#and I just perpetuated the cycle with my little brother

[scary-senpai]

To be honest, sometimes scenes with Child Emperor make me feel like a bit of an under-achiever. But at least I can say I was much, much more cynical at 10.

…actually, wait. That’s not an accomplishment.

#one punch man #opm #opm spoilers #spoilers #child emperor #shit posting #and I just perpetuated the cycle with my little brother #who just read everything I read #like animal farm! #I was 13 which isn’t a terrible age to read animal farm #but he was 10 and he borrowed my book when I had finished #and he came down to dinner and laid his head on the table #and declared he had lost his faith in humanity #and my parents (bless them) were like #…..are you sad because the pig died at the end? #NO MOTHER I AM NOT

[crystal-crax]

A RANT

A TRAUMATIZED FATHER

aka: a splinter defense

I've been rewatching a bunch of different tmnt versions and a thought popped in my mind. Is splinter an analogy for depressed/traumatized parents?

Most interpretations of him make me feel that way, at least. Specially the 2003, bayverse, 2012, rise and mutant mayhem splinters- mostly because those are the versions i grew up with and are more familiar with, lol.

The way his own point of view, experiences impacts the turtles and affects their personalities and goals so...i don't know how to express it, but it leaves a bad taste in my mouth when i see people treating him as some kind of villain¿

In almost every version of Splinter, there's a catalyst for his choice to raise the turtles as ninjas and a deep fear to allow them to explore the real world. Something happens to him that makes him either disconnect emotionally (bayverse/rise), place insane responsabilities and expectations on them (2012 i'm looking straight at you), or makes him be overly protective of his sons (mayhem, 2003).

I might be speaking out of turn, but most versions of the hamato/Splinterson family feel as if a part of their dynamic is that of a partially dysfunctional one, mostly due to splint's traumas.

2003 and Bayverse saw the one that took care of him be killed without mercy, vowing to take care of the young turtles that were affected by the actions of those who altered his world.

Rise and 2012 are direct victims, being stripped away from humanity without a choice, taken from everything they knew, betrayed, so they keep clinging to the only thing that still gives them a small blink of hope and happiness, four little turtles that have been mutated just as he was (one even directly sharing his dna with the turtles).

Even mutant mayhem! Sure he wasn't directly in some accident- But even he shows high levels of anxiety and fear towards the world, prohibiting his children to interact directly with it and teaching them that humans can't be trusted at all. He has been attacked and persecuted, but what makes him break is watching his own sons (the only family and precious possesion he holds, said by himself) get hurt and rejected by humans as he once was (mikey almost got ran over my a bus y'all). He deeply CONNECTS with his sons and clearly projects his own fears and issues on them, straining the way the boys perceive themselves and their own relationships within the family.

Experts agree that trauma affects the father's/mother's parenting style, which leads the children to adopt unhealthy coping mechanisms and attitudes. The effects of intergenerational trauma can impact many parts of your life, from how you see yourself to how you communicate with others.

“Trauma can inform nearly everything about the way we exist and engage with our worlds, including the ways we parent and model behaviors for children,”

Saba Harouni Lurie, LMFT and founder of Take Root Therapy in California

Am i saying splint is abusive? NO, but i'm definately explaining that almost every version of him replicates the pressure and weight he feels, which in turn makes the own brothers perpetuate said cycle of misunderstanding and emotional confusion/neglect

Sometimes, children learn unhealthy patterns indirectly through interacting with or observing family members. For example, if your parents experienced trauma they may tend to avoid distress and conflict altogether. They may relate to each other in passive or passive-aggressive ways. They may have trouble asserting their needs constructively or directly problem-solving.

Raph's anger issues, leo's anxiety, don's temper and loneliness (which sometimes seems to trasnlate on finding comfort with his computers/machines) and mikey's high emotions and empathy.

The boys love each other, they're family, but almost in every version they seem to battle their own feelings of inadequacy. They fight, hide their thoughts and emotions, have sudden bursts of anger or panic and fail to understand how to properly express themselves (heck, the rise turtles even go so far as directly stating they've barely ever been hugged)

Yes, every splinter has failed and could've done better, but they did what they believed was better for their sons. Their only wish was to keep them safe, hide them from harm and be able to live peacefully as a family; if training their sons to be ninjas was the best thing they could think of, honestly, who am i to judge?

My conclusion? Take the family for a road trip to the nearest therapist

#tmnt 2018 #tmnt donnie #tmnt rant #rise of the tmnt #tmnt #tmnt 2012 #tmnt 2003 #teenage mutant ninja turtles 2012 #2012 leo #rottmnt splinter #master splinter #rise splinter #tmnt bayverse #bayverse raphael #bayverse turtles #hamato yoshi #lou jitsu

[haaawaiianshirt]

my issue with "stans" and people who like Billy or any other Stranger Things Guy is not that they like him, sympathize with him, headcanon him, whatever, (I know nothing I say can talk you out of liking them but it's fine, to each their own) it's the rampant hypocrisy yall like to spout I am SO sick of it

I appreciate that y'all want to take a nuanced look at the source material, but you can't cherry-pick what parts of the narrative you want to acknowledge !!

y'all want to talk about classism and ableism within the show, which i admire! those are super interesting themes in Stranger Things!! but you all REFUSE to acknowledge or interpret the themes surrounding racism, misogyny, and cycles of abuse and it discredits any argument yall wanna make about your special little guys.

I can acknowledge that Billy is a survivor of his father's abuse, I can see that he is a complex and interesting character and I don't care that you guys like him for this! but what y'all conveniently like to omit is that he chose to perpetuate the abuse he faced onto Max. he could have forged a relationship with her like his literal narrative foil, Johnathan, did with Will in the face of their abusive father, but he didn't and that was His Choice.

or the common argument about Nancy and ableism for example! (and before yall come for my ass, yes, i am autistic.)

when Nancy is rude to Robin one (1) time, it's not because she's an overwhelmed teenager who just lost another friend and has had to face so much doubt in her ideas thanks to the men in her life and is just now trying to forge friendships again, it's because she's a master manipulator ableist obviously.

So, if y'all care about Nancy getting annoyed with Robin, where are the posts shunning Steve for being mean to Robin? calling Robin hyper? for telling Nancy that Robin has "problems"? for letting Robin run off into the Upside Down alone? is that not more ableist than Nancy getting annoyed with Robin for talking a lot in a high-stress situation?

Do you see the issue?

how are y'all willing to excuse Billy for attacking actual children but aren't willing to provide that same grace towards Nancy when she protects those same children with her life?

you ask us to see the truth behind the actions of Billy and Steve yet condemn Nancy for every mistake in the same breath? what exactly is the line between a traumatized teenager and a monster in your mind?

you claim that Nancy is evil and classist towards Johnathan but ignore the sexism (which is literally. the main conflict. of their relationship. they don't understand each other), neglect, and parentification she faced. you wax poetic that Billy is so misunderstood but ignore the way he routinely tormented Max and attacked Lucas for dating Max, which both the Duffer Brothers and Caleb himself said is meant to be racially motivated.

y'all make up so many reasons to forgive and excuse the men of the narrative for their behavior but do not allow female characters the same grace and it is so. annoying. y'all want to be this cool nuanced fan safe space but you just pull the same shit as a dudebro movie buff echo chamber and I'm soooo done with it.

#billy hargrove #steve harrington #they are just some guy #fandom discourse #idk babys first im just so fed up #got told to See The Evidence In The Narrative about Nancy's Hatred For Disabled People from a BILLY STAN and that was the last straw

[grand-theft-carbohydrates]

replying to @caozihuanismyson

"If that was love, Cao Pi didn’t need it. Didn’t want it. It was better to be indispensable than cherished. He needed to become something that could not be left behind. Something that Father could not live without." my jaw just fucking dropped #i love this. im in love. holy shit#HE NEEDED TO BECOME SOMETHING THAT COULD NOT BE LEFT BEHIND SOMETHING THAT FATHER COULD NOT LIVE WITHOUT#(im screaming louder so people in the back can hear)#(jk there's no one in the back cuz it's san guo on tumblr.com but still)#💀#thank u op i have ascended#also all the little details of ang trying to make up for father's absence for his lil bros..... when pi wiped his tears my heart broke#that part where cao pi imagined ang's last moments? holy shit i've never thought of it that way it's genius and horrifying#(ok i need a moment)#also............... i'm going insane about the part with fish and jade#and cao pi describing cao cao's expression of love towards cao ang as painful#and wanting to put him in his mouth like how soldiers keep their precious things safe#i thought this was going to be about ang's tragedy .... but it turned out to be about that and the horror of pi's existence#thank u for the meal op i'm so grateful

thank you so much, this is such a nice comment to wake up to!!!! it makes me so happy to have such dedicated readers who catch every single detail ;u;

Cao Ang has been my blorbo for a long time because he is a fascinating contradiction. he achieved nothing and did nothing of note, but seems to have left a significant impression on those around him. Cao Cao expresses regret for him on his deathbed. Cao Pi talks about how he should have been the rightful heir. Lady Ding was willing to disobey the most powerful man in the empire in order to get the smallest measure of justice for him. His death always struck me as, well, a feel-good narrative told by a guilty conscience. Cao Cao could have ordered any one of his bodyguards to give up his horse, but he didn't. It makes sense in the coldest, most logical way. Why lose an able-bodied fighter for a brat? You can always make more. I came up with a bunch of scenarios of what "really" happened, but in the end i realised it doesn't matter. Cao Cao still left his son to die. the horror comes from the ambiguity itself. I also wanted to explore how his actions would impact the remainder of his children. They realised overnight that they were all disposable and no one was safe. the real tragedy doesn't come from Cao Ang's death, but his father undoing all his hard work. Ang tried his best to give them love, curb their worst impulses, and foster good relationships between them, only for his father to stick them in the Sibling Royale. Climb to the top and uproot all your competition. ect. ect.

But I am an optimistic person and I believe true love can pierce the veil and save the day and all that. Cao Ang's ghost continues to haunt the narrative and in the end, he manages to effect his brothers in some way. Cao Pi comes to realise that, hey, this kinda sucks, actually. i think we're emotionally stunted and perpetuating the cycle of violence. maybe i don't have to trample all my brothers to preserve my own life. maybe i shouldn't become exactly like father. hmm much to think about. Cultural Context, for those interested:

funerary practices are not historical, but based on the modern shangdong ones i've experienced.

"putting your child in your mouth" is an expression of helpless tenderness. the full phrase is "i want to you hold in my hands, but i'm afraid of dropping you. i want to hold you in my mouth, but i'm afraid you will melt." i wanted to show this conflict within cao cao, the warlord vs the man. how his ambition corrupts him. ultimately, cao cao does not put his son in his mouth to protect him. he consumes him instead.

the opening scene is based on Cao Pi's poem "Traveling on the city wall." His poems are notable for being very emo, he talks about feeling isolated and unfulfilled despite having every worldly possession. I decided to connect it with Cao Zhi's (ahistorical) bean poem. the metaphor is less profound, but what can you do? he is the lesser poet after all ;))) .

