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yuri-is-online · 3 months

Note

"The moon is beautiful tonight" bro if someone said that to me I'd choke 💀. So here's a request ig. Octavinnle and scarabia saying this phrase in casual conversation causes like. it doesn't mean anything in twst, but yuu doesnt know that. So yuu just looks at them like

And suddenly they're being a hell of a lot more affectionate towards them specifically, which is really starting to fuck with their emotion at this point. Cause like. "I've thought of what we'd act like as a married couple a million times and you are acting exactly like that"

So now like, idk, 2 months later or something, the boys basically do a "reject me so I can move on. Or not, please not, actually"

And yuus like? We've been together for 2 months now? I thought we were taking it slow but not this slow??

He doesn't even fully remember what he said, or the context that brought it up. If someone were to offer him all the world's wealth and power he wouldn't be able to tell them what brought about this change.

If he did he might find it ironic that in your world there was a place and time where "I love you" could be translated into "the moon looks beautiful tonight." For what else could he have been trying to say?

I LOVE THIS TROPE I LOVE IT SO SO MUCH. UNREQUITED REQUITED ACCIDENTAL LOVE CONFESSION MY BELOVED. Anyway yeah sure I can do this easy. Also can someone tell me what "ig" means I am an elderly woman ☆ヽ(o_ _)o notes: they/them used for Yuu, angst with the intent of comfort, not all of them follow the flow of the prompt exactly sorry, idk if I like this one? I'm so sorry it took so long I loved this prompt but for some reason when I sat down to write it my brain fried. More fic can be found on my masterlist here.

Azul

What He Says:

You can't actually see the moon from Octavinelle, so how the conversation topic got around to it is quite lost on you. "You just don't really seem like an astrology h- person to me?" It is all you can do to bite back a different description as you try to pretend your focus is on the silverware you are rolling and not the ever so slightly disheveled octomer across the office. You treasure these times, though you have to wonder just how intentional they are. Azul always has an aura of manufactured perfection around him, so to see him with ink stained hands and a crooked tie... you wish you were quick enough to get a picture with something other than your mind's eye.

"I could say the same about you," he smiles as he speaks in a way you want to believe is affectionate "though I suppose it shouldn't, every planet large enough to host life will have a moon." Your fingers fidget with the napkins as you wonder where to take this talk, talking with Azul is a lot like a dance at a masquerade you haven't been invited to. One small slip and he has you at his mercy.

"I was surprised your moon looks so similar to mine." You try. "It was very comforting to know it still represents my deepest, truest self."

"Then it must look beautiful tonight." Azul says softly, as if he is more testing the words in his mind than he is saying them. But still you startle and drop the silverware and make him jump.

"I'm sorry?" You stumble over yourself to pick it up and see a worried Azul standing in front of you.

"I said the moon must look beautiful tonight." He says as he bends to help, so casually that he has to call out to you again to make you realize this isn't a dream.

"It is." You pull yourself up and stand closer to him than you have ever previously dared.

When He Breaks (Two Months Later):

Ramshackle Prefect: Morning Azul ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

Azul stares at his phone as if he is unused to the words on his screen. His thumb hovers over the heart as if he could reach out and touch what sits on the other side and know.

You: Morning, a bit early for you isn't it?

Not that he is upset exactly, this is a lovely thing to wake up to. But it's torture, pure torture to lack the context for any of this. When you started messaging him in the morning he had been too pleased to think critically. His mind conjures up images of how sweet you could sound when half asleep, what it would be like to hear that wish from you every morning out loud instead of on a screen. He shakes his head trying to blink back the tears as he rises, these thoughts are like one of those mirages he'd heard Jamil describe before. If he looked too hard it would disappear and leave him with nothing but sand, and there is nothing a merfolk fears more than the absence of water.

Ramshackle Prefect: (｡•̀ᴗ-) Ramshackle Prefect: hehe im goin back to sleep now. Ramshackle Prefect: dont overwork urself. it's supposed to be the weekend!!!

"Supposed to be the weekend" he wants to die. His heart hammers away at his chest as reads and re-reads his messages searching for a sign of how or why he is getting these messages. It's a thankless task, he's done this every day for... it feels like years but he knows from his carefully kept notes it's only been two months one week and three days. And he does mean notes, so what if he's taken to keeping Yuu's file in his night stand it's still kept in a file which means it isn't a diary. Not that it would be a problem if he did-

Ramshackle Prefect: oh before I forget is it ok if I stop by the lounge later? I tried making a pudding and want to know if it tastes good Ramshackle Prefect: y'know to people who don't eat literal dirt

