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britishchick09 · 2 years

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Where is rewrite?! I’m desperate for rewrite!!😊😊😊

i'm writing it! tomorrow i'll share some of the current chapter, but here's a little bonus for you ;)

Christine yawned as she trudged down the steps to the water cellar. Why did Erik want me to get up at six in the morning? she wondered. I understand why we’d rise with the sun for lessons, but no one can hear us in the water cellar no matter what time it is.

Christine’s eyelids drooped with fatigue. The darkness made her want to fall asleep right them and there!

She suddenly gave a squeak as she slipped on the incline at the end of the passage. She leaned against the wall beside her, blinking and rubbing her eyes to get rid of the tiredness.

Falling in here would be horrible. I could trip over one of the cobblestones and twist my ankle, she thought. I’m too far away for Erik to hear any cries for help and Ayesha doesn’t wander around all the time, so she might not hear either. I’d be helpless! This place is eerie and beautiful… She shivered. And dangerous.

Christine stretched as she moved away from the wall. She made sure she was wide awake before continuing on.

Once Christine reached Erik's house, she knocked on the door. Erik often answered it after a few moments, but there was nothing. Not even a note from the piano could be heard past the door. Christine waited for a minute, becoming worried when the silence continued on.

Maybe he went to the music museum. Christine surmised before noticing that his boat was parked in front of the house.

"Erik?" she asked, giving the door another knock. "Are you in there?"

When he didn't answer, she finally gathered the courage to intrude. She opened the door, noticing that the bathroom door was open. She looked forward with a gasp. Her friend was lying on the floor! "Erik!" Christine exclaimed in alarm.

Erik rolled over to see Christine rushing towards him. He propped himself up on his elbow and nonchalantly said, "Hello."

Christine crouched beside him. "Are you okay?" "Yes, I'm fine." "Then why are you on the floor?"

A mew answered and Erik said, "I know! She's ruining our fun."

Christine leaned over, seeing Ayesha just past the wall.

"She likes having little moments like this," Erik explained. "I pet her, she’s as happy as could be, we have staring contests… and I lose within a second."

Ayesha meowed with a hint of pride and stretched out her paw.

"We'll go after the princess is done with me," Erik told Christine. "I may secretly rule the opera house, but she rules me. …And Nadir since he’s my guardian, but Ayesha’s so bossy about it,” He paused at Ayesha’s annoyed meow. “Yes, you are! Especially when you wake me up early in the morning to go out,” He looked at Christine with a playfully serious expression. “Our moments end under her command."

"I’m fine with waiting for a bit. Where are we going?" Christine asked.

Erik smiled, a twinkle in his eye. "You'll see."

Christine watched as Erik lay back down, giving Ayesha's paw a stroke. The little kitty purred while Erik petted her behind the ear.

"I finished the sampler last night. It's on the table," Erik told Christine as she stepped over his long legs. "My pesky name took me until one in the morning! So much pulling out thread and pricking my finger... I should probably invest in a thimble, but it would be loose around any of my fingers. They're so skeletally thin…” Erik sighed. “But it was fun to do. Well... mostly," He stopped at Ayesha's meow and told her, "Yes, you remember that, don't you? You had just settled down to sleep in my bed and I said that very naughty word and kicked you because of the needle. Don't ever say that word or I'll banish you to the Kingdom of Music. And- again- I’m very sorry for kicking you."

Christine giggled as she picked up the sampler. “Maybe she can go with us to make up for what you did.”

"No, she’d probably cause mischief like that one time..."

Christine picked up the sampler at the table. "What happened?"

"She jumped on the organ while I was composing. As I was trying to get her down, she batted at a piece of sheet music and tore it clean through! The music was easy to rewrite, but I forgot the rest of the melody in my head and it took ages to remember it again. She hasn’t been allowed in the Museum of Music since."

“Oh no!” Christine exclaimed through a chuckle. “I hope she didn’t do anything like that to your sewing.”

“Thankfully, that was all me.”

Christine looked down at the sampler. A wrapped chocolate and a book had been added alongside Erik and Christine’s names. Christine had stitched the three eights of the year and her name the day before, leaving Erik with his name and the year’s one.

“The one is perfect! Your name looks a bit lopsided, though.” Christine noted. “I'm not used to sewing words, especially cursive words,” Erik sighed. “I’m sorry if it ruins-”

“I think it looks perfect!”

Erik sat up in surprise, making Ayesha grumble. “Y- You really think so?” “Oui, I know so,” Christine agreed with a firm nod and a smile. “It’s crooked, but that adds a certain charm to it.”

Erik smiled as Christine showed him the sampler. “It does.”

Ayesha meowed in agreement and got up, hiding underneath the bed. “Thank you!” Erik told her as he rose from the floor. “Now we can go.”

Christine crouched down and smiled as she whispered, “See you soon, Princess Ayesha!”

The little kitty mewed from her hiding spot, making Christine chuckle. She stood up to see a caped Erik holding the door for her.

“Thank you.” Christine said, giving Erik a polite smile as she walked by him.

He smiled back. “You’re always welcome.”

A few minutes later, Erik was sitting in the boat with Christine. He gave the paddle a wide stroke, allowing them to glide along. Erik was silently counting the bricks on the wall and didn’t notice Christine smirking at him. She reached out and touched the end of Erik's paddle. She lowered her hand, causing the paddle to flip out of the water! Erik shut his eyes with a wince as droplets of water fell on his head. Christine giggled before noticing something odd.

His eyelids look gray! Maybe it's just the dim lighting down here, Christine surmised. It makes me wonder what else is underneath that mask.

Erik wiped the water droplets from his hair and chuckled as he exclaimed, "Hey! What was that for?"

"For not telling me where we're going." Christine said.

“You’ll find out soon enough,” Erik rowed out of a corridor. “Very soon, in fact.”

Christine looked to her right, seeing the ladder come into view. “We’re not going to the music museum?” “No, we’re going to my vacation spot.” Erik responded with a smile.

Once they were out of the short hallway, he parked the boat against the ladder and set the paddle down before slowly standing up with Christine. They went up the wooden ladder, went down the little steps and entered the fifth cellar.

“I figured you might be tired of the same old water cellar shenanigans,” Erik said. “The cellars are new territory. …And the auditorium stage. I- I mean, if you want to go there. I know it’s a lot of walking-”

“I’d like that!” Christine replied before covering her mouth to yawn. “I wish we weren’t exploring so early, though!”

“The workers start repairing the chandelier at about seven-thirty, so we need plenty of time to see the sights.”

“Can’t you make them come later as The Opera Ghost?”

“And delay the masquerade? Of course not!” Erik said before walking on wooden planks with coral-colored pipes on the sides. “I know you’re tired, but try not to trip or lean against anything. We have to be very careful around here.”

Christine preferred to walk around the planks. She followed Erik through a hallway and they came across the world of gears and poles.

“Nadir told me these move the sets.” Christine said as she leaned against a pole.

“Indeed they do! They’re called capstans,” Erik replied, lightly touching one of the wooden gears. “The first stagehands employed at the opera house were former sailors since these resemble capstans used on ships. I sure wish I had the agility to maneuver these things! I can barely lift a petite person like you. But…” He pointed to something against the wall. “Those steel counterweights help ease the heavy burden.”

It’s no wonder Buquet was fearful all the time, Christine thought as she looked at the counterweights and the rest of the cellar. Danger was all around him! Not to mention The Opera Ghost constantly haunted him.

“As the sailors often said at sea, ‘onward ho’!” Erik declared, striding over to the concrete staircase. Christine giggled and followed Erik up the stairs. She could easily imagine Raoul calling that out on his navy ship.

The fourth cellar contained multiple heating furnaces while its hallway had an empty crate.

“I must admit, these other cellars aren’t much to look at,” Erik said as he and Christine went up the stairs. “A crate here, a furnace there… Truly, the only interesting parts below the stage are the fifth cellar and- of course- the water cellar,” Erik reached the top of the stairs. “Well… and this.”

He looked at a towering painting leaning against the left wall of the third cellar. Part of a temple was shown amongst a garden and colorful buildings.

“What is it?” Christine asked.

“A scene from Le Roi de Lahore. It’s an opera about a priestess who falls in love with a mysterious voice who speaks to her at night. She’s abducted by the story’s villain and he forces her to marry him.”

“Hmm…” Christine stroked her chin and gave Erik a knowing look. “Sounds familiar.”

Erik looked over at Christine, his face turning pink once he made the connection. “Wha- Oh, but you’re not a priestess and I’m not a king and I’d never kidnap you and force you to marry me. And we’re not in love.”

Christine shrugged as she said, “Well, it’s mostly familiar, then. You can’t deny the mysterious voice.”

Erik sighed. “You sure can’t,” he agreed, striding away from the scene. “Especially if it belongs to a ghost.”

He led Christine through the second cellar, which had a few crates and carts scattered around. Christine began to hum a little song as they walked before softly singing the words.

Hier matin je m’y levai

Laissez-moi planter le mai

Vers le bois je m’en allay

En riant tout en riant

Laissez-moi planter le mai

Moi qui suis gentil gallant!

“Brava!” Erik exclaimed with applause. “Wasn’t that the song you sang at the bistro?”

“Yes, it’s Laissez-Moi Planter Le Mai. It’s a song I used to sing with Papa.” Christine responded shyly as they walked up yet another staircase. “It’s very nice. I could see you singing it in the countryside with him. He’d be playing his violin, I’m sure.”

Christine nodded, her heart aching slightly as she recalled her father playing the song. “Someone played it on the piano at the bistro. You could play it, too!” Erik chuckled. “Indeed I could! You need to find the sheet music for it. I’m always looking for new tunes to master.”

They soon reached the top of the staircase. Just like most of the previous cellars, the first one didn’t have much.

“I didn’t think these cellars would be so empty!” Christine remarked.

Erik chuckled with a little scoff. “Good thing the horses weren’t around to hear that.”

Christine blinked in surprise. “Horses?”

“Yes, little equines that whinny and eat hay and perform in operas. When horses are needed for shows like Aida or Profeta, they temporarily live in the stables over there,” Erik explained, pointing to a wall with bars on the top. “But they don’t take the stairs like we do. That would be rather impractical.”

Christine laughed as she imagined Caesar walking up the cellar staircases.

“Instead, they take the elevator.” “It would be so nice to take an elevator to your house instead of all those stairs.” Christine said with a sigh.

“Yes, I’m sure it would. But you’d lose all that precious exercise.”

“Is that why you chose to live down here?” Christine asked, following Erik down a corridor.

“I mostly did it so no one would find me, but the immense expedition was a bonus.”

He stopped in the middle of the passageway, much to Christine’s surprise. She was about to tell him to continue walking when he opened a gray door that nearly blended in with the wall.

“Let’s take a more… mysterious way.” Erik said with a wink.

Christine followed him into a brick hallway that reminded her of the water cellar. But while that was lit up by candles, near darkness surrounded them in the secret hallway. She hugged herself with a shiver.

Just then, Christine felt something silky on her shoulders. It was Erik’s cape.

“It’s alright,” Erik said softly. “You’re safe.” Although Christine was shrouded in shadows, she felt very safe indeed.

The walk through the corridor wasn’t very long. Christine felt the cape slip away and heard Erik say, “There’s a ladder right in front of you. I think we’ll both be able to get up there at the same time.”

Christine reached out, tensing up at Erik’s chilling touch.

“Now you know how I feel whenever anyone touches me.” he said, gently grabbing her arm to guide her to the ladder.

“Sorry,” Christine apologized as she felt one of the wooden rungs. “I wasn’t expecting it.”

“It’s alright. I tense up even when expecting it. But it’s not your fault! Just…” Erik sighed. “A bad habit.”

Even though she couldn’t see him, Christine looked at Erik with a frown.

I wish you could touch without fear, she thought. Maybe someday-

She cut her thought short at the sound of Erik going up the ladder and followed him. A beam of light shone above their heads a few moments later. She squinted at the brightness that quickly filled her vision and gasped. They were backstage…

And in the floor!

Christine continued going up the ladder and turned around once she was standing on the floor. Erik was holding onto a square that stood behind his head.

“It’s a trap door!” Christine realized.

“Did you really expect The Opera Ghost to use a regular door?” Erik asked as he climbed out of the hole in the floor. “There are plenty of trap doors around here, like in the managers’ office and the library. Some might say I’m a trap door lover!” he said with a laugh. “They’re such clever little things.”

“They sure are!” Christine agreed, noticing how well the door blended into the floor.

She and Erik went to the stage and stood beside each other. Their eyes were on the same thing- the fallen chandelier. It was extremely hard to miss the immense ceiling fixture, which still stood in the middle of the aisle. Seeing the chandelier made Christine feel a wave of dread that brought her back to that awful night, when everything had gone so terribly wrong.

And yet, as the lights had gone out, a bright spot emerged from-

“So lonely.” Erik muttered through a sigh.

Christine shook off the dreadful feeling as she looked up at her friend. “You are?”

“No. I- I mean, yes, but the painting is lonely,” Erik replied, raising his head to see the angelic painting on the ceiling. “Who knew a bright sky could look so dull?”

“It’ll shine alongside the chandelier again very soon.” Christine said with a smile.

Erik smiled back and they gazed at the vast expanse of red and gold in front of them.

“Isn’t it the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen?” Christine asked in a whisper.

Erik nodded. “It’s gorgeous. But I know something that’s prettier.”

For a split second, Christine thought he was talking about her! She noticed that he was going to the right side of the stage and followed him, glad he couldn’t see her light blush.

Erik gave box five a gentle touch. “I think I have the most beautiful box in the world,” he declared before taking his hand away to look around. “But then I see the other boxes and… well… it’s tough to say!” He smiled. “But I know mine is the finest. Much better than box six over there.”

Christine looked to the far left of the stage, seeing an identical box directly across from box five. Erik stepped aside so Christine could go up to the box. She hesitated for a few moments before touching a flower on the side of his box. The tip of her finger barely brushed against the bottom edge of the box when she stood on her tip-toes.

“It’s very nice,” Christine agreed. “I love the flowers.”

“Especially the one you’re touching. I believe it’s a lily.”

“They should’ve made it a rose instead!”

Erik laughed, making Christine’s heart warm. “Did you ever notice that the marble center looks like an upside down tear drop? It fits me very well. And did you know that red was chosen not just to compliment the golden boxes, but to bring out women’s complexions?” He looked at Christine, who smiled. “I- I, uh, I’m not saying that just to impress you, I- I’m serious! There’s an actual theory out there that, uh, that red is flattering to a women’s skin tone. Personally, I think blue is more flattering- not because of you, of course! No, no, not… um…” Erik’s eyes wandered around the auditorium. “Not because of your perfectly pale, uh… um-”

“I think it’s flattering on men’s complexions, too.” Christine said, giving Erik a nudge with her arm as she clasped her hands together.

Erik looked down at his bony hands. “My ashy skin is far from perfect.”

“It doesn’t look ashy at all. It’s a bit pink.” Christine said with a wink.

Erik looked at Christine in surprise, suddenly feeling the blush underneath his mask.

Christine giggled as he looked behind him. “It’s too late to hide it now!” She followed his gaze, seeing Foyer de la Danse in the distance. “Isn’t it funny how there’s such a stunning hallway past such a sea of dingy gray?” she asked once her giggles subsided. “It is,” Erik agreed with a smile. “I, uh, I want to show you something.”

Christine followed Erik through the vast backstage.

“Did you know there’s a pipe organ hiding in plain sight?” Erik asked Christine, to which she shook her head. “It’s not what I wanted to show you, but I might as well since we’re back here.”

He led her to the left side of the stage’s entranceway, pointing to a gated platform on the wall. Wood stood on the platform and a rectangle with metal bars was just above the lumber.

“That doesn’t look much like an organ,” Christine remarked. “It’s certainly not like yours!”

“Like I said, it’s hiding. But they don’t take it out into the light very often. Large temperature differences and dust from the stage settings have caused it to suffer,” Erik sighed. “Poor thing. Well, at least there’s one organ still working around here. Two, actually. But the other organ is the old gas lighting system.”

“And if one of them played loud enough, it can be heard on the stage.” Christine added with a wink.

Erik chuckled and led Christine to Foyer de la Danse. He glanced up at the portraits on the ceiling before spotting the little piano in the corner of the foyer. “This is what I wanted to show you.” Something tells me otherwise, Christine thought, going into the foyer with Erik and taking a look at the portraits. Perhaps he wanted to say something about these-

“I think you’ll enjoy this song I learned recently,” Erik said, snapping her back to the piano. “It’s called Rage Over a Lost Penny.” Christine giggled. “Is that really the name of the song?”

“Yes! I think I know what Beethoven was doing just before he wrote it. Although you’d never guess that from its formal name- Rondo alla ingharese quasi un capriccio,” Erik rolled his ‘r’s while saying the Italian title. “It means ‘Rondo in the Hungarian style, almost a caprice’. It was a favorite with audiences ninety years ago, and it’s certainly one of mine!”

Christine ducked underneath the barre, sitting on the pale sage green loveseat as Erik played the song. It was a lively tune with the quickest notes Christine had ever heard!

Erik finished the song a minute later, smiling as he asked, “Was that fast enough for you?”

“I never knew Beethoven could write something so fun!” Christine remarked. “He seemed so stoic.” “He definitely wasn’t the jolliest of composers. The song is meant to portray harmless frustration, but I’d say it sounds like someone running away from more important things.”

Christine noticed that Erik was giving her a look. “Are you talking about me?”

“Yes, I’m talking about you! The masquerade- you know, the event celebrating our fallen comrade over there- is in two weeks. You haven’t even thought about it. I greatly appreciate all the time we’ve spent together, but I know you’re using me to distract yourself from the party. I’m not just your Angel of Music… I’m your Angel of Diversion.”

“I-”

Erik’s look intensified.

Christine lowered her head with a heavy sigh. “You’re right, I haven’t thought about it as much as I should. I’m so overwhelmed! I don’t know what to wear and the thought of so many people being there makes me terribly anxious and they might want me to sing and what if something goes wrong like the chandelier-”

Erik slammed his hands on the keys. “Christine!” He let the echoed notes linger in the air for a few moments as Christine stared at him in surprise. “You’ll be fine. The only music at a masquerade is a little orchestra, no singing involved. Yes, there will be a lot of people and yes, it’s very horrible for introverts like us, but it’ll be a grand time for you! Everything will go alright. And besides, you have friends to help you with your costume,” He swiftly rose from the piano seat and strode up to Christine, putting his hands on his hips as he said in a playfully stern voice, “Now I want you to march out of this auditorium and work on that masquerade. Understand, little lady?”

Christine giggled as she put her hands on her hips. “Aye, aye, towering gentleman!” she said with a firm nod. “Let’s get this party started once and for all!”

#ask #i wanted to share this for the may 19th history post but it would've made that so long! :o #the whole rewrite is long actually! ;)#it's at 253 pages so far... the longest story i've ever written! :o (the second longest is 202)#it usually takes me years to write a story at this length but it's easier when the plot is already there ;)#idk what i'll do with it after i'm done besides have it sit with all the other stories i've completed #my dream is to have it published alongside those #then the whole story fam will be on shelves! (even the adopted rewrite kiddos) :D #who knows what the future holds! ;)#but for now enjoy these little snippets ;)#and this absolutely adorable part! :D #poto rewritten

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kerink · 1 year

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in light of people's confusion over cecil's longevity in @sexymanotd i wanted to document a bit of his history for those unfamiliar or nostalgic

welcome to night vale is a podcast written by joseph fink and jeffrey cranor. cecil gerschwin palmer is the main character and voiced by cecil baldwin.

it debuted on june 15, 2012 it reached its peak in popularity in 2013-2014

despite this, wtnv has been one of tumblr's top fandoms since staff started tracking fandom-related data in 2014

for the longest time the only thing we knew about cecil's appearance was: "He is wearing a tie. He is not tall or short. Not thin or fat." and that wasn't until episode 19 which aired march 15, 2013. for almost a full year we had no idea what cecil looked like. so tumblr's collective unconscious kicked into high gear and we did what we do best

we created a tumblr sexyman

from know your meme: "Defining traits of the archetype include skinny body type, trickster or villain role and dapper clothing."

know your meme identifies wheatley (portal 2, 2011) and the onceler (the lorax, 2012) as being likely tumblr's first sexymen. and the onceler fandom was at its peak in 2012-2013, the same time as wtnv. in addition to this, the hannibal fandom has been cited as one of the contributing factors to wtnv's success on tumblr.

so tumblr had created an archetype that worked and the wtnv fandom was made up of mostly hannibal fans - the foundation for putting cecil in a suit was there. and honestly? cecil's at work in the show, why wouldn't he be well dressed?

however, while this explains his attire it doesn't explain some of cecil's more unique sexyman features, namely the tentacles. for this we have to return to the 2014 fandom review analysis where you can see the most popular fandom at the time: homestuck

haven't you ever wondered why almost a quarter (189/923 at time of writing) of E rated wtnv fics on ao3 are tagged tentacles or tentacle sex? why cecil having tentacles for a dick is such a seemingly popular headcanon? well look no further then homestuck cultural hold over.

throughout all of this, the development of the sexyman archetype on tumblr and the rise of homestuck, one creator really stands out: kinomatika

kino was one of the most popular homestuck artists on tumblr at the time, popular for their eridan fanart. if you google image search "welcome to night vale" kino's art is still one of the first results you'll get

their design was so popular in fact it was featured in wtnv related articles from the time

and yes there were absolutely other artists giving cecil tentacles and moving tattoos at the time, but it can't be understated the reach kino had and the influence their homestuck roots had on their design choices

i recommend going through the archive of @nightvaleartclub to see how cecil used to be portrayed back in the early days. unfortunately the earliest fanart i've been able to find is july 2013 and i find it hard to believe it took tumblr a year to draw him. although, i started listening at episode 5 and didn't start drawing him until then myself so who knows...

cecil has had tumblr's heart in a vice grip since episode 1, with "20,000 posts, 183,000 blogs and 680,000 notes using the #Night Vale tag" during its first week. tumblr's love for wtnv has always been fairly genuine, from the impact the writing has had on tumblr humor and future story telling, to how wtnv paved the way for lgbt+ representation in indi media, to how it popularized podcasts as a medium for story telling, to the little comforts some of cecil's quotes still bring people today

cecil is not only a founding father of tumblr culture, but also a blorbo of the people. cecil the character in canon has a tumblr account where he posts his art and slash fanfiction.

although cecil's character has developed over time and we've come to see what a ditzy, eccentric, brat he really is, changing his status from sexyman to babygirl, cecil is absolutely a character you should embrace. and you know what... despite what i've said in the past

#cecilsweep

[ID: Images one and two are Google analytic graphs for the search terms "welcome to night vale" and "wtnv" between June 15, 2015 and January 27, 2023. They both depict very sharp spikes around 2013-2014 until the lines decrease greatly over time.

Image three is a drawing of Cecil from Welcome To Nightvale. He is white, with white hair, glasses, a third eye on his forehead, and he is wearing a suit. In the background is the silhouette of a neighborhood from the WTNV official art, a galaxy, and a moon. It is tinted purple. Image four is the always has been meme. Instead of the earth is the tumblr logo, and the text is: “a wtnv fansite?” “Always has been”. End ID] id thanks to @princess-of-purple-prose

#wtnv #welcome to night vale #sexymanotd #cecilsweep

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attorney-aces · 2 years

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g o d idk what it is about aa that gives me so much brainworms I've never been as motivated to write in my entire life as I am about the eight bajillion aa fanfics I'm thinking about I am. Rotating them in my mind always.

#originals #i cannot stress enough how fair play is the longest thing i've ever written #and I wrote an honors thesis and a master's thesis #the fact that I finished a multichapter fic is mindblowing to me #now i've got the persuasion au and I have vague plans for more mechaverse vignettes #plus TWO franmaya fics i've started but mostly have on the back burner #one I just started today and want to post for femslash february #i want to actually finish writing the whole thing before i start posting #which again just absolutely mind boggling #god i love these little blorbos

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writingmeraki · 11 months

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you're no good for me.

a min ho oneshot !

summary : five times you thought he didn't care and the one time he showed you he did.

( or five times you were oblivious to how much he truly cared and the one time he made it obvious. )

genre : angst ( a bit? ) fluff, comedy ( attempts )

pairing : minho x gn!reader, e2l, frenemies to lovers! idiots to lovers!

warnings : cussing, descriptions of blood,injuries and bruises, reader is pretty oblivious, mentions of underage drinking, kissing, kinda messy :/// ( lmk if i missed anything pls. )

author's note : i don't even know what to say tbh ? this is so much longer than I thought to the point where I think I may have rushed the ending lmfaoooooooo welp I hope u enjoy this still haha <3 sorry for the wait 🤕🤕🤕 ( my own lovers to enemies arc with this fic bcoz I overthought as usual ) let me know what you think !!! also anon pls the angst was less but like it was a v lighthearted fic from the beginning asdfgh- i still hope u like it 😔<3 also also i kinda have a little drabble as a continuation for this but I'll see if i wanna post it based on your feedback hehe so let me know! ( barely proofread <3 )

word count : 11.6K ( longest oneshot i've ever written omll )

based on this request !

THE FIRST TIME.

"Fuck why do I feel like someone just pounded my head with a hammer?!"

You groaned as you woke up from your sleep or rather lack of sleep. You'd only been able to get barely 2 hours of sleep when you'd gotten back from the party last night

A party that you didn't even want to go to but were emotionally blackmailed to and even worse it was fucking Minho's party.

Technically, it's his fault you're in this state of crankiness.

You were sitting up on your bed, hair in all directions as you nursed the headache you'd gotten. Lack of sleep really gave you the worst of headaches and it didn't help you'd drunk a little, not more than a few sips, but the after-effect was definitely there.

You hissed as your bare feet touched the cold floor before you finally found your fuzzy bunny slippers you'd gotten as a gift from Kitty.

You dragged yourself out of your room, now being able to make out people talking on the other side.

"Well look who we have here looking like an absolute angel."

"Shut it Minho."

The retort came out like second nature as Minho smirked at your state despite the tiny concern that flashed across his face when he saw you holding your head as you sat on the floor between Kitty and Q who only shared a look when they definitely didn't miss that flash of concern.

You looked at Q, questioning "So why are we having a family meeting here?"

"We were just having a discussion about weird dreams." Kitty answered you and you looked at her, humming and suddenly a light bulb lit up from your only two alive braincells.

"You had a sex dream." Both Q and you said at the same time, him sitting up while a smirk just formed on your face.

"Was it about Dae?" Q asked holding his coffee in his hand. Kitty's eyes widened and shook her head immediately.

"So it wasn't about Dae, huh." You said as you wondered, your slightly swollen eyes blinking in thought.

"No! No I didn't say I had a sex dream." Kitty tried defending herself.

You lightly snorted, yawning a bit, "You didn't have to though."

"Exactly now spill." Q continued and you noticed movement from behind and saw Minho coming, with three mugs in his hand, handing one to Kitty and one to you.

He was oddly quiet and stiff, now wondering what made him like that because he'd definitely would have said something snarky by now.

"-dreams don't mean anything!" Kitty's voice pulled you out of your thoughts and you sipped your coffee skeptically hoping it's not poisoined, but you hummed in satisfaction at the sweetness that contrasted the bitterness.

It was exactly how you liked it. Not too bitter like how people would usually drink it, you preferred it sweet because you had a huge sweet tooth.

Minho's gaze shifted towards you, recalling something as he swallowed nervously when he saw the small grin on your face.

"She's right! They don't mean anything." He suddenly looked towards Q who was already looking at him with his eyebrows raised, sipping his own cup.

Your eyes opened and you lazily looked at Minho, whose body language seemed even more stiff now.

"You could have a sex dream about someone you've repulsed your whole life." You looked in confusion at his words, one eyebrow raised.

Kitty agreed "Yes, yes exactly thank you Minho."

"He could have a sex dream about someone like…Y/N!"

You almost choked on your coffee before you spat out what was in your mouth, as Minho had a similar reaction.

"So you had a sex dream about Y/N." Q said as if it was the most obvious thing and you looked at him in horror.

"Hello?? Why are you talking about me as if I'm literally not here?" You were ignored as Minho quickly defended himself,

"No I didn't." He said, avoiding looking at you as you continued to stare at him with your eyes widened.

"And if I did have a sex dream about Y/N, it'd be a sex nightmare." You scoffed at his words while Kitty whispered Oh my God.

