#all of Mac’s male relatives

[stglennfucker]

Gonna compile a list of every male character in sunny that could conceivably pound Dennis just for @nailgunstigmata

#including pondy #rob thomas #fuck it sinbad too #the other Bruce Mathis #all of Mac’s male relatives #the entire Mob #and a full gay bar

[jacksprostate]

f Narrator wanting to murder maim mutilate m marla.. or marla/ male marla and narrator/f narrator worsties/besties. or marla/male marla and tyler… or anything with marla/ male marla..

Marlon called me, interrupted me at work, and he said he had a bruise. He said I needed to come and look at it right away, because he needed to know.

This was him, asking me, pounded flank steak, to look and tell him the nature of his bruise.

Marlon hasn't had health insurance in years, so he tries not to think about it, usually. It's easy, since there's no difference when you have health insurance. It's old hat.

But today, he thought about it.

And he noticed a bruise.

So I'm walking up to the Regent hotel after work, and he's in the lobby in his limp little tank top. He'd call it a wifebeater and imagine himself in place of the wife, I'm sure. I wonder if he isn't cold all the time. Mr. Marlon Singer, such a masochist just so he can show off his skeletal body with all the cigarette burns I have to hear him and Tyler laughing over.

I am Jane's abnormal hemorrhoid development.

He doesn't mention what Tyler and I stole from him, even though I think it was all the cash he had. Even though just three days ago he tried to chase me around the house and beat me with a broom. He made me and Tyler go sleep in the junkyard. Buried under our furs, howling at the moon. Maybe I can't fault him for that.

He couldn't keep it here where the guys he brings back could get at it, he said, and sure. But he should've known better than to tell Tyler about it, because now it's bags upon bags of lye being kept in the driest room in the house.

I work on grinding cracks into my remaining teeth as he grabs his neighbors Agatha and Dianne's Meals on Wheels kits. The delivery lady remarks on what a good young man Marlon must be, helping out these old ladies. Oh, yeah. A real, upstanding, mummified rat of a man. Maybe he helped them into the ditch. He yaps at me the entire walk up to his room, and I don't hear a word as I methodically rip up the skin around Tyler's kiss on my hand with a broken nail. It's been infected since Tuesday, and the ring of puffy red flesh makes the ghost of her lips white like the center of a neon tube. Always buzzing.

We get to his room, he says to me, "One of these boxes is for you, you know."

I think about all the women who bother to use what little time they have to operate charities that keep the poor and destitute alive enough to want to kill themselves. All that time spent cooking mac and cheese en masse and putting little packets of powdered milk next to little cartons of the liquid, like they get at schools and prisons, packets that can only be opened by the nimble fingers of caring relatives these elderly recipients do not have.

Sure.

Tyler told me I need to be eating at least two meals a day, or she'd steal a blender and make me drink raw chicken. So I eat the Meals on Wheels box. Sorry Agatha. I rip open the powdered milk packet, dump it into the carton, hold it closed, and shake it. Twice the calories. A recipe for palliative care.

Marlon's sitting there, quiet, eating Dianne's latest last meal. All the urgency is gone. Sucked dry. He's got pallor like a hospice heart failure. When dogs get treated for heartworms, the worms die, and sometimes, not all of them break apart. Sometimes, there will be thin, dead cords of necrotized nematode strung through their heart waiting for the right beat to fall apart and clot a vital artery. This can take years to happen. Your pet recovers perfectly from treatment until seven years down the line, you give it a doggy cupcake and a pulmonary embolism for its tenth birthday.

Marlon looks like he's had his first melarsomine injection and his owner is thinking about taking him to a dog park instead of bothering with the second. If you let a dog get its heart rate up too high when getting treated for all the parasites you let grow in it, its heart will explode. Or all the worms will clog its lungs. Whichever one it is, it's happening to Marlon here in this room. On this bed.

He says he'd found a bruise, a while back. A nasty little thing, like the crush of a plum under your thumb. Near one of his ankles. And Marlon Singer knew he couldn't afford any novel treatments, and he'd seen too many people rot from the inside out from them already. He did not go to the clinic down the street that gets its windows broken in often enough that there's just big black billowing sails of trashbags over their storefront more often than not. Marlon says he once saw a rat nailed to the door, which is something you'd think would be too neat and poetic for real life. He didn't go to the clinic because he didn't have to. And maybe if he was fucking guys he wanted to he would be a bit more cautious, but the men Marlon Singer gets to fuck are the type to have given him those bruises in the first place. They're the reason there's single mothers visiting that clinic, like half melted wax getting scraped out of the picture. He says he shouldn't feel guilty.

I tell Marlon about where I got the idea for poisoning all the food at the Pressman hotel.

He asks me what I mean by that, and I tell him about my first boss at the company I work for now.

When I first started there, I was selling our cars to companies. Bulk orders for work vehicles. My job was to not fuck up any contracts we already had. Marlon is probably aware, but the type of man involved in that sort of thing, he knows he's got you on a collar and chain. You and him both know he'll be renewing the contract, but you have to do the song and dance for him. Pretend you like how close he gets to you. Pretend you don't want to rip his testicles from his ballsack when he leans in sweaty and tells you how he likes your hair, did you go and do all that just for me?

Because he knows. And you know. But enduring this is what you were hired to do. If you were a man, you would've been hired to create a sense of the old boys club with this guy. But you're not.

There is so much pretense in the world.

Anyway, my first boss, call him Joe — whenever I'd return from those trips and dinners, Joe wouldn't pretend that it wasn't a shit job. He'd commiserate and wish me luck with the next one. He didn't overstep, he wasn't creepy, he kept his distance. The best you could hope for. Thirty days on the job, they asked me how I was doing, and I told them I was doing great. The job was amazing, I felt embraced by the company, my boss was great. One of those things was true to me.

And when Joe got his promotion, for being such a great regional manager, he cornered me in my cubicle and informed me he'd been jerking off into my nicely labeled thin salad lunches each time they showed up in the office fridge. He told me this with the same smile he'd always worn.

Marlon, he's next to me, and he leans closer like we're having a nice little confession. My skin itches.

It was before the 90 day clause kicked in my health coverage, so I had to wait at one of those free clinics like Marlon's, and I was surrounded by a lot of young men, wispy mangled pears. What little flesh was left was soft. When I told the nurse what happened, I watched myself die in her eyes. Dappling up with rashes and bruises until I was all painted and sunken like a bog body.

For the longest time, I wondered if I'd become the oral Mary. How many times I vomited in that office toilet, I don't know. I stopped bringing lunch.

The thing is, I couldn't see it in his face. Joe's, I mean. Not even when he told me. I couldn't see it in anyone. So I stopped eating out. Stopped eating altogether, really.

Marlon, his response was to go to the support groups. His tragedy was that it was a slow death, coming for him. Best to wriggle into the pile of dying bodies, see what it's like. Maybe that could muster enough suicidal impulse.

I tell Marlon, of course, I couldn't go to HR. I was a new hire with no evidence and previous record of liking my boss. I didn't want to tell my mom. I didn't want her to know. Those uncomfortable dinners became absolutely, wretchedly unbearable as I thought about the food I was being forced to share.

When the option came up for a dead end job in the least loved department in the building, I put on the best performance of my life to get the part. Best aspiring Compliance and Liability head and sole department employee, that's me. My new job was to keep secrets. It was, already, old hat.

For months I thought about waking up from a narcoleptic fit at my desk, with Joe leaning over the cubicle wall and asking if I was alright. I watched my stomach like it was nuclear. Every extra second it took until I bled like usual slid me closer to buying myself a shotgun and pumping a slug or two into my brain.

It's an unavoidable fear, I tell Marlon. You can't do anything about it. Once you know, you know. At some point, you have to find the peace in it. Imagine yourself, a balloon popping with meaty chunks flying apart, splattering onlookers and raining viscera.

For a month, six months, I had cancer. Worse than cancer. Every time I eat out, I get it again.

Marlon is looking at me, melting stained glass, drowning in that sort of shared pity you build together with someone who's dying.

I don't want Marlon to feel guilty.

I tell Marlon, that's why I poison the food at the Pressman hotel. Someone's got to do it. Blood in the tomato sauce, spit on the steak. Imagine what you could do to a soup. The men who go to the Pressman hotel, they're the kind that leave Marlon bloody and walking around Paper Street calling for Tyler to come out and burn more holes into him. They're the kind that get promoted from regional manager. They're the kind that lean in close, pull your wrist towards them, and say there's one way they know you could secure the contract renewal. The kind that almost ruin it in a temper tantrum when you don't, resulting in an upper management intervention on the 24th day of your new job. They're the kind that hear that shit and say you should've been more appeasing. More polite.

Don't feel guilty, Marlon.

I hope all of them rot so everyone can see the maggots eating their insides.

Marlon isn't smiling. I am unavoidably bad at distracting him. There's something final in it, when he sighs, and takes off his tank top. He says it's on his back, and I should just tell him.

I look. I see it. Black hole, botfly, necrosis. There's so many things these broken blood vessels could be. Withering, snapping apart like mummified heartworms. I imagine driving the two inch melarsomine needle deep into the muscles bunched upon his spine.

I look.

I press my hands into him, and I grip like I'm trying to rend my fingers through his skin, deep into his body cavity to rip out his guts. Like I'm trying to grab the rope of his small intestine and strangle him with it. Marlon's yelling at me and trying to hit me, arms flapping like a chicken, and I am bruising ten deep circles into the soft pearskin of his abdomen. It's the only place left on him that's mealy, that isn't frayed rope under worn out leather.

I tell him, you've got bruises. They look mostly normal, to me.

Don't worry too much about it.

And Marlon, he leans into me, and I let him.

#asks #fight club #female fight club au #my writing #obv directly in parallel to the book chapter #this has been sort of floating in my head #in the book its probably the most caring moment the narrator has for marla #and i think that is the same here actually #its just female narrator off the charts detestes marlon more in the first place. puts all her sense of sympathy and shared solidarity into #Tyler. but. yeah #anyway made marlon's life absolutely miserable #and the narrators #i actually went back and forth on that #i dont want to... necessarily... give her Solid Reasons in a way male narrator doesnt have #but its sort of inescapable that fucked up misogynistic shit would happen #and i was thinking how to resolves the food contamination question in my head #hard to explain #inherently more horrible shit will happen to her than male narrator #but not excessively and i want it to feed into the same issues. in this case her complete subjugation in the office and inability to freely #reject the horrific shit shes forced to play along with #resulting in her doing the same to the fat cats rolling by #anyway #she does care about marlon #its complicated

[mermaidsirennikita]

In your opinion, who is the top 10 most sluttiest males in historical romance?

I don't know if I have like... a top 10, exactly? But I'd say that while most romance heroes are fairly experienced unless there's an actual plot point indicating otherwise (virgin hero, hero who's relatively inexperienced with an experienced heroine) in historical romance there's a difference between a *rake* and a generally experienced hero.

To me, the best rakes I've read have been:

Sebastian St. Vincent, Devil in Winter by Lisa Kleypas. Obviously, a very definitive rake. The fact that the book's plot hinges on him being celibate says a lot.

