#NVM GOOD MORNING IT’S 12 AM!!?

[catmanbowser]

Heyyy guess who it is again :3!!1!!!1!

vv sea turtle vv

dump while trying to figure it out (going not so well but im just tracing heavy’s shape first)

#jason todd #dc #catman's art #im yeah okay it’s him again hiiiiiiiiii #okay byee good night!! #NVM GOOD MORNING IT’S 12 AM!!?

[snowyquokka]

Hi gorgeous 💞

I honestly love you work, thank you so much ❤️

If it's not too much to ask but my birthday is on 14th March so can you write a hyunjin x f reader smut +fluff with him giving reader his birthday gift for her (surprise me with your writing)?

I would really appreciate it 🥺

Bye 👋

SYMPHONIES

cw: mature content MDNI, fem reader, oral *f receiving, swearing, friends to lovers, no aftercare shown but is implied

wc: 1.3k

a.n - happy birthday beautiful!! i hope this was a good enough present <3

✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧

12:00 AM

Tons of DMs, calls and texts erupt on your phone simultaneously, wishing you a happy birthday. Everyone but the one you wanted most.

Is it wrong to be in love with your best friend since the sixth grade? To a normal person, maybe, but to you it’s the reality you’re forced to live.

4:00 AM

Did he forget? You can’t blame him; he is an idol after all and he’s probably exhausted. At this point the group chat you are in with all the guys is blowing up to the point where you had to silence it once you realized that Hyunjin wasn’t responding or jumping in the conversation.

CHILDREN OF CHAN

|lixie - happy birthday cutie

|hanji - HAPPY BIRTHDAY

|hanji - get ready to party bitch. it’s on

|seungmo - im not getting stuck with han’s shitfaced ass this time

|minhoe - it’s only like one in the morning and you’re already plotting?

|innie - felix get back on league

|channie - im trying to sleep

|seungmo - put your phone on silent then old man

|seungmo - nvm you probably dont know how at ur jurassic age

You let out a small laugh and bite your lip, contemplating if you should thank them or not. Ultimately deciding against it and telling yourself that you’ll do it when you wake up, you turn off your phone and roll over onto your side, soundlessly falling asleep.

10:00 AM

There’s a knock at the door, startling you out of yet another poor attempt at sleeping. You hop out of bed sluggishly and make your way to the living room. To your surprise, Hyunjin is leaning against the doorway, having let himself in with the emergency key you gave him when you first moved in.

“Just in case,” He insisted, “What if something happens and you need me? Or vice versa.” The fact that you believed that would be the only scenario he used it for seemed a bit foolish as he visited more and more.

You spot a somewhat large box, royal blue with a red ribbon on top, in Hyunjin’s hands. He smiles and pushes off the doorway. “I’m sorry to intrude like that, you weren’t answering your phone.” He says when he reaches you.

You shrug, “It’s okay. I was only sleeping.” Hyunjin nods and places the box in your hands with a sly grin, “Open,” He gestures towards the box. You move to the couch and take the lid off the box. The first thing on top is your very own Jiniret. “So you stop kidnapping my child,” Hyunjin laughs and slides onto the couch next to you. The next thing you pull out is an all black hoodie and when you turn it around you see Hyunjin’s name on the back. The small gesture shouldn’t cause butterflies to emerge in your stomach, but it does to your dismay.

You take out the rest of the stuff (a few small fake plants, Versace perfume that you scold him for buying for you, and a couple of his PCs sprinkled in between everything). You finally reach the bottom and furrow your eyebrows when you pull out a blindfold. You look at Hyunjin whose expression has morphed into something mischievous. He moves the box out of your lap and takes the blindfold out of your hands before tying it around your head, obstructing your vision.

“C’mon, stand up.” You do and Hyunjin slides his hand in yours, guiding you somewhere.

After a few moments you assume you’ve reached your bedroom, the smell of your favorite candle filling the air. The door clicks behind you and now you’re hyper aware of Hyunjin’s presence.

“Why are we in my room, Jin?” Instead of answering you, he runs his fingers delicately down your bare forearms, leaving a trail of goosebumps in his wake.

“I think we can both agree that we have more than just a normal friendship, don’t you think?” Hyunjin’s voice has noticeably dropped, causing shivers to wrack your body. Your heartbeat quickens so much that you wouldn’t be surprised if he could hear it. “I asked you a question, baby.”

Are you dreaming? You must be dreaming. There is absolutely no way you aren’t. He would never say anything like this. Right? Right. You’re pulled out of your thoughts when Hyunjin places his hands on your hips and presses you flush against his body.

Maybe you aren’t dreaming, judging by the very real, sizable erection digging into your stomach. “Hyunjin I-” You aren’t too sure what to say except to agree with him. He walks you back to the bed and gently lets you down, climbing over you soon after.

“Are you sure?” You know for sure that he would never lie about something like this, especially with you. You’re asking yourself more than you are him.

He toys with the hem of your shirt, “May I?” You nod and raise your arms as he lifts it over your head before immediately attaching his lips to your neck. Hyunjin nips at your shoulder and collar bone before making his way down to your breasts. “Do you want this?”

“Yes, please.” You whine. He unclasps your bra and throws it somewhere. His mouth attacks your right breast, his other hand massaging the other. Your back arches in pleasure and you can’t help but let out a groan. How can’t you when Hwang fucking Hyunjin has his pretty pink lips wrapped around your nipple.

“Fuck, baby. You make the sexiest sounds.” Hyunjin drops to his knees, pulling your shorts and panties down with him. His mouth waters at the sight of his index finger being swallowed whole by your tight heat.

“Holy shit,” You say breathlessly. You raise your hands to take the blindfold but he stops you.

“Not yet, baby. Want to make you come first,” With that he adds another finger and watches, mesmerized, as your cunt takes his digits. The lewd sounds filling the room are enough to make him bust right then and there. He manages to pull himself together though. That is, until he gets a taste of you.

Hyunjin’s tongue slides in between your folds in one flat stripe and he groans. The groan is so deep that you feel it vibrate through your entire being. He traces figure eights across your clit and you swear you're in heaven. His tongue is euphoric and the feeling of his delighted groans are better than ecstasy.

“Hyune, please. I’m almost there.” Your fingers tug at his roots so hard you might have to apologize later. Hyunjin doesn’t seem to mind very much.

“You’re so good for me, baby. Come on, finish for me. Let me hear those pretty little symphonies of moans.” You clench around his fingers as he increases the pressure on your clit, giving you a knee buckling orgasm. You crash so hard that Hyunjin has to hold up your waist to prevent you from falling.

He chuckles and licks the insides of your thighs clean before rising to his feet and pulling you into a wet kiss, your own juices invading your tastebuds. Hyunjin finally lets you take off the blindfold after helping you sit up. The man in front of you looks so proud of himself with a lopsided grin, your release glistening on his lips.

“Happy birthday, baby.” He pulls you into another kiss and cups your jaw.

“This gonna happen every year?” You smile. Hyunjin shakes his head.

“This is gonna happen whenever you’ll let me.”

#snowyquokka #stray kids #skz #skz imagines #skz scenarios #skz x reader #skz reader insert #skz reactions #hwang hyunjin smut #hyunjin skz #stray kids imagines #hyunjin stray kids #hyunjin smut #hwang hyunjin

[waterloggedsoliloquy]

mutual 1: sorry the update for my webcomic this week is a bit late! i really had to rush it so it prolly looks really sloppy lol [some of the most sophisticated comic art ive ever seen]

mutual 2: call me uterine lining the way astarions cervix got me bleeding profusely

mutual 3: do you think nanowrimo will give me a posthumous pity publishing deal if i mention it in my suicide note

mutual 4: okay fine i finally started revolutionary girl utena

mutual 5: does columbo know the service he did for butch lesbians. for all of us

mutual 6: wish you were here [blurry picture set of conifer woods in early autumn evening, taken as if frantically running down a winding trail]

mutual 4: im pretty hardy i dont need the trigger list but thanks for looking out for me guys

mutual 7: good morning lovelies another day the wizard tried to best me and another day i successfully locked him in the spare bathroom lol hope u like drinking shampoo fucker

mutual 8: here is a zip of every yuri manga scan i have and here is a backup in case i get dcma'd. the himejoshi lifestyle will never die

mutual 9: i wish i could go back in time to the shinzo abe assassination and ask to hold the doohickey

mutual 10: here's my essay on how wanting to be loved is the same as wanting to be eaten. three paragraphs in you'll find out that this is 100% tied to an obscure beauty and the beast manga i've been reading lately and how much i want to fuck the beast

mutual 4: oh thats why there was the trigger list.

mutual 11: YOU CAN'T LOCK ME IN THIS BATHROOM FOREVER

mutual 12: why do i have to defend my thesis to people i dont even respect. im not dickriding you just give me the degree

mutual 13: its just me and this scab ive picked into my scalp against the world

mutual 14: my little dragon got glazed and is ready to go into the kiln! everyone wish him good luck!

mutual 3: nvm i am a beautiful genius. perhaps the most beautiful genius of all

mutual 15: i think we should give david lynch rpgmaker and whatever happens happens

mutual 16: kpeyboaatrds brpokem gpuys

mutual 17: also heres my work in progress glossary of mixtec words! i still have a long way to go but i love being able to preserve my roots even in this small way

mutual 4: i just finished the black rose arc. question: what

mutual 18: i need emet-selch to be my wife

mutual 19: i need glados to be my husband

mutual 20: visited the ocean today!!! <3 beach pics!!! there is a darkness growing within me

mutual 21: the forms for my legal name change came in. pls vote in this poll of what my middle name should be: Dill Pickle (Dickle for short), Optimus Prime, Tumblr User Gorgonicteratologist, Smeve

mutual 22: just finished my 100th book of the year! this weeks read was the uses of enchantment by the psychologist bruno bettelheim,

mutual 23: reeses penis butter cups lol

mutual 4: i need to hunt akio for sport

mutual 24: oouugghhrgh. hot. dog.

mutual 25: your favorite character or fictional other would want you to brush your teeth and wash your face so you're well rested and wake up feeling refreshed! make them proud!

mutual 26: being a delivery driver isnt the worst job ive ever had but i do keep wondering what itd be like to drive off into the wild blue yonder one day and not come back

mutual 27: weird dog? [phone picture of critically endangered stork]

mutual 28: i think the two phone line polls in front of my house are having a lovers tryst. no way to prove it tho

mutual 4: WHAT

mutual 29: while you bitches are balduring your gates or finalling those fantasies im doing what a REAL gamer does. playing a b tier rpg that came out in 2004 for the 18th time

mutual 30: ^ real. hamtaro ham ham heartbreak is a masterpiece of interactive art. im not even going to call it a video game at this point

mutual 4: THAT'S HOW IT ENDS?! ANTHY?

mutual 31: can you help me pick which drawing looks better: 34% overlay or 36% soft light?

mutual 32: new video essay out. its called disability in video game narratives: final fantasy 14's most reliable fault. i churned the script out over an all-nighter and my mic crapped out halfway through but by god i did it

mutual 33: my new zine bundle is out! if you buy it you also get a discount on all my game jam games! i really cant wait for you to play them!

mutual 4: yall should watch revolutionary girl utena

#cecil drawls #long post #i love you guys

[aamethyst000]

may 13, 23 2:53pm - very anxious!! ♡

I am so excited to go into town and change me name & gender!! I am also so very nervous about this process not working out for me. I wouldn't know who to go to if that were to happen. I also want to being my little brother in town to get his ID'S done, he is 16 now [could've gotten then when he was 15 but, it's okie] and I've promised him to get his own ID.

11:03pm - mum and I got the dishes done and started cooking right after. we had pork cutlets with mashed potatoes for supper tonight. now we are getting ready for mothers day tomorrow 🙌 we are having turkey for her holiday. Mother is also helping me with the name change this week! I am so happy, well, so far she only knows about me wanting to change my last name. not my full name and gender change ♡ oooo~ I am so excited ♡♡♡ I find out some time in August if BC serves accepts my name and gender change.

may 15,23 11:47pm

I am planning on learning how to roller blade some time tomorrow. it seems kind of fun and a good excuse for me to go outside more often. after I make the trip to rupert, I am going to start saving up money for the move. I may just have to suck it up and look for a full time job. working at the clinic is not too bad, I am just answering calls and making appointments.

may 16, 23 8:38am

I woke up pretty late [as per fckn usual] my little brother was taking his time to get ready for school, then I took the dogs out for their first outing.

