#and how i saw people offended he said that when he was ~really bisexual and not gay~ and it's like...

[uncanny-tranny]

Hi 💛 I wanted to ask you something, it's been bothering me lately: I've always known that I'm attracted to people regardless of gender. At 15 I called it bisexual. At 17 I started using the label pansexual. Came out as a trans man at 23. I'm now 26 and I'm not sure if bi or pan work for me anymore. I know that I'm still attracted to people regardless of gender, but my experiences as a man in society have made the label gay resonate a lot more with me. Is that okay? What does this mean? Confused

It means whatever you want it to mean. People all across the queer community have used "gay" as shorthand for decades now (maybe including queer people you love). If you just don't vibe with bi/pan on their own, then you don't have to have them on their own. There's nothing wrong with being bi or pan, but there's also nothing wrong with feeling like that doesn't quite encapsulate your relationship with your queerness.

Basically:

#ask #anon #queer #lgbt #lgbtq #described images #image description in alt #reminds me of freddie mercury saying he's gay as a daffodil when an interviewer asked if he was gay #and how i saw people offended he said that when he was ~really bisexual and not gay~ and it's like... #...does it truly harm people saying they're gay as a daffodil because that's just iconic #queer people have been borrowing and using terms from each other for as long as we've been a community #and while there are certain words that are very specific to a specific type of queer person/group that doesn't mean every word is like that #or that every queer word has a neat and tidy little wall around it that includes everybody but you specifically #if you take your feelings and run with 'i just label my experiences as gay/queer' then that's fine #like the label serves you and if it stops serving you then you don't need to keep it #i call myself gay and bisexual because i have a very complex experience due to being trans + a bit of my past #and that's as much as i think people '~need~' to know (though i don't owe even that to others) #and i get the whole 'do what you want forever 🤗' can feel unhelpful... #...the point isn't to wave off how you feel or discount it. the point is to remind you that... #...ultimately your desires and comfort MATTER and essentially 'if it's shit hit the bricks' #you aren't obligated to live for everybody ELSE'S contentment. is that even living when you are only alive at the behest of everybody else? #to deny the self and to deny yourself the chance to have actual complex experiences can be the bane of life itself if that makes sense

[angel-tries-to-write]

Bisexual disasters

Fandom: Assassin’s Creed Rating: General Pairing: Jacob Frye x Reader (not quite, can be platonic) Word count: 1501 Genre: fluff

In Victorian England, people who love differently, aren't really welcomed. Thankfully, the Rooks have different opinions.

Underground London would always follow its own rules. What was forbidden among the upper class, was common in places like this. It also meant it was fun, because nobles rarely knew how to have fun. The clock in this bar was showing almost eleven in the night, but you knew the real fun hadn't started yet. That night you wanted to take it slow, so you were sipping your ale when the others switched to something stronger already. You were fine with what you had, after all you wanted to get relaxed, not wrecked.

Apparently Jacob had similar plans, though he already had whisky, he was sipping it much slower than usual. But what didn't change was a bunch of omnipresent Rooks surrounding him, though the closest spots were taken by enamored young women who looked at the Assassin with adoration, they were drinking in his presence rather than drink alcohol like everyone else. You could also notice a group of men by the window, they were whispering and watching the scene with amusement. You assumed they were making fun of the girls and their loud gasps every time Jacob was flirting with one of them. And the more drunk he was getting, the more flirty he would become.

Suddenly one of the men from the distant group stood up, emptied his mug and approached Jacob. You could tell he was nervous.

“Boss, may I have a request?” he asked and Frye looked at him for a moment, then smirked.

“Ask whatever you want, lad” he answered and the poor guy got even more nervous. You observed it with curiosity.

“M-may I ask it privately? I mean, I...” he sighed. “I've lost a bet and I need to do something, but I don't want to lose my place among the Rooks” he explained with cheeks redder every moment. Jacob stood up and came close to the lad, then pulled him out of the prying ears. They talked for a brief moment, then Jacob approached the group by the window and he was rather upset. You had left your spot and moved closer to them, so you would be able to hear what they were talking about. The gang leader leaned on the table and looked at the young men.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing, boss! We just wanted him to do something and confront his fears. We had no ill will, we swear, Rook's honor!” said one of them and the others nodded vigorously. Jacob looked at the lad, seeking for confirmation in his face. As soon as he had found it, the Assassin stepped back from the table, pulled the man close and kissed him shamelessly.

You couldn't believe your eyes. That huge flirt and womanizer was kissing a man. Unbelievable. But the more shocking was that no one around them actually cared. The guy's friends were shocked, but not offended, they were more surprised than disgusted. You couldn't take it anymore, you needed to leave, now. The sound of your chair moving rapidly drew more attention than Jacob's action, but you couldn't care less. You stormed outside, not bothering if someone saw you or not, you needed some air, you needed to calm down. Your head was spinning, your mind was a mess, and you didn't know what to think anymore.

Suddenly you heard footsteps behind your back, but you didn't turn around to see who it was. It's not like you had to, Jacob revealed himself pretty soon, when he called after you.

“(Y/n), what's wrong?” he asked. You didn't answer, only started to walk faster, then run. “(Y/n), wait!” he ran after you and soon he grabbed your hand, stopping you. “What happened? Why are you running away?” he asked, trying to understand what was going on.

“Why did you do that?” you asked instead.

“(Y/n), I...”

“Why would you do that? And so casually, like it was nothing, when we both know it's a big thing! You were not supposed to do that, then why did you do it?” you kept asking, not noticing the raise of your voice.

“What's gotten into you?”

“Just tell me. Please.” You looked at him with desperation in your eyes. You needed to know the answers.

“I just felt like it” he shrugged. “The boy is cute and he really should stop overthinking stuff.”

“Are you... do you... like... uh...” you tried to ask but the words kept stucking in your throat.

“Do I like men? Honestly, I don't know. It's all so wrong and messed up. But I think I do. And I like women too. It's confusing” he confessed. “But why did it upset you?”

“I'm sorry. It's not about you, it's about me” you admitted.

“What do you mean?”

“I... I understand this confusion. I've been feeling it my whole life. I like men, but there was always something drawing me to women either” you confessed and you could see Jacob's face changing from concern and confusion to understanding and relief. “When I saw you kissing that lad, I just couldn't take it anymore. All those feelings I've been trying to hide and get rid of through all my life just overwhelmed me.”

“Come here” Jacob opened his arms, offering you a hug. You hesitantly accepted his offer, but soon you had found peace in his embrace. “You have no idea how much it means to me. I have never met someone who would feel like I do.”

“Neither have I.”

“Can we go back to the pub?”

“Yes. I think I owe everyone an explanation.”

“Good point.”

You came back to the place you had left and the first thing you did was to find the lad Jacob had kissed. When you saw him miserably drinking his ale, you nearly ran there.

“Hey, I just wanted to say sorry for storming out like that. I can imagine you might have thought that it was your fault, but I swear it wasn't. You just helped me understand something about myself” you said smiling sheepishly and the guy smiled with relief.

“It's alright, miss (y/n). The Rooks have a lot of space for people who love differently and that's why I love this gang. So many people who don't judge and just let us be ourselves... It's nice”

“It is. But until tonight I was convinced I would always have to hide who I am”

“You have nothing to worry about” the lad's friend spoke. “In this gang either are the ones who love differently or we fully support those who do. Even the boss.”

“What do you mean?” you asked

“Jacob is not very discreet. It wasn't hard to figure out that he's into men as well as women. Of course, no one speaks loudly about it, but no one judges as well. You either accept it or leave the Rooks. That's a rule.”

“I'm surprised it's commonly known.”

“It is. Most of us are open about our preferences.”

“Well, I wish now I knew this earlier. I love like this either and I thought it's not something I should ever talk about.”

“We all did” some other guy spoke. “But once you're one of us, you can stop worrying about it.”

“Thanks.” You smiled with relief. After years of living in fear and shame, it felt nice to be in a supportive environment. You felt like you were freed from some shackles, and like you could finally be truly yourself.

A couple of days later, you were sitting in a pub with Jacob once again. But this time, both of you were having a great time, chatting about stuff. You were telling him a really funny story about one of your fights with Blighters, when suddenly you trailed off and forgot the rest of your words. Your attention was caught by a gorgeous woman, who's just entered the pub and you couldn't help but stare at her. Until you realized Jacob was laughing at you.

“I see your new identity suits you well” he joked.

“Oh, shut it. Did you forget how you almost fell off the roof last week, when you noticed a cute girl on the street?” you reminded him.

“And you were laughing so hard that you almost fell off the roof yourself.”

“She wasn't even that pretty.”

“Are you jealous?”

“Me? Jealous? I think you've had too much alcohol.” You shook your head.

“Oh my... wow...” he said and you thought he was teasing you further, but you noticed him looking above you. When you turned around, you saw a guy undressing, as if he was preparing to fight.

“Woah, he's hot” you commented and Jacob nodded.

“Not as hot as the girl you spotted, but indeed, he's quite attractive” he admitted.

“Is this how our relationship is going to look like? Drooling over attractive people and comparing our findings?” you half joked and Jacob shrugged.

“Are you complaining about that?”

“Not at all. Actually, I quite like that. Cheers.”

#my fic #assassin's creed #jacob frye x reader #jacob frye

[jsbluelove]

So, what did I know about Arthur and Merlin?

Not much. Just that these two names are always said along, knew something about Arthurian legends, and that's just about it. And I knew that these two are often shipped and when some people say, 'they were good friends ' others would go like, 'sure'.

I didn't even know there was a series called Merlin, until I saw someone say in the comments of a YouTube video on Red, White and Royal Blue trailer that Henry and Alex giving of Arthur and Merlin vibes.

So, I asked again, 'How come they know so much from one or two movies or few stories that might have been about Arthur and Merlin?', and then I also wondered maybe there is/was a show - which led me to discover Merlin(2008).

And I thought, 'oh what a great way to spend my Saturday!' Might be an old show but maybe I will enjoy'

And by Monday night, I'm watching 5x13, except for the last part, because I won't...I won't cry..I don't want to cry. I felt so alone because I was so late to the series, overwhelmed, a little offended because I was genuinely thinking that the magic will do the deed, and bring back Arthur.

By Tuesday, I have already read at least two fanfics, watched 10+ edits, but I still won't watch any video of that last scene. I don't want to accept.

But there's a silver lining: I'm not really alone, I see people creating fanfic even in 2023. Look, I just wanted to have a fun Saturday, but by today, I feel like I should go jobless and read through all the content around Arthur and Merlin.

My thoughts on Arthur and Merlin being gay

This is something I heard people saying even before I knew the show existed. I thought they came from the tales of the legend itself.

I also watched a video where the cast and the showrunners talked about the characters' sexuality. But what I think is, Arthur and Merlin don't necessarily have to be gay, and yet can definitely be romantic.

The kind of person Merlin is, and the kind of person Arthur was, they bonded so well for a reason. They tease each other, they enjoy each other's jokes - Arthur did, they worry about each other, they have each other's back, they have adventures together, they need each other, and most of all, beyond need, they want to be around and with each other.

And the kind of person they are, why would I not think that what they feel about each other is beyond their sexual preferences? It's so much more than that. Arthur doesn't have to be gay to want to spend all his life with Merlin, live with only him forever and wanting no one else(considering he didn't have any royal responsibilities), and vice versa. I believe if Arthur would love Merlin even if Arthur was straight, gay, bisexual, or anything else. Because his love for Merlin goes beyond anything else.

The show focuses more on Merlin's dedication, love and loyalty for Arthur

Merlin's love for Arthur is what we see most - because he has been told in the beginning that he is destined to serve and help him. So what did he do? He devoted his whole time and attention to Arthur - the bond with Arthur only followed after that.

But I want to focus on Arthur here.

I see Arthur's side more - because despite so many to love and bond as friends, he found his bond with Merlin. So much so that even when outing with a princess he should impress - he stuck to trying to annoy Merlin. Outing with his wife - he is nonchalantly talking about Merlin. He definitely pictures being away and alone, but alone doesn't mean not Merlin.

Merlin is adored by many - he is just that lovable. He has a great mother, friends find it easy to like him, and he finds it easy to talk and connect with most people. That's his character - cheerful and cheeky.

But Arthur had this particular nature that only comes out while he was with Merlin. I'd like to call it instant cheerfulness. Merlin was special to him.

Arthur, I believe, always knew how much Merlin meant to him, how much Merlin cared about him, and he also knew that it is mutual.

Arthur was really hurt to know that there's a great part of Merlin, his magic, which was kept from him. It truly hurt me too.

I don't know if I'll ever watch that last scene or if I'll ever cry. Maybe someday I'll get over it and finally watch it.. or maybe I'll just bite the bullet and watch it and cry..

#merlin 2008 #arthur and merlin #merthur #arthur pendragon #merlin #red white and royal blue #merlin and arthur

[narrativelysignificantturtleduck]

the challenges of trans headcanons

a while ago i saw a post that said something to the effect of "if you're cis don't headcanon characters as trans if they're not that gender in canon". the argument was that it implies trans people are not the gender they say they are - like, if you headcanon a male character as a trans woman, that means you think of trans women as men who want to be women. headcanoning a male character as a trans man is fine though.

i kinda resent any post telling people what they're allowed to headcanon, but i do get where that post was coming from. not just because i know cis people can be transphobic, but because i have perservered in doing that very thing and found out how complicated it is.

like, first off, there's the pronoun dilemma. everyone in canon and pretty much everyone discussing the show is using the "wrong" pronouns, but also, it's a headcanon, so it's not like they're ACTUALLY wrong. and even though you want to use the "right" pronouns you don't want to confuse people if you're talking about the character outside of the specific headcanon. and what if you write fic about the character at a point before they come out, before they even realize themselves? everyone around them is using those pronouns, and they'll even be thinking of themself that way. is that misgendering? obviously, the character won't care (bc they're not real) but people might look at you funny if you say a character's trans and then use the "wrong" pronouns. you've dug your own grave here.

