#So I just repress and ignore things until they are a bigger problem and then I'm like 0: what | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

youryanderedaddy · 3 years

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I like your posts, it's always cool. May i ask a yandere concept between an innocent, protected princess and a prince who obsessed with her from the first time they met, and force against her will. Thanks so much, love your writing :3

Thanks, anon, that means a lot <3 If you haven't noticed, I am oBseSSed with royalty stuff so I rlly enjoyed writing this. It's slightly different tho, but the idea is there.

Title: We all fall down

tw: female reader, non - consensual touching, obsessive behavior, coercion, implied forced marriage, war mention, abuse of power

It was cold when you woke up, terribly so. The room was spacious enough, there was bright sunlight coming from all four windows on each wall and you were sure that your sheets were warm and puffy even without looking down at them, yet it still felt freezing. You soon realized the place wasn’t simply cold, it was different too. It looked nothing like your own room back at the Southern Palace with its countless colourful pictures, books shattered all over the ground and a fireplace just across the queen – sized bed. Before you had a chance to sigh in annoyance, a quick glance to the other side reminded you of the bigger problem. Him.

“Good morning, princess.” The man greeted you cheerfully, his voice still deep and husky from the early hour. He was laying against the wooden doorframe, the sly smirk you had grown to hate over the years once again adorning his red lips. You stared at him for a moment, then rubbed your eyes to chase the fatigue away, fruitlessly so. You were too tired and sleep – deprived to play – pretend, which of course didn’t go unnoticed by the nobleman.

“You don’t look too well, princess.” He teased with a cheeky grin and walked towards the bed, stopping just before his legs hit the edge of the frame. You puffed softly, but remained quiet just so you wouldn’t have to answer him just yet. “And look at your state, darling…” The heir continued, clicking his tongue in a mocking “tsk, tsk,tsk”. “Your nightgown is a mess, I can see all of your beautiful curves.” The heir paused to lick his lips in a disgusting, suggestive way, and you had to repress the need to vomit all over the beautiful yellow sheets. “In our kingdom such appearance counts as an invitation, did you know that?” He added, smiling sharply, like a wolf in sheep’s clothing, satisfied at the way his words made you embarrassed, flustered and jumpy so early in the morning.

“Your Highness, I would like to properly remind you that it was you who forced me to drink and dance all night.” You responded heatedly, all while fixing the straps of your silky dress to at least cover your cleavage. “You wouldn’t let go of my hand for a second. It’s your fault that I look like this.” You remarked, slightly offended by the man’s jokes, despite being used to his terrible humor after all those long years of shared parties and celebrations.

“If that is really so, my lady, please let me make it up to you.” The prince replied in the same smooth, carefree voice of his, the one he used before while talking to the maids and the peasant girls he wanted to bed. It made you sick to think of yourself as just another of his conquests, even though it couldn’t be further from the truth – you couldn’t stand the dark – haired male, his arrogance and absolute ignorance. “Join me for breakfast and I shall have our best cook serve your favorite meal.” The heir announced and winked at you before turning on his heels and finally leaving the room without hearing whether you agreed to his offer or not. You didn’t even have the chance to ask him how he knew what your favorite dish was or why he entered your room without permission, such a lack of manners was unsuited for a soon-to-be king. Perhaps you could use his inconsiderate behavior as an excuse to stay in bed until lunch but deep down you knew it was pointless. The egotistic little bastard knew you had no choice since you two had a lot to discuss.

---

The breakfast, if not anything else, was rich and delicious, each bite tasty and mouth – watering. The sweet aroma of cinnamon tea, vanilla and powdered sugar filled your senses with ease and a little bit of nostalgia for your childhood. The hardest part was yet to come, you wanted to deal with it fast and go home as soon as possible. As for Arthur, it was the first time you saw him serious with his brows arched and his thoughts all over the place. The uneasiness came back with full force.

“I think you know what we want, princess.” The male declared sternly after looking at the map for a while. His eyes were blue and clear, piercing in the way they were focused on you and you alone with no one else in the hall to act as a barrier between you and the monster. You understood why it had to be only you two, but these deals were always an open secret in both kingdoms, so there weren’t many reasons to keep the tradition going. “We want our territory back. We want you to surrender.” The heir hissed eerily under his breath, his pupils fixed on your frame, burning the skin underneath the thick layer of rough fabric.

You didn’t know how to respond to this – the dynasty’s requests had always been ridiculous and far – fetched, but never as impossible as this one. Yes, your land used to belong to the East centuries ago, but after several long, bloody, sacrificial wars where many of your men lost their lives, it was won fair and square. Now all your subjects lived there happily and freely, rightfully so.

“Your Majesty, please don’t dwell on the past. It will never come back.” You responded shortly after, laughing nervously at the end, hoping that would be enough for Arthur to drop the subject. Unfortunately, this wasn’t the case.

“Is that so, dearest? You have two weeks then.” The prince said coldly, narrowing his eyes like a fox. You opened your mouth to speak but quickly got cut off. “Prepare your troops, train the soldiers, announce the incoming war to your people.” The man chuckled darkly and threw the map all the way across the room. “You better get ready for a thunderstorm.” He added just to mess with you some more, just to see your face turn white from the shock and the panic.

“You can’t do that!” You shouted out suddenly and stood up from your chair, feeling cornered and suffocated. You hated the prince’s constant teasing and flirty remarks but you would have never guess him to be a cold-blooded conqueror. “This is too cruel even for you!” You screamed, the tears already blooming down your cheeks, hot and wet. Arthur spared you one condescending look before moving closer and trapping your body against the table, towering over you both physically and metaphorically, as if saying “Let’s see who has the stronger mind.”

“I will get what I want no matter the cost and there is little you can do to stop me, princess.” The heir pronounced slowly, tilting your chin up so you had no choice but to meet his hard gaze, full of intense yet unreadable emotion. There was nothing left of the sly cheerful boy standing against your doorframe, teasing you about meaningless little things, and you almost missed him now. “But what you can do is stop the needless violence and bloodshed, Y/N.” You despised the way your eyes lit up at his words, but, as always, your duty was above your comfort and happiness. “What can I do?” You uttered quietly, a part of you too scared to hear the answer, the other anticipating it.

“Marry me.” The prince stated in a deep patronizing voice. His eyes were dark and sharp, just like before, and there wasn’t a trace of his usual gleeful smile. He grabbed your wrists in a painful grip and pulled them up, holding them against his broad shoulders. “We can unite the kingdoms and live our Happily Ever After. No one has to die.” The man whispered surprisingly softly, his chest heaving with each passing breath. “I can make you happy, dearest.”

You gasped in shock as soon as the proposal left his lips. Every fiber in your body was frozen still, your whole being shaken up by the unexpected offer.

“Why do you want to marry me?” You asked frantically, squirming to loosen up his grasp on your hands just to feel it tighten up even more. This was going to bruise for sure. “Isn’t it obvious?” The noble exhaled slowly, staring at you, trying desperately to find the compassion and affection he hoped you had grown to hold for him over the years. His heart broke once he realized there wasn’t any, but it didn’t matter. Feelings could change in a matter of minutes.

“I’ve loved you since day one, my princess.” His attention drifted to your open mouth, especially your soft full lips. Oh, how much he dreamt of taking you and relishing in the whines and moans you would surely let out once he decided to claim you as his own. “All I’ve ever wanted is you.” The heir confessed, his face moving closer and closer to your own, forcing you to arch your back more and more until it hit the table. Before you knew it, he was pinning you to the hard wooden surface, caging you in, kissing you violently, furiously. You couldn’t breathe.

You couldn’t say no.

#yandere #male yandere #yandere oc #yandere male x reader #yandere oc x reader #yancore #yandere oneshot #male yandere x reader #yandere smut #yandere x you #yandere concept

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universallywriting · 4 years

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Angry Steven Essay 1 - Ignoring Your Kids and the Consequences

A lot of people have been wondering why Steven is so angry, and where their sweet baby boy has gone, and I think people are struggling because they don’t understand how little they respected Steven before.

Because I don’t think that Steven has undergone a huge character shift. Admittedly, he’s angry more frequently now, but I don’t think his anger is bigger or more intense or any worse than it’s been at other points in the series. Steven’s feelings haven’t gotten bigger…

But Steven has.

I counted up all the times Steven gets angry in the series, being fairly charitable and not counting more minor moments of annoyance of frustration. I’ve got about 21 moments out of 160 episodes for the original series. Granted, that’s only once every seven episodes, but it’s not insignificant. The idea that Steven never gets angry is factually wrong.

We see his temper the first time in Steven the Swordfighter, and it’s not a very wholesome look at the boy. He’s frustrated because Pearl is gone and Holo-Pearl isn’t a good replacement. And, already, I bet you’re starting to tune out a little. Because Steven’s being a stupid little kid, isn’t he? Pearl’s coming back. He’s just throwing a tantrum.

Tantrum is the word we give to anger and sadness we don’t respect. It’s a word we use to belittle and ignore children, even when their feelings are justified.

We see something similar in Rose’s Room. He screams at the gems because they ruin the ending of his video game. And, sure that’s a bummer Steven, but it’s just a game. There’s a big space opera out there, so why are you so worried about this? And yeah, you got mad that Greg lied to you in House Guest, but he just wanted to spend time with you. It’s a cute father/son moment, really. Steven is angry, sure, but it’s just kind of pitiful, isn’t it? Poor silly kid. He’s wrapped up in his little concerns when the world is so big and scary.

But you were on his side in Warp Tour. Because he’s right this time, so it’s not a tantrum. And you’re mad at the gems because they’re treating it as a tantrum. But here’s the thing - the gems should never treat him this way. Because so far? Every single one of Steven’s fears and struggles are valid and worthy of respect. Steven isn’t pitching a fit because they brought him a scarlet firetruck and he wanted a cherry firetruck. He’s hurt. That deserves respect and attention and apologies.

In Steven the Swordfighter, he’s struggling because one of his guardians is really hurt. Not only that, but she’s hurt in a way that she can’t talk to him, can’t let him know it’s going to be okay, and in her place is the thing that hurt her. You’ll also note that Amethyst and Garnet are conspicuously absent during all of this, because apparently the boy doesn’t need comfort and care after watching Bird Mom get wasted and spending days hovering over her unhatched egg. Steven is going through all this grief and fear alone.

In Rose’s Room, Steven is denied his chance to spend time with the gems after they promised. They don’t respect or value Steven’s time. Why would they? He’s a child. And clearly he proves his time is worthless by putting so much value in his silly video game he interrupted. What’s the ending of your stupid golf game matter when the plot it rolling along, Steven? Big, important adult things are here. Drop what you’re doing. Ignore your interests. What the gems are doing is more valuable than what you’re doing every single time.

This is a general trend. Warp Tour is the perfect encapsulation of the problem, because it’s finally important enough that Steven fights to be heard. The first thing to remember about this episode is that we, the audience, are placed on Steven’s side because we’ve seen what Steven has seen. We know he’s right. The gems, however, believe what Steven is saying to be impossible. From their perspective, Steven is saying that a masked man broke down their door last night. Be honest - if you knew a kid making that claim and the door was fine, are you going to take it seriously?

The problem in Warp Tour is not that the gems don’t believe him. It’s reasonable not to. The problem is the way they react to it. Amethyst groans and complains about how long it’s taking to make Steven feel better, making him feel like a burden. Pearl aggressively confronts him with evidence, treating him like they’re in a debate and he needs to be proven wrong. That makes him feel stupid, belittled and ignored. Garnet says that it’s important to make Steven feel secure, but even that is condescending and quietly insists that Steven is being irrational.

Even at the end, Garnet is the only one who even slightly makes amends, saying she should have listened to him while also not apologizing. Pearl and Amethyst don’t make amends at all. But do you know who does say sorry four times? Steven. Steven has been taught and continues to be taught that his feelings are secondary. The things in his life that are important aren’t really important compared to the serious grown up issues.

The lack of apologies are consistent. In Keystone Motel, Ruby and Sapphire realize Steven is upset and make up with each other, but don’t make up with Steven. Don’t apologize to Steven. In Maximum Capacity, Amethyst never apologizes to Steven for shapeshifting into his dead mom. (Which, always and forever - What the hell, Ame?)

The gems brushed off these feelings and due to that, I think a lot of the audience did too. But the gems do occasionally ask Steven what’s wrong, and he shuts them down.

So why does he do that? Why doesn’t he work it out? Because they spent his entire life ignoring his problems, disregarding his fears, not knowing what’s important to him. I’ve seen a lot of talk about Gemcation and how the stuff with Connie was Steven repressing his trauma over space and… no. It’s not. It’s really, really not. It’s yet another example of how the gems (and the fandom) ignore the things that matter to Steven in favor of what they think he should care about, and it comes down to this one extremely painful moment.

Garnet: Steven, I know what’s troubling you.

Steven: You do? (huge relieved smile) Gosh. I really messed up, didn’t I?

He’s so, so excited for someone to understand him. He’s so thrilled for someone to understand what’s wrong, and value his problems and his life. And what happens? Garnet talks about Pink Diamond. He’s crushed again.The most important thing to Steven is his relationships with other people, his friends. Literally his entire problem solving method is to go make more friends. He’s not worried about getting hurt or how scary Homeworld is, he’s scared that his family is going to stop loving him because of the mistakes he made.

But the gems don’t take the time to understand what Steven truly values. They don’t take the time to respect his interests. They don’t take the time to know him. And we’re still seeing that. They don’t understand what movies he likes. They don’t understand how his taste in food has changed. They don’t realize he’s been a vegetarian for a month. That’s not a little change. And, what’s more, that’s a value. That’s something extremely important, a sacrifice you decide to make because you think it’s a big deal.

And the gems don’t know.

So why would he talk to them? If someone was so uninterested in my life they couldn’t figure out I’d been a vegetarian for a month, I wouldn’t be opening up about my deepest problems. And when have they ever guessed a problem right? When have they ever taken an interest in things that matter to him? When have they ever told him that his human half is just as valuable, that he deserves to do whatever he wants, that he doesn’t have to be the son of Pink Diamond and can actually just be Steven?

But why bother when you can just cheer him up with s’mores and camping and Dogcopter, right? Steven doesn’t get angry! Our precious baby boy pouts. He throws some tantrums. The only time his anger matters is in Warp Tour, because he’s right about these big adult things. Steven is a child and he is small and cute and funny and his voice cracks when he shouts. It’s funny, isn’t it? He’s just a little kid. Little boys get angry and they scream and they holler about stupid things, and who cares, right?

Until one day they’re not so little anymore.

And now it doesn’t seem so funny, does it? Now it’s kind of scary. Now, the little kid that you rolled your eyes at and ignored the emotions of is big. He’s got a deep voice. He’s got broad shoulders. When he screams at you, it’s not something to roll your eyes over. It’s kind of terrifying now, isn’t it? Because there’s real power in that bigger body, and even the lizard part of your brain at the base of your spinal chord knows that. There’s a real, destructive power when he screams, and you have to listen.

The gems still think he’s a kid, and the audience is starting to realize he’s not. And the audience is already scared of what a kid as angry as Steven, with no coping mechanisms, is going to look like as a grown man.

It’s really easy to ignore a little boy with a weak grasp of his strength. It’s a lot harder to ignore a man whose screams shake your house down.

Value your kid’s feelings. They’re going to be grown some day. And what’s more? They’re people. Their feelings mattered all along. Steven’s feelings mattered all along.

The only thing that’s changed is that you can’t call it cute anymore.

