#also i had raised my regular weights after a while before and. like i know i lost some during my break but i'm loathe to go back down

[zincbot]

first workout after top surgery had me flying high all day

#my seroma is probably finally gone and i just have this one tiny spot that's not healed yet after 6 weeks #(i'm a slow healer in general so it's not unexpected) #i was doing some jumping jack variants during warmup and did feel that a little so i slowed it down #but it felt so good finally i've had this awful pent-up-energy for so long #even after i went beastmode in the woods #also workouts already made me feel a little gender before and now it's crazy the euphoria #i'm sure it'll die down eventually but AAAA I LOVE IT SM (it being. my body. how wild is that) #anyway i visted my family and talked to my brother abt working out almost the whole time #I WAS EXCITED OKAY #also had a fun hangout day with all my friends the night prior so just. i welcome the good mood #anyway i usually do upper focus (before) #but during my 6 weeks break i was thinking i shld probably add core to that #so now i'm gonna alternate core + upper. i did core today #it was actually a cardio circuit + a lower body circuit + a core circuit so i feel like it was a pretty well rounded first go back #i gotta be a little slow with upper body stuff anyway cause that's. the surgery. #also i had raised my regular weights after a while before and. like i know i lost some during my break but i'm loathe to go back down #so instead i'm using just one of my two weights for stuff that's too hard with 2 rn. works pretty well #and i already did this before but modifying certain lifts that are meant for smaller weights to be more stable to work with my regular ones #cause i don't have time to be constantly switching my weights and i don't have enough money for more than 1 set #anyway i don't usually do lower body focus (i skip leg day) cause my legs are very limited use due to some weird joint issue #my arms are too but i don't spent all day walking on my arms so i can usually push them a little harder in workout #ehehehe anyway

[peachesofteal]

Who wants to read the first like 1.4k of the winter ghoap fic even though it has absolutely no ghoap in it?

Winter in the mountains can be cruel. 

This is something you’ve always known, even as a child. You were raised with it. Chose to return to it after school, decided to make a go of it, of a life here, as an adult. You knew what you were getting yourself into, long cold winters that felt both bleak and promising, unblemished blankets of snow possessing the ability to be stunning, while also lethal. Winters were dangerous, silent killers that left corpses in their wake and no amount of lupine or paintbrushes, glacier fed lakes or springtime moose calves could make up for the hell that winter wrought. Winter brings most living things to the knife’s edge of survival, forcing most to bow beneath the weight of its fury, backs breaking with the burden of just existing in a below freezing environment. 

Although, there are some who do more than survive the cold, violent stretch of winter. There are predators who thrive. 

“You closin’?” Your coworker, the new one, asks from where she’s settled across the dark wood bar, two amber Budweiser bottles empty in front her idle hands, eyes wandering to guys posted up by the loneliest pool table in fifty square miles. 

“I am.” She casts the one window in the entire place a surreptitious glance, fingers peeling away at a label. It’s snowing, has been for hours, flakes fat and wet, fluffy enough that the density of the snow on the ground is light, but dangerous, as it hides the real risk underneath; packed snow sitting with a slick sheen of ice on top. 

“You still trying to make it over Fall River pass tonight?” You nod. 

“Yeah. Supposed to see my brother and his new baby this weekend.” 

“Fall River? Is that even open right now?” Andy, a regular who lives a few streets over from you, chimes in, twisting an empty rocks glass in his fist. You pull the bottle of Jameson from the rail and tip it vertical, honey brown liquid sloshing like a wave until his glass is halfway full, and he gives you a flirty kind of smile, the same one he’s been giving you for a year now. Yeeesh.

“It is. I could go around, but it just takes too long. And it’s Friday. I’m not trying to be stuck on the highway with ski traffic and the tourists in their rental cars.” You complain, and they both commiserate your opinion. Weekend traffic is brutal, especially in the winter. Driving in hazardous conditions is considered to be a talent more than an innate ability here, and people often overestimate their aptitude for it, causing crashes and delays that get the highway shut down for hours, or even days, at times. You shrug. “I’ve had my snow tires on for weeks. Might as well get some use out of them.” Andy snorts. 

“Like you haven’t been gettin’ good use out of them? First real snow was before Halloween this year.” You nod. He’s not wrong. You did get dumped on two weeks before the end of October, twenty-three inches piling up within two days, before half the area was even ready for it. You throw him a polite smile, one that you hope reads like ‘okay thanks for the concern, we’re done now’ and he sighs. “Well, drive safe.” 

Fall River pass, it turns out, is not open. It’s closed by the time you split off from the interstate and start the windy, switch-backed trek in your jeep, flashing orange and yellow lights dotting the top of a barricade just barely visible through the speckled snow flying by in your headlights. 

Fuck. You could have sworn the DOT website said it was open. You take a deep breath, quelling the anxiety that roils your stomach. Okay. Not the end of the world. There’s another road. A less maintained road, but… you’ll be fine. You’ve driven in worse. 

The other road, a sharp, narrow, desolate path that cuts through a large swath of unmanaged forest just outside the national park, is easy at first. You’ve been driving the same jeep for years, a 2007 two door Wrangler, and you know how it handles like the back of your hand. With snow tires, it could pretty much cut through anything, even unplowed, fire watch roads like this one. 

Which is why, after the first few miles, your nerves fully settle, and you allow yourself to relax a little bit behind the wheel, easing the jeep across the dips and slicks in the road as you cautiously build speed, snow falling fast through night, growing thicker the higher you travel into wilderness territory, and the farther you left modern civilization behind. 

An hour creeps by, and then two. Long enough that you’ve now realized you’re the only one using this road, fresh snow blanketing the woods around you, topography and vegetation starting to change as you encroach on what you assume must be eleven thousand feet. You’ve seen this road on google maps once, or twice maybe, having noted it for future travel just in case of a situation like this. It travels perpendicular to Fall River, and eventually meets another, one that must be similar, on the other side of the range. The secondary road is one that takes you along the ridge, and then down, you’re pretty sure, although you can’t be one hundred percent certain, because you lost cell reception before you even turned off from Fall River.

Still, won’t hurt to check and see if you have this area downloaded. 

You pull your phone from the center console, thumbing at the screen, allowing your eyes to linger too long without looking back up through the windshield. No one else is out here. It’s not like you need to worry about oncoming traffic. The little SOS insignia blinks at the top corner, and you tap on the map icon, hoping it will bring up your geo location so you can glance at the satellite map of the area. 

You’re so fixated watching the little circle of death try to load, that by the time you look up and see the tree laying across the road, it’s far too late. You do the first thing you were always taught not to do in winter conditions, and slam on the brake, slamming the pedal to floor, heart rate sky rocketing as you panic and lose total control of the jeep. You spin, shoulders and chest jamming against the seatbelt, headlights flashing off into the woods, illuminating an endlessly dark web of trees, bark and branch scratching across the paint as you careen off the road, tipping too precariously onto two wheels and then rolling. 

Time, your life, stands completely still for a moment. You see every individual fiber of the pine needles, every uniquely designed snowflake, every single droplet of blood that floats away from your face and through midair as you crash through the forest, your grasp on consciousness slipping farther and farther away as you’re jostled around, the jeep finally coming to a stop on its side, your head cracked against the driver’s window, stars and lights spawning out across your vision, headlights finally blinking out completely, leaving you in the dark. Your head spins like you’re still rolling, and the only sound in the dead silent snow is your harsh breathing, frantic terror bubbling up through your throat as pain surges through your body. 

It's freezing, but you feel surprisingly warm. 

You’re going to die out here. No one knows you took this road, you don’t have service, by the time they find you, it’ll be too late. You’ll be a bled out, frozen corpse, long gone and- 

You lose your train of thought quickly. Everything starts to fracture, fissures forming in your consciousness, part of you already losing the battle to the inevitable, black pulling over your eyes like a knit hat, lungs heaving just a little harder with each breath. 

Sleep. You could just close your eyes. Close your eyes, and sleep. 

Light sweeps across the ground, flashing across your face. You think, if you were truly with it, in your right mind, you’d think it was too bright. You’d say it was blinding. 

But you can’t formulate anything of the sort, mind too busy slipping away, falling into an inky black pool, just barely on the verge when you feel a gloved hand on your skin, the lilt of an accent on the wind. 

Sleep. 

#peaches writes

[therhythmafterthesummer]

you’ve talked about pregnancy scares before buttttttt how would the situation be different if it was before any of the couple were officially together and the scare was with a mystery man/ex? Also like kitten with an ex (her telling Min probably before that guy), I feel like Chris would find the test box and try work around it gently, and our poorest spicy is just on edge till her next period after leaving her old pack. Also very specifically for ginger, she must have been nesting sooo much right when she left but who’s scent was in the nest? (Was it just here’s or was she incorporating other’s?)

how do you think the boys would react and if those choose to try and help what do you think would happen? Who would be delulu and offer to raise it as their own with them….Christopher?

-🍑

OH MY GOD SDJFHSKDJHFSDFHSDKFHJ

okay okay.... here's what i think (tw for some... non-consensual themes, mentions of abortion and alcohol consumption, and other topics related to pregnancy):

Chris:

so, i imagine this happened in the earlier months of her living at his den. maybe right before she found out they were werewolves, or maybe a bit after.

Chris was helping pretty put away some groceries she bought and saw the box in one of the bags. he recognised it immediately (why he was able to recognise the packaging is another story, but i'm sure you can imagine), and at that moment, all that distress and anxiety he'd been picking up from her scent the past couple of days started to make sense.

he was so shocked to see the box, he was speaking before he could stop himself: "are you late?" right there in the middle of the kitchen. you bet he was mentally facepalming himself after that.

pretty mum, of course, looked surprised, and probably like she was going to burst into tears, which made Chris' heart ache.

she explained that she had to deal with a broken condom situation, that she'd taken the morning after pill, but that she wasn't sure if it had worked, either because she might've been ovulating or because of her weight.

she was, in fact, late, and with every day that passed she was getting more and more stressed. the regularity of her periods fluctuated often, but it had never taken her this long to get her period. so she got the test.

Chris encouraged her to take it, because he could almost feel how this whole thing was affecting her. he figured he would've been able to pick up any shift in her scent if she were pregnant, but with how it'd been tinted with stress these days it was hard to tell, so he genuinely felt like he was in the dark.

while they waited for the results, he joked that "if it's positive, i'll help you raise them, you know??" but when he said it, he knew he meant it. she chuckled and swatted his arm before she sighed and told him that "even then, i don't want it to be... i can't have a child right now... much less if it some guy's..." which Chris could totally respect and understand. he decided to ignore the little voice in the back of his mind that was telling him that she'd be a great mother. he didn't need to tell her that right now, and she surely didn't want to hear ir.

when the results came back negative, pretty just hugged Chris and started crying out of relief. he just tried his best to provide her with some comfort, treated her to her favourite meal and everything.

Minho:

so... when kitten explained to him what had happened he was absolutely livid. it was very obvious, too. but he was trying his absolute best to not make her any more stressed than she already was.

the story went like this: kitten had gone out to a party with her then boyfriend, had a bit too much to drink (more like, a whole lot...) and woke up the next day naked in her bf's bed, sore, just like when you are after having sex, y'know?

when she asked her bf about whether or not they had used protection, he said something along the lines of "it's okay, i pulled out". she tried to convince herself that that was a very normal answer, and that it was okay. obviously, it wasn't.

she was now late and telling Minho this story, sobbing, and he was seeing red, muttering under his breath "i'm gonna fucking kill him". kitten just asked him to not do anything, that right now she just needed his help because she was too scared to do the test on her own, and she honestly didn't trust her boyfriend enough anymore.

so Minho tried his best to put aside his need to beat this man up, and went to get that pregnancy test. the pharmacist was an old lady that made an unsolicited comment on how "you two would make such lovely children" while kitten was paying for her things, which just made her smile nervously at the woman and Minho stare blankly at her.

anyway, fast forward to them both in Minho's flat, looking at the negative pregnancy test and sighing in relief. Minho told her that "you know, Jisung would've taken care of them if this had been positive" to which kitten just replied "AS THE NURSE DURING MY ABORTION, RIGHT???" which had them both bursting out laughing.

afterwards, though, Minho couldn't keep his mouth shut and told her what he thought of her boyfriend. and that the fact that she hadn't even wanted to do this with him was sign enough that something wasn't working out.

she agreed, of course. and that was another one of her relationships down the drain.

Changbin:

we know Changbin and Autumn started getting close after she moved in. so close that one day, right after Changbin had come home, she came into the kitchen like "i still haven't gotten my period. i need to take a pregnancy test. this is eating me alive" and Changbin could definitely tell it was. she'd been laying in her nest every day, for the entire time she'd been home--unless she was eating or going to the bathroom. he could smell it on her scent, too. the distress, that was.

so he was like "okay, then. come here" and he just took her to his room, where he took a pregnancy test out from the back of his closer and handed it to her. Changbin realised just how weird that might've looked, so he just threw her a "look at the expiry date, though. that has been buried in there for a long time".

they both sat on Changbin's bed while they waited for the results, because, in her words, "i can't be waiting inside this bathroom, this is too stressful".

they just sat there for a bit, quiet, until Changbin dropped the "do you wanna be a mum?"

to which Autumn, after a bit of silence, replied "i do.... eventually... but i don't wanna have Hyunwoo's pups. that'd just be another thing he'd try to use to control me, and i just can't have that. i can't go back to that", which Changbin could understand completely.

he didn't really say anything else, just held her hand--probably the first time he had initiated physical contact after she had settled in his flat. for a brief moment, he did entertain the possibility of that test being positive. he imagined how his flat would look like full of toys and baby clothes... and, although he didn't say anything, the thought was... nice. he only wished it wouldn't have been connected to the whole Hyunwoo situation.

the negative pregnancy test had Autumn shouting the loudest "THANK GOD..." and asking Changbin "DO YOU HAVE ANY MORE?? I NEED TO MAKE SURE THIS IS A TRUE NEGATIVE". he did, in fact, have a couple more. which she took, and also came back negative.

Changbin could immediately tell her mood had lifted considerably, and that night, they just cooked a delicious meal together to celebrate.

#🍑 anon #ask #wereroomies ask #wereroomies headcanons

[suzdotranslation]

[Interview TL] Holostars 3rd Anniversary special long interview with 1st gen - Part Two

Source

The flagship raised together with the fans– What kinds of "future" that Hanasaki Miyabi, Kanade Izuru, Arurandeisu, and Rikka dreamed of? Male VTuber group "Holostars" 3rd-anniversary special interview (Part Two)

-The relationship within Holostars-

——Since everyone from the 1st generation is here, is there something you’d like to say to any Holostars members, especially on this occasion?

Arurandeisu: Ehh–! What should I say!?

Rikka: Something to say for the occasion huh...

Izuru: I do have something. At first, Miyabi was a very delicate and sensitive guy, so whenever I started pointing out something he did wrong he usually replied "I see..." with a bit of a dejected expression on him.

Miyabi: Oh yeah! (lol). It used to bother me a lot whenever someone did that to me.

Izuru: We're not that close at first, so doing that kinda stuff might've put extra pressure instead.

Miyabi: Basically yeah. Nowadays we treat it more like a regular banter though (lol).

Izuru: I often told him to go and lose some weight too nowadays–

Arurandeisu: Get a grip Miyabi-kun! You're going to make our juniors at UPROAR!! worried at this rate (lol).

Miyabi: I’m sorry–!!

Izuru: Nowadays we’re mostly chatting like regular friends easily, I think back then Miyabi once thought something along the lines of "engaging with him is no fun at all" when it comes to me (lol).

Miyabi: Ahahaha (lol).

——Ehh!?

Izuru: During our debut period, it was mostly filled with a drive to just do what we can to make this a success, but oftentimes it felt like we were just circling with no ends in sight. We then learned how to balance things eventually and nowadays, we pretty much have a clear goal in mind.

Rikka: Everyone was forcing themselves a lot that we had to take a step back in the end.

Arurandeisu: Was that (lifestyle) too harsh perhaps? (lol)

Rikka: Not really, but it's more like– you guys shouldn't force yourself that bad! kind of thing.

Izuru: That's right. Back then it was pretty much forced, whether it was someone trying to crack a joke or saying something that could be relatable... But now, we can just chat normally.

Miyabi: Yeah. We finally got to know each other well now.

Izuru: We also understand everyone's limit, just look at how much Aru-san is laughing nowadays compared to then.

Arurandeisu: I heard stuff like that a lot (lol).

Rikka: We didn't have that many group collab back then too and it made me worried about our legality as a "group" on its own. But thanks to the meet-up on that day (December 2022), it made me realize just how important it is to meet everyone else properly before anything else.

Miyabi/Arurandeisu: True that!

Izuru: There's a lot of things you'll find out by meeting them directly after all.

Arurandeisu: Huh? Now that you mentioned it Izuru-kun, you kept saying how you didn't want to go to the interview before, was it?

Izuru: (laughs)

Arurandeisu: While you were eating you kept going like "It's fine if I don't go, right". By the way,  I only said this now precisely because it's the only right time for it.

——I guess it is true in a way (lol).

Izuru: It's harder if I have to come up with an excuse after all... Recently I just did most of my work while grumbling at the side too (lol).

Rikka: I understand how that feels though… Going outside feels like a bother sometimes. There's stuff to prepare beforehand and those are just as important so we can't just ignore it.

——I guess that's right. It should be fine if we take precautions, otherwise things could get awry easily. Sometimes it would even kill your motivation.

Arurandeisu: That's true.

Izuru: Now that I recall, recently Miyabi kept saying stuff like "Glad I didn’t quit~" on every occasion he could.

Arurandeisu: Oh yeah! What's up with that?

Miyabi: That's how I truly felt after all. I'm not sure if it's because I was anxious about something though… But everyone has been with me since then anyway, so I think it's time for me to stop saying that (lol).

Izuru: This kind of lifestyle somehow pushes you to do something when you're not resting up I feel. If it wasn’t for weekends and national holidays we wouldn’t even bother taking breaks either. That's why everyone looked like they were always busy during these 3 years, though to be precise– the first 1.5 years was the most crucial of all.

Miyabi: That may be it!

Izuru: That's why I think it is pretty amazing that we could last over 3 years.

——Now that you said it, there is some truth to it.

Arurandeisu: From that alone, it sure is good that we were able to have this kind of talk during our 3rd anniversary I think.

——After hearing everyone talking about their experiences, it seems like things have been in a much better situation now huh...

Izuru: Compared to the early years, I don't think anyone is trying to force themselves as much anymore.

Miyabi: It does feel much easier mentally speaking.

Rikka: Yeah. Having to stream a lot was quite troubling after all.

Izuru: Some streams nearly every day and some others do long-hour streams, having seen it all may have given us the much-needed experience. It almost feels like we've gone through trials and errors just to find "our" own streaming style.

Arurandeisu: After doing that, we managed to present a stream style that reflected each of our personalities.

Rikka: And one thing to note is that everyone moves at a different pace, in a way it makes for a good balance too I think.

Izuru: I also think it's good to have everyone move at a different pace altogether. Now that I remembered, I did tell Aru-san something like "I think it's better to move at a slower pace so don’t force yourself out" as well.

Arurandeisu: I remember that one!

Izuru: Because you’ll eventually tire yourself like that, Aru-san. Nowadays, he has managed to find his own pace thanks to that experience I think.

Arurandeisu: I'm really glad about that as well.

Izuru: In a way, it's nice that the 9 of us don't intervene with each other’s activity as much. We always gather around when we have to anyway, I think that itself sets off a good balance between ourselves.

Arurandeisu: In a way it's like respecting each other's solo activity huh...

Izuru: Not to make a comparison, but this kind of relationship that each Holostars members have toward each other is less common among others, I think.

Arurandeisu: I get what you mean. This is just my own opinion but I do think we're still getting along despite that.

Izuru: As more people join, having a clique formed inside it is mostly unavoidable. But for Holostars, it almost feels like there's no distance between us all.

Rikka: And I feel like everyone also has a soft spot. Like making sure we wouldn't stream over each other and such (lol)

Izuru: And even if we did, most would say stuff like "Sorry!!" and all (lol).

Miyabi: We casually chat with each other using emotes/stickers (on Discord) as well.

Arurandeisu: Though we don't appear as close on-screen, we care about each other a lot off-screen, to be honest.

Izuru: That's the sentiment that applies to everyone right? The same goes for UPROAR!!'s members as well.

-First-hand experience at the 3rd-anniversary event!?-

——Let's move to the last topic of this interview, the 3rd-anniversary event! Regarding the event that will be held on June 26th, can you explain what kind of event would it be?

Rikka: It will mostly feature 3D variety entertainment which will be a different experience compared to our previous events. To be honest, we rarely do this kind of event, to say the least.

Miyabi: You're right, we rarely do something similar.

