#also THANK YOU for so many questions in this ask sorry this took me FOREVER to respond (two days)

[megamindsupremacy]

Heyyyy so about that pjo/batfam au.... I love it.

I wonder if any of the bat kids are legacies or half bloods? Like, they'd be ripe for urgent adoption and training, given the inherent risk of monsters! Not to mention the specially bred deep rooted battle/hero instincts. Would only some be half bloods? Any? How would that affect the dynamics, to have some (or just B) be aware of and able to interact with this whole secret world complete with monsters hidden in plain sight?? There's got to be tons of secret pjo resource stashes like different metals, foods, weapons, armour hidden everywhere hehe.

Ooh, would a bat kid ever have accidentally eaten ambrosia/nectar (or gotten close) without knowing what it is? Is Alfred a legacy?? A satyr?!! That'd be so so cool. (and it'd be an explanation for how long lived he is lmao)

If the batkids were all legacies/half bloods, who would be who? Would there be a mix of greek/roman? Is Bruce aware of the Egyptians or Norse lot?? I'm so curioussssss

ooo okay so the batkids! i explained it like... a year ago (jeez) in this post but here's the basic rundown:

Bruce: Athena (three parents, complicated situation)

Dick: Hermes (three parents, uncomplicated situation)

Babs: mortal, clearsighted, not The Oracle but calls herself Oracle

Jason: Nemesis (still working this one out)

Cass: Shiva/Nike, raised by David Cain

Tim: Bellona/Janet (who is a legacy of zeus)

Steph: Apollo

Damian: Legacy Athena/Hades

Duke: normal ("normal") meta but everyone up to and including Apollo thinks he's Apollo's kid

-

There are definitely stashes of demigod resources! most of the stock is in the Batcave, but they definitely have stashes in all the safehouses. They're basically like any other resource- medical supplies, celestial bronze dagger, batarangs, smoke pellets, ambrosia, etc. Considering that celestial bronze and nectar/ambrosia are pretty rare, i doubt they're using them daily, but everyone definitely has emergency demigod equipment on them. I'm also making Gotham a Land Beyond Gods, a la Alaska in SoN, so there's less of a monster problem than other cities. Gotham kinda like the trash dump of the demigod world- all the weird fucked up stuff ends up there for our intrepid heroes to get chased by.

-

Most of the Batkids are aware of who they are, eventually! Bruce, Cass, and Damian always know, Dick and Jason figure it out pretty quickly after living with Bruce, Tim figures it out himself before becoming Robin, and Steph only figures it out after she "dies" (poor guy). Bruce isn't very good with the Mist, and monsters aren't like, a huge problem in Gotham, so it's not really a big deal to them if they are/aren't demigods. Babs kept up just fine as a mortal, after all. Like i said earlier, ambrosia/nectar are in short supply in Gotham (bruce doesn't really have a consistent way of getting more besides through diana, who also doesnt really have a consistent way of getting more), so nobody's eating any by accident.

-

I have literally no idea what's going on with Alfred. I joked a while back that he's a minor god, which I'm not opposed to, I'd just have to work that one out a bit more. The satyr idea is fun and works really well, except imagining Alfred with goat legs and eating aluminum cans freaks me out and I don't know what to do about that. He could also just be a mortal blessed by [insert god here] to have a longer lifespan, or someone who made a deal with [insert god here] to be alive as long as Bruce/the Wayne family needs him. It'll be interesting to figure out, whenever I end up doing that!

-

Bruce and Co. are NOT aware of the other pantheons! As in, they are so unaware of the other pantheons that nobody can figure out who the fuck Tim's godly parent is. Bellona is on nobody's radar, everyone is split between Ares/Dionysus/Athena/????. They also haven't figured out he's a Zeus legacy, because his ancestor fled to Gotham during WW2 and then did their best to hide their heritage for their and their kids' safety. Poor guy doesn't know what the fuck is going on, basically. Bruce is actually pretty cut off from CHB, so he's not super up-to-date about the demigod world. He tends to focus more on the superhero side of things. His kids have varying levels of interest/affiliation with the demigods, but they're definitely not on the "first to know" end of news whenever things happen. It takes a hot minute for anyone to figure out the Romans exist, and considering that Percy and Annabeth try pretty hard to conceal the Egyptian and presumably Norse pantheons, we can assume the Batfam isn't aware of those guys for quite a bit after the Greeks learn about them.

#i should make an ask tag #pjo batfam au #pjo #batfam #dcu #percy jackson #i also want to clarify that most of this isn't set in stone until its posted on ao3 #im still wiggling things around to make everything fit right but the VIBES. the ESSENCE is still there. thats what matters #<- tags from a person trying to convince themself that worldbuilding on the fly is the correct way to do things #also THANK YOU for so many questions in this ask sorry this took me FOREVER to respond (two days) #i love talking about my aus everybody come yell questions at me

[sorrowfulmuse]

Can I request a OPLA sanji x fem!reader fluffy story please? If you don’t like writing for Sanji, I’d also be fine with OPLA Luffy or OPLA Buggy.

Please and thank you. :)

♡ :: "opla!sanji x fem!reader." short imagine!

mentions/warnings:: nothing, just two pirates being in love although others had misunderstandings about your relationship but.. watch out for typos and whatnot, i am writing this at 4am TT also this will be a simple imagine as i’m rusty and didn’t know what prompt i should’ve used. 😭

p.s im sorry it took me so long!!! i got caught with a few things and almost finished it last night

✧ soft secret kisses being shared, longing touches and love affirmations being whispered into each others ears. sanji was floating on cloud9 every time he was near y/n, no other person could amount to her. not even a Goddess could compare to her beauty and light. she was everything to him, his universe.

sanji relished in her presence every time he was near her, his heart drumming to every kiss she left on his lips and ‘i love yous’. she was his own personal paradise. she hung the stars for him and he worshiped her for it.

although, in love and happy.. they never stated in their relationship to others, were they both single? were they long time friends? ex lovers perhaps? sanji being a flirt again? people had only guessed and assumed they both spoken for by other people. today, was very different that from that spotlight cause well,

"my love, you have to keep your eyes closed!" sanji laughed as he tried his best to guide to this ‘gift’ he kept talking about for weeks. "oh cmon handsome! can’t i just take a little peak?" y/n.. trying to use her charms against him was to no avail, sanji wasn’t going to give up and continued to lead her to his gift. "i wanna see your reaction so no peaks!"

y/n's palms were sweating, when questioned? she could only blame it on the summers heat. she was nervous, nervous about what sanji could possibly gift her. were they running away from the culinary life? the overbearing thoughts had consumed her in the worst ways possible until,

"okay, we’re here." he whispered in her ear, sending a shiver down her back. she almost didn’t want the blindfold off soon as the bright lights were hard to adjust to. "why.." now she was left speechless, a little hidden spot on a island, sanji had decorated the nature around them with beautiful colorful lanterns, bouquets filled with many sweets of her favorite candies and flowers. petals laid on the ground, kissed by more roses after roses.

"sanji.. what is this?" it was unusual for him to be this quiet.

turning to find him down on knee with a small box in his one palm while the other still held hers. "my y/n, we’ve hip to hip since the moment we were both stuck on that rock with zeff. we stuck with each other as we discovered the same passion for food, owing our own restaurant together and many more.. but i want something more than that. no, i need more. i want you and i.. to be happy and healthy forever."

tears flooded against y/n's eyes, "i know it’s just a ring but it’ll symbolize something in the future, anything you want! i just.. i.." now sanji was close to tears himself. "y/n.. will you be my wife?" without a word, the girl before him tackled him to the ground crying her heart out. "of course i will sanji!" they both laid there, crying and kissing each other. "oh! i thought you’ll never ask!" y/n giggled, (she knew) throughout the night they celebrated their engagement, celebrating to spending eternity together.

#vinsmoke sanji #opla sanji #opla x reader #opla x y/n #opla scenarios #sanji x reader #one piece sanji #op sanji #sanji icons #sanji imagine #sanji fanfic #sanji fluff #sanji angst #opla!sanji x reader #one piece #one piece live action

[generalllimaginesss]

prompt: “if you don’t love me just say that”. “i was 15 minutes late!”

with Jamie drysdale if possible <333

I hope you like this!! My first Jamie fic :)) Also I’m about to start working on a few more requests, but keep sending them in! As always, thank you so much for reading!!

••

The clock on the nightstand read the time as 7:15 p.m. a reminder of the absence of a certain someone that should’ve been home already.

Jamie had promised that he wasn’t going to be late for the date, but he was going golfing with a few of his teammates, and well, there’s no telling what events unfolded and what time he would be home.

As you were finishing the small details of your makeup, satisfied with your reflection in the mirror on your vanity, the sound of the door that led to the garage frantically opened and shut. A flash of fair skin and dark hair darted straight past you to the shower in your shared bathroom.

“Jamie…” You gave him a disappointed sigh, listening as he was taking the world’s fastest shower.

“I know, I know,” He called, washing the sweat out his hair.

It felt like he was taking forever, but between the time that he got out of the shower and started to dry his hair with the hair dryer, about 15 minutes passed.

You had already laid his suit on the bed with his shoes and belt to the side so that he wouldn’t have to take the time to decide between the many suits he had.

“Trevor told me to tell you that he’s not sorry for stealing me for the day,” Jamie winked at you, flashing a teasing smile as he began to get dressed, tucking his shirt in, putting his belt on, and tying his shoes.

“Hm, was that before or after you realized you were going to be late,” You asked, spritzing perfume on your wrists and chest.

“Babe,” Jamie whined.

“The next time you see Trevor, tell him he’s the side bitch,” You flashed a sarcastic smile towards Jamie, him grinning in response.

“Is that right,” Jamie quipped, adjusting the watch on his wrist. He snaked an arm around your waist, the smell of your perfume intoxicating him. His lips left a dewy kiss on your temple.

“Better be,” You responded under your breath and began to make your way to the living room, waiting on Jamie to make sure his hair looked decent and completely ignoring his attempt at reconciliation.

The two of you made your way to your favorite fine dining restaurant near your house, an Italian restaurant that had some of the best drinks in town.

“What are you getting?” Jamie asked, his eyes peering at you from behind his menu.

“The usual.”

“And that would be…” Jamie knew he’d have to work a little bit to get out of the dog house for being late.

“If you don’t love me just say it,” You rolled your eyes as you raised your eyebrows as him, holding back the smile that was fighting to show while giving him a hard time.

“Babe, I was 15 minutes late!” His voice rose as he defended himself. He knew you wouldn’t be able to drop this until he made it up to you in some way.

“I’m just teasing, you goob. I know you love me,” You thumped his forehead, him rubbing it in response.

“I love you so very much,” He took your hand and tangled your legs underneath the table.

“More than golf?” You questioned.

He pretended to think about it, resulting in a kick to his shin, but he quickly responded.

“Golf’s got nothing against my girl,” He smiled, kissing the top of your hand.

He discretely rubbed his shin, but he’d take a million kicks to the shin if it meant he could tell you how much he loved you all the time.

#nhl imagine #nhl fic #jack hughes #quinn hughes #trevor zegras #alex turcotte #cole caufield #jack hughes imagines #nhl fanfiction #nico hischier #jamie drysdale #jamie drysdale fic #Jamie drysdale imagine #writing prompt #please request more #baby Jamie

[sofiareidings]

Falling For You

Summary: Spencer is completely oblivious to how madly in love you are. That's it. Warnings: fluff and swearing.

A/N: I feel like this idea has been done before, so if I subconsciously copied a fic, let me know!! Also, I didn't mean to do it, but this story is technically spencerxgn!reader so. Also, i'm back!! Another story is coming out at 9pm EST, so be ready!!!

Word Count: 0.9k

Song Suggestions: Wildest Dreams (Taylor's Version) by Taylor Swift

You two clicked immediately. It was strange, you were both so opposite. I guess that's what made it work. What he lacked you made up for and reversed. Not many other people knew much about your personal life except for him. Your favourite thing about him was his words. Everytime he rambled about the most random times you could listen forever.

Whenever he looked at you, you melted. When he smiled your face burned from blushing. And whenever he talked you just wanted to kiss him. But you had no clue if he felt the same. For a genius he was quite oblivious to your flirting and comments. If he liked you he definitely had a good way of hiding it.

There was only one issue.

***

The movie was about halfway through and you made sure to turn the couch into a bed, Spencer had come over to watch it with you. If someone asked you tomorrow morning what the movie was about you wouldn't be able to say, he'd been talking the whole time.

"...That actually isn't correct," He started, moving his hands around for emphasis. "In the wild, there are two formally recognised lion subspecies. The African lion is found in Africa, south of the Sahara desert. The Asiatic lion exists in one small population around Gir Forest National Park in western India. Wild lions in the west and central Africa are more closely related to these Asiatic lions in India than to those found in southern and east Africa. So realistically the characters would be..."

Listening to him talk was like heaven, but at the same time it was hell. He just looked so huggable.

No, kissable. The butterflies in your stomach made you giggle, he paused and frowned. Looking like a lost puppy.

"What? Did I say something wrong?" Stumbling over the words as he spoke, you stopped laughing and grabbed his hands while smiling.

"No, no you didn't. It was just…cute." You muttered.

"Thank you?" A confused look on his face when he responded. Your heart shattered a little, that was obvious wasn't it? Did his feelings not reciprocate? "Oh! Also, manes on male lions tell a story. Male lions grow impressive manes the older they get. These manes grow up to 16 cm long and are a sign of dominance. The older they get, the darker their manes go. As well as attracting females, their manes may also protect…"

His words trailed off again and he stared at you. "You keep being weird. You're all red. Did I say something wrong? I know that sometimes I speak for too long and I go on and on, which annoys people-" He sighed, "And I'm doing it now. I'm sorry."

"No, please. I love when you talk. It's calming." Grinning, you continued, "So what about protection?"

"Oh, um…manes can also protect their neck and head from injuries during a fight." He slowed down his speaking, like he was a little self-conscious about his words now. When he stopped talking everything was silent, except for the sound of the movie quietly playing on the TV in front of you.

"Spence? What's wrong?" Tilting your head and looking at him, he was staring at the TV but he didn't seem to be watching it. Just thinking, his eyebrows furrowed like they normally did while he was deep in thought. "What are you thinking about?"

"Have you been flirting with me?" He blurted out, looking back up and at you. You almost jumped, not expecting that question.

"What?" Still in shock it took you a minute to respond. Letting the silence fill the air again, he didn't speak. He just stared, waiting for an answer. "I-What would you think if I was?"

"I would've wished I'd noticed sooner." He sighed, making that puppy-dog face you loved. Neither of you really knew what to do and sat there for what you would believe could've been hours.

"Fuck it." You breathed out and as if he knew what you were thinking as well he leaned in at the same time as you, kissing you softly. After a couple seconds you felt his hands wrap around your face, holding it as he kissed more.

Your hands didn't know where to go, after a couple more seconds they finally found their place, one around the back of his neck and the other tucked around his waist. Pulling you closer to him.

A couple seconds later you both moved away from each other, only long enough to catch your breaths and muttering random words. Before you knew it the both of you were back to kissing, to make up for how long you guys spent not kissing.

The longer it went the closer to each other you got, his one hand started to slide down your neck and then your waist when suddenly your hand hit a button and the movie that was still playing turned up to full volume.

Both scrambling for the remote he managed to shut the TV off, surrounding you both in the darkness of the night.

The two of you continued to kiss every once in a while but it didn't take long for the darkness to make you both sleepy and you ended up just cuddling. You fell asleep with your head on his chest, listening to his heart beat. He had one hand holding you close to him, as if someone was coming to steal you away. The other hand tracing up and down your back until he too, drifted off to sleep.

#criminal minds #spencer reid #criminal minds fandom #fandom #fanfic #bau #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x gn!reader #sofiareidings

[vioartemis]

Friend? (Part 3)

(Wednesday Addams x fem! reader)

Summary: Your relationship with Wednesday evolves, and the two of you attempt a ritual that may not go exactly as planned... Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3 || Part 4 Warnings: a tiny bit of blood Italian words: tesoro = darling || cara mia = my dear (English isn't my first language, I'm sorry if there are mistakes or if something doesn't make sense TvT)

As promised, the next day, Wednesday was in front of your house at 4pm sharp. You hadn’t told your parents about your nights out -for obvious reasons, and so you couldn’t tell them about the… accident.

If they wouldn’t be happy about you going out at night, you were sure they would lock you in forever if they learned you got hurt, even more if they knew it was at Nevermore. They weren’t big fans of outcasts; always thought they were kinda weird.

Luckily, they didn’t ask too many questions about why you were going out.

You met Wednesday outside, a smile forming on your lips as soon as you saw her.

“How are you feeling?” she asked you, a hint of concern in her voice

“I’m okay, don’t worry”

She gave you a severe look and raised an eyebrow.

“… Okay, okay… It hurts a bit when I move too much” you confessed

“When you walk?”

You shook your head no, giving her a reassuring smile. She nodded, satisfied with your answer.

“Come on then” she said, taking your hand in hers and intertwining your fingers just like the day before

She had missed the warmth your hand provided her.

She started walking, but not too fast so you wouldn’t hurt yourself.

“Where are we going?” you asked her with a smile

“You told me about a new horror movie you wanted to see. I thought we could watch it together.”

“You remember that?” you asked with a surprised chuckle

“Of course.”

You could swear you saw her lips curl slightly up into a tiny smile.

The movie was great, and watching it with Wednesday made it even better. She never let go of your hand, not even when some guys were giving you weird looks.

Eventually, it was time to walk you back to your house. The sun was slowly disappearing in a beautiful sunset. You took a minute or two to watch it with the raven, in front of your house, making the moment last longer.

“Thank you for today, it was really fun. I… I’d love to do that again, if it’s okay with you” you said softly

“It was indeed fun.” Wednesday nodded

You both stayed silent for a minute, not wanting to let go of the other’s hand or leave each other’s company. You didn’t know what to say or what to do. You wanted to do something. But you weren’t sure she would like it, and you didn’t want to rush things.

Wednesday also wanted to do something, anything, not to leave you so soon. She wanted to kiss you. She didn’t really understand the feeling or why she wanted it so badly, but god, your lips looked so tempting.

She eventually pulled you closer to her, her eyes darting between your own and your lips.

You got the hint and leaned in slightly, until your lips touched. The kiss was quick and shy, but it got you blushing like crazy already.

You were about to pull away completely, when you felt the raven grabbing the collar of your shirt and bringing you closer to her. She stopped when your lips were only inches away from hers, letting you some time to say if you didn’t want to do it again.

Not hearing you complain or do anything against it, she pulled on your shirt and kissed you again, more confidently this time. Your free hand made its way to the back of her neck, keeping her close as you made out in the middle of the street.

You couldn’t care less about people seeing you or judging you. Nothing mattered. Just her.

A few weeks had passed since your first kiss with Wednesday. You both decided to go on dates two times a week and that you would take turns choosing the activity. You tried to surprise each other with different activities you thought you would like, and so far it worked pretty well.

This day it was your turn to choose the date, and you had the perfect idea.

You had told your parents you were spending the night at a friend’s house, which gave you the whole night to spend with Wednesday. When the raven arrived where you agreed to meet, she immediately kissed you, even before saying hello.

Now she understood why her parents were always on each other. It was just so addictive to kiss you… She could do it for hours and never get bored.

“Where are we going?” she asked after pulling away from your lips

“Follow me” you replied with a wink, taking her hand

You walked for a few minutes before arriving in Jericho’s old cemetery. You stopped in the middle, where two shovels and torches were waiting for you, along with a backpack containing some snacks.

“Tadam!”

You were quite proud of yourself, and it showed.

“Is that… for grave digging?”

“Yes! Do you like the idea?”

“Very much so. Do you plan on dig with me?” she asked, and you could swear there was concern in her voice

“Well yes, why?”

She took your hands in hers and looked straight into your eyes.

“You’re still hurt, you could re-open your wounds. It’s not a good idea, tesoro”

Her tone was softer than it usually was; she was really worried about your health. That made you smile, how much she cared about you.

“Wends, I’m fine. I promise” you punctuated your words with a kiss on her lips and gave her hands a little squeeze “Come on now, let’s get started”

You let go of her hands and go grab the shovels on the ground, holding one out for her. She took it with a little sigh.

“You better not hurt yourself.”

You rolled your eyes with a smile.

“I won’t”

After digging for a while, the raven was the one who ended up hurting herself. She cut her hand on a broken coffin. You dropped your shovel and checked the wound.

“It looks bad” you mumbled as you got out of the hole you dug to grab water and clean the cut

You were quick to get back to her and pour water on her hand. You were taking a closer look at the wound, holding her hand in yours, when the cut started to close by itself, only leaving a faint mark and some blood on her palm.

Wednesday’s eyes widened slightly in shock. But she was smart, she was quick to understand what happened -or more exactly who made that happen.

“It’s the plants, isn’t it?”

You nodded.

“I wasn’t sure of what happened at first, still not am, but you’re probably right. Though the plants aren’t supposed to have that kind of effect…” you said the last bit more quietly, more for yourself than for her to hear

“Surely. Healing powers aren’t part of their characteristics.” Wednesday added

“It’s not exactly that; I don’t heal”

The raven raised an eyebrow, waiting for you to elaborate.

You looked back at her hand and the remaining blood on her skin started to move and ended up forming a little spider.

“You can manipulate blood?”

“Looks like it”

<><><><> ♡ <><><><>

During the next weeks, you tried to tell your parents about your ‘ability’. It wasn’t easy, but you knew you had to. And surprisingly, they didn’t seem too shocked. You knew you were adopted, but you never had considered the possibility of your biological parents being outcasts.

No one knew who your real parents are, but considering your newfound ‘powers’, there was a high chance for them to be outcasts.

Thanks to Wednesday, Nevermore’s principal accepted to let you in even if it was the middle of a semester. You didn’t know how the raven managed to convince her, but you were glad she was able to.

Your first days at your new school were exactly how you imagined. Everything was so much more interesting than what was taught in Jericho High. Wednesday couldn’t take her eyes off you. You looked so excited, thrilled to be here… The way your eyes were shining all the time made her lips curl slightly up.

“Careful Addams, you’re drooling” Bianca had teased her, resulting in a glare from the raven

The fact that you now lived at Nevermore made your nights together way easier too. No more climbing the wall of their balcony, just walking in the hallways. You could also spend more intimate time together without bothering Enid all the time as you didn’t have a roommate.

Intimate meaning long reading sessions, experimenting sessions, or make out sessions sometimes. Wednesday even spent some nights in your dorm.

Tonight was one of these nights.

She had taken Goody’s spell book with her, and you were studying it together.

“Wait, I think two pages are stuck together” you said, separating the pages

“I never noticed.” the raven admitted

On the pages, there was a sort of ritual -you weren’t sure- that would grant the person who does it an answer to the question they desperately want an answer to.

Without needed to hear it, Wednesday knew what you were thinking about; it could help you figure out who your biological parents are.

“What about we try?” she suggested, having herself a question she wanted an answer to

“Do you think it would work?”

“Goody was a witch of great power. Her book is reliable. You can trust me.” she reassured you

And so you tried. You did everything written on the page.

But nothing happened.

“Perhaps the effect will come later.”

“It’s okay Wends, it just didn’t work”

You wanted to sound calm and collected, but she knew you were disappointed.

“I’m sorry, cara mia…”

“Don’t apologize, it’s okay” you gave her a little smile “Let’s just sleep, okay?”

Wednesday watched as you got up from the floor and walked to your bed. She felt a bit guilty for giving you hope, just for it not to work out. But she couldn’t do anything about it, could she?

She soon joined you in bed, taking you in her arms and kissing your forehead.

“I promise we will find a way” she said quietly

You nodded slightly, finding comfort in her embrace, slowly falling asleep.

When you opened your eyes, Wednesday was nowhere to be found. You were surprised: it wasn’t her type to leave in the middle of the night. You sat up on the bed and took a look around.

The decoration of your room had changed -or more exactly disappeared.

That was really weird now.

You looked at the time on your watch. 9:17am.

“Shit”

You were so late to class! Maybe that’s why Wednesday was gone, she didn’t want to wake you up after your disappointment of the night before.

You were about to open your closet to put your uniform on, when you noticed you forgot to take it of before going to sleep -which wasn’t a bad thing actually.

You ran to class and opened the door a tad bit violently.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t wake up, I-”

You stopped. You didn’t know anyone in this class. You were sure to have this class though. Something was definitely wrong. And Wednesday wasn’t with you. Usually she was the one who calmed you when you were panicking, and without her you didn’t know what you would do.

It must’ve been obvious that you were not okay, because one of the people in the room came to you and led you out of the classroom.

“Hey, hey, look at me” she told you “Look at me. Breath in. And breathe out. It’s okay, you’re okay”

She was trying to reassure you as best as she could.

“Here, take this” she took off one of her bracelets and passed it around your wrist “It’s amethyst, it helps with anxiety”

You nodded and tried your best to calm down. You didn’t know if the bracelet was really working or if it was just a placebo, but it made you feel better.

“Thank you” you finally said

“No problem!” the girl replied

You took a moment to look at her. She was really pretty, her eyes were the same color as yours, but they suited her better.

“I’m Hannah, by the way! Hannah Moore” she gave you a bright smile, extending a hand for you to shake

“I’m Y/n L/n”

You shook her hand gently.

“… Do you want to talk about it? Why you were nervous?”

“Oh um… It’s a bit weird… I- last night I tried a kind of ritual with… with my girlfriend. And nothing happened, and now… I can’t find her, and I don’t recognize anyone…”

“What kind of ritual was it?”

“It was supposed to give us an answer to a question we desperately want an answer to” you quoted the book

“And… What question did you want an answer to?” she asked gently “ You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to!” she added quickly

“I um…” you hesitated to tell her; she didn’t seem to be a bad person, maybe you could risk it “I’m adopted… I’d like to know who my parents are”

“Oh… I’m sorry, I hope you get your answer…”

She took your hands and gave them a little squeeze as she spoke.

“It’s okay” you smiled “Can I borrow your phone? So I can call my girlfriend”

“Oh, sure! Here”

She handed an old Nokia. You took it, a bit surprised.

“Is something wrong?” she asked, worried

“No no, I just wasn’t expecting that kind of phone” you chuckled “I don’t know a lot of people who still use that; everyone has a smartphone now”

Hannah frowned, confused.

“A what? That’s like the newest phone you can find”

Now it was your turn to be confused. How could that be the newest phone? That was a phone only people in the 90’s and early 2000’s used.

“That’s… weird. The last time I saw that kind of phone it was when my… my parents found a box with their old things from the 90’s”

“’Old stuff’? How can it be old stuff?”

“Well the 90’s were like 30 years ago! If that’s not old stuff…”

The girl’s eyes widened at your words; it was not confusion on her face anymore, just shock. She grabbed your hand and led you away from the hallways, in her dorm. She locked the door, behind you.

“Why did you-”

“I think I know why you can’t find your girlfriend, or recognize anyone” she took a deep breath “I think… I think the ritual transported you here so you could meet your parents”

“What? But-”

“It’s not the Nevermore you know”

She handed you a newspaper, pointing at the date. 1993. You looked at her, then at the date again. The ritual sent you back in time? But how were you supposed to find your parents? There were so many people attending Nevermore!

As if she had heard your thoughts, Hannah spoke again.

“I know there’s a lot of students here… Maybe I can help you find them”

She then started mumbling and pacing around her room, looking at books on her shelves.

“If I can find a spell… maybe I could…”

She grabbed a book and opened it, looking through the pages.

“That should work” she put the book on her desk “Do you have something that belonged to your parents?”

You took a minute to think, before taking your necklace out of your shirt.

“I have this”

“Perfect! Give it to me so I can cast the spell”

You nodded and took it off. You were about to give it to her when someone knocked on the door. Hannah sighed and opened it.

“What are you doing? Everyone is worried”

Behind the door, a girl with black hair and dark eyes. She reminded you of Wednesday.

“Yes, sorry! I um… We have a little something to take care of right now… Can you tell everyone she’s sick and I take care of her?”

“We?” the girl looked behind Hannah “Oh. You’re the girl from earlier?”

You nodded and got closer to the door.

“Hi”

You smiled at the girl while she looked you up and down, trying to figure out if she saw you before. Her eyes stopped on your hands.

“That’s a beautiful ring you have here”

You looked down to your own hands. Wednesday had given you a spider ring that you wore all the time.

The girl took your hand in her to get a closer look at it, but almost as soon as she touched you, she threw her head back, eyes wide. You saw that before, when your girlfriend had visions, but you didn’t expect it to happen right now.

It lasted a second only.

“Are you okay, Morticia?” Hannah asked

You gave her a surprised look. ‘Morticia’? As in Wednesday’s mother?

She took a second to answer, a bit confused.

“Yes. I had a vision, that’s all”

“About…?”

Morticia shook her head.

“Nothing important”

She still gave you a confused look.

“I should go back, sorry to have disturbed… whatever it is you’re up to”

With that she walked away, leaving you with Hannah.

“That was… weird. It’s not the first time I see her have a vision, but this time it was… different” she mumbled “Anyways, back to finding your parents”

She smiled and held out her hand and you gave her your necklace. When she looked at it, her eyes widened. She stayed silent for a second, visibly shocked, before speaking.

“I… I don’t think the spell will be necessary…”

“What? Why?” you asked, confused

She looked back at you, and took a necklace out of her shirt. It was the exact same as yours.

“I made it myself with a spell… It’s unique, and a protection charm that can only be wore by someone from my bloodline…”

The implication took a second to travel to your brain. If what she said was true…

“… You’re my mom…?”

[Previous part] || [Next part]

#wednesday #wednesday netflix #wednesday addams #wednesday x fem reader #wednesday addams x fem reader #wednesday x reader

[yikesharringrove]

@thediktatortot sent me some song recommendations with specific harringrove-coded lyrics and I decided I wanted to write something for as many different ones as I have the juice, because I was genuinely inspired and thank you thank you friend for the recommends!

-

First Song: Lemon Boy by Cavetown

“It’s actually pretty easy being nice to a bitter boy like him, so I got myself a citrus friend.”

-

Here’s the thing about Billy Hargrove:

He’s simple. 

Everyone (all the girls) think he’s this complicated thing. This person with a million different layers and a million different faces. And, Steve guesses, that’s sorta true. 

But really, he’s kinda easy to understand. 

He needs kindness. 

There’s not much more to it than that. 

And sure, maybe the why is where the layers come in. He needs kindness because he never gets any blah, blah, blah. 

But at the end of the day, a few nice things, and he’s loyal forever. 

Steve figured it out kind of accidentally. 

Because Billy forgot his textbook in American History, and they sit alphabetically by last name in that class, and so, Steve kinda nudged his book over so that Billy could look on and wouldn’t lose any participation points that day for not being able to answer questions and read when the teacher asked, and so, it was one tiny nice thing. 

Okay, maybe it was more than one tiny nice thing. 

Because it was a chain of tiny nice things. 

Starting with the textbook, and finishing with Steve sucking Billy off in the backseat of the Camaro to “blow off some steam”.

After the textbook, came the apology. 

Half-assed, for sure, and written in scribbly, smudgy handwriting. Not signed, but clear who it’s from. 

Sorry for messing you up like that.

Steve returned it with his own note, dropped pointedly on Billy’s desk in class. 

Sorry for being weird. I promise nothing shady was going on with your sister. I get it though. No hard feelings.

Billy glanced at Steve through his lashes, and Steve was a little disappointed that Billy hadn’t forgotten his history textbook. 

The next nice thing was a coffee. 

Because Steve made himself coffee and a breakfast sandwich on the mornings he decided he didn’t care if he was late to school. 

He was driving to school, listening to an old mixtape he found at the bottom of his glovebox, and he saw Billy. Head bent low, walking along the side of the road. 

HIs hands were in his pockets, and the line of his shoulders was tense. He was all but stomping, and the clear aura of pissed off somehow didn’t deter Steve from pulling along next to him, reaching over to roll down the passenger side window. 

“Hargrove! You want a ride.”

The stomping stopped, but Billy gave no other indication that he had heard Steve. 

The BMW’s engine idled. 

“C’mon, man. It’s like three more miles to school. Lemme drive you.”

When Billy turned to get into the car, Steve was why he was keeping his head down and his shoulders around his ears. 

He had a big black shiner, a bruise covering his whole left eye. 

He sat low in the passenger seat, cranking the window back up. 

“Looks nasty.”

Billy only grunted in response.

“Car in the shop?”

Billy snorted. 

“My dad took my keys.”

Ah. 

Probably clocked him in the face, too. 

