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gh0stlyfixation · 1 year

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5 reasons you’ve cried while pregnant

Johnny “Soap” McTavish

Simon “Ghost” Riley addition here

John Price addition here

Tagging: @birthofvcnus

1. Poor johnny got the shot end of the stick when you became pregnant, you were mean. Pickles were something you craved and sheathed you liked them before or not, you sure as hell did now. But to make Johnny's life a little harder, it had to be the McDonald’s pickles.

“I just need a lot of pickles, like a lot.” Johnny says to the women at the register.

“Sir, I can’t give just pickles.” She tells him.

Johnny takes a deep breath, “I cannot and will not go home without the pickles, my wife is pregnant and mean. Please, I need the pickles I'll pay for a whole meal, please.” Johnny says, begging the poor woman. She walks away for a few trying to see what she should do.

She comes back, a very large jar of pickles, “on the house. Good luck.” She tells him.

You nearly cry at the sight of pickles and to the generous lady at McDonald’s. Full on sobbing

2. It’s month 5 and you’ve been on a silent hunt for a puppy. Simon's wife had put her mind on adopting a puppy after she adopted a cat. It’s all you wanted now but to no avail, you couldn’t find the right one.

You sit on the couch sobbing. Wet tears drip onto your laptop that laid on your lap. Johnny comes in rushing to your side asking what was wrong.

“I can’t find the perfect puppy. All of them are perfect!” You cry. He’s confused, he never talked about adopting a dog.

“Since when we’re we getting a dog?” He asked, nope, wrong thing to say.

You sob even harder, “I knew you wouldn’t say yes so I wasn’t gonna say anything! Now I can’t even get a puppy.” You wail loudly.

Johnny is confused about what to do or say, he remembers Simon telling him about his wife’s random outbursts but he never understood until now, just gotta agree and deal with it, and be nice! Simon told him one day.

3. This sandwich you ate was stellar, everything about it was perfect, but as it got smaller and smaller your face frowned more. Johnny notices your face scrunching up. “What’s wrong lass?” He asks you.

Tears form in your eyes, “it’s just so good, I don’t want it to end.” You sniffle. At least you weren’t having a break down.

“I can make you another one?” Johnny asked softly rubbing your lower back.

“Just like this one? The same amount of meat, cheese and pickles, do not forget the pickles!” You exclaim, pointing a finger at him as Johnny gets up. As long as you weren’t incolsable, he’d make twenty more.

4. You were angrier this last term. You were miserable carrying the weight of your already 10-pound baby, “fucking hell.” You yell as the baby kicks.

“I swear to fucking god Johnny, I’m going to hit you if you ever put a baby in me again!” You randomly snap at him on the couch.

By now he’s used to it, he just nods and lays a hand on your thigh. He hears the familiar sniffle from next to him and he sees you have tears running down your cheeks, “Sorry Johnny.” You whisper now feeling guilty for snapping at him.

“It’s okay sweets, I know you don’t mean anything.” He says pulling you to his side, placing a hand on your belly and rubbing soothing circles.

5. Johnny sits in a debriefing meeting with Simon and Price when his phone starts to vibrate, the screen facing down. By the second vibrating sound going off Johnny turns his phone over and sees your pretty face light up the screen, “hold on, sorry.” He says Walking outside the door.

“Hi baby,” he cheerfully says.

“Well, I’m glad you having a grand time while I’m fucking not.” You yell through the phone, obviously crying. Johnny pulls the phone away from his ears and the boys laugh after hearing you scream.

“What’s wrong honey?” He asked, being very careful on how he sounds.

“I’m hitting every single red light on this 20-mile road and I’m so upset.” You sob into the phone, “like why can’t I just get a green light so I can get home quicker!” You whine with a broken sob.

“Honey, sometimes we can’t control the lights. Why don’t we do the breathing exercises together to calm you down, yeah lass?” He asked.

After finally calming you down and getting you through three more red lights, you were almost home. He walks back into the meeting when price speaks, “Our wives, they are crazy.”

“Yeah, mine is pregnant again, so we have a hamster now.” Simon scoffs, “mine is worse.” He finishes.

#johnny mctavish #john mctavish #soap mw2 #soap mctavish #soap x reader #soap x you #johnny mctavish x reader #mw2 x reader

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wqnwoos · 10 months

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seventeen — vocal unit as your boyfriend

okay so technically i already did this in dating hyung line / maknae line but — part 2 i guess? requested by @glowunderthemoon 💗

jeonghan

evil!!!!! likes to play around with you so much

especially if you guys are playing games or something he just makes up rules that get wilder and wilder until you draw the line

apologises to you afterwards w backhugs and kisses on your neck but he’s still giggling so how sorry is he really?

sends you all his boyfriend photos and then when he finds out one of them is your lockcreen he’s sooooo cocky about it (“i didn’t know you liked me that much” “jeonghan we have been dating for two years”)

takes you shopping but then gets antsy if you guys stay too long in one shop 😭 he won’t hurry you but he’ll just be shifting around awkwardly until ur done

has unflattering pictures of you as his lock screen. think fast asleep mouth open drooling a little. that’s his lockscreen and he won’t change it no matter how much u ask (he actually thinks it’s adorable)

gives you bites of his food without you even asking

joshua

takes loads of random selfies on your phone,,, like you open the photos app and ur like ?????? because suddenly there are 78 new photos of his face that you definitely did not take

gets sulky if you leave him to go out with friends or something 😭 ofc he’s just kidding but he dramatically throws an arm over his face and pouts (“i thought you loved me!!!!” “joshua you don’t even like this restaurant” “what if i changed my mind????” “we tried it last week!!!!”)

i feel like he’s the worst to have by ur side in an awkward situation bc you guys look at each other and you’re suddenly trying to hold back your laughter SOOOO bad and there’s not even anything funny😭

or if you’re talking to someone annoying he just stands behind them and makes faces to try and get you to crack tf up

tries to learn your favourite song on the guitar and then when you’re like “show me :))” he just starts playing sunday morning

woozi

omfg. the SWEETEST.

i think i said this in the other one but lets you play with his equipment and teaches you how to make basic beats and stuff (if u don’t know already) — tells u things like “good job!!” when you finish one

he’ll let you do whatever you want for dates and go along with it because you want to do it even if he’s reluctant <3333

if you don’t watch anime congratulations now you do!!!!! catch him at the right moment he’s gonna give you the rundown on all his favourites and the plots and the characters and everything (like his six hour live omfg)

genuinely believe he really is not cold as a boyfriend i think that is a Misconception — i saw this post the other day and HARD AGREE like this is mr i love my team i love my crew we are talking about ??? the same man who wrote darling which is arguably one of their sweetest songs????????

i’m convinced this man is an angel ? he acts like your guardian angel anyway he takes care of you so hard it’s crazy

he makes sure u eat well and u rest well and everything omg :(

also feel like he randomly bursts into a skit in the kitchen and you hAVE to play along you have to get invested!!!!!

also just a sidenote can u imagine just being in the same house as him and you can just hear him singing from the other room :( i am so sad :(

i feel like he takes note of what you really like and remembers (or notes it down). like if you have flowers in a vase the first time h comes over you best believe he’s going to keep that vase STOCKED for however long

even if he’s away or on tour or something you’d still get weekly deliveries with a card or something AHHHHHH

compliment battles 😭 even if you just say something small (“i like your hair today”) he immediately returns the compliment x10 until eventually you guys are just arguing about who’s sweeter or something weird which just ends in giggles once you realise how loud he’s saying “oh yeah? well your eyes are even prettier!!!”

seungkwan

MY LOVELY SEUNGKWAN 😭💗😭💗 convinced he’s sooo boyfriend material

like the most caring kindest sweetest boyfriend he texts you reminders every day (“don’t forget to eat~” “drink some water please~”) HES SO CUTE 😭

randomly squishes your cheeks and goes “pretty” and then moves on like nothing happened but gets so flustered if you do it back 😭 acts annoyed but he kinda loves it <3

if you’re cooking with music on you’re not getting him out that kitchen he is dancing like there’s no tomorrow !!!!! makes you join him and teaches you the steps if you don’t know them already until both of you are just giggling messes and oh fuck the food’s going to burn

wants your approval for every outfit and hairstyle 😭 the stylist is about to dye his hair and he holds up a hand like. “WAIT.” and facetimes you quickly like “hi baby what do you think about dark blue hair???”

and if you tell him something like “seungkwan you’re always handsome” he just clicks his tongue and rolls his eyes 😭😭 “just tell me yes or no!!!”

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sturnsslut · 20 days

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sleepover - chris sturniolo

a/n : um i usually write on wp so i don’t really know what im doing but here’s this anyways 😭

contains - dom!chris x sub!reader , pet names, teasing, swearing, fingering, slight choking, sneaky

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me and nick sturniolo had been best friends for almost 4 years now , and i had the BIGGEST crush on his brother , chris. of course i would never tell him , but i had a feeling he already sorta knew . ever since i told nick about my crush on chris , he has been teasing me NON STOP about it for almost 2 years. and he's always feeding into my delusions , even tho im trying to get over him.

anyway nick is constantly telling me how chris is always asking when im coming over next, how he's always talking about me , how he's starring at me when im not looking, things like that.

i don't believe any of it, but i wish. anyways i was bored, and it was Saturday so i thought i could call nick to have him come over so we could hangout , because if i saw chris, this whole " getting over him " thing would go right back to stage one. i got out my phone and pulled up nicks contact to invite him to come over , because ill be damned if all a bitch does is watch netflix alone on a saturday night.

iMessage

twin 💗 - nick

me - (you obv) 😭

NICKKK

i miss you sm

can you come over pls

i wanna hangout

twin 💗

TWIN I MISS YOUUU

I would but matt isn't here

so there isn't anyone to drive me

you can come over here thoooo

fuck. i tossed my phone to the side and let out a loud sigh , why can't anything work out in my favor ?? i picked up my phone and texted back nick.

well maybe you should get a license 😒

IM JUST KIDDINGGGG

twin 💗

Shut up bitch

you don't have one either

now come onnn

you can see ur man 😱

i hate you

im omw

twin 💗

😘

i texted my older brother and asked him if he could take me to nicks, which i didn't want to because he was at work and i didnt wanna wait but, oh well. he said he'd take me and so about an hour later he came home and told me he was waiting outside.

i threw on whatever, not really caring considering the fact i thought i was going to be in nicks room the entire time i was there. i put on blue plaid pajama pants and a black crop top with an oversized grey jacket, and some random slippers.

i packed my bag and ran outside, thanking him for the ride. a few minutes later i was at the sturniolos house.

i knocked on the door expecting nick, but of fucking course , it was chris.

" um hey." i said awkwardly, looking down at him.

"hey pretty. nicks in his room" he replied and opened the door further for me to walk in. i brushed past him and accidentally got a little too close. like i touched his dick type of too close.

i heard him groan silently as i walked past, making my way to nicks room.

fast forward a few hours , me and nick were watching a movie when he passed out.

i was gonna go and hangout with matt, but then i remembered he still wasn't back yet from wherever the fuck he was at, so with nothing else to do, i just decided to go to sleep right alongside nick.

i remember randomly waking up around 2AM for no reason but feeling hungry, so i made my way to the kitchen and got a freezer meal or wtv tf

i heat it up in the microwave and while i'm waiting , i decide to just get comfortable and lean on the counter while i scroll on my phone.

i'm about to shut off my phone when i hear something "nick?" i whisper shouted because i was slightly startled by the noise

there was no answer , i just shrug my shoulders and continue scrolling on my phone, when i suddenly feel two warm hands on my waist.

i jumped but not enough to move, i turn around to chris with his hands resting on my waist , looking at me with an indescribable look.

"what..are you doing?" i said flustered, turning my head to look at him , but again not enough to move our bodies any further apart.

"nothing..just can't sleep." he replied

god , his sleepy voice was literally going to make me bust.

" okay.." i say confused and go back to scrolling on my phone. i feel him rest his head on shoulder

" what are you watching "

" just t.." my voice trailed off as i realized i could feel that he had a big ass boner, and he was wearing only sweatpants

i struggled to get my words out because of the situation i was in, so i just ignored the question.

i felt him smirk and her closer to me, him getting more hard the closer he gets, with his hands still on my waist.