Erik MacSorley, The Hawk by Monica McCarty. He's just a really fun-loving, rakish hero, especially compared to a lot of the more serious heroes in this series. Jumps out of water fully naked a lot.

"Mac" MacKenzie, Lady Isabella's Scandalous Marriage by Jennifer Ashley. What makes Mac different is that he's married when the book begins. Most of this book is spent with him wanting to reunite with Isabella, but you get a lot of insight into his history with her before the book began, and his reputation.

The Duke of Lovingdon, When the Duke Was Wicked by Lorraine Heath. Lovingdon is special because he's very rakish, but he's a *tragic rake*, so he's only slutty because he can't handle being in an emotionally intimate relationship after the deaths of his wife and his child. Plus, there's a wild edge to this book because if you read the previous series, you see Lovingdon as a tiny child. He like.... grew up a lot.

Leo Ramsgate, the Marquess of Savage, How to Steal A Scoundrel's Heart by Vivienne Lorret. Notably rakish in that he has a System (a mistress has to sign a four-month contract, and she has to stay with him for no more and no less time). He's also just like, super convincingly experienced.

Kit Ward, The Lady Gets Lucky by Joanna Shupe. This one is notable in that everyone basically only thinks of Kit as a slut. He demands to be taken seriously!!!

Ransom Seymour, the Duke of Ainsley, Waking Up with The Duke by Lorraine Heath. Notable in that Ainsley is Extremely Classy in his rakishness (will not have sex with another guy's wife... typically) but is so notably good in bed that he is a part of the SPECTACULARLY named London's Greatest Lovers series; and also, his best friend specifically asks him to fuck his wife because Ainsley is known to be a great lay.

Edward Alcott, The Earl Takes All by Lorraine Heath. Lorraine writes really good rakes. But also, this one is notable in that Edward spends most of the book growing away from this, and becoming a good husband and father.

Gabriel St. John, the Marquess of Ralston by Sarah MacLean. Ralston is a magnificent slut. He's very seductive, very charming, very game, and very incapable of Deep Feelings. The book notably opens on the heroine (as a teenager) spying on him sucking on some titties. Like. Please.

The Duke of Avendale, The Duke and the Lady in Red by Lorraine Heath. What I find notable about Avendale is a) he's known for his orgies and b) he is a cold rake. He's not like, super fun about it, he just is really callous, if good in bed. The charm is skin deep. He really doesn't feel a lot. Until he meets The One, obviously, and then this book becomes a highly emotional novel that made me cry so.

#romance novel blogging #book recs

[unknownstarrl]

Some info about my MC/Yuu, Student #23(Beta)

Made in: Picrew

OC inspired: Yuu and the power of magic

Name: Yuri Hill

Kanji: ユーリ•ヒル

Romaji: Yūri Hiru

Quote: "Never! Call me!!! 'A lady' !!!!!!!"

“I am a terrible liar. I start sweating, my vision blurs, my brain stops working.”

Years: 1st

Dorm: Ramshackle

Power level: unknown

Nicknames: Yuu, Prefect,Hechman(Grim), Headmaster's child, Shrimpy/Koebi-chan(Floyd), Puppy(Crewel),Monsieur Trickster(Rook), Sweet potato(Vil), Briar Rose/Child of man(Malleus), Siren(Azul), Herbivore (Leona), Human(Sebek)

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Panromantic Demisexual

Height: 164cm

Eyes color: Brown(right), Blue(left)

Hair: Crow black

Age: 16

Birthday: May 31st(Gemini♊)

Dominant hand: right

Homeland: Japan(born), England(now)

Relatives: Unnamed parent✝️

Wilfred Hill(uncle/adoptive father)

Judie Hill née Williams (maternal aunt/adoptive mother)

Morela Hill (twin)

Grim(partner)

Cupcake ( dog - pet )

Occupation: NRC student, Supervisor,Housewarden, sorcerer's apprentice, the Dragonlord, beast tamer, Seer, Monstro Lounge's worker

Club: none

Class: 1-A

Best subject: History of magic (he love history😌), Alchemy

Language:English(Old trade),Japanese, German, Dragon Language (inspired Lost in Translation, @twsty-lav Language Barrier Au)

Magical items: wand holster, amulet

Weapon: magic wand, dagger

Hobbies: Singing ( disney songs🙂 ), cooking, reading fiction novel, drawing, learn magic with uncle

Favourite foods: Pumpkin cupcakes, Mac&Cheese(mother recipe)

Least favourite food: bone marrow

Likes: Mac and cheese, fiction novel, horror movies, Melanie Martinez's songs, disney, salad, raven, crow, guitar

Dislikes: Crowley, bullies, annoying people, spicy food, being called "girl", being compared to others (especially his twin)

Talents: Fast leaner, Dragon language, Fairy language, Animal language, Enchanting, Making Illusion, Enhanced memory, Alchemy/Potion making, Puzzle solving, Singing, Dancing, Cooking, Prophesy, Weapon summoning, Playing guitar, violin; Self-defense

VA: Alexander Ryak <English>, TOKUMIX <Japanese>

Personality:

Yuri is an optimist and a kind person. Contrary to his twin sister, Yuri is quite friendly with everyone and he will help anyone if they are in trouble. However, he will get annoyed and angry when someone tells him that he is a girl or dares to do anything to his twin sister.

Backstory:

Yuri and his twin sister have had to depend on each other since childhood, their parent always fighting each other and they never gave any attention to the twin. Their father was barely at home and their mother was always drunk. Sometimes the mother beat up the twins for very small things, so they had a lot of bruises on their bodies. When Yuri and Morela were 10 years old, their father died because of car accident, their mother was very happy thinking she would be able to take all of her husband's money so she went to the bar and had fun with the celebratory party but she was got robbed and killed on the way back home. Yuri and Morela were forced to move to live with their uncle in England. In here, they had known that their uncle is a wizard, they were taught magic and also changed their last name to his uncle's surname-Hill

While walking around the house, the twin accidentally discovered a secret room that their uncle didn't tell them. It was a room with nothing but a strange mirror hanging on a wall covered with a cloth. Because of curiosity, the twin removed the cloth and……The twin' journey begin here.

Unique Magic: None

Trivia:

Name "Yuri" meaning "lily flower" in Japan

Yuri has Claustrophobia( fear of confined spaces)

Yuri represents "Intelligence" - the other half of Merlin's soul

Yuri has the ability to become a seer

Yuri can use magic but just a fixed level because the more he uses magic, the more he will lose control of it

Magic the twin has kinda different than magic in Twisted Wonderland so that the Dark Mirror can't sense anything ( that make everyone think that the twin don't have magic )

Yur won't use his magic unless there's an emergency

Because Crowley was too gracious, he refused to provide money for the twin, Yuri have to work at Octavinelle to buy personal items and tuna for Grim

Yuri have a tattoo on his back

Funfact:

Yuri was born 5 minutes after Morela, that why Morela always tease on Yuri by calling him "Her cute baby brother"

Yuri is actually very smart, he is always in the top 10 in his old school and also in the NRC

When Yuri and Morela were a child, they used to a fan of Disney, so when the twin look at the Great Seven, they always feel familiar.

Only few people in school know Yuri can use magic ( yeah, all playable character knows🙂🙂🙂 and Crowley, Crewel )

Yuri often talk to his twin by English (Old trade) when they are alone or whispering

Yuri hates being told he is a girl or being compared to his twin

He like to hang out with the First years and then become their babysitter :)))))

Yuri really really hate Crowley and tired of NRC bullsh*t >:3

Student in NRC didn't like the Yuri at first, then because of "beast tamed", they became more friendly with him

All dormitories want the twin become their member but they always refuses because they thinks they belong to Ramshackle

Crowley really want to adopted the twin but they refuse (of course) :v

P/s: My English is kinda suck so I used google translate, please forgive me if there are any mistakes

#twisted wonderland #twst #twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #twst oc #twisted wonderland mc #twisted wonderland yuu #twst mc #twst yuu #someharrypotterreferences

[dearamleo]

New Fic! The Sinner’s Feast

Yes, I’m ignoring the fact that I have two other WIP that I have lost all passion for writing. Maybe writing something new will help with that. Who knows! Certainly not me!

Anyways- Sirius is in a criminal biker gang, Remus is the new surgeon in town, James is Sirius’s righthand man and Regulus is porn star! Also Teddy is there and they’re all wrapped around his tiny finger.

Chapter 1: Riding the Edge

Dropping the last file onto the stack, Remus groaned and peered down into his empty coffee cup. It was the last leg of his latest twelve hour shift and the caffeine was no longer keeping his eyes open like it had been six hours ago. Feeling a touch dramatic in his exhaustion, he leaned his head as far back against his chair as he could, limbs splayed out around his desk like some type of pathetic roadkill.

“Well, a good morning to you too, Doctor Lupin.”

Remus didn’t bother looking up. He knew the exact sarcastic look Lily was giving him, down to the arched auburn brow. “Is it?

“How much longer have you got left,” she asked, settling herself onto the corner of his desk.

“45 minutes. Just have to make it through this paperwork and then I can gorge myself on mac n cheese and fall blissfully asleep on my couch.”

Lily laughed at him. “Damn, that does sound good right about now.”

Finally Remus pulled himself together enough to look at her. “Did you not just get in, Evans?”

“Yes, but that doesn’t mean I don’t miss my own couch already. The Pediatric lounges just don't quite cut it.”

“Which is why you’re down here slumming it in my office?”

“Exactly,” she grinned. “Plus the Trauma nurses always make the best coffee. You shouldn’t even bother with defibrillators, just pour a bit of this down the patients’ throats and it would wake the dead.”

Remus snorted, looking mournfully at his empty cup again to find it had been replaced with a full and steaming one. He grinned at her, swiping it up and drinking deeply. “Hopefully it’ll get me through this last bit here then. I had to perform two appendicectomies today. I am praying that the rest of Godric’s Hollow’s appendixes hold themselves together for the remainder of the afternoon.”

Lily shrugged. “Seems like it’s going to be a quiet day-”

“ Nooooo ,” Remus groaned out at the same time that the hallway doors burst open. Several of the nurses were rushing by with a gurney already saturated in an alarming amount of blood and the man on top of it cursing loudly in pain. Remus gulped down the remainder of the coffee and glared at Lily as he stood. “Damn you, Lily Evans. You just had to say that!”

“Sorry,” she called after him.

He swung on his lab coat as he jogged after the nurses who were heading straight for the surgery.

“James Potter, male, 29 years old,” one of the nurses informed him. “Stab wound to the lower abdomen, several abrasions to the face, and a broken nose.”

“Hate to see the other guy,” Remus said offhandedly, leaning over the man to try and assess the situation.

“Don’t worry, I won him over with my charm,” the man grumbled before promptly passing out.

“Let’s get him straight into the OR,” Remus barked, all thoughts of couches and cheesy noodles pushed from his mind in the face of emergency.

The surgery had been relatively easy considering the commotion that had preceded it. The man, Potter, was lucky the stab wound had been a few centimeters too shallow to cause any significant damage and Remus had been able to repair it in decent time. He was definitely going to be late for mac and cheese night, though.

