#You think Sirius is being a bad influence but actually he's allowing Remus to have fun!! can you blame Remus for immediately asking him out

[vaindumbass]

((written for @silversickles minifest! Day two: detention))

There was a desk in the room used for detention that belonged to Sirius. It was in one of the middle rows, because only suck-ups sit in the front and teachers always look in the back, and it was next to the window, so that he could look out over the grounds.

The desk was made from the same old wood as the other ones, and it was just as battered and ugly as the rest of them. The only difference was that this one was filled with scribbles by Sirius’ hand, and a few were courtesy of James, who always sat at the desk next to him.

They both claimed to have drawn the beautiful phoenix in the middle of the desk, but everyone knew it was actually Peter. Slughorn, who ‘supervised’ the detentions most of the time (he always fell asleep at his desk), never noticed.

Everyone knew it was Sirius’ desk, because he’d make it clear every time he had detention (and that was very, very often), and no one would sit there. Except this time, it seems.

Sirius is therefore absolutely stunned for two reasons when he walks into the classroom, 1) because someone is sitting in his seat, and 2) because the boy sitting there is absolutely gorgeous. Sirius doesn’t know him, only knows that he’s a recent transfer student, and the only reason he vaguely remembers that is because of the aforementioned gorgeousness.

The boy’s crooked nose almost touches the paper when he writes, and his lovely honey brown eyes are focused on the ink flowing out of his quill. There’s even a bit of ink in his (soft-looking) curls, which Sirius, unfortunately, thinks is endearing.

It’s truly a shame that he’s in Sirius’ chair.

“You’re in my seat.” Sirius says.

In one slow, smooth motion, the boy looks up from where he’s working, and looks Sirius up and down. Sirius resists both the urge to smile flirtatiously at him, and the one to physically pull him out of the chair. “Who are you?”

“Sirius Black.” He smiles at him. “I’d be more pleased to meet you if you weren’t sitting in my chair.” 

The boy huffs incredulously, as if he can’t believe Sirius is making such a big deal out of this, as if he thinks Sirius is being petty. (He has a nice smile.) “Remus Lupin. Also, I don’t believe your name is on it?” 

Sirius’ smile widens. “Maybe you should look a little better. If you would just get up...” The boy narrows his eyes at him suspiciously, but he stands up. Still grinning, Sirius takes the chair, and points to the place where it says: Sirius Black.

Remus shakes his head, but the corners of his mouth are curled up so Sirius takes it as a win. “That’s just ridicul--” 

Sirius cuts Remus off the moment he takes the now-free chair and turns it around as fast as he can, and then he sits in it, demonstratively. Remus laughs and pushes him to the side, and Sirius ignores the way he’s almost falling off the chair in favour of memorizing the sound.

Of course, this is the moment Slughorn, who had been sleeping peacefully, chooses to wake up. “Black, Lupin, back to your seats, please.” He winks exaggeratedly at Sirius. “Even your famous family can’t help you here.” 

Sirius begrudgingly accepts and goes to sit in a different desk, muttering about how he doesnt want his families help. Remus has the nerve to shoot him a triumphant grin, and then he looks shocked that he was in a fight over a chair of all things, and Sirius thinks he’s in love.

He’s sure of that the next time he has detention and sees a phone number crawled under his name, and the words: I hope you won’t make such a fuss about chairs at our date.

((edit: now with a part two!))

#if you think Remus is taking a big risk no he isnt <3 #either he has a hot date #embarrassed himself a /little/ bit in front of someone who isnt interested in him #or pissed of a homophobe!! #and he can always pretend it wasnt him akshasf #I bet he did that for a few seconds to tease Sirius #wolfstar #Sirius Black #remus lupin #remus x sirius #Sirius didnt even mind he was just happy he wasnt /actually/ texting an old grandma named Bertha #silversicklesminifest #You think Sirius is being a bad influence but actually he's allowing Remus to have fun!! can you blame Remus for immediately asking him out #Remus is there bc he corrected the teacher on mermaid's rights! hell fight for anyone's rights except for his own kafjh #marauders era #ficlet #my writing #wolfstar fluff #anyway at the date they share a loveseat!! no one has to worry #mywriting

[engie-ivy]

“What are you saying, Remus?”

Remus doesn’t spare him. “You won’t get custody over Harry as long as I’m around.”

Sirius closes his eyes. “It doesn’t stop, does it?”

It was supposed to be better after the war...

Already Decided

“I’m surprised you found me,” Remus says, folding his arms over his chest.

Dumbledore looks up from the cup of tea he’s holding. “I wasn’t aware you were trying to hide.”

Remus shrugs. “I wasn’t. Not per se. It’s just been so long. I figured I’d be hard to track.”

Dumbledore takes in Remus’ worn robes, greying hair and the dark circles under his eyes. “You look bad.”

“Why, thank you,” Remus says with a wry laugh. “That’s what years of living with my condition tends to do.”

“I would’ve thought the new Wolfsbane Potion made things easier for you.”

Now Remus laughs out loud. “Yes, because of course an expensive potion targeted to a population for whom it’s practically impossible to get a decent job is going to solve it all.”

“I actually got a job offer for you,” Dumbledore responds. “I’m in need of a new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher.”

This makes Remus laugh again. “Well, that doesn’t surprise me.”

Dumbledore puts down his tea. “I assume you’ve heard about Pettigrew’s escape?”

Remus’ face darkens. “Yes. I assume you know about...?”

“His Animagus form?” Dumbledore finishes. “I’ve been informed. I must say, Lupin, I’m disappointed in you. When I gave you the opportunity to attend Hogwarts, I had expected you to adhere to the rules set for the other students’ safety.”

There was a time in which Dumbledore’s disappointment would’ve gutted Remus. Hearing the words now, however, he can’t bring himself to care. It’s been a long time since he cared. “So, do you expect that Pettigrew will be targeting Harry Potter?”

“It’s possible,” Dumbledore replies calmly. “Harry Potter’s godfather is concerned, to say the least. It’ll help if I hire a trustworthy Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher to keep an eye out. He wasn’t well pleased with me when the last one I hired tried to Obliviate Harry, and the one before that tried to kill him.”

“I reckon he wasn’t,” Remus replies.

“If you were willing to fill the position, you could be provided with a vast supply of Wolfsbane,” Dumbledore says casually.

“While if I refuse your bribe, you’ll leave me to my fate?”

Dumbledore doesn’t even bother to reply.

Remus sighs. “I used to admire you, you know.” He shakes his head. Anyways, if you want to appease Harry Potter’s godfather, you shouldn’t be asking me. I’d assume he hates me.”

“I thought Harry Potter’s godfather was your friend?” Dumbledore asks innocently.

Remus clenches his jaw. “You know very well what he was to me.”

12 years earlier

Remus lowers the letter he’d been reading when he hears the front door open. He still feels the urge to jump to his feet and grab his wand, but the war is over and a door opening doesn’t mean an attack might be coming anymore.

“So, Dumbledore tells me they’re going to give Malfoy the benefit of the doubt,” Sirius immediately goes off as he enters the kitchen. “Can you believe it? I’ll kiss Kreacher before I believe he acted under the influence of the Imperius Curse!” He shrugs off his leather jacket and hangs it over a chair. “But Dumbledore says we have to believe it as long as we don’t have strong evidence that proofs the contrary.” He rolls his eyes. “Yet they sent Pettigrew to Azkaban without so much as a trial.”

Remus arches an eyebrow. “Surely you don’t mind that?”

“Of course not!” Sirius’ face darkens as he remembers the mass murder, but even worse, the betrayal that signed their best friends’ death sentences. “But if they’re going to send people to prison without a trial, I wish they’d do it with the rich ones as well. No double standards, y’know?”

His eyes fall in the letter Remus had been reading. “What’s that?”

Remus hands it to him wordlessly. No use postponing it.

Eviction Notice

To: R. J. Lupin

According to our information, you, as a registrant of the Lycanthrope Database, are currently the inhabitant of this premise.

Regretfully, we must inform you that under the recently passed Anti-Werewolf Legislation Act of 1981, it is stated that ‘no one affected with the Lycanthropy affliction is allowed to live within a 10-kilometre radius from an urban area, where the creature can pose a danger to others’.

In accordance with this law, we urge you to vacate this premise as soon as possible, as otherwise legal action shall be undertaken.

Was signed,

The Ministry of Magic

Remus studies Sirius’ face closely while he’s reading, and he sees it: Sirius is worried and tired. So very tired. Only for a split second, then Sirius plasters that unaffected smile on his face as he throws the letter back on the table. “Well, that was to be expected any time now. We’ll find a way to deal with that later.”

He’s pretending for my sake, Remus thinks. Acting like he’s not concerned, so I won’t feel guilty.

“I should leave,” Remus says.

“We probably should,” Sirius sighs. “I don’t really see another outcome. I’m sure we’ll be able to find a new place we can live. I’ll start asking around.”

“And then what?” Remus asks. “A week, maybe two, until another letter comes?”

“What would you suggest, then?”

“I already suggested it,” Remus says. “I should leave.”

“No.”

“Padfoot...”

“No! For Godric’s sake, Moony! We fought a war together! We risked our lives for each other! We faced death side by side! We managed to withstand suspicion and false accusations! And now you want to give up because of a dumb letter?”

“It’s not just the letter,” Remus says. “You know it’s not! The attitude towards werewolves in England has always been bad, but now so many werewolves have fought on You Know Who’s side during the war and the tales of Greyback’s cruelties are rapidly spreading through the wizarding community, it has gotten so much worse. It won’t stop here.”

“Then we’ll spread the tale of the brave werewolf in the Order of the Phoenix who risked his life fighting for what's right!” Sirius exclaims.

Remus shakes his head. “They won’t listen. You know what people are like. They only listen to stories that fit within their pre-existing worldview. Fear will lead to hatred, and it’s only a matter of time before hatred leads to violence. It’s not safe for me to remain in England.”

“We’ll move to some cottage in the countryside,” Sirius pleads. “Far away from any ‘urban area’, where no one will bother us! Or we’ll cross the English Channel into France! I speak French!”

Remus gives him a small, sad smile. “You’re trying to get custody over Harry. The Ministry won’t grant you custody if you live in some abandoned cottage, far away from any facilities, schools, and other children to play with, much less if you go abroad without a job, or even a place to live.”

“The hearing for Harry’s custody is next week,” Sirius replies stubbornly. “Once we have it, we can do whatever we want!”

It’s tempting. Merlin, it’s tempting. Remus wants nothing more than to be persuaded by Sirius’ arguments, to believe it really is possible, that Harry, Sirius and he can live happily ever after in some cottage in the countryside, together. But Remus has to be sensible.

“Harry is their national treasure,” he says. “The famous Boy Who Lived. Lily and James made their wishes evidently clear, but still many people from the Ministry don’t want to see him raised by a Black. They’ll latch on to every little thing they can to deny you custody. And being associated with a werewolf is no little thing.”

Sirius looks at him, fear visible in his eyes. “What are you saying, Remus?”

Remus doesn’t spare him. “You won’t get custody over Harry as long as I’m around.”

Sirius closes his eyes. “It doesn’t stop, does it?”

“Sirius...”

“Fabian, Gideon, Marlene, Dorcas, Regulus, Lily, James... Hasn’t it been enough?”

Remus gets up from his chair and sits down on his knees in front of Sirius, taking his hands in his own. “Look at me, Sirius. Please look at me.”

Sirius opens his eyes, silent tears streaming down his face. “Don’t,” he whispers. “Don’t make me choose. You’re all I have left. You and Harry... You’re all I have left. Please, don’t make me choose.”

Remus gathers the trembling man in front of him in his arms and rubs soothing circles on his back. “I won’t,” he says. “I promise I won’t make you choose.”

Sirius pulls away slightly to cup Remus’ face in his hands and searches his eyes, looking for the lie. Remus encircles his wrists with his hands and looks back with a steady gaze.

“I love you, Remus Lupin,” Sirius says earnestly, almost like a challenge.

“I love you too, Sirius,” Remus replies without hesitation.

Sirius kisses him fiercely, desperately. Remus allows himself to get caught up in it, allows himself to forget. Forget about the prejudice, the legislation, the letter, the hearing. Forget about everything, just for the moment. Everything but the feel of Sirius’ lips on his skin and Sirius’ hands on his body.

Afterwards, Remus is lying on his back in their bed, staring up at the ceiling. Sirius is fast asleep, tucked against his side, an arm splayed across his chest and his head resting in the crook of his neck.

Moonlight drifts through the curtains. Moonlight. Moonlight that has already taken so much from him. This will be the last. After this, there’s nothing left.

He carefully detangles himself from Sirius and silently puts his clothes back on. As he looks down on Sirius’ sleeping form, he can’t help but reach out and carefully brush a strand of hair from his face. “I won’t make you choose,” he whispers. “I’ve already chosen for you.”

Sirius takes a few sips from the water placed in front of him, while the wizard at the other side of the table, a middle-aged man in sharp, dark blue wizarding robes, rummaged through his papers.

“Well, Mr Black,” he says, as Sirius places his glass back down. “The documents seem to be in order. Mr and Mrs Potter were very thorough in their paperwork. They have fully filled in each form, dated and signed by both of them. I must say, their wishes are evidently clear.”

The witch sitting next to the man, a short woman with a broad face, wide mouth and bulging eyes, somehow reminding Sirius of a toad, wearing pink, frilly robes, lets out a small cough.

The wizard, however, ignores her. “I assume you’ve been thinking about practical matters, such as education and healthcare?”

The witch makes another coughing noise.

The wizard pointedly keeps ignoring her. “I must tell you, even if you’re given custody, the Ministry is planning on monitoring the child closely. With everything he’s been through and the publicity around him, it’s a precarious situation. If we find that you cannot offer the boy a stable home environment...”

The toad-like witch lets out another small cough. The wizard grits his teeth, but Sirius is barely aware of it. He finally feels an emotion burning through the numbness, something fierce. “I will provide him with a home.”

“Don’t get me wrong, Mr Black,” the wizard says. “I’m not trying to aggravate you. It’s for your own sake, as well as the boy’s. Mr Black, you’re only twenty-two years old, you’ve been through some very traumatic events, and you’re offering to take care of an infant child as a single parent. It’s not unreasonable to fear you may get overwhelmed-”

Another one of those small coughs, and the wizard jerks his head around. “Dolores, is there anything you’d like to add, or can I perhaps get you something for your throat?”

The toad-like witch doesn’t hesitate to take over the conversation, her iron-grey eyes boring into Sirius’ empty grey ones.

“You’re known to have close associations with a Lycanthrope.” She speaks in a high-pitched voice that makes an oddly terrifying contrast with the cruelty in her eyes.

“I used to have,” Sirius replies.

She raises her eyebrows. “Not anymore?”

“Not anymore.”

“So there won’t be a dangerous dark creature hovering around the small child?”

“There won’t.”

“And where is the werewolf now, then?”

“I don’t know.”

“How do you not-”

“Mr Black,” the wizard interrupts the toad-like witch. “Perhaps you can save us time by just telling Ms Umbridge what your current relationship to R.J. Lupin is?”

Sirius drinks the rest of his water, which he knows to be heavily spiked with Veritaserum, before answering. “There is none. He left, and I don’t think I’ll ever see him again.”

#my tumblr writing #wolfstar angst #sad wolfstar #wolfstar #wolfstar fanfiction #wolfstar fic #marauders #marauders fanfiction #marauders fic #sirius black #remus lupin #remus x sirius #first wizarding war #hurt sirius black #sirius black does not go to azkaban #hurt remus lupin

[5thmarauderwrites]

Apps, Texts & Wizardry — The Marauders x Reader | Request.

Requests are: OPEN.

Requested by Anonymous: “Helooo💛 could you write a modern au where the reader is teaching the marauders how to use tech? Have a nice day :)“.

Pairing: The Marauders x Fem!Reader [platonic].

Word Count: 2,4K

Warnings: None, it’s basically all fun and teasing and friends being friends.

A/N: Hope you like this! I had to refrain myself from the dialogues a bit because i had lots of fun remarks and teasing moments in my head as i imagined how the teaching process would be, so it would end up being very, very long if i hand’t stopped myself. Also the title SUCKS because i literally couldn’t think about anything good.

“L/N!” James yelled your last name in the middle of the library, shaking a brand new smartphone clutched in his hand; Sirius and Peter on his trail. Remus walked a little further, an apologetic frown on his features as he looked at you.

“Potter!” Madam Pince shrieked. “Out! Now!”

“But I’ve just got here!” The boy with unruly black hair protested.

“I do not care! Screams and loud tones of voice are strictly forbidden in my library! Go on – out! Out before I hex you!” The witch brandished her feather duster at the boy as she gesticulated for him to leave.

James grimaced, pushing his glasses higher up on the bridge of his nose, “I just need to talk to my friend, please! She’s right there!” He pointed to you, who watched the unfolding scene with a look of pure terror, in fear that Madam Pince would banish you from the library for good after James’ antics.

Madame Pince sent you a death glare before turning back to the Marauders with a fulminant look on her face, “out, all of you! NOW!”

“We haven’t even done anything!” Sirius shrugged with a frown, trying to defend himself.

The older witch gave them a last warning glare and, getting the message; Remus mumbled an apology and dragged the other three boys out of the room. Madam Pince waited until they were completely off the library’s limits to walk angrily to the table you were sharing with Lily, Marlene and Alice in the quieter corner of the study room.

“L/N!” She spat as she approached your table. “You know you’re one of the few students that I actually tolerate in this school, but this better not happen again because next time you’ll be kicked out with them!”

You widened your eyes in horror and nodded vigorously, afraid to make any noise and irritate the librarian even more. Madam Pince huffed satisfied at your acknowledgement of her threat before turning on her heels and leaving you with a dumbfounded look on your face.

“I don’t know how you and Remus can be friends with those twats,” Lily said in a belittled tone of voice whilst rolling her eyes.

“They’re not that bad once-“ you started to defend the Marauders but trailed off as you looked in the direction of the closed window by the side of the door and saw James and Sirius with their faces glued to the glass, waving for you to come to them.

“You were saying?” Marlene frowned disgustedly at their behaviour.

“Come on, they’re nice people, girls!” Alice chuckled, defending the boys as the sweet and kind person she was.

“They are! Thank you, Ali!” You wrapped your arm around the girl’s shoulders in a gesture of appreciation.

“Sure,” Lily teased with a frown as she studied the boys, whom were now making silly faces at your group from behind the glass window. “I’m sure if you google stupid twats their names won’t come up as soon as you hit the search button.”

Marlene high-fived Lily at her remark and you couldn’t help but smile, even though you rolled your eyes at your redhead friend, “you know you and James have a lot in common, don’t you?” You teased, getting up and grabbing your phone and laptop.

“Where are you going?” She asked amidst a blush, purposely ignoring what you had just said.

“To see what they bloody want before Madam Pince spots them and forbids me to step a foot into the library for good of course,” you shrugged with a lopsided grin and walked away from your lady friends, heading to the boys in the corridor.

 -

 “Y/N, I’m so sorry! I told these idiots that you were studying and they should not bother you!” Remus said as soon as he saw your moving figure approaching the door, his arms up in an apologetic gesture.

“That’s okay, Rem. I know their stupidity is uncontrollable,” you chuckled, squeezing the taller boy’s shoulder.

“Hey!” Sirius exclaimed, offended, as he ran a hand through his thick dark locks.

“She’s not lying,” Remus said with a light shrug of his shoulders, pressing his lips together to contain a smile.

“What do you bloody want from me anyway to barge in the library like that?” You winged your brows, specifically scolding James.

“Sorry about that, little one. Madam Pince really needs to learn how to relax,” he frowned, recalling her unpleasant screams. “Anyway, we got ourselves brand new phones and this muggle box you call a laptop and we were wondering if you could help us out with those… things.”

You lifted a brow as you crossed your arms across your chest, “you got phones? And laptops?” You repeated his sentence with a surprised tone of voice.

“That’s what I just said, yes,” James frowned.

“I reckon you saying something like,” you started, raising your hands in the air and mimicking quotes as you tried your best to impersonate James, “’I will never trade my owl and parchments for these bloody muggle things with these annoying noises.’”

“I’ll admit I may have spoken too soon,” he shrugged with a grimace. “Blimey, it’s hard not to surrender to those things when the entire school and even the Professors are using it!”

You gazed at James with an amused look on your face.

“So, will you help us out, love?” Sirius steadied himself on you as he wrapped his arm around your shoulders and stared at you with puppy eyes.

“I could use the help of these things to improve my studying method and have easier access to books,” Remus said shyly, putting his hands into his pockets.

“I want to try those games the lads have been playing, they’re even talking about doing championships and starting clubs,” Peter’s eyes twinkled as he nodded excitedly.

You heaved a sigh as you looked to the pleading faces of the four Marauders. “Fine, I’ll help you idiots out.”

 -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 You had been helping the Marauders with the muggle technology for a few days now and it wasn’t getting any easier. As wizards born and raised into wizarding families, the boys never had any sort of familiarity with technology nor muggle devices before, which hampered the task in hand considerably. Even Remus, who was unquestionably the cleverest among them, was struggling to learn how to properly use a phone.

Beginning with the smartphone was your idea, because you thought that after they mastered this complex device, learning how to use a laptop would be a piece of cake. You just didn’t imagine that it would be so bloody difficult.

“Wait, wait, and wait!” Sirius interrupted your explanation about the Face ID for the third time with a confused frown as he threw his head back heavily into the back pillow of the Gryffindor Common Room sofa. “How am I supposed to make my face unlock this thing? Will I have to hex it?”

“No, you daft dimbo!” You huffed, annoyed. “I’ll get there if you just stop interrupting me!”

“Sorry, love,” he smirked satisfied at your apparent annoyance, resting his elbows on Remus’ and James’ shoulders. “I’ll admit I have a liking to piss you off; and apparently I accomplish that even when I’m not trying to.”

“You sure do!” You smiled wryly at him, curling your legs on the seat of the stuffed armchair you were occupying, leaning yourself a little in the boys direction. “Anyway, you’ll access your phone settings right… here,” you said, showing them with your phone where to tap. “To register your face, you’ll need to hold your device between 10 and 20 inches away from you. With your face centered in the circle, you’ll move your head around until the scan is complete.”

The boys quickly followed your instructions and registered their faces, finally completing the basic configurations of their phones as they did so, allowing you to start teaching them how to use its apps and download other ones.

“There’s a camera in this? Cool!” Sirius exclaimed excitedly once he unlocked his phone screen. “What?” He added with a smile when you chuckled at his reaction.

“I’ve always thought that if you were a muggle, you’d sort of be an edgy photographer,” you answered with a lopsided grin.

“I could be one to,” James shrugged uninterested. “I’d definitely be edgy.”

“You, James? Come on!” You rolled your eyes, laughing wholeheartedly. “You’d be an annoying influencer jock.”

“A what?” He asked, utterly confused as if you were speaking in another language.

“You’d definitely be an overachiever high school athlete who were not only famous at school but also on the internet,” you winged your brows at him, resting your chin of your fist.

“You’d definitely be like that, mate!” Remus laughed, pointing his index finger at James.

“Yeah? And how would all-mighty Moony be?” James teased, crossing his arms across his chest and bending his head a little so he could playfully stare at his brown-haired friend.

“Rem would be a total hipster!” You shouted excitedly, clapping your hands. “He’d definitely be an outsider to the cultural mainstream, he’d have an online blog where he’d review books and would definitely be vocal about structural issues in the muggle society.”

“Why would he be the coolest among us?” James frowned, a little annoyed.

“Because he already is,” you shrugged, winging your brows.

“I can totally see muggle Moony being like that too,” Peter nodded vaguely from his seat on the arm of the sofa, picturing what you had just said inside his head.

“Can we focus on the tech again?” James said, swinging his phone in the air.

“Yes, we can, you pampered berk,” you answered, the ends of your lips curling up into an amused smirk as you got up of the armchair and motioned to the sofa, squeezing yourself between James and Sirius.

Slowly, you started to explain to them how to use the iMessage service and how to text someone and read the texts you receive. The boys seemed awestruck by the fact that you could get in touch with someone so easily and get an instant response back.

“Wicked! Now I can ask Lily out without putting myself in danger!” James exclaimed excitedly, the blaze that crackled in the fireplace lighting up his features. “Can’t I?”

“Well, she can always block your number, you know…” you frowned mockingly at him, earning amused laughs from Remus, Sirius and Peter.

The four of you teased James for a while before you and the boys got back to the teaching process. An hour or so later, you had already covered all the phone basic apps and they were already familiar with their functions and how to properly use them.

“Now, to the fun stuff!” You announced excitedly. “Let’s introduce you lads to the wonderful world of the trending apps.”

“Are there more?” Sirius widened his eyes as he rested his head on your shoulder.

“Indeed, my dear Black!” You quirked your brows satisfied, tilting your head so you could look him in the eyes. “There are tons of apps you can download to improve your experience, apps that match your likings such as, in your case, dating apps.”

“Dating apps? Can’t you just charm the ladies through texts?” He asked confusedly.

“You sure can, but these apps are basically made for people who want to engage on… knowing someone a little bit better, if you know what I mean,” you chuckled. “With the dating apps you don’t have to ask yourself if the other person is somehow romantically interested in you, because when they swipe right and the match is made, it means the interest is mutual.”

“And how would you know all this?” He asked, lifting his head and smirking mockingly at you. “Y/N L/N, do you use dating apps?”

“I don’t see how that’s any of your business,” you retorted, blushing furiously. Sirius’ smirk grew wider.

A sudden silence fell among the five of you as you and Sirius stared at each other with narrowed eyes; he holding a teasing look whilst you held a deadly one. James and Remus watched the scene with delighted expressions whilst Peter monotonously scrolled through his phone screen.

“Ahem,” Remus cleared his throat with an amused smile, dragging you and Sirius back to reality. “Are there any good apps to download books and to read them?”

You slowly tilted your head in Remus’ direction and, nodding, started to show him the apps you had on your phone for reading purposes and which ones you thought would fit his needs better. Remus avidly listened to your tips whilst downloading each and every app you had mentioned on his own phone.