"what..you like the way this feels mama?" he says slipping his hands down into the front of my pants, but not fully.

"i.." i could barley speak due to the uncontrollable amount of flips my stomach was doing

"use your words ma." he says getting closer to me, his boner now fully on my ass

i'm gonna bust was literally my thought process. i was nervous, but of course im gonna do what he tells to.

"yea.." i say now slightly arching my back

he turns me to face him, so now im leaning against the counter and facing chris.

he takes one of his hands and guides it up to my face, "do you really."

"yeah" i let out a breathy moan and he smirks leaning closer to me, holy shit. no way this is happening.

he kisses me and i kiss him, he moves his hand down to my neck as we make out, the kiss turns into a sloppy make out, and he picks me up and i wrap my legs around him, he sets me on the counter so im perfectly aligned with his waist, as we're still making out

he starts leaving kisses on my neck and i grab his hair as he does so, leaving a trail of hickeys.

" fuck " i slightly whisper , this felt so good.

he stopped for a moment before placing one hand on my waist and the other in my pants

" you ready ?" i nodded desperately, not being able to use my words because of how badly i needed him.

he stuck two fingers inside of me and i grabbed onto the back of his shirt in pleasure

" damn ma your so wet ..all for me? how long have you been waiting for this mama "

i nodded, physically not being able to speak because of how good his fingers felt inside me.

" use your words. how long. " he demanded , grabbing my chin making me look him in the eyes

i paused, not wanting to me too loud. " damn ma, you like how i touch you that much you can't speak ?"

" t..two years " i struggled to push out those simple words. this man knew what he was doing with his hands.

" come on baby, if you were horny you could've told me. i would've helped you with ease. " he said, stopping for a second

" i didn't think you were into me. " i admitted

" really? i thought it was obvious. everytime you came over to see nick i would get hard just looking at you..i've been waiting for this moment a while to ma. "

he moved his fingers in and out of me again without warning, and i moaned a little too loud.

"watch your volume pretty girl..i'd hate for me to have to stop cause you couldn't control yourself "

i nodded agreeably, and trust me when i listened. i'd waited for this moment almost 2 years , i wasn't gonna let anything ruin it.

his fingers continued to move in and out of me at a rapid pace for another 2 minutes , and i felt myself start to get close

"chris...i'm close" that's when he took his fingers out of me and i caught my breath for a moment.

he took his dick out of his pants and it sprung out instantly. when i looked down, my jaw dropped.

he was easily a good 9 inches, and that was just a guess. i'm so screwed.

he stroked himself and laughed when he saw the look of surprise on my face. " what ? all your other little boyfriends had a small cock ?" he teased

i pulled my pants down further so chris had easier access. he got closer, until our noses were basically touching. "you ready ma" i nodded eagerly , because of how close we were, i felt his cock literally in between my thighs. " yes, yes i am just please fuck me " he smirked and put one of his hands on my waist , the other holding his dick. "you sure?" he asked me again, me giving the same answer.

and with that, he shoved in only 7 inches , just to see if i could take him or not. i gasped but covered my mouth because i remember what he said about keeping quiet.

" good girl " he smirked at me again, then shoving the entire 9 inches in me. i put my hands under his shirt, leaving scratches all down his back

" fuck mama..your so tight" he said pausing in between sentences

i could barley speak, but i wanted more. i managed to get two words out , "faster..please" i begged

" more already? alright ma..."

he thrusted in and out of me even faster than before, about a minute goes by before i felt that knot build up in my stomach.

" chris.." i paused before my next sentence, remembering that i had to be quiet "im close."

" not yet pretty girl.. please- mmm fuck you feel so good. "

i giggled slightly, before telling him how we should switch positions if he didn't want me to finish so soon.

" you got it mama. " and with that, he took me off of the counter and set me down, bending me over the counter instead.

he grabs my hips and lines me up, " you ready? you know i just gotta ask" he asks

i could feel his tip touching me, he was definitely teasing. well if he wants to tease..i can do it to.

"hm not yet..i need to catch my breath" i teased and move my waist slightly, feeling his tip against me

" how bout now?" he asks eagerly

"i don't know .." i answer, he's like a needy child , how cute

" mama please ..i need you so bad. "

" im ready " and with that he slams his entire 9 inch dick inside of me , going faster than before

" you think it's funny for you to tease me ? is it because you know you take me so well ?"

his sleepy voice..fuck.

" fuck..sorry" i say , i couldn't even think cause he was fucking me so good.

he grabbed my neck from behind and thrusted faster , that's when i knew i was close.

" chris , i cant ..im gonna-" im cut off by my release , letting it all go , and man i came hard.

" im almost there ma...in or out"

i mean, i was on the pill. " in , cum inside me please."

" mm..you got it pretty " he releases , and i feel his warm cum inside me , best feeling ever btw.

now we're both just leaning against the counter , heavy breathing, sweaty, looking at each other " you took me so good mama."

this man was really tryna make me nut for a 2nd time huh..i grabbed the food id forgotten about out of the microwave and made my way back to nicks room.

" goodnight chris. " i say with a smirk " goodnight ma." he says smirking back at me

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a/n: umm !! don’t know if i like this but i have something coming soon for the matt girlies 🤗

#chris sturniolo #sturniolo smut #sturniolo triplets #sturniolo x reader #sturniolos #matt sturniolo #nick sturniolo #smut #christopher sturniolo #x reader #sneaky #chris x reader #chris sturniolo x reader #smut writing

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that-one-girls-blog-posts · 5 months

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you're confused about your emotions ? me too babe, here's a quick reading

I chose random images from my pinterest to read into your energy so you can choose randomly aswell, whatever speaks to you♡ also Idk what's with the 2016 songs today but I kept hearing random ones throughout this reading maybe there's some resonance for you

Pile 1

The Moon🌜

first off I'm hearing that song "we don't talk anymore" by Charlie Puth. So maybe you're dealing with some kind of loss right now, maybe a breakup, a fight with a loved one, a new chapter meaning you have to leave someone behind a little... if this is the case, or similar, allow yourself to be "thrown off" a little, those kinds of situations take adjusting and remember that nothing has to be forever. where I come frome we say : "thunderstorms clear the air" meaning that after a fight there's great potential for healthy communications and solving problems once and for all, for a peaceful and harmonic environment♡ A reading about your emotional state and I pull the moon, how well fitting. The answer truly lays on the inside with this one. no one can tell you how you truly feel exept for yourself! (and maybe your therapist) I think for most of you there's a new season starting and you're realising that it can't be all returning characters. Take some time to heal your relationship with relationships and analyze what and who is truly of good value to your life. you got this!

Pile 2

four of swords🗡 and page of pentacles🪙

for you I'm hearing that song "cold water" with Justin Bieber. And you actually need to take a jump into cold water. There's something you've been manifesting and now that it's slowly getting closer you're resisting the change. Maybe by refusing to let go ? It's like little kids now around Christmas, you can actually watch this happen with slight alterations, all the time. Their parents take them to the toystore so they can see what they like, and they child ofcourse find something but their parents tell them okay now time to go home and wait and see if Santa will bring it. But the kid clings to the shelves and doesn't wanna leave behind the thing they so desperately wanted. Little does it now that their parents just need to get them out of sight so "Santa" can buy the gift and deliver it WHEN IT IS TIME. let go of obsessing, overthinking and trying to "go the right path" and just let the story unfold, take it step by step even if its a little scary and you'll find yourself where you're supposed to be, you're so close already♡

Pile 3

seven of swords🗡

It's too heavy darling you can't carry all of that. You might think you do and you think you're so strong and abundant and successful for "having" all of that but then you wouldn't be feeling like this, would you? A burden, too much responsibility, too many goals or to do's for a person who only has 24hours in a day. I know the card typically speaks about actual betrayal but in this case it feels a little paranoid, like you're desperately trying to do it all on your own because your scared of beeing betrayed or someone messing with your vision or even catching evil eye. For you I'm hearing "Lady Marmalade" yk from Moulin Rounge !? I'm not sure how that fits in here and I never watched the movie but oh well, maybe you know what to do with this information. There could be something about sisterhood and sharing a problem (could be workload or talking about problems...). You might have that lonely wolf mindset, but no matter how strong you are, out there, beeing alone can get you killed. I keep seeing pictures of spiritual communities and churches, you might wanna be looking for something like a mediation or yoga class, bible study group, a coven.... depending on your beliefsystem! you're right not everyone is your friend but also not everyone is your enemy!

ps. reading back this comes off a little weird and I feel like I need to say this. please don't join a cult lol. If you are in some kind of group and things feel off, please take care of yourself♡

hope that helped <3

#aa #free reading #selfcare #self love #tarot #emotional health #tarotblr #pick a card #pick a pile #pick a picture #manifestation #intuitive readings #selfhelp

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psychelis-new · 8 months

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pick a pile: "Your true colors - (5/7) Blue"

take a breath and choose the photo or number that calls you the most to read a message for you from the color blue, the fifth of the 7 rainbow's colors. in this serie of readings about the rainbow's colors, I will try to channel about your true colors, so to help you look inside and see your most beautiful self, appreciate yourself more and hopefully provide some type of guidance if necessary. as cindy lauper would say: "your true colors are beautiful like a rainbow", so let's look at them and hear what they have to say to you and how they (you) can help you look at things in a more positive way.

blue is the color of intuition, inner peace, serenity, spiritual development, acceptance, truth, communication, expression, service, artistry, purpose (throat chakra)... in this reading, I'll try to analyze this side of your character.

you can find the other colors' readings in the pacs list in my pinned post

don’t take the reading too seriously. only take what resonates with you and leave the rest. if you're not called by any pile, let this reading slid as it may not hold messages for you. if you're called by more than one pile, there may be messages in each of those piles. remember that is a general reading and some things may not resonate with you. energies can change and readings are based on present ones (as you read); you're always in charge of your life.

(photos found on unsplash)

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1 2 3 - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ -

pile 1

I hear "turmoil". And I think your intuition may be a bit clouded atm. You feel anxious or frustrated at times and may even lash out easily. Ofc it's not good to lash out on others: I think you may accumulate stuff inside until you cannot hold it anymore and you just randomly throw it all on someone that may even not have any fault or may only say a little "wrong" thing. It's a human coping mechanism and you're not doing it on purpose so try to forgive yourself: yes, this person may ofc feel hurt and not everyone may understand your situation or forgive you, especially if it happens more than once, but it's okay to lash out in general so to not keep stuff rotting inside and make it worse. To avoid such situations, you can try to find other outlets for this mental frustration, and use them before getting to that point: eg. moving your body or singing/shouting into the void, punching your pillow.... Maybe you were the one being lashed on in the past and you kinda learnt this habit or maybe you just feel lonely and not appreciated, or you are exhausted also by people and trying to keep up with them. Psychologically, we lash out on others cause it gives us a sense of control that we may lack, but we can change this anyway: we can unlearn stuff with patience, forgiveness and kindness (with yourself) and through repetitions. Learn to communicate more about your stress, your insecurities and fears, your blockages. If not with others, at least with yourself. You are brilliant and sweet but your mind may have troubles processing stuff when you're being overwhelmed by emotions or too many informations, so instead of going full beast mode (one of the 3 usual humans' reactions to this type of situations, dw), trying to focus on one thing at time could be of help. Move your body first, to liberate from the excess of energy and then, focus on journaling maybe (or doodling some specific patterns/coloring). I do feel that writing down your issues and feelings may help you give you a different perspective and also put everything in line and get clarity about what's going on. I do feel that sometimes you may be the one putting stress on yourself by overthinking situations, words and imagining (it's not your intuition talking here but your fears) what others may think of you or how they may perceive you. It's like always having a background noise in your mind and after a while, ofc you cannot deal with it anymore. It's like always feeling wrong and out of place. I'm very sorry about this, you don't deserve it at all and I hope you can shut this overthinking down by realizing your worth never depends on others' impressions of you. Your worth is already within you.