(i've taken a few different approaches. i tried avoiding pronouns entirely, but it was a challenge. no pronouns and trying not to repeat an already-repetitive name too much? blorbo posting hard mode. recently, i've flipped to using he/him when talking about the character in canon and she/her when discussing the trans headcanon or more fanon things. i think it makes sense to use canon pronouns when analyzing canon but i do worry it looks like misgendering. not sure there's any good answers here.)

secondly, it forces you to reckon with being trans in a very real way. you have to adjust to new pronouns and gender presentation the way the family members of a trans person would, and like a trans person you have to make decisions about those changes. you are forced to grapple with what the coming out process would be like, what steps someone would take to transition. sure, you can discuss those things when headcanoning a male character as transmasc, but you know where he ends up. he's the guy you know in canon. headcanoning someone as a different gender than they are in canon - that's uncharted territory, same as it would be irl.

heck, the very fact that this is difficult, that i don't know what pronouns to use in what situation, feels pretty trans to me.

(not that my struggle headcanoning a minor character from a kids show as trans is anywhere near comparable to people's actual lived experiences. but you get what i mean.)

you know how when you write a character for a while they start to take on a life of their own in your head, and any characterization choices start to feel like things they tell you about themselves instead of just what you decided about them? well i've known about the trans jeong jeong headcanon for a while but that post kinda made me...shove her back into the closet. metaphorically. i was pushing nonbinary jeong jeong for a while, because she was very clearly not cis to me but i feared being Bad and Problematic if i said she was transfem. i could even get away with some transfem stuff under the guise of genderfluidity. some days she's a woman. but also sometimes a man don't worry :)

but now she's out. and i don't know who i was so afraid of offending, and why i've had this weirdly personal journey about it. it's a journey similar to my own coming out as bisexual (going back in the closet for fear of pushback) and i had it over a fictional character's gender, about "coming out" with a headcanon.

i don't really know what conclusion to draw from all of this. i don't know what the right answer to the pronouns question is.

things i know for certain -

jeong jeong is a trans woman. it's a headcanon, but the way i feel about it is as if it's a fact i happen to know. you know how it is with blorbos

i am a cis woman, and that means i need to be careful how i deal with trans characters and headcanons. fictional characters might not care, but real life trans people can see the ways i talk about fictional trans people, so it matters what i do.

it's ridiculous that i denied this headcanon for so long

maybe the conclusion is just that hard-and-fast rules about who's allowed to do things are bad. but it's still worth thinking about the implications of a headcanon and its impact on others.

#nina's personal log #i've been thinking about this for a while #i started writing this post all the way back in january while i was queuing up stuff for jeong jeong's atla daily holiday #idk why but i feel like posting it now #trans jj tag

[quillquiver]

On SPN, Burying Your Gays, and Being Heard

I am shaking, I feel sick, I feel like I’m insane. And did I run a little wild with the theories? You bet. But you know what didn’t help? The botched clusterfuck that was this entire goddamn finale debacle. How was I supposed to believe anything they said in panels when M&G dialogue would leak saying the exact opposite? How was I supposed to grieve and move on when there was nothing from the cast and crew? Nobody said anything! And any info leaked just destabilized what we already knew or directly contradicted what we’d been told. In light of that, how was I supposed to trust anything anyone said? One rogue translator reciprocated the love confession and I was practically sold, because there were so many questions surrounding the English text that this was something good, something that logically fit, and something I wanted to hold onto. 

Because they hurt me. This is about so much more than one episode or a ship; for years queer fans have seen ourselves in these characters and been told that we were crazy. That we were reading too much into it. I’m not sure how people get upset and offended when a storyline that doesn’t exist... doesn’t exist! said Guy Bee (2013). And then, after all of that, they turned around and said magnanimously, you have your version, I have mine... and that’s okay. But it’s not okay. It’s not okay, because that doesn’t erase what came before - that doesn’t erase the baiting and the gaslighting, and that invalidates everything we felt in the time leading up to that episode. It gave them an open window for all the subtext that came after. It allowed them to brush us off.

And then we got Cas’s love confession. I watched that scene about 500 times. Added to the rest of the season - to the fandom avatar being presented as successful and intelligent, to arc being the death of the author - I felt seen. Really seen, by a show that made it its mission to erase me. I had been okay with Cas dying at first because I had been sure the romance arc would carry through. I had been convinced that after everything, there was no way they would give that to us and then take it away.

But they did, because this is Supernatural. To anyone saying this is not bury your gays, I implore you to read up on the Hays Code. This link is to an amazing queer history podcast and the episode that covers it. In short, the Hays Code was a legal document that came about in 20th Century Hollywood during the puritanical war on the American entertainment industry,  and it stipulated what was not allowed on screen. Not all of it was queer - there’s a whole section about kissing - but what the Code is most remembered for is that queerness was not allowed on screen. But queer people are resilient, and so they started testing the waters... and it turned out that you could in fact code queerness into a narrative, as long as it was subtextual, or as long as the queer character died/was punished, or both. The point is that the character is not allowed to live their truth openly. They are buried, either in the ground or punished in the narrative. The former is normally what we refer to these days, because the latter just doesn’t really happen anymore.

Until Supernatural. 

Castiel is immediately punished for speaking his truth - and please don’t tell me he leveraged that punishment and so he had agency. Literally the only thing that could make him happy was confessing his feelings, and so the Empty deal was directly related to this idea of queerness-as-punishment. That being said, Bobo wrote a beautiful scene. Cas’s confession was a love letter to queerness and coming out... but everything that came after buried him. Castiel may have ended the series alive but he was effectively written out of the last two episodes, and that means that he actually never really got to live his truth. He was silenced by the narrative - that is punishment. 

Dean is a whole other can of worms. Does one rogue translator confirm canon bi!Dean? Or do we have to read our own version of the text? The fact that we even have to ask these questions firmly places us in the realm of queerbaiting. Were the writers trying to get bi!Dean approved but were unable to? I have no idea, but queerbaiting requires proof that the writers encouraged a reading they had no intent of following through on, and we certainly don’t lack in evidence of that. Not from this writers room, but from those of previous eras. Did these writers try? They might have, but the funny thing about queerbaiting discourse is that there has never been a show to bait this long, and I’m making the call that even if you tried at the end, you baited me with half the ship and all the years that came before. 

Of course, the narrative leaves open the possibility of bi!Dean so if you do read the show that way, that means Dean also falls into the bury your gays category; if you read the show this way - which many of us do - the mere suggestion that Dean Winchester was bisexual was enough to punish him. And he was punished. We’ve all written extensively on this, but he was given a random death, on a case his father never finished. All that growth, all that time spent having him accept himself, love himself, that was all taken away. He died the way he always thought he would: as a tool, in service of his father, protecting his brother. He had always believed he’d been a body to throw on the sword and in the end that’s all he was. And when he gets to Heaven? He’s also silenced. He barely speaks in the episode except to monologue during his death, and that is 100% Sam-centric. He is scared. 

It was horrific to watch. I sobbed so hard my roommate was seriously concerned. 

I had been fully prepared for Supernatural to end disappointingly. I had figured everything would end with a huge heaven reunion because white, straight, cis-male S&F writers love the idea of death as a reward, but instead of being disappointed I felt like I had witnessed a slaughter. Every single one of the queer themes intrinsic to the show: found family, resilience, speaking your truth... were gone. And I know we’ve talked about this too, but it bears repeating, because in doing this, in writing the queerness out of its narrative, Supernatural effectively looked every one of us queer folx in the eye and said: you are not important. You don’t matter. All of that stuff that came before is all good and well, but what really matters at the end of all things is blood family. It’s two brothers in a car. Life sucks but at least we get to die and go to paradise - real paradise, that your angel buddy died for and then made for you and who we never hear from again.

I felt insane. I felt cheated. I felt humiliated. I felt devastated. I still feel all those things, but listen to me. You have been heard. Not by Misha Collins, who is a great guy, but doesn’t get it. Not by Jensen Ackles, who is a similarly great guy, but also just doesn’t understand. And not by anyone else who worked on this show. 

You know who heard you? Me. The people who follow me. The people who follow you. We saw each other, and heard each other, and we gave each other a leg up. We made memes. We wrote fic. We drew fanart. We made gifs. All for ourselves and all for each other. We broke Tumblr multiple times. We donated over $60,000 USD to multiple different causes. We got multiple hashtags trending at multiple different points, and today kept it up because we demanded answers and then we got them. There were at least 5 articles written about the show today. We made that happen. We made people listen. 

Supernatural didn’t deserve me, and it didn’t deserve you. It didn’t deserve Dean. It didn’t deserve Cas. It didn’t deserve Misha and Jensen. But this show ended with a bleak, awful message and we turned around and showed them that love is loud. So what about all of this is real?

We are.

#alex talks #spngate #archived #this was very therapeutic #and i honestly don't know if i will ever be able to love something like this again #because i have been burned oh man #but this fandom is amazing #and i am proud to be a part of it #and i am not going anywhere #journaling #15x18 #15x19 #15x20 #castiel #dean winchester #destiel

[lostinthewiind]

I don’t know if you write for them as well, but could I request a poly fic for Reki, Langa and the reader and maybe them explaining them explaining their relationship to Langas and/or Rekis mom after being caught cuddling together? Thank you in advance and sorry, if you don’t write for them.

Polyamorous Relationship w/ Reki & Langa: Three's a Crowd

A/N: my first request for Reki and Langa! I'm so excited because I love those boys with my whole heart; they deserve the world! So excited to write this!

Rating: PG13

Warnings: use of the term "slut", complex teenage relationships/sexuality discussed

Flopping over onto your back on the bed, you stretched your arms and legs out and let out a loud yawn. You, Reki, and Langa had been working on homework ever since the three of you had arrived at Langa's house after school and you were starting to get mentally exhausted. 

"I'm done!" you exclaimed, shutting your eyes and exhaling.

Peeking at you from where he was lying on the floor, Reki cocked a brow at you. "You finished all of it?"

"No." You shook your head. "I'm just done. My brain hurts. If I do any more I think I might die."

"Good enough for me!" Reki closed his textbook as well and stopped doing his homework too.

Sighing from his spot at his desk, Langa turned in his desk chair to face the two of you. "We have to have this done for tomorrow. You do know that, right?"

"Yes, obviously." You rolled your eyes. "I'm going to do the rest later. I just need a break."

"Exactly. Break time!" Reki stood up from the floor and promptly fell down on top of you on Langa's bed, crushing you and pushing the air out of your lungs in the process. "I'll finish later too."

Langa scoffed. "Y/N I believe . . . but Reki, we all know you'll forget about it tonight and end up scrambling to finish as the teacher goes around collecting it tomorrow morning."

"He does have a point," you wheezed out, trying your hardest to push Reki off of your stomach.

Reki frowned and stuck his bottom lip out dramatically. "You guys are so mean to me." He adjusted himself on top of you so his face was hovering right above yours. "I expected this from Langa, but you, Y/N? I thought you loved me."

You forced out a laugh as you cupped his face with your hands. "I do love you, but that doesn't mean you don't have faults, Reki. I love you despite your faults, and one of your faults is procrastination."

He furrowed his brows, his face scrunching up in thought. "I can't tell if that was a compliment or not."

"The gist was that you're loved," Langa muttered as he continued working away at the homework one question at a time, trying his best to ignore the two of you.

Reki's eyes lit up at that. "Well, good!" He smiled as he cupped your face with his hands in return and pressed a soft kiss to your lips.

Immediately, your cheeks turned red and you averted his gaze. Things between the three of you were still relatively new and you were still working out how a relationship with three people worked, exactly. The fact that neither one of you had ever really had a serious relationship before only made things more complicated.

Noticing your reaction, Reki brushed the pads of his thumbs over your cheeks. "Sorry," he apologized. "I should have asked before I kissed you."

"No, it's okay," you assured him, a soft smile on your face as you did so. "I'm just not used to it yet, especially since our relationship isn't exactly . . . normal."

"I know." Reki hugged you tight and buried his face in your neck, pressing a soft kiss to the skin there. "Did you tell your parents yet?"

You shook your head as your heart began to pound nervously. "No. Did you?"

"Not yet," he mumbled into your neck. "Every time I try to, one of my siblings is around and I abort mission."

Craning your neck, you looked over at Langa. "Did you tell your mom yet, Langa?"

Only half-listening to the conversation, Langa perked at his name but tilted his head quizzically at the inquiry. "Did I tell my mom what?"

"About us," Reki clarified. "The three of us being together."

"Oh." He seemed to grow nervous about the topic as well. "Not yet. Soon."

Finally rolling off of you, Reki laid on his back and pulled you into his side, his arm wrapped around you and your head resting on his chest. "If only we were adults and didn't have to worry about the approval of our parents."

"Yeah," Langa agreed, thoroughly distracted from his homework now, his mind running a mile a minute while he thought about the current predicament. The three of you had to be careful when you went over to each others' houses, trying your best to convince everyone that you were just close friends and nothing more.

Cuddling and kissing were usually reserved for late nights when the sun went down, the lights were turned off, and the three of you hid behind the excuse of watching a movie together. Funnily enough, watching a movie together and cuddling had been how the three of you had discovered your feelings for one another.

"Speaking of that, you two should be careful." Langa gestured to the way you and Reki were holding each other on his bed. "What if my mom walks in?"

"Yeah, you're right," Reki sighed. "I just feel like we never get to be together how we want . . . we're worried about what our parents will think at home and worried about what everyone else will think at school. Nevermind the fact that Langa and I are gay, or, bisexual I guess . . . but polyamory? We'd never hear the end of it."

You exhaled slowly, cuddling closer to Reki. "They'd probably call me a slut for having two boyfriends."

Standing from his chair, Langa walked over to the bed and laid down with you and Reki, forgetting about all of his usual paranoid worries for the time being. "You're not a slut," he told you, wrapping his arms around you as well. "And who cares what anyone else thinks anyway, right? As long as we're happy and we're not hurting anyone else, that's all that matters."