The day quickly faded into night as you and the Marauders went on and on about the technologies and its functions and soon, the five of you were the only ones in the now silent Common Room, the light coming from the fireplace and the displays of your phones being the only things shining in the almost complete darkness.

“And done!” James exclaimed, getting up from the sofa and stretching himself. “TikTok is already downloaded and ready to be used! Tomorrow we’ll pull the ‘Dance Like a Hippogriff’ prank and Y/N here will film everything so we can upload the edited video on our TikTok account later.”

“Excuse you?” You frowned, crossing your arms across your chest.

“It’ll be fun, I promise!” He joined his hands pleadingly. “Come on! Please?” He added at the grimace you made.

“Fine!” You rolled your eyes with a smile after a few seconds. “Now I’m going to bed before another brilliant idea pops up into that twat mind of yours."

Saying goodbye to the Marauders, you walked to the stairs that led to the girls’ dormitory and took a quick look over your shoulder. Before you climbed up the stairs, a smile formed on your lips as you saw the four boys talking excitedly and laughing whilst scrolling through their phones.

#au #modern au #imagines #the marauders #the marauders imagine #harry potter #harry potter imagine #harry potter x reader #james potter x reader #sirius black x reader #remus lupin x reader #james potter #sirius black #remus lupin #peter pettigrew

[tthael]

I really admire so many things about your writing - the introspection and deep meaning, the realistic and sensitive way that you handle topics. Do you have any recs for fav media/books/tv shows/fanfics ? I guess I'm curious if there are any you think might have similar qualities/themes?

This is a tough one because basically everything I consume gets picked apart and reused in some way. However, I’ll give it a shot:

The Book Thief and I Am the Messenger by Markus Zusak. There’s quite a lot I like about Zusak’s use of language and have since 2007 when I read The Book Thief for the first time, and there’s something very cinematic and magical about I Am the Messenger (particularly in the chapter with the young track runner).

The Bone Clocks by David Mitchell. He’s most commonly known for Cloud Atlas, but he has an ongoing theme of vampires and cannibalism reappearing in his work (I just read Slade House for the first time while I was in quarantine) and there’s something deeply satisfying about the way that all of the disparate pieces come to fruition at the climax of The Bone Clocks. Not a perfect book, but deeply satisfying.

The Lacuna by Barbara Kingsolver. Again, she’s most commonly known for The Poisonwood Bible, but I liked that well enough to read The Lacuna in 2013, and I completely hated it for the first half of the book until finally something clicked in my brain and I activated the literary critic within, who doesn’t care so much about whether they enjoy something and more cares about how well something is done. The description of US American rationing during World War II really got me onto the novel’s side, if that makes sense; and I do love a good family epic, and while this only focuses on one protagonist instead of generations of them, it’s interesting in a similar way to The Bone Clocks where you see everything start to snowball together.

Literally anything by Ursula Vernon/T. Kingfisher. I particularly recommend The Raven and The Reindeer, which I read shortly after being diagnosed with my chronic illness and really helped me to understand the irrelevance of shame. There’s something very satisfying about saying “a reindeer doesn’t care if it smells bad, so I’m going to lean into that particular apathy and not allow a bully to take me down over it.” Something comforting about taking shelter in the animal and in survival, when you and your body are in one place and working on the same side, and it’s your brain that’s ready to give up first but your body will keep dragging you through because that’s what it does. Certain lines in Indelicate were inspired by her adaptation of Tam Lin in Jackalope Wives and other Stories (https://www.amazon.com/Jackalope-Wives-Other-Stories-Kingfisher-ebook/dp/B071946RLN). Lots of her short stories are available at this link for free: http://www.redwombatstudio.com/portfolio/writing/short-stories/

TV’s a little harder to unpack, since I don’t always think in terms of visual media, I tend to default to words first. Recently I’ve been enjoying New Amsterdam on NBC--it’s nice to see the radical socialist doctor doing his damnedest to secure the right thing--and Call the Midwife--similar reasons. There’s a lot about meeting someone where they are in both shows that I appreciate.

There’s also a lot of music that inspires my writing so I’ll have to dedicate a post specifically to that in my methods and materials.

Fanfic, though! Lots of my favorites, lots of genres. Here we go:

we are all stardust by synergenic (Losseflame) (https://archiveofourown.org/works/5682496) Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens, pairing Finn/Poe Dameron. Sexually explicit, but also leans a lot into physicality. You can probably see the influence on the very first chapter of Indelicate when Eddie’s waking up in pain and Richie’s at his bedside. It’s very much inspired by a similar sickbed scene here.

If They Haven’t Learned Your Name by silentwalrus (https://archiveofourown.org/works/6329503) Captain America/Marvel Cinematic Universe Steve Rogers/James “Bucky” Barnes. The holy grail of Steve/Bucky fanfiction. If you want independent character exploration, this is the place to go. Natasha shaving her head? Yes. Sam pleading with Steve to keep his shit together while thirty Koren grandmothers assume they are American celebrities? Yes. Bucky defiantly hunting down his sense of self while bingeing romance novels in a space ship? Yes. Pay particular attention to the Sam chapters, because they’re a beautiful way of defining Steve’s characterization from an outside perspective, and I’m trying to do the same with Eddie looking at Richie in Indelicate.

An Ever-Fixed Mark by AMarguerite (https://archiveofourown.org/works/8523001) Pride & Prejudice (Jane Austen) Elizabeth Bennet/Colonel Fitzwilliam, Elizabeth Bennet/Fitzwilliam Darcy. Soulmark AU. This is one of my longtime favorite fanfictions and what it taught me was cause and effect. The characters move the plot forward based on their assumptions and decisions. Definitely very helpful when I was writing TTHAEL by the seat of my pants.

You Can Keep Holding On by NorthernSparrow (https://archiveofourown.org/works/7233709) Supernatural Dean Winchester/Castiel. Sexually explicit. A lot of the summary I can give here is spoilers, but if you read this one through, you’ll be able to see the inspiration for the “Can you tell me where I can get another Eddie Kaspbrak?” scene in Indelicate.

Work of All Saints by antistar_e (kaikamahine) (https://archiveofourown.org/works/15006644) Coco (2017) Imelda Rivera/Héctor Rivera/Ernesto de la Cruz. Sexually mature. Oh my GOD this is a beautiful coming-of-age story set in turn-of-the-century Oaxaca, this is the best complete expansion of canon that I’ve ever seen; the author takes the pieces and runs with them and it is WONDERFUL.

Lycanthropic Studies by Eiiri (https://archiveofourown.org/series/575263) Harry Potter, Remus Lupin/Sirius Black canon-divergence AU. I very much enjoy the meditation on lycanthropy as a chronic illness and I sometimes reread this for comfort. Particularly early on Remus has a rant about how he’s sick and he’s always sick and his life doesn’t stop for it, despite holidays and birthdays he still has to deal with the consequences of his illness and take the devastating medication, and there’s a lot about that that speaks to me. I haven’t kept up with the series for some time, though.

Careful Truths by SassySnowperson (https://archiveofourown.org/works/12111966) Rogue One: A Star Wars Story, Bodhi Rook/Luke Skywalker canon-divergence AU. Sexually explicit. Honestly identity p!rn fics are a good inspiration for that third-person limited perspective I’ve been working on in Indelicate. Also I love love LOVE Bodhi Rook. It’s fun watching him run in circles trying to conceal his identity from Luke while completely oblivious to Luke doing exactly the same thing.

Stammtisch by chaya (https://archiveofourown.org/works/15060152) Critical Role: Season 2, Caleb Widogast/Mollymauk Tealeaf, AU. Sexually explicit. Long before Caleb actually leveled up enough to cast Mordenkainen’s Magnificent Mansion, chaya speculated about what kind of spaces he might create for each of his friends. I think it’s a very good resource for really condensing characterization down into lots of images and concepts and deciding what other characters know about them. The idea of making space for someone else is something that I lean into a lot when I write Ben, who’s the kind of man who will set himself on fire to keep those he loves warm, and even though Critical Role has far more material than even IT for determining characterization, and even though this particular moment has already occurred in canon--it’s just a wonderful homey story, and has the kind of found family vibes I like for the Losers as well.

I know that’s a lot to unpack there, but all of those fics are very good and I recommend reading any assortment that appeals to you. (Work of All Saints in particular you don’t have to be familiar with the source material beyond the basic premise; it stands on its own.) Thank you for asking, and thank you for reading!

#nocturnalpinkcat #my fic #indelicate #now what i'm gonna say may sound indelicate #nwigsmsi #things that happen after eddie lives #tthael #fic recs #book recs

[thusatlas]

From the Fanfic Asks post could I be greedy and ask for 3 questions? 9, 19 & 20? All or just one is fine of course. Thanks!

You can ask for anything you like my darling, and I will endeavour to oblige! 

9. Fake dating or arranged marriage?

I have more preference for fake dating because that always lends itself to the “idiots in love and are pining” and always the “oh look there’s only one bed available” trope, which is always fun. Plus you can season it with a bit of angst should you be so inclined and that just sweetens the deal. 

Now that’s not to say I’m against the arranged marriage trope. I’ve seen quite a few fun little ditties about this. However, to me, it’s not quite so light-hearted. I always perceive it as having a little bit of a Stockholm Syndrome undertone -  regardless of whether or not that is portrayed in the fic. So there’s always a little niggle in the back of my mind, questioning whether or not it’s a romance of convenience and captivity, rather than free will and genuine choice. I think the fake dating trope allows for the element of choice for the characters to remain free agents, should they wish to be. Marriage is just so final.

19. What’s your favorite character headcanon?

This is genuinely hard. 

Theo Nott being an agent of chaos is Tier 1 headcanon. He is my Mercutio. 

Obviously that Draco was totes in love or at least had strong feelings for Hermione for years and was uber conflicted about it -  this is also Tier 1.

There’s also my own that Barty Crouch Jnr never really bought into the whole Voldy regime and was just rebelling from his father. 

Oh and that the page that Draco tore from the book in Flourish and Blotts is the one that ended up in Hermione’s hand when she was petrified.

That Percy Weasley was also under the Imperious Curse come book 4 onwards. 

That the sword of Gryffindor was/is a Horcrux of some kind. 

Even though James and Sirius were the trouble makers, it was actually Remus who was the brain-child of most of their plots merely from necessity. He would see Sirius and James plotting away and he would see that it would lead to really quite bad outcomes. And so he would step in as a means to make their dreams a  “safe” reality. 

Oh and that McGonagall loved them all.

Hermione doesn’t end up in the Department of Magical Creatures. I don’t know where, but anything other than this is Tier 1. 

That Luna is either a changling of some kind, or her mother was a Malidictus of the wolf variety. 

There are others, but I have to stop before I write a novel here. 

20. Do you have a favorite fanfic or author? If so, tag them/post a link and share the love!

OOOOOOOOOOO

Olivie Blake

@olivieblake    

She is a huge influence on my own fic and inspired me to start writing again. And has also made me think seriously about writing my own independent literature. I have learnt so much from this woman - she is truly incredible. How to win friends and influence people is definitely in my top 10 and I recommend it to everyone.

Footloose 

I don’t know if they’re on tumblr, so I can’t tag them. Also not a Harry Potter writer. I fell in love with their work through the Merlin Fandom. Their Loaded March series is unforgettable and I cannot speak highly enough about their writing. Literally, I could name so many of their fics and just wax lyrical about their characterisations. Even if you’re not a Merthur fan or a Merlin fan, it’s definitely worth a read because it’s a masterpiece.

Senlinyu

@senlinyu

Everything she writes is golden. Literally. Everything. I dithered about reading Manacled for ages because I’m not usually into that level of darkness. But it’s a life-changing fic that lives in my mind, rent-free. 

LovesBitca8

@lovesbitca8

I think was the first author I read of Dramione with TRTTD. The rest is history. Such an incredible writer that fully seduces you with the story and makes it so you never want to leave. 

Honourable mention:

Rizzle

I have only very recently found LIATOTZA and I can just tell that this is going to be another fic that changes me and lives within my soul forever more. 

I think that’s the theme with all of these and so many more that I haven’t mentioned like The Gloriana Set by ThebeMoon, these aren’t just fanfic, these are fantastic, beautifully written, world-encompassing stories that will live on in me. They have framed my narrative and the way that I myself approach stories. I am influenced and inspired by so many amazing fics that it genuinely would be impossible to name them all. Instead, I shall link my bookmark list to give you a fraction of the truly fantastic work that I have consumed. 

#fanfic #lainie2230 #answered ask #senlinyu #olivie blake #lovesbitca8 #merthur #dramione #merlin #harry potter #harry potter head canons #maurauders era #fake dating #arranged marriage

[fanfictionaries]

Oh So Many Years: Ch. 15 - Feelin’ The Same Way

Pairing: Hermione Granger x Fred Weasley

Summary:

What happens when two people try way too hard to act normal?

Warnings: Swearing, Death, Smut/18+ NSFW

Author’s Note:

Hi all! Thank you so much for being SO patient. I definitely expected to have this up at the very latest yesterday, but alas that’s no he way the universe intended it to be. HOWEVER, expect the next chapter at my normally scheduled time (I have a little fun something planned for next chapter)! 

I hope you enjoy and as always feel free to like, comment, and reblog. I LOVE interacting with you all!!

Masterlist

<<<Chapter 14

And I'm feelin' the same way all over again Feelin' the same way all over again Singin' the same lines all over again No matter how much I pretend

 “Now, why is it I’m not surprised to find you here?”

A deep and boisterous voice jolted Hermione fully awake. Sitting ramrod straight in the old squatty armchair, the pieces of parchment previously spread across her lap slid off, floating to the floor in all directions. She’d been dozing, stuck in a perpetual state of semi-consciousness since three in the morning. Never fully asleep. Never fully awake. Glancing at the old grandfather clock in the corner she saw it was nearly seven. Bringing a hand up, Hermione ran her fingers through the nest that was currently her hair, grimacing when she met several tangles and knots. Looking around her with bleary eyes, she found Sirius Black standing before her, arms crossed as he stared down at her in curiosity.

“Sirius, I—” she began to apologize, realizing only then that perhaps she wasn’t allowed to freely roam the house as she did the Burrow. But Sirius cut her off, giving her an amused look.

“Relax, kitten. You’re fine. I should have known you’d find the library before long. It’s lucky that you brought your own reading material though. Remus and I haven’t finished clearing the shelves for cursed books,” said Sirius casually, bending down to pick up one of the many pieces of parchment that lay at his feet.

Hermione stood, crossing the space between them, and snatching the parchment from his hand before scrambling to pick up the rest of the loose papers. She didn’t know how much Fred and George fancied sharing their inventions – even if it was with someone as innocuous as Sirius Black. “Cursed books?” she asked, hoping the question would distract the older wizard from her suspicious actions.

Whether it truly did or not, she couldn’t be certain. But either way Sirius took the bait with good humour, sitting casually on the couch in front of the library fireplace. He settled into the old cushions with a contended sigh, kicking his leather-booted feet up onto the coffee table and spreading his arms wide across the back of the couch. He sat with all the pomp and circumstance of a royal. Apparently, twelve years in Azkaban and another two on the run did nothing to quell his aristocratic upbringing and all the self-assuredness that came with it. The expensive material of his dark green button up shirt matched the extravagance of Grimmauld Place well, Hermione thought, – even if the house still held a generous layer of cobwebs. The Sirius Black that sat before her was nothing like the Sirius Black she’d known before. Even after observing him for quite some time the night before, his appearance still threw Hermione for a loop. He looked good – healthier. No longer was he the gaunt, crazy shell of a man she’d met a year and a half ago. Instead, he looked like he’d gained some weight back, the shadows under his eyes were nearly invisible, and there was a spark to him that was previously missing. Clearly his newfound freedom had done him good. Although, from the sounds of his heated statements at dinner the night before, you’d think he was still locked up in a cell. Sirius was none too pleased about being stuck in his childhood home. Hermione, while sympathetic, felt the very muggle sentiment of ‘Beggars can’t be choosers’ come to mind.

“Yes, cursed books—” Sirius twisted his face in a mixture of disgust and disdain “—meant to cause harm to anyone who touches them if their blood isn’t completely pure. Dear old mummy was many things, but tolerant of those unlike herself was not one of them. Of course, that shouldn’t surprise you. You had the pleasure of meeting her likeness yesterday.”

Hermione’s face twisted as well thinking about the horrible portrait and the vile insults the woman had screamed. That had been Sirius’s mother? Suddenly his disdain for the Black family home made a bit more sense. “Yes, I remember quite well. She seemed lovely,” her words dripped with sarcasm as she dropped the pile of parchment down onto the coffee table and sat on the opposite end of the couch. She pulled Fred’s cardigan tighter around her body, fighting the slight chill of the early morning. It may have been the end of July, but last nights storm was still wearing off.

Sirius let out a barking laugh, throwing his head back. “Oh yeah. Real saint of a woman.”

“I can’t imagine how idyllic your childhood must have been.”

“Sunshine and rainbows my dear.”

“Does that mean you did, in fact, get the pony you always wanted for your fifth birthday?”

“Just one pony? You clearly underestimate the generous nature of my family.”

“Oh of course. How silly of me.”

The pair chuckled lightly, sending fond smiles in each other’s direction. It truly was good to see Sirius in better circumstances and in better spirits, thought Hermione resolutely.

“So, what are you doing this early in the library? Hoping to do a bit of early morning reading?” asked Hermione, putting an end to their clever repertoire.

“No, I was actually taking a morning sniff around the garden and a certain furry feline mentioned you were in here,” said Sirius with a wry grin.

“I was wondering where Crooks had gone. I haven’t seen him since last night when Kingsley Shacklebolt nearly toppled over him on his way to the loo,” giggled Hermione, remembering the way the large authoritative man had nearly fallen straight into Emmeline Vance’s lap.

“Yes, he’s been staying out of the way since. I sent him up to the attic to keep Buckbeak company for a while. Hope that’s okay.”

“I’ve learned it’s not really up to me to decide the comings and goings of my cat. The most I can do is make sure his food dish is full and offer the odd scratch behind the ear when he fancies it,” Hermione admitted.

“Well, that’s not unheard of for Kneazles – even part Kneazles like Crookshanks,” sniffed Sirius.

“Buckbeak is here then?”

“Yeah! Wish I could give him room to spread his wings a bit more. He had loads of space last year when we were on the run, but Dumbledore thinks it’s best if I stay put here. No matter how vile it is. Apparently, I’m the Ministry’s number one scapegoat.”

“Lucky you.”

“I know. It’s difficult being so popular—” Sirius smiled wryly and brought a hand up to rub at his neatly trimmed facial hair “—I’d set him free of course, but I worry the ministry might catch sight of him. That and we’ve become rather attached.”

“Shall I start drafting the marriage license?” Hermione asked, giving Sirius a cheeky look.

The older wizard’s shoulders shook as full body laugher racked him. “You’ve gotten funnier,” he observed.

“Bad influence,” Hermione responded, thinking fondly of Fred and George and her time performing mental gymnastics the previous year. Everything was a joke with the Weasley twins. Everything was a witty comeback, a good one-liner, a clever repartee.

“Not my godson’s, surely?”

“No, Harry’s not nearly as funny as me.”

“Hah! Now that I don’t believe. He’s too much like his father.”

Was he? Hermione wondered. Everything she’d heard about Harry’s father lead her to believe that he was more like Fred and George than Harry. Sure, Harry was good at quidditch, didn’t care much for schoolwork, and had a special fondness for sarcasm, but despite his best efforts he tried his best to fly under the radar.

“How is he, by the way? My godson that is.” Sirius shifted, turning towards her, and taking on a more serious tone.

“Okay, I think. Last I heard from him was a week or so ago. He’s miserable at his aunt and uncle’s but that’s to be expected—” she paused, considering whether to say the next part “—Dumbledore told Ron and me not to write to him too much. At least not about anything serious. He doesn’t want to worry him after…well after everything that’s happened.”

“That’s a load of dragon shite,” scoffed Sirius. “He’s old enough and Merlin knows he deserves to know what’s going on more than anyone.”

Hermione nodded thoughtfully. Sirius wasn’t wrong. Harry did deserve to know the truth. Glancing again at the clock, she saw the large hand was now pointing decidedly south. People would start waking up soon.

“Well, I’ll have to pay Buckbeak and Crooks a visit sometime today—” Hermione stood, picking up her stack of parchment and stretching. The muscles of her back ached in protest; sleeping upright really did nothing for her spine “—perhaps my cat will pay me the kindness of putting up with my presence.”

Sirius laughed again, standing himself but lingering behind as she made her way to the door. Hand on the large brass handle, Hermione paused. There’d been something on her mind since the night before. Sitting around the table as order members chatted and filled themselves with Molly’s famous roast dinner, the overwhelming darkness of their situation slipped through the cracks of mild-mannered joviality. She couldn’t ignore the whispered snippets of conversations carried over from the Order’s meeting or the way they looked at each other as each member left for the evening – as if the weight of some grave responsibility rested upon them; as if it might be the last time they saw each other.

“Things are different now, aren’t they,” she murmured the words, still staring down at the handle in her grasp. She knew Sirius would be honest with her. He was always honest with Harry – to a dangerous level in her opinion. Somehow, he didn’t see them as children the way everyone else did. A fact she was both hesitant about and grateful for. The room was quiet, almost too still, as Hermione waited for him to answer. Surely, he expected her to say something. How could she not? What was going on, this war, it affected her differently. Certainly not in the way that it did Harry, but still. As a muggleborn, as a…mudblood, she was more vulnerable than most and she’d certainly done nothing in her life to fly under anyone’s radar.

“I’m afraid so, kitten,” Sirius sighed, and she didn’t need to turn around to know that his shoulders were no doubt slumped in exhaustion. War was a tiring thing.

“Should I be worried?”

“No,” Sirius answered, too quickly for Hermione’s liking. “The only thing you should be worried about right now is continuing to outwit every poor sod at Hogwarts.”

Hermione turned then, looking over her shoulder and giving the older wizard a reproachful look.

“Hogwarts is the safest place for anyone these days, Hermione.”

“Are you so sure about that?” Hermione left Sirius with the question hanging in the air, turning, and exiting the library with haste. She knew the statement was entirely out of character. Perhaps Sirius was unaware of that, considering he knew very little about her. But she couldn’t help but be shaken by her own doubt in Hogwarts and the abilities of their headmaster. She had a bad feeling about the upcoming year. Maybe her endless nightmares were turning her sour and cynical. Maybe she’d read too many bias-ridden articles in the Daily Prophet. Or maybe it was watching her best friend cry over the dead body of a fellow student.

“Wotcher, ‘Mione,” called a voice in surprise as Hermione collided with a tall, unyielding body. Bringing out a hand to stabilize herself, she was met with the shock of damp skin. Once her vision focused, she realized in even more shock that she was currently touching the bare expanse of a pale and freckled chest. Wide and firm, the muscles flexed under her fingertips. Please don’t be him, please don’t be him, she chanted in her head before looking up slowly. Drats. Of course, it was Fred’s chest she was currently groping. She should move her hand away. She really should. But she couldn’t. He was unfairly handsome with his hair freshly washed, droplets of water running from the wet strands at the nape of his neck down his shoulder and meeting her hand in heavy rivulets. He smelled good as well – warm and spicy and fresh like soap and myrrh with just a dash of peppercorns. Damn him. 

“We really need to stop meeting like this,” joked Fred, stepping around her and walking backwards towards his room. “Where’ve you been this early?”

“Just looking over your notes.” Hermione held up the parchment and watched as Fred’s eyes lit up.

“Wicked! Want to go over them before breakfast?”

“Um, sure. I just need to go and change.”

“Yeah, yeah. Take your time. Do all your girly stuff and meet me and George back in our room when you’re done.” Fred smiled and it took everything in Hermione’s power not to drool. It should be illegal to walk around this house in nothing but your trousers.

Still, she was going for normal. So, she opted for letting out a very unladylike snort instead. “Girly stuff?”

“Sure—” Fred shrugged “—you know. Hair, makeup, outfit, terrorizing small villages—whatever takes you lot so long to get ready.”

“Are you under the impression girls need to strike fear into the hearts of innocent people before they can drink their morning cuppa?”

“Wouldn’t surprise me. You certainly scare me,” said Fred, widening his eyes teasingly.

“Hmmm good. Give me ten, alright?”

“Only ten?!” cried Fred disbelievingly as he turned away from him.

“It’s a nearby village!” Hermione called after him, earning herself a loud guffaw from the Weasley twin.

She tried not to let Fred’s laughter go to her head. Sirius had just been stroking her ego in the library; Fred’s reaction was nothing but equal to that surely and she didn’t get all flustered from Sirius’s compliments. However, only five minutes later Hermione caught the sight of her stupidly pleased grin in the mirror as she brushed her teeth. She rinsed her toothbrush and set in down to dry. Gripping the sides of the porcelain sink in her hands she braced herself against it and stared hard into the mirror.

“You can’t have him Hermione. He has a girlfriend,” she told herself quietly feeling an overwhelming sense of dread. “An incredibly tall, gorgeous, talented girlfriend that you don’t even hold a candle to. Why would he want you? He probably likes her because she spends all her free time doing cool things like quidditch,” said Hermione, voice taking on a woe is me tone.

Continuing to stare into the mirror, she assessed her appearance. George had been astute in his assessment of her the day before; she had gotten taller. Her father remarked that this was probably the tail end of puberty making its mark as she now surpassed her mother’s height by two inches. Her mother agreed with this statement when Hermione begrudgingly admitted she was in desperate need of new bras. It wasn’t just her body that had changed either, she mused staring hard at the angles of her face. She’d lost some of the roundness to her face, the softness of adolescence melting down to sharper angles. The cut of her cheekbones was more pronounced, her jawline was harder, and her chin had more of a point to it. Despite the changes, Hermione couldn’t help but still feel very plain. Sure, she was much prettier than the year before and even more so than the years before that, but she didn’t compare to the other girls at Hogwarts. She didn’t have Lavender’s pretty blonde waves, Pavarti’s smooth flawless skin, Fay’s high cheekbones, or Emmy’s sparkling blue eyes.