Checking that the charts were all accurate for Mr. Potter’s dosages and recovery instructions, Remus was practically swaying on his feet. He knew that he oftentimes pushed himself too far, straddling that line between a healthy work life and being a raging workaholic. But medicine was important to him, ensuring his patients were properly cared for was important to him. As he settled the charts back onto the end of the bed, the man in it finally seemed to be stirring out of the anesthesia. Remus waited patiently for him to open his eyes, which he eventually did but only just. It took Remus a moment to realize that the blurry, confused look on Mr. Potter’s face was less a result of the anesthesia and more because he seemed to be nearly blind without his glasses.

Remus quickly moved to his bedside, plucking the pair of square frames that had been left there and placing them on Mr. Potter’s face for him. Hazel eyes blinked a few more times, now aided by the lenses and seemed to finally take in his surroundings.

“Good morning, Mr. Potter. My name is Doctor Remus Lupin. Do you know where you are?”

Mr. Potter smiled, still a bit dopey. “‘Course I do, Doc. Been here enough times to know what a hospital room looks like.”

Remus furrowed his brow in concern. “Do you make a habit of encountering life threatening injuries, Mr. Potter?”

“Ew. Please stop. Call me James, or Prongs- that’s what my friends call me. And we should be friends seeing as how you’ve been all up in my insides and whatnot.”

“Alright,” Remus answered, stifling a chuckle. It was not proper bedside manner to laugh at highly medicated patients. “James, do you know what has led you to be in the hospital today?”

“Sure,” he said, his hand running through unbelievably messy hair. “Didn’t quite see eye to eye with a colleague.”

Remus couldn’t help the aghast look on his face now. “You were stabbed .”

“Oh, you know,” James said, brushing off the statement. “Just a simple misunderstanding.”

Remus folded his arms and looked down at James. “I also happened to notice that most of the blood you were soaked in likely wasn’t from just yourself.”

“What’s a bit of blood between friends, eh?”

Remus opened his mouth to try and make his point- honestly, who acted so casually about being stabbed in the stomach, when the door of the room snapped open.

“Potter!”

Remus nearly jumped out of his skin at the sharp tone, turning to see a startlingly attractive man standing in the doorway. Or, he would likely notice how attractive he was if Remus didn’t feel immediately like cowering under the harsh, authoritative glare the man gave off. He wasn’t particularly tall and could be described as almost waifish. His black hair was short with soft waves that were in stark contrast to his pale skin. He was also wearing  a barely there cropped shirt that said ‘Nepo Baby’ on it and jeans so low that the thin straps of his underwear were exposed and hitched up over his sharp hip bones.

Despite all that, Remus immediately understood that this man was not someone to be fucked with judging by his forbodding presence that felt as deadly as the stab wound he’d just fixed.

Seemingly still unaware of Remus’s presence, the man stalked into the room, his sight set on James. Remus almost felt like he should perhaps step in, based on the volatile atmosphere the newcomer brought. “What the fuck did you do now, you absolute jackass?!”

Surprisingly, James seemed to melt at the other man’s words, his dopey grin only lighting up further as he reached out with grabby hands like a toddler. “Baby! There you are! The only medicine I need!”

The man sighed deeply, his fingers moving to pinch at the bridge of his nose. “James Fleamont Potter, I swear to god-”

“Excuse me,” Remus said, clearing his throat a bit.

The man looked up at him, dark blue eyes outlined in exaggerated white eyeliner. “What are we looking at this time, doctor?”

Tucking his hands into his coat pockets, Remus looked between the two. “Sorry, are you family of the patient?”

The man rolled his eyes as James reached forward again, his movements still slightly wobbly, and grabbed the other’s hand. “Yes, I’m Regulus Black. James is my husband.”

“Ah, right, apologies. Well, Mr. Black, Mr. Potter here- sorry, James ,” he corrected at James’s squawk of protest. “ James sustained a wound to his lower right abdominal area. It was shallow enough that the instrument used didn’t perforate or puncture anything vital. We were able to go in and repair the damage. He’ll need to stay for a few nights for observation, but then he will be able to return home. He’ll need to limit most activity to avoid tearing the stitches- no heavy lifting, no exercise and no sexual activity for at least a couple weeks. You’ll also need to keep an-”

“An eye out for infection,” Regulus interrupted. “Yes, I know.”

In his sleep deprived state, Remus couldn’t help the curiosity that slipped through. “You both seem to be quite accustomed to trauma care and hospital visits.”

Regulus peered at him from the corner of his eye, his face giving nothing away. “Perhaps so. If you are new to Godric’s Hollow, I’m sure you will become fairly acquainted with a good portion of us in no time.”

“Baby, you should’ve seen me,” James babbled, pulling Regulus’ attention again. “I was all wa-bam-bam and then Wormtail was all ‘ ahhhhh ’ and then the cops-”

“Yes, yes, Jamie,” Regulus cut in quickly, eyes darting to Remus. “You can tell me all about it later, but now- sleep . Right, Doc?”

Remus shook himself out of his drowsy stupor, barely hearing anything the two men were saying to truly care one way or another. “Yes, plenty of rest, James. I will be back in the morning to check in on you. If you have any questions or need assistance, just let one of our nurses know.”

“You’re aces, doc,” James grumbled, apparently already halfway asleep, still clinging to his husband.

Regulus nodded to Remus as he took a seat on the bed, which Remus returned as he finished the last of his checks and the evening nurses came in to take over.

Around thirty minutes later, Remus finally forced himself to gather the last of his things and start for a hasty retreat out of the hospital. Molly Weasley was sitting at the main desk in the nurses station, her bright orange hair poofy and teased in a style straight from the 80s.

“Doctor Lupin,” she chirped. “Thought you would be gone by now!”

“Sh,” Remus said, holding a finger to his lips. “Please, I don’t want anyone else to know that I’m still here. I am on my way out now- my couch eagerly demands my return home.”

“Remus, you need yourself a woman to go home to, not an empty house and couch! Now, I’ve been talking you up with that cute new nurse in-”

Sighing heavily, Remus rubbed his eyes. “Molly, I’m sure she’s lovely but as I’ve said, I’m not in the market right now. I’m still trying to settle into a new town and job. That’s enough for now. Will you make sure to keep an eye on the patient in room 13? Page me if anything urgent arises?”

“Yes, I’m sure that patient will be giving us all sorts of trouble.”

Remus only replied with a raise of his brow in question as he picked up his stack of folders from the desk.

“That Hallow ,” she stage-whispered like the word was dirty.

“What the hell is a Hallow?”

“You have a lot to learn about this town, Doctor Lupin. The Potter boy, he’s part of that degenerate biker gang. Call themselves the Deathly Hallows. A bunch of violent criminals on death contraptions,” she finished with a haughty sniff.

“Motorcycle gang,” Remus repeated, bemused. “Godric’s Hollow doesn’t seem particularly rife with crime, it’s part of the reason I chose this town.”

“Yes, yes, the town likes to believe them to be some sort of vigilante bodyguards protecting us from a ‘greater’ evil. They keep all of their illicit behaviors outside of the town borders and keep the other criminal types from coming in and then they think they deserve some sort of medal for it.”

Remus refrained from rolling his eyes. “And we’re talking about James? James Potter? The one who just spent about fifteen minutes waxing poetic about the wide variety of oranges there are in the world? Only stopping so he could show each of the nurses how pretty his husband is?”

“Husband,” she huffed. “Don’t even get me started on that husband of his-“

“Nurse Weasley, will you please keep me up to date on any medical reports for Mr. Potter I may need to be informed of?”

Molly crossed her arms disapprovingly. “The nurses will page you for any emergencies. Have a good evening, Dr. Lupin.”

“Thank you,” he said, tapping the files against the desk and heading to the main doors.

Despite being far past dead on his feet, Remus jogged up the front path to his neighbors’ house eagerly. When he had first moved in, he had only been in Godric’s Hollow for a few hours before he had befriended the lovely older couple next door. The two women brought over enough food to feed him for a week. Minerva and Poppy had heard they would be living next door to the new town surgeon and bachelor, only to be surprised when Remus had answered the front door with a bubbly, enthusiastic four year old at his heels.

The two women had taken to Teddy instantly, just as most people who encountered his little boy did. He was every bit of good in Remus’s world and he brought a little bit of that light to everyone he met. Since meeting the pair, they had been Remus’s lifesavers when it came to offering to watch Teddy during his long and sometimes last minute shifts at the hospital. Not having to send Teddy to a daycare had been a massive relief to Remus, who’s overprotective anxieties preferred to keep his son’s existence quiet in the new town.

He knocked twice on the door before letting himself in, Poppy always admonishing him for not treating the home as an extension of his own. The little cottage style house was warm and bright, filled with plants and books and the smell of something savory in the air. Hearing chatter coming from the kitchen, Remus made his way through the living room to where Teddy was standing on one of the dining room chairs, his curly hair dusted with flour.

“Daddy!” The little boy flung himself off the chair, nearly tumbling to the ground in his haste to get to Remus.

Holding out his arms wide, Remus crouched down to catch him and squeeze him tightly. “Ooh, I missed you, Teddy Bear.”

“We learned about pasta today, Daddy! I made rabbit-oly.”

“ Ravioli , Edward, ravioli,” Poppy said with a smile. She held out a reheatable tin that was likely brimming with whatever delicious dinner she had prepared. Yet another life saver for Remus, who for the last several years had been sustaining himself and his son on takeaways. “He was a darling all day, as always.”

Standing back up with Teddy perched on his hip, Remus accepted the dish sheepishly. “Thank you for keeping him longer, Poppy. Truly. An emergency came in-”

“Ah,” she waved off. “It was no trouble at all. Our nest could always use a bit of this little sunshine.”

“Minerva still at the school?”

“Yes, I don’t think she’s relinquishing her reins on the queer alliance club quite as well as she had thought.”

Remus chuckled. “You know, most people are excited to retire.”

”Alas, she’s never been most people. No matter how much she grumbles and huffs about those kids, she loves them dearly. She��s having a hard time letting them go. But if that isn’t what I just love about her.”

“She’s a formidable woman, that’s for certain,” Remus said. Teddy began to wiggle a bit in his arms, clearly growing impatient with the adult conversation. “Alright, Teddy, are you ready to go home?”

”Can we watch Narnia?”

”Sure we can, buddy, but first I think my little flour monster could use a bath, huh,” he said, nuzzling his nose into Teddy’s messy hair, making the boy giggle. “Say bye-bye to Poppy.”

Teddy reached out his arms towards the woman, who hugged him back with a quick kiss to his temple. “You be good for your daddy, Edward. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Bye, Miss Poppy!”

”Thanks again and tell Minerva I said hello,” Remus said with another smile to the woman. “We’ll see you in the morning.”

Read on ao3

#wolfstar #fanfic #Marauders #jegulus #biker gang #new fic

[ttte-tugscrowskullausmainblog]

Ye.

Big Mac and Warrior are adopted brothers, but not entirely sure how I'd make Sunshine a blood relative of Big Mac due to their ethnicity difference.

