man i have to say being an iskall fan this season of hermitcraft is almost overwhelming i look away from hermitcraft for two days and he has like FIVE VIDEOS. and most of those are vodskall but frankly vodskall is some of his best stuff! but the thing is that this is an INSANE problem to be having as an iskall fan. like imagine telling me from a year ago "hey you are going to be having trouble watching iskall not because of LACK of accessible content, but because you're going to have SO MUCH OF IT". i wouldn't have believed you. i would have accused you of taunting me. and yet here we are. what a world we live in man,
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i was hoping to make a post like this under happier circumstances, but here goes.
as some of you know, everything with the cancellation and renewal campaign has happened right on top of the worst part of my mom's cancer treatment (plus the show was cancelled on my actual birthday 💀). i won't go into details, but it's been tough. lots of ups and downs, mostly downs, luckily ending (for now) on as much of an up as circumstances allow. the whole thing has been weirdly tied to the cancellation for me, kind of amplifying every feeling. the grief got mixed up, and there was so much of it - mourning the loss of the kind of future i thought i'd have with my mother and the time we might not get, mourning the end of a show that means so much to me and is such a big part of my life. different types of grief, sure, and of different magnitudes, but in one big ugly swirl. i sort of had a breakdown right at the start of february, and it was because of news about my mom, but it morphed into my brain telling me everything i'd ever written was shit and wanting to delete it all. stuff like that, spilling over.
anyway. i was holding off on writing this post to see if the show got picked up by someone else. but i still want to say it. because what also spilled over was the support and community from this fandom, and being in this space (despite the rough times and high emotions) helped me through it, because of all of you here. whether we talk regularly, or you left a comforting reply or simply a like on one of my posts about having a hard time (i tried to keep them few), or wrote a nice comment on a fic, or said something funny or nice or insightful in the tags of a gifset, or was active here (or on twt) in any way, talking/sharing/creating stuff about the show - THANK YOU.
you all helped me through all the ups and downs, and i am so grateful. thank you for being here, listening, distracting, helping me feel some joy despite the horrors. i love you and i love this incredible show and all it has brought and will continue to bring and inspire, and although it should go without saying, i'm not going anywhere. just do me a favor and give yourself a big ol' hug from me, and know that you made a difference for some random guy on the internet (but in reality for many more, and for this fandom as a whole, just by being here and being you) 💕
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also quite obsessed with karl being as detached from the story as he is. there's nothing that makes him have to be the detective that has to be involved, but he unknowingly dooms himself by agreeing to work with the KYAL cult. every other detective basically deals with elias head on except weissman, who only meets him right before he kills him. like he's right when he says "by my choices" because everything that leads him to being mixed up with the mannix cult is himself. it's the gambling debts and the choice to do the dirty work for an organisation he knows nothing about. he's the only one that doesn't encounter that body doing police work and it's specifically because he's told to cover it up. he gets himself into the mess and eventually fixes it but the fact that esther always dies in the doomed timelines and he's always too late even if he starts wanting to change things ("till this child. esther.") it just makes me very ill
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i went to the most gorgeous café downtown today and had a latte and raspberry tiramisu dusted with cocoa powder. unfortunately, i am beginning to think about the bar and start planning my study schedule.. but first, coffee❣️☕
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yk something I find interesting is how Castiel became "Cas" to the other angels. we know he became Cas so quickly to the boys, but don't angels always call each other their full names? yet, Anna (and I think the ones at the playground) called him Cas
idk it's interesting to me. like, was this them acknowledging that Cas lost his need to serve Heaven and him gaining a sense of humanity?
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i genuinely genuinely feel like such an uncreative and uninspired artist. i feel like im not really capable of creating anything. or at least not anything new or interesting. i worry all i make is a regurgitation of other things ive seen other people do better. i keep chasing some kind of Spark thats always missing and makes me always frustrated even if you could point out good drawings that ive made. i want to make something that's truly me i want to make something out of my ideas i want to make something meaningful. i want my art to be able to reasonate with others like others' art were able to reasonate with me. im always making piece after piece hoping to get somewhere but im always left unsatisfied. i dont really know what is it i want or what i should do
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["And] in my opinion they are making a real connection and it’s a connection in such an impossible circumstance because of what they are - two enemies looking at each other across the battlefield knowing that they could really never possibly be together, but they wonder if they could, and so I think they have a powerful thing with each other.”
- "she's been a flame in his heart for a long time." Alexis Denisof talking about the relationship between Wesley and Lilah.
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gasp! another character ref sheet! this time for my character Lanturn Lustre, a student wizard just trying to get by! his mean of getting by may or may not include seducing rich men into giving him expensive gifts and money and he may or may not have gotten a bit too use to living lavishly,,,
✧ reblogs are appreciated ✧ | ♡ buy me a kofi ♡ | ☾ commission info ☽ | ☁︎ click for better quality ☁︎
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