Izuru: I guess being able to meet everyone in a "venue" almost "directly" would excite most people. Since the situation around has started to lighten up as well, it would be nice if this type of event could become something of a main among others.

Miyabi: It's always nice to be able to meet our fans be it on-site or stream after all.

Rikka: Besides meeting via an in-site venue, I think there's also a different kind of experience you can get through online meet-ups. Not only by watching, but we can also communicate through actions and other things.

Izuru: We'll be having in-site and livestream comment participation as well, so there are various ways to get the audience involved in the event.

Arurandeisu: That's right. Whether you were attending in person or watching through a live stream, all of us will be able to enjoy the events together! In a way, this event will be a joyful one for everyone involved!

Miyabi: Compared to our previous events, it's nice that we were able to have an event where our fans are actively "involved" in it.

Izuru: In a way, it will be our first-hand experience, right!?

——Ohh!

Arurandeisu: I hope everyone will be looking forward to it as much now.

-What does "Holostars" mean for everyone?-

——With the 3rd anniversary getting closer, if there's anyone who has something they like to challenge, a new goal, or perhaps a new dream– please let us know!

Miyabi: Maybe not exactly a "dream", but I’ve been uploading vlog-style videos recently, not a normal type of vlog but one that makes use of my VTuber self. For now, I hope I can keep doing something like this for a while. Also considering that Cover Corp. will surely continue to expand themselves, I'd like to attempt things that aren't done by many VTubers, starting with the 3rd anniversary, I'd like to challenge the limit of VTubers and try out many new things in the future.

——I've watched several of the videos already, and it almost feels like we're being taken on a trip together, it was a satisfying experience.

Miyabi: Thank you so much! I still have some videos to be uploaded soon, so I hope you can look forward to those as well.

Arurandeisu: You did go to a lot of places huh... Trying out new genres of activities is a pretty good dream to have.

Miyabi: I'd like to be the pioneer for a one-of-a-kind genre myself!

——How exciting. We will be looking forward to your future activities! How about Izuru-san?

Izuru: To be honest, I'm in the middle of tidying up some "stuff" right now...

All: Tidying up "stuff"!?

Izuru: It's probably not the kind that everyone initially thought about to be honest (lol).

——Please do elaborate!

Izuru: I was busy taking care of my moving process mostly. Personally, it would be nice if I could make content out of my outdoor activities I guess. Regarding my dream, I'd like to sing in a place where being a VTuber doesn’t matter much. I think it would also help more aspiring VTubers to appear in various media easily. Like doing anime theme songs and such.

Arurandeisu: Oh–!

Izuru: Also we rarely have TV broadcast appearances, so I thought I'd like to try it as well if possible. Lastly, I hope to continue my activity for as long as I can!

Arurandeisu: I share a similar dream with Izuru-kun, but since I like doing 3D streams I'd like to make a TV appearance while utilizing my 3D body. Izuru-kun would be focusing on the music side but as for me, I'd like to use my 3D appearance to go over the limit of the wide web through TV broadcasting. I feel like it would be nice if I could do my activities in a different and much bigger place possible.

——Maybe in the future, you will be the host of your own TV program perhaps...?

Arurandeisu: Talking about the bigger scale already!?

All: (laughs)

Arurandeisu: Though it would be nice if I have something like that in the future, for now, I'd like to focus on what's ahead as I try to broaden my reach and work myself toward that goal.

——It might be interesting to see what 3D Arurandeisu-san will come up with in the future! How about you, Rikka-san?

Rikka: Rather than prefacing myself as a "Vtuber" entity, I'd like to be known as someone who does music as normal people do. "This person makes music huh–", and "So this is what Holostars is about–" are among many comments I'd like to hear from people once Holostars are more known to the public, and I hope it will come to a point where it's more normalized to know about us.

Arurandeisu: How cool~!

Rikka: Once Holostars has spread its popularity, we can look back and go "We really done did it huh," to each other.

Izuru: You're right. It would be nice if Holostars became as popular as a known movie. Being able to be accepted widely for a long years must've been nice.

Rikka: I think everyone had the same thought, that is why we're all doing what we can now.

Miyabi: Yeah!

Arurandeisu: We're gonna get bigger soon surely~!!!

——That makes us excited to cheer for you guys as well...! Our last question is a big one but if it's alright… Please let us know what "Holostars" means for each of you.

Rikka: Wow it's like a contest of passion (lol).

Arurandeisu: So, you guys wanna say it together or–?

Miyabi: Sounds nice~!

Izuru: We'll say it in the count of three then?

Arurandeisu: Let's do that then. 1... 2... "What is Holostars to you?" and 3–!

All: (incomprehensible)!

Arurandeisu: Wait a minute, is everyone saying different things!? What did you say Miyabi?

Miyabi: Club activities!

(Everyone laughed together)

Arurandeisu: But why!?

Miyabi: I mean, it does feel like we're training to try reaching the national-scale competition together...

Izuru: That sure is Miyabi-like.

Rikka: For me, my answer is "family".

Izuru: Me too!

Arurandeisu: I said the same too!

Miyabi/Izuru: Absolutely not! It was "buddies"!

Arurandeisu: Ahhh~~~!

All: (laughs)

Izuru: For now, we have Miyabi with "club activities", me and Rikka's "family" and Arurandeisu's "Buddies".

Rikka: I guess we can sort the other two into "family" in a way.

Arurandeisu: We're like a group of people being bounded by an invisible string of bonds it seems.

——Thank you very much for your time, as a closing remark please tell us your message to everyone looking forward to the 3rd anniversary and those reading this article... Let's start from Hanasaki Miyabi-san!

Miyabi: Holostars will be hitting its 3rd year soon, but this is also where we will continue to grow even further. I believe we were able to do all these thanks to our listener's neverending support, and I hope even more people will check out Holostars from now on as well. Please watch over Holostars in the future too!

——Next, Kanade Izuru-san, please.

Izuru: Personally, this 3rd year also marked the 3rd start of my activity.

Arurandeisu: Whoa! How cool!

Rikka: That sounds nice!

Izuru: I would be happy if everyone continues to support us in the future, and I hope we can have fun together. We'll see you at the 3rd-anniversary event soon!

——And next, Arurandeisu-san if you would.

Arurandeisu: First off, thank you for inviting us to this opportunity.

Izuru: So serious!

Arurandeisu: I always am!

All: (laughs)

Arurandeisu: Everyone has their interpretation about what these 3 years meant for them, as for me– it's something that flashes by quickly. Within those times are numerous moments I've spent with fellow Holostars members, and alongside those who have been watching me over these past years, so it feels like these 3 years are something we all worked on together. I'm very thankful that we were able to hold this anniversary event during such important times. And during these years, I feel like Holostars had evolved much further as well. So to those who only start knowing about us or those who have been supporting us, I'd like to keep them excited for what's to come in the future.

For that, please keep supporting and watching over us from now on too! And to those going to the event, do look forward to it!

——Lastly, Rikka-san, please.

Rikka: Being happy about my fans' support is obvious, but whenever people say something like "I recently started supporting you!" it makes me really happy as well. I always welcome anyone to check us out anytime, and since you can catch us easily through streams or events, it's alright to watch us comfortably and casually as it makes me just as happy. I may say it like it’s an important thing but really, I'm not exaggerating or anything!

Miyabi/Izuru/Arurandeisu: Ahahaha (lol).

Rikka: "So there are streamers like this too huh, maybe I'll check them out", even things like that are just as valid. Trust me. And of course, I'll be doing my best so as not to bore our current fans too, so please look over us in the future too. With that said, let us meet at the 3rd-anniversary event and stream!

——Thank you very much, everyone!

#topic: holostars #type: interviews

[fitrahgolden]

Should You Need Me: 12 - Love me, say hell yes

Kate laid on top of Anthony on the couch in his living room. He'd picked her up from school after stopping by hers to get Newton. It was their routine now. They spent every night together, so at some point during the day, they'd decide at whose place they would be that night, and Anthony would pick Kate up from work, with Newton if they were going to his, without Newton if they were going to hers.

This evening, he cooked them dinner after they came inside from their walk with Newton. Anthony cooking was also becoming a regular part of their routine, ever since Kaveri and Mary gave him several informal cooking lessons during Kate's recovery. Sometimes, she'd cook with him. Tonight, she was happy to let Anthony take care of it. Thankfully, he didn't seem to mind.

Dinner was quiet, and Kate could tell Anthony was concerned, but he didn't say anything. She did the washing up while Anthony sketched at his desk in the corner of the living room.

By the time they were relaxing on the couch, Anthony lazily massaging Kate's back while she buried her face in his neck, Anthony's patience had apparently run out.

"Kate?"

"Hmm?"

"Is something wrong?"

Kate sighed and shifted so she could speak more clearly.

"Um… No, not wrong, exactly."

"Then what is it, exactly?"

Kate sat up, so Anthony did the same. She was looking down at her hands until Anthony cupped her cheek and made her look at him. He said nothing. He didn't need to. The expression on his face was enough to urge her to let it out. She knew he wouldn't let it go. He never let anything slide for very long. He turned his hand to rub the back of it against her cheek when Kate started to speak.

"It's getting close to the time when it would have happened."

Anthony slightly squinted his eyes at her before realisation dawned on his face. "The wedding."

"Right."

"Right," Anthony echoed softly, nodding.

"I know I shouldn't, I can't help but think… What if I'd ignored my gut? What if I had gone through with it and… and then I met you in a different way?" Saying it outloud relieved some of the weight that had been on her chest for a few days, but she found herself holding her breath as she studied Anthony's face. He was giving nothing away. 

"Well," he finally said, "I can tell you what I would have done."

Kate raised her eyebrows at him. "What would you have done?"

"Run in the other direction and never look back." His laugh was humourless. Kate furrowed her eyebrows. Anthony sighed and kissed her forehead. 

"I'm not that good of a guy, Kate. If you were married, if I'm being completely honest, it's pretty unlikely that I would have been able to leave you alone. I know I should say I'd respect your marriage, respect Tom. But I probably wouldn't have." Anthony continued while Kate tried to form a response. "It wouldn't have mattered, baby.  You're a better person than me. You wouldn't have allowed it. I wouldn't have gotten anywhere with you." He rubbed her bottom lip. 

Kate didn't know how long she stared at him before she spoke. 

"Why do you do that?"

"Why do I do what, sweetheart?"

"You're always saying you aren't a good guy or that everyone's better than you or something like that. Why?"

Anthony shrugged. "Because it's true," he answered matter-of-factly.

"Bullshit."

"You sound like me," he laughed.

"I suppose that was inevitable, wasn't it?"

"Yeah," Anthony muttered weakly as he looked away from Kate, down at the floor. "I'm a bad influence."

"See? You can't help yourself. You do it all the time. Why?"

Anthony ran a hand over his face. "It's easy, I guess. After my dad died, my life sort of fractured in two. On the one hand, I had to take care of two babies, my mum, to whom I think I was just a reminder of what she had lost, and my other siblings, who were grieving and had no interest in their older brother suddenly being in charge of them. It was fucking impossible to navigate. So, I tried my best, which was never enough–"

"Anthony…"

"It wasn't, Kate. There was no way it could have been. Anyway, on the other hand, whenever I had time to myself, once Hy was sleeping through the night and I finally trusted Ben with her and Greg, I spent that time…not being very good to myself. I drank too much. I was always going out, getting no sleep. Going home with any woman who would have me. All the while, during the day, I would be back to taking care of my family, most of whom didn't want me taking care of them. I guess not taking care of myself stopped being a problem when I decided I wasn't worth being taken care of. It made everything easier."

Kate took both Anthony's hands in hers.

"Things got better, obviously. Mum came back to us, the older kids didn't need me anymore. I had somehow managed everything dad left us well enough that Mum could easily take over. And I found a career that had nothing to do with my father's legacy, which felt really good. But I suppose I never got around to reevaluating my self image. I haven't thought about it. Until just now."

Kate leaned forward and kissed Anthony sweetly, taking his face in her hands. She pulled back, but kept their faces close. "Well… It's time you reevaluated. Because, frankly, I hate the way you talk about yourself. You've got it all wrong."

"Is that so?" Anthony's eyes were glassy. 

"It is. You're a good person, Anthony Bridgerton."

He said nothing, just cleared his throat.

"Do you believe me?" Kate implored.

"I want to."

Kate kissed him again, harder, with more meaning behind it. "Don't I take care of you?" she whispered.

"Yeah." His voice was rough. "You take really good care of me, Kate." A tear rolled down his face. Kate kissed it away.

"Do you think I would do that if you weren't worth it?"

When Anthony didn't answer, she put their foreheads together. "Do you?"

He shook his head.

"So, you need to take care of yourself, too. So you can see yourself the way I see you. The way you really are. OK?"

"OK."

"Good. I love you, Anthony."

"Fuck, I love you, too. So much it hurts sometimes."

Kate kissed Anthony a fourth time. This time, Anthony took over, seemingly pouring all the feelings she'd brought to the surface back into her. He leaned forward and pressed her into the couch cushions. When they broke apart to breathe, Anthony nuzzled her nose. 

"I don't deserve you."

Kate playfully smacked his back. "That's the kind of shit that needs to stop," she giggled.

"Got it. I have something I’ve been wanting to say, too."

“Oh?”

“This going back and forth between yours and mine every night is exhausting, isn’t it? Move in with me already.”

“...Yeah, OK.”

#bridgerton #anthony x kate #kanthony #kate and anthony #kate x anthony #kate bridgerton #kate sharma #kate sheffield #anthony and kate #anthony bridgerton #kanthony fanfic #kanthony fanfiction #kathony fanfic #kathony fic #kathony #kathani bridgerton #kathani sharma #lord bridgerton #lady bridgerton #viscount bridgerton #viscountess bridgerton #the viscount who loved me #bridgerton fic #bridgerton fanfiction #should you need me au #should you need me

[monsterrae1]

''you and me. tomorrow, 7pm.''

If you're down?

Chloe, my beloved, thank you for requesting ✨

(Also this one is a little bartender!Buck one)

*

Eddie hadn’t meant to become a regular at the bar, it just, after one bad shift he’d seen it while he was mindlessly driving through town and figured one drink could be good to get his mind off things, and then he got to talk to the barman, a gorgeous blond named Buck, and it felt like some weight had been taking off his chest afterwards, a soft smile finding it’s way to his lips every time he thought about the way the other man had laughed at Eddie’s dry comments, and how it had been a bright spot after a gloomy day.

After that, more often than not, when he had a chance and Chris was with Shannon for the night, he found himself going back. Buck always there to welcome him with a cool beer and a warm smile.

“You and me. Tomorrow. 7 PM” a dude that could only be described as a fuckboy said to a girl that was drinking alone at the bar, at which she answered by laughing at his face and turning her back on him, even Eddie had to cringe a little at the rejection, while Buck only shook his head a couple of times from where he was, unnecessarily, cleaning the bar in front of Eddie.

“He does that about twice a night, once a week” Buck explained, quickly switching Eddie’s empty beer for a new one.

“Has it ever worked?” Eddie asked, genuinely curious, “Statistically speaking, it must’ve, right?” He added when Buck raised an eyebrow at him.

“First, you’re horrible at math, Second, I don’t think so? Not with anyone I’ve seen him try, it’d probably work better with someone he’d know better? Not for a first date, that’s for sure”

Eddie hummed and took a sip of his beer, it’ll probably be his last before switching out to water, he didn’t have plans to go home soon, but he still had to drive.

“So, what you’re saying is that if I said to you those exact same words, you’d say yes?”

Buck blushed and Eddie smiled, they’d been toying with that line a lot lately, Buck used to fake flirt with him at the beginning, then as they got to know each other he stopped, only to do it again a few months in, this time with a fearful look on his eyes, like he’d thought Eddie would reject him; but Eddie had liked it, Eddie had fallen so hard and so fast for Buck that it had scared him a little, but after a little push from his coworkers – and weirdly his ex-wife – he was starting to gather his nerves to finally actually ask him out.

Buck hummed after a while and answered “I don’t know, I guess we’ll have to wait and see”

Eddie laughed and then let Buck go to serve the drinks that had gathered while they were talking.

The bar got busy, as it often did around that time at night, so Eddie only saw glimpses of Buck for a while as he rushed to serve one drink after the other, and Eddie enjoyed watching him work, smile at other patrons and the way he sticked his tongue out a little bit when he focused on making the mixture for the drinks, even when he showed off a little and did tricks while making drinks, Eddie enjoyed watching it all, but specially when he took one look around the bar, found he had nothing more to do at the moment and made his way back to Eddie, at the end of the bar.

“What you’ve got for me? C’mon, I’ve been hella busy”

Eddie laughed and then told him all the gossip he had gather in the time they were apart, this was part of their routine as well, Eddie was naturally observant, so he usually ended up gathering funny stories here and there, he told Buck of the guy who spend an hour buying drinks for a girl only for the girl to turn out to be his cousin, and the bachelorette party that was trying to decide if the bride should dye her hair before the wedding.

“What was the veridic on that one?” Buck asked, gathering near by empty glasses, Eddie shrugged.

“Didn’t hear it, but I was about to vote that she shouldn’t, like, what if 10 years from now she hates it?”

After the second rush of the night, Eddie decided to wish Buck good night and leave, it was nearing 1AM and he knew Buck had to close bar soon, and that usually signified the end of their night, so he paid for his two beers and his mocktails, waved goodbye to Buck with a promise to see him soon and then left the bar.

It was a red light, 20 minutes away from the bar, when it hit him, he had no idea what he was waiting for, Buck was certainly open to move their relationship to something real, Eddie wanted him so badly it was starting to get embarrassing, why not do something about it already. Without thinking it twice, he turned around and drove back, hoping to be able to catch Buck before he left for the night.

“Eddie?” Buck said in a tired and confused way when he saw Eddie resting against his jeep, trying to catch his breath.

“Hey”

“Did you forget something?” He tilted his head like a confused puppy, Eddie wished he didn’t find it as adorable as he did.

“I did”

“Okay?”

“It’s just… so” He took a deep breath and smiled at him, hoping he wasn’t wrong “You and me, tomorrow, 7PM?”

Buck looked at him for a moment, tiredness suddenly gone, his eyes scanned Eddie, looking for something, probably wondering if this was a joke, but Eddie only stared back and refused to let his smile disappear.

“Are you serious?” Buck finally asked in a small shy voice “Because if you’re joking Eddie, I wouldn’t… I couldn’t”

“Hey, no” He took a step closer to him and took his hands on his, Buck’s shoulders instantly relaxing to his touch “I mean it, I’ve meant to ask for a while now, I was just, I don’t know, not ready yet”

“And you’re now?” Eddie responded in a quick nod, Buck smiled “Then yes, you and me, tomorrow, 7pm” he said before closing the rest of the distance between them and kissing Eddie slowly.

“Okay, maybe no tomorrow because I have a shift, but soon”

Buck laughed and kissed Eddie again to shut him up, Eddie couldn’t find it in him to complain.

It's the weekend send me a prompt!

You can find other tumblr prompts here

#queerdiazsupremacy #mutuals my beloved #I hope you like it! #thank you again for always requesting #my writing #buddie #buddie fic

[stingslikeabee]

[ lay ]  –  for the sender’s muse to lay next to the receiver and lay their hand in the receiver muses’ hand.

the intimacy of hands . accepting

It was not the sound of footsteps that alerted Melissa to Daigo’s arrival, but the way the the floorboards under her body shifted ever so slightly as they reacted to the chairman’s moving weight over them. Given the fact that the yakuza had removed his shoes outside and his socks barely made any noise over the polished floor, he would have succeeded in surprising his wife if she hadn’t been ready to become one with the dojo floor by the time he arrived.

Who knew training like that would be so exhaustive - watching Daigo going about his morning runs and overall gym regimen made it look easy. Melissa, on the other hand... The cheerleader years were long behind her, not to mention regular PE classes. Picking up a new hobby - and one so physical at that - while being close to her 40s was not making it any easier.

“Okamura-san told me you’d be here,” Daigo said when he stopped right by Melissa’s head - she was laying on the floor on her back, and she had been calmly enjoying the sound of her own breathing coming back to normal, as well as the intricate woodwork of the Tojo clan dojo ceiling. Once her daily practice with the wooden katanas had finished, she lacked the energy to go anywhere and do anything that wasn’t just merely existing and contemplating her choices - and she remained behind on the empty space, unceremoniously resting on the floor in her gym clothes that looked so strangely out of place in such a secular environment.

It was also very funny to look at Daigo when she was on the floor and he remained standing - he was even more of a giant from that perspective, and his smile looked like a frown considering how she was looking at him - but Melissa grinned in return at any rate, although it was undoubtedly tired and carrying an amused edge to it.

