#also how dare you tag me and make me feel all soft

[nanamiluvs]

a gentleman by heart !

pairings : nanami x reader, gepard x reader, artem wing x reader

rating : mature to explicit

wc : 1.4k

tags : reader is afab but no pronouns used, lots of kissing, established relationship, creampie, kinda rough sex, desperation, size difference if you squint, just a quick drabble abt these men

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

sexually reserved men who become feral once they get your consent.

he's a gentleman in every sense of the word. he holds doors for you, buys you flowers, remembers trivial details about you- the perfect man one could ever dream of. it's not a surprise he doesn't touch you often, he would hate to make you uncomfortable. even his touch is gentle, his large hand lingering on the small of your back to guide you through the crowd. tall, handsome, kind and strong- what more could you want from a man?

sexually reserved men who, at first, would never suggest intimacy. it's a gentlemanly act, but a result of his shyness at the same time. it's almost like he's refraining himself.

he brings your hand to his lips, kissing your knuckles as his eyes stare into yours, so soft. you feel how much he loves you by any and every action of his, how can a man be so perfect?

he excuses himself as he thinks you didn't notice the bulge in his pants nor the slight blush on his cheeks. it's frustrating at this point, why won't he just initiate something else instead of adjusting himself and pretending nothing is happening? you feel dared to make him come out of his shell, to finally do something out of his gentlemanly persona. well, it's not exactly a persona, he's really just that perfect. but you're almost sure there's also something else hiding beneath the waters.

his hand brushes against your knee as he drives, a fleeting touch, one hand firmly gripping the steering wheel when the other just shy of touching your leg. so you grab his hand and place it on top of your thigh, expecting him to blush and pull his hand back.

and he gulps and fucking squeezes the flesh. he runs his hand up and down on your thigh, like he was waiting for your sign to do so. no words are exchanged as his hands moves closer and closer to your core and returns to the base of your thigh once again. you clench your thighs together, not the type of touch you were expecting from your gentle boyfriend but one you were very welcoming of.

you should've guessed it was merely a starting point.

his touches only get more and more daring as time goes on. you give him an inch and he takes a mile. you two haven't discussed this subject openly at all, yet you both knew how his hands started reaching lower when they were on you, more free. you wwante even more.

so finally, when you told him that you wanted him to take you, he was not as surprised as you would expect him to be.

"i know," he says, his hands on each side of your hips as you were seated on his lap. his eyes stare into yours before giving in and hiding his face in the crook of your neck, "and i want you too. i need you so bad-" his sharp breath hits your skin and you almost feel the inner conflict he has going on.

that's why you cup his cheeks and look into his eyes. "then take me. make me yours."

he wets his lips. "i'm afraid i won't be able to let you go if i do so."

when you respond by simply pressing your lips against his, it's like a switch has flipped. his hand comes up to grab the back of your head as he flips you over on the couch, your body trapped underneath his. his eyes are filed with passion and desperation as his lips claim yours with fervor, taking your breath away and making your hands cling onto the collar of his dress shirt, pulling him closer.

he parts away, breathless as he kisses you once again. you don't know when he takes you into his arms and when he drops you on his bed, too focused on his lips and touch to notice. "you're beautiful," he whispers as he unbuttons his shirt, eyes reveling in the sight of your disheveled hair and flushed state.

you truly were the prettiest thing he had ever seen.

he's on top of you and his lips reunite with yours, shirt discarded on the floor before his hands tug onto your top, silently begging to get it out of the way. you let him do so, and his kisses trail down to your neck when he gets rid of the fabric. your hands grab his soft hair as he sucks on the sensitive skin, low moans escaping his lips from how much he wants to do this with you. the sounds you make goes straight down to his member.

soon, both of your clothes are discarded and his hand continues to fondle your breast, pinching and pulling the hardened bud between his digits while his mouth laches onto the other. he's gentle yet so rough at the same time, not giving you the time of the day to breathe. his mouth so wet and hot against your skin, he pulls away with a pop, panting as he, not even once, breaks eye contact with you.

his dick aches at the sight of your bare pussy, glistening with slick and looking just so pretty in his ehes. he leans in, to your surprise, his tongue licking a wet stripe across your slit. he delves in, he may not be very experienced but he's quite the quick learner, memorizing every single sound you let out to his movements. he soon has you tugging on his hair, pulling his head impossibly closer to your drenched cunt, riding out your orgasm in waves as he licks you through it. he grind his own bulge against the bed, chasing some friction on his needy cock.

sexually reserved men who are just so big and thick that you gasp at the sheer size of him when he takes the final layer off. your hand is not enough to accommodate his girth, and he's so hard since the visions he played in his mind were nothing compared to seeing your naked body. "i love you," you say as your arms wrap around his neck. he smiles against your lips and repeats the phrase before gently kissing you.

but you're not even sure if that thing can fit inside you.

that's why you're panting and moaning against his shoulder, his length sliding inside of you inch by inch. it's too much, you whimper, i can't take it.

sexually reserved men who whisper in your ear after leaving another mark on your neck, "you can. do it for me."

you sigh when you get used to his size filling your walls, every prominent vein you feel grazing against you, and he starts moving. he's so gentle at first.

yet that turns into relentless pounding with you screaming his name and grab onto him for dear life as he fucks you, drunk on the way your walls wrap around his dick and the way you call out to him, all thoughts about manners thrown out the window. he swallows your moans with his mouth against yours, kissing you as rough as he's having you.

sexually reserved men who grunt as he thrusts inside, even deeper than before with his long fingers rubbing your clit, sending you over the edge as you start begging him. you don't even know what you're begging for, it just feels too good and you don't know what else to do besides to take whatever he's giving you.

he whispers in your ear, telling you how much he loves you, how beautiful you are, how well you take him and how good you are for him, his words filled with so much love, how he wanted to do this for so long. it doesn't take long for you to cum again, milking his cock as he speeds up, your added slick making it easier to slide in and out.

he was going to pull out before he hears your words telling him to fucking come inside, eyes snapping up in shock before shutting down as his cock completely disappears inside your cunt and he can't hold back anymore. you feel hot ropes of cum fill you up to the brim, so full and warm that you couldn't think of anything else for a moment.

sexually reserved men who immediately check up on you after the high wears off, asking if you're alright or if he had hurt you. you pant and tell him no, you're just too fucked out to talk.

only when he leans down to kiss you could you feel his still-hard dick press against your thigh.

"...already?!"

"...i-i apologize."

nanami, gepard, artem

inspired by that one nanami twt <3

#jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk nanami #jujutsu kaisen nanami #nanami kento #kento nanami #nanami x reader smut #jjk nanami x reader #nanami smut #nanami x reader #nanami kento x reader #gepard x reader #gepard landau #gepard landau x reader #hsr x reader #hsr smut #artem wing x reader #artem wing #hsr gepard #artem x reader

[cevansbrat0007]

Sweet Tooth Deluxe

Summary: Ari teaches you a much needed lesson about ignoring him. Takes place directly after the events in Sweet Tooth.

Warnings: Smut, Mature Themes, Ari Being A Menace, Pussy Spanking, Minors DNI

A/N: Written for @daykrisr999 and @curls-and-eyeliner. Part of my Sweet Renegades Series. Semi-proofread, not beta'd. All mistakes are my own. Likes, comments, and reblogs are always appreciated. Thanks for reading!

Jesus, God you’d been at this for hours.

“Omigodfuck!” You sob, shoving your face into your lavender comforter. When Ari had promised to make your “pussy cry”, you hadn’t imagined he meant it like this. “Goddamn, Daddy. Please!” 

Well, fuck. While you’d also never called a man Daddy before, that name had already slipped from your lips several times tonight.

“That’s right, sweet Bird.” Ari snarls as he fucks you, his hips snapping wildly second after second. “You do need a Sir. You do need a Daddy. It’s about time you fuckin’ realize.”

“Uh huh!” 

“I should spank this juicy ass every day.” His hand comes down hard, making you cry out. It wasn’t the first time either. You were gonna be so sore come tomorrow morning.  

“Yes! Omigod, you should!” You bite the comforter, loving the way your man is so easily mastering your body. You’d earned this. You’d deserved this. 

Yes, Sir. Yes, Daddy. More, please.

You feel a large hand gently grasp your throat, forcing you to pull away from the blankets. “Wake the fuck up, sweet Bird. Watch how good I’m fuckin’ you. Tell me how good it feels.” A soft whine escapes when he licks the side of your face. 

He was marking you in this moment. Reminding you that you belonged to him. 

“I’m sorry!” You wail, loving the sound of wet flesh slapping against your own. You were so turned on, your body so needy. Shit, you could hardly stand it.

“We ain’t done, greedy girl.” Ari repositions you then, fisting a hand in your hair so that you can finally get a good look at yourself in your brand new floor length mirror. The same one he’d purchased for you for moments like these.

You look so well fucked that you hardly recognize yourself. Ari flashes a feral grin at the sight of your reflection, loving the way you moan for him when he adjusts the angle of his hips.

How dare you withhold your affection? Your attention? All because he’d accidentally eaten the wrong pie? Well, he’d show you.

“”Today.” He grunts, nibbling at your neck as he reaches around to lightly strum your clit. “You’re gonna learn how to talk to your man when he makes a mistake.” His palm slaps your wet cunt for good measure, the sound echoing throughout the room.

“Please!” 

"Say the words, brat! Before I bruise that ass!"

He bears down, increasing the already brutal pace. Fucking you harder. Oh God, this man was gonna be the death of you.

"Ohshit! Ungh!" You bite your lip hard enough to draw blood. "Daddy please fuck me!"

Ari adjusts his rhythm, purposely slowing himself down. He had a lesson to teach, after all. And if he was meant to learn a lesson, then so were you. 

One shattering orgasm at a time.

END

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#cevansbrat0007 sweet renegade series #chris evans imagines #ari levinson imagines #chris evans fanfiction #ari levinson fanfiction #chris evans x you #ari levinson x you #chris evans x black!reader #ari levinson x black!reader #chris evans x woc!reader #ari levinson x woc!reader #chris evans x black reader #ari levinson x black reader #chris evans smut #ari levinson smut #chris evans x reader #chris evans x female!reader #chris evans x girlfriend!reader #ari levinson x reader #ari levinson x female!reader #ari levinson x girlfriend!reader #chris evans x poc!reader #ari levinson x yn #chris evans x yn #ari levinson x y/n #chris evans x y/n #ari levinson girlfriend!reader #chris evans x fem!reader #ari levinson x fem!reader #cevansbrat0007 fics

[mrsnancywheeler]

call it what you want // finnick odair x f. reader

summary: finnick can't stop himself from an endless day of teasing leaving you frustrated with an itch only he can scratch

masterlist

warnings: pure filth, smut, porn without plot, endless teasing, oral (f and m receiving), frustration, finnick's kind of mean but also so sweet, degredation, use of the words whore and slut, grinding, desperate reader, just horny things everywhere, no use of y/n, unedited, I'm sorry, not tagging anyone bc it's just porn

2.7k words

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

Finnick Odair was the most insufferable, torturous man you knew. With his cocky tone, egotistical smirk, and the smug way he would endlessly tease you. It was like he planned to make you angry with desperation and he'd began the very morning when he'd walked into the bedroom after his early morning swim. Trailing sand and water all over the house which he knew would make you groan even if he always cleaned it up. You'd woken up with the sun and the sound of him walking into the bedroom, hardwood floors creaking. Even in your tired state you already knew that he was making a mess.

“Finnick, at least wipe off the sand with a towel when you get inside." Sleep still in your voice.

“But then I wouldn't get to listen to you complain every morning and where's the fun in that?" You wondered how his voice could already make you want to drown in it this early in the morning. Your eyes finally adjusted to see him, sun shining on the water droplets dripping down his chest, he looked like he was sculpted by the gods. Finnick stepped closer to the bed.

"Don't you dare, I don't feel like washing all the blankets today. I'll get up.” You cautioned, reluctantly moving the blankets off of you when he began crawling into the bed anyways, "Finnick!” You sighed, he was in one of his moods, the devilish kind.

“I'll wash them, honey, stop acting like you have to do anything. We both know all you have to do is be nearby, being a pretty girl for me." The way his words had you clenching around the air felt criminal, but you couldn't ponder on that for long when his lips were on yours. Filling your senses with the smell of the ocean, so comforting, so reminiscent of him. His mouth instantly took control and you followed eagerly, whining when he pulled away, pressing them to your neck.

"No marks, Finn.” You muttered out breathlessly as his hand wandered up to your breasts.

Yet you missed his warmth the moment he lifted his lips, “You sure, you don't want everyone to know you're my girl?" Everyone already knew that, but the way he said it was so convincing.

“No, I do." He rewarded you with his gorgeous, cocky smile.

“That's what I thought, sweet girl." His lips reattached to your neck, fingers pushing down the lacy top of your nightgown and you gasped when the cold air hit your nipples. Your brain was hazy again with the cold air and his hot lips attacking your neck. It was confusing when he pulled away and you hummed, puzzled by the sudden loss of content. “Gotta go take a shower, go get ready and I'll be quick, I'll make you breakfast." He pressed a fast, soft kiss to your lips and was gone in a split second. Leaving you leaning forward, disoriented and you weren't sure how long you sat there waiting to readjust from the bewilderment.

For a few hours he'd acted like nothing had happened, being his usual sweet, helpful self. He had you pick out a book to read to him as he cleaned up his mess of sand and water on the floor, cleaned the sheets and blankets, washed the dishes. All of his sweet acts had a way of making you forget what a menace he really was, it was hard to think negatively of a man who would brush your hair, make the bed, and do any other menial task for you. So initially you weren't too fazed when you'd gone to grab a cup and suddenly he was behind you to grab it for you.

“Thank you." You turned to face him and tried to ignore the heat taking over your body when his arms caged you to the counter, putting the glass down.

“Gotta take care of my sweet girl, don't I?" Finnick's lips were on yours again which would've been fine if he hadn't stepped closer, pushing you further into the counter. Hand holding the back of your head and another squeezing your ass which made you gasp into his mouth. You could feel him smiling at this before his tongue invaded your mouth. Then suddenly his hand was dropping lower, dangerously close to the hem of your dress. Instinctually you snapped your legs shut.

Finnick pulled away from your mouth just long enough to let out a “Tsk." As both of his hands fell to push your thighs apart.

“Finnick." Your eyebrows scrunched together, hips chasing forward. You couldn't stop yourself from moaning when his fingers grazed over your clothed core and then suddenly it was all gone. He'd pushed himself off the counter, away from you, had the cup in hand again and was filling it up with water. Jumbled thoughts trying to form a coherent protest.

“Drink up, honey, you're looking a little faint." He handed your somewhat shaky hand the water and touched your forehead in faux-concern, “You're burning up." You wondered how he could act like that when he had such a prominent bulge in his pants and decided you hated him for whatever game he was playing with you. Then without a word he was gone and you felt too wobbly to follow after him. Diligently drinking the cold water in hopes it would force your mind back into logical thoughts.

In his seemingly endless house you forced yourself into distracting tasks, cutting fresh flowers to arrange around the house, dusting your jewelry boxes, the small home library, anything to stop the idea you needed to find him and beg him for assistance. Occasionally you'd rub your thighs together, find yourself pushing your hips into the air and scold yourself for the lack of self-control. Frustrated with what he was doing to you without a care in the world. After you'd watered every plant, finished your book, and done every small thing you could think of you set it on yourself to search for him.

You didn't want to admit it to yourself, but the ache in your stomach needed him an unthinkable amount. Of course he was in the most obvious place, his little office, reading over something on his little loveseat. “Hi." You whispered when you tapped on the door.

He put down what he was holding instantly to look at you, nervous in his doorway, “Hi, pretty girl. What's wrong?" Finnick sounded so genuine, so sweet that you felt yourself falling apart like sugar in tea.

“Just missed you, Finn." Small, slow steps inside, looking around. You despised the way you were suddenly feeling so tiny, so helpless around him, but you loved the way you were able too.

“Spent all morning with you, honey." You almost felt guilty until you thought of the way he'd spent the morning torturing you.

“I know, m’sorry. Just so lonely.” You looked at the ground. Part of it was true, but also you wanted some part of him to pity you enough to stop you from tingling.

“Well I can't have you feeling like that, sweet girl, come here." You smiled when you rushed over to sit in his lap, legs wrapping around him. Of course he knew what you were doing and he prided himself for making you this nervous and desperate. Your face buried into his neck and he bucked forward so slightly you would've thought you missed it except it very much made your mouth fall open, fingernails digging into his arms. It felt like your inhibitions had left you when your body automatically responded by rubbing your clothed pussy on the rough materials of his pants. Surprisingly he let you, long enough that you were suppressing noises in his neck when he was picking you up with seemingly no effort. He glanced out the window, “I have to start dinner." He smiled and rose from the couch, leaving you, soaked, in his office.

You felt so teased that your brain couldn't form a rational train of thought. This was confirmed when you started crying in frustration, angry that he was doing this to you. You'd take anything, you were sure if he even touched you one more time it would get you off without him even being near the place that ached for him the most. The sun had gone down when you'd stopped your stream of tears, the sniffling, and mostly gotten over how embarrassed you were for rubbing yourself against him.

You toyed with your dress as you shamefully entered the kitchen, the lights overtaking you. “Was about to send a search party out for you, honey. Just finishing up though." He barely spared you a glance as he pulled two plates out of the cupboard.

You nodded, but said nothing as you sat at the table. Sticky thighs pressed together as you shifted in your seat uncomfortably. If Finnick noticed your odd silence he said nothing as he handed you your plate, "Thanks.” You were flooded with embarrassment for how shaky your voice was.

“Of course, always taking care of my girl." What a liar, you needed him more than you'd ever thought you had before and he'd done nothing but been endlessly cruel. A clock ticked in the silent room as you played with your fork. “Honey, you need to eat."

“I'm not hungry." You crossed your arms, seething with the way the sensation seemed to worsen just by looking at him. “Can't even think." You muttered, losing any semblance of respectability you thought you held as you buried your head in your hands.

"Why not?” He looked so mystified and you hated his act even more.

"You're being so mean to me, Finn.” You cried out, shaking your head, "It's not fair!”

"How am I being mean? I've been taking such good care of you, I always do.” You hummed a disagreement, shaking your head, looking up to pout. “So pathetic, honey, I take care of you, and you never use your words, then start throwing a fit at the dinner table." He clicked his tongue in disapproval, head shaking as he leaned back on his chair.

“No, I’ve been good! Haven't touched myself and you kept teasing.”

Finnick tilted his head like he was considering your words, a mocking pout reflecting yours. "You're right, good girls don't touch themselves. But good girls also don't start rubbing their pussy on me when I'm trying to check on them.”

You sob into your hands, "Please, Finnick, I really can't take anymore. It hurts and I've been trying so hard all day, I'm not trying to be bad, I promise.”

"Maybe you're not trying, but you're throwing a tantrum like a little brat. I would've given you what you wanted eventually, but you're so ungrateful.”

If he wanted a fit, you could throw a fit and part of you wanted to with how treacherous he was being. “I'm not ungrateful, you're just being so mean to me, ever since I woke up! You won't even let me suck you off." You crossed your arms again, hot with rage and need.

“Yes, I will. Come over here and help me out, thought you didn't even think about what you were doing to me." You hadn't really done anything, he'd started it, but you didn't argue when you instantly knelt down in front of him.

“I have, wanted your cock in my mouth all day, so badly, Finn." He groaned and you eagerly unzipped his pants.

"Then suck.” Finnick said exhaling and you kissed his tip, licking the pre-cum off of it. You kissed every inch of it you could, trying to hide the way your hips started to move. Just being able to do this was probably enough to help you unwind until he was tilting your face up. “Stop humping the air and be good for me." Before you could mumble out a sorry he'd let your lips right back to him. Instantly your wrapped them around him, part of you wanted to tease him just as he'd done to you all day. Starting slowly, cheeks hollowed as he moaned. He must have known you wanted revenge when his hands were in your hair. “God, I have to do everything." Roughly using your mouth, guiding you up and down as you gagged on his length. It didn't take long for him to come undone, for his string of curses and moans to lead to him filling your mouth. You swallowed every last bit of it before pulling away as his fingers loosened. “Your mouth is so good, honey, but that doesn't change the fact that I face fucked you, you didn't suck me off." He shook his head as he breathlessly admonished you.

Exhausted from trying to beg him you laid your head on his knee. “You didn't give me the time." You whispered, voice shaking. Your brain so foggy that you decided to accept defeat.

Finnick's fingers were suddenly much softer and so was his voice as he lead your face up, making you look at him. “Hey, of course I'm gonna take care of you, sweet girl, you didn't think I was gonna get you all worked up for so long and not leave you like this all night, did you? Just messing with you, don't think about what I was saying, you've been so good for me. So patient." You were crying in relief, forcing your face back into his knee. "Come on honey, let me take care of my needy girl.” He moved your head again, grabbing a hand to lift you as he stood from the chair. Guiding you to the bedroom. “Strip for me, sweet girl."

You mindlessly nodded to his instructions, sitting on the bed when you finished. “Thank you."

“How do you want me to help you out, honey?"

“Can I have your mouth please, Finn?" You muttered and he nodded.

“Of course you can, gonna make you feel so good." He pulled a pillow closer to your head, "Lay down for me.” You obeyed and he settled between your legs. Breath fanning on your core, making your buck your hips towards his face. "My pretty girl has such a pretty pussy, dripping for me. How long do you think it'll take?” He kissed your labia and you moaned so loudly it echoed in your head. “I think I've got you so ready that it'll be fast and if we're lucky you'll be seeing stars, won't you, sweet girl?"

“Please, Finn." You whined and suddenly he was devouring you. Face buried inside your cunt, your thighs started to close when his hands, in tune with your expected movements, held them open. “Oh my god, Finn, so good!" Your hands curled into the sheets, toes curling, bucking against his face. His nose rubbing against your sensitive clit as his tongue explored. You let your fingers wander up to his hair, tugging at the golden locks and nearly screaming when he moaned into you. It felt impossible that you were so worked up that you felt so close to unraveling already. “Keep going, so close!"

“Gonna cum all over my face, sweet girl? Wanna taste you." Finnick instantly was back on you, somehow with more intensity than before. He was right when you did come you could've sworn you saw stars, especially when he latched himself onto your clit the moment your orgasm started. Refusing to let up as you did in fact scream your way through it. You felt yourself hazily bucking away.

“Can't, Finn, s’too much." You whined and he chuckled.

“Just taste so good, honey, I'm just cleaning you up, okay?" You knew he was lying, that he'd stay like this until you were desperate to get away yet begging for more, and you nodded anyway. Accepting a different kind of defeat, you deserved it after the day he'd given you, at least that's what you told yourself when he dove right back into your core.

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

I rarely write smut, so I hope this is up to snuff, and I'm kinda nervous. But here y'all go, I was just feeling it tonight. Feedback, likes, comments, reblogs are all super appreciated and my ask box/requests are always open, I'm working on some requested headcannons right now! thank you for reading, love you all 💋

#wanda 💋 #finnick odair x reader #finnick odair #finnick odair x y/n #finnick odair fluff #finnick odair angst #finnick odair x reader fluff #finnick odair x you #finnick odair x reader angst #thg #finnick odair smut #finnick odair x reader smut #finnick odair fanfic #finnick x reader #finnick odair imagine #finnick x y/n #finnick x you

[kausstar]

ᯓ ✶ DATING / GENERAL HEADCANONS ◞ kid .

headcanons + ask tags female! reader. nsfw + sfw content. black reader in mind but anyone can read. talks of trauma (his mothers death). kissing. him coded things. some modern au while others are set in the movie. little to no smut added. ꒰ please forgive me 4 these headcanons cause they’re basically just be rambling about him, it’s not formal… at all ꒱

⟣ having kid as a boyfriend would be so fulfilling but deathly worrying. he’s so attentive (just as you are to him), kind, giving, gentle, and heartfelt.

worships the ground you walk on. full hands and knees type worships.

he definitely uses those big eyes to his advantage whether he knows it or not. feel like you’ve told him about it but he continues to deny it.

saves up his money from the tournaments to not only get a gun but get you something. like a bracelet or something memorable.

greets you bloody, dripping with sweat and dirt with a closed mouth, tired smile on his face every time he comes home to you.

even comes home with small groceries that you said you needed to pick up the day after, just cause it was “on his route,” quoted him, even though he most definitely had to cross some streets and walk a little longer to get it.

doesn’t sleep a lot so listens to you breath most nights (no matter how weird it sounds). enjoys it though, makes him feel comfortable.

definitely the type to kiss your hand and wrist. goes along with the worshipping part.

doesn’t really talk much. you know he has so much to say but he doesn’t say much of it. especially when it comes down to his feelings towards certain things.

he’s easy to read though. since you’ve been in a relationship you’ve realized how important it is to just let him be quiet and watch his eyes and behavior.

makes little jokes here and there, once he’s comfortable. especially if you’re already the playful type, yeah he’s make some sarcastic jokes.

feels embarrassed about his hands at first. he most definitely felt ashamed of them and lied about what happened for the first couple weeks of your relationship.

ends it telling you the truth late at night when he can’t sleep once he realizes that he’s comfortable enough w you and he’s iinnn looovvveee.

likes to lay on your chest and let you play with his hair. side note: i just know his hair is sooo soft but is almost all the time sticky and sweaty.

thinking about how he’d love hugging you after having a panic attack. like he’s breathing heavy, arms around you tight.

feel like if you ever gave him something for like luck or just a small gift he’d take it everywhere and/or wear it everyday.

also something that’s soo him coded is having a picture of you in his wallet. like the cutest picture ever on earth, taken by him of course.

thinks you're the best thing that has happen to him in a long time and he adores you.

will just stare at you without you knowing (while you’re focusing on something else) and go “you’re gorgeous.”

there’s no doubt in my mind that he wouldn’t look at another woman like he looks at you. he wouldn’t dare even share a glance to them.

⟣ during his missions, he wouldn’t get you involved unless you wanted to be.

he would consider it for a little, just because you want to but deep down he’s just wants to say no and that be the end of it.

losing you scares him and to put you in the position where he would lose you is the last thing he wants to do.

when he leaves and doesn’t know if he coming back he says, “i’ll be with you forever soon.” before kissing your lips.

adding on to the gift one, he’d even carry it during his extreme antics. can’t help but think about him waking up after being shot, at the temple, and looking around for it (if it’s not on his person).