#my writing #cao beans #san guo #replies

[raayllum]

The Cycle Speculation

So I was thinking about this post in regards to the cycle restarting and how TDP loves to parallel structures with escalation of stakes amid differing scenarios with similar dilemmas, and it got me thinking about how the Cycle has been perpetuated over the centuries / course of the show thus far, and the commonalities between the objects/spells used, and well... 

Let’s strap on our thinking caps and wheel out a conspiracy board, which is to say: tracking spells, generational parallels, the symbolism of the Heart in TDP, and how I think the Cycle will be perpetuated in S5 / S6 - and possibly how part of it began, re: Aaravos and the Key. AKA my torment is over and I think I may have, honest to God, figured out what the Cube is and how it could be used thematically and plot wise going forward.

Tracking spell 

So tracking spells are surprisingly important in TDP. They don’t seem to be at first glance, as often times the main trio are just wandering along until they find the right spot, or are embedded more generally into their world’s geography than anywhere extremely specific (most of S1, parts of S2, etc). However, tracking spells are crucial in both Claudia and Soren’s tracking spell to find the trio at the end of S1, bleeding into early S2. 

We see the tracking spell repeated when Viren is searching for the magma titan, down to needing a piece of the victim (the Magma Titan, Rayla’s braid) down to the glowing jar, before finding the exact Titan the piece was from. 

This journey, of course, sets off the death of the three queens, most notably Queen Sarai, whose death causes Harrow and Viren to perpetuate the cycle further in killing Thunder. But even more than that, The same jar used in this spell also coincidentally houses Sarai’s last breath until it’s used to fell Thunder.

This of course also made me think of the Key of Aaravos, which according to Callum’s Spellbook and featuring screencaps from the show, is routinely being pulled somewhere, leaving the same lines in the sand every time. Upon reaching Xadia, the marks got longer, although it is not clear exactly what direction they are in. We do know that the rolling of the cube always ends with the Star rune being faced most directly. 

Which is to say: the previous things we’ve seen pulled rather unknowingly have all been parts or pieces of a previous tracking spell, and beyond that, ordinarily symbols of love. Rayla’s braid symbolized Ethari’s love and affection for her; the piece of the Magma Titan allows for its home to be invaded and for it to be murdered; Sir Sparklepuff is able to lead his strange new little family to Rex Igneous through an innate sense of knowing from Aaravos, and is clearly a part of Aaravos as well. Which goes to support that whatever the cube is, it is, or holds, a piece of whatever it is being pulled to, most likely Aaravos himself (after all, it is his Key and unlocks something in Xadia). But more on that later.

For now, let’s look at the generational parallels. 

Viren, Harrow, Sarai / Callum, Ezran, Rayla

At first glance, it is very easy to slot the kids just into a single generational role, which is to say: Viren-Callum as high mages and brothers to the king; Harrow and Ezran as the actual brother kings; Rayla and Sarai as a compassionate moral through line. However, I don’t think it’s quite that simple for a number of reasons. 

I’ve touched on it before, but all three kids are very much Harrow split down the middle and then some, each embodying and amplifying certain aspects:

Rayla carrying on Harrow’s martyr complex and hope for redemption / wanting to make a difference; by and large, personality wise she is the most similar. More in depth parallels here if you are interested, as well as the theme of what’s worth dying for

Ezran of course has Harrow’s responsibilities as king, but where being king was ultimate an experience of chains and a lack of freedom, Ezran is a child king and finds genuine liberation in his work. He is also the direct manifestation of Justice, paralleling Harrow’s assertion that “Above all else, I must be a Just king” 

Callum wrestles most directly with the theme of Freedom in relation to Harrow, specifically the freedom to make choices and give up the temptation with Dark Magic. More discussion regarding this here. Callum also gets Harrow’s emphasis on fairness (in relation to justice, but also as its own thing thematically, re: fair opportunity within the system outside the accident of birth)

Additionally, Rayla has plenty parallels with Viren as well, with Ezran perhaps best embodying Sarai’s appeal for personhood: “Does it think? Does it feel? Does it have a family?” Furthermore, Callum also has parallels to Sarai; he really is his mother’s son.

But like, what’s the Point of all this? If there’s so many and Viren, Sarai, and Harrow all had specific places in perpetuating the Cycle largely in spite of their best efforts (Viren hoped by killing Zym that “all of this will finally, truly be over”) than how does this impact the current trio, thematically? 

Going into S4 and in terms of behaviour / choices, Callum undoubtedly has the most in common with Viren and Harrow, specifically Viren with his loved ones (“I have always been ready to do anything to protect my family, however dangerous, however vile”) and being generally fine with the concept of dying to protect them, not necessarily out of any sense of rightness the way Harrow did. Callum’s S4 arc also mirrors Harrow’s arc in 3x06; trying to move on and focus on peace, while being undeniably angry and furious over the loss of someone he loves. So he’d be Viren-Harrow in about that order.

Rayla has likewise become more like Viren (willing to leave those needing help behind in 2x06 / 4x05), although her parallels to Harrow from the previous seasons are so strong I think they overrule. Additionally, her hair style is an exact match to Sarai’s old hair (the braid-bun combo, the three piece over her cheeks, etc) as well as her place in Callum’s life as a cautious moral through line. Moreover, her and Sarai’s pictures alone are hung up closely together. While we haven’t see this set of parallels come to fruition yet, I think we may in S5. So I’d place her tentatively in Harrow-Sarai. 

Last but not least, we have Ezran, who I think is thematically embodying Sarai-Harrow with blessedly none of Viren, trying to carve a better path forward even if he feels in over his head, even if it will be exceedingly difficult, and even if it will take “decades of hard work”. He knows that there’s no monster he can slay to solve all his problems and unlike Rayla, he is not going to try. 

So loosely, we either have Viren-Callum, Harrow-Rayla, Sarai-Ezran, or Viren-Callum, Sarai-Rayla, and Harrow-Ezran. Just as Arc 1 was about correcting and making up for their parents’ mistakes, it seems that Arc 2 is well underway to be about trying to make up for their own mistakes (Ezran ignoring anger, Callum trying to ignore his, Rayla leaving and more). Which is to say: all of this has happened before and all shall happen again. 

Haunts The Very Heart of Xadia

Hearts are kind of important in TDP. There’s the repeated motif, used most commonly but not exclusively by Rayla, of a hand or first to the heart, also employed by Callum, Ezran, Viren, Terry, and many others. Most often this is in the context of a loved one or reaffirming pain / a decision to make. 

However, it goes deeper than that. (Illusion) Viren and Avizandum are both stabbed directly in the heart (“That was her spear, my mom’s, and my stepdad put it into his heart”) which is particularly apt given it was revenge for killing “the love of King Harrow’s life, Queen Sarai.” This moment is also directly harkened back to in the majority of the S4 openings, although Callum’s, which could have been very different, also features his own more Star magic-y stone spell beginning in his heart.

There is also Ezran’s big speech from 4x03 that invokes the heart specifically as a call to action and compassion, stating: 

 It’s not that easy or simple. Because people are still hurting and they are still angry. We can’t ignore that, or pretend it will go away. Somehow, we have to hold it all in our hearts at the same time. We have to acknowledge the weight of the pain and loss, but open up our eyes and allow ourselves to hope and maybe forgive and love again. We have to give today’s children a chance to inherit a future filled with peace. To give them that, we have to hold pain and love in our hearts at the same time.

Which, one of S4′s big theme in particular is set up and discussion of when to, and when is it possible, to reconcile dualities, but more on that later. 

The character most closely tied to this theme of Heart, in many ways, though is Rayla, from the very first episode.

My Heart for Xadia!

Your heart isn’t hard enough to do whatever it takes.

[To Ezran] You have a good heart. It’s super annoying. 

Before you left, I told Runaan you were too good hearted for the work of an assassin.

You have true courage, and a big heart.

My only allegiance is to my heart and those that know it. (Tales of Xadia bio)

I remember how I felt when my parents left me to join the Dragonguard, like PART OF MY HEART WAS MISSING and I would never feel right again. (Dear Callum letter) 

Please don’t let this hurt too much. But, if it does—if you feel that soft aching—know that that piece of your heart isn’t missing. It’s not missing at all, Callum: I’m carrying it with me! Always. (Dear Callum letter) 

One of the most critical things S4 did was establish Rayla’s importance in the future outcome of Callum being possessed by Aaravos. Both that she will likely be what helps him ultimately break out of it, but moreover that she will do so at great possible cost. This comes back to “You let him live but you killed us all” and the possible consequences of sparing Callum at any cost, in a classic Duty VS Love conflict. Additionally, it also pushes Rayla precisely into the position and role she was supposed to fill after a season of belief that “We can’t save everyone” and being taunted by Aaravos, specifically, that she was incapable of killing. So it’s going to hit doubly if it becomes one of her cornerstone conflicts next season.

But wait, as I always say, there’s more. 

Rayla identifying her parents and herself as a missing piece of her and Callum’s hearts, respectively, as opposed to the implied entire heart exchange between Runaan and Ethari (“My heart goes out with this one”) struck me as interesting, particularly when it’s the only time we’ve seen that separate signifier is in Rayla’s letter itself. So I was thinking about Rayla, and Rayla-Aaravos parallels per usual, and how the Cube glows a pure white in the 4x04 intro, just like the falling star when it makes the proper side Star sigil in the “Mystery of Aaravos” typography, as well as a remark from TDP’s head writer Devon that the Key may not be exactly what we think/thought it is, and...

I think the Key may hold Aaravos’ missing chest piece—a literal missing piece of his heart. 

This is for a few different reasons. The first is that we know Aaravos had his chest piece in the 1x01 intro, and at one point he lost it. The intro appears to happen during the exiling of the humans, but it’s hard to tell whether that’s actually accurate given the singularity of the framing. If not for it, I’d say he put it in the Key to give to the human founder of Elarion as an act / presentation of love, that predates the fall of Elarion and subsequent expulsion (although we’ll return to her/them in a minute). 

Although it would be tempting to say definitively that he lost it at the Fall of Elarion, Aaravos still walked Xadia for centuries, and the intro we see him in seemingly belongs to this, and he did not leave with the other Startouch elves. Zubeia frames it as though he was a Star until his treachery was uncovered and not that he Fell prior but was accepted past that point regardless. We also know that Aaravos isn’t at his full strength inside the mirror, even though the Star arcanum is all about time and space, and it’s hard to tell how his powers have been restricted otherwise. With all that in mind, it’s far more likely Aaravos was at his full power until Zubeia and the other archdragons /accomplices surprised him, ripped his heart out, and then tossed him into the mirror. Therefore, it means that it isn’t the mirror or its dimension necessarily keeping him restricted, but the fact the piece of his arcanum - his quasar diamond - was taken from him in the first place and its resulting physical / magical effects. 

