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fuckaperioddrama · 1 month

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Blaise Zabini Headcanons

Author’s Note: I've grown to love Blaise. I will write one for Draco and maybe Tom, but I have some other stuff I want to write first. My drafts are filling up.

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Theodore Nott Headcanons

Mattheo Riddle Headcanons

Lorenzo Berkshire Headcanons

Tom Riddle Headcanons

Draco Malfoy Headcanons

Regulus Black Headcanons

Masterlist

Minors DNI | 18+

___

Blaise Zabini | Physique

6’2 - 6’3 | Same height as Mattheo

Lean build and naturally athletic. Very toned.

His V line??? No words.

He gives me major jock vibes in terms of how he looks.

I feel like he also looks super clean?

I don't know if that makes sense. Like skin glowing, clothes freshly pressed, very clean and nice hands. He looks like someone who has their life together.

Resting bitch face. Always looks uninterested and unamused.

Besides that, he has a really nice smile. It changes his whole aura.

Really nice teeth. When he smiles, your eyes are immediately drawn to his mouth.

His smile is just so warm and comforting.

He's really pretty?

Intimidatingly pretty, it's like he doesn't have a single bad feature.

Blaise Zabini | Personality

The best one in the group. Genuinely. Still has asshole tendencies, but there's no doubt that he's the nicest one.

He was raised by a strong woman and never had a consistent father figure in his life.

While this left its scars, it made him into someone who really respects women and their opinions.

Unlike his friends, he doesn’t see them as pieces of meat.

He has a lot of different friend groups. He hangs out mostly with the boys, but he’ll make an appearance in the other groups from time to time.

He's not friendly, but he's polite. He won't approach a random person, but if they approach him he won't brush them off.

They never get much out of him. He’s very short, not trying to carry the conversation and uninterested.

The people who don't know him think he's just like that and the people who do know him know he's hinting that he wants them to go away.

Judgemental and stubborn.

He has his way of doing things and if you do it differently then he thinks you're annoying. He doesn't get mad, just agitated.

He won't always say what's on his mind, but he'll show it through his facial expressions.

He's so funny. He has this big tough guy exterior, but he can be so sassy.

Draco will walk out in a new suit he just bought

Cost me quite a lot. I look good don't I?

Blaise will just lightly screw his face up in distaste.

Mm.

He doesnt even have to say anyting to be a bitch.

Don't ever cross him. He will make you regret every life decision you ever made.

He's so observant, he notices everything. He picks up on every mistake, every insecurity, and will point them out just to get back at someone.

Seriously. He will bring you to tears if you piss him off.

But when he's really hurt by someone or something he becomes very stoic. He will never break down in private, but never in public.

Nervous breakdown in the closet, tears, snot, the whole lot. Then he’ll walk out looking completely fine.

He is really good at putting himself together in a pinch.

Will NEVER speak up when he's suffering and he hates it when people know about the things he's going through.

A bit of a loner, but like Theo he makes appearances at parties and big events because he's from a good family. He feels like it’s expected of him.

He's an unintentionally social person. People just start talking to him out of nowhere and he lets them.

Mainly because he likes to know stuff about people.

Blaise wants the tea. He wants to know who did what and why they did it.

He and Draco have a little debrief each week to talk shit. He would never miss it.

A keeper in Quidditch

Once again, all of the boys smoke some weed from time to time. Blaise partakes in both alcohol and weed equally.

Definitely a dark liquor man

Pretty pretentious when it comes to alcohol. He hasn't even tried the cheap stuff. Never will.

He travels to distilleries to handpick his own bottles and barrels. Knows a lot about how to make whiskey, bourbon, etc. It's a little fun fact about him. | I know this is so random, but I feel like this just suits him???

Blaise Zabini | Casanova

Blaise is a pretty straightforward person.

He's not really classified as a manwhore, but he also doesn't believe in celibacy either.

He hooks up every now and then. At least 1-2 girls a month. It's very casual.

There's not a lot of buildup. He doesn't spend days pursuing these women. It's usually 2 hours or 10 minutes.

He decides he wants sex and finds a girl he thinks is attractive.

Has NEVER been turned down. It's crazy. He can talk up anyone. Such a smooth talker.

Blaise doesn’t fuck, he makes love.

He he pays attention to how their body reacts and quickly learns how to please them.

He's slow and passionate. Loves missionary.

But there's not a lot of emotion on his part. Not very vocal either.

He likes to touch and feel, he's not wasting time on words.

Aftercare is average but it’s there which is more than I can say for any of the other boys.

He'll clean them up afterwards and then place a joint in his mouth while he pours himself and them glass of whiskey. Wanna smoke?

If the they reach out to him then he'd be down to have sex again maybe, but he doesn't reach out to anyone after they hook up. He always finds a different person.

He has a three and done rule for the people he does see again. Will never hook up with a single person more than three times because he doesn't want to catch feelings or vice versa.

Doesn't date. That's it. He makes it very clear to everyone around him that he isn't a relationship person. He doesn’t lead anyone on and is very blunt about his intentions.

He says he has no interest in it, but deep down he’s really afraid of intimacy and vulnerability.

He’s got commitment issues

Blaise Zabini | Friend

Closest to Theo and Draco. They’re on the same level.

Second closest to Tom. He and Tom are the ones who sit back and watch the chaos unfold.

More so Tom because Blaise will usually end up putting a stop to it eventually.

Blaise is the glue that holds everyone together. They would genuinely fall apart without him.

He is the only person who can boss them around. No one gets it, but they just listen to Blaise?

Blaise doesn’t talk much, even around the boys. So when he does talk people have to pay attention. His voice is very deep and naturally assertive. He can silence a room with one word.

Blaise really helps the boys grow.

Blaise makes them better people because he has the most empathy.

Instead of taking his pain and turning it into anger, he turned it into understanding. He really tries to see everyone’s perspective and why they do what they do.

Whenever the boys get into arguments and are so wrapped up in their own pride Blaise is the one to remind them to think about how the other person feels.

Devil's Advocate. Usually a middle man. It’s rare he’s involved in confrontations.

The boys don't take care of Blaise in return because he won't give any indication he needs taken care of.

Except Theo. He knows Blaise doesn’t want to talk about what he’s going through, but he notices the difference in his demeanor. It's because they are very similar in how they handle their feelings.

It’s hard for Blaise to let loose and have fun. He’s usually very serious, but the boys are able to coax it out of him.

When Blaise does let loose he goes wild.

The most drunk, the most high, and he is running in every direction causing the most chaos. The boys are shocked each and every time and without fail always bring it up whenever they hang out.

Three months after the incident they’re all sitting in the common room and Lorenzo speaks up.

Hey Blaise? Remember when you got drunk and almost went home with that 70 year ol-

Remember when you knew how to shut the fuck up?

Blaise Zabini | Boyfriend

Gentle

He's so tender and sweet with you.

Blaise never yells at you. Ever.

I feel like Blaise also has this protector/provider mindset. He spent most of his life taking care of his mom and making promises to her that he would never turn out like the men she married. The men she had to get rid of.

It's part of the reason why it took him so long to let himself fall in love. He felt a lot of pressure to get it right and make his mom proud.

Blaise isn't big on PDA. He thinks it’s showy and unnecessary, he'd much rather show his affections in private. Physical Touch

Blaise still likes to keep you close to him despite not being big on PDA. Like Mattheo he finds comfort in knowing you're safe. But Blaise won't reach out to touch you, he’ll just make sure he's in your space.

Letting your legs touch as you sit together, walking so close through the hallways that your hands graze with each sway of your arm, standing directly behind you so much so that your back is pressed flush against his chest.

You always know he's there.

Then there's private touches.

He'll send you a note to meet him in the Room of Requirement after class.

The second your foot steps into the room you're pulled into his embrace. You feel the weight of his shoulders melt away as he slumps into your touch. Pulling back he traces his finger tips up your arm, moving past your shoulder and neck before gently cupping your face in his hands. He doesn't say anything, just staring at you while his eyes scan every feature from the tip of your hairline from the bottom of your chin.

Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm okay. He mutteres pushing his face down and connecting his lips to yours. I just missed you.

When you're standing in the hallway he'll softly squeeze your hip for a couple of seconds to announce his presence.

Sometimes when you're walking with the group he'll grab your wrist and hold you back while the others keep going. Before you can even question it you feel his lips press against yours.

He smiles at you and you two bask in the couple seconds of tenderness hidden from the rest of the group.

Blaise doesn't feel the need to announce his love to everyone, just the one that matters. You.

He mainly shows his love through spending time with you and doing things he believes will make your life easier. Quality Time and Acts of Service

Blaise enjoys his alone time and will never hang out with someone unless he genuinely wants to.

You realize how much Blaise cares about you because he invites you to do the things he usually does by himself.

Sitting at the black lake to think, walking around Hogsmeade when he thinks too much, lounging in his room, savoring his drink and letting his breath calm with each exhale of his joint.

Blaise wants you there. Even when you're both not talking, he finds comfort in your presence.

He likes to take you to out as well. Blaise might take you out to an arcade, amusement park, or something fun every once in a while, but usually it's the more luxurious stuff. Wine tastings, fancy dinners, well hidden speakeasies. He always knows the best spots and he gets so excited to show them to you.

I feel like Blaise is a bit of a food snob and that would go over into your meals together.

He takes time explaining which wines go with which dish and he knows the backstory of the chef and where they got their training. He'll explain how to eat certain things in order to experience the most flavor. He can go on and on about it and you just let him because Blaise doesn't get excited about much. It's nice to hear him go on a rant every once in a while.

And while at these dinners Blaise is the perfect gentleman.

Pulls out your chair, holds the door for you, pays for everything.

Blaise prefers to be the one who pays, but he'd let you if you asked to. He likes to tease you about it if ever you end up paying. He'll wink at you before saying,

Thank you for dinner, my love. Now let me take care of dessert.

Blaise also likes to take care of you by making sure everything is pristine. I feel like he likes to stay clean and organized, so in turn he'll help you stay clean and organized.

Tidying up your room, organizing your desk, and if you have some items that are in disarray he'll replace them with newer versions.

It can start some small arguments if you're someone who prefers things a little messy.

Blaise, I don't need new shoes.

Yes, you do. Look! Theres a little hole right there.

I like the hole! I like how messy they look!

But WHY??

Then one day you come back to find brand new a box under your shoes. Rolling your eyes you put the fresher pair before heading out for the day.

Blaise sees you and instantly breaks out into a smile.

They're just going to get ruined like the last pair.

Then I'll go out again and buy you some more.

Gift Giving

Blaise likes to match.

I hate matching couple stuff, but it makes sense for him.

He buys you guys matching rings, matching shoes, necklaces.

If he goes out to buy himself a suit then he's getting you a dress that goes with it. Double of every shirt, every jacket, sweater.

He'll buy you a set of lacey blue lingerie and surprise you with a pair of briefs the exact same color. So we can be equally sexy.

Blaise is also a flower guy, but he likes to put together his own bouquets. Not himself, but he hand picks everything. He won't go to a florist and buy the bouquets on display. You're too special for that. He hand picks the best flowers, and takes time thinking about which ones will go best together.

He spends months planning out gifts for birthdays, Valentine's Day, anniversaries, etc.

Blaise makes a note of everything you like. I think he actually has a little piece of paper where he writes a whole bunch of potential gift ideas and information about you.

A dress you said you wanted, if you like gold or silver jewelry, favorite foods, flowers, etc. Sometimes when he's stumped he'll reference the list so he's able to put together presents for you.

Blaise also likes to write letters to you. Words of Affirmation.

It's easier for him to put it on a piece of paper rather than say it aloud.

You'll find little notes of encouragement in your bag before a test.

Notes telling you he loves you that he spelled to end up in your pocket.

He also includes letters in the gifts he gives you. Every single one to add his own personal touch to whatever he buys.

"I know I'm not a man of many words. Even though I've grown comfortable in my silence, I've still never found myself unable to articulate my thoughts into words. I've always been the type of person who was quick witted and knew the right things to say. But with you? With you all of my thoughts fade. You've driven me to stupidity. A silent idiot who can think of nothing more than how much I care for you. How much I love you. It may be hard for you to understand why I can't say this aloud very often. I can barely understand it myself. Just know that my love for you is always there. Even when my body falls, my love will live everywhere. The spot where we first kissed, first danced, or had our first date. Each of these places will hold our memories and our love. It'll make us infinite. Then we will live again and again and I get to fall in love with the best part of me over and over for the rest of all of our lives.

Happy anniversary, my love. I look forward to each and every one.

-Blaise"

Blaise Zabini | Committed Lover

Once again, Blaise doesn't fuck. He makes love.

He takes his time. Kissing you slowly, moaning as tongue slips into your mouth and his hands move to your shirt.

One by one he pops each button, taking his time to let his hands wander once your shirt is fully opened.

He doesn't want to rush, especially with you.

Like Mattheo, Blaise just enjoys the act of pleasing you.

He will spend ages tasting you, feeling you, bringing you to immense pleasure every single time.

He needs to make you cum at least 3-4 times before he even considers himself.

And then he'll lay you down gently, looking into your eyes as he gently brushes the hair out of your face. You're perfect.

He reaches down and grabs ahold of his length, moving it through your folds before positioning himself at your entrance. His eyes stay on you, looking for any signs of discomfort. Is this alright? Are you okay?

Blaise's number one priority is to make sure you enjoy sex the entire time.

Blaise is far from vanilla though. In fact?

...Blaise LOVES to be dominated

A SUB!!!!

When he's on top he doesn't talk a lot, even with you. It’s just a lot of moans and sighs. His main focus is on the feeling of it all and making sure you’re okay.

When he's a bottom???

VOCAL!! SO VOCAL!!

How does it feel pretty boy?

Ahhh! AH! I’m sorry, baby. I’m so sorry. Please fuck me! I'll be good! I promise!!

I don't know, Blaise. Only good boys get to fuck me. Do you think you were being a good boy?

Blaise had an attitude with you earlier. He was having a bad day and rolled his eyes at you when you asked him a question. You don't even remember what you asked. You just remember the look on Blaise's face when you raised your eyebrows at him. He knew he shouldn't have done that.

Now he was held down, your tie comfortably around his wrists as his arms were positioned to stay above his head. Your hand was wrapped around his cock, pumping slowly. Too slow.

I'm a good boy! Fuck! I'm your good boy! I'll never do it again! Just plea-Oooooooh fuck.

You had your back turned to him, ass in his face as you pushed yourself down on his long, hard cock. You began to bounce, going to his tip and dropping down, your skin slapping against each other with movement.

Did you forget your manners?

Your head turns slightly to look at him. His eyebrows were furrowed in concentration, mouth pressed together as he struggled to hold himself together. Not like you were making it any easier.

I-I. Mmmmmm...Ugh! Thank you!

You're welcome, baby.

It’s such a contrast. Seeing the once cool demeanor Blaise demonstrated crumble as he turned into a blabbering and whimpering mess for you. Only for you.

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ryozaki21 · 11 months

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diary of the heartbreakers;

00z series

╰┈➤ Diary of the Heartbreakers; 00z series

➸ ♡ They used to be the ones breaking hearts, but when karma comes around, suddenly the don't know what to do. Navigate through college life with your favorite idiots, and read through the Diary of the Heartbreakers.

GENRES: College AU, Smut, Fluff, Angst, Humour

WARNINGS: Minors DNI, Explicit sexual content, drug abuse, Infidelity, Toxic relationships/characters, Heavy topics discussed, player!00z, Language and Violence.

AUTHOR's NOTE: I thought long and hard about making this a series, because of my commitment issues and I don't trust myself to commit to a writing project like this TT, But since I have story ideas for these characters, (00z) I just linked all of them together. SLOW UPDATE. Also my first time doing a series, how about that?!? I hope you guys like it!

DISCLAIMER: This story is purely fanfiction. Only the names of the Idols are used, and does not reflect on them in real life. There's no way in any shape of form that they are like this in person, because I MADE IT UP. I don't personally know them. DO NOT STEAL / TRANSLATE / MODIFY. This is my work and I don't appreciate people stealing it. Thank you.

╰┈➤ After You

➸ ♡ Na Jaemin had it easy. Loved by everybody, the man of everyone's dream. He's a perfect mix of a charmer and a player. Girls begged to be his, and he loved every part of it. Life used to be so fucking perfect for him. Then comes you. You're like an old book, ink fading, cover tearing, but he swears you're worth the read. Before you, life was easy. After you? He wasn't so sure.

"Break my heart, and you'll find yourself inside."

GENRE: Angst, Fluff, Smut, Mature themes

WARNINGS: Minors DNI, Explicit sexual content, Language, Mental Illness, Drugs/Alcohol usage, toxic!reader, fuckboy!Jaemin (but still a sweetheart)

AUTHOR's NOTE: Oh, this one's heavy. Much serious than the other stories and quite one that's holds some sensitive topics. If I get some things wrong about certain topics, please do tell me and I'll quickly correct it. Enjoy reading!

Expected WC: 15k

STATUS: published

╰┈➤ Yours, Inevitably

➸ ♡ To say that Lee Jeno is pretty would be an understatement. The man's gorgeous. One thing he uses to his advantage, going through college getting girls he spots his eyes on. But there's one he just couldn't get. His brother's bestfriend. You can continue and avoid your feelings for each other, but eventually, it'll happen. You were someone that stayed, a constant in his life. You might not know it, but for the years you've known Lee Jeno, he slowly became yours, inevitably.