And those were just the girls in her year, sulked Hermione as she exited the bathroom and popped back into her bedroom to drop off her toiletries. There were the older girls too. The ones with more confidence and more experience. How was she supposed to compare to someone like Angelina Johnson? The Gryffindor seventh year had a good four inches on her, and it was all leg. Not to mention she was about as athletically fit as a girl could get. Hermione’s body wasn’t awful she thought, she had gotten more curves over the last few months and she was considerably thinner these days. But that was due more to the lack of sleep and stress. She didn’t have lean muscles from hours working out of the quidditch field.

“I could play quidditch if I wanted,” Hermione said petulantly to herself.

“Hah! Good one.”

Hermione turned in surprise to see Ginny entering their room. Great.

“I’ve seen you on a broom Hermione and while I love you dearly, you’re completely rubbish,” said Ginny very sweetly but honestly.

Hermione sighed.

“Why is it so bloody cold in July?” asked Ginny. The younger girl gave an exaggerated shiver and dug into the contents of her dresser before pulling out a thick pair of socks.

“I’m sure it will wear off soon. The weatherman said we’re due for a heatwave soon before I left home,” Hermione informed her, grabbing her wand, and tucking the stack of notes under arm.

“Weatherman? Like on the television?” asked Ginny curiously. Ginny had chosen Muggle Studies as one of her electives – really to please her father than for her own amusement. Hermione had been helping her and she was picking things up surprisingly well.

Hermione nodded, looking down at her own sock ladened feet. Reaching once again for Fred’s cardigan, she stopped herself. He did say it was hers now, but wearing it so often felt a bit like overkill. She was supposed to be acting like she wasn’t in love with him. So, instead Hermione dug into the wardrobe and pulled out one of her new jumpers – a green knit pullover that fit well over her t-shirt. She paused to put it on before heading for the door.

“Where are you off to this early?” asked Ginny, sitting down on her bed, and pulling out a copy of Seeker Weekly. She flipped through the pages casually.

“Summer homework,” Hermione lied.

“Have fun,” Ginny called after her, although her intonation implied that she thought nothing about doing summer homework sounded fun.

Hermione crossed the hall, knocking on the twins’ door lightly.

“Come in!” one of the twins called from the other side. Hermione turned the doorknob, cautiously entering the room. Her eyes darted back and forth for any signs of suspicion. You never knew with Fred and George. Hermione always had to be on her guard. During their time together at school, she found they were respectful enough to keep her out of their pranks as she was helping them. But that didn’t mean she was exempt from the odd exploding ink bottle or charmed book.

“Guard down, Hermione. You’re here on business – no pranks today,” said George in good humor.

Hermione relaxed a little, stepping fully into the room and crossing to where Fred and George sat on their bed.

“So—” she began, slipping into the business-like manner she usually took when she worked with them on their inventions “—I’ve read through your notes and I have to say I’m quite impressed boys.”

“You read through them all? Already?” asked George in disbelief.

“Are you that surprised?” snorted Fred. “Go on ‘Mione. I believe you were saying something about us being devastatingly handsome geniuses?”

Hermione rolled her eyes and took a seat on the bed as well, crossing her legs and sorting through the parchment. “Alright, walk me through it.”

The pair of them looked at her in confusion, side-eyeing each other before responding in unison, “What do you mean?”

“Well, I’m sensing a theme in some of these products. So, walk me through it. What’s your elevator pitch, so to say?”

“Our what?” asked Fred, scratching the back of his head.

“Honestly, and you two call yourselves aspiring businessmen. An elevator pitch is a short speech you give to explain your idea or product. For example, imagine you’re in a lift at the ministry and an investor walks in and you only have the few minutes during your ride to convince them to give you money for your product. Elevator pitch,” Hermione explained, watching at understanding washed over their faces.

“Brilliant, these muggle things,” smiled Fred, looking to George.

“Right, well how many times have you wanted to skive off class or get out of a meeting or event but didn’t have a proper excuse?” began George, putting on all the airs of a professional showman.

Hermione’s opened her mouth to say that she’d never once considered skiving off class, but Fred cut her off.

“We’re speaking to the general public here ‘Mione. Keep your personal biases to yourself, please.”

Hermione snapped her jaw shut, screwing her mouth to the side.

Fred smiled smugly before picking up where George left off, “You wished you had the excuse of a sick day, but your acting skills just aren’t up to scratch.”

“Instead of agonizing over how you’re going to properly convince Madame Pomfrey you’ve got a pounding headache—”

“—or prove to your boss that you really have been on the toilet all day—”

“—try a sweet from Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes’ Skiving Snack Box!” cried George.

“Fever Fudge.”

“Fainting Fancies.”

“Puking Pastilles.”

“Nosebleed Nougat!”

The pair were really getting into it now.

“All you’ll need to get out of any class, appointment, or event—”

“—with none the wiser.”

They ended their speech with wide smiles, clearly pleased with themselves. Hermione looked at them for a moment. As much as she didn’t agree with the implied usage of the products, she couldn’t deny that many students would want them.

“How…how do you like it?” Fred asked, looking nervous as Hermione considered them.

She smiled. “I think you’re going to sell out before you’ve even finished making them,” Hermione answered honestly. “But—” she continued, putting a pause to their mounting excitement “—we have a lot of work to do before then. There are large gaps, and it looks like the only one you’ve made any progress with is the nosebleed nougats.”

“Yeah, about those—”

“You haven’t figured out how to stop the bleeding, have you?” Hermione asked, cutting George off. Although, the question was really more of a statement.

“How did you know?” asked Fred.

“It’s all in the notes, Frederick,” said Hermione exasperatedly, jabbing a finger into the pile of detailed drawings and messy handwriting. Merlin, this was going to be a long morning.

“What about banewort?” suggested George, an hour later. They’d put as much brainstorming into the Nosebleed Nougats as they could for the time being, finally settling on ground mustard root as the best possible clotting agent to stop the bleeding. Now they’d moved onto Fever Fudge.

“Only if you want to kill your customers!” exclaimed Hermione, shooting George a look of exasperated disbelief. She paced the floor of the bedroom, wracking her brain for what could possibly induce fever without causing permanent harm…or death.

“That’s nightshade mate,” she heard Fred whisper to George.

“How was I supposed to know that?” George whispered back.

“I don’t know, maybe five years of potions classes?” said Fred sarcastically.

“You’re the one that got an Acceptable in potions!”

“Yes, but I failed Herbology!”

“Can you two please shut it for just a second? Please?! I’m trying to think…” Hermione continued to pace, feeling her hair growing in size. It always did when she was frazzled.

“Oh! Hermione!”

“I said shut it!” Hermione growled, spinning on the spot, and glaring a hole through Fred.

Fred stared back at her in surprise before crossing his arms and sitting back. “Fine,” he said with contempt.

Hermione immediately regretted her outburst. “What is it Fred?” she asked with an exhale.

“Nothing.”

“It was clearly something.”

“Yes, but then you yelled at me.”

“You’re being a child.”

“I know you are, but what am I?”

“Just spit it out Frederick!” Hermione picked up a pillow from the empty bed and hurled it towards Fred, knocking the petulant expression off his face. It was immediately replaced by a mischievous smile and Hermione’s blood ran cold. Before she could even take a step, Fred had leapt from the bed and lunged for her. In the last second, Hermione darted out of his way bounding onto the empty bed and landing on the other side, so the distance of a mattress lay between them. She picked up another pillow and held it defensively in her hands.

“Go on, throw another pillow. I dare you,” challenged Fred, leaning lighting on the mattress in front of him, fingertips steepled on the dark grey duvet.

“Tell me what you were going to say,” Hermione said back, feeling her blood race through her veins, heart beating loudly in her ears as she stood light-footed, waiting for Fred to pounce.

“Throw the pillow.”

“Tell me.”

“Throw the pillow!”

“Tell me!” shouted Hermione, swinging the pillow back and chucking it across the bed with all her strength. Unsurprisingly, Fred caught the pillow easily and Hermione let out a shrill scream. She turned, darting for the door, but Fred vaulted the bed and reached her just as her fingers brushed the brass of the doorknob.

The burly ginger’s arms wrapped themselves around her middle and hoisted her up into the air as she kicked and yelled, “Put me down Frederick!”

“Such a violent little lion! No wonder they sorted you into Gryffindor! Is that the best you can do?” asked Fred, throwing her down onto the bed. Hermione bounced, the mattress surprisingly springy for its age. Huffing, she blew the hair out of her face just in time to see Fred swinging a pillow down at her. She brought her hands up in front of her face, blocking the strike and grabbing hold of the pillow tightly. With a hard tug, Fred came toppling down over her, but still the fight was on. In a mess of knees and elbows they grappled over the pillow, laughter bubbling up from their chests. Soon the real reason for their confrontation was forgotten and instead each party fought simply for the sake of winning.

“Aha!” Fred exclaimed triumphantly as he successfully pinned both of Hermione’s wrists down on the bed. Hermione breathed hard, glaring up at Fred and realizing she’d been bested. She gave one last effort to break free, bucking and twisting her body, but remaining weighed down by the boy above her. Hermione let out a groan of frustration.

“Now, now. Don’t be such a poor loser, ‘Mione. Maybe this’ll teach you to not start fights you’re no match for.”

“In case you’ve forgotten I terrorized an entire village this morning before I got here. You’re barking if you think I’m frightened by you Frederick Weasley.” 

They both laughed, hearty full body guffaws, at the inside joke until their sides ached and they simmered down into small giggles that forced past their lips. In that moment Hermione was struck by just how full Fred’s bottom lip was. She stared at it, unwillingly, before her eyes flickered back up to find Fred looking down at her. He looked at her very much the same way he had the night of the yule ball and then again in the hallway the night before.

A throat cleared from inside the room and their heads snapped to the side to see George still sitting on the other bed, looking at them like he’d just witnessed a unicorn walk through the door on its hind legs eating a bag of crisps. Hermione looked back up at Fred and then at their bodies closely pressed together with sinking realization. Fred jumped off of her, nearly toppling onto the ground as he did so. Hermione in turn, half scooted, half crab walked across the bed until she was flush with the headboard. She could already feel a brilliant flush forming on her face as the room stood silent, Fred staring hard out the window, George smiling widely in scandalous amusement, and Hermione glancing nervously between the two and the door. It was on her third pass over the door that it swung open, revealing a very annoyed Ron.

“There you are! Come on, mum’s got breakfast ready and then she has a whole list of chores,” grumbled Ron, leaning against the doorframe giving the three of them an odd look. “What’s going on in here?”

“Nothing! Let’s go down for breakfast, I’m starving.” Hermione scurried off the bed and towards the door, thanking Merlin and those who came before and after him for Ron’s impeccable timing.

What was that?! she asked herself as she descended the stairs, letting Ron’s whinging over chores fill the space her thoughts could not. Her body felt hot and flushed. She reached for the bottom hem of her jumper and lifted it over her head, extricating herself from the suffocating layer. Suddenly the day wasn’t so chilly. In fact, a cold shower sounded quite swell.

Ron may have given her a perfectly timed exit from the room, but there was no escaping the self-satisfied grin on George’s face at breakfast. Of course, he found the whole thing amusing. It was only her pitifully pathetic crush on his brother and her complete lack of self-control when it came to Fred pushing her buttons. She should have never thrown that pillow. Surely, they both knew now. At the very least George knew. At worst Fred knew. It was most likely why he wouldn’t look at her. Why he sat at the opposite end of the kitchen table. She could kick herself. Barely a day with the Weasleys and she’d made an absolute fool of herself. Good going Granger.

  Fred was mortified to say the least. Barely a day with Hermione and he had completely lost his mind. What on earth had possessed him to manhandle her like that? And in front of George no less. He’d never hear the end of it now. He could already hear his brother’s self-righteous words in his head: What about Angelina? What about Ron? I thought you said you didn’t have feelings for Granger. Lying to your twin brother now, Freddie?

What an absolute nightmare. He couldn’t even look at her, too afraid of the reproachful stare she was sure to give him. She must think him a real tosser now. Fred Weasley, the boy with a girlfriend, wrestling around with his little brother’s girl? She isn’t his girl though, said a small little voice in the back of his head. Yeah, but she’s as good as and once again I have a girlfriend, Fred answered back. He could do with a hard pillow to the head now, he reasoned – anything to get his mind off the way Hermione’s body had felt under his. The softness of her as she laughed sweetly below him, hair fanned out on the mattress. If he thought the memory of their kiss last Christmas was hard to forget, then this might as well be permanently branded onto the inside of his skull.

He spent the rest of the day avoiding her, choosing the chores on his mother’s list that were sure to keep him the busiest and furthest away from the bushy-haired fifth year. Unfortunately, that meant he was pruning the overgrown Shrivelfig tree in the garden and mucking out Hippogriff dung in the attic. They were tasks that would have taken him easily no time at all with magic, but he decided to leave his wand behind seeing the hard and nasty work as both a time consumer and a strange form of penitence for his previous behavior that morning. Maybe if he wore himself out, he wouldn’t be so bloody horny.

“Alright there, Freddie?” asked George, tinkering with a spitting teapot when Fred finally emerged from the attic and back in their room.

“Piss off,” Fred grumbled. He was tired, sticky, and smelled like Hippogriff dung. The last thing he wanted to hear was the bout of teasing George had undoubtedly been saving up since that morning.

“Someone’s in a mood again. I thought maybe all that physical exertion would have left you in better spirits.”

“You know, surprisingly, spending the day knee deep in Shrivelfig juice and Hippogriff shite really hasn’t left me too chuffed,” Fred bit back. He pulled his filth-covered shirt off and threw it on the floor before searching for his towel.

“Now brother, you and I both know that isn’t at all what I was referring to,” said George condescendingly. He placed the teapot down on the desk and gave Fred a knowing look.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” responded Fred, finding his towel underneath a pile of brightly covered packaging. He gave it a good shake before slinging it over his shoulder and making his way to the door. He needed a shower.

“You can’t avoid this forever!” George called after him.

“I said piss off!” Fred called back, only earning him a great roar of laughter from George as he slammed the door behind him.

He saw Ginny in hallway as he stormed towards the bathroom. The poor girl became another victim of his bad temper as he lifted two very rude fingers when she’d wrinkled her nose and told him he smelled like Bubotuber puss on a hot day. She called him a berk in return which Fred allowed, because she was right. Why couldn’t George just leave it alone? He’d been dogging Fred for nearly a year now about Hermione and it was grating on his nerves more than ever. No matter how many times he told his twin he didn’t fancy the girl, he still pressed on. It’s because he knows you’re lying, thought Fred irritably. Twins – they knew too much. Although Fred reasoned if George truly knew everything about him then he’d know well enough to let it be. Fred was dating Angelina. Ron liked Hermione. Hermione liked Ron. End of story.

The cold water did nothing to simper Fred’s foul mood. He carried it with him all through dinner, snapping at Ron twice and earning him a sharp dressing-down from his mum. So, when dinner was over, he opted to skip dessert and head upstairs instead, shooting George a look that said, ‘If you follow me, I’ll kill you’. Thankfully, George heeded his warning and left Fred to do as he pleased. He spent most of the night making fake wands. When he finished with that, he attempted to see how long he could balance items on top of each other using a simple levitation spell. His best time was thirty minutes and twenty-eight seconds, levitating the desk, a chair, and three books all on top of a single galleon, before they toppled over in a large crash. His mother’s scolding yell traveled all the way up from the ground floor and put an end to his little game. Finally, when the sun had set for the day, he reasoned he could go to bed. Maybe a fresh start would set him right. But the world was cruel and so sleep evaded him like the plague. Sitting up after nearly an hour of tossing and turning, Fred threw back his covers and grabbed his notebook and a few books from the desk before storming out of the room.

To his great relief the library was empty when he entered. The clock in the corner told him it was nearly ten at night. Everyone was probably in bed or headed there. George of course had been nowhere in sight when he’d left their room, but he was probably listening to one of Sirius’s old war stories. Turns out Sirius Black had been quite the prankster in school as well – much like Fred and George, though not nearly as committed as they were, Fred thought. Sitting down on the couch, he grabbed the moth-eaten afghan from the back and draped it over his lap then opened his book and began to read. Fully immersed in a chapter on boils and their healing droughts, Fred failed to hear the library doors open.

“Oh!” a startled voice broke him from his concentration, and he looked up to find Hermione standing before him. “I didn’t think anyone else would be up this late,” said the witch bashfully.

Fred glanced to the clock again to see the hands pointed to nearly one in the morning. Had he really been reading for that long?

“I can…I’ll just go,” stuttered Hermione, turning to exit the library.

“No,” said Fred a bit too forcefully before clearly his throat and evening his voice. “I mean, I can leave if you want the space to yourself.” He made to rise from the couch.

“Oh, don’t do that. You were here first. I don’t mind sharing if you don’t,” said Hermione, chewing on her bottom lip in an irritatingly distracting manner.

Fred swallowed thickly. A small part of him did care. It cared very deeply. But he needed to act normal. Friends could read in the same library as each other. So, he put on his best impression of calm and unbothered when he answered, “Not at all.”

He relaxed back into the couch, surprised when Hermione seated herself on the other end. Maybe he hadn’t offended her as badly as he thought he had. If he had, he assumed she would have taken the chair instead.

“It’s a bit chilly in here.”

“Want me to light a fire?” Fred asked.

“Could you?” 

Fred nodded his head, reaching for his wand only to realize he’d left it in his room. “I don’t have my wand,” he said sheepishly.

“Oh, that’s alright,” responded Hermione, curling her legs underneath her and opening her book.

Fred glanced down at the blanket covering his lower half. “Do you want the blanket?”

Hermione looked up from her book. “Wouldn’t you be cold?” she asked hesitantly.

Fred shrugged. Probably, he thought, but the least he could do is put up with a bit of cold for her.

“I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about it,” she said flippantly.

“Just take the blanket. It’s no big deal.”

“Really, I’ll be okay Fred.”

“I don’t know why you’re being so stubborn about it.”

“I’m not!”

“At least take part of it,” cried Fred, internally groaning when he realized what he’d said. Why did she have to push his buttons so well? It made him forget himself.

“What? You mean like share it?”

Fred hesitated. He was balancing a thin line. If he backtracked now then it would make it seem like he had some reason for not wanting to share the blanket, but if he pushed too far then it might imply some ulterior motive.

“If you want. Blankets big enough for two.” He shrugged nonchalantly. Hermione stared at him and then the afghan for a few moments, most likely weighing the pros and cons of sharing a blanket with her friend’s creepy older brother. Finally, she scooted closer on the couch, having made her decision. Fred sagged in relief, untucking the blanket from around his legs and draping it across Hermione’s lower half as well. They were closer now but not too close, the space under the afghan heating up quickly from their combined body heat. Fred had to admit, it was nice – being warmer that is. It was quiet as they read. Or at least as Hermione read. Fred couldn’t stop his eyes from drifting to the witch besides him, watching her out of the corner of his eye. She was wearing his cardigan again. It hung on her in an unfairly attractive way. His mind drifted to images of her wearing his cardigan and nothing els—stop, he scolded himself. Looking back down at his book, he tried to focus on the words in front of him but instead all he could think about was the uncomfortable tension between them. He needed to do something to put things right again.

“Pigeon berry,” he said, breaking the silence.

“What?” Hermione looked up from her book in confusion.

“For the Fever Fudge – pigeon berry.”

“Really?” said Hermione in surprise, but not in a rude way – in the way she always sounded surprised when a thought was brought up, she had not previously considered. Fred had come to know the tone quite well the previous year.

“Yeah, it has similar effects as nightshade but it’s not nearly as dangerous.”

“It can still be lethal though,” countered Hermione.

“I thought of that—” Fred closed his book and placed it on the coffee table, reaching instead for his notebook and opening it to the notes he’d made earlier that night while the thoughts were still fresh in his mind “—if we concentrate it to get an exact potency and then use small amounts, diluting it with Moondew, we should be able to get the side effects without it being dangerous.”

Hermione scooted closer, looking down at his notes in hard concentration. After a moment, she looked up at him with a wide smile. “That’s brilliant Fred,” she breathed.

Fred shrugged. He’d been doing that a lot that day. One would think he was trying too hard to act cool.

He fully expected Hermione to move away from him once she’d had her fill of his notes, but she didn’t. Instead she stayed nearly glued to his side, their legs and arms touching under the blanket as she returned to her book. They read on for a while longer until Hermione broke the silence with a large yawn. He watched her bring a hand over her mouth and then shake her head back and forth, blinking rapidly as she tried to stay awake. She should go to bed, thought Fred. She looked bone tired. The shadows he’d seen hints of since she arrived were more prominent than ever under her eyes and there was a desperate bloodshot look to the whites of them.

“Why don’t you go to bed ‘Mione?” he suggested lightly.

Hermione shook her head. “No. I can’t.”

“You sure about that? ‘Cause it looks like you’re about ready to pass out any moment.”

Hermione shook her head again. “I can’t…I-I don’t want to. I’ve been…I’ve been having nightmares again,” she whispered her admittance, staring through her book now more than at it.

“Do you wanna’ talk about it?” Fred asked hesitantly, remembering their conversation in the hospital wing the year before and how she’d told him about her nightmares then too.

Hermione was silent and Fred waited patiently as she mulled over his invitation.

“I’m scared,” she finally confessed, closing her book, and laying her head on his shoulder. Fred stiffened for a second, surprised by the intimate action, but then relaxed, wrapping an arm around her shoulder, and comforting her as best he could.

“To tell me about your nightmares?” he asked dumbly.

Hermione gave a small hollow laugh. “No, about everything – You-Know-Who, Harry, the war.”

“Everyone’s scared, ‘Mione. Nothing to be ashamed of.”

“Really?” questioned Hermione, lifting her head from his shoulder, and looking up at him with those large Firewhisky eyes.

“Anyone with good sense is at least. Probably why Percy’s not. He’s not speaking with mum and dad right now actually. Did Ron tell you that?” He didn’t know why he felt like that was the moment to share his family drama, but it seemed to work as a good opening up point. Hermione relaxed further into his chest.

“No. Why?”

“Well, Percy’s in full support of the Minister. Thinks Dumbledore is barmy and thinks mum and dad are equally as barmy for continuing to support him. He told them as much too. It caused a big row. Mum and dad try to play it off to the rest of us like there’s nothing to worry about, but we’re not dumb. I know they’re worried about what’s going to happen now that You-Know-Who’s back. I’ve walked in on them arguing in the kitchen a couple times already this summer.” He could still remember the seething voice of his mother and the tired expression on his father’s face before they both smiled at him, mum asking if she could get him anything.

“Dumbledore asked us not to write Harry about this place and what we’re up to. He thinks the Ministry is going to start intercepting mail.”

“Hmm,” responded Fred, not surprised by that at all.

“It feels strange to be going back to school while all of this is going on. Everyone’s always said the safest place is Hogwarts and I’ve always believed that, but it’s getting harder. I just can’t shake this horrible feeling that things are about to take a turn for the worst.”

Fred didn’t know what to say, which was odd because he usually had something to say about everything. But in that moment, he was at a loss for words – mainly because he felt the same way. He tried not to think about it, but it was always there sitting at the back of his mind. They were quiet for a while, both staring into nothing in the quiet stillness of the library. The lamps were getting low now, the light becoming dimmer as time ticked by and the oil burned down. The weight of Hermione’s head on his shoulder became heavier and he glanced down to see her eyes closed, long lashes casting shadows on her cheeks. Her lips were parted as she breathed deeply.

“Hermione,” he whispered softly, rubbing her arm, and giving her a gentle shake.

“Hmm?” she roused slightly, crinkling her nose in sleepy irritation.

“Time for bed,” Fred whispered, trying again to softly wake her.

“Just a little longer, please?” Hermione mumbled, turning her face, and snuggling into him further. Fred sighed. He was strong, but not strong enough to say no to that.

“Okay, ‘Mione. Just a few more minutes.”

The room was considerably lighter. That was the first thought Fred had upon opening his eyes and taking in the library around him. Sitting there, Hermione snuggled into his side, his own eyes had begun to droop heavily. He had closed them for only a second and then next thing he knew he was horizontal on the couch as the sun peaked through the tall, galvanized steel windows. He blinked, bringing a hand up to rub the sleep from his eyes. The weight and warmth of a second body brought him fully to consciousness and he looked down to find Hermione snuggled between the back of the couch and his side. Fred lay on his back, Hermione still tucked under his right shoulder, her arm circling his waist and head resting on his chest. Her brown tresses spread around her in a wild nest, a single loose curl tickled the underside of his chin and he brushed it aside with his free hand. Their lower halves were a tangle of legs and blanket, her shorts riding up to show bits of bare leg peaking through the afghan. It was very intimate, and Fred thanked Merlin he wasn’t sporting his usual morning salute to the day.

He should get up. It would be easy to slip from Hermione’s grasp and slide off the couch. She’d wake up alone and figure he’d gone to bed and left her there for the night. But he didn’t move. A small, selfish part of him, the same selfish part that convinced him to kiss her all those months ago, made him stay. He might not get another moment like this and he wanted to relish in how nice it felt for just a few uninterrupted seconds. His eyes traced the freckles on the bridge of Hermione’s nose and the line of her parted lips. Merlin, she was beautiful, and he was fully and entirely undeserving.

Even if he weren’t with Angelina, what would Hermione Granger want with him? She was the smartest witch of her age and he was the bloke who’d barely gotten three OWLs and planned to make jokes and pranks for a living. She was going on to change the world or something close to it. Why she even bothered to be friends with him and George he couldn’t understand half the time. He didn’t really understand what she saw in Ron either. He was barely better than him. Ron got better grades and he’d done all the same heroic stuff her and Harry had. But still, he didn’t deserve Hermione one bit either. No one did, he thought in a moment of clarity.

He sighed, trying not to focus on the way his heart clenched in his chest when Hermione tightened her grip around his middle and snuggled further into him, letting out small breathy sighs in her sleep. The moment was almost tranquil and if he had it his way, he’d lay there forever. But, as Fred found, it was usually moments like that, that were meant to broken in some of he worst possible ways.

“Well, well, well. What do we have here?”