This makes sense for a few reasons.

A villain who is literally heartless is very juicy symbolically

Light has also been associated with bad things across the series, not solely good things (the specific Sunfire staff test of the Light to decide your fate for example)

Not only is Aaravos currently terrifying, but reclaiming his heart piece in some capacity would either 1) put him at full power, 2) allow him to get himself out of the mirror past that point on his own, or 3) both

Aaravos’ prison itself is surely powerful, but Aaravos himself is ultimately even more powerful and at this point, the most powerful character in the show:

As well as having multiple layers of thematic precedent. There is Aanya’s ring, also featured in this episode, given to Harrow and then passed onto Aanya after her mothers’ deaths, kept inside a sealed six-petalled flower, just as Harrow passes the six sided cube down to Harrow. 

Then, there is also the fact we know, thanks to interviews, that a lot of Aaravos’ actions are motivated by a relationship/bond he had eons ago, presumably with a human and more specifically, the human founder of Elarion. If he loved this human deeply (particularly romantically, due to his short birthday story featuring being given an apple by a human, which is a very loaded symbol and almost always used for romance) and losing her/them is part of what motivated him to begin his thousand year long manipulation play, his heart would undoubtedly be a very important symbol. We’ve seen numerous characters to questionable or vile things for their loved ones or in the name of revenge (Viren with his family; Harrow using dark magic to avenge Sarai). Aaravos doing all of this out of a long broken heart would be very thematically in line, a heart that now only feels pain rather than love. 

We also know, pretty blatantly, that Egyptian mythology has been an influence on the series (Ibis’ name and association with Callum; the centre of an ankh being a mirror and a diamond, just like the quasar diamonds). One of the traditions in Egyptian mythology was holding up a dead soul’s heart and weighing it against Ma’at’s Feather of Truth. If it was heavier than the feather, you were wicked and condemned. This makes the Orphan Queen holding it (whether it would eventually contain or already did contain) fall in line, as we get this voice over from Zubeia regarding the moment Aaravos’ treachery came to light and the truth was discovered:

This would mean then that the Key is both a key of Aaravos’ jail and a piece of Aaravos - a double meaning, a double key, related to its prisoner and its owner. It would fall perfectly in line with everything we’ve learned about the Key up to this point as well as its symbolism and foreshadowing while building on it with some twists and even higher stakes than we already had.

There would also be a few layers of delicious irony.

First, we’ve seen that dark magic has limits that it cannot overcome on its own, but presumably can with Aaravos’ help. Thereby, more than being offered unlimited power solely from dark magic in Callum’s 2x08 dream, he’s being offered unlimited power because of the Key as well. There’s also Callum holding what would contain a quasar diamond in the first place while literally asking if there is no gem for Star magic, not knowing that he has one in the very palm of his had (“Having knowledge isn’t the same as knowing knowledge” after all). 

Last but not least, there is the fact that concept art of Aaravos, shared when he was identified all the way back in S1, has his chest piece being far more akin to a literal diamond than even the upside down Star arcanum it holds now.

Then, another factor I would be remiss not to mention because 1) I’m me and 2) it could be a very cool connection is that if the Key is indeed Aaravos’ missing piece, it makes this shot of Rayla when she re-enters Callum’s life in 4x02 all the more meaningful and make all the more sense in its framing.

While the framing is pretty blatant, given that Rayla is literally haloed in light seconds after Callum was saying, “In darkness, gaze upon a Fallen Star.” It clearly indicates that she is tied to this plot line of ‘darkness’ (which 4x07 confirms with “I need you to kill me [...] what if I’m on a path of darkness?” “Then take another path dummy”) even before it truly ‘begins’ in an inciting incident sense. So far so good, very straight forward. But even when seeing this for the very first time I wondered, why the fuck is the cube there? Because it absolutely doesn’t need to be. There were plenty of other scenes (like the one immediately preceding it for example) or times where Stella making the Star primal glow could’ve be shown. Especially since in the above shot many people are bound to be distracted by Rayla’s return and new appearance and not even paying attention to the cube held by her little monkey. 

But, if the cube is the missing piece of Aaravos’ heart, and Rayla, as we’ve already said, is canonically / has identified herself as the missing piece of Callum’s heart, well, placing them together to foreshadow this specific importance of the cube makes a lot more sense. It’s a still a bit of a stretch right now because it requires reading Rayla’s letter, which is decidedly additional supplementary material, but the supplementary material is routinely used to foreshadow things exactly like this (Rex eating a jelly tart for example) so it also wouldn’t be out of line. Then as always I have my theory of Rayla’s life being exchanged for the cube, which if this heart parallel is true, would just make more sense and tie a tighter parallel than the whole thing already does.

Last but not least, there is the way this brings the Magma Titan plot line back full force thematically, and I actually think this is one of the most interesting parts, if not the most interesting part, of the whole theory.

It’s been previously accepted, generally, that in spite of the personal pain and moral ambiguity in hunting the Magma Titan, its murder was a necessary evil and its personhood debatable at best (cue Harrow and Sarai’s opposing views to begin with). I always figured that the biggest way this plot line would be used thematically, beyond a good example of the Cycle and Sarai’s death, is when Viren effectively turns his own soldiers into Magma Titans in 3x07 Hearts of Cinder. He strips them and they strip themselves of their own personhood and humanity while they prepare to do the same on an untold scale in Xadia. 

However, if Aaravos’ heart was forcefully ripped out against his will, it would ask the exact question I’ve always posited when trying to get people to consider the messy ethical ramifications of the Magma Titan: how sentient does something or someone have to be before this would be considered organ harvesting? Would you view the spell the same if it had the Magma Titan had been some undeniably more human, like an elf, or even an elven child? Yes, I’m sure we’ll see precisely why Aaravos truly had to be imprisoned, but I think almost anyone would feel some unease about a violation on that level, if not sympathy. (And then of course the added layers of irony of Avizandum attacking the humans and killing the queens for ripping out the heart of the Magma Titan when he did the very same to Aaravos three centuries prior, if it was indeed lost pre-immediate imprisonment / Viren being compared to Avizandum in the intro and beyond is a pin the show has to return to eventually. 

A heart (Thunder’s) for a heart (Harrow’s in Sarai) for a heart (the Magma Titan). A heart (Aaravos’ for ‘Elarion’) for a heart (the cube) for a heart (Callum’s in Rayla). 

We also can’t ignore the emphasis placed on childhood and games with the cube. Love is often treated or thought of as a game outside of the series (blasting “the winner takes it all” and “blank space” among many others, but mostly “love’s not a game” from Crazy Ex Girlfriend), but the concept of children’s hearts are an important part of the show’s construction of how to break the Cycle. The Book One novelization lays this out very plainly with (although I’m too lazy to grab my copy and am paraphrasing) “Children see with their hearts, not just their eyes.” 

Aaravos’ childhood and possible loss of childhood innocence/idealism is definitely something we are going to explore given baby Aaravos’ prominent placement on the Mystery of Aaravos’ star chart map. Aaravos playing a game was largely absent as a motif in the first arc save for whenever Rayla would speak about the cube in seasons 1-2, with S4 cementing the motif more firmly with Aaravos himself directly. Aaravos losing his heart in that sense and any hope he had left to be something Different than what he currently is would be truly heartbreaking, and showing that you can always undo what’s been done. You may be able to take elves out of coins and a dragon egg back home to its mother, but some things are too ruined beyond repair; a heart will never fit the same ever again, literally. 

The Cycle

So what does this mean, going forward?

Well, as other people have pointed out, Harrow doing dark magic to avenge Sarai is the core thing that started the current Cycle the characters had to directly overcome, with Sarai’s death both a ghost and an inspiration and likewise, Callum doing dark magic to protect Rayla is what is allowing Aaravos to control / manipulate him into playing into his hands, and we know Aaravos will ultimately be successful / Callum has to fail in some capacity, otherwise Aaravos would never get out. 

Therefore if we look at it even further back to see what started the Cycle, we return to that continual violation of having your heart ripped / being heartbroken, literally or figuratively. The Magma Titan’s heart being ripped out began this portion of the cycle, so Aaravos’ heart being literally ripped out began the much earlier portion, figuratively perhaps began his spinning of the wheel a millennia plus earlier, and it being restored will begin the next.

How’s that for Consistency?

Alternatives 

As always, I try to do my best not to present a theory without any alternatives, if I can think of them at the time. The other main option, it seems, would be the Key not being used / having its secrets discovered in S5, which would greatly expand its possibilities. 

This seems unlikely though, given the emphasis on Ocean and Earth when it comes to unlocking the key’s secrets whenever it is mentioned, as well as the fact that Aaravos’ prison is in the Sea of the Cast Out (and possibly literally underwater to begin with). This makes the scope of what the Key could unlock far more limited because it has less seasons to maneuver. 

Then there is always the possibility it unlocks the Star Nexus or something along those lines, but unless it was given to Aaravos by other Startouch elves (before he began to hate him? Or when they didn’t know he did?) its connection to him is less unclear, but not impossible. This could be something that is revealed in S5 and we don’t see the key actually used until S6, particularly if it’s Book Six: Star, but it makes me wonder why give the Key such a heavy and consistent ominous foreshadowing (again, usually with Rayla as the mouth piece), the negative associations thus far given to the game motif, and why not call it the Key of the Stars, as TDP as no problem creating things like the Corona of the Heavens when they want something to be associated with Star Magic and not our favourite evil starry elf boy. 

With all this in mind, thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed this meta. As for the key and the theory itself, what do you think? Am I on to something, do you have your own thoughts and alternatives I haven’t considered here? Do you just want Aaravos to be Big Sad and S5 Big Dramatic? Let me know! I would love to hear them. If you are interested in more posts related to this theory, I will link my specific tag for it here in case of perusal. 

And last but not least, Dragons out, peace!

#tdp #the dragon prince #tdp aaravos #multi #s1 #s2 #s3 #s4 #arc 1 #arc 2 #tragic trio #brotp: we're in this together #key to his heart theory #the cycle #theme: freedom #heart motif #analysis series #analysis #parallels #aaravos #the key of aaravos #predictions #s5 speculation #s5 #i spent too long on this and also cried but it's fine #got myself too emo over the possibilities y'know?

[needle-noggins]

Ah yes, the Fifth Moon Prequel, aka Lost July, in Vol. 5. I cried for a solid ten minutes reading this scene and I'm probably going to cry again while writing this post, but who cares, I have a duty to perform as the unofficial book club analyst of Vash's assault trauma. Also, ouch for Knives to say how much he hates Rem before assaulting Vash. Insult to injury. ANYWAY:

First off, I really like how I could understand this scene just based on my understanding of Knives' power/the twins' link in Stampede - Knives is able to pull Vash into this weird mindscape, or Vash is just remembering, but either way - it's cool how you can tell what's in the past based on the plain black background. And Knives' stupid little beverage... I hope he chokes on it.