"I should've known that it was you, because no one else made sense."

GENRE: Fluff, Angst, Humour, Smut

WARNINGS: Minors DNI, Explicit sexual content, Language, Alcohol usage, Mentions of Drugs, fuckboy!Jeno, brothersbsf!reader

AUTHOR's NOTE: This story was collecting dust on my drafts for so longg! Originally I was gonna post it as a stand-alone but figured it made sense to be a part of this series. One of my faves. Also lots of other members of nct mentioned. Enjoy reading!

Expected WC: 8k-10k

STATUS: published

╰┈➤ The Fine Art of Rejection

➸ ♡ Huang Renjun, the sweetie of the year, is one hard star to catch. Not as easy as his other friends, he's quite difficult to have. Although he has a fair share of affairs with girls, it is considered to be a rare occurence. But you? Oh boy were you something. You were quite head over heels over him. His friends could never understand, but you were persistent to get the boy. No matter how much he refuses your advances, Its like you found art in rejection. But to what degree can you hold it out?

"I can be everything I want, but fuck, I only wanted to be yours. Even though you couldn't be mine."

GENRE: Unrequited love, Humour, Fluff, Angst, Smut

WARNINGS: Minors DNI, Language, Explicit sexual content, Alcohol Usage, cheerleader!reader, Renjun is sometimes rude lol

AUTHOR's NOTE: Actually, I wanted to write something pure fluffy for Renjun, but I figured I need to put a sprinkle (more than that actually lmao) of angst. Also my favorite plot to write. Enjoy reading!

Expected WC: 8k-10k

STATUS: published

╰┈➤ Illicit Affairs

➸ ♡ Infamous for being every girl's guilty pleasure, Lee Haechan strutted through his life shamelessly. But recently, the new girl caught his eye. Im Hayeon, who he believes that would finally tame his wreckless heart. He was confident he could get the girl. And when he did, he never expected her to have baggages. For example, you, Im Hayeon's best friend. Who suddenly, sparked an idea on his pretty little head. You're trouble-- and you're making Haechan commit Illicit Affairs.

"You're making me do bad things, very, bad things. But then again, I'm no stranger in being the bad guy."

GENRE: Fluff, Angst, Humour, Smut

WARNINGS: Minors DNI, Language, Explicit sexual content, Alcohol Usage, Infidelity, Haechan and reader is kind of an asshole

AUTHOR's NOTE: okay, for one, i don't condone cheating. its just for the story! also i won't tackle on it too much-- literally just for the plot. Enjoy reading!

Expected WC: 8k-10k

STATUS: published

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

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manheeiim · 7 days

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love hurts - rafe cameron

summary: in which you start to doubt rafe's love for you || warnings: drugs, mentions of overdosing, toxic relationship, reader slaps rafe, manipulation || genre: established relationship, angst || word count: approximately 1370

Lately, things have been rougher than usual between Rafe and you. I mean, sure, things were always kind of rough between you guys, but lately it'd been a bit more.. noticeable, if that makes sense.

He wasn't home often. When he was home he was often in a bad mood. You guys barely went on dates anymore. He wasn't texting you as much throughout the day the past few days either.

You were pretty much just left alone at home, lonely, while he went out to work. You knew that he was only out so much because he was working so much, but you were just tired of it lately. And truthfully, the working so much isn't what really bothered you, it was his lack of outward attention to you when he was around lately due to his bad moods.

Rafe had gotten home from being out working today, in yet another obviously bad mood so it wasn't a shock to you that shortly after he'd gotten home, he was sniffing up some coke to make himself "feel better".

You never really liked him doing coke. Any drugs really, but coke especially, considering how addictive it was and how obviously addicted he was. You were constantly worried that one day you'd come home and you'd find him dead from an overdose. It scared you.

You talked about how you didn't like it several times but Rafe only brushed you off. He did a lot of things for you but this was one thing he wasn't giving up, at least not any time soon.

You didn't really like being around him when he did coke, leaving the room when you saw him taking out the baggy with the white powder in it. He was fine with it and didn't bother you about it.

So, when you walked into the kitchen, you weren't exactly planning on him doing coke on the counter. You held your breath as you slowly walked over. When you walked over and lightly held onto his arm, he didn't even flinch as he continued slowly sniffing up the powder. It was when you spoke that he got annoyed.

"Rafe..." You quietly said and he already knew why you were saying his name.

"Y/n, don't." He said as he put his arm that you were holding onto out in front of you, lightly pushing you away as he went back to snorting the drugs.

You pouted, looking at him, watching as he slowly killed himself. You looked at him for a few moments before you lightly slapped his arm in annoyance.

Rafe looked up at you annoyed, "What's the problem?" He asked.

"You don't care about me." You whined and he just furrowed his eyebrows. Before he could even say anything back, you left the room, going upstairs to your guys' bedroom.

He stood in the kitchen, annoyed at what you said and also annoyed that you'd just walked off before he could even say something. He took some deep breaths as he tried to calm himself down before he went upstairs after you, wanting to ask what the hell that was all about, even though deep down, he knew.

You're sat on the bed, your knees curled up to your face as you wrap your arms around your legs and softly cry. You really were starting to feel uncared for and unloved by him. You're startled by the sound of the bedroom door opening and you look up to see Rafe coming inside. You looked away from him as you continued to cry.

"What's wrong, Y/n?" Rafe asked, trying to hold back but you could easily tell that he was really frustrated right now. You don't say anything as you look away. "Y/n, look at me." He sternly said and you looked over at him, sniffling as you wiped your tears.

"You don't care about me anymore." I said with a red face and pouty lips.

Rafe's eyebrows furrowed again as he closed his eyes for a moment, "What the fuck are you talking about?" He asked.

"You're barely home anymore, all you do is work. You barely even text me or call me throughout the day when you're out. When you're around, you pay no attention to me. I swear you hate me or something." You complained. Rafe let out an angry sigh at your words as he rubbed in between his eyebrows. "I mean, do you even love me anymore?" You then went on to say.

That was his breaking point. "Hey!" He loudly shouted. "Hey!" He shouted again, not as loud. "Watch your mouth." Rafe told you. "Of course, I love you, don't say something stupid like that ever again." He harshly said.

"No, you don't." You quietly said back.

"You don't know what the fuck you're saying." Rafe said. "Y/n, I work so much because I love you. I mean, we need money to survive, don't we? You want all those stupid clothes? Then, I have to work. I know that it's been more than usual lately but sometimes there's just times like that, there's nothing I can do about that." He told you. You let out a small sigh, you guessed he was right.

"I get that, Rafe, but when you are home, it just seems like you don't even care that I'm around." You said.

"Oh, so I'm the bad guy here because I'm tired after working all day long to provide for us?" Rafe asked.

"No, I never said that." You said, exasperatedly.

"I'm just tired out, you understand that, don't you?" Rafe then asked.

"I know, I just.." I trailed off, silent for a few moments. "You never listen to me when all I'm doing is caring about you." I said.

"I'm listening right now, Y/n." Rafe told you, letting out a sigh.

"Well, there's something you never listen about." You mentioned.

"Yeah? What's that? What are you going to complain about now?" Rafe then asked.

"I don't want you to do coke anymore!" You said.

"Here we go..." Rafe said, clenching his jaw as he sniffed.

"I know you're not going to listen to me but I'm scared all the time. Scared that I'll find you dead sometime!" I said, crying.

Rafe just looked at you. He wasn't going to give it up that easily and seeing you like this did make him feel bad, because, well he loved you. He always felt bad when you talked about this, but he was too self-involved to not make a change or even try to make a change when it came to drugs, not yet at least.

"I just.. I want you to know that." You quietly said, breaking the silence, as you cried, wiping your tears.

Rafe let out a sigh as he paced around the room a few times. You watched as he brought the palms of his hands to his eyes, holding them there, something he always did when he was frustrated and/or about to cry.

You hesitantly stood up, you don't know why you did, but you did. You then got up and went over to him. He slowed down, stopped, and looked down at you, removing his hands from his face.

You didn't say anything as you wrapped your arms around his muscular body, resting you face against his chest. He wrapped his arms around you, holding you as close to him as possible.

"I love you, Y/n. I don't want to hear you saying that I don't again. I do, I always will." Rafe softly told you.

"I'm sorry." You apologized.

"I'll.." there was a few moments of silence, "I'll try and be better when I'm home with you. I shouldn't be working as much as I have soon. I just have to get one big project done and that's it, then it'll be like before." Rafe said.

It was rare for Rafe to apologize and say things like this. He only ever really apologized to you.

"I love you, Rafe." Was all you could find the words to say in response.

"I know you do, Y/n." He softly said. "I love you too." He then told you.

-- link to my masterlist

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bloodynereid · 1 year

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hey i was wondering if you could write a warren rojas x reader fic where the reader is an absolute rockstar and what their relationship would be like since they’re two musicians dating one another while living with the six

i love ur writing

tyyy 💕💕💕

Rhythm of Our Love

pairing: warren rojas/rhodes x fem! reader

a/n: hi! tysm for ur request and hopefully I fulfilled it the best I could. also u didn't specify if you wanted fem or gender neutral reader so i kind of just went with fem if that's okay. also this fic kind of ran away from me so I guess you just get to spend 5.3k words falling more in love with warren (I personally like longer fics). oh and there's a lot of billy bashing in this, which wasn't really intentional but yk it happens. oh and btw i hadn't watched the new episodes yet when i wrote this so this is really just mixed with some book events so book spoilers (!!) - reader is kind of like female pete if that makes sense

tw: drug mentions (mescaline, weed, pills), addiction mentions, billy bashing (don't know if that qualifies as a warning lmao), swearing, cigarette smoking, mentions of cheating (billy and camila - not warren + reader)

description: the rise to fame of a band and the love story between the drummer and bassist that accompanies it.

Y/N (bassist for Daisy Jones & The Six): Is this on? Yeah okay right. So where do you want me to start? The beginning. Geez okay let’s start at the beginning then.

You grew up living next to the Dunne brothers and ended up taking up bass after listening to Queen and The Beatles. John Deacon and Paul McCartney made those songs what they were and you were proud to be able to play something similar to them. So it was only natural that you ended up joining the Dunne brothers after Graham accidentally heard you playing one summer night.

Y/N: God I can remember the first time I played with them so clearly. They had become a pretty established band in Hazelwood but Chuck had quit, wanting to go to dental school or some shit like that, so they were going to give the bass part to Eddie, until Graham found me.

Eddie: Y/N was a lifesaver. I would have to play bass if Graham hadn’t gotten her to join. Plus she was one of the best things that could have happened to the band.

It was a chilly night but you rocked up to your neighbor’s garage wearing a pair of flared jeans and a butterfly top. Your bass slung over your shoulder and a cigarette between your lips.

Warren: Y/N was a total rockstar from the beginning. And the way she carried herself that night, man, she was the most attractive woman I had ever seen.

“So are we ready to get this show on the road? I’ve been working on the sheets that Graham gave me yesterday.” You said as you entered the small room where all the boys were already tuning up and Warren was playing a random rhythm on the drums.

“We’re opening for the Winters in two days. Make sure you aren’t still ‘working’ on those sheets.”

“Sir, yes, sir.” You gave him a little salute whilst rolling your eyes which learned a few laughs from the group and a frown from Billy.

“Whatever, let’s just get this going.”

Graham: Billy was an asshole when he first met Y/N. Similar to how he was with Daisy, but he knew we needed her.

Eddie: Y/N handled Billy better than I think anyone ever has. She met his challenges with blunt sarcasm and humor. Anyone who could deal with his bullshit made an instant friend with me.

Warren: I don’t think she knew how hot I found her at that moment.

Y/N: I knew. I mean I had been harboring a little crush on Warren since middle school. I wanted to impress him and I would say I succeeded.

Warren: She had a crush on me in MIDDLE SCHOOL? If I had known that it would have made things a hell of a lot easier.

Y/N: Fast-forward two days, came the night that changed everything. I mean my first gig was the time we opened for the Winters. My fingers were cramping and I had a horrible backache from the amount of practice I had been doing. On a plus side I got to meet Camila. She was just… incredible. God knows that Billy doesn’t deserve that wonderful woman at all.

You were running on a total of 2 hours of sleep. The past two nights had been spent practicing the pieces over and over again by yourself. And then the days were filled with practice with the boys. The band needed this to be perfect and you understood the weight of that completely. You were a rockstar. You were meant for this. At least that’s what you kept telling yourself as you walked into the performing area, staring wide eyed at the space.

Y/N: All I was thinking was: “You better not fuck this up.” That was the night we also met Karen. Karen Karen, my soon to be best friend. She was the keyboardist for The Winters and let’s just say Graham fell in love at first sight.

Right before we were about to go on stage a sudden crushing feeling started to encompass your chest. You were actually going to do this. Oh fuck.

Warren: I could tell she was having a freakout. I mean if it was my first time playing with a new band AND I had only had 2 days to practice I would have been hyperventilating. So I went up to her.

“What’s your favorite fruit?” That silky voice brought you out of your spiral with the most absurd question that had ever been uttered.

“Uh what?”

“What’s your favorite fruit? Mine personally are strawberries.”

“Oh umm I don’t know, I kind of like Y/F/F (your favorite fruit).”

“Cool, you good?” That was when you realized what he had done. You sent Warren a blinding smile and leaned to give him a quick peck on the cheek.

“Yeah thanks I owe you one.”

Warren: Call me a sap or whatever but I can still feel that kiss. I treasured that for a long time. Anyways, she was incredible that night.

Y/N: There was like this electrifying feeling of being on stage and playing to all those people. I wanted to feel like that forever. Maybe it was also pure exhaustion but I swear it felt like I was on a high.

Billy: She played really well, I mean for a person who had two days of practice.

Y/N: We met Rod Reyes after our set. The man was a douchebag but he planted that LA dream in all of us. I was probably too exhausted to have been making decisions of that kind but…

“If you all will have me, I say fuck it let’s go to LA!”

“Let’s go to LA!”

Y/N: None of us stayed for the Camila and Billy drama, so Warren dropped me off last. We smoked weed for a while. We talked about all that weird philosophical shit that you talk about when high. Then I crashed for a few hours.

It was raining buckets. You pulled up in your dad’s car outside of Warren’s house. You had those weirdly unattached parents who really didn’t give a damn about what you did. They already had their hopes pinned on your older brothers so when you asked if you could move to LA, your parents couldn’t have helped you pack up faster.

“Bye dad.”

“Bye sweetheart. Don’t forget your bass.” He gave you an uncomfortable hug before passing your last suitcase filled with small remnants of your life.

“Hey Mr. L/N. I can take that.”

“Thanks Graham.” He quickly put up your few suitcases on the roof and you waved at your dad as he disappeared into the blankets of rain.

“Ready?”

“Definitely.” Warren helped you into the van and you got situated in a comfortable spot. You lit up one of your cigarettes and opened up the pages of your slightly damp book, waiting for a while until finally everything seemed ready to go. Well not everything.

“Got room for one more?” Camila got into the van and sent you a little smile before cosying up next to Billy.

Y/N: That road trip was one of those things that was both horrible and incredible at the same time. But when we got to LA man wow it was like we were transported and then we met Rod Reyes, again. He was such an asshole but at least we finally had some gigs lined up and a house, but calling it that might actually be a bit generous.

Warren: Graham insisted we kept the haunted room for Karen. And obviously Billy and Camila got a room. Which meant Y/N was either stuck on the couch or rooming with one of us. And… Graham and Eddie already called the bunks.

“This is so fucking unfair! Why does your non-existent girlfriend get a room and I don’t?”

“She’s not my girlfriend!”

“Fuck you Graham. Where the fuck am I meant to sleep then huh?”

“Uh well Eddie and I are sharing the bunks.”

Y/N: It was like a really bad romance movie.

“You have got to be kidding me! Did any of you even think to count the rooms in this house?”

“Guys just shut the fuck up. Y/N you’re going to sleep in Warren’s room and that’s final. You’re all acting like children.”

Y/N: That was also one of the many times that Camila basically acted like our mother, in a good way.

“You know what, fine! I hope you’re happy Graham.” You said as you slammed the door to your new room and unpacked in a furious hurry.

Warren: There was a king sized bed that took up basically the entirety of our room. Honestly it was one of the worst rooms in the house, but at least it wasn’t haunted!

Y/N: Warren wanted to take the floor but if you saw that room you would know that the floor basically consisted of like a slab of wood. The closet and the bed took up the entire space and then there was this huge window. It didn’t even have curtains! Whoever designed that room was an idiot. But we didn’t have the money for anything else.

Warren: I tried to be a gentleman about it but like I would never have been able to sleep on the floor and I wasn’t sleeping outside.

Y/N: Not going to lie after that first night I was kind of grateful to Graham. Don’t tell him I said that though. Anyways we played so many gigs and were getting nowhere. And we were slowly running out of money. Oh and Karen did end up joining the band and she got the room.

You were all seated in some random diner with Camila counting out all the money you had gotten from gigs and your little part-time job working at a movie theater. On your side of the table sat Karen, Warren, you and then Eddie.

