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angelfrombeneth · 4 months

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LET ME BE THE JUDGE OF THAT - T . NOTT

Mature Content Ahead

Theodore Nott x Fem!Reader

Summary: You and Enzo are best friend, you have a bi-weekly gossip session at the astronomy tower during your bi-weekly smoke break. During said gossip, Enzo drops some juicy goss about a certain slytherin boy and how he's 'packing', iygwim ;)

Warnings: SMUT, Switch Theo and Reader, Mentions of Smoking, Graphic descriptions of sex, Slight Male!Receiving Oral, Squirting

A/N: I apologise for any spelling mistakes or slightly off sentences. I did proof read but I am dyslexic with acrylics on so my spelling gets progressively worse.

Theodore Nott. The man he was. He was one of your friends, he was in the group of the original slytherins from day dot. You always harboured something towards him - you just didn't know if it was feelings or pure lust. The man was an absolute pantie dropper. He just got even hotter with puberty.

Though he wasn't as much as a whore as Mattheo, he definitely stuck his dick in a few things (stupid bitches). There were many rumours about him but no one knew it was real, no one kiss and told with him. For all you knew he could've been an absolute virgin. But one of the rumours was true, Enzo mentioned over your bi-weekly free period cig break in the Astronomy tower.

"Oh! I've got some goss for you" Enzo chuckled as he pointed his slender fingers at you. His cigarette perfectly slotted inbetween his index and middle.

"What?" You looked over at him intruiged, as you stayed sat against the railing of the tower, your feet dangling over the old cobble below.

"Theo" He smirked. If you were a dog your ears would've perked up. The way your body instantly sat up straight away as you looked over at him more alert than ever. Your hand paused infront of you, the cig butt burning out. "Its big" He winked.

"Oh fuck off 'Zo" You took a puff from your cig, letting it hit your throat before exhaling. "You're full of shit, I'm not sitting here and listening to you bullshit another stupid 'Big Dick of Hogwarts' again. Do you know I actually got with Adrien just to fucking see" You rolled your eyes.

Enzo laughed "Did you actually?!"

You nodded as you inhaled the smoke from your cigarette, flicking the end as ash fell from the tip. "Well embarassing too, was so turned off at the.. what 3 inches I had to work with, just walked out" You groaned.

Enzo snickered but collected himself. "I'm serious though, it's literally huge. He sent a picture to the lads groupchat-"

"Why?" You cut him off

"We wanted to compare dick sizes so we measure it against our DADA text books" Enzo shrugged.

"You lot are fucking stupid..." You shook your head. "But.. out of interest where abouts was it? Would you say centered with the authors name in the centre or? I know the book is 15 inches tall" You spoke, putting out your cig on the metal bar.

"Jesus fucking Christ you are a freak" Enzo laughed putting out his cigarette beside yours. "But it was to the title lettering"

You stood up in shock. "You're saying Theodore Nott has a 9 inch penis.."

"How do you know the size- Wait I'll just show you" He pulled his phone out of his pocket, pulling up the groupchat and showing you the picture. Now with Enzo, if you couldn't guess it by now, he was the male gay of the group - him and Pans representing the rainbow together. You all thought it would be Blaise he turns out he ended up hitting it off well with Luna Lovegood.

"No.. fucking way" You gripped the muggle phone as you stared at the picture. "This makes me want to fuck Theo even more 'Zo. I've been toying with the idea but fuck this solidifies it"

Enzo laughs "Well he's been having a 'dry spell at the moment' said he can't get it up because of an 'inconsistency' he said but he won't tell anyone. Sounds like he's seen something that'll only make him hard".

"Inconsistency? Pfft, I'll be the judge of that" You smirked.

"Oh I bet you will" He snickered.

"Jesus, this cig break was crazy" You laughed, giving Enzo his phone back and the two of you walked down the steps of the tower.

"I'll update you if I hear anything more from Mr 9 inches" Enzo winks.

You shook your head bidding him a goodbye.

Later that day, You made your way into the dungeons, walking to Enzo's dorm to tell him about the crazy fight between Astoria and a random Ravenclaw over Draco.

"Zo you'll never fucking believe it. Astoria ate shit today and got her ass handed to by a Raven...claw-" You flung open the door, looking up and locking eyes to chest with a very naked, towel covered sadly, Theo.

"My eyes are up here bella" He smirked.

You gawked at him, shocked to see him, especially how chiseled he was... as your mouth practically salivated at the sight of him.

"Bella?" Theo chuckled at your frozen figure.

"Respectfully Theo, I've always found you so fucking hot. But now I'm going to have to definitely suck you off" You smirked up at him.

He snickered as he gazed at you. His tongue running across his bottom lip before biting it. "You really dont play around... Come on then"

You slammed the door behind you as you lunged yourself at Theo, crashing your lips onto his. His hands roaming your body as your slid from his shoulders to his damp chest. Your fingers working through the crevasses slowly.

"My.. my.. So eager" He laughed as you pushed him back against a bed while yanking at the towel watching as he caught himself with his hands on the bed, sitting up as he supported himself completely naked.

You bit your lip as you dropped to your knees. "Fuck.. Enzo wasn't lying" You placed your hands on his thighs.

"What?" Theo froze.

"Enzo showed me your dick pic.. Its even bigger in person though" You bit your lip.

"Fucking Enzo.. So you saw my cock and now wanna suck it because of a picture?"

"Yeah pretty much" You licked a stripe up the base of his shafts to the tip as you peered up at him smirking as he let out a shaky gasp.

"You are a weird one Y/N.. Now hurry up before I fuck your face with it" He groaned slightly agitated at being teased.

"He also said about your inconsistency to get it up Nott.. you seem to not be having an issue" You smirked as you took his length into your hands as you jerked him off slightly as you kissed up his pelvis.

"Don't act so suprised bella.. We both know it was because of you and that cheeky thong of yours. Why'd you think that was OK?" Theo sighed as he bit his lip peering down at you.

"Me?" You questioned.

You peered outside your door, looking left and right before slithering out. You really wanted to grab some water from the kitchen but it was so late and you couldn't be asked to wait till breakfast.

You snuck out the common room, running down to the kitchen, grabbing a glass of water but also stealing a few biscuits while you were at it.

You had successfully made it back to the common room, slowly walking down the stairs before turning to walk up the stairs to your dorm. You felt a presence near you but you, looked around and saw no one. So you shrugged it off.

Third POV

"Fuck-" Theo hissed as he flicked his cigarette out the window as he stared at your figure stood at the end of the stairs.

The way you stood in your little black knee high socks, paired with an absolute ravishing black lace thong - leaving nothing to Theo's imagination. Not only that, a tiny crop top with underboov practically spilling out. Theodore was spoilt by this view. He noticed you didn't notice him as you crept back upstairs. The growing tent in his joggers as he stood up to readjust but ending up moaning at the slight friction of the fabric.

What you didn't know, is that night Theo went and jacked off 6 times thinking about you. He'd never came so much, let alone been so weak for anyone. You were all he could think about for weeks. Even when he came to the situation of fucking a random ass Ravenclaw after a party, he couldn't get it up. It wasn't until he thought about that night. You. He could. He ended up ploughing the fuck out of that poor Ravenclaw imaging the girl was you. After that he vowed to celibacy until he could get his hands on you.

"What are you talking about" You laughed as you kitten licked his tip, staring up at him as he fought back his moans. His fists whitening as he clenched then tightly.

"I.. saw you" He gulped, submitting and sitting on the bed as you shuffled closer. "Two weeks ago- You went somewhere I don't fucking know. But you were in a tiny fucking thong and- there was just so much boob and ass.." You tilted your head as you stared at him. "Y/N- I fucked my shit so hard- I fucked a random bitch- I nearly fucking moaned your name" He was pratically begging for you at this point.

You stood up, straddling his hips as you smirked at him, caressing his cheek. "I'm flattered Nott, if you wanted to fuck me you should've just asked" You bit your lip.

"God- S'bad.. I want you so bad Y/N" He pratically whimpered as his cock twitches up against your thigh.

"Who knew Theodore Nott was a begger.. especially with all this" You chuckled, running your hand up his whole length. You lifted your thong to the side as you lined up his dick with your entrance as you slowly sank down on it. Sighing softly as the poor boy whimpered under you.

"Good boy" You cooed, ruffling his hair as you slowly rocked your hips back and forth, biting your lip at the feeling of his dick moving inside of you, hitting your G-spot every. fucking. time.

"I fucking hate.. how weak you make me" He whines, a soft pout upon his lips as his hands grasp at your clothed breasts through your uniform.

You capture his lips, kissing him softly, speaking between the breaths- "You're so.. fucking.. hot.." You sighed as you arched your back, throwing your head back as you gripped his shoulders as you sped up the pace as you rode him. Your hips buckling against his chest as you left out soft whines and moans. Supporting yourself by your arms but you were growing weak. As much as it was hot to see a submissive Theodore, his dick was perfectly hitting your G-spot every fucking time that you were crumbling.

You threw your head forward, looking at Theo as you panted, your mouth open agape as you stared down at him. Lust in your eyes. "Ruin me Nott" you gagged out.

It was like a code word or something. In that moment, Theo pulled out and flipped you over. Ripping off your uniform but leaving your tie on. Slapping your ass harshly as he theusted his dick back into you, tugging on your tie, choking you slightly as he began to piston into you from behind. You gasped, a moan catching in your throat as your head leaned back slightly at the tug of the tie as you felt Theo's hand grip at your neck tightly as you gasped.

"Good girl.. Be good for me.. principessa" He whispered lowly as he let go of your tie, wrapping an arm around your waist as he yanked you up, leaning your back against his chest. You moaned lightly, gritting your teeth as his dick absolutely crushed your insides. His lips upon your neck, biting and sucking on the skin, as his free hand gripped your left breast.

"Fuck!" You whined out as you gasped. The overwhelming feeling of his dick and his touch was driving you insane. "I'm co-" You screamed out as he sped up his thrusts. You gripped his thighs, digging your nails into them as you screamed out. Your eyes rolling back as you let out a low groan as you came harshly against his dick.

Theo let go of you, letting you fall forward against the bed as you panted heavily, breath shaky as you gripped at the sheets below you. His dick still in you as he stared down at your twitching body.

"I'm not done yet, amore mio" He smirked, slapping your ass as he pulled out. Flipping you over as he leaned over kissing you softly. Your arms snaked around his neck, pulling his closer as you sucked on tongue as he gasped feeling him enter you once again.

"Theo- I don't think I can take anymore" You panted, giggling softly, slightly scared.

"You will" He smiled at you, kissing your cheek as he slowly dragged himself in and out of you. "I need to cum too, and you need to come atleast 2 more times" He winked.

His lips captured yours as he kissed you passionately. You wrapped your arms around his neck, your hand finding it's way through his curls as you tugged on them with each pummel into your G-spot. Theo definitely knew how to use all inches of his deadly weapon. You did question why you left it so long.

He pulled away, peppering kisses down your jaw, neck and collarbone, nibbling and sucking lightly occasionally scattering hickies and marks. "So. Beautiful" He growled as he grit his teeth. His grip on the headboard directly above you tightened as he thrusted harder onto you.

"T-Theo" you yelped, scratching down his back harshly with your sharp acrylics. Gasping as he cocked his leg up slightly hitting into you at a tilted angle driving you insane.

"Doing so good, darling. You look so beautiful" He pecked your lips as his grip tightened on his bed frame, thrusting faster as the bed below the pair of you began to creak with each movement. "Good girl.. You are doing so well" He kissed your cheek softly as you let out a soft string of moans.

Your eyes rolled back slightly as your panting became erratic, your toes curling as you shrieked, digging your nails further into his back. "Fuck! Fuckfuckfuckfuck- I'm cumming!" You screamed out as you arched your back, your legs twitching as Theo continued to relentlessly pound into you, showing no remorse for your sensitive state. You yelped loudly, throwing your head forward, locking eyes with him as the knot harshly unwrapped in your stomach as you came harshly against him. He continues to fuck you through your high causing you to squirt. Everywhere.

You threw your head back, squinting your eyes as you gritted your teeth whining as your hands fell from his back to the sheets as you fisted them. It took you a moment to come round, you were seeing white during your high. You noticed Theo slow down, but still continuing to slowly pump into you. You felt his hand caress your cheek as he chuckled softly.

"You alright bella? Thought I lost you there" He smirked softly as he kissed your forehead.

You looked up at him, panting softly, pulling his neck as you placed a soft kiss on his lips. "You're going to kill me Nott.. How have you still not came-" You groaned.

He laughed, hooking his arms under your thighs, he lifted you up causing you to shriek. The boy stood up, lowering you once against fully on his length. His hands gripping your ass as he thrusted into you. Your body recoiling against him as your skin slapped harshly against his.

"Fuck- There-" You gulped biting your lip as your hands gripped his shoulders.

"Love making you feel good.. I could make you cum all day, I don't care if i do too" You groaned, his jaw tensing as you noticed his dick twitch inside of you. He walked across the room, your body rebounding every thrust back into him as you whimpered lowly. He pushed you up against the door, his pace quickening once he leant u against it.

"Fuck yes! You're so tight for me bella, just for me-" He moaned softly into your ear as his face buried into your neck. Soft whimpers leaving his lips turning you on even more. Your hips bucked against him as you tightened your core as you began to lift yourself to bounce up and down. Soft moans leaving your lips as he bit at your neck, whining into your skin.

"M'close!-" He yelped, gulping as he kissed your roughly. You pulled him as close as you could as he continued to plough into you against the door. The pair of you gaining closer and closr to your releases. His thrusts progressively becoming more erratic.

