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warmau · 3 years

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Love Struck!AU x SF9

lately i just need to write about every member of every kpop group being in capital L love. find other love struck!aus here: monsta x | day6 | ateez | the boyz

youngbin

overcompensates with selfless acts that go above and beyond what any person deserves

offers to carry your bags, learns about plumbing when you mention you have a leaky faucet, asks if you want him to drive you to your appointments which you are perfectly fine getting to on your own

if there was a puddle of mud on the ground, youngbin would throw his brand new jacket over it just so you could walk over it

even though you could literally just. walk around it

doesn't even realize he's overdoing it

he just loves you and therefore knows he has to show it at any given part of the day

but not like in an aggressive manner

just a small smile and a "i can pick you up and drop you off if you want!"

dawon: actually, youngbin, we have practice at that tim-

youngbin, shoving a sandwich down dawon's throat: so you said noon right?

when you respectfully decline any of his help, mostly because you are worried you're using your friend for his kindness, everyone assures you that's not it

actually everyone is super confused how you haven't seen why it is weird that youngbin would commit hours of research for you when you ask offhandedly if you should visit europe for the summer and then show up at your door with ten pamphlets on different european destinations 'by chance'

because - that's weird - and weird means, in the great way of sf9, that he has a crush on you

"youngbin, you're being so nice to me these days how could i ever repay you?

youngbin about to say that there's nothing you need to do, he just likes being able to help

dawon, shoving a sandwich down youngbin's throat for revenge and also to answer on his leader's behalf: "actually, if you could finally go on a date with him - i think that would repay it."

you get all shy and murmur that you don't know if youngbin wants that, and youngbin can only vigorously nod that he does

(due to the sandwich)

inseong

no clue if puppy syndrome is a thing, but he's got it

the human embodiment of big puppy eyes whenever you're around, big puppy pout, big puppy wagging his tail at just the mention of your name

even without all that - the energy that exists around inseong when you are near him and giving him attention - it's enough to quite literally blow everyone and everything else away

and there are lasting effects

as in you walk away from the conversation and fifteen minutes later inseong still can't make out a single word, just chin on his palm - daydreamy look in his eyes

jaeyoon tries snapping his fingers in his face, tickling him, even flicking his best friend straight on the forehead but.

nothing.

the only way he breaks out of the spell you cast on him is either a long time passes or you show up again and inseong is back at your full attention

it's getting bad, like to a point where he walks into walls or drops his phone in the sink when he starts thinking about you

incidents where he nearly topples over onto poor chain who is like get off of me you are built like a skyscraper

or just flat out doesn't move a muscle in the right direction during practice and it's literally driving youngbin mad

so jaeyoon (like the best friend he is) arranges for you to come hang out with him but tada it's actually a candlelight dinner in the sf9 kitchen he and the rest of the boys set up for you and inseong

and you're like w....whats all this and inseong is like i don't know either

and jaeyoon (who like the best friend he is picked the nicest smelling candle from the tj maxx sale aisle) appears and lights it and is like this is for you two to confess and for inseong to be cured of puppyism

you: puppyism?

inseong, red as a tomato: i think he means like the way i act around you like a - um -

jaeyoon: like a lovesick puppy, so like....collar him or whatever

you and inseong both looking at him like do what? and jaeyoon is like sorry that didn't come out right

either way you get the point please date the oversized man whose brain wont work unless you give him a kiss

jaeyoon

opposite of his best friend, jaeyoon doesn't need to fall over his feet when he's lovestruck

he will literally just let you know how he feels

"i like you"

you smile at him and laugh, "i like you too!"

and jaeyoon is like amazing so we are both "liking" each other how lovely how nice

and that is....................where it ends

he literally is so preoccupied with the concept of confessing that he forgets the part where he has to like.

confirm the relationship

so for like a month after you are both just saying 'i like you' to each other and he thinks it's romantic and you still think it's platonic

it's a mess

he keeps asking himself when the right time to ask you to go to the movies with him is, if he should pull out the home cooking - why haven't you pulled out the home cooking? do you not "like" him enough for that?

he paces around before you come over because is he dressed too casual - i mean he's your boyfriend, he should put effort into it right?

and then you show up and nothing is different and everything is the same and when inseong is like

jaeyoon you're dating them right, why don't you guys like kiss? and jaeyoon is like holy shit i haven't even thought about that yet

and dawon is like how have you not thought about that kissing is all i think about ever

and so jaeyoon's head gets even more scrambled because now you come over and he's like ..... kiss......lips......mouth...hand? kiss on mouth...hand...lips.....hug?

and you're like what? and he's like hug lips mouth? and you're like jaeyoon are you ok?

oh my god at some point you're both alone and jaeyoon is walking you home or something and he reaches out to grab your hand because like that's normal right? people dating do that right?

and you're like oh! and he's like is this ok? and you're like a-does it mean something?

and jaeyoon is like it means the same thing as i like you....you know....like how i said it a month ago and i just thought we could take the next step-

he's rubbing his neck and blushing and he has always been sauve and straightforward and it dawns on you that the entirety of this month he has been saying he likes you like in that way

and you're like wait you like-love me? and he's like yes wait what did you think- and you're like i thought it was like-like ....like friend like?

you and jaeyoon just staring at each other and then he's like should i let go of your hand then

and you're like no. actually just kiss me we've wasted a LITERAL month

dawon

always the class clown, being lovestruck somehow only tends to make it worse

but not worse like oh he gets louder and cracks more jokes.

my man has upgraded to mildly dangerous body humor.

you are all together and dawon is suddenly like you guys think i can climb that uneven, rickety tree? and youngbin is like no and you're like no but dawon is like it'll be fun just watch

dawon: should i drink spoiled milk

you: why-

dawon: im hardcore it'll be fine - look im just a goofy guy who - oh my god. call an ambulance.

the idea is that every time you are in the vicinity and glowing like an angel without a halo dawon is like

gotta do something so outrageously stupid that it grabs their attention and/or lands me in a situation where i can excuse myself to run away from my feelings. perfect.

it's literally the dumbest logic on the planet

everyone tells him it's the dumbest logic on the planet

but dawon is convinced it's the best reaction to....to the butterflies in his stomach

of course, you don't find any of it amusing, you are just in a constant state of worry

one time dawon takes it too far and probably tries to do something that could actually seriously hurt him

and you stop him by grabbing him and being like stop - i don't know why you don't care about yourself but i care about you so stop being stupid

and dawon is staring down at you like

"pause, you care about me? like on a scale of 1-10 how muc-"

you kiss him and mutter a "11" and dawon thinks he sees stars

youngbin thanking you profusely like we were worried for his actual literal life

zuho

rather scream into the void than confront how he feels about you

the private twitter account is blowing up with tweets about how he wants to hold your hand and how that makes him pathetic

dawon replying under each of them: tru

rowoon replying under each of them: not true!!!!! love is awesome!!!! pog as chani would say!!!!!!

you talk to him about something and his ears are full of white noise and he cant help but think about how your face is somehow the most beautiful thing he's ever seen and how he could write a whole album about the curve of your nose and the color of your eyes and -

you ask him what he thinks and he can only reply with a sound that is both pained and high pitched and when you raise your eyebrow he's like gtg uh feed my cats

when you're around he disappears to "feed his cats" like . ten times

surprisingly being a lovestruck fool does fuel his ability to make music

but it is also sad and about being heartbroken and the members are like hey do you wanna talk about it and zuho is like no

there are spotify playlists with your name, there are journal entries about you, there are iPhone notes app scribbles about you

he's down bad

everyone knows he's down bad

you also figure out he's down bad and so you finally confront him

except you're like......... zuho who are you in love with? ill help you if i can

and he looks at you like a deer in headlights because that's the most bizarre shit you could ask him

and because of the shock he blurts out the truth

"you. i love you."

screams after and you jump up and he's like i need to leave and you're like AT LEAST LET ME SAY IT BACK?????

rowoon

it's the cluelessism of it all

he looks at you one day and instead of just being a person you are beaming at him like a direct sunray and he's like woah! weird!

he just kind of becomes more clumsy around you since you've got this new effect on him

trips over his big feet, giggles randomly while you're talking, forgets he's in the middle of the street when you're walking by his side and someone has to honk three times for him to start walking again

honestly no one can tell what's wrong with him

because is he like ... is it early onset amnesia? is he just spacing out?

even chani notices the shift because rowoon has gone from annoying him to laying half off the couch with his hand in an empty pringles can

"what are you thinking about?"

rowoon just mutters your name and chani is like .... i don't know about all this but maybe you like them?

reality hits rowoon like a freight truck .... liking you? that's new

he googles 'what to do when you like someone?' literally googles it

tries to show you by playing it cool, tries to show you by showering you in random compliments but he's tongue tied when you smile so he's like i love your hair it looks like. cheese

embarrasses himself over and over and over until he just hunches himself over one day and is like

why is liking someone so hard? isn't it supposed to be easy?

and you're like haha i know the feeling, ive liked someone for so long but he never takes a hint and rowoon is like omg who

and you look at him and you're like well he's a tall clueless handsome guy

and rowoon stares at you like he sounds nice

and you're like you

and he's like oh that's nice - WAIT

taeyang

flirts with you but it flops because he's been flirting with you since you first met

so you cannot tell the difference and taeyang is like what am i doing wrong

inseong: karma for always winking and calling them cute when now you want them to do it back to you

taeyang: shuttup sad old man

inseong: you've been hanging out too much with chani. sniffle

he decides ok so regular flirting doesn't work, so what about lowkey flexing?

he wears the expensive watch and puts his hand in front of you like, hey and you're like hi? and he's like notice anything? and you're like .... um..... oh, your tag is sticking out of your shirt! and taeyang is like .........F

ok so not flexing, what about compliments?

he piles like ten of them on you and you're like oh - thanks, but i don't really like this outfit anyway and he's like....F

ok so not flexing, compliments, let's try playing hard to get

he gives you the cold shoulder when you come over and you immediately are like taeyang are you mad at me if you are im sorry so stop being a weirdo and he's like........F

finally he just reverts to himself and just keeps up the regular flirting and the soft touches and smiles

and he realizes the difference now is when he flirts - he just has to follow up on it

so when he asks " i cant taste my lips, can you do it for me?"

and you reply with "sure" and roll your eyes

he just . does kiss you and you're like oh.

and he's like well what do you say and you're like your lips taste sweet and he's like NO I MEAN-

you just kiss him again because now you get what he actually means LOL

hwiyoung

sulks when you're not around, and then doesn't go near you when you are around

it's like please make up your mind

is the definition of if i stare at you long enough you will fall in love with me right?

but he stares from ten feet away

it takes everyone all their strength to drag him out of his room when you're over and even then he puts his hoodie up and plays with his shoelaces and acts like he's a five year old

when he gets put next to you in the car ride somewhere he almost passes out from holding his breath from nervousness and you turn to him and you're like hwi you're turning purple?!?!?

you tap his shoulder when he isn't looking and call him hwi~ and he thinks his knees like. give out he crumbles to the floor and you're like oh my god are you sick??!?!!?

to put it simply, being in love forces him to lose his human ability to live

gets a pep talk from literally every member about how he cannot act like this. it's giving you the wrong impression and yet he just

he can't do anything about it you enter his personal space and the little nerves in his brain go haywire

"i don't want them to think im being rude, but it's kind of like im allergic to them."

"oh - you're allergic to me?"

hwiyoung turns and you're giving him a look and he's like oh god i mean - i don't - i mean like -

and he doesn't know what to say but you just giggle and you're like "fine, if you're allergic we'll have to make immune"

and he's like blinking like wha-

you wrap your hands around him and he's like !!!! and you're like here just take me in large doses until you build up immunity ok?

hwiyoung nodding because he has forgotten the entirety of the korean language

chani

realizes he's being freaking weird when he bails on his plans to eat and game to hang out with you

prioritizing social interaction over being alone in his room......now that's not normal

yes, ok, so he likes you - but now he's like

no one can ever know that. i will not be left alone if anyone finds out.

unfortunately, he asks jaeyoon of all people if he knows what food you like and jaeyoon is like

OH YOU WANNA ASK THEM ON A DATE RIGHT SO YOU WANNA LOOK UP RESTAURANTS WITH THAT FOOD RIGHT?

chani standing in the doorway like. what. no....

the minute chani starts picking the spot next to you when you're all together is his downfall

the entire world knows how he feels and he's like oh fuck seriously

he helps you go shopping and he comes home and every member is just like :) tell us about the date :)

and he's like SHUTTUP

calls you by a nickname and rowoon almost chokes on his food in surprise, because chani?????? gave someone???? a nickname????? and it isn't a combination of the word ass and hole?????

he cannot escape the fact that little things for others, are big things for him

being attentive and caring and even just smiling in your presence is enough to give away how he's feeling

let alone he dropped a rank in league so everyone is like ah - he's distracted with someone~!

it gets unbearable to a point where chani is like i cant live with these people always bothering me so im just going to confess

he pulls you aside and is like "i want to date you - is that ok?" and you're like of course, was wondering when you'd ask dummy and he's like,,,,,,listen,,,,

assumes the teasing will die down when you both come into the room holding hands

BUT OH IS HE WRONG

inseong: i got dibs on being the wedding planner, eat dirt youngbin

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animereaderinsertwriter · 3 years

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Cupbearer (Eren/Reader)

Part III

Part I

Part II

Part IV (in progress)

Warnings: MINORS DO NOT INTERACT (im watching you, if you see this, begone!), vampire!eren, hunter!reader, fem!reader, smut, some amount of predator/prey dynamics but only kinda?? there is also a significant age difference but only cos eren is immortal and all that jazz. we're all adults here. there will eventually be smut.... and do i really need to say that there's gonna be blood in a vampire fic?

Description: A story of falling in love in 4 parts.

Eren is a bad man (well, a bad Creature) who has done bad things. When he meets the great-great-great granddaughter of one of his former friends in his favorite blood bar, however, he thinks it might not matter so much what happened in the past, so long as he can make the future something worth living to see.

Ao3 link here

After that night, it became increasingly hard for (Y/N) to leave, and for Eren to let her do so.

Something between them had changed. There were moments— when Eren would press feather-light kisses against her forehead, when he would casually leave a cup of her favorite tea where she would find it— where (Y/N) felt as though her heart might burst. It was all the little things that baffled her, all the ways in which he seemed to understand exactly how she felt; it was as though he knew her more than she knew herself. On the mornings that she would wake in his bed, sleepy and sticky and wholly content, (Y/N) wondered what it would be like to have this life forever.

Other days— on days like today— she was reminded exactly why that could never be, and it broke her heart.

Today, they had planned a romantic dinner in the park, an evening under the stars. It was supposed to be something special, a little getaway just for the two of them; they had wanted to leave as soon as (Y/N) was relieved from her patrol, so Eren had moved her things to his place, hoping that they could leave together from there for their evening alone.

In and of itself, that was fine… but when (Y/N) came in, covered head-to-toe in viscous Creature blood, Eren was furious.

“And you call me a monster,” he growled, looking her up and down with hate in his eyes. “I can’t believe you.”

He stood from his seat on the sofa, and (Y/N) began to back away, still wary from the fight she had narrowly escaped from unscathed. Her every instinct told her that she should run, fire a round of silver bullets into his chest, but she steeled herself, doing neither.

“It’s not my fault— they were attacking a civilian,” she told him as he stalked towards her, his face twisted into a horrific scowl. “I tried to stop them— tried to find out what was going on— but then they came at me with their claws, and I was left with no choice.”

“There is always a choice,” he snarled, and it was then that anger filled (Y/N) from the soles of her feet to the crown of her head. "They were probably terrified of you— how could you possibly blame them for lashing out?"

(Y/N) grit her teeth.

“This, from the man who thought genocide was his only option to the same problem?”

Eren made a low, warning sound in the back of his throat, but (Y/N) pressed on.

“You would rather me have died?” she demanded, stepping into his space. “Would it have pleased you more for my body to bleed out on the pavement, ripped to shreds by an aggressive werewolf? Would you even care, or would you just find the next blood bag and move on with your life?”

“Maybe so,” he shot back, “Then I wouldn’t have to deal with your insufferable mouth.”

That stung— but if there was one thing (Y/N) knew how to do, it was to strike back twice as hard as she had been struck.

“Fine then,” she said, turning on her heel. “I won’t bother you any longer. I’ll go out and find someone who actually wants my company, someone who’ll fuck me good and proper over the counter at some hole-in-the-wall bar over on Easy Street, someone younger, with a nicer cock and less fucking baggage— ”

She didn’t get to finish the sentence, or even walk a single step further— Eren grabbed her by the hair and pulled her to him, his fist painfully tight against her scalp.

“Wanna say that again, to my face?” he asked, tilting her head back.

“I’ll go find someone else to fuck me,” she spat, struggling in vain against him. “I’ll spread my legs for the next available schmuck in the closest bar I can find, so you can hear me scream his name and not yours.”

It was a low blow, to threaten a vampire’s claim on something they had previously assumed had belonged to them, but (Y/N) didn’t care. She had almost died today, and she’d be damned if she was going to take shit from anyone about what she had to do to survive. If Eren wanted a fight, she would damn sure give him one.

“Like hell you will,” he told her, pulling her head back so that she had to strain to remain standing. “You’re mine. Flesh of my flesh, blood of my blood— you are my Companion.”

"I belong to no one!"

Those words ripped from her throat and echoed throughout the empty house, and it was then that Eren stopped, looking at her with calculation in his gaze.

"You're right," he said, releasing her hair. "No mortal can serve two masters, lest they love one and despise the other; an archaic religious concept, but an accurate one nonetheless. You've made it abundantly clear where your loyalty lies. I was a fool for thinking otherwise."

(Y/N) began to tremble. "Eren, what are you saying?"

"I release you from our pact," he replied coldly, his eyes so dull and lifeless that it sent a chill down her spine. "No longer are you bound to be my wine-press— I free you from me."

"Eren—"

"Go," he commanded, and (Y/N) felt terribly, horribly empty.

Once, he would have told her to come freely, go safely, and leave something of the happiness she brought him; now, he gave her a cold dismissal, and it frightened her more than she was willing to admit. Still, she went, feeling hollow and used, and she didn't bother to shut the door behind her as she turned to walk home, weary from the day and sick from fighting.

***

Armin had lived for a very long time, but even so, he had yet to meet anyone so foul of temper as Eren when the Hunger was on him.

"Eren, you have to feed."

The vampire, as ill in health as in temper, glared weakly at him. "I'm not hungry."

"But you are Hungry, and don't pretend like you don't know what I'm talking about. Look, if this is about that girl—"

"I told you not to speak of her!"

Ah, so it was about her. By the looks of him, it had been two weeks since Eren had fed; Armin would bet that he hadn't seen her in the same amount of time.

"If I need to, I'll drag her here to make up with you myself," said Armin testily, "I refuse to watch my best friend starve himself because he refuses to feed on anyone else."

"You will not touch her."

Armin rolled his eyes, but didn't say anything further. He just patted Eren's arm in farewell and set about finding the little lady who was the root cause of his current consternation.

It took longer than Armin had anticipated to find the young woman who had, for all intents and purposes, completely unraveled Eren's composure; her scent, while thick and memorable in Eren's apartment, was hard to track otherwise. Armin spent two hours just wandering the city while trying to catch a breath of it here or there, and when he finally did manage to catch a whiff of her scent and follow it to her, he understood exactly why it had been so hard to track her down.

The girl was a Hunter, of all things.

When Armin found her, she was knee-deep in sewage, her knife embedded to the hilt in the skull of what appeared to be some species of winged reptile. Armin, having been a tad desperate and not actually having been expecting to find anything when he lifted the lid to the man-hole on 32nd and Main, was surprised to say the least— and when (Y/N) ripped her knife free and readjusted her stance into a defensive one directed at him, his surprise turned to intrigue.

“Er, hello there,” he said, scratching the back of his head. “I don’t suppose you’ll take my word for it that I just want to chat, will you?”

Curiously, the words gave the woman pause. She relaxed her stance ever-so-slightly, and then her eyes lit up with recognition.

“Armin Arlert?” she queried, craning her neck up to see him. “Is that you?”

This one grows curiouser and curiouser, he thought, but responded affirmatively.

“Can you give me a bit, then?” she asked, kicking the corpse of the Creature she’d just killed. “I’m not exactly fit for company. Perhaps we could meet later for a discussion over tea?”

“I’m afraid it’s urgent,” he said as she knelt to decapitate her prey— likely for proof of victory. “I think you know why I’m here, so you understand that time is of the essence.”

She didn’t look up at him as she replied.

“If this is about Eren, then I don’t have time to talk.”

Her tone was hard, bitter, and matter-of-fact, and it reminded Armin so much of Jean that it hurt… but just like Jean, Armin would bet that she could be won over by appealing to her inherent sense of human decency

“He’s suffering (Y/N),” he said, awkwardly crouching above the manhole so that she could better see the truth written in his eyes. “He won’t feed.”

“That’s hardly my problem.”

And oh, how well Armin knew that state of mind. If there was one thing Eren Jaeger knew how to do, it was push away the people who loved him most. Armin had dealt with that particularly lovely quirk of his for centuries, and it never got easier to deal with no matter how much time passed. If anything, it got more difficult the older they both got.

“When you’re the solution to a problem, you become a part of it whether you like it or not,” Armin replied, patient and understanding. “He cares for you.”

(Y/N) looked up at him then, fury in her eyes.

“He hurt me.”

