#suicidal misunderstanding au | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

stargirl-writes · 5 months

Text

heal

pairing : f! reader x anakin skywalker

word count : 3.5 k

masterlist | ao3 link

summary

in which anakin skywalker chooses to run away with you before all is lost in mustafar.

tags : au, angst!!, hurt/no comfort

warnings : toxic love, dark fic, ptsd, and reader being so dependent on anakin, suicidal behavior

notes : my reader character being a healer is my self indulgent insert 😭

i've sat w this 4 so long cause i was like 'realistically, what would happen if anakin ran away?' and i think i've finally made up my mind abt it.

time is moving fast for this fic because i wanted to cover so much, so heads up for the skips!

ALSO, ear-ringing apologist perspective. if u can't handle reader being blind to faults, this is not for u haha!

likes, comments, and reblogs are highly appreciated!

Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future.

At least, it was something you want believed in.

The clone war that raged on revealed just how much people can be persuaded to do horrible things when their survival is at stake.

You underestimated that instinct yourself. The burning desperation to not lose your Anakin Skywalker. You thought, you would have killed for him, the way he would for you.

Obi-Wan Kenobi was the one to tell you how Anakin became irredeemable.

It was a blur how you flew to Mustafar despite it. You needed Anakin to admit to it, you needed to take him away from what he'll become.

The crimes he committed made you feel sick, septic like a festering wound.

But, whether you love what you love.

Or live in divided ceaseless revolt against it, what you love is your fate.

You've been so alone. So much so, you can only define a time with Anakin, and without him.

It was gradual. It couldn't have been some higher power that destined you to him, He had been a General of a war, and you, the Healer. It was all odds, that you fell in the right place at the wrong time.

An unwilling hero, and a glorified murderer.

He was crafted to be a tool in the war. Divinely created by the Force with the purpose of bringing balance. And in a war, that meant doing damage, killing.

Every victory he had was a stark contrast to yours.

Every life he takes, be it a droid or a separatist, is a win. And every life you lose is a name added to the long list of casualties.

You and Anakin were opposites.

So, the shock of it remains, because somehow along the way, Anakin loved you. And you loved him. You had each other to cling to.

The terror of What if it doesn't last, What if there's no one else? What happens if it goes back to being alone? persists.

And you might not belong anywhere else.

But you were his. As he is yours. Not in the manner of possession. Yours in the way of devotion.

Mine to tend to, mine to care for, mine to love.

You knew that Anakin's love was conditional. You were only the one in front of him. You didn't misunderstand. You let him use you anyway.

It's not like you were loving him unconditionally, it was because you were terrified to be lonely.

At least, in the beginning, you believed so.

Most days were occupied by your duties. And Anakin would love you in a way that is shaped like fingers wrapped around a throat. Incessant. Hungry. Teeth deep in possession. Making up for the little time, holding you against him as if he was bracing himself that someday you won't be around.

It felt like he was always saying goodbye.

So, though your heart was nearly breaking out of your ribs, you flew by yourself to Mustafar.

A pile of lifeless Separatist figures greeted you in horror.

It was true. Anakin had gone to the dark side. What he did with those children...

The fear consumed you like a corrosion, but still, you stood in front of him, begging him to come back.

Anakin had carried a deep malaise when you had found him. It was almost emanating from his blood-stained robe, a coldness, a deadly assurance.

"You're not supposed to be here," Anakin says in a strangled voice. His hands firmly holding your arms.

The color of his eyes startled you. It was like looking at a ghost, and all that was left was an unending rage. You fought to not let your fear swallow you.

"Anakin, we have to go" Your lips quivered, not entirely sure what you were planning.

There will never be escaping the things he's done.

You want him to go away with you, anyway.

Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future.

For a while, it was quiet. Anakin's glossy blue eyes were gazing at you, in conflict, and begging to be understood.

"I can't... Don't you see? I've restored justice to the galaxy" He abruptly lets go, and turns, concealing his face away from your sight. "The things I've done... I can't, there's no running away from it"

The guilt he feels leads him to think that the only path now is through the one he sacrificed his morality for.

"No," you struggled, voice failing to hide your anguish. "Anakin, you can't let this be your fate. Run away with me." You pleaded, eyes filled with tears.

A life of loneliness. With no one, the way it used to.

Then, Anakin half turns. He surveys your willingness to take him as he is. Maybe, even wanting to believe it.

You have always loved Anakin, even the parts you have not understood.

Perhaps, this was the similarity that bound you together. Burning devotion. One that allows you to see past your moral code.

You gave so much to the war. You'd run yourself spent from the hours. You fought so hard to keep people from dying. You'd never taken anything but this. A chance at life. Away from it all.

"I would've done anything you asked of me" His voice reveals his devastation.

You stepped forward, "Then come with me, Leave it all behind, I need you"

You held your breath, half convinced that this may very much be the end of things.

But Anakin takes your hand, and you don't waste a minute more to take him away in your ship.

Your hands shook the entire time.

The galaxy was silent when the war ended.

Mace Windu's attempt to assassinate the Chancellor made the Jedi an enemy of the Empire.

It triggered an Order that made clone soldiers turn against their Generals. The Jedi are hunted down for treason.

You and Anakin will never find security again.

The atmosphere was thick with emotions that were strained by the abruptness of events. It was making it so much harder to breathe. To live with the truth of it.

All three years of the war are reduced to two moments; Anakin falling into Palpatine's manipulation, and Anakin choosing to run away with you.

You caught yourself slipping away. Tucked in a corner of your mind where you can feel safe.

The healer's oath replays in your mind, the cruelest reminder.

Blind to faults, blind to good. Serve to save, not to see.

As the jedi healer, you weren't allowed to deny patients. You wondered whether that played into role when you stomached all the horrible things Anakin did. Serve to save, despite, despite, despite...

You landed in a remote place on your home planet of Hapes.

It was a secluded cabin that you used to go to when you were younger. Surrounded by a lake that stretches as far as your eyes can see. It was the first thing that came to mind when you set your ship on autopilot.

Anakin was quiet the entire time.

You, too, became paralyzed by the events that has unraveled.

For a few days, it remained like that.

Though the event has passed, your body can't quite regulate.

It still feels as though someone will find you. And take Anakin with them. You knew your hypervigilance was a consequence of your trauma, but knowing doesn't mean you can let the feeling go.

Even Anakin responds to mild stressors as if he was still in the war. He'd not let you off his sight the first few weeks.

You felt as though Anakin was trying to process everything in his mind. And you grew terrified of his growing silence. Knowing Anakin meant knowing his tendencies to vacillate violently. The reality of what he had done would set and it'd twist into something septic. An unending shame.

You were convinced that he'd have killed himself from it.

But then he'd stare at you deeply as if he was committing you to memory. He'd coddle your face in his palm. He'd hold your hand, hands that are capable of so much rage, and so much tenderness. He'd hold you tight against him in bed, the way he used to.

He can't quite communicate it through words yet, so he'd rely on his touch to let you know that he was still here. Your anxieties eased after. He needed to detangle it on his own. You'd be there whenever he is ready.

Obi-Wan Kenobi appears the next month.

It was through luck that you were the one to open the door.

You knew Obi-Wan would want Anakin to answer for the crimes he's committed.

You won't let him.

"What do you want?" You say cautiously. Stepping forward to the Jedi Master to stop him from entering your new home.

Obi-wan furrows his eyebrows at your action. He gazes at you for a moment before speaking up. "You know what he's done, [Name]"

"The Republic has fallen. The system that replaced it won't hold him to what he's done. It's the very reason for its existence, anyway"

Obi-Wan's eyebrows flashed hearing your words. It seemed as though you'd be the last person he'd expect to exhibit such... heartlessness.

"And what, do you intend to keep him here forever?"

You looked down, fiending an expression of indifference you learnt from Anakin.

"I'm more selfish than he is"

Obi-Wan sighs. There were no more Jedi Council to hold Anakin accountable. You wonder if Obi-Wan had gone looking for him out of the responsibility he felt he had. You could use that.

"If you have any love left for Anakin, You'll leave him with me" You persuaded.

Obi-Wan sharply looks at you. You knew he was being torn apart by his mind and heart.

The door swings, revealing Anakin who appears behind you.

Anakin's arm extends to put you behind him. Obi-Wan was caught, stricken by the sight of his apprentice. You held on to Anakin's forearm.

You held your breath.

Then, Obi-Wan opens his arm to hug Anakin.

Anakin froze, perhaps not expecting his Master to embrace him after...

He turns his head to look at you, then back to his Master. And he reluctantly wraps his arm around Obi-Wan.

You exhaled finally.

You saw Obi-Wan's glossy eyes as he pulled away. He may not forgive Anakin for all the things he's responsible for, but his love for him surpasses all the anger he has.

Gaining his master's acceptance, Anakin became recognizable once more.

However, Obi-Wan could not stay. Perhaps, he's grown sick of stomaching the love he had for Anakin. It was not an easy feeling to be fond of.

When Obi-Wan left, Anakin finally came to you.

It hauntingly paralleled the moment he broke down after he lost his mother. After he gave in to his rage. Only this time, he didn't hold the pose of defiance and came undone, weeping for what he'd done.

You held him and told him that what matters now is what he'll choose to do.

And in the months that come, Anakin has fought to deserve your forgiveness.

He wanted to earn your love.

As a healer, your experience with foraging natural medicine made you more equipped to build a sustainable life. In six months, you were able to make this house by the lake a place to call home.

But, Anakin is being dragged through time. He'd do his best to help, but you can feel his... silence. The weight of it, this was not the life he was groomed to have. He has always lived off the adrenaline. The absence of it makes him constantly feel as though he is at the other end of the high.

It'd worry you whenever he comes home late from a hunt. He's always been reckless, that much hasn't changed. He'd come home covered in tissue deep cuts, bruised muscles, and a dead-pan look in his eyes. It was a topic that you tried to communicate— and a topic Anakin would respond defensively to.

"It's nothing" He'd dismiss whilst you were dressing the wound.

You'd press the clean gauze over his skin, on the brink of anxiety. He'd wince and take the gauze from your hand.

And you'd stand up and leave, because your patience would have run out by then.

It upset you how he always stands on a cliff to wait for the winds to swoon him over because he won't jump, he won't make that decision himself.

Your breaths were shallow as you tried to calm down after yelling about how his passivity over danger was eating at you. You needed him to try. Because you can't save him on your own.

"I'm sorry" Anakin looks down, receding. " I just don't know how to do this" He admits, eyes wide, childlike, helpless.

And you thaw, breaths shallow as you fought to not cry from the anger.

"Anakin, if you don't..." You began, looking down at the ground as if the words would appear before you there. "if you don't want this anymore, you can go"

Because the entire year you have spent in this cabin, it felt like time has frozen. You hoped that in time, you and Anakin would find the courage to move past the war. Of course, it was futile, you can never take back what you've given to the effort.

Whatever is left of you and Anakin is all there is now. And sometimes, it feels like there is nothing. Just ghosts of who you once were. You weren't sure if being with you was making any difference at all.

You were selfish, but not enough to keep him as he wastes away. You'd let him go, even if it'd cripple you forever.

Anakin grabs both of your shoulders firmly, forcing you to look up to him.

"Why do you think I came with you?" Anakin's voice was stern. His eyes fixed, determined to imprint words to your heart.

You held on to his arm, swallowing your anguish. "I only meant that if I'm not doing you any good, you should—"

"And where would I go?" He interrupts, unrelenting.

"I don't know" You admitted. You're ruining him. You've done this to him. You should let him go.

His grip loosened, and his lips kept opening and closing as if he was eating up the words before letting it leave his mouth.

"—I'm trying, [Name]"

"I'm giving you my life, I don't have anything larger to give" His voice breaks, and his head dips. "I'm trying" he repeats.

You felt his tears warm against your clavicle. Your fingers tangling with his hair.

"I know, Ani" You coo gently. "We'll try together" You promised.

It was becoming clearer that he was alleviating his sins by trying to kill the entity that once controlled him. It was also becoming harder to see a monster when all you see is Anakin, the love you abandoned everything for.

Anakin, who was sold as a slave, and then freed, only to be chained to another lifelong servitude through the Jedi. Anakin, who was dropped in the middle of a war, and made responsible for a child whilst being a child himself.

The Jedi Order relied on his nature of winning, despite not agreeing with his tactics. He'd be patronized for his violence, which his life would soon be defined by. Anakin's worst action is murder, the same way his best action is murder. Because if he doesn't answer to the shots fired, he'd be the one receiving them.

He was never afforded any space to become anything else.

Except when he's with you.

Anakin can become cruel, the same way he is loving. Two truths can exist at the same time.

And with the months that flew by, you watched as Anakin continually chose to not let his darkness define him.

You were learning things about him that you couldn't have had during the war. The way he neatly keeps inventory of his tools. The intense focus in his eyes when he is concentrating. The way the wood creaks— the cadence of his steps. All committed to memory because no one else can know him the way you do.

He told you, you saved him. And you wept, unsure whether what you did was really an act of selflessness.

Living with him became easier. No more effort to try to gain his love. No approval, no admiration to attain. There is no role to play, no one to convince. Just, being. There was so much time, and the only thing that mattered was; how long do we have each other?

Most days, Anakin would carry his grief so well, that you'd forget it was even there. He'd work to minimize it, to live with it. However, when the dark comes, he has no control over his dreams. and the overwhelming shame and guilt seep.

It had been two years when you woke up abruptly to find the space beside you empty.

You grabbed your robe, the cold midnight air felt crisp against your skin. Finding Anakin was easy. He'd always wander towards the edge of the lake, staring at the moons.

"It's cold, Ani, come back to sleep" You urged, but Anakin's gaze was far away.

He has chopped some of his hair, and it looked the way it used to during the war. It startles you sometimes to remember how young he still was.

"I had a dream" He speaks softly, arms finding a way to snake around you so he'd press you against him. "It felt as real as you now" His gaze lands on you.

It terrified you to ask, but you did anyway.

"We had a child"

Oh.

You chuckled in surprise. Stepping back to process what he said. It just never seemed to occur to you, then. Though you have never dismissed the idea, it just felt like you were barely surviving to try to raise a child.

Anakin smiles when he realizes he made you flustered. "Good thing it was only a dream?"

You let out a breathless laugh, somehow relieved that Anakin was not seriously considering it.

"Yes," You weren't ready. You may never find it in yourself to ever be ready.

"We're not bringing a child now, not like this"

Anakin's expression melts, "Yes, the empire is growing stronger" His guilt resurfaces.

"I never imagined it to be like this for us," He thinks out loud,

"We have to make the best of what we have" You sigh.

"I've been thinking" Anakin begins, "maybe, there is still something that can be done"

You try steadying your breath, somehow bracing yourself for this moment; when he'll want to fight again.

It was everything he was made for. You knew that, you just didn't think it'd be in under a short period.

Something was screaming inside you. A fear, that you thought had gone when you ran away with Anakin. It was telling you that you were going to lose him. And you, selfishly, want to stop him. He can't... if he goes, he'll die. And you can't even begin to imagine what'll happen to you if he dies.

"How?" You asked despite yourself.

"Ahsoka mentioned something about a rebellion," He says, voice thick with something he hasn't had before. Hope.

"The galaxy needs changing" He steps forward.

You shook your head, overcome by the anxiety of it. "Anakin, I'm never going back"

He turns on his heel, eyes narrowed at your proclamation. "I didn't ask you to come back"

You tilt your head, "Of course, you weren't" Though you knew you were being unfair, just the idea of it was sending stress already.

Anakin's eyebrows knit. "I'm only thinking out loud, it's one thing to consider it but another to act on it" He defends.

Though, you know this is where it begins. And you were responding defensively because you knew where it would lead.

Anakin will forever feel as though he has to restore the galaxy to how it was before he helped destroyed it. It won't be long until he'd despise himself for choosing to stay here with you. Especially since it's been drilled into him that he's supposed to be the one to bring balance to the force.

Whether he loves you or lives in a divided ceaseless revolt against it, what he chooses to love is your fate.

His purpose or you.

Going would give him his closure.

Going would anchor you to the hells of your biggest fear.

"Anakin, please don't go where I can't follow" Your voice broke, begging. It was selfish to want to keep him for the second time.

And you weren't sure whether your love would be enough for Anakin to stay.

Not when it only brought him here, a home by the lake, forever standing on thin ice that always threatened to break under.

You were living under the false pretense of security. All of this, the house, the lake, the isolation, are reminders that you and Anakin will never go back to normalcy, no matter how much you pretend.

A knife may dull, but its purpose remains to cut.

Anakin's expression softens and he presses his lips on the temples of your forehead.

You were slowly understanding that the entire galaxy's fate was carried inside Anakin Skywalker.

The chosen one.

Every decision he made was informed by that pressure. No matter how personal, it always builds to a path that he can't control, because it's already laid out for him.

Created by the force, to be used by the force.

So you can't find the heart to be angry when he left.

You decided it would be hopeless to try to stop him. Anakin has this view that everything in his life, he has to work to earn. To deserve.

Even this... freedom that you have.

He has to contribute to it, in this perverse grandiose action as to fight the Empire. So he can accept that you do indeed love him.

He has to seize this opportunity with Ahsoka. He is more autonomous of his power now. He is once again engaging in something that's risking his life. He can fulfill his destiny.

It didn't make it any less painful.

You had to inspire confidence in him, otherwise, he'd doubt. So, you pushed all your feelings away and smiled when you kissed him goodbye.

You never left the war. The two years you stole were only stalling the inevitable. Perhaps, two years was too generous.

"Bring him back, please" You took Ahsoka aside. Ahsoka nods uncommitedly. For, she won't promise what she can't deliver.

And once again, you have found yourself alone.

He swore he'd have done anything for you.

Just not this one.

His belief that he has no inherent right to life; and has to work to earn anything made you feel as though you were his... prize. A trophy. In which he'd fight for to retain but not value enough to take care of.

He should've stayed. It's good he left.

Because now that you have nothing, you're finally able to detangle how Anakin doesn't love you. Not in the way you thought. Anakin loves that he has you.

You have always put his wellness first, that now, when you are not so worried by walking carefully around his hurt, you are able to feel yours.

Perhaps, losing Anakin was good. You can finally put yourself first. Whilst he still seeks answers in the past

There is no going back to the way it was. You tried living 'normally' and it just became a bitter reminder that you are forever changed.

Acceptance of that and lending yourself a little more compassion might just be the beginning of your healing.

footnote

i'm obsessed with the writing style where authors strikes through the text ! it's such a smart way to imply that the character that's narrating is choosing not to allow those thoughts and so it looks like it's been scribbled out .

also, quoting ka applegate on relationships not lasting outside the war :

"wars don't end happily. not ever. often relationships that were central during war, dissolve during peace. some people who were brave and fearless in a war are unable to handle peace, feel disconnected and confused. "

#anakin skywalker #anakin (ciella's ver)#star wars #sw #anakin x reader #anakin x you #star wars anakin #anakin #anakin fanfiction #anakin skywalker fanfiction #anakin star wars #anakin skywalker fic #fanfic #anakin skywalker x you #anakin skywalker x reader #anakin skywalker x female reader

210 notes · View notes

wangxianficfinder · 19 days

Text

Fic Finder

Apr 12th

~*~

1. For the ficfinder: In the last "In the mood for", no 8 reminded me of a fic but I cant recall the one. Wwx is travelling by himself, writing letters to LZ, he stays in a town and it ends up cursed. LZ and the juniors arrive to solve the case. Wwx is acting weird and hides his letters. The juniors read the letters and find out wwx is angry and full of resentment about how he's been treated. They find out the curse resonates from him. They talk it out to resolve matters. It was written really well. Any idea? @kesterling

FOUND! i found it myself, it kept bugging me. The fic is sadly deleted but on the wayback machine: Dock of the Bay by Haysel.

~*~

2. Hi! This is for Fic Finder. All I remember is the ending, where Yu Ziyuan had her arms cut off, and that there was a part that mentioned that this was punishment enough as she would have to live her life with no pride. Also, she had an affair with Jin Guangshan, and Jiang Cheng was his child, and she had to become his concubine, I think. Hope someone knows which fic this is!