“the picture… that was in my pocket.” he’d ask quietly to the keeper. they point to the small bed side table, kid hadn’t taken note of before. he lets out almost a sigh once he finds the picture, but can’t help but worry about how you’re feeling. a frown slightly shadowing his face. “she’s beautiful,” the keeper comments.

when they put him on the news as a wanted terrorist, and even after, he stayed away, trying to keep you safe.

⟣ in his community, he’s seen the small kids grow up and older adults have seen him do so, so he’s very particular with who he introduces them to.

and let’s say he doesn’t hesitate all that much to do so with you.

i feel like the kids would warm up to you somewhat quickly.

feel like they would give you little trinkets or flowers they found, just cause.

if you play with them and kid witnesses?? he’s not gonna say it, he swears up and down it’s the cutest thing he’s seen in his life (gets baby fever).

⟣ in the sheets, he prefers sex to be passionate and loving. feel like he fucks you like it’s the last he’ll ever see you, every time.

feel like he’d like to rough with you sometimes. maybe if he’s stressed and he always asks if you want it rougher.

he talks you through it. like my god. but like really sweetly.

he’s a tit man! just feel like he’s too shy to look at your ass but definitely not shy enough to look down your top.

 2024 kausstar — ( pinned post ⟡ masterlist )

— pls don’t use my headcanons for your own work. i’ve seen that a lot and it’s rude.

#⠀ ݁ ੭୧ ᳝ ࣪ ᭡ .ᐟ ⠀ #𓂃⊹ monkey man. #little to no smut on this one cause i’m soo fluffy when thinking about this cutie! #monkey man #monkey man 2024 #monkey man movie #monkey man imagine #monkey man x reader #monkey man fanfiction #kid monkey man #kid x reader #monkey man kid x reader #dev patel #dev patel x reader #dev patel monkey man #dev patel imagine #dev patel fanfiction

[thedevilspearl]

are they a dom or a sub — brothers & dateables

a/n: i’ve seen dom/sub headcanons floating around since the dawn of time and now it’s my turn. these are my headcanons (spoiler alert: most of them are switches) and i want you to know that it’s okay to have differing opinions, and i’m 100% down to discuss your versions with you, just be nice about it loll this is all just for fun <3

tags: all brothers + dateables, no explicit smut but consistent discussion of dom/sub dynamics so minors do not interact!

𝐋𝐔𝐂𝐈𝐅𝐄𝐑  ➛  switch but dom–leaning. as a sub, he is so good and soft. it’s a way for him to accept and nurture his vulnerability with someone he trusts. but as a heavily dominant person, he takes on the dominant role most of the time — though, there are many times he prefers no dynamics of the sort and to just have sex as him and you. but going back to his dom side, he can range from hard to soft and it depends on many factors: his mood, your mood, the time of day, how much energy he has, if you two are alone etc. he does either really well, but he prefers to be a soft dom because he craves soft loving and intimacy over rough and lustful sex. but i will mention, as a hard dom, he loves a challenge so do him a favour and be as bratty as you can be.

𝐌𝐀𝐌𝐌𝐎𝐍  ➛  he is exactly in the middle as a switch. he’s neither dom nor sub–leaning, but perfectly balanced. and similar to lucifer, it all depends on his mood and the atmosphere. as a sub, he’s quite bratty. very moany and loves to feel pain (though, not too much). he has his softer subby moments, but he’s mostly a bratty sub and loves to be tamed (and punished). but as a dom, he would mostly act as a soft dom, or somewhere in between soft and hard, never going into full hard dom mode. don’t get me wrong, he loves rough and nasty sex but he can do all that without being a hard dom. he’s also massively into dirty talk and teasing, so even when he’s a soft dom, you’ll get glimpses of his harder, meaner, dirtier side even if it never comes into full fruition.

𝐋𝐄𝐕𝐈𝐀𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐍  ➛  we’re all convinced levi is sub–leaning, even he is. but i believe his dynamic can change greatly. he starts as a sub because he feels more comfortable with someone else taking the lead while he’s learning what he likes and dislikes, and also what you like and dislike. but his subby–ness can get repetitive and unexciting really quickly. he may be a brat sometimes and would prefer punishments like orgasm denial or no touching over pain–inflicting punishments. but most of the time as a sub, he is so good and sweet, obeying every order like a zealous golden puppy who worships you. later on, he explores his dominant side and he is fully committed to being a soft dom. sex with dom levi is like having sex with your best friend; he’s always praising you and asking if you’re doing okay. he can still be rough (and mean, if you ask for it), but that only makes him eager to be more affectionate.

𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐀𝐍  ➛  is a switch but let’s talk about his dom side since we all love to think about rough, mean dom satan. he can be a soft dom and i do headcanon him as one, but he is better suited in the role of a hard dom, particularly when he needs to release his pent up frustration. he needs someone who can take all of his rough, mean energy whilst also accepting his genuinely caring and affectionate side. what i mean to say is, during sex, you would mostly see hard dom satan, but afterwards, it’s nothing but soft and loving dom satan to take care of you. as a sub, he also also better suited as a hard sub. he wants you to test his limits. make him cry. make him scream. make him beg for more and make him beg you to stop. he wants you to treat him in a way no one else would dare to treat him and he very reluctantly wants to be put in place.

𝐀𝐒𝐌𝐎𝐃𝐄𝐔𝐒  ➛  hard dom and hard sub for asmo are a no–no. the hardest he will go is calling you mean names (but they’re somehow always mixed in with praise), maybe spanking and a little bit of hair pulling. oh, and he does love to see you cry. rough sex is fine but with the way he speaks to you so softly and teasingly, it can hardly be considered rough, even when you’re brought to tears. if you want to see dom asmo, be prepared for him to always be a soft dom. as a sub, he may lean towards some harder things, but again, no matter how kinky or experimental sex with asmo is, he has his charming ways and it will turn out soft in the end. he’s kinky but he’s soft mostly all the way. and i would say he is more dom–leaning as a switch. sex is his expertise (sexpertise?) so he prefers to guide the way in the bedroom.

𝐁𝐄𝐄𝐋𝐙𝐄𝐁𝐔𝐁  ➛  dom/sub dynamics aren’t that important to beel but when it does play a part in sex, he is most naturally dom–leaning. sub beel has never crossed my mind and it probably never will. even if you are in control, he just can’t find himself in a sub mindset. but if it were the other way around, he could potentially slip into a dom mindset. beel is the demon most in touch with his animalistic nature, and that’s why it’s easier for him to be a dom. i would not categorise him as either hard or soft but rather just someone who likes to be in control sometimes. he can give you a good, hard fucking, but that doesn’t mean he’s a hard dom. he can also be a lot more gentle, and that doesn’t mean he’s a soft dom either. it’s hard to label him specifically, so i’ll leave beel as dom–leaning.

𝐁𝐄𝐋𝐏𝐇𝐄𝐆𝐎𝐑  ➛  belphie as a sub is a dream. he is so whiny and bratty, just imagine how he moans....i just know he makes himself sound especially pathetic when he’s in his subby persona. he likes being slapped, he likes being brought to tears. but he’s a switch and as a dom, he loves to do those exact same things to you. he can be quite confusing as a dom because he is soft and slow in his movements, very rarely fucking you fast and hard. but it’s in his words and sadistic behaviour where his hard dom shines. so physically, he’s a soft dom. but mentally, he’s all up in his hard dom space. he’s also the type of dom that will demand sex whenever and wherever he needs it which definitely boosts his hard dom side. he’s so mean with his words but he’s caressing your face and wiping your tears at the same time. dom belphie to you is exactly how he wants you to be with him when he’s a sub.

𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐋𝐎  ➛  the demon lord is probably the biggest (or second biggest after mammon) switch in the entirety of obey me. he is a flip–flop in the making. he can bounce from one end of the spectrum to the other in an instant. his dom/sub dynamic is literally so dynamic that it gives you whiplash. with most switches, if they begin the session as a sub, they will most likely finish as a sub. but dia can switch during sex, going from dom to sub or vice versa. maybe even switching three or four times, depending on how long you go at it with him. he can go from hard to soft and soft to hard. he knows how to read the room, how to read you and because his mood is so changeable, you need to be able to read him too. sex with dia requires a whole lot of understanding and chemistry. if you don’t have it, the sex can be too confusing that it becomes unenjoyable. but if you do have it, then it will be the best sex you’ll ever have.

𝐁𝐀𝐑𝐁𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐒  ➛  he is another one that i rarely see as a sub, if at all. i don’t think barbatos has any strong sexual preferences or kinks in general. and while they do exist, sex just isn’t a huge ordeal to him. but during those times when he is excited to experiment with sex, he would be a dom. he can be a soft dom but i don’t think he’d be particularly good at it, mediocre at best. he would excel more as a hard dom. he’s the type of person who will have a dark and rough sexual side, but is wholly soft and affectionate outside of the bedroom. he’s a dom but if you wanted to be the dom, he wouldn’t mind acting as a sub — just know he wouldn’t enjoy is as much. but, he also wouldn’t mind having to compete with another dom until one of you submits; that would be fun.  

𝐒𝐈𝐌𝐄𝐎𝐍  ➛  now this angel can confuse you at first but first impressions are always deceiving. dom/sub dynamics are not heavily implemented into his simeon’s sexual preferences but i must say, when they do come out, it is absolutely stellar. simeon is a dom, a soft dom most of the time but every now and then, he’ll show himself as a hard dom. it’s very rare but it’s the kind of thing that lingers in your brain for weeks after it happens. even if you beg him to give you that mean and nasty sex, he won’t do it unless he decides to, or when he feels the need to. but as a predominantly soft dom, he is sweet and caring, a little bit of a tease (read: a lot) who loves to test your limits but in a gentle way. he can be subby at times, but he prefers to guide the sex as a soft, gentle dom or have sex with no dom/sub dynamics over being the sub.

𝐒𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐌𝐎𝐍  ➛  i think he’s lived long enough to have a very aged libido. it’s hard for him to be excited about sex until you come along and it’s just like having sex for the first time. he’s discovering his sexual preferences, old and new, with you and he is steadily paced with his experimentation. i want to say he’s a switch but i also believe he doesn’t enjoy being a sub much. so he would definitely try being a sub, but will learn that he is more suited to the dominant role. he’s spent so long being powerful and almost uncontrollable, so being out of control upsets his personality. as a dom, he is quite balanced and i think he mostly relies on your preferences and moods. he finds it hard to decide for himself so if you want it hard, he’ll give it to you hard. and if you want it soft, he’ll give you all the love in the world.

#♡ pearl’s writing #obey me x reader #obey me smut #obey me headcanons #obey me lucifer #obey me lucifer x reader #obey me mammon smut #mammon x reader #obey me leviathan #obey me levi x reader #obey me satan #obey me satan x reader #obey me asmodeus #obey me asmo x reader #obey me beelzebub #obey me beel x reader #obey me belphegor #belphegor x reader #obey me diavolo #obey me diavolo x reader #obey me barbatos #obey me barbatos x reader #obey me solomon #obey me solomon x reader #obey me simeon #obey me simeon x reader

[noona-lover]

My Girlfriend

Umji VIVIZ × M!Reader

Author's Note: I received a few requests but only Umji's requester provided the plot so I started with that as my first work. Thanks to @i-turned-into-the-stone for being the beta reader and helping me with some parts. I got a lot of support even before posting anything so I'm thankful for that also. This one is just basic but I hope it's still enjoyable.

Tags: shower sex (not really), blowjob, creampie

Word Count: 2,341

As you sit in the audience, your eyes are glued to Umji's stunning figure on stage. The way her hips sway and her luscious curves move to the beat instantly sends shivers down your spine.

Then, you hear the crude voices of two men beside you. "Damn, did you see how that Umji chick was grinding on stage? I'd love to bend her over and—"

Your blood boils as that man continues his lewd description. "Don't even think about it, man. My dad's got some connections at her company. I'll become her little groupie and she'll be all over me in no time.”

Their words slice through you like daggers, making your jaw clench with fury. How dare they objectify your beautiful girlfriend like that? You picture yourself grabbing the arrogant prick by his collar and smashing his face in, shutting him up for good.

Umji notices the scowl on your face from the stage, her brow creasing with concern. After the performance, she rushes to your side backstage. "Babe, what's wrong? Your face looks like you want to murder someone."

"It's nothing, I'm fine." You force a tight smile, not wanting to worry her. The drive home is tense as she eyes you suspiciously.

"You know you can talk to me, right? Did something happen?"

You shake your head dismissively. "I said I'm okay, don't worry about it."

Once home, you hastily excuse yourself to the bathroom with a reassuring smile. "I'm just going to take a quick shower and cool off, alright?"

As the hot water cascades over your tense muscles, you replay the creeps' words in your mind, stoking the flames of your jealous rage. The urge to protect what's yours, to stake your claim on Umji's body, burns deep within you.

The steamy water beats down on your tense body when you feel a pair of soft arms encircle you from behind. Umji presses her bare breasts against your back, her hardened nipples dragging across your skin. 

"Baby, please don't hide anything from me," she whispers huskily against the nape of your neck, sending tingles down your spine. "I'm your girlfriend, I can tell when something's bothering you."

You sigh deeply, holding her hands splayed across your abdomen. "There were these two perverts at the show, talking about you like you were just a piece of meat." The words come tumbling out, your jealousy and anger still simmering. "One of them was some rich asshole who said he'd use his family's connections to get close to you."

"Those disgusting pigs," Umji spits, hugging you tighter. Her soft curves mold against you as she reassures, "Nothing's going to happen, you know I only have eyes for you." You turn in her embrace, drinking in the sight of her glistening, naked form. Your hands roam hungrily over the swell of her breasts and the flare of her hips.

"But what if your company tries to pull some bullshit?" you growl possessively. "Try to use you for fanservice or put you in compromising situations? I won't allow anyone to touch what's mine." 

Umji smirks defiantly, reaching down to grip your hardening cock. "They wouldn't dare try that. And even if they did, I'd spit in their faces and walk away. My members would have my back." She pumps your thick shaft slowly. "Because there's something only YOU can give me.”

Umji sinks to her knees in front of you, the warm water still raining over both of your bodies. She gazes up at you with those big, innocent eyes while dragging the head of your cock across her full, pouty lips. She playfully smears your precum over her cheeks and chin with a giggle.

You chuckle softly at her antics, almost forgetting just how delightfully dirty your girl can be. Her devious moves never fail to turn you on, instantly melting away any jealous or troubled thoughts.

As Umji kitten-licks the underside of your rigid cock, you thread your fingers lovingly through her soaked hair, earning an appreciative hum. Then, wrapping her bare lips around the swollen tip, she hollows her cheeks and takes half of your length into her eager mouth.

You let out a groan as she bobs her head enthusiastically, tongue swirling along the throbbing veins. "Fuck, you're so good at this, baby," you said breathlessly, drinking in the erotic sight. 

With a twinkle in her eye, Umji pulls off your cock with a pop, strings of saliva still connecting her lips to the tip. "All for you, babe," her voice is dripping with needs. "Now just relax and let me take care of my man." 

Gripping the base, she laves her talented tongue along the underside before sucking one of your heavy balls into her mouth, lavishing it with covetous attention. You shudder and groan, hips jerking as she services you with unrestrained fervor. 

For now, all the possessive worries and dark thoughts melt away, leaving only the exquisite sensations your gorgeous girlfriend is delivering. Your body blocks the shower stream from lashing Umji's face as she hungrily devours your throbbing cock. 

You can't tear your eyes away from the incredibly lewd sight of your wet girlfriend gliding her soft, wet lips up and down your rigid shaft. "Fuuuck, Umji..." you growl through gritted teeth, drinking in every sultry bob of her head as she takes you deeper into her mouth. 

When she manages to stuff your entire length past those lips, the scorching tightness of her throat constricting around you makes stars burst across your vision.

Umji gags, eyes fluttering as she struggles to maintain eye contact, but the dazed lust burning in her gaze only ratchets your arousal higher. Her drenched, raven locks plaster her face as she pistons her head without pause, spit, and pre-cum dribbling from the corners of her mouth.

The delicious suction from her cheeks hollowing, the wet heat of her tongue massaging at your underside - it's all too much incredible stimulation for your senses to handle. Gruff groans tear from your throat as fiery ecstasy courses through your veins, threatening to make you lose control right then and there.

"Oh god, baby… I'm gonna… Fuck!" you curse, instinctively grabbing a fistful of her hair as your hips jerk forward on instinct. 

Umji just moans encouragingly around your pulsing cock, her eyes sparkling with pure, carnal desire as she readily accepts your face-fucking. You withdraw your cock from Umji's sucking mouth with a pop, despite your body screaming for release. 

As much as you crave that mind-numbing euphoria of her sweet throat, you want to tend to her pleasure as well. She worked so hard, so selflessly, to satisfy you first. Umji catches her breath, pink tongue darting out to swipe the mixture of saliva and pre-cum from her lips. 

The glistening mess only makes her look even more debauched as she gazes up at you with heavy-lidded, needy eyes. "Why'd you stop?" she pouts petulantly.

You silence her whine by capturing her mouth in a ravenous kiss. Reaching back, you twist the shower knob off before pulling your girlfriend flush against you. Your cock rubs against the flat plane of her stomach as you voraciously knead the supple flesh of her ass.  

Breaking the heated liplock, you speak into the crook of her neck, "Because I need to be inside you. Need to fill you up so damn deep and mark you as mine." 

Umji keens with unbridled lust at your filthy words, arching her back to grind her weeping slit along your rigid cock. "Yes, please," she whimpers shamelessly.

You hoist Umji's legs around your waist and pin her against the steamy shower wall. The sweltering heat and steam only amplify the erotic scent of her arousal as you grind your achingly hard cock against her soaked folds. 

You grip her meaty thighs, spreading them wider so you can grind your rock-hard cock against her dripping pussy. "You want this dick inside you, don't you?" Teasing her sensitive folds.

"Yes, yes! Give it to me, baby!" Umji begs, her nails digging into your shoulders. You slowly slide your throbbing shaft into her tight, wet heat, both of you groaning at the sensation.

"Ohh, fuck! Your pussy feels so good," you exclaim, bottoming out inside her. You pull back, then slam back in, setting a rough, pounding rhythm. The sound of your flesh slapping together echoes in the steamy shower.

Umji cries out, her head thrown back. "Yes, yes, yes! Fuck me harder!" Her breasts bounce with each powerful thrust, the water trickling down you all’s bodies.

You lean in, sucking and biting at her neck as you fuck her relentlessly. "You like that, don't you? Taking my cock so deep?" you dirty talk against her skin.

"I love it! Don't stop, baby, don't ever stop!" Umji moans, her walls clenching around you. You can feel her orgasm building, her whole body trembling with pleasure.

Umji's pussy grips your cock like a vice, her slick, spongy inner walls caressing your shaft with each slide in-out. You know how stressful being an idol must be for her, so you're determined to make this fucking as good as possible.

You pull her even closer to bury your pulsing cock deep inside her quivering heat. "Fuck, your pussy feels amazing, haa, I can't get enough," you growl, drinking in the sight of her flushed, ecstatic expression.

"Yes, yes, that's it!" Umji moans, her nails dragging down your back. "Give it to me harder, baby. I need it so bad." 

You oblige, slamming into her harder. The sound of your bodies colliding fills the steamy air, along with Umji's desperate cries of pleasure. 

"Ohh, god, you're stretching me so good. I can feel every inch of you!" she gasps, her inner muscles fluttering around your cock. Her thighs tremble as you hit that sweet spot inside her over and over.

"All for you, baby,” you groan, swaying your hips with abandon. Umji's perky breasts bounce with the force of your thrusts, her hard nipples grazing your chest.

"Fuck, I'm so close!" she whimpers, her orgasm building. "Don't stop, please don't stop!"

You capture her lips in a messy kiss, swallowing her cries as her pussy clenches down on your throbbing cock. The euphoric sensation pushes you right to the edge as well.

Umji cries out, her legs stiffening around your waist as she drops herself down fully onto your cock. Her toes curl in pure ecstasy and she screams loudly, her inner walls clenching rhythmically around you.

Her orgasm explodes, waves of pleasure rippling through her trembling body. You slide your hands from her thighs up to her soft, round ass, supporting her weight as you push yourself balls deep inside your desperate, quivering girlfriend.

"Umji, your pussy is milking my cock so good.” You bury your face in the crook of her neck. You can feel her heartbeat pounding as she clings to you, lost in the throes of her climax.

"Oh god, yes, yes, yes!" Umji’s hips rolling and grinding against you. The slick sounds of bodies joining echo in the compartment. "Don't stop, please don't stop!"

You oblige, snapping your hips up to meet her frantic movements. Your fingers digging into the flesh of her ass. Umji's walls flutter and spasm around your throbbing cock, dragging you ever closer to the edge.

With a few more deep, decisive thrusts, you feel the familiar build of your orgasm. "Fuck, babe, I'm gonna cum!" you warn, your entire body tensing.

Umji looks up at you with lust-blown eyes, her voice dripping with need. “Cum inside me, baby. I want to feel your hot cum filling me up," she pants, her canal clenching around your pulsing cock.

"You want me to creampie you, don't you?" you smile, your balls smacking forward with ruthless intensity. "Such a naughty girl, always playing these dangerous games."

"Yes! I need it, please!" Umji begs, her fingernails digging into your shoulders. "I want your seed dripping out of my pussy, tickling and coating my insides."

You grip her hips, slamming into her. "Then take every last drop." With a throaty groan, you feel your orgasm exploding, your cock throbbing as you pump your hot, thick load deep inside her quivering needy pussy.

Umji howls out, her back arching as she feels you filling her up. "Yes, yes, that's it! God, it's so warm and full," she moans, milking every last drop from you.

You continue rocking your hips, making sure to coat her insides thoroughly. The sound of your mingling fluids is obscene. 

"Mmm, I can feel it dripping out of me," Umji purrs, her eyes half-lidded with satisfaction. "Such a good boyfriend, giving me exactly what I needed."

You pull Umji close, pressing a tender kiss to her forehead. "Thank you, baby. You always know how to make me feel better," you state, brushing a stray hair from her flushed face. 

Umji beams up at you, her fingers tracing lazy patterns on your chest. "And thank you for the amazing fuck. I needed that just as much as you did," she teases, playfully nipping at your bottom lip.

Carefully, you ease your softening cock out of her well-used pussy, watching as your combined fluids begin to drip down her thighs. You help lower her to her feet, steadying her when she sways slightly.

"How about we clean up together?" Umji suggests, her voice soft and warm. "Then I'll make us a nice dinner. You must be starving after all that grind."

You chuckle, wrapping your arms around her waist and pulling her in for a leisurely kiss. "Sounds perfect. I don't know what I'd do without you."

Umji hums contentedly, melting into your embrace. "You'll never have to find out," she mutters, giving you a smile before stepping back and turning on the shower.

As the warm water falls over your body, washing away the evidence of your love-making activity, you can't help but feel utterly, blissfully satisfied. With Umji by your side, everything just seems right.

#kpop fanfic #kpop smut #kpop girls #kpop gg #viviz umji #umji smut #viviz smut

[miaountainmama]

jealous

characters: jouno, fem!reader contains: pwp, shameless smut, collaring, oral (m!recieving), degradation and praise, use of good girl, he gets jealous and fucks you over his desk. i also don't feel like tagging but this one is relatively tame too. minors dni or i'll eat your bones

wc: 2672

a/n: i love writing jouno smut. man is so talkative

“Did you honestly think I wouldn’t notice?”

You shake your head at Jouno’s question— you knew you could never hide anything from him. You could never lie to him. Still, to be caught like this…

“I couldn’t help it,” you reply meekly, tugging weakly at the leather collar around your neck. The fabric is comfortable— Jouno picked out something nice and soft for you when he bought it. He switches like that, between someone who considers your every need and someone who pushes you just for the pleasure of it. Right now, he felt like the latter.

“…Couldn’t help it?” Jouno’s voice is low and smooth, and you swallow, knowing that no matter what you said, you would not be getting out of this situation easily. Your breath catches as he suddenly yanks on the chain connected to your collar, and you’re forced to look up at him from where you’re kneeling on the floor in front of him.

“Couldn’t help what? Couldn't help thinking about getting your cunt fucked by another man? Couldn’t help thinking about replacing me?” He chuckles bitterly, and you fiddle with your fingers in your lap. There’s nothing you can say, nothing you can do to make yourself look any better in this situation.

“I heard your heartbeat when you were looking at him. And the smell of your— ugh. Sickening. To think you’d get off thinking about Tecchou of all people.” He’s circling you now, heels clicking against the floor of his office, and you don’t dare to turn your head and follow his movements. You stare straight ahead, feeling the sweat bead on the back of your neck as you flush from embarrassment.

“I’m sorry,” you say, and, though he can tell you’re genuine, his lip curls in distaste as he stops in front of you. His fingers twitch around the chain leash.

“I’ll make you sorry. Get up,” he orders, and you follow without hesitation, standing and shifting your weight nervously from side to side. He points to a spot by his desk, and you get the idea, quietly shuffling towards it and standing with your back facing him.

“Bend over.”

Your face burns, but you comply, resting your elbows on the smooth surface of the desk and bending at the waist. You feel him step behind you, his gloved hand running along your arched back, and you can’t help but shudder at the touch. His hand lingers there for a moment before moving downwards, reaching around toward the front of your pants and unbuttoning them. Your breath hitches, but you let him do as he pleases, though your blush does darken as he pushes the fabric down your thighs, leaving you bare and exposed to him. You know he can sense how aroused his jealousy has gotten you, and shame bubbles up in your belly— you can hear the resentment in his voice as he sheds a glove and brushes his fingers between your legs, seeing for himself how wet you’ve become.

“My, so excited. So you enjoy this? You enjoy betraying me? Flitting around like a common whore?” You say nothing as you hear him messing with his belt and pants, and your heart rate spikes as you hear the leather drop to the ground. You know what’s coming, and your legs unintentionally spread a little— Jouno exhales in derision at this, mumbling an insult you can’t quite hear. 

A tremor runs through your body as you feel him press closer to you, his cock sliding in between your folds as he prepares to enter you, and your eyes flutter half shut at the sensation. 

“You don’t deserve an ounce of the pleasure I’m about to give you, you whore,” he snarls, and with that, he pushes into you, yanking your head back by the collar with one hand and grabbing you roughly by the hip with the other. You gasp out a choked moan, back arching further as he bottoms out inside you, and you barely have time to process before he pulls back and snaps his hips forward again in a rough thrust. It hits inside you just right, and you can’t hold back the groan that tumbles from your lips, feeling your entire body lurch forward from how forceful he’s being. 