Armin shrugged. “He hurts everyone he cares about. It’s just who he is. Nothing comes for free— least of all the love and loyalty of someone as old and as powerful as Eren.”

“Your heart may be toughened to his meanness,” she told him, the head of the creature she’d slain in her hands, “But mine is not, and I don’t like him well enough to willfully remain for him to use as an emotional punching bag.”

At that, Armin couldn’t help but let loose a wry grin.

“No,” he said, “I should think not; but I do think you love him well enough to make sure he doesn’t starve himself to death because he can’t have you.”

(Y/N) was silent for a long moment, then she crossed her arms.

“I won’t come crawling to him. He’s going to have to come to me.”

Armin grimaced. He wasn’t looking forward to that conversation.

“Is that at all negotiable?”

(Y/N) shook her head. “Absolutely not.”

Well, there was nothing for it.

“And you will let him feed if he comes to you?”

(Y/N) thought, then nodded. “If he proves himself deserving.”

Armin couldn't help himself; he laughed. Eren might have met his match in this one.

"Very well. I'll work my magic, and you work yours."

She nodded and bade him farewell, but before Armin left, he paused.

"Hey, (Y/N)?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you."

With that, he left her, ready to take Eren by the ear and throw him at her if he had to.

***

(Y/N)'s heart was racing as she opened the door, knowing good and well who would be behind it.

After her little talk with Armin— and the near heart attack he had given her in the process— she had called in to Zeke and told him she needed to go home to deal with an emergency. A replacement for her patrols had been sent, and she had come home to wash the grim from her skin, making herself as presentable as possible with the time she had. (Y/N) was worried, so worried, that the filth she had been wading in earlier would have left a lingering stench, or even that it had affected the taste of her; she had scrubbed and scrubbed until her skin was raw, hoping to erase every last remnant of her day from her skin…but as it turned out, she needn't have bothered.

Two, three, four hours later, and Eren hadn't shown— it was only now, right at the six hour mark, that he had decided to come to her.

Needless to say, (Y/N) was… less than pleased, but when she opened the door to find Eren pale and drawn, with dark circles beneath his eyes, her heart softened ever-so-slightly. It seemed that Armin was right; he had been suffering.

"You look like shit," she told him quietly, opening her door widely to let him in.

"I assure you, I feel worse," Eren grumbled, but stepped in as she closed the door behind him.

For a long, awkward moment, they just looked at each other, silent and unsure. It was unsettling how unlike himself Eren seemed; he was almost soft when he looked at her, and (Y/N) didn't know how to feel about it. Eventually, though, like two opposite ends of a magnet, they were drawn together, and Eren brushed a piece of hair back from her face.

"Hi," he said, his voice low and rough. (Y/N) caught his hand in hers before it could fall from her hair, and she pressed it against her chest, keeping it trapped there, touching the skin above her beating heart.

"Hey."

They watched each other a moment more before the dam broke between them, and they both spoke at once.

"I'm sorry."

A shared grin, a shy laugh— and then (Y/N) said what they both were thinking.

"You need to feed first, and talk later," she told him, her hand still clasped in his. "You're not off the hook, but I doubt we can have any real conversation with you like this."

Eren nodded gratefully, tugging at her wrist— his usual biting spot— but (Y/N) shook her head, indicating her neck. The thickest, richest blood, she knew, would come from there; and if there was ever a time to be generous with the placement of Eren's bite, she figured that it would be now.

The worst of it was over quickly. There was a brief sting at the intrusion of razor-sharp fangs, and then the vaguely uncomfortable feeling of having something poking down into places that decidedly should not be poked at all, but then (Y/N) quickly eased into the rhythm of the act, focusing wholly on the way Eren's lips felt against her skin. In a few moments, she would become pleasantly light-headed, and then Eren would pull away and look at her like she'd hung the stars. Oh, how she'd missed that look! (Y/N) found herself longing for it even before she quite realized it.

And then, without warning, a vision came, and (Y/N) was swept into another world entirely.

The evening sky rolled endlessly out towards the horizon; it seemed to go on forever, sparkling with more stars than (Y/N) had ever seen before. The full moon was so bright that it cast the whole world in what seemed like silver sunlight, and (Y/N) wondered how anyone could sleep on a night such as this. It was far too beautiful an experience to miss.

Alongside her— alongside Eren, through whose eyes she saw the world— strode Armin and two older-looking cadets who she recognized from previous memories as Reiner and Berthold. Eren was feeling anxious over something, and Reiner and Berthold were… well, they were kind. Reiner especially seemed to be like an older brother, and Eren admired him.

"You'll do just fine tomorrow," said Reiner, placing a large, warm hand on Eren's shoulder. "I'm certain of it."

The memory ended, and (Y/N) came back to herself as Eren's tongue laved over the wounds his fangs had left in her neck, sealing them.

"See anything?" he asked, his breath warm against her skin, and (Y/N) nodded.

"You loved them, too," she said softly, remembering the fondness Eren had felt as though it had been her own. "You loved the Hunters that tried to take everything from you, and— and I think they loved you, too."

Eren pulled away from her, and it was then that she saw the tears shining in his eyes.

"Yes," he replied, his voice broken. "We were children. How could we not love each other as God intended? Hate was never in our nature; it was an inheritance that we couldn't escape."

He paused for a moment, then spoke again.

"I'm sorry I hurt you," he told her, cupping her cheek in his hand. "I lost my temper. I forget— I forget that you're not them."

And (Y/N) understood. She understood that no matter how many centuries passed, there would be wounds that just wouldn't heal for Eren. He would lash out at things that wouldn't make sense to anyone who hadn't experienced the horrors of war as he had. Suddenly, she felt petty for having lashed out as she had, and guilt threatened to rise up and choke her.

"You're forgiven," she replied, leaning into his touch. "It takes two to tango— I shouldn't have baited you like I did. I knew how badly that would hurt you, and that's exactly why I said it."

At that, Eren cracked a grin.

"I expect nothing less from a Kirschtein. Your grandfather would have punched me square in the jaw— and as big as that bastard got when we were older, he probably would have put me on my ass."

(Y/N) couldn't help but laugh, and Eren joined her, their combined joy swelling until there was nothing else in the world but their happiness.

How they started kissing, neither one of them would be able to say afterwards, but in the grand scheme of things, it hardly mattered. Their love was too large to contain, too much to hold back— and it was love, (Y/N) realized, though she hadn't quite put words to it yet. She loved Eren Jaeger, a Creature, a monster, as much as her grandfather before her had and more. She loved him with a desperation that felt like being knocked over by an ocean wave and plunged into depths where her feet no longer touched the sand. She loved him more than she had ever loved anyone before.

And, as he placed her gently on her bed that was barely big enough for two, divesting himself of his shirt above her, (Y/N) thought that maybe she didn't mind it so much as long as he loved her in return.

"I missed you," said Eren, dropping kisses by her ear as he unhooked her bra. "I missed this."

"Me too," she gasped as his mouth wandered to her nipple, her hands fisting in his hair. "Oh, God, I missed you too."

The time for words was soon gone, however; Eren's sinful, sinful mouth traveled lower and lower until he was kissing at the insides of her thighs, parting them to access what lay between, and (Y/N) threw her head back as he spread her open with his hands and sucked brazenly at her clit.

How long he spent there, worshipping her sex, (Y/N) had no idea; all she knew was that she came once from his mouth on her and a second time from his fingers inside her, and when he finally, mercifully withdrew, she was broken down to the simplest parts of herself; there was nothing left but an affection so deep that it threatened to overtake her if she didn't let it out, and she did the only thing she knew to do to release the overwhelming pressure that was building in her chest as Eren pushed his big, veiny cock into her.

She told him what she should have said a long time ago.

"Oh, Eren," she gasped as his cockhead shoved deep inside her. "I love you."

As soon as the words came out of her mouth, Eren went unnaturally still. He looked at her with pupils blown wide inside emerald eyes, and his fangs slightly distended; in any other situation, (Y/N) might have laughed at how surprised he seemed, but it seemed as though she were frozen in time, unable to do anything but stare earnestly up at them, hoping he understood how much she cared for him.

"You… what?"

"I love you," she repeated, her body moving without her permission to roll her hips up into him, moving his cock even further inside her. "Please, Eren, I need—"

He cut her off with a forceful, bruising kiss, and his hips started making slow, deep thrusts inside her, her legs hiked up over his shoulders.

"Again," he said against her lips."Say it again."

"I love you."

Another thrust or two, a hand circling her wounded throat.

"Again."

"I love you, Eren."

"Again."

This time, it was only a whisper.

"I love you," she said, and Eren began fucking her in earnest.

"You are so fucking beautiful," he told her as he thrust hard and deep inside her. "You're every man's dream, a nirvana the damned such as myself were never meant to reach. (Y/N), you are everything, and I—"

He seemed to choke on the words, and (Y/N) kissed him as he tried to regain his composure.

"I don't deserve you," he said, shaking with the force of their passion. "I don't deserve your love."

It's not about deserving, she wanted to say, It never was, but then she was coming again, her climax contracting her walls around her lover, and it was all she could do to remain conscious as Eren fucked her relentlessly through it all, chasing his own high.

It was only later, after a shower and something to eat that they finally spoke again. They were back in bed, and Eren's arm was wrapped around her, as though he were afraid to let her go for even a moment; truthfully, (Y/N) thought he was asleep, but then his breath tickled her ear as he said,

"I love you, angel."

And that, (Y/N) thought, had been worth it all, in the end.

#aot x y/n #aot x reader #aot #aot fanfiction #eren x reader #vampire!eren jaeger #aot smut

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takahero · 3 years

Text

in honour of finishing inkspell, here are some basta observations I picked up along the way. also, inkspell spoilers warning! i also have MANY MANY thoughts so i’d love to hear what you guys think to some of the questions raised

“He hadn’t changed: the same thin face, the same way of narrowing his eyes, and there was an amulet dangling around his neck to ward off the bad luck that Basta thought lurked under every ladder, behind every bush.” — pg.138

“Basta’s left hand was bandaged, Elinor noticed when he took his fingers away from her mouth.” — pg.139

“‘I’d have been here much sooner, believe you me, but they put me in jail for a while on account of something that happened years ago. No sooner was Capricorn gone than all the people who’d been too scared to open their mouths suddenly felt very brave.’” — pg.140 (see they never tell us WHY he was in prison, do they? the possibilities are endless. we know he committed atrocious things, like arson, but imagine if he got put in jail for something completely different…LOL)

“‘You wouldn’t believe how often I’ve told him there’s nothing to be ashamed of in going to jail, particularly when your prisons here are so much more comfortable than our dungeons at home.’” — pg.140 (OHHHTMGOD MEME IDEA)

“Basta flung his arm so roughly round Orpheus’ neck that his glasses slipped down his nose.” — pg.141

“‘Hold your tongue, Basta!’ Mortola interrupted him abruptly. ‘You’ve always liked the sound of your own voice.’” — pg.141

“‘Well, Silvertongue, I’m sorry it’s taken some time,’ he said in his soft, cat-like voice.” — pg.180

“‘My son always said revenge was a dish best eaten cold,’ observed Mortola.” — pg.181 (question. did basta find out about mortola’s true identity between inkheart & inkspell? do u think he realised it when mortola cried when capricorn died?)

“Basta passed a finger over his throat and winked at him.” — pg.186 (wink 2 LMAO)

“Basta bent down and picked up a rusty helmet lying at his feet. ‘What do you expect me to say?’ he growled, throwing the helmet back into the grass with a gloomy expression, and giving it a kick that sent it clattering against the wall. ‘Of course it’s our castle. Didn’t you see the figure of the goat on the wall there? Even the carved devils are still standing, though they wear ivy crowns now — and look, there’s one of the eyes that Slasher liked to paint on the stones.’” — pg.190

“‘So Basta was right after all. He’s dead, here and in the other world too.’” — pg.191 (interesting….so Basta knew Mortola’s plan wouldn’t work? he just wanted a ride home?)

“‘I’d really like to know what happened!’ he muttered. ‘I always said Capricorn wasn’t here, but what about the others?…What are we going to do if they’re all gone?’ Basta sounded like a boy afraid of the dark. ‘Do you want us to live in a cave like brownies until the wolves find us? Have you forgotten the wolves? And the Night-Mares, the fire-elves, all the other creatures crawling around the place…I for one haven’t forgotten them, but you would come back to this accursed spot where there are ghosts lurking behind every tree!’ He reached for the amulet dangling around his neck, but Mortola did not deign to look at him.

“‘Oh, be quiet!’ she said, so sharply that Basta flinched.” — pg.192

“‘You’re going to leave them here?’ That was Basta’s voice.” — pg.193 (at first I was like oh so he has a heart….but then he was mean to resa straight after this 🙄)

“‘Sorry, but he must have overlooked me, shut up in that cage as I was,’ purred Basta in his catlike voice.” — pg.377

“‘Wasn’t it Mortola who had you put in the cage to be fed to the Shadow?’ Basta just shrugged his shoulders and flung back his silver-grey cloak. Of course, he had his knife. A brand new one, it seemed, finer than any he’d ever had in the other world, and undoubtedly just as sharp.

“‘Yes, not very nice of her,’ he said as his fingers caressed the handle of the knife. ‘But she’s really sorry.’” — pg.377 (okay so it SOUNDS like he threatened/made some kind of bargain with his knife, but I strongly doubt that considering how afraid he seems of her?? i know he’s technically working for the adderhead but even by the end of the book, it seems he is far closer to mortola than adderhead. what is their relationship? or does he sincerely think she’s sorry/has deluded himself into believing such? UGH SO MANY QUESTIONS)

“Basta had always liked describing his own and other people’s abominable deeds in detail.” — pg.378

“‘But we’re not going to shoot you.’ Basta came a little closer to Fenoglio, his face as intent as that of a stalking cat.” — pg.378 …. living for all the cat references tbh

“‘He wants you to crawl on your belly to him, that’s what our noble lord and master likes. But never mind, he pays well!’” — pg.378 (yes basta all abt getting that bread LMAOOOO)

“He slowly drew the knife from his belt. Its blade was long and slightly curved.” — pg.379

“‘Hey Basta, I know you like the sound of your own voice.’” — pg.379 (AHAHAHAHA HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE CALLED OUT BASTA ON THIS NOW? IVE LOST TRACK)

“With a regretful sigh, Basta put the knife back in his belt. ‘Yes, very well, you’re right,’ he said in surly tones. ‘I need to take my time with this sort of thing. Questioning people is an art, a real art.’” — pg.380 (LMAOOOOOOO HE IS SUCH A DRAMA QUEEN)

“Basta. The same thin face, the same twisted smile. Only the clothes were different. Basta was no longer wearing his white shirt and black suit with the flower in his buttonhole. No, Basta now wore the Adderhead’s silvery grey, and he had a sword at his side. With a knife in his belt too, of course. But he was holding a dead chicken in his left hand.” — pg. 455

“‘Yes, they are!’ purred Basta. ‘The little witch, and the fire-eater into the bargain. It was well worth the wait. Even though I’ll probably never get that damned flour out of my lungs again.’” — pg.455 (ok….so who’s gonna draw basta sitting amongst the flour AAHHAHA)

“‘Servant? Who’s a servant here? Just listen to him. As bold as if he’d never felt my knife! Have you forgotten how you screamed when it cut your face?’” — pg.457 … don’t call basta a servant…..noted

“‘Oh, don’t look so disbelieving, little witch, I still can’t read and I don’t intend to learn, but there are enough fools around the place who can, even in this world.’” —pg. 457 (i wonder how much capricorn influenced basta’s views on reading. because capricorn said that he learnt how to read from a maid, right? so basta certainly wouldn’t have trash-talked reading in front of him. and even after living in OUR world for nine years, I’m still surprised that he never attempted to learn, given how dependent we are on it. anyway my headcanon is that he secretly wants to, but doesn’t want to give others the satisfaction of knowing they have something he doesn’t. also nobody he knows would be willing to teach him (unless he threatened them) bc of his obviously violent and short-tempered nature…and learning requires so much patience. still, though, would love a fic of basta being taught how to read in secret and having some kind of positive interaction)

“‘You’re even more talkative than you used to be, Basta.’ Dustfinger’s voice sounded as if he found this tedious.” — pg.458 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH IM DYING. honestly the animosity between them was just. A+++

“Basta was in an even worse state. He was sitting close to Mortola, his face so red and swollen that Meggie almost failed to recognise him. But he had escaped death once again. Perhaps the good-luck charms he always wore worked after all.” — pg.526

“The sunlight falling into the room made Basta’s face look like a boiled lobster.” — pg.575

“Basta put his hand to the amulet hanging around his neck. It was not a rabbit’s paw, as he had worn in Capricorn’s service, but something that looked suspiciously like a human finger-bone.” — pg.581 (THIS STILL IRKS ME SO MUCH)

“The Piper straightened his back, as ready to attack as the viper on his master’s coat of arms…He was a good head taller than Basta.” — pg.582 WHY DO I KEEP FORGETTING HES NOT TALL LMFAO

“The two men were standing so close that the blade of Basta’s knife wouldn’t have fitted between them.” — pg.582 HAHAHAJAHAAJAHAHHAAHAHAHAH PKESJENE I LOVE THIS SO MUCH … IMAGINE BASTA SQUARING UP W HIS NOSE JUST SMACK BANG IN THE MIDDLE OF PIPER’S CHEST OR SOMETHING

“The Piper struck Basta in the face so hard that his head hit the door frame. Blood ran down his burned cheek in a trail of red. He wiped it away with the back of his hand. ‘Take care to avoid dark corridors, Piper!’ he whispered. ‘You don’t have a nose any more, but one can always find something else to cut off.’” — pg.582-583 THIS SCENE WAS SIMPLY……CHEF’S KISS

are you serious is he dead??? WHAT. okay I knew dustfinger’s love for farid would be the end of him and basta being the instrument to rip that away from him was totally heartrending. i WISH it had been more climactic? like dustfinger unleashing his fury and fighting basta, blind with anger and grief. THE DIALOGUE POTENTIAL BETWEEN THEM AS THEY FINALLY TALK ONE-ON-ONE, and then some revisiting of the scene where dustfinger has the opportunity to kill basta but AGAIN withholds because killing is not in his nature….THEN MO IN SHINING ARMOUR SWOOPS IN TO DO THE JOB

now, off to inkdeath!

#inkspell #inkspell spoilers #basta #inkheart trilogy #BASTAAAAAA

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kissme-hs · 3 years

Text

Tainted love: 3

Here it is!! I’m so sorry it took me so long to update it but let me know what you think! Hope you enjoy it.

~Ria

Pairing: Fem! Reader x Chris Evans

Warnings: None.

*_*_*_*_*_*

Hatred is far from the feeling you felt. You were disgusted. Utterly disgusted with the man you put your trust and faith and your heart into who did nothing but took it for granted and it all into little crumbs of pain. All this time you blamed yourself for HIS actions that he not only did while being in his complete sense but knowing how wrong it is-continued doing it. The image you had of Chris in your mind now vanished, the man you once thought deserved to be prayed now made your stomach churn because of how shameful he turned out to be.

After sending him the text you thought, oh you thought that he would realize what he lost, that he would feel a little bit at least of regret in the back of his head but you were so wrong. It not only made you feel worthless but made you realize instead how your love meant nothing to him, how all those years you spent in each other’s arm vowing to each other to be in love until the end of time was nothing but a lie to him. Where to you it meant your entire life.

One doesn’t stay with a person for three years not to just fuck and say I love you’s for fun. With the years the feelings grow strong and at some point, you start fantasizing marrying that person, having kids with the person, grow old with the person. But when one decides to go and cheat, putting all the years of love in ignorance and throwing it all in the pit of darkness not only everything changes but the dreams once knitted by the eyes of the one who remained faithful in love, who was the true lover gets struck by the lightening of reality. And once the dreams crashes, it becomes nearly impossible to dream again because the dreamer starts seeing the real world.

Fuck dreams.

Became your to go motto ever since you knocked on his door.

The heavy teal door opened after a few knocks as you held your breath getting yourself ready to face the man who ripped your heart apart. But instead you were met by a pair of green eyes, gorgeous eyes. She stood there in his hoodie and a pair of short showing her perfect toned legs. Her dirty blonde hair and fuller plumps would made any man lose his girl and go crawling to her. She was an absolute piece of art.

“Chris we have someone here for you” She yelled leaning back a bit so the man could hear her. She gave you a side smile as a gesture of kindness. She was aware she was a homewrecker, she knew how much Chris loved you and she also knew being a good friend she should’ve stopped him when things became a routine between them two but she couldn’t say no to him. Chris would make any women go crawling to him too. She was equally shameful for what she has done not as close to how Chris was feeling but still. So when Chris asked her to come over explaining her what happen which she knew would some day she didn’t hesitate coming over comforting him.

“i-im Samantha” she replied stepping aside letting you step inside of your his house. The smell of familiar cologne and candles hit your nostrils making you tear up from the past good memories. Gi ving her a tiniest sad smile and a nod, you stepped inside of the house. Turning your gaze up to the sound of approaching footsteps you saw the man, and oh sweet jesus you thought you’d hate him but how could you when the feeling of love was always greater than hatred. But the pain crept up when you saw Samantha walking to him and rubbing his side comforting him, though she was guilty, she still at some point enjoyed the attention Chris gave her.

Though she might have a portion of kindness in her heart she was known for breaking homes. She was used to getting in pants of men who were committed. It made her feel special; it made her feel like gold that everyone loved chasing. Especially in this case, knowing what a prize Chris’s girlfriend, you were she was over the moon. She loved how Chris was willing to give up a beautiful woman with a proper job and who had her life sorted for someone who was nothing compared to you.

