Tumgik
#anakin keeps trying to convince her to be more ''reasonable'' and then not understanding why she laughs at him
tenderjock · 1 year
Text
au where the empire/jedi disintegration is more ..... amiable. obi-wan gets anakin’s children. vader gets general kenobi’s commander. no one is happy about anything, ever.
68 notes · View notes
silverwings22 · 2 years
Text
Caught in the Crosshairs: Chapter 15 Falling Inside the Black: Skillet
Tumblr media
Series warnings: Smut, mind control, canon typical violence, childhood trauma, language, chronic illness
Chapter warnings: SMUT, crippling self doubt, references to child-stealing, really painful foreshadowing if you've seen the series
Translations: cyare: beloved
Previous chapter:
Next chapter:
"I don't like the sounds of this mission, General.  This isn't our usual style." Hunter and Miria sat on the bridge,  reviewing their latest dossier. 
"I'm not too thrilled with it myself. I've faced Ventress before,  but her master? That's an entirely different matter." Her fingers drummed busily against the armrest of her chair,  the only indication she was anything but serene. "This will require careful planning."
The mission was straightforward.  Get into Dooku's castle on Serenno, hack his private server,  and use the data to flush traitors from the Republic.  Miria was far more preoccupied with something she remembered from Geonosis.  
"What if I told you the Republic was under the power of a dark lord of the Sith?"
She'd assumed then that Dooku was the Sith he'd referred to… Ventress the apprentice that replaced Maul and fulfilled the Law of Two. But something didn't add up to her, and she couldn't explain why.  
"How are we even going to get in? Tech could try that tunneling mechanism he's been working on." He mused.  
"No.  I don't think that will be necessary." She mused.  "A door will do."
"I don't like the look on your face,  General." Hunter frowned.  
Miria smiled sheepishly. "You should be able to just walk in the back door while he's answering the front."
"And why would he do that?"
"Because I'm going to knock."
Hunter blinked. "With all due respect,  General…. Are you insane? He'd kill you on sight."
"No he won't.  You forget,  Dooku was a Jedi once,  too. He may have strayed from the path but his methods are shaped by the Order, as mine are. And he tried to convince Obi-wan to join him on Geonosis.  He's going to want to make me see things his way. " She rested her chin on her steepled fingers.  "Maybe I'll finally understand how one of the most decorated knights fell into darkness…" 
"Crosshair's gonna lose his shit."
"Oh, I'm sure.  But I'm prepared to handle this.  We've been on more missions than I'd care to count by now, what's one more?"
"You've got a hell of a lot more to lose now, you know."
She smiled.  "That's just more reasons to fight as hard as I can.  I need you to trust me,  Hunter. Can you?"
He sighed. "You know I do."
"Then get the guys ready for a brief.  We'll need to land far enough away from the castle to avoid being noticed." 
"You're explaining this." He sighed.  "Meet you in the cockpit."
She nodded quietly. "Of course."
Hunter trundled off and she leaned back in the command chair.  This was exhausting,  the grind of battle clinging to her skin. 
Not much longer.  It's coming together, I'll be able to settle down with Crosshair and be at peace…
She heaved herself upward and went to see about the boy's brief. They weren't going to like this.
She settled into her seat in the cockpit,  looking at four pairs of expectant eyes.  "We're dealing with a Sith,  gentlemen.  This is going to be one of our most difficult missions yet. Fortunately,  this Sith was once a Jedi.  I believe I can keep him distracted long enough for you to get into the system." She lay the specs for the castle down for them to look at.  "There is a rear servant's entrance and he is running with a skeleton crew of four servants at this time.  Just enough to maintain the household.  With Hunter's senses,  it should be no trouble to avoid them."
"And you will be in combat with him the whole time?" Tech frowned.  
"Goodness, I hope not. Dooku was a cut above the other duelists in the order. Even at his age, he defeated Anakin and Obi-wan on Geonosis, and they're better duelists than I." 
"Then there's no way you're going in there alone." Crosshair hissed. 
"Yes, I am.  It will be fine.  I'm going talk to him." She smiled.
"Talk to him?!" He started.  "He's a fucking Si-"
Miria leaned up across her seat and kissed him. "Hush."
He grumbled, but pulled her to him and she finished the brief from his lap. "When the data is secure,  I'll extract myself. In the event of trouble, I'll send a distress signal. And Wrecker?"
"Yes, General?"
"Stealth,  dear."
"Oooh, I hate that word!"
Tumblr media
The castle was big and eerie,  the Force around it both severe and lonely.  Miria wondered if whatever had turned the former Master Dooku from the light had seeped into the stones themselves. She approached the main gate and quietly lifted her hand to knock. 
Force give me strength.  
She slammed down the brass knocker a couple times and stood back to wait. An older human woman with gray hair and a maid's uniform opened up. Miria smiled politely.  "Hello, ma'am.  I'd like to see the Count if he's not too busy."
The woman eyed her.  Miria had left her armor on the ship,  wearing her cream colored dress and brown cloak. "You're a Jedi."
"Yes,  I am.  But I'm not here for a fight."
The woman frowned again.  "... I'll ask him.  Wait here,  Jedi…"
"Halcyon.  Miria Halcyon."
The maid closed the door and Miria waited patiently. Her hands clenched and unclenched in her wide sleeves, nerves settled in.  This was madness and she knew it, going into a Siths home by herself.  
Plo Koon would skin her hide. 
A few minutes later, the door opened and a stern looking old man in a very classy robe and cloak appeared.  "Why is the newest member of the Jedi council on my doorstep?"
"To talk?" She smiled faintly.  "Do you have a few minutes?"
He eyed her for a moment, brown eyes thoughtful and surprisingly… welcoming.  "Come in then,  Master Halcyon.  Do you like tea?"
"Yes sir.  Very much." She said gently, and he nodded.
"Let's go to my study.  I'll have some brought up."
She followed him inside, looking at the grand and stately stone and columns of the front hall.  "This is a lovely place…"
"It is my inheritance that I collected when I left the Order." He said quietly.  "My homecoming wasn't quite what I'd hoped for." 
They went up a set of marble stairs and into a large dark wood paneled study,  laden heavily with leather bound books.  Real books,  which delighted Miria.  He sat her down in a wingback chair and settled next to her in another.  "So what brings you,  a Master, to me?"
It was a half truth,  but he'd sense a lie in an instant and she knew it. "I need to understand." She murmured softly.  "You were an esteemed Master of the Order, the Grandmasters padawan, and I was only a youngling but I remember no great fight when you left.  I can't understand why… but the key to ending this war is here.  I know you spoke to Obi-wan Kenobi on Geonosis, you were willing to talk then. Can't you talk to me now?  Can't we end this?"
He chuckled quietly as another maid brought in a silver tea service and set it on the low table between them.  "So hopeful,  aren't you?  But that's not the only reason you've come.  You question the Order,  don't you?"
Miria looked askance at how quickly he read her.  "I don't deny I have many questions… I thought I'd understand better when I joined the Council,  but…"
"But you see that they don't listen. I remember that moment." He murmured,  bringing his teacup to her lips.  "And the Republic is even worse."
"What do you mean?" She frowned.  
"I once petitioned the council for a restructuring of the Order.  To push the Senate to form its own defensive guard,  so that the Jedi could serve their actual purpose and aid those in need." He said delicately.  "I was denied. Repeatedly."
She frowned,  thinking of her own petition to help slaves in the Outer Rim.  "We serve the Senate…."
"Politicians who serve their own self interest.  They line their pockets while others suffer. And as long as the Jedi are their lapdogs, nothing changes. The trouble starts with Yoda."
"Master Yoda is-" she rushed to defend the grandmaster, but his raised hand cut her off.  
"He is complacent,  dear girl.  He no longer notices the little evils the Republic fosters.  He's been around it too long. He is perfectly pleasant and even kind when he directly involves himself,  but he doesn't stand up to the wickedness in the Republic and it thrives under his lack of action." He leaned forward. "I see kindness in your eyes.  Tell me,  what in your opinion is the worst state of the galaxy? What would you address,  given the chance?"
"Slavery." She answered automatically,  mind on Chisee and Anakin's mother on Tattooine. And the clones, trapped in the war they had no choice but to participate in. 
"And the Jedi know of it and do nothing,  because it lines the pockets of the rich and powerful.  They can't help the slaves.  But they can help the slave masters."
Mirias eyes fell to her lap.  "Is that why you left?"
"Among other reasons. Family being one of them." He mused.  "Do you remember your family?"
"No… I was born on Naboo, but I was too young to remember…"
"Do you ever wonder about them? Who they were?  Why they let you go?  Who you might have been if they'd raised you?"
Her heart ached with sudden longing.  A childhood free of illness,  wrapped safely in a mother's arms,  free of the shadow of death breathing down her neck.  A full life before her,  she might have still met Crosshair and… "Once or twice…"
"Every Jedi is a family who decided they could live without them." He murmured.  "The Order convinces them they must give their children away,  and then they send them to die on fools errands for a Republic who doesn't even permit them voting rights. Does that seem fair to you? I remember you,  Miria Halcyon.  I know what happened to you on Illum. What would your mother think if she'd known the Jedi would send her daughter to an early grave?"
Miria clasped her hands tightly,  knuckles going white.  "It was my fault,  on Illum. I was careless…"
"You were a child. And you've been so blinded by your belief in the Order that you've let them convince you that the fault lies in a little girl looking for a kyber crystal,  not the adults meant to be watching over her."
She closed her eyes. How did his words feel so true?  She was Jedi,  she'd resisted the dark side as a child,  so why did she feel so… wavering?  "But the Jedi serve the light…."
"They're meant to.  Perhaps some do. But the Order itself is lost.  This war will teach that,  regrettable as it is.  But you…." She startled when he took her wrists.  "You are strong in the Force. A worthy apprentice.  Join me,  dear girl. Your life can have meaning,  short as it may be. You want to help others,  let this be the way."
Mirias eyes shot wide as she tugged back,  shaking her head.  "N-no! I'm not a Sith!"
"You hardly need to be." He didn't let go,  and she shoved down the rising panic building in her chest.  
There was a click in her earpiece.  "Data acquired, General. Proceed to the rendezvous point." Tech murmured.   Her team,  her boys were out.  She let that small comfort ground her in the moment. 
"Please let me go.  I came to talk,  not to join you.  Please."
The count chuckled quietly and released her wrists.  "Remember the offer, Master Halcyon.  It will still stand when you leave the Jedi." He turned away.  "I trust you can see your own way out."
She looked at his back a long moment.  "Thank you for speaking with me…" she murmured before hurrying out the way she'd come.
Miria left the castle,  and as soon as the door closed she was running,  sprinting like she could outrun the words the Sith had muttered. If she could escape the seed of doubt before it took root,  she could still be herself. She could still be a Jedi,  she could still serve the light,  she could still have faith…
Strong arms wrapped around her waist,  pulling her off her feet and into an armored chest.  She got only a brief glimpse of a gray helmet with a sniper's crosshair over the right eye before she was burying her face into his neck and sobbing. 
Crosshair stiffened as she wrapped her arms around his neck. "Miria, what's wrong?" He murmured,  pulling his helmet off and dropping it on the ground carelessly.  "Did he hurt you?  We'll go back and-"
"No!" She wailed helplessly.  "He didn't hurt me,  I'm o-okay, just don't go back." Her arms turned to durasteel around him.  "Stay. Just st-stay."
He was throughly confused, but swept her legs from under her. "Okay.  Okay, I'm here. Let's get you back to the ship." His voice was soft,  what she needed,  and she snuggled in tightly as her sobbing quieted to whimpers.  Tech shrugged and picked up his helmet for him.  
They trekked back to where they'd hidden the Marauder, eerily quiet as they all shot worried glances at their inconsolable General.  This wasn't like her. 
Tumblr media
Everyone stayed in the cockpit as Tech got them off Serenno, leaving Crosshair to take care of Miria.  He carried her to their bunk and set her down gently,  carefully as he knew how.  "Hey.  Hey,  baby girl." He murmured,  thumbing the tears off her cheeks.  "Look at me.  You're okay,  right?  You're not hurt?"
She shook her head.  "He didn't hurt me…."
"Then what's the matter? You're shaking." He frowned sharply.  "What did that bastard do?"
"It's not what he did." She shuddered.  "It's what he said."
That gave Crosshair pause. He'd watched her laugh at the cruelest digs, ones that played on her every insecurity,  without flinching.  But this…  he'd never seen her cry like this.  "What did he say?"
"That the Order is wrong. That we're the problem,  we're the reason for the war.  That we allow corruption and we steal children and we-"
"He hates the Jedi.  Of course he did."
"But he's right,  Cross." She whispered.  
He pulled her to him,  shaking his head.  "They can't be like that.  You're not like that." He murmured.  
"Aren't I? How many younglings that I taught had parents who loved them?  Parents who only gave them up because a Jedi like me told them it was for the best?" She snuggled to his chest.  "And the slaves in the Outer Rim,  like that little girl on Tattooine. If it hadn't been related to the war no one would have helped.  They didn't help Anakin's mother. They didn't let me help when I became a knight.  They just let it happen. They let all this happen…"
Crosshair was not good at this. Comforting someone was Wrecker's thing.  But she needed him,  and he was going to have to be enough.  "They can't be all bad, cyare." He murmured.  "They raised you,  and you're good.  So whatever they've done or not done,  they… have merit.  And you're a Master,  right?  You can make things better before you leave. I know you can. You're… Miria,  you're fucking amazing."
She looked up at him tearfully, scrubbing her eyes on the backs of her hands. "I certainly don't feel amazing,  Cross. I… he asked me to be his apprentice."
Crosshair made a face.  "Like you'd ever join that asshole."
"I thought about it, Cross.  I kept thinking about Anakin's mother,  and how I got sick… he asked me what my own mother would think if she knew.  And… Force,  I considered it." She laughed hollowly. "The Council would put me through a bloody tribunal if they knew I ever doubted…"
"You have to choose." Crosshair ran his gloved fingers through her hair. "What kind of person you want to be.  Not what kind of Jedi. You don't have to agree with everything they do, and you don't have to join the Sith. But when we were cadets… 99 used to tell us we’d have to decide who we were going to be, with every action. So…who do you want to be?"
She frowned quietly. "I… I don't want to fall to darkness." She whispered.  "It's a lonely place.  I've been there, on Illum. I want to follow the light.  I want to have friends and find joy and… I want you. My guiding star."
He smiled. "Then I'll always be right here, watching your six."
She smiled back, shaky, cradling his face in her hands. "I love you."
Crosshair smiled back,  a real one.  "C'mere, cyare. Lemme hold you."
She nodded eagerly,  desperate for comfort after such a jarring day.  He slipped his armor quickly and laid down with her,  warm hands running gently over her hip.  Smoothing away the ragged places in her bruised and broken spirit. It was almost enough to make her cry again.  
She cuddled a little closer,  pressing her lips to his neck in search of a particular spot that always made his arms tighten around her. He chuckled.  "That what you want, cyare?"
She nodded.  "I feel filthy." She whispered quietly. "Like his words cling. I always feel right with you…"
Crosshair propped himself up on one elbow, a slow smirk spreading across his angular features. "Then lemme make you feel better." 
His lips pressed to hers,  warm and welcome as she let him into her mouth.  He kissed her slow, firmly shifting to pin her under his chest while one hand twined into her hair.  Miria whimpered softly when the other one pulled her belt open and started tugging her dress apart. It was one of those simple wrap styles,  parting under his fingers until they pressed comfortingly against the soft skin of her belly.  "So pretty." He murmured. "My girl,  so pretty just for me. Gonna give you the galaxy one of these days, you know that?" His mouth moved to her shoulder,  sucking marks into the white skin there. "Make you my pretty little wife."
Miria closed her eyes,  focusing on the sweet ache. "Your wife…" His.  Not the Jedis, with their endless conflicting teachings she found herself more and more lost in.  Not the Siths, with the darkness threatening to swallow her alive.  Crosshairs. 
"Mmhmm. Build you a house somewhere.  Have a couple kids,  with those eyes of yours." He chuckled when she let out a contented sigh,  tugging her breast band down below the inviting swell of her chest.  His tongue drew one nipple into his mouth, free hand palming the other side.  Finally he pressed a kiss against her tattoo. "Love this.  Having my symbol tattooed right over your heart. " He lightly nipped her hipbone on his way down.  "Can't wait to see you every morning,  first thing.  And every night,  just like this."
She cooed when he lifted her hips to tug her underwear out of the way.  "Cross…"
He just chuckled and hooked her knees over his shoulders, pressing his mouth between her legs.  Her first little moan was sweeter than music.  "That's it, cyare. Just let me take care of you. Always be there to take care of my girl."
She sighed and gasped as his skillful tongue went to work,  drawing her to the brink of shattering.  It was good,  mind numbing in the surety of his words.  He'd always be there to pick her up if she fell.  She didn't need to fear mistakes with Crosshair,  because he didn't expect perfection. He didn't want it. He wanted her,  with all her flaws and broken places.  He could push the veneer of a perfect Jedi away and still think the women below it was beautiful.  
She stifled a moan in her hands when his fingers breached her core, searching out the right spot to drag her to her release with snipers accuracy.  His other hand pulled hers from her face.  "Don't hide from me,  ner cyare."
"Y-your brothers…"
"Let 'em hear.  Who gives a shit if they know I'm making love to the girl of my dreams? If it's a problem,  they can die mad about it." He chuckled, hand never stopping it's work.  "They know I'm gonna marry you anyway."
She couldn't argue with that and her next soft moan echoed through the recycled ship's air. "Oh, Crosshair…"
"There you go.  Come on, gimme a good one and I'll fuck you through this mattress." He purred softly against her thigh before sucking a mark there too. 
Miria complied with a high pitched whine, tensing up as everything went blinding and debilitating white in her vision.  She was dimly aware of Crosshair murmuring praise and kissing her hip as she came down, processing the words slowly through the din of her panting.  
"There you go.  That's my girl…"
She curled her hands in his silver hair,  tugging him up her trembling body until she could kiss him again.  She tasted herself on his tongue. 
Crosshair kept his word and wasted no time sliding into her silken heat,  shivering when her legs crossed behind his back and locked him into place.  He settled his weight on his forearms,  kissing her slow and deep with the pace of his hips to match. "I'm right here,  cyare. Right where you need me." He mumbled,  turning his head to mouth along her bared throat.  "Right where I belong.  Next to you."
Force,  he turned her inside out when he got honest.  She held tight to him, where she belonged,  as he took his time rearranging her the way he wanted.  His hips snapped into hers,  the only sounds the strike of skin and their pants mingling together.  "How's this,  baby girl?" He crooned. "Feel better?"
"Yes." Miria half whimpered.  
"Good. Can't- fuck,  can't stand to see you cry…" He groaned faintly in her ear.  "Can't fucking stand it… your pretty face…" 
She shuddered again, looking up with all the effort she could muster to keep her eyes on his.  They were warm and bright right now,  molten honey and everything she needed in the galaxy to keep it together.  "Darling…"
"Keep looking at me.  Just like that… wanna see your pretty eyes when you- fuck,  when you come for me." He mumbled.  "The shit I'd do for you… Maker,  I'd do anything for you..."
That did it. The confession,  the unabashed love in those amber eyes,  the way he hit every place inside her so perfectly all coalesced into an all- consuming wave that swept her off her feet and sent her tumbling,  her locked legs driving him impossibly deeper into her when she fell apart and dragged him with her. He painted her insides hot and dropped onto his elbows, shuddering.  Her muscles slowly unclenched and she traced nonsense over his back with her nails, holding him to her.  
"I love you…" she whispered.  "I don't know what I'm doing anymore.  But I know I love you so much…"
Crosshair chuckled weakly.  "Right now,  you're finishing getting railed."
"You know what I mean, Cross."
"Yeah,  I know. I love you too." He kissed her forehead, shifting so he could lay beside her and pull the blanket over them. "Go to sleep. We'll sort everything out later.  Right now,  I've got you."
Miria snuggled into his narrow chest.  "And you'll always have me?"
"If I ever say no to that,  I've lost my fucking mind." He smiled.  
6 notes · View notes
phoenixyfriend · 3 years
Text
Time-Traveled Clones Give Anakin a Mental Breakdown
So @purronronner​ suggested the below on discord:
mental time travel au but it’s only clones (definitely Cody and/or Rex, possibly others)
Which we obviously all took and just... ran with. Contributors include Purrs, @the-lunar-system, and @atagotiak.
Initial brainstorming was just us trying to figure out how many clones did the mental travel, from when, etc. - Ended up deciding on 'significantly post-O66' and 'some but not all' - Mostly it's the angle that the only people who have an idea of what’s coming are the ones who aren’t even seen as people by most. THey have very little leverage to work with but they’ve gotta do something.
(I personally like the idea that Boba travels because Jango has to deal with the fact that His Baby Boy is suddenly much more adult and serious and also telling him that the whole Kamino thing is going to Destroy Everything Including Mandalore, And Revenge Against The Jedi Won't Be Worth It, but that idea got scrapped because he's got too much influence via dad.)