FOUND? sounds like the deleted "OOC!" by A_flower_in_the_snow. It's avaiable on the wayback machine.

~*~

3. Hi, once again.

I’m looking for a fic that I seriously can’t find, at all.

So it would really be a great help if you could.

Wwx was brought to cloud recesses for healing after madam yu had whipped him so bloody he couldn’t move and wa sin active danger of dying.

The disciples who brought him there did so on a donkey I think?

Anyway they asked LZ to please befriend Wwx.

The healers weren’t sure if Wwx would survive. He does.

And joins the lan, befriending LZ oh and he can’t fight with his sword anymore because of the damage and something about his heart having been weakened.

That is all I remember.

Have a nice day/night. @ravenwithwings

NOT FOUND!🔒🧡 rain falls and soaks into the earth series by RoseThorne (T, 57k, WangXian, WIP, Near Death Experience, Attempt Drowning, Madam Yu Bashing, Recovery, No war AU)

FOUND! 🧡 Company by WithBroomBefore (T, 29k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Pre-Relationship, Getting Together, POV LWJ, Fix-It, Pre-Canon, at least to start, WWX goes to Cloud Recesses, But Not In The Usual Way, fear of character death, Everybody Lives, Hurt/Comfort, Happy Ending, Light Angst, good teacher LQR, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, brief discussion of past minor character suicide, Kitten, Not YZY Friendly)

~*~

4. Hi!! I'm looking for a fic I can't remember the name of, a modern AU, possibly set in the UK where lwj is part of some sort of anarchist/ community activist group and wwx joins. Most people in the group already know wwx and are reallly good friends with him but lwj is super skeptical about him. Also at some point I think wwx goes missing and lwj is super worried??? I can't remember anything else... thank you in advance🙏🙏🙏 @kavlobebeki

FOUND? now to begin the road by detectorist (E, 28k, WangXian, Modern AU, Pining, Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, Getting Together, Light Angst, Food as a Metaphor for Love, Activism, Politics, Rooftop Conversations)

~*~

5. Hi, I'm wondering if anyone else remembers a fic similar to leading tone by silencemostofall, and pastel by antebunny, but that's set in the canon era while they're at Cloud Recesses? A few details I remember was that the coloured mark that indicated Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian's relationship started to fade, and that Jiang Cheng was allowed home to celebrate his birthday, while Wei Wuxian's was completely ignored by the Jiang Sect and so he spent it drinking and was caught by Lan Wangji. Apologies that I don't have more! @flaxenhairedsamurai

~*~

6. There was this fic on ao3 I don't remember, much, but it had this part, where lwj refused to go near his child(/children??) Because when wwx was pregnant he slowly grew ill or I dunno I think there was some complications (?) and when it was finally the time of delivery, wwx fell into coma I think. And lxc was angry with lwj for not even looking at his child / children when both wc were so excited for the baby.

There is a similar wx comic on Twitter. Can you please find both of them? The ao3 fic and the Twitter comic too please?

FOUND? I don’t know the Ao3 but I do know the comic similar to the description which made by AlasseTassir in twitter and they post it on their pixiv.

~*~

7. A while back I found and lost 😥 a fic where WangXian, I think, were smuggling Wen Ning (and probably Wen Qing) across a border somewhere and they put a fake mustache on one of the two and people kept complimenting them on how nice it looked. I think people even copied the mustache after that? Maybe even the bad Wens? That's literally all I can remember about it. I've tried every tag I can think of and haven't been able to find it. Hopefully someone will know. TIA! @lilyinthesnow

FOUND! Bloom where you are planted by luckymoonly (M, 44k wangxian, MM/WQ, Canon Divergence, Fix It, courting, Mpreg, Sunshot Campaign, Fluff, Happy Ending, getting together early, Romance, WWX giving birth in the middle of the war? Most likely than you think!, Yúnmèng Siblings Feels, Smut, Drama, Blood and Violence, Minor Character Death, There Is Only One Bed, No Fall of Lotus Pier, Crossdressing, Shotgun Wedding, Mention of miscarriage (not WWX), wangxian Have a Breeding Kink, Giving Birth, Soft granduncle LQR)

~*~

8. hii i need help finding a fic. I remember it is ongoing it is a time travel one where wei ying travels back to the past decides not to join the jiang sect but to be rouge i remember he stole gold from the sects which made the economy go to shit the emperor got involved and disbanded the wen sect wei ying is now rich he is studying to pass some exams he has a nice house with a mini farm meets lan zhan and they fall in love and we find out from lan qiren that wei ying is a royal bc his father was a prince but he ran away to be a servant to the jiang sect and sometime near the last chapters the emperor gives permission to wangxian to marry and to take with him some princes and princesses to raise away from the palace. @wangxian4evermdzs

FOUND? Starting Over by SplitGirl28 (M, 69k, WIP, Time Travel Fix-It, Back to Childhood, Change his life, Different lifestyle, But WWX is still gifted genius, Unrestrained WWX, Living his ideal life)

~*~

9. Hi all! 👋 I am so sorry to bother you if you’ve already found this fic but I’ve scoured across the internet all day and decided to go ahead and ask anyway! I’m looking for a fic that has Wei Ying being adopted into the Lan clan as a child, he was scared to be kicked out and became rather solemn and a perfect lan clan member, on the other hand Lan Zhan has grown to be shameless and flirts with Wei Ying every chance he gets. There’s also some Jiang Bashing, OCs, and maybe some time travel? Help🥹

FOUND? could be the deleted "Uno Reverse" by A_flower_in_the_snow. It's on the wayback machine.

~*~

10. Hello!! I swear I just read it and now I can't find this fic- but it's supposed to be an AU where wwx stayed behind during Lotus Pier's attack and Madam Yu and JC escaped but wwx stayed to fight, and lwj heard wwx was missing and he rushes to help wwx and he runs in JC and JY also trying to save wwx? Thank you in advance!

FOUND? for as long as he will let me by RavenclawLoki (T, 8k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Hurt WWX, Love Confessions, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, First Kiss, BAMF JYL, WangXian Get a Happy Ending)

~*~

11. Hi, thanks so much for all your efforts!!

I’ve been looking for a fic and hope it hasn’t been deleted. Wei Ying, Jiang Cheng, and Jiang Yanli were mermaids but were also semi-amphibious? They could go on land for short periods and they helped fight the Wens during the Sunshot Campaign. Wei Ying is married off to Lan Zhan and he lives in the Cloud Recesses. Most of the story is centered around Wei Ying adjusting to his life on the surface amongst humans and navigating the relationship with his new husband.

FOUND? you’re a bird in the water / i’m a fish on the ground by plonk (Not Rated, 8k, WangXian, Merpeople, Canon Era)

~*~

12. Hi, can you help me find a fic . The story goes somewhat like Lan Wangji was in a nighthunt and had taken shelter in an inn . There was a storm, and Wei Ying came to that inn seeking shelter with a few orphan kids . Those kids and Wei Ying were both from the same, and they escaped from being sold ? I think Wangji was a bit older than Wei Ying. Also, Wei Ying could use his cultivation powers without any medium like swords or instruments. 🙏

FOUND? ❤️ Seen and not heard by eatmyass (E, 51k, wangxian, case fic, no sunshot, kid fic, dadxian, strangers to lovers, found family, LWJ pov, pining, fake/pretend relationship, first time, falling in love)

~*~

13. Helppp! looking for a fic I read awhile ago and it just wont leave my mind, So basically Wangxian had an age gap LWJ was like 16 or 17 and WWX in his 20's but like "the cloud recesses" is some sort of mansion and the lotus siblings visit them in cloud recesses. I think it was tagged E if that helps

~*~

14. Hi! For Fic Finder. Thank you very much for your help. There’s a fic I thought I bookmarked but can no longer find.

The first fic is a dark Lans fic set during the Cloud Recesses arc. WWX and JC are betrothed in this universe. But LWJ and WWX fall in love. LWJ manipulates the environment and JCs insecurities to break them up. I believe it’s in a two part series.

Thank you!

~*~

15. Story of Yanxi Palace based fic. WY is the empress/consort who hides in a box from Sizhui. LZ knows he's inside the box, and as a prank/punishment, he uses the box to play a boardgames with Sizhui

~*~

16. Hi! I really am looking for this story in AO3 and still can't find it. It was about Wei Wuxian who got married to Wen Chao but Lan Zhan couldn't take it so he plans to take Wei Wuxian back by claiming Wei Wuxian each time he got (even in the wedding night of WWX and WC) and destroying the company of the Wens. As they (LWJ & WWX) continued the deed, WWX ended up pregnant and LWJ is more than determined to take WWX back. I do hope you can help me find this story. Thank you in advance!😘 @gegegeeee

FOUND? 姻緣 | this marriage was always predestinedby saccharinings (E, 43k, wangxian, Cheating, Infidelity, not between wangxian, WWX is married and LWJ persuades him to cheat on his husband with him, Dark LWJ, A/B/O, Feminizing Language, Exhibitionism, Size Difference, WagnXian Have a Breeding Kink, Stomach Bulge, Possessive LWJ, Manipulation, WWX Wears Lingerie, Rape/Non-con Elements, for one part, Hair-pulling Kink, Alpha LWJ, Omega WWX, Mirror Sex, Vibrators, Phone Sex, Rimming, Edgeplay, slight choking kink, Light Bondage, Inappropriate Use of Gūsū Lán Forehead Ribbon, LJY’s Big Fat Crush on Milfxian, Pregnant WWX, WangXian Endgame, Spanish Translation)

~*~

17. I'm looking for this fic that's basically a bunch of drabbles in one. Each chapter title is one word and serves as the theme for that chapter. I remember it having quite a lot of chapters, but I only remember one titled "kneeling" where Wuxian kneeled before Wangji (if you need a better picture, imagine that one scene in CQL where Wuxian kneeled and put his head on Yanli's lap in that one episode) @mindaneacc

~*~

18. Hey, I'm looking for a fic where LZ and WY are already married and living in Gusu. But they get separated from each other due to an illness/curse going through the Wen Sect, so LZ leaves to give medical aid. In the process, he ends up adopting Wen Yuan. There is a sweet connection between WY and Lan Qiren. But most importantly Wen Qing managed to assassinate Wen Ruohan. @mother-of-pigeons

I remember 18, though I can't find it either. The sickness/curse in question made people burn from the inside; it was contagious from breathing in the ashes of the people dying. There was a honestly touching scene with Wen Chao dying while Wen Ning kept him company. Wen Qing assassinated WRH because she was treating him for the illness, for which they'd finally found the cure, and he announced that he therefore would use it as a weapon against the other sects, by deliberately infecting them and holding the cure hostage. The only ones they'd allow to have the cure are the Lans, because they're the only ones who came to help. He also intended to marry WQ, as he'd lost both his sons and needed new ones. I think it might have been part of a series, with the first part showing how WangXian got together.

FOUND!🔒Distance Makes the Heart Grow Fonder by Titans_R_Us (T, 11k, WangXian, Arranged Marriage, Mutual Pining, Temporary Separation, BAMF WQ)

~*~

19. Hello!! Here I am again looking for a wangxian fic. It's one that I read through here but never found again, anyway, the things I remember from the fic are: the sects transform into animals, being shapeshifters, the Lan are dragons like WWX, I also remember that the transfer of core occurred but the core has a mind of its own and it goes back to WWX's body, WWX faints and Wanji makes a soulmate connection... Those are the only things I remember!!

Note: I think Ao3 should have category filtering in our subscriptions, because I think I subscribed to the story but I already looked and couldn't find it... @sweettiebah

FOUND? sounds like "Revealed Truths Against Dragon's Fire" by Preludian_Staves. It's hidden on AO3 but avaiable on the waback machine.

~*~

20. Hi! I'm looking for a fic with a red string of fate au where wwx jumps off the cliff, but has a moment of weakness when he looks at lwj and end up tying himself to lwj before dying... And when he wakes up he discovers lwj kept the string bc when he wakes up as mxy he can see it connecting him to lwj. He flees and tries to put as much distance as he can between them but lwj still finds him at dafan mountain... It's a multi chapter (I think) with a happy ending. Help please? 🥺

FOUND? 💖 a trail of blood to find your way back home by blackelement7 (T, 19k, wangxian, JC & WWX, what if a soulmate string au, but without the soulmates aspect of it, a reflection on the nature of marriage, WWX is full of regrets, so is LWJ, Mutual Pining, Miscommunication, JC & WWX Reconciliation, JC is trying his best but words are hard and his brother is stupid, Siblings, Canonical Character Death, but it’s just WWX, accidental 3zun feels, WWX as the most unreliable of narrators)

~*~

#wangxian #mdzs #wangxian fic finder #wangxian fic search #the untamed #wangxianficfinder #long post

100 notes · View notes

destieltropecollection · 1 year

Photo

DESTIEL TROPE COLLECTION 2023 | DAY 3 | S15 Fix Its

i wanna be your lover fighter | @angelwiththeblue-box

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 1,056 Main Tags/Warnings: Fix-It, Major Character Death, Hurt/Comfort, AU, Happy Ending, Summary: what if dean is the one who confesses first?

There's Something About Jenny | @whichstiel

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 1,965 Main Tags/Warnings: Jenny the vampire, Time travel Summary: A fix-it for the finale.

Heavenly | @sunshine-zenith

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 2,864 Main Tags/Warnings: Past Major Character Death/Set In Heaven, Post s15ep20, happy ending, humor, minor angst, Cas has some self worth issues Summary: Cas has been avoiding Dean in heaven, despite Dean's best efforts to find some information on the guy. The others made a point to bash over his head how Dean and Castiel had apparently been in love and could have been together for over a decade if he had just gotten his head out of his ass sooner (again, super unfair. It takes two to make up destiel, and it's not like Cas had been rushing to declare his undying love until just before he died for the last time. Unless you count that other time in the barn where he thought he was dying, but the angel totally chickened out when he backtracked with his “I love you all.” This wasn’t all on Dean, and he was taking that fact to the- well. Not grave. They’re all a little past that at that point). Luckily, eventually, Cas comes to him.

Sit in the Presence of the Sun | @aaronthe8thdemon

Rating: Mature Word Count: 3,125 Main Tags/Warnings: Post-Season/Series 15, Angst, Suicide Attempt, Major Character Undeath, Sad Dean Winchester, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Misunderstandings, Winged Castiel (Supernatural), Selectively Mute Dean Winchester, Angel Castiel Summary: “Why wouldn’t Dean want to see you?” “When I…” Castiel very deliberately continues watching the sun instead of Sam. “I’m not comfortable discussing this with you. I’m sorry.” “Okay…?” “It’s fine. Jack has already informed me that Dean doesn’t want any of us to bother him.” Now Sam groans. “Really? No, Cas! Dean doesn’t wanna see me or Jack! I’m pretty sure he just didn’t believe Jack when we tried telling him you’re back, and he fucking - escaped from the hospital when I wasn’t there and took off for Jody’s! He never said he doesn’t want to see you!” Castiel shakes his head. “That doesn’t matter. I… when I protected him in the dungeon, there’s no way around the fact that my actions were extremely upsetting for him. He doesn’t want to see me.”

There'll be peace when you are done - are you done? | @brainfuzz

Rating: General Word Count: 3,216 Main Tags/Warnings: Fix-it fic, no warnings apply Summary: Canon compliant right to the shitty end, and then goes and explains all the gaps and why that's not the end.

These Words Are All We Have (We’ll Be Talking) | @sunshine-zenith

Rating: Mature Word Count: 3,625 Main Tags/Warnings: Injury, Blood, Hurt Cas, Crying Cas and Dean, Dean has Self Worth Issues, Human Cas (S15 fix it), Hurt/Comfort, Getting Together, Bittersweet Ending Summary: When the Empty comes to collect Cas, Dean doesn't let it take him. The aftermath of this leaves Cas without his Grace and with a bleeding cut across his throat, and Dean questioning his worthiness of Cas's love.

this is the only thing i’ve ever had any faith in | @watchinghimrakeleaves

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 3,760 Main Tags/Warnings: season 15 fix it, post canon, human cas, retired hunter dean winchester Summary: The world is safe, Dean and Cas own a bar on the beach, and Dean is ready to ask Cas for something he could have never imagined he was allowed to have.

Devotional | @whichstiel

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 4,034 Main Tags/Warnings: The Empty, Resurrection Summary: A devotional is a little meditative prayer centered around a story. We start with THE WORD, follow up with a story, and walk away with a little revelation to ponder. I give you Castiel’s devotionals.

Signal | @diminuel

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 7,176 Main Tags/Warnings: S15 Fix-It, Interdimensional phone calls, Resurrected Castiel (Cas is still an angel), Crack Treated Seriously, Happy Ending, Fluff, Requited Love Summary: When the Empty grabbed Castiel he was prepared for this to be the end of him. There would be no more resurrections, no more loopholes, nothing but eternal sleep. But then his phone rings, piercing through the oblivion and Cas is wide awake. Turns out he’s got cell service in the Empty.

it's not a miracle you need | @brillemos

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 7,711 Main Tags/Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Post-Episode: s15e19 Inherit the Earth, Fix-It, Angst with a Happy Ending, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Mutual Pining, Love Confessions, First Kiss Summary: Jack refuses to help save Cas from the Empty. Dean has no clue how to do it and enlists Sam and Eileen's help. It turns out the answer was within Cas all along, but getting there isn't easy.

how fast the night changes (WIP) | @closetoyou1970

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 7,915 Main Tags/Warnings: Season 15 Fix-It, Dean Rescues Cas From The Empty, New Relationship, Road Trip, Retirement, Grieving and Healing, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angel Cas Endgame Summary: Cas is back from the Empty, but Dean is still too traumatized by watching him die to set foot back in the bunker. With no apocalypse on the horizon and with a deathbed love confession still hanging heavy in the air between them, Dean suggests his go-to idea: that the pair of them take off together and drive around the backroads of flyover country until they figure it out. (Post-series road trip fic.)

if you ran away, just come home | @heller-castiel

Rating: No Rating Word Count: 9,172 Main Tags/Warnings: Grief/Mourning, Selectively Mute Dean Winchester, Woman in White Dean Winchester, Canonical Character Death, Fix-it, Angst With a Happy Ending, Human Castiel Summary: Dean wandered, after. The night that Chuck died, subsumed into Amara, he had silently climbed into his car in the dead of night, walking past Jack's room, past Sam's room. In his room, Sam laid in his bed with Eileen, and felt the air displace itself around where Dean slipped past in the hallway, instincts attuning him to movement just as they made Dean move soundlessly, without a thought to it. but Dean didn’t think of that. Dean only thought of moving, getting out, going - Going to something the bunker couldn’t be, anymore. Something he couldn’t ever go to. But he had to go.

Know And Understand | @aaronthe8thdemon

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 10,387 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Post-Episode AU: s15e19 Inherit the Earth, Time Travel, Episode: s04e02 Are You There God? It's Me Dean Winchester, Grief/Mourning, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Angel Castiel Summary: The Cas that reappears in the bunker after Chuck is defeated isn't their Cas. After supposedly being taken by the Shadow, Castiel has no idea why he immediately crash-lands in Bobby Singer's wrecking yard just days after Dean was raised from Hell. Jack is just trying to fix everything and surprisingly, Gabriel turns out to be really good at damage control. In both times, Sam has no idea what the hell's going on anymore and at this point he's almost too scared to ask.

I would do anything for love... but I won't do that | @startswitheff

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 11,001 Main Tags/Warnings: Post-Canon Fix-It, Dean Winchester Uses Actual Words, Eventual Smut, Human!Castiel, Top!Castiel, Bottom!Dean Winchester Summary: When Dean pulls Castiel from the Empty, he knows he wants to be by his side for the rest of his life. But is he ready for everything that entails? Otherwise known as the “and that’s how…” fic.