Relishing in the feeling of having your two favourite people on either side of you, you started feeling the stress fade away and your body relax from its usual tense state. "I wish we could stay like this forever."

Before either Reki or Langa had the chance to respond, the bedroom door suddenly swung open and Langa's mom poked her head into the room. "Langa, are you friends staying for dinner or-" She stopped talking as soon as she saw the three of you tangled up in one another on the bed.

Immediately, the three of you jumped away from each other, the stress that had just left filling your body once more. Completely caught off guard since Langa's mom usually knocked first before opening the door, neither one of you knew how to explain away what she had just seen.

"M-mom!" Langa was standing on the opposite side of the room now while you and Reki stood on either side of the bed. "Why didn't you knock?"

Langa's mom eyed the three of you, quickly noticing the flushed faces and obvious nerves radiating off of you. Even if she hadn't thought anything of what she had seen at first, she definitely suspected something now with how the three of you were acting.

"I apologize," she said, pushing the door open all the way and standing in the doorway. "Langa, dear, do you have something you want to tell me?"

Fiddling nervously with his fingers, Langa turned to look at you and Reki, trying to gauge your reactions and decide whether he should tell the truth or try to pull off some sort of lie; but both you and Reki were completely useless as you stared down at the floor and shifted anxiously.

"Langa?" His mom prompted once more.

Finally meeting his mother's gaze, Langa drew in a deep breath. "Can you promise not to be mad?"

Langa's mother quirked a brow quizzically. "You're starting to worry me, honey. Just tell me what's got you so flustered."

"Well . . . u-um," Langa stumbled over his words, completely unsure how he was supposed to just come out and say it. "Well, Mom . . . Reki, Y/N, and I aren't . . . aren't just friends."

Langa's mother folded her arms over her chest and took a minute to process what she had just heard. "I'm sorry, I don't think I understand what you're trying to tell me."

Deciding to rescue Langa from having to ride solo on this, you stepped over to him and took his hand in yours. "Mrs. Hasegawa, Langa and I are dating," you told her.

"Oh, I see." Langa's mom's face flashed with understanding, but then she looked over at Reki, no doubt wondering how he fit into all of this.

"And I'm dating Y/N." Reki stood on the other side of you.

Langa nodded. "And I'm also dating Reki."

The understanding that had once been visible on Langa's mom's face had completely vanished after the three of you had elaborated. "S-so . . ." She paused as she tried to fit all the pieces together in her head. "So the three of you are all dating each other? Is that right?"

"Y-yes," Langa confirmed. "We know people will think it's weird but it's just what makes us happy and I just . . . just please don't be mad."

"Mad?" Langa's mother seemed offended at the insinuation that she could ever be mad at her son for, for lack of a better term, coming out to her more or less. "Oh, dear, I could never be mad at you for who you love."

Before either of you had the chance to process how well that conversation had just gone, Langa's mother was striding over to the three of you and pulling you all into a hug. "All that matters is that you're happy and healthy," she told Langa before looking to you and Reki. "And the same goes for the two of you. I don't know what your parents have said about this, but just remember that being happy and healthy is all that matters."

"Y-you're really okay with this?" Happy tears began to well in Langa's eyes. It was clear that he was overjoyed and shocked that his mother had been so accepting so easily.

Placing her hands on her son's face, Langa's mother smiled at him. "Of course, I am. Is it a little confusing for me? Sure. Do I know much about being in a polyamorous relationship? No. But if the three of you have discovered that this is what makes you happy, as I'm sure you have since you're all old enough to make your own decisions and know what's best for you, then I'm happy as well."

"Thank you!" Langa hugged his mom tightly, silent sobs escaping him as all the worry he had been carrying around for weeks dissipated and he was flooded with relief.

"I'll always love you, no matter what," Langa's mom told him as she glanced at you and Reki, who were starting to tear up as well. "Do your parents know as well?"

You and Reki shook your heads. "No, not yet," you said in unison.

"Well, I hope they are understanding," she told you. "And just know that the three of you are always welcome here."

"Thank you, Mrs. Hasegawa." Reki wrapped his arms around you and held you tight as you cried as well. "Really, thank you so much. We were all scared that everyone would think we were weird or gross."

"People are often scared of things that they think are different," Langa's mom explained to the three of you. "But that doesn't mean there is anything wrong with being different. I won't lie and say that everyone will be understanding, but the world is changing . . . don't assume the worst from people just yet; they might surprise you."

With that, Langa let go of his mother and engulfed you and Reki in a hug. Finally, the three of you had safe space where you could be together and not worry about judgmental people looking in on your relationship. 

Overjoyed and unable to control his excitement, Reki planted kisses on both you and Langa—marking the first time either of you had dared show affection in front of someone outside of the relationship.

Hopefully, the first of many. 

#sk8 the infinity #SK8 #lostinthewiind #fluff #polyamorous relationship with reki and langa #kyan reki #hasegawa langa #langa #reki #reader insert #fic request #x reader #polyamory #polyamorous relationships

[thechangeling]

But you like her better: Part 2

Sorry it's been a minute! I hope you like it.

Cw: Some brief ableism, mentions of internalized biphobia, and self injurious stimming.

2013

It was raining when 16 year old María Machado Sotomayor first met Kit Herondale.

Marí had always loved the sound of the rain. It was peaceful and rhythmic, creating a nice tingly feeling in her skull running straight down her spine. It also good for the plants. Which meant that Marí arrived (on time for once) at her favorite class in a pretty good mood.

Marine biology was their one of their three special interests, the other two being lacrosse and Base guitar. So Bio was usually pretty fun for them. However this time was different.

Her mood was instantly dampened when she walked into class and saw someone new sitting in her usually seat. A blond, short and white kid who looked far too pretty for his own good. A new kid most likely.

A new kid who didn't realize that Marí always sat by the window every single day. It was their spot. Still Marí was determined not to overreact. They marched over to the new kid  and approached him with their best masking smile.

Remember eye contact. She told herself. Keep your tone light and breezy but not too lifeless. Smile. Appear friendly and non threatening. Try not to sweat. Try not to scream.

"Hi excuse me," Marí began in a sickly sweet tone. "That's actually my seat! Sorry!"

The boy instantly looked embarrassed and apologetic. "Oh I'm sorry!" He blushed. "I didn't realize there was assigned seating." He had an American accent, California maybe?

Wonderful. A white American boy. Just what they needed.

Marí chewed their lip and fought the urge to rock or tap. "There isn't actually," they admitted. "I just usually sit there. So can you please move?"

Now the new kid looked a little offended. A cold look settled over his face. "Well why should I?" He bristled. "This seat isn't really yours. It's not like it has your name on it."

Marí rolled her eyes in frustration. "I tried that already but then I got in trouble."

He stared at them curiously for a moment. Marí took the opportunity to break eye contact finally and scuff their heel against the floor. They were wearing the new black suede chunky heels with the gem stones that Marí had gotten when they went thrifting with their friends.

"María!" The harsh voice of her teacher snapped her back into reality. Everyone had arrived and taken their seats while she was arguing with the American and now everyone was staring at her. "Could you please explain why you are not seated young lady?" She snapped in her extra pretentious sounding posh English accent.

The one that said, "I'm better than you."

Marí tried not to growl at being called a young lady. They weren't feeling particularly female today. Not that Marí was going to bother explaining that to some old British hag.

"He won't get out of my seat!" Marí protested. Instantly laughter broke out around the classroom. Cruel mocking laughter that made Marí feel like her skin was crawling.

"It's ok!" The new kid cried out, practically jumping out of Marí's seat. "I'll move! I'll go sit over here." He grabbed his bag and moved to the back of the room as quickly as possible.

Marí smiled in spite of themself. His random act of kindness was surprising, but they were grateful. They took their seat near the window and sighed in relief.

Marí would always look back on that day with fondness no matter what. It may not have seemed like much to him, but it meant the world to her. After Bio class she had asked Kit to come eat with her and her friends. They had made their introductions and the rest was history.

They became close friends very quickly, bonding over movies and music. They sent each other playlists of their favorite songs and songs that reminded them of each other. Marí made Kit a queer playlist with songs by queer artists and told Kit that they were bisexual and a demigirl. They hadn't even told their friends that last part yet at that point.

Marí also told Kit that they liked to use she/they pronouns, but so far was only using them online. Kit asked Marí a lot of questions then confessed to Marí that he was also bisexual but he was still kinda getting used to it.

"I grew up in a shitty situation," Kit had told them. "I guess I still have a lot of shame."

Marí didn't hold it against him. She bought him queer literature and resources for queer history including "Bisexuality and Queer Theory" and her printed copy of the article published in the 90s called "The Bisexual Manifesto." She gave him advice on websites and people to follow online.

They also just talked. Talked about life and their experiences. Their feelings and their relationships with their sexualities. Bonding with another queer person was always special but spending time with Kit always made Marí feel so...light.

Despite how close they were getting, Marí didn't always want to touch him. They were touch averse in most cases unless they were very comfortable with someone. Sometimes it just depended on the day. On the days where Marí found they could not hug Kit they had invented their own way to show affection.

They would place a hand over their hearts and tap it, as if to say "I care about you" or "I love you." Sometimes Kit would say "tap my heart" as a substitute for actually doing it.

He introduced her to his close friend Janessa, the wayward vampire who was incredibly hot and kind of made Marí all nervous and tounge twisty at first. But as they got to know her, Marí realized that she was also incredibly kind, passionate and clearly cared at great deal about Kit. Janessa was a gamer who had named herself after a video game character. She drank cups of warm blood in novelty mugs with giant swirly sparkly straws and was pretty good at making people laugh.

Janessa, or Nessie as Kit had affectionately nicknamed her, was flirtatious and charismatic, but also brutal and deadly in a fight. She was full of surprises. And maybe, just maybe Marì was a little bit into that.

However as much as Marí didn't want to admit it, they were also were starting to realize that they were way more into someone else. Someone with perfect golden curls that Marí wanted to curl their fingers into.

Eventually Kit came out to Marí as genderfluid and requested that she use alternating he/they pronouns for them. They both made the decision to collectively tell their friends their pronouns. Marí, Kit and Nessie sat around her gorgeous leather couch and talked for hours about gender, identity and transness. Kit pointed put that they may never be able to fully explain their gender to the other two, just like Kit might have a hard time fully understanding Janessa's relationship with gender, or Marí's because everyone was different.

"It's personal Nessie," he had said. "Everyone has their own unique perspective on gender and every trans person has their own complicated feelings about gender and what their own gender identity means to them, and those feelings might not completely match up with another trans person's. But that's ok. You don't have to understand the other person but you do have to respect them."

Janessa's understanding of gender came from being a trans women. It was about a strict  binary with clear lines and rules. Rules that Kit was starting to make a habit of fingerpainting all over and Marí could tell that it was stressing her out.

And Marí had no idea where the hell they fit in these rules. They had stopped playing the game.

But those two loved each other more than anything, and Marí knew they could work anything out. And sure enough approximately seven hours and four margaritas later (only two for Marí,) they had come to an understanding.

2014

She kissed Kit for the first time a month into the new year.

They had been trying on clothes in Marí's room and Kit was wearing one of their old dresses that Marí thought they looked amazing in, but Kit wanted to give it away. It was dark navy blue and sparkly with spaghetti straps, coming to about mid thigh. There were cut outs on the sides, filled in with black sheer fabric, and it had a low v cut at the neckline which was also filled in with black sheer.

Kit had been infodumping about one of the Marvel movies again, Marí couldn't remember which one, and she had kept getting distracted by his tan smooth skin peaking through the sheer fabric and fullness of Kit's moving lips. He smiled excitedly and Marí had stepped forward and kissed him.

Their first thought was that Kit tasted like chocolate. Their second was that they should have done this months ago.

Kit had melted into the kiss, smiling slightly against her mouth and pulling her closer. They kissed her feverishly, sliding their tounge inside Marí's mouth and moaning when she deepened the kiss eagerly. They moved against each other with almost lazy, comfortable precision, kissing each other for what could have been hours or days or maybe only seconds.

Marí couldn't have said.

When Kit finally broke the kiss and pulled away from Marí, his eyes were practically gleaming with joy and love. And that was when they knew.

I love him.

2015

I love him.

Ty's words ran in her ears. Repeating over and over again, maddenly bouncing around inside of her skull until she was forced to utter out loud,

"I love him".

They whispered it under their breath but Marí could tell that both Alyssa and Ty had heard them. It was so quiet you could probably hear a pin drop.

But of course. Of course he does. It was obvious. This whole time Marí had noticed there was something wrong with Ty. Just like there was something wrong with Kit. The way they stared after each other when they thought the other one wasn't looking. The loving and worshipful glances mixed with the bitter glares.

Marí had already known that Kit was in love with Ty of course. But the way they had told the story made it seem like they were positive that Ty couldn't be in love with them.

But then again maybe that made sense. Given Kit's history and who he was. But then Marí couldn't help but think of Ty and how confused he must have been. God it was a giant mess.

Speaking of...

The room was still silent. Marí found that she couldn't read Ty's expression as he stared back at her flatly. But his body was shaking, his fingers fluttered at his sides. She wanted to soothe him.

They stepped forward carefully. "I'm not mad at you," Marí assured him. "I was hoping we could talk?"

Ty's left eye twitched. "We are talking," he pointed out. Alyssa snorted.

"Ty, they mean about the proverbial bomb you just dropped a few seconds ago," Alyssa said with a laugh.  Marí smirked to themself slightly.

It wasn't really a bomb. More like a flare.

She really needed to talk to Ty. The only problem was Alyssa had an annoying tendency to never leave his side. It wasn't like she had a problem with the girl. Of course not. But her presence meant that Marí hadn't had the opportunity to talk to Ty one on one.

They cleared their throat. "Alyssa could you please give Ty and I some space to talk?" They asked. Marí hoped they didn't sound too rude. Alyssa looked to Ty and he nodded slightly, signaling that he was ok with her leaving.