I think you may also hear what you've been told while growing up or by other people pretty often: what they told you when you did something "wrong" or how you were wasting your time if you only needed to relax, or anything of this kind. Honestly, your inner critic may have learned a lot from them and how they easily and even harshly judged you. There's some unlearning to do here, and it's a lot about how you communicate also with yourself not just with others. It's about being kinder, more compassionate and seeing things and your needs for what they are: human stuff. If you need to lay down, you're not wasting time: you're simply recharging. And helping yourself to work in a more efficient way the moment you'll feel replenished. You don't have to drag yourself to the final line, you're not going to win anything this way, not even the approval of those people (would it really matter anyway? Or be worth of all your energy and mental sanity?). Procrastination (and the frustration that may originate from it) happens not when you're lazy but when your body feels in a threat: no matter how many things are piling up in your life, you cannot do any of those and feel guilty and shame yourself as you were in your past. But your body won't move: it's not lack of willpower it's just that your body blocked to conserve energies and survive. If you experience feeling exhausted (even after sleeping), lack of motivation, needing to lay down and even feeling detached from your body, it may be your body trying to protect you from danger, and it could be worth to try and listen to it and understand what is the danger it is perceiving; after this meditation/analysis period, try to walk or do some grounding/breathing exercise and set just easy tasks and complete them slowly to regain control of the situation. Also try to get back in touch with your physical body by touching/caressing and really feeling your movements: dancing (or yoga) is ideal, and you don't have to be a pro: just try and feel your whole body moving. Even the smallest part of it. Mind, body and soul need to come back at one. Don't hold it against you if you cannot do something, tell your mind to stop for a moment: try to follow your body's advice and act as a consequence. Acceptance (about the fact that you need to stop for a little or that you need to do something in a different way from the usual or treat yourself as any other human being -despite you may have lerned you're unworthy and useless) is indeed the key to unblock yourself at times and really move forward. You may also be able to connect better/again with your intuition after this. So yes, for every hars comment you feel telling yourself, try to add a kinder comment about anything you have done or you are. You're not just inherently bad as you were probably made believe and your mind is suggesting you by making every little negative thing look bigger than it is (normal minds' job: they need to protect you so they exaggerate everything to be sure you listen to them), nobody is.

song: you spin me round (like a record) | dead or alive

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pile 2

Dear pile 2, you seem melancholic or nostalgic. And as in the Green reading, you don't wanna share. I know it comes from your gentleness and deep empathy, but you're not being a burden tbh. I read a thing once and it said something like: "Do you like being of help to others and friends, right? It makes you feel good, right? If your answer is yes, then why you don't want your friends to feel good after helping you? Why you're not allowing them to feel joy after doing something good for you?". I think you're used to do things alone and it may be difficult for you to rely on others. To talk about your insecurities and fears, and dreams too... but if you don't share them, others may never know them. Not everyone is emotionally intellingent/intuitive as you. For some of you, there may be perfectionism issues and you may also project them on others which is blocking you from interacting on a deeper level. It's not you, nor them... and you can heal this. Your pile almost feels a mix of the other two piles tbh. And I cannot grasp it entirely... It feels as if you have decided on your own (even unconsciously, as if you were powerless or blind to see/consider anything else) that your present situation is what you're supposed to do and be, and if for some of you it is a good thing, for others (most of you) is just more like accepting a sad situation as in "I cannot change it, so I will do this anyway... it's my duty". It's like a sacrifice you're doing for others' good. And for as noble as it may seem and is your intention (behind it all), it's not going to do you any good nor make you happy... and you know it. Honestly, if you don't like this, if you don't want it, you can change it. You don't have to do anything for others, unless you actively want it. There's no such thing as being doomed to live in a certain way, unless... we fear the change. Unless we decide to willingly close off to what else is calling for us out of fear. Fear of making it, fear of not being good enough, fear of not deserving it, fear of being seen as "different" from how we're generally perceived and therefore judged, fear of not being liked, fear of ending up alone. Fear of the unknown, basically. Of not having control or of being certain of how it will go (while we know exactly where we are and how it is). But we cannot control everything in life... actually we can't control much, just ourself. And ofc we may need to make certain decisions out of need (money, eg.) but... it doesn't seem your situation (maybe just a few of you). I feel you may be used to downplaying yourself/needs and self sabotaging yourself. It's not your fault ofc, it's something you learned from your past (I am hearing gaslighting, and I'm so sorry), but your mind needs to unlearn that, or you won't be able to move away from there ever nor see your real self (ask for help/support if you cannot make it alone or it feels scary. Even ask to a friend or someone you trust... it's okay). You're probably very connected with the moon, maybe you talk with her or you're very deep and like to dig within yourself. Or it's a big part of your chart. Maybe you're a lone wolf, and maybe you even like that (or pretend to, as said). Or maybe it's your soul trying to tell you something or awake you to who you really are. Maybe some of you already know what I am talking about but cannot do anything anyway: I know, it's not easy to take action and change this mental pattern, it's more easy to tell yourself things like "It's not worth it, it'll never happen, it's not for me, what would it change, it doesn't matter, it's a useless effort...". But you can actually change everything you want to. You have such a power the moment you really put your whole self into that. And it matters. If it matters to you, then it's all worth it. Every little effort you take, even if you won't see results at first, it'll be worth it. And it'll take you where you want. At least, it'll show you your worth and deservance for something else, something (at least closer to what) you want.

I think the moon wants to guide you somewhere through your intuition, probably to your real self: you may have been fed lies for a lot, lies about yourself too, and you may have started telling yourself lies as well, to stay in the same place, to be in control (maybe where those who told you first wanted to keep you). Be more real with yourself. Talk with yourself and go deep within, have no fear of finding confirmation for what you already feel but are trying to push away out of that fear, finding excuses and telling yourself lies. Telling yourself "it's okay/better this way, it's fine, I'm good" when you're not. You're so amazing pile 2... don't push this away.

You know it's all for you, you know it. You are beautiful and deserve more. Trust yourself, in particular trust your heart and your guts. I do think that you should trust your emotions more instead of closing them off and analyze them through your mind's filter. Your mind can be biased by all that has learned from others (eg. people pleasing is good when it's not), from the past, but it's not about others and the past, it's about you now. You know that there's something off in this situation you're in and trying to accept, so don't close off to the chance that you can change it, that it can be different, and that you don't have to accept it unless you really (be objective) want it. No matter if someone will be upset by this decision: it's your life, and if they love you, they'll understand (if they don't love you... It's not your people, you don't need them in your life, they won't bring you any good -sorry to be harsh but... it's better to stay alone for a while than to be with people who only use and abuse you). You only have to be yourself in this life, and not someone you're not. And being you, exactly you, trust me, is great. You have such a big heart and open mind (use 'em for yourself too)! I think you believe you are at peace now but it's a fake peace, it's a peace that comes from tranquillity and not having to deal with fears or not having to make decisions on your own and take responsibility for them: some of you may leave decisions about your life in the hands of others, maybe your caregivers (but they may not really know you well cause you aren't... able to speak your truth with them? All out of fear again, of not being "able" to make good decisions for yourself when you totally are). Anyway this is not the real inner peace your soul may be looking for. I do think you're here for something more, something big too actually (whatever you may consider big), and you feel it too. You're not here to do something that others may like, but you're here to do something you like and some others may appreciate too or be thankful for. Maybe not everyone and that's fine, but you'll find your people. You're here to find your purpose, even if it'll take a lot of time and you'll have to try many different roads before getting there (or maybe bravely do just what your souls is asking you to do). And make mistakes or experience some failures (sometimes we fall while running, but we can get up and run again: we don't always get harshly hurt and have to interrupt -you will be able to decide when it's time to give up if necessary). You're not here to live the purpose of anyone else or to let anyone else tell you what's your purpose: that's only your own soul's call. Others cannot know it unless you unleash it freely. Talk with your mind, please. There's so much potential within you (also in arts I hear -I do feel for many the issue's about career/studies), there's so much willpower and joy... don't be blind to it all.

song: because of you | ne-yo (first lines in particular)

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pile 3

Your pile is the one of those who are trying and choosing calmness over the agitation of life and their mind -or should. You could be very spiritually gifted or just very in tune with your spiritual side or the 5d. You like to take time for you, to meditate, to ponder... or again, you should. You may get downloads from the 5d pretty often, even if you're not aware of them yet, or always.. or you may occasionally block them even unwillingly (maybe cause of fear of the unknown or of receiving the wrong info or of how others would see you or think of you if they knew; or maybe you lack trust or something -could be a religious trauma too). You may doubt about your connection with the 5d or your abilities if you are into divination of any type. And you may not trust your intuition that often even if I think it's pretty on point. You have reached (or are going to reach soon) some type of inner peace (and clarity that will come from it) and this will help you a lot for your future endeavours, even those related with spirituality. I also think you may have undergone a spiritual awakening of sort and probably are taking some time off to recover from it and all the ups and downs it brought in your energy and mind/life. You may also be artists or love arts (and honestly working on something artsy of your like could help you find calmness and clarity too and maybe get clearer downloads too). I do feel lot of peace in your energy, it feels like floating on water, reconnecting with the self... Maybe you're called to do this if you're not there yet, if you are still confused at least here and there. Take time for you, to immerse yourself in a peaceful environment (maybe even in a pool of water or the sea or in a tub) and just stay there for a while and feel the water clense your energy, your mind and your whole self (if you can/are able to, you can literally go underwater for a moment and enjoy the silence there). Take time to disconnect from the rest, from all that is just bothering you and your energy (energy vampires for some). Reconnect with your core and your intuition, meditate near/under water. Feel your heart beating, focus on it.

You may experience occasional blockages in your communication (also your daily one, not with the 5d as mentioned): you may not always remember the word for something or feel like your mind may go blank here and there (especially during Mercury rx). This could make you retreat from others at times and not feel confident enough to be seen/share stuff (fear of making mistakes and look "stupid"/feel unworthy: you're not that, my love. Not even if you are used to get talked over or interrupted or not listened to. Please start talking and sharing what you want, it's ALL important stuff -especially if related with spirituality-, even the weirdest things: they're part of you and so very important and cool. If someone doesn't listen, find someone else: it's not you the "problem" but who you talk with; also be your own trusted audience: it starts with you, with giving yourself the right attention and importance. And trust. I mean, you're amazing, don't fear to be seen). Yes, it could be also because of some type of inner turmoil/doubt/insecurity so again, try to find some balance, and reach that inner peace you so deeply need. It'll bring clarity also for what's ahead and for the decisions you may need to take soon (can't be clearer, sorry, but there's something ahead and you may get infos after meditating). I think you may be often distracted by something/keep yourself occupied and moving from a thing to another almost restlessly: it could be your mind trying to avoid thinking about something specific (maybe your insecurities' source: if you slowed down you would be obliged to analyze it, and... tbh probably you should do it now before moving forward in your life -reminder you don't have to do it alone anyway) or it could just be that you don't really know what to do and/or who you are, and are trying different things. It's not bad per se, it's good to experience different things actually as you may get a proper feedback on them and decide if you really like them or not, but maybe after a while of no result/feeling nothing, you should try and realize which is the thing that really calls you instead of losing time and energy around (trying to make everyone else happy): working so much in so many directions (or with so many people telling us what to do/asking for help), won't always bring us answers. Especially if we're giving ourself away to others or helping others first. Try to go slowly for a while, and be open to any message that may reach you at that time of meditation. It's okay to stop at times, to take a breath: you're not running out of time. Take care of yourself now, treat yourself to some time off and get comfortable with yourself and your own emotions as they may just trigger you or overwhelm you very easily sometimes. Clarity is really just around the corner, is really there, behind all the noises that you may get from the more external parts of your mind, the ones you pay the most attention to during your daily life, the ones that listen to others much more than to yourself and your needs. You just need to find some peace and calm, to be able to see beyond those noises, to dig between them and get your answers. To trust and listen to yourself only. You're a beautiful talented soul, you deserve more, especially from yourself. Dogs/horses may be omens for you or may bring messages if you dream about them (you can check on Google some meanings also according on colors/breeds), or maybe they're your Chinese horoscope signs.

song: hrs & hrs | muni long

#pick a pile #pac #pick a card #pick a card reading #pick a photo #pick a card tarot #pick a picture #free tarot reading #tarot readings #intuitive readings #psychic readings #clairs readings #divination #colors readings #tarotcommunity #tarotblr

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suugarbabe · 9 months

Text

Forget Me Not (2)

[Chapter 2]

Pairing: Fred Weasley x Reader

Word Count: ~2.2k

Warnings: none; fluff

“W-who are you guys?”