The first couple of thrusts are slow and deep, but Jouno was never one for mercy. Within seconds he’s set a pace that has you seeing stars, and your hands clutch at the surface of the desk, trying to find any sort of support as he ruthlessly pounds into you. The air is filled with the obscene sound of skin slapping against skin along with your heavy breaths and stuttered moans. He’s leaning over you now, pulling your head back by the leash so he can mutter things into your ear as his hips move against yours.

“Could Tecchou ever make you feel this good? Hm?” he says lowly, voice antagonistic, and you only moan out in response, already too fucked out to think. He lets out another displeased exhale before he pulls the chain back and sinks his teeth into your neck, causing you to let out a startled yelp.

“Answer me.”

Luckily for you, you’re able to form together a garbled no, and he hums in approval, rewarding you with a kiss over the new mark on your neck and another rough snap of his hips. 

“Good girl. See, you can behave. That wasn’t so hard, was it?”

He doesn’t expect an answer this time, which is good for you because you don’t know whether you could give one right now. You’re too busy gripping onto the desk for dear life, unable to focus on anything but the feeling of his cock pressing up just right against the spot inside you. He’s good— criminally good— even more so when he reaches around you and swipes a finger against your clit, not quite rubbing yet but applying enough pressure that it has you reeling.

“Are you going to be good from now on?” he says,  leaning further over you to murmur directly into your ear, and you nod your head, always eager to please. His hands are so warm, and the thought of him adding extra stimulation has you practically whining. It’s hard to think when he’s so close to touching you like that, still going at a steady pace with his hips.

“Mhm, I promise, Sai,” you breathe out, panting at this point, and he coos another good girl, causing your blush to darken as the praise goes right to your core. He rewards you by finally touching you, wetting his fingers on your slick before lightly pinching your clit. You let out a gasp, back arching at the sudden rush of sensation. Jouno chuckles from behind you, and you have half a mind to whip your head around and ask him what he thinks is so funny until he starts rubbing, and that clears any ounce of brattiness from your system. It feels so good you swear you’re about to cum on the spot— and he can tell. 

“So desperate for my touch? You’re soaking. You really are a whore.” His voice is full of amusement as he continues his efforts to pleasure both you and him, and he reaches out with the hand still holding the leash to fist at your hair and pull it back. Your legs begin to shake, but he shows no signs of slowing down.

“About to cum so soon? We can’t have that. Hold it in. You’re not allowed to cum until I tell you to,” he orders, and your eyes shoot open, tears shooting to them as you struggle to hold back your orgasm.

“But- Sai, I can’t, I can’t,” you babble, and you swear this man doubles his efforts instead of offering you mercy. Your moans become louder, 

harder to suppress, and he tightens his grip in your hair. The sounds of skin against skin get more aggressive.

“Jouno- Sai, please,” you continue, practically begging at this point, and you can feel his hands twitch from where they’re holding and pleasuring you. A soft spot of his, perhaps, a weakness for begging? It’s shameful, but you’re too desperate, too close to release to care as you target and exploit that soft spot for all it’s worth. 

“Sai, please, I need to cum, please, I can’t- I can’t hold it,” you’re whimpering by now, tears threatening to spill over your lash line, but he just hums in response, still ramming into you and circling your clit skillfully, and soon, the knot in your belly unravels. You’ve lost.

Your back arches to an almost painful level as you climax, and the moment Jouno realizes what’s happening he lets out a breathy laugh and begins to suck at your neck to overwhelm you even further. The tears really do fall now, and you sob out his name as he pleasures you through your high, never stopping even as your hips twitch and jerk. Your grip on the desk tightens to the point where you feel you’re about to splinter the wood. Eventually, you reach that point where everything becomes sensitive, and a shudder runs through your body. You know he feels it— still, he doesn’t stop, choosing to bite down on the crook of your neck instead, and your eyes squeeze shut as a strangled moan leaves your lips.

“Too much,” you whimper, feeling the hot tears running down your cheeks and dripping off of your chin, yet the man just hums again, choosing to ignore you, getting off to the sounds of your overstimulation— you can’t keep your mouth shut, moans and cries and sobs spilling into the air. You don’t know how long he keeps you on that threshold— it could have been seconds, could have been minutes, but as he whispers that you can take it you hate that you want to prove him right. You let him mark you up, you let him hold your head back by the hair, you let him fuck you so hard you cry— you let him do everything he wants to do to you until you hear a satisfied moan slip from his own lips, and he finally slows down. He hasn’t finished yet, but as he twitches inside you, both of you panting and gasping for breath, you know he’s getting there. He pushes all the way in and bends over you, turning your head so you can look directly at him.

“Mm. Such a shame. Directly disobeying my orders not to cum. What happened to being good?” he clicks his tongue, and your face burns with shame. You move to apologize, but the sound dies on your tongue as he shushes you, grabbing you by the shoulders and pulling out of you. You whine at the loss of contact, but he shushes you again, spinning you around to face him. You grab onto him for support, so fucked out you’re off balance.

“I’m not done with you yet. On your knees.”

He regards you with a light smile as you blink up at him, still sniffing and crying from the previous overstimulation, but you drop down to the floor at his command, knowing better than to go against him. You clutch at the fabric of his pants for a moment as you kneel in front of him, trying to regain any semblance of composure, and you’re surprised that he loosens the hold on the chain leash and runs his hands through your hair, letting you get those few precious seconds of rest. Perhaps he knows you need it before he inevitably ruins you a second time. Regardless, you lean into his touch, relishing in the feeling of his nails lightly scratching against your scalp.

As expected, he only gives you a few seconds, but it’s seconds that are appreciated. It mellows you out, and you open your mouth without complaint once Jouno shuffles forward and tilts your head up with a hand, grabbing himself with the other and tapping his cockhead against your lips. He’s surprisingly gentle as he inserts himself into your mouth, still cradling your head, though you know that won’t last. You place your hands on his body and wait for him to take control as he usually does.

His first couple of thrusts are shallow, slow. He moves deeper, and as his tip hits the back of your throat you gag and whine— he hushes you, rubbing circles on your jaw with his thumb. Your eyes water again. 

Jouno pays no mind, letting out sighs of pleasure as he begins to thrust faster, harder, moving the hand not holding the leash to run through your hair again. You look up at him with watery eyes as you allow him to use you, and soon he’s fucking your mouth just as hard as he was fucking you earlier. Though it’s difficult to keep yourself together, though you’re crying unintentionally and drooling and overall ruined, he pacifies you by murmuring words of praise down to you. It’s satisfying to see him morph from smug to this— you watch as his eyebrows slowly knit together, mouth dropping open to let out light grunts, and the more he finds pleasure in your body, the redder his cheeks get. 

“Ah, you feel- you’re being so good for me, fuck,” he pants, and you peer up at him contentedly as he slowly begins to fall apart. A weak noise slips from your open mouth as he tightens the leash, now using it to pull you up and down on his cock, and his head falls back at the added sensation. He’s holding back his sounds still, though, and you can’t have that. You quickly swirl your tongue around his tip when he pulls back again, and that seems to loosen his lips. He lets out the most delicious moan you’ve ever heard, breathy and coated in pleasure, and he speeds up. 

“Keep doing that,” he commands, though it lacks any sort of bite— it’s more of a whine than anything else. His thrusts are getting sloppy, erratic, and you can tell he’s getting close. You obey eagerly, willing to do anything that lets you hear his wonderful noises again, and as you let your tongue go to work he moans again, yanking you by the collar harder. His thrusts are getting shallower, faster, and you know there’s only a matter of seconds before it’s over. His voice pitches up— his hand tightens in your hair— and with a final thrust deep into your mouth he cums, spilling down your throat with a low groan. He seems done, but you? You continue to gently bob your head and swirl your tongue as you swallow, wanting to coax as much from him as possible, and your efforts are rewarded with a whimper. It’s the sweetest reward you could ever be given.

Hastily, he pulls out of your mouth, regaining his composure. He holds your head away from him for a moment before he retracts his hand, making sure to stroke your jaw with his thumb a few times before doing so. You look up at him happily from where you’re kneeling below him, hands still on his body, and he lets out a shaky exhale before resting his hands on yours and gently nudging them off of him.

“I trust you’ve learned your lesson?” he says, always one to try and remain in control at all times, and you nod, leaning your head against his leg. You hum in affirmation, and he sighs, reaching down to stroke your hair again. It puts a smile on your face, and it widens as his smooth voice praises you again.

“Good girl. Don’t do it again or I’ll have to punish you a second time.”

The idea of it sends your heart racing despite yourself. A second punishment didn’t sound too bad at all. 

“…Don’t get too excited. I won’t be as nice next time.”

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #bungou stray dogs x reader #bsd x reader #bungo stray dogs #bsd x you #jouno x reader #jouno saigiku #saigiku jouno x reader #bsd saigiku #jouno smut #bsd smut

[its-jaytothemee]

A Blanket of Bear

Read on AO3

Word count: 1,098 one shot

Tags: Halsin x reader, fluff, fluff without plot, ear nibbles, soft Halsin

Summary: Halsin refuses to take a break since the two of you returned to Thaniel's Realm. Luckily for him, you always know what he wants without him needing to ask.

A/N: Just some more Halsin fluff that nobody asked for but you all definitely need. A quick one shot from a prompt in a discord server. Enjoy some tooth-rotting marshmallow fluff and ear nibbles.

Bedtime must have been an ordeal tonight.

You sit in your bed, book in hand, waiting for Halsin to finish his nightly rounds with the children. Normally, you’d be there helping but he insisted you get the evening off. The past week or so had been a long one. Two of the old buildings in Reithwin were crumbling beyond repair, causing a significant delay in rebuilding. On top of that, a couple of the children dared each other to eat spoiled mushrooms, causing a fever to spread through many of them. Then today, you found out that the new berry patch you had started a few weeks ago had been infected with a blight and had to be burned away.

You’d really hoped to have fresh berries to top the honey cake you planned to make for Halsin’s birthday.

Over the sound of the fire crackling in front of you, you hear the soft clack of your cottage’s door opening and closing. The familiar sound of his footsteps causes you to mark the page you were reading before setting it to the side. Not a moment later, Halsin is standing in the doorway.

“My heart.” He has a tired smile on his face, his eyes look heavy, and his shoulders are drooping.

“What is it, love?” You hold your hand out, inviting him closer.

“Just the fatigue of an old druid trying to keep up with eighty-some children.” He takes a deep breath before coming to sit on the edge of the bed.

"Then you should have let me help you.” You reach out and gently stroke his back. “You know, I could always give you an evening off as well. I’d say you more than deserve it.”

“Oh no, that’s not necessary. Besides, I shudder to think what chaos the children will cause should I fail to deliver a bedtime story.” His affectionate chuckle makes you feel warm from head to toe. He would never admit it, but he was tired. As much as he adored the children in their care and how much he believed in their cause of building this community, he just wouldn’t admit that the past months had also exhausted him to the bone.

“I can tell stories! I’ve told many, you may remember.” You cross your arms, a playful scowl clouding your face.

“Yes, usually with my help if I’m not mistaken.” He smiles that perfect smile at you, the one that makes your heart flutter, and your cheeks redden.

“Well, you do have the best voices for the monsters, my love.”

He leans over and presses his forehead to yours before placing a light kiss on your lips.

“You’re so sweet to worry about me, my heart. But this task was one I decided for myself, for us. I owe it to you and everyone else here to see it through.”

“Halsin,” you reach up to tuck a runaway hair behind his ear, “you don’t have to be everything for everyone every second of the day. You’ve spent more than enough time feeling responsible for others. Let someone take care of you for once.”

“Well, that’s what I have you for, is it not? The only person in a century to give me the chance to sit and enjoy nature once again.” He kisses the back of your hand before staring back into your eyes. Those gorgeous, hazel eyes have seen every part of you, loved every part of you.

“Of course.” You smile back at him, knowing exactly what he wants right now, although he’s never willing to ask it of you.

You scoot back in the bed to lean against the headboard, a pillow propped behind your back for comfort. A knowing grin tugs at his lips from the movement. You hold your arms out, inviting him to come lay against you. He turns his back to you, snuggling himself between your legs, laying his head on your chest.

You wrap your arms around his shoulders, letting your hands rest on his chest. He takes a few deep breaths as he relaxes into your embrace. With every stroke of your hand across his torso, he melts further into you. You slowly trace your fingers around his shoulders, the lines and grooves memorized from your nights together. He mirrors the light touches on your thighs, sending shivers throughout your body.

Halsin nestles himself further in between your legs, his warm body a comforting weight pinning you down. You know that if you can get him to relax just a little further, he’ll easily drift into a trance in your arms.

You continue your gentle massaging, easing the tension in his muscled shoulders and earning you soft, content sighs. When you run your hands through his hair he leans further into your touch.

“My heart?” He asks with the tired tone of a child fighting a nap.

“Yes, my bear?”

“Would you…” He trails off, still not willing to ask for anything for himself. You smile to yourself, thankful that you know what he wants without him needing to ask.

You pull him closer to you, once again wrapping your arms around his broad shoulders. Despite his size, he always feels so much smaller when you hold him like this. Like he shrinks himself down to fit into your embrace better. You lean forward a little so you can press a kiss into the skin where his hair meets his neck, just behind his ear. Slowly, you move your lips to his ear, grazing them up and down the edge, every now and then pausing to nip in the spots he liked – the pointed tip, the lobe. Your gentle nibbles cause little bumps to rise up all over his skin. You let your lips wander up and down his neck before coming back to his ears, those perfect kissable ears. Alternating between kissing and nipping his earlobes and nuzzling your face into his hair and neck, you hear his breathing slow down and you notice his eyelids have stopped fluttering.

 “I love you, Halsin.” You lean forward just a little more to whisper the words to him.

A small murmur escapes his lips, cutting through his trance to make sure you know he feels the same. “I love you, my heart.”

He may not be willing to take an evening off yet, but you can sleep soundly next to him knowing how relaxed he is in your arms. Knowing that at least for tonight, he’ll rest.

And how lucky for you to fall asleep with your loving bear as a blanket.

#I didn't edit this much #just typed out an idea and then made a dentist appointment for the tooth rotting sweetness #bg3 #bg3 fanfiction #halsin x reader #halsin silverbough #halsin fluff #bg3 halsin #halsin fanfic #I don't usually do reader fics so hopefully the tense in this sounds right

[allhailsugu]

"Keep your tongue out and don't you dare move... And... Be a nice and good girl and open your mouth as wide as you can." 

He leans over me, his grip tight around my chin as he watches me with sinister eyes. I move my tongue catching all of his dripping saliva while it pulls strings out of his mouth and my cheeks flush.

I can't believe how turned on I am by this.

Pairing - Geto Suguru x Female! Reader Syllabus- Normally gentle and tender Suguru is being allowed to let his dominant side out because you actually like love it, but he breaks character. Word count: 5.4k tags- smut, GetoxF!Reader, dom!Geto, sub!reader, praise kink, slight degradation, somewhat explicit, Reader POV, unprotected, light pain kink, choking, teasing, nsfw, spanking, cursing, kinda fluff ending Disclaimer: Sorry for eventual grammar errors. Did proof read but I'm dumb, lol.

"What a good girl you are... Just keep your mouth open as wide as you can... Don't you dare move.. and swallow everything." 

He smirks, watching me eagerly catch his saliva with a satisfied and smiling face.

"That's it. Good girl..." 

He spoke with a soft and satisfied tone. His hand slowly letting go of my chin and cheeks. 

"Be silent. Do not say a single word until I tell you.“

I nod obediently. I sit on the floor of his bedroom, naked, getting circled around by him, also butt naked, my eyes following him as he continues to pace. His sculptured body making me shiver in arousal, my eyes occasionally darting to his already hard cock. 

The heat in the room already at an intense highpoint while he continues his play. Walking around me, watching me eagerly and I can see his gears grind as he lets a million thoughts run through his pretty head, of what to do next… I chuckle inside my head as I know he must think of this as a once in a life time opportunity. 

He then finally stops pacing, standing right behind me as he spoke again. His voice was now lower, more dominant and lustful than arrogant. "Get up... Now.“ 

I get up, my back towards him as his voice rumbles through my body saying.

"Spread your legs, open them wide." 

Instant arousal jolting through my body as I immediately obey. Slightly parting my legs as he continues standing behind me. His voice slightly softer before returning the stoic and firm tone he continues to use when giving me orders.

"Oh, good girl... Now, open even wider.“

I do as I'm told and due to me opening them, my body slides further down. I lean forward my palms flat on the floor. He then crouched down a bit to get a better look of my already wet slit. His voice now getting low in pitch and more intense as he whispered with a wide smirk, his breath hot against my rear.

"Damn... Already dripping, you perv…“

He grazes me with his knuckle making me tense up from his touch as I let out an inaudible gasp. His voice whispering aroused.

"Do it even wider…“

"S-sugu... if I go further... I’ll do a split….“ 

I instantly feel a sharp pain on my ass. He spanked me for speaking.

He smirked briefly when I tried to argue with him, as this gave him opportunity to be harsh. He slapped me hard on my already red ass again. He raises one eyebrow before speaking in a more harsh tone.

"So? Do it. I didn't tell you to speak, did I? I told you to spread your legs even wider. So, just do it!"

I whimper nodding and push my torso further on the floor, my legs spread in a total split as I lift my rear for him to have a better look. My aching cunt clenching and pulsating making him sigh deeply, his hands gripping my ass, spreading my cheeks further to look at my core contracting making his own hard cock twitch in anticipation.

"Ahh… Such a good girl." 

He let out another deep sigh of arousal and awe, his voice now hot and he smirked watching me for a few moments before he spoke again. 

"I think you deserve a reward now…~" 

He smiled cruelly as his left hand was slowly massaging my lower back. His breathing was heavier than before, his voice demandingly stoic now saying.

"But before that…. Ask me to punish you... Beg me..."

I whimpered and my voice sounded shaky from excitement. 

"Sugu.... Punish me~.... Please.. I want to be punished... I need to be punished...~“ 

He smiles in satisfaction as my voice was now shaking with pure excitement. He spanks my ass a little bit harder. 

"Beg more..." 

He says, smiling cruelly, slightly mocking even.

"I need to be punished~.... Please, I want to be punished by you....I need it, please.“

He just gave me another slap, this time hard, making my cheeks recoil, and making him exclaim excited. His voice was slightly hoarser and his face looked more aggressive and harsh, which only made my heart pump faster.

"More... Beg me for more..."

I exclaim as soon as I feel his spank and my body squirms as I stammer. 

"Suguru-sama… P-please, punish me more~…. I deserve to be punished severely~…. Please!!!“

He let out a loud satisfied laughter at the way I addressed him, making him feel even more ecstatic, his hand in accordance to his mood now even harsher. I sounded more desperate than before while he continues to slap my ass… This time really hard, almost painful and the sound echoed in his room. 

"Keep begging... Beg. Beg more..."

I started getting more vocal with my begging, and he liked it. He slapped my ass faster, almost merciless, making my body jolt each time he raised his hand. He was now speaking in an arrogant and harsh tone repeatedly slapping my ass.

"Good, you are begging now... But that’s not enough, you need to beg me like crazy and scream as loud as you can..."

Each time he slapped my ass, his hand was sliding all the way down my thigh before it slid all the way back up to place another hard slap.

I let out a short scream in reaction to his last spank as it was particularly firm and a little bit painful but I continue begging for more, my ass already bright red, the outlines of his hand visible on it, giving him yet another rush.

He smirks. 

"Your begging, your screams, and your reactions... They all drive me crazy... I love your reactions… You just don't know how much I love punishing you~. I love it when I get to see you squirm, shiver, scream and beg. Especially when your ass starts turning red like this." 

I blush at his words, as it felt like he almost broke character. His voice almost sounded soft and tender again I thought, if it weren’t for another hard slap that followed his words before he simply kneads my ass for a bit. Letting my cheeks jiggle with each touch he did before finally letting go of my ass. I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding in and I turned my head over my shoulder to look at him. His gaze fixated on me before he suddenly turns me around forcefully on the floor now. Immediately positioning himself above me, hovering.

"Mhmm, now let's see how long you’ll last." 

He then grabs both of my wrists and puts them above my head, his grip on them tight and firm as he leans closer. His voice was more intense as he spoke.

"Do you know what I'm about to do next~?"

I was already panting from excitement, my chest raising and lowering as I felt so incredibly aroused by him. His gaze, his smirk, the intensity in his eyes. I was completely overwhelmed by his demeanor. I try speaking up but it takes me several attempts to even get a tone out so I remained silent, making him smirk even wider at my helpless self.

"Prepare yourself...~"

He says grinning slyly as he moves his right hand off my wrist and instead grabs my neck. His grip was tight pulling my torso up by my neck and closer towards him. His eyes were filled with lust and hunger as he spoke in a more harsh and low tone again while forcing me to look at him.

"You are going to enjoy it… I promise!“

His grip on my neck, tight yet tender, as he chokes me slightly while I open my mouth, inhaling sharply. I look deep into his eyes. Seeing his normally gentle, dark eyes become these fierce and lustful ones, impatiently looking forward to do unholy things to me… I love it with every fiber of my being. It was turning me on so much, I started panting. 

He brings his legs between mine, his thighs forcefully parting my own as he was jerking his thighs against me to push my thighs up, positioning himself. His breath heavy while his grip on my neck tightens. My body trembles, and I shudder briefly as his eyes now look deep into mine.

The moment our eyes lock he smirks widely, immediately leaning towards my lips for a firm kiss while he starts to slowly push the tip of his throbbing cock against me, sloppily rubbing it against my already wet folds making me mewl into the kiss before he immediately breaks off the kiss making me exclaim and squirm desperately from the separation. He audibly exhales when he feels my soaked core, oozing essence down my folds as he moved his hips away slightly. 

"Holy shit… THIS wet already, even though I only spanked you!?… I always knew you were a naughty one…!“

He releases my wrists now before immediately moving his left hand between my legs, rubbing his fingers against my soaked folds briefly before his middle finger plunges in without warning, making me jolt and gasp for air. His slender finger reaching in deeper than my own ever could, the heat and clamminess of my cunt making him groan quietly as he watches his finger getting pulled inside when he tries to pull it out, my core clenching it as if gripping on for dear life making him curse under his breath. He keeps pumping his finger in a few times, rubbing against my gummy walls, grazing over the spot he knows like it was his own, making me shriek out as loud as his grip on my throat allowed me. Twisting his middle finger inside a few times before switching to his ring finger, doing the same before sliding in both, making me inaudibly exclaim.

"Fucking hell….Y/N, how are you this tight again!? I definitely am not fucking you enough… God damn!“

"N-no… you don’t~“ He chuckles at my response and his fingers move deeper while his grip on my neck tightens just a bit due to him leaning into me for another kiss. Our kiss deepens, as he forces my mouth to open up and pushes his tongue in, meshing against my own. His lips slightly parted as his hot breath is brushing against my face and lips while he continues slipping his tongue into every nook of my mouth. I quietly moan into the kiss making him smirk when he heard. 

Hearing me moan in pleasure was like music to his ears. It was like a cue for him as he immediately removed his fingers, rubbing whatever essence he has on them onto his tip, then palming himself to have more control over his already throbbing length before he pressed himself into me. Stretching me out with his girth with every bit he pushes forward, forcing me to break off the kiss to audibly take a deep breath in while his grip on my throat got tighter again making me unable to move even an inch away from him before he then pushes himself in one motion inside, making me shriek out in a high pitch. He groans into my ear, whispering.

"Fuck, Y/N….! You are going to nip my cock off with how tight your cunt is..!! What are you doing to her to make her so tight every damn time..!?“

My face blushes from his words and is reddening even further due to the lack of oxygen as I desperately try getting a bit of air into my lungs. He grips my hip tightly and starts to mercilessly thrust his cock into me. With each of his thrust my whole body started to recoil intensely and my already restricted breathing kept getting faster and heavier. I was like a toy for him. The harder he pushed, the more I moaned and shook with pleasure. My whole body was at his mercy. His grip on my neck makes me groan and yelp for air while he moves even harder and faster into me, brutally bullying his way inside my slick walls, harshly hitting against my cervix, making me literally scream each time he hits against it. Due to his pace my whole body was still recoiling, my breasts moving in accordance to his thrusts, forcing his attention onto my chest now. The grip he placed on my throat was still firm, as he let go of my hip to slap my breasts now, making me shriek at the sudden sensation. Hearing me moaning and screaming out from his rough pace and slaps on my breasts arouses and turns him on exponentially.

"That’s my girl, Y/N. Take everything!“

He praises me. With every slap he did his breath became hotter and his voice more sultry.

"You are such a bad girl...~" 

He says breathlessly as he continues his deep and harsh thrusts. He stopped slapping my breasts and instead slaps my face in a rather gentle intensity, nevertheless making me shriek from surprise.

"But I love bad girls...~"

He could see the ecstasy written all over my face, as I was nearing my peak any second now, but I was unable to speak, barely getting enough air to function. My reactions just made him moan softly when he noticed and his breath was getting more and more shallow. He loosens his grip on me finally since he wanted me to be able to speak and I immediately draw deep breaths to get in more oxygen while I yelp and make completely helpless sounds, before letting him know. 

"Su-sugu~ I....Ahh-..!! I’m.... close~.….Don’t… stop!!!“

When he heard my whimpering, whining voice begging him, he smiled leaning closer to me, placing his hand back on my hip.

"You're almost there…?~" 

His voice sultry as he went faster and harder, slapping my chest again, saying.

"C’mon, Y/N…! Be a good girl and come for me…!“ 

My crying voice turned into a long moan, yelling out his name, before my whole body started tensing up to then violently quaking. My core clenching around him tightly while contracting and pulsating, making him groan out loudly. 

"I can feel it~! Fuuuck….!! You got even tighter, holy shit!!!“ 

He let out another guttural moan and gave my chest another hard slap before pinching my nipple hard, as he let go of my throat completely now to grab my breasts with both his hands. I start coughing slightly drawing deep breaths before they immediately turn into pants. He was thrusting even harder into me and I couldn’t help but scream out. High pitched screams of pleasure combined with heavy panting as I keep repeating his name.

"SUGU-RUU-!!! SU-GURU!!!!! SUGURUU!!!!“

"That's it, keep going..! Scream my name, come for me!~“

He moans with pleasure, too. The high he got from my reactions just made his blood rush, making him chase his own climax with intensity now. 

"Scream! Scream for me!“

I continue screaming as he thrusts harder and faster, our bodies slamming against one another making the lewdest and most ecstatic sounds, filling the room with the sound and melting in with his moans and my screams when I suddenly tremble and shake heavily making me grip onto him, digging in my nails into his shoulders making him growl as my eyes roll to the back of my head. I shiver, clenching him tightly in intervals as I finally cum and cream all over his cock repeating his name over and over.