"Please, you'd be lucky to even have me in your dreams let alone real life." You spoke before you could think about it.

"So you still had sex?" Q piped up and Minho quickly blurted,

"Dreams don't mean anything! Besides I hate Y/N!" He said sparing a glance at you who just seemed confused at where this conversation had led up to.

"Wait a minute-"

"We're getting late! I still uh need to get ready!" Minho said turning around before you could even question anything, not being able to see how red his face had gotten as he ran to his room and slammed the door shut.

Blinking once and twice, you looked at Kitty and Q,

"So can someone just tell me what happened?"

They indeed didn't tell you anything, or rather didn't get a chance to before the door was knocked on and in came in your advisor, telling you about how you all had gotten Saturday detention and hoped last night was worth it.

You groaned as he left, holding the cup of coffee mumbling curse words. The same cup of coffee, that was exactly how you liked it, that was made by Minho. Something you didn't even realize how he knew your perfect order.

THE SECOND TIME.

You'd rather be watching paint dry than be in this boring detention.

Saturday flew in and in no time, were you already sitting in the library for your eight hour detention.

You groaned as you leaned forward, wanting to drop your head on the table before a hand placed itself between it and the hard surface of the table, making you hit it softly and for a second you thought about how warm it felt.

"You'll damage the tiny amount of brain cells you have in there." Minho's voice mocked you, as you looked up, your chin laying on his hand.

Glaring, you didn't even realise how he gulped at how you'd still maintain physical contact by not lifting your head up.

"Screw you." You scoffed, sitting straight up,

"Why am I even sitting with you?" You questioned crossing your arms and the scowl didn't leave your face.

"Maybe you finally realized how obsessed you are with me and felt like you had to be closer to me." He said with that annoying smirk plastered on his face.

You snorted, "Please it's only because it was the only seat available!"

The smirk didn't leave his face, only growing wider as he leaned in to whisper in your ear,

"All I'm hearing is excuses." His voice rang in your ears, noticing the rasp and how deep it sounded, swallowing nervously, you didn't know why you felt like your heart would jump out of your chest.

You leaned away from him, rolling your eyes, brushing away what you felt as irritation from being around Minho too much.

You shivered due to the temperature in the library being too low for your liking, the air conditioning being colder than you would have kept it.

You internally cussed at yourself for wearing a crop top instead of bringing an extra sweater with you,forgetting it's usually chilly in there.

Minho noticed the shiver, rolling his eyes, he suddenly began taking off his own bomber jacket. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion but they relaxed when you felt a sudden warmth engulf you.

"You'll catch a cold and it'll end up infecting everyone." He scolded you before you could even say anything, words dying down before you could even question his actions, too stunned.

You just blinked at him, mumbling a small thanks to which he just sent you a curt nod, his attention back to the doodling he'd been doing in his book.

"Did he just-"

"Yes. Yeah he did."

Kitty questioned to which Yuri answered both stunned at what they'd just seen.

"Don't they, I don't know, hate each other?" Yuri asks, confused looking back at Kitty.

"Guess hate and love are two sides of the same coin, afterall huh?" Kitty spoke up.

They both paused and looked at each other, bursting out in giggles.

THE THIRD TIME.

You stared at the clock, your eyes fixated on the minute hand that moved agonizingly slow, your head resting on the palm of your chin that was using your right arm as a stand.

You sighed mumbling to yourself about how time seemed to be against you.

“Instead of boring your eyes into the clock, maybe if you paid attention to what was being taught, your tiny brain could finally excel in this.”

You rolled your eyes and turned your head towards the boy who sat beside you.

Pausing a bit when you realised how the sunlight from the window literally made it seem like he glowed, his cheekbones highlighted by it and his lips seemingly more plump and pinker as he spoke.

Minho’s attentions wasn’t on you though, at least it would seem like that because he was staring ahead, his focus on his notes as he wrote what was being taught, his hands splayed across his notebooks.

Even when he sat, you noticed he still seemed taller than you. Sometimes you even wonder how you always end up next to him.

“I’d say take a photo and it would last longer but I’m pretty sure you already have enough of those with you, stalker.” He said, taking a peak at you from the corner of his eyes, a smirk forming on his face when he saw you scoffing.

“As if, besides since when did you care about me paying attention or not.” Minho stopped for a second at your words, hand freezing mid way from his note taking and it was now his turn to roll his eyes at you.

“Because you’re a distraction.” He spoke lowly, making sure you were the only one who heard, and only now you noticed you’d both been murmuring amongst each other as if you were friends just gossiping.

Not wanting to argue more, you just sighed and looked ahead,

“Ugh, whatever.”

You looked down at your own notebook, narrowing your eyes when you saw you’d only written half a page and stealing a glance at Minho’s, your eyes now widening when you counted that he was already on what seemed like his third page.

Damn I really must have zoned out.

Now you just thought of your options, either you skip some pages and just write what was being taught at the moment, finishing what you missed afterwards.

Clicking your tongue, you just closed your notebook, slightly pushing it away. Knowing being at the way back in a crowded classroom was helpful at times like this but having Alex as your professor being another advantage, you folded your arms on the table and plopped your head onto it sideways.

You sighed, relieved at the position, even though it may seem uncomfortable, but at the time, it felt just right.

You shut your eyes, the last thing you saw being Mingo from the way you had positioned your head, with you facing towards him and let yourself be surrounded by the temporary darkness.

“So you’re just going to sleep during the lecture?”

“Yep.” You said still with your eyes closed.

“I barely got any, considering the Vampire Diaries marathon Kitty and I had last night.”

You mumbled, feeling yourself give in to your dreamland.

“You both are terrible roommates because who even has a series marathon in the middle of a school week?” Minho asked you scoffing, turning his head to his left so he could look down at you.

You opened one eye and put your tongue out childishly to mock him,

“Only the fun kind of roommates, now shut up and do your work, let me sleep.”

“You seriously need to be more responsible, I mean come on, you have dark circles right now.” He whisper yelled as he scanned your face.

“Okay mum. I’ll make sure of it.” You murmured to him, the last of your words being softer as you finally gave in to your dreams.

Minho sighed when he heard you exhale softly, seeing the way the sun reflected on your face.

He wondered how you could just fall asleep but then again he knew you’d probably stayed awake just to give company because he knew you didn’t even like The Vampire Diaries.

You’d once told how lame you found it that the only relevant plot was two brothers fighting for a girl, and how it was ridiculously stupid.

He moved his body a bit forward, so that the sunlight could not fall on your face, and upon that the scrunch in your brows relieved unconsciously. He reached his hand forward to tuck away the hair piece that seemed to bother you. His fingertips lingering on your cheek and you leaned into the touch unknowingly.

Pulling his hand away, he gently smiled at you, shaking his head fondly as he brought back his attention to what was being taught.

[ a few moments later ]

“Wake up sleeping beauty, it’s time.” You heard as you felt someone flick your forehead.

Groaning you swatted away the hand, as you slowly rose up, rubbing your eyes, and blinking a few times as you tried recalling who you were and where you were.

“Seems like someone’s nap time was well.” Minho smirked at you, packing his books away to which you turned to him and glared.

“Hope you dreamt of me well!” He said a grin on his face now as your lips pulled into a thin line.

“Yeah it’d be more of a nightmare if you showed up in my dreams.” You said rolling your eyes, and gathering your own notebook, realising it was pretty pointless to have even removed it today as you basically barely wrote anything.

You pulled your bag up to the desk and tucked away your book.

Minho slid a book towards you, making you pause your movements as you glanced at him in question.

“Here, today’s class work and homework as well, if you don’t get something, considering you probably won’t, come to the library after school is over.” He said standing up, to which you still looked between him and the book in question, skeptical of his sudden act of…kindness?

“Stop staring idiot, you’ll get late.” He said as he slowly walked away, you thought about it and grabbed his notebook, putting it in between your own and standing up, sliding one strap on your shoulder.

“Thank…you?” You said turning around noticing he was already gone.

Huh, weird. Well that was nice of him…for once.

You shook your head, walking out as well, realizing you indeed learn something new about him every time.

THE FOURTH TIME.

It was another outing of the nature club you'd join in support of Kitty's new venture of wanting to do new things.

Although initially, you'd reluctantly agreed but you'd learn to enjoy it once you spent more times with nature.

Though sometimes you wish you could just jump off the cliff because lo and behold, Minho had also spontaneously joined it as well.

Over time, you'd just learnt to ignore his shit, just paying attention to your surroundings and focusing all your energy on that.

You didn't even notice how he'd always be trailing beside you though, since the beginning of it actually.

But of course those around you did.

Q and Dae looked at their best friend, both wondering the same thing.

"Do you think he notices?" Dae asked as they hiked up, Q looked at him in question and followed his gaze, perceiving what he meant.

“He is still in denial as to why he even joined this club in the first place, remember how much I tried convincing him to join but he always refused with bullshit excuses but suddenly when Y/N joins, he’s apparently thought about it well and understood it was good to be one with nature, hence why he would be joining.”

Dae shook his head, chuckling as he recalled the denial on his face from when they confronted him about it.

“I don’t even think he realizes that Q, let alone how he always seems to be beside them when he gets the chance.” Dae said, staring at the pair of you, you seemed more than happy to be there as Minho skeptically walked beside you.

Suddenly an arm was placed in front of you, making you suddenly freeze in your place and your gaze followed it to the owner, confusion flooding your mind as you looked at Minho in question.

He moved in front of you and knelt down on one knee, to which your eyes widened and you looked around to see if anyone else was seeing this.

Hissing at him, more so in confusion, "What the hell are you doing?"

He scoffed and pointed down at your shoes, more so your shoe laces.

"You'll literally trip on them and fall on your face resulting in you getting hurt and you'll end up causing problems."

Once again, your mouth gaped at him as he went back to his task which was tying your shoelaces.

At times, he truly did confuse the ever living fuck out of you. Because for one he'd be doing the nicest things but then the gesture would be contradicting with what he would have to say afterwards.

You noticed how strands of his hair moved out of place as a result of him looking down to focus on tying your laces.

You bit your lip to control the smile from spreading on your face and he got up, dusting his hands.

"You know you should be grateful that I decided to be with you right now otherwise your clumsy ass would have probably broken a foot by now."

There it was. The contradicting words to his gestures.

Not wanting to start an argument, you just sighed and shook your head, mumbling a thanks as you walked ahead, having been left behind by a few paces.

Minho glared at you, taking a few steps to catch up with you,

"That was mean of you." He said and you took a side glance at him to see a frown on his face and you sighed once again,

"Thank you so much Minho, whatever would I have done if it weren't for your presence."

You grinned widely, blinking your eyes forcefully as you fluttered your eyelashes.

Before he could speak again, you turned forward and rolled your eyes, continuing your hike.

When you reached the top view, you could see the entire city of Seoul and just how mesmerizing it looked.

As a whole it looked breathtaking, the tall buildings and the miniature figures doing about their own things, the sky's colours contrasting the shades, the sun setting slowly as the last warmth of it bled on your face.

You didn't even notice Minho was right beside you, admiring the city view as well. Though his eyes naturally drifted towards you, even if he never wanted them to but it seemed like second nature to him now, his eyes finding you anytime you were around.

Your own sparked as you took in the little details of the view, unknowingly a smile forming on your face making the tiny depths form on your cheeks. Your hair slightly moving from the soft breeze and you'd laugh at the timing but you didn't notice that as you were too in your own world.

Blinking, he felt his own heart flutter as he whispered so tenderly, you probably wouldn't have heard him if he weren't next to you,

"Beautiful, you really are beautiful."

Looking beside you, you were once again left speechless when you saw who it was, and pretended you didn't hear, asking

"Sorry what was that?"

That seemed to snap him out of his gaze as he looked in front, coughing into his hand, sounding more fake than real,

"Uh, I meant that the view is really beautiful! Yeah the view…" He looked to the other side to make sure you wouldn't see the redness forming on his face.

You just nodded at him, turning your attention back in front of you,

"It is, isn't it? It was definitely worth the hike!"

You beamed as you put your hands on your hips, happy with the end result of the exhausting hike.

"Anyways we should be heading down now, if we were to reach before nightfall."

You paused looking around and found Q and Dae already looking at you both, you waved them over.

"Q! Dae! Why didn't I see both during the hike up?"

"Maybe cause someone wouldn't leave you and your attention was on him mostly." Q murmured to which, luckily you didn't seem to catch what he said as you raised an eyebrow.

Dae nudged Q with his elbow on his stomach, to which Q hissed in a little pain.

"That was so unnecessary!" Dae still kept his smile,

"What he meant was, you seem preoccupied but really we were trailing behind too." He told, his eyes shifting to Minho's for one second when he said preoccupied and you noticed this.

"Well let's all go together for the hike down?"

Minho wanted to protest but he realised it'd probably seem suspicious and knowing how his best friends were, they'd figure it and look into this more than he would like them too.

Plus he wasn't entirely sure why he detested the idea of not being able to be with you only for the hike down.

He hated your guts didn't he? He only just…taught you were too clumsy and stupid, as well as unserious.

At least that was what he kept convincing himself, yet it was far more obvious to everyone around you except yourselves that there was definitely more than just animosity.

And as you began going down the steps, you almost tripped as your leg got caught in a root but lucky for you, there was Minho by your other side, who'd pulled your arm to make sure you didn't fall right on your face.

"Seriously if it weren't for me, you'd probably end up dead by now."

His hand still on your arm, the contact making you feel warmer than you should and for a second your eyes drifted towards his lips as you thought about just how close you were to him.

You pulled away your arm and gulped, nodding at his words nonchalantly as you couldn't get the image of his lips out of your mind, as much as you hated it.

Q and Dae again, shared a look as if silently communicating,

Yep, there's more to this than just animosity.

THE FIFTH TIME.

Frowning at the big red F on your Korean Literature test, you felt like bursting into tears.

Really it wasn't your fault you were bad at adjusting to the language, after all it'd only been a few months since you were taught about it afresh.

Kitty sighed at your frowny face, texting your shared group chat about canceling today's movie night for the time being, your phone on silent since you'd gotten the test.

kitty loml 💗 : guys no movie night today, y/n's not feeling too well :((((

You didn't even notice it but Minho immediately texted in the group chat when he read the message.

minhoe 👹 : what happened????

dae my bae 🥳 : wow look who spawned in this "lame gc" 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

👑 : ohhh he's right tho but srsly what happened? are they alright???

kitty loml 💗 : Korean Lit happened 😶

👑 : Ohhhh yikes.

Kitty set aside her phone and looked back at you before you spoke,

"What am I doing wrong? I'm trying my best and it just seems pointless now." You feel tears of frustration forming as you yanked the paper away because it just seemed like the red mark was taunting you.

"Y/N, you know it's not your fault, Korean is really hard to learn afresh and see your Korean is way better than mine already!"

She tried cheering you up and you just shook your head.

"No Kitty, I've been learning this longer than you have and it's not even helping me at all if this is the end result!" You wiped harshly at the tears that poured out, your voice snapping at the end.

You sighed as you saw Kitty flinch, not in fear but more so in surprise because she didn't expect you to snap, yet she knew everyone had their own days.

Exhaling softy, you spoke "Sorry, I didn't mean to snap, I'll just…I'm going to take a shower to cool down."

Before she could reply, you turned away, walking to your room, before you slammed your door shut harsher than you wished.

👑 : how's the situation?

kitty loml 💗 : wellll they've gone to take a shower now, but they are pretty upset.

👑 : oh that's not great.

minhoe 👹 : wait guys, what flavour of Pocky was their favourite again? Cookies and cream or chocolate?

kitty loml 💗 : y r u asking this out of nowhere and I'm pretty sure it's just plain chocolate.

dae my bae 🥳 : oh wait didn't you read the previous messages? anyways it was a pretty long thing but in short Minho went to the grocery store to get some snacks for Y/N cause he's "sure" they haven't eaten yet because of how 'forgetful" they are

👑 : code for comfort snacks for an upset y/n to make them feel better because i care but won't admit it.

minhoe 👹 : gosh you all are do fuckinf annoying

kitty loml 💗 : and you are so fucking whipped

👑 : oop pretty sure i can see him blushing all the way from here

dae my bae 🥳 : he just cussed out loud and now we're getting glared at by some grandma, good going minHOE 👹

slayest of the slayers 🙏 : lol

👑 : OMGFJZJZ HIII HELLO R U OKAYY???

kitty loml 💗 : i thought the giggles were me going insane but it was you okay.

slayest of the slayers 🙏 : one way to say i live in ur mind 😈😈 and yes Q, i am fine for now at least, I'll figure out how to conqure this stupid subject somehow.

minhoe 👹 : plzzz it'd be like having a demon in ur head

👑 : YOU shouldn't say that when y/n is probably in ur mind all day and also feel free to message any of us for help when u need it!

You turned off your phone, laughing as you heard the notifications in your group chat blow up.

You'd gotten out of the shower, feeling way better than you had but still just choosing to lay in your bed when you noticed your notifications were piling up.

You giggled when you read through the chats, intervening and feeling your heart at ease when you thought about your friends worrying over you and checking up on you.

You were grateful to have found them, especially considering you were so new and awkward when you joined KISS, thinking you'd never make friends but now you could proudly say you loved them with all you had.

Though as you laid, gazing up at the celing lit up with lights from outside, you thought of one particular person whose actions nowadays made you more confused than anything.

It was Minho, of course.

Lately it seemed he'd taken a place in your mind, ironically having flashbacks to your conversation in the group chat about you occupying his mind but it was more of the opposite on your side.

At least that was what you thought.

You thought over every gesture of his, everytime he seemed to show he cared but then you recalled his harsh words those times and stepped back a bit from your fantasies.

He was too different anyways, a star out of your reach, a boundary you feared to cross, a line that was the more blatant.

So why did your heart feel heavier at the idea of him being out of league?

You gulped when you mentally weighed your options, closing your eyes and thinking of his annoying smirk but even more his annoyingly pretty smile that was rare but when you did see it, it did something to you that made you feel all fuzzy. His annoying hair that always had strands misplaced which you always itched the urged to tuck them back gently, his soft lips, his eyes-

A knock on your door woke you up and you got up putting your hand on your chest.

The pattering in it making it feel like you just ran a whole marathon.

You rose up and quietly walked to your door.

You think you almost puked your guts out of nervousness when you saw who was on the other end.

"You need to check on your messaging skills." You stayed frozen as Minho pushed you aside and entered your room as though he owned the place. It was like something he had that once he entered a room, it naturally became his place.

You noticed he had a bag of something in his hands and you remembered the texts in the group chats.

"Oh wait, did you really?" You asked pointing towards the bag,as he plopped down on your bed, looking at you while rolling his eyes.

"Of course, I know you'd probably starve yourself if you could, that's why I bought something for you." He said and you made your way towards him, a little skeptical and your nerves didn't seem to have calmed.

You sat down beside him, a bit of distance between you two yet you still felt a bit dizzy considering this was probably the first time he'd been in your room.

He pushed the bag towards you, looking at you expectantly.

"Here, it's mostly what you like, as far as I know." You looked through the assortment and indeed, it was like all of your favourites in one.

Your mind couldn't wrap around the fact that it was Minho out of everyone that remembered all your favorite snacks. A little detail but you found it fluttering when someone would remember the smallest things about you. Only this time it felt like your heart would jump out of your chest as you thought about this.

"Well, are you feeling better now?" You snapped your head towards him, nodding absentmindedly.

"Look. Since I am feeling nice, I'll help you out. I can tutor you between 5-7 every Wednesday and Friday at the library. I checked your schedule and saw you were also free those days-"

"Wait what? Where did you even get my schedule???" You genuinely asked confused trying to comprehend his words.

"Out of all that, that's what you want to know?" Rolling his eyes, he crossed his arms "I saw it during the start of the year, to see which classes I'd have to tolerate you in and mentally prepare myself for."

"..." You narrowed your eyes at him suspiciously.

"Oh…Kay?" You said more so questionably, wondering if you'd ever invest your time in someone like that, especially if it were someone you don't like.

He got up to leave, not wanting to embarrass himself more than he thought he did.

"Well uh…I am gonna go now, don't be late! Or I swear I'm never doing anything nice for your dumbass ever again!Don't forget to eat those, seriously I spent money and my precious time in those." He rushed to your door, turning back one last time to you.

"...Just…just next time, ask for help when you need it alright? And it's okay to not do well at times even if you do your best, sometimes it's not your fault." He looked at you expectantly to which you just nodded, still flabbergasted by his actions since he arrived.

He gave one last nod and turned around, slamming the door closed.

What the fuck just happened ?

You asked more so to yourself as you looked the bag in your hands, Minho's words ringing in your head, him offering to tutor you, actually telling you he'd be tutoring you.

Just him. Him and his…kind gestures?

You groaned, setting the bag down beside your bed and falling flat on your bed.

You stared at the ceiling looking for answers for questions you didn't even know about.

And suddenly a sentence rang through your mind.

Gasping loudly as you sat up, wide eyed as an epiphany hit you,

Fuck.

I think I like him.

I like Minho.

THAT ONE TIME.

As a normal person would when they come to be able to identify the confusion and chaos their mind was in and why they were in that state, you did one thing.

Avoid it and the cause of it.

In other words, as a way to deal with the realization of your liking, you decided to just avoid Minho at all costs, at least until it would come to bite you eventually.

You knew your friends noticed your behavior, how you'd basically changed routes and even certain classes, pouring excuses like you couldn't study during that time and it was better to change.

The new revelation caused a lot of changes in the way you saw of his actions. It definitely didn't help when you would recall at the times he'd done them late in the night and it would leave you with a hope that was only growing higher.

Only to come crashing down when you would think about how he might not even see you in the same way, maybe it was just as a friend.

Frenemies.

A term you learnt and as much as you felt like it certainly fit your dynamic, it still left a bitter afterthought that you hated because you knew you wanted more.

Much more.

As you sat down in a cafeteria in Seoul to study, yes you'd gone that far as to avoid studying at the campus just to avoid bumping into Minho.

And to your misfortune,Minho did notice though, how you didn't show up to the library for your planned study session that you'd confirmed but cancelled last minute, how you didn't even reply to messages in the group chat, excuses like you were busy with work and assignments.

He'd scoff when you pulled that excuse, as if you weren't in the same grade and didn't have the same workload. When he would ask Kitty or Q or anyone actually, they'd also have similar answers, not knowing where you were or you were locked in your room most of the time when Kitty would come to ask you for anything.

You felt guilty for avoiding your friends like that, even Minho didn't deserve that especially considering he'd even offered to help you.

With a sigh, you opened your books and tried to study at least until it was near time to go back to your dorms.

[ a few hours later ]

After a somewhat successful study session of you attempting to finish your Korea Lit assignment that'd been eating your brains quite literally as you felt a headache forming when you realized you didn't understand anything, you decided you had enough.

Groaning exhaustedly, you winded up your books and packed them, deciding it was time to just head back, frankly there'd been so much on your mind you were pretty sure that was probably one of the major reasons you didn't understand anything academic related.

Or you were just terrible at Korean Literature and really should have just stepped in your ego and crushed it when Minho offered to help you and gone to his tutoring lessons.

But noo you just had to have an epiphany that you really liked him, in a romantic way that same day he offered.

Deciding you deserved some kind of reward for tolerating and trying at least, you took a little detour to the grocery store that was along the way.

Purchasing a lychee moju moju along with some small snacks to eat, you quickly rushed to head back to campus before Kitty came back to your dorms from the library.

Memorizing her schedule so as to know when to avoid her became a part of your routine, a benefit was it was quite similar to the rest of them so you could also avoid them all at once. At least until you were ready.

Lost in your thoughts, you didn't even notice something in front of you until it was too late.

And when you took a step and a loud hiss followed that scared you so bad,you literally tripped on your own feet and fell straight to the hard concrete, face first.

Luckily you'd been able to divert your face sideways so to make sure there'd be less of an impact on your precious nose.

Now it was your turn to hiss as you groaned, rising on your hands to get up slowly.

The right side of your face was the one that had contact with the ground so it hurt like a fucking bitch when you tried to move.

As you rose up to your feet, you caressed the side of your injured face and winced when you felt something warm and wet.

Sighing exhaustedly when you indeed saw it was blood.

You're such a clumsy ass.

Words unknowingly flashed in your mind, words that a certain someone once told you and back then you were annoyed but now you felt that they really were right.

As much as it hurts your ego to admit that.

Suddenly you saw something small moving in the corner of your eye, the street being lit up only by street lights placed around five meters apart.

As you moved closer, you hoped this wasn't a grave mistake and you were not walking to your own death.

As you removed your phone from your left pocket to flash your flashlight because it had been in an area where the streetlight did not cover the range hence it was sort of dark.

You braced yourself for the worse,

Okay calm down, you can run for it and you'll save your—

Wait.

What?

You deadpanned once you saw what was hidden in the dark.

It was a cat.

A brown and black one and it was caressing its tail, hissing at you once you flashed your phone at it.

You connected the dots and sighed in relief, knowing it wasn't a murderer and it wasn't a trap; rather you had likely stepped on its tail when you didn't notice it in front of you due to its color being less visible in the dark spot.

A sense of guilt crept up on you when you thought about how you must have hurt it, even if it was unintentionally.

Deciding you'd help it, at least by giving it something to eat, you grabbed your grocery bag that sadly laid out splayed out.

Knowing you didn't have anything cat friendly to feed, you pointed at it as if talking to it.

"I'll be back! Stay here."

Turning around and making a second round trip to the grocery store, not even realizing it was nearing dangerously close to your curfew.

You didn't even notice the look of pure concern on the cashier's face, having forgotten your injuries both as a result of adrenaline basically numbing the pain and also you being in a hurry when you noted the time.

Surprisingly the cat was still in its spot, eyes closed and sitting with its head tilted who you knelt down to it.

You opened the can of tuna and your nose scrunched in disgust at the smell, but someone else was delighted as it leaned forward immediately.

Chuckling at the cat's eagerness, you placed it on the ground and it dived right in, devouring the tuna.

"You probably haven't eaten in a while huh?"

Gazing at the cat with sympathy and speaking as if the cat would understand you, you sighed sadly.

As one would when seeing a cat, you moved your hand to pet its head, but just as you were about to touch it, it decided you were the enemy.

Hissing at you, you didn't even get to avoid it when it swiped it's paw at your hand.

It wasn't too deep, but it definitely left a mark and oh it also definitely hurt, burned as well.

You pulled your hand, seeing the scratch mark deep enough to draw blood and once again groaned in pain.

The swipe was right on your fingers, moving across from your index to your pinky.

And it was beginning to bleed fast.

"Wow so you definitely aren't fond of physical affection." Wincing in pain as now it began to burn even more, you moved behind, pushing the can with your uninjured hand.

"Fine fine I'll leave you be." You told it gently, noticing it had retreated behind.

You got up while pressing your palm to the scratched fingers, making sure it wouldn't just began bleeding badly out of nowhere.

Shit I probably don't even have a first aid kit.

Today could not get any worse.

And you probably jinxed that as you looked the wristwatch in your left hand for the time.

8:45 pm

A whole twenty minutes passed curfew.

Fuck, you were so screwed now.

You facepalmed yourself only to almost scream in pain as you accidentally hit the right side of your injured forehead.

Great I probably look like I got beat up.

You began walking as fast as you could, your bag seeming heavier as you'd stuff everything including your grocery into it.

Please please please let the advisor not be there right now for checking.

As you reached the gates, you sighed in relief seeing they were still open but slowed down to see if there were any guards around.

It felt like you were suddenly thrown into a secret mission, one to avoid getting caught and possibly getting a suspension for being out so late.

Your wound had stopped bleeding profusely when you'd pulled the sleeve of your sweater over it, engulfing your hand completely.

It pained you to ruin that sweater but you could just buy a new one, hopefully.

Hiding behind a streetlight that was a few meters away from the gatez you scanned your surroundings ahead.

You could almost hear the James Bond theme music playing in your head.

You didn't spot any guards around and the gate was open, so you did the one thing only a true spy could possibly dare to do.

Make a run for it.

Ducking your head down and using the sleeve of your sweater to cover your face, you ran as fast as you could inside, trying to make as minimal noise as you could.

That was not the case when the grovel beneath crunched as you made a run for it and you cussed at yourself internally, praying no one was around.

Lucky for you, your dorm was nearer to the entrance and you felt like bursting out in tears of joy when you neared the building.