“Why are we still called the Dunne brothers, anyway?” That ended up sparking up a rather loud discussion of our side of the table against Billy. You rolled your eyes and leaned your head on Warren’s shoulder. You could see his stupid smile as he looked down at you so you just poked him in the ribs and he laughed.

“I for one am for changing the name.” You said as you took a drag of your cigarette, adding to the already thick cloud of smoke that surrounded the band.

“You see, Billy, basically the entire band is against you on this one.”

“No, no. The band name is what gives us credibility if we change it then all of our reputation goes out of the window.”

“Oh our Pittsburgh reputation really? Or maybe the reputation of not being able to get good gigs.” You barked back at the already angry man which made Eddie send you a grateful smile.

Then came the barrage of horrible name ideas, including one from Warren that made you look up at him from his shoulder in confusion and slight disgust.

“Look okay, the seven of us will never agree on the name.” That’s when it came to you.

“What about The Six?”

“Huh?” Everyone turned to you as you sat up and took a sip of Warren’s coffee.

“I mean no offense Camila but you aren’t technically part of the band so there’s six of us. We can be called The Six. The Five is used too much and The Seven sounds like way too many members so how about The Six?”

“You know what, I like it.”

“Me too.”

Y/N: So we had a shiny new band name, my relationship with Warren had gone from band mates to really good friends. And no I don’t mean that in an innuendo way but you get really close to someone you have to share a bed with every night. We had some good nights.

Warren: I always thought that Y/N would end up moving in with Karen after she joined but she didn’t. I think she knew that that room was haunted.

“So who do you think the most attractive person in the band is?” You and Warren were lying on the bed in a drug addled haze after taking some mushrooms he had gotten from one of his hippie friends.

“Huh?” You sluggishly turned to look at his face, finding that his eyes were already on you.

“Who do you think is the most attractive in the band?”

“Hmm I don’t know.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I mean Graham and Billy aren’t my type. Eddie is hopelessly in love with Camila-”

“Wait what?”

“Dude are you blind?”

“No? I mean I know Graham likes Karen but she doesn’t like him.”

“That is like the most obvious observation I have ever heard.”

“Hey! So that just leaves… Camila, Karen and me. Wait, is Camila the person who you find most attractive? I’m not judging if she is.”

“I can’t lie she’s really pretty and Karen is absolutely stunning but no not the person I find most attractive.”

“Me?”

“Yes dumbass. Now it’s your turn to answer the question.”

“Oh that’s easy, you obviously.” You smiled bashfully at him as his mischievous smirk grew.

“You are too charming for your own good.”

“I could say the same thing about you.” That was when you both fell silent. Maybe it was the confidence the drugs gave you but you quickly gave him a kiss before backing away.

“You like me back?”

“Obviously you dumbass, I've liked you for ages. Why do you think I’ve been cuddling with you for the past few months? I don’t do that with every single person I know.”

“I don’t know.”

“Just shut up and kiss me again.”

Y/N: As I said, a really cheesy romance movie. But I found Warren and we fit like puzzle pieces.

Warren: We were high on shrooms when she kissed me. We didn’t do much else that night, other than kissing and then sleeping.

Y/N: I may have loved Warren but we weren’t sleeping together until I knew he was serious. I had seen him with the small amount of groupies that we had. I’m not a jealous woman but that right there boiled my very core.

Warren: I stopped hanging out with the groupies after that night. Y/N became the light of my life, I wasn’t going to ruin the only good thing going for me that wasn’t the band.

Y/N: Then Billy convinced Teddy Price to listen to one of our songs. I have no idea how he did it. The next few months after that song were the most anxiety I had ever experienced but they were also the happiest. I was doing what I loved and I was doing it with the person I loved. Then we got to record the album.

Karen: Y/N and Warren went official a few weeks before we got the album deal. They were the most obnoxiously cute couple I had ever been around. And they complemented each other incredibly well.

Graham: Honestly I take it as full credit to my genius that those two first got together.

Camila: Oh Y/N and Warren… god they were one of those strangely healthy couples. They were living the life, they had each other, the band and the drugs. They were insanely happy together.

Y/N: We were going to go on tour! That was huge for us and for me. A few days before we went though, Camila told us she was pregnant. They got married that night.

Warren: The wedding? Oh I don’t remember it that much. Mescaline… well it’s a powerful drug.

Y/N: Did Warren tell you we were on mescaline the entire night? Yeah. God, I wish I had been more present in that moment but we truly were having the time of our lives. Camila being pregnant also put things into perspective for us. Protection wasn’t a big thing in the 70s but I had been taking birth control after I read a few books. I wasn’t taking any chances.

Warren: Yeah we had a deep discussion about that. I think that was one of the many times where I realized how shit it was to be a woman of that time. I supported whatever she wanted to do fully.

Y/N: We went on tour. It was fine. Billy was an asshole but he went off the rails. I mean Warren and I were a bit out of control cause you know… fame. But Billy, he went hard on all the drugs and the groupies.

Warren: We were there to have a good time but I also recognized something in Billy that I never wanted to be. I stayed away from the hard drugs and sure we hung out with groupies but I would never betray Y/N like that.

Y/N: Then Camila arrived, heavily pregnant and she found Billy getting it on with some groupie. Fuck, I really tried to call her but you never want to hurt someone like that you know. Fast forward a few shows and well we found out Camila had given birth. Teddy put Billy in a rehab center. We cut the tour short and that fucked it up with the label. I think it also made me realize how incredibly lucky I was to have found Warren.

Warren: The next few months the band was idle. Y/N and I did a ton of mushrooms and we helped babysit Julia. It was actually really nice and domestic.

Y/N: I was bored out of my mind. I wasn’t suited for an idle lifestyle. When Billy decided to stop being an idiot and rejoined the band, things finally started to look up. And then we all met Daisy Jones.

“Why can’t we just have Karen or Y/N sing this stuff? If you want an edge we have that already.”

“Oh no way, Billy. I don’t sing, I’ll help with backing but that’s it.” You said as you stamped out your cigarette on the tray.

“I’m with Y/N. Plus I agree with Teddy, it will give us a new sound.” Billy stormed out of the room at that leaving you and the rest of the band to chuckle at his dramatics.

Y/N: We were all enraptured with her when she first walked into the studio. She was wearing a button down shirt and no pants. That made one hell of an entrance. And of course, Billy wasn’t pleased.

“Hi nice to meet you Daisy. I’m Y/N.” You said as she walked into the recording studio while Warren’s arm was secured around your shoulders.

“You too. Thank you all for having me.”

“You’re welcome.” Graham answered.

“Okay, let’s get this show on the road.” You and the rest of the band left the room and went into the production booth.

Y/N: She was incredible. Even if she did try to change up Billy’s song. Personally I always liked her version. After that recording session it all kind of blew up. Billy wanted to keep the song as it was and obviously he did that until Daisy showed up to one of our shows at The Whisky. We then headed out to our world tour, The Numbers tour as it was dubbed featuring Daisy Jones.

Warren: We were making money, a ton of money at that. Sold out shows everywhere we went.

Y/N: I’m pretty sure that was the tour that Karen and Graham started hooking up. Warren didn’t believe me, he had his own theories. Like he thought Bones, our lighting guy… *cue you breaking out into laughter*, sorry sorry, but geez yeah Warren was honestly the most clueless guy I had ever met and I loved him for it. Then came the show for Rolling Stone, that was an incredible show but Eddie… that man had basically become my brother at that point. What Billy did was one of the worst things he could have ever done to him.

Eddie: I couldn’t take it anymore so I had to do something.

Y/N: I understood why he smashed that guitar. I would have done the same thing. But my bass was also something I had basically built all by myself. I wasn’t going to hurt my baby.

After all of the drama, you quickly made your way over to Eddie before Jonah Berg came down. A cup of water in hand and a cigarette dangling from your lips.

“Ed?” You walked up next to your best friend and gave him a little shoulder nudge.

“Oh hey Y/N.” His voice sounded thick with underlying rage. One that you recognized all too well.

“I’m really fucking sorry.” And you wrapped your arms around his shoulders and pulled him into a hug.

Y/N: When you spend a long time around someone you kind of learn their tells. Warren and I were incredibly good at reading each other. And I was just incredibly similar to Eddie, so I knew how to help him… we both have really horrible tempers. Warren and the drugs had been helping but Eddie didn’t have a Warren.

Eddie: What Y/N did after that show… she knew I didn’t want to talk about it. She became my sister at that moment.

Y/N: I think Warren and I should have probably stopped Daisy. But we were sort of mooching off her stash. We promised each other to not go on the hard stuff but I think I was getting addicted.

Warren: Drugs were a normal thing in the 70s and we were having fun! But yeah I was feeling like I was starting to depend on pills.

Y/N: I was getting sloppy with my playing so I knew I needed to start weaning myself off it. We didn’t know much about addiction back then so it was hard to stop but we did the best we could. Well for one thing we didn’t go cold turkey.

Warren: When she told me, I understood her completely, I was feeling the effects of it too. We kind of talked through it a bunch and decided we should probably lay off the heavier psychedelics. Being rockstars meant you were down to have fun but if she wasn’t happy then I was going to try and remedy that.

Eddie: I think after the whole Glasgow thing I saw Y/N become more level headed. The same with Warren. I think they made some decision to get like moderately clean. They were still smoking pot and stuff but stopped with the pills and harder stuff.

Karen: I swear I thought they were either trying to get pregnant or Y/N already was. The fact that after that Rolling Stone interview they suddenly stopped taking anything stronger than weed is probably what made me suspicious.

Y/N: I ended up sitting next to Eddie for most of the flight back, leaving Warren to sleep. I think we were the only two band members that weren’t consulted about Daisy, but I honestly didn’t give a damn. It was nice to have another girl around and… I was probably feeling the withdrawal.

Warren: When we got back to LA, I bought a one-bedroom Gibson.

Y/N: Warren bought a boat and I bought a little house which has a boat dock, it was kind of like a perfect compromise.

Warren: I kept my boat mostly at Y/N’s house but we occasionally went on little trips. Mostly we drank beers on it and spent nights at the house. Y/N took up sports for some reason but I wasn’t going to complain, she looked hot.

Y/N: Yeah, I took up surfing, boxing and got into soccer. I was still practicing bass daily but without the band getting together much that summer, Warren and I kind of just did whatever. We smoked a lot of weed too. We were moderately clean and we were happy but I think deep down we missed life on the road.

Warren: Neither of us were ones for settling down. That’s probably why Y/N got into sports and I bought that boat. Oh and Eddie was around a lot. At first I thought he was trying to get into Y/N’s pants or something but they have this weird bond that reminded me of how my sisters and I acted.

Eddie: I visited Y/N and Warren A LOT. I don’t think they minded me being there, I basically took up permanent residence in Y/N’s spare bedroom. Y/N and I actually wrote a lot of songs during those days and we both got into surfing. And the LA surf scene was something else but I was itching for the road and they were too. So when the call came in from Graham we were all ready to leave.

Y/N: We got together in The Rainbow and that’s where everyone just started to talk about everything and what parts they wanted to play. I mean I was already writing my bass lines so I was fine in that department. Warren and I mostly stayed out of the conversation, just smoking and making little jokes.

Graham: I think this was one of the only times that Y/N was completely silent around Billy. I mean Warren and her had always been pretty independent but they seemed like they were in their own little world. Well that was at least until Eddie stepped in.

“Look I don’t want us to turn into some kind of pop group dynamic.”

“You know what I agree with Eddie.”

“Oh so you’re finally going to talk.”

“What the hell?! I didn’t have anything to contribute and was making it easier for you and now you’re getting mad at me for actually pitching in?”

Billy: Y/N and Eddie hated me. I don’t know what I ever did to them but they got on my nerves constantly.

Daisy: Y/N was a spitfire. Eddie and her kind of had this team dynamic that was based on ganging up on Billy. Not that he didn’t deserve it but there was always underlying tension.

Y/N: I never hated Billy. He just wasn’t someone I particularly liked. He thought the world revolved around him and he loved trying to be the boss. He never once listened to my ideas, even if I had been there from basically the beginning. Eddie and I were just getting fed up.

“Okay, everyone just calm down. Billy, Eddie does have a point.” Teddy Price was always the peacemaker in these things. You scoffed and leaned in closer to Warren who had taken to rubbing circles on your arm to calm you.

Y/N: We walked out of there with a new name: Daisy Jones & The Six. I guess you can call that the beginning of the end. While Daisy and Billy went off to compose, the rest of us worked on Aurora together. By the time we were going to play it for Billy I think it sounded pretty incredible but… he hated it. You could see the revulsion on his face but Teddy convinced him to keep it. Oh but Daisy loved it! I knew I liked her for a reason.

Warren: Daisy got on really well with Y/N and I during the entire time we made Aurora. We had that easy way of suggesting things for each other and giving feedback that we all followed.

Daisy: I wish I had a relationship like those two. They respected the other person in a way I had never seen before and they were so hopelessly in love with each other. I knew it was only a short time before they would get married. I was honestly jealous of what they had.

Y/N: I never went to one of Daisy’s infamous parties. Not because I didn’t want to but because I was happier. Which sounds really fucked up cause everyone else wasn’t doing that great around that time. I think the fact that I stopped taking drugs helped A LOT. Warren and I were enjoying life so you know we obviously took the next step. We got married.

Warren: We didn’t tell anyone we were getting married. And no one really knew until the band broke up.

Y/N: We got married in a little chapel on this hill near Long Beach. I refused to do a Vegas wedding even if we were eloping.

Warren: She was insanely beautiful that day. We both showed up in pretty casual wedding clothes.

Y/N: I was wearing a long sleeve all-white prairie dress that I had bought the day we decided to do it. It wasn’t my style at all.

Warren: We spent our honeymoon at our little house. And we didn’t answer the phone for like a solid four days. Good times.

Y/N: The band was freaking out by the time we came back to rehearsals on thursday. They thought we died or something.

Eddie: We thought they went on some kind of bender or disappeared into the horizon with Warren’s boat but no they arrived on thursday with these huge smiles and a new car.

Y/N: We extended the honeymoon after the band broke up. We went to Hawaii with Warren’s boat. I don’t think that was safe but we did it anyway.

Warren: Oh, the car. Did Eddie mention that? Yeah we put some of our money together and bought an Aston Martin. You know the James Bond car.

Y/N: We had some money left over from royalties and stuff so when we pooled it we had just enough to buy that car and start putting some more of it into retirement.

Warren: We still have that car. And we still live in that same house. And Y/N hasn’t made me sell the boat yet so we’re doing pretty good.

Interviewer: So how did the band react to you two getting married?

Y/N: Well, I told Eddie first. He obviously reacted as expected.

Eddie: I was happy for her but mad that she didn’t let me be at the wedding. Y/N made up for it though when she allowed me to officiate their vow renewal.

Graham: I found out a few weeks after the band broke up. I was obviously not doing well after all the Karen drama. But I went up to their house to see them and when I walked inside I saw the rings on their fingers and the rest is history. I got to be Warren’s best man at the vow renewal, I mean it was my entire genius that got them dating in the first place, it was the least they could do.

Karen: I knew when I met up with Y/N and Camila for drinks. She showed us the ring and honestly we were both very shocked.

Camila: I didn’t think she would go through with it but wow I couldn’t imagine a better match. When she asked us to be maids of honor for her wedding, I obviously accepted.

Daisy: I didn’t go to the vow renewal. Being around Billy was going to be a trigger and I knew that. But I still meet up with them a lot. Their kids love being around mine.

Billy: Yeah I was happy for them, sure. Camila told me after they went out for dinner I think.

Y/N and Warren Rojas live in that small house on the coast of LA with their three kids, Lily, Vivienne (Viv for short) and Javier. Y/N went on to be the bassist for many well-known artists like Kate Bush, Billy Idol and even worked with members of the Beatles. They are currently celebrating their 20 year anniversary, which was marked by a vow renewal a few months ago.

this is very much self indulgent - i will be writing a bunch of angst next so prepare yourselves.

taglist: @pinkdaiisies @yesshewrites1 @lisbeth122605

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bloodyjuls-blog · 6 months

Text

Goodbye my lover

Leah Williamson X Reader (y/n)

I suggest to listen to this song: goodbye my lover by James Blunt.

⚠️Warning ⚠️ Angst, sad. The baby's picture makes sense but it's not related to sadness story with the baby.

"Y/n this can't continue like this, things have changed a lot and I think the best thing for us is to get divorced"... Leah said very seriously while y/n's tears began to form around her eyes.

"If that's what you want, that's fine, but let it be clear that I wanted to fight against everything and be able to make you and the little one happy" I said between sobs. To tell the truth, my mental health was in shit, in the deepest hole, and the fact that I now have to go through a divorce makes it much worse. What worries me most lately is my physical health has also worsened and Leah's anger towards me makes our friends hate me, not to mention my job at the club. It is more than logical that I will not be able to continue there.

Flashback

"Hey y/n, I want to talk to you about something, please come with me to the office," Jonas says calmly, like always. Once in the office "what I wanted to tell you is that as a club we are not going to tolerate any type of bad behavior not only at the level of colleagues and even less tolerate how you emotionally affect Leah and your son, we understand that you are going through hard times but I insist, Your behavior has bothered the management, and much to my regret I have to tell you that we no longer want you to be part of this squad, we wish you luck in everything and you have today to take your things. Regarding your settlement, you will be effective in a couple of weeks with the respective compensation" says Jonas seriously. "But Jonas, my personal things here have nothing to do with it," I said, a little shocked because I didn't feel like there was a logical reason to kick me out. I got ready to pick up my things while the girls were at the gym and I went home.