#steven universe #steven universe future #su #suf #su steven #steven su #angry steven essay #meta #essay

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sunsetcurvecuddles · 3 years

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Road trip to nowhere in particular. Bobby just likes to drive. Reggie just likes to point out cows and horses out the windows. Maybe he counts them. Maybe he names them. Either way Bobby has to pretend to be annoyed/mildly amused even as he is experiencing SO MUCH LOVE

hi this is both sadder and longer than i intended for it to be so it is now also available to read on ao3 here. warning for allusions to child abuse.

seems like i’d take a new road | boggie | 2.1k

It's still barely bright outside when Bobby pulls up and parks the car a few houses down from Reggie's, so he doesn't risk waking Reggie's parents. As he gets out of the car and goes to knock on Reggie's window, Bobby rubs his eyes, wondering what kind of insanity possessed him when he suggested they leave so early.

Reggie's already sitting on his bed when Bobby comes up to the window, hands folded in his lap, backpack at his feet. The light from the lamp on his bedside table casts shadows across his face, makes him look thoughtful, and quiet. He looks up almost as soon as Bobby comes into view, like he knew, somehow, that Bobby would be there.

Or he just heard you coming, idiot, Bobby chides himself, but when Reggie grins, eyes way too bright for the hour, Bobby feels a matching smile tugging across his face without his permission.

—

"Okay, okay," Reggie says, as soon as he's plonked himself into the passenger seat, rifling through his backpack immediately, "I've got snacks, and soda, and sandwiches for lunch later, and some mix CDs, but I don't know which one we should listen to first, since—"

"Reg," Bobby interrupts him flatly, even though it's absolutely killing him not to laugh. "Seatbelt first, thanks."

"Oh." Reggie sits back, abashed, and buckles in before returning to the contents of the bag. "It's just very important that we have the right mix for the drive. It has to fit the atmosphere. That can make or break the whole trip!" He's gesturing all over the place with his free hand, still half-buried in the oversized backpack on his lap.

"Right," says Bobby, as though he's totally on board.

"So," Reggie hums, "We've got a selection, so, I'll just read them all out to you—"

"Don't worry about it," Bobby tells him, turning the key and pumping the gas a few times as the engine rolls over before it properly coughs to life, "you just pick something."

Reggie stops, looks up at him wide-eyed. "Are you sure? I know that I like weird music. Alex would die before he let me choose a CD."

"Do I look like Alex?" Bobby retorts, and Reggie's face splits into a huge smile.

"I know the perfect one. It's gonna be so good, Bobby, promise."

—

This is how Bobby spends the next half an hour listening to a burned CD of all Reggie's favourite country songs, as the sun rises over the road and he takes them out of the city. Even this early, there's traffic, because LA is a nightmare city from hell and Bobby hates it, but leaving early has definitely given them an advantage. Reggie winds his window down and rests his arms on the window edge so he can sing Tim McGraw out to the city of angels to wake her up and ready for her the day, and Bobby settles in for the drive.

They'd both been going nuts, was the thing. Bobby’s just had too much work to do, and there’s always so much noise at home, his little siblings underfoot and on top of him and exhausting, as much as he loves them.

Bobby knows Reggie doesn't have such benign reasons for wanting to get away for the day. However, Bobby also knows better than to push him on it, especially when he's in such a good mood, belting the lyrics to Memory Lane (when Bobby swats him and tells him the song sucks, Reggie just smiles bigger, belts even louder). Reggie pretty much universally refuses to acknowledge that there's a problem until it becomes impossible to ignore.

Like last week, when he'd called Bobby from his home phone, whispering a request to pick him up — please, just for a few hours, Bobby, and then I'll get out of your hair, it's just — and Bobby had been able to hear the banging and yelling even on his end of the call. Or when he'd turned up at Bobby's place with a black eye last month, had ended up sleeping in Bobby’s studio, curled up to Bobby on the couch, shivering even under the blankets Bobby brought out for them.

It's difficult to reconcile that image, of Reggie teary and silent and meek as Bobby had given him a pack of frozen peas to press over his eye, who had only shaken his head when Bobby asked him what happened, with this image, of Reggie with his head half out the window, singing and beaming in the morning sun. Tim McGraw's voice fades out, only to be replaced by more guitar (which sounds exactly the same to Bobby's ear) and Reggie's face lights up as he whoops, says, "This song is SO good, can I turn it up?"

Forget the morning sun. Reggie's brighter than it is.

Bobby makes sure his resigned sigh is extra theatrical before he says, "I guess so."

—

The next hour or so continues mostly this way, as Los Angeles becomes a more scattered, widespread set of houses and then eventually not much except desert. They share a packet of Haribo bears, Reggie insisting on giving Bobby the 'best colours' even though Bobby is almost certain they all taste pretty much the same, but he rolls his eyes and gives in when Reggie insists there's a subtle difference. At one point, the CD comes to an end, so Reggie swaps it for the next one. Which is also full of country. "Alex never lets me play any of these," he says defensively, even though all Bobby had done was glance at him out of the corner of his eye.

Bobby just shrugs and says, "I can see why."

And Reggie delightedly retorts, "Hey!"

After winding through the open, rocky expanse for awhile, things turn a little greener. Suddenly, Reggie breaks off singing to lean so far out the window that Bobby instinctively grabs the back of his shirt in his fist.

"Jesus, Peters, ass in the seat!" he huffs, mostly because his heart is still pounding.

Reggie has the decency to look a little sheepish as he sits back down, but still more excited than anything. "Sorry, Bobby, just — there's cows! Look, a whole field of them!"

There is, in fact, a whole field of cows. "Well, don't traumatise them by falling out the window."

"There's so many," Reggie continues, like Bobby didn't even speak, and then continues at a muttered volume, "one, two, three, four—"

"Are you seriously going to count all of them?" Bobby asks. This needs to stop. If Reggie's going to be this distractingly cute — no, just distracting — the whole trip, Bobby's going to crash the car, he can feel it. "You know they're going to move around and stuff."

"Oh," says Reggie, humming, "you're right. Hang on, I should name them so I can tell them apart. What are some good cow names? I think the big one up on the hill looks like a Betsy. And the brown one is totally a Buttercup."

Bobby groans, his heart growing three sizes in his chest, like he’s the Grinch or something. "Franco," he suggests at last.

"Franco?!" Reggie bursts out laughing. "You think 'Franco' is a good cow's name?"

"Is it not?" Bobby retorts, and Reggie laughs harder, throwing his head back and wrapping his arms around his stomach. The sound of him cackling almost drowns out Dolly Parton's voice still crooning from Bobby's stereo.

This Reggie. Versus the one who lives in Bobby's memory, tiny and silent, frozen peas held to his face with one trembling hand.

"Francesca," Reggie is saying, through his wheezing laughter, "now, Francesca is a good cow's name."

"Would you shut up about naming the cows and pass me a soda?"

"The calf is called Henry!" Reggie insists, as he leans to dig through his backpack. When he pulls out a can of soda and holds it out to Bobby, still flushed pretty-pink from laughing, his hair sort of a mess in his eyes, nose scrunched up extra cute, and Bobby feels his stomach softly flip over.

Well. That's a feeling he should repress.

"Thanks," he says, careful not to brush Reggie's fingers as he takes the can from him. Reggie doesn’t seem to notice. Thank god.

"You're welcome," says Reggie quietly, snuggling back down into his seat, looking out the window again. He points and says, "That one's called Oscar."

Definitely repressing, Bobby decides. Immediately. Forever. He can't have a crush on Reggie. Like, the band, and the fact that the last thing Reggie needs is for one of his friends to have feelings for him, as if he doesn’t already have enough going on. There are so many reasons he shouldn't have a crush on Reggie. Down, he tells the feeling, pushing at it in his chest, go down, stay down. "Is he?"

Reggie is oblivious, cheerfully rambling on, with no idea that he is causing Bobby a serious internal crisis. "Yeah. And that one's called—"

Bobby hopes it stays that way. He turns Dolly Parton up a little bit, and keeps driving.

—

They park and have lunch at the top of a hill looking over the valley. Reggie regales Bobby with some needlessly complicated story of the relationship between all the cows, as if they’re living a little soap opera down in the field. If Bobby’s going to be honest, he can’t follow the plot, but that doesn’t stop him staring at Reggie’s profile, the way he looks perfect here, at home among the grass and in the bright sun, how he comes alive being out here.

Bobby’s never really known what to think of the future. Before the band, he didn’t have much in his head to imagine. All his thoughts of the future were of his little siblings, what their lives would be like, but it was Luke who had first interrupted him and asked, “Well, yeah, but what about you, man? What do you want your life to be like?”

Maybe Bobby will save up and buy a farm out here, when all the band and touring stuff is done. So Reggie can come visit. Hell, maybe he’ll just buy Reggie a farm, with their millions of dollars they’re going to make when they’re all famous rock stars like Luke says they’ll be.

If we all have that much money, Reggie will buy his own farm, the voice in his head that keeps him in line sharply reminds him. Push them down. Push the feelings down.

“Here,” he says to Reggie, shoving his sandwich over. “You wanna finish this? Then we can get going.”

—

On their return drive that afternoon, Reggie is quiet. When one of the CDs loops back to the beginning, Reggie ejects it and doesn’t put in another one. The quiet is okay, Bobby thinks. It gives him a chance to catch his breath, to focus on the road, to forget all about his revelation from earlier in the day.

Winding back through the city, the sun dips lower in the sky. The city lights start to come alive as the evening sets in. Reggie starts to fiddle with the edge of his flannel, shift in his seat, like he’s nervous. A few times he breathes in, like he’s going to talk, and then doesn’t.

Bobby waits him out. He knows Reggie hates being pushed, hates stammering and fumbling for words when he doesn’t have them yet.

Still, he’s surprised when Reggie actually does break the silence. “Can I—” he starts, swallows, and then stops.

“Can you?” Bobby prompts, when Reggie doesn’t continue. His instinct is to reach for Reggie’s hand, but he does what he’s been doing all day, and pushes the thought down. God, what if Reggie’s noticed? What if that’s what he’s about to say? For a moment, Bobby feels cold, and nauseous. He sets his jaw.

“CouldImaybestayatyourplacetonight?” Reggie blurts out, all in one go.

Bobby breathes what he hopes is an imperceptible sigh of relief. Sure, it means a night of knowing Reggie’s out in the studio, probably cold. It means Bobby will inevitably climb out of bed, and out his window, bringing his extra blankets, to curl up with Reggie on the couch, to make sure he stays warm. Because that’s what always happens when Reggie sleeps over. And that’s a whole lot more complicated now that Bobby knows that he—well.

But Bobby looks at the worry on Reggie’s face, his stupid puppy eyes, and he can’t say no. Could never say no to Reggie anyway, he thinks. He needs to be there for Reggie, and that’s why his feelings have no place in this mess. “Of course, Reg. No problem.”

No problem, he tells himself, and does his best to mean it.

jatp taglist (lmk if you want to be added or removed!!): @queenmolina @nickalicious @bi-reginald @jughead-is-canonically-aroace @multifandom-queer @cinnamonstickrayofsunlight @malecacidd

#chickwiththepurpleguitar #jatp #julie and the phantoms #boggie #bobby wilson #reggie peters #ask #my fic #boggie brain rot

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rin-00 · 3 years

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The Argument - Kieu My x Fatou

How the hell did they get to this point? In the past couple of days Fatou and her have been out of sync. First, their schedules haven’t matched up so they couldn’t see each other as often as they needed to. Then, when they did see each other it seemed like the skater girl was withholding information from her. Kieu My could practically reach out and feel the invincible walls the other girl has put up around her. Walls that she thought didn’t apply to her since she was her girlfriend after all. Every “How are you’s” are either met with a shrug, a vague answer, or a lie. She thought they were past this but apparently not.

They have been lying down on Kieu My’s bed for the past hour, watching a documentary on Netflix about sea life. If anyone were to walk in the room right now they would probably assume they were two awkward friends instead of a couple that has been together for almost a year because of the literal physical distance between them. Usually when they watch movies together, or are even in the same room together, they always have to be in each other’s orbit. Even if it was just pinkies touching. There was never more than just a thumb’s sized distance between the two. But right now? Right now there is about a foot of space between her and Fatou. A foot that manages to feel like a mile. The other girl is staring blankly at the laptop screen and Kieu My can tell that her mind is somewhere else because she herself has been staring at Fatou’s side profile for about 20 minutes now and she has yet to notice. If this was a regular day, Fatou would have turned to her with a warm smile and a slight blush painting her cheeks and teased Kieu My about how she couldn’t keep her eyes off of her. Instead there’s no smile on the girl’s face. All Kieu My sees are furrowed eyebrows and a clenched jaw. She wants to ask what’s wrong. In fact she has been asking for the past couple of days but she sensed a slight irritation from Fatou the last time she asked and she didn’t want to push. But she’s worried that if she doesn’t push then the distance between them will grow bigger and bigger.

Reaching over, Kieu My paused the film and turned her whole body she would be facing the other girl, “We need to talk.”

She hears Fatou let out an irritated huff, “I know what you’re going to ask, Kieu My. And I promise you I’m fine.”

She had a feeling this was going to be a long night. In fact she was wondering when this moment would come. Her and Fatou have been in a relationship for a while now and they had yet to argue (aside from the time outside her apartment complex) and she knew it would come around eventually. Every couple argues. She read somewhere that it’s part of maintaining a healthy relationship and with her and Fatou having so many differences in how they deal with conflict, she knew that the moment would definitely come. But that doesn’t mean she’s looking forward to it.

“Ok. I’ll believe your lie for now and accept that you’re fine. But something is obviously bothering you. So, what is it?”

Fatou scratches the side of her head and scrunches her nose. How cute. No, wait, Kieu My thought, now is not that the time for her to find Fatou adorable. She needs to put her foot down and tell Fatou that keeping her out of the loop isn’t okay. She’ll tell her she looks adorable once they’ve made up because she has a feeling argument might bubble over to a fight. She also has her own thoughts and feelings she has repressed and pushed aside in order to make Fatou feel comfortable. The insecure nights spent awake wondering if she was the reason the other girl has been so distant. The angry rants to Zoe about how she deserves transparency. The gut wrenching feeling that came with the thought that maybe Fatou was going to end everything.

“Kieu My, please, I really don’t want to talk about it. Okay?” Fatou stands up and walks over to the other side of the room to pace back and forth. Her fingers nervously wringing together.

What felt like a mile of distance now feels like a whole block and Kieu My has to swallow the lump in her throat before speaking, “No. not okay. You have been so distant the past week and I gave you your space. I asked and when you shut me off I didn’t push because I wanted you to come to me. I wanted you to have the space you needed. But, it seems like you’re not making any effort to open up.”

“Maybe I don’t want to open up. Maybe this is something I can figure out myself.”

“Well,” Kieu My said while walking over to the opposite side of the room. The distance between them now expanding as well as her voice level rising. “maybe I can help. I want to help you, Fatou.”

“I didn’t ask for your help.”

A simple sentence but it managed to open up everything inside Kieu My, “I know you didn’t ask for my help! You didn’t ask for anything! You’ve just been pouting and getting pissed off and going back to being sad for the past couple of days! At the very least, you should be able to trust me enough to be transparent with me.”

“This is something I can handle on my own! I don’t need you to try and babysit me. I can handle being sad for a couple of days.”

“I’m not trying to babysit you, I want to help you. I can help fix whatever the problem is!”

“I don’t need you to fix anything! Why can’t you just be there next to me and let me feel what I need to feel. Sometimes people just need to feel down without a need for some type of solution!”

“What, so you’re planning on just ignoring what is very obviously bothering you until it washes away? You know that’s now how the world works.”

“I don’t need you to lecture me on how the world works, Kieu My. I don’t want you to fix anything. I don’t need you to know everything! I just need you to be next to me while I figure it out the way I need to figure it out!”

“Well, it sounds like you’re asking me to just sit aside and do nothing. If that’s the case, then fine. But at the very least I need you to be honest with me about what’s going on! Are you having second thoughts about us or something?”

“What?”

“Are you having second thoughts? Are you planning on breaking up with me? Because that’s what it feels like right now.”

“No...I’m...no..”