“Azumi-chan sounds like my mom these days. She knows my schedule better than I do,” Melissa confessed, but it was hardly a complaint - the former hostess was immensely grateful for the help provided by her friend while she grew accustomed to the role of being the first lady of the Tojo. It wasn’t exactly as if they had guidelines for a case such as hers - not many chairmen married, and even few made the effort to integrate their wives to the best of their abilities. Luckily, Daigo’s inner circle was just as dedicated as balancing the clan’s traditions and expectations with Melissa’s well-being.

“She did mention you hadn’t gone inside for a shower, so the dojo was my best guess for finding you,” Daigo’s smile grew into a full-blown grin then, although the way he raised an eyebrow and appeared to be comically serious for a second made his wife snicker from the ground, “May I join you?”

“Of course - this is the best place for a nap in all headquarters, anata,” Melissa said while Daigo moved again, watching him out of the corner of his eyes - he sat down and aligned the position of his head with hers, so they were indeed side by side as if they were laying on their bed at home. The only difference is that the dojo floor was hard and unforgiving, but these were things that the ex-hostess’ exhausted body had stopped caring about. The chairman then took advantage of their closeness, slipping a hand into hers; Melissa immediately reacted to it, and linked their digits together.

“I can’t say I’ve ever been here before... Like this,” Daigo clarified; there wasn’t a place of the headquarters he hadn’t visited, particularly after becoming chairman. But just laying on the floor of their local dojo did seem like a weird choice for the leader of the clan, particularly when he was fond of such expensive items of clothing and with a ridiculously busy schedule - surely his free time would be best spent elsewhere than just admiring the architecture there, “It is quiet.”

“Only until your staff comes looking for you - or me - and some heated debate sparks.”

The chairman offered Melissa a look that had her laughing as a result, something she immediately regretted - it made her abs hurt, and the sounds that followed were comically mixed and denouncing both pain and amusement. Daigo chuckled at the sight, softly caressing the back of his wife’s hand with a thumb in a supporting gesture, turning his head to take a better look at Melissa.

“Do you regret doing any of this?”

“Kendo classes with Junichiro everyday? Probably,” she responded once it was possible for the former hostess to speak normally again, adapting her position on the floor so whatever energy had been restored was used for her to crawl and place a tender kiss over his nose, “Marrying you? Never.”

#dojimakaichou #v: Yakuza ; first lady of the Tojo AU #intimacy of hands #replied #I recognize this is the second Daigo thing #I use the dojo for #but I can't help it's a neat place 8) #(reminds me of Yayoi too)

[arfharahman]

Navigating Life After Pregnancy: The Challenges of Homelessness

In my last post I talked about pregnancy, but what comes after that? Raising a child is a challenging and rewarding experience, but it can also be expensive and time-consuming. After giving birth, a mother's life often revolves around her child, as she is responsible for making sure the child is well-fed, healthy, and happy. This involves buying and preparing healthy meals, changing diapers, and providing regular baths and other forms of hygiene. When my nephew was born I was helping my brother buy baby supplies, and I remember my eyes widening when I saw the total on the receipt because I didn’t know the costs of babies. Additionally, there was a lot of stuff that we bought for the comfort of my sister-in-law like nipple butter or raspberry tea that I don’t think are items that women experiencing homelessness can even think about. In a future post I will cover self care and mental health. The well-being of a mother greatly impacts the care that they are able to provide their child.

Continuing from my last post about abusive relationships, women who experience unplanned pregnancies while in abusive relationships may face difficult challenges when it comes to custody and parental roles. Because they are often dependent on their partners for financial support, they may find it difficult to leave the relationship and establish a stable home for their child. This can lead to a situation where the abusive partner has significant control over the mother and child, even after the birth of the baby. In some cases, this can lead to the abusive partner being awarded custody of the child, which can put the mother and child at further risk of harm. For the safety of the child, the mother oftentimes will try to get the child out of the domestic abuse situation. This could be by sending the child to live with her family or friends (Croney, 2019). In other cases, Children Protection Services (CPS) get involved. Rodriguez and Shinn (2016) discuss the great link between CPS and homelessness, and concluded that unsubstantiated reports of neglect or abuse are early indications for women and children who enter homelessness. Many factors impact the development of a child, especially in their sensitive and critical growth periods (infancy through adolescence). Anything the child endures during this time greatly shapes the way they see the world. Being exposed to abuse, neglect, violence or constantly moving around can cause trauma for the child which will impact them later in life and could lead to mental health issues or substance abuse, which in turn could lead to risk for housing insecurity- like a continuous cycle.

I’ve seen individuals who grew up with mansion-like homes, but would have fights constantly within their families, especially the parents. Though they weren’t experiencing homelessness, the impact of their familial trauma has had a significant impact on their well being. Azim (2018) refers to domestic abuse and homelessness amongst other events as a chain- they all happen together. I can’t imagine bearing the weight of not having a stable home while also dealing with violence or insufficient food, and then working through that in later years. I started this blog post with the intention of focusing on how mothers raise children on the streets or in shelters but I got to learn about and share what comes even before that.

#homelessness #homeless youth #trauma #domestic violent relationships #growth and development #mental health

[destielfanfic]

from the inbox, #5

Here’s some quick answers to asks about canon verse fics. The usual disclaimer applies - our blog transitioned to archive in January 2018, during season 13, and our new fic recs drastically decreased. 

Do you have any long destiel fics (>80k)? Set after season 15 would be preferable, but anything 12-15 will do. I’m literally desperate, thanks!

Tags to check out from our tags page - 

#superepic  (100,000+ wc), 

#su (supernatural universe)

#sr:su (submitted recs, supernatural universe)

our rec list of super long fics  Move Aside Tolstoy has canon verse recs

We also have season tags on our Tags Page, but due to technical problems season 12 is the last one to have a tag. As a last resort, check out our side blog @destiel-fic-rec-lists for more recent recs made by other destiel fans!

xxx

Do y’all know about any Destiel fics where Castiel is with the boys from the very beginning?

Fics like that would be on our #pre season 4 tag and #time travel tag! Here’s short list of fics that have Cas joining Dean and Sam before season 4. But definitely check out the tags, there’s more fics with slightly different setups.

A Turn of the Earth by microcomets

Among the Wreck by lady_deathangel

Castiel Rising by phate-phoenix

Equinox by luchia13 Face to Face with the Skies by quiddative

Good One’s Gonna Be by remmyme

Outrun My Gun by misachan

The Roman Thing by takadainmate

So Says The Sword by komodobits

The Soul Piece by cloudyjenn

xxx

would you be able to recommend any good family fics with claire? i just need parental destiel and sam. but no AU!! canon and canon divergent would be preferable 🥺🙏🏼 also any family fics with jack? thank you!!!

Check out our #kid fic tag and #Claire tag. Fair warning, there’s not much canon verse fics with Claire or Jack. Your best bet for parental destiel with teenage Claire and Emma is  His Fucking Kids Verse by 8sword. Redemption Road has a whole chapter that can be read alone, 40k, about Cas visiting Amelia and Claire. 

Hello! I was just wondering if you had any fics where the men of letters were not entirely killed off or where Sam and Dean were raised as men of letters the whole time? I understand if not but thank you anyways!

There’s not much to rec from our blog resources, and what I have has Cas as a member of MoL. Check out  The Mensch by Aerlalaith,  Silver and Cold by superhoney and  Love Bites by MalMuses (previously recced here)

New rec on the blog! 

Shot Through The Heart series by peanutbutterjelly-pie (Aleakim) [NC-17, 252,000 word count, 3 works]

Dean is a hunter. Castiel is a Man of Letters. And even though they have to work together on a regular basis, there is not much sympathy between them. Castiel thinks Dean too brash and reckless while Dean in return sees nothing more in the other man than a rude asshole with an obsessive love for books and a truly terrible fashion sense. But fate clearly has a funny way of throwing these two together over and over again.

xxx

hi! this is a very specific request, but do you have any fics where dean wears cas's trench coat? i recently got a weighted blanket and immediately my brain went to dean feeling soft and warm in cas's trench coat asdfghjkl;lkjhg

Alas, I have never encountered such fic. Feel free to rec me one!

#asks #destiel #from the inbox #su

[mae-gi-writes]

Once Again (PT.I) | Iwaizumi Hajime (Haikyu!)

ONCE AGAIN : PART ONE 

Summary:  Iwaizumi’s broken marriage results in his five-year-old son trying to match him up with his primary school teacher, whom he thinks will make a wonderful replacement for a mother. 

Genre: fluff, slight angst, f!reader x dad! Iwaizumi 

A/N: There will be 2 or 3 parts of this oneshot! Depending on how long I feel like writing. Thanks for checking it out and stopping by! Let’s dive into some Iwa moments :,)

NEXT PART --> 

---

“What’s your return policy on rings?” 

The saleswoman smiles sympathetically behind the counter. That stupid sympathetic smile he’s been getting for weeks on end now. And it never stops; with his co-workers, with his family, his friends...

Iwaizumi’s sick of it. He’s sick of having to prove that he’s doing just fine, thank you very much. When in truth, his heart is constantly being torn apart and stomped upon as is people have nothing better to do than torture him in their free time. 

“I’m sorry, but these rings have been brought more than three years ago, and our warrant only lasts for three years,” the saleswoman keeps on talking but it doesn’t matter, for Iwaizumi can already feel the anger slowly creep up through the back of his neck, can already feel the vibrating emotions clogging up his sense of judgement. 

His fists clench at his sides upon impulse, the physical pain of his nails driving into his palms enough to remind him to stay cordial. It’s not the woman’s fault, the better part of him chants, it’s not her fault at all. 

“Fine,” he manages to grovel out, barely, “thanks anyway.” 

He all but storms out of the shop while shoving the rectangular box back in his pant pocket, and though it’s been more than four months since his ugly divorce with the woman he’d hoped to share the rest of his life with, the weight of their promise hangs heavy and hot upon his thigh. 

The thing is, Iwaizumi is mad. He is seething. If one were to give him a bat, he’d probably destroy the entire town by himself. Not because she was the one that cheated, not because she was the one going behind his back numerous times a week to seek out her lover when he’d been basically driven mad between Hoisuke’s cries and the stress of call meetings scheduled back to back. 

No, he’s angry. Because how the fuck could she do this to Hoisuke? How can she break the child’s heart like that, so ruthlessly, without even thinking twice about the consequences? 

Because if there is a victim in all this, then it’s definitely Hoisuke. And not only that, Hoisuke understands that his mother has been acting strange, that she doesn’t return at regular times and that her hugs now smell of cigarette smoke with a bittertaste of alcohol. 

Iwaizumi is so caught up in anger that he almost blunders past his battered Hyundai, red and chipping away at the corners. Still, this car holds so many memories, the good and the bad ones. 

“Can’t you get a newer car? I thought your company could sponsor you,” the ghost of his wife’s voice echoes through his head, a blatant reminder of all the things she’d found wrong in his life.

“Why?” he’d tilted his head around to fix his gaze on her figure bending over the sink. The TV was playing in the background and he thanked the gods that the morning comics were taking up Hoisuke’s attention, enough to distract him from his parents’ quibbles. 

“It’s just--so old and tacky.” 

“It still works well, doesn’t it? Why change it now?” 

She’d paused, hesitated slightly before blundering on, “It’s embarrassing. My colleagues keep asking if we're poor or something."

"Who cares what your colleagues think?"

Fuck her, Iwaizumi mentally swears as he turns on the ignition. Fuck her and all her needs for a better life. As if the life they had wasn't more than enough. Pulling out into the street to join the incoming traffic, he blinks away the sudden tears accumulating at the corner of his eyes and swears once more, this time aloud, glad that Hoisuke isn't in his presence when he gets in such a foul mood.

Iwaixumi may be angry. He may be filled with pent-up rage from the memory still attached to the day he'd discovered a used condom in their bathroom trash. But that doesn't mean it hurts any less.

That doesn't mean he does not still cry into his pillow over it every night.

----

"Please don't forget to do your homework for tomorrow! We'll correct them before moving on to the next chapter," you call out to your students as excited chatter fills the air. Students rise from their seats, some calling you bye and waving as they all file out of the classroom and you can't help the small smile lingering over your lips even though your feet are killing you.

Outside, parents have already lined up to collect their kids, the chatter and bustle of people ebbing away down the corridor as you let out a soft sigh.

"Miss?"

You jolt, not realizing that one of your students stands by the table wringing his hands, "what's wrong Hoisuke? Dad's not here yet?"

He shakes his head, watery eyes blinking up at you as he raises his thumb to his lips. You stand quickly and motion him to come close until he's within reach before your hand smoothes over the back of his head, "it's okay. He's probably stuck in traffic. I'll wait with you."

It's not surprising that parents get tardy once in a while and you're all too accustomed to those slight change in plans. Thankfully, you manage to distract the young boy with some coloured crayons and a piece of paper while you dial for his father's number.

It keeps ringing. No one picks up.

You try once more, one more time after that. But still, nothing. It shifts to voicemail. You decide it's better than nothing, "hi Iwaizumi-san. This is Y/N, Hoisuke's teacher. I was just wondering what time you would be picking up Hoisuke? Please call me as soon as possible. Thank you."

You end the call only to spot Hoisuke's eyes on you, intent and impatient for you to explain, "it's okay," you tell him with a smile, "he'll be here soon. Don't worry. Do you want to keep colouring some more?"

Hoisuke nods, to which your smile widens. It's those special moments, where your shyest students express themselves, that your chest warms with sympathy and affection. You've been there, you know how it feels like not to be heard, and you appreciate every interaction they offer you.

Being a primary school teacher is tough, especially since it wasn't in your original plans. But the satisfaction of bringing up some of the world's future leaders cancelled out all the late nights correcting tests and scrambled weekends trying to finish off as many worksheets as you possibly could for the coming week. You can’t complain, not when you have a decent salary that keeps bread on the table and a roof over your head.

A tug on your sleeve brings you back to Hoisuke looking up at you, a scribbled drawing of what seems to be of him and his dad. You feel yourself chuckling at how he's drawn both their hair in brown spikes, erratically extravagant and yet so close to reality.

"That's really good, Hoisuke!" You beam down at him, "what do you and your dad do on weekends?"

He shrugs shyly, head averted to the side so that there's no need for eye contact. And in the shyest voice he can muster up, he says:

"Daddy brings me...to see Mama," Hoisuke's words are barely above a mumble, "they live in different houses. They can't live together anymore."

Uneasiness squeeses in your stomach, followed by sympathy for this soft-hearted boy. You had overheard some of your colleagues giggling about Hoisuke's dad being attractive and single -- a combo that teachers adore -- but that doesn't mean that the weight of his words don't lay heavy on your own conscience.

"Do you miss your Mama a lot?" You ask him softly. Unconsciously, your hand finds a way to smooth over his head.

The boy doesn't pull away. Instead, he nods, "sometimes. But it is better this way. Daddy smiles more now. And there's no one to shout and make noise."

"Are you happy, Hoisuke? With your dad?"

He nods and to your amazement grins, "daddy is funny. He tells me not to swear but when he burns the food he always swears. And then he says to shush and tells me to close my ears. He also makes me pancakes every Saturday morning before I go see Mama."

Right on cue, a figure bursts through the open classroom door and both your heads snap to see a drenched, older version of Hoisuke who looks like he just finished running a marathon.

"I'm--" he wheezes, causing you to stand in alarm and concern, "I'm sorry I'm--so late--"

"Daddy, you forgot me again!" Comes Hoisuke's statement as you ask Iwaizumi if he's okay. He shakes off your worry with a flick of his hand and a shake of his head, "I'm fine. Sorry-- there's a nasty rain outside--"

"It's okay," you reassure him as Hoisuke practically barrels into his father and almosy knocks him off his feet.

"Sorry Hoisuke," you watch Iwaizumi's hardened features soften ever so slightly as he ruffles his son's hair. Then, looking back up at you as you bring over Hoisuke's backpack, he says, "thank you. For looking after him."

"It's no problem, honestly. We had fun didn't we?" You grin down at your student and are delighted to find Hoisuke grinning back up at you, albeit shyly, "I put his homework in his diary. He'll need to complete it for tomorrow so that he doesn't fall behind in class."

His father nods, "alright. Thanks."

"Daddy, your hair looks atrocious," Hoisuke says, tugging onto his shirt.

"Atrocious huh?" Iwazumi's eyebrow rise, "someone was listening in their English class today."

"Atrocious means that it looks bad. Daddy, your hair looks bad."

"Thanks buddy, I knew that. Now say bye to Miss Y/N."

"Bye bye, miss Y/N," Hoisuke says, wriggling his short arm through the air as you wave back with a giggle. His father nods at you in silent thanks, makes a move to walk out of the class, only to swivel back to you just as you're collecting your bag.

"Uhm," he clears his throat, causing you to jump slightly, "yes?" You blink back at him and try hard not to stare at the way his white shirt clings to his toned chest, translucent from the rain.

"Do you need a ride?"

-----

You've known Iwaizumi since high school. Having graduated just two years later than he did, his reputation had preceded him throughout the school halls even though you'd never actually had any face to face interaction with the said man. Iwaizumi doesn't know this of course and you are adamant about keeping it a secret. But that plan seems to be unraveling before your very eyes the moment your small talk turns towards your academic history.

"You're from Aoba Johsai?" His surprised glance doesn't escape your notice, especially since that's the most reaction you've gotten out of him.

"Yeah," your eyes stay glued to the row of cars crawling through the motorway, "I remember you went there too, right?"

"How'd you know?"

"You were Aoba's ace volleyball player. Everyone knew who you were."

His silence answers you and for a moment, you fear that you might have offended him. Not that it's something to be offended about.

Before you try to scratch your brain for some kind of response -- any response -- Hoisuke pipes up from the back seat, "Daddy was famous back when he was in high school. He hit the ball like kapow! And jumped so high he can touch the sky."

"Oh? Have you seen him on camera?" You turn slightly, a small smile dangling off your lips at how adorably amazed and excited Hoisuke seems to be.

"Yeah! His spikes are so awesome! It goes pow! And it zooms! Like a cannon ball!"

You burst out laughing, "yes, your father was amazing whenever he was on the court. Every girl in our class had a crush on him."

"What's a crush?"

"Hmm, you know when you really like someone. You like like them, you want to be together with them. Like, girlfriend and boyfriend."

"Oh," Hoisuke draws out, "did you really like daddy too?"

"Yeah I did."

"What?" Iwaizumi almost chokes on his own spit at the same time traffic eases and you're glad for the distraction, for you're certain there's a scattering of colour upon your cheeks.

"Do you really like him now?" Hoisuke persists, undoubtly untouched by the embarrassment taking over his father's features and you swear that more than ever, you want to laugh at how flustered Iwaizumi looks.

You decide to play nice though and instead turn to wink at your student, "that's a secret for me to keep."

You don't have to look twice to know that the man beside you is bursting into hot flames.

-----

"Did you really like Mama before you started living separately?"

Iwaizumi swears that he's never felt so uncomfortable in his life. Not when he's had to state that he was divorced, not when he had to sign divorce papers half drunk off his ass. Not even when he'd raged after his said ex-wife after finding a tie that wasn't his own in his laundry pile.

Now is probably a good definition of what uncomfortable means.

"You're not gonna let me off the hook are you?" He steals a glance at Hoisuke from over his shoulder while stirring the vegetable curry, "yes, I really liked your mother."

"Did she?"

The word 'yes' almost slips past his mouth. Except, he isn't sure whether that's the truth and decides to shoot back with, "have you finished your homework, Hoisuke? You know it's due tomorrow. Miss Y/N said so."

"Do you really like miss Y/N?"

"What?" Iwaizumi frowns, "well--no. Not like that."

"Why?" His son whines, "I really really like Miss Y/N. She's nice to me and she never shouts. And she bakes good cookies!"

"How'd you know that?" Iwaizumi leans over to taste a bit of the sauce. Not bad, he thinks and mentally pats himself on the back. A few weeks ago, he would've probably burnt the entire house down.

"Because she bakes them every month. Every time we finish a test."

"That's nice of her."

"Yes," there's a pause as the man fishes out a bowl in which to serve the curry, "daddy, what do you do when you really like someone? Do you marry them like you and Mama did?"

"Uh--yeah. Sure."

"Then does that mean I need to marry Miss Y/N if I really like her?"

"Yup."

"Daddy!"

Iwaizumi bursts out laughing. Turning off the stovetop and bringing the bowl over to the dining table, he reaches out to ruffle his son's hair with a grin, "you're the one who has a crush on miss Y/N."

"She's too old for me Daddy," grumbles Hoisuke while scooping out two rice bowls as the pair sit down for dinner, "but she'll be good for you."

"Not that simple, buddy," Iwaizumi says as he dumps two spoonfuls of curry into his son's bowl, before doing the same with his own, "there's a difference between like and love."

A frown falls over his son's face, so like his own that Iwaizumi can't help but chuckle, "what is the difference?"