Suddenly, Theo halted before he drop you to your feet, pulling out as you gasped at the sudden lack of pleasure. He pulls you to the bed again, pushing you face first down as he climbed ontop of you. You had no time to compute what was going on or question him. It all happened so fast. His legs eitherside yours trapping you down as he slaps your ass. A soft yelp leaving your lips as he spread your ass and thighs with his hand as he pushed back in. The boy was fucking mounting you like a horse.

He kisses your shoulder messily as he bites down on it, his thrusts becoming messy as you gripped at the sheets again. "Tell me if your- uncomftable" He groaned in your ear. His thrusts growing messier and messier as he sped up. His poor bed frame screaming for a break, constant creaking and slamming against the wall as you both moaned. You were worried for the dorm next door, the pair of you didn't think of a silencing charm.

His whimpering driving you over the edge as you screamed into the pillow. Theo knew you were close, he could feel it as you tightened around him.

The boy chased for his high along with you. You both letting out some rather unattractive groans and whines as you drew close together.

"Sei cosi' sexy" (You're so sexy) He groaned, nibbling at your shoulder as he continued to whimper softly in your ear. His pants become erratic as he continued to thrust into you, at a wildly animalistic pace. "Mio, tu sei mio..~" (Mine, you are mine..~) he whined out, pushing your hair aside as he sucked at your neck. His pants becoming gasps as his dick twitched inside of you. You had no clue what he was saying, but his Italian accent was making you even more wet.

"FUCK!-" you screamed as you sobbed into the pillow, biting the plush object as you harshly came against his thrusts as he sped up one last time, before delving deep inside of you, practically burying himself and his cum deep inside of you.

"Porca puttana, cosi' stretto! Tutto mio. Ti amo, cazzo-" (Holy shit, so tight! All mine. I fucking love you-) He groaned as he held himself above you, his arms shaking as he panted heavily. "Holy fuck.." He collected himself before pulling out and crashing beside you, pushing his hair out of his face.

The pair of you had a few minutes of silence, panting heavily and collecting yourself together.

You lifted your hair out of the pillow as you turned to look at his fucked out face beside you. You let out a soft snicker as you moved to cuddle him, putting your head on his chest.

Theo didn't know you knew a bit of Italian not much, but enough to know he just professed his love for you.

"Ti amo" You smiled up at him. His face shot to you, his eyes wide and his cheeks flushed.

"You understood?-" He gulped.

"Only slightly but, I love you too Theo" You kissed his cheek.

He shook his head, laying a soft kiss on your lips.

The two of you cuddled a bit longer before you retreated to the shower where you went another round. You don't know how you did it. Your legs certainly hate you at this point. He decided to leave some nasty bite marks and hickies on your thighs. He even drew blood a few times but that's something the two of you can toy with later...

Later you stumbled down the stairs in one of Theo's tshirts. Your hair very messy and skin peppered in hickies and bites from neck to thigh. Theo followed behind you.

You noticed your friends sat upon the couches in the common room.

You looked to Enzo "Can confirm it is definitely 9 inches" You both laughed as your friends look at you confused.

"Who-" Draco questioned before gasps came from them all as Theo walked downstairs, covered in scratch marks, bites and hickies as he stood behind you ruffling his hair in just his trackies.

"Oh my god" Pansy gawked.

#theodore nott x reader #theo nott x reader #theo nott smut #slytherin boys fanfiction #slytherin fanfiction #slytherin boys #theodore nott smut #harrypotter fanfiction #lorenzo zurzolo #angelfrombenethfics

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blushweddinggowns · 10 months

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I'm all for the angsty overhearing a conversation trope where it's all sad because of a misunderstanding. But I also love the opposite. Overhearing a conversation where the other person is just singing their praises. Especially with Steve and Eddie.

Like Steve being very aware that he likes Eddie, but way too afraid of rejection to actually do anything about it. So he just pines away, and gets closer and closer to him with the full expectation of it never going anywhere. Until one day, he comes to pick Dustin up from Hellfire too early, and he can hear everyone talking through the door. About him. But mostly it's Eddie, his loud voice carrying across the room. And he's just raving about him, and somehow managing to bring him up in conversations that have nothing to do with him.

Do you remember that time Steve saved my life by shoving my guts back into my body? Yeah, that's the level of skill and luck you're going to need to survive this.

Did you guys know that Steve actually gave me this background music? He's weirdly knowledgeable about classical stuff. Isn't that cool? He's so smart and-oh, yeah, the merchant agrees to the deal.

So uh, is Steve maybe seeing anyone? He isn't right? Like he would tell me if he was, wouldn't he?

And he doesn't give a single fuck at the collective groaning of the group whenever he gets going, never failing to pull out the I almost Died saving the world with you card to get them to shut up. And by the time it actually ends, Steve is a glowing, blushing mess who can't stop smiling.

Or the other way around. With Eddie full on assuming he has 0 shot because Steve's, Steve.

The golden boy who could obviously never be into him like that, or any other guy for that matter. So he doesn't do anything about his feelings, he just hangs out with him more and more and falls for him more and more, waiting for the inevitable day when he gets a girlfriend and his fantasies could finally die. Except one day, he spends the night at Steve's, but he isn't in bed when he wakes up. He goes to find him, just to hear him downstairs loudly talking to Robin. Because neither of them know the concept of inside voices when they're together. And he waits at the top, listening in just for the fuck of it, but mostly because he doesn't want to interrupt.

"I just feel like bed sharing the way you guys do is gay as hell," Robin sighed, "Especially at your age. Also, should we even be talking about this with him in the house?"

And before Eddie has time to freak out over that and the possibility he's gotten caught with his feelings, Steve is already answering, "I know right? And don't worry about it, he sleeps like the dead. But I don't know what to do about it. He still hasn't done anything. Am I just reading this whole thing wrong?"

"Well you could try making the first move instead of trying to trick him into doing it," Robin tried.

"And ruin our friendship incase I'm wrong? Yeah, no. Besides, I go like, full dumbass around him when I'm nervous. He's too hot. I'd probably walk into a wall in the middle of professing my undying love."

"Yeah," Robin sighed, "You probably would."

And Eddie is just having a moment upstairs. A full on I think I may have to jump for joy moment. Or even, I think I'm five seconds away from squealing like a teenage girl moment.

Yeah, I like that shit.

#steddie #steddie fic #stranger things #steddie ficlet #steve harrington #eddie munson #cutsy bullshit because im struggling so hard with my fic #i do actually love the misunderstandings trope #but i also love accidently confessing within ear shot

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convolutedblasphemy · 3 months

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I wasn't shitting you guys btw I actually made the one-sided radiostatic playlists

here is my lyrical masterpiece. both the vox version and the alastor one. done my best to make it as lyrically accurate as possible. @styrofauxm @onesidedradiostatic i hope you enjoy this (go check out the full lyrics for the songs on google if you can't listen to it but i recommend it because all of these are bangers) feat. my stupid commentary and vox's pathetic wet cat energy

Click to listen to the Vox one on YouTube

1. the hearse — matt maeson

thought this one fit so well lyrically. the "what was it like to feel in love" part i interpreted as vox asking himself that rather than alastor

❞ i am the man we both couldn't stand, i can't wash off the dirt from my hands, what was it like to feel in love? [...] i will never go backwards, i will never be free, i will never run faster; will you sink down to me? ❝

2. i'm just ken — ryan gosling

i'm not even adding lyrics to this one, everyone should have seen the barbie movie and this song at this point. this just HAD to be in there. can you feel the kenergy?

3. too many friends — placebo

less about alastor, more about vox's existential crisis

❞ my computer thinks I'm gay, i threw that piece of junk away on the champs-elysées as I was walking home. this is my last communique, down the superhighway. all that I have left to say in a single tome... ❝

4. creep — radiohead

i mean isn't this literally his theme song?

❞ when you were here before... couldn't look you in the eye. you're just like an angel. your skin makes me cry. you float like a feather in a beautiful world. i wish I was special. you're so fuckin' special. but I'm a creep, i'm a weirdo, what the hell am I doin' here? ❝

5. where evil grows — the poppy family

y'all seen the sonic movie? we need to see vox do that dance.

❞ i like the way you smile at me, i felt the heat that enveloped me and what i saw i liked to see. i never knew where evil grew. i should have steered away from you, my friend told me to keep clear of you but something drew me near to you ❝

6. one of us — ava max

i had to edit this one a bit in the video and cut out the part about the kissing because that for sure didn't happen

❞ one of us would die for love; one of us would give it up. one of us would risk it all; one of us won't even call. one of us could say goodbye, never even bat an eye... ❝

7. colorblind — amber riley

more pathetic wet cat energy brought to you by yours truly

❞ i don't think that i'll ever find that silver lining or reason to smile. you know i used to paint such vibrant dreams, now I'm colorblind, colorblind. when did my heart get so full of never mind, never mind? did you know that you stole the only thing I needed? ❝

8. arcade — duncan lawrence

more pathetic wet cat energy brought to you by yours truly

❞ a broken heart is all that's left. i'm still fixing all the cracks. lost a couple of pieces when i carried it, carried it, carried it home. i've spent all of the love I saved. we were always a losing game; small town boy in a big arcade, i got addicted to a losing game... all i know, all i know: loving you is a losing game. ❝

9. if i can't have you — skylar astin

i picked the version from zoey's extraordinary playlist on purpose because the context of this scene is that the dude who sings it hires a bunch of singers and dancers to confess in a public space as you, the viewer, sit there and cringe at him as he gets rejected. if that doesn't have vox energy, i don't know what does.

❞ i'm good at keepin' my distance (lie), i know that you're the feelin' I'm missing. you know that I hate to admit it but everything means nothin' if I can't have you. i can't write one song that's not about you, can't drink without thinkin' about you. is it too late to tell you that everything means nothing if I can't have you? ❝

10. do you want me (dead)? — all time low

when vox asks himself whether alastor wants him or wants him dead it's definitely the second option.

❞ i let it ride on a bet, i doubled down on a sinking ship; need a second to catch my breath: do you want me? or do you want me dead? oh, give it up for at least a second; i'm getting sick of your bullshit attitude and how you walk around like you shine brighter, it's killing me, so what do you say? do you want me? or do you want me dead? ❝

11. push — ryan gosling

i can't just put one musical number from the barbie movie in and not include the other one that fits equally as well.

❞ said, i don't know if I've ever been good enough. i'm a little bit rusty and I think my head is cavin' in. and I don't know if I've ever been really loved by a hand that's touched me, and I feel like something's got to give and I'm a little bit angry, well, this ain't over, no, not here, no; not while I still need you around. ❝

Ice-cold rejection & vicious mockery: Alastor's version

the contrast of this is the best part.

Click here to listen to the Alastor one on YouTube

1. little big boy — madds buckley

he doesn't go easy on him. this is 0 compassion and 100% roast.

❞ brimstone fire and eyes aglow, little big boy's making the whole world know his name. raised on pillars and shining lights, breathing smoke for the right to keep his place. never satisfied 'till they all see how big this little boy can be. well the water's rising; tide's comin' in. does little big boy know how to swim in a pond filled with fish bigger than him? ❝

2. i help you hate me — sunrise avenue

he's so helpful fr but it's not working unfortunately

❞ i broke many hearts throughout my days. yours was the hardest one to face. though, I've never been a saint, i still love you every day, just not the lover kind of way. i know you wanna see me falling out, falling out the window. i know you wanna see me crashing down, crashing with my plane. baby, i'm way too young to die but I'll help you get over me. ❝

3. no surprise — daughtry

this is one of my favorite bands, i'm glad i got to include this.

❞ it came out like a river once i let it out when i thought that i wouldn't know how. held onto it forever just pushing it down, felt so good to let go of it now. not wrapping this in ribbons, shouldn't have to give a reason why: it's no surprise i won't be here tomorrow, i can't believe that I stayed 'til today. there's nothing here in this heart left to borrow. there's nothing here in this soul left to save. don't be surprised when we hate us tomorrow. ❝

4. go screw yourself — avery

i can picture him 1:1 delivering a swing version of this when vox confesses to him

❞ i know i've been holding it in, the way i feel about you. something i've been dying to say but I don't know how you'll take it; oh please don't go; you should know these three words i've been holding back; trying to fight, i'mma let 'em out... these three words, gotta let you know, here I go: go screw yourself. i've had enough, yeah, now we're done. ❝

5. the audacity — emelyn

this one's such a bop honestly. had to cut it in the video because i can't picture alastor realistically crying over anything vox-related.

❞ think your opinions should be broadcast... even though no one's subscribing, listening or liking but by all means, keep whining. must be tough if life's so rough. you should buy a mic, start a podcast, even though, wait, nobody asked. [...] where do all these men find the audacity? no actually, i'm stunned by your stupidity. ❝

6. friends — halocene

this one had to be on here.

❞ have you got no shame? you're looking insane turning up at my door. it's two in the morning, the rain is pouring, haven't we been here before? [...] so don't go look at me with that look in your eye, you really ain't going away without a fight. you can't be reasoned with, i'm done being polite. i've told you one, two, three, four, five, six thousand times. haven't I made it obvious? haven't I made it clear? want me to spell it out for you? f-r-i-e-n-d-s ❝

7. can't catch me now — olivia rodrigo

he likes the attention def especially after his return

❞ bet you thought i'd never do it, thought it'd go over my head. i bet you figured i'd pass with the winter, be somethin' easy to forget. oh, you think i'm gone 'cause i left but i'm in the trees, i'm in the breeze, my footsteps on the ground. you'll see my face in every place but you can't catch me now. through wading grass, the months will pass, you'll feel it all around. i'm here, i'm there, i'm everywhere but you can't catch me now ❝

8. take a hint — victoria justice & elizabeth gillies

this is on every rejection playlist and it's gonna be on mine too. a bop even after all these years.