What a bad taste all that had left in my mouth. Once at home, I sit on the couch and watch any boring series while it's dinner time. I know Leah is having dinner with Lia while I talk to my agent about what happened.

Hours later Leah arrives with the little one and I smiled when I saw him, so beautiful and he is only 3 months old. My little one. I reached out to pick up the child. "Leah, I assume you know what happened today?" I commented to her, a little upset but hiding it because of the baby. "Yes, I made the suggestion and I don't regret it," she says, super annoyed. "But why did you do it?" I say a bit borderline. "Your life is getting out of your hands and you're not doing anything, this can't go on like this, I don't even want to see you in this house anymore. You know what? take your things and leave. Don't come back, eveeeer..."

End of the flashback

And here I am, in a park with the car parked while I think about what I'm going to do considering that she didn't even let me take out a coat or my wallet and my cell phone is about to turn off. While my mind was assimilating what was happening to me, I felt a very strong pain in my chest but I deduced that it was due to the stress of the situation. "When I thought I had it all, I ended up ruining it" "I'm worthless" "I couldn't take care of my family" "I'm sure she has someone else" "Will I ever see my child again?" "Arsenal realized that I was a failure as a footballer and decided to kick me out" "where will I go if I don't have anyone" "the girls at the club surely bow down to the captain" and more thoughts circulated through my mind as I cried and was consumed by the cold. It was clear that Leah's car had the best heating.

I decided to take the reins and go to a hotel and that has been 3 months ago. I can't stop thinking about how everyone is doing, the child, my wife or well, ex-wife, Amanda, Jacob, and all the people I appreciate even though they don't like me right now. I see my name in trashy magazines, that I take drugs, that I'm a slut, a drunk, etc. And the truth is that my behavior is erratic because most times during the day I am overthinking and I am attacked by remorse that leaves me at my lowest and so asleep. As if she were gone. I get a message from Leah...

My all and more <3

Y/n I need you to come home so I can serve you with the divorce papers so we can decide custody of the child.

I read the message with great sadness because that was not what I wanted for my little one. I have always idealized a happy family with everything it implies. How wrong I was.

I head to Leah's house and see a car in the garage that I've never seen before, nor did it belong to any girl at the club.

I rang the bell and a girl comes out with Sage in her arms "hello, good, eh, is Leah here?" "Are you the babysitter?" I ask timidly and softly. "No, you must be y/n her ex-wife?" "My pleasure, I'm Sophie, Leah's new partner, come into the living room and she'll come down," she tells me, between annoyed and angry. I head to the living room of what was once my home. "Hey Sophie, can I hold Sage?" She said calmly. "Of course not, Leah has given me orders not to do it" she tells me a little harshly. "Leah what?" "Girl, I'm the little one's mother and I have the same rights as her, you're crazy, let me take the little one please" "no y/n, you don't understand" and she goes with the baby to the second floor.

Leah comes down and looks quite upset.

"Hello y/n, as I told you in the message, here are the documents, sign them and you are free, what do you think about custody?" She says so calmly and taciturnly that it seems strange to me. I feel dizzy and with the same incessant pain in my chest, I want this to end now "whatever you think is appropriate, in the end you are the one who lives with him, but I want to see the baby" I said seriously. "You're not going to see it, and I think you should give me full custody, since I see that you don't even have a job, there's no point in being the perfect mom when you haven't even been able to maintain that," she tells me angrily. I feel more dizzy than before "You're absolutely right, apparently the baby wants a lot of Sophie and I'm no longer relevant to this family" I said a little hurt by the whole situation. "I'm going to let you see the baby today while you sign everything and then you forget about us," Leah says as she calls Sophie. Once I have Sage in my arms, I pamper him, give him kisses, hugs and gestures of love that will never come back. While I'm with the little one I feel like I'm slowly running out of air but I play dumb so I don't have to leave and raise suspicions about what's happening. The only person who knows is Lucy and Ona for obvious reasons. "Leah, can you bring me a glass of water please?" I said very slowly so she wouldn't notice my body discomfort. When she approaches with the glass I prepare to take it and she tells me in a worried tone "you look a little pale, are you okay?" "Yes, of course, I'm just a little tired, this child is very big and doesn't stop" "It's been a while since he was just born, I can't believe it" I say between nostalgia, sadness, concern for everything that is happening to me. "Oh okay" Leah tells me very calmly.

I feel a very strong puncture on the left side of my body, in my arm exactly. And the most sensible decision I make is to hand the child to Leah and prepare to leave. "Well Leah, it's time to go. I want you to know that you are doing very well as a mother. I know that the child will have a good education and upbringing. I would have liked to be a part of everything a little more but hey, that's life. And I hope you forgive me for not being enough. I know I never was. I hope with all my heart that your plans work out for you and you can be everything you set out to be" I say with labored breathing, tears but mostly because of the pain in the chest and arm that makes it impossible for me to stay upright. "It's a shame that everything ended like this, thank you for signing and for thinking about the little one's well-being," she says happily, as if he had lifted a weight off her shoulders. At that moment I noticed the hindrance I was causing to her. Not even 3 months and she had already found another one. I thought that while I moved my left arm and wrist to see if the pain would go away a little, nothing. I get up and go to the baby, I give him a kiss and wipe the tears from my eyes, I try to appear calm that I don't have inside.

And that's when the puncture makes me double over, but I try to hide it while I get in the car to head to my hotel. Which I can't because once I'm sitting behind the wheel I get more punctures in my heart and my breathing decreases drastically. For me it could have been an hour or five, the truth is I wasn't paying attention. What is true is that when I finally manage to get going, my heart feels strange, I was sweating as if I had played 90 more games, I felt tight, everything was burning. My neck, my back, my head, everything hurt and I was spinning. I felt strange, like I was in another body, my body is generally healthy. What was the purpose of all this, having depression, getting divorced, losing my son, my wife, missing the baby's first months, where he doesn't even consider me his mother. Losing my job, my friends, my club, my football. I couldn't take it anymore. I don't know how but I managed to get to the hotel and I feel like I'm on the verge of something strong, my heart hurts too much and not just because of the losses, physically too. And a lot. I'm starting to notice that my back is falling asleep, my arms feel weak. I decided to call the only person who knows what to do "come on Lucy, answer gal, damn it" I say to myself when I see that she doesn't answer me. I look at the clock and see the time is 3 in the morning. I know I'm having a massive heart attack but I can't do anything, I can't move. I call Leah and she answers me super angry "what do you want y/n?" "I wanted to hear your voice one last time, I'm sorry things ended like this, I wish you the best" I said, choked by pain. "You look strange, are you on drugs or something?" She says upset. "No, no. Forget it, I shouldn't have called you, it might be too late (not referring the hour but the life)" I said in a small voice. And I hung up and turned off the phone. I lay flat on the bed and fell unconscious with the only memory of an angry Leah and a wasted life.

#woso #lionesses #woso x reader #woso imagines #woso imagine #england lionesses #leah williamson x reader #leah williamson imagine #leah williamson #arsenal women

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creepy-friday · 1 year

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Ok ok hear me out 👀

What if, instead of fem! Proxy, we got a fem! Human maid 👀👀👀

Like the Slenderman chose her to take care of the mansions needs such as: cleanliness, general functioning (like electrical management, house repair, etc...), food management, etc...

But she isn't a demon nor proxy, but a human dragged into this life (The Operator is a cruel silly guy)

The Proxies have to watch over her so other residents don't mess with her, and also so she doesn't run away.

THE POWER DYNAMIC WOULD BE THROUGH THE ROOF 😭

YOU'RE BACK<3 this prompt is interesting ngl👀👀 I included more characters for the spice

Creepypasta x Maid!Reader

Characters Included: Proxy focused

Warnings: suggestive/NSFW themes,non-con/dub-con mentions,violence,misogyny,drugs and mental illness references

The difference between the power dynamics between you and the other residents are catastrophically huge

Once Slenderman took you in,he made sure that you understand what your role is from the start.It was a cruel time for him to make the decision to bring an innocent human in a manor full of deranged people,but in his mind he took the right decision

The first sick people who viewed you as a fuck toy would be Masky and Jeff

Since you're in the care of proxies,you are somwhat lucky,the others would mostly keep their hands to themselves

Maybe except Ben who has no restrictions by being a literal ghost,so I can totally see him messing with you for a while

The fact that you are a maid might give the others the opportunity to discover a new kink btw

Masky would slap your ass as you clean the windows "good job,get that body moving"

He's a whiny little bitch.He would scream at you if you missed a spot,if you were late to cook dinner by a minute or if he simply needs your assistance with whatever bullshit he makes up

He even called you to prepare him a bath and harassed you in the bathroom,even threating to drown you for his sick entertainment

The way you look up to him makes his dick hard,he doesn't care if the others find gross that he gets off on the power imbalance,he feels good about it

The only good thing he does is not letting the others fuck with you it doesn't apply to Hoodie

Sure,he might threaten to punish you by letting Jeff has his way with you,but we all know his pride won't let him to let you get fucked by another man yeah,once more,it doesn't apply to Hoodie

Right after a bloody mission he would bring you to his room and make you suck him off "How's it feel to have the dirty work done?Right where you belong"

Washing the blood off of their clothes it's a nightmare.Sometimes,the white masked man would try to scare you by saying all the messed up things he did to get them this red

Toby was happy he can look after a girl ngl.After seeing how scared and lost you are,he decided to make himself your safe space

But even then,he saw you as an opportunity to break himself into,it was a selfish tought,but he really craved to be your "knight in shining armor"

He actually started to stand his ground whenever Masky would start to harass him in front of you,and even if he would get beat up and would shame retreat in his shell for a few days,this boy doesn't give up

I can see him letting you escape in the forest if you pull the right strings,but the fear of what Slenderman would do to both yourself and him made Toby to get you back crying

INSTEAD,he goes on walks with you in the forest whenever you are free,just to give you that false sense of freedom

Even if it's just your job to clean,cook and do household chores,he views them as more intimate and might get romantic feelings towards you he has no self respect

Hoodie would play a lot of mind games with you,sometimes he would make you think he's your ally,sometimes he would give the impression that he's just another wolf from the hungry pack

He actually let you run free in the forest for a few minutes and waited for you to get your hopes up until he would show up from behind and get you back

"Gothca" he said,tackling you to the ground as one of his hands rested on your waist and the other one on the back of your head "let's get you back,shall we?awwwh,don't cry now,you know I wouldn't hurt you!Now I can't say the same about the others if they knew you got this far..so let's keep this between the two of us,what do ya' say?"

The son of a bitch would also blackmail you into having sex with him so that he can "protect you" or so that "he wouldn't snitch about your plans of running away"

Even if your plans would be top tier,he would know about them and would make sure to tear them down as slow as the light in your eyes fade away

If you're feisty he wouldn't feel the need to fight with you,but would rather keep him interested into bringing you down

But if you're on the docile side he would still take it as a challenge to himself,to see in how much time he can make you his loyal puppy

The manor is huge,four floors with large windows where a lot of dust piles up,especially on the inhibited last floor where The Operator works

I can see Masky making you work naked at a busy hour of the day, just for his fucked up entertainment,throwing some nasty comments while burning cigarette buts on your soft skin

EJ would watch from a distance,mercy and guilt piling up in his chest.Altough he doesn't see you as prey,he would certainly think of you as a safe resort to call when his heats/bloodlust appears

Jane would nod her head and advert her eyes,often even asking you if you're okay,just trying to make you feel..a little cared for

Natalie would argue a lot about you with Masky,but after all she's just a resident and Tim is still a proxy at the end of the day.She can't do anything about it.

All in all,your life in the mansion would be assured to be a long one,and depending on your behaviour you can make it a less traumatizing pressuring experience

#creepypasta x reader #creepypasta headcanons #creepypasta #headcanons #y/n #tim wright #tim wright x reader #brian thomas #brian thomas x reader #brian x reader #masky x reader #hoodie x reader #toby x reader #marble hornets #jeff the killer #jane the killer #clockwork #ben drowned #creepypasta scenarios

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the-adventures-of-dave · 1 year

Note

im not saying this to come at you, as a bengal owner myself (though i do not plan to purchase any more of them), but aren’t there issues of ethicality surrounding the bengal breed as well, because of their wild cat blood? in particular ive heard stories from vets online regarding the fact that they do not handle visits the way fully domestic animals do and can be dangerous as a result. i see this in my own bengal as well despite his coming from a reliable and reputable breeder and regularly receiving comments from vets that he is very well behaved for the breed. despite being generations down, the wild blood has a clear effect on how well he handles shots, flea treatments, etc. however, outside of vets, very few people seem to actually discuss this matter in relation to the breed. i had personally not even thought about it until i saw them compared to wolfdogs, so i thought to bring it up to you in case you were the same.

Hey there anon, it's no trouble at all! I'll split this into two parts. It's gonna be a long one, so take a look under the cut for my answers (and a very cute photo of Kep).

The question about aggression is interesting to me, as I've never actually heard of bengal-specific aggression before. To vetblr and catblr, what are your experiences with bengal aggression? Do you find the breed leans one way or another?

On that note, let's look at aggression. Like I said, this ask is actually the first I've ever heard of bengal cats being aggressive! Of all the bengal owners I've talked to, both breeders and your average folk, none mentioned anything about human or cat aggression in bengals. As a high energy breed, bengals are known to be environmentally destructive when understimulated, but I can't find anything supported by science stating the breed is any more or less human/cat aggressive than your regular tabby. In talking to both my vet and acquaintances that work at vet clinics, they've all only had positive things to share about bengal personalities.

In my own F7 bengal experience Kepler is as sweet as a button, and even in high stress situations like parties or vet visits he is calm and friendly. He's never had issues with shots, ultrasounds, flea treatments, or handling from the vet. (Dave my domestic shorthair, on the other hand, needs multiple drugs including complete anesthetic to prevent him from hurting himself or veterinary staff, and has a greater history of aggressive behaviour). I actually purchased Kepler because the bengal personality seemed a lot safer and more consistent than adopting a dsh from the shelter and risking owning two aggressive cats.

(A photo of Kepler at the fear free vet, allowing them to lay him on his back for an ultrasound and urine collection.)

Regarding ethics, the issue most look to is the Wild x Domestic cross of the asian leopard cat and domestic shorthair. In the United States and other countries with lax animal welfare laws, poaching and private ownership of servals to create the Savannah breed is an ongoing issue, so it makes sense to want to apply the same logic to bengals.

The reason the cross is not an issue to me personally is that the bengal is considered a "closed breed" under the TICA and CFA, meaning that breeders can no longer register and show <F4 bengals or create new bengal bloodlines by outcrossing to the asian leopard cat. As of this change reputable registered bengals are considered a fully domestic cat and not a wild cross.

(The CFA breed standard stating no bengal can be outcrossed to asian leopard cats.)

This means that so long as you source your pet from a registered and reputable breeder, you are not contributing to the poaching or the unethical breeding of wild mixes. It's a fantastic inclusion, as it also actively discourages people from poaching, owning and breeding wildlife. It also makes it clear to potential cat owners like myself which breeders to avoid (ie. those that don't register or show their "bengals").

As an Albertan Canadian I also have further peace of mind as it is illegal for people in this province to own or import wildlife or wild mixes F4 or below, so there is no chance of getting a poached cat (or its offspring) unless I went to the black market or a particularly shady breeder.

Are there people in the United States and other countries that still cross domestics with ALCs? Most definitely. But I personally don't think that owning a cat that is;

Purchased from a reputable breeder;

Barred by law to be a recent outcross; and

Registered under a cat fancy that discourages outcrossing

actively supports modern poaching or unethical wildlife ownership. Cat fancy has taken steps to minimize the harm of bengal breeding and ownership on wildlife while still preserving a bit of cat history. Those steps are sufficient enough for me to be comfortable with it, and I hope that breeds like the savannah cat follow in their footsteps with a closed breed standard.

That being said, if the history of the bengal upsets you or is something that rubs you the wrong way, I wouldn't fault you for it. Wildlife and animal welfare is a bit of a tricky business, and it's not always black and white. Just make sure to do your research and be open to multiple opinions. I appreciate you reaching out to me, and I hope my own thoughts have given you something to think about, even if you don't agree. Cheers!

#long post #like super long #im so sorry lmao #thanks for the ask!#cat breeds #bengals #i love bengals #i could go on forever about bengals #bengals are the light of my life #(and dave too i also love him)#apologies if that sounded at all condescending that wasn't my intention #i just get really into talking about cats

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pinkcrocss · 2 months

Text

On Andre...

So, I've been picking up on a lot of negative feelings towards Andre within the fandom (some warranted, some unwarranted in my opinion). And I think it comes down to two things:

-Andre is probably one of the least developed of the core group in terms of writing.

-Andre's actor (Chance Perdomo) has some problematic views irl.

I want to focus on the first point however, cuz I'm interested in the character not the actor (Patrick Schwarzeneggar and Claudia Dumit also support Isreal, so I'm choosing to focus my feelings on characters, not the actors if I want to enjoy this show at all).