Probably that Big Mac's family moved to England when he was a young teenager, so he has his accent, Sunshine was either born in England or was still a baby when they moved so he adopted the regional accent when he grew up rather than his family's accent, and Warrior was adopted into the family at some point.

If any of you don't know, trans people, especially trans men, tend to gravitate towards each other, a good example being that I am a trans guy and most of my male friends are trans, and it's not like I hand picked them, it just happened.

And that is how I justify having five of the eight members of the Star Marine trans men, and I do not regret it. :))

Still gotta figure out the Z-Stacks and... All of the other characters. But it'll be worth it.

Maybe.

Anyways, peace. ✌️✨

#crow talks #tugs au #tugs human au #star fleet #hecc yeah

[joe-the-english-otter]

Cerebus The Aardvark: Issues #1-#100. My thoughts so far (Repost)

I'm gonna be reposting my thoughts on Cerebus The Aardvark onto Tumblr, mainly so it's easier to read and is much more accessible this way. This will be a three part saga, the next two parts will be posted over the next few days. I will also be putting caution warnings for specific things at some points in these posts, so if you see one that warns of content that might upset you, please do turn away.

(Originally posted to FA on January 9th 2023)

So, in late December, I discovered a now relatively obscure graphic novel series called; Cerebus The Aardvark. In a general sense, the series is about the life and times of an aardvark barbarian as he slowly climbs the ladder of power while everything collapses around him, sometimes very literally.

The series started in 1977 as a Conan The Barbarian parody and was an independently made and published series, made by a grand total of two-to-three people throughout it's near 26 year run, with the series ending on it's 300th issue. So you'd think a really long running and at times, very critically acclaimed, independent comic series would be talked more or at least be mildly well known, well I'll get to why it isn't later. First I'll give my thoughts on each major chapter/story arc of the series thus far:

Issues #1-#25: Fairly decent stuff, remains a parody of Conan for a good chunk of the first couple issues, along with parodies of other comic or fantasy characters of the time, such as; Elrod of Melvinbone, who is a light parody of Elric of Melnibone. Artemis Roach, A.K.A The Roach, who is used as a parody of whichever male DC/Marvel superhero is popular at the time.

Also introduced is Lord Julius, who is 100% written and drawn as Groucho Marx, though the character is portrayed as a comedic character, with a mind like a steeltrap and a skilled political master mind, which comes into play in the second story arc and throughout the rest of the story. This also introduces the trend of having parodies of various celebrities occasionally showing up and playing minor roles within the story as a whole. There are other characters that're introduced throughout the first arc, but most of them aren't hugely important to the story just yet, so I'll get to them when need be.

But yeah, it continues on it's parody path for quite a while as Cerebus goes from one-shot adventure to the next and we start to get an understanding of his character. He's not just your basic barbarian character-type, he is a full blown "Glorious-Bastard" type character (A Glorious Bastard, is basically a main character who has no redeeming qualities, at all, but you end up supporting them, because of them being surrounded by idiots, being stuck in a situation they can't escape from or you're awaiting to see their downfall. E.G. Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder) and as the series goes on, you slowly see how he gets corrupted almost completely by the want and need for gold.

Eventually the one-shot stories are phased out for an actual story that lays the ground work for the rest of the series, lots of world building and the start of character development.

Issues #26-#55: Honestly, some of the best stuff I've read. The writing and art style improve dramatically. This is where it turns from a straight forward parody, into a well crafted political drama and satire. It still has plenty of parody in it, but it definitely makes a shift towards the serious and it pays off, it's hear where we see the more "human" side of Cerebus, showing that he has complex emotions and is shown off when he finally find his love interest Jaka (Who was introduced towards the middle of the first arc) and the many people who're trying to take advantage of him as he becomes Prime Minister and trys to hold onto it when everything goes tits up.

This is where minor characters who were introduced early in the series get more fleshed out and given proper character arcs. Namely; Bran Mac Mufin, who was a throw away, off-screen warlord character, who turns out to be a civilized person and becomes a mysterious ally of Cerebus, talking about things to come in the most vague ways possible.

Another character that plays an important role in this arc, is Astoria, who basically tries to use Cerebus as a political puppet, but is unable to control him as she tries to use him for her own ends and to get back at Lord Julius (Who happenes to be her ex-husband). It should also be worth mentioning that Elrod and Roach occasionally show up throughout the series as comic relief, though they do both each play a somewhat important role in this arc as well.

Lots of tense moments, character drama and angry aardvark moments, highly recommended.

Issues #56-#100: This is where things take a darker tone for the series. The art style is still really fantastic and it continues to just get better. The writing can be very up and down in parts, it mainly starts to go down the closer it reaches issue #100. The character drama is still there, though it moves more into the religious area as Cerebus becomes Pope and abuses that power to it's most extreme lengths.

This is also where the character Adam Weisshaupt (who was introduced way early on and becomes Cerebus's political rival) becomes the series antagonist for the next couple issues, as he tries to control Cerebus as Prime Minister, but fails as Cerebus is made pope suddenly scrapping his plans and basically making Cerebus the most politically powerful person.

Obviously, this sudden rise in power makes Cerebus even more corrupt and his character is on the tight line between Glorious-Bastard and straight up villain throughout this arc and one particular moment really pushes it, though I'll mention that point shortly.

There's still a few more issues in this specific arc, so I haven't finished it just yet, but my thoughts thus far are; It's alright, there's some good moments, some bad moments and one really uncomfortable moment.

(Caution Warning: Character Sexual Assult Mention)

Right, now I'm going to talk about the thing most people will skip straight to; The controversy about the comics creator, Dave Sim. He is without question, an extreme sexist. For context (For what little I can give): The series started of as a Conan parody, so there was going to be the smallest amount of sexism in it, however the sexism really starts to ramp up as the series goes on and it really rears it's ugly head towards issue #100, when Cerebus basically rapes Astoria, after she threw her panties at him, implying that she was asking for it (Fucking ew).

Not only that, but the general treatment of female characters starts to get worse and worse, like, Astoria was initially written as a complex political chess master, whose trying to lead a political movemnt but over the course of a few issues, she becomes a generic feminist strawman, written from the perspective of someone who holds feminists in low regard.

Any other female characters who had any ounce of interesting developement, are watered down or are sidelined. The only female character that has some level of depth is Jaka and she's rarely seen throughout the series thus far.

Some of you are probably thinking at this point. Well that's bad sure, but that doesn't mean he's sexist. I'd like to refer you to two well written articles on Dave Sim: https://comicsalliance.com/tribute-dave-sim/

https://literatemachine.com/2020/08/28/cerebus-misogyny-and-madness/ There are spoilers in those articles for those that are still interested in reading Cerebus. I was warned beforehand about his sexism and how the last 100 or so issues of the complete 300 issue series, basically devolves into Dave Sim ranting about feminism and anything else that he doesn't agree with, framing it in the context of Cerebus The Aardvark.

I will continue reading the series as I'm already in too deep and I need to see how deep the rabbit hole goes. I will post the next update when I've finished issue #200.

Thank you for reading. If I'm factually wrong or have said something you disagree with, do let me know via a comment or DM me on either here or Twitter. Cheers.

#cerebus the aardvark #dave sim #comics #80s comics #cerebus #aardvark #opinion #critique #comic review #review

[tomiokaslover]

• Profile Page •

Jihye Amari

“Love is like the wind. You can’t see it, but you can feel it.” -Jihye Amari

Name: Jihye Amari

Age: 16

Birthday: February 14, 1899

Sign: Aquarius

Gender: Female

Pronouns: She/Her

Race: Human

Nationality: Asian & Colombian

Hair Color: Burgundy Red

Eye Color: Honey Brown

Height: 5,2

Weight: 152 kg

Sexuality: Straight

Personality: Loyal, flirty, secretive, caring, selfless, easily jealous

Mental Illnesses: Anxiety, PTSD, atychiphobia, ligyrophobia

Hobbies: Painting, reading, training, dancing

Animal Companion: Male black cat

Status: Member of the Demon Slayer Corps

Breathing Style: Love Breathing

Teacher: Mitsuri Kanroji

Favorite Food: Sukiyaki, Taiyaki, Onigiri

Favorite Color: Fuchsia

Favorite Flower: Baby’s Breath

Place of Birth: Nagasaki Prefecture

Birthday Stone: Opal & Sugilite

Childhood Home: Unknown

Other Names: Hana | Blossom | Nōtarin | Dumbass | Barentain | Valentine |

Relatives: Unknown

Close Relationships: Blue, Mitsuri Kanroji, Kyojuro Rengoku, Tanjiro Kamado, Nezuko Kamado, Zenitsu Agatsuma, Inosuke Hashibira, Shinobu Kocho, Aoi Kanzaki

Lover/Love interest: Yet to be Determined

Enemies: Muzan Kibutsuji

Family Tree: Unknown

Speed: 66%

Strength: 79%

Wisdom: 86%

Stamina: 53%

Flexibility: 68%

Eye Sight: 85%

Smell: 54%

Hearing: 52%

Over All: 92%

Theme Songs:

Valentine - Laufey

Nothing - Bruno Major

Smile - Lily Allen

Space Song - Beach House

No Other Heart - Mac Demarco

Fooling - Frankie Cosmos

Until I Found You - Stephen Sanchez

I’ll Wait For You - Sarah Darling

Strange - Celeste

Lover - Taylor Swift

Fly Love - Jaime Foxx

Say It Right - Nelly Furtado

Side note: This character belongs to my sister from another mister. We had so much fun working on Jihye and we hope that you all find an interest her and are eager to meet her in my fan-fiction!

With love,

Emily Nakagawa

#Spotify #demon slayer #oc #mitsuri kanroji #kimetsu no yaiba #tanjiro kamado #zenitsu agatsuma #nezuko kamado #inosuke hashibira #kyojuro rengoku

[tonopahfallshq]

Name: Oisin ‘Mac’ MacNally Age: 37 Occupation: Co-Owner of StopShop Time living in Tonopah: 23 years Neighborhood: Downtown Gang Affiliation: Treasurer for the Sons of Silence Face Claim: Charlie Cox

Biography:

Church, school, and family — that had been his father’s mantra for as long as Oisin ‘Mac’ MacNally could remember. Life had started out relatively normal for the young man, born in Dublin to parents who seemingly wanting nothing more than to one day raise a beautiful family, and it stayed that way even when Jack and Colleen MacNally made the sudden decision to relocate to Tonopah shortly before his fourteenth birthday.

The move to America wasn’t without its adjustments, but the MacNally’s quickly found their way with the opening of StopShop, and before long they found great success. It seemed odd that a little mom and pop store would afford them such wealth, but Mac and his sister were taught that adults knew best and not to question authority. When Mac turned sixteen, Jack gave him a glass of whiskey, and revealed a very dark truth. The business opportunities they had moved to America for, the store, the money – all of it had to do with Jack’s involvement in the Sons of Silence. StopShop had merely been a product of the Sons of Silence’s money-laundering practices, the seemingly niche and authentic Irish market actually just a selling point to attract customers and filter the crew’s cash through without a trace.