Uh, hey guys? Hey, boys? What are your seeds that contain this power, why are you asking Vash to resonate with you, why does it feel hot, and why does it end in an amazing feeling of release?

Where's the rape/non-con tag when you need it?

This needs no explanation.

Sorry I thought the baby angel arm was cute.

The thing about July that is so different from Fifth Moon, though, is that while Vash was experimented on first (oh yeah, more loss of body autonomy: forced medical procedures/experimentation!) and his angel arm was triggered by Knives, he had more control over the endgame situation this time - barely. Knives makes the mistake of taking Vash's face and pushing him to the ground face-up, and Vash uses that opportunity to point the angel arm at Knives. He's so angry and afraid that he shoots. Not going to go into detail as there's another amazing post floating around about Vash shooting Knives but oof, does that backfire on our poor boy. Meanwhile, in Juenora Rock, Knives purposefully goes behind Vash to get better control and stay out of the firing range. Both instances involve some unwanted changes to Vash's body and loss of control, both instances involve the two in, uh, compromising positions.

Knives is more than capable of destroying towns himself, but that wouldn't be as fun for him, I guess, as desperately trying to show his brother that he's a monster who should be hated by humans. His logic is so Fucked Up and that's that on overwhelming fear and perpetuating cycles of trauma.

#trigunbookclub #hey i didn't cry! probs because making these posts scares me #cw sa mention #cw assault #cw rape #sorry folks ive done it again #also aside: people who ship plantcest: what the actual fuck is wrong with you. i'll just say it #yes the assault is there but why would you.... enjoy this #you can recognize a thing as true to an extent without. ya know. actively shipping it and enjoying it. #and that is something i wont apologize for saying

[totallynotsilversora]

I may be a bit tired but I think enough time has passed for me to say this:

Even though it felt unfulfilling and wasn't executed in the way that I hoped it would, I really enjoyed Tokyo Revengers' ending because it confirmed my suspicions from the start:

That the point of that final jump - and the point of this manga in general - was to end the cycle of violence brought about inadvertently by time leaping and that the only way to save everyone would have been to reset everything back to the start.

And no, Takemichi didn't START this cycle.

Takemichi is the one to END it.

MAJOR SPOILERS BELOW:

Shinichirou got his time leaping powers in the original timeline after he enacts violence on a stranger, who tells Shinichirou that he got the ability using the same method - violently killing another time leaper. Though we learn later on that it can be passed on with more peaceful methods, that doesn't mean Shinichirou should've murdered someone out of NOWHERE with no proof to whether their claim would be true, regardless of how pure his intentions were. He reacted based on violence and that same violence is what seeps into Mikey when Shinichirou leaps back in time the first round and continues to fester in every timeline that becomes generated into a "Dark Impulse".

How do we know that's where it came from? Well, remember how Tokyo Manji's symbol is the Manji swastika? There's a reason it's moving COUNTER-clockwise and not clockwise like the ones you see typically with Buddhism:

This swastika has ties to things like KARMA, the NIGHT, and KALI aka GODDESS OF DESTRUCTION.

It's no coincidence that Mikey forms Toman to be a gang based on protecting one another and enacting retribution, however looking back at how Shinichirou became a time leaper adds another layer to the symbol: Mikey's ENTIRE existence has been inextricably tied to his brother's karmic actions the moment he is successfully saved by Shinichirou. That means every little thing Shinichirou has done in both the past and present will inevitably affect Mikey in every time line no matter what.

And let's be honest. Shinichirou was definitely not a saint. Whatever unfinished karmic retribution was left after he got killed the same exact way he murders the former time leaper (down to the fricking CROWBAR), it fell onto Mikey.

Shinichirou, whether he knew it or not, left behind an awesome yet violent legacy for Mikey to inherit, and Mikey carries that legacy through Toman - a gang that was created specifically to get back at anyone who tried to threaten them or their loved ones.

Pure intentions or not, someone WILL pay in blood.

That's why every arc began to feel repetitive. Because the cycle of violence continues to repeat itself around everyone Mikey gets involved with specifically because of the karma he carries.

That's why, when Shinichirou passes his powers to Takemichi in hopes that he can protect the ones he cares about, that cycle begins to unravel the moment Takemichi becomes involved in Mikey's life - because Shinichirou saves Takemichi WITHOUT VIOLENCE.

This isn't just about moving on from your failures and trying to live a fulfilling life even with all your losses. It's literally about karma and how violence perpetuates a cycle that can affect EVERYONE you know around you in the most terrible ways. How fighting for what's right or to protect someone doesn't always have to involve throwing a punch (though in Tokyo Rev's case, it IS allowed and I'm glad they let that slide).

The reason this ends with a hard reset is because the only way to allow everyone to have a happy ending is to undo the negative karma that had plagued Mikey for so long. A curse that has been with him SINCE HE WAS SIX YEARS OLD.

I get it. I don't like the ending all too much either and everyone feels way too different to the people I had grown to know throughout this series.

But goddamnit this was EXACTLY what I was hoping for and you can't tell me it's an entire cop out.

PS: I also don't think Chifuyu is the only one who remembers what happened from the other timelines. If anything, NO ONE would be there at that wedding unless they all had an INKLING of what happened in the previous timelines. It doesn't have to be the full thing like Chifuyu, but I think everyone still vaguely remembers what happens and hence why lots of them wind up having different stories (Inupi no longer having a scar bc he probably remembers wtf happened and saves his family from the fire, for instance). That's just my personal theory, though! Whether any of you agree with me or not is no matter and I just wanted to share my thoughts with Negai no Astro coming around the corner!

#tokyo revengers #tokyo rev #hanagaki takemichi #mikey sano #manjiro sano #shinichiro sano #tokyo revengers spoilers #spoilers #listen i know the ending kinda sucks but cmon #its not THAT bad imo #and yes it COULD have been executed so much better im not that silly #but if i gotta hear everyone talk abt how bad the ending was one more time im gonna explode

[luxthestrange]

Incorrect quotes #656 Papa Luci & "Mommy" Mc

Mc: I just had a long talk with Mammon and Leviathan about hitting and now they are yelling “it’s my turn to perpetuate the cycle of violence” before hitting each other

Luci*Facepalms with a tired groan*I wonder if it's too late to be adopted...

*From outside his office they of tousle between the little brothers till something breaks and now your being called for boo boo's*

Older siblings do be asking that...I know cuz I ask myself that multiple times-Also think of it You & Luci got this Tamaki and Kouya (Mommy & Daddy) Dynamic

#obey me #obey me! #obey me! mc #obey me mc #obey me x mc #obey me x gn!mc #obey me x reader #obey me x gn!reader #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #big brother lucifer #little brother mammon #little brother leviathan #lucifer x reader #mammon x reader #leviathan x reader #obey me incorrect quotes #incorrect quotes

[themetalvirus]

augh i have so many egghogs thoughts but im having a Brain Blockage

amy ramble

something something amy something something injustice. egghog sonic is in the wrong for toying with her feelings, obvi, but i havent really discussed how AMY feels about it when SHE IS THE ONE BEING TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF. feminism loses. i feel like such an asshole. ik shes not real but still cmawn get it two gether

like. she extended her goodwill, a warm hand, over and over and over again, and she just keeps getting burned. she's pulled in and out of what she thinks is a will they won't they where she is actually being emotionally abused and thought of as a tool, being the end point of the cycle of abuse that sonic ends up perpetuating while his brothers end up breaking out of it. she deserves more agency as a character, i think. again i feel like kind of an asshole because of how little agency amy really has until, like, the end of the story

i also don't rlly talk about how often she's fucked up eggman's schemes (a lot) and made him start from scratch. and killed gods and such. but the focus of the main story is on the One Plan that actually temporarily explodes the whole universe out of desperation for one teenager's quest to affirm his delusion that his father really loves him. he's not the hero but he's the protagonist in a lot of ways and it feels like amy should be the focus despite egghog sonic's arc being more interesting i think. amy doesn't really have a lot to learn

actually that's wrong. she DOES have an arc. she DOES have a lot to learn. how the power of love can only be effective if one is willing to receive your love. to not self narrativize so much that you lose touch of the pain of the people around you. how excessive optimism can hurt you and the people you are trying to interact with. the theme of fantasy vs. reality is strong with this story in particular i think

like, it's not just sonic; she ignores tails' boundaries and makes some freshly-not-evil traumatized and violent teenagers live with him. the way she's trying to stay cheery just ends up salting the boys' wounds and she needs to figure out how to level with them. i like to imagine that she's used to solving big problems, killing monsters, using hammers to fix things, but this kind of delicate operation is new and uncomfortable for her. i think i take back what i said about her emotional intelligence; it really doesn't start off great. she has to learn about how to navigate both her and others' feelings in a healthy way. she feels very deeply, yes, but the way she handles those feelings needs Work. because of my low empathy high compassion sonic characters agenda i like her wanting to help So Bad but not understanding how the others truly feel thus making things worse before they get better

plus, like. FUCK dude. learning that your crush has been purposefully making you believe he may like you back because he sees your infatuation as nothing more than a tool to get what he wants. some guy you thought was your frenemy was really just an enemy. she put so much faith in him to be worth changing, to be capable of changing. you can't fix him, girl. you never could and you never will.

i guess she also needs to figure out how to better allocate her time and energy towards people who Want to be helped and Can be helped; the problem is that because she takes sonic's place as the Big Hero she already spends a lot of her time, like, saving villages and kissing babies and stuff. she very much helps people who need help. and making it so that the help is impersonal feels like a deep betrayal to her character, something unfair to put on someone as loving and passionate as amy rose, to make her so arrogant would be a failure to respect her. i guess i could lean into her getting Really Invested into helping individual people, but like, she already also solves a lot of the Big Problems except for not killing eggman because it Feels Wrong.

i guess having her be a sonic stand-in and Big Damn Hero™️ while also giving her interesting character flaws WITHOUT taking away her agency is hard. pardon me while i smash my face into a brick wall

#exoticbutterstxt

[jbaileyfansite]

Interview with Vanity Fair France (2023)

Jonathan Bailey: celebrity, LGBT rights and cycling, words from an actor “in search of transformation”

New darling of cinema, Jonathan Bailey, the actor who played Anthony in Bridgerton, is taking a step aside in fashion. For Vanity Fair, he talks about his relationship with celebrity and the importance of LGBT representation on screen. Confidences.