-so no he wasn't keeping a diary but maybe Jade is on to something and he should really start because he hears those are good for managing stress.

~~~~

"Not that I am unimpressed with your efforts," is what Azul says out loud with a great deal of effort "but is it just me or have you been trying to cook a lot more lately?" It had started with little sandwiches and maybe a salad on days he was still at work late into the night, dropped off with the claim that Yuu was worried he wasn't taking care of himself but they never actually stayed to watch him eat it. This was new, as if they were testing the waters of something from their position on his couch, face still puffy with sleep as they settle themselves deep into its puffy cushions and watch him at his desk. Maybe they were concerned he would not want a desert and intended to stay and make sure he didn't throw it out. That had to be it, but then why visit dressed so casually? He can count on one hand the times he has seen Yuu out of an NRC uniform, and none of those allowed him a glimpse of their actual preferences in clothing.

It's like they've forgotten who they are dealing with.

"Well yeah, it's a good skill to have." Yuu looks at him with a genuine unguarded smile. "Besides it's fun to get your opinions on my food, I don't always understand how you come up with them but I feel like it helps."

"My I didn't realize you held my advice in such high esteem." He feels much more like himself now with this information. Of course Yuu has been messaging him more, they need him for something. It might sting, but it's safe. Logical. Something he can work with. "Maybe I'll just have to start charging you, can't have you taking my secrets and stealing away my customers, can I."

But for some reason this just makes you laugh. "No need to worry about that, I only really cook for you. And Grim I guess but like I said, he literally eats dirt. I mean just the other day-

"What did you say?" Azul's voice sounds strained.

"About Grim eating dirt?" You say, and Azul finally for someone so smart and so proud on his ability to read people thinks that he might have made a mistake. "He says he's making a tier list."

"Why are you so painfully human?" His smile is strange, you can't say you have ever seen him like this before, it's a strange mix of happiness and resignation. "Your heart is so- prefect do you trust me?"

"Yes." You answer, seemingly confused as if your answer to that question shouldn't have been something he doubted.

"Would you trust me with your life? Your secrets?" He makes his way out from behind his desk to stand above you, to look down at you and confirm that for some damnable reason you are still calm. "Would you trust me with your life?"

"...only if you wanted it." Finally he sees a trace of fluster in you, finally you feel as nervous around him as he does around you constantly. He places a finger under your chin and forces you to look at him.

"Then tell me how you feel about me truthfully. Because everything you have said and done up to this point has been driving me crazy into thinking I have a chance." You blink. Once. Twice. And then a look of pure confusion distorts your perfect face.

"You- you don't know? But I thought- I mean you said-" And then suddenly Yuu has managed to jump out from the couch and the intensity of the moment stutters closer to comedy as Azul watches you curl under his desk like it's an octopot. "You said the moon was beautiful."

It's Azul's turn to blink. Once. Twice. He feels like he should be holding back tears, or disappointed in some way but- "I did say that... but what does that have to do with, anything?" You don't move and Azul considers his options, and decides to walk slowly to his desk and pick up the pudding before settling himself just out of sight from where you are hiding. And he waits, he waits for you to speak like his hands aren't clammy and he is not worried at all about what you might have to say.

"In my world when you say that it means something." You sound so small and alone, but still he waits. "I was really happy to hear you say it, but I didn't think... no I just didn't think. I'm so so so sorry."

"What did you think I said?" His mind is racing with the possibilities, but he has an idea because really what else could he have said that would explain all of this behavior?

"I don't wanna say it. It's embarrassing." You sound close to tears and Azul can't have that now can he? He crouches down to look at you curled under his desk and thinks that Floyd must have been wrong when he called you a shrimp, how could you be anything other than another octopus, waiting for someone who understood them too?

"As embarrassing as saying it again?" He doesn't wait for you to reply. "The moon looks beautiful tonight." He watches your breath hitch in delight as he fully invades your space and whispers what it looks like he should have just said all along. "I love you."

And gets to hear the one thing he has wanted most. "I love you too."

Jade

What He Says:

"And that is the Hero constellation." Jade makes sure to keep his hand as close to you as plausible, resting the back of it against yours as he uses his pencil to point at the star chart you are examining to avoid having to move it away from your addictive warmth. He delights in the way you try to suppress your shudders yet make no move to shake him off, what a dangerous game it is you have decided to play tonight. "Named after the Hero who dove into the underworld to fetch back his beloved from death itself."

"It looks familiar." You swallow and try to focus on the stars, Jade had been kind enough to offer you some "opinions" (because help would cost you and he has no intention to charge yet) when he saw you struggling to read your astrology homework. "But I don't think it was as important to astrology back in my world..."

"Oya? Your world also values the guidance of the stars?" Jade is always hard to read, but even more so in the dark. Something to do with his natural habitat you suppose, not that you are excited about the potential he sees you as some sort of prey. Not that you couldn't be if you knew just what sort.

"Well yeah sometimes. But I think it has more to do with the zodiac constellations and the position of the planets." You smile and hope this little bit of information is enough for Jade to take as payment instead of a favor but he simply hums.

"Yes I do seem to recall you saying something like that." He says with a smile and you desperately wrack your brain for how he could know that when you know damn well it wasn't to him.

You were only sort of right, he had been there, just out of sight listening intently as you described the differences in the mythological origins of the various signs and their importance in match making.

"Only in some cultures Ace!"

But you had made no mention of whether or not that culture was yours, which was all Jade really cared about. Not that he placed much interest or faith in the stars but if you did that was important data. But no matter how carefully he tried to poke the only thing you ever seemed to really like talking about was the moon. "The moon looks beautiful tonight." Jade says, bitterly, head full with ideas that he wants to give but cannot without overplaying his hand. And yet-

"Do you mean that?" He turns his head abruptly, blinking in confusion down at your flustered self. Jade knows right away that he has said something without meaning to, your reaction screams it but just this once- no he is always selfish when it comes to you. So in keeping with his habits, he drops the pencil and folds his hand around yours properly.

"Every word." It is all he can do to keep his teeth from showing as he watches you fold into him. Normally when Jade offers to walk you home you make up an excuse or outright decline, but when he offers tonight you are happy to accept. You even let him help you pick up your things and when he decides to push his luck and ask for your hand-

You let him take it. His brain is fried, the only thing he can think of and feel is the texture of your skin and the weight of your fingers intertwined with his. Neither of you speak on the way back to Ramshackle, Jade barely hears himself whispering you a goodnight as he swears you stare at his lips in the same way he always dreams of yours.

His mind works overtime as he walks back to his dorm, thinking and re-thinking his words and wondering if he has reached the right conclusion. Data, he needs more data on this change. You have let him get close to what he wants in moments of weakness before, but you have never let him touch and as much as he wants to throw himself into you and be consumed with his assumptions...

When He Breaks (3 months later):

He is long past collecting data at this point, he is just being a coward. Jade is fairly certain that Yuu is courting him... but that pesky doubt keeps creeping back in the longer he looks at them. Not that Jade is unfamiliar with doubting himself, or waiting to strike but you...

"Are you alright, Jade?" You're laid across his lap without a care in the world watching that damn moon again, completely unaware of him unraveling beneath you. "You've been spacing out a lot lately."

"I've just had a lot on my mind~" He caresses the side of your face and you let him, you even whine a bit when he retracts it and speed up his heart rate just enough to make him hyper conscious of his breaths. "Can I ask you something?"

"Technically you already have." You squirm to try and dodge his flick but don't seem too fussed by it. "But sure, what's bothering you?"

"Do you hate me?"

"What?" Oh that look of shock on your face is precious he hasn't seen it in a while. Slowly, giving you just enough space to run if you want Jade bends towards you, smiling wide and tootful as he repeats the question.

"I was wondering if you hate me dear Prefect. Because you see," he sniffles and tries to pretend he doesn't hear you groan in exasperation "our relationship these past few months has been nothing but pure torture for my poor self."

"Oh has it now." You don't sound like you believe him how tragic. "I didn't realize I was such bad company."

"Oh the worst sort." He whimpers. "The sort of company that takes advantage of the thin lines between you and does all sort of things to your poor heart."

"... thin lines?" Finally. FINNALY. You sound just as worried as he's been these past three months. He ceases his blubbering and looks at your embarrassed face properly. It's adorable, he'll have to ask for your forgiveness later for his lengthy pause admiring it later.

"Please be truthful." He whispers just a tad lower than is necessary. "And be gentle with me in your rejections so I can move on if I must but first-"

"We're not dating?!?!?" How rude you don't let him finish before you interrupt and try to run away. His long arms interrupt your retreat, pulling you down with peels of laughter (from him it's clear you don't find this funny) as he rolls you onto the grass, pinned directly beneath him. You look good like this, eyes focused entirely on him and no longer pining after the moon.

"There seems to have been a misunderstanding." He says and you try your best to glare threateningly up at him. "I can't quite remember anything I might have done to make you think we were together. Was it something I said?"

"You said... I'm so stupid."

"I don't seem to recall ever having said that outloud." You try to knee him in the groin but he pins your leg down with his own, such useful things though a tail would have made this entire confrontation much more efficient.

"Of course it doesn't mean the same thing. This is a different world." You look genuinely distraught, and though Jade doesn't regret his teasing one bit he doesn't want to keep you in suspense much longer. So he bends his face directly next to your ear and whispers.

"The moon looks beautiful tonight." Your breath hitches and Jade rolls to his side, pulling you up onto his chest before you can go back to being angry at him. "You're right, it doesn't mean whatever you think it should here. After all if I wanted to say how I feel about you I wouldn't use a metaphor."

"And just what would you say about me?" You sound so impossibly small, just as in need of reassurance as he had been just mere moments ago.

"I would say that I love you, of course." It's hard to say out loud, but worth the reward of your warmth settling into him once more, with clarity this time and no need for cowardice.

Floyd

What He Says:

Floyd has been in a strange mood lately, not quite bad, not quite good, and yet somehow very clearly not somewhere in between either. Reflective is the word you would choose yourself, but no one is really asking your opinion they just want you to fix it.

Not that you have any real clue how you are going to do that, you will be the first to admit you didn't have much of a plan when you asked if Floyd wanted to climb up to Ramshackle's roof and shoot the breeze. Not that you are really complaining it had been funny watching him try to figure out the climb.

"I though you were supposed to be good at this." You laugh from your perch waving a bag of flavored potato chips in encouragement as Floyd snorts just below you.

"I'm real good at parkour, just haven't really climbed trees before. I ain't a monkey fish." Still he manages to hoist himself up just fine and plop himself next to you with a thud that reminds you of just how much weight there is to him. He's tall and lean, his figure seems to go on forever as he stretches himself out next to you, eyes fluttering shut as he lets out a breath and holds out a hand for a chip.

You stuff it into his mouth and try not to laugh too hard when he chokes. He spits some of the chip shards back at you and tries not to smile too wide when you sputter and whine about how gross he is for spitting on you.

"Ya do this a lot back home?" It's not the first time Floyd has asked about your world, but it is certainly the most random.

"We've got stars in my world too." You snort, trying to think about just how you are going to turn this conversation around into something more cheerful. "But nah, pretty sure someone would have called the cops if they caught me on the roof at 2 am." Floyd rolls onto his side, propping himself up on his arm to really look at you as you look through your grocery bag of loot deciding which of the drinks you brought up you want to drink.

"I meant invite people to hang out real late." You stop your search to look down at him and find your words caught somewhere between your heart and your throat. Not like this. You want to say. Not for this reason. But instead you shrug and try to offer a bottle he doesn't take. You aren't avoiding the question tonight. "Ya gotta have done something for fun, right?"

"Sometimes I'd walk around a store or something." It's weird explaining stuff to a merman, sometimes they get what you're trying to say but other times they come back with "so it's like that time Jade and I got caught chasing a dolphin around the school playground and got yelled at for tying him up in seaweed" and you just have to smile and say "yeah totally" because what the hell. You're pretty sure it's not but you lack all sorts of context to try and make him understand. "Or we'd sneak out and just drive around and talk about stuff. There's- not a bunch of exciting things I know how to do I guess." If this was a normal night Floyd would roll his eyes and lie back down, whine about that's why you always make him do all the work because shrimpies have shit for brains and his plans are always so much better.

But he doesn't. He reaches over and tugs on your leg, gently enough that you can run away if you want but clear in his desire to have you closer. So you move, expecting his hand to drop but it doesn't, not until he settles his head in your lap and he physically can't keep it there anymore.

"Ya ever talk about things that matter with those guppies?" Maybe he's homesick and that's why he's so focused on this. "Things that make ya miss them?" Maybe he's just projecting that onto you since he knows you will listen and be nice about it. But then his hand reaches up and turns your head so you can look him in his eyes. They're glowing, you barely realize your own hand going to cup Floyd's cheek before he moves his other to keep it from going. "You ever miss one of em in particular?"

"Not really." How could you when Floyd looks like this? "It'd be nice to see my friends again, sure, but it's not like there's one specific person I miss." Floyd lets out a breath that it sounds like he has been keeping in for a long, long time. His hands both fall to his side as he lets you look away in embarrassment, wiggling in slight happiness when you choose to rest your hands on his shoulders.

"The moon looks beautiful tonight." Floyd's voice sounds sleepy and oddly content. Your eyes immediately snap back to him, but he isn't looking at you now. There is a a slight red tinge to his ears that makes you laugh quietly as you run a finger over the shell of one. So that's what this is about.

"It's always beautiful with you around Floyd." And finally he is looking at you with a smile.

When He Breaks (2 weeks later):

When you gave Floyd a guest key to Ramshackle he'd been extremely happy. Sure he'd acted like it was no big deal in front of you, beyond a few teasing comments about how buttering him up wouldn't get you anywhere unless you put it in writing. But back at his dorm he had been beyond insufferable, obsessing over just what color thread he should attach to it (purple for the sea witch, teal for the eel, or grey for ramshackle? decisions decisions), wanting to keep it close at all times until he had an excuse to replace it with you.

Because that's what he needed right? An excuse? Floyd wasn't exactly... shy in showering you with his affections but you. You. Until that stupid conversation on the roof a month ago you had always been sort of shy about it, if not outright dismissive. He assumed it was because you just didn't reciprocate but now...

"Floyd?" You can't really remember the last time he knocked, even before you gave him the key he sort of just let himself in. But today he knocked, only once and waited for you to open the door in eerie silence. Even when Floyd was coming over because he was bored he still managed to drag himself through the door or a window if he was so inclined.

So why not today?

"Not having a good day?" You try softly, he walks into your lounge with an eerie quiet about him. The last time you saw him something very nice happened, so you can't exactly say you are too worried but. It still sucks to see someone you care about in distress.

"Kinda." Floyd doesn't look like he had much of a plan now that he's in your dorm. "Had a lot on my mind is all."

"Aw that's no fun." You both stand doing nothing for what feels like an hour but you're sure is only a few seconds. "Do you uh want to talk about it?"

"..." And just like that Floyd feels really silly. He wanted to see you so that's why he came, but he wants to be as far away from these painful feelings as possible. "I kind of want to take a nap."

"Oh?" You don't sound surprised, but are clearly confused. Floyd begins to head towards the guest room without looking back. The guest room feels like you just enough that it can soothe his longing and distance himself from his internal conflict. "Would you like to use my room?" Or he could just not be allowed to distance himself at all because you could just say- "I've got some stuff to do but I can join you af-"

"Are you fucking serious." Floyd's voice is dangerously low and he is dangerously close to your face like you have said something wrong. "Look Shrimpy-" He swallows, like he's really considering what it is he has to say so he breathes and just goes for it "Yuu. You're killin me with this. Humans are already so fucking confusing. I give ya a shell and you get all cold for a week, and now, now you wanna sleep with me?" He pouts at you, like your suggestion had been scandalous. "'s like you think we're together or something."

"... we're not?" That's the only thing you can think to say even though the fact you have to say it answers the question for you.

"No?" Now Floyd sounds confused. "Ya- you can't do this to meeeeeeee." Despite his protests he seems just fine with grabbing onto you and dragging you into an embrace and resting his cheek on your head so you can't see his face anymore. "There's supposed to be a process to these things ya know? I'm supposed to give you gifts, and then you're supposed to give me some back and then I tell you I love you but every time I tried that I said something stupid instead. Like 'oh wow the moon looks beautiful tonight or some shit." He huffs and he puffs and he waits for you to say something. But you don't, you take a deep breath.

And laugh.

"Is this fucking funny to you?" Floyd is taken so a back he lets go of you only to find you laughing harder. You stand and reach to cup his face. Floyd doesn't like being squeezed, but there's something about the light squish you give to his cheeks that he likes, he likes a lot.

"No- well maybe a little bit. It's just, I knew. I knew what you were trying to say." Yuu says it like it is the most obvious thing in the world, like it's something Floyd should have known all along. "I owe you an apology, I should have asked, made sure you knew. In my world, it's sometimes considered too forward to say 'I love you' so instead..." You close the distance between you once more, leaving just enough room that Floyd can back away from you if he wants, "instead we say 'the moon looks beautiful tonight.'" Floyd takes in a deep, deep breath and you wait. The anger and frustration slowly fades as he exhales, shoulders sagging as he searches your face for signs.

"The moon looks beautiful tonight." He says it slowly, voice dipping low with the same strange gravity it had the first time he said it.

"It does, doesn't it?" You smile, and Floyd finally reaches for you, arms wrapped much more loosely than you ever thought possible.

"You're really mean sometimes ya know that." As if he doesn't find that attractive.

Kalim

What He Says:

Sometimes you worry about Kalim. He has this way of talking about things that, if it had been anyone else who said it, should be a major cause for concern. But because Kalim seems relatively happy most all of the time and has a family with a bunch of money no one really makes much of a fuss about it.

So when he says, off handedly, completely as a joke, that you should listen to his worries sometimes you don't give him a chance to play it off. You sit up from where you had been lying down in the Scarabia Lounge and move just a bit closer to where Kalim is relaxing so he can see how serious you are.

"Of course you can talk to me if you have worries." Your voice must have been abnormally serious because Kalim doesn't respond immediately. At first you wonder if the noise of the party behind you had somehow drowned out what you said but then you see Kalim's face. He looks conflicted, as if there is something he desperately wants to say, but instead he looks at you with a smile.

"I don't really have any." But he doesn't laugh when he says it, not that he sounds unhappy exactly just thoughtful. He doesn't move away from you either.

"Even if it's something you think might be silly," you say slowly forcing yourself to continue even as Kalim looks away "of if you're able to dismiss them. If something makes you sad for even a moment, you can tell me. I won't offer my opinion if that's not something you want, or won't help, I can still listen."

"You're really insistent about this huh?" Kalim sits up now too and you turn to look up at the stars decorating Scarabia's night sky. You wonder briefly about how exactly they might have gotten that to work when he says it. "The moon is beautiful tonight." He sounds so wistful but it's gone in a blink as he reaches for your hand and doesn't let you respond to his admission. "C'mon! Let's take the magic carpet and get a better look." You try to contain your excitement as he lets you lace your fingers together and doesn't even try to let go.

What He Breaks (1 week later):

Technically, Kalim isn't the one who breaks. He notices, of course he notices, the way you are more comfortable in seeking him out. How comfortable you now are with his casual touches, how willing you are to hold his hand and even give it a little squeeze. It's heaven, like he found the treasure cave the Sorcerer of the Sands had searched so long for. If it was up to him he would have let it go a little longer.

But it isn't exactly up to him, it never is. Not that Jamil looks angry exactly, but then again as Kalim has come to accept he's not the best at reading his moods.

"I thought you said you weren't going to ask Yuu out?" No Jamil sounds confused and Kalim fidgets with his bracelet under his questioning stare because he knows what he's about to say will probably actually make him mad.

"I didn't." Jamil takes a deep breath and Kalim immediately waves his hands to try and soothe him. "Promise! I remember everything you said about wanting to know and I agree it's just... are you sure you aren't misreading things? That Yuu isn't just... comfortable around me now?"

"... it's always a possibility given just how weird the prefect can be, but no. I'm pretty sure you must have said something that's given them the wrong impression." Jamil sighs and rubs his chin thoughtfully. "It's going to be awkward, but you should probably clear things up with them and tell them how you really feel."

"You mean tell them I'm not allowed to-"

"Like I said before," Jamil actually smiles now, and Kalim really hopes it's real "it's not my place to tell you who you can and cannot date. Sure your parents might have an idea about what they want you to do, but you and I know that a political marrige would never really work for you. It's just not how you're built." And with that he leaves Kalim to his thoughts.

~~~~

"Have you ever considered throwing smaller parties?"

"Haha this is a smaller party~ I only invited you and your freshmen friends." So Kalim says and so you see, but you suppose everything Kalim does comes from a rather skewed sense of small. It's nice to look out on though, Ace is amusing one of your other classmates with his card tricks while Jack and Deuce take turns at arm wrestling. Epel even manged to get Sebek to participate in something, though he might have regretted making it an eating contest. And above it all, tucked away in a little alcove, Kalim rests his head on your shoulder and hums along with the music playing through his dormitory loudspeakers. It feels domestic in a way despite the grandiose display around you.