“Y/n” he breathed out ignoring the woman rubbing his arm. His eyes getting wet seeing your face after days. Jeez only if he could kiss you and tell you how much he missed you and loved you.

“I-im sorry, I’m so sorry” He said walking to you as you raised your hand telling him to stop, which he understood nodding his head and taking a step back. He felt the ache in his heart.

“He really is sorry, he told me everything after you texted him so I came running” Samantha uttered rubbing Chris’s back. It did nothing to you but made your blood boil as you closed your eyes and took a deep breath not wanting to say something which could hurt her feelings. Opening your mouth telling her to leave you heard Chris say that instead.

“Can I ask you to leave please?” He asked her taking a deep breath trying not to yell either.

“I-“

“Get out, get off my property” you spat. You and Chris jointly brought this house so you wouldn’t feel a burden on him being the independent woman you were. Feeling like she was shamed in front of two successful people, Samantha gathered her stuff and left within the next coming minute. Though you were a softie, there was no doubt you has a powerful side too.

“I’m sorry baby, I am so sorry. Please give me a second chance.”

“Why Chris? Why did you cheat on me? Was my love was not enough for you to sleeping with her. Tell me Chris did you not feel a little bit of shame fucking on OUR bed? Tell me why did you have to go and do that making me look like a fool? Why did you waste my time? WHY DID YOU FAKED THE LOVE if you wanted to cheat?” You finally let it out. You were crying at this not giving a fuck. He deserved to see how broken he left you. You were not going to act like everything was fine, like you didn’t care when you felt dead inside.

“No. No baby. Never for once I ever faked my love for you.” He cried cupping your cheeks-you finally let him touch you because you wanted to feel his warmth on your cold skin. His own eyes crying as you sobbed yourself.

“I-I don’t know why I did that. I don’t know why I decided to chase a rock when I had the most precious diamond. She is nothing compared to you. Nothing. I love you so much” He whispered resting his forehead against yours. You knew deep down he meant what he said. You felt the words hitting your body making your knees go week but it was for the best. The separation. So pushing him back slightly you gathered your broken pieces up.

“I just came to tell you that I am moving to California. I will always cherish the good memories you gave me” you gave him a broken smile wiping your tears with the back of your hand.

“No please give me one more chance” Chris pleaded grabbing your hands. His defeated eyes begged yours to give in, to see that he wasn’t lying anymore. That he was truly sorry for what he has done but being the strong headed woman you are, you shook your head and wiped his tears with your hand before cupping his cheek.

“It’s for the best. I still love you, but it’s not the same Chris. Let me let you go”

That was an year ago. An year ago you left the man standing on his porch as you turned your back on his forever, making your way to the new life that waited ahead of you in Los Angeles. The city of angels. The city that gave you a chance to put your words into songs, let your shattered voice sing it in a melody helping you reach out to him without reaching out to him.

And today you stood in front of over 100 amazing successful celebrities who warmly welcomed you in the family of Hollywood and decided to join you for your album launch party. You didn’t hesitate writing down your deepest condolences you had for yourself and singing it out. Every word people heard in the songs came from the bottom of your heart. Came within the true feeling of getting lost and found again.

Getting into the industry wasn’t hard for you. You were already a known person working for Hollywood and it not only being the reason how you met Chris it also gave you an opportunity to let your talent out. All those months you spent working hard to get acceptance by one of the music producers was the time when Chris was fucking Samantha. Only if he stayed the night you begged him to, he would’ve known it all.

Your album was dedicated to Chris. No one knew expect you. No one could know anyways.

Stepping down the mini platform where you expressed you gratitude to the audience you made your way to where the bar was set up to drink in the emotions that were bubbling up your throat from all the love you received to the pain that still ached in every nerve in your body. It was impossible to erase the memory of him fucking Samantha from your head. You were proud to you say you tried. Tried every way of escaping his face haunting your dreams every night. The feelings choking you down. The pain eating you alive. But you couldn’t.

“What you said there was beautiful.” You heard the deep voice of the man who you left standing on the door of Boston an year ago. Turning your body around, mentally preparing yourself for the wave of mixed emotions to hit you like a truck you faced his adorningly beautiful face. His beard looked fuller and his hair fluffier. He looked the same but his eyes looked dead, just like they were when you left.

“Thank you.” You gave him a broken smile.

“Can we talk? Please?” He asked you with eyes full of hope and you nodded letting him guide you out to the balcony that had the perfect view of the city. He deserved some time with you after an year of you completely blocking him out. He deserved to know that the words coming out of your mouth in the song were written about him.

“It about you, you know. The album” You said walking over to the railing looking at the illuminous city.

“I figured, I never knew you were working on something so big.” He stood beside you.

“You would have if you stayed”

“Listen, I’m not going to waste any more time. Im here to beg you back in life, I am sorry for what I have done but please give me a chance. That one year spent without you was my living hell. Everyday I prayed for you to come back but you never did and there’s no question why. I am a horrible man but I promise if you let me prove it that I am so much better than I was I wont let you down. I will love you even more than I ever have” he said with a soft voice guilt dripping with every word he spoke making you turn around to face him. His eyes glistening with tears and his hands holding each other in front of his chest.

Man was literally begging you.

“Hey you are not a horrible man.” You whispered walking to him as you put his hands down and held his one cheek in your hand. He instantly nuzzled his nose feeling your skin after days of being away from you. His knees were giving away and so was his heart.

“We all make mistakes but learning from them and moving on is important. I forgave you the minute I stepped away from our relationship. You’re nothing but still the most precious man I ever had” you said. Your own eyes picking the tears.

“then give me a chance” he spoke kissing your palm staring down In your eyes making your belly turn in knots.

“I cant. I have moved on Chris” You said breaking his heart. He breathed out biting his lower lip as he looked on. He never felt so defeated and helpless. But this is what he deserved for throwing away the best he ever had. For not respecting the beautiful relationship and woman he was meant to guard. He opened his mouth but the lump in his throat got in the way. He could just break down.

“Then let me be your friend. I just want to be in your life. Make up for what I’ve missed. Please don’t say no.” He trembled in fear you would reject him but instead you nod your head and pull him in a hug knowing he would break if you didn’t. Still knowing him like the back of your head you gave in his request hoping you could contain the emotions.

It is said, two who once fell in love can never be friends. Once in love, always in love.

So you stood there holding him, closed your eyes letting the man calm his cries. Falling back in the chakra of tainted love.

Tags

@captainchrisstan

@evansphnx12

@adriannajackson

#chris evans x wife!reader #chris evansxreader #chris evans headers #chris evans x y/n #chris evans x you #chris evans x reader #chris evans imagines #chris evans fandom #cevans

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johnnycranes · 3 years

Text

[reupload cuz i decided to post this chapter here as well since i met a lot of new people in the fc5 fandom recently <3]

next chapter of Some Kind of Second Chance is up. special shoutout to all my mutuals who tagged me in WIPs and to the amazing @desertvvitch who motivated me to post this thing!!

Whole thing is up on AO3

Word count: 3,364

Chapter 6: Revelations and Rifles

When Sydney came to, part of her hoped the hit she took to the head also knocked her memory back. But nope, still didn’t know who the voices in her head were.

She opened her eyes and the first thing she saw was a wall decorated with different pictures of the Seed family and of Eden’s Gate. Next thing she noticed was that she was sitting on the floor and her wrists were bound in front of her to a metal pipe, kept in place with a ziplock tie.

She looked down at herself and saw she was still dressed in the shorts and tank top she was in when she left her cabin, the only thing missing was her jacket.

Looking around a bit more, it didn’t appear to be like any of the cabins in the compound. More like the inside of a trailer house. Something glinted on the floor and Sydney realized there were shards of glass littered around the room of what looked like a small trailer. If she could just reach out for a sharp enough piece, she could find a way to cut open the ziplock tie.

Whoever took her clearly didn’t think this all the way through, practically handing her a means to escape.

Oh shit, or was this some kind of creepy Saw thing? Either way she wasn’t going to stick around to find out.

She stretched her leg and started pushing a few shards towards her with her foot. Thankfully her captors were also kind enough to leave her sneakers on.

Sydney was able to drag some shards close to her when she heard a door open. She hid the shards under her legs quickly as the footsteps of whoever arrived got louder.

Two men wearing Eden’s Gate clothes walked into the room, sneering at her as soon as they spotted her. They didn’t look like anyone she knew.

“Good morning, sunshine.” The one with long unruly hair said.

“So sorry if we kept ‘ya waitin.” The bald one said.

Sydney shook her head. “Oh not at all. Just woke up actually. Comfy floor here.”

“The fuck?” Long-hair asked.

“You have any idea why you’re here, girlie?” bald one asked, and Sydney assumed he was trying to sound intimidating.

“Why bother? You’re gonna explain it to me anyway ri-”

The bald one slammed the butt of his rifle onto her knee. She groaned in pain, but made sure not to lift her leg so much as to make sure the glass was still hidden.

Hopefully they leave her alone again so she could escape.

It was safe to assume these two were part of the group of soldiers who didn’t like her. So Sydney’s only other option of getting out was someone in the compound noticing she was missing, unless of course the two idiots who captured her were actually smart enough to cover their tracks.

How long was she out? All she could tell from the light coming in from the window was that it was daytime.

“You have the guts to speak to us like that? After all you did, sinner.” Long-hair snarled the last word at her.

Sydney rolled her eyes. “Like I said, still waiting for you to fucking explain.” As far as she was concerned, they could even be Resistance agents in disguise who waited for the perfect chance to strike.

But then again, why target her and not the Seed family?

“You think yer so clever, fooling even the Father with yer fake amnesia bullshit.” Bald guy said.

Sydney huffed out a dry laugh. “Trust me, I wish it was fake. Maybe then I’ll know why you two assholes are pulling stupid shit like this.”

“Enough!” Long-hair yelled. “How dare you. How dare you think we can just accept you into our family, attend sermons with us, all because you supposedly forgot.”

“I did.” Sydney emphasized. “You can ask the doctor, he-”

“You just don’t forget the people you killed!”

Sydney froze.

She what?

The silence was deafening and that’s when the voices attacked. Screams, cries, incoherent shouts, gunshots, explosions, fires. They all invaded her mind.

Her blood ran cold, her hands started shaking and her head was throbbing.

She couldn’t freak out, not now. She tried to keep her breathing under control, long enough to ask, “What?” but it came out so pathetic and soft that she wasn’t surprised when they cackled at her.

Long-hair walked in circles around the room as he narrowed his eyes at her. “Killed. Put a bullet in their heads, threw dynamite at them, hell even cracked open their skulls with a fucking shovel!” He stopped in front of her and tightened his fists. “They were my friends! They gave their lives to protect the Father from you. And now he claims you’ll protect us?”

His fist collided with her cheek. He hit hard but it was better than him using the butt of his rifle.

Or actually shooting her with said rifle.

Sydney slowly turned her head back to face them, ignoring the throbbing in her cheek. She could thank him, actually. At least it distracted her enough to calm down a bit.

There were still so many questions she wanted to ask, but asking her captors may not be the greatest idea.

Their friends? So she killed people from the Project?

She instantly thought of Elena, Trevor and Benjamin.

Who did she kill? Why did she kill? And if she did kill people from Eden’s Gate, why was Joseph okay with her staying on?

Then she remembered the Father’s words the day she arrived at the compound.

So now you shall atone.

Oh fuck. Is that what she was atoning for?

He struck her again. “You are a sinner unworthy of joining us at Eden’s Gate! We will avenge our fallen brothers and sisters, we wi-”

“That’s enough, Kevin.” the bald one said as Kevin punched her once more, on the same cheek and Sydney had to spit blood out.

Kevin backed away from her to face his companion. “She deserves a lot more punishment for everyone she’s killed, Norm. You know that.”

Norm sighed. “We got lucky capturing her when we did. But people will wonder where she is soon so we gotta kill her now.”

Even though her face stung and she had to blink a few times for her vision to steady, she was conscious enough to hear what they said. Sydney knew she was running out of time. If she wanted to escape, she had to do it quickly.

With both her captors distracted and turned away from her, she shifted her legs, feeling the cool glass underneath as she inched them closer to her wrists. She dragged her hands down the pipe and closer to the floor, slowly so as to not get their attention.

Some of the shards cut the inside of her leg but it didn’t matter. She could bandage them up when she was free. She couldn’t bandage a bullet hole to the brain.

Sydney finally got one shard close enough to her hands. She stretched her fingers to grab it and fiddled with it as quickly and as subtly as possible.

Thankfully Kevin and Norm were still busy arguing.

“It’s not enough to just kill her and get it over with!” Kevin yelled. “She showed no remorse, so why should we?”

“Because if they catch us we-”

“Rook! Rook, you here?” All three of them froze when they heard a voice from outside the trailer.

Sydney didn’t know whether to feel relieved or frightened when she recognized it as Benjamin’s voice. She couldn’t just scream for help. What if he didn’t have a weapon with him? What if they shot him first? Or shoot her then him?

She hid the broken glass in her hand, closing it in a fist.

“Shit. I told you we shoulda killed her right away, Kev!” Norm hissed.

“Shut the fuck up and let me think!”

Benjamin yelled again. “C’mon, Rook. You better not have left the island.” His voice sounded closer that time.

Kevin took two shallow breaths and gripped his rifle tightly. “All right new plan. We kill ‘im both.”

Fuck this wasn’t good.

Sydney chanced using the shard again. She needed to get rid of them before they hurt her and Benjamin.

“What?” Norm whispered nervously.

“He’s gonna come in regardless.” Kevin said. “I’ll shoot ‘im soon as he opens the door. Then we shoot her. Ain’t that what you wanted?”

Norm shook his head. “We don’t kill our own, brother.”

“I’m the one doin’ the work. I’ll be the one to accept atonement for this. Now stay here, keep your gun on ‘er.”

Kevin left the room quietly… on his way to kill her friend.

Something inside Sydney snapped.

She saw visions of herself breaking necks and cracking bones. She couldn’t see the faces of those she killed, but there were so many. She could easily kill Norm now, free herself with the broken glass then slice his neck open or stab him in the vocal cords.

She knew she could do it. Then she could shoot Kevin easily right before he got to Benjamin.

She could.

But she wouldn’t.

If she was a killer before- and by the sudden wave of images that invaded her head, she really was - she wasn’t one now.

Norm wasn’t focused on her, instead staring out the room probably at Kevin, looking like a nervous wreck. And to think he took a cheap shot to her knee just a while ago.

Sydney took that chance to finally cut through the ziptie. She didn’t waste any time and went straight for a still fidgeting and panicking Norm.

No killing.

So she stabbed his hand with the broken shard before he could react and fight back. He screamed as he dropped his rifle and Sydney grabbed it.

She heard Kevin yell ‘What the hell!’ from out in the corridor but she ignored it. Too busy getting her revenge on Norm by slamming his head with the butt of his own rifle, effectively knocking him out.

She took cover by the wall beside the open doorframe and yelled ��Benjamin you better have your damn gun with you!” at the top of her lungs.

“Rook?!” Benjamin called from outside.

Then she instinctively ducked her head when bullets whizzed by her. “You fucking bitch!” Kevin screamed over the gunshots.

She checked the ammo of her own gun and thanked Norm for having it fully loaded.

If Kevin was still inside the trailer, that meant Benjamin was safe. And she had to make sure that didn’t change.

“Stay where you are, Ben!” Sydney screamed over another hail of bullets.

“What the hell’s happening?” was his reply.

Kevin cackled, his footsteps getting closer. “Like you care what happens to my brothers and sisters. I’ll make sure you don’t hurt anyone else!”

Sydney gripped the rifle tight, and after taking a deep breath, she moved out of cover and saw Kevin with his gun aimed right at her.

Jacob’s voice rang in her head.

‘You’ve been a damn good shot since you got to Hope County.’

She shot Kevin once, in the hand close to his rifle’s trigger. Kevin dropped his gun, yelping in pain.

Sydney slammed her rifle onto one of his legs, causing him to fall over.

She stood above him, keeping her rifle aimed. She kicked Kevin’s own weapon away as he groaned in pain on the floor.

“Finish me off then. Release that Wrath within you.” He pointed at the tattoo on her chest weakly.

“Shut up.” she hissed.

“You can’t run from your past, sinner. You ca-”

She put the rifle away to bend over and punch him hard in the face, knocking him out. There, now she paid them both back for what they did to her.

Sydney stepped back until she felt a wall behind her and slumped down, taking deep breaths.

Her adrenaline rush was slowly fading and she could feel the stinging pain on her face again and how her wrists were sore from being tied up for God knows how long.

She heard a door slam open followed by hurried footsteps. She looked up and saw Benjamin, his pistol out.

“Rook?” he asked softly.

If Kevin and Norm were telling the truth and she did kill people from the Project, maybe everyone else probably knew. And the scene in front of Benjamin probably looked suspicious, what with her being the only one conscious among the three people inside.

“They kidnapped me. They were gonna shoot you so I escaped, knocked them out and-”

“Whoa whoa whoa, easy Rook.” Benjamin placed his gun back in his holster and raised his arms up peacefully. “I know you didn’t have anythin’ to do with this.”

Sydney could only nod stiffly, grateful to her friend. “How’d you know to look for me?”

Benjamin placed his hands back down, and knelt beside her. “Elena got worried when you didn’t show up for breakfast this morning. She went to your cabin to check in on ya but you weren’t there. She asked me to help look for ya.”

He turned to Kevin then back at her, smirking. “Though it looks like you didn’t need my help.”

“What time is it?”

“A little past nine in the mornin’.”

She rubbed her sore wrists. Ok so she wasn’t out for long. Bless Elena’s kind heart for worrying over her. Sydney made a mental note to hug the old woman the next time she saw her.

“Let’s get you outta here, Rook.” Benjamin said, standing from his seat. “Need to get some ice for yer face.”

She frowned and looked over at Kevin. “What about him? And his friend in the room over there?”

“Pfft, assholes’re outcold. I’ll send somebody to get ‘im when we get back.”

Which reminded her, “Where are we exactly?”

“Still on the Father’s island. We’re in a little trailer not too far from the compound.”

Sydney laughed dryly. “How the fuck did those two even sneak me out of there?”

“Bah, prolly while everyone was attending the early sermon. Jacob’s right, we got great guards but anyone could pass through if they knew what our church schedules are, dammit.”

Sydney lifted her head up hearing the redhead’s name. “Does Jacob know? That I was gone?”

Benjamin sighed. “No, not yet. The plan was to tell him if I didn’t find you around the island. Luckily these two idiots were too afraid to stray far.”

Part of her was relieved that Jacob didn’t know. It meant she had time to process this new information by herself first. If he were the one who found her, she might’ve exploded and demanded answers from him. What were he and Joseph hiding from her? Why were they hiding it from her?

Sydney took one more deep breath before carefully standing up, mindful of the small cuts she still had on her legs from the glass. She strapped the rifle to her shoulder and brushed her hair away from her face.

She nodded at Benjamin and placed a hand on his shoulder as he helped her stand. “Thanks, Benjamin. For not accusing me of attacking them. Wasn’t sure what you’d think when you walked in and saw two bodies on the floor.”

Benjamin chuckled. “Aww hell, Rook! I got your back, I know you ain’t gonna hurt any of our own, unlike the two fools you knocked out.”

She smiled tiredly at him before heading out of the trailer, Benjamin following behind her.

Outside, there were two Eden’s Gate trucks. She found her jacket in what was probably Kevin and Norm’s vehicle.

Benjamin guided her to the passenger seat of the other truck before getting into the driver’s seat himself.

He started the engine before turning to her and softly saying, “Hey, I don’t know what those two said to you but, you’re a good person, Rook. We know you’re atoning.”

Sydney let out a short sob, willing herself not to cry. She nodded, keeping her eyes on the road in front of her.

And because she didn’t trust her voice not to crack, she simply said, “Thank you.”

--------------

It was a short drive back to the compound. Benjamin insisted she visit the infirmary first while he went to find Elena.

The doctor informed her nothing was broken. He gave her an ice pack for the swelling on her face to go down and disinfected the cuts on her legs. Thankfully the punches she took weren’t that strong, she only had a few bruises that should be gone in a day.

Elena practically busted the infirmary doors open, her eyes frantic until she spotted Sydney. The old woman looked like she was about to cry, hugging Sydney tightly. Sydney couldn’t help but hug her back, thanking her for being one of the reasons she was able to escape.

When the doctor was done assessing her, Sydney was free to go.

“You need me to stay with you, hun? Just ‘til you fall asleep?” Elena offered as they walked back to Sydney’s cabin.

Sydney shook her head. “That’s very kind of you to offer but I’ll be fine, thank you. You’ve done more than enough for me, already.”

“Oh hush girl! Like I said, we’re family. Then I’ll be back later to drop off your lunch. You just lie down and get your rest.”

“Thank you, that’d be great.”

They went their separate ways and Sydney saw her cabin in front of her.

She would’ve been relieved if not for Jacob leaning on the door.

She felt her heart sink. As much as she wanted to talk to him about what happened, she needed time to go over her thoughts first, untangle the memories that had begun to resurface.

Sydney stopped right in front of Jacob, who stared down at her intensely.

“You look like shit.” he simply said.

“It looks worse than it feels.”

He brought his hand up to move the hair away from her face, surprising her. He whistled as he looked over the swelling. “Damn, that’s still gotta sting though.”