Running up the steps, you paid no mind to anyone around you.

"Wait, is anyone still out?! It's almost nine come on guys!"

Eyes widening when you realized you made a grave mistake assuming no one was in the hallways, you turned the opposite direction of your room as footsteps began nearing.

Shit, I need to hide.

Being in this crisis was possibly the worst rotten cherry on top of your nightmarish sundae.

Suddenly, you registered this wasn't your hallway, heck you'd entered the wrong building in a moment of stupidity.

This was the boys dorm building when you noticed the familiar numbers.

Wait a minute.

Your eyes scanned for a number you'd seen countless times by now as you slowly but quickly moved ahead. The footsteps had gotten slow and you knew Alex was in the other hallway, probably looking for who was around.

Grinning when the familiar number was on the door, you didn't think much and just knocked harshly.

"Q! It's Y/N, I'll explain everything but please I'll get caught if you don't open right now!"

Whispering harshly into the door in a panicky tone, you knocked rapidly making sure it wasn't too loud.

You were sure your heart almost dropped out of your chest when you heard the footsteps approaching your direction again.

Your hand dropped to your side as you looked in the direction of Alex heading and you didn't even realize the door had already opened.

You almost yelped so loudly when you felt a tug on your arm pulling you inside. The grip on your arm was strong enough to just drag you inside and you closed your eyes out of fear.

You were pinned behind the door, your back pressing into it as a large hand covered your hand to prevent the yelp out of your mouth. The person's other hand was on your waist to prevent you from falling straight to the ground.

You listened closely to the footsteps and sighed in temporary relief when they passed the dorm.

Only now did you grimace in pain,the hand on your mouth unknowingly hurting the injuries on your face,you reached your hand to tug it out of your face.

The person immediately backed away the moment you grimaced, it was so quick as if they'd been burnt by you. You almost fell over as you'd lean your entire weight on them.

"What the actual fuck happened to you?"

A familiar voice asked in both astonishment and even a hint of anger.

Your eyes were still shut, collecting yourself before you opened them as you relaxed briefly.

You had to blink twice when you noticed who was in front of you.

"Oh…it's you." You murmured, looking anywhere else but at Minho the moment you perceived it was him the whole time.

He scanned your entire face, obviously noticing the blood as well as the bruise, as his eyes lowered, he also saw the blood on your sweater sleeve, your hand now free and the visible marks bleeding once again from being exposed to sudden movement.

When he first heard you, he'd been laying on the couch scrolling on his phone, bored because Q had chosen to spend the night at Florian's, having the place to himself for tonight.

He swore he felt his heart drop when he heard you panicking tone on the other side and didn't even care if it was the first time he'd seen in two weeks of nothing, he pulled you in and when he heard you almost yell, he just placed his palm to shut you up as he heard the footsteps pass by.

He didn't mean to scare you but at the moment, all he could really think about was who even or what even happened to you.

"Who did this to you?" His tone seemed aggressive as he questioned in a deeper voice than usual. Well usual was also deep but it was something you got used to.

You'd become frozen the moment he spoke, not knowing what to say, a little embarrassed at how you ended up in this situation. He stepped forward, straightening up instinctively in alarm.

His eyebrows furrowed in question as he pushed his tongue to the side, lowering his head to your level, now near eye level with you, your eyes following his every movement.

You tried not to flinch too harshly when he grazed his fingertips on your cheek and lip, where you'd gotten hurt as well as the place near you eye and eyebrow.

"Uh, so like you see, it looks worse than what actually happened so really it isn't too big of a deal—"

Stepping back a bit, he looked at you ridiculously

"Not too big of a deal ?!" He questioned as if daring you to say it again,

"You must be kidding me right now." He laughed humorlessly as he ran his hand through his hair and you tried not to stare like an idiot.

And as cliche as it could be getting, you felt light headed as you tried to keep your balance. Blinking harshly to keep your eyes open, you almost fell forward when you took a step but this time Minho was able to catch you in time.

"Hey, hey, don't faint on me right now okay? Let's just get you seated first."

You leaned your weight on him as he held you with one arm, he'd move beside you to make you comfortable as he slowly walked you to the couch. Before he laid you down, he removed your bag from your shoulders and put it aside, to make sure you'd be able to lay more properly.

You sighed in both relief and exhaustion when you finally sat down.

"Wait I'll be back."

He recalled the first aid kit he had in his drawer and went to get it as soon as he could.

You shut your eyes, tiredness overwhelming you, not only from the adrenaline high getting over but also from the mental exhaustion that'd you'd been having since the whole mess.

You opened your eyes when you felt a weight beside you, Minho sitting down with a first aid kit in his hand.

He opened it to remove a bottle of hydrogen peroxide that made you scrunch your nose a little in disgust at the color and some cotton pads, band-aids, and a roll of bandage.

You noticed they were hello kitty ones, the same ones you used and that thought made you smile even for a brief moment.

"You really got this ones too?" You asked softly and Minho turned to look at you, looking at the band aids in awe and snorted at your expression.

"You are here, almost on the verge of passing out but you are questioning whether I have the same hello kitty band aids you have? And to answer your question, yes."

"Gotta keep those priorities in check."

He rolled his eyes as he soaked the cotton pad with the hydrogen peroxide, the familiar deep brown color showing.

He gently took your hand and began to clean the wound.

Hissing loudly, you sat more straight about to pull away but he still kept the grip on your arm.

"It's okay, it'll hurt a bit, just hold on for a sec." Minho gently said to you as he focused on cleaning it, laying your hand on your lap and taking another cotton pad when the current one got used enough.

As much as you wanted to cuss out loud, you decided to put your focus elsewhere, choosing his face was the perfect place for that.

His eyes were as soft as his touch, you didn't think he'd be this gentle with you but here you were, him tending to your wounds, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration as his jaw was unknowingly clenched in the same focus.

"Sorry." You blurted out of nowhere, the guilt from everything piling up one by one, from the fact that you'd been ignoring him for two weeks only to show up after and him having to tend to your injuries when he could have just kicked you out.

He briefly made eye contact with you, wiping the now cleaner cuts with a dry cotton pad, and opening the kit again to remove a tube of antibiotic ointment.

The coolness of the ointment made you almost breath out of relief but you were still tense because Minho hadn't said anything yet.

"I get that you must be…angry with me. It's reasonable but I have my own reasons, I think they are pretty valid if you want to hear them out?"

You finished, your throat closing up afterwards and you felt like you'd pass out from how fast your heart began beating.

"How did you get injured like this? First, tell me that." He finally spoke, wrapping a sterile white bandage around your fingers after the ointment.

He carefully finished wrapping and tied a knot, making sure it wasn't too tight as he looked at you questionably, to which you shook your head.

"It's stupid. Really."

"I know you're stupid but—"

"I fell." You let the cat out of the bag and diverted your gaze, his movements pausing to process your words as if he heard wrong.

"Don't lie to me. Did someone bully you and beat you up—"

"I was coming to the dorms from my "study" session at the cafe that's like twenty minutes away from here, when I went to the grocery store for…stuff. And after I got what I needed, I was heading here and I was uh…preoccupied with something that I didn't see what was infront of me, so I stepped on it and then I tripped on my own feet and next thing I know my face was kissing the ground, then when—"

"You're telling me this was all because of your clu—"

"LET ME FINISH!"

Minho shut up after that and pressed his lips into a thin line while you continued,

"As I was saying, I couldn't see what it was and it already hid in the dark when I flashed my phone's light, I saw it was a cat and then I felt bad for stepping on its tail, I went back and got some tuna for it at the store, I gave it to her but I think she was still upset so when I went to pet her, she scratched my fingers, which is why my hand is also injured."

"And oh, I ended up here by accident because I entered your dorm building while I was making a run for it and realized it too late, I didn't want to get caught so I thought of just asking whether I could hide in your dorm until the advisors stopped their rounds."

You breathed out heavily, your chest hurting from the lack of oxygen for saying all that in one go but you didn't want to embarrass yourself by thinking too much about it and just wanted to let it all out in go.

You moved your gaze back to Minho's when you noticed how quiet he'd gotten afterwards, having been looking somewhere else when telling how you got in this situation.

Narrowing your eyes at him suspiciously, he averted his gaze elsewhere while you scanned his expression.

"You can laugh if you want to." Sighing you finally said and that seemed to work as Minho laughed at you.

You deadpanned him as he spoke in between his laughing "You are really the biggest klutz I have known, I mean all this all because of a cat?!"

Rolling your eyes, you lightly frowned and Minho noticing this, began calming down,

"Okay, Okay I won't laugh, I'm sorry." He breathed out as he cleared his throat and looked at you, biting his bottom lip to stop the giggles as he saw your expressions.

"Are we done here? I have to go back to my room too—"

"I haven't even treated your face yet!"

Now it was your turn to shut up and you slightly pouted at his scolding tone,

"As hilarious as your little story is…you need to be more careful. Like this is kinda crazy to get hurt like this by just falling."

"Okay, mum got it." You mocked him and he glared at you, pressing the soaked cotton pad onto your cheek out of nowhere.

"YOU BITCH! WARN SOMEONE NEXT TIME—"

"You should have already known—"

"You KNOW WHAT FUCK YO—"

He ignored you as he continued to clean up your wound, your words being replaced with quite literally having to bite your tongue to control the hisses of pain.

"Now, now please shut up and stay still."

You wanted to cuss at him again, claiming this was abuse but the look on his face challenged you to dare to pipe up again.

Instead, you just sighed in exhaustion, letting him finish his unnecessary kind act that was again questionable if it were out of his supposed kindness or convenience.

"Now there, all done." He placed the final hello kitty band-aid on your lip corner gently and you wished you could smile but that felt like a terrible idea as you remembered that even lifting up the corner of your right side made a sharp pain shoot up your lip.

"Thank you…I guess." You murmured softly to which a smug smile formed on his face,

"I didn't hear you, could you please repeat that for me?" He pretended to be in thought of what you said when he clearly heard you due to your proximity.

You rolled your eyes, crossing your arms and swallowing down the bitter taste on your tongue, having to put your ego down a little at this point.

"I said."

"Thank you for this. Thank you for…helping me. Even when you didn't need to."

Even if you couldn't see it because you'd been looking elsewhere but him, he had a tiny smile on his face as he watched you.

"Anytime clumsy idiot, if it weren't me to handle your clumsy ass, then who?"

It was probably meant as a joke, maybe a taunt even but your heart took it in a different way as you felt the familiar butterflies flutter.

"Minho seriously stop it, you shouldn't just say things like that."

He'd begun winding up the first aid kit and the extra stuff that was there, when he heard you say that under your breath, which made him stop his task.

"Things like what?" He faced you now, his body in your direction as you froze up.

"Oh you know what I mean…stuff that can be taken into….a different context by…people." You awkwardly said, trying to dodge your way out of what you actually meant.

"Do enlightenment me, you know about the context of this." He leaned in closer to you, a smirk forming on his face and you frowned, gulping thinking of what to say next.

"Uhm…well." Biting your lip in thought, the floor seemed like a better place to focus at.

Minho's eyes softened at that, deciding he'd rather not tease you more.

"You know, I still don't get why you have been ignoring me for two weeks. Actually, everyone for two weeks." He blurted out what he really wanted to ask since he'd been able to talk to you properly after this long.

"At first, I thought that maybe you were busy but after the first 4-5 days, I figured you'd been purposefully avoiding me." He said as he looked down and you could feel the guilt creeping up all over again.

"Look. What is something I did?" He asked you with a tone of regret looking at you to see if your expression would reveal anything and as you held eye contact, what made you snap was the sincerity in them.

"No! No, it's not you…well, it is about you but not because of you? It's me though! I am the problem here." Staring at him got too much so you just decided to stand up and avoid looking at him when you spoke. The proximity was also getting to your head and the musky yet expensive smell he wore was suddenly so strong it made you dizzy.

You began racing back and forth in that small space, as you thought of how to explain and you didn't even grasp you'd been rambling the whole time, your hands moving in gestures as actions to your words.

"I sort of just noticed something about me and it got a lot since I never really felt like that way and it's crazy because it is also unexpected—"

Minho stood up and stood in front of you, holding you by your shoulders, genuine concern on his face when he scanned your distressed look.

"Okay calm down, if you don't feel comfortable explaining anything right now, you can just rest and you can tell when you do feel like it."

"No."

He raised an eyebrow at your answer and you continued,

"I think… I want to say it."

He dropped his hands from your shoulders, letting them rest by his sides as you looked into his eyes.

For that moment, you just now perceived how close you were to him, taking in how handsome he truly was, you never admitted it but it was very obvious.

Your eyes momentarily paused on his lips, maybe looking at them for longer than one should and before you could trail your gaze lower to the dip of his throat in his hoodie, you paused at his Adam's apple that bobbed up and down as he swallowed.

Even though he'd been the one who got close to you like this, Minho still felt a little nervous when you looked up at him like the way you were right now.

"Turn around." You ordered before you could even think about it and confusion flooded his face.

"I won't be able to say it while looking at you so please."

Pausing for a brief second, he turned on his heel now facing the greenish bluish wall.

"You know if you want to confess to a murder, you don't need to be afraid, I'll help you hide—"

"I think I'm in love with you." You exclaimed, ignoring his words as you stared at the back of his head.

He was not that taller than you, just by a few inches or so but it was just the right height.

Immediately, you noticed him shut up and tense up as his shoulders straightened.

"I personally never thought it'd be you out of all people but fuck, it's not like your heart lets you decide who you should fall in love with." You tugged at the uninjured hand's sleeve while you used your other to brush your hair behind your ear.

"As cheesy as that sounds. I don't know when it happened or how it happened but I do know when I knew. It was when you bought food for me when I was upset and it was everything I liked. Or maybe it was when despite being cold yourself, you'd offered me your sweater and gosh you just know how to pull at one's strings don't you?"

"I'll admit though, I was annoyed by you and your…attitude and I still will be but it's just that, crazily enough I think that's just one of the reasons I fell for you."

"You're many things Minho, stupid, annoying as fuck, bitchy at times as well, but you're also sweet and caring when you want to be. And now I am just rambling at this point so I'll just shut up."

You pressed your lips into a thin line, the ground a great place to put your attention, your cheeks warming up and you swore you felt like you'd faint then and there.

It was like the atmosphere took a change after your confession and momentary rant. A lingering silence that felt loud and you really didn't know what to think.

Can I die at this moment right now? Dropping dead sounds so tempting.

"..."

"...can I uh…turn around now? To you know…talk?" He asked, scratching the back of his neck nervously your eyes snapped to him, widening when you recalled that he was still facing the wall.

Groaning at the fact that you forgot he was not facing you, you coughed out awkwardly,

"Yeah! Of course…you can."

You held your breath as you waited for him to turn around, and when he did, you couldn’t even look at him.

Minho honestly didn’t know what to think, say or do.

Because what can you say after the person you’ve been pining over since the past few months suddenly confessed their apparently reciprocated love to you?

He thought he’d been doing a decent job hiding his feelings so he doesn’t need to face the brutal rejection fear we all get when we have a crush on our supposed ‘enemy’. But it got harder for him as time went by, and soon enough he found himself completely head over heels for you.

Taking his obvious silence as your answer, your heart grew heavier at the lack of response and you spoke up, breaking the blanket of quietness.

“I suppose you don’t feel the same way so I should probably just go anyways it’s getting late, just…forget I said anything-”

You began to slowly take a few steps back, making sure you wouldn’t fall and injure yourself again,

Minho’s head sharply turned towards you as his eyes widened in alarm, “Wait! You didn’t even let me say anything!”

Pausing in your steps before you could swiftly turn for the door and exit as quick as you could, now a sheepish look on your face as you saw his slightly annoyed and alarmed look.

“Well, I just assumed your silence was an answer?”

He crossed his arms now a few feet away from you as he was already making his way towards you.

“There you go again with you and your assumptions! You really should let someone speak at least.” He sighed rubbing the gap between his brows with his index finger.

He moved closer to you, now only an arm's length away from you, “Look at me, please?”

You had to raise your head a little to look him in the eyes and you felt like you could get lost in them, one hand was on your side, clenched in a fist out of nervousness.

“Who said I didn’t feel the same?” He asked so casually as if asking for your name and you could only gape at him at the implications.

“Because I definitely know that,” He gulped as he looked down at you, feeling like his heart might just jump out of his chest at what he was about to say.

“I am in love with you, maybe a little or by a whole lot. A whole lot I swear I can feel my heart jump just at your presence. I didn’t say anything because honestly, I thought this was another dream I was having, I had to pinch myself to make sure. But I do feel the same, possibly more than you ever will.”

Your jaw might as well have been on the floor at his unexpected confession, frankly, yours was also something you didn’t think you were going to say, but you said it because you couldn’t keep it in you anymore.

“Hold on, what do you mean by another dream?” You narrowed your eyes at him suspiciously, deciding to mess around with him but in reality, you were soaring and your heart probably long leaped out of you in pure euphoria.

“Out of all that, you picked up on only that?!? Did you just- just completely dismiss the fact that I am in love with you as well?!”

Giggling at his expression, you couldn’t contain your happiness as he fell for your joke and once he realised that he glared at you half-heartedly,

“You think you’re so funny huh? Do you even know how hard it was for me to say that? I almost fainted for fucks sake!”

You laughed even more at that, having to hold your stomach with one hand as you leaned forward and at the sound of your laughter, his own smile he’d been trying to control showed as he rolled his eyes at you, shaking his head.

“You seriously know how to make a guy have a heart attack.”

At this, you looked up at him stepping even closer as you bopped his nose,

“But you literally just confessed to being in love with me and you can’t take back what you said now.”

A comical squeak arose from you as he wrapped his arms around your waist out of nowhere pulling you closer, gently moving your injured hand on his shoulder to make sure you didn’t get hurt and you moved your other one around his neck.

It wasn’t like he’d never touched you, but still, the spark of electricity shooting through your entire body didn’t change one bit and it felt the same for him as the warmth radiating from you seemed to engulf him as well.

Staring at him, your eyes trailed to his lips and you moved closer, wanting to just,

Before you could even close the distance, you felt a finger on your lips and heard him whisper to you,

“No, no, you can’t kiss me right now, as much as I want to, you first need to let this heal.” He tenderly poked the right corner of your lip where you’d forgotten you were hurt at the moment.

Pouting slightly at that, Minho chuckled and before you could whine, he swiftly leaned forward and pecked your lips, lingering for a second before pulling back,

“That’s all you get, for now.” Sighing you just nodded, knowing it was for the best.

“You know you still have to make up to me for ignoring me for two weeks, I mean not only me but I’m sure Kitty’s ready to kick your ass as well, I heard she was planning to threaten to burn your giraffe socks if you didn’t talk to her.”

Suddenly a realisation hit you when you remembered something,

“IS THAT WHY I CAN’T FIND THEM SINCE THE PAST TWO DAYS?!?”

“...I suppose she’s already executed her plan.”

all written works as well as images and edits (unless credited) belong to pri. do not plagiarise, repost, re-edit or claim as yours. pics mostly found on pinterest.

links : main navigation !

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farfromstrange · 2 months

Text

Weed Cookies | Matt Murdock x F!Reader

PART 3 of The Vault

See this post for more information on my Valentine's Day Special & Follower Celebration, but these fics can be read separately!

Pairing: Matt Murdock x F!Reader

Summary: Karen receives a box of cookies from one of their clients. Foggy and Matt take a bite. Even with his heightened senses though, Matt doesn't realize what's wrong with the cookies before he's absolutely wasted, and you have to babysit him. Yes, they were edibles.

Warnings: Fluff, faint hints at S3 depressed!Matt and suicidal ideations, attempt at humor, crack fic, accidental drug use, for the sake of this fic we are going to pretend that the edibles were made well enough for Mister I-Know-Everything to miss it

Word Count: 3.4k

A/n: I wrote this after watching the episode of Grey's Anatomy with the Weed Cookies. I took some behaviorisms from my own experiences and exaggerated them a little to fit the vibe of this fic. I scraped parts of this and once again adjusted them because this was even more poorly written before than it is now, and I added the Nelson, Murdock & Page Season 3 narrative again because that's now the running theme of this event. Anyway, if you choose to consume edibles, stay safe! (Also, I'm just copying and pasting my usual tag lists. if anyone wants to be added for this event, do let me know)

“We just got cookies from Ms. Lebowsky next door,” Karen announces happily when she enters the office, balancing the transparent Tupperware in one hand and her handbag in the other.

“She told me to thank you for helping her get out of that hellhole,” she says. Her eyes crinkle in the corners as a mischievous grin takes over her face. “There’s plenty for all four of us. Although she did mention Matt a few more times.”

“Ms. Lebowsky?” Foggy asks. He stands in the doorway of his office, holding a freshly brewed coffee. “Isn’t she the elderly lady we helped last week?”

“Yeah, that’s her. I think she has a crush on Matt.”

He rolls his eyes. “Of course, she does. Who doesn’t? Not that I do, but—well, you get the gist.” The blood rushes to his cheeks, and Karen giggles in response.

From the office on the left, Matt’s voice rings out, “We just did our jobs,” he says. “She made us cookies, dude!” Foggy inspects the box on Karen’s desk. “They’re chocolate chip cookies. Our favorite. See what good looks can buy you?”

Matt chuckles, his fingers tracing the Braille indentations in the documents that are starting to form a mountain before him. “I think we got them because we’re good lawyers, Foggy.”

“Yeah, right. No way! That woman was smitten the second she came in. I really gotta get that blind thing going. I mean, she’s way too old for you, but come on! You’re in a serious committed relationship, and women still come piling at your door. It’s not fair.”

The way he whines like a little kid who has just been denied his favorite candy makes Karen laugh at his antics, and even Matt can’t help but join in. No matter how stressed he is, and how badly he wants to focus, Foggy never fails to lighten the mood.

Ever since moving offices, things have been going well for the trio.

When Matt met you, he was at his lowest. You helped him climb out of a dark hole that was threatening to swallow him whole after losing Elektra and almost losing everything he worked so hard for to Wilson Fisk. Thanks to you, he found the will to fight again. You brought him back to life.

He wanted to die. He hated himself for the longest time after the building collapsed and forever took the first woman he ever loved down with its ruins, but then you came into his life, and you didn’t care about his baggage. You were far too good for him, but that didn’t matter to you.

He fell for you hard and fast, and maybe the timing was a little off because what he needed was therapy and not someone new to get attached to. Still, if you hadn’t pulled him back to his feet and encouraged him to fight back against Fisk, saving his friendship with the people he cares most about in the process, he would have never made it far enough to get therapy.

Matt trusts you with his life because he feels like he owes it to you, but he also loves you more than anything. You’re the best thing that has ever happened to him. You’re his soulmate, and he couldn’t be happier.

Nelson & Murdock added Karen to their permanent repertoire. With her, things are flowing much more smoothly, and they’re actually making money now. They’re expensive, as Foggy likes to say it. Matt’s friends are just as happy as he is, giving him hope for the future.

“Hey,” Foggy snaps him out of his trance, “Earth to Murdock.”

Matt blinks behind his glasses, his fingers halting their frantic movements along the paper. “While I don’t disagree with what you’re saying,” he says, “please don’t let my girlfriend hear you say that women are piling at my door.”

Karen snorts. “Trust me, Matt. She knows,” she says.

“Yeah, but you shouldn’t remind her of that.”

“My lips are sealed. Foggy?”

He sighs, once again dramatically. “As long as you don’t sleep with them, you have nothing to fear, my friend.”

“I wasn’t planning on it,” says Matt. “The one I’m sleeping with is incomparable.”

Foggy grimaces. “Oh, dude. Gross! You know, God made conscious thought as a mechanism for humans to know when to shut up.”

“To be fair, ninety percent of the population don’t know how to use that mechanism,” Karen jumps to Matt’s defense.

As he laughs, he takes a whiff of the air surrounding their new baked goods. Matt can smell the sweet chocolate of the cookies, and somewhat of a herbal essence, but he can’t quite pinpoint why the scent seems so familiar.

Karen walks around her desk to drop her bag and her coat. “So, do guys want a cookie?” she asks, swiftly changing the subject.

“I’ll take one,” Foggy is quick to answer.

Matt nods from his desk. “I’ll try one, too.”

The innocent decision to indulge in a sweet treat soon comes back to bite them in the ass though. Heavily.

When Matt first bit into the cookie, he didn’t think there was anything wrong with it. It tasted like chocolate mixed with basil, sugar, honey, and the kind of flour Ms. Lebowsky used, but he didn’t find much else wrong with it. Perhaps if he hadn’t allowed himself to get distracted by his phone calling out your name and the sweetest text he could have possibly received this early in the morning from the love of his life, he would have noticed that something tasted off about these cookies. And that what he believed to have been basil as a secret ingredient was something else entirely.

When lunchtime finally rolls around, you drop everything you were doing before and make your way to Matt’s office. You always spend lunch together. It’s your favorite time of the day. For an hour, you can forget the stress of your workplace and focus on him. He’s your safe haven. Your home. You crave to memorize his features anew every day so that you will have something to carry around with you when he has to work a bit longer, or when he goes out at night and his Daredevil duties drag on beyond what he planned.

You need to be with him as much as possible because you’re scared that your happiness will shatter on a white cloth, and you will be forced to move on—you can’t imagine losing him. You dedicated your life to loving him, and the thought of ever losing that privilege kills you.

On your way out, your phone vibrates in your pocket. You smile, thinking that it’s Matt, but when Karen’s number pops up on your screen, you frown.

‘We have a problem,’ she texted you. Without context.

All the alarms in your head start blaring, and you start to walk a little faster. You start imagining all possible scenarios. When you ask Karen what’s going on, she doesn’t even reply. What if someone got hurt? What if something happened to Matt? You almost lost him once; you can’t go through that again.

You burst into the new office space that your friends share a few minutes later, your chest heaving and sweat dripping down your pulsating temples. You’re ready to fight whoever dared to hurt the man you love, or possibly threaten your friends, or both, but when you look up and see your darling boyfriend with his cheek pressed against one of the leaves on their gigantic office plant as if the overgrown Calathea were the coziest pillow he has ever touched, you understand why Karen texted you that you—both you and her—have a problem. A big one, too, judging by the looks of it.

“What is going on here?” you ask the dreaded question, shutting the door behind you.

Only then do you notice Karen to your right in Foggy’s office, trying to get him off of his office chair. He’s belting the chorus of Defying Gravity at the top of his lungs, and he’s got a broom clutched tightly in his right hand.

Oh boy. Your wide eyes drift to Karen’s desk in the middle of the room. As soon as you see the chocolate cookies inside the Tupperware, it slowly begins to dawn on you.

You’re not sure which is worse: Matt cradling a houseplant with his glasses discarded and the first three buttons of his dress shirt undone as he’s coated in sweat, or Foggy singing one of Broadway’s greatest ballads so off-key that the Calathea is starting to wither.

It takes Matt much longer than usual to sense your presence in the room. He calls your name, and his lips curl into a bright grin. Even completely out of it, he looks like an angel on earth.

“Matthew,” you say. You approach him like you would approach a little kid. He’s on his knees, so the analogy isn’t far off.

“Hi, honey. What’s going on?”

“Sweetheart,” he greets you, and you have never heard this man sound so relaxed. His hazel eyes are red-rimmed and glazed over, but the most obvious change lies in his behavior.

“Feel that.” He reaches for your hand when you’re close enough for him to smell you, but he misses. “Where are you?” Matt pouts. “I can’t see.”

You want to laugh, but this is not the time. “You are blind, baby,” you remind him.

“Since when?”

“Over twenty years.”

“Oh.” He finally gets a hold of your hand. The conversation seems to go right over his head. “Feel the power of nature,” he tells you. “It’s so soft.”

You want to drag him away from the potentially dangerous plant if he decides to eat it, but the sight of him is one to behold. He looks downright adorable.

You have to focus though. You gently pat his hand. “Maybe later,” you say, and then you make your way to Karen’s desk to inspect the cookies.

Behind you, she calls your name. You twirl around. From the looks of it, she managed to get Foggy down from his chair, but he remains singing at the top of his lungs. All the signs point to one thing, and one thing only.

“Did you give my boyfriend weed cookies?” you sound a lot more condescending than you planned to.

Karen shakes her head. Her face is pale, and she looks just as panicked as you do. “Those are not mine,” she says.

“But you knew they were edibles?!”