"It's very nice Kalim." You lean your head on top of his and he sighs in contentment. "But you said there was a worry you wanted to tell me about?"

"Mhm. I'm worried I said something accidentally that made you realize that I liked you." If he wasn't holding you so intimately his words would have been like ice water over your self confidence. You still cringe and Kalim laughs slightly, happily holding you just a bit closer. "Hey I didn't say that I don't like you, I just want to make sure you understand what that means. I could put you in a lot of danger you know?"

"More than half a dozen overblots?" You lightly joke but Kalim just hugs you a little harder at the thought. "We'll cross those bridges when we come to them, it doesn't make me love you any less. After all," you press a gentle kiss to his forehead and smile as he shakes in happiness "the moon looks beautiful tonight." Kalim gives a little gasp.

"Oh that's a wonderful way to say it!"

Jamil

What He Says:

"I get that your world is a bit behind ours because it doesn't have magic, but really?" Jamil's voice lacks the usual venom that would accompany his teasing if he hadn't been the one to propose this idea. "Wanting to make a mix tape has got to make you practically per-historic." You try to suppress your own smile as you watch him work from across the floor.

"I prefer vintage." Your smile breaks free as Jamil finally laughs, you wonder if he knows just how beautiful he is as he swipes a misbehaving hair out of his eyes and gives his stereo another once over. "I'll have you know making mixtapes have a long and storied tradition in my world." You keep some of the possible implications to yourself, and try to pretend the concept hasn't been swirling around in you brain since he first suggested this. "Why aren't you using magic to clean it?"

"Because I get to keep you here longer." The words dance on the tip of his tongue and he forces them away with a smile.

"It's old, and I don't really want to go searching for a new one if I break something." The lie has just enough of a trace of truth to fool you, but Jamil isn't one for taking chances. "Aren't you supposed to be looking for stuff you like? You won't get that by staring at me."

"Not like I'm going to find anything till your done cleaning." You snort and finally take your distracting eyes away from him and direct them to his tapes. "I don't know any of this stuff." But you can still tell this collection is pretty impressive. Some of the tapes look newer, but there are others that while well cared for are clearly old. Album art featuring sandy landscapes and people posing is sandwiched between vaporwave cartoons and aesthetically confusing 3-d models. This belongs to Jamil so you have a feeling it's organized, but you can't tell how. Not that he leaves you wondering for long lightly taps your nose with a new cotton swab and nudges your pouting face towards a specific section of the box.

"Here, I set some aside based off the kind of music you said you liked." And some that just reminded him of you, but that's nothing you need to know, yet if ever. "Anything else you can think of?"

"Do you have any songs about the moon?" The question pops out of your mouth before the thought that birthed it is fully formed, making you stumble over your explanations. "Yeah go ahead and laugh there's just... this one song I miss." It makes you think of him, from the few words you can remember. You've written it down again and again to try and make sure you don't forget them, but the tune has begun escaping you; much like all your memories of home will one day be fragmented, not that the reality makes it hurt any less. "I'm worried I'll forget what my moon looks like." Jamil's amused confusion remains, but his eyes soften in response to your distress.

"Is there a specific reason you need the song? Yo- The moon is beautiful tonight, do you need the exact song to see it?" Jami

"N-no." Your voice shakes. Neither of you move to look away, what gives you the strength to move yourself to sit next to him you don't know. But he doesn't move away and you let out a deep breath from sheer and relief and joy. "I think I'll be able to see it just fine next to you."

What He Breaks (two months later):

Things have been going missing from Jamil's room lately. Nothing he actually needs really, the sort of little things you would take if you were really desperate to remember the feel of a person. The sort of things you would take if you were dating that person, which isn't at all the thought he would have had if he didn't know who was taking them. Not that Jamil could come up with a reason for Yuu to be taking these things, his first thought had been to take something of Yuu's the next time he visited Ramshackle, but that seemed to make you happy. "Fair game" he'd thought. "I want an excuse to see you and you want an excuse to see me."

Still he wasn't prepared for this.

"Jamil!" there is something refreshing about how calm your happiness is. You've always had a way of extending that calm to him, wrapping him in it and allowing him some space to breathe. But today, today. Today the Ramshackle Prefect has decided that he wasn't allowed peace, because yesterday they had stolen his sweatshirt, and today they have decided to wear it. "Everything ok?

"ha." Jamil wants to tug the hood of his dorm uniform over his head. He wants to run, he wants to shake you, he wants to scream. He wants to do a three act play complete with an interpretive dance because that would be easier than trying to speak. But he has to, because there's only so many deep breaths he can take before you reach out to make sure he's ok. So he takes your hand in his as you do and places it directly over his heart. "You know," for some reason he finds it easier to smile now that you know how nervous he is "you can't have taken that without knowing what people might say."

"Oh I don't know." You smile and bring yourself into his space, that strange calm he finds in your happiness begins to weave itself around him again. "Maybe I wanted to clear some things up. Make it good and clear where I belong." Jamil takes another deep breath, your arms go around him and he makes sure to look long and good into your eyes to make sure there isn't a shred of a crimson glow. That this is something you have decided of your own free will and not a dream or an accident involving magic.

"I never properly asked you out..." Technically he never asked you out at all, but Jamil would rather die than say that out loud. Maybe sometime long long in the future when he's ready to laugh at it and not now when he needs you to confirm that's what you thought he did in the first place.

"Oh! That's not-" You bury your face in his chest with a light laugh and he tries not to die in the time between the seconds until you respond. "I was so happy to hear you say the moon line it didn't really occur to me you might be worried about that."

"Who wouldn't?" Not that he's worried now, every other possibility has been ruled out so he can say exactly what he's been wanting to for so long. "Will you be mine?"

"I already was." It sounds so much better outloud than he could have ever dreamed.

#twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #azul ashengrotto x reader #jade leech x reader #floyd leech x reader #kalim al asim x reader #jamil viper x reader #“Or not please not actually” did something to my brain #such a nice way of phrasing that ur mind

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spacexseven · 2 years

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GOD I am thinking so hard about yans going after a darling they previously rejected.

like. you have a crush on your coworker, [insert bsd yan here]. ur not subtle about it. ofc yan Knows, so does everyone else who watches you two interact. trouble is, they dont reciprocate. which is ok! theyre allowed to not like you! but they're also a huge dick about it which is the real issue here.

like, they do NOT let you down easy AT ALL. they might even lead you on a bit beforehand if they're the opportunistic type, paying attention to you up until you do what they want and then dropping you until they have another task lined up. they don't feel bad about it. they don't HAVE to indulge in your delusional little crush, be happy theyre paying attention to you at all! eventually they just completely shut you down. maybe you finally work up the courage to ask them out and they laugh right in your face, not able to stifle their amusement at the idea. or maybe you catch them on a bad day and your puppy-like desperation goes from being funny to annoying and they don't mince words when telling you to get lost. you're heartbroken, humiliated, maybe even a bit frightened if they said anything particularly scary in their tirade, and resolve to just avoid them as much as you possibly can from now on. maybe start looking for a new job somewhere else.

they try to act like losing your attentions doesnt effect them at all, but they really feel your absence. they convince themselves that you're just giving them space after the… incident, but when they go looking around for you and you're nowhere to be found or you coincidentally have to leave whatever room you're in as soon as they enter it they realize that you're avoiding them. it hurts more than they'd like to admit, they find themselves seeking you out much more than they ever have before, only to be disappointed when you notice them looking at you and get visibly uncomfortable or lower your voice so they cant hear you anymore. if they ever DO manage to talk to you, you're freezing cold, all business. on your end, you're just trying not to irritate them, assuming that if they're suddenly staring at you its cuz you're doing something they don't like, but theyre completely torn up about no longer getting your attention. theyre distracted constantly by your sudden distance, no longer able to enjoy outings with coworkers if you don't attend- spending the whole time wondering if you didn't go cuz THEYRE there. now THEYRE the one following YOU around, trying to get back in your good graces in whatever way they can think of. it might start as a childish ploy to regain your attention after your ignoring them caused a blow to their ego, but the more you avoid them the deeper their feelings get. please please PLEASE stop being mad at them! they can't go on if you don't forgive them.

id imagine it would all come to a head if they found out you were planning on quitting soon, or if they caught you going on a date with someone else in the office. they WONT lose you. they cant.

I think most characters could work with this, but especially dazai, akutagawa, jouno, chuuya, and kunikida (he wouldnt do anything out of malice hed just accidentally be pretty harsh turning you down and then feel like an idiot later.). maybe fyodor and gogol too, with some tweaking. this kinda came out a garbled mess sorry haven't slept in like 3 days lmao.

- 🩹

my friend please get some sleep :< like Seriously you are going to crash very hard at this rate i didn't get to elaborate on a lot here 'cos i wanted to write a little bit for everyone (dazai, chuuya, jouno, techhou, ranpo, akutagawa, kunikida, sigma, nikolai and fyodor) but if there's any particular group/character anyone wants to hear about send me an ask and i'll gladly ramble on and on :>

i can see either dazai or jouno doing this intentionally, genuinely liking to watch you look embarrassed and even teary-eyed at his blunt rejections. whether it's because they really couldn't care less about you or because they were just bored, they lead you on and go on to embarrass you publicly, effectively humiliating you and breaking your heart over and over.

consequently, these two also are hit the hardest when you start ignoring them. this probably happens when your carefully crafted confession is callously crushed, receiving jeering words and scornful laughter in response, and you decide you should move on from the toxicity these two carry.

jouno can sense you sneaking out the room when he enters and he pretends not to notice, but dazai straight up stares at you in a look you might even think of as betrayal if it wasn't such a crazy thought. both of them are beyond furious by your sudden withdrawal and badly concealed attempt at avoiding them. what, did you think you could hang around them for so long, smiling through all the insults and 'jokes' and then decide to one day turn around and drop them like you weren't just following them around every corner the week before?

they latch onto you with an overwhelming fervour, following you into every room and into every meeting, even the one they're not supposed to be in. mess around with your files on purpose so you'd have no choice but to come to them and ask for your things back, manage to grab themselves an assignment with you as their partner, even sit right across you during your lunch break. it's like you can never escape them, no matter how hard you try.

just try quitting, or trying to cling onto someone else. just you try, and it'll be far from an amiable ending. they're both extremely cunning and determined, and it won't end well for anyone ecept themselves.

kunikida, akutagawa and chuuya are the type where they didn't mean to be harsh but because they are so flustered/confused they end up coming out very coldly when they tell you to scram or just stop blabbering. you were only trying to be conversative by mentioning the new café downstaira and asking about their weekend, but either because of the stress of work or their inability to deal with your questions of genuine interest and helpful comments, they usually end up responding rudely. chuuya for one is known to scoff and briskly walk away while you're busy talking, hoping you don't notice his flushed cheeks after you complimented his hair. akutagawa's go to response is to just stare at you and wait for you to trail off, thinking he either did not want to hear you ramble on or he just spaced out, and quickly leave. kunikida...depending on the time of the day and how much of dazai's work he has to clean up after, it's either a resigned sigh as you continue talking (he enjoys your company after a long day, although he'll never admit it) or a sudden, angry burst of words you can barely make out.

confessing to either three is awkward, but in the unlikely scenario that it does happen, despite your belief that they barely tolerated you, they're secretly thrilled but unable to respond, leaving you dejected and them panicked. regardless, when you decide enough is enough and you should probably stop bothering them when they don't seem to want you around, they immediately try to stop you.

for chuuya, this means suddenly transforming into the helpful senior, scaring away other employees who try to dump their work on you and people who try to befriend you, as long as they want to talk to you. your unimpressed reactions only spur him on, deciding if you had nobody else, you'd finally come back to him. for kunikida, this is more subtle, taking on your workload and leaving completed forms and files at your desk, placing an energy drink nearby or someting of the sort. he isn't so reckless as to scare away everyone around you, hoping you'd realize you might have misunderstood him because he was always stressed out and come to befriend him again, as he's smart enough to know frightening you away by coming on too strong is not the best way to go. akutagawa might struggle with the subtle approach, but he tries, really. he starts lingering around you, following you silently in an unintentionally creepy way, even when you go to get something to eat. he hopes thta by sticking around you long enough, you'd recognize his intentions as good and not...anything else.

tecchou and sigma initially wouldn't realize why you kept staring at them and immediately look away when they notice. they're confused by your sudden attention on them, not recognizing the glimmer in your eyes as growing attraction and the pep in your step as enthusiasm.

eventually though, it registers, and they're over the moon. i can see both of them being pleasantly surprised, and even if a romantic relationship isn't in their plans at the moment, they like and appreciate you as a friend. still, after you keep smiling at them and asking them to accompany you for lunch, seeing you do that to anyone else is...unsettling, at the least. especially because they know what kind of intentions these other people have.