Fred’s words echoed in your head like a gut-wrenching scream. You turned to George, not wanting to believe the situation unfolding in front of you, “He’s kidding right? Just one of those things you guys do? Georgie, tell me he’s kidding.” George’s face was full of sympathy, placing a hand on your shoulder, “I don’t think so, duck. It’s probably only temporary, you saw the gash on his head.” You nodded, trying to calm yourself down. George was able to convince you to go grab Fred some water as Molly and Arthur continued to look after him. You were filling a cup for him, when Ron and Hermione came up to you. “How’s he doing,” Hermione’s tone was careful, her eyes full of sorrow for you. “He’s alive at least but…” you trailed off, making Ron’s already worried face grow more pained, “W-what is it, y/n?” You were holding back tears again, stumbling over your words, “H-he…he doesn’t remember anything. He a-asked who we were, like he didn’t even recognize any of us, I just…I don’t know what to do or how to help him.” Hermione pulled your into her and you wrapped your arms around the girl, nearly sobbing now. Ron held on to both of you, trying to be encouraging, “He’ll remember, it might just take some time, you’ve been through too much for him to forget it all. You’ll see.”

You had wanted Ron’s words to be comforting, but the next two weeks proved to be anything but. The entire Weasley family, Hermione, Harry and yourself had all been staying at the burrow. Fred had been in and out of consciousness dealing with the rest of his injuries. You were by his side for a few hours each night, but it always seemed like he woke for a short period when you were either out of the house or someone else was looking after him. George was the first person Fred remembered, unsurprisingly. It happened randomly about the second or third night home. Fred had woken up from the couch, hearing commotion in the kitchen. You and George were making breakfast that day, giving Molly a break as she’d been nothing but stressed since the end of the war. You were setting the table when Fred walked into the kitchen, clapping a large hand on his twin’s shoulder, “Morning, Georgie.” George responded on instinct at first, “Morning Freddi-, wait, what did you just say?” Fred looked at his twin like he had gone nuts, “I said good morning, what’s wrong with you?” Hearing this interaction you rushed into the kitchen, hoping that a miracle had happened and Fred remembered everyone again, but when he saw you, there was no recognition. Instead, he elbowed George in the side, “Who’s the bird, Georgie? Didn’t know you could get a girl as gorgeous as her to fall for you.” He threw you a playful wink, and your heart soared slightly at his ability to unknowingly reassure he was still attracted to you, despite not realizing who you were.

George gave you sorrowful eyes, but you just threw on your best smile, extending your hand out to Fred, “I’m, Y/n. While I appreciate the compliment, George and I are just friends.” He took your hand, kissing the top of it, “Well he is certainly a fool.” Your cheeks blushed immediately. George watched this interaction, smirk growing before remembering that Fred actually remembered who he was, “Freddie, you know who I am?” Fred looked at him like he had three heads, “Of course I know who my own twin is, ya git.” Fred laughed, shaking his head, but George grabbed him by the shoulders, “Freddie, my boy, what’s the last thing you remember?”

“Fred’s remembering things?” Ron was practically running down the stairs, but shouting as he went, “YOU GUYS FRED IS REMEMBERING THINGS!” There was suddenly a stampede of red hair, now all gathering in the kitchen, however it was evident George was the luckiest member of the family because when Fred saw the group of Weasley’s surrounding him his first response was, “Georgie, there a ginger convention in town?”

Within the next two weeks Fred had slowly began remembering each member of his family. Molly and Arthur were next, then Ron and Ginny, followed by Bill and Charlie. He remembered Percy last, or at least that’s what he said, no one could know for sure if it was the truth, or if he had remembered Percy earlier and just said he still didn’t remember to make him angry.

One afternoon, George had found you out in the back garden, watching the gnomes run around and fight each other. He sat down next to you, not saying anything but sharing his presence. After a moment, you spoke up, “I don’t think he’s ever going to remember me, Georgie... I love him so much, I guess he just didn’t feel the same.” George wrapped an arm around your shoulder, pulling you closer so your head was leaning on him. You wrapped your arms around his waist, “I really thought I was important enough to not forget, at least not forever.” You felt George shake his head, “I don’t think that’s it, duck. He definitely feels something for you, he talks about you just about every bloody night. It’s like when he first started falling for you. I’m hearing basically all the same bullocks he was spouting before you two got together.”

This made you feel a little better, that even though Fred couldn’t necessarily remember your relationship for the past year, he was falling for you all over again. If that’s what you had to do, then you would do it. You would pursue him again, make him fall in love with you again. You couldn’t lose him, not after everything that you’ve been through. Not after everything that’s happened.

“Why don’t you just tell him that you’re his girlfriend, duck? He’d be over the fucking moon to know he’s actually scored you before. Might even bring back all the memories of you to begin with.” You shook your head at George, wiping away your tears, “No, I can't do that. As much as it hurts I don’t want him to feel like he’s obligated to me if he doesn’t start remembering. That he has to be a certain way with me because that’s how it was before. I mean, I’m glad it seems like he has at least some sort of crush on me. Gives me hope, yanno? But, he’s gotta remember without being pushed.” George nodded in understanding.

So, you stood up from the garden bench, giving George one more hug and headed back towards the burrow. To your delight, Fred was sitting at the table, making himself a sandwich for lunch. He looked up when he heard someone enter, a smile breaking on his face when he saw it was you. His smile was one of the first things you fell in love with. It was hard not to, all the pranks and jokes he was pulling he was smiling nearly all the time. “Hey, y/n, was just making myself some lunch, want me to make you one too?” You nodded, sitting down across from him, “Sounds great, Freddie. Whatcha makin?”

His smile grew wider, if possible, “Marshmallow fluff, bananas and Nutella. You have to try it, it’s absolutely delicious. I cannot for the life of me remember who told me about these but I’ve been craving one all morning and had to make it.” You laughed to yourself. You had introduced Fred and George to these sandwiches the summer of second year, they said they were craving something sweet but Molly said you couldn't have only sweets for lunch. Thus, you provided the alternative to the twins. It became your regular munchies snack. Fred happily made you your own, observing you as you took your first bite.

“So, darling, what do you think?” Fred was watching you eagerly, analyzing your facial expressions. You hummed as you chewed, “So good.” You ate together in content silence. Every so often you would steal a glance at Fred, just to find him already looking at you. It reminded you of fifth year, when you first recognized you had a crush on him. You’d be sitting together at meals in the great hall. George and Dean drowning on about a prank they were planning and you’d glance at Fred, just to look at him. But he’d be looking at you already, freckled cheeks flushing and eyes darting away as soon as they locked with yours. But it was different today, he didn’t shy away when you caught him looking, he just kept staring, not ashamed. Your heart ached at how much you missed him.

“So do you feel like everything’s pretty much back to normal for you? Memory wise I mean,” you were gathering up your plate, grabbing his as well to put in the sink. He shook his head, “Sort of? But not entirely.” This made you a little hopeful, “What do you mean?” He shrugged, standing up from the table and heading to the couch, “Dunno it's like…I have all these memories of different things, some are so vivid and clear like I never forgot anything in the first place. But then others…it’s like…” he turned to you, both sitting on the couch now, “I have this very specific dream that I keep having, it feels like a memory but parts of it are kind of…fuzzy, if that makes sense.”

You placed a hand on his leg closest to you, it was instinct when you were comforting him, but you didn’t miss how his eyes darted down quickly and his cheeks flushed. You kept your hand there, encouraging him to continue, “How do you mean? Like you think it’s not a memory?” He shook his head, hands flying through the air as he spoke now, “No, no, it’s like I can feel it in my soul that it happened, but for whatever reason the person with me, I just can’t see them. Like, okay. So in this dream we’re at Hogwarts right? And we’re going through Snape's closet looking for the right ingredients to make these amazing fireworks because we’re going to blow them up during Ron’s owls. And I vividly remember pulling that stunt with George, the look on Umbridge’s face. Priceless. But whoever was with me that night, I just can’t see them.”

His face fell, and your heart started to ache for him. You knew it was you he couldn’t remember. You remember breaking into Snape’s closet, filling your school bags with different ingredients, feeling the rush of adrenaline when you heard Mrs. Norris down the corridor and Fred lacing his fingers with yours and he rushed you both down the hall and into a nearby classroom until he saw on the map that the coast was clear. “I know they were important to me,” Fred continued, “but, Merlin, every time I think about it, try harder to remember them I get this bloody headache and my chest hurts.” He was bent over now, elbows on his knees and head in his hands now.

You leaned closer to him, lightly scratching up and down his back. You’ve done it a million times to soothe him and it seemed to be having the same effect. His shoulders relaxed, breathing evening out. “This is gonna sound like a weird request, and if I’m overstepping boundaries you can tell me no,” Fred looked over at you, and you knew whatever request he had you were going to say yes. “Anything, Fred, what is it?” He took a deep breath, seemingly nervous about how you’d react, “I just, do you think you could hold me? Not like in a weird way! Just, could we lay down and I lay on you and you…keep scratching my back? I’ve just been so stressed and it’s one of the first things to really made me feel relaxed.”

You felt yourself melting at his request. You laid back on the couch, head resting on the armrest. You opened your arms, beckoning him to you. He crawled over to you, resting his upper half on top of you. The weight of him felt like home, a comfort you’ve been neglected of for the last two and a half weeks. He hasn’t been by any type of smoke or fireworks since before the day of the war but he still smelled like firework smoke and cinnamon. You had to resist deeply inhaling him. Like muscle memory his hands found solace around your waist. You ran your nails up and down his back, applying light pressure in the spots you know he loves. You threaded the fingers of your other hand in his hair, lightly scratching his scalp. You felt him hum against your neck, “Feels s’good. Very relaxing.” You smiled to yourself, happy to have him so close to you again. You felt his arms tighten around you ever-so-slightly, “M’sorry I don’t remember you, y/n.” You hands stilled as he kept talking, “I know you’re someone important to me. I can feel it, feel it all over. I wrack my brain every day for some sort of memory with you in it and I just can’t make them come.” You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, squeezing him hard against you now, “It’s okay, Freddie.” You kissed the top of his head, “We’ll make new memories.”

Taglist:

@words-are-cheap @l0ulistens @reallysparklychaos

AN: dunno how long this series is gonna be but it's gonna be kind of a slowburn regardless. also if your name is bold i tried to tag you and it didn't work. sozz :(

#forget me not #fred weasley fic #fred weasley #fred weasley x reader #fred weasley x you #fred weasley x y/n #harry potter #golden era #fred weasley fluff

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tojisun · 1 year

Note

🧸Toji Fushiguro is an interesting friend…

🧸Toji will casually walk into your house, rummage your fridge, & fix himself a snack BEFORE he’s says hello

🧸 Toji will randomly appear in your home. Sometime you’ll come home to hear him in the shower or see him sleeping on your couch or exercising in your living room

🧸 One day Toji started leaving a envelope filled with a wad of cash for “his rent” on the table at the first of every month wait you don’t remember him moving him

🧸 Before you know it, you & Toji frequently hang out together it’s almost like y’all are dating

🧸 Toji starts referring to your home as “our home” out of no where. What’s yours is automatically his too and vice versa. This is non-negotiable

🧸💍 And before he knows it: Toji Fushiguro is sitting in a restaurant with his family. He’s happily watching the sight in front of him. Megumi, his 2 yr old son, bonding with his future mom a.k.a Toji’s pregnant fiancée over the his favorite tv show. Toji just cannot believe how lucky he is to finally have peace. To have someone as patient and understanding. For his son to potentially grow up in a stable household. Toji’s not sure why or how he became so blessed, but he’s swears on his 6 pack that he will fight to keep this little slice of heaven on Earth

OMGNSJDJS I LOVE THIS SO MUCH!!!

im just imagining the transition from you two being roommates to becoming couple and it’s making me lose my mind ngl 😭

“hey, did you know we were dating?” toji asks, his voice breaking the silence between you two. the rerun of an old episode of some cartoon served as white noise while you and toji went about your businesses — him, aimlessly scrolling through his phone, and you, head buried on a book.

you look up from your place on the beanbag, your eyes narrowed in confusion as you turned to toji who’s laying on the sofa that he could barely fit in, his long legs dangling from the armrest. he peers up at you from his phone and wiggles his eyebrows at you as he smiles, his scarred lips dancing in mirth.