“Of course, I didn’t! I started questioning it when Matt started cuddling the plant because his Braille felt like boobs and he didn't want to cheat on you, so he decided that he needed to touch some grass.” She points to him, exasperated. As if on cue, Matt lets out a happy little sigh.

Your brain struggles to process all of the information at once. “I’m sorry, what?”

“He said that his Braille feels like boobs. I don’t know! I thought he was messing with me until Foggy turned into Elphaba, and that’s when I took a bite and realized there was weed in them,” she says.

You groan, your worried eyes momentarily flicking back to your high boyfriend. High. That’s not a word you thought you would ever associate with him. “How did this happen?” you ask.

“Ms. Lebowsky, the lady next door, we helped her out the other day, and this morning, she gave me these cookies. I called her when these two started acting like idiots—more than usual, anyway. Turns out, she confused them with the ones her niece made for her birthday party tomorrow.”

“Her niece made edibles for her birthday party?”

“Please, don’t ask. I don’t have all the details. I just–”

“It’s fine,” you cut her off. “Just tell me that you’ve got Foggy under control.”

Karen peeks in through the window to his office. “More or less, yeah. You’ve got Matt?”

“Yeah, I’ve got him.”

You have to take care of him. He’s your responsibility. But as calm as he is right now, his heightened senses make the situation a lot more complex than the mere accidental consumption of edibles.

Walking over to him, you try to haul him up. He protests, at first, but then he feels the fabric of your shirt, and he slacks.

Matt wraps his arms around you, burying his face in your neck. “You’re so soft,” he coos. “You smell like honey.”

With his entire weight on you, you have to widen your stance so you won’t fall over. His usually quick reflexes are nonexistent right now; he won’t be able to catch you if you trip, and then you’re both going to get hurt.

“You know what’s even softer?” you ask.

“The plant,” he answers confidently. He sounds like a more careless version of himself. You can’t deny that it does something to you.

“No, silly,” you chuckle softly, “I meant your bed.”

“Oh. But I’m not tired.”

“You’re high.”

He pouts. “I didn’t mean to.”

“I know.” You stroke his back. “It’s okay. I’m not mad at you.”

He stiffens and relaxes at the same time. You swear you can feel the electricity in his veins as his nerves respond to the feeling of your skin on his. It’s like he’s on fire. Like your touch feels a million times more intense, and he’s being crushed under the weight of it in a way that makes him crave more.

He squeezes you tighter, trying to get swallowed by you, consumed to the point that you are the same person. The drugs are doing a number on him, and his already heightened sense of feeling has increased tenfold to the point you’re not sure if it’s pleasurable or painful or both. It must be agonizing, yet at the same time there is a high chance that the weed is calming his nerves and dampening his perception to the point he’s taking everything in without the added weight—he’s enjoying the newfound sensations in limbo, and he’s unaffected by it. You wonder how long that is going to last.

After bidding farewell to Karen, wishing her good luck with Foggy who has now reached a point of his high where he’s lying on the floor, demanding to listen to Bohemian Rhapsody and cry over Freddie Mercury. She assures you that she has got it under control, apologizes again, and then sends you on your way.

“Bye, Karen,” Matt says. “You have very nice hair.” His hand tangles in yours, and his face lights up like a Christmas Tree. You managed to convince him to put his glasses on, at least, or he might get irritated. “Never mind,” his voice turns into a pur.

Usually, you would shiver at his fingers in your hair, tracing the strands and sensually massaging your scalp only he knows how to, but today is not one of those days. You’re still concerned about the effects that the weed might have on him, so you want to be careful, although you’re not sure how much longer you can keep yourself from laughing.

As you maneuver Matt through the streets of Hell’s Kitchen, his cane hovers above the ground and his arm is hooked around yours. Without you, he would have run off into traffic by now. He has absolutely no spatial awareness anymore.

Every sound, scent, and texture seems to capture his attention, but there's one sensation in particular that he can't seem to shake: thirst. You’re not even home yet, and you had to stop by a convenience store to get him a bottle of water. He shed his coat, which you are now carrying for him while also guiding him while simultaneously trying not to attract any unwanted attention.

You can’t help but look at him as though he is your whole world. He is. He is everything to you, even high on edibles he never meant to consume, and acting like a feral toddler. If anything, you are even prouder now that he is yours.

“Hey,” he whispers, leaning close to you, “do you think fire hydrants taste like licorice?”

You shake your head. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but Matt, don’t lick the fire hydrant.”

He pouts. For a moment, you think that you have steered off any possible disaster, but that was only wishful thinking.

Matt’s curiosity knows no bounds, and he’s soon reaching out to touch anything that catches his eye. He runs his fingers along the rough brick foundation of a building, marveling at the texture, and he stops to sniff a flower, declaring, “This is the most beautiful flower I have ever smelled.”

You pluck it for him, and he carries it in the pocket of his coat with a happy smile.

You’re both exhausted when you finally make it to his apartment. Getting his large frame through the door is one thing, stopping him from tearing the tap off the sink as he desperately searches for liquid with the words, “Water!” is another.

“Okay, okay,” you try to calm him. You grab a bottle from the fridge, open it for him, and force him to take it. “Drink.”

One touch is enough for him to drop it. “It’s cold,” he recoils in agony.

You sigh. “Tap water it is, then.”

You have never seen him down so many glasses of water. He is severely dehydrated and sensitive to changes in temperature. It’s either too hot or too cold, and you’re so glad that Karen texted you when she did.

You manage to get him to the couch with some snacks that he devours within seconds. If he moves one more inch today, you may not be able to catch him again.

His lip twitches. “Chickens don’t have any arms.”

You pause in the process of wrapping him in a blanket, staring blankly ahead at him. “Excuse me?” you ask.

“Chickens don’t have any arms,” Matt states. “Every American citizen has the right to bear arms under the second amendment in the constitution. If an egg was fertilized on US soil, and the chicken hatched there as well, technically, that makes them a citizen of the United States of America, therefore allowing tiny creatures without arms the right to bear arms, but who gives the bears their arms?”

You’re so flabbergasted that the absurdity of the situation eludes you. The words process only slowly in your mind, and when they do, they cause a wave of confusion to wash over you before it turns into genuine amusement, and it takes every ounce of self-control to keep yourself from laughing at him.

You can pinpoint the exact second the thought escapes his mind and something else replaces it. His hand brushes over the leather couch. “Smooth,” he observes. You haven’t even fully processed his very philosophical question about the animal kingdom before he drops his cheek down on the couch.

The man who has been carrying the weight of the world in bricks on his back for years is finally relaxed; it shouldn’t leave such a bitter aftertaste in your mouth.

You kneel in front of him, reaching out to touch his cheek. “Do you need anything?” you ask.

Matt’s gaze is filled with an odd sort of clarity. “Nah. Just you,” he mumbles.

A soft smile tugs at your lips as you brush a sweaty strand of hair away from his forehead. "I'm right here," you reassure him.

He nods, his eyelids drooping as the effects of the edibles start to take their toll. “Good.” He searches for your hand, and you help him intertwine your fingers. A giddy smile finds its way onto his face. “You’re warm.”

You lean in to press a gentle kiss to his forehead. “And you’re high,” you tease.

Matt huffs out a breathy laugh. “Mmh, yeah,” he says. “But it’s okay. ‘Cause you’re here.”

Despite the chaos and the unexpected turn of events, there’s a sense of contentment settling over you as you watch him drift off into a state of bliss. He deserves it more than anyone.

You stay by his side, watching over him as he succumbs to the pull of sleep that you’re all too familiar with after a sudden high.

“Note to self,” you say to yourself, “never eat a stranger’s cookies without drug testing them first.”

And love has funny ways of making even the most absurd moments feel strangely beautiful.

Matt Murdock Tag List: @littlenerdyravenclaw @yarrystyleeza @etanordoesbullsh1t @thychuvaluswife @harleycao @schneeflocky @imjustcal @pipsqueakkitten @merlinbtch @sya-skies @amberritonicole @thatonegamefish @norestfortheshelbywicked @mattkinsella @itwasthereaminuteago @linamarr @gpenguin666 @acharliecoxedfan

#matt murdock x reader #matt murdock #matt murdock x f!reader #matt murdock fluff #matt murdock x you #daredevil #daredevil x reader #reader insert #from the vault #charlie cox #weed cookies

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fir3ylolol · 6 months

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hi fir3y :3333 can we have more johnny cage x camera stuff (anything related, nothing specific; cameras in house, recording w phone etc) w him having a long time crush for y/n 😁 kind of like how you did w smile! you're on camera (i cant remember if i sent this if i already did im sorry 😥😥)

dazed and confused

pairing: Johnny Cage x Reader

summary: it's been a while since you've seen your good friend johnny. but what happens when long-time crush mixes with weed?

tw: vaginal sex, vaginal penetration, oral sex, blowjob, eating out, cunnilingus, long-time crush, weed usage, intoxicated sex, loss of inhibitions, praise, filmed, sex tape, cumming inside, cum eating, putting on a show, whimpering men heheheh, afab!reader, gn reader

a/n: YAYYY finally another post!! its been forever. this was requested by @keiiikomegumi. gotta love men who fall hard and fuck desperately O.O also i think this is the longest fic other than we want you! ive ever written lol

word count: 2.65 k

Ao3

It’s been about 3 weeks since you last saw Johnny, which kinda sucks. He’s always a lot of fun, and you’ve been really stressed lately. So when you get his text reading, “come over 4 dinner, we can chill 0.o”, you quickly respond, “see u thennn”. You leave shortly afterward, excited to finally relax. You roll into his driveway after about 30 minutes of driving, seeing Johnny’s shadowed figure standing in the doorway. You hop out excitedly, walking over and capturing him in a tight hug. He laughs, hugging you back just as tight. “Hey! I’ve missed you, it’s been wayyyy too long. Come in, I’ve already got some food ready.” You walk in, drinking in the familiar sight of his home. You see the table set, two spots right next to each other, with a suspicious look on his face.

“So what do you have in store for me?” You sit down, watching as he disappears into the kitchen. “Well, I know you’ve been under a lot of pressure lately, and so have I. So…” He walks out, a large silver plate covered with a cloche. “I figured we deserved a treat,” he says with a smirk, lifting it and revealing two brownies. Realization hits you hard. You see, this is California, and if there’s any pastime Californians love, it’s getting high. Johnny is no different; in fact, he likes edibles more, since he says smoking will “damage his star-quality voice and flawless skin.” But he lives a stressful life, and he needs a break just as much as you. So seeing two, delicious-looking brownies on separate plates, you know exactly why you were invited. And you nearly cry.

“Johnny…” you smile up at him, “thank you. So much.” His eyes light up, placing the plates down for you two as he sits down next to you. “Yay, I knew you would be happy! Ok, I’ve got plenty of snacks in the fridge and cold ass water, so we’re set.” He picks his brownie up, and you follow, clinking them together like glasses before taking a bite. It’s rich, fudgy, and absolutely one of the best brownies you’ve ever had. With a mouthful of food, you try to speak, “Schit manm, ‘his is schoo good.” He laughs at you, finishing his bite before speaking, “It’s been barely a month and you’ve forgotten your manners?” You smack him lightly, before standing up and getting a glass of water, downing the whole thing. He follows you, giving you a big hug from behind. He’s rocking back and forth, face buried in your neck. He’s always been more touchy with you than his other friends, but you don’t mind. He’s warm and gentle and always smells fancy. But you laugh, rocking with him. “The room’s already spinning, oooooh.” He lifts you slightly, walking through the kitchen. “You’re so high, oh noooo!” He set you down, laughing still. “You’re so much fun, I missed you.”

You feel a slight twinge in your heart, the words must mean more to you than it does to him. You’ve been a little glad not to see him honestly, but only because your feelings for him have gotten that intense. A break was just what you needed, but now? When you’re going to be wasted and he’s just so nice and so close? You might break. But for now, you appear cool laughing as well before managing to say, “I missed you too” without seeming suspicious. And you start to fall into the same routine as usual, he leads you to the couch to chill together and watch something fun. He used to go to the cinema room, but once he got too high, watched Rambo on the big screen, and had a panic attack. Plus, you can’t cuddle in there, and he can’t stand for that, loudly declaring that he’ll rip the chairs out every time you two go in there. But he never does. You two end up talking about the weeks you didn’t see him. He’s been working on a new film, but won’t reveal any details other than it’s “based on a super true story”. And he laments how hard you’ve been working, trying to convince you again, “You should just quit and hang with me all the time. It would be awesome.” But alas, you turn him down again, as tempting as it is.

Before you know it, it’s been almost two hours, and you’re definitely feeling it more, the buzzing in your brain is a little louder, and Johnny’s touch gives you more goosebumps. But he leans back suddenly, looking you up and down. “Wait, I just realized, I can’t remember the last time you told me one of your famous bad date stories. What’s going on?” You fluster at his words, so direct and to the point that you can’t think for a second. You finally manage to speak again, your tongue feeling a little too heavy, “I’ve just been busy, man.” He scrunches up his face, thinking deeply. “When was the last time you got some? You know…” He nudges you, eyebrows raised suggestively. You take an embarrassingly long pause before speaking again. “...a year.”

He leans forward, directly in front of your face. “A year?! How are you even alive??” You push him as playfully as you can, completely flustered by the whole thing. “Quit it, it’s not funny!” He sighs dramatically, splayed out across the couch. “So what’s up? Someone catch your eye or something?” You pause again, trying not to look at him, but your mouth betrays you. “Yeah, maybe. But it’s fine, he doesn’t like me like that.” He scoffs, head still tipped back, “What an idiot. You’re awesome. He’s really lucky I don’t just snatch you away for myself.” His whole body freezes as if he said something he didn’t mean to. You look at him, eyes wide and muscles tense. “W…what?” You ask tentatively. But he stands up, walking away while waving his arms around, “Nothing, nothing. Don’t worry about it.” But you can see the tips of his ears are bright red, and he’s tapping his foot on the ground, something he only does when nervous. You stand up and walk over, staying behind him. “Johnny, it’s something. Just tell me, it’ll be ok.” He takes a deep breath before speaking, still turned away from you. “I said he was lucky I didn’t take you for myself. I didn’t mean to say it, but honestly, it’s true. I mean, what kind of idiot doesn’t like the most stunning person alive? I just…I said too much, and I didn’t want to weird you out because you’re such a great friend and…” He’s babbling on, saying way too much and not making a ton of sense.

But you grab his hand lightly, which causes him to turn around. His eyes are watery, his cheeks and the tip of his nose are red, and his mouth is scrunched up in a frown. You can’t help but smile at him, squeezing his hand tighter. “Do you like me, Johnny?” He nods like a child, free hand coming up to wipe his eyes. “I like you too,” you say with a smile, no longer nervous or guilty of your feelings. He sniffles, looking at you with his wide brown eyes, “Really? You do?” As you nod, he sort of snaps back to usual, but not in a performative way, in a happy way. “Well of course you do! Who could resist all this?” He smiles before pulling you into a tight hug. “Thank you,” he whispers in your ear before he pulls away. But not fully, as you two lock eyes, and the air grows thick again. You swallow hard, eyes darting across his face nervously. He cups your face with his left hand, and slowly leans in, pressing his lips to yours. It’s exactly like him, warm and gentle, and it makes you dizzy. In fact, you feel your knees buckle slightly, which he laughs at into the kiss. As he pulls away to breathe again, you can’t help but feel hungry for more. You’ve only gotten a taste of what you’ve wanted for so long, and it’s very appetizing.

Johnny quickly pulls you back to the couch, barely able to think before you find yourself on his lap, hands wandering around your back, eyes locked onto yours. His touch is even more intoxicating than normal, with heavy breathing and racing hearts shared between you two. One hand reaches your neck, pulling you back in. But he’s not as gentle this time, like he’s trying to devour you whole. His other hand is on your hip, guiding you to grind against him slowly. Your hands wrap around his neck loosely. He groans into your mouth, squeezing tighter. You feel his tongue in your mouth, desperate for more of you, more than there is. You can feel yourself growing wetter, so high that your previous inhibitions are gone. Everything is happening so fast, and you’re starting to feel desperate.

He finally breaks away, panting heavily, before looking at you needily. And with how pretty his flushed face is and how badly he wants you, you can’t help but slide down to the floor between his legs. His pupils are blown out, a smile twitching at the corners of his mouth. He tries desperately to pull his pants down quickly, struggling slightly. But he finally frees himself, cock bouncing out as the angry red tip leaks out. He’s embarrassed, turning his head away slightly, but keeping his eyes locked on you. You have no time to tease, absolutely hungry for him, for this. You take him in your mouth, getting most of the way down before you stop, looking up at him sweetly. He gasps, eyes wide and hands clutching at the couch cushions. You start to move, swirling your tongue around him as you keep a steady pace. His eyelids are fluttering, and very quickly he darts his hands out to grab your face lightly, bringing you up to face him. “C-can I film you? I just…I’ve wanted this for so long and you just look so pretty and I just…I don’t want to forget this, any detail of this.”

You nod lazily, a smile spreading across your lips as you watch him scramble for his phone. He holds it up, hands shaking as he starts filming. You decide to put on a show for him, looking up through your lashes as you go down again, able to get almost all the way down, gagging slightly. He white knuckles the phone, staring at you intensely. His other hand comes up, grabbing your hair in one hand. His voice rasps out, “Wanna see that face, all of it. God, you’re so good at this. Fuck…” He sighs as you reach your hand out, starting to stroke him as you lean your head down, licking at his balls. He jumps slightly, but the most lovely whine escapes his lips, so you continue, trying to overwhelm him with pleasure. And overwhelm him you do, as he starts squirming back and forth at the intensity of it all, more heady whines. He finally remembers to hold the camera steady, trying to still himself. But as you go down again, rapid and sloppy moves, eyes watering as you look up again, his grasp on your hair tightens. He cries out as he cums, shuddering as you keep going, swallowing it all. You pull off with a pant, looking into the camera and sticking out your tongue to show what you did. He’s breathing hard, letting go of your hair and going slightly slack on the couch. But he tugs at your shirt, pulling it over your head. Even fucked out, he wants more.

You stand up, half-naked, and he tries his hardest to get your pants off too. But his hands are too shaky, and he’s trying to keep his grip on the camera. So you step back and slowly peel them off for him, and you can see his cock twitch slightly at the sight of you. You climb back on top of him, kissing him gently. But he leans to the side, propping the phone against the arm of the couch, and flips to the front camera. He shuffles down a little, leaning slightly to pull his pants down further as you pull his shirt off, wanting to feel his warm skin against yours. He kisses your cheek, and down your neck, reveling in the way you arch your back at the feeling. He whispers out shakily, “You ready? Gonna put a show on for me?” You nod, head dizzy again, as he rubs himself against you, audibly groaning at the feeling. He has no time to waste, sinking into you with a heady whimper. You gasp, taking a second to adjust to him, feeling his hands cling to your hips.

But it’s not long before he’s bucking up into you, using his grip on you for leverage. He’s bit down on your shoulder, whimpers slipping out. Your arms are behind his neck, clinging to him like your life depended on it. You feel him let go, raspy whispers in your ear, “You’re so hot, shit, so tight around me. You like putting on a show for me? Yeah?” You nod, moans pushed out at the force he’s moving now. His voice is shaking more now, but he can’t stop talking, “Shit, I don’t know if it’s the weed talking or what, but you’re so fucking good. Can’t believe I didn’t tell you sooner-” He’s cut off, a whimper as he manages to push deeper, completely enveloped in you. He’s losing his mind, hands wrap around your back for more leverage. But it’s not long before he’s cumming again, a whine as he pushes you down as far as he can. He’s trembling more, heavy pants in your ear. But finally, he’s lifting you and setting you down on the couch. Both of you are breathing heavily, trying to calm down after everything.

That is until he grabs the phone and puts it in your hands. Confused, you look at him, but suddenly, he’s between your thighs, kneeling on the ground. “Can’t leave you wanting, especially after all that.” He dives in, with no sense of patience, as he sucks at your throbbing clit. His fingers pump inside you, your wetness mixing with his cum. You keep the camera on his face, legs pushed apart as you flinch at your sensitivity. He’s looking up at you, sweet eyes locked on you. He lets go slightly, mumbling into you, “Good job, baby, you’re doing such a good job.” You’re moaning, high-pitched, and slipping from your lips. He’s whining into your sopping cunt, vibrations against your clit causing more jumps. But you cling to him, eyes screwed shut as you cum hard, feeling his tongue lapping everything up with fervor. He finally separates from you, sitting down on the couch with an exhale.

He takes the phone, stopping the recording as he puts his arm around you. “I’ll save those for later,” he says, making you giggle slightly, but you’re quite tired. “We should get high more often, huh?” You snuggle into him, enjoying the feeling of his heartbeat under your ear. “Maybe. But hey, those videos better not get leaked or anything.” Your words cause him to whine out, slightly annoyed. “Come on, you know me! I would never. Besides…it would make too many people jealous, you know? Such a pretty thing like you, all for myself.” You laugh again before looking up at him, sleepy but happy eyes. “You’re stuck with me now, by the way.” He hugs you tight, squeezing you with a wide smile on his face. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

#johnny cage x reader #johnny cage #mortal kombat #mk x reader #x reader #johnny cage smut #afab reader #johnny cage mk1

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yawnderu · 1 month

Text

With part II of Angel finally done and ending as my longest piece ever with 6000 words, I'm leaving that as my last contribution to the COD MW fandom.

Thank you so much for giving me a platform, it's absolutely insane how much I've had fun in the past 6 months since I created this account, and it's even more insane that I almost have 10.000 followers from my silly little writing. I've met so many cool people that are now important parts of my life, and I keep all of you very dearly in my heart no matter what. If you have ever interacted with my content, I hope you know from the bottom of my heart that I truly appreciate and love you.

I'm ready to move on to new things and fandoms, though it's possible that I will come back to finish my ongoing series or sometimes post random drabbles about things I have in mind related to COD. At the end of the day, I play MW3 almost daily, I'm simply not hyperfixated with the characters enough anymore. I'll still be writing and interacting with people, though my new fics are going to be about other fandoms such as Resident Evil, Overwatch, and Baldur's Gate 3.

Whether you decide to stop following me or stay here, thank you so much for being a part of this journey. I hadn't written in years before I created this account, so it's absolutely insane to have gained such a big following in a short time. Thank you so much for everything!!💗

#stray talks #I love you guys so much #I've legit cried about it efjbfebjh

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cutie4me · 8 months

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Best Soukoku Fanfics That Bring Immense Nostalgia!

Someone on YouTube asked for recommendations for Soukoku fics so how could I give up such an opportunity to share some of my all time favourites?! Some of them will make you cry. Some of them will make you smile. But most importantly, the immense wave of nostalgia you’ll feel after reading some of these fics are surreal! I swear, sometimes I wish I’d forget about these fics just so I could rediscover and read them all over again! All these amazing works are on AO3 so please check them out and support the authors! I’ll continue to update this each time I find a new SKK fanfic!

“Overturn even the heavens and the earth” by sssoukoku

Chuuya uses corruption but Dazai’s too late to save him, or is he?

“My skull crown” by YunaYamiMouto

Mori is dead so Dazai has to go back to PM and take the throne as the new PM boss.

“Baby Executive” by BlowingYourMind

Chuuya gets turned into a child and goes through the life stages growing older under Dazai’s care, Dazai manages to develop empathy and a widespread of new emotions around each new stage of Chuuya. (Cross posted on Wattpad!)

“I Was Screaming Your Name Through The Radio” by ElectricSplatter

I’ve not read this yet but it’s really popular and has a lot of positive reviews from what I’ve heard. It’s a rockstar/band AU but it’s super long, probably the longest one here.

“The God and his Vessel” by Churroburrito

Arahabaki lives in Chuuya and they can interact and sometime Arahabaki can come out to talk to people. Arahabaki is surprisingly sweet and overprotective of Chuuya, quite like an older brother. (I absolutely adore Arahabaki and Chuuya’s dynamic in this fic!)

“Silly delusions” by Grinch1234

Arahabaki and Chuuya are one person and Arahabaki is a God stuck in a human’s body confused with how humanity works. He tries on many occasions to convince Dazai that he is a god to only one time in which Dazai actually believes him.

“I’ll always come for Chuuya” by anonymous

Dazai and Chuuya back in PM and Dazai tries to distance himself with Chuuya cuz of his feelings to the point Chuuya loses trust in him and thinks Dazai’s grown bored of him because of his new friend, Odasaku. (Such a shame we don’t know who the actual person one because this fic was so well written and such an emotional rollercoaster!)

“We Are Never Ever, Ever Getting Back Together (Right?)” by sabiEMr

ADA and PM do an exchange thing where Chuuya works at ADA for a while and Atsushi works at PM. Chuuya tried to get over his relationship with his ex Dazai but it’s not really ideal when you’re now stuck with your ex at his workplace.

“Unexpected” by lemoncandy751

Soukoku get paired together for a project and they hate each other… except when they start to fall for each other. Well that was unexpected!

“It takes two, to create a whole” by X_DRAMA_QUEEN_X

Roommates/College AU. Dazai’s a player and Chuuya gets stuck being his roommate and they absolutely despise each other with a burning passion. Chuuya gets a little too close to Fyodor and doesn’t know who to trust anymore. Is it Dazai playing the mind games to make Chuuya fall for him or is it Fyodor? (It’s over on Wattpad as well!)

“If we can’t run together, why did we from the start?” by amythecinnabunny

Immortal Dazai x multiple reincarnation of Chuuya. Dazai loves each of them differently and learns to find and fall for each Chuuya reincarnation again and again! (I cried too much with the angsty ending of this. Lots of character deaths).

“Inseparable” by milwritescausewhynot

Highschool AU where Chuuya and Dazai have known each other for 12 years and are practically inseparable! They love to pull pranks on each other but when a certain prank of Dazai’s is taken too far that it puts Chuuya’s life at risk they must face the consequences of being apart for each other’s safety (due to Dazai’s guilt) yet still yearning for each other.

“Pretty Little Thing” by wallows_4

Chuuya, an assassin, is assigned a job to kill the Prince of a very wealthy and successful kingdom. Chuuya walks in thinking this will be easy when no threats are present, but the next thing he knows everything is dark. When he wakes up again, he is "interrogated" by three idiots. And the stupid prince is insistent on him being his personal pet!

“Of Libraries and Liberties” by Grinch1234

Chuuya Nakahara is the escaped government experiment known as A5158 seeking refuge as the librarian of his own little library sanctuary. Osamu Dazai is the notorious boss of the Port Mafia and by some illogical miracle, they manage to cross paths.

“Still, Still, Still” by icedlightroast

Actor/popstar Dazai x Rockstar Chuuya idustrial rivals AU! After a public drunken tweet confession professing his true feelings for his rival, Chuuya has no choice but to play the ploy of fake dating his rival, Dazai, to help this mess he’s made in his career. Except Dazai is a completely incompetent asshole who Chuuya can’t help but hate himself for falling for. Besides, there’s more to Dazai that meets the eye.

“Untainted Memories” by serenathea

BEAST! Chuuya shares his memories and emotions with the original Chuuya, and Dazai has to fix the mess and pain he has created.

“I can’t dare to dream about you anymore” by kiroiimye

High school AU where Dazai and Chuuya have been best friends and next-door neighbors since childhood, never seen apart despite their differing, respective lifestyles as the genius class president and the school’s beloved soccer star. Everything is perfect, except for the fact that Chuuya’s been in love with Dazai since forever and Dazai has a girlfriend.

“Always Yours” by anonymous

Kingdom + Omegaverse AU where Dazai has been betrothed to Chuuya since they were both children—an arrangement that never particularly interested him—until their wedding night, when he sees the omega’s face for the first time. (EXPLICIT Rating for NSFW scenes but you can skip those if you wish)

“The Shepard and His Shadow” by LynyrdLionheart

Everyone knows the monster in the woods is why the village suffers a lack of resources. It's been that way for centuries. Then Dazai meets the monster, and everything he knew turns out to be a lie.

“The Life We Could've Lived” by Xena_Lemon

A very confused Dazai wakes up in a Highschool AU instead of his usual Agency dorm room. And strangely enough, Chuuya’s the only one who seems to be from his world (him and the mysterious girl who keeps watching them).

“Four Years Ago, Four Years Later” by Nightingale231

Chuuya knows before Dazai, does, really, that the younger man will run. Before anything - even before Mori and the home he has carved for himself in the Port Mafia - he will take Dazai's side where it matters. He hates the mackerel, he does; yet he wants Dazai to follow the goals that Odasaku set for him, because he… (loves him).