suddenly, tecchou's glare feels extremely dangerous, almost like lasers burning into the back of whoever's got your attention, causing them to awkwardly excuse themselves and leave you alone once they catch sight of his intense stare. and sigma (he's a higher up here) is piling on an insane amount of work to your companion, happily accepting your invitation to go out to eat every day of the week, now that everyone else was conveniently so busy.

nikolai would actually entertain your feelings, more so out of boredom than anything else. it's easy with him, he catches on pretty quickly—the obvious interest in your tone when you talk to him, the way you hang on to every word like a devoted worshipper, the little gifts you had on hand for him—he'd be a fool not to notice! (he kinda is one, but that's besides the point) you won't have to worry about confessions going south or a cold rejection. nikolai showers you in affection from the start, treating you warmly, laughs with you and is always there by your side.

it almost comes naturally when you admit you like him and he only pulls you closer with the arm he has constantly around you. don't be fooled though, despite not having any 'actual' feelings for you yet, he is unbelievably possessive. if you are upset about anything and decide to sulk and ignore him, nikolai is happy to annoy you endlessly until you either give in and forgive him, or if he sees you trying to busy yourself with anyone else, he's quick to come up with a lost of creative ways to get the outsider out of your relationship with him.

with nikolai, there's a lot of spontaneous skipping out on work (that you miraculously never get in trouble for), unplanned adventures and general good times until, of course, someone else tries to meddle. maybe it's a nosy coworker who firmly believes workplace relationships are unprofessional, or a newbie who stupidly ignores the obvious signs of nikolai and you being together; whatever it is, you won't have to worry, nikolai will swifltly remove all the obstacles.

eventually, he decides that life is a lot more fun with you, his partner in crime, always by his side. this is when things will really take a turn, and you start to realize he's a lot more unhinged than you would have thought previously...

ranpo is a bit of an interesting one...he knows you like him, even if you do a good job at hiding it. he obviously takes advantage of your feelings, purposely trying to make you jealous just to see you all riled up, and asks you to do things for him knowing you wouldn't deny him.

he's so proud of himself, as though he charmed everyone around him, and doesn't hesitate to poke fun at you for liking him. not as maliciously as dazai and jouno, but mean enough that it has you blinking in shock at the way he rudely declares that he was out of your league, skipping away to eat some snacks.

obviously, when he acts so high and mighty, you'd think he would be pleased by you finally taking his advice on "focusing on work instead of staring at him with hearts in your eyes" (not like he was doing anything productive most of the time), but it's the opposite. he notices your absence almost immediately, and imagine his shock and humiliation when you, who was supposed to ttail him around like a puppy, happilly eating out of his hand, were now deciding these boring work files are more important than him.

somehow they even placed the intern that just started with you for training, and now that's all that you're focused on. showing the newcomer around, chatting with them, offering your help with tasks—it was like ranpo ceased to exist and it infuriated him. similarly, if you started spending time around/with someone else from the company (cough nikolai cough), it would annoy him just as much if not more, knowing exactly what kind of intentions they had.

ranpo turns his annoying abilities to the max, now being the one to follow you around everywhere and whines at you to pay attention to him, asking you to feed him snacks and also trying to feed you in return, demanding you accompany him for lunch so he doesn't get lost, and anything else to monopolise your time. eventually, even if you stay strong, whoever you spend your time with now can't handle ranpo's overbearing and unavoidable presence, driving them away. (it helps if he's like a valued employee here too)

fyodor is the type to not do anything about your crush, not until you become useful to him. he'll entertain it, sure, staring back at you with that disarming smile and curious eyes, brushing his hand against yours for a moment too long when you hand him things, sitting right next to you when you ask him to come over and look at something—he knows the hold he has over you and he loves it.

he thinks it's cute to see you so entranced and in awe by him, and he genuinely enjoys your company as he recognizes your genuine work ethic and passion, but even then he doesn't exactly hold the same feelings for you. this is him acting to keep you onterested because he knows someone who is so in love with him despite not really knowing him is a pawn he shouldn't lose.

maybe one day you realize you'd rather not ruin a good friendship by involving your feelings, but trying to distance yourself won't be fruitful and busying yourself with another person would only lead fyodor to threaten their livelihood and even their lives. fyodor is a very jealous and possessivs man, even though you're not dating, he still doesn't like the idea of anyone other than him using you and doesn't want to risk you forgetting him.

generally, though, nobody tries to mess with fyodor, because while he's all amiable and charming to you, to everyone else he's intense and brooding; unapproachable. he has this look that makes everyone feel inferior, like he thinks of them as pathetic creatures—which he does, but you...he could make some use of you yet. he's impressed by your strong will to be by his side for so long despite receiving no sign that he might like you at all...maybe it's time he rewarded you tor your devotion?

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hurtmionedanger · 5 months

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Hey bestie don't be shy

top 5 favorite podcast characters and why

YOU EXPECT ME TO PICK???? PICK BETWEEN MY BELOVED GUYS???????

I am going to try to diversify beyond the magnus archives, mostly because dbd has had me in a death choke recently

With that being said, in no particular order

1. The Obituary writer from Death by Dying

Hes such an icon, normal guy and yet so so so very weird, his best friend is the angel of death, his other best friend is in his freezer and her still beating heart is on his desk, everyone thinks he’s going to kill someone one of these days based on looks alone, he has a questionable taste in fashion, hes bisexual, he has three man eating cats, he solves murders just like as a hobby, he is the most sopping wet pathetic wet cat of a man you could ever hope to meet, he is silly, what more could you possibly want from a man?

2. Jonathan Jarchivist, see prior post about this man he is so ridiculous, mf ACCIDENTALLY STARTED THE APOCALYPSE, He has been kidnapped more then princess peach, he is the eyes special little boy, hes ASEXUAL LIKE ME FRFR, he has a boyfriend who loves him very much, he likes good cows, hot singles in his area want to hunt him for sport, hes the saddest little meow meow there could possibly be.

3. Timothy stoker, managed to convey he was wearing a hawaiian shirt by voice alone, also THIS MAN IS THE ARCHIVES BRAINCELL, THE SLUTTY BISEXUAL IS THE BRAINCELL HERE WHAT DOES THAT SAY ABOUT THE ARCHIVES, BECAUSE SASHA VERY MUCH IS NOT THE BRAINCELL SHE FOLLOWED A DEFINITELY NOT HUMAN GUY TO A RANDOM GRAVEYARD WITH VERY LITTLE FOLLOW UP AS TO WHY SHE NEEDED TO GO, AND JON DOESNT HAVE IT FOR PREVIOUSLY STATED REASONS, AND MARTIN IS MARTIN, MEANING TIM IS THE ONLY BRAINCELL HERE. Also as my boyfriend can attest, i have a thing for angry men in hawaiian shirts, i think theyre hot

4. Not technically a Guy persay, but the beloved michael distortion for having a sick ass voice and an even sicker statement, shows up and just stabs the archivist just because he can, he is literally the embodiment of gaslighting gatekeeping and girlbossing and his design is very cool really regardless of how people draw him but ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY DRAW HIM WITH LIKE SUPER DISTORTED JOINTS AND MULTIPLE FACES AND SHIT LIKE MMMMMMMMM, he gets bonus points for having excellent hair and not being a who but a what

Number five hhhh how do i pick between all of my beloved podcast guys, leaving out martin because i already screamed about Why i love Martin Knife Blackwood Already

5. Georgie Barker I think has to go here, maybe alongside helen and Melanie, i love them all for very different reasons but they are just such girlbosses, georgie just doesn’t feel fear, had an existential crisis so hard her brain stopped processing it, she is the girl ever, also shes jons ex, automatically getting her more points, she had a skin clown break into her apartment and fuck with her lights and the only reason she was upset was because it meant she had to replace all her lightbulbs, Also georgie has a podcast where she talks about ghosts, which is really funny to me, and i would absolutely listen to her podcast

Honorable mentions:

Helen for season 5 shenanigans of showing up whenever JMart were fighting because she wanted the Tea

Gerry Keay for his defining trait mentioned by every single statement giver who saw him being “Really shittily dyed hair” like imagine that being your legacy

#danger zone #asks #the magnus archives #death by dying

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the-gayest-tree-you-ever-did-see · 25 days

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drop the lore for your song !

(insert "sorry i put this in drafts and immediately forgot about it" cake here. sorry i put this in drafts and immediately forgot about it!!!)

okay so first i guess we should probably drop the lyrics, theyre on bandlab but also who give a shit. here you go:

-and you sit there like youre some starry-eyed god

asking for sacrifice, knowing what i lost

and what can i do but follow you?

i made you my temple, just follow through

and your honor, you sit and stare as i stand witness

to this man burning everything i love down with this building

and from the ashes his eyelash comes falling, i make a wish

it wont ever come true but ill make him pray it did

and god, my god i would follow you to death

you know this so you hold a blunt knife to my neck

i am more than just your satisfactions and regrets

but you are less than i thought, you are less and you're not even worth it

i am breathing just a little and calling it a life

you are walking in the wild with a mass market knife

and it feels so juvenile to talk it all through

we are teenagers at battle, we are always coming true

HOW DOES IT FEEL TO KNOW YOU COULD NOT HAVE SAVED ME?

AND DO YOU BELIEVE IN EVERYTHING YOU SEE ON THE NEWS

CAUSE YOU SHOULD KNOW BY NOW THAT ALL KIDS DO IS LOSE EVENTUALLY.

I HATE THAT YOU COULDNT SAVE ME.

that must mean im stronger.

you said you would protect me.

but im like ocean water.

and youre like twenty three!

so i choose now between honesty and dignity

and i cannot worship a god i cant believe

yeah i tore my palms down your altar

for war, blood must taste sweet

i dont know what to do to make you believe that im insane

you made me, made me you, made me who i am

no you didnt make me, i made me, you were just a tool

ill say anything so ill sleep the whole night through

first piece of lore: i did in fact write this in tumblr drafts. people tend to not believe me when i tell them but notes app is far too open. tumblr drafts is for the arteries. also the sense of danger from my drafts being cleared or my account being deleted (which happened) keeps me on my toes.

second piece of lore: this is less of a song and more of a conglomeration of words i thought go together good. i didnt really have a plan for this as i was writing it, it sort of formed the image and story it has as i wrote and only when i was "done" (the song isnt complete but im done writing it for now) did i have it completely. my sister said the phrase "starry-eyed god" and i ran from there! i was kind of toying with the idea of being hurt by someone who doesnt really believe they are harming you, and sort of falling across that line all the time of are they really innocent or are they playing innocent.

i also liked the idea of being so in love with someone that you'd worship them, not understanding that that isnt love, its obsession. lots of misunderstandings and insanity in this bad boy.

this is also definitely the ending half of the song. in my recording the end is a little fucked because, third piece of lore, i accidentally slammed my hand on the table out of passion and spent the rest of the song trying not to cry in pain. why did i push through, you may ask. why didnt i just stop and rerecord in a minute. well im something of an artiste (idiot)

that bit on "what can i do but follow you/i made you my temple just follow through" where im high and singing almost reverently is what i want more of the beginning to sound like. for this section we have more of those divine chorus vibes peeking through every once in a while, so the beginning will have this almost spoken desperate vibe peeking through, but majority of that high angel voice for most of it.

okay this is already long so im gonna stop here with general lore -- if you want me to go through the lyrics as well and talk about that, i am more than happy to!! lyrics are my favorite parts of a song, especially writing-wise, so i would love that actually. some of the lyrics in this are inspired by poetry so its pretty fun to look back and see.

thank you for asking!! i love you sm <33

#asks #the tree sings #the tree speaks #ily anon

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safetycar-restart · 2 years

Note

hiiii 🥰 past d/s seb ask #3 coming through! (watch me get to a minor fall, a major lift in a span of one night)

got a short one though

i touched a bit on how much seb would want to give back when he actually realises he is in good hands, so much you actually have to hold him back a little lest he hurt himself trying too hard? yeah i think theres a little more there.

so i'm still thinking about how for seb accepting that someone wants to care for him is a bit of a learning curve. i was also thinking about how much he would adore you for allowing him to rest and recharge, as well as taking the responsibility from him and just letting him trust himself into your care and not think.

(small tangent: i was also thinking re: exhaustion and him being even more tired (though also definitely more happy) after sessions, maybe you actually reach out to his trainer so you could properly coordinate when he puts in some exercise and when he gets to unwind and turn to jelly. he'd be absolutely blown away when he accidentally finds out)

so the point is, he wants to please you so. badly. and of course you praise him for following instructions and being good for you, but it doesn't feel like enough to him, especially since your scenes are ultimately focused on taking care of him, making him feel good. he really, really wants to make you feel good, too.

you wouldn't let him, though, for quite some time, mostly because you want him to get used to the idea that he is enough as he is, that he deserves to be loved and taken care of unconditionally, not in exchange for anything.

but also a little bit because with all that anticipation built up he would be absolutely ecstatic when you finally let him eat you out.