Steve’s no stranger to it, even if his dad’s more of a smacker than a puncher. He also had a weird realization that Billy’s dad must be left-handed, like Billy himself. 

Steve took his coffee out of the cup holder, passing it to Billy. 

“You look like you need this more than I do.”

The next nice thing was kinda the one that pushed them over the line. 

Over the line from acquaintances that once beat each other up to actual sort of friends. 

It was also not a nice thing Steve did.

It was one Billy did.

And Steve wasn't even there to witness it.

All he saw was the blue green bruising on Tommy H.'s jaw.

"When are you gonna learn, Tommy. Don't pick fights you can't win."

Tommy nearly snarled at Steve from the bleachers, catching himself last minute before he made a seen in front of the entire P.E. class.

Steve only smirked, and took his seat in front of Tommy.

The coach stood in front of the bored class, explaining that they'd be running laps today.

It's what they did whenever he was too hungover to actually make them so anything.

But it's fine. Steve's always been a good runner, and it means he doesn't have to think about anything or talk to anyone while he went.

He tensed when he felt Tommy lean forward behind him, getting in close to murmur in Steve's ear.

"Found yourself a new attack dog, huh, Stevie? Hargrove nearly knocked my teeth out when I called you a pussy. You givin' it up for him, too?"

"Careful, Buddy. You sound jealous."

Tommy snorted and leaned back, but Steve's gut was rolling.

Billy had taken down Tommy for saying something shitty behind Steve's back.

It made Steve's face hot.

Billy showed up twenty minutes late to P.E. He gave Coach a note, and started his laps with the rest of the class.

Steve slowed his pace to get next to him.

Billy's knuckled were a little bruised, and he had a scratch mark on his neck.

Tommy did always fight dirty.

"Heard you gave it to Tommy."

"He deserved it." Billy kept his eyes forward, his pace steady.

"Yeah. He's a toolbag."

They jogged in silence.

Steve opened his mouth to ask something, when Billy piped up.

"Are we, like, friends?"

"I think so. Unless you make a habit of beating the shit out of people for calling your non-friends pussies."

Steve caught Billy's eye and grinned. Billy's smile was reluctant and small, but Steve liked it.

"Last to finish ten laps owes the winner a milkshake." Steve clapped Billy on the back, and took off, easily weaving through the gaggle of junior girls walking in front of them.

"Harrington, you bastard!"

#steve harrington #billy hargrove #harringrove #yikes writes #past stommy #hope you like it! my writing style has changed so much lately and this one really made me realize it

[mint-yooxgi]

{5} - Fight or Flight - Yandere!Redcap!Mingi X Tall!Chubby!Reader

Fae!AU & Yandere!AU - Part of the CoDN Thrill of the Hunt Collab

Genre: Fantasy, Mature, Horror, Angst, Fluff, Smut

Pairing: Mingi X Reader

Words: 7,445

Rating: Mature - 18+ MDNI

Warnings: Please read the warnings carefully, as this is a very heavy story dealing with many dark topics. This is also all of the warnings for this fic as it is one long one shot that I had to split into multiple parts, and I'm too tired right now to individually categorize all of these warnings to their respective parts. 8 ft tall Mingi. Slow burn. Violence: depiction of a massacre, a deer being slaughtered, as well as physical, verbal, sexual, and emotional, both alluded to and not. Blood and gore. Abuse: physical, emotional, verbal, and sexual, both alluded to and implied. Assault: physical, and sexual, both alluded to, implied, and attempted. OC has a really rough past, really this isn't for the faint of heart. Whipping, both alluded to, and done. Mentions of branding. Heavy themes of possession and ownership. Deception. Arson. Really, there's a lot of dark subject matter. Mingi falls hard and fast, thus, he simps a lot for the OC, but it's not a story written by me if Mingi doesn't simp for the OC. The reader is mentioned to be both tall and chubby, but it is not mentioned often, so it shouldn't disrupt the flow of the story when ready if you are not tall and/or chubby. I think that's everything, but if I missed something, please let me know! Smut: Biting/marking, outdoor sex, fingering (fem. rec), oral (fem. rec), hand job (male rec), come eating, overstimulation, Mingi has a dig bick, sex in a spring, really, it's very soft in comparison to the subject matter. This is a Yandere story, it will contain themes such as stalking, violence, obsession, possessive natures, and just general overall creepiness and swearing. You have been warned.

P.S. If there are any spelling or grammatical errors, please ignore them. I did my best through many rounds of editing, but some are liable to still slip through.

A/n: I am SO sorry this took me LITERALLY forever to complete. I meant to have this out so much earlier, and actually posted on time, but it turned out much, much longer than I ever anticipated it being. I'm really proud of how this story turned out, and I didn't want to split it into multiple parts because I felt it would take away from the story as a whole. I'm super excited for you all to read this one, as I had a tremendous amount of fun writing it, and I really hope you all love Mingi's and OC's journey as much as I do. Huge shoutout and thanks to @anyamaris and @kwanisms for listening to me ramble and rave about this story both before and during the writing process, and for always encouraging me while writing! Also, huge thank you to @sanjoongie for being so patient and understanding with me as I write this all out in full. I hope you all enjoy! As always feedback is greatly appreciated! Enjoy!~

Summary: Out of one horrible situation and into another, the cycle of abuse never stops. You've lived with monsters your whole life. So, what's one more?

P.P.S. Please don't let this flop guys. If you enjoyed it, please reblog!!!

Mini Masterlist - Part One - Part Two - Part Three - Part Four

“Mingi?” the soft call of his name from you catches his attention two days later.

Clouds cover the vast expanse of the sky as far as the eye can see, casting a muted hue over the surrounding forest. The day is dreary, and it almost looks as if it might rain.

The redcap hums in response, turning his head in your direction as you walk side by side through the woods.

“I have a question.” Your voice is a bit meek, hands fiddling with the hem of your sleeves almost nervously.

Mingi thinks it subconscious on your part, but your limp is a bit more prominent today than it has been before. That, or maybe it’s just the weather.

“You know you can ask me anything, Blossom,” he smiles encouragingly at you. 

At your hesitance, he pauses mid-step. Turning fully to you, he notices how you seemed to have stopped walking for a brief moment, so he’s quick to close the distance between you.

Slight worry tugs at his features as he sees how uncertain you seem to be. “Don’t be shy, Blossom. Ask away.”

“What’s-“ you begin to say, only to catch yourself. Your mouth opens and closes, a slight furrow to your brow. Then, you’re taking a small breath in, eyes squeezing shut as you rush out, “What’s a claim?”

Mingi’s breath hitches, caught off guard by the type of question you ask. He would have never expected it from you. At least, not yet. The only time claims have been mentioned around you, as far as he knows, was when-

“I was thinking about things, and I remember those other fae from the tavern mentioning something about it-“

“Those fae would have died if they ever tried to force something like that upon you.” His tone is suddenly harsh, a scowl pulling at his features.

Your eyes widen in surprise, not having expected him to react this way. A fact which only serves to make you more confused and unsure of things than you already are.

You shrink back into yourself, picking intently at the sleeve of your shirt. “I’m sorry if I upset you.”

“No, Blossom,” Immediately, he’s kneeling before you, taking your face into his hands gently. “Please don’t misunderstand. A claim is meant to be reserved for those that share the deepest of feelings for one another. It’s a way to say that we belong to each other, and bond us together. What they wanted to do to you-“ his voice catches, and his fingers press a little firmer into your skin, but not enough to hurt, “They would have defiled you, and made you into their possession with a mark like that. You- you would have been marked for ownership, not what these claims are actually intended for.”

“What are claims for?” The words are but a soft inquiry upon your lips, blinking at him mildly. There’s a creeping sense of unease that builds within you from his words, worry gnawing at your stomach.

Your ankle begins to throb.

Mingi takes a shaky breath in as he stares deeply into your eyes. “Love.”

His response catches you off guard. “Love?”

“In this realm, we fae bite each other to display our emotions. It is meant to showcase a deep connection between the recipient and the giver, and each mark is unique to the bite of the fae giving it.” He explains softly. “The mark protects the bearer by stating that they belong to the fae that gives them the bite.”

Your heart drops heavily into your stomach. “Belongs?”

“Unfortunately, fae aren’t the only recipients of such marks.” Mingi frowns, looking to the side as if getting lost in his own thoughts. “Where humans are involved, many fae use these marks to designate a mortal being their property. Once marked, no other fae can harm or touch a human recipient of the bond. It’s the same for marked fae: it goes against the code of a claim.”

“Property?” Your voice rises in pitch, tears springing to your eyes at the implications.

Those fae were going to… No, you shouldn’t think like that. However, that is much more easier said than done.

“Normally, a claim is shared by all parties involved, but those unlucky enough to be claimed by another fae in such a way never get a choice in the matter.” He continues, his hands sliding from your cheeks and down to your shoulders. “The marks are always displayed on the neck. That’s the only way to tell if one has been claimed or not.”

The way his fingers caress the side of your throat has you shuddering beneath his touch, that sense of dread sitting like a rock in your chest. You can hardly hear him over the sound of your racing heart, skin prickling as your mind screams at you to get away from him. To get away from the now imminent threat.

Instinct kicks in, and you are forced to stand there, frozen to your spot as you feel your body shutting down. Once again, you prepare for the inevitable to come.

“Marking someone like this is meant to be a sacred bond between lovers,” his eyes hood over, staring intently at the way his fingers caress the skin of your neck. “I…” His tongue darts out to wet his lips, and you catch a glimpse of those razor sharp fangs lining the inside of his mouth.  “I wish to claim you with a mark of my own someday.”

Time stills around you as you stop breathing. You can feel your skin heating beneath his touch, and suddenly, it’s as if he’s burning you wherever his fingers rest upon your skin. Your throat closes, and tears spring to your eyes, body beginning to tremble uncontrollably beneath his touch.

“No!” Your voice is shrill as you shove him away, scrambling backwards frantically to put some much needed distance between the both of you.

To say Mingi is shocked would be an understatement. Though you physically do not move him, the way you push him away causes his heart to squeeze painfully in his chest.

The worst part is, he doesn’t understand why. He would never force a claim on you. On anybody for that matter.

“Not again!” Your eyes shine with terror as you fall backwards, landing with a harsh thud on the ground. “I’m not your property!”

Mingi’s heart drops, his expression falling as pained disbelief pulls at his features. 

He reaches for you. “No, Blossom, that’s not-“

“You can’t own me again!” Your visage is akin to a frightened animal, scrambling desperately away from him as he stands back to his full height. “I- I- I won’t let you!”

“I don’t want to own you, Blossom-“

Again, Mingi tries to speak, but right now, you’re inconsolable. Each step he takes towards you only makes you sob harder, and he is once more reminded of the way you attempted to flee him after he killed that deer.

His chest tightens, heart aching within.

“I thought you were different,” you’re passed the point of listening, too caught up in your own sense of panic to understand any reason. A harsh sob wracks your body. “I believed you could be different.”

“Blossom, what’s-“

“You’re no different than my husband.” The simple phrase you hiss out freezes Mingi right in his tracks.

Thoughts race through his head at the speed of light, connecting every little instance he’s had with you together. Is this why you’re so guarded? Is this why you flinch whenever there’s a loud noise? Is this why you cowered away from him, why you’re currently cowering away from him?

Mingi swears his heart has stopped. An immense anger begins to flood his veins at the thought of anyone bringing you harm, let alone someone who is supposed to care for you. He may not know a lot about humans, but he knows enough to understand what marriage is supposed to mean. He’s always equated a proper claim in this realm to marriage in your own, so to learn that someone has already taken advantage of you in such a way makes him see red.

Still, he tells himself to calm down. To control himself, so as to not scare you any more that you already are. He promised never to hurt you, to protect and care for you in any and every way he can, and he intends to do just that.

Right now, you need him, and that is far more important than any blinding rage he could ever feel. He needs to get a reign on his emotions, lest he do something that he will come to regret.

Your next words knock the wind right out of him.

“You men are all the same.”

In the blink of an eye, Mingi has you pinned to a tree by your throat. His lips are pulled back in a snarl, his gaze sharp as his dark eyes nearly bore a hole through your skull.

“I am not a man.” His gaze is absolutely wild, claws pricking at the skin of your neck as his chest heaves. 

Your hands come up to grasp at his own around your throat, eyes wide as your heart thunders in your chest.

The idea that you could so much as imply he is anything like the man that could treat you in such a way sends Mingi spiralling. Rage bubbles beneath the surface of his skin, and he subconsciously tightens his grip around your neck. Gone is the fae who was attempting to make you understand, and calm you down. Right now, all that stands before you is the fearsome, ruthless general that everyone makes him out to be. 

“Do it.” Your eyes are wide, desperately pleading with him as you stare into his own.

His nose crinkles, and he bares his teeth in disgust.

“You humans get turned on by the weirdest of things.” He spits the words out, shoving himself off of you and purposely taking a few steps back.

You expression falls, more tears gracing the skin of your cheeks as you collapse onto your knees. “Coward.”

You were this close. This close to finally escaping the hell you’ve been living in all your life, and he’s went and taken that away from you, too.

Mingi’s nostrils flare, eyes sharpening as he stares down at your form crumpled at the base of that tree. His lungs burn, chest heaving with each breath he takes as he clenches his hands into fists at his sides to keep them from shaking.

You swallow, lifting a shaking hand to your throat. “I guess fae can lie.”

Devastated doesn’t even begin to describe the state of Mingi’s heart as he hears you utter those words. His expression falls, the anger simmering to a low boil as he takes a step towards you.

You notice, but your scent surprisingly doesn’t spike in fear. No. All Mingi can sense from you is pain.

“You should be scared of me.” The comment is stated so softly, so casually, that is causes you to blink in shock. “I should terrify you.”

You remain silent, pursing your lips in response.

“I could break every single bone in your body.” He states, taking a tentative step forward while keeping a gentle tone. “I could tear you limb from limb without even batting an eye.”

Your eyes stare blankly at the ground, shoulders curling in on yourself as your hands support your weight. Almost subconsciously, your nails dig into the dirt beneath your fingertips, throat working as you sit there, as still as stone.

“I would have been delighted to skin you alive,” he continues, stopping just short of where you rest upon the ground. “To feast on your flesh as I did so, and make you watch as I carved my victory into your skin.”

A blink, and more tears spill from your eyes onto your cheeks. Your eyes are vacant, the shine that had been growing over the past few days completely gone. You barely even register Mingi coming to kneel before you. It’s only when he gently tilts your chin upwards using the tips of his fingers that you notice just how close he’s gotten to you once more.

“I could have killed you, that much is true.” His tone is soft. Possibly the softest he’s ever used while speaking with you. “But, I don’t want to. I cannot bring myself to want to harm you. Not anymore.”

Though your gaze is locked on his, there is no light behind your eyes. No spark of recognition, either. You don’t even register his words, your entire body going numb as your mind shuts down.

This is the end. You’ll make damn sure of it.

“Are you listening to me, Blossom?” He shifts closer, and he notices how you begin to shake violently. “I-“

“But yet, you want to own me.” Your voice is harsh, spitting the words out like venom on your tongue.

“No, Blossom, I-“

“Why can’t you just kill me?” Your hands ball into fists, nails leaving indents in the dirt as they scrape across the ground. There is a pain held within your gaze, swirling together with the anger that begins radiating off of you in waves. “You said there’s nothing you wouldn’t do for me. So, just kill me.”

Mingi’s eyes go wide, lips parting as he stares at you in shock. His heart feels as if it’s being suffocated in his chest, and the fingers he uses to support your chin with begin to tremble.

“Go ahead, General!” The title you spit out only serves to mock him. “Tear me to pieces! Render my flesh from my bones, and bathe your band in my blood! Carve my heart out of my chest after breaking every single bone in my body! Hurry up, and get it over with, and then just fucking kill me!”

His fingers fall from your skin, hands hanging limply at his sides as a single tear begins to trail a path down his cheek.

“You want to know why I’m not scared of you, General?” You’re hysterical at this point, shrill voice shrieking through the emptiness of the woods around you. “You want to know why I don’t fear you?”

Mingi blinks, and another tear spills down his cheek. His whole body shakes violently as you continue to scream in his face.

“I’ve already suffered through hell every single fucking day of my life ever since I was brought into this world. So, what’s one more?” Tears stream uncontrollably down your cheeks, and you inhale a stuttering gasp. “All I want is for this stupid fucking cycle to end, but you won’t even grant me that! I guess I should be fucking used to it by now. I never get what I want. Always- always, always, always, I’ve only ever lived to serve other people. A stupid means to a stupid fucking end.”

Your voice is harsh as you spit the words out, and all Mingi can do is watch as you fall apart right before his very eyes.

“You really are no different than my husband.” Bitterness coats every inch of your tone. That is, until a humourless laugh is falling from your lips. “No, actually, he was much worse. Because instead of just baseless threats, he would actually put some action behind them.”

The growl that tears from Mingi’s throat is pure animalistic. His gaze hardens as his hands clench into fists in his lap, chest heaving as the rage boils beneath the surface of his skin once more.

“You want to know why I’m not scared of you, General?” You repeat your question from earlier, gaze sharp as you look towards him through narrowed eyes. “It’s because I’ve already survived much worse than you.”

Mingi can feel the familiar prick of his nails digging into his palms, blood beginning to drip through his clenched fingers and onto the earth between the two of you.

“There is nothing for me here, except pain and servitude.” Your voice trembles with the weight of your words, and you furiously wipe at your cheeks. The dirt from your hands smudges against your skin, but you don’t even seem to notice. “So, hurry up, and get it over with. I don’t have anything to live for, anyways.”

His heart stops, and a numbing sense violence begins to course through his veins. His skin feels like it’s on fire, something deep within him roaring to be set free upon the pathetic excuse of a man that ever dared to call himself your husband. The need to crush this man, to tear him apart so that naught remains but chunks of flesh rendered in a bloody heap is so strong, Mingi nearly marches to the closest portal between realms to find this bastard right then and there.

“What did he do to you?” Mingi’s voice is deadly calm, the darkest look you’ve ever seen in your life residing in his eyes as he stares deeply into your own.

His question catches you off guard, blinking at him in shock at how intensely he seems to be reacting. You never thought he would care this much.

“It doesn’t matter-“

“It matters to me!” His booming voice echoes around the area, causing you to flinch in surprise. “What. Did. He. Do to you?”

You avert your gaze to the side, bitterness pulling at your features. “Why do you care?”

Without missing a beat, without any sort of hesitance, Mingi speaks, “Because, I love you.”

Instantly, your gaze darts over to his own. Your breath catches slightly in your throat, shock causing your eyes to widen ever so slightly. That is, until your expression falls.

“Yeah,” you scoff, but it comes out as more of a choked sob. “That’s what he used to say, too.”

“You don’t have to believe me,” he reaches a trembling hand out to you, caressing the side of your face gently to get you to look at him. 

As much as it pains him to see you like this, as much as he wants to go storming off to tear this man apart to satiate some of that burning rage festering deep inside of him, he cannot. You need him here, and that is what is most important right now. 

“But, I want you to know that I am.” He swallows the sudden dryness in his throat. “I am inexplicably, and irrevocably in love with you.” 

A moment of silence as his words settle over your very being.

“Desperately at that.” He adds gently, his eyes holding every bit of truth behind his words.

You turn away, suddenly looking more pained than you ever have before.

“You shouldn’t be.” Your voice is barely above a whisper. “I’m more trouble than I’m worth.”

Mingi’s expression falls at your words. His hand moves back to cradle your chin in his fingers, turning your head to face him once more. “You are worth everything to me.”

Your gaze darts up to meet his own, eyes shining with unshed tears. You know that he can hear the way you inhale sharply, your eyebrows drooping as another sob wracks your entire being.

It is then that you notice his own tears, silently streaming down his face as his fingers tremble against your skin.

“I don’t want to own you, Blossom,” he continues softly, cautiously shifting closer to you. “I have never once thought of you as my property, and I never will.”

A hand comes up to cover your mouth as you choke on another sob, shoulders shaking with the weight of your emotions.

“I am truly sorry I upset you. I should have been more careful with my words.” His thumb gently begins to brush your tears away. “I won’t lie and say that I don’t want you to become mine, but not in the way that I own you. You belong to yourself, as I belong to myself. I would never force something like that onto you.”

Your heart skips a beat involuntarily in your chest, and slowly, with every word he speaks, you begin to relax. Your shoulders are the first to lose the tension they’ve been holding onto, the rest of your body following soon after.

“I want to call you mine in the same ways I want you to call me yours.” He adds lowly, tenderly brushing the tips of his fingers over the skin of your one cheek. “We belong with each other. Together. If we are to belong to one another, then it will be mutually. Never one without the other. Never one being the other’s possession.”

Slowly, you lower the hand you have resting over your mouth. A stuttering breath wracks your chest, but with every second that passes, you continue to calm down. Your tears begin to slow, and you feel him delicately wipe away the final ones that cling to your skin.

“I will never let someone treat you like their property ever again.” His voice is a little firmer as he says this, wrapping you in his arms as he pulls you into his chest. “I will tear them apart before they can so much as even try.”

Before you can stop yourself, another sob escapes you. This time, though, you find yourself clinging onto his shirt for dear life, curling into him as he holds you close.

Gently, his one hand strokes over the top of your head, cradling you to his chest. He sits with you on the ground, rocking you softly in his arms as you rest in his lap. A place solely and purely reserved for you. Always, and forever, you.

“I only want your happiness,” his grip tightens ever so subtly around you. “You are so important to me, that I never want to risk losing you. I never wish to damage, nor taint what we have. I will not kill you. I will not dull your light that has brought me so much joy since the very first moment I saw you shine. I will, however, do everything in my power to protect you, to show you just how much value your life has. I will destroy anyone or anything that even remotely implies otherwise. You do not deserve to be fed those lies any longer.”

Your hand tightens over the material of his shirt, crying into his chest. Never before have such words been uttered to you, and you find your heart close to bursting at the sincerity you can hear in his voice alone. The fact that you can still feel his own teardrops hitting the top of your head as he speaks only serves to add to the intensity of your own emotions surrounding you in this moment.

You underestimated just how much he meant to you, how much he means to you. His words, just as his arms do, wrap around you in a comforting embrace. One which you gladly lose yourself to, finally feeling like you have everything you’ve ever needed tucked within the solace of his touch.

“I’m here,” he coos gently, cradling you so tenderly in his arms. Still, he continues to rock you back and forth as you curl up in his lap, his chin coming to rest on the top of your head. “I’m not going anywhere. Not without you by my side.”

The words that remain unspoken by him echo loud and clear through your mind.

He will not abandon you. He will not let you go where he cannot follow. Always, he is with you, and always he will care for you. Nothing is ever going to change that.

Ever so slowly, you wrap your own arms around his figure, holding onto him just as tightly as he holds onto you. In fact, you go so far as to curl around him even tighter, allowing yourself to feel everything you never have, or have been too afraid to properly acknowledge before now.

For the next hour, you allow him to hold you in his arms. The two of you cling onto one another beneath the light of the setting sun, basking in the comfort you find in the other’s embrace.

It’s soft, and tender. The only noise soon becoming the gentle hum you can feel reverberating from deep within Mingi’s chest. Such a comfort begins to calm you completely, the steady sound of his heart lulling you into a deeper feeling of total relaxation.

Never before have you felt safer, or more cared for than you do in this moment. He’s proved to you time and time again that he isn’t all that he seems to be, and for that, you couldn’t be more grateful. There is no one like Mingi to you, for he is in a league all his own.

You’re pretty sure that if you asked, he’d say that he feels the exact same about you.

Your eyes remain closed, but you do not sleep. Your thoughts continuously drift back over everything that’s just happened this evening, going over every little detail meticulously to try and find something wrong with the scene playing out before you. There must be some kind of trick, some final twist to all of this. It’s all just too good to be true. 

Either that, or you’re dreaming of a life that is all your own, again.

After a few more minutes of thorough examination, you find no fault in Mingi’s words. There is no final trick, nor sly slip of his tongue, only truth. A truth that makes your heart swell with an unfamiliar, yet pleasant warmth. A feeling that you wish to get lost in for as long as you both shall live.

Blinking your eyes open, you stare at the opposite side of the woods. There’s a slight furrow to your brows as you stare down at your lap, beginning to fiddle with your hands as Mingi rests with you against a tree.

Taking a small breath in, you steady your nerves.

“Mingi?” The call of his name is soft, barely above a whisper, yet he still hears you loud and clear.

A hum reverberates within his chest in response, his hand raising to cup the side of your face gingerly. His gaze is nothing but tender as he meets your own, thumb stroking lightly over the skin of your cheek.

“I’m sorry.” You avert your eyes to the side, shame washing over you as you recall the harsh words you spoke to him earlier in the evening. “I should have never compared you to my husband. You could never come close to being like the monster that haunts my every waking nightmare.”

Almost instantly, he shakes his head, concern marring his features.

“You have nothing to apologize for, Blossom.” He speaks evenly, keeping his voice steady; tender, but firm. “I regret ever making you believe I could even remotely do the same disgusting and vile things to you that he did. I promised to protect you, but I couldn’t even protect you from myself in such an instant.”

Now, it’s your turn to shake your head.

“I spent almost all of my life longing for death so I could escape the pain of my everyday life,” you breathe, staring intently down at your hands. “But, I don’t think I ever actually wanted to die.”

Mingi says nothing in response. Instead, he opts to take your hands into his own, bringing them up to press his lips tenderly against your skin. 

His eyes fall shut as he holds you to him, his heart aching for you. That he couldn’t do something sooner to help you is his only regret. Right now, though, he can be here for you, and then, he vows to make every day from here on out better than the last.

“I’ve been close to death so many times, I’ve lost count.” You admit lowly, your throat working as you keep your gaze locked on your hands held in his own. “Never dead. Always dying.”

Carefully, you pull your hands out of his grip, and Mingi blinks his eyes open to see you turning around slowly so that your back is now facing him. 

You kneel between his legs, sitting a bit rigidly before him. Your heart is racing erratically inside of your chest, and your palms begin to sweat. There is a sudden nervous air about you as you prepare yourself for what you’re about to do.

Taking a deep breath in, you take another terrifying leap. You know that Mingi will be right there to catch you with open arms as you begin to fall. 

With trembling hands, you pull up the back of your shirt.

Mingi’s reaction is immediate. Not only does he stiffen behind you, but a sharp inhale can be heard as his eyes fixate on your back. His hands clench into fists in his lap, seeing red once more.

Scar upon scar rests upon your flesh, the raised mounds of skin covering what once was pure. Not a single inch of you hasn’t been mutilated in some way, shape, or form, and the moment his gaze lands on a particularly large piece of marred flesh, a snarl tears from his throat.

“He branded you.”

Mingi can smell the salt from your tears as they cascade down your cheeks for the nth time this night, and he realizes that he hates the smell. He hates it when you cry, and he hates knowing that it’s because of this bastard.

“The village doctor came to know me quite well.” You smile through the pain. “As to be expected, they were friends.”

“How did…“ His voice is deep, gravelly in the way he attempts to control his anger for the moment.

“My parents sold me to him when I was sixteen. I was told I was going to have a better life.” Your hands shake as you cling to the bunched material of your shirt. “All they wanted was status, and he gave it to them at a price. They never cared about me. They only brought me here to this realm to dispose of me. If I could serve them like a slave, I could serve my husband perfectly well. I could serve them a purpose. If I can’t do that, I’m completely useless.”

Mingi purses his lips, shaking violently behind you.

“The moment I stepped through that door, I was his.” Another snarl fills the air around you, and you wrap your arms tighter around your front. “I always had too much of an attitude, and he had to discipline me for it. His favourite were the whips, but never in places people could see what damage had been done.”

All those times you flinched after snapping back at him fill his mind. The way you never complained, never fought back, never tried to run… The only time you begged for mercy was when he killed that deer. Only, now, Mingi has a strong suspicion it wasn’t actually him you were pleading with to spare you.

“I lived to serve him, to please him, and him alone.” There’s a bitter resentment lingering on the edge of your words as you spit them out harshly. A resentment that Mingi unquestionably, and undoubtably, shares. “It didn’t matter what I wanted. I had nothing. I was nothing. If I wasn’t valuable to him, I was useless, pathetic… something to satiate his boredom with whenever he desired.”

“Everything I did soon became wrong. If I brought him meals, it wasn’t served fast enough. The food I prepared wasn’t the right kind, nor was it ever good enough. If I didn’t dress a certain way he liked, he would tear my clothing and humiliate me in public. I was too fat. Too tall. If I talked back, or out of turn, I was told that I was lucky to still have my tongue.” A scowl tugs at your features as hot, angry tears spill from your eyes. “He only let me keep it so that I could please him.”

Mingi swears he stops breathing. The rage swirling within comes to a boiling point, and he cannot prevent the way his lips curl over his fangs. His claws tear into the material of his pants, the sound of shredding fabric echoing throughout the woods as he tries to maintain a grip on his control.

“I was a toy given to him to play with. A pretty little ‘Doll’ sent to obey his every command.” Your whole body shakes violently, eyes squeezing shut so as to block out the memories that threaten to drown you at any second. “He would-“ you choke on a breath. “He would-“ your chest stutters. “He would let his friends watch, then let them take turns until they were all satisfied.”

Those three fae from the tavern flit through your mind, and you are reminded once again how close you came to reliving those awful memories.

“I never had a choice,” you release the grip you have on your shirt, letting it fall gently back over your skin. It doesn’t completely cover you, for a sliver of skin still peaks out, and all Mingi can do is focus on the edge of that horrid brand still visible on your back. “Anything I tried to do for myself was met with punishment. If I overslept, I was forced to stay awake for days, cleaning the entire house to make up for lost time. If I made a meal for myself unsupervised, or if I got myself something extra from the kitchen, I was starved. The only solace I had was escaping to that field in the middle of the night to sit amongst the flowers.”

Mingi’s breath hitches in his throat as you turn to glance back at him from over your shoulder. The most devastatingly heartbroken look rests on your features as you take a shaky breath in.

“He burnt that, too.”

Another low growl slips passed Mingi’s lips as his claws dig harshly into his thighs. He cannot even begin to fathom the pain that you’ve been through, yet he uses his own in this moment to ground himself. 

He can wait. 

He will wait. 

This bastard is not living passed tonight, anyways.

“Didn’t-“ Mingi’s voice is rough, strained from the barely contained fury lingering beneath the surface. “Didn’t anyone in the village notice? Did no one try to help you?”

You let out a laugh at this, but it’s dry and anything from joyous. It sends a chill coursing straight down Mingi’s spine.

“Oh, they noticed.” Your breath stutters on a choked scoff. “Whispers. There were always whispers about what was going on, but never any action. Whispers about my situation, and how horrible it must be. I knew they all knew, but no one ever came to my aid. It’s not like they couldn’t hear my screams, I could see their looks of pity every time I walked passed them on the street. They were all complacent, and all because he was a fucking lord.”

“No one wanted to cross him.” You continue bitterly. “That, or they were already his friends. It was a small town. Besides, who would want to give up such a wonderful opportunity? It’s not like anyone would reprimand them, or care for that matter.”

A moment of silence as you sit up off of your knees to rest fully on the ground. Stretching your legs out before you, you flex your feet, a frown marring your features.

“You asked me once about my ankle,” you stare down at the limb in question, rolling it gently. “I tried to run away, once. It was in the early days, back when I still had some defiance left in me. He ensured I could never do something so stupid again.”

You can audibly hear his breathing deepen, jagged pants escaping him. Every exhale is lined with an animalistic snarl, and you notice his legs have stopped shaking on either side of you.

“That was one of the first nights he almost killed me,” you go on to say, eyes fixated on your right ankle. “He even brought a shovel with him. That’s how he broke it. I’m pretty sure he was ready to bury me alive, too.” 

You blink, your foot stilling as you rest your hands in your lap. 

“By the time he was done, he was bathed in blood. My blood.” Your eyes flutter shut, taking a shaky breath inwards. “I will never be free of him. He is the shadow I see out of the corner of my eyes. He is the figure lurking around every corner, waiting to drag me back into that hellhole any and every chance he gets. He is, and always will be, the monster that haunts my every dream.”

“So, no, Mingi, you are not a monster.” Your pained gaze shifts to look at him from over your shoulder once more. “You could never be what truly terrifies me, because I learned a long time ago that only humans have the capacity and will to be truly monstrous. They will hide in plain sight, and lure you in with a false sense of security. When you have the capability to do good, but choose not to. When you only think of yourself and your own personal gain instead of helping others when they need it. When the power you have is used to hurt others… That is what truly makes someone a monster.”

Your final words linger in the air, an unnatural silence stretching on around you. Intently, you stare down at your lap, blinking away more tears that fall with every breath.