"Su-guru-! Sugu-ru!!! Ahhh!!!“

He smirked and moved faster and harder, one of his hands grabbing my chin as he slaps my chest and face continuously. My teeth now gritted as I ride out the high of my orgasm, while I wrap my arms around his neck now, my elbows resting on his shoulders while one arm goes around him completely and the other one grips into his beautiful, long black locks sending shivers down his spine, making him unable to continue his slaps.

"Fuuuck!….. Y/N!!“

He exclaims excited, praising me for my orgasm as I keep repeating his name, making his moans louder, too. He watches my whole body tremble violently now almost reaching his own orgasm, when he suddenly grips my throat again forcing me to loosen my embrace on him, my hands then snaking around his waist towards his back.

"Open your mouth." 

He says hoarsely, his voice laced with lust as his movements got more and more irregular and slowed down slightly. I obey immediately, opening my mouth.

"You're such a good girl.... open wider!"

He says breathlessly, smirking wide again as he saw me obediently open my mouth wider, his movements got more and more irregular.

"Wider..."

His grip on my throat tightening, squeezing further, and I could see the desire in his eyes. I nod, opening my mouth as wide as possible. He smirks and spits into my mouth aggressively, while squeezing my throat further, chocking me more. When he saw me gagged, my throat and face reddening, my eyes bloodshot and popping out, just the way he liked it, he released my throat and spoke with a more satisfied tone.

"Good girl... What a good fucking girl you are! Do you have any complaints?“

Not letting me get in a word he continues breathlessly, picking up his pace again.

"No? Good. You better stay quiet, and do as I say... Now, I wonder if you'll continue to be a good girl or turn to a bad girl..." 

I swallow his spit and nod, yelping.

"A good one… I’m a good girl~…“

"No…You’re definitely a bad girl... a really dirty one.. so I'll have to discipline you." 

He says immediately slapping my cheek with a menacing smirk, and grabbing my throat again, adding.

"You like it, don't you? You like being punished, don't you?" 

"I… do..!“

I whimper aroused. He laughs. To him my voice, my whimpering voice made me sound pathetic but so hot at the same time. He spits in my mouth again aggressively with a sadistic smile on his face. He smirks as I tried swallowing it while struggling due to him choking me. He felt so powerful, squeezing my throat even harder, slapping my cheek again.

"Oh, and how you like it! A dirty girl like you, wants to be abused. You like it rough, don't you?"

I simply nod, the tight grip on my throat felt almost elevating, and I continue panting and moaning whilst enjoying everything he does to me. My face was already red from both pain and pleasure. He smirks again seeing the look of me enjoying it, as he speaks with a more sadistic tone.

"You want me to rough you up more?" 

As he said that, he slapped my cheek again, squeezing my throat even tighter than before. I yelp, my tongue hanging out, my eyes rolling back while he smiles with a sadistic grin. My face red, thick round tears dwelling up in the corners of my eyes from him choking me, but it's obvious that I was enjoying every second of it. He speaks slyly while he continues to choke me, slapping my cheeks, and squeezing my throat even tighter this time, as I gasp for air making him chuckle.

"Such a dirty girl... Do you want me to squeeze your throat even tighter?~"

"Sugu....~ I'll... pass out…~“

I say breathlessly and continue panting. He smirks when he heard my breathlessness, now slowly loosening the grip on my throat and smiling wickedly.

"Don't worry, I won't squeeze too hard just enough to satisfy my dirty girl. Can't let you pass out, right~?"

He then resumes slapping my breasts harder than before, again and again, making my breasts red and marking them with the tips of his fingers. The pain was so intense but it only added to my pleasure. Then the slapping stopped and he let go of my throat holding me tightly by my hips to resume his deep thrusts as he now went slow but rough, his voice breathless as he smirks widely.

"Now, have you learned your lesson? Are you going to be a good girl... or are you a naughty, dirty one?"

Feeling his hand letting go off my throat made me take in several deep breaths, to draw in some oxygen before I answered him. I contemplate for a bit on what to answer him as I try calming my breath, but I just repeat what he already knew...

"A naughty.. one…~"

He leans forward and says with a sly smirk on his face.

"A naughty one, huh? Still not enough? Want more painful slaps?~"

"Never... enough~..... I want Sugu to be.... harsher….~“

"Harsher, you say?! How harsh you want it to be?"

"Turn me over... on the bed and spank me... while continuing your rough pace…~"

A sadistic grin spreads on his lips. The look of me begging, wanting to be spanked, turned him on intensely.

"You want to be spanked on the bed? Fine... I'll show you exactly how harsh I can be~"

His sadistic, lustful look disappears for an instant when he grabs me by the arms lifting me off the floor suddenly to throwing me towards his bed. He gets onto the bed with me, turning me on my stomach and forcefully and effortlessly lifting me by my hips, so I am on my knees and my ass is lifted up before he spoke once more with a sadistic tone.

"Now, you shall have the harshest punishment ever~"

I immediately whimper aroused as I couldn’t wait for him to continue.

"This time, I'll spank you so hard, it'll make your butt cheeks red, then I’ll bruise them, and then scar you. It's going to be the most painful experience you ever had~"

I knew he only said that to keep up his character but I couldn’t help but look at him over my shoulder as I plea and he smirks at me. He loves seeing me like this, begging and pleading.

"No..~ no scarring~“

"Why not? If I want to give you scars, then I will. There's nothing you can do about it but beg. Are you willing to beg me to spare you from that fate?"

He says defiantly raising an eyebrow, amused by my sudden reaction. I immediately lift myself up and turn myself around towards him nodding vigorously.

"Yes! No scarring.. Sugu, please..~“

My hands move immediately towards his groin, palming his still hard cock firmly, stroking him with both hands as I begin taking his tip into my mouth, tongue flat against the underside of his throbbing length, before enclosing it with my mouth, making him immediately groan out loud, his lids fluttering briefly as he leans his head back for a split second gripping a handful of my hair, while I please him and speak with my mouth full of his cock. 

"No- scarring..~ You won't love... me anymore..~"

I say continuously pleasing him with my mouth my eyes locked onto his, my tongue sliding and twirling around his twitching cock, making him groan loudly and grit his teeth as I take him in as deep as I can with a wiggle of my head to push him even deeper down my throat, until I gag and choke on him, forcing a deep guttural groan out of him. His eyes briefly widen as he collects my hair in a messy ponytail holding it tightly to support me as I continue blowing him, my head bopping on him as I lick alongside his whole length, moving further down to suck the skin of his sensitive balls into my mouth, his eyes narrowing while his brows furrow before he frowns at my words and says.

"Are you really that stupid?~ I'll always love you, even if you have scars and even if I disfigure your body completely. I'd still love you, because you're mine. Not because you're pretty, but because you're mine.“

My eyes dart up at him, my movements coming to a halt immediately. He looks at me intensely as I take my mouth off of him with a light smack of my lips. The way he said that made my heart immediately skip a beat and I lift myself, both of us now standing on our knees. My cheeks flushed red from his sudden statement making me feel incredibly content. I couldn’t help but whisper.

"You… really mean that…?"

"Huh, what?"

He asks surprised. My sudden reaction obviously caught him off guard a little bit. The way I suddenly changed my tone makes him look at me intensely and I could feel his character shift to his usual self. He gently places his hand on my cheek caressing me with his thumb.

"Y/N, you know that I love you, right…? No matter what. Nothing could change that or would keep me from that, especially no scars."

He gently places his other hand at the nape of my neck pulling me towards him and kissing me. And the kiss is everything. Calm and gentle at first. Becoming more and more passionate. Erotic. Lustful. Intense. Hot. And the noises we make during are turning us both on even further. I lean backwards pulling him with me onto the bed. He shifts on top of me before breaking off the kiss. My heart racing now extremely as we gaze into each others eyes. Hovering over me a few strands of his hair fall to the front, his eyes moving all over my face, taking in my blush, my slightly narrowed eyes staring up at him in awe while my heavy breathing is giving away how aroused I am. He caresses my cheek gently making me lean into his touch. 

My hand moves towards his hair brushing a few strands of it behind his ear as I take in his gentle smile. His eyes soft just like his touch as I take in all of him. His muscular physique hovering over me, making me sigh aroused, before I feel his hand move down to my thigh gently parting my legs as he leans down for another kiss. The hot and lustful atmosphere was filling us with more and more intent. It was so arousing that it made our desire become uncontrollable. Our panting only made us want each other more and more. 

"Sugu… Take me…Now, please!"

I whisper breathlessly between kisses as I lift my legs sending shivers down his spine, his breath was already hot, when he smirked and nodded, finally giving in to his desires. He moves in between my legs palming his thick cock, stroking himself a few times before gently rubbing his tip repeatedly up and down between my folds, knowing exactly how much I love it when he does that. 

„Ready for me, Y/N?“

He says pushing himself in.The instant his tip enters I sigh in pleasure, a deep and guttural growl escaping him as he let go of his cock to sink in deeper. Hearing my reaction makes him growl louder. The way I sigh… The way I burn up from heat, the way I take him in, sliding up so easily…  How hot and wet and tight I am… All of it made him lose his composure and it was like he couldn't help himself anymore. His hand immediately moves towards my folds, spreading them while he continued thrusting himself into me as he starts rubbing my clit now, making my hips buck and my whole body jolt as I was about to let out a loud moan before his lips go back to move on mine, muffling my voice.

I moan into our kiss instead, as he was overstimulating me now but I love how everything feels, his lips, his hands, his breath, his body on top of mine. His weight on top of me feels like a weighted blanket, giving me an incredibly comforting feeling. Completely overwhelmed nevertheless, my mind goes blank as all I can think about is wanting to come. Our connection now so intense our kiss so deep, no words were needed. 

My intense squeaking sounds and my body moving against his in harmony was such a turn on for him. His grunts and moans become louder forcing our kiss to break off. He grabs me tightly, still vigorously rubbing my clit in circular motions, while mercilessly pounding me. He was already close to his orgasm but he had no intention of releasing before he made a mess out of me. The feeling of our bodies slamming against each other was one of the most intense, erotic, and arousing feelings I ever had. The loud and lewd noises of our bodies were just making everything hotter and more intense. My entire body was shaking from the heat of pleasure. His thumb now rubbing my clit more intensely, occasionally flicking his index finger to then just resume to rubbing with his thumb making me squirm and jolt beneath him, repeatedly exclaiming and gasping in between moans.

Due to his deep thrusts I was literally screaming high pitched in pleasure, as my body caved in. He drove me insane and he knew it, and my orgasm was rapidly approaching while he continued to aggressively overstimulate my clit with his rubs. At the same time he changed the angle of his thrusts, now brushing against a particularly sensitive spot on my gummy walls making me arch my back and scream while I can‘t get enough. Just a few more strokes and I was at my limit. My body tensing up as the pleasure was building up extremely, my breathing now labored as my moans came in quicker and louder before I finally came all over his cock, reaching one of the most intense climaxes I ever experienced. My body quaking and trembling as my core clenches and contracts around him, making him groan loudly and curse under his breath whilst he still moves fast and rough into me.

The instant he felt me orgasm he knew he was going to follow closely after. And oh, how right he was, thrusting through my orgasm chasing his own, uttering and mumbling curses as he kept going. His grip on me became so tight it was almost painful, making his fingertips turn white before the sounds of his own relief eventually grew louder as he kept pushing into me towards his own orgasm, before his moves got more and more irregular until they were nothing but simple jolts and jerks and he eventually stopped moving entirely, pressing himself deeply into me, his cock still twitching and throbbing, releasing spurts of hot cum plastering the insides of my walls. I yell in unison with him as he finally came and I loved the feeling more than anything. The sensation and pleasure of his orgasm were so unbelievable, beyond any description and it took some time for him to recover his breath. His body just twitching and trembling whilst his voice was only a hoarse mutter as he let out an intense guttural sigh while being filled with overwhelming relief. Watching my reactions to him cumming he thinks out loud.

"Y’know you are definitely enjoying this too much…"

He says smirking and chuckling breathlessly while still panting, his grip on my hips still tight and our bodies still connected because none of us have managed to move away yet.

"I can‘t help it…~ You just feel… too fucking amazing."

I say panting, trying to catch my breath from the intense pleasure that still rushes through the entirety of my body and his growl became a soft chuckle. His breathing becomes deeper as he begins to regain his consciousness and his face returns the arrogant grin he wears so well. His hand gently stroking my cheek with his knuckles as he nods.

"Mm-hm, you're forgiven. But you do understand that I can't make you feel completely satisfied with just one go…Right?" 

He leans on his elbow so that he was higher up, hovering, raising his eyebrow and smirking to tease me. I look up at him blushing as I chuckle at his remark.

"How about one more kiss before we continue…~"

He says smiling widely as he leans his lips against mine and gives me one more long last kiss…

#I wanna die I love him so much #he is so baby #jjk #jjkxreader #jjk x reader #jjk smut #jjk fic #geto suguru #geto x reader #geto x y/n #geto x you #jujutsu geto #jjk geto #geto smut #suguru #jjk suguru #getou suguru x reader #suguru geto smut #jujutsu kaisen suguru #jujutsu #jujutsu gojo #jjk fanfic #jjk x you

[danveration]

Could you do a Cooper Howard x reader angst? Something with the reader getting injured or dying and/ or becoming a ghoul?

You and your stories are amazing btw❤️!!!

Thank you!

Parings: Cooper Howard x reader

Summary: You get shot and Cooper comes to your aid.

Word count: 1344

Warnings: Guns, blood, shooting, reader getting shot in the thigh, Cooper being a softy

A/N: sorry if you meant post-nuclear bomb. (if you wanted cooper howard like.. normal human & stuff) ALSO I JUST REALIZED THIS ISN'T VERY ANGSTY 😭😭 FFS. I hope you like it either way :))

It was a hectic situation. There were at least ten people pointing guns directly at you from all around. This was not how you expected your day to go. You didn’t even do anything remotely wrong. Just stumbled into the wrong place at the wrong time. Which was pretty common around here.

You were by yourself right now, which was another downfall. You didn’t have the capabilities yet to kill a bunch of people on your own. Maybe if you sweet talked them..? You doubt that would work. If only Cooper were here. He would have them all dead in a blink of an eye. Especially because they were threatening you. He seemed to have a soft spot for you for whatever reason. You felt the same way towards him. Even though people would look at you like you’re insane, you don’t care. You can see something in him that nobody else can. He always had a bit of a protective nature towards you the moment you two met. You thought he would’ve killed you, but he just laughed at how scared you looked and ensured that he doesn’t kill without a motive. And in his words “won’t dare harm a pretty thing like you.”

He is currently god knows where. You were tagging along with him but he went to go get more vials. He said he knows a spot where he can snag a couple. That was about two hours ago. It would be great if he just miraculously appeared right now.

“L-listen. I don’t want any trouble, okay? I’m just passing through.” You say, trying to sound brave but the whimper in your voice made itself known.

“Yeah, passing through OUR territory.” One of the men said, with a raspy tone.

“I didn’t know! I’ll go. Right now.” You say quickly, starting to move forward.

“Uh-uh!” One of them yelled.

You hear all their guns go off safely and you stop dead in your tracks. The panic and fear you feel makes your skin develop goosebumps.

“We can’t let you go, can we? What kind of example would we be settin’ if we did?” One of them spoke.

“Oh, just walk right into our territory, It’s all good!! It wouldn't be our territory if we did that, would it?” One of them say in a mocking tone.

“P-please. I just-“ You begin to say.

“Now what on hells creation is goin’ on here?” You hear no other than Cooper’s voice in the other direction.

You subconsciously release a breath you didn’t know you were holding.

All the people snap their heads to the ghouls voice. Some of them look scared, but some of them look angry that their fun got spoiled.

“Well? Gonna keep gawking or is somebody going to tell me what the fucks goin’ on here?” He says.

“W-well we caught this one roaming on our territory.” One of the people spoke up.

“And?” Cooper questions them, as if daring them to say what they were going to do to you.

They’re all silent. Except for one. He must be new here or something because he speaks up in an angry tone, “and were gonna kill them.” He says, pointing the gun at you. He looks around at all his other gang members, and how they’re not pointing the gun at you anymore.

He raised a brow, “what’s the big idea? Why’s nobody else-“

BANG

Cooper shoots the man in the arm, not letting him finish his sentence.

Everything went slow from there. You see Cooper giving the man cold eyes, and then from your vision, you see the man look down at his arm, then you see him, with his other hand, grab his gun and quickly shoot you in your thigh before Cooper sends another bullet straight through his head, leaving him instantly falling to the ground.

You hiss out in pain and look down, seeing red liquid gush out and stain your pants.

Cooper whips his head towards you.

“Fuckin’-“ He mumbles as he rushes over, getting on his knees in front of you.

Everyone around immediately makes a quick exit, not wanting to suffer the same fate as the other guy.

Cooper would’ve killed them all for that, if it wasn’t for him not wanting to take his eyes or attention off of you. He feels scared, worried, mad, and mostly desperate. Desperate to stop the bleeding, desperate to go back in time and never leave you alone in the first place. He would laugh at himself for feeling these feelings any other time, just not now. Now he has to focus all his attention on you.

“Is it bad?” You mumble out to him, not wanting to fully look at it.

Cooper thankfully notices how it isn’t in a vital place. The bullet went right through, so he doesn’t have to worry about digging it out or it causing complications.

“Well you got shot, sweetheart. It’s bad but it isn’t deadly. You’ll be alright.” He says, trying to ease the worry off of you.

He’s got to get you to a safe spot so he can properly treat the wound. Luckily he has lots of experience with these kinds of situations.

He stands up and leans down, putting his arm behind your knees, lifting you up and carrying you bridal style.

Your eyes go wide and you gasp in shock, but don’t complain. You don’t think you can walk anyhow.

Your cheeks flush and you feel a swell in your heart from his actions. He walks in silence, his brain wracking at how he shouldn’t have left you alone, and how he swears to make sure this won’t happen again. You’re in his arms, hurting, but for some reason you swear it hurts a little less because he’s close to you.

“This won’t never happen again, I swear it. You better be more cautious around these parts though, darlin’. Especially with me not around. People don’t give no mercy.” He says to you.

A little while later, you’re sitting on a mattress in an abandoned building. Your pants are pulled down a bit on one side, so he has access to the wounded leg. Cooper carefully cleaning and wrapping up your wound with a concentrated face. You stare at him and how his eyes look, how his forehead is frowned down in focus, and how his hands are handling you carefully, as if they aren’t used on a daily basis for killing and violence.

“You’re lucky it’s in this spot. A little to the left or right, and you might’ve not been able to use this leg again. Would’ve had to get you those robot leg attachments.” He says, laughing at the end of his sentence.

“You mean the ones that practically rip your leg to shreds? No thanks.” You say, laughing.

You look at him softly as he’s smiling gently, while finishing up wrapping your leg.

“Now would you look at that? All better.” He says, gesturing to your skillfully wrapped leg.

“Thank you, Coop.” You say. “I’m really lucky you came in time.”

“Well, I’d argue I was a tad bit late, but of course, darlin’. I’m glad I got there before things could’ve gotten worse.” He says back to you, adjusting his hat on his head.

He cares about you. It realized that right when he heard that gun shot go in your direction. His heart sank to his stomach immediately, thinking the worse. He’s going to make sure to keep a tight leash on you from now on out. Not in a bad way, just in a way that he’s able to be there if anything happens.

“Thank you, Cooper.” You say softly out of nowhere, looking at him with a bit of blush on your cheeks.

He nods his head in your direction. “You’re quite welcome, sweetheart. Now why don’t you be a doll and rest up. I might’ve wrapped it all neat n’ all, but you’ll still need to let it heal. We can take a couple hours break here."

#my works #fallout #fallout x reader #ghoul #the ghoul #ghoul fallout #cooper howard #cooper howard x reader #cooper howard fallout x reader #ghoul x reader #the ghoul x reader #fallout ghoul x reader #ghoul fallout x reader #cooper howard fallout #cooper howard x you #fallout fan fiction

[myflagmeansace]

Hi all! It's taking a lot longer to caption Samba's BTS improv video, but here's the video without captions and a separate transcript with dialogue tags for now! 😘

Scene 1

Ed is determined to banter about Jeff's Inn by the Sea after gravy basket Hornigold ruined it.

Ed (proudly announcing what he does at the inn): My specialty is seafood. Um and I cook the sea...food.

Stede (completely and earnestly smitten): You cook it perfectly, by the way.

Ed (sweetly accepting his compliment): Thank you! 😊

Stede (so appreciative of his love's fictional cooking skills): I love that.

Ed (remembering how well Stede pours drinks *possibly inspired by the Ed draped across a bar fanart Taika called out in the IMDB The Outfronts interview*): Um and you are the cocktail man.

Stede (so excited about his role): I am the cocktail man!

Ed: Yeah!

Stede (really playing into his role): I make a drink or two.

Ed (a little dazed at imagining Stede as a cocktail man pouring him several drinks): Yep oh yeah! Um and more than two sometimes.

Stede (feeling a little cheeky): Sometimes we get on it, don't we? Yeah!

Ed (picking up on what Stede is putting down but also fuck off Hornigold, Ed is totally a people person at this fictional inn!): Yeah, yeah! You know, we get on it. You work the back of house, I work the front of house.

Stede: Yes!

Ed: Yep.

Stede (recognizing the importance of taking turns, in more than one way 😉): Sometimes I work the front of house.

Ed (agreeing to being a versatile partner): Yeah and then I-you give me a turn working the back.

Stede: Yes.

Ed: Yeah.

Stede (shameless at this point): You like that, don't you?

Ed (a little flustered but keeping his cool): Aw, I mean, I-you know, it's just nice for a change now and then, you know?

Stede (liking the thought of keeping Ed satisfied): Something different. Yeah!

Ed (admitting to himself why he likes working the back): Yeah! It's just nice to be in control.

*Stede proudly gazing at Ed*

Scene 2

Taika: *breaks, closing his eyes and smiling*

Rhys: *wheezing/laughing*

Scene 3

Stede (leaning into his role of cocktail man, expert of drinks): Well imagine us as...a mixed drink.

Ed (absolutely smitten, ready to listen and pressing his finger against his lips to calm the urge to press his lips all over the dork in front of him): I am imagining it!

Stede (really struggling to capture the expertise of a cocktail man because he's more of a gardening guy so he can't think of a drink good enough to compare Ed to so he goes with whatever sounds cool and tough): You're the hard...sort of...

Ed (smile falls and starts feeling sad because Stede is calling him hard when he's really just a soft kitty princess but he'll go along with it because he gets it 😿 he copies his hand gestures to appear agreeable): I'm the hard one.

Stede (sweating bullets):...rustic...

Ed (definitely not liking the word rustic and tucking in his paws, I mean hands): Yeah.

Stede (knowing he’s completely boned it as a cocktail man): Ummm...

Ed (trying to save the moment and compares himself to a rare whiskey): The bitter one like a whiskey.

Stede (agreeing out of desperate relief): Bitter whiskey at the bottom. Yes!

Ed (remembering he doesn't actually like whiskey but he does like rum): Yeeah. Like yes, yeah. I'm like the whiskey or the rum.

Stede (changing the focus to distract Ed from his clumsy cocktail man moment): And I'm the fluffy kind of ✨️epervescent✨️…

(new word alert lol I think he meant effervescent)

Ed (entertained by the word choice): Ohhhh!

Stede (playing it up with jazz hands):...tang!

Ed (doesn't dare correct his excited boyfriend): Epervescent!

Stede: Yes!

Ed (gestures at his bubbly boyfriend): Yeah! You're the bubbly one!

Stede (wiggling in excitement): That just jumps in on top!

Ed: The Tang!

Stede: Yeah!

Ed (trying out a pickup line): Yeah you're the tang to my tong.

Stede (has no idea what a tong is but he loves rhyming): Ahhh! You're the zangy, I'm the tangy!

Ed (absolutely enamored and giggling with joy at Stede's flirting): Aw The Zangy and the Tangy! We should call the joint that! The Seaside and…

Stede (high pitched mating call): Tangy and Zangy!

Ed (falls apart laughing, holding on to Stede): ...Tangy Zang-!

Scene 4

Ed (giving Stede a boyfriend test): We're very different you see. We're cut from different cloths us two. Um but somehow when you stitch that cloth together...

Stede (appreciating Ed's deep thoughts): Mmm.

Ed: What does it make?

Stede (passing the test with flying colors): Well, a beautiful seam! ❤️

Ed: 💘😳🥰🫠

Scene 5

Ed (taking the opportunity to analyze and get near the Stiddies): We're leather and silk.

Stede (oblivious, trying to romantically serenade Ed): Leather and silk!

Ed: It's uh...*begins nervously singing too* and all things milk!

Stede (heartfelt but slightly confused crooning): ...together!

Ed (trying his best to rhyme): ...and from different ilks.

Ed (starts over, pulling it together as he goes): Leather and silk, from different ilks...

Stede (too stubborn to be apart from Ed even in song):...together we....

*Stede waits, anticipating a masterpiece finish*

Ed (hyperfocusing on dairy and possibly Stiddies at this point): ...from the udder...of life...we make milk!

*Stede remains utterly still as his brain catches up with Ed's*

*Ed finishes, baffled by his own song but he stands by those words because life really is like a cow's udder, and leather and silk are of different ilks, and in a strange and cosmic way, they do indeed make milk 🙂‍↕️🫶🏽*

#i took some creative liberties #but i think it works #ofmd #ofmd s2 #stede bonnet #edward teach #our flag means death #rhys darby #taika waititi #ofmd bts #transcript with dialogue tags

[sehodreams]

Thinking about perv anton with his older girlfriend not even sex crazed he just has a bunny’s libido

Wanting to fuck her everywhere in every place in every position

Mouth tits thighs

And he seems like he can’t stop discovering kinks

Even when he’s hazy with a fever he lays in bed staring up at her with adoration as she’s taking of her clothes and that’s when it hit him a new kink didn’t even know it was a thing (then he googled it) her skirt came off and her hands reached for his forehead bending down to push his hair away “you’re still burning up” she says with a pout before straightening up again before her fingers looped through her tights about to take them off before he stopped her begging her to let him come on them and eat her through them

got too carried away feel free to ignore this 😵‍💫

-🍒

I was literally thinking about something like that for forgiving others is easy, forgiving yourself not that much (god why did I make a tittle so long), but the fever is such a nice touch I love it 😭🩷✨

I also got carried away too hahaha, this is just a little thought, no proof read like always.

Tw and tags: MDNI, no p in v, sniffing, tights, sexual content.