Her chest tightened as Jacob casually and gently touched her, staring at her with those piercing blue eyes of his that sparkled when he genuinely laughed.

Funny how just a few hours ago, she did see them sparkle and she heard that wonderful laugh of his that made her smile when she and Jacob were talking over glasses of milk.

Then she got kidnapped, found out she was a killer and they didn’t tell her.

She turned her head slightly and Jacob paused before putting his hand back down. “The doc said I should be fine by tomorrow.”

He was still blocking her way and Sydney was about to politely ask him to step aside when he suddenly said, “The guys that took you, they-”

“I didn’t kill them.” she hissed.

“Hey, relax. I know. Your friend Benjamin told me.”

“Then can I go? I wanna get out of these dirty clothes already.”

“Look, Sydney I just-”

“Not now just… not now.” Sydney said softly, hoping he wouldn’t push her further. She didn’t feel like exploding in front of Jacob and the whole compound.

She needed to be alone with her thoughts, settle the crazy mess in her head first.

Jacob sighed heavily before finally moving out of her way. “At least get somethin’ to eat.”

His arm brushed hers as he passed her. She didn’t look back at him as she entered her cabin and closed the door behind her. Ironic how the last time they parted ways, it was a completely different mood.

Sydney took a quick shower to wash all the dirt and blood off of her before putting on some clean underwear and dressing in an oversized white shirt with the Project’s logo on it.

Her cheeks and jaw began to throb painfully and she patted them with the ice pack she was given. She stared up at the ceiling and allowed herself to process what she learned earlier, hoping the voices in her head would cooperate.

#jacob x sydney #jacob seed #deputy sydney williams #far cry 5 #far cry #jacob x female deputy #my writing #my fic

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bangtancentricsblog · 3 years

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pjm/qw: 1

↳ a spur of the moment fic that came from a half thought i had written down a long time :) also this is my first sorta proper jimin fic??? yeah im super biased lmao

❒ pairing: park jimin x reader, slight jungkook x reader

❒ genre: small fluff, mostly angst? tbh i have no clue, fantasy,

❒ alternative universe: King Arthur and Camelot, Greek Gods

❒ rating: NC 17

❒ word count: 1.4k +

warnings/disclosures: this is heavily unedited but oh well, dialogue heavy sorry, prince jimin, prince jungkook, excalibur reader, talks of gods and war, i had to throw a bible reference in there because yes i love throwing the world's most famous fanfic out there all the time, is that me clout chasing mayhaps?? Mc is in a prison, there isn't anything too bad i promise. But feel free to come yell at me if there was

main ml • AO3

“Many greetings to prince Jimin heir to the throne of light of Camelot. What brings you to my humble abode?”

“Why are you locked in here?”

“That I cannot answer but I can answer other questions, perhaps the ones that sit heavily on your heart?” You simper, making no move to step closer to him in the light.

“How long have you been here? It seems as if we are about the same age.”

“You bore me prince, how fares the queen mother? Is she still as cold to you as was rumored?” The giggle you let out is bordering on manic as it slips past your lips.

“What do you know?”

“I know a fair amount more than you do, young prince.”

“My mother comes from the line of Excalibur. She is a busy woman, now speak clearly I detest these riddles.”

“Riddles you say? I have one for you, what do you call a king without a throne?”

“I don’t know.” He says watching as you squirm in what little light the cell provides. Your laugh is chilling, raising goosebumps across his exposed skin.

“A false king.” You say finally stepping into the light, his heart skips a beat. He’s never seen a woman more beautiful, you’re dressed in silk the gown although thin hangs off your frame beautifully, accentuating your curves as his gaze greedily drinks them up. Truly he wonders why a beauty such as yourself has been locked up, hidden away from the eyes of the court, almost as if you were a secret.

"What does that mean?"

"It means that you, oh noble prince of Light, only heir to Camelot descendant of Arthur are a false prince." You laugh again, this one filled with actual mirth as if you'd been waiting for this, waiting to spill these lies.

"Your father has finally broken the vicious cycle created by the previous kings, he's lain with someone other than an excalibur woman and created a false heir. Here you stand, next in line but for this oh so glorious throne but hold not a single drop of the noble line of Arthur. Tell me false heir why would they lock up a four year old, a daughter of the Excalibur line when their powers don't usually manifest until the age of five?"

"So you are a woman of the Excalibur line, that would make you my betrothed." He says more to himself than to you, his brow furrows as you reveal this information. This has to be a lie, how can he find truth in the words of a madwoman? You’ve yet to say anything else, gaze trained on his figure as he ponders the information you’ve just provided him, though what is the truth?

“Ask me, false prince.” You almost hiss as your lips wrap around the words.

“These are lies.” He says instead, lips set in a firm line.

“That isn’t a question, ask me.” This time it’s more of a whine as if you can’t stand not being able to answer the questions swirling through his brain.

“ASK ME!” You repeat, a manic grin settling across your cracked lips.

“What makes you think there’s more to ask, I’ve grown tired of this game.”

“You know there’s more, why has the queen mother always been away when the king was at war? Where was she if not on the battlefield using her strength to garner another victory for Camelot? Tell me, false prince, where was your mother when you were here alone in the palace?” Jimin says nothing, gaze drinking you in, the almost pleased smile that lightens your features is haunting. Something twists in his stomach the longer he stays in the secluded cell far away from the knights barracks, where he should’ve been practicing his swordsmanship. You’re beautiful he thinks again, a little malnourished but still beautiful so he understands why the women of your family were sought after.

If he looks closely he can see some of the similarities you share with his mother, though he knows that your direct relationship to her isn't all that strong considering the little blood you share. It’s your eyes, the way they glow a warm gold, almost as if the very light that camelot shone in their depths. He’s growing weary of the circles you spoke in, and he’s once again questioning what is truth and what is just made up. Though if Jimin is being truthful he doesn’t know of a reason for you to lie after all you’ve been locked away for what is probably your whole life. So instead he takes a steadying breath, refocusing his gaze on your form. You look slightly less pleased now, a frown downturning your lips as you move closer to the bars that cage you.

“My powers came to me at an early age, you are one year my senior and he, the true heir to the throne of light, descendant of the noble line of Arthur is one year my junior. You, false prince, were born to be his greatest foe. An age old testament put in place by the heavens to rid themselves of false heirs such as yourself. Your father has muddied the purity of the line of Arthur, the heavens won’t have that. Cain was the first, the only impurity to come from the line of Arthur, but now here you stand, and just like Cain will be struck down by your own brother.” There are tears in your eyes now, they sparkle as if embedded with stars for jewels seem too mundane for eyes as beautiful as yours. The anguish he sees in your features makes his heart ache but for who? Surely not for him, perhaps then for the true prince you speak of, after all it was impossible for you to feel so strongly for someone you just met, especially not a false prince.

“You are no daughter of Excalibur, you spun this poisonous web of lies so easily, do you think me a fool? No you aren’t as noble as Excalibur, you’re more so liken to that of a witch.” he spits and although he feels his heart ache at the way you flinch back at his words, he can’t help but notice that it’s the first time you’ve reacted to his words.

“Poor false prince, you would brand me a witch, have me dragged and quartered solely because you cannot understand your role. I pity you Jimin, you’ve known no true happiness, and you will die not knowing happiness. Though you are wrong, witches and my clan share history but in the end we are not one in the same. For you see the line of Excalibur hails from the god Hephaestus, the one true ancestor of my family.” Your smile is nothing like the others you’ve shown him, this one is cold, almost detached almost as if all fight has left you.

“Where do I find him?” he finally asks, needing to find the truth for himself. He refuses to believe a single word you’ve uttered until he can find answers for himself.

“You won’t have to, he’ll find you eventually, goodby false prince.” you mumble slinking back into the shadows of the cell, he’s stepping closer before he can think but falters in his step when he hears his guard and friend Taehyung call for him. He’ll just have to come back and get you to tell him his brother's location, even if it takes an eternity.

The sun is warm on your skin as you sit in a field of greenery, you barely remember your homeland but you remember this field. All of the women meant for the throne knew this field, it was sacred land one only the true descendants of Arthur and Excalibur knew of. A soft breeze brushes against your bare shoulders almost as if in a gentle caress. You relish in it, even more in the welcomed weight of the boy who rests his head in your lap. His umber strands reflect the light in a way that tricks the eye, almost as if shedding light on a hidden crown. One of your hands rests on his chest feeling the rhythmic thumping of his heart, while the other smooths over the stands of his hair.

“I wish we could be together longer.�� he breaths nuzzling into your stomach.

“As do I but now is not the time, not yet at least. Remain strong my king, for the trials that await you will be long and difficult.” His hand finds yours on his chest, threading your fingers together.

“Call me by my name, I like the way it sounds when you say it.” You feel your skin heat at his straightforwardness, nevertheless you comply.

“Jungkook.” you mutter abashedly, but the smile he gifts you in return melts away your prior embarrassment.

tagging @boymeetsweevil because that’s my wife you guys 😍

#park jimin x reader #genre: little fluff #genre: big angst #alternative universe: King Arthur #genre: fantasy #prince Jimin #prince Jungkook #Excalibur reader #cameo from Taehyung #magical properties #emm write #an emm writes production #mine writings #usersuhdays #bangtanedu #bangtanarmynet #heartsforbtsnet #bts fanfiction #jimin fanfic

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sup-hoes-its-me · 4 years

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Pain (Kakashi x Reader)

A/N: finally, a kakashi one shot. I've been trying so hard to write one but his character is so difficult for me, so deep and mysterious and im just an idiot. Tell me if this story is shit, lol. Anyway, Soulmate AU, kinda fluffy, kinda sad idk what to say about it.

word count: 5000~

Part One/Part Two

“Trust me,” the boy whispered to me. “It’s going to be okay.”

His arms wound around me, as I dozed in and out of consciousness. Lightning struck every couple minutes, illuminating the area just enough up so I could see the carnage around us. Dead bodies, left and right, blood splattered on trees and shinobi crying over the bodies of their teammates and loved ones.

This war would show no mercy, it had taken someone from every clan, every household. Mothers, fathers, daughters, sons, lovers, friends. No one was safe from the storm reigning over the nations.

The rain had left me drenched, and I kept coughing on the water running up my nose and into my mouth. I felt like i was drowning in my own body, lungs filled with water, heart filled with pain.

I could feel the burden on this boy’s shoulders as he panicked over my limp, bloodied form. I didn’t know why he was saving me, or how he even noticed my body among the dozens of others left among those battling for their lives.

I didn’t have the strength to ask him, words absent from my mind and my tongue.

“I need to keep fighting. Where are the medics, for fucks sake,” my rescuer grumbled under his breath. Fire shot above our heads, and a girl screamed in pain behind us. I felt like I was going to pass out from not only pain but sheer fear. We were sitting there asking to be killed.

Quickly, he lifted me in his arms and ran deeper into the forest, farther away from the man with the flames.

I tried to speak, but blood caught in my throat and had me spitting it down my neck and onto my shirt. I was at the complete disposal of this stranger.

“Kakashi!”

My teammate. His voice was unmistakable. “Is that Y/N? What- Jesus, that looks bad,” my friend exclaimed as he approached my body. Suddenly my body was being handed off, and I gasped for air, more drops of blood coming up to taste on my tongue.

“Gai, she needs to get to a medic; she’s your teammate right?”

“Right away, Kakashi!” He turned on his heel and prepared to push off into a jump through the trees when he paused. “You don’t even know Y/N, what made you save her?”

“I don’t know. I just knew I couldn’t let her die,” the silver haired boy, whom I know knew as the famous Kakashi, trained by the fourth Hokage himself, paused, his eyes stuck on my face for a long minute. “She deserves to live, that’s all I know.” With those being the last words out of his mouth, the boy rushed into the trees, ready to fight another battle for our village. I knew who Kakashi was from the name, but I had never formally met him. He just saved me, and I didn't know whether to feel honored that he found me worth saving or ashamed that I was so weak I couldn't defend myself.

Gai carried me to the edge of the forest where a medic tent was set up. He rocked me softly in his arms as I choked on the mere air I was breathing in, and gasped when my chest felt too heavy to support itself. He was a friend, the best friend I’ve ever had, even if he was painfully unbearable at times.

People even asked me, time and time again, is Might Gai your soulmate? No one can stand that kid, she must be his soulmate, poor girl. That’s what they would say. But no. We were friends. And Kakashi, was Gai’s sort-of-friend, but mostly he acted as an admirer.

He had mentioned Kakashi time and time again in secret. He would call him a hero, someone so talented and majestic, you would think he was talking about a seasoned shinobi like the Hokage. He felt challenged by his skill, but grateful for his help when he was being bullied.

I guess, you could say Kakashi Hatake was my hero now too. Such a quiet guy, yet more noble than any one of us.

___________________________________

I don't normally show my soul mark, hidden away under my layers, resting on my shoulder blade. I show it to people when they ask, because it really doesn't matter if people see it or not. I know they aren't my soulmate.

I wasn’t surw who I was destined to be with. Over the years of being a shinobi, I encountered thousands of people, all of whom could have been the one, or not. I may have met them before and not known about it, but I highly doubt it.

Kurenai told me when you meet your soulmate for the first time, it's such a distinct feeling that you can't miss it. You can't dismiss it as just a chill running through your body. As far as I can remember, I've never felt something like that: so significant that it would haunt me even today. I try not to dwell on the fact that I may never meet my soulmate, or that I've passed them by in another village or on a mission and will never see them again.

I honestly try not to think about my soulmate at all. It's so hopeless and only brings people anxiety and paranoia. The people who go around asking to see every single person's mark are fools in my opinion.

Yes, I do think it would be nice to meet my soulmate and love them forever unconditionally, constantly having someone to hold and talk to. Yet...I can get so much shit done when I don't have to worry about some fate-forseen destiny.

I laid in my bed, pillow over my face to drown out the sunlight and sounds of the birds chirping. I didn't have a mission today, and my team of Genin was out on a mission themselves for the next week. I had time to do absolutely nothing but sleep and relax. That is, if my fellow villagers would leave me alone for once.

But not today. I can't have one day off, can I?

"Rise and Shine, woman of the night! Half a day of youth has been wasted, my friend!" A loud bellowing voice called from outside my room. "If you don't wake up and open the door in 10 seconds, I will force the door down." Seriously…fuck Gai.

I rolled out of bed, threw on my robe lying on the floor and walked to the door. If it were anyone else, I could probably get away with staying in bed, but Gai doesn't lie when he makes threats, and I wasn't about to replace my door again.

The sun was so bright when I opened the door and peered out at my friend. eyes narrowed to avoid the sunlight. "Gai...why are you like this?" I put bluntly, stiff frown on my lips.

He frowned, shaking his head furiously. "Y/N, you are yet a single beautiful flower from the leaf village. You must not waste a single day of your youth, your prime time for action, adventure, and training," the man proclaimed, throwing his fist in the air dramatically.

"Listen, I'm tired as all hell, but if you want me out of the house we can go get breakfast."

"Breakfast? It's past noon."

"Fine. Lunch, then." He nodded, begrudgingly. He was, as expected, disappointed that I didn't even know what time it was, and that I had skipped the most important meal of the day. I shut the door and changed into appropriate clothes, combed through my hair for a minute with my hair, and shoved some cash in my pocket for food.

We walked five blocks to sit down for ramen, and were greeted kindly by the owner and his daughter.

"When is your next mission assigned?"

"Wednesday. Two days of peace."

"What about your team? Training?"

"On a c-rank. No kids, no responsibilities. What more could I ask for? I got 14 hours of sleep last night too."

His eyes widened, but what was he expecting? I wasn't exactly proactive when I didn't have to be, unlike his upbeat and always ready to fight lifestyle. Maybe he was right to always be prepared, since we can never know when someone will attack the village. We weren't prepared for when Orochimaru first attacked and our Hokage died, as well as hundreds of our shinobi.

"Typical Y/N behavior. As long as you are safe from harm, I suppose it doesn't matter. Still, after this I'm running 100 laps around the village with Lee. You can join if you want."

"I'll pass this time. My calves are killing after my last mission." I sighed but felt a little calmer as my ramen was placed in front of me. I took one whiff of it and felt immensely better than before. I slouched in my seat a bit as I relaxed and practically inhaled some noodles.

After I finished my ramen, I bid my farewell to Gai and headed back to my apartment. I guess today would be a good day to clean the mess that had been building up there for a few weeks. I went on missions so often, I just forgot to pick up in between them.

When I was walking up the stairs to my place, I noticed a particular silver haired shinobi leaning against my door, holding a small box in his hands.

“Kakashi!” I exclaimed, walking just a bit faster to get to him. He came to visit me sometimes, but it was quite rare. We usually met up in town or for a mission. “Back from your mission already?”

“Yep. Turned out to be a lot easier than we anticipated,” he replied, shifting on his feet, a movement noting nervousness. I stopped at my door, peering up at him brightly. It was always a pleasant surprise seeing him. After all, he was one of my favorite people.

I leaned on the opposite side of my door frame, my eyes shifting to the little box in his hand. “What’s that?”

“Oh, yeah. Uh, just something I found while on the mission. It’s really no big deal.”

“You were in the Land of Snow. Barely anyone goes there; of course your little trinket is a big deal!” I laughed. He also laughed, but it was painfully awkward and tense. He still seemed pretty on edge, which I just brushed off as the aftermath of a mission. “Who’s it for?”

“Yeah, about that…” he trailed off, eyes turning down to the box. “It’s actually for you.”

My whole face lit up in flames at the thought of Kakashi getting a special present for me. I watched with the internal excitement of a kid on Christmas morning, my hands shaking just a bit by my sides. My friend lifted the box, and inside was the most magnificent crystal on a metallic chain. It was white with shimmering bits of blue and silver swirling around inside.

Carefully, I reached out and touched it with the pads of my fingertips. “Kakashi, I don’t know what to say...It’s so beautiful.” My eyes lifted to look at his single eye. It seemed I had caught him staring, and he blinked quickly to cover it up. My cheeks turned an even darker shade of pink.

“The lady who sold it to me said that it holds a protective spirit inside. That’s probably just a cheap sales pitch, but I…” he mumbled, embarrassment creeping up his neck and ears, “Well, I thought you would like it.”

“Are you kidding? I love it. Kakashi, this is the nicest thing someone has ever bought for me. Must have cost you a fortune!” I protested as I further inspected the crystal. It was purely amazing. Truthfully, I didn’t think Kakashi had much taste either.

He shrugged. “Price doesn’t matter. What does matter is if you will wear it.”

“Of course.” Excitedly, I turned around and moved my hair out of the way of my neck. “Put it on for me, please.” I listened to him pick the chain and the clap of the box shutting and slipping into his pocket. His fingers slid against my neck, sending tiny shocks down my spine, and the cool crystal soon sat against my chest. His slim hands moved away from my skin, and I admittedly missed the feeling of his warmth on me.

As I turned, he hummed with approval. “Looks perfect on you, as I suspected.”

“O-Oh. Well, thank you for getting it for me. Hopefully it actually works like the lady said.”

“Either way, you’ll always be safe.” He brushed off my comment coolly. “Trust me.”

I always did.

_________________________________

It was late into the night, but nerves kept me up once again. All this drama with Orochimaru, Sasuke, the Akatsuki. It was overwhelming. Tsunade was assigning me missions almost every day, my joints ached from running and fighting, and my chakra felt as if it was used up for the last time; I was so tired.

The streets were quiet except for a few restaurants still open to late night diners. My footsteps echoed on the ground as I walked along, dirt kicking up around my feet with every lazy step.

Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted him, perched on the top of a water tower. His hair still flew up despite the wind persistently pushing it down. Kakashi Hatake, my friend and comrade. As always he looked almost majestic, especially in this moonlight. For some reason, I felt the urge to jump up there and be with him, a push towards the shinobi.

Silently, I bounced between buildings to get to where he was, talking up to where he sat. His nin-kin turned to me and nodded in greeting.

“Sup, Y/N,” Pakkun said in his strangely deep voice for such a tiny dog. Sitting down beside the man, my eyes trailed over to where he was looking out all this time. Pain shot through my body at the sight of the memorial stone, glimmering in the darkness.

I think every shinobi had their fair share of memories associated with the stone, whether it be family or friends. I sighed, my gaze shifting to the moon above us.

Some things were just too painful to dwell on.

“Y/N.”

“Hey, Kakashi,” I began, rubbing over my knuckles with my thumb. “I was just on a walk, and it looked like you could use some company.”

“Yeah, guess you’re right.” Pakkun rolled his eyes, but said nothing. After all, he knew his master could use all the human compassion he could find. “Been a tough night.”

I leaned forward a bit, swinging my legs off the edge of the water tower. It made me dizzy being this high up and looking down, but I enjoyed the rush it sent through my blood. My head tilted toward him, and I sighed. “Agreed. Too much to think about, huh?”

“Yep.”

“What’s on your mind then?”

“Currently?” His laugh was bitter as he said that word, shaking his head. His frustration rolled off his body in waves. “My student is a rogue ninja and my other students are going to get killed trying to find him.”

I nodded solemnly. My own squad was actually quite boring. They had talent, but not the same attachments or motivation as Kakashi’s students. His children fought with their all every single battle, always striving to be better than they were the day before. Hell, Sasuke went with a criminal to achieve his goals. I felt sorry for the guy. His kids weren’t normal.

“Naruto won’t give up, huh. Can’t see that happening, I gotta admit.”