It was if he’d been reborn, a new purpose in his life arriving at such a tender and impressionable young age. Not much had really changed — church, school, and family were still important, but family took on a much broader meaning. Mac began to work behind the counter with his mother as she taught him how to not only work in the shop, but more importantly how to ‘fix’ numbers. His personality became much more antagonizing and deceitful — sure, the old Mac was still there and had his moments of being the good-natured male that he was raised to be, but they became far fewer and in between. Especially when Mac turned twenty two, and his father suddenly died from a heart attack in his sleep

In the years since, Mac has tried his best to do what would have made his father proud. He’s become a very loyal and well respected member of SoS. Though primarily a numbers wiz, Mac is no stranger to doing dirty work, becoming violent or aggressive whenever he or the club deem necessary for a ‘transaction gone wrong’ or a ‘complication’, which is why one could probably find him at the gym every single morning. Now a co-owner of StopShop along with his younger sister, Mac is doing his best to keep the business afloat and to continue to be a loyal member of the Sons of Silence. Having become much more callous and guarded over the last decade or so, people either love Mac or hate his fucking guts — which is really no surprise considering his short temper and holier-than-thou attitude. Still, though, no matter what Mac does to hurt someone, he can still cleanse himself by going to confession — but what happens when that doesn’t become enough anymore?

Headcannons:

Mac is very Catholic, and going to church is a huge part of his weekly routine. Part of how he deals with the guilt that comes with his MC involvement (and the other shit things he does) is going to confession.

He's a huge mama's boy. Will protect his mother with his whole life.

Got a light irish accent, but a lot of it dissipated in the years after he moved to the US

As far as dating goes, Mac is...very bad at it. He'll be the perfect boyfriend at first but as soon as things get too comfortable, he'll prioritize his work with the SoS before his relationship, causing messy breakups.

He's definitely a huuuuge example of how religion and toxic masculinity can fuck a guy up. But he's fun at parties!

#mac macnally. #sons of silence. #male. #tfhq.characters

[apocalypticavolition]

The USA Trilogy

So I've been reading John dos Passos's USA Trilogy and despite being only 500 pages away from finishing I'm thinking I might not be able to. It's a highly recommended trilogy - some peope say that it's the Great American Novel - but my god.

The novel has four different sorts of sections: biographies of various American figures, collages of newspaper headlines and articles, an apparently autobiographical section with a horrible postmodern aversion to capital letters and punctuation marks, and the actual story, which follows about a dozen people over the course of the early decades of the twentieth century.

First, the pros: the newspaper collages work quite well, giving a taste of events in the world at large as the narrative advances. The biographies are sometimes quite interesting when focusing on lesser known figures or, the absolute masterpiece of the trliogy, "The Body of an American Soldier", which is something of a multiple choice past for the man interred in the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. It's incredibly written and a genuinely touching critique of the senselessness of war.

Further, there's a few interesting main characters. Mac, the first one introduced, is about as sympathetic as a drifter can be with the values dissonance of a century between us and has a storyline that has a relatively traditional arc of rising action, climax, and falling action. Eveline getting re-examined by the transition from Eleanor's friend to POV character of her own works very well, to the point where I will miss not getting to see her from a third POV in the next novel since I'm cutting it short.

That said, the flaws are a lot. The "Camera Eye", the autobigraphical stuff, is completely unreadable because skipping half of the necessary steps of English writing leaves an incoherent, unpleasant mess. E. E. Cummings (yes, capitals included) and all who humor him are a blight on the English language.

The other biographies are hit or miss because so many of them barely seem to have anything to do with the narration. Eugene Debs works because every character is a socialist (more on that in a mo'). Thomas Edison has nothing to do with anything except in the sense that many scenes in the novel have lightbulbs present.

Then sadly there's the main narration. The work is very existentialist, stuff just happening for the sake of happening, and while that's not necessarily a problem, it turns out I can't really take the better part of 2,000 pages of it even spread out among 12 assholes.

And they're basically all assholes. Some only barely - Daughter seems to be capricious mostly in that "male writer feels women are incomprehensible" sort of way - some entirely so. Frankly, with all the talk of socialism and revolution and pacifism that comes out of their mouths while they drink, party, and look for ways to screw everyone over makes me long for THEM to be lined up against the wall. And of course they're all sellouts to boot, which again isn't exactly a problem it's just that it leaves me with even less reason to stick around. I know how this ends: the ones who get rich like Moorehouse abandon all pretense of caring for their fellow human beings and the ones who stay poor look for any excuse to avoid taking responsibility for their behavior.

If the books had some broader point than the upcoming failure of the socialist movement in the US, I might be able to stick it out. If I could get more than a chapter without seeing a racial slur, I could stick it out. If the dialogue wasn't written with every accent spelled out, I could stick it out. But honestly I think that getting to "Body of an American Soldier" is victory enough and I'm done. It's a shame, but I've spent the last two nights avoiding reading because I absolutely did not want to open "The Big Money", and since I'm just getting back into the habit again I need to move on.

#the usa trilogy #john dos passos #literature #american literature #great american novel #socialism #world war i

[madsenmcgee59]

Quite a few people today these days aspiration of acquiring their very own laptop, but do not understand it can very easily grow to be a fact with the ideal information. The ideas below are a training course in obtaining a desktop computer system you can afford to pay for. If you make use of all the suggestions uncovered right here, you are going to be computing in no time.

Making your individual laptop or computer can conserve a large amount of money, while at the same time manufacturing a technique that is twice as powerful as you would get if you acquired it from a maker. Creating your have computer system will save time, money, and cuts out the middle male. Start out creating your personal today! Purchase a laptop that matches all of the capabilities you wish. Some men and women purchase an expensive desktop that has attributes they only will not use. To help save oneself some funds, be selective about factors and features. You ought to clear out the dust on a weekly basis to guarantee your pc is as economical as probable. Merely unscrew and take out the scenario, and spray away the dust with a can of compressed air. This will keep the computer system clear, and let the admirer to do its work. Appear at engineering sites for laptop opinions to get a excellent concept on what you ought to invest in. This will give you a much far better idea of what pc fits your demands. If you approach on storing a good deal of new music or videos, make guaranteed you get a difficult travel that will deal with your requires. In typical, the extra difficult push area that you can get, the far better off you are. That is, except if you only write e-mail and surf the world-wide-web on your desktop. You require the space specifically if you shoot video. If you want to purchase a Mac but you also want to run Computer system programs, believe about receiving Parallels for Mac. This will let you run a virtual Laptop on your Mac. That suggests any Computer software you have can be operate on your Mac. Bear in mind to purchase the correct working system for the pc. If you have a household office environment or a tiny company, a laptop computer computer most likely will not meet all your needs. While a moveable computer system is terrific when you are out and about, a desktop product is improved if you will need a printer, copier, fax and scanner. Also, lots of people discover typing on a standard keyboard is simpler than working on a laptop. If you need to have a more potent laptop or computer, search in locations detailed as "gaming" or "amusement" desktops. These will have much more RAM and quicker processors which can deal with these responsibilities. If you purchase a computer system stated as an "everyday" machine, you can uncover that it just won't are living up to your requires. The computer system globe has changed a large amount, and desktops that are prepared-built are now more cost-effective than a whole lot of laptops. Desktop computer systems are accessible for $four hundred from a personal computer retailer. Consider to get a guarantee and make confident the retailer is trustworthy. If Corsair vengeance 8gb 3200Mhz price in India are anxious about likely inexperienced, contemplate a mini Personal computer. This style of personal computer minimizes the amount of energy made use of. If you just verify electronic mail, surf the Website, and use a term processor, this could be all you require. To make positive that you order a desktop laptop that will past, verify out opinions on line ahead of you invest in. There are several dependable sites that provide both equally experienced and customer testimonials of the most preferred desktops. These opinions will give you an notion of which desktops are trustworthy and trouble free of charge. If you are aiming for longevity out of your desktop purchase, you should not settle for the least specs offered. Those people specs may perhaps be high-quality now, but in a year, you may possibly be in for an uncomfortable shock. Your computer system can turn into obsolete relatively promptly if you usually are not cautious. If revenue is a worry, even a smaller bump to your memory can be a major assist. Whether or not you want a desktop to attain out to family members overseas or to begin a new occupation, you will need to acquire the greatest for your buck. That signifies utilizing each idea below 1 by 1 to be certain your acquire is a fantastic 1. In the finish, the outcome will be the computer of your desires.

#Corsair vengeance 8gb 3200Mhz price in India

[impostoradult]

I finally figured out why it feels like Supernatural murdered a unicorn (AKA why you need to STOP telling me to watch Black Sails)

I’ll start by saying, everything everyone else has been saying CERTAINLY bothers me: 

- the queer-baiting - the bury your queers - the undermining of Dean’s character arc  - the wasted opportunity for a certain kind of overall narrative closure - the flat out disrespect to Misha Collins and Jensen Ackles

 All of that bothers me tremendously. 

But there has been something else rather ineffable about this that has left a horrible taste in my mouth that I couldn’t quite pin down until last night. Bear with me, if you will, because this will require some set-up. 

*** This is not the first show to ever disappoint me in a spectacular fashion, nor will it be the last, I suspect. And one of the ways I’ve always coped with that disappointment was to remind myself that there will be other stories, other characters, other chances to get it right. (”It” being any number of things from just pure narrative emotional coherence to not burying your queers to not stringing along your queer audience and then yelling fuck you to them on the way out) 

But somehow that assurance -- that there will be other stories, other characters, other chances to get it right -- has rung particularly hollow in this instance, and I couldn’t quite put my finger on why until yesterday. 

I kept asking myself, why do I still have this feeling, deep in the pit of my stomach, like something was lost here that can never be recovered? 

Because something was lost here that I am doubtful can ever be recovered, and I don’t think I’ve seen anyone else talking about this aspect of it at all. 

***

A few months ago, TV critic Maureen Ryan did a great interview piece with Mike Schur (of Parks & Rec/The Good Place) discussing the death of long-form TV in the streaming era. They explore how the longer seasons and longer runs of traditional broadcast/cable TV provided an opportunity to tell particular kinds of stories that you simply can’t when seasons are 8-10 episodes and series typically run 2-4 seasons (thanks Netflix).

One key thing we’ve all lost in this new era of highly condensed TV storytelling (and of prestige TV narrative styles)? The traditional (several season’s long) slow-burn/will-they-won’t-they romance. Not only is there simply no longer the time or space to write such romances, it has also come to be seen as hacky, manipulative, cheap, artistically impoverished, low-brow, a embarrassing vestige of the era before TV became art™. 

Everybody is trying to be Fleabag now. No one wants to be Frasier. (”It’s really more like a 10 hour movie” they all like to brag)

Obviously TV still has romances, even ‘drawn out’ romances. But ‘drawn out’ in 2020 is like 2-3 seasons, maybe. More commonly it’s like half a season. Take Schitt’s Creek. The number of episodes between when David and Patrick first meet and when they first kiss? Seven. Seven episodes. Half a season. If you watched it live, it took less than 2 months for them to move from introducing that dynamic to consummating it. And I’m not bagging on Schitt’s Creek; I think the David/Patrick’s story is very lovely and well-written. 