Rex and the clones that died when Rex & Ahsoka were escaping 66. Because Rex would probably be very regretful he couldn’t save them. The others would probably be understanding of the situation and even worse some of them would be thankful that he stopped them. - Strategic mass desertion via faked KIA reports as medics smuggle people out to investigate what's trying to kill the Jedi through the clones - Also they can manage a lot by doing surgeries and reprogramming Med droids and stuff. At the very least Palpatine can’t manage such a sudden and decisive victory without subverting the clones. The political angle is probably still a complicated mess but he can’t just snap his fingers and do a genocide, y’know? - IMO at least Fives is definitely on the list of time-travelers.
The Krell Situation is, uh... handled. Quickly. - Sometimes friendly fire just happens, you know? Accidents.
Mass Distrust of Anakin Skywalker - He knows they don't like him but has no idea why. - On the one hand, they loved them some TCW Anakin. On the other hand, look where that takes him...
Anakin keeps feeling like the clones are mourning him while he's standing right there. More than the other Jedi, even! All the Jedi feel vague grief from some of the clones, usually in a way that makes no sense, but the vibe they have around Anakin is a mindfuck. - Some of them want to get away and fast, some of them want to figure out how to fix him, none of them are at all happy with this.
He does one of those somewhat concerning TCW things where Imperial March plays faintly in the background, and while in the first timeline the clones would write it off as him being a little bit angrier than most Jedi (and he never takes it out on them, y’know?), this time they’re reacting… poorly. - They're scared of him this time. - And lbr the clones... while they’re largely good, moral people, have less rigid ethical rules than the Jedi and are more used to thinking of things in terms of us-vs-them as well as the Jedi-know-best conditioning, so they probably wrote off a lot the first time around (and now blame themselves, just a little, for Vader).
They, uh, they maybe get a bit twitchy... and the specific fear a few of "Vader's Fist" feel is so similar to the fear Anakin sensed around slaves in Gardulla's that he starts having flashbacks. - Anakin at one point spirals so deep into a flashback that he mutters something about how "she" is going to eat him and nobody can figure out who the fuck he's talking about, because nobody knows about Gardulla, possibly not even Obi-Wan, since that was TODDLER Anakin and while Watto may have come up, Obi-Wan probably didn't even think Anakin would have remembered toddler-age stuff, so Gardulla was never really discussed. - All anyone knows is that Anakin is fine with Ahsoka, so it's not her, but she's the only person on board using she/her pronouns so far since none of the clones are socially transitioning yet. - (Apparently Gardulla just ate her slaves sometimes? And Anakin had to live with the knowledge that that was a possibility for him? Until he was three? Fucked up, bro.) - (I'm just really invested in AUs where Anakin's 'not going evil' path kicks off in part with a breakdown where he can't keep himself in denial about the slavery element of the clones anymore.)
"They're scared of me." "Sir--" "They're scared the way we all were at Gardulla's what did I do?"
This would be pretty soon after Return to Tatooine, and Tatooine Three: Electric Boogaloo so Anakin is like... peak slave trauma rn anyway.
Anakin has a breakdown much earlier than in canon, and in precisely the opposite direction, loudly and blatantly enough that the Temple has to ground him for a bit, and even Palpatine can't get that overturned until the medics say so. - Also one of the key points: Anakin doesn’t resent it in the same way. - It’s uh. Less. The “The Jedi are afraid of my power (and Palpatine says that’s why I can’t just do what I want)” and more “the clones are afraid of my power (arguably with good reason)”
people above you fearing (+ limiting) you: hits right in the slave trauma people under you fearing you: still slave trauma but flipped all the way around
This is just back to back: - Mom died because you couldn't save her, on Slave Planet - You slaughtered an entire tribe of Tuskens, including the children, and have been putting a lot of effort into convincing yourself you're not a monster - You got chained up and threatened with public execution via Consumed by Big Thing (and are abruptly reminded of toddlerhood, where you were at risk of being Consumed by Gardulla, a Big Thing) - Clone army, basically slaves, can't think about that too hard or you'll freak out - (Secret marriage, which is stressful but not hitting the slave trauma button.) - You had to save a baby Hutt -- You had to help a slaver Hutt -- ON SLAVE PLANET AGAIN -- WHILE THE HUTT IS THREATENING TO KILL YOU - (Someone just GAVE YOU A CHILD, which is stressful but not hitting the slave trauma button.) - Half the clones treat you like a more impuslive Obi-Wan, and half of them are... scared and wary and you don't know what to do about that - You did something kinda fucked up and now half the slaves clones are fine and the other half feel like they're waiting for you to kill them in your anger - Fuck - Fuck
744 notes · View notes
Text
Cuddles
Rex x Fem!Jedi!Reader
Summary: You are extremely affectionate with everyone but Rex and even though the Captain knows why it bothers him, he refuses to acknowledge his feelings 
Warnings: Mentions of injuries, mentions of sex
-------
It wasn’t unusual for the Jedi to send additional healers on dangerous or very long missions. Nor was it unusual for said healers to be Jedi, not only could their force sensitivity help them locate, and to a certain degree heal, even the toughest injuries, they could also help out in battle when needed. And so no one was surprised when you were send along with the 501st on a mission to the outer rim. 
-------
“Have you seen General Skywalker? I have a few questions regarding his plans for tomorrow”, Rex asked Ahsoka. 
The Padawan looked up from her datapad to point down the corridor. 
“I think he wanted a quiet place to work.” 
The way Ahsoka said the word made Rex second guess whether the General was actually working or talking to his not-so-secret wife. And even though he didn’t want to interrupt him, he knew how important time with loved ones was the night before a big battle, he really needed his questions answered. 
“Thanks.” 
Ahsoka smiled at him before turning back to her datapad. 
-------
Rex opened and closed a few doors in vain. 
Finally he opened the last door of the long corridor and found the General sitting on a blanket he had laid on the floor. But he was not alone. 
Rex was surprised that Anakin actually seemed to be working, he had a datapad in his hand and another laying next to him, but that wasn’t what caught the Captain's attention. 
You were with the General. Your head was in Anakin’s lap and one of his hands was stroking your hair, which had gotten loose from your bun and was now covering part of your face. Your closed eyes and deep breaths told Rex that you were fast asleep. But instead of thinking how relaxed you looked when sleeping, when for once you didn’t have the weight of protecting the galaxy on your shoulders, he felt as if someone had just shot him right in the chest. 
“Rex, is something the matter?” 
The Captain tore his eyes away from you to look at Anakin. He tried his best to be professional, not to let a blush rise to his cheeks or his feelings show. 
“I have a few questions about tomorrow.” 
Anakin nodded. Although both men spoke in quiet voices and the General moved only slightly you began to stir and opened your eyes a moment later. 
Being a trained Jedi it took you less than a second to remember where you were and who you were with. Slowly you sat up and looked from Rex to Anakin and back again. 
“Hello, Captain”, you said with a soft smile. 
And no matter how hard he tried, heat now crept up to his cheeks. 
“I am sorry for waking you.” 
You shook your head, still smiling. 
“Nonsense, I shouldn’t have fallen asleep anyway.” 
You looked at Anakin again, who had been watching your interaction with great interest. 
“I’ll leave you two alone and get back to work then.” 
The Jedi nodded, a smile now gracing his lips as well. 
Never in his life had Rex felt as out of place as he did in that very moment. This was a private interaction and he had no business witnessing the smiles the two of you gave each other, nor the loving expression in your eyes. But he couldn’t tear his eyes away, not even when you pressed a gentle kiss to Anakin’s cheek before grabbing the second datapad from the floor. 
Rex stepped out of the door to let you pass, careful to put a bit of space between your bodies. But even the few feet between you didn’t stop him from smelling your sweet perfume. Where Jedi could get perfume in the middle of a war was beyond him, but he had come to love every whiff of the scent he got. Though now, more than ever, he knew he shouldn’t. He knew you weren’t his and would never be. 
“I’ll see you around, Rex”, you said. And for a moment, just for a short moment, Rex thought you might reach out to him. He braced himself for the touch, but it never came. Instead you smiled before closing the door behind you. 
Usually he tried his best to be respectful to General Skywalker and any other Jedi, but he couldn’t help himself. 
“Does she know about Senator Amidala?” 
Anakin got up from his spot on the floor and looked at Rex with raised eyebrows. 
“I’m not sure what you’re referring to.” 
Try as he might, Rex couldn’t keep the anger out of his tone. 
“Does (Y/N) - I mean General (Y/L/N), of course - does she know you are married to Senator Amidala?” 
Anakin stepped closer to Rex. The Captain couldn’t quite read his expression. 
“(Y/N)”, he said your name in a way that made it very clear he had noticed Rex’s slip earlier. “Does not know about Padmé.” 
“Do you think it’s fair then, to lead her on like this?” 
The Jedi looked at Rex for a moment before answering. 
“I am not leading her on, I wouldn’t do that. (Y/N) is a friend, she knows it as well as I do.” 
Relief flooded over Rex. He had to admit, it wasn’t like General Skywalker to lead someone on, and much less like him to cheat on his wife, but to see the two of you so close made him question everything he though he knew about your relationship. 
“Rex, I hope you know that you can be honest with me about... well, you and (Y/N).” 
The blond took a step back, then another, until his back hit the wall behind him. 
“I don’t know what you’re implying. There is no me and (Y/N) - General (Y/L/N), I mean.” 
Even though Rex tried to sound convincing a smirk played on Anakin’s lips. 
“Of course, Captain. Of course.” 
The next couple of days his conversation with Anakin kept replaying in Rex’s head. It kept him from sleeping, haunted his dreams and even distracted him on the battlefield. So much so that it he let a blaster strike his shoulder and was send to the med bay, where he ran right into you. 
“Captain, I heard what happened”, you greeted him. “Let me have a look at that shoulder and we’ll get it as good as new again.” 
You reached out a hand to his injured shoulder, but without thinking Rex stepped out of the way. 
“I’m fine. There are others who need your help more than I do.” 
You let your hand fall as your eyebrows knitted together in worry. 
“You are my last patient for today, everyone else is already taken care of. Now let me help you, I can see you’re in pain.” 
And no matter how much his head protested, his heart made him nod in agreement. 
He followed you to one of the few beds that were not occupied and sat down as you gathered any supplies you might need. 
“I must admit, it is not like you to get hit”, you said while you opened and closed drawers. 
Rex just shrugged. It wasn’t as if he could tell you that he had been distracted because he was jealous of your relationship with Anakin or, worse, that he suspected the General knew about his feelings for you. 
You finally finished and turned to Rex. 
“You’ll need to take your armor off. And your shirt as well. Even I can’t heal you without actually seeing the wound.” 
Once again Rex found himself trying not to blush. He hurried to do as you told him and just a few seconds later he was shirtless. 
You moved closer, so close, that he could feel your body heat, even through your robes, and smell your perfume, though now there was also a hint of sweat beneath the sweet scent. 
You laid a soft hand on his shoulder, careful not to touch the wound but Rex tensed nonetheless. 
“Does it hurt?”, you asked softly. 
He shook his head. It didn’t hurt, at least not on his shoulder. But he felt as if his heart was being ripped apart by being so close to you, but not close enough, never close enough. 
“It looks worse than it is”, you mumbled more to yourself than Rex. He felt something cold, probably a bit of bacta spray, hitting the wound and a warm, tingly feeling a moment later. Your soft fingers danced over the now closed wound as you applied a bit of salve before placing a plaster on top. 
“That should do the trick.” 
You stepped back and for a moment Rex could have sworn you were looking up and down his unclad upper half, with a look in your eyes that didn’t speak of medical professionalism. But surely he had to be imagining that, you had spend most of the day patching up his brothers, clones that looked just like him, you had no reason to be checking him out. 
“How are you, Rex?” 
For the first time in what felt like an eternity he met your eyes. A look of concern was in them, along with a softness he didn’t even know he needed after the rough day he’d had. 
“I’m fine.” 
With a sigh you sat down next to him just as Rex put his shirt back on. You were careful to keep space between you, but once again Rex could swear he felt heat radiating off of you. 
“We both know you’re lying.” 
That, right there, was one of the things Rex loved most about you. Others pretended to care or said nice words solely to motivate him in his fight for the republic, but you cared. You seemed to love the 501st like family, more than a Jedi was probably supposed to. And not just Ahsoka and Anakin, the clones as well. You never made any of them feel like they were worth less, you made them feel loved and like they belonged. 
“Can you tell because of the force?”, he tried to joke. You, however, remained serious. 
“I can tell because I know you. And I know you’ve not been yourself lately. What’s going on?” 
He looked down at your hand that has found its way to his thigh. The second his eyes landed on it you removed it and even though he knew it wasn’t possible, Rex thought he could see your cheeks darkening a bit. 
“I’ve just been thinking about something General Skywalker recently said. About... me and a girl, a woman. He thinks there’s something going on between us, but that’s rubbish.” 
Your eyes glazed over with something that almost looked like sadness, but it might as well have been confusion or just understanding. No matter what you were feeling, you gave Rex a small smile. 
“Why would you say that?” 
He thought about how he should answer your question honestly without giving away that he was talking about you. 
“She’s not really supposed to be in a relationship, due to her... religion. And besides, she’s way too good for me. She’s kind and funny and caring and the most beautiful girl I’ve ever laid my eyes upon. And I’m just... well, I mean, why should she choose me even if she could?” 
Rex tried his best to avoid your eyes and instead opted for looking at the floor. He knew that you would figure out who he was talking about the moment he looked at you. 
You didn’t say anything for a while and Rex almost worried he had scared you away. Perhaps you did know he was talking about you, perhaps you were disappointed or mad or even disgusted. 
“Oh Rex”, you finally said. He felt your light touch on the small of his back before your fingers disappeared again, leaving behind a cold that was not there before. 
“Anyone would be lucky to have you, and I do mean anyone. You’re all those things you said she is. You’re one of the kindest men I know, you’re funny in your own way, you care so much about your brother, about Anakin and Ahsoka and about me, I hope.” 
You stopped for a moment. 
“And you’re beautiful as well. Sure, you may look like your brothers, but there is an inner beauty in you as well. You’re one of a kind and anyone who can’t see that doesn’t deserve you anyway.” 
Rex couldn’t help himself, after your kind words he just had to look at you. Tears were shining in your eyes and a smile was on your lips. 
It took Rex all the courage he had to lay his hand on top of yours, but the way you gripped it tight and stroked it with your thumb made up for the nerves. 
“Thank you, (Y/N). That means a lot to me.” 
The interaction in the med bay stayed with Rex for weeks on end. He though of it when he needed something to distract him from all the horrors he saw on a daily basis or when he needed to escape from his brothers or General Skywalker for a while. But mostly when he needed to remind himself why he was fighting this war, who he was trying to protect. 
“Rex, are you with us?”, General Skywalker asked, pulling him out of his thoughts. 
“Yes, Sir.” 
Rex could hear Fives snickering behind him, but he could easily ignore it. Especially when you were standing just a few meters away in between Anakin and Ahsoka. 
It was late and General Skywalker was just recapping the latest mission to General Kenobi over the holo. And while Rex did listen with one ear, most of his attention of on you. 
Everyone was tired, but you seemed especially so, maybe because using the force to heal the clones, and Anakin as well because he couldn’t go a single battle without an unnecessary injury, took its toll on you. You had one arm around Ahsoka and your head rested on her shoulder as you nodded along with Anakin’s report. It seemed as if you were half asleep in your friend’s embrace, which reminded Rex of the time he had found you sleeping in the General’s lap. Your exhaustion was obvious and all Rex wanted to do that very moment was to wrap you up in a blanket and have you fall asleep in his arms, to make sure no harm could come to you in your most defenseless state. 
“Thank you, Anakin. Now everyone get some sleep, especially you, (Y/N)”, Obi-Wan finally said before ending the holo. 
Anakin repeated the words to the clones and added that they would have a rare day off tomorrow. He then turned towards the other two Jedi and said something to them in a low voice. You just nodded along, though Rex was sure you were too sleepy to really understand what the General was saying. 
“Rex”, Echo said, clapping a hand on his shoulder. “Are you coming or are you gonna keep staring at General (Y/L/N)?” 
The Captain turned to his brother, making sure no one had overheard what he’d just said. 
“I am not staring. I’m just concerned, she should get some sleep.” 
“And you wanna take her to bed?”, Fives chimed in, wiggling his eyebrows.
“Shut up”, Echo said before Rex could. 
He couldn’t deny Fives’ words, but right now all he wanted was for you to get a good night’s sleep. 
Rex moved his brothers along towards their quarters. But he couldn��t resist to look at you one last time before the door closed behind him. 
You and Ahsoka were now in a full embrace and he saw her gently kissing the top of your head. Once again he felt the pang of jealousy at how close you were to anyone but him, how everyone else constantly seemed to be touching or hugging or kissing you and he was too nervous to make any kind of skin to skin contact last longer than half a second. 
Anakin stayed true to his word, so the next day the 501st found themselves on some small tropical planet with lush forests, golden sand and a clear blue sea. Everyone was in a good mood, swimming in the cool water, laying in the sun or getting caught up in some shenanigans Rex didn’t bother investigating. Almost everyone that was, General Skywalker seemed miserable. He was sitting under a tall tree on the edge of the beach, careful to stay on the grass and not to touch the sand. Rex had heard rumors that Anakin hated sand more than any separatist, but part of him though that he was just sad there wasn’t enough time off to visit his wife. 
“C’mon, Skyguy, you’re missing out on all the fun”, Ahsoka shouted at her master from the edge of the water. A smile made its way to Rex’s lips at how hard she was trying to get everyone to enjoy the day. The smile only grew when his eyes landed on you. You were right next to the Padawan in as little clothing as Rex had ever seen you in. Compared to what many other women wore to the beach it was still incredibly modest, though he supposed Jedi didn’t really own bikinis. Instead you wore a pair of shorts that cut up in the middle of your thigh and a top that showed just a little bit of your stomach and more of your cleavage than he had ever seen. Rex tried his hardest not to stare, he really did, but his eyes were just drawn to your figure. 
“I don’t think there’s anything in the Jedi code that forbids sex, just relationships”, Fives said. 
Rex hadn’t even noticed his brother sitting down next to him. But he did make an active choice not to reply. 
“I think she’d say yes if you asked. Of course you’d have to get over your nerves first”, Fives continued. 
This time Rex was about to answer when the sound of your laughter interrupted him. You were surrounded by four of his brothers, all of them stripped down to the trousers of their blacks, who were splashing you with water and tickling you. Another couple troopers were chasing after Ahsoka, probably trying to give her the same treatment, but Rex only had eyes for you. 
He knew both Anakin and Ahsoka saw you as a friend, nothing more than a close friend, but he hated that he couldn’t say the same for his brothers. Of course he knew they weren’t trying to anger him, most of them had hopefully not even noticed his attachment to you, but he couldn’t help jealousy rising up in him. 
He finally turned back to Fives. 
“Did you give them the same speech?” 
By now you were no longer playfighting with the clones, instead you had your arms around two of them and watched the others chasing Ahsoka. 
“It’s not my fault you get jealous so easily. All I’m saying is that you should talk to her. The worst that could happen is that things stay the same, but maybe if you got laid you’d loosen up every once in a while. And I’m sure she’d be great. Don’t they say the once who seem innocent are the best in bed?”
Sometimes Rex didn’t need words, sometimes a single glare could make even Fives shut his mouth. 
For the rest of the day Rex tried to keep his distance from you. With the sun shining in your eyes, a relaxed smile on your lips and more skin than usually showing he didn’t trust himself not to say something he might regret. 
It wasn’t until the evening that he saw you again. 
Rex walked into the sleeping quarters he shared with his brother, he wanted to get a fresh set of blacks to change into after his shower, but once again he opened a door only to find you curled up next to someone. This time it was Echo and Fives. Each of you was holding a datapad, you and Echo seemed to be reading while Fives was apparently watching some holovideo. You sat in between Echo’s legs, leaning against him with your back pressed to his chest and Fives head was laying in your lap. 
After staring at you for a moment Rex decided to make his presence known. 
“I hope I’m not interrupting”, he said and could have slapped himself a moment later. Of all the things he could have said, that’s what he had to settle on. 
All of you looked up from your respective holopads and Fives even sat up from his place on your lap. 
“Rex, I mean Captain, I mean Captain Rex”, you stuttered and this time not even Rex could deny that you were blushing. “You’re not interrupting, at all. In fact, you can join us if you’d like.” 
If it weren’t for his brothers Rex would have agreed. He would have ignored how nervous your mere presence made him and how much he shouldn’t want to be near you, but instead he turned around and walked right of the door. 
It wasn’t until he was halfway across the ship that he realized that he hadn’t even given you an answer. 
Rex hated to admit it, but he missed you terribly. Ever since that day off he barely saw you and when he did you wouldn’t meet his eyes. Even that one time he was send to the med bay you didn’t go near him and Kix took care of his injuries instead. The worst part was that Rex knew it was his fault. No matter how often he told himself that it was for the better, that the two of you would never have worked out, he couldn’t stop the guilt. If he had just acted normal, not so cold, around you you might at least be friends. 