When I first watched Gen V (before the hyper fixation had kicked in), Chance's performance had been one of my least favourites. I didn't like the weird voice he was doing (turns out he was Brit doing a pretty decent attempt at an "American Jock" type accent) and I thought the actor kept doing a lot of awkward stammers and tics that didn't feel in line with the character (I assumed, that's just how the actor was irl). That is until I watched a cast interview and I learned 2 things:

He is a Brit.

He's actually a very smooth and clear speaker. Which means those mannerisms were an intentional choice by the actor.

Later, once the hyperfixation had truly set in, I was watching a boatload of cast interviews, when I caught a comment underneath one of those videos that totally changed my view of that character and performance during my 4th (maybe 5th) rewatch.

You know how each of the core group's abilities hurts them in some way and thus works as an allegory for some form of personal issue that they are overcoming? i.e.

Marie -> Cutting/Self Harm

Emma -> Eating Disorders

Cate -> Consent

Jordan -> Gender Identity/dysphoria

For a while, I don't really see how Andre's abilities could serve as an allegory for anything. like, yes later on we learn that his powers will cause him damage over time, but that kind of seemed ham-fisted at the last minute, and not really connected to his ability to bend metal.

But back to that one Youtube comment. I can't remember word for word the comment, but to paraphrase, essentially:

The commentor spoke about how they connected to Andre's character a lot because when they were in college, they had developed an auto-immune disease that essentially made them chronically ill.

They talked about being unable to keep up with their peers, while they were supposed to be in their prime physical years, and how much that taxed on their mental health. Constantly feeling left out, constantly self-medicating, and the chronic pain that they just had to grin and bear.

And as soon as I read that, everything I didn't quite understand/connect with in Andre's character suddenly made sense.

What is one of Andre's core personality traits in the group? He's the stoner.

From episode one, there's a scene of him doing drugs in every episode. Cate is constantly asking him if he's high... he's self medicating.

The slow way he talks, the constant blinking and squeezing his face (note the scene when he's yelling at Tek Knight, or after he takes that first hit from Sam, or after he stops the helicopter)... he's in pain.

So many tics and nuances in his behaviour that I initially wrote off, was actually a much more nuanced performance from Chance Perdomo.

And it all coalesces in that final scene when Andre is at Vought tower and learns of his dad's diagnosis. His powers are slowly killing him, making him weaker (like an auto-immune disease. the body attacking itself).

And the doctor asks him if he ever feels light-headed? has he noticed any uncontrollable tics? Andre is hesitant, almost like he's in denial. But you look back at his actions/behaviour throughout the show, and he's been showcasing both those things.

Finally, the scene with the helicopter. Where it's more or less confirmed that Andre's powers are doing to him, exactly what his dad's powers did. I've seen people very critical of that scene. Saying things like, Oh! He's all of a sudden being affected by the use of his powers, but we hadn't seen that previously (which I disagree) and how it seemed "too convenient".

But keep in mind, stopping a decelerating helicopter is the biggest feat of Andre's abilities we'd seen so far in the show. Of course it's going to take a bigger toll on him than all the other times (not to mention he was in pretty big emotional distress. His dad, Cate's betrayal, an attack on the school...). Stress exacerbates illnesses.

The other critique I've seen is, why are Andre's abilities having this affect now? He's supposed to be in his 20s, but his dad made it all the way to his 40s/50s before it was detected... and that's a fair question. I have some theories:

Like certain genetic illnesses, this issue is hereditary. It's not Impossible, that Andre just inherited a stronger ability than his father, and thus stronger blowback on himself.

Andre's chronic drug use might be a chicken or egg situation. Where maybe his chronic drug use exacerbated the damage his abilities were causing him, and as a result he started self-medicating with more drugs, causing a continues cycle of him increasing the damage to himself.

His dad has been shown to have a very stubborn personality (note how he refused to acknowledge when Andre revealed to him the damage their powers were causing them). Perhaps, he had started feeling the symptoms around the same age Andre had, but just kept ignoring it and pushing through up until he reached his limit in his 40s/50s.

Some other reason that writer's haven't revealed yet. The show has been renewed for a second season, and it's obvious these characters have been set up to be integral to the overarching storyline of the boys as a whole. It's entirely possible that there is more potential development for Andre's character in the future, and I think it's fair to give the writers leeway to explore that.

All in all, I just wanted to get my thoughts out about this, and maybe see how everyone else views Andre's character. He seems to be one of the least discussed in the core group, and I feel like his character has a lot of room for more development in the future if the writers approach it correctly.

#sorry for the rambling #I literally made this blog just so I can be insane about this show in peace #gen v #andre anderson #marie moreau #jordan li #emma meyer #cate dunlap #luke riordan

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fuckaperioddrama · 2 months

Text

Mattheo Riddle Headcanons

Author’s Note: Mattheo’s feels more angsty than my Theo headcanons. A bit of a different vibe all together, but I don’t think I mind it???

Proofread

Theodore Nott Headcanons

Lorenzo Berkshire Headcanons

Blaise Zabini Headcanons

Tom Riddle Headcanons

Draco Malfoy Headcanons

Regulus Black Headcanons

Masterlist

Minors DNI | 18+

—-

Mattheo Riddle | Physique

6’2 - 6’3 | Not super tall like Theo, but still tall

He’s on the buffer side. It’s not crazy, but it’s crazy?

He’s like the guy you look at and you don’t automatically think ‘Oh shit he’s buff’, but then you see him pick something heavy up and his muscles start to ripple and then his sleeves stretch and it’s like OH! You can’t help but stare in awe thinking about how his t-shirt isn’t the only thing that’s about to get STRETCHED

WE LOVE A MAN THAT LOOKS LIKE HE COULD TEAR US IN HALF!!! RESPECTFULLY!!!!!

He has abs, but they’re not super defined abs. Like morning abs and then he drinks some water and they're gone unless you're looking at him from a certain light.

He works out a little, but he mostly it's just Quidditch. He's someone who is naturally really strong and doesn't have to work at it.

I don’t think he has a resting mean face, I think he has a resting ‘ugh’ face. He doesn’t look angry he just looks annoyed. Until he is angry and then he looks like he’s about to fuck some shit up.

Hot. Like dangerously hot. So hot that he could ask you to rob a bank in broad daylight and you would just giggle and say

Yes, Matty

I DONT KNOW IF THAT MAKES SENSE BUT I FEEL LIKE MATTHEO HAS THE KIND OF HOTNESS ENERGY THAT MAKES YOU JUST CRUMBLE INSTANTLY IT’S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN TRY

HE JUST WALKS INTO A ROOM AND YOUR LEGS SPREAD WIDE OPEN

Mattheo Riddle | Personality

He’s an asshole, but the reviews are mixed.

It just depends on his mood. Sometimes people meet him when he’s in a good mood and they walk away thinking he’s kinda alright. Not too bad.

Sometimes they meet him when his Riddle side is really showing through and they think he's an absolute dick.

Some people just hate him to hate him and some people do not care about him in the slightest.

That being said, he has some mood swings.

He has a lot of moments where he zones out and starts overthinking things and then all of a sudden his mood is ruined. It seems sudden to others, but it makes sense to him.

He knows why he's upset, he just doesn't want to talk about it.

He just has a lot of emotions that he won’t ever show or talk about unless it’s the angry ones.

Speaking of, like Theo, he’s more of a fuck around and find out type of guy. I don't see him going out of his way to bully some random person.

However, he can be soooo obnoxious when he doesn’t like someone.

Yelling at them from across the hallway. Going out of his way to make this persons life miserable. He is so petty.

He also won’t shut up when he fights.

Theo is the type to go stone cold when he’s about to fuck someone up whereas Mattheo starts laughing to himself. I don’t know which one is scarier tbh.

Mattheo is constantly belittling the people he’s fighting

Are you fucking stupid? Did you really think you could win?

Try that shit again and watch what the fuck happens. You think this is bad?

FUCK YOU!! YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT! FUCK!

He says ‘fuck’ a lot.

But he is also a refined man. A man of the arts.

I’m hopping on the train that Matty likes to draw.

He draws people, nature, but mainly weird or random things. If he sees a bird with a weird looking beak he’s drawing it. A road sign that is beyond repair and you can barely make out what it says? Looks like art to him.

He’s smart, but he doesn’t apply himself. He does his work sometimes, but he really lacks motivation

He does enough to pass. Bare minimum.

He likes going out.

Something tells me that Mattheo just doesn’t like being alone.

I know this is controversial. Some people think he's more of a loner. I think he has this 'I don't need people' attitude, but in reality Matty just wants to feel wanted.

He likes chaos and being in high stress environments because it’s the only time he is able to live in the moment and not think about his past or future

A beater in Quidditch to help get some of those pent up feelings out.

Eats just straight junk food all the time. He's not a picky eater, but he's not touching that broccoli.

Smokes. At least a pack every 3-4 days.

He smokes weed too.

I think the whole group partakes in a little 'gardening' from time to time.

At parties he drinks more than he smokes and he gets FUCKED UP

I don't think he blacks out, but he's definitely beyond his limit.

Will not sit the fuck down. Ever. It annoys the boys so much.

Has problems keeping his train of thought too. Can not tell a story to save his life.

Mattheo Riddle | Casanova

Mattheo’s a whore, but he's a sad whore? | Me too, Matty. Me too.

Man just craves intimacy, but doesn't know that he craves actual intimacy and not just sex.

As I mentioned before, he does not like being alone so he has sex as a way to fill the void.

How he treats these women depends how he's feeling when he seeks them out.

Sometimes he's more horny than lonely

Other times he's more lonely than horny

If he's horny then he’s passionate

Ripping off clothes, throwing her onto his bed, manhandling her because he’s just so desperate

He’s switch, but his switch side hasn't been unlocked yet.

He's not letting some random person dominate him. Absolutely not.

So he's a Dom and he likes to throw in a bit of dirty talk from time to time.

Such a slut. You like being fucked like this?

You feel that? You feel me all the way in the back of your fucking throat? Oh, it’s too much? Too fucking bad.

Let daddy hear you scream

Yeah, he has a daddy kink.

MAN IS A FREAK.

BUT lonely whore Mattheo has a completely different energy.

If he found these women because he was lonely then he’s not into foreplay really. He’ll do a little to set the mood, but he’s just trying to fuck his way into feeling something in his cold, sad, numb heart.

If he’s SUPER lonely then he’ll even let them spend the night, but that's RARE because he hates dealing with them in the morning.

Not super vocal. Maybe a moan here. Groan there.

Mattheo as a whole? Afterwards?

Maybe he’ll flirt with them in the hallways, maybe he’ll walk passed them like nothing happened.

Maybe he caught some feelings? He might feel some lust towards them, but mostly he feels nothing. Regardless, you'll never be able to tell.

It’s always a guessing game with Mattheo Riddle.

Mattheo Riddle | Friend

Closest to Theodore and Draco.

I KNOW he’s not usually paired up as buddy buddy with Draco, but it just makes sense in my mind. They balance each other out.

He loves Theo because Theo makes it easy. He’s a breath of fresh air. They don’t talk about their super deep shit, but they acknowledge that it’s there and they give each other a shoulder to lean on. A mutual understanding of each other.

He loves Draco for the opposite reason. Nothing about their friendship is easy because all Draco does is nag him.

Draco always tries to push his aesthetic and fashion choices onto Mattheo. Tries. But Mattheo makes it very clear he won’t be another Malfoy minion.

What Mattheo does appreciate is when Draco guides him through his homework. Showing patience he didn’t know Draco was capable of.

When Draco bust into Mattheo’s room to get him up for Quidditch because Mattheo was out partying till who knows when.

When Draco hands him a buttered pastry and some water after Mattheo pukes his guts out from said partying.

Draco says it’s because he can’t have one of his star players incapacitated, but they both know it’s because Draco loves him too.

Definitely the ‘baby’ of the group. Mattheo is always in some sort of a mess.

And Draco is the mommy.

I feel like I’ve pinpointed a lot of Mattheo’s more immature moments, which?? In all fairness, really shines through with his friends.

But he also has a lot of emotional maturity as well.

He’s someone who would be attentive even if he definitely doesn't seem like it.

He's usually in his own head, but if he's actively paying attention then he picks up on mood switches very quickly.

I feel like the whole group is actually very good at picking up on shifts in energy. It's a trauma response from growing up with narcissistic and abusive parents.

Poor babies.

Mattheo is a lot of work and the boys always end up taking care of him, but he takes care of them too.

Mattheo is surprisingly good with his words when it counts. He can’t talk himself out of a bad headspace, but he can talk other people out of them.

He gives good advice, and although his exterior is often cold, he can bring a nice comforting energy that’s appreciated throughout his whole friend group.

I think that he is like this because he would always comfort his friends when their death eater parents would get a little too rough verbally or physically in the name of Voldemort. Since his dad had a hand in driving these people towards being even more cruel he feels kinda responsible.

Mattheo Riddle | Boyfriend

Oh my sweet baby Mattheo

Mattheo Riddle is so confused and sooo frustrated.

Most of his friends have some sort of an idea? Some sort of a squed idea of how relationships work, but Mattheo is so lost.

He felt like it all happened so fast.

First it was just flirting, and dates that he didn't even realize were dates. All of a sudden he's experiencing things? Feelings? Genuine romantic connection??

He was FREAKING OUT!

Then he just blurted out absolute nonsense that you somehow comprehended

I want to spend more time with you. Officially.

Officially?

Yeah. I mean...-I want us to be together. Officially.

Like as your girlfriend?

Yeah...that’s...what I said.

Sometimes when he talks you just want to bang your head against a wall.

But other times?? Other times??

Words of Affirmation

Once again, Mattheo didn’t know how to be a boyfriend at ALL and you felt that.

You really liked Mattheo, but you weren’t sure if he really liked you because he just didn’t show it.

He would be flirty at first, but once he caught himself catching actual feelings I feel like he'd be more on the awkward side

Mattheo picked up the fact that you were starting to question his true feelings and would be racking his brain trying to figure out what the fuck to do.

He's smart enough to know his friends gave him shit advice

Then one day he would see you first thing in the morning and his heart would stop. Without even thinking he just blurts out how beautiful you are

He sees your face light up and he just runs with it.

You’re so smart, baby.

I love it when you’re here.

and eventually...

I love you.

He’s so sweet. Every five seconds he’s whispering in your ear while you’re giggling and turning to see him look at you with the most love struck eyes.

Then there’s other times when he’s whispering about how pretty you looked bent over his lap last night

Regardless, you never question his affections again because Mattheo Riddle reminds you every day how much he wants to be with you

And he dedicates so much Quality Time to showing you he wants to be with you too

Matty likes to take you out! HE WANTS TO SHOW YOU OFF

You're just the most beautiful girl in the world and he wants to go on adventures and experience life with you right by his side

While reminding everyone that you chose him. Not them. HIM!

He likes to drag you into every party you'll allow him to and he stays next to you all night. He keeps his one hand on your hip and will not let go. His grip is TIGHT

Man has attachment issues.

Likes to sleep with you every night and keeps his body pressed tightly against yours, walks you to and from every class, sits next to you in the classes you share, in the Great Hall. Everywhere you go he's just there.

Would follow you around the world blindly. He has no idea what you're doing half of the time, he just knows he wants to do it with you.

He starts to show an interest in your hobbies so that he can spend more time with you.

Sometimes if you're too busy to hang out with him he'll purposefully start an argument just to get your attention.

Who cares if you're angry at him, as long as you're paying attention to him.

Which is something you have to work on. Consistently.

Eventually after a couple of months he'll learn that life is easier if he gets your attention in ways that doesn't end up in a screaming match

He's trying his best guys.

Now if he wants your attention he just gets touchy.

Once he gets comfortable and knows your boundaries and his; he becomes really touchy.

So much Physical Touch

Mattheo feels very protective over you, so he likes to constantly touch you just so he knows you're safe and right next to him.

Arm around your waist, having you sit on his lap. He also absent mindedly touches you a lot. Playing with your hands, hair, caressing your arm, etc.

After a while, physical intimacy with you just feels so normal to him. He feels empty if he's not touching you in some way.

When he's clingy though? Sometimes it can be a little overwhelming

He will ALWAYS hold you, even in times where it just doesn't make sense to

While you're brushing your teeth, trying to get dressed, even when you're walking. His arms are wrapped around your shoulders and you're sweating from having this large ass man practically lean his entire body against you while you're trying to move.

Matty, I can't walk like this.

So you hate me now? Is that it?

I also feel like Mattheo just loves to kiss you. There's something comforting about feeling you beneath his lips.

His favorite places to kiss you are your cheek, lips and jawline.

You'll be sitting down trying to study and he's right next to you, placing soft kisses on your cheek, moving down to your jawline, and letting out the lowest moan as his lips move closer to your ear.

As soon as you turn your head to interject his lips are pressed against yours and you can barely get a word out.

Ma-

(Kiss)

Mat-

(Kiss)

Matthe-

(Kiss)

You have to physically hold him back, struggling as he leans forward with his lips puckered out.

Mattheo, I need to study.

The only thing you need to be studying is this di-

Acts of Service

I think taking care of you would be a gradual process for Mattheo.