11:25pm - I took a nap this morning to by pass the tooth pain, which only worked after I brushed my teeth. I honestly thought it was going to hurt a little more but it didn't. which was pleasing to know. I am hoping my brother and I can make it into town Thursday morning. I am getting more and more anxious about changing my name and gender legally!! aaaaagggghhhhh djfkhsfkdj—

may 17, 23 8:51am - my tooth was hurting really badly last night, like to the point where I couldn't move at all late last night. had to put pressure on my face, take 3 pills to numb the pain and I was crying. I seriously gotta make an appointment asap.

11:46am - I don't think I am going to go out again today. that pain took quite a bit of energy out of me. I am currently making lunch for my little brother and then I think I am going to have to take the puppers out during lunch hour, we have workers just outside my house and wuxi [one of the two puppers] barks at anything and anyone. so she won't pee if that's all she's paying attention to.

1:56pm - just having a toke before I go get dressed to check the post office and then head down to the band office and pay for my little brother and i's round trip tomorrow.

9:05pm - nvm, we are going to go into town next week do get both of our ID's done. my mother and I needed to double check with bc services and whatnot.

12:21pm - I am just going to brush my teeth before I go lay back down for a bit. then, I a going to take the dogs out for their last outing. I am not going to have a late night toke, my tooth is still hurting. good night!

#happy #lgbt #2spirit #journal #journal entry #journalist #lgbtq #journalist amethyst000 #they/them #nature #photographer amethyst000 #photographer nature #photography #photographer #moss #green #sunrise #sunnyday

[ilynaevis]

[12:00, bang chan]

genre : angst warnings : mentions of illness, angst word count : 368

playlist 

chan sets down his mug of coffee on the kitchen island, shuffling through the mail for today. one in particular catches his eye. it has nothing on the envelope except for a black rose stamped on the corner: his favourite flower. he’s only ever told one person. he opens the letter, releasing a breath he didn’t know he was holding as he unfolds the piece of paper.

to my dearest bang chan, 

if you’re reading this, that means i’m not with you anymore. i’m so sorry i had to leave. fate can’t be stopped, right? that’s what you said to me when we met each other at the convenience store, then the coffee shop, and finally, at a record shop. i hope you know that the times i had with you were the best moments of my life, and i would go through all the pain of my sickness again if it meant i would meet you at the convenience store one day. 

do you still like frank sinatra? we both reached for his vinyl at the record store down the street, remember? anyways, i made a mixtape of the songs you’ve mentioned you liked. it should be with your mail or something like that. i was never too thorough, you know. but do me one favor: when you listen to it, don’t be sad, please. 

chan, i wrote this to tell you that when i go, i don’t want you to stop everything and grieve. there’s still a lot to say, but i’ll tell you when i see you again. right now, i’ll say this: don’t stop meeting new people, go out with your friends. meet someone that makes you happy. someone that makes those dimples of yours show. don’t stop yourself.

i love you, my butterfly boy. thank you for everything, thank you for the endless butterflies you gave me.

y/n 

the ink from your pen spreads out on the page. click. chan sits on a stool, listening to the lyrics of the song. he smiles softly, the blissful memories turning into bittersweet ones. he loved you. he loves you. but he’ll keep getting up every morning, and he’ll try to move on. for you.

a/n : take this as an apology for not getting the jisung fic out this week 🙏 Wait nvm this isn’t a good apology it’s literally angst LMFAOOO i am so sorry guys forgive me pleek..... jisung fic WILL be out next week i promise

perm taglist (open !!) : @soobin-chois @jungwonize​ 

#kflixnet #ficscafe #skz #skz x reader #skz fic #stray kids #bang chan #chan x reader #skz oneshot #skz fluff #skz angst #bang chan angst #bang chan fluff #stray kids imagines #stray kids oneshot #skz scenarios

[teenyweenynightghost]

Maneskin Group Chat - Chapter 8

A/n: so I have some requests left but my brain no worky so why not post part 8 of this absolute chaotic piece of shit. Hope you enjoy <3

Masterlist (for the other chapters)

Warnings: swearing. Like a lot

(Maneskin House 10:35)

D: We should make another music video

E: It is an expensive and difficult decision to make, Damiano, we can’t just decide to do it over text

D: Shut up EDGAR

D: I suggest Mamma Mia

T: Perfect, we’ll kill all our fans

V: YOU GUYS I HAVE AN IDEA

T: WHAT

E: Speak child

V: weird- ANYWAY

V: WHAT IF WE KILLED DAMIANO IN THE VIDEO

T: YES YES YES YES

E: This is the first violent thing you suggest that I agree with

V: Because it’s genius

T: I WANNA SMASH A GUITAR ON HIS FACE

V: I WANNA MAKE OUT WITH A GIRL

E: If I’m tagging along… I suppose drowning Damiano in piss would be nice

D: :0

D: what

V: Awww bambino, WE’RE GONNA HAVE SO MUCH FUN

D: 😦☝️

D: 😑🤌

D: Why

V: Ok let’s all weigh in as to why

V: EHEM number one- you’re a constant pain in our fucking ass

V: You’re a perfectionist asshole

T: You expose me in interviews for stealing ciggarets

E: You keep crowd surfing and I have to deal with you crying later from the injury

D: Y/N CARE TO HELP

E: No chance. She’s sleeping next to me

V: Is that why I heard no movement from your room?

E: What. Did you want me to wake her up?

V: You’re a fool, Ethan.

E: Y’ALL OH MY FUCKING GOD CAZZO VICTORIA DE ANGELIS QUEEN DEL TRASH JUST WROTE AN ACTUAL SENTENCE

V: Do you want us to kill you too?

D: Mr Noodle and the princess killing Ethan and I? With what strength

T: Hey! I’ve started walking!

E: power. Walking. Thomas. Power walking.

T: At least I’m not like Damiano

D: I WORKOUT!

T: Yeah in bed

D: You have terrible comebacks Thomas. You are right. I am a sex god

V: BACK TO THE VIDEO YOU DUMB ASSHOLES

D: I preffered this discussiom

V: Of course you did 🙄

D: Ok, well, Giorgia is home so, excuse me Thommy bambino but I’ll go “workout”

T: THATS EW AND I DID NOT NEED TO KNOW THAT

E: Close your eyes Cobra and pretend you didn’t read that

T: Yeah I’m gonna go do that

***

12:27

Y/n: Well, I missed a bit

V: Morning hottie

Y/n: A good morning to you too, Victoria

V: Did Ethan wake you up properly or did you wake up without a head between your legs?

E: Victoria de Angelis stop flirting with my girlfriend.

V: No grazie, bebeh <3

Y/n: You two are cute

V: Exactly, so you could come to my room

V: You’d have a much better time than with Ethan😉

***

T: Why did I hear a scream

Y/n: I have a guess

T: Nvm I read the previous messages

V: THIS BITCH

Y/n: what happened

V: HE TORE OUT A STRING FROM MY BASS!?? WHO DOES THAT

E: hihi

D: Ethan. She’ll disassemble your drum set

E: she can fucking try

V: oh? Too bad you’re already back in bed with Y/n

E: 😃

E: che

V: CIAO FUCKERS

***

V: so i talked to our manager and she said we can all kill Dami in the new video

D: idk about y’all but im feeling a bit attacked

T: that is because we are attacking you

D: NAH REALLY?

T: you said the dumb thing first

D: you’re lucky you’re such a cutie

T: i want to smash a guitar on his head

D: YEAH YOU MENTIONED THAT BEFORE JACKASS

T: you just called me a cutie im getting whiplash

T: MOMMY

E: i was out running errands what

E: who hurt you

T: the whore

E: damiano

D: now im lowkey insulted

Y/n: oh but you let Gio call you that?

D: the day you’ll fuck me like she does will be the day you get to call me that

Y/n: fair enough. Babe did you get me tampons?

E: we have three packs in the bathroom

Y/n: what type

E: lemon, strawberry and mint, amore

Y/n: tampons, not ice cream

E: oh yeah and we have chocolate ice cream

Y/n: too?

E: wdym too

Y/n: AMORE what do you think the colored packaging on tampons refers to?

E: … Vic said they’re flavours

***

[chat between Y/n and Vic]

V: im begging you go with it

V: its my longest running lie

V: i even convinced his whole family to go with it

Y/n: he will be deeply hurt

Y/n: im in

V: perfection

***

[maneskin house]

Y/n: you’re right, babe

Y/n: but how old are the lemon ones? They stopped making them quite a while ago

D: how? Gio asks me to get them all the time

Y/n: oh… then ig i just didn’t see em

E: maybe

T: uh guys

D: no

T: ok maybe later

V: dami you asshole

D: vic you sea bitch

V: sea??

D: your eyes- they’re like the sea

V: and thats supposed to be an insult?

***

E: I WANT TO KNOW WHO DID NOT ANSWER THOMAS’S PHONE CALL

V: damiano

D: it was victoria del trash

Y/n: what happened?

E: HE CALLED ME CRYING WITH SIRENS IN THE BACKGROUND

V: uh…oh

E: HE SET FIRE TO THE KITCHEN AND YALL WERE LITERALLY NEXT DOOR

E: HOW DID YOU NOT NOTICE??

V: we’re antisocial

Y/n: OMG THE POOR BOY! IS HE OK? WHERE ARE YOU GUYS??

E: we’re… we’re getting ice cream

V: 😑

V: bullshit why does your snap map show you’re the mall

E: he wanted to get a plush

E: to commemorate

E: burning theee strands of hair off

D: and you went with it?

E: WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO??

V: fair

V: i want to go buy more leather harnesses y/n r u cumming with me?

E: i will kill you

Y/n: sure!

E: 👁👄👁

Y/n: what

Y/n: OH

V: oh shit i made a typo

Y/n: oh okay

Y/n: anyway… see you in 5 min?

Vic: sure 😇

Taglist: @fuckim-so-gay @ginny-lily @messyhairday-me @cheese-toastie-11 @wannabemarlenabutiscoraline e @simp-per-ethan @maneskinrollercoaster @juststalking @superchrystaldrug @immrbrightsideeee @shehaddreamstoo @tiaamberxx @bidet-and-legolas @makapaka11 @electra-phoebe @makeavvish @perfectlyunbiasedobservation @cucciolafaerie @theimpossiblehologramtree @unitersmoonshine @deeavjbes @selenophiliaxx @oro-e-diamanti @l0standn0tf0und @iosonoarina @que--sera--sera @writingmaneskin @rhaellasdaughter

#maneskin #victoria de angelis #ethan torchio #damiano david #måneskin #thomas raggi #incorrect quotes #maneskin fic #giorgia soleri #chat fic

[thebrixtons]

—BEHIND THE SCENES—

Previous - Beginning - Next

(Transcript under the cut!)

@markinghamroyals​

[dialogue in italics — text message]

Gideon: hey. u up?

Ophelia: yeah.

Gideon: i’m bored. u wanna come over?? we can watch a movie or smth

Ophelia: seriously, gideon??? it’s almost one in the morning.

Gideon: ??????

Ophelia: you want me to come over to your place, at 1 am, so we can... watch a movie?

Gideon: nvm then.

Ophelia: now’s not a good time. it’s late and we have class tmr.

[👑❤️🔥 is typing. . .]

???: Come back to bed.

Ophelia: I will if you ask nicely.

[Phone dings]

Gideon: r u available friday after class? i need u to do my pset packet

Eiza: umm yes. also??? i’m not doing it FOR you. i’ll help you, and that’s it. 🙄

Eiza’s grandmother, Martha: Que estas haciendo despierta a estas horas? Anda dormite YA!!! (translation: What are you doing awake? Go to bed now!)

Eiza: Sorry, abuela.

Gideon: sure. bye eiz

Eiza: gn 🙄

[Gideon is typing. . .]

[Message read, 12:53 a.m.]