"Well, when you really like someone, you might want to get to know them better. Or play with them andd shit--stuff like that. When you love someone, it's..." he hesitates, "it's different."

"Why?"

There goes that innocent question that punctures his chesy a little too deeply. The brown-haired man steadies his gaze upon the calendar fixed on the wall opposite him as he answers with:

"When you love someone, you want to live with them. You want to start a family with them. Their happiness," his brown orbs switch back to his son's focused attention, "their happiness is all that matters."

Maybe it's the fact that he's not used to speaking so truthfully about such things. Maybe it's just Hoisuke who suddenly realizes the layers hidden beneath his father's poker-faced exterior. But for a moment, neither of them speak, as if bewitched by a silencing spell if broken by the scraping of cutlery against porcelain.

"Did you love mama?"

Hoisuke's voice is small, fragile. So fragile that Iwaizumi pauses just as his spoon reaches his mouth, glancing over at his boy. His beautiful boy.

"Yeah."

Another short pause. "Did she love me?"

"Of course she did," Iwaizumi's face softens. To be honest, Hoisuke hadn't showed any kind of restraint during the entire divorce procedure, had merely accepted things as they had unfolded before his very eyes. But sometimes, Iwaizumi fears his son might be keeping more from him than he lets on.

He ressembles his mother a lot in that sense.

"Then," wet coffee-coloured eyes blink up at him, lips trembling with a hoarse whisper, "why'd she leave?"

Before his father can say anything, the young boy bursts into tears.

Iwaizumi rushes over, clasping Hoisuke in his embrace as the child buries his face into his neck and cries and cries and cries. His little heart beats like wild horses and with every sob echoing through hid body, Iwaizumi feels his own heart break over and over again. One of his hands rub comforting circles of Hoisuke's back, while the other smoothes over the back of his head as he murmurs soft nothings in hopes that it will calm down the young child.

"I want--" Hoisuke's voice is thick with tears, "I want Mama--"

"Shh, hey it's okay," Iwaizumi murmurs out, "s'alright kiddo. I got you."

Hoisuke falls asleep eventually, the soft sniffles dying out into even breaths as he slumps against his father’s shoulder, probably tired out from his earlier emotions. Iwaizumi takes this as his chance to tuck the boy into bed, glad that he’d listened to the small subconscious in his head telling him that Hoisuke would be falling asleep sooner rather than latter. 

As he smoothes over his son’s hair, a part of him wonders how much Hoisuke is still silently hurting from his mother’s departure. He can’t imagine it; suddenly changing lives like you’ve merely changed your bed sheets and Iwaizumi had been so caught up in his own heartbreak, in his own bout of silent rage, that he’d forgotten that along the way, Hoisuke was also a victim to their endless fighting, the cold war that had broken his family apart. 

He wishes he can take the pain away, ease it somehow. But it’s not that simple. The truth is, no one can actually predict how a heart gets broken, nor when it does. The only evidence are the repurcussions. And it’s only now that Iwaizumi gets to see it truly take its form. 

Leaning over to press a soft kiss to Hoisuke’s forehead, Iwaizumi murmurs his silent goodnight before walking out and gently closing the bedroom door behind him. 

He leans onto the hard wooden surface and rubs his eyes. It is only upon pulling them away that he takes notice of the family photograph hanging on the opposite wall, frozen smiles wrapped up in lies.

He really needs to take that down.

-----

#iwaizumi fluff #iwaizumi hajime #haikyu #haikyuu!! #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu oneshot #haikyu x reader #iwaizumi x reader #iwaizumi headcanons #iwaizumi drabble #iwaizumi x y/n #iwaizumi angst #iwaizumi imagine #iwaizumi scenarios #oikawa x reader x iwaizumi #haikyuu drabbles #haikyuu x oc #haikyuu x reader #haikyu!! x reader #iwaizumi x you #haikyu!! x you #hinata shoyo #kageyama x reader #oikawa x reader #aoba josai x reader #aoba josai headcanons

[robininthelabyrinth]

I'd like to see more of the Jiang Cheng has spider venom fic. Mostly because I want to see him bite someone else. How about a Jin?

Normal For the Spider - Extra: 5 People Jiang Cheng Bit, Some of Whom Deserved It

ao3

1 – Wei Wuxian

“So I’ve been exchanging letters with shijie on account of the whole theoretically banished business,” Wei Wuxian said as they strolled down the Qiongqi Path together, Wen Ning behind them making shy stuttering friends with the handful of Jiang sect disciples Jiang Cheng had brought along with him – he’d deliberately picked the friendliest and most social of the lot, the ones that acted like overgrown puppies and wanted to adopt everyone they met, and sure enough they’d mobbed Wen Ning like a bunch of crows intent on raising the poor little sparrow they found into a proper bird. It was no more than Wen Ning deserved, in Jiang Cheng’s opinion. Someone needed to socialize him, and clearly neither his sister nor Wei Wuxian were doing crap about it.

“That’s nice,” Jiang Cheng said. “If by nice you mean extremely suspicious. What about in particular?”

“Your family inheritance.”

“Is this about the summer house we have near that mountain lake? I told you, it’s been deserted for years and may possibly be haunted by something resistant to the usual liberation techniques, but if you really want to go there, you’re of course allowed…”

“That’s not the inheritance I meant and you know it.”

Jiang Cheng rolled his eyes. He did know it. “What questions do you have now?” he asked. “More medical stuff from Wen Qing?”

She’d recovered from the venom very well and immediately started wanting to know everything. Recovered a little too well, in Jiang Cheng’s opinion.

“No, this one’s for me,” Wei Wuxian said. “We’re going to Lanling City in order to let Jin Ling bite me as a way to establish familial ties and let him ‘absorb’ good aspects from my personality, right?”

Jiang Cheng nodded.

“So in some cases, biting is an act of affection?”

Jiang Cheng nodded, a little more warily.

“Then how come you’ve never bitten me?”

“It’s only affectionate when you’re a baby,” Jiang Cheng said. “Once you grow into your childhood venom, it starts being dangerous, even to family; you don’t do affection-bites after that point. And when you’re an adult…well, you saw Wen Qing!”

“Eh, she’s fine now,” Wei Wuxian said cheerfully. “I feel like I missed out! It’s not fair, Jiang Cheng. I deserve a bite! I’m practically your brother! We share essential bodily organs!”

“Wei Wuxian! Don’t talk about that!”

“Bite me and I’ll stop.”

“I’m not biting you just to make you stop being annoying –”

2 – Jin Zixun

“What are you doing here?!” Jiang Cheng demanded. “This is an ambush! Is the Jin sect considering waging an act of war against the Jiang sect?”

Jin Zixun scowled at him. “Not against the Jiang sect,” he said haughtily. “Against the Yiling Patriarch.”

“He’s my head disciple!”

That got a confused sort of frown. “But you banished him…?”

“Rumor,” Jiang Cheng said, with dignity, the way they’d always planned. “Baseless rumor, that’s all.”

Rumor he’d never denied, and had instead implicitly encouraged so that people would leave his Jiang sect alone for a little while as he gathered up strength and resources to tell them to fuck off.

“But…” Jin Zixun hesitated. “You just – attacked him?”

Jiang Cheng glared at Wei Wuxian, still lying prone on the ground with his head in Wen Ning’s lap to elevate it and his neck bandaged but still a little red – surely the paralytic had worn off by now?

Wei Wuxian noticed him staring and gave a jaunty little wave, grinning and very clearly regretting nothing, which meant that the paralytic had worn off and he was just lying there to be comfortable while watching the fun.

Typical.

“A friendly exchange,” he said, trying to maintain his dignity. “Also? Not the Jin sect’s business. What about you? What did you want with him?”

“I want him to remove the curse he cast on me,” Jin Zixun said, and he strode forward before Jiang Cheng could stop him and kicked Wei Wuxian in the side. “You hear me, you bastard?! I want the damn thing gone this instant or else –”

3 – Wen Ning

“So this is going to be a little awkward to explain,” Jin Zixuan said, rubbing his face. He looked tired, but that was possibly a side-effect of having Jin Zixun as a cousin. “Tell me, why are my cousin’s flunkies – er, I mean, my cousin’s friends convinced that it was Wen Ning that poisoned him?”

Jiang Cheng scowled.

“No offense meant,” Jin Zixuan added, nodding politely to Wen Ning. “It’s just, you know, you’re very much not a Yu, or even a Jiang.”

“No offense taken,” Wen Ning mumbled, though to Jiang Cheng’s eyes he looked a little pleased, even if his stiff wooden face still didn’t do emotions all that well. “It’s nice not to be automatically feared.”

“It’s because Wen Ning punched Jin Zixun in the face at the same moment that I bit him,” Jiang Cheng interjected, because someone needed to answer the actual question. “And then Jin Zixun fell over and someone started shouting about corpse poison – even though he’s obviously turned purple! Purple venom, purple spider, purple lightning…what part of this thematic color scheme is not obvious?!”

“Technically, the livor mortis spots generated by corpse poison are also purple,” Wei Wuxian said, completely unhelpfully. “According to Wen Qing, it’s the lack of oxygen in the blood pooling under the skin or something, which is the same thing your mom’s poison does.”

“Do you think you’re helping?” Jiang Cheng demanded.

“No, not at all. Did I sound like I was helping? I didn’t mean to.”

“I’m going to bite you again, you little…”

“My father isn’t going to want to let Wen Ning through the door if he’s considered a possible threat,” Jin Zixuan said, wisely deciding to carry on with the conversation despite their bickering. “You know he’s been saying all those things about how dangerous the Yiling Patriarch is – this’ll just feed into that.”

“I’m not going to Lanling City without Wen Ning!” Wei Wuxian exclaimed. “Wen Qing made me promise! It’s his first time visiting such a big place, too!”

“I’m pretty sure Wen Qing made you promise not to leave him behind because she was worried about your well-being, not Wen Ning’s ability to be a tourist,” Jiang Cheng said.

“Doesn’t matter! I’m not leaving him, and I’m definitely not going to not attend the party, so you have to fix this!”

“I don’t know how to fix this –”

Wen Ning coughed lightly. “Uh,” he said. “Jin-gongzi…would your father let me in if I wasn’t a threat? Say, if I was unconscious?”

A moment of silence.

“…does venom work even on fierce corpses?”

“Of course it does,” Jiang Cheng said irritably. “It wouldn’t be much of a defense mechanism for a cultivator if it didn’t.”

4 – Jin Guangshan

“I didn’t mean to!” Jiang Cheng said, his hands over his mouth. “I really didn’t mean to! It’s Wei Wuxian’s fault!”

“How is this my fault?!” Wei Wuxian asked. He looked amused, which was never a good sign, and even less so given the extreme crisis of the situation. “I wasn’t even in the room.”

“You encouraged me to keep biting people as a solution to everything!” Jiang Cheng hissed. “It got me in the mood. I wasn’t thinking!”

He looked down at the unconscious (and swiftly purpling) Jin Guangshan and grimaced. There was no convenient Wen Ning to put the blame on this time: it had been just the two of them, Jin Guangshan and Jiang Cheng, alone in a room together. Jin Guangshan had wanted to have words with him, sect leader to sect leader, which mostly meant that he wanted to throw his weight and seniority around to try to brow-beat Jiang Cheng into doing what he wanted, except that wasn’t going to work because Jiang Cheng was prepared, okay, he’d worked so long and so hard to try to build up the Jiang sect until it could resist Jin sect pressure.

And he’d probably just ruined everything.

“He has legitimate grounds to declare war against us now,” Jiang Cheng said miserably. “Or maybe to demand that we hand over that stupid Tiger Seal he keeps bugging you about as reparations, or in order to keep him from declaring war…”

“We can’t let him have it,” Wei Wuxian said at once. “It’s far too dangerous. I’d destroy it, first.”

“But then he’d still have a reason to strike against us…”

There was the soft sound of someone clearing their throat, and at first Jiang Cheng thought it was Wen Ning but when he looked up it was Jin Guangyao, instead. He looked the same as always, gentle and personable and smiling, which struck Jiang Cheng as being unaccountably weird for some reason that he couldn’t figure out until he remembered that the man’s father was currently lying on the ground being poisoned and maybe Jin Guangyao shouldn’t be smiling so much.

“If you don’t mind,” Jin Guangyao said, “I might have a suggestion that would get rid of that problem…”

5 – Wen Qing

“…and long story short, Jin Guangyao is going to run Lanling Jin until Jin Zixuan is done having kids, which may be never based on the soppy looks he and my shijie keep exchanging, and we all have the Jin sect’s blessing to move back into the Lotus Pier,” Wei Wuxian concluded. “All’s well that ends well, right, Jiang Cheng?”

Jiang Cheng crossed his arms and glared, admitting nothing.

“I’ll be happy to move anywhere that has decent food,” Wen Qing remarked. “This damn place won’t even grow radishes properly, and it’s Yiling; the radishes should be practically growing themselves.”

“I’ve arranged for some farmland for your people,” Jiang Cheng said, because practicalities he could do. “There’s still lots left over from before the war, lying fallow, and some of the places are medicinal herb fields – we need people with cultivation to tend to those, so I figured that might work for you. You’d have half regular farmland, to make sure you can grow whatever food you feel you need to be comfortable, and the other half, the herbs, can be sold to the Jiang sect at profit.”

“That sounds good,” Wen Qing said.

“Especially since they’re medicinal herb plants,” Wei Wuxian chimed in. “You could stock up on medicines you need!”

“A lot of medicines have to be obtained through trade, you utter nincompoop! I can’t make medicine just using what a single medicinal herb field will generate!”

Jiang Cheng nodded approvingly, thinking to himself that at least there was someone else in the world who understood exactly how aggravating it was to have to deal with Wei Wuxian’s unbridled and illogical optimism on a regular basis.

“And as for you,” Wen Qing said, turning to Jiang Cheng, who blinked owlishly at her. “Don’t think I missed the part of that story about how biting people is a sign of affection!”

“It’s – what?! No, you don’t – that’s when we’re children– it’s –”

Wei Wuxian started cackling.

#mdzs #jiang cheng #wei wuxian #wen ning #jin zixun #jin zixuan #jin guangyao #wen qing #my fic #my fics #normal for the spider

[ladydaemon]

SICK DAYS

kaz brekker x female! reader

A/N: Yes, I realize how cliché and very non-Kaz this is. I tried my best guys, but I am in the mood for fluff and only fluff so yeah.

Summary: After a night in the rain, Y/N has a cold and it's up to Kaz to take care of her, a difficult task indeed.

Warnings: swearing, really horrible writing, not proofread writing, just me spitting out Words™ at three in the morning

Dangerous assassins do not need sick days.

It was an extremely hypocritical thought, and Y/N knew it. She thought the thought anyway, because at this point, there seemed to be no aspect in her life that was not fueled entirely by spite.

"Please, for the love of the Saints, go to sleep, Y/N," Inej begged, forcing the woman back onto the bed. "You are sick. You need rest."

"I do not need rest, I need caffeine and waffles," the wheezing woman replied stubbornly, trying to get past Inej, who was blocking the doorway of her room. The Slat, usually thundering with noise and chatter, was silent as the grave - it was one of the rare days in Ketterdam where it was sunny, and everyone was either out enjoying the weather or enjoying pickpocketing someone who was enjoying the weather. "I am a grown-ass woman who also happens to be very good at using the bang-bang machines we call guns so please move aside, I need fresh air."

It was arguably entirely Y/N's fault that she was stuck inside in the first place - first, she had stayed out in the rain too long, despite Kaz's numerous protests. Second, she had, in a grave act of stupidity, gone down for breakfast the next morning. Normally, this would not have been a problem. However, on this particular day, her eyes were red and swollen and itchy and her lungs hurt and it was generally very obvious that she had a cold.

These were the deciding factors which led to her ultimate demise:

House arrest.

Though the fact that she was notorious for her spontaneous, impulsive, reckless, throw-caution-to-the-wind nature (along with the fact that Kaz, from multiple bad experiences he would rather not repeat, knew that she had nearly no self-preservation skills) probably had something to with it.

Also she apparently needed a chaperone. Which was probably a good idea, but Y/N wasn't about to admit that anytime soon.

"You are seventeen and you have a window, darling," the smooth voice of one Kaz Brekker, the devil himself, interrupted Y/N's feeble excuse of an escape.

"But Kaz," Y/N whined, pouting. Inej gave the man an exasperated look as if to say, See what I've been dealing with?

"Darling, you'll only have to stay here longer if you don't try and get better."

"Still."

Kaz, lips twitching in a very non-Kaz way, turned to Inej. "You can go. I suppose I'll play nursemaid."

The Wraith chucked darkly, already stepping out Y/N's window. "Good luck with that."

As soon as she had climbed out the room and was well out of earshot, Kaz turned on his heel and walked out. Y/N, thoroughly confused, took a second to contemplate whether this act was meant that she was officially free, or that she was supposed to follow him. Her question was answered a moment later when he called out, not sparing her a backwards glance, "Are you coming?"

She sighed dejectedly, following him up the stairs to hid room. With a flamboyant and smug bow, he opened the door for her. "Ladies first."

She rolled her eyes at him but entered the room nonetheless. Kaz closed the door behind him and strode heavily to his desk, taking the time to shuffle and order some papers. Y/N stood awkwardly in the middle of the room, unsure as to what in the hell she was supposed to do. Kaz flicked his eyes up to her and jerked his head towards the black-sheeted bed that occupied almost a fourth of the room.

She stared at it for a moment. "You want me to sleep. On your bed. While you watch." It came out more an incredulous statement than a question.

"Sorry to break it to you, but I can't devote all my time to taking care of you, and I also can't leave you alone unsupervised while ill. This is our compromise," Kaz explained somewhat impatiently.

"I am not going to get in that crusty-ass bed, that, in case you have forgotten, belongs to my boss, AKA you. For all I know you sleep nude."

One of Kaz's eyebrows twitched. "The sheets were changed this morning. And for the record, I don't."

"Still not going to do it. That takes the creepy-o-meter to like, a thousand."

"You're a criminal who spies on brothels. This is nothing."

"Still not doing it. This feels fundamentally wrong."

"I'll buy you a nice dagger if you just shut up and get in the damn bed." Saints, he was already exasperated, and he had barely been here five minutes. A new respect for Inej found its way into his being.

Y/N went quiet for a minute, considering. "One of the serrated ones with the fancy gilded handles?"

"Whatever dagger your heart desires."

"Two daggers and a gun."

"One dagger and a gun."

"Deal," Y/N decided, plopping down on the bed. It still felt wrong, but she did need a new dagger - Wylan had blown hers up in a previous job.

She carefully peeled the pristine sheets and blankets away from the mattress, half expecting a dozen poisonous things to pop out. The only thing it released was the strangely comforting smell of wood oil and ink (and a bit of gunpowder, but this was Kaz Brekker we're talking about).

Y/N slipped beneath the covers, her head resting comfortably on the cloud-like pillows.

I bet this bitch sleeps like a baby every night.

"I can still beat your ass, Brekker," she mumbled. Yeah, she was sick, but she also had a reputation to uphold.

"On a regular day, I have no doubt about it. Currently, you are prohibited from doing anything that isn't sleeping, peeing, or contemplating life. Doctor's orders."

"Well, I'm going to go pee then. More freedom." She attempted to stand up from the surprisingly soft bed but the in the second it took for her to try and stand, Kaz, moving surprisingly quickly for a man with a cane, pinned her to the bed by her shoulders with an exasperated sigh.

"Just stay still. Please," he breathed.

"Get me a sweet bun and maybe," she breathed back, but didn't move. Despite her almost child-like demeanor, she was one of the original Dregs, here as a child even before Kaz. He had been the only one her age when he had joined, so naturally, she had befriended him (well, as much as you can befriend Kaz Brekker). She knew about his phobia of touch, and how much it meant that he was touching her, even with his gloves on.

Kaz released her with a sigh and stalked over to his desk where he rummaged around for a bit until he produced a small tin that looked abut as old as he was. He tossed it at her and she grabbed it, opening it to see some biscuits that looked as hard as rocks. "That's all I have, and all you're going get. Don't break a tooth."

Y/N sighed, staring at the biscuits mournfully before taking one out of the tin and gnawing on it. It would have been easier to bite on the barrel of one of Jesper's guns. "You're mean."

"You're acting like a petulant child."

Y/N made a disgruntled noise from the back of her throat, sinking back into the silk pillows and wrapping the blankets tighter around her. She had made no visible mark on the cookie, and had only succeeded in covering it with slobber. She put it back in the tin and noticed Kaz wrinkle his nose at her.

She doubted the biscuits would ever see the light of day again.

