#and I haven't in a while but

[tearlessrain]

please help me- i used to be pretty smart but i’m having so much trouble grasping the concept of diegetic vs non-diegetic bdsm!

gfkjldghfd okay first of all I'm sorry for the confusion, if you're not finding anything on the phrase it's because I made it up and absolutely nobody but me ever uses it, but I haven't found a better way to express what I'm trying to say so I keep using it. but now you've given me an excuse to ramble on about some shit that is only relevant to me and my deeply inefficient way of talking and by god I'm going to take it.

SO. the way diegetic and non-diegetic are normally used is to talk about music and sound design in movies/tv shows. in case you aren't familiar with that concept, here's a rundown:

diegetic sound is sound that happens within the world of the movie/show and can be acknowledged by the characters, like a song playing on the stereo during a driving scene, or sung on stage in Phantom of the Opera. it's also most other sounds that happen in a movie, like the sounds of traffic in a city scene, or a thunderclap, or a marching band passing by. or one of the three stock horse sounds they use in every movie with a horse in it even though horses don't really vocalize much in real life, but that's beside the point, the horse is supposed to be actually making that noise within the movie's world and the characters can hear it whinnying.

non-diegetic sound is any sound that doesn't exist in the world of the movie/show and can't be perceived by the characters. this includes things like laugh tracks and most soundtrack music. when Duel of Fates plays in Star Wars during the lightsaber fight for dramatic effect, that's non-diegetic. it exists to the audience, but the characters don't know their fight is being backed by sick ass music and, sadly, can't hear it.

the lines can get blurry between the two, you've probably seen the film trope where the clearly non-diegetic music in the title sequence fades out to the same music, now diegetic and playing from the character's car stereo. and then there are things like Phantom of the Opera as mentioned above, where the soundtrack is also part of the plot, but Phantom of the Opera does also have segments of non-diegetic music: the Phantom probably does not have an entire orchestra and some guy with an electric guitar hiding down in his sewer just waiting for someone to break into song, but both of those show up in the songs they sing down there.

now, on to how I apply this to bdsm in fiction.

if I'm referring to diegetic bdsm what I mean is that the bdsm is acknowledged for what it is in-world. the characters themselves are roleplaying whatever scenarios their scenes involve and are operating with knowledge of real life rules/safety practices. if there's cnc depicted, it will be apparent at some point, usually right away, that both characters actually are fully consenting and it's all just a planned scene, and you'll often see on-screen negotiation and aftercare, and elements of the story may involve the kink community wherever the characters are. Love and Leashes is a great example of this, 50 Shades and Bonding are terrible examples of this, but they all feature characters that know they're doing bdsm and are intentional about it.

if I'm talking about non-diegetic bdsm, I'm referring to a story that portrays certain kinks without the direct acknowledgement that the characters are doing bdsm. this would be something like Captive Prince, or Phantom of the Opera again, or the vast majority of bodice ripper type stories where an innocent woman is kidnapped by a pirate king or something and totally doesn't want to be ravished but then it turns out he's so cool and sexy and good at ravishing that she decides she's into it and becomes his pirate consort or whatever it is that happens at the end of those books. the characters don't know they're playing out a cnc or D/s fantasy, and in-universe it's often straight up noncon or dubcon rather than cnc at all. the thing about entirely non-diegetic bdsm is that it's almost always Problematic™ in some way if you're not willing to meet the story where it's at, but as long as you're not judging it by the standards of diegetic bdsm, it's just providing the reader the same thing that a partner in a scene would: the illusion of whatever risk or taboo floats your boat, sometimes to extremes that can't be replicated in real life due to safety, practicality, physics, the law, vampires not being real, etc. it's consensual by default because it's already pretend; the characters are vehicles for the story and not actually people who can be hurt, and the reader chose to pick up the book and is aware that nothing in it is real, so it's all good.

this difference is where people tend to get hung up in the discourse, from what I've observed. which is why I started using this phrasing, because I think it's very crucial to be able to differentiate which one you're talking about if you try to have a conversation with someone about the portrayal of bdsm in media. it would also, frankly, be useful for tagging, because sometimes when you're in the mood for non-diegetic bodice ripper shit you'd call the police over in real life, it can get really annoying to read paragraphs of negotiation and check-ins that break the illusion of the scene and so on, and the opposite can be jarring too.

it's very possible to blur these together the same way Phantom of the Opera blurs its diegetic and non-diegetic music as well. this leaves you even more open to being misunderstood by people reading in bad faith, but it can also be really fun to play with. @not-poignant writes fantastic fanfic, novels, and original serials on ao3 that pull this off really well, if you're okay with some dark shit in your fiction I would highly recommend their work. some of it does get really fucking dark in places though, just like. be advised. read the tags and all that.

but yeah, spontaneous writer plug aside, that's what I mean.