#thesimsroyalfam #behind the scenes #sim: gideon #sim: ophelia #ts4 royal family #sims 4 royal family #sims royal family #sims 4 royal #sims 4 royals #ts4 royal #ts4 royals #ts4 monarchy #ts4 royal simblr #royal simblr #ts4 simblr #TS4 #ts4 royal legacy #ts4 storytelling #gidelia arc

[chocosvt]

tagged by @gamerwoo & @secndlife!

if you were mentioned in this, then consider urself tagged oxoxoxo (unless u have already done it lol). i thought this was so enjoyable and a gr8 timeframe which lays out all ur progress + i luv reading the responses! thx for the tags!

01: first creation of 2020

split your heart, posted in february. 

my last few months of 2019 were pretty rough, and i think i took a december hiatus? i didn’t actually get back into the swing of writing until after january! and i came back with an ANGST obviously!!

02: most recent creation of 2020

paint by numbers, posted in december.

this fic was a gift for my cwc secret santa!! it gave me an excuse to write more joshua hehe. HE HAS SIX FICS ON MY MLIST HE’S BEING SO GREEDY!!

03: one of your fave creations from 2020

i’m going to BREAK the rules and mention two fics, okay? okay. i would definitely say fireflies, my prince!seokmin au <3 enemies to lovers makes makes my heart flutter + because i love you, posted for jun’s bday! those r like... my comfort fics which r among the few of my works i can actually reread :_)

04: a creation you’re really proud of

CONNECT! this is my cyborg!au for vernita :-) i’ve always wanted to write an au of this sort but i could never get it quite right! then one day, the writing gods bestowed upon me this miraculous edge for writing sci-fi. WHO KNOWS WHERE THAT CAME FROM bc i don’t /// anyways, i luv the connect universe!

05: a new style that you tried this year and a work that used it

my style legit changes per every fic i write so i CANNOT answer this! 

06: a creation that took forever

okay everyone already knows the answer to this IWFJEURF but of course it’s going to be honeyboy for mingyu ;_; that 54k behemoth!! i think it took me five months to complete + an extra month that went toward proofreading. 

07: your creation from 2020 that received the most notes

fireflies, my prince!seokmin au. i think it’s abt ten notes away from 1k? which is verycrazy verycrazy. i honestly thought not many ppl were going to read that fic bc i don’t seem like the type to write royalty au’s! so i was shockt. 

08: a creation you think deserved more notes

probably second life, my ghost!au for woozi! but it’s got some very serious/sensitive topics so i definitely wouldn’t push ppl to read this story!

09: a new fandom you joined and a creation you made for it

honestly, i didn’t join any new fandoms this year! i rly do not have the excess time like i once did ;_; i can only focus on svt and even then i slip so much! i also need to make time for myself bc there r many things i need to improve on. it’s partly the reason my presence on this site has declined a lot BUT no need to worry i always try to make time for my blog bc it’s very important to me!

10: a creation you made that breaks your heart.

NONE! my heart is unbreakable! just kidding. hmmmmm but honestly i rly do not know! i guess second life? but i don’t know. but it could be! but prob not. OH WAIT nvm I JUST REALIZED I HAVE AN ANSWER forgive me i am stupidt. heat and heartbreak for chan!! mwhahahahahahaha. it’s a break up!au.

11: a simple creation that you really love.

nine in the morning, my fwb fic for my sweet prince, mr moon jun! this was actually a shorter piece (which could have totally blown into smth HUGE but eurhfwuehf no.... it’s soft, fluffy and to the point! very rare find over here, guys.

12: a creation inspired by someone else.

@chanhao-s time travel!au for jeonghan helped me form the plot for second life, and the fact that woozi’s spirit had been preserved from the last century. i just LOVE time travel stuff even though i would NEVER DO IT!!!!! omg.

13: a favourite creation made by someone else

i’ve been giving ficrecs like crazy on this blog and i’m sure those authors r so tired of me crawling into their mentions like a ferret off its leash. SO INSTEAD I WILL GUIDE YOU TO MY FICREC BLOG BC IT HAS SOME OF THE JEWELS AND GEMS OF THE CARAT WRITING COMMUNITY / @chocoreads / + more to be reblogged when i have the time to leave my unnecessarily detailed comments. 

14: some of your fave content creators this year

@ally-127 / @by-moonflower / @candyshua​ / @carat / @celestialpearls / @dinolovebot / @dinoshaur​ / @fallinnflower / @fluffysvt / @hansolmates​ / @jaeyoonurl / @kabira / @love-dreams / @luvshuas​ / @minkwans / @redevenir​ / @secndlife / @shionwrites​ / @shoshishua / @solarwonux / @sunlithues​ / @sunlightwoo​ / @tearsofsyrup / @thekidultlife / @thetypingpup / @wavesmp3​ / @woozisnoots / @viastro 

i tried my best to gather everyone who uploaded smth i fully enjoyed this year, and i’m so freakin sorry if i forgot anyone ;_; thank u so much for creating and putting pieces of urself out onto this dusty site for everyone to enjoy <3

15: and for good measure, a couple more creations of yours that you love

i mentioned pretty much all my content from this year except for the weight of blood + sweet poison! i don’t think i’m forgetting anything .... hmmmm, i probably am bc i have the recollective abilities of a deflated bag of potato chips. ANYWAYS! my heart goes out to everyone!! i luv you very much!

#lettuce see many happy moments in the new year guise #AND YES I'M REUSING THIS BANNER just pretend you've never seen it before and if you haven't then u're fine don't even worry #t:tg

[skinnyghosttears]

April 13, 2021

2:10 am

Burned 500kcal. I wanted to burn 1000 but I feel so sick and I cant keep workout with this nausea. I feel like Im gonna vomit soon, I cant literally see or just think about any food without feeling worse so i really need to go to sleep. I planned tomorrow meals, Im under 400kcal and I'll try to burn at least 1000, but I want to try and skip lunch, telling mom I still dont feel good and I prefer just some tea. I should be really cool to stay lower than the plan. I checked the scale and the number was so disgusting.

I hope to sleep good.

12:57 pm

I struggled to fall asleep but this morning mom fell in my lie and I will skip lunch. I just get up, Im not sure I will exercise today since my brother will be at home all the time but I can walk at least. Yesterday I found spatzle at the store (ifk how many type of them exist but those have 157kcal x 100g so they are better than pasta) so Idk if I'll eat those or just some veggies. During the afternoon I want to try some chips (87kcal x 20g, the entire bag) but I'll wait, rn Im not hugry and if I will not crave them too much I will just eat them tomorrow. Yesterday I started my fast at 8:44pm, so I can do 20h for sure.

Im scared of the scale rn, I feel really bloated. I have a counter for my no-binge streak, yesterday I ate more but it was not a real binge, since I just picked fruit that I was not supposed to eat and added a piece of bread for my soup. I consider binging when I lost control so I think I will not reset the streak.

2:05 pm

Had my tea, it just made me feel nauseous again. I said to mom that maybe this is caused by me eating more that I planned but she took it "well" since anxiety already made me eat like nothing for a week some years ago. We have a lot of veggies at home so I can eat only them at dinner (at this point I want to avoid the chips) but I was thinking about no eating at dinner too, like, faking to eat a couple of bites and then said Im so nauseous again and just fast until tomorrow. If Im really hungry I can eat the veggies, Im just thinking about all the options.

Mom is going out so its time to walk!

4:12 pm

Burned 200kcal walking, mom sent a message asking how Im feeling and I told her I tried to eat a rice cake but the nausea still come back. At this point I can reach 40h with my fast, It will be over exactly for tomorrow lunch so... maybe...

Even if the nausea will go away I think I'll fake it until the weekend so I have an excuse for eat less.

6:01 pm

Thought about yesterday dinner and my stomach just sent another nausea wave, bitch wth. I talked with mom and she said that I should eat if and what I want, so I'll try to drink some tea for dinner and well, fake to try a biscuit. Tomorrow she's not be here for lunch so I can trick my brother too, so I can extend my fast until dinner if I want because for when she'll be back I'll just say I ate something, and then I'll eat veggies and one or two rice cakes for dinner. This sounds good. Later I'll go out for a walk with my dogs so I'll burn some calories again, and then after everyone went to sleep I can do the same.

8:08 pm

Mom told me that tomorrow she wants to go out for a couple of commissions and Im supposed to drive but uh, after over a day of fasting? Idk bro this looks like a mistake :') I'll try to find an excuse.

9:12 pm

Tricked everyone for dinner, I think I'll just reach lunch time tomorrow and then decide if I feel to continue the fast since I'm already tempted to stop. Wathever I'll decide, Im gonna cook some cucumbers and peppers in a pan an eat one or two rice cakes, or the rice cakes and some light cheese. I can fake a lunch without wasting food since no one will check in the fridge and no one eat rice cakes here, just me.

Maybe Im gonna walk later :')

10:23 pm

Stepped on the scale and holy shit. I hope its just water. I was doing good, its not possible that this is real weight. I just want to cry.

10:57 pm

Yook a long shower, Im incredibly bloated and I dont want to look ay myself.

It makes sense that maybe my body is holding water because im not eating at all? And I ate more than usual last time I did? Nvm dont mind me, Im just exausted and I want to sleep.

12:20 am

I cant sleep and I feel hungry and nauseous at the same time, wth...

#ana #proana #thinspiration #thinspo #thin #skinny #ed

[dame-mas-princesa]

ELECTRA HEART BY MARINA

1.) BUBBLEGUM BITCH

“Oh, dear diary, we fell apart. Welcome to the life of Electra Heart”

i cannot express to you how much i LOVE this album. it follows the life of electra heart and has many themes the main one being identity. even though this song says i’m YOUR bubblegum bitch it’s not even in a submissive way. it’s like i’m YOURS and you have no choice about it. this is a GREAT intro song to the roller coaster of a story we are about to follow.

2.) PRIMADONNA

“Get what I want 'cause I ask for it. Not because I'm really that deserving of it”

this is what i wanted, want, and will want to be. this is “BIG EGO!! BIG PERSONALITY!! ME ME ME ME!! ITS ALL ABOUT ME!!” the beginning of what will be a down fall which she references in “the primadonna life, the rise and fall” i didn’t give too much on what it means cause honestly with this album she is pretty straightforward and you can just tell what she is trying to convey. this song is a mf BANGER 10/10

3.) LIES

“You're too proud to say that you made a mistake. You're a coward till the end”

now we get into the deep shit. this song i fucking SCREAMED cried to. this reminds me of mitskis songs when it refers to not wanting to think of the bad when you know it’s hurting you. this is like the step after that. you are STILL trying to bargain but you also acknowledge that the person is an asshole. when i cried to this song, i really never thought i’d one day relate to it but. yeah. pretending that a relationship is going well is not a good solution.

4.) HOMEWREAKER

“I'm the image of deception”

again, electra heart is a story album. you are following a chain of events (she has music videos of them). in this song she talks about how all you want is trust, love, and laughter but you can’t escape the past. the relationship from the past three songs is what caused electra heart (the protagonist of this story) to start seeking revenge in hopes to have a brand new start. she is only happy ‘when i’m on the run’ she is only happy when she isn’t attached to that previous relationship.

5.) STARRING ROLE

“When you are not a starring role in someone else's heart”

oh but electra is still OBSESSED with the past relationship. this song goes well with the events of lies. the feeling of only being loved when you’re having sex or drunk. i also used to cry to this a lot. i have a horrible relationship with getting possessive and if i don’t get that main attention, i feel EXTREMELY upset. “you don’t love me, not a big deal. i’ll never tell you how i feel” just !!!!!!! it’s EXACTLY how i feel in regards to relationships. “sometimes i ignore you, so i feel in control. cause really i adore you and i can’t leave you alone.” as well. this song is just has mari written all over it.

6.) THE STATE OF DREAMING

“Yeah, I've been living in the state of dreaming. Living in a make-believe land”

THE EPITOME OF LIVING IN YOUR MADE UP SCENARIOS!!! this song is JUST THAT!!! living in a world that you have created because people can be so cruel and life is just hard. it isn’t real!! fuck that!!!!! this goes along with the wanting to live in a pretend world/ relationship.