But Niles & Daphne (Fraiser) had to wait 7 years and over 150 episodes before they finally got there. Josh & Donna (The West Wing) had to wait 6+ years, and 145 episodes. Mulder & Scully (The X-Files) had to wait 7 seasons and 143 episodes. Booth & Bones had to wait...you see where I am going with this. 

And my point is (and I can’t believe I never realized this explicitly until now): there has NEVER been a queer slow-burn/will-they-won’t-they romance of that type on TV ever. EVER. 

I’m going to say that again, because I think it bares repeating:

There has never been a queer, slow-burn/will-they-won’t-they romance that fits the 100-150 episode paradigm of delayed gratification on TV. 

Not ever.  

I can’t think of ONE example  Not a single, solitary one. And I know queer TV pretty well. Arguably the closest we’ve ever come is Legend of Korra, and that ran 50 episodes, a THIRD of the length of old school will-they-won’t-theys like Booth & Bones or Josh & Donna. 

Queer people have had a fair number of canonical romances on TV by now, even fairly long running ones. But we never got a primary/front-and-center romance that you had to root for for 100+ episodes before you got any kind of canonical consummation.

That is a particular kind of TV experience that queer people and queer characters were just 100% shut out of until it was too late. And because of how the TV landscape has changed in the last 10 years, I don’t know that that opportunity will ever come back around in our lifetimes. 

***

Dean and Castiel are/were a legacy of an earlier era of TV, an era that still contained the possibility for a will-they-won’t-they of that particular mold. There were other shows that could have also filled this gap at one time - Rizzoli & Isles, OUAT, House MD, etc. But one by one all of them were killed off, their queer romances unrequited, until Supernatural was the only one of its’ generation left standing. 

And they should have acknowledged that they were a species about to become extinct. 

There are plenty of other valid and compelling reasons Supernatural should have gone full Destiel, don’t get me wrong.

A) It would have been the most emotionally satisfying ending to the series and to those characters (and that would have been reason enough). 

B) It would have stopped the manipulative queer-baiting of the (disproportionately queer) fanbase (and that would have been reason enough). 

C) It would have been queer representation of middle-aged men, of bi men, of queers who came to their queerness later in life (and any/all of those would have been reason enough). 

D) It could have been a glorious subversion of the bury your queers trope, considering how often they’ve died and been resurrected (and that would have been reason enough). 

But point E) on this list is the reason this one hurts in a singular way that no one even appears to be acknowledging. 

Almost all of the other wrongs and missed opportunities contained in this Supernatural debacle have the possibility of being rectified (at least to a degree) elsewhere. I can and I likely will get more bi male characters from TV as time goes on. I can and likely will get more middle-aged queer characters. I can and likely will get more queer characters coming to their queerness later in life, and starting queer romances later in life. I can and likely will get more queer characters who aren’t killed cheaply and prematurely. I can and likely will get more genre TV shows with sprawling myth arc plots that are resolved in a coherent, satisfying way. I can and likely will get Misha Collins and Jensen Ackles involved in other projects that value their work and their talents. 

All of those other things are at the very least POSSIBLE, and many are even likely. 

But a queer 100-150 episode slow-burn romance a la Mulder & Scully or Niles & Daphne or Booth & Bones? That is the one baton Supernatural dropped spectacularly that no one else even has the possibility of picking up again for the foreseeable future. (They don’t even write those types of romances for heterosexuals anymore!) 

Seriously. It was a TV unicorn. And rather than letting it run wild and free, they stabbed it with a rusty nail. 

***

Given the monumental shifts in the TV landscape that have occurred in the last decade, I don’t know that TV will ever go back to the slow-burn/will-they-won’t-they romance spanning 100-150 episodes. Today it is a miracle if you can get ANY show to last longer than 50 episodes in the first place. 

And that is the piece of this that makes it feel (to me) like they murdered a unicorn.  

Because queer people have gotten a lot of things from TV, and they will get a lot more as time goes on. But that one? That one could very well be a totally extinct species.

That is the larger missed opportunity here that has left this feeling especially hollow and destructive. That is the thing that makes me balk when people tell me to go watch Black Sails or Pose or whatever other prestige TV show is doing this representation ‘better.’ Because that’s not really the loss I am mourning here. I KNOW there is ‘better’ representation elsewhere.  

But the will-they-won’t-they/slow-burn romance is a qualitatively unique thing that queer people literally just never got. Ever. There is no substitute, no alternate, no other show I can turn to with that kind of build-up and pay-off for a queer couple, and there probably won’t be in my lifetime. Not unless the TV industry undergoes another monumental evolution similar to the streaming revolution that shifts the incentives back to telling those types of stories again. 

All those shows you want me to displace Supernatural with? None of them can give me the one thing I uniquely wanted (and could have gotten) from Supernatural. THAT ALTERNATE SHOW DOESN’T EXIST. It doesn’t exist. And I have no reason to hope it will ever exist in my lifetime. 

So stop telling me to look somewhere else; you don’t understand what made this one a unicorn. 

***

Addendum: The only other possible show that could perhaps fill this gap is It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (re: Mac/Dennis). But I’m hesitant to say it exactly meets that criteria, for a number of reasons:

1 - It’s far less serialized relative to Supernatural and (except for a handful of stand-alone episodes) very little of the story is grounded specifically in Dennis/Mac’s romantic dynamic (unlike SPN, where it is absolutely central to much of the narrative)

2 - IASIP is fundamentally satirically in nature/tone which makes it much harder to have genuine romantic pathos (not impossible, but harder) 

3 - All the characters on IASIP are fundamentally crummy people who you aren’t exactly supposed to root for. Which doesn’t mean a romance between two of them can’t have its value/charm/worth but it’s not the same as when it is between characters who unequivocally deserve nice things/happy endings

#Supernatural #Destiel #queer representation #sorry this is long

[peralta-guaranteed]

@peraltiago-headcanons asked me:

 is Jake more or less scared when he finds out Maya will be a girl? Than when they had Mac

-*-

He’s scared in a very different way. That’s pretty much the only answer he can give, whenever people go “Oooh, a girl!” to his baby news, and wondering if he’s worried about the change, after taking care of a little boy so far.

With Mac, he was just... scared of it all, basically. Of the idea of being a dad and messing that up, of having a kid and not knowing what to do. Scared of something going wrong, of Mac getting sick and him unable to help, or any of the other horrible scenarios his brain loved cooking up at night while Amy was snoring with a big belly next to him. There was just so much to worry about with having a child for the first time, especially for someone as inexperienced as him, who had to be carefully instructed how to hold a newborn before even seeing his own little niece, because Gina and Amy realised he’d never really held a baby before.

With Maya, currently deep asleep in her little travel cot next to the couch after a pretty exciting day of going to the park for the first time with Daddy and Big Mac, he’s not scared of all those first worries quite so much - because having his little buddy has shown him things can turn out okay, even if there’s stuff out of his control. But now, he realises while Mac is trying to climb up into Maya’s cot with her before he can pick him up and shush him to let his little sister sleep, he gets new things to be scared about instead.

Because there’s so much that will be different for Maya than it was for Mac, and than it was for Jake himself, even. He’s acutely aware of the roadblocks his little girl will have in her life, and that he can’t do as much about it as he’d probably like to. He’s not kept up the feminist documentary watching with Amy for nothing, but each one just made him more angry and frustrated.

Sure, he can be a better man and male role model himself, and he can continue to challenge other dads if they start with the same old macho bullshit he’s been hearing so much even with just Mac around, but he can’t magically turn the world into a female-friendly place the way he wants it to be for her. The way it should be for her, and for every other girl growing up in it, and every other woman already grown into it.

And it’s scary. It’s worrying. It’s something he feels pretty helpless against, and Amy could only agree from experience when he voiced those concerns, huddled up on the couch together with his hand on her constantly squirming and kicking belly as they watched yet another show about inequality.

They’ve seen it happen the moment they found out bébé 2 was a girl - how people’s way of talking about her changed, turned towards “oh she’s gonna be a beauty” or “their little princess on the way” in a way that made the hair on his neck stand up sometimes. How the gifts from distant relatives suddenly turned from useful toys and animal-print clothes to pink accessories and frilly little dresses.

One of his aunts sent them a baby bikini.

A baby bikini.

That’s pretty much the weirdest, and most disgusting piece of clothing Jake has ever seen, and he’s had to tag evidence from some sort of BDSM dungeon once.

And all that happened before she was even born, before she was here to experience it, snuffling in her little cot covered in crocodile and zebra print, Mac’s hand-me-down baby onesie in fuzzy green with red apples a size too big on her.

Jake’s worried. He knows he can’t shield her from all of it. He knows there’s going to be moments where she’ll come to him, asking about the harsh truths of the world, and all he’ll be able to do is explain it and share her misery. There’s probably going to be moments where she won’t come to him, at all, and he hopes that she’ll at least turn to her mom, or Rosa, or Gina-

That’s one thing he won’t have to worry about, at least - a lack of strong women in her life, good women, true role models she can look up to and aspire to be like.

He’s vowed to be a better role model himself, the kind of man he wishes for everyone to be, the kind of man his son is hopefully growing up to be. The kind of man Maya deserves in her life. And Amy, and Rosa, and Gina.

He’s promised himself that he won’t let anything hold Maya back, not if he can help it. She’ll be running around in just as much dirt and chaos as her big brother, spend just as much time with weird science experiments and discoveries, be just as much of a carefree, joyful kid as him.

But that’s just the little picture. The next few years. The small moments of their life.

The big picture is scary. The coming decades will be a test of society’s changes. The big moments in her life will still be influenced by the whole, damned difference of a woman in a man’s world.

And so Jake is scared. Rightfully so.

But he’s not going to let that change his joy at Maya’s squeaks as she wakes up, shuffles her tiny legs in her big onesie around and demands with her very well-working lungs to be picked up immediately. He’s not going to let those fears dull the time he spends with her, change the way he speaks to her.

Those are his fears to deal with. She doesn’t need to shoulder them, just as little as Mac did when Jake was working through them with him. Because the one thing neither of them will ever have to worry about is that their dad will always, and forever, be their rock, fighting on their side as much as they need him to.

#b99 #brooklyn 99 #jake peralta #amy santiago #peraltiago #headcanons #mac peralta #maya peralta

[ultrahpfan5blog]

Thoughts on B99 season 8 and the finale....

So I must admit, I have been putting off watching the finale as part of being in denial that the show has ended and there are no more new episodes to come. And just like Terry, I was not in denial of being in denial. But I finally pulled the trigger and watched the final two episodes and I do have a lot of thoughts about it and the final season.

Firstly, about season 8 has a whole. I will begrudgingly admit that this might be the weakest season of the show, and a large part of it being due to circumstances surrounding the show. Now weakest does not mean it was a bad season. Weakest seasons of B99 is better than 99% of other shows, pun intended, but I think this season struggled a little dealing with the seriousness of the policing storyline but still trying to find humor, combined with the short episode order, and trying to find appropriate endings for the characters. Its a valiant effort and the season is still enjoyable but I don't think it was completely successful at juggling everything.