“Then whats the fucking problem? I’m your girlfriend! I deserve more than just shrugged shoulders and a snappy response when I ask you about your life.”

“It’s not a big deal...”

“Then tell me,” thanks to Kieu My’s long legs she only needed to take 5 steps before she’s right in front of the other girl. “Please.”

Fatou’s shoulders drop and with it the walls she had up, “I have to repeat the year.”

Kneeling down so the taller girl can look at her girlfriend in the eyes, Kieu My takes Fatou’s hands in hers and tightens her hold at the sight of the skater girl’s teary face, “What do you mean?”

“I tried everything. I took tutoring lessons, I went to therapy, I did the math exercises, I even spent extra hours after school doing extra credit but it still wasn’t enough. I’m not enough.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because, I’m so embarrassed and ashamed of myself. This isn’t something you can fix, Kieu My. I fucked up. A Kieu My style studying session isn’t going to fix this.”

Opening up her arms, Kieu My takes hold of Fatou and immediately felt drops of tears hit her shoulder, “You didn’t fuck up. You did your best and that’s all that matters.”

“I’m sorry I was so distant,” Fatou presses a gentle kiss against Kieu My’s shoulder, “it’s just that when they told me that I have to repeat a year it’s like everything I did was for nothing. I started going back to bad habits like shutting you out. I shouldn’t have done that. I never want you to feel like I’m leaving because that’s one of the things I’m worried about.”

“You’re worried about me leaving?”

“I’m worried that when you’re off to college and I have to repeat a year that you will find someone better. Someone who doesn’t test your patience or is smarter.”

“Fatou..”, now sitting on the floor with Fatou in her lap, Kieu My took a moment to observe the girl. Find someone better? Than Fatou? Is that even possible? Kieu My has never been good with words. It was always Fatou who had the emotional intelligence in the relationship. She was the one who would leave notes with heartfelt words before leaving her house. She was the one who would randomly tell Kieu My why she loves her out of nowhere even in the middle of class. She was the one who knew what to say whenever she would have a fight with her parents. Hell, she was the one who managed to calm down Constantine and get through his thick head. Who else can do that? Not Kieu My. But she sure wishes she could, especially right at this moment. She wishes she can be as articulate as Fatou. She wishes she can find a way to say how much she means to her. How much it means to her whenever Fatou would just take a glance at her and immediately know what’s wrong and what would make her feel better. How much it means to her when Fatou would ask her about space or even something as mundane as her day working at the shop. How Fatou’s smile makes her heart stop. How Fatou’s voice makes life seem less chaotic. How she disliked the world a little less because they gave her the love of her life. But she can’t. So instead she tightens her hold on the smaller girl and kisses the top of her head.

“There’s nobody like you. What do you need from me, baby? What can I do to help you feel better?”

“I just need you to hold me right now.”

“Of course.”

A few moments of silence later Kieu My feels Fatou sit up right in order to look at her face to face, “I do trust you, you know. I trust you with all my heart. But, sometimes I feel like the only thing I do is lean on you. I can’t help but feel like I’m more than a burden than your girlfriend.”

“You’re not a burden. I want you to lean on me. I need you to. I need to feel you against me. I like knowing that you know I’m here for you the same way I know you’re there for me. I want you to feel loved, baby. Helping you is how I let you know that.”

“But, what if one day it’s too much? What if one day I end up messing everything up?”

“Fatou, I can never get enough of you. Like right now, you’re pressed up against me and you’re still not close enough.”

“I’m trying really hard to be the best I can be for you. And right now I feel like a failure.”

Kieu My sighs as her heart breaks at the other girl’s words. She leans forward to kiss Fatou on the lips before brushing away the tears on her cheeks.

“You’re amazing just the way you are right now.”

Feel free to leave your opinion in the comments as well as some fanfic ideas. ✨✨ this is very rough cuz I wrote it while waiting for my dog to poop.

#druck #fatou x kieu my #skam

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softboywriting · 4 years

Text

It’s You | Shawn Mendes

Summary: You and Shawn have been friends since you were children. Years have gone by, lives changed. He's a rockstar and you're a part time nurse. You keep in contact but lately you've begun to realize life isn't the same without him there and the hole in your heart gets bigger everyday. When he comes home from tour, it's time for you to make your move and confess your feelings. That is...if he doesn't beat you to it. [established friendship] [non au] [friends to lovers]

Word Count: 5k

|Masterlist In Bio|

Vanilla and cinnamon, two of the best scents in the world, in your opinion anyway. Basic, but so comforting. They are the smells of home, your real home back in Pickering. Your family home always smelled like sweet vanilla cookies and Shawn's house, your other home growing up, always smelled like warm cinnamon. It wasn't until Shawn left for his current world tour that you realized you had been subconsciously trying to fill the void of his absence by buying candles in those scents.

Three years and five months to date since his initial departure from Pickering and you wake up to realize you feel empty and it was then you realized that you love him. Of course you have talked to him, phone calls, text, video messages and brief visits. Things didn't end badly and he hasn't cut you out of his life by any means. There are things a long distance friendship can't fulfill, and things you aren't sure you can tell him over the phone, let alone tell him at all.

So for the dozenth time in probably the last three months you find yourself in the bath and body works at the mall. It's buy one get one for the three wick candles and you're sticking your nose in every single one there. Most of them are pretty good, it's the end of the autumn collection and there are displays of the Christmas and winter lines being set up, but nothing is really piquing your interest. Until you find the candle called Black Tie. A very casual little thing, black with gold stripes and it's name in gilded lettering across the side. It's definitely not one you might pick up and smell normally because the color alone indicates it's probably going to be a heavy scent that's far different from your usual vanilla and cinnamon favourites.

The moment you get the lid off you are hit with an overwhelming sense of nostalgia. Your heart swells and you can't help the tears that form instantaneously. It smells like Shawn, like his cologne that he got for Christmas a few years back. The one you could smell on your jacket after he hugged you goodbye at the airport right before this tour. It takes all of your willpower not to fall to your knees then and there in that shop. It is as if in that moment everything you've felt, repressed and ignored, is coming bubbling up to drown you.

"Are you finding everything okay?"

Suddenly you're snapped back to reality and you look over to the blonde girl on your left. She's smiling, eagerly awaiting your reply.

"Yeah...yeah I just spaced off. Thanks."

"Alright, no problem. I'm Jess if you need any help I'll be around."

You nod and clutch the candle to your chest. Is it weird? You look down at the gold lid of the candle and turn it upwards so you can see it better. Is it strange to want a candle that smells like your best friend's cologne? No. You won't talk yourself out of it. You grab a vanilla cookie dough candle and head for the register with your purchases before you can change your mind again.

_____________________

"You got another candle?" Shawn laughs through the phone in your lap. "How many is that now?"

"Probably like three dozen."

"You're gonna be on that show, my strange addiction. True story, addicted to candles."

You lift the phone and narrow your eyes at him. "Listen here jewelry boy. You're one to talk, I've seen your ridiculous collection of rings, bracelets, watches and crap. I don't make fun of you."

"Yeah but I can actually wear mine. What do you do with candles? Burn them?"

You scoff. "I don't make fun of your coping mechanisms."

"Coping? Whoa what? Are you okay?"

Shit. You set the phone down and lean your head on your knees. How could you let that slip out like that? He didn't need to know you're missing him, and what life used to be.

"Hey, talk to me. What's going on?"

You sigh softly. "Nothing is going on. I'm just really lonely and most of my friends have moved away. I guess the candles remind me of home, back in Pickering when things were simpler. I've been thinking of moving back in with mom and dad. My place here in Toronto is getting too expensive."

Shawn is quiet for a moment. You worry he's hung up but the screen is still lit up. "I miss home too. I'll be back in a few weeks, it won't be for long but it's something. If you don't want to move in with your parents you can stay at my place. It's empty."

"What if you have company?"

"I never have anyone at the apartment besides the guys."

You shake your head and roll your eyes. "I don’t know...anyway, when will you be home again?"

"Few weeks."

"You're gonna be working when you're here, you always are."

"No, I'm gonna take some time off. I want to see Mom and Dad and Aaliyah. I want to see you."

You wrap your arms around your knees and close your eyes. "Can I tell you a secret?"

"You can tell me anything."

"I think I fell in love."

Silence. Why did you even say something? He’s going to figure out it’s him. He’s not that dense, is he?

"Shawn?"

"Yeah?" He’s quiet and you can't read his emotions through the phone. You hate this. Maybe he doesn’t know it’s him. He can’t know. Why did you even say anything? So stupid. "Go on."

"It's a friend, someone from back in Pickering."

"Oh. So like...are you dating?" He has no idea.

"No."

Shawn sighs and it sounds almost relieved. "How are you in love then? Usually people need to be together to be in love."

"It's complicated."

"It's Matt isn't it?"

"What? No!"

"Oh, well, love is complicated, so y'know...just don't rush into it."

"I'm stupid and too emotional about it." You pick up the phone and look at him. "Forget I said anything. It's nothing."

"You're not stupid or emotional, feelings are valid. Maybe you are in love, maybe it's infatuation. You'll have to take a chance on this person to find out okay?"

"Yeah, okay."

Shawn looks back as someone opens a door in the room he's in. "I have to go, I'll text you?"

"For sure. Bye." You set the phone aside and flop backwards. He seemed put off, jealous almost. No. That can't be right. He's just worried about you. Yeah. That's it.

___________________

Two weeks later you find yourself hauling boxes out of the elevator on the twelfth floor of an apartment building to Shawn's place. Your rent went up a hundred dollars due to alleged renovations and that was not happening in your budget. Initially you tried going back home to Pickering, knowing it'd be a long drive to work in Toronto but it would be fine. Your parents however didn't have space for you. They are amid a remodel that you completely forgot about so your bedroom is no more. Shawn is your last choice but you know it's not going to work out when he's home, but it's temporary, you'll find another place.

The first thing you notice is that Shawn's apartment is less of a two bedroom and more of a one and a half. The second room he uses as guitar storage and a makeshift studio is the size of a large walk in closet. If you're lucky you'll get your bed in there and maybe your dresser but not much else. Shawn said to move whatever you needed into the living room. Somehow it feels wrong to impede on his space.

After a long three days of moving and setting up you're finally moved in. You stacked his guitars in their cases by the couch and boxed up all his recording gear and put it in his room. Your bed, dresser and a shelving unit all fit in the small bedroom and that's it. The rest of your furniture you took to your parents house and stored in the garage.

It's Sunday, the fourth day after the move and you are unpacking your candles, setting them out on your dresser and the shelving you set up. It's funny, Shawn's place smells like cinnamon just like his parents house did back home. You don't even need to burn any candles to be reminded of back then, Shawn's place somehow perfectly encapsulates it.

The sound of the front door opening sends your pulse skyrocketing. Shawn wasn't due home for another week. You grab your keys from your purse and ready the pepper spray you have dangling from them.

"Hello?"

Karen pops her head around the corner to the kitchen. "Hey! I was hoping you would be here. I brought some stuff for Shawn, and you too since you're here."

"Oh." You pocket your keys and walk into the kitchen to see bags of groceries on the counter. "What's all this?"

"Food, supplies." Karen begins unpacking and placing things in the fridge. "I always do this before Shawn gets home so he doesn't have to order take out."

"You're the best Karen." You hand her a carton of milk. "Do you still make the crock pot chicken soup for him?"

"Every time." She smiles. "I won't make it until Friday since he'll be here Saturday morning."

You grab a bottle of water and lean against the counter. Karen spoils Shawn rotten but you get it, you'd do the same for him. "Do you think it's weird?"

"What's that?"

"Hmm? Oh. Did I say that out loud?"

Karen closes the fridge and goes to the cabinet. "You did. What’s weird?"

"That I'm staying with Shawn."

"No, not in the least." She motions for you to pass her dry goods from the bags and you do. "You and Shawn have been thick as thieves since you were eight years old. There is something special about your friendship."

"Yeah, he's the best friend I've ever had. I'm glad he hasn't changed much since he got famous."

"Manny and I raised him right, put a good head on his shoulders. He's got common sense and a strong moral compass." She smiles and pauses to look back at you. "Friends like you keep him grounded as well."

"I do my best."

"He listens to you, values your opinion. Believe it or not he listens to you more than me sometimes."

You roll your eyes and scoff. "I doubt that."

"Oh he does. I can't tell you how many times he's called me for an opinion just to completely change his mind after I give it." Karen chuckles. "It's probably because I'm his Mom."

"But I'm just his friend."

"You're his best friend. Brian and Matt and the guys are all very good friends but you're at the top of the list you guys have been together since you learned to walk. Shawn loves you."

Your heart stops. "Shawn loves everyone."

"True, but he loves you differently. He hasn't said it I'm sure, but the way he looks at you is special. The two of you were meant to be in each other's lives." Karen wads up the plastic bags and stuffs them under the sink cabinet. "Chat with him about it. I'm sure he'll come clean."

Your hands feel sweaty and you fold your arms over your chest tightly. "Do you think he's in love with me?"

"Ah, that I'm not sure of. He's never mentioned that to me but I'm his Mom, boys don't always tell their Mom's their feelings towards their interests. He may have told Manny though, if that's the case." She lays her hand on your shoulder and you look her in the eye. "Shawn is particular, always has been, and now with everything that's happened in his life he is going to be even more particular who he has a relationship with. All I am going to say is that you shouldn't dwell on it. If there is more to your relationship with Shawn then let it happen naturally."

"Thanks." You chew on your lower lip anxiously. "Can I ask you one more thing though?"

"Sure."

"Do you think Shawn and I would be a good match?"

"Yes, without a doubt."

You nod and she kisses your cheek before saying goodbye and heading out. You stay in the kitchen a while, taking in the whole apartment, contemplating ever telling Shawn you love him, and mulling over the fact that his mom can see there is more to the two of you than just friends.

____________________

Monday you decide to snoop around the house. It's your place too after all, you should familiarize yourself. Maybe it's not snooping if you just open every cupboard in the kitchen and rifle through the bathroom drawers because you definitely live here now. You do find a couple of foregien face creams and washes that you can't read anything about on the bottle. You open and sniff them, nothing special smelling. Though you're sure they're probably some super expensive Korean beauty brand that is the secret to Shawn's flawless skin. He never would tell you what he uses and you know that just soap and water is a damn lie.

There is a box of tampons in the cupboard under the bathroom sink when you open it to see what space you're working with for your hair dryer and bath salts. It's surprising because it's definitely not yours and Shawn is definitely a guy. Probably his sisters? Weird.

You dismiss the tampons and wander out of the bathroom after putting away your bathroom supplies. You pause, looking into Shawn's bedroom before readying to turn into your own. It's so empty and way too clean. The Shawn you know never has his shit this in order. You decide to step in, boldly crossing the threshold between exploring your new home to officially snooping.

Shawn's bedroom is almost depressing. You walk along the far right wall where his dresser is. It's empty on top, not even a hairbrush or anything laying in front of the big attached mirror. The room doesn't even look lived in. It looks like a hotel. You go to the bed and sit down on the perfectly tucked blankets. Karen made it no doubt, she cleaned his place every few weeks when he went out of town to keep the dust and stuffiness at a minimum.

You flop back on the bed and close your eyes. It smells like him, like fresh laundry and the expensive cologne he wears on special occasions. The good one that you wish you could find but you know he buys somewhere overseas. You wonder if he wore it the last time he slept in this bed. Honestly you wonder if he ever feels at home here, a place he barely lives in. You open your eyes and look to the doorway, across the hall is your bedroom, already filled with personal things and decoration. Your heart sinks. Maybe he wants you to live with him so this place doesn't feel like a hotel and with you there it will feel more like a home. Yeah. You're going to make this apartment feel like home.