7.) POWER AND CONTROL

“Think you're funny, think you're smart. Think you're gonna break my heart”

#girlbossmoment but like fr this is straight up “you have no power OR control over me” this also goes with sexist ideas that men have control over women and that women are weak. she states that all her life she has been controlled. BY MEN. jk idk,,, ANYWAYS yeah it’s the giving a little and expecting a lot because you are a man. ���you may be good looking but you aren’t a piece of art” yes you might be a good person but you aren’t worthy of everything without a price. you can’t just stand there and expect everyone to admire you???

8.) SEX YEAH

“All this time was fighting for what I believe. All my life I've tried to hide what history has given me”

YEAHHH FUCKING BANGERRRR. i totally forgot this song existed. this song really talks about how history (mainly sexuality) has impacted us. women are seen as always submissive and used for sex and such BUT THERE IS SO MUCH MORE THAT THEY DONT TEACH YOU!!! historically women serve men but no longer BABES!! fight what history has given you!! the thought of what a woman SHOULD be. FUCK YEAHHH FEMINISM

9.) TEEN IDLE

“Ain't youth meant to be beautiful?”

undoubtedly marina’s most popular song. covers many topics such as su1*1de (gonna use ‘scd’ when referring to it) and eds. she wish she was the beauty standard, she wished she would’ve been a prom queen. she wish she had lived that ideal life of a teenager, a teen IDOL. never thought that one day I’D be sixteen and feeling super, super, super scd-al. she talks about her regrets of her adolescence. i should’ve taken this as a warning but it’s not done yet. we continue.

10.) VALLEY OF THE DOLLS

“Born with a void hard to destroy with love or hope”

she is living with identities that do not belong to her. this song basically covers how it is to adapt to each person. she is faking the person that she shows to everyone because in reality she feels like no one. there is a permanent void that cannot be filled with love or hope. she says “i am ready for the last hurrah” which y’all know is referring to death. she is not saying she wants it but that she is ready. she feels empty, there is nothing to preserve. not even herself because, once again, she doesn’t even know herself.

11.) HYPOCRATES

“So hypocritical, overly cynical. I'm sick and tired of all your preaching.”

this song i sadly relate to. someone you love preaching to you how you should do and what you shouldn’t be doing. telling you who to be!! though, i fall guilty to this as well. this song just resonates with one point of my life very well. someone telling you what you should and shouldn’t be and believing that they did no wrong. sigh, BUT all is good.

12.) HOW TO BE A HEARTBREAKER

nvm this is marinas most popular song. honestly. not many thoughts though i strive to one day be able to follow these rules hehehhehehehehehehehhehehehehe

13.) RADIOACTIVE

“Oh baby I want you to die for, for you to die for my love”

this song has mari written all over it too. this is “be obsessed with me” song. your heart is full at night and empty by the morning, you NEED ME. this is also the bad type of be obsessed with me. this is like be obsessed with me so that i can burn you. this is why her love is radioactive. burn to a crisp fuckerrrrr!! though at the end of the song she states “ready to be let down. ready for a meltdown” big uh oh

14.) FEAR AND LOATHING

“Baby you don't have to live your life in fear”

this is more of a recovery song from the meltdown from before. this is a song talking about you don’t have to live in your fears or IN FEAR of being hurt. you don’t need to feel anything really. this leads to numbness. she references her other songs “i’m tired of trying to having it all and ending up with not much at all” (power and control, starring role) she also states a sense of hope when she says “i know a light will burn on when they blow me out” there is that fiery hope deep inside her. i feel like this song really feels like a message to death or about death?

that’s the end. this album is GREAT and to really understand it you GOTTA follow along with the music videos that are made in parts so you know which follows what. 10/10 might do froot next

[thecrenellations]

Return of the Thief Notes, Part One: The Book of Pheris, Volume I

Notes from my first read, October 2020. (Part Two | Part Three | TaT)

Contents:  "So, so, so” watch, Costis watch, swearing, trashing the king’s attendants, being objectively wrong, boundless enthusiasm and love 

I promise I’ve had more developed thoughts since these often incoherent ones, but I’ve enjoyed having these notes to refer to - for sentimental reasons and for  entertainment, so here they are, for others who enjoy liveblogs and/or being whisked back in time to their first read of this wonderful book.

Format: Page number. My thoughts (Context?)

Dedication, Table of Contents, Exordium:

There it is – to Sounis

Exordium – vocab #1

Interregnum?!? Alyta?

Pheris!!!

Yeah I love him from the first page

MOIRA

MOCKING COMMENTS HELP! Gen lives!

A new level of unreliable narrator

Moira, messages of Gods, Pheris, messages of __

Wtf is going on in this study? A zoo?

high king vs great king vs annux?

okie dokie dude

Chapter 1

1. Susa – Costis

2. Infirmity – who gets to be hero/tell story (I started reading right after the book launch, in which mwt spent some time talking about her writing influences and decisions connect to this question - Pheris isn’t her first disabled protagonist and storyteller, of course, but it was lovely to meet him properly directly after hearing her talk about it. Book launch foreshadowing part 1...)

Melisande?

Is this why he wasn’t taught to read?

3. Always the summer

Bees!

4. Hunting cat… hm…

Ok … shrine … 😬

5. Once again we start with a disaster or having to flee

Which Eugenides precipitated

Bite!

Little monster :(

6. Falling…

:(

7. :( :( :(

His purpose? D:

8. YIKES

Chapter 2

9. Hello there! (Gen!)

Massive chair?

10. CRACKED WATER JUG (amphora motif???)

11. Triangle from seal!

Gen that’s rude to Pheris :( (“He will fit in very well with my attendants”)

Wait. This must have happened before ACoK! (nope)

12. :(

Xikander … never made an impression before

How old is Pheris? (lol)

13. Philologos come thru!

Royal closet reappears!

14. Hello weird secondhand scene!

He is Eugenides

Marina…

15. Petrus? GALEN? OH SHIT! 

Is this why Galen was called? (nope)

16. Hell yea Petrus

Miras’ golden balls oh no

All these previously unnamed sucky attendants!

17. Ula – goddess of hearth and healing

Ok … Galen … or a god? Eugenides????? (why did these options occur to me before Mr. Shows Up At Your Bedside At Night himself)

18. Finally the attendant floor plans I crave + hunting scenes!

19. EXCUSE ME he slept through Sounis + Eddis wedding!!!

Again – high king!

20. So Ion is beautiful … hmm.

Yeah … Sejanus has facets. I like it.

21. Clearly no one would know what king would do … lol

Don’t mind me just sorting the attendants on a spectrum of awfulness!!!

22. SO SO SO – ION!!!!!

How many fucking attendants are there and how many are on my hit list!

Is “the necessaries” bathrooms or like … him stealing? (just the bathrooms ... the Gen-Pheris parallels were really getting to me at this point)

:(

23. OH MY GOD THE UNIFIED CREST

Also … frogs. Frogs.

24. Big day for Gen huh

Definitely an aura of Something as he writes about Gen

25. HELLO EVERYONE

26. Sorry Kamet, Pheris does the physical descriptions better. They’re beautiful

I’m blacking out at Eddis and Sounis

27. Jesus Christ. The bear.

Cousin time!

Under the table is the new up on the roof!

Uh… twin imagery ….

Gen’s feet!

Jesus. The matching

28. Cleon … wtf? A cousin?

A trial for Sophos?

Show! Us! Sophos’s! Shoes!

29. If u throw things out the air shaft you might hit the king

Was it a chicken?

Lol nvm the guy at night is Gen. That is … very sweet

- Showing up at night

- Accent

- Complaining about Petrus

- Swearing

- One hand

I am judging Costis and Sophos for not describing the paneling in Gen’s room!

Chapter 3

30. Was it a chicken?

An earring huh, good hand huh

31. Literally screaming “NO!” at Gen. Don’t joke about dying! I am killed by Gen on annux day. This is. My boy. Yes he is perfect. Yes he will refuse to get up. I love him. I died on page 31

Philologos is still the best of them

32. Dancing bear indeed

Always the powdered gold

Ruby!!!!! <3

Aww a smile!!! <3

Pheris he likes you!

33. They both love invisibility and lost it … I cry

Erupt like the sacred mountain excuse me!

OR WORSE return to bed! Lol

34. He’s Eugenides when he’s talking to Attolia

Ouch hero talk

! from Irene!

My queen!

Hey Phresine!

They way we do <3 he’s hating it but he’s so comfortable with her

Sister and bro mention! C’mon!

I love them

EYEBROW

35. Honestly that’s a yes (“I have no idea what you mean, my queen”)

It’s so cute they hang out in the morning … like how long was it even since they’ve seen each other lol

:( tough walk for Pheris

Is it prophecy time?

Lol how long does this construction take?!

Also … she’s pregnant, huh? but no one knows (nope)

Is befriending someone weaponized as a prank count for Gen’s enemies to friends list?

Also SHOW ME the magus. I know he’s here!

36. Pheris excuse me, why not recreate this!

Lol cast off language of history indeed

Feel the thrum of the goddess!

EXCUSE ME… a minor goddess? Mystery goddess? Or Philia?

Oh Gen

37. Well, Gen, someone is having a worse day than you.

Damn, how far we come.

Aww Sounis, babe, I love you and so does Gen

[drawing of the four of them sitting in a row]

38. Artadorus???? Pomegranate?

39. HEIRO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A friend! Also lol. Two smiles, for Pheris and Heiro..

40. Yesss Melheret joke in action.

Costis has left tho right?

Jesus, Melheret

SHE GAVE HIM A HORSE (I COULD NOT DEAL with this entire conversation, but then again I could not deal with this whole book.)

41. I love them all so much

“on that horse, you will look like a king” I can’t with her sense of humor

He sure did say that

I feel like I’m missing something with the fight on foot thing … remembering battles?

Helen called him Gen!

Sophos stop talking about yourself and bringing apricots into everything lol

Lol these bystanders don’t know how lucky they are. Nor does Pheris, yet

42. She’s protecting him

Also … Gen … you didn’t want to be a soldier.

43. Guards have capes

2 startled men … hm …

Oh Gen. The fucking brutal echoes…

44. :( :( :(

Gen tell your wife you’re sick!

The attendants are so dumb

45. So, so, so :(

Tell who? Petrus?

Wink!

Yes?

46. Bleeding! Salt! Lemon! Heck no! What is he, a piece of meat?

Oranges?

47. “savoring each bite as if it were my last” ... Same … but with this book

Hmm… Alyta! Goddess of the gentle rain! (despite this “hmm,” I did not put the pieces together)

48. Oh no Teleus! And someone?

Aw he realized <3 lemon water

49. Gen eat your broth lol

50. I love them.

Ion’s really trying to make up for what he did that one time

51. Without the approval of the great goddess HAHAHA

I love them. Cousin time! Growl?

Idk whether or not to be reassured, Gen.

Wow Cleon I do not like that. Also didn’t he die? (...)

Comma (“I am not, Eddis”)

Go smack him!

52. Gen I love you.

Helen I love you.

He’s so bad at self care but I love him

Chapter 4

55. love that our narrator just disappears and reappears

56. Attolia’s brother’s bedroom? Yikes. Ominous. A detail in a story we’ve already gotten, different every time <3

57. fucking attendants. 3 good ones. Medander you were beneath Costis’s notice before but I hate you. Costis didn’t have time for you or Xikos or Xikander and nor do I

58. interesting pawn talk!!!

59. <3 Pheris :(

The Gen comparisons though

:( :( :( :(

60. flamboyance <3

Cemphora bush

Bees

61. I love him

62. I love them

Also lol “Your majesty?”

63. Name … hm … (“I have deliberately omitted [my tutor’s] name here”)

64. more twin imagery I swear

WAIT … it was his birthday! Not just Annux day?!! Gen was born in late summer???

Attendant list thank you

65. laying it all out there, huh … (that one Gen quote)

Lol they’re the same but Pheris likes horses

66. Insellia! Hello nice to meet you

67. Gen that’s mean. (“He is hardly even half of one.”)

68. Coleus leves???

“I am Eugenides.” <3

Gen why

69. Gold cups???? Hmmmmm. Also lioness. Def invoking Costis. (they’re probably not the cups, but STILL)

Earth….

70. Moira! Hi!!! Rainbow shawl!

Like a rabbit!

Pester!