She watched Kaz do his paperwork, a surprisingly interesting thing to do. He had taken off his hat and jacket, and rolled up his sleeves. He even took his gloves off, preferring to use a pen without the ridiculous slipperiness of the leather. The papers shuffled in a soothing rhythm, and soon, Y/N began to feel less cooped up and a bit more relaxed.

Ever since she had been taken away from her family and thrown onto the tiny slaving ship, Y/N had always had a touch of claustrophobia (well, it was a bit more than a touch, but she wasn't willing to admit that just yet). The tiny room with a mattress on the flooor was really just a decoration at this point - she slept on the roof most nights and every waking hour was in Ketterdam, simply walking if there were no pockets to be picked.

Drowsily, she watched as Kaz scratched something out on paper, his face creasing ever so slightly. The pen made a nice sound, she found, and paired with the strangely calming scent of his room and the rustling of papers, it made her feel almost like it was rainy day, the kind where you curled up by the fire and read a book or cuddled with someone.

"I doubt staring at my face will help you fall asleep, love," Kaz noted without looking up from his work.

"Your face is the most interesting thing here."

For the barest fraction of a second, Kaz looked like he had short-circuited. The moment was gone as soon as it came, however, and he simply raised an eyebrow at her. "You're very immature sometimes."

"Thanks!" Y/N said cheerfully. "It was the trauma."

"Trauma hardens people, it doesn't make them softer," Kaz dismissed.

"I agree wholeheartedly. However, there's a difference between an excellent mask and incompetence," she replied. "Now come over here and show what's bothering you, I can see it on your face."

Kaz looked up at her, noting the fact that she probably wouldn't shut up unless he did as she asked. He rolled his eyes, hobbling over to the bed. As he sat, she could feel his weight pushing the mattress down.

Before he could say a word, she snatched the paper in his hands and began scanning it. "What's wrong with it?"

"The numbers don't add up."

She stared at the document for another second, then back up at Kaz. "Who are you and what have you done with Kaz Brekker?"

He blinked at her.

"You forgot to carry the one. The numbers don't add up because you... well, added them wrong," she explained softly. She looked up at him, concern crossing her features. "Do you need a nap?"

Kaz huffed out a breath. "I'm fine. You're just distracting me, that's all."

"We're going to ignore the fact that you think I'm distracting and instead focus on the fact that you have not slept in several days."

Kaz's nostrils flared slightly in indignation. Before he could speak, however, Y/N cut him off. "Kaz, I have known you since I was eleven. I'm also not fucking blind. Yes, I know you are essentially running a mafia at age seventeen. Yes, I know you are under pressure. Yes, I know there is at any given moment a bounty on your head. Yes, I know I am sick and it is technically your job to take care of me. But can we please just make a deal or a truce or something in which you get some fucking rest?"

Kaz was quiet for a moment before the corner of his mouth twitched. "Always the mother hen for everyone except yourself."

She was startled into a laugh. "What can I saw, I was a born hypocrite."

Kaz did end up getting a couple hours of sleep, even if it was at Y/N's insistence.

However, he almost regretted it when Jesper barged in and, with a gleeful cackle, found them both sleeping in the same bed with one of his legs pressed up against hers - Kaz's version of flat-out cuddling.

Almost.

#kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #six of crows #grishaverse #kaz brekker imagine

[yhwhsdaughter]

pairing: trevor belmont x fem reader

content: forced vampirism, monster slaying, main character death, pining, angst, mention of animal death, usage of the word ‘assault’ to refer vampires feeding on reader

- this was meant as platonic soulmates but it can be seen as romantic too

“It hurts…”

Feet dragging across the rocky ground, you heard screeches of pain from behind, though they soon diminished. You could only focus on the pulsing sensation at the side of your neck; it was like fire rushing through your veins.

Preoccupied with your agony, Belmont was able to sneak up. He raised his whip, ready to kill off the last of the creatures when you suddenly turned, and with glossy eyes you said, “Help me…”

The whip managed to leave a thin horizontal line across your cheek as he pulled back, causing blood to drip out slowly. Now illuminated by the moon, Belmont saw the damage on you. Skin exposed by the ripped clothes showed multiple bite marks. Blood stained the corner of your lips.

She’s been infected..

Belmont didn’t see a monster but a scared woman who’d just been assaulted by vampires. He knew what she’d turn into, but he couldn’t kill her… not when she looked at him like this. Sunrise was approaching so he had to act fast.

Draping his cloak onto your form, Belmont proceeded to carry you into the nearest building, which so happened to be where the carnage had occurred. Upon recognizing the place, you began to panic, shaking and looking at him with distrust. “You’re safe. I killed every last of those bloodsuckers.”

The two of you stayed like that for a while, in that shitty stinking room. Eventually tiredness overcame your senses; Belmont felt weight settle on his shoulder. He wonder how a vampire could look so innocent whilst sleeping.

“Hungry…”

You felt parched; it felt like your throat had dried up, barely able to utter a word.

“I know.”

A rabbit was placed in front of you. Blinking at it, you directed a confused glance at the man. “I’m—this is.. for me?” He nodded. Taking the animal with traces of disgust, you raised it to your mouth. Blood gushed into your mouth; feeding made a horrible slurping that would certainly haunt you but there was relief amongst those troubling feelings.

You gulped every last drop, draining the poor creature of its life. Still, your hunger and thirst weren’t satiated. Biting your lip, you pondered on the next move. Because this man had saved you, daring to kill him or even feed off him seemed… rude. Not to mention, he seemed way stronger than you in terms of experience. Prior to this, you were a regular citizen. Maybe you could run away?

“Here.”

Trevor could see your turmoil. Most vampires needed to drain at least one human every time they fed—if they were being generous. They could survive weeks without blood but it made them weaker. Besides, it was older vampires who had this kind of self control. Newborns tended to be more unstable.

“Just take it before I change my mind.”

You did as told, though you were still unsure. Hesitating, you licked your lips before nearing towards the vein on his wrist.

Trevor let out a grunt when your fangs pierced him. Although you tried to be gentle, it was an uncomfortable feeling nonetheless. As he became lightheaded and you full, the mouth that was attached to his wrist removed itself with a ‘pop’.

After making sure he was alright, you asked for his name. “Trevor. Trevor Belmont.”

“Oh..”

“……”

“Oh! I’m (Name) (Surname).”

─── ☾☼☽ ───

“It’s dangerous.”

“I still-still want to go!”

The last remnants of sun were gone. Ever since your first encounter with the rugged monster hunter, you refused to part from him, following the latter like a lost puppy.

“I’m not much of a fighter.. b-but watch this!”

On cue, you punched the nearest tree, cracking it and making a sizable hole. You looked back proudly towards Trevor; except when you tried to pull your hand out, you were having difficulty.

“Ah. It’s stuck.”

Trevor couldn’t help but chuckle, walking away, clearly amused with your display of power. You pulled harder, “Hold on! Don’t leave me alone! It’s scary..” you muttered the last part while chasing after him. Despite being a creature of the night, the world and its evils still frightened you.

At the sound of a branch snapping, you yelped, grabbing a piece of Trevor’s cloak for security.

It shouldn’t have come as a surprise to Belmont when you punched a head clean off, practically decapitating one of the attackers. He might have been seriously injured if you had not intervened.

“Trevor.”

Gazing at you under the moonlight, he saw the hunger in your eyes as you held a man whom was still alive but struggling. His neck was exposed. Even so, you waited.

The Belmont turned away, giving you privacy to feed.

He knew that by allowing you to live, you would continue to take blood from others. Normally he wouldn’t feel soft towards a monster but whenever he thought of you, it was different.

His guilt was lessened when you drank from scum. Before putting the lives of innocents in danger, he would offer his own.

“Are you done?”

The corpse of the man was dropped unceremoniously as you joined Trevor, a light skip to your step.

─── ☾☼☽ ───

Despite adopting a nighttime lifestyle, Trevor was still human and had to conduct business during daylight hours.

He’d left your lodgings, which was an abandoned cottage, for a while. Nobody really passed through there anyway, so he thought you were safe. Worst came to worse, you could handle yourself. But as your self proclaimed protector, Trevor felt uneasy leaving you alone.

Maybe he should’ve listened to his gut because when he arrived, the door was wide open with dirty footprints leading in all the way to your coffin.

Two men had opened it—staring at the peaceful expression on your face, unaware that they were here to end you. To them it was obvious what you were. Even with that frilly white dress that made you look somewhat angelic, they couldn’t be fooled. As they raised their weapons to strike, Trevor used his whip. His sudden entrance startled them but it gave you the chance to wake up.

Eyes snapping open, you jumped onto the other man, taking both of you to the ground. His screams echoed shortly as you tore into his throat. The remaining one had no chance; Trevor left the room, closing the door on his way out, killing the light that entered and cutting off the way to escape.

Left alone with your prey, a smile crept up your face.

When you opened the door again, the dress which decorated your body was now stained red. There was hardly a clean piece on the material. Even so, you greeted Trevor with a hug.

“Trevor..”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

“M-me too..”

─── ☾☼☽ ───

Forty years passed in the blink of an eye.

“You should retire.”

“Belmonts don’t retire. The only rest they get is when they’re dead.”

“Well I don’t want you to die.”

“I have to, someday.”

“No you don’t.”

It’s been like this for the past few years; Trevor was sixty now. His body didn’t look that of an aging man, but the expression on his face did. He’d seen too much and as time passed, it was harder to fight monsters by himself.

Of course you’d noticed that and suggested turning him. It was an ongoing discussion; Trevor didn’t fancy the idea of living an eternal life but the thought of leaving this earth without you was disheartening. He didn’t say it but the situation tore him apart.

There was also the fact that he was too old for you; forty years to be exact. You’d maintained your youth, looking lovely as ever. His doubts were shot down when you immediately said that you didn’t care about that.

“I just want you.”

He always kept pushing the conversation away and you were patient. Trevor supposed that you could’ve taken him by force if you wanted and when he inquired, you told him it would be like violating him, robbing him of the choice you were never given.

As understanding as you were; the time would come for him to decide and confront you about it.

That time was now.

He should have been more careful, but there was nothing to be done about it now. Trevor watched as the sun slowly descended. Would you make it here before he passed? Would he die without seeing you one last time?

When you woke night had already fallen. Trevor wasn’t home; he’d been late plenty of times before but this occasion felt different.

Upon stepping outside, the smell of blood hit you. It reeked, staining the very air. You immediately recognized the source—how could you not? You’d fed from Trevor countless times.

Rushing in that direction, you prayed to whatever entity was listening to keep Trevor safe. The world and its gods could condemn you, but not him.

Not him.

You found him sprawled on a big rock, a creature hovering over his crumpled figure. Without thinking, you tore it to pieces. Blood rained as his mangled body flew to various parts of the forest.

“Trevor!!!”

He let out a groan, which would’ve made you sigh in relief but his visible injuries proved otherwise. You were no doctor and even if you could carry him into town, it would be too late. There was no other option. If you didn’t do anything, you might lose him.

“Trevor. Let me do it.”

Still conscious enough to reply, “I don’t want to become—”

“A monster?”

“I cannot become what I sought to destroy..”

Tears escaped your eyes, blurring the image of the person whom you treasure most. “Please.. please please please..! Don’t leave me alone!”

You begged, knowing it was unfair to pressure him in such way but you couldn’t bare the thought of existing if he wasn’t present. He was your salvation, your companion…your world. And yet, he was being robbed from you.

So soon… It’s too soon!

You always imagined Trevor living well into old age, spending the remainder of his life with you, being happy. He was destined to die peacefully, not like this. Not in this shitty place, by the hands of a shitty monster!

“I can’t. I’m sorry..”

Grabbing his hands, you lowered your forehead on them, crying your heart out. It was unfair. Life was unfair.

“Kiss me.”

Despite the pain that he was in, Trevor found it in himself to smile. For you. “Kiss me one last time.” Tears dropped slowly as you heard him. Shaking your head; you couldn’t kill him.

“I want it to be you..”

His words struck a chord.

Lifting him by the neck in a gentle manner, you pushed the collar of his shirt aside, exposing his carotid. As you bit into his familiar skin once more, your other hand caressed him, trying to make this goodbye as painless as possible.

With every sip you took, tears fell down.

I love you! I love you! I love you!

His warm hand turned cold.

You held him in your arms like he once did to you, with the outmost care, with the love he deserved.

Since Trevor didn’t say where he wanted his body to be buried, you chose the nicest spot. It was a secluded place where it wouldn’t be dug up by animals or people—but not so hidden either.

Whilst cleaning the blood that covered his body and face, you found a piece of cloth with writing on it. Staring at it, you recognized the Belmont insignia. Turning the material, you managed to read the words…

Take this. Go to Alucard.

Trevor must’ve written that in his final moments; probably in case he didn’t make it before you arrived. The letters were sloppy because of the blood but you could read it well.

Clutching it to your chest, you sobbed until the light of day began to burn. For a moment you wished to stay there and disappear. Perhaps you could join Trevor.

Together even in death..

─── ☾☼☽ ───

The journey was rather long.

Looming in all its glory, Castle Dracula. You looked at the last piece of your beloved, holding it tighter in your hand.

“Okay. Let’s meet this Alucard.”

#trevor belmont #castlevania trevor #trevor x reader #trevor x you #trevor x y/n #castlevania #castlevania x reader #castlevania x you #castlevania x y/n #alucard #alucard x reader #alucard x you #alucard x y/n #vampire

[queenshelby]

Pleasure & Pain

50 Shades of Murphy – Part Three

Pairing: Cillian Murphy x Reader

Warning: SMUT, Dom/Sub, BDSM, Edging, Impact Play, Nipple Clamps, Wax Play, Unprotected Intercourse

Words: 5,246

Over the past week, you had signed Cillian’s agreement and had arranged for all of your medical check-ups and, as expected, everything was in order.

You’ve had the implant for about a year already and pregnancy wasn’t a concern.

Cillian, in turn, did the same and it wasn’t until Saturday that you caught up again after Cillian had spent the week in London with his brother.

When you arrived at Cillian’s house, you were rather surprised to see that he had cooked dinner for you and everything started off almost like a regular date.

You got along well and never ran out of interesting conversation material. Nonetheless, that particular evening, you were nervous and a little bit worried about what was to come.

‘You know you can still change your mind’ Cillian said as he poured you a glass of wine, which you finished rather quickly despite the fact that Cillian made clear to you that he wouldn’t give you more than one glass until after your session in his basement.

‘I know, but I won’t. I want see what this is all about. I have been reading up on it and I am not quite so sure why people find joy in inflicting and receiving pain this way’ you said, trying to ascertain what exactly it was that he would do to you.

‘It’s not about the pain. It is about pleasure’ Cillian explained and you nervously bit your lip, unsure how to respond to his statement.

‘So, you think I will enjoy this, being whipped and god knows what else you will do to me’ you said.

‘I am certain that you will. Despite, it’s not just that. You will see’ Cillian said somewhat reassuringly before asking you to get up, get ready and meet him downstairs.

‘So, what do you want me to wear then sir?’ you joked.

‘Nothing at all’ Cillian responded firmly.

‘Nothing? No lingerie?’ you asked surprised and a little disappointed as you bought three sets of sexy lacy underwear with you for him to choose from.

‘Lingerie is overrated. I want you to wait for me on the bed, naked with your hair tight up’ Cillian instructed before giving you a passionate kiss.

‘Yes sir’ you simply said with a wink as your lips drifted apart, knowing very well that you didn’t have to address him like this until you entered the play room.

***

You looked up from where you sat on the bed, completely naked, just as Cillian had instructed, when Cillian entered the room.

He made you wait for at least 15 minutes but you hadn't wanted to explore the room without him. You were simultaneously excited, aroused and fearful of what you might find amongst everything else you saw during your first visit to his house.

Cillian looked gorgeous as he stood in the doorway watching you, wearing nothing but tight black Calvin Klein briefs.

‘I am ready sir’ you said quietly as you watched Cillian walk towards the other end of the room, a small smile playing at the corners of his mouth.

‘No rope tonight?’ you then asked as he returned silently with four leather cuffs, two smaller and two larger ones.

‘Not tonight’ Cillian said and you willingly held out your wrists for him.

‘Not yet. Lie down’ he instructed and you complied, lying down and allowing him to encircle your wrists with each of the cuff before securing them to a leather string which was attached to the bedhead above you.

Whilst the string allowed you to wiggle, it also allowed Cillian to turn you around without undoing the cuffs.

Without words, his eyes followed his fingers as they trailed down your cheek and over your shoulder to your breast where his fingers found your nipple, pinching it gently between his thumb and forefinger and rolling the swollen nub.

Then, Cillian grabbed the other larger cuffs which he placed around your ankles before retrieving a metal bar and attaching it in between the cuffs, keeping your legs spread wide.

‘Fuck, you look so sexy like this, all helpless and at my mercy’ he murmured from where he was sitting.

You smiled and looked up at him, moving your shoulders slightly, trying to wiggle around to get more comfortable.

‘It's adorable watching you try to retain some sense of control in here with me’ Cillian then said before he placed his hands on your shoulders to stop your movements.

‘The moment you signed that contract you surrendered all control of what happens here to me’ he then reminded you as he moved away from you and you watched him as he seemed to be slowing himself down with the distraction of retrieving equipment rather than rebuking your actions.

You said nothing as you watched him take out two candles before placing them on a waist-high shelf beside the bed and lighting them. Almost immediately the room began to fill with a subtle sweet smell. You continued to watch him as he went to a different panel and took several items from the cupboard before approaching you again.

‘You said you would take it easy on me the first time we do this’ you said nervously as you observed him carrying a leather strap towards the bed.

‘If you are a good girl and behave for me, then I will’ Cillian smirked.

‘Hmm, alright, I will be good’ you said somewhat nervously and Cillian could see that you were slightly worried.

‘Do you remember your safe words?’ Cillian then asked and you nodded.

‘Good. How are you feeling, now?’ he asked.

‘Green’ you said with a smile.

‘Good, now close your eyes and keep them closed’ Cillian ordered, wanting you to trust him without him having to blindfold you.

‘Why?’ you asked before you could stop yourself and felt the sting of the strap catch your breast.

‘Because I told you to, and in here we play by my rules’ he said in a low dark voice. ‘Close your eyes and keep them closed’ he repeated his command.

His tone and forcefulness sent a shiver down your spine, and without thinking about it any further, you closed your eyes.

Cillian took a few moments to gaze down on you, still not quite believing that you were here in this room with him and allowing him to use you in this way. He ran his hands over your breasts, playing with your hard-pointed nipples and listening to the small moans of pleasure you emitted.

You took a deep breath a moment before you felt his lips on yours while his hands massaged down your body starting from your shoulders and lingering over your breasts before moving lower across your tummy and then the area of skin just above your mound. You heard him groan deeply as if the slower pace he was moving at was torturing him, and you allowed yourself a small smile that you affected him in the same way his actions were affecting you.

‘Roll’ Cillian almost barked as he took hold of your body and helped you roll over on to your stomach.

The leather strip attached to your cuffs was now twisted tighter towards the bedhead and your legs were still held wide apart by the spreader.

‘Keep your eyes closed’ he instructed and the bed sagged as you felt Cillian's weight beside you on the mattress. He moved further to straddle your thighs, and you felt his hands touch lightly on your shoulders and you tensed as if expecting the strap to land rather than the continued soft touch of his hands.

‘Relax, Y/N. It's important to relax’ he whispered into your ear, his hot breath caressing your neck. ‘Where are we on the scale?’ he then asked softly.

‘Green’ you whispered softly.

‘Good’ he said softly as his hands glided over your ass.

You felt a small thrill flutter inside you as you began to surrender to him while he continued to gently touch and caress your body for at least ten minutes or so.

The feeling was amazing and you began to fantasise as you felt his hands skate around your thighs to just touch at the inner sides, mere centimetres away from your mound.  You felt his hands creep slowly closer but withdraw again, making you whimper at the denial.

Cillian very carefully avoided any contact with your already soaking pussy and, instead, began working his hands around to your outer thighs. You groaned in disappointment and you heard his faint chuckle.

You took a deep breath and tried to concentrate on the movement of his big strong hands again and sighed as you let the breath out.

‘Did you just sigh at me?’ Cillian asked cheekily as, suddenly, he smacked your ass.

‘I am sorry sir’ you squeaked and felt the cool air once again caress your pussy, making you realise just how wet and wanting you were from all of his teasing.

The pull on your ass cheeks stopped and you heard him groan before the mattress moved and you realised he had moved from the bed. You groaned in frustrated need as he stood there gazing down at you for long minutes.

But then, unexpectedly, there was a blow. The blow, when it came, was light and not at all painful, but made you squeak and your head come up in surprise as you registered what had happened.

‘Too light?’ Cillian questioned almost to himself.

The next blow You felt immediately as it landed over the first and made you hiss between closed teeth and lips and became clear to you that it was the leather strip that was coming down on your ass.

‘How do you feel?’ Cillian asked.