Summer Blues | @deanabean

Rating: Mature Word Count: 11,193 Main Tags/Warnings: Retrospective, Dean Winchester-centric, POV Dean Winchester, Bisexual Dean Winchester, Selectively Mute Dean Winchester, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, Competent Dean Winchester, yCastiel and Dean Winchester are Jack Kline's Parents, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Angst with a Happy Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Post-Canon Fix-It, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester Summary: As Dean sits here alone in the dark of this summer's night, going through some sort of an introspection journey deep down memory lane _ as he’s finding himself doing more and more for a while now _ as he tries his hardest to make sense of things. Of memories. Yes, Dean thinks; hindsight is like looking through a sharp, new set of eyes. Sometimes disorienting, yet the closest thing to crystal clear.

Status quo ante bellum | @angelinthefire

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 11,201 Main Tags/Warnings: human!Castiel, light angst, canon-typical alcohol consumption Summary: Cas is back from the Empty, human, and convinced that his relationship with Dean is unsalvagable. Can Dean get his shit together in time to prove otherwise?

Dean daily | @fellshish

Rating: Mature Word Count: 11,840 Main Tags/Warnings: Epistolatory, denial, social media, fix-it Summary: Cas has been rescued from the Empty. Dean suffers from extreme denial about being in love with him. Epistolary / social media fic with Dean POV snippets for every day.

The Council Of Charlie Bradbury | @pointyearedelvishprincling

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 13,157 Main Tags/Warnings: post 15x18, angel!cas, selective mutism, angst with a happy ending, pov Charlie Bradbury, pov dean winchester, pov castiel, emotional hurt/comfort, LOTR references Summary: It's been a few weeks since Cas got out of the Empty, and Dean can't accept that there's finally peace in the world. Watching the camera footage of the dungeon scene on repeat probably isn't helping. Cas is content to give Dean space to heal, even if the loneliness at the end of the journey is settling in. On the request of Sam, not that she needed an excuse, Charlie spends the night in the Bunker trying to figure out what's going on with these idiots, and getting more answers than she bargained for. With the help of Stevie, she comes up with a plan that might finally bring Dean and Cas together.

something you love (something you lose) | @nessarose-thropp

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 15,308 Main Tags/Warnings: Post-Episode: s14e20 Moriah, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Temporary Character Death, Rough Sex, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, Suicidal Ideation, Grief/Mourning, POV Castiel (Supernatural), Hopeful Ending, Angel Castiel Summary: “Story's over,” Chuck says, “Welcome to The End.” And with that everything goes dark and cold. The darkness and rot of souls and bodies surrounds them. He doesn’t dare touch Jack again, just stares at his lifeless body lit only by unnatural moonlight. He’s vaguely aware of the threat slowly encircling them, but none of it matters. Nothing matters anymore. Somewhere, something deep inside of him-not his earthly body but his true angel self-awakens. It’s a type of power and heat he hasn’t felt in years. It’s uncontrollable and unforgiving. Light and righteousness and fury coalescing into something terrifying. Castiel lets out a scream, an anguished cry from his human mouth and a piercing angelic shriek, and with it releases whatever it was that had been growing within him. When he feels it leave, his consciousness finally returns to the present, to the Earth and to his vessel and to Sam and Dean and to Jack and it’s light out again. The sun is shining just as it was minutes ago, and there is no sign of any dark forces around them. No ghosts, no zombies, no demons, just two men, an angel, and the body of a dead Nephilim. - Jack is gone, Chuck is in the wind, and Cas must find a way to cope.

The Little Issue with the Mission to Perdition | @amaranthhiding

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 16,460 Main Tags/Warnings: Canon Universe, Post-Ep 15x19, Jack & Amara family bonding, Jack and Amara Try Fixing Things Together but Make Everything Worse, Team Free Will 3.0, Angst with Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Castiel/Dean First Kiss, POV Alternating (Jack, Amara, Dean, Sam, Castiel) Summary: Chuck is defeated and his power now belongs to Jack and Amara. They struggle with adjusting to their newly-shared existence, and with big questions such as, how can (almost) all-powerful beings avoid becoming what Chuck was? What even is all that power good for when it doesn't allow Jack to save someone from the Empty who absolutely deserves being saved? Who thought it was a good idea to hand all that power to two beings who, together, have spent less years on Earth than the average human child? ...And why is there suddenly black goo everywhere?

In the Rolling Up of Sleeves | @the-elf-barbarian

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 20,344 Main Tags/Warnings: S15 fix it Cas is human/in heaven, Dean and Cas are dead/in heaven, Canon typical Alcohol Abuse, Canon typical reference to Child Abuse, Domestic Fic, Magical Realistic Heaven, Failure to communicate, The Unrelenting Search for Happiness, Hurt/Comfort but like... for Us Summary: When Cas arrives in heaven, sometime after sacrificing himself to the Empty - he and Jack realize just how wrong Chuck got it when he built heaven. And, just how much work they have in store to prepare heaven for the arrival of those they love. Meanwhile, in the wake of Chuck’s defeat, Dean finds a way to forge a life with this new, more free, world while grappling with the knowledge of Cas’s true feelings. When they finally meet in heaven, will they finally get the afterlife they deserve - learning and building, to make the Heaven they have spent so long fighting for - or will Cas’s fears about how he escaped from The Empty endanger it all? What was that, wayward sons, about there being peace when you were done?

to the wonder of all things | @hauntedpearl

Rating: General Word Count: 21,164 Main Tags/Warnings: Fix-It, Empty rescue, Hell rescue, Flashbacks, Angel!Cas, Love Confessions, First Kiss Summary: The Empty puts Castiel to sleep. The sound of prayer wakes him up. He follows this call echoing through the void and relives pieces of his life as he journeys towards the voice — towards freedom. Towards Dean.

One Week Later | @squirrelofcelestialintent

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 23,208 Main Tags/Warnings: Panic attacks, alcohol as a coping mechanism, bisexual dean, internalized homophobia, switching, gentle dom cas, identity crisis, graceless/human Castiel, discussions of sex work Summary: “Touch-starved”. It’s one of those terms (along with “alcoholic” and “abused child”) that Dean has worked very hard to keep on the other side of the big fat concrete wall in his brain. The one that, until now, only weakens when he’s truly, deeply shit-faced. But Cas has made a career out of breaking through Dean’s walls, it only makes sense that he’d tear this one down too, if he just died enough times. Ripped Dean’s heart out just enough so that the foundations of family and duty and sacrifice can crumble and leave Dean even more of a desperate, black hole of need than he was before. Chuck is dead, and Cas… Cas is back. And Dean is supposed to be happy. It’s time to decide what he wants to do with the rest of his life. But how can he do that, when every time he’s not physically touching Cas he starts to have a panic attack that none of this is real, and it’s all just another one of Chuck’s games? Who knows. So, he lets himself touch Cas. Constantly. It’s that or face a complete, Chernobyl-scale meltdown. At least Cas doesn’t seem to mind.

there's no cell service in the afterlife | @payphoneangel

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 27,404 Main Tags/Warnings: finale fix-it, Angst with a Happy Ending, Alcoholism, Family Dynamics, Jack Kline is Not God, Suicidal Thoughts, Empty deal, Blood and Injury, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Masturbation Summary: Castiel is resurrected from The Empty. While Dean is recovering from casting the spell that brought him back, Cas checks his voicemail. Turns out, they both just might be able to say what it is they want.

Inherit the Earth | @malicmalic

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 29,167 Main Tags/Warnings: S15 fix it, Castiel Lives, First kiss, MPreg, TopCas/Bottom Dean, comfort, Jack is God, Light angst, Fluff, Happy ending. Summary: Prompt: Cas and Dean deal with a surprise pregnancy. Or the one where the world didn't end, Jack defeated Chuck and Dean and Cas got their happily ever after.

The Blood Curse | @labgeek2002

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 32,690 Main Tags/Warnings: Angel Cas, post season 15 fix-it, internalized homophobia, time travel Summary: Castiel has been rescued from the Empty, but the spell used to retrieve him tears a hole in the dimensional wall that acts as barrier protecting Earth from the pull of everlasting darkness. As the Empty feeds off of Castiel's grace to sustain itself, driving him closer to death with every passing minute, Dean becomes desperate to save him. The only way to repair the damage is for Dean, Sam, and Cas to travel back in time to obtain a witch's stone that's in the possession of John Winchester, circa 2002. A twenty-three year old Dean Winchester will serve as their guide as they navigate the tumultuous father-son relationship that transcends time itself before the Empty draws its final curtain.

Buffer Time | @sunshine-zenith

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 42,728 Main Tags/Warnings: Referenced to past character death (minor and major), slight psychological horror, sexual humor, mental health issues, Fusion/AU Hopping, everyone needs hugs, s15 fix it, Angel Cas, Happy Ending Summary: When Dean wakes up in his town's jailcell with a disoriented Cas, he happily roles with it. Sure, he knows he'll be the laughing stock of the town for a few days -- what deputy locks himself in his own jailhouse? -- but as long as Cas is there, things are fine. Until he realizes his memory is unusually fuzzy. Until Cas starts acting strange and morose. Until he starts having brief flashes of Cas being taken from him by an inky black entity. Until Cas starts talking about plot holes and tropes. Until he wakes up by a fire in the woods, on a quests to fight a dragon --no wait, in an ambulance, late for his shift as a surgeon-- no wait- Dean's just trying to figure out why he and Cas keep waking up in different genres and why Cas seems so distant, while Sam works with Eileen, Gabriel, and a few others to do the same on the other side of a laptop. (WandaVision inspired finale fix-it)

Creatures of Light | @aishitara

Rating: Mature Word Count: 44,075 Main Tags/Warnings: Angel!Cas, temporary MCD, temporary canonical MCD, canon-typical depictions of violence, Castiel and Dean Winchester have a profound bond, angst with a happy ending, creature!Cas, trueform!Cas, surrealism, non-linear storytelling, love confessions, heavy reliance on scenes from potentially triggering episodes of season 15. Summary: Dean is in Heaven. He’s got everything he could ever want at his fingertips, a literal eternity of peace laid before him for the having, but he can’t help thinking — how can it really be his Heaven if Cas isn’t there? Then one day, Dean goes for a drive. And at the end of it he finds something he truly did not expect. Another chance, maybe, to find Cas and confront him about his parting words to Dean. To figure out what it is he wants and to take it, for once, without guilt or shame. Another chance to live free.

And Neither Do You | @withclawsandsympathy

Rating: Mature Word Count: 45,309 Main Tags/Warnings: Canon Divergence, Blood and Violence, POV Dean, bi Dean, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dean Winchester is Loved, Body Horror, Horror, Character Death Fix, Fox-It, Quote: Family Don’t End With Blood (Supernatural), Angel!Cas, Finale Rewrite Summary: “Come, now,” he heard Cas rasp. It wasn’t coming from the phone anymore, but from right outside the door. Dean lowered the phone and took a hesitant step forward, his bare foot sinking into the damp, rotting carpet. “Cas, what’s wrong? I don’t … You’re not making any sense.” “I have something for you,” Cas said, and this time it came as a whisper in a language Dean didn’t know, yet somehow understood. Dean froze in his tracks, his hand hovering just over the doorknob. He wanted so desperately for it to be Cas on the other side of this door, but he knew deep down that something was horribly, horrifically wrong. The rise of a new, hands-off God has unintended consequences, and the promise of free will reaches further than anyone intended. In the absence of the one who'd locked them away, and beneath the cracked and abused surface of the Midwest, an Old God stirs. Here, death is not the peace you're looking for, and there's one person left to save. Or: family don't end in blood, and neither does Dean Winchester.

Finally (WIP) | @nanianela

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 70,698 Main Tags/Warnings: Season/Series 15, Sam Winchester/Eileen Leahy, Canon Compliant, Fix-It, Soul Bonds, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, Post-Finale, Engaged Castiel/Dean Winchester, Magical Pregnancy Summary: Castiel manages to escape the Empty, but on borrowed time. Before he hands over his grace, he accidentally forges an angelic bond to Dean, his new life mate, and grace tainted with humanity has no place in the angel afterlife. The bond forces Dean and Cas to navigate new waters, as they can now see into each other’s minds and feel what the other feels. Grace sex between Dean’s soul and Cas’s grace becomes a new normal in the couple’s lives, until it causes something they never thought possible...

Carve a Palace From Within | @norahastuff

Rating: Mature Word Count: 75,930 Main Tags/Warnings: Background Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester, mention of canon Cas/Djinn queen, 15x20 doesn't exist (except to dunk on), Castiel is Jack Kline's Parent, Introspection for everybody, The Power Of Love, Dean's Top 13 Zepp Traxx Mixtape, Billie is not a villain (this one's important to me), I will drag these idiots to the beach if it kills me, Cas is something between angel and human Summary: The world is saved, Chuck has been defeated, and with the help of Amara and Jack, they managed to rescue Cas from the Empty. It's over. It's all over. So, what now? Sam wants to continue on as a Man of Letters and help other hunters and Dean and Cas want to open up a Roadhouse-style bar, but old habits die hard, and it’s surprisingly easy to fall back into their established routine of monsters and hunting - that is until they run into trouble on a case and have to take a step back and evaluate what’s truly important. Just when it seems like things are finally falling into place, an old friend returns and they discover there's still one of Chuck’s messes they need to clean up. The cosmic forces at the top may have a plan to fix it, but it’s Dean who will have to play the pivotal role. In order to do so, he’ll have to confront his past, face up to who he really is and acknowledge just how far he's willing to go to get the job done. One thing’s for sure, though: this is their story and he refuses to let it end as a tragedy. They deserve better. They’ve earned the chance to be free.

Forget your perfect offering | @angelinthefire

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 81,785 Main Tags/Warnings: fix-it, angel!cas, top castiel/bottom dean winchester, angelic grace sex, minor homophobia, angel family, dadstiel, canon-typical alcohol use, panic attack, happy ending Summary: Cas was resurrected. Dean told Cas that he loves him, that he can have everything he wanted, but Cas has to stay with him. Cas promised that he would. The thing is, he didn’t realize how literal Dean was being. Now, Cas works on rebuilding Heaven with the angels, while he builds a new life with Dean. Neither of those things are as easy as Cas would have liked.

There Are Roads Left in Both of Our Shoes | @hawkland

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 117,878 Main Tags/Warnings: human!Cas, series fixit, road trip, nightmares, emotional hurt/comfort, switching Dean/Cas, soul bonds Summary: What happens when Cas wakes up in the Empty a second time, and rescues his own damn self? At first, it seems like the happy ending Dean thought he’d lost his chance to ever know. But as the two set out on a celebratory road trip and begin enjoying their new life together, there’s a darkness clinging to Cas that refuses to completely let go. They may need to make an altogether different kind of journey in order to put the past fully behind them. And meanwhile, where is Jack, anyway?

Beyond This Illusion | @skybird87

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 161,339 Main Tags/Warnings: Post Finale, Human Cas, Internalized Homophobia, Coming Out, Homophobic Language, Top Dean, Bottom Cas, Panic Attacks, Team as Family, Slow Burn Summary: “Are you serious, Dean? Your djinn-dream started with you dying?” Sam asks incredulously from the passenger. “Well, technically it started with us going on a hunt,” Dean points out. He licks his lips, jaw clenching. “I mean, there was Heaven, too, and that was pretty cool.” Sam stares at him. “Sorry, man, but that just sounds pretty lame.” He leans back and folds his arms. “Kinda sounds like something Chuck would cook up. Just you and me. No one else. I mean, really?” *~*~* In which some people come back, Cas learns to be human (the right way, this time), Dean Winchester finally realizes that good things do happen, and they all get their version of the post-credits, apple-pie life they deserved. AKA: Screw Chuck's narrative.

#destiel trope collection #destiel trope collection 2023 #destiel #fanfic #s15 fix its #day 2

249 notes · View notes

aziraphales-library · 7 months

Note

hi guys! just want to start off by saying you are incredible and i am so grateful for this library.

do you know if any frenemies to lovers fics at all? i’ve recently read Camping with your Frenemy: It's F***ing Intense by IneffableMcMuffin and it was so good

thanks again!

You can check our #enemies to lovers, #enemies to friends to lovers and #friends to lovers tags for fics you may enjoy. Here are some more along the lines of rivals to lovers...

The Golden Lion by CrentTrimm (E)

Aziraphale, a privateer in the King's Navy, meets an old rival in Port Royal, and their exchange ends in a hasty tussle in a back alley.

Gods in the Gaslight by Anti_kate & rfsmiley (T)

A mysterious rival and a ghost from the past threaten Fell's magical career.

The Devil's in the Flowers by jjgremlinson (M)

For the last eleven years, A.Z. Fell’s Fantastic Flowers has provided quality bouquets and services to the people of London. Whether it’s weddings or funerals, lovesickness or heartbreak, Aziraphale can find the perfect flower for you. But when Crowley’s Flowers, Houseplants, and Other Assorted Leafy Green Things opens up across the street, everything starts to change—and Aziraphale will be damned if he’s going to let this no-good, profit-hungry Crowley steal all his business. (Or, the one where Aziraphale and Crowley are rival florists working in the same neighborhood).

Would I Lie to You? by FeralTuxedo & TawnyOwl95 (E)

Anthony Crowley and Aziraphale Fell are rival team captains on popular comedy panel show Don't Lie To Me, where they exchange insults and banter to an audience of millions. But behind the scenes, a whole other game of truth and lies is being played. A comedy panel show AU

Angel Face with a Taste for Suicidal by Lor_Lupin (E)

When Crowley spots his replacement on his former band for the first time, he doesn't expect the man to push him against a wall but he's not complaining. The Fallen and Flaming Swords, two rival struggling punk bands, hold a grudge against each other and spend more time fighting and performing crass pranks than actually composing songs. Crowley is hurt, Aziraphale is new, a lot of flirting ensues. INEFFABLE HUSBANDS AS HUMAN PUNK BASS PLAYERS. Inspired by the looks of Peter Vincent in Fright Night and Thorne in Laws of Attraction.

Actuarial Risk by doomed_spectacles (M)

A. Z. Fell, principle salesman for Silver City Financial, never paid much attention to his company's main competition, Fourth Circle, LLC. That is, until he met Anthony Crowley. When the rivalry between their respective head offices heats up, they make an arrangement both know is unsustainable. A rival salesman AU with hijinks, fluff, misunderstandings, and a happy ending.

And the one you mentioned...

Camping with your Frenemy: It's F***ing Intense by IneffableMcMuffin (E)

Silly little romp featuring bitchy Aziraphale and Crowley's hips which are incapable of being untruthful.

- Mod D

#good omens #ineffable husbands #adult omens #human au #rivalry #enemies to friends to lovers #enemies to friends #mod d

147 notes · View notes

inevitably-johnlocked · 3 months

Text

Five Fics Friday: January 19/24

Happy Friday, everyone!! It's time for my weekly collection of fics to give you guys something awesome to start off your weekend! Make sure to give these fics some love, and then come back on Sunday for a new list! Enjoy!!

RECENT MFLs

Non-Toxic by NinjaNina2 (M, 1,713 w., 1 Ch. || Established Relationship, Misunderstandings, Doctor John, Parentlock, Fluff and Humour, Stubborn Sherlock, Worried John) – Based on previous experiences, John has every right to be worried when gone for a medical conference, but what is the extent of damage This time…?!?

(Rosie's) Elephant in the Room by topsyturvy_turtely (T, 4,513 w., 1 Ch. || Post S4, Parenthood, Rosie is in this Fic, Plushie, Idiots in Love, Fluff and Angst, Domesticity, Pining, Co-Parenting, Love Confessions, Friends to Lovers, Flirting, First Kiss) – John Watson loves Sherlock Holmes. Sherlock Holmes loves John Watson. John Watson’s daughter loves her giant elephant plushie. This is the story how the two men finally jump over their shadows and confess their feelings. All because of an elephant plushie.

Under the Waves by johnwatso (M, 8,245 w., 7 Ch. || Suicide Attempt, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Recovery, Angst with Happy Ending) – Sherlock finally makes the decision to end his life. John helps with the fallout.

The Losing Side by Calais_Reno (T, 8,731+ w., 3/9 Ch. || WiP || TRF-Divergence, TEH Fix It, First Kiss, Regrets, Love Confessions, POV Sherlock, Clever John, Angst with Happy Ending) – What if Sherlock planned to fake his suicide, but John figured it out before he met Moriarty on the roof? What if Sherlock refused John's offer to go with him? And what if John did something so inexplicable that Sherlock couldn't stop thinking about it for two years?