That was so strange to Marí. Their relationship. The way Alyssa, a werewolf who hated shadowhunters even more then Marí did, essentially took orders from him and clearly trusted him more than anyone else. But perhaps she wasn't one to judge.

After all, she loved Kit.

Alyssa left the room with a pat on Ty's back and a quick, "call if you need me." Marí shifted their weight back and forth as they rocked slightly from side to side as they waited for Ty to speak.

He stared back at her silently, most likely doing the same. Marí blew out a loud breath and forced herself to stay still, crossing her arms.

"Are you going to say something or should I?" Ty asked expectantly. Marí bit their lip and shrugged.

"I'm still thinking of what I wanna say," she admitted.

Ty smiled at her softly. "So am I."

There we go. Cracks in the armour.

"I'm sorry," Ty whispered suddenly. "I never meant to-"

"You don't have to apologize!" Marí blurted out. Whoops they had interrupted him. "Oh shit sorry you were still talking!" They reached for their hair nervously and realized that they were wearing that Morticia wig for their costume.

Great. Marí moved on to chewing on her knuckles.

"It's ok," Ty reassured her. "I don't really know where I was going with that sentence. And you shouldn't do that." He pointed to her hand.

Marí scoffed, "yeah well you shouldn't dig your nails into your palms." He glared at them and they laughed.

"Not so fun playing a game of Mirror Image is it?" They teased. Ty didn't respond, just stared at Marí solemnly.

"You know I really admire you," he said, aiming his gaze close enough to hers to create the illusion of eye contact. "I always have. I never wanted to hurt or upset you."

Marí wished for a brief moment that they could touch him and then shrugged the impulse off. "I know love," they cooed. "Me too."

Without really understanding why, she pressed her hand to her chest directly above her heart and tapped, just like how she did with Kit. Ty studied Marí for a moment and then followed suite.

Marí in spite of themself, actually felt bad for him. They could clearly see the toll the last three years had taken on him, specifically the last few weeks. Maybe his family couldn't see it, and they definitely knew that Kit couldn't, but Marí could.

Marí of all people could see past the mask because they knew what masking looked like. It wasn't just about appearing normal, whatever that word meant. It was about hiding your feelings. Taking that heart you wore on your sleeve and locking it up tight. But everytime Marí looked at Ty, they could see it. And it was bleeding.

Ripped and bloody and broken, just like her own and yet they both still had the sheer audacity to keep breathing. Marí was proud of them both.

"You need to talk to him," Marí prompted. "You both need to be honest with each other."

Ty furrowed his brow. "Honest? About what? He doesn't feel the same way." He had gone back to flicking his fingers as he stared at her, looking puzzled.

Bloody hell between the two of them, Kit and Ty were giving Marí the mother of all headaches.

They took a deep breath. "Yes they do Ty," Marí tried not to sound exasperated. "Kit is in love with you, believe me. They told me."

It hurt Marí's heart to have to say it, but it was true and Ty deserved to know the truth. And they knew deep down that Kit wouldn't really be happy, he wouldn't be Kit until he had Ty. And Marí had to make their peace with that.

Ty looked understandably confused. He ran a frantic hand through his hair. "But why are you telling me this? Why are you helping me?" He asked. "Don't you love them?"

She fought the urge to cry as tears gathered in her eyes. She found herself digging her nails into her palms despite chastising Ty for doing it a few minutes ago.

"I'm telling you all of this because I love them" she cried desperately. "Because Kit cries out your name in his sleep Ty! Because everytime he sees you, he stares at you like you are the moon the sun and the stars! Because everytime you speak they hang onto absolutely every word, and when you laugh-" Marí cut herself off.

They squeezed their eyes shut and took deep long breaths. Ty said nothing. Marí opened their eyes to see Ty staring at them in dismay. He looked like he was trying to think of what to say to help.

Marí shook their head. "I know Kit loves me. And they probably always will. We were close friends even before we started dating." Marí groaned and shook out their entire body this time, jumping up and down a few times as well to get rid of the tension. If Ty thought this was weird he didn't comment on it.

Marí wiped her eyes carefully trying not to smudge her mascara. "But you Ty?" His eyes refocused on her again at the sound of his name. Marí chuckled humourlessly. "Fucking hell, he is in love with you. And right now he is thinking that you hate him and I know it's tearing him up inside."

Ty stared at Marí hopelessly, looking overwhelmed and exhausted. "So what do I do then? What am I supposed to say?"

Marí shrugged. "I can't help you with that I'm sorry. It has to come from you." Ty looked even more panicked.

They gave him what they hoped was an encouraging smile. "Don't be scared Ty," they murmered. "It's Kit remember. They're not scary. You have nothing to worry about."

Ty didn't answer her. He had wrapped his arms around his body, squeezing tightly. "Marí do you remember those dead moon jellyfish we buried on the beach?" He asked.

She was a little confused as to why he was bringing this up now. "Yeah? Why?"

"That's what I feel like right now," Ty admitted. "Like I've washed up on the beach and now I'm just waiting for someone to come along and step on me."

Marí's heart sank. "Oh Ty," they breathed. "I promise that won't happen with Kit. I can't make any promises for anyone else, but I do know that Kit has absolutely no intention of hurting you again love."

Ty looked pensive. Marí could only hope that Ty would make the decision to trust them.

With a sudden jolt Marí remembered the party.

"Hey we still have the Halloween party to go to," she said, shaking Ty out of his stupor. "Do you still wanna go?"

To their surprise, Ty nodded. "Sure. I think Alyssa might kill me if I back out now."

Marí snorted. Alyssa Reyes could be pretty terrifying at times.

With surprise Marí found that their spirts were lighter having cleared the air with Ty and with the prospect of a party being renewed.

She smiled. "All right then let's head out!" Marí smoothed down the long black wig over her shoulders and quickly smoothed out the long skirt of her black slinky dress before turning and exiting the training room.

She knew that she would have to talk to Kit at some point and that conversation would be brutal. But at least they could have one last night together.

It's better this way. Marí told themself as they walked back towards the main living room where everyone was gathered.  At least now Kit can be happy.

It's for the best.

It has to be.

So I'm actually planning on writing a part 3 from Kit's pov because the drama isn't over yet! 😏

Tag list: lmk if you wanna be added/removed.

@playwithravenclaw @lavender-scented-rat @jazzkaurtheglorious @waterlillies   @nott-the-best @stxr-thxif @magnus-the-fabulous-entp-bane @foxglove-airmid @littlx-songbxrd @clarys-heosphoros @queenlilith43 @arangiajoan @hardlymatters @thomas-gaypanic-lightwood @tired-vin @phoenix-and-dragon @the-blackdale @adoravel-fenomeno @the-wckd-powers

#tsc #twp #kit x ty #marí the werewolf #the wicked powers #maría machado sotomayor #we stan autistic bonding #we stan queer bonding

[sirenascales]

-> Chuuya with a Black F!Reader who's a bit insecure because of her skin.

@furrypostsoul said: Hello admin, I hope you’re having a good day! So stoked to see a fellow bisexual bsd fan! I would politely like to request a chuuya Drabble with a black fem bisexual reader where she thought that chuuya wouldnt be interested in her romantically cause of y’know, her skin. If you could also add in scenarios where she was racially harassed in public (pls dont write this is ur not comfortable, I understand if you don’t! it’s something I want people to be aware about)

note: ahhh thank you so much for your request! i immediately had an idea as soon as I saw it and I believe I came up with a good one, especially after asking some of my pals for advice on how to tackle it! Hope you like it!

warnings: colorism, mentions of racial fetishization, microaggresion, and racism [not from Chuuya] insecure reader, angst to fluff i promise,

"I still don't understand why it takes so long to do your hair... aren't you just getting braids?" The confused look on Chuuya's face was honestly super cute and hilarious and you couldn't help but laugh behind your hand.

"That's just the way it is, man. That's why I said we can go out on Saturday. I can't on Friday since I'll be strapped to the chair."

"Man, whatever," Chuuya huffed and you rolled your eyes at him, crossing your arms over your chest.

"Don't whatever me. Just suck it up!"

You shook your head, the hustle and bustle of the shopping district around you fading as you looked to your companion. Red hair, blue eyes, fancy clothes and a dumb hat; Chuuya was honestly too handsome, too damn fine. The scowl on his face was cute and you resisted the urge to pinch his cheeks. You knew he would literally kill you for that, and you valued your life.

You and Chuuya were in that talking stage and finally decided to go out on your first official date on Saturday. Besides his... occupation, you found yourself very much liking the man. Not just for his looks, but his fiery personality made him interesting, the way he carried himself. He was great and you were so into him.

You hoped he felt the same way. He had to, he agreed to the date in the first place! And how could he not? You were a sight, rich brown skin and he sorta, kinda, absolutely loved the cute afro puffs you had on your head. You were beautiful, a bright spirit with a bit of an edge that Chuuya definitely liked.

After talking some more, Chuuya had to go off to do his own thing, and after sharing a very tight hug, you waved him farewell, promising to see him on Saturday for your first date.

You couldn't help the huge, happy grin on your face, giddy as you made your way over to a nearby bench, sitting next to an older woman. You paid her no mind, grabbing your phone to text your friend as you giggled to yourself.

"Was that your boyfriend?" the woman suddenly inquired and you blinked at her in surprise. Then, your face started to heat up and you laughed lightly.

"Well, not yet. We're just dating."

"Ah..." the woman trailed off and you didn't like the tone of her voice. Suddenly feeling awkward, you turned back to your phone.

"I don't mean to be rude," the woman started and you couldn't help the sense of dread you felt. Here we go again. "But you should be careful, dear. You're a beautiful woman but... Japanese men don't really like dark skin. Not unless they are with you for... ulterior motives."

Even if you were already expecting some foolishness, the woman's words still stunned you, striking you to your core as you gave her a look that exceeded shock. You were appalled, your chest tightening in anger and hurt. You took in a slow deep breath, your fists clenching tightly. Your body had gone numb, and you tried your best to keep it cool. You couldn't make a scene.

"Wow," you laughed softly, shaking your head as you stood up. You didn't pay that stupid bitch any mind, storming away, your anger just boiling.

Not only did that woman ruin your entire day, she honestly ruined your entire week. The anger had soon subsided and you were left with the insecurities you tried to push down, especially when it came to Chuuya. Your mind ran at one hundred miles per hour, overthinking as the cruel words lingered in your mind.

Was Chuuya another one? Like your last relationship, were you just a sexual conquest for someone just wanting to try having sex with a Black girl? That was what your ex-girlfriend did to you, so was this just the same? Did he even like you?

No. Chuuya wouldn't do that.

Even so, you canceled your date with him as you sat in the stylist's chair on Friday, eyes burning with tears. You didn't want to experience that again, so you figured you give it all up before you get hurt again. Or even worse.

After spending day getting your hair done, you gotten a quick bite to eat before heading home, feeling completely dejected. Your hair looked amazing, long box braids swaying as you trudged along. But Chuuya didn't answer your text at all, and that honestly made you feel even more like shit. Did he not care at all?

You sighed deeply, coming up on your apartment, stopping when you saw a very familiar red motorcycle parked along the sidewalk. Your heart skipped a beat when you spotted Chuuya leaning against his bike, and when he finally noticed you, your heart dropped when he yelled your name.

"Oi!" he hollered, stomping over to you angrily. "What the hell do you mean our date is canceled?!"

"I-" you were at a loss for words. "Why are you here?"

"I was waiting for you! I didn't know where you were getting your hair done so I just stood here."

"Th-the whole day?! Chuuya!"

"I mean, I went and got food and stuff but-"

"That's not the point!" you interrupted. "Why would you even bother?"

Chuuya scoffed. "Are you serious? You suddenly cancel our date and you expect me not to worry about you?" As he finished talking, Chuuya is shocked to find tears pooling in your eyes, your lips trembling as you hung your head. "H-hey, what the hell happened?"

"You don't just want to fuck me, right?"

Now Chuuya was at a loss for words, his jaw hanging open as he registered your ridiculous words. You spoke again, telling him about the things that woman said to you earlier that week, as well as the horrible experience you had with your ex-girlfriend.

"... I tried not to think too much about it but... I'm used to comments about my skin and race, I mean, hello! I'm Black, but... " you trailed off, lifting your hands up to wipe your tears away. Chuuya beat you to it, and you stared at him with teary eyes as he gently wiped your tears away.

"I'm not your ex-girlfriend." Chuuya was firm as he spoke. "And that old hag needs to mind her own fucking business. I fucking like you. Not because of some weird sexual thing, I actually fucking like you. The whole you. You're beautiful and smart, you keep me on my toes. And yes, your skin and hair are amazing, I love them, but those are only parts of you that I find amazing. I'm not giving you my love and attention because I want something from you, I'm giving it because you deserve it. And I want to be the one who gives it to you."

You didn't know what to say, what to do. You could hear your heart pounding in your ears, your mouth going dry. Still, after a moment you just end up punching Chuuya lightly on his chest, choking out a laugh while you cried.

"Shut up... all that sappy shit..."

Chuuya scoffed, lowkey offended. "Excuse me? I basically just confessed to you."

"Yeah..." you sniffed, looking and giving the man a watery smile. "You did. I..." Lips trembling again, you took a step forward and Chuuya wasted no time in pulling you in for a hug.

"And you better accept me or else I will kick your ass," Chuuya said, pressing his face against your hair. "You smell nice..."

"Hm."

"And you're perfect. Worth more than an experimental fuck and the words of some old bitch." There was a bite to Chuuya's words, and that made you feel so much better.

"I'm sorry for doubting you..." you whispered and Chuuya shook his head, pulling away from the hug.

"Don't be. I understand, I promise."

You smiled widely, face getting hot as he gently cupped your cheek. "Are you sure?"

Chuuya rolled his eyes. "Fine, you can make it up to me by un-cancelling our date. Let me show you off."