The fundamental problem with the policing storyline that it is inherently serious and that clashes with the tone of the show. There was a sense of tonal whiplash throughout the season as a result. It was a bit of a problem when a show as progressive as B99 but also a show that is inherently about good cops trying to do good in their community has to try and appeal to a fanbase that considers policing fundamentally as corrupt. Its a tough line to ride and while the show does try, I can't say it completely worked for me. The premiere was arguably the most uncomfortable episode to watch because of the subject matter and the show was very brave to do that and also later in the season when the show put its lead character as Jake as the person in the wrong in a policing matter. But because of the severity of what is happening in these episodes, its tough to find them very funny even though there are hilarious moments in these episodes. Holt getting huffy was great. But in the end, these aren't episodes that I necessarily feel like revisiting. Also, because the issue of policing is big, it had to be done over the course of the season. Which meant 4 out of 10 episodes were relatively serious. I think Blue Flu is the best episode of the bunch in the storyline as it managed to give us a heartfelt storyline with Jake and Boyle as well as do a good job giving Holt a showcase against McGinley's O'Sullivan, who was an excellent antagonist. I felt the resolution of the storyline was a little too pat and convenient. I know they mentioned that O'Sullivan was re-elected for life but they also made it seem like their proposal could change the NYPD which seems like a very tv thing. I also admittedly rolled my eyes that Amy got promoted from Sergeant of Uniformed officers to being a Chief. No way do I buy that type of promotion. That's like a 5 rank promotion I believe. And if its possible, it kind of felt like uncomfortable favoritism on Holt's part.

The best episodes of the season were the episodes in between the policing storyline, because they were lighthearted and fun and played to the strength of the show. However, the airing schedule also kind of worked against it. The tonal whiplash was very evident because we would get one fairly serious episode coupled with one lighthearted episode back to back and it did feel weird while watching it. I feel like if this was like a 15 episode season and the policing storyline was a bit more spaced out, it wouldn't have felt so weird tonally. I loved Balancing, because of the realistic portrayal of how parenting can be. I also really loved PB&J. I know people have varying opinions on the Pontiac Bandit but I really loved how sweetly sentimental the episode ended up by the end. I also liked that Boyle got to be a part of the episode because I always wanted a Jake, Judy, and Boyle episode. I think the way the season executed the Holt and Kevin storyline was exquisite. I was initially not sure why they went about the route of spitting them up but they did an incredible job at their reunion storyline. The Lake House was a hilarious start. I love that the show came through on the commitment of their vow renewal from like season 2 I believe. Holt and Kevin got the vow renewal, the romantic kiss in the rain. It was wonderful. The season had some strong peraltiago moments, specifically in Balancing and in the finale.

The one episode I was a little meh about was Game of Boyles. I really don't think in a final season which already was so short that we needed an episode about Boyle not being a blood Boyle. It wasn't even a particularly big showcase for Joe and Charles' weird habits. The highlight of the episode was the big Holt and Kevin reunion but the episode was otherwise a bit flat. I think because of the fact that the episode order was so short, a few of the characters seemed genuinely wasted. I believe Stephanie Beatriz was pregnant throughout the shooting. With Covid, maybe it was part of the deal for her to be a more minor role but apart from the premiere and the finale, she really isn't used much despite the premiere kind of pitching her as a driving point of this policing storyline which then pivoted mostly to Holt and Amy. Terry was really completely sidelined all season. He's a hilarious side character in some episodes like The Lake House but he didn't really have a single episode where he got to be front and center. Boyle got a few good moments but, like I said, Game of Boyles wasn't even really a big Charles showcase episode. I think his best episode was Blue Flu. The season really felt more lead centric on Jake, Holt, and Amy. Again, I feel this was mainly because of the fact that the policing story took up half the season and there wasn't really enough room in the rest of the season for the others to be showcased. As a result we didn't get any real detective episodes, no Pimento episode, no Vulture return, no return of Jake and Amy's parents etc... all of which could have been fun.

I feel like I have pointed out the issues I had with the season quite a bit, mainly because the show has set such high standards for seasons past. The episodes are still ranging from decent to really good. I don't think there is any episode that comes as an all time B99 classic in this season, but there isn't any real bad episodes either. So its still a solid season, which brings us to the finale.

The finale was fantastic and I loved every aspect of it barring one specific element. I think the showrunners made the right call by knowing what the show is good at and making a true lighthearted romp as the final two episodes. The heist is just too important a tradition for the show not to happen and it feels appropriate that the show ended on a grand heist. The finale did an incredible job incorporating so many guest stars seamlessly. I also loved that Gina got to come back in a substantial role in the finale. Given how big a part she was in the show, it was only right that she was there at the very end. Almost every key relationship got some great moments. Jake and Amy had some heartfelt moments, Amy and Rosa had a lovely moment, Jake and Charles had a great friendship moment. The only relationship I would have liked another scene with is Jake and Rosa, which is probably my favorite male/female friendship on any show. Loved that Terry gets to be Captain, which he deserves. But in the end, the heart of this show has always been the relationship between Holt and Jake. The final scene between them at the precinct is played completely straight and it absolutely brilliant acting from both Andre Braugher and Andy Samberg. It got me really teary and emotional. But wisely, the show ends on an upbeat note which makes you feel good that these people will always be in each other's lives. I also hope they use the notion of a heist to give us a holiday heist special every once in a while. I would love that.

The one element I don't like is Jake resigning and becoming a stay at home dad. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with being a stay at home Dad or Mom. It just doesn't make sense for me for Jake. I think everybody saw hints that he was going to leave the NYPD, and I was ok with that, and I love the fact that the show used Jake's want to be a father as the basis of his departure because that makes sense for him as a character, but I just don't seem him being happy just as a stay at home dad, no matter how sweet that sentiment is. Andy Samberg doesn't get enough praise with how he sells emotional sincerity, but just two episodes prior, Jake was moaning about how he was incredibly bored during his suspension and how he was desperate for interaction to the point of going to the Boyle house for distraction. On top of that, he admitted to being really bummed that he was unable to catch Franzia himself. It just doesn't seem like he would be happy being away from a life without investigations to keep his mind working. Investigating wasn't just something he did just to earn money, he genuinely loved it. I would have felt better if he said he was going to join Rosa as a PI or start his own PI business. Just a one liner saying that he would do something which would continue his passion while still being able to be there for Mac as a parent. It also gave me an uncomfortable callback to my least favorite episode of the show, Casecation, where Jake was mocked when he argued that having a child might compromise their jobs which they both loved and Amy argued that getting promoted would allow her more control over her hours. And now we are at the finale and Jake's argument was completely right and in the end Jake is compromising on his professional career for Amy. There is no doubt in my mind that Jake would have wanted to continue being a detective and a father were it not for the specific circumstances. Jake choosing his family and Amy is no surprise, but I doubt that would have been his preference. On a more practical note, it is not even remotely believable that a couple with a small child living in Brooklyn can survive on a single income, even if Amy is a Chief. I am absolutely certain that the original endgame was for him to join the FBI. They introduced that idea at the beginning of season 7 for a reason. I think it got torpedoed because of the rewrite of the season arc. I like to headcanon that Jake got back to doing investigating on some level because its a shame if he isn't able to use his natural talents to use.

Anyways, the season overall isn't the home run I hoped it would be but given the circumstances, they did a pretty solid job. It isn't necessarily the season I would revisit as much on rewatch but it still delivers the heart and humor that we love from the show. A 7/10 for me. Like Jake said, goodbyes are inherently sad but the show has had a good run and I am glad its getting to go out on its own terms. I will miss this cast together and I really hope they all find success and I can follow them to other films and tv shows. So lets give it up for the cast and crew. One last time, NINE-NINE!

#b99 #brooklyn nine nine #brooklyn 99 #raymond holt #jake peralta #terry jeffords #amy santiago #rosa diaz #charles boyle #gina linetti #andre braugher #andy samberg #melissa fumero #terry crews #stephanie beatriz #joe lo truglio #chelsea peretti #peraltiago #b99 spoilers #pimento #teddy wells #joanna newsom

[emachinescat]

Being traumatized doesn't make you weak: A closer look at MacGyver 5x12

I shared a truncated version of this on Twitter but wanted to share it here, too.  I am rankled because of the toxicity around the last episode, and the show in general.  Here are some thoughts on the matter:

I am astounded at the amount of people accusing Mac of being a wimp or a “pussy” (derogatory word, by the way) or of having no self-respect because he is staying with Desi after what she told him in 5x12.  People are acting like he’s pitiful, weak, and less of a man because he chose to further explore his relationship with Desi instead of leaving her.

BUT HERE’S THE THING.

Mac isn’t settling with being a rebound.  He is trying to explore how he and Desi work, and if they are compatible in a living situation.  He’s testing the waters, trying to help discover if Desi truly is using him as an emotional stand-in, and if they can become something more.

(On that note, no, I do not think at all that Desi should have lied to him, and I do not like the idea of him being an emotional stand-in, but at least the fact that she is worried that’s what he is to her shows that she doesn’t want to treat him like that.  It doesn’t make it right, and I do think this is another nail in the coffin of their relationship, but I don’t think it makes her the horrible person some people are trying to paint her as.  Anyway.)

Also, it is not OOC for Mac to ask Desi to move in after the open door conversation with Riley, and the writers have absolutely not abandoned that conversation.  There will absolutely be another reckoning.  In this situation, Mac is actually doing something kind of smart (at least smarter than proposing): He is backing off from the idea of marriage and is trying to feel out their compatibility.  He’s no longer jumping headfirst into a lifetime commitment.  Yes, moving in together is a huge step, but it isn’t marriage.  And that is progress.

And then there’s this: People who complain about the ways Mac has changed as a character seem to forget the hard truth that loss, pain, and change, well, change you.  Mac has lost and suffered so much.  Of course he’s going to be more subdued, rash, moody, and clingy!  This guy already had abandonment issues.  In the space of a few years, he has found his absent dad, lost him again, found and lost his aunt, had his morals tested by discovering his mom’s part in Codex, lost Jack, and has had several teammates and friends leave, die, or betray him.

I can tell you from personal experience that people who suffer from abandonment and losses often do not make healthy relationship choices.  They are so afraid that they are going to lose someone else that, as soon as they find someone who is willing to stick by them, they cling on stubbornly, regardless of the quality of the relationship.

It doesn’t surprise or anger me at all that Mac stays in a toxic relationship.  It doesn’t make me think any less of him as a character.  I actually really appreciate seeing him struggle with the same issues I have because it makes me and my pain feel seen and real and valid.

People who have lost so much or feel abandoned aren’t weak.  They are terrified of being left again.  So with all that Mac has lost, it would actually be OOC if he didn’t cling to Desi like he is.  I do fully believe, though, that Riley is going to slowly help him regain his sense of self and his confidence, and help him realize that he doesn’t have to settle with someone who stays.  He can find (much like I did, with my husband), someone who stays AND makes him feel safe, wanted, valid, and happy.

Mac’s character arc is honestly one of the most realistic and well-handled aspects of the show.  He has shifted from being a relatively stereotypical male action hero to a real person with actual repercussions for the pain he’s been through, and I am living for it.