A trembling hand placed upon your shoulder causes you to jump, and you turn your head to see Mingi leaning over you. Slowly, he leans in to press his lips against your forehead, holding himself there as you feel him trembling violently against you.

“Close your eyes, Beloved,” his voice is low as he mumbles the words against your skin. Though he tries, he barely manages to contain the burning rage lingering in his tone. “I do not wish for you to see who I’m about to become.”

For a brief moment when he pulls away, your eyes search his gaze. You can see the anger he holds within, a fury burning as brightly as the stars in the night sky. Yet, within the pits of that fire which blazes in your honour, you can still see that same tenderness he always looks at you with. 

It’s an expression which you immediately understand.

Always, your safety and well-being comes first. He will never do anything to scare you, or jeopardize the way you see him.

So, you do exactly as told. You close your eyes.

Almost instantly, you feel his presence leave your side. You can hear some soft shuffling as he crosses the short distance to the opposite side of the clearing you’ve stopped in, and it feels as if the entire world goes still.

Not even a moment later, a tremendous roar echoes throughout the forest. The sound is full of rage, and anguish, bouncing off of the surrounding trees and causing your ears to ring as you hear a flock of birds take off in the distance. You can hear trees shattering, their root groaning as they are torn violently from the ground. 

Still, you keep your eyes closed.

Snarls fill the air as branch after branch is snapped apart in his fury. Every resounding crash causes your heart to jump within your chest, but you can only find comfort in his complete desolation of the woods.

Finally, someone is fighting for you. Someone is filled with enough rage at your situation that they are actively lashing out due to the mistreatment and abuse you’ve faced. Someone who cannot fathom you ever being treated so horribly by the people who were meant to protect you.

It takes half an hour for Mingi to return to you. You can still hear his breath heaving as he fills his lungs with air, but the sounds of his destruction have long since quieted to a subtle breeze against your skin.

“You can open your eyes now, Blossom.” He says gently.

Blinking your gaze open, you rub at your eyes. Your vision is a bit foggy in the corners, but the moment it comes back into focus, you see Mingi kneeling before you. His shirt is torn in multiple spots, his hair completely disheveled. Dirt is smeared over his skin from head to toe, and you can see a few stray leaves sticking out of his blond locks.

Almost instinctively, you sit up straighter, reaching forward to tug the foliage out of his hair.

His gaze follows you the whole time, shining with adoration despite the worry on his features as he takes your hands gently into his own.

“I’m sorry you had to hear all of that,” he brings your hands up to his lips, placing a tender kiss onto the skin of your knuckles.

Cautiously, you peek around his shoulder, and a small gasp escapes you. Your wide eyes blink in shock as you see that he’s completely levelled a portion of the forest. 

Trees have been uprooted and completely decimated, splinters of wood littered across the ground. Leaves are torn asunder, branches thrown in every direction except towards where you had been sitting. There are even a few sections of earth completely bare, the dirt ripped up and scattered across the wreckage that litters the ground.

“Don’t pay any mind to that, Blossom,” he smiles assuringly at you, helping you stand to your feet. “Let’s go get cleaned up, and then I’ll find us some food.”

True to his word, Mingi leads you to a small spring. He is nothing but gentle as he guides you into the water, bathing you softly as the stars shine overhead. He doesn’t let his gaze linger, nor does it wander, and for that, you’re grateful. He treats you like a person, which is more than you can say about how you’ve always been treated by your own kind.

With him, there are no expectations. You are free to just be.

He truly is the most respectful creature you have ever met, and when he catches you staring at his chest for a little longer than you should, he doesn’t comment on it. Instead, all that greets your ears is a soft chuckle and a fond smile.

A little while later, he’s helping you out of the spring, and back into your clothes. He seems to have somehow gotten a completely new set, along with your own, but when you ask him about it, he simply smiles in response.

“Rest here, Beloved,” he places a tender kiss to your forehead. “I will be back shortly with some food.”

Like always, Mingi is true to his word. It takes him no time at all to return with various fruits and nuts, feeding you eagerly as you sit in his arms. He even managed to find you another stem of red spider lilies to replace the last one that you lost earlier in the day.

He doesn’t seem to eat as much tonight, but he brushes off your worry when you comment on it. You, of course, don’t push, figuring it might be a fae thing, or possibly something about his emotions affecting his appetite.

What he does do, however, is brew you a special tea. It’s made from a specific flower that you vaguely recall hearing about back in your hometown. Besides, you trust him, and it’s not like he’s going to abandon you, or poison you. He already said he would do neither, and you believe him.

“Drink this, My Blossom,” he hands you the canteen carefully, making sure not to spill its contents over your lap. “It’ll help you sleep. I want you to rest thoroughly after the day you’ve had.”

Once the tea is finished, and the food is all gone, you end up curling into his side just like the night before. The embers of the dying fire glow beneath the darkness of the night sky, and you feel completely safe wrapped in Mingi’s arms. No chill settles in your bones, nor discomfort at laying on the ground, either. 

It’s been quite a long time since you’ve been this content, this relaxed.

Surrounded by the warmth of Mingi’s embrace, you fall asleep, and for the first time in forever, no monsters haunt your dreams.

#thrill of the hunt #cultofdionysusnet #mfu net #yandere mingi #yandere ateez #yandere kpop #yandere au #mingi scenario #mingi imagines #ateez scenarios #ateez imagine #kpop scenario #kpop imagine #kpop au #ateez au #fantasy au #fae au #chubby reader #tall reader

[a-small-writer-in-a-big-world]

Hello hello! Got another request if you don’t mind! How would the 141 react to the femmilitary reader having a big family? Like she has a mum and dad, aunts and uncles and lots of cousins, and their all wholesome. Like the ultimate wholesome family?

Thank you ! 🏡👨‍👩‍👧👨‍👩‍👦‍👦👩‍👦👨‍👩‍👧‍👦

As someone who comes from a big family, this is something I can easily write about lol

Also sorry this took me forever ❤️

How Do They React to Reader who has a big family

Price

When he first found out about your big family it was bittersweet

On one hand, he liked that you had a family you could rely on when you went home. He knows that a lot of the people he works with don't and that having a support system that you can fall back onto is great

On the other hand, it meant that if anything happened to you, there would be a lot of heartbreak

He makes it his mission that you return safely for this reason

He probably ask about all of them, how your nieces/nephews are doing in school, how your siblings are, what your parents are doing. He's curious

If you show him pictures he'll be happy to see them

Won't be nervous to meet your family, he knows so much about them that he has so much to talk about

Would probably help whoever is grilling if it's a cookout

If there are any nieces/nephews who are kids they're going to love him so much he's going to be stolen away by them but he doesn't mind

He's actually really good with kids and will be the best person to tire them out for the parents

Shares obscure stories with your parents, uncles and aunts

He fits in really well with your family and when the visit is over you'll probably gets texts telling you to bring him around again

Ghost

He honestly finds it hard to understand how someone can have that big of a family but he's not that intimated by it

Much like Price, he becomes a lot more aware of your safety and takes extra precautions to make sure that you make it back to base with minimal or no life threatening injuries

Won't really ask about them unless you mentioned something about them offhandedly, then he'll want you to elaborate

He does like when you show him pictures though since he likes putting a face to the names you give him

He'll be a little nervous about meeting your family, being the natural introvert he is and what he would have to do about wearing a mask in front of everyone, even when you assured him that no one would make fun of him

He will probably try to stay in the less traffic/popular areas, though it's a little difficult with that many people

He will make small talk with anyone who tries to talk to him though, he's not rude, he's just a little bit overwhelmed

Eventually he will warm up and that when your nieces/nephews strike

They'll have him do anything and everything, parading him around as their pack mule for toys and showing him around the house. He's not going to question it at all, he's going to do what they tell him to.

Ends up getting a little sad because he gets reminded of his own family, but holds out until the event is over

Will get emotional if you tell him your family likes having him around and wants him to come back, but it'll take him a while to feel accepted just due to his own distance he puts between your family and him

Soap

Oh this guy is so happy to know you have a big family

He wants to everything about them and even friends a bunch of them on Facebook because he's nosy and likes to be in the know of what's going on in your life and your families

Will never stop asking about them. He's so excited to learn about what's going on and if you don't know he will most definitely found out by sleuthing through social media for it

Love seeing pictures. Please show him pictures

Lowkey accidental lives vicariously through you since he rarely ever sees his family or hears from them so getting to know all about them makes him feel a lot less lonely

Not nervous to meet your family, in fact he shows up like he's known them his entire life and your family greets him the same way

Gets along with everybody, he's got this charm to him that just wins people over

Jokes a lot with the adults and never fails to have stories to tell them that make them laugh. When he starts talking they all listen because they want to know what he's going to say but he's also just loud

Gets really into the family games

Price may tire the kids out but Soap puts them to bed with how much energy he's able to get out of them. He's really proud about it

Your family definitely wants him around and he might even visit them when you're not there. He's just that comfortable

Gaz

Ever heard of the phrase "Parents love him"? Yeah that's him

Was honestly surprised to learn you came from a huge family but is super curious about them nonetheless

He gives me only child vibes idk why so he's always willing to listen to how the family dynamics are within yours

Will ask about them a moderate amount and genuinely listens when you tell him what's going on

Probably friends a few of them on Facebook too

Likes pictures, thinks it's really sweet when he sees them

Nervous to meet your family but once they greet him with open arms all of it goes away and he feels right at home with them

Becomes the one that will do anything that needs to be done

Food needs to be moved? You got it. Things need to be carried? You don't have to ask him twice. Need help setting up tables? He's already doing it.

Talks with everyone but mostly connects with your cousins since they're most likely similar in age. He even manages to get some juicy gossip from them because he can be persuasive

The kids like to use him much like Ghost but they force him to actually play games and toys with them

He's happy to know that your family wants him back while your family wants you to marry him as quick as you can since he's so sweet

Hope you like! Sorry again for how long it took me to get to it.

#simon ghost riley x reader #captain john price x reader #john soap mctavish x reader #kyle gaz garrick x reader #simon ghost riley #mw2 ghost #cod ghost #ghost mw2 #captain john price #cod price #mw2 price #soap mw2 #soap cod #mw2 soap #john soap mactavish #gaz mw2 #cod gaz #mw2 gaz

[venusianelf]

Troublemaker

Pairing: Platonic! Jason Todd x Young! Reader

Genre: Fluff, Established Frienship

Summary: Young Y/N is friends with Jason. Reader gets into a troublesome fight at school and Jason is there to help. Warnings: Canonic level of violence, Bullying

Word Count: ~900

Request: But I was hoping to ask for a jason todd x reader (but it's platonic bc reader is younger (if thats ok) and they're just friends). But the reader is kinda like a gremlin child (short, shot tempered, loud, always doing parkour, not afraid to get into a fight). And one day they get into an unfair fight with her school bullies, so jason kinda had to come and request them? (Que jason lecturing her on why she shouldn't get into fights as if he's not a vigilante)

A/N: Sorry for taking forever to write this! I hope it’s good enough. Also thank you for 200 followers! Pic from pinterest. Enjoy the fanfic!

The sun set over the tall buildings spanning across your view. You sat at the top of your parent’s apartment complex as you saw a familiar red helmetted figure head towards you. “Hey, how’s things been kiddo?” He asked moving to sit next to you. “It’s been alright,” You shrugged as you turned to glance at him as he removed his helmet and put it aside. “That’s fair, well I brought you a slushie, it’s your favorite flavor,” He replied handing you a drink. “Thanks, Jay,” You smiled at him as you took it from it. 

Taking a sip of it, and sure enough it was your favorite flavor. You were glad you had this friendships with Jason. He always cheered you up on your worst days and offered some semi-questionable advice always ready for you. Not that you cared if it was questionable, as you yourself were a questionable figure. Your school definitely didn’t like you as you had no problem standing up for yourself even if you erred on the side of being a little reckless. 

Finishing off your slushie with sun now fully set, you put your cup down and leaned on Jason. “I wish I could go out vigilanting like you,” You huffed as he chuckled. “Maybe when you’re older kiddo. It is dangerous work, yknow,” He replied as you pouted. “I know but I’m pretty sure I could handle it,” You retorted as he sighed and ruffled your hair. “I’m sure you could, but it’s better to not go looking for trouble, trust me,” He said a little solemnly as paused before nodding. Maybe when you were older you could more thoroughly convince him. 

“Alright well, speaking of, I need to get back on duty,” He spoke as he moved to put his helmet back on. “Okay, I’ll see you later then!” You replied as you moved to stand up. “Yup, see you then,” He replied as you waved at him and he gave a wave back. “Bye!” You called out to him as he set off. Turning around you picked up your cup and headed back inside to your parent’s apartment.

The next day, you were at school and eating lunch outside when a group of people who you stood up to recently decided today was the day to fuck with you. You watched observingly as they stalked towards you. “You wanna apologize for your words punk?” One of them called out as you put down your food and gave them a questioning glance. “Why would I?” You replied as you shrugged. “Pff, look at this loser trying to be tough,” One of them chuckled before another shoved your shoulder. “Hey! Apologize or do you want to be taught a lesson?” He shouted as you raised an eyebrow at him. 

“Seems like you need a lesson in hygiene,” You retorted before trying to go back to your meal. “Alright, that’s it,” He called before pushing you to the ground. Sighing you pushed yourself up as the four circled you. One punched you in the face which you wiped away with your hand. You threw practiced punches and kicks at them and managed to get some good blows in but there were too many of them. For every blow you landed, two more landed on you.

That is until you saw a wash of red above the school. You grinned knowing who it was as the group questioned you. “Why’re you smiling loser?” “Do you like being shown your place, huh?” They shouted. “No, they’re just happy to see a friend,” Jason called out as they turned towards him and saw his iconic red helmet. “Oh shit,” One of them mumbled. “Indeed, oh shit,” He replied stepping towards them. As he did one of three of the kids ran away to a safe distance but the leader just stared at him with unwavering eyes.

Quickly grabbing you in a lock the kid stared at him and squeezed your throat tightly. “Go home, this is between us,” He called out to Jason as he cocked his head at the kid. “Yeah, no,” He replied shortly before throwing a disarming blow to the kid. The boy stumbled back after he let go off you and clutched his injury. “Now run off,” Jason called as the kid seethed but listened and ran off to his friends. 

Once the kids were out of sight, he turned to you. “Are you alright?” He asked as he looked your over for any major injuries. “Just a few scrapes and brusises,” You shrugged. “That’s better than anything worse but you should still get those looken at,” He replied as you huffed. “If you say so,” You responded as he put his hand on your shoulder. “I do say so, and you really shouldn’t be taunting them like you were. It’s best to avoid conflict when possible,” He scolded as you chuckled.

“You were there for that huh?” You asked as he sighed and nodded. “Yes but this isn’t any laughing matter. You could’ve been seriously hurt,” He replied as you gave him a smirk. “That’s why you’re here aren’t you? To keep that from happening?” You teased. “Still. Try to stay out of it next time,” He said sternly. “Fine, fine, I promise,” You replied holding your hands up in mock defense. 

“Now what do you say to getting a quick check up and some ice cream? I’m sure I can get you back before anyone notices you’re gone,” He offered as you smiled up at him. “That sounds great Red,” You replied.

#jason todd x reader #jason x reader #jason todd x you #jason x you #jason todd x y/n #jason x y/n #red hood x reader #red hood x you #red hood x y/n #batfam x reader #jason todd imagine #jason imagine #red hood imagine #batfam imagine #jason todd fanfic #jason fanfic #red hood fanfic #batfam fanfic #dc fanfic #young reader #young y/n #child reader #child y/n #platonic pairing

[arcaneauthor]

I love your writing so much, if it wouldn't be too much trouble could do you something where Ghost and the reader get tattoos together

(kinda like the story where the 2 got tattoos for each other without the other knowing but this time they decide to get one together?)

If not thats 100% okay and I hope you have an Amazing day!

Warnings: None? Needles I guess? But it’s not described. Fluffffff

A/n: Sorry this took so long, my motivation has been 📉 lately. But thank you so much for the kind words and amazing request❤️ Hope you like it! Also this is technically a part 3 to my other story but can be read as a standalone.

-$-

“Would you get another one?” He asks suddenly one day as their sitting at the table, a deck of cards in hand.

Yes you know having poker be your date night activity is strange, but your relationship wasn’t exactly anyones definition of “normal” to begin with. But it was your normal. So, yes, sitting at the table on a Friday night with a group of playing cards in one hand and a take out taco in the other was your definition of a good time, sue you.

You look up from your deck at his question, he still hadn’t looked up from his, “What?”

“A tattoo. Would you ever get another one?” He questions, leaning back in his seat, eyes finally connecting to yours.

“I-I mean I’m not- opposed to the idea, if I found the right one.” You’re still not sure of the meaning of this. The question was so sudden

He hums, nodding his head. Eyes gazing back down at his cards, as if they held all the answers.

You raise an eyebrow, “why?” You drawl out.

He shrugs,“Curious.” Is all you get as response before he stands up, throwing his deck down on the table, “I win.” He proclaims in in a baritone voice, then promptly turns to step out of the room. Your eyes following him in total confusion.

They then flick down to his discarded hand.

A royal flush.

That bastard.

Shaking your head slightly, you can’t help but let a fond smirk overtake your face as your ears catch onto the sound of water pittering against the shower floor.

Your boyfriend, the man of many words.

-$-

About a week later.

“Are we there yet?”

Simon sighs in annoyance, the hand not on the steering wheel rubbing his temple, “You’re not bloody five years old, stop asking me that.”

You give him a pouty lip just for show,”But we’ve been driving forever.”

“Twenty minutes. We’ve drove for twenty minutes.”

That short?… really?

“Well how the heck am I supposed to know that, I can’t d*mn well watch the clock now can I?” You question rhetorically as you lightly tug on the blindfold secured around your eyes for emphasis.

He lightly swats your hand away,”Don’t touch it.”

You huff indignantly, but do lower your hand,”Can you at least tell me where we’re going?”

“No.”

“Oh come on.”

Simon huffs, that seems to be a reoccurring thing for him the last twenty minutes, “Impatient little thing.”

You could’ve swore you heard some fondness in that sentence.

-$-

Around, what you assume to be, ten minutes later, you feel Ghost’s truck gently pull to a stop. Slightly jostling the both of you as you hear the gear shift click into park.

You sit up in your seat,”Are we there?”

“Yes.”

“Oh thank gosh. Can I please take this off now?” You point towards the blind fold,”I don’t know how you wear that mask 24/7, this thing is killer.”

“It’s not that bad.” You can hear his seatbelt click and the sound of his old Ford door creaking open.

“Wait! Can I take this thing off or not?”

“Almost.” The truck shifts as he steps out. Giving a slight rock at the absence of Simon’s massive body weight.

The door shutting cuts off any response you had. For a short split second you think he’s left you, until he opens your door. Ever the gentleman.

You unbuckle and twist around, legs hanging out the door. Now how are you going to do this blind? You try wiggling your foot around, but can’t feel anything but air.

“Uh- could you like guide me to-“

You cut yourself off with a squeal as, without a word, you’re swept out of your seat. Simon picking you up in a bridal carry, one hand under your thighs, the other around your back, as you rap your hands around his neck in a panic.

“Simon-!”

“Every girl wants to be treated like a princess at least once, don’t they?” You can physically hear his smirk.

It’s embarrassing how much that made your heart flutter.

“You could at least warn me first!”

“Then I wouldn’t get to hear that cute little squeak.” He gives a deep chuckle

You’d never admit to the extent of redness that your cheeks turned to.

You’d also never admit how much you like the feeling of his large hands gripping tightly to the bare skin of your thighs. The gentle scrape of his calisced fingers being almost therapeutic. For such a large man, his hold is surprisingly gentle, always is when he’s touching you. Never wanting to bring you any semblance of pain.

Even after all this time, his touch never fails to raise your skin into goosebumps.

“Alright,” his words bring you back from your touch induced daze,”We’re here.” He sets you back onto your feet, your hands lingering around his neck a little longer than necessary.

“Allow me.” You feel his hands reach around the back of your head, fiddling with the knot.

The blindfold slips loose easily underneath his skilled fingers.

Your eyelashes flutter open now that the obscurity is out of the way. Though you’re forced to immediately scrunch them back closed as the light floods your corneas, leaving colorful spots dancing across the back of your eyelids. It’s only after a few tries that you can actually see anything then just a bright white. Vision finally clearing, you take in your surroundings, particularly the building with a big neon sign atop it.

It’s-

It’s-

The tattoo parlor?

You flick your curious eyes from the sign to Ghost. His face, the upper half that’s not obscured by the black surgical mask, almost looks, dare you say, nervous. Well, maybe not fully nervous, but, slightly unsure of himself?

“Wha-what are we doing here exactly?”

“Well-uh- I thought that, maybe we could get tattoos?”

“But-we already have tattoos?” He made the big deal of blindfolding you, and hauling your a** out of the car to,,get more tattoos. You’d accompanied him to this place multiple times, what’s different now?

“I meant like, together?”

It takes your brain an embarrassingly long time to catch on, your period of silence making Simon’s hesitation only grow.

“Ohhhhh, you mean like-like a couples tattoo.” You feel your smile start to grow as you grab his arm, pulling on it in excitement like a kid in a candy store.

Ghost’s hesitation seems to all but disappear in the face of your happiness, his eyes softening as he observed your childish antics.

“Yeah.” He finally responds breathily, before he remembers something,”I’ve gotta’ picture of the stencils if you wanna-“ He reaches towards his back pocket, though your hand over his stops him. He look up into your eyes, which are shining with love and joy.

“I’m sure whatever you have in mind is perfect.” You lean up on your tiptoes to give him a sweet peck on the cheek,”Thank you.”

You could’ve swore you saw his cheeks turn a little pink, though he doesn’t let you observe him for long before he’s clearing his throat, turning his face away.

He offers his hand to you in invitation,”Ready?”

You smile, placing your hand in his,”Yep!”

-$-

You both take turns since Ghost refuses to use any of the other artists besides Jackson. And refuses to let you use anyone else. Says he trusts him the most, with his whole identity thing and to not hurt you.

Simon won’t even let you in the room during his session, saying that he wants to reveal it after they’re both finished. He sits by your side during your tattooing, holding your hand and making sure you don’t look before it’s finished. Even rubs his hand over your arm when you wince, whispering a little “You got this princess” in your ear.

Jackson wipes the remaining ink residue from your lower arm,”Alright, looks like we’re finished!” He begins cleaning up his tools.

You and Simon turn to look at one another.

“You wanna see em’?” He asks.

You give him a deadpan expression,”No, I wanna wait another hour. Of course I wanna see!” You excitedly sit up on the bench

He fondly shakes his head, and when he speaks, you can hear the smile, “Alright, close your’ eyes for a moment.” An order you immediately comply with.

You hear rustling and then a slight ripping sound, which you assume is him tearing the bandage from his own tattoo if Jackson’s chastisements are anything to go by. Chastisements that Simon, of course, answers with a quick “Stop your bloody worrying, it’ll be fine”

You feel him grab your arm, careful around the tender area, and pull it up in front of you, placing it beside of his.

“You can look.”

You eyes flutter open, even though in the dim parlor lights you’re not nearly as blinded as when you removed the blindfold earlier, it still takes a second for shapes to register. When they do, your gaze immediately latches on to the two arms displayed in front of you. Your breath hitches.

“You like em’?” And there’s that unsureness again. Rearing it’s head in the face of your prolonged silence.

You look at him, eyes hesitant to leave Jackson’s masterpieces, “Like them? I love them!”

You basically tackle him in a hug, again, being careful with your arm, and almost fall off the bench from the momentum. Ghost lets out a little huff of amusement as he catch’s your weight with his other arm, “They’re perfect. Thank you.” You lean back enough to look at him.

He bumps his forehead lightly against yours,”Anything for you, sweetheart.”

The endearment makes you heart jump, a soft smile lighting your face. Every single thing this man does, makes you fall farther and farther in the depths of love.

“Can we please cover them now?” Jackson exclaims from the other side of the room, holding up a roll bandages.

You both burst out in giggles.

#simon ghost riley x you #simon riley #simon ghost riley #simon ghost riley x reader #reader insert #imagines #ghost fluff #ghost fanfiction #call of duty #fanfic #ghost call of duty #ghost cod #ghost cod mw2 #ghost simon riley #request #tattoos

[sayosdreams]

Picture Us (Together Forever)

Word Count: 26,115

ACOTAR masterlist

__________

TW: mentioned past homelessness, mentioned past abuse, referenced death & suicide

__________

A/N: For @simpingfornestaarcheron, one year late. A huge thank you to @bookstantrash for all your help with everything from brainstorming to beta reading and editing! You're the reason I actually managed to complete this fic. Credit @vidalinav for the 'Cassian's love is loud' concept, which is so ingrained in his character for me that I always end up including it.

I know I haven't posted anything for over a year and a half — I've been busy with college and have gotten into other fandoms — but I hope this long, fluffy fic makes up for my absence. Honestly, it's probably the fluffiest thing I'll ever write of this length. Also, the number of blocks in this post exceeded the Tumblr post limit, so I edited the paragraph layout to fit. The original version is posted on ao3. Please enjoy!

Present day

“Hey, sorry I got a little late,” Nesta announced as she stepped into the apartment she shared with her boyfriend, Cassian. “I got held up at work because some people apparently think my job is to do everything,” she explained as she took off her coat and undid her scarf. “Eris now seems to believe that I’m a secretary and that it’s my job to deal with all the parents who want to sign their kids up for lessons or have questions about our hours. Can you believe that Vassa expects me to cover Eris’ class next Tuesday during my lunch break because he ‘has to be out of town to go apple picking’? And then, to top it off, Briallyn came to talk to me about how some people want the rehearsals for The Firebird to be at a different time. Just because I’m one of the principal dancers doesn’t mean I coordinate the rehearsal times! I don’t know why she doesn’t just talk to the director or choreographer, honestly. It’s so-”

Nesta turned around and fell silent, her eyes widening as she took in the sight before her. The living room was decorated with candles and flowers. Rose petals were lined up on the floor, creating a walkway that led to the coffee table, which was covered in a white tablecloth. Behind the table stood Cassian, wearing a wine-red colored button-down shirt, black pants, and a soft smile. 

“Cassian?” she asked, her confusion evident in her tone. Had she forgotten some important occasion? Nesta quickly ran through the list in her head. But, no, it wasn’t either of their birthdays, or their anniversary, or Valentine’s Day… So why had Cassian done all this? Sure, he had given her flowers ‘just because’ or organized impromptu date nights before, but this was on a whole different level. “What’s going on?”

Cassian’s grin split into an open-toothed smile, even as intensity and slight nervousness swam in his eyes. “Nesta, we met five years ago in the line for tickets to the Bone Carver concert, when you yelled at me for letting my friends cut the line. I turned around to yell right back, and the moment I did, my life changed. You’ve made my life so much better, in so many ways I can’t even find the words to describe. Every day with you is like a dream come true. We’ve made so many fantastic memories together over the years.”

He pulled the tablecloth off the coffee table in a sweeping motion. Nesta inhaled sharply as she took in the collection of polaroid pictures, recalling different special moments in their relationship. The collection was decorated with small doodles that Cassian had clearly drawn himself. 

She sank down to her knees in front of the table. 

“Cassian…” Nesta whispered, “This is beautiful.” 

Her eyes drifted across the paper, until they came to rest on a single photo. Her hand reached out as if she wanted to caress the image, but floated just a hair’s breadth away from it like it was too precious to bear her touch. 

Cassian kneeled down too, and glanced down at the photo she was looking at. He laughed, “Oh, yes. The bookstore date, where you used me as a human bookshelf.”

The corners of Nesta’s lips turned up. “Listen, I just wanted you to know what you were really signing up for.”

Cassian chuckled.

__________

Five years ago

“Where are you taking me?” Nesta asked for the sixth time. 

Cassian once again responded by shushing her, his eyes fixed on the road. 

Nesta sighed. Cassian had somehow managed to drive without using a GPS (a novel feat for him) so she couldn’t even peek at it to figure out their destination. Cassian clearly hadn’t considered how impatient Nesta was when he’d decided to plan a surprise for her. 

Nesta knew she should just sit back in her seat, relax, and enjoy whatever Cassian wanted to surprise her with, but she couldn’t. It wasn’t that she wasn’t excited — of course she was, and she was touched that Cassian had gone through all this effort just to plan a surprise for her. But Nesta couldn’t help but be filled with anxiety. She didn’t always react well to situations she was thrust into unexpectedly, and she wished she at least had a hint about where they were going so that she could prepare accordingly. She didn’t want to start freaking out and push Cassian away, destroying the tentative relationship they had just started to build. 

She trusted Cassian and knew he’d never intentionally put her in a situation that made her uncomfortable. They had met about three months ago and he’d asked her out soon after. Although they hadn’t made anything official yet, Cassian was always so caring and kind to her, more than any of her exes. He always made her laugh and brought her Earl Grey tea with just the right amount of 2% milk. He’d given her his scarf when he’d noticed that she was cold and had never asked for it back. He loved to play with her hair, creating intricate braids as his hands tenderly massaged her head. His body was honed from ice hockey training and he towered over her, and yet he had never once made her nervous or uncomfortable, even when they had been two strangers arguing in line. 

Still, there were many things that Nesta had yet to tell Cassian about. While his gentle sweetness was making her walls come down, bit by bit, she was struggling to open up fully. She didn’t want to risk scaring him away and ruining everything they’d created. 

All in all, she knew Cassian would never try to make her uncomfortable, but there were many things that could set her off that he didn’t know about. If she started freaking out, and she lost him… It was stupid of her to get so attached to someone so quickly. He wasn’t even her boyfriend, for gods’ sake! Only her closest friends knew they were together. They weren’t keeping their relationship a secret, exactly, but telling everyone would put pressure on their relationship that they weren’t ready for. 

Cassian’s best friend, Rhysand, was dating Nesta’s youngest sister, Feyre. The two of them had met on a dating app called Bond a couple weeks after Nesta and Cassian’s encounter. They’d fallen head over heels in love with each other, and had moved in together after just one month. Feyre kept texting the Archeron sisters’ group chat about how much she loved Rhys and how she wanted to marry him. 

Nesta and Cassian needed to take their relationship at their own pace — meaning much, much slower than Feyre and Rhys. If Nesta and Cassian made it official and then broke up later… well, Nesta didn’t want to have to deal with gossip and pitying glances whenever they were at the same place together on top of everything else. Plus, she knew her sisters were nosy romantics who would start asking about going on double dates, planning Nesta and Cassian’s wedding, and making lists of their future babies’ names. 

She couldn’t deal with all of that right now. When her last serious relationship had ended, she’d been left with bruises, a mountain of trust issues, and not much else. It had taken her a long time to put herself back out there again — to trust others with her body, much less her heart. Cassian had proved himself a worthy candidate, willing to be patient with her and put her at ease to help her let her guard down.

What it boiled down to was that she cared about him, far more than she probably should, and it scared the crap out of her. But she was even more afraid of losing him.

“Alright, we’re here!” Cassian’s voice cut through her spiraling thoughts. “Close your eyes.”

Nesta took off her seatbelt and did as he asked. Her heart beat erratically in her chest. She listened to the click of Cassian unbuckling his seatbelt and the boom of his car door shutting. A cold breeze hit her as her door opened. She felt Cassian’s large, calloused hand slide into hers, guiding her as she stepped out of the car. 

“You okay, sweetheart?” he asked. 

“Mhmm,” she replied vaguely. 

A boom sounded, followed by a quick beep beep, indicating Cassian had locked the car.

“We’re almost there, I promise.”

He stood behind her and his hands came to rest on her shoulders, gently turning her to the right and then guiding her path. They walked in silence. Nesta was glad she’d thought to put on a sweater and a jacket as the chilly autumn wind swept past them again. 

Cassian suddenly stopped her and turned her body to the left. 

“Okay,” he said, leaning down to whisper in her ear. His breath was hot against her neck. She shivered. “We’re here.” 

She opened her eyes, and gasped. 

A blue sign with the words “Pegasus Book Company” hung above a blue-framed door. A bell chimed as she entered the shop. Pegasus Book Company was one of the hidden gems of Prythian. Despite being an independent bookstore, it was quite large and well-stocked in many different genres. They also displayed artwork from local artists, which they changed every season. Most of all, the owner, Helion Spell-Cleaver, was said to be amazing at giving book recommendations. Nesta had always wanted to visit Pegasus, but she’d never found the time to drive all the way to Hemera District just to visit one store. She had only mentioned it to Cassian once in the passing. She couldn’t believe that he’d remembered and done this for her. 