“we were?” you ask, confused.

toji turns his phone towards you as if you can see the tiny screen given the distance between you two. “yeah,” he says. “gojo’s askin’ why we didn’t tell them the news.” he turns his phone to himself again after that before tapping at his screen.

“what’d you say?” you managed to get out, shutting your book close and belatedly realizing you forgot to mark the page you were on.

toji shrugs. how he managed to do that while being squished on the sofa, you do not know. you hum, distracted.

sure you and toji were close — too close, some of your mutual friends would say — but you always assumed it was normal because you and toji have been friends for years now. three years in university, where you two first met, and three years more after finding each other in tokyo — something you didn’t even think was possible because after graduation, you and toji went on your separate ways.

but it’s not like your friends did anything less. hell, you even walked in on shoko — shirtless and only reduced in booty shorts and her sports bra — sitting on suguru’s lap while she put eyeliner on him. you didn’t even bat an eye at the display because that had been normal for all of you guys. so you wonder why was sharing a flat with toji, sharing clothes with toji, and having you two cook for each other was dubbed as too intimate.

you pause, mind reeling a little bit because now that you thought about it—

“oh,” toji says, breaking through your ruminating. “i said we wanted to take things slow.”

you blink, your heart stuttering in your chest. you turn to toji, your lips parted in surprise.

“huh?”

“well, you know.” you do not know. “i was thinking about it and it’s not a bad idea for us to date.” it isn’t?

“it isn’t?” you repeat, this time out loud.

toji sits up from the sofa. “it isn’t.” his eyes are serious as they gazed at you. “wanna make it official? us two?”

“oh,” you utter, breathless. “sure.”

toji smiles, his gaze turning soft. “really?”

“yeah,” you say, this time feeling your own lips tugging in a smile. “i’d love that.”

“me too,” he whispers before he is standing up to cross the distance between you two, kneeling down in front of you, his face inches away from yours. you look into his eyes, see the question, and in reply, you cross the minimal distance and slot your lips with his.

toji’s lips wobble from where they are pressed to yours, before his hands cup your cheeks, angling his head better, and then devouring you; devoting all of his piled up love for you into this moment. into this kiss.

you gasp, rattled from the desperation of his touch, before kissing back just as passionately.

when your eyes close, your skin breaking out in goosebumps, you wonder: how long had he been waiting for this?

(“too long,” toji would tell you later, his chest pressed on your back. your cheeks would warm up and you would hide your face behind your palms as toji chuckles, his shoulders shaking and his deep voice reverberating between your naked bodies. “and you’re so damn worth every second.”)

#suns.hc #ch3rrykoolaid #ask #toji fushiguro x reader #toji fushiguro x you #toji fushiguro x y/n #jjk x reader #toji x reader #toji fushiguro #jjk #suns #I HAD TO RAMBLE TOO BECAUSE THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER #I LOVE ‘WEIRD’ FRIEND TOJI #thank yiu so much babe for dropping this in the inbox #head super duper empty #not a single thought

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avastrasposts · 4 months

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Some end of year mush for my readers

Below is a longer message that’s more personal so I’ll hide that below the cut for anyone who’s not interested. But before I get to that I just wanted to send a message to all of those who have read my fics this past year. You’re often a bit more anonymous to me than the people I count as friends, but that’s only because I don’t know you yet (seriously, come yell in my inbox, that’s how all friendships here start!).

But I see you all, whether you’re liking your way through 300k+ words of The Pilot and his Girl or just randomly reblogging something short I wrote back in March, I see and appreciate you all. I love hearing what you think about what you’ve read, but if you’re more comfortable just reblogging or liking, that’s more than fine. But I do really notice and appreciate all of you who read and react what I publish. I hope my stories bring a little bit of entertainment and distraction from whatever else your life is. The responses you’ve all given me, it really means the world. Love you all ❤

So to the more personal message.

I want to send a little message out (who am I kidding, I’m unable to keep things short) at the end of the year and tell you all what a difference some things make. But first, to be honest, I haven’t had a very difficult year, I’m ridiculously privileged, and I try to remember and appreciate that. I count my blessings because life hasn’t always been this easy. But I think it makes me notice the difference small actions make, how one act of kindness really creates ripple effects.

I know others have had very real struggles in 2023 and have overcome, or are still struggling with, real issues and this year has given me the opportunity to see how much of a difference a small online community can make. I appreciate and love everyone of you who has had the guts to open up when things are tough and ask for help, who opened their (digital) arms and inboxes and wanted to help, genuinely help, those who were struggling, by sending a friendly message, by understanding and responding, offering to help, to let them know that they’re not alone. And to let us all have a safe space online where we can be as weird and sad and irrational and deluded (and horny) as we want.

I know all fandoms have drama but the amount of nice people I’ve met on Tumblr this year by far outweighs any drama. For 99.9% of us, Pedro should be so lucky to have us as his fans! I feel like the goodness that he seems to spread, is emulated among those who go slightly feral (in the best possible way) for him.

I’ve been fortunate enough to have made a small group of friends this year in the fandom, and these past few months with you guys (you know who you are), have been the best. You’ve made me laugh and cry (and stress out over how the hell I’m supposed to read all of your amazing fics!). I’m constantly amazed by how supportive and kind you are, how, by pure chance, we all stumbled into each other's paths at just the right time and how we now just seem to fit together. Whether it’s about how we’re going to survive the release of Gladiator 2 (seriously, we’re going to need a phone chain or something for welfare checks….) or how to handle any number of just “life” things that we all have to combat. You lot are always there with sage advice, supportive words and encouragement in a way I’ve never experienced with a group of friends before. Seriously, you’re all the best and I’m so happy to be your friend.

And here's my our sweet Pedro just because this man somehow inspired me to write so many words this year...

#personal

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bookscandlesnbts · 4 months

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Jimin, Serendipity, and Me

I’ve been wanting to make this post for a while. I had to wait until all the dust settled from MS and I could type this without crying. It’s no secret that Jimin is very special to me, which sounds silly to say because I don’t actually know him in real life, but I feel connected to him. Hear me out.

Even after all of the amazing solo songs that Jimin has gifted us, Serendipity is still my favorite. Between the concept of serendipity itself, the sweet meaningful lyrics, Jimin’s delicate angelic vocals, the lofi production, and last but not least, the choreography, I can’t imagine Jimin releasing a song that I like more. Well, he’s Park Jimin so obviously he could, but I don’t think I’ll have the same emotional connection to it let’s just say.

Now the concept of Serendipity is also meaningful to me. The dictionary definition is as follows: the occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way.

So how do Jimin and Serendipity connect with me? Let me explain.

For many of us, Jimin is our comfort person. I personally do not have a partner (not a pity party I don’t want to date anyone) but I do have close friends. And I have Jimin. So, when Jimin went off to MS, I knew I would lose those moments of Serendipty where he would surprise me with his goregous presence and soothing voice when I needed him. I’m talking about Weverse Lives here and formerly Vlives. We know in Jimin’s case that lives are planned and not at all spontaneous like Jungkook. And, we know last year these were few and far between. He’s usually at Hybe or in the car coming to and from work, so when these lives lined up with big moments in my life, it was true serendipity.

1. My “big girl” job interview. When I interviewed for a faculty position (current place of employment), I was extremely nervous. I was still in graduate school, hadn’t defended by PhD yet and had no idea what to expect. I woke up really early and when I started doing my make up, I got the notification on my phone that Jimin went live. It was a much needed confidence boost and what timing.

2. My actual PhD defense. A few months later, the same thing happened again. Morning of my PhD defense I was awake super early and putting my make up on and Jimin went live and I watched and listened to him talk the entire time I got ready. It was the good omen that I needed and serendipitous that the random time Jimin was live again was on the morning of my PhD defense.

3. This example was in 2021, but it still counts. I was with a friend at Disney and it was 1:00 am and she randomly got sick and was throwing up in the bathroom. I am petrified of throwing up. No, I’m not the friend that is going to hold your hair back; I’m going to have a panic attack instead. While this was happening, Jimin went live (I remember he was in the car) and listening to him and focusing on him really calmed me down.

In conclusion, Jimin has unknowingly supported me through some huge moments in my life. And it was especially hard coming to terms with him not being here this year. Fortunately, no major milestones should be happening this year for me, but it was always interesting seeing when we would get to see him. This was more cathartic for me to write than anything. But given how special Jimin is, I wouldn’t be surprised if he has serendipitously been there for you too.

#park jimim #jiminbts #park jimin #serendipity

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frostironfudge · 2 years

Text

Press Four For Poppet - Steve Rogers

Summary: Steve dials a number he never thought he would. (Basically he calls a sexy times hotline, and you're the operator.)

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings: main kink: phone sex, shameless smut, dirty talking, descriptions of oral m and f reciving, p in v, steve being sorta naive but also a dirty dirty boy, switch!steve, switch!reader, italics is an automated voice MINORS DNI.

A.N: i mean i thought this concept was really fun especially with steve, let me know what you think!

Main Masterlist || AO3 || Kinktober Materlist

Steve toys with the flip-phone, still not accommodated to the full touch one’s Tony has tried and failed to hook him upon. The little notebook rests opened to that damned page. He can still hear Sam and Natasha giggling as they write into his notebook.

He stares at the writing, crisp clear script most likely Sam’s because Natasha’s cursive could very well be latin for anyone attempting to read.

‘Call this number when you’re feeling particularly lonely’ Followed by a winky face emoticon? Emoji? Steve sighs running a hand over his face, biting his lips. Curiosity getting the better of him, he dials the number.

Taking a gulp of water to soothe himself.

“Hello Sweetheart, Welcome To Nights Of Pleasure, A call in phone sex service—,” The automated voice is cut off.

Steve sputters out all the water, coughing and flipping his phone shut. He catches his breath, clutching at his chest and then he looks back down at the notebook. What the every loving heavens had they consumed that night?

His cheeks and tips of his ears tinged red, nervously he wonders, how intimacy had turned into this sort of thing. Would it be so bad? He wonders. Would it ease the little ache he feels? It was a stranger, he didn’t have to be the man holding the shield, nor the man with a star on his chest. He didn’t have to be the man out of time.

He could be a stranger, a moment in someone’s night finding his own.

Retrieving the device he dials the number again, the automated voice greets him again,

“Please note the different plans we offer, thirty minutes eighty dollars, forty-five minutes one-sixty dollars, one hour two hundred dollars, you may even purchase gifts for your speakers as a thanks for additional charges, please punch in your card number to purchase your preferred plan.”

Shit, where the hell was that card Tony gave to him? He scrambles around his day’s clothes search for the wallet.

“We haven’t received any input, please punch in your card details to prevent auto disconnection.”

“We haven’t received any input, please punch in your card details to prevent auto disconnection.” The voice repeats.

“Just a second.” Steve grumbles, “Aha!” he begins to enter the details with shaky hands, he was really doing this, the reality of it was dawning upon him.

“Please press 2, 3 or 4, for your choice of time.” The voice requests, Steve ponders,

“We have not received—,”

Steve panic presses randomly,

“Thank you for choosing one hour and a welcome gift for your person. Please input your gender. Male six, female 3.” The voice could almost sound happy,

“Thank you for your three hundred fifty dollar payment.”

“Please input your preferred gender to talk to, Male six, female three.”

He facepalms as he presses the required options, if Tony checks the card statement Steve is sure he won’t escape the teasing.

“Please choose from the following: Baby press one, Peach press two, Kitten press three, Poppet press four and Blossom press five, Princess press six.”

He contemplates, then settles on number four, the line beeps.

“Your operator will guide you to the extension server incase you require our services beyond your stipulated time.” the line then beats to a rhythm, the melody unfamiliar.