‘Green’ you whispered breathily, the heat from the blow starting to warm your ass. Three more blows came on the other cheek, seeming to hit in the same spot and stinging you with their heat.

‘Y/N?’ he questioned.

‘Green’ you said in a whimpering moan.

‘This is going to be more fun than I imagined then’ he taunted your and let loose a barrage of blows across your ass and upper thighs, making you moan loudly.

‘That’s a good girl’ Cillian praised the louder moan that had escaped your lips. ‘How are you feeling?’ he asked as he paused.

‘Green’ you moaned in a purring way as you settled into the heat and subtle pain of your ass and thighs.

‘Ready?’ he asked, adoring the way you had answered him and enjoying the moment more than he could ever remember in the past. He saw your body tremble in anticipation and raised the strap again.

The first few strikes across the cheeks of your ass seemed lighter to you, as if just reheating the marks already imprinted on your skin. The warmth and sensations they caused were more than manageable, and you never thought to warn him by changing your colour of answer when he asked again. As he continued the increasing intensity of the strikes against your skin, they began to overwhelm you a little more as he worked the strap back down your thighs, giving your ass a small reprieve.

Your head spun, and a deep, intense rush of adrenaline shot through you, firing your brain and numbing the burning hot sting of your ass. You barely heard the words as he demanded to know how you were feeling, and you groaned out green again, feeling your body react not only to the strikes of his strap but also his commanding voice.

Cillian paused and ran his hands over your now burning skin, feeling the heat radiating from it and hearing your soft whimpering as he squeezed the fiery cheeks of your ass.

‘Unbelievable’ Cillian groaned and started to massage the colourful flesh of your ass again, revelling in your ability to take so much from him.

‘Finally, you relax’ he chuckled as he rewarded you by sliding a finger through your slick lips to tease you for a minute.

‘And you are so fucking wet too’ he then observed as he watched your hips buck almost involuntarily as he finally touched your pussy. You felt the teasing finger travel through your folds and playfully teasing at your clit, making your let out a purring moan of appreciation and test the bonds that held your arms above your head.

‘You are something else Y/N’ Cillian murmured in a pleased light tone, and began to insert a finger into you, marvelling at how tight you felt like this and feeling your muscles clutch at his finger as if wanting to draw it deeper. The tension soon became to much for you and you tried to grind yourself against his hand.

‘No! Don’t move’ Cillian scolded, withdrawing his finger and smacking your ass again. ‘Remember who is in control?’ he murmured darkly. ‘Let's try this again, shall we? Cillian then asked as he reinserted his finger and curled it down, seeking out the rough area of skin within your that would push your over the edge.

You whimpered in high purring moans, and when he added a second finger to the first massaging your g-spot with force, you couldn't control the rock of your hips as you built up to what promised to be an earth-shattering climax. Once again Cillian withdrew his fingers and smacked your ass even harder than before, making you cry out even louder.

‘Think carefully before you move!’ Cillian growled. ‘How are you feeling?’ he asked, and watched your take a shaky breath as you thought about what was happening.

‘Green’ you whimpered again.

‘Good’ Cillian said as he moved back down your body to kneel on the end of the bed again and grasped your hips in both hands, raising them and encouraging you to pull your knees below you to hold the position while your ankles were still spread apart.

On your knees, you felt the muscles in your thighs and ass stretch and pull at your damaged skin, and you whimpered softly as you knelt with your ass high and your head low against the mattress where your arms were chained forward and in place.

You concentrated on these feelings of discomfort as he once again pushed his fingers into you and continued to massage your g-spot, bringing you rapidly back to the point you had been only minutes before. You desperately tried not to grind back against his hand, realising your mistake now, but as the muscles in your thighs and ass continued to burn.

Cillian watched you carefully for all of the tell-tale signs that you were close to coming. You were panting heavily, and your body seemed to shudder as you tried to maintain your position for him. The sounds you made became increasingly higher pitched and, as he saw the muscles in your thighs trembling, he withdrew his fingers, leaving you on the edge of what would have been an amazing climax.

‘Remember to ask me for permission if you want to come?’ Cillian said in a low voice as you cried out, your body moving to seek the renewed contact, and he smacked you, pulling your legs from under your so that you landed heavily back onto the bed whimpering softly.

‘I was so close’ you whimpered piteously.’

‘Well, that’s too bad, isn’t it? In fact, you should really be punished for trying to come without my permission’ Cillian then said.

‘Punished?’ you asked somewhat worried as you looked at him.

‘I had thought about spanking you and leaving it at that, but it seems you enjoyed that a lot more than I had considered you would’ Cillian grinned. ‘Which I am more than pleased about, believe me’ he added with an elvish smile before he hoovered back over you.

‘Hmm, what am I going to do to you?’ Cillian murmured, moving forward to whisper huskily close to your ear. The movement had his cock lightly dragging up your back and you could feel how hard he was despite of the fabric of the briefs separating your skin from his.

You tried desperately not to think about how much you wanted to feel him inside you right at that moment, and you closed your eyes, trying to relax, but the feel of his mostly naked body against you was almost too much to bear.

Again, you wiggled your body against him as he briefly ran his hand over your mound.

‘So wet and needy’ he commented as his hand skated down over the lips of your pussy. Inserting one finger in you, he murmured ‘and so tight.’

‘That is a result of all your teasing. Please just fuck me’ you purred, feeling your arousal build again as he slowly moved his finger in and out of your tight hole.

You then felt the finger withdraw from you again and his body lean over yours as Cillian unstrapped you from the bedhead and removed the metal bar in between your ankles, but leaving the cuffs in situ for later perusal.

‘How are you feeling?’ he asked.

‘Green’ you sighed and gave a small smile.

‘Good’ he then said before pulling you up into his arms.

Your heart began to race and you looked into his deep blue eyes seeing your own need and desire reflected back at you.

Cillian stood and helped you from the bed before he led you to a waist-high padded bench on the other side of the room, and once again Cillian pulled your arms back and joined your wrist cuffs together behind your back as you stood perfectly still. He went to a panel on the wall and retrieved another slightly shorter metal bar and bent to your ankles, attaching them to rings on the cuffs before lengthening the bar and pushing your feet widely apart.

‘Fuck, look at you’ he groaned, finally standing in front of you. His hands cupped your breasts and he lowered his head to one nipple, biting it without much force but enough to make you whimper. His fingers worked at the soft flesh as his mouth continued to tease both nipples to hard points.

‘Do you know what these are?’ he asked, tilting his head.

‘Clamps?’ you questioned in return and gave him a concerned stare.

‘Yes’ he said with a husky voice, rolling your nipple between his thumb and forefinger. Then, he attached one to your nipple, and you found that, to your surprise, it was easily bearable.

You looked down as he attached the second clamp and let the chain swing freely between your breasts.

‘Hmm’ you moaned, biting your lip just as he tugged on the chain slightly until he saw your grimace.

‘How are you feeling? Cillian asked.

‘Still green, just’ you breathed, not wanting him to tighten them any further.

‘I was hoping for amber’ he smirked and gave the chain a small tug again, causing you to whimper and clench your teeth.

‘Do we have amber?’ he asked in a deep husky voice.

‘Yes fuck, oh god…amber’ you shouted out as Cillian watched you bite your lip.

‘Your nipples are sensitive’ he grinned before telling you again to stay still as he walked away from you momentarily.

‘Oh god, no’ you huffed out, breathing heavily as he returned with the candles, he had earlier lit and placed on one of the shelves.

You had read about this and knew that the hot wax would soon be covering part of your body.

After sharing a passionate kiss, you reluctantly nodded and Cillian captured your eyes with his own as he tilted the candle, slowly pouring hot wax over the skin of your breasts, making you gasp and whine in a long-drawn-out sound.

‘How are you feeling?’ he asked once both sides of your breasts were covered with cooling white dots of wax, making the skin around the dots of wax change colour and feed his arousal.

‘Amber’ you looked at him with teary eyes.

Cillian knew that it was the clamps that were causing you the most discomfort, and realising this was your first experience with them decided not to leave them in place any longer. He pulled the chain with a quick tug, making the clamps dig deeply into you before finally sliding free and making your cry out and rock in your stance. He moved to support you, his head lowering to capture and soothe a nipple in his mouth as he fingers gently massaged the other back to life. He spent long minutes going from one to the other as you whimpered softly, and when he finally stepped back he groaned deeply.

There were tear tracks in your make-up, and, where the wax had peeled and flaked away, large splotches marked your skin. Cillian was beyond turned on by the mere sight of you. So much so that he had to consciously get control of himself and breathe deeply.

‘How do you feel?’ he asked softly, reaching out to run a finger over your breast, flicking away some of the larger spots of wax.

‘Green again, I think’ you huffed and you couldn’t believe that, by that point, you were dripping onto the floor. To your surprise, the pain and Cillian pushing your limits turned you on.

‘So sensitive’ Cillian smiled as he played with your nipples again before he lowered his head and dropped a kiss on each one, still trying to regain control of his need to stop the game and just fuck you.

‘Please fuck me Cillian’ you begged, and every other thought about gaining control of his desires fled from Cillian's mind. He picked you up, turning you around and pushed you down over the bench you stood beside. He stepped behind you and thrust into you with a deep groan, stilling his movements for several minutes before pulling back, leaving only the head of his cock embedded in you.

‘You were so eager to have me finger fuck you earlier that you couldn't control yourself from pushing onto my hand. Let's see how well you can hold still now’ Cillian said, groaning deeply as he was all the way inside you and started to drip more wax onto your lower back, making you lurch forward again and turn your head, straining to see him and the candle he now held.

‘How are you feeling?’ he asked.

‘Green’ you replied automatically and the wax thankfully cooled fast in the small trickle that had run over the top of your ass and down your thigh.

You were desperate for traction, but he gave you none. You felt his cock pulsate inside of you as he poured more wax onto you. You didn't pull away quite so much this time and, for your good behaviour, you were rewarded with several long and steady thrusts, causing you to moan loudly.

You caught on to his game fairly rapidly and, the next time the wax dripped onto your skin, you remained still so that he would continue to fuck you.

Cillian enjoyed your whimpers and jerky movements as he used the wax several more times before finally losing his battle against himself and pushing you forward and pumping into you hard and fast. Aware that he had denied you continually earlier, he used his fingers on your clit and felt you stiffen and arch your back against him.

‘Sir, may I come, please’ you groaned just before the first of your climaxes rolled through your body.

‘Yes princess. You did well’ he finally said and his free hand gripped one of your breasts and held you in the strange hard arch as he continued to fuck you remorselessly, and he felt you shudder and cry out as your orgasm ripped through you.

‘Oh god yes fuck’ you moaned and screamed as you climaxed in a way you never had before and Cillian was soon losing his own battle against his orgasm, but he continued on; one hand working your clit and the other mauling your breast as he pounded you as hard as he could.

Then, another climax rocked you physically, almost causing you to pass out.

By this point, Cillian couldn’t hold on much longer either and, with a loud groan and two more thrusts, he came as hard as you did, spilling his cum deep inside you.

‘Fuck’ Cillian cursed, and with unknown reserves he picked you up and staggered to the bed, freeing you from the bonds on your arms and legs. He felt your pulse and checked your breathing before climbing onto the bed beside you and cradling you in his arms.

‘How are you feeling?’ he then asked, kissing your neck gently as he did.

‘Fucking fantastic’ you murmured as you watched Cillian look all over your body, taking in the marks he had left.

‘I want to do this again…the orgasm after all this, it was out of this world’ you huffed out.

‘I told you it was about pleasure and not just pain’ Cillian said before he groaned deep in his chest as his arousal began to grow again. He didn't think he could ever tire of having you like this.

‘Oh my, eager are we sir?’ you giggled as your breathing had finally returned to normal after all this and you sat up, leaned down and kissed Cillian passionately.

Without giving him a chance to assert dominance over you again, you were quick to climb on top of him and lower yourself down onto his hard cock.

To your surprise, he didn’t protest as you began to fuck him and his warm hands soon found your breasts where he flicked his fingers over your nipples.

‘Oh god, fuck’ you moaned as you rode him and felt the heat seep into your body and the tendrils of pain that radiated from your nipples spread out, helping you climb toward yet another huge climax.

Cillian dropped his hand and, taking careful aim, he spanked you, adding to the already bruised flesh of your ass. You whimpered and moaned, the combined sound once again coming out as a heated high-pitched purr as you rode him and ground down onto his cock. He alternated between the two areas, your breasts and your ass, and reached out to steady you as you arched hard, pushing down into him and shaking almost violently as you came again. The sight of you looking well used and trembling in ecstasy was enough for him to give into the milking muscles of your pussy. He came with you, coating your insides once more with his seed before pulling you down on top of him once your body had relaxed out of the hard arch, and he held you tightly, stroking your hair as you settled back down to earth along with him.

‘I never knew it could be this good’ you whispered as you stroked your hand over Cillian's chest and lay there listening to his racing heartbeat slow.

‘I must say, I never enjoyed it as much as I did tonight with you’ Cillian said gently before kissing you passionately once more.

‘How about we get some sleep, hmm?’ he then asked as he sat up and you momentarily thought that this is where you would be sleeping together.

To your surprise, Cillian was quick to pick you up and carry you upstairs to what clearly was his bedroom.

He then placed you onto the large bed, climbed in next to you and covered both your bodies with the large doona.

After spending aa good two hours together in the basement, you were exhausted and, after a few kisses it didn’t take you long to fall asleep in Cillian’s arm.

***

The following morning you both were woken up by the doorbell ringing at around 8 o’clock.

‘Are you expecting anyone?’ you asked still half asleep and Cillian shook his head before getting up and grabbing a t-shirt from his wardrobe.

‘Coming’ Cillian yelled out as the doorbell rang a second time and he was already on his way downstairs.

Unsure what was going on, you got dressed with whatever you found in Cillian’s cabinet and, when you heard the door for a second time after about ten minutes, you made your way downstairs thinking that, whoever came to visit, had now left.

To your surprise, this wasn’t the case when you saw two women stand in Cillian’s kitchen, making themselves a cup of coffee.

‘Oh hello there.... Cilly, you didn’t tell us you had company’ the blonde woman in her mid-sixties said with a wide a smile before introducing herself to you.

‘I am Leanne, Cillian’s mother’ she said as she quickly grabbed another cup from the cabinet for you.

‘I am Y/N, nice to meet you’ you said somewhat embarrassed before you recalled having seen the other woman who was standing in Cillian’s kitchen before. It was Cillian’s sister who he had dinner with at the restaurant that night he asked you out.

After Cillian introduced you to his sister, he mentioned to you that his mother likes to come and visit unannounced whenever she stays with his sister and the grandchildren.

‘Well darling, I just need to make sure my son is doing alright and has enough to eat’ she said with a wink as she unpacked a whole big rattan basket full of homemade scones, jam and some homemade bread.

‘I always told him that he needs a good woman in his life’ she then said as she walked over towards you and handed you one of the scones.

‘Scones for breakfast?’ Cillian chuckled as he watched his mother inspecting you.

‘Love, you have something stuck to your hair…may I?’ his mum then asked and you turned around which is when she pulled a bit of wax from the back of your neck and hair.

‘Looks like wax’ she then chuckled before putting the piece of candle wax on the kitchen bench.

Her actions caused you to flush with embarrassment and you hoped that she wouldn’t notice the marks on your legs and wrists from where the cuffs were affixed the evening before.

‘Well, Y/N does like candles’ Cillian smirked as he bit into his scone almost unbothered by his mother’s presence.

‘Oh Love, you should come to the farmers markets with us then. We are leaving at 10 o’clock. They have fantastic home-made candles for sale. Then you could come and have lunch with us. I always make a roast on Sundays’ Cillian’s mother suggested.

‘Mum’s roast is the best. Do you want to come? I might even come along to the markets, eh’ Cillian then said, catching you by surprise.

‘Yes, uhm…I would love to. Thank you’ you responded shyly.

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#cillian murphy smut #cillian murphy #Cillian Murphy x Reader #cillian murphy imagine

[koushou]

Can you please do zhongli/rex lapis x fem shy reader. The fem reader is extremely shy and doesn't have any friends cause of her quiet and timid nature and she lives in liyue with her parents and an only child. She loves to story of rex lapis and the history of liyue and accidentally meet zhongli and sometime later he revealed to be rex lapis to the reader. Also, the fem is a villager of liyue and doesn't have super powers to fight just a weak villager.

fateful meeting

pairing : zhongli x shy f!reader {fluff}

warnings : none

word count : 2.6k

a/n : thank you for this request! I apologize for the wait, I dont think i made the reader as shy as you requested jshdjd sorry, i hope you enjoy !

Even as a child you had been fascinated by the stories of Liyue, or rather, a specific figure in its history. Perhaps, the archons have heard your passionate nature regarding Liyue, for a fateful meeting one day will change your peaceful life forever. 

Life was everything you could’ve ever wished for.

Only the soft, consistent chopping of a knife against a wooden cutting board and an occasional quiet flip of a page in a book could be heard in one of the many homes in Qingce Village. 

Sunlight seeps through the cracks of the window you sat by, casting a bright glow on the words inside the book in your hands, seeming as if the story itself was coming to life.

Well, not that the story wasn’t coming to life, it had already come to life, for you were currently reading about the history of your beloved nation, Liyue.

The book you were so engrossed in was not an unfamiliar story, having already read it a couple times. You would never grow tired of this one.

A smile played on your lips as you approached one of your favorite parts of this specific chapter. 

Softly fiddling with the corner of the thin page, your eyes scanned over the familiar words slowly.

Wielding a spear so sharp no blade could even hope to compete against, he emerges from the shadows, illuminating a golden aura around his built figure. In one swift motion, the polearm-wielding fighter sends a rumble through the ground beneath him, ridding of any enemies around him in a flash. A sigh leaves his lips as he removes his hood, examining his surroundings. A long ponytail of golden-brown hair trails down to his waist, flowing softly in the wind. His eyes the same shade, if anything more golden, slowly fluttering shut, head turning upwards, immersing himself in the soft breeze.

You pause and gaze out the window, sighing at the scene of hundreds of miles of tall mountains spread out all around, all thanks to one person. One archon, to be more specific.

About to flip the page once more to continue, you were interrupted by your mother’s voice calling out from the kitchen. 

“Y/N, dear, could you fetch me some berries down the river if you aren’t busy?”

You tear your eyes away from the book begrudgingly, calling back, “Fine, anything else?”

“Some sweet flowers and fowl would be great, thanks honey!”

You shut the book, placing it down on your table as you stand up to stretch, bones cracking at the movement.

As much as you wanted nothing but to snuggle back into your chair and immerse yourself back into the story, your parents were the most important people in your life, and you knew it was mainly up to you to take care of them.

Being an only child isn’t as lonely as people make it out to be, you get peace and quiet in the home, and you wouldn’t change it for anything else.

Kicking on your shoes you wore when you ventured outside, you picked up the basket that was used to collect food, as well as your hunting bow for the fowl.

You didn’t know how to fight, having spent your whole life secluded in the village, but you had enough hunting experience, at least.

About to head out, your eyes landed on the book now laying on the table and pondered for a moment, before grabbing it and placing it into the basket.

Despite your mother’s scolding about dangers reading outside, you just wanted a change of scenery while you lose yourself in Liyue’s history.

“I’m heading out now, Ma!” You call out as you push open the wooden door to your home, earning a hum from her in response.

The heat in Liyue would be pretty unbearable to outsiders, however having lived in the same village for almost all your life, it wasn’t anything new.

You hummed, greeting your neighbors occasionally with a wave, walking down to your usual place to fetch ingredients.

Finally reaching your destination not too far from the village, you crouch by the river as you picked the sweet flowers and berries your mother had asked for.

“Mmm, what else did she ask for again?” You thought out loud, forgetting the last ingredient, eyes landing on your bow.

“Oh right, fowl!”

You scan your surroundings, looking for any signs of birds, when suddenly you hear a sharp rustle of a bush behind you. 

Not having time to even turn around and investigate, a heavy weight pounced on you from behind, causing you to tumble forward.

You let out a yelp, feeling a pain through your arm that you had landed on, turning around to see the attacker.

Your eyes widened, seeing it had been a hilichurl that was currently standing above you, however, it didn’t feel like a regular hilichurl.

It had black smoke emitting around it, as if some type of curse had been placed on it, enhancing its strength.

The hilichurl spurt out some unintelligible words, before raising its bat and lunging at you once again.

You grab your bow beside you quickly, aiming at its head before completely missing due to your shaking hands.

Cursing under your breath, you pick up a rock and throw it weakly at the creature, causing it to stop only briefly before charging towards you again, seemingly more angered this time. 

This was it, you thought. All the time spent not learning how to fight, this must’ve been your punishment. 

You shield your face with your arms, hoping to at least lessen the impact, before hearing the hilichurl shout followed by a thud behind you. 