What should a person dream of, after having experienced dazzling success all over the planet? Jonathan Bailey was only waiting for one thing: to get on his bike and cycle through the south of France. A memory comes back and his eyes sparkle: “A year ago, I visited Aix, Manosque and Marseille. I was dazzled by the energy of the latter and the beauty of the street art. » So, as soon as he could, this cycling enthusiast took a getaway far from the fog of his native England for a fashion shoot on the Côte d'Azur. At 35, the actor says he is exploring “new facets of his personality”, by posing in front of a camera lens or acting in front of the camera.

In perpetual “quest for transformation”, he is now ready to delve into the “darkest corners” of the human soul, he explains. Far, far from the role of enamored viscount which propelled him to stardom. In 2020, Jonathan Bailey made a notable appearance in the Bridgerton show, on Netflix.

The series tells the adventures of two aristocratic families during the English Regency, between tails, top hats and romantic intrigues. In the first season, he was content to be the protective brother of the heroine, the fiery Viscount Anthony Bridgerton.

The second season propels him to the center of a sentimental intrigue. And Netflix broke a record, with 193 million hours of viewing in the first three days of broadcast. A line of dialogue went viral, cited thousands of times on social networks: “You are the bane of my existence and the object of all my desires. » The whole world fell under its spell. What followed were magazine covers, front rows of fashion shows, red carpets of posh evenings…

After that, the actor changed register and dared to tread the boards of the West End theater in London with a play with the evocative title, Cock. A return to his roots for someone who started, at the age of 6, with the Royal Shakespeare Company. “I feel feverish if I’m not on stage,” he explains. "Acting keeps me fit as an actor. » Another challenge: he will soon be starring in the highly anticipated Wicked, adaptation of the musical comedy dedicated to the witches of The Wizard of Oz, alongside Ariana Grande and Michelle Yeoh (Oscar winner for best actress in 2023). Could he be stalked by madness of grandeur? Never. “There is no guide to learning how to deal with fame,” he admits. "I just focused on my first passions, notably music, surrounded by my friends, my older sisters, my nephews. » A secret: he also got back into some gymnastic movements - which he admits are still "'slightly kooky'. By that I mean: eccentric and approximate."

Some habits deserted along the way. With fame, he lost his anonymity and a little of his tranquility. “I will never give up public transport,” he says. "On the other hand, I tend to “underdress” so as not to attract attention. » His relationship with clothing has thus changed. He is just beginning to master the subtle art of matching his jewelry (like here with Mazarin jewelry). “I’m exploring more of the jewelry world as I get older and more confident. » Until then, he only had one fear: accumulating coins to the point of “resembling the donkey Bourricot”, loaded with mismatched fake coins. No risk. On his wrist, he wears the Omega watch of which he is the ambassador. A big first for him: “I participated in the launch of the Summer Blue Seamaster range this year,” he explains with pride. "I felt the connection of the house with the people of the sea. The travelers, the adventurers. The surfing and paddle enthusiast in me was delighted.»

This digression into the fashion sphere allowed him to meet his favorite designers – Daniel Lee, Jonathan Anderson, Giorgio Armani. Because, in fashion as in cinema, he only aspires to work with “creative people”, he admits. A second of reflection, a burst of laughter. All things considered, he would see himself as a “sheep of a sherpa”. Literally, “sheep” of a creative master who would take him into his merciless universe.

His only condition? Uphold the values that are close to his heart. Starting with LGBTQIA+ representation on screen, which he missed so much during his childhood. He remembers, moved, his meeting with Matthew Rhys, who plays a leading character in the American soap opera Brothers and Sisters: Kevin Walker, a gay lawyer. “This actor was a game changer for me,” insists Jonathan Bailey. "I found a bit of my family in the characters of the series. In the middle, he played a guy who led a fulfilling life and had a wonderful partner.»

The British actor is delighted to see today the very popular “Elite, Heartstopper or even Gossip Girl” taking over, with diverse and varied narrative arcs aimed at young audiences. He himself made his contribution, since his career took off on Netflix as an openly homosexual actor playing an heterosexual character. “It’s as rare as seeing gay actors playing gay characters and being praised for that performance,” he emphasizes. We will soon find him in Fellow Travelers, a historical mini-series centered on a romance between two men in which he co-stars with Matt Bomer. Proof that an actor can absolutely play anything.

To the aspiring actors who follow him on the networks, he provides a lesson: “Representation is crucial, but being an artist also means being able to inhabit a character totally different from your own experience.» He is moved by having the luxury of choosing his projects, thinking back to the time when he went through auditions and accepted all the roles that came his way. When he talks about his job, Jonathan Bailey spins the love metaphor. “When I like a project, I feel a romantic spark. I let myself be carried away by something obvious. » Love at first sight guaranteed.

Source

#jonathan bailey #jonny bailey #interviews #interviews:2023 #vanity fair france interview #lgbtq+ #NEW!

[be-the-glenn-to-my-maggie]

1, 11 and 14 I love your unpopular opinions bangers truly

Thankkk you bestie I simply have opinions and I was never taught to shut up as a child.

Favorite moment?

This one is hard because there are so many great ones! For Avatar (2009), I love that scene where Jake and Neytiri are describing the way they were both flying to each other. It's just such a cute little moment to me, and as someone who only recently became hyperfixed on this series and saw both movies in a chill and non-invested way first, that scene was such a pleasant surprise on rewatch.

For Way of Water, I have a cute one and a not so cute one. I love that one shot of Tuk, Spider, Kiri, and Lo'ak crossing the Hallelujah Mountains to get to the forest before their kidnapping. I love how comfortable and playful they all are, just fucking around that high and on their way to a warzone sksksk. I just love the fuckery it implies they get up to on the regular, I want a feature length film of their shenanigans.

The not so fun scene is the stand off with Quaritch versus Neytiri on the sinking ship at the end. Ugh, it's just such a great idea on the writers part. It's so shocking but yet, so expected at the same time. Avatar is not known for it's storytelling, and I think that scene and those characters are just top notch for them. It puts your heart in your throat right away, and the kids pleading for each other never fails to get me. I love good complex writing and tbh it's not this series' strong suit, so this scene will always be my favorite.

11. An Unpopular opinion?

I'm already blocked by some creators in this fandom, so I try to stay spicy lol. I like to live rent free with you all. Hmm, I guess if you've been on my blog for a while this one might not be surprising but I do not believe that Quaritch (or any of the recoms) should be redeemed. Colonialism, racism, and genocide shouldn't be normalized that way. I just do not understand the fascination for redeeming villains who have done inexplicably evil actions without properly addressing them. For me the bar is fairly simple: Genocide, abuse, racism, rape, and just general war crimes are just like a nah. And people who say that a character has past trauma and that is why; well, duh bestie. That is an explanation, not an excuse. Many people who live with abuse and trauma actually don't become abusers and war criminals themselves; look at our main characters. We want to promote breaking the cycle guys, not perpetuating it. This is something I'm very passionate about. Expect better, from your characters and from your writers. If they can't adequately tackle what it takes to atone for such actions, they shouldn't try.

I also do not understand this argument for Quaritch, he does not have any past trauma for you guys to excuse him with?? We don't know his backstory. Don't project, read and watch critically.

But, here's a bonus unpopular take because you've all heard this one from me before: I don't understand the Rotxo hype, or the Rotxo and Kiri hype. My man Rotxo, while a cute little guy, is a budget Spider guys, without any of the character. Shipping him with Kiri is just for hating Spider and the complexities of him. Rotxo is literally the "stray cat" of Tonowari's family, where are his parents, it's never explained why he is there at any point. He's there at the final battle at Three Brother's Rocks and Lo'ak never even tells Jake he's there skskskks. Love him but him over Spider confuses the fuck outta me.

14. Hopes for Avatar 3?

I answered this perviously, but I will add another thing: I want more Mo'at content I am obsessed with her. Check out my Mo'at tag for me obsessing over Mo'at.

#thank you sm for these! sorry i'm behind on asks babes #i hope you found these so unpopular that u block me #jake sully #neytiri sully #jeytiri #tuktirey sully #kiri sully #miles spider socorro #spider socorro #miles quaritch #recoms #rotxo #tonowari #mo'at #is he babygirl or did he just commit a warcrime??/ #he can't babygirl his way out of this one! #melissa's asks #melissa og #melissa on avatar (cameron)

[incarnateirony]

Who is Patrick?

I swear I get this a lot, and I should ignore it, but at the same time I'm well aware how he cycles through people he cons so I'm always compelled to answer every time.

The direct answer, and the most honest, is a Try-Hard. He goes by TeamFreeWill2PointO on all platforms.

Even before I got new media contracts or got back into marketing where I am now, from past experience alone you can tell the man is a moron that has no idea what he's looking at professionally. The idiot waves are incredibly loud if you understand how everything works back end.

He tries very, very hard to present the image of being Exclusively In The Know, when generally he just compiles and interprets things like M&G whisperings, often terribly. His few sources are hilarious, like "I have a friend in LA" or "my brother's cousin's ex spouse's girlfriend worked on a project adjacent to Misha once", or better, the "Chaos Machine source" he uses that, while I also have known when they have good info, he is completely oblivious to the many limitations and causes for inconsistency therein with that source.

That's like. A tertiary source of mine, to put it in context. Like sometimes "Oh wow yeah that makes sense, that fits with XYZ" or something but not like. Wow. This Is My Primary Angle To Understand The Situation From source. In fact, I have repeatedly and now permablocked this source, because the drama they perpetually instigate and their overinflated sense of importance since they got the position--something I knew them long before. Like girl you don't even know what the fuck you're talking about thanks for the old tea and all but i'm a dolphin and you're burning earth, so long and thanks for all the fish. Your hot nonsense isn't worth having to play decoder ring if this is info, drama, you over reading things or having your meltdown of the week, none of which Pat is smart enough to pick up on. Herpaderp.

And that's where this dude gets lost. I mean sure, even the best, inside, working, professional, employed at production or marketing agencies or studios even larger than mine leakers still need to forage around for a little bit of information in the wind to make blind spots make sense. The ability to actually collect that information and understand what the fuck it means, however, comes purely from perspective, and Patrick lacks it.

This results in bullheaded wrongness, and arrogance the entire way down. For example, from early season 15 I was talking about the finale, the death order, a roadhouse reunion and all kinds of doohickeys and bells and whistles. Patrick mocked How Wrong I Was When I Was Confident. Then, over time, every member of the creative team slowly came out and confirmed it all piece by piece. But not before he DENIED any omission, BELLOWED he knew better, said it was THE PERFECT ENDING!!!! AND JENSEN LOVED IT!!! and then he paid 5K to but a script just to prove he was a moron, and I was correct, and the finale was heavily omitted.

He repeated this clownery when I leaked the Winchesters pilot script, screaming his CM source knew I was wrong. I know that source. I looked that source in the digital face and told them they were wrong when they told me the same thing, because none of the associated numpties could wrap their heads around why I knew they were wrong. No matter how Pat argued about Jensen's commenting about script leaks on stage went. It didn't matter. Filming and the trailer hit, and even after RESHOOTS the product is still impressively close to the script with a few settings/backdrop changes and fused quotes for time.