“Hello there, handsome! I’m Poppet, by what name may I call you? Remember you should give me your fake name, or a nickname.” Your smooth voice greets him.

His cheeks tinge red, “I-I um,” he stumbles over his words.

“First time on here?” You ask, he could hear the hint of a smile on your face.

“Yes ma’am.” He smiles as you chuckle.

“Oh handsome, we’re probably going to get down and dirty, call me Poppet, I’m your Poppet for tonight.” You dip your baritone and it sends a shiver through Steve.

“I, how would you know I’m using my real name?” Steve questions, you laugh.

“Well I have no way to confirm, it’s to protect your privacy.” You say with a shrug, admiring the little teddy bear and chocolates that delivered to your station.

“Would, would it be okay if you called me Steve?” He questions.

“Of course, Steve, I want to say thank you for the gift.” You smile, the little bear had the cutest nose and you had wanted one.

“What gift did they give you?” He wonders curiously, finding himself smiling.

“Oh a lot of chocolates and a teddy bear, I’ve wanted this one since a while, might name him after you.” You giggle as he breathes out a laugh.

“What are you naming the bear?” He questions.

“Steve are you trying to get me to name my teddy after you?” You tease.

“It’s only fair, Poppet.” He smiles when you laugh again.

“Alright fair point, teddy, you hereby are named, Steve.” You declare.

“Thank you.” He says, you smile.

There is a moment of silence, Steve ponders upon what to say next.

“Did you have a hard day today?” You question.

“Of sorts…” He winces slightly in remembrance.

“I could help distract you… Help you forget.” You offer, Steve softly groans as your voice wraps around him.

“How would you do that, Poppet?” He questions.

“Could be on my knees for you, Steve.” You bite your lip, hearing the clink of his belt.

“Are you getting yourself hard for me?” You question with saccharine innocence, “Palming yourself?”

“Yes..” He hisses as his cock twitches in its confines.

“Bet your cock’s gorgeous Steve, are you keeping your cock in your boxers still?” You smirk, as he breathes out a yes.

“Oh Steve, baby let me see.” You coo, he sets the phone on speaker, raising his hips Steve frees himself from the confines, groaning as the cold air touches him.

“Take your shirt off too, Steve, how am I going to leave kisses down your body if you deny your Poppet?” You pout, Steve nods.

“Can’t have my Poppet upset.” He says, voice breathless.

“Touch yourself, fingertips on your neck then across your chest, Steve, bet your skin’s so pretty. Want me to mark and kiss?” You question, toying with your bear’s bowtie.

“Yes please.” He agrees,

“You want to tug on your nipples for me? Tell me how that feels baby.” You request, Steve slowly approaches the sensitive flesh, biting down on his lips as a rush of current moves through him.

“Look at you, Steve, leaking with precum on that pretty cock, you want to know what I’d do?” Your voice dropped low, sensual, Steve whines in response.

“Words sweet boy.” You order.

“Tell me what you would do to my cock, Poppet.” He finds his voice.

“Circle your thumb around the tip, gather that precum, that would be me, wanting a taste. Do you want to taste yourself baby?”

“Fuck Poppet, can-can I?” He almost begs, sounding so sweet.

“You can sweet boy, have a taste, wish I could taste you, Steve.” You moan softly. Steve groans around his thumb, hips bucking up from the bed at the sound of your arousal.

“Wrap your hand around the base, slowly move, tell me how it feels.”

Steve whimpers, needing more than just slow movements.

“Play with your balls baby, are they heavy? Aching for release?” You ask, humming as he whispers a breathless yes.

Steve’s hand caresses his balls, squeezing when you tell him, then you ask him to return to moving his hand over his shaft.

“Now use your other hand to cup your balls, fuck look at you, could have you filling my mouth, covering my tits with your cum.” You hum, then moan at the thought.

Steve does as you order, hips bucking into his hand, “Fuck, fuck, fuck, so close, want your pretty pussy little Poppet.” he begs.

“Want me to ride you Steve? Want my tight walls squeezing your cock? Want your cum filling me cunt?” Your voice is breathless, Steve wonders if you’re touching yourself, the thought has his cock twitch.

“The you want to watch your cum drip onto my thighs?” You ask he groans, fuck he sounds so fucking hot.

“Yes, fuck, all of it, want to eat your pretty pussy out after I fill you with my seed.” He groans again, pleasure searing across his heated skin.

“Wanna play with my tits too? Watching them as I ride you like a good girl? Hmm, Steve, tell me.”You request.

Steve can feel his orgasm build, “So close, so close, gonna fuck you on every surface, my bed, desk, against the wall, fuck even if I’m sitting on the chair want you on my cock.” He groans.

“Cum for me Steve please, I’m so close, need you to cum so i can, fuck you feel so good, filling up my greedy cunt, only greedy for you.” You whimper his name and it sends him over the edge, his moan has you clenching your thighs, you definitely need to change your underwear.

“Fuck, Poppet—, that, shit.” He chuckles, breathless seeing the mess of his hands and abdomen.

“Want me to lick you clean Steve? We’ve got time.” You tease, Steve chuckles, feeling himself harden again.

“Will let me eat you out?” He requests.

“I’ll ride your face, how about that?” You offer, smiling at his moan.

Oh he was definitely extending his time with you.

-x-

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10underoot2 · 19 days

Text

My take on the saddest scene in Queen of tears yet. This is the long version I'll post a shorter one for those who don't want read so much. I love this scene so much cause It always makes me feel so many emotions and I'm so scared years down the line I'll forget why I love it so much. So here's everything it makes me feel and what I think it makes these two feel as well.

We can't start this scene without context. It's set at the end of the day. It's the same day the audit report came out. The same day Haein went to the funeral of her employee. And the same day she met Hyunwoo for a brief while and obliterated him.

Haein To Hyunwoo: 'Why did you send the flowers? And the condolence money? Stop playing. You digust me. Even if I forget my memory down the road, I will never forget what you did to me. You let go of my hand when I was the most helpless. I will never forgive you. Try all you want but I will resent you till my dying breath. So all you need to do is stay still and get lost when I tell you to.'

Cut to the end of the day when she's almost home and Hyunwoo sees her in the rain.

First things first, notice how he immediately places the jacket despite hearing her say just a few hours ago that his really heartfelt gesture is insincere as she claimes to hate him. Hyun woo knows that anything he does now she'll think of it as a fake act and not genuine at all. Yet he really did not care. He said F that, I'm still gonna take care of you. [From this point on everything italicized is my commentary on their emotions/actings or just my thoughts]

HI: 'What about you? How did you know I was here?'

He hasn't caught on. He thinks its one of her moments where she's just came to and is offering him a tidbit just cause he's there. After their last conversation the tone, the question, the happiness to see him doesn't make sense to him.

HI: 'Did you maybe recognize this Umbrella? Do you remember giving it to me? I was really dumbfounded back then.'

An umbrella I don't think he's seen in 3 years or knows that she's held on to. The fact that she randomly caries it is ndjdjsjdj. Girl, literally just came back from dinner 😭. She carries the umbrella HE GAVE her 3 years ago when he told her he likes her. Gah this woman and her love.

HW: 'Hae ina...'

I think he's a little dumbdounded by her behaviour at this point. He's calling her cause something's off. He's catching the trace of that bubly, beautiful Hae in he fell in love with. Something he hasn't seen or experienced in 2 years. He's detecting the warmth and happiness of their collective past.

HI: 'Don't give me that look -

The look of worry and pain? The look of thousands of un-said emotions? Insert as many as you can here after looking at Hyunwoo cause imagine what she did see to ask him not to give her that sad look. It's a look she recognises having been married to him all these years. So she continues to reassure him;

'I can go to Germany and receive treatment.'

And here it clicks. Oh. She doesn't....... remember. But how - why is she still so kind to me? Surely she said she'd never forget that she....hates me. She's smiling at me now as if nothing in the world is wrong. Like this disease is nothing but a mere pebble in their way.

BW: 'Haeina.... '

He's so confused and dumbfounded. He can't comprehend or understand. It is this really happening? Maybe he just needs to call her and she'll come back to like she always does. Is it really that bad now? Why isn't she coming back to herself?

HI: 'Why do you keep calling me?'

He's hardly holding it together here and then she moves forward to touch him. Softy and gently pats his shoulder dry just like she probably used to. There couldn't be a surer sign that she cares. But that's not all she then wraps her hands around his holding the umbrella. Physical touch. He's forgotten the last time she was so unrestraint in her touch. Believing that he is indeed hers, like she had every right to touch him. Was it 3 years ago? Nothing could have prepared him for what comes next;

'Right you know, Ye-na right? She got into a car accident two days ago......[continued whole story]'

And I think this is what truly, utterly breaks his heart. He can't hold it in any longer.

Her sickness is at the forefront here. He's reliving a conversation with his wife he's had a few days ago. His meticulous, amazing, sharp CEO wife is repeating a conversation to a man she's sworn to hate.

The particulars of the conversation are ringing in his ear again. That's what he tried to do when this wife - who loved him so softly, loved him enough to hold onto an umbrella from 3 years ago, loved him enough to remember her love for him even when she's forgtting her memories - told him that she was going through a disease so terrible. And the worst part ... He wasn't there for her, he's made her think he hates her.

HI: 'Are you crying?'

HW: 'I'm sorry' It's all he can say. There's nothing else to say really. What excuse can he give. He's just filled with regret and so so sorry.

HI: 'What are you sorry about?' She says it so softly while touching him AGAIN. She's so oblivious to any fault of his in this moment. She asks him in a 'what have you ever done to be sorry about' tone.

She hugs and he truly lets go. Does he remember being hugged like this? Probably not. It's been 2 long years. Does he finally remember what made it all worth it?

HI: 'Are you really that worried?' He must be mentally wreaking himself. Yes I am this worried. But I can't show you just how much. Why wasn't I this worried before?

'Dont you worry.' How can he not?- this episode she's having is far from comforting and he knows this disease isn't getting any better at this point and he's running out of time so fast. So much is going through his head. But then she delivers the final blow in all her innocence;

'Baek Hyunwoo, I love you'

She love me....shes loves me? She loves me! She loves me. She. Loves. Me. She loved me...... All this time.

Doesn't it hurt so bad to forget, Hyunwoo?

HW: 'I wish this moment wouldn't end. I wish you'd continue to smile at me without knowing the truth.' [proceeds to bring her up to speed]. There are times when people completely forget things even if they're not sick. I was the same. I had forgotten it all.'

Favourite line. It backs everything I've written above because that's literally why he's been brawling his eyes out these past 2 Minutes. Also captures all his emotions and bad decisions so perfectly. He'd simply forgotten and that made all the difference.

When he tells her about the divorce here, isn't he essentially telling a Hae in so totally in love that he's divorcing her: somewhat exactly liek it happened in Germany. Doesn't her reaction make so much sense now for us and for Hyunwoo.

Also I think this is a big stretch but respect was a major reason in him telling her the truth and bringing her up to soeed about them but maybe another was that he couldn't bear her looking at him with so much love after all the bad decisions he had made.

When she refuses to believe him he says: 'Then try to remember what I did to you and how much you resented me.' It's physically painful for him to say it but I think it's also him trying to get her to find her will to live again. What he doesn't see is that he didn't need to. This scene is really screaming Haein's thoughts 'I love you and that's reason enough for me to fight to live' but I guess he really misses out on it in his grief.

Totally side note but he was such a bastard for what he said to her in Germany while trying to get her to live. It's literally so painful to watch especially as a flash back here.

The step back she takes after realizing and remembering. I wonder did she remember she told him I love you not a few moments ago? I think she does which is why she's even more embarrassed, hurt and angry.

HW: 'Haeina -'

HI: 'Stop I remember now. I remember how much you hate me and how miserable your life has become. It must have been entertaining to watch me not remember anything and spew nonsense.'

He's so confused here help. He can't help but betray his true feelings. He's desperate to have her not misunderstand but why he just made her remember her hatred for her.

HY: 'No, Haeina I wasn't -'

HI: 'I was miserable because of you too. It wasn't just you. I was miserable too. I can't spend the rest of my life next to you I want a divorce let's separate our ways.'