“Silver Claws, Silver Tongue” by CandiWolfe

In which Chuuya gets turned into a cat whilst on a mission and (unwillingly) seeks the misfortune of Dazai’s help to not only temporarily nullify the ability but to track down the bastard who dared turn him into a wretched feline. Except doing so is easier said than done. Especially when they’re from a whole new foreign organisation.

“How To Woo Your Husband in Seven Days” by moonlitsorrows

When Dazai accidentally performs a grave accident that angers his precious chibi husband and forces him out of their shared apartment and out onto the streets, he tries his hand at his backup operation of “How to Woo your husband in seven days” with seven articulate plans in hopes that it would finally convince Chuuya to invite him back home. Except each plan just seems to fail and give the redhead an even bigger blooming headache. Plan 7 was the last straw. Maybe Chuuya should finally invest in some long awaited (and deserved) divorce papers after such a hellish week of putting up with that stupid mackerel of a husband’s BS.

“Another Love” by infernaa

Dazai desperately wanted to get rid of everything dark and ugly in his life. Even if it meant leaving his love for Chuuya behind. (Slight Sigma x Dazai).

“When Will You Confess?” by Chuchu_hua

Dazai and Chuuya have been best friends since childhood. One day, Dazai gets himself a girlfriend and Chuuya feels jealous. He then realises he has feelings for his best friend, but doesn’t want to confess. One night under the stars plus the influence of wine becomes one heated make out session. The two continue to have random make out sessions, but don’t think to put a label on their relationship. One school dance is what it took for Dazai to grow a pair and finally admit his feelings out loud.

“Empire of Dirt” by arkastadt

Artist Dazai's bored and lives in a mansion, Mechanic Chuuya's the mysterious garden boy working for his family, and fate brings them together over and over again only to rip them apart. (Super angsty major character death! You have been warned! EXPLICIT Rated for NSFW).

“They said the eyes are the windows to the soul.” by Aprusalve

5+1 fic of Kyouka as she observed Soukoku and tried to guess their relationship and one time she finally decided to ask.

“catch me once, catch me twice” by seedus

Chuuya gets stuck in an ability loop where he’s basically wiped out of existence and Dazai decides to become the Demon Prodigy once more to hunt down the ability user responsible for daring to target his dog and bring him back.

“Something More Than A One Night Stand” by ShireHorses

It was supposed to be a one night stand and nothing more. The last thing Dazai expected was to catch feelings for Chuuya. Much less hurt him so badly by saying the night they spent had meant nothing. It hadn’t mattered when Dazai had said that to all the previous women he’d slept with so why did it pain him so much to see Chuuya cry and act so cold? (EXPLICIT Rated for NSFW scenes).

“build a temple in me” by oursorrows

Dazai wants to surprise his husband, Chuuya, on their one year anniversary, and he can't help falling in love all over again. (EXPLICIT Rated for NSFW scene).

“Tempus Fugit” by Imabukuhoe

Teenage Soukoku time travel to a their future are in for the shock of their life as they witness many (good) things they never expected to happen in their lives- and that they’re gay for each other but we don’t talk about that just yet. (EXPLICIT Rated for NSFW scene! Cross posted on Wattpad as well! It’s angsty midway through but with a happy ending!).

“No Longer Human” by Wolf___Spirit

When a stranger starts stealing people's abilities, the ADA and the Port Mafia team up to figure it out. However, something goes wrong and Dazai loses his ability in the process. The big problem? His ability not only nullified the abilities of others, but also his own emotions. And now, for the first time in his life, Dazai has emotions, chaotic and in turmoil. In the midst of this identity crisis, Dazai sets out to explore the world with Chuuya as his grumpy bodyguard, only to discover that he has never felt so...alive. And then they find out that if they don't find a way to give him back his ability, Dazai will die within two weeks. In a race against time, chaos ensues.

“Twisted Ties” by Cutie_4Me

Serial Killer Chuuya tries to hunt down his stalker who's been stalking him by breaking into his apartment only to be met with an unexpected and (un)pleasant surprise. (Yes- I’m shamelessly promoting my own fic)

"Backstage Pass" by the_most_unhappy

When world-famous violinist Dazai Osamu announces his early retirement, a part of him is sure he will never love music again. He’s in his twenties, but he’s already tired of everything. Meanwhile, up-and-coming frontman Nakahara Chuuya is everything Dazai is not: reckless, smug, and a rockstar. They’re total opposites. They could never fall in love, right? (Implied Sexual Content But Nothing Explicit)

"More like a crash" by Jickas

Chuuya loses his memory and Dazai decides this will be a great opportunity to mess with him. But what happens when he goes a little too far and old feelings begin to resurface?

"Everything or Nothing" by Wellthathappened (Cataclysmic_Calamity)

College AU where Chuuya finds out that the boy he drunkenly made out with the night of orientation is his new roommate. His arrogant, smug, very straight roommate. And the boys are each convinced the other is trying to ruin their life by making them go absolutely insane. But of course, things don't go as planned and they somehow ended up with the typical fuck buddies arrangement. Feelings become more complex and they both soon find that the other is hiding something, a secret that could very much rupture everything in their relationship. (EXPLICIT Rated for multiple NSFW scenes and sexual exploration).

^Based off the song 'Everything or Nothing' by Picture This.

"Lost in Translation (Found in Love)" by archerwrites

Dazai is convinced (forced) to join his friends for a year spent in Paris, and he doesn't know a word of French. Chuuya is just hoping to get through school without any strange encounters, and he doesn't know a word of Japanese. They collide (literally) and the situation devolves from there. They figure it out. Falling in love in Paris is a very romantic cliche, after all. Even if there's a language barrier between them.

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felkithecreator · 2 months

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Do you have revalink fic recs?

Oh do I ever. (Please don't take the numbers that I use too seriously, they're not to really judge the quality of work or anything it's just level of enjoyment for me and my particular tastes)

My favorite Revalink fic of all time is Pinesong by aperplexingpuzzle!! Honestly it's just an absolutely amazing work, and personally I think it's one of the greatest post-calamity Revalink stories written. Link and Revali bond on Vah Medoh after Revali's been freed and exists as a spirit, and while Link struggles through the rest of his adventure. Absolutely recommend, 10/10.

Finding Link by Umbreonix is another one I'd absolutely recommend. It's so silly and just - the characterization of Link and Revali is so fun. Link goes missing after the defeat of Calamity Ganon, and it's up to Revali to find him and potentially bring him back. Honestly Umbreonix's other Revalink work Beating about the bush is also phenomenal - that one's unfinished, but it's also great if you want to read something silly. It's a modernized/human version of Hyrule, which is super interesting as well. All That Glitters is hilarious as well. Recommend them all around 8.5/10.

Linger On by ICanFlyHigher is one I genuinely loved as well. It's been a while since I've read it, but I do know that the vivid descriptions of combat and fighting, and just - the immersion of it is so impressive. So I'd really really recommend this one. It's basically just Botw, but you're really put in Link shoes + that extra touch of Revalink. Again, haven't read it in a while, but 9/10 recommendation from what I remember.

I Lost Myself by self_indulgent_authorship is amazing as well. I love reading from Revali's perspective, and just - the take on Link and Revali getting to know each other after Link's lost his memory is so interesting and refreshing. I wouldn't recommend it if you don't like a bit of Zelda-bashing, but I think this fic handles it well and it didn't feel as if it were over the top or anything. 9/10 recommendation.

Snow filled days by SharkPinata is a great one if you're just down for a fun time!! The author kind of took a concept/idea and ran with it, and the plot grew later - and it shows, a bit, but honestly that's part of the fun with this fic. A great thing about it is you can also see the author's writing style improve over time as they write (I desperately hope that the same can be said about my fics too), so it's fun in that aspect of well. The concept is that Link isn't a knight, and just lives in Selkie's Spot in Hebra - where Revali regularly comes to visit him because they're each other's only friends. 7.5/10 recommendation.

Shades of Blue also by self_indulgent_authorship is just fucking amazing. It's the normal botw journey, but you get so much more intricate lore and flashbacks than the OG game - one where Link and Revali knew each other before they became champions - and it's so so so so good. I genuinely think it's one of the greatest Breath of the Wild fics out there, regardless of Revalink. 10/10 recommendation.

Come Morning Light by misscoconi is great as well!! I haven't read it in a long while but I do know it's one of my favorites. It's very sweet - and it's where Link and Revali begin a shared sleeping arrangement. (Meet Me Halfway is the sequel, also very good.) 10/10 recommendation.

The Longest Night by tirsynni is amazing. It's a relatively short fic, and it's unfinished, but it's still just - great. Trigger warning for some things, I'd definitely recommend reading the tags first, but like, I love. It's an interesting exploration of Link's psyche, and Revali's response to it. Honestly, anything by tirsynni tends to be amazing. 8/10 recommendation.

The Effect of the Illusion of Truth by GeryutheTzakandi!!! This is genuinely one of my favorite fics ever - it's so silly and funny and just an all-around good time. Small warning in that it's unfinished and hasn't updated since 2022, but like - I'd still give it a read because what is there is a fun time. It's a fic where Revali and Link decided to get married so that Link and Zelda don't have to. (And no, the two of them were not previously dating.) 10/10 recommendation.

(Another good one by GeryutheTzakandi is Deftly avoiding saying exactly what you mean - this one's hilarious, and Revali is surprisingly self-aware.)

Inertia by sincosma is a great exploration of how Link's amnesia affects the relationship between him and Revali - and what promises they made pre-Calamity. The memories are so interesting yet heart-breaking to read - but the happy ending makes it very much worth it. 9/10 recommendation.

A Seed of Song by Ginneke is adorable. I'm always a sucker for child fics/baby acquisition fics, especially if they're done well, and, well - this one is definitely done well. It's very cute - it's unfinished, but I still think it's worthwhile to read what's been written so far. The drama of Link not wanting to marry Princess Zelda is also very interesting. 7.5/10 recommendation.

Under the Stars by peterpiez is one of my favorites!! Honestly because it's one of the very few Revalink Linked Universe fics to exist. There's very little active Revalink, given most of it is just Link mourning and being retrospective in response to the lives and loves of the other Links, but I still really enjoyed. This is also unfinished, and I don't see the author ever updating it, but I still would recommend giving it a go.

The Last Song on the Wind by Inked_Jael is another incredible fic. There's so much worldbuilding, and insight to Link's thoughts, I just love this one so much. It's super interesting because it explores the politics and the different cultures of Hyrule. I know second-person style can sometimes throw people off, but I think it works really really well given the story - and also if you keep in mind that it's about Link, just... please read this. Their work needs more love. 10/10 recommendation.

a moment's respite by cottonmouthcandy is another one of my favorites. It's a bit of a sad read, because it's pre-calamity and you know what's coming for the champions in the future, but it's a story where you get to just enjoy with them their little vacation at the beach. It's just sweet, and nice. It's been a while since I've read it, though, so those are more just the vibes that I remember rather than the content of the story itself. 9/10 recommendation.

the wind through the flowers by HopeStoryteller is also just a silly, fun time. The boys go Modulga hunting. 7.5/10 recommendation.

I have more, and I would continue, but I kind of have a class in six hours and I need to sleep before then, so uh... yeah. I hope this satisfies you question!! But honestly please spread the love to these authors their works are just absolutely amazing.

#revalink #botw #legend of zelda #ask response #fanfiction #loz #fic rec #sorry it took so long to respond

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ladykailitha · 5 months

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Royal Pain Part 26

Hello, and we have got to the end of the massive arc that culminated the last four chapters.

I also wrote this part before 24 and 25 because I couldn't figure out how to write Eddie having a hard time on tour, but the aftermath flowed from my fingers.

Also as a reminder this story is finished, I'm just posting on a regular schedule. This story is the longest fanfic I've ever written. Topping out at 58165 it's definitely longer than 50K fic I wrote for NaNoWriMo last year (Sandman, never finished or published.)

Pt 1 Pt 2 Pt 3 Pt 4 Pt 5 Pt 6 Pt 7 Pt 8 Pt 9 Pt 10 Pt 11 Pt 12 Pt 13 Pt 14 Pt 15 Pt 16 Pt 17 Pt 18 Pt 19 Pt 20 Pt 21 Meta Pt 22 Pt 23 Pt 24 Pt 25

****

“You’ve been sitting on that sofa for an entire week,” Wayne growled. “Steve has called three times, your bandmates at least a dozen times each. Hell, boy Miranda has been calling concerned. So want to tell me what’s fucking got you so twisted?”

“I was given a choice out there on the road,” Eddie said, twisting his rings around his fingers. “Stay in Indy and play small time gigs for the rest of my adult life or go to LA and get an album and the chance at super stardom.”

Wayne sat down next him. “Sounds like a big decision to make.”

Eddie leapt to his feet. “That’s the problem. That’s what makes me so angry how fucking easy the choice is.”

Wayne cocked his head to the side. “Sounds like you’ve got a lot on your plate again, boy. Start talking.”

Eddie started pacing back and forth. “As much as I loved playing for so many people, I didn’t like that I could only connect with a handful of them and not even the good kind.” He rubbed his chin angrily. “I didn’t like how tired we all were. It was set up, sound check, play, break down and move on to the next fucking town. And that wasn’t including all the parties, interviews, and all that other shit.”

“That does sound exhausting, Ed.”

“I didn’t like how easy it was for them to tell me to drop Gareth as drummer just because he had trouble adjusting to the increased volume. The price of fame they said. Like it was so simple to throw away almost two decades of friendship for the sake of adoring crowds and hearing our music on the radio.”

“Oh, darlin’,” Wayne said softly. “They didn’t...”

“Oh they absolutely did,” Eddie raged. “I didn’t like how they thought that because me and Steve’s relationship was new that I would be able to find someone better. Someone who liked metal, someone who would be down for the ride.”

Wayne furrowed his brow. “That doesn’t sound like good advice.”

Eddie grabbed his hair pulled at it frustration. “The last straw was when they offered to let their tattooist to finish my back tattoo, because while my artist was good, theirs was better.”

He stopped abruptly and turned to face Wayne. “I picked Steve to do my tattoo on my back because he was the only one I trusted to make it meaningful. To understand the symbolism of making something of yourself when everyone is rooting against you. I made the decision before I fell in love with him and now that we’re a couple– and for them to just dismiss him like that? It made me so angry.”

“So what’s the problem? What’s got you so twisted around the bend?”

Eddie took a deep breath and let it out slow. “I’m fucking furious because I always thought that when fame and fortune came knocking I would throw open that door and march right through it. But now? Given the choice? I’m slamming the door in its face and walking away.”

Hot tears ran down his face. “And I don’t know why.”

He dropped to his knees and began to sob.

Wayne stood up and put his arms around his nephew’s shoulders, gently pulling him to his chest.

“Did that band you were traveling with say that?” he whispered into Eddie’s curls. “Because if they did, I swear to god I will burn every record and CD you have of theirs. Don’t think I won’t. I’ll delete them off your phone too.”

Eddie chuckled weakly. “No, no. They were kind. It was everyone else we met. Agents, managers, roadies, groupies, the people around Metallica every day.”

Wayne nodded.

“I was just constantly bombarded with hateful messages and the constant running at one hundred percent...” he whimpered. “I don’t want to do it.”

“Have you told your band that?” Wayne asked.

Eddie shook his head. “I don’t dare to. I was the one that was gung ho about the touring and everything. How do I tell them I don’t want to leave the comfort of Indianapolis and home?”

“Kinda like that,” Jeff said from the doorway. His arms were crossed and he was leaning against the frame. Peaking around him was Miranda with a concerned look on her face.

Eddie scrambled to his feet and wrapped his arms around his waist. “I’m sorry I’ve been a brat.”

Jeff took three giant steps forward and hugged him fiercely. “You’re not being a brat. You’re scared and trying to figure it all out on your own, but you don’t have to, okay? We’ve all been worried sick about you. But Steve especially. I’ll call all the boys down for a chat and you call Steve, okay?”

Eddie nodded.

He dialed the number he knew by heart.

“Baby?” he asked, unsure of the reaction he was going to get. He deserved to be yelled at. Cursed at. Broken up with. He’d hurt Steve the most with this little temper tantrum he’d been having.

“Eds?” Steve breathed. “Sunshine, are you okay? Wayne said you hadn’t been eating well or sleeping much. Say the word and I’ll be there in a heartbeat.”

Eddie’s lip began to quiver and tears spilled out of his eyes. “I need you. More than anything.”

“I’m on my way,” Steve said fiercely.

Eddie looked over at Jeff.

“Tell Steve Brian will swing by and pick him up.”

Eddie nodded and relayed the message back to Steve.

“I’ll be at my apartment,” Steve said. “I’ll have Robin arrange my schedule, don’t you worry about thing, baby.”

“Mm’k.”

“I love you, Eds.”

Eddie closed his eyes and breathed in the warmth of that simple phrase. “Love you, too, pretty boy. Come quick.”

“I promise.”

Steve piled into Brian’s car. It was the newest, having bought it right before they got picked up by Metallica. He had finally saved up enough money to replace his beater.

Gareth and Gethin in the backseat. Gethin had come up to Indy to watch his twin’s apartment while he was gone and just ended up staying. He was currently looking for a job so that he could move in with Gareth full time.

At least that what they said on the trip down. The twins and Brian were intent on filling the air with talk and Steve let them. He let them fill him in on the tour and everything that had been going on since they’d left.

Steve couldn’t be for certain, but it sounded like that touring hadn’t been fun for anyone. Even after a week of rest, he could still make out the circles under their eyes and how hunched over they were with just sheer exhaustion.

A feeling Steve felt all too well.

Gethin was pressed against his twin’s side and was rubbing his neck soothingly.

Steve looked at Brian.

His face was set, hard and unflinching. He was going to make the drive to Hawkins as fast as he could and still avoid the cops.

Steve was grateful Brian was driving because he didn’t think he would have made the distinction to avoid breaking the law. He would have gunned it and flipped off any cop that tried to catch him.

After awhile, Steve was getting the oddest feeling that Brian was used to speeding down this stretch of highway because there were points where he would slow down for a few miles and then speed right back up.

Soon enough they were pulling up to Wayne’s trailer and piling out the car.

Eddie sat on the sofa with Jeff and Miranda on either side of him, just hugging him.

Wayne was busying himself in the kitchen, getting ready to feed the hoard that was about to descend on his home.

The door opened up and Brian, Gareth, and Gethin all stumbled through the entryway. Eddie was on his feet in an instant, Jeff and Miranda not far behind.

And then the trio at the door parted and there stood Steve. Looking just as tired and worn as Eddie felt.

“Stevie?” Eddie asked, taking a step toward him uncertainly.

Steve threw open his arms and Eddie ran straight into them. They wrapped their arms around each other and just sobbed.

“I’m here, Eds,” Steve murmured into Eddie’s neck. “I’m here. I love you so much.”

Eddie lifted his head and kissed him hard. “I love you, too. I regret leaving you behind, sweetheart. It nearly killed me. Every song I wrote was about you. About missing you. I don’t even want to leave you ever again, I can’t.”

The silence that followed that statement was deafening.

Steve led Eddie back over to couch and sat them both down. “Tell us everything, babe.”

And so Eddie did. He told them everything. Everything he had told Wayne, everything that had been weighing on his mind since they started touring. It all just came out in a flood.

They all listened patiently.

“Why didn’t you tell us you felt like that while we were on the road?” Gareth asked. “I knew what they were saying about me, but I also knew you guys wouldn’t drop me. If you had me about that I would have been able to reassure you that I’m not going anywhere, okay?”

Eddie flushed with embarrassment. “I didn’t know how to bring it up, it was so vile, man.”

Jeff gave his hand a squeeze. “Well, I think that you did a bang up job telling us now and that’s what really matters.”

“Someone offered to ship me out to LA and record an album,” Eddie finally admitted. “Not the band, just me. I told him that I wouldn’t go without you guys and he laughed in my face. Told me to cut the dead weight and be a star.” He dragged his hands over his face.

“But there were other offers. Good ones. Ones that included the band, well most of it, anyway. Always under the proviso that Gareth be replaced either on tour or all together. They didn’t want to make any accommodations for him even though there is a drummer with one god damn arm!”

“So the options are,” Brian said, “stay in Indy doing what we’ve been doing, only better because of the money we got for doing this tour. Go to LA without Gareth. Go to LA with Gareth but only as a studio musician and take some person we don’t know on tour with us. Does that sound about right?”

Just then Gareth’s phone went off. He looked at it with a frown. It wasn’t a number recognized so he let it go to voicemail. He pulled it up after the notification popped up.

He listened to message with wide eyes. “Hey guys, I think we have another option.” And he played the message so everyone could hear.

“Hey, Mr Hughes,” the tinny voice said through the speaker. “This is Murray Bauman, I’m music producer, we spoke in Las Vegas. I think I have the perfect deal for you boys. You were telling me that touring was really hard on you and that if there was an option you wouldn’t do that. I know you weren’t speaking for all your band, but I could tell that they would do anything for you, all four of you being such good friends.

“So the reason for this call is that I own a small music company in Bloomington and boy do I have a deal for you all. You would make a record through us, we would sell and distribute the record, keeping a portion of the sales, of course. But you wouldn’t have to tour. You have a steady gig as I understand it. If your fans want to see you play, they’ll know where to find you.

“But give me a call, we’ll hash out the details. My phone number is 555-555-2080...” and then message beeped, signaling the end of the voicemail.

Eddie looked down at the phone and then back up at Gareth. “Oh.”

Gareth grinned. “We don’t even have to take his offer, but I vote we listen to it. Brian can bring Cecil.”

Brian nodded. “He’s only got a semester left of law school, but I’ll have him brush up on his contract law to be on the safe side.”

Jeff raised his hand. “All in favor of hearing Mr Bauman out raise your hand?”

Eddie, Brian, and Gareth’s hands shot up.

“Sounds good,” Jeff said. “You call him back and set it up and if it doesn’t work out we can vote again.”

Brian shook his head. “Nah. I think if it doesn’t work, we stick to Nightmare Holes. We took a swing at it and if it’s a miss then we tried. I thought I wanted the touring and everything that came with stardom, but like Eddie I learned I wanted the romanticized version of it. I’ll be happy playing in front of our friends for the rest of our lives.”

The rest of the band nodded.

Soon everyone getting up to go back to Indy, but Steve stayed behind, he would go back up with Eddie in the morning. They had things to discuss that went deeper then the band.

****

Part 27 Part 28 Epilogue

I told you I would fix it.

Also a little BTS, the reason in my head for why things went wrong on tour but immediately righted itself when Eddie and Steve met up again? Steve still has Eddie's lucky pick. ;)

Tag List: @spectrum-spectre @estrellami-1 @zerokrox-blog @artiststarme @swimmingbirdrunningrock @gregre369 @pyrohonk @bookworm0690 @chaosgremlinmunson @goodolefashionedloverboi @chaoticlovingdreamer @maya-custodios-dionach @messrs-weasley @val-from-lawrence @plyerice27 @thedragonsaunt @sapphirecobalt-1 @a-little-unsteddie @i-must-potato @danili666 @carlyv @rozzieroos @wonderland-girl143-blog @itsall-taken @justforthedead89 @emly03 @aizawa-emma @yikes-a-bee @redfreckledwolf @thesuninyaface @bookbinderbitch @archermightbegay @littlewildflowerkitten @scheodingers-muppet @hallucinatedjosten @ellietheasexylibrarian @anne-bennett-cosplayer @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @bestwifehaver @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @oldwitcheshat @nightmareglitter @tinyplanet95 @novelnovella @jonesn4coffee @slowandsteddie @awkwardgravity1 @steaddie-on

#my writing #stranger things #steddie #ladykailtiha writes #tattoo artist steve

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itspyon · 2 months

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Have you by any chance taken a look at r/dwt2 recently? I'd really like to hear your thoughts on the posts over there about Dream's interactions (or lack thereof) with the fanbse rn and the big content drought. I think you always have realistic outlooks on this stuff and it would definitely help some people on here that I know are trying not to feel too down about it. (100% /nf)

hello dashboard

this is the longest post i have ever written. remember, this is how i personally see things. you don't have to agree with all of it or at all. still, long as fuck. you have been warned

i do not use reddit and i especially don't visit spaces that are a vent melting pot. not something i want to encourage by giving it clicks

however it is a topic i do have thoughts on, of various kinds, so walk with me on this one. i believe the position is in right now is 1 - one he hates, 2 - one he was forced to be in and 3 - one he's too afraid to get out of

you can understand my second point easily, i don't think there's any argument about it. if it was up to him, the current state of his content would not be like this, not talking quality, but in the general lack of it. he had to reorganise his life around october 2022 to the point he considered quitting. that's not an easy thing, logistically an otherwise, and for dream out of all people to have even think about it, it must have been a tremendous feat to get out of that spot mentally. then he could not make usmp happen. dealing with the hate. gumball. releasing the video. these aren't things that he could predict, and did shape the timeline of content release

i don't want to say i feel a bitterness about it from him, because he's not a bitter person. but when he talks about the things that weren't, i do feel that sad yearn, the-one-that-got-away-esque vibe in the conversation. which is completely understandable, because those are his projects he put time thought money and love in. and then he gets the carpet pulled, and now we're here. i feel people forget that a bit you feel sad about all the content, imagine him. we knew about usmp for tops 3 or 4 days, he had been working on it for months. empathise with him a bit and understand this is not a place he wants to be in either

my general "critique" of him regarding the situation is the third point. i say fear, i don't exactly know if that's what it is, and just as above, i understand why it would exist yes, obviously the face reveal and meeting fans and having the parasocialism hit you in the face changes a lot. i understand, say, walking back from his "Stans" video, i understand walking back on the nsfw, i get those things. but we're a bit past that point now, where denouncing that parasocialism is turning into what i see as becoming the cc he has said he doesn't want to be

and i say this as someone that has been around for a WHILE. he has in the past spoken negatively about the path he is taking. the cc that's removed from his audience, the famous guy that has all his accounts managed, the creator with the over scripted, over hyped, removed of all spontaneous dynamic content that ends up either underdelivering, or not delivering at all. ( note here, i don't think dream will ever underdeliver. not in his dna. simply describing that general persona )

he's not there yet, at all, but he's edging close enough where people are starting to feel uneasy about it. some quietly, some in an understanding tone, others demanding and demeaning. and i feel at every step of walking down this figurative path, my first and second points ring very loudly. he doesn't really want this, he never asked for any of this. he has been forced into this position. but now he's on this weird stasis chamber of sorts, not fully in it but also doing nothing to get out ? i see the absolute love he has for music. i see how much he loves minecraft, and his fans, and the weirdness of it all. but he's alienating himself from it and not particularly putting up any sort of fight. not even raising his voice. nothing at all

no snapchats no tweets no likes no replies no streaming no casual popping into a friend's stream. and i am happy for him ! let me make that super clear ! taking time for himself, chilling, doing things in private. i'm glad he has that space now, and he's enjoying a life he very much could not have for years

but the very overwhelming, and genuinely new type of quiet makes that uneasiness i mentioned before grow exponentially. this isn't a quiet we're used to, and i have been through many. i am personally fine with it, i am not the one to demand content, i can simply do something else. but it does worry me he's kind of just taking the punches, and is taking them so much to heart he has removed himself this much from the public, in a seemingly unnecessary fashion. and here's the real issue for me on that third point, and where that worry comes from, and maybe in part curiosity ?

he's sure of what he's doing. at least it appears that way. i don't see all the puzzle pieces, and i am concerned at the picture they paint. is he scared ? is he tired ? is he waiting it out even more ? should i be concerned ? is that maybe too parasocial, or am i just so put off by the change of scenery and the lack of explanation for some of these changes ( like i said, i understand some, but others seem out of left field ) , it that it makes me reasonably worried

still. i get it

i criticize some of it, because yeah, i am selfish, i want the content creator that i have been following for five years to be, at least in part, the one i subscribed to. i want some content, any content, at all

i also understand the road to here was not the one neither of us expected it to be, and it changed him more than it changed me

i am a passive onlooker of his life, and i have no right to make demands to what he gives me access to. i only can complain as much as it is appropriate, which is vocalising my feelings of missing him, because he has given me a piece, and now i don't quite get why it's gone. previously he would have told us why, now it's dead lining

but it's his life. it's his time. it's his piece. and it's his choice. he can do with it as he pleases. i can be unhappy. i can have issues with it, i can worry. i can demand explanations. i am not entitled an answer. the second people understand that last part, they will have a much better time dealing with the quiet

i miss him, i really do. i understand why he's gone. i don't approve of how far he's taking it. but that doesn't fucking matter, because whatever the reasoning is, if he is doing it this way, it's for a reason that's enough to him. and i'd say, we have to trust him with his own life

#pyon askies #pyon long post

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snezario · 2 months

Text

Sub-Optimal; Ala/stor & Vo/x

based from an idea that @sneezingfetishftw posted. I kind of want to expand on that beginning part with a prequel ficlet of Alastor being sick but idk if I'll actually get around to it... I think this is the longest one-shot I've ever written... somehow this turned out to be 1.7k words?