Chapter 16>>>

Taglist:

@theworldisugly-22

@aoonai

@sjh-07-10

@is-it-madness

@i-d-e-g-a-f

#fremione #fred weasley #hermione granger #fred x hermione #slow burn #romance #fanfic #fanfiction

[halothenthehorns]

TLTNL- THE HOGWARTS HIGH INQUISITOR

"Padfoot mate, you don't really think you think," he cut himself off and went cross eyed before trying again, "I mean that Harry is-" then he stopped again for the ludicrous statement couldn't even manage to pass his lips.

Sirius watched with some distant form of amusement as James struggled to find words, a concept in itself, as he ran his fingers hard through his hair and tried to find a way to answer. "What if I do? All those stories we've heard about what happens to those in Azkaban, what makes you think that didn't happen to me after twelve years? Turning into a dog could only have saved me so much-"

"Don't," James snapped, his eyes darkening by the second. "I can't stand thinking of you like that, it's never going to happen."

"It's already happening Prongs," Sirius whispered back. "What if we can't stop this, it's all supposed to happen in less than a year! People will start going missing, and then Dumbledore's going to come around and get you and Lily to go into hiding, and I'll do it again, I swear I will, I'll hunt down that rat bastard and-"

"Think what you're saying," James snapped, fighting hard not to knock him upside the head while he did. "Future tense mate, we'll find a way to stop this happening well before then, so stop acting like it's inevitable already. You're not going to turn into that, I refuse."

Sirius still couldn't seem to take his words to heart, gazing at a picture Lily had hung up on the wall of a forest that had branches swaying in the wind, an occasional critter flipping in and out of sight. It reminded him of the Forbidden Forest, where he'd had so many happy memories, and it scared him how tainted those already were, and kept reminding him it was only going to get worse. "It's my worst nightmare come to life, I don't know how but the universe did that to me. Made me go as mad as my folks, in a different way I'll grant but all the same, and then jailing me right back there."

  "It's not going to happen," James repeated, and would keep doing so until it sunk through his thick head.

They met eyes, Sirius almost absently saying, "you have always been around to remind me of that," and then quickly flipped subjects before even the notion of this no longer existing could linger, "honestly though, I thought you were going to bring me up here to rib me for talking to Harry like that."

James snorted and rolled his eyes, forcing himself to relax as he seemed to think he'd accomplished something. "I'd be remiss if you didn't tell Harry he wasn't having enough fun in his life. I still think you should show up at Hogsmeade and show those three what we used to get up to, Harry needs more fun in his life and he's clearly not getting it from his friends."

Sirius bit at his lip as he realized Harry wasn't getting that from him either, he'd been far too consumed with his own pity party, but at James' words, he was now at least holding out hope it would come true soon.

James watched as Sirius was already starting to fall back into wallowing, and he couldn't let that stand. Sirius was usually his inspiration to start all the madness they got up to, seeing him so low now truly was doing something to him he could hardly put into words, and he desperately hoped that the next time Sirius' name came up it would be in some form of his release back into a normal life already, he'd suffered long enough for it. For now he grasped his shoulder with a tight squeeze before actually managing his old laugh back and saying, "come on now, let's see what kind of mass destruction the school causes in rebellion against whatever that stupid comment of Percy's was. Dumbledore not in charge, pfft, Fudge couldn't do any such thing."

Sirius did at least smile as he followed him back for that, any talk of setting Umbridge in the area with the twins was bound to cause a laugh, which he was hoping to hear from soon. The methods she used on Harry weren't going to hold long.

Lily and Remus were still very concerned by whatever that reaction had been, but also knew James was the best, if not the only person Sirius would get help from with it and so were plenty satisfied to see him not visibly lingering on it when they came back.

Harry most of all wanted to persist on the subject, as he felt like he'd let Sirius down in some way, but when his godfather flopped down beside him with a normal smile in place Harry just couldn't bring himself to mess it all up again when his dad had clearly seemed to comfort him about it. So as James picked up the book and began, they were all feeling almost slightly hopeful again this was all going to somehow work out.

They'd expected to have to comb the paper to find this mysterious article, but instead it was right on the front page, with a very large shot of Umbridge accompanying it.

"Urgh, as if you don't get enough of that around the castle, now you've got closeups," James crinkled his nose in disgust.

The title read the woman's new position as High Inquisitor.

"Why do I already have a bad feeling about whatever the hell that made up title is?" Remus sighed.

"You've got good instincts," Harry's eyes were already narrowed with dislike.

Harry asked what that could mean, as Hermione began reading the article about the Ministry passing new legislation giving itself new levels of control inside Hogwarts.

James struggled to understand even the first sentence! What did that mean, the Ministry had control over their school?

Lily had her lips very tightly pursed as her mind flew through the ramifications of that. Hogwarts had always been of its own body and under the guide of the current Headmaster. This had allowed for a lot of free will inside the school outside of Ministry influence which many considered a good thing, as it left the children to grow up and form their own opinions of what they thought were right and wrong. Now their own government was more than actively stepping in as more than just a substitute teacher role? Just what the hell was Umbridge going to have these students doing? Aside from torturing them!

James looked to his friends like he was hoping for some kind of clarification from them, but both seemed just as confounded by the idea.

The Minister had been growing uneasy about the goings-on of the school for a while, says Junior Minister Percy Weasley.

"Did they have to post his title? I find that entirely unnecessary as of course his Junior would agree with him," Sirius scoffed.

"I just wish they hadn't said his last name, marks a bad light on all the Weasleys," Remus rolled his eyes for poor Arthur and his reaction to further seeing his son agreeing with all this.

Minister Fudge is now responding to the concerns from anxious parents who were concerned of the direction the school was moving in.

"Then they should talk to the Headmaster, and deal with this in house as it's always been," Lily stated absently, still trying to wrap her head around how this abrupt change had just sprung up overnight and it was entirely allowed.

This was not the first time Fudge had been seen influencing the school of late, as of the end of August he'd also enacted Educational Decree Number Twenty-two, giving the Ministry power to elect a teacher at the school should the Headmaster or mistress not find a candidate.

"Oh that's even better, they've been at this since the summer," James said in exasperation, already a spiel of comments he could imagine his parents saying if they'd heard about this.

Weasley continued speaking about how this was how Umbridge had begun her time there, and she was an immediate success-

"Let's put Percy in detention with her and see how long he holds that," Harry said grimly as he rubbed absently at the back of his hand.

"He'd have to be set up to be put in there, and even then I'll bet he could kiss her arse out of it," Sirius growled, perhaps even more darkly than he should have just for having to watch Harry do that.

Harry cut in there to protest the absurdity of that statement, but Hermione shushed him and kept reading about Percy saying she was revolutionizing the teaching of Defence Against the Dark Arts.

"By not teaching them! Yeah, I'd say that's revolutionary!" Remus balked at the absurdity.

The success of this function lead into current Educational Decree Number twenty-three, the creation of the High Inquisitor. A position that allowed the Ministry to evaluate the teachers on premises and make sure they were up to scratch to be teaching future youths. Professor Umbridge had delightfully accepted this role along with her teacher's position.

Lily had to swallow a bitter taint as she almost realized what a good idea that could have been coming from anyone else. Abysmal teachers like Lockhart and Snape wouldn't have been a problem then...but that's not what this job was really doing, and she knew it full well, so didn't bother speaking it.

These new transitions had received much support from parents who had children attending school.

"I do not believe that," James scoffed. "If my folks had heard the Ministry was weaseling around inside Hogwarts they'd have thrown a fit. They never have before and they're just suddenly doing it now after they've spent the summer campaigning what a mentally unstable person Dumbledore was? That doesn't seem the least bit suspicious it's all happening at the same time?"

Lucius Malfoy being quoted as saying his mind was much more at ease knowing Dumbledore was being put under evaluation.

"Ah, well at least that support suddenly made sense," Remus scowled.

The paper continues in saying this was something that should have long since been done considering the controversial appointments over the last few years, including half-giant Rubeus Hagrid, a delusional ex-Auror known as Alastor, Mady-Eye, Moody, and the werewolf Remus Lupin.

Remus suddenly felt such a sharp twist of fear in him he retched on the spot and felt lucky he didn't vomit. He'd never been afraid of attention before, unavoidable when you made friends with James and Sirius, but the fact that his name was actually being thrown out like that honestly made him question how he was even still alive. After all, the last werewolf that had ended up in the papers had a hole hunt formed around him-

Sirius gently cut off this train of thought by smacking Remus upside the head and saying, "knock it off Moony, if they haven't done anything to you before now they're not going to suddenly start just because the Ministry is pushing in. You're long gone, clearly not making a bid to come back, and Dumbledore's got you doing that shitty arse underground work that leaves you so far off the radar anyways it's a miracle if you'll even be reading this."

Remus almost found the comfort somewhere in there, at least his body stopped trying to throw up.

Harry was honestly curious enough to interrupt what this mysterious underground work was. He'd long since gathered it had something to do with Remus staying in contact with other werewolves, but he still longed for details he decided against asking even now because it was such a touchy subject for the poor guy.

Others were not as enthusiastic about these changes, two of the Wizengamot had quit in protest of this.

"While I applaud them," Lily nodded sadly, "but it's almost a backfire on them as well, for the same reason Tonks and Arthur haven't quit their post yet. They do more good holding their tongue and staying on the inside."

"That method ceases being useful when it's all you end up doing," James scowled, though at Harry for holding his tongue far too often.

One being quoted as saying that was a school, not the next outpost for Fudge, this was only further attempts to discredit Dumbledore.

Sirius gave a merry little applause for that bit at least, thankful that this had been put into the paper at all the way it was running lately.

The article ended then with the ominous comment how one of those who had quit had details of goblin subservice groups on a separate page. Hermione said at least now they had their reason of Umbridge being here, and now she could go and inspect all of their teachers? This was outrageous!

Harry agreed with his fist tightly clenched, the words etched into his hand already a dull white instead of having vanished.

James saw red as he realized four days had already been enough to put that mark into his skin. Years later and it was still there. None of them had the delusion this wasn't going to happen to Harry again, and he doubted he could read through it without screaming some more no matter how little good it would do.

But a grin was unfurling on Ron's face.

"I immediately like where his thoughts went," Sirius piped up at once as the same grin appeared, thinking of that foul toad trying to inspect someone like McGonagall and blissfully aware who was going to come up on top.

They asked what he found to smile about, and he said he couldn't wait for Umbridge to inspect McGonagall, the toad wouldn't know what hit her.

The others caught on as well, and now they were all grinning in anticipation of watching McGonagall have a thing or two to say to that pitiful excuse for a teacher.

Hermione stopped the conversation then by getting to her feet and reminding they had History of Magic. Harry was surprised when he didn't find Umbridge in there to inspect the lesson.

"What are the odds she won't be inspecting any of the ones Harry's in?" Remus said without a trace of hope.

"Non existent," James said without looking up.

Nor was she in potions, where Harry was given back his essay with a D for a grade.

"I find it an actual miracle he didn't just flat give you a T," Sirius rolled his eyes.

Once all the assignments had been handed back, Snape gave a speech at the front saying he'd graded these as if they had been OWL finals, and hoped to see better improvement over all, or he would start handing out detentions to the dunces that got d's.

Lily almost felt a twitch appear on her lips again at his alliterations, he'd always gotten a giggle out of her when he did this, but she forced herself not to react.

Malfoy snickered loudly that someone had gotten so low a grade.

"I'm guessing he gave you an O after you cheated off of someone else's," James rolled his eyes.

"Or paid another student to do it," Sirius agreed.

Harry saw Hermione looking sideways at his and he quickly stuffed it out of sight before she could see.

"Why bother?" Remus asked curiously.

"I can already hear the lecture she'd give about how I should have tried harder or some nonsense," Harry sighed.

Lily frowned at him for that, wishing he would try harder in this class even if he did hate the teacher, but at least holding herself back.

Determined not to give Snape a reason to ruin this attempt, Harry carefully studied every line of instructions today before brewing his potion. It was still a bit more runny and not quite the right shade of turquoise like Hermione's, but he handed it in with the satisfaction Snape couldn't say anything about it with mingled defiance and relief.

"I commend you, considering at some point I'd have just chucked the cauldron in his face," James snorted.

Hermione began babbling at once about OWL grades as they left for lunch, saying while she hadn't expected the top grade,

"I don't actually believe that," Remus snorted, "I can already imagine her near the end of this crying every five seconds if she doesn't get all O's."

even a pass at this stage was encouraging.

Neither boy responded, so she kept going on about how they now had time to improve, these grades were the baseline for their future-

"Is she going to keep going with this?" James groaned as he eyed the pages with misery. He'd been starting this thinking of more Umbridge carnage, but instead he'd been suffering through some OWL memories he'd have rather forgotten.

Ron finally cut her off if she wanted to know their grades, she should just ask them.

Hermione feigned surprise at the question, but finally did ask.

Ron said he'd got a P, while Fred popped up then to say there was nothing wrong with a good healthy P.

"Err, doesn't P mean-"

"Poor, yeah," Sirius said with chipper, "only one letter off from acceptable, so really they're not wrong."

Hermione was surprised at this statement, as P stood for Poor?

Lee agreed, then said at least it was better than D for Dreadful.

"I always thought it stood for Dunderhead," James grinned.

"Stop naming things after yourself James," Remus quipped.

Harry did not enter the conversation, but Hermione was still in full swing.

"This is most likely going to be an ongoing topic until next year, when she'll move onto complaining about her NEWT grades two years too early," Sirius groaned.

Hermione kept going saying the passing grades were O for outstanding, then A-

Though Fred corrected her E came next,

James gasped wildly, and then frantically prodded the page with his wand as if insisting to find a flaw.

"What do you mean Hermione doesn't know all these by heart?" Sirius agreed mildly. "The way she was obsessing over them, even having done some pre exams last year, you'd really think she'd know that."

"I'm actually quite sure she only took note of what the top grade was and didn't care about the others," Remus rolled his eyes.

for Exceeds Expectations. Personally he thought he and his twin should have gotten E's on everything, considering they exceeded expectations just by showing up.

Causing all five of them to giggle.

They all laughed except Hermione,

"Why is that a recurring thing, it always makes me sad," Lily sighed.

"Someone needs to tell her she's getting a T for her sense of humor, see if she lightens up any then," James agreed.

who ignored him and agreed then it was A for acceptable, and that was the last passing grade.

Ron mock celebrated then you could get a P, then D, while George finished with T, for troll.

Harry laughed unexpectedly, then looked around and realized that while they were smiling, he realized it was at his reaction, and he blinked in shock.

Harry laughed again, though he was not sure whether or not George was joking.

"Nope," Sirius grinned, "though I don't understand why they'd want to give you a letter grade that would make someone think, well that's better than B for Blast-Ended Skrewt."

"You're an idiot," Remus rolled his eyes.

He imagined end of year and getting T's on all his grades, and immediately resolved to do better on his work.

"Whatever gets you through it love," Lily grinned as the thought had never crossed her mind Harry would do any such thing. Even while being at his breaking point he'd still been putting effort into his homework, there was just no way he'd do so poorly on all his exams if he just tried a little harder.

Fred asked if they'd had an inspected lesson yet, because they just had in Charms.

George agreed she'd just sat in the back of the class making notes the whole time, and Flitwick was perfectly polite to her of course. Then near the end she went around asking them some questions on the subject.

Fred asked who they had for their afternoon classes and when Harry started with Trelawney, Fred agreed a T if ever there was one.

Causing them all to snort with laughter as they suddenly imagined the wonderful idea of if the twins had taken her class and the mayhem that could have been.

Then Umbridge herself.

George warned Harry about minding his manners then, because Angelina would do him in if he missed any more Quidditch practice.

"Because that's the important part," James said grimly as his eyes flashed protectively to his son again, wondering if it was possible Umbridge's detentions could somehow get worse if she realized Harry wasn't going to take her message.

Harry didn't have to wait for his last class to see Umbridge again though. As they were taking their seats inside Divination, a sudden hush went over the room as Umbridge entered, causing Trelawney to look around as Umbridge greeted her.

Lily felt an interesting struggle taking place in her mind. She'd disliked Trelawney from the instant she'd been introduced because of insisting her son was to die, which would set any mother on edge. Yet she hated Umbridge quantifiably worse for actually hurting her baby. She wasn't really sure what she wanted to see happen here, but she wouldn't deny she was listening just as curiously as the others.

She began by asking if she'd received the note Umbridge had sent about the date and time of this inspection?

Trelawney went stiff, nodded without response, and then spoke to the class as if she wasn't there that they would continue looking through their dreams.

"Can't deny I'm already intrigued," Remus said grudgingly. "Trelawney shouldn't have had much to do with her before now considering how rarely she leaves her own tower, which means her ire with this woman must come from something we haven't seen yet."

"Maybe just from students like Parvati and Lavender who might have talked about her," Sirius offered without much thought, but immediately corrected himself when he realized, "but they haven't exactly gone out of their way disliking Umbridge themselves yet either."

"I'm sure it's just the insult of her class being inspected," James snorted.

They divided into pairs and Trelawney went to take her seat, realized Umbridge was standing right behind it, and instead began circling the class.

Harry quickly made up a dream on the spot about how he'd drowned Snape in his cauldron.

"They say dreams are where you live out your fantasies," Sirius snickered.

Ron snickered as he went to work on this, saying you were supposed to add age to the date of the dream, plus the number of letters in the subject, before asking if that was drowning, cauldron, or Snape?

"Drowning, isn't it? The other two are nouns," Remus said absently.

"Nouns can be the subject," Lily shrugged, "it depends on verb usage and-"*

"Please, this is why I was grateful Hogwarts never subjected us to Muggle classes, don't start on things I don't care about," Sirius groaned.

Harry couldn't care less about the answer as Ron went to work while Harry eavesdropped on Umbridge catching up to Trelawney and beginning to ask her some questions, such as how long she'd been in this position?

Trelawney regarded her for a moment before deeming the question worthy of the answer sixteen years.

Harry felt a sudden whack at the base of his skull for some unknown reason, absently reaching up and brushing at the back of his head as if to make sure it was still attached but ultimately ignoring the sensation.

Then Umbridge asked that Dumbledore had appointed her himself?

Though it was getting harder by the moment as Umbridge's questions really were starting to dig something out of the base of his skull that was beginning to build up quite a bit of pressure...

Trelawney kept up her curt replies as Umbridge then asked that she was the great-great-granddaughter of the renowned Seer Cassandra Trelawney?

Remus felt an odd smile flicker across his face as some old Greek myth came to mind about the Seer Cassandra who nobody believed truly was one, but he didn't point this out to the others for once as he was more invested hearing about this.

But she was the first in her family line to have inherited the gift of Second Sight?

Trelawney had to hesitate for a moment before saying these things tended to skip, err, three generations.

"Was the pause because she had to think about it and count that on the spot?" James mocked.

Umbridge was clearly not impressed as she made a few notes of this, and then looked on and asked for a prediction to be made.

Trelawney was outraged at once, saying the Inner Eye did not See upon command!

James was almost amused by this, as normally Trelawney spat out so many predictions in a lesson you couldn't shut the woman up. Now Umbridge was asking for one, and that was offensive?

Umbridge shrugged with indifference as she went to make a note of this, but then Trelawney wildly switched to grasping at the pink cardigan, apparently overcome with the fear of what she was seeing, a dark peril looming...

"I think she made herself worse by doing that," Sirius sighed. "Should have just stuck with the first thing she said, then later and a lot more randomly spouted something at least generally more threatening than that generic mess."

Dolores Umbridge was in grave danger!

Umbridge raised an unimpressed brow and ticked off something before saying that would be all.

Lily actually had to catch herself to stop from laughing. Even knowing Trelawney was a true Seer still didn't make this waffle intimidating in the least, but she despised Umbridge too much to agree with her on any level so she held it in.

She turned away and began asking some students questions, while Trelawney stalked over to Harry and snatched his dream diary away, proclaiming in a carrying voice for all to hear that even his most mundane dreams were filled with fortunes of his death.

"Yeah, there it is," James said tartly, least she could always fall back on that one, though how she managed to make that less believable every time was an actual achievement on some level.

Harry was having a hard time feeling sympathy for her during this, and when they were finally released and entered Umbridge's own class, the woman was humming.

"Urgh, having to listening to croaking all lesson, I'd rather live with a cicada," Sirius rubbed at his ears in thought.

They took their seats in the back and pulled out their books, while the teacher instructed those hopeful few who'd left their wands out not to do this very thing.

"I'm not sure if that's ignorance or delusions," Remus sighed.

They were to begin chapter two now.

Still smiling to herself, she set about some papers on her desk. Harry began flipping mindlessly through until the thought occurred to him if there were enough chapters to keep this going all year, and he was just flipping to check on that when he noticed Hermione's hand raised again.

"So were there?" Lily asked.

"Don't know, never checked," Harry shrugged.

"Even if there weren't, I'm honestly wondering if she'd have just made you reread it from the start or something," Remus rolled his eyes.

Umbridge took a different approach this time and approached her instead, bending down on her level as Hermione told she'd already read chapter two.

When Umbridge told her to go on to the next one then, Hermione stated she'd read the whole book.

"Man I wish I was more surprised, actually I'm just sad for the wasted time," James sighed.

Umbridge looked mildly surprised as she then asked Hermione what the author had said about counter-jinxes in chapter fifteen then?

Hermione gave the accurate answer at once, and Harry saw Umbridge was impressed against her will.

"People get that a lot around her it seems," Sirius mused, he didn't always like Hermione either, but she never failed to impress him with her knowledge at least.

Hermione kept going though, that she did not agree with Mr. Slinkhards interpretation of counter-jinxes and his statement they were only used as another form of jinx-

Umbridge cut her off this wasn't up for discussion.

"That was already established," Lily cocked her head to the side as she tried to understand, "what was the goal of her doing this?"

James shushed her and read quickly to find out, if anyone could find a way to push Umbridge's buttons and make something interesting happen in that class, he'd bet on Hermione.

Hermione tried to say something else, but Umbridge cut her off by taking five points from their house, while Harry demanded what for? Ignoring Hermione's warning for him not to get involved.

"She is sitting right next to you when she started this," Remus rolled his eyes, "don't tell me she really thinks you'd stay out of it."

Umbridge gave the answer for disrupting class pointlessly.

"She simply asked a question of what she was supposed to do now she's done with the work," Sirius tried for an innocent tone, ineffective as he wasn't likely to receive an answer for that anymore than Hermione.

She was going to teach them a Ministry-approved method that did not include inviting students to give opinions on things they didn't understand.

"Every bit of that was the most ludicrous thing I've yet heard her say," Remus said faintly.

"I particularly like the part they're not supposed to have opinions on what's being 'taught'," Sirius sneered.

"She read the whole book, how can she still try to make that claim!" Lily demanded.

"I'm beginning to wonder if there's something conceded about her," James said deadpan.

Their previous teachers, with the exception of Quirrell, would never have passed an inspection-

Harry cut off Quirrell had been great, except the fact that he'd had Voldemort's head sticking out of the back of his own.

"I'm actually wondering how many of the students knew that at the end of the year anyways," Remus suddenly blinked in surprise.

"Not the point," Harry grumbled.

Umbridge hardly acknowledge what he'd said except to give him another week of detentions.

Lily made a guttural, maddening noise of frustration for Harry suffering through that all over again, and she vented on the only person available. "Harry James, stop antagonizing her! It's clearly done you no good, after multiple people have warned you to stop, and you are suffering more consequences than doing any good!"

Harry flushed with anger for a moment, considered snapping back he was doing more good than anyone else was even bothering to try, but then considered the fact that snapping at her would achieve nothing. His mother was simply angry with the situation and he did not want to start yelling at them like he had been his friends in the past, so he simply held his tongue and nodded absently, also failing to mention whatever he did he couldn't go back and stop himself from doing it here now could he.

The first consequences of this came up at dinner that night, where Fred's prediction came true at once and Angelina caused such a racket with her yelling at him over having to miss another practice that McGonagall swopped in and interceded, taking points away at once for all the noise in the middle of the Great Hall. Several Ravenclaws at the table behind were still watching the show.**

Angelina wasn't deterred, saying he deserved it for another detention ruining her regime.

McGonagall turned sharp eyes on Potter, demanding who this detention was from, and very clearly displeased at the answer as she took another five points away.

"Who takes away house points after you find out someone has detention?" James demanded in outrage. "What's McGonagall playing at, he's already suffering enough for this!"

"I guess she did warn him not to continue messing with her," Remus sighed, "this is her way of punishing him for disobeying her as well."

"That did not make this feel better," Sirius scowled.

Harry tried to protest he was already being punished enough, but McGonagall wouldn't hear it, claiming detentions didn't seem to work on him so maybe this would.

"The worst part is she doesn't even know what's going on in those detentions," Lily groaned miserably, just begging for the sharp eyed woman to spot Harry's hand and raise hell for it any day now.

She warned them both to confine the shouting to the pitch before departing.

"I do love how she says confine shouting at Harry, not stop it," Sirius muttered.

Harry slammed into his seat beside Ron in a fuming mess as he demanded how it was fair he was getting his hand sliced open and losing points?!

"Maybe she wouldn't if she knew that part," James seethed.

Ron was sympathetic for him, saying she was out of order with that one.

"Are we really the only ones insisting on how dumb it is you haven't mentioned this," Lily demanded. "What about Hermione?"

"Still haven't told her yet either," Harry muttered as he shifted uneasily in his seat, still wishing this would stop being mentioned all together.

Hermione, however, merely rustled the pages of her Daily Prophet and said nothing.

"So she does know?" Remus yelped at this glossed over development.

"I guess Ron did tell her at some point," Harry blinked in surprise, he'd been too angry to realize what he was saying to whom at the time. "Honestly I'm just happy she didn't give me another go to Dumbledore speech, so I'm grateful I wasn't around when she did find out."

Nobody agreed with him, though clearly repetition wasn't doing any good regardless.

Harry snapped at her that he thought their head of house was in the right then?

Hermione answered cooly that she wished Harry wouldn't get points taken away, but she also wished he'd stop losing his temper around Umbridge.

"Hermione was the one who started the last two fights!" Sirius couldn't help but defend. "Harry more than likely would have sat in the back of the class and not said a word if it wasn't for her."

"You can't blame Harry's action on what Hermione decides to do," Lily scolded.

"Doesn't help one of his mates isn't trying to fix this problem either," Remus shrugged.