I’m … very sad he uses his Attolian accent with Helen

71. Aaah so good

Mortals

Moira knows another messenger?

Does he think he can’t die in battle?

72. hmm are they WRANGLING?! (Galen and Petrus and my Fire and Hemlock word association)

Kill that pastry Irene I love you

morning training with his … guard? (Is that the whole guard or a guard? Costis senses tingling once again.)

73. Oh gen.

Ouch! (“to send people to their deaths and not risk my own is contemptible”)

Is she implying he’s paying Therespides?

74. Interesting Cleon plan. So many doubles

OUCH. (“Only if he comes back from the dead.” I assumed Lader had died in the war; it’s a different ouch now. I love that they both accidentally say things to each other that poke old wounds, and it’s not a big deal but it’s also not dismissed! Their relationship has come so far, and I love them so much.)

75. Verimius – Lavia – Celia??? Somebody is queer in there!

A GUARD

This scene confuses me. Xortix? Layteres? Aris! but dice thing is less political … so maybe? (just wait....)

76. So many reasons to hate Medander

Hey Costis! You exist! KoA happened!

Gen is just … still so uncomfortable and miserable. He chose, he has people, but still.

RIP Clopius also WHAT

77. Lol Hilarion’s grand statements

78. Yorn Fordad Hello!

Luxurious mustache

The mighty Pents?

Besin Quedue – she’s coming 4 you watch out

79. RIP Baron Hippias

Chapter 5

80. Spring! Plays! Cenna!

81. Oh dear

Oh dear

At least they said he was pretty

83. ?!? :( wine

Uh oh. Stockpiling

85. What even.

AAAAAAAAAH COSTIS

86. Omg Irene. Hissing. I love her.

Also … Gen’s the viper

Also this scene was written by Pheris.

Damn.

87. oh no.

What better man

She fucking quoted Howl. I love them.

Also, bees (this scene killed me)

90. Falling?

Oh shit

Also … Juridius and Pheris, Susa and Costis (comparing demands for information)

93. oh my god (IT’S THE WINDOW SCENE)

Oh my god

Uh

94. She! Called! Him! Gen!

I love this and it scares me

Lol Chloe

Irene you learned from her though

95. D:

96. :(

97. water stuff

98. what the heck

OH NO (Quedue scene)

Hm

100. yikes

Omg

Wow.

102. yikes yikes YIKES

103. a blade has protruded from his chest (tbt to The Thief)

jesus

106. shit

Did Gen hit him?

108. lol Phresine

109. lol

I want genuinely every character’s reaction to this shit

Chapter 6

111. what the heck Gen.

112. like a god [crown doodle]

114. Perma?

116. Gen. Gen. Gen. Do not.

117. AAAA (god intervention)

122. Juridius to Dite

124. bye Iolanthe and Ileia! Tell us about Caeta and Silla.

125. did not expect so much Ion

Chapter 7

127. Fryst god of winter

She laughed!

They’re so married

128. OH SHIT (Costis ship is sighted and I remember what’s about to happen next)

Interesting timing

He rode the horse home?

131. Beauty and good, beauty and kind

134. The gods’ goodwill

Keep them safe <3

135. Is that his MOM?!! Wtf (it was!)

Pheris steal those earrings!!!

RING! SMASH BOX!

137. AMPHORA EARRINGS (and flowers)

138. I love Phresine

139. Why do I feel like all the game birds are pigeons

140. meanwhile Gen’s been hanging out with Kamet. Shit. I cannot.

WELCOME HOME BOYS!

HELL YEAH KAMET ATTEND THOSE MEETINGS!

RELIUS COME THRU

141. lethium soup! The reversal

Safe for you

142. of course he knew <3

143. Kamet time! I love him. We get to see Kamet!!!

Also … echo of Gen’s notes on Mede

145. very handsome. … gaycostis vindication (referring to @costis’s url at the time and this post. Little did I know what else was to come in the next chapter and then a few months later with the adaptation news...)

Do you know who I am?

Chapter 8

147. Of course he’s a cartographer

A favorite huh

148. of course she didn’t tell us his age!

149. the angsty window staring I crave

Music!

151. adventure, huh

I do have a soft spot for Melheret

152. concerned about amphora gift

153. Glad they can be well and united in spite!! (Gen and Melheret)

154. Pheris loves math and I love him

155. Hello Teleus. Hello olives

Lol Relius is not into math

156. pigeons. Inkpot!

157. yeah honestly. He tortures people. He was NOT tortured by the king

159. lol (“I have noted the elective nature of certain behaviors” ... I love Relius and Pheris.)

160. The Invitation! I <3 it

161. EXCUSE ME WHO

Legarus!

FOLKS HERE WE ARE (I cannot overstate how wonderful it was to read this page. I did not know who the poem was from, and “Someone loves me very much, even with all my faults” is even sweeter to reread, but it’s just ... his confidence is so different from the tentative consideration of a new philosophy of trust and love we see in KoA. And there is subtextual queerness in the books before this one, some more apparent and some more subtle (and what is obvious to one reader may be subtle or invisible to another, in these books especially), and there is the attendant love triangle a few chapters back, but HERE - here, Pheris acknowledges the real feeling and love in Legarus’s disastrous relationship and tells us directly that his lover was a man, here he seamlessly makes it clear how bi and poly Relius is, and he quietly ties these relationships and realities to his growing understanding of the world. It’s not subtext. And there’s a lot more to come, but this page really hit me, and sort of promised the “more to come” while assuring me that what had come before, more subtly, was there. I used to have heteronormative readings of both these books and myself, and when Thick as Thieves brought them crashing back into my heart after years away, I knew better about myself, and I saw that - or the possibility of that reading -  reflected in the new book, and it was such a good surprise. It meant a lot, and this page meant a lot, and that is why I’m writing a small essay to accompany this note.) 

Lol wow

162. Where are you traveling, man (this question remains)

163. Fuck you, Orutus

164. Stole an inkpot!

165. the map!!! (Kamet’s)

166. I love them!

167. The Math Master hmm

Am I an oracle (Nope! :) )

#there is SOME context #and some rambling #but i'm sure some of it doesn't make sense so i'm very up for explaining anything #return of the thief #the queen's thief #mwt #something i #rott spoilers #return of the thief spoilers

[letsperaltiago]

a calm surrender to the rush of day

Jake’s had a few too many beers when he’s sent back home to Amy and his still relatively new son. It’s all good and cute, promise. Peak domestic Peraltiago. This oneshot is based on a prompt on this list.

#98: "I think we should have another"

Read on AO3 here

Amy was fast asleep in their bedroom when the sudden sound of the front door lock clicking and shifting followed by a half-hearted slam jolted her awake. For a very brief second, with her heart galloping in her chest as a result of the shock, Amy was utterly disoriented and the uneasy feeling was definitely not peculiar when you happened to live in a city that was ranked way too high on the Top 10 Most Dangerous Cities in America – a club she did not particularly enjoy being a part of. Although, as fast as it had encased her body to begin with, the shock quickly wore off the second she heard shifting and rumbling paired with a “shit” coming from what she figured out must’ve been the living room.

Jake, she realized, suddenly remembering why he wasn’t currently beside her in bed but rather out with some friends from the academy – or, at least, was.

In an attempt to put the final puzzle pieces in place she leaned over to grab her phone wondering how long he’d out and about for. The time revealed itself across her lock screen picture of Jake, fast asleep on their couch a few days after their son’s arrival with said son resting beneath his hands and on his chest. 3:11 AM – no wonder why she could barely keep her eyes open. There was a second of wondering if she should just turn over, go back to sleep and let Jake come join her whenever he was ready, but something else on the screen caught her eye before she could ultimately decide on doing so: 3 texts from Rosa with the last being from around 30 minutes prior.

Rosa Diaz – 12:39 PM Dude, Jake is horrible. He won’t shut up about you and the baby and for some reason the other guys from the academy seem to be eating it up. I hate it. What have you done to him?

Rosa Diaz – 1:56 AM Nvm. I take it back. He just paid a second round of beers to celebrate, and I quote, “His miracle baby”. Please get pregnant more. Means more free booze.

Rosa Diaz – 2:47 AM Def spoke too soon. He just threw up at my feet. We’re waiting outside the bar for his cab. I’m sending him home to you. Texts me when he gets there. Also: good luck lol. He’s stupid drunk.

Almost as if Jake had read the text as well, as to emphasize its point, Amy could hear him stumble into the bathroom across the hall to, what she chose to believe, grab his toothbrush but instead knocking over the glass holding it generating a loud commotion which tore throughout the entire apartment.

Amy’s head immediately as per instinct shot in the direction of her 3-month old’s crib, which stood against the wall on her side just a few feet away. Apart from the limited amount of Catholic traditions she’d grown up with living with her parents she wasn’t particularly religious, but right then and there she internally prayed that her son, who she’d spent an hour getting back to sleep just 3 hours ago, wasn’t woken up by her father’s drunken circus. She held her breath as a few, way too long seconds went by: no cry. Amy’s chest dropped in relief.

Moments like these were tiny victories that she as a brand new first-time mom held onto for dear life. In general, though she had nothing to compare to, her little boy wasn’t a particularly difficult baby but the past few days had been a bit rough on the little family: rough to the point where Amy had to push Jake out the door earlier that evening because he didn’t want to leave her behind with a fussy baby. But, more than ever before, Amy was confident, telling him it would be a waste for him to stay home and miss out on some fun; he should go out and she’d be fine. He’d ended up going. Although it was borderline against his will with half-worried eyes that Jake had crossed the threshold to exit their apartment, while repeating over and over again that she could and should call him if things turned out to be too much: he’d grab the first cab he saw back home.

Amy loved this considerate and worried side of Jake but it also turned out to be quiet unnecessary that night. Besides the hour from hell of fussiness at midnight, the evening alone with her son had gone by pretty smoothly – she’d actually made quite an enjoyable experience out of it. First of all, right after he’d had left, Amy ate the dinner Jake had prepared for her in advance on the couch with Flynn lying next to her in his little nest, talking and admiring his small sounds and smiles. God, she loved him so much and there was no TV-show or movie in the world that could beat the incredible sight of her son clumsily waving around his tiny legs and arms in his green pajama-onesie. Then, after bathing and changing him, she’d fed him to make sure he was completely ready for bed and by 8 PM she was silently smiling down at, admiring, her very own tiny sleeping human as he dozed off in his crib. Losing track of time was incredibly easy these days, both from the lack of sleep but also the huge amount of love for said little human, but after making sure (for the 32nd time) that Flynn was well asleep Amy had, trusty baby monitor in hand, retreated to the living room. There, with a tiny glass of white wine in hand, she’d managed to finish today’s The Times’ crossword puzzle - something Flynn had interrupted a couple of times that day – before she’d felt an inevitable wave of tiredness creep up on her. Once ready, having gone through her own routine plus checking up on the, to her pride and joy, still sleeping baby, Amy went to bed where she’d slept peacefully until her son had claimed her attention a few hours later. So even though Jake was her favorite person to hang out with, her evening had been great and, all in all, she wouldn’t mind doing it again  

Now here she was once again awake although this time it was not her baby causing the distraction from sleeping but rather her apparently very drunk husband stumbling around the bathroom. The fact that he hadn’t been loud enough to wake up their son had probably (for sure) helped, but also, Amy couldn’t be mad at Jake when she’d been the one to basically force him to go out and have fun. So, after giving up on falling back asleep figuring it’d be hopeless with Jake stumbling around the apartment, she instead took matters into her own hands and made her way to the bathroom. Here, to her amusement, the sight of her rather nicely dressed husband, unruly curls spilling onto his forehead, was barely able to stay awake and standing upright while brushing his teeth.

“Hey there,” she leaned her hip against the door frame before crossing her arms in front of her chest adding to it a teasing smile.

“Oh god!” from the way he almost choked on his tooth brush, Jake was obviously startled by her sudden appearance but quickly avoided choking with a sad attempt at smooth recovery by clumsily spitting the toothpaste into the sink getting it all over his lips in the process.  “I’m szo szo szorry,” the words tumbled from his mouth much like she imagined he’d tripped and fallen over various furniture and items on his way into the apartment just a few moments ago. “Dridn’t mean tro wake you.”