- Lemon 🍋

Okay so yes I am answering part 3 before part 2 because I read this and have been OBSESSED ever since this is so good and so I must answer it right now or else I'll go insane.

So I very much went on a very specific tangent about seb's service sub tendencies so that's literally this ask is cause I said SO much about that that I couldn't say anything more because it's already very long.

I think that at his core, Sebastian is a little bit of a service sub? Like yes he wants to be taken care of, but there's nothing that makes him feel better than when he can be your good boy and help you with something.

However, this service sub side of him got stamped out with the old Ferrari Dom, because nothing was ever good enough for them. Seb tried at first, he tried so hard. He learnt how they like their coffee, what their favourite flowers were, what chocolates they like, etc. He did everything he could to be able to serve the dom.

But no matter what he did, the Dom was never happy with him.

So he just... he stopped trying? He stopped trying to serve, because what was the point if he wasn't going to be able to do it right?

It takes him a while to try and do those types of things with him, though he wants to from very early on.

I'm thinking of a moment during aftercare after his second scene with you, he's sitting on the bed, just watching you and you put on the kettle. Immediately he wants to offer to make you some tea or coffee, so that you can sit down and relax while he does it because you've done so much for him.

Except he doesnt do it.

Right as he's about to ask, he thinks about how his old Dom always sneered as his attempts to serve and so he doesnt ask, because he's too scared you might do the same thing. You were the best Dom he had ever had, and he just... he didn't want to open himself up like that only to discover that you were the same as the other one.

Once he gets more comfortable with you, the desire to serve in that way gets bigger and bigger. He manages to keep it at bay by doing smaller things, always requesting a pastry from the chef when it's on the menu because he knows you like it but can't always get it if you don't have lunch in time, always folding and hanging up your jacket when you leave it on the chair, etc.

But he just... he really wants to serve you properly, and it's such a big need that it becomes very obvious to you.

And you can't let him for a long time, because you know he needs a genuinely long time of just being taken care of.

But it actually gets more and more difficult for him to accept you taking care of him as he gets more comfortable with you? Because as he gets better, he starts to want to look after you more and more.

#past d/s au #nsfw.#sub!sebastian #sv #gn!reader #🍋

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sundere1181 · 1 year

Note

you made your own version of turtles??

tell me everything 👀👀

sorry it took me so long to answer it i WAS gonna put a detailed description of everything here but it got deleted halfway through writing it and i am Too Tired to rewrite it so here's a bunch of different discord snippets ive written abt it + a character list thing.

Donnie: Spotted pond turtle. The oldest. Deaf, uses modified sign language and AAC to communicate. Has the power of foresight. Very powerful visions can cause seizures (not fun) the spots on his shell are often painted purple by Leo.

Leo: River cooter. Middle child #1. Likes to cause trouble for fun and do dangerous things. the artist of the family. Has lightning/electric powers. Speaks fluent Japanese and sign language.

Mikey: Gulf coast box turtle. Middle child #2. Fire powers. Looks up to Leo a lot and often goes with him on his trips to cause trouble. Punk, wears lots of black and orange. Has a minor crush on Casey (but like who doesnt)

Raph: Albino wood turtle. Youngest child. Short ass mf. Density manipulation (ITS COOL I PROMISE LOOK https://powerlisting.fandom.com/wiki/Density_Manipulation ) . Often doesn't get visibly/verbally angry at his brothers, but does get very obviously violently angry at literally everyone else. (AKA rise raph around his family, 2012 raph with everyone else)

thinking about the fact the Kraang while trying to make the baroque turtles into super soldiers because their robot bodies are weak af gave them like these insane powers so when Splinter adopted them this poor, grieving, traumatized old man had to not only take care of four rambunctious and mischievous turtle babies, he had to take care of four rambunctious and mischievous turtle babies who could set themselves on fire and walk through walls and short circuit every electronic device in his house just by sneezing, and have prophetic visions. poor guy

like imagine the terrible twos splinter is running around trying to find Raph because its bath time but he keeps walking through sewer walls, he's carrying Mikey but he has to drop him because he spontaneously burst into flames again, Donnie is literally the only one who is in the bath because he knows they're going to watch his favorite movie as a treat afterwards, and Leo read somewhere that electricity powers mean you can possibly read someone's mind, so he's following Splinter around trying to read his mind. and splinters like "How did I get into this situation"

okay so in this vers Splinter and his father had come from Japan (Haven't figured out why yet) and somehow ended up in a sort of rebellion against the kraang (it's just them two trying to thwart their plans) ne day they go in because they heard they're experimenting with some kind of supersoldiers, and they find out that they mutated four teeny tiny helpless baby turtles. So they're like "we gotta save them!!" But in the process they set off a mutagen bomb accidentally which mutates Splinter into the rat (Idk they just had some sopping wet pathetic rat dna in it or something) Splinters dad fucking dies but he manages to escape to the sewers with the turtles and trains them in ninjitsu. However, 15 years later he learns that his father DIDN'T die, he was brainwashed by the kraang and is now the Shredder and he wants to fucking kill them

I am also currently thinking about. newverse karai (Sentient robot)

I wasn't originally going to have voice claims for the baroque boys but then I listened to War! and heard Zach Callison go "What? You didn't know?" And now that's B!Leo's voice claim

the baroque was an artstyle in the late 1400s and as told by this snippet, this fits my turtles in more ways than one; the turtles, who are mutants and therefore not accepted by society and probably would be described by humans as grotesque or ugly or whatever. But they're also elaborate. Leo (who is the artist of the family in this version) cut's his mask tails into little lightning bolts and starches them so they keep their shape. raph is a creamsicle. Mikey is punk (spikes) and also has his mask tails cut into little flames (unstarched, though) and even Donnie has Leo paint the spots on his shell purple

(not a discord snippet, but i havent actually talked about my kraang or bishop in depth yet) in this version, the kraang (who look more like 2012 kraang but arent a hivemind) are still aliens ofc, but thereres these four kraang who are ostracized by their alien society bc theyre kinda pathetic, so they banded together and came to earth in hopes of taking it over and transforming it yadda yadda to prove to the other kraang they arent bitch ass losers. when they get there, however, they meet a cyborg woman with a mysterious past who offers to make them a wonderous mostly robotic army. they agree, not realizing that shes manipulative and insane, and she ends up just taking over their whole thing, the four kraang are kind of just her servants now but she works under their name. (this is bishop, by the way. if rise can make casey a woman than i can make bishop a woman #feminism)

#baroque verse #if you want clarification on any of this i will be Glad to answer btw :D

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give-soup-please · 2 years

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would it be alright to know which asks/prompts you're considering working on? i'm very curious to know what sorts of things catch your eye and what doesnt

I'm not sure how much good it will do to answer this ask now, given that we've got a little over 2.5 weeks left before I stop writing headcanons for good, but I'll do it anyway. Certain prompts are easier to write for than others, that's for sure. I'll do my best to keep these anons anonymous and not call them out, but there are some trends I've noticed.

The main thing I've noticed is that people send in concepts instead of prompts. There's a distinct difference between a prompt and a concept. I'm taking this example from a friend of mine, because he's better at explaining it than I am.

"a prompt is something that prompts you to think about an idea and to fill in the gaps with your own ideas and concepts.

a concept itself is more like, something that exists and is there. for example, "You now have purple hair" is a concept, "What would you do if you wanted to dye your hair" is a prompt."

As you can imagine, I much prefer prompts over concepts. Prompts have more wiggle room and allow for more creativity.

Sometimes people get... too specific. The ideal prompt strikes a balance between being specific enough to generate ideas, while still being general enough that I can explore a few different scenarios, and choose which one I like most.

Other ones I don't like doing involve being told exactly what to write. An example my friend came up with to illustrate this issue goes as follows: "What if the narrator ate an apple and was like 'ew, what is this, i've never tried this before' and then threw the apple away?" They just tell me to rewrite what they've wrote, which isn't great.

I hope this doesn't seem too much like me just complaining. Most of what's left in my inbox is really hard to write for, which is why posts are slow. I have around 90 or so in my inbox, and... I'm having a lot trouble.

It's why I don't answer in order of what's received, though I probably should. It's why I chose to leave the inbox open, because all that's left... I'm really struggling with. I need the new ideas both because they've got the potential to be good, and occasionally they unblock something that will make an older prompt doable.

I don't hold ill will about any request that's sent in, and I don't want people to feel guilty. But these are things people should be aware of.

As for what I do love writing for, well-

The weighted blanket ones were a lot of fun, but I think I've taken that as far as I can. Obsessive narrator is also hella fun. Father figure is a real hoot. I love writing about a narrator who loves, whatever form that takes. I enjoy getting to write his more unhinged self, because he's very unhinged underneath the fancy words and propriety. He's half writer, half theatre kid. I love writing chase scenes, too. The narrator strikes me as someone who pursues the people/things he enjoys, and that's almost always guaranteed to be fun.

The thing is, I've looked back at what I've written, and I've looked back at the things I've had the most fun doing, and the truth is, there are no specific prompts that are guaranteed to be fun. I've had obsessive narrator prompts that were 'meh' and the same with father figure. It might just be luck. Sometimes a prompt will come in and there's that jolt I get in my brain. I crack a smile, and type furiously until I burn out. That's only happened around five or so times, and those are the ones that are multiple pages long. (big brother narrator, breaking narrator out of the game, narrator accidentally cloning himself, narrator pulling reader into the game, and others)

But there's no guarantee of that happening, no formula that creates that response automatically.

I really hope this doesn't come off as me sounding like an asshole, but what's left in the inbox is stumping me. I feel bad that I can't write what people want me to write for, but inspiration for them is difficult for the above reasons.

I also want to make clear that just because a response is short, doesn't mean I hated the prompt. Sometimes, things are just hard to write for.

I stare at some of these prompts with bleary eyes, with nothing coming to mind, and it doesn't feel good. I want to make you guys happy, which means writing. There are days I can't write, and... I feel terrible. Part of me is quietly relieved that I'm ending the blog on my own terms, because the self pressure will ease.

Anyway, there's your overly long, detailed answer.

#personal #not tsp related

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communist-cat-girl · 1 year

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i wrote way too much shit so ima paraphrase what made me block someone a minute ago

if someone rewrites a story and makes the characters gay, thats fine if you think doin that shows that you have “gay blinders”, just block me

if youre mad about that, keep readin. if you dont wanna read, block me. its a bad faith take thats on par with “representation is pointless” and “i wish modern media would stop shovin gays down my throat” type 4chan shit

if you dont know what i mean, be thankful! its a pointless bit of discourse that doesnt matter to any real world person except queers online who want to gatekeep every aspect of bein a queer. be gay and free, fuck these hos

“just because its gay doesnt mean its better!” feels a little bad faith? like ya, its obviously not necessarily better, but the thing is ... im gay ... so i have a vested interest in if whether or not they get together; not to mention it recontextualizes stories as one’s of aggression against oppression (if they werent already) that makes me doubly interested as an anarchist.

if we look at, say, Alice Isnt Dead we can see this in full swing both ways. not only is the core audience and creative team behind Welcome to Nightvale openly supportive or queer themselves, so too are those who’ve worked on Alice Isnt Dead. Not only does this mean that the queer audience will feel catered too but the queer staff will be more likely to *want* to work on this, to put their whole ass into this project and make it better than if they were just paid to make some mlw piece of media.

and would the mlw idea rly work when the end of part 1 and all of part 2, spoilers by the way, of alice isnt dead are about the gov’t doin absolutely everythin it can to keep them apart and how *keepin them apart, even as alice is part of this shadowy institution, didnt make them happy and didnt solve the wider problems of the world anyways*

im sorry, but if that story wasnt gay, if its gayness didnt put into focus the issues real gay people face, then that story is ostensibly weaker, its prose less profound, its themes less touchin

now, to talk about the post that made me want to write this ...

im not gonna link it or even directly phrase it, i dont want anyone comin onto me or comin onto anyone else over this (not like my small follower count would)

the tldr is that, the hades and persephone myth is ... well, its kinda shit. its a kidnappin, its a possibly a sexual assault, its a woman forced into a bad circumstance; and so if you made this myth wlw and say its better you “have blinders because its gay” or somethin; which ive never heard anyone suggest EVER but sure, whatever

disclaimer, i am a hellenic pagan, more specifically of roman traditions, so my opinion on the *story itself* is complicated. so im not gonna be sayin much about that.

what i really care about is how somone brings of the Hades Game and i *think* lore olympus retellin where persephone is kidnapped, lowkey on purpose possibly, and eats of the pomegranate to like ... get at her naggin mom, or w/ever. thats not actually the story of the Hades Game nor of the more popular modern helpol retellin but its close enough.

