will have nothing bad to say about Iroh, EVER. Part of what I do with my analysis/rants is look at the other side of the coin, see? Azula is not as rotten/broken/lost as people think, heroes are not as pure and good and flawless either. Those are facts that can be proved by all their actions. And I’m quite sorry if it makes you uncomfortable for someone to point it out, but heck, I always see thousand-notes posts going around praising so many things that I find questionable about the show. My posts on the same topics, focusing on what I’m dissatisfied by? They get 10 notes on average, maybe a bit more if a bigger blog than mine spreads it around. But that’s it. That’s all. How is it such a cause for concern that I bring up matters that I believe weren’t handled so well by the show, when the widespread ATLA content is absolutely, overwhelmingly positive?

I can understand if you’d rather I don’t throw constant criticism on what might be your favorite show, but just so you know,  I use the knowledge of where ATLA went wrong to guide my own path through writing (well, ATLA and all fictional things I see, really). I’ll make my own mistakes, no doubt, and I’ll learn from them, but I also try to learn from those others have made. That way I may make a little more progress a little faster, see?

So yes, I will bring up characters who are generally shot down, and I will shoot down characters who, as I said, are even canonically “enlightened” when they’ve got sketchy stuff worth pointing out. Why should I talk about the wonders of Iroh’s “foster dad” relationship with Zuko when that’s what EVERYONE ELSE already talks about? Why should I focus on the awful things Azula did when the show did that constantly, portraying how cold-blooded and what an “ends-justify-the-means” person she is at all times?

In the end, Anon, I’m sorry if it makes you uncomfortable but this is how I blog. I was also answering an anon ask, btw, which means I’m not the only one who’s bringing up and thinking about these matters. Some people agreed with me, too, and reblogged the post. Are you going to ask them not to spread the ill word on Iroh too? Because frankly, we may be the minority but our criticism has enough basis for there to be a small but certain group of people who agree that his behavior can be sketchy and questionable. I’m not pulling this out of my ass here.

Now, about everyone looking bad because I focus on the negative? Let me explain myself again:

Whoever wants to say Sokka is only an idiot can do so, but see, doing that means conveniently forgetting every instance where he shows otherwise: what I try to do is look at what isn’t generally in plain sight, or at all of those smaller things that went over the fandom’s head, without focusing all that much on the greatness of each heroic character because that part is in plain sight.

It’s the dark stuff that people overlook for the heroes, and it’s the dark stuff I’ll keep bringing up precisely because they’re also part of what makes a character who they are. Iroh’s instances of sexism add complexities to his character, believe it or not, because they prove he’s FLAWED. The fact that those flaws are not addressed by the show’s narrative is where the real problem of the show resides, and it’s why I will continue to address the matter the way I do, regardless of how many people may be uncomfortable by it.

So no, I’m not saying Iroh is sexist: I’m saying he’s not perfect.

Have a good day.

#Anon #._______. I mean I guess you just want me to chill but I don't know how #I have strong feelings #countless opinions #and if you're new here you'll probably see a lot more of it unless you'd rather flee from my madness now #also I am a professional nitpicker #that's what I've been brought up to be in the course of the last four years #so I'm a lot more than a bit nitpicky mind you

[tamiddyinyourcity]

1:50pm, suck my cock and balls.

Sunday, January 19th of 2020.

I decided to make a vent podcast about my ex.

It was fine.

Even if i did blatantly say i got an eating disorder, depression, and suicidal thoughts upon the ending of a relationship that had never needed to happen.

But, screw that guy. He didn't give a fuck until I actually put my foot down and stated my boundaries, or when I had left him.

Newsflash: maybe don't let random girls dictate your relationship, that they are 100% not fucking involved in.

There was no reason for it. At all. Patrick knew me. Deadass. You think he DIDNT know i wrote on here about him, or my exes, or the things i do? I dont hide shit from people I care about, fuck that girl for ever getting way too nosey for no reason.

What logic is "im just looking at all of her social media to get to know her?", and then..... refusing to get to know me, when given.... several chances, trying to villify me?