❞ ask me for my number, yeah, you put me on the spot. you think that we should hook up, but I think that we should not. you had me at "hello", then you opened up your mouth and that is when it started going south. [...] what about "no" don't you get? so go and tell your friends i'm not really interested. it's about time that you're leavin', i'm gonna count to three and open my eyes and you'll be gone ❝

9. no — madilyn bailey & megan nicole

more rejection for y'all. the world needs more mean aroaces and this playlist is my contribution.

❞ first you gonna say you ain't runnin' game, thinking i'm believing every word; call me beautiful, so original, telling me I'm not like other girls, i was in my zone before you came along, now i'm thinking maybe you should go ❝

10. oh no — marina and the diamonds

a classic.

❞ don′t do love, don't do friends; i′m only after success. don't need a relationship, i'll never soften my grip [...] i know exactly what i want and who i want to be. i know exactly why i walk and talk like a machine. i'm now becoming my own self-fulfilled prophecy. ❝

Reblogs are appreciated!

#hazbin hotel #hazbin #alastor #hazbin hotel alastor #the radio demon #aroace alastor #hazbin hotel vox #one sided radiostatic #onesided radiostatic #staticradio #radiostatic #hazbin vox #vox

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sylveon-and-velveon · 4 months

Text

Playing "4 Big Guys" around the slashers

Shitpost idea has been made, so here XD

This will include: Michael Myers {OG & RZ}, Brahms Heelshire, Jason Voorhees, Billy Lenz, Freddy Krueger, Stu Macher, Billy Loomis, Thomas Hewitt, Bubba Sawyer, Harry Warden, Tiffany Valentine

Feel free to request any shitpost writing prompt ideas you can think of in my asks, I love silly non-serious ideas XD

Given the music is VERY adult related, this is 18+ ONLY

OG Michael Myers

Ain't gonna lie, the second you play that song he's probably staring at you instantly. Anger? Disappointment? Cursing your entire family and possible future children? Who knows! It's Michael-Fucking-Myers baby!!!

He's not used to anything sexual overall so hearing a song openly sing about gay sex, and in such a detailed way, would worry him. Not for the singer, no- more on your taste in music.

And don't even get me started on when he hears about shit being involved. The second he hears that being mentioned he's turning off the music entirely, patting your head, and dragging you away so you'll listen to something he likes instead to cleanse that weird mind of yours. Like... Kate Bush or something.

He'd like Kate Bush right? He looks like a Kate Bush enjoyer.

RZ Michael Myers

Judging you, hard. Though he ain't saying it. His aura is practically smellable he's judging you so hard.

Does he like it? No. It's loud, obnoxious, and profound filled. Ignoring the obvious "gay sex and other weirdness" part, the volume of the music reminds him of his childhood.

He's smashing the device the music is coming from. He doesn't care if it's your MP3 all the way to a damn TV or Alexa, he's smashing that shit to pieces if it means he doesn't need to hear it anymore.

What would he put on instead? Calming ambient noises that play for hours on end on YouTube. It's the exact opposite of whatever hellscape you just played. It's better.

Brahms Heelshire

Well first of all it ain't classical, so that's a point on the "I Hate This" list.

Second it's not a piano.

Third it's literally "4 Big Guys"-

Not only is this poor man confused about everything the singer is saying, I highly doubt his parents explained LGBTQ+ to him, he's also hating how loud it is.

"Who puts things up their ass?" - Brahms Heelshire 2024

You turn off the music yourself when he practically begs you to.

You're probably tryna hold in your laughter while he's sitting on the floor trying to figure out what the fuck he just heard.

Jason Voorhees

Is there a bigger word for "traumatized"? Because that man earns it.

You're lucky af, if his mom was live she'd hit you with a crowbar so fast- Not kill you tho, she wouldn't dare hurt her boy.

But yeah, he's not saying anything, nor moving. Bro's too traumatized. LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE-

You better give him his teddy he fucking deserves it TmT

Laughing his ass off until the shit is mentioned, even this horny gremlin has his limits.

Can you tell I hate shit kinks? XD

He'd want an apology for you blasting that song so far to that section. But no music! He hates Christmas songs, they're so repetitive and they all sound the same anyway.

Bake him a cake, the more unique the better. His favourite so far is red velvet with cream cheese frosting!

Then when he's finished eating you're getting railed by him not longer after, man's not changed. Not now, not ever.

Freddy Krueger

You can play this entire song with this man on REPEAT and he'd be fine with it.

I'd be surprised if he didn't given his track record and.... slicing open his skin to reveal green "blood" and maggots crawling out.

Would he laugh the first time? ABSOLUTELY!

Would he jokingly sing along, probably.

But he would TOTALLY play this song when going after his victims sometimes. Imagine dying and the last thing you hear is:

"4 BIG GUYS AND THEY GRAB ON MY THIGHS-"

Stu Macher & Billy Loomis

Billy is concerned for your wellbeing. Especially when you start singing it at full force with Stu joining in not long after.

Yeah Stu is enjoying this to the max!

Finds it hilarious, who the fuck wouldn't when you've got humour more broken than Brahms' doll-

But seeing you enjoying yourself to this.... absurdity, at least makes Billy calm down from worry. Now he's just concerned your taste in music may infiltrate your taste in movies.

I doubt the man's used to hearing music.... imagine this being his first time hearing it-

OMG he'd probably think this is normal for music.

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE??? XD

If it's not his first time hearing music though? No concern, laughter, nothing. He's neutral, given that this is something that makes you a little chaotic gremlin.

He's happy seeing you comfortable enough around to be a "gremlin" as you call it.

Bubba Sawyer

Don't traumatize him more than he's been already!!

Sure he doesn't realise it, or the fact he's used to it, but the poor guy's already traumatized-

Though he's probably more confused in the whole scheme of things. I mean, he knows what sex is. But just the surface of it.

So he's probably just learnt way too much in such a short period of time.

Oh lord what have you done-

Harry Warden

Okay first of all, why is there no GIF of this man? WTF????

Second; man's from the mines, man's old fashioned, you've probably just thrown way too much modern shit in his face way too quickly that he's just staring at you, the music video, and then the floor.

Poor miner is so confused, especially when the "cum starts spraying".

Oh god he'll probably think it's like dust from the mines spraying everywhere.

Fucking hell that's a vision-

Tiffany Valentine

Finds it amusing? Yes.

Judging? Not as much as you'd expect.

Girl's been through a wild ride, hearing you blast out "4 Big Guys" from your phone wouldn't be the most shocking thing in the world.

Hell. she'd probably encourage you to start singing along to it XD

Oh she's gonna use that song to torture someone with it. She doesn't know how yet, but she's got the idea in her head now

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definitelynotstable · 9 months

Text

Eyes On Me [Ghost x fem!Reader]

AN: Ok hello girlies and gays it’s (slight)angst time!!!!! Not sure how long this energy will last but knowing people have read and enjoyed your shit is addictive <3

Synopsis: You're stuck downloading intel with a load of hostiles banging at the door – what could go wrong? Word count: 1.7k Warnings: Blood, guns, wounds, crying? Ghost x fem!Reader (callsign “Rags” because it was the first thing that came to mind): once again not explicitly romantic but our boy Ghost doesn’t leap straight into the lovey-dovey shit - dude is traumatised to the max.

Once again, not proof-read. I don't have the attention span.

☾ ⋆･ﾟ:⋆･ﾟ

“Easy” and “in and out” were Laswell’s words. Well you had a few choice words lined up for her when you got back.

If you got back.

It was a shit show. Comms were down, it was snowing - no - blizzarding, and the supposedly “near-empty” compound was full of hostiles.

“God fucking dammit,” you swore as you fiddled with your comms, fingers frozen and stiff. “Rags to overwatch, how copy?”

Static hissed back. You resisted the urge to throw the piece of junk across the frozen concrete.

You were in too deep to back out - the way forwards was more clear than the way you had come. Alarms blared and the hallways filled with hostiles. M4 raised and ready, you made your way towards the room holding whatever intel you had been sent to retrieve.

You made it there with little pushback, locking the door behind you and pushing a table over to wedge under the handle. Flexing your thawing fingers, you pulled the hard drive from the front pocket of your vest, plugging it in to the main computer. It was blank for a moment and you felt your heart lurch.

Suddenly the drive blinked to life and code filled the screen.

███▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ 25%

Fuck. You didn’t have much time. You pressed your finger to your comms again, opening all channels.

“This is Rags, currently downloading intel. Anyone copy?”

Static buzzed for a second before a raspy Manchester accent cut through like a knife.

“Good to hear from you, Rags, this is Ghost. Comms are back, copy.”

You sighed heavily, leaning over the desk as the loading bar blinked up at you.

█████▒▒▒▒▒ 50%

“It’s at 50%, how long do I have LT?”

“Not long. Get out of there as soon as it’s at 100%. No time to mess around, copy?”

Chewing your lip and glancing over at the door pressed your comms again. “Copy, LT.”

☾ ⋆･ﾟ:⋆･ﾟ

The bar progressed slowly under your anxious gaze. A watched loading bar never loads, you thought tiredly. The gunshots in the background were steadily growing louder, you felt like a coiled spring about to be let loose.

“Rags, this is Price, Bravo have been held up, they can’t cover you. You need to get out of there now. Copy?”

████████▒▒ 80%

“Copy, Capt. It’s almost there, I’ll be out soon.”

“Not soon, now.” Ghost barked in your ear, “That is an order, sergeant.”

Gritting your teeth, you glanced back at the screen. It was so close. “Copy, LT.”

You weren’t leaving. Not yet. Slowly but surely it inched closer.

█████████▒ 90%

Someone or something bashed into the door. The lock broke, the table you had shoved under the handle held.

██████████ 100%

Breathing quickly and with shaking hands, you ejected the drive and ripped it out - shoving it back into your pocket.

“Exit point compromised, requesting support, copy.”

“Copy,” Price yelled over gunshots, “Bravo is almost there, hold the fort sergeant.”

Something rammed into the door again. You swore loudly. You didn’t have time. Looking around quickly you shoved the computer from the table, yanking it out of the way before pushing the table up against the wall. There was a window just out of reach you could use the table to get to. Praying it wasn’t bullet proof, you fired a single round. It shattered around you like confetti. Using the butt of your riffle to clear the jagged edge, you heaved yourself up.

A crack sounded from across the room. You turned back in surprise. The table against the door slid back. Something was lobbed into the room. A grenade. Glass crunched under your feet, you didn’t have the time to find cover. It exploded in front of you.

☾ ⋆･ﾟ:⋆･ﾟ

Faintly you registered a voice in your ear. Someone was shaking you. Your body had turned to lead.

Pain seared, fast and sharp against your cheek. Someone had slapped you. Blood dripped from your hairline into your left eye as you blinked up. A skull was floating in front of you.

Ghost?

“Ghost!” Price yelled over the comms, “How copy?”

You couldn’t move your arm to answer. The man in front of you raised his hand to reply. You were jealous. Why couldn’t you move your arm?

“Copy. Need immediate EXFIL.” The Lieutenant rasped, eyes locked onto yours.

“Can you make it to the extraction point?”

Ghost swept his across over you

“We can try.”

You startled as he grasped the front of your vest, pulling you firmly to your feet.

“Can you stand sergeant?”

The world tilted. His words were clear but didn’t register. He swore. They didn’t have the time for this. Looping an arm behind your back, Ghost pulled you along, noting how you sagged against him. You needed a medic but it would have to wait.

“Gaz!”

The sergeant guarding the door turned quickly, eyes widening as he noticed you slumped against their lieutenant.

“Yeah LT?”

“Heading to evac now, cover us?”

The man nodded, lips set in a firm line. “On it LT.”

☾ ⋆･ﾟ:⋆･ﾟ

The heli came into view, Ghost was practically carrying you now. Your head lolled against him, pulse slow but steady - he had discarded his glove a while back and his fingers were tucked just under your jawline.

“Clear the floor!” Ghost roared over the beat of the chopper, “get a med-kit, now!”

Eyes wide, Soap heaved the gear cluttering the floor out of the way as Price set out a spine-board. Someone pulled the door shut behind them as he lay you onto the board.

Gaz pulled various items out of the med-kit as Ghost helped remove your vest.

“Fuck,” He whispered under his breath, Gaz looked up and followed his gaze.

“Shit.”

A shard of glass was wedged just under your rib.

Gaz turned to Price who crouched at his shoulder, “How long till RTB?”

The captains face was grim, “A few hours at least.”

Nodding Gaz turned to meet the lieutenants gaze, Ghost had a feeling he knew what the sergeant was about to say.

“We gotta take it out here.”

“Take what out?” You stirred where you lay, blinking blearily up at the four men surrounding you.

Sensing everyone’s hesitance, Soap spoke up with a small smile. “You roll around in a bit of glass, lass?”

You craned your neck to have a look but a strong hand pushed you back down. Stern blue eyes behind a skeleton mask hovered, again, in front of you.

“Remember what happened?” Price asked as Gaz got to work cleaning the more minor wounds littering your body.

You nodded, head nudging Ghost’s knee beside you. “Grenade. Fuckers lobbed one into the room just as I was leaving.”

Soap whistled from where he sat on the side opposite Ghost. “No wonder yer so torn up.”

“Soap.” The lieutenant growled, “not helpful.”

You grinned weakly up at Soap who was looking reproachful. “I appreciate the honesty, Soap.”

“Alright,” Gaz interrupted, he had shed his vest and rolled back his sleeves, latex gloves covered his hands. The smell of antiseptic filled the dusty air. “In the spirit of honesty, this’ll hurt. I’ll need you boys to hold her down.”

Price, headset still on, bent over your legs, pinning them down as Soap reached over your chest. You shivered as cool hands curled themselves either side of your head. Ghost. His thumbs came to rest behind your ears and fingers against the nape of your neck.

“Alright, Rags? You ready?”

“Don’t fuck it up, Gaz,” you say, lips quirking as he huffs.

The first piece of glass came out easily but the next hurt like a motherfucker. You sniffed holding back tears. The military wasn’t particularly the safest environment to cry, especially as a woman.