Moving your hands away from your head, you turn to see the hilichurl now lying unconscious a few feet away from you.

“Are you hurt anywhere?” 

A deep, masculine voice brings you out of your shock, as you turn slowly to meet your savior, instead met by a hand held out in front of you, offering assistance. 

Your eyes trailed up to the mysterious man’s face, before your breath caught in your throat.

A long ponytail of golden-brown hair trails down to his waist, flowing softly in the wind.

The man looked back at you curiously, hand still reached out toward you.

His eyes the same shade, if anything more golden.

Why were you suddenly reminded of those words in the book?

Your mouth gapes at the sight of the man above you, his presence bringing a strange feeling you didn’t recognize.

Your eyes widened. Could it be..?

“...excuse me? Are you alright?”

His voice brings you out of your daze once again, a worried look cast upon his handsome features. Wait, what?

It was only then did you realize how good looking the man was before you, turning red as you took his hand and stood up, wobbling a tiny bit.

“Thank you for saving me,” you bow slightly, quickly picking up your forgotten belongings on the ground, still flustered from the incident.

You were about to say goodbye and leave as quick as you could, before your book fell out of your basket and landed on the ground next to the man’s feet.

“Ah—“

The man bent down and picked up the book, about to hand it back to you, when he suddenly stopped and examined the cover.

You swore you could’ve been seeing things, but a small smile grazes his lips as he faces you.

“Are you also interested in the stories of Liyue?”

You stop in your tracks, turning to the man who was now flipping through the pages of the book to the section you had bookmarked prior.

His golden orbs now held an unreadable expression behind them, almost...nostalgic.

You felt a small surge of confidence as your favorite topic was brought up.

“Ah--yes, I am quite informed of the history of Liyue myself,” you smile softly to yourself, causing him to look up and chuckle.

“Is that so?” He hums, tilting his head upwards to face the blue sky, closing his eyes slowly. 

...slowly fluttering shut, head turning upwards, immersing himself in the soft breeze.

Your eyes widened at the sight.

There was no way.

But, there was no other explanation for it.

“May I...ask your name?” You ask carefully, awaiting his answer.

He shuts the book with a soft thud, handing it back to you to which you take back happily.

“I go by Zhongli.”

He offers you a smile, making your heart skip a beat and blood to your cheeks, as you stutter back your name in response.

“Be careful around these parts, monsters have been affected by some sort of spell here, making them stronger than usual,” he explains while putting away his spear he had used earlier.

Wielding a spear so sharp no blade could even hope to compete against.

There was no mistaking it.

“Are you perhaps--” 

You start to ask, gaining a curious gaze from him, however stopping in your words after realizing how bizarre you’d sound if you’d ask him the question you had been aching to voice since your meeting.

“Nevermind, I should get going,” You shake your head, thanking him once more before starting to walk away.

“If you’d like me to answer your question, meet me back here tomorrow, at the same time.”

Zhongli spoke behind you, making you turn and meet his eyes, which gazed back into yours almost knowingly. 

“But you don’t know what my question is,” you question, confusion evident on your features.

He chuckles again, the sound making you melt on the spot.

“Do not underestimate the geo archon.” 

With that, he disappears into the other direction, leaving you frozen in your place.

Did he just…?

A million thoughts were coursing through your head at the moment. But one thing was for sure, you couldn’t wait until tomorrow. 

--

That night, sleep did not come to you like usual.

With your head filled with thoughts about Zhongli, and his last words before departing, you were basically shaking with excitement.

Had you really met him?

Nevermind, your questions would all be answered the next day.

--

“I see you’ve arrived.”

Zhongli smiles at you, to which you return the gesture, still mesmerized by his delicate features to speak.

You had practically jumped out of bed this morning, making some jumbled excuse about fetching more berries and fowl to your mother, who was left dumbfounded.

Zhongli pats the spot beside him on the grass, and you notice his spear laying next to him on the other side.

Carefully sitting down next to the tall man, both of your backs leaned against the tree with its leaves above you providing minimal cover from the sun. It was then that you noticed the close proximity of your bodies, making you flush.

“So, would you like to ask me your question from yesterday?”

You bit your bottom lip nervously for a moment, before shaking your head and reaching next to you into the bag that you had brought. 

“Ah-- before that, Mr. Zhongli, you mentioned you are also interested in Liyue’s stories?” You pulled out the book from yesterday. 

He nods, as you flip open the book to the chapter you had bookmarked. The same chapter describing Rex Lapis’s first appearance.

“Just Zhongli is fine. And yes, I am also well-informed of the stories of Liyue. Would you like me to tell you some?”

You nod, showing him the marked section. “That would be nice, but could you answer this one question of mine first?”

He takes the book from your hands, bright pupils scanning over the words. A small breeze blew by just that moment, causing his long hair to lift slightly. The sunlight shone softly on his pale skin, giving him an almost ethereal aura.

You never thought someone could appear so calm and peaceful while reading a book.

“Yes, ask away.” 

He lifts his head up to meet your eyes, making you clear your throat, embarrassed you had been admiring him so openly.

Although that chapter remains your favorite chapter of all times, there had been one question that had stayed in the corner of your mind each time you read it.

“In that section, when Rex Lapis lifts his head and immerses himself in the wind, what do you think he was feeling? Satisfaction from eliminating his enemies? Or perhaps, tired from all the fighting in the Archon War?”

Zhongli hums, smiling gently at nothing in particular as he closes his eyes, lifting his head up towards the sky.

A small breeze passes by again, and you smile at the sight. You no longer questioned his true identity. You knew.

“That all may be true, however, I’d say he was feeling quite…” He pauses, as if trying to search for the right word.

“...saddened, almost.”

You tilt your head curiously, “Saddened?”

He nods, facing you, “Perhaps mournful, even. Have you ever wondered if Rex Lapis wanted to kill at all? Although those evil should be eliminated, they are still living souls, and perhaps he wished for everything to return to normal.”

Zhongli’s voice trailed off, as he held a sad feeling behind his eyes, making you unconsciously reach for his hand laying on his lap.

He looked at you in surprise at the sudden contact, and your eyes widened at your own actions, making a move to quickly retrieve your own hand, when he stops you.

 He brings the both of your hands together, now laying on his lap as red spreads through your cheeks.

The both of you sit in silence as a few beats pass, when he breaks the silence once again.

“I’d like to share with you some of my favorite stories of Liyue, would you be interested?”

You smile, nodding as he starts speaking again.

And he shares stories you’ve never heard before, or even some that you have, but a different version of. The difference in stories that you had believed your whole life made you surprised, not sure what to believe.

No, scratch that, deep down, you knew what to believe. Or, who to believe.

Zhongli shares his stories until it starts to become dark, to which he finally stops and suggests you return home.

“I’ll walk you home, it’s quite dangerous at night.”

You thank him, and you two start to make your way back, continuing to talk about Liyue and its fascinating history.

“Ah, it’s just right down there. Thank you for today, Zhongli.” You smile at him once again, ready to return before he stops you.

“Are you not going to ask me the question you had yesterday?” It was quite dark, so it was a bit difficult to tell, but you swore there was a slight smirk on his lips.

You laugh, shaking your head. “I’ve got my answer already.”

He raises his eyebrows, a teasing hint in his voice, “Are you sure, Y/N?”

Hearing your name roll off his tongue sent shivers through your body, smirking back at him.

“I’m quite sure, Rex Lapis.”

Zhongli opens his mouth to speak before closing, as deep chuckles ring through the night. Not long after, your own quiet giggles joining him. Finally, you both recover from your laughter.

“Goodnight then, Morax, you still have to share your stories with me tomorrow.”

He smiles at you, golden eyes shining even through the dark. “Same time?”

You grin back, before turning to return back to your home. “Same time.”

Maybe you’d ask him to teach you how to fight tomorrow.

On second thought, perhaps your lack of experience in fighting was a good thing. For because of it, you had met the man who only existed in books that you’d read everyday.

Your once peaceful life, although disrupted by the appearance of the one and only geo archon you admired so dearly, had now offered you something to look forward to each day.

#zhongli x reader #zhongli x female reader #zhongli x reader fluff #zhongli fluff #rex lapis x reader #genshin rex lapis #morax x reader #genshin morax #zhongli oneshot #rex lapis fluff #genshin x reader #genshin fluff #genshin x reader fluff #genshin zhongli #genshin oneshot

[theotheroccassionalfanficwriter]

Amidst the Snow Covered Mountains

Summary: You had always believed that after the death of your lover, you would forever wear your red robes as penance for a promise you failed to keep. Your heart had died with him and your time would forever remain frozen. And then Tartaglia arrived in your life, like a sun that melted the snow.

Rating: G

A/N: Heavily inspired by Mo Dao Zu Shi and Tian Guan Ci Fu.

The cold air of Snezhnaya was colder than the air atop the mountain peaks in Jueyun Karst. But the years you’ve spent in service of the Fatui made you acclimated to the cold air that nipped at your nose. Your clothes, a fusion of Snezhnaya and Liyue fashion, were magically enhanced to keep your body in perfect temperature regardless of climate. The fox fur that lined the hems of your sleeves and robes added a regal air to your already noble nature. It made you more aloof and unapproachable compared to the other Harbingers, adding upon your age that was closer to the Tsaritsa’s, not even most of your fellow Harbingers dared to speak informally with you.

Of course, you weren’t spared from the scheming and backstabbing but they were more likely to do it politely or without any crassness. The exception to all of this was Tartaglia, the newly inducted 12th Harbinger. He was a human born to be a warrior, the battlefield was his home and you made no secret of your admiration for his skills.

It was perhaps the reason why he often followed you around like a tail, not that you cared, the human was talkative and yet he was undeniably a genius in fighting. He was also frustratingly obsessed with fighting you despite never winning in any spar, though you appreciated his offers, he brought no challenge to you.

“...Tartaglia, don’t you have to drill your men?” You asked him, your robes immaculate while his were dirtied from the ground and your pyro vision.

Your forehead ribbon fluttered in the cold wind as you remained standing in front of Tartaglia’s collapsed body.

“Columbina,” He panted “at this point you should be offering to help me stand up!”

You couldn’t help the small smile on your lips at hearing him whine. 

“Wait! Did you just smile?”

You ignored his question in favor of walking away, “Stand up, It’s dinner time.”

“Wait for me! Archons, why are you so keen on keeping a regular schedule!” Tartaglia whined as he got up and ran after you, arms slung on your shoulder as both of you walked through Snezhnaya’s eternal winter.

Snezhnaya was colder than the place you used to call home but it with Tartaglia beside you, chattering senselessly in your ear, warmed you better than Fú Shě’s presence.

--

Your existence as an Adeptus, a former Yaksha, was never a secret among the Fatui. It was merely something that no one mentioned to your face, it was acknowledged but never talked about. It meant that Tartaglia asking you about it had thrown you off guard. Strong enough that your usual impassive face had shown emotion.

“Do they discriminate against you for being a Yaksha?!” Tartaglia asked, indignant over an imagined slight.

Something warmth unfurls in your chest but you are quick to dismiss it in favor of grabbing Tartaglia’s collar and stopping him from marching out of your home and into the Palace.

“No. I was just surprised that you’d ask about my past” You replied, voice deceptively calm.

Once Tartaglia returned to his seat, you did the same and took a sip from your honey lemon tea. It had been years since you last thought of your past, the home you left behind and the everything you once held dear. The steam of the tea curls around in the air, the soft muffled sounds of the city filling the silent room of your living area.

You take another sip and began telling your story, “ I used to be part of a Yaksha clan, we were contracted to Rex Lapis for the purpose of quelling the lingering hatred of Liyue’s fallen gods…”

“I was the younger sibling of one of the Foremost Yaksha, thus there were expectations of me rising up to his prestige,” You smiled fondly at the memories, unaware of the sadness that lingered in your eyes “Despite that neither I nor my brother felt any bitterness towards each other. Though I am in his shadows, I know my own worth. My talent lies not in slaughter but in helping them gain peace.”

“As a Yaksha, I travelled around Liyue, village to village, quelling grudges upon grudges. There were times I would cross paths with other Yakshas, sometimes we fought together, sometimes each other. But all of it was for fulfilling our duty,” You took another sip of tea, exhaling as your mind easily drew up the memories you’ve hidden.

You told him, skirting around some details, about your past and how it led you to Snezhnaya. You talked and talked, offering him bits and pieces of a past that left a festering wound in your heart. It was an odd feeling, for someone like you who preferred to be silent, to be talking for so long.

But it was hard not to, not when Tartaglia looked at you with eyes that brightened at your tales, from your battles to your previous mundane life. Eventually the conversation drifted away from your past and to Liyue’s culture and traditions, you answered every question Tartaglia had. From the serious ones to the silly ones, letting him see the Liyue from your memories.

“One of your clan’s specialty was music cultivation,” You revealed to him as your hand absentmindedly fed him cookies, a muscle memory from the past “My brother played the dizi though he preferred to use a sword to fight.”

“And you?”

“A guqin.”

Tartaglia hums, voice soft and inquisitive. You wait for his question.

“Columbina, if I learn to play a dizi, would you play with me?” He asked, almost shy and it makes your heart feel something between pain and comfort.

“Mn.”

Tartaglia’s presence in your life becomes more apparent after that day. And annoyingly, it takes Pulcinella pointing it out for you to notice.

“Tartaglia hasn’t been bothering you, has he?” Pulcinella asked, voice deceptively uncaring.

You blinked at him, the only evidence of your confusion at his question. You knew that for all of Pulcinella’s claims to have no lingering affection for Tartaglia, it was a well-hidden lie. He had after all raised that child, even if it was across the battlefield.

“No.” 

You left, pace unhurried and face emotionless. The weight of Pulcinella’s stare on your back is heavy but you didn’t care for it. You had a scheduled spar with Tartaglia, and you knew he was more bearable if he got beaten up. 

Your arrival in the sparring grounds designated for you and Tartaglia is marked with the sudden silence and loss of familiarity among the lower ranks. It was amusing seeing him momentarily at loss until he turns around and smiles at you, bright and welcoming that it almost makes you falter in your steps. It has been a long time since your presence has been greeted like that.

“Have you warmed up?” You asked as your loyal left hand comes over and takes away your outer robe and gently drapes it over her arms.

Your forehead ribbon flutters in the cold wind, your sword steady in your hand as you stood a few paces away from Tartaglia. It was a clear declaration of challenge, one you would not have done if you had remained within the confines of your clan, if your brother had not left you alone.

But Tartaglia inspires change, he is a breath of fresh air, and when he smiled at you, sharp and just as excited, it makes your blood rush. Reminiscent of the bright summer days in Liyue that you spent with your clan and fellow Yakshas. Bold and carefree.

Tartaglia was an excellent fighter, one that would only grow stronger as time goes by and though he poses no challenge to you right now. He is still a force to be reckoned with, his moves does not allow you to loosen your guard. To fight in the same ease as you would when faced with other Harbingers or the monsters that littered Teyvat. Tartaglia fights with everything that he has, gives his all in every battle he finds himself in.

He is born to be a warrior and you respect that. So you do the same, you treat every spar as if you were up against old gods, curses given to life. You fight seriously and with everything you have because Tartaglia was worth it. He deserves nothing less.

In the end, it ends as it always does. Tartaglia on the ground, your sword at his throat. Your forehead ribbon, immaculate, and your robes free of dirt and yet you could tell that he had gotten stronger, from the slow and unnoticeable labored breathing of your body.

“Yield.”

Tartaglia smiles and in a split second you dodge a hydro aimed at your throat, eyes widening at his new attack that you don’t notice how the hydro dagger had loosened your forehead ribbon until it falls right before your eyes.

‘Your forehead ribbon,’ Your father explains, voice soft and firm but no less loving, ‘can only be removed by your spouse.’

What falls to the ground isn’t the familiar white of your clan’s clothes. It had been thousand of years since you last wore the white robes of your clan. 

‘You wear white all year round! There’s nothing to mourn and yet you act like there is!’ His voice, playful and whining, ‘When we get married are you going to wear white as well?’

The memories come unbidden to your mind. Unpleasant and painful. You could only stare in horror as the red ribbon dropped to the ground, it was the highest quality of silk, golden threads forming the shape of qingxin where clouds used to be. 

“Columbina?”

You leave in a flutter of red robes, forehead ribbon tightly gripped in your hand as you try to escape from the memories you’ve buried deep. You are no longer part of your clan, in name and genealogy, but still you follow its rules and tradition. It was deeply ingrained in you, down to your marrow, that to do so felt odd.Though you have gone lax as the years go by, there were still some rules you strictly adhered to. The forehead ribbon would always be one of them. Though the meaning had changed it was in essence still the same.

‘The forehead ribbons symbolizes our restraint. It is the symbol of our commitment to be free from worldly desires’ Your father explained as he tied your forehead ribbon, ‘It means that though we have forsaken all, it is them we chose not to.’

You stand, a top of Snezhnaya’s frozen mountain, inside a cave you’ve built for seclusion. There are no paths leading to it, only accessible to those like you or the Cryo Archon you worked for. You meditate on the floor, hand still tightly gripping the forehead ribbon.

You think of him, the gentle blue of his robes and his eyes that yearned for strong opponents. You think of the silent promise you made when you left your clan, struck out your name from the genealogy and bowed before Rex Lapis in acknowledgement of your actions.

White for mourning.

Red for a promise left unfulfilled.

You meditate and think of your past actions, refusing to call them wrongs, because you had only ever sought to follow your clan’s principles to the best of your heart. And to stay true to your beloved, to stand on their side, and protect them was no wrong.

--

“It’s been a long time since I heard you play your zither” she greets as she steps into your cave, easily by passing your seals, and stopping right in front of you.

You don’t stop playing the ever familiar notes of Inquiry, absent of any spiritual energy. She sat herself on the stool by the side, listening and waiting for you to finish your song. 

“Has it?” You asked as you put away your guqin, carefully setting it aside on a table specifically made for it.

“Yes. It’s been years since you last played a song on Sīzhuī.”

You tried to recollect your memories, giving her thoughts the consideration it deserved and you found that she was right. It had been years since you last played Inquiry, your last memory of playing it was the night before Tartaglia’s arrival in the Palace, under Pulcinella’s tutelage.

“It seems so” You finally answered, before moving away from your instrument and opting to serve her tea. If only to calm your shaken heart.

“Tartaglia was worried” she spoke as if recounting a normal tale, “enough that he had personally asked me for your whereabouts.”

You say nothing as you wait for the water to boil.

“He looked like he was about to cryー”

You level her a look that clearly states your disbelief and she laughs, continues her words, “or maybe terrorize the local wildlife of Snezhnaya’s mountains to find you.”

That you can agree with. Tartaglia had always been the sort to figure things out before letting his emotions run through him. You appreciated that part of him, and can rely on him when your understanding of people falls short.

“Why?”

“He found out the meaning of your forehead ribbon, and from what I’ve heard you were positively stricken with grief when it came undone.”

It wasn’t a lie but still you felt uneasy at the way she said. As if she knew the exact memory that filled your mind when you saw it come undone and yet her words felt like it had underlying meanings.

“Come out of seclusion and pacify him. He’s stalking down my hallways and I like my palace calm and quiet.” 

You looked at her, “If you truly did, you would have not accepted Tartaglia.”

She smiled at you and said nothing. A silent acknowledgement of a shared fondness for a Harbinger that wrought chaos in his wake. She leaves your cave after securing a promise of coming down after a few more days of meditation.

You watch her leave and think of how despite no longer loving her people, she still cared for them deep within the festering wounds of her heart.

--

Your return is marked with a bright day absent of the usual snowfall. Your red robes are immaculate, forehead ribbon tied perfectly tight on your head, your sword in hand. You walk the familiar halls of Zapolyarny Palace with your held high and back straight. 

Your ribbon flutters in the air as you walk, your long hair swaying in tandem. Your feet takes you to Tartaglia’s wing, to his office where you knew he would be at this time of the day. Dealing with paperwork he loathes but still does because he was a responsible leader for all of the chaos he wreaks.

You knock thrice, and step back on hearing the crash and dash of feet heading towards the door. The thought of your knock being distinct to him makes your chest feel warm.

“You’re back!” Tartaglia cries out as he throws away decorum to hug you in the middle of the hallway. Uncaring of who might hear him or see his action.

You offer no response beyond hugging him. Your hand on his back, patting his much taller form and simply letting him seek whatever it was that he found in you.

“I’m sorry” Tartaglia says, voice soft, in the privacy of his office. 

Years ago you would not have forgiven anyone who dared to do what he had done. Years ago you would have been struck with anger and grief but the years spent away from Liyue had healed your wounded heart, time had lessened the pain you felt from his departure and Tartaglia had softened you in ways you were only beginning to realize.