Harry did not speak to Hermione all through their next class, but all memory of the fight evaporated when he walked into Transfiguration and first spotted Umbridge instead of McGonagall.

James actually began wriggling in place in sudden excitement. If he'd put money on anyone giving that toad a run for her galleons it would be McGonagall, there was no way she could push her around like she just had to Trelawney.

The three watched almost eagerly as class began, McGonagall acting as if the extra woman wasn't even there as she instructed Dean to pass out homework, and Lavender to start handing out mice, and warning that vertebrate animals were much harder to-

Harry was distracted as he got his work back and saw he'd made an A.

"And that was with the minimal effort," James applauded, while Lily rolled her eyes at him even if she did agree.

Dean took his seat and mouse and was at once scolded for doing something to it that would wind him up in detention-

"What'd he do?" James demanded on the same breath as he'd finished.

"He was trying to place it on Parvati's shoulder," Harry shrugged.

"Less inventive than I was hoping," Remus sighed.

While Umbridge used the same, hem, hem, cough to try and get attention.

McGonagall turned cold eyes on her as Umbridge began that McGonagall had received the date and time of her inspec-

McGonagall coolly cut across of course she had, otherwise she'd be wondering why the woman was here.

James made a little squee noise when he was done with that response while Sirius was already full blown laughing, he knew McGonagall was his favorite teacher for a reason!

Harry and Remus shared a triumphant smile while Lily said impatiently, "James if you don't keep going, I will," though her eyes were sparkling with their own amusement for their old head of house.

James clutched the book to him protectively as he kept going with glee.

Then she kept going as if nothing had happened, even though Umbridge did the same act again not moments later.

McGonagall didn't even face her this time as she said sharply how Umbridge expected to get an idea of her teaching methods if she kept being interrupted, as she did not permit others to talk while she was.

James couldn't do it though, he immediately burst out laughing again, and this time Lily couldn't deny joining in. This was hardly the fiery pit they wanted to toss Umbridge into for what she'd done to Harry, but even seeing someone hold their own against her in this way was the most satisfying thing that had happened so far!

Umbridge looked as if she'd been slapped, before hastily turning to a fresh page and scribbling furiously.

"I would pay anything to get my hands on those notes," Sirius' grin was slipping past amusement right into evil. "See just what her version of, I need a burn healing charm looks like."

Looking supremely unconcerned, Professor McGonagall addressed the class once more.

Harry wasn't paying much attention to her warnings of the complexity of the larger the animal the harder it was to vanish, he was to busy whispering to his friends how she could get onto him about losing his temper when she wasn't acting much better. There was no anger though, as he grinned at McGonagall, all anger forgotten.

"Technically McGonagall hasn't gained a detention yet, so she's still doing better than you," Sirius smirked even as he was leaning forward eagerly to hear more of this.

At the end of the lesson, Ron was putting away only a wriggling tail,

"It is indeed a good mark he's already got the larger portion of the body by the end of the first day," James agreed absently, his eyes still eagerly hoping for more between Umbridge and McGonagall.

as they began to file out, but hung back when they realized Umbridge was going up to talk to McGonagall. She asked only one question, of how long she'd been at this post?

McGonagall said thirty-nine years in December.

Umbridge jotted this down before saying she'd receive her results in ten days.

McGonagall gave the curt reply of how she couldn't wait as she swept away.

"She really shouldn't act so thrilled, sets a bad impression," Remus snorted.

She barked at the three lingering at the door to get a move on, but Harry swore she smiled as she passed.

"Favorite teacher," James repeated warmly, hoping that would leave some kind of impact on Harry in Umbridge's next class. He wasn't the only one defying Umbridge.

Harry sadly turned up at his next class only to find Umbridge there again, already talking to Grubbly-Plank. She was being asked that this was not her standard position, to which the sub agreed she was only standing in for Professor Hagrid.

"I don't think anyone's yet called him that," Sirius' face crinkled as that registered.

"Does sound kind of weird, even if it is appropriate," Remus agreed.

Harry's spirits sunk as he watched Malfoy approaching as well, knowing he'd love nothing more than to gossip about Hagrid strait to the Ministry.

"He's already been doing that, surely he can't do even worse damage," Lily said with unease even she didn't believe.

Umbridge then asked if Grubbly-Plank knew anything of Hagrid's absence, but the woman was bare on the subject, saying she'd simply been asked to fill in for an unspecified time, she'd agreed, and here they were.

Umbridge waved for her to start the class then, and they continued their work on bowtruckles as Umbridge went around the class and began asking students about magical creatures, to which no one gave a flawed answer. Harry at least felt hopeful none of them were letting Hagrid down.

Remus couldn't help but wince for that, thinking that was far more likely luck depending on the questions she was asking.

Then Umbridge circled back to Grubbly-Plank, asking how a new staff member felt here? Supported, or more ostracized from the everyday crowd.

Grubbly-Plank gave the simple answer she'd always felt welcomed here, never had a problem.

Umbridge looked politely incredulous,

"That she's the only one being treated like scum? Can't imagine why that would be," Sirius snorted.

"I'm sure that's a look," James snorted, his liking for Grubbly-Plank going up somewhat. Sure she was having to stand in for Hagrid, but at least she wasn't going behind his back and trying to rub up to Umbridge, he could respect that.

She then switched to asking of reports she had from injuries in this class, but Malfoy enthusiastically stepped in then, saying that was done to him, he was attacked by a hippogriff.

"At his own stupidity," James emphasized. "Everyone seems to skip that bit!"

Umbridge began almost happily jotting this down, while Harry shouted over at them it was because Malfoy was being too stupid to listen to Hagrid before it happened.

"Oh, thank you Harry," James groaned, that hadn't been what he meant at all.

Harry shrugged without remorse.

Umbridge turned a pleased smile on him as she gave him another week of detentions.

"What was that one even for?" Lily all but screeched. "Doesn't she still have to give a reason!"

Baby Harry began squirming in unease underneath his toy so she forced herself not to keep going while James pushed on, mostly because the answer was no, that woman didn't have to give a reason to anyone about anything she did. It was becoming quite clear that was the scariest part of all to look forward to.

That evening, despite the late hour, Harry did not return to the common room empty this time, but found Ron and Hermione waiting up for him. Hermione seemed anxious at his visage as she pushed a yellow bowl towards him, telling him it was essence of murtlap and it would help.

Harry wasn't quite sure what that was, but when he put his hand, that was bleeding freely, into it it soothed the pain at once.

Ron still tried to push Harry should tell someone about this, McGonagall would do something, but Harry still wouldn't hear it, pointing out next thing they knew there'd be a decree that the person who questioned Umbridge would get fired.

"That would still cause enough of a stir in the community for it to be relevant and absolutely worth it," James tried to keep his voice even as he explained to Harry. "McGonagall's tough as they come, even if she did have to leave for a time she'd be right back the next day because Dumbledore would never let that stand, and he'd have support from those realizing how ludicrous this all is getting."

"Please tell me you've been seeing reports in the Daily Prophet about more people saying what a problem this is," Lily agreed.

Harry just shrugged though, Hermione only passed along very certain things, and she hadn't said anything about this. If the wider wizarding world did care about what was going on, he wasn't hearing about it.

Ron tried to think of some way to argue, but then closed his mouth back.

Hermione hissed what an awful woman she was, they really should do something about her.

"Tie her to the Whomping Willow?" Sirius suggested at once.

"Transfigure her into a cat and introduce her to Fang?" James smirked.

"Introduce her to the mermaids of the Black Lake," Remus said just a touch bitterly.

"See how long she could survive in the Forbidden Forest," Harry envisioned the fun.

"Poison?" Lily couldn't seem to stop herself tacking in much to all the boys amusement.

Ron had suggested poison,

"Ha!" Lily pumped a fist in triumph, "two against you lot!"

"That's fair," Sirius miraculously gave in.

"Can it at least be a slow acting one?" James contended.

"I can work that," Lily agreed.

but Hermione said she'd meant something more practical about her horrid teaching habits, how they weren't learning any Defence this year.

"Well I mean, she's not wrong," Remus snorted.

"Yet I don't really see how that's so different from your first two years either," Sirius sighed.

Ron couldn't see a way around this, she had the job and that clearly wasn't changing any time soon.

"At least until the end of the year," Lily still looked for that bright spot.

Hermione shot Harry a nervous look before beginning to tell what she was thinking today,

"Should I be worried that's how this is starting?" James looked bemused as he kept going.

that they should just learn DADA themselves.

"That's really not that far fetched an idea," Remus shrugged, "we had to do it a few years as well. Our teachers never got to the level of trying to kill us mind you, but they weren't all stellar either."

"I don't know, remember Novak? Considering how many spells he used backfired on himself, I think at some point that counts as attempted murder when he still encouraged us to trust him," Lily shrugged.

Ron scoffed at the idea of doing more extra homework, they were already behind as is.

Hermione said this was more important than homework.

"Hang on," Sirius mimed cleaning out his ears, "alright read that bit again."

James ignored him.

The boys goggled at her saying such blasphemy, Ron insisting she'd always said homework was the most important thing in the universe!

Hermione brushed them off for being silly,

"She had yet to say otherwise," Harry rubbed at his ear at all her remembered lectures.

stating this was about learning to defend themselves from what was out there.

Harry looked honestly bemused Hermione had taken his words to heart like that, no matter how much he still vouched for them being true.

Ron still wasn't on the idea, saying sure they could look up jinxes and practice them, but-

"Just like you did at the end of last year," James agreed, "that seemed to help you out loads, even with a competent if murderous teacher."

but Hermione said it would be all the better if they had a teacher, someone who already knew a boat load of spells and could correct them if they were doing it wrong.

Harry began if she was talking about Lupin,

"Naw, you're the first teacher he thought of Moony," Sirius chuckled.

"Shut up Padfoot," Remus said around a smile.

but Hermione at once said that wouldn't work, he couldn't come around often enough to be of help.

"Not with that Umbridge woman about anyways," Lily said grimly, as it had honestly been a good idea for a moment for Dumbledore to summon him to the castle at his random choosing, and just incidentally running into Harry and his friends, for a few hours, no one in the school would really question that too much if it had worked out that way. That pink frosted lump of dragon dung though would put a wrench into anything like that.

Harry couldn't imagine who else she was talking about, but then she said him of course.

Harry looked at his dad in bewilderment, before looking at the other three who all looked just as surprised at the answer as him to his relief.

"Honestly, for a moment there I thought she was leading up to herself," James snorted.

"I mean, I suppose she's not got the wrong idea," Lily pulled gently on a strand of hair as she thought about it, "but no offense love, I haven't really seen you with the patience yet to be teaching anyone much."

"Ron was better at teaching you chess than you were explaining how a phone worked," Sirius snorted in agreement.

"Oh stop picking on him," Remus scolded, though Harry hardly looked offended, he still had a politely puzzled expression on his face like he was still nursing the idea and had hardly heard them. "I don't find it a bad idea at all, Harry was the only thirteen year old I've ever seen to manage a Patronus, even you two hadn't managed that until fifth year to find out what you were going to turn into only a few months later. If Harry could master that, I'm sure passing that knowledge along wouldn't be much of a challenge."

"There's a difference between being a good student and being as good a teacher," Sirius shrugged, but he backed down altogether as Harry was starting to look a little hurt they were still giggling more than anything at the idea.

James kept himself going in hopes Hermione would come to some conclusion this should be more a group effort between the three than Harry starting secret lessons to teach these two anything.

Harry was stunned at the idea, turning to Ron for some backup, but he seemed just as keen on this as Hermione now she'd pointed it out.

Harry began laughing it off, saying what good would he do, while Hermione said in exasperation to think of all he'd done.

"Really Harry, you apparently spent all summer complaining about this bit, but you need this part explained," James rolled his eyes.

When Harry still didn't get their meaning, Ron started to laugh he didn't want someone this stupid teaching him, before beginning loudly of all his accomplishments, like second year killing the Basilisk and Riddle.

Harry tried to interrupt that had been Fawkes and-

"I really am loving the reverse of this conversation," Sirius gave a forced smile. "How are you the one saying you shouldn't get credit for doing this now, when it was you shouting at them you did all this single handedly to them at that house?"

Harry was scarlet by now, both from remembered shock of his friends throwing this at him, and how true that comment was that put on the spot he still didn't want to admit all the things he'd done no matter how angry he'd been he'd felt ignored.

"Can't have it both ways," Lily told him gently as she seemed to read his mind.

Ron completely ignored him and was still going on, coming up with fourth year and everything he'd done there as well, he and Hermione were smirking by the end as Harry felt his temper rising, he wasn't even sure where the anger was coming from.

"Actually neither am I," James frowned lightly from the book to Harry now. "At most they're still pulling your leg, what's the anger for?"

Harry brushed at his scar without comment, a deep look in his eyes that shot a thrill of fear through James instantly promising him he actually didn't want to know the answer, so he quickly moved on.

He began telling them how he'd blundered through all that, not because he was any good at Defence, he'd always had help and- stop laughing at him!

Remus let out a low whistle of surprise as he told Harry, "when you get angry, you really ramp yourself right to the top at once."

"Harry doesn't do anything halfway," Sirius said halfheartedly, Harry leaning back into the couch looking miserable he'd been caught shouting at them again, and they hadn't done anything even remotely close to deserving it this time.

He lunged to his feet so fast he knocked the essence of murtlap away, now practically shouting at them they didn't understand, none of that had been skill when he'd fought Voldemort, that Cedric had been just as good as him and he'd died so if they were insinuating he'd messed up and Harry had somehow done something better-

James had winced at every blow Harry dealt his friends, of all the pain and fear his son had suffered without anyone there to help, how even hearing it first hand hadn't quite left them with the reality Harry had lived through. To them it was all in a distant future, something they hoped never had to happen to him and so without underplaying the events happening they kept pushing past these terrible moments because it would ultimately help him to remember them just to find a way he'd never have to live through them. Most of all, James wanted more than anything for Harry never to have to witness what had happened in that graveyard, to Cedric.

Ron looked aghast Harry had come to the conclusion they were having a go at Cedric.

Harry was aware, and very grateful no one had snapped at him for this in here. He distantly saw himself doing these things, pushed into this uncontrollable anger from something he didn't understand, but one truth stood out his friends would never insinuate any such thing, so he was grateful for the silence ringing in here.

Hermione was near tears now as she insisted this was exactly the reason they needed to learn, he was the only one who had ever faced V-Voldemort.

"Well there's a distraction if ever there was one," Sirius blinked slowly to refocus off of Harry's anger, how everything he'd said had been all too real.

It was the first time Hermione had ever said Voldemort's name, and for some reason this calmed Harry. He sat back in his seat, his hand now throbbing worse than ever and gazed at the broken glass and essence of Murtlap now seeping into the carpet.

Hermione got her feet as if to go to bed, quietly asking him to just think about it.

Lily opened her mouth, wanting to say something in comfort as well as push for a change of subject, but Harry was still looking miserable and rubbing hard at his scar again, so she was afraid to push him while he was too vulnerable.

Harry nodded silent agreement now as she went off to bed, Ron following suit. Harry repaired the bowl with a quick spell, but could do nothing for more medicine for his hand.

"Wonder how she got hold of that," Sirius happily shot off, as always just looking for something to say in the awkward silence.

"She's too proud asking the house-elves for a batch," Remus played along, "I more imagine she might have asked Madam Pomfrey for some, given a vague reason as to why she wanted it."

"I'll buy that," Sirius said, looking hopefully at Harry like he was hoping for confirmation, but even if he had ever bothered to ask Harry spoke nothing for or against the idea.

He was more exhausted now than when he'd stepped in, but still he forced himself to climb up the stairs rather than sleeping in the common room, and had another restless night of dreams full of locked corridors, and waking to his scar prickling again.

Harry twitched harder than ever in his seat, his eyes swimming with pain as he yearned to understand how it all fit together, and terrified of learning the answer.

HPHPHPHPHP

I probably came off pretty anti-government in this chapter, and I swear I'm not actually trying to whip up a rebellion and start an anarchy, I just always found it really extreme that clearly since it's conception Hogwarts seemed to have stood as it's own body, but suddenly the government was stepping in and causing a ton of reforms, and the public seems generally okay with this? Of course the Daily Prophet likely didn't post more outrage than a couple people quitting, I don't even know how it would have been put into the narrative, I'd just have liked to see more people be confused and angry about this sudden regime change going on inside the most popular wizarding school in Britain.

*I was actually never very good at English, I have no clue what the actual answer was, thank you for nothing four years of high school.

**I pointed this out in the last book, but this is now a blatant mismatch of the house tables. Last time it was the Hufflepuffs on their other side as Harry had to walk past them, this time it's Ravenclaws? Someone must have been right in saying it does switch up on a regular basis.

#Harry Potter #fanfiction #reading the books #Marauders #Jilly #OotP #James Potter #Remus lupin #Sirius Black #Lily Potter #The LIfe that Never LIved

[ashes-and-ashes]

Lockpicks

Another Hogwarts School for Troubled Youth fic? Why not??

~

Sirius is awakened by the feeling of weight on his bed.

He bolts upright, kicking hard at the figure perched on the edge of the mattress; the person let out a pained grunt, falling onto the floor with a hard thump. With shaking hands, Sirius lunges for the light switch, flicking it on, illuminating rumpled covers and chipped walls and Remus Lupin curled in a fetal position on the ground.

“Shit,” Sirius says and gets out of bed - the air is freezing against his bare feet. He trips over Remus’ legs and goes down hard, collapsing on top of Remus. “Ah fuck Re, what the hell are you doing?”

Remus mumbles something - he can’t make out the words, seeing as Remus’ face was mashed into the floorboards. Sirius pushes himself up, glancing at the clock on his bedside table. “Jesus fuck, Re, what the hell are you doing here at 4 in the morning?”

Remus rolls his eyes, folding his legs underneath him. He rubs his side ruefully, hair tousled and cheeks flushed, eyeing Sirius’ feet resentfully. “Thanks for breaking my ribs.”

“I’ve broken someone’s ribs before,” Sirius says. “That kick was nowhere near hard enough.”

“Well I happen to have had my ribs broken before and I think this hurts just as badly. Asshole.”

Sirius shakes his head. He moves over, making space for Remus to fit on the bed, pulls the blanket over the two of them. It’s freezing - Hogwarts had shitty insulation and sheets of icy rain lashed against the window panes. “I don’t even - I locked my door!”

“Yes,” Remus replies, “And I was sent here for pickpocketing and breaking and entering so of course your shitty door lock could stop me.”

“I thought they took your picks.”

Remus held out his hands; twin probes of slender steel appeared between his fingers. “The staff really can’t tell the difference between proper lockpicks and unfolded paperclips.”

“Could you pick my lock with unfolded paperclips?”

“I probably could pick your door lock with a pair of socks.”

Sirius shoved him, hard; Remus lets out a little yelp and shoves him back. The lockpicks disappear - Sirius doesn’t know if they’ve gone up his sleeve or into his pockets. He grabs Remus’ arm, pushing the sleeve up; there’s nothing but scarred skin, silver lines livid against the flesh. “Where did they go?”

“Up your ass.”

“Oh really?”

“Would you like me to get them for you? I can pull them out.”

“You might find a whole heap of other things up there.”

“Of course. No one to play with, Sirius?”

Sirius flips him off. Remus just raises his eyebrows and grins. “Look, if you really want to know you probably should check your jacket pocket.”

Sirius stares at him, and then at his leather jacket, slung over a chair in the corner of the room. “You were nowhere near my jacket.”

Remus just winks at him. “Check the pocket. Wait,” he says, as Sirius strides over. “Not the side pockets. The breast one.”

Sirius glances at it. It’s held shut with a heavy buckle, dark metal and paint. He sighs, works the leather through the hole. “Jesus, this is hard.”

Remus just gives him a mocking smile. With a curse, Sirius pulls the strap lose, reaches inside the pocket to find 2 slender metal objects. He brings them out; the light glints off the tips, the twisted curves at the bottom and the small rounded bulb at the top. “No fucking way.”

Remus just shrugs. He crosses his arms across his chest as Sirius brings them back to the bed, tipping them onto the sheets between them. “Here.”

Remus shakes his head. “Nah. They’re yours. Happy Birthday.”

Sirius freezes. He gasps at Remus, his entire body going numb. With an effort, he swallows, hard, tries to keep the shock off his face. “What did you say?”

“Happy Birthday. November 1st. One year closer to getting the hell out of here.”

Sirius closes his eyes. It felt like his throat was being filled with pebbles, crushing his chest, his breath whistling through his teeth. “How did you - “

Remus studies him; he can feel the weight of those amber eyes. Sirius just shakes his head, forces himself to take deep breaths. “I thought they changed it.”

“What do you mean?”

“My parents.” Sirius opens his eyes; Remus levels a calm look back at him. “They changed my birth date. Wanted to keep me in here as long as possible. I thought - even Peter confirmed that it was changed. In the database, I mean - “

“Hey.” Remus takes his hand, holding it in between his. “I don’t know shit about electronics. But I saw your birth certificate. That’s how I knew.”

“How the fuck - “ Sirius sighs. “Of course you broke in.”

Remus waves him off. “I’m more interested to see why the school let your parents make you 8 months younger.”

“More money, I guess. I stay here for longer. You can’t leave until you’re 18.”

Remus falls silent. His hand was still wrapped around Sirius’ wrist - he wonders if Remus can feel his pulse, fast and unsteady and irregular. “Re, I...thanks.”

“Of course.”

“I haven’t...” Sirius trails off. “I’ve never gotten anything for my birthday before.”

Remus looks up sharply - there’s pain in his eyes, smoothed over in an instant. “You’re joking. James and Peter...?”

“Nah.” Sirius looks down, at the lockpicks in his hands. “We’re not allowed to bring anything in - the outside world is a ‘bad influence.’” He spits the words out. “We used to be able to get things through Gid and Fab but then their contact got murdered somehow, so they’re just as screwed as the rest of us. Besides, no one knows my actual birthday.”

“And your parents?”

Sirius forces a bitter laugh. “My parents used to beat me. Every year. ‘Thanks for being alive,’ they’d say, and then beat me until I passed out. It was a bit of a tradition, I guess.”

Remus presses his thumb to Sirius’ wrist, right along the inside. Sirius could feel the blood pulsing against Remus’ fingers, the steady throbbing of his heart. He lets out a shaky breath - Remus holds his gaze. “I’m sorry.”

Sirius scoffs. “What for?”

Remus doesn’t say anything, just looks down. He lets go of Sirius’ arm - the sudden lack of contact makes Sirius feel dizzy. Remus doesn’t seem to notice though - he’s too busy staring at his own fingers, roped with scars, the bones crooked on one hand.

“I,” Remus begins, then cuts himself off savagely. “I used to count the days down before my birthday. My parents were poor but...There was this plate that we used to use, have dinner off of and that was good enough. When I grew older, I kept on waiting for my birthdays, but only because you had to be at least 14 to...to...”

Sirius flinches. Remus takes a deep breath, his face breaking apart. He looks down, his expression blank then forces a smile. “Sorry. It’s about you today, not me.”

Sirius isn’t fooled - he knows Remus just internalized the pain, shoved it down where it couldn’t hurt anyone but himself. “Fuck,” he says. “Remus - “

“Drop it,” Remus says and Sirius can hear the steel in his voice. He lets it go.

“Okay. Thanks.” He holds the lockpicks up, admiring the smooth way the steel bent around his fingers, trying to imitate that grace Remus always had when wielding them. “I have no idea how to use these, though.”

Remus shoots him a startled look. “You - “

“They never used locks,” Sirius tells him. “Rope, sometimes, but never locks. Too hard to dispose of.”

“Right,” Remus says, but Sirius can sense the boiling anger underneath the surface. He gently reaches over, takes one of the picks in his hand; he spins it around his fingers, around his wrists, fingers flashing so quickly Sirius can barely see them. “I’ll teach you.”

“You’ll,” Sirius begins, then rolls his eyes as Remus balances the pick on the tip of his middle finger. “You’ll teach me to become like you?”

“I doubt you’ll ever be like me. I’m a prodigy.”

“Asshole.”

Remus held his hands up, palms out. The lock was gone from his hands and he gave Sirius an innocent look. “It’s true. You’ll learn from the best.”

He gestures towards his ear; Sirius sighs, reaches up to find the pick, woven into his hair. “How did you - “

“Shh.” Remus stands; he’s beautful, all long limbs and silver scars and flickers of light. “Go to bed, Sirius. I’ll teach you in the morning.”

“It is the morning,” Sirius protests but Remus ignores him. He’s gone in an instant, the door shutting behind him; Sirius knows by the tell-tale click that he had locked the door from the outside. With a sigh, he places the picks on the table, thinks better of it and shoves them under his pillow.

The blankets are still warm from Remus’ body. Sirius presses his face into them - it even smelled like Remus, citrus and cold metal and the outside air. With a sigh he rolls over in the bed, his fingers brushing the cold edges of the lockpicks.

He thinks about Remus, clever fingers, lockpicks flashing in his hands. He thinks about other things, those beautiful hands in his hair, against his cheek, on his hips and -

“Fuck,” Sirius says, staring up at the ceiling. “I am so fucking screwed.”

#hogwarts school for troubled youth #no magic au #wolfstar #wolfstar angst #wolfstar fluff #wolfstar fanfic #wolfstar muggle au #sirius black #remus lupin #sirius black angst #remus lupin angst #sirius black fluff #remus lupin fluff #sirius black fanfic #remus lupin fanfic #sirius black muggle au #remus lupin muggle au #muggle!sirius #muggle!remus

[hpdabbles]

Darry and “Well, /you/ weren’t who I was expecting.” please!

“But why do I have to do this?” Harry whines trailing behind Sirius who was fussing over the cuffs of his jacket suit for the fifth time. A few months ago, he would have never thought about whining too much with a guardian but ever since his Godfather crash into his life, screeching and forming around the mouth like his animagus form, a lot has changed for the young boy.

“Because, despite the fact I hate it too, this is a very important tradition in pureblood culture.” Sirius huffs. Once the older man gets his cuffs to settle he is twirling around to look over Harry’s outfit. He shakes his head, reaching forward to fix the collar until the Potter Family Chest is visible. It is adjusted to the Black Family Chest on the other side of Harry’s collar.