You can't be shocked that I'm uncomfortable hearing you talk shit about me and somehow reading miles deep into all of my accounts, then be surprised that I wrote about you on here? (Funny enough, I wrote about her on here, since back then, i didnt know that stalker bitch had found my tumblr and had been actively watching it?)

.....But, whatever. Clowns will be clowns, and I'm not one to wanna be in the circus, not anymore.

Since Patrick could have easily went "you're being weird creeping her accounts", "why haven't you bothered to talk to her if you're so interested?", and "if you realistically can't attend my party, without threatening to sabotage it.... dont show up."

.....

He chose what he chose, and it said all that it needed to.

So, with that said, I think I've stopped wanting him. I just lack joy in him.

Yesterday was very nice, watercoloring and talking in the sun. But, what's the point? There's not really one.

He's still gonna ignore my texts or cancel hangouts, if it means he can hang with the people who openly excluded me.

He can't do anything for me.

He couldn't even shower before a hangout. (I already have such a low bar for men that I'm not dating, but jesus fucking christ, he smelled like he smeared dickcheese all over himself then drove over to pick me up that day....)

He also smelled pretty bad yesterday, but that just seems like his designated scent, so.... ew.

Anyway.

Niggas ain't shit but hoes and tricks.

Gonna do better. Even if it takes longer. Since I could care less if one pile of shit person is slightly less shitty than the men that have approached me so far....

It doesn't mean I have to accept it for what it is.

When the options are "stick around and see if maybe, someday, Patrick will want to fuck you again", or "Accept the fact that you're just gonna have to deal with unhygienic, unattractive, and broke men who care nothing about your needs in life, romance, or sex".... Then I can always choose the secret third option, called "I'm too good for this", and just walk away.

Since even as a friendship, I'd:

Eventually get anxious out of nowhere. Random thoughts of "is he seeing other people? if so, why is he around me? if not, then why does he still wanna see me? is this weird? am i weird?"

Keep having him do that guilty face he does whenever we meet up, looking like he stole a family heirloom or some shit. (He did basically crip walk all over my heart and emotions, but im not even gonna start on that right now...)

Lose interest in seeing him. (The classic case of "im not used to platonic male friends, and especially exes", and preferring the company of someone who can call me hot, instead of someone who's afraid to make direct eye contact... you know?) [Speaking of which, hes still a bit too attractive to fully see as platonic right now. Damn, a cute dude, I'll say...]

It's not a healthy friendship, if I just am hoping to bang. [So no head?.... *SMASH*]

Inevitably it's gonna get confusing.

And I hate his conflict avoidance as a whole. Its the very thing that always caused problems for us.... And, resulted in the ending of an otherwise fine relationship.

.....

I woke up fine. I didn't furiously masturbate cry over them, I felt okay. My mind went offtrack a bit and I thought, "Well, would I be fine seeing him with someone else?"

Yes. Better someone else than me, if we look at how well he's managed to fuck things up with me in a very consistent constant manner.

(I don't like the image of him banging someone else, but that's just gross intrusive thoughts... It'll suck, knowing someone else will be plowed and cuddled and kissed by the person I really liked, buuuut...... Eh, he chose not to do that with me. Didn't value our relationship enough to keep it. And just probably never liked me as much. So, ew, but its better that i leave either way.)

"Do I wanna bang him?"

Probably not.

If I was asked yesterday, it would be a yes. But just reflecting on.... everything, no. He's... different. Even if we fucked, it would be different. It wouldnt be "look at these two cute anxious fucks having fun", it would be me getting fucked, dropped off at home, then ignored and forgotten until it was convenient for him.

"Would I date him again?"

Fuck no.

I'd be flattered at the suggestion, if he did, but he never had. And if it was on my terms to go "Ask him out first! Show him you're interested and he will take the bait!", then I'd rather eat a fucking jean jacket than ever open up to him about my feelings again.

He never listened before. And I don't need another round of, "Everyone else blatantly sees the problem, but you'll deny it, and claim that your stalkery childhood friend, your inability to relate to others emotionally, and your gaslighting nature are just *things im supposed to accept*, and will get condescending if I feel upset hearing that."