“I was the one who taught them the importance of teamwork and bonds between them, but god dammit if I’m not worried about them,” he cursed. “I know they have the capability to defend themselves. Naruto and Sasuke are coming to the point where they could even surpass me, yet I feel obligated to protect him.”

Humming in agreement, I replied, “As you should. What kind of leader would you be if you just left them to be reckless?”

“I just...The thought of losing anyone else is…” His words trailed off, eyes trained on the memorial stone again.

Tears pricked my eyes. My parents died in the war. I had been injured early on so I wasn’t there to see them die. I only heard about their deaths when the battle ended and their mutilated bodies were found among thousands of others. I didn’t know pain like this man, but I could understand death just like anyone else. Even the happiest people, like Gai, have struggled with loss more times than he would like to count.

Tentatively, my arm went to rest over his shoulders. He didn’t move away from my touch, leaning into my side just slightly. I almost didn’t notice the weight. This man needed touch and affection now more than ever. He was battling a war inside himself as another brewed around him every day.

“I know, Kakashi.”

He kept silent. Pakkun sat in his lap calmly, his eyes shutting as he sunk deeper into thought.

“Sometimes, I worry I’ll forget the faces of my parents who died during that battle. I-I can’t remember what color eyes my mom had, and sometimes I forget my dad had freckles or that one of his ears was just a little longer than the other. I know one day I won’t remember at all, and all my pictures burned in the wreckage…” I confided in the masked ninja, and he let out a long breath. “That’s the worst part for me.”

“I’m sorry, Y/N.”

“It’s okay. I always remind myself that while I forget their faces, I will never forget how they made me feel. How happy I was when my father applauded me at graduation, and how my mother made me the best meals I’ve ever had. In that way, they are always with me.”

His situation ran deeper, I knew that. He killed his friend Rin, and he was forced to watch as his other teammate died being crushed by a boulder. He harboured the boy’s eye every day, acting as a constant reminder that he could only take when he should have saved him. Survivor’s guilt is written on his heart.

As I squeezed his shoulder just a bit tighter to my body, I added, “You owe it to your friends and family to keep living life to the fullest. Just like my parents, your loved ones live through you now.”

He sat calmly for a second, pondering on what I said. I stared out at Konoha, a small smile on my face. The death would always haunt me, but there were always positives, always something to drag a person out of a dark time. With effort, his guilt would lessen. I doubt it would happen that way, Kakashi being too stubborn to forgive himself, but the least we could do is try.

“You’re a good friend, y’know.”

“I’ll always be here for you, Kakashi. Always.”

“Thank you, Y/N.”

______________________________________

The mission was turning out to be a big failure. Y/N had wasted away at her reserve of chakra, and Kakashi wasn’t fairing too much better. They would have been sent with more shinobi back up but Tsunade was running short on available ninja, not even a genin to help them. There was so much going on, and this fight was more chaotic than most.

A few hours before, Y/N and Kakashi noticed that enemy shinobi started following them, but from such a distance that it would be better to keep going for as long as they could to regain strength before engaging in combat. Only, they didn’t realize that there were enemies waiting for them as well. It seemed they walked right into a clever trap.

They weren’t prepared. Even the famous Kakashi was worn out from the strain of the mission earlier that day. Constantly, it seemed, they were being attacked.

Regardless, they tried to put up the best fight they could.

But it was futile.

After just 20 minutes of fighting, Y/N was at wits end. She had used up a big portion of her chakra an hour earlier to heal a villager. Her legs ached from running for hours, and her head spun with a migraine from head damage. Before anyone could react, an already weakened kunoichi fell to the ground, half a dozen kunai sticking from her back from a sneak attack in the trees. Her shirt soaked up the blood oozing from her broken skin, and she barely had enough energy to cry out before her face hit the dirt hard. Just as Kakashi turned away from the enemy to see what had happened, one of the kunai, which was tagged, detonated.

Dust flew up in clouds around her as the flames went down. Her clothes were practically seared to the seams, and the awful smell of burnt flesh wafted into the forest around them.

“Y/N!” Kakashi yelled at the sight of her body. “Shit, shit, shit.”

He pressed his hand to the ground and screamed for his summons to come and help him. Anyone that could protect Y/N while he finished this fight alone. His ninken appeared, and immediately they knew what to do. A few of them went to attack the person who was targeting Y/N, leaving the criminal merciless to their vicious nature, meanwhile the rest, including Pakkun ran over to her body, sizzling on the ground with smoke rising from the fabric of her shirt.

With some assistance now in place, Kakashi used the last bit of his chakra to take down the man in front of him, as well as the two to his right and left. Three shinobi down, as well as the one his ninken took down a few seconds ago.

As he took a few breaths, trying to compose himself enough to think clearly, he caught sight of Y/N’s unmoving body, despite the efforts the dogs took to wake her up, to get her to simply twitch to show she was still alive.

Nothing.

His heart began to race with fear. This scene, it was all too familiar. His friends who had died before him, their broken and ruined bodies lying before him to only stare at. He felt helpless. Like years ago, she was near death and he desperately needed to keep her alive. The need inside of him was so strong he couldn’t think of anything else.

Kakashi fell to his knees next to her, quickly moving to yank the kunai from her back and toss them to the side. blood seeped into her blackened clothes and onto the grass below her.

His hands hovered over her form anxiously, not knowing what to do next. He wasn’t a healer. She was the one with the medical ninjutsu up her sleeve. Pakkun noticed his frantic eyes, the way he held his breath as if time had stopped.

“Not my Y/N. Not to her, please, Kami, please,” he begged.

“She’s breathing, Kakashi,” the dog assured, placing his paw onto his master’s arm. “The medcine, Kakashi, she needs the Hokage’s medicine.”

His brain took a moment to think, and soon after he rummaged through the remnants of Y/N’s side bag, searching for the salve Tsunade had given them as they left. “Fuck, why did this have to happen?” Harsh words cursed out under his breath as he cut through the fabric with a kunai to get a full look at the wounds on her back. Soot covered her skin, so he wiped them off the best he could.

One dark spot remained. Under her shoulder blade.

Maybe he should have moved faster, forgot about the black mark on her back, but he couldn’t help but rub away the rest of the dust and dirt to take a closer look. He’d never seen her soul mark. She’d never seen his. They were in places unseen by the casual eye.

And after 20 years of not knowing, they matched. His soulmate. She was right in front of him this entire time. He always felt different toward the woman, in the kind of way they only talk about in romance novels. He never anticipated even meeting his soulmate, but knowing her for 20 years, loving her for this long...it felt surreal.

He pushed down his mask, touching the mark on his chin faintly. Pakkun eyed his master’s mark for a moment before turning to the girl’s. “Kakashi…”

“Shit, forget about that. Let’s just make sure she lives.”

He rubbed the salve onto her wounds, and her body started to shake. The wounds slowly closed, only leaving streaks of blood and dust on her skin. As he turned her body over, he noticed blood dripping from her forehead and wiped it away, pressing a piece of her shirt to the wound to keep pressure steady.

“She won’t wake up for a while. It’s best to take her back to the village, Kakashi.”

He wordlessly nodded, lifting her into his arms and standing up, hugging her weak form to his chest. And so he started his walk back to the hidden leaf.

His whole body felt heavy, worry building up in his heart. They were meant to be together, souls intertwined by fate. He finally found the woman who would love him endlessly. He would be happy once again.

If only it was that easy…

____________________________________________

After being injured on the last mission, I was allowed to take a few weeks off to recover. Apparently, my wounds could have been fatal if not for the salve Tsunade gave us as it contained an antidote to their poisonous weapons. Kakashi did a good job, the nurses told me when I woke up in the crowded hospital room. They told me he saved my life.

“He was so worried about you, Y/N. He ran all the way here from the Land of Fire just to make sure you were okay.”

“Yeah, he was just about ready to cry when he handed you off to us,” the nurse told me, a small smile on her face. “He really cares about you, Miss Y/N.”

The nurses told me a lot of things while I was being healed. They loved to talk, and Kakashi was a man of much interest apparently. Even though I was in pain, they made it somewhat bearable to sit in the hospital for three days.

Every week, I would go back for a follow up, just to make sure the poison hadn’t reemerged. My last appointment just happened to be with the Hokage herself, her expertise above all others. I worried something might be wrong, as my injuries seemed to be getting better, but needing the Hokage to perform an exam must mean something is wrong. Honestly, I was anxious.

I settled onto the patient’s bench as the powerful woman walked into the room.

“Y/N. How are you feeling?”

“Pretty good. No pain anymore.”

“Alright, well, I’ll listen to your vitals, check your blood stream and chakra flow, and hopefully you’ll be out of here in no time,” she told me, doing as she said she would. I laid on the bench and let her medical chakra flow through me, searching for abnormalities.

After that, I sat up for her to check on my back, which was just about finished healing and scaring. Every shinobi has scars, and thankfully these are hidden under my shirt at all times. Big red welts sat there for a week to the point where it hurt to even wear a shirt because the fabric rubbed against them.

She lifted my shirt, her cold finger running along the healing wounds. Suddenly, her fingers stopped, right under my shoulder.

“Well, that’s quite...shocking.”

“Something wrong?” I piped up, peeking at her from over my shoulder. Her eyes were trained onto my back, eyes widened.

“No, it’s not a problem,” she lowered my shirt, and patted her hands together. “Good news is that you’re completely fine, no complications.”

“Bad news?”

“More good news, I suppose,” the woman told me, her lips quirking into a half grin. “Your necklace is gorgeous. I haven’t been able to keep my eyes off it since you started wearing it, to be honest. Sakura told me Kakashi gave it to you.” She sighed, touching the crystal hanging close to my heart.

With a smile, I nodded, eyeing the stone myself. “It’s one of my most prized possessions,” I gushed, heat returning to my cheeks as I thought about receiving the gift.

“Then I have some great news for you.” She let go of my necklace and stepped back a bit, crossing her arms under her breasts. “You and your beloved have the same soulmark. It seems Kakashi is your soulmate.”

My heart stopped beating in my chest for a second. Wide eyes met her neutral ones, and I opened my mouth to say something, but she beat me to it. “I’ve healed Kakashi time and time again, so I know his mark. It’s under his mask, so you would never get the chance to see it. Yet, it matches yours perfectly. Congratulations.”

“Lady Hokage, I-I...Thank you for telling me! This is all I’ve been wishing for for years. Meeting my soulmate, I’ve only ever thought about it in my dreams. I-I can’t believe it.”

“I’m happy for you, Y/N. You and Kakashi will have a mission in 2 days, I suggest you tell him sometime then, when you have time together,” she advised. I nodded gratefully.

She bid me a goodbye and shut the door as she left. My heart was still in overdrive as I processed what she had just told me.

I would just have to wait a few days and then I could tell him everything. It would be the best day of my life.

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notknowingwhatlayedamoungthem · 3 years

Text

Love is one of the weirdest concepts I've had the blessing of stumbling across.

Since the only way of knowing if you are or if you arent is by complete chance, almost like a roll of a dice.

It has such a distinct and forin feeling,

I've only had the pleasure of feeling only twice in my short life.

For every time it has started off as nothing more than a soft glow, similar to a small fire one that can easily be mistaken for friendship and trust me when I say it has.

Or at least the first time around it was.

Somehow I had learnt and grown enough that fate had given me the gift of experiencing it again.

So i guess that's why i'm writing now, in the early summer evening, eagerly awaiting the sight of my lover in the morn. But one thing that people fail to mention is the sparks you feel when you fall into love. The sparks of creation, sparks of hope, wonder and even joy.

I year for their touch as i hope for a long future with them and a part of me is scared to what would happen if i was to be parted with them, i hope that when i look back to this like i do with many others of my work, published or not i will never tell, i will still be with the person who i menshon now in this…

Im not sure what to call this whether this is a story of soughts or not. I'm not fully sure that I can guarantee I will re-write this at least a half dozen times if my soul wills it. Tho i will apologise for the varying length of my work.

In a way tho i love them to the brink of creation, i myself know it is foolish to say as i stand as both a mortal and immortal for there is no proof that i stand with my brethren in the face of death. In the amount of time I have graced this earth I have strutted through my trials and tribulations that I know you as my reader has faced as well, I smiled in death's shadow and with much grace and decorum showed it's foolish ways through this means I shall not burn you with. But perhaps for you. From the facts I have mentioned you would have thought I would be identified as a being who latches on to the febal mortal being as I where to sip on the highest of quality ambrosia but alas I am just as mortal as whoever is reading this.

With the factor that writers such as i are gods there own right, half that of the pantheon of the majoring gods of the greec religion now lost to time but gods in the sense of their creation with phrases such as ‘speak of her over my grave and watch as she brings me to life’ and an opposing thrase of ‘that's the thing about pain … it demands to be felt’ the people who created these phrase, created them in the hopes of connecting it those who may seek the emotions that are hidden among them no matter what the format they may be written it.

Writers make galaxys, nebulas novacors each and every world is weaved with the finest of stardust in the hopes of someone feeling the emotions they oh so dearly want you to hole.

So even as i, a writer of my own kind by ability to write has improved with every story i write no matter its size stand aw struck at the thought of describing my lover, if i may call them that, because to me words cannot describe how the sky bends to them how the clouds shift and the weather itself changes in order for them to feel the welcoming heat of the sun that icoras himself held so dearly and lover so harshly.

In a way it feels like i've known them before in a cruel way, tho then again it also feels like i have walked the earth longer than any bearing i have come across, maybe i am a old soul or a fallen god who used their last embers of immortality to be reborn as a simple mortal, but like i said before i am a writer so it could be that my time writing could just have caught up to me.

The line between fiction and reality is blurred a little for myself so please bear with me dearest reader.

But when ever i have the opportunity to be in their ever blessing presence i long to stell them, legends, ballads and odes from long ago of old war buddies that were secretly lovers in hushed voices and hidden laughter in the hopes of fooling those around them of their true intentions of one and other.

Oh if only the fates new how much i longed to whisper the story of anchellies and proclus to them as i shift my fingers through their hair in early june after noons, or as my head lays on their chest in the middle of a lush field the sound of our laughter still dancing in the summer air.

Oh reader, I can't help but tell you these things that I hold dear about them, the hints of brown in their green hues, the way their hair sticks up when the breeze grazes them just right, or how their laughter gives me a sort of ease I've never felt before.

But I hope that one day you may understand these words I have written for you on this early summer's eve. For you reader I have loved you the most and for the longest time, and I pray to whoever may hear this call that I am reunited with you again one day.

#writers on tumblr #writing #dark aesthetic #dark acadamia aesthetic #dark academia #breaking the 4th wall #x reader #lost love #darkness #mid summer #june #summer love #ancient dreams in a modern land #ancient greek heroes #ancient greek mythology #lovers #gender neutral reader #break Tumblr

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emeraldrosequartz · 5 years

Text

Rematch: a GladiatorLoki one-shot by EmeraldRoseQuartz

@latent-thoughts...I blame you for this.

Part of the blame is on @sillyvantas for creating this AMAZING concept fanart of Loki about to go into battle on Sakaar (and a bunch of other cool Loki drawings, I should mention), but mostly, this is on you, Latent. For having the very audacity to ask for such a thing, knowing there are poor fools out here like me who can’t resist an AU based on fanart. And I hope you know that there will be consequences. :P

In the darkness, alone, he could hear the nearly-uncontrolled crowd cheering outside the enormous metal door. Distilled light filtered in through the spaces and gaps of the barrier in front of him, shining an eerie mottled pattern on the pale features and translucent green eyes of the disgraced Prince of Asgard. Loki gripped the clunky sword nervously, the worn leather creaking and groaning in his palm. His heavy breath and the sound of rushing blood in his ears almost drowned out the chanting on the other side of that door, the savage audience stomping and screaming so violently that it shook the massive slab of steel on its hinges. But even that didn’t interrupt the one thought running through his mind over and over again.

How in the Nine Realms had he ended up here…

Oh...right...

—-

“HEIMDALL, BRING US BACK!”

In hindsight, that had been a mistake.

But it had been a long day. After Thor’s surprise return to Asgard, being outed as an imposter in front of the entire Asgardian court, reuniting with his father on Midgard moments before finally being accepted as a son by Odin (which was immediately followed by the Allfather’s demise), learning the formerly-imprisoned-and-newly-released Goddess of Death was actually his adoptive sister, and seeing her crush Thor’s formidable hammer like a snowball on Muspelheim...well, admittedly, he wasn’t in top form.

That last sight had struck such panic in him that calling to Heimdall was the first thing he thought to do.

And then, before he knew it, he was spinning out of control on the wrong side of the Bifrost, hurtling through space until he collided unceremoniously with the ground in the middle of what appeared to be a garden party in a trash dump. Right at the sandaled feet of the Grandmaster.

“Wellllll what do we have here? Another lost little soul for me to care for, hm?”

Still dazed, Loki had smacked the stranger’s hand away when the Grandmaster reached to touch him, causing a round of shocked and anxious gasps from the eclectic partygoers.

In hindsight, that had also been a mistake.

“Ooooh, a fighter!” The Grandmaster had said, giddily. “What-uh...what’s your name, feisty?”

“I am not feisty,” Loki had growled in response, hardly aware of the crowd around him that had gone eerily silent and were watching him like a pack of hungry wolves. “I am Loki, Prince of Asgard, Rightful King of Jotunheim, God of Mischief, and I will not be bullied by the likes of-“

Then everything went black.

It was definitely time to retire that line.

Upon awakening in the disgusting dungeons of the gladiators - which the insipid rockman kept insisting was called the “freaky circle” - Loki found he had a very uncomfortable obedience disk latched to the skin of his neck and an aching desire to scheme his way out of this place as fast as possible.

So he volunteered to fight the champion.

In hindsight, that might have been the biggest mistake of them all.

—-

Now, standing at the gates of the arena, armed with nothing but this ungraceful hunk of ill-forged metal and whatever magic he could manage to conjure on this unfamiliar world, adrenaline kicking through his veins, heart pounding, senses heightened, eager to get this over with and get off of this gods-forsaken planet...it occurred to Loki that he might be in slightly over his head.

The Grandmaster’s contrastingly song-song voice boomed over the collected cacophony of the audience as he announced the winner of the battle royal, but the ambient sound quieted slightly as he heard:

“And now, as you all know, we’ve got a new fighter who wants to try and win his freedom by challenging the champion! Are you ready for this?”

Deafening cheers exploded from the thousands of bloodthirsty onlookers. Loki gulped.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you - The Prince of Assberg - the feisty God of Misdeeds - Logee!”

Oh, for Hel’s sake...

If only to correct that egregious introduction, Loki decided then and there that he would do whatever it took to get himself out of that arena alive. The doors swung open into a blinding light, and thousands of people booed and jeered him.

Lovely.

Shaking off his nerves, he gathered himself and sauntered out onto the battlefield, arms spread wide, with a snarky, confident grin.

He turned around the huge stadium and took in the magnitude of the audience. Thousands upon thousands of spectators roared, soaring up into the sky where the top of the stands mingled with hovering ships. Loki spotted the Grandmaster’s box, and with over-enthusiastic dramatic flair, he bowed flourishingly.

“Yea, he’s great, he’s great. Let’s hear it for him. But now. Oooooo, the one you’ve all been waiting for…”

Impossibly, the crowd got even louder. Green fireworks of colored powder began exploding around the arena, signs and masks were being waved by excited onlookers. Loki looked at the gargantuan door on the other side of the battlefield.

“Oh boy, here he comes. The undefeated, defending champion. You know him, you love him…”

The ground began to tremble as the door slowly began to open.

“The Incredible...HULK!”

...

FUCK.

Of all the creatures that could have violently exploded from that door, of all horrors he’d endured, of all the worst possible scenarios he had considered…

“I have to get off this planet…” Loki whispered to himself in sheer disbelief. How had that beast gotten to this world?! What in the HELS was this place?! Was it specifically designed to trigger every fear he had, or was that just his dumb luck?

The giant green monstrosity came roaring out onto the floor of the arena, dressed in the same gaudy Gladiator-style armor that Loki had been forced to wear - at least he’s been able to change it from that hideous dark blue to a more suitable shade of green beforehand. But that was literally the least of his concerns, as the Hulk began barreling toward him on all fours, pushing himself forward on those rippling, huge arms and eying him murderously.

“Good to see you too, Bruce,” Loki said under his breath. He had about five seconds before the monster would be upon him. A fury of battle-practiced rage blossomed inside him - this would NOT be a repeat of what had happened on Earth. Soliloquizing to the green abomination had been - yet another - mistake. Not this time. He wouldn’t underestimate his enemy again; in fact, he already had a plan. He smirked.

Planting his feet firmly in the dirt, gripping the sword in one hand and drawing his seidr to the palm of the other, Loki locked eyes on his opponent.

Bring it on.

@latent-thoughts, I challenge you to write the battle that ensues. Like I said - consequences! At least 1,000 words, then you can pass this off to whomever you’d like, even back to me if you feel like a little vengeance is in order. Looking forward to it! :P

@wrathkitty @caffiend-queen @nildespirandum @devilish–doll @myoxisbroken @starrynight35 @moonfaery @dangertoozmanykids101 @lovely----------------notlovely @archy3001 @cursedcursingviking @ohhhmyloki @im-a-slut-for-an-accent @baby-bunting @dianamolloy @lokis-library @juju092118

#GladiatorLoki #Loki #loki fanfic #loki fanfiction #Loki Fandom #Loki Laufeyson #hulk #sakaar #grandmaster #loki fanart

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marvxlousqueen · 5 years

Text

Warren Worthington- Amnesia

word count: 2.5 K!! (longest thing i’ve written lately!)

warnings: cussing, gets a little angsty boys!!