You giggled softly, hugging him again. "Okay. That's fair."

Send in your requests!

#chuuya x reader #bsd x reader #chuuya x black reader #bsd requests #i really hope this is okay!!!

[sickly-sweet-imagines]

Sorry if this breaks rules or offends you, but I've seen this a lot and thought a comfort fic would be nice.

Tw biphobia

I was wondering if you could make a fic/HC post(whichever works), with one for male and female respectively, where the reader is bisexual and in a relationship with Edelgard and Hubert respectively and are told by both people in the LGBT+ community and out of it that they aren't "really LGBT+" because the relationship is straight, and the character comforts the reader because they're crying from the harrassment.

Sorry if this isn't allowed or is poorly written, I've just seen a lot of it and as a bi man myself it's kinda heartbreaking and I'm to afraid to write my own fic.

Regardless have a nice day.

It doesn’t break the rules or offend me at all, I’d be happy to write it! I’m sorry you’ve experienced so much biphobia, it’s upsettingly prevalent and I hope this can provide some comfort to that. TW: Mentions of biphobia under the cut

– – – – –

Edelgard von Hresvelg w/ Male S/o

You’ve always heard comments about how you should just pick a side

Which... You and those close to you know isn’t how it works

But there will always be people who make a point of acting like it is, like your sexuality is a choice and you’re somehow lying to the community for being bi

It’s not exactly enjoyable

Oftentimes you’ll just try and ignore it, let the comments roll of your back- your personal community supports you, that’s enough to keep you content

But sometimes people just become so... Venomous

People will try to claim the most horrible things about you, assuming the worst of intentions when you’re just trying to engage in your community and be honest about who you are

It can get unbearable sometimes

Edelgard had always been a bit rough towards people who made passing comments about it- she’s never been one to let injustice slide

But goddess, seeing you broken down on your floor after an especially rude group of passerby threw some words your way made her blood boil

She couldn’t tolerate it

None of the things they were saying about you were true, you were still bi and you were still just as attracted to other men as you were before you started dating a woman

It was... Infuriating to say the least

But she could handle those dastards later, a far more important priority on her mind was you

She looks at you, seeing how shrunken in and hurt you are, and her heart squeezes in her chest

She hates seeing you hurting

Edelgard crouches down beside you, a hand resting gently on your back

Her skills with verbal comfort aren’t particularly honed, but she doesn’t need to speak to provide you her support

You can feel in the way she holds you, pulling you close, the barely controlled anger

You can also feel the gentleness and love that’s keeping it controlled as she rubs your back

She struggles to find the right words to say, so she instead opts for a simple “I love you”

Your throat is too tight to reply, but she can tell you said it back

The two of you stayed like that for the remainder of the afternoon, long after your tears had stopped

It was nice, as simple as it was, to cuddle like that

It felt safe, it was comforting after such a difficult interaction

Of course, Edelgard found a way to take care of the people who’d made those comments

Hubert von Vestra w/ Fem S/o

Sometimes you really wished you could just convince yourself you were too sensitive

The things people said to you hurt so much so often

You just wished it was as easy to get over what they said as it seemed like it was for them to say it

You’ve been shoved out of your own communities over and over again for being “manipulative” just because you were bi

You couldn’t understand how being attracted to people was inherently manipulative, and those around you made it clear that it wasn’t to any reasonable person, but the way people talked to you still hurt so much

No matter how often you tried to ignore it, somehow comments would always get back to you about how negatively people viewed you because of your sexuality

It hurt to be rejected from the community you were supposed to be a part of

At least you had your small circle who knew better, like Hubert

Hubert... Was not one to tolerate the hateful comments thrown your way, more likely to try and silence those who hurl baseless insults and accusations, be it temporarily or permanently

He was, admittedly, a bit protective

But nothing he’d done to protect you before could match up to the white hot rage that filled his mind when he saw you crumpled up on your bed in tears

Oh, those monsters did not know what was coming to them

He, much like Edelgard, was not particularly comforting with his words

However the threats he made under his breath as he pulled you into his arms and cradled you against his chest gave the same effect that traditional comfort would

He held you gently, stroking your hair and rubbing circles into your hip

You could feel the slight shake to his hands and lips as he kissed your head

It was obvious how angry this had made him

“They will pay for this my dear, don’t worry.”

It wasn’t an ‘I love you’ in so many words, but it was his greatest expression of love and loyalty

He held you until you calmed down, releasing you from his arms when you seemed contented

He did not, however, leave your side for even a moment for the remainder of the day

He followed close behind you wherever you went, shooting his most terrifying gazes at those who seemed to be looking at you wrong

It was nice. Comforting- Hubert may not be one for long lasting physical affection, but his loyalty and protection were a stronger love language than any you’d encountered

The group who had hurt you in the first place were taken care of

He did not tell you the details, and you did not ask

#fire emblem #Fire Emblem Three Houses #Edelgard von Hresvelg #hubert von vestra #fire emblem imagines #fire emblem three houses imagine #edelgard imagine #hubert imagine #fire emblem x reader #fire emblem three houses x reader #edelgard x reader #hubert x reader #headcanons #Anon

[breanime]

I’m honestly surprised I’m not requesting smut lmaooo but can I make a request for rio plssss?? I want 18 from fluff and 1&3 from the bonus section, but it be the reader punching beth cause I really don’t like her 😂

warning: pregnancy

*gif not mine*

You were in no mood for Beth Boland’s shenanigans

And yet what were you currently dealing with?

Beth Boland’s shenanigans

You stood on the right side of Rio, Mick was on the left, as Beth delivered yet another monologue about how she was a mother and therefore the rules didn’t apply to her

Ruby and Annie were next to her, looking uncomfortable and nervous--the way they always did during drops

“I can’t just drop everything and run out to pick up product,” she was saying for what felt like the 10th time in the last month, “I have children! I have a family!”

You bit your lip, trying to keep yourself from telling her that you and Rio had a family too

Instinctively, you put a hand over your stomach

It was still early, and you hadn’t told Rio, but

your family was growing

“I can’t just run out in the middle of the day--I have PTO, and bake sales, and recitals and after school play dates and--”

“--Why don’t you stop making excuses and start paying me my money on time?” Rio interrupted, unamused

Beth huffed. “I’m not one of your gang-banging little homies, okay? I can’t run out in the middle of the school day to meet you--”

“--But you are,” Rio said, “you’re a drug dealer, you’re just a step away from banging, Elizabeth. Just like me.”

Her jaw dropped, offended

“I am nothing like you!” She spat. “I am a mother, and a wife, I have people who care about me! I do Girl Scout meetings and school events and trips to the zoo--I’m a part of society! If something happened to me, people would care. If something happened to you, no one would notice, except maybe the FBI, and even then, they’d be happy to see you six feet under--”

In a second, Beth was thrown onto her ass, screaming as she hit the ground

Annie and Ruby screamed too, and held onto each other, eyes wide

You stood above Beth, your fist aching

Mick whistled lowly behind you

“Oh my God! Beth!” Ruby gasped.

“Why did you punch her?!” Annie screamed, her eyebrows knitted as she glared/stared at you. 

“I dunno,” you shook your hand, “Why does anyone do anything?”

Rio stepped up to you, taking your hand in his and examining it

“You okay?” He asked you, his eyes soft

Beth scrambled up to her feet, hair wild and eyes wide. Her cheek was already reddening and swelling

“Her? What about me?!” She cried, putting her hand over her face. “You could have broken my nose!”

“But she didn’t,” Annie said timidly, “so let’s just go ahead and call this a win and just go home...”

“Not before you give us a down payment,” you said back, “for making us wait. Empty your wallets.”

Ruby and Annie moved quickly, emptying out their wallets, pockets, and purses, and handing the contents to you and Mick

“Sorry,” Annie murmured as she dropped a handful of sticky quarters int your hand

“This is so unprofessional,” Beth was still going on, glaring over at Rio now, “Are you really going to let this happen? I thought you were the big boss--”

You whipped your gun out and pointed it at Beth, and she immediately shut up

“Just give me the word,” you growled to Rio

“You’d shoot her?” Rio asked back, not at all concerned with this quick turn of events. “For me?”

“Hell yeah, I’d kill for you,” you looked over at him, and your heart flipped in your chest when you saw the way he was looking at you

Like you were the only other person in the room, in the world

He smiled, putting his hand on yours, lowering the gun

“It’s all good, babe, relax.”

“I won’t forget this,” Beth said once your gun was holstered, “He taught me how to use a gun--”

“--Yeah, he taught me too in, like, the 10th grade,” you drawled

“--and I will shoot you if I have to,” she finished

Normally, her threat would have either annoyed or enraged you

But the idea of her not only threatening Rio, but you, and the little life inside of you, had your blood going cold

So when you spoke, you didn’t think, you just opened your mouth and let the words spill out

 “I’m pregnant.”  

Beth stopped talking, Ruby and Annie both looked like their eyes were gonna pop out of their heads, and Mick actually gasped, his hand going to his throat (his invisible pearls?)

Rio was staring at you

“Mick,” he said, eyes still on you, “Get the money and set up a meet time. Sometime next week. In the a.m,” he turned back towards Beth for a moment, “Cancel your bake sale if you have to, just don’t be late, and have my money.”

He took your hand in his and led you out of the warehouse, opening the car door for you

He stood beside you as you got in, those dark eyes on yours

“You for real?”

You nodded.

His big hand went to your stomach, pressing down on it gently, a smiling growing on his face

“... thank you.”

He kissed you, and you smiled into the kiss

“I’ll be right back, baby,” he promised, turning and heading back into the warehouse

You saw him pull out his gold gun, and you knew he’d be sticking it under Beth’s chin in a matter of seconds

You grinned at the thought of it

Your child’s father was very protective of you both, 

and you loved it

*******************************************************************************************

Thanks for reading! Please let me know what you think! I might nap soon...or at the very least, eat something. 

Everything Taglist: @sweetybuzz25  @mrsjaxtellerfan  @rhabakoli  @encounterthepast @realduckvader   @justvnash @knowles-morgan  @ateliefloresdaprimavera @evanlys19  @nyxxnoxx @carlaangel86  @luminex3 @jigsawlover10  @gollyderek @otomefromtheheart  @lexxierave  @amethyst09 @falsehopesndreams  @a-dorky-book-keeper @witchygagirl @glimmerglittergirl @fvckthisbxtchup  @ben-c-group-therapy @felicity-x0 @amirra88 @yourfellowangel @vibranium-soul @xserenax-13  @woahitslucyylu​  @gemini0410 @ktiz90 @theoceanhathsolace @starrynite7114 @my-rosegold-soul @papa-geralt-of-cirilla​ @abbiesthings @peaches007​ @ifoundmyhappythought​ @tegggeeee​

Rio Taglist:  @gensneverland @jamielennkeeler @angels-pie @hermionetriskatniss  @christinawxxx  @whovianayesha @tashawar @existentialvacuum @beardburnsupersoldiers @feelingsandemotionsnotexplored @thickemadame @juul4jesus @ missjessie21 @uhlxis @smoooore @redcup90 @cassie12435 @bisexual-space-slut @texasbama @chaotic-rayofsunshine  @langiinspirations @browngirldominion @nivky0-0 @scuzmunkie @eclecticblkgirl

#rio x reader #rio imagine #rio #rio good girls #bre's prompts list drabbles #bre's prompts list drabbles event

[levyfiles]

Noting that you wrote a twt thread supporting Watcher for giving lgbt youth just a little tiny fraction of their revenue for reluctantly splashing there shit w/ rainbow aesthetics and they even used a line from Shane acting so weird around a person for saying they're bisexual. Like are you kidding me? Even you didn't find that funny! how can you feel good about yourself? are you that braindead about your perfect Steven?

Ohhhkay. To start off with, congratulations, your ask was the least abusive one lambasting me on this topic so yours is the one I've decided to give a platform to.

So, as someone who has been present with Watcher since their launch, I can attest that I and many others were actively campaigning for pride merch the moment we knew we could make suggestions. When we heard the merch shoot was coming, I and many other fans were thrilled they were finally unveiling a line that was specifically like a love letter to us. We wanted to enjoy the thing we liked while also enjoying the fact that a company loved its supporters right back and knew to express that every other day of the year. Queerness is deeply interwoven in so much of their content, the people they have on as guests, and they, I have said this in my tweet that offended you so, they have queer employees who they are paying well to whom they, unlike most companies, ensure have appropriate holidays and full benefits! And then of course, this calls into question why so many of us are adamant about not forcing people to out themselves in defense of engaging in queer culture and media until such a time that we find it inconvenient?

Let's put the rest under a read more because I got a lot to say.

Secondly, the entire premise of the discourse over rainbow capitalism and its harms is that the companies that are guilty of it are not only conglomerates who with one hand peddle the gay aesthetic during June but with the other turn around and donate to organisations and lobbyists who actively seek to harm and destory the lives of queer people all over the world. Watcher is a company we watched being built from the ground up and watched push through the most devastating year for small businesses because they took care of their employees. During an AMA on their discord, at some point, Katie confessed that she thought she would be out of a job last April but they powered through this and even offered to pay Matt Real for work he was rendered incapable of doing due to the pandemic. This is not even a hugely established company with loads of investors. They have done what they can to keep afloat while also pressing the largest efforts toward making their audience feel included and accepted. It is also a big deal that they work with a supplier for their merch that is not only on board to make the best quality of the Pride merch they can but willing to match their donation. That's a whole 30% of proceeds (some of which go to Gianthugs anyway).

Thirdly, the saying. I would challenge you to actually go back through my old asks and posts about Shane's reaction to Tonya and find where I didn't even find Shane's saying funny. I think the way he said it and the timing of his delivery is in keeping with how deeply he wants his audience to know where he stands and it should also tell you a lot more about how absolutely terrible Shane is at weighing in on discourse next to his cofounders; if I can take us back to some older discourse about Shane's very obvious silence during the anti-asian hate campaign as well as BLM.