Alastor leans against the headboard of his bed and takes a sip from his mug, grimacing as the hot liquid travels down his throat. Coffee was probably not the best choice right now. The warmth of it was nice against his sore throat. Of course that wasn’t the only unfortunate telltale symptom of illness he had awoken with a couple days ago.

He had been pretty good at hiding the whole illness thing under wraps for the first half of the day, that is until he had to sneeze. Usually he was good at stifling them into oblivion, but this particular cold seemed hellbent on disrupting his ability to control his faculties. The first unstifled sneeze caused all the lights in the hotel to flicker, which wouldn’t have caught much of anyone else’s attention. It was the second, third, and fourth ones that well, almost destroyed it.

It was after that whole fiasco that he was banished to quarantine in his room because according to Vaggie Who the fuck knows what other chaos his sickness will wreak havoc on the hotel? Normally he’d be holed up in his radio tower, but his quarters within the hotel are not half bad. Hence, him still being in bed to begin with. A sharp prickle in his nose reminds him how miserable being sick makes one feel.

hih'ZZSSHHhue!

He tries to keep it contained, lest he face Vaggie’s wrath. Not that she’s much of a threat to him really. As Alastor recovers, he’s interrupted by a loud BANG! His bedroom door swings open to reveal Vox standing dead center in the door frame. Alastor rolls his eyes at the other Overlord.

“Do you mind?”

Vox ignores Alastor’s question and breezes past the threshold, plopping himself on a red armchair by the fireplace.

“I was just passing through the area and a little birdy told me you were feeling a bit… under the weather.” He scrolls on his phone as he speaks, although the wide grin on his screen makes it obvious how much he’s relishing this moment. Alastor narrows his eyes, an unlikely story— Vox would never pass up the chance to taunt him, especially in a case like this.

“Well, I’m not quite on my deathbed as you can see. I didn’t realize that you missed little old me so much that you just had to come by and visit. It is flattering that you stopped by, in any case.”

Despite how awful he’s feeling, Alastor flashes Vox a cheeky grin, knowing full well just how to push the other demon’s buttons. The entertainment value of seeing Vox absolutely lose his cool is almost limitless. Although the pesky tickle is urgently becoming more than a mere annoyance. Alastor would much rather listen to Pentious’s Egg Bois spew nonsense to him for hours on end than be seen like this. Vulnerable and weak, in front of Vox no less. But it’s not something he can avoid at the moment.

Vox wasn’t someone who shied away from physical contact. He never denied himself the opportunity to encroach on someone’s personal space when he saw fit, it was mostly a tactic he employed to assert dominance or to emphasize a point. Or in this case, threaten his rival. Leaping off the chair, he’s in the radio demon’s face in a heartbeat, clenching the collar of Alastor’s pajamas in his hand.

“You arrogant prick, you think that I give a flying FUCK where you’ve been—”

Vox pauses when Alastor inhales sharply, no doubt to make a scathing retort. The radio demon raises a fist to his face and angles himself away from the other Overlord.

hhzh—hhh’ZTCHhiew! hih! ihĨ̴̢̛̘̠̪͍̠̣̪̪͗͒̓̃̎̀̓̕͜Z̵̪̝̱̪̘̺̣̗̘̍Z̷̡̜͔̱͖͉̰̭̽̽̎̆̿̉͝͝T̴̨̧̼̫̜̤͈̖̬͈̈́̄̒̓̾̀̎͠͝S̷̨̱̭͚̬̻̬͐̑̐̏͆͝ͅḨ̵̣͍͈͙͈̝̜͑̓͋̉͊͛̀̑̚H̵̤̯͔̱̓̎̈͘̚̕uu!

The space around them crackles with Eldritch energy, tendrils of which encompass the room. Vox’s screen glitches and completely shuts off.

“What the actual fuck?” The lights flicker back on and Vox’s screen illuminates again. He gives in to a full body shudder (not of his own accord though) as the static shock between them fizzles out. He jumps back from Alastor, his eye spiraling intensely. Alastor sniffles into a plain cloth handkerchief.

“Oh dear, pardon me. I’m not quite in control of my faculties at the moment.”

“I hope you fucking choke on your own mucus,” Vox snarls at him before storming out of Alastor’s room.

It’s humiliating but because the hotel has Alastor as its facilities manager, there is very little modern technology at Vox’s disposal. Meaning, he has to walk… out the front door like a common sinner. The hotel is located quite a bit away from the main hubbub of Pentagram City, which is both a blessing and a curse, depending on who you talk to. Vox makes his way to the edge of the city, a chaotic and desolate area and at the first sight of a screen (an old television set sitting in the window of a dilapidated pawn shop), he transforms into electricity and travels back to the Vees’ penthouse.

What kind of weird voodoo magic did the smiling freak do to me? Vox sits alone in his penthouse suite, glaring at nothing in particular as his eye dilates as he fumes about the outcome of his interaction with Alastor. One day, that pompous bastard would find something more than coffee in that stupid mug of his.

He idly rubs a hand down his screen as a fleeting fuzzy sensation runs through the circuitry in his head, almost like an itch he can’t quite reach. He proceeds to take a long sip from his mug, the coffee in it is only lukewarm but it’s the caffeine boost he wants anyways. Vox is feeling more drained from engaging with Alastor than he thought. It’s not entirely out of the question, but it does surprise him a little. Nothing a little caffeine wouldn’t fix. He downs the rest of the drink and settles into the sofa, turning the plasma screen television screen across from him on with a simple thought. The ambient sound immediately soothes him and the incident with Alastor floats into his memory archives to be forgotten.

An hour passes and Vox is sleepily scrolling on his phone. He could nod off right there. That is until a buzzing in his head catches his attention. It almost feels like tiny feathers caressing his internal wiring, not so much caressing as tickling. Similar to before, he can’t seem to reach it and quell the sensation. But unlike before, it’s not just a momentary annoyance. His deliberation is interrupted when his breath hitches once, then twice before he pitches forward.

“ih…ih'DZZSHHH!”

He blinks in confusion. That’s it? He just had to fucking sneeze? Again, he finds his thoughts disrupted by a familiar sensation. Vox tries to rub the tickle away but given his… specifications he realizes he doesn’t even have a nose to—eh'TZZSSHIEW! hih’IZZSHuhh!

What the fuck is happening? He sniffles. Ugh, gross.

Between the sneezing, the developing tension headache, and the exhaustion it feels like—Vox’s screen lights up as it dawns on him. He fucking has Alastor’s cold. That motherfucker. His blood pressure skyrockets and sparks shoot off his frame, threatening to short out the electronics in the room (of which there are many). Before he knows it, he’s already electro-teleporting across the pentagram to confront the radio demon.

“ALASTOR, you pretentious manipulative fucking son-of-a—”

Although Alastor can’t determine the actual content of Vox’s plethora of insults and cursing, they do steadily increase volume as he approaches Alastor’s room.

“Hmm?” Alastor turns his head as Vox barges into his room for the second time that day. He is sitting in one of the red armchairs by the fireplace, with a book in his grasp. He wears his deceptively inviting smile as always, although it is slightly dulled down by his current illness. Vox breathing is heavy and ragged, his rage undeterred by Alastor’s placid expression actually seems to intensify as he stands face-to-face from his rival.

“YOU… you did this to me!” He jabs a finger in the radio demon’s face, mere centimeters away from stabbing him in the eye. Alastor calmly pushes Vox’s hand down.

“Careful now, unless you want to cause another city-wide blackout.” Alastor teasingly reminds him of their previous on-air encounter.

“Whatever stunt you phhhulled this m-morhhn—” Vox’s voice falters, his chest rising and falling rapidly. He sharply turns away as he succumbs to the persistent itch.

“hh—hHEHh’IZZSH! Fuh—hih…h’KSHHHIiiue! ih’Z̷͖̥̩͕͒́ͅZ̷̩̲̯̠̺̘̟̆̕T̴̛͔͆̒͌̄̚͘Ć̷̘̒̌͐͝͠H̶̥̦͖̰͙͙͙̩̠̋͛ͅH̶͍͕̪̙̦͎́́̋͝uu! ”

The lights pulsate with each sneeze from the television demon. Vox groans, leaning against the wall. That last one hurt like a bitch.

“Oho! I see the problem. Apologies, old pal. Snf! I thought someone so advanced as yourself would be immune to such trivialities.” Despite his flippant tone, Alastor is genuinely surprised. He wasn’t actually certain the static shock would have affected Vox when he did it. He is, however, quite entertained by the development.

Before Vox can respond, Vaggie throws the bedroom door open.

“Alastor, what the fuck are you even doing? I thought we told you to—” The ex-exorcist jabs her spear in his direction and is about to go off on him when she notices Vox is slumped against the wall. Spinning her spear, she redirects the point towards him. “What’s he doing here?”

“Oh him? He’s no threat, at least not in his current condition,” Alastor makes a dismissive motion with his hand, a mischievous smile on his lips. Vaggie scowls at him, her hands crossed over her chest. Her gaze flits between Alastor and Vox.

“What did you do—Actually, wait I don’t want to know. Just… stop fucking with the lights.” She swiftly turns around and shuts the door behind her. Still smiling, Alastor turns his attention towards Vox, who’s looking quite pathetic. Well, more so than usual.

“You hear that, my dear Vox? Get a hold of yourself. Now if you’ll exhhcuse me I hh-have— (dang it, now it’s his turn) hh’iZTSHHuu! eh’D̴͚̼̊̂̒Z̵̳̥̈́̀̐͊̃̊̄͘̚Z̵̻͓̖̪̤͊͒̄̓͗́̂͑͜͝͝S̵̼̖͌̔̚HHHiew!” Unfortunate timing, but can’t be helped, Alastor thinks. He scrubs a finger under his nose and proceeds to pore over his book.

Vox narrows his eyes, adjusts his bowtie, and stands up. Vox glares daggers at Alastor, who appears to be ignoring him now. As he heads to the door, he feels an unfortunately familiar prickle at the back of his screen. NO! Not aga— heh’DZZSHHuh! Fuck. He catches Alastor smirking in his periphery.

“Gesundheit!” The radio demon calls out after Vox’s retreating figure.

#hazbinhyperfixation #fiendwriting #also new HC unlocked: alastor’s abilities going haywire when he doesn't stifle #barely proofread tbh so apologizes for any issues with grammar and the like #anyways here's so more audiovisual demons #the title is cheesy i'm sorry!!!#i recently realized that all my old fics don't have any titles so they're all like untitled 1 or untitled 6 #here i go just another fucking day where i throw out fics into the abyss #heyheyhey fuck my life #i hope the glitch text shows up okay...

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junk-heart · 3 months

Text

Hi guys, feel like I need to say this since most of you followed me for the crp content

I won't be posting as much of it anymore for the multitude of reasons, the biggest being general fandom and pressure

Have to start off by saying, all of you are absolutely wonderful, all I've ever received was support and kind words, thanks for that (like, a lot), especially my mutuals, but the whole vibe of the fandom has been rancid for months...

General negativity surrounding crp where ever I go, be it people striving for characters to be written as "cannon" (while making them as edgy as possible, to the point it becomes as comically overdone as original stories), age discourse, shitting on other peoples styles/headcanons etc... It's just as toxic (if not more) than it was 6 years ago

Basically, people are being shitty twards each other and I don't want any part of it

This always happens when the fandom becomes more popular ofc, so expect me to be back full force once it's popularity dies down

One of the reasons why I started posting some of my crp art 2 years ago was because the atmosphere calmed down and people who were left were mostly nice

I'm still gonna draw the creeps for myself (it's been my longest lasting obsession, since the age of 9 or 10, so I won't let it go because of this lmao), I just won't post them much, thanks for the understanding ^^

#ramble #creepypasta

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justhere4kpop · 10 months

Text

Forever

Wooyoung x Single Mom! Reader

Your life gets flipped upside down when you take a new backup dancer job at KQ Entertainment, you lied in your interview how will you get out of this one?

Genre: Mostly Fluff, Some Angst.

Warnings: (?) Angst, Mentions of cheating, self-doubt, and arguing.

w/c: 8715

a/n: Ahhh the longest one I've written so far!!! Oh god, I really hope it's good and that you guys like it, I've never written anything this long and I'm so scared to post it hahaha. I feel like even as long as it is it might feel a little rushed. I have no idea....it took me a long time to write anyways so any and all feedback is welcomed. Okay AH! Enjoy, please!

tags: @cromernet @starillusion13, @jaehunnyy (for you Chippie)

Masterlist

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Do I wake up every morning with my hair in every direction, toothpaste foaming at the mouth, a stained t-shirt and pajama pants, and a toddler crying because I can’t hold her? Not every morning…sometimes I don’t get to brush my teeth before breakfast. Today was a really important day for me though and I absolutely could not bring my screaming toddler to my first day as a backup dancer at KQ Entertainment.

“What do you think Sweet Pea? Pancakes for breakfast?” I looked at her. “How about some fruit too? Grapes, Cantaloupe?” she smiled.

“Mama!” she pointed at the plate.

“I know I know they’re coming.” I flipped the stove on and kept brushing my hair. This is what I get for letting her try to braid it last night. “I knew I should’ve prepped last night.”

Of course, the day was going to be crazy, I’m a ball of anxiety there’s no way I couldn’t be.

“Do you like the melon today? It’s in season so it should be nice.”

“Juicy.” she smiled. “I like it!” she raised it in the air.

“I’m glad, maybe I’ll get more the next time we go to the grocery store.” I ate with her and wiped her mouth when it got to be too much.

“Are you excited to hang out with grandma today?” I picked up her plate so we could go wash dishes together.

“Grandma is coming?” she looked at me.

“Yes, are you excited?” I looked down at her and pulled her step stool up since she insists she can ash her own dishes.

“Mmmmm I dunno.” she shrugged and I chuckled.

The doorbell rang.

“Hi Mom, thanks for watching her again.” I sighed opening the door a two-year-old attached to my hip. “Saja, say hi to grandma.” I nudged her and she hid behind my shoulder. My shy little girl.

“Oh still shy as ever I see. Does she talk to anyone?” my mom chuckled.

“She’ll talk to me, especially when she gets upset…she’s just nervous around people. In fact, we were just talking about you coming over.”

“Oh, how fascinating.” she smiled.

“Okay let me just show you around really quickly to make sure you know where everything is. It’s been a while since you traveled here and I really appreciate it.”

I gave her the tour around the apartment, sure it wasn’t big but it was enough to stress me out, and have trouble keeping clean. Important numbers on the fridge, obviously call me if there’s an emergency. Snacks in one cabinet, dry food in another, what she likes and doesn’t so far, what she likes to do all day, hopefully, if the weather is nice they can go to a park. I went to get ready while Saja was distracted and put my bag together.

“Where we going?” she asked and patted my bag by the front door reaching for her shoes.

“Unfortunately today Pumpkin you have to stay with grandma while Mama goes to her first day of work.” I pushed the hair out of her eyes.

“But-”her eyes gazed over. “But I wanna go.” she pouted and big tears started forming.

“It’s just like that time that mama had to drop you off at daycare for the first time sweet pea, remember how much fun that turned out to be. You met Junie, and Kiri.”

“But I no want mama go.” she hiccuped.

“I know baby, I’ll be back before you go to bed I promise. Probably even before dinner ok.” I hugged her and spun her around. “It’ll be hard today, but easy tomorrow ok? Just gotta trust me.”

“Otay.” she wiped her eyes. “Promise come back?”

“I promise. I’m not ever leaving you.” I kissed her forehead.

And so that’s how the first day of the rest of my life began. I got to KQ, nearly died from exhaustion on how much they taught us that first day, raced home to be there for my kid before she went to sleep, and did it again for months, some days it was picking her up from daycare, sometimes my mom would take care of her. Of course, I made some work friends who wanted to hang out but I couldn’t… I can’t just go drinking after practice, I have to get home to watch the new episode of Octonauts, read bedtime stories, and make sure her “homework” (coloring.) is done.

“Oh come on y/n, come out with us.” Jaeun begged.

“I-I really can’t, I have to get back home.”

“What do you have a kid or something?” he teased.

“S-Something yeah. I um…just a tight schedule and I’m trying to make ends meet.”

“Oh second job?” Eun suggested.

“It’s just important and I can’t just…I don’t really have free time. I’m sorry, I really do want to but I have so much to do…” I bowed. “Thank you really. I appreciate it every time you ask me. I’ll see you around.”

I started to leave when a voice spoke up next to me.

“Nice work today y/n.” came the calm cool voice of none other than Jung Wooyoung.

“Th-Thank you Mr.Wooyoung.” I said again with a bow.

“Maybe they can’t convince you out but could I?” he quirked an eyebrow…..Is he flirting with me?

“I’m s-sorry I really have to go.” I picked up my bag and left. Did Jung Wooyoung just talk to me….and ask me out? Are you kidding me? I can’t get…I can’t.

“Mama.” called out the small voice waiting by my front door.

“Hi baby.” I picked her up and smiled once more. “I missed you too.”

“You look upset.” my mom said looking me over.

“It’s ok Mom, maybe later.” I didn’t want to talk about it in front of Saja. “For now, let me see what you learned today?”

“Color!” she ran over to the table after I set her down and started telling me the names of the colors.

“Wow look at you my smart girl.” I smiled and looked at the drawing she made of the rainbow. “Definitely going on the fridge today.”

“Yay!” she smiled and went to pick out the magnet for the drawing.

“I got asked out for drinks again.” I sighed.

“I would’ve watched her honey, you can go.”

“It wasn’t just by my coworkers this time…it was one of my bosses….I don’t know I’ve maybe bumped into him like 3 times but I haven’t really ever had a conversation with him and I…I couldn’t say yes.”

“Why not, it’s been a while since you had a date.”

“Mom I’m not really…dating material…I have a kid and…I don’t know.”

“y/n, you should try it…just…take a chance.”

“Maybe….I’ll…I’ll think about it mom.”

“I just want you to be happy kiddo, and to not feel so alone.”

“I’m never alone…but it would be a little nice to…think about some help…Mom he doesn’t want kids! What am I even saying.” I sighed.

“This one!!!” Saja ran back in with a rainbow magnet for her rainbow drawing. “I want dis one.” she smiled.

“Okay that one it is.” I smiled and took her rainbow to hang it up. “And so now which one is your favorite color?”

“Yellow.” she smiled.

“Good choice.” I kissed her head. “Come on let’s get ready for bed.”

I got her into her yellow duckie pajamas, we washed our faces, and we brushed our teeth and read together, she’s trying new words but also told me what color each things were. My smart girl.

“Goodnight Princess.” I whispered and kissed her head leaving the room.

“y/n.” my mom called me over. “I really want you to think about having fun with your friends.”

“I will mom…I��They don’t know I have a kid and I just, I don’t know wouldn’t it just be weird I’m suddenly the mom friend.”

“Honey, you already act like a mom because you’ve always been the mom friend.”

“I just don’t want to get hurt again….I don’t want Saja to get hurt again.” I looked back at her door.

One year ago, it was raining, I’d just gotten fired from my job for falling asleep in a meeting because my good-for-nothing partner wouldn’t take care of his own child at 2am. I came home to a screaming Saja, no furniture except her bed and mine, and a letter on the counter with photos of my worst fear….he was cheating on me this whole time. At least he had the decency to leave his keys. I was so scared I called my mom and that night I did the only thing I could hold onto my screaming one-year-old and cry too. I just wanted the best for her, unplanned or not she deserved as much love as I could give her. In some small ways, she tried too, if she saw me having a bad day after I couldn’t find a job she’d offer me a snack, if I fell asleep while we were together she’d curl up next to me and stay put so I could sleep. She was truly one of the best things if not the best thing to happen to me. I just wish I could give her a good life where she doesn’t have to worry about things at 2 years old…she shouldn’t see me cry already. Now the opportunity was knocking on my door, figuratively of course…Just the prospect of a date was terrifying, could I really let someone in like that again?

Jung Wooyoung is nothing but consistent…consistently a pain in my ass, he really doesn’t quit I mean at first it was every other day he’d ask if I was busy after work, but now it’s twice a week…he won’t stop…He’s famous, he’s…he’s an idol he wouldn’t want anything to do with me if I said I had a kid. He’d leave me alone…can I really expose myself like that? What if I get fired? I really need this job…Christ, what am I going to do? Just keep saying no he’ll give up and move on. Right.

“Oh you’re just mad someone actually said no to you Wooyoungie.” San teased his best friend as he pouted at another failed date attempt.

“It’s the way she carried herself, and that she always looks after the others, I mean I’ve seen her make sure everyone has water before drinking herself, and if someone looks unwell she’s the first one to check on them.” Wooyoung groaned flailing on the couch.

“Didn’t know you had a thing for moms.” Hongjoong chuckled.

“What do you mean?”

“She’s a total mom friend making sure everyone else is taken care of.” he smiled at the younger one, rejection never looked so good on someone.

“You could’ve just dated Seonghwa if you were into that.” Mingi spoke up.

“He’s not my type.” Seonghwa flipped the page he was reading.

“No you’re not my type! I’m everyone’s type!” Wooyoung stood up flabbergasted by the thought. “Jung Wooyoung is everyone’s type.”

“Just don’t catch a harassment case.” Seonghwa sighed. “I like her a lot, she’s kind.”

How could she say no to Jung Wooyoung so many times, he’s charming, handsome, funny, super attractive, sexy, cute, hilarious, and a dance machine. Maybe he should start with…

“How about lunch?” Wooyoung smiled.

“Hmm?” I looked up at him.

“Come get lunch with me.” he nodded.

“Oh um I-”

“You never want to do anything after work so why not during, we get a long enough break, I’ll even buy for being a pain in the ass so much.”

“Really Mr. Wooyoung I’m flattered but I have my own, it’s alright.”

“You seriously have to stop calling me Mister, I’m not that old and I’m not even your boss.” he smiled. “Just have lunch with me…us really a group of us are going.”

“I……okay.” I said sheepishly thinking about how much my mom is going to yell at me for not going.

When he said group I wasn’t expecting all of Ateez to be the group. Oh god, do I look okI should really sit like Six feet away just in case there’s cameras and does my breath smell ok?

“Hi y/n!” seonghwa waved. At least he was kind….they all are I don’t know what I’m saying.

“H-Hi Seonghwa.” I flushed and waved back sitting at the small metal table with them, the chairs dragging on the floor causing the shrill sound to ring out.

“Guys this is y/n…the one rejecting Wooyoung.” he smiled.

“Okay so not cool!” Wooyoung yelled. “I finally get her to come down to lunch and you embarrass me.”

Lunch with Ateez was becoming a regular thing, every week now I’d go with Wooyoung and we’d chat and…I almost felt like another member, sure they did this with others but it felt really special…I felt special. Mom was right I do need more friends. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if I just let go and got to know Wooyoung.

“Like a good mother.” Hwa chuckled.

I did a spit take. “Sorry! Just inhaled too much water.” I coughed and my phone started ringing. “Oh sorry I have to take this.” I got up to answer around the corner.

“Mama!” the voice came from the small face on my phone.

“Hi Pumpkin are you having fun with grandma?” I smiled.

“Grandma makes Tteokbokki like you! But not as yummy.” she smiled and held it up.

“Oh? But I learned from grandma so shouldn’t hers be better?”

“Oh now you know it was your grandmother that taught you this recipe, I can’t cook to save my life.” she chuckled.

“And who’s that?” came a voice from behind me.

“Shit!” I jumped and dropped my phone.

“y/n? y/n?” my mom spoke.

“Mama?” Saja called out.

“S-Seonghwa. I-”

“So you are an actual mom?” he smiled.

“N-No I-....I um…it’s my niece and I” I felt the anxiety creep in, I got nauseous and I could taste the bile in my throat.

“Can I see her?” he smiled and sat next to me and picked up my phone but face it away in case I said no.

“Mom I’ll call you back ok. Saja it’s ok.” I smiled lightly at the phone and hung up. “Am I fired?”

“Fired??? For what? Did you steal a water bottle too?” he smiled. “Those are free.”

“No for…for lying about not having a kid.”

“It doesn’t matter that you have a kid pabo.” he picked my face up. “Why’d you hide it?”

“I really needed the job, it’s just me providing and…I didn’t want to be turned down because I have a daughter.”

“I see…y/n you were hired because you are insanely talented and can dance circles around any of those guys, mom or not. I think they wouldn’t have been making you stay so late if they knew, it’s important to be there for a child too.”

“I really need this job Seonghwa.” I felt the tears fall.

“You’re not losing your job honey I promise. It’ll stay between us….only if you let me say hi.” he smiled.

“I…” I picked my phone up and called my mom back. “Hi Mom, um…sorry my um…my boss scared me and he…yeah.” I nervously handed Seonghwa the phone.

“Oh that’s not who I wanted to say hi to hi Mrs. (l/n) you’re very lovely, I wanted to meet y/n jr. though.”

“Oh Saja, come say hi to Mister??”

“Seonghwa.” he smiled waiting for the small child.

“Hi.” Saja said smally as my mom came down to her level with the phone. “Mama??”

“I’m here sweet pea.” I called and peeked over Seonghwa’s shoulder. “Hi baby, what’d you have for lunch?”

“Potatoe.” she said getting quite shy at the man looking at her.

“And?” my mom prompted. “We tried pajeon, and Kimchi for the first time.”

“Kimchi?” Seonghwa smiled, “how exciting. Did you like it?”

“Spicy.” she frowned.

“Maybe we’ll try radish Kimchi she likes crunchy things.” I nodded. “I should get back to my own lunch honey, anything you want to say to Mr. Seonghwa?”

“......pretty.” she blushed looking away from the phone.

I think Seonghwa short-circuited he nearly dropped my phone.

“I’ll be home after work okay, be good for grandma, bye mom, thank you.” I smiled softly and hung up. “Mr.Seonghwa?”

“You really are ana amazing person.” he smiled and hugged me. “Next time we’re meeting in person.”

“Wouldn’t that be unprofessional?” I questioned.

“I don’t care that little ray of sunshine is getting spoiled by her uncle Seonghwa now.” he smiled.

If Seonghwa could’ve felt the eyes burning into the back of his head at the glare Wooyoung was sending the older man he’d probably be dead. I on the other hand couldn’t process what just happened…everything felt so strange, letting Seonghwa in on my secret…I wasn’t sure I liked it but it was…nice to let something out.

“And what were you two talking about?” Wooyoung questioned as we sat back down.

“Nothing, I was just making sure she was ok.” Seonghwa shrugged like nothing happened.

“Sorry just a weird phone call. I’m okay.” I nodded and looked down at my lunch.

“Aww cute!” Wooyoung pointed out the note Saja had wrote for me. “Where’d you get that.”

“Must’ve came with the wrap, I didn’t notice.” I looked at the scribbles that I’m sure were supposed to be words but what really made me tear up was the heart, it was mishapen and wobbly but it was her.

“Hey? Are you sure you’re okay?” Wooyoung lifted my chin up before the tear hit the paper.

“Yes, I’m ok.” I looked at him and blushed a bright red.

“Promise?” he held out a pinky for me. Saja does the same….

“Promise.” I whispered and let a few tears fall.

That’s where my relationship with Wooyoung took a turn. I noticed the small things at first…the little notes in my bag, the heart on my water bottle, and getting me lunch, or a snack, he always came to talk to me during breaks, and we always sat next to each other if we could during things, bus rides to venues for performances, meetings, anything. It all felt so nice. I felt…happy. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to give him a chance…even just one.

“Hi cutie!” Wooyoung yelled over the phone as I answered.

“Hi Woo.” I smiled lightly at the phone and walked out to the little patio I had.