A/N: this idea came to me when i was bopping to my tb playlist and amnesia by 5sos came on so yeah get ready bc this gets angsty !!!

also yes its a roger gif bc warren has zero fucking screen time and im out of gifs

(Y/n)’s eyes were glued to his face, watching his lips part as if to make sure he continued to breathe as normal. Warren had taken a hard fall on their last rescue mission. This was his second day of being unconscious, but Hank assured (Y/n) that he would be up in no time, claiming Warren showed regular brain function.

(Y/n)’s brain was racked with thoughts about what would happen when he woke up. Their last conversation before the mission was, in a word, deep. The pair had stayed up until the late hours of the night, not even caring about the exhaustion they’d feel in the morning. That was the night Warren had finally been brave enough to make a move, sharing his feelings with (Y/n). They had spent a few hours fooling around, and then talked until the sun rose.

(Y/n) felt nervous to see him once he woke up.

Oh come on, (Y/n), let’s not think like this, she thought to herself. Remember what he said before he fell?

It wasn’t anything the team hadn’t done before. Flying out, saving civilians, bringing them back home. This time happened to be news helicopter that was going down over the Atlantic. It should’ve been easy in, easy out. Jean was slowing the rotors so that Kurt could bamf Peter and Warren into the helicopter to grab the civilians. As they were going through standard procedure, a plane flew by above the helicopter scene, causing a strong wind and noise that threw Jean off. She lost her connection with the rotors, making the helicopter drop.

Kurt grabbed Peter and Warren to bamf everyone out, but on the exit, Warren’s wings were struck by the spinning rotors. He was pushed out of the copter, his wings failing him. As he fell towards the ocean, a scream ripped out from his throat. Not “help!”, not “save me!”, not even “AHH!” The only words he could think to form was, “(Y/n)!”

The rest of the team were too preoccupied trying to get Kurt and Peter in with the civilians to grab Warren. He hit the water, causing a head injury that knocked him unconscious.

(Y/n)’s brain snapped out of her memories.

He was thinking about me during his fall, he wasn’t joking when he said he loved me.

“Hey, (Y/n). You alright?”

Looking away from him, she saw Hank standing in the doorway.

“Yeah, I’m okay. Just want to be here when he wakes up.”

Hank nodded, walking towards his cart with Warren’s graph information.

“Should be up any minute. He’s showing more brain activity than he was yesterday so he’s probably starting to wake up. Just give him some more time.”

(Y/n) nodded, turning back to the bed, watching over Warren.

An hour had passed since Hank had stopped by. (Y/n)’s eyes were glazed over as she stared at the monitor, holding his hand tight and praying he’d wake up soon.

Her eyes widened as she heard stirring from the bed. Looking down she saw Warren’s eyes fluttering open, then squinting in response to the harsh lighting.

“W-,” he cleared his throat, “Where am I? What happened?”

(Y/n)’s lips pulled into a smile, “Warren! You’re up! Everything’s okay, just took a bad fall a few days ago, but everything’s okay.”

“Fall? What-”

Warren was interrupted as Hank entered the room, followed by Jean, Jubilee, and Ororo.

“Warren! You’re up!”

Hank rushed to the monitor, checking his vitals, while the girls stood behind (Y/n), anxious to hear how their teammate was.

“Where’s everyone else?” (Y/n) asked.

Ororo piped up from behind Jean, “Training with Raven, but they’ll stop by after.”

Jubilee pushed to the front next to (Y/n), “Gave us quite a scare there, bird boy. Glad to see you up.”

Warren’s eyebrows were furrowed, “Bird boy? Who is that?”

Jubilee laughed, “That’s you, dummy.”

Warren clenched his jaw out of frustration, “Who are all of you?”

Hank stepped away from his monitor, “What did you ask?”

Warren looked towards him before scanning the girl still grasping his hand, “Who are you? All of you.”

“Can you tell me your name?”

Hank’s face was wrinkled with concern, awaiting Warren’s answer.

He raised his hand that wasn’t held by (Y/n) and point towards Jubilee, “Bird boy?”

“You don’t remember who you are?”

Warren’s was struck with confusion again, “No? No, I- I don’t.”

(Y/n) felt her stomach drop, her eyes burning, “Warren? You- you don’t remember me?”

He looked at her, noticing her misty eyes, “No, I’m- I’m really sorry. You seem nice.”

Jean snapped her head towards Hank, “Now what?”

He was tapping his fingers against the frames of his glasses, thinking about this situation. “It seems like a minor case of amnesia, should be back to his normal self in a few days.”

(Y/n) could hear her heartbeat in her ears as her thoughts ran wild.

What if it isn’t minor amnesia? What if he never remembers me? Or never remembers himself? What if-

“(Y/n).”

Her head snapped towards Hank, “huh?”

“How about you go get some rest? You’ve been sitting in here for days, go rest.”

(Y/n) nodded, wobbling out of her chair. Before she left the room she took one last glance at Warren, sad that when he looked at her there was an emptiness in his eyes. He didn’t know her.

Jean waited until (Y/n) left the room to interrogate Warren, “You really don’t remember who you are? Or who she is?”

Warren’s mouth open and closed, “No, I-I’m sorry. Who is she?”

“Your girlfriend, dipshit!”

Hank interrupted Jean, “Hey now! Don’t be mad at him for having amnesia, it’s all our fault for letting the mission go sideways.”

Warren blinked, “Girlfriend? Her?”

Jubilee sat down in the now empty chair to answer, “Not official or anything, but you did ask her out and make out and stuff so yeah.”

Warren looked down at his feet out in front of him, “How could I not remember a girl like that? She looked so sad..”

Hank piped up again, “It’s not your fault, just give it some time. It’ll all come back.”

Warren nodded, his brain was busy wandering somewhere else. “What’s her name?”

Jubilee laughed, “(Y/n).”

He nodded once more, eyes starting to droop again.

Hank took note and ushered the other students away, “Give him room to rest. And please keep (Y/n) occupied, don’t need her going down a sad path because of this.”

It was a little too late to avoid the sadness road for (Y/n). She had grabbed lunch on the way from the infirmary to her dorm room. She realized it was the first real meal she had eaten the past two days. (Y/n) scarfed down her sandwich and headed back to her room, pulling the blankets over her. She felt gross and desperately wanted to take a shower, but just didn’t have the energy. Instead she felt herself start to drift off, eyes squeezed tight as if she could make everything and everyone disappear.

Warren visited her in her dreams, a recollection of memories from their last night together. His red cheeks when he confessed his feelings, his warm hands roaming her skin, his soft lips pressed against hers. And suddenly everything turned black and cold like the life of her memory had been sucked out. Warren turned to her, “Who are you?”

(Y/n) woke up in a sweat, breathing hard. She decided she needed to take a shower and clear her head.

After a 30 minute shower and a few tears shed, she went for a walk around the school to get her mind off Warren. Passing by the cafeteria she bumped into Scott and Peter, who probably just finished eating dinner.

“(Y/n)...hey.”

“Hey.”

Peter wrapped his arms around her in a tight squeeze, “It’ll be fine.”

(Y/n) shrugged him off, continuing to put on a brave face, “I know. I’m fine, guys, seriously.”

Scott gave her arm a pat, “Hank said it should just take a few days.”

(Y/n) nodded, wanting to escape the conversation of Warren. She took the beat of silence that followed as her moment to leave, so she did. Walking outside, she ran into Kurt.

“(Y/n)! Are you okay?”

She sighed, “I’m fine!”

(Y/n) pushed past Kurt and speed walked towards the pond.

How am I supposed to get my mind off of him if no one SHUTS UP ABOUT IT?

(Y/n) sat down by the pond, eyes focused on the water.

“Hey. (Y/n), right?”

“Oh for the LOVE OF GOD, I’M FINE!”

Her head whipped around to see Warren standing on the grass behind her, “Oh, I-I’m sorry, I thought you were someone else.”

“No, you’re good. I’m glad you’re okay.”

Warren took a seat next to her, his wing brushing against her shoulder.

“I’m really sorry. I know you’re upset, but I am trying to remember. I want to remember you, so badly.”

(Y/n)’s eyes began to burn, “It’s okay.”

Warren nodded, “Well that guy in the clinic said it should just be a few days.”

(Y/n) rolled her eyes, “I know, it’s just- never mind.”

“No, tell me.”

She shook her head, eyes on the water again.

“Come on, I’m your boyfriend, right? Tell me.”

(Y/n) could feel her heart sting, having been reminded that someone she loves so much doesn’t remember her.

“You’re not my boyfriend.”

“Well that girl said it wasn’t ‘official’ but still-”

“No, you’re not Warren. You don’t even know who I am.”

Warren opened his mouth, closing it realizing he didn’t know what to say.

(Y/n) looked towards him, her heart hurting once more. He was clearly frustrated with himself for not remembering anything and she wasn’t making it any easier for him.

“I’m sorry. You are Warren, just not my Warren. Fuck- you’re you and that’s good? Sorry-”

“Listen, I may not know who you are yet, but I care about you because.. well I don’t know why, but you obviously mean a lot to me and I want to hear what you have to say.”

God, she thought, how can he be so charming with amnesia?

“I love you.”

Warren’s eyes widened, “I- uh, okay.”

“Fuck- sorry that probably sounds really weird, but I’ve said it to you before and- and I don’t know it just slipped out.”

He nodded, biting his lip, “Did I say it back?”

“Yeah. We’re in- I mean, we were in love.”

“We still are, then.”

“What if you don’t love me when you remember me? Like- I don’t know. What if these few days not having feelings for me makes you not have feelings for me ever again? That’s- that’s what I wanted to say earlier.”

Warren let out a sigh, “(Y/n). I do have feelings for you. If I’ve said ‘I love you’ before then that’s not going to just go away because of some fucking memory loss.”

“But-”

“No buts!”

(Y/n) shook her head, “Fine.”

Warren nodded, “Okay, well- give me a few days. And I swear I’m trying to remember.”

A few days had passed. Actually, over a week had passed. Nothing.

Warren couldn’t remember anything. He kept trying to spend time with his supposed “friends” and “girlfriend” to trigger his memories, but nothing was coming back.”

It was now 4:00 in the afternoon. Warren had been sitting in Hank’s office for the last hour getting test after test run on his brain.

“What the fuck, Hank? You said a few days! It’s been almost two weeks!”

Hank’s head snapped up from his laptop, “Hey! Not my fault! Amnesia is tricky, it’s just takes time.”

“You said a few days and it’s taking forever. (Y/n) hates me.”

“What? Why?”

“Because,” Warren slammed his hands onto Hank’s desk, “every time she looks at me, she sees the boy she loves, but I don’t remember it! And it just keeps getting worse!”

“What’s getting worse?”

“Our situation!”

“How? Is your memory getting worse?”

“What? No! I like her, Hank! I realize why I fell in love with her. She’s- she’s everything. The more I see her, the deeper I fall and she can’t even talk to me without getting sad because I’m not the real me. I’m hurting her and I don’t know what to do so please! Fix my brain!”

“It’s not that easy, there’s nothing I can do.”

“Hank-”

“Warren! Just talk to her about this. I’m sure it would make her happy to see that even without all your memories of her, you still love her.”

Warren took Hank’s advice and set off to find (Y/n). She was eating dinner by herself as she often did since his fall, her head buried in a book.

Warren nervously tapped her on the shoulder, “H-hey.”

(Y/n) looked up at him, dark circles around her eyes showing from lack of sleep, “Hey?”

“Can I talk to you? Outside?”

(Y/n) nodded, standing up and following him out to the yard.

“What’s up?”

“I love you.”

(Y/n)’s breathe was caught in her throat. She coughed loudly, “You- you what?”

“I’m in love with you.”

“You don’t remember me.”

“Yes I do! I’ve known you for almost two weeks-”

“Two weeks!”

“And it only took two weeks for me to realize why I must’ve fallen in love with you in the first place! (Y/n), you’re perfect! Please, I- I know I’m not the Warren you fell in love with, but I will be that guy again soon, I know it.”

(Y/n) grabbed his face, pulling his lips to hers.

It was as if a firework went off inside of Warren’s stomach, being able to kiss the girl he loves. Then, he felt another firework going off inside his head. His mind was racing as different images came to him. Everything from tipping over his and (Y/n)’s canoe in the pond to the time Scott threw up on Jean at (Y/n)’s last birthday party. Warren also saw himself fall, the helicopter above him, the ocean getting closer until he smacked into the water. He broke off the kiss.

“(Y/n)!”

Warren wrapped his arms around her, squeezing her tight.

“What? Ow!”

He picked her up and spun her around, “I REMEMBER YOU! I LOVE YOU!”

“Put me down! Put me down!”

Warren placed her down on her feet, “I remember you!”

“You remember me!!!”

“Yes!! One time Scott threw up at your birthday party! The first Saturday of every month is your girls night with Jubilee, Jean, and Ororo! One time your top came off in the pond after I tipped our canoe and you flashed me! One time-”

(Y/n) cut him off by slamming her lips against his again. She pulled away, “I missed you so much, Warren.”

“I missed you more.”

Warren squeezed her tight once more, “I can’t believe I fell in love with you all over again.”

(Y/n) laughed, eyes misty from emotion, “I know.”

“We’re really meant to be, god I love you!”

He held her closer than he ever did before, so she’d never slip away.

taglist: @chocolatealmondmilkshake @thoughtlesspace @billyhargovesgurl @babebenhardy @rexorangecouny @cyndagoaway @killcomet @mcrmarvelloki @queen-turtle-boiii @hardlylo @ziggymay @jacqueline1916 @onceuponadetectivedemigod @ixchel-9275 @radiob-l-a-hblah

hmu to be added to my taglist!

#Warren Worthington #Warren Worthington III #warren worthington imagine #warren worthington x reader #ben hardy #ben hardy x reader

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warmau · 5 years

Text

Love Struck!AU x Monsta X

me: im not love struck. hyungwon: _____ me: pause

Shownu

you walk by and shownu sees it in slow motion, rose colored background and angel hymns playing in his ears

the food on his chopsticks falls right down because he’s still staring at the spot you where just in and jooheon gives him a weird look

when confronted with the idea that he sees you as something more than just a friend he short-circuits

“uh....well....that....well it....that....well...”

minhyuk: it’s ok, take your time

you catch him off guard one afternoon, reading a book recommended by one of his friends

you slip in beside him, pointing at one of the lines

“isn’t this a little too poetic for your taste, hyunwoo?”

his lips part, glasses threatening to slide down his nose as he forgets how to string together a sentence

you smile and a warmth bursts through his huge body that he’s never experienced before

you don’t notice his neck go pink as you lean in even closer

he’s so scared you might hear the white noise blaring through his mind as your arm brushes his

“do you like romance novels?”

you question, curiously and shownu wants to say one thing but all he can do is give out a curt

“i like you.”

Wonho

doesn’t know where to look when you’re in a room

eyes go this way and that way and he starts bothering hyungwon for attention or picking at the lint on his sweater

when you address him, smiley and sweet, he knows his ears are on fire

and that if he makes a quick escape you might not notice

so he always has some outlandish excuse

“kihyun needs me to crack his back - he’s getting so old these days!” “i made plans to go to the market.........in busan” “ouch! i think im having a heart attack - talk to you later?”

closes his eyes and the first image in his mind is you - every time

shakes his head like a confused puppy like: stop thinking about them!

but he can’t,,,,,he’s stuck

“i don’t get it - why do i keep thinking about them?”

kihyun deadpan: “you’re in love”

changkyun: “oh i was just gonna say he’s sick, but i guess that’s the same thing.”

for some reason you’re at the gym before him and wonho debates just turning around and dipping

so he keeps going in and out of the changing room with his duffel bag and everyone is like ..........?

until you spot him and wave and boy damn near drops this heavy bag on his foot out of surprise

you show him that you’re getting stronger, flexing up your arm and wonho just can’t control himself

“you’re so cute”

“what?”

“I MEANT........the dumbbells are just getting cuter........huh............”

Kihyun

suaveness backfires on him very hard

“the weather is so hot today and so are,,,,,,,,,” “and so is?” “and ,,,,,,,,, so are ,,,,,,, these pants why’d i wear jeans in the heat hahaha i need to go”

pickup lines he can never finish and you just look at him quizzically as he tries to save face

will not admit it to anyone but practices greeting you in the mirror

gets caught by shownu who blankly watches kihyun posing in front of the mirror until it’s been fifteen minutes and shownu is like dude, get out - i need to shower

loud and confident usually, but somehow it becomes a little awkward when you’re around

voice cracks on two or three occasions

you get invited to the summer barbecue kihyun is throwing and of course he plans everything perfectly

except for the fact that this is a beach and so everyone is showing up in,,,,,,,beach attire

and when you come running down the beach toward him, kihyun drops the burger he was in the middle of flipping and nearly burns himself on the grill

and you’re like oh shit are you ok and he’s like what do you mean im dandy ,,,,, as he almost puts his hand down on the grill AGAIN

and you have to catch him and scold him for not paying attention

and he whines because “it’s hard to pay attention”

and you’re like why??? it’s easy - just don’t put your hand donw on the fire-

but he’s like no no it’s hard to pay attention because,,,,,,,because

you: because???

minhyuk strolling by munching on his watermelon: because you’re in a swimsuit and kihyun has the mind of a dog

you: wh-

OOP too late, kihyun is chasing minhyuk down the beach with his skewers

Minhyuk

won’t shut up about you

“anyway they were playing the piano with me and they were doing so well even though they said they hadn’t played in YEARS!” “i think they cut their hair a little shorter, it looks nice did you guys see it what did you think?” “oh look they have the game they were telling me about-”

it’s like he’s the daily news alert

but all the news is about you

and when he talks about you - his eyes gleam with sparkles, he almost goes into a day dreamy like trance

if hearts could start swirling around his head, they would

but when he is (rightfully so) accused of having feelings for you

he’s like

“WHAT? WHERE IS THE EVIDENCE?”

everyone: our ears hurt because you haven’t stopped talking about them once so ,,,,,, maybe ,,,,,,,, that’s the damn evidence

refuses it before jumping back into a long rant about how adorable and perfect you are

one afternoon, hyungwon decides he’s had enough, so he tells you that you should try beating minhyuk at talking

so you and minhyuk play the compliment game - spewing sweet and corny things about each other back and forth

until you inch close enough that your noses almost brush

and you go

“minhyuk, you’re so pretty far away but up close it’s even better!”

he’s so shocked, flattered, and over the moon that he stares at you speechless

and hyungwon is like “finally. silence”

you start to wrry when minhyuk is frozen for ten minutes straight and you’re like “how do i get him to function again”

hyungwon: idk. kiss him.

Jooheon

faints every time you lay a hand on him

both metaphorically and physically

like you were accidentally pushed against his chest during the bus ride home and next thing you knew he almost blacked out and hit his head on the hand pole

obliviously, you always assume it’s because he’s dehydrated or tired

minhyuk: looking into the camera like he’s on the office

gets all tingly and giggly when you touch his shoulder

makes squeaking sounds when your hand brushes against his

basically becomes a big mushy puddle of heart eyes

and mumbling incoherent sentences of affection

you: omg i think he might be having fever delusions or something

hyungwon: no,,,,,,,,,that’s definitely not it,,,,,,,,,

hates being told he should “just confess” like what the fuck do you mean “just confess” bold of you all to assume he can “JUST CONFESS”

everyone wonders what will happen when you two start dating and jooheon gets to kiss you

like will he just,,,,,,,,turn to dust? probably

you want to join the guys for lunch after their practice but the table is so cramped so you jokingly ask jooheon if “this seat is taken?” will pointing to his lap

never in your life have you seen someone flip their whole plate over to make room for yours and nod so hard you think it might snap their neck

you, embarrassed: o-oh i was just,,,,joking,,,,but,,,,um,,,if it’s ok,,,,,?

jooheon getting ready to just, turn to to jelly when you sit down:

changkyun: if he dies i get the rest of his rice

Hyungwon

hard to read expression when you’re around but sirens are going THE FUCK OFF in his head whenever you as much as smile

anything you ask him or any questions directed at him from anyone else is just answered with a “hehe,,,,yeah”

can’t formulate much of a thought outside of: holy shit they’re so cute holy shit what do i do holy shit just lean up against the wall it’s fine holy shi-

minhyuk: bro what do you wanna eat?”

hyungwon looking over his head at where you’re talking with shownu: hehe,,,,sure

minhyuk: cool hyungwon machine broken

his nervous habit is chewing on his bottom lip and you think he’s just concentrating on music or on something

but head empty. just you. that’s it.

you ask hyungwon to teach you a little about turntables and being a dj

and he’s like “oh sure” but then you stand directly in front of him, back almost against his chest as you play around with the different switches

and he like,,,,,,,seizes function

and you’re like “oo can i try these on?” pointing to the headphones around his neck

and when you reach out to take them off, he just takes a hold of your wrists and you’re like “oh? i shouldn’t touch them?”

and he’s just like hyungwon, c’mon say something cool. say something that won’t be embarrassing like hehe yeah. this is your moment!

“you can touch me anywhere”

“what?”

“............i mean hehe sure.......”