“You can cry if you need.” Ghost’s soft voice catches you off guard.

“What?” You blink up at the blue eyes above you.

“Cry. It’s good for you.”

You laugh, wincing at the movement. “Y-yeah?”

The stern lieutenant nods, blinking back at you. “I’ve done it myself a few times.”

Soap nods his head from where he is stretched across you, “I’ve seen it m’self.”

Ghost looks up and though his eyes are out of your view you can tell he is glaring at his friend.

You let out a breathy laugh again, lip wobbling. “Alright, if you say so LT.”

“I do.” The gruff voice replies, eyes returning to you.

Glass clinks as Gaz pulls out another shard. “These next few are going to suck.”

Tears leak faster than you can hold them back. Guess it really is time to cry.

“Eyes on me, darlin’.” The lieutenant spoke as his thumb swiped under your eye, holding your gaze as another piece of glass is dislodged. You’ve started shaking. Probably shock.

Price grips your legs tighter, and whispers something to Gaz. He nods, holding the tweezers just out of your sight.

“Almost there,” Price grunts, “you’re not broken yet, soldier.”

“No, sir,” you smile, focusing on the way Ghost’s fingers brush your cheek and tickle at the nape of your neck.

Gaz swears. A wave of pain swamps you and your vision fades.

☾ ⋆･ﾟ:⋆･ﾟ

When you come to, the hands are still there, holding your head. It’s softer than the spinal-board though. And warmer. You shift slightly and the hands softly but firmly hold you still. You blink up and he’s still there.

You’re in his lap, you realise.

He looks at you carefully, like he is asking if everything is ok.

You give him a small smile. “Alright, LT?”

He lets out a surprised huff, chest rumbling. You feel your smile widening as his eyes crinkle slightly.

“Yeah, you?” His voice is husky and quiet, warm breath fanning over your face.

You are the only ones awake you realise. Soap and Gaz snore softly in seats to your left and Price likely in the cockpit.

“Am now.” You reply, closing your eyes, sighing as the lieutenant’s thumb strokes your jaw.

☾ ⋆･ﾟ:⋆･ﾟ

Masterlist

#ghost x reader #simon ghost riley #simon ghost riley x reader #task force 141 #141 x reader #call of duty #cod mw2 #light angst #fluff #cod fanfic #ghost call of duty #ghost mw2 #ghost cod #ghost x you #simon ghost x reader #simon riley x reader #simon riley #simon ghost riley x you #simon riley x you

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qsphyxias · 11 months

Text

if you read yaoi and/or bl regularly as a woman, get the fuck out of here!

synopsis ; miguel x male! reader

warnings ; male reader, cussing, no spoilers from the movie other than his existence

note ; that movie fucked me up ong, what the actual FUCK MARVEL HAD NO FUCKNG RIGHT TO DO THAT WHAT?? WHY IS HE SO BEAUTIFUL I STOOD IN A HOSPITAL WAITING ROOM FOR 20 MINUTES WATCHING MIGUEL EDIT COMPILATIONS. ON YOUTUBE. oh fun surprise at the end

words ; 0.5k +

"that's odd." you spoke to no one in particular, your chin resting on the back of your hand as you examined the back of miguel's... well, his rear.

"great." miguel huffed, blinking away his concentration on the screens before him, "what is it this time, s/o?" he swivelled his abdomen slightly to glance at you. with a pose like that... arms crossed, hip turned in a 45 degree angle, and his head looking over his shoulder at you; you could only chuckle.

miguel, once unbothered, was now VERY bothered. what were you laughing at?

"what the— why do you look like you know something i don't?" this time, miguel fully turned around; you had his full, undivided attention now. with a hand held up to your mouth to conceal your shameless laughter, you stood still as miguel made his way towards you. he wanted to take a closer look at the, what you call, humour of the situation.

"i'm sorry, it's just... um." your hand dropped from your face to his shoulder. you used his sturdy, well... extremely sturdy bicep, as a stabilizer as you tried to break the news.

"... what?" he narrowed his eyes at you, suspicion clear in his voice.

in turn, you avoided his stare by looking at your thumbs; twiddling them. "nothing..."

"oh for christ's— spit it out!" resorting to slight violence, he shoved your shoulder lightly, pushing you against a wall (since when were walls in here?).

surrendering, you rose your hands. "i was just thinking about your butt! okay!?" you sulked, dropping your head on his chest. "i am only a man." your voice was muffled, by your shame was clear.

"you cannot be serious." he pulled your head back gently by the tufts of your hair, just so he could look at you.

"i'm sorry, but your suit... it kind of makes you look like a slut-" you couldn't even finish your sentence before a loud, audible gasp filled the Spider-Man's lungs.

"excuse me?" your boyfriend's beautiful baritone voice was tragically replaced by a shrill, lady-at-the-grocery-store sound.

you grinned at his offended expression, "what- aw, does my boyfriend not want me objectifying him?" you blinked at him and pouted, leaning against him as he scoffed grumpily at you.

miguel sighed and lifted his arm up pointedly, beginning his defence—you, in turn, you took the opportunity to wrap your arms around his exposed waist. "just so we're clear; i'm not your boyfriend, you're MY boyfriend." completely desensitized to your PDA, he spoke confidently as if it was any different to what you just said; as if claiming property of a little gay boy was something to be proud of.

you could only pause, and stand in shock.

"..." you couldn't even look at him.

"..." all he was doing, was looking at you.

"i apologize. that sounded better in my head-"

"don't worry; i get it. you want me to be your boyfriend AND your pimp." before miguel could even think to catch you, you managed to sneak a satisfying squeeze on his left cheek before you started sprinting away, as fast as you humanly can.

"s/o, come back here!"

"totally worth it! you can't say that shit during pride month, miguel!"

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a-dauntless-daffodil · 2 months

Note

I’ve returned from my sketchbook quest , and here’s a drawing for dauntless-daffodil , who came up with the idea for the spear baby au.

THEM HAS COOKIE!!! ;A; <3 <3 <3 <3 SMOL WITH COOKIE!!!

AWWWWWW~

oh gods looking at that cute little innocent face i can just FEEEEEEL baby spear watching as chaggie and the hotel all stand around them hotly debating What Food Is Even Healthy For A Baby Spear Spawn Child To Be Eating

Charlie: "A cookie??"

Angel Dust: "They don' need cookies, ya useless gays, they need milk!"

Charlie: "We had cookies in the hotel??"

Vaggie: "Why would they need milk? They've got teeth already! Fangs, even!"

Angel Dust: "That ain't how nutrition an' shit WORKS toots!"

Niffty: (shakes jar full of money) "SWEAR JAR!"

Angel Dust: "Fuck. Shit." (hands over three dollars)

Charlie: "Since when are there cookies in the hotel that I don't know know about???"

Cherri: "If they've got fangs and like chewing stuff, maybe they need meat or something?"

Niffty: "OR BLOOD!!!"

Vaggie: "We are NOT-"

Angel Dust: "Ain't no baby under my watch gettin' fed steaks and BLOOD!"

Charlie: "Where did the cookie even COME from?!"

Husk: (coughs)

Charlie: "Husk! You gave them-?"

Husk: "....bar's always got snacks. And they were just. Staring at me."

Angel Dust: "Husky noooooo....!"

Vaggie: "How? I did a double sweep for undeclared cookies just two days ago- you KNOW what Charlie does to your bar if she goes snack hunting in the middle of night and actually finds something. She's like an adorable cookie gremlin."

Charlie: "Heheh!"

Husk: "Yeah well, she's not the only one allowed to like f- fffffffudging cookies. And your kid seems to take after her, so whatever."

Angel Dust: "Baby cat, that's no reason ta- oh for cryin' out loud, now what Vaggot?"

Vaggie: "...what? I didn't say anything."

Charlie: "Vaggieee, you're smiling~"

Vaggie: "Huh?"

Husk: "Like a dumb... dumb."

Niffty: "Beaming! Grinning! AS WIDE AS A SLIT THROAT-"

Cherri: "-fuck fuck fuck, shit shit, damn crap hell- here, take my money and don't fucking talk like THAT in front of the kid either, what the fuck."

Angel Dust: "Sickening."

Niffty: "Thanks!"

Angel Dust: "I meant Darth Vaggie getting all googey eye'd over her an' Charlie chip having a kid."

Charlie: "Oh so you think they're my kid too, huh?"

Angel Dust: "Are ya gonna let Vaggie raise 'em without ya?"

Charlie: "No~pe~!!!"

Angel Dust: "Then congrats on parenthood ta both of ya, it's already going to hell."

Vaggie: "Okay, uh-"

Husk: "You're gonna fffffeathering cry again."

Vaggie: "-no I'm not, I'm just glad the... my kid isn't still crying. Our kid. They, really are pretty happy with the cookie aren't they?"

Charlie: "Of course they are! It's CHOCOLATE CHIP!!"

Angel Dust: "It's not. Baby food."

Charlie: "It is if it's my baby, and they get milk to go with the cookie!"

Angel Dust: "V-gal, stop her! Use ya dang mom veto!!"

Vaggie: "Eh. Charlie was a hellborn kid and she grew up fine. I trust her."

Charlie: "AWww!!!"

Angel Dust: "Unbelievable."

Husk: "Whipped."

Vaggie: "Yeah? My kid didn't even have to say anything to get a cookie out of you, fluff boy."

Cherri: "Uh, guys.... gays...?"

Husk: "What."

Charlie & Vaggie: "What?"

Angel Dust: "Both and speaking, baby."

Cherri: "Where did..... the baby go...?"

Hotel crew: "....."

Place where baby was: (empty except for crumbs)

Spear Baby: (gone)

Vaggie: (wings bristling) "The-"

Charlie: "OUR!"

Vaggie: "Our-"

Demon Charlie: "-BABY!?"

Niffty: "MOTHER OF FUCK." (throws down swear jar) (tries throwing herself onto the broken shards but angel dust and husk grab her)

-meanwhile, elsewhere in the hotel-

Alastor: (walking quickly)

Spear Baby: (crawling after him)

Alastor: "....shoo."

Spear Baby: "Guh!"

Alastor: (nervous sweating) (walks FASTER)

#hazbin hotel #charlie morningstar #vaggie #chaggie #angel dust hazbin hotel #husk hazbin hotel #niffty hazbin hotel #cherri bomb hazbin hotel #alastor the radio demon #chaggie spear baby au thing #incorrect quotes #silly stuff #Alastor: here. this is yours i presume #charlie: oh thank f- ALASTOR! WHY IS MY KID HANGING OFF YOUR MICROPHONE BY THEIR TEETH??? THEY'RE NOT A F- FIDLING FISH!!#vaggie: ...are you scared of our kid?#alastor: wha-ha-ha-hy! What a marvelously strange suggestion! Don be absurd~!#vaggie: (holds kid out at them)#spear baby: (starts crying)#alastor: (static hiss) (summons husk in front of him as a living shield)#charlie: vaggie /no/. don't weaponize our child please #vaggie: (giving her the kid) (Grinning) aw babe it was only just a LITTLE bit of weaponizing them...#alastor: for the record- I was NOT scared ha HA!#husk: then why the f- fandangle am /i/ here?#alastor: (tight-lipped smile) (banishes him)#vaggie: (SMIRKS)

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weebsinstash · 2 months

Note

could we get some valentino x male reader pls?

Bruh I've been actually on Valentino x male/intersex male Reader so hard lately (and I don't mention intersex for like fetish reasons but. I don't know what having a dick feels like and sometimes I'm like "well what if boy but. Vagine" and, shut up its my gender expression power fantasy, maybe I wanna have muscles and broad shoulders, leave me alone 💀)

Right off the top of my head, I've had ideas recently for:

-boy band lead vocalist! male Reader! Just. Ok. Imagine Reader and Angel having kind of a beef with each other and at some point it becomes a sort of "oh yeah, well I can XYZ better than you" kind of competition amd Angel says some shit like "you wouldn't know what it takes to come out here and strut for a bunch of perverts who look at you like you're a piece of meat" and you just hit him with some shit like "bitch I LITERALLY sucked FIVE DICKS so I could headline for the Superbowl, you fucking LOSER, you dont know ACTUAL music, i was AN ARTIST" and you start belting out something sexy with a choreographed dance that is clearly professional level skill

-male Reader with a little sister and you protect her from Valentino by offering to take her place. You've never sucked a single dick in your life and hell you might not even be gay but Valentino has your baby sister's life in his hands and, you've got to protect HER if not yourself

- ughhhhhh I'm probably gonna make this it's own post too but I've been ON my "unwilling red string soulmate" personal indulgence lately and. Just. Valentino who sees his red string appear and OBVIOUSLY he's gotta RUN to find his boo and he finds you and immediately thinks you're the most precious adorable sexy little thing, BUT. You just. Look straight at him and how HUGE he is and reply "i-im not... actually into men 😳" which is a LIE of course and, here's Valentino thinking, AW, his poor little baby gay! You've never had a boyfriend or gone to any clubs? TRAGIC! But also perfect because he is just TICKLED watching you get flustered beyond belief! So cute!

-I feel like. He would try and give you boners on purpose and think it's the cutest most erotic thing. He's got you sitting next to him and you're filled with liquor and he starts REALLY laying on the flirting, maybe even... places his palm on your upper thigh and BOOM. Hard as a rock and you can't even hide it because he makes you wear tight pants all the time. He's just over there, "what's going on amorcito? :3c you feeling a little hot under the collar?" as if he didn't just spend like 15 minutes talking about how he'd love to get you on your back and touch EVERY INCH of you, how he'd love to TASTE you--

-this is gender neutral but, convinced he eventually forces you to do some of those sexy pin-ups with him and one day you're walking around Vee Tower and he just has that shit HANGING UP. Poster You is just braced against his chest looking at the camera all demure and vulnerable while he's like. Got his guns out looking all tough like "mess with my pookie and you're through" and of course he makes you do. Sexy ones. Matching lingerie?