Time in a Bottle by DiscordantWords (M, 18,413+ w., 5/6 Ch. || Magical Realism AU || WiP || Djinni / Genies, Time Travel, Temporary Character Death, Mutual Pining, Messy John / Sherlock, Idiots in Love, Heavy Angst With Happy Ending) – This is a story of seven wishes. One wasted wish, five wishes that changed the world, and one wish that changed nothing at all.

#five fics friday #johnlock fic recs #my fic recs

53 notes · View notes

saintarc · 8 months

Text

HUMAN PUPPET . . . ft dazai osamu.

about. a girl who loves osamu dazai more than the world. up to the point where she would be obliged to die just for him and only him.

notes. f! reader | puppet! au. dedicated to @anqelically angelalala

a beautiful man who looked for a woman to commit double suicide with for the longest of time would have his dreams fulfilled. but with a twist. the woman would be the one who commits suicide, and dazai would be the one in even more of a crippling despair.

you swore to yourself that you would dedicate your entire life to the man, even after death. that is, if your phantom of a spirit still roams around the earth in desperate hope that it would be together with dazai osamu once again. forever . . . and ever . . . and for eternity.

you will never leave him alone.

but dazai osamu said, "would you like to be like those puppets sitting on the shelf with me?" and you responded with a yes. even if it means to turn you into wood with strings attached to be displayed and played in a puppet theatre show. or even something different than just displaying. to be dissembled. perhaps crushed.

never would dazai osamu knew that his sarcasm of his playful tongue would lead to a regret of his life. he should have never said such things in such a serious matter. it only caused an unexplainable misunderstanding for the woman he would willingly sacrifice his life for.

so why? why did you have to mysteriously star in newspapers and magazines, displayed in a glass display as a life-sized puppet who was human a day ago?

shiny wooden skin, emotionless facial feature, movable mouth, polished plastic eyes, body parts that attaches and detaches, strings attached to certain parts of the body, and a lifeless breath that ceased not so long ago upon the creation of a human puppet.

at least . . . dazai could've been a human puppet with you. but you did it for his sake. all for your undying love for him.

#🎥 . . xwrites #dazai osamu #bsd dazai #bsd #bungou gay dogs #bungo stray dogs x reader #dazai x reader #dazai x you #bsd x reader #bsd x y/n #bsd imagines #dazai oneshot

86 notes · View notes

weird-obsessed-girl · 6 months

Text

Severitus Fic Rec/TBR

Here is a list of my Severitus TBR and fic recommendations, this will mostly have Severus adopting/taking care of Harry. Many of these will include Harry’s abuse from the Dursley’s so please keep that in mind as you look at this list.

This list will also require an open mind as I’ve included a few ships including Severus and other adult characters (and absolutely excluding any of the students I’m looking at you Snape/Hermione freaks)

Master list for fic TBR/rec

Organised by word count.

Resolution - DancingInTheSilverGlow

G | 1.4K # hopeful ending, angst, sev adopts baby harry

To be Loved - ladyofsilverdawn

T | 1.4K # A/B/O dynamics, angst with happy ending, fluff, adoption

Is it just you and me (in the wreckage of the world) - becarefulcontentspriceless

G | 2k | 2/2 chapters # found family, Minerva raises harry, sev turned against DE before lily’s death, still spy

Coming Out - JessalynMichele

G | 2k | Drarry # gay panic, fluff, coming out, humour, good Draco, sirius lives, good parent sev

Soulmate to the Mutt - Jelaine92

G | 9k | Severus/Sirius # soulmate au, fluff and angst

A House on Stilts - Boyvoids

11k | 1/1 chapters # suicidal thoughts, adoption, guardian sev, sev takes harry to the ocean

Severus Snape and the Burden of Responsibility - ThatGirlWithASquid

T | 16k | 5/5 chapters # found family, bedtime stories, harry gets love he deserves, light angst, adoption, kid fic

The adventures of Snape slowly adopting Harry Potter series by Flumet

G | 23k | 10 works/? # kid harry, fluff, domestic fluff, happy ending, accidental shenanigans

To Make A Home, From Shadows And Flowers And Love (Severitus For The Soul) series by Otaku6337

T | 27k | 6 works/? # hurt/comfort, smart harry, sev has a heart, family bonding, domestic fluff, good sev

Unsaid - Dianaartemis16

G | 35k | 10/10 chapters # father-son relationship, hurt/comfort, child neglect, pre-hogwarts

Calamity - MellarkandArt

T | 40k | 15/15 chapters # child abuse, third year, healer sev, courtroom drama, food issues, good friends romione, hurt/comfort

Bruised Words series by starknjarvis

G | 50k | 2/2 works # traumatised harry, harry has to live with Snape, sickfic, pre-third year, misunderstandings, found family, adoption

The Potion Master’s Second Chance - Thinksy

T | 620k | 85/100 chapters # time travel fix-it, mentor sev, canon divergence, sev adopts harry, slow build, wolf star bashing

#severitus #sevitus #Severus Snape is harry potter’s parent #harry potter fanfiction #Severus Snape fan fiction #Harry Potter has a good childhood #abused Harry Potter

51 notes · View notes

boba-beom · 1 year

Text

personal favourites ✧˖*°࿐

I’ve always wanted to share my favourite fics especially ones that have been engraved in my mind even when I haven’t read it for so long. there’s always something in my day-to-day life that reminds me of them; be it songs, phrases, scenarios or even just the personalities of these characters. just know that these are the ones I hold very dear to my heart :> I thank the writers for writing such beautiful fics and putting so much effort into these <3 will be updated when I read more/when the series I'm reading are done!

₊˚.༄ 𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐈 𝐒𝐎𝐎𝐁𝐈𝐍

➯ Artificial Lust — @bb-eilish | ✦ ❥

Ai!Soobin x f!reader summary; Your close friend’s new riches makes christmas forever memorable.

➯ Copyccino — @fairybinie | ❀ ❖ ღ

soobin x gn!reader genre: slow burn, college au, strangers to lovers, social media au + written chapters

synopsis: soobin has been talking to who he thought was his unrequited crush on messages, only to find out through a visit to their coffee shop that it was in fact not them. not only does he meet the real y/n, he runs into their friend yeonjun, an ex friend of his who he has some unresolved issues with. as soobin and the real y/n are getting to know each other, yeonjun and soobin are working through their misunderstandings, as well as trying to figure out who the catfish was.

➯ that's the spirit! — @agustdiv1ne | ❀ ❥

soobin x reader genre: sixth sense/ghost hunter!soobin, high school au, fluff with a lot of plot, angst, some elements of horror

synopsis: a couple weeks before halloween, you find the quiet boy from your high school staring up into your bedroom. you’re a little creeped out, and miles more scared, but then he shows you something that changes how you see, well, everything.

𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞…

₊˚.༄ 𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐈 𝐘𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐉𝐔𝐍

➯ Till The End of Summer — @ah-ga-seven | ❀ ✦ ❖ ღ

yeonjun x f!reader In a Nutshell: College!AU, Rich Kids, Friends to Lovers, Fuckboy athlete Yeonjun, Overprotective Best friend Soobin, contains all of TXT and other Idol cameos, Omnipresent perspective.

Synopsis: You and Yeonjun are caught up in a cat and mouse game because of unspoken feelings and endless pining for each others’ attention. With the summer break approaching and lots of college parties, will you finally get a chance to explore your feelings for each other; even though the world, Yeonjun’s family, past and reputation makes things complicated?

𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞…

₊˚.༄ 𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐈 𝐁𝐄𝐎𝐌𝐆𝐘𝐔

➯ adore you — @koishua | ❀ ❥

beomgyu x reader synopsis: bad boy!beomgyu is now in love and he has fallen so, so hard.

➯ stranger things!au — @bb-eilish | ✦ ღ

➯ totally unlabeled kisses — @heart2beom | ❀ ❥

genre: fluff, comedy, b2l

synopsis: in which you and beomgyu teeter between being normal best friends and well...best friends who makeout from time to time.

𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞…

₊˚.༄ 𝐊𝐀𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐀𝐄𝐇𝐘𝐔𝐍

➯ second lead syndrome — @heart2beom | ❀ ❥

taehyun x gn!reader genre: fluff, just tons of fluff

synopsis: taehyun, your neighbor, has been helping you out with beomgyu, the best friend you've been in love with for your entire life. when you finally score a date, albeit taehyuns plan working, you're in crisis.

➯ troubled pixies — @writingmochi | ❀ ✦ ❖ ღ

taehyun x f!reader genre: coming of age, bildungsroman, slice of life, romance, drama, high school au, late 90s au, angst, a tiny bit of fluff, mature content (explicit smut, suicidal characters, depressive episodes)

synopsis: the year is 1999. cardboard boxes were put on the driveway of the newly-settled home across from where taehyun lives. the five sisters will soon shake the neighborhood with their eccentric personalities yet mysterious auras. the moon sisters. since that day they arrived, taehyun is intrigued by them and especially you, the youngest of the sisters

➯ smile — @yeonqt | ❀ ❖ ღ

taehyun x fem oc genre: fluff? nonidol!taehyun to idol!taehyun, angst? smau, friendship, friends to lovers, internet friends

summary: two internet friends, one turned idol, finally discuss their feelings and wonder where they stand with one another.

𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞…

₊˚.༄ 𝐇𝐔𝐄𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐊𝐀𝐈

𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐬𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠…

last updated: 10th april '23

#personal favourites !!#txt imagines #txt scenarios #txt fluff #txt angst #txt smut

131 notes · View notes

taestefully-in-luv · 2 years

Text

Love Again | PJM (Thirteen)

Summary: A friend of yours is eager to introduce you to her new man but what happens when Park Jimin, the man who broke your heart 5 years ago walks in through the door?

Pairing: Jimin x Female reader

Genre: exes au, exes to ???, fluff, angst, smut

Word Count: 18k

Warnings: swearing, alcohol consumption, feelings of rejection, confrontation, mentions of sex, feelings everywhere, mention of pot brownie, very drunk reader, accidental misunderstandings about possible suicide (but its not), cliches, classic miscommunication, some jealousy.

Notes: im so sorry its taken so long! I am back from vacation now:] enjoy a long chapter to make up for it! I hope you continue to enjoy this story. Love hearing from you guys<3 Send an ask if you want to be added to a tag list or just want to chat:)

Previously on…in chapter 12 of Love again, you realize you and your friends have been getting busy—minus Taehyung…you and Jimin decide the night you shared was a one time thing, until it wasn’t. Hoseok and Dae. Naomi and Jeremy. It’s all a mess. Hoseok knows all the truths about Jimin now after Jimin confided in him. You tried to talk to Namjoon but failed. And now Jimin is telling you things that start making you question ‘feelings’.

Previous --- Next

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What…what do you mean by that?” You ask Jimin as directly as you can muster, though your voice still sounds softer than you intend. He looks at you, brows slightly furrowed as he silently questions if you are really not understanding.

Jimin finally tears his eyes from you, “I’ve had an interesting week,” He sighs, suddenly seeming more detached. “I was quick to want to talk to you about it because…well,” His eyes rise to your face again, “That’s what we’ve always done. But this isn’t the past. I’ve always told you all my thoughts and feelings as they were happening because it was easy with you—because I was yours. But I’m not yours.” He pauses, eyes lingering as he waits for you to say something. He’s not necessarily looking for a retort to his statement but…

“Anyway, you’re not mine either.” His gaze falls again, “Work things out with Namjoon, I guess. I still stand by what I’ve said. Your reasons feel…I guess it doesn’t matter. Since you’ve already decided, huh?”

You can’t really focus on Jimin’s face. Your eyes roam around the bar, your entire body feeling on edge as you try to create some sort of response. You aren’t sure what words to pull from thin air, good ones, bad ones, neutral ones. You aren’t sure what words are even considered good or bad. Hell, even neutral.

Hoseok’s right though…you aren’t this dumb. You know deep down you have already pieced this together yet you continue to ask Jimin to clarify. Probably your own insecurities coming back to haunt you time and time again. You continue to look away from him, still debating in your mind how to go about this. He wanted to talk to you after discussing thing’s with Hoseok…your best friend even said there’s more Jimin needs to say. Jimin admitted he has selfish reasons for not wanting you to be with Namjoon and on top of everything, he told you he knows exactly what sex meant with you.

The sex you two shared is something he told you is rare—but what exactly did it mean to him? You can assume all day but your heart that guards itself, your heart that still drowns in a pool of fears, your heart that once belonged to him…is afraid and needing a clear answer.

You bring yourself to take a deep breath and look at him again. You see he is already looking at you, his eyes studying you like he’s trying to rack your brain for your thoughts. There’s an uncomfortable atmosphere surrounding the two of you, air heavy with looming nightmares. Both scared and both hopeful—at least, you think.

“Jimin.” You say his name as you’ve always have but a hint of caution can be heard.

“Yeah?” He swallows hard, heart thumping in nerves.

“Do you…” You gaze at him carefully, unaware of how your pausing is making him lose his mind. “Do you still…” You pause again, once again careful as you approach this…Jimin swallowing once more but this time instead of spit it almost tastes like puke. “Do you still have feelings for me?”

No sudden wide eyes, no sudden lips parting in shock…instead you see the expression of a man who is experiencing something close to relief, like he’s been wanting you to ask this question. But then he’s trying to understand your question more and more…processing each and every word.