Do you think this was because she realised his malice towards her in this scene when she remembered back what he had said to her. Haein remembered everything - how he was miserable, how he was making her miserable despite her loving him - and just said enough. Time to let go for all our sakes. Time to end his suffering maybe he'll resent me less like this. Please notice her tears afterwards cause she's clearly in so much pain. She doesn't want divorce him because she indeed does still love him. Also Haein must be so confused cause he said he wanted to divorce me so why is he crying now?!

This is why this scene is the most heartbreaking scene for me in this series yet. It's so painful.

Also this scene is set in rain, has a beautiful transition from when he first asked her to marry him, and reminds me of the pride and prejudice confession scene as well. Enough reasons to like it I guess.

#queen of tears #baek hyun woo #kdrama #hong hae in #kim ji won #kim soo hyun #episode 7

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granulesofsand · 2 months

Note

Good gay/night/else, Dune! Never wrote you (probably, I don't remember) but now I have a question and wander if you guys can know answer. Do not answer if what is inside makes you feel uneasy or bad or smth else, take care of yourselves, you are one of my favourite blogs to follow

TW for programming, brief mention of torture, sex and missing limbs (nothing detailed, not real gore)

So.

1) our whole life (as we remember it) our legs sometimes just deactivate randomly during day. We always needed to spend some time to make them work again

2) as we understood more about being system, we noticed that "no-no legs" is actually switching to somebody

3) it's nonhuman alter that "smells" like somebody related to sex, thinking about itself as thing made for sex

4) we probably have programming and do wander if it's programmed alter or smth like this

We have bad feelings about it. It feels very wrong. We wonder if you have ever seen something like this or expiriensed it. We heared only about hc-did systems being tortured aka programmed to think that body misses limbs, but we don't remember anything like this and we never had even big bruises in childhood, our parents would notice

🗝️🏷️ programming/torture and deprogramming details, sex and sexuality, RAMCOA in general

We’ve heard of a few similar experiences, and I’m fairly certain all of the ones I’m thinking of were from RAMCOA systems. I’m going to respond to each of the numbers as best I can, and we’ll see how that goes.

1) That sounds like dissociative paralysis (assuming y’all don’t have a physical condition causing it), which I’ve seen in both system members who thought that body part was absent or who had to hold the body in a certain position.

The main thing is that whoever is paralyzed doesn’t know they can move the body part that isn’t working. I have read about system members coming to this conclusion on their own, but even then it was usually because they were conditioned into it while forming.

Programs that can have this effect on legs include: doll/puppet, animal (especially snakes or those whose limbs don’t work like humans’), statue, and any punishments that were targeting that body part.

2) It could be switching, passive influence (especially if the one doing it is less elaborated) or someone whose job it is to turn on that paralysis (it can look like a button, a switch, a lever, a book, anything). The best way to find out (if you can’t observe them do the thing) is by asking.

We’ve seen some of your posts about conflict between alters, and, from experience, people who don’t trust you don’t tend to answer. Building rapport has to come first, otherwise you risk punishment and retaliation.

Reassuring them that there won’t be consequences (only if it’s true) and writing it out somewhere the others won’t stumble upon it can help, because there’s less chance of someone hurting them and it might get around don’t-talk rhetoric if they’ve been taught it.

3) The non-humanness of the alter doesn’t necessarily imply they’re programmed, but smelling like a perp (or anyone, really) is something I’ve never heard for by-chance alters. The believing they’re made for sex can be tended to the same regardless of origin, and looking to programmed survivors might help kick-start the healing process purely because it’s a common belief for programmed alters.

We usually start the same for anyone who has strict self-concepts like this, which is by giving them choices wherever possible. Simple things, yes-no questions like if they want ketchup with fries (and giving them space to choose outside the yes-no as long as it isn’t causing harm), then open-ended questions like what their favorite fruit is, then slightly more abstract ones like what their favorite color is.

You& can skip the orange paragraph, it has to do with sex and sexuality.

If that doesn’t work, we move to treating it as a sexual problem. Sometimes we have to get their attention by putting on (ideally non-harmful, or fictional is the next step) porn or using the kind of touch they’re used to (but let them do it or keep it to your most trusted systemmates, then move to your& most trusted outside people) and then packing in as much information as they can hold while you’re around them.

A harm reduction approach helps to make progress without immediately demanding perfection. Decide what the end goal is for this person and set incremental targets. Celebrate every target met, even if it’s not how you envisioned it happening.

4) If it is programmed, there are a lot of ways for perps to get this reaction without causing marks. Holding the position, for example, or limiting the amount of space that person had to move around could have them maintaining that behavior when they no longer need to. Hiding their legs or a larger impact could have them believing their legs aren’t usable without damaging the skin.

Our system consensus is that programming is the intention and the effect, and if the conditioning had both, it counts. You& don’t have to agree with that, and labels are always optional. You& can address the symptoms without naming the cause, or you can give it another name if ‘programming’ isn’t helpful.

The discomfort (or other bad feeling, if that’s too mildly connotated for you&) could be leaking over from those who do remember, or it could be that you’re recognizing something is strange about the situation. Human brains are very good at picking up on subtle details, and trusting that something is up because of those alarms is generally healthy.

Still do try to treat everyone with dignity and respect, including if they feel wrong, but have plans for going forward in both cases, whether the feeling is correct or not. Especially with trauma, it’s easy to decide someone isn’t worth helping, and that’s not conducive to healing whatever wounds are present here.

I’m glad you’re& noticing members in pain, even if you& can’t or aren’t ready to help them yet. Creating bonds and strengthening them will keep your system on a different path from whatever your& perps intended, and spite is a hell of a motivator. I believe in your& ability to heal, pitfalls and lapses included.

#ramcoa #cdd system #adaptive system #ec did #hc did #pg did #tw ramcoa #ramcoa programming

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knightprincess · 1 year

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Forgive Me (Echo x Fem! Medic Reader) Part 1

Synopsis: The Republic’s decision to hire natural born medics + A certain rookie joining the 501st Legion = Another love(ish) story in a galaxy far far away ...

Warning: None (Although not proof read) Words: 1.1K Era: Clone Wars/Bad Batch Note: I will make a masterlist for this when I upload part 2

The Rishi Station was always lacking in the entertainment department. The dull mental walls were nothing out of the ordinary, nor was the landscape outside the station anything to write home about. Being forbidden to go outside never really helped, the dangerous and normally hungry Rishi Eels always on the hunt for something to eat. So the rookie troopers and Sergeant O'Niner normally had to find things to entertain themselves. Some of them counted the time being the ships coming and going, others told stories of their cadet days. For the Domino Squad things were no different. O'Niner would walk the corridors and inspect barracks at a moments notice, where as Droidbait often walked the landing pad, if only to escape the prison the base had become.

Fives and Hevy could often be found listening to the something via the Holonet, whilst entering into an arm wrestling tournament. Echo on the other hand took the quiet days to read reg manuals or anything else he could get his hands on. While Cutup could often be found randomly cleaning weapons, doing inventory or messing about with the Gonk Droids keeping them company at the base. The few times the Rookie squad had attempted to pull a few pranks, O'Niner had caught on and shut the ideas down quickly, stating their role on the base was important, even if it was often quiet and well boring.

"The sooner we leave this place the better" once again muttered Hevy, his feet up on one of the many control panels. As always nothing was going on outside, neither of them had seen a ship in hours. He soon began to think of all the ruthless training each had been put through as cadets, the obstacles they had to overcome in order to graduate. Each of them had been prepared for the cruel battlefield, the endless threat of danger and the weight that would be put on their shoulders. Rishi Station was anything but the battlefield expected. The only danger were the eels outside and the threat of being bored to tears and possible death.

"Think of something else. Like a night out at 79's if we ever get to Coruscant" commented Cutup, hearing the familiar gonk sound coming from behind him. The droid once again following him, as if a lost pet looking for its owner. "We've all heard stories of the place. The loud music, dancing, drinking, everyone having a good time" added the rookie, stopping the moment he opened his eyes and remembered they were currently stationed at the one place fun didn't seem to exist. Fives soon looked over to Echo, then to Hevy, clearly something passing through his thoughts, although he didn't voice them.

"I heard the republic were hiring natural born's to help the medics" voiced Droidbait, as he returned from another stroll across the landing pad. Like always nothing interesting going on out there, no ships to speak of. Just the normal sight of Kamino in the distance and a few stars twinkling above. The only movement being the eels looking for something to chow down on. Droidbait soon removed his helmet, taking notice of his brothers attention turning to him quickly. His words clearly being news to them, or at least of interest. But then again hearing the familiar gonk could be interesting at times too.

"Can they send one here?" exclaimed Hevy, boredom ringing in his voice, as he won another round of arm wrestling against Fives. The only thing they wagered was whom had to check the screen when the time came. If they bet anything at all. "Made whomever they send could lighten things up around here" added the bored clone. In his mind anything was better than being there. The quietness was driving him insane, even the cadet training was far more interesting to remember than being at the station was.

"Or be bored to tears as quick as we were" announced Fives, although the idea of a medic being stationed with them was something that brought a bit of mischief to him and likely Hevy. Being on the station wasn't something he'd wish on his fellow clone brothers, let alone anyone else. "Who'd wanna be stuck here of all places, nothing ever happens, unless you count Cutup being stalked by the Gonk Droids" added the prankster, his smirk returning moments later upon remembering some of the rule breaking days on Kamino.

"That's not true. We've got the voices in the empty corridors late at night" stated Echo, chuckling when the others stopped what they'd been doing and turned their attention to him. Even Droidbait looked confused, where as Cutup shook his head in disbelief or acceptance. Fives eyed him carefully, as if trying to determine if his words were a joke or not.

"You sure it wasn't O'Niner talking in his sleep again?" asked Droidbait, debating whether to take Echo's words seriously, all while waiting to see what Fives reaction was. It wasn't any secret Fives and Echo were the two most likely to pull pranks. Even if Echo did stick to the rules, well most of the time.

"That's loud snoring doofus" responded Cutup, although he wouldn't say it out loud. He could have sworn he'd heard voices down the vacant halls before. At first he thought it was one of the Gonk droids but soon thought otherwise upon determining the voices were more like a whisper than a single mechanically repeated word.

"Did the voices say they are dying of boredom?" sarcastically asked Hevy, quickly taking his feet on the panel upon noticing O'Niner enter the area. Each of them saluted their sergeant. The commanding officer likely delivering the reports on his daily inspection of weapons and barracks, as well as the mandatory armor maintenance. O'Niner didn't say anything as he inspected each of them, not even when he noticed the dust on Droidbait's helmet and armor. Instead he simply nodded and left the area again, a hint of a smile on his lips when catching the Gonk droids edging closer to Cutup again.

"No, they just mentioned how in love with you they are" retorted Fives, picking the conversation up where they left it. Simply adding his own playful comment to it, before looking to the screen close by, once again checking the terrain for any sign of movement or anything that would bring life to the station, besides the normal supply ship.

"Very funny Fives" commented Hevy, slapping the younger clone on the back of the shoulder, in an equally playful way. A shadow of a smirk appearing on his lips, as his focus returned to Echo, whom was once again lost. Although not in the reg manuals he'd been reading lately, but rather his own thoughts. Although it was anyone's guess what had gripped his rookie mind this time, maybe it was his future aspirations of becoming an Arc Trooper, or new ideas of causing havoc on the otherwise dull moon, likely with Fives's assistance. There was the off chance something else entirely had gripped Echo, perhaps even Droidbait's words of the republic hiring natural born medics had caught his attention.

Forgive Me Masterlist

#echo x medic reader #arc trooper fives #arc trooper echo #clone trooper droidbait #clone trooper cutup #clone trooper hevy #forgive me (echo x medic reader)#fem! medic reader #medic reader #reader insert #reader interactive #star wars reader insert #star wars fanfiction #star wars #The Clone Wars #clone wars era

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myriadof-fandoms · 2 years

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harringrove week - day 2 - our place

prompt: pumpkin pie (and hot apple cider a little)

or: patrick and billy friendship fic bc yes

ao3

@ihni ages ago i mentioned this in some tags and you said you wanted to know when it's done. finally, it is done

Steve has kind of gotten used to people randomly showing up at his place. There's a bunch of teenagers around who know his parents are rarely home. They have a tendency to just use his pool without asking.