It was especially bad when he walked into the med bay after another battle, expecting to at least see you from a distance. Instead he was met with Kix mumbling under his breath and med droids going about their business. 
Most of the beds were empty but Rex stepped closer to the ones that were occupied to see which of his brothers were injured and how they were feeling. Just as he made his way to the last bed Kix stepped in front of him. 
“Can you take care of her for a moment? General Skywalker is waiting for me to report on the injured and the droids should clean up while I’m gone.” 
Rex tried to sneak a peek over his brothers shoulder. 
“Is Ahsoka injured? What happened?” 
Kix’s face softened as he put a gentle hand on Rex’s shoulder. 
“It’s (Y/N)”, he told him.
Within a second Rex was at your bed. You were paler than he’d like, eyes closed in a fitful sleep, hair a mess on the pillow. 
“What happened?” 
Rex hated how broken his voice sounded, but he hated it even more that he hadn’t even known you were injured, let alone unconscious. How could he not have known? Had he been so focused on keeping his distance or was it because you were avoiding him? 
“The General put her in battle last minute, to watch our backs. But no one was watching her’s, she got shot right in the stomach and barely pulled through.” 
For a short moment Rex allowed himself to touch your shoulder. You were colder than usual, colder than you were supposed to be. 
“I’ll be back soon, all you need to do is stay close in case she wakes up. I simply don’t want her to wake up alone.” 
When Kix kissed your forehead none of Rex’s usual jealousy appeared. Maybe it was because Kix, who you spend most of your days with, was like a brother to you, or maybe he finally learned that he had no reason to be jealous. 
For a while Rex just stood there and watched you. From time to time his gaze wandered over to the monitor next to your bed that was recording your heartbeat and blood pressure and other medical necessities. 
The next time he turned his eyes back to you your own were slowly opening. 
“What happened? Where am - Rex? Rex, what are you doing here?” 
He didn’t know whether it was the sound of your voice, which told him you were alright more than any machine counting your heartbeat ever could, or the way you said his name, but tears appeared in the corners of his eyes. 
“You’re okay. Oh stars, you’re okay.” 
He leaned down to brush a strand of hair out of your face. You smiled at him, slowly the colour was returning to your cheeks and a moment later you used the little controller to sit up in your bed.   
“I’m more than okay.” 
And just like that Rex’s heart stopped for a beat. 
“(Y/N), I owe you an apology. I know I’ve been distant and I just want you to know that it’s not your fault. It’s me, I just -” 
“I know”, you interrupted him, the smile on your lips turning a bit sadder. “You feel forced by me and you’re right, I should try to keep my distance and that’s what I’ve been trying to do but -” 
You stopped and looked around the room. 
“Is everyone else asleep?” 
Rex was confused, but he nodded. The injured clones had been put to sleep to really recover from their injuries. 
“I’ve been trying to keep my distance, but it breaks me. I like cuddling with Anakin, I like when Ahsoka kisses my forehead, I like being hugged by your brothers, but a little brush of your fingers sets off fireworks in me. And I know you don’t like being touched, but touch is my love language. I want the people I love close to me, I want to be touching and hugging and kissing them.” 
By now there was not only colour in your cheeks, you were blushing furiously. You lifted a hand to run it through your hair and tried to watch Rex only out of the corner of your eye. 
“You don’t have to say anything, I just wanted you to know.” 
But you had interpreted Rex’s silence wrong, he wasn’t offended, he was stunned. 
“You - You love me?” 
He didn’t think it was possible, but you blushed even deeper. 
“You really don’t have to say anything, we can still be friends. The last thing I want is to push something on you you don’t want, whether it is a touch or a kiss or even a secret relationship, because I know those can be though. But you deserve to know how I feel about you.” 
Before you could say anything else Rex was leaning down and pressing his lips to yours. At first you were too shocked to respond, but you soon melted into the kiss, into his hand on your cheek and the other on your hip. You moved your arms around his neck to pull him even closer. 
When you finally let go to catch your breath Rex leaned his forehead against yours. 
“I love being touched by you, I love you. But every single touch made me nervous and happy and confused, but every slight brush of fingers was all I thought about for days. And that time in the med bay, when I had injured my shoulder, was like a dream come true.” 
You smiled up at Rex, a smile bigger than any he’d seen on you before. 
“Can you say that again?” 
He mirrored your smile. 
“Which part?” 
You pecked his lips in a loving kiss. 
“You know which part.” 
“I love you.” 
He pressed a soft kiss to your lips. 
“I love you.” 
Another kiss. 
“I love you too.” 
And another kiss. 
“I won”, Ahsoka announced with a smile. 
Both Anakin and Fives shook their heads. 
“No way, he kissed her first!”, the Jedi protested. 
“But she did say I love you first”, Kix chimed in. 
“Technically Rex said the words first”, Echo added, which earned him eye rolls from the others. 
“How about we just make a new bet to see when they tell us they’re together”, Kix suggested. 
“I bet you five credits (Y/N) is gonna tell me within a week”, Anakin said with a knowing smirk. 
Ahsoksa shook her head. “No way, she’s gonna tell me first. Ten credits.” 
Her master smiled. 
“Deal!” 
384 notes · View notes
Note
bed bargain for satine and obi-wan maybe?? 😍
bed bargain: [Obi-Wan] won’t stay in bed. [Satine] convinces them. (from these prompts)
Obi-Wan groans from his desk as knuckles rap against the other side of the door. It’s Anakin, no doubt, come to question him on the events of the day. There’s no confusion on exactly what Anakin will be wanting to know.
Girlfriend. A ridiculous accusation and just something to get under Obi-Wan’s skin. The trouble is Anakin’s always been far too good at that and Obi-Wan let it get to him today. 
He’s in severe need of a break. But Death Watch seems to be a larger issue than the Council had thought and he’s determined to get to the bottom of it.
The knocking continues.
He sighs deeply and pushes away from the desk. As he stands, there’s a rush of hot fuzziness that fills the space behind his eyes. But he blinks and it’s gone. Yet another side effect of the long day, apparently. To accompany the dizziness that has developed in the past hour.
The knocking is louder. More hurried.
Definitely Anakin.
“I’m coming!” he yells, making his way to the door. “Honestly, all these years and you have learned nothing of patience—“
He stops as the door slides open. 
“You would be amazed at the patience I have developed, actually.”
“Duchess,” he says stiffly.
Her lips twitch into a frown, but flatten back out into a thin line. “Hello.”
“It’s late.”
“Yet you are still awake.”
He casts a quick glance behind him, but the movement is too quick. The room spins and his hand reaches out, blindly. He finds the edge of the door and grips it.
“I’ve been busy,” he says, turning back around to find that her eyes are fixed on his hand, clinging to the door.
She looks back up. “I assumed as much. Before tomorrow, when the Republic will undoubtedly take your words and twist them until I am the villain they are apparently so desperate for,” – she ignores his scoff – “I wanted us to try and get on the same page.”
“We have never quite managed to achieve that, my dear,” he says.
Her frown deepens as she studies him. “Not for lack of trying.”
He clears his throat. “Is this something we could discuss in the morning? I still have–”
“No,” she says, and pushes past him into the room. “Now is good.”
“For you,” he grumbles, but allows the door to slide closed. He turns and follows her in the room. She sits on the sofa easily, as if this is the most normal thing. “I didn’t have the opportunity to thank you for the luxurious accommodations. Anakin hasn’t stopped talking about–”
“He’s not what I expected.”
Obi-Wan blinks. He wants to sit, but can’t bring himself to join her on the couch. So he hovers. “Pardon?”
“Your student. He idolises you, clearly. When you used to call and tell me of him–”
“That was a very long time ago,” he says quickly. 
“Yes,” she agrees quietly. Her eyes move to the floor between them. “It was.”
His visions swims and he can’t determine whether it’s exhaustion or a response to the lowness of her tone. The unopened nook of hurt and betrayal that she clearly feels, though he can’t understand why.
But then–that’s not true either. It’s just what he’s told himself for the past ten years, to avoid the habitual pain he was putting himself through for so long. Constantly comming her–and thinking about her in the meantime. Something had to give if he was to honour his commitment to the Jedi and his commitment to Anakin.
He drops to the couch next to her. “I was lost.”
“I know,” she says softly. “But you also didn’t want to be found.”
“I needed to…” he frowns, looking for the words. It’s painful revisiting this part of his life, immediately after Qui-Gon’s death, when everything was overwhelming and nothing felt right. “Needed to figure it out.”
“No,” she says, but there’s no chastisement in her voice. “Not by yourself.”
“Yes,” he insists. “I–”
“My dear Obi-Wan,” she says. Fixes him with those eyes that have seen too much of the galaxy and too much of him. There’s too much compassion that he doesn’t feel particularly deserving of. “Accepting help is not a crime.”
He shuts his eyes, but it does nothing to stop the pounding in his head or the pain in his chest. 
“Obi-Wan?” she says, her tone sharper than it was before. Then– “Obi-Wan!”
“I’m all right,” he manages, opening his eyes as the wave of nausea passes. He pulls a weak smile. “Sorry. I just–”
She fixes him with a hard stare. “You’re ill.”
“I’m not ill,” he scoffs.
She lifts her hand and rests it on his forehead. Doesn’t let him pull away. “Stubborn as always.”
Since she’s not letting him move away, he figures there’s no real harm in leaning into her a bit. “You have no experience with that.”
Satine laughs loudly and lets her hand fall to his cheek. They watch each other for a moment and Obi-Wan wonders if she sees the wayward young padawan the way he sees the headstrong young duchess. So much has changed, in the galaxy and between them, but beyond the light wrinkles (which he’d never point out, obviously) and thinner face, it’s the same eyes blinking back at him. He’s thankful for something consistent.
“Thank you,” he murmurs, “for not holding it against me.”
“You’ll have to be more specific,” she hums. Her hand falls to the place on the couch between them. She moves it so that it rests over his.
He rolls his eyes at her snark, but turns his hand over under hers. Links their fingers together. “When Qui-Gon died. You were so…” A deep sigh. “I don’t know what I would have done without you.”
“I didn’t do anything, my dear. You–”
“Exactly. You just listened. Let me talk, grieve, process,” he says. “I needed that. Even though I left...you never…”
She squeezes his hand. “There was never a question of you leaving. I knew it was coming–and I wasn’t angry. You had to return to the Jedi. I...I had a system to lead.”
“But even so. When I sought your help–”
“I’ll always be there for you, my dear.”
His gut twists over. “I don’t deserve that.”
“You’re right,” she says, nodding. Then, lifts their interlinked hands up and drops the lightest of kisses on the back of his palm. “You deserve so much more. More than this harsh galaxy will ever be able to repay you, I fear.”
“With Anakin. And...everything. I was overwhelmed. I was...I didn’t know what I was doing. I’m sorry. I...I didn’t mean to lose you, too.”
She smiles at him. “You didn’t.” Kisses his hand again. “And you never will.” She stands from the couch, then, pulling him up along with her. The motion jars him, and he has to grip her shoulder to stay upright. She looks him up and down with a frown. “I believe it’s time for bed for you, darling.”
He pulls away as well as he can. Grounds his feet and takes a breath. “No. I have to finish–”
“Obi-Wan,” she says firmly. “Bed.”
“I have work to do. Death Watch. They...I need to keep you safe. Need to–”
“As the ruler of this world, I order you to go to bed.”
Obi-Wan’s mouth opens, then closes. “You can’t,” – he frowns at the floor for a moment, then smiles victoriously – “I have diplomatic immunity!”
“This isn’t the Republic,” she reminds him. “And if you remember–I’m particularly stubborn.” She begins to guide him toward the bed, even as he struggles against her. “Oh, honestly, Obi-Wan. Stop being such a child.”
“Stop treating me like one!” he cries, then stops walking abruptly as the room begins to spin again. He presses the palms of his hands into his eyes and takes a shuddery breath. This bout of dizziness lasts longer than the ones before and it takes him an extra moment to gather himself.
A light hand is at his back immediately, rubbing small circles. For some reason, the motion cracks his resolve.
“I can’t sleep,” he says, scared of how broken he sounds. “When I do...it’s just nightmares. Images, memories–”
“I’ll stay,” she says, and wraps an arm around his waist.
“That’s highly inappropriate,” he says immediately in response because it’s what he’s supposed to say. And Obi-Wan Kenobi has grown very good at saying what he’s supposed to say. If the Council were to catch wind of this. A Jedi Master sharing a bed with a Duchess–
She lifts an eyebrow and his face reddens. Because he knows she’s remembering what he’s remembering. How unconcerned he was with what was appropriate once upon a time. He’s lost the padawan braid since then, though, and she’s gained a system of planets. It’s not the same.
“I’ll only stay until you fall asleep,” she says, saving him from further embarrassment. 
Obi-Wan can’t bring himself to admit his disappointment, so he just nods, and sheds his outer robe. She watches as he kicks off his boots and sets them in the corner of the room. Watches as he unties his belt and drapes it over a chair. When he finally makes his way toward the bed, she is waiting for him, standing with her arms crossed and a patient expression.
“Are you quite done?” she says, and her lips quirk up at the corners.
He doesn’t respond. Only rolls his eyes and slides beneath the sheets. She pulls back the other side in a much more graceful manner, making sure her long dress doesn’t get wrapped around her. She’s always had such a talent for making the mundane look like a dance. He tries not to stare; it’s hard.
There is at least a foot of space between them in the bed and neither makes a move to close it. 
“You didn’t use to sleep with so many clothes on,” she says after a moment of silence.
“Neither did you.”
She makes a sound of indignation, then sighs. “Touché.”
He chuckles and reaches for her hand, under the sheets. She flinches when he first grabs it and he wonders if this is too much. Physical contact within the confines of a bed. He moves to pull back, but her grip is vice-like. She doesn’t turn her head to look at him, but he’s glad. He’s still having a hard time not staring.
“Thank you,” he says finally. 
When the sunlight filters through the curtains he never drew closed and wakes him up the next morning, she’s still there.
162 notes · View notes
nevertheless-moving · 3 years
Text
Suicidal Misunderstanding XVIII
Part I - - - - - - - - - - - - - Part XV - - - - Part XVI - - - - Part XVII
Star Wars Time Travel AU #27
All Conversation stopped when Obi-Wan opened the door.
The air crackled with energy as the assembled Jedi Masters (and Anakin) paused their obviously fierce debate. After a beat, their was the utterly distinct sensation of several Masters releasing their mixed emotions to the force in an overheated wave, leaving behind only serenity (mostly). Obi-Wan’s heart keened. Of course, at the time, the tendency of council meetings to devolve into petty squabbles had been a constant source of frustration but after three years where his only source of debate was haggling over stolen goods...well.
Obi-Wan smiled, aching softly at the sight of the friends and colleagues, miraculously alive and whole.
The Nautolan Healer- the person in the room with whom he was least familiar- cleared their throat and began speaking. “Master Kenobi, welcome. I want to start off by saying you are under no obligation to-”
Yoda cut them off, “A Jedi, Master Kenobi is, Obligated he is-”
“My patient, he is, Grandmaster,” they bit back. “I know soul healing might have been looked down on when you were in training, but I would have thought-”
Master Koth interrupted, disapproval permeating the room, “And we would have thought you would have more respect when addressing your senior Jedi.”
“I couldn’t agree more,” Master Mundi blustered.
Chattering rang out as everyone in the room began talking at once.
“Master, are you alright?” Anakin asked urgently.
The conversation shut down again as the group turned to look at the man in question. Who was biting down on this fist and shaking slightly.
“I told you-” Adi Galia began. Argument erupted once more and Obi-Wan doubled over with laughter.
“Something funny, you found?” Yoda asked as Obi-Wan tried to stop laughing. “Share, you can.”
Obi-Wan inhaled sharply, wiping at the corner of his eyes and forcibly pulling himself out of his explosively giddiness, “My apologies grandmaster, i’m afraid it’s not actually that funny- I simply missed the unique tones of a high council meeting.”
“All council meetings are like this?“ Bant asked, sounding unimpressed.
“Some more than others,” Master Koon acknowledged, rubbing a hand to his forehead.
Obi-Wan cleared his throat, “Master Aerdo, I appreciate your support and while I am now doubt in need of the services of a Soul Healer- it is for rather different reasons than...outward appearances have let you to believe. Now shall we all have a seat?”
Koth frowned “All of us? I thought this was a council matter, not a personal one.” Bant and Anakin stiffened.
“It’s both.” Obi-Wan responded calmly. “But beyond that, I assure you, we will be needing the skills of everyone in this room. Master Nu, Master Che- I don’t wish to impose if you need to return to running your own domains, but I would very much appreciate your presence if your willing. I think you will find it worth your time.”
“I wasn’t planning on leaving even if you asked, so I’m pleased to accept your invitation.” Master Nu replied, cheerfully taking a seat. The rest followed and Obi-Wan joined them at the head of the holo table, eyes lingering over the assembled group. He took a breath.
“The first thing you need to know is that I have detailed knowledge of one potential future. A future I intend to prevent. A future I lived through...”
- - - - -
It is necessary to note that everyone in that room had led, in one way or another, a rather remarkable life. This was the main reason none of them could claim that the next two and half hours were the most shocking they had ever experienced. It is more than likely it was the most shocking meeting any had attended.
“We would have seen if the Sith had risen to such power!”
“Oh? Just as we would have seen if the Sith had survived at all? I remember having a similar conversation to this one 10 years ago-”
“We would have noticed- for force sake he’s visited the temple, we’ve all shaken his hand-
“Arrogant, the council has become. Seen this I have. Arrogant, I have become.”
“Skywalker may have a point about mind control, tactically-”
- - - - -
“If what you’re saying is true, though I still think perhaps some more time with Masters Aerdo and Che wouldn’t be unwarranted-”
“Oh, enough all ready Ki. We’re not going to get anywhere if you keep this up.”
“Wait- I actually have something that might help convince you that I do have overly detailed knowledge of the future- we- actually can I get some flimsi? Thank you, Anakin- a few months from now Master Mundi and I ended up trapped behind enemy lines for an extended period of time. It’s hard not to learn a few things about one another when that happens. Here you are-”
". . .”
“I told you that?”
“You, uh, didn’t really have much of a choice.”
“Oh gods.”
“Now, do you believe me?”
“Well...I suppose- I can’t really imagine how else you could possibly know considering you can’t possibly have spoken to-”
“Of course not! Honestly, how would I have been able, even if I wanted to?”
“I have never wanted to steal a message this badly in my life”
“Same”
“Yes, read the flimsi, we all want to. Welcome to, clearly we are NOT.”
Master Koth who had begun to lean suspiciously far back in his chair, fell forward with a clatter, rapidly releasing guilt into the force.
“Yes, well...hm...The force has obviously given you...an unusually wide window of insight. It would be...remiss of us to ignore it.”
“Kriff, we’re never going to know what that note said, are we?”
“No.”
- - - - -
“That’s utterly impossible- I’m sorry Obi-Wan but you’ve obviously been tricked.”
“I’m sorry Plo. Believe me, I know. I- I don’t think they were themselves.”
“If it happened suddenly enough...when we were all in the field, isolated-”
“Being surrounded by our troops is not the same thing as being isolated!”
“Agreed. Explain what you mean by ‘not themselves’”
“Well, I had just defeated General Grievous.”
“Oh, hey! Nice!”
“Thank you, Anakin. I was rejoining the troops after defeating the General- My Commander handed me back my lightsaber, which I don’t think he would have done if he was planning on- well. I began- .”
“Hold on a moment. Do you mean to say you defeated Grievous without your lightsaber.”
“I’d rather not get into the distasteful specifics-”
“Ha! That means he used a blaster.”
“Keep a better grip on your saber, you should.”
“Enough interruptions- please allow him to get to the point.”
“...Master Koon, perhaps you should take a moment to release your emotions.”
“I will do so in a moment, continue Obi-Wan.”
“Yes, Cody seemed completely normal when I spoke to him. I began riding Boga up the cliff face to meet up with a rendezvous when the force started getting...dark. Darker than it had been. I heard- distant screaming. Death. It-”
“Wait, Boga? Whoargh”
“MASTER KOON CALM DOWN”
- - - - -
“...My apologies Knight Skywalker. I have had an...abnormally mentally taxing morning. My control is somewhat damaged...”
“No worries, happens to everyone, right?”
“...Let’s return to the room and discuss this later.”
- - - - -
“To breach the temple, need a force user familiar with our protections, they would...My padawan...dead at this time, he was, yes?
“Yes, Master, Yoda. It- Anakin had technically defeated him four days prior.”
“Technically?
“You- I’m sure you did defeat him- I was unconscious at the time but I’m certain of that much at least- but it was a trap. We were on a rescue mission and- I think Sidious wanted him eliminated at that point, so he could assume full control over both sides.”
“...He really has arranged things to win no matter, hasn’t he?”
"Obi-Wan, the temple purge- how-”
“I- I wasn’t on the planet at the time...”
“Well, do you have any idea what he might have done to control the clones?”