This dude is currently desperately baiting hashtag "little birdy", some tumblr anon messaging him, surely being itk, and asking them what kind of production access or which pilot script copy they have and like. Bro. What the fuck. Episode 8 has been batched out already. The pilot is literally from April. How the fuck are your gears still stuck here while you're pretending to be a source of breaking news, genuinely what in god's green earth.

Once in a while he gets uppity, and starts overt lies. I called it in advance this time, knowing exactly which videos he would cut short or misrepresent how, and pre-addressing the argument to disband it before he unironically launched into a fit about That Exact Thing And Claimed We Were All Mad About It.

He loves to insist I run a "cult" simply because I won't hand out all my fucking leaks like candy and wait until someone proves they can moderately hold their shit together in public before giving them direct access. Lest they do some dumb shit like Pat did. Who, when he got my prequel script distro, made a sock to post it to prove me wrong and how fake and bad it was, only to immediately get smacked by a DMCA takedown on all the hundreds of caps of the script. And yet he STILL refused to believe it was real.

He refused me when I said the whole thing is about letting go and moving on, he refused every single thing that has fallen and landed because at this point, he's really just showing his full anti ass. Despite the username, he's a jared stan that maliciously degrades jensen or others' works and like dramatically overinflates jared's perceived successes, mocks and hates the prequel, then tries to trip into the prequel conversation pretending he has any FUCKING concept of what's actually going on BTS or driving anybody here. He intentionally sews lies and bad accord and just outright suckers people in cycles again and again, on who he is, what he stans, how connected he is. When really, he's a dude that lives online, collects M&Gs, and argues with me when reality is interfering with his incest jerkoffs.

This all just over the final year, of course, disregarding his years of telling me I was delusional for pointing out Berens' very real Destiel intent, which he mocked with totes ITK friends that knew better and Besides, Berens Totes Stanned Wincest, tweeted ITK man that didn't know about the literal USS Destiel sitting on the man's desk. Fucking shit.

[queenmayor23]

Love In The Dark (Fire and Rain)

Batman's neighbors, The Drakes, were secluded billionaires. Bruce invited them on vacation in an attempt to merge the companies. A missile hit the plane, leaving Bruce as the sole survivor and Ra's al Ghul's most promising prodigy to take the place of the young Tim Drake. After years of sidekick training, "Tim" picks up a street rat Jason Todd stealing hubcaps off the Robin Cycle and forms a relationship with him.

~Years Ago~

---Gotham City---

There was a knock on the door, steady and hard.

"Coming!" The owner of the shitty upscale apartment yelled, but it wasn't fast enough for the beggar, so there was another knock, this time louder.

"I said, "Coming!" Give me a minute to get to the door." The door was swung open. "What the hell do you-"

A freshly turned eighteen-year-old stands there, his black suit soaked from the pouring rain. "Missed you at the funeral, Dick." He spoke monotonously as if all the color was drained from the world, and there was nothing but grey.

"Tim."

"Doesn't matter. I missed it too. Didn't even see the body. When I got there, he was putting the shovel into the ground to mark the headstone."

The only person he could confide in wasn't there for him, which hurt him deeply.

"Bruce said it would be better for you if we didn't make a big deal about it."

"And you listened? You know how I feel about Jason. You were my only friend for the longest time, and you knew everything. Things Donna and Garth wouldn't fathom to think about me. The three of us were brothers first, no matter Jason's feelings." He was speechless. His mouth was moving, but no words or sounds came out.

"Tim. I'm sorry-" 

"Are you? You've yet to let me in despite the pouring rain and the cold front. You've barely said anything besides your notecards Daddy put together for you. Dick, I went and looked at the cameras. I watched as he dug, dropped Jason's body, covered it, and cried for two hours. He obviously is dealing with it very roughly. So rough that the phone lines are down at the manor, even the emergency line. He sealed off the entrance from the Cave and locked all the gates after I left."

"I'm-"

"STOP SAYING I'M SORRY! Hug me. Ask me if I'm okay. Be Jason's brother. Be MY brother." The young man screamed, surely waking everyone on the floor.

Dick Grayson refused to touch Tim, not only because Bruce told him to, but if he did, he would be no help to his little brother. Dick knew Tim was hurting, but he didn't need the screaming to realize that. Despite his face being covered in rain and his hair drenched, Dick saw the single tear fall out of Tim's eye, and from that, his emotions weren't far behind.

"Fine. Just thought you would be better than him. Guess not. If you need me, fuck off." Tim turned around and headed back onto Gotham's streets.

He landed at the back entrance for the Nest. He inputs his code.

"Invalid entry."

He tries again.

"Invalid entry. Please try again."

He punches the console and makes another attempt.

"Invalid entry."

"Override 01"

"Voice recognition required."

The angry, broken-hearted ex-Robin deepens his voice until it is unrecognizable, nearly a growl, and he speaks. "I'm Batman." The Bat Symbol spins as it loads, and the screen glows green.

"Access granted." The elevator doors open, and he steps in, going to the residential floor.

It was dark. The only light was from the perpetual fireplace in the center of the floor and the illuminated glass placards. Tim walks to the kitchen pulling a glass and the "secret" bottle of whiskey from under the stove. He pours a drink and powers through. Then another. And another. And another. He makes one more drink and saunters back to the living room, and there it is, five sheets of glass, one representing each bird-themed hero. The blue Nightwing, the red "RR", a black spraypainted "R", a blue dove, and a red hawk. It all reminded Tim of what he had lost. Dawn left because she tried to get Hank clean, but he kept sneaking it behind her back. Dawn confronted Dick about the situation. He decided that as long as Hank could adequately do the job, he could stay, so she left. Jason was dead. Hank was probably doing a line of cocaine while shooting himself up with heroin. And it was all because of Dick. If Dick would've helped, they would be one happy bird family. Since he didn't, one was buried on this stormy night, one was knocking on death's door, another was dying a fate worse than death, and the other didn't want anything to do with them.

"Aargh!" The glass went flying across the room. Nightwing's panel was down, and the blue spotlight used to color the glass reflected through the window to the city. Then Tim picked up the bowl of decorative rocks from the coffee table. He and Hank thought they were stupid when they moved in, but Dawn liked them, so Hank changed his tune, and the impressionable Tim did anything to be like the cool kids. Dawn was gone, and so was Dove's panel, the white light untamed. Hank was off his rocker, and his panel soared to the floor in pieces. There was no Robin anymore, so they would have to replace it. Tim just made the contractor's job easier. The shattered glass on the floor was the pride and joy of the Nest just moments ago. When they installed it, Jason wanted to personalize his because he was an outcast. Dick allowed it after explaining why Hank couldn't do his design of a big red penis. On dark nights, you could see the symbols in the night sky. To some, they were symbols of hope. Others, chaos. But if you were looking for that hope tonight, all you would see was some lights and a red "RR" backlit by a gold luminescence.

Tim screamed and cried, breaking the dishware until nothing was left but the one glass and the bottle he had been drinking all night. It was nearing empty, and Tim could barely see straight. That's when he heard the 80s rock coming from down the hall. Tim gulped the rest of the bottle like it was the only thing to keep him going.

He slowly made his way down the hall, tripping and stumbling along the way. His training with Batman prepared him for the most potent Fear Toxin but not the 60-year-old whiskey. He listened to the soft music get louder. Then, Tim drunkenly pushes open the door revealing Hank Hall in a tank top and shorts. He sits on his bed, pulling the rubber band tight with his teeth, getting ready to insert the needle in his arm. 

He looks up to see the new adult bracing himself against the doorframe. He releases the tension on the band and drops the needle on the bed. "What the hell are you doing here, kid?"

"Ju-just taking the edge off. You know, doing the fun part of grieving where you drink until you feel like a fish. What's that you got there? A little heroine? What-whats got you down in the dumps? It can't be Jason because the only person who's allowed to grieve him is me. That memo came from the big bat himself, so don't worry, I got it all handled." Tim walks into the room and picks up the needle. "Don't want to accidentally sit on this, so I'll take it off your hands." Tim walks away, heading out of the room. Hank gets up, chasing Tim down the hall and into the lab seeing all the damage passing the living room and kitchen.

"Give me the needle, kid. You're hurt. I get that. What's in that syringe is something stronger than street drugs." Hank tries to talk Tim down as he ties the rubber band around his bicep.

"I'm not a kid anymore." Tim chuckles. "I don't think I've ever been a "kid". Except when I first met you guys, but what kid goes out in the middle of the night on patrol. I was raised to kill. Something like death shouldn't affect me like this."

"Death gets us all. Nobody can run from it."

"That's where you're wrong, Hanky Panky. See, there's this thing called a Lazarus Pit, and the man who raised me... Not the bat fucker but Ra's al Ghul he- he used it to keep himself youthful. He let me use it a few times. Without it, I- I would have never made it to Gotham. But I'm here. Crying like a little girl because my best friend is in the ground when there is a Lazarus Pit under WAYNE FUCKING MANOR!"

"Wait?" Hank starts to think but is too slow for Tim. 

"That's right! Bruce could've brought Jason back to life if he wanted."

"Does Dick know?"

"Who cares? He's just going to say some bullshit about Bruce not wanting to make a big deal about-"

"Stay here." Hank runs out of the lab, and Tim twirls the syringe in his hand. He strides over to the computer, and Tim places the contents of the syringe into a vial, taking the vial to the scanner. After waiting a few seconds for the scan, the computer analyzes the particles showing the genetic sequence of the serum.

"Mirakuru. Genetically it looks like Bane Venom or that weird formula Mark Desmond created." Tim researches the serum, articles, database archives, and encrypted files flood the screen. "Mirakuru is a super-soldier serum created by the Japanese during World War II that causes enhanced physical abilities once injected. Use of the serum can risk death or warp the person's mind and personality, driving the subject to insanity, aggression, and hostility." He finished reading. "Sounds like a regular day in Gotham."

Tim takes the vial from the scanner and inserts it into a syringe gun. "Let's warp my mind." Tim injects himself with the serum causing him to convulse for a moment before regaining control of his body.

Tim goes to the Bird House, a room designated for their suits, and takes a pistol from Searcher's suit. Then, he calls the elevator and leaves the building.

Hank ran back to his room, looking for his phone. He finds it and dials the last number he called.

"Dammit, Dick, pick up the phone!" After several forwards to voicemail, he calls another number.

"Hello?"

"Thank fucking God you got service on that damn island."

"Hank? Wha- How did you get my number?"

"That doesn't matter right now. You need to ask for the keys to that invisible jet because Tim is off his fucking rocker."

"Hank, Tim is grieving. We all are. He not only lost Jason, but he lost his team too. Light did a number on all of us. So Tim throwing a tantrum or two is understandable."