“Still?” He asks, appearing almost thoughtful before he’s slightly shaking his head and looking into your eyes more seriously. And then you see the expression of a man who has come to his final conclusion and you see the heart of a man who lacks contrition. “No.”

~~~

Well, that scene from last night keeps playing over and over in your messy mind. You sit here on your sofa, staring at your black screen TV, eyes going in and out of focus as the scene starts over again—

“What…what do you mean by that?” You ask Jimin as directly as you can must—Well, you get it.

It plays again and you wonder in this messy mind of yours where it all went wrong. You let yourself have a little confidence in what you thought you knew but you were so fucking wrong. You thought…shit, you were so sure that’s where everything was going—that’s what was adding up. Your gut told you he still had feelings for you and you decided to trust it…and wow, what a mistake that was.

Maybe you should have waited for an explanation of sorts, Jimin’s mouth opened again like he was about to tell you something and his eyes screamed that it was important but you never got around to it, your own reaction to his ‘no�� became overwhelming. But…what exactly were you expecting? For him to start nodding his head frantically with a giant smile on his face as he chants, ‘Yes, I still love you! I love you. I love you. I love you.’

Feeling embarrassed, you lean back onto your sofa, eyes still unfocused as your mind just shows you his face. When he said ‘no’ (a word you selfishly were not expecting) your body moved on its own. You almost felt the shock of his simple two lettered word—the word alone made you feel your heart drop down into your lower belly and you felt it begin the disintegration process. Your eyes repeatedly blinked at him, expression obvious that you were trying to process what he said—but how hard is to process one simple word like that?

Then boom. You were gone. Lost in the crowd as you slipped away from Jimin’s view. He didn’t go after you, running towards you in desperation. No, his feet stayed planted to the ground, eyes going to the bartender when he raised his hand for another drink.

Do you feel silly? Sure, maybe, yes. Embarrassed? Maybe, yes, sure. For more than one reason…for asking the question to begin with and for also running away like a coward. But you aren’t sure what you were expecting from any of this—no matter his answer. You wish this was the only thing taking over your mind but somewhere else in the foreground is another face. Namjoon’s face. And speak of the devil (more like angel, let’s be honest) you can hear soft knocking on your front door—the moment has arrived—time to talk to Namjoon.

You’re debating now if you actually want to get up and answer the door—the door that he is on the other side of. You wish this conversation could have happened earlier, that last night’s events weren’t so fresh but unfortunately, this is the timeline. Reluctant, you finally rise from the sofa and go towards the door. You’re on deep breath number 16 before you finally reach for the door knob and open up for Namjoon.

“Hey, beautiful.” He greets you, voice sounding far because of the fat droplets of rain falling all around him. He stands here, hair still drying from his shower…or maybe it’s gotten damp again thanks to the weather. He is wearing a gray pullover wrapped around his torso and he looks so warm and cozy for this rainy day. “What a day, huh?” He glances around him, smile on his face as he admires the gloominess. Maybe you’re the only one who recognizes the gloom though.

“Yeah.” You offer him a weak excuse of a smile. “Come in, come in.”

“Sorry, it took me a little longer to get here,” Namjoon looks at you over his shoulder as he slips his shoes off, “I had to stop because there was a little row of baby ducks trying to cross the road!”

“Baby ducks?” You walk ahead of him now, finding a place on your sofa. “That’s cute.”

“I thought it was cute too,” Namjoon grins to himself before he walks into your living room as well, “But I didn’t see their mom anywhere! So I got out and I tried leading them to the other side of the road…” He takes a seat next to you, leans in to plant a kiss to your temple. “But I must have startled them so they waddled back to the side they came from.”

You can’t help but snort, lips lifting into a more believable smile. “I wish I could have seen that.”

“I think the other three cars passing by and honking at me was enough.” Namjoon’s sheepish expression is enough to make you laugh a little. Settling down, you gaze at him for a moment.

“You seem like you’re in a better mood since the last time I saw you.” You tell him, eyes dressed in wonder. “Did some things get resolved?”

At this, Namjoon lips break apart, a look of surprise before he’s looking down at his hands with an interesting smile growing on his face. Interesting because his smile is always so genuine but this feels beyond that—beyond genuine—beyond happy, beyond peace, beyond fulfilment.

“Yeah, I guess, I kind of had a bit of a break through with Emiko last night.” He says. “I told you that this past week was rough for me…for her, too. Her uh, her own personal stuff going on.” His eyes meet yours as he continues to explain, a softness in his irises. “She wasn’t letting me in and it was so…well, it was rough for me, you know? I’ve known her my whole life basically and it hurt that she was pushing me away.”

“I get that.” You lean back onto your sofa, back of your head melting into the cushion. “Sucks when someone you’re close to isn’t telling you everything.”

“Exactly!” Namjoon quietly blurts, “Anyway, last night I asked her to meet up and she did and we got to talking. She was having some issues with her boyfriend—ex boyfriend—and she didn’t want to involve me. I knew things weren’t great with them but she never gave up.”

“Sounds like a lot of couples, huh?”

“I guess so. But it’s important to know when to let things go.” He barely raises his shoulders for a shrug, “Human beings are brighter than we think,” He chuckles, “Deep down we are always aware of when it’s time to give up. But then it gets complex when we fight what we know…somehow believing we can change things. But we always know the truth.”

We always know the truth, huh?

“Anyway,” Namjoon bows his head as he rests his hands on either side of this thighs, fingers lightly gripping the ends of the couch cushions, “After everything he did to her,” Your eyes fall to his hand closest to you when you see his grip tighten. “She just…deserves good things only. I hope she realizes that now.” He raises his head again to glance at you. “She told me so many things and I think she feels freer now. And it’s crazy,” He exhales a long breath as he chuckles, “So do I. Knowing she will be okay now.”

You study him for a moment, seeing how his body relaxes at his own words. You can’t help the unavoidable smile that spreads on your lips. He’s truly a gem in this world and no matter what happens between you both…knowing him is a gift. He’s a person worth knowing. And your years long crush on him has also been so worth it.

“I’m glad things got better, Joon.” Your voice is sincere and he cracks another smile before appearing more satisfied.

“Well, and one of the ones who backed out on the summer book tour called yesterday and wanted back in—so I think that helps too.” He grins now. “Things are looking up again! Emiko sorted most the details but I’ll be busy here soon. We will be gone most of the summer. I even have a reading booked in September, the day of my birthday—the last one of the tour, too.” He laughs, “Emiko thought I would like that.”

“It’s your birthday yet you’re the one giving a gift. The gift of your words.” You smile at him, “Emiko knows you well, that seems right up your alley.”

Namjoon waves you off with a sheepish look, “It’s more selfish than that. It’s more like I get to force people to listen to me with no shame.”

“Well, I’m proud of you, Joon. This is a huge accomplishment, really.”

“Thanks, y/n.” Namjoon’s hand goes to your thigh when he offers a small squeeze in appreciation. “You’re one of the people who has motivated me so much. And your presence has been very needed in this time in my life.”

“H-How so?”

“I can feel your support radiating off your body, you know?” Namjoon fights back a grin, “I see the way you look at me…I can tell you mean everything you say to me. I feel it when you give your support. You’re warm. You’re comfort, even.”

You slowly lift your head from the couch cushion, eyes staying on his as you get hit with a pang of guilt. You called him here to tell him you want to be with him. You called him here to tell him the truth. You called him here to tell him everything. Come clean with it all before you see if he still wants you. But how could you be someone’s comfort if you’re ultimately their disappointment. Maybe even their regret.

“I-I’m not any of those things, Namjoon.” Your voice is almost silent. Almost because there is technically sound but even if there wasn’t…your expression tells all. Namjoon scoots closer to you, his thigh meeting yours like it’s greeting it with a long kiss.

“You are.” He tells you simply, “No use in telling me differently. Once I’ve decided something, that’s that. Emiko blames that mindset on me being a Virgo,” He shrugs. “Whatever that means.”

“Wow,” You respond in an airy chuckle.

“So how was your week?” Namjoon’s hand slides into yours. “I know I went on about myself…”

“You didn’t.” You assure him, “My week was…something. Lots of weird stuff going around with my friends apparently.”

“Like?”

“Like…” You nibble on your lips before your eyes expand comically, “Like holy shit! Apparently Naomi and Jeremy hooked up?! They were being so freaking weird at work and then last night so many bombs went off and—”

“You’re…” Namjoon blinks at you, eyebrows pinching together. “You’re surprised about that?”

“Wh…of course I am surprised about that?! Hoseok and I are shocked as hell. Like, you know them, right? Naomi. Jeremy. Picture them. Now picture them…together. Weird, right?!”

“Oh wow.” Namjoon breathes out, surprise lurking on his face.

“Oh wow is right, dude.”

“No…oh wow, because you are…how did you guys not know?” He starts laughing now, making you gasp out loud. “Oh come on, y/n. Wasn’t it so obvious?”

“How was that obvious?”

“Jeremy always hated Naomi’s ex—sorry, I forgot his name. And they’re always together. Like, always. Also, the way they bicker—isn’t that just flirting?”

“No, this is a shock!”

“The only thing shocking is that they only now just hooked up.” Namjoon contemplates in deep thought. “You sure it’s the first time?”

“Pretty sure…” You slouch your shoulders, small pout forming. “The way they acted all week towards each other kind of gives away how new this is to them…”

“Ah, okay.” He nods, “So…then what?”

“Well, they’re fighting. Naomi apparently actually loves his cringey poetry. And somehow they related that to my shoulder dance…anyway, not entirely sure what’s going on there but…” You bite down onto you bottom lip, a sincere thought pouring out of your mouth so suddenly, “I hope they work it out. I know how important they are to one another. If it’s being best friends or if it’s being a couple…I don’t know, I just hope they come together whichever way makes them happiest.”

“Hm. Yeah, I agree. I think what’s important here is that no matter the dynamic—they’re just in one another’s lives and are content with the place they’re in.”

“That’s…” You glance at Namjoon and you show him an appreciative smile. “That’s the perfect way to say it.”

Namjoon’s thumb starts stroking your skin as he nudges his shoulder with yours, “Well, anything else?”

“Yeah. You know Taehyung’s sister? Dae?” You wait for Namjoon to nod, “Well, Hoseok slept with her. They have a history though. And his dumbass bolted the morning after.”

“Ouch.” Namjoon cringes in his spot, “Not the best move.”

“Definitely not.” You snort. “He’s just afraid of too many things he doesn’t know.”

“Aren’t we all?” Namjoon ruminates.

“But I think if he just talks to her…they could work it out and something nice could come from all of this.” You sigh out, now worried about your best friend and his love life—probably a great way to avoid your own.

“Seems all your friends have been getting busy,” Namjoon jokes, “What about Taehyung?”

“Poor guy is the one most interested in finding the love of his life but not sure he’s gotten so lucky.”

“Well, sometimes we finally get the things we’ve been searching for if we stop looking so hard.”

“Tell him that.” You deadpan.

“I’ll try to remember.”

“But seriously…he’s a saint of a person. He’s going to make someone so happy one day and my only concern is that whoever that person is deserves it and makes him just as happy…if not more.”

“We always wish that for the people we care about.” Namjoon whispers, his eyes falling to his legs as he thinks of those that applies to in his own life and then he clears his throat, eyes back on you. “So, anything else?” He asks with a smile, his interest still intact.

His smile…his genuine smile. It’s enough for your own smile to get wiped off your face as you feel the truth start rising like bile in your throat. Your hand escapes his as you thread your fingers together and you try to calm your nerves that are exploding one at a time inside your body.

“Yeah.” You admit softly, “There is something else. But Namjoon,” Fuck, your voice cracks just the slightest and he’s already shifting his expression into one of concern. “It’s not great. It’s bad, probably—no, definitely.”

“Okay…” Namjoon’s one word spills out of his mouth slowly. He’s always so calm and collected but right now, as you glance at him, you think you see an ounce of worry. This only makes you feel worse.

“I have to tell you something. Something about me. Something that affects you.” You cower from his gaze.

“Okay.” He says again, much more firm. “y/n, you can tell me anything. The important that is that you tell me…whatever it is.”

You aren’t sure how to say it. Do you just come out with the truth, ‘I slept with Jimin.’ Or do you start from the beginning of the story and lead up to the fact that is beginning to haunt you? Both feel like the wrong answer. Both feel wrong because it is wrong. Maybe you aren’t exclusive but emotionally it was still wrong and your heart is decaying in your chest as you realize this. It’s wrong because the aftermath is still the same—Namjoon will not be happy—and because you care about him because you do, it’s going to fucking hurt.

“Namjoon.” You speak as if your own mouth is reluctant, going against you, even though telling the truth is the right thing.

“Hey,” Namjoon’s large hand grabs onto your thigh. “It’s okay. Just talk to me. Just say it however you need to.”

“Okay,” You gulp, “But if I say it for what it is…no matter what it is…would you allow me to explain?”

“Yeah.” He assures you, “I wouldn’t rob you of an explanation, y/n.”

You chuckle humorlessly at this, staring ahead, “Sometimes I wish you weren’t so perfect.”

“I’m not.” He sighs, but you hear the smile.

“I slept with Jimin.” You say, eyes focused on the TV screen. You don’t find the courage to glance at him to gauge his reaction but you do feel his hand slowly slipping away from your thigh and you’re left with a coldness where his fingers once were. “Last weekend.”

“Slept…with…Jimin…” Namjoon mumbles, more to himself, you think.

You finally turn your body to face him more, “Yeah.” You own up to it, eyes observing Namjoon as you see his brain search for more of a response. “Can I explain?” You ask as softly as you can and he finally meets your eyes, confusion grown so heavily in them as he nods his head.

“Last Friday, Jimin and I were hanging out and it wasn’t anything unusual.” You gaze at Namjoon, apology evident on your features. “I promise it wasn’t unusual…I didn’t know…I never intended…” You choke a little on your words because you aren’t sure what to think of what you’re even trying to say. “We were just hanging out and things—things escalated, obviously.” You wince at your own implication, “But it wasn’t…well, we ate these brownies…um, you know brownies with weed.”

“You guys ate edibles?” He asks quietly.

“Yes. And it just heightened everything and I don’t know, things just grew into so much more than I was ever thinking it would and—”

“So, you guys got high and had sex.” Namjoon points out the obvious, but his tone is not anywhere near sounding condescending. He sounds like he’s just trying his best to piece things together.

“Yeah.” You nod in agreement, “We did. And we also agreed it was a one-time thing…”

“And has it been a one time thing?” He gazes into your eyes, almost looking desperate for an answer.

“Mostly.”

“Mostly?” His brows pull together, “So, no?”

“Just…mostly. Listen, it won’t happen again.”

“It won’t?” Namjoon narrows his eyes at you, his expression has hardened but there is still a softness to him.

“I’ve decided what I want, Namjoon.” You stare at him with an obvious vulnerability and he picks up on it instantly. You take a deep breath before adding, “If we can work past this…” You suddenly feel stupid for asking what you’re about to ask because how selfish are you?

“Tell me what it is you’ve decided.” Namjoon softens more, eyes losing their edge as he gazes at you. “I’m listening.”

“You.” You whisper, “You’re an incredible person and I enjoy being with you…I feel good when I’m with you and you…” You lose your words as you see a smile—his genuine fucking smile.

“You’re wondering if we can still be together once we work past this, right?” His hands finds your thigh again, squeezing it. “But y/n…what exactly did you explain?”

“Huh?”

“You told me what happened, I guess. But where is the explanation for why—”

“The brownie!” You suddenly blurt.

“The brownie?” He shakes his head, still trying to hold his smile but you can see it waver. “No, come on,” His eyes glaze over in a need for more. “Why did you sleep with Jimin? Brownie or not, why did you feel the need to be with him like that?”

“I…” Your mouth falls open pathetically as you try to force words to come out of it but you are only capable of making ‘I’ drip from your lips repeatedly.

Namjoon tilts his head as he watches you, his once worried expression shifting into something more understanding. “Hey…” He squeezes your thigh again but you just blink at him, brain exhausting itself as you come up with your proper response. But his knowing smile is making your eyes sting a bit, thin layer of tears coating them and you choke on any letter that tries to make its way out of you.

“It’s okay.” He tells you, tender eyes on your face. “I get it.”

Get it? He doesn’t get it. You want to scream at him that whatever he thinks he gets—he doesn’t. Does anyone get it? Your eyes burn, your throat burns, your heart fucking burns. You have so many things you wish you could say but you don’t know how. You don’t fucking know how. You drop your shoulders, feeling the weight of everything at once. You feel the shame weighing down your body, pound by pound.

“I’m sorry.” Coherent words finally manage to leave you. “I’m so sorry.”

Namjoon can feel his heart hurting as he stares at you, “It’s okay.” He whispers.

“It’s not.” You plead, “I know you’re so disappointed in me, or mad, or anything and I get it. I deserve that but please, Namjoon, I am so sorry. At least take that. Take my apology.” Your voice cracks throughout and you hate appearing this way but it’s just your heart speaking at this point.

“I’m not mad, y/n.” He tells you softly, “I’m not disappointed in you. I’m not.”

“Could we work through this and—”

“But…” He stops you from finishing that thought, his hands finally going back to his own lap. “I told you earlier that humans are brighter than we think…that we make things more complex for thinking we can change things that we can’t. I’d like to think I’m a little wise, sometimes.” He chuckles but his eyes are a little glassy. “I think I’m one who knows when to let things go and give up.”

“Namjoon—”

“Hey,” Namjoon reaches for your cheek, his fingers brushing against it softly, “Stop looking so guilty,” He laughs. “It’s okay.”

Your body shakes from even more guilt, your eyes stinging as you’re dangerously close to actually crying.

“Never feel bad for how you feel. Your feelings won’t align with every person. You can’t always please every person—because then you, the person who matters most, is the one who won’t be pleased.”

Your chest tightens and your face twists into something devastated before you finally close your eyes and let yourself cry. “I’m sorry.” You choke.

“Hey, it’s okay, it’s okay.” Namjoon leans into you, his arms wrapping around your body as he pulls you closer to his chest. You were right, his gray pullover is warm and cozy. He gently removes himself from you and meets your blurry gaze. “No regrets, y/n. I’m glad we did this even if it’s over now…I still got to know you more and we’ve become closer. I’m grateful for that. We’re friends, okay?”

You search his eyes, your frantic, afraid ones looking into his so helplessly but you only see his sincerity.

“I’m going to head home…if you don’t mind.” He tries to smile for you.

“Of—Of course.” You swallow down the millions of things you want to say to him. The biggest thing being ‘Thank you.’

Namjoon stands from your couch and starts heading towards your front door to slip his shoes back on…you follow behind him quietly. He opens the door and the sound of rain pouring echoes in both of your ears. He turns around quickly to say his goodbyes, your red eyes making him feel sad but he remains strong as he finally takes his leave. You shut the door behind him and he flinches at the sound, even though the click of the door was as soft as you, but just like you, the impact is huge.

He releases a long breath as his eyes study the gray sky. He’s starting to notice the gloom in this rainy day. The repetitive sound of rain falling from the heavens isn’t enough to drown out his current thoughts—his praise to himself that he remained strong even though his heart is feeling weak. But he wonders if being strong is what he did—maybe true strength is his own honesty. Suddenly, Namjoon twists his body in his spot and knocks on your door. His heart feels weak, heavy even but this sudden courage is the thing giving it new strength.

“Joon?” You say his name in question as you open the door for him again, he doesn’t move from his spot. Just the image of him, standing at your doorway with rain falling all around him.

“Can I vent?” He asks you, voice sure of what he wants to say.

You relax your body as you nod your head. “Of course.”

“I’m not mad at you, y/n. I’m not disappointed in you.” He begins, his tone as soft as always. “But I am disappointed. I like you. I’m sad.” He admits almost ashamed. “I’m sad because you found what I wanted you to have with me…with someone else. But I’m not mad about it. No, in the story of your life this makes sense, I guess. And in the story of my life, I’m wondering what’s going to make sense for me. I just have to wait.” He shrugs shyly and your heart pinches. “To be honest with you…I thought this summer I was going to figure out how to make a temporary long distance work with you but instead I’ll be figuring out how to get over you.”

“I’m sorry…” You feel yourself shrink. “I don’t want you to be—”

“You’re my friend, y/n. And I got the privilege of knowing what it’s like to have more with you. Just because this aspect of our relationship is over doesn’t mean we can’t be friends. I value you too much to let go of this all the way. But forgive me for a while…” He pauses, trying his best not to grow emotional. “If I bask in this time away from you. Maybe I’ll need it.”

“I’d for—forgive you for anything, Joon.” You bite your bottom lip. “Take all the time you need. I’m here whenever you need me, please know that.”

“I do know that. Thanks for everything, y/n.”

“Thank you. Thank you, Joon. Thank you because I’m learning something even in this moment…” Your eyes water as you show him a shameless smile.

“And what’s that?” His lips curl into a small grin.

“This experience has shown me I can love again. I can. Thank you. It might not be the way I thought but…”

Namjoon expression morphs into the perfect pity smile. “You’re on the list of people who I hope finds the perfect happiness, y/n.”

“You too.” You watch as he nods, turning around to take his leave and his broad back is in view. He stands here, eyes on the sky and you think he is finally recognizing the gloom of this rainy day.

~~~

“Damn.” Hoseok says on the other line, “You know I want to, y/n. But I’m trying to sort out my own messy shit too.” He sighs, “I don’t know. Maybe I can just talk to Dae tomorrow…I just feel bad making her wait—”

“No,” You cut him off, “Don’t make her wait. I get it. I can handle one night on my own, you know, believe it or not.” You attempt laughing but Hoseok groans.

“I do believe it and that’s the problem! You’re actually reaching out and I’m rejecting you.”

“You don’t have to make it sound that dramatic.” You deadpan. “Come on, it’s okay. We can celebrate the end of my life another time. I’ll just throw a pity party for one in the meantime.”

“And you call me dramatic.” Hoseok huffs out, “Listen, I would love to be with you tonight but Dae already said she would come over soon so we can talk and honestly? I’m so fucking nervous, dude.”

You start smiling to yourself, feeling proud Hoseok is going through with this. “You like her, right?”

He’s silent on the other end. “Come on, Hoseok.” You laugh. “Admit this one, won’t you?”

“Fine, yeah, maybe.”

“And doesn’t it feel pretty good that you have a pretty good idea how she feels? She’s not leaving you wondering. Now you’re the one doing that to her.”

“Shit…” He grumbles to himself. “I hate that you’re kind of right. Anyway, I’m just going to try and do what feels right. I’ll let you know later how it goes.”

“Good. So if Dae is going over then…”

“Taehyung is with him.” Hoseok’s tone is soft now. “After you left last night…Jimin seemed…well, he didn’t tell me what happened.”

“I already told you.” You hold the phone closer to your face, as if anyone else would hear you. “I basically got ahead of myself.”

“But what does that mean?”

“It means I’m back to my no luck streak.” You chuckle. “But it seems you might be starting a good luck one. Make things right with Dae, Hobi. Call me later, okay?”

“Okay. Bye, y/n. Love you with all my heart.”

“I know. Love you too.” You say before bringing the phone down to your lap and touching the end button. You check the rest of your notifications when you see a text from Naomi and also a text from Jeremy—separate chats, of course.

Naomi 8:04pm

I’ll explain everything tomorrow. I’m visiting my parents right now but I’ll be home again sometime tomorrow afternoon. Also!! If Jeremy asks if you know where I am say you don’t know, I’m trying to seem like I mysteriously vanished.

Jeremy 8:47pm

Have u heard from Naomi

Jeremy 8:49pm

I went by her place but I don’t think she’s home……

You read over the texts before deciding to just click your phone off and worry about your own problems—at least for tonight. You stand and walk towards your bathroom, flipping on the light switch and externally groan when you see your reflection. Swollen eyes and an exhausted expression written all of your face. You look like you’re on the verge of an emotional breakdown and maybe you are. What a weekend so far, you think to yourself.

You don’t fix your make up or do anything with your hair or even change out of your clothes—an oversized t shirt with a picture of Shrek’s face and the caption ‘so shrekxy’ and a pair of comfy shorts. In your opinion, this is the perfect look to have an emotional breakdown in.

You give yourself an encouraging nod and thumbs up in the mirror before you decide it’s time to get the party started—the pity party.

“You’re scaring away my customers, y/n.” Your old college pal Lorenzo tells you sternly as he dries yet another glass. “If you’re going to be a cry baby, go home.”

You lift your head from the bar top, tired eyes on Lorenzo. He isn’t actually kicking you out, you know this. You rarely get to come to his small bar across town since the last time you came, over two years ago, he and your dearest friend Hobi got into some ridiculous fight. Hoseok’s pride took over and swore he would never come back here again. You try to visit every now and then though even if it’s by yourself.

“A cry baby?” You mumble, eyes filling with tears again and Lorenzo rolls his eyes.

“Not again…”

“Excuse me miss—”

You whip your head to the left to see a man standing next to you, he’s probably around your age, probably not hideous looking but you’re in no mood.

“What?” You snap, a small hiccup leaving your mouth. “Want to buy me a drink?” You accuse him before running the back of your hand to wipe the snot at your nose.

“Uh, I was—”

“I hate to break it to you, buddy.” You cut in, “Love isn’t real. Not sure anything is real. I think—”

“No…” The guy pales, his hands raised in surrender before he’s gesturing towards the chair next to you. “I was going to ask if anyone was using this chair…” Then he glances behind him at his group of friends at a table nearby. “We need an extra chair….”

You blink at him lazily, processing the situation before you nod along. “Right. Right. Whatever, take it.” You wave him off as if you shouldn’t be totally humiliated. You shrug to yourself before resting your head against the bar top again and mumbling to yourself about the concept of love. It’s been rough.

This is beyond moping. Namjoon ended things with you and Jimin doesn’t have feelings for you. Both suck. For different reasons. But the latter hurts just a smidge more. And you’re deciding if you’re a bitch for that.

“Whatever’s wrong, y/n. Things will get better.” Lorenzo tries to comfort you but this isn’t his strong suit.

“Whatever’s wrong, y/n.” You start to mock him, head lightly banging on the wood. “Things will get bet—when Lorenzo?!” You dramatically cry out, once again mumbling to yourself about love and all its hardships.

“Hey man.” You hear a new voice on your right side but you continue to live your life. “The usual please.”

“Rough day?” Lorenzo asks the newcomer. “Don’t tell me it’s another disaster date, man.” He tells the new guy, “Two weekends in a row?”

“I remember those.” You mumble in your arms. “Then I had great dates—but I went and ruined that too!” You whine, head hitting the bar top again.

“Damn…” The new guy begins but pauses, you’re sure you feel his eyes on you. “Isn’t there like, a limit, dude? Where you cut people off?” You’re sure he’s asking Lorenzo this.