“Yes, I do have one theory actually-  I didn’t witness any of these events first hand, but several months before the purge, one of the troopers killed Master Tiplar in a fit of madness- claimed not to clearly remember doing so and was sent to Kamino to be examined. Later, another clone- Fives- attempted to assassinate the Chancellor, accused him of working with the separatists as part of a conspiracy. The Chancellor’s medics claimed he had a tumor from a parasite on Ringo Vinda but in light of what happened after...well.
“...Why would we not investigate that.”
“Shaak Ti did, but her report was...vague. I only saw her two more times in person between now and the end. Her force presence was- shadowed. Not fallen, but...tired.”
“And you didn’t follow-up? None of us did?”
“...I can not even begin to express how much was happening at the time.”
“Nevertheless, Master Kenobi-”
“To be absolutely blunt I didn’t even remember the report until I was several months into hiding, with little else to do but meditate on the past. It just- fell into the cracks. Like a lot of things.”
“Force. We’re not assigning blame, we’re just attempting to understand. The knowledge of Palpatine...well it helps us understand a bit better how we got to where we are now. But how we got from here to there...”
“Yes, of course.”
“. . .”
“Obi-Wan?”
“Sorry- just...marshaling my memories. As I said before, the last year of the war was increasingly straining, with unrelenting pressure on the Order coming from all directions. None of us were at our best, but it in hindsight I was...still reeling...in particular. From- force I still can’t believe all that happened in six months- fuck. Sorry. Pardon my language.”
“It’s fine, don’t worry about us- just keep going,”
“Krell betrayed us horrifically- I don’t think 501st or the 212th ever got over it. Immediately after that was that absolute clusterfuck of a mission- I spent a month in a Zygrian Slave Camp- I don’t even know what we were thinking dressing Ashoka like that- ”
“Wow, wow, WAIT-”
“We were trying to go undercover to rescue the Kiros colonists but obviously it blew up in our faces immediately. I was still healing from the, well, torture, when I had to go undercover as the assassin who killed myself in a Republic Jail to protect the Chancellor. I’d rather not talk about it but needless to say I was still physically and mentally not at my best when Maul returned from the dead-”
“I- Maul?”
“He wanted revenge on me for bisecting him on Naboo- turns out both sith and zabraks are very hard to kill, so that was a pleasant surprise. Didn’t really have time to meditate on that failure before we were training guerilla fighters on Onderara-”
“Wait, Naboo? You mean-'
“Yes. Anakin and Ashoka were still mad about faking my death during the ‘undercover thing’ so that made things- tense. Then Ashoka was sent to Illum for what was supposed to be a safe mission-”
“Oh gods-”
“She got kidnapped along with a number of initiates. Somehow befriended Hondo...so...that worked out fine. I guess. Then Maul and his brother. They. Well they got revenge. Satine died. They wanted to get back at me. I was still censured by the council for my actions from that incident at the time of the temple bombing-”
“You! Obi-Wan-”
“Which meant that when Ashoka was sentenced to death I could barely even speak a word in her defense, which is maybe just as well considering the blind faith we had in the senate-”
“WHAT!”
“Calm down, of course it wasn’t her, but after the sith hells she was put through she, understandably, had lost trust in the order and decided to strike out on her own. I was still trying to clean up that political mess, track her down, not to mention run multiple armies with even less help than before when I got the reports about the rogue clones. Obviously I should have done something with the information, but. Well, I didn’t.”
Obi-Wan took a deep breath, rubbing his face with both hands. When he looked up to face the room, he was faced with various shades of shock and pity. There were several long moments of silence before Master Windu reluctantly spoke.
“... Let’s start with Krell.”
“Right. Right. Well, like I said the last year of the war was...hard. A number of people fell. Krell was the first, I think. His reasons were one of the less...hard to rationalize, even intellectually.”
“Pong Krell I suppose he always was-”
“Still I thought he had gotten over such things...”
“Oh, Kriff.”
“Relax Anakin, they haven’t taken off yet.”
“Oh, remember that one time when he was an initiate- that poor little Nautolan boy, what was his name?”
“Wait, taken off? Mace... who’s leading the my troops right now?”
“Master, before you freak out, they’re still on Coruscant.”
“Master Gallia, I don’t think that’s entirely fair- you can’t judge a Master by what they did as an initiate-”
“Ok, ok. I suppose take off must have been delayed due to my- well. When are they schedule to leave?”
“We can’t judge a Jedi by if they might fall, we could only judge them by their current actions.”
“Sundown? That- force. I had the start of a plan but- that’s enough time- but if you replace him...Sith Hells. I need things to proceed normally but kriff, there’s just not enough time. I- I don’t know if I can save everyone-”
“We’ll figure it out, Obi-Wan.”
“I- we’re coming back to this Windu- That was very well said Master Koon and I’d like you to hold onto that thought. We, we can’t judge our fellow Jedi for what they might do... good people can fall into darkness, when they’re pushed hard enough.”
“Then Krell...”
“Oh kark no, Krell’s irredeemable. Uh. That is to say. I’m reasonably certain he’s already been deliberately killing his men.
“Kriff.”
“Yes, quite.”
“...Can we go back to the brain parasite?”
- - - - -
“Alright, enough.”
“Agreed. We’re going in circles about the clone’s loyalty- once we finish this meeting we’ll start brain scans at once but for now- Obi-Wan the fallen. The purge.”
“I was on Utapau- I didn’t- I wasn’t there.”
“Master Kenobi, are you stalling?”
“Of course not, I- ok the next Jedi I remember falling was Depa Bilbaba.”
“. . .”
“That’s absurd.”
“Fall, anyone’s padawan can.
“Yes, but Depa-”
“It was a mission to Harun Kul- should I go into the details?”
“Damnit, Kenobi-
“She actually returned to the light, eventually.”
“Impossible!”
- - - - -
“Vos? I suppose he is a shadow...”
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”
“Oh, boy-”
- - - - -
“I’m somewhat confused.”
“I wouldn’t say she fully joined the light but...she didn’t want to be dark anymore.”
“You don’t think it was just circumstances?”
“Well, two years after the fall of the republic I ran into her at a bar-”
“Of course you did”
“Oh shut up, like you wouldn’t drink after all that”
“Fair enough.”
“Anyway, she could have turned me in. The bounty on my head was obscenely high, but after all our history... she bought me a drink.”
“He’s definitely stalling.”
“Yes I know...”
- - - - -
“Luminara’s apprentice? She can barely stand violence, even in the hypothetical.”
“Yes...I think that was rather the point. She- she couldn’t accept the Jedi’s role in the war and she thought she didn’t have a way out...”
“Force have mercy on us all.”
- - - - -
“...Yoda...you have to understand, the darkness in the force was overwhelming at that point...you could hardly breath.”
“Master Kenobi, if you are trying to tell us that Yoda fell- I am- not going to have a mild reaction.”
“. . .”
“Obi-Wan?!”
“No, Yoda didn’t fall.”
“FUCK’S SAKE KENOBI DON’T DO THAT”
“Can fall, any of us.”
“DON’T YOU START”
“Deep breaths Master Koth, Deep Breaths.”
“I apologize for the confusion- I was just trying to explain that the last time I saw him, neither of us were in particularly sound state of minds-”
“KENOBI YOU ARE DOING THIS ON PURPOSE AND WE ALL KNOW IT JUST GET TO THE PART WHERE SKYWALKER FALLS INSTEAD OF DRAGGING IT OUT”
"KOTH!”
- - - - -
“...Things were fine. Things were- hopeful. Dooku was gone. We got word on Grevious’s location. I was assigned to go after him. Anakin wanted to come with me, to watch my back. He didn’t want to stay on Coruscant. The council- the council ordered him to spy on the Chancellor. He protested, was uncomfortable with the idea. But he agreed. We made some jokes as we were saying goodbyes. I left Coruscant. Got to Utatpau. Killed Grevious. Thought the war was over. The force got dark. I was shot off a cliff. All the Jedi were dying. My bond with Anakin got dark. My troops felt- like strangers. When I got back Yoda told me he- he was lost to the darkside. Was the new apprentice. Palpatine claimed the Jedi tried to assassinate him. I don’t- actually understood what happened, it was all just a few days... but I have to assume Palpatine...or the person who was controlling Palpatine! Please adi’ka, you know I-
“I know, Master. It’s...Kriff- I don’t- I’m sorry.”
“We shouldn’t have split up. I shouldn’t have left you.
“Obi-Wan...you can’t actually blame yourself for what I did, what I- haven’t done, technically"
“I...”
“Well. That explains-”
“Explains, what Master Gallia? Explains why we shouldn’t have allowed an elderly politician unrestrained access to a child?”
“Master! Don’t say it like that-”
“That explains your stalling Master Kenobi, be at peace. We’re not going to judge Knight Skywalker for unknown actions he has yet to take.”
“Mace! are you all right?”
“Headache. Talk about it later.”
“Tell us who may fall, you did. Judge them prematurely, we shall not. Watch them carefully, we will.”
“...With all do respect I’m not sure the council is capable of meaningfully distinguishing between the two.’
“Master Kenobi! Perhaps we should revisit the ‘attachment’ discussion we had previously agreed to forestall?”
“Oh that is such-”
“Anakin, please allow me. Mundi- shut up or let us read the note.”
“Master Koon!”
“For all the distress being vented, I feel there is a notable lack of compassion in this room and quite frankly I find it unacceptable.”
- - - - -
“So...you didn’t watch the security holograms?”
“Yoda said not to. I think that’s everything- we should start brain scans now.”
“Kenobi...”
“Yes?”
“When Yoda was fighting Palpatine...”
“Master Gallia- not right now”
“Yes, Master Windu.”
“. . .”
“Force Be With Us.”
“Indeed.”
“Quite.”
“Hm.”
“Council Members- if you’ll excuse me, I think I need to get back to the archives. I have a few things I’d like to dig into.”
“Of course. We trust your discretion.”
“Take care of yourself, Obi-Wan”
“You as well, Master Nu. I am forever in your debt for what you brought me.”
“I’ll remember that.”
“...Now what?”
“It’s going to break our ‘contract’ with the Kamonian’s but...we’re going to have to get a clone into the healing halls for a neurological examination.”
“I...might be able to help with that. Without going very far at all actually.”
“What do you mean by that, Master Eerin?”
“Sorry, terribly sorry, I just remembered I have to take care of something-”
“What?”
“This...is rather the part we were hoping for your assistance Vokara-”
“Stay, Master Che. Given everything- I think we’re past the point of needing plausible deniability.”
“You’re... most likely right. Apologies, force of habit.”
“Would either of you care to explain?”
“Well...technically the temple isn’t allowed to care for wounded clones. Doing so would violate their ‘warranty’. However...”
Part XIX
223 notes · View notes
gospelofme · 3 years
Text
47 Thoughts While Watching Part 1 of The Bad Batch season finale (spoilers ahead!!!!!)
“They’ll still come for you”. Ugh that sounds so sad. He’s confident about it too.
How did Echo get so good at ship repairs? Unless basic ship crap is mandatory for sudden repairs. Which I guess if you hang with Skywalker, that’s a requirement.
Aaahhh, the Kamino theme is memorable.
So I wonder if Rampart planned to leave Crosshair on Kamino all along?
I love the fact the Kaminoans kept secrets from the Republic/Empire. Like using their credits to fund their own projects.
I wonder how Omega knew about that platform….I didn’t think she’d ever left Kamino. Unless she went there with Nala Se for whatever.
Damn, I’d hate always getting wet when I go outside.
So the pad and lift are proximity sensor based. Not weight.
So the tubes aren’t documented on any schematics. So none of the blueprints that Tech has access to have them on there. That means one of two things:
- there are “official” and “unofficial” blueprints. Like some the Republic were given and the actual plans.
- Nala Se had the tube system built specifically for her.
Private research lab doesn’t mean secret…but still, why did she get a private one? Was it just to create the enhanced clones? Or was it used for more “off the records” projects?
And if there are other tubes that run throughout Kamino, and they’re all secret, WHY!? Like why do they exist? Surely the Kaminoans know they can just go wherever they want whenever they want because they fucking live there. Unless….they became prisoners in their own home….
About how uncomfortable Omega is having to go to the lab…
“why would I be?” He sounded like he rolled his eyes there.
The amount of salt that is being sprinkled by Crosshair right now.
“We didn’t have a choice?”
“And I did?”
Okay so when I first watched this episode, I thought that meant he no longer had his chip. But now I see it as Crosshair not having a choice because Hunter had committed treason by what his orders were telling him.
Also, I love the colors used in the control room. Idk why. They just all work. I think it’s because the rest of that place is so blinding with white light.
So how did they build the tubes under water….
“Most in Tipoca City don’t know about it.” So some do.
Omega sounds so sad. Honestly since I’m certain there were more than just five enhanced clones, since Nala Se said that that was all that remained, I wonder if Omega saw the clones that didn’t survive the experimentation.
About how Tech always looks like he’s texting. I’m waiting for him to take a selfie with Echo or something.
About Hunter still trying to convince Crosshair that this is all influenced by his chip. I think Crosshair knows he’s being used, but he (like the others in Clone Force 99) want some sense of normalcy. Like Echo said earlier, “we’re soldiers, what other path is there?”
Okay the alarm reminds me of the purge siren.
And the indoor alarm sounds like an airport alert.
About Echo taking charge, although I think he naturally is the next in command rank-wise. Do we even know the rank of Tech and Wrecker? What was Crosshair’s rank before?
Omega should’ve gone and tattled on them to Rex. Like “and then they just ditched me!! Again!! I know I have no combat training but still…”
Its pretty clear that Crosshair knows how the team is going to act. Like what tactics they’d use and decisions they’d make. Like on Bracca, Crosshair knew immediately the scanner frequencies were being jammed, because he had seen Tech use that trick before.
“We’re running out of time Commander” I have enjoyed that guy’s voice. It’s soothing.
The way Crosshair spits out “the Republic” makes me think there is something more than just the inhibitor chip at play. I wonder if he’s always harbored ill feelings towards the Republic. Cut had issues with the war that were so strong, he deserted. I wonder if Crosshair had similar feelings.
Wow he is really hurt about being left behind. And I can understand that. But Hunter did have a responsibility to Omega, Wrecker, Echo, and Tech too. He couldn’t risk them being shot and killed while trying to reason with someone who is shooting at him. Of course maybe if he had made more of an effort to get Crosshair to come with them…..of course I do think the Empire has done some brainwashing of Crosshair as well.
“I was one of you. You may have forgotten, but I haven’t. And it’s why I’m going to give you, what you never gave me. A chance.”
I think there is more to this than face value. It could very well mean he’s giving them a chance to join the Empire. But that whole conversion always used the term “choice”, not “chance”. “Chance” is used more as “an opportunity to do something”. That “do something” could be making a decision though. Like “I’m going to give you a chance to join the Empire.” But it could be “I’m going to give you a chance to get out of here.” Hunter didn’t give Crosshair a chance to prove he was loyal to them either. Plus the way the rest of Crosshair’s team reacted tells me they weren’t aware of their Commander’s intentions.
I love how Tech, Wrecker, and Echo are standing there like 😐
I thought it was interesting Crosshair decided to send Omega on a shuttle off world. Of course where would that have been? Just pick some random coordinates and say “good luck”? How would that be received by Rampart? Of course I don’t think he cared about Omega. That was just Nala Se and Lama Su really. And honestly, Crosshair was sounding like he’d actually thought about this. Like if Hunter wants to keep Omega safe, then he needs to realize that she won’t be safe with them. Especially if they’re being hunted. However there may have been an ulterior motive here too. With Omega out of the way, It will be like “old times” when it was just them. He probably feels like he was replaced by a kid.
The change in music though. The emotional, sweeping theme dropping down to a more sinister theme when Crosshair mentions their superiority over regular troopers.
“This is what we were made for.” What if, and hear me out…what if the enhanced clones were created specifically for the Empire. Their deployment during the Clone Wars could’ve been a testing phase. They may not have been prepared for the chance the inhibitor chips didn’t work. Crosshair had mentioned that Hunter couldn’t see the bigger picture. What if that is the bigger picture. That all of them were created to serve the Empire. Not the Republic. Which would explain Crosshair’s sudden disgust with it.
That reflection shot of Tech staring into the mirror. I like that shot. That’s really beautifully animated.
I have a feeling Crosshair knew his new squad wouldn’t listen to him. The “stand down” sounded like he was just saying it to say it. I don’t think he ever had respect for them, not after what happened with Saw’s fighters. They weren’t following him out of loyalty, but fear. And loyalty is a big deal to Crosshair. Honestly I think he had planned all along to kill his new squad. Like from the beginning. Which is why he was trying so hard to get his old squad members. The sooner he got them and convinced them to come to his side, the sooner he could shoot his new squad.
I have a feeling Crosshair know’s the reason why they were all created. Granted that could be brainwashing by the Empire to gain his compliance and loyalty. But something tells me that they were created specifically to become an elite squad for the Emperor.
Crosshair has some serious Anakin vibes when he’s telling Hunter to not become his enemy. And Hunter has some Obiwan vibes with the whole “we never were” line.
I do enjoy the weight they give Crosshair when Hunter flips him. Like the sound of him hitting the floor. He’s heavier than he looks.
Lmao that one TK trooper like “nope, imma get the fuck out of here.”
“Let the clones die together.” Yeah that bitch always intended to leave Crosshair on Kamino. Rampart never actually considered him important since he was the one that pitched the idea of an all conscripted trooper squad. He only had Crosshair as a part of it because Admiral Tarkin still liked the idea of clones. I think Rampart is going to try to climb over Tarkin on that Empire ladder. He didn’t mention to Tarkin that Crosshair was still on Kamino.
Aaahhh now the subject of the chip. Does he or doesn’t he? I think he does. The Empire wouldn’t remove it and take that risk of losing that compliance and blind loyalty. Plus the “does it really matter?” tells me he doesn’t know when, which he would if it was recent. He did have it in the first episode though. It showed up on the scanner and he did the whole “good soldiers follow orders.”
So I don’t think he was going to shoot Hunter. I think he feigned movement to make Hunter shoot him. He may not have thought Hunter’s blaster was sent to stun even. He may have intended to have Hunter kill him.
I do like how Hunter doesn’t hesitate to not bring Crosshair this time.
Damn the shots of the empty facility kills me.
Okay, so I know this was sad BUT the bombardment of Kamino was beautifully animated. Honestly. The underwater shots of the bolts hitting the support pillars. And it reminds me…Omega asked Tech about these the war was like and now she kinda knows. She’s never seen explosions like that.
Get ready for part 2
@jgvfhl @leias-left-hair-bun @escapedthesarlacc @halzore @eyecandyeoz
34 notes · View notes
ooops-i-arted · 3 years
Note
I know that considering (TCW-2008) refs/characters in this episode that it won’t be your fav but can you please share your child development thoughts for S02E05 please??
They may have been stuff I wasn’t fond of but there were so many cute Baby & Dad moments to make up for it!!
First of all, the puppeteers deserves ALL THE AWARDS for bringing Baby Yoda to life!  Not just making Baby “come alive” in general, but also that sort-of-awkward way children move when they don’t have complete confidence in their limbs yet.  The are doing a phenomenal job this season and I hope they are all safe and healthy and have all the chocolate they want.  Not only is it fantastic from a special effects perspective, it really highlights how far Baby has come now that he’s not stuck in a pod all day and implies that Din is trying to keep him active and physically healthy, and giving him opportunities to develop his muscles and muscle control.  (Just imagine them playing a makeshift game of chase through the Razor Crest!)
I absolutely loved Din saying “Hey, what did I tell you” because I have said those exact words in that exact tone SO MANY TIMES and also his Dad Voice is getting so much better!  Baby actually listens to him and understands that Din expects him to listen!  Of course he still wants the ball (and apparently takes it enough that Din has been practicing his Dad voice on that too, “What did I say about that” is another phrase I also use at work).
Though there may have been another reason he wants the ball this time - as a comfort item, like a child bringing their favorite stuffie to the first day of school.  Baby was there when the Armorer told Din to find Jedi to bring the Baby to.  He has been listening a lot when Din talks about finding Jedi to train him and give him to.  I think Baby is very, very aware of the fact that the end goal is to leave him with the Jedi and is very afraid of leaving his beloved father.  He would’ve had stable caretaker(s) at the Jedi Temple but in the last twenty years who knows what’s happened to him.  His subdued, don’t-draw-attention-to-myself behavior in Season 1 definitely makes me think he’s been neglected, bare minimum, and possibly abused.  Din not only treats him kindly but actually takes care of his needs, is kind to him, and is the most stable presence in his life.  Of course he’d be terrified to leave him!