“Why so quiet?” he questioned.

“No reason. Just enjoying the peace.” I had just put Saja down and I didn’t want to risk her waking up.

“Listen I was thinking-”

“Isn’t that a dangerous game.” I chuckled cutting him off.

“Come to dinner with me?” he smiled. “Please?”

“I-”

“Before you say no! Just…one chance, look I know you said your ex was terrible and left you with nothing but I just…y/n you’re great, and smart, and wonderful, and beautiful, and…and amazing…please…just one date so I can stop my terrible attempts at flirting. I’m running out of pick-up lines to use on you.”

“Wooyoung I….”I looked back at the apartment and a cool breeze wrapped around me sending a shiver down my spine. It would be nicer to try having someone else around. Was I ready for him to know everything? “Dinner sounds nice. Maybe Friday?”

“Friday.” he smiled, you could hear the grin. The wonderful grin followed by his melodic giggle.

Maybe we can try again…maybe this time won’t hurt so bad. Maybe he’d stay.

You’re getting too ahead of yourself y/n. Just one dinner, and maybe it’ll be okay from there, just take it one day at a time.

Friday came quicker than I’d like and I still had no idea what to wear, what to do, all I knew was my mom was excited and I felt like I was going to throw up again.

“You know Saja likes watching him perform onstage, she says he moves the most like water.” my mom smiled. “She gets so happy seeing you on the tv.”

“I know…she asks to watch a performance before we go to bed usually.”

“Aren’t you excited?”

“No…I mean I am but, god this could go horribly wrong.”

“But it won’t, I’ve seen the little notes, you have this boy smitten like he’s a teenager.” she chuckled.

“Yeah but eventually I’m going to have to tell him about Her.” I motioned to my daughter.

“How do you know he doesn’t like kids?”

“I didn’t say that, but he has been thinking I’m just some poor single woman this whole time Mom, and I don’t know how to bring that up, Oh hi by the way I’ve been lying to you for 4 months, and actually have a two-year-old, hope that doesn’t change anything.” I groaned and pulled on the black cocktail dress I had picked out.

“Honey, I don’t think it will…you trusted Seonghwa with saying hello.”

“That was over the phone and this is different mom…this is a…potential love interest, you know a maybe boyfriend, Seonghwa is no more than a potential babysitter and even that’s a maybe.”

“I think you should let some people in…it’ll be good for you to have more than just me for her. Also I have plans for tonight”

“I know you’re right mom I just…. MOM!!! And you didn’t tell me!” I groaned and picked up my phone. “Fine.”

“Just giving you an extra push dear.”

“You are…I swear!” I hit dial.

“Hello?” the voice on the other end of my phone croaked out.

“Hey, could you…do me a favor.” I sighed.

“So you want me to meet your daughter, and babysit her while you go on a date with Wooyoung?” Seonghwa questioned me as I stood with him in the hallway.

“Yes…because my mom forced this…”

“How so.”

“She ‘made plans’ or whatever so now I need a babysitter or I have to tell Wooyoung I’ve been lying this whole time.” I sighed.

“Hey hey okay, I’ll do it.”

“I figured since you brought a goodie basket.” I eyed the stuffed animal behind him. “Saja.” I called out coming back inside. “Come meet Seonghwa.”

Seonghwa could barely contain himself waiting to meet my two year old.

“Mama?” Saja hid around the corner.

“Hey sweet pea, it’s okay…remember him, he’s from the tv.” I held out my hand for her and she walked over to hide behind me.

“Hi Saja.” Seonghwa said calmly and in a quiet tone getting down to her level. “I’m Seonghwa, I work with your mama, remember we talk on the phone.”

“....pretty.” she blushed.

“She remembers.” I pat her head. “Why don’t you show Mr.Seonghwa the painting you did.” she nodded and ran to go get her newest art piece and came back over, she stopped and looked between me and him before taking a cautious step forward.

“Oh my goodness, look at this.” he smiled. “Okay let’s see….a cat?” she nodded. “Wow what a beautiful cat. What’s his name?”

“Rainbow.” she said quietly.

“Rainbow? What a perfect name.” he smiled. “And is mama going to hang it up?” he looked up at me.

“Yes” she smiled and ran off to find the magnet.

“She likes you, I promise, she’s just shy at first.” I breathed. “I have to get going I don’t…want to be late.” I looked at her in the kitchen.

“I promise nothing bad will happen.” Seonghwa tried reassuring me.

“Last time I left her alone with a man he took everything and left.” I brushed him off and grabbed my things.

“Y/n” Seonghwa placed a hand on my shoulder and I tensed up. “I understand, but you deserve some help, and some fun.”

“She’s all I have Seonghwa.”

“Y/n I promise she’s in great care, I wouldn’t dream of hurting either of you.”

I sighed. “Saja. Come give mama a hug please?” she came running over with a new magnet for her cat drawing.

“Where go?” she questioned holding her arms up for a hug.

“Mama is going to go see a friend because she really likes this friend ok? It’s called a date.”

“Date?” she questioned more.

“See when two adults, like mama and her friend like each other more than just friends, which is a very complicated feeling to understand even for adults, they go out to do things together, like eat dinner or watch a movie.”

“Why?”

“To see if they like each other’s company more than other people.” I smiled. “However no one’s company is better than yours sweet pea.” I kissed her nose. “So you stay here and play with Seonghwa and Mama will be back later, like when you stay with Grandma.”

“Are we go on a date too?” she whispered.

“Sure.” I smiled and she was blushing as I put her down. “Have fun okay?”

“Yes ma’am.” Seonghwa smiled and Saja walked back over to her table.

My phone dinged again and I made my way out and downstairs to Wooyoung and his very expensive car.

“Didn’t know you could drive.” I raised an eyebrow,

“Very recent, you look beautiful” he smiled.

“Thank you.” I blushed and he opened the car door for me. “Not so shabby yourself sir.”

“Thank you.” he smiled and closed the door gently and mumbled to himself he told me what he said later was “Wow she looks beautiful.” however I think “okay rizz master Wooyoung, you gotta work.” sounds more like what he actually said…don’t let him tell you otherwise.

“So I was just thinking a quiet dinner without all the noise from the guys and maybe a walk?” he smiled.

“Sure, I’m just along for the ride.” I nodded. “It’s been a while since I’ve done this so you’re going to have to carry me along.”

“Don’t worry I’ve got you.” he smiled.

Throughout the course of dinner I learned that work Wooyoung, friend Wooyoung, and date Wooyoung are three very different people. He seems different.

“Yeah no order whatever you like.” he smiled and gestured to the menu.

“I’m not used to this kind of stuff.” its usually chicken nuggets and mac and cheese…why am I suddenly craving it…or pizza, I could so go for a pizza right now.

“Well only the best for you.” he smiled nervously. “How am I going to pay for this?!” he thought to himself.

“Right.” I swallowed nervously and looked at the menu. There aren’t even prices listed. “Wooyoung?” I looked up at him over the menu.

“Hmm? Yes, oh did you have a question?”

“Have you ever eaten here before?”

“Oh yeah loads of times!” why am I lying??”

“What do you recommend?” I blushed a little, I knew he made good money but…I don’t know this seems a bit much.

“Well there’s the uh Hakarl.” he said and pointed. “That’s good and then the Bird’s Nest Soup.” he nodded.

“Oh okay. Why don’t you pick for me, I mean I want whatever you’re having.” I shrugged. He knew what he was talking about.

“I don’t have a clue what I’m saying! What did I even recommend!” he yelled at himself.

When the waiter came back he ordered for us and we left it at that, I finished my glass of wine and looked around at some of the dishes…they all looked interesting…to be kind…I don’t know if I can do this.

“Um excuse me.” I pulled a waiter aside and asked about the dish he had just served. “What did she order?”

“Ah that ma’am is the Bird’s Nest Soup” he smiled. “You see the saliva turns hard-”

“Thank you.” I interrupted and turned back to Wooyoung. Saliva? “Wooyo-”“Y/n” we both said at the same time.

“You go first.” he gestured.

“Wooyoung I really appreciate this but I…I can’t do this…this food is…it’s way too much for me.”

He sighed….here it comes.

“Thank god.” he breathed out. “I really didn’t want to find out what the other thing I ordered is.”

“Can’t we just go get a slice of pizza? Like normal?” I looked down at my hands.

“Please.” he stood up and walked over to our waiter talking to him before handing over his company card and explaining everything. “Let’s go before they bring it out.”

I nodded.

What started off horrible and scary turned into something magic, we found a place by the park close to my apartment and got three sliced of whatever pizza sounded good and just sat in the park. Much more my speed, much more…relaxed.

“I just wanted to impress you.” Wooyoung looks down at the slice of pizza in his lap. “I thought…maybe you’d like it if I took you somewhere special.”

“Who says Pizza isn’t special?” I looked at him but his eyes were turned down to the ground. “Woo?”

“I just….I really like you, especially the more I’ve gotten to know you, you’re kind, and gentle, and just…you’re absolutely wonderful y/n and I really fucked this up tonight.”

“Hey.” I nudged him. “Hey” I said a little more sternly and lifted his chin up to meet his gaze. “I’m still here aren’t I?....I appreciate that you think I deserve some fancy restaurant where we sit 10 feet away from each other and the menus don’t have prices and we’re waited on hand and foot, but…that’s not my speed. I prefer picnics and pizza and bullet train sushi and…fried chicken, and mac and cheese, and stupid little fruit cups.” I smiled at him. “I like it when we have lunch together and we eat ramen or tteokbokki, or even rabokki!”

“I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to apologize for Wooyoung.” I kissed his cheek. “I’m having a great time eating pizza in my favorite park with my second favorite person on the planet.”

“Who’s the first?”

“No one you need to worry about.” I chuckled and blushed.

“Ahhh your mom then.” he smiled. “Thank you…for not letting me feel like I completely fucked this up.”

“Quite the contrary, you’ve shown me that I really mean something to you…I mean that place was faannncyyyy.”

“You do mean something to me.” he looked into my eyes and there was that intensity that he had when he was dancing. The look of “I’m doing this and no one can stop me.”

“Thank you.” I rubbed his cheek.

You know how it goes, he walked me home, I got the third degree from my mom on how it went…except Seonghwa joined in, I tucked my two year old into bed and then…I had a full moment in bed in my pajamas where I squealed and kicked my legs and just…he kissed my cheek and held my hand and and and…pizza. Yeah. I could…I could get used to having Wooyoung.

It was just like any other day, it was warm and sunny, Wooyoung wanted to go out on a date and we decided another park date, kimbap which of course he made, in fact he made all of the food we ate, mandu, rolled omelet, potato salad, some pajeon, and finally because this obviously isn’t enough food for two people he also made my favorite cucumber salad . I really am one special girl.

“Woo this is too much.” I chuckled looking over at him as he kept bringing out more food.

“Nonsense, you’ll love this.” he smiles but you can tell there’s something bothering him.

“Are you ok?” I looked at him his face tight.

“Yeah, no it’s..it’s nothing I’m fine.” he nodded but he seemed more in his own head now.

“How about next time I’ll make the kimbap? I’ve been told I make it pretty good.” I smiled trying to lighten the mood.

Sure everything was going well, I really like him but I don’t know he seems a little distant recently and I can tell something is bothering him. I…

“Woo?” I said putting down my things. “You know we can talk about things right?”

“I….y/n…I….” he started and closed his mouth a few times. “What’s your relationship with Seonghwa?”

“Seonghwa? I don’t know…friends I guess. I mean I can certainly feel safe around him.” I looked at him confused.

“I know…what I’m about to say is…I know…Are you…Are you cheating on me?”

“What no?!” I looked at him incredulously. “Cheating?? Wooyoung I would-”

“Then why is it that you drop everything when he calls?” he looked at me getting a little teary eyed. “Why is it that when he calls you leave the room? Hmm? What private conversation can’t Wooyoung hear?” he was getting upset.

“Wooyoung it’s not like that-” I started.

“Well then how is it y/n! Because it certainly seems like you two aren’t just friends!”

“Woo please listen to me.” I said my voice quivering a bit. “Please take a breath and listen.”

“Then start explaining…I thought it was me and only me.”

“It is!”

“I saw you together!!” he stood up angrily.

“He’s just my friend Wooyoung I swear nothing more!” I looked at him, my own tears blurring my vision. “Wooyoung I would never cheat on you I swear, please just listen to me!”

“So you can lie about-”

“Mama?” a small voice called out.

Fuck.

“S-Saja!” Seonghwa’s voice called out.

“Seonghwa?” Wooyoung looked over at his friends familiar voice. “What are you doing with a child?”

“Mama!” Saja threw herself into my arms hugging me tightly. “Hi!”

“H-Hi sweet pea.” I looked at her and moved her hair lightly, I could feel Wooyoung looking at the scene before him. “Wooyoung, this is Saja…my…daughter.”

“Daughter? Are you two-?”

“No! Wooyoung I’m just…I just babysit while you two go out.” Seonghwa looked at him.

“Is she yours?” Wooyoung looked at the child and then back to Seonghwa.

“No.” I said and held her closer. “She’s my ex’s…he left…Seonghwa just…he found out I had her and I needed someone to look after her because I really wanted to go out with you but I…” I felt like I could throw up.

“Wooyoung did…I wouldn’t do something like that to you.” Seonghwa looked at the younger male, anger burning behind his pupils.

Wooyoung looked between us grabbing his things.

“Wooyoung, don’t leave…you’ll regret it if you do.” Seonghwa warned the younger male. I covered Saja’s ears.

“Well what was he supposed to think Seonghwa…afterall I drop everything when you call, I go to you when I don’t know what to do, I call you late at night because she’s crying.” I shrugged. “I would think the same….Maybe I should go.” I moved to get up but Wooyoung stopped me before I could get further.

“No.” he looked at the blanket. “Don’t.”

“Saja why don’t you and Hwa go play.” I looked at her and kissed her forehead.

“Hwa Hwa!!! You It!” she got up and ran away.

Wooyoung sat back down and folded his hands together in front of me.

“Wooyoung I…This isn’t how I wanted it to go.” I looked away from him. “I promise there is nothing go on between us other than he’s my babysitter…I think of him as my older brother honestly. I have feelings for you and you only.”

He stayed quiet before nodding and looking over at Seonghwa and Saja playing.

“Why’d you lie y/n? About…her?”

“No one would hire a single mom…I needed the money before she got kicked out of preschool and we lost our apartment so I begged my mom to come help take care of her just until I had enough that I could come clean about it.”

“We have plenty of parents I don’t understand.” he looked at me.

“By the time I finally got to KQ I had been turned down so many times I-I-I panicked it was the only thing I could think of and I was desperate and they..you were all so kind and I-” tears rushed down my face. “And then you showed up and everyone else and then Seonghwa found out and I got scared and you kept asking me out and making me smile and…this isn’t how I wanted you to meet. I wanted you to meet her please.”

He stayed quiet and I wiped my face, before I knew it he brought me into him and rubbed my back.

“I really have made an ass out of myself haven’t I?” he whispered into my hair.

“I understand where you’re coming from though Woo really.” I held onto him.

“Tell me everything.” he asked

I told him our backstory, how my ex left, cheated, basically robbed me, how Hwa found out, I told him what I could and he listened.

“I’d really like to meet her if you let me.” he picked up my face and cupped my cheek. “I promise I’ll listen better.”

“Woo it’s not your fault, what were you supposed to think.”

“That my girlfriend wouldn’t cheat on me.” he squeezed me a little. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry too…..I’d really like for you to meet her.” I looked at him. “This isn’t how I wanted you to find out.”

“Whenever you’re ready.” he brushed my hair back often like I do for Saja. “Some times…things work out differently than we want them to.”

“Are you still mad?” I asked.

“I’m still….trying to figure out why.” he sighed. “It makes sense but…I just…I.”

“You can be upset Wooyoung, its a big thing I hid from you.” I shied away from him.”Does it change how you feel about me?”

“I don’t know…maybe? I….I mean-” he looked up at me and I knew he could see it, the heartbreak on my face, I never was good at hiding it. “No baby I-”

“No…no it’s fine Wooyoung…” I moved off him. “I wouldn’t…” I stood up and turned away from him. “I wouldn’t feel the same about me either, it’s probably why I got rejected from everything else.” probably even why he left in the first place. “We’ll just go.”

“No baby, stay. We can have lunch, I’m sorry.” Wooyoung pleaded.

“Mama? Can I has water?” Saja came over tired from playing.

“Here!” Wooyoung jumped up and opened a bottle for her. “I made all this food would you like a snack?”

She looked at me and I nodded and we sat back down only this time apart.

“Y/n.” Seonghwa looked at me.

“It’s nothing.” I turned away from both of them to pay attention to my daughter. “It’s just me and Saja.”

Seonghwa looked over at Wooyoung who looked down at the blanket and pushed food over to us before looking to Seonghwa and away again.

“Saja what do you say?”

“Gram…Sa…Ham…Mama what was it?” she looked at me. “Oh! Hamyida!”

“Good.” I chuckled and wiped her face. “We’ll get going now, thanks for running into us Seonghwa…It was nice to meet you.” I got up and helped Saja up before starting our walk home.

“Mommy?” Saja looked up at me.

“Yes sweet pea?” I stopped.

“Why you look sad?”

“Oh don’t worry angel, I’m okay. I just really thought it’d turn out different.”

“Like what?” she questioned. Every the curious two year old.

“It’s nothing you need to worry about Saja.” I picked her up.

“Can we play with Hwa Hwa tomorrow too?” she yawned.

“I’ll ask him later baby. Let’s get you home.”

I got her home, and of course, she was asleep on me when we walked in. I put her down and sat by her bed, I couldn’t stop the tears that came down my face. I thought everything would work out this time, I thought that maybe…maybe one day he’d be here too…maybe she’d go to sleep and we’d stay up and watch a movie together, maybe we’d play games, or have friends over, or…it was always too much to ask. Too much for me to be happy. Not even a text when I walked through the door. Was this really over?......I’ll turn in my resignation on Monday.

Monday came and went but my computer screen remained blank, I didn’t want to write a resignation letter it’s only been a few months but, I loved my job, I loved the guys, my friends….I loved him. I called in sick I just couldn’t see him, of course by now Seonghwa and Wooyoung had told CEO Kim who asked if there was anything he could do, if Saja was sick or anything. No. There was nothing anyone could do.

“Mama again!” Saja called out pointing to the finished episode of Paw Patrol. I replayed it for her and pulled myself into the chair more, staring at the blank document.

“Saja I’m going to the potty, don’t answer the door like usual ok?”

“Otay!” she smiled and sang along to the theme song.

I just wanted to splash some cold water on my face, something to get it out of my system.

“Hi!” I heard Saja yell from the living room.

“Saja? I told you-”

“Hwa Hwa!!!” she screamed and I ran out to see two men standing in my now open doorway.

“Sorry, I used the spare key.” Seonghwa flushed and spun Saja upside down.

“Why are you here?” I stood there wanting to grab my child from them.

“Baby I’m sorry.” Wooyoung pleaded. “Please can we talk.”

“No, it’s fine. You don’t need to apologize.”

“I do. Please.”

I pushed him out into the hallway and closed the door.

“Wooyoung you shouldn’t…you made it clear how you felt.” I looked away from him.

“No I didn’t because that wasn’t how I felt. That isn’t how I feel y/n.”

“Then how do you feel, because I think “I don’t know if they changed” after that means anything different but it-”

“It didn’t change how I felt okay! I…I panicked…I freaked out because I…You have a kid and sure I love little kids, I love Kyungmin, I love babysitting, and I love playing dress up and tag and…I really love them you know I do, but…it was scary. I no longer had to impress just you I’d have to impress your daughter, I’d have to figure out how to…be a good role model and…take care of her and I’m just a cool uncle or big brother I’ve never had to…be a parent.”

“You’re not her parent Wooyoung.” I crossed my arms. “And how do you think I’m going to feel! We Slept-” I quieted down. “You were the first person I’ve slept with since I had her and you just……..I’m her parent Wooyoung.”

“Yes but we’re dating, so that means I need to be there for her too, because you don’t just date the one person, that’s the most important person in your life I can’t just…I have to be a good example. None of it changed how I felt about you, after you two left I just wanted to do it all over again, I wanted to ask you on a picnic and play tag and push her on the swings and..please believe me y/n, I want to try again. I feel so stupid ok, I have real genuine feelings for you and I hurt you I know I did, I just…one more chance baby please. I’m sorry y/n please. I promise I’ll spend the rest of my life apologizing if you just give me one chance to make it up to you.”

I sighed. “It’s not up to just me Woo….give me two seconds.” I walked back inside and he stayed in the hallway. “Saja?”

“Hi mommy!” she called out from the couch where she was giving Seonghwa a makeover. “Princess Hwa Hwa.” she smiled.

“Oh how lovely.” I smiled and looked at Hwa…I need a photo. “One photo so we can remember your masterpiece?”

“You can take ONE photo. Make it count.” Seonghwa looked at me and I took a photo of him and Saja.

“Saja honey?” I came down to her level. “Would you like to meet mommy’s friend from the other day? The one with all the food.”

“Yeah!” she smiled. “The one mommy likes!”

“Yes, the one mommy likes.” I smiled. “Come on.”

I carried her to the door and took a breath, everything was going to change once I opened this door.

“Ready!” she called out. Ok.

I opened the door half expecting Wooyoung to dart…thank god he was still there when I opened my eyes.

“Saja, this is Wooyoung.” I looked at him. “Wooyoung this is my daughter, Saja.”

“Hi!” she smiled and waved.

“Hello Saja.” he smiled back. “It’s very nice to meet you.” He pulled a flower out from behind his back.

“Where did you-?” I looked at him.

“Flower!” she smiled and took it. “Mommy likes a maggisin!”

“Would you like to come in for coffee.” I looked at him.

“I would love to.” he smiled

This was it, Wooyoung was entering my life, he was seeing the real me and my daughter. I set Saja down to go play with Seonghwa but she stayed and talked to Wooyoung, she showed him all the pictures she drew and all the things she did for pre-school, he smiled and listened the whole time. He helped with a snack since she was getting hungry and he even let her do his hair, and for once in the past 7 months I’ve known him, I could finally breathe. It felt as though a weight has been taken off my chest and I could actually let him see me, the real me. It felt good. It felt so fucking good.

Wooyoung is a wonderful partner, truly. Saja loves him, she’s started calling him every night before bed if he isn’t here to tuck her in, she likes to tell him about her day, he plans dates with all three of us and sometimes even just the two of us, the guys have slowly been introduced to her and they all claim to be her favorite uncle (we all know its Seonghwa). Wooyoung has been maybe slowly moving in slightly, his stuff appears more and more, and what do you know he’s usually attached to it, and now, almost a year later her birthday was coming up and I had no idea what to do.

“Okay I know it her birthday but I was thinking we could bring her to work and surprise the guys for a birthday party?” he rubbed my cheek, the soft sunlight drifting in for the morning.

“She would like it, especially if San and Hwa were there, and Mingi, she likes being tall.” I kissed the palm of his hand.

“I’m sorry.” he said and looked at me fondly.

“For what?” I questioned.

“For everything. For being ignorant, and stupid. For-”

“You don’t have to keep apologizing for that.” I held his wrist gently.

“I told you I’m apologizing for it every day.” he kissed my nose.

“Good Morning!” Saja called out and climbed into the bed and on top of Wooyoung. “Wooyoungie!”

“Hi Princess good morning.” he smiled and kissed her head. “Did you sleep well?”

“From the looks of her bed head I’d say so.” I chuckled.

“Well I better get those pigtails back in before Hwa Hwa sees you then hmm?” Wooyoung lifted her up and got up to go to the bathroom with her.

“Woo?” he turned around. “It’s a great idea.” I smiled. He smiled back and nodded.

As I made breakfast Wooyoung made sure they got their morning ritual done, you always have to dance in the morning if you want your day to go well according to him. Saja likes spending time with him and frankly, this past year it’s been so nice to not feel like a single parent.

“Okay and 1,2,...3 and 4. Good! Okay Okay. shh shh.” Wooyoung spoke. “Eomma!!” he called out.

“Yes?” I peaked around the corner.

“Saja wants to show you something.” he smiled and nodded for her.

He started playing the music to Case 143, the chorus specifically and she looked like she was going to do it but then turned to Wooyoung and looked scared.

“I can’t” she whispered. He stopped the music and got down to her level.

“Hey hey what’s wrong princess?” he scooped her up.

“I can’t do it.” she sniffled.

“Of course you can.” he smiled. “You practiced hard with me while eomma was busy.”

“Too hard.” she looked away from him.

“I think she’s just nervous to do it alone Woo.” I looked at him and gave him a small smile.

“Do you want me to do it with you princess?” he pushed her hair back.

“Want Youngie do it too.” she whispered to him.

“Wooyoungie will do it too.” he nodded. “Okay? Together?” this time it was her turn to nod.

He started the music over and set her down.

She looked at him as they started and even though she was shy she saw him do it and knew he meant it when he said he’d do it with her. It gave her the boost she needed to do it too. Before my eyes here she was trying her best to dance along to Case 143 by Stray Kids and for an almost 3-year-old, she did a great job.

“Oh sweet pea that was amazing!!” I scooped her up and kissed her face. “Such a good dancer.” I smiled.

“Like Appa!” she smiled and pointed to Woo. I stumbled a little.

“O-Okay breakfast time.” Wooyoung clapped and took Saja and sat at the table to eat breakfast. “Baby? Come eat ok?”

“Y-Yeah.”

We’d talk about it…after breakfast.

“I’m sorry.” Wooyoung confessed. “She started calling me that last week when I was watching her when you had to stay late with Yunho and I didn’t correct it but she knew you would be scared if you heard and-”

“Is that what you want?” I looked at him. “Is this what you want? You know you can’t leave if she starts calling you that.”

“You are what I want y/n. Nothing else. Just this.” he nodded, I’ve never seen him look so serious. “I may be young and handsome, but I-I I can be a dad too.”

“Are you sure?” I held his hand and he gave me a firm squeeze.

“I’m sure.” he nodded.

“Of course you taught her how to dance.” I wiped my face and chuckled.

“She’s got quite a talent, I think she picked it up from her mom.” he smiled and kissed my cheek. “I’m not going anywhere..in fact, I was waiting until her birthday but…Maybe it’s time I…move in?”

“And what else could you possibly bring over…You already live here.” I smiled and kissed him.

“I have some other things.” he chuckled and kissed me back.

“I love you Jung Wooyoung.” I smiled and held onto him.

“And I love you l/n f/n.” he smiled back and held my hips.

Do I wake up every morning with my hair in every direction, toothpaste foaming at the mouth, a stained t-shirt and pajama pants, and a toddler crying because I can’t hold her? Not every morning…sometimes I wake up in the arms of my loving boyfriend, sometimes with no clothes, and sometimes I wake up to the sight of my daughter getting ready for the day with her two favorite people, I see a smile on her face as her appa cries dropping her off for school, I see the joy on her face when the guys come over and San talks to her about her day, I see my daughter being surrounded by more love than I could ever ask for. Surrounded by her 7 uncles and her appa, better than I could’ve asked for.

Sometimes I wake up to the biggest smile I could ever see, more radiant than the sun, and I know this is all real. Wooyoung is real, and he’s here Forever.

#ateez #ateez fanfic #my writing #wooyoung x reader #wooyoung #ateez wooyoung #jung wooyoung x reader

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lovelybarnes · 2 years

Text

hopeless- b. barnes

pairings: bucky barnes x reader, natasha romanoff, steve rogers, tony stark. oc warnings: kidnap, torture, reader is threatened, rejection, ANGST about: request! “where bucky nd reader have a big argument nd then she storms out in the middle of the night leading to her being kidnapped. Then the whole time she thinks bucky isn't coming for her due to the fight” a/n: phew this took a hot minute. my longest fic. do not like the ending, but i hope you enjoy!!

bucky’s smile is wide as he observes you flit about your room, a silly twinkle in his eyes while they observe your exaggerated thinking gesture, obviously dramatic in your search for his next book to read. he leans against your wall, amused by your pulled features as they contemplate two different books: one red and well-loved and one blue and weathered.

“hmm, do you want something sad and romantic that has lines that make me doubt that i’ll ever find love,” you begin, raising the blue book higher. “or something classic and sweet and scary?” you continue, shaking the red one.