_____________________

Saturday arrives at an agonizingly snail's pace. Karen stopped by on Friday evening to make soup and you were still out by the time she left. You got to experience first hand what it is like for Shawn to arrive home and have warm chicken soup waiting. It's a heavenly smell after a long day and you were tempted to have some, but you know it wouldn't be fully ready until the morning.

You wake up early, planning on getting a shower and making breakfast and setting up the TV to play Harry Potter before Shawn got home. You were going to clean up the living room, bring out blankets and make sure everything was picked up and ready for Shawn to walk in. All that goes out the window when you walk out of your bedroom and see Shawn's bedroom door open with suitcases piled at the end of the bed.

You walk to the kitchen and round the corner to find Shawn sitting at the island eating a bowl of soup. He looks up and smiles so big that broth literally falls out of his mouth.

"You're so gross." You chuckle and he moves around the island to scoop you into a crushing hug.

"I missed you." He says and grips at your back. "It's been forever."

"Six months is a long while." You press your face into his shoulder and take a deep breath. Nothing is more relaxing. "Welcome home."

Shawn squeezes you tighter and you just hold onto him as if it were the last time you are going to get to do it. You stand in silence, just hugging one another and just existing together for a moment, unbroken by the outside world. Two heartbeats becoming one as the seconds tick by.

"Let's make breakfast."

"Just a little longer." He mumbles, face against your head.

You run your hand up his back, across the thrift store vintage tee from some band you've never heard of. It's soft, worn from years of wear and tear. His breathing slows down and he begins to sway in your arms. "Talk to me?"

"Miss this."

"Hugging me?"

"Being home, getting to see you and hug you. I can't wait to see my family too. It's been forever, I've never been away this long without a break. It feels good to hold someone that feels like home."

You fight the tears that well up in your eyes. He thinks of you as home. Your fingers clench instinctively and he lets out a soft groan of pain at your nails digging into his back.

"Sorry, sorry." You apologize profusely and drop your hands to step away and break the bond you've created. "My bad."

Shawn stretches and chuckles. "No worries. You mentioned breakfast?"

"Mmm." You pat his stomach and he reels forward from his stretch. "I see your appetite hasn't changed. One day your metabolism is going to slow down y'know."

"Not today." He loops his arm around your shoulders and pulls you against him as you walk toward the fridge. "Can I have the pre-hockey practice special?"

"That's so much food! You already had soup!"

"I'm starving!" He whines and you elbow him.

"Alright, I'll make it but you had better eat every last bite."

Shawn pulls away and sinks onto the island stool. "You can hold me to it."

You cut him and glare and he grins. Your heart stutters. That smile, it's been so long since you've seen it in person. You wish you could take a photo of this moment, to relive it forever and ever.

______________________

Three days into Shawn being home you come to find two hoodies left laying about the living room. They're ones he hasn't worn as far as you know, so it's a little odd. They never get moved, they just sit there draped across the couch and the lounge chair by the window. As far as you're concerned they're fair game for wearing and you do as such on the third day because you're tired from work and it's chilly in the apartment. You definitely didn't put one on just because it's his and you miss wearing his clothes.

"Hey, what're you doing tonight?" Shawn asks when he gets up around noon and wanders out of his bedroom. He seems to sleep all the time. You wonder just how much rest he gets on tour and while traveling. He claims he passes out as soon as he gets on a plane but you have your doubts.

You look over from where you have been curled up on the couch watching trash TV all morning since you're not tired yet. How, you have no idea. Night shifts at the hospital are exhausting. You're not particularly up for a wild night out so you hope he hadn't made plans to rope you into anything.

"Nothing. Just got home a few hours ago and I've been watching movies and channel surfing."

"Do you want to go out?"

Of course. Sleepy rockstar wants to go out. Part of you wants to be annoyed, jealous that he can just sleep all day and go do whatever he feels like whenever. But you aren't either of those things. In fact, his simple question makes your heart skip, your brain reading it as an inquiry for a date. You know fill well he means going out as friends and your foolish heart instantly settles down.

"It depends, I'm not up for anything too crazy. I just worked a ten hour shift overnight."

"Oh right, I forgot. Wednesday is your night shift. I was just thinking something easy, dinner and drinks?"

"Just us?"

"Yeah, like we used to. The diner on Bedford is still open I think."

You chew your lip. It sounds so tempting. Burgers and shakes, just like the old days. But you need to sleep, and going out with him just seems like a recipe for disaster with your feelings right now.

"I don't think I'm up for it."

Shawn sinks into the cushions beside you. He steals the corner of your blanket and leans his head against your shoulder. He smells like a sleepy boy and minty shampoo. It's hard not to turn your face into his hair and take it all in.

"Wanna talk about it?"

"Wh- huh? There isn't anything to talk about?"

"Are you sure? You've got on my hoodie and you're watching ex on the beach. If I know one thing it's that you're caught up in your feelings right now. Is it that guy you're in love with?"

You pause. He hasn't brought up the whole being in love conversation since you initially had it about a month ago now. Not that you expected him to and it definitely didn't come up naturally. You figured he had forgotten what you said. So now that he is mentioning it unprompted is odd.

"No, he's not...it's not that."

"You never said who it was."

"It's no one. It was a fleeting dream and an emotional couple days. I was mistaken, you know, obsession not affection." Such a liar.

Shawn looks up at you from your shoulder and you can tell he is not buying it. You're not one to be infatuated with someone over nothing. "Right, well I'm up for staying in tonight too."

"No, it's only noon, go out with the guys or something. Go visit Aaliyah and your parents. It's boring here and you've only got a few weeks until you have to go back on tour."

"I'm staying here. I'm not up for the guys and my parents are out of town at my aunt's place today." Shawn pulls his phone out and opens a site on his browser. "I'll get us some lunch, we can play some Mario kart, watch some movies, get drunk together and just do whatever."

"I am not getting drunk. I actually have to work tomorrow morning."

Shawn chuckles and puts his phone away. "I've got rumchata. I know you love that."

You roll your eyes. He truly knows how to get to you. Maybe a few shots wouldn't hurt, they could help you sleep. Maybe.

____________________

One shot turns into three and then three turns into five. After that you get a little wobbly and call it quits. Shawn however downs his sixth one and his six turns into wrestling.

You were cleaning the coffee table off, stacking paper plates from the pizza Shawn ordered and gathering up abandoned napkins. You were ready to call it quits for the day, turn in and sleep until nine tomorrow morning. You were truly ready to just be done but Shawn was not.

Just as you get the last napkin with cheese residue stuck to the center stacked on top of the pizza box with the paper plates you feel arms around your waist and the next thing you know you're being tossed into the back of the couch cushions.

"Shawn you dick!" You yell and he cackles from nearby. You regain your bearings and instinct kicks in. Having grown up with Shawn and your older brother, wrestling was nothing new. You had your fair share of throw downs with the big boys but it has been ages since it's happened. The instinct to fight back hasn't dwindled though and as soon as your feet hit the floor you're lunging at Shawn.

The two of you end up locked in a grappling match. He should have the upper hand, he's easily bigger than you and far more in shape than you ever dreamed to be. This should be a cakewalk for him but he's just on the more drunk side of tipsy and he's not focused. It's to your advantage because you drop your hands from his arms quick enough that he stumbles into you grabbing his waist and driving him back into the couch.

"You think you got me?" He laughs, arms curling around your chest as he lifts you up and over beside him.

Before you know it the two of you are on the floor, kicking the table askew, knocking over his stack of guitar cases. You're making a terrible mess and all because neither of you will submit.

Shawn rolls you over and pins you down by your forearms, legs hooked around yours. He has managed quite the effective pinning maneuver. You're impressed. "I win."

"You cheated."

"Did not!"

"Yes, you did."

He scowls and you laugh. He's so easy to rile up when he is a little drunk and riling him up means he loses focus. "You're just-"

You pull your arms away from his hold and push him up, making him fall back on his ass against the edge of the couch. He's quick to react to your little escape move. He snatches your shirt, pulling you into his lap and you collapse, chest in his face, legs straddling his thighs.

Silence befalls the apartment. Neither of you move. His warm breath ghosts through your hoodie, across your chest and his hands cup your ass from where he had attempted to stop you from getting away from again. The tension is palpable, suffocating even. Undoubtedly he can hear your heart, pounding rapidly in your chest. You're not sure what to do, how to make this feel normal.

Slowly you sink down, sitting on his lap and pulling yourself away from his face. He's red, flushed from forehead to neck. It's not from the alcohol. Your hands come to rest on his shoulders and he moves his hands from your butt, opting to hold your hips instead.

His lips are hot pink, mouth open just a bit as he stares at you, eyes darting between your eyes and lips. He's thinking the same thing, feeling the same way. Somehow you've both landed on the same page in this very moment.

"It's you." You mutter, saying the first thing that comes to mind. It doesn't make sense, really it shouldn't because you've said nothing about what he is.

He nods and leans in ever so slightly, soft smile playing at the corners of his mouth. He understands. "I know."

You slide your hands up the back of his neck, fingers twisting into his hair and he leans all the way in, lips connecting with yours. Blood rushes to your brain and you bring him closer, euphoria overtaking your body. The relief you feel is unlike anything else, like the weight of the world has been lifted off your shoulders.

"How long have you known?" You ask, pulling away just enough to press your head against his.

"Years, but the call, when you said you fell in love. I knew you were talking about me, I knew you were hiding it." He bumps his nose against yours. "I'm sorry I took so long to say anything."

You smile, letting out a little laugh as you do. "It's a two way street though. I never said anything either."

"Yeah." He slides his hands up your back. "Will you say it?"

"Say what?"

"You know what."

You duck your head and capture his lips for a moment. "I love you." He grins at the sound. "I love you Shawn Mendes."

Shawn squeezes you tight and kisses you hard and unabashedly. "I love you." He kisses your nose. "I love you from now until forever."

"Say swear to God."

He laughs and leans his head back on the couch, knowing you're teasing him. "I swear to God. Every God there is. I love you."

You sink down and lean your head on his chest, arms around his back. He raises his arms to hold you and you close your eyes. "I think I've always loved you," you say softly into his shoulder.

"Me too." He whispers back, body relaxing under yours. "Me too."

End

----------------------

Thank you for reading! Please reblog if you read, want to save for later, or enjoyed! - A

*****Note: none of my works should be posted anywhere outside of my linked accounts. I do not give permission to repost with or without credit to my accounts. Please notify me of any reposted fics.*****

#shawn mendes #shawn mendes fic #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes fanfiction #shawn mendes fan fic #shawn mendes fan fiction #shawn mendes oneshot #shawn mendes blurb #shawn mendes x reader #shawn mendes story #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes imagines #shawn mendes stories #shawn mendes words #shawn mendes fluff #shawn mendes fiction #shawn mendes non au

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david-talks-sw · 3 years

Text

About the supposed “dig at Rey” in the Mandalorian finale.

So a lot of people have taken to YouTube and social media, saying that Luke’s line about “talent without training (being) nothing” is a dig at Rey “bEcAuSe ShE’s A mArY sUe who’s good at everything and never trained!!”

No.

Quick recap: The Mandalorian is created by Jon Favreau, and he develops it with Dave Filoni (who created The Clone Wars with George Lucas, invented Ahsoka Tano, and created Star Wars: Rebels), among others.

As far as Dave is concerned, Rey is no different than Ahsoka, she’s not “OP”, she’s not a “Mary Sue”. He’s all for strong, independent, female characters.

He talked about this at the National Center for Women & Information Technology, you can find his full speech here. If you want to see the extracts specifically about Rey and female character in Star Wars, you can find it here (though I’d advise just ignoring the intentionally-triggering title and seeing the video for what it is).

All the backlash he saw about Rey? He saw it for Ahsoka too.

“Oh, she’s fighting Grievous and she’s only, like 13?! That’s so OP!”

“She feels like a Mary Sue written for a prequel based fan fiction.”

“Oh, she disobeyed an order from Yularen on Ryloth?! She’s so snippy!”

“Ugh, I hate her and her stupid voice!”

“She’s always pointing out stuff other characters have missed, like she’s so perfect! She's a Mary Sue with an annoying voice and personality.”

And honestly? I remember that period. People hated Ashley Eckstein and Ahsoka, just like they hated Hayden Christensen, and most Prequel-related content.

So no, that line is not a dig at Rey. If you expect that to ever come from Dave, big chance you’ll be disappointed. He is all for Rey, as a character (as am I, tbh). There may be issues with how she’s written, but none of it is related to her being too strong, or her being good at everything. Guess what? Captain America and Goku are good at everything too.

What The Mandalorian tackles, with that line, is a debate with bigger implications than just Grogu.

We get two sides of the same debate, from both Ahsoka, and Luke.

“I cannot train him. His attachment to you makes him vulnerable to his fears. His anger. I’ve seen what such feelings can do to a fully trained Jedi Knight. To the best of us. I will not start this child down that path. Better to let his abilities fade.”

“He is strong with the Force, but talent without training is nothing. I will give my life to protect the Child… but he will not be safe until he masters his abilities.“

The subject they really subliminally tackle is:

Should Anakin Skywalker have been trained to be a Jedi?

On the one hand:

Anakin has the potential of being the most powerful Force-user in galactic history, as the Jedi know it. It’s just a matter of time before he accidentally Force chokes someone in a fit of anger, or when submitted to extreme stress. He needs to be trained to hone his skills so he’s not a danger to himself and others.

Jedi Training would also help him get over the trauma of growing up as a slave on Tatooine, as it is aimed at keeping your emotions under control, whereas Anakin isn’t even acknowledging their existence (he pretends he’s not afraid in front of the Jedi Council, and seems to be the only person in the room to think that he should hide his fears). His hidden fears, his anger… Jedi Training would teach him to confront them.

Also, there’s a big chance the Sith are back! If they let this kid just go out into the wild, who knows, maybe the Sith Lords pick him up and make him one of their own. Better to keep the boy close.

Anakin is a good boy, raised by a loving mother, with a kind heart. If anything, he’s got the drive to do good as strong as that of any Jedi’s. Him being down-to-earth more than your average Jedi can potentially make him the best out of all of them. He could bridge the distance between the Jedi and the Senate, he could lead the Jedi into a new age. If anyone could be the next, better and improved Yoda, it’s Anakin Skywalker.

On the other hand:

Jedi training is for Jedi only. AKA, it’s perfect if you’re raised in the temple at a very young age to be a diplomat/wizard who upholds the values of the Republic, in control of your emotions and in Balance with the Force. But if you’re not? Then the strict rules of the Jedi Order will basically seem like an insurmountable (bordering on unreasonable) obstacle.

Any normal person will see these rules as attempting to turn you into a sociopath. Because if you’re a normal person, they might. For all intents and purposes, Anakin is a super-powerful normal person. If they take Anakin in, 10 years old, with the attachments he’s formed (his mother), the emotions he represses, the trauma from his upbringing - all of which, in a normal person, are totally fine and common - and try to force him in a mold he just won’t fit in, that’s just a recipe for disaster.

Of all people, Qui-Gon Jinn - Mister “I’m always right because I follow the Will of the Force and you don’t” - who is not the most forthcoming of people, as opposed to Obi-Wan, is insisting that he should train the boy. You give a chaotic Master a chaotic Padawan? That’s adding extra ingredients to the recipe for disaster.

The BEST thing to do would be Qui-Gon leaving the Order with Anakin, and raising Anakin as his surrogate son, teaching him his values, rather than training him as a Padawan and teaching him the values of the Jedi (which he’s too old for and which essentially make the Jedi the Senate’s lapdogs). But Qui-Gon’s insisting that he train him as a Jedi.

Anakin’s mind is too fragile as it is. If they add the stress of being a Jedi to that too, there’s a big chance he won’t be able to take it, and bring about the destruction of everything they are, stand for and care about.

And, to be honest? Both points are fair.

Because Anakin was both…

… the best of them…

… and their destructor.

But then, should Grogu be trained?

In my (and Luke’s) opinion? Yes.