I think that’s also why he doesn’t play ball with Ahsoka, so to speak.  We all know he can lift a mudhorn, a rock is no problem for him.  He could do it in a heartbeat.  But I think he understood that if he showed off for her, Ahsoka might take him away.  So he refused for that, and because it’s very common at that age to refuse to do something to regain control of a situation.  (That’s why you get kids enjoying telling you “No!” and the whole terrible twos thing.)  If he refuses, he stays in control of what’s happening.  But of course Din knows exactly how to tempt him with his favorite ball, and kids do want to please adults they like.  Anything to hear that sweet, sweet positive reinforcement.  So it wasn’t just the shiny ball that convinced Baby - it was the fact that Din was the one playing with him, and that Din so enthusiastically tells him good job.  (And Din is noticeably more into it when using the orb.  Maybe he and Baby have played with it before?  So it’s more natural to both of them.  And he was truly so proud of his boy!!  It was adorable.)
It’s the same with hearing his real name, which he presumably hasn’t heard in twenty years.  He responds when Ahsoka says it, but when Din says it?  He’s instantly turned around, ears perked all the way up in “happy” mode.  It’s special when Din says it, because Din is special to him.
Which then ties into the whole attachment thing.  Baby is very healthily attached to Din.  There’s a reason we stick kids with the same teacher for a year plus at a time, it’s because kids are comfortable with a regular person they can get to know, just like adults are.  To Baby, Ahsoka is just some orange stranger and Din is his dad.  Of course he is more attached to Din and has fears over losing him, especially if he’s been deprived of that for the last 20-odd years!  It’d be different if Din was sticking around to transition Baby somewhere new, or just dropping him off for lessons.  But leaving a parent permanently and abruptly after likely previous trauma?  That would be horrible for Baby.
And re: The Jedi + attachments Ahsoka (and Filoni) are wrong on that.  The Jedi do not forbid attachments, only letting your attachments rule you.  Ki-Adi-Mundi is married and so were others, and there are plenty of Padawan-Master relationships to see - for example, Obi-Wan was attached to Qui-Gon and clearly loved him and was devastated by his loss, but it’s only when he conquers his emotions and calms himself is he able to defeat Maul, and afterward is implied/shown to mourn Qui-Gon and handle his grief in a healthy way.  Anakin doesn’t fall because he’s attached to his loved ones.  He falls because he’s willing to commit murder and genocide over his attachments.  So “I can’t teach Grogu because he’s attached to you” is bullshit.  “I can’t teach Grogu because he is attached to you and needs to be safely transitioned into Jedi life in an environment that is comfortable and safe for him, with your help as his adoptive father, and I have no way to do that here and/or don’t feel comfortable doing that” is much more accurate.  (This is probably what would’ve happened if the Order was still around, anyway, and/or how he was actually taken in - the 3D TCW episode with the Jedi children shows the bounty hunters tricking the parents to kidnap the kids, implying that a real Jedi would work with the family to transition the children in a safe and healthy manner.  The Rodian even says the Jedi have already spoken to her iirc.)
Of course even if Grogu is unhealthily attached to Din (which he isn’t, imo, he behaves like a child at a normal level of attachment to a regular caretaker he loves) then ignoring it and not doing anything about it is equally bad.... as we’ve already seen when he got upset with Cara last season.  Baby must learn to control his powers so he doesn’t hurt himself or others, especially since he’s so young he doesn’t always have full control over his own emotions.  “Big” emotions can be a lot for a kid; a screaming meltdown is bad enough when the kid can’t yeet you with their mind.  I’ve been hit, kicked, bitten, scratched, had toys thrown at me, even been hit with heavy wooden blocks.  A Grogu out of control with his emotions and using the Force?  Terrifying.  Yes, his attachment to Din makes him more vulnerable to his fears and anger - we’ve seen him choke Cara and while he only held back the mudhorn, in theory he could’ve done more.  But that is just all the more reason to teach him control.  Ignore harmful behavior and it will only get worse, and Din isn’t really equipped to help him navigate that since Din doesn’t understand the Force and can’t understand what Grogu says.
(Also lol at “He doesn’t understand” “He does.”  You can 100% tell when kids understand you perfectly and are refusing to do it, even when a parent is making excuses for their darling. xD  Especially since kids will frequently act/react differently to their parents versus other caretakers.)
“He’s hidden his abilities to survive over the years” I call partial bullshit on that.  No, I don’t think Baby has done any long-term planning or had thoughts along the lines of “I’m being hunted and need to protect myself by pretending not to be a Force-user.”  But I think he has probably figured out people react a certain way when he does Force things and perhaps decided “I shouldn’t make things float because then people will grab me/I will get taken away/other consequence I don’t like will happen.”  That’s more in line with a toddler’s level of thinking/comprehension.  And it adds greater weight to him saving Din from the mudhorn - he didn’t know how Din would react to him using the Force, if Din would try and hurt him or lock him in the pod or whatever, but he still wanted to save Din.  Overall though I think Baby’s Force-use is in line with a toddler’s thoughts.  “I want X to happen, I can make that happen with the Force, so I will make X happen unless I’m more scared of [consequence] happening.”
So overall a pretty revealing episode for Baby/Grogu.  (I’m not used to the new name yet tbh.)  Although I’m worried about how many times it will take Din hearing it to realize that yes, you are this baby’s father, get that through your beskar-plated skull.
170 notes · View notes
mostthingskenobi · 3 years
Note
Hey! Big fan! I love Obitine because I feel it makes Obi-Wan’s ‘ training approach’ to Anikin so much more understandable. There was a ‘woman’... he is trying to be a role model- trying to not let this kid make the same mistakes- not realizing ( again his youth) that sometimes kids learn best from seeing elders struggle. For that reason... Among others... I believe that ‘canon’- they met at 15-16... is only half the story. Kenobi is the master of half truths... thoughts?
Hmmmmmmm.....what an interesting concept. I like the idea that Obi-Wan was trying to keep Anakin from making the same mistakes with Padme that he made with Satine. I never thought of it that way. Depending on how much “trouble” Obi-Wan got into with Satine, he would have comprehended that Anakin was on a slippery slope with Padme....especially considering that Obi-Wan was aware of Anakin’s tendency to be lead around by his emotions. He said in the Mortis arc that balance eluded Anakin...which is funny...considering he was supposed to bring balance to the Force....... 0_0
I’m not too sure about is their actual age. I know the Mandalorian Civil War began in 42BBY, but it was my understanding that the Jedi were not called to assist right away. They were contacted after the conflict grew larger than the Mandalorians could handle. I thought Obi-Wan and Satine were closer to 18 or 19 when they met. We don’t actually have an age for Satine. “Official Records” only show her death year, not when she was born.
Tumblr media
I agree that Obi-Wan is a master of Half-Truths (i.e. “What I told you was true, from a certain point of view.” sounds a lot better than “I lied to you because the truth was too painful.”) But on this issue????? I’m not sure. Obi-Wan compartmentalizes like his life depends on it. After something awful happens, he wraps it up, puts it in a box, locks the box, and never wants to speak of it ever again. If I had to offer an educated guess, I would say after he and Qui-Gon left Mandalore, he never looked back. I bet his heart ached for a while, but Obi-Wan would have ignored that ache until it was so quiet that he could convince himself that it wasn’t there. But when he and Satine were reunited during the Clone Wars, he was forced to deal with his past, whether or not he wanted to.
Now, if you’re asking do I think something “more” happened between them while they were young on Mandalore? The answer is unequivocally yes.
Are you asking do I think something “more” happened between them during the Clone Wars? Possibly yes. And here’s why: In season 3 of the clone wars, during the episode “Corruption,” Satine and Padme are sneaking around a warehouse together and the following exchange takes place:
Padme: I must say, when I came to visit I hadn’t pictured us in such an informal setting.
Satine: Yes, well, from what Master Kenobi tells me, during your tenure as queen you became quite familiar with such excursions. 
This implies to me that Obi-Wan and Satine are still talking privately well after the events of the Mandalore arc. That’s kind of a big deal...Obi-Wan and Satine chit chat enough for him to recount his adventures during The Phantom Menace. Perhaps it came up during a conversation where they discussed Qui-gon’s passing...but either way, it seems pretty clear that Obi-Wan and Satine are having late night phone calls secretly in their bedrooms, probably while hiding under their blankets with a flashlight so no one catches them.
Tumblr media
Thank you so much for your message and for giving me something to think about!!!! I appreciate you, anon!
50 notes · View notes
halpertstuna · 3 years
Text
red cheeks - jj maybank
A/N: this was supposed to be a short blurb but you know me, i always have to add way too much details. so let’s just pretend it is. don’t know how i feel about this but i hope you guys enjoy(:
quick reminder, REQUESTS ARE OPEN<3
-> prompt list <-
pairing: jj maybank x reader
word count: 2,171
summary: jj knows you always have something to say and gets suspicious when all of the sudden you stop talking back.
warnings: maybe like one mention of smoking, cursing, probs typos and i think that’s it really, if you notice something else lmk
-> masterlist <-
Tumblr media
(gif credit: @anakin-skywalker )
Ever since the day JJ first met you, he’s been nothing but a flirt, and you always had something to say about it. Whether it was a sly comeback, a witty comment or a mean burn. From eye rolling to flipping off, you never let him forget he’s got absolutely no chance.
But lately, you’ve been awfully quiet around him, as if your hard exterior all of the sudden became much softer.
And he noticed.
The first time he became aware something changed, was one Thursday afternoon. You parked your car in front of the chateau, exiting it, then made your way towards five folding lawn chairs, two of which were occupied by Pope and Kie’s butts.
“Hey! We haven’t seen you all week! I guess you got John B’s text” Kie greeted you with a warm smile.
You plopped down on an empty chair beside her, filling it with your presence. “Yeah, I’ve been busy,” you stated as you looked around, followed by the question “where is the idiot anyway?”
“i’m right here!”
JJ said like a frisky pup, exiting the chateau as he took a swing of his almost empty beer bottle.
“surprisingly enough, i’m not talking about you this time” you retorted, smiling at him sarcastically.
“He ran out of liquor and chips, so he went to the grocery store to get some more” Pope answered your already forgotten question as JJ’s essence filled the air.
“What do you need him for anyway?” Kie questioned, “I need to talk to him about something”
“You can always talk to me princess” JJ said through a smirk as he sat on the armrest of your chair, then brushed a stray strand of hair behind your ear, expecting an elbow in his ribs. But nothing followed his action. That’s when he perceived the faintest of flushes creeping up your cheeks.
At the beginning he thought nothing of it, but the way you practically flew out of your lawn chair with John B.’s arrival, made him a bit skeptical.
When John B. parked the Twinkie you offered to help him put away the groceries, and walked him inside with bags of food, snacks and beers in your hands.
As you assisted in unloading the contents of the bags to the fridge and cabinets, he trailed off “So...did you tell him?”
“Shhhh!” He cackled at your reddening face “keep it down Rutledge! Or I swear to god I’ll sew your mouth shut, you indiscreet meatloaf.”
John B. was your best friend far before the other pogues came along, he knew you like the palm of his hand. He always suggested you had a thing for JJ and that you rather enjoyed the attention he gave you, yet you always revoked his claims, stating he was nothing but annoying.
Until you realised John B. might have been right all along.
It happened last Friday. You guys threw a kegger at the boneyard and for the first time, you actually took notice of how JJ gave all of his undivided attention to some touron.
As you stared at the tan boy, you found yourself wishing it were your hip he was caressing.
Suddenly he paid no heed to your existence and that’s when you realised all of your feelings and responses to his so called annoying actions, were you denying yourself to him. And as he talked her up through his enchanting smile, you realised you didn’t want him to give that teasingly, flirty care towards anyone but you, and for a brief moment you found yourself actually missing his antics.
Luckily, you were quite gifted with the ability to hide your feelings, almost no one could see through you. Just almost. Of course you couldn’t hide anything from John B., just by the way your eyes flickered past JJ as he led the touron to the spare room, he noticed something was wrong. Different.
Later that night he nudged you until you broke, admitting your feelings for JJ were true, and during that week, he kept trying to convince you to tell him how you feel. With no luck, you hadn’t said a word. Instead, you had been trying to avoid JJ by avoiding the rest of the pogues.
“Well, did you?”
“No you melon, if I had I would’ve told you, obviously”
“Okay Juliet” he teased and you poked his side making him flinch then chuckle.
“No but seriously, you should do something about it”
“Do something about what?”
JJ chimed in, walking towards the two of your figures that were sat on the kitchen counter.
“Nothing” you said simultaneously. You started feeling nervous and decided to jump off and walk out, leaving the two alone inside.
JJ had a bewildered expression on his face, he was expecting a ‘keep your nose out of my business’, yet instead you just walked passed him avoiding eye contact, which was very uncharacteristic of you.
“What’s up with her today?”
JJ asked as he hopped on the counter, taking over your former spot next to his best friend.
“What do you mean?”
“Oh come on, you couldn’t have possibly missed that. She is way nicer to me than usual”
John B. shrugged his shoulders, as if he didn’t know what he were talking about.
Curious, JJ couldn’t help himself, “So... did she ask about me?”
John B. rolled his eyes at the question, he was fully aware that all of JJ’s courtship wasn’t completely an act, he knew JJ was fairly infatuated with you, yet he felt it wasn’t really his place to interfere, knowing you have the right to tell him when you’re ready. And even though he did try to push you to do it, he still knew where to draw the line, not selling off either of his best friends to the other.
“Yes”
JJ looked at John B. wide eyed waiting for him to continue. When he didn’t he impatiently blurted “well!? What did she say!?”
“I believe her exact words were ‘what can I do to get that nitwit to leave me alone’”
JJ jabbed his side and in reply, John B. smacked the back of his head gently, saying “what is with you guys and my ribs today? Leave them at peace you feisty goon”
“She didn’t actually say that right?” JJ tried to play it cool, pretending it didn’t really bother him but it was apparent to John B. he somewhat cared.
“I’m just joking dude, ask her yourself if you want to know so badly” He replied as he too, hopped off the counter joining the rest outside.
At the beginning, JJ was only inquisitive by your behavior, but with time he got suspicious.
You didn’t only stop talking back but stopped being around him as well, like two days later, it was the moment he stepped foot in the chateau that you were all of the sudden in a hurry to leave although only seconds before you were talking about how comfortable the couch was and how you never wanted to get up. Every time he was around, you avoided his eyes, touch and tried to ignore his overall presence, you talked to everyone regularly but whensoever he’d tempt start a conversation, you’d shy away.
He didn’t understand what happened, he even contemplated the possibility you were mad, yet it made no sense, for he couldn’t recollect a reason to why you would be.
He couldn’t recall saying or doing something that could hurt you either, so the only alternative left to think of, was that you actually began hating him.
Unbeknownst to him that your attempts at avoiding him were for the exact opposite reason.
You were petrified that if you told him and he didn’t feel the same way, it would ruin everything.
Sure, he always pinned after you, constantly reminding you how much he did want you, but that was just JJ. He hit on every girl with a heartbeat, you never thought of his gestures as anything more than his sheer nature. So you never even considered to confess your feelings for him.
Two weeks have passes by since you guys all sat together at John B.’s, two weeks since JJ developed his suspension.
You were doing a history assignment when your phone buzzed, the screen lighting up then reflecting on the glass of the framed picture of you and the pogues that was sitting on your nightstand. You decided to ignore it in favour of the unfinished essay, knowing if you checked it now you’d be stuck on your phone for ages.
A couple of hours passed by and you completed all of your work.
You rushed to pick up your phone, practically collapsing onto your bed, ecstatic that you finished and can finally rest. You unlocked it only to find out your very much needed break was over. You had a text from John B. asking you to come over to the chateau asap.
You reluctantly got up and drove to the chateau, wondering what could possibly be so urgent - but not urgent enough to call.
As soon as you got there, you noticed a mop of blond locks peaking out of the hammock, you immediately recognised them as JJ’s.
You tried walking passed him but his words halted you in your tracks.
“He’s not in there,” you turned around to meet his drowsy figure laying on the hammock with a lit joint resting in between his lips.
“And hello to you too” he added, knowing you saw him.
“Hi” you walked closer to him, lips curving into a faint smile.
He diverted his gaze upwards, it was quite for a few moments, then he asked “Are lobsters mermaids to scorpions?” mesmerised by his own question he narrowed his eyes, making you giggle and roll your own.
“JJ, how high are you?”
“Six foot, why?”
You scrunched your nose at his answer, face palming at his stupidity.
“Well i should probably go look for John B.,” you declared beginning to make your way towards your car when he admitted, “I actually sent you that text”.
You turned around with furrowed eyebrows to meet his guilty eyes.
“I’m going home JJ”
“Wait! Please, stay” he plead. “I wanted to talk to you, and I wanted it to be face to face but I knew if the text was sent from my phone you wouldn’t be here right now”.
It took you a moment to comprehend his words, his actions, eventually realising it was true, you gave in. You approached the hammock signaling him to move and he obeyed, you got in and laid beside him, hands on your stomach as an awkward silence filled the air.
“Well, did you swallow your tongue or something?”
He was actually thinking about a way to ask his question in a gradual manner.
“how come you’ve been abnormally nice to me lately?”
But failed.
“what do you mean?”
“oh come on, you‘re nicer than usual”
“i mean, i’ll punch you in the face if you want” you asserted confidentiality as if you didn’t understand what he was talking about.
“I’m serious! First you started ignoring my comments which is very unlike you, since you always talk back. But then you started ignoring me in general. It’s like you always seem to be away when I’m around or at a distance when I try to engage conversation. What’s up with that? Are you mad at me, did i do something?”
“What? No JJ, you didn’t do anything”
“Then why?”
You stayed silent, not wanting to admit you had feelings for him. He continue throwing possibilities, trying to justify your actions, going crazy but knowing you probably won’t tell him what’s going on. And you only grew redder by the minute.
“I mean it’s either I did something to upset you, or- Wait a minute-“
He turned to look at you, a mischievous smile of realisation painted across his face, “you like me”
Your eyes widened, mouth slightly agape as you didn’t know what to say yet still tried to stall “I will squeeze your kneecaps”
“You didn’t say no!”
“Why did you get high anyway?”
“It took you two hours to get here, I thought you weren’t coming- Ah! You’re trying to change the subject! you didn’t say no!”
“Just shut up and kiss me you dill hole”
With no hesitation he launched his entire body to his left in an attempt to hover over you and do as told, but instead, he ended up flipping the hammock upside down, hurling both of you onto the solid ground.
You were out of breath as you guffawed, the sound of your heavy laughs mingled filling the air, when his hand found its way to your hair, pulling out a leaf that was tangled in it.
He brushed the loose locks behind your ear, his eyes holding nothing but utter adoration towards the girl beside him, since he now knows, he will never cease to make you blush.
taglist:
@infinitelycharmed23 @queenofthepouges @bibliophilewednesday @bijleegiregi @princessnnylzays
feel free to add yourself to my taglist!
124 notes · View notes
Text
to love is the greatest gift
2. the dinner
Tumblr media
pairing: obi wan kenobi x f!reader (past!din djarin x reader | past!obi wan kenobi x satine kryze) characters: f!reader, anakin amidala-skywalker, padmé amidala-skywalker, mentiones of din djarin, obi wan kenobi, others word count: 3.6k+ warnings: angst, fluff, death, longing, some arguing, slow burn summary: au! It has never been the right timing for you and Obi Wan, but maybe this time will be different. a/n: thank you so much for all the love in the previous chapter! i was so overwhelmed that i was a little nervous posting this part ;w; i really hope you guys enjoy this story! and do let me know what you think of the current formatting. is the switch from past to present jarring? or is it okay?
prev || all || next
Then.
The heat that Summer brought to Coruscant was different than Tatooine’s, less harsh and dry, and more of a kiss of warmth on your skin. Mother did say that Tatooine was always more temperamental, quick to heat up; while Coruscant could be a little tepid sometimes, but always a lot of fun. 
That was probably the only nice thing about Coruscant. Everything else about the city—like their streets—were too confusing.
Following the directions on your phone, you pulled the straps of your backpack tighter with your unoccupied hand, eyebrows furrowed as you tried to read the map on your phone. Was this truly the place you were meant to meet your guide? 
You looked up at the quaint house in front of you, quite a ways away from downtown and more in the suburbs. It looked like a cottage, like the ones in home magazines your mother liked collecting or the ones in Naboo or Stewjon. Could a high schooler, even one able to attend a prestigious private school, be able to afford such a home?
Did the headmistress confuse the address? Seemed possible. The woman seemed to be much more interested in the absolutes of rules and manners than actually helping you find your guide. Maybe you should have accepted your mother’s offer to accompany you. Or maybe convinced your parents to let you come with Anakin, you were sure Shmi wouldn't have minded.
You stood on your tiptoes, trying to take a peak over the white fence covered in a fuchsia flower—bougainvillea, if you remembered correctly. When that didn’t work, you stuffed your phone into your pocket and with hands holding onto your backpack straps to not jostle your belongings around too much, you began to jump.
There was a sound, like the sound of metal clinking and wood screeching, and the gate opened to a boy? man? (too young to own a house and maybe a few years older than you). He stepped out, blue eyes stopping on your curious form and greeting you with an amused, “Hello, there.”
You knew he had seen you jumping, there was no way he wouldn’t be looking at you the way he was if he hadn’t—embarrassing.
“Hello,” you greeted him back, timid and quickly setting your feet flat on the ground.