It feels awful like dog tags to identify who owns him. 

“If we follow the traditions, at least the less supremest ones, we can find some allies. We need allies.” Sirius continues taking a step back. His face is twisted as if the words disgust him deeply which cracks a smile out of Harry. “All we have to do is show up. I’m not going to allow you to be trap in a stupid contract.”

Harry raises a brow. “You can stop them?”

“I’m the Head of the Noble and Ancient House of Black. There is very little I can do with that title.”

“Then why do we even need allies?”

Sirius sighs bending down so his eyes are at Harry’s eye level. It makes the boy aware of his small stature but in a good way. Almost all his life he had people looking down at him: his uncle, his aunt, his cousin and everyone in the neighborhood who believed he was no good. 

Harry, in their eyes, was nothing but a mistake at best and a monster at worst.

Not Sirius. He always made an effort to look Harry on even grounds asking for his opinion and his thoughts acting like they mattered. With him, Harry felt like any other nine-year-old kid.

“We need allies because no man can do everything by himself. My title holds a lot of power but people are still wary of me, a lot of them truly believe I betrayed your parents and that I’m a Death Eater.” Sirius says gently but there is an undertone of frosty rage.  It may be a little odd to notice things like that but Harry always used to look for the undertone in conversations. You never know what could set off Vernon. You had to watch out for the signs.  “They think I paid my way out of Azkaban.”

“But you did pay you way out of Azkaban” Harry didn’t mean to point that out but the words came tumbling out of his mouth. It’s always been a problem for him quick like his fiery temper.

Sirius’ smile is proud like somehow Harry pleased him. It’s like mischief is what he strives on, happy to see it in any form.  His godfather is weird like that  “I’ll have you know I only persuaded a guard with a bit of gold to see if he could find the record of my trial. He’s the one that realizes there wasn’t a trial and brought it to the attention of the higher-ups. Very different brat.”  

Harry attempts to make a doubtful face but the way Sirius is wagging his eyebrows has him giggling instead. His godfather grins, reaching out to rough up his hair and Harry actually leans into the touch. 

“Now come. We have a ball to get to and it’s not proper to be late.” Sirius rolls his eyes voice turning to mock towards the end as he straightening up to his full height. He adjusts his top hat making his long wavy hair spill over to touch his shoulders. 

Harry finds it weird that wizards dress in robes and Sirius is apparently rebellious for being in victorian era outfits even if they are still considered formal. As long as they are accepted it’s all fine. 

His Godfather tilts his head walking the special way he taught Harry to step, graceful and no wasted effort.

You must walk as if though you are gliding. People can spot those without proper manners a mile away. You must learn to be graceful and walk with the importance of someone of your standing, Harry.

It took him a while but he learned how to be half as elegant as Sirius. There were still some days where he fell back into his old habits- shoulder’s slouching, steps too quick and pressing on his toes instead of his heels- but he likes to think he was getting better.

 “A Potential Marriage Ball, where everyone tries to marry up. Oh, the joys of purebloods.” Sirius sighs shaking his head. Harry stumbles over his dress shoes- having dressed in a victorian fashion as well but with green color, theme compares to the red of his guardian-  which makes him glare at the almost thoughtless way the older man walks. 

It’s not thoughtless, it’s a lot of work!

“Is Mr. Lupin going to be there as your potential marriage?” Harry asks innocently just to watch his godfather trip over his graceful legs. He giggles again when Sirius attempts to fight off the blush as he pretends he doesn’t have a crush on Moony.

Harry thinks it’s stupid. Everyone with eyes can tell and that’s coming from him, who admits that he can be rather dense.

“Why don’t we drive around your old school and make people jealous of our money tomorrow? We can rent the most expensive limo and have the windows down.” Sirius suggests clearing his throat. Harry perks up. He loves it when he can rub it into all those peoples faces that now Harry was much better then they are. 

He also recognizes it as a distraction from the conversation but takes the bait anyway. “Can we buy ice-cream too?”

“Sure.”

The ball is supposed to be his formal introduction to the Wizarding world. Harry has been with Sirus for months but he has been kept out of the public eye only being allowed one guest, Remus Lupin, to visit him. 

Sirius had wanted to get them both comfortable around each other and prepare Harry for his fame and role as the Boy Who Lived. It still boggles his mind that he’s famous. 

The ball when they walk in is the most magical thing he’s ever seen. The ballroom is lightened with flouting candles, all that hover around the top of the room near a sparkling glass chandelier. The light bounces off the glass through sparks along the walls.

The entrance is at the top of stairs, which gives the whole view of the room, and everything is a level lower, spreading out into a wide dance floor of marble. There seem to be house elves walking around offering floating trays to guests, while classical music plays but he can’t see any bands. He doubts the high-class wizard world has speakers so the music must be a charm.

People are waltzing near the big windows in the far back while on the right side tables are set up. To the left, the area is reserved for conversating. Harry can see kids in all these but even they move more gracefully then Harry.

He swallows a gulp.

 All-around him people in expensive robes and dresses mingle, some with shimmering jewelry and others in makeup. Harry personally thinks most of the men with makeup have nothing on Sirius’s eyeliner and red lipstick. 

Padfoot is the most attractive male in the room, and he walks down the stairs well aware of it. Harry hurries behind him, aware of multiple stares after the little house elf shouts  “The Head of the Noble and Ancient House of Black with his Heir have arrived. Presenting Lord Sirius Black and Heir Harry Potter” 

“Remember your lessons,” Sirius whispers to him while they move down the wide stairway. “Try to not offend anyone but don’t let them walk all over you. Please dance with one person before the night ends. And remember, I love you no matter what.”

“I love you too.” 

As soon as they make it to the bottom of the stairs Sirus is surrounded by people who wish to say hello after so many years apart. His godfather greets them with a charming smile, easily sidestepping the pointed questions and passive-aggressive comments with ease. They crowd coo and aww over Harry congratulating him and staring at him like he’s a prize to be won. It makes him shiver.

Harry slips away the moment he sees an opening and makes his way to the other side of the room, ducking underneath dancing pairs until he can find a nice little nock in the windows sills to hide. He’s out of sight and unless people search for him deliberately no one will find him.

One useful skill he picked up from the Dursleys at least.

Breathing a sigh of relief, Harry slumps. The lessons that Sirus attempting to stuff in his head - walking, breathing, speaking, manners, traditions,- all flew from his head the moment he was surrounded. He no doubts just made it harder for them to get allies.

Sirius would have to do some serious damage control. He feels very ashamed of himself for making things harder for Padfoot when their situation is bad enough as it is. 

They need allies, allies with influence because of the Ministry. They have been in waiting to look for any reason, any hint, of Sirius, messing up and dragging him back to Azkaban or at the very less take Harry away from him. 

Neither wanted this, but they needed the backing of powerful families should it does come to a legal battle.  And now, because of him, there may have gone any help they could get.

Harry feels tears prick at his eyes suddenly filled with dread that he may have to go back to the Dursleys. He’s doesn’t want to go back. Please don’t make him go back. Don’t take Sirius away. Please please please, please-

“Well, you weren’t who I was expecting” A voice breaks through his haze of fear. Blicking through tears Harry sees a boy his age at the entrance of his little nook. He’s wearing grey robes, resembling liquid mercery, and a family crest on his collar tells Harry he’s an Heir. Of what family he’s not sure.  

The boy is also really pretty. His hair is so fair it almost seems white, with pretty clear skin and storming grey eyes. 

He’s looking Harry up and down. The pretty pureblood seems unimpressed “I didn’t think the Boy-Who-Lived would find my hiding place. Mother swore no one would know- hey are you okay?”

There is little space between them so when the boy raises his hand to wipe a trail of tears off Harry’s face, he steps into his personal bubble. This makes Harry stiffen. He likes it when Sirius or Remus touches him, but not when others- especially people he isn’t sure won’t hurt him - do it. 

He doesn’t push him away, however, because he doesn’t want to make things worse for Sirius. And the boy is actually really nice, his eyes are soft with worry, almost like he cares. He’s seen some kids in school look like that with their friends but he’s never had someone he’s age do the same to him.

Harry feels more tears fill his eyes.

“Don’t cry.” The boy continues gently taking Harry’s hand. “Are you lost? I can help you find your way.”

“N-no” Harry hiccups frustrated with himself.  “I’m fine.” 

The boy stares a little more before one his thumbs run over Harry’s knuckles in a soothing motion. “Alright. You can stay. I’ll allow it. My names Draco Malfoy.”

“Ha-ary Po..tter” Harry gasps out through his hitching breath. Draco tugs his hand until they find a seat on the window shills, the large pillar keeping them out of sight. 

“It’s lovely to meet you,” Draco tells him still holding his hand and Harry smiles just a bit.  “Do you like Quidditch?”

“A little. I play with my godfather sometimes. My favorite position is Seeker”

“Mine too.” Draco smiles please and the Harry swears the music must have timed it because at that moment it syncs up to play a light-hearted melody that fits the glow of his face. He can’t look away. 

He squeezes the hand in his palm and is thrill by the squeeze he gets in return. Did he just make his first-ever friend? 

For the rest of the evening, Draco and Harry talk about things the boys like and the hours’ tick by. They eventually switch to games, verbal ones and ones they can play with their hands -  Draco is determined to win at rock, paper, scissors even though Harry refuses to let him add in Wand because it’s too powerful- and the fear he felt at the began chips away. 

Eventually, a woman appears at their hiding place with a very put upon frown. Draco twists his head up from where he’s attempting to do a handstand with Harry holding his knees to his chest to give him room.  He claims he could do it and Harry had called his bluff. 

“Mother!” The Malfoy blurts tumbling forward with a blush. “I was ugh that’s to say-I’m. This…this is Harry Potter! Harry this is my mother.”

“It’s very lovely to meet you, ma’am,” Harry says remembering to wave his wrist in a slight twirl like Sirius told him to do when meeting female purebloods. Once he’s older, he’s supposed to kiss their hands. He thinks….or was it the other way around?

 She gives them both a long look before her face clears. “It’s lovely to meet you as well Mr. Potter. Draco, darling, you have yet to dance and the night is almost full.”

Draco flushes more looking down at his feet as if though he’s been scowled but Harry had picked up the amuse undertones in her voice. She’s not angry at her son, she’s just teasing.  Still, he finds himself saying. “That’s my fault! I kept Draco here all night. I’m sorry,”

“It’s quite alright.” She says tilting her head. Harry doesn’t like the calculating look in her eye.  “I assume this means your dance card is empty as well? Would you do Draco the honor of being your first partner? He’s quite the catch.”

“Mother!”

It takes a moment to remember what that means. He just stares up at her in confusion before he snaps.  “Yes! Yes, it’s empty.”

He turns to the mortified Draco. Sirius did ask him to do one dance and he thinks it’s nice to dance with a friend instead of a stranger.   “Do you want to dance with me?”

Draco’s whole face turns red.  “Y-yes?”

Mrs. Malfoy makes a slight cooing noise before she ushers them out into the crowd. Harry pulls Draco’s hand until they are on the dance floor and they start a Walz. It’s a simple one since the Potter Heir hasn’t been taking lessons on this topic for long but Draco’s just as two left feet as him- the reason he hides at balls apparently- and they end up laughing through the whole thing. 

Harry can’t stop staring at the prettiest boy he’s ever seen spin in the candlelight with a wide smile. Sirius throws him a thumbs up when Harry gestures at the Malfoy mouthing  I made a friend!  and the man looks genuinely pleased. 

Somewhere he hears Mrs. Malfoy say.  “Lucius go fetch the Pensieve. I must never forget this night!”

Harry whole-heartily agrees with her. 

#Anonymous #dabblecentral #The Wrong Sort of First Meeting Starters meme #Darry #Fluff #MP Ball #Harry makes his first friend at age 9 #Draco gets his frist crush at age 9 #Sirius is doing his best #You need to network #Narcissa thinks it's plain adorable #Everyone trying to trap everyone in a engament #But is lowkey terrified of Sirus #Sirius is the jewel of the Ball #Background wolfstar #Raising Harry #Both boys can't dance #(Under a read more cause it got away from me)

[foxymuses]

an incomplete list of headcanons for sirius black:

there was a period of about 6-8 months between running away/being disowned and receiving his uncle’s inheritance when sirius had absolutely nothing to his name but the misc junk he’d shoved in a bag when he left the house to go to james. the potters, ignoring sirius’ claims they didn’t have to, bought him a moderate amount of items including but not limited to clothes, school materials, and various items for the room he’d already claimed at their house. when his inheritance kicked in, he tried to pay them back. they refused.

sirius was always more afraid of his father than his mother (which is the opposite of regulus). the reason is that his mother was more concerned with appearances outside the family, but was content to simply act as if sirius didn’t exist when they were at home, which was fine for both of them (and on some occasions, the worst that would happen is she’d scream and yell and be generally unpleasant, and true she’d be the one to force a hair cut or destroy his ‘revolting’ muggle/gryffindor items). however his father was the disciplinarian. his father rarely raised his voice, but was the first to raise a hand or wand to correct behaviors or punish misbehaviors, and though sirius would stand up for himself and was not scared into silence, there were many instances where he would show up to the potters in the middle of the night, or return from mandatory holidays during the school year, with signs of magically induced injury.

following that, sirius is always the first to jump to the defense of others, completely disregarding his own safety or the danger of the situation, and has been known to laugh in the face of those that think they can fight him, and generally doesn’t react to anyone who rises to attack him either verbally or physically, but whenever his father even shifted slightly, sirius would tense and brace, and there were several instances in public where a disagreement would start and though often the marauder’s were nearby and out of ear shot, they’d know things were going poorly because sirius, who never ever shows fear to anyone, would flinch

it’s clear from prisoner of azkaban that sirius could have escaped at any point. all he did was become padfoot and get past the dementors who weren’t looking for or caring about animals (literally his words). there is no true reason he had to wait twelve years except for dramatic story telling. that being said, the shock of the situation prevented any of this from logically settling in his mind for the first few weeks, and then after that, the dementors and their constant soulsucking presence did make it easier for sirius to blame himself for james and lily dying. he convinced them to make their secret keeper peter instead of him, he didn’t try hard enough to keep them safe, he should’ve actually killed peter, fuck what’s happening to harry, where is he, does anyone care about him, is he being taken care of, what’s remus doing, does remus think sirius did it, does remus hate him, is remus okay, it’s another full moon please let remus be okay, fuck if he gets out he’s going to strangle peter --- on and on, and it definitely gave him a huge amount of guilt on his shoulders, and regret, and despair, and while i personally don’t think it would have taken him 12 years to finally fucking decide to leave, it definitely did take several, especially since telling time within the walls of azkaban is near impossible

ON THAT NOTE, HOWEVER, it is this very guilt and anger that allowed him to muster the determination to finally fucking escape. even amidst all this guilt and fear and sorrow, sirius was strong enough to stay sane under the influence of the dementors and his own perceived failure, that he consciously made the decision to trick his way out. it was this very fury he felt towards peter and the injustice that he suffered because of his coward of a supposed best friend that fueled sirius’ ability to withstand the trails of being a prisoner at the worst wizarding prison. once his guilt subsisded enough for pure unadulterated hate to seep in, it was just a matter of deciding the best time to stage an escape

I REPEAT, I DO NOT BELIEVE IT TOOK HIM 12 YEARS at most, i would figure, personally, it happened in four or five. which, while following my canon divergent main verse, would still allow time for sirius to clear his name and fight for custody of harry, which he does successfully, by my canon, when harry is about seven. SO EVEN IF sirius isn’t instantly cleared as my main verse would like, he still winds up a single dad.

he has horrible nightmares after azkaban, regardless of when he gets out or how long he was there or whether he ends up raising harry. i personally would have it so that he and remus end up living together, both because sirius has his inheritance to support them, and because they’re the last two marauders and trusting others is hard for sirius to come by after everything, so living with remus is Safe and Easy, and he does everything he fucking can to make up for all the full moons he missed, but regardless of how Hard he tries to get back to some semblance of a normal life, he has severe ptsd from prison and he doesn’t sleep well and he doesn’t eat much and he drinks more (in verses where he doesn’t have custody) and he smokes a shit ton more and he spends more time as padfoot than he does as a human because being a dog is just so much simpler and he has fewer worries, and remus is fucking worried as shit about him because sirius was always the strongest of the four of them (fight me on this i dare you) and to see the confident, arrogant, and generally easy-going carefree rebel that was sirius black in school turned into a jumpy, irritable, shattered shell of himself is hard and sirius never truly recovers from that damage, he just gets better at hiding it, and he does a hell of a lot better at healing when he does have custody of harry because harry gives him purpose in a way that remus can’t.

when sirius inevitably comes across peter again, he does try to kill him. whether he genuinely fails or subconsciously stops himself because peter, as much as sirius resents and hates and would love to grind him into little rat pieces, was a friend and was someone sirius trusted and cherished and would have protected with his life, and no matter how much he very much wants to kill the bastard, he can’t

shifting gears a bit, but sirius had never and still doesn’t really see himself ever getting married. he never even wanted kids until harry came around, and even then, the only kid he’ll ever have is in my canon divergency where he raises harry himself. in that verse he is more open to a co-parenting relationship (re: when he’s with @gavrele‘s gabe, or if he were to be with remus or another marauder’s era character who survived either by au or in canon), which can be considered romantic or merely a mutual desire to raise this orphaned child, but in that instance, he still probably wouldn’t want marriage, because it makes him seriously uncomfortable just thinking about it, and at the very most he would just agree to mutually wear signifying rings but not actually make it official, so that way if at any point he does feel weird about it he won’t feel bad about taking the ring off for a few days until the feeling passes

he learns of regulus’ dying while he’s in azkaban and listen canon sirius was very ‘meh’ about the whole deal, which really pisses me off, so my sirius was very torn. and it doesn’t help that most people just write reggie off as disappearing, they don’t know the story, they just assume he died in the war or voldemort disposed of him or something, doesn’t matter, he learns that regulus is gone, and his father is gone, and his mother ends up dying shortly before he gets out, and sirius is alone really and truly, and when he returns home for the first time in years, he manages to convince kreacher to explain the situation because even if he doesn’t particularly like kreacher, they both loved regulus, and sirius crafts a makeshift grave for his brother which he visits reguluarly, and though he doesn’t usually say much except “hey reg”, the first time he broke down sobbing because he tried so hard to get regulus to see the right side of the war, but he didn’t try hard enough, and he should’ve worked harder to keep reg safe, what an awful brother he was, he only ever thought of himself, if he just took regulus with him when he ran away maybe they could’ve avoided this, fuck he’s sorry he fucked up, he’s so proud that regulus stood up to voldemort in the end, he doesn’t care if it was for selfishness or fear or whatever, he’s so proud, he wishes regulus would know how proud he is

he actively keeps harry as safe as possible, doesn’t let half the shit that happens happen to him, fully supports and listens to him whenever the kid says ‘something is going on”, talks with him through it, tells him all the stories of james and lily that he can, never treats harry as less than his own blooded son because to him harry is his son, but he also never tries to replace james with himself, and harry knows how much sirius loved james and lily and how sirius only wants harry to be safe and happy, and merlin did he cry the first time harry called him dad and told him that he knows sirius isn’t his real dad but its okay to have more than one dad, he still loves james too he just loves sirius as much, and when he saw sirius almost crying, he asked if that was okay, and sirius could not express how absolutely perfect that was and later when talking to remus, remus had to hold a conflicted sirius for at least half an hour because he adored the idea but god he misses james so much, he wishes this wasnt the situation but it is and fuck it hurts (remus is uncle, by the way)

he literally stands between snape and harry, and dumbledore and harry, and does not let lucius anywhere near harry (and only allows cissa after a tentative no-children meeting, where they agree to not be enemies but rather awkward cousins like they are, and sometimes even let draco and harry play together) and harry is raised knowing about the prophecy, and since he’s raised in the wizarding world he’s not a commodity, by the time he starts hogwarts, everyone has kind of gotten over the hype so he can be mostly normal, and yeah strange things keep happening but the second harry tells sirius (because harry is raised in an open and loving environment where talking about things is encouraged), sirius does shit about it, and yeah voldemort wasn’t vanquished, he is still waiting, and sirius can’t be everywhere, but when harry says voldemort is back, sirius fucking rallies and essentially one-man-armies the ministry into fucking doing something about it because he lived through that hell in his last few years of hogwarts, he lost friends to it, he is not going to watch it happen again and nothing is going to hurt harry period

naturally, this means he doesn’t die in the department of mysteries because when the dreams start happening, harry talks about them with him, and they work it out together.

sirius doesn’t get a job because he doesn’t need one, and all of harry’s inheritance from james is purely harry’s, sirius doesn’t touch an ounce of it, and in fact regularly adds to it of his own inheritance, but sirius is seen roaming random places offering assistance, usually in regards to muggle nonsense (think hands on mechanics stuff) because he’s good at it and he doesn’t know what to do with his time, but he never lets them pay

he helps fund the weasley’s prank store. ron is a little odd, and hermione is sometimes annoying, and boy does he have a soft spot for neville because sirius knows about his parents, and you can bet that rather than lifting the map from filch, sirius straight up gave it to fred and george, and remus later confiscated it from his now-permanent DADA position (or whatever position remus wants, tbh) and sirius got an earful before telling remus he knew the other would give it back to them, which he did

i could continue but i should probably start another post to do so SO THERE YOU ARE

#you didn't ask for it #but here is a list of everything i thought about sirius in my short 15 minute bus ride this morning #;;siriuscanon #THIS GOT WAY FUCKING LONGER THAN I MEANT IT TO #AND ALSO FOCUSES A LOT ON MY DIVERGENT SETTING #but idfc i have sirius muse up the wazoo and i need to share it #long post #man i dont usually tag that but fuck this is. this is a lot

[ciestessde]

Phantasma Magica Ch. 10

STORY SUMMARY

Clockwork and the Observants send Danny to Hogwarts on a special mission. But, cryptic as ever, that Old Stopwatch never actually told him what would happen on it!!! “All you need to do right now, Daniel, is stay focused on your mission. And remember, the-” “‘The Lions with the time-turner, lightning-bolt scar, and hair like fire are friends; watch out for the rat; and the black dog is not a threat.’ Yeah, you’ve only repeated that a few dozen times today.”

Next → ← Previous (First)

*Knock-knock* “You may come in.”

Lupin entered. Dumbledore stopped his pacing and sat behind his desk. … He was frowning.

“Thank you for coming, Remus.” “I assume this is about Danny,” Lupin sat in the chair Dumbledore provided him. Dumbledore nodded, his eyebrows furrowing. “I’ve given much thought to what you’ve told me about him. You claim the phantasm is… friendly. However, you also acknowledge that phantasms survive--” his tone darkened “--off of eating souls.” “Yes. That’s what Danny told me. However, Danny eats substitute souls…” Lupin trailed off. Dumbledore was nodding.

“... I… understand your sympathies for the boy. And I agreed not to pursue him. However.” Dumbledore’s eyes seemed to actually burn. “Unlike a werewolf… a phantasm is a continual threat to my students’ safety. What if he were to run out of these ‘substitutes,’ for example? Would he hunt the dementors and break our tenuous peace with them? Eat the Hogwarts’ Ghosts?” Lupin didn’t have an answer for him. “And as you have said yourself, this is the first -- the only -- time we know of that anyone has had a remotely civil interaction with a phantasm. I trust your judgement that the boy does not MEAN us any harm. But we have no way of knowing that that will last.” They sat in silence for a while.

Dumbledore sighed. He looked pained. “... I’m sorry, Remus. I won’t attack the boy. “But I cannot allow him to remain here unsupervised.”

Few things felt better than floating lazily through the air on a warm Spring night. Danny felt sorry for the humans: stuck inside, having to study for exams. When the weather was just turning warm… Not that he was able to completely relax. His meal trips for Sirius and 2nd-Hermione took up a bit of time. But on the whole… Danny was actually getting bored again. … As in, REALLY bored! Which was NOT something he thought he’d be when he first arrived at this crazy school. But he’d explored every inch of it! Or, he thought so, anyway; the place was practically a maze. But if there was any part he’d missed, he’d have to congratulate whoever built or hid it (if he ever met them). Because of that boredom, though, Danny resorted to something he never thought he would: He had started studying school subjects for fun. Which, granted, magic subjects were inherently more entertaining, but the textbooks were still somehow just as boring to read as normal ones! The two subjects that interested him most were Astronomy (of course) and History of Magic. (The teacher of that class -- aside from being a ghost??? -- was still extremely boring, but the history itself was actually pretty neat.)

He also started visiting Buckbeak to get the hippogriff more comfortable around his presence, just in case the appeal didn’t work out. The chances of which were… pretty good, if Draco’s returned good mood was anything to go by. Turns out the bully’s father really was influential, and he certainly didn’t keep it a secret that the creature’s execution would be because of that influence. In fact, he seemed pleased by it. Danny had gotten tired of pranking Draco himself, but the boy’s attitude about Buckbeak grated on his nerves so much that he bribed Peeves (with some items from the Hogsmeade joke shop) to do it for him. … It worked… for… a few days, anyway. ...Which was pretty good concentration, for a poltergeist. When a letter arrived saying that an executioner would be attending the appeal, Danny took that as a sign that his plan would probably have to be used, after all. He made sure there was a space ready for the creature in the big room under the castle (called the “Chamber of Secrets,” he found out from Hermione), destroying the basilisk carcass and making a nest for him. He hoped the trip through the ground and walls wouldn’t freak Buckbeak out too much when the time came…

But really. An executioner? To an appeal? For the “crime” of scratching a kid’s arm?! It was like this “Ministry of Magic” WANTED him to hate them!

The Trio, oddly enough, actually seemed to think their chances of winning the appeal were pretty good. He wished he could share their optimism. They were visiting Hagrid almost every evening at this point -- using Harry’s invisibility cloak, of course. If nothing else, the company and constant reassurance was keeping Hagrid’s spirits up.

The appeal took place the same day of the students’ last exams. Which meant that they wouldn’t find out the ruling until after they had finished. Or, in Danny’s case, that he had to keep one eye on Hagrid’s hut during the Divination exam. He would have just floated next to the hippogriff for the whole day, waiting to make their escape, but… It was just too tempting!