Lastly, the Steven thing. Just. Really? I hesitate to engage over this particular brand of hate because it lacks conviction. Moreover the fact that you took a broad leap from your transgression with Shane to try to pin that on Steven is so transparent to me. People will write endless disclaimers about why they're so weird about Steven simply because he's religious and religious trauma is a thing and believe me when I say that I know how that feels as a queer mixed person who grew up firmly esconced in the brainwashing of fundamentalist christianity but then again, I find that more of the prejorative weight of historical harm practiced by the christian church was perpetrated by white colonizers and somehow and in someway people take Shane at face value. It's almost as if the weight of a community's actions can only be demonstrably forgiven with the future actions of their descendents.

Earlier today I saw someone ask one of the people pushing the "Steven is homophobic" campaign that if they really think Steven hates queer people wouldn't that make Ryan and Shane guilty by association and the person actually replied "no because grown adults are allowed to have different opinions than other grown adults even if they're friends with them" which?????? That is the exact reason the twitter teens got so mad at Steven lol I'm reeling. Guys, just do better. Actively interact with nuance please. Step away and afford yourself the luxury of participating in conversations with other queer people that isn't black and white and for god's sake, if your last defense to people disagreeing with you is to cite the way they enjoy fandom as your thinkpiece, maybe you're not really fighting in defense of marginilised people; maybe you want to center yourself in a campaign that makes allowances for you to bully and harrass people.

#watcher #discourse #yikes

[slytherweasley]

Just a kiss (Ginny Weasley x reader)

Warnings: swearing mentions of sex but no details

Summary- Y/n and Ginny are just friends, as far as Y/n knows Ginny is straight until one day in the Gryffindor common room everyone is playing spin the bottle.

The common room was filled with drunk students, Gryffindors are known for getting absolutely blackout drunk among the other houses. Y/n has been going to parties since third year and is now in sixth year, she isn’t into drinking as much as she used to but always goes to parties because they’re good fun.

“Everyone we are playing spin the bottle!” A Gryffindor boy yells and everyone gathers in a big circle. Everyone knew Y/n was bisexual so she didn’t mind kissing other girls.

“You have to join” Ron says “I don’t think the girls are going to want to kiss me” “Who gives a fuck? I’ll kiss you, Merlin’s sake.” Ron drags her into the circle. Y/n catches the eye of Ginny Weasley, she has fancied Ginny for a while, she’s Y/n’s best friend’s younger sister and completely straight.

Everyone takes their turn in the circle until it gets to Ginny, she spins the bottle and it lands on Y/n. “You don’t have to” she avoids eye contact “It’s just a kiss” she says and you look up, she is smiling. Ginny has always been so nice to you, she was probably the most accepting when you came out.

She kisses Y/n and people start cheering and laughing. Y/n couldn’t believe she got the chance to kiss Ginny, probably the only ever chance she will ever get. Ginny didn’t seem affected at all, why would she? She’s straight, Y/n had to constantly remind herself of that.

After playing a few rounds you left the circle. “Stay one more round” Ron says “I’m good but you go on kissing boys, Ron” you laugh “Shut up I’m not gay” “What’s that supposed to mean?” “Y/n you know I don’t care, I didn’t mean to offend you” “I’m just joking Ron, I know you aren’t” “You’re a git.”

Y/n gets up out of the circle and see that Ginny leaves right after Y/n. Y/n pours herself a shot “Mind pouring one for me too?” Y/n turns around to see Ginny and she pours her a shot “Cheers” they take it together “That really burns” Ginny says “That is why I stick to the light stuff” Y/n states “So what’s up with the tequila?” “Ron dragged me into that circle, I hate it.” “I am glad he did because you’re a good kisser” “Thanks Ginny.”

Y/n and Ginny get talking while everyone plays truth or dare. “You don’t answer this but, have you always liked girls?” “I guess so, I only realised when I saw this girl and I thought she was the most beautiful person I had ever seen.” “What did you do?” “She’s straight so I didn’t even bother” Y/n tried not to make it obvious that she was talking about her. “Did you ask her?” “No but she had never dated a girl or even mentioned a girl.” “Maybe she was too scared to come out, maybe she fancies you too” Y/n realised she knew Y/n was talking about her. “Do you think it’s too late for me?” “No I think you should do something about it.”

Y/n looked around the room and got up, she turned around to see if Ginny got what she was doing. Ginny winks at Y/n, Ginny gets up after her and they stop on the outside of Y/n’s dorm “Hermione is in there” “Come with me” Ginny takes Y/n’s hand and takes her into her dorm. Y/n shuts the door behind her, Ginny pins Y/n to the door and kisses her. Y/n picks Ginny up and takes her to the bed.

Ginny quickly starts undressing herself and Y/n “Ginny, are you sure you want to do this?” “Yes, I’m so sure.” Ginny wanted to take control and see how it was to loose her virginity. Afterwards she lays next to Y/n “Holy shit” she says “How was it?” “Fucking amazing!” “Better than with a guy?” “I wouldn’t know” “Did I just take your virginity?” “Yes, I hope that’s okay” “Thats fine, I’m just surprised.”

“So do you want me to go now? So that your dorm mates don’t come here to see you naked with me in bed?” “They’re all hooking up with guys tonight, you can stay if that’s what you do after sex.” “I usually just leave but I took your virginity and I fancy you so I may as well stay.”

Y/n and Ginny cuddle up together to keep each other warm “So about you fancying me” Ginny says “Yeah” “You said that’s how you found out you’re bisexual, you came out two years ago.” “If you’re asking if I’ve fancied you for that long, yes I have” “I wish I said something earlier, I’ve fancied you for months. I didn’t know if you fancied me and I wasn’t prepared to come out yet.” “Even if you told me I would never tell anyone, I’m not that person” Ginny kisses Y/n’s lips “Y/n you’re too good for me” “Stop it Gin, you’re perfect” Y/n places a kiss on her lips.

Ginny goes to sleep cuddles up with Y/n, the next morning Y/n wakes up and Ginny is already awake. “Good morning sleepyhead” Ginny moves Y/n’s hair out of her face “Morning Gin” she gives Ginny a kiss. Y/n and Ginny lay in bed for a while enjoying the morning sun and each other’s company. “You’re so beautiful Ginny” Y/n sees her ginger hair sparkling in the morning sun, her breasts just poking out from under the covers, she looks like one of the portraits from where the woman would lay out on the couch naked. Her skin is pale like a porcelain doll but Ginny is much prettier.

Y/n pulls the covers down and straddles Ginny. She kisses from her stomach all the way to her lips, taking in her beauty. “Y/n, I don’t think I can walk away from all of this and not ask you to be my girlfriend” “Then don’t, ask me” “Y/n, will you be my girlfriend?” “Yes I will, Gin” Y/n kisses her lips.

Y/n helped Ginny come out, her family was accepting of her and so was everyone else she told, people were even more happy that she ended up with Y/n. “Mum wants to know if you will be at the burrow for summer break” Ron says “Yes I will” “Why didn’t she ask me?” “Because I’m her best friend longer than you’ve been her girlfriend.”

Y/n always loves going to the burrow but now that she will be with Ginny the whole time it’s going to be much better. “Oh Y/n! It’s lovely to have you back again!” Mrs Weasley pulls you into a hug “I’m so proud that you and Ginny are dating! It’s wonderful news, Arthur is just as excited too.” “Thank you so much Mrs Weasley” “You’re officially a Weasley now” “Alright, mum. I’m taking Y/n up to my room” “Ginny, I have the same rules for the boys, no girls in their rooms no girlfriend in yours.” “But Hermione will be there the whole time and we will keep the door open plus you wouldn’t want Y/n to sleep by herself would you?” “Oh alright then just make sure Hermione is in there with you two” “Don’t worry Mrs Weasley I’ll make sure they keep it to a minimum.”

Ginny has a small single bed, usually Y/n sleeps within Hermione on a matress but Y/n and Ginny want to cuddle over summer so Y/n sleeps in Ginny’s bed. Hermione got quite annoyed at the constant sound of snogging all night “I’m going to sleep in Ronald’s room where I won’t hear you two all night” “Keep it friendly in there” Y/n teases her.

Any any chance they got, they would snog or even make love to each other. Ginny and Y/n couldn’t get enough of each other and neither of them would want it any other way.

#ginny weasley #ginny weasley x you #ginny weasley x reader

[wookie92]

WHAT IT’S LIKE TO HAVE A MICROPENIS

My micropenis is approximately ½ to 1 inch long when flaccid and 3.3 inches long when fully erect.  When  fully erect it has an upward angle and a slight banana curve. It is also very thin (2.8), though proportional to the length.  According to calculations my penis has a volume of 36.19 ml / 1.22 fl oz (us).  Various studies suggest that the average American penis is 2.8–3.9 inches flaccid and around 4.7–6.3 inches when erect.  According to online information at SIZEMEUP, in a room of 1000 guys only 1 would be shorter than me.

In an adult, the average stretched penile length is about 13.24 cm (5.21 in.). An adult micropenis is a stretched penile length of 9.32 cm (3.67 in.) or less.  Growing up I remember reading that a micropenis was defined as any penis shorter than 2.8 inches in length.  But have been subsequently given new information that slid me well under the 3.67 inch upper limit.

Where Do I Stand On The Penis Size Chart?

All this to say: the majority of average flaccid penises are longer than mine when I am erect.

I cannot say that I am deeply ashamed of my micropenis, but certainly I have experienced shame with regard to my size.  I can say that I am extremely self aware of my penis size.  This is largely because of the of things I hear women and women say about micropenis, and people’s reaction to my own micropenis.

I can only speak from personal experience, but the number of times I have heard women making fun of men for the size of their manhood is staggering. At one time, I actually overheard three or four of my colleagues at work all agreeing that "men with small dicks should be required to wear a warning sign."

In school, especially high school and as an undergraduate, I was subject to a lot of hazing and bullying that was directly connected to my having a micropenis.  As a sophomore in high school I was depantsed at the pool by three bullies when I got an unwanted erection. They lifted me up and held my arms behind me to prevent me from covering my erection so the entire PE class present saw what happened.  The coach had left the pool area when it happened. While the three boys were penalized, the damage was done any my “secret” became known through out the school before the end of the day.  The teasing commenced immediately and was unrelenting.  Even my mother got calls from some friends who had heard about the incident (and my condition).  My mother reacted in anger at me that somehow I was responsible for the situation (and her subsequent embarrassment).  No empathy there.  I was depantsed three more times before I graduated from high school and it was clear to me why I was being targeted.

I was on the swim team and during a competition with a neighboring town, discovered that two of the players from that town recognized me as the guy with the “baby dick” which got shouted as I started my event.  So, word had spread.  I felt like a pariah.

Numerous scientific studies have suggested time and again that for the majority of women in the western world, tiny penises are simply undesirable. I am 28 and have had just only three sexual experiences (through personal choice) with women, two of which were very humiliating, to say the least.

In high school, my first consensual sexual encounter was with a boy named Billy.  I was 13 and he was 15.  He was interested in anal sex, and wanted to top me.  I was willing to bottom despite the fact that he was very well endowed.  He did tease me about my micropenis, but seemed to accept it.  I was not prepared for how painful the experience of bottoming would be, but he continued to be interested in me, and treated me well (we even kissed) so I was willing to continue to have sex with him as a bottom.  I fell in love.  Then he disclosed to his homophobic older brother that we had been having sex and that put an end to our relationship.  His brother let me know (rather violently) that I was to stay away from Billy or he would castrate and kill me. Billy, who had a black eye, never spoke to me again.

My first sexual encounter with a woman happened during my Junior year in high school.  She was a sophomore and I was a Junior. When I undressed I could tell she was “shocked” even though she was a virgin and had never seen a man naked.  She has seen photographs of naked men, and she had a brother in college.   She was well pleased with my digital and oral skills, and actually squirted into my mouth (something I didn’t even know was a “thing” that might happen). Unfortunately when I attempted to penetrate her, my condom slipped off, and my orgasm was triggered prematurely as I was trying to thrust into her.   She tried to push me off of her as I locked up and started squirting, and was furious that I had ejaculated into her vagina.  She said she could feel me ejaculating.  She got up and douched.  I was too embarrassed to speak more than an apology.  I helped pay for her “morning after” pill and discovered that she had disclosed the whole evening, including my premature ejaculation, and condom mishap, to her friends.

As a freshman in college I encountered a very attractive university student who seemed to be attracted to me. When I stripped, she stared at my micropenis, giggled, and put her hand to her mouth, muttering simply "OK" in a tone that suggested she was taken aback. When it came to actually performing, first I found that the condom wouldn’t stay on, but more frustratingly, my micropenis kept falling out every time I tried to penetrate her. She actually asked the traditional joke question, "Is it in?" mistaking my penis for my finger.  I wanted to die. It was clear that she was getting nothing out of the experience. I genuinely tried my best to make her happy via oral sex, but she didn't orgasm or enjoy that either.   I suspect her encounter with my penis through a wet blanket over the whole experience. When at last I finally thought I was making her content, she suddenly huffed in an annoyed way and got up, saying she needed to use the restroom. And that was the end of it.

I can only imagine the level of disappointment and frustration she must have felt. It must have been a horrendous experience for her.

I decided after that to become a master of cunnilingus so that any future women I encountered would be satisfied, if not by my penis, then my oral skills would more than make up for it.  And I did master the art.

While in graduate school at the University of Texas in Austin, I met and married a girl.  We had engaged in some sexual activity before our marriage, so she was aware of my micropenis.  However our marriage was short lived when I discovered she had been having sex with my then best friend.  When I confronted her with her lack of fidelity, she blamed my shortcomings as a lover and told me that my micropenis disgusted her.

Since that time I have mainly had sexual experiences with gay men, though I had a threesome with a woman that went very well.