-I think of forced feminization with a male Reader sometimes actually. Like you wear boxy unflattering shit on purpose and one day Vals just like "you've got a small waist for a guy" and is checking you over. It starts off small. He starts wanting to style you. Then he wants you to update your skincare routine. Which is all fine right? But then he starts pushing his personal tastes. You've got such nice muscular thighs... which is why you would look so nice in some fishnets. He'd love to see your cute little butt in a thong while you cover your dick with your hands in MAJOR EMBARRASSMENT. You've got such pretty eyes; can Daddy put some mascara on you?

Valentino straight up punishing you by dressing you in full lingerie, your ass is in garters, heels, full glam makeup, and forcing you to pose for some cell phone pics

-still over here just mentally 🤌🤌🤌 at the idea of Valentino taking male Reader out with him and Angel and you've got matching outfits. You and Angel are in little skimpy, color matching fits while he's in a suit and gold chain, something that makes him feel powerful while he shows off his favorite toys

-I rllllly like the idea of like, a male Reader who is a honeypot assassin. You can be extremely charismatic and charming and seductive but it's all a front; you're an S tier actor and you take your targets down when they least expect it. The Vees are all at the club and some upstart wannabe new Overlord decides to attack and you just JOHN WICK THAT SHIT. Picture the Vees just sitting there, everything is peaceful, suddenly, in a flash, you move your serving tray in front of Valentino just in time to block a bullet. All three Vees are like wtf? How did you even know? What's going on? You proceed to totally wreck shit improvising weapons as the attacker and his goons charge forth and you even wind up grabbing a whip from a nearby dancer and using it as a WEAPON WEAPON and that shit looks like it HURTS. You're out here "Michelle Pfeiffer taking out 5 mannequin heads in one take"ing that shit. You're cutting people IN HALF (because having hell powers is cool leave me alone)

-i like the idea of male Reader who was a professional male model and a bit of a tailor himself, like a real kind of posh art student kind of type. You're with Valentino and Velvette notices how impeccably you're dressed and asks you where you bought it, you just, not so humbly brush yourself off. "Oh no, I made this myself. Nothing down here really fit my tastes" and suddenly you're like, custom designing wardrobes for ALL the Vees

Honestly just "Reader in XYZ Profession is exploited by Val/the Vees for their skills" is an idea I've had a lot. You have a hobby in baking so they always want food from you. You used to cook drugs so they make you work for them. You're a polyglot so youre taken along on business meetings to make sure none of the Vees business partners are planning shit in front of them. Like. Imagine just being the bitch who sits in the corner of the meeting room and shoots project/product ideas at them and it's like ACTUALLY successful and they're totally receptive and like you. You're just "Hey Valentino, what if you and Velvette did a collab on a waterproof mascara where you shot a porno in one continuous take so you can show the actor putting on the mascara, setting it down on the vanity, and then they start choking on a dick and their mascara doesn't run" like. They love you. Vox is just like "so, any new ideas today" and you're just using your VoxTek Premium Exclusive Black Card to cut coke into lines, "*snooooooort* uhhhhh.... I got some ideas for some stupid little mobile games you can put tons of micro transactions in? Like just before i died there was this one game that was getting really popular but it had a lot missing, we could-" and they could all just kiss you

-on God, Fs in the chat for virgin male Readers who have Valentino finally pop that cherry. I feel like he'd find out you've never had so much as fingers in your ass and within that WEEK you're being dosed with love potion and taking him balls deep

-Val's the kinda yandere where he tells you you're safe being closeted with him, he'll keep your secret, he'll let you stay on the downlow, but one day he so much as ASSUMES disrespect from you and he's immediately letting everyone know exactly who you belong you. You're arguing with him and you go completely silent and cross your arms or some shit and he just takes a hit from his cigarette, "you know you looked a lot more handsome when you were screaming on my cock the other night" and outs you just like that, either as gay or as fucking him or both. Imagine Angel not knowing you slept with Val and he immediately gives you this hurt expression BECAUSE HE TOTALLY DOESNT HAVE A THING FOR YOU TOO

-Valentino would absolutely make male Reader and Angel fuck while he watches and or films it, and also tbh I feeeeeeeel like. Angel would be ok with trans or intersex men tbh? Idk. It's not clear exactly what his taste in men is? He doesn't mind when men are shorter than him, so, like, is he a switch? He gives huge switch energy and let's face it, that's one TALL twink. I mean look at him holding Charlie! He's strong for his size too! Pole dancing takes a lot of upper body strength!

Oh no... not me suddenly thinking about a scarier yandere angel dust who is a lot stronger than you thought... Yandere Angel Dust who corners you and takes you completely by surprise and you get a GUTTING display of just how strong his arms actually are. You're thinking "oh he's just some lanky bottom twink, he couldnt overpower me, in fact I'm scared i might hurt him, he's delicate" but like HONEY HE CAN SUPPORT HIS ENTIRE BODY WEIGHT BY JUST HIS ARMS OR THIGHS. He's a FIT twink.

-ive said it before but uh once Angel Has It Bad Enough, like Bad Bad Bad, he's over here, "oh Daddy, I'm just soOoOo scared uxu ya know my buddy Reader, that one ya think is cute? Well, he was drinkin' earlier and he mentioned wanting to move FAR away and he wouldn't tell me WHERE 🥺 I'm just so worried he won't be able to take care of himself, you know, what, with all that trauma about his FATHER and-- oh he didn't tell you? He's really vulnerable to BIG. SCARY MEN and im wooooorrrrrriiiied, what if he gets hurt, talk to him Daddy PleeeeEEeEease? 🥺" like. He might still hate Val's fucking guts but he's high on coke and watching Valentino put some real inches in you and he's having the most explosive guilt-filled nut of his entire afterlife

-im sorry I'm just picturing Reader being like "I'm not fucking gay, fuck off, leave me alone" and Velvette just not even looking up from her phone, "I saw you using that $200 hand cream. You're so deep in the closet you're finding Christmas presents"

"I'm not fucking gay" "amorcito I've seen the pants you like to wear. No straight men wears those"

"I told you guys I'm not into men!!" "That's what I thought too until I met Al- VAL! Until I met VAL! [OuO']"

Then one night you're off work and none of the Vees or even Angel know where you're at and they wind up in a club and, there you are, getting absolutely fucking wasted, on top of one of the counters, you know those clubs that have random pokes everywhere, and you're dancing, you're getting real zesty with it, you're dropping your ass, and here's Valentino jumping to his feet pointing a finger, "so you DO know how to pole dance!!!" and your fate is sealed from there on in 💀💀💀

#yandsre hazbin hotel #hh #yandere hellaverse #yandere x reader #sinprompts

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epicsteddieficrecs · 1 year

Text

Epic Steddie Fic Rec | May 8th-May28th 2023

So just like I got infected by the Steddie brainrot last fall, I've now fallen deep into the gay firefighters show and the last 10 pages of my ao3 is full of Buddie fics 😆 so most of these fics were read in the first two weeks of this rec...

Complete

one of the good things by loveinhawkins/ @loveinhawkins (Nobody Dies AU | < 1K | General): Eddie is staring at him. He sets the guitar aside, leaning forward and peering at Steve like he’s doing something particularly fascinating. “You’re angry.” Steve shakes his head reflexively, feels a prickle of defensiveness. He keeps his voice as even as he can when he says, “No, I’m not.” “Oh, you are,” Eddie says softly. Something must show on Steve’s face because he amends, “Like, not… Don’t worry. Not a loud anger.”

proof we’re here by loveinhawkins/ @loveinhawkins (<1K | General): “I used to wonder about this place,” Robin tells Eddie as they lounge on the couch, looking up at Steve’s pristine ceiling, not a cobweb in sight. “Huh?” Robin smirks knowingly. “Come on, you must have wondered, too.” She puts on a hushed voice of mock reverence. “The King of Hawkins High roaming these hallowed halls… if walls could speak…”

you're so fine, you blow my mind by griesly (PWP, Crossdressing | 4K | Explicit): Eddie walks in on a very private moment, with unexpected (and thoroughly enjoyable) consequences.

buzzer-beater history by loveinhawkins/ @loveinhawkins (S4 Missing Scene | 1,7K | General): When Lucas Sinclair starts to apologise for missing The Cult of Vecna, Eddie initially thinks that he’s hearing things. “Jesus, Sinclair. I’ve got an ongoing list of folks who owe me an apology since, like, sixth grade, and trust me, your name’s not on there. Can pretty confidently say it never will, okay?” Eddie sees Steve tilt his head ever so slightly from where he’s walking just ahead of them, like he’s listening in. Spots his faint nod of approval. Eddie can’t decide if he resents it or finds it endearing—kind of gets the ridiculous feeling that Steve’s vetting him on behalf of the kids.

halving the compass by griesly (No Upside Down AU, Fake Relationship | 8K | Explicit): Forced to attend his father's elitist black tie gala, Steve Harrington asks along the one person sure to throw a wrench in the works - Eddie Munson. It's only for show, of course. It's not a real date. ...or is it?

Say Xanathar by pinkcash (PWP | 8K | Explicit): Eddie comes to sell Steve weed and leaves with a lot more information about him than he had originally. Like, for instance, he’s not nearly as straight as he thinks he is

Steve the Reluctant by rachtay13/ @rachtay13 (Post-S4 | 46K | Explicit): Robin raised her brows. “You know what, Harrington?” She nodded her head. “Yeah, you know what? I dare you to make a friend. I dare you.”

Dream Boy by indelicate/ @steddielations (Post-S4 | 8K | Teen): Or, Steve goes to see Eddie’s band play and finally finds what he’s been looking for.

Melt Me On Your Tongue by indelicate/ @steddielations (PWP, BDSM | 6K | Explicit): “This okay?” “Yeah it’s— shit, it’s more than okay, Steve.” “… you’re crying, Eds.” Eddie can’t hold back a choked off noise then, somewhere between an overwhelmed laugh and a sob. “No one’s ever done this to me before.” He doesn’t know if he means no one’s ever given him a bath, or braided his hair, or just any of the things Steve does for him, really. Eddie's never had a Steve before.

I Wish I Knew You Wanted Me by indelicate/ @steddielations (Getting Together | 1,9K | Teen): Or, Steve finds out why Eddie likes wearing his clothes so much.

three whistles in the dark by loveinhawkins/ @loveinhawkins (S4 | < 1K | General): “Why are you whistling?” Eddie asks after he’s heard Steve do it for the fourth time. “Huh?” Eddie imitates him; it’s not like Steve is just casually following a tune in his head—it sounds deliberate. Encouraging whistles, one right after the other, in groups of three. Like a… like a call to something.

i’m down on my knees (i wanna take you there) by twelvexclara (Pre-S4 | 4K | Explicit): Steve really needs to pass his English class. So who better than to visit the resident genius/freak, Eddie Munson?

The Intuition of Claudia Henderson by loveinhawkins/ @loveinhawkins (Post-S4, Claudia POV | 1,8K | General): Claudia opens the door quietly. It’s not Max who’s in the bed. And there, lying so peacefully against Eddie Munson’s shoulder, is Dustin. He’s fast asleep. Eddie’s got an arm around him, and he’s slowly running his fingers through Dustin’s hair the way she used to when he was little, to help him drift off. He looks up from his book at the sound of her entering the room, and his face goes as white as the bedsheets.

🖤 i've been having a horrible time pulling myself together by deadratz (Post-S4 Fix-it | Friends With Benefits | 74K | Explicit): The last thing Eddie thinks as he draws his final breath is that Henderson is gonna need a shit ton of therapy. But then, Eddie wakes up, gasping for air, and miraculously, he's being rescued. Now he has to figure out how to live.

WIP

🖤 better by you, better than me by palmviolet/ @palmviolet (Canon Divergent, Season 1-2 | 32/? | 167K | Mature | Warning: Violence): November 1983. Between unpaid bills, the supposedly straight jock he’s seeing, and letters from his convict dad, seventeen year old Eddie Munson’s got enough to worry about. But when Will Byers goes missing, it sparks a chain of events that will show there are more depths to Hawkins — and to certain people in it, like infamous Steve ‘The Hair’ Harrington — than he realizes. / or, the excessively long slow-burn in which Eddie is involved in the Upside Down from the very beginning.

Bandaids for the Heart by LexiRoseWrites/ @lexirosewrites (Modern AU, A/B/O, Nurse Steve | 1/16 | 5K | Explicit): Steve has been a pediatric nurse for long enough to know that Eddie and his daughter shouldn’t be seeing him in the emergency room this often. Ellie Munson can only shove so many marbles up her nose and eat so many crayons before he starts to think the five year old might have an ulterior motive.

🖤 Trouble Looks Good On You by indelicate/ @steddielations (Post S4 | 3/5 | 35K | Explicit): It happens like a fever dream. The first time Steve gives Eddie a swift smack on the ass, it’s obviously just an old jock habit that’s stuck with him. It wasn’t meant to have Eddie’s knees going weak, or turn his blood hot under his skin, or give him a brand in the shape of Steve Harrington’s hand, or— Nope, because Eddie’s not even into that. But then, it happens again. Or, Steve keeps accidentally awakening Eddie’s new kinks.

Until We Fall by indelicate/ @steddielations (Fake Relationship | 3/6 | 19K | Teen): “Hate to break it to you, Buckley, but you can’t set Steve up on a date ‘cause he’s already got plans… with me.” Or, it starts with a drunken night and a plan that Steve can’t remember making, but Eddie sure does.