“Cassian…” She whispered, her voice full of awe and gratitude. She turned to find him with an uncharacteristically shy smile on his face. 

“Surprise,” he said softly. “Sorry that I made you wait to know where we were going. I wanted to surprise you, but I know I made you kind of nervous when I didn’t tell you where I was driving to. Is it ok? I’m sorry if it felt like I was abducting you. I just wanted to, uh, not ruin the surprise.”

Nesta couldn’t find the words to explain how happy his surprise had made her. Instead, she pressed her lips to his and let the kiss express her feelings. 

When they finally pulled apart, her lips formed a smile that she couldn’t suppress if she tried and she added a quiet and genuine “Thank you.” 

She hoped he could read the emotions in her voice and her eyes to understand how much the thoughtful gesture meant to her. His nervous ramble, while unnecessary given how fantastic the surprise was, just showed how much he cared about her. She didn’t know how to handle such affection and kindness. She felt as though she’d cry or melt or burst with everything he made her feel. He treated her as though she were precious and beautiful, worthy of compassion and care, like her company was a gift. As though she mattered.

Later, as he carried the numerous books she selected and listened attentively to her rants about different characters, books, and authors, she was overwhelmed by the pure joy she felt and some other emotion that it was far too soon for her to name. 

Cassian was special — she’d known it since the moment they’d met, when her sharpness had intrigued him rather than pushed him away. He was so perfect and amazing, and yet cared about her so much that she was still in disbelief. The dread that he would wake up one day and realize that she wasn’t worth the trouble was constantly present, and made her hesitant to give him her all for fear of him shattering her completely. 

But it was already too late. 

She wasn’t fooling anyone, least of all herself, by not putting a label on things. It didn’t change how much she cared about him or how she didn’t want to think about him ever leaving her life. It was only hurting her, and more importantly, him. Nesta knew that her fears and her trauma often made her struggle to express her emotions. She never wanted Cassian to doubt how much he meant to her. Yet, it always felt like Cassian was the one doing things for her: he was the one who had asked for her number, the one who usually texted first and planned their dates, and the one who gave her meaningful gifts and surprises. He never hesitated to show or tell her how much he cared. 

What if he didn’t know? She wondered suddenly. What if he genuinely thought that Nesta didn’t care as much — that their relationship didn’t mean as much to her as it did to him? The despair that the thought brought her was shocking in its intensity. 

So as Cassian sat down in the driver’s seat, ready to turn on the car, Nesta blurted out, “Wait!” 

He turned towards her, his face showing his surprise and concern. She acted instinctively, reaching over to pull his hands towards hers and then interlacing their fingers. She took a deep breath as she steeled her resolve. Cassian’s thumb slowly moved back and forth over her hand in a soothing gesture. He’d evidently noticed her nerves. His soft, silent support served to strengthen her determination that she had to do this. 

“Cassian, thank you so much for today,” she began. “It was such an amazing, thoughtful surprise. I really, really enjoyed it.” 

She paused, considering her next words.

“The past few months have been incredible. I’ve really enjoyed spending time with you. And I-”

“Wait! Nesta, please don’t,” Cassian interrupted. His body had gone tense and his eyes were dull in a way she’d never seen before. His hands had grown sweaty in hers. 

Nesta felt her heart drop. It was too soon, wasn’t it? Oh, gods, what had she been thinking? She’d misread the whole situation. If Cassian had wanted to put a label on their relationship, he would have asked. It was incredibly selfish of her to assume that she was the only one who’d had hangups about it. He would also be put in an awkward situation with Rhys and Feyre. And really, she and Cassian had only known each other for three months. Why had she thought that she should do this? As usual, she was ruining everything by moving too fast and being too intense. 

Cassian continued, his voice choking up slightly, “I know I can be- it can be too much, but I promise, I’ll- we can- this can be whatever you want. We can talk about it and I’ll- I can reel it in. I mean, I’ll respect your boundaries and, uh, wishes and, just. Please, we don’t need to end this completely, just- I-”

He cut himself off as Nesta untangled one of her hands from his. 

“No, wait,” he rushed, his eyes widening in alarm, “if that’s what you really want, then of course I’ll respect it, I just wanted- but- I mean, can we at least stay fr-”

He was cut off again, this time by Nesta’s pointer finger pressing into his lips. 

“Cassian,” she said, in a strong, confident, and reassuring voice, “will you be my boyfriend?” 

His expression morphed instantly, shock and joy flitting over his face.

Nesta waited patiently, sitting in silence, awaiting his answer. She watched as Cassian’s free hand moved to his thigh, which he pinched more than once. Finally, he met her eyes. His mouth was barely curved upwards, as if he was too astonished and emotional to form a smile. 

“Yes,” he replied. 

Cassian’s hand came up to rest ever-so-gently on her cheek as their lips met for a kiss. As they continued to get lost in each other, kissing in the middle of the day in a car parked on the side of a street, Nesta knew that this was what all those fairytales and romance novels were made of.

__________

Present day

“I can’t believe you actually thought I was going to break up with you,” Nesta laughed, shaking her head. “Right after I complimented you, too.”

Cassian shrugged. “It’s a foster kid thing,” he said lightly. “If someone’s being too nice, it just feels like they’re trying to let you down gently.” 

Nesta leaned across the table to press a kiss to his cheek in what she hoped was a reassuring gesture. 

“I’m never going to leave you, stupid,” she said. “You’re stuck with me forever.”

Cassian smirked. “I sure hope so.” 

His eyes moved left to the next polaroid and his hand followed suit, coming to rest right above the image. 

“Do you remember that day?” he asked, tapping his pointer finger on the table. “I was so nervous.”

“What? Why were you nervous? I was the one performing!”

__________

Five years ago

“Do you think the tie is too tight?” Cassian asked, pacing in front of the bathroom mirror. “Did I do it wrong? Fuck, do you think it’s too colorful for a formal event? Maybe I should change it to black?”

“Breath, Cassian, breath,” Azriel replied, half-serious. 

Cassian rolled his eyes. “C’mon, Az,” he pleaded.

“You look fine, Cassian. It’s going to go great. Don’t worry.”

Cassian was still fiddling with his tie. “And you don’t think the color is too much?” 

Azriel raised an eyebrow. “It’s burgundy.” 

Cassian continued to questioningly stare at Azriel.

Az sighed. “The color is fine. The tie is perfect.” He grabbed his jacket from the back of the chair. “Let’s get going.” 

“Oh, shit, are we late?” Cassian scrambled to grab his suit jacket, his keys, and his wallet. Where were those flowers he’d bought? “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have spent so much time worrying about my fucking tie.” He could have sworn he’d left them on the dining table, but that was empty save for the collection of books, papers, and notebooks that Azriel had organized into neat piles. Cassian checked the kitchen counters, only to find them empty, too. Had he put them in his room? He really needed to get more organized. They were already getting late, and he was going to further delay them. “You know what, just let me- You go ahead, I’ll catch up with you later, once I find the bouquet.” 

“Cassian. Cassian!” Azriel snapped his fingers. Cassian paused his frantic search to look at Azriel, who was carrying Cassian’s bouquet in his arms along with two others. “I’ve got it, see? Now, let’s go.” 

Before Cassian could open his mouth, Az added, “We’re not late, don’t worry.” 

As they entered Bryaxis Hall, where the performance was being held, Cassian expected to feel the last of his nerves disappear. 

As soon as he stepped inside, he realized how wrong he was. 

The hall was decadent. The ceiling was higher than a three-story house, the floor was marble with a simple yet elegant carpet running down the center, and Greco-roman pillars with intricate designs lined the hall. A chandelier hung above the grand staircase. The walls were decorated with high relief panels, each portraying a distinct myth or story. 

He followed Azriel up the stairs in silence. He was too consumed by the message every piece of architecture and decoration seemed to be yelling at him: he didn’t belong here. 

It wasn’t like he’d never been to a fancy party before: the NHL had plenty of galas, but even when he was surrounded by his teammates and friends, he always felt like a fraud in a suit. 

Cassian wasn’t meant for luxuries and refinement. He’d grown up dirt poor, even when his mother had still been around. After her death, he’d essentially lived out of a backpack. He’d even spent a few nights out on the streets when he’d been placed in particularly bad foster homes. Until he’d met Shirina, Rhysand’s mother, he had never even eaten chocolate — at least that he could remember. 

He’d only been to watch ballet once before. Shirina had insisted that they see the Nutcracker for Yule, as that had been a tradition in her family. Rhys, being the eleven-year-old that he was, had complained the whole way about being dragged there against his will. Ayla, Rhys’ younger sister, had grumbled about having to watch the Nutcracker again, instead of seeing something different like Swan Lake. Cassian had remained silent. At twelve, he didn’t want to admit that he was interested and excited, for fear of appearing uncool. Still, he was curious and was glad that Shirina had remained insistent despite her children’s protests. 

The ballet had enraptured him. He sat there, amazed by the graceful movements, the silent jumps, the whip-fast pirouettes, and the perfectly synchronized motions. 

Now, as he glanced down at the playbill, he felt completely unqualified to be here. He had no idea what La Bayadère was about — quite frankly, he wouldn’t even know how to pronounce it if Nesta hadn’t told him. He didn’t know any of the ballet terminology, either. How was he going to tell Nesta what he thought of the performance if he didn’t even know how to verbalize it? 

He glanced over at Azriel, hoping to gain some insight. Azriel was close friends with Nesta and two of Nesta’s ballerina friends, Gwyn and Emerie, who were also in tonight’s ballet. Right as Cassian was about to ask, the lights dimmed and the audience fell silent. 

Cassian worried whether he would be able to focus on the performance with all of his anxieties swirling around his head. Nesta deserved his full attention — she had been practicing for this for so long, and had poured her heart and soul into her ballet. There were so many times when she’d been late to dates, staying back in her studio to practice a move that she wanted to perfect. 

But Cassian needn’t have worried. The moment the ballet began, he was completely in its thrall. All his thoughts fled. He sat there, mesmerized, as the ballerinas danced. When Nesta entered, his breath caught in his throat. She was radiant on stage, looking like a goddess, a queen, and a warrior-princess all wrapped up in one. 

After the show, when he handed her the bouquet and told her how incredible she’d been on stage, her expression made it all worth it. Her cheeks, flushed with exhaustion, were rounded as her mouth split into a jubilant smile. Her eyes were awed, as if she was so grateful for his words and presence but couldn’t quite believe he was here. Despite all of his anxieties, he wouldn’t have wanted to be anywhere else. 

And as Cassian drove home, he realized he couldn’t wait to see Nesta’s next ballet performance. 

__________

Present day

“It really did mean the world to me that you came, you know,” Nesta admitted. “And I was so nervous about what you’d think.”

“Of course I was impressed! Anyone in their right mind would be.” His comment was light. There was no need to mention that Nesta’s ex, Tomas, had considered her job to be a ‘useless passion’ that ‘should only be a hobby’. Both of them knew Tomas was a hateful piece of shit who had done his best to drag Nesta down, and were infinitely grateful that she’d gotten away from him. 

Nesta shot Cassian a small smile before turning back to the pictures.

“Oh! The snowball fight!” She snorted. “Don’t show this to Rhys and Az, we don’t want to remind them.” 

Cassian rolled his eyes, grinning. “They’re big babies.”

__________

Five years ago

Nesta turned around, startled, as someone tapped her shoulder. 

She had been shoveling snow for the last thirty minutes in the dim light of the rising sun. Normally, she loved lying around in bed on snowy days. She was content to sit inside, drinking hot chocolate, watching the world through the window and feeling as though she had been transported inside a snow globe. One of the few perks of living in an apartment was that she didn’t need to shovel snow. 

Last night, however, she had stayed over at Cassian’s townhouse. Cassian’s roommate, Azriel, had gone out, presumably to spend the night with someone. Nesta considered Az to be a friend, but he was extremely private; she had no idea if he was seeing someone, let alone who that someone might be.

Nesta turned around. 

Cassian was standing there, arms crossed, with one eyebrow raised. “Nesta, why didn’t you wake me up?” 

Nesta rolled her eyes and turned back around to keep shoveling. “You’re sore.”

She hadn’t expected to wake up to snow piled up almost five centimeters on the ground. It was the first snow of the winter, and she wanted nothing more than to watch the snow fall from the warmth of Cassian’s bed, curled up against her boyfriend. 

Then, she recalled the numerous bruises and cuts on Cassian’s body that she’d tended to yesterday. He had gotten thoroughly roughed up at his game, though when she’d remarked on it, he’d just laughed and replied that this didn’t even count as getting injured in ice hockey. Still, she’d seen him wincing as he reached to the left when he thought she wasn’t looking. 

So when she’d seen the snow this morning, she’d decided that, instead of going back to sleep, she would shovel the entire walkway and driveway before Cassian woke up. 

Clearly, she’d failed. 

“I’m fine!” Cassian replied, just as Nesta had anticipated. “I’m not-”

Nesta cut him off by shushing him. 

She had a little less than half the driveway left to shovel. She was adept at the art of ignoring someone trying to talk to you: after all, she’d grown up with two little sisters. So as Cassian continued to complain that he was not actually hurt and tried to convince her to hand over the shovel, she just tuned him out and focused on her task. She was making pretty good progress, in her opinion. Sure, her fingers were a little cold even in her gloves, but the desire to keep going and not let Cassian help at all motivated her. The spite kept her warm. 

She was almost a third way done when she heard coughing. She stopped abruptly and turned to Cassian, who was wiping snow off of his face.

Her eyes widened. “Oh my gods! I’m so sorry!” 

Cassian just laughed. “What, you didn’t mean to cover me in snow?”

He leaned down and grabbed a fist full of snow. “Let me show you a faster way to get rid of all this snow, sweetheart.” Nesta barely had time to duck before the snowball flew in her direction.

Abandoning the shovel, she ran away from him. Then, she made her own snowball, which she hid in her hand as she smiled at Cassian innocently. He smiled back and walked towards her until- Wham! Her snowball hit him square in the chest.

Nesta cheered. 

He gasped “Betrayal!” 

As she dodged his next snowball by a hair’s breadth, she stuck her tongue out at him. 

Her cold dissipated as their snowball fight continued. The progress she’d made on the driveway and walkway had definitely been ruined, but she found that she couldn’t care less. Twenty minutes later, when they went back inside, covered in snow, both of them were grinning ear to ear. 

It wasn’t until after they’d showered, changed, and were sipping hot chocolate that Cassian exclaimed, “Shit!” 

His drink sloshed, spilling out of his mug. Nesta took a large sip of her hot chocolate — it really did taste divine with marshmallows — and looked at him questioningly over the rim of her mug.

“You can’t tell Rhys,” Cassian pleaded. “He wouldn’t understand. We need to keep this a secret.”

“What, that I had a snowball fight with my boyfriend?” Nesta answered incredulously. 

Cassian’s face, however, was completely serious. “Yes.” 

“I wasn’t planning on telling him,” Nesta said, struggling not to laugh, “but now I’m curious to see what’ll happen, so…”

“No!” Cassian’s eyes went wide. “You see, every year, when it first snows, Rhys, Az, and I have a snowball fight. It’s a tradition we’ve had for years. If they find out that I had a snowball fight with you first…” Cassian shook his head, as if the possibilities were too horrific to even consider.

“So basically, you cheated on them with me?” A drop of hot chocolate spilled over and ran down the side of Nesta’s mug. She caught it with her finger, which she then brought to her lips.

Cassian’s eyes followed her finger. His Adam's apple bobbed as her finger left her mouth with a pop.

“I, uh, yeah.” He cleared his throat. 

She smirked. “Well, I haven’t told them, but I did tell Gwyn and Emerie in our group chat when they asked what I was up to, so Az is definitely going to find out.”

Cassian groaned, putting his face in his hands. Nesta just continued sipping her hot chocolate, laughing quietly.

__________

Present day

“They’re definitely going to hold that against us forever,” Cassian sighed. “They were so mad. That whole winter, I had to watch my back. They just kept pelting me with snowballs whenever they got the chance.” 

“It was hilarious,” Nesta grinned. Then, catching Cassian’s look, she corrected herself. “I mean, it was very terrifying.” She tried for a serious expression but failed, erupting into laughter.

Cassian rolled his eyes, but she could see the smile he was trying to suppress.

“You know what else they’re going to hold against me forever?” Nesta pointed at the polaroid right under the one they’d been looking at. “This. I think I almost gave them heart attacks.”

“Oh, yes. Now, that was hilarious,” Cassian agreed.

__________

Four years ago

Vroom.

Nesta pulled up to the front of the lane, right as the light turned red. Sighing, she raised her face shield. 

She turned to the right, glancing absently at the car in the lane next to her. It was a black Mercedes-Benz, the same car Rhysand owned. As she looked through the rolled-down driver’s seat window, she realized that it was literally the same car, because Rhys was the one driving.

She called out to him, and he turned towards her — then did a double take.

“You- wha- how are you driving Cassian’s motorcycle?” Rhys spluttered. 

Azriel’s head peeked out behind Rhys’. They sported matching shocked expressions, complete with comically wide eyes, raised eyebrows, and parted lips. 

Nesta smirked. “It’s quite easy, actually. I wasn’t sure how I’d do, since I’d never driven a motorcycle before but,” Nesta patted the handles, “she’s a smooth ride.”

That was not what they’d meant by their question. 

Cassian had always dreamed of owning a motorcycle. After going through his finances and realizing that he could afford one now without stretching himself out too thin, he’d finally bought one last week. 

The motorcycle was his prized possession and he was fiercely protective of it. He took the time to polish it after each ride, checking to make sure there wasn’t a single scratch on his treasure. Rhys and Az had been begging to ride it ever since he’d gotten it, but he’d starkly refused, claiming they were both too irresponsible. It was laughable, because Azriel was easily the most responsible member of their trio, but even he wasn’t allowed to do more than look at it. When Az had run a single finger across the paint, Cassian had pulled him away, declaring that Azriel was being too rough and that he clearly hadn’t thought about how the oils from his fingers would interact with the materials on the bike to shorten its lifespan. Azriel had pointed out that the motorcycle was meant to be ridden, but Cassian had ignored him. 

Of course it made sense that Cassian would be so overprotective of his motorcycle. He had never had many possessions. He hadn’t ever owned more than one pair of shoes until he was thirteen, when Shirina insisted on getting him snow boots and dress shoes. He’d replied, “But my sneakers still fit,” confused, and grew even more confused when Shirina wrapped him in a hug in response. 

A motorcycle was something he’d never realistically imagined being able to afford. He’d look at magazines and at the seniors who’d pull up to high school in the Harvey-Davidsons that their fathers had bought them, thinking about what kind of motorcycle he would have wanted if he’d been born to rich parents who were still alive. Now that his wildest dream had become reality, he would guard it to the best of his ability.

He knew that Rhys and Azriel would treasure it as well. They knew that he loved the bike and would never do anything to intentionally harm it. Yet, they had both grown up with money. They didn’t understand the instinct Cassian had to protect the little that was his, because they had grown up with so much to claim as their own. To them, possessions were replaceable. Despite the wealth Cassian had gained, he could never shake off the memory of being a child curled around a backpack as he slept on the street instead of covering himself with it for warmth because he was afraid it would get stolen. 

So when Cassian had casually offered to let Nesta try riding it, she was shocked to say the least. 

“Are you sure?” she’d asked about a hundred times, but his answer never changed. When she’d admitted that she had never ridden a motorcycle before, he had just replied, “I’m honored to be your first,” with a wink. He then took Nesta, who was blushing and rolling her eyes, outside to teach her the basics. 

“Alright,” he said with a clap, twenty minutes later. 

Nesta got off the bike, assuming he wanted to return it to its position in the garage. 

“Want to take it for a whirl?” he said instead.

She spun around to face him. “Really? But I… I wouldn’t want to damage your motorcycle. I know how important it is to you and, well, are you sure you want me to ride it?”

Cassian just shrugged, smiling. “No pressure, of course, if you’d rather not ride a motorcycle, but I’d love for you to try.” Something shifted in his eyes as he said, “I’d love to share it with you.”

Nesta blinked. She had grown up very differently from Cassian. She’d been born into a wealthy, upper-class family that later lost its wealth when her father got laid off and her mother fell ill. The medical bills piled up as her father searched in vain for work during a recession, and once her mother passed away, her father fell into the arms of alcoholic depression. Luckily, Nesta had enough training and experience by that point to gain a scholarship to her ballet school. 

So while Nesta had experienced poverty, it was never in the way that Cassian had. She could only understand Cassian’s desperation to hold on to his possession on an intellectual level. 

She didn’t know why he would trust her with something so precious.

“Of course I trust you,” Cassian added, as though he’d read her mind. He kissed her on the forehead, as if to say ‘you’re precious to me’. Nesta closed her eyes. 

“Um,” she whispered, then cleared her throat to continue in a stronger voice, “I’d be honored.” Then, she glanced down at the dress she was wearing. “Maybe tomorrow?” she added.

Cassian laughed that hearty, deep laugh that always made her heart clench. “Can’t wait, sweetheart.”

So here she was, the next day, riding Cassian’s motorcycle. She’d been sure to dress more appropriately in her leather pants, jacket, and boots. She asked Cassian to confirm that her outfit was ok, just to make sure. He hummed approvingly as she spun around.

He then sat her down, and put on her elbow pads and knee pads on her. If it had been anyone else, she would have complained incessantly about being treated like a child; because it was Cassian, who touched her so tenderly as he adjusted the straps, she couldn’t feel anything except gratitude and joy. 

“Ready?” He asked as she sat down on the bike. She gave him a thumbs up as he took a step back, gazing as though he was an artist who was looking at the tableau he’d painted. Dressed all in black, atop a black motorcycle, Nesta felt like she cut quite the figure. She felt powerful, as though she could do anything. 

She turned on the engine and was about to get going when Cassian shouted, “Wait!” and ran over to her. She paused, looking up at Cassian as he ran over to her and lifted her face shield. 

He kissed her, hard, and she melted into it. When he pulled away, she sat there for a moment, dazed. She brought a hand to her lips and continued to stare at Cassian. His parted lips were dark red, stained with her lipstick. 

She took a deep breath, blinking a few times to regain her focus and dispel all the images of a naked Cassian from her mind. She pulled down her face shield, revved the motorcycle, and set off. 

“But- how did you get Cass to agree to let you ride his bike?” Azriel asked, astounded.

Nesta shrugged, grinning. “What, like it’s hard?”

She zoomed off as the light turned green, leaving Rhys and Az in the dust with their mouths hanging wide open. 

__________

Present day

“I’ll cherish that moment forever,” Nesta laughed. 

Cassian grinned back at her, then pointed to a picture in the bottom row. 

“You know what I’ll cherish forever? This one.”

Nesta looked at it and sighed. “Great, now mine seems shallow. Why do you have to be so kind and thoughtful?”

“I’ll try to stop.”

“That would be much appreciated.”

__________

Four years ago

Cheers filled the rink.

“GO DRAKON!” yelled the girl sitting right next to Nesta.

Emerie, who was sitting on her other side, held back a hissing Nesta by grabbing both her shoulders. 

“That was ridiculous,” Nesta said through clenched teeth. “Why isn’t the ref saying anything? That was definitely a foul!” 

“It was a beautiful goal,” Rhysand corrected.

Nesta’s fiery glare turned to him and he withered as she snapped, “Whose side are you on?”

It was Nesta’s first time being at Cassian’s game. Of course, she’d seen his games on TV before, but both of them had agreed that she should wait before attending a game and being in the presence of all his fans and the media. Now that they had been officially dating for over a year, they’d both felt it was time. Nesta’s best friends, Gwyn and Emerie, had decided to accompany her. They had both claimed that they just wanted to watch the game, but she knew that they really were there to provide her with moral support.

Sadly, Cassian’s team — the Velaris Ghost Leopards — was currently losing 4-2 to the Adriata Sirens. Nesta, who never followed ice hockey closely until meeting Cassian, had been yelling up a storm as passionately as any long-time die-hard Ghost Leopards fan. They were about halfway through the third period and any hope that the Ghost Leopards could win was slowly disappearing. Especially as Jurian Zbirak, the Sirens’ center, passed discreetly to Varian Ulwandle, the left winger who was famously good at scoring. 

“I can’t watch,” Gwyn grimaced as Varian got past the Ghost Leopards’ defenceman, Andras Lupo. The crowd held their breath as Varian took the shot and- 

“Saved!” Emerie yelled as Rhysand let out a whoop. 

Thesan Vu, the Ghost Leopards’ goalie, had managed to save it beautifully.

Nesta gasped loudly as Kallias Neve, the Ghost Leopards’ center, took the puck and skated forward. Unfortunately, the other team’s defense was extremely strong, and caught sight of him almost immediately. Kallias cut sharply to the left, but the defenseman Eris Vanserra quickly shifted positions to block him. 

“No, no, no, no, no,” Nesta chanted. Emerie was biting her nails anxiously next to her and Azriel was covering his mouth with his hands.

Kallias tried to deke Eris by feigning left and then cutting right, but Eris had seen through his tricks and was about to steal the puck when- 

Nesta jumped out of her seat. “Look!”

Kallias had managed to trick Eris after all. He’d drop passed the puck to Cassian, who was now zooming towards the goal. By the time Eris and Devlon Lyons, the other Sirens defenseman, realized and headed for Cassian, it was already too late. 

Nesta held her breath as Cassian got into position, took the shot and- 

“He scored!” Nesta cheered at the top of her lungs. 

Her throat was definitely going to be sore tomorrow but she didn’t even care. 

She watched as Cassian lit up with glee and his teammates congratulated him. This was why she cheered so hard, why she cared so much about the sport. It wasn’t as though she’d magically become obsessed with ice hockey when she’d met Cassian. No, it was the joy that the sport brought him and the way he put his heart and soul into it — giving it his all at every game, every training, every play — that made her passionate about it. Cassian worked so incredibly hard at hockey and it was such a big part of his life. How could something so important to him not be important to her, too? 

Cassian’s eyes locked on hers. Nesta froze. 

He brought his left hand to his lips and blew her a kiss. 

The crowd went wild as Cassian’s fans assumed he’d blown it to them. But Nesta could only sit down, dazed. She didn’t know why she felt so shocked that her boyfriend had blown her a kiss. They’d done far more than kiss, for gods’ sake. Perhaps it was because it had been in front of everyone, like Cassian was declaring his affection for her publicly and showing that he wasn’t ashamed of being with her. Or maybe it was the fact that he’d thought of her in the middle of a game, as though he never stopped thinking about her, even when he was singularly focused on ice hockey.

Emerie elbowed Nesta in the ribs and stage-whispered, “Your face is red, you know.” 

“Shut up,” was Nesta’s dignified response.

With five minutes left in the period, the Sirens held control of the puck.

“Are they just wasting time, trying to run out the clock?” Nesta huffed. “That’s fucking ridiculous.”

Drakon Aliyev — the Sirens’ right winger — kept passing back and forth with the Jurian and Varian, barely moving forward. 

“C’mon!” Rhysand jeered. 

Suddenly, with thirty seconds left on the clock, Jurian sped forward. He weaved between Ghost Leopards’ players, dodging and deking them. 

Twenty seconds. 

Andras closed in on Jurian, but Jurian back passed to Drakon right before Andras caught up to him. Drakon skated past them, zigzagging to avoid the other players who attempted to catch up to him. 

Ten seconds.

As Lucien — the Ghost Leopards’ other defenseman — moved in to body-check him, Drakon made eye contact with Varian, who had skated forward and was completely open. Drakon turned towards Varian, leaning his left shoulder down to pass to him.

Five seconds. 

Lucien shifted to guard Drakon’s right side, blocking him from passing to Varian. 

Four.

Drakon turned his hockey stick, which was on the left of the puck, to position it behind the puck, and aimed at the goal. Lucien scrambled to move back to his previous position in front of Drakon. 

Three. 

Drakon’s stick hit the puck, taking a strong shot. It flew through the middle of Lucien’s legs, headed straight towards the goal.

Two. 

Thesan shifted his stick and crouched down, moving into position to block the puck. 

One.

The puck landed on the ice a hair’s breadth in front of Thesan and slid through the small gap between his stick and his foot, straight into the goal.

Zero.

The crowd erupted into cheers and shouts. 

Nesta was chief among them. “What? That’s crazy! The puck was not completely over the line before the buzzer! Why the fuck are they counting it?” 

“It actually was,” Rhysand replied. “Wasn’t it an amazing buzzer beater, Az?”

Nesta was fuming. “What? Were you even watching the game? About a third of the puck hadn’t crossed the line! Don’t you agree, Az?” 

Az looked between them with wide eyes and then wisely chose to say, “Hey, why don’t we try to go catch Cassian before he has to go to the changing room?” 

Nesta was still grumbling as they walked up to where Cassian was talking to his teammates.

Azriel tapped him on the shoulder and he spun around, his disappointed frown turning into a friendly smile. Then, his eyes landed on Nesta and his expression softened. 

Nesta peered up at him and sent him a small smile. But a second later, she resumed her muttering, hissing under her breath, “I can’t fucking believe the refs don’t give a shit about the Sirens’ blatant cheating.”

Rhysand, who was standing right next to Nesta, groaned loudly. Cassian raised an eyebrow at him. “This one,” Rhys began, tilting his head towards Nesta, “hasn’t stopped complaining about the Sirens and the refs.” He rolled his eyes, exasperated. “They didn’t fucking cheat, Nesta. They won. Just accept it and move on.” He turned to Cassian with a glance that said ‘urg, can you believe her?’ 

Unfortunately for Rhysand, he was not met with the sympathetic backup he’d anticipated from Cassian. Instead, Cassian’s face split into a huge grin that only widened when Nesta retorted, “Well, it’s true! I swear the puck wasn’t fully over the line when I heard the buzzer. The refs were definitely biased, because they called the Ghost Leopards’ offsides in period 1 but not any of the Sirens’ fouls!” 

He let out a breathy laugh as wonder and joy lit up his eyes. He enveloped Nesta with his arms, burying his smile in her hair. 

Time froze.

Their eyes closed like camera shutters as they stood still, taking in the moment and committing it to memory. They were both silent, too overwhelmed by the intensity of their emotions.

An eternity later, Cassian broke the silence, whispering “Thank you” into Nesta’s neck. He let her go, but not before pressing a kiss against her cheek.

__________

Present day

“You know, it meant the world to me to see that you defended me so fiercely.” Cassian’s tone was sincere but still light, as one could only be with those whom they’d been vulnerable with many times before. “To know that you cared so much about me… well. It’s not like no one cared about me before, you know, obviously I had Rhys and Az and stuff, but I still struggled with really believing that people could care about me — that I could matter to people. That moment… Of course it didn’t completely ‘fix’ me,” Cassian made air quotes with his fingers, “but I think that’s when it really clicked and I realized that you felt the same way about me that I felt about you — that I mattered to you, too.”

Nesta swallowed, realizing that she was choking up, which was extremely uncharacteristic of her. The closest she usually got to crying was when she read about fictional characters, and even then she almost never felt tears welling up as they were now. 

“I love you,” Nesta answered quietly. It was the truth, plain and simple. “You matter to me, and you always have.”

“I love you too,” Cassian answered. His hand reached out to cover hers and gave it a gentle squeeze. 

A moment later, he pointed to another polaroid in the bottom row. 

“This one was next, right?”

“Yeah,” Nesta said, her eyes twinkling as she reminisced. “Those views were so worth it, but damn, I don’t think I’ve ever been as tired and sore.”

Cassian smirked. “Oh really? Not even-”

“Nope,” Nesta interrupted with a smirk of her own.

Cassian blinked, as though her reply had genuinely shocked him. Once he recovered, he answered, “Well, we’ll have to change that, won’t we?” 

He winked. 

Nesta rolled her eyes, but brought a hand to cheek to cover what she assumed was her rather obvious blush. 

__________

Four years ago

“Are you sure you don’t need to drink more water?” Cassian asked again.

“Yes, Cassian, I’m just as sure as I was when you asked me two seconds ago,” Nesta replied, a small smile on her lips despite her slight irritation at his repetitive questioning. Nesta would never in a million years admit that she liked Cassian’s coddling, but in truth she did enjoy knowing how much he cared. 

They’d decided to get away from the city for a week to go on the backpacking trip they’d been talking about for months now. Miraculously, Cassian’s off-season had aligned perfectly with Nesta’s and they intended to make full use of it. 

Initially, they had considered inviting some of their friends and family to join them on a hike to a different location, but after Nesta’s argument with Rhysand over reproductive freedoms dissolved into an intense shouting match with personal attacks, Cassian had decided to limit the trip to just the two of them. He’d hoped to give them some space from each other to help them cool off. 