Aside from personal experiences, the media doesn’t help my self-esteem either.  Men with small penis are an ongoing source of amusement in TV shows and movies.  I noticed that penis shaming was mostly reserved for villains and comic sidekicks who were never taken seriously.  There are more TV shows with “little dick jokes” than shows that don’t have them.   No shows make fun of women’s breast size, but targeting men with small penises as a source of humor seems to be socially acceptable.  All that tells me that the writers don’t really care if men with small penises are offended or hurt.

The way the media treats the body-shaming of men compared to the body-shaming of women is wildly different. When Donald Trump makes questionable comments about the looks of women, he rightly causes outrage. Lists and videos decrying his sexist remarks have gone viral. Yet when a naked model of Trump with a micropenis was displayed in public in New York City, it was treated like a punch line rather than an attack. Some publications even called it a wonderful piece of art. Hundreds of Americans now have selfies of them laughing at Trump and his micropenis. We defend Heidi Cruz and Megyn Kelly, but where are the people defending small penises?  I am no Trump supporter, but targeting him because of his small penis seems wrong.

GUYS WITH MICROPENISES KNOW THEY ARE NOT WELL-ENDOWED, THEY DON’T NEED REMINDING OF IT.

From my experience (having read hundreds of articles, forum posts, videos, and having spoken to hundreds of men and women online), it feels safe to say that the overwhelming majority of sexual partners aren't thrilled about the prospect of sex with micropenises. And if we don’t accept that these views are likely the majority, then we are never going to challenge this blatant discrimination.

I would like to ask people to think about this: If you are attracted to somebody enough to ask them to bed, and if the guy is kind to you, is it fair to write him off based on size alone?

So what do I plan to do about my love life?

Luckily I am bisexual and enjoy the company of men as well as women. I fear that straight men with the micropenis condition suffer worse shame than men in the gay community.  Let me be clear, a great many gay men are “size queens” and I have been rejected by more than a few gay men, but now that so many men can meet on line I have been able to meet men who actually “prefer” men with small dicks and so they are not surprised by what I have to offer when we meet.  Many of them enjoy SPH (Small Penis Humiliation), but in my life I have adapted to being the subject of humor and, in some cases, can even find that sexually arousing.

So the answer to that question is “nothing”. I try to focus my life on my work, my writing, working out, outdoors activities, sports, and other subjects that interest me. If I started to look for love, it would just make me feel down, and I already struggle with depression and anxiety secretly. I don’t need the humiliation and hurt that looking for love would bring me. Sure, everybody gets rejected, but usually for less hurtful reasons.  As a bottom, many men don’t care how well I am hung.  Instead they care about how I make them feel when they fuck me, and I have learned to be a power bottom.

Guys with micropenises know we are not well-endowed, we don’t need to be reminded of it. If I’m attracted to a sexual partner, then what they have in their pants doesn’t matter to me; I care more about what that partner has in his/her heart.  My extreme self-consciousness about my body makes me feel like everyone else's opinion must be right, that there is something wrong with my size. I just wish people could look past it, so I could too.  Because intellectually I know my size is just a variation.

I try to look at it this way.  Not everyone is attracted to red hair, or freckles, or blue eyes, or black skin, or hairy chests.   People are attracted to differing qualities.  As long as I can find some people who are interested in  the qualities I possess, and are also interested n me personally, than I am gratified.

[loudsuitlover]

Doctor Harry XIX. Cuarto movimiento: La realidad

A/N: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

Preview

“You take off your clothes.” He whispers. “If you’re brave enough to wear that around me, you should be brave enough to undress yourself in front of me.” He smirks.

My eyebrows raise on my forehead and I give him a little smirk. He chuckles.

“D’you want a show?”

He grins as he nods, resting his back on the couch.

“And what do I get in return?”

“Oh, you’ll find out after the show.”

BLUE’S POV

Coco and I are late. When we enter the café, I tell the waitress Olivia’s name and she leads us to our table. The three of them are already sitting on the table and Ollie smiles relieved at our presence. She might be really hungry or maybe she just doesn’t know what to do about Marie and Jason.

They had a fight the other day. Apparently, it had to do with David Dick. Marie said something bad about it, also known as the truth, but Jason said she shouldn’t be talking about him to people who didn’t even known them. I have stayed out of this. No one has asked for my opinion either, thank God, so I’m just on backstage, waiting for them to make up.

The second Coco and I sit down, Ollie waves the waitress. She tells us we can think what we want while they order but I already know what I want anyway. A strawberry milkshake and the Nutella croissant. Coco orders a waffle and a vanilla milkshake and Marie gets surprised at our quickness. I just smile at her.

I tell them about the wedding while we eat and they keep swooning and making comments that make me blush. I show them the hundreds of pictures we got, for his mum and his cousin Laura had been stealing shots at us and also the photographer of the wedding thought it important to get pictures of the bride’s brother.

“Jesus Christ, he looked good.” Ollie says.

I laugh and she gives me a naughty smile.

“So do you, of course.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“No, seriously, Blue” Coco insists “you looked like a movie star.”

I don’t know how many times Coco’s seen the photos but she’s always been the supportive sister and ever since she’s in love, it’s just been something else. She’s so happy she has enough bliss to give the rest of us.

“Can you believe” Ollie says when she comes back from the loo “that I’ve forgotten to put on knickers?”

“What do you mean you’ve forgotten?” Coco laughs.

“I’m just not wearing any.” She shrugs.

“And you realize now?”

“When I went to the loo.”

Marie shakes her head with a smile and I chuckle at my friend’s careless being.

“Yeah and she would have been terribly late if I hadn’t called her.” Marie says. “It looks like she had a busy night with Mario.”

Olivia smiles.

“Right, because Adam and you were surely asleep at 9 pm.”

Jason laughs out loud.

“So Indie, what time did you go to bed last night?” He wiggles his eyebrows.

“Actually, pretty early. I think it was like 10 pm and I slept alone. In my own bed.”

“Oh, did Harry have work?”

“No” I chuckle “he was home, I guess. We don’t spend every minute together, you know?”

JJ shrugs.

“If I were with a man who could pull off a white fucking suit like Harry, I know I would be with him every minute.”

Then it’s me who shakes my head and laughs.

We haven’t been out all together since last week when we went shopping and even then, Jason wasn’t there so it feels like ages that we don’t just chat around and have something sweet together.

Marie tells us about her grandparent’s golden wedding too and we all drool over the pictures because they look so adorable.

“¡Madre mía, Marie!” My sister says. “You look so good too! Look at that red dress! Where was the red carpet, madam?”

Marie blushes and giggles and Jason smiles tenderly at my sister. I see the way Olivia’s looking at her, with her teasing smile, and I know Coco’s in for some Olivia jokes.

“Guido must be good.”

Coco’s confused eyes drift to Olivia’s.

“Or have a huge dick.”

My sister clicks her tongue and shakes her head giving our crazy friend a look but she just smiles.

“If it has anything to do with genetics” she starts “that should be the case.”

We all laugh and my sister’s cheeks tinge pink.

“Oh my God, it is!” Jason celebrates.

He seems so happy. He’s been laughing and joking around and even though sometimes he still gets a little into his own head, I reckon he’s gotta have to deal with a lot of thinking these next months. I remember when Javier and I broke up, it was like that for me too. Yet that’s not necessarily a bad thing.

I wish him and Marie would make up. They are good for one another. They complement each other like sweet and sour and I know Marie’s sorry. I can tell by the way she looks at him.

After breakfast, the five of us go shopping. I’m not a big fan of shopping, to be honest, I get headaches and hate trying clothes on but these guys love it so that’s what we’ll do. Coco and Ollie are a very dangerous duo. If it wasn’t for the rest of us, they’d be in debt by now.

They make Jason walk into Agent Provocateur even though he tries to remind us that he’s actually bisexual and can’t really give his opinion on this without getting killed.

“You can keep saying you’re bisexual, you know? But you’re gay, pal.” Olivia says.

“Again, the fact that I am not sexually attracted to you does not make me gay.” Jason smirks.

“No, I know, it’s the fact that you always look at guys.”

“I look at girls too. I just don’t tell you about it.”  

“And who exactly would kill you?” I tease him, changing Olivia’s crusade on making him gay. “Mario and Adam are teddy bears, Guido’s shorter than you and Harry’s not jealous.”

He laughs.

“D’you think Harry wouldn’t mind if I saw you in lingerie?”

“I don’t think so, no.”

Jason smirks. I know it might be hard for him to understand but he is a jealous guy. He knows that, we all do. But Harry isn’t or if he is he handles it like a master and I think that’s the most beautiful thing he could do for me. I never understood why my friends in high school thought when their boyfriends acted like cavemen was something to be happy about. I mean I never really understood that well-trodden thought “he’s jealous because he loves me.” No. “He deals with his own jealousy and lets me be free because he loves me.” That’s how I see it.

“Should we get the same set?” Ollie asks Coco. “You know, in order to surprise the Matteoti brothers.”

My sister blushes and giggles and Olivia grins.

“I hope to God they don’t talk about that to each other.”

Olivia giggles.

“I used to think every man did but I actually think Mario doesn’t.”

“And you’re offended by that?” I offer.

Jason walks towards us swaying his hips like Beyoncé placing a bra over his sweater and the knickers over his jeans and Coco laughs and rushes to his side to stop him. The two of them go to the “funny section” where the crazy lingerie sets are.

I see my sister laughing at whatever it is that crazy Jason is telling her about the outfits.

“No, I just don’t know how he’s still with me.” Ollie says.

I frown as I turn to look at her.

“Hey, guys, do you like these ones?” Marie shows us a red lace crazy knickers with holes where fabric should be.

“I have no idea how you put those on.” Ollie shrugs.

“What do you mean?” I interrupt her.

“I genuinely don’t know with these many holes, it’s-”

“No, I mean about Mario.”

“What about him?” Marie asks.

“She just said she doesn’t know why he’s still with her.”

“What?” Marie frowns.

We both look at Ollie, whose blue-grey eyes are busy with the underwear she’s holding.

“I just don’t know how someone that’s… such a saint can be with me.”

I look at Marie but she just shrugs and gives me her best pursed lips.

“I mean… You guys are very different but that doesn’t mean anything.”

“I like him.” Olivia confesses. “I really do, what I don’t like is to constantly feel like I’m waiting for the moment he realizes he doesn’t want to be with me.”

“Why do you say that?” Marie frowns. “I think it’s rather obvious that he’s crazy about you.”

“Yeah,” Ollie tilts her neck “now.”

“You are wonderful and it might not work out but that’s that. Every single relationship might not work out but that’s when you show you’re brave. If you get hurt, well, here we are for chocolate ice-cream or popcorn and movies.”

“Thank you,” she chuckles “but that’s not even what I meant. You guys know I’ve… Fucked around.”

“So?”

“Guys don’t like to thrust their dicks in a public hole.”

Her words freeze my blood. I hate that she thinks so low of herself and I hate society for putting that idea on her mind. I can’t pretend I understand her and I don’t know what I would think if I were her so as much as I want to tell her that’s silly, it might not be. I mean it certainly isn’t if it’s something she really thinks but also, I feel bad and I feel bad because I have been a part of that thought, unconsciously but I have.

I told Harry I didn’t want to be another notch on his belt. Isn’t that the same thing? Only, with men. But didn’t I somehow make him less worth it just because he had been with a lot of girls?

“Don’t you ever speak that way about yourself again.” Marie threatens her.

I am taken aback by her reaction but I let protective Marie take the lead her. I am foolishly speechless.

“I won’t even comment on how degrading and sexist the “public hole” thing is because what’s important here is that you are not a hole, Ollie, for goodness’ sake. Do you really think Mario sees you like that?”

“This is not about Mario.” Olivia defends him.

“Still, don’t insult him by thinking so little of him.”

“And don’t think so little of yourself either, Ollie.” I add. “Fighting sexism starts with oneself, don’t be sexist to yourself, let yourself be free, yeah? And just for the record, if Mario ever left you, it’s clearly his lost.”

“So clearly.” Marie adds.

Olivia just chuckles and wraps her arms around both our shoulders, pulling us into a hug in the middle of the underwear store.

I want to tell her to talk to Mario, to let him in and let him hear how she feels and what she thinks so he can have a chance at telling her the same things about himself but I couldn’t bring myself to be such a hypocrite. How could I tell my friends to talk to their boyfriends when I never do that with Harry?

I mean, we’re getting better or at least I think we are but there are still so many things to work on. I don’t want to hurt him and that means I don’t ever want to talk to him like I usually do. I’ve been thinking so hard about it, since that day he insulted me when we were having dinner at Bellamond. It sounded so terrible and it made me feel so little and unwanted and stupid so to think that’s how he’s felt every time I’ve done it makes me very angry with myself.

I’ve already seen how easy it really is to talk to him. I did at Marie’s house after I said those terrible things to him and he hasn’t made a big deal of it. So then I don’t understand why it is so hard for me to talk to him about what I think, how I feel and what I want… Because the truth is- I want him. He already knows that, I think, but I don’t think he knows how I really feel about him.

I would like to maybe text him right now and tell him I miss him, because it’s true, I do. I’ve barely seen him this week because he went on a congress from Monday to Wednesday and after that we’ve both been busy but I don’t know what’s holding me back. Am I really that scared of rejection?

I can’t get our fight on Marie’s house of my head. I think he let me know that night that he was addicted to me but he didn’t mean it like a good thing. He was sad that I was. I keep thinking lately… Did Javier really break that much?

What if that relationship has turned me into an abuser? I can’t believe I called Harry a junkie. I just… And then what? Then I cried so he would forgive me? I mean that’s what they do. Am I toxic to him?

I know ever since Dylan died I haven’t really been myself. I don’t even like the person that he left behind. I have felt… Empty and cold and heartless, I really have but… That has changed now. It has changed. But what if it has turned me into some sort of monster? What if I’m not capable of loving?

Out of all the people in the world who doesn’t deserve that, Harry’s the one who least deserves any of that.

“You can tell me.” Jason says.

We’re both sitting down on two velvety armchairs as the girls try things on. I give him a look.