🖤 Reboot by plutosrose/ @plutosrose (Modern AU, Actor Steve & Eddie | 8/10 | 30K | Explicit): In 2012, Steve Harrington and Eddie Munson film a scene in the teen drama Normal Stuff that launches a popular ship on ao3. By early 2013, they aren’t speaking anymore. In 2024, Robin calls Steve with an offer to reprise his role as Andy Hartley in a reboot of their old show, with one important update–his character gets together with Eddie’s.

🖤 Steve Harrington’s Radical Fun Time Babysitting Service by Humanities_Handbag / @humanityinahandbag, Invader_Sam (No Upside Down AU, 90’s | 26/? | 100K | Mature): Alternatively: Steve accidentally starts a babysitting service, falls in love, panics [in bisexual], and gets himself a boyfriend. (Part 1 of 90’s Music Store AU)

the weight of us by loveinhawkins/ @loveinhawkins (Dustin-centric, Post-S4 | 2/3 | 8K | Teen): It’s only once everything is okay that Dustin starts thinking there’s something deeply wrong with him.

#steddie #stranger things #steddie fic #steddie fanfiction #steddie fic rec #epic steddie fic rec

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slamminslamminmcgill · 1 year

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How would Saul and Lalo react if reader had no experience with head😳 I imagine they’d coach them through it but ahhhhhh my brain can’t even handle the thought of all the praise

CUUUUUUUTE 🥺🥺🥺

Saul

"Ow! Watch the teeth, kid!"

You pulled your mouth off immediately once you heard Saul hiss in pain. "Oh, shit! Sorry! Are you okay?"

Saul smoothed your hair as he collected himself. "Yeah, yeah, I'm good, no worries. Just, uh... just open your mouth a bit more, I guess? And maybe, like, keep your tongue over your bottom teeth. Covers the chompers, ya get me?"

You took a quick catch breath and accepted the criticism in stride. "Okay, I can do that. So, uh... was I doing okay otherwise?"

"Oh yeah! I mean, for your first time, not bad! I'm impressed, actually. Suckin' dick is harder than it looks..." He smiled, then backtracked immediately once he realized how gay that sounded, as if having another man sucking his dick somehow wasn't gay, "...so I'm told."

You snickered and went back to work, starting by pressing a few wet kisses to his balls. When you did that, you could feel him tense up and whimper, louder than he had been the whole time. Oh? That seemed to be a weakness of his. You'd have to come back to that. You licked up the length of his cock and gave it a few pumps with your hand before you took him back in, taking his advice to heart. It seemed to be working, if his noises of pleasure were any indication.

"Oh, that's it..." He sighed, gently patting your hair. "That's my boy... That's MUCH better..."

You pulled your lips off him and spit on his tip. From there, you spread your saliva down his shaft and lowered yourself back down to his balls. You wanted to test your theory and see if that really was his weakness. Sure enough, he started whining and singing your praise once you ran your tongue across them.

"Oh! Oh my god, yes! Yes!" He panted, "God, fuck, kid, you're..." You took one into your mouth and gently sucked on it. "Ngh! Ohhh, you're gonna be the death of me..."

Lalo

This was terrifying.

You could feel Lalo staring down at you, almost evaluating you. He was quiet. Eerily quiet. Shouldn't he be like moaning or something? Oh god, were you boring him? You totally were, weren't you? The thoughts raced in your head until his deep voice drew them to a halt.

"You don't have to be so nice, y'know."

You froze and looked up at him in confusion, your mouth still full of cock. "Hmm?"

Lalo chuckled and nudged you off him. "I mean you're being too careful, baby. You nervous or something? It's not gonna bite you, sweetheart."

You drew your eyes away from him and sighed. "Well, I mean... kinda... I've never really done this before..."

Lalo cupped your face in his hands and gave you some words of encouragement. "Really? Well, for a first-timer, you're doing alright. You want some help?"

Help? What, was he gonna suck himself off? Give you a demonstration? You answered hesitantly. "Wh... What do you mean?"

Lalo smiled and caressed your cheek. "Well, for starters, don't be afraid to get messy. Like, the wetter the better, y'know? And don't worry about making it pretty. You're cute either way. I'll enjoy the show."

You blushed and laughed nervously. "I... Yeah, okay... So like... be messy?"

"Yeah! Really messy. And take it deeper, if you can. If you gag, you'll actually make more spit and it lubes it up for you." Lalo ran his fingers through your hair and held his cock against your lips. "Do you want me to show you?"

You could tell what was coming. You were staring it right in the face, and you liked what you saw. "I... Yeah... Not too crazy though, alright?"

Lalo chuckled again. "Of course. Just relax."

Apparently, he must have had a different definition of crazy, because you were thoroughly unprepared for him to start. He knotted his fingers in your hair and used your mouth to jerk himself off, hard, fast, and relentless. He forced you down to the base and held you there as you gagged. He seemed to be enjoying himself, throwing his head back and cursing under his breath as you drenched his cock in drool.

"Oh, eso es. Está bien, cariño... Carajo, tu boca de puta me siente tan bueno... (Oh, that's it... That's good, sweetheart... Goddamn, your whore mouth feels so good.)" He pulled you off him and let you breathe after coughing up more spit. He laughed at the sight of you. "There you go! Good boy! Are you sure you haven't done this before?"

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bobacupcake · 2 years

Note

Please help me. The Wizard Police are after me. I am a simple man, er wizard. I'm femme coded and delicious and thus break many wizard laws by existing. I have potions that have powers beyond your imagination. Your small small imagination. You should read and draw more so your brain will grow and you can understand my powers. This potion in my hand is purple and swirly. Its smells delicious, doesn't it? You want to drink it don't you? I know you do. Stop staring at my chest. My eyes are up here! *Points at the tip of my hat*. FOCUS! This potion is so important and you must STOP SNIFFING ME. Yes um drink the potion. Oh you don't want to? What if I put a silly straw in the bottle, will you drink it now? WHAT WAS THAT?? *Wizard Sirens in the distance* I have to go. You must hide me. What is your credit card number? Don't say the numbers out loud! You'll summon the interdimensional Identity theifs!!! Write it down! On my hand! Oh that tickles!! Stop it at once. Your hand writing is shit. Whatever youll have to just come with me. *covers you in the potion and you turn into a small creature*. Now I'm going to place you in this bag. Never mind why theres so much broken glass in there!! Stop eating it! Stop eating it! Stop it!! I hate you. *Shakes the bag really hard* stop enjoying this! *Sirens get closer* we have to go now!! *Does a little break dance and disappears into another plane* oh God we're 2d! Stop turning to the side and looking like a flat line! This isn't funny. Now, what is your mother's maiden name. What do you mean you don't have a mom. Everyone in the universe is assigned six mom's when they're created. What is a dad? A boy mom? I don't understand what you're saying. How are you able to make your teeth jiggle around like that? That is ungodly. Your teeth should be placed firmly in your gums! I don't care what Chinese deer can do. *coughs up blood in a gay sexy way* oh I forgot to mention I have tuberculosis. Yes it's serious. No Im not going to the doctor. We have to get out of this plane. Hmm I have one more spell I can cast that will allow one of us to get back into the 3d world. I will send you back and you must get help from my hot wizard girl husband. What do you mean wife? What is that? They're my girl husband! You don't say things that make sense. *Riffles through bag* I need to find My bang energy drink so I can power up before I do my teleportation beam. Why is the can empty. Why do you mean you drank it? Why would you drink someone else's energy drink! It gives me my wizard power! That's it, I've had enough. *pulls out revolver from the bag* this is goodbye to you. BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG good gracious they were blanks! I hate you I hate you I hate you!! *Throws you on the ground and you make a loud thud* why do you sound like you're full of milk? Webkinz cat? What does that mean? Who is rainbow dash and why was she in a jar? THEY DID WHAT TO HER? I can't do this anymore. *Loud bang* WIZARD POLICE PUT YOUR ARMS UP!!

NEVER! *Throws you at the police*

*I'm shot four thousand times by a thousand different wizard beams* I die instantly

#anonymous #HELLo? HELLO? HELLO ? HELLO??#potion of answers your question #THANK YOU??? ANON?

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bigsoftwolf · 26 days

Text

Minors DNI

No age in desc/pinned = blocked.

About me

Hey, I'm Elton but sir also works. Made this account for kink stuff and roleplay. I'm a 20 year old trans gay man and a dom/top. I've had top surgery and I'm on t. I'm also lowkey a furry lol, just the wolf boy vibes ig. I'd say I'm more soft than not but can be rough when I want to. I also write erotica so may post that or use asks as prompts.

Not gonna be super active all the time because I'm a full time student but please enjoy your stay.

Consent is a basic human right and this is all in good fun. If you're not comfy with kink you can be on your way.

Yes

- Sub/Dom

- CNC (to an extent, nothing too serious)

- Wolf/Bunny or Puppy dynamics

- Slave/Owning

- Breeding (sometimes)

- Monsterfuckers

- Knotting

- Cumflation (More just excessive cum)

- Big dick small hole (Love when a bunny says it's too big)

- Gender affirmation

- Anal/Butt plugs (big time, such a big kink i barely consider it one)

- Calling you my good boy <3

- Bondage

- feminization (but not in a detrans way)

- Bimboifaction/Dumbifaction

- Begging

- Orientation play (straight to gay)

- Cockwarming/Cocksleeve

- Free use

- Chastity/Cock cages

- Orgasm control

- Occasional somno

(Will probably add more later)

Hard No

- Scat

- Watersports

- Ageplay

- Incest

- Hard violence or gore

- Trans/homophobia

- Racism

- Race play

- Antisemitism

- Misgendering

- Detrans stuff

- Bestiality/Zoophilia

- Pedo shit

- DDLB/G

- ED or feedee feeder stuff

- Using the word "Rape" since it feels too non consensual.

If you decide to message me please start with an introduction, don't just start. Gotta make sure we're on the same page.

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mrs-monaghan · 1 year

Note

I just watch Bon Voyage 1. And it gave me clarity on something. Jikook started being sexually active around 2016. Or maybe even before that. Why would you give someone a footsie under the table if you’re not sexually active with each other?

Damn anon. You're just gonna bring this up, no heads up? Okay then.

How do I answer this without getting crucified for delving into their sex lives? 🤔

Whatever. I'm already cancelled.

Disclaimer: this is just what I deduced. Only Jikook know what really transpired.

So due to certain behaviour I am inclined to believe that yes, by 2016 they had gone all the way. Maybe late 2015 (thus my theory for why 8/11/15 is important) or early 2016. Because 2015 we have the 2 things that I linked above, then 2016 we have; like you just pointed out, the crotch footsie and also Osaka Vlive. Oh! And let's not forget Jimin eating a sausage, saying he's a big eater, laughing at reasons only known to him, while looking at the person who was behind the camera. Possibly the owner of the sausage Jimin likes to eat. Idk 🤷🏽‍♀️

2016 was full of sexual tension and innuendos and just... things. I think we can all safely agree by 2016 the going was going. 👉🏽👌🏽

That being said, I think before the going started going, other things were being done way before that. I don't need to clarify obvs. Kissing, heavy petting.... c'mon I'm already saying too much don’t make me say it. O__L. Okay, there i said it.

But the thing is, there are Jikookers who have this thing where they say Jimin waited till 2017 in Tokyo or some shit or they didn't do anything at all before they went all the way. Again, because Jimin was trying to be respectful. Or because being gay is illegal in SK. Or a bunch of other stuff that I'm honestly not sure why they would apply.

Jimin is absolutely the type to feel guilty if he thought he made JK do something he didn't want to do. That much i agree on. But, that would come after the fact. Alright? Teenage boys are the same everywhere. Everywhere. The wind blows in their face too hard they get hard at that age. And now you want me to put my faith in two horny teenage boys, living under the same roof and are attracted to eo??? Nah fam.

I'm not doing that. Regret usually comes later, after the deed has already been done 😂😂

And if the accident was too good it happens again and again and again until you start planning for it and looking forward to it. Maybe by saying you'll be staying late practising the new choreo at the studio? 😌 who knows?

Moving on, we know for sure they had already shagged in 2016 because that is when the push and pull started to happen. This is the example I like to give. When you sleep with your teacher, or with your boss. Right? (By teacher I mean college, please and thank you) Do you know what happens when you fuck your superior? A little respect kind of goes out the window. Suddenly you don't care if you're late for work. You decide not to do your homework just because. Your behaviour changes because you know you can get away with shit now.

And this is exactly what happened with Jikook. Jinmin were reacting to that show JK went on and Jimin was lamenting how JK doesn't listen to him. He complained during the live... and he complained on twitter

He complained some more

And complained again

He was a dog with a bone, couldn't stop complaining

And that wasn't the only time. Eat Jin. That one live where Jikook were misbehaving with those lollypops. Jimin again complains that JK has changed. He doesn't listen to him anymore.

He was smiling... but mans was finding JK's behaviour baffling. He couldn't understand why JK had changed.

Jimin, you let that boy wreck you, he has seen how you look like pliant and at his mercy, begging for the Jungkonda. You did this to yourself. Like a friend said to me, Jimin had made his bed, and he now needed to learn how to lay in it and be comfortable. You chose to give that boy the jibooty, he ain't listening to u 😂

(Sidebar: JK replied "I take it from you" given the topic at hand you can't blame my mind for where it went 😂😂😂😂)

Anyway, it's okay, they worked it out and are now living happily ever after. 😁😁💛💜

So yes anon. By 2016 Jikook were Jikooking. Hard. Pun intended 😏

Bonus.

JK had no emotions....In anything.... Hmm 🤔

Does that sound to anyone else like JK was hitting and quitting or is it just me? Just me? Okay, I'll show myself out. My apologies.