There was also an additional reason he had decided not to invite anyone else — most notably Rhysand — that he hadn’t told Nesta. The day after the row, Cassian had gone to see Rhysand, hoping to help clear the air. Instead of being regretful and guilty, Rhysand had been stubborn, claiming that Nesta was the only one who needed to apologize. He called Nesta a “vicious bitch”, saying that he didn’t know why Cassian would want to be with such a “fucked up person who clearly had way too many issues” and “only wanted Cassian for the money and fame”. When he laughed, “The sex must be really good for you to put up with her,” spitting out the last word as though Nesta was the scum of the Earth who wasn’t even worthy of being named by Rhysand, Cassian had exploded. 

He’d completely lost it, snarling and hurling insults at Rhys. He’d yelled that Rhys was clearly so insecure that he couldn’t accept when he was wrong and had to tear others down to try to fix his fragile ego. 

“Maybe you want to pretend you’re perfect because you don’t know how to love people, flaws and all,” Cassian had hissed. “So yeah, Nesta might have some ‘issues’ but so do I. And guess what? That’s fine. We still care about each other, for real. Unlike you, we don’t feel the need to lie about who we are. At least our relationship is real and is based on honesty and truth.” 

It had been a low blow, to allude to his previous relationships. Rhys had dated Amarantha, a wealthy actress and politician’s daughter, at his parents’ request back when Rhys’ dad, Hadrian, was still running the conglomerate called Night Court Corporations which was later passed down to Rhys. This had been both a PR stunt, which showed rivals just how strong and influential their family was and distracted the media from Ayla’s underage drunk driving, and a way to gain Amarantha’s father’s support in giving Night Court Corporations a tax break. Their relationship had been faker than Amarantha’s tan. 

His only real relationship before Feyre had been with Carmella, a girl who worked at a coffee shop he used to frequent, although calling it ‘real’ was a stretch, as Rhysand had lied to her about his family and his past. They had dated for almost a year, and Az and Cassian had met the poor girl numerous times, but Rhysand had insisted that he would keep being ‘Reese, son of an office worker’ when he was with her in order to avoid ‘getting used’. 

So yes, the comment had been mean and Cassian had felt slightly guilty about it, despite it being true. 

But then, Rhys had retorted, “Real? Please, Cassian, I can’t believe that you can’t see through her! She doesn’t ‘care about you’ or whatever, she only cares about the money, just like everybody else like her!”

Cassian’s eyes had narrowed and he’d slowly bit out, “Like her? What do you mean by that?”

His eyes had flashed with rage and pain, because he’d known exactly what Rhysand meant. 

His suspicions were confirmed when Rhys’ expression had twitched. He’d meant people who weren’t as famous, as well-to-do, as wealthy. People who didn’t have a trust fund or a summer house or extra cars. People who couldn’t take vacations or make big purchases without saving up first. People who couldn’t say ‘money isn’t a problem’. People like Nesta who had to have side jobs in addition to their main one just to be able to afford rent in a city like Velaris. And people like Cassian, for whom even food and housing and safety had never been a guarantee, let alone new clothing or vacations. 

Rhysand had just implied that Cassian had never cared about Rhysand or Shirina or Ayla or Hadrian. That Cassian had only been with them for the money and that all the love he had for them was fake. 

Rhysand stayed silent.

Cassian repeated, “What do you mean, Rhys?”

“Look, I didn’t mean to offend you. It wasn’t about- I’m just trying to help you! She doesn’t actually care.” At Cassian’s murderous glare, he amended, “And even if she does, she doesn’t deserve you! I’m just trying to rescue you, man.”

“Rescue me?” Cassian laughed, coldly. “I’m not some semi-homeless kid anymore. I don’t need a fucking hero to save me. Maybe you want to think I’m some helpless victim because you can’t stand the fact that I’m finally happy and I don’t need you anymore. How are you going to feed your savior complex now?”

Rhysand scoffed, glaring down at him as though Cassian were a peasant and he were a god. It only served to fuel the cold flames of Cassian’s anger.

“Or maybe you don’t like that I’m succeeding,” Cassian said, his voice quiet and dangerous. “You don’t like that I’m rich and famous and I did it all on my own. I worked hard and got here and I’m only gonna keep rising. Who are you gonna look down at now to remind yourself just what a special little boy you are?”

Rhysand rolled his eyes. “Rich? Please, Cassian, you’re doing okay, but you could never be as rich as me. And all on your own? Need I remind you that I gave you a house and food and clothes? I paid for your hockey gear and for chauffeurs to drive you to games. You worked hard, sure, but so did I. We’re the same, so stop trying to act like you’re any better than me.”

“Aww, did I hurt your fragile little ego?” Cassian pouted mockingly. “You know that you didn’t do any of that, right? Shirina and Hadrian paid for all those things. And yes, they helped me, but at least I got my job because of skill and hard work. You got yours because you were born a boy. We’re not the same and we’ll never be.”

“You’re right,” Rhysand replied coolly. “We’re not the same. I don’t know why I ever bothered to pretend otherwise.”

Cassian had stormed out, tossing a “By the way, it’s called a taxi, not a chauffeur!” over his shoulder as he exited.

Admittedly, it had not been his best comeback.

After that incident, Cassian had decided not to speak to Rhys for a while, let alone invite him on any trips.

As they hiked up the hilly landscape, Cassian was grateful he’d decided to spend this time alone with Nesta instead. Somehow, the whole trip felt so much more meaningful with her by his side, like this was a glimpse at the life they were building together. 

“Gods, my legs are definitely going to hurt after today,” Nesta mumbled as they hiked up an especially steep section.

“Are you okay? Do you want to take a break- or should I carry you?” Cassian hurriedly replied. 

Nesta just laughed, staring pointedly at his backpack. “Literally how?”

Cassian gestured to his front. “You doubt my strength?”

“Yes,” Nesta teased, sticking her tongue out at him before speed walking ahead. 

“Wait up!”

Each night, they shared a tent. Despite starting out in sleeping bags on separate mattress pads, they always ended up cuddling together, supposedly for warmth. A couple nights in, Nesta figured out how to zip their sleeping bags together to create a single larger sleeping bag, whispering “Oh no, there’s only one bed!” as she did so. 

Every morning, Cassian would wake Nesta up with a kiss to her cheek. She’d always scrunch her face and groggily mutter, “No, don’t do that, I’m disgusting.”

“You could never be disgusting, sweetheart,” Cassian would reply, prompting Nesta to open her eyes only to roll them at him. 

When they finally arrived at Windhaven Overlook, their destination, they spent a day admiring the views and having a small picnic. 

“Thanks for bringing me here,” Nesta said, resting her head on Cassian’s shoulder. “It means a lot that you’d want to share this with me.”

Cassian kissed her forehead in response. 

He had been to this spot only twice before, but it was still one of the most important locations for him. 

The first time, Enalius had brought him here. Enalius was a man close to Cassian’s heart. They’d first met when Enalius approached Cassian, whose face was glued to a window, watching an ice hockey team practice. Cassian had snuck into the skating rink for warmth and to use the vending machines and the water fountains, but had let his guard down, enthralled by the skaters. 

“Are you spying on them?” were the first words out of Enalius’ mouth. 

“What? NO!” Cassian had tried to run, but Enalius clasped his shoulder with a strong arm. 

“Really? What team do you play for?”

“I don’t play hockey!” 

At that, Enalius had frowned. “Really? That’s a shame. I think you might be good at it. Why don’t you ask your parents to sign you up for a class sometime?” 

Cassian’s eyes had dropped to the floor. “No, that’s okay.”

“C’mon, now,” Enalius had tried again. “I’m sure you could be better than those boys in no time.”

“I’ve never even skated before.”

Enalius raised an eyebrow as Cassian furiously backtracked, realizing that he’d basically admitted he’d snuck in. 

“Uh, I mean, I’ve never skated in, uh, hockey rinks with, uh-”

Enalius smiled. “Don’t worry, kid.” He looked Cassian up and down once more and sighed, “Are you sure you don’t want to give it a try? You’ll never know what it’s like until you give it a go.”

Cassian shrugged.

“Well, if you ever think you want to, just tell the lady at the counter over there that Enalius Ramiel told you to sign up for a lesson with him, okay? And get your parents to sign all the release forms and stuff.”

“Oh, they, uh, can’t do that.”

Enalius cocked his head. “Should I talk to them? Don’t worry, lessons aren’t actually that expensive, and I’ll give you a little discount.”

“No, um, you can’t talk to them,” Cassian mumbled uncomfortably.

Enalius took a step back. “Sorry kid, didn’t mean to pressure you. Lemme know if you ever want me to talk to your parents or anything.”

As Enalius started to turn around, Cassian was suddenly caught by a panic and blurted, “You can’t talk to them ’cause they’re dead.” 

Enalius froze. 

“Oh,” he said after a moment. “I see.” 

He studied Cassian’s face for a moment and then grabbed his hand, power-walking towards the check-in counter. They cut to the front of a long line of people as Enalius flashed a badge.

“Hey, Val, can we book rink 3 for a private lesson?” Enalius asked the lady at the counter with a grin. 

“Sure, when do you want to schedule it for?” 

“Now.” 

Val raised her eyebrows. “Now? Are you joking?” 

Enalius shook his head. 

Val just sighed. “Fine, but I don’t think the ice has been refreshed in a while. Also, it’s booked after 5:30, so you’ve got a little less than an hour.”

“Thanks, Val, you’re the best.” Then, he turned to Cassian. “What size are your feet?” 

“Um… 6?” Cassian guessed, rounding up a size from his current too-small sneakers. 

“A pair of size 6 hockey skate rentals, too,” Enalius added. “Put it all on my tab.”

Then, he leaned in to whisper something Cassian couldn’t hear, which made Val sigh, “Oh, Ali, I hope you know what you’re doing.” 

The next hour had changed Cassian's life. He’d started out wobbling, barely staying vertical and walking instead of skating on the ice. By the end, he was gliding effortlessly, skating around and in between the cones Enalius set up. He fell in love with ice skating. 

So Cassian returned, day after day, getting free private lessons from Enalius, and he soon became enamored by ice hockey, too.

Enalius became Cassian’s mentor, not only teaching him hockey but also buying Cassian snacks or dinner and making sure he got back safely. It was Enalius who later introduced Shirina, his childhood friend, to Cassian, further changing his life.

It wasn’t until much later that Cassian learned what a famous and successful hockey player Enalius was. Enalius remained Cassian’s coach right until he joined the NHL himself.

There were few people who were as important to Cassian as Enalius. And that was why this place that Enalius had brought him to years ago was so special to Cassian. 

Shirina, Hadrian, Rhysand, and Ayla had decided to go abroad and travel alongside some cousins during fall break. Enalius had overheard Shirina hesitating about leaving Cassian home alone for the week and had offered to take him on a trip of their own. Cassian, who had never been on a trip as far as he was aware of, was ecstatic and it did not disappoint. It became one of Cassian’s best memories.

The second time he came to this spot was after Shirina’s death. Rhysand and Ayla had been inconsolable, each grieving in their own way: Rhysand never spent a moment alone, as though he could bury his feelings in the high of socializing and parties, while Ayla barely spoke or even left her room. Hadrian was trying his best to keep it together, but was clearly in way over his head — managing the children and their emotions had always been Shirina’s department, not his. Luckily, their extended family had flown into town to help them all. Friends and acquaintances had reached out, trying to find ways to support them through all the grief. 

Cassian, who couldn’t really be classified as a friend or family to Shirina, had been overlooked. It wasn’t like he expected anything different, but watching everyone comforting each other and ignoring him hurt. It was as though he had no right to grieve — to be this hurt by her death — and maybe he didn’t, but she had been the closest thing he’d had to a parent since he’d been 5 years old. He’d loved her, too. No, he wasn’t her child, but he was something to her, even if it couldn’t be labeled so easily. 

Now she was gone and whatever they had been was erased. It didn’t matter that he’d used his first paycheck to buy her a birthday present, or that she had attended all his home NHL games, or that they’d often go on walks together. It didn’t matter that she always knew when he needed a hug or that she’d taught him how to cook. 

Cassian had decided to hike to Windhaven Overpass to get out of his own head. 

The journey had helped him to process his emotions. The sunsets and the plant life around him had seemed far more beautiful that time, reminding him of how much Shirina had loved nature. At night, the stars seemed brighter than normal, and he recalled Shirina explaining to him that in her culture, stars were considered to be ancestral and guardian spirits looking down at you and guiding you. 

Cassian felt like Shirina had been there, watching him from the sky and reaching out with a comforting hand as he struggled. That trip, he had gotten angry and laughed joylessly and sobbed. He’d felt empty and about to explode at the same time. He had gotten to be something different from the strong, smiling version of himself that he usually presented to the public. In the end, the trip had helped him find some sort of closure and peace with Shirina’s death.

Now, Cassian had brought Nesta here.

He had told her about his prior trips with Windhaven and what the location meant to him, but actually bringing her here was a sign that Cassian was willing to be vulnerable with her. 

He had always feared people would leave him and that he was replaceable, and worried about tainting such a special place with memories of someone who would later leave his life. 

And yet, Cassian had brought her here.

“This spot is important to me, Nes, and so are you,” Cassian said. “Thank you for coming. It’s my honor to be here, with you.”

He didn’t say: ‘I’m not worried about bringing you here because what we have is different — it’s meant to last.’

He didn’t say: ‘You’re the only person I’ve ever cared about enough to let myself be vulnerable like this with — you could destroy me, but I’m willing to take that chance.’

He didn’t say: ‘I love you.’

And yet, that was what they both heard.

__________

Present day

“I knew you were in love with me the second you invited me on that trip,” Nesta smirked. 

“Sweetheart, I was gone for you way before then,” Cassian laughed. 

“That’s true,” she grinned. “You had an embarrassingly massive crush on me for the longest time. And you must’ve loved me a whole lot to let me get away with making Rhys grovel like that.”

“First of all, get your facts straight: I still have an embarrassingly massive crush on you,” he replied. “And secondly, well, Rhys deserved it and also it was really entertaining to watch.”

The day after they’d gotten back, Rhysand had sent Cassian and Nesta a long message, asking them to meet up so that he could apologize in person. Nesta decided that they should talk to Rhys separately. 

Cassian went first. Rhys apologized profusely for all the names he’d called Nesta, for all the things he’d implied about Cassian, and for all the insults. Cassian in turn apologized for his part, and the two of them had a chat in which Rhys admitted that he’d acted like an entitled prick and that he was genuinely sorry. They made up and quickly forgave each other, like the pseudo-brothers they were.

Nesta and Rhysand were an altogether different story. Rhysand apologized to her as well, but she answered that while she accepted his apology, she could not forgive him so easily. 

She understood that he didn’t like her, and that was his right, but she also felt that he couldn’t try to make claims about her character when he barely knew her. She told him that she was perfectly fine with having a tepid relationship with him where they would only speak when strictly necessary or that they could try to get to know each other better. Rhysand went with the second option. From there, they went on to have many long discussions. Once they’d gotten a bit closer, Nesta returned to their original point of contention: reproductive freedoms. She made Rhys listen to podcasts and read articles and watch videos about what reproductive freedom really was and why it was so important. “You don’t have to change your opinion,” she’d said, over and over. “You just need to be informed before you try to make claims about what others should or shouldn’t do with their bodies and their lives.”

It was only months later that Nesta finally stopped putting him through the wringer and told him that she’d forgiven him. 

“I’m so glad you enjoyed it, Cass. It definitely was all for your entertainment, no other reason at all for us to argue,” Nesta replied dryly.

Her eyes drifted to the polaroid in the bottom right corner. “Now that,” she pointed, “that was entertainment. What a show!” She licked her lips and batted her eyelashes exaggeratedly. 

“It was completely staged, of course,” Cassian joked. “The whole thing was just for your pleasure.”

Nesta raised an eyebrow. “My ‘pleasure’?” 

“My, my, what a dirty mind you have, Nesta!” Cassian fake-gasped. “A proper gentleman would never imply something so improper to a lady like yourself.”

“A proper gentleman? Where?” she retorted without missing a beat. 

He clutched his chest. “You wound me, m’lady.” He shook his head. “And to think, I was your knight in shining armor that day…”

“More like knight in very little armor.”

__________

Three years ago

Plunk.

They watched, immobilized by shock, as the necklace drifted below the water’s surface. 

It fell slowly, until it became only a vague shadow in the water.

“Nesta?” “Nesta, are you ok?” 

Voices faded in and out of Nesta’s awareness. She tried to force herself to smile, to nod that she was completely, totally fine. Unfortunately, she seemed to have lost the ability to control her body. 

It was so, so stupid. She’d been having such a wonderful day. And now, she’d ruined it.

Cassian and Azriel had prepared a group trip to Ravennia Park, complete with a lovely picnic lunch in the field of blooming daffodils. Cassian had even made sure to include all her favorite foods in the lunch. Afterward, they walked around the park, stopping occasionally to take pictures or listen to birds. 

They had stopped on this small bridge so that Feyre could take pictures of the glistening lake and the paddling of ducks that had just entered the water. Nesta had leaned over the railing, chatting with Cassian as she watched the colorful koi fish swim.

Her necklace had snapped suddenly, tumbling into the water before anyone could react. 

Her silver necklace, which her father had given her for her eighth birthday, disappeared under the surface of the lake. Gone, just like her middle school best friend, Clare Beddor, who had drowned herself in a pool. Gone, just like her father.

Until her mother got sick, Nesta had had an amazing relationship with her father. She would sit next to him, listening intently as he explained how trading and shipbuilding worked. She was always the one to run and open the door when he came home from work, enveloping him in a hug. She loved it when he read her bedtime stories and watched her dance around the living room.

Then, everything changed. Her illusion that he could do no wrong broke when her mother told her that the reason she wasn’t getting better from her illness was that they couldn’t afford good doctors and medicine since her father had lost his job. After that, Nesta’s resentment only grew as the misfortunes piled up. Her mother died and they couldn’t afford the funeral that she’d wanted. Her sisters had to change schools. They moved into a smaller house, with a bedroom that all three sisters shared. They struggled to put food on the table. 

When her father decided to sell art instead of looking for another job, saying he couldn’t rely on others to give him work, Nesta fumed. How could he sit there, carving wood and drinking beer, while Feyre worked overtime at her job in addition to school and she and Elain did all the cooking and cleaning? Nesta had vowed to leave as soon as she could, and, it turned out, that ballet allowed her to leave the nest sooner than expected. 

Still, she’d felt guilty leaving her sisters to fend for themselves in that house, and then felt even angrier at her father for not taking care of them and putting Nesta in a position where she felt guilty for following her dreams. 

Suffice to say, Nesta had a difficult relationship with him — one that was made all the more complex when he died of a sudden heart attack. 

It had taken Nesta a long time to process and make peace with his death. 

She’d decided to wear the necklace her father had given her today, in honor of his birthday. Once upon a time, she had worn this necklace all the time, showing off the token of her father’s affection. By putting it back on, she felt like she was healing a teenage Nesta, who had violently taken off her necklace at her mother’s funeral and shoved it into the drawer of her bedside table. 

And now, it was lost forever. 

“Nesta?” 

Cassian’s voice cut through her haze and she lifted her eyes to see his worried expression. He brought a finger to her cheek, caressing it softly. It grounded her, bringing her back to the present, but she didn’t react — couldn’t react — more than just blinking at him dazedly. 

Cassian took a deep breath. He grabbed the back of his t-shirt and removed it in one smooth motion, his pants quickly following suit. Before Nesta could process what was happening, he climbed over the railing and plunged into the lake. 

Nesta could only cling to the railing, shocked silent for a new reason as she waited, praying to all the gods she barely believed in that his head would emerge from the water. 

She tried to dispel all the fears that swam around in her mind, taunting her about the dangers of the lake. The water plants that could ensnare even experienced swimmers’ feet and drown them, the animals that could bite and eat him, the sharp rocks that could injure him, the current that could pull him under — the possibilities were endless.

Cassian’s head emerged from the water and she felt her heart unclench, just for a second, until he disappeared once more. 

This jerked Nesta out of her stupor. 

“Cassian,” she called out. “Cass! What the fuck are you doing? Get back here! ” Her voice grew increasingly panicked as there was no response. 

“It’s dangerous, are you insane? Cassian? Cassian!”

Her shouts only stopped when Cassian surfaced. His broad shoulders and defined abs glistened in the sunlight as drops of water rolled down his chest. The bun his hair had been in had come upon, and now his dark, wavy-curly mane was streaming down his back. His brown skin was slick with water and drops clung to his long eyelashes. She couldn’t stop herself from noticing that he looked exactly how she’d imagined a merman to be. 

Her lips parted as he stepped out of the water. She forced her eyes away from his soaking wet underwear that clung to his body, defining every inch of it. Her gaze fixed on his chest instead. She knew she should be focusing on Cassian’s face or the necklace in his hand but he was so fucking distracting. Soaked Cassian was criminally delectable. 

“Nesta?” 

Cassian’s voice was worried, probably since Nesta still wasn’t speaking.

“Nes,” he whispered, gently tilting her head upwards with a finger under her chin. 

Their eyes met. Cassian’s concern was wiped off his face and was instantly replaced by a smirk.

“Lost your tongue, sweetheart?” he teased.

Though she had indeed lost the ability to speak, she would not give him the satisfaction of admitting it. No, she would play his game and beat him at it. 

She licked her lips slowly. She tilted her head back to expose the column of her throat while she swallowed sharply, knowing how it drove him crazy. Cassian made a low noise in the back of his throat, as though he was trying and failing to suppress a groan. Then, he put his arms on her shoulders, turning her around. 

“Lift up your hair,” he whispered into her ear, sending shivers across her body. 

She did as he requested. He put the necklace back on her neck, patiently working the tiny clasp. His fingers brushed her neck, and even the cold silver of the necklace couldn’t cool the heat that spread within her. When the necklace was securely fastened, she turned around, wrapping her arms around his neck. 

She took a moment to look deep within his eyes. 

She would have to yell at him later for risking his life for a piece of jewelry, but nonetheless she appreciated what he had done. He was one of the only people who knew that she had a fear of deep water due to its association with Clare, and was also the only person who knew what putting this necklace back on meant for her. Yes, it was only a necklace, but he had also saved her from reopening the wounds of her complex relationship with her father and her past self. 

So she kissed him, knowing he would understand every conflicting thought and emotion that she pressed against his lips. And when his hand came up to support her neck, she knew that he was answering ‘I’m here for you, always.’

__________

Present day

“I knew you were objectifying me,” Cassian pouted mockingly.

Nesta nodded. “Oh, for sure. You’re nothing but a sexy hunk to me.” 

She leaned closer to him. “That’s why I said I love you first.” She tapped the picture in the top left corner. 

Cassian rolled his eyes. “How long are you going to hold that over my head?”

Nesta hummed as though she were seriously contemplating the issue. “How about… forever?” 

Cassian’s eyes sparkled and his mouth twisted around, as though he were trying to hold back a grin. 

“Urg, fine,” he said. His attempt to appear annoyed failed completely as he sounded more amused than anything else. “As long as you know I loved you first.”

It was Nesta’s turn to roll her eyes in mock annoyance, despite knowing that he was likely correct. “Sure, keep telling yourself that.”

__________

Three years ago

It was the final match of the Alfheim Ice Hockey Championships. If the Velaris Ghost Leopards managed to beat the Hybern Hydras, they would win the Fionn Cup for the first time in history. 

The game was extremely close, with both teams tied at 2-2, though not for lack of trying. The Hydras were playing atrociously dirty by anyone’s standards. They had already received numerous green and yellow cards, but it didn’t seem to deter them from continuing to foul the Ghost Leopards. 

Nesta cheered as Andras blocked Keir Hewn’s attack. Lucien swept in, stealing the puck from Keir, and passed it across the ice to Cassian. Cassian bluffed and wove his way through the Hydras’ defensemen. 

“C’mon, Cass, c’mon,” she chanted, her hands clasped together. 

Beron Falls raced to block Cassian, but Cassian passed the puck to Kallias just in time. Kallias dribbled the puck expertly. 

“Please, Kallias, make this shot,” Rhys implored from the seat behind Nesta’s. 

Kallias skated towards the goals, and lifted his stick to shoot. 

Then, the ice erupted in shouts, the umpire blowing the whistle continuously. 

“What just happened?” Gwyn asked but no one had an answer to give her. Nesta just sighed, dropping her face into her hands until she felt Elain tugging at her shoulder. Her eyes followed Elain’s pointed finger to see the jumbotron showing a replay. Andrew Amaranth, the Hydras’ left winger, had come up to Kallias from behind. He grabbed his stick and kicked the back of his calf with the blade of his skates, causing Kallias to fall. 

“What the fuck is wrong with him?” Nesta shouted.

“He’s actually unhinged,” Azriel agreed. 

The umpire called for a yellow and a ten-minute time out.

“It should be a red card,” Gwyn hissed and Nesta loudly agreed. 

The game continued in such a fashion, with the Hydras playing as dirty as possible without getting red cards. 

The game was still tied with five minutes remaining in the third period. 

“We can’t go into overtime,” Azriel muttered to himself, “All our players are getting tired and they’re bound to actually get injured from these fouls.”

“Better overtime than a loss,” Rhys replied.

Nesta looked down at her hands. Her nails had been bitten down to the nub over the course of this game. 

Winning the Fionn Cup was a lifelong dream of Cassian’s. He had worked hard for this. He’d given his life to this sport for years, training every day for hours on end, no matter how tired he was. He studied strategy, honed his body, and worked with his team to figure out how to play into everyone’s individual strengths.

But it was more than that. 

In many ways, the sport had also saved Cassian. It had given him direction and a sense of purpose at a time when he’d felt lost. It had given him a team, when he’d only ever felt alone. It had provided him an alternative to the path he’d thought he was destined for — a path that led to nothing but more despair, where he would just get by, numbly passing through every day and surviving by the skin of his teeth. Ice hockey had opened up a whole new world for him and allowed him to dream of a different future for himself. It had given him hope, showing him a way out of the cycle of sadness that he’d imagined he would be trapped in forever. 

The world had once branded him as useless, as broken, as less than nothing. As he was tossed around from foster home to foster home, sleeping on the street among the trash, the word worthless sank deeper and deeper into his skin. 

Ice hockey was the hand that had reached out and pulled him to his feet, getting him off the ground, out of the shadows and the litter and the endless despair. It had dusted him off and pulled him into the light, where he could get warm and grow and sparkle as he was meant to. 

Now, Nesta wanted the world to acknowledge that Cassian was a champion. She wanted the world to know they’d been wrong to ever dismiss him as anything less than magnificent. She wanted him to win the Fionn Cup and stand proudly in the spotlight, knowing the world now looked up to him. More than anything, she wanted him to know that he was worthy, that he was precious, that he was important. 

“Oh, fuck, yes!” Azriel shouted. Nesta would have raised an eyebrow at him — the ever-brooding, silent and mysterious Azriel — shouting so enthusiastically, if she hadn’t been so caught up in the game.  

Kallias had stolen the puck from Dagdan Maeve and was racing towards the goal. Just as he crossed the center line, the Hydra’s defensemen, Beron and Nolan, closed in on him. Nesta watched as Kallias attempted to fake them out, then made a sharp turn to get away from them, all to no avail. Beron finally caught up to him and moved to steal the puck. With Nolan guarding Kallias’ other side, there was nowhere for him to move, no space for him to pass.

“Oh, I can’t watch,” Rhys hissed, wincing. 

Nesta pressed her lips together, hoping for a miracle, when suddenly the puck disappeared. Kallias had somehow managed to pass it through the narrow gap between Beron and Nolan’s sticks and had hit the puck with such strength that neither of them could move to stop it in time. Cassian received the pass and skated towards the goal. Beron, Nolan, and even some of the forwards moved to stop him, but Nesta knew they wouldn’t make it in time. Not when Cassian was speeding forward, moving like the wind as he skated across the ice. 

Nesta leaned forward in her seat as a feeling swelled up inside her. It was a mix of anticipation, nervousness, hope, fear, pride, and something else — something that made her feel like her heart was in her throat and made her pray that Cassian would score but know she would be there by his side no matter what happened. She had been feeling it for so long now, but had never voiced it — never put words to the feeling for fear that it would shatter the precious thing they’d built. But now Nesta knew it wasn’t something that could be so easily destroyed. No, it didn’t matter if Cassian won or lost, or even got injured. It didn’t matter if Cassian got traded to a team in a different city or Nesta had to switch ballet companies. No matter what, through the ups and the downs, they would be there for each other, helping to shoulder the emotional load. 

As Cassian's hockey stick hit the puck, Nesta wondered why she had been waiting so long when it was so clear what this feeling was. If she was being honest, she’d known it when Cassian dove into the water for her necklace, had known it when he’d brought her to Windhaven, had known it even the first time she’d sat in these seats, cheering Cassian on as he played. 

Cassian’s love was loud. It was in the romantic dates he planned, the surprises and gifts and hugs he showered her with, the weekends when he could sleep in but woke up anyway to make her pancakes. No, he hadn’t said the words either, but his protective arm around her during dinner with his friends and the vulnerable look in his eyes as he prepared a fusion meal that combined their cultural cuisines said all that was needed. 

Nesta’s love was quiet. It was in the fridge restocked with Cassian’s favorite foods, the ways she tended to his injuries after a match, and carefully planned meaningful gifts for his birthday. No, she hadn’t said the words, but she knew that he knew how she felt. 

But now, as the puck flew towards the goal, Nesta wanted to love just as boldly as Cassian. She wanted to show the world how lucky she was to be with him, but more importantly, she wanted Cassian to feel how much she cared about him. She wanted him to know that she was proud to be his. For him, she’d shout their love from the rooftops. She’d give him the whole universe if she could, because the world had been so unkind to him and yet he’d still managed to become the most incredible person in it. She could only offer him her heart, however, and hope that he would find it worthy of keeping. 

The puck grazed the goalie’s glove and Nesta held her breath. The goalie stretched out his fingers to grab it but it flew past him. 

“GOAL!” 

The entire stadium erupted into screams. Cheers of pure joy came from the Ghost Leopards’ side, louder than ever before. Nesta watched as Gwyn, Azriel, Elain, and Rhys jumped up and hugged each other.

Nesta could only stand up in silence, too consumed with her feelings to utter a single sound. For what sound could encapsulate this all-encompassing joy and pride? She looked down at the rink. Cassian’s teammates were all piled up around him in a massive group hug. And in the middle of it all, Cassian was there, beaming. His eyes lifted and met hers. She was grinning, wider than ever before in her life, and lifted her hands to make a heart. 

Cassian’s eyes turned huge. He took a deep breath. 

Perhaps he would have responded in kind, but he was obstructed from Nesta’s view as another teammate jumped to hug him and then the coach yelled at them that the game was restarting. Cassian shot Nesta one last, loaded glance before skating back to his position.

It was all a blur after that. The last few minutes of the match passed without any change.  Both teams’ offenses and defenses were equally matched, and the puck passed between them with no chances to score. When the buzzer rang out, everyone sprung to their feet. 

Nesta cheered, not giving a shit that her voice would be hoarse the next day with how loudly she was screaming. Azriel was jumping up and down like a child — she’d never seen him so overtly joyous. Rhys had tears of joy pouring down his cheeks. Gwyn and Elain were hugging. 

After the awards ceremony, all the interviews, and a rowdy celebration with the team, Cassian finally joined them. 

The second they caught sight of him, they rushed towards him. All five of them reached him at the same time and jumped on him, crushing him as they hugged him and showered him with compliments and congratulations.  

Cassian laughed boisterously. 

“I can’t believe it! I’m friends with a Fionn Cup Champion,” Gwyn gushed.

“Oh, so now we’re friends?” Cassian teased.

Gwyn answered with a playful shove that pushed Cassian back toward Azriel. Az wrapped his arms around Cassian, trapping him.

He pressed a kiss to the side of Cassian’s head as the latter squirmed. 

“Sorry Nes, I’m keeping him,” Azriel joked, tightening his grip as Cassian tried to shake him off. 

“Take him,” Nesta grinned. “He snores.” 

“I do not!” 

Cassian’s protest went ignored.

“Hmm,” Azriel pretended to muse. “But then I could have a real-life Fionn Cup Champion in my room. The price of the noise-canceling headphones will be worth it.”

Nesta shrugged. “I’d be surprised if he fit through your door, now that his ego is going to get even bigger.” 

“True, true. I’d hate for his massive head to break my roof.”

“Hello? I thought you’re supposed to be nice to Fionn Cup winners,” Cassian pouted.