#I found their original stuff while I was researching various waterhorses and their folklore for no reason #because one of the characters in their original work happens to be an each uisge #and then it turned out it ALSO included a lot of figures from welsh folklore in general #so yknow if you happen to have my incredibly specific hyperfixations you'll love it but even if you don't it's great #I didn't mean to bring up phantom of the opera so much it just happens to be very relevant to a lot of my talking points #I haven't actually seen it in years

[hansoeii]

Astarion 🌠

#I have fallen and I can't get up #If you're wondering why I haven't posted new art in a while it's because I currently have 115 hours in Baldur's Gate 3 #well.. #Astarion my beloved #you can feast on me tonight if you like #Astarion #Astarion fanart #Baldur's Gate 3 #baldurs gate 3 #Baldurs gate 3 fanart #Bg3 #Bg3 fanart #digital art #my art #fanart

[bixels]

I watched Starship Troopers tonight.

#personal #dumb #my art #immediately after finishing i was pumped to watch some analysis vids on it #cuz i heard a lot of the drama about the original author being a pro military fascist and the director going “fuck that” and making a satir #scrolling through youtube search results was not promising. lots of male film buffs i would Not trust even on a first glance. #“The Critical Drinker” (pfp of a bearded man drinking alcohol) lol. #and then I saw cinemawins did a video on it and was like oh nice i haven't seen his stuff in a while but he's a pretty leftist creator #scrolled through the comments #second panel face #this sucks i'm outta here. #just leagues and leagues and leagues of anime pfps and right leaning people dogpiling on him for “not understanding what fascism is” #idk it's pretty alien and weird to me watching this movie and going “wow yeah that was pretty obvious huh” like literally the from opening #to the teacher preaching militance and only giving voting rights to “those who serve their nation first and earn it” #and then seeing droves of people online going #WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? It's not anti-fascist and even if it was it's #the director's fault for desecrating heinlein's incredible sci-fi epic vision. ermm media literacy is dead.

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[tues-dayy]

Pencils Down has already become one of my favorite Game Changer episodes and it hasn't even been out for 24 hours

#caldwell tanner #kiana mai #nathan yaffe #dropout #game changer #fanart #art #it was just a fun time #i also just really love all three of them and their work #so it's just a match made in heaven #i haven't done pixel art in a while and i really missed it

[abrabloodycadabra]

Mamoru Miyano slayed as Dio in the new jjba phantom blood the musical pictures, I'm in love, so here's a quick sketch

#whatta man you are #mamoru miyano #wow i haven't posted in a while #jjba #jjba phantom blood #phantom blood #dio brando #jojo no kimyou na bouken #jojo's bizarre adventure #jojo's bizarre adventure phantom blood #jjba art #jjba fanart #jjba fandom #digital art #art #jjba the musical

[cloudpalettes]

#alien stage #alnst #alnst mizi #alnst sua #mizisua #ERM HEEYY HEYYYY #ngl i've been into alnst for a while now but i haven't drawn them Until Now #DOOMED YURIIIIIII !!!!!!!!!! #pov you haunt the narrative #EVERYONE IS DOOMED HERE

[fernsnailz]

doodles i made while watching the latest @snapscube murder of sonic stream WAHOO!!!!

#such a good stream i haven't laughed that hard in a while #everyone go watch the vods!! u will not regret it #fern's sketchbook #tmosth #sth #sonic the hedgehog #...i don't remember if there's a specific snapcube art tag to use it's been a while

[abisalli]

putting the bi in Robin

#tim drake #red robin #dc comics #bernard dowd #stephanie brown #kon el #batman #my art #digital art #haven't drawn Tim in a while and wanted to draw him with his long hair again :) #and then I made some silly little drawings as well

[onebizarrekai]

she is silly

#hermitcraft #life series #trafficblr #pearlescentmoon #dangthatsalongname #mcyt #double life #galaxyduo #hermitcraft season 10 #art closet #haven't touched lineless in a while. I was trying an old soft style

[linterteatime]

Average Dirtmouth reunion

#hollow knight #troupe master grimm #hk #hornet #ghost #the knight #zote the mighty #elderbug #sly #bretta #the hollow knight #fanart #my art #I haven't drawn any funnies in a while #which is a tragedy #so I will try to remember to make more funnies for y'all 🫡