“May I help you?” he asked you, his Coruscanti accent thicker than the ones that greeted you at the terminal, much more charming too. It reminds you of all the actors you’ve seen on screen, speaking clearly and with nuance—never faltering. “You seem to be quite lost.”
“Oh, yes, I’m looking for someone,” you found yourself saying, tone turning formal and stiff. He removed his flat cap to push wisps of auburn hair away from his eyes, nodding for you to continue when you paused. “Padmé Amidala, is her name. She’s supposed to be my guide?”
At the mention of Padmé, the kind stranger sighed, hands falling to his hip. “Ah, now I understand why she came over. Did father know?” he murmured under his breath, looking back at the house with a raised brow. “Give me a moment and I’ll fetch her for you.”
You nodded quietly, watching him turn back inside, but not even two steps in, he stopped and turned back around, flashing you an almost sheepish, but albeit charming smile. 
“Pardon, that was a bit rude of me. Would you like to come in and wait for her in the garden?”
You mulled it over—following a stranger into their home was always something you had been advised against since you were a child. It would be completely unwise, wouldn’t it? But he seemed too kind, eyes too innocent and earnest to hurt you. And so, against your usual better judgement, you nodded. “If it’s no trouble?”
“None at all,” he assured you, opening the gate wider, “please come in. I’m Obi Wan, an old friend of Padme’s.”
You gave him your name and he smiled at you, wide and completely beautiful. “A pleasure to meet you.”
Now.
You were only a girl back when you first met, immature and blossoming and he was a young man, all roses and maturity—too much like his father (and yet nothing like him)—it was never going to be the right time for you.
Even now, standing before you—him with his tidy, combed auburn hair, white, stupid shirt that is freshly pressed, and brown slacks and dress shoes that are anything but casual—you feel like that girl all over again. 
“It has been a long time, Obi Wan.” Obi Wan. Obi. Obi. It’s been so long since you’ve said his name aloud that it feels so foreign on your tongue now. “I—I didn’t know you were visiting.”
His eyebrows furrow, deep, cerulean pools gliding away to the white door only a few steps away. His nostrils flare with a breath and turns his gaze back to you, opening his mouth to say something—he doesn’t get the chance. 
“There you are! You said—oh,” It’s Padmé. Beautiful, sweet Padmé looking as lost and confused to see Obi Wan just at the entrance of her driveway, with you. “Obi Wan?”
“Hello, old friend.” His head is slanted towards her now, a soft smile on his face. “It has been some time.” 
Friend. There’s always been that distinction between you and her in his words and actions. She was and is friend or little sister, and you were and have not always been darling—that always something, but never just nothing. 
“Yes, it has,” she says, unable to change her expression, and you don’t blame her. You still can’t believe it either.
Did Anakin know?
“Honey, where is—“
Of course Anakin knows, how could he not know? Look at his stupid face peeking over Padmé’s shoulder like the kriffing embecile he is! Those wide blue eyes don’t fool you, not one bit!
Tumblr media
Dinner is quiet for the most part. 
The twins are unsure of the newcomer, even though Padmé and Anakin keep reassuring them that he’s a friend, their godfather (something they are aware of thanks to the pictures of the six of you sitting on the mantle of their fireplace). The twins were only a year old when he returned the first time and around three years old when he left the second time. They have no attachment to the man sitting at the head of the table. 
They absolutely refuse to sit next to him—Obi Wan smiles, but there’s a flash of pain in his eyes at hearing their quiet reluctance and rejection to get to know him—and so, you and Anakin take the seat closest to him and across from one another. Leia by his side and Luke by yours. Padmé takes the other head, smiling placidly, but her brown eyes waver when they meet yours every time.
Utensils scrape against ceramic, Obi Wan occasionally asking questions—how have you been? how’s work? how’s school? did Mr. Ford finally move? Quinlan still touring? Mr. Windu still teaching at the school?
It’s Anakin that mostly answers for all of you, trying to keep dinner as lively as it usually is, but with the kids eating silently by your side and not falling for their dad’s bait, it falls flat.
This dinner was supposed to be full of discussion—who will be joining us? will I need to buy more bread? did the know Qui Gon? does it matter? coffee for how many people, again? But you can’t bring any of them up in fear of how Obi Wan would react, and quite honestly, you think it might be because you don’t know how to react to his presence, yet.
Your heart squeezes in your chest every time you glance at him and find him looking back at you, a longing to reach out and take him into your arms edging ever so slightly forward every time. But there’s also a part of you that wants to keep him at a distance, to not give him the ability to hurt you when he inevitably leaves again. And that latter part of you is probably the reason why you blurt a question you should’ve kept to yourself.
“Why are you back?” Anakin trails off, his voice lowering when yours suddenly cuts through his. Obi Wan’s eyes widen and his mouth hangs open slightly and you realize your question comes off more accusatory than you meant it to sound. “I—I mean, it’s just so sudden and—“
“I know,” Obi Wan interrupts, soft; understanding. “I wasn’t sure I should come back,” he admits, remorse floating around his words (whether for having felt that way or because he knows it’ll hurt you, you don’t know) and you quickly face forward, meeting Anakin’s hurt eyes that most likely mirror yours, “but the firm has offered me a promotion and Anakin managed to convince me to test it out.”
You release a shuddering sigh, you had a feeling he knew.
Now it’s Anakin’s turn to quickly look away from you (you can’t help but wonder if he saw the hint of betrayal beginning to bubble in the pit of your stomach), only to be trapped by his lovely wife’s. Once more, he breaks contact and stares down at the plate in front of him instead.
“I’m sorry,” Obi Wan starts after a brief tense silence, “if I had known you weren’t aware I wouldn’t have—“
“We’re glad you’re back, Obi Wan,” Padmé interjects, a soft, lovely smile on her face—always so good with people, “for however long you wish to stay.” Although you know she means it, there’s still some hesitation in her words as her gaze flickers between you and him.
“Yes,” you find yourself saying, somehow managing to keep your voice leveled through it, “we’re glad you’re back.” And just like Padme, you know you mean it too, even if there’s a hint of hesitation in the way your eyes won’t meet Obi Wan’s gaze as you say it, focusing instead on the bridge of his nose.
You think he knows it too with the way his hands resting on the table roll inward, an uncomfortable veil beginning to fester as he keeps quiet, eyes drooping and the corner of his lips pulling down.
“Auntie,” Leia whispers, breaking the tension, from across the table and you hum, turning to face her with a wavering smile, “may I please have your piece of roast if you’re not going to eat it? It’s getting cold.”
You blink, and you’re sure everyone else is just as surprised as you are by her words—it’s such a little Leia thing to say, but at this moment? None of you were expecting it, and so, when you erupt into laughter, the room does too, the shock wearing off.
Leia looks around at the adults and she and Luke share a look before shrugging. She murmurs about roasts and perfectly good meat, and you shake your head as your laughter begins to die down.
“You can have it, honey.”
“Sweet!” Her eyes brighten and she grins, immediately digging into the piece of roast you’ve set on her plate.
Tumblr media
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” Anakin whispers into the quiet space between you; the two of you staring out into the living room from the kitchen, leaning back onto the island.
It doesn’t surprise you that Obi Wan somehow manages to get the twins to warm up to him—Leia on his right and Luke on his left, the scrapbook you gifted them last year filled with Polaroid pictures of constellations opened on Obi Wan’s lap. He’s always been particularly good with kids, a trait he must’ve inherited from Gui Gon, who had an immense patience for teaching little ones how to play the piano and guitar.
Padmé sits with them too, keeping their attention away from you and Anakin and the inevitable arguing that might occur.
“This is Cetus!” you hear Luke point out.
“It’s our favorite ‘cause it’s a sea monster!” Leia informs him giddily, leaning forward to trace the stars to form the shape. “And this is And—Andromeda! It’s our Auntie’s favorite.”
“Is that right? It happens to be my favorite too.” Obi Wan glances over his shoulder, his eyes meeting yours for a split second—and you refuse to unravel the mess of emotions swirling in your stomach from that simple glance—before returning his attention back to the eager children, voice lilting. “Which one is this one?”
“It doesn’t matter anymore.” You cup your cheek, the other holding your elbow to keep it perched—but it does matter. It very much matters that Anakin knew and kept it from you, blindsiding you completely. If you had known—if you had known you wouldn’t have come. You could’ve mentally prepared yourself for his reappearance in your lives. But instead you got punched in the gut. “He’s here now.” 
“I wanted to tell you,” he rushes to admit. “But I—when he told me he would visit—try out that new job, I didn’t think he actually would.” Anakin crosses his arms over his chest, eyes downcast and focused on his crossed ankles. “He’s done this before, you know?”
Your head snaps in his direction—this is the first you’ve ever heard about it.
“Once after your 21st birthday and another after Din and you broke up.” Anakin lets out a frustrated sigh and the hand that had been cupping your cheeks curls into a tight fist. “I wanted to surprise you, so I didn’t tell you. But he always called the night before to say he couldn’t make it. Some surprise, huh?”
“Anakin…” 
“I thought—I don’t know what I thought, to be honest.” He laughed self-deprecatingly and you squeeze his forearm. “I just hoped he would. I’m sorry”
“I’ll get over it, Ani,” you promise him, soft, the hurt and betrayal you felt dissipating like wisps of smoke. “I understand why you didn’t tell me.” He tries to smile at you, but fails. “I’m glad he’s back, really, I meant it when I said it… but—“
“It hurts,” he finishes for you, sympathy and understanding laced in those two words.
“Always.”
“Do you know which one is this one Uncl’Obi?” Leia asks.
“Mama, knows it,” Luke follows.
“Does she? Care to give me a hint?”
“That'd be cheating.” Padmé laughs.
“No cheaters here,” Leia agrees, nodding her head with each word.
“Oh, fine. Let’s see…” Obi Wan chuckles, his hand coming up to his chin to rub the growing stubble, exaggerating his thinking. “Is it… a Bantha?” The kids giggle and shake their heads. “No? Hm. Then… is it… ah! I know—Pegasus?”
“Yes!”
You fight back a smile, pressing your lips together as the twins begin to tell him the story of Pegasus, not telling it correctly, but Obi Wan is enraptured by their animated story telling nonetheless. 
“We have to tell him,” Anakin whispers, breaking the silence, and while he doesn’t reference who has to know and what they have to know, you know exactly what he’s insinuating and you don’t agree.
“No.”
He exasperates your name, hands falling to his side as he fully turns to you. “He deserves—“
“I said no, Anakin,” you spit, breath coming out harshly. His blue eyes widen and they flash with hurt. You close your eyes, steadying your breath and calming your racing heart—cursing yourself. “He doesn’t need to know,” you repeat, softer this time. “He’s not going to stay long enough for it and even if he were, he’ll want nothing to do with it.”
“You do know best.” Anakin’s eyes have always been much more expressive than yours or Padmé’s or even Obi Wan’s—always giving away how he truly feels even though his mouth and the words that come out of it say otherwise.
“That’s—Anakin. That’s not fair. Remember last time we tried telling him when—“
“Satine had just passed away,” Anakin iterates, eyes softening when your eyes begin to well up—you swallow harshly. “It was still so fresh in his mind that he couldn’t think of honoring—“ He sighs, stopping himself from saying Qui Gon’s name. “Maybe now will be different.”
His eyes, as soft as they are, challenge you, refusing to crumble under your glare, they’re asking you to give in, to please, tell him. You shouldn’t give in, for your sake and Obi Wan’s, but the longer he looks at you with those eyes of his, you let out a reluctant sigh. “Okay.” You move away from the kitchen’s island and head towards the archway leading to the living room. “But you tell him. I have to get going.”
“I can do that.” You look back at him and find him smiling at you, thankful and relieved. You return it, albeit weakly, but he appreciates the effort. “We’ll talk about preparations another day, okay?”
You’ll probably have to talk about more than preparations later, but you don’t tell him that; instead, you nod and exit the kitchen.
Padmé, noticing your return, turns to you and studies you carefully. “Everything okay?”
Obi Wan also turns to look at you—the children’s current story falling on deaf ears—but you keep your gaze on Padmé.
“Yeah, everything’s fine,” you assure her, “but I have to head out.”
The twins hear that and immediately a chorus of “aww” and “why, Auntie?”, “can’t you stay?”, “sleepover!” begin to take over—their words wrestling over one another to be heard and you laugh, crouching down and opening your arms wide for them to run into. They do without hesitation, practically climbing over Obi Wan and Padmé to do so.
“I’m sorry, my little stars, I have to get up early for work tomorrow.” Pulling away from their little arms, you hold your pinkies out for them. “Next time I come over, we’ll have a movie night. Deal?”
“Deal!” They readily agree, hooking their pinkies with yours.
“And you’ll bring Uncle Din and Baby?” Luke whispers, low enough for only you and Leia to hear.
“Promise,” you whisper back.
Shaking their pinkies one last time, you stand up and begin your goodbyes, hugging Padmé tightly.
“Call me when you get home safely, okay?” she says, warmth in her words. 
“I will.” You linger in her arms longer than necessary, your heart beating in your chest harshly and rapidly, hesitant and afraid of saying goodbye to Obi Wan. But you finally pull away, you can’t be rude and leave him hanging. 
“May I… walk you to your car?” Obi Wan asks you, blue eyes wavering ever so slight my when you meet his gaze head on. 
A part of you wants to say no, but an even bigger part of you—the part that completely and utterly missed him—convinces you to agree. “I’d appreciate it.”
Anakin’s eyebrows furrow as he hands you your jacket and purse, and you smile at him, telling him it’s all right. It’s really not, you’d rather be able to breath for a moment and then think about Obi Wan later, but it’s too late now.
Obi Wan says something to the family of four as you slip on your jacket—“I’ll be back,” you assume. He grabs his own jacket from the coat rack and zips himself up, following after you as you walk out into the evening’s cold air.
“Did you park very far?” he asks you and you shake your head, walking down the stone path Anakin and Padmé installed earlier this year.
“Just down there.”
“Oh.”
“Yes.”
It’s a quiet walk, not an uncomfortable one, but you can’t say it’s comfortable either—it just is? Like many things just are. Will it always be like this now?
You hope not, because this quietness is not you and Obi Wan.
“This is it.” You step to the side of the driver, pressing the unlock button once and open the door. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, my dear.” Obi Wan moves to close the door for you, but you don’t move to sit and he just stands there in front of you, holding your door. “I wish you a Goodnight and—and I’m glad I got to see you.”
Goodbye, Obi Wan. The words catch in your throat, your mouth parted, waiting for the words to escape, but you can’t bring yourself to say goodbye—what if this is the last time I see you, again?
“Darling?”
Your eyes find his even in the low lighting of the street—blue eyes shining brighter than the celestial sea. There are permanent lines around his eyes now—little crow feet that weren’t there last time he stood in front of you—and you reach for them with shaky hands and he closes his eyes when your thumb runs over them—gentle and tender, caressing.
He delicately hold your wrists, his thumbs running over your pulse, soothing and all too caring—thump. thUMP. THUmp. steady. familiar. alive.
It’s too much. It’s too much that you can’t help the welling of tears or the way your throat croaks when you call his name. 
Blue eyes re-emerge, red rimmed and devastating and it takes you only a second—a second of bright stars and flashing satellites, and airplanes landing—for you to collide against each other—faces hiding in hair and shoulder—wet words murmured over each other and tangling in vines so deep like the flowers that once grew on a beautiful white fence—hands wrapped tightly around each other.
“I’m so sorry, darling. I’m so sorry.” “I’ve missed you, I’ve missed you so much.” “Please don’t let go.” “I will never let you go. Never again.”
Tumblr media
You stare up at the house, well kept and pristine. The roses, however, are dying, their season soon to be over. But even in their last moments, they cling to their own beauty just for a little while longer.
“Resilient little things,” Qui Gon used to say. “Just like the heart. We tend to forget it’s a delicate thing, prone to hurting and breaking—even wilting, but much stronger than we give it credit.”
With the lingering warmth of Obi Wan’s arms and words encasing you, you turn back around and get in your car, driving away from the place that has been your home for the last few years.
Hopefully, Din will take you in for the night.
next
95 notes · View notes
siennahrobek · 3 years
Text
Obi-Wan could smell it before he even thought of lowering his shields enough to feel it. It is the tangy and coppery smell of blood. The Temple is drenched in it and even though it no longer flows, he can nearly see it flowing down the columns and steps, once beautiful and magnificent. Once home. There is fire and blood, smoke that fills his lungs until he feels he can no longer breathe.
There are corpses everywhere he turns, he cannot escape the sight. The clones had not done anything with the bodies, they had just shot elderly, sick, teachers, children and younglings, in the back and moved on to shoot another and another and another. His stomach was rolling in continuous waves and his feelings are nothing but nauseous.
He has seen many battles, many fields strewn with bodies of both the enemy and the innocent. Has seen his own men across these fields, fighting to protect those who cared very little for them. Fighting and dying in defense of the innocence on the planet they happened to be on, shielding them from mortars and blaster fire. Countless shot, blasted, crushed, ripped apart, fallen. There are few horrors he has not seen and witnessed.
But it has been many years since he last witnessed a place so soaked with the demise of so many children. But this time, this time, there is no one left to keep on.
*
Obi-Wan is drifting. Drifting through the halls, an aimless and futile search for survivors. The clones are good at what they do, battle and war. They carry their orders well. They do not leave survivors. They never left a single droid unbroken and operational on the countless battles he has fought alongside them with. He does not understand. He thinks he never will.
It does not escape his eye, however, that some bodies did not sport the death wounds of blaster shots. Many had been beheaded or relieved of any number of limbs. The cauterized wounds a lightsaber makes.
Someone led the troopers into the Temple, someone they trust and someone the younglings thought they could trust.
A jedi.
There was yet, another traitor.
Obi-Wan travels deeper and deeper, letting his feelings guide him. There is nothing left, he finds, only the feelings of horror and betrayal lingering. The oppressing cold of the dark side. It screamed at him, a mournful wail. Perhaps it is suitable, he thinks, if he died here, if he wandered so deep, became so lost, he could not return. The thought it almost appealing, he thinks, because this must be what his destiny is. Something so lonely and terrible that only he would survive it, because, in the end, for some reason he cannot fathom, he is the one who continues to stand, continues to survive. He is nearly to his knees, leaning against a cold stone wall when he hears it and in the beginning, he is not entirely sure that it is not his brain playing tricks upon him. Because if the sound is true and real, nothing would be the same. A hushed sound brings him back to his senses and he reaches out, hesitantly, carefully. Something reaches back. That sound changes his life.
*
There are survivors. A gaggle of children huddling behind a clone with askew armor and a lightning scar over his head. A tiny horned head pops over the top of it, little hands gripping the armor and eyes wide with curiosity. The clone went to cover it but upon the younglings cry of joy at the sight of the jedi master, his shoulders roll and with the motion, so does the tension. He somehow expects a battle, an enemy. Obi-Wan can relate.
Firework, the trooper supplies. Obi-Wan doesn’t recognize him and the clone barely knows who Obi-Wan is either. As the younglings cry and try to grab hold of the jedi they know, Firework spill out. He does not understand what is happening. He knows about as much as Obi-Wan does. He does not understand why his brother have done something so awful, so cruel, so out of character.
He thinks something must be wrong. Obi-Wan isn’t sure he can think about it right now, so he does not. He just stares at what is left, down at the bodies that are wriggling to get close to his presence, as if he can offer them some amount of safety. He is uncertain what he is able to offer. Out of ten thousand, it is not much, but it is something. It is everything.
It is hope.
He leads them to the communications and information hub for answers, for something else. He contacts Bail Organa on the way, his only known ally, and requests for a bigger ship. They have more cargo to smuggle now. The senator seemed relieved at the prospect. Firewok glances at him, cautiously. He doesn’t know who to trust, especially when it comes to the government, to the senate. Obi-Wan can relate.
He relays a message to any surviving jedi to not return to the Temple.
The darkness and tyranny has risen, the Republic, fallen.
That time is gone and passed. A future that is uncertain, no longer safe.
There will be challenges, trust, faith, friendships.
There will be a new hope, he assures.
He really does not know who he is trying to convince. The children listen, quiet and attentive but once he is done, all of the questions bombard him. What is happening Master Kenobi? Where will we go? Why are our loved ones dead? Why are our loved ones killing us?
He does not have the answers for them.
Instead, he directs Firework to lead the children out of the Temple, sneakily and quietly and away, as Bail’s awaiting ship approaches to take them far from this place. He tells him there is something, one other thing, he must do, and he will catch up for certain. There are security tapes near everywhere and he has accessed them. He must know.
“It will only bring you pain,” a voice, a little Tholothian youngling, declares, her voice mournful and sympathetic, but it is too late. The recording plays and his heart twists, his chest lumps together and he can no longer breathe. Because, of course, he knows that face. He knows that face, but he does not recognize those eyes. Those yellow eyes.
Anakin.
He doesn’t refute it. Not with a youngling around. Not when she witnessed the horror. Who is he to question her trauma, just because he does not want to believe it? Perhaps, if she had not been there, he would have muttered denials. Because it seemed impossible. Anakin was capable of a great many things, but he never would have thought that he would slaughter children. Not this.