Gwyn laughed. “Nice? Cassian, it’s like you don’t even know us.”

“I can be nice,” Rhys protested.

Everyone proceeded to burst out laughing.

“Okay, fine,” he acquiesced. “I’m a demon just like the rest of you.” 

“That’s right,” Nesta grinned. “Accept your true nature and join our pit of darkness.”

Gwyn laughed evilly, “Mwahahaha!”

Nesta lifted her left hand, which Gwyn promptly high-fived. 

“Okay, anyway,” Elain interrupted, “Cassian, are you hungry? You must be tired after that amazing game.”

“Wow, thank you for being so considerate, Elain,” he said, extending her name pointedly. “I am actually pretty hungry and tired and sore after the game.” 

He turned his head to glare at Azriel, who was still holding him.

Az merely rolled his eyes. “Aw, poor baby. Does the little Fionn Cup Champion have a boo-boo?”

“Maybe he needs Nesta to kiss them better,” Gwyn suggested, not bothering to hide her smirk.

“Are you gonna tend to his wounds?”  Rhysand asked. “Nurse him to health?”

“I guess that depends on what it is that he’s hungry for,” Nesta replied with a wink.

They all burst out laughing a second later.

“Wow, you’re all so immature,” Cassian sniffed. “Elain is the only person fit for polite company.”

Rhysand glanced around. “What polite company?”

“Oh, no,” Azriel exclaimed. “We’re blaspheming! Now that Cassian’s won the Cup, we have to refer to him by his proper title: His Highness Sir Cassian of Illyrian.”

“I’m so sorry, my Lord,” Nesta added with a curtsey. “Please, forgive our disrespect.”

“Regency romance,” Gwyn fake-coughed into her elbow. 

“Of course, m’lady,” Cassian winked, “you’re forgiven. Although you may have to be punished for your transgressions.” 

Azriel pretended to gag. “Please, save the foreplay for the bedroom.”

“My poor, innocent ears,” Rhysand groaned. “I’ll never recover.”

Nesta turned to him. “Right, because you’ve never made out with my baby sister in public.” Then, she smirked. “Although, maybe you are innocent if that was too much for you. I mean, how vanilla are you?”

“Cassian,” Elain interrupted. “Do you want to go eat dinner at a restaurant or something?”

“That sounds amazing! How about the Greek place on 10th Avenue?” Cassian replied.

“Oh fine,” Rhys rolled his eyes playfully, “We’ll get food.” 

“I am actually really hungry, too,” Gwyn agreed.

“Well, if Gwyn is hungry, then we gotta go eat now!” Nesta declared.

Azriel nodded, his expression serious.

Cassian sighed. 

“I’ll meet you guys there,” Cassian called out as he walked towards his car with Nesta, “Or not. It’s also fine if you get lost on the way.” 

Azriel responded by raising a choice finger. 

The mirth was still in the air as Nesta closed the car door on the passenger’s side. 

“I can drive if you want,” she joked as Cassian slammed his door shut. Nesta was a notoriously reckless driver. She hated driving unless she had to, and Cassian loved driving, so it usually worked out perfectly. 

He laughed. “I appreciate the offer, but I’d like to live.” 

The car got quiet as the laughter faded. It filled instead with an intimate intensity.

Cassian turned slightly to buckle his seatbelt. 

Nesta reached over and placed a hand on his cheek. Cassian inhaled sharply and lifted his gaze to meet hers. Her thumb caressed his cheek. 

“Cassian,” she whispered. She knew the look in her eyes said it all already, but it had said it for so long and she’d never once let her tongue speak it. But Cassian — brilliant, beautiful, splendid Cassian who had been hurt far too much by the world — deserved to hear them aloud. It scared her for too many reasons to count, but if ever there was anyone worth confronting that fear for, it was this man who sat next to her in all his marvelous glory. 

His eyes were open — vulnerable, in a way he always was with her. Sometimes she wondered whether she deserved to be allowed to handle his precious heart that too many had tried to shatter. What if she dropped it or dented it with her harshness? But he entrusted her with it anyway. 

She took a deep breath. Then, she let it out, alongside the words she’d been holding in for so long.

“I love you.”

Cassian’s eyes filled with tears. He opened his mouth to reply, his Adam’s apple bobbing. Not a single word escaped despite his attempts, but Nesta understood and just smiled, her eyes shining with joy. 

“Don’t worry, you don’t need to respond.”

Cassian looked frustrated at himself as a tear rolled down his cheek. “But I- I do. I-” He screwed his eyes shut, taking a deep breath. 

Nesta knew that those three words were not ones Cassian had heard very much in his life. Shirina had likely been the first to say those words to him in his memory, and that hadn’t been til his teen years. Cassian’s mother had most likely loved him, but Cassian’s memories of her were sparse. 

Enalius certainly loved Cassian, but Nesta was just as certain that he would not say it out aloud. Enalius showed his love through his coaching, his cheering, and the letters he’d send from all over the world. 

Ayla, Rhysand, and Azriel also loved Cassian and weren’t shy about it these days, although none of them were particularly vocal about it either. They preferred to show it through gifts and hugs and jokes and advice. When they had met, however, they had all been preteens who wouldn’t have been caught dead saying the words ‘I love you’.

Cassian had certainly had flings and girlfriends in the past. Nesta didn’t know the details of all of his past relationships, but she could easily guess that those words had seldom or, more likely, never been exchanged.

“It’s okay,” she whispered. “You don’t need to say anything right now.” 

And then, just because she could — because she now had the freedom to say it without being caged by fear — she added, “I love you, Cassian.” 

Cassian answered with a kiss that said, ‘I love you more than words can ever express.’

__________

Present day

“I was such a mess,” Cassian recalled fondly. “Rhys and Az laughed at me for bawling so much.” 

“I remember Gwyn saying that she could take the trophy if it was making you so sad,” Nesta added. 

“Nah, I think I’ll keep it,” he laughed. Then, he added, “I love you.” 

“Are you talking to me or the trophy?” 

“Oh, the trophy, for sure.”

“Oh, good, just wanted to make sure.”

They grinned at each other.

“You have no idea how I felt when I saw you make that heart that day,” he said. “I mean, I was already elated because of the goal I’d just scored, but that couldn’t even compare to how I felt when I looked up at you. I think my heart literally skipped a beat.” 

“Better visit a cardiologist then,” Nesta answered lightly.

Cassian flicked her nose. She shrieked loudly in return.

“You know what you sound like?” Cassian tapped a photo in the middle, which was surrounded by doodles of musical notes.

Nesta mock-gasped. “Excuse you, I wasn’t that bad.”

“You’re right, you were worse.”

__________

Three years ago

“What’s that?” 

Nesta pointed towards a large, lumpy black bag resting against Cassian’s bedroom wall. 

“Oh, sorry, I was practicing earlier and forgot to put it away.” Cassian moved the bag to his closet. “It’s my guitar.”

Nesta placed her hand on Cassian’s wrist before he could shut the closet. 

“You play guitar?” 

“Yeah, it’s something I picked up when living with Shirina. I’m not a pro or anything, but it’s a fun hobby, you know.” 

“Wow, would you… could you play something for me?”  

Cassian seemed surprised but nodded, pulling the guitar back out of the closet. 

He sat down on the floor, his back resting against the bed. “What do you want me to play?”

Nesta sat down beside him. “Anything you want. Just play me something you enjoy playing.”

Cassian absently strummed the guitar a few times, deep in thought.

“Alright, sweetheart. Here we go. This song is called la rosa del principe.” Cassian closed his eyes and started playing. 

Nesta watched him with bright eyes, mesmerized. 

After a while, he started singing. His deep voice complemented the melody he was strumming. His singing was nice, but it was the passion in his voice that warmed Nesta’s insides. 

“Wow,” Nesta whispered when the song ended. 

Cassian chuckled. “Shirina loved that song. She’s the one that signed me up for some guitar lessons, you know. She taught me the lyrics to la rosa del principe when I told her I didn’t know them. She was always humming the melody when she was cooking or doing chores or whatever. I think it was a song her mom liked, so it reminded her of her childhood.”

“Does it remind you of your childhood?”

Cassian took a moment to contemplate his answer. “It reminds me of Shirina, and how kindly and lovingly she treated me. That wasn’t really a common theme in my childhood, you know, but I suppose you could say it reminds me of some of the best parts of my childhood.”

Nesta nudged his shoulder with hers comfortingly. He gently pushed back against her in a silent gesture of gratitude. They sat in comfortable silence for a moment. 

Then, Nesta pressed a kiss to his cheek and whispered, “Could you teach me?” 

Cassian swallowed roughly and nodded. 

“The lyrics are kind of complicated, since it’s not in English, but I can just teach you the chorus for now if you want.”

“Sure,” she smiled.

Cassian spoke the lyrics slowly. Nesta tried to repeat after him, though she didn’t do the best job judging by Cassian’s chuckles. 

“Close. It’s tramonto, not tremare,” he corrected. 

“What do the lyrics mean?” Nesta asked. 

“The song is a love letter to a rose. It’s a metaphor for loving something so delicate and impermanent,” he explained. “The song is from the point of view of this guy who is so powerful — he’s a prince, he can travel across galaxies, he can do whatever he wants — but he feels so powerless because he knows he can’t control what happens to this rose that he loves. And even though he’s rich and powerful, he gets lonely a lot and his rose is his only companion so he dreads the thought of leaving it or having it disappear.”

“That sounds kind of tragic.”

“I guess so, but it’s not sad per se. It’s more like a reminder of the importance of love rather than materialistic things, and not taking your loved ones for granted.” 

He kissed her cheek. 

Nesta smiled. “That’s beautiful.”

Cassian hummed in agreement. “It’s such a Shirina song. She loved songs with morals like that, that remind you to appreciate what you have. She was so down-to-Earth, even though her husband was one of the richest, most powerful people around here. It’s…” He trailed off with a sigh. 

“I’m glad you met her,” Nesta said quietly after a moment. “She sounds like a great person and I’m so happy you had her in your life.”

“Yeah, me too.” He took a deep breath. “I wish you could’ve met her. I think… I think she would have loved you.” 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

They sat quietly for a moment. Then, Cassian grinned mischievously. 

“Cas! What the fu-” yelped Nesta as he lifted her up. 

He placed her between his legs with a huff of laughter. She leaned back into him, her back pressing against his front. 

Cassian placed the guitar in her lap. 

“Alright, it’s time for you to learn how to play this magnificent instrument,” he declared. 

“Okay, but I’m just warning you, I don’t really have experience playing instruments.”

“Don’t worry, sweetheart, I’m just here to help you learn some basics. Besides, you’re a dancer so you have some experience with rhymes and stuff. How bad could you be?”

Holding her hands in his, he demonstrated how to hold the guitar and how to strum a basic chord. 

“You got it!” Cassian cheered as Nesta played a C chord that didn’t sound half bad. 

“Ok, so then,” Cassian moved their hands to a different position. “Use your pointer finger to hold down this string. Good! Your middle finger holds this one and your ring finger holds this one.” 

He continued his explanation of different chords and strumming patterns. 

“So, basically, you just hold down different strings and strum up and down for different notes, right?” Nesta asked as he finished.

Cassian chuckled. “Basically, yeah.”

“Alright.” Nesta wiggled her hands free from Cassian’s grasp and took a dramatic deep breath. “It’s time. I’m going to play.”

He raised an eyebrow. “What are you going to play? I haven’t taught you how to play la rosa del principe yet.”

She shrugged. “I’m just going to let my imagination and inspiration guide me.” 

“Uh, I’m not sure that’s going to turn out-”

A jumbled chord cut him off. 

“Um-” 

What followed next was the most chaotic, screechy minute of guitar playing Cassian had ever heard. The torture likely would have continued for longer, since he didn’t have the heart to stop Nesta, if they hadn’t been interrupted by the Cassian’s bedroom door slamming open.

Azriel yelled, “Cassian! I think a cat is dying in your ro- oh, hey Nesta.”

“Hey Az!” she replied, beaming at Cassian’s roommate until she registered his words. “Wait, what? You think I sound like a dying cat?” 

Azriel took a step back, prepared to run away, as Nesta stood up and placed the guitar in Cassian’s lap. 

“Well, you know, uh, it’s good to practice and all, but we don’t want noise complaints from our neighbors, or allegations of animal abuse so…” Az smirked.

“Wha- animal- Get back here you little-” Nesta sprinted down the hallway, chasing after a cackling Azriel. 

Cassian was still sitting there, laughing, when the two of them ran back into the room. 

“Save me, Cass!” Azriel pleaded as he tried to hide behind his friend. 

Nesta smirked. “You really think you can use my boyfriend against me like this?”

“He was my friend first!” Azriel gripped his sleeve.

Nesta rolled her eyes. 

“Please Cassian,” she said in an airy voice. She looked up at him through her lashes and gently tugged on his sleeve. 

He followed her lead without even thinking, until Azriel muttered, “Traitor.”

“Hey, wait-” Cassian interjected, coming to his senses.

Nesta stuck her tongue out at Az. “He loves me.” 

Whatever Cassian could have said on Azriel’s behalf dissipated when her eyes softened as they met his. 

Even Azriel’s over-the-top gagging noises couldn’t ruin the moment as Nesta smiled at him and murmured, “Can you teach me how to play la rosa del principe later?” 

“We’ll see,” Cassian replied with a smile, knowing full well that he’d cave into her demands, no matter the cost to his ears.

__________

Present day

“I love that you wanted to learn how to play guitar for me.” Cassian’s eyes were warm and full of mirth. “Even if playing music isn’t exactly your strong suit.” 

Nesta placed a hand over her heart. “How dare you suggest such a thing.” 

Her stern demeanor gave way to playfulness as she winked, “I guess you’ll just have to sing and play music for me while I dance.”

“Exactly. You see, Nes, we complement each other perfectly.”

“A match made in heaven,” she agreed with a laugh. 

“Honestly, though, it meant a lot to me that you wanted to hear me play,” Cassian said when they stopped laughing, “and that you wanted to learn.”

“It meant a lot to me that you were willing to share such a personal song with me,” Nesta answered, “and that you were willing to be so open with me without prompting. It was like a sign, you know, that our relationship was actually real and meaningful to you, too. Of course I already knew that but, like, I guess it just hit home right then.” 

“Yeah, I know what you mean. In that moment, I also felt how easy it was to be open and talk about anything and everything with you.”

“You see?” Nesta winked, gesturing between them. “We’re made for each other.”

She glanced down at the pictures between them. 

“At least I don’t need to put up with Az insulting my musical talents anymore, now that you don’t live together.”

“Talents?” Cassian coughed. 

Nesta shot him a warning glare before continuing, “I’m so glad I don’t need to hear him complaining or interrupting us anymore. That was the real reason I asked you to live with me, you know — so I wouldn’t have to hear his whining.”

“Oh, I’m well aware,” he replied. He leaned closer to her. “It was all part of my plan, Sweetheart.”

__________

Two years ago

“Don’t mind me, I just need to get to the kettle.”

Nesta and Cassian sprung apart at Azriel’s words. 

Azriel, with a bored expression, walked past the couple into the kitchen and filled water in the kettle. 

Cassian hastily redid his fly, clearing his throat a few times. Nesta, blushing furiously, scrambled to hook her bra and do up the buttons on her shirt. 

Azriel turned back around, leaning back against the counter as he waited for the water to boil. He reached into his back pocket for his phone, but noticed Nesta’s expression and rolled his eyes. “Oh my god, Nesta, chill. It’s nothing I haven’t seen before.” 

Cassian furrowed his eyebrows. “What?” he growled. 

Azriel shook his head in exasperation. “How many times have I walked in on you two making out — hell, how many times have I walked in on you two fucking in common spaces? At this point, I’m immune to all this.” He waved his hand at Nesta’s half-open shirt and Cassian’s bare chest. 

Cassian slipped his shirt over his head. 

“Really?” Nesta asked, arching a perfectly angled eyebrow and tossing her hair over her shoulder. Cassian elbowed her and she giggled, buttoning up the rest of her shirt. 

“Az-” Cassian began, annoyance coloring his tone.

“No,” Azriel interrupted firmly. “If you don’t want me to walk in or interrupt you or whatever, go do whatever you want in your room. I’ve never once complained about the noise, even when I have to put up with your loud-ass moans and screams. But I have the right to make tea in my own house if I want to.” 

Cassian narrowed his eyes. His stance changed unconsciously, gearing up for a fight. He opened his mouth to deliver a biting retort. 

“You’re right, Az,” Nesta interjected before the situation could escalate any further. “We’re sorry.”

Azriel was silent, his eyes fixed on Cassian. The latter let Nesta pull him towards his bedroom. 

About a week later, Cassian and Nesta were once again interrupted. This time, Azriel crunched loudly on his popcorn as he walked into the living room.

Cassian sent him a questioning glare as Nesta scrambled to cover herself.

“What?” Azriel replied, unfazed. “I was gonna watch TV, but, well, it seems like there’s a show right here.”

“Look-”

“C’mon, Cass.” Nesta sprung up from the couch, dressed in Cassian’s shirt, and took her boyfriend’s hand. “I needed to talk to you about something, anyway.” She winked at him and whispered, “I got a little side-tracked and forgot.”

Cassian shot Az a dirty look as he exited the room. 

“Did you actually need to talk about something,” Cassian asked with a smile as he sat down on his bed and placed Nesta on his lap, “or did you just want to distract me?”

He leaned his forehead against hers. 

Nesta laughed lightly. “Contrary to popular belief, I don’t always lie to manipulate you.” 

He widened his eyes in false disbelief. “Really?”

She shook her head with a grin. “Why would I when I can manipulate you just as well with the truth?”

“Ooh, you saucy witch,” Cassian joked.  

They both laughed.

Nesta pressed a hand to Cassian’s cheek to stop him as he leaned in to kiss her.

“I do actually want to talk about something.”

He leaned back and cocked his head. “What’s up?”

The twinkle in Nesta’s eyes dimmed.

“It’s my apartment.” She swallowed. “My landlord is raising the rent.” 

“Again?” he replied, alarmed. It had only been four months since the last time her rent had increased.

She nodded. “Yeah. And it’s not… I mean, it would be ridiculous for me to stay there, even if I managed to afford it. It’s definitely not worth the new rent.”

“So you want to move?” 

“Yeah.” 

Cassian seemed confused by her nervous tone. “Alright, well, don’t worry about it, okay? I’ll help you with all your stuff, and I know a guy with a moving truck. It’ll all be okay. We’ll find you a way better place to live.” 

He gave her an encouraging squeeze and smile that she didn’t return.

“Uh, well, um. Actually, I was wondering if…” Nesta rolled her lips.

Cassian frowned, concerned by Nesta’s hesitant tone.

“Could I- I mean, I already spend so much time at your place,” she continued, “and I stay here a lot and we- um. Since I have to get a new place…”

“Of course you can stay here while you look for a new place!” Cassian replied.

“Oh!” Nesta sounded surprised. “No, I- I mean, thank you. But, uh, that’s not really what I was gonna…” She shook her head, annoyed at her own incoherence. “That’s really sweet of you, Cass.”

Cassian gave her a long look, trying to decipher her thoughts. “Are you trying to find a place on this block? I can try to get the inside scoop if that’s what you were asking.”

“No, no, that’s not what I-” She took a deep breath and then looked into Cassian's eyes. “Would you want to live with me?”

Cassian blinked. “Oh! Oh, I-” He started to grin. Then, he blinked again, and his face fell. “Oh, uh, I…”

“It’s totally fine if not!” Nesta quickly backtracked. “I know you already signed this lease and stuff, and I can definitely just move-”

“No, it’s- I-” It was Cassian’s turn to take a deep breath. “Nesta, I would love to live with you and I’m honored that you asked me and I’m- I’m so, so happy that you want to live with me. But, well, I just don’t know if it will work out, considering.” He shot a glance towards the door. 

Nesta got up from Cassian’s lap. “Oh.” She looked away from him as she gathered her clothes off the floor, trying to disguise her hurt. “Um, okay. Yeah. I get it.” Her thoughts spiraled as she changed out of Cassian’s shirt.

“Nes! Nesta, I…” Cassian seemed to be at a loss for words. “You know I love you, right?”

“Yeah,” she replied half-heartedly after a beat. 

“Nes, I just…” he sounded frustrated. “You know how things have been lately, with Az. As much as I… I don’t think it’s realistic to think that he’d be okay with it, and of course I’d talk to him beforehand but, like, it is his place too and…”

She gave a noncommittal hum in reply.

The room was drenched in tense silence.

“Can you just be honest?” Nesta said finally, puncturing the tension. “If you don’t want to move in with me, just say it. I understand you’re renting this place with Az, but he isn’t unreasonable. We both know that if you talked about it, he’d be cool with it. Maybe he’d ask you to wait for a bit, until the end of this lease or whatever, but he wouldn’t stop you. So just tell me why you don’t want to live with me, because I- I thought we were… that this was…”

“I am being honest,” Cassian frowned. 

She gave an irritated sigh. 

“No, really, I am,” he insisted. “You were there with me in the living room, weren’t you? Didn’t you see how pissed he was? I guess maybe it wasn’t- Az isn’t the type to yell or anything. That quiet, passive-aggressive type shit is how he expresses his annoyance.”

“So?” Nesta bit back. “If anything, I would have thought he’d be glad if we weren’t here as often.”

“Exactly! I don’t think we should spend more time here.”

Nesta paused. “What?”

“I know you and Az do get along,” he said, “but I really don’t think he’d be fine with you moving in here.”

“Here? Wait, you thought- Oh. Oh!” Nesta brightened visibly.

“What?” Cassian seemed bewildered by her sudden change in mood. 

“Cassian, I wasn’t asking to move in here,” she laughed. “I was asking you to move in with me at a new place we’ll find together.”

Cassian’s eyes widened in realization. “Oh! Yes, of course, I’d love that! Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I thought- but- yes!”

Nesta grinned. “I should’ve been clearer, sorry about that.”

“No, no, it’s on me.” His face slowly spread into a grin. “Guess we’ll have to work on communicating better if we’re gonna live together, huh?”

“I guess so,” she beamed.

Nesta embraced Cassian tightly. 

“We’re living together!” she whispered excitedly.

He hugged her back. “Yes, we are,” he replied just as thrilled.

__________

Present day

“I can’t believe we were so stupid,” Nesta laughed.

“I know right?” Cassian looked down at the photo once more. “No, but seriously, I was so elated when we moved into this place.”

Nesta smiled fondly. “Yeah, me too. I smiled for, like, 48 hours straight, even though we had to carry all those boxes and,” she paused dramatically, “unpack.” She shuddered. 

“Ah, yes, unpacking — the harshest of struggles.”

“I’m so glad you understand.”

“Oh, no, I don’t mind unpacking, but well,” Cassian ran a hand through his hair suavely, “some people are just built different.”

Nesta flipped him off playfully.

“Aw, sweetheart, don’t be jealous,” he replied consolingly, “I have my own weaknesses. Like, I hate packing.”

She huffed. “Cass-”

“What? Oh, c’mon, what’s the point of my trauma if I can’t joke about it?” 

She shook her head with a chuckle. “So you’re saying that all that trauma was just character development so you could increase your humor stats?”

Cassian pointed finger guns at her. “Cha-ching! Now you get it.” 

Nesta laughed. 

She looked around, still awed by the beautiful display Cassian had set up for her. She picked up a rose petal and admired its color and scent. As she fiddled with it, she was suddenly struck by a thought. 

“Where are Ara and Lina?” 

“They’re with Em,” Cassian said reassuringly. “Don’t worry, I’ll clean all this stuff up before they get back.”

“Oh, they love being at Emerie’s place. They get along so well with Siph, it’s crazy.” Nesta paused, struck by another thought. “Wait, but why did you ask her to watch them? I mean, why did you organize this whole-”

“Remember when we got them?” Cassian interrupted, pointing to another polaroid. “They used to be so tiny! It’s crazy how much they’ve grown.”

Nesta cocked her head, confused by Cassian ignoring her question. Before she could continue her line of questioning, however, her eyes landed on the photo he was indicating and she got sidetracked. 

“Oh my gosh, yeah,” she breathed as she reminisced. “I can’t believe we thought we were going to walk into the shelter without adopting a pet.”

“I can’t believe we told the landlord that we didn’t care about the pet policy because we were never going to get one,” he answered. 

“We’re so lucky we accidentally got an apartment that allows pets,” she agreed. 

“I’ll never forget the look on Cresseida’s face when we told her,” Cassian added. 

She replied, “She made sure we’d never forget. She was saying ‘I told you so’ for months.”

__________

One year ago

 “We’ll stop by for a bit, but we’re not adopting any pets,” Nesta repeated for the fifth time in the past ten minutes.

“Okay,” Cresseida answered with a knowing smirk, “but it’s also okay if you change your mind.”

Cresseida, Emerie’s girlfriend, ran a pet shelter with her best friend, Nuala. She had invited all of Emerie’s friends to stop by anytime, saying that she and the animals enjoyed having company. 

Nesta and Cassian had resisted at first, since they weren’t looking for pets and, in Nesta’s words, “weren’t the pet type”. Neither of them had ever owned a pet before. While they respected people who loved their pets, they also enjoyed making fun of those who dressed up in matching outfits with their pets for Halloween and talked about their pets as though they were their children. Also, while Nesta didn’t dislike animals per se, she also didn’t like them enough to feel any desire to live with one 24/7, let alone take care of one. Cassian liked animals well enough but he’d had some bad experiences with stray dogs when he was a kid. When they visited friends who owned big dogs who would greet visitors by pouncing on them or barking excitedly, Cassian would always plaster a fake smile on his face, but she’d feel him flinch.  

However, when Emerie used her puppy-dog eyes and pleaded with Nesta to just go once to support her girlfriend’s work, she’d caved and agreed to visit. Cassian and Gwyn — both of whom had yet to visit the shelter — came along with her, saying they should all just get it over with together. 

“This side of the shelter has dogs,” Cresseida said as they walked in, “and this side has cats. There are also some other animals in the back section. Feel free to walk around and ask me if you have any questions. Right now, most of the animals are in their individual kennels and the kennel doors are locked but let me know if you want to play with any of them.” 

“Alright, thanks,” Nesta replied.

She and Cassian shared a look. Both of them wanted to humor Cresseida, who was a great person and also the best girlfriend Emerie had (at least in Nesta’s opinion), but they both knew they wouldn’t be interested in any animals. They would just wander around the shelter until an appropriate amount of time had passed and they could politely leave. 

“Ooh, a kitten!” Gwyn exclaimed, grabbing Nesta’s hand and pulling her into the cat section.

Meanwhile, Cassian followed Cresseida into a different area.

 “Oh my gosh, this baby is only 12 weeks old,” Gwyn cooed at the striped tabby cat. “Isn’t she adorable?”

“She is cute,” Nesta admitted, but Gwyn had already moved on.

“Wow, this cat has the prettiest eyes I’ve ever seen! Oh, and look at this one! Do you see the face he’s making?”

Nesta laughed and followed her friend, nodding along to Gwyn’s excited commentary. 

Finally, Gwyn came to a halt with a gasp. She kneeled down wordlessly in front of an orange kitten, who blinked back at her sleepily. Nesta kneeled down next to Gwyn. She looked at the kennel in front of her. A jet-black cat was at the other corner of the kennel, hissing and growling at the young boy who was trying to attract its attention. His mother pulled him away just as the cat attempted to scratch the child through the glass. 

“Crazy feral cat,” Nesta heard the mother grumble under her breath as they walked away. 

Nesta raised an eyebrow at the cat, who regarded her with an equally judgemental expression. Nesta took a step closer to the glass. The cat did the same. 

She tuned out Gwyn mumbling something. Instead, she turned her focus to the tag on the kennel.

“Oh, wow, you still don’t have a name even though you’re eight months old, huh,” Nesta said. She had always thought it was a bit silly how pet owners talked to animals as though they could really answer, but now she found it to be the most natural thing in the world. Especially when the cat meowed in response.

Nesta cocked her head. The cat studied her for a few seconds. It stared intensely with its yellow eyes. Then, it tilted its head, copying her. 

She couldn’t help but melt. How was it possible that such a sweet cat had yet to find a home?

“Nesta! There you are!” 

Nesta jolted as Cresseida’s voice interrupted her thoughts. 

“I see you found little Miss Onyx over here,” Cresseida smiled. “I’ve never seen her be so friendly with any customers before.”

“Is her name Onyx, then?”

“Oh, no. We have tried to name her before, but she seems to hate every name we’ve tried, so we kind of gave up,” Cresseida explained. “We couldn’t keep calling her ‘the unnamed black cat’, though, so now we just refer to her by black object names.” Cresseida turned towards the cat. “Isn’t that right, Blackberry?” 

The cat hissed and retreated to the corner of her kennel closest to Nesta. 

Cresseida laughed. “See?” Then, she sent Nesta a knowing glance. “She seems to adore you.”

Nesta glanced back at the cat, who was now sitting with a paw on the glass.

“She is very cute,” she admitted. 

“She is,” Cresseida agreed. “Sadly, she’s fierce enough that she scares away most customers.”

“It’s like she’s made for Nesta!” Gwyn piped up. “I mean, look at her spunky attitude, her fierceness, her witchy vibes — since, you know, she’s a black cat.”

“I don’t have witchy vibes,” Nesta muttered.

Gwyn ignored her. “Not to mention, she’s right next to Mer,” she pointed to the orange cat, “who is my soulmate cat so our cats are destined to be best friends, just like us!”

“Wow, I didn’t- I haven’t said I’m adopting her yet,” Nesta protested.

“Yet,” Gwyn repeated, wiggling her eyebrows playfully.

Cresseida laughed. “Well, let me know if you are seriously interested in adopting Miss Obsidian. There’s a few things you would need to keep in mind for her that we should talk about.”

Nesta nodded.

“What about Mer?” Gwyn asked. “Any special care she needs that I should know about?”

“Not really. We did have her on a special diet for a bit because she was slightly malnourished when we found her but she’s at a healthy weight now.”

Nesta walked away as Gwyn and Cresseida continued their animated discussion. How was she going to convince Cassian to adopt a cat? Actually, Nesta knew that wouldn’t be an issue — Cassian would surely jump at any opportunity to make her happy. The real question was how she was going to put aside her pride and admit that she wanted to adopt the cat. She would also have to see if Cassian wanted to adopt the cat, too, and not just for her sake. It would be unfair to both Cassian and the cat to bring her into a home where only one person truly loved her. Not that Cassian wouldn’t be kind to the cat, regardless — it was just that Nesta wanted Cassian to adopt the cat because it made him happy, instead of doing it for Nesta’s sake. 

Nesta was so wrapped up in her thoughts that she walked right into someone. 

“Excuse me,” Nesta apologized. The man turned around.

“You’re excused, Nes,” Cassian replied with a wink. 

“Oh, fuck you,” she groaned, holding back a smile. 

“I know I’m hot, but you’re gonna have to wait til we get home.” 

She replied with a soft punch to his shoulder. Cassian fell to the floor dramatically. 

A bark sounded from the kennel right in front of Cassian. Nesta quickly examined Cassian for any signs of fear, but he wasn’t flinching. Instead, he tugged gently on her arm. 

“Nes,” he said with a grin as she sat down beside him, “Let me introduce you to my new friend, Lina.” 

Nesta turned to find a large golden retriever wagging her tail energetically. She was beautiful and friendly, but she also definitely weighed more than twenty kilograms and had a full set of sharp teeth. In short, she was exactly the type of dog that Cassian would usually be uncomfortable around. 

Yet, here he was, saying, “Look, I know we agreed that we were just looking around and we weren’t going to adopt any pets but look at her! Her cute paws, that gorgeous fur, and those eyes! And she’s so happy to see me! Doesn’t it just make you want to keep her forever?”

His expression said it all: he’d fallen completely in love with this dog. 

“Cassian…” 

His expression dropped. “I know taking care of a pet is a lot of work. If we did adopt her, I would walk her and figure out her food and vet stuff, but she would be living with both of us, so I would never want to adopt her if you weren’t completely on board. And having a pet would affect our lifestyle and our day-to-day lives a lot, so I understand if you’d rather not adopt her.”

“Do you want to adopt her?” Nesta blurted out. 

Cassian looked confused. 

“I mean, she’s obviously a beautiful and friendly dog, but she’s in a kennel right now,” Nesta explained. “If we adopt her, she could jump on you or bite you or scratch you. Won’t you be on edge having a dog in our apartment all the time, even if you’re tired or having a rough day?” 