[hansoeii]

loki

#painted this to unwind #and because I miss loki a whole lot #just wanted to draw his pretty face again #I also haven't painted a portrait in quite a while #I struggled a lot with this but surprisngly I don't hate the result #i call that a win #loki #loki fanart #loki laufeyson #loki series #loki season 2 #tom hiddleston #my art #my loki art #digital art #fanart

[hiding-under-the-willow]

anyways. What

#atlas.art #artists on tumblr #mcyt #hermitcraft #hc s10 #docm77 #joehills #joe hills #juppet #vintagebeef #doc beef and joe just slowly fucking loosing it throughout this interaction is one of my favorite things that's ever happened on hermitcraf #also. watching his fucking gigantic hour glass slowly grow in the background of other peoples videos for the last week #why did he do that to himself so early in the season omg 😭 #it literally is so ridiculously large it is insane. it looks insane next to everything else around it. it takes up the entire skyline #im thinking about keralis. who built his lake facing the shopping district so he could avoid looking at iskall's monolith while fishing #or mumbo and grian joking about making the biggest mega build in the shopping district for their wart shop. good luck with that now lmao #seriously if you haven't already y'all should go watch Wels' last video if only to see that thing grow in the background throughout the vid #wels built an entire castle on accident in that video and i still spent the entire duration going 'DOC WHAT THE HELL' it was so distracting

[manofbeskar]

sometimes the sun is a kind boy with a straw hat

#roger and rayleigh aren't here bc while i ship them i don't know anything about them #i haven't gotten to them in the anime #so sorry i guess but i can't add them in good faith if i don't know anything #my art #mishanks #zolu #akataka #luzo #dracule mihawk #shanks #akagami no shanks #red haired shanks #young mishanks #taka no me mihawk #hawkeyes mihawk #monkey d luffy #roronoa zoro #zoro x luffy #luffy x zoro #one piece

[be-queer-do-arson]

We NEED to talk more about Neil's escape from Columbia because I don't think anyone's fully appreciating just how unhinged it really was. Neil really hiked six miles along the freeway in the South Carolina summer heat, face bruised from being knocked out cold dressed like a homeless person carrying a big ass duffle bag and started strolling up to truck drivers like, "Hello there! I'm just a regular sociology student interviewing long haul truck drivers to learn about their culture! Would you allow me to interview you while you drive to your next stop?" And then he did in fact interview a truck driver AND take full notes like he was really doing a presentation on it. That is FERAL

#neil canonically has the best Totally Normal Guy persona but i don't think there's any amount of blank smiling #that could convince someone that was a normal situation no matter how good his lying was #you KNOW that truck driver thought he was escaping human trafficking or some shit lmao #aftg #neil josten #all for the game #the foxhole court #sorry i haven't posted in a while i started going to a different university full time and it was a big adjustment lol

[inkskinned]

i had been used for my body before, i didn't mind it. i had a good trick about it - i didn't have to be there, not in my skin. i could wear the mirror, wear the puppet. you would see your perfect girl, a little monster i had concocted. she would glisten, distilled out of my own blood and venom. it meant i would be using you instead - you think you are taking from me? darling, i think this is a fucking joke, a role i am playing. you can't hurt me, i'm not present for the event. this is just a body, like a book is only words.

and then you came into my life, easy and honest. reaching for my hand in the crowded holiday market. passing me a water before i realize i'm thirsty. checking on me once, twice - the first time i said i'm okay, you knew i was lying. i keep thinking about the shape of your blue eyes and the wild of your hair the last time i saw you. how you got out of my car and when you looked back, i was looking back too. your quiet breathing in a hotel room.

you kissed me like you meant it, is the thing.

i don't know how to be a person yet, not fully. i don't know how to let you kiss me and touch bone. i tell my friends i hate this so much i want to throw up. your name slips into my head - i am no longer really ever alone. a little frazzled heartrate keeps splattering against my collarbone. my therapist asked yesterday - why are you afraid? what is the cost of vulnerability?

a terrifying thought: when i'm with you, it feels like finally coming home.

#spilled ink #warm up #writeblr #i got distracted while writing this so i don't like it lol #btw the coming home thing is a good feeling i just resent it bc i have spent the last 18 months #being like #lOVE ISNT REAL >:( #to the point that i haven't been writing love poems on here #and NOW?????????? WHAT HAVE U DONE TO ME??????????????????????????