He doesn’t say anything else on the matter. He just stares as his beloved apprentice, his beloved brother, kneels at the feet of a Sith Lord, declaring himself and pledging himself to the Master. Anakin was always so concerned about becoming a slave to anything, Obi-Wan supposed the young one hadn’t realized he had just walked into it willingly. “You must go with the others,” he says instead, his voice cracking and somehow, it has become hoarse. Unusual, considering he has not been screaming or crying or even talking that much as of late.
“You must come with me,” she replies instead.
“There is someone I must warn,” he counters, the words coming out of his mouth before his brain can catch up. Somehow, he knows who he must warn but he wants nothing to do with it, not really. She will not believe him.
“You can call her,” she adds, patiently. He wonders if she knows who he is thinking of. She almost acts as though she does and perhaps it is true. They had never been one for subtly. Anyone could know rather easily. “There is no one else we can trust. Please.”
He nods but his mind is full. How can he not? “I apologize for my inadequate behavior,” he says in express regret, tone quiet and subdued. She takes his hand, curling her fingers around his larger one, and starts to lead him away from the recording, playing on a loop. It will stop automatically in a few minutes; he realizes but he cannot summon the strength to turn it off. He can hear a few sounds, but little else from it. “I do not know what I am thinking.”
“It is okay,” she assures, squeezing his hand, gently. The touch grounds him, brings him back to the present. He is tired, he knows, but not enough to cease action, not enough to stop moving forward. “But you survived. You are everyone’s best hope to survive too,” she points out, shuffling closer to his side. “Our only hope. Help us.”
“I have survived,” he agrees, although his voice is rather bland. He isn’t sure exactly what she is saying he has survived. It could be any number of things. Conflict, war, pain, death. He still wonders why him, out of all people, all beings, that keeps surviving these things. But then again, he does know, doesn’t he?
Infinite sadness, a nonexistent wind whispers.
Right, he thinks. He hadn’t lost everything yet. He has not yet become a near powerless, lonely old man in the desert.
Life had more to take.
Firework had been on the verge of absolute panic upon discovering the youngling’s absence when they got to the docked ship. All of them were aboard and he appeared ready to dive back into the horror scene that was once their home. Obi-Wan nearly could swear the clone nearly fainted in his relieved sigh when he saw the two of them, hand in hand, approach the ship. Bail had a rather large air craft waiting for them to rendezvous with. No one knew what would happen know and they looked to Obi-Wan for answers.
How could he tell them that he didn’t have any? Not one?
Obi-Wan, after getting the children to sleep, called Padme. It isn’t a pleasant conversation, and it drags out, no matter how many times he tries to excuse himself. She has questions. And once again, he does not have answers. He warns her of Anakin, of what he has done and what he could do. She does not believe him. But there is something there that she does know, he just can’t read it through the call. He lacks surprise at her disbelief, she is even more blind to Anakin’s faults than he is, apparently.
But Obi-Wan knows the truth. He just cannot convince her of it. He suggests she get help, a lot and fast, if she wants to survive her pregnancy – the jedi cannot help her now. This she is surprised by although Obi-Wan doesn’t know which part. Is she surprised that he knows about her pregnancy, or did she not believe the jedi would have helped her? It does very little to matter.
They are gone.
He musters all his sympathy.
But everything falls away when a little mirialan youngling comes to him for comfort. The child is scared and unsure and does not want to frighten anyone else with his own fear. He wants to be strong for them, to help Obi-Wan and Firework in what way he can. He tells Obi-Wan this, staring up at him with dark eyes, green skin flush but determined and steadfast. Obi-Wan just stares, his eyes and gaze softening; everything about him tempering. Because at this point, he has no lost everything, not as of yet. He still has something to hold onto, something to live for, to love and cherish and protect. And he will, the jedi vows.
Obi-Wan’s resolve strengthens to near nothing he has felt before. It is invigorating somehow. His arms lose the ache of use to hold the child to his chest with warmth coursing through the surface of his skin. His heart intensifies, beating in time with the youngling’s own. He feels it, so does the child. They stare. The soreness in his legs cease significantly, as the will to lift him up continues to rise. He no longer feels the need to collapse, his legs no longer feel like they will collapse underneath him, unable to support his weight. Because now, he can support the weight of them all. He will continue
He will continue until he has nothing left. Until his bones crack and shatter, until he can physically no longer stand or sit or go gone. Until his heart gives out and his mind can take no more. Until he can no longer see with his eyes, see with his senses, see at all. Until he can no longer smell or taste or touch. Until he can no longer sense, danger, the force, the love and care that they have for him, and he has for them. Until his memory is long gone, and he cannot remember even how to breathe. Until he can no longer teach and protect and love. And then he will continue, beyond, still.
None of it mattered because he will continue, always, consistently, never with falter. There will be no giving up. If only for them. His love is not finite, and they will know it, he vows.
*
Somehow, someway, they end up in the medical facilities on Polis Massa as if they are meant to be there. Perhaps it was the senator’s droids that contact them, maybe it was the will of the force guiding them, perhaps it was even just plain coincidence. He does not know. But standing over her, surrounded by jedi survivors, jedi children, trying to keep her from dying, while holding her two bundles of light, he does not remember how they got here. And of course, as it all comes to be, he does not care much either.
They are beautiful.
And his jedi children, his strong and incredible jedi survivors, were trying so hard to keep Padme alive. They pull and pull, no matter how much she tries to withdraw. Obi-Wan does not know what she saw or what happened when she went after Anakin and confronted him, in any capacity. He cannot imagine that it had been good or productive, especially considering the state she is in and her lover’s absence. But she could not be so selfish to give up her life because of him, because of one man that gave up everything else in hatred and power, not when she had two innocent babies that needed her. He would not let her. She may not have cared for the genocide and murder of his people and his children, but Luke and Leia are two that are hers.
In the end, they do keep her alive but do not know when she will awaken. The doctors say she is exhausted and weak and needs a lot of time to regain her strength, if she is even capable of it at all. Obi-Wan nearly wonders why, a little, because how can she be so exhausted and weak, so ready to give up when she knows, when she knows that she has children depending on her. But, in the end, he supposes, it does not matter. What is done is done.
He gathers up his gaggle of younglings in his arms and praises them for their good work. He tells them how good jedi they are, and he is infinitely proud. He will always be infinitely proud. They beam and love and he just wants to bask in their light forever. After everything they had been through, the intense horror of their people’s genocide, they are still so light, so strong and so remarkable.
They are amazing.
Bail himself eventually makes his way to them soon after. From then on, it is just them who does most of the planning. Bail seems to be the Jedi’s nearly only ally as of currently, at this point. The war had done a number on them, the propaganda, even more so. But it is the new emperor’s statements and rise that really seals the jedi’s fate once and for all, at least, for now. They believe him, somehow. They all believe that the jedi are traitors, that they are evil, power hungry monsters. That their children deserved to be slaughtered in their beds. Never before has Obi-Wan wanted to truly commit to a move of sai tok on a person.
Ideas are bounced off between the two of them, as they search, as they plan. One thing is for sure – the Empire cannot continue to stand. They talk about what is next for them, for Obi-Wan and the younglings. Bail offers to take Padme, to their healers and doctors so she can rest and heal. For now, he can hide her away until she awakens and can make a choice on what she would like to do next. He offers to take Luke and Leia to raise as their own until Padme can do it herself and Obi-Wan hesitates.
It is not that he does not trust Bail, he thinks, especially after this, Bail is one of the few that he continues to trust, continues to in a galaxy where everything and everyone is against him and his people. He has no doubt that Bail and his beautiful wife would do a magnificent job raising children, even ones such as them. He knows Bail well and he has come to know Breha as well. They are quite wonderful people that he will continue to care for. But Luke and Leia are highly force sensitive. One could be hidden perhaps, quite easily even, but the two of them were bound to feed off one another’s emotions as they grew, eventually. They are twin suns.
In the end, somehow, he relents. They negotiate and compromise and once more, perhaps it helps that Bail can and is willing to hide all of them away. It helps that he is willing to hide them in the mysterious and remote mountains of his home planet, a place to treacherous to travel, it would be likely that only a jedi could really find passage. It may be right under the emperor’s nose but Obi-Wan has a feeling that this can work.
He is right.
It helps that Bail makes it clear that he will continue to help them.
They leave the medical facility quickly, in fear of who may chase after them, but their talks continue. He plans to start work in the senate, in the government, in the galaxy, immediately. He, Padme, and several others had already started a movement before this had happened, that could be turned into something of a rebellion. It would be slow coming, but it will come.
Bail nearly has a heart attack at the sight of Firework when he and Obi-Wan go into the ship with the younglings. He was nearly killed by clones when he had stopped at the Temple the first time, in the midst of the genocide. He was saved by a padawan. But after a conversation, it is agreed – there is something horribly wrong with the clones. No one is certain that what has happened to them is their fault. Bail promises them, he promises Firework, holding his hand to secure his words and his vow, to look into the issue. Perhaps kidnap a few to test and understand what can compel them to turn on the jedi. A few out of millions would hardly be amiss, Bail says. Little does Obi-Wan know at that point, Bail is already scheming to steal the 212th Attack Battalion back for him.
Breha is as kind and beautiful and strong and amazing as always. She is more determined and steadfast as ever in her support of Obi-Wan and his people and somehow, someway, has already started searches out for any surviving Jedi, to find them and bring them to their new home. He presents her the twins of Luke and Leia, and she tries not to fall in love with them immediately. She probably does not succeed, as Obi-Wan had not succeeded either.
She promises to do all the things Obi-Wan recommends when it comes to rearing the children so sensitive to the Force and tells him he can visit whenever he wants or needs. She even tells him she will bring him to their new home and place when he would request. She is willing to do virtually anything for the betterment of these children, Obi-Wan realizes and even questions about keeping them together and not with others of their kind. He offers her a few reading materials and some tips. She gives him the most secure comm link that is around for the two of them.
The trip to their mountain hideout is as treacherous and dangerous as Bail had warned him, but in the end, being a jedi was nearly the only way to get there without getting themselves killed. And Obi-Wan was right, it was the perfect place to hide away from the Empire. Alderaan itself might be close and suspicious in the Empire’s purview but not only was this place, carved deep into a mountain so remote and difficult to find, it hid them away, physically and spiritually.
It would need some cleaning up, but it was mostly untouched for however long it had been since the ancients had left it or died out. It was beautiful and although everyone is a little hesitant, he thinks and they think, they can somehow, someway, eventually call it home.
They stand in the grand fall after the third entrance, where the walls swallow and the ceiling reach high up, held together by study columns. They are all holding one another. The littlest ones in the adult’s arms and tucked against their chests, the others holding hands tightly, as if they release one another, they will disappear forever.
And then, it is just a lone jedi master, a single clone, and a gaggle of children.
And until the Empire was dead and gone, until the people in power no longer thought of his people as traitors, monsters, and evil ones, they are forced to run and hide.
12 notes · View notes
padawanlost · 4 years
Note
Pt. 1: Do you remember the politics episode with Ahsoka, Padme, and Mina (and briefly Anakin)? When Ahsoka asks Anakin about the politics of the Clone Wars, he replies by telling her that the Separatists find the Republic corrupt, so they left, but they’re wrong, so it’s up to the Jedi and the clones to bring them back. (I can’t fit my whole ask in here so I’ll put another if that’s ok)
Idk if this is an OOC moment or not, because on one hand I feel Anakin would have problems with the Republic because of how it lets things like slavery in the outer rim thrive. That’s why in the picnic scene in AOTC he talks about how the system isn’t working, progress isn’t being made, etc. On the other hand, maybe he’s just blinded by people like Padme and Chancellor Palpatine being in the Senate and not paying attention to the intricacies of the political situation because he hates politics? 
I think Anakin’s behavior on that particular situation is a mix of TCW trying to turn Anakin into an inept comic relief and Anakin’s own complex views on politics and loyalty.
Anakin *KNOWS* the Republic is not perfect.
I should have done it before now. Wasn’t that my other childhood dream? Become a Jedi and free the slaves. Instead I became a Jedi and let myself forget. Let them convince me that it’s not our job to remake the Republic. The Jedi were keepers of the peace, not legal enforcers. That was the Senate’s job. How many times had he been told that? He’d lost count. But the Senate was falling down on the job, wasn’t it? What was the use of having anti-slavery laws if the barves who broke them never paid for their crimes? It was enough to shake his hard-won and harder-kept faith. If scum like Watto and Jabba and the other Hutts kept on making their fat profits on the backs of living property—and if the Senate continued to turn a blind eye—how could anyone believe in the Republic? How could he? Padmé says she understands, but she hasn’t pushed for a Senate hearing. And Palpatine—he’s promised he’ll tackle the problem but nothing’s been done. It’s too political. Too corrupt. Too complicated. There are credits in slavery—and credits trump justice. Always have. Always will. And the Jedi? They didn’t want to get involved. Even Qui-Gon …[Karen Miller. Star Wars: Clone Wars Gambit: Stealth]
But he’s also loyal, extremely loyal.
“For Anakin,” Obi-Wan said at length, “there is nothing more important than friendship. He is the most loyal man I have ever met—loyal beyond reason, in fact. Despite all I have tried to teach him about the sacrifices that are the heart of being a Jedi, he—he will never, I think, truly understand.” He looked over at Yoda. “Master Yoda, you and I have been close since I was a boy. An infant. Yet if ending this war one week sooner—one day sooner—were to require that I sacrifice your life, you know I would.” 
“As you should,” Yoda said. “As I would yours, young Obi-Wan. As any Jedi would any other, in the cause of peace.” 
“Any Jedi,” Obi-Wan said, “except Anakin.” 
Yoda and Mace exchanged glances, both thoughtfully grim. Obi-Wan guessed they were remembering the times Anakin had violated orders—the times he had put at risk entire operations, the lives of thousands, the control of whole planetary systems—to save a friend. More than once, in fact, to save Obi-Wan. 
“I think,” Obi-Wan said carefully, “that abstractions like peace don’t mean much to him. He’s loyal to people, not to principles. And he expects loyalty in return. He will stop at nothing to save me, for example, because he thinks I would do the same for him.” [Matthew Stover. Revenge of the Sith]
I guess we could say it’s cognitive dissonance. Anakin knows the Republic is broken but he’s also fighting a war to protect the people he so desperately wants to save. So he can’t allow himself to dwell to often on the political intricacies of the war.
Unlike most, I don’t see Anakin as this politically inept being without a single original thought. Anakin is brilliant, and he knows how the Republic is failing people (especially on the Outer Rim). But he also loves the people defending the Republic and knows that turning his back to it would mean turning his back on them, and that’s something Anakin is utterly incapable of doing.  Because of his trauma and his lackluster political education, Anakin can’t be rational about it. he doesn’t understand that he can recognize the Republic is deeply flawed at the same time he can fight to keep it alive.
To be fair, most people can’t grasp that politics is usually not an all or nothing game. That you can support someone at the same time you recognize they are not perfect, or you don’t even fully agree with them.
I think that scene is the result of people not fully understanding Anakin’s behavior during the picnic scene. I mean, it’s so easy to watch it from Padmé’s perspective and see nothing but a naive kid with authoritarian dreams. But once you put yourself in Anakin’s shoes it becomes easier to understand why a kid who grew up in slavery and poverty would want power to stripped from the elites in a desperate attempt to level the field and improve the lives of the disenfranchised.
I see TCW’s scene as a (dumbed down) attempt of turning Anakin’s complicated political views into an easier to understand, black and white comic relief moment.
119 notes · View notes
millers-planet · 3 years
Text
Concern - Obi-Wan x F!Reader
Storyline/ Prompt: we accept the love we think we deserve. (fic inspired loosely by that quote from perks of being a wallflower)
Warnings: angst, fluff, mentions of abusive relationships, SAPPY
POV: Obi-Wan’s
Word Count: ~2600
Tumblr media
I only saw her once every so often, usually when she was with Padmé, who was always with Anakin. She was never happy when she was with the senator, always crying or fixing herself up, I could only assume how she got them. She had the wrinkles of what use to be a happy person, with defined smile lines around her mouth and less-obvious forehead crinkles. However, I’ve never seen the infamous smile that must’ve caused these indents.
I picked up on her name only once, when Anakin was saying goodbye to the two ladies, “bye Padmé, Y/N.” From the second I heard her voice, I couldn’t stop thinking about what other things there was to know about her. Has she ever left Coruscant? What did she do for a living? How did she meet Padmé? Why was she always hiding bruises? I regretted every missed opportunity and chance I had to ask her these questions. She was a forbidden book, only because I knew she’d lead me down a road I couldn’t follow, not without breaking the rules I’ve sworn myself to.
These bruises haunted the echos of my thoughts. Poorly blended makeup over dark discoloration wasn’t hard to miss, especially when she was constantly trying to keep her hand on it. It wasn’t often that I saw her, but when I did, these were always a continuous look on her. I never understand why people treat precious material, precious literature that must have hundreds of stories to tell, so poorly.
While she is that locked book, this never stopped me from having small and meaningless conversation. There was one incident where she seemed happy, giving me an opening to meet her formally on a positive note. “Anakin, who’s this?” I looked at her briefly and smiled, sticking my hand out.
When she flinched at my arm moving toward her, I had to plaster a pokerface to prevent me from dropping to a concerned look. “This is Y/N, Padmé met her through the senate,” Anakin looked to her with a face that said ‘you can trust him’ which made her release a bit of tension. “Y/N, this is Obi-Wan Kenobi, he’s my Master.”
“Obi-Wan? That sounds familiar..” she eventually shook my hand and smiled as her face lit up with the answer, “General Kenobi!” She had a contagious laugh that came out gently and warm, I was finally able to see the infamous smile that has caused all of those wonderful smile-lines. Y/N seemed sweet and innocent, I would’ve believed she was this kind of person if I hadn’t seen her patch herself up so many times or if I hadn’t noticed the nearly fully healed bruised on her wrist. 
Padmé interrupted me as I was about to continue the conversation, “we should get going, there’s a meeting we’re going to be late for. It was great see you Obi-Wan.” She smiled when she looked at Anakin, “by Ani.” With that, she was gone, as quickly as she appeared. 
Ever since then I tried to figure out some way to get into a senate meeting with Anakin and Padmé, with the hope of seeing Y/N again. Of course, this was delusional behavior because, realistically, she could be nothing more than a fantasy... not even that. She would be trouble for me, I know I should cut things off fully with her, but part of me remained worried about her.
I began visiting at his chambers less in the morning, meaning I’d have a lower chance of running into her. This was rough at first, not only because Anakin lectured me over how he enjoyed walking to training with me, but also because the thoughts of her only intensified. I hoped that by decreasing the exposure risk of her, it’d lower this mindless obsession, but it’s only increased with curiosity about how she was doing and if she was okay.
The one time I did walk to Anakin’s chambers in the morning, Y/N was there, so was Padmé. The door had just a sliver of it open, just enough for sound to get through and enough for me to see her. She had fresh bandages on her arms and new bruises over herself, she was frantic as she cried to Padmé, “why am I still with him?”
“You need to leave him, Y/N, there is nothing good coming from this relationship.” The senator’s voice was pleading to the other politician, trying to make her realize the truth and side with reason.
Y/N swallowed down a sob as she continued on, “he said he was done with all of.... this! I believed him, too, because he didn’t for awhile, so I thought we got past it, only it was temporary.” I saw her figure stop and sit down on some bench or couch, touching her eyes to wipe away tears. “I wish I could just walk away, but it’s so much more complicated than that.”
Padmé’s voice broke from calm to persuasive with hints of anger, “but it’s not! Y/N, it is not that complicated. Pack you stuff, come move in with me, get out of there.” Her arm draped around her friend, “I’m more worried about you than ever.” 
There was a pause in the conversation before they continued onward, Y/N’s sighed and stood up, “no, Padmé, I can’t. There is too much at risk if I leave. If I go, there could be so many rumors started about where my priorities are at or other stupid things. But, we both know what gossip can do to someone.” I saw Y/N walk out of view, then a door opened and then closed after a second, it sounded like the bathroom.
“What was that all about?” It was Anakin. “Actually, tell me later, Obi-Wan is probably here. Bye.” He opened the door and swiftly closed it behind him, pushing a loose hair out of his face before smiling, “good morning, Master. I didn’t keep you waiting long, did I?”
I shook my head slightly before walking toward the training hall, “no, I got here only just a moment ago.” I shouldn’t ask about what just happened, though, what if she really is in danger? It’s not like it’s any of my business, though... “Early morning company?”
“Yeah, Padmé and Y/N came over again. She is going through a bit of a rough patch with her boyfriend, that’s all. When she wants to get away, her and Padmé come over to my chambers because-” Anakin caught himself as if he was about to say something he shouldn’t. “Because they know he won’t come searching near the Jedi area.”
Ever since then, not a moment passed by when she didn’t cross my thoughts. At night, I began romanticizing the idea of rescuing her, like some hero. I stir up dreams of following her back to her place and going to it when only her “lover” was home, just to show him a lesson. I have to remember, despite all this, that my job here is only to be a peacekeeper, but the idea of taking that forward step into this seems like the right answer.