“All the other dogs I’ve met make me nervous, either when they bark or pant or just by being close to me. They remind me of rough times in my childhood, when I was scared and in danger. But for some reason, Lina is different. I don’t get any of that fear or anxiety around her. In fact, it’s the opposite. She makes me feel relaxed and happy. I think she actually makes me feel safe.” Cassian ran a hand through his hair. “Weird, huh?”

Nesta smiled. “I’m glad you found her. I still want you to take her for a walk before we sign anything if we’re going to adopt her.”

“Wait, but- We don’t need to adopt her just because I want to. If you don’t want a pet, you shouldn’t agree just for my sake,” he added hurriedly. Still, Nesta could see the corners of his mouth tilting up. 

“Yes, I want to adopt her! And,” Nesta continued, seeing Cassian opening his mouth to argue, “do you really think that I would ever agree to something I didn’t want to do, just for someone else’s sake?”

“Yeah, I do. I know you’re a big softie,” Cassian teased. 

She laughed. “Well, trust me, I do want to adopt a pet.”

“Of course she wants to!” Gwyn interjected, appearing seemingly out of nowhere. “You should have seen her with that cat. It was like she’d found her twin flame! No offense, Cassian.”

“Wait, what cat?” he replied, befuddled. 

Nesta attempted to wave him off. “It’s nothing-”

“It’s not nothing!” Gwyn interrupted animatedly. “It’s her cat soulmate! A little ball of anger and adorable-ness, just like our little Nesta here.”

Nesta sent her friend a flat look. “Thanks a lot for that description.”

Gwyn just shrugged. “What? You know I’m right.” 

“Where can I find this cat?” Cassian asked. 

Gwyn pointed him in the right direction, telling him about all the ways in which the cat represented Nesta while pointedly ignoring Nesta’s calls of “No, it’s fine” and “You don’t need to go look at the cat” and “I don’t have spooky evil vibes!”. 

“Aww, look at her,” Cassian smiled as he crouched in front of the black cat’s kennel. 

The cat hissed in return.  

“You’re so beautiful, aren’t you? Yes, you are! Good girl!” cooed Cassian. 

The cat abruptly stopped hissing. She stared at him unblinkingly before purring quietly.

Gwyn erupted with laughter. “Wow, she really is just like Nesta, huh? Everything down to the praise ki-”

Her words were cut off as Nesta covered Gwyn’s mouth with her hand. 

“What the fuck, Gwyn! She’s a cat! That’s disgusting,” Nesta hissed in her ear. 

Gwyn licked Nesta’s palm, and used the moment Nesta recoiled as a distraction to pull her hand off. 

“I just tell it how I see it,” Gwyn declared. “And I have never once been disgusting.”

“Oh really?” Nesta replied, bringing the hand Gwyn had licked close to Gwyn’s face. 

Gwyn screeched and ran down to hide behind Cassian.

Cassian remained focused on the cat. “Oh, you’re such a sweetheart. What’s your name, baby?”

“She doesn’t have a name yet,” Nesta supplied, before bringing her licked hand around Cassian to reach for Gwyn. The redhead let out another shriek and ran. 

Nesta could see the moment Cassian melted. His posture seemed to go soft as his expression turned even more tender. 

“You don’t have a name yet, huh?” he murmured. “I guess you need a family to give you a name and a home and some love.”

She placed her non-licked hand on his shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. She didn’t need to ask to know that he was thinking of his own childhood — when he’d needed a home and a family, too. 

“Don’t worry, sweetheart,” Cassian whispered, “me and your mom are going to give you so much love.”

“Cass, are you sure?” she questioned gently. She ignored how it made her feel to hear him refer to her as ‘mom’. There was too much to unpack there, and she would save it for later, after they’d finished making important decisions. 

“Look at her, Nes,” he replied. “It’s like she was made for us.”

Nesta knew it was more than just about the resemblances between her and the cat that Gwyn had pointed out. It was about how this cat hissed and growled at strangers, putting her guard up, but really was just a sweet kitten who needed some love. Both of them could relate to putting on a tough face to hide how vulnerable and hurt they really were. She knew Cassian was thinking that this cat would be a perfect addition to their lives.

“But what about Lina?” Nesta insisted. 

“You love this cat. Don’t try to deny it, I can tell.”

“That’s not an answer.” 

“I think,” Cassian said carefully, “we both love this cat and we should adopt her.”

Nesta narrowed her eyes. “And what are we doing about the fact that we both love Lina?” 

This wasn’t just about the animals, and they both knew that. 

It wasn’t that Nesta didn’t think Cassian wanted to adopt the cat — she knew he really, truly did. But she also knew that he wanted to adopt Lina. She wouldn’t let him give up on his wishes and always put her needs above his. While she appreciated the sentiment, she also knew he had a tendency to discount his own desires. She needed him to know that what he wanted mattered just as much.

Cassian let out a big breath like a deflating mattress, the fight going out of him. 

“I love Lina, I do. And I know it’s so special that I feel so safe around her — around a big dog with sharp teeth. But Nes,” his voice took on a different tone, “at the end of the day, she’s a friendly golden retriever. I’m sure a million families with white picket fences are lining up to adopt her. And this cat… I mean, she doesn’t even have a name.” 

His Adam's apple bobbed.

“I know we could love either of them, and they’d be incredible. But at least with Lina, I know she’ll find someone else to take care of her. I don’t know if this cat will find that, and she’s too…” Cassian paused to search for a word. His nose scrunched in frustration as his vocabulary failed him. “She’s too precious for me to take that chance.” 

He needed his kitten to find a home. He couldn’t risk her never finding a family — not when he had so much love he could give her. 

Nesta contemplated silently. 

“Okay,” she finally said, her eyes piercing through him as though she intended to read his heart. “If you’re sure that’s what you want to do, we’ll get this cat.”

Cassian smiled. “Look at us, being real adults. Can you believe we’re going to be parenting this cutie?”

“Parenting,” repeated Nesta with a snort. “Don’t say it like that. It sounds like we’re having a baby or something. People are going to think I’m pregnant.”

“Oh my god, you’re pregnant?” Gwyn exclaimed, reappearing next to Nesta from wherever she’d run off to. She had clearly only caught the tail end of Nesta’s sentence. 

“Wow, I’m so excited to be an aunt! Do you know the sex yet? Wait, how far along do you need to be to know that? How many months are you, by the way?” Gwyn spoke too rapidly for anyone to get a word in. “I had no idea about this! How have you been hiding the morning sickness? Or does everyone know about this already? Oh, gosh, this is so exciting!” 

Nesta stayed silent, trying to hold in her smile. Cassian just looked bewildered. 

Gwyn gave Nesta a light hug. “Oh, wow, this is crazy! Am I the first one to know? Wait, is it ok if I tell people? You can tell me if it’s still a secret, don’t worry.” 

Cassian blinked. “No, that’s-”

“Oh, perfect!” Gwyn squealed. She reached over to hug Cassian, too. “Oh, I can’t wait to tell Emerie! Oh my god, and Az! His reaction is going to be insane!” 

She practically skipped down the hallway, her fingers already tapping away on her phone.

Cassian raised an eyebrow at Nesta. “What just happened?”

Nesta finally let out a laugh. “Just Gwyn being Gwyn, I suppose.”

“You don’t mind?”

“I’m actually curious to see how far this goes.” She leaned forward, pressing her side against him. “Do you think they’ll throw me a surprise baby shower?”

“Rhys is going to be so pissed I’m having a baby before him,” Cassian grinned. “It’ll be hilarious.”

“We could tell them we’re having a daughter,” Nesta added, jerking her head towards the kitten.

Cassian laughed. He stood up and stretched out his body, likely feeling a slight ache because he’d been crouching for several minutes. He leaned over and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “This is why I love you, you mastermind.”

His lips brought with them a wave of warmth that spread through her veins.

“Time to go tell Cresseida that we are going to adopt a pet after all,” Nesta chirped. 

Cassian groaned. “How about you go tell her, since you’re the one who was looking at this cat first,” he suggested.

“But you made the final decision,” she countered. 

“Well, no, I,” Cassian wracked his brain to find an excuse, “I think you would, uh, be better at filling out the paperwork.”

“Hmm,” Nesta tapped a finger to her chin and pretended to consider his offer, “How about… you do it?”

They were saved from their squabble when Gwyn reappeared with Cresseida in tow.

“So, can I take Mer home with me today or should I set up my place to be cat-ready first?” Gwyn was saying. 

“Ah, Cresseida! Just the person we were looking for!” Cassian interjected. “Nesta wanted to ask you something.”

Nesta sent him a frigid side eye that would have sent anyone else running for the hills, but only made Cassian grin. 

“We were thinking about adopting her,” Nesta said, pointing at the cat in question, “and were wondering what we need to do to make that happen? Is there just paperwork or something else we need to do?”

Cresseida’s expression changed completely. “I knew you would all walk out of here with pets!” she exclaimed triumphantly. Then she sobered slightly. “I’m so glad you’re interested in this cat, but like I mentioned earlier, there is something you should know.” 

Nesta nodded sharply. The anticipation and anxiety started to creep up on her. Was the cat sick? Or disabled in some way? Perhaps she and Cassian, as first time pet owners, weren’t equipped to give her the care she needed. 

“When we found her, she was only about two months old,” Cresseida explained. “We’re not quite sure what happened to her mother, since she didn’t seem to be with her family. But she had already bonded to another animal. They’re still quite close. Even though they’re generally kept in separate kennels, we usually let them play with each other once or twice a day, or she’ll start to get antsy. If at all possible, it would be best not to separate them. It may be possible for her to get used to living without her bonded friend, especially if she’s in an environment where she’s well-loved and taken care of, but it would be very difficult on both of them. So if you would consider adopting both of them, that would really be for the best.”

“Like, another cat?” Nesta inquired.

“It’s not Mer, is it?” Gwyn asked, looking worried. “If it is, I guess I’m going to have to move in with Nesta and Cassian.” Her face suddenly brightened. “I can be like a live-in nanny!”

“No, it’s not Mer,” Cresseida replied, “and it’s actually not another cat. It’s quite a unique situation. We’re still not sure how these two found each other and came to be bonded, but the other animal is actually a dog.”

“Oh.” Nesta felt her heart sink. She would hate to separate the cat from the one other animal that had been with her since she was a baby, but she also couldn’t adopt a dog. She wouldn’t allow Cassian to feel unsafe in his own home. 

“We could adopt both-” Cassian began, just as she knew he would.

“No,” she cut in. She didn’t care if it made her seem like the villain in Cresseida’s eyes. “I’m sorry, we can’t.”

Her eyes shifted to the kitten once more. The cat truly was adorable. Nesta would miss her tremendously, even though they’d only just met. Still, she couldn’t separate her from the friend who’d become her family. She would have to let her go. It hurt, but she knew it was for the best.

“I don’t think we’ll adopt her after all,” Nesta said. Though she had once prided herself on hiding her true emotions from the world, she could tell that both Gwyn and Cassian instantly read the meaning behind her aloof tone. 

“Yeah, you’re right, that’s probably the right decision,” Gwyn supplied. “Adopting pets and having a baby at the same time would be really hard.”

Cassian kept silent. She knew he was itching to deny it, to demand that she adopt the cat anyway, his feelings be damned. She was glad that he knew her well enough that she would not be swayed, and that his well-being mattered more to her than anything else. 

Cresseida sighed, disappointed. “I understand,” she said, resigned. “Dogs aren’t for everyone, especially if you have a lot on your plate. This dog really is the sweetest, although if you are allergic, a golden retriever wouldn’t be the right breed.”

“Hold on, did you say a golden retriever?” Cassian interjected. “You’re not talking about Lina, are you?”

Cresseida looked surprised. “I am, actually. I assume you’ve already made her acquaintance, then?”

“Wait, you’re saying we can adopt both Lina and this cat? And they wouldn’t fight or hurt each other?” Cassian repeated, as though he couldn’t believe his ears. It sounded too good to be true.

“They do play-fight occasionally, but no, they don’t hurt each other and they get along great. But, I understand that you can’t adopt a dog,” Cresseida answered, slightly confused. 

Cassian turned to Nesta. 

“Did you hear that, Nes? We can adopt them both.” 

He was beaming. 

“They’re so perfect,” he repeated as they brought Lina and the cat home a week later, after they’d made all the necessary preparations. “It’s like we were made to find them.”

She felt like she was floating, swept up by the exuberance in his eyes.

When she watched the kitten curl up in Cassian’s lap while Lina sat beside them, a paw resting against the cat’s back, she couldn’t find a name for the feeling that bubbled up inside her. The only viable contenders — love and contentment — seemed too small to capture it all.

When Cassian later asked her what she wanted to name the cat, she looked at the life they’d built together — the bookshelves lined with hockey history books and romance novels, the kitchen counter where Cassian’s favorite chocolate lay beside her mountainous tea collection, the polaroid pictures of them stuck to the fridge with magnets, and the pets filling their home with affection — and replied, “Ataraxia.”

Peace. 

__________

Present day

“I can’t even bring Ara and Lina around Cresseida anymore,” Cassian grumbled. “She always just talks about how incredible it was that we actually believed we’d leave her shelter without a pet.”

“She’s a menace,” Nesta agreed, though her words lacked any real bite. 

They both adored Cresseida, and were delighted at how happy she made Emerie. It was only that Cresseida shared their friend group’s penchant for teasing their friend mercilessly. 

“Her cooking is amazing though, so she makes up for it,” Nesta continued. “I had no idea vegan food could taste that good until I met her.”

“Speaking of cooking…” Cassian pointed to the last photo. It was labeled ‘cooking breakfast’.

Nesta leaned in closer to inspect the image. “When was this?”

“What? You don’t remember?” Cassian gasped in mock offense.

Then, he took her hand. “Don’t worry, I’ll remind you.”

__________

Three months ago

Cassian awoke to the birds chirping and the smell of pancakes permeating the air. He rolled over in bed, reaching out for Nesta, only to find her side of the bed empty. 

He let out a small sigh. 

It was a Saturday morning, and his favorite thing to do on weekends when they didn’t have anything planned was to spend lazy mornings in bed with her. During the week, both of them were too busy to linger in bed. Snoozing their alarms once was the extent of their indulgence. 

But on weekends, Cassian liked to savor the feeling of Nesta lying beside him. He would lay in silence, taking it all in — the blankets warmed by their body heat, the way Nesta’s hair glowed in the morning light, the gentle pressuring of her body laying against his. Eyes half-open, he would breathe deeply and allow the peaceful contentment to fill his lungs. When Nesta woke up, there would be time for slow kisses, quiet conversations, and tender lovemaking. Their room would fill with soft but unbound laughter and playful quips. Later, they would make their way to the kitchen. One of them (usually Cassian) would cook brunch while the other did the dishes, swept the floor, or started a load of laundry. 

This morning, it seemed that Nesta had broken their usual routine. 

As Cassian rolled out of bed, his eyes caught the alarm clock on his bedside table. It was 10:05 am, far later than he usually woke up on weekends. Cassian was almost always the first to wake, generally around 8 or 9 am, and he’d lay patiently until Nesta gained consciousness around 9:30. 

Clearly, he’d been exhausted last night. It had been a long day of training, and then they’d gone out for dinner with his friends. After coming home, he and Nesta had watched a movie and then spent an hour tussling in their sheets. He’d fallen asleep as soon as he closed his eyes. 

Cassian pulled on a pair of dark jeans and strolled out of the bedroom without bothering to find a shirt. 

He found Nesta at the stove, flipping a pancake. She looked ethereal with her long hair down and shimmering in the light that flowed through the window. 

“Morning, Nes,” he said after taking a moment to appreciate the view. 

Nesta’s long legs were bare. She was dressed only in his striped button-up shirt which ended right below her butt. As she turned towards him, he could see that she hadn’t bothered to do up all the buttons on his shirt. The V dipped deep enough that, had she been wearing a bra, lacy bits would have peeked out, but she’d clearly thrown the shirt on without it. Was she wearing any underwear?

She sent him a small smile in greeting. 

“Can’t believe you didn’t bother to wake me up,” he teased as he pulled one of the hair ties off his wrist and put his probably messy hair into a neat bun. 

“Well, it seems like I tired you out last night and you clearly needed your beauty sleep,” she shot back. 

“Are you trying to imply that I didn’t tire you out?” 

She shot him a smirk. “Well, I was up first, wasn’t I?”

He narrowed his eyes at her, even as he held back a smile. He loved this easy back-and-forth, joking banter. “I’ll have to remedy that tonight,” he declared. 

“Aww, did I bruise your little ego?” 

She moved the pancake to a plate, and poured more batter into the pan. 

“There’s nothing little about me,” he joked before walking up behind her and gently wrapping his arms around her. He was careful to steer clear of her arms, so that they wouldn’t accidentally touch the pan or the stove and get burned. 

He rested his head in the crook of her neck. “I missed you this morning,” he whispered. 

“Couldn’t survive a few minutes without me?” she answered. He couldn’t see her face, but he could hear her smile in the warmth of her tone. 

“You know I’d be lost without you,” he answered. His tone was light and humorous, but his words were no less sincere.

She let out a small, fond chuckle. “Good thing I was only making breakfast then.”

He inhaled deeply. The smell of her vanilla and jasmine conditioner mixed with the sandalwood scent that lingered on his shirt. His neck was at a slightly awkward angle, bent down to accommodate Nesta’s forward-leaning posture as she cooked, but Cassian knew he’d be happy standing like this forever. 

He stayed there for a few minutes, until Nesta stilled in his arms. He knew she needed to move in order to put the pancake on a plate and couldn’t do so with Cassian wrapped around her, but she also didn’t want him to let go. 

He waited for a heartbeat, then gave her a slight squeeze before unwinding his arms. Before pulling away completely, he pressed a light kiss to the back of her neck.

Then, he walked over to the utensil drawer to start setting the table. 

When he sat down, his eyes flickered to Nesta’s figure, waiting for her to join him. He was itching to serve himself one of the pancakes in the middle of the table and bite into deliciousness. They smelled absolutely incredible. 

However, Nesta walked over with the pan still in her hand. She plopped the pancake from her pan straight onto his plate. Unlike the other pancakes, it wasn’t shaped like a circle.

“It was misshapen, so it reminded me of your face,” she quipped as she sat down after putting her pan in the sink. 

“Very funny.” He rolled his eyes, but couldn’t stop his smile. The pancake was shaped like a perfect heart. 

As they dug into their food, Cassian felt the domesticity seep into him. He knew how the rest of the day would likely go. They’d wash up together, and then Cassian would head out for a run with Lina while Nesta curled up on the couch with a book. He’d come home and shower, then make her a cup of tea. Later, they’d change the bedsheets, make a list of the groceries they needed to pick up, and chat, before watching a movie or ordering takeout. They’d end up having sex on the couch or in the shower — anywhere but on their freshly changed sheets — and then fall asleep curled around each other with Cassian’s arm slung over Nesta’s waist. 

Their lives had fallen into a routine. And Cassian loved it. This peaceful life they’d built together could never be boring — not when they always filled it with so much playfulness and their jobs were filled with drama by necessity. The regularity was a blessing, not a curse. When Cassian walked through the doors to this apartment, he felt the tension of the outside world fade away. He felt at home.

He loved the life they had created together, and couldn’t imagine anything better than having mornings like this one for the rest of his life. 

The thought should have shocked him, but it did not. He’d known for a long time that this was coming, but it was only now that it had fully sunk in.

He looked across the table at Nesta and caught her eye.

“What?” she asked with a grin.

He reached over and laced his pinky with hers. 

“Nothing.” He smiled. “I love you.”

She shook her head fondly at his cheesiness, but still replied, “I love you.” 

He wanted to declare his love for her in front of the whole world, and then spend the rest of his life with her. He couldn’t think of a better way to spend his life than dedicating it to loving her. 

That day, he started researching rings. 

__________

Present day

“I love you,” said Cassian. His eyes shone brightly. “I love all the moments we’ve spent together and the memories we’ve made.”

He walked around the table where the pictures lay and grasped her hands. 

“I do too.” Nesta, although still confused by their impromptu outpour of emotion, was always eager to remind Cassian of just how much she adored him. “I love you so much.”

Cassian smiled. She could see that a million thoughts were swirling in his mind, but he took a breath to focus himself.

“I love you,” he said once more, as though he couldn’t help himself, just like he had after he’d first said the words. He’d been like a child who’d never been allowed sweets who had just been given a box of chocolates — he marveled at the fact that he had love in his grasp and he gorged himself on it, basking in the delight that he could say the words whenever he wished. 

“Every minute, every second I get to spend with you is precious to me,” he continued. “Whether we’re at a party, a restaurant, a vacation, a match, or doing chores at home, every moment with you turns to gold. You made my life so beautiful and meaningful and happy, Nesta, in a way I never even imagined was possible. Even in the harshest moments, I know I’ll be okay because I get to come home to you every night. You’ve helped me learn how to live, not just survive. Because of you, I can love openly. Because of you, I can be myself without worrying that I’m too much. Because of you, I can let myself feel joy, instead of constantly worrying that it’s going to be ripped away from me. I can only hope that I can make you half as happy as you make me.”

“You make me happier than I ever thought possible,” Nesta answered. She was certain there were tears in her eyes, but she couldn’t bring herself to mind. There were so many things that she could say — how the world had appeared cold and cruel, just like her reflection in the mirror, until she’d seen it all through his eyes. She would never stop being inspired by him — how was it possible for him to be so kind when the world had been so awful to him? How was it that he got wholeheartedly excited when it snowed, despite knowing the stinging pain of a cold night on the streets? His joy was infectious, and now she couldn’t help but admire the beauty in every little thing — children skipping down the sidewalk, the leaves changing color, and the birds chirping in the morning. 

Yet, she couldn’t find the words. How could she express the magnitude of her emotions for him, and just how much he’d changed her life? All she could do was look at him. 

He squeezed her hands gently and she knew he understood.

“You’ve made me a better man.” His voice was slightly raspy as emotion clogged his throat. “My life is so much fuller with you in it. We’ve made so many beautiful memories,” he said, gesturing to the pictures with one hand, “and I want to dedicate the rest of my life to making more. It would be the greatest honor to spend my life by your side. I want to fill that table with a million — a billion — more memories.”

“So, Nesta Archeron,” He released her hands. She blinked in surprise and found him kneeling before her, a small box open in his hands with something sparkling inside. “Will you marry me?”

Her gaze had gotten blurred with tears, but she blinked them away now. 

Cassian cut a stunning figure as he looked up at her, rose petals and candles glowing around him. His outfit flattered his body — the wine-red shirt showed off his muscular arms without being too tight and contrasted his skin tone well, bringing attention to his soft blush and curved lips to highlight his joy. His long hair was as glorious as usual, half of it pulled into a bun. 

Still, it was the look in his eyes that caught her attention. His beautiful hazel eyes, framed by his long, dark lashes, sparkled not only with love and joy, but also with breathtaking certainty. Unlike during that bookstore date so long ago, Cassian was secure in their love. She could see in his eyes that, even if she said no, he would not doubt their relationship for a moment. 

But of course, there was only one answer she would give to this wondrous man. He had come into her life like a fire, warming her and brightening her life in innumerable ways. 

“Yes.”

__________

Please tell me if you would like to be added or removed from a tag list! I haven't posted in a while so I'm sorry if the taglist isn't up to date.

Permanent taglist: @maastrash // @cass-nes // @notmewrongbitch // @verypaleninja // @courtofjurdan // @theoverlyenthusiasticwriter // @stardelia // @laylaameersworld // @thewayshedreamed // @thatsowlmazing // @meanceclosetohell // @jungtaekwoonie-is-life // @rowaelinismyotp // @bakingandbooks3 // @grandma-noob-lord // @awesomelena555 // @ bookstantrash // @ireallyshouldsleeprn // @illyrianshadowhunter // @swankii-art-teacher // @cookiemonsterwholovesbooks // @moodymelanist // @letstakethedawn // @nestaspegasus // @superspiritfestival // @perseusannabeth // @my-fan-side // @that-golden-lyre // @emily-gsh // @champanheandluxxury // @ simpingfornestaarcheron // @duskandstarlight // @ladynestaarcheron // @sv0430 // @nesquik-arccheron // @friendswithkevin // @dontgetsalmonella // @inkedstarlight // @arinbelle // @thegreyj Nessian taglist: @makainight // @nahthanks // @cupcakey00 // @nessiantrashh // @audreycressworth // @lady-winter-sunrise // @wannawriteyouabook // @shamelessdonutkryptonite // @julemmaes

#nessian #nesta archeron #nesta x cassian #acotar #acosf #tw homelessness #tw mentions of abuse #tw mention of death #this is critical of rhysand and doesn't portray him as a feminist #sayosdreams fics #sayosdreams writing #sayosdreams

[bobfloydsbabe]

DEATH THREAT: REVISITED

On November 8th 2022, an anonymous person took issue with a post I made regarding the use of read more on long fics. All I asked in that post was that people used it, and if they didn’t know how, to google it or ask someone how. Simple. It should not have been offensive, and yet, someone took offense and started a tirade against me.

The post in question was this one:

(I know it says drafts, but I did post it here)

I put it in the Top Gun Maverick tags because that's where I spent my time. Usually I wouldn't, but I was fed up with having to scroll past 5k word fics, so I wrote this post. Could I have worded it differently or been nicer? Sure. The ask that followed was this one:

In the next one, they asked me to be kind. I made many of the same points as I did above, as seen here:

This response was clearly not the one they wanted, so they turned to name calling, vile accusations, and inappropriate sexual messages. I'm going to use the read more here to 1. hide the asks I got because they're upsetting and 2. shorten this post. No one wants to scroll forever to get past this.

Some of the asks I received included but were not limited to:

That last one is in reference to a message I answered, asking what evidence they had of me being into bestiality. I also do not have twitter.

This went on for hours, and while I was initially laughing, at some point it turned. I started feeling really upset and anxious about it. I remember shaking. Then came the death threat. It caught me off guard. I wasn’t expecting it, and honestly, calling it a death threat might be a little extreme. Nonetheless, the threat of harm shocked me. I replied, trying to give off an air of nonchalance, when in reality, I was freaking out.

After that, I got a few more asks, upset I was calling it a death threat. I started calling it a threat of harm instead, because it felt extreme. After those asks, I turned off the option to send anonymous asks, which I had not done in all the years I’d been on Tumblr. I had to protect my mental health. I reported it to tumblr support and took a few days off the hellsite to give myself time to process.

Eventually, Tumblr got back to me, telling me they were “sorry I had a bad experience with anonymous asks” and told me to block the anons. I was furious. They dismissed not only me, but the threats I’d received. When I sent in my original ticket, I made it clear they could contact me if they needed more information. They never did. I’m still pissed about that. This was before you had to have an account to send anonymous asks, so they could still come back. I had to block five separate asks to get all of them to disappear.

Anonymous asks are currently open, but I'd be lying if I said I don't still get anxious when I see that grey icon in my inbox. I'm still scared they could come back and start up again. I'm finding it easier to turn off anon these days, and I've had to do it several times since then to protect myself further. I won't hesitate to do it again.

If you read this all the way to the end: Thank you for reading. I know this doesn't affect anyone but me, but I wanted to share this post, regardless. I want to thank the people who have been there for me through it all, and the ones who've listened to me talk about it. I appreciate you.

For now, I'm looking forward to celebrating 10 years in recovery from self-harm next week. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

#helena rants #anon idiocy #tw death threats #anon hate #personal #i don't know why i posted this #i'll probably delete it #but for now it's here

[twig-tea]

Thai QL Favorites Tag Game

Tagged by @telomeke and @waitmyturtles, thank you both for the tag!

Credit: this game was created by @thatgirl4815 as Thai BL Favorites Tag Game.

I want you all to know before I start that asking for favourites is biphobic so you're going to have to ignore the places where I bent/ignored the rules about how many choices I was allowed to have. Also, this is so long, and took forever, I'm so sorry:

Favorite Thai QL:

I could caveat this until the end of time, but I'm going to go with the definition of "favourite" that's "has a special place in my heart" rather than necessarily "best"; and that's undoubtedly Until We Meet Again. I got very not normal about this show. When it was airing, I used to rewatch every episode before the new episode, and then rewatch the newly aired episode at least once before binging the show to date again. And I've binged it several times since. Sometimes if I need to cry, I'll put on the first 10 minutes and ugly-sob. This show felt like an apology and catharsis for years of built-up bury-your-gays induced trauma from queer media, in addition to a balm for all of the external relationship drama tropes in BL. I think I've talked about it around here somewhere before, how this show sets up all of the tropes for things that go wrong for couples in BL, and then everything is fine, over and over? And it was airing during the very start of the pandemic before the world was calling it a pandemic, when I was so worried about everything and governments hadn't caught up to being afraid yet, and I felt so alone, and this show over and over again said "it'll be ok", at a time I really needed to hear that. Plus it's got the whole epic-love-story-across-lives and the family acceptance redemption arc that as a still-only-partially-out-to-my-family-in-my-30s queer absolutely destroys me. Anyway, there are other shows that I would agree are as good or better (shout out to He's Coming to Me, I Told Sunset about You, Bad Buddy, Not Me, The Eclipse), but UWMA remains my fave (and gets two gifs for being top spot).

Favorite Pairing: I have seen this interpreted as branded pairs & as fictional couple, so I'm going to take that excuse to answer both questions. I'm honestly not a fan branded pairs as a thing and agree with @lurkingshan's comments on this, I tend to prefer it when people continuously work with different actors. That being said, JoongDunk seem to be having a lot of fun with the whole fanservice game, which is fun to watch for as long as they're enjoying themselves and continue to be in on the joke, which seems to be the case.

Fictional couple? Right at this moment I am still thinking about Khatha and Dome from Midnight Museum. I think this one hit me in my Chinese epics button, because the story felt a lot like a danmei (not the least because you could argue it reads as censored bromance). But this show asks questions about fate, God, the devil, multiverses, and then has its characters choosing to reject all of the above in order to choose each other? SIGN ME UP. Legitimately it's the most fun I've had watching a tv show in awhile, it was bananas, and I loved the journey of Khatha figuring out who Dome was in relationship to Chan, and deciding to love Dome as Dome, at the same time that Dome was also figuring out who he was, and deciding he preferred who he was when he was with Khatha. But also just Tor + Gun are incredible actors (Tor having been a stand-out since Hormones and Gun of course since The Blue Hour) and I would watch either of them in anything, but together they were magnetic (and evidence for my earlier point re: branded pairs, as much as I enjoy Off & Gun together!).

Most underrated actor: I'm going to say James Teeradon. He had a few small roles in Hormones 2 & 3, Diary of Tootsies, and The Stranded, and he had the main role in Project S: Skate our Souls and in Great Men Academy. First, I should say, you could argue none of these classify as BLs. Second, all of these have trigger warnings, so please take care of yourself and feel free to ask if you want content warnings. But he's one of those actors who never looks like the same person in each role he's playing, and he absolutely gives me shivers. His performance as Boo in Skate our Souls was legitimately chill-inducing--this one in particular has serious trigger warnings, I put off watching it for a long time because I knew about the warnings and waited until I was in the right headspace, and it still messed with me for weeks. But oh man, oh man that show, it rewrote part of my DNA. I don't even know that under-rated is fair to say since there was buzz around him when he was in these shows a few years ago, but he was trying to make it as part of a band for awhile and he hasn't been in much since. If there's one person I want to see in something else who a lot of other people don't talk about these days, it's James.

Cheating and taking the opportunity to choose a second actor from definitely-a-BL series: Fluke Chinnathan from Second Chance the Series. While Second Chance had a lot of flaws, the acting by Fluke and Tong was stellar. Their micro-expressions and body language was unreal. I feel strongly enough about this that I wrote an ode to it as part of the BL-Bracket for best kiss scene. No idea what Fluke is up to or if he even wants to keep acting, but I'd love to see him in something else--he's one of the only other actors (than James, mentioned above) that I'll go in to MyDramaList occasionally just to check to see if they're in anything new. PS if you do give Second Chance a shot, please know going in that Run and Games, real life brothers who are both actors, are both in this series but never in a scene together, and their characters are similar, so a lot of people have trouble telling them apart without knowing there are two different characters in the show.

(Also, I 100% would have said Suar for this question before La Pluie, because he did not get enough credit for You're My Sky and I think he was incredible).