the person who relays this paraphrased story says that if its wlw its better than it would be if it was mlw (and, in gnrl, this retellin is far more palatable to a modern audience; which isnt even rly debateable) and the person complainin say somethin about “gay blinders” says “no it wouldnt be” and a cry emoji.

now, ignorin how ... perhaps accidentally homophobic that comes off as ... like ... it would. mlw forbidden love doesnt really strike the same chord like it used to. in a time of arranged marriage and loveless lives, this concept was REALLY important and was the framein of most myths about a couple in the Mediterranean durin antiquity. problem is, these days, while expectations are hard even for mlw couples, youre still largely goin to get reluctant parents go “*sigh* fine, you may”

and unless youre under a rock you may have forgotten that us fags have a habit of gettin shot for lovin who we love

so ya, the story of forbidden love between a fem hades and a sapphic persephone bein a story of gay love in which they fight against all odds and become happy with each other is substantially more *touchin* (and thus “better” in the common parlance) than the same milk toast mlw forbidden love thats been shoved down queer people’s throats since day one of our birth.

whats rly annoyin is that op doesnt explain WHY “gay blinders” are such a bad thing anyway? is it genuinely so bad to enjoy gay stories more? to see yourself represented in a piece of media, esp one that you already connect so strongly too?

the worst outcome is “because its gay people think the story is good” but ... i dont think anyone is confused about the story of hades and persephone anyways? like, the ancients werent fuckin morons. zeus was a tyrant king and a story of how despots, even one’s who gain it thru noble means, will inevitably abuse their power. athena was dedicated to protectin women but when a woman needed her most she turned her into a fuckin monster. hera, in her hetero jealousy, harms WOMEN more than men when it comes to vengeance because she believes *the harmful actions of men against women are the fault of women.* and WHO suggests that the ancients thought otherwise?

do you think they would be allowed to spread such horrific and grotesque tales without approval from religious or political authorities if this was not an intentional and integral aspect of their faith? is it not curious that most ancient writers dont rly talk about these tales but only speak of the gods in a Vague sense? is it not curious that the details are obfuscated? ignored? its because while the gods love us and care for us they are also fickle and jealous and violent and they must be, in the ancient view, respected OUT OF FEAR

they clearly understood that these were representations of natural causes (a commonly held belief by ancient philosophers) and so their stories show that the natural outcome of things like LIGHTNING STORMS or EARTHQUAKES happen to everyone because the world is just Like That Sometimes; givin names to these causes just makes it easier to explain them. it helps them figure out the Shape of their trauma, far easier than the existential horror that we experience in our hyper objective world of today

so no, i dont think your modern liberal minded fag is gonna go “oh hades and persephone is so romantic” and even helpols on this site pretty famously go for the stories that resonate more with them on a personal level than the ancient stories men told other men to make them feel good about bein men

yes, even if the story is about two gays

if you think a story is bad on a personal level and think gayness wouldnt solve it ... Okay. thats subjective, movin on.

if you think its bad because makin it gay is a superficial bit of representation, im sorry you live a borin life? all representation is superficial then, if you wanted to be that kindve a jerk about it.

if you think makin it gay harms the original script, im sorry to tell you that oral history has changed most scripts so beyond their original form that we will NEVER be able to know that that original story was (and very likely, from an anthropological point of view, the origin of these stories could be as old as 5 to 10 thousand years ago told in different times with different gods and different circumstnaces; we will NEVER know the original story)

changin the story to fit your modern sensibilities and makin it gay is not bad, dont let anyone tell you otherwise. it even might make the story infinitely better! who knows, who cares! write what makes you happy, fuck these hos

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fleastinger · 2 days

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I dont think you realize how hard this is going for me.

Its like picking at a burn that desperately needs to be left alone, risking infection every pull. Like my eyebrows. Like my ingrowns. It's not good for me, even now, when all I could think of is letter every day from the past week.

If I doing good, I think of you, and wonder if you're thinking of me. Unblock on soundcloud, search you on twitter, then block again. I wonder if you knew I kept looking at your music even after you messaged me. The moment you hid your likes is when I realized how bad I was getting.

And If I feel bad..... I think of you, and compare. I would miss how I would cry in front of you, but get sad imagining how you would respond. I think this wouldve been worse for you, since I was so quick to play victim and not own up to how I needed help.

I thought about it. I really did. I accidentally hit follow at work once, when I was thinking of you. I freaked out. I was scared to acknowledge how much you kept reaching out , and scared that I lead you on for my mistake. But i thought about it. I kept acknowledged how I felt through my reposts. Listening to pink reminded me of you so much. But it was too late for us.

I think if I had waited, and broke up with R , I wouldve been with you. I wouldve been mad, but i wouldve accepted the fact that you called the last day of the ultimatum.

But what happened shattered me. You have to understand. I always saw myself as a loyal person. R was someone I really considered kids with, until I realized I wouldn't be happy so young with them. I was ready to break up with him for you. I just got impatient, too comfortable. I got self destructive. I lost my mind the night we fucked. I was so depressed when we were together, guilty over how I handled myself. I feel like, no matter how depressed and hopeless I feel right now, at least I am not always smoking away my responsibilities and being stressed about you. Being mad, distrustful, exhausted, bitter. We had more people rooting for us than we realized on my families side. But neither of us were able to anymore. I truly feel that you are free of me now that you've let go first. And I only wish the best for you, hate that we werent the best for one another, and hope that you would understand if I let go too.

I think its scary for me to write that. But its an inevitable fall. I think of someone else now when I say baby. I really found enjoyment in cooking again, something I had a hard time doing without you. And I can't go back.

And it feels weird to start falling in love again. The beginnings of it, how he makes me feel like I can really keep going. how I want to encourage him and be there for him as he goes through decision making through life atm. I felt helpless, asking him for help, but I know he has my back, and all I want to do is return the favor and be there for him. To be better with him, for myself and for him.

And just.... i get mad, but not the same kind of mad. I can calm myself down and not yell . I can cry it out and be patient. I think that you and I had too much trauma, acting out the way we were yelled at to each other as kids through our fights.

I was scared of being like your mom. I knew my depression was getting worse, fueled by my anxiety. I felt like I was becoming a worse version of myself and hated how I treated you. And when you messaged me on tumblr, pleading to reach out, I felt so fucking sad. I wish I could reach out to you, sometimes, and just tell you how much ive been struggling. How sucidal i feel, how scared I was over getting evicted. How it scares me to be so depressed, to feel like it doesnt matter if I'm here.

But i knew if I reached out everything would fall apart. No one would support me anymore. I wouldve accepted losing my apartment and let my job fall into jepoardy. And none of my friends or family would support me again.

And i know for certain I would not be here, with my cat, saved from eviction.

You wouldve hated my cat. I really do think that. You wouldve loved petting and playing with her, but you wouldve smoked in here with me , and hated how i would run home to take care of her instead of cuddle you and harley. I think harley would stress her out and scare her, and i probably wouldve been alone for her (or worse, not home if she was in labor).

I'm sorry, Zach. Its over. And you were right. I wish i wasn't a coward when i broke up with you that final time and did it in person. Your last words haunted me. You still loved me until the end. And I wish things were better. Maybe I wouldnt have been so hung up on you so msny times if we split in person.

Please.....I wish you get help and live a long, wonderful life, full of happiness. I hope you find love again and do better for her.

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lorisystem · 7 months

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Sorry about to be negative but need vent

So i had a rlly difficult day and tbh this probably doesnt help but these thoughts i have them all the time its a constant opinion and not just a negative spiral. Although right now feeling this a lot and affecting me more than usual

Anyway like i got back from paid leave last week and my job is like rlly demanding. Im gonna say for me because my threshold for difficult is really low. But yea its just the workload is fairly heavy, theres a lot of pressure, and theres a lot of drama etc. To be fair my neurotypical coworkers are also struggling etc.

But anyway one of the things about paid leave is that when you are able to be off for enough days in a row (like 3 weeks in my case) it really feels like. I was fine during paid leave enjoying my little life doing whatever i wanted being paid etc. You go back to work and its like. Why am i subjecting myself to this. Why. Whats the point. It doesnt even matter. Do i have to even? Why did we all decide to just be doing this. So whatever but thats one thing going on etc

Idkkkk if its like. Haha seasonal or what but im having slightly more suicidal ideation than usual. Like this is not worrying at all like im not in danger or anything. Disclaimer i wont do anything etc. And im saying this completely deadpan non emotionally- Buttt like to give an idea even at my happiest / euphoric i always think of dying as a good thing. I rlly have a hard time finding anything worth it. Literally best i can do is "yeah for this reason i can endure until i die of natural/accidental causes but rlly glad that it does end at some point". So thats my baseline i live like this and most of the time im fine cause like, my number one priority in life is to avoid whatever causes me suffering and stress and like the thing about suicide is that non violent methods are inaccessible to me which i think is unethical but thats my own issue lol. So basically as long as my life is less painful than suicide im at no risk of dying and i do my best to minimize suffering, doing fine on that, so everything is fine. Alright

But like anyway i was thinking that my number one problem in life currently and idk how to solve it its impossible right?

Is like. I want to live a life where i can be myself/not mask. That is to say be authentically who i am speak like i think act like i think dress how i want use the pronouns i use etc (im talking about displaying asd traits, dressing weird, being trans, ace, polyam queer etc) like just harmless things that are my core personality and defining traits right. AND be respected as a human being.

That is to say like id like to go outside and participate in society sometimes without having to pretend to be "normal" and also at the same time to not get weird looks, not get nasty looks, not get catcalled, not get harassed, not get commented upon, not get someone coming up to me to comment on my outfit or be mean to me, not get someone feeling entitled to treat me as subhuman, not stalked, not at fear of being assaulted, not get rumors spread about me, not followed around, not preyed upon etc etc just for existing <3 bc i dare to look abnormal and vulnerable ppl notice and think im not human.

Ive had all those happen to me and thankfully nothing too bad either like it happens to some ppl so i will display a certain amount of disgusting gratefulness bc of course i have some privilege so there is obviously way worse than me. Somehow still enough to make me traumatized and agoraphobic!

I just want to exist and that its ok and that ppl dont wonder if thats ok if they should take advantage of me or try to help and correct whatever is wrong with me.

And that is too much to ask! Its literally too much to ask.

We live in a world where we cant expect especially marginalized ppl, to be respected. To exist outside or in public etc and just not get someone to make us understand thats somth is wrong with us.

I have to pretend to be normal, all this effort so at the end of the day not only am i dead inside but also i still know ppl think theres still somth off about me.

So anyway this is my pipe dream and the reason ill never think anything is good or worth it. Is there in the world a happy place like this? I think about it all the time, where is the land i can be happy and ppl act normal to me.

Anyway a dream ive had is to save up and buy a house on a mortgage and like. I have a good salary at the moment for a single person, its pretty good. But my spouse is struggling to find a job and anything resembling takes a lot of energy from them so idk if its viable long term even and on my salary alone thats impossible. So idk. And like thats fine but its sad cause my spouse is rlly depressed about it etc.... capitalism does this to us.. yk how it is..

Im thinking maybe i should just attempt to start a thing to get disability aid or somth which is. The amount is basically only the minimum to live for one person if you leave in a shoebox and have no expense. So like the quality of life for myself and my spouse would seriously decrease in terms of living space and other nice things so like meh. But most importantly id have to get reevaluated every few years etc at risk of losing it if i stop qualifying it. Which can reasonably happen even if the doctor i have changes and they decide no longer disabled or someth even. That is if i even get it cause like i am actually capable at least for now to work full time in the way i do. Sucks the whole time, but capable. So idk what to do. Maybe i reduce my time of work. Idk. The fear of losing the disability is rlly too much for me too like. I have no financial support if that happens i cant count on my family at all for anything. Im too scared/traumatized by poverty to not have stability.

Honestly i think its just this forever then? Ig i should make another therapy appointment but last time my therapist said something that set me off and now i dont wanna go again its so dumb cause i rlly like her and been w her for like. Idk almost 2 years now. And she just said one thing which i think even she meant nothing by it and now im just like. I rlly hate that its happening i just feel the ick.

I was telling this to my spouse too like when you repress your emotions so much all the time you stop feeling sadness or anger etc you just feel the ick. Like profoundly uncomfortable with no words to put on it rlly

So thats going on for me ♡ sorry for being negative though just going through my mind but ill be ok etc

#lorisys #idk who iam rn chimera blend 24 7 honestlee #super long negative vent on readmore read only at your risks and perils be advised etc etc not tagging

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ridermatsu · 8 months

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venting tiiime

i am so fucking pissed off night now. i know im barely here nowadays but this is the only place i know no one irl follows me so i need to vent.