You lift your head and your swollen eyes find Lorenzo already staring at you. “I wish she was wasted, dude. This is just a mental breakdown. The glass is water.” He says with a straight face.

“Mental breakdown?” The guy next to you repeats Lorenzo’s words thoughtfully, “Perfect. I will have a glass of water too then. I’m also ready for a mental breakdown.”

Is he…making fun of you? You are in no state to get made fun of! You finally lift yourself from the bar top and turn your bar stool in this stranger’s direction. As soon as you face him, you lift your pointer finger up, ready to scold him. “I’ll have you know—” But you stop mid-sentence, eyes slightly expanding as you eye the man over.

“y/n???” The guy looks at you wide eyed. You blink at him a few times before realization is actually hitting you. Your eyes scan him over and you’re comparing what he looks like now and over five years ago. Way more tattoos than you remember and hair shorter than it was in college.

“Jungkook?” You gape at him. “Jeon Jungkook???”

His surprised expression finally relaxes and his lips curl into a smirk, “How was the brownie? Jimin said he was going to share some with you and your friends.”

“Ah, yes.” You slump your shoulders, spinning forward in the chair again. “So you’re to blame. This is all because of the brownie…the brownie you provided.”

“Huh?” Jungkook’s doe eyes look even larger as he tries to figure out how this turned into something bad that he did.

“Maybe you are a girlfriend stealer.” You sniffle to yourself, “Thanks to that brownie you stole away my chance at being a girlfriend.”

“I can’t emphasize enough how confused I am.” Jungkook turns towards Lorenzo, “But please make my usual and that water, I am also needing a mental breakdown. So,” Jungkook turns back towards you, “Rough day?”

“Rough life.” You murmur, head tilting towards him and he grins at you.

“Can’t be worse than mine.”

“You’re smiling about that?” You give him a disturbed expression, “But in the last 24 hours I’ve gotten dumped by two guys.”

Jungkook nods along to your words as he sits down in the chair next to you, once he gets comfortable he offers some strange looking smile. You narrow your eyes at him.

“What?” You ask cautiously.

“I just fled a date—yes, fled—with a girl who psychoanalyzed me in the first 15 minutes,” Then he sighs, “What’s worse is everything she said was right.” He starts laughing now, his front teeth poking out between his lips adorably. “Before she even properly introduced herself she looked me over and goes, ‘mm, yeah, mommy issues.’” He says in a sassy, feminine voice. “Can you believe it?”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, oh.” Jungkook agrees with you, “But it gets worse.”

“It gets…worse?”

“Not even 10 minutes later in she goes,” He gets back into his female persona, “Oh yeah, daddy issues too.”

“Damn.” You can’t help but laugh a little. “She read you for filth, huh?”

“You should have seen her face! It’s like when she made these realizations, I could see literal excitement behind her eyes.”

“She likes a boy with baggage.” You shrug, “Is there a kink for that?”

“Probably. Her porn search history is probably ‘boy who purposely seeks mental breakdowns’ or ‘boys with all the issues’”

You snort at this, “I’m laughing at the purposely seeking mental breakdowns one.”

“Speaking of,” Lorenzo slides a mixed drink over to Jungkook. “Enjoy. And also, let me hook you up with my cousin already.”

“Your cousin is married, Lorenzo.” Jungkook rolls his eyes, shaking his head as he stares at you, silently asking if you believe this guy.

“Yeah but we hate him!”

“At least try to hook me up with y/n first.” He glances at you with a sly grin. “You are single.”

“Thanks for the reminder.”

“Anyway, you’re not drinking at all though?” Jungkook asks you, “Want something? I’ll buy since I apparently ruined your life with the brownie I provided.”

“Ha!” You raise your arms above your head in a stretch, “My emotional state plus alcohol? That’s a recipe for disaster!”

20 Minutes Later

“And yeah,” you lightly slam your now empty shot glass down to the bar top, it joins the other two empty shot glasses. “That’s how I got dumped by two guys in 24 hours.”

“Damn,” Jungkook throws his shot of liquor back as well. “That is rough.”

You ended up spilling your entire sob story to Jungkook and in return he complained about several things going on with him as well. You two talked and talked and eventually switched over to mixed drinks. He explained his strained relationship with his parents and his shitty luck with almost anything in his life.

“But actually,” Jungkook slightly slurs before he grins proudly to himself, “I’ve actually taken a little opportunity to get away from my parents for a while.”

“Really?”

“Mhm. Well, my dad’s company—where I work—wait, shit did I call it my dad’s company? Sorry, I meant my parent’s company.” He starts snickering, “My mom would kill me if I excluded her in that and only gave credit to my father. Not sure what she actually contributes though…”

“You mean besides the emotional trauma?” You drunkenly joke.

“You’re right.” Jungkook nods quickly. “How could I forget about that…so, she really does work hard.” He can’t help but break out into a deep, rumbling laughter that he feels in his entire body.

Your eyes widen a little, “Wait, maybe we shouldn’t joke about that.”

“Why not?” Jungkook reaches for his drink and takes a generous sip. “Joking is how I cope.”

“Ah, this is why we got along in college.”

“It was also because you were hot.”

“Anyway.”

“So, back to you.” Jungkook takes another sip of his drink.

“Me? Why don’t we get Lorenzo to tell us his life problems instead?” You whine, but you hear Lorenzo speak up immediately.

“Leave me out of your little sob fest. Some of us actually have serotonin running through our bodies.” He shakes his head at you and Jungkook but you can see a small, smart ass smile on his face.

“Come on, y/n.” Jungkook places his drink back down, his head resting in his hand. “You’re sad about two guys right now, right? But let’s be real, one is making you a whole lot sadder than the other.”

You narrow your eyes at Jungkook before scoffing, “I mean, I guess. But I’m sad for different reasons.”

“Different reasons?”

“Namjoon…I’m sad because I feel bad. Like shit, actually. I feel like I disappointed someone so great and I don’t want him to hurt. I messed it up.”

“And Jimin?”

“I don’t know.”

“You do.”

You roll your eyes at this, “Okay. I’m sad because he doesn’t have feelings for me.”

“And why does that make you feel sad?”

“I don’t know.”

“You do.”

You glare at Jungkook now.

He laughs a little, “Listen, I don’t think you’re a bad or selfish person, y/n, right? You’re not so conceited that you’re sad about someone not having romantic feelings for you.”

You’re quiet.

“You’re sad because that someone isn’t returning your romantic feelings for them.”

You raise a brow at Jungkook, holding in another scoff, “Who’s psychoanalyzing now?”

“You’re avoiding.” He tells you simply. “Why?”

“Why…?” You repeat his question and your hazy brain is surprisingly capable of reminding you why.

“I told you that you’re afraid of having a love again like what you had with me and you said ‘maybe’ but I think the thing you’re afraid of is me.” Jimin’s eyes bore into yours, his gaze so intense as they gloss over. “And,” He gulps. “I fucking get it. Because I,” He pauses, gaze still set on you as he tries to push down his emotions. “I am also so fucking afraid of you.”

“I’m afraid.” You tell Jungkook, eyes ahead, unfocused as you stare at nothing.

“Afraid? That’s it? y/n…” He drags out your name, almost in the tune of song you might recognize. “I have mommy and daddy issues.” He points out with a smirk, “If I can juggle two things and still get out there then you can handle your one.”

You keep staring ahead before you start chuckling, “Lorenzo,” You call out for your old friend. “Another round of shots!”

Jungkook’s loud laughter is ringing in your ears but your own witch like cackle isn’t any better. Lorenzo watches the two of you as he dries more glasses from the night, laughing to himself as you and Jungkook are both unaware that he switched you guys to water over an hour ago.

“But seriously, y/n.” Jungkook tries to calm himself from laughing about…whatever it is someone said that you two found hilarious. “After everything you’ve told me about this whole Jimin thing and all your fears and insecurities…doesn’t it sound like you should just,” He pauses to burp, “Sorry, but anyway, shouldn’t you just like, go to therapy?”

“Therapy?” You slur, “You’re one to talk!” You shove his shoulder with your hand. “I’ll go to therapy if you go to therapy for the fact that your dad didn’t talk to you for two years because you didn’t want to join his company!”

“I went to my own brain therapy!” Jungkook sings out, “I’m basically cured.”

“What the hell is brain therapy?”

“The therapy in my own brain where I talk to Dr. Jeon.” Jungkook smirks at you, “He’s a sexy doctor.”

“He sounds made up.”

“He’s me?”

“Yeah.” You give a curt nod. “A you that doesn’t exist. Are you actually a doctor?”

“Well, no.”

“Exactly.”

“Well, at least I’m trying! What are you doing to end all of those insecurities and fears you have?!” Jungkook drunkenly shouts at you, despite being a foot away.

“Oh my god, you guys are so drunk.” Lorenzo shakes his head. “Order a ride soon, we closed 20 minutes ago.”

“I’m trying too!” You shout back, words slurred.

“How?!”

“I don’t know!”

“Okay, okay.” Jungkook’s hand goes to the back of your chair, “You just, listen, y/n, you just got to like, listen, okay?”

“Yeah.” You nod.

“Okay, great, listen, okay?”

“Exactly.” You say.

“Okay, so basically, like, just listen really quick, I have the answers—”

“Yes.”

“Okay, good, listen—“

“Tell her the fucking point already, dude.” Lorenzo drags a hand down his tired face.

“Were you not listening?” You look at Lorenzo, “He was doing that.”

“I’m just going to order the ride for you guys.” Lorenzo nods to himself as he brings his phone out.

“y/n.” Jungkook gets your attention again.

“Hm?” You lazily blink at him, your eyes glassy and far away from this world.

“You got to just really end all of these fears of yours. They’re holding you back and for what? Why do you, why do you, why do you….”

“Jungkook.”

“Right.” Jungkook nods. “Why do you want…honestly I forgot what I was saying.”

“Me too.” You tell him. “Wait, it was about me ending my fears. And you’re right.” You sigh out, legs swinging as you pout to yourself. “I’m letting all these bad things dictate how I live myself.”

“Exactly!” Jungkook yells out, “You’re afraid and insecure and not to mention apparently in a one sided love.”

“I don’t want to remember that.”

Lorenzo laughs at this, “Don’t worry, you’re drunk enough you really might forget.”

“y/n!” Jungkook grabs you by the shoulders and his eyes bore into yours. “I know everything inside your head now.” He tells you, “And I think you just need to make him fall in love with you! But first, allow yourself to love him too!”

“You’re crazy!” You start giggling. “But also, maybe you’re right.”

“End these insecurities! End these fears! End that voice in your head discouraging you! End it all!” Jungkook cheers loudly and you start feeling hyped up thanks to him.

“You’re right!!!! I’m going to end it all!” You start cheering along with Jungkook, both of you raising your drinks in celebration.

“To ending it all!!!!”

As soon as you take a sip of your drink, giving a satisfied ‘Ahh’ even though it’s just….water. You pull out your phone and search for Jimin’s name in your text threads. You want him to know you can overcome this fear. You will end these horrible thoughts telling you that you could never be happy again. You press ‘send’ on the text you just wrote and slide your phone in your purse, feeling more than satisfied.

“I’m going to overcome this,” you say a bit softer, “And I’m going to have Jimin fall in love with me!”

Sober you is probably going to really question where all of this is coming from.

“That’s the spirit!” Jungkook fists pump the air before he’s turning towards Lorenzo. “But if it doesn’t work out with Jimin, hit me up. Anywho, buddy, another round of shots, please.”

“Another? Round of…? You know what, sure.” Lorenzo nods, taking two shot glasses and filling them with water. “Here ya go.”

“Cheers!” You and Jungkook shout in unison, clinking your glasses together and downing the shots.

“Ouch,” Jungkook rubs his throat before winking at Lorenzo, “This stuff burns! You’re not giving us the cheap stuff, right?”

“Totally.” Lorenzo nods his head with a straight face.

“Party, party!” You sing to yourself, slurring every word.

“Party, party, yeah.” Jungkook nods in agreement.

You and Jungkook talk and laugh for another 45 minutes before Lorenzo tells you both that it’s time to go home. He escorts the both of you outside and tells you a ride will be here for you soon. You sway in your spot, shoulder bumping into Jungkook every now and then and he giggles.

“This looks a bit better than your mental breakdown earlier.” Jungkook tells you.

“Yeah.” You agree quietly, your eyelids feeling so heavy—along with every limb on your body. “I think you really helped me sort some things out.”

“It’s okay to be sad for a little bit,” Jungkook stares ahead at the empty parking lot. “But if there’s solutions, you should take some time to try to find them.”

“Hm.”

“And y/n?”

“Yeah?”

“There’s always solutions.” Jungkook chuckles to himself, “Whether it be your sexy brain doctor that’s just you playing dress up. Which would be really hot by the way.”

“Shut up.”

“Sorry.”

“But you’re right. Thanks, Jungkook.” You squint your eyes when you see a car approaching the two of you, the headlights almost blinding.

“Let’s get you home.”

The driver pulls up to your apartment complex and you struggle to open your eyes but Jungkook’s insistent nudging is enough to make you groan out loud.

“What?” You whine out, “What is it?”

“Is this the right address? This is your apartment?” He gestures out the window for you to look.

“Oh, yeah.” You glance around, “I live here.”

“Okay, I’ll walk you to your door. Come on,” Jungkook opens the door and slides out, extending his hand for you to take it so he can help you out of the car. “I’ll be back, man!” Jungkook tells the driver.

“Home sweet home.” You slur, your arm wrapping around Jungkook’s waist as you try to walk forward. “That building is mine, I live like right there.” You point, “First floor.”

“Cool.” Jungkook’s arm goes around your shoulder. “Don’t walk too fast, you’ll trip.”

“If I trip, you’d probably fall with me.”

“Exactly.” Jungkook shudders, “I can’t injure another ankle!”

“Ouchie.” You give him your sympathy. “Almost there.”

You walk towards your building and you see your door in sight and you have never felt more elated. You’re going to sleep so fucking good. As you two get closer to your door, you start to make out two bodies coming near you and possibly the sound of your name being said over and over.

You raise a fist to your eyes as you rub them in hopes you’ll be able to see better, vision looking a little clearer as you realize two bodies are coming towards you.

And suddenly your face is being cradled by a pair of hands you instantly recognize, the soft feeling all too familiar.

“Jimin?” You slur, eyes opening wider as you realize Jimin is in front of you, hands on your face as he inspects you from head to toe.

“Are you okay?” He breathes out roughly, “Are you alright? y/n?”

“Am I alright?” You tear your eyes off him to look around you, Jungkook off to your side when you see he’s talking to Taehyung who looks as worried as Jimin.

“Why have you not been answering your phone? I’ve been texting and calling you like fucking crazy.” Jimin’s hands haven’t left your face. His fingers brushing your cheeks in a repetitive motion. “You’ve had me so fucking worried. Where’s your phone?”

“My phone?” You blink at him in confusion. “Uh,” You lift your purse between your bodies. “In here.”

Jimin exhales a deep, deep breath before his forehead sticks to yours. “Tell me you’re okay.”

“I’m…I’m okay.” You try to assure him. “What’s going on?”

“Your text.” He tells you, peeling himself away from you.

“Huh?” You bring your purse closer to you, hand digging around to find your phone. When you grab it, you click it on and see…a lot of notifications.

Jimin

66 unread messages

Jimin

34 missed calls

Taehyung

23 missed calls

Hobi:))

49 missed calls

Hobi:))

114 unread messages

You click your phone off, gulping as you stare at Jimin. “What exactly happened?”

“What happened?” Jimin looks at you incredulously. “You sent this fucking message and then went MIA! I had to call Hoseok and see if he’s heard from you or knew where you were…but shit, you couldn’t have checked your phone?!”

“What message?” You tilt your head, “Jungkook, you let me drunk text?!”

“Jungkook?” Jimin squints his eyes at you before his head turns in Jungkook and Taehyung’s direction. As if realizing for the first time that Jungkook is even here. “Why are you with Jungkook?”

Jungkook comes next to you, “Hey man.” He greets Jimin with a drunken smirk, “What’s this about a drunk text?”

“This.” Jimin holds his phone out to both of you. You and Jungkook lean in and try to read the message.

y/n 🥰 2:22am

im gonna end it all

“Damn, y/n.” Jungkook looks at you, “That’s kind of dark.”

“Huh? No, I’m clearly talking about ending all the things we said.” You tell Jungkook, “Ending my insecurities and fears and stuff. I just wanted to give Jimin the good news…”

“You told him?! Wow, proud of you.” Jungkook grins, raising his hand up for a high five which you gladly give him even though you completely missed his hand. ”Look at us, maybe we don’t need therapy after all.”

“We’re basically each other’s therapists!” You squeal excitedly, “It’s better than your imaginary doctor self, right?”

“Hmm,” Jungkook nods but he’s contemplating. “I don’t kn—”

“What the hell is going on here?” Jimin cuts you two off from more drunken conversation. “Why are you even with Jungkook?”

“Why…?” You glance between the two guys, noticing how Taehyung has come to Jimin’s side. “Because we were hanging out.”

“Why?” Jimin looks between you and Jungkook, a concern look on his face.

“Because…” You start trying to think of your answer. It is kind of crazy how you and Jungkook ended up meeting tonight and hanging out. You both spilled all of your thoughts and feelings and it honestly has felt so liberating. It’s like Jungkook was inside your head all night, he was inside your heart, just so completely inside you, knowing everything about you. “He was inside me tonight.” You say with a soft, genuine smile while everyone else chokes on their spits.

“W-What?” Jimin coughs, “Just…what?”

“It’s like…he came inside me…and…” And he understood every thought and feeling.

“He what inside you?!” Taehyung shouts, his jaw threatening to fall to the ground.

“Ya heard her.” Jungkook drapes an arm over your shoulder. “We’re connected now.” He smirks at Jimin and Taehyung, his head glancing behind him quickly before he looks at Jimin and Taehyung again—then his head whipping behind him again. “Wait, shit. The driver left.”

“I can give you a ride.” Taehyung shakes his head as a smile tugs at his lips. “Jimin are you…?”

“I’ll stay with her for a while.” Jimin’s eyes are on you only, his gaze as intense and worried as 5 minutes ago “That’s okay, y/n?”

“Hm? Yeah, it’s okay.” You nod, shrugging yourself out of Jungkook’s hold as you step closer to Jimin. “I—”

“I’m going to call Hoseok, hold on.” Jimin sighs out, tapping on his screen. “He was fucking worried too, y/n. He wanted to come here to find you but I told him I’d take care of it. But I also told him I’d keep him in the loop.”

“I don’t even want to know what his texts say.” You slump your shoulders. “But I know he called me a ‘dumbass’ in at least half of them.”

Jimin just looks at you, eyes still pooled with his concern but he tries to ease his worries since he sees you in front of him now. He brings the phone to his ear and waits for Hoseok to answer and on the third ring, he does.

“Hey. Yeah, she’s here. Yup, drunk off her ass.” Jimin’s eyes slide over to you again, “I know. Apparently it was a misunderstanding…I don’t really know. Yeah, yeah. Okay, I’ll tell her. Right now?” Jimin exhales a deep sigh, “Okay.” He nods before lowering the phone to his shoulder as he directs his words towards you now. “y/n.”

“Yeah?”

“Hoseok told me to tell you…”

“What?”

“That you’re a dumbass.” Jimin says with a straight face before bringing the phone back to his ear. “Yeah, I told her. She uh, kind of just nodded like she’s aware. Mhm. Okay, I’ll talk to you later man. Thanks. Yeah, thanks. See ya.”

“Well, I guess we’re going to head out then.” Taehyung says before coming towards you, scooping you up in his arms and squeezing you to his body. “Don’t worry us anymore, okay?”

“Sorry, sorry.” You mumble in his chest. Taehyung releases you and pouts.

“If anything bad happens to you, you realize me and Jimin would physically feel it, right?”

“Huh?”

“Yeah, since we’re soulmates.” Taehyung says matter of fact. “Like, I’m pretty sure if you hurt your wrist, my own wrist would also start hurting.”