Favorite Character: Honestly, I've deleted my answer to this so many times now. Choosing one is so hard! I'm going to go with White from Not Me. Incredibly loyal, strong moral values (but willing to break the rules/law to fulfil those values because he understands that law ≠ morality), self-sacrificing, extremely competent in some ways, but also has serious blind spots in others that leads to him making very silly choices especially around who they trust, lacking in self esteem especially around whether or not people will want him around. The way he chooses to give up his privilege--not for his brother, because he could have found a way to go back to his old life after everything if he wanted--because he saw what was wrong with all of it and decided to do what he could to help fix it (and not participate in it) is something that really resonated with me. I also love that he is an absolute marshmallow who cannot hide that fact. Plus White being a disaster bi who wanted Sean from the beginning endeared him to me forever. And it doesn't hurt that he's played by Gun Atthaphan

Favorite Side Character: I have also started and stopped this section so many times. Natty and her absolutely terrible taste in women from Diary of Tootsies, Na being at some points the only reason I kept watching Tonhon Chonlatee, Namo being smart enough to know to pretend she doesn't know what's going on in Not Me, Tong the ecovillage owner from Bad Buddy, Daisy and their incredible gender and mix of self esteem + self esteem issues in Secret Crush on You.

Alright I'm giving it to Dream in Something in My Room. I don't have good reasons for this; her character was artistic, had supernatural powers, green asymmetrical hair, and was stoic with a hidden dark past, and I am a simple woman. I wanted to know everything about her.

Favorite scene in a QL: How can I choose just one?! I'm choosing three and you can't stop me.

Third place, Not Me, with Sean and White under the pride flag. It has everything: It's iconic, it's cinematic, it's cathartic, it's political, it's a critical character moment, it has great music, it's full of queer joy, and it brings me so much happiness every time I see it.

Second: Dean and Pharm in front of the Pra Aphai Mani & sea ogress sculptures in the aquarium in Until We Meet Again. Partially because I love aquariums so much, partially because this sequence is one of the first ones we really get to see the hints of Intouch in Pharm. The way he moves around that aquarium is nothing like how he moves at school or his condo, and it's one of the things that struck me so hard on rewatch; while that scene did so much work towards establishing their characters the first time around, the second+ time it has so much more meaning. The throwaway line by Pharm about relating to the ogress now gives me chills.

Plus the way the aquarium scene got called back in I Promise You the Moon makes me really happy.

But first and top, the one that will forever live in my mind for the way it made me feel in my body: Teh and Oh-Aew on the rug in I Told Sunset About You. That moment, my god. Butterflies. Chills. Chewing glass. Devastation. I don't know that I've ever felt any other scene so viscerally; it transported me back to being a teenager and cuddling in clearly non-platonic ways with my bestie and wondering what was happening. Thinking about it now still gives me goosebumps. Maybe a bit of a weird choice because of the pain but I don't shy away from some pain in my faves!

Favorite line in a QL: Honestly I could put one of several meaningful quotes in here, probably the ones I've thought about most being the one from Bad Buddy that a few other folks have noted ("I may not be able to change the world but the world can't change me either"); and "can't we just get a little bit of space?" from The Warp Effect that I mentioned in my Silvy appreciation post. but the first thing that came to mind was this cracktastic banger moment from En of Love: This is Love Story that runs through my head every time a character P-Nong's someone when they don't mean it like that (and especially when newbies get confused about whether characters are actually related):

"'P' but not brothers; the way 'daddy' [said in English] doesn't really mean father. You get it?"

--Param, being a little shit (affectionate)

But also I think special mention needs to go to this new and immediate classic by Tien in La Pluie:

Most Anticipated QL (& why): I am very excited for 23.5 and Only Friends, also WuJu Bakery (does that count if it's Korean but starring Thai actors?) but....This is niche and might never happen, but MindTrio announced awhile ago that they were going to put out Chemistry in Love, which was either a sequel or related to Calculating Love? Listen, this is a low-budget production company making a slightly quirky trope-filled shorts that tend to have pretty cinematography but falter a bit on plot and pacing, and in Calculating Love the main character hits on his love interest with a series of math/graphing equations and coffee. I fully acknowledge that I am a particular kind of nerd, but I just really, really want to see people flirting with their Extremely Geeky special interests. Some sort of of follow-up to Calculating Love has been a maybe-thing since 2020, so it's most anticipated by amount of time I've been waiting. I have a list of 290 "upcoming" shows that may or may not ever happen so I'll stop there.

Healthiest relationship in a QL: I was very persuaded by @waitmyturtles' arguments re: King and Uea, and I thought about My Only 12% and even wrote a whole thing about Tinn and Gun from MSP before deleting it.

But I'm going to use this soapbox to give a hot take and say, by the end of the series, that it's Nuea and Toh from Secret Crush on You. Both of them have secretly loved each other for the whole series, and shown it in their own very unhealthy ways: Toh by keeping a collection of everything that reminds him of Nuea, and Nuea by being extremely cool-guy persona around Toh. But by the end, both of them have aired their insecurities about their relationship, and have committed to working on their relationship together. Toh stops assuming that they will break up (which Nuea explained was hurtful to him) and declares he'll fight for their relationship in front of Nuea's parents, and Nuea allows himself to be seen as very uncool through his vulnerability, and is more open about his uncool thoughts and feelings. I remember them being surprisingly healthy about jealousy too, once they're together, showing trust in one another when that photography club kid shows up. Nuea also makes a really sweet gesture that I think gets misunderstood at the end of the show; Toh explains that his collection makes him happy, that Nuea is more important so he'll give it up if he has to but he really, really does not want to. So Nuea finds a way to make the collection about them rather than about him, so that he can embrace it too and be less discomfited by it. I feel like there's not enough "meeting people where they are", and too many makeover fantasies in romance for my tastes. Instead, Secret Crush on You said listen, people are weird, and we all just need to find the other weirdos whose jagged edges fit with ours. And it's work figuring out together how they will fit, and they won't fit perfectly, but that's ok. As long as everyone is comfortable, it can be a little weird. It may be less realistic than say the way similar themes are handled in Utsukushii Kare, because behavioural change (especially around self-worth) is hard irl, but the question wasn't about which relationship is most realistic lol SCOY also said embrace cringe culture and I am here for it even if it is sometimes hard to watch because it is SO CRINGE; but I respect it for living its truth.

Most toxic relationship in a QL: Oof. I am a strong believer in "if it works for them, that's their business", as is probably evident from above, but the reveal of what was going on with King and Peat in Love Area (parts 1 & 2) was really next level BS and managed to be both toxic and ableist, so it gets a special mention and no gif.

Guilty pleasure series: I don't really subscribe to feeling guilty about liking things, but I have a bunch that don't get a lot of love and I fully understand why lol In addition to the example of Calculating Love above (which is like, a 6 on MDL, and TBH harsh but fair), I really enjoyed I Will Knock You. Maybe it was just the novelty but I loved the character of Noey so much, his vintage aesthetic, the amount of time spent around and in temples, and the most adorable closing credit sequence of all time (shows that have closing credit sequences that reflect the main relationship in the show is one of my favourite tropes!). The criticisms about it, especially the ones about the Thi character, are fully valid and I would not actually recommend it without a lot of caveats (e.g. warnings for blushing virgin trope + age gap, and sooort of glorification of gang membership?), but I had a great time.

Also maybe Y-Destiny episodes 9 & 10? Tohru and First as Kaeng and Puth, whew. I have a special place in my heart for storylines where the characters sleep together as friends with benefits and then have to renegotiate those boundaries because I've lived it more than once lol (Only Friends when?!). But the ending episode for the series was actually so offensively bad, I like to forget it exists.

Most underrated series: You're My Sky and He's Coming to Me have already gotten a lot of love so I'll just say YES to those. Would have said My Ride before this recent release to YT. Does Triage count if it's nominated for awards but nobody ever talks about it (probably because the distribution was so messy)? I think My Only 12% doesn't get enough love because of the pacing of the last episodes, but the rest of the show was SO good.

But I'm going to take this opportunity to get on a sandbox about Diary of Tootsies (spanning S1, S2, and the movie sequel Tootsies and the Fake).

This show is not BL; it is decidedly queer. There is no single love story, and if there is, it's undermined. And yet, because it's a comedy, it also gets overlooked in the lists of Important Queer Viewing (which is fair, honestly, that is not a read). But it means my blorbo of a show often doesn't get hyped up, so I'm taking the opportunity.

This show I would argue sits squarely in the by/for/about queers category as per @wen-kexing-apologist’s by/for/about Venn diagram. Watching it feels like a group hug; it's so very clearly written by actual queer people (even if this wasn't confirmed everywhere online, the screenwriter is out and speaks about this, but it's also just obvious) and I recognize so much of my friends and people I've known in these messy queers. It deals with casual sex, drug use, HIV, adoption, being closeted at work, and more.

It is also so funny. I didn't think I liked toilet humour until Make it Right and Diary of Tootsies proved me wrong. I honestly think about the scene with Natty and the handbag in the car approximately once a month. And the opening sequence of the sequel film!! What a choice for opening credits. And these queer friends are mean to one another, even in the moments they're being supportive of one another, and it is both familiar and delightful (also reminds me of this post by @bengiyo about whether viewers still love us when we're mean). The found family tropes are STRONG in this one, friends.

There is some fatphobia, though I always struggle with how much to warn for that because this show also has one of the only fat characters in QL who gets a character arc, a love interest, and to be a whole person. And to dance! The dance sequencesssss especially in S2, oh my heart. So much queer joy in this show in general!

Last thing I'll say about this show is that it also gets left off people's lists because the "main couple" if you can say there is one is not the one most fans were rooting for--I will admit, myself included. But the narrative convinced me to be satisfied with what we got, which is honestly to its credit!

Anyway TL;DR Diary of Tootsies makes me extremely happy and I'm glad it exists.

OMG ok I am letting this go now. Tagging @redxblueihateloveyou because you've not been active for awhile so this way you'll see this whenever you come back, and @formayhem because we are newly buds and I'd be curious about your answers! At this point everyone else must have been tagged by now, so please just consider yourself tagged if you haven't done this yet and tag me so I see it! I've been loving reading everyone's answers.

#thai ql tag game #until we meet again #midnight museum #joongdunk #james teeradon #fluke chinnathan #not me the series #something in my room #i told sunset about you #en of love #la pluie #calculating love #secret crush on you #diary of tootsies #i will knock you #not tagging the show because of criticism

[beyondspaceandstars]

Treacherous (epilogue)

Relationship: Druig x Reader Warnings: N/A Summary: Soulmate!AU - Soulmate tattoos are incredibly rare but you’ve never felt really proud to have one. Everyone else around you gushed over it while you found the whole thing ominous and a little inconvenient. Truthfully, you were never really convinced you’d find your other half… That is until a random camping trip leads you to a quaint village run by a dark and brooding man who just so happens to be your soulmate. Stuck in the forest with nothing else to lose, you agree to join his world, his little village, and see if there’s actually love behind the markings. A/N: i guess we finally made it - thank you for reading and I sincerely hope you have enjoyed this fic, even though it took me forever to update. thank you for being patient and i pray this has lived up to any expectations. thank you for caring and reading! I write just to have fun but it's always nice when there's people to read it :)

‘Treacherous’ Masterlist | Main Masterlist

You made your way out to your apartment balcony, carefully maneuvering the tight space as you carried two plates filled with sandwiches and cups of soup. Druig was already sitting at the patio table. He’d been sitting there for a while scrolling on his new cellphone (or "cellular device," if you asked him about it). 

You two had made a pitstop on your travels to see a few of the Eternals and Sersi had insisted on keeping in touch the modern way. She shoved a phone into Druig’s hands and, despite his protests, he quickly became fascinated with the technology. It was still a very funny sight to you. You were quite relieved you find you weren’t missing your phone, though. 

"Do you have time to take a break from your phone for lunch?" You playfully asked as you placed a plate of food in front of your soulmate. He smirked and rolled his eyes before placing the phone on the table.

"I was reading about a farmer’s market that’s going to be not too far from here tomorrow," he explained. "We should check it out."

"Sounds nice," you replied and swirled your spoon around your serving of soup. It was evident that Druig missed the routine and community of the village. You noticed this pretty quickly after moving in together. He focused on very specific parts of living, such as cooking with particular organic vegetables. He was also very strict about security in your apartment. You never missed the protective eye he kept on, well, everything. 

Living together like this was certainly an adjustment. Even though it wasn’t the first time you two had shared the same home, it felt very different now. You were coming together in one household on almost completely different terms. There was a willingness and dedication to this life that hadn’t felt as real or tangible in the village. 

The place you lived in also felt very bizarre. It was a one-bedroom, cozy flat near the city but not in the heart of it. It screamed prime real estate to you. A place like this in New York would be mind-blowing. You didn’t know how Druig was able to obtain this flat but you also didn’t want to ask too many questions. All of the Eternals seemed to manage their livings on their own with ease and you would just go along with it for him.

 "Are you okay, darling?" Druig asked, pulling you out of your wandering mind. 

You nodded and took a bite of your sandwich. "That farmer’s market sounds really great. Hopefully, their growing standards live up to your demands," you joked. 

"I’m sorry for thinking we should eat well," he replied, making your joking tone. "Perhaps that diner you took me to traumatized me."

You gasped. "You certainly weren’t complaining at the time."

He smirked. "I finally had you back. I was a little distracted, I wasn’t thinking clearly."

Your heart suddenly felt like it was mush in your chest. You didn’t know how he constantly managed to do that to you. It never felt like it would fizzle. 

"There’s no need to woo me," you muttered as you felt your face get warm. "You already have me here."

"But that’s where you’re wrong. Because you’re here, I get to woo you every day, for as long as this world allows."

Now your stomach felt like mush. You had to force yourself to look away or else you would completely crumble under Druig’s gaze. 

"An art gallery a few streets over is looking for an intern. I was considering applying," you said, changing the subject. You had to shift it—he could go on forever working you up.

Druig smiled at your admission. "That sounds wonderful."

"Yeah?" You sighed. "Do you really think so? I wasn’t totally sure, my creativity has been lacking for a while. I… I haven’t done much of anything creative since the village. I never got to finish the blanket." It was such an insignificant part of the village but its loss didn’t get past you. You had remembered that first spark that it ignited in you, that moment you wondered if you were right where you needed to be. It felt so silly to admit, so silly to have a knitted blanket hold so much weight, but its loss could’ve foretold so much.

"I’ll get you all the yarn you want," Druig responded with no hesitation. "You’ll get to make a hundred blankets. You can fill the entire flat with them."

You couldn’t help but laugh at his enthusiasm. "I make traditional art, too."

"Any materials you need, consider it done," he replied. "Do you want a studio? We could rent a studio."

You quickly shook your head, trying to get him to slow down. His tendency to come on strong and eager had yet to fully fade, but you were starting to think it never would. 

"Let me start with the blanket and internship," you said. "Maybe I’ll get some paint sets as well. We can talk studios…at a later date."

"Sorry," he sighed. "I just want you to have everything. I… I don’t want you to regret this, not even for a second. I never want any more worries or fears running through your head."

You gave him a sympathetic smile and placed your hand on his where it rested on the table. You noticed he hadn’t touched much of his food, a seemingly uncommon occurrence for him.

"You can’t stop me from worrying, but I can assure you that, right here, right now, I’m very pleased with where I am in life. I’m happy in this apartment and I’m glad you’re the one I’m sharing it with."

You swore you heard Druig let out a sigh of relief but you ignored it.

"I think that’s all I’ve ever wanted to hear," he muttered. "I’m happy as well."

"Thank gosh," you said as a smile you couldn’t contain spread its way onto your lips. "Now, we should finish our lunch. I believe I was promised yarn."

"Anything for you, my beautiful, beautiful soulmate."

#druig x reader #druig x human!reader #druig fanfiction #druig x female reader #druig x y/n #druig one shot #druig oneshot #druig fic #druig fluff #eternals oneshot #eternals x you #eternals fanfiction #eternals fic #eternals x reader #marvel fanfiction #marvel fic #mcu fic #writing* #soulmate au

[soleilnomoon]

Hi again! Still absolutely adore your Kid fic from your last event 💜 Never got around to asking for a Sanji one, so here I am again😅 But seriously, congrats on over 550 followers!! Love seeing your blog grow, cause you’re really talented and deserve them all and legit can’t wait til you hit 1k+ 🥰

For the event order, may I please ask for a #1 with my boi Sanji, with anmitsu, konpeito, and keylime pie and with honey, please? 🥹 i hate this but need some sanji angst 😭

I also dunno if these three would work particularly well together for a prompt, so you can choose whatever! just really feeling angst and sanji rn and maybe comfort if you’d like 🥰

Thank you for all your works you’ve done so far 💜💜

hiiii omg haha i loved that fic fr (i'm obsessed w that man!!!) also ily for requesting sanji i don't write him nearly enough 🥰️ but thank you sm!! 😭 making me all soft and i am so so sorry this took forever, as u know i am so slow but!!! i had fun tormenting sanji w the angst ngl 💓💓💓💓 also those were great choices for the prompt, i wanted to write more but it would've been 8k words before i finished and who has time for that (i do, but listen... that's besides the point) ✨

2k words, fem reader (honestly gn too now that i think abt it), sfw (SHOCKING i know), 18+ mdni, a lil bit suggestive but nothing wild, angst angst angst city babey, fluff if you squint, also i gave u comfort bc u deserve it bb 💗(and sanji does too); feat. sanji being in denial forever and ever, mutual pining, fake unrequited love, reader is determined and sanji is a coward; also i made myself sad writing this but a good sad bc sanji deserves happiness and i'll fight oda if he doesn't get it i s2g... (if u see grammar mistakes/spelling errors... no u didn't 💗)

“loving each other began this way: threading / loneliness into loneliness / patiently, our hands trembling and precise.” — yehuda amichai

STEP 01:

what does it take to kill a soul? —

a question that’s posed unironically, without a hint of remorse or tact, the words precise and venomous, slicing through the thick veneer that he’s carefully crafted. he’s never been able to answer that question — not at six years old, not twelve or fifteen, and not at twenty-one. his siblings took pleasure in taunting him with seemingly philosophical questions, ones that clamped down onto his thoughts with heavy shackles.

even after he’s extracted himself from that life, he can’t scrub those memories from his mind — no matter how hard he tries. they sit, still raw and bloody, giving rise to unpleasant emotions that make his stomach churn from so many things left unsaid. he never set out to be a pirate, but piracy has given him the sort of freedom that he could only wish for as a child.

it’s with tender hands, with nimble yet graceful fingers, and with a fastidiousness that puts him in a category of his own, that he creates and creates and creates —

he’s told he’s an artist, which only pushes him to work harder, to be better. and when he asks himself why, he doesn’t have an answer. or, rather, the answer he does have only serves as a punishing reminder that he’ll never be good enough. no matter how many times his crew mates thank him — their emphatic, genuine praise a soft, warm breeze against his heart, gentle caresses that he commits to memory — despair still manages to infiltrate, a darkness choking out what little light he has left inside of him.

STEP 02:

how far are you willing to go to reach the truth? —

when you join the crew, he’s unnerved by your presence, which is wholly unlike him. usually, he’s able to put on his façade of the flirtatious cook, one that’s jovial and sociable, that lives to serve and please those around him. his first conversation with you ends in disaster; he spills the drink he tried to pour for you, despite your insistence that you are perfectly capable of pouring your own drink — and he knows it’s not out of malice, but it cuts into him all the same.

he tries again and again, bringing you little treats that you only agree to eating if he sits and eats with you; confusion eats away at his mind, and when he opens his mouth to decline, you pat the seat next to you and he acquiesces. he sits stiffly, at first, unsure of why he always feels on edge around you — an irritating need to impress you in a way he’s never wanted to for others grows stronger by the day.

you think it’s cute that he always seems flustered around you — that he stumbles over his words, refuses to hold eye contact with you for longer than thirty seconds — you also think it’s cute that the false bravado that he puts on for the world, diminishes immediately the second you come close to him. if he’s skittish, it’s because you always catch him staring at you; despite his quick reflexes, his reactions around you are slow but pure — childish, almost.

lately he’s clumsier and scatterbrained, nearly burning dinner when you decide to keep him company. you lean against the countertop, a teasing smile on your face — the same one that that caused him to bump his forehead against the cabinet door earlier — as you prattle on about a dream you had. he can barely keep up, his eyes drifting from the skillet to your face, gliding around the curve of your cheek, dipping lower in a slow descent along your neck.

he blinks repeatedly when he reaches your clavicle, stunned at his restraint; and it’s only when you call his name loudly that he realizes he’s left the heat on for too long.

“are you okay?” you ask when you see that he’s fussing over how best to save the dish, mouth moving as he quietly mutters to himself. he barely registers your voice, as an insidious one whispers harshly into his ears about his perpetual incompetence and lack of talent.

you can see that he’s retreated even further into his mind, a feat that also leaves you frustrated. you want to shake him but refrain and grab his hand instead. he snaps out of whatever stupor that held him captive just moments ago, lips parting as he sighs softly before glancing down at you.

“thank you.”

the words are quiet, but impactful, as he didn’t think he’d be able to get them out. you let go of his hand too soon, but he doesn’t say anything else, choosing to focus on cooking than embarrassing himself again in front of you.

you take his silence as a silent dismissal, but you don’t fight him on it — it’s bitter, that sort of rejection, and you swallow back your argument with great difficulty.

STEP 03:

what’s the difference between cowardice and self-preservation? —

frustration bubbles underneath his skin when he can’t find where he placed his lighter; he runs a hand through his hair and tugs on impulse, accidentally ripping a few strands from his scalp. they swirl and tumble onto the ground, pathetic in a way — just like me, but he never really says that out loud. he doesn’t hear your footsteps, although you did your best to remain as quiet as possible.

a cigarette sits in between his lips, and he has half a mind to toss it over the railing of the ship, but a warmth suddenly appears in front of him in the form of a flame. you found his lighter on the floor earlier and meant to give it to him, but every time you got closer, he found every excuse to leave. you don’t realize the impact you have on him — not really, anyway — because he’s genuinely surprised that you can’t hear the heavy beats of his heart that grow more intolerable the longer he hangs around you.

always afraid of being found out, he opts to keep his distance. it’s easier this way, he tells himself, better. but he doesn’t quite believe that; the evidence is plain as day when his tongue feels like its grown three sizes in the span of seconds, where his words get lost and forgotten. it’s all your fault, he reasons; you who insists on talking candidly with him, who insists on listening to him ramble about his dreams, who absolutely insists on stubbornly tearing down his walls, steadily chipping away without a care in the world. he looks at you as if you are the source of all his problems, but he also looks at you as if you’re the solution.

the intensity behind his stare makes your hands tremble slightly, it’s a miracle you’ve managed to keep yourself composed for this long. you light the end of his cigarette with ease, as if you’ve done this for him hundreds of times —and place the lighter into his pants pocket afterwards. if he wasn’t so used to you getting in his personal space all the time, he’d retreat immediately. the proximity is almost too much for him, but he doesn’t step back; you take that as a good sign and keep him company for a few minutes.

you don’t care for the smell of smoke, but on him it smells good. you almost tell him that, but instead bite down on your lip and keep your comment at bay, nerves getting the best of you as you nearly choke on the possibility that your feelings won’t be reciprocated.

another time, maybe. cheeks flushed, you turn your face to look elsewhere. although, you wonder if there ever will be another time. with him, you never know.

he’s still trying to figure you out and why he feels a different sort of calm around you; it’s alarming and new, drumming up an irrational fear within him. he doesn’t think he’s deserving of your attention or affection, and he’s convinced himself that you don’t harbor any romantic feelings for him. and why would you?

one by one, his thoughts pummel into him, acerbic and overwhelming. he exhales a sliver of smoke and puts the cigarette out. he gives you a quick, apologetic look before telling you goodnight, the smile on his face is melancholic and barely existent. you don’t dare say a word, keep your lips pressed together stubbornly; exasperated and dejected, you don’t know what’s worse — his inability to lower his guard around you for longer than ten minutes, or your inability to stop yourself from trying to carve pieces of yourself to give to him.

maybe if you helped him fill the gaping holes in his heart, he’d truly understand how you feel.

STEP 04:

if you had to do it all over again, would you do anything differently? —

sleep evades you after that night, and the night after that, and so forth; it gets so bad that you’re yawning in the middle of the day, falling asleep before you can have a cup of coffee or tea. this does not go unnoticed by the others, and after talking with nami, you feel less out of your element and finally can see the parts of sanji that he wants to keep hidden. her advice is simple: approach slowly and with intent; corner him and don’t let him escape.

you bide your time, full confident that you can find a moment to sit down with him and talk this all out. it doesn’t come easy, but franky mysteriously swaps sanji for the night’s watch — something that should strike you as odd, but it’s a small opening that you take without thinking as you hurriedly climb up to the crow’s nest with a renewed sort of energy.

even with his eyes closed, as he sits lazily on the bench with head tilted back against the wall, he knows it’s you.

“go back to bed,” he says firmly, refusing to look at you.

your stubbornness, unfortunately, wins out. “i’m staying.” at that he sits up, his attention completely on you as his eyes widen at your words. he wants to ask you why, but cowardice wins out — again. as his features soften, a flush crawls along his face, lightly painting his cheeks pink. he closes his eyes again, tries to steady his breathing as he counts backwards, only for his efforts to be obliterated with ease the moment you sit next to him.

as your thigh presses against his, you take his hand and on impulse you trace your fingertip along the lines on his palm. he watches you with a morbid fascination that scares him; but then you start to say things like, “you will live a very long life,” and “you are courageous, and you have a big heart.”

a small part of him wants to pull his hand away, so you won’t say anything else — but he remains put, so still that you almost think he’s stopped breathing. your voice is sweet and disarming, even when you carry on this charade of reading his palm. a belated realization hits him forcefully, making him blink several times; it dawns on him that you’ve always been so kind and gentle with him, even when you teased him. he’s spent all this time overthinking and hiding behind his past, that it never occurred to him that he could have simply let you in. you’ve never given him reason to believe that you’d betray or harm him intentionally.

he takes a deep breath, voice a little uneven, “i—”

you lean in close, adoration dripping onto your words as you interrupt him. “hey, have i told you?” the question glides along his skin, the words seeping into him as you continue, the lilt in your voice a honeyed, melodic spell. “you remind me of starlight and the mysteries of space.” your lips brush against his when you tell him that, and a warmth settles into the middle of his chest, makes it hard to focus. he doesn’t think when he curls his fingers around yours and doesn’t think when heleans down to kiss you — tender yet electrifying all the same.

the move disarms you in a way that doesn’t quite make sense to you, so you simply hum in approval and lean your head against his shoulder. a comfortable silence settles around you both, but you don’t mind that at all; it’s nice, not having to tip-toe around him anymore, and the demons that plagued him for so long don’t seem so intimidating with you by his side.

#fic request #milestone event #500+ followers event #🍭✨🍨sticky & sweet event🧁✨🍭 #one piece angst #one piece fluff #one piece x reader #one piece x y/n #vinsmoke sanji x reader #vinsmoke sanji x y/n #sanji x reader #sanji x y/n #sanji angst #sanji fluff #i love sanji a normal amt as u can tell

[whumpshaped]

i know you just posted it but i’m loving it so much, can you write a continuation of the whumpee falling back to take the feel-good drugs with their friend making sure they’re okay? i‘d love some hurt/comfort with the whumpee after the high has passed or with the high just passing? and now realising that they can’t keep the relapse hidden?

prev

tw drugs, relapse, addiction whump, past noncon drugging, past trauma, noncon mention/it’s kind of implied

The crash was always bad. Whumpee woke up groggy and thirsty, so very thirsty, and for a moment they didn’t even know where they were.

Was this the living room floor? Did they pass out in the living room?

“Alive?” someone asked from nearby, and Whumpee flinched. Fuck. They were supposed to be alone. “Sorry, did I startle you?”

As they kept talking, Whumpee realised it was just Caretaker. Just Caretaker. They didn’t even know whether that was better or worse than the complete strangers they had lured into their bed over the past couple of weeks. At least the strangers never asked any questions, or not any they could remember. And they definitely didn’t know Whumpee was supposed to be sober and recovering.

“It’s fine,” they muttered.

“I was gonna bring you back to bed, but you got fussy whenever I tried to touch you. It felt pretty understandable, so I just left you there.”

Fucking embarrassing.

“Thanks.”

Whumpee wondered how many more minutes would pass before Caretaker addressed the elephant in the room — or whether they could avoid it forever if they just stayed down, like a good dog. Whumper had many faults, but punishing a good dog wasn’t one of them.

“Would you like some water?” Caretaker asked, and Whumpee almost wanted to laugh. They would’ve done anything for a glass of water, but drinking meant sitting up, and sitting up meant facing the world. It was quite clever, really. Cunning.

Why were they trying to outsmart their only friend? What the fuck were they thinking?

“Please.”

They jolted a little at the sound of a chair being pushed back, but otherwise didn’t move while Caretaker filled a glass and brought it over, careful not to step on any limbs.

Well… There it was. The moment of judgement. They had to sit up now, and then they had to answer any and all questions Caretaker had. ‘Why didn’t you tell me?’ ‘Where did you even get it?’ ‘Are you fucking stupid?’

‘Why do I even bother with you?’

They wished they’d known the answer.

They slowly pushed themself up and took the glass, gulping it down all in one breath. Maybe they could get in one of their own questions before the barrage started. “Can I have more?”

Caretaker nodded and went to refill it, and Whumpee gulped down the second round just as quickly as the first. They should’ve been sipping it, they realised. That would’ve given them something to do while they were being yelled at.

But the yelling didn’t come, and Caretaker was surprisingly gentle as they took back the glass a second time and placed it on the coffee table. They sat down next to them, cross-legged and harmless, and took a deep breath.

“I was worried about you,” they said softly. “You’ve been out cold for hours.”

“I’m sorry,” Whumpee said instinctively, and Caretaker shook their head.

“No, it’s… I don’t want an apology. You don’t need to apologise. I just wanted you to know.”

Whumpee stayed silent, this time. They didn’t have anything else to offer other than apologies.

“It’s funny. I spent those hours trying to figure out what I’d say when you woke up, and now I just…” They shrugged, and Whumpee found they could relate to that quite a bit. “I don’t want you to think I’m mad. But I don’t want you to think I’m encouraging it. I don’t want to come across like I’m your mother, either. But I’m afraid I’m also not the cool best friend who’s gonna join in and have fun with you.”

“It’s not very fun,” Whumpee said quietly. “Or if it is, I can’t remember.”

“You know what I mean.”

“I know.”

Caretaker sighed. “Can I do anything to help?”

Whumpee didn’t really understand. They didn’t know whether the yelling was supposed to come before or after this question, because this question shouldn’t have come up at all. It was too nice for someone like them. Too valuable.

They didn’t know the answer either, that was another issue. What Caretaker had done… They didn’t exactly know what they had done, but it was probably good, because they were home, they barely felt nauseous, and they were fully clothed. So whatever they had done, it was honestly the best Whumpee could’ve wished for.

But were they really about to ask them to keep doing this?

“I don’t know,” they said slowly, and Caretaker nodded.

“Do you want to stop with the drug?”

“Yeah.”

“No, like… Really. Honestly.”

Whumpee paused, and they thought if they’d had more energy, they would’ve started yelling. Of course they wanted to stop. All it did was remind them of Whumper. All it did was get them into more disgusting situations. All it did was make them lose more time, steal more of their life, make them absolutely unable to even consider recovery and a future.

On the other hand, they didn’t really know what a clean future would’ve looked like anyway. It was a terrifying unknown, a world in which they had no excuse not to do anything and everything. A world in which there wasn’t an immediate, obvious problem to fix was an uncertain one; because what if it was still bad? What were they going to point to?

What would their dreams look like?

“I don’t know,” they said eventually. “I think…” I think I like having problems I can’t remember. They couldn’t say that to someone who felt responsible for trying to keep their life together. “I don’t know.”

Caretaker gave them a sad little look, and they wanted to kick themself for making them feel that way. “Why?”

“I’m scared,” they admitted reluctantly, as a clumsy sort of compensation. “I’m scared that it won’t change a thing. That it’ll still… be bad. That it’ll be worse. That always happens, doesn’t it? People point and tell you you’re supposed to be happy now, and… and then you’re just not. So many people have congratulated me on my ‘amazing journey’ and my ‘recovery’. My ‘sobriety’. It sucks.”

Caretaker considered their words carefully, and Whumpee couldn’t even imagine what conclusions a confession like this would lead to. But after a while, Caretaker placed a hand on top of theirs, looking into their eyes like they were about to make a very sincere pinky promise.

“Sounds to me you just want the amazing life you’ve been told you’d have without the drug, yeah?” Whumpee timidly nodded, and Caretaker squeezed their hand. “Alright. We’ll make your life so fucking amazing that you won’t wanna forget about it.”

#asks #whump #whump drabble #drugs #relapse #addiction whump #past noncon drugging #past trauma #noncon mention #recovery fic #comfort