#ask shaz #bts ask #bts #jikook #jimin and jungkook #jimin #jungkook #park jimin #jeon jeongkook #kookmin #minkook #jikook analysis #jikook theory #jikook theories #jikook sexy times

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ohgaylor · 1 year

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Pt. 2 of That’s Gay Tay — a list of 🌈 lyrics Taylor has written (that are either queer-coded, implicit, or otherwise explicitly gay)

*disclaimer — this is a massively long post but that’s precisely the point. I hope you enjoy the richness of her music through this lens as much as I enjoyed compiling it. And be sure to click Keep Reading for the full, thorough, beautiful list. (ps. it may glitch and not show the full list, but it should end with Daylight) ☀️

Wonderland — “Too in love to think straight”

I Wish You Would — “We’re a crooked love in a straight line down”

Love Story (original) — “This love is different, but it's real”

Welcome To New York — “Kaleidoscope of loud heartbeats under coats”

Me! — “But one of these things is not like the others, like a rainbow with all of the colors."

The Very First Night — “We broke the status quo”

Better Off — “We don't have to do things their way”

Forever Winter — “It’s not just a phase I’m in”

invisible string — “Time, wondrous time gave me the blues and then purple-pink skies”

Welcome To New York — “And you can want who you want, boys and boys and girls and girls."

ME! — “And you're the kinda guy the ladies want (And there's a lotta cool chicks out there)”

long story short — “The knife cuts both ways”

Vigilante Shit — “I don’t dress for women, I don’t dress for men”

Out Of The Woods — “The rest of the world was black and white. But we were in screaming color”

illicit affairs — “You showed me colors you know I can’t see with anyone else... You taught me a secret language I can't speak with anyone else”

Daylight — “I once believed love would be black and white, but it's golden“

Crazier — “You showed me somethin' that I couldn't see, you opened my eyes, and you made me believe”

Question…? — “We had one thing goin' on I swear that it was somethin' cause I don't remember who I was before you painted all my nights a color I've searched for since”

State of Grace — “So you were never a saint, and I loved in shades of wrong. We learn to live with the pain, mosaic broken hearts. But this love is brave and wild”

A Place In This World — “Trying to see through the rain coming down even though I'm not the only one who feels the way I do”

Holy Ground — “Yeah, you skip the conversation when you already know”

cowboy like me — “Takes one to know one, you’re a cowboy like me”

So It Goes… — “'Cause, baby, I know what you know. We can feel it”

Message In A Bottle — “I know that you like me and it's kinda frightenin' standin' here waitin', waitin'”

Crazier — “I'd never gone with the wind, just let it flow, let it take me where it wants to go 'til you open the door, there's so much more I'd never seen it before. I was tryin' to fly but I couldn't find wings, but you came along and you changed everything”

Treacherous — “Forever going with the flow But you're friction”

the 1 — “We never painted by the numbers, baby, but we were making it count”

The Other Side of the Door — “All I need is on the other side of the door”

invisible string — “And it's cool, baby, with me”

Don’t Blame Me — “Something happened for the first time”

Holy Ground — “We had this big wide city all to ourselves. We blocked the noise with the sound of, "I need you" and for the first time, I had something to lose”

Cruel Summer — “And it's new, the shape of your body”

You’re On Your Own Kid — “I picked the petals, he loves me not. Something different bloomed”

Hits Different — “Movin' on was always easy for me to do. It hits different, it hits different 'cause it's you”

ivy — “I wish to know the fatal flaw that makes you long to be magnificently cursed”

Getaway Car — “I knew it from the first Old Fashioned, we were cursed”

ivy — “Tarnished but so grand”

Don’t Blame Me — “For you, I would cross the line”

Don’t Blame Me — “I would fall from grace just to touch your face”

Question…? — “Do you wish you could still touch her? … Did you realize, out of time, she was on your mind”

cardigan — “But I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss I knew you'd haunt all of my what-ifs”

Labyrinth — “I'll be gettin' over you my whole life”

Bigger Than The Whole Sky — “And I've got a lot to pine about. I've got a lot to live without”

ivy — “I just sit here and wait, grieving for the living”

the 1 — “It would've been fun If you would've been the one”

Hits Different — “And I felt you and I held you for a while”

‘tis the damn season — “And the road not taken looks real good now, and it always leads to you and my hometown“

Midnight Rain — “So I peered through a window, a deep portal, time travel, all the love we unravel”

The Great War — “I drew curtains closed, drank my poison all alone”

Death By A Thousand Cuts — “I look through the windows of this love, even though we boarded them up. Chandelier's still flickering here”

illicit affairs — “And you know damn well, for you, I would ruin myself a million little times”

dress — “Inescapable, I'm not even gonna try and if I get burned, at least we were electrified”

I Did Something Bad — “They say I did something bad. Then why's it feel so good?”

Treacherous — “This hope is treacherous, this daydream is dangerous”

gold rush — “I can't dare to dream about you anymore”

Mastermind — “Once upon a time, the planets and the fates and all the stars aligned. You and I ended up in the same room, at the same time”

King of My Heart — “And all at once, you are the one I have been waiting for”

The Archer — “Combat, I'm ready for combat. I say I don't want that, but what if I do?”

22 — “You look like bad news I gotta have you”

gold rush — “Walk past, quick brush I don't like slow motion, double vision in rose blush”

I Know Places — “It's a scene and we're out here in plain sight I can hear them whisper as we pass by... Something happens when everybody finds out. See the vultures circling, dark clouds”

Cornelia Street — “You hold my hand on the street”

All Of The Girls — “We’re sneakin’ out into town, holding hands, just killing time”

Wonderland — “Haven't you heard what becomes of curious minds?”

Sparks Fly — “And you stood there in front of me, just close enough to touch”

Enchanted — “The lingering question kept me up 2AM, who do you love?”

the 1 — “I persist and resist the temptation to ask you if one thing had been different, would everything be different today?”

Treacherous — “Put your lips close to mine, as long as they don’t touch... And I'll do anything you say if you say it with your hands”

Untouchable — “Untouchable like a distant diamond sky. I'm reaching out and I just can't tell you why I'm caught up in you”

Message In A Bottle — “I'm reachin' for you, terrified”

The Great War — “My hand was the one you reached for”

Delicate — “Sometimes, when I look into your eyes, I pretend you're mine all the damn time”

Gorgeous — “There's nothing I hate more than what I can't have”

You Belong With Me — “Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find that what you're looking for has been here the whole time”

Angelina — “He’s got everything you’d wanna be... Watch him run across to Angelina, But I won’t cause I have always been a bit reckless”

ivy — “My pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand, taking mine, but it's been promised to another”

august — “Your back beneath the sun, wishin' I could write my name on it”

Gorgeous — “You've ruined my life by not being mine”

willow — “Lost in your current like a priceless wine”

ivy — “Oh, I can't stop you putting roots in my dreamland. My house of stone, your ivy grows and now I'm covered”

You All Over Me — “I've still got you all over me”

Maroon — “And I wake with your memory over me”

Delicate — “Is it cool that I said all that? Is it too soon to do this yet? ‘cause I know that it's delicate”

Cruel Summer — “And I scream, ‘For whatever it's worth, I love you, ain't that the worst thing you ever heard?’”

Snow On The Beach — “You wanting me, tonight feels impossible”

The Other Side of the Door — “All I really want is you To stand outside my window throwin' pebbles, screamin', "I'm in love with you"

Glitch — “We were supposed to be just friends… I think there’s been a glitch”

Welcome Distraction — “I can’t win, so I give in. The more I fight, it just gets stronger. You’re an inconvenient kind of satisfaction, welcome distraction”

The Very First Night — “And so it was, we never saw it coming. Not trying to fall in love but we did like children running”

You Are In Love — “Pauses, then says ‘You’re my best friend’”

Paper Rings — “I hate accidents except when we went from friends to this”

Maroon — “Laughing with my feet in your lap Like you were my closest friend”

Dress — “Say my name and everything just stops. I don't want you like a best friend. Only bought this dress so you could take it off”

Dress — “All of this silence and patience, pining and anticipation. My hands are shaking from holding back from you.”

Don’t Blame Me — “Shaking, pacin', I just need you”

illicit affairs — “clandestine meetings and longing stares”

ivy — “How's one to know? I'd meet you where the spirit meets the bones In a faith-forgotten land”

Delicate — “Come here, you can meet me in the back”

willow — “Wait for the signal, and I'll meet you after dark”

Lavender Haze — “Meet me at midnight”

You Are In Love — “One look, dark room, meant just for you”

So It Goes… — “See you in the dark, all eyes on you, my magician”

We Were Happy — “No one could touch the way we laughed in the dark”

Gorgeous — “And you should think about the consequence of you touching my hand in a darkened room”

ivy — “Your touch brought forth an incandescent glow”

Mastermind — “And the touch of a hand lit the fuse”

It’s Nice To Have A Friend — “Something gave you the nerve to touch my hand”

Would’ve Could’ve Should’ve — “If you never touched me, I would've gone along with the righteous. if I never blushed, then they could've never whispered about this”

willow — “I'm begging for you to take my hand, wreck my plans”

Death By A Thousand Cuts — “Quiet my fears with the touch of your hand”

…Ready for It? — “In the middle of the night, in my dreams, I know I'm gonna be with you, so I take my time”

gold rush — “I don't like anticipatin' my face in a red flush”

Dress — “Our secret moments in a crowded room, they got no idea about me and you”

Dress — “Everyone thinks that they know us, but they know nothin'”

Hits Different — “I slur your name 'til someone puts me in a car”

Cruel Summer — “I'm drunk in the back of the car And I cried like a baby coming home from the bar. Said, "I'm fine, " but it wasn't true. I don’t wanna keep secrets just to keep you”

Invisible — “We could be a beautiful miracle, unbelievable, instead of just invisible”

Crazier — “Baby, you showed me what livin' is for, I don't wanna hide anymore”

King of My Heart — “Your love is a secret I’m hoping, dreaming, dying to keep”

Dear Reader — “Dear reader, the greatest of luxuries is your secrets”

All Of The Girls — “Secret jokes all alone”

Dancing With Our Hands Tied — “I, I loved you in secret, first sight, yeah, we love without reason”

…Ready For It — “Lights down low, no one has to know”

Wildest Dreams — “I said, ‘No one has to know what we do’”

I Can See You — “What would you do if they never found us out? What would you do if we never made a sound?”

The Very First Night — “No one knows about the words that we whisper, no one knows how much I miss you”

Last Kiss — “The words that you whispered for just us to know”

This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things — “I'm laughing with my lover, makin' forts under covers”

Paris — “Privacy sign on the door and on my page and on the whole world. Romance is not dead if you keep it just yours”

You Are In Love — “You can hear it in the silence, you can feel it on the way home.”

peace — “Give you the silence that only comes when two people understand each other”

Dear Reader — “I prefer hiding in plain sight”

Don’t Blame Me — “In the darkest little paradise”

happiness — “Showed you all of my hiding spots”

The Archer — “Who could ever leave me, darling? But who could stay?”

Cruel Summer — “And I snuck in through the garden gate, every night that summer just to seal my fate”

Love Story — “So I sneak out to the garden to see you. We keep quiet, 'cause we're dead if they knew, so close your eyes. Escape this town for a little while”

Question...? — “Did you lеave her house in the middle of the night?”

You’re On Your Own Kid — “I see the great escape, so long, Daisy May”

Our Song — “Sneakin' out late, tapping on your window”

willow — “Head on the pillow, I could feel you sneakin' in, as if you were a mythical thing”

Daylight — “Back and forth from New York (Sneaking in your bed)”

All Too Well — “And there we are again when nobody had to know… you kept me like a secret, but I kept you like an oath”

Cornelia Street — “Sacred new beginnings that became my religion”

False God — “The altar is my hips, even if it's a false god, we'd still worship this love”

So It Goes… — “And wear you like a necklace”

I Know Places — “I know places we won't be found, and they'll be chasing their tails trying to track us down, I know places we can hide”

cardigan — “But I knew you, playing hide-and-seek and giving me your weekends”

‘tis the damn season — “You could call me "babe" for the weekend“

King Of My Heart — “You try on callin' me "baby" like tryin' on clothes”

peace — “All these people think love’s for show but I would die for you in secret”

hoax — “Your faithless love's the only hoax I believe in”

ivy — “I'd live and die for moments that we stole on begged and borrowed time”

Wildest Dreams — “Let's get out of this town, drive out of the city, away from the crowds”

gold rush — “And the coastal town we wandered 'round had nеver seen a love as pure as it”

Hits Different — “Freedom felt like summеr then on the coast”

Getaway Car — “It was the great escape, the prison break, the light of freedom on my face”

Run — “Darling, let's run, run from it all. we can go where our eyes can take us, go where no one else is”

Love Story — “Take me somewhere we can be alone. I'll be waiting, all there's left to do is run”

Just South Of Knowing Why — “She looked at her keys and found a reason to run”

Call It What You Want — “You don't need to save me, but would you run away with me?"

Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince — “Voted most likely to run away with you”

Better Man — “I know the bravest thing I ever did was run”

Blank Space — “Love’s a game, wanna play?”

…Ready For It — “Baby, let the games begin”

This Is Why We Cant Have Nice Things — “I want to wear his initial on a chain 'round my neck, because he owns me, but 'cause he really knows me, which is more than they can say”

King of My Heart — “'Cause all the boys and their expensive cars, with their Range Rovers and their Jaguars, never took me quite where you do”

The Lucky One — “And your lover in the foyer doesn't even know you”

Cruel Summer — “Bad, bad boy, Shiny toy with a price. You know that I bought it”

exile — “I can see you starin', honey, like he's just your understudy, like you'd get your knuckles bloody for me”

right where you left me — “Wages earned and lessons learned”

All Of The Girls — “Fake love out on the town”

You’re On Your Own Kid — “The jokes weren’t funny, I took the money, my friends from home don’t know what to say”

Midnight Rain — “He wanted it comfortable, I wanted that pain. He wanted a bride, I was making my own name, chasing that fame”

Hits Different — “I used to switch out these Kens, I'd just ghost”

Better Than Revenge — “Soon she's gonna find stealing other people's toys on the playground won't make you many friends”

Blank Space — “Got a long list of ex-lovers, they'll tell you I'm insane. But I've got a blank space, baby and I'll write your name”

Getaway Car — “I wanted to leave him, I needed a reason”

Don’t Blame Me — “Toyin' with them older guys, just playthings for me to use.”