“I forgot how fucking weird Taehyung is about the three of you.” Jungkook stares at his friend with wide eyes. “Let’s go, dude. I need fast food before sleeping.”

“Alright, alright.” Taehyung grins but then his expression grows soft as he leans into your ear, “And when your heart hurts, mine also hurts. Same goes for Jimin. Let’s be happier, okay?”

Taehyung leans away from you and you feel your eyes water immediately and you drunkenly pout at him, “Taehyung.” You cry out dramatically.

“y/n!” Taehyung dramatically calls out your name as well before crushing your body again with another hug.

Jimin smiles a little at the interaction before trying to shoo his friends away.

“Bye guys!” Jungkook sings out, “Bye bye y/n!”

“Bye!”

You and Jimin sit on your couch, laying back on it as your eyelids feel so heavy again. Your entire body is ready to enter rest mode for at least a solid 15 hours. You’d fall asleep right here but you can feel Jimin’s worried eyes on you, his entire tense body is creating enough concern.

“Relax, would you?” You mumble quietly. “I can feel how on edge you are and its making it harder for me to fall asleep.”

“Sorry.” Jimin sighs, “I’ve just been…stressed.”

You lazily turn your head, cheek pushing up against the couch cushion as you crack open an eye to look at Jimin. He’s struggling to find a breath before he tries to give in, his back finally hitting the cushion.

“Stressed?”

“Yeah.” His head tilts back and his eyes find the ceiling. “I was scared. How was I supposed to make sense of your text? Words like that aren’t that hard to decipher, right?”

“Jimin, when have I ever said anything to make you think—”

“I don’t know.” He slowly shuts his eyes. “Maybe my mind just assumed the worst and I just keep thinking about a possibility of losing you and…” He stops.

“I’m here.” You drunkenly reach out towards him, your fingers brushing against his arm and he feels his heart starting to beat faster and faster.

Jimin’s eyes open again and his head turns towards you. Eyes meetings yours and you swear if you weren’t ready to admit you might be in love with this man a few hours ago then you sure as hell would be ready to admit it right now. His heart is in his eyes.

“Always be here.” He whispers. “I can’t lose you.”

There’s a slight tremble in his voice as he does nothing to hide his own fears. Voice dripping in something pained and something vulnerable.

“You won’t.” You assure him. Your heart feels weaker because you are 100% sure that at the end of his words, ‘I can’t lose you.’ There was a silent ‘too.’

Jimin keeps his eyes on you as he takes a deep breath, “I’m sorry about last night. I shouldn’t have acted like that…I just…do what makes you happy. I’ll be happy as long as you are.”

You stare at him and you feel him. You feel his heart. And you’re so stuck. He cares about you and you’ll just have to be satisfied with that. Have you been a fool this entire time? A fool to think you wouldn’t be here again, staring in the eyes of the man you once wholeheartedly gave yourself to? That you wouldn’t be here…so willing to do that again. Maybe it’s just about time—maybe he needs time. Time to fall in love. Or you’re just drunk and getting ahead of yourself all over again.

“It’s okay.” You tell him, “We’re okay.”

Oh, god. Oh, god. Oh, god. Who the hell is calling you at this hour? It’s way too fucking early to be receiving some ungodly phone call at some ungodly hour. You’re rolling around in your bed, sheets and blanket getting all tangled up as your hands roam the mattress beneath you. You finally feel the coldness of your cellphone, fingers grasping it before you hold it in front of your face, eyes squinting ridiculously as you see who the hell is calling.

Hoseok.

“What?” You grumble.

“Wakey, wakey!” Your best friend sings out, “It’s like 3pm so I think it’s time we get our lives together!”

“It’s too early.”

“It’s never too early for me to scold you!” He continues to sing, “So, on that note.” He suddenly gets serious. “What the fuck were you thinking?! ‘I’m gonna end it all!’ Like, dude, let’s be serious real quick—”

“It made sense to me!”

“In what world does that sound anything but—”

“I was…Listen, it was a whole conversation and I think I made majority of it in my head and only texted out the part I thought was most important…”

“y/n,” Hoseok releases a deep breath, “You scared Jimin shitless. Even me! I wasn’t too worried but then you weren’t answering.”

“I was so drunk, Hobi. I didn’t feel my phone at all!”

“Pretty sure you took like 10 years off Jimin’s life.”

“Shit…” You roll on to your side, cuddling with your pillow. “I feel bad, really. Last night was a journey for everyone.”

“Where did you go anyway?”

“Lorenzo’s bar.”

“Ew.”

“Anyway, I was there—sulking. And suddenly, Jungkook, from college was there!”

“I have no idea who that is.”

“…..Girlfriend stealer Jungkook.”

“Oh, the hot guy?”

“Yes, him. Anyway, we ended up just venting about our lives and got super drunk and then he was totally hyping me up about Jimin and—“

“Hyping what up?”

“Oh. Right. Okay. I should probably fill you in on some—wait, how did things go with Dae?!”

“Don’t change the…okay, hold on, because it’s actually a pretty big deal.” Hoseok tells you and you can hear the sudden giddiness in his voice. “We talked. And talked.”

“And?”

“And kissed. And kissed.”

“…And…?”

“And fucked. And fuck—”

“Okay.” You laugh, “So things went well?” “Way better than I thought it would. I was nervous as hell but once I kind of just tried explaining myself she was so fucking cool. Really understanding and I don’t know, she just…we just click, I guess.”

“That’s…” You feel yourself beginning to grin, you heart leaping in joy. “Hobi, I’m happy. That’s great. So what does this mean?”

“We’re going on a date today.” He tells you, giddiness still evident. “Her and Taehyung are leaving at like 8 tonight so I got until then. She’s actually in the bathroom getting ready.”

“How’s Taehyung taking it?”

“I talked to him on the phone before I called you to let him know and…well, he went on a whole speech about how we’re already brothers for life but now we’re brothers for real. I tried explaining Dae and I aren’t getting married but then he started shouting into the phone about how I should already be thinking about that if it’s with Dae…anyway, Dae hung up on him for me.”

You start giggling at this, “Classic Taehyung.”

“Anyway, so what’s this Jungkook guy hyping up?”

“Oh. It’s—shit,” You bring your phone to your face again when you see another incoming call. “Naomi is calling me. She’s supposed to come over today and fill me in on everything.”

“Oh yeah, Jeremy has been blowing up my phone.”

“It’s crazy, right? Everyone says it was so obvious?!”

“How the fuck was that obvious?! Next they’re going to say we’re going to hook up.”

“Please think before you speak.” You shudder.

“You’re right, saying that triggered my gag reflex.”

“Anyway, I’ll call you later or something. Let me answer this!”

“Okay, okay. Bye!”

“Hello?” You say as soon as you answer Naomi’s call, “What’s up?”

“Hey! I just got home so I could drop off Bacon but if you’re down I could come over now?” Naomi says on the other line, “I could be there in like 10.”

“Oh shit.” You mumble, trying your best to sit up in bed. “Okay sure but just know I’m hungover as hell.”

“Damn…” Naomi chuckles, “Rough night?”

“We can fill each other in when you get here.” You tell her before you’re both saying bye and hanging up. You throw yourself back onto the mattress, head feeling heavy and room not exactly still. Well, you’re not drinking again for at least a month.

After washing up and changing into some clean clothes, you make your way into your kitchen to make some tea. Your eyes land on a small pile of dishes in your sink and you groan. You’ll do them later. You plant yourself in one of the chairs at your kitchen island and start scrolling through your phone to get a look at all the unread messages from last night. There’s a lot but some stick out more than others.

Jimin 2:36am

Please answer your phone y/n

Jimin 2:38am

Youre really driving me crazy please just look at your phone

Jimin 2:41am

Babe please

Taehyung 2:44am

My soulmate senses are tingling

Taehyung 2:44am

Hey where are you

Taehyung 2:45am

Me and jimin are worried please call us back love you

Hobi:)) 2:50am

What the fuck y/n

Hobi:)) 2:50am

Is this just you being dramatic or should I actually be worried

Hobi:)) 3:01am

Answer me you dumbass

There’s about a hundred more from Hoseok that are just yelling at you and then some are just texts with exclamation points, some texts are just him saying he loves you but mostly it’s a lot of yelling. You click your phone off and sigh to yourself, feeling bad about causing such a dramatic misunderstanding. It made sense to you at the time even though it’s all a little blurry—oh shit. Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.

Suddenly, you’re remembering more from last night and all your drunken venting and drunken confessions. You aren’t 100% sure but you think you gave Jungkook the impression that you are in love with Jimin. You’re starting to think that you gave yourself the impression you are in love with Jimin.

You sit here, mind replaying different pieces of conversation and—

“Jungkook, seriously.” You slur, trying not to laugh at his silly faces. “Be serious!” You hit his shoulder and he relaxes, giving you his full attention again. “I really did like Namjoon, I swear.”

“But he’s not Jimin, right?” Jungkook smirks at you, “Come on, y/n. You guys were so in love back in the day.”

“But it’s not back in the day.” You frown now, “But that’s a good thing. We’ve grown up a lot and experienced new things and well, I don’t know.”

“Okay, so you liked Namjoon but….but what?”

“I don’t know. When I look at Jimin it takes everything in me to not just…” You look at Jungkook intensely with big, wonderous eyes as you clutch your chest. “He’s just so…”

“Damn.” Jungkook shakes his head, trying not to laugh at your dramatics. “I don’t think you were even this whipped back then.”

“I’m…I’m not…” You quickly bring your hands back down to your lap. “He just feels so special, maybe.” You spin in your barstool to face the bar top again. “He’s my person.” Your voice is quieter and Jungkook gazes at you with soft eyes. He watches you sulk but he’s pretty sure he’s remembering Jimin saying something similar to this when he saw him last.

“Just admit you’re in love with him already.” Jungkook scoffs with a grin growing on his face. “That’s phase 1…after that, we can commence with phase 2.”

“W-What’s phase 2?”

“Leave that to the big boys.”

“Huh?”

“Nothing. Anyway, if things don’t work out with you guys, we can just get married. My parents are loaded, aren’t you ready to marry into a rich fam—”

“Jungkook.”

“Sorry.”

Your lips lift into a smile as you roll your eyes at Jungkook’s words but your heart does feel a pinch or maybe a tingle at the rest of the conversation you’re remembering. Wow, drunk you was so shameless last night. Shameless or just facing the truth and being honest about it? Your brain starts sorting through several different moments you’ve had with Jimin since he came back home. You’d be ridiculously stupid to deny that you love him. Of course you do. But being in love is different and so much more dangerous. Especially with him. Because he’s the most dangerous of them all.

But if someone is that dangerous for your heart it means something, doesn’t it? If you can easily admit Jimin is the one who could cause you the most pain—again—it’s because he’s also the one who causes you to be…shit. You rest your head against the cold granite countertop and shut your eyes. You’re going to enjoy these last 5 seconds of ignorance. 5…4…3…2…1.

You’re in love with Jimin. Again.

You lift your head again, eyes opening and staring ahead at the dirty dishes in your sink. Well, those 5 seconds were nice but now you live in a world where you are aware of your feelings. The same world where you have to clean dishes—the dirty dishes existed in your previous world too—the world where you weren’t hyperaware of your feelings. But this doesn’t mean they didn’t exist. Just like the dirty ass dishes.

Your body jumps a little at the sound of knocking on your front door…Naomi is here, you think. “It’s open!” You yell out as loud as you can, “Open!!!!”

Your head twists in the direction of the door, eyes wide as you wait for it to open but much to your annoyance…nothing. “I said it’s open…” You mumble to yourself before sliding off the barstool and going towards the door. You look through the peep hole and see Naomi standing on the other side, totally oblivious to your yelling.

“Hi.” You greet Naomi flatly, “Welcome.” You open the door wide so she can step through but before she does she looks you over and nods her head enthusiastically.

“At least we both look like shit.” She sings out, walking inside your apartment. “I’m not saying I’m happy you look so totally and miserably hungover but I’ll admit it makes me feel a little better.”

“Hold on.” You tilt your head in confusion, eyes raking over her body. Her curls are perfect as always, her nails look like they just got done and her overall outfit almost looks Sunday brunch worthy. “This is you looking like shit?”

“Dude,” Naomi gestures towards herself and then her hand gently lifts up the bottom of her blouse, exposing her jeans. “They aren’t even buttoned.”

“Damn…” You finally shut the door and nod in understanding, “We really are going through it.”

Naomi exhales slowly, her eyes landing on you and a sudden softness enters them. “Seems we have a lot to catch each other up on, huh?”

“Seems like it.” You laugh a little before going towards your living room, body flopping onto your couch, quick hands pulling the designated couch blanket over yourself. “You go first though because my shit has unraveled like scenes in a predictable movie. You on the other hand…”

“God, I’m probably not any better.” Naomi sits next to you, her own fingers tugging on the blanket as she urges you to share it with her. “Who knew clichés were this powerful?”

“Guess they’re cliches for a reason.” You shrug, “So?”

“Right.” Naomi leans back onto the sofa, her eyes finding the ceiling and you watch her as she thinks. Funny how all your guests seem to take comfort in your ceiling. “Okay…I honestly don’t even know where to begin.”

“Well, I already know the ending. What if you work backwards?”

“Okay…” She starts nibbling on her plump lips, her lipstick beginning to disappear. “Me and Jeremy…god!” She suddenly starts chuckling to herself before throwing her face in her hands. “Why can’t I even say it?! I feel so embarrassed!”

“Well, it is Jeremy.” You joke but then quickly pretend to zip your lips closed when Naomi glares at you, “Sorry.”

“Listen, I know this is—this is weird. I know that.” Naomi takes her eyes off you and they go back to the ceiling. “Jeremy is our friend and the four of us…me, you, Hoseok and Jer…we’re…friends. I feel like this stupid thing me and Jeremy did might ruin the group.”

“Stupid thing?” You lean back onto the sofa, head digging deeper into the cushion. “According to everyone this was an expected thing.”

“Expected or not…it was still stupid.” She murmurs, “I don’t want anything to change between us or anyone or—”

“Change isn’t bad.” You tell her, your own eyes going to the ceiling now too, the place with all the answers. “I’m curious how it happened though…had this been building? Or was it out of the blue? Or—”

“Both?” Naomi sighs out, “It was out of the blue…but it also somehow felt like I was saying ‘finally’ the entire time…”

“Oh.” You glance at your friend, suddenly more worried than before. “You guys…you actually…oh.”

“He came over after his date and he was telling me all these exciting things about it…you know how he gets.” She says and you nod. “And I asked him why he didn’t actually look excited and then I asked why he was at my place if it went so well…”

“And?”

“He didn’t really have an answer for either.” Naomi tells you. You think you can understand why he didn’t—it’s because he did…have an answer, that is. “I let it be but it felt like after that things just changed.” She looks down now, eyes on her hands as her fingers play with the rings that are just loose enough. “He kissed me out of nowhere.”

“Bold.” You comment more to yourself.

“And he pulled away from me like he just made the biggest mistake of his life!” She pouts, “I felt so…I don’t know. But…we just kind of stared at each other and he kissed me again. And imagine my surprise when I was kissing him back. I was confused! Like, why the hell am I making out with Jeremy?!” She shakes her head dramatically, her curls bouncing on her shoulders and you can’t help but laugh at this. “But I was hit with even more confusion and also like,” She bites down onto her bottom lip as she searches for the right words. “Like…relief? Like kissing him felt confusing and also relieving? And that’s when the word ‘finally’ kept repeating in my mind!”

“Damn.”

“And we totally slept together.” She slumps her shoulders, “And it was good. Really good. But after…you know…we just got really awkward. So I made a joke about how we’re friends and he just kept it going! Friends this, friends that. And it went so far that we ended up steering away from everything and making it a point that we’re only friends even though I’m 100% sure I have a thing for him.”

“You realized that after sleeping with him?”

“No, I realized that on Friday when all I could think about was how I’m into the cringey things he does.”

“Ah.” Your mouth falls open as you realize. “The poetry.”

“It’s truly horrific and somehow I want him to share only that kind of thing with me.” She says with a straight face. “Gross, right?”

You laugh at this, wondering how you and Hoseok have been so dumb about this but apparently Naomi and Jeremy are also dumb about this. When it doesn’t have to be dumb at all.

“You know, talking to him could—”

“I think we both have silently agreed that staying friends is for the best.”

“Silently?” You give her a pointed look, “It’s not a real agreement if it’s silent.”

“It’s just bad timing! I have reservations for Wednesday and it’s not like he’s not going to come…”

“Wednesday?” You squint your eyes at her before they comically expand, “Oh my god, your birthday dinner.”

“Yup.” She responds dully, “He’s going to show up because we’re friends but…well, I don’t know why I’m saying ‘but’…if he didn’t show up, I’d be pissed.” She laughs now. “It’s just a weird situation that I’m hoping we will get over quickly. Plus, I’m sure he’s put together that I like him and he’s given me no indicator if he feels the same…so.”

“Aren’t you ignoring him?”

“He’s sent like a hundred texts and most are talking about the importance of our friendship.”

“Oh.”