Anton eagerly waiting for you to come home, his older girlfriend and favorite person in the whole world, happy to finally see you when you arrive from your exhausting office life with one bag full of his medication in one hand and a takeout order for him in the other, there instead of on your own apartment just to check on your pretty boyfriend after a long tiring day.

You innocently move his hair and smile to him, asking him how he feels and he really feels like shit but now looking at you his mouth answers before he can even process it, "a lot better now that I have you with me", making you giggle and forget about all your stress.

You move to his closet so you can change into something more comfortable, feeling his eyes follow your every move but already used to it after so many days and nights together to even mind, you pull down your skirt without much thinking, trying to find something to wear so you can give him his dinner and his medicine so he can sleep the whole night.

Anton watches you bend down to choose one of his numerous t-shirts, feeling something tingling inside when he sees the nylon become more transparent with the sudden movement, showing your black panties through it and the plump of your ass, making his mind even more dizzy apart from the fever that was consuming him.

"Wait," he says before you pull down your tights too, "come for a second".

You walk to him unsure about what's going on but not daring to question him when he looks so weak in his bed all alone with red cheeks.

He, lying down, grabs one of your hands and looks up to you before his other hand rests on your hip, touching the fabric and pressing his fingers to see how your skin accepts his strength and lets itself be molded to his own desire.

"Anton..." you call his name, perfectly identifying the need in his eyes he always has when he wants something from you, "you're still sick."

"I just want to touch you a little bit," he says as if it was the most common thing to itch for a little touch in those moments when one is sick.

You try to move apart and not let yourself get dragged into his schemes, but you're weak to the handsome boy and his well used and known tactics to get what he wants. Still, q couple of kisses over the back of your hand, two sentences about how much he has missed you and one look at the red tip of his cock that he displays to you with no shame is enough for you to open your legs and let him push his nose into the softness of your thighs.

He slowly sniff the aroma of the nylon, it wasn't the best one, but the feeling of the tip of his nose caressing it makes his cock jump and a knot in his stomach starts to form with every touch until he finds your clothed cunt and his eyes almost roll back his head with how good you smell there and how different the sensation of his nose sinking into your lips is.

Like instinct, you've been getting wet the second you crossed his door. There hasn't been a single night with that boy in which you haven't been fucked in his bed until you've been a crying mess and he had continued thrusting even when his groans have become whimpers and his cock has already filled you so much his cum is spilling over the bed with each push, so your body had started, at some point in your relationship, to sent a signal to your core everytime you were there in his space, ready for him to take you.

Anton had a sex drive you had never seen before, sometimes a bit disturbing considering how much he likes to overstimulate himself, not only while fucking into your cunt, but begging for you to sit on his face or directly ride his clothed cock until he came inside his pants and a wet spot appeared making you stop before he got hard again and asked you to continue. It's needless to say that you always walked out of there a bit sore, but so satisfied you never felt the need to sit and question why he was like that.

You're back into reality when his flat tongue starts to damp the clothing covering your clit waiting for the usual sensation of him directly playing with it, but you can't seem to enjoy it when your poor boyfriend is sweating out his fever and is down on his knees. A place in your heart stings and you want to ask him to lie and rest comfortably once again, however, knowing him, he'd rather stay burning up with his face against your pussy until he fainted than letting you go after noticing how your juices accumulated under your panties.

As if he was high, he has lost eyes and doesn't seem to have a single thought inside his head apart from getting what he wants from you, and even if the pressure of his big nose under you it's good, it's nothing like the sensation of him drowning with your slick and his tongue thrusting inside your hole.

You moan his name, wanting to feel him eat you out properly, but looking down at him you see him so satisfied sniffing and suffocating with your pussy over the tights while jerking off his cock that you decide to just let him get what he wants so he can find his release and accept his medicine without complain.

"Anton, will you go to sleep after this?" You ask hoping that he hears you through his haze and answers at least with a nod so he doesn't try to convince you into doing more later.

He nods and you finally can breath.

"Promise?" Your fingers play with his hair and you make him look at you in the eyes this time before he, rubbing his nose up and down while answering, nods again.

You, believing him, feel free of guilt to help him get off this time.

It's easy, just like you thought, you flex your fingers through his moist scalp and grab the hems of his hairs, and leaving the compassion you always have for your boyfriend to let him get what he wants aside, you push your hips to his face and control the pace of his nose grinding with your clit and his tongue soaking your panties even more.

Your eyes flutter with every thrust and he looks elated to have you using him, so he ignores the tension inside his lower stomach and permits you to use him like you want until, with a singular moan from you, his dick aches and searches for some type of friction, finding nothing until you order him to touch himself again.

After he cums all over your feet not more than two minutes later, before he asks you to let him cum inside at least one time (or to break your tights and eat you out with the excuse of not wanting to be the only one having an orgasm), you move and slide them down to then toss them to a corner of his room.

You order him to lie down, and pressing your forehead over his, you notice that he's even more hot than when you arrived. You sigh, cursing yourself inside for being so weak and not been able to say no to a younger boy with an excessive lust that should learn, for at least once, that he couldn't get his way all the time.

But you look at him closing his eyes with a grin and you smile too, thinking that maybe the work of saying no to him you should leave it to others outside.

#riize smut #anton x reader #riize x reader #anton smut #lovely 🍒 #riize hard thoughts #riize hard hours

[fanfictilltheend]

❤️‍🔥Violent Heart Part 1: ♪All I've ever learned from love was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you ♫ (or the VERY DARK Stepdad!Mechanic!Covict!Joel x Afab!you one)❤️‍🔥

A/n: It's here!!!!!! 18+ Only. This took me 7 freaking months so you mofos better like, reblog, and comment. This is both my most and least personal fic I've ever written and it is dark and relies heavily on plot (no smut until part 2 but i swear it's worth the backstory!!!!) READ ALL OF THE TAGS DO NOT COME FOR ME UNLESS YOU DID THIS FR FR. This ones for my dark joel fangirlies(guys and NBies) and the daddy issues fam ily ❤️‍🔥 (also not me naming my fic in part after hallelujah by leonard cohen but there is a reason!!!!!!!!!!)

Summary: The story starts with Part 1 where afab!Y/N is a child and Joel is her new stepdad and this story explores their relationship. Themes of abusive family, domestic violence, child abuse, daddy issues, physical violence, murder, stepcest (kinda b/c he is divorced from her mom technically but she grew up with him as her stepdad), infidelity, age gap, and more are explored throughout the fic. PLEASE READ SPECIFIC TAGS (part 2 tags will be added with the release of part 2). Part 2 picks up with Y/N at age 20 and how her relationship with Joel has changed and gets steamier. NOTHING SEXUAL OCCURS BETWEEN Y/N and JOEL until Y/N is 20!!!!!!! Also check out this playlist of music that's in the fic!!!!

Tags (PLEASE READ): Afab!you, stepdad!joel, mechanic!joel, convict!joel, no apocalypse au, Mentions of sex (little detail), mentions of male masturbation, infidelity, domestic abuse/violence, sibling abuse/violence (no one ever talks about sibling abuse but it’s very real), physical child abuse, neglect, allusions to past domestic violence, cursing, brief mention of pedophilia and kidnapping (David), allusions to committing future pedophilia (David), threats, cancer mention, Sarah death discussion, Tommy death mention, murder, prison, mentions of god and religion, fights, general violence, alcohol consumption, using music lyrics to move the plot, daddy issues, use of y/n

Word Count: ~15k

PART 2 (coming soon)

Ao3 Link

Violent Heart Masterlist

Full Masterlist of all my work

Joel Miller is not a good man, that he knows like the backs of his calloused hands. 

He knows loss too, feels it burrowed in the hollow cavity of his chest. Sees it in the face of every little girl he meets. 

The memories sting. 

He knows pain, deep in the depths of his character, down to the fundamentals of what makes him something that resembles a human being. The belts, the bigger hands, the harsh words, and then the grief. The recent Bring back my babygirl! The ancient ¡Basta, Papí, por favor, no Tommy, no Mamá! ¡Por favor no esta noche! The indignity of begging, always reduced to begging to a cruel man, an indifferent doctor, a cruel universe. 

He knows hard work, how to work with his hands. He knows the grit and grease of labor. Sees the cogs turning in the engines he fixes, relates to them. Feels like he knows them intimately because he is one too, chugging along day after endless day. But no one dares fix Joel Miller.

Until…

Her name is Erica and she’d like her front bumper replaced, please. She has long eyelashes and a soothing voice. And she has money too, at least more than he, who is almost broke from the cost of Sarah’s medical bills. She comes with baggage, Joel can tell from looking into her eyes, but then again so does he. And he hasn’t been laid in god knows how long. 

She takes him on a date and he lets her. She reveals she has two kids, but Joel doesn’t care. They fuck at her place while the kids are at school and she wants it soft, like her hands, and that’s how Joel gives it to her. 

A week later, Joel has moved in, which is good because his rent was due and he couldn’t pay it. He still hasn’t met the children.

***

It’s Joel’s day off and he’s sitting on the couch in his new home. His back hurts, but that’s nothing new. He’s got an excellent view of their nice, big backyard with a wooden fence. The kind of home he would have liked to have given Sarah. He sighs. Technically, nothing is wrong.

Then he sees it. It takes him a second to realize what is going on. It’s a whirlwind. He sees the back gate open and two tumbling forms fall over the threshold onto the manicured grass. One form is bigger, a boy of about twelve or thirteen beating the shit out of a much smaller form, fists flying. The other form is a little girl, no more than eight, defending herself like her life depends on it. Perhaps it does with the way he’s going at her. 

This must be the son, Aiden, and the daughter, Y/N. 

He’s a good boy, really, but he has anger issues sometimes. He’s been through a lot. That’s what Erica said, but Joel does not see a good boy. He sees a bully. A disproportionately violent one at that. Nothing that tiny girl could have possibly done could warrant the brutality he sees before him. 

Anger is something else Joel knows intimately, and that is what he greets when he runs outside to end the fray.

“Stop that!” he roars, pulling Aiden off of Y/N.

“Who the fuck are you!?” the boy screams, fury and hatred radiating off of his entire being. 

He continues thrashing and punching at nothing as Joel restrains him.

“I’m gonna kill her!” he screams, his eyes bulging.

“What the hell happened?” Joel growls, still holding onto the livid boy–verging on young man. 

“She ripped up my paper!” he bellows. “For no fucking reason! I worked hard on it!”

“It was a lie,” she says with so much conviction Joel almost flinches.

He looks down at the little girl, her nose bleeding, her right eye turning purple. She has tears streaked down her face, but she is not crying. Her shirt is ripped. The first thing he thinks of when he sees her is Sarah. Of course it’s Sarah, how could he not think of her? But this little girl is different, has a different look in her eye. This look is much harder and feels like she’s lived a thousand lifetimes. He thanks god Sarah never looked that way, but somehow he wants to hear about everything this little girl has experienced. Something twangs in Joel’s chest that he has not felt in what feels like an eternity. 

“It was not a lie, you stupid bitch whore!” Aiden shouts angrily, still fighting back against Joel’s unrelenting grip. “Take that back!”  

“No, you take it back! Dad is not a hero. You could’ve picked anyone to write about and you choose him? After everything he’s done?” she screams herself.

The sound of her voice is powerful but desperate. Joel feels himself needing to know more and bury himself deep inside her experiences.

“SHUT UP!” Aiden yells, finally ceasing his movements. 

A tear falls from his cheek. 

“If I let you go, will you stop whooping your sister?” Joel snaps firmly.

“Get away from me, you stupid cuck!” Aiden curses, turning his energy to Joel. “Who the hell are you to me? Fuck you! I’m out of here!”

He wriggles out of Joel’s grasp and Joel lets him go and Aiden storms back out the rear gate, slamming it behind him.

“You alright?” he asks Y/N.

Joel crawls over on his knees, still upright, closer to her. 

“Had worse,” she shrugs, running a hand through her messed-up hair. 

She wipes the tears and blood from her cheeks.

Joel shudders to imagine what she means.

“He always like that?”

“Yeah,” she nods. “So you Mom’s new boyfriend?”

“Something like that,” he nods back. ”’M Joel. Joel Miller.”

“I’m Y/N,” she says a bit mournfully. “Here,” she continues suddenly, reaching out a small hand to his cheek. She wipes blood (hers) gently off his stubbly face. “Didn’t mean to get ya dirty.”

Joel is nothing short of touched. He wasn’t even aware he could still have such a feeling. His cheeks go rosy pink. His heart pulses. He stares at her delicate hands and notices a long, thin scar on her left middle finger. 

“‘S no trouble, sweetheart,” he hears himself reassuring her. “Let’s get you cleaned up. Could even mend your shirt if ya want. Know how to sew and all.”

He reaches out a large hand, but she flinches at the sudden movement. A dull ache wells up in Joel’s chest. 

“Not gonna hurt you, honey. Swear it.” 

He wants with every fiber of his being for her to believe him, for it to be true. 

She takes his hand.

***

That evening Erica is still not home, working late Joel supposes. It is nine o’clock when Aiden slinks back into the house.

Joel stops him from making his way up the stairs. He is more than familiar with the art of creeping.

“Think you oughta apologize to your sister,” he says as gently as possible. Maybe he can impart some manners onto this unruly child now that he’s calmed down some. “You beat her real bad. You’re much bigger than her.”

“I’d do it again,” Aiden hisses, his eyes cold. “It makes me feel better.”

And then, to Joel, the answer is simple. What do you do with a bully who won’t repent? Fight him back. Show him who’s boss, who’s bigger.

He grabs Aiden by the arm in a flash of anger and drags him up the stairs. The boy screams and flails, but that doesn’t deter Joel. He brings him to the room he assumes is his, the walls covered in sports posters and memorabilia.

“Take off your shirt,” he growls, a familiar fury pounding inside his chest.

When Aiden protests, Joel does it for him, ripping the kid’s shirt nearly in half. Rage floods through Joel’s veins and he can’t exactly place why, but the feeling is very real and bouldering through him at an alarming speed. He knows this feeling, feels strangely at home there.

He undoes his belt and brings the leather end down on Aiden’s back, not the buckle like his father used to do. Joel does have some decency buried deep in his chest. And then he loses himself to the unyielding anger.

“You get ten,” he snarls. “Don’t you lay a hand on your sister again. Is that understood? Now you answer to me.”

No response except for a scream.

“I said , do you understand?” Joel roars, bringing down the belt.

Rage consumes him like a drug. He barely registers what he’s doing. The belt goes down again and again. And somehow, through the screaming and the pain, and the intoxicating feeling of being completely in control for once, Joel’s line of vision wanders to the bedroom door. In all the excitement, it was left ajar and out in the hallway, sitting on her knees is Y/N. Joel immediately expects fear, despair, revulsion. When Tommy would watch him take a beating his face would betray the most acute sense of hopelessness and terror and the waterworks would begin. But Y/N just stares at him unflinchingly, at what he’s doing. She doesn’t cry, she simply sees. Too much for a child, and yet, she watches. She does not intervene, doesn’t even try to. And for the tiniest moment, her and Joel’s eyes connect, and he feels a sense of calm, of comprehension, of recognition in that uncannily knowing gaze. Her irises sparkle and Joel feels…something that he cannot entirely articulate. Seen? Accepted? Understood? Joel knows logically what he is doing is an ugly, vile thing — he has never claimed to be a good man. Practical maybe, but never good. And yet, Y/N sees it — sees him — and she doesn’t look away. She cocks her head slightly, and images of Tommy grimacing in revulsion and fear as Joel mercilessly beat up their childhood neighborhood bullies to the point of unconsciousness pop into his mind, of the haunting look in his brother’s eyes. Even Sarah could not stomach his violent heart when she witnessed him beat up some pervert with a camera that had looked at her funny at the mall. Even though it was for her — to keep her safe. She had stared at him in disgust and pity. She had not seen him then at all.

But now, looking at Y/N, for the briefest moment, Joel can swear he sees something resembling a smile flicker over her serious face. And though it goes as quickly as it comes, he feels the familiar sensation gnawing at the bottom of his stomach: primal and untameable, soft and vulnerable, but fierce and loud at the same time. He feels an inexorable, inescapable sense of care and devotion to this child. But most of all, because she sees him, truly sees him, and does not turn away in disgust, Joel Miller feels the gut-wrenching, unquenchable sensation of love deep in his chest. For the first time since Sarah died on that hospital bed, weak and unwell from the chemo he could not afford, he feels alive . 

***

Things fall into a tentative routine. Every morning, Joel wakes up in bed beside Erica. They fuck the night before more often than not, but always in that same slow way that doesn’t do much for Joel. It’s enough to get off, sure, she isn’t an unattractive woman, but he’s mostly there for the meal ticket and roof over his head. He goes to work at the auto-body repair shop, Erica goes to her job at her law firm. The kids ride the bus to school. He gets home in the evenings before Erica and spends time coexisting with the children. Usually, he kicks back on the sofa, rubbing his sore back, and watches television, minding his own business. Aiden mostly avoids him, doing god knows what in his room. He bullies his sister cruelly and Joel punishes him when he sees fit. Erica knows what he does to Aiden and either doesn’t care or approves. He never lays a hand on Y/N though. She warms up to him slowly, cautiously. Most evenings she sits on the far end of the couch and Joel on the other, but as she gets used to him and sees that he’s not a threat, at least to her, she scoots closer. 

The children’s father is no longer in their lives from what Joel can tell, which is perfectly fine with him. When Joel’s heart does not feel full of lead, he plays the guitar. Y/N sits and watches him. She is a quiet child, but unrelentingly brave. When Joel lets the TV blare, he rarely cares to pay much attention these days, she stays and watches with him, no matter what is on and never complains or asks to change the channel. Blockbuster zombie apocalypse movie? She watches. News special on America’s most dangerous serial killers? She watches. Documentary on venomous snakes? She watches. Should Joel be letting her watch this crap? Who the fuck knows? He isn’t her father. And plus, he won’t admit this to anyone, hardly even himself, but he likes having some company. It makes everything feel…less. And he likes that she doesn’t try to make him speak. Sometimes there are no words and he thinks Y/N understands this. Unlike Erica who yaps every second of the day. But Joel stays polite and plays along. He has to.

But he will not lie, Aiden gets on his very last nerve. There is something that Joel cannot quite place that makes him feel like he has known this boy his whole life even though they are as familiar as perfect strangers. All siblings fight and rough-house. That is normal. Hell, he and Tommy used to fight rough and tumble all the time. But the way Aiden bullies Y/N is something else entirely. And most times, it is unprovoked. And he is so much bigger than she is, growing bigger by the day. 

Joel’s beatings have not stopped Aiden’s anger and sadistic attitudes, but they do make sure that he takes some kind of physical consequence for his crimes. It makes Joel feel better and he thinks it makes Y/N feel better too. And some days he gets so fucking mad at Aiden that he thinks not even god could stop his wrath even if the boy turned into Mother Theresa herself! Okay, maybe that’s extreme, but another part of Joel thinks maybe it’s not. The truth is, though he is loathe to admit it, some days, he is not in control of his anger. Some days he punches so hard, his knuckles bleed and he has to stop for a second to come back to himself. Others he goes so roughly on Aiden that he causes the kid to become bloody and he feels ashamed of what he’s done. But there are other days, very dark days, where he wishes he could do it over and over again. He convinces himself he’s doing it for Y/N and not some other sinister ulterior motive he does not care to dwell on…

One night, a few months into Joel’s new living arrangements, he walks through the upstairs hallway to his and Erica’s bedroom, passing the closed door to the bathroom that the kids share. He has done this what feels like a thousand times before and doesn’t think anything of it until he stops and realizes he hears Y/N singing. 

♪“ Someday, my pain / Someday, my pain will mark / You…”♫ she sings softly.

He can barely hear it over the crash of the water from her shower, but her voice is beautiful. It pulls at Joel’s shrunken heart, deep inside his long-dead chest. Her voice has an eerie quality to it too, almost haunting. He’s not sure of what song it is, but he finds himself wanting to know. Eventually, she stops, and Joel goes to bed, but her voice echoes in his mind for hours as he lies awake in the dark.

The next day, Joel is sitting on the couch when the kids get home from school. Y/N joins him on the other side of the sofa as usual. They watch reruns of some unfunny family sitcom.

“Heard you singing last night,” he finally grunts unceremoniously.

Y/N goes very still.

“Sorry,” she mumbles, avoiding his gaze. “I’ll be quieter next time.”

Joel looks over at her. He realizes she looks terrified.

“Ain’t no problem with it,” he tries to explain, confused. “Thought you sounded nice is all.”

“You tryna trick me?” she stammers, tears collecting in her shimmering eyes.

“What? Trick you? What you crying for, honey? You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Joel is genuinely flabbergasted. 

Tears trickle down her cheeks. What has he done this time? he wonders. But he is concerned more than anything. Hell, he hasn’t seen her cry like this since the day they met. Not even last week when Aiden slammed her head into the metal oven in the kitchen (luckily it was off or Joel would have really killed him that time).  

She sniffles, looking conflicted, then collects herself as best she can manage.

“M-my dad didn’t like when I would sing. ‘Specially if he was in a depo…I forget the word…deponition? Deposition? When he was on the phone for work, I mean. If I was being too loud. Or too shrill. He didn’t like that one bit. He’d get mad…” she trails off. 

“The way Aiden gets mad?” Joel asks very slowly, not truly wanting to know the answer.

“Yeah,” she nods after a while. “Except he’s a lot bigger. And stronger. He…he broke my arm once. But it was on accident I think. He got me ice cream after.”

Anger, red and hot, pulses through Joel’s veins. What hadn’t this child endured at the hands of angry men? 

“What did your mother do?” he bites out, almost unnaturally calm from trying to control himself.

“Well, most of the time he’d kinda like hit her around, I guess? But the time he broke my arm was the time she made him leave for good and they got a divorce and all. Aiden says it’s my fault he won’t come around anymore. He was so mad. He loves Dad so much. I don’t understand it though because even though Dad likes him a lot more than me, Dad would still be so mean to him sometimes. Mom says I don’t even know all of it...Promise I won’t bother you with singing though, okay?”

“Sweetheart,” Joel says as softly as his blinding rage will permit. Somehow, when he’s with Y/N, he finds he can control himself better. “I’ll never get mad at you for singing. Or being too loud. Or anything. Never gonna put my hands on you. I’m sorry if what I do to Aiden scares you or made you think that I would ever do such a thing to you.”

“It doesn’t scare me,” she shakes her head. “When you get rough with Aiden, you do it because he did really bad, to protect me. It’s like with you there’s rules that make sense. Aiden chooses to be mean and violent so you choose it back to him. With my dad, it was different. It was like I could breathe wrong and I’d get in trouble. Get in trouble for things I couldn’t control or help. Sometimes I did bad, I know I did, but I also know there were other times where I wasn’t hurting anyone and he’d still hurt me so badly. My dad never got mad at Aiden for hurting me though. He thought it was funny, I think. Sometimes he’d kinda like sick him on me. Kinda how you could a dog.”

Joel doesn’t know how to respond, doesn’t know the right words. He figures he can only show her with his actions who he is and she will just have to learn to trust him. If her father ever enters the house though, he will wring his neck. That’s for certain. Thank God he doesn’t come around for his sake, Joel’s, and the family’s.

“I was just thinking,” Joel finally says. “If ya want, I could learn how to play that song you were singing on my guitar and maybe you could sing it for me sometime?”

“M-maybe we could sing it together?” Y/N asks tentatively, her eyes wide. “Singing in front of other people is kinda scary.”

“I haven’t sung in a while,” Joel sighs. “Might be rusty.” 

“That’s okay,” she grins hopefully. 

Joel wants to take a photo of that rare sight and keep it close for as long as he lives, torn in his pocket or snug in his wallet, he doesn’t care. 

“Joel?” she asks a little cautiously, breaking him from his thoughts. “Can I ask you something?”

“‘Course, kiddo,” he says as gently as he knows how.

“Who’s Sarah?”

His heart stops. His blood runs cold. 

“What? How did you–”

“You were talking. In your sleep yesterday,” she says, shrinking away a little and Joel feels sorry for scaring her again. “When we were watching Dexter . Well, you fell asleep right before. You were snoring and all, but you were also talking and mumbling that name. You sounded sad and scared.”

Joel should definitely not have allowed her to watch that! But that is hardly the point right now. 

His heart squeezes so tight it burns. What was there to say about Sarah – the entire reason his life had had any purpose? His perfect babygirl? The light of his life? 

He could lie. So easily too and Y/N would never know. He could say nothing at all. Hasn’t even told Erica about her yet. Hardly ever speaks to anyone about her these days.

And yet…

“She was my daughter,” he hears himself say softly. “She…got sick. Died of leukemia a while back. She was twelve.”

He reaches into his pocket and pulls out the wallet he was just thinking about. Inside is a tiny school photo of Sarah – the last one she ever took. It’s faded a little, but she’s still smiling so big she could block out the sun. He shows it to Y/N.

“I’m sorry, Joel,” she says and she really does look sorry. 

Not the way his co-workers and customers say it – almost as a reflex – to fill the void in the conversation. Her eyes are shimmering.  

“Nothin’ to do about it now,” he shrugs, running his thumb over the photo paper, softened with age. “But she was so damn special. My whole world.”

He has learned to repress the tears, not to show weakness, that is not hard. Not anymore. But the anger that broils up inside him – the injustice of it all – how he was unable to help her. Unable to save her. He feels almost like a child again, powerless in an unforgiving, unrelenting world. He wants to fight back!

He is so angry he begins to shake and his hands clench into fists. 

He wants to flip over the fucking coffee table – fling it across the room! He wants to punch in the glass of the flickering TV screen until his fist is broken! He wants to–He wants–

He just wants his babygirl back…

A sob, small and foreign rises in his throat, but he pushes it down. 

He thinks Y/N knows though. Can see the vulnerability in his eyes.

She reaches out a small hand and touches his fist, pushes it down gently into the soft fabric of the couch so he’ll stop shaking. It doesn’t entirely work, but he thinks he appreciates the effort.

“I don’t know if this is the right thing to say,” she begins a bit skittishly, still not entirely trusting the hulking, raging man above her. “But I think I would have liked to have been her friend.”

And for the first time since Sarah died, Joel sobs . 

Y/N pops up from the couch and Joel’s heart cries out louder in his chest for her to come back, don’t leave me too as he tries to suck the tears back in. It doesn’t work though and liquid gushes down his cheeks. He doesn’t think he can take the rejection, the loss of her. But thankfully, she returns just as quickly as she went with a handful of tissues stuffed into her small fist. 