He actually sat in on two other, earlier, exams: The Astronomy test, to see how he compared. (He might not actually have been able to take it -- but he was proud to say that, if he could’ve, he would have gotten “top marks!”) And the Defense Against the Dark Arts exam -- because it was a magical obstacle course, which… it was just FAR too entertaining to pass up watching!

But he didn’t watch the Divination exam for the entertainment value. He needed to know whether it was actually possible for humans (magical or not) to see into the future. Because if they could… it meant that the Observants -- Clockwork’s bosses -- weren’t the only ones with that power. He wasn’t sure how, but he thought that might be useful information, in the future… 

But, uh… The answer seemed to be a resounding “no.” Every student that came up to tell her what they saw in the crystal ball… A few of them took it seriously, but most seemed to just be making stuff up. And the teacher, “Trelawney”… was falling for the stories hook, line, and sinker! Danny stayed until the last student ONLY because it was Harry. Who, indeed, did what everyone else did and made something up.

”Well? What do you see?” prompted Trelawney, dressed in her usual ridiculous beads, bangles, and spangled shawl -- looking like a glittery insect with her giant, thick glasses. “Er -- a dark shape… um…” “What does it resemble? Think, now…” “A hippogriff.” “Indeed!” She scribbled something on her parchment. “My boy, you may well be seeing the outcome of poor Hagrid’s trouble with the Ministry of Magic! Look closer… Does the hippogriff appear to… have its head?” “Yes,” Harry stated firmly. “Are you sure? Are you quite sure, dear? You don’t see it writhing on the ground, perhaps, and a shadowy figure raising an axe behind it?” “No!”

‘What the heck is with this teacher? She’s been leading the students into “making”  these doom-ridden predictions the ENTIRE exam!!!’ “No blood? No weeping Hagrid?” “No! It looks fine, it’s -- flying away…” ‘C’mon, Harry. I know you want Buckbeak to be fine, but if you’re going to make something up to pass, make something up that will, y’know -- get her to pass you.’ But the teacher sighed and said, “Well, dear, I think we’ll have to leave it there. ...A little disappointing,” ‘Really, though? Are ALL predictions bad? Can’t the Universe give GOOD visions?! What kind of “prophet” ARE you?!!!’ “... but I’m sure you did your best.”

Harry packed up and turned to leave, Danny about to phase out through the wall, when-- “IT WILL HAPPEN TONIGHT.” Danny reeled around, almost attacking her -- The lady’s voice had become loud and harsh, and her body had gone rigid. Her eyes were unfocused, and her mouth sagged. But as soon as Danny realized what was going on -- he paid extra close attention!!!

“THE DARK LORD LIES DORMANT, TRAPPED BEHIND LIGHTNING. HIS SERVANT HAS BEEN CHAINED THESE TWELVE YEARS. TONIGHT, BEFORE DUSK… THE SERVANT WILL BREAK FREE AND RELEASE HIS MASTER. THE DARK LORD WILL RISE AGAIN WITH HIS SERVANT’S AID, BRINGING TERROR WITH HIS LIGHTNING PRISON. TONIGHT… BEFORE DUSK… THE SERVANT… WILL RELEASE… HIS MASTER…”

Trelawney’s head fell onto her chest, then snapped back up, and like that -- it was over. Harry tried to get some kind of explanation from her, but she didn’t seem to remember what had just happened. And Danny was inclined to believe she wasn’t faking it, because during that little episode… She had been radiating time aura.

… Also, it was just the kind of vague, unhelpful wording the old Stopwatch LOVED to use when giving any hint or warning. Because, really? “Trapped inside lightning”? “Release his master”? How was that helpful?!?! ‘Well…’ Danny tried to decode the message on his way to Hagrid’s hut. ‘I guess this means my vacation is over. “Lightning prison”... ‘That probably means Harry. The “servant” MIGHT be Pettigrew…?’

Deciding it would be better to keep a closer eye on Harry for the night, Danny turned around. If he had learned anything from his training under the Master of Time, then he knew that prophecies were meant to be broken! But when he got to the Gryffindor common room, it was to see the Trio headed out with grim looks on their faces. He whispered to Hermione (who was used to him appearing at her ear), “What’s going on?” “Buckbeak lost the appeal,” she whispered.

He followed them down to the hut. ‘I have a bad feeling about this, but… No point trying to change things until I know what to change…’ Hagrid was trembling and pale when he answered the door. “It’s us,” Harry hissed. “We’re wearing the Invisibility Cloak. Let us in and we can take it off!” “Yeh shouldn’ve come!” But he let them in, anyway. Rifling through his cupboards, he asked, “Wan’ some tea?” “Where’s Buckbeak, Hagrid?” Hermione asked hesitantly. “I -- I took him outside.” His hands were trembling as he poured, spilling milk all over the table. “He’s tethered in me pumpkin patch. Thought he oughta see the trees an’ -- an’ smell the fresh air -- before --” The milk jug slipped from his trembling hands and shattered on the floor. “I’ll do it, Hagrid,” Hermione offered, moving to clean up the mess. “There’s another one in the cupboard,” he said, sitting himself down in one of his giant chairs.

While Hermione cleaned, Danny decided to help in the little way he could. He couldn’t steal Buckbeak away just yet -- he needed the officials to see it was him, or they might -- no. Or they WOULD just accuse Hagrid of hiding/freeing the creature. So for now, all Danny could do was find the spare milk jug in the cupboard. But when he looked-- There, hiding inside an empty jug -- in a place NONE of them would’ve thought to look (the man’s specialty, it seemed)... Was the rat form of Peter Pettigrew. ‘Knew I had a bad feeling!’

Danny snatched him, quickly phasing outside so that no one could hear his squeaking. “Don’t even think about it,” he growled to the invisible, writhing rat in his hand. It just writhed harder. “If you keep squirming…” He let his hand get colder and colder, “I’ll just have to freeze you in place.” The squirming stopped, but the rat still trembled.

Danny heard voices. It was Dumbledore, a couple older men (one of whom he recognized as the Minister) -- and a man with an axe. ‘Oh, great…’ He would have to steal Buckbeak AND keep hold of Pettigrew, now. Danny took a deep breath. ‘Okay. I can do this. We have a plan… Please stick to the plan, guys…!’ They did. He heard the backdoor of the hut open, and the Trio’s footsteps quickly moved to a place farther away from the hut. The officials were almost there. Dumbledore’s presence made Danny a little nervous, but… No time.

He turned visible with a roar. The four wizards jumped, drawing their wands, and Hagrid stumbled out of his hut. Once he had their attention, Danny wasted no time in freeing Buckbeak. He burnt the rope tethering him to the pumpkin patch, grabbed the hippogriff around the neck, and was just spreading his energy into him to turn them both intangible when-- -- Dumbledore snapped out of his shock.

“Irretio idolon!”

It was just like he remembered -- though the memory was fuzzy. Except he noticed something about the spell he didn’t have the chance to last time. He wasn’t holding anything last time.

It wasn’t just as though he were trapped in a net -- he was trapped in a net that kept him from touching anything else.