“how could you doubt you’ll find love?” bucky wonders aloud then, and you turn to your bookshelf again just to get away from the intensity of his gaze.

you shrug, unsure of how to respond, busying yourself with putting one of the books away.

“it’s you,” bucky continues, stressing the pronoun as if its implication is obvious. “you’ll get the best love. the pure and mushy type.”

the lazy shapes your fingers are rubbing into the spine of your book slow as you soak in the implications that bucky’s words carry with them. when you force yourself to meet his eyes, you’re unsurprised to find them on you already, but it’s startling to meet their depth, the way they were willing you to turn around without your knowledge. you begin to walk toward him, feigning your purpose as handing him the blue book.

“yeah?” you find yourself replying as you step forward slowly, searching for something deeper in bucky’s face as it breaks out in a smile.

“yeah,” bucky agrees with dead-set certainty. “the universe would be insane for giving you anything less.”

you smother the bashful smile that fights to make only its whisper appear on your face, holding back the urge to look at the ground in overwhelming emotions due to the entirety of the situation—the implications that you’d thought ridiculous of you to even consider seeming more concrete with the honesty of the words that bucky promises to you, making his eyes gleam just a little bit brighter with an unbridled determination that you’d never seen before.

“anything less than what?” you ask, testing the waters simply for reassurance that might push you over an edge you aren’t sure you want to cross.

“anything less than what you deserve,” bucky clarifies. “the sweet, sappy love with the notes and pictures and gifts and safety and never letting you forget how loved you are. the basics.”

you cock your head at him, trying not to drown in the wishes you had listed long ago that tumble from bucky’s mouth.

“oh,” you whisper, eyes flickering to the polaroids you have around your room, adorned with small, smudged words written messily in pen by bucky when he’d given them to you. there are post-its scrawled with his handwriting taped to your walls and hidden in a box underneath your bed. you can’t help but see the parallels between his explanation of the love you “deserve” and the love he constantly rains over you.

the attraction you’d begun to harbor for him yearns more at the possibility of it being returned—because here he is, laying it out for you with his reflection displayed on the plans.

“the universe would be insane to not give you that,” bucky goes on, the absolute resolve that you can make out in his words staggering. “anyone overall would be insane not to love you.”

there’s a twinkle in his eye that you’d grown used to, yet you observe when you look up at him again, what you were trying to do forgotten as you search his features. he doesn’t seem to acknowledge how deeply you scrutinize the softened lines of his face, the gentle lift of his lip as he looks at you.

you swallow, beginning to step toward him. “really?”

“yeah,” bucky replies like it’s obvious, nearly nonchalant but it fails with how deep his intent runs.

you realize the space that separated you wasn’t all that large when you find yourself closer to him than you thought before, and your breath stalls, completely caught up in the moment. bucky doesn’t seem too different, dilated pupils unmoving from your face, tugging you closer without a single touch.

“oh,” you breathe out, goosebumps rising on your skin when bucky puffs out a gentle laugh, his hand reaching to set on your jaw.

“what?” he asks curiously, his thumb pressing soft shapes into your cheek.

it’s like honey, his touch, the severity of his stare clicking something inside of you that you’d been so afraid to open.

suddenly, you’re certain. because surely nobody can look at you the way bucky is looking at you—touch you with the care he treats you with, tell you all the things he whispers in your ear without reflecting the feelings you have for him.

“i love you,” you blurt, tangled in a breath with the relief of the admission finally meeting your tongue, watching as something passes through his face—surprise, at first, and then there’s a brief indication of relief, just a flash, gone quickly enough to let you believe it was simply a figment of your imagination. his fingers stop moving on your face, and suddenly his features harden, pulling his touch away entirely.

there are alarm bells ringing in your brain, because this is not going the way you’d convinced yourself it would. he was supposed to smile and kiss you clumsily, mumbling out that he loved you too and you would say obviously and he would laugh.

not removing himself from your reach, staring holes into your head, red bubbles of frustration darkening his eyes.

“what the fuck?” he snaps. and the words are so sudden and sharp that they nearly make you flinch, spine straightening with a velocity that jumbles your words with the speed at which they try to tumble from your lips. he either doesn’t notice or doesn’t care.

“you what?” he demands, his tone foreign to your ears coming from the same lips that have never once let words edged with a raised tone slip past. bucky doesn’t speak to you like that. bucky doesn’t harden and bucky never raises his voice. not at you, never at you.

you swallow harshly, trying to remember the bucky that you know, convince yourself that this isn’t real—this is wrong—but his features are masked with a pinch you’d never seen directed at you, tense lines hardening his face with a chilling anger.

“i love you,” you repeat, but the words are weaker now, not as easily formed as the first time.

“no you don’t,” bucky interrupts immediately, thinning his eyes at you. “what the hell? no, you don’t—you can’t.”

you blink fast, looking away from his face, scrunched in anger, but he isn’t having it. “i do—”

“you can’t fuckin’ do this to me, y/n. i don’t need this,” he growls.

“what?” you croak. “i don’t—i thought you—”

“i don’t,” bucky snaps, forcing the lies to escape his throat. “i don’t love you.”

the words knock the air from your lungs, eyes beginning to burn with tears that don’t come easily to you. “what?” you whimper.

“how could you think i did?” he asks, ripping out your heart as it beats and shakes and sobs.

he tries to pretend like it’s not him who is saying these horrible things, as if he’s closing his eyes, hidden away from the body that continues to deny your confession for your own good. “what the hell is wrong with you?” he’s never thought his voice could be so harsh.

“i didn’t mean to—” you begin, your voice as small as you’d ever heard it, trembling with your worst fear solidifying. you should have known. how could you have been such a fool? bucky does not need to deal with one of the few friends he’s so close to in the tower having a stupid, unrequited crush on him. you’ve made things so difficult, you’ve ruined your relationship. “i’m sorry.”

“you’re sorry?” he mocks cruelly, shaking his head. “i don’t want this. i don’t want you.”

your neck snaps up when you hear him beginning to leave, rushing forward to tug his arm gently. “please don’t leave,” you plead tearily. “can we pretend like i never said anything? nothing will change, i promise. i can’t lose you.”

bucky’s laugh is cold, splintering through your heart. “how could you be so—” he shakes his head, shutting his mouth before he can finish his thought. “i can’t believe you.”

“i’m sorry,” you cry, tears bubbling down your cheeks before you can stop them in a stupor of shame. “i’m so sorry, bucky, i will do anything—”

“shut up,” he snarls, and the words die on your tongue with the venom in the way he looks at you. “i can’t even look at you right now. stop fuckin’ crying and leave me alone. i can’t deal with you.”

his words, dipped in his fury, are unrecognizable, foreign from the man who mutters jokes into your ear on movie nights and tucks pieces of hair away from your eyes, who deals with any problem with a deep breath and an assurance that it will be okay because he hates to get mad at you, he hates seeing you cry and there is absolutely nothing you could do to make him love you any less.

the sharp slam of the door of your room counters that, bringing with it the blade of the words that still thunder in your head.

your face crumples, hot droplets of tears burning your skin.

the heat of bucky’s anger burns even from where you’re standing, and the utter hatred in the way he looked at you, spoke to you, makes you shake. you stifle cries, desperate to not bother your best friend and slide down your bed to the floor, biting your lip hard enough to draw blood in a weak attempt to calm your cries.

you shut your eyes, bucky’s words displayed proudly across your dark lids. you straighten, sadness melting away into anger. you rub at your nose, face heating in your fury, and rush out of the room, not bothering to grab your phone or bag, uncaring that it’s the middle of the night and the sky is the darkest you’ve ever seen.

you pointlessly wipe your face with your sleeve as you rush into the elevator and push the button for the ground floor, your mask of rage slipping when you pass bucky’s room. your lip wobbles as you stare at the numbers above the elevator doors until you’re unable to help the sobs as your mind races to find a solution to what you’ve done.

this is your fault. this is your fault and you need to fix it or else the only person you’ve felt so much love for and so loved by will never look at you the same again. you can’t stand making bucky angry, much less causing something that will make his life difficult—especially after he’s worked so hard to create some sense of normalcy and trusting relationships—but it’s difficult to concentrate on how to fix it when the fear that you’ve ruined the best relationship you’ve had over your stupidity inks your thoughts.

you’re distraught enough to walk six blocks and never once notice the men that follow behind you.

your mind lags when you’re suddenly thrown against a wall, the hiccups from your sobs increasing because of the hand that covers your mouth. your vision is too blurry with tears for you to recognize any of the people that are in front of you, hands useless as they attempt to claw at the arms that hold you against the unyielding alley. the training tony had made you go through when he hired you as his lab tech feels useless as you choke on your grief and fear, weak in your struggles against their attack.

it’s easy for them to knock you out, and you can only feel the ache of your hurt expanding icily as your attacks cede, limbs growing limp, damp eyelids drooping shut.

your eyes are swollen when you come to again, and you can’t be sure if it’s from the crying you could still feel in your raw throat or the assault you couldn’t even remember anymore. you blink hard, trying to adjust to the darkness of the room you think you’re in.

briefly, tony’s voice rings in your head, reminding you to look for exits and weapons. you can only see one door in the darkness, and as far as you can make out, it does not have a doorknob. although you doubt you could muster up enough strength to escape from the binds that dig into your wrists and ankles, surely bruising your skin although you barely fight against them. the room is bare and unclean, with stains of the color of rust at your feet.

you know it’s no use screaming. all it would do is bleed your throat further and anger your kidnappers.

the name makes you flinch. the word feels so usual yet foreign in your mind. it’s unfairly common in your place of work, but never to you—not the scientist that tony keeps safely hidden away in the lab. not the tech that has gone on the field once and was stuck to bucky’s side for the entirety of the time.

the thought of him brings an ugly taste to your mouth and a new rush of painful tears. you fucked up the relationship with your best friend and now he was furious at you. he doesn’t even want to look at you. will he ever even get the chance again? would he notice you were gone? would he care?

there’s a faint commotion beyond the doors that makes your thoughts freeze in their tracks. your kidnappers are saying something.

the rightful title appears in your thoughts again, making the reality of your situation set in faster than you were expecting it to; you were kidnapped, and nobody was going to find you.

out of everything, it’s guilt that bucky is most accustomed to.

it’s heavy and spiteful, eating away at his mind until it’s clouded even the memories he’s tried to keep hidden away from the fog that is his sin. it sneaks into the crooks of his life—the argument his brain pipes up with when he’s debating taking the last donut, the reason that he doesn’t allow himself to enjoy himself fully—why he won’t let himself believe that your revelation was anything more than fake.

why would an honor so sweet be bestowed upon someone like him? someone with stained fingertips and a broken mind.

it screws with him, the possibility of the truth. because no matter how much the voice of logic in his mind insists that someone like you could never love someone like him, there’s the gentle light of hope that you’ve helped rekindle, nudging him toward something that will surely only end up hurting him, and most importantly, hurting you.

he brings with him pain and ghosts and you are so undeserving of it.

so no, he decides. you cannot possibly love him.

but the look on your face flashes in front of his eyes, and he realizes that the circumstance of you actually loving him back might be more dangerous than the lie of it.

he needs to protect you—from him, from everything that haunts him—he loves you too much to let you fall into the fire that is him.

he did the right thing by rejecting you, yet the guilt continues to gnaw at him, the tears that wouldn’t stop sliding down your cheeks carrying something worse than what he expected. you’re what he has always wanted and he pushed you away, and as much as that is what he needed to do for you, he’s selfish in wanting you still. in any way.

he opens his eyes again with a sad little gasp, surprised at the chill that hits his face wet with tears he wasn’t aware of. he catches a glimpse of himself in his broken mirror, and he’s never hated the sight more, the words he spat at you tattooed on his skin in dark ink.

he shakes his head, standing from his bed to apologize until he can’t anymore and plead that you stay in his life.

he runs a hand over his face as he walks out of his room, clenching his jaw when he catches sight of the door he slammed now slightly open. he knocks softly, forcing his eyes to the ground when the door opens further.

“y/n?” he calls out hesitantly when there’s no response, finally looking up to an empty room. his brows furrow. something is wrong.

you never leave your room if you’re upset; it’s always either his room or yours, because your bed is here and everyone else is outside.

he opens the door fully when he spots your phone on your bed where he last saw it. in fact, everything is as he last saw it.

he knows he has no right after what he said to you, but his bad feeling won’t allow him to leave without knowing where you are.

“friday, where’s y/n?” he asks.

“miss l/n left her room three hours ago,” the ai responds curtly. and he swears it sounds colder than the last time he talked to her.

“three hours?” bucky repeats. friday confirms, and bucky shakes his head. “no… she wouldn’t leave her phone. where did she go? has she come back?”

“miss y/n left the building, and without her phone, i cannot track her.”

“you have to be able to do something,” bucky insists. “she’s a part of the team.”

“i am unable to do anything further without mister stark’s permission,” friday informs.

bucky’s fingers reach up to tangle in his hair, tugging in frustration as panic begins to brew. alarm bells are going off in his head and an anvil sits on his chest.

“well, get his permission,” bucky orders, but friday’s voice comes back as calm as ever as she rebuts him. he doesn’t care to stick around for the end of her sentence, taking off toward the door to head to tony.

he’s eating a granola bar with natasha and steve in a conference room when he finds him, features scrunching when bucky tells him to order his ai to track you.

“no,” he replies incredulously. “shouldn’t you know either way? you’re always attached at the hip,” he points out. bucky’s jaw clenches, mind running in every possible direction. natasha offers a scrutinizing glance, eyebrows joining. “actually, building on that—” tony starts. “wouldn’t blame her if she needed a little break.” he points the granola at bucky, but he isn’t fazed.

“something is wrong,” he says, as calm as he can muster. “friday says she hasn’t been in her room for three hours and she left her phone there.”

“so? she could’ve forgotten. maybe she left with wanda or bruce or someone. unlike you, she has more than one friend.”

“not today. not right now,” bucky snaps. “tony,” he pleads now, meeting steve’s eye. “something is wrong.”

tony’s features set as he scans bucky’s face, and suddenly something clicks, his head cocking to the side dangerously.

“what happened?” steve asks worriedly as tony finally reaches for his tablet.

“we had a fight. she wouldn’t leave for so long—without her phone, without telling anyone.”

tony listens along as he looks at the screen, typing things into the keyboard. “friday, get me all footage of y/n in the last three hours.”

“what did you do?” natasha cuts in, her words sharp as if she knew exactly what he’d said to you.

“it doesn’t matter right now,” bucky mumbles, his gaze glued to the screen. the screen showcases the hallway outside yours and bucky’s rooms, and he tenses as he watches the footage of you poking your head out from your door, greeting him with a smile.

“fast forward,” tony tells friday. bucky hoods his eyes when it lands on another screen, where he can catch his own muffled words, knowing what’s coming.

"what the hell is wrong with you?" he flinches at his own words, hating the sight of the shine of the tears streaking down your cheeks when he closes his eyes. he can feel natasha’s glare. more of his voice comes from the creaked door, your own clothed in tears.

"i don't want you." bucky squeezes his eyes shut. "stop fuckin’ crying and leave me alone." hearing the words in his voice hurts impossibly more than he thought it would. they’re sharper, more convincing than he thought, and the things he tried to comfort himself with fade away with the slam of the door after he walks out, the only sound remaining your cries.

“what the hell is wrong with you?” natasha echoes, her words echoing his from the video. “i’m going to murder you.”

“where did she go after that?” bucky ignores her. “i just need to know she’s okay.”

“you don’t deserve to know anything about her—” natasha hisses, beginning to stand from her chair, but steve sets a hand on her shoulder, directing her burning glare to the screen, where you leave your room, sniffling. the video switches to the feed inside the elevator, where buck can’t tear his eyes off of you as you sob, a hand desperately trying to wipe away your tears.

tony’s turned to bucky now, too.

bucky follows your figure when you leave the elevator and then the building, and friday fast-fowards through video feed from various different cameras until one finally slows, and you’re suddenly pulled into an alley. the angle is awful, but there’s just enough light to catch the light reflecting off your terrified face as three men push you against a wall.

the one not touching you catches sight of the camera, pulling a gun from his coat to point and shoot. the video crackles to static.

“no, no, no…” bucky mumbles, hands reaching up to his hair, beginning to tug. the clip replays, pausing on a close up of your face, cheek pressed against the wall with a force that must be painful, eyebrows joined and eyes widened in fear.

tony sets down his tablet with a quiet thump, rubbing the bridge of his nose, mulling over what he had just seen. natasha is still for only a few seconds before she’s into action, reaching for the tablet and beginning to mutter orders to friday. there’s an imperceptible shake of her hands as she allows a glance up to your face again.

“this is my fault,” bucky mumbles angrily. “fuck me. fuck me.”

“yes, fuck you,” natasha agrees, coolly and to the point, not once sparing him a look. “fuck you for saying that to her and for making her cry but mostly fuck you for not doing everything you fucking can to find her right now. fix your fucking mistake and get to work, barnes.”

he squeezes his fist, tugging on the bracelet you’d made and lovingly tied around his wrist. the emotion that had kissed his face pink and tugged his features in guilt disappears within a second, wiped clean enough for the memory of it to be hazy even if it was so fresh. he sniffs, nods curtly, and steps out of the conference room, entirely business even as he drowns in what you’ve always encouraged him to pour out to you.

“i’m gonna check the place we last had eyes on her,” he informs briefly, hearing no audible response from the distracted avengers inside the conference room.

he doesn’t let his guilt tinge his vision as he examines your blood on the wall, too terrified to let himself mess up at your expense again.

you gasp in air as soon as the wet towel someone had thrown over your face before dumping water on your head is removed, whimpers sewn in between desperate panting. your lashes are wet and hairs stick to your forehead, fat droplets of water running down your chin.

unforgiving fingers clasp your chin, cruelly tilting your face up to meet unfamiliar eyes. you squint against the light, wanting nothing more than to close your eyes and pretend that there is no man scanning your face hungrily, sinister amusement crinkling his eyes, contempt puckering his lips.

“such a pretty thing,” he drawls, a finger pressing into your skin. “i don’t think your avengers would be too happy to lose something as pretty as you,” he mocks.

“i’m not gonna tell you anything,” you croak.

the playfulness in his features disappears then, and his bruising grip disappears into a resounding slap.

you can’t help the gasp that parts your lips and stings your eyes, whimpers slipping past your throat when he grabs you again, pulling your face close to his.

“listen to me, little girl,” he growls. “either you tell me and i let you live or your stupid little soldier comes and i take my time killing him until you cough it up. then i kill you.”

you scan his face, swallowing hard. “you mean bucky? he’s not gonna come for me.”

“he will. and when he does, i’ll enjoy making him pay for betraying hydra. maybe i’ll have a little walk down memory lane. the doc left great notes on the winter soldier.”

you scoff, pushing past the fear although your trembling is undeniable. “didn’t you do your homework? bucky doesn’t give a shit about me. you really think he’d risk his life—his freedom for someone he doesn’t even like? you kidnapped the wrong person if what you want is bucky.” the thought is bitter enough to comfort you, the reassurance that bucky will be fine sweet enough to combat the acridity of his resent for you.

the man’s lip twitches, his eyes boring into yours as they try to find if you’re being honest. he shoves your face back, and you slam into the chair with a shuddering breath, the phantom of his grip still heavy on your skin.

he sniffs and gestures vaguely. “let’s give her the winter soldier treatment.”

your heart drops, memories of what bucky’s told you displayed across your mind until they blackout your mind completely, and the only thing left is a promise.

you are going to die today.

bucky feels blurry, as if he’s flickering in and out of awareness in his frantic panic. the words he says are cut and dry, carrying only information because it is the only thing he has the strength for—but it feels rehearsed, scripted.

he wishes it were. he aches for this not to be real, and what he would offer a god he doesn’t believe in for you is heavy on his mind, pleading so desperately that he begins to eye the tower, the team, and selfishly offer it all up for you.

his anger shoves him down on a chair, but his desperation is frenetic in its reminders that any second not searching for you is a second longer that you will be out of his grasp and in the thorns of someone else’s. the handles of the chair groan underneath the pressure of his fingers, wrapping around the metal in their attempts to clutch something tangible, something real and not the idea of where you are, or the leads that only end in strangled cries, the numbers that float by on the screen in front of tony.

his arm sits heavy by his side, tapping the table curtly so as to have something to do, although bucky has never hated it more—to have something so sought after, stained with blood and tears and pain and bitter triumphs, yet be so incredibly useless when it counts.

he doesn’t want to ask what he can do because he should know. he got you into this mess and he should know how to get you out, but he’s flailing, his fingers only grazing the edges of everything he’s already done. he knows what it means and he wants to scream at the universe for it.

there’s a thin beep that echoes in the conference room, muting steve’s mumbled plans and bucky’s silent examination of any files he can get his hands on, although his eyes kept drifting to the grainy picture of you pressed up against the wall.

tony freezes, the pen in his mouth dropping as he stares at his tablet.

“what?” natasha demands, looking away from her work to catch sight of tony, all color drained from his face.

he sucks in a breath and taps at the screen. “friday, search for any identifying features, scan every pixel, do you understand?”

the large monitor in front of the table darkens for a second before a video begins to play, and it doesn’t take long for the team to figure out what’s going on. bucky’s heart drops to his stomach as he rises from his chair, breathing heavily. “no,” he murmurs, terrified. his worst fears come into fruition as he stares at your unmoving figure tied up in a chair, the shaky camera only allowing him view to the worst of your injuries—already darkened bruises littering your skin, smudged red on your face.

a different face overtakes the picture, dark eyes lit with amusement and crinkled by a smile. “a pretty thing, isn’t she?” he croaks, moving the camera back to you. he moves closer, and bucky feels bile rise up his throat.

natasha presses her eyes shut when the camera pans straight over your face, where bucky can see cuts and the indentations of fingers and hands. your eyes are shut, and you remain unmoving even when gloved fingers wrap around your chin tightly, tipping your head back.

bucky nearly follows her lead.

and then you groan. your eyes flutter open, but they only allow bucky to see the insipid acceptance that laces your irises, coated by fear.

“she’s holdin’ up better than we thought,” his tone is impressed, but as silence drags on, he becomes angrier, his hold on your jaw digging deeper until you wince and move back, but he doesn’t let you. “‘but she won’t for long.”

the camera flips back to him. “hey, winter. if you think you had it bad, it won’t be nothin’ compared to this. promise.”

the camera moves around, catching the ceiling and other frames while he seems to look for something. he hums in delight when he finds it, and excitedly waves a sharp blade in front of the camera. “she swears winter won’t come for her,” he starts, lips contorting in disappointment. the camera slips again to capture the blade against your skin. “but i kinda hope he does. for her sake. such a pretty thing… “

the conference room darkens, the video’s end calling for an entirely new wave of terror.

“we have his face,” natasha pipes up, weakly.

“‘lotta good that’s done us,” tony argues.

“we know she's alive. we have an image of where she is,” natasha snaps, stepping toward him. “and if you were as good as you say you are, his face would be all we needed.”

tony’s about to reply when friday cuts in, bringing up the frames of the video where the man was distracted. “mister stark, i have a location.”

the argument forgotten, natasha and tony snap to the screen. bucky stands, stepping toward them to see the blinking dot indicating your whereabouts. once his eyes have memorized the street names, he’s out the door and headed for his bike, the rest of the group not far behind. a plan is forming behind him, and he manages to catch the bones of it, his role outlined with enough trust for him to not question it.

the rumble of his bike underneath him allows him an anchor to reality, where he’s threatened to float away otherwise.

“i’m coming,” he whispers, speeding up as he remembers your desolate eyes and broken skin. “just hold on, sweetheart. i’m on my way.”

there’s a pout on your kidnapper’s lips as he observes you, looking back to his wrist to tap his watch. judging by the ticks, it’s been too long since he’s sent the video. his jaw is tense, probably nearing realization that you were right. the thought is as satisfying as it is heartbreaking.

“i told you. you can’t get what you want from me,” you rasp.

the man scowls, nostrils flaring. his patience is thin and his anger raw, awakened with the gentle nudge of your words. he comes close enough for you to feel his breath on your face, and his fingers are around your neck when you close your eyes, unwilling to continue looking into his.

“i better,” he threatens. “that’s the only thing keeping me from screwing your mind up so bad you’ll be better off dead.”

you swallow hard, your consciousness vignetting as oxygen continues to escape you. you nearly wish it did so faster, but your torturer is too cruel for even that, releasing you as you begin to go limp.

you choke in air and cough, your tongue catching iron from the split in your lip.

he hums as he takes you in. “you’re like him. at least like how zola wrote about him,” he states, cocking his head at you.

“what?” you cough.

“the winter soldier. before he became useful,” he explains thoughtfully, eyeing you. he wipes away the blood from your cupid’s bow with a thumb. “if he won’t come, maybe we’ll make a new one.”

your blood is ice in your veins as you absorb what he’s implying. his touch is tender, careful on your skin. you flinch.

“imagine that. the wit of iron man and looks of the black widow. the ability of the winter soldier, but… no connections. no one to save the soldier this time.” his voice is dreamy, excited. “we’ll break you even worse. we’ll make you kill them all.”

“no,” you whimper, straining against your restraints. “no, please. just kill me, please.”

“i think he begged like that, too,” he muses.

bucky is tinged with the soldier.

he darkens his thoughts until they become locked memories with only bodies and guilt as remnants. but now, it’s bucky who pulls the trigger, who finds himself too bitter to pull punches.

he's left the guards to the rest of the group to move forward faster, sticking by natasha.

there’s a room at the end of the building, and he takes off at the same time nat does. she turns to him when they slow, catching the voice from the video. “you’re not going in there,” she tells him, pulling a gun from her belt.

“of course i am,” bucky argues, readying himself to kick the door in.

“this is your fault. you don’t deserve to feel like the hero, barnes.”

“this isn’t that,” bucky insists. “i need to feel that she’s okay.”

natasha settles an unsure glance his way, but the conversation is over, drowned by the dust that follows bucky’s easy entrance.

your kidnapper wears a coy grin, stepping in front of you, yet bucky’s zeroed in on you and the tears that streak across dried vermillion and dark purples. “winter,” he begins. “i’m so glad you—”

bucky takes off toward you while natasha ends the speech before it can start with a clean shot, watching as the man drops to the floor. she’s a quick step toward you before she stops, noting the anguish with which bucky spills over.

you're alive is all she needs to know, and she gets in a few more shots at the man who did this to you as bucky rushes to you.

his name falls from your lips in a small croak, coated in disbelief, obvious you had succumbed to the fear, slipped into the exhaustion and dreadful acceptance. but the torment displayed on bucky’s face is unlike you have ever seen before—crumpled far beyond what your mind could make up, and you allow yourself to fall into the hope you couldn’t help but hold onto, completely uncaring if this isn’t real because it’s so much better than what you will surely open your eyes to otherwise.

he is at your side immediately, face falling as he catches sight of the bruises that coat your skin. he crouches to you, undoing your restraints with ease. his strength makes you flinch, even though it’s not toward you, and he pauses when he notices, something you don’t recognize glossing over his face before he continues, attempting to be calmer.

you can’t stop looking at him, your eyes crazed as they scan the reality of him. you repeat his name softly, a beg of are you real? in the way you stare.

“i’m here,” he promises, a hesitant hand reaching out to you. the warmth of it as it comes in contact with your cheek is as safe as you remember his touch, and you lean into it, letting out a stifled sob of relief.

“you came,” you cry, throwing yourself against him. his arms wrap around you securely, pulling as close as he can with as much delicacy he can muster in his desperation. “i thought you weren’t gonna come,” you sob, grasping his shirt as tight as you can.

“‘m always gonna come,” he tells you, tightening his grip on you.

“you were mad. i thought you didn’t care. i thought—” your words cut off as you push your face into the crook of his neck. “you came for me.”

“i’m sorry,” he mumbles. “i’m so sorry, sweetheart. i love you so much, i shouldn’t have yelled—i shouldn’t have said any of that. i love you and i’m sorry i made you feel like that. i’m so sorry. i just need you to be safe. you’re safe now, i swear.”

you can only shut your eyes, unable to absorb his words in the relief that he’s here, real and solid and saving you like he always does. he mumbles his apologies as he gently hoists you into his arms and carries you out of the dreaded room, repeatedly pressing kisses into your hair between strings of i love yous and i’m sorrys.

right now, it’s enough that he’s in between your fingers, warm underneath your skin, his promises sweet against your neck. right now, the safety of him is enough.

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