“Here, Joel,” she offers. “Here. Don’t cry.”

Joel does cry though. He’s ashamed he’s broken down in front of this literal child, and he doesn’t let out much noise, but he doesn’t take the tissues either. He can’t. 

She’s so sweet though, or maybe it’s because she is truly afraid of him now, of his wrath, he’ll never really know, but she frowns and reaches out a little hand, the one with the scar on the middle finger, and tries to wipe up the tears.

The paper of the tissue tickles his cheeks.

“Shouldn’t havta…” he tries.

“Didn’t mean to make you…” she answers.

A pause.

“You didn’t, honey. That was all me,” he assures her finally.

She lets out a sigh of relief and soaks up the last of the salt water from his face, brushes the tissue gently against his nose. It tickles, causes him to snort. He smirks a little.

She smiles back shyly, she can’t help it, he can tell. 

“You know,” he says thoughtfully after a few moments of silence, sighing deeply. “I reckon she would’ve wanted to be your friend too…”

***

A few months roll by. Things are virtually the same except Y/N seems more comfortable around him now. Maybe it’s because she saw his weakness up close and personal, his Achilles heel —— knows how to coax it out of him now if she has to. Or maybe it’s because she truly trusts him. Whatever the case, she sits closer to him on the couch now, still giving him a respectful foot of distance though of course. 

Once in a blue moon, she sings for him and he tries to keep up with the lilting sound of her high voice. She says she likes his low, deep voice just fine, it’s just she still gets nervous singing in front of other people so it’s still a rare occasion. His favorite is when she sings solo and he gets to strum along for her and really listen. Sometimes her voice cracks in a very specific way that some might find to be a flaw, but Joel would never. 

Aiden makes fun of them and calls them the ‘Von Trapp Family Singers.’ Are they a family? Joel wonders.

One day after work, Joel goes to the library to find some sheet music for a song Y/N likes. She treasures the photo-copied paper like a gift as Joel deciphers the notes he can actually read for her. She color-codes each one carefully in magic marker so she can remember the differences between them. 

The next day, Aiden burns it up with a lighter he has acquired from God knows where. Joel confiscates it – the last thing he needs is this particular child setting fires – and It doesn’t end well for Aiden. He limps for damn near a week. But some days, when Aiden is calm, he joins Y/N and Joel in front of the TV if a sports game is on. He doesn’t sit on the couch though, just the floor. He doesn’t say much to them but does get invested in the good and bad plays of each game, gets sore if his team is losing. On one particularly good day, when the Rangers hit a grand slam, and Joel was actually paying attention, he and Aiden actually high-five.  

Things are going…well? Is that the right word? It is a foreign concept for Joel. For Christmas, he gets Y/N guitar, Aiden a book on boxing so maybe he will redirect his anger into somewhere productive, and Erica a spa-day kit for 20% off that he saw at CVS (he never claimed to know what women want). Aiden is neutral, surprised, he thinks, that Joel even got him a present. Erica is actually appreciative and returns the favor with some new socks and underwear. 

“A practical gift for a practical man,” she says, kissing him on the forehead. 

Joel supposes he appreciates the gesture. 

Y/N, though, is thrilled.

“Thank you, Joel! Got you something too,” she says excitedly, bouncing up and down in her red and white pajamas.

“That’s not necessary,” Joel chides, leaning over to pick up the wrapping paper that was strewn across the living room floor. 

But secretly he is curious. He didn’t think she even had any money of her own…

Aiden opens the cover of the boxing book with disinterest, eyeing the new guitar distastefully. 

Y/N jumps up, leaves the room, and returns with a small plastic baggie in her hands. Inside are little, different bits of colored plastic clumsily and haphazardly cut into tiny, sharp-looking, badge-shaped pieces. One he recognizes is from the top of a yogurt container he put into the recycling the other day, another one from the top of a Gatorade bottle. 

“Here ya go!” 

She shoves the plastic bag into his large hands enthusiastically.

“Thank you,” Joel responds, still unsure what he was given.

It reminds him of when Sarah was young and would come home with some sort of abstract macaroni painting from kindergarten and he would nod and smile knowingly when she explained that of course it was Two dinosaurs getting married, Dad. Duh!

“You could try one on my new guitar,” she offers, a little disappointed when he doesn’t have more of a reaction. “You said you lost most of yours…”

Joel immediately feels guilty and then it clicks. She tried to make him guitar picks! His heart clenches with emotion he can not quite identify. 

He pulls a little orange one out of the bag and accidentally nicks the edge of his finger. Because of the way it was cut, no doubt with uncoordinated child’s hands and a pair of scissors, the edges are much too sharp to serve as an actual guitar pick without damaging guitar strings or apparently Joel’s finger. Dumb kid. But he’s beyond honored anyone would take the time to do such a thoughtful thing for him. 

He hisses softly and sucks the blood off his finger.

“Oops,” she says, horrified. “Shoot. Sorry, I–”

“‘S no trouble,” he interjects dismissively. “Love ‘em. Was my fault anyway. I’mma be honest with you though, sweetheart; don’t think the guitar strings can handle these babies.”

“Oh,” she says softly, trying to keep the disappointment out of her voice. “Oh, yeah, okay...”

She deflates, looking down at the carpet.

Joel selfishly lets her be sad for a beat before swooping back in to be the one to save the day.

“But here’s what I’ll do…”

She looks back up at him with an intoxicating kind of hope in her eyes.

He takes his wallet out of his back pocket and slips the orange pick into the photo slot next to the picture of Sarah. He returns the wallet back into his pants. 

Y/N positively beams. Brighter than the sun, even, Joel thinks.

Aiden yawns purposefully loudly and rolls his eyes. Erica looks touched and maybe even a little proud of her choice in men. But Joel didn’t do it for them. The only reaction in the world he cares about is hers.

Y/N is still grinning, bouncing on the balls of her feet again. But then she does something new: she leans in and hugs him, wrapping her little arms around his waist, burying her face in his flannel shirt, pressing against his tummy.

The world stops for Joel. 

At first, he just hangs there limply, awkwardly. Literally forgets what one is supposed to do in such a situation, but then instinct kicks in and he wraps his arms around her too and squeezes ever so slightly. It’s a more cautious hug than Sarah would have given him – she would have squeezed him half to death – but Y/N is still holding him. Someone small and warm is holding onto him for the first time in what feels like an eternity. And just like that his past is rhyming with his present and it is the most beautiful sound Joel Miller has ever heard. 

Joel Miller is not a good man, no, but maybe, just maybe, he thinks he could be one for Y/N. 

***

Joel tries to be good. He does. His first order of business is stop beating on Aiden – especially in front of Y/N. No amount of violence towards the kid seems to do any good anyway – he still hurts her. And Joel is sick of bandaging her up and wiping the blood from her cheeks; something has to change. Not that he wouldn’t do it a thousand times if he had to. He’d do anything for the girl, that he is sure of. And the truth is, Aiden is close to getting big enough to really fight back. And Joel knows if Aiden really lays a hand on him, he’s not sure he will be able to control himself enough to not inflict permanent damage. And he doesn’t want that. Truly.

So at first, Joel thinks about having Erica send him away to a wilderness camp for troubled children or some such program he sees mentioned on reruns of Dr. Phil. She has the money to do it too. But she won’t send him away. She refuses, loves him too much. Protecting Y/N seems as far down on her list of priorities as ever. She is useless at disciplining him, always has been, so it is up to Joel to find another solution. So the next thing he tries is to set the boy up in boxing classes. This is risky since it might just teach him new ways to hurt Y/N, but at least it will be a place to direct his anger.

It works for a while, to his and Y/N’s immense relief, but that leaves Joel nowhere to take out his anger. He tries to ignore it at first and shove it down, but it starts to come out in little ways. At work, he barks at a customer who locks his keys in the car he’s trying to fix. At home, he shouts at Erica for missing Y/N’s school play. The rage leaks out of him, pours off his entire being. He tries jerking off more to increasingly violent porno magazines to calm himself down since Erica is sure not satisfying him. It doesn’t do enough though, not really. Finally, he tries boxing at the local gym himself, but it is not enough either. Boxing has rules. The first sorry sucker he gets in the ring with, he beats to the point of unconsciousness. Two men have to pull him off to get him to stop. They kick him out immediately.

So Joel tries going to the bar after work with the guys from the shop and drinking a little to take the edge off. That actually helps somewhat. He’s careful about it, never comes home drunk, never drinks in front of Erica or the kids. But what helps the most are the bar fights. He’s careful about that too. Only fights the assholes, which there are many of. Switches up the bars he goes to. But some motherfucker slaps a girl's ass without permission? Joel’s on him in seconds, watching like a predator from the shadows. Some dude throws a drink in the bartender’s face? Joel clobbers him half to death. And sometimes? People in the bar applaud him, even cheer him on. It’s probably because they’re intoxicated, but that’s how he justifies it to himself like he’s some kind of goddamn vigilante. Deep down he knows he is something much, much uglier. But at least he’s not doing it to Aiden, a child. And more importantly, at least it is away from Y/N.

***

One day, Y/N falls sick. It starts out as what seems like a cold with a nasty cough. Kids are little germ factories, Joel knows that. He tells himself it is nothing to worry about – that all kids get sick sometimes. The first few days she lies on the couch like a zombie, coughing incessantly into her elbow and sleeping a lot. She snores ever so slightly which he finds charming. Joel stays home from work with her because Erica has to be in court and they watch lots of nature documentaries and daytime talk shows. 

Then the coughing gets worse and Joel’s brain stops functioning properly and he has trouble explaining why. He feels more on edge, more agitated. Erica takes Y/N to the doctor and comes back with a diagnosis: walking pneumonia. Nothing too serious, lots of kids get it. She is prescribed antibiotics and is supposed to drink lots of fluids and wait it out. But when Erica tells Joel the news of what the doctor told her he is holding a glass of water and it shatters in his large hand, cutting the skin of his middle finger.

“Fuck!” he yells. 

And he cannot articulate precisely why, but he feels good that there is a justified reason to yell. 

Erica wipes his hand and cleans the glass up.

“Gotta go to court again today, honey,” she says like everything is fine and normal. “Can you look after her today? Call in sick? She’s in bed. Going through it.”

Joel nods and she is gone like this whole thing is nothing. Like her precious, living breathing child is not suffering in the room above his head.

He climbs the stairs and enters Y/N’s room. He doesn’t often spend much time there. The walls are painted pink and differently shaped dolls and stuffed animals line the white vanity across from her canopied bed. He does not think he has ever seen Y/N play with any of those specific toys, come to think of it, or express any interest in the color pink (no doubt Erica’s secret passion for interior design rearing its ugly head). He vows silently, one day, to paint the walls any color she wants. 

But there she is, sprawled out in her bed coughing a nasty cough. Something shifts inside Joel at the sound. She looks unwell and weak and so small. 

“Hey, honey,” he says softly, almost robotically. 

Something is not right. He sits on the edge of her bed, feels her burning forehead. He takes her temperature gently with the thermometer that goes in her ear. He feels that weird sensation like he’s been here before even though he has hardly ever entered her bedroom. One hundred and four degrees Fahrenheit it reads when it beeps. Joel swallows a lump in his throat that he didn’t realize was there.  

She coughs pathetically. She looks out of it, her eyes far away. Joel’s heart throbs painfully.

Y/N is mumbling something incoherent now. Joel leans a little closer so he can decipher the words.

He makes out something like: No, Dad. Don’t. Stop, please. Please, not tonight. 

Joel stops breathing. 

She must be delirious from the fever. 

And then she’s crying. Quietly, but crying all the less. And this time, unlike every time he has seen her tears before, she sobs. Actually makes noise, her chest wracked with it. 

Then she coughs so hard she starts to wheeze and it hits Joel so ferociously he practically loses his grip on reality.

When Sarah was sick she had leukemia, a blood cancer. And cancer requires treatment. Expensive treatment. But of course, Joel hadn’t cared. He would have sold every item he owned to save his child, would have traveled to the ends of the earth if he had to, done literally any and everything in his power to protect her. So he paid for most of her chemotherapy with high hopes. Desperate hopes, but high ones. It had been her best shot at getting better according to the doctors. And the thing about chemo is, the side effects can literally be deadly. Joel is not a man of science, but the doctor explained that those drugs kill the bad cells that make up the cancer, but also the good ones. It fucks with your immune system, weakens you. Makes you lose your hair, vomit, and or be so weak you can barely walk. All that happened to Sarah. Joel felt like a traitor taking her to those treatments. Logically, he knew they were necessary, but he always felt like he was the one doing those awful things to her. It eviscerated him, left him raw and empty, and helpless like a child.

But in the end, it was the pneumonia that killed her. Her body couldn’t fight it off. She’d died in a hospital bed, Joel at her side, holding her hand, unable to do a single damned thing except scream .

Y/N coughs again, simultaneously pulling him from his thoughts and throwing him back into them. His heart is pounding in his chest to Do something! But there is nothing to be done, nothing he can do! Why can’t he ever seem to protect her?

She looks up just then, notices him for the first time since he entered the room, still crying feebly.

“He hurt me,” she whispers up at him, her eyes glazed over and glistening with tears. She reaches out for a handful of his dark blue work shirt and pulls it tightly to her. “He hurt me. And I couldn’t–I c-couldn’t…”

And then he is holding her, not quite sure how, but he is holding her trembling body to his chest and he will not let her go. Not for the world, not for anyone. He will not lose this child. He wraps his arms around her, holds tight. He will keep her safe, no matter the cost. 

“It’s okay, babygirl,” he whispers. “I got you.”

***

Joel and Erica get married that spring. They agree on a private ceremony in front of a judge with only Y/N and Aiden in attendance. When Aiden hears the news, he throws a fit, He breaks dishes and punches a hole in the TV set which sets Joel’s teeth on edge. But Y/N is overjoyed. In the end, he and Joel adorn what Joel considers monkey suits and Erica wears a beautiful white dress that accentuates her figure. Y/N wears a frilly pink dress and carries a basket of pink roses. Joel never thought he’d be a married man and yet here he is. He imagines Sarah in attendance too and his heart aches. This is his life now. 

He refuses to wear a ring.

***

Time passes. Long stretches of time where things feel–dare he think it–normal.

 Aiden doesn’t beat Y/N, but begins to get into fights at school. Joel saves his violence for the bar scene which he begins frequenting more often. 

Erica starts working later, gets promoted in her job. Fucks Joel less and less, not that he cares very much. 

Joel goes to back-to-school nights and family cookouts. He teaches Y/N to play the guitar and how to fix car motors. In both these activities, she is no natural, but she tries her best and listens well. She smiles more than he’s ever seen. He drives her to sleepovers and Aiden to boxing practice. He paints her bedroom walls orange.

Things feel stable.

Two Christmases pass.

And then things take a downturn.

***

One evening, Joel returns home from work later than usual. When he arrives home in his truck, he notices an expensive sports car in the driveway. Erica has affluent friends, sure, but he’s never seen this particular car before. Something about that doesn’t sit right with him.

He opens the front door with a creak and Erica intercepts him before he can make it to the dining room table for dinner. She presses a hand to his forearm bulking with muscle.

“Don’t freak out,” she whispers urgently. 

Joel stops and hears the sounds of people eating dinner and a man’s raspy voice speaking.

“Freak out about what?”

He makes his way past her to the dining room. He sees a man he does not immediately recognize sitting at the head of the table, Y/N is flanking one side of the table next to him and Aiden the other. He is conventionally handsome and wearing an expensive pinstripe suit. When he looks up, he smirks at Joel. Joel thinks he looks kind of like Aiden if you were to squint. And then he understands who he is.

“The fuck are you doing in my house?” he growls, lunging forward.

“ Your house?” the man smirks again, unflinching. 

He looks Joel over, examining his mechanic’s uniform, the grease stain on Joel’s cheek. 

Erica grabs Joel. She pulls him back out into the hallway.

“Tell him he’s not welcome here,” Joel snarls, trying to get a look at the man over Erica’s shoulder. 

She pushes him backward gently. Instantly, he is worried for Y/N, for all intents and purposes alone in there with the man who abused her and this entire goddamn family for that matter. He catches a glance at her and she looks terrified . Aiden, conversely, Joel sees, looks like he just won the lottery, staring up at his dad in adoration. Joel doesn’t think he has ever seen him look so happy.

“This is important to them,” Erica snaps quietly. “That’s their father. He has a right–”

“Get him out of here or I’ll kill him,” Joel says deadly quietly. “He what? Doesn’t show up for over three years and you think that–”

“I know that he has a right to speak to them. I am their mother and they need a sense of closure. Aiden needs this. So you will sit down at that table and have an amicable dinner or so help me God, Joel.”

Erica never speaks to him like this. He is shocked.

“Fine,” he snarls after a while, his chest heaving. 

He can hardly think straight while Y/N is in there alone with that excuse for a man. Better he be close to protect her instead of thrown out of the house.

He walks back in with Erica, who sits next to Y/N, leaving Joel nowhere to go but next to Aiden.

“I’m Derek,” the children’s father says, leaning over the food Erica has prepared to shake Joel’s hand. 

Joel doesn’t take it.

“And you must be Joe? The new husband.”

“Joel,” he replies shortly.

He looks over at Y/N who is trying to be brave, he can tell, but deep in her eyes, looks petrified.

They eat dinner in tense silence until Derek breaks it and begins bragging about his golf club record, the latest client he’s been representing, his new girlfriend, Sylvia.

“See, she’s helping me become a better man,” Derek insists with a forkful of steak. “I know I haven’t always been…the greatest of fathers or partners, but she really convinced me coming here would be a good thing. That it would be healing. You guys will meet someday, I’m sure.”

Joel leans forward toward Derek, reeling at the idea that this man could possibly be back in the picture of his family’s life, but Erica reaches under the table and squeezes his knee in a death grip and Joel holds himself back.

Aiden hangs on his father’s every word. Erica looks somewhat intrigued after she lets go of her husband’s leg. Y/N screams silently at Joel, who tries his best to communicate without words that he will keep her safe.

“And I know I’ve missed quite a bit,” Derek continues. “Which is why I brought these. Sylvia’s idea, really.”

He reaches down toward his feet and pulls out a fancy golden gift bag and takes out two presents. He hands one to Aiden and the other one to Y/N. Aiden rips his open excitedly. Inside is a hunting knife with a red handle. 

Great, Joel thinks.

Y/N doesn’t move though, stopped like a deer in the headlights.

“Open it, girl,” Derek sneers.

She looks over at Joel. 

“Go on, baby,” he says softly, heat pumping through his blood.

She unwraps the pink wrapping paper and finds a Barbie doll in a clear plastic box. Joel has never seen her play with dolls at all come to think of it. 

“Isn’t that thoughtful?” Erica smiles cautiously.

“Thanks, Dad,” Aiden says enthusiastically. “Can’t wait to show the guys at ROTC.”

“Good for you, son,” Derek grins. “Serving our country is the highest of honors.”

Joel suddenly tries not to think about Tommy blasted to bits halfway across the world in Afghanistan, his body in such bad condition all that he got left of his baby brother was a finger and two bent dog tags.  

Aiden beams.

“Well,” Derek barks, eyeing Y/N distastefully. “Aren’t you going to say anything?” he taunts. 

Joel sees where Aiden gets it from. This arrogant, bullying behavior. He shifts in his seat, ready to strike if necessary.

“Thanks,” she says very quietly. 

Derek grins in a kind of satisfaction that makes Joel want to go over there and punch his daylights out. He almost does too until Erica kicks his shin beneath the table and he controls himself. 

Y/N frowns. She looks over at Joel, then back at her father. Something ripples across her face, but it goes so quickly Joel cannot assign any meaning to it. But she looks ever so less scared somehow, more angry almost, but not quite.

And then after about ten minutes of somewhat peaceful eating and Derek making Aiden and Erica laugh with stupid anecdotes from his court cases while Joel and Y/N exchange looks, it happens.

Y/N’s hand reaches forward and knocks against her glass of coke. It goes flying over in Derek’s direction and drenches him in the sticky liquid, staining his suit.

“Sorry, Dad!” she squeaks immediately. “Oh my god, I–”

“You little slut!” he roars in response, almost like a reflex, backhanding Y/N across the face with lightning speed and accuracy. “Do you know how much this fucking suit cost!?”

The force of the blow is so strong it knocks Y/N from her chair onto the ground.

Before a coherent thought can even go through Joel’s head he is on the other man, slamming him up against the wall behind him by the throat.

“Joel, don’t you dare!” Erica yells, but it is too late.

Joel sees red and can’t exactly recall what he does next, but it goes something like this:

He squeezes around Derek’s throat and bangs his head backward against the wall a few times. The other man tries to get a punch in, but Joel ducks and kicks him in the balls. Derek crumples to the ground and Joel gives his chest another hard kick. He whines pathetically. 

Aiden gets up then, but Erica uses all of her strength to pull him back before he can get involved in the mix. He resists, shouts something that Joel cannot make out, but Erica manages to keep him from the two men with a great amount of effort and struggle. 

Derek is on the floor now and Joel is straddling him, landing punch after ruthless punch down onto his head. His nose begins to bleed, but Joel keeps punching. 

“HOW DARE YOU?” he roars down at the trembling, gushing man on the floor.

There is so much blood splurting all over his face, dripping down onto his expensive stained suit, and the floor that Derek almost stops looking like Derek. Joel sees Aiden’s face in his features. And then there is so much blood that it could be anyone’s face screaming back at him for mercy. It could be those creepy, asshole men at the bar. It could be the much bigger kid who always used to beat up Tommy every day in the schoolyard. It could be that damned head doctor who let his babygirl die. It could even be his no-good, bastard, alcoholic papá . 

He turns his head ever so slightly while still delivering punches. Erica has Aiden in a bear hug. She is screaming for Joel to stop. Aiden is bellowing something that sounds like, You bastard, I’ll kill you! Get off of him! I’ll kill you! And then Joel sees Y/N still on the floor from where she was knocked. Her face is still turned in the same direction it was slapped into, but she is not crying or screaming. Her eyes are dancing.

They connect with Joel’s. 

He knows he is supposed to be a good man for her, but she doesn’t seem to mind his deviant behavior. He stops then, though, because otherwise he thinks he will kill the man and he doesn’t want Y/N to experience that. He steals a glance at her again and she looks ever so slightly disappointed, but her wide-eyed expression tells Joel that Christmas has come early this year. She sends him a look of gratitude and Joel thinks that maybe he did act like a good man for her after all in the case of this vile, pathetic person who is supposed to be her father. 

 Finally, Joel stands up. He walks over and reaches out a bloody hand to Y/N and pulls her gently from the ground. Even after she’s standing upright she doesn’t let go of him.

Derek gets up after a while, wiping his sleeve over his face to try to tame the excess blood. Joel thinks that maybe he broke the man’s nose. He feels not a shred of remorse. The other man spits on the ground at Joel’s feet and leaves without saying goodbye to his ex-wife or children, slamming the front door behind him.  

Erica is not pleased with Joel’s behavior. Aiden is shouting and screaming. He breaks a plate by throwing it onto the floor with a loud crash. Joel leans over and grabs the knife his father gave him and sticks it in his front pocket so Aiden doesn’t feel tempted to use it. Y/N’s small hand is still in his. 

When Aiden is coherent enough to listen to instructions and all screamed out, Erica sends the children upstairs to bed. 

Joel tries to walk Y/N up to bed to tuck her in, but Erica stops him.

“ Not you,” she growls at Joel. 

She is livid in a way Joel has never seen before. For a moment, he seriously wonders if this is the end of their relationship. 

The kids scamper upstairs and Erica yells at Joel for ages. 

At a certain point, he stops listening. He doesn’t try to argue back. Doesn’t care to. He is actually calm now, though his chest is still heaving from the exertion, more calm than he’s been in ages. He knows that she will never understand why he had to do what he did to Derek. She lives in another reality where his violence is not acceptable if she has to bear witness to it. She doesn’t care about Y/N the way she is supposed to. Never has. Doesn’t know or see her. Not the way Joel does. Has too big a soft spot for Aiden. Tolerated Joel’s violence toward him though like a coward. Maybe deep down she knew he needed some kind of discipline? But when Joel lays a hand on her scumbag of an ex-husband that’s what’s too far? When he hurt her own daughter? When Joel himself was responsible for hurting her own precious son? Where was her outrage then? 

But he voices none of this. Pushes it down. He cannot lose her. Not this house, not the kids, not the financial security. Never Y/N. 

Erica banishes him to the couch for the first time in their relationship. Joel doesn’t mind. 

Hours later, late into the night, he hears soft footsteps walking down the stairs. He rolls over on the sofa to see who is approaching. He wonders if it is Erica there to apologize because he knows her well enough to know by now that she will forgive him eventually. She will forgive anything it seems. But it is not Erica at all.

“Joel?” a little voice asks quietly. “You up?”

“Yeah, baby,” he replies. “You okay? I’m so sorry he pulled that shit on you.”

Y/N shrugs. 

“Sorry I…I didn’t stop it before it happened,” he admits like a secret. 

She shrugs again.

“‘M sorry she made you sleep on the couch and all,” she replies.

“‘S no trouble. I don’t mind.”

“But it’s my fault you got in trouble in the first place.”

“Y/N, you ain’t done nothing wrong,” Joel tells her seriously. 

It’s hard to see her in the dark, but he thinks she’s grimacing guiltily. 

“I just wanted to say…” she begins hesitantly. “Thanks for like sticking up for me and all that. You…you’re the only one who does.”

Joel hides a smile from his babygirl. Something inside him likes being that person for her, he cannot lie to himself. Likes being the one she can count on. 

“You were like some MMA fighter,” she continues. “But then all the blood was like in The Shining .”

One day, not long ago, Joel had fallen asleep on the couch when The Shining came on and Y/N had watched the entire thing out of her own free will. That movie had frightened the shit out of him as a kid!

“I’m sorry if I scared you, sweetheart.”  

“You didn’t,” Y/N replies matter-of-factly.  “I wasn’t scared of what you did for a second…I know that’s messed up, but I kinda wanted you to…” 

She trails off.

Joel understands. 

“I kinda, please don’t get mad, but I sorta knocked the cup over on purpose,” she admits.

Joel’s eyebrows go way up on his forehead in surprise.

“It’s just,” she babbles quickly in self-defense. “Mom and Aiden were like giggling and hanging onto every dumb thing he said and it scared me. I thought they might let him keep coming around and start liking him again. And I also knew he hadn’t changed too. I could tell on account of how he was looking at me in that same mean way he always did. And I also knew you’d save me like you always do and you had this angry look in your eyes. I knew what you would do. I could feel it in my gut…”

“You little shit!” Joel smirks. 