Please, even if you aren’t a fan of his character arc, MacDesi, or where the show is going, don’t perpetuate the idea that a sensitive, hurting, or traumatized individual is weak or stupid (I saw one post call Mac and idiot and then immediately explain that he’s an idiot because he has no self-confidence).  It’s such a damaging and hurtful mindset to people who deal with these issues, and it’s so, so toxic.

Personally, at the end of the day, even though I do ship MacRiley, if Desi’s character were to develop and both she and Mac were to learn what an emotion is and how to communicate it, as long as Riley too was happy, I wouldn’t be devestated if Mac and Desi ended up together.  Because honestly, I’m not watching the show for the ships.  I’m watching it for the amazing characters, actors, stories, and MacGyverisms!

Though, let's be real, it's VERY obvious from the writing, interviews, acting, and common tropes (another post on that coming soon) that MacRiley is going to be end game, so please y'all, push for season 6 so we can see that happen!

Finally, please consider this: Although we love MacGyver so much, it still is, at the end of the day, a work of fiction. This hatred, negativity, and toxicity is so unnecessary and damaging. I hope that we can learn to at least agree on one thing - that we love this show, and don't want it to end. <3

Thanks for listening to my rant. The chaotic, toxic state of this fandom has been weighing heavily on me for months now, but the posts I saw today accusing a traumatized person with abandonment issues of being weak were the last straw.

Actually, one final thing - there are people saying that MacRiley is never going to happen and that Riley has been relegated to a background character with Desi at the forefront, more important, because 5x12 focused more on her. I think these people have very selective memories, considering that Desi was barely in 5x11 at all, and that Riley was one of the two main focuses of that episode! This has less to do with the rest of my rant, but it bothered me too, and I wanted to address it. Thanks for sticking around this long!

#macgyver #angus macgyver #macriley #macdesi #macgyver 5x12 #serious topic #abandonment issues #emotional trauma #tw abandonment #character study #rant #why has this fandom become so toxic #toxic fandom #why the divide #my thoughts #my rants #actually damaging things and ideas are being spouted #mac is not weak #he is traumatized #and we MUST stop the lie that being traumatized makes you weak #mental health #tw mental health #desi nguyen #riley davis #more thoughts on macriley coming soon #but this needed to come first #because it's more important #and can actually hurt people if not addressed #this hurts me #because i have been mac

[thesibfiles]

Courtney going on tour right after?

Theres a misconception that after Kurts death, Courtney went straight on tour right away. This is false. The album was already set to release a few days after and they couldnt change that on such a short notice. Promotion for the album was cancelled and she pushed back the tour 4 months.

“Live Through This was supposed to provide Love an opportunity to step out from her famous husband’s shadow. “It’s annoying now, and it’s been annoying for nine years, Love said in a 1999 Jane Magazine interview of always being connected to Cobain. Released four days after Cobain’s body was found, the album’s promotion was put on hold. Rather than retreat from the public eye, Love openly mourned and helped fans of Cobain and Nirvana make sense of the singer’s death. She sat with grieving teenagers gathered outside the couple’s Seattle home and recorded a reading of parts of his suicide note that was played at the singer’s memorial that gathered near the Space Needle. In the days following his death, Love showed a very raw and emotional side and admitted that, like many fans, she didn’t have all the answers. 

It was, and still is, impossible for people to discuss Live Through This without noting the irony of the album’s title. Love has said the name was not a prediction at all, but instead a reflection of all she had endured in the months leading up to its release, including a very public custody fight with the Los Angeles Department of Family Services over daughter Frances Bean. Rumors suggested that Cobain had written much of Live Through This (it’s Miss World, not Mister, just FYI). “I’d be proud as hell to say that he wrote something on it, but I wouldn’t let him. It was too Yoko for me. It’s like, ‘No fucking way, man! I’ve got a good band, I don’t fucking need your help,’” was Love’s response to critics in Spin’s oral history of Live Through This. Love and Cobain often shared notebooks and lyrics with each other, and while there is talk of Cobain’s influence on Love’s work, or the writing of all of it, less is mentioned in the press of her impact on his lyrics and music. Rather than sucking all the life out of Nirvana or threatening the success of the band, like many assumed she would do, she inspired Cobain. Fun fact: In Utero, Nirvana’s last album, was named after a line from one of Love’s poems.

Sadly, songwriting rumors would be replaced by other rumors. Women are often vilified and condemned for the deaths of their male partners. Love, like all women, was supposed to save her partner from death and addiction. Fans of Cobain projected all their anger and resentment over the loss of the Nirvana front man onto Love, and soon she was blamed for not only his addiction but also his death. There are even two movies devoted to the theory that Courtney killed Kurt: the awful Soaked in Bleach (2015) and the equally awful Kurt & Courtney (1998). If you think we’ve come a long way, baby, sadly we haven’t. 

One year after Anthony Bourdain’s death, Asia Argento is still being blamed, and in September 2018, Ariana Grande had to take a break from social media after fans blamed her for the death of her ex Mac Miller. A few months later, she would be blamed for new beau Pete Davidson’s mental health and addiction issues. It’s amazing she finds the time to write hit songs what with all the dude destruction she has going on. When women are not being blamed for the deaths of the men in their lives, they are being attacked for not grieving properly. “She wasn’t crying. She’s got $30 million coming to her. Do you blame her for being so cool?” a hospital staffer said of Yoko Ono following John Lennon’s murder in 1980. 

About four months after Cobain’s death, Love went on tour to promote her new album. Some questioned and judged why she would go on tour so soon, but Love has said it was a necessity. She had a young daughter to support. She needed to work. She also, sadly, still needed to prove herself. “I would like to think that I’m not getting the sympathy vote, and the only way to do that is to prove that what I’ve got is real,” Love told Rolling Stone in 1994.

Twenty-five years later, Cobain’s death still hangs over Live Through This. In the days leading up to the anniversary of Cobain’s death, former Hole bassist Melissa Auf der Maur wrote an open letter to music magazine Kerrang saying she “would not stand for Kurt’s death overshadowing the life and work of the women he left behind this year.”

“We were extremely well designed for each other,” Love has said of her relationship with Cobain. In a letter reprinted in Dirty Blonde: The Diaries of Courtney Love, she calls him “my everything. the top half on my fraction.” The two had similar upbringings, both came from broken homes and spent childhoods shuttling between relatives and friends. They both grew up longing for love and acceptance. When we tell the story of Kurt and Courtney we talk about drugs and destruction, but we don’t talk enough about love.

The two also shared an intense drive and ambition. “I didn’t want to marry a rock star, I wanted to be one,” Love said in a 1992 Sassy interview. Evidence of her drive can be found in the many notes and to-do lists she kept, some of which are collected in Dirty Blonde. There are reminders to send her acting résumé to agencies, to write three to four new songs a week, to “achieve L.A. visibility.” A scene in the documentary Kurt & Courtney features an ex of Love’s reading from one of her to-do lists, which has “become friends with Michael Stipe” as the number one task to complete (not only did Love do this, but he is her daughter’s godfather). This ambition is not surprising from a woman who, when she was younger, mailed a tape of herself singing to Neil Sedaka in hopes of getting signed. Love knew what she wanted at an early age, and what she wanted was fame.

She was certainly living by the “do not hurt yourself, destroy yourself, mangle yourself to get the football captain. Be the football captain!” motto she championed in the 1995 documentary Not Bad for a Girl. Ambition is often a dirty word when it is used to describe women and Love is no exception. She has been repeatedly described as calculating and controlling when she should be rewarded for her blond ambition and viewed as an inspiration. Critics and the press often call her a gold digger who only married Cobain for fame and money. They fail to mention that when the two met Pretty on the Inside was actually selling more copies than Bleach, Nirvana’s debut album. Even post-Kurt, Love’s intentions were always under scrutiny. On the Today Show to do press for The People vs. Larry Flynt, Love refused to talk about her past drug use, despite the host’s repeated questions, saying the topic was not an appropriate fit for the show’s demographic. She was right, but it didn’t stop a writer from describing the move as “calculating” in a 1998 Spin piece.

Cobain was ambitious too; he was just much slyer and more secretive about it. He was known to call his manager and complain when MTV didn’t play Nirvana’s videos enough, and he would correct journalists who misquoted the band’s sales figures in interviews. While success is typically celebrated and rewarded for men and it certainly was for Cobain, he also had to be mindful of the slacker generation that loved Nirvana and greeted success — and especially mainstream success —

While female celebrities like Love are criticized for their rebellion, male celebrities, like Cobain for example, are celebrated and mythologized for it. Cobain and Love both struggled with addiction, but it is Love who is repeatedly vilified for her drug use. “She was vilified for being a mess, for being a drug addict, for not being a great parent — in other words, all of the things we expect in a male rock star,” said Bust magazine in a piece in the magazine’s 20th anniversary issue, which featured Love on the cover.

We make jokes about the drug antics of male celebrities from Keith Richards to Charlie Sheen, idolizing their debauchery and depravity. The new Netflix/Lifetime movie by Jack Daniels, The Dirt, about Mötley Crüe, takes the band’s excesses to almost comic levels. Check out crazy tourmate Ozzy Osbourne snorting a line of ants by a hotel pool! Such zany antics! I would love to see Lindsay Lohan try to get away with that. We never allow women to live down their arrests and their addictions, but we repeatedly allow men to have a redemption arc. Robert Downey Jr. was in and out of jail and on and off drugs for much of the mid to late ’90s, but we rarely, if ever, talk about his past.

When Love isn’t being attacked for her addiction issues, she is being judged for her parenting. Love’s first unflattering press was “Strange Love,” the much publicized 1992 Vanity Fair profile by Lynn Hirschberg. While the piece talks at length about Love’s drug use and constantly questions her parenting ability, it doesn’t paint Cobain in the same light. “It is appalling to think that she would be taking drugs when she knew she was pregnant,” says one close friend in the piece. Hirschberg relies on many unnamed sources and focuses often on the tabloid-like aspects of Love’s life and addictions. “Courtney has a long history with drugs. She loves Percodans (‘They make me vacuum’), and has dabbled with heroin off and on since she was eighteen, once even snorting it in Room 101 of the Chelsea Hotel, where Nancy Spungen died,” she writes. “Reportedly, Kurt didn’t do much more than drink until he met Courtney.” (Even when it is reported by Kurt and Krist that Kurt tried heroin in 1989, way before Courtney, It was also known that he smoked weed and used caugh syrup to get high in 1989 and 1990.)

This double standard was common in coverage of the couple. In Kurt Cobain: Montage of Heck, the 2015 documentary by Brett Morgen, Love asks her husband, “Why does everyone think you’re the good one and I’m the bad one?” Later in the film we see a scene of Frances Bean’s first haircut. The child sits on Cobain’s lap while Love searches for a comb and scissors. The camera shows Cobain nodding off, and while he maintains that he is just tired, it’s clear he’s not. The scene is painful to watch, especially because those around Cobain carry on like nothing in wrong, giving the feeling this is just like any other day in the Love-Cobain household. The scene is a reminder of how the press treated Cobain’s addiction when he was alive. They just carried on like nothing was wrong, instead directing all their judgement at Love.

#courtneylove #courtney love #hole #grunge #nirvana #kurt cobain #kurtcobain #90s