Bejeweled — “And when I meet the band, they ask, ‘Do you have a man?’ I could still say, ‘I don’t remember’”

All Of The Girls — “Cryin’ in the bathroom for some dude whose name I cannot remember now”

Gorgeous — “And I got a boyfriend, he's older than us. He's in the club doin' I don't know what”

cowboy like me — “Now you hang from my lips like the Gardens of Babylon. With your boots beneath my bed, forever is the sweetest con”

cowboy like me — “I've got some tricks up my sleeve”

Dear Reader — “Dear reader, if it feels like a trap, you're already in one”

long story short — “Now I'm all about you I'm all about you”

I Did Something Bad — “I never trust a playboy, but they love me. So I fly 'em all around the world and I let them think they saved me”

I Think He Knows — “I am an architect, I'm drawing up the plans”

Mastermind — “What if I told you I'm a mastermind? And now you're mine. It was all by dеsign”

willow — “Every bait-and-switch was a work of art”

long story short — “And he’s passing by, rare as the glimmer of a comet in the sky”

Snow On The Beach — “I saw flecks of what could've been lights, but it might just have been you”

cowboy like me — “And the ladies lunching have their stories about when you passed through town”

False God — “We might just get away with it”

cowboy like me — “Perched in the dark tellin’ all the rich folks anything they wanna hear like it could be love, I could be the way forward, only if they pay for it.”

Glitch — “I'd go back to wanting dudes who give nothing”

Lavender Haze — “No deal The 1950s shit they want from me I just wanna stay in that lavender haze”

Blank Space — “New money, suit and tie. I can read you like a magazine”

cowboy like me — “Never wanted love, just a fancy car”

Midnight Rain — “I guess sometimes we all get just what we wanted”

cardigan — “Chasin' shadows in the grocery line I knew you'd miss me once the thrill expired”

Lavender Haze — “Talk your talk and go viral I just need this love spiral. Get it off your chest, get it off my desk”

This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things — “And here’s to my baby. He ain’t reading what they call me lately”

Blank Space — “You can tell me when it's over, mmm. If the high was worth the pain”

… Ready For It? — “I see nothing better, I keep him forever like a vendetta-ta”

long story short — “If the shoe fits walk in it ‘til your high heals break”

cowboy like me — “ And the old men that I've swindled really did believe I was the one”

Hits Different — “Rip the band-aid off and skip town likе an asshole outlaw”

Lavender Haze — “All they keep asking me iIs if I'm gonna be your bride. The only kinda girl they see is a one-night or a wife”

Dear Reader — “To a house, not a home, all alone 'cause nobody's there”

High Infidelity — “Storm coming, good husband, bad omen. Dragged my feet right down the aisle. At the house lonely, good money. I'd pay if you'd just know me. Seemed like the right thing at the time.”

Sweet Nothing — “All that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothin'”

Out Of The Woods — “Are we out of the woods? Are we in the clear yet?”

You Are In Love — “You two are dancing in a snow globe, 'round and 'round”

I Know Places — “'Cause they got the cages, they got the boxes and guns They are the hunters, we are the foxes and we run”

So It Goes… — “Gold cage, hostage to my feelings”

Dancing With Our Hands Tied — “Picture of your face in an invisible locket”

Run — “And the note from the locket, you keep it in your pocket since I gave it to you”

cowboy like me — “And the skeletons in both our closets plotted hard to fuck this up”

seven — “And I think you should come live with me and we can be pirates. Then you won't have to cry or hide in the closet”

this is me trying — “They told me all of my cages were mental, so I got wasted like all my potential”

champagne problems — “Your hometown skeptics called it champagne problems”

Midnight Rain — “My town was a wasteland, full of cages, full of fences, pageant queens and big pretenders but for some, it was paradise”

dorothea — “skippin' the prom Just to piss off your mom and her pageant schemes”

New Romantics — “The rumors are terrible and cruel, But, honey, most of them are true."

End Game — “Reputation precedes me, in rumors, I'm knee-deep”

End Game — “Big reputation, big reputation. Ooh, you and me would be a big conversation”

Dancing With Our Hands Tied — “People started talking, putting us through our paces. I knew there was no one in the world who could take it”

Paris — “I want to transport you to somewhere the culture’s clever, confess my truth in swooping, sloping, cursive letters”

Run — “We shouldn't be in this town”

You’re On Your Own Kid — “I didn't choose this town, I dream of getting out”

the lakes — “I don’t belong and my beloved, neither do you”

the 1 — “You know the greatest films of all time were never made”

The Archer — “'Cause cruelty wins in the movies”

exile — “I think I’ve seen this film before, and I didn’t like the ending”

The Archer — “And all of my heroes die all alone. Help me hold on to you”

Message In A Bottle — “'Cause you could be the one that I love, I could be the one that you dream of”

Dancing With Our Hands Tied — “I loved you in spite of deep fears that the world would divide us”

Better Off — “Somehow it feels like we're flying, don't want to come down. But they make it so tough cause everyone we know is trying to push us apart hide it down in our hearts”

Question...? — “Did you ever have someone kiss you in a crowded room and every single one of your friends was makin' fun of you? But fifteen seconds later, thеy were clappin' too?”

the lakes — “I'm not cut out for all these cynical clones these hunters with cell phones”

Run — “This thing was a shot in the dark. Say you'll never let 'em tear us apart”

tolerate it — “I know my love should be celebrated but you tolerate it”

ivy — “What would he do if he found us out?”

Ours — “Seems like there’s always someone who disapproves, they’ll judge it like they know about me and you”

New Romantics — “'Cause baby, I could build a castle out of all the bricks they threw at me”

ivy — “So yeah, it's a war. It's the goddamn fight of my life, and you started it.”

You Are In Love — “And you understand now why they lost their minds and fought the wars, and why I've spent my whole life tryin' to put it into words”

Change — “Can you feel it now? These walls that they put up to hold us back will fall down. This revolution, the time will come for us to finally win.”

Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince — “And I'll never let you (go) 'cause I know this is a (fight) that someday we're gonna (win)”

Afterglow — “This ultraviolet morning light below tells me this love is worth the fight”

long story short — “When I dropped my sword I threw it in the bushes and knocked on your door. And we live in peace but if someone comes at us, this time, I'm ready”

dorothea — “Are you still the same soul I met under the bleachers?”

betty — “If I showed up at your party, would you have me, would you want me?”

Maroon — “The lips I used to call home, so scarlet, it was maroon”

So It Goes… — “Lipstick on your face”

Dancing With Our Hands Tied — “Could've spent forever with your hands in my pockets”

You All Over Me — “With your hands in your pockets and your "Don't you wish you had me?" grin. Well I did, so I smiled and I melted like a child”

champagne problems — “November flush and your flannel cure”

gold rush — “What must it be like to grow up that beautiful? With your hair falling into place like dominoes”

Style — “You got that long hair, slicked back, white t-shirt”

Gorgeous — “You’re so gorgeous, can’t say anything to your face, ‘cause look at your face”

Paris — “I'm so in love that I might stop breathing”

I’d Lie — “I'm holding every breath for you”

Crazier — “Feels like I'm fallin' and I am lost in your eyes”

gold rush — “Gleaming, twinkling, eyes like sinking ships on waters, so inviting, I almost jump in

Delicate — “Do the girls back home touch you like I do?”

Tear Drops on My Guitar — “I'll bet she's beautiful, that girl he talks about”

I’d Lie — “His sister's beautiful”

Me And Britney — “Me and Britney used to sit on the front porch drinking lemonade, talking 'bout things no one else was ever supposed to hear in the summer shade”

seven — “Cross your heart, won't tell no other, and though I can’t recall your face I still got love for you. Your braids like a pattern. Love you to the Moon and to Saturn”

Cross My Heart — “So I cross my heart and hope for you, knock on wood and rope the moon”

This Is What You Came For — “Lightning strikes every time she moves and everybody’s watching her but she’s looking at you”

Hits Different — “Dreams of your hair and your stare and sense of belief in the good in the world”

Angelina — “Angelina’s got a pretty face And really long brown hair”

dorothea — “It's never too late to come back to my side, the stars in your eyes shined brighter in Tupelo. And if you're ever tired of bеin' known for who you know, you know that you'll always know me”

I Know Places — “And you know for me, it's always you”

Hits Different — “You were the one that I loved”

ivy — “He wants what’s only yours”

Me and Britney — “That boy she ran off with, well, I thought he was crazy. Maybe I was just jealous that he'd come between me and Britney”

Vigilante Shit — “Now she gets the house, gets the kids, gets the pride Picture me thick as thieves with your ex-wife”

betty — “Slept next to her, but I dreamt of you all summer long”

Haunted — “And he just might make me smile but the whole time, I'm wishing he was you instead”

Just South of Knowing Why — “I could tell that her smile was only something to hide behind, she felt so out of touch, because she just felt too much”

‘tis the damn season — “And wonder about the only soul who can tell which smiles I'm fakin'“

The Way I Loved You — “He can't see the smile I'm faking and my heart's not breaking, ‘cause I'm not feeling anything at all”

Teardrops on My Guitar — “fake a smile so he won’t see”

Nothing New — “And my cheeks are growing tired from turning red and faking smiles”

exile — “I can see you standing, honey with his arms around your body, laughin', but the joke's not funny at all”

Mine — “I fell in love with a careless man's careful daughter. She is the best thing that's ever been mine”

King of My Heart — “Up on the roof with a school girl crush”

Karma — “Sweet like justice, karma is a queen”

How You Get The Girl — “And you were too afraid to tell her what you want... I would wait forever and ever And that's how it works. That's how you get the girl”

cardigan — “Chase two girls, lose the one”

Hits Different — “Bet I could still melt your world argumentative, antithetical dream girl”

The Man — “What's it like to brag about raking in dollars, and getting bitches and models?”

The Great War — “And maybe it was egos swinging, maybe it was her”

The Other Side of the Door — “With your face and the beautiful eyes, and the conversation with the little white lies, and the faded picture of a beautiful night. You carried me from your car up the stairs. And I broke down crying, was she worth this mess? After everything and that little black dress, after everything I must confess, I need you”

Our Song — “Man, I didn't kiss her, and I should have”

Tim McGraw — “I hope you think that little black dress, think of my head on your chest, and my old faded blue jeans”

evermore — “sending signals to be double-crossed”

Anti-Hero — “I should not be left to my own devices They come with prices and vices I end up in crisis”

exile — “I gave so many signs”

The Archer — “And I cut off my nose just to spite my face, then I hate my reflection for years and years”

Anti-Hero — “I'll stare directly at the sun, but never in the mirror. It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero”

Dear Reader — “Never take advice from someone who's falling apart”

coney island — “And do you miss the rogue Who coaxed you into paradise and left you there?“

mirrorball — “I'll show you every version of yourself tonight”

The Archer — “I’ve got a hundred thrown out speeches I almost said to you”

evermore — “I replay my footsteps on each stepping stone, trying to find the one where I went wrong. Writing letters addressed to the fire.”

The Archer — “The room is on fire, invisible smoke”

Clean — “I screamed so loud but no one heard a thing”

The Great War — “Sucker punching walls, cursed you as I sleep-talked, spineless in my tomb of silence”

long story short — “Misery Like the war of words I shouted in my sleep”

peace — “I never had the courage of my convictions, as long as danger is near”

Sweet Nothing — “And the voices that implore, "You should be doing more" to you, I can admit that I’m just too soft for all of it”

Dear Reader — “Dear reader, you don't have to answer just 'cause they asked you”

this is me trying — “And maybe I don't quite know what to say, but I'm here in your doorway”

Anti-Hero — “One day I'll watch as you're leaving ‘cause you got tired of my scheming, for the last time”

long story short — “I tried to pick my battles 'til the battle picked me”

coney island — “Sorry for not making you my centerfold”

High Infidelity — “You know there's many different ways that you can kill the one you love. The slowest way is never loving them enough”

coney island — “But when I walked up to the podium, I think that I forgot to say your name”

Dear Reader — “These desperate prayers of a cursed man spilling out to you for free, but darling, darling, please, you wouldn't take my word for it if you knew who was talking if you knew where I was walking”

Daylight — “There are so many lines that I've crossed unforgiven“

High Infidelity — “You said I was freeloading … I bent the truth too far tonight, I was dancing around, dancing around it”

coney island — “Will you forgive my soul when you're too wise to trust me and too old to care?”

this is me trying —“Pouring out my heart to a stranger, but I didn't pour the whiskey”

Picture To Burn — “So go and tell your friends that I'm obsessive and crazy. That's fine, I'll tell mine you're gay.”

High Infidelity — “Lock broken, slur spoken”

You Need To Calm Down — “Can you just not step on our gowns?”

You Need To Calm Down — “Why are you mad when you could be GLAAD?”

You Need To Calm Down — “Cause shade never made anybody less gay”

the 1 — “Rosé flowing with your chosen family”

Maroon — “And I chose you The one I was dancing with In New York”

peace — “Family that I chose, now that I see your brother as my brother”

right where you left me — “I swear you could hear a hair pin drop”

The Great War — “Your finger on my hairpin triggers”

willow — “They count me out time and time again”

Hey Stephen — “I'm waiting alone now, so come on and come out. And pull me near and shine, shine, shine”

Dear Reader — “You should find another guiding light, guiding light But I shine so bright”

Daylight — “I've been sleeping so long in a 20-year dark night. And now I see daylight"

Daylight — “You gotta step into the daylight and let it go”

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