Which meant he was forced to let go of Buckbeak… And Pettigrew.

~~~~~

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#Harry Potter #Danny Phantom #phantasma magica #phicc #atrieisan

[takaraphoenix]

Random question, but do you ever wonder why Slytherins are such jerks? Like if they were really about cunning and ambition, then they would be pleasant and build popularity, not reduce their influence by being absolute pricks... if anything, the outspoken and strong willed Gryffindors should be the bullies. I feel like Slytherins would be the most diplomatic...

Yes, very random. *blinks slowly*

Uhm. Due to a severe lack of background knowledge in this fandom, I will only focus on the “current” - aka Harry’s - generation to answer your question to the best of my abilities.

Voldemort is essentially Hitler. He wants to rid the world of all the impure so only his superior race of wizards will rule. The Death Eaters are essentially Nazis.

Those kids are being raised by Nazis. Their minds have been warped since they could walk, well, even before that. They have been raised and taught to be superior, that others are beneath them. Children are impressionable. And when a child is raised to believe they are superior to others, they will believe that - because what reason is there to believe otherwise when their parents tell them.

But even those kids who were not so easily manipulated into believing what their parents believed in, even they have to face the prejudices all Slytherins have to face.

Seriously. The sorting first year? “Urgh, don’t want to become a Slytherin”, all the bad comments about Slytherins, the Chosen One sitting there under the hat begging not to be Slytherin. Everyone perceives them as the jerks.

And a valid reaction to that is to act like a jerk. Out of defense. That creates a paradoxic circle where others expect a behavior from them, because they see that behavior, but that behavior was a reaction to other people’s perception of them - and so further and so on.

Now, I really can’t speak of Lucius and Severus’ generation and what actually made all of them join Tom Riddle. But looking at history, it’s mostly the white upperclass that likes to stay in control - and from everything I’ve seen in the movies about Slytherins, they are the white upperclass. So when someone with powerful words comes along, promising them to stay in charge, validating their feeling of being superior to others, they will join that man. See: History of humankind.

I really don’t know what the socialeconomic situation was back in Marauders Era, but... it’s my best guess.

Mainly, though, I blame the principle of having those fucking houses with their fucking stereotypes. If it were just houses and everyone can pick for themselves, I do not think the problem would be this stark.

But the colors, the motto, the living arrangements - they create a sense of community that can backfire hard. In the way that when a majority of them decides to do something, like say join the Dark Lord, others might feel compelled to do the same.

Additionally, the whole prejudice things. It’s born out of separating children, who are still young and impressionable and finding themselves, based on certain characteristics.

I am not the same girl I was when I was eleven. Heck, I wasn’t the same girl I was when I turned eighteen. The teenage years are the ones really shaping us as humans.

And when you take an impressionable child and press a label on them - you now a Slytherin, they are defined by those following tades! - then the child will form according to the mold. And not just in the “Those are the supposedly positive trades associated with this house”-sense, but also according to all the negative connotations and prejudices that they encounter during their school days.

For us, as adults revisiting our childhood, it’s fun to sort ourselves into those fictional houses. But being an actual child, removed from your parents and usual surrounding for the first time in your life, and put into those houses with those expectations, that is simply a fucking awful idea.

Aaand that’s how you create a whole community of “jerks”.

They have no need to be charming and to build popularity; they are taught by their parents that they are already superior and that everyone should look up to them.

Also, controversial thing, but: I always saw the Griffindors as bullies. The canonical Griffindors in the movies are definitely bullies?

As mentioned in the above, all those snide remarks aimed at Slytherins, those came from Griffindors. Even before any Slytherin has done anything mean to Harry, he is being taught and told that Slytherins are the bad guys. And he is taught that by fellow Griffindors.

The blanket “All Slytherins are Death Eaters” thing also came from Griffindors. Not even allowing the possibility that any Slytherin might think for themselves.

And even in the generation before. It were the Griffindors - Remus, Sirius, James and Peter - who were bullies. They bullied Snape just because they didn’t like how he looked and acted. That does not justify the way Snape turned out, you know, bullying children and Griffindors in particular, as an adult, but it proves the point in case.

And it also serves as an example, because... it’s the Griffindors who enforce the negative connotations to being a Slytherin and who keep pushing the narrative of “all Slytherins are bad guys”. They are the main force behind that vicious circle I suggested earlier.

#Harry Potter #Meta #how did this post happen?? #Hogwarts Houses #uchiarifly

[marauders--mischief]

Lucida

Pairing: Sirius x Reader

Word Count: 5,130

Warnings: Angst, character death, depressing thoughts

A/N: Okay, this is my first piece of writing I’ve ever published. I’m not pretending to be amazing at writing so if you read it and you can think of anything I need to improve on, please tell me, I’d appreciate the feedback. I also need to say a massive thank you to @imlikepadfoot for giving me the little boost of encouragement I needed to post this. The title, Lucida, means the brightest star in a constellation, but it was a quick translation so it might be wrong. Anyway… hope you like it! :)

****

Most of your time in Hogwarts was spent in the Astronomy Tower, looking at the stars. Despite already being surrounded by it, there was just something so much more magical about them than anything else that left you in awe. The idea that, you were a tiny detail in the never-ending wonder that was space. For you, that’s what the stars represented. Forever. Too many of them littered against the night sky, it would take a forever to count them all. Only a few people knew you came up here so often, and Sirius Black was one of them. Sirius Black, your best friend, who you had loved since your third year. Yet every week, he was kissing a new pair of lips. You had told yourself that he didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, because you hadn’t told him you had loved him, but it didn’t make the pain any better. Although, on nights like these, when the full moon shone bright, white light and the stars were most visible, you laid on the floor, the cold breeze causing you to shiver. Complete silence but for your breathing surrounded you and you were reminded why you dealt with the pain; Sirius was out there now in his Animagi form, risking his life for his friend. Maybe, you’d just have to wait a little longer.

Early morning approached, and the cold winds became warmer. Unbeknown to you, Sirius had left the Shrieking Shack early, going to meet his best friend. The sun made the sky appear like it was aflame, the bright orange lighting the features of your peaceful face. Prodding you, Sirius tries to wake you up, though he has to do it a few times. Jolting, you spin around, looking for the cause of your disturbance. You shouldn’t have been surprised.

“Mornin’, Y/N/N.” Sirius chuckles. “Sleep well?”

“Oh yeah, just fab,” you glare at him but he only smiles. Your sarcasm was one of the main things he liked about you. You rub your eyes, attempting to wake yourself up more. The only thing Sirius notices is how cute you look when your face scrunches up and how your hair looks adorably wild that he has the urge to run his hands through it. So, he does. This wasn’t an uncommon occurrence for the both of you. You would nearly always be up here, snoring softly, though you would never remember when you actually did fall asleep, and Sirius would join you, braiding your hair for you.  

“So, how’s Moony?” You ask after a while.  

“He’s okay. No new scars to report tonight.”  

“Good.”

When Sirius finishes plaiting your hair, he scoots over to you so you can both watch the sun rise together. Today however, there’s something more on both of your minds. You were both in your final year at Hogwarts, and with the N.E.W.T’s already completed, there wasn’t that much time left until you went home forever.

“We’ll stay together won’t we?” Sirius bursts out, breaking the silence. “I mean, you’ll visit everyday?”

“Of course, Pads.”  

‘Y/N,

Me and James are having a little party to celebrate Harry’s first Christmas. It starts at 5 and only a few people will be there. I know Pete, Remus, Marlene, Frank and Alice are definitely coming. Even Sirius will be there. We’d love it if you could come, it feels like we haven’t actually seen you in ages, what with all the stuff in the Order you’re doing. Let us know, anyway.  

Lots of Love,

Lily.’

You skim over the letter again, eyes lingering over ’Even Sirius will be there.’ Though you had never told Lily about your feelings towards Sirius, she managed to figure it out for herself. Unsurprising, really. Lily Potter was the cleverest witch you knew. When she told you on your last journey home on the Hogwarts Express, you became instantly anxious because, what if he found out? But she promised you that she wouldn’t tell anyone, not even James.

Now, you were debating on whether or not to go. Overall, the fact that you had been really busy with the Order recently, influenced your decision. You could do with a little break and you also felt bad for not keeping your promise to Sirius about visiting everyday. Shuffling over to your desk, you grab a piece of parchment and a quill.  

'Lily,  

I would love to come. It’ll be nice to see you all again.

Love,

Y/N.’

Christmas Day finally arrived, and you were just finishing getting ready to apparate to the Potter’s household. You were wearing a dark red, knee length dress with natural makeup. Grabbing the presents you bought for everyone off the side, you close your eyes and picture their house. A sudden rushing feeling crashes over you and suddenly, you’re standing in front of the door to their house. You knock three times, and Lily opens the door, wrapping you in a tight hug once she sees your face smiling up at her.  

She doesn’t let go for a while, and when you try to escape her arms, she only holds on tighter. “Hiya to you too, Lils,” you giggle.

“Well aren’t you coming in?” Finally letting you go. “Unless of course, you want to stay outside in the snow?”  

Rolling your eyes at her, you step inside and close the door behind you, following Lily to the living room. Sat on the sofa, was James, laughing at a black dog, as Harry tried to grab its tail. You begin to join in the laughter, and the dog’s ears lift up. A second later, the dog transforms into Sirius, who has a mischievous smirk etched onto his face.  

“Why, hello. James, who’s this stranger?” He jokes.

“Sirius,” you laugh, “stop it! I haven’t seen you in weeks and you act as though you don’t even know who I am anymore.”

Sirius hesitates for a moment, pretending to think about who you were, before he grinned widely. “Y/N!” He shouts, lifting you up and twirling you round.  

“Woah, Sirius,” you exclaimed, playfully slapping his back. “Put me down!”

Reluctantly, Sirius lowers you down until your feet are firmly flat on the ground. However, as soon as you are, you go back for another hug, this time your arms wrapped tightly around his waist. “Missed you, Pads.”

Sirius smiles, but continues to play around with you. “I know…I missed me too.”

You instantly let go of him. “Sirius, you absolute git!”

Sirius and James break into laughter, and then there’s a knock on the door. Lily, and Marlene went upstairs to get the presents, Frank and Alice were in the kitchen preparing the food and James and Sirius were too busy having a laughing fit, so you were left to get the door.  

When you open it, Remus and Peter are stood there; Peter in a coat too big for him and Remus in his usually fluffy jumper. Smiling, you open the door wider and let them in. Peter smiles at you, but Remus goes to hug you. Remus and you were like brother and sister. At the end of the first year in Hogwarts, you had discovered his secret and had given hints to the other Marauders, knowing they wouldn’t abandon their friend. As you predicted, James, Sirius and Peter found a way to help his transformations; turning into Animagi. Remus, however, still needed someone to talk to, a job you happily accepted.

When you let go of each other, you both returned to the room where everyone was now talking and laughing, the Christmas spirit obviously high. You took a seat next to Sirius, watching as Harry opened his presents from all of you. James, you and Sirius were the only one’s drinking, and as the night went on, your proximity to Sirius only became closer.  

Everyone began to leave at around 11, Lily politely mentioning that Harry needed to sleep. You, however, stayed to help Sirius clean up.  

“No star gazing tonight then, Y/N?” Sirius asked.

Unable to stop yourself from smiling, you look up at him. “Of course. When do I not?”

His mouth opens and closes, as if he’s lingering on unspoken words, but he just shrugs and goes back to picking the wrapping paper off the floor.  

Sirius uttered his next words so quietly, that if even one person spoke, you wouldn’t have heard him. “Mind if I join you this time?”  

His eyes are already locked on yours, and butterflies erupt from your stomach. “Sure.” Perhaps it was just the drink talking, or maybe you would’ve accepted his offer anyway.

Taking Sirius by the hand, you dragged him to the back garden. Once you’ve summoned blankets to lay on, you tell Sirius to lay down. Not allowing the nerves to get the better of you, you lay next to him, head resting on his outstretched arm.

This felt so right to both you. You could hardly calm your rapidly beating heart, though he began talking to you about the stars, so you knew he mustn’t’ve noticed.

His head turns to face you, your hair tickling the side of his face. “See that one there?” He asks, pointing upwards towards a star.  

Following the direction in which he was pointing, you see a star, outshining all the others. You became quite confused as to how you’d never seen it before.

“That’s Sirius,” he noted.

Your attention turns back to Sirius, the brightest star in the sky, and you smile, snuggling in closer to the real Sirius.

Hours and hours, you both stayed like that, until you eventually fell asleep. When you woke up, you woke up alone. You were glad you hadn’t told him how you felt last night, as he obviously didn’t return the feelings. Still, you would fondly remember the previous night for the rest of your life.

It would be one of the only good nights you had in a long time.  

How? How could he have done such a terrible thing? Your best friend, seemingly loyal to a fault, had betrayed James and Lily. Your best friend, who cried when he ran away from home and was so full of love and kindness, had joined the Death Eaters. You didn’t want to believe it, but the evidence was there. A picture of him from his cell in Azkaban flashed across the newspaper. His appearance was scruffy, and he looked completely deranged. If you looked long enough, you could almost hear his maniacal laughter leaving his lips. Again, you found yourself grateful that you had not told him your feelings towards him. You were sure now that he only would’ve used it to his advantage, manipulating you for information. Throwing the newspaper away into the fire, you sit down in your old armchair. You refused to remember him like that. No. To you, Sirius would always be your sarcastic, smirking best friend, and you would not know him any other way.

Hatred for the man you thought you knew spurred inside you. Four of your friends had been lost in one night. Three of them were dead, their blood on his hands. And the fourth was Sirius himself. Alive still, but not the same.  

You apparate to Godrics Hollow, and enchant a sign so people could write on it. You didn’t leave a message. There would be too many words and it would take up the entire sign. Instead, you went to the front door and left a single white lily. You don’t return to the Potter’s home after that.

12 years had passed agonisingly slowly, and you had not looked at the stars since that awful Halloween night. In fact, you rarely left the house at all. Remus was the only company you got now, though it wasn’t really much, he was suffering from the loss of all of his friends just as much as you were. Silences and sorrow was the only thing you could give one another, but it was enough. Only yesterday did he tell you that Albus Dumbledore had come to find him, offering him the place of Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. Happy that Remus finally had something he could look forward too, you encouraged him to take the job, with the condition that he’d write to you about Harry, and if Hogwarts had changed at all. And like that, Remus was gone, leaving you alone in the world once more.

Innocent. All this time you thought he had good as murdered three of your best friends and it turns out it’s Peter, who you mourned over for 12 years. You were ashamed. Ashamed that you had not trusted your best friend, as he would’ve done for you. Why would he ever forgive you, when you had left him in a cell to rot, alone with grief? How would you ever be deserving of the man who had been wrongly accused of a crime he didn’t commit. The answer was never. Never would you deserve Sirius Black.  But, you had to see him to apologise, consequences be damned.

Refusing to believe Sirius had returned to his old home, you checked all the places you could think of. But, Sirius had gone into hiding, and he had left no trace of him behind. As a last resort you tracked down Remus, who you heard had returned to his apartment.

When you get there, you knock on the door and it’s not two seconds before Remus lets you in. He must have been expecting you to visit.

“I don’t know where he’s gone, Y/N.”

You sigh. You should’ve expected as much. “Well, if you do hear from him you’ll let me know, won’t you?”

“You’ll be the first to know.”

With that, you leave Remus’ apartment and return to your own home, anxiously waiting for any news of Sirius Black.

He was always reckless. Being locked up in his old family home, which he detested, only made it worse. Throwing himself at every dangerous mission the Order offered, only to become more agitated when everyone denied it him. Unfortunately, with Lord Voldemort returning to power, you rarely had time to even see Sirius, and when you did it was to discuss tactics for the Order. During the meetings, when anything about Azkaban was mentioned, sometimes you swore you could see his face turn as white as a ghost, terror struck and eyes glazed over. Dazed, he often tried to play it off, but you were watching, and you knew. He was remembering his time there. 'I’m out now, Y/N, I don’t worry about it anymore.’ Obviously, you had seen right through his lie, having known him for so long. But if that’s what he needed to tell himself to help him get through whatever he was dealing with, you would gladly go along with it.  

Arthur, Molly and Lupin had joined you and Sirius at 12 Grimmauld Place after Christmas for tea. You were in the kitchen, in charge of preparing the food whilst everyone else was sat at the table, talking about Harry. Aside from getting visitors, hearing about his godson was one of the few things that genuinely made Sirius smile. He loved hearing tales of the boy, especially from Lupin. About how Lupin woke up on the train and thought he was James. Listening to how excellent he was in Defense Against the Dark Arts and how he always stuck up for his friends. Of course, Sirius had quickly found out just how much Harry was like James already, from his Quidditch ability to his apparent attraction to trouble. But Sirius was a convicted murderer, meaning he could never walk into Hogwarts and see it for himself. So, he always enjoyed learning about the stuff he could never find out for himself. Another reason you loved Sirius: his love for his family (his true family, not his prejudiced mother), was admirable.  

After everyone had finished their food, Arthur and Molly left, leaving only you, Sirius and Lupin. It reminded you of your time back in Hogwarts, when you and Lupin were in the library studying, only for Sirius to come up to you and inevitably drag you along to play some prank on Snape or Filch. Reminiscing the memories, you sat for an hour, laughing and drinking like your lives were normal again.  

Eventually, Lupin got up. “I’m er- I’m going to go clean up. I’ll come back soon.”

The two of you sat quietly for a while before you got an idea. When you rose from the sofa, Sirius gave you a questioning look. Darting your eyes to Sirius then to the door, you step outside and wait for him, knowing he got your message. Sure enough, two minutes later, you feel his presence. When you look back at him, your breath hitches. He’s stood with his legs crossed, and his elbow leaning on the door frame, almost carefree. For the first time in a long time, he looked like the Sirius you knew before. Shaking your head, you grab his hand and pull him forward.

“Lay down,” you whisper.  

Following your request, he lowers himself onto the ground, with you joining him.

“See that one there?” You say, pointing upwards towards the star, exactly as he had done before. Repeating it all made the memory seem real again, despite knowing every last detail of the already. “That’s Sirius.”  

He chuckles quietly, a look of awe etched upon his face. But he wasn’t looking at the star… he was looking at you. The one who had comforted him, and felt guilty for leaving him. The one who knew what to do when he broke down, just like you were doing now. His heart sank every time he thought about it because you deserved someone better than him, someone who wasn’t damaged on the inside and out.

Oblivious to Sirius’ piercing gaze, your attention stayed on the glittering night sky, only now aware of how much you had missed them. This was the most relaxed you had been in a long time, and you couldn’t shake the feeling that you belonged here, in Sirius’s arms. Almost as if you were returning home.

Your eyes to flick up to meet his. “You see, the thing about Sirius is, is that it never notices how it makes the rest of the sky light up and it never knows it’s the brightest star in the sky. It forever thinks he’s not worth as much as the rest of them, but he couldn’t be more wrong.”

“He?” Asks Sirius.  

First you think you’ve fucked up and you tell yourself that he’s not going to want to talk to you anymore. Seconds feel like hours as the silence drags on… and on, and on. Until finally- “I didn’t know stars had genders.”

Breathing a sigh of relief, you shoot him a playful glare. “Oh, shove off, Black.”

Everything was okay, his playful demeanor proof of that. “Seriousl- no!” He groaned, realising what he’d said.  "Don’t laugh, I mean it!“ Though Sirius had already joined in with your snickering. He buried his face in his hands. "Ugh, that joke is so old, Y/N.”

“Old but funny,” you retort.  

He glares at you. “Y/N, I was trying to be sincere.” Giving your best 'listening’ expression, you motion for him to continue. “Anyway… I was just saying that I… I really do appreciate everything you do for me and it makes me the happiest person alive to be able to have you in my life.” Sirius had wanted to say so much more but for some reason he held back, afraid of what you might say.

Blood rises to your cheeks, thankful that it was dark out so he couldn’t see your blush. “You’ve been my best friend for years, Pads, it’s what I’m supposed to do.” Would he ever know how desperately you wanted to be more than friends? If it weren’t for the fact that he was a convicted murderer, Sirius could have any girl he wanted. And if he wasn’t, why would he choose you?

That was the problem with falling in love with your best friend: he would never see you as anything more. You ignore the sinking feeling you get in your heart and try to enjoy your time with Sirius. You’d have to return to the Ministry before long.  

All too soon, the night was over, you and Lupin left, and Sirius was alone once more.

Numb. That was the only word that could explain how you felt. Anger and sadness coursed through your veins, unsure of your own emotions. Because Sirius could not be dead. You would deny it until he came back. He would. He would come back.  

Remus had not left your company since he found you. He wasn’t even sure you had noticed his presence. He had learnt how you felt about Sirius soon after he got put in Azkaban, and though he himself was shocked and deserted by his best friend again, he knew you were in a worse state than he was. Positioned in a way so that you were half kneeling, half laying, your body shook as you cried and screamed.  

Somehow, you both felt agonising pain, and nothing all at once. You wanted it to end. You wanted him to come back and wrap his warm arms around you, soothing you and telling you that he was right there. But he wasn’t. There were arms around you though. But they felt different, not unfamiliar but not the ones you needed either. In the distance, you heard a voice call your name. It sounded far away, too far for you to care. The arms around you lifted you up, but you didn’t even feel your feet leave the floor. Suddenly, a realisation dawned on you, and you wanted to curl up into yourself, to be undisturbed by anyone ever again. It was your fault Sirius was dead. If only you had ignored Kingsley’s order. You should’ve gone down to the fight, you would’ve been able to save him. It was your fault.

Remus had picked you up now, though you were still shaking uncontrollably. You were muttering inaudibly, but he managed to catch a few words and phrases. “S-Sirius…” You sobbed. “…’m sorry. My faul- Sirius, please. Come b-back.” It almost broke Remus to see you like this, he was scared you might do something stupid, as grieving people often did. He was scared he’d end up with no one. There was nowhere to go except headquarters, a place he knew would not be even slightly comforting to either of you.  

You realised too late that your surroundings had changed and that you were no longer in the Ministry. Panic swept over you; you thought you had been taken by a Death Eater that had managed to escape. Luckily, when you look over your shoulder to glimpse the person carrying you, you see Remus. However, you were worried. What if Sirius came back and you weren’t there to help him? You begin to protest against Remus, clawing and reaching for something to hold onto that could release you from his grip. All rationality had left your brain, you were so desperate to return to Sirius, wherever he was, you forgot you had a wand.  

“Rem,” you croaked, your voice sore from the shouting. “Remus, put me down! Sirius. He might- we have to go b-back.”

He ignored you.

“REMUS! Listen to me! He’s not dead. He’s… he’s not.”  

Again, Remus acted as though you hadn’t even opened your mouth. You’d had enough.  

“REMUS JOHN LUPIN! Your best friend is in trouble, he is not dead! Don’t you care?-”

Immediately, you were dropped to the ground, Remus was looking at you with more anger in his eyes than you had ever seen. “OF COURSE I CARE, Y/N! BUT HE’S DEAD! DEAD, AND THERE’S NOTHING ANYONE CAN DO ABOUT IT!”

His chest is heaving, out of breath from shouting and releasing all of his anger and frustration. Frustration at the unfairness of the world, because why, why did it have to be the one person everyone cared about so much. You only must register the truth: Sirius wasn’t coming back. No matter if you returned to the Ministry or not. You both break down at the same time. Tears streaming down your face, you rush back to Remus’ side, hugging him so tightly so he couldn’t leave you.  

Your face is leaning on his shoulder, buried in his shabby coat, causing your cries to sound slightly muffled. “Moony, I- I’m so sorry. I cou- should’ve helped. It’s my fault he’s dead.”  

“No. It’s not, Y/N. It’s no ones. Not yours, not Harry’s. It’s Voldemort, Y/N. He’s caused all of this pain and loss, and there’s going to be so much more.”

Neither of you cared at that moment in time that you were in an open street, lit only by a far-off streetlamp, open for anyone to attack you. You just held on tighter to each other, scared that you’d lose the only connection to Sirius the both of you had left.  

Grimmauld Place echoed a lot. At least to you it did. Echoes of Sirius’ laughter and witty retorts. Echoes of the conversations the both of you shared. At first, you thought it was too much; to remember Sirius but not actually have him be there. Soon though, you began to seek the echoes. You were afraid you forget his bark-like laugh and what his voice sounded like when he had only just woken up. So, you had stayed shut up in Grimmauld Place since Lupin brought you here. Dumbledore came to tell you that Harry said he didn’t have an issue with it. He’d also told you that Sirius would be upset to see you like you were, but you didn’t really hear him.  

Needless to say, you hadn’t spoken to anyone since Remus brought you back here. When your feet finally decided to respond to your minds wishes, you went straight up to his room and hardly ever left his bed. Molly and Remus were the only people to come to you (Molly less often than Remus). It eerily reminded you of the time when Sirius was sent to Azkaban, and it was only Remus and you, left together to keep each other sane. Sometimes, you deluded yourself into thinking that is what had happened, and that soon, Sirius was going to burst through the door, declaring he’d escaped yet again. But no such thing ever happened, and you were forced back to the truth that the man you had loved for so long, was gone. That, was your biggest regret. You had never told him how you felt and even though you told yourself that you had reasons not to at the time, they all seemed insignificant now.  

Weeks went on like this. Molly eventually had to stop coming, too busy looking after her own kids, leaving only Remus to talk to you despite you never replying and bring you food which you hardly touched.  

With your resistance to do anything, you were certain that you were slowly going insane. Remus had just left, the door slamming shut. You decided to get up. There was nothing more that could hurt you, you had practically lost everything. Looking through Sirius’ belongings could not make your suffering any worse.  

How very wrong you were.  

You went through pictures, school books, records, clothes and objects from Hogwarts: magical and non-magical alike. There was a large Gryffindor banner which he had stolen from the common room after a party and a mobile with thestrals on, which you presumed used to hang over his crib when he was a baby. You did your best to return his room to a normal looking state (his room had become trashed when he left home, and he said he never had the effort to fix it).  

You understood why. Before the room even began to look tidy, it was already evening, and now you were organising everything, the moon had appeared and the stars were starting to appear.

Whilst you were making the bed, you lifted a pillow, from which an envelope lay underneath.  There was no name or address on the envelope, though it looked different from the rest of his possessions in the room. Everything else so far looked old, dusty or worn, whereas this… this looked new.  

Curious, you opened the letter and read it.

'Y/N Y/L/N,

I’m writing this on the night that we watched the stars together here. There was so much I wanted to say that night, Y/N. And you’re not here now, so this is so much easier to say but…

I love you. I have for a long time.

I really hope I actually gain the courage to give you this letter, but knowing me, it’ll probably just stay wherever I put it.  

You are the most amazing, kind, funny, accepting person I have ever met. And I’m lucky enough to have you as my best friend. But I’m selfish, Y/N. I want more with you but I know you deserve someone much better than me. That’s why I’ve never told you. But every day I see you, I come closer and closer to telling you, because no one else knows you like I do, Y/N/N. All your little quirks. I know not to even try talking to you when you’re reading your favourite book, I know you only have your hot chocolate with the white marshmallows in and I know how much you love the stars.

To me, you are impossible to comprehend in the most beautiful way because the things I love about you are never-ending.

I will forever cherish every second I get to spend with you.  

Sirius’

Eyes starting to water, you read it again and again, until you can’t bear to read it anymore. After everything, all the worry that your love was unrequited, and he said he had loved you.

Overcome with emotions, you run outside, back to where you watched the stars with him for the second time. You had never imagined coming to look at the stars ever again, you thought it would be too painful to have the good memories flooding back to you. Now, you couldn’t care less. You laid in the exact same spot as last time. If you closed your eyes, you could almost picture him lying beside you. Scanning the sky, you try and locate the brightest star in the sky. And with a pang in your heart, you noticed that Sirius shone a little brighter.

#sirius x reader #sirius black x reader #sirius black #remus lupin #lily potter #james potter #peter pettigrew #marauders era #marauders #sirius black angst #sirius angst #sirius black x reader angst #sirius x reader angst #mischiefmanaged #harry potter #harry potter angst #sirius black imagine #sirius black one shot #sirius black fanfiction #marauders imagine #marauders fanfiction #marauders one shot #harry potter fanfiction #mine

[chasingxprongs]

DO A META ON JEGULUS.

You send, I’ll Meta || Always Accepting 

I am writing this in the context of a Jegulus ship, as obviously I am of course a single ship blog now, for Jegulus. No but really, I have thoughts and a many of them so I shall take it bit by bit. 

School

It’s hard to imagine a Jegulus in school. Regulus is everything James doesn’t understand. Pureblood values, the exact opposite of Sirius in nature, but yet there’s something about him that’s intriguing. James is the brother stealer to Regulus, he’s the boy that came in and took his place. They don’t like one another, they don’t understand one another and yet seem to cross paths anyway. 

In order to make Jegulus as a ship happen in school you have to take them both away from others. It has to be secret, it has to be somewhere there’s nobody to perform for. It has to be something that’s theirs and private, otherwise you’re not going to get the real James or Regulus. You’re going to get what they think they need to be. You’re going to get pureblood snobbery and Gryffindor pride and not much else. James especially, is exceedingly good at public performance, he’s also pretty obtuse when it comes to human nature. He takes people as what they are, and it takes him maturing in order to look under the surface. 

James at first, wants to save Regulus. I don’t for one minute think this started altruistically on James’ part. He wants to be the one who influenced Regulus to make the right decision, wants to be Sirius’ hero in bringing his brother back to the fold. It’s the instinctive need to be a hero, to be the shining light that would at first bring James to Regulus. James’ stubbornness would be what kept them going, his refusal to give up once he had a goal in mind, and eventually would wear Regulus down enough to actually start to see snippets of the real him. 

He’d start to notice his sense of humour, the bits that slip through sometimes without Regulus even noticing. Maybe it’d been there all along, maybe James had just took it as snark because all he saw was a Slytherin. Maybe it’s James who changes and not Regulus. But either way, it’s there and it’s real and James can’t get enough of it. They have more in common than they think they did, they have Quidditch, they have humour, they have Sirius and they both have steadfast beliefs they’re unwilling to compromise on. Most of all, they have them. The secret of their friendship or whatever this is. 

Anything beyond would be slow to happen. Wouldn’t allow James to develop a gay crisis over a kiss as it doesn’t count. It’s secret. Their meetings are secret, their strange relationship is secret and as they never quite put a name to it, it doesn’t really matter what it is or what it means. James doesn’t ever have to acknowledge his attraction to a man, because the entirety of his relationship with Regulus exists solely in the ROR, where they meet maybe once or twice a week. Although he never does quite get round to bridging the gap between the two brothers. 

However their relationship develops in school. It is never going to have a happy ending. Regulus is always going to choose Voldemort, and James is always going to choose the light. As it gets closer to that time, as school ends and the war ramps up and James knows exactly where he’s going to go. He’d try once. He’d bring it up in a moment of desperation, needing to know once and for all which way Regulus is going to go. He’d never ask to be chosen, he wouldn’t try as hard as he should because he’s terrified of putting is all into it and having it fail. He’s terrified of what it would mean for Regulus not to choose him. 

School romance would only ever end in heartbreak, and a potential memory wipe for James. Which he’d want. Which he’d agree with. Because although he wants to remember loving Regulus, he can’t go into this fight knowing he’s fighting on the other side. School can only end in regret. 

First War 

Whether they had a thing in school or not, whether this is something James remembers or not (there are many possible Jegulus verses and stories, and many ways they can go), by the first war his reasonings have changed. James had always seen things in Black and White, Good and Evil, Slytherin and Gryffindor. He had wholeheartedly believed that Good would always win, that people would fight fair. He believed the light was going to provide victory because that was just the way it went. Light won over dark every time, that’s how it was supposed to be. Except, it isn’t like that. It’s a war they are most certainly losing. It’s a war in which James himself has escaped death and Voldemort himself multiple times. 

James doesn’t want glory in the midst of this war. He doesn’t want glory or heroism at a time his friends are dying left and right, in which his parents are dead, Remus is secretive, Peter acting strange and Sirius suspicious of everyone. He doesn’t recognise anything within the war, and although he keeps fighting, he doesn’t see it as good vs bad anymore. He doesn’t see the fallen bodies of death eaters, masks at the side of them and see a soulless being. He see’s people they went to school with. He see’s people they didn’t give much of a choice in choosing the dark, when they’d expected it of them all along. 

Finding Regulus again this time, wasn’t a way to seek out glory. It was a genuine offer of help, a genuine plea and a clever way to win the war. They share information, they talk far more than two people who had hated one another should ever talk. They spend time in a dreary muggle flat away from the violence of the world around them and it’s depressing, it’s awful and disgusting and yet somehow it’s better than being anywhere else. It’s an Island in the middle of a rough sea and soon sharing information becomes just an excuse to have something else, something more meaningful. It becomes an excuse just to see one another. 

Regulus doesn’t trust easily, has a survival instinct like no other and James can tell he doesn’t sleep. James doesn’t necessarily want to save Regulus in the way he used to feel about people, but he wants to be the reason Regulus feels safe. He wants to provide something, he wants to hold him, he wants to feel Regulus relax against him and know that he can do that, because James is there. He wants his trust and he wants to earn it. He wants so much more and is terrified and unsure that he won’t get to have it. 

Regulus and James during the war fall in love. They fall hard and fast and once they’re there, there’s no pulling back. James is a person who is all in, he wants what he wants and he won’t stop until he gets it. He can’t turn off his feelings, he can’t stop loving someone once he does and by the time the war is right there on their doorsteps, he’s done worrying about the correct people to love, or the correct gender. He lives for the couple of hours a week he gets with Regulus. 

Once again, this only happens because it’s secret. Because their relationship is conducted behind closed doors, between the two of them. The key to Jegulus I think, is that nobody else is involved. There is nobody watching or narrating their relationship, there are no outside parties or circumstances to interfere. They are two people who fall in love alone, in some sort of bubble they created with themselves and navigating the world beyond that, whilst a challenge, is one they embark on already firmly knowing how they feel for one another. They build a solid foundation because they build it alone. 

Jegulus is so beautiful to me, because it is entirely James and Regulus and absolutely nothing else. 

#good enough for kreacher (jamesxregulus) #jegulus #long post #the-defected-one

[softlysimmering]

This is a continuation of a discussion between myself and @fremione. For some reason Tumblr won’t let me reblog the thread (anyone know why?), so I’m continuing it here. The previous parts of the discussion can be found here.

“it’s still not appropriate to try to out Remus, as an adult. Great, he assumed that he was helping Sirius, why does that make it okay? He has little to no evidence and wants to ruin his life? No, that’s just a complete and utter no.”

Of course it’s ‘not appropriate’ to out Remus, because Remus was “only” guilty of unintentionally endangering students and staff, and he had already realized that and was planning to leave. But as I pointed out, it’s likely that Severus doesn’t know that when he arrives for breakfast that morning, after having stormed out of the hospital wing the previous evening, likely still believing Sirius and Remus guilty.

And honestly, if Remus had actually tried to murder another student using his werewolf -form while at Hogwarts, and if he had actually tried to help a mass-murderer kill three kids, apparently intending to use his werewolf-form again, and he then escaped punishment and was allowed to keep teaching because one influential individual, Dumbledore, refused to believe that he had done those things and used his influence to convince others of the same – then yes, outing Remus as a werewolf would in my opinion be okay, because he would then, repeatedly, have intended to use that form to kill people. And it’s not like Severus would have any other ways of removing Remus from Hogwarts to keep himself, the rest of the staff, and the students safe from harm – Dumbledore believes Remus, and has convinced the Minister of Magic.

It’s of course easy for the reader to realize that Remus didn’t do any of those things. But I also think it’s very, very understandable why Severus would be so sure that he did, considering the information available to him, and his previous experience with Remus.

Recall that Sirius did in fact try to use Remus as a murder weapon. At the time, Severus was likely told the truth by Dumbledore: that Remus had been an unwilling participant, and that he was a victim in this as well, which is absolutely true.

But later the same year, Remus is still part of the Marauders, and he’s still, despite being a prefect at the time, doing nothing to stop his friends from publicly humiliating Severus, when it’s his duty as prefect to do something. Honestly, I think few people would be able to understand why Remus apparently remains friends with Sirius, so I don’t blame Severus for not understanding. Remus’ circumstances are very unusual, with him being a werewolf who has finally found rare acceptance within a group that he most like can’t find anywhere else, so naturally he’d remain with the Marauders despite what Sirius did – whereas most other people would leave that group when Sirius wasn’t excluded from it for what he did to Remus. With Remus remaining with the Marauders, it’s easy to see why Severus would assume that Remus had been in on the ‘joke’. 

Regarding the evidence that Severus likely feels he has:

Remus remained with the Marauders, indicating that he was in on the ‘joke’ to kill Severus.

Remus comes to teach at Hogwarts the same year Sirius escapes Azkaban.

Remus did not take his last dose of Wolfsbane, making him extremely dangerous.

Remus was in the Shrieking Shack with Sirius, and had not detained Sirius.

I fail to see how Severus could possibly assume anything else. Severus has suspected all along that Remus was helping Sirius, due to their history and the suspicious coincidence of Remus coming to teach the year Sirius escapes Azkaban. Remus has just left the castle without taking his potion, and here he is with Sirius Black, in the Shrieking Shack were Severus thinks they intended to murder him. Of course he refuses to listen to them – why should he? He has finally been proven right, after Dumbledore refused to take him seriously over and over again, he’ll finally get them both for what he firmly believes they tried to do to him, and he just apprehended the man who betrayed Lily.  

Recall how Dumbledore makes it absolutely clear that there is no reason for anyone to believe Sirius to be innocent, and there’s even less reason for Severus to.

Severus also has no reason to trust Dumbledore’s judgment when it comes to the Marauders – Dumbledore let Sirius go with minimal punishment after the attempt on Severus’ life, and Sirius was then ‘proven’ to be a mass-murderer later, and was believed to be so for 12+ years.

“as Rowling showed a bit with the twins, new spells, potions, etc. have to be tested to get a perfect result. I don’t think that Snape was that great of an inventor to have a perfect spell first go. Either he managed to backfire the wand countless times, or he had to have used it on people to know. And even if he “just tried them on James” or any of the marauders that’s not okay. That would also be bullying.”

Certain spells, like Levicorpus, would most likely require test subjects, since it’s a spell that specifically targets living beings, or at least humans.

Spells like Sectumsempra? There’s nothing to suggest that Sectumsempra only works on living beings, so far as I recall.

Did Severus ever use Sectumsempra when he wasn’t being attacked? It’s possible, but it’s also possible that he didn’t.

And no, it wouldn’t necessarily be bullying if Severus used Dark Magic, even such Dark Magic as Sectumsempra, on James, even if he did it repeatedly.

Bullying is defined as:

“Bullying is unwanted, aggressive behavior among school aged children that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. The behavior is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time.” - https://www.stopbullying.gov/what-is-bullying/definition/

“Bullying is the use of force, threat, or coercion to abuse, intimidate, or aggressively dominate others. The behavior is often repeated and habitual. One essential prerequisite is the perception, by the bully or by others, of an imbalance of social or physical power, which distinguishes bullying from conflict. Behaviors used to assert such domination can include verbal harassment or threat, physical assault or coercion, and such acts may be directed repeatedly towards particular targets.” - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bullying

To determine if what Severus might have done was bullying, we’d have to ask if he, at certain times, or in certain context, would have been in a position of power over James?

Using a spell like Sectumsempra on James would certainly be a physical assault, or at best a disproportionate use of violence in self-defence. But I fail to see why it should be considered bullying, given what we know of their interactions. Of course, that doesn’t mean that Severus’ potential use of Sectumsempra was, or was always, justified. It doesn’t have to be bullying for it to be an unacceptable use of violence.

And again, none of the Marauders ever claim that Severus ‘bullied them back’, ‘was just as bad as them at times’, nothing like that. Of course, it’s technically possible that they for some reason wouldn’t share that information, but I can’t see what that reason would be. And they certainly have a good reason to share such information – to defend James’ memory to James’ son.  

 ““that’s a mutual rivalry to begin with” I was implying that it had started out that way. Not that the specific situation wasn’t. I’ve said before but again I don’t condone the situation, I’m just saying that I really doubt that a kid who used a slur, hangs out with death eater kids, is infatuated with dark arts, and becomes a death eater wasn’t antagonistic to a kid who’s stupidly noble, to an obvious fault.”

I fail to see what evidence there is for it starting as a ‘mutual rivalry’, but that might be because I’ve missed something. I’d be glad if you’d share the evidence you have for that view.

Also, Severus makes his reasons for disliking James very clear, and it has nothing to do with James’ ‘nobility’:

“‘How extraordinarily like your father you are, Potter,’ Snape said suddenly, his eyes glinting. ‘He, too, was exceedingly arrogant. A small amount of talent on the Quidditch pitch made him think he was a cut above the rest of us, too. Strutting around the place with his friends and admirers ... the resemblance between you is uncanny.’

‘My dad didn’t strut,’ said Harry, before he could stop himself. ‘And nor do I.’

‘Your father didn’t set much store by rules, either,’ Snape went on, pressing his advantage, his thin face full of malice. ‘Rules were for lesser mortals, not Quidditch Cup-winners. His head was so swollen –’”

And:

“‘I would hate you to run away with a false idea of your father, Potter,’ he said, a terrible grin twisting his face. ‘Have you been imagining some act of glorious heroism? Then let me correct you – your saintly father and his friends played a highly amusing joke on me that would have resulted in my death if your father hadn’t got cold feet at the last moment. There was nothing brave about what he did. He was saving his own skin as much as mine. Had their joke succeeded, he would have been expelled from Hogwarts.’”

And:

“’And he’s not… Everyone thinks … Big Quidditch hero –‘ Snape’s bitterness and dislike were rendering him incoherent”

 Just to share some of the moments where he makes the reasons for his hate clear.

Severus obviously doesn’t hate James because James is a stupidly noble kid and Severus is an evil Death Eater kid who hates nobility. Severus hates James because he sees James only as an arrogant rule-breaker and an attempted murderer who got cold feet, one who got away with all of that because everyone loved him just because he was a star athlete. From the memories we see, it’s not hard to see why Severus would think that – just look at how James interacts with the Marauders. We readers know that there was more to James, because we get to see James through the impression he left on other people, people he treated differently than he treated Severus, and we also know that James wasn’t involved with Sirius’ ‘joke’. But that doesn’t mean that he wasn’t just a bully to Severus. And whatever Severus might have done, whatever he might have been or become, we see that the bullying was due to the Marauders’ boredom, we hear James tell Lily that ‘it’s more the fact that he exists’, rather than, say, ‘it’s because he attacked me last week’, or ‘it’s because he hangs out with wannabe Death Eaters’, or ‘it’s because he uses slurs against people like you’.

It’s implied that Severus starts using the slur mudblood (you say slurs, plural, but there’s no evidence of that I think) sometime doing his fifth year, after Sirius’ ‘joke’. And as far as I recall, there’s no evidence of Severus doing anything but fighting back during conflicts initiated by the Marauders and following the Marauders’ around trying to get them expelled for their own wrongdoings up until their sixth and seventh year, where we hear about Severus cursing James, which was the reason James didn’t stop his behaviour towards Severus when he ‘stopped hexing people for the fun of it’.

It’s possible that Severus also cursed James outside of self-defense before that, but I can’t think of any evidence for it.

 “he was literally a death eater, even if he wasn’t infamous for torturing doesn’t mean that he never did it? He created at least one working spell that was extremely harmful. You’re going off the assumption that because no one directly says it means that he didn’t. The direct memories we get are from Snape, an extremely biased source that wanted pity and sympathy. If he was torturing anyone he’s not likely to show it.”

I didn’t claim that he couldn’t have tortured, or killed, or committed any number of other horrible crimes while a Death Eater. I was discussing authorial intent – what did JKR try to convey to her readers? What I was trying to say is, if she wanted to convey to her readers that Severus had used Dark Magic to bully/torment other students, then she had plenty of opportunities to do so: 1) through her characters Sirius and Remus, who do discuss their time at school with Severus on several occasions, but make no mention of him being cruel to others, 2) through characters like McGonagall, after Dumbledore’s death when they discuss Severus’ ‘betrayal’, who could have mentioned how he had always been a cruel/vicious boy, 3) through Severus’ memories, with the Marauders or Lily accusing him of doing something like that, 4) through Karkaroff, who could have mentioned Severus using Dark Magic to torment others during the DE trials, etc.

Sectumsempra might very well have been created after Sirius’ ‘joke’, as Levicorpus appears to come before that in the Half-Blood Prince’s book, and that spell was popular in their fifth year. Is it disturbing that a kid invents an invisible sword? Yes. Is it understandable given that he thinks his bullies want him dead? I’d say yes. I’d say it’s more a testament to how threatened and powerless he feels, rather than how cruel he is.

 “remus said “knows”. He could’ve been purely speculating beforehand.”

Yes, like I said, we don’t know if he suspected Remus of being a werewolf beforehand. It’s possible, but it’s also possible that he didn’t suspect it.

And if he did suspect that Remus was a werewolf, and he then learned that Sirius was trying to get him murdered using said werewolf, and he suspected that Remus was in on it … Would he then be wrong to want Remus exposed and both of them punished, for wanting to murder him?

#severus snape #horribly long response #so so sorry!