He has to give her credit where credit was due – that was incredibly shrewd. Dangerous, but oh so clever. She played everyone in that room like a fiddle. Joel is honestly kind of proud.

“You mad?” she asks tentatively, biting her bottom lip.

“Nah,” Joel grins. “At you? Never. You shouldn’t have had to let him hurt you to get him away from you, but you protected yourself and that’s the most important thing. If I had to do it over, I would.”

Y/N smiles. 

She’s a fucked up little girl, but Joel is a fucked up man, and they both live in a fucked up world.

“Got your back,” he grunts. “Remember that. Now scurry along back to bed and get some rest.”

“G’night, Joel.”

*** 

Time passes. 

Erica forgives Joel of course and Derek never comes around again. 

Y/N and Aiden grow bigger. 

They go on camping trips and Joel teaches Y/N and Aiden how to fish. Never thought he would see the day where Aiden was willingly listening to his instructions, but the day comes anyway. Of course, the boy’s favorite part is cutting up the bloody fish guts like Joel’s used to be as a child. Y/N likes the part where you wait for the fish to bite. She sits next to Joel on the grassy river bank, the sun shining down on the lazy lake they are camping by, and smiles softly to herself.

Another two Christmases pass.

All the while, Joel is visiting the bar more and not necessarily to drink. His violent streak is getting worse somehow. He thinks, though he’s no goddamn shrink, that it might have something to do with the fact that he and Erica are not having any sex. Their relationship is still amicable and she is still sweet to him, and he tries his best to be to her too, but in the bedroom is mostly crickets. Joel jerks off, of course he does, but his fist is no substitute for a warm body. 

Joel causes such a scene at the bar he frequents the most, that the cops have to be called. He ditches the place before he can get arrested, but he’s getting worried about his behavior. Something must change.

So then come the women. They practically throw themselves at him. Never has he thought he was that attractive until women literally offer themselves up to him on a silver platter after saving them from some drunken creep. Joel had always declined until now. But Joel is only a man. He fucks them rough and dirty (with their permission of course – Joel is not a good man, and a lot of things, but he isn’t a fucking rapist) in the bathroom stalls, in the alleyways. In the moment it feels good and helps him let off some steam, but after he feels guilty. And it doesn’t satisfy him much more than with Erica if he really thinks about it. One thing that Erica has over these women who let him act out his violent self is the look of devotion in her eyes. That’s always the thing that gets Joel to cum in the end when he does get to fuck her.

 He would leave her, she isn’t that special to him if he’s honest, but she offers him a twofold sense of stability he has never known in his life. The first fold is the financial stability that has evaded him all of his days. The second is the feeling of family . Something so mundane and normal. And despite her flaws, she treats him so well – better than Sarah’s mother ever did. And most importantly, he doesn’t think he could leave Y/N. Not now. Not when she looks at him like he is the universe. Not even Aiden whom Joel has (begrudgingly) begun to see the traces of himself in. 

***

This particular muggy, summer day begins normally. Joel goes to work, fixes a Chevy Impala’s fluid tank. And then he walks in with an old, beat-up Honda Accord. 

His name is David, and Joel has heard of him through murmurings and bar stories and whispers at community barbeques. He’s a notorious neighborhood legend, whose house kids cross the street to avoid. He is the boogeyman at the end of the cul-de-sac. 

The story is, though through the many versions Joel has heard some of the details get muddled, that he kidnapped and raped a twelve-year-old girl (that part all versions agree on). Some say he was supposed to have ten years in prison, others say twenty, but whatever the number he got out in one for “good behavior.” In jail, he supposedly devoted his life to God and became a preacher.

Joel doesn’t want to help him, but his boss hisses at him that money is money and he’s going to serve the man whether Joel likes it or not. 

There’s something wrong with the exhaust pipe, so Joel bends down and takes a look at it. He opens the trunk and sees a box of Bibles next to a plastic bag of zip ties. His blood runs cold.

“The fuck is this shit doing in your car?” he growls, referring to the zip ties.

“The Bible is the word of God, Mr. Miller,” David replies, eyeing Joel’s nametag. “Would you like one? I’m always trying to spread The Good Word.” 

“You know that’s not what I’m talking about,” he spits, looking over to make sure his boss is not watching. 

“If you must know, though it’s none of your business, those zip ties are for my garden to help hold up my plants. They are remarkably useful,” David smiles sickeningly politely. 

And that’s when Joel loses it just a little.

He picks up the ties and pockets them.

“Listen here, you pedophile piece of shit,” he snarls. “If I hear about you stepping one goddamned pinky-toe out of line–”

“Hey, Joel!” A little voice calls.

The breath is knocked from Joel’s lungs.

Y/N bounds up to them holding a brown paper bag out of nowhere. 

“You forgot your lunch! Mom dropped me off so you could have it. It’s tuna though. I hate hate tuna. But you’ll eat anything so I hope it’s good for you at least,” she babbles.

“Baby,” Joel says very quietly, his heart thrumming in his ribcage. “Right now’s not a great time. Why don’t you go on home and I’ll catch up with you later?”

Then she notices David. By the fact that she doesn’t immediately leave, Joel determines she has no clue who he is.

“Hello, young lady,” David smiles, eyeing Joel knowingly. “I’m Pastor David.”

“Uh, hi,” she says.

Joel thinks he might actually kill him.

“Would you like something to take home with you?” he asks.

Y/N blinks in confusion as Joel steps in front of her.

“She’ll be going now, won’t you Y/N?” Joel suggests dangerously.

“Here,” David says before she can respond.

He hands her a black-covered bible.

Y/N takes it, looks at the cover, and laughs. Joel and David both look down at her in surprise.

“No offense, ‘Pastor David,”’ she smirks. “But I don’t believe in that shit. Here, you can have it back,” she offers.

He takes back the book somewhat defeatedly. And Joel grins internally.

“Bye, Joel,” she tells him, still smirking. 

She side-hugs him quickly and returns to Erica’s car. 

“How dare you even look at her–” Joel booms at the sad, pathetic excuse for a man once she is out of earshot. 

His hands are clenched into fists and they are shaking. Every part of him is on fire. 

“I think I’ll be going now,” David interjects lightly. “I can see my business isn’t welcome here. You have a beautiful daughter, Mr. Miller. Quite a mouth on her. Shame if something were to happen to her…Oh, the things someone like me could make her believe…”

Joel reaches back his fist to punch, to pummel, to kill, but suddenly, another hand grabs his and holds it in place. Joel’s boss has materialized behind him and is holding him back. Good thing too. It’s probably the only thing that saves Joel’s career and David’s life. 

David winks and drives away as the boss begins to reprimand Joel who is still shaking and fuming.

All he knows is this: If anyone touches his babygirl he will not hesitate to put them six feet under, no matter the cost to himself. He will not hesitate to get blood on his calloused hands. He will not hesitate to kill. And this time? His baby will not sustain a single scratch . He will not wait for her to get hurt before he acts. 

***

Joel wants nothing more than to go home and spend time with his babygirl and wife and even his step-son if he will allow, but there is blood popping and oozing and broiling and churning under his skin like billowing, bubbling lava. If he doesn’t do something about it soon he will explode worse than a volcanic eruption so he heads to the seediest bar he can think of. He makes his way inside and sits right up at the bar, already occupied by a few people. He orders a drink (his usual: whiskey on the rocks) and waits for the impending opportunity for violence he is sure is lying in wait.

He cannot believe the shit that came out of ‘Pastor-fucking-David’s’ sick, perverted mouth and that he almost lost his job over it. He lets that thought charge him up into a rage, his fists clenched so tightly they are beginning to ache in the joints. He cannot believe that disgusting little fucker had the audacity to say that horrible scummy bullshit in his presence when he would do anything to protect that innocent child. He takes a drink of his whiskey and knocks it back in one gulp. He would do anything , ‘Lord’ only knows. He snickers to himself sinisterly. 

And while he’s on the topic, fuck God! When had He ever done a single damn good thing for Joel his entire miserable life except maybe to give him Sarah and then take her away like she was nothing and not the entire light of the universe wrapped into a small, vulnerable person? Joel doesn’t know much about the bible, truth be told, but he remembers a few things from his Sunday school days. He remembers that people are created in the image of God and the stories he remembers most are from the Old Testament which heavily featured a God of absolute rage. Maybe that is the way he is god-like, built of anger and revenge and wrath and the sick, pathetic hunger for power that lurks inside most people. 

But he also remembers Jesus being meek and mild. Joel never understood that desire until he had Sarah and then Y/N in his care. If Joel could snap his fingers and make himself some fundamentally kind and caring man he would, but he can’t. Joel Miller is not a good man. He tried to be for Y/N, he truly did, but look at everything he’s done in the time he’s known her: he used Erica to get financial stability and roof over his head, he’s cheated on her numerous times, he beat Aiden, a child, and everyday the weight of that guilt grows greater as he begins to truly understand how wrong that was, and he beat his babygirl’s pathetic excuse for a father (but still her father) in front of her. He also beat people in bar fights and that time at the gym. And the thing is: is he even a little bit sorry about any of it – except for maybe what he did to Aiden? No, not even a little. And he’d do all of it again if it could mean getting to spend time with his babygirl, Y/N, again. His babygirl who FUCKING DAVID tried to threaten!

And the problem is: who knows what that fucker is capable of? The police and the judicial system let him out after one year which can only be described as a colossal moral failure and a massive miscarriage of justice. It wouldn’t take much for David to really figure out where they lived and grab Y/N and throw her in his trunk like he did that poor other little girl. Maybe that’s paranoid, but Joel knows better than most that when a man wants to do a dark thing he will find a way to do it. Joel does not want to live his life constantly looking over his shoulder as some horrendous pedophile lives freely. 

And then he turns his head to look down at the rest of the fairly busy bar and he sees him . None other than David himself, drinking a beer. Joel cannot believe his luck. It is like all of the light in heaven has aligned to give him such a gift. A part of him is screaming to not engage because Joel is sure he could kill him for what he said about Y/N. But the rest of him is already standing up and grabbing David by the shoulder and–

“If you know what’s good for you, you’ll get the fuck out of here now ,” he snarls. “Almost lost my job because of you, you sick fuck. You’re lucky I give you a warning and don’t wring your neck on the fucking spot.”  

David turns around, Joel’s fingers digging into his shoulder.

“Proverbs 24:1 and 2,” he quotes calmly. “‘Do not envy wicked men or desire their company; for their hearts devise violence, and their lips declare trouble.’”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“It means perhaps I will be leaving. I don’t care to spend my time with wicked men such as yourself. And I have many preparations to make for what is to come. How is your daughter doing since we last met?”

Joel’s heart runs cold. 

“Get my baby’s name out of your goddamned mouth .” 

“Hope we run into each other soon,” David grins as he gets off the barstool and dislodges himself from Joel’s grip. “There is a lot I could teach her.”

He turns to leave. Disgusting coward, Joel thinks. He could let the man go. But then what? Live in fear of him? Let his precious Y/N live in fear of him? Joel is tired of living in fear, of resigning to a cruel man in a cruel world, and he will never do that or let Y/N do that ever again. 

And then David leans in so close that Joel can smell the alcohol on his breath and the sweat on his skin.

“Can’t stop thinking about her pretty little hands around my–”

Joel doesn’t let him finish. In that moment he knows what will transpire. He picked this seedy-ass bar for a reason: so that no one will bother to stop him.

He lands the first punch with ease, doesn’t even feel the pain till minutes later. The force of the blow to David’s head is so strong he slams down into the ground. It is so violent that David’s eyelid starts to bleed and the skin around the impact spot becomes puffy and dark. 

David shouts for help, but no one in this place gives a fuck and even if they did everybody knows who he is and what he did so they don’t give a shit two times over. 

Joel continues the assault. Punch after punch reigns down on the other man as blood begins to coat his features. David tries to get a punch or two into Joel’s stomach, but Joel straddles each of his biceps and holds him down so he can continue hitting. The longer Joel hits, the better he feels. This time is different. This time he does not see the features of every man he’s ever hated in the face of his victim. This time he sees only David’s disgusting smirk in his mind’s eye. This time he only thinks about how he is saving Y/N from a lifetime of fear and cruelty. This time Joel will not let his adversary get a strike in first. This time he will be the one to stop the fate of impending devastation that lies in the palms of David’s shaking and broken hands. This time he can save her . 

When Joel is done with his hands, he is panting heavily. He moves on to his feet, kicking the man’s gut sadistically, his trembling hands, his face. Crunch , goes David’s skull. And then he is not moving or breathing.

Joel stops.

A lick of fear trails against the inside of his stomach, but the rage, always the rage warms his stomach like a rush of flames.

So he keeps going. He bends back down and squeezes the man’s throat just to make sure. It’s good he did too because David’s bloodshot, viens-having-burst eyes snap open and David makes a pathetic little squealing noise and Joel squeezes harder, rougher, with more conviction.

In the end, it takes longer than he thought it would. 

Joel only stops when he hears sirens blaring in the distance. He looks up for the first time since the assault started and sees all of the patrons staring at him in revulsion and fear. The bartender actually has the phone in her hand. Joel guesses she was the one to finally call the cops. He guesses he was so sadistic and violent that even this shitty place had seen enough. He thinks to run, briefly, but where would he run to? Everything he has ever wanted in life is now going to be closed off to him. But he saved Y/N and that makes everything worth it. It has to have been worth it.

Joel puts two scarred, calloused fingers to David’s pulse point, as blood (his and David’s) drips down from his knuckle onto the wooden floor and feels nothing.

When the cops handcuff him and take him away, he doesn’t resist. He comes quietly. He cannot ever really be a good man for Y/N, he understands that now, but at least now she and he may know some peace of mind after what he’s done.

***

The time leading up to the trial is a blur. 

Erica pays for an excellent lawyer, but divorces him on the spot. It seems there are some things even she will not forgive, and apparently murder is one of them. She allows the children to see him one last time in cold, sterile police interrogation room. A court-appointed child advocate social worker must be present. They allow him to have his handcuffs taken off for the first time since he was arrested. The kids are told he accidentally killed someone in a bar fight and for legal reasons he leans into the “accidental” part. 

Aiden comes in first. He knew who David was and tells Joel he did the right thing. Joel is surprised. He reaches out a limp hand, dirt caked under his fingernails, and shakes Joel’s for the first time since they’ve known each other and they part ways on good terms.

“You’re not my dad,” Aiden tells him quietly. “But you always put up a good fight to be there.”

And he leaves.

Joel is more touched than he wants to believe.

Y/N’s visit is much more difficult.

“How could you!?” she screams, standing by the door the second she sees him as he sits at the interrogation table, his chair turned toward her. 

At first Joel thinks she means how could he killl another human being. Y/N didn’t seem to know who David was after all. But that’s not what she is mad about.

“How could you leave me!?” she shouts, tears in her eyes. “You’re going to be taken away from me! Mom is leaving you because of this and that means you aren’t like my dad anymore. You’re going to forget all about me and never get to see me again because you killed some dumb man who tried to give me a bible?”

“He was not a good man,” is all Joel can say. 

He can’t be the one to tell her more, hasn’t told anyone how David had threatened her. Not even his lawyer. He doesn’t want to scare her, doesn’t want to admit to anyone he let those words even get to leave that shit stain’s mouth. 

“I don’t care!” she shouts again. “I want you!”

And then she bursts into tears and runs into his chest and Joel holds her against his orange jumpsuit and starts to feel tears trickling down his own cheeks.

“Never gonna forget about you,” he nearly scolds her into hair. “How could you ever think that, baby? You’re my babygirl. I’ll get out one day and come right back to you, understand?”

“But Mom–”

“You’ll be grown by the time I get out and won’t have to worry about what she says. But I’ll tell you this: you might feel different about me by the time your grown up and however you feel I want you to know I’ll respect that. But I ain’t gonna forget about you. Not ever.” 

“Your time is up,” the court-appointed social worker states. 

“No!” Y/N shouts, burying herself deeper into Joel’s embrace. “NO! I’m not leaving! I won’t leave you!”

Joel hugs her back tightly, crying into the top of her head as she sobs softly into his chest. 

In the end, the social worker has to pull her away as she screams.

“I love you, Y/N!” he calls to her as the social worker drags her from him. “Never gonna forget you, babygirl. Remember that.”

All Joel can hear back is a broken wail.

***

Erica attends the trial; the kids are forbidden. Joel’s defense claims it was a drunken accident and goes for manslaughter. Because he killed a known child molester he has no trouble while he waits in jail. He is even considered a hero by some. No one tries to fuck with him and that’s how Joel would prefer it since if he gets into too many fights it will just add to his sentence and he must get out and get back to his babygirl if she’ll still have him. His lawyer tells him not to mention the threats that David made toward Y/N because it will look like more of a reason that Joel would have had to intentionally kill him as opposed to accidentally like the manslaughter plea would have the court believe. Joel listens. He does exactly what he’s told because this lawyer is good and he needs to get out someday for christ sake.

In the end, he gets ten years and his lawyer tells him he could get eight for good behavior.

Eight years, if Joel can manage it.

They take him away to prison in handcuffs. Erica sobs. It is the last time he sees her.

***

Joel always wondered if his temper would land him in prison. Now that he’s here things go surpringly well. He gets a reputation for being the murderer of a child molestor and people respect him, listen to him when he bothers to speak. He keeps things in order and people start to refer to him as the “pod boss.” He also reads a lot in his cell, tries to help people with their cases and appeals if he can. And if someone steps out of line, Joel is more than happy to put them in their place so long as he can avoid attention from the guards, who he actually mostly gets along with to their faces, but behind their backs beats people to a pulp. No one ever dares to snitch on him and he is considered on the right track to get out for good behavior early. 

Time passes — painfully long stretches of time.

He has a lot of time to think, to read. He reads every book in the prison library over the time he is incarcerated. He reads parenting books, self-help books, books on trauma, books on abuse, books on anger management, books on meditation, books on spirituality (nothing sticks in that regard though, he is still furious like God, but less so these days). Somehow his anger has started to simmer down a notch.   

But he worries his babygirl will forget about him, or worse grow to hate him. He’s not sure he’ll survive that.    

Luckily, or he might have withered away and died, somehow Y/N convinces Erica to let her write him a letter once a month and have one call with him on Christmas. 

Christmases quickly become his favorite day of the year. 

Y/N writes him religiously. She talks about how angry she is at him, how she misses him, how she finally fixed the motor on Joel’s old pickup truck, how some boy gave her a love letter on Valentine’s Day, how she thinks of him every day.

Joel never tells her what David said about her, lets her believe he is just some violent, drunken idiot. He writes back how much he misses her, how he read a new book this week, how prison food is shit, how he’d probably greet that boy with a shotgun if he thinks he’s getting anywhere with his babygirl, how his whole heart beats for her.

She’s allowed to send him one photo a year, her most current school photo, and Joel hangs them on the wall of his cell so he can see her beaming at him at his highest and lowest moments along with the tiny picture of Sarah he managed to save from his wallet. 

Aiden even sends him a card each Father’s Day. It never has anything written in it except for whatever stupid pun or text the card came with, but Joel reads between the lines with that one. Each one seems to whisper to him louder and louder, I love you and I forgive you. Joel writes him back, “Thanks, kiddo. -Joel” He hope that conveys the thousands of sorrys he wants to scream from the rooftops and say straight to the boy’s face. He will someday when he gets out. He makes himself promise. He hears from Y/N when Aiden joins the marines. 

When Joel gets to actually hear Y/N’s voice on the old prison phone it’s like the most beautiful sound he has ever heard except for maybe Sarah’s voice. She babbles away about her life and what’s she’s up to and he hangs on every word like gospel. He barely gets a word in, but prefers it that way. Wishes he could hear her singing. Once, when she’s sixteen, and sounds so woefully grown up it hurts Joel’s entire heart, she hums a little absentmindedly and he can’t get the sweet sound out of his head. Her love for him never seems to waver and that is a blessing that Joel will never forget, the only thing he would thank this cruel God for. And of course, his love for her never wavers either. She is the only beacon of light for him in this dark and mundane existence. She is his everything.

***

When Y/N is eighteen and no longer under her mother’s control, she comes to visit him in person. This is the first time they have seen each other in six years. Despite their loving correspondence, Joel is nervous to see her for the first time since her childhood. He worries about how awkward it might be.

When he sees her walking into the dinky little family meeting room, his entire mode of existence changes.

She looks so beautiful, so grown-up. Sure she had always been a cute little kid, Joel always thought that, but now she is a woman. Tears come to Joel’s eyes. When her eyes connect with his, he feels so seen .

He tries to get a word out, but before he can she is running to him, into his arms and Joel has never felt something so perfect in his entire life. He knows he has never felt a love like this before. Not even with Sarah…something about this is different somehow? Joel is not too in touch with his feelings, but he’s trying to be more attentive to them these days with nothing left to do but read about such topics as “emotional regulation” and “mindfulness.” He’ll come back to this thought later though…

Y/N begins to babble into his ear, something about missing him and not wanting it to be awkward, but this is the furthest from awkward Joel has ever felt.

Joel has never been a man of many words so all he can think to say is,

“Missed you, babygirl.”

She grins at that, brighter than all the suns of all the planets in the universe (Joel has been reading about those too) and he laughs for the first time in what feels like a lifetime.

She laughs too, wipes tears from her eyes, and says,

“Missed you too, Joel. More than you know.”

Joel thinks that can’t possibly be true for that is all he has known for the last six years and possibly his entire life: missing her.

She comes once a month, drives an hour just to see him, and she tells him about college and later her very own shitty apartment. Her mother has thrown herself into her work and Aiden is serving his second tour. She makes good grades and has a stable boyfriend that treats her well, she swears. Joel couldn’t be happier for her, except the boyfriend business does make him want to crush that little fucker’s head in for some reason.

***

The last time Y/N comes to visit before his release (eight years to the day for good behavior) (she is 20 damn years old already!) something feels different to Joel. When he hugs her to greet her, he’s suddenly very aware of her body, the curves of it, her softness. Her hair smells so good, he doesn’t want to let go of her and then to his intense dismay and shock he feels himself getting a little excited down south. Immediately, he lets go of her, feeling like a pervert, praying she didn’t and doesn’t notice. He doesn’t see any obvious signs from her and the two sit down (Joel rather quickly) at the flimsy, nailed-down table and they talk of Joel’s impending release. All the while, Joel is trying to stay calm. He convinces himself it was just an accident and that he hadn’t been around any women in what felt like an eternity and that’s what  led him to get worked up. But when Y/N leaves to go home he feels a kind of dull longing in the bottom of his gut. A different kind of longing then what he had felt for a younger Y/N. Joel tells himself not to repress for the first goddamn time in his life and let himself feel. And he does. He feels butterflies and yearning and need, a great big need inside himself. And then he knows what else he feels: the gut-wrenching, unquenchable sensation of love and beneath that, primal, base, and self-loathing: desire . 

In his solo cell (that he has acquired because he is the pod boss and respected) he jerks off to those thoughts, touches himself to those feelings. When he cums unusually hard, he feels an overwhelming amount of shame. Of this, Joel knows, he will never ever tell another soul. Joel also knows he will not hurt his babygirl any more than he already has, intentionally or not, not ever. But then again, being a good, upstanding man has never really quite been in his arsenal, has it?

Tags (LMK if you wanna be tagged!): @toxicanonymity @motelprincess444 @epicrainbowsheep @anama-cara @sheepdogchick3

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PLEASE COMMENT LIKE REBLOG IM BEGGING IM PLEADING IM CRYING

PART 2

Violent Heart Masterlist

Full Masterlist of all my work

#ao3 #fanfiction #joel miller #the last of us #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #tlou #joel miller/you #joel miller/reader #dark joel miller #mechanic joel miller #convict joel miller #dark fic #joel miller imagine #joel miller smut #the last of us fanfiction #tlou fanfiction #joel miller tlou #joel miller fic #pedro pascal #pedro pascal fandom #pedro pascal characters #my fic #writing

[seangelfish]

hii 💕 i wanted to request hcs of mayoi, rinne and rei (separately obv), about them being all needy, clingy and annoying to their s/o hehe ^_^ (nsfw too pls, with afab they/them reader 🙏🙏)

A/N: Honestly, I had no idea how to even incorporate NSFW into this request because it just seems more of a fluffy than a sexy request lmao so please bare with me on this one. However, I actually enjoyed writing this, so I hope you enjoy reading! ⸜(⸝⸝⸝´꒳`⸝⸝⸝)⸝♡ I need to fuck Rei.

WHEN THEY'RE NEEDY OF THEIR S/O

Featured characters: Mayoi Ayase, Rinne Amagi, Rei Sakuma ♡ Tags: Smut (NSFW), established relationships (separate), gn!AFAB reader (no mention of pronouns), unprotected sex, creampie, soft & vanilla sex, handjob, riding, missionary, oral (receiving and giving), bondage, headcanons but also written as a bullet point fic(?), not proofread! ♡ Word count: 1,988 ♡ Synopsis: HCs of how the three would act towards you in their 'time of need.'

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT! NSFW below the cut. Please proceed with caution.

MAYOI AYASE

After a while, when he's finally comfortable in the relationship where he can act clingy around you, he'll annoy you with his need for your affection and touch.

He'll never make a move on you first though. He doesn't want to 'damage' you, so he'll always wait on your initiative. He'll let you do anything to him, but he wouldn't dare do anything to harm you even if it's just sex.

He wants to hug you like he usually does, but this time, the feeling's a little different. He thinks that he'll lose your trust if he touches you when he's feeling aroused. So, if he's feeling needy for your touch, he'll stutter it out.

"(Y-Y/N)..." he whimpers. "P-Please touch me..."

The way he looks at you, begging you to touch him, turns you on. Since he has asked you so nicely, you have decided to fulfil his needs as you begin to rub his clothed cock.

He's a stuttering, whimpering mess. His face is flushed red as it already forms sweat. He continues to act needy, begging you to keep going.

"Wah... (Y/N)... t-touch me more... p-please..."

That's when you unbuckle his belt and slip his pants off. Being annoyingly needy has its consequences~

"Alright, this is what you asked for~" you sing. "Get ready."

Therefore, whenever he acts so desperate and needy for your attention, you tease him a bit. You don't give him what he wants as quickly as you should've, but he doesn't mind. He feels like he deserves it, that he should beg and wait for it. He doesn't mind if you stroke his cock ever so slowly, that you let go midway as he's about to come. As long as your hands are touching him, he's happy.

He knows you're not mean, that you just won't let him finish. So, he's patient, and he'll wait for the time you allow him to come.