Ahsoka’s logic makes sense… but it only applies to how things were before, back when the Jedi served the Republic as Force-sensitive diplomats/ambassadors, making decisions that impacted whole planets and their billions of inhabitants, keeping the peace through mediation, and occasionally investigating a crime.

But in Grogu’s case… things are a bit different.

The Republic is gone.

The Jedi’s mission of upholding its values seems to be gone with it.

So literally any surviving Jedi, has a new mission: just help people.

Be it Ezra & Kanan helping the Rebellion during the Dark Times.

Or Cal Kestis, saving the Force-sensitive children.

Or Ahsoka, helping the village of Calodan, after the fall of the Empire.

Or Luke, literally being a space-vagabond/Jedi archeologist for 10 years and helping out wherever and whoever he can.

The Jedi no longer have to deal with planet-sized problems, or mediations, or investigations, because the New Republic hasn’t included them in its government, seeing as they have their rangers, now.

So now, the pressure of “upholding the Republic’s values” and “going on missions which impact billions of lives” is gone.

Now, the Jedi operate at a smaller scale and just help people out. As they did, before they became Republic officials.

Sure, they still keep their emotions in control, but that’s simply for the sake of living a healthy life, rather than for the sake of objectiveness and diplomacy.

In these circumstances? It’s totally fine for Grogu to be trained, as he should be.

The line was about the fact that training Grogu to hone his skills is fine, and should be done, before he becomes a danger to everyone around him.

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whitecatindisguise · 4 years

Text

Silenced

I got inspired yet again! @wheredomelodiescomefrom, you, my friend, are the amazing artist and one providing one of the best inspirational pieces.

This oneshot in particular was inspired by this picture. Hope you guys enjoy it as much as I did writing it.

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Varian stared at the graphtyc laying on the workbench. He still didn't know why it was hidden in his father's room, along with the chest full of mysteries.

I mean-

When your father is a farmer, the last thing you expect to find amongst his things is the suit of armour with a peculiar symbol you didn't see before in your life.

So, yeah. Saying Varian's interest was piqued was a huge understatement. Adding to that he didn't have any way to ask his father about that... you probably get the idea.

Anyway... The graphtyc contained a part of the bigger scroll of some sort, seeing how the words and symbols cut off in the middle. Also, it was visibly torn apart. Yeah, that too.

It took him several days, filled with frustration and flying papers when he was stuck on a particularly puzzling phrase, but he finally had the scroll (or at least the part from the graphtyc) translated.

From what he had gathered, the black rocks were the manifestation of some 'great evil', which seemed to emerge after the Sundrop Flower was taken away. The same flower that, according to the scroll, was the only way to get rid of them.

Varian groaned and let his head hit the table in frustration. Ruddiger chittered anxiously from his spot on the side but the boy ignored him.

What if he knew how to take care of the black rocks if he couldn't do anything about it? Even if he knew where the Sundrop Flower was held (because he refused to believe the King simply got rid of the flower with such power; he must have stored it somewhere), there was no way he could just go and get it. Not with those masked men watching his every move and making sure he doesn't leave the village.

He didn't know who they were, but he could bet they were on the King's orders. No one else had any purpose in making his life even more miserable than it already was.

Coming back to the point of the Sundrop Flower... it was probably stored somewhere on the castle grounds. If only there was a way for him to get in unnoticed...

He trailed off as his thoughts moved to a certain long-haired princess with promise issues. Surely with character like hers, enjoying freedom and sneaking out, she must have known about some secret way in and out of the castle.

His eyes wandered to the bottle he fished out of the river not so long ago. It contained several drops of a potion which changed the personality of the unfortunate victim. With some minor adjustment, he should be able to convert it into a truth serum and use it to learn of the Flower's whereabouts. And once he knows that, he could use the Princess to get in and out with no problem. But how to convince her to help him...?

He looked back at the graphtyc and then turned to stare at the enormous monolith, the yellow bits barely visible under the cloth he covered it with. Yeah... he could work with that.

If his calculations were correct, the Princess birthday were approaching, meaning the Coronans would start leaving gifts and cards under the Princess statue. If he could send her the message using the lantern, telling her to come...

Varian worked quickly after that, scribbling a short and desperate-sounding note, securing it with the key to the graphtyc and tying the whole thing to the string attached to a lantern. He, then, took the graphtyc and looked around for a place to hide it.

It couldn't be too obvious, but, at the same time, couldn't be too difficult either. His eyes spotted the Flynn Rider shrine at the back of his lab and he grinned. He approached the spot and picked up one of the books. His heart hurt at what he was just about to do, but it was for a higher cause.

With a heavy heart, he cut out the hole in the middle of the pages and pushed the graphtyc inside. Then, he closed the book and put it exactly in the middle of the shrine. There, that will do it.

With everything ready, he waited until the early night hours and then carefully sneaked out of the house. Ruddiger was anxious at letting him go, but Varian was certain it would be easier for him to do it alone, even if he himself felt a little too anxious.

He creeped through the abandoned village, eyes and ears open for any movements and sounds. Ever since the villagers left, Old Corona felt more eerie at night. Black rocks sprouting all around only added to the creepy atmosphere. Varian repressed a shudder as he continued down the empty streets, the lantern and the message cradled in his arms.

He was almost out of the village, when he felt someone suddenly grab him by the arm and pull him back. He fell to the ground with a startled yelp, the lantern falling out of his hands.

"And where do you think you're going?" A masked man appeared in his corner of vision, towering over the laying boy.

Varian froze up, terror overwhelming his movements. He heard another man shuffle around and, with horror, he noticed him pick up the lantern and unseal the letter.

"What is the meaning of this?!" The man holding the letter approached the boy and he shuffled back, terrified.

"P-please, no!" He cried, already feeling the tears welling in his eyes.

The man reached out and pulled him up roughly. Varian let out a pained yelp and tried to escape the hold, only for the grip to harden.

"Where. Is. The. Graphtyc?" The man seethed, shaking the poor alchemist.

"N-no, please." Varian's voice trembled with fear. They couldn't get the scroll. It was the only way to persuade Rapunzel to help him. And it belonged to DAD.

"It's probably somewhere in his lab." The other man said and the one holding Varian hummed thoughtfully.

"You're right." He nodded and turned his attention back to Varian. "So, here is how it's gonna be, kid. You can either tell us where did you hid the graphtyc, or watch us turn your whole lab upside down to find it."

Varian's eyes widened at the implication and he stared with horror at the man. His mind was already showing him the visions of how the lab would look like if he didn't cooperate. Spilled chemicals, destroyed experiments, unusable instruments...

"P-please..." He begged, eyes filled with tears.