When I was making pretend-scenarios of this rescue-op, I would imagine engaging in a conversation with her after I ran into her confessing the truths of her relationship to Padmé. I would generate possible starters of how I would ask her about all of this, possible things I would say to comfort her, or just all-around things to talk to her about. Maybe, instead of convincing her to just leave her boyfriend, I could convince her to leave him for me. 
No, that’s selfish. I can’t do that just because I like the idea of her, just because she’s what occupies my thoughts most of the days. There are so many rules I’m breaking just now, without even talking to her anymore. If I was wise, I would talk about this to Master Yoda. If I was wise, I would have Anakin talk to her for me because he would have a bigger chance of making any impact, since I’m only a General she knows nothing about.
To compromise with myself, I’ll be... somewhat oblivious. I’ll forget what I’ve heard and seen, only if it doesn’t come up again. I will quit all of these meaningless thoughts and daydreaming because they are doing me no good, but if I run into her crying in Anakin’s chambers more than often, I’ll engage in those conversation that should remain solely as a fantasy. Unfortunately, this is exactly what happened, three times in just a week.
It was the same conversation between Y/N and Padmé, only this time each of them was more emotional. I wasn’t able to hear anything other than, “Y/N, he is going to hurt you so bad you won’t recover, and I won’t know what to do.” This was the final straw, this has begun to spiral out of control and I need to step in, in some way.
Just at the perfect timing, Anakin came through the door. Before he could say good morning, as he usually does, I intervened. “I can’t pretend anymore that I’m blind to what’s going on between Y/N and her boyfriend. Anakin, what is happening? Why is she still with him?”
My padawan sighed as he guided us toward our usual walk, only slower. “They have been together for a few years, since they both began in the public sector of work. It wasn’t always like this, according to Padmé. They were both happy, for a long time, but ever since the trade issues began, the way she’s been treated has declined.” Anakin stopped talking and turned to face me, pulling me to the side, looking me head-on. “You can’t say anything about this, I’m technically not even supposed to know. Please, Obi-Wan, pretend this never happened.”
“Anakin, something has to be done, there has to be something we can do for her.” My voice was pleading, when I realized how concerned I sounded, I noticed how suspicious it was, as well, for me to be so concerned for a politician. “You know that if I could, I would leave this alone, but the conversations between Padmé and Y/N in the mornings have progressed so much. They’ve turned from conversations of advice to conversations of begging for reason,” my voice was firm and less emotional, making me seem more serious, hopefully.
He sighed and looked around, considering a response. “Do what you want, but you didn’t hear any of this from me. Talk to her tonight, she’ll be at my chambers again with Padmé, most likely.” I furrowed my brows together, in confusion. “It’s what’s been happening these past few nights, so it’s a possibility she’ll do it again. She leaves about 7 to go back home. Now, can we go?” I nodded and continued our normal regimen, only, my mind was galaxies away.
If she lives in her chambers, I could take the long way around to my chambers, then break off to head to Anakin’s, making me run into her. However, if she lives with her boyfriend in his room, then I’m out of luck. Though, if I take the main lobby, that increased the chance of our paths colliding, but it’d make it more public. I can’t walk back with Anakin because it’d be too obvious.
I need to clear my mind, I shouldn’t be trying to plan ahead like this, I will know what is right when the time calls for it. Whatever feels like the proper path will be the correct choice, but I can’t know what it is until then. If I’m going to talk to her tonight, I should have that clear head to make proper decisions. I’ll meditate until then, Anakin has his own tasks to do today, I believe he was meeting with the Chancellor. 
Pulling myself together as I sat down on an open spot with a nice view, I took deep breaths. My focus drifted away from all of these issues at hand and just drifted off. Everything relaxed, everything was still, and everything made sense again. I forget what really matters in this universe, and coming back to here makes it all better. I was in this state of meditation for a few hours, occasionally interrupted from loud distraction that were brief as I pulled myself back into concentration. When I was finally out, it was just a little before seven, giving me plenty of time to take that long route to my chambers.
I walked at a steady pace, not thinking ahead of the conversations we might have or of anything else, other than my destination. Keeping this clear mind will be fine, whatever happens, happens. Me overthinking does nothing to help, these past few hours has helped me realize that. The familiar hall designs pulled me from my zen state, I was in my hallway, with Y/N just a few feet down the hall. “Obi-Wan?” she called happily, picking up the pace to catch up to me.
The biggest smile spread across my face as those beautiful smile lines beamed right back at me, her bubbly aura flowing off of her. However, her body spoke a different energy, it cried out with pain and discomfort as the bruises stuck out like sore thumbs. “Hey, Y/N, right?” She nodded. “Are you alright, you look a little.... shaken up?”
She sighed shakily, she smile never leaving her face as she hesitantly rubbed her arm that was coated with markings. “Yeah, everything’s all good, how are you?” I pushed her hand down, off of her arm, revealing the dark welts once more. “Obi-Wan, please, don’t. I hear enough from Padmé.”
“I think we both know what needs to happen, I think we all know what is the best.” Her smile finally broke off of her face, her lip quivering. “You are so strong, Y/N, but there is so much love in you that’s being thrown away by wasting it on your boyfriend.” I put her chin between my thumb and index finger and pulled her weepy eyes to look at mine.
My hand instinctively moved up to her cheek, cupping it gently, she leaned into it, obviously comforted by it. “I don’t know how to do it, I feel like I’m throwing so many years of my life away.” She pulled away as she dried her tears, “I know there’s nothing left for me with him, but I can’t let go, there’s so many things I’m ruining by letting go.”
I sighed, “what was there was ruined long ago, Y/N.” She began tearing up as she heard what I said, not calling me out on it, obviously realizing what I said was true. “If you want, you can spend the night with me. You can come sleep on this tonight and do it tomorrow. Or, I’ll take you to him and you can do it now, then we can head back to my place.”
Her sniffles quickly ended as she wiped her sleeve on her nose, looking up to me with those watery eyes that just melted every bit of me. “Really?” I nodded. “Can we do it tonight? I know I won’t have the energy to face him tomorrow.”
“Of course we can, I’ll walk you there. You just go inside, make things quick, stay in there for as little as possible, you might just make things worse if you’re in there for awhile.” I saw her hands fidget and shake as I went on, just wanting to prepare her. “I’m right outside, though. If I hear anything, you won’t be alone.”
She nodded and began to lead the way. “Obi?”
“Yeah?”
Y/N ran herself into me and let out a built-up sigh, “thank you,” she spoke softly as she briefly wrapped her arms around me before moving forward.
tags: @blondekel77 @mysticdeerpolice @gabile18 
join the tag list!
74 notes · View notes
helbertinelli · 3 years
Note
I wanted to see the new Jedi Order AND the New Republic in the sequels. But no, instead we got A New Hope 2.0, Luke 2.0, and Darth Vader 2.0. This is so disappointing.
Yeah, the sequels were disappointing. There were so many better ways to continue the story of SW (although personally I think they shouldn’t have continued it), but they chose to go about it in the worst way possible. They had no idea why SW was loved and they focused on the absolute worst things and then switched to new things when the first thing didn’t work rather than to try to fix the thing that didn’t work.
Like they were for sure that people loved SW for Vader so they gave us a guy who wore a costume that looked similar to Vader’s, but the character himself had no personality, he had some lame motivation to join the dark side, and he wanted nothing more than to stay evil. People didn’t like Kylo and then they were like okay, well Palpatine was in all 6 films, they have to like him. And then they brought back Palaptine.
But they missed the fact that the people loved Star Wars for the story. That the characters in SW were just characters without the story to tie them all in.
Everyone loved Luke saving Vader and Vader wanting to be redeemed. The sequels tried that story with Rey and Kylo, but 1. There was no reason for Rey to want to save Kylo. He wasn’t her father, he had no relation to her other than the fact that he killed Han in front of her and he tortured her and her friends. 2. Kylo didn’t want redemption. Every time he was offered the chance to do something good he turned it down and it was like 2 or 3 times that this happened. Vader didn’t. Yes, he didn’t accept Luke’s help at first, but he did in the end. And after Palpatine died, Vader wasn’t like “Okay, I’m taking his place now. Join me or you’re nothing to me“ to Luke. Vader did want to rule the galaxy with Luke right after he found out he has a son, but he gave up on that and realized that he needs to come back to Luke rather than to have Luke joining him. He realized he needs to make the right decision because his son is important to him and he can’t lose his son. Rey wasn’t important for Kylo. She was literally no one to him. They had no relationship at all, except what Kylo said: “My grandfather worked for your grandfather so we’re a dyad” (I legit had to pause the movie because I couldn’t stop laughing... they even ripped off Space Balls omg). Maybe the sequels would have been better if the two were related (either siblings or cousins). But they were just strangers and Rey just decided one day that she wants to save Kylo for some reason and then she decided that she’ll go back to trying to kill him and they kinda switch back and forth between that and it’s just a complete mess and doesn’t even come close to the story of Luke redeeming Vader that they were trying to rip-off from the OT.
People loved Vader being mysterious and intimidating and they loved the idea of this powerful Sith lord wearing a mask (like the Sith of the Old Republic did). And the sequels tried to copy that aesthetic, but then they reveal Kylo’s face right away and he’s not intimidating at all and the whole mystery around his identity behind the mask goes away too. And his entire thing is to be whiny and throw a tantrum when things don’t go his way and destroy everything around him. I guess they were trying to copy Vader choking people with that, but the scary thing about Vader was that he would choke people but he’d put no energy into it and he’d stay calm and it was kinda unnerving how calm he was when he was choking the life out of someone. This is why Vader was intimidating and menacing. He didn’t lash out like a spoiled child and destroy his toys. He was in control even when he wasn’t and he was calm and made it seem like taking someone’s life was no issue to him.
Anakin’s backstory is loved by people. The way someone who was a Jedi and good became a Sith and took down the entire Jedi order and basically destroyed everything his world was about in the process was extremely complex and well-written and Anakin is somewhat of a sympathetic character because a lot of people can see that he made the wrong choices for all the right reasons (he just wanted to save his wife and their unborn child... children as we later find out). Kylo’s turn to the dark side is just he was contacted by Snoke, who whispered bad things to him about Luke, and for some reason Luke decided that the only way to deal with this is to for some reason kill Kylo in his sleep??? (yeah I also don’t understand why the guy who spent 3 movies trying to redeem Vader and refused to fight Vader and was about to let himself get killed by the Emperor because he was convinced his Sith lord father was actually good and would save him, is now like “You know, my nephew has to die. He can’t be redeemed.”). And then Kylo’s immediate reaction to this was to kill everyone else in Luke’s temple because I guess they also needed to rip-off Order 66 (out of all things that happened). Kylo isn’t sympathetic in this way because 1. He had a loving family and a good support system with Han and Leia and even Luke to some extent. He wasn’t like Anakin who never had anyone to talk to and who had to keep his life a secret from the Jedi and who grew up a slave and who was desperate to save the only family he had left. Kylo’s life was good and they said it was good in the sequels too. 2. He got threatened by Luke and his very next choice is to go kill a bunch of innocent people. He never showed any ounce of remorse for his actions. At least with Anakin, we see that he’s torn apart when he’s pledging himself to Palpatine and he’s basically hurt and haunted by his actions starting from then on. Kylo just killed a bunch of people and he’s going around like “yep, just another Tuesday...“
And aside from just doing a bad rip-off of a story that was already presented in the same universe, they also messed up with other characters that were beloved.
Luke, who never gave up on his father and who even abandoned his training (I think) to go save his family, is now the guy who wanted to kill his nephew at the first sign of the dark side and then his solution was to leave his family behind and never see them again.
Han is a deadbeat dad who left his wife when things got hard and went away on a road trip with Chewie to avoid any responsibility.
Leia is always sad and she desperately wants to forgive Kylo (they basically gave her Padme’s personality for some reason, when she’s more like Anakin). Like I can see Han forgiving Kylo (because he does have a big heart despite his rugged exterior), but giving what we know about Leia’s character, she wouldn’t forgive Kylo. It took Leia a long time to come to terms with forgiving Anakin and she wouldn’t even talk to his Force Ghost when he came to apologize, even though she knew he’d never see him again. There’s no way that she sees Kylo basically turning into Vader 2.0 and she’s like “there’s still good in him.“ Like he destroyed an entire system of planets, that had to bring back some painful memories for Leia. She actually had to watch Alderaan be destroyed. And he killed Han. I know their relationship was ruined in TFA, but TFA also made it clear that Leia and Han were still in love. There’s no way she would have forgiven Kylo or thought he was still good after he killed his dad and her husband. And he tried to kill her too if I remember correctly. He fired on her ship, which made her float out into space. Leia isn’t like Luke or Padme. It would be difficult for her to forgive Kylo for basically turning into her worst nightmare and taking her family away from her and killing so many other people too.
And then they bring back Palpatine too because I’m guessing their thought process was “well he was in all 6 movies that people loved, we do need a good villain.“ And it made no sense. Palpatine died like twice in ROTJ. He got destroyed by the reactor that Vader threw him in and then the entire Death Star exploded into tiny particles. There was no way for the Death Star to be crash landed on Exegol since it basically blew up in all directions in the middle of nowhere in space. Bringing him back basically invalidated all of Anakin’s story because him dying to bring balance to the Force was for nothing. He didn’t balance anything, Palpatine was never defeated. They really didn’t need Palpatine to be the villain of TROS. You could replace him with any other random villain and nothing changes. They only brought him back to make a reference to the old movies and have people watch their movie for nostalgia. But I honestly don’t know who was nostalgic for Sheev.
Anyway, it’s embarrassing that they had a good story that they tried to rip-off and they still managed to fuck it up. Like how hard it is to rip-off Star Wars and still have a good story? Didn’t Disney actually accomplish it before in a Phineas and Ferb special? I don’t know why they couldn’t do it this time around too.
But for real, they should have showed the New Jedi Order and the New Republic and show us how Luke and Leia were changing the world for the better and how they were fighting to keep the world a better place rather than to give us a watered down version of the First Galatic Empire vs Rebels but with worse characters and a worse story this time around.
23 notes · View notes
nevertheless-moving · 3 years
Text
Suicidal Misunderstanding XI
Part I - - - - - Part II - - - - - Part III - - - - - Part IV - - - - - Part V - - - - - Part VI - - - - - Part VII - - - - - Part VIII - - - - - Part IX - - - - - Part X
Star Wars Time Travel AU #27
Anakin left his first ‘soul healing’ appointment feeling on edge. They hadn’t even discussed anything important! The healer mostly talked at him, giving him rules for future sessions. They had barely touched on the reason he was there, which was both a relief and slightly irritating. ...He was a little uncertain what to do with him time now. 
Obi-Wan hadn’t responded to him at all during his visit that morning, laying motionless in an apparently self-induced coma, and he wasn’t allowed to sit with him again until the evening. He wasn’t allowed to look at anything to do with the war until Mace cleared him. Returning to his and Obi-Wan’s quarter’s was still unthinkable, even though he knew he’d have to go back at some point before Ashoka landed on planet. 
The Chancellor had left him several messages inviting him for a visit, but he was dragging his feet, despite the serious temptation of an always comforting father-figure. The thought of actually seeing the man made him feel practically sick with anger and betrayal. Obi-Wan had been convinced that Palpatine was trying to tear them apart. And while Anakin didn’t quite believe that... he had told Obi-Wan about what he had done after his mother’s death. Maybe someday, when Obi-Wan was better, he would be able to believe it was all for the best, but for now...he was just angry. 
He hadn’t really been angry at the man before, and didn’t enjoy the sensation.
Padme had told him she would be working from home as much as possible the next few days. While he didn’t want to be an annoyance, there wasn’t really anyone else he could turn to for advice or comfort right now, and she seemed almost as desperate for the reassurance of his company as he was of hers...and the Master of the Order seemed to at least tolerate their relationship, even if he didn’t know all the details.
He arrived at her apartment and promptly collapsed on the couch. 
“Is it alright if I join you?” Padme asked softly. 
Anakin smiled at her. “More than alright”
She sat down. He shifted so she could lean against him comfortably.
“Do you want to talk right now, or should I do some paperwork?” she asked neutrally.
He groaned. “It’s- I’m not sure if I’m being immature. Should I go see Palpatine?”
She stiffened. “The Chancellor? I- I thought we had specifically agreed not to talk about him if we could help it. Have his politics started to bother you?” she asked dryly. 
He rolled his eyes. “No, I still believe he’s the best chance for ending the war quickly- you know my friendship with him is personal, not political.”
“This is a personal problem then. Does it...have something to do with Obi-Wan? Are you not supposed to tell him about- what happened?”
“No, I’m sure the council’s already informed him, he is the Chancellor, after all; they would have to tell him if a High General was out of commission,” he replied, a touch bitterly. 
“But it does have something to do with Obi-Wan,” she nudged.
“Yeah. It- he was the one who told Obi-Wan. About me. With the Raiders.” he ground out, suppressing a flash of anger.
“Oh. Oh! I didn’t realize he knew. He- had he urged you to tell Obi-Wan before?” she asked, slightly guilty.
“No!” Anakin snarled back. “He swore to keep it a secret, told me that my revenge was justified.”
“I’m sorry- the Chancellor of the Republic told you that what you did was justified? Padme sounded shocked and Anakin turned to her with wide eyes.
“Do you...you told me you understood...but...we’ve never really talked about it since it happened, have we?” He replied miserably. 
She pulled away, heart pounding. “Anakin...do you think what you did was justified?”
He looked down “At the time I told myself it was...but I don’t know. Even right after...I thought about the kids. You have no idea how much clearer everything seems when your channeling the force with anger even though afterwards...I told myself they were animals but...I...when I was talking to Obi-Wan I realized that...I think I was just scared that if the order ever found out I’d lose everything which made me angry...And the Chancellor agreed that animals sometimes needed to be put down...and you said you understood.” He looked up at her uncertain.
She let out a sigh of relief. Of course Anakin knew his action’s were wrong, if he was so torn up about it. She took his hands in hers, stroking softly. 
“Anakin...I know it’s not exactly the same, but I do understand wanting revenge. I helped personally liberate and clean up many of the trade federation camps. I buried the rotting corpses of my people, who I left to die- then returned back to my office to watch Nate Gunray get out on parole. If someone had handed me the power to kill every single Neimodian at the right moment-” She let out a breath, seething.
“But...no one did. I couldn’t have gotten revenge like that, even if I had wanted to. And now...gods Anakin, understanding why isn’t the same as saying it’s justified- I might still hate the trade federation, but that doesn’t mean that every Neimoidian is guilt of their crime, no matter my personal feelings. I really, truly don’t know what to say about the Chancellor telling you what he did, or keeping your secret, or breaking your trust.”
They sat in silence for a moment as he digested everything.
“I...think I get what you mean about separating out justifying and understanding. Maybe that’s what he meant, and I just wasn’t smart enough to realize what he was saying at the time. I want to ask him, but I’m still mad and... I just don’t want to lose my friend because I’m angry.” he finished unhappily.
She sighed, then pressed a delicate kiss to his cheek. 
“Then tell him that. Leave him a message. A friend would understand holding off a conversation while you’re upset. And a politician should certainly understand holding back your feelings so they don’t dictate your actions.” 
He smiled at her, “How did you get so wise?”
“I was a Queen, you know,” she replied haughtily.
“Oh a Queen, I hadn’t realized, do forgive my impertinence,” he said cheekily, pulling her closer. 
She pushed him back. “Message first. He’s almost certainly in a Senate committee meeting right now, it’s the perfect time.”
He relented. They briefly hashed out what he was going to say. Then she drifted to the other room while he pulled out his mobile official senatorial comm-link, biting his lip nervously.
Much to his dismay, the Chancellor picked up on the last ring, holo opening up.
“Anakin, my boy! So good to hear from you; I had been getting worried. How are you?
Steeling himself, Anakin launched into their prepared monologue.
“Chancellor, you of all people know that I struggle with anger; I’m trying to work on not allowing it to dictate how I act towards those I value. That being said, in the interest of preserving our friendship and until Obi-Wan is fully healed, I think it’s best we avoid unnecessary communications.”
“Anakin! I don’t-” Palpatine tried to reply, but Anakin cut him off.
“Thank you again for your understanding. I will of course diligently reply to any military or professional requests sent through the proper channels.”
Anakin closed the connection with a click, heart pounding. The comm immediately lit back-up.
“What do I do?” he asked Padme, feeling nauseous.
Was this the right choice? Surely his friend would understand. He didn’t want to yell at the Chancellor just because he was still working through Obi-Wan’s issues and his issues with Obi-Wan! Or was he just acting out of fear? Maybe the Chancellor could help.
He started to reach for the comm, but Padme snatched it from the table first. She threw it to the ground, delicately lifted the hem of her dress, then pierced it with the heel of her shoe. It stopped mid trill.
“Let’s go to bed.”
“I love you.” He replied, looking at her adoringly. 
“I know.”
Next (Part XII)
215 notes · View notes