"Disbanding the Titans, I get. Drinking his problems away, I get. You didn't see how he wrecked the living room and the kitchen. You didn't see how drunk off his ass he is. He's craving drugs. He has drugs. And you know how anti-drugs he is after the Stephanie Brown situation."

"Where would he get something that would actually affect his body? The street stuff isn't going to cut it."

Hank sighs. "He got it from me."

"Are you serious, Hank? You know what, why did I think any higher of you? Of course, you would call someone else to clean up your mess. Dawn was right about you." The phone call ends.

"Shit."

Hank searches his phone for another number to call, and he hears the elevator's ding. He darts to the Bird House and calls the elevator, but it returns vacant. The undone strap of Pat's holster gives him cause for alarm. Tim hated using guns. He called them a coward's weapon, one of the few things he and Jason actually fought over. Jason had a black eye for a month and was pulled from patrol for insubordination, but Tim snuck him out. Hank runs to the lab seeing a used gun on the table and the screen showing his Mirakuru research. Hank calls Zatanna Zatara a last-ditch effort to stop his friend.

"Zee, I know you can't bring anybody from the dead, but if you could, right now would be the time to do it. Tim is out on the streets and about to do some damage. Not including he injected himself with a super drug. I'm going after him, but please, you're the last person I know who can help him."

"You're right. I can't bring back the dead, but I can give him some comfort. Find Tim and get him alone. I have a plan."

In the dark and damp streets of Gotham, the rain had stopped. Tim wandered in his soaking wet clothes picking fights with anyone he deemed worthy of one. He walked the sidewalk in front of an alleyway where a man held a couple at gunpoint. A shot rang out. The two men stood there in fear holding each other close, shielding their eyes from their horrifying death. After realizing they were unharmed, they opened their eyes. They saw their attacker standing still and a bloodstain growing on his shirt. The man dropped to the ground; the couple looked up and saw Tim's silhouette illuminated by the blinking streetlamp, still holding the gun as if he were waiting for a glamor photo.

The burlier of the men tried to focus his sight on his hero, but Tim was gone. Walking further down the street, Tim is run over by a guy in a red hoodie running down the road. "Hey!" Ignoring the call, the guy continues running. In his anger, Tim chases after him. After running for a few minutes, Tim sees the assailant run into an abandoned building. "Got you now fuck face."

Tim holds the gun tight in his hand and slowly enters. "You forgot to say sorry. You fucking lowlife."

Stalking further into the building, Tim comes to a wall and hears music on the other side. He follows the wall to find a door, and after the count of three, he kicks the door in. It was a barroom, and at the sight of the gun-wielding young man, everyone cleared out. The band leaves their instruments in a hurry to escape the possible gunfire. Tim scans the room looking for the guy he ran down, but he's gone.

"Am I at the seeing things stage?" 

Tim walks behind the bar fixing himself another drink. 

"If you get to drink, then I want a beer."

Tim lets the words enter one ear and exit the other. "I am definitely hearing things." He pours the whiskey into a glass and fixes himself a bowl of fruit from the fridge under the bar top. A song begins to play on the drums. It was Jason's favorite song from Hank's playlist, a point of contention between the two during parties at The Nest. But this one song was the musical opinion they agreed on.

"Got it bad, got it bad, got it bad. I'm hot for teacher. I've got it bad, so bad. I'm hot for teacher."

It was his voice. It was THE voice. It was Jason's voice. Tim turned around and looked at the poorly lit stage, the lights obscuring the face attached to the drummer's body.

"No. It can't be. Bruce refused to put you in the pit. Zee can't bring back the dead, and Zatara has been missing, so I will ask you this once. Who are you?"

"It's me-"

"Bullshit!" Tim screamed, squeezing the glass so tight it cracked, spilling into his palm. He put the glass down on the bar top, wiping the wasted alcohol on his pants, which were still uncomfortably wet. It was like he took the polar plunge challenge fully clothed and never dried off.

"It's me whether you believe me or not. I'm here to give you closure." The drummer stands.

"Give me the wrong answer, and I'll shoot. How did you die?"

After a few breaths, the voice, who may or may not be Jason, responded. "Joker's girlfriend kidnaped me, and about an hour later, Joker took a crowbar to my face and blew up the building on top of me." There was a slight beat before the gun clip was unloaded on the stage. The drummer jumped down in the nick of time, dodging bullets aimed at him, although sloppily.

"Jace never called Harley the Joker's girlfriend. He either called her Harley or the Queen of Arkham." The guy took a couple steps towards Tim, and now in the light, Tim could see his face. The face that matched the voice. Jason slowly moved toward Tim, the gun aimed at his heart.

"You don't want to do that, Red. Put the gun down. You hate feeling it in your hand. You-"

"Take another step, and I'll shoot!" Tim was so distracted he didn't hear the round of police sirens going off outside. 

"Red, calm down. You don't even know if I'm even real. Look at yourself. If I were alive, I would be so pissed. You made a promise to me. Do you remember what it was?"

"I promised to not let you become something you're not. You're not your parents-"

"So, do you think this stunt your pulling is honoring that promise?"

"That was for you, not me."

"And you held me accountable. For everything. Cleaning the bikes, making sure the oil was changed on the BatMobile, and polishing boots, even Dick's from his Robin days. I had protocols in the BatHandbook memorized more than Alfred, and on top of that, I was training, doing chores, out on patrol with Bats, and going to school."

"You think I wasn't doing my fair share of tasks?"

"I know you did. That's why I admire you so much. I never loved you." 

Tim's face didn't show it, but he was stabbed in the heart. Was it true? Did Jason never love him? What about at the stadium? That was more of an order. Had Tim been fooling himself all this time? Reaching for something that he would never have. Was love an unachievable goal for an assassin like him? All of these questions and thoughts ran through his head. Suddenly a boom made him flinch as three thugs came into the building, entering the barroom.

"Put the gun down, kid. I don't wanna hurt ya."

The men entered the room. Muscular tough guys, with physiques rivaling Bruce and Hank.

"Are they real?" Jason said out loud, but who he said it to could be brought into question.

In his reckless mind-fogged state, Tim aimed the gun at the mobsters and pulled the trigger. When nothing came out, he grabbed a barstool and swung it against one guy's face breaking it into pieces. Then, Tim took two of the legs and used them as batons. It was a scary and bloody scene. When Tim was done, they weren't breathing.

Outside, more police sirens approach the building. An unmarked vehicle came to a halt. An older man steps out, walking with a cane. Hank turns around, sees the man, and instantly fends him off. 

"Commissioner, I know what this looks like, but we-"

"Hall, I have reports of shots fired and a trail of people severely beaten within an inch of their life. Whoever is in there has to pay."

Hank sighs. "How we looking, Zee?" 

Zatanna stands facing the door, eyes as bright as the moon and her gloves glowing to match. "Stable on my end."

"Oracle?"

"It's bad, Hank. The cops need medical attention. If it weren't for Zatanna's spell, they would've been dead. You have to keep my dad from going in there." Oracle speaks from Hank's earpiece.

"Commissioner, I need you to hold your men back. We almost have him ready to come out."

"Who's in there? Two-Face? Mad Hatter? Zsasz?"

"I can't tell you at the moment."

"Why?"

"You're not going to like who it is, and I'm not letting your daughter blame me for your blood pressure being higher than Wayne Tower."

"For God's sake Hall, I have people in there, and if they don't come out, I go in."

"I am begging you for ten more minutes. We have everything under control."

Commissioner Gordon sighs, knowing the stakes of keeping his officers in the building. "You have ten. One second more, and I'm pulling the plug."

Back inside, Tim sits the bodies on the wall, having them lean on each other for support, and throws the empty gun on top of them. He turns to Jason. "Now, where were we?"

"The highlights were me saying I never loved you, you threatening me, and questioning whether any of this was real. You're hopped up on Mirakuru and drunk out of your mind. Ooo, what if it's a spell?" Jason says with a slight grin on his face.

"Bringing Jason back is out of Zee's wheelhouse. And there's no one else who can do that."

"She is becoming a master of illusion. She should take that act on the road, like her father. Well, that didn't end too well for him. Hopefully, she can do better. Now that I think about it, Zee never did find Giovanni? She probably would have if she had her team behind her. With all of those Bat resources at your disposal-"

"Bruce looked for him. We all did. It was like he vanished into thin air, but with magic involved, he could be anywhere."

"The tech genius believing in magic isn't that funny. No, what would really be funny is if this was all a dream."

Hearing this, Tim was taken aback. Could this be a dream? When did it start? Was it after the building? Was it when he watched Bruce bury the body? Is he laid out on the floor in the lab with a needle in his arm from the Mirakuru?

"If this is a dream, there's only one way to wake up." Tim takes another wooden stool, smashes it like the first time, and picks up the leg with the sharpest end. He swings it around in his hand for a moment. Tim grips it tightly and proceeds to impale his chest. After a loud response to the pain, he twists the wood beam deeper when another voice enters the room. 

"Stop."

Tim looked to the door to see the woman he called his sister dressed in black and red leathery armor. 

"Nyssa?"

"Father has requested that you return immediately. Your time in Gotham has expired, and you shall resume your duties with him, Al Layl."

Al Layl was a name that became foreign to Tim, but that's how he knew everything had happened. That the pain he experienced was not something he conjured as a punishment. He looked about the room and saw the bodies he piled together. 

"Nyssa, I did-"

"There is no time for apologies. You are an assassin again. Act like it." Nyssa pulls the wood from Al Layl's chest and patches it up for travel. 

"Are we done here?"

Nyssa's eyes pivot to Jason. "Yes, we-" A crowd of gangsters floods the room aiming weapons at Al Layl.

"Hands where we can see them."

"Don't shoot! Don't shoot!" Hank runs in after them. "Zee, drop the spell." Then, in a blinding light, the barroom returned to an empty warehouse. The gangsters turned into GCPD cops wearing SWAT gear, including the ones in the corner. Al Layl saw everything for what it was, but one thing stayed the same, Jason was still there looking confused.

"It's okay. You can take it off now!" Hank yelled across the empty space. 

Jason scratched at his neck, peeling off his skin to reveal himself. "Nice to meet you, Timothy."

"Christopher Chance, the Human Target." 

"In my flesh."

"All this-"

Hank interrupts Al Layl, talking straight to Nyssa. "He needs to get out of here now, or Gordon will arrest him. Jet's waiting on the roof."

Hank, Chris, and the police officers walk out of the building. "Where is he?"

"I told you, Commissioner. We had everything under control." From the corner of Hank's eye, he sees Chris and Zatanna meet Dick Grayson behind one of the tactical trucks. Dick makes eye contact with Hank, and Hank somberly and inaudibly mouths, "Thank you," Dick nods, leaving the crime scene with Zee and Chris following.

"Under control? Explain "under control" to the families that I have to tell that their son or daughter won't come home because they're dead!"