Changkyun

in capital L love with you but pretends he isn’t

crosses his arms and tries to keep a straight face when it’s obvious you’re doing something adorable and everyone else in the room is like ahhhh cute!!!

changkyun, scoffing: it isn’t even that cute...........

wonho: you shouldnt lie with the lord watching changkyun

changkyun: what

when you’re not looking, he steals glances and lowkey hates the fact that later he’ll be trying to work on something

and he’ll remember how you looked today and it’ll make him pause and just,,,,,,,kinda wish he could just walk over and talk to you

there’s really no reason he won’t just ask you out - he’s just being a big baby

you think he doesn’t really like you all that much so you get a bit anxious when asking him for a favor

but you really wanna throw a surprise party for another member so you end up asking changkyun for some help

but when you do, you accidentally hiccup in the same sentence

and you’re like oh no im a fool but

but changkyun just breaks

“how are even your hiccups cute????????”

“wh-what?”

changkyun, reaching his breaking point over a damn hiccup: “oh my god im in loooooove with you”

“wh-what??!?!?!?”

changkyun, laughing without stopping as he pulls you into his arms LOL

jooheon later on in the day: so you’re telling me you confessed to them because. they hiccuped?

changkyun: yeah. im also contacting the genius world record to ask them to put it in as the cutest hiccup to have ever been hiccuped

jooheon: ok. whipped much.

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cami-chats · 4 years

Text

My Blood Red Heart

Written for @marvelpolyshipbingo

Rating: Teen

Warnings/Triggers: Winter Soldier/Red Room mentions

Pairings: Tony Stark/Bucky Barnes/Natasha Romanoff

Summary: Bucky recognizes his forgotten soulmate while in the middle of a fight. Natasha saves him, they save the day, and Tony invites them back to the Tower. Falling for her was easy, so why not fall for him too?

Square Filled: B2-Murder Strut

Read on AO3 or below

The Soldier watched her run away, but there was no satisfaction in it, not when she was severely outgunned and still had the time to toss that fucking smirk over her shoulder as she went. She was the bigger threat. The target had gone down. He'd get back up, the Soldier knew that, but she could actually stop them if she wanted. She'd tricked him, and the only thing that had saved him was luck. She'd hit the glasses instead of an inch higher; that wasn't because of anything he'd done.

His eyes followed her. She was taking a fairly straight path which would've been a mistake if she wasn't so obviously trying to prevent civilian casualties. "I have her," he said. If they went after her, they wouldn't even make it a full minute. "Find him." He vaulted over the concrete wall and landed on top of a car with a crash that made his legs ache for a moment.

She ducked between two cars before he could raise his gun, and there were more cars on the other side of an overturned bus-- a miniature maze where the prize was pulling the trigger first. He strode to the other side of the road with sure steps, then slowed, glancing back and forth and listening for the smallest sound. She was too good to have loud steps, but he should be able to- he came to a stop. She was talking quietly, but it was enough. Calling for reinforcements wouldn't be enough to save her, but it could save the two men she'd been in the car with if the team accompanying him felt particularly useless today.

He reached to his back with his left hand, fingers catching on a small bomb. He lowered himself and rolled it towards her, then straightened and raised his gun again; there was no way the bomb alone would kill her as she'd see it and dodge, but that would leave him with an opportunity. There was something familiar about her, more familiar than that shield the target had used on the bridge. His handler would mention it during the debrief, most likely, so he didn't need to think about it. The explosive went off and he tightened the gun to his shoulder, only to be thrown off balance when something hit the side of him and knocked the gun out of his hands.

He didn't have the chance to get his feet under him before he heard the quick whir of a garrote wire, and he shoved his hand up near his neck. It just barely caught the wire in time, grinding against the metal of his hand, and as he tried to find his center again, the familiarity struck him again, more distinct than before. He stumbled backward and she hit a car with a grunt, but her grip didn't loosen. For a moment he tried to get the wire completely away, but the angle was bad and she had too much leverage where she was hanging off his shoulders. With his free hand, he reached up and gripped with the intent of throwing her over his shoulder. He started to, and then he froze, memories hitting him straight in the stomach like a brick.

She fell barely a foot away from his aborted move.

"Natasha," he gasped, and she stopped, half a second from throwing something at him. His eyes were wide, and he didn't know- what the hell was going on? He stumbled back half a step, bumping into the car again, and this time he didn't move.

She got to her feet, still holding that small disc in her hands. Her expression was hopeful but her body language was wary, angled so that she could throw it at him and make a run for it if she needed. Smart, but she'd always been smart. "Yasha," she returned evenly.

"What the hell is going on?" he asked, and he didn't even care how desperate it came out.

She glanced over his shoulder nervously, then back at him. "Not now, we need to leave."

He didn't know how to think about where he was or how he'd gotten to this specific point in time, but he could get them out. Leaving was easy. They started to run, moving together like no time had passed since they'd been on the same side. No words were necessary; when Natasha moved one way, he knew it meant they were about to take a hard left, and they moved in tandem. The deafening sound of a mini gun spitting bullets started, but it wasn't at them. She glanced towards the noise, slowly an almost unnoticeable amount.

He grabbed her arm and made her keep pace, gruffly saying, "They'll be fine." The target was up, and without him the others didn't stand a chance. If they took too long, there would be news sites coming to film, and they wouldn't be able to kill him; they would definitely take too long, the idiots.

They made it far enough away, he took off the mask, and she lifted a hoodie for him. In DC, there wasn't really such a thing as 'out of the way'. Where there wasn't video surveillance, there were guards, and most of the time there were both. So when they stopped to try and formulate a plan, it wasn't because they were completely hidden, it was because they were as out of the way as they could be. There weren't any safe houses that would actually be safe. Fury was dead-- god, Bucky had killed him, he hadn't thought about it at the time, but that had been the last major defense against Hydra and he'd shot that chance without a though-- Hill was in the wind likely dead, and Rogers and Wilson were the ones in need of rescue.

Natasha let out a frustrated breath. "We need backup." But there wasn't any.

"What about Stark?"

Natasha looked at him sharply. "We aren't dragging him into this mess."

Bucky raised an eyebrow, staring at her flatly. "Right. Hydra taking over won't effect him at all." He knew it had been a damn long time since he'd known her, but since when did she care about people this way? Stark could more than take care of himself-- the multiple failed assassination attempts by Hydra were proof enough about that-- and if he could take care of himself, there was no reason for her to be worried. No reason that Bucky could think of right now, at least.

"We aren't in New York."

"He has a flying suit," Bucky said drily.

"We have no way of contacting him," she tried.

Bucky held up a phone he'd swiped from someone's bag-- they'd survive, they had another one for some reason. Hoodie pockets were great. He also had a couple snacks in there, but they were for after Natasha made the phone call that would save their asses. He cared about whatever was holding her back, but not more than he cared about their lives.

With a regretful sigh, she snatched the phone from his hand and dialed, the number clearly memorized to perfection even though she couldn't have had much cause to use it.

It was several, long rings before Tony answered, a confused, "Hello?"

"It's Natasha." There was a shy, hesitant quality to her voice, and Bucky wondered when he'd stop being surprised by things now that he was... himself again.

A pause, then, in a tone too casual to be genuine, Tony said, "You know, there was some footage of that epic battle you just got into. I know some drivers can be dumb, but I think you took it a little too hard this time. You gotta learn to take deep breaths and let it go. Maybe we should pencil you in for some meditation time with Bruce. So Steve and that other guy-- you know, the handsome one in the green shirt, he looks kinda familiar, maybe he should drop by when all is said and done-- got taken in by some people in SHIELD uniforms, and you vanished. I'd be offended you didn't call me in to join the party, but I'm guessing that's what this is. Unless you wanted to RSVP for the New Years party. Six months early is a bit much, but you spy types are always on top of things."

Natasha smiled, but her tone was clear of it when she responded. "Not sure about New Years yet, but we could use some support down here."

"Already in the suit. Where are you?"

"What, you can't trace the call?"

"Not while I'm tracking the transport that has Stevie-boy in it. Am I grabbing him or you first?"

"Him. Yasha and I can survive a little longer without you."

"Who the hell is Yasha?"

Natasha's eyes flickered to Bucky. "Long story."

"Okay," Tony said, drawing out the second syllable to show how much he didn't like that brushoff. "This number good to reach you at?"

"We'll hold on to it until we hear from you." Normally she would ditch it right away, but there was no point when they had no other way to contact him.

"I'd tell you when to expect a call except I'm breaking my own safety protocols right now, so maybe I'll die in a fiery twist of metal like my nanny always predicted. Stay safe," he said, then hung up.

"You're close," Bucky noted.

"Not really," she said, but she had to know that he could tell when she was lying. It was probably a soulmate thing that he always knew when she was telling the truth and when she wasn’t, because she'd always been able to fool handlers.

Bucky didn't say anything to that, just pulled a cap from his hoodie pocket and offered it to her.

She put it on and looped her hair through the hole in the back. "I did a profile on him right after Iron Man. We talk, but he doesn't trust me."

"Anyone other than me trust you?" he asked, arm around her shoulders as they started walking again.

"A few people." The one that recruited her to SHIELD. Fury, before he had died, maybe Hill as well. Steve might. He'd seen something about the Avengers before, but they seemed more like individuals with a common goal than a team. The fact that Natasha hadn't automatically called them was proof enough that they weren't a team.

By the time the dust settled, it was obvious that Hydra had counted on Iron Man being out of the way. Bucky could recall some of Hydra talking about the Mandarin and the aftermath keeping Stark busy, but he didn't think that was important to share. Iron Man was there, a hell of a lot more firepower and brainpower than they'd planned for. Fury was alive and Hill was with him, which explained where they'd been at the start of this mess. Well, Fury was barely alive. He'd kind of been shot to hell, and Bucky made eye contact with him exactly once to make sure he wasn't taking it personally. Maybe Fury trusted Natasha, but Bucky was part of the much larger group of 'everyone else' aka 'people he didn't trust'.

It was ridiculously impressive how much everyone trusted Natasha actually. She might think she was untrustworthy, but everyone in the room believed in her. Proof? They'd all given Bucky suspicious looks and Stark had outright asked why they were trusting the guy that had been attacking them a couple hours ago, and all Natasha had to say was, "He's on our side," to shut them up.

"Anyone need a place to stay?" Tony asked. Then, without waiting for an answer, "Of course you do. You-" he pointed at Fury and Hill "-lost your fancy carriers and compromised your entire organization. And you three-" Steve, Natasha, and Sam, but not Bucky since he'd basically been a Hydra attack dog "-lost your homes when they fucked up. C'mon, the tower's great. Pepper won't even be able to get mad at me for inviting all of you back."

"Why would Pepper be mad at you?" Steve asked.

"She doesn't like half of you. Natasha's her buddy, but she doesn't know Sam or Bucky. You SHIELD higher ups though, you're on thin ice. Something about paperwork and an inefficient organization, I don't really know."

As they'd been doing all day, they just listened to Tony and followed after him. It was easy to do that when Tony was constantly proving to make the right decisions. Besides, who else were they going to listen to? Fury? He was the only other one with ideas, but right now he was bedridden, so his usual intimidation tactics didn't work. Plus he had a hell of a lot of work to do to rebuild SHIELD, and none of them needed to be there for that.

Tony decided that instead of flying out to the Tower and grabbing the quinjet to get all of them, they were just going to drive. Bucky wasn't allowed, Sam refused, and Steve was banned from ever driving when Tony was around. Natasha could have, but Tony offered then went off to find a rental. Which meant that none of them got to complain when he showed up in a minivan with a gleeful smile. Of course, that did mean that no one sat in the front seat next to him since Sam and Steve had paired off and Natasha wasn't letting Bucky out of arm's reach.

"This is fun," Tony said. "It's like I'm the mom-friend of the group. Wait until Rhodey hears about this, he'll mock you all silly, normally I'm the one that has to deal with that. And since none of you are in the passenger seat and get to complain, you have to deal with my music." He turned on something with lots of drums and screeching guitars, but after the first song he switched it to only be sounding in the front.

The rest of them were silent for most of the drive. Steve was trying to process the fact that Bucky was alive but was nothing like how he'd used to be. They wouldn't be able to talk about it with everyone here, and that was if they talked about it at all. Bucky was closed off, silent and brooding. Natasha had mentioned the phrase 'tall dark and handsome' before, and he was pretty sure that was the category Bucky fell into now, as opposed to well groomed and a gentleman like he'd been before.

Sam... well Bucky didn't know Sam all that well, but he was probably thinking about how weird it was that one day he'd been having breakfast and the next he was in a minivan with half the Avengers plus a newly retired Hydra assassin. That had to mess with anyone. As for Bucky and Natasha, well, they were used to not talking.

"Sorry I ripped the steering wheel out," Bucky said to Sam.

Sam grunted. He probably wanted an apology for trying to kill him, but Bucky would spend the rest of his life saying that to people if he started now so he didn't care very much.

"He's grumpy because he hasn't had something to eat all day," Natasha said.

"That sounds like an excuse to go to McDonald's," Tony called from the front, opting to yell over the music rather than turn it down. But he did turn it down when he got to the drive thru window because he was a nice guy. And because he was an even nicer guy, he got burgers for everyone, not just himself and Sam. But he was the only one that got a milkshake. Not that Bucky or Natasha minded, but he hadn't even offered. It was the principle of the matter.

"Do they know about you?" Bucky asked her in a low tone. Steve, with his enhanced hearing, would've been able to make out the words if he spoke Russian.

"No."

"You going to tell them?"

"It hasn't come up."

Bucky snorted. Just because no one had directly asked her if she was enhanced didn't mean the topic hadn't come up. She was on a team with other enhanced people, they had definitely talked about it before.

Natasha wrote down a quick summary instead of a full report. "SHIELD has bigger problems than the specifics of how they fell," was her excuse, and Bucky couldn't agree more. Steve, on the other hand, wrote down every little detail. He didn't send it anywhere, so it was likely a way for him to work through what had happened. Not that Bucky was around by the time he finished. Tony went to the kitchen then his workshop, and Sam stuck close to Steve's side. Whether that was because he was nervous or some other-- maybe soulmate related-- reason, he wasn't sure.

Natasha either had a regular room she crashed in, or she just knew which rooms were available for use, because she dragged Bucky off to one of them without checking with Stark. She locked the door as soon as they were both inside, then pointed at a door off to the side. "If you want to get cleaned up."

Bucky didn't, really. He didn't want to do much of anything because that meant dealing with everything he couldn't remember and what he'd missed. But he'd always been able to listen to her, and right now was no exception. He walked towards the bathroom and started stripping off his tac vest. All the knives and guns lined up on a side table by the bed-- less than he should've had, he was running low after the fight-- before he went all the way into the bathroom.

Memories were like sand-- you thought it was all gone until you shifted and found some more. It wasn't much, just the feeling whenever he untied his boots and pulled off his pants; it had been a while since he'd been able to do this in private. After the Red Room, he'd been kept on a damn short leash. Hydra didn't know what to do with him after that. Going on ice had hurt and made it worse for their long term plans for him. Wiping him hurt, but it did help them out temporarily. He'd been a weapon. Not an assassin, not the Fist of Hydra like Pierce had taken to calling him. A weapon, meticulously cleaned and maintained. Slight chinks were overlooked because he had still been the best weapon they had, even dealing with the issues that consistently and continuously cropped up.

The shoes had blood and dirt, and everything had been drenched in water at one point. Air drying was bullshit and made him feel crusty. He didn't really know how good laundry machines were, but the black of his pants covered any bloodstains that were there so it might not matter in the end.

He stepped in the tub and turned on the water. Did he know how to work it? No, but it's not like hot water from a shower faucet could burn him. When the water first came on, it was freezing, but it turned warm quickly. Perks of using a rich fella's shower. He saw Natasha come in, and she closed the bathroom door. Her clothes really were ruined. She hadn't had her suit, so she was in the same clothes that she'd had on the interstate. Civilian clothes couldn't take a pounding for shit. The mud probably wouldn't come out, and the blood definitely wouldn't; as she undressed, she tossed the clothes directly into the trashcan.

There was dirt crusted into her hair. She probably wasn't happy about that, said it reminded her of wading through a sewer-- Bucky never had asked why she knew how that felt when she'd been in the Red Room since she was eight. She joined him in the shower, sliding the distorted glass door across so they were closed off. She leaned her forehead against his back, neither of them moving.

"Do we have any clothes?"

"There are extras in the closet."

She hadn't checked since they entered, so she must have known that from past experience. Bucky sighed, grabbing the soap and rubbing it quickly across his chest and under his arms. It smelled pretty and floral, and it felt far too expensive. In the past fifty years, he'd had the type of soap that his healing factor had to work on. Effective in cleaning, but it stung like hell.

Natasha helpfully moved her head from where she'd been leaning against him, but otherwise she did nothing, enjoying the steam and the company.

A minute later, Bucky tried to move out of the way for her, but she stopped him with a hand on his waist and a raised eyebrow. "You're not getting out with your hair like that."

Like what? His hair was fine.

Natasha rolled her eyes like she'd been able to hear that and grabbed a blue bottle from the shelf. She squirted some of the shampoo-- also floral, dear lord, Bucky was going to smell like a fucking bouquet when he got out-- into her hand and started lathering it into Bucky's hair. He closed his eyes, ostensibly to make sure none of it got in, and leaned into her hands. She spent more time massaging his scalp than was strictly necessary, but he wasn't going to complain and she wasn't going to mention it either.

"Rinse," she said, so Bucky tilted his head back and started to work on getting all the suds out.

And after that, it was only fair to do her hair for her too. They stayed in there for a long time, but the water didn't turn cold-- perks of staying with someone rich. It was a good thing that they had nowhere to go, because now he didn't have to ask Natasha if they could stay; they had to.

Bucky dried off then collapsed on the bed without bothering to look for those clothes Natasha had mentioned. Chances were they wouldn't fit anyways. Natasha got under the covers next to him. Then she sighed. "I left the light on."

Bucky got up before she could do more than start to move, and he turned the light off before going back to bed. The mattress was like a goddamn marshmallow, the sheets a higher thread count than anything he'd touched before, and the blanket was already warming him up. It would be wonderful if it wasn't so different that it threw him off kilter. He didn't bother staying there for long before he got down and laid on the floor.

"Mm Yasha, what're you doing?"

"Sleeping," he grumbled.

She pushed herself up and scooted more towards his side of the bed, peering over the side at him. Enhanced eyesight was a perk of the serums they'd both been given. She couldn't make out his expression or exactly where his nose was, but she could see him. He was on his side, looking just as at ease as he'd ever been. Natasha liked the fluffy bed. What she would like even more, was to be next to Yasha while she slept; she always slept better when she wasn't by herself. So even though she'd been looking forward to an overly comfortable bed after months on SHIELD standard bedding, she got to her feet, pulling the blanket with her.

Bucky lifted his head when he saw her moving, and he snorted when she laid down next to him. She was even nice enough to share the blanket with him. She wrapped an arm around his waist after she got all her hair out of the way. "Get some sleep."

Tony felt like pounding his head against the wall. So he did. He was an absolute, complete, total idiot for falling in love with Natasha. The only interest she'd ever shown in him was when she'd been undercover, and she hadn't trusted him for the longest time after that. He tried so hard to let her know that she could ask him for anything, and he didn't even care that it came off as desperate because he was and she certainly knew that.

The long lost Bucky Barnes and assassin for Hydra was her boyfriend. That was not as big a surprise as the guy being alive in the first place, and he cared more about the first part than the second because he'd already known that he didn't stand a chance with her.

Thankfully, everyone had come back to the Tower with him, so he didn't have to do anything pesky like stalk them to ask what he wanted to know. He was going to make breakfast as a peace offering (and also bring Barnes clothes because he definitely did not have a bag with him, and no way in hell was he going to be able to fit in what Nat had).

The only problem with this plan was that it was nighttime. Tony sighed and headed to the workshop. "J, set an alarm for six thirty tomorrow morning, I need to remember to order breakfast."

"Of course, sir."

"Thanks buddy." Tony walked through the doors, and DUM-E activated from his charging station, wheeling out with a questioning beep. "Don't worry, kiddo, daddy's going to get some work done. Back to sleep with you."

DUM-E, of course, didn't listen, and instead went to finish arranging the spare parts Tony had around for the cars. Since he wasn't going to be in the way doing that, Tony let him have his fun and opened up a few internet windows. Time to get to work on that mess Hydra had made.

The time flew by when JARVIS gave him the set alarm, and even though Tony wasn't anywhere near done, he figured a break to recharge couldn't hurt, especially when the dealings with humans were more time sensitive.

They woke up when someone knocked on the door. Natasha groaned, then yelled, "What!" in the direction of the door.

"It's Tony! I was hoping for a little breakfast, maybe some juice, maybe the explanation about how you know Cap's old buddy!" A pause. "Or how he's alive, that would be good too!"

Natasha groaned, then yelled back, "We'll meet you in the kitchen!" She planted her face against Bucky's chest for a moment, then pushed herself up. "Do you have answers for him?"

"You know as much as I do," Bucky mumbled, rubbing at his face.

"Great," she said, stretching. There were clothes around here somewhere, she just needed to find them and hope they were big enough for Bucky to fit into. If not, well, he'd dealt with far worse than walking around in tight pants. As it turned out, there were only clothes fit to Natasha's size, and he wouldn't be able to squeeze into any of that. "I'll go ask Steve for some extras," she said, opening the door, only to pause. Right outside was a stack of jeans and a t-shirt. "Nevermind." She picked them up and turned back around, kicking the door shut. She tossed them at Bucky and he caught them, then slid them on.

"I don't really remember Steve," he said, zipping up the pants. "I don't remember what I was doing on the bridge."