“No need” You told him, as he laid his head on your lap, face curled up on your stomach.

Years ago, you would not have dared to act so close to anyone in this way. Years ago, the only person who could make you show your heart easily had left. Now, it was easy to allow yourself a simple show of affection towards Tartaglia. A delicate dance of things unsaid and actions speaking louder.

The sight of Tartaglia’s hair against the red of your robes was an image that you wouldn’t forget so easily. You think of the Tsaritsa’s words, of Tartaglia almost crying and you can believe it, in the way he curls his hand on your robes like a child hating to part ways.

You gently card your fingers through his hair, thinking deeply, of what all of this meant. His head on your lap, your hand in his hair, this intimacy that settles well in your bones, the unspoken trust he held for you from the first day he arrived in the palace. The change from that battle-crazy teen to the young man that was a finely honed weapon of war that stood as your equal.

“I was afraid you know,” Tartaglia looked at you through his long lashes “that you’d end up hating me or leaving forever.”

You said nothing.

“There were records─of you and your past─nothing substantial but enough if one knew the ins and outs of the story” Tartaglia’s hand curled tightly on your robes, crinkling it in his tight grasp, “I didn’t know.”

“No one did” You replied.

And it was the truth. No one knew how much you cared for that bright eyed human who feared no one. Not even you knew the lengths you would have gone for him, not until you’ve slaughtered your way towards him in a vain attempt to save him.

No one until Tartaglia had been able to piece the missing pieces. To learn the truth behind the red of your robes and the deep scars on your back. It felt like a weight off your shoulders. To be known without speaking the painful truths, putting into words what had transpired that day in Nantianmen. 

“I’ll be more careful when sparring with you.”

“No need.”

You looked into his eyes, “You’re most beautiful when untamed.”

The red that bloomed in his face was your favorite shade of red.

--

From that moment onwards, it was rare to see you without Tartaglia right next to your side. It meant that the two of you were always sent out together across the seven nations with the exception of Liyue. Tartaglia left stories in his wake, about his battle prowess, and adding more to his myths in Snezhnaya.

With him by your side, few people paid attention to you. As it should, Tartaglia was meant to shine brightly, eclipsing the entire room with his presence. Despite that, you made your way into his tales, stories speculating, judging, your relationship with him.

“Lovers” the bards from Mondstadt claim.

“Sworn brothers” the story tellers from Liyue insist.

“Soulmates” the poets from Fontaine declared.

“Aibou” the rakugo masters from Inazuma tell.

“Taw'am roHi” the scholars from Sumeru assert.

“Iyakiciyuha” Natlan’s storytellers announce.

“Rodstvennuyu dushu” Snezhnayan minstrels whisper.

The speculations didn’t bother you as much as what it could do to your relationship with Tartaglia. You cared for him, considered him as a friend and a reliable ally. You wouldn’t want this fragile sort of intimacy between the two of you to be tarnished by 

For all of your supposed aloofness, you cared deeply for him and in extension everything related to him. It meant that his opinion mattered.

“Does it bother you?” Tartaglia had asked, eyes uncharacteristically serious, as he sat on your bed.

You paused and then replied, “It would if it affected us the way we are right now.”

“I see.”

And that was the end of it. Nothing changed, Tartaglia stuck to you like glue and you remained at his side, partnering with him to minimize the fall out of his chaos, fighting with him side by side until both of you could effortlessly fight together in battle like one mind in two bodies.

Tartaglia spent more time in your room during missions until it was more sensible to room together during work trips if only to avoid wasting money for a room that was mostly unused. Then it bled to your private life where Tartaglia opted to spend his time in your home on short holidays rather than travel back to Morepesok.

Which led to meeting some of his siblings, the youngest three had taken a shine to you. It was odd and fascinating to see three young look-alikes of Tartaglia, calling him Ajax. It was even more fascinating seeing him blunder about, desperately trying to hide his real job from his siblings and his former name from you.

You drive their attention away by mentioning your gifts and Tartaglia offers you a grateful smile. The siblings spent time in your home, making a mess out of it and you laugh Tartaglia’s worries away.

“It makes this place look lived in” You told him just as Anton abandons Sīzhuī in favor of your drums.

Tartaglia said nothing to that, only staring at you in a way that you can’t quite understand. But as quickly as you caught his look, it disappeared just as well with Teucer barreling to your legs.

The rest of his siblings visit descend into mayhem, a welcome one, there are demands for toys and adventures, and you grant all of it. You have been in service of the Tsaritsa for a long time and barely had any worldly desires to be able to make a dent on your savings. You are arguably the richest Harbinger alive. Spending your dusty money for a child’s happiness was worth it.

Tartaglia’s grateful smile was worth it.

The warm feeling in your heart that takes days to dissipate after their departure was worth it.

Tartaglia permanently living with you was worth it. 

--

“Our clan loves deeply,” Your father once said, voice somber and looking at a painting of a mother you’ve never met “almost like a curse.”

You didn’t understand until the day came when you changed your white robes for red ones.

--

Tartaglia was a complex character. A human who keeps you on your toes and leaves you wanting more and more until it becomes impossible to keep yourself away from worldly desires. Five thousand nine hundred and eighty six years of cultivation practice that abstains from worldly desires went down the drain when you met him.

You didn’t even know.

Tolerance gave way to fondness.

Fondness to love.

You didn’t know when your time started moving forward again, when remembering no longer brought pain and sorrow. By the time you noticed it, it was too late.

You could no longer escape from it, no path of retreat left, not when his touch brings you warmth. Not when he looks at you so softly, so fond with his bright blue eyes that it feels too much. Not when his absence feels like a loss of limb, not when necessity dictates a separation.

There is no other word for this.

And so, you play Sīzhuī in the night and meditate.

Love is a curse and Tartaglia only deserves the blessings of the world.

--

Tartaglia, Ajax as he was called back then, remembers growing up hearing the stories about an Adeptus in Snezhnaya, it was the talk of the town and every adult knew the story that was passed down.

The adeptus, male, with red robes that was too thin for Snezhnaya’s climate showed up with the Tsaritsa. His hair was inky black and flowed like silk, his eyes were gold if it was melted, his skin was perfect. Tartaglia remembered the stories that his father told him about you, your fights that left a mark in Snezhnaya’s history, strategies that had every scholar from Sumeru debating endlessly on its merits and demerits, but what remained deeply etched in his heart and memory was a story only known to their family.

You had saved his father, once in his youth as an adventurer, there was an avalanche and his father had resigned himself to death. Only to be saved at the last minute by you. You had came in, standing on your sword, red robes fluttering in the wind as you scooped his father up and away from the path of the avalanche and into safety.

No words were exchanged.

You left just as quickly as you came. Back straight and hair fluttering in the wind, very much like the noble heroes depicted in Liyue’s literature.

And Ajax had wanted that, had dreamt of fighting with you side by side as an equal, and then dreamt of you. His fall to the abyss did nothing to dampen that desire, it only served to fuel him further, his ambition becoming a tangled mess of wanting adventures, getting stronger and at the heart of it all you.

He’s thrown into the Fatui and then he meets you. 

Every story told about you describes you in the same way, a handsome adeptus who wore red clothes and a forehead ribbon with golden qingxin embroidered in it. The thing is no one mentioned the weight of your stare, to have molten gold eyes to look at you from above and make you feel as if you were lowly.

It was what Ajax felt when he had arrived in the Palace, what Tartaglia felt when he became a Harbinger.

It doesn’t curb down his desire though. It only spurred him on, made him want to have myths and legends created about him, to match the ones you’ve left in the annals of history, until his name, his title becomes synonymous with yours.

The thing is nothing was as good as the real deal. Everyone told him about your golden words, how you rarely speak unless absolutely necessary, how you were cold and aloof and the thing is they are so so wrong.

There is nothing aloof or cold about you.

Your words are golden but Tartaglia can hear your unspoken words from the curve of your lips to the small frown of your face and even the glint of your eyes.

And it thrills him.

To know you in such a way that no one ever would. The entire world can have your myths and legends but Tartaglia? He would have you, the realest version of you that has preferences and quirks and gets drunk so easily that it leaves his heart gasping and insides twisting from the sheer amount of fondness you evoke from him.

He loves you, from the start, he thinks.

And then the forehead ribbon happened and for the first time Tartaglia was at loss, hurt and fearful and definitely bloodthirsty. The grief and shock in your eyes, the visible pain when you saw your ribbon at the ground had him panicking.

The win felt bitter in his tongue, as he watched your red robes flutter away with each quick step you took away from him. He stared dumbly at your retreating back and regrets. Your disappearance feels like years when in reality it was months but still Tartaglia wreaks enough chaos and havoc in his wake that had the Tsaritsa calling him back and then receives the story.

It wasn’t a complete one but it was enough.

It takes several trips to Snezhnaya’s mountains and a couple of manmade avalanches before the Tsaritsa takes one look at him and orders him to stay in his office until your return. And Tartaglia does his best to not look like a child sent to be grounded but it was hard, even his dedication to his duty could not stand to his desire to fly to your side and remain there but he relents.

And only when Pulcinella had revealed that no human would be able to access your cave because it was on top of Snezhnaya’s tallest mountain.

So he resigned himself to waiting. He resigned himself to whatever it was you would do once you returned, resigned himself to lose you because Tartaglia is many things but he was never one to hurt his loved ones.

And then as always you overturn his expectations, you welcome him, you forgive him and then you make him fall for you all over again and Tartaglia resents you a little bit for it.

(It was a lie, he could never bring himself to resent you.)

The change started from there, he tests the waters, gauging how much you can take before you drew a line before him. He stands too close to you, hands on your waist or any other body part, sleeps in your room during away missions more often than not until the two of you begin sharing a room then a bed. You don’t care about the rumors, the speculations, you love his siblings and Tartaglia could see a future with you.

And then Liyue happens.

-- 

It goes like this, you are assigned to oversee the operation in Liyue and Tartaglia is to take the Gnosis. He reports his findings to you and you give him leads.

He follows and eventually befriends the funeral parlor consultant. Then he learns about you. Snippets of a history written in blood and separation of lovers, and between father and son. Just as you’ve left your traces in Snezhnaya’s history, you’ve left your touch in Liyue’s tea houses.

And it leaves a bitter taste of jealousy in Tartaglia’s mouth.

He thinks of your guqin, named Sīzhuī, meaning to remember. 

He thinks of your new red robes sans the fur, your red forehead ribbon. 

“The adeptus had loved the mortal man enough to slaughter his way through 100 clan elders to save a single mortal who walked away from the path of righteousness.” 

He thinks of everything you gave up for one man and Tartaglia wants that for himself.

And yet he does nothing about it. Instead he devotes himself to the mission, enjoys the time between preparing for his next move and doing his day job at the bank with spending it with either you or Zhongli. He doesn’t ask you about the little details in your life during your tenure as an Adeptus.

He doesn’t ask the questions he wants.

Because above all, Tartaglia had always respected you so he waits until you can tell him everything. In the end, it takes a fight between the two of you before it happens.

--

“I don’t want to involve the weak.” 

“...I’ll draft up another plan then.”

--

Any other person would have been hurt by the lies, the deception, and the manipulation. Tartaglia isn’t any other person.

He is rational and meticulous when it comes to his job as a Harbinger, and he recognizes this event as part of it. It chafes at him but ultimately he can carry on with this blight in his reputation. And that was the thing, it was supposed to be blight in his, not yours.

Not the romanticized hero Liyue made you out to be, not the upright and honorable Harbinger you are.

Tartaglia can take it. He can afford being used as a scapegoat, can weather out his role as a villain in Liyue’s history. He cannot, will not, however allow your reputation to be tarnished.

He rages, he schemes, he makes a scene but all of it is for nothing. Not when it's your scheme he is up against, not when you were so determined to make yourself a villain in this story. And for the first time, Tartaglia saw how big the gap between the two of you were. He thinks three steps ahead and you think ten.

He is no match at all and it burns him. Enough so that Zhongli had noticed and commented on it,

“Is it not better this way for you?”

“Xiansheng,” Tartaglia bites out “I’d rather not have them suffer at all.”

And it was the truth. Tartaglia would rather have his name drag through the mud than let you experience the scorn of the people you once sought to protect. 

Zhongli gives him a considering look and Tartaglia does his best to settle his agitation, to be calm as you once instructed him. Eventually Zhongli speaks,

“It is their good fortune to have met you in this lifetime” He takes a sip of his tea, staring into the cup, “Have you considered the reason behind their action?”

Tartaglia thinks of the stories of the romance between you and your former almost husband. The 100 lashes that left a deep scar on your back, your eventual departure from your clan and the service of Rex Lapis. He thinks of the shape of your love and it leaves him reeling.

He leaves a mora pouch on the table and makes his way to you, to your side and he wants to beg for forgiveness, to demand you to stop because Tartaglia does not require your sacrifice.

He just wants you.

--

Years ago, you resigned yourself to never step foot in this place. Accepted that perhaps Liyue would never be your home from the moment everything you held dear slipped through your fingers.

But Fate was a funny thing.

Here you stood in the ancestral hall, sitting before your Father and Mother’s stone tablet. Staring blankly at the curling smoke of the incense with a heavy heart filled with regrets.

Your cousin sits beside you, the clan leader after your departure and Fú Shě’s eventual ascension.

“Uncle regretted it.”

“Mn.”

“The night before he died, he called me in his room. I wasn’t born yet when you left or when tang ge disappeared but I grew up hearing stories of you.”

You gave her a sad smile.

She laughs it off, a rare personality among your reticent clansmen, it was a welcome one, “You were somewhere between a cautionary tale and someone to look up to. The clan elders said that your love was the perfect example of what it means to love deeply and what it means to suffer for it.”

You watch her twiddle her thumbs, exhale and continue on, “Uncle told me that if one day you returned, he wanted you to be written back to the clan genealogy. He regretted punishing you for what you did. That he made it seem like you had to leave with nothing on you except your savings.”

“We are cultivators, I would have survived nonetheless with my meager savings.”

“You shouldn’t have” She insists, and their is righteousness in her eyes, in her conduct, in her bones, that empathizes with the people “I can’t condone you for killing 100 of our clan elders but I can understand why you did what you have to do.”

You smiled at her, feeling the knot in your heart disappear. Because this was what you had wanted back then, when faced with the option to uphold your duty or abandon your beloved. You just wanted to be understood for your actions, to not be painted in any other light beyond loving someone deeply. There was no righteousness or depravity.

There was only you seeing your beloved suffering persecution and wanting to save them.

“Thank you.”

She smiles at you and just like that years of grievances are put to rest. There is no father, no mother, or brother to return to but your heart is at ease and free of suffering. You look at your cousin, the clan leader, and asked her,

“What should I call you?”

She smiled and answered, “Birth name Xīnjiān, courtesy name Zhīyuàn.”

“Xīnjiān to have a strong heart, and Zhīyuàn to know peace” You showed your appreciation for her name, praising it, “This clearly shows your parents' wishes for you. To have a heart that never wavers and to always be at peace.”

You look up to your parents' stone tablet, at your brother’s mini statue and silently bid them farewell and an apology. To your cousin you say, “The clan is in good hands, with you at the helm even the disappearance of Rex Lapis would not hinder the clan's future.”

This time you leave your clan home, not with a barely healed back, a broken heart and grim determination. Instead you step out of the gate with your back straight and head held high, your robes are still red, your forehead ribbon still bearing the golden qingxin.

You are welcome to return but you knew deep in your heart that your home lies elsewhere. There was no need to have your tarnished reputation to blacken your clan’s doors.

You slowly walk your way down, the golden gingko leaves falling as the winds rustle the branches. You think of your past, the choices you made and the choices you will make. Despite the uncertainty of what the future holds your footsteps are light as you walk down the thousand steps of your former home.

“Our clan loves deeply,” Your father once said, voice somber and looking at a painting of a mother you’ve never met “almost like a curse.”

And then he turned to you with a smile, equal parts sad and happy, “but with the right person it is a blessing.”

“Bàbà, what do you mean?”

“It means that with the right person our love would not cause suffering either to us or to our spouse.”

Tartaglia stood at the bottom of the stairs looking up to you, and then he ran up the stairs meeting you halfway and closing the gap between the two of you.

You understood then what your father had meant, that day in his study.

--

At the end of it all, Tartaglia asks the one question he had always feared,

“Do you still love him?”

You clutch his hand tight and answered, “Always. But it doesn’t mean I don’t love you either.”

Tartaglia doesn’t speak.

“I’ll always love him, but it isn’t the same way as it was then. I used to think that I’d never be able to love again, that my time had stopped when they died,” You’re too afraid to look at Tartaglia so you settle your sights on the scenery in front of you “and then I met you. Without realizing it, my time started moving forward and this heart of mine started beating again.”

You smiled and intertwined his fingers with yours, hands tightly clasped together as if fearing separation.

“To have met you, in the lowest point of my life, is my greatest fortune.” 

And it was the truth. You didn’t know what you would have done if Tartaglia hadn’t appeared in your life that day. If he hadn’t pestered you.

He pulls you back to him and you let yourself be pulled, crashing into his chest.

“I love you” He declares “I want to spend everyday with you, crossing swords with you, I want to be the first thing you see in the morning and the last thing you see at night.”

He lifts your face, hand gently holding it and stares deep into your golden eyes and bares his heart out for you, “I don’t need you to sacrifice yourself for me, I just want you.”

You looked at him with astonishment, your face burning bright red from his admission.

“Columbina, back then I’ve always wanted to sleep with you!”

The two of you stood at the other end of the terrace occupied by Zhongli and the Traveler. You could bear to look at him, not when your head felt light and your heart felt like it could fly up any moment. Not when it felt like you can ascend right now from the sheer happiness of Tartaglia loving you back.

“I’ve never been in love before. I-I know that I can’t compare to him but for me it has only ever been you! I love you, I fancy you, I cherish you! I want you more than I want to dominate the world! I can’t live without you!”

“...”

Tartaglia took your hand and placed it on his chest, above his heart, “You told me once, if I can’t tell by the face then listen to the heart. Then listen to mine. I want to do it with you every day. This isn’t just me joking or a momentary fancy. I just love you so much that I want to sleep with you, I can’t feel this way towards anyone else but you!”

Through his warm chest, and rough fabric of his uniform, you felt the rapid beating of his heart.

“Columbina, I want to do everything with you, you can do anything to me and I’d accept it as long as you’re willing!”

“...willing…” You mumbled, head bent and hair covering the sides of your face.

“That’s right! I’m willing to accept anything you do to me!”

You stepped closer to him, curling up in his arms and Tartaglia saw the red tip of your ears and slowly, ever so slowly it dawned on him as you spoke clearly with a slight tremble in your voice,

“I am willing.” 

You smiled, soft and small that one would almost think they were seeing things but they weren’t. Even as an adeptus you had rarely smiled, few people over the course of your life had seen you smile. They could even be counted on one hand.

But today, Tartaglia saw you smile like a glaze lily that was unfurling its petals at night.

Zhongli, the Traveler, Paimon, and countless others who were looking your way were stunned into silence. No one expected to see you smile after Osial’s release, and the Qixing’s announcement.

【Folklore】

There is a famous statue of lovers in Liyue and Snezhnaya, two immortals facing each other, one holding a forehead ribbon on his hand and the other holding the other immortal’s hand on his.

The two statues depicted Tartaglia the Warrior, and Hǎiān Xuězhù Zhēnjūn. It is said that worshiping one statue alone would bring misfortune. Don’t believe it? Then rub the forehead ribbon on Tartaglia’s hand, kowtow three times to Hǎiān Xuězhù Zhēnjūn and then propose to your lover only to get turned down.

Or buy a lottery ticket, rub Tartaglia’s hand and then wait for the results only to miss out on the jackpot. Therefore, if one wasn’t particular in worshipping the two it was better to stay away from them and just show your respects from afar.

However, if you were to worship them both together, offer them a cup of nuptial wine then a miracle would happen. The two would expel each other’s misfortune and bring forth twice the fortune.

Legends say that the reason for this was that the two immortals had loved each other deeply, Hǎiān Xuězhù Zhēnjūn was said to be willingly sacrifice himself for Tartaglia, and Tartaglia was said to be unwilling in letting his beloved suffer. Therefore, to worship one over the other was to deny their deep love for the other, conversely to worship both together was to acknowledge their deep love for each other.

Therefore regardless of station in life, many would come to worship Hǎiān Xuězhù Zhēnjūn and Tartaglia together, but most common among them were lovers and people who were heartbroken. This was because it was well-known, most especially in Snezhnaya and Liyue, that the two were fated to each other.

It was the reason why the common depiction of the two was facing each other, ten fingers clasped together with Hǎiān Xuězhù Zhēnjūn red forehead ribbon intertwined in between their fingers.

#genshin impact childe x reader #childe x reader #tartaglia x reader #genshin impact x reader