“Well…” she shrugged nonchalantly not really minding mostly because drunk Jake was a hilarious mess she’d missed during their pregnancy, but also partly because she knew he’d be paying the painful price in the morning. “You did.”

Immediately, as if he was a puppy whose tail had just accidentally been stepped on, Jake’s previously insouciant demeanor switched into a intoxicated version of his famous worried frown. Though the second she could tell panic was forming in his drunkenly fatigued eyes, she was quick to step in and avoid guilting him.

“But it’s okay,” her tired but nonetheless somehow always warm eyes worked their best to comfort him, hip nudging her off the doorframe and into a short journey to where her husband had shifted into a leaning position with his back against the sink, toothbrush desperately hanging from the left side of his mouth. His eyes, though dazed and barely able to stay open, followed her every move towards him closely but he was still startled when she’d come close enough for him to feel her breath on him and had sassily snagged the dangling toothbrush out of his mouth (careful to not hurt him in the process, of course).  

“As long as you don’t wake up your son,” she raised an eyebrow daringly only to be met by a shocked expression that told her he still wasn’t entirely over that bold toothbrush-move of hers, and was just barely managing to listen to what she was saying solely because of the mention of Flynn. He knew that the baby was an angel (duh, he was his and Amy’s creation) yet Jake was also very much in touch with reality which was that said son also hadn’t managed to sleep through the night yet (which according to his go-to parenting book Cry Hard was normal). Therefor even drunk Jake also knew that every second his son was asleep was to be handled as carefully as you would a bomb, and the mention of him possibly waking him up was enough to sober him up – or at the very least have him feel like it for a second.

“Luckily,” Amy proceeded, placing her hands on his chest before sliding them up to rest on his shoulders, “you didn’t.”

Paired with a heavy sigh, as if he’d been holding his breath in suspense, she instantly felt his shoulders drop in relief. Needless to say that Amy loved the way her husband cared greatly about his new father-role. Sometimes to the point where Jake, very unnecessarily, would push himself down an endless rabbit hole of doubt, where he, Amy had come to find out relatively early on, could only be calmed down by her ordering him to go lie down and so she could place tiny Flynn on his (incredible) father’s chest. Only then, with his son looking up at him with curious brown eyes or even just being fast asleep, Jake could feel his heart rate slow down significantly and the anxiety fade. His son was here on his chest, tiny heartbeat against his big one and they were both okay. It was love and that was all that mattered.

So yes, Jake’s father-role was very important to both him and her, but for tonight, Amy quickly decided, Jake was allowed to be just drunk-Jake. She had no problem taking full responsibility for Flynn-duty that night, and, even though neither of them kept scores or cared about the unspoken tally, she also knew Jake would make it up to her another night.

“So Flynni iz ztill azleep?” Jake whispered loudly not actually managing to control his voice as intended. His sluggish, wondering eyes reminded Amy of the look on her milk-drunk 3-month old’s face right after a feeding which made it even more obvious that Flynn Peralta was very much her father’s son and would grow up to be an exact copy.  

“Yes, Flynni,” she giggled emphasizing the nickname her husband had come up with, “is still very much asleep. But he won’t be for much longer if you don’t quiet down,” her hands slid up Jake’s neck to cradle his jaw, his tooth brush still in her hand.

“Zorry,” he smiled sheepishly actually managing to whisper this time. “You’re ze bestest mom in ze attire world, Amy Zantriago.”

“Hm,” she squinted her eyes jokingly, “maybe I should just put back that tooth brush because now you’re just talking crazy.”

“Nooo,” the whine that escaped her husband was childish as he simultaneously pulled her in for a clumsy, giggly kiss that’d cover her mouth in his toothpaste remains – unsurprisingly, drunk-Jake was not a very precise tooth brusher and had a toddler’s amount of basic skills. “Ze only crayzay here is me. Crayazay ‘bout my WIFE!” unable to control himself he half-yelled out the last word causing Amy to make a quick decision and shove the toothbrush back into his mouth. This, besides yet another surprised and confused expression greeting her, seemed to work and would hopefully keep him quiet till he made it to bed where he could pass out.

“Hush, Peralta,” and he immediately did. He knew his always very convincing wife only had good intentions (which making sure their son stayed asleep ultimately was) and whilst she picked up where he’d left of to finish brushing his teeth for him he, like the inner toddler the alcohol ignited in him, stayed put against the sink.

A few minutes later, still managing to stay somewhat silent (apart from constantly trying to whisper sweet nothings and stupidities into her ear meanwhile she struggled to brush his teeth and wash his face) Amy lead Jake to their bedroom which, for once, was for unsexy reasonz (with a z, yes). Immediately as soon as it was within what his drunk brain considered a safe distance, Jake’s body caved and dropped to the soft welcoming surface of their bed. Amy quickly figured that it was probably for the best and she should take advantage of Jake finally staying still, meaning she carefully started undressing him, and it had seemed that he was passed out right up until she popped the third button of his flannel and his eyes shot open along with a sneaky smirk.

“Amez, Iz tonight zhe night that we become PILFs?”

Amy frowned as she reached the last button and then pushed the flannel off of his torso. “PILFs?” She wordlessly prompted him to sit up as to allow her to remove the flannel entirely only to be followed by his undershirt being lifted off via his head – something she’d done a million times before but most cases being for other reasons.

“Parentz I’d Like To Frick,” he smiled in appreciation at his own genius invention before stealing a kiss when Amy happened to be close enough to reach by simply leaning in a bit. It did earn him a small giggle like he wished but then also a light shove back.

“Stop that and help me instead, would you?” She was far from mad at him which he could tell from the way she couldn’t keep an entirely straight face but on the other side of things Amy clearly wasn’t having the easiest time undressing her full grown husband either. Suddenly the task that was changing Flynn 7 times a day was put into a quite interesting perspective: a perspective she didn’t necessarily need.

And so, feeling that his wife was doing all the hard work, he helped. It might’ve taken him 5 minutes to pop open and zip down his jeans, but he succeeded and it was with way too much pride that he kicked his jeans off in a madman-ninja manner which resulted in them flying across the room to touchdown by the door. Normally Amy would demand he put them in the laundry bin but for once she couldn’t care less. The pants being off itself was a great victory.

“Nicely done, babe,” she joked trying to ignore the fact that 3 simple tasks had taken them almost 40 minutes by now, prompting her to playfully throw his night shirt in way so it landed on his head. “Now put that on and you’re good to pass out for the night.”

She walked back over to her side of the bed, throwing in a glance at Flynn in his crib to make sure he was still well and asleep, before crawling back under the covers and pushing the part on Jake’s side aside to invite him in.

It was a matter of seconds before he dropped into place but instead of passing out immediately as Amy had expected him to, her husband shuffled across the bed’s invisible center line wordlessly asking for snuggles that Amy, of course, couldn’t decline. She loved that Jake went out and had some fun by himself, although, at the end of the day, nothing would ever beat having him home with her – even if it meant dealing with an all at once incapable and horny man child.

So, by all means, she lifted her arm to welcome him to make himself at home under it, felt his head moving to on top of her chest, before she put it back down in a soft grip around his shoulders. His free arm would then soon enough wrap around her middle earning him a soft peck to the forehead.

“I love you, Amz,” he mumbled tiredly into her shirt.

“I love you too, Jake,” she smiled leaning her cheek against where she’d just planted the kiss.

“And I love our baby. Zo much. I mizzed him all ze night,” he mumbled on the verge of falling asleep.

And while she always did expect it these days, right then and there when she very honestly in the moment least did expect it, a loud cry as if scripted, tore through the darkness of their bedroom. A small sigh escaped her body although she was couldn’t help but smile at the irony of the situation.

“… Sounds like he missed you too, babe.”

“Oh no,” Jake whined basically imitating Flynn to a point where it was scary as Amy scooted out from his snuggle and the newfound warmth of their bed. “I woke him up. I’m zo zo sorry.”

In the meantime Amy had made her way to the crib.

“You didn’t wake him up, honey,” she made sure to reassure Jake of the fact before picking up the tiny crying figure before promptly looking at the time on her night stand, where her suspicion was immediately proved to be right. “It’s 4 AM: he’s just hungry.”

Not many things in this world were sure or certain, but if there was one thing that was then it was definitely Amy’s knowledge when it came to her son’s schedule. Yes, Jake got up with Flynn just as frequently as she did, but contrary to her, Jake didn’t take note of the time and just did what his son demanded without interest in cracking the code to their baby’s life-pattern: as long as he got to care for him and make him happy again, the logistics were somewhat irrelevant to Jake.

“You sure?” he complained nervously questioning his wife as she sat back down in bed with Flynn cradled to her chest.

“Yes, completely.”

With her always being right and all, Jake settled for accepting his wife’s statement quieting down to take in the sight of their son fumbling to find where his mother had lifted up her shirt in order to feed him. Seconds later, like the peace that followed after a huge sky-cracking thunderstorm, silence settled upon the family of three letting the two adult of said family know that Flynn had once again worked out how to still his hunger. Apart from the very faint sounds of suckling, the occasional little pop followed by a wail when he’d lose his mouthful and complain until Amy managed to help him back on track, idyllic silence of the night wrapped up the apartment as if Jake had never interrupted it just an hour prior.

It was in moments like these where Jake became untouchable, completely disregarding any physical or mental state he might be in, and simply gave in to soaking in the faultless felicity parenthood provided him with. He’d never been anything but happy with Amy but this life he’d been living for 3 months now was even better and beyond any imaginable expectations he’d had. Flynn, though being the one who was completely dependent on his father’s care, had given Jake life a renewed meaning he hadn’t known or felt close to before. A meaning he’d originally been so afraid of even considering before he met Amy but had come to realize he wanted with her and only her.

He wanted 4 AM cries. He wanted the sight of Amy, depending on what her energy level was, either dozing off to or actively admiring their son latching onto her swelled chest as he suckled on it. He wanted the rush of pride every time Flynn made a new sound even if it was simply bringing into existence a new pitch when he squealed or whimpered. Jake wanted all and everything, big and small, as long as it was with them.

So of course, as soon as Flynn was placed stomach down on Amy’s chest after being done eating and burped, earning himself a sweet praise when he succeeded, Jake was back to snuggling into his wife’s side. There was no minding sharing her chest with the tiny human as it provided Jake with the perfect combination of cuddling with his wife and the incredible sight of their stupefying son slipping back into a peaceful state of sleepy satisfaction.

“He’s sro prerfect, Amy.”

“I know, babe,” with a hand safely cradling and stroking the back of Flynn’s decently hairy head she mumbled her reply obviously in the early stages of dozing off herself. The other hand, this arm having returned to its spot around Jake, was resting against her husband’s back stroking it in a synchronized motion.  

“Like, he’z like getting ze one exact toy you wanted ze mostest in your Happy Meal as a child.”  

She would laugh out loud at his comparison, finding it incredibly endearing, but she was by then too exhausted and only managed to form a tired smile – also the laughing would cause her chest and then automatically Flynn to quiver which she was not about to dare.

“He really is,” she mumbled.

“I think we shrould have anozer.”

It was easy to tell that the comment was partly genuine and sweet but also partly… intoxicated. Though Amy didn’t doubt the fact that Jake wouldn’t mind more children, she also didn’t doubt the fact that he definitely wouldn’t remember this conversation when he woke up some hours later with a hammering headache and zombie-like state of mind.

“I think I have enough on my hands with you two.”

Yes, she did see them having at least two kids but one newborn was definitely more than enough at the moment, plus  they had plenty of time to consider further additions to the family once Flynn would be older and Jake not completely wasted. Although it was nice to hear some truth about his inner thoughts spill from her drunk husband, there was no doubt in her mind that there was no need to hurry. They would get there eventually and for now they were already so very happy.

She was pulled out of her thoughts by the feeling of Jake’s lips planting a soft, half-sloppy kiss to, first, their son’s head, then, then her neck. Then small movements beneath her hand on Flynn was next, quickly peaking her curiosity and winning over her exhaustion then forcing herself to open her eyes. Immediately feeling glad she did so because she was met by the most heartwarming sight of Jake carefully caressing Flynn’s tiny feet.

“We’re gunna make zo many perfect bebiez, Amy Trivago. Zo many. Like zis one.”