"Where. Is. It?!" The man shook him again and Varian cried both in pain and realisation.

~~~~~~

Varian sobbed quietly, held by under the elbow by one of the masked men. His arms were bound behind his back, a gag tied around his mouth, the taste of material filling him from the inside.

The man who held him had the graphtyc in his hand, the other keeping the lantern and the letter. Varian heard the sounds of wheels and his heart dropped. The prison cart appeared at the entrance to the village, driven by another one of the masked men.

The cart stopped and Varian was roughly pushed inside, stumbling and falling to the wooden floor. The door were locked and he heard the men exchanging some words with the driver, before the cart was moving again.

Varian shuffled towards the corner of the cart and leaned against the wall. He missed Ruddiger already, but didn't regret telling the raccoon to run. He only hoped his only friend was safe and not captured by the men, like he was.

After quite some time, the cart rolled to a stop and the door were opened once again. He was dragged out of the cart and roughly pulled through the dark corridors of the castle, finally finding himself in the deepest part of the dungeons.

One of the guards unlocked the door, while the other unbound his arms and pushed the terrified boy inside, before the door locked again. Varian stumbled to his feet and ran up to the wooden door, pounding on them desperately.

"No! Please! Let me out!" He cried, fist hitting the wood. "I only wanted to help! I only wanted the king to listen!"

"Save your breath, kid." The guard at the other side of the door growled. "No one will hear you here, anyway."

Varian heard the guards laugh and their footsteps started to ebb.

"No! Please! Don't leave me here!" He cried more desperately. He heard the guards ascend the stairs, the door opening and closing, the lock turning.

He cried for several more hours, his voice becoming hoarse, his hands starting to bleed from the pounding on the door. He didn't hear any more sounds than those he made himself.

Finally, worn out by his desperate attempts, he slid to the cold floor and hugged himself, crying over his fate.

Yet, another enemy of the King was silenced.

#varian #masked men #ruddiger #quest for varian what if scenario #art inspiration #angst #imprisonment #variangst #kitty mom writes

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sourbat · 3 years

Text

Here’s a little ficlet I wrote today. Please give it a little glance, and let me know what you think :)

Summary: Nathan listens in on an intimate conversation and becomes increasingly jealous over it.

Pair: Magnus/Toki

Toki’s never been one to leave his door closed for long. Nathan is used to passing by the small room, sometimes at the earliest hours of the morning, and finds the door agape, lighting aglow and showing off the interworking of Toki’s short, erratic attention span. He’s seen Toki hunched at his desk, indulged in the time-consuming process of building model planes, and he’s seen Toki rolling all over the floor, tossing his controller and screaming at the television screen. There is Toki coloring, tossing his crayons against the wall and complaining about the mess he made with his stuffed animals. Front row seats to Toki rocking. Toki dissecting his actions figures. Toki purposefully breaking his things. There are nights where Toki frantically rearranges his room, and times where Nathan approaches the stretched light and hears the young man muttering, but often pitifully whining, in another language. There are cold, silent nights where the door is closed, and Nathan can still pick up the sounds of whimpers and stifled cries. There are instances where Nathan knocks, fewer where he enters and talks to the guy. Sometimes Nathan cleans. Picks up robots with missing legs, or ones that contain screws where they shouldn’t be. Most of the time, Nathan continues onward, leaving Toki to his devices.

It’s nearing one in the morning when Nathan’s throat tires, and concludes another successful night recording lines with Pickles. After they split, Nathan enters the familiar hallway that eventually leads to his room, and on his way, finds the long, dim light emitting from Toki’s bedroom. Like before, he thinks little of the dimly lit room, but notices a gentle sound emitting from it as he approaches.

Kid is sleep at the desk, he thinks when he catches something muffled, something that sounds like slow breathing. The thought to turn off the lamplight and let Toki sleep uninterrupted arises, and Nathan considers it as he reaches the room, figuring if the floor isn’t covered with too much crap, he’ll give Toki a break this time. His pace slows as he heads for the door, footsteps adjusting and soles rolling to muffle his sounds, and when he gets close, Nathan picks up on a conversation.

“…milks and apples?”

Toki’s talking. He’s whispering to someone. A conversation centered on food.

Nathan readies his hand, already thinking to tell Toki it’s getting late, too late for a midnight snack, but a raspy chuckle stops him.

“Hold up, dude. We got one paragraph left.”

It’s Magnus’ voice.

Nathan’s chest tightens, muscles instinctively bracing for an incoming attack that won’t happen. Magnus isn’t here, not really, but his mere presence taking the form of some voice over the phone is enough to make Nathan’s bottom jaw ache from the subconscious grind.

Nathan withdraws from the door, furthers himself away until he can barely register the conversation taking place. No, not a conversation. He picks up on Magnus’ voice, the solidity and clarity as he carefully pronounces each word. It’s a recital. It’s him narrating. It’s Magnus telling Toki the story of a bunch of dumb animals trying to run a farm, and in all likelihood, it’s also Magnus trying to induct Toki in his bullshit philosophy.

It’s a few sentences of Magnus gently concluding a chapter to a fatigued Toki, and by the time Nathan remembers the finer details, the windmill and Magnus ranting about how their country will end up in the same sad state as the farm, it’s over. There’s silence, the sounds of Toki shifting in his bed, and Nathan draws closer.

“Alright, we’re done with chapter 3. What do you think?”

A pause. Nathan worries Toki will confess to a lack of understanding, but then he suddenly speaks up. “Don’t thinks it ams fair the pigs gets all the apples.”

Another chuckle. “Well, I don’t think it’s fair either.”

A blanket kicks up. Something folds. The mattress groans. “I thinks all the animals should be sharins,” he hears Toki say into the phone.

“I feel the same way, Toke.”

“Why didn’ts them pigs share, Magnus?”

A simple, but foolish question, Nathan thinks. It suggests more than a lack of understanding, but gives away that Toki doesn’t comprehend the deeper layers, and that this is just a story about talking animals for him. Nathan’s bottom lip curls inward as he relives a memory of Magnus lying on top of the sofa, pages held open with thumb and pinky. Magnus tells him of a dystopian future where everyone’s at the bottom, where there are worker bees and handful of queens at the very top. Metaphor after metaphor, and Magnus peeling off his jacket because he’s so excited, tongue tripping at the increasing velocity of his words.

Nathan remembers, and admired that side of Magnus. Magnus, who always had something to say, who unleashed a crashing wave of information that, although incomprehensible to Nathan, sounded good. The man had passion, to say the least. Only problem was him constantly trying to insert it, to force it into Nathan’s head, his thoughts and his message. Cram. Shove. Jam. Hammer it all in, and when none of it stuck, and Nathan never applied, Manus got mad. Grew cold, distant and resentful.

Poor Toki, Nathan thinks, and awaits Magnus’ vengeful attack on the kid’s lack of intelligence.

“Well... why do you think the pigs won’t share?”

The question takes Nathan by surprise. He almost second guesses, thinks maybe it was Toki who asked, but then hears Toki hum aloud and guess it’s because the pigs want to keep the good tasting food for themselves, which is why they lied in the first place. Nathan hears another chuckle, this one louder, and approving.

“So, you know they’re lying?”

There’s a giggle from Toki. “Ams not a very good excuse,” he says. Magnus agrees, tells Toki he’s on to something, and the compliment earns stupid little noise from Toki. “I wonder if them animals will change their minds abouts them pigs…”

“You’ll have to wait later, man.”

“Oh, why nots now?”

“My break ends in about five,” Magnus replies. Nathan hears the disappointing sigh emitting from Toki. He hates to hear it. He hates knowing the rise it gives Magnus knowing Toki wants him to continue reading. The silence in the air hangs low, affecting everyone. “We’ll talk more about apples and the farm later, when you’re awake, alright?”

“Oh, okays.” More blankets shift as Toki nears the phone. Or maybe he’s holding on to the phone. Nathan has his back to the wall, eyes looking away from the light, from the intimate scene he never should’ve listened in on. “I likes the story so far. Even though them pigs ams kinda fishy, the horses and other animals ams nice.”

“I’m glad you like it.”

Strange to hear his voice so soft, so gentle and accepting of another man’s limitations. Even weirder to hear Magnus compliment the horse. Last he remembered, Magnus hated the horse. Nathan grimaces at yet another memory that dared to rise from his personal, repressed storage. He crushes it before it can take form, but Nathans still wonders where the hell was this version of Magnus 17 years ago?

“Well, time’s almost up.”

“Thanks you for readins to me,” Toki chirps. Magnus tells the kid no problem, and Nathan silently gags at the sound Toki makes. A loud, audible smack. He’s kissing the damn phone. Really, Toki? “G’night, Magnus.”

“Sweet dreams, Toki.”

Nathan stares out, mind dwelling on the conversation. Where’s the damn cross comparison, the conspiracy and literary theories, and that long rave about how ignorant Toki was for not considering the “bigger picture?” Why wasn’t Magnus mad at Toki for asking such a dumb question? Why was it that he got yelled at for not understanding Magnus, for crushing his vision, for not appreciating his contribution and message, but Toki gets to be read to, gets to ask stupid questions and earns warm appraisals for coming up with half-assed responses? Where is the fairness in that?

Nathan blinks, and realizes it’s silent. The air is still and lacking the warm glow from before, and the stone wall pressed against his back emits its solid, unforgiving chill. The light in Toki’s room is off, and was likely turned off the moment the call ended, and now it’s just him, standing alone in the dark, obsessed over the memory of a man who no longer existed.

Nathan hangs his head low. No fair. I at least knew it wasn’t about animals.

#magnus hammersmith #toki wartooth #nathan explosion #magtok #hammertooth #implied magnate???#metalocalypse #fanfic #needs editing

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annerbhp · 4 years

Text

Lucky

- part one - part two - part three - part four -

Part Five

Ginny hasn’t heard a word from Harry since the day he asked her to the party. They’ve bumped into each other occasionally in the halls, but usually going opposite directions and in a rush to get to class.

She would wonder if he’s changed his mind, but he always smiles at her before disappearing off with her brother or Hermione—depending which shift he’s on at the time. So he doesn’t seem to be rethinking it, as far as she can tell.

She’s pushed forward with it all, sending an owl to her mum asking for a set of dress robes. Which Molly had definitely come through on, sending a gorgeous set of dark blue, slightly sparkly robes that are clearly meant to make up for the new broom Ginny wouldn’t let her parents buy for her.

They are easily the most extravagant robes she’s ever owned, and she would wonder if Molly somehow figured out just who her date is somehow, but shoves the thought aside.

“There,” Antonia says, leaning back from her face with a final flick of her wand. “I suppose you’ll do.”

Ginny turns to look at herself in the mirror. Her hair has been pulled half back, the rest hanging long in soft curls around her shoulders. Surely even Fleur would approve. Eyeliner and a golden dust of eye shadow make her eyes seem bigger than normal, a soft blush on her cheeks matching the light pink of her lips.

“Okay?” Antonia says.

“Amazing,” Ginny says. “I hardly look like me.”

Antonia rolls her eyes. “You just mean not wearing a ponytail and covered in sweat and dirt from practice.”

Ginny laughs. “Well, let’s hope my date can actually recognize me, or I might have to go alone.”

“I’m sure Harry will have no problem recognizing you.”

“Ah, but will I survive the scrutiny of being The Chosen One’s date?”

Antonia laughs. “I have faith in your ability to persevere. Now, should we go before our dates give up on us?”

She nods, nerves erupting in her stomach. “I guess so.”

They leave the seventh-year girl’s dorms, climbing up to the common room. There’s quite a few people milling about, some dressed and ready for the party like Hestia and Flora, others just watching the spectacle unfold. Zabini is impeccably dressed with Pansy on his arm, both looking slightly bored, like they are well above all of this, despite how aware they must be of the jealousy of other students without invitations. Pansy will no doubt lord it over anyone she can for the next month at least.

Antonia doesn’t even pause, the two of them going straight for the exit after giving Hestia and Flora waves. Lucas and Harry should be waiting for them there.

Feeling silly for doing it, Ginny still pauses at the door, taking a deep breath before stepping out.

The first person she sees is Lucas, wearing a rather daring shade of aubergine with what looks like copper trim. Her gaze doesn’t linger long enough to find out, because a few steps farther away stands Harry.

He’s is actually here. She tells herself this swell of relief is mostly to have to avoid the humiliation of being stood up so publicly. Yet another awkward aspect of going with Harry is knowing that everyone is watching. She’s been the recipient of more than one snide remark the last week as word finally leaked out about Ginny and Harry going together.

He’s wearing a smart set of dark green robes, his tie slightly askew as if he’s been tugging at it. The smile that spread across her face at first seeing him fades as he continues to stare at her, without speaking, his eyes wide.

“Ladies,” Lucas says, giving them a slightly absurd courtly bow. “You are looking exceptionally beautiful tonight.”

Antonia laughs. “Not as beautiful as you.”

“Yes, well, that would be impossible.”

Harry still hasn’t said anything, eyes sliding over to Lucas and Antonia as if he’s only just noticed them.

Lifting the hem of her robes, Ginny crosses over to Harry. “Hey,” she says, hoping her voice won’t betray her nerves.

“Hey,” he breathes out, smiling at her. “You’re, I mean, that’s a nice—” His eyes dart down to her dress only to immediately lift back to her face as if caught doing something wrong. He tugs at his collar, setting it even more askew.

Lucas looks between them, leaning into Ginny. “I think he’s trying to tell you how beautiful you look.”

Antonia gives him a repressive glance, sliding her hand into the crook of his arm and steering him down the hall.

“What?” Lucas says. “We’d be standing here all night, rate he was going.”

Harry looks comically annoyed and Ginny can’t help but laugh, probably just her nerves looking for any way out, and she finds herself folding her arms in front of her and leaning over in her mirth. “Merlin,” she says, feeling tears prick her eyes. “I’ll ruin my makeup.”

Straightening up, she looks at Harry, who is looking rather sheepish.

“You do look really…” he tries again.

“Nice?” she asks, grinning up at him.

He blows out a breath, seeming happy to laugh at himself. “Yeah.” He flaps a hand. “Floaty.”

She rolls her eyes. “Should we?” She gestures after Antonia and Lucas.

He gives her a faux bow, holding his arm out with exaggerated pretentiousness. She’s still laughing as she slips her hand into the crook of his elbow and follows after Antonia and Lucas.

“So,” Ginny says. “Time to place bets on the most salacious things to happen this evening.”

Harry slides her a look. “You mean like will the vampire forget himself and eat someone at the dinner table?”

She nods. “Or just how ridiculous on a scale of Lockhart-to-Trelawny Slughorn’s outfit will be?”

It turns out the rooms themselves are ostentatious enough to win the award on its own. The whole place has been draped with rich fabrics and hanging fairy lights with house elves wandering through with platters of food. It’s overwhelming and almost a little hard to look at.

“Subtle,” Ginny says, Harry snorting in response.

They no more than step through the door when Slughorn falls upon Harry, fawning over him and his excellent choice of companionship. And then he’s seizing him, pulling him off to introduce him to all of the guests, which seems to include a few members of the Weird Sisters and, yes, an actual vampire.

Harry gives Ginny a panicked look back over his shoulder as Slughorn drags him off, his hand groping for hers, pulling her along. He seems very intent on not losing her, so Ginny does her best to stay by his side through the series of introductions, most of which seem to be specifically aimed at being as unbearable for Harry as possible. She stands with him, her hand still firmly in his until it seems like Harry’s patience has been completely depleted.

She looks over the vampire’s head, ignoring the way he’s been staring at her neck, and waves her hand animatedly.

“Oh, Harry,” she says in a breathless voice, hanging on his arm like she’s completely helpless, “I just have to go see Flora!” She smiles up at the wizards. “You don’t mind, right?”

“Oh, no, no! Of course not!” they say, smiling at her like she’s a vacant child. “Take your escort, my dear.”

“Ah, young love,” Slughorn belts loudly as they make their escape.

“You are a life saver,” Harry mutters, his ears burning red.

“Well, I did promise to save you from Slughorn.”

They bump into Hermione as they make their escape, grabbing a few tasty looking treats on their way.

Hermione nearly yelps as they bump into her, her hair and robes disheveled. “Oh, it’s you!” she says with real relief. Then she looks between them. “You look well together.”

Harry darts Ginny a look before turning back to Hermione. “What’s wrong?”

“Wrong?” Hermione says, pulling her sleeve back into place. “Oh, just Cormac. He’s a bit…persistent.”

“Need me to take care of him for you?” Ginny offers.

Both Harry and Hermione look at her, seeming a bit alarmed.

“No need for that,” Hermione says. “I just need to—oh, no. Here he comes. Have a nice time!” And then she’s gone.

“I don’t know what she was thinking,” Ginny says. Having been on a handful of handsy dates herself, she knows how awful they can be.

“Mostly about getting back at Ron,” Harry says with a sigh.

Ginny shakes her head. “Lovely.”

They start moving through the crowd again, Ginny angling them away from Slughorn as best she can. She only realizes her hand is still firmly held in Harry’s when she’s able to tug him in a new direction when she sees them heading straight for Melinda Bobbin.

“Trust me,” Ginny says in an undertone when he looks at her in question. “That’s the last thing we need tonight.”

They end up tucked away in a corner, almost obscured by thick folds of fabric, happily dissecting the Hufflepuff-Ravenclaw match from the weekend before as they finish off their stash of snacks. Ginny’s team will have to face Ravenclaw right after the holidays.

“Their Keeper is the weak spot, I think,” Harry observes.

Ginny nods. It’ll really be a matter of slowing the game down enough to get their hands on the Quaffle. Her Beaters are going to have step up.

“We’re well matched at Seeker at least,” Ginny says.

“Dunno,” Harry says, sounding unconvinced.

She peers up at him. “You think Cho is that strong?” she asks, only partly wondering if this is some lingering loyalty to the girl.

Harry gives her a strange look, shaking his head. “No. The opposite. After all, I’ve learned not to underestimate Reiko.”

Ginny smiles. “Has she tracked you down and forced you into a Quidditch talk since the last match?”

Harry laughs, not seeming all that put out. “Once or twice.”

Ginny isn’t all that surprised. Once Harry proved that he wasn’t just messing with her, Reiko would no doubt throw off all hesitation at bugging Harry endlessly. “You brought that on yourself, Mr. Altruistic,” she says, pushing at his arm.

He catches his fingers in an attempt to defend himself. “I suppose I did.”

He doesn’t let go of her hand, and she finds she doesn’t mind.

“Thanks for coming with me,” he blurts.

“You were right. This is fun.” More fun than she would have expected.

He smiles, his thumb brushing along the back of her hand and sending an avalanche of goosebumps up her arm. “Good,” he says, voice quiet. “Probably would have been pretty unbearable without you.”

“Oh,” she says, trying to ignore the warmth in her chest. “I have no doubt of your ability to defend yourself.”

“Maybe,” he says, head tilted down towards her.

Their eyes catch and hold, the two of them just looking at each other, and she is suddenly very aware of how close they’re standing, the warmth of his body next to hers.

A peal of laughter nearby has them both jumping apart.

Harry clears his throat, tugging at his poor abused collar. “Uh, why don’t I get you a drink?”

She nods. “Yeah. That’d be nice,” she says, thinking she wouldn’t mind a minute to pull herself together. “But first…” She reaches up, tugging his tie straight, running a hand down to make his lapel lie flat.

“Oh, uh, thanks,” he says, and Ginny feels a little foolish, pulling her hands back. What had possessed her to touch him like that?

She watches him walk off, or escape more likely. But then he sends a smile back her direction as he makes his way to the drinks table, almost running into a miffed-looking Pansy as he does.

Ginny looks away, biting back a laugh. Maybe coming with Harry wasn’t the worst idea after all.

A few moments later, there’s a bit of a to do near the entrance, Ginny craning her neck in time to see Filch dragging Draco in by the scruff. “Caught him trying to sneak into the party,” he says, loud enough for most people to hear.