Like most things. Having a girlfriend is overall just a lot for him to take in emotionally.

It would start with him noticing you struggle to carry your books in the hallway. He would just offer to carry them for you and then after that he would start carrying them all the time. Wouldn’t even ask, he’d just slip them from your arms.

One day your skirt was a little on the short side and you bent down to grab something and a guy whistled at you.

After he got done beating the guy away from an inch of life he decided he’d be the one to pick stuff up next time you dropped something.

Just a whole bunch of small moments that lead to him doing stuff for you. Then he realizes he actually likes it and just incorporates taking care of you into his daily routine.

If you have trouble sleeping through your alarm, he’ll make sure he’s awake on time to get you up.

You have a lot on your plate and are struggling to get some stuff done? He’ll clear his entire schedule just to help you.

Mattheo’s the kind of guy who would track your period just so he can make sure you’re stocked up on pads, tampons, snacks, or whatever you need.

He’s a mess, but he’s so organized when it comes to you. He somehow always knows what you need and when you need it. Ink, parchment, he even bought you new tights when a pair of yours ripped one time.

He was the one who ripped them, but Mattheo was more than happy to go out and buy you a replacement after. Gift Giving

As Mattheo starts doing more for you, I feel like gifts would start to fall in naturally.

He’d buy you flowers sometimes, but mostly it’s just random stuff.

Maybe he was up earlier than normal and decided to go out and buy your favorite pastries or he saw a cool t-shirt and bought it for you

Or maybe he was just walking around Hogsmeade and saw your favorite sweets displayed in the window of a shop and stopped whatever he was doing to go buy them for you.

He still likes to splurge on jewelry and luxury items now and then, but I think those are more for special occasions unless he sees something he thinks you’ll love while he's out.

Unless you want the more expensive items.

I just feel like he's more likely to buy you more personalized stuff, but he doesn’t pay attention to price or put thought into how much he's spending on you.

He just buys whatever he thinks you’ll want. Maybe it’s $5? Maybe it’s $500,000?? Doesn’t matter to him as long as you like it.

The one expensive thing he will consistently buy is lingerie because...well

Mattheo Riddle | Comitted Lover

Horny. Mattheo Riddle is always in the mood.

Lonely Matty has left the building and horny Matty is here to STAY

It feels like everyday he’s dragging you away from something because he just needs you.

One second you’re talking to your friend and then the next you’re being shoved into whatever secluded area is closest.

He’s just moves fast. Mattheo waste zero time getting to the important stuff.

It’s like you blink, he’s tucking your panties into his pocket, and you’re questioning when he even had the time to take them off.

Now you’re sitting on top of a desk while Mattheo pumps his long, thick cock into you. You’re grasping the edge of the desk with one hand while the other is gripping the fabric of his opened button down. Your breathing heavy as you desperately try to keep your balance with each thrust.

And he’s so vocal. Moans and curse words escaping his mouth each second and he gets LOUD

And if you call him daddy??

Gone. You can hear him all the way in the other side of the school.

He doesn’t give a shit if people hear him. Why?

I told you guys he’s a FREAK

Mattheo also LOVES to experiment

Wax play, bondage, choking? He is always willing to try something new.

And if you’re willing, he will twist and turn you into all different positions so he can blow your back out from EVERY SINGLE ANGLE

I don’t think Mattheo has a favorite position, he just has a favorite person and that’s you.

Hell fuck you in doggy, missionary, standing up, laying down, in the lake, in the forest, against a tree, in the hallway with all the portraits staring down at him HE DOESN’T CARE AS LONG AS IT'S YOU HE’S FUCKING

And girl???? One word.

STAMINA

If it's not a quickie then he is going non-stop. NON-STOP.

He'll have you on your back, his hands pressed up against your thighs, holding your legs in place while he drills his cock deep inside of you over and over, and over, and over again. Not once giving a single indication that he is getting tired.

I wouldn’t classify Mattheo as a munch because I think it’s more about the act of pleasing you.

Man will spend multiple rounds eating you out, fingering you, and kissing every square inch of your body because you’re just so fucking addicting

He didn’t care that much about foreplay before, but with you?? He can't get enough.

You know how I mentioned his switch side hadn’t been activated yet??? Hehe

Switch Matty is reserved for one person and one person only. His sexy ass girlfriend.

Tell him he’s a good boy and he’s on his KNEES

Daddy issues?

I think he prefers to be Dom, but he also can’t imagine ever turning down the sight of you on top of him.

Head thrown back, and boobs bouncing in his face while he stares at you in awe. He doesn’t know how he managed to get you, but one thing for certain, he is never letting you go.

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winterlogysblog · 2 months

Text

4KOTA ✨142✨aka I have a BONE to pick with Nakaba

Oh boy, this chapter is a lot and I honestly want to make separate posts about several different things but I don't have enough patience for that so this is going to be a long one so buckle up.

This entire chapter is just all about setting up conflict for the chapters to come. We have this whole thing with the Drug of Yore, Nasiens, and Mertyl.

I also noticed that Phao overheard Diane and Tioreh's conversation so the rest of the kids are also gonna be involved in this whole ordeal one way or another.

So, the Drug of Yore. The source of all of this.

In the previous chapter, it's heavily implied that King is going to give Nasiens the Drug of Yore and for plot's sake I guessed that Mertyl will witness all of this unfold and that is exactly what happened.

Nasiens was upset about several things, mainly why is King giving this to him when Mertyl is sick and why did King give this to him now. Nasiens has been in the Fairy Realm for two years now and has been trying his hardest to find a cure for Percival then King comes in with the Drug of Yore which is essentially the medicine of all medicines.

Now, I don't think Nasiens has clued in that Mertyl is just a human in the Fairy Realm. Because Mertyl being human is the problem here, he's not sick, he's perfectly fine and healthy he just can't handle the Fairy Realm's atmosphere. That's why King didn't give the drug to Mertyl and since this is a rare drug he's probably not gonna risk it (even if that's his kid) and even if he did try to give it to Mertyl it's not gonna work.

Now, I looked back on the Grudge of Edinburg movie and I'm confident to say that the Drug of Yore is the same medicine that King used on Elizabeth, it's in the same bottle too. However, I also noticed something. In the movie, the bottle has a generous amount of elixir, but right now in the manga, it's almost empty, and the amount of elixir in the bottle is perfect for just a single dose. Which means King must have used this drug on someone before. This led me to a rabbit hole. I lost my good mind on this.

My guess is that King has given the Drug of Yore to Mertyl at least multiple times already but noticed that it's not working so he stuck with giving him the pills. This also explains why Mertyl has heard of the drug before when this is supposed to be an ancient secret medicine, he just forgot about it because it's been such a long time. This led to a shortage of the drug since King had been giving it to Mertyl this entire time. As said by King, it's a rare drug extracted from flowers on top of the Sacred Tree and these flowers only grow once every millennium (1k years) so this thing is not easily accessible, and it probably takes time to produce. Most likely the reason why it took 2 years for King to give the drug to Nasiens is because that is how long it took for King to acquire the perfect amount for at least a single dose that Nasiens can use. Besides, as per King's phrasing he's not even sure that it's gonna work on Percy.

On that note.

Will the Drug of Yore work on Percy?

In a sense yes it will but all it will do is bring OG Percival's soul back to the body, not our Percy. But it could also work because our Percy has more connection to the body than OG Percy. Maybe Nasiens could use the Drug of Yore as the main ingredient of the actual drug that he'll give to Percy to bring him back.

King messed up here but that doesn't make him a bad parent it actually makes him a realistic one

King's main fault here is not talking to Mertyl and apparently any of the kids about the whole adoption thing right away resulting in Mertyl's ever-growing insecurities, which realistically I really can't blame him for because it's a hard topic to discuss but really? It's been 18 years and you didn't say anything.

No parent is perfect and parenting is hard and Kiane is trying their best to be as good parents as they can for their 7 little munchkins. They mean well and obviously love their children a lot they just fumbled the bag on this one. I could also see Mertyl at fault here for not trusting his parent's love for him but again I can see why he felt the way that he did.

I don't think the reason King didn't give it to Nasiens right away is because he wanted to keep him there. That is a pretty selfish and petty reason and I know King, he's not that type of person, especially when the fate of the world hangs in the balance. I can actually see King not revealing that Nasiens is his kid ever and just being content to see his kid again and see the kind of person he grew up to be. To King, it's enough that he knows that his kid is alive and well. Nasiens will most likely realize this in the future, with the help of Lancelot (probably) (I love Lance I have to put him in everything lol this is his fam too yk)

We really haven't seen either King or Diane's side of the story, we don't know anything really and I still have enough trust in Nakaba that he'll give us a good reason for all of this. We'll probably see that next chapter (hopefully) cause with these types of dramas usually the parents' POV are the last ones shown.

They love Mertyl

Seeing both Sixtus and Tioreh's actions alone I can say that they love Mertyl to bits even if Tioreh knows that Mertyl is not his biological brother and I guess she's the first one to figure this out, she's upset at the idea that Mertyl won't be family anymore. Sixtus also shows great admiration and love for his big brother. And hey! even if Mertyl is human and not their actual kid he's still their big brother. They're acting like Mertyl's gonna be replaced or something when Nasiens is just an addition to their family and Mertyl is not going anywhere because he's forever part of their family.

This whole thing boils down to misunderstanding really, everyone has their own interpretation of the situation and people keep running off before anyone can explain anything (classic) I hope, boy I hope this will be resolved quickly and fast cause I hate seeing my babies suffer.

#4kota chapter discussion #4kota 142 #this chapter made me lose it #four knights of the apocalypse #nanatsu no taizai #seven deadly sins #nnt #4kota #mokushiroku no yonkishi #seven deadly sins sequel #nanatsu no taizai mokushiroku no yonkishi

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praisethesuuun · 1 year

Note

Nsfw alphabet for loki? Perhaps??

hope you like it♡ also english is not my first language so I'm sorry for any mistakes

LOKI: NSFW ALPHABET

A: aftercare <what they're like after sex>

Loki isn't much of an aftercare guy. If you have marks or small cuts on your skin, he will gladly watching them feeling proud, but he will not assist you. The best he can do is getting you some water.

B: body part <their favourite body part on them and you>

He likes his whole body. Loki knows he can look both feminine and masculine in order to satisfy the tastes of his partner. His favourite part of you is your eyes, because he can always see what your feeling just by looking into them. Are you scared? Good, he likes it.

C: cum <anything to do with it, really>

Loki loves to see you covered in his cum, it's like a way of marking you. You have to completely offer your body and soul to him, so there's no problem in covering you with his cum, right?

D: dirty secret <a dirty secret of theirs>

Loki would like to try shibari, but, even if he seems like he doesn't care much about you, he still doesn't know your limits. Plus, if he didn't like you, he wouldn't fuck you.

E: experience <how experienced are they>

A lot. Loki's a little whore, it's not a secret.

F: favourite position <self-explanatory>

I think he likes mating press. Having control over you, pounding mercylessly into you, maybe when you're all tied up begging him to go slower. Spoiler: he will go faster insted.

G: goofy <would they use humor in the moment?>

It depends: Loki's goofy usually, cracking jokes only to tease you and embarassing you, but when he's jealous it's a whole other story. He becomes serious as fuck. Run as fast as you can, honey, he's mad now.

H: hair <how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the courtains?>

He keep up the maintenance, plus he doesn't have any hair. Everything is pretty clean and shaved in general.

I: intimacy <are they romantic in the moment or they do not care?>

Loki's way to show you that he cares is fucking you DUMB. You think he doesn't care about you? Oh dear, he does, but this is the only way he knows to show you how much he loves you.

J: jack off <...self-explanatory part 2>

To your surprise he doesn't do it much. Your relationship's mostly based on sex, when he's horny he doesn't hesitate to come to you for a quickie.

K: kinks <their kinks>

Degrading kink and restraints. He's a sadistic bastard: calling you a slut while using a whip on you it's like a drug.

KNIFE PLAY AND BLOOD PLAY.

L: location <where they usually do the do>

Everywhere, really. Loki doesn't have this kind of problem, if he wants to fuck you in the middle of the arena, he will. It depends entirely on you and where you feel more comfortable (sex isn't funny if he's the only one to enjoy it).

M: motivation <what turns them on>

Blood. When there's the smallest trace of blood on you, Loki's mind stops working and he starts thinking with his dick. Good luck!

N: no <things they refuse to do>

Pissing on you. It stinks, plus he already has you trenched in his cum, why adding the piss? It doesn't makes sense to him.

O: oral <do they like giving or receiving?>

He likes more giving than receiving. Loki loves when he tortures you with his tongue. The little bastard knows he's good at it, so you better prepare to be held still by him while he eats you out. "What? You want more?" he says giving you another long and slow lick.

P: pace <are they slow and sensual or fast and rough>

HE'S ROUGH. I don't even think Loki knows how to go slow, he's not fluffy or vanilla at all! Your legs will feel so sore in the morning and he will enjoy every second of it.

Q: quickie <would they fuck you for five minutes or wait until you wait home?>

Of course he likes them: you never know when he's gonna get horny. He could be at any time and he becomes a whiny bitch when you don't give him what he wants.

R: risk <...DUH>

Loki lives for taking risks, did I already said that? He mostly takes them to study your body and its limits, this way you can fuck more and try more things, aren't you happy?

S: stamina <how long can they last?>

Loki has a lot of stamina, so he can go for a lot of rounds in the same night. He will stop only when you can't take it anymore.

T: toys <do they own any? do they use them?>

Yeah, he has a few, but he usually uses them on you. One of his favourite things to do is tying you up with a vibrator between your legs. Don't be surprised if you find yourself with a vibrator in you while he controls it with a remote, making you scream when you least expect it.

U: unfair <how much they like to tease>

He lives for teasing you. Loki is a brat when he wants, your frustrated face is just too cute.

V: volume <are they asking for a noise complaint, or are they quiet?>

Oh boy, he's loud. Not only he will moan like crazy, but he dirty talk a lot. Everyone in Valhalla knows when you two are fucking and sometimes it can get pretty embarassing.

W: wild card <a random headcanon☆>

He sometimes ask himself if he should organize an orgy with you, then he immediately discard the idea when he realize he won't be the only one to fuck you.

X: x-ray <what to they look like under there?>

Loki's cock isn't the longer you can get, but he knows how to use it. He can make you scream as much as he wants, he's an expert after all. The tip is #fac1aa. It's slightly inclined upwards

Y: yearning <are they in the mood to fuck or are they tame?>

Quite high once he get used to be intimate with you. Damn, you two can barely stay a few days without sex.

Z: zzz <how quickly they fall asleep afterwards>

Out like a light afterwards. He's going to be so blissed out that he falls asleep with an half smile.

#request #record of ragnarok headcanons #record of ragnarok #record of ragnarok smut #ror smut #ror imagines #ror x reader #ror x you #record of ragnarok loki #loki x reader #snv loki #shumatsu no valkyrie #shuumatsu no valkyrie x reader #shuumatsu no valkyrie headcanons #ror loki

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mywrittings · 2 years

Text

abandoned building / eddie munson

𝓈𝓊𝓂𝓂𝒶𝓇𝓎: Joining the Hellfire club has been one of the best things you had done. You met new friends but became very good friends with the leader. One of the things he really liked doing with you was exploring new places and tonight was no different. Or was it?

𝓌𝑜𝓇𝒹 𝒸𝑜𝓊𝓃𝓉: 3.9k+

𝓌𝒶𝓇𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈: 18+ ONLY smoking a cigarette, kissing, explicit language, some fingering, unprotected sex, some spit

𝒶/𝓃: ahhh first of all, thank you so much for the amount of love on my last story about eddie. I cannot believe so many of you liked it???? It truly means a lot to me and I appriciate every single one of you for reading it. So thank you again, I don't know what else to say.

Now this story is um...well... I was going to go for a more softer approach but I said HECK NO. Not yet. So here you go, I hope you like this one just as you liked the other one!

It was a typical night in the town of Hawkins. Everyone was already fed up with the new school year a few days after it began. It almost felt like each year it all became harder to bear. From numerous homeworks to projects… It was a never-ending story.

But one good thing came out of all of this. You met some new friends when you joined a club called ‘Hellfire’. At first you weren’t sure what it was about as you only heard rumors passing through the school’s hallways but soon you learned about the game and the members that were part of it.

The leader was called Eddie Munson and you had become close friends with him out of all of them. It helped that you both shared the love for the same music and dressed in similar ways. Never in your life had you connected with someone so quickly, he made you feel so welcomed and even if you were a newbie, the rest of the members grew fond of you fast.

However the only difference between Eddie, you and the others was that you two would hang out in private. The conversations you two had went way out of the Hellfire club so you would see one another in various places. Sometimes at his home, sometimes at yours but also often at random places. It’s not like you were hiding from the rest, they knew you were hanging out but others would not get your slang and the topics you would be talking about.

Tonight was no different. The night had fallen and spread all across the town and Eddie had called you, telling you he’s going to pick you up and that you two would be going to a new location. He told you it was a new one, saying that there is lots to unravel and you instantly knew he wanted to explore a new area of Hawkins.

Hawkins in itself was a huge surprise. People said it was cursed, due to last year's events, where people had died and it all was still a mystery to some. So you would be lying if you had said that you were not scared. But most of the time the places Eddie finds are pretty well lit up and there’s people nearby so that was calming you, while you were driving to the area.