He'll probably annoy you with words such as "Ah~ (Y/N)... p-please... please let me come..." and even cling onto your arm. However, you like this a little too much.

Him annoyingly begging for you to come? Music to your ears. You love your adorable, needy Mayoi, and you're going to let him come, alright.

When he's on edge where he can't hold it in anymore, that's when you speed up your strokes. "Let out lots for me, darling~" you soothe. "Y-Yes, dear..." he breathes as the tip of his dick gushes out with handfuls of cum. It's a beautiful sight to see.

You clean him up with your mouth, licking his cum all up before kissing him roughly. "Like the way you taste?" you ask him, but he can only let out a whimper. You're definitely the dom in this relationship.

He's definitely exhausted, but it seems like he wants more by the way he has kept you in place. Well, you weren't complaining because you wanted to do him more too.

When you undress yourself, his face becomes even more red than it was earlier.

Yet he loves it when you stuff his dick into your pussy. He loves the tightness of it, how your walls cave in on him. You don't even let him touch you when you ride him either, but it's okay because he feels ecstatic. He feels so good that he's moaning even louder. He's also glad that you're enjoying yourself too. Your moans are cute and he wants to drown himself in the sound.

You make out with him as you grind on his cock. He enjoys the feeling so much that he's about to come again. He warns you and you force him not to come until you allow him to. He easily obeys even if it's hard to do so.

"Ahh~ (Y/N)... I can't hold it in a-any longer!" he wails. "P-Please... f-forgive me for asking too much of y-you...!"

When you finally let him come again, you continue with your act. Why not overstimulate him? He's been begging you for your touch, so why not give it all to him?

RINNE AMAGI

Whenever Rinne's needy for your touch, he's really annoying about it. He clings to you, saying nothing but sweet, sexy things to you. Usually, you'd comply because seducing you usually works, but this time you were just too tired.

He's still trying though since he's already brick hard, but you just didn't want to have sex with him in that moment! You just wanted to doze off and take a nap, but he's so persistent.

"Please, my love?" he pleads as he nuzzles his nose in the crook of your neck whilst spooning you.

Of course, if you truly didn't want to do it, then he'll leave you alone, but he can tell by your body language that you did want to partake in it. After all, you've been rubbing your ass on his dick for a while now.

However, you were still kind of tired, so you had let him do everything this session as you rested your eyes for a bit.

He's usually not this needy, but it's a nice sight to see. He took his clothes off before stripping you down. Then he left trails of kisses from your neck to your chest, taking little nibbles at your breasts.

"Argh... I wanted you so bad, you don't understand," he says. "Today's been rough."

When he inserts his cock inside you, he lowers his body down so the two of you can hold each other. However, since you were dozing off to sleep, you're not exactly reciprocating his feelings. This makes him more annoyingly needy as he tries to wake you up, breathing into your mouth as he kisses you roughly.

"(Y/N)... please..." he whines. He usually doesn't whine like this, but it sounds nice. "I can't do this on my own... I want you to do it with me..."

Because he's being so cute, you end up following his needs. You wrap your legs around his back, returning all the kisses that he has given you. He thrusts into you slowly and the two of you moan into each other's mouths as you make out.

You try your hardest not to mention how cute he's being, though. Otherwise, he'd stop. You know how Rinne is.

He will keep moaning your name when he's in this state. "Ahhh~ Fuck... (Y/N)... You feel so good around my dick... Shit..." he groans into your ear. "Argh, (Y/N)... Fuck... Please don't go to sleep..."

Having him wrapped around your finger like this feels great. Maybe you should keep him going? Well, that is what you wanted him to do to begin with, but he's begging you. He doesn't usually do this. So, you WILL make the best of it.

As Rinne fucks you, you drift off into a light slumber. He's kind of upset that you're not paying attention to him anymore, but he'll make do. He'll fuck your body awake if he can, but knowing you, you'd probably sleep through it.

So as he speeds up his pace, trying to get off on you, he continues to whimper out your name. "Ahh... ahh... please... (Y/N)~" So annoying. You were trying to sleep for real this time. 'But fuck, it feels good,' you think.

He's been leaving you hickies everywhere too, trying to jerk you awake, but you don't let him win. You like the way he's moaning right now, so you're going to savour it.

When he comes inside you, he falls into your chest, breathless. "(Y/N)... you were so mean to me today..." he breathes. "Fuck..."

Needy Rinne is something you could get used to~

REI SAKUMA

Rei is constantly needy for your affection whatever it may be. He is the definition of clingy. When he is in need of your touch, he'll get on his knees and beg for it. He'll kiss the back of your hands, your palms – whatever you need him to kiss, he'll do it. He's so down bad for you, it's crazy.

But it's also so hot.

Because despite his clingy, needy days, you're the one who's usually pestering him to put his cock inside you. It's a nice change to see him beg for you now.

And you just love the way he begs.

However, even when he's the one who's begging you to touch him, to make him come, you're one to use this opportunity to have him eat you out instead.

"You'll get your reward once you do this for me~" you purr.

And because he's so desperate to have you suck on his cock or to have you ride him, he'll do whatever you want. He was already on his knees, so it was perfect. With your thighs spread apart, he digs in. Licking your pussy like a hungry dog, his dick was getting harder and harder by the second. Oh, he wanted you so bad. And the way you were moaning by the touch of his tongue? He wanted to hear you scream his name once his cock was shoved inside you.

"Ah~" you moan. "That's it... ah~ that feels so good~"

Once you came, he looked at you with puppy dog eyes, awaiting his turn. "(Y/N), please... please fuck me..."

"Since you've been such a good boy," you begin. "I'll do what you ask~"

The two of you like exploring different ways to pleasure the other, so this time, you had Rei tied up. Bound to a chair with ropes wrapped around his wrists behind his back, you slowly insert yourself down his shaft, causing a moan to escape his lips. He's excited at the predicament he's in. This is so alluring to him. Perhaps he should have you do this to him more...

With your arms looped around his neck, you start grinding on his cock. It's unfortunate that he can't touch you with his hands, so he'll use his mouth instead. Biting at your earlobe, Rei continues to groan at the pleasure you're giving him. He'll start begging for more. He'll beg you to ruin him, and that's something you can never say no to.

"Gyah~ ahh... (Y/N), my love, I... gah..." he chokes as he moans, saliva forming in his mouth. He looks so red right now, red as the tomato juice he usually drinks. He's sweating too, his hair a mess. It honestly turns you on a little bit more. "I want to touch you... please..." he begs.

"I'm sorry, dear, but you can't!" you chirp. "After all, I'm just giving you what you've asked for... my needy, little vampire boyfriend deserves this, does he not?"

His face is already red as it is, but he's flushed by this. His dick twitches and you can feel it inside you.

"You can't come yet," you order, your tone stern. You grip his fringe back to reveal his bare forehead. He likes this side of you since you're usually so sweet, and you still are as you give him a little kiss on his forehead. And now he wants you even more.

He tries to laugh, but the pleasure that you're giving him is so good that all he can let out are beautiful moans. "More..." he groans. "(Y/N), please... ahh~ make me produce lots of cum..." "Of course, my love, but you better not let it all out until I tell you to~"

And he obeys. He's a moaning mess, his body sweating, his hair tangled up. "Ahhh~ (Y/N)~ Fuck... ahh... you're making me feel so good, my love... But I can't keep it in any longer..."

You slow down, kissing his lips softly. "Then come, my love." As he comes inside you, he moans out your name, his body shaking all over. You could feel his seed fill you up. It makes you moan too, the way he fills you up is addicting.

Even when you pull yourself up from his dick, he keeps coming. His dick is still hard and it's still squirting out strings of thick cum. What a pretty sight, to see your beautiful, dark-haired boyfriend who's always composed be so pathetic. Although, he is already kind of pathetic sometimes.

Intro page | Ensemble Stars masterlist | Rules

#ensemble stars x reader #enstars x reader #mayoi ayase x reader #rinne amagi x reader #rei sakuma x reader #mayoi ayase hcs #rinne amagi hcs #rei sakuma hcs #mayoi ayase smut #rinne amagi smut #rei sakuma smut #mayoi ayase x reader smut #rinne amagi x reader smut #rei sakuma x reader smut #enstars smut #ensemble stars smut #enstars x y/n

[woominutes]

ko kyungjun as a boyfriend

he is THE hates everyone but you bf

bad boy with a soft spot for you kinda trope

just replace bad boy with bully

he doesn't go out of his way for anyone except you

princess treatment? you got it.

he'd make jinha and seungbin do the work when they are around lol

his love languages are;

acts of service

holding doors for you, buying you snacks, walking you home, helping you the week before and during your period. the things he does for you can erase any doubts that may arise in your head about his feelings for you.

he might hold back sometimes to not appear as a simp and maintain his reputation as the tough bully though.

physical touch

always has his hands on you in a way, mostly around the waist or shoulders. it is a sign of affection but also ownership as he wants to make your relationship known to other boys so they don't even dare to make a move.

also having you on his lap, he loves that. especially during recess at school, you can be found sitting on him while he zones out or talks with jinha and seungbin.

and quality time

asking you to hang out after school, inviting you to his place to chill, tagging along when you have errands to run if he is in the mood for it.

this guy literally walks away from people and situations when he doesn't care to be bothered so spending his time on/with someone definitely means something.

now about gift giving

i don't think he'd put a lot of thought into gifts. on specific occasions like anniversaries or trying to impress you, yes, but nothing too fancy otherwise.

however, you'd get little things; like a flower from a random garden he passed by from.

in my eyes, he's a casual sharer in a relationship

what is his is yours, his basketball sneakers being the only exception. food, clothes, his bed, his heart, everything.

you like his jacket? you'll share it back and forth, one week his and two weeks yours. you like his hoodie? take it. you like his shirt? wear it (but bring it back after a month and borrow another). you like his earrings? you can wear the right one and he'll wear the left one.

words of affirmation is not something he is good at

it's hard for him to express himself. he can throw a few playful sweet words here and there but rarely gets serious. he has his moments, especially after intimate situations with intense feelings, but they're few.

rarely says "i love you", he shows it instead.

he'd be the one to secretly need words of affirmation despite denying it

not too much praise though, he'll get cocky

bro felt love for the first time and his world changed #canon

such a show-off, especially with basketball

"this is for you" *misses the shot*

once threw the ball in hyunho's face because you were looking at the poor boy for too long and kyungjun got jealous

cue nahee running to help hyunho with his bloody nose

he eliminates your worries when he can

(we all know how I'm talking about)

tending to his wounds whenever he gets injured

insecure hence extreme jealousy

someone looks at you for too long? glares at them. someone talks to you? either waves them off or mocks them when they leave. someone confesses to you? they get threats as a warning. someone touches you? disappeared from the face of earth.

i could actually see him wanting to kill other boys out of jealousy but he'll hold himself back by giving them a light beating instead.

"me? jealous? ha! I'm better than that asshole"

yeah yeah sure

bro is so aggressive

you'd most likely have to witness a lot of outbursts of anger

but he apologises after, usually

intended empty words or not, you'll witness his wrath again because that is his reaction to almost everything that inconveniences him

he's throwing things and punching walls

BUT NEVER EVER hits you

even if he unconsciously shoves you, he regrets it immediately

many, mostly minor, arguments because of misunderstandings and lack of communication

he is not very confrontational when it comes to a relationship, either because he doesn't want to appear vulnerable and clingy or he doesn't know how to express himself and figure out why he is feeling the way he does.

when his hidden feelings of insecurity and discomfort bubble up, it's hell for the both of you. screaming, crying, him acting like he doesn't care to protect himself.

and his impulsivity makes it harder to make up sometimes

he might say hurtful things out of anger that will keep you away from him for a while but he rarely actually means them, it's just his defense and illusion of security.

possessive and slightly controlling

he cares too much when he considers his relationship serious and it's not just him fooling around.

unfortunately, he'll use manipulation when he wants something badly or to convince you of something. if you call him out, he'll drop the act and most likely get annoyed.

he needs a lot of work when it comes to the negative aspects of his personality for a healthy relationship to exist

he is not too much of a bad guy, he just has issues

and needs therapy

passionate makeout sessions

those big palms and veiny hands know how to grip. he's the dominant one and he won't have it any other way, wanting to have power and control over the pace and movements.

high libido, that's all i'm apparently allowed to say :P

learns and remembers a lot about you

especially your habits and quirks

if you smoke too;

he'll share his cigarettes with you

and steal a couple of yours when he is out of his

if you hate smoking;

LIKE LITERALLY CANNOT BREATHE AROUND SMOKERS

he'll make an effort to not smoke when you are present

brushes his teeth or eats a piece of gum before he kisses you if he meets you after smoking <3

can't have you thinking he is gross smh

if you're short;

he definitely teases you about your height

picks you up just for fun or carries you around like you weigh nothing

ties your shoelaces for you

playfully insulting each other and bantering all the time to show affection

you're the only one he actually listens to <3

you shove him or nudge him when he is being too mean to other people or crossing a line

still goes wild when you're not around

you are his lockscreen <3

not too much of a talkative texter

sort written replies but long voice messsages

oml that voice

sends you pics of himself all the time, expecting compliments and praise

shirtless mirror pics focusing on his abs? all yours. manspreading pictures? you got them. selfies in which he tries to appear tough but his cheeks and soft features make him look like the cutest boy you've ever seen? yep.

cares a lot about how you view him so he takes a lot of time to make sure he picks the right pics to send you.

let's not fool ourselves, he knows you love those muscles and he purposely puts them on display for you

cuddles with kyungjun are warm and tight, becoming one under a blanket

more of a motorcycle guy

buys you your own helmet <3

not one for fancy dates, maybe dinner here and there, but prefers casual hangouts

movie nights at his house, late night walks and rides, chilling at a convenience store after school.

just peaceful private moments.

pretends to not like cheesy couple things, such as matching outfits or pajamas, but they secretly warm his heart

he takes your gifts very seriously; wears them to please you or carries them around with him

get him a neck pillow

you have him wrapped around your finger no matter how much he denies it

jinha has gotten a good smack in the back of his head for voicing that fact multiple times

© to @woominutes on tumblr; do not repost or steal

#woominutes ♡ #night has come #nhc #ko kyungjun x reader #go kyungjun x reader #ko kyung jun x reader #go kyung jun x reader #ko kyungjun #ko kyung jun #go kyungjun #go kyung jun #night has come kdrama #night has come kyungjun #night has come ko kyungjun #cha woomin

[peterparkersnose]

Give In

pairing: Joel Miller x reader

word count: 2.3k

warnings: suicidal thoughts, pining possibly one sided, ANGST (just a large angst piece, i wanted some joel angst so I made it), description of depression, emotional dependency on a person, arguing, fluff sprinkled in, implied age gap not specified, reference to pregnancy, mentions of substance and alcohol abuse, joel is lowkey toxic and uses reader

a/n hi loves I wrote this after the first episode aired, so if anything contradicts anything in the future in this story that is why. also, i didnt know how to end it so im sorry if the ending is a bit choppy. happy last of us sunday!

summary Y/N has feelings for Joel that she can’t control anymore

Part 2 here

masterlist

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read time: 8 min 33 seconds

The harsh chill of the autumn afternoon swept your hair off your shoulders. The ration line was as long as ever, but seemed to be moving quickly. A stray dog barked as others murmured on the street. Staring down at your boots, you bit at your chapped lips.

“You’ve been avoiding me,”

His voice sent chills up your spine. He was behind you, must have slipped in line without the other person noticing. Of course now was the time he decided to confront you. And he wasn’t wrong.

Straightening your back, you turn towards him.

“Have I?” you asked, raising your eyebrows slightly. The line moved forward and so did you.

“Tess said you weren’t feeling well.”

She was partially right. It was the blatant lie you were telling the very few who were close to you. You were physically fine.

“I’m fine, Joel.” you said promptly, turning a cold shoulder to the older man.

“If you need any meds or anything…” he began. You knew Joel had anything you needed. Quite literally.

“Next!” The FEDRA soldier called, motioning for you to get in the final line. You gave Joel a tight lipped smile before disappearing in the crowd.

Back at your sad excuse for an apartment, you poked your fork at your stale meal. You tried to think about todays’s job but the thought of Joel Miller consumed you.

How his hands felt on your skin, how soft his hair could be, how much he respected you in private. Flashbacks of previous nights where he had snuck over and stayed with you burned in your brain.

You never thought the hookup would turn in to feelings. Especially in this world. Feelings you were sure he wouldn’t reciprocate. Joel wasn’t a very emotionally available man. And he had Tess- rumors of them being together had been going on for years. Sure, they deny it. But you see the way he looks at her sometimes. His eyes burn with the lust you want from him, but there staring at her.

Tess was friendly and all, you got along quite well with her in fact. Jobs worked with Tess usually went better than others. But the knowledge that she goes home to him every night almost ate you alive. You felt used every time you would watch her turn the alleyway to their apartment.

Roommates my ass.

It had been over a month since the last time you saw Joel.

He was right, you were avoiding him. Taking the jobs you knew he wouldn’t dare go by such as childcare. Taking a different route home to avoid any run ins. Leaving your lights off and sitting in the dark to possibly deter him away from your place. All your little queues worked.

And the pain grew day by day.

You layed in your mattress with your face buried in your pillow. It stopped smelling like him weeks ago, but you liked to pretend it still did.

You couldn’t live like this anymore.

Pills weren’t numbing enough. Alcohol wasn’t as fun as it used to be. The constant state of depression in this damned district was enough to make you want to end it.

But seeing him across the alleyway talking to a group of people or in the line for rations was enough to keep that tiny spark lit inside of you.

There wasn’t much else to look forward to in this world besides others. Living the same day your whole life is miserable without your spark of joy in it.

Sleep was close, you could feel it. Your thin blankets were just cutting it for the night. As the dreams began to dance in your head, you were awoken by a quiet knock on your door.

“For fucks sake,” you groaned, flipping over in bed. You ignored the knocks. They became more persistent.

The old doorknob then dropped to the floor, startling you awake. You didn’t even have to guess who it was. The door slowly creaked open as you heard him curse to himself.

“I’ll fix it later,” he sighed, picking it off your floor and placing it on your countertop. He pushed one of your folding chairs next to your table up against the door to keep it sturdy.

“So your just breaking into apartments now?” you snapped, sitting up right in bed. “I needed to see you.” he protested.

“I never knew Joel Miller to need anything.”

He sighed and rested against your countertop. “I need to know,”

“Know what?” you asked, wrapping a blanket around your exposed shoulders. A tank top wasn’t ideal to sleep in, in these conditions.

“What’s wrong.” he said bluntly. “I said there’s nothing wrong. What the hell are you doing walking around freely at night?” you yelled, realizing the time was way past midnight. The sounds of soldiers a few floors down outside your apartment began to yell. How did he move past them?

“You sick?” he asked in a more hushed tone, walking towards you. “Respiratory? Head pain? Joints? You pregnant?” he somewhat joked, looking over you in bed.

“Shut up.” you said coldly. “Can you please just go?”

You knew Joel wasn’t a good listener. “What is it?” he said sternly, sitting down next to your body in bed. He grabbed your wrist ever so slightly. Your pulse was shaking in his grasp.

“I don’t have to explain myself to you.”

You looked at the other side of your apartment, out the window. Rain had began to slowly plague the window. Ignoring Joel’s touch, you watched as the few drops raced to the bottom of the window.

“After everything I’ve done for you?” Joel sighed, not letting go of you.

“Stop, please. J-just stop talking to me.” you said, lying through your teeth. He could sense the pain hiding behind those eyes. “I’m not leaving.” he protested.

“Look at me.”

You turned to face him. His eyes were locked on yours. A genuine worried look was on his face. He looked softer, nothing like you had ever seen before.

It was almost as if someone asked you if you were okay when you were very obviously not. Silent tears rolled down your face as you tried to catch your breathe.

The man who you couldn’t love was staring in to your soul. There was no way you ever could love him. He was too mean, too stern, too old, too angry for you. The two of you were polar opposites. But as the saying goes, ‘opposites attract’.

Joel was unsure on what to do. Tess never cried. Hell, you never cried. He racked his brain for something, just something to soothe you.

He offered out a hand. Against your better judgement you took it. Connecting his other hand to your cheek, he tried to wipe away the streak of tears silently leaving your eyes. He held you tightly in your bed, stroking your hair as your head quickly made contact with the crook of his neck.

“I wish I didn’t have these feelings,” you cried into his embrace. Joel was confused on what you were getting at, but he ignored it. He tried to shush you in a soothing way.

“No, please. I wish I didn’t have these feelings… but I do.”

Joel froze. “What?” he asked, holding you in place.

You pulled back and looked at him. It felt like the first time over again. “Look at me and tell me you don’t feel a thing.” you hiccupped.

“I…” Joel sighed, closing his eyes for a moment and letting a breathe of air go.

“Say it.” you demanded.

The silence in the room was deafening.

“I can’t.” Joel said quickly. He looked down at his knees on your mattress.

“I think you should go.” you sighed, laying back on your side and facing the opposite wall.

He listened. Finally, Joel caught a hint. The sound of him walking away made you long for him more than ever. But it was good. The feeling of him leaving, knowing you were right. Joel Miller wasn’t a man who could love. At least not anymore.

Your sudden pride stopped when you heard his boots thud against the floor. Then the all familiar zip of his jeans followed by the hit of him placing them on your wooden chair next to your bed.

He rested a hand on your thigh as he peeled up the blanket that was stuck to your legs. Slowly, he moved down next to you in the tiny space you were leaving him.

“You don’t listen.” you huffed, still not giving him enough space on the bed.

“When do I ever?” he chuckled, wrapping his arm around your waist.

Fuck it. You gave in.

You allowed his arm to move closer to the underside of your breasts. Scooting over in bed, you gave him more space for his legs to entwine with you. His boxer’s material rubbed against the back of your thigh. It smelt like him; Wet grass and expired generic soap scent had never smelt better.

Sleep kindly greeted you once you felt his breathing slow. Trying to match his, you fell into the deep sleep you had been yearning for, for what seemed like weeks.

-

The absence in the morning was startling.

You struggled to move, hoping that the previous night was just a horrifying dream. A sigh escaped from your lips when you saw his boots sitting against the wall where he placed them last night.

The clanking sound of tools made you turn. On the other side of your small studio apartment, there he sat at your doorframe attempting to fix your door handle.

The overcast sky stayed, but you could tell it was early morning by the chatter outside.

“Shit!” Joel hissed, grabbing his finger in pain. “Damn fucking…”

He looked up and noticed you watching him.

“You alright?” you asked, watching him in amusement as he attempted to fix your door.

“Yeah,” he mumbled, sucking the tip of his finger. “Haven’t fixed a door in a good twenty years.” he muttered, wiping off the excess blood on his already dirtied jeans.

“Go back to bed, It’s still early.” he suggested, going through the tiny tool kit he had given you as a previous gift.

“This is more entertaining than sleep,” you chuckled, placing your feet on the cold ground and getting out of bed. “You want any breakfast? I don’t know if I have anything good here but…”

“Nah. Tess’l be expecting me.”

The sheer thought of Tess waiting at their home for him was enough to ruin the whole night you had before.

Joel looked up to you after your lack of a response. He noticed the demeanor change in your face. “Everything okay?” he asked, turning back to the doorknob he was almost finished fixing.

“You seem to go sour every time I mention Tess.”

“I wonder why,” you muttered under your breathe, attempting to open a tuna can for breakfast. You tried not to dry heave as the scent of the old fish met your nose. Tuna was never a favorite meal, especially for breakfast. But, it’s all you had.

Joel pretended like he didn’t hear you, but he heard you loud and clear. “We have a run to do today. You understand that, right?”

A bitter ‘mhm’ came from your lips as you shook the prepackaged coffee in your hand before ripping off the seal.

Joel sighed and placed the screw driver down dramatically. Joel’s knees cracked as he got up from his position. “You always gotta fucking act jealous. Don’t you? Ruinin’ a nice morning.”

“Jealous?” you said, raising your voice.

“What the hell do you even want from me?” you scorned, on the brink of tears. He could see through you like glass. You hated to admit it, but he knew you like the back of his hand.

Joel wished he could shout out the answer, but his ego kept it in.

You froze with your back turned to him and set down the brittle coffee mug. “Your always leaving me to go to her…”

“Because we’re business partners, Y/N. Don’t you get it? Don’t you hate livin’ the same damn day over and over again? It’s why I come to see you.”

“Stop,” you whispered, now face to face with him. “Stop yelling. Please, it’s too fucking early to get into that shit.”

“Really? Tell me you don’t loose your mind living the same day, same drama for years!” he yelled. “Always you being jealous. Don’t you ever get sick of it?”

Anger consumed you. Proof that the two of you would never work. He’s just a bitter old man.

“You know I would give anything to leave this damn QZ! To live a normal life, not fucking be here.” you yelled, with a finger now pointed at his face. You were avoiding the original accusation. Jealousy.

“Tell me.” you said, with a quieter but angrier tone. “Am I really just your fuck toy?”

Joel stepped back for a moment, stunned at what you just said. Guilt seemed to wrack his nerves as the realization hit him.

You were in love with him.

“Is that what you think?” he asked, approaching you with a sorrowful more soft look. “What else am I supposed to think? You come here, use me, and leave and go back to her.”

The feeling of letting go of all that emotion felt healing. The sudden aftermath of realizing what you just had accused him of made you feel somewhat guilty.

“No,” he sighed, grabbing your hand. “That- no. Absolutely not Y/N.”

His other hand reached for your chin, and brought your face up to his gaze. You could feel his heat on your skin.

“Understand…” he began to say. “Understand what?” you whispered back. A sly smile came to his lips.

“Give in,” he whispered, dropping your hand and wrapping his around your waist.

You melted into his grasp as he kissed you. Joel hadn’t kissed anyone in years. The hesitation from him only brought out the dominance in you.

As the two of you mutually pulled away, you wanted nothing more as to be back where you were just seconds ago.

“Understand that it’s hard.” he said, still holding you close. “I…”

“I know.” you said, cutting off his words.

You were an anxious, sorrowful over-thinker and he was the bitter, closed off introvert.

“I’ll be back,” he said, with a slighter more chipper tone. “Tonight. We have to get this damn car battery and…”

“Stay safe,”

“I promise.” Joel said. He really did not want to leave you. The thought of the two of you spending today lazily in bed was very tempting.

“But please believe me Y/N when I say, you are and never have been just a ‘fuck toy’.”

He squeezed your hand once more and then dropped it. Silence filled the apartment after he left.

The thought of how you tasted haunted Joel Miller’s mind the whole day.

Part 2

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