"What do you remember?"

"The Red Room. Some of our missions afterwards. I... remember they-" he stopped. They'd found out about him and Natasha, and they'd sent him away because both of them were too valuable-- too well trained-- to kill. After that, just shadows of what he'd done. It was like trying to remember the details of a book he'd read years ago. He remembered a chair with jolts of electricity, he remembered the new order of Hydra and how they'd tried to convince him he was one of them, and he remembered ice. Flashes that didn't make sense. He didn't really remember Steve. More like a memory of a story he'd heard once. That wasn't what Steve would want to hear, he knew that much. "I don't remember anything important," he ended up saying.

She looked at him for a minute; she knew he was holding something back, but she didn't press him about it. And that, right there, was why they got along so well. He didn't want to talk about it, and she knew that if she waited long enough, he'd bring it up again. Not that he wanted to admit that he'd bring it up again, but, well, they both knew better. "We might as well go to breakfast before Tony thinks we abandoned him." She opened the door and Bucky followed her automatically.

Tony was munching on toast when they came in, and he pushed the massive jug of orange juice towards them. "I always thought one vintage super soldier was enough for a group, but I guess I'll have to reconsider."

Bucky shrugged as he picked up the jug. Natasha put a glass between him and the orange juice, so he redirected and poured some in the glass. "Hydra experiments," he said nonchalantly. He drained the glass, then refilled it. "Fucks with your mind sometimes." And that's all he was going to say about it.

Tony must have picked that up, because he accepted it. "Yeah, fuck Hydra, I think that's something we can all agree on. Not that I really care," he lied, "but how do you and Natasha know each other? She never worked for Hydra."

"A lot of organizations help Hydra without working for them," Natasha said, and that was all she planned on saying too.

"Do all spies have trouble answering questions like normal people, or is it just the two of you?"

"When was the last time Clint answered a question straight that wasn't about food?" Nat countered.

"You've got a point, but it doesn't match my annoyance with you so I'm going to pretend it's not true."

Bucky snorted. No one bothered to tell him the really good things. Natasha was here, and obviously that was nice, but couldn't she have mentioned that Tony was funny? He'd kinda thought coming here would only lead to avoiding Steve, not actually enjoying anything else.

Tony had ordered in, so he uncovered one of the breakfast platters and took a little for himself, then pushed the rest towards Nat. Then he opened a completely full one for Bucky. He haphazardly tossed forks into the containers, but it didn't look like he'd be surprised if they shoved their faces straight in. Whatever, he was starting with bacon anyways, he didn't need a fork for that.

"Steve's not an easy person to keep out," Tony continued between new bites and half chewed food. "You don't have to talk to him today, and not about anything important, but when he starts cracking heads in, mine will be the first to go. You may not care about that, but I don't have a healing factor so I'd like to avoid all this possible damage."

"He wouldn't hurt you," Natasha said, rolling her eyes.

"That's what you think; he likes you."

"He likes you too."

"Not as much. I think it's the hair, he prefers long and luxurious over well sculpted beards. I think it's a bullshit forties thing."

"It's not," Bucky said. He didn't have any evidence for that, but he was pretty sure Steve had been unable to grow a beard for a while. After the serum that was probably fixed, but he wasn't over it. Or at least, that was his leading theory. Personally, Bucky had always liked a little facial hair.

"Oh yeah? You like the beard?" Tony asked with a wink.

"What's not to like?" he responded, and maybe it was a little too easy for him to say that. Natasha was too good to stare at him straight out for it, but he could tell that it perked her interest.

"You like him," she said as soon as they were alone, back in the relative privacy of their room.

"You love him."

They stared at each other.

"I have a crush," he said softly. "He's handsome and doesn't look at me like he expects something."

More silence. This should be the part where she admitted why she loved him. Bucky had never been the jealous sort, if only because that wasn't the sort of relationship they'd had. It had been intense and all consuming, but when she was working missions there wasn't room for that shit.

"I don't care." It doesn't matter if she loved someone other than him, they were still together. Another bedmate, another partner... they still had each other at the end of the day, and that was the only part he cared about. "You love him," he said again, more gentle than before. Gentle was never something he'd been good at, but it felt like what the situation needed so he tried.

Natasha swallowed. "Love is for children." And she'd never thought she had enough innocence to make it work. She didn't seem to realize that there was more to it than that. Oh when dealing with other people, she knew, but when it came to herself, it's like she forgot all the facts, all the statistics, all the reasons people behaved the way they did-- why she behaved the way she did. He understood it all too well, but that didn't mean he knew how to help.

"Is that what we had?" he mused. "Love?" Like jealousy, they hadn't worked in terms of 'love', but that was a different time for them. Already, he was settling into old patterns. He didn't quite remember why or what those patterns were, but he could feel himself sinking into them.

"Had?"

Bucky shrugged. "Have. You can't tell me you know what we're doing."

"We're... existing."

"Then why would I have a problem with you 'existing' with Tony too?"

"You're not jealous," she snorted.

That didn't even require a response; of course he wasn't. "That's my point."

She looked at him for a long moment, then shook her head.

He didn't bring it up again. Not later that night, not the next day, not the next week, and not at any point in the next month when they stayed at the Tower without really meaning to. It's just that leaving would mean having to figure out what-- if anything-- they wanted to do other than clean up after Shield. Staying meant Natasha could go about her life almost as if nothing had changed, and Bucky was able to catch up with Steve and work out the stupid amount of energy he had; staying on ice and being half starved meant he was never restless, but Tony kept insisting that he eat until he was full and this was the result-- fuck Tony.

So when Bucky finally got an official answer from Natasha, it was over a month after he asked. Bucky was sharpening knives in the living room, all of them spread out on the carpet next to him on the ground. She sat on the couch behind him and said, "You're right."

Of course, he had no fucking idea what that meant, because they hadn't been talking about anything this could apply to today. "About?"

"Tony."

Unfortunately, that didn't clear it up for him. He said a lot about Tony, and he already knew he was right about all of it.

They sat in silence for a minute before she elaborated. "How I feel about him."

"Yeah." A month wasn't that long for an admission. Tony might disagree if they ever got around to telling him, but he was what, forty? Natasha was twice that, and Bucky was maybe older, depending on how you calculated it.

"You like him too."

"Course I do, I already told you that."

"You said it was a crush," she said, and the implication hung heavy in the air. It had only been a crush when he said it, because he was Tony fucking Stark, and he was Iron Man, and he was gorgeous, and he'd seen shit but still grinned every day like it didn't matter. Tony made everything easy but let you pretend it wasn't, and Bucky fell for him in the same way. Cause honestly, who the hell saw the Winter Soldier and decided they could force him to go to a carnival just to hold all the prizes they won? Tony, that's fucking who. Not that Bucky had gone alone, he'd dragged Natasha along, ostensibly so he wasn't suffering by himself but she'd definitely known better and Tony probably had too.

The slight tightness in his chest was completely irrational; Natasha already knew what it had become, and she was just as okay with it as Bucky was with her own feelings. It was a conditioned response to admitting anything he cared about though, so he swallowed past it and said, "Was."

"Are we telling him?"

The knife made a clear sound against the stone as he slid it along the edge. "Why bother?"

"He... might be interested."

Bucky hummed noncommittally. It's not that he thought she was wrong, but he didn't think it would go anywhere good. Tony was... different. He wasn't like them. He was a hero, they were ex-Soviet assassins that did good things mostly by accident-- well, he did, Natasha actually tried. And if he was interested and they did end up with it going towards a future together, Tony was still going to end up dead long before both of them. That wasn't something he wanted to get caught up in. It just... wouldn't be worth it. Tony was worth a whole goddamn lot, but Bucky didn't want to invite that kinda heartbreak.

Sometimes it felt like Natasha could read his mind, because she leaned forward, hair swishing against his ear and pressing a soft kiss to his temple. "You-" another kiss, this time to his cheek "-are so-" a kiss to his jaw "-stupid."

"Thanks?"

"If you don't have a good reason, we're telling him."

"And if I say it makes me uncomfortable?"

She kissed his cheek again before leaning back to her former position. "I would say you're lying and that means I don't have to listen to you. So don't try that."

"Could I say anything to stop this?"

Natasha curled a hand up his next to tangle her fingers in his hair. She scratched lightly at his scalp, and he stopped trying to sharpen his knives to enjoy it. "I'm not trying to force you into this. But I thought it was something we both wanted. I've seen the way you look at him, and there's no reason he wouldn't fit between us."

"Don't say it like that or he'll think you mean sex."

"Is that a yes?"

"You know it is."

Natasha hummed. "I suppose we'll have to plan how to ask him."

He picked his hands back up and went back to work. "You're overthinking it. We ask him to dinner as a date, and that's our answer."

"Tony, would you like to go to Geraldi's tonight?" Natasha asked. Tony was hunched over the shop's table working, Bucky was working on one of his cars, and Natasha was stacking the items in the fridge until Bucky wanted help.

"Sure."

"As a date?"

Tony's head popped up, frowning. He looked at her, then Bucky, then back to her. "Uh. Did I miss something?"

"Not as far as I know," Bucky said from where he was putting a muffler together.

"Okay," Tony said slowly.

"Great! We'll leave here at seven."

Tony opened his mouth to say that that's not what he'd meant, but he closed it a moment later, frowning. "Seven, got it." He'd figure out what was going on later. For now, he was going to finish what he was doing. As for later, he was going to enjoy dinner when it happened because he fucking loved Geraldi's, and he wasn't going to let the impossibility of it being a date ruin the food.

Bucky said something, but it was in Russian, and all Tony knew in Russian was 'more vodka' and 'take me home'; it hadn't really been a problem until now. "That wasn't very clear."

"It was clear enough."

Bucky snorted, and Tony looked over in worry. "Not you, doll. Tricking him into saying yes does not count."

Natasha scowled at him. "I'll make it clear over dinner."

"I thought we didn't want him to misunderstand. He'll think that's sex."

Her scowl deepened.

"Is something wrong?" Tony asked, concerned.

"No," they said together.

That did not make him feel better. He sighed and went back to what he was doing. It wasn't exactly soothing, but it was something to do other than worrying about whatever the hell they were talking about.

Tony drifted off to sleep, and Natasha looked over to see Bucky glaring at her.

"What?" she hissed.

"You said he wouldn't misunderstand," Bucky accused. Quietly, of course, because he didn't want to wake Tony up.

"And he didn't!"

"You're not supposed to have sex on the first date, even I know that."

"Don't be so judgmental, lots of people do that. And we've known him for a while, so it's hardly a first meeting. We went on a date and then we came home and had sex, that's a perfectly reasonable first date when we've been friends for so long!"

Bucky's glare deepened. "Wait and see, tomorrow he'll wake up and try to sneak off."

"No he won't."

"He will. He thinks it was a one night affair, you don't stick around after those."

"We're in his bed!"

"And that won't stop him!"

They stopped having a whispered argument over his body as they switched to just glaring at each other over his body. If he woke up right now, he would get quite the view.

"Go to sleep, Yasha."

"We fucked this up," Bucky grumbled.

"If he tries to leave, lay on top of him."

"What? Why can't you do it?"

"You way a hundred pounds more. Don't be a baby," she said, then laid down so Bucky couldn't argue with her further.

"Hmph." He laid down, curling into Tony's warmth. It was easier to do with Natasha since she knew he wanted that and could accommodate it, but after curving in as much as he could without achieving his goal, he hoped Tony wouldn't mind if Bucky rearranged him a little. Pick up an arm, slide under it, wiggle a leg between his, and Bucky finally felt situated enough to relax.

Unsurprisingly, he was right, and he gave a pointed look to Natasha-- that she rolled her eyes at-- before dragging Tony back down onto the bed. "Where ya goin'," he mumbled.

"Uh," Tony blanked at first, clearly not having expected to be caught, "the 'shop? I've got a couple projects I need to work on-"

"Liar," Natasha muttered. Her voice was low, but still loud enough that Tony could definitely hear. "You were running away for no reason."

"Oh there's a reason, and I think it's pretty obvious what that is. So if you'll just," Tony trailed off, trying unsuccessfully to dislodge Bucky's arm around his waist.

"As the one that got us into this mess Natasha, you have t' fix it." Plus he was tired and words were hard to form. He could totally kill someone right now, but have a heart to heart? That was beyond what he could do this close to waking up.

"If 'fix it' is code for kill me, you really really don't Natasha. We're friends, aren't we? You wouldn't kill one of your friends." Tony's voice was half joking half panicked.

"What the idiot means is that last night was a date. As a precursor to other dates until you're comfortable with letting us call you our partner."

Tony blinked. "What."

"Like dating one person, only instead of one person, there's two of us."

Bucky snorted. "Eloquent."

"If you're not going to do better, shut it."

"Three person relationship instead of two?" he offered, then yawned.

"This isn't a joke, right?" Tony asked. "Cause if it is, it's mean and you should confess right now before I get it into my head that this is actually happening."

"It's happenin' now will you go back to sleep?" Bucky grumbled. He only wanted one more hour, that wasn't so much to ask in his opinion.

"What Bucky means is that no, it's not a joke. It's a serious offer, and you can think about it for as long as you want. If that includes some time alone right now, you can take it. If not, then pull the covers back up because it's getting cold."

Tony did nothing for a long moment, then pulled the blanket up. "You are two very confusing people." Another pause. "I feel like I'm going to regret this, but not as much as you fuckers will."

Natasha smothered her laugh, then spread her hand over Tony's chest. "Noted."

"You can't make me regret anything more than I already do," Bucky claimed, yawning again.

"I was making a joke, and you just break my heart," Tony said.

"I'll try not to."

#marvel #fanfic #winterironwidow #tony stark #bucky barnes #natasha romanoff #my writing

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losingmyjustice · 4 years

Text

@nurotoxin sent;

scraTCH THAT [ everything ( minus appeal ) ] + glados

Thoughts & Feelings

Send [ word ] + a character name for my muse to talk about that character.

"Unfortunate that I ended up running into her." beat. "Or rather, that she ended up approaching me. Because, clearly, the first thing you think of when seeing a stranger sitting alone trying to get some peace and quiet is how great of a test subject they'd be. Absolutely normal."

"Also, I'm quite annoyed by how persistent she is — clearly there are more cooperative people she can irritate with her tests, yet she still sees it necessary to bother me despite how I've opposed to it since the get-go."

"Frankly, I don't get it, how she can loathe me to bits yet still be the one initiating an interaction. Sounds rather self-sabotaging, if you ask me. I'd think both of us would profit from it if we'd avoid each other."

Send [ oops ] + a character name for my muse to blurt something about that character.

"If you think about it," he spoke, while not thinking much about it, let alone how offensive it might be. "to claim she's taller than me is ridiculous."

"Her, er, vessel had been assigned by the Stars upon her arrival, right? It's not ... bound with her, so to say. Meaning, should one put her into a tinier vessel similar to the ones you find in Craft-Punk, then she'd have a new, much smaller height than she initially did, while still being the same person. Therefore, her vessel being taller could be compared to someone wearing high heels, no? It's not her, physically, being taller." he’s just salty.

"— Should she argue about this, then just put her in a 2ft tall vessel and see if she still believes it's fair to judge height per the vessel she's in. I bet she'd hate that."

Send [ think ] + a character name to know my muse’s thoughts on that character.

You squint as she took her leave. Despite having her back turned, you're rather certain she's aware of the stare piercing her, though really it'd only be all the better if she is.

All she had said is for you to wait with no further explanation. Likely bringing something, you reckon. You did scoff that you'd leave immediately just to spite her, but both of you know that it won't come to such — it's difficult to find a quiet spot as is with all these celebrations, and you genuinely don't have the energy to bother today. So here you are, grumbling; What the hell is her problem?

If you'd only go by the 'tests' she offers, you'd think of her as a joke. You still do, but — aside from amusement, what's there for her to accomplish? Granted, she does gain some info here and there about Spirale, but apart from that? If that's it, she sure picked quite the horribly inconvenient way to approach the matter. Someone who'd seek actual results wouldn't do that. What's worse; that isn't it. If it'd be just a puzzle enthusiastic scientist wanna-be would be one thing, but only a glance on her attitude and you'd argue her to be worse than the imbecile Dimitri, for obvious reasons. So why? Is she studying people and their way of thinking solely to understand them? That'd barely make sense, considering how she gives no damn about humans to be this interested. Hell, you'd not be surprised if she'd replace her test subjects with these stupid turrets if she could, considering how she reacted when you tossed it the other day. So, what is it then? You can't fathom a potential goal she might be seeking that isn't ridiculously outlandish.

... Maybe she doesn't have a goal, you think. Perhaps she truly is driven by the concept of 'doing science' alone, like she had been programmed to do — and that's all she does, despite the fact that she isn't even where the task was given to her. Gathering information just for the sake of gathering information, with no slight interest on who it aids, or who it expenses. A pointless routine, pretty much. "Despicable," you find yourself muttering, seeing her return again from a distance. You can't imagine anyone living content and happy without having an aim they're striving for in life.

You'd know.

Send [ heart ] + a character name to know my muse’s true feelings for that character.

As much as I'd love to say he's holding a front or whatever, unfortunately, beneath the disrespect is just the same thing but bass-boosted. True, he did act on prejudices at first, but his assumptions had been more than confirmed to him by now, so really he'd call it horseshit if you were to speak to him about how he's got to be open-minded and etc.

However!! While he does have more respects for a snail than for GLaDOS, it might come to a surprise to you when I say he finds her much more tolerable than Dimitri! So hey, at least she got that going for her! Even if he'd never admit that. There are several reasons that go into this — for instance, the fact that she isn't love-struck & her actions (cough, life) not entirely centered around such do make talking to her less annoying. You could claim that she's love-stuck by science, I guess, but she doesnt whine about it. GLaDOS is also far less gullible, much more observant; while it was fortunate for Clive that Dimitri wasn't alike to her in that aspect, conversing with a fool that has only one thing in mind is hardly interesting, and at some point forward even the thrill of deceiving them was gone, more alike to a ludicrously boring routine. It hurts me to insult Allen like this but, yeah — speaking to someone who's less naive is, ultimately, less tedious.

Also uh, this is sad to say but, yknow, Clive keeping up an act around Dimitri at all times was draining — smiling while wanting to strangle someone is!! not a fun thing. Neither is acting like you're a fan of a work that had your parents killed. But, with GLaDOS, he doesn't have to pretend shit. To put it bluntly, it's a relief he can be the asshole he wants to be without repressing it. And, relief makes stuff more tolerable! For him.

There's definitely the comfort of 'im having a bad day and im about to make that everyones problem' that he was unable to do all these years but, hey, you didn't hear that from me.

Regarding testing, they're not always horribly annoying to him unlike he'd claim — especially the ones you could (almost) compare to puzzles; they do catch his interest, and there's always the satisfaction you get when you got it right. However, he'll always be awfully reluctant to do the tests despite how intriguing they might be, and should he end up doing it anyway — never express that delight. Maybe a smirk might slip, but should she point that out he'd make sure in one way or another for her to take that back, or reason said smirk to be something insulting against her — yknow, the usual. Clive wants to be as inconvenient as possible as a 'test subject', and, is doing a good job at that. While yeah, the tests can low-key be temporarily nice, you won't find him miss these should she finally leave him alone. There are a lot of things he's missing, but GLaDOS and her Tests will never be on the list, really.

Send [ body ] + a character name to know my muse’s body language around that character.

So, uh. we both know he's emotionally unstable, right. Talking about his Body Language when he's acting like that is,, difficult, since it depends highly on his mood swings and I'm not about to count them all,, we'll be here forever if I do that. All I can say is that he's surely tense & sensitive whilst it.

However!! I'll ramble a bit about his usual demeanour w/ GLaDOS when things are "fine", whatever that means when talking about Clive

If he's just 'kinda there', as in low-spirited yet still well enough to talk shit (which is the 'usual' in their interactions IG) you can absolutely expect him to intentionally sit 'wrong' yet comfortably — just, y'know, to express disdain even further. Usually, it'd mean he's rather comfortable around you, but in this case, it's frankly just a lack of care of what GLaDOS thinks of him. She already knows he's got issues smh why bother giving a good impression,, Guard isn't really up either, slacking far too much to be so — just this state of "meh." where he very well can complain about the situation at hand without leaving despite it. Uhh, what else — ah and he got his hat off, likely just cast aside somewhere. shrugs

If Clive is ACTUALLY spacing out, be it to the extent where he trails off and loses his line of thoughts like all 30 seconds, or even as far to where he doesn't respond at all — if he's standing, sitting, henceforth, one thing for sure his posture would be slumped, although seeing how it's usually a thing that happens gradually, he'd stop sitting so improper (aside from the slumped posture, of course) so there's that, at least. Guard is obviously thrown out of the roof in such things. Whilst sitting there's also this habit where he'd tip with his fingers on the palm of the other hand (imagine like playing on a piano) or instead have a fist resting in it (as if you're counting for rock paper scissors) while he's spacing out— I can imagine GLaDOS would have already picked up on that to tell when he's getting lost in thought again.

Obviously, he got better days than that, where he'd care to keep up the manners you'd expect from him — but rest assured if he has the energy to act normal, he'll also have the energy to leave should GLaDOS show up. So, the next best thing is where he's irked, which. Well, that's not all too fun either, but. He'd sit upright, arms crossed, perchance even legs crossed, rather tense, you get the idea—much less cooperative too, but what else is new.

#it’s friday and the house is burning [memes]#nothing left to say [ask reply]#nurotoxin #// hands u an essay

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