Context: brother got married almost 2 years ago. they have an 80-lbs golden doodle puppy (1-2 years old) and had a baby in late June.

we were supposed to visit my brother in halifax (5 hrs away) this weekend coming up. then last night, mom gets a text from SIL asking us to take Murphy (their dog) until Thanksgiving. So, about a month.

Now WE have a dog. Her name is Cookie. she's a 13-year-old lhasapoo with a meat allergy. We love her, she's in pretty good health but we know she probably has another good year or two. Cookie can tolerate Murphy (they have before, we kept him for a week during Fiona and she was OK), but obviously we don't want to put too much stress on her.

So my mom says "im really sorry, but we can't take Murphy for a month". inb4 anyone asks, the in-laws can't take him because they have an elderly golden retriever who hates Murphy, so he can't stay with them for a month.

this morning, mom got a text from my brother. he said that his wife is really stressed out, with the baby and the dog, and that "company probably isn't good for this weekend". whihc translates to: "my wife is mad you wont take Murphy for a month so she doesnt want you to come sorry"

i am going. fucking insane. the absolute gall and audacity of this bitch. i dont hate SIL. but she infuriates me to my core. the entitlement.

after a small "break" they took when dating (which she blamed on my mom making naughty jokes about kitchens and rooster decorations), my parents have been walking on eggshells around her. IVE been walking on eggshells around her. we have been trying to compromise and make peace. but BY GOD is it hard to do that when you have someone who expects everything to go her way all the time.

i get she just had a baby. fuck, she even told my brother that she's been snapping at the dog for simply existing in her presence because of her postpartum rage. but my GOD as much as i love murphy they should NOT have gottwn him if they knew they were planning a baby. this wasnt an accidental baby!!! this was PLANNED!!!! and they were still like "you know what we should do? get a puppy that will grow to 80 pounds!!!"

but im not just upset with her. im upset with my brother too. because he ALSO walks on eggshells around her, he lets her walk all over him like a fucking doormat all the time. my brother loves dogs, but i dont think he realized how huge the responsibilty of raising a dog was. he also loves his son. that's his lil baby boy, of course he loves him!!! but he doesnt know how to say no to her, or talk to her. obv i dont know about their private life but from the lil glimpses ive gotten, it doesnt seem good. do i think he wanted to tell my mom not to come up this weekend because SIL is in a bad mood because we wont bend over backwards for her? no. did he still do it instead of having the important conversations about what to do about their situation? yeah. he did.

as much as it pains me to think about, i think they should rehome Murphy to someone who has the time and patience to train him and raise him well. my brother has patience but no time, and SIL has neither with a baby on her hands (and honestly i wouldnt be surprised if she just got a dog to make him happy without thinking about the consequences). because literally none of this is Murphy's fault! hes jsut a puppy! an overgrown, dumb and loveable puppy!!! i would take him in a heartbeat if i could!!! but i cant!!! because i have an elderly dog and i live with my paretns!!!!

this is not a good quality of life for him. Murphy deserves better.

#kelseytalks #been a while. hi #im seething with rage!#r/aita #family issues #tw rehoming #dogs

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changbeens · 3 years

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following new blogs on tungle dot fart is one of the most anxiety enducing things about this website

#do they want me to follow them?#am i accidentally following someone that doesnt want me following them?#do they know me already and think i'm a dick?#what if my trackpad double clicks and i accidentally unfollow them immediately and have to refollow them?#aaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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hirokari · 3 years

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dreamies when a pervert gets a little too close

You'd invited your friends to a quick café run, but soon regret it when a creep gets a little too close when you're alone.

･ﾟ✧ MARK

at first assumes its one of your friends

soon realizes its not by your body language

panicking because he's still ordering his drink

"um, i'll have an americano, thank you. nokeepthechangeiminarush."

intends to casually jog towards you, but accidentally sprints

"Y/N! is this a friend?"

hands are automatically on your shoulders

"i dont like this friend- no offense. wait, no yeah, you should take offense, yeah."

deadpans when creep doesn't take the hint

"dude, go away, will you?"

is more relieved than you when mr. creep finally takes off

"has that happened before? you can talk to me about it, yeah?"

･ﾟ✧ RENJUN

notices almost immediately

seems collected, but is boiling inside

quickly walks up to you, grabbing your hand

"Y/N! are drinks are ready, come lets go get them."

glares when creep tries following

"excuse me? i dont think we know you- you were talking to them? no, you i dont think you were. goodbye!"

is almost giddy at the fact that you trust him enough to take his hand

asks if you're okay the moment you lose mr. creep

"call me the next time that happens, okay? i wont let them touch you."

･ﾟ✧ DONGHYUCK

is the one to draw most attention

gasps loudly when he spots mr. creep's hands on your shoulder

cancels his orders and walks away with no apologies

oh gosh mr. creep's hand is on your hip- oh no its not. lee donghyuck just kicked it off

"who the fuck-"

"that's my fucking line, you bastard! tell me, would you like to leave with your own two feet or should i throw your perverted ass out the window?"

ooo everyone's watching

doesnt leave your side for the next two days

"he was ugly anyway. fret not, call me when you need someone's ass kicked."

･ﾟ✧ JAEMIN

has unfortunately dealt with creeps a lot

freezes when he sees mr. creep attempting to get closer.

walks from the counter without a word, the confused employee watches

"hey, hands off."

glaring intensifies when bastard decides not to

"seriously, i am this close to breaking your nose."

as much as you don't want that to happen-- you want that to happen

bastard gives him the oh-so-benefit of the doubt

at the end of the day, you miss your classes, jaemin rainchecks on his plans, and you're in the police department.

"hey, there's no need to apologize. if anything, i should be saying sorry."

･ﾟ✧ JENO

seems innocent but whoo creep boutta get fucked up

manages to hold both your drinks in one hand

puffs his chest out and flexes his arms

intimidating squints

no words, warps an arm around you and walks away

is glad you're on the same page and walk with him

"hey! that's my property!"

"WOW ARE THEY? SINCE WHEN DID PERVERTS LIKE YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO OBJECTIFY SOMEONE WHO IS CLEARLY UNCOMFORTABLE JUST BEING AROUND YOU?"

wow, he thinks. did i pull a karen? was that too karen of me?

after walking a minute in silence, you laugh a little, remembering the horrified face the bastard had on his face

"what why are you laughing? are you alright? he didn't drug you or anything, right?"

･ﾟ✧ CHENLE

a prepared king

handles the situation like a champ

is already by your side because he'd noticed the guy eyeing you the moment you two came in

"don't panic, there's a fugly rat staring at you 7 o' clock."

is actually surprised he's approaching you two

"hi, are you taken?"

chenle feigns, the audacity

"um, im literally right here. please, if you would, stop hitting on my partner."

"you're their partner? you don't look it,"

"dude, you don't either, but here you are hitting on them. please, leave."

mr. creep gives up with a reluctant glare, and chenle scoffs, patting your shoulder where the man had touched as if it were dirty

"these perverts have no shame these days. when that happens again, you should try these tricks:"

･ﾟ✧ JISUNG

stern and stubborn

unconsciously puffs his cheeks out because he's pissed

manages to stay calm at the cashier and while walking to you

seems you've already mentioned him, because you're pointing and shuffling towards him

wow what a height difference

"this is the friend i'm out with," he smiles-- maybe a little sarcastically-- when you mention him

"...this is a kid."

"you're shaped like a kid. donttouchthem." he guards your arm with his

"oh look, our drinks are ready."

"mind if i tag along?"

"god, yes, we mind. we mind a mindful. please go away."

huffs with his whole chest when mr. creep finally walks away

"im sorry, ignorant bastards like him get on my nerves. you're okay, though, right?"

hirokari, 2021

916 notes · View notes

crypticwanda · 3 years

Note

Hi. I know this is sounds lame,but i'm very new to tumblr.i dont know how this apps works but I found ur profile last night and really love what you write. Will binge read all of them.😊 i saw you r open for request. How about y/n n wanda been dating n wanda gets jealous thought y/n cheated on her but she actually doesnt. And if u r comfortable writing this,maybe wanda accidentally blast her with her power since her power is connected to her emotion,wanda founds out she didnt cheat on her n feels bad then they made up. Really loves your works..thank u.😊

Oh my god ANGST and thank you so much! 💞

You don't trust me?

summary: wanda starts to become suspicious that reader is cheating on her and things start to get messy

pairing(s): wanda maximoff x fem!reader

warnings: arguing, cursing, little violence, there's a happy ending though

notes: can you tell I know nothing about the medical field

taglist: @myperfectlovepoem @supersourlemon13 @royalityofmultifandom @madamevirgo @b0mbdotc0m @fayhar @olsensnpm @internetsubmarines @aana4664 @xxxtwilightaxelxxx @imapotato

An exhausted sigh left your lips as you closed your eyes and opened your front door. It was around 2 am and you had just gotten off of work and back to your home. It was dark in your living room and you tried to be as quiet as possible, not to wake your sleeping girlfriend. You slowly and quietly made your way upstairs and opened your bedroom door. As you slowly turned to close the door behind you, you heard the light switch flip on. You turned around to see a tired wanda sitting up in her bed, her hand still slightly emitting red showing that she used her powers to flip the light switch on.

"I'm so sorry honey, I didn't mean to wake you up." You whispered as you walked over to her in the bed. You leaned down to plant a kiss on her head as she groggily grunts in response and lays her head back down on the pillow. You walked around your bed as you began taking off your work clothes and quickly putting on your pajamas. You crawled into bed underneath the covers and wrapped your arms around Wanda's waist. She hummed softly as she laid her hands ontop of your own and you placed a soft kiss at the crook of her neck. You almost instantly drifted off into sleep as you laid next to wanda in your comfortable bed.

The next day, you and wanda were just finishing up dinner as you heard your phone chime from the table next to you. You picked it up to see it was your assistant from the hospital. "Hello?" You asked as you answered the call. "Y/N, there's a patient here who needs surgery." You heard her say on the other line. "I already left work, can't you get someone else to fill in for me?" You ask as Wanda turns her head up to look at you. "Everyone else is busy with other work, you're one of our only available." She says across the line. You sigh deeply as you bring up a hand up to your temples. "Fine, I'll be there." You say briefly as you hang up.

"More work?" Wanda asks as she reverts her eyes back to her plate with an annoyed tone. "I'm so sorry baby, it's just that everyone's busy and I'm the only available surgeon right now." You explain as you put your jacket around your arms. Wanda didn't respond as she kept her eyes away from you. "I'm so sorry." You repeat sadly as you walk over to her and lay a hand on her cheek and turn her face to look at you. You lean down and softly press your lips against her own as you heard her sigh through her nose. You pulled away and held her cheek softly. "I'll make this up to you, I promise." You whisper as her lips purused downward.

She nods softly as you turn and begin to walk out of the door. "Hopefully I can be back around 1 but, I'm not sure." You tell her as you walk out of the door. You open your car door, start the engine and pull out of your driveway as you make your way to the hospital.

Many hours had passed when your surgery was finally complete. You were now on your way home at around 4 am, completely exhausted and ready to pass out. You groan as you step out of your car and make your way up the driveway and open your front door. You hear the lock click as you push open the door and walk inside. To your surprise, the lights were on and wanda was sitting on the couch with almost an angry look on her face. "Oh, you're still awake." You said surprised as you closed the door behind you. "I was waiting for you." She breathed out as she stood up from the couch. "You said you'd be here at 1." She said, obviously annoyed as she crossed her arms. "Well, I was hoping to come home at 1 but the surgery lasted longer than I thought." You tell her as you scratch the back of your neck.

Wanda breathed harshly through her nostrils as she looked at you. "You know you've been doing these night shifts for a while now." She snapped as she turned and began walking into the kitchen while continuing to talk to you. "I know honey, and you don't understand how sorry I am for that." You pleaded as you followed her into the kitchen. "You know, I'm starting to believe that these are just more than surgeries." She hissed as she quickly turned around to face you. "What are you talking about?" You asked as your face scrunched in confusion. A few moments later you realised what she had meant. "Wait, do you think I'm cheating on you?" You asked as you pointed to your own chest. "I didn't say that!" She snapped, her volume increasing. "Wanda, I would never cheat on you." You say shaking your head as wanda brings a hand to the top of her head.

"Why would you even think that?" You ask, your volume was loud but your voice was breaking. Wanda shut her eyes harshly as she turned her body away from you. "Wanda-" you begin once again as you softly grab ahold of her forearm. Before you knew it, red power emitted from Wanda and you felt your body fly across the kitchen and your back hit the cabinets. You grunted as you heard a few glasses fall onto the ground and shatter. Your body hit the ground as a groan escaped your lips. Wanda gasps and puts a hand over her mouth as she realised what she had done. "Y/N!" She yelled as she ran over to you and kneeled next to you on the ground. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to." She frantically tried to talk to you as tears were welling up in her eyes. "I'm fine." You breathe out as you push yourself up and press your back against the counter.