Draco looks so mortified and pissed off that Ginny almost feels sorry for him, everyone clearly gawking and reveling in his humiliation. Slughorn, for all he clearly finds the Malfoy’s ‘uncollectible’, seems open to showing mercy, but then Snape is there, leading Draco away.

The room is loud with whispers as everyone processes what just happened. Ginny looks around for Harry, but he’s not by the drink table anymore. She frowns, scanning the room, and there he is, heading straight for the exit.

Leaving Ginny on her own.

#i give up #this might as well happen #lucky #hinny #annerbfic

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captainxsassafras · 3 years

Text

Ok, I know it's an absolutely ridiculous scenario, but I think with Mirko it might actually work because she's bullheaded and aggressive enough to decide she knows better (not necessarily a criticism! 😚) BUT

I've just got it in my head that she's becoming fast friends with Keigo (I just love them as friends ok? I think they'd get up to all sorts of shenanigans and somehow manage to accidentally be heroic while going about it!). But what if you're also friends with her. Then you let her know you've been feeling kinda lonely lately. She decides this is your way of saying you need to get laid. Then she sees that Keigo is antsy or tired or touch-starved (we all know he is) or whatever, maybe she thinks he's feeling lonely too. And she decides that he needs to get laid too! Well, what do you know! She has two (2) friends who need to get laid! How perfect is that! Simple, she'll just introduce you (it does hurt that she realized you've got nice and complementary personalities and she thinks you two will just have a good time together!), leave you two alone, and BANG (literally)! Problem solved. You're less lonely (Mirko mind: less horny), Keigo's less... Whatever (Mirko mind: horny). Everyone can be more relaxed and less cranky or whatever AND two of her friends got a fun, pleasurable time out of it!

Things do not go as planned. When you said you were feeling lonely, you meant you'd were wanting intimacy and closeness, not necessarily a one night stand. Keigo had been feeling kinda horny lately (Ohohohohoh, but what if his rut is approaching, whole new layer of madness!), but more than that he's just feeling a bit restless and wanting to move around a lot (ok, fine, he doesn't realize it, but he is actually really touch-starved, so he's really just been aching for some good old fashioned affection, but he grew up emotionally repressed (i.e. the commission taught him to ignore desires for intimacy) so he doesn't even recognize his own system yearning for closeness).

AND when Mirko finally does introduce you two and just leaves you two alone at Keigo's apartment (I'm assuming it's bigger and generally a bit nicer things than yours), you just... Don't actually fuck. Especially because Mirko is very straightforward and basically said, ' Alright now go get laid. Have fun you two!' like the weird mom in Mean Girls. Now there's pressure! You can't fuck under that kind of pressure! (I mean, I'm sure you can, but if someone basically ordered me to go get laid, I'm pretty sure I'd take care of it myself just to spite them. 😜)

And you're like, "Sorry, homeboy. I just went along because Rumi said there was food. (Or whatever so your primary motivator.) I didn't really come here to fuck."

And Keigo's is like, "You know, I'm actually not in the mood to fuck a stranger, as cute as you are. Wanna order some takeout and watch a movie?"

(These are obviously ad-libbed, I'm just getting ideas out!)

So the two of you end up cuddling on the couch and you both sate your intense desire to snuggle and be close to someone, but.... It just doesn't stop there? You keep in contact and end up cuddling together very often. And obviously you both find each other attractive (because while I'm a cuddly ho, I'm also a horny one). But you both love snuggling together you don't really want to cross that boundary in case the other doesn't feel the same way. And you become good friends, but MOTHERFUCKING HELL the sexual tension is killing the two of you! But neither wants to break it!

And now Rumi is even more irritated than before because the two of you are even more cranky than before (but also weirdly happy. It's like a horny, cranky happiness because you two enjoy each others' company, but really wanna fuck???), but you won't fuck (she can tell. She may be straightforward and direct, but she can pick up on those subtleties (read: you two are NOT subtle, you're just very dense when it comes to the others' feelings)). And finally, she barges in on the two of you cuddling and just straight up asks, the two of you still entwined so closely that anyone watching would have sworn you were getting sexy, "Hawks, do you want to fuck y/n?" And he isn't ready for it and fidgets and deflects until Rumi is ready to strangle him. And finally he mumbles out, "Yeah."

"How much?"

"What?"

"How badly do you want to fuck them? How long have you wanted to fuck them? How fucking horny are you for them? Give them details! They need to know how you feel, you dumbass!"

And he breaks like a dam! It all spills out. How absolutely fucking horny he is for you all the time. How he has to be so careful when he's cuddling you or you'll get a ride straight to cuddly bonertown. How he can't stop thinking about you. How badly he wants to rail you into the mattress. How much he wants to snugglefuck you to pieces. How he wants to fuck you on every single surface of this apartment, the fuck you again in the bathtub while you're relaxing afterward. And if you're really lucky, he even let's slip how he touches himself (probs like every night if not more) to thoughts of you (very bashful and quiet, because he doesn't want you to think he's a creep).

(Rumi left a long time ago because she's not about to be in the middle of what comes next. She's knows you feel the exact same way.)

And then Hawks runs out of things to say. He's told you everything and you've been quiet (and of course you two are still tangled up together from snuggle time) watching him with rapt attention because dammit you are so fucking elated he wants to fuck you as badly as you want to fuck him, but you also want to keep listening to him because it just keeps adding on to the ecstasy of mutual desire!

And then, feeling nervous cause you haven't said anything, he shifts and you feel it. That beautiful boner saying hello to you right after he'd confessed that he wanted to make wild, wild love to you.

And then, you're pulling him close and kissing him as eagerly as he is you and in between kisses you're murmuring out how badly you've wanted to fuck him for ages, but how you wanted to be friends, but maybe you wanted to date him to, but you were also really really horny and it's so hot that he gets boners fr snuggling you. And he's laughing delightedly and telling you he gets boners from more than cuddling you. It's pretty much everything about you.

Naturally, the two of you go wild and make love everywhere, everywhen, and in as many different positions as you can imagine (and when you run out there's always google).

And Rumi now thinks she's a matchmaking goddess and uses this newfound power to wreak havoc with the lives of her fellow pros!

(Bonus points: she's actually surprisingly good at it?)

(Extra bonus points: if Keigo was close to his rut and that's why he felt antsy before, I can only say with the fullest confidence, that the lustful happiness of finding out you both were in delightfully horny love with each other would 100% send him dick-first in an early rut and that's a whole 'nother story.)

And of course, you and Keigo live happily ever after in horny, snuggly, sexy bliss.

@queensynderella @heyitswhiplash @lovekeigo @keilemlucent @mindninjax I feel like this is an idea y'all could get behind! 😘

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jackals-ships · 3 years

Note

Power kiss at a party for Space Pirates <3< owo?

THIS TOOK SO SO LONG BC I KEPT HAVING TO PAUSE AND COVER MY DUMB GAY FACE (also i went with power as like....Show Of Power n hopefully this captured it jfkfkd)

Content: 2,602 words. 3rd person pov of dog an dual pitch flirting, i continue with the HC of duals name being cronus. a v brief argument between the two before they make up and a brief scene of alcohol consumption

also tags @ the end so if y'all want to be tagged lmk ! i. may have lost my list. again

You were reasonably sure this was not how the evening was supposed to go. Oh it had started simply enough, well technically...it had started several weeks ago you supposed.

The door to your room was unceremoniously thrown open by one Orphaner Dualscar who quickly followed up the action by flinging himself into your bed. You didn't even bother looking up from the datapad, just placed your hand between his horns as he wormed his way closer, his head ending up flopped into your lap. "mmmmmfhjb."

"Hm?" You flicked at the base of his left horn, earning you an annoyed squint before a heavy sigh.

"Meenah called." Routine enough, she was the empress and his matesprit. "There's a party in about a perigee." Oh a party sounded ni- "'s a bunch of stuck up assholes all vwying to suck her bulge to get up in the vworld." Aaand there it was.

"So you're gonna be gone for a bit then I assume? I'll make sure the ship doesn't burn down-"

"You're coming vwith me."

"......excuse me."

You always forgot how fast the stupid old rat could move, until he was straddling your hips with his face so terribly close to yours and mouth curled in a wicked snarl. If you were anyone else you would have simply died from fright. As it was you were focused on the fact you could just….close the gap between your lips so easily. "If I havwe to deal with these stupid fucking prissy lil vwrigglers you're suffering through it vwith me."

There was a pregnant pause as he growled low in his chest. You broke it by flicking his nose, watching him jerk back and wrinkle it. "Fine. You'll have to teach me to dance however. Kurloz taught me dances but they're….hm. Not suitable for the type of party I imagine we'll be attending."

(you did end up closing the gap for a kiss after, grumbling at him to watch his stupid fuckin teeth when he bit at you)

---

Once you had arrived at the party you already wanted to leave. Or call Kurloz to lighten the atmosphere. Void you had thought he was exaggerating but no.

They were all fawning over Meenah like their lives literally depended on it. (...you chose not to think about the fact that. may actually be the case. the less you think about troll politics the better.)

You shoved that thought away as you downed the champagne (?) they gave you and- oh void why did it burn. Why were seadwellers like this?? You had thought Dualscar drinking gasoline was a him thing but apparently fucking not.

Speak of the devil, his hand ended up on your back rubbing circles while you coughed. "Sorry, should havwe vwarned ya. 'S pretty strong."

"Yeah no fucking shit. Is that why there's so few of you assholes, you all kill yourself on this." His hand tensed, claws sinking briefly into your back where they had been careful just a moment before, and you realized your mouth ran off without you again. "Shit. Shit. Sorry, just…" You gestured a little as he slowly relaxed again.

"Tsh. Ya I get it. This...used tae be my kind of thing. Not reely anymore." He looked almost wistful for a moment before shaking his head. It made the golden chains in his earfins and on his horns clink softly. "Shit I used tae evwen get all kinds of fancy like the rest of these idiots."

…….you made a mental note to badger Meenah for photographic evidence. Or go snooping. Fuck you couldn't imagine the man more dressed up. As is he was practically drowning in gold, wearing rings he hardly ever pulled out, a choker you had to help him put on and you were terrified of tearing the delicate lacing. And the dress….fuck the dress.

You had of course seen him in them before, when he wasn't on the ship he seemed to prefer them. The ones he kept to however were more..relaxed affairs. Sundresses if the planet you went to was sweltering. Sleek black and purple dresses for out and about. Maybe one with a slit in the leg if he was feeling particularly risque.

It was silver in contrast to both the rest of the ensemble and the pitch of his skin. The bodice was done up in a pattern similar to that intricate lacing but thankfully far more sturdy. The train was cut in a way to not drag over much but more...swish after him, almost like his tail did when he was feeling especially restless. It was also a sleeveless affair as well, showing off the muscle he'd had hundred of sweeps to define and marred by the occasional sweeping scar.

(there is one on his shoulder that you trace sometimes. it was the first time you had fought each other with the intent to hurt. you had meant to just swipe at him but the damned thing slipped and and)

Oh his hand was on your chin instead now, tilting your head up to look at him. He was looking at you with a vague air of concern but you just smiled and shook your head. "M fine. Really. You should go….flirt with Meenah or whatever shit you're supposed to be doing instead of hoverin round me like a lusus." That earned you a half hearted swat at your cheek before he left you to your thinking.

..you absolutely did not stare at his back as he left. Damn seadwellers. Damn them and their stupid dorsal fins that make their stupid dresses backless.

Fuck you wanted this night to be over so badly. But there was still socializing to do and dancing later apparently. From what you were told it would only be the bigger ups and their quadrant-mates. You, being human, were of course banned from the whole affair. Just meant you could watch him move instead….

---

"Okay. Why are we doing this. You told me I wouldn't actually be taking part in the dance so?" You had had your dance clothes tossed at your head before being told to come above deck.

You could have ignored him of course, possibly should have, but then he would have just whimpered at you like a kicked pup.

For his part Cro was topless, dressed in just a pair of loose breeches and not even wearing any shoes, his tail flicking back and forth idly. "You don't havwe ta dance but I do. It's been...avwhile. So I need someone ta practice vwith."

"We've established I don't know how to dance like that."

"Yeah no shit. 'S vwhy I'm gonna teach ya."

"....you intend. To practice your dancing. Via teaching me."

"There a problem vwith that doll?" His brow was quirked and he had a barely repressed smirk. Oh there was definitely something going on. You didn't know what, but something was fishy. And this time it wasn't Amshora. Ampora. Fuck. Stupid seadwellers an their stupid fishy puns.

"... alright. Fine." How terrible could it be after all?

….

Oh right. You were incredibly gay.

Even in your boots you were roughly eye level with his chest and his hand was cool against your lower back. The position was. It felt far far too intimate for something done above deck.

This meant that even though you found the waltz almost comically simple in comparison to some of the dances you had learned you kept tripping over your own feet. Cronus, of course, kept making the situation worse for you by snipping and making snarky comments. (you knew him well enough by this point to know when it was his attempt to hide his own flustered emotions. it didn't make it any less annoying however.)

"Honestly I don't know vwhy you're havwing such a hard time vwith this. It's practically a child's fuckin dance compared to the stupid shit the church taught ya." That finally made your temper flare and shove him onto his ass.

"Have you considered you're just a shitty fucking teacher Captain? Or that you're getting too-" Your teeth practically clicked as you snapped your jaw shut, Cronus looking up at you with a completely neutral expression that made you feel sick.

"...too vwhat Dog. Go on. Fin-ish vwhat you vwere gonna say, it's rude after all to keep your Captain vwaiting."

"No I'm. I'm sorry. That was crossing a line." His hand was cool in yours again as you tugged him back to his feet. "..show me again? Slower this time? Please?" His expression was still distant but he walked you slower through the steps now.

(later you would apologize again, littering him with bites and kisses. and he would laugh, call you a fuckin menace before snapping razor sharp teeth back at you.)

---

Soon enough it came time for the dancing and you thanked the Messiah's for having mercy on you. One more backhanded compliment or thinly veiled threat and you would be deeply considering breaking a chair over someone's skull.

You lounged in a chair as you looked for Ampora. If it was with his quadrant he'd be with The Empress….who was...oh there she was.

Wait.

Why was she breaking the dance to come towards you-? "Guppy! There you are!" You liked Meenah fine enough sure but that didn't mean she didn't terrify you. "You know quads are supposed to dance together!"

Her hand was even colder than Dual's as she grabbed yours, practically bodily dragging you out of your chair and into a waltz. It was only muscle memory that kept you from stumbling over yourself and landing face first into her chest. "First off, Me- ma'am. Not your quadrant mate! Second off, not a troll!"

She just laughed at you, making you dizzy as she spun you around. "Shore ya ain't mine but you're Amshoras! And whats the point of bein Empress if ya can't break the rules!" She practically threw you then, right into Cronus's waiting arms.

"Vwell hey handsome. Fancy meeting you here." He was grinning you down with that stupid shark grin of his and you. Oh you were going to kill him.

You were sure the way you held his hand must have bordered on painful but he just wiggled his fins as you hissed. "You knew she was gonna do this you. Wait. Wait a minute did you-" That grin just grew wider and oh. oh you wanted to wring his neck. you wanted to bite down on his shoulder until you drew blood, til you added another scar to his collection. "Did you fucking ask her to do this?"

"Me? Ask my matesprit to temporarily alter the rules so I can shovw off my kismesis? Perhaps." He softened as he took in how deeply tense you looked as you followed him through the now familiar steps. "..you okay svweetheart?"

"...don't like this very much. i don't like crowds." The admission of weakness made him let out a lil chirping growl. weakness is to only be shown in the comfort of your quarters but it is. so much and who can you bare yourself to if not your quadrantmate even one who's emotions run deep and pitch as his

"You vwere fine on the ship..?"

"Ships different! Church is different because I know the people there I know-!"

He dipped down for just a moment to press a chaste kiss to your lips. "Hey, hey. It's okay. Shit I shoulda asked first if you vwere okay vwith this. But it's okay, just. Just imagine it's just us okay? I got you Dog. I alvways got you."

Yeah...yeah. Void help you but he always did.

(holding you against him while you sobbed into his shoulder, startled awake by things that you thought you left behind, claws running through your hair and chirring softly at you)

(rough hands on yours as he adjusted your sword for the millionth time, affectionately teasing about how long it's taking you, ain't you humans supposed to learn fast?)

The steps were smoother as you relaxed into his grip, easily able to keep pace despite your rather large height difference. "Why though?"

His fins flicked again, nervously this time, before he answered you. "Folks. They talk, they say stupid shit." True. "Say things aboat ya." Ah. There it was, the crux of the matter. "So I figured..they're just sayin things on account of not having seen ya. They ain't seen the way you move, seen the way the light hits you and you look so deeps damned stunning.."

Oh. Oh noooo. You were flushed, you could feel the heat covering your cheeks and down your collarbones. "Dog. Fuck Dog. You're the most irritating, reckless, absolutely frustrating vwretch I've ever laid eyes on. And you're also the most vwonderful thing in my life. You knowv that right?"

..oh fuck it. "You wanna put on a show then chief?" He gave you a bewildered look before you tugged him closer to you, switching up positions easily to lead the dance instead. He had walked you through both of course at your insistence, despite his tendency to want to lead in damn near everything. (you deeply relished the few times he gave up even a modicum of control)

But it only took him a moment to relax into it, that shark grin returning as you sped up the waltz with him, twirling him around and laughing breathlessly at how the lights caught his dress. (he thought you looked stunning like this? did he ever see himself?)

(...perhaps. perhaps it was not the fact you were human. but the fact that they were simply jealous of not being able to have him.. you would have to file that information away for later.)

When he was teaching you you had insisted on learning to dip him. It's always looked like fun you said, elbowing him in the gills to watch him hiss at you and grumble for show for several long moments before finally, finally giving in.

It had been awkward the first….well. Quite a few times. You dropped him once, stumbled a different time and stepped on his tail, it was a mess. But eventually you figured it out, your bodies slotting together like they were always meant to be that close. like you slotted into the rest of his life.

Now? It was effortless and earned you a whistle from Meenah. With all the others watching you knew you had made your point. We're perfect together, look at us, look at how we move in sync. So you could lift him and take your leave of this awful party or….

You would never get tired of the noises he made when you kissed him first. His chirp was always so surprised before it melted into a purr so deep you could feel it in your bones. it reminded you how ancient he was, that you were kissing someone timeless.

And if you had an air of possessiveness, if your nails dug into his back as you kissed him dizzy and breathless, well. Didn't you deserve it? Just a little?

When you finally broke to breathe he was the most wonderful shade of violet, freckles standing more stark against his skin than normal. He looked lovely.

"...you wanna get out of here?"

"Please."

The last thing you heard was Meenahs laugh as you practically carried your kismesis out of the ballroom. ...maybe you could learn to like these dumb things. If you could keep bothering nobles by kissing your boy.