‘’How did you find this place then?’’ you ask, as you look outside the car window, the soft yellowish lights passing by, leading to yet another road

‘’Well you won’t like what I’m going to say but I was delivering a package and had seen it.’’ he replies back, tapping at the wheel and you turn your head to him

Package meaning he was delivering drugs to someone. Many times you told him not to go to strange places to do the exchange, rather meet somewhere with people but Eddie told you that it doesn’t work like that. He told you he could get caught, so meeting elsewhere was much more secure which didn’t make sense to you. Ever since you found out about that, you’d always tell him to call you afterwards, to make sure he was okay.

‘’Ah, so it’s a scary area.’’ you nod, noticing as the lights behind you kept disappearing into the night and soon the road would be overtaken with darkness

‘’It’s not scary Y/n. I’ll be by your side,’’ he squeezes your knee ‘’Don’t you know I’m the master player of D&D. No man could beat me.’’ he boasts and you only roll your eyes but chuckle afterwards

The road suddenly became narrow, meaning that if two cars meet they wouldn’t be able to pass by each other. On the left side as you drove by was a random destroyed house, fully overgrown with grass and trees, sticks poking through the windows. On the right was more grass, followed by some more trees and in the distance you could see a light.

‘’Is that where this new location is?’’ you point in front of you and hear Eddie hum in response

Sure enough as the light kept getting bigger, a big building stood before you. In front of it, it seems there were parking spaces once but the lines were so hard to see. Lights spread out around the space but the building was dark. Shattered windows, shattered doors. It was abandoned, nobody had been here for years.

‘’Oh you gotta be kidding me. We are exploring this?!’’ you yell, now turning your entire body to him

‘’Yes, yes we are.’’ he had a grin on his face, he was so excited to see this area again

‘’As if there is anything to explore here!’’ you motion with your hand towards the building but Eddie keeps smiling. I mean you’d at least think it was some sort of old museum or anything that would be worthy enough to get out and have a look around but this was just mind blowing.

‘’Ah come on, you have to admit the building looks cool.’’ but there was nothing cool about it, I mean it was just an old building. You couldn’t even make out what the sign read that was holding on for dear life at the top, near the roof.

‘’Eddie, this is garbage. And also we are in the middle of nowhere,’’ you kept pointing outside ‘’nobody would know if someone just sliced our throats or something.’’

‘’They wouldn’t know because it wouldn’t happen.’’ he comes to a stop and parks his car. You stall for a moment but get out too and quickly run over to his side. His arms were on his hips as he lifted his eyes to the building and just examined it for a moment.

‘’Eddie, let’s go back.’’ you plead but he grabs your hand and starts walking you further down

You could’ve taken the steps and walked up but Eddie had climbed on to a large ledge that looked like it could be a balcony and extended his hand out, helping you come up as well. When you turned around, your face was in horror. It looked so terrifying. The large parking lot, Eddie's car in the middle surrounded by nothing more than lights, grass and trees; you could feel your heartbeat going faster.

Eddie in the meantime, walks up and down a couple times, trying to find a way in. Once he sees a door open ajar he signals to you and both of you walk in.

If you thought the area outside was horrendous this was on a whole other level. Glass scattered all over the area, walls broken down, stairs that missed a chunk in the middle, the list goes on. As you look up you see a large whole in the middle of the ceiling and you just hoped and prayed there wasn’t anyone looking at you from it.

‘’Wow, I mean this is just amazing.’’ you sarcastically say but Eddie thought you were not kidding.

‘’Told you!’’

‘’Amazing to die. Are you serious, Eddie no, I am sorry but this location is bad.’’ you grab at his jacket and he stops in his tracks

‘’You hadn’t even seen the rest of it and you’re already judging, come on.’’ with his other hand he guides you to his fingers and he locks them with yours. A tight squeeze around it and just for a moment you felt safe.

Eddie had a thing for touching you, it was his way of expressing when sometimes words wouldn’t be enough. Even if it was just a small touch on your skin, you understood him clearly. In situations like this he was extra touchy, holding your hand or having his hand on your lower back. In just a small short amount of time you had met him and already you were so close to one another.

As you groan, still protesting as Eddie begins walking you up the stairs. These ones were different from the first ones you saw; they didn’t have the giant chunk of it missing. The stairs were pretty wide so you walked beside him, not letting go of his hand. You thought this is the right floor but he went up another one, until at last you were at the top.

‘’So this is what you-...’’ before you could say anything further, you stopped, letting go of Eddie’s hand and your eyes were stunned. Right in front of you in the distance was almost the entire Hawkins.

The lights coming from the town, illuminated the area, that same yellowish color, fell onto the city while blending in with other lights. Those came from houses, other buildings… This is exactly what you liked about Hawkins. It had its magic at an hour like this, that’s why you enjoyed going out and exploring but you did not think a piece of that magic would be waiting for you here.

‘’Eddie this is…’’ you were speechless, it was breathtaking that on top of some random beat up building is an overview of the town

‘’Amazing? Beautiful? Stunning?’’ he was picking all the right names for this little hidden gem as he walked past you

‘’I can’t believe this.’’ you gasp, your eyes were glistening, reflecting those lights as you stepped closer where Eddie was standing

There was a medium-sized wall built up around the roof area, which didn’t really do much if you weren't careful and one could easily fall and go straight into the depths. Not to mention there were cracks here and there, you questioned yourself ‘how is this still standing here?’.

‘’I knew you’d like it. Might be scary but once you come to the top, it’s a whole different story.’’ Eddie crosses his arms and puts them on the wall, he too was staring at the view.

‘’There’s our Hawkins. Gosh, I love this town.’’ you adored it, even after all the strange occurances, this was still your town, where you grew up and met your friends.

‘’Yup and there’s so much more to it I’m sure.’’ Eddie was always thinking one step further. He hadn’t even finished exploring one place, he was already onto the next one with his mind.

Eddie then takes out a small packet of cigarettes from his pocket. He pulls one out and lends you it but you don’t take it. He smirks, placing it between his lips before lighting it.

‘’Oh so now you don’t smoke?’’ he laughs, taking one puff out of it, the smoke going up in the air

‘’Sometimes, I’m not like you Eddie.’’ you lean your back to the wall, observing him inhaling again

‘’Like what?’’ he taps away the ashes, some falling onto his jeans and you notice him cursing to himself which made you giggle

‘’I am not a regular smoker.’’ You had smoked before knowing Eddie. It would just be occasionally at a party or when you’d get super stressed but you made sure this wouldn’t become a regular thing for you.

‘’I thought you were going to say something else.’’ he rubs his forehead, by now he’s standing in front of you

‘’Oh that you’re what like ruining your health?’’ you raise your eyebrows and Eddie laughs, as he looks up at the sky

‘’Something like that yes.’’ he nods with his head, as he takes a small step towards you. He puts the cigarette back in his mouth as both of his hands reach to your jacket, where he plays with the zipper. You look down as he’s fiddling with it, trying to put it in the hatch.

‘’What are you doing?’’ you question as he continues struggling with it

‘’Well you’re ruining your health as well if your jacket is opened like this.’’ he mumbles, tilting his head up as he looks at you

‘’You are unbelievable Eddie.’’ you beam, as you reach down and try to help him.

But then your fingers touch, as Eddie hadn’t taken his hands away yet. He doesn’t pull away, rather lingers his fingers on top of yours. You could feel your hands getting clammy, a tingling sense around them. He looks down again at the sudden physical touch and even if he had touched you before, this one felt different.

He suddenly takes his hands away as the cigarette in his mouth had burned up a good amount, the ashes were barely holding on to the end and he takes it out and throws it on the floor.

‘’What about my health?’’ you ask, trying to conceal the sudden silence

He was still close to you, looking down on the ground this time but soon he grasped your fingers. Guiding your hands to the inside of his jacket. He wraps it around your hands and you could feel his heartbeat.

‘’Better?’’ his voice sounded so earnest, his eyes were focused on you now

‘’Yeah.’’ you quickly reply

‘’Y/n…’’

‘’Yeah?’’

‘’Can you fuck me?’’

You freeze and stare with your eyes wide open. Never during your friendship had he ever asked something like that, not even joke with you. You’ve had conversations about sex but that’s when you’d be talking about your personal experiences.

‘’If I c-can fuck you?’’ you repeat after him and he nods, his tongue poking the corner of his mouth

‘’Yes. I want you to fuck me.’’ each time he’d say something similar, you felt your heart rate jump up.

‘’Eddie I’m so confused right now are you joking or?’’ you could barely say that, the air got so thick, your hands still remained on his chest

‘’I’m not joking. I’m serious Y/n.’’ he mildly squeezes your fingers but it still wasn’t getting through your head

Eddie very slowly places your hands on his back, wrapping them around underneath his jacket. That causes you to move forward and you could closely smell his scent. A mix of cigarettes and cologne that he always liked to wear were merging together. He lets go of your hands and tenderly touches your lips with the tip of his finger, his other hand grabs at your face, drawing you in to himself.

‘’Fuck me Y/n. Please. I have been dying for that pussy for some time now.’’ he hissed, leisurely attaching his plump lips to your earlobe. He gently bites on it, making you say his name.

‘’Eddie.’’

‘’Y/n, you and I both know friends don’t touch each other the way we do.’’ he continues moving down, where he stops by the neck. ‘’I know you fucking feel it too.’’ You feel his tongue at the side of your neck before he sucks on your skin, his lips were so cushiony like small clouds had tickled at you.

His hand that was before on your lips, goes behind you to the wall as his body pushes up against you. In response you let go of him, pressing your hands on the wall as well, Eddie’s lips still lingering around your neck.

‘’Tell me you feel it Y/n.’’ he pressed a soft peck on your neck, returning back up. His gleaming eyes that were exhibiting a desire, were gazing at you.

Your eyes transfer to his lips. He had the most perfect lips ever. Full, slightly reddish and so soft. Eddie had taken notice of you staring at him and before he could speak another word you kissed him. It was probably the most heated kiss ever. You craved that kiss and that confirmed it. Both of you were savoring it, even if it was heated it was perfect. Your breathing united as Eddie’s tongue entered your mouth and he was such a good fucking kisser. His tongue was so warm as it went in and twisted around with yours. You could hear him groan, causing you to moan back.

Your mind was hazy, you weren’t sure if you were dreaming or if it was real; the fact that you and Eddie were kissing one another. You didn’t even know that you had made it so obvious whenever he’d touch you, you’d react in a certain way. And maybe even yourself didn’t know that all of that skinship was different than it should be between friends.

‘’Fuck me right now.’’ he suddenly pulls away as he was heaving loudly from the kiss

‘’Here? At this building?’’ you breathy say

‘’Yes. I can’t wait, I need you right now.’’ The scenery was beautiful but to fuck here where there’s so many things shattered and God only knows what could happen? But at the same time you liked the idea. It was thrilling when you thought about him fucking you at a wrecked place like this.

So you push your lips back onto his, this time your bodies fused together and you could feel his cock that was hard as a rock. Eddie’s hands seep from your back to your ass. He firmly squeezes it while pressing himself into you and you shudder.

‘’Turn around.’’ he instructs and you listen, placing your hands back on the wall, as Eddie quickly pulls your jeans down along with your panties. He doesn’t give you time to take them off, instead he spreads your legs with his knee a bit and you hear him spit on his hand.

Before you know it he has his fingers on your pussy. At first he fastly wiggles his fingers around, covering your clit with his spit before he parts your pussy lips. You shiver in your place, once you feel his middle finger graze over the entrance and you could hear how aroused you were. He had long fingers and once he put one inside and bent it at the end, your knees began to shake.

‘’Oh my god.’’ Eddie grunts as his body pushes up against you, his cock was now nudging at your ass.

He leaves your pussy alone for a moment as you hear him lick his fingers; lick them clean. He goes back in but as he’s massaging your pussy he manages to take his jeans off, followed by his underwear. With his other hand he places you in a position where you are now leaning forward, making him gain a lot more access to your pussy. You cry out a moan once his tip is smothering around it.

‘’Give me your hand.’’ you take your right hand off the wall and Eddie clasps his fingers around your wrist. Shortly after you feel him place the palm of your hand to the head of his cock. Your instant instinct was to wrap it around his tip, awakening a groan from Eddie. His hand doesn’t let go of yours but he guides it to your entrance.

As it goes in you tightly grab at the wall and yelp once you feel him inside of you. From there on he lets go of your hand and you too let go of his cock, your pussy tightly wrapping around it. His hands grazes up your back and goes back down, softly touching at your ass before he harshly smacks it.

He sets the motion and at first it is steady but then he quickly switches gears and begins hammering himself inside of you. His hips were clashing with your ass and he’d whip at it every now and then, which you knew would leave a good red mark.

‘’Fuck me, fuck me, bounce that ass on me Y/n,’’ he pants as he was deep inside of you ‘’Yes, yes just like that.’’ he adds, his cock was filling you up and you felt shaky. He was sliding in and out of you so slickly and you were barely able to catch his pattern of movements.

‘’All the Hawkins looking at you tonight getting fucked huh,’’ he presses up against you so that his chest was touching your back ‘’Bet you like that hm?’’ he whispers, the words finding their way to your pussy as it vibrated when he’d barely use his voice.

‘’Eddie oh my god.’’ adrenaline rushed everywhere along your body, that feeling of him being so close to you was what you craved right now. You wanted his skin on top of yours, you wanted to feel his chest touch your back. But he takes it a step further as one of his hands wraps around your neck the other one tightly going around your stomach. He had more pressure this way as he was pulling your hips down harder.

‘’I want you to milk my cock baby, get every bit of cum out, I want to see it drip out of you once we’re done,’’ he says that in between railing himself in your pussy ‘’do you understand?’’

‘’Mhmm…’’ you whine, as his hand was around your neck, lifting your head up to place an open mouth kiss behind your neck before you feel his forehead laying on your shoulder. His cock was tense, you could sense him being close and your body was also ready to dive into the pleasure of orgasming.

Eddie suddenly pulls out of you and turns you around. He puts his cock back inside of you and you finally are able to see his face.

‘’I have to look at you while I cum,’’ he smirks ‘’I wanna see that pretty face while you milk every drop of my cum.’’ and that’s what made you shatter as time suddenly slowed down and you could feel the build up reach all the way to the top.

‘’Cum on my cock baby, cum with me.’’ Eddie rasps and you instantly feel yourself getting filled with his hot cum, which causes you to grip around him, both of your bodies shaking. Your moans die down once you compose yourself but still feel the heartbeat of your pussy.

‘’Holy fuck Y/n…’’ Eddie pulls out of you and you tremble but he catches you ‘’Come here.’’ he kisses your lips so sweetly, like he wanted to make sure you were okay, even if he had just fucked the shit out of you.

‘’I can’t believe we just fucked here.’’ he laughs, his nose touching yours

‘’I can’t either, I don’t know how you convinced me to do it here.’’ you respond back as Eddie so slowly deepens the kiss

‘’You’re so fucking gorgeous you know that?’’ he admires you but only for a short moment because it had gotten so cold that you were trembling in your place and once you got dressed and cleaned yourself as much as you could you both returned back to Eddie’s car.

‘’No, sit on top of me.’’ he protests as you sit in the passenger seat but soon wiggle yourself on him. He encloses his arms around you, squeezing you so tight before he kisses you again.

‘’We probably could’ve fucked here.’’ he raises his eyebrows, observing his car that was clean for once

‘’But we didn’t because you wanted the whole Hawkins to know that we were having sex.’’ you joke back

Eddie bites his lip with a grin on his face ‘’Well yeah, I want the whole of Hawkins to know you’re mine. That this tight pussy milked me so fucking good that I can’t wait to fuck it again.’’

‘’Well too bad that I’m going home after this.’’ you pout your lips and try to get back on your seat but he’s faster than you and brings you back down

‘’Don’t go home Y/n. I won’t be able to fall asleep without you. Not after everything that just happened.’’

You ponder for a moment but you knew you were only joking when you said that you were going home. ‘’Will you sing me to sleep? I kinda miss you playing for me.’’

‘’Anything, anything just to make you stay.’’

#eddie munson imagine #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x reader #eddine munson smut #eddie munson smut imagine #stranger things imagine #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson fanfic #stranger things x reader #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson imagine smut #stranger things imagines #stranger things fanfiction

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lesbianabril · 3 months

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My S6 BTVS rewrite

I know this season has a lot of haters but I actually love season 6, I don't mind the depressing parts (meaning: most of the season) because I think it all makes sense for where the characters are at, and I think that after fighting a literal God having a season where the villain is Life really works storytelling-wise.

Having said that, though, I think that a lot of things could have been handled better and since all I have are correct opinions I'm gonna tell you what those are.

1. Willow's magic addiction

Basically I think they went too far when the magic became drugs in the most basic sense, when they start acting like she's "taking a hit" every time she uses it.

I think all of the important plot points could have been kept while making willow's addiction to magic about her need to be in control of everything (and everyone). Up to Tabula Rasa I wouldn't change anything, her use of magic is wrong because she starts using it to bend the world at her will, empowered by having successfully brought Buffy back to life.