"Wanda, honey, I love you absolutely more than anything. You're my world and everything I want and more, why would I ever want anything other than you?" You said with tears in your eyes as you softly laid your hands on either side of her cheeks. A single tear fell from Wanda's eye as she hung her head low. "I know and I'm sorry, I trust you Y/N." She whispers out as her forehead pressed against yours. You leaned in and tilted your head as you pressed your lips onto hers. She wrapped her arms around your neck and pulled you close, you could feel tears falling from her eyes onto your own skin. You pulled away after a few moments and gave her a soft smile. "I'm gonna take some time off, to be with you." You say. "Y/N you don't have to-" Wanda begins but you cut her off. "I want to." She looked up at you with a soft smile as you returned one.

#marvel #mcu #mcu headcanons #the avengers #avengers #avengers x reader #mcu x reader #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda x reader #avengers headcanon #wanda maximoff x you #wanda x you #wanda maximoff #wanda hcs #wanda oneshot #wanda maximov

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izukult · 3 years

Text

haiykuu boys react to a long distance partner surprising them

characters: hinata, kageyama, oikawa, sugawara, nishinoya, tsukishima

established relationship | warnings: swearing, my fan behavior, why are my head canons so long in this gd it’s like a tiny story without structure

hinata shōyō

-SUNSHINE BOY (i went crazy for this one i’m so sorry)

-you were sugawara’s old middle school penpal which turned online friend

-so obviously you’d heard about his volleyball team and the new first year star players

-and one thing led to another where he introduced you to hinata

-actually you were facetiming suga and you saw hinata and told your old friend you thought the tangerine boy was cute and then koushi “accidentally” put you in a gc together

-you and hinata have been dating for about four months

-you’ve heard everything to a t, including small little remarks from tsukishima to every toss, kill, and miss your boyfriend and kageyama managed

-side note but it’s so cute this boy is so whipped for you if you don’t respond for a certain amount of time he’ll find some dumb excuse to talk to suga just so he can shift the convo to making sure you’re safe

-anyway

-so you’re going to meet suga finally

-like FINALLY you’re so excited

-but you’re also boutta see your boyfriend!!!!!!

-buuuuuuuuuut your boyfriend didn’t know

-so it’s safe to say you were a little nervous about it

-you made suga swear up and down that he wouldn’t tell any of his teammates that you specifically were coming, but he did ask to make sure it was okay to have a semi open practice

-so you’re standing outside the volleyball gym with sugawara, backpack with hinatas favorite snacks over your shoulder. practice had already started so suga was late, but he still stood outside with you and let you prepare yourself

-you felt like you were about to throw up even though that’s shoyo’s thing

-suga walks in before you and you follow shortly after, holding in a sharp breath.

-there he was. standing on the other side of the gym, talking to who you knew as kageyama

-he hadn’t seen you yet, but other member of karasuno had

-”yoo who’s this hottie” bald, flirtatious, you had to assume its tanaka

-hinata was in the middle of jumping for a spike when he saw you, and he froze and fell to the ground, stumbling to keep his balance

-the gym got quiet at the tangerines reaction, but he was just staring at you.

-and then he was doing that “woosh” run he always told you about and before you knew it his arms were around your waist and his head was buried in your shoulder.

-everyone (literally EVERYONE) was looking at you two but you just laughed and placed a hand in his hair (which, holy fuck, is soft)

-you mouthed an apology to suga and he shrugged you off, and focused your attention back on the boy in front of you

he pulled back just enough to look at you, leaving his hands to rest on your back. his eyes were filled with tears (cute) and he offered you a smile.

“you’re here” his voice was quiet, for once, but it didn’t have any lag this time. and it was so fucking beautiful.

“i’m here.” you nodded, eyes scanning the features of his face. he chuckled lightly, a tear falling to his cheek as he shook his head.

“you’re so pretty.” his voice was watery and he moved his head back in your shoulder before you could utter a compliment back.

-he stayed attached to you for like minutes okay and this man completely ignored the teasing of his classmates.

-eventually you tried to pull him off you so he could get on with practice (and so you could watch him practice) but he refused to get off

-”bubs. babe. honey. you gotta get up”

-”hey hey hey, what about showing me a cool spike?”

-”i am literally asking you to do your favorite thing in the world sho,”

-”new favorite thing is holding you.”

-YOUR HEART

-eventually you did get him off of you and he practiced the HARDEST he had

-after practice he introduced you to everyone as his girlfriend even though you’d literally been introduced to them like an hour before

-his eyes stay on you and he constantly tells you how pretty you are face to face and how you smell good and how soft your hands are

-it would sound stalkerish if you werent whipped

-its ok hes whipped too

kageyama tobio

-no idea how youd meet this mf online

-maybe some volleyball forum or like arguing over which setter was betting in youtube comments

-or if you know nothing about volleyball,,,,

-i have no fucking clue BUT

-he doesnt mind long distance honestly

-he doesnt have to get worried about completely embarrassing himself and he never has to make like physical moves

-but he does wish he could hold your hand sometimes.

-but he ignores it🙄

-so you are like obsessed w this bitch u r in love w him🤢🤢

-and ur a good 90% sure he luv u too

-so you plan a trip to him

-you do it all out. you talk to his mom, you find the cheapest hotel that’s perfect distance between his house and his school bc ur just that cool

-and you even make up an excuse to kageyama for why you won’t be on your phone during the flight

-you know he’s gonna be at practice bc you know his schedule cos gf things

-you stocked up on banana milk (aka you brought like four)

-you hit him up yknow yknow

- “hey bubs i’m back<3 how’s practice going?” you’re literally standing outside the gym but you want to make sure you’re not coming in at a bad time

-after like three minutes he texted u “good:). just got done with a practice set.”

-so now you’re going and you’re excited and you’re Nervous

-you open the door and you’re met with a rly tall guy with a headband on

-“hi, can i help you?”

-“uh, is kageyama here?” and he turns his head, and you follow his eyes, and there he is

-and he’s already staring at you

-a ball is lightly held in his hands

-if anyone who didn’t know him saw him they would genuinely think he’s angry

-but it was kinda the same look he’d give you when you talked about things you cared about on facetime

-so maybe that’s love? 😳😳😳

you give him a little wave

-“sup kags”

-he’s just staring

-blankly staring

-which you should’ve expected

-“sorry, are you mad? i should’ve told you i was coming, that’s my bad i just thought i could surprise you and it would be really nice and then you wouldn’t be stressed out sorry-“

-literally why are you saying all this all of his teammates just like “wtf”

-he shook his head quickly and opened his mouth to say no but just continued to stare

-“i- uh- you want to watch me set?”

-you LAUGH. and i mean LAUGH girly and he just turns all kinds of red and you know his team is gonna be on him for that

-“yea! if that’s like, allowed?” daichi doesn’t care so you are literally balling

-you watch him play and like at first he’s REALLY awful like rly bad but then he kind of tunes everything out (i.e. you) and gets back in his groove

-afterwards he comes over to you and asks you what you think and he’s looking at you like this is normal but you can tell he’s shaking and he kisses your forehead REALLY REALLY FAST and mumbles a quiet “i’m glad you’re here”

-he opens up w affection more along the trip

-he appreciates the banana milk. sm.

-from then on out he constantly brags ab having a gf to the team

oikawa tooru

-he suspects smth is up to be honest

-he’s like “ohhh shawty gon do sum😫”

-(he doesn’t fucking call you shawty)

-but to be fair he figured more like you were gonna send him smth rather than send yourself

-surprise again he’s AT PRACTICE who would’ve guessed

-but this time you come at the end of practice because seijoh has like set schedules and oikawa tells you everything so

-you’re just standing by the door waiting for him to come out, ignoring the literal group of girls forming at the end of the hall knowing dAmn well they are your bf’s fangirls

-oh well

-you hear his voice before you actually see him

-he’s giving someone tips on their serves and you hear someone make a snide remark at him and you only assume its iwa

-he’s in the middle of a sentence and he just stops.

-there’s a good couple of seconds where he completely loses composure

-which is not tooru like

-you took a step closer and smiled

-”is this the oikawa tooru fanclub?”

-”nah it’s actually the oilykawa hate club” it’s the same voice from earlier and it’s definitely iwa

-you laugh a little and keep looking at your boyfriend

-”that’s even better”

-he just walks up to you and gives you a real, genuine smile

-pushes a piece of hair behind your ear

-and KISSES u

-EPIC MOMENT GAMERS

-”what are you doing here, pretty? come to see me play? if so, i hate to break it to you, but you’re late”

-you just roll your eyes and kiss him again

-once you two are alone he literally cries

-LMAO

sugawara koushi

-literally the only one who can keep his cool out of all these mfs (aside from tsukishima)

-however, when you show up to his practice wearing the hoodie he sent you like two months earlier, he lost his shit

-you set it up with daichi and everything beforehand.

-(and daichi literally made sure suga would look like a setting genius the day you showed up)

-he had just made a really good set when you walked in and you clapped

-”nice one, koushi”

-he looks at you like 😦 & is just like “you- what- you’re- how- why?”

-lol and then he goes on “not why like i’m not happy you’re here just how”

-and all the third years think it’s so funny to be honest, because typically suga can keep his cool

-he eventually gains his cool and shines you one his signature amazing smiles (which, is somehow better face to face)

-omg he goes over to you and once he gets there he turns to his teammates and like

-”this is my s/o!!!”

-mf is BEAMING

-he’s so happy

-you find out right after he gives literally the best hugs ever i live by that and i will die by that

-he doesn’t kiss you til you two are alone

-and its so fucking sweet and personal he puts his forehead on yours and tells you you’re the most beautiful person hes ever seen

-he is literally so in love w you

-ew

-i love him.

nishinoya yü

-ok he’s so loud

-literally the second he gets a gf everyone knows

-he shows the team pictures of you literally anytime one of them will look

-he luvs u

-he is your BIGGEST fan no doubt

-you make a nice meal? he wants to post about it

-you have a nice outfit? he will put it on his story

-you breathe? expect an “omg baby im so proud of u”

-so when you show up, he reacts the way you expect him to

-so like obviously this man isnt checking his phone during practice

-but he puts his phone on dnd and has you as his only favorite contact

-so you can text him if its an emergency during practice

-you know that, he knows it, the team knows it

-he gets the little ping!

-and he’s out the game

-no one is recovering the ball #peaceout

-he jogs over to check because you never text his number during practice bc you respect his passion for volleyball

-the text just says “come outside:))”

-he’s like wtf?? but bitch gonna do what u say😐

-he sees you and he just yells “holy shit” so loud dude

-daichi goes to call him on his language but steps outside and sees the short libero hugging the person they’d all seen in the photos, he just goes quiet

-nishinoya will not shut up as he hugs you

-he’s literally just hyping you up and asking you literally every single detail about how you’re there, where you’re staying, when you’re leaving, how your flight was, everything

-you just kiss his forehead :)

-literally only good vibes

-you guys have such a good trip bruh

-after you leave he literally just cries while looking at pics of you two together

-^ he took so many pics and vids of you pls

tsukishima kei

-unlike the others, you wouldn’t meet him at practice

-you don’t really know his team, nor does he tell you about them outside of mostly complaining

-you do know tadashi, but like you’ve only talked to him in a gc all three of you are in and never like alone

-you did not tell him you were coming because you’re 100% convinced he would’ve accidentally told tsuki even though he can keep his own shit secret lol

-you just show up at his door when you know he’s home

-and he’s texting you as you’re there and he had actually had a moderately rough day so you told him you were gonna order him food from his favorite restaurant

-which, technically wasn’t a lie you just had to make an extra stop

-you knock on his door (once you’ve prepared yourself because you honestly have no idea how he’s going to react)

-and he opens it ready to give a half hearted thank you to some delivery guy

-but instead his s/o

-he just stares at you

-he looks like a fish

-after like fifteen seconds you decide to try to break the ice bc you are nervous

-”delivery here for uh one…” you pretend to look at the paper, you’re doin a whole skit here “one dumb bitch. are you dumb bitch?”

-he just rolls his eyes and shoves your head

-he walks back but he leaves the door open

-”take your shoes off”

-he’s not even looking at you smh but you smile so fucking wide bc that’s the kind of reaction you were honestly hoping for

-(what you don’t know is he will literally break his whole hard exterior act if he looks at you right now and he is not ready for that)

-you put the food on the table and move to stand next to him

-and after a bit he finally looks at you

-and you look at him

-and you smile

-and he does too,, kind of

-(which is so fucking cute,)

-and you just keep starin at him and bite your lip to keep from grinning

-and after a couple minutes you clear your throat

-”can i hug you?”

-bro he’s so fucking whipped he doesnt even answer he just wraps his arms around you and puts his head on top of yours

-and he mumbles a thank you and its so fucking SWEET

-he does open up more the longer you’re there and u have a very good trip mwah in luv

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