“I’m sure of it, babe,” she gave into one last tired chuckle hoping agreeing would give him the peace he needed to fall asleep. And besides the fact his fingers continuously toyed with the tiny feet, Jake seemed fast asleep a few moments later leaving Amy to soak in the moment, fighting to stay awake just a few more minutes to enjoy how incredibly lucky she was.

There was indeed nothing better than feeling her two favorite boys’ heartbeats against her skin as she herself dove into a deep sleep.

#i'm pretty pleased with this one #both cute and fluffy #domestic peraltiago for days #peraltiago #jake x amy #peraltiago fanfic #jake and amy #jake peralta #amy santiago #baby peraltiago #fanfiction #b99 #Brooklyn Nine-Nine

[procrastilate]

thx

hey, just wanted to pop by with a lil (pft) text post because i am feeling particularly grateful this morning (just realised it’s 12:15 13:15 13:45 nvm) for all of you and for this space.

i wanted to thank you. thank you for welcoming me back into the community in the way that you have since i’ve been back. thank you for continuing to be a constant space of positivity and knowledge on the internet. thank you for every single interaction i’ve had with any of you over the last 4 and a bit years. thank you for everything. the studyblr community isn’t without its faults, but it is overall a wonderful thing, full of wonderful people, and i feel very lucky to have found it and to be a part of it.

the last 4 years haven’t been great for me. i can’t deny that. shit has sucked and shit will continue to suck but, at the same time, these 4 years have likely been the most important years i will ever have and i owe so much to what i have learned because of them. as much as i would prefer that shit hadn’t sucked at all, the understanding i now have of myself is something i could not have lived without. there is nothing i can change about the years i have lost, as much as i beat myself up over it, so i may as well be thankful for what they have given me.

without them, i would never have accepted that i don’t have to hurt myself trying to be something i’m not. i don’t have to be anything other than unapologetically myself. maybe it shouldn’t have taken me 10 years to realise that, but here we are. to care so little about so much pointless shit is such an incredible thing and i think that, without these years, i would have never reached that point. i never would have learned that it’s okay not to care about whether i fit or not. 10 year old me knew fuck-all about most things, but she sure knew how to be me and not care about what other people thought of that. shout out to 10 year old lily.

i know this might not seem relevant to my initial thanks, but i swear it is.

i wanted to thank you, also, for being one of the only places in the last 4 years where i can be myself. i have never felt like i had to be anyone else here. sure, the pressure to produce aEstHetIc pictures is kinda annoying sometimes, but that is a small price to pay. thank you for being a space that promotes growth and learning and positivity. thank you for reinforcing the idea that learning is pretty much the coolest thing ever. thank you for still being here after i repeatedly dissapear and come back. thank you for always giving me something to think about. thank you for your shit posts and rambles and for reacting to my rubbish jokes. thank you.

i still have some stuff to address and deal with personally, but i am hopeful that i have the knowledge and experience to prevent it reaching the points that it has done before. i, at least in part, owe some of that knowledge to all of you here that have allowed me to exist in the way that i have and to you for existing in the way that you have.

please, keep doing what you do. keep learning. keep trying. keep talking to eachother. keep lifting eachother up and supporting eachother. keep being yourselves. keep fighting for things that need fighting for. keep going.

it gets better. i think. i hope. i cannot provide evidence to back that up, but i can say that the chances of something better are >0%, provided you keep going. i can’t tell you that everything’s going to be okay, because i don’t know that and because it’s probably not realistic. things are hard. life is hard. bad things happen. but please, please, keep fighting. a chance of something better is better than none. it’s okay to take breaks or have bad days or have good days. whatever it is you’re dealing with is valid. there is no ‘right’ way to be in pain. there is no ‘right’ way to experience things and it takes time to figure out what that means for you and what you can do to make things easier. there is no rush. take your time. it’s okay to give up, just as long as you can get back up afterwards. just keep getting back up.

maybe not everything’s going to be okay - but if it doesn’t get a bit easier, i will personally issue refunds to all of you.

keep going,

stay safe,

thank you,

liky x

#shut up lily #i am sorry for this post #schist post #stay safe friends x #have a good day #thank you

[phoenixwrites]

Tag game! Answer 9 questions about your writing process, then tag 9 writers whose process you want to know more about. The point of the game is to have fun and get to know other writers. So no pressure! If you get tagged and don’t want to play, don’t worry about it. :)

1. How do you get your story ideas? How do you know when something is worth writing about and when it’s just a fleeting thought or fantasy? Tell us the origin story of one of your past or current WIPs.

No fucking idea.  They just pop in my head, unwanted, unasked for, I AM REFERRING TO YOU, @thestraggletag.

If I can’t stop thinking about it, that’s generally a good sign that I need to be writing it.  For “Hell’s Heresies”, as I was writing the fic version, I kept thinking about what a fun original story it would make.  

For Nolan Jack...I really, really, really missed Neal Cassidy and I really, really, really missed my Grandpa so I decided to combine some ideas.  

2. What are your writing tools of choice? Are you picky? Do you have specific brands you like? If you have neuroses in this department, we want to hear about them.

I will use Microsoft Word until the day I die.  I don’t CARE if Google Docs is better, I don’t CARE what other nonsense comes out, I WILL USE WORD.  *shakes cane at you*

Times New Roman, 12 point font.  I hand-write and scribble notes, but actual story writing I type--I’m an insanely fast typist and that’s the only way to keep up with my thoughts.

3. Where and when do you write? Morning? Dead of night? Your bedroom? The park? Paint us a picture of your usual surroundings when you sit down to write.

WELL I DON’T WRITE AT WORK WHEN I HAVE A SPARE MOMENT, NEVER DO IT, NOPE NOPE NOPE.

I prefer the afternoon and am working towards writing an hour before work too.  But that requires getting up earlier and that has been...a work in progress.

4. Do you ever encounter writer’s block? If so, how do you overcome it? Any tips to pass on to other writers reading this?

I don’t really get writer’s block--I have more problems not procrastinating on what I’m doing.  If I get stuck on something, I’m pretty good about working it out for myself--ask how many times I’ve texted @givemeunicorns and @bookwyrmpendragon and been like “fuck I’m stuck I don’t know how to do this scene” and then they’ll text back a suggestion and I’ll be like “nvm figured it out”.  

I think this is because I’m a plotty writer.  When I write, I go into it having a fairly detailed idea of what I’m going to do.  Obviously, this changes quite a bit, but it does stave off writer’s block.  

Usually the best thing to do when I’m at a rare moment where I don’t know what to write next, I take a shower, wash dishes, take a walk, do some chores, and then something will come to me.

5. Do you outline? If no, why not? If yes, what kind of outlines do you make, and at what point in your writing process do you make them?

I outline for revisions, but not for my first draft.  I’m a visual person, so during revisions it’s helpful for me to have nice little written instructions on what I’m doing.  

But for first drafts, like for Nolan Jack, nah.  

6. Is there anything about your writing process that other people might consider to be unique or weird?

I listen to opera but I don’t know if that’s weird or not.

OH MY WALL.  My wall.  So the wall over my desk at home I usually print out colored photos and charts and maps and things relating to my book.  So for Hell’s Heresies I printed out photos of a house I liked that looked like the haunted house in the book and pasted them on my wall and for Nolan Jack, there are pictures of catfish and riverboats.  

My younger sibling calls it my serial killer wall.

7. When and how do you edit? After the first draft? During? Do you have a method, or is it kind of a free-for-all?

I’m pretty scrupulous about grammar so my first draft is pretty good proofs wise.  I’ll go over it again, then I’ll send it to my mother, who is a MASTER proofer.    

8. Do you ever take breaks from writing? For how long? Do these breaks feel rejuvenating, or do they stress you out? Give us a sense of what life is like when you’re not writing.

I do.  I wish I had the focus and concentration to just WRITE WRITE WRITE like an animal, but my brain doesn’t work like that unfortunately.  I will write for a certain amount of time (I have a timer) then I’ll get up, do a chore, do a row of knitting, etc.  The breaks help me plan for the next scene and what I want my characters to do next.  

I work at an office job so obviously I have to structure things around that.  But it teaches me to be flexible and to pick up quickly after an interruption.

9. When did you first start writing? Why? What’s changed since then, if anything?

I have told myself stories since before I can remember.  I think I came out of the womb creating stories.  I used to act them out with Barbies and Beanie Babies and then I started writing them in journals and moved on to typing them out on our ancient computer.  

I was always absurdly practical as a child--I knew that writing was a risky business and so it was always, “I will be a writer AND a doctor, I will be a writer AND an actress, I will be a writer AND a missionary”.  

But I always knew I wanted to be a writer.

10. Anything else you want to tell us about your writing process?

Write every day.  It’s more habit than anything else.  It’s like running--if you want to be good, to be consistent, just put something on a page.  Even if it sucks.  

#phoenix personal

[phandomsecretvalentines]

(darling don't be afraid) i will love you

Happy late-vday-early-bday @ryn-exe (can’t tag?)!!! Hope u enjoy, soz if it’s not good but i’m not so amazing(phil)

This is 2.1k words. There’s a bit of dream-violence (not in detail) and a lot of anxiety and fear so if u don’t like that stuff!! Tell me!!!! And i’ll write something else for you, i don’t mind. (You didn’t say anything i wasn’t supposed to write but idk). I’d describe this as hurt/comfort i think lmaooo

Basic summery i wrote fo myself: Dan and Phil, and how they deal with each other’s 3am fears (2009 vs 2018, now)

From a pitch-hitter 💓💓

——

[Saturday; 10.26.09; 03:37]

——

Dan<33 (03:37): phil? :[

Phil (03:45): Yrha

Phil (03:47): Sorry!! Yeah**

Phil (03:47): Why are you up so early/late?? I barely woke up

Dan<33 (03:49): sorry i woke you :/

Dan<33 (03:50): my parents went away for a bit and i’m home alone and i cant turn off the lights cuz im too scared

Dan<33 (03:51): and i can’t sleep so bad even hugging pillow cant help mee :[[

Dan<33 (03:52): so im sitting in the hallway with every light im the house on alone in just my pants

Dan<33 (03:52): and i was a idiot and missed you so i woke you up at so late and now ur gonna hate me crap

Dan<33 (03:52): sorry

Phil (03:53): I’ll never ever hate you dan!!! <<33333333333333

Phil (03:53): I’m sorry ur so scared :[[ I wish I was there to be strong and protect u again

Dan<33 (03:54): i wish you were here too

Phil (03:54): :[ <3

Dan<33 (03:58): CDAP PHIL I THINK I HESRF A GHOST

Dan<33 (03:58): IR MONSTER

Dan<33 (03:58): FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

Phil (03:59): Dan oh my gosh are you okay??

Dan<33 (04:00): yeah i think but

Dan<33 (04:00): i heard something phil

Dan<33 (04:01): im scared

Dan<33 (04:02): i can’t believe im 18 and i’m actually sobbing out of fear alone and naked in a hallway over a fucking noise

Dan<33 (04:02): to my boyfriend

Dan<33 (04:02): on skype

Dan<33 (04:03): fuck

Phil (04:03): Dan :[[ i’m so sorry

Dan<33 (04:04): it’s not your fault

Phil (04:04): Want me to call you??? (If u want)

Dan<33 (04:05): can we skype instead?

Dan<33 (04:05): i want to see your face plz <3

Dan<33 (04:05): if thats okay

Phil (04:06): That’s fine! One sec plz :]

——

[Phil would like to add Dan<33 to a call (02:33)]

[Accept] [Decline]

[Accepted]

——

When Dan answered the call, his face was red and puffed and wet. Even through the crap-pixel screen quality, Phil could see that.

“Hey,” Dan’s voice broke.

“Hi,”

Dan was shaking slightly.

His face suddenly flushed, “Oh shit, I forgot – I’m, uh, in only pants. In front of you. Crap.”

“It’s fine, I’ve seen you shirtless before.” Phil smiled what he hoped was reassuringly, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah — I mean, I am now. I guess.”

“Are you cold?”

“Kinda.” Dan admitted.

“Want to go to bed?”

“My room is too dark –”

“Well, I’ll be there, wont I? And I’ll protect you from everything bad in the dark.”