an now for the tags: @goldenworldsabound @kaidasmooch @loveslick @royalnpc and the one who gave me the prompt an made me Think Gay Thoughts @enderpearlgurl13

#jackals barks #ship: space pirates <3<#okay 2 rb #hgkkflld i wanted to edit bits here n there but i kept like. clicking out so ANYWAYS here u go #this takes place when theyve established their dynamic as <3< <> so theyre a lil more laid back

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jupiteronic · 4 years

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hi, i have pisces mars, how can i develop it? i suck

don’t do the whole “i suck” thing for starters. It’s hard ik especially for those of us who are mentally ill and/or went through trauma and have conditioned thoughts like these, but also it can be helpful to remind yourself that your thoughts do not define you and to redirect your thoughts rather than bully them away or blame yourself for them (let me know if you want resources on this!) so as to diminish later blowups/ guilt-tripping behaviours. a lot of Pisces mars people very much are willing to change their ways/ listen to other perspectives like you! telling people you suck doesn’t really come across as taking responsibility though, a lot of people will take offense to that - rightfully so - and think you’re being manipulative or simply looking for validation, acceptance or forgiveness. probably wasn’t your intention, it’s just important to think about how others would interpret our behavior.

accept that feeling bad isn’t an excuse to avoid preemptively thinking about how your actions impact others, it takes practice but make a conscious effort and you’ll be surprised how much good you can do despite overwhelming emotions! in a similar vein though, do NOT ignore or repress or minimize your emotions for the sake of others. if anything that will lead to more uncontrolled anger, manipulative behavior, and self-pitying feelings/thoughts which further reinforce the unhealthy behaviours you’re trying to rid yourself of

BEWARE OF WHO YOU SURROUND YOURSELF WITH

if you can, avoid fixating on what you did wrong and feeling shame + guilt for it. focus on how you can improve or eliminate the behaviours you don’t like & more importantly how you can make it up to anyone you hurt - especially if that person is yourself. easier said than done, especially for the obsessive types, but again i find that redirecting thoughts makes this easier than blaming yourself for fixating on your guilt. it can be an endless cycle really. how do you apologise to others + how do you apologise to yourself? if you don’t do either of those much, start working from there

get feedback from others where appropriate but take the feedback with a grain of salt until you have multiple perspectives

watch self regulation skills vids or read about it or... cant believe i’m saying this.. listen to a p*dcast. whatever helps you absorb information the fastest. ideally you would learn about this through written/ spoken word of both your own and others, through audio, visually, artistically etc to master self-regulation but that’s obviously not realistic or convenient for everyone so start small with what seems most realistic to you!!! I know especially Pisces mars can get quickly lose interest or motivation when it comes to things involving thorough detail lol. the next point expands on this but what works for me is pretending I’m my own parent. in a way we all are our own parents, but emotionally investing myself in that fantasy helped me apply my energy to things I’d rather not do (like doing assignments is still very hard for me, and to avoid discouraging myself from doing them, i kind of have a conversation with myself about it and kind of take on the role of child + parent. this is just an example - sometimes it just helps to use your traits to your own advantage, like Pisces mars being more interested in fantasies/emotionally engaging things than boring menial tasks; i used an emotionally engaging fantasy to motivate myself to do work, be creative <3). avoid relying on others for regulation & discipline. this can be very difficult for some of us + i understand and empathize with this. the point here is to be as independent as you can be. also something going wrong does not necessarily mean it’s a sign from the universe to stop trying i promise

on the note of independence, take steps to becoming your own cheerleader. motivate & encourage yourself through positive self talk. in times where you feel demotivated, helpless or worthless, and say encouraging things to yourself. be aware that this will often seem silly and a waste of energy and u know how much Pisces mars like to save their energy at all costs lmao so this is definitely a common, normal reaction but every time this discourages you, remind yourself that IT IS worth trying and YOU are worth trying for yourself. sometimes I literally have to say cheesy shit like “you can do this” out loud repeatedly until I convince myself. it’s tiring & maybe embarrassing but recovering from chronic self-pity is even more tiring and embarrassing. avoid relying on others to uplift you & make you feel better. not to say that people shouldn’t help people, but just so you’re able to have your own back as much as possible

be more intellectually present oh my god 🤡 I beg of you. this can be very difficult especially for people who deal with adhd/mental illness(es)/trauma/learning disorders/developmental disorders etc. I don’t have all the answers for that but one thing most of us can do is engage in activities that nurture our intellectual health more frequently ; whether that’s reading (nonfiction preferrably), doing newspaper puzzles, crosswords/sudoku apps, problem-solving activities that don’t involve emotional appeal, etc just do it often. we all know how emotionally attentive Pisces mars can be but engage your intellectual side gamers (i.e. don’t game). I say this as a Pisces mars myself lolz please this is literally self-care

ik this is a snooze point but physical stimulation especially exercise can be really good for emotional wellbeing/ release. otherwise find literally any form of release - healthy forms I cannot stress this enough

wrt anger, bitterness, feelings of defeat: Pisces placements often have an external locus of control and thrive when they consider/have faith in something bigger than them. could be astrology, spirituality, religion, art, community, culture, all of the above, whatever makes u feel connected.

question your own intentions (but don’t overdo this); why am i acting this way or feeling this way? am I fishing for attention? if so, is there anything I can do to give myself the same warm feeling attention/validation from others would give me? am I acting like this because I feel hurt or taken advantage of? if so, is it possible for me to have a safe, healthy conversation about this with the source of the problem? WHAT is the source of the problem? what can i do about it? write this down if you can somewhere private and read it back to yourself later, notice any cognitive distortions in your thinking and make adjustments. this will help you practice using your intellectual side in distressing moments but there’s less point in using your thinking if it’s warped if you feel that’s the case for you. so google cognitive distortions & how to deal with them to get examples! try to make the adjustments next time you feel overwhelmed or have heightened emotions/senses

be firmer with your boundaries. with others AND yourself. the less you resist against boundaries the more your life will know peace because you are more careful with the people and/or behaviours you allow into YOUR life. do *not* ease up on your boundaries for the sake of other people. betraying yourself for others or immediate gratification is rarely a good idea in the long run. I’ve done the mistake of betraying my values for others many times and it’s caused unnecessary conflict which we are notorious for avoiding. that is until the evil puppeteer living in our brains snaps their fingers and commands us to go ham

#but thats just my 🧅#/sarcasm in that last line in case its not obvious #sorry if this doesnt help u in the slightest #pisces mars #long post #mars

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himbowelsh · 4 years

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i take extreme interest in the bob characters’ flaws, especially winters. like in the series he is shown to really not have any faults or vices (as nix says) but i always try to think of what possible problems he has. like i think he really sucks at communicating most of the time, he never really gets deep with anyone in the series without it seeming short lived or distanced. he obviously cares about his men, but there’s a part of me that thinks he didn’t grow up with that much praise /part 1

or that he was given compliments like “you did great with x BUT you could improve on x and x” so his idea of personal conversations seem more professional or impersonal instead of genuine. or i think he may see everything too strategically and doesn’t take human emotion into consideration enough. like impulse decisions, he doesn’t get that sometimes bits of passion push you to do things, like guarnere being upset his brother died, or liebgotts hate for german POWs / part 2

because he is thinking about the bigger more rational picture of it instead of the deeper reasons for their actions. i’m sure he knows what’s going on, don’t mistake it for him being ignorant towards that, he feels like everyone else. i just think his is more guarded due to years of internalizing on his own part. dick obviously has an overwhelming sense of responsibility, he’s a natural born leader. so he puts himself aside because that’s what he thinks a leader should do / part 3

and to the people in dicks life who care about him, like nix who is at times over emotional and will share his thoughts and yell his problems out loud, they take dicks lack of forefront emotion to mean he doesn’t like him. when that’s the complete opposite, he’s putting his own emotions aside as a way to show he wants to be strong for nix and let nix know that his emotions are the most important thing to dick, so much so his inner thoughts and feelings can be pent up to listen to nix’s own

Ooof, there’s a lot to unpack here so I had to take a little while to digest it, but...

No doubt, Dick’s modest and restrained upbringing played a major role in the man he became. It definitely taught him humility, that working hard and quietly is better them being a showman. When you compare someone like Nix, with his Upper East Side upbringing, to Dick, the contrast is clear. It could come down to sheer personality, but Nix is outspoken and emotional, almost erratic with it at times. No doubt Dick feels things just as keenly, but he’s learned to keep it inside.

I have to disagree on your main point, though. I think Dick does understand emotions. He doesn’t let them influence his own decision-making, but he has a keen understanding of the people around him --- he wouldn’t be such an effective leader if he didn’t. He knows that Guarnere’s anger is motivated by grief, and definitely must have sympathy for him; but Dick is able to look at the situation rationally, and realize that Guarnere is putting all their lives at risk for the sake of his own vendetta. (Interestingly, Winters yelling at guarnere is one of the few times we see him lose control, even a little.)

During Nix’s mini-breakdown, he gets it. He doesn’t completely know how to handle it --- because Nix’s emotions are so wildly different from his own, messy and mercurial --- but Dick is there, a quiet support when his friend needs it. Compare this to how Nix reacts when he sees Dick is upset: he talks around the issue, offering semi-awkward reassurances that don’t really hit at the heart of Dick’s actual problem, but acknowledge it nonetheless. (Hall’s death is a great example. Dick is struggling with losing someone under his command; Nix can only assure him that the map they obtained will do a lot of good. This validates both Dick’s efforts and Hall’s sacrifice, offering Dick a small measure of peace.)

On the topic of Hall --- here’s a great example of how Dick understands people. Hear me out, here. He’s just dropped into Normandy, and his only companion is a scared kid he only kind of knows. It’s a bad situation. Both their lives are on the line.

A livejournal post from 2009 explains it best:

I can’t resist giving you this whole conversation, cause it so illuminates Winters’ character without being heavy-handed. Winters: “So you’re a radio man.” Hall: “Yes sir. I was, sir, until I lost my radio in the jump. I’m sure I’ll get chewed out for that.” Winters: “Well if you were in my platoon, I’d tell you you are a rifleman first and a radio man second.” Hall: “Maybe you can tell that to my platoon leader when we find him. If we find him.” Winters: “It’s a deal. But first, I need your help. Locate some landmarks to get our bearings. Keep your eyes peeled for buildings, farmhouses, bridges, roads, trees…” Hall: (laughs) “I wonder if the rest of them are as lost as we are.” Winters: “We’re not lost. We’re in Normandy.” Hall is clearly scared. But Winters, man… 1) makes conversation, which makes Hall feel more normal in this crazy environment, 2) reassures Hall that he’s not a screw-up, so he feels stronger, 3) calls Hall a “rifleman first”, which makes an excellent point and teaches Hall something, 4) by calling him a “rifleman”, focuses Hall on his identity as a soldier (as opposed to a technician), which might save their lives if they run into trouble, 5) enlists Hall’s “help” to distract him from his fear, 6) makes him laugh, and 7) reassures him that they’re not lost; that Winters has the situation under control. See that? It takes me longer to explain the awesome than for Winters to be awesome. That’s how awesome he is.

Winters’s approach to emotions is practical, but he gets them. He’s got a keen sense of how to communicate, and what works for each man. Actually, he works best one-on-one with the men, instead of stuck behind a desk. Other peoples’ emotions aren’t his problem.

You definitely hit on something when you say he puts his own emotions aside, though. That might be the core of Winters’ character flaws --- he represses his own feelings, always making room for others. There’s no doubt he’s got a blindspot when it comes to Nix (at times, he’s overly-tolerant, almost enabling Nix’s self-destructive behaviors); Nix is the closest person to him during the war. He sees Nix at his worst... but even when Dick’s really struggling, he doesn’t open up to his friend. Is he the sort of person who prefers not to share his feelings? Probably. Still, Dick rarely vocalizes what he feels, keeping it all inside. I could see him... as the sort of person to push aside what’s best for him to make room for other people. He lets them have center-stage, and his natural humility keeps him from claiming even the recognition he’s earned. He’s not the sort of person comfortable in the limelight. The only reason he advanced so far in the army wasn’t because he was pushing his own accomplishments, but impressing everyone else with his obvious skill and experience. In another setting --- say, a workplace --- Dick’s reticence might lead to him getting passed over for promotions or drowned out by louder voices. He doesn’t pursue what he wants, personally, only what the people around him need.

Just my thoughts, and thank you so much for sharing yours. Anyone else who wants to chime in on Winters’ flaws is welcome!!

#richard winters #meta #band of brothers #hbo war #dick winters #Anonymous

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ramblingguy54 · 3 years

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Enji & Touya Todoroki: Motivation Gone Terribly Wrong.

My Hero Academia’s latest chapter shines a new light of the dynamic Enji and his son, Touya Todoroki, shared as time went on. It’s very interesting to see after learning Touya’s quirk would be too dangerous for his own body, Enji did decide not to push him forward with further advancing his quirk’s abilities. Instead it goes for more of an exploration on how he detaches himself emotionally from his son by each passing month afterwards. Touya was the beginning downward spiral of Enji’s abusive attitude evolving in many different ways starting with more attempts at creating a perfect quirk inherited child. Even with fair warning from a doctor to not explore this idea at all, Enji still refused to succumb to that notion of never being able to surpass All Might. Enji tried to put his son down gently on stopping their training altogether and not worry about this dream of being better than All Might anymore, which was the right call in this regard. However, the damage was already done, where it’s crystal clear Touya isn’t going to yield away from achieving his father’s dream and feeling acknowledged. Children are highly impressionable people, naturally, so to be faced with an idea, in a society based around heroism no less, of never being able to feel loved & respected by his father Touya wasn’t gonna accept this as a conclusive answer.

From Touya’s perspective, his dad is the number two hero, so why wouldn’t he want to follow in his footsteps? Their society has highly praised heroes, such as Endeavor, for how many people they’ve managed to save in all their years of heroics. This chapter continues to show how well integrated the world building and lore is woven into creating MHA’s diverse cast of complex characters. Touya is no different from this statement in putting on full display the consequences of their society being so highly dependent on that mentality of heroes. As far as many are concerned in their world, becoming the best hero is a definitive way to earn love and respect from many around yourself, as well as family. Although, we’ve known from Shigaraki’s backstory this is far from being true, obviously. Becoming a hero isn’t guaranteed happiness for making whatever problems in your life magically disappear be them small or big. If anything, My Hero Academia amplifies those internal conflicts of each character who became inspired to take that mantle upon themselves. Touya Todoroki is yet another tragic example of their structural system failing to give them proper emotional growth. Having a father, who embodies so much negativity in what heroism means to him, was a guaranteed disaster for having long lasting affects on their dysfunctional family tree. Regardless if Touya Todoroki took the intense training upon himself for putting burn after burn upon his fragile body, who planted this crucial seed in the boy’s head? His father did, plain and simple. Enji may have not greatly physically abused Touya, as seen with Shoto in that distant future, but there’s plenty of psychological damage the child’s been handed down from his father. Namely one utmost important thing being, emotional neglect.

Underneath whatever Enji said to try gently guiding his son away from training to become a better a hero than All Might were those darker desires in doing whatever it took to get what he desired. Enji became all the more laser focused on getting that top spot of number one hero, rather than give Touya a real heart to heart, which the boy oh so desperately needed to prevent bigger problems. Enji doesn’t bother to pursue those concerns, voiced by Rei, to try finding another way for communicating properly with Touya’s inevitable insecurities. He’d rather play scientist in seeing how many babies it’d take before getting their perfect child. All of that becomes a greater detriment to Touya’s mental state seeing his father take a greater interest in playing favorites, once Shoto came into existence. It finally clicked in Touya’s head what kind of person his father is and what stuff was happening in their family tree. Touya became so crushed and confused with everything his father made him believe in standing up for. Eventually, something had to give and damn did it not hold back on Touya’s breaking point in confronting his father with all of those repressed feelings. No matter how much Enji tried to help in a sense from deterring his son and guide him to an extent, it doesn’t change a simple fact he brought all of this upon himself. Enji did indeed reaped what he sowed with Touya by filling his head up with ideas of grandeur about being better than All Might. That he could put his mind toward becoming a stronger and more impressive person, too. Those words don’t amount to much when he ends up throwing you to the wayside in favor of someone else to carry on his dreams. If Touya wasn’t worthy, than what does that make him? Another failed experiment to be ignored forever?

Touya’s breakdown hurts to look at because all he wanted was his father’s love, like any kid would want to have. Doesn’t help that when your father is a respected person in a renowned profession of community there’s going to be loads of more pressure in wanting to impress him. So, it doesn’t take much thought to figure what’s gonna happen next with that kind of emotional intensity. Touya’s line, “The kids at school all say they wanna be heroes! I can’t understand that. Because I’ve got you for a father.”, was a serious red flag for his anger boiling over at everything ranging from his father, the concept of heroes, their family tree, and most importantly Shoto taking up the reigns from what was, in Touya’s eyes, his whole purpose for existing. Combine that with stubborn determination, a powerful quirk, painful drawbacks, and a shit ton of emotional issues giving us one Hell of a pissed off broken kid determined to kill Shoto Todoroki for taking away what was his “birth right” and father’s love.

This panel is God damn intense in encapsulating everything wrong with Enji’s actions. He wanted so badly to surpass All Might it ended up crushing his whole family’s idea for a happy life together and it’s shown so wonderfully with Touya’s descent into bitter madness at their family, society, and idea of pure heroics.

It’s why Touya’s arc works for being so empathetic, yet painfully tragic. while also showing another side of Enji’s personality that he hadn’t reached a level of intense abuse just yet anyway, until after these events occurred. Gives us a more layered look into what types of abuse there were in the Todoroki house hold.

#mha manga spoilers #boku no hero academia #my hero academia manga chapter 301 #my hero academia #touya todoroki #enji todoroki #my hero academia dabi #rei todoroki

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