"Whelm yourself, Gordon.."

"You know what? I'm done. Done with you, with Batman and his Robins, the Tit-" Gordon grabs his chest dropping his cane, and his breathing falls short. 

"Commissioner?" Hank notices the sweat covering his face and hands. Gordon begins to fall, but Hank moves closer, catching him. "Medic! I need a medic over here!" Hank yells as the paramedics ride away the officers that Al Layl piled up.

"Gordon. Gordon? Say something, Jim." Jim doesn't move. He takes a breath, but when his chest falls, it never rises again.

"Hank, what's going on? Hank, talk to me." Hank heard in his ear, forgetting Oracle was on the other side.

"The Commissioner is down. He's dead, Barbara."

#gay #titans hbo max #titans #nightwing #hawk and dove #wonder girl #donna troy #aqualad #zantanna zatara #oracle #ra's al ghul #nyssa al ghul #batfam #red robin #red hood #dick grayson #tim drake #jason todd #barbra gordon #commissioner gordon #hank hall #dawn granger #arrowverse #cw arrow #slade wilson #deathstroke #grief #we are robin #dr. light #max mercury

[paragonrobits]

so for a while my dad has been talking about moving me and my brother out into an apartment or... SOMETHING, when it gets brought up it keeps being something different. Contextually I THINK this means that he’s reevaluating what it means for him because of price, since at one point he was discussing moving us into a mobile home or trailer he would buy and have us pay it off over a long period of time (an individually very small amount so we wouldn’t be finanfically helpless, though i also wouldn’t put it past him to take over half my monthly income not necessarily out of greed but because he genuinely has no idea how hard it its to survive on a monthly basis on that little amount I would have left and he refuses to listen to me no matter how many times i tell him “NO I CANNOT FEED TWO PEOPLE, A CAT AND ALSO PAY ALL THE BILLS THAT COME WITH A NO UTILITIES INCLUDED HOME”). the only reason this hasn’t already happened is because apparently they don’t know how much money I would have to pay on a monthly basis for lot rent

one particular issue here is that he doesn’t talk to me about any of this. At all. I get told absolutely nothing at all unless I happen to overhear him talking to my brother (or my brother just tells me what’s going on afterwards) and even then he still isn’t telling my brother anything unless its already been decided, and even then it tends to be a ‘oh yeah we think we will do this’ and again, I get told absolutely nothing at all so I have no idea what’s going on at any time.

so i started looking at places to potentially rent in the nearby area, since he seems to want to have us nearby (most likely for our safety because he’s also a prejudiced person who insists that living outside the places he does is Not Safe) and it occurred to me extremely quickly that one problem he just will not understand or listen to is that all the places where we live are REALLY expensive.

Me and my brother literally could not afford to live around here, even at the cheapest possible places. And he JUST. WON’T. LISTEN TO ME. No matter how many times I try to explain to him that we can’t afford to live in this area when even the lowest amount of rent is nearly three times my entirely monthly income, he just goes ‘oh it’ll be fine’ despite every single time we’ve been evicted proves it is NOT fine. Rent is constantly skyrocketing in Arizona everywhere; nearly 2000 dollars is the minimum price for even cheap apartments right now, and it’s only getting more expensive, and given that he almost exclusively shops at massive value places where you have to subscribe to the store just to be allowed to shop there, I think he genuinely has no comprehension of what it means to live on the kind of budget I do; every month i have to beg him for help just feeding myself and my brother because we are left with too little money to actually afford to buy food given the prices of the stores near us, and he always promises he will but somehow things are delayed until next month comes around and he goes ‘oh you don’t need any help, your money just came in‘

and at this point it feels like a perpetual and continually depressing cycle that’s just getting worse because right now we spend all our time in the garage (since we’re essentially being made to have that be our ‘room’, and its one reason my dad keeps talking about moving us out because others in the house keep complaining about wanting the garage back) and now its getting close to summer, and it keeps getting so hot pretty soon if we’re not moved out we will be unable to do anything in there during the day. My brother has an industrial-grade fan but it can only do so much, and the old swamp cooler my dad had sitting around is partially broken and mostly just makes things humid.

honestly at this point i would pretty much take being put into the worst studio you could imagine because it would still be better than this, but there’s little chance of us moving anywhere affordable because my dad refuses to consider anywhere that I can actually afford (which at this point would appear to be, say, Tucson and that’s DEFINITELY far away relative to where we are) so i genuinely can only hope for some kind of move out relatively soon when they all get fed up of me existing in the area and just move us out on their own money because of the whole debt cycle they keep me stuck on, i can’t afford to do anything except hang on as long as possible and hope against hope they actually wake up and realize that the kind of situation they think rental ownership is doesn’t exist in Arizona and probably never did

#personal #i hope this doesn't depress anyone #for me its mostly just same old same old #at least its been relatively cool lately

[lightspren]

i am. so very stressed.

my dads health is apparently in the toilet. but of course he and mom aren’t telling us this (until mom got so stressed she had to vent to my sister, who told me). and since we’re not supposed to know we can’t just go help with the things they need help with or dad would get mad and either cause problems for mom or cause himself a cardiac event.

(bonus stress: perpetual guilt that i don’t go see them enough, or my in laws for that matter)

i have to go to my sisters tomorrow and play with the kids and it is fun, i do enjoy it, but they’re so exhausting. it’s so loud and it’s so much and i’m just not good at dealing with it. but i love the kids so i’ll go. plus my brother will be there with the baby and i wanna see her too

my yard is a wreck. I didn’t do any garden this year because i’m still terrified of bugs from the incidents last year. and we’ve both been sick so no chance of taking care of the grass. and there’s weeds growing up everywhere that I haven’t dealt with. and frankly don’t know when i’ll be physically able and have the time to deal with them. plus the junk on the carport that’s needed dealt with for like. years at this point i think.

then inside needs vacuumed and dishes and deep clean the kitchen and bathroom and junk needs removed and on and on and on. and on. plus repair things like the leaky pipe and the ceiling peeling off in the bathroom. plus the dishwasher we bought literal years ago but never got to installing because i cannot get my shit together enough to get the supplies and get my brother in law to come help do it

oh and i just remembered the plushies i told the kids i’d make like nine months ago that are still in various pieces.

then oh as if i’m not complaining enough i’m over here tearing myself apart over thinking i’m not a good writer and am wasting my time (and i don’t need a speech about “enjoying the process”—I usually do enjoy the process. but I also desperately want my story to be shared with other people, and I can’t tell if it’s too shitty and self indulgent for that or not)

and also. the respiratory infection seems finally mostly clear. still have a bit of a cough but it’s getting better. so i’m just fucking sitting here *waiting* to see what the next fuckery is, because I’ve been in this cycle since January and i’m quite certain it isn’t just going to stop

it’s just. they’re all little things. especially in the grand scheme of The World. they’re all little things!!! they’re all little things that have piled up into big things and now each and every one of them seems completely insurmountable. i am exhausted and I just want to rest. GOD i want to rest. but even when i plan downtime i have half this shit staring me in the face and letting guilt eat away at me for not doing Things.

and i know right now i need to sleep but it’s a bandaid. this feeling is still under the surface at all times, the gnawing grinding guilt of it all, of being a failure of an adult.

and i don’t have a point here. I don’t need told that i deserve to rest or that i’m not failing. conceptually i recognize that this is an overreaction. but it still feels real and the fact of the matter is that I have no idea how I’m supposed to manage dealing with all of this shit. especially when I just want to sleep and never leave my house. the end.

#kit talks #just. ignore i’m fine.

[eclipsecrowned]

how likely my song of rice and tire muses are to fuck you up: a muse ranking, by kadi.

roose. come on. i play him as an ageless skin-wearing beast. he has forgotten more torture methods than modern w*steros can conceive of. in his boyhood he was a one-man invasion force for the others. every red king that ever claimed a victory over the kings of winter was this man alone. he is the apex predator of this fandom and let us all pray he never has to prove it.

asha. unlike other options beneath her, asha was raised in a war-cult based around killing and maiming for personal glory. she's as hard and sure as the rocks along the isles. there was no option for her to be otherwise. she will fuck you up with a grin and a snide remark just because you ran your mouth a little too leisurely. this woman is not afraid flex what she became to survive.

brienne. a knight of legend before she's even turned 20, able to take down armed men, wildlife, and whatever pl*netos seems fit to throw at her next. while the dunk genes might have given her a physical advantage in her towering stout strength, that prowess is all pure grit and dedication. songs will be sung of what an absolute powerhouse brienne is and continues to be.

jon. you don't become the youngest commander on the w*ll without some good martial instincts. he was brought up in the household of a living legend from the last war and given as great an education in arms as one could hope for in w*sterosi society. ignore his age. this kid will wreck your shit. lest we forget he overturned boiling oil on his enemies without even blinking.

laerion. he's the token normie of team black, which just makes what he pulls off all the more impressive. a knight and nobleman, he was doubtlessly raised to be able to hold his own in combat. however, his strengths are based more on naval warfare and tactics, as well as a pull towards social manipulation when his back is to the wall. jack of all trades, master of none.

tyrion. have any of you ever fought a nerd with daddy issues? no? then you don't know what's coming for you. man was coldblooded enough to shoot his own dad dead on the shitter. he decapitated a man with his shield alone. you underestimate tyrion at your own peril, because while words and gold are a fine weapon, he is not above violence if it serves him, too.

aegon iii. he's tired. war destroyed everyone around him and made him an orphan. it's not that he can't fight, he would just prefer not to. what in this world is so important that it warrants the perpetuation of a violent cycle? man has been beaten down since he was a child. let him talk things out and try to be more than what his grandfather's foolishness won the family.

lya. points deducted for being a literal child in her mainverse, but the point stands that she's the daughter of this list's top dog and has spent her developmental years fending off her monster of a half brother. if you look at her and see an innocent child who is without guile, you are only half right. her size versus r*msay's just means she had to get clever and strike faster and deeper.

viserra. mean girl, will girl-fight dirty. slap, bite, pull hair, generally willing to have a knock-down drag-out fight if it comes to it. however, she's no alyssa and ha no desire to be so. she's hot and titled. she doesn't see the point in using violence when just being viserra targaryen can get the same shit done without ruining her ensemble. still wants to physically fight both parents though.

joanna. like her son, is a nerd with no true martial training. unlike her son, has no simmering physical rage leveled against the injustice of the world. is on record saying tears are a woman's weapon, and that really says how much of a threat she was. it was all about mind games and social manipulations for joanna, and less about if she could wreck her enemies physically.

mira. daughter of possibly the most wolf-blooded man in the narrative. niece to the utter chad that was the sword of morning. a weakling who gets ill at melees. she's not for violence, having a more pacifistic approach to problems. you might want to watch your cup for poison, but you're safe from her trying to throw down with you in the red keep parking lot.

#crack //