“You’re not really here.”

“Only ever a few hours away. And if worst comes to worst, I have the police line and the monster-killer line. So you’ll be super safe.”

Dan muffled a giggle, “Yeah, okay.”

He shuffled up off the floor, and made his way into his bedroom, clutching the laptop tightly.

“I dunno if I’m getting any sleep tonight, honestly.”

“You will! You can cuddle your pillow and I’ll tell you stories until the demons go away and you can sleep.”

“I’m not five, Phil.” There was no malice in his reply.

“You don’t need to be five for any of that to be true.” Phil said, serious tone.

“Okay,”

Minutes later, Dan was snuggled under his covers; hugging a pillow tightly as he listened to Phil go on about some guy at the market.

“Then, he pulled a hot dog out of his left pocket. Who keeps a single —”

“Phil?” Dan interrupted, his voice was dripping with sleep.

“Mm?”

“Do you think I’m stupid?”

“No.” Phil answered simply.

“I mean – for being so scared of such dumb stuff. Seven-year-olds are braver than me.”

“It’s okay to have fears, Dan. I bet you’re not the only adult with those fears either,”

“I’m scared of the dark. And ghosts and monsters and moths and demons and –”

“– and that’s fine. I don’t mind.”

“And it’s not annoying to deal with? I’m not?”

“You will never be annoying to ‘deal with’; I promise.”

Phil meant it.

——

[Monday; 12.07.09; 02:59]

——

Phil :]]]<333333 (02:59): Dan?

Dan (03:00): yeah??? <3

Phil :]]]<333333 (03:03): I’m scared

Dan (03:04): of what :[[

Phil :]]]<333333 (03:04): I dunno it’s just creaky downstairs and I’m alone for the night I guess

Phil :]]]<333333 (03:04): Nvm

Dan (03:05): no tell me i want to help u

Dan (03:05): plz

Phil :]]]<333333 (03:07): Well it’s just that

Phil :]]]<333333 (03:08): It’s really dark and windy

Phil :]]]<333333 (03:08): And there was a tree snapping against my window I thought our house might’ve blown down

Phil :]]]<333333 (03:09): And I thought i heard thunder which usually isn'tn too bad but right now its scaring me a bit

Phil :]]]<333333 (03:10): I don’t wanna be alone rn is all

Phil :]]]<333333 (03:10): But i am brave! So it’ll be okay i think

Phil :]]]<333333 (03:10): Don’t worry about me <33

Dan (03:11): i want to worry :[

Dan (03:11): you don’t always have to be brave <333 ily and i would give you the biggest hug if i were there

Dan (03:12): and tell the trees and thnder to fuck off and let you sleep

Dan (03:12): and then we would sleep all cuddled up togerher like we do sometimes and it would be warm and nice

Dan (03:14): i wish i were there with you

Phil :]]]<333333 (03:15): You will be someday so it’s okay now too :]

Phil :]]]<333333 (03:15): But plz tell the trees and thunder to fuck off it’s very loud :’[[[

Dan (03:16): if u call me i will????

Phil :]]]<333333 (03:17): Lol okay :p

——

[Incoming call from Dan]

[Accepted]

——

“Hi!” Dan really should be quieter; last time he called Phil at three in the morning his dad had yelled at him.

“Hi,” Phil’s sleep-laced voice answered.

A booming crack of thunder, and a whimper.

“Don’t worry – it… won’t hurt you.” Despite everything, Dan was sometimes still quite new to the role of 'comfort’ in their relationship.

“I know, just loud.”

Dan wished he was like Phil. He wished he could just pull out an intresting story, a funny idea.

“Sorry.”

He wasn’t like Phil, though.

“Want to play a game?”

“What game could we possibly play through a phone call?” Dan could practically hear Phil rolling his eyes.

Dan wracked his brain for quick ideas.

“Eye-Spy?”

“We’re… not in the same room Dan.”

“Yeah, true.”

Dan’s room suddenly felt rather empty and uninteresting.

Dan felt empty and uninteresting.

“What do you want me to do?” He finally muttered.

He held his breath.

“I just like hearing your voice, it calms me down. I like when you rant about things you love.”

Let it out.

“Oh. Well – want to hear my never-ending thoughts on WALL-E then?”

“Definitely.”

——

[Sunday; 02.04.18; 04:12]

——

“Phil?”

“Mhm?” He rolled over and rubbed the sleep from his eyes, “What’re you doing up?”

“There was a moth.”

“A moth?”

“Yes!” Dan looked around the room nervously, rolling on his heels, “It’s in the lounge somewhere and I can’t sleep knowing it’s out there — lurking.”

Phil groaned.

“Fucking kill it! Or set it free, I dunno. I just need it gone.”

“You are truly the perfect mix of 'needy child’ and 'angry businessman’, Danny.”

“Fuck off.”

“Mm, lemme get a cup then.”

Phil shoved on his glasses and stumbled out of bed into the kitchen, Dan following closely behind.

“Where was it again?” He asked, grabbing a wine glass from the cupboard.

They hadn’t really drank much alcohol these past few years– since Dan had gone on antidepressents— but they still always kept the glasses, to drink Ribena and seem fancy.

“No! You’ll need a bigger cup, it’s huge.” He whined.

“Okay,” he grabbed another glass, “where is it?”

“In the lounge last I saw.”

“I’ll go look, you get a piece of paper.”

Genuine terror painted over Dan’s face, “I don’t want to be alone.”

“Christ’s sake Dan, it’s a moth, not an armed burglar. I think you’ll live.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I do. Now, just go a minute.”

He then ventured into the lounge, still half-drowned by sleep, when he heard a shriek.

“Dan?”

“Phil! Fucking help!”

Anyone else might’ve thought Dan was being held at gunpoint from the panicked way he was yelling.

“Coming!”

He went into the hall; Dan was standing there, paralysed with fear, as a giant moth flew circles around him. He had tears threatening to fall.

“Oh dear,”

Phil went over to the closet and grabbed a broom, spent a few go’s waving it around– and almost hitting Dan in the process— before smacking it head on.

“Aw, now I feel bad for killing it,” He whispered.

Dan was on the floor now, shaking, tears stained down his cheeks. He was in only pants.

And Phil was there.

“Well, the moth’s gone now isn’t it?” He crouched down next to Dan, putting his hands gently on his shoulders.

“Mmm,” Dan had his head tucked in his knees.

“Are you okay?”

Silence.

“That’s fine. Want me to make you some tea?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay.”

A few minutes later, in the kitchen, with dried cheeks; “I can’t believe how much of a wimp I am.”

The kettle rang, and Phil took it off the stove carefully.

“No —”

“I know, I know, my therapist told me. 'It’s never weak to have fears’. But I cried over a fucking moth. In our hallway. It’s late and –”

“– and that’s okay.”

“It’s not okay Phil!”

“It’s fine in the moment, that’s what I mean.”

He grabbed a NASA mug, and poured the boiling water in a teapot.

“I must be exhausting.”

Phil dropped in a teabag.

He still remembered. It was a promise made at 4am; a promise over Skype to a more-than-slightly-terrified eighteen year old.

A promise made to a bunch of pixel’s with a name and a face and fear.

A promise his Dan probably didn’t even remember, honestly.

“No, I promised that much.”

“Mhm,”

He poured the tea.

“So, two sugars or three?”

“Two.”

——

[Friday; 02.16.18; 05:12]

——

Dan was on the sofa; snuggled up in blankets and watching the winter Olympics through his small Iphone screen. His eyes were heavy, he yawned.

Their bedroom door squeaked opened.

“Hey,” Phil spoke quietly.

“Up so late?”

“You’re up too.”

“Well — I’m watching the Olympics. You know it’s on late in the UK.”

“Alright.” Phil shuffled into the kitchen, grabbing a glass and leaving the cupboard door wide open.

“Why are you awake?”

“Just another nightmare, s'fine.”

“Then why did you come out here?”

His voice might’ve been read as upset – he was just tired. Half the time Dan honestly didn’t mean to come off so rude.

“Dunno,”

“What was it about?”

“Uh — I think my family was trapped, you included, and I was the only person who could save them. But I had to do something… I think, I had to open a lock to somewhere? But I was too nervous. I saw everyone die; I knew it was my fault. I saw – you know, blood. Not too much. But it’s fine.”

As he spoke, he went over to the sink and got a glass of water, adding iced-cubes; his tone was unnaturally cool and casual.

“But I heard your skull shatter –”

“What the fuck —”

“Sorry! You asked though.”

“No – I mean, that’s horrible. Jesus christ, are you okay?”

Phil shrugged, “It happens, it’s okay though. Just a dream.”

It was only at that moment Dan noticed Phil’s eyes were a little too redded, his words a little bit shaky.

Phil started back to their room.

“Are you going back to sleep?”

“Probably.” His reply was tired.

“Oh – uh, well, why don’t you stay with me and watch the Olympics? I know you’ve never really cared, not your thing, but still I think that —”

“Sure! I’ll stay, yeah.” Phil quickly answered.

“Okay.”

Phil put his glass of water back down on the counter, and walked over to the sofa. Dan opened up his blanket fort and invited Phil in.

“These are the men’s single runs.”

“Mhm,” Phil nuzzled his head into Dan’s neck, which usually would’ve bothered him, but he didn’t mind so much.

A few minutes pass, “So what’s that guy supposed to be doing? I need your commentary; you know.”

I just like hearing your voice, it calms me down.

“Well, that’s the Japanese lead skater, which means —”

#submission

[seriousshit88]

So you are accepting prompts So I'd to send you mine. A cute sciles about them confessing their love/crush through texting? I love this texting dynamic but I hardly see it. Xx

Scott [1:25]: hey

Scott [1:26]: you awake

Stiles [1:27]: i am now

Scott [1:27]: sorry 😞 

Stiles [1:28]: don’t worry about it. i always have time for you, dude. what’s up?

Scott [1:28]: had a bad dream

Stiles [1:29]: normal bad or weird bad?

Scott [1:29]: there’s a difference?

Stiles [1:30]: yeah normal bad is run of the mill nightmares like showing up to class naked

Stiles [1:30]: weird bad is supernatural shit

Scott [1:31]: i don’t think this dream was either

Stiles [1:31]: but it was still bad?

Scott: [1:32] yeah. maybe. idk

Stiles [1:38]: you wanna tell me about it?

Scott [1:40]: nvm. it’s stupid. sorry i woke you up. night.

Stiles [1:41]: morning

***

Stiles [7:14]: i passed my physical today! 😀

Scott [7:15]: dude that’s awesome! i’m proud of you

Stiles [7:16]: i jogged 5 miles can you believe it? i can’t.

Scott [7:16]: was it hard?

Stiles [7:17]: lol yeah but i did it!

Scott [7:18]: when we meet up i’m taking you out

Scott [7:19]: to celebrate

Stiles [7:19]: out?

Stiles [7:19]: oh “out”

Scott [7:20]: yeah. What did you think i meant?

Stiles [7:20]: you were going to kill me like in a mob hit or something lol

Scott [7: 21]: lol wtf 🤣

Stiles [7:21]: or ask me out on a date lmao

Stiles [7:26]: scott

Stiles [7: 27]: scotty

Stiles [7:28]: dude you gotta remember to charge your phone

***

Scott [4:03]: stiles i have to tell you something

Stiles [4:04]: shoot

Scott [4:05]: i had the dream again last night

Stiles [4:06]: ready to share?

Scott [4:06]: it was about you. us. together.

Stiles [4:07]: wait didn’t you say it was a bad dream

Scott [4:07]: only bc it’ll never happen

Stiles [4:08]: you want it to happen?

Scott [4:11]: maybe

Stiles [4:11]: cool. let’s do it.

Scott [4:12]: but you don’t know the details

Stiles [4:13]: if i was with you i’m sure it was a good time 😘😉

Scott [4:13]: stiles stop i’m already dead

Stiles [4:14]: you made a love confession via text

Stiles [4:14]: that’s kinda cute tbh ilu2

Scott [4:15]: 😊

#sciles #foreversciles #scott mccall #stiles stilinski #aaahhh this could have been longer #but i have to stay within the word limit #i hope you enjoy nonnie #Nonnie