Truuuust me. If a fucknigga cant even so much as tell someone to step off, whether its a complete stranger spitting in my face, or one of his supposedly most understanding and close friends trying to tell him not to have me show up to his fucking party...

Then he's shown me how "faithful" he is, and I don't need that trash ass shit in my life.

Go fuck yourself, Patrick.

.......

Hatred aside, I've been doing well today.

Cutting out pictures from magazines to make vision boards, finding funny memes relating to stories I wanna write, feeling good.

Making the podcast made me feel great, honestly.

Since.... If a man doesn't show me that he cares, I have no obligation to him whatsoever.

If I wanna make a podcast that actually has me opening up about my experiences, feeling suicidal, and whatnot... I lose nothing, man.

Since if he was my friend:

I wouldn't be so hesitant to talk about something that had really fucked me up these days. Its been a month since our very first initial breakup, and i want to get over this fuckface as quickly as possible. My method? Venting. Recordings. Podcasts. Its not a good friendship or dynamic, if i either refuse to make content for the sake of pretending nothing bad ever happened between us, or if i make something that could potentially hurt him if he heard it all himself.

I would be healed from everything.

He would've understood why shit was so fucked, and acknowledged it fully.

.....

So, I made the podcast.

No more "what if he does wanna date me someday?", no more "what if he wouldve banged me?", no more "its so close to being like back then!"

No, he won't. He would've if he wanted to

No, he won't. Plus, you can really do better, he was adorable but you can always find someone that you don't feel awkward or bland with in bed.

I don't care. It never will be. For the reasons above; he does not have hidden feelings for you, or feel sorry for anything that he's done. He will never be like he was that day at the Bolt Halloween Party, or at the Ports. He is an entirely new person, and all that lingers is his awkwardness and his mistakes. "A good friend" my ass. He's literally just a constant reminder of how nothing gold can stay, so, fucking leave him.

I never wanted things to get this fucked. Period.

All I wanted were simple things; a nice guy to be with. We'd get food, talk about life here or there, have a good mix of really intelligent versus really really stupid conversations. And if he wanted to fuck, cool. We could drive to his place, bang while watching Murder Party, relax for awhile, then part ways when he went to work.

I didn't expect a relationship; it just so happened to be a really good one.

Then, it ended.

And now, the idea of my ideal situation with him is stained. With memories of crying in my bed over him, not eating for days, and wanting to take my life. And the knowledge of, "he'd do the same things again, in a heartbeat if he could rewind time and try things out."

If I was at gunpoint by a random robber with Azalea, he'd be the one to jump into action, by pushing me at the gunman. :)

If I was in quicksand and had no way to climb out, unless he could manage to get Azalea to grab a branch and drag me out of it, then he'd go, "That seems unfair! What if she got splinters? I cant do that to my best friend, I've known her for years!", and letting me drown.

(Insert another metaphor about him being a people pleasing, conflict avoiding asshole, who doesnt realize he causes more problems than he defuses by running away, and would be more prone to drop me than to even slightly inconvenience that other bitch here.)

Yeah!

A person like that is not a friend. At most, an acquaintance.

I could picture us meeting to paint again, but I doubt we'd ever be close again. Not enough to talk about our past, the present, or the future. It'd be hiding talking about relationships, or wincing at the idea of.... anything past a movie i guess.

He just really made it hard to like him again, and i really dont think i can forgive him again.

:)

2:32pm, I am hungry. Gonna grill me a cheese and continue working on these poster boards... peace and love, fams. Have a nice one.

#god bless and amen #feels nice #self care is acknowledging your own cravings for independence without consequences #and realizing your ex was not a great person #so yes #you can survive not speaking to him #he wont die either #considering hes leaving you on read even with you around #aaaaand that life will be fine #talk about your ex as much as you want #stop caring about what hurts his feelings #hes never cared about yours and your life goes on either way #god bless and amen to that #nice #exes #awesome #loveliness