So do Eddie and Robin.

Billy just crawls through his window all the time.

The thing is, nobody ever really knocks.

So a knock at the front door at 8pm on a Wednesday night is kind of weird.

Steve only hears it by chance, while the noises of the upstairs shower are muted enough, up until a second ago the ventilation of the stove had drowned out every other noise.

There's an itch in his hands to grab the nail bat when he walks down the hall, a fear so internalized that not even the irrationality of imagining a demogorgon knocking can quite stop it.

When he opens the door, holding his breath against better judgement, he's greeted with the sight of a guy his age. No demogorgon ready to attack as far as the eye can see.

"Eh, hi?" Steve realizes he knows the kid. Can't quite remember his name though.

"Hi," the boy's voice is shaking. Just a little, just enough for observant ears. "Sorry, Billy said-"

He breaks off and rakes a trembling hand over his head. The movement makes the light above the front door catch on his cheek, illuminating the blood.

"Christ, what happened to your face?" Steve doesn't wait for an answer, stepping to the side to let the other in. "Billy's upstairs. He'll be down in a moment if you want to talk to him."

He's hesitant when he steps over the doorstep but the moment he does, fully letting Steve see his face, two things occur to Steve. First, the guy's name is Patrick. He's part of the basketball team but only properly joined once Steve wasn't anymore. Secondly, someone very clearly beat this kid to a pulp. One side of his face is swollen and bloody. When he walks he winces, and he's curling to one side, arm protectively wrapped around his torso. A broken rib maybe? Or maybe the arm itself is hurt?

There are no wounds on his hands that Steve can see.

"C'mon, we'll wait in the kitchen." Steve knows his voice has gone soft. He's moving slowly too, passing Patrick by where he's kicking off his shoes carefully. Steve makes sure he stays in front of him. Follows all the little steps that he has memorized for when Billy has that haunted look on his face.

He fills up a glass of water and gestures for Patrick to sit before putting it in front of him. Steve notices the wince when Patrick sits down and has to suppress a flinch in response.

"I'll go get Billy and some stuff to fix up your face, be right back."

Patrick just nods. Staring straight ahead onto the table.

Steve rushes up the stairs once he's out of sight. He only slows down when he reaches the bathroom, to not startle Billy into a panic attack.

The shower is still running, but it's not surprising. Billy will take any chance to prolong a shower that he knows he won’t get screamed at for. Steve makes a point of opening the door noisily before stepping in and quietly saying Billy's name.

"Mh what, Harrington? You already wanna go again? Thought we were having dinner first," Billy's laughing. Steve wants to stay in this moment, he doesn't want to break up Billy's good mood, not when it's such a rare occurrence. He just wants to hide him away.

Billy's pulling back the shower curtain before Steve can. His smile falls immediately when he sees Steve's face.

"What's wrong?"

"Ehm, Patrick is downstairs? He wants to see you."

"Fuck."

Billy's out of the shower and putting on clothes in seconds. Pulling on Steve's heartstrings when he hastily puts on Steve's slightly too long sweatpants and one of his old Hawkins High Swimteam hoodies. He's out the door before Steve has grabbed the first aid kit.

Steve follows him down slowly, giving him more time alone with Patrick. When he makes it to the bottom of the stairs he can hear their murmured voices, quiet and hushed despite the empty house.

When he enters the kitchen he's once again hit with the realization of how pretty Billy is. The fact tends to hit him a couple times a day. Times like these are special though, when Billy looks domestic, with his wet curls falling in his face and his hands in sweater paws, while his feet are bare. There’s something about being allowed to see him like this that makes Steve lose his breath.

"Here you go," he puts down the kit on the table and looks at Billy questioningly, "I can leave you guys alone if you want."

"Up to you,” Billy says to Patrick. “Harrington's better than me at the whole stitching up thing, and he won't talk about any of this, but I'll fix you up too, whatever you want."

Patrick looks lost. If Steve's had to guess, from what Billy's told him about his own way of thinking, he's probably afraid to say the wrong thing. Steve tries his best to look reassuring.

"Eh," now that Steve remembers him better, it's startling how quiet Patrick is right now. He's barely audible, "You can stay. Don't want Hargrove to fuck up my face."

"Yeah, screw you too," Billy laughs.

“Good decision. I’ve seen how he fixed Max’ knee once, it wasn’t pretty.”

Patrick laughs a little too at that but almost immediately his face contorts in pain and he’s hissing through his teeth. It decides Steve’s course of action at least.

He gets some painkillers first and then carefully cleans the cuts on Patrick’s face with a towel, he tries to mind his hands and avoids getting too close for too long as to not make the other uncomfortable.

When he grabs the disinfectant, he kicks Billy’s chair, “Hey hotshot, tell us a story or something.”

Billy looks at him like he’s lost his mind before he sees the bottle in Steve’s hand. They’ve been in this situation often enough thanks to Neil fucking Hargrove and Billy himself deals better with the pain from the disinfectant if Steve talks while he applies it.

Distraction is key.

Billy launches into a dissection of their last basketball training, perfectly mundane and still investing enough that Patrick doesn’t flinch as much as he probably should from the sting. Steve only listens vaguely to what Billy’s actually saying, too focused on the task in front of him, but the way Billy’s voice moves is soothing to him as well.

He knows at some point Billy switches the topic to his current favorite thing to discuss: how awful the newest Friday the 13th movie was. He’s got a very passionate agenda against the film. Patrick only hums in response sometimes, he’s being a perfect patient, never moving much under Steve’s touch.

Steve carefully applies some small bandaids over the cuts that need it but thankfully there aren’t too many of those.

“All done here, do you need any other wounds looked after?” Steve can’t forget the way Patrick walked earlier.

“Nah, just fell badly, everything else is fine.” His eyes are cast down now.

Not that Steve would have believed that but Billy’s very quick to throw in and confirm, “Bullshit. What did he use as an excuse this time?”

Patrick’s eyes move around quickly, drawing shapes over the tabletop and floor but never moving up to meet their eyes.

“Bad grade,” he mumbles after a moment.

“Jesus Christ,” Steve runs his hands through his hair and moves towards the kitchen island quickly. He should be used to it by now, the casual cruelty that some parents use on their kids, Neil Hargrove could be their prime example, but Steve can’t. He still can’t help the way his own fingers start to itch and shake when he sees someone as cast down as Patrick is right now. He’s learned it’s an easy thing to interpret as anger though, the hard way when Billy had opened up to him for only the second or third time and then hastily apologized and flinched away from Steve when he saw his barely contained rage. Because in its roots it is just that: rage. Just not directed at Billy or Patrick, but at the people who could cause that without remorse.

Behind him he hears Billy sooth Patrick with the same sort of phrases Steve has used on him countless times.

‘ It’s not your fault ’s and ‘ It’s okay ’s take over as background noise when Steve puts the simple soup he’d made for Billy and himself earlier in bowls and cuts up some bread.

Patrick looks surprised when Steve puts down a bowl in front of him but once he’s been reassured that it’s no problem he finishes it in record time. It brings up the uncomfortable thought in Steve that that too is awfully similar behavior to Billy’s when Neil has been keeping food from him.

So Patrick gets second helpings.

And two pieces of pumpkin pie, which he does finish at the same speed as his first serving to Steve’s delight. Billy had refused to eat any more of it and Steve makes sure to complain to Patrick about that too.

“We’ve had fucking pumpkin every day this week, Stevie.” Billy’s rolling his eyes too gently though, and with the way he’s curled up on his chair, both legs pulled up from the floor, he couldn’t look very annoyed even if he was actually trying.

“It’s fall! It’s almost Halloween! We have to.”

“It’s September, Halloween is next month,” Billy says before he turns back to their guest. “Be careful, if you don’t watch it he’ll put you in a costume.”

“Being excited for Halloween isn’t a crime, Billy.”

“Sure, princess.” Billy snorts and leans towards Patrick, “If he could he’d buy every single pumpkin flavored thing in all of Hawkins.”

It’s not incorrect. Steve has a thing for it now, he tries not to blame the fact that Halloween is their anniversary but he knows deep down that that’s the only reason he’s started to obsess.

When he thinks of their first kiss he happens to think of the apple cider someone had brought to Tina’s party and the pumpkin pie that he’d eaten from her fridge in a panic after he stumbled back out from the bathroom in which Billy Hargrove had just sucked his dick.

It makes him nostalgic.

Steve gets so lost in the memory of those first few weeks that he misses a bit of their conversation but he startles out of it when Patrick coughs and says, “I should go.”

“You can stay here if you want. We’ve got a guest bedroom,” Steve answers without even thinking about it. There’s no way in hell he’s kicking the kid out.

Once again Patrick’s eyes don’t meet theirs.

“C’mon, I’ll drive us to school tomorrow morning. You won’t miss anything,” Billy says. “Also pretty boy’s loaded and the beds in this house are extremely comfortable, you can’t miss out on that.”

One quick flash of dark brown eyes meet Steve’s when Patrick mutters, “If you’re sure?”

“‘course, I’ll show you where you can stay,” Billy answers instead of Steve and then he’s already leading him away.

Steve cleans up after them before he follows. When he gets upstairs the lights are on in his room and the guest bedroom but both doors are closed already.

He quickly brushes his teeth and changes before making his way towards his bedroom. Billy is already in bed, hugging his pillow with the sheets pooled around his waist exposing his chest to the cold air.

Steve turns off the main light so only the bedside lamp that he never turns off anymore illuminates the room and draws shadows over Billy’s skin.

When he slides back the covers from his side Billy turns and they rearrange themselves so they’re pressed together tightly. There’s no real routine to that part, they sleep curled up together in every which way they can find.

Steve can feel it when Billy pushes his face against his skin and inhales deeply before properly settling down in his arms.

It’s a whisper almost when Billy speaks up, “Sorry, I just told him he could come here. I should’ve told you.”

“That’s okay.”

“He knows about us.”

“I figured, he didn’t seem surprised that we share a room.”

“You okay with that?”

“You think he’s gonna tell?”

Billy moves his head a little so he can look at Steve’s face before gently moving his hand to his cheek. He starts running his thumb over his cheekbone and Steve hums in satisfaction.

“He’s got a crush on Jason Carver. I don’t think so.”

Steve actually cringes at that, “God, not that douchebag.”

“I know. Gotta work on his taste still.”

“One thing at a time.”

Billy breathes out and leans up to kiss Steve slowly, “Yeah. Thank you.”

“Nothing to thank me for, sunshine.” Billy smiles against Steve’s lips like he always does when Steve calls him that.

Steve lets a moment pass, thinks about the evening and just enjoys the proximity to Billy before he breaks the comfortable silence, “Wanna know something funny?”

“Mh?” Billy hums, not moving much but putting enough emphasis in the little noise to make sure Steve knows he’s really listening.

“I fucking hate pumpkin pie.”

Billy honest to god giggles and Steve feels so fulfilled.

"You're the worst. Do you know how much pumpkin spice I've bought for you?"

“I like the soup!” Steve laughs against Billy’s cheek, “But the pie is just not good.”

“I hate you.” Billy’s still giggling.

“I love you too.” Steve never wants him to stop.

“God, you sap,” he playfully punches Steve’s shoulder before his arm sneaks around Steve’s neck, the other settling on his waist and then he moves so Steve is almost entirely covering him. Their faces are mushed together a little, and it will get too hot to sleep like this, but for the moment it works.

Billy sighs, “Fine. I love you.”

He’s told Steve a lot. After some initial difficulty to say it at all it has slowly become something Billy likes to say. Steve still can’t get enough.

“I can hear you thinking, Stevie,” Billy starts running his hand through Steve’s hair. “Go to sleep.”

Steve is pretty gone for Billy Hargrove. He does as he’s told.

#stranger things #billy hargrove #steve harrington #harringrove #harringrove fic #harringroveweek #harringrove harvest #mimi's writing #mimi makes things #patrick mckinney #I'm so fucking tired my guys #i also just found out i have to give a presentation in two weeks that's gonna be my grade for my fav module #someone create the 48h day please and thank you #two weeks. FUCK ME

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