After Tara leaves her she starts using even more magic while being reckless with it, she injures Dawn and she commits to stop using it because she realizes it wasn't healthy for her or for the people she loves.

I would eliminate Rack and his stupid crack house hide out, and everything that has to do with the physical withdrawal of going "cold turkey".

I think this also makes Willow responsible for her actions, while making magic = literal heroin absolves her of the blame, in the end. The fallout of having to deal with her dependence of it would also be way more compelling.

2. Spike's attempted r4pe

I would keep their toxic relationship and everything that led up to that god-awful bathroom scene, my only change is that I would make it so Spike is trying to turn her instead.

Hear me out. It would make a lot of narrative sense because all through the season he's trying to convince her she's a dark being just like him, he wants them to be equals because he doesn't think himself worthy of her so he's trying to lower her to his level. So, after Buffy rejects him again he's not thinking clearly and, in his desperation, tries the only thing he swore himself he wouldn't do since he loves Buffy because of her goodness.

After it happens, Buffy feels betrayed, Spike leaves and decides to try to get to her level, to truly change himself instead of trying to change her.

This is a minor thing too but in this rewrite after Spike leaves we don't know where he went and we don't see him again until the start of s7 when he already has his soul. I know this couldn't be done because of James Marsters' contract but in my dream s6 we don't know what happened to him so when we see him again everything about his sudden disappearence and current mental state is a mystery and we find out along with Buffy.

3. Xander dies instead of Tara

Ok maybe this one is based on my dislike of Xander and my love of Tara but I think this would work really well:

Willow and Tara haven't gotten together yet, Willow is working on her more controlling tendencies and they're just friends right now. When Warren shows up Buffy is in the garden with Dawn and Xander went up to Willow's room to talk to her, so both Buffy and Xander get shot, Dawn takes Buffy to the hospital and dark Willow is born after she's not able to revive Xander.

After that things are mostly the same, only this time we get a grieving Buffy trying to deal with the sudden loss of both of her best friends. She's devastated and a part of her says that yes, Warren deserves to die.

After everything happens and Willow is close to destroying the world, Tara is the one who shows up, she appeals to Willow's humanity and, through her love and compassion, saves the world.

#i think about this a lot #so here you go #tell me what you would have changed if u want i love buffy talk #buffy the vampire slayer #btvs #btvs meta #spuffy #tillow #buffy #buffy s6 #btvs s6 #spike #mine

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gloomysoup · 1 month

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when the world stops turning (my heart stops beating) - pt. 4

hello yes i know it's been a while. this part has been a pain in my ass for months. i needed to get it just right and rewrote this thing so many times it's not even funny. and now, after editing it five times over the last two days, i'm just posting it. what's done is done. if i came back to it again i would have rewritten and i don't wanna do that. so here it is at least. there is also going to be at least one more part. i'm shooting for two more hopefully but i make no promises. the next part could very well be the last. i hope you enjoy :)

ao3 pt 1 pt 2 pt 3 pt 4

cw: hospitals, dissociation, mentions of overdose, addiction, sobriety, and relapse

Eddie couldn’t move. His body was fighting against every instinct he should have in the moment. Someone could throw something directly at his head, and he wouldn’t react. The buzzing voices around him faded in and out as he stared at a chip in the wood of the table in front of him.

One of Steve’s doctors had finally come to speak with them. They couldn’t say anything for certain at the moment, but he was alive, and that’s all Eddie heard before his head went fuzzy again. His mind was still reeling, caught on the fact that he should have seen this. He should have noticed. He should have been able to help Steve. He failed the only person who’d ever loved him like that, the only one who ever would love Eddie like that. Because Steve was it for him. He’d always known that. No one else would even come close. No one could ever compare to Steve Harrington.

Not only had he failed Steve, but he’d failed Robin too. He was supposed to keep Steve safe. Robin couldn’t lose her best friend; Eddie knew that. He’d promised to take care of him. He couldn’t even do that one thing right. God, what was he going to tell Robin?

They didn’t want Steve to have visitors yet. Eddie managed to gather that much at least. It was still touch and go. He wasn’t awake. They weren’t sure if he ever would be. They’re flushing his system, but it’s really just a game of wait and see. They might be able to see him in the morning, but the doctor wasn’t making any promises. It all depended on how the rest of the night went. If he made it through. They couldn’t say anything else for certain. There had been a lot of drugs in his system. He’d been deprived of oxygen for a long time. There was no way to be sure what would happen next. That was all up to Steve now.

Eddie sat there in that uncomfortable waiting room chair for hours. He didn’t move. He didn’t eat or drink. He didn’t even get up to go to the bathroom. He just sat there, staring at the same chip in the wooden table. His friends all tried their best to get through to him. They tried to coax him into eating or drinking something, but their efforts were unsuccessful. No one could get through to him, and he preferred it that way. He deserved to sit in his own silence, letting his brain run reckless and spiral to the depths of his fears and anxiety. He had failed.

He noticed that the more time seemed to pass, the antsier his bandmates got. Though, he couldn’t be exactly sure that’s what was happening. Time escaped him.

Time was such a funny thing, wasn’t it? It can feel like it speeds up, slows down, or stops entirely, but it never changes. It’s always the same. It’s all in the imagination. Eddie was never that good at telling time as a child. Even as he grew older, he found it difficult to keep track. As he sat in that hospital, his entire life on the brink of falling apart at the seams, time was nowhere to be found. Nothing made sense. He just sat silently, staring. People moved around him, time passed, but Eddie didn’t move. He was trapped. His body was at the hospital, but his mind kept bouncing around. From his mom, to Wayne, to Steve on the bathroom floor. An endless cycle. Eddie was hanging on by a single thread: the only thread of life left in Steve.

Eddie would never survive if Steve didn’t make it out alive.

Eddie was aware that a long time had passed only by the ache in his joints and the dryness of his mouth. He also sort of needed to pee, but that wasn’t important. At least, not important enough to warrant getting up. He couldn't move. He needed to stay right in that spot. Nothing was more important than that.

“Come on, Ed,” Wayne’s gruff voice said from somewhere behind him. Eddie stayed rooted to the spot. “It’s time to go, kid. We’ve gotta get to the reception.”

Eddie stood silently, staring straight ahead at the marble headstone. His mother’s name was engraved with curly letters. Eddie hadn’t known that was possible. There were piles of flowers that he knew wouldn’t be there next week. He didn’t speak. His feet were glued to the soft ground beneath him. His suit was itchy and his worn dress shoes were a size too small. The tie around his neck was suffocating. He couldn’t breathe.

He broke down right there, tears rolling down his cheeks and gasping sobs bursting from his chest. He sank down to the ground at the foot of his mother’s fresh grave, clawing at the stupid red tie that his mother had bought him two years prior and the collar of his white dress shirt. Wayne sighed softly and sat down beside him, gently pulling his hands away and shushing Eddie as he loosened the tie. He let him collapse against his chest, tie almost completely off and the first two buttons of his shirt undone. Wayne held him through each wracking sob and stuttering breath, murmuring comfort until he’d gotten it all out.

“I couldn’t do it, Uncle Wayne,” Eddie whispered hoarsely. “Why couldn’t I do it?”

“Do what, Ed?”

“Save her.”

Why couldn't he do it?

“Eddie, seriously, you need to eat something,” Jeff said, holding out a bag of chips from the vending machine. Eddie stared blankly at the bag, seeing but not really. He heard the words coming from Jeff’s mouth, but his body refused to respond. He couldn’t quite fully process what he was saying. It slipped out of his head before he got the chance, replaced with his mother’s voice, or Steve promising he was fine. He was fine. There was nothing wrong. It was just weed. Nothing more. He was fine.

He lied.

What else had Steve lied about? What else was he keeping from Eddie? Every time Steve came home late, claiming some generic excuse about work or traffic or whatever else it may have been, how often had those been lies? What had he been doing instead? Getting high? Shooting up in a parking garage somewhere? Was he ever with someone else? Someone who wasn’t Eddie?

Steve would never cheat. Eddie had to remind himself of that over and over again. Repeat it on a loop in his head. Anything to get it to stay there.

He would not cheat. He would not cheat. He would not cheat.

But he would lie.

Eddie has never been insecure about their relationship before. He loved Steve more than anything. He always knew Steve felt the same. Steve loved him. No questions asked. Eddie knew. He didn't need to be told that Steve loved him. It was just obvious. Now, though, Eddie was second guessing everything. Why would he lie? If Steve could lie so easily about something like this, what else had he lied about? Had their whole relationship been a lie? Has Steve ever told him the truth about anything?

His brain swirled with more thoughts, more insecurities. He stared at the chip in the table as he spiraled. His fingers and toes were tingling. This couldn’t be real. It had to be a dream, a nightmare. Any minute now, he was going to wake up. Everything would be fine. It was just one big nightmare. He would be laying in bed next to Steve, who would be snoring softly. He would roll over and tuck his arms around his boyfriend’s waist. He could hold him tight, bury his nose in the back of Steve’s neck and breathe in the scent of his shampoo. He could fall back into a peaceful sleep with Steve in his arms, safe and sound.

Except he wasn't waking up. No matter how much he tried, no matter how hard he willed his eyes to open, it didn't happen. He was trapped. There was no escape. Steve wasn't there. He may never be there again. This was all Eddie’s fault. If only he’d noticed. If only he cared enough. None of it was enough. Eddie wasn’t enough. He never should have expected to be enough for Steve. Steve deserved better.

Eddie never should have asked him to come on tour with them.

If Eddie hadn’t asked him to go, this never would have happened. Steve would be at home, in their apartment with Robin, probably sleeping in her room every night. He hated sleeping alone. He’d be sitting on the couch, wrapped up in one of Eddie’s hoodies and the threadbare blue blanket they took from the trailer when they moved, watching movies with Robin and a bowl of popcorn. He wouldn’t be dying in a hospital in New York. He’d be happy and safe. Eddie would miss him like hell, but at least he would be safe.

The sun was shining, blindingly bright, through the tall windows on the far wall of the waiting room when the doctor finally came back. Eddie’s knee had taken to bouncing anxiously a while ago, maybe an hour, maybe more. He can’t be sure. His brain had mostly come back online, but he still felt a little foggy. Untethered. His world was unbalanced. His ears were still ringing even as the doctor started talking. He barely heard a single word. Snippets of information filtered through the fog. Stable. Made it through the night. Up to Steve now. ICU. Visitors. The next thing he knows, Jeff is leading him through the halls with the doctor. It’s just the three of them. Other doctors and nurses bustled around them.

They finally crossed the double doors into the ICU. Eddie’s heart pounded as the doctor led them over to one of the sliding doors. She opened it, and Eddie couldn't move. He could hear the machines inside, see the edge of the hospital bed. If he turned his head a little, he knew he would see Steve. The doctor walked in and picked up the chart at the foot of the bed. She flipped it open and clicked her pen, writing things down and glancing at monitors.

“Eddie, why don't we go inside?” Jeff suggested softly, his hand on Eddie’s arm. “Steve needs you right now.”

Eddie's feet moved of their own accord, taking slow steps into the room. Jeff followed behind him, closing the door once they were both in the room. He carefully led Eddie over to the chair, giving him a light push on the shoulder to sit him down. As soon as he was close enough, Eddie grabbed Steve’s hand. An instinct he would probably always have. It didn't matter what was going on in his brain. If Steve’s hand was there, Eddie was holding it.

“Is he okay?” the doctor asked gently, nodding to Eddie.

Jeff sighed. “I hope so. This is all really hard on him.”

“How long have they been together?”

Jeff looked up, a little startled. It may have been New York, and queer relationships were a little more accepted than they were just a few years ago, but Steve and Eddie had always been careful. Cautious. They all had. But she was quick to respond before Jeff could even think to redirect.

“It’s okay, really. I know what love looks like. I would look at my partner the same way if something like this ever happened to her.”

“Oh.” Jeff glanced at Eddie, who had his eyes glued to Steve’s hand in his. “Um… it’s been almost eight years now. They’ve been through a lot together.”

She closed the chart and put it back at the end of the bed. She nodded a few times, watching the machines that beeped rhythmically. “I’m going to hold on to hope,” she said softly. “For them. For everyone like us. I can’t say anything for certain; this is all up to Steve. We’re doing everything we can. But I’m holding on to hope.”

“I guess that’s all any of us can do now, isn’t it?”

“I think so.” She cleared her throat and took a step back from the bed, turning to Jeff. “I have other patients to round on, but I’ll be back to check up on everything in a couple of hours. If you guys need anything, just let one of the nurses know.”

“Thank you.”

Silence fell through the room as the doctor left. Jeff took the chair in the corner, letting Eddie have whatever time he needed. He was mostly there for Eddie’s sake; someone had to make sure he would be okay until Wayne got there. Truthfully, they were all out of their depths here. No one really understood what was happening in Eddie’s brain. Not even close to the way Wayne would.

They sat there in total silence for a long time. It's unclear to Eddie just how long, but long enough that Jeff had gotten up four times. Once to get food, once for the bathroom, and twice to hit vending machines and coffee. Not that Eddie accepted anything Jeff offered him. His body still felt wildly disconnected from his brain. His limbs were heavy. He also knows it's been long enough that nurses have come in to check on Steve eight times, and his doctor has been back once. It seems the only thing Eddie’s mind can keep track of is how many times someone has entered or exited Steve’s room in the ICU.

Jeff gets up for a fifth time. Another bathroom break, from the few words Eddie managed to retain. The door slid shut behind him, and Eddie was alone again. He squeezed Steve’s hand three times, desperate for any sign that he's still there. That he's fighting for Eddie. Nothing happens. The machines beep. His chest rises and falls rhythmically with the calculated breaths of the ventilator. Steve’s eyes shift beneath his eyelids, but they don't open. They won't open. The door slid open again, and Eddie assumed Jeff was back, though it seemed like he wasn't gone very long. And then he hears it.

“Oh, God.”

Eddie’s head shot up at the sound of Robin’s shaky voice behind him. She looked wrecked. Her face was blotchy, her eyes puffy and red. There were tear tracks down her cheeks. Wayne was standing beside her, looking somber. He watched her take a rattled breath, crossing the room slowly. Her eyes don't leave Steve. Wayne followed a few moments later, coming to stand behind Eddie and put a hand on his shoulder. Eddie wanted to break. As if he hadn't been slowly breaking this whole time.

“They- they said it was an overdose?” Robin asked softly, her voice cracking at the end. Eddie merely nodded, still trying to find his voice. “What- what happened, Eddie? Was it- was he drugged? How- how did this- did he relapse?”

“Relapse?” Eddie croaked, his voice hoarse from disuse. That didn't make any sense. For Steve to relapse, he would have to be…. “He- he was clean?”

Robin frowned, and her gaze finally found Eddie. “What do you mean he was clean? He's been clean since ‘85, Eddie. I- I helped him, after Starcourt.”

All the air left Eddie’s lungs in an instant. This was all his fault. Steve was- he was clean. Sober. And Eddie ruined that. He gave Steve weed. He brought him on tour. He took him to parties full of temptation. He killed Steve.

“This is all my fault,” he whispered.

“Eddie, you have to tell me what's going on,” Robin begged. “When did he relapse? Why didn't he call me? He promised he would talk to me if he wanted to get high again.”

“I- Oh, God. I didn't know. He- he didn't tell me.” Eddie couldn't breathe. His heart squeezed in his chest, and his lungs pushed the air from his body until there was nothing left. No matter how much he tried, he couldn't get it back. He was already hyperventilating. “This is all my fault. Oh my god, it's all my fault.” He was distantly aware of the tears rolling down his cheeks again.

Wayne stepped between Eddie and Robin, crouching down to look up into his nephew's face. His hands were solid against Eddie’s skin, just like they always were. “Ed, you need to talk to me. Take a breath, kid. I'm right here, but you have to tell me what's going on.”

Eddie’s breath stuttered halfway through his chest. “I didn't know, Wayne.”

“What didn't you know, Eddie?”

“I didn't- I didn't know he was sober. I- I thought I- I was just trying to help. I- I gave him weed. I did this.”

Robin’s expression hardened. “You did this to him?”

“I'm so sorry,” Eddie choked out between sobs. “I didn't- I didn't know. I was just trying to help. And- and then he- I knew he wasn't telling me something, but- but he promised it was just weed.”

“Get out.” Robin’s voice was firm, but he could hear the trembling fear behind it.

“What? I-”

“Get out. Get out, right now. You did this, Eddie. He was doing so good until he met you! And now he's dying! So get the hell out, before I make you!"

It was at this moment that the door opened for Jeff’s return. He paused just inside the doorway. Wayne stood up, facing Robin.

“Now, Robin, I think-”

“I don't care!” Robin’s hands were shaking. “This is his fault! I want him out, right now! Or I swear to God, Wayne, I'm going to kill him.”

Wayne glanced back at Jeff, who was the perfect picture of confusion. “Jeff, take Eddie into the hall.”

“What-”

“Don't ask questions right now,” Wayne said sternly with a shake of his head. “Just take him to the hall. I'll be out in a moment.”

As soon as the door shut behind them, and Jeff had led Eddie a little ways from the room, he finally snapped. His knees gave out from underneath him, and Jeff was the only thing holding him up as he sobbed.

This was all his fault. He killed Steve.

First his mom, now the love of his life. It was all his fault.

-----

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