“Anyway, give me your story now. You and Jimin, huh? Not surprised but with the whole Namjoon thing…so?”

~~~

Monday morning and you’re wondering if you’re still dealing with a hangover. Or maybe this headache is stress induced. Well, either one works, you suppose. You just made it inside your office, stopping for a cup of tea before settling at your desk. You see Hoseok, Naomi and Jeremy are already here. Naomi greets you with a small smile before she faces her computer screen again and Jeremy gives a noncommittal wave. Your best friend, who sits right next to you, hasn’t even acknowledged you yet.

“What’s so important on your phone that you can’t even say hi to me?” You plop onto the office chair before turning everything on. Hoseok just continues to look at his phone, an undeniably giddy smile on his face. “Hm?”

“Oh, nothing.” He sings out, “Just that Dae just called me handsome and her boyfriend in the same text.” He says before holding his phone out to you. You narrow your eyes and read her message and it’s true, her text says, ‘how’s my handsome boyfriends morning so far?’ and you can’t help but grin and roll your eyes.

“Boyfriend? The date went that well? You guys move fast.”

“I get some people like to take things slow and that’s cool but both of us know what we want so why prolong that? So yes, your best friend here is a taken man.” Hoseok brings his phone back to his lap, eyes on his screen as he smiles down at it. Then it drops so suddenly before he’s whipping his head up at you. “Shit. I forgot you’re sad.”

You snort at this, heading shaking. “Well, at least you’re honest.”

“I won’t rub my happiness in your face, I—”

“Nah,” Your face glows from the monitor finally turning on. “I will gladly let you rub it in my face.”

“Ew, what are you letting Hoseok rub in your face?” Jeremy suddenly blurts, teasing in his voice as you find an eraser to throw at him.

“Seriously though, Hobi. This is great and you shouldn’t have to feel like you got to hold back when you’re this excited just because my own love life sucks.”

Hoseok studies you for a moment before he gives you a look of appreciation, “Thanks.” He smiles at you, “Also, we have a meeting in like 30 minutes. Got pinged like 10 minutes before you walked in.”

“A meeting?” You groan, clicking the computer mouse as you go to check your e-mails. “It better not last more than 5 minutes…I have so much to do today.”

“It’s just to meet our new temp boss.” Hoseok tells you, “Probably won’t last long.”

“Shit, I forgot about that.”

“Maybe this one won’t want to fuck you!” Hoseok cackles to himself and Naomi and Jeremy join but then they quickly make eye contact and stop laughing. You guess they’re still being weird.

The four of you sit in the meeting room, you and Hoseok in the middle with Naomi and Jeremy on either side of you. Awkwardness continues. The room starts filling up one by one as everyone talks amongst themselves as they wonder about Mr. Lincoln’s nephew. You grow bored waiting, clicking your pen in and out before the room finally goes quiet when someone walks in.

“Good morning, everyone.” A confident voice fills the room and you look up to get a look at the new guy who will be bossing you around. Your fingers quickly stop fidgeting with the pen when it falls to the table, loud clinking echoes in the room and everyone’s eyes go to you.

“J-Jungkook?” You blink up at the guy standing front and center. His face looks as surprised as you’re feeling. He looks so different than what you’re used to…his tattooed arm completely covered by the long sleeves of his dark blue suit, his hair pushed back and there’s a strong, established energy clinging to him.

“y/n?” His mouth falls open, doe eyes wide and set on you before he’s quickly clearing his throat and offering a gentle smile. “It’s nice to see you but…” He glances around the room before smirking at you. “At work, please call me Mr. Jeon.” You’re about to snort at this but he moves on from you to properly introduce himself to everyone else and you realize he was…serious.

“Jungkook?” Hoseok leans in, whispering to you, “Like…girlfriend stealer Jungkook?”

“Dude…he’s so hot…” Naomi leans in your other side, “This is the guy from Saturday?”

“Yes,” You lean into Hoseok before swaying to your other side and leaning into Naomi, “And yes.”

You cannot believe this…Mr. Lincoln’s wife’s nephew is…Jungkook? Well, Jungkook did tell you he recently took an offer elsewhere to get a break from his parent’s company…

After the initial shock of your new boss being an old college friend who used to give you pot brownies, you’ve gotten comfortable at your desk, working your ass off to finish a report in time. It’s not even lunch time yet but you can already feel the pained discomfort growing between your shoulders, realizing you desperately need a break—or massage.

“Hey.” You hear a voice from behind you, a voice you know. You swivel around in your chair and see Jungkook standing here, serious look on his face as he hands you a packet of papers. “Mind if I go over something with you?” He glances down at the papers he just gave you. You knew he would eventually come find you…you thought to chat but looks like it’s about…work.

“Sure.” You tell him and he relaxes his shoulders before pointing at the packet.

“Page 4.” He says calmly, “There’s a mistake in your report. You got some of the information wrong…it’s not a huge deal but with eyes on us in this term it’s just best if we find even the smallest of mistakes. It doesn’t reflect on just you but our entire time and we don’t want that. Can you have it revised before lunch?”

“Sure, I guess—”

“Thanks, y/n.” Jungkook straightens his back, “Other than that, really good work.” He nods at you before heading off to his office. You stare at the now empty space where he was just standing, truly wondering who the hell this guy is. Jungkook? There’s no way…this is like his long lost twin or something.

“He’s so…different than what you described.” Hoseok rolls his chair closer to your desk, “Not what I imagined at all.”

“Me either.” Naomi walks towards you both, hands cupping a mug. “He’s like so…” She waves her hands around, assuming you’re understanding what she’s saying.

“Dude, same. But maybe he’s just really serious about work?” You wonder more to yourself, “He’s under some serious pressure so I guess it makes sense.” You say before groaning when you look down at a past report. “Well, looks like I’m working through lunch.” You glance at the current report on your screen that isn’t even half way complete. “Will you bring me something back?” You say to Hoseok and he agrees.

With the work day finally winding down, you grin in satisfaction; you completed what you were working on plus revised the report Jungkook brought to you. You feel accomplished and to be honest, the productivity was nice…focused on something other than your life’s woes. You stand from your chair, packet in hand when you’re heading towards Mr. Lincoln’s office—well, Jungkook’s temporary office. You knock on the glass door and wait for permission to enter. You hear Jungkook’s voice call out for you to go inside.

“Hi, Jung—Mr. Jeon.” You crack a tight smile as you slip into his office. “I have the revisions done—”

“—Dude!” Jungkook ushers you to close the door behind you and when you do he does nothing but grin at you, “How crazy is this?! This is seriously, wow.”

“Wow is one way to put it.” You chuckle, dropping the packet to his desk. “You take your job seriously, huh?”

“Well, yeah. In this world…” He chews on his lips, hand brushing through his hair. “I have to be. No room for error and—”

“I get it.” You assure him, “I’ll try not to make anymore mistakes.” You joke and he only continues to grin at you.

“Good, because who knows what I’d have to do with you.” He sits down at his desk, cheeky smile on his face. “I’d be nice though, since we’re connected and I’ve been inside you.”

The sudden coughing thanks to choking on your spit does look a little dramatic but it only makes Jungkook grin harder. “Excuse me?”

“What? That’s all according to you.” He tells you simply. “So, how was the rest of your night? Are you and Jimin madly in love now?”

“What?” You whisper shout, “No!”

“Weird.” He mumbles, “I guess phase two will really be set in motion…”

“What?”

“Nothing,”

“Anyway, uh, so actually Wednesday is Naomi’s birthday and we’re going to a nice place for dinner and uh, you’re invited. Naomi says it’s cool. You don’t have to but you know, we’re technically friends and Jimin would be there too…”

“I’m there.” He smirks as he throws you some finger guns and then his face grows serious when his phone starts ringing. “Duty calls but good work today, thanks again. Go home and rest and see you tomorrow!” He quickly waves you off before answering the phone. “Jeon.” He says into the phone before smiling at you as you wave him goodbye.

~~~

Tuesday and it was another long day at work. The pain between your shoulders is driving you crazy and you really wish some expert hands were rolling out all the knots. It’s late, around 10 when you reach for your phone and find Jimin’s name.

y/n 9:44pm

hey just reminding you about naomis birthday dinner tmrw at 7

Jimin 9:44pm

I know

Jimin 9:45pm

Is Namjoon going too?

You read his second text and can’t help but dig your teeth into your bottom lip…he doesn’t know about Namjoon yet. And you don’t really feel like sharing it at the moment…who could blame you? Double rejection just isn’t a great look.

y/n 9:47pm

nope

Jimin 9:47pm

Am I supposed to bring a gift?

y/n 9:48pm

lol no I think its ok

Naomi’s birthday and this is getting ridiculous. Naomi and Jeremy barely spoke yesterday either but today Jeremy told Naomi ‘Happy Birthday’ and she only replied with a bland, ‘Thanks friend.’ And he dryly responded with, ‘What are friends for?’ and they’ve been back to ignoring each other. You and Hoseok give one another knowing looks before deciding today might not be the day to interfere.

Jungkook—or Mr. Jeon as he has reminded you and your friends to call him—is as professional as always. He walks around the office, looking over many shoulders and you can tell people feel nervous but he’s kind when he points something out, he’s actually helpful unlike Mr. Lincoln.

It’s funny…he told you how much he dreaded all of this, how he wanted nothing to do with this lifestyle and tried so hard to escape this path (a path his parent’s created) but he looks so confident and really looks like he’s in his element. You wonder how he feels.

“Mr. Jeon is going to scold me.” Jeremy whines at his desk, “I’ve literally got almost nothing done today…” His eyes look distant as they slowly dance across the office and they land on Naomi. “Today sucks.”

“Mr. Jeon is going to praise me!” Hoseok cheers much to everyone else’s annoyance, “I finished up plus I ended up doing some extra tasks. He said he would pay me over time!”

“Good for you.” You gaze at your own screen, completely unimpressed with your own work. “Must be nice to be so perfect.”

“It is nice.” Hoseok sticks his tongue out at you before he’s straightening himself, “Oh hey, Mr. Jeon!”

You lift your head higher to see Jungkook standing to your side, “Hey. Mind helping Myra with some document conversion? Apparently you’re the pro.”

“Yes, boss.” You salute him before standing and he hands you a sticky note that you take. “What’s this?” You say glancing down, eyes reading Jungkook’s messy handwriting. ‘Can’t wait to fucking party tonight!!!!!’ you can’t help but chuckle at this, realizing you should probably tell him it’s just a nice, simple dinner.

The restaurant Naomi chose is the same as last year, a nice enough place that offers insta worthy birthday photos and food that actually has decent portions. You get here the same time as Hoseok, both of you walking inside to find the table that Naomi is already sitting at—miserably, might you add. You’re about to approach her when you feel your entire heart start to dance wildly in your chest. Jimin walks closer, looks like he’s coming back from the bathrooms, when he spots you and smiles. He’s got his hair out of his forehead and an outfit that makes you feel suffocated. These pants and this jacket…they’re doing wonders on—and suddenly you’re having to snap your head up to meet his eyes because you were totally checking him out.

“Hey.” Jimin’s arms extend out and he surprises you with a tight hug. Maybe it’s just a surprise because you’re still processing your weekend. “You look nice.” He tells you as he pulls away, “New shirt?”

“Not really.” You glance down, knowing damn well it is new.

“So,” Jimin looks at you, eyes on yours and you can’t help but tear your gaze away from him…you suddenly feel nervous. “How are—”

“Yooooooooo.” You can hear Jungkook’s voice from behind you. You quickly turn around and greet your boss.

“Hey, Mr. Jeon.” You say as you take in his appearance. Unstyled hair falling in his eyes, loose pants and short sleeve shirt that exposes his tattoos. You forgot this is what he usually looks like. Feels weird to call him Mr. Jeon now.

“Mr. Jeon?” You hear Jimin, his shoes clicking on the tiled floor when he walks closer, coming next to you. “Uh?” He glances between you both, clearly wondering why you’re greeting Jungkook this way.

“Oh.” You realize immediately. “He’s my boss.” You gesture towards Jungkook who just throws up a peace sign and grins.

“The y/n I used to know was so hard to boss around but now she follows every order.” Jungkook winks at Jimin who is looking more lost. Clearly not taking this seriously.

“How did you agree to call him that?” Jimin raises a brow, his question directing at you.

“It’s because—”

“Hey Mr. Jeon!” Hoseok comes towards you all, “Wow, you look…” He motions towards Jungkook’s body and Jungkook only throws up another peace sign.

“You too, Hoseok?” Jimin blinks in confusion. “What kind of game—”

“Wow, Mr. Jeon…” Naomi comes now too, “I was not expecting all of…this.” She checks him out fully and Jungkook just…does another peace sign.

“Naomi too?!” Jimin’s mouth is permanently parted as he looks at all of you in disbelief. “Why—”

“Mr. Jeon’s here too?” Jeremy makes his way towards you guys, last one to show up.

“JEREMY TOO?!” Jimin blinks at all of you, “Jungkook? Why—”

“He’s our boss.” Hoseok chuckles when he realizes Jimin is genuinely confused. “His uncle is our usual guy but he’s on leave for a few months so we got him.” He points at Jungkook who throws up two peace signs now. “It’s not some weird thing y/n is doing on her own.” He continues to laugh and Jimin relaxes a little.

“Anyway, guys.” Jungkook finds a seat at the table. “Mr. Jeon is dead after work hours. Only Jungkook exists now. Don’t even think about talking about work because I will revive your dead boss—Mr. Jeon—and fire you. That or make you get drunk as fuck and you’ll have to deal with a hangover at work during our 8 am meeting.”

“You’re evil.” You laugh, taking your own seat as everyone gets settled at the table.

“That is evil.” Jeremy shudders before suddenly nodding in approval, “But somehow I respect it.”

“Thanks, dude. Should we take a shot to get this birthday dinner started?” Jungkook starts perusing the drink menu, “It’ll be on me.”

“He’s rich.” You quickly explain to the rest of your friends.

“Wow, you couldn’t have said ‘he’s generous’ instead?” Jungkook leans into your side, “Both are right so I guess it doesn’t matter.” Then Jungkook directs his words towards everyone else, “She’s really into the whole ‘rich’ thing, huh? I already told her I would marry her!”

Jimin chokes on nothing when he hears this, his expression growing more annoyed. God, this is exactly how he acted years ago! Jimin didn’t call him a ‘girlfriend stealer’ for nothing.

“Shut up. He’s also cheeky as hell.” You giggle, “Jungkook, we aren’t here to party. It’s a dinner!”

“No, no.” Jeremy starts looking at the drink menu as well. “Mr. Jeon has got a point. Let’s take shots.”

“He’s dead!” Jungkook cries out dramatically, “Only Jungkook lives!”

“Oh, right.” Jeremy nods. “Jungkook.”

“Looks like it’s just you two.” You glance around the table…no one else seems interested in drinking.

“Cool.” Jungkook and Jeremy say in unison with a shrug to their shoulders. Jimin is on your left side and he’s quieter than it makes you comfortable. You catch his eyes on you every now and then but it feels strange. But this could just be you overthinking your recently rejected state.

It’s around 9pm when Jeremy and Jungkook are throwing back another shot and talking about which super powers they would choose. Naomi is telling you about how her sister is still trying to convince her to work remote and visit her in Mexico City where she’s currently living for work.

Jungkook stops talking to Jeremy to sip more of his water before he’s throwing an arm over you, “Ah, this was us just a few days ago, y/n. We really bonded, you know?” He winks at you before finding Jimin’s eye and offering a coy smile. “We just really get each other.” He says more to Jimin who just sips his own drink.

“Cool.” Jimin mutters before his eyes go to Jungkook’s phone that vibrates on the table. “You going to get that?”

“Oh.” Jungkook looks down and smiles in excitement. “It’s Taehyung.” He reaches for the phone and speaks into it, “Hey. Yeah. No worries, dude. I got this. Operation is in the works.” Then he looks over at you and Jimin, “Mhm. You’ll see, you’ll see. Kay, bye.”

“What operation?” You quirk a brow at Jungkook and he ignores you.

“He says hi!” Jungkook turns back to Jeremy, “Anyway, here me out…what if teleportation isn’t just through spaces but also through time? Imagine—”

“You guys seem close.” Jimin picks up his water again, “Didn’t know one drunken night made you guys the best of friends.”

“Well, I also see him at work now.” You grab your phone to check the time, “But I wouldn’t say we’re close?”

“Right.”

“Should we give our gifts now?” Hoseok shouts over the table excitedly.

“I’ll go first!” Jeremy slurs a little but Naomi shifts uncomfortably in her seat, “Here.” He hands her a small box and although she looks hesitant, she takes it. “Open it!”

“No, it’s okay.” She avoids Jeremy’s gaze, “I’ll wait for later.”

And you’ve never seen Jeremy look more offended.

Thursday 8am meetings are no joke. You’re tired even if you slept a decent amount…early is early. You set your bag down on your desk and you see Jungkook enter through, Jeremy’s eyes light up, excited to see his new friend.

“Sup JK!” Jeremy goes for a high five as Jungkook walks past him, completely avoiding Jeremy’s hand.

“We’re at work, Jeremy.”

Jeremy cracks a smile before high fiving his own hand, “Right.” But then his smile completely fades when Naomi walks in and they go back to ignoring each other.

Before you left for lunch today, Jungkook asked you if you wanted to get some ice cream after work and you had no real reason to say no…so here you are with casual Jungkook at an ice cream place just a block from the office.

“It’s a candid photo!” Jungkook tells you when you try to tell him to delete the picture he just took of you. “It’s cute!”

“Gross.” You roll your eyes, “Who are you sending it to anyway? Taehyung?”

Jungkook looks up from his phone, his big eyes looking innocent before he shows you his phone’s screen. An Instagram post. ‘I scream, you scream, we all scream at how cute y/n is.’

“What?” You look up at him, confused. “Why?”

“Just trust me. Plus, what’s the harm in posting my friend…” Jungkook smiles to himself, looking devious as the ‘likes’ start flooding in.

It’s Friday night when you receive an interesting text from Jimin. An entire screenshot of Jungkook’s recent Instagram post with the caption, ‘is this really okay since he’s your boss?’

y/n 11:01pm

why wouldn’t it be

Jimin 11:02pm

Idk

Jimin 11:02pm

Not sure Namjoon would be okay with that? He’s a chill guy but even he has his limits, im sure

Jimin 11:02pm

But maybe it isn’t my business, sorry

y/n 11:05pm

Namjoon wouldn’t even see it since he doesn’t know Jungkook

y/n 11:05pm

but also it wouldn’t matter its not like were together

Jimin 11:08pm

?? you still haven’t talked to him?

y/n 11:09pm

we talked.

y/n 11:10pm

we ended things

Jimin 11:11pm

Wait wait

Jimin 11:12pm

Wait what

Jimin 11:12pm

Ending things? You aren’t with him? You guys aren’t…?

y/n 11:12pm

nope

Jimin 11:15pm

Why didn’t you tell me??

y/n 11:15pm

maybe its embarrassing lol

Jimin 11:16pm

How is that embarrassing?? You should have told me…this…we’re all meeting up at hoseoks tmrw right?

y/n 11:20pm

yeah

Jimin 11:24pm

Good…I really gotta talk to you

~~~

Jimin is feeling nervous. So nervous that he even got to Hoseok’s place way before the meeting time. It mostly worked out since Taehyung and Dae just got here too, Dae is already in Hoseok’s arms, teasing him about not kissing her in front of Taehyung. And there’s Taehyung pretending to worship Hoseok for saving his poor eyes from seeing that.

Dae laughs before giving bad news, “Movie nights are cool but I really hate to break it to you guys but Taehyung does not shut up during a mov—” “—It’s only if the movie sucks!” Taehyung pouts.

“No, if it sucks, you usually just fall asleep!”

“Wait, I talk during movies too. y/n hates it.” Hoseok chimes in with a nervous smile.

“Great.” Dae deadpans, “My whole life I had to deal with Taehyung’s annoying ass during movies but now apparently my boyfriend is just as annoying.”

“Life is cruel.” Jimin chuckles, “Speaking of y/n…is she almost here?”

“Oh.” Hoseok looks at his phone now, “She said she was on her way like 15 minutes ago.”

And with the magic of great timing, he hears Hoseok’s front door swing up and you’re yelling cutely to announce your arrival. Jimin’s insides twist in a nervous but exciting kind of way. He’s been desperate to talk to you but especially after finding out you’re not with Namjoon. He can finally say everything he needs to say.

He mentally prepares himself, body turned towards the hall he knows you’re about to walk through but when he listens carefully he can hear how you’re talking—talking to someone. Maybe Naomi? Or Jeremy? And then he feels that ugly feeling in his gut that he’s felt for the last week. You walk through with Jungkook at your side, both of you laughing before Jungkook catches Jimin’s eye and he’s throwing an arm around your shoulder.

“Jimin!” He yells out, bringing you closer to his frame. “Tell y/n that she’s being ridiculous!”

Jimin feels that ugly feeling deep in his body start to twist and turn uncomfortably as he raises a brow at Jungkook, “About what?”

“I told her she looks so freaking pretty today! But she’s trying to deny it.” Jungkook smirks, “Isn’t that crazy? I have eyes, y/n. And you look so—”

“She’s always pretty.” Jimin cuts in, tone colder than he’s wanting. “Anyway, hey.” He says, more towards you. “Mind if we talk a bit before—”

“I’m here!” Naomi calls out as she walks through the house as well, “And Jeremy is parking. Let’s all pretend he doesn’t exist.”

“Naomi.” You give her a disappointed look. “Can you guys just talk already?”

“He’s being the way he’s being so I’m going to be however I want.”

“That’s mature.” Hoseok shakes his head as he comes closer to you guys, “Anyway, I ordered pizza!”

“Oh!” You cheer excitedly, completely forgetting that Jimin wanted to talk to you. “Did you order my usual?”

“Yes, I unfortunately know your personal order by heart.” Hoseok shoves your shoulder lightly before leading everyone towards the kitchen. “Anyone want wine?”

“Me!” Naomi sings, “Full glass.”

“Jungkook!” Taehyung comes into the kitchen too, “My partner in crime!”

“You mean partner in good deeds.” Jungkook corrects him, “Only crime here is how good we look.”

“Fucking facts, man.” Taehyung glances over at you and Jimin who is going next to you for a glass of wine as well. “So, how’s it going?”

“It’s going to work this time.” Jungkook whispers towards Taehyung, “For real.”

“You know,” A very cheesy, satisfied grin starts forming on Taehyung’s face, “What we’re doing is probably so, totally and completely unnecessary…but it’s probably going to encourage them to talk.”

“It’s definitely unnecessary!” Jungkook’s smirk grows, “After what Jimin said the other weekend when you guys visited me? But,” His eyes narrow as he watches Jimin talking to you but glancing at him every now and then, “This is so much more fun.”

“It’s a fucking blast.” Taehyung nods in agreement. “We failed last time but this time?”

“This time Jimin won’t be a dumbass and let her go.”

extra a/n: only two chapters left~

#bts #park jimin #bts smut #jimin smut #bts fluff #bts angst #bts fanfic #jimin fanfic #jimin x reader #jimin fluff #jimin angst #namjoon angst #love again chapter 13

513 notes · View notes