“Whatever is troubling you, you can tell me.”

I sigh.

“Do you think I’m cold?” My eyes investigate his so he can’t lie.

“How do you mean?” His eyes narrow.

“I mean… Do you think… Do I remind you of David?”

“Of David?” He almost stands up from his chair as he frowns and turns to look at me. “You? Of course not! You’re nothing like David!”

“Well, you don’t know the way I treat Harry…”

Jason straightens his back before he sighs.

“Well, why don’t you tell me what you did so I can decide?”

“Because I’m embarrassed.” I shrug.

“You’re sorry, that’s what you are, which means you’re nothing like David.”

“What if I am? It’s not enough with being sorry, is it? The thing is never doing it again and I keep hurting him.”

“How?”

“I… I speak very harshly to him sometimes and I tell him terrible things… I… I don’t want to hurt him, you know? He’s become someone important to me, someone I care about. I would never hurt him and yet I keep doing just that and I don’t even know why.”

I look away from him and Jason sighs again.

“We accept the love we think we deserve.”

I tilt my neck to look back at him the moment he quotes The Perks of Being a Wallflower. He’s stern and understanding. I frown, I don’t know what the fuck does that have to do with anything of this but I listen because I love this guy more than I love most people.

“Indie” He reaches for my hand “is it possible that you do that when you feel like he’s getting too close?”

I look away. I don’t think it matters why I do it. I don’t think it would have hurt less that I had known the reason why Javier had me tied up on the bed. And what if the reason doesn’t have a solution? I mean what if the reason is my subconscious is trying to put him away from Dylan’s place? What do I do about that?  

“Indie, I can’t pretend I understand what it’s like to lose somebody you love as much as you loved Dylan-”

“I love Dylan.” I correct him.

“You love Dylan, sorry. But… Dylan… I mean… D’you think he would want you to be lonely?”

I don’t answer him nor do I look into his eyes that investigate me.

“Put on his shoes.” He whispers. “Imagine the story the other way, imagine you were him and he was yourself. What would you want for him?”

I let his words take me to that parallel world sometimes I wished it was the real one. If I had died that night, then Dylan would be here and if angels existed then I would be the one for him and I would look after him and protect him from whatever cloud angels get on the sky. But what if I saw him with another woman? What if I heard the same things he said to me said to her? What if he loved her more than he loved me? What would I be then?

I remember my therapist trying to sow that idea in my head- that we have to let go, that no person can live in the past forever, and that letting go doesn’t mean disrespecting. I wonder where’s the balance, I wonder if someday I’ll be able to find a way to feel good without feeling like I’ve forgotten all about him. But I know what I would want if I had been the one dead that night.

“I would want him to be loved.”

I feel tears on my lacrimal and Jason’s hand wraps around my arm and gently squeezes me.

“I know that’s what he would want to.” He whispers.

“I haven’t been able to go to his grave once.” I whisper. “I think if I could… Talk to him… Maybe let him now, I love him and I always will but… I think I love someone else.”

I hear Jason taking a deep breath and only then I realize what I just said. I tilt my neck so I can see his face. I don’t know what I’m expecting neither do I know why I’m expecting him to judge me. But he just smiles.

“I already knew that. Your face lightens up when he’s around or when someone talks about him. I saw that on Marie’s house the other weekend.”

I take a deep breath and give up. He’s right.

“Don’t worry, it’s the same for him. He treated you like a queen and was always looking after you and I think you guys understand each other pretty well.”

“We understand each other? We fight like cat and dog.”

“The way I see it, you’ve had your misunderstandings but you’ve always figured it out. D’you think any other person would have stick around long enough for you to figure each other out? And I’m not talking just about him, I mean, he’s got some issues too.” He frowns.

I finally chuckle. He does have some issues but they don’t come close to all the other good things he has.

“You know, I’m happy you got him. It makes it easier for me to finally do what I’ve always wanted.” He smiles.

“What is that?”

“The States.”

My mouth shuts. My lips pursed and I want to cry.

“The States? You’re leaving too?”

First Ollie and now him. No, no, no, there’s no way Marie and I are going to overcome this. They can’t leave; he can’t leave. I need him. My pulse accelerates. I never thought I was going to be losing my best friends so fast. He smirks and nods his head.

“I need it, Indie. I didn’t go because of David and he… He treated me like shit throughout the entire relationship and I didn’t lose you guys because you are fucking angels from another planet but I think I just need to go away for some time, figure myself out, do what I want for a change.”

I take a deep breath. I really need to stop being so selfish. I don’t even know how long for he’s planning on leaving but the least thing I can do as a decent friend is to support him not matter what. I’ll miss him, sure, but I won’t lose him just because he goes to another continent. He’d have to change his name and go to a secret location for me to lose him.

“If that’s what you want and what you think you need, I’m all in.” I smile. “I’m gonna fucking miss you but I’m happy that you’re doing your thing. I hope you know, even when you were with David, you never changed the person you really are and I think that says a lot about you. What happened to you was not your fault, it was his, and it could have happened to anyone. God knows we both know how they find the way to get into your mind. but you’ve always been more than what happened to you.”

He frowns despite his smile and I can tell that’s his way to try and hold back the tears. He wipes the ones that scape out before he holds my hand.

“I fucking love you.”

“I love you too.”

“And you call me dramatic but look at what speech you gave for three months that I’m leaving.”

“You’re leaving for three months?” I frown and he laughs. “Then why would you say it like that? I thought you were leaving for good.”

He laughs.

“And miss your wedding and your pregnancy with Harry’s babies? Never.”

“Hey, hop off the horse!” We both chuckle.

“Just be honest with him, Indie.” He tilts his neck. “You’ve got him here” he flexes his fingers to gesture a handful and taps a finger on it “and here” he taps a finger on his chest where his heart is and I smile. “Now, why don’t you get some sexy ass lingerie for him?” He wriggles his eyebrows. “The straight guy in me can help you decide.”

“You’re on.” I smile.

I try on about five of them. The girls are the judges but they all know I’ll end up choosing whatever I like. I never listen to advices when it comes about clothes. I know what I like and what I don’t and that’s that.

I do have a thing for underwear. It’s the only thing I actually enjoy buying so most of my underwear is cute and lace or silk or nice soft cotton but I do get excited at the idea of surprising Harry with something sexier than usual.

Maybe high stockings would do, I could wear a skirt and underneath it some high stockings hooked up to the waist of a lace bodysuit or something like that. I find a black lace one almost see through except from some parts strategically covered with the black flowery pattern, the cut between my legs and my nipples. The straps are silk and from the one around my waist, the two clasps for the stockings fall on my thighs. I love it.

After getting our underwear and going go with JJ to the male section of Gucci and Yves Saint Laurent, we finally sit down on a terrace surrounded by bags and have a drink. I order a Martini because I guess I’m feeling fancy after all and my friends order a sort of fancy cocktail each, except from Coco that goes with a beer. Her and Ollie are the ones who look fancier by far, Marie does too but in a way that lets you know she’s the good girl in the family, whereas Ollie looks like the one who’s always late to family meetings and Coco looks straight out of a magazine and yet there she is with a beer on her hand not caring about the contrast one bit.

In front of the terrace, there’s an Italian restaurant where there are two guys at the door, opening them for the clients. I have caught them staring at me more than once but every time I look the look away. I’m afraid I even have a boob out with all the staring but when I look down I realize I don’t. Jason’s sitting next to me and I wonder whether he’s noticed too or I’m just being paranoid. I look up at them and one of them look to the floor. Jason laughs.

“Geez, they could get a photo.” Jason says.

Alright, I’m not crazy.

“You’ve noticed too?”

“They haven’t taken their eyes off you since you sat down.” He chuckles. “And I’m sitting right here, I could be your boyfriend for all they know.”

Olivia tilts her neck and turns her head around being the blatant bitch she is before she gives me a smile.

“Well, they can keep trying, they’re trying to get in the place of an Armani underwear model.”

I roll my eyes and so does Marie. My eyes drift to her.

“You’re so exaggerated.”

“He could be one.” I defend him.

My friends and sister giggle and I blush but join in. It’s true, he could really be one and I miss him and want to see him.

Ollie’s call coincides with the moment Jason gets up from our table to go to the toilet and Marie gives my sister a smile.

“Coco, how are things with Guido? Are you happy?”

“Oh, I’m very happy.” She smiles. “I’ve never had this before, you know? Knowing my feelings are reciprocated. It just feels great.”

“Oh, I’m happy to hear that. You deserve someone like that.”

“So do you.” I tell Marie. “How’s everything with Adam?”

“He’s a dream.” Marie shakes her head. “I do worry that everything is too good.”

“Why?”

“Well, he’s so gentle and loving and caring… I keep thinking when it is going to end.”

“Why would it end? I mean, obviously there’s always like the first few months where everything is just perfect and all that and after that there’s more comfort and less romanticism but… Don’t worry about that. It’ll come naturally.”

“See? But that’s what I don’t want! I don’t want him to walk in the bathroom while I’m peeing or for him to see me with my hair on a towel and a face mask on.”

Coco giggles.

“Well, maybe not now, but it’ll eventually happen if you guys stay together for long enough.”

She looks away from us and takes a deep breath before she speaks.

“The other day he told me to leave some things at his place.” She all but whispers as if it was some sort of secret. “Well, he got micellar water even though he didn’t know what that was because I told him once that I couldn’t stay over at his house because I didn’t have my micellar water to wash my face.”

“Aw.” Coco rests a hand on her chest and Marie’s lips pursed.

I giggle.

“And why is that a bad thing?”

“It’s not a bad thing.” She shakes her head. “It’s just… Are we not moving too fast?”

“I mean he asked you to leave stuff at his house because you need stuff. It’s not like he asked you to move in. I stay over at Harry’s all the time.”

“Don’t you think I’ll freak him out when he realizes I’m a high maintenance girl?”

“I mean, Marie” Coco’s sweet tone makes my friend look at her “I think he might have an idea already?”

“I mean” I giggle “he’s been to your house.”

“Yeah, but my skincare is all carefully kept in the bathroom cabinet.”

“Well” I smile “I don’t think that’ll be a deal breaker.”

She sighs.

“Maybe some day you can let him in the bathroom while you do your skincare routine. I do not think he’s gonna be faced by that.”

Her brown, good-girl’s eyes investigate mine whilst she considers my idea. I can’t believe she actually think that would be a problem. Adam is crazy about him. I don’t think there’s anything she can say that would make him not want her.

Jason comes back before Ollie does but it doesn’t take her long to stand next to our table.

“Guys, this was a very lovely day” she starts “but I won’t lie to you. Mario just called me, he said he had a hard day at the hospital today and I want to cheer him up with incredible sex and cuddles so-”

“We did not need to know about the incredible sex.” Marie tells her but Ollie just smiles.

“And of course you can leave to be with your lover, Ollie, no need to explain anything to us.”

“Right.” She smiles. “Then see you, guys.”

With that she picks up her uncountable bags and leaves and Marie bites her bottom lip.

“I think I’m gonna leave too, guys. I have a skincare routine to share with someone special.” She smiles at Coco and me and we both laugh.

“What?” Jason chuckles looking at both Coco and me. “I’m kind of tired too, girls. Your shopping gave me a headache.”

“I’m pretty sure you bought more stuff than me.” I reprimand him but he just rolls his eyes.

“Anyway, I love you all. See you.”

Coco and I walk together to her car and on the way there we both chat about how the group has changed in just a few months. It’s like we’ve grown up more in this year than we have in the last five. Jason went out of a terrible relationship and came out being stronger and more confident than ever and he’s going to the States for that internship he wanted; Ollie’s finally moved on from Jack and her inner crisis and seems to be done with being insecure and afraid of love; lovely Marie found her knight in shinning armour and is living the dream; and even Coco and me left the past behind and meet someone great.

I might miss the way things used to be because they’ve been like that for a long time but… I think they’re only getting better.

I dare to do it, if Marie’s going to show her skincare routine to Adam and Mario called Olivia because he had a hard day and needed comfort, I can tell him.

Indie: Miss you x

I rest my phone on my thigh and look out the window trying not to torture myself if he doesn’t answer straight away. He might be busy, he might be asleep even or he might be with his family.

Harry: Fuck, I miss you too

I grin like a kid on Christmas morning. Harry’s typing…

Harry: Are you done with your friends?

Indie: Yes :)

Harry: Can I see you?

Indie: Yes :)

Harry: Bien

I giggle like a teenager and Coco tilts her neck to give me an amused look. She’s not used to it.

“Do I drive you home or directly to Harry’s?”

“Do you have plans?”

“I wanna go home to shower but I’m going out with Guido afterwards.”

“Are you taking the car?”

“Yes.”

“Do you mind dropping me at Harry’s then? So I can shower and stuff before too.”

“Sure, no problem.”

“Awesome. Thank you.”

Harry: Did you have dinner?

Indie: Yes.

Indie: Are you at home?

Harry: Yes, I am. Are you coming?

Indie: Are you inviting me?

Harry: You’re always invited, love.

Indie: Then how about I visit you in an hour?

Harry: Can’t wait xxx 

After the shower, I butter my body with my strawberry and vanilla body lotion and put on my new lingerie set before I put on some lip balm and mascara. I put on a terracotta colour soft woollen sweater and a high waist black denim mini skirt that covers my stocking so they look like normal tights.

I’m excited to see Harry but on the way to his apartment while Coco drives and tells me about some of Guido’s jokes that had her laughing last time they saw each other, the excitement turns into nervousness.

Will he think this is too much? Will he find it funny? Because I would be mortified if he does and after all, this is not a special occasion. It’s just a random Friday night. Oh, God, he might think I’m crazy.

As I stand on the lift to his apartment, my sister’s compliment on my outfit gives me some nerve. I mean it’s just Harry. If he finds it funny or thinks it’s too much, I can always play it cool and pretend it was a joke all along.

He’s waiting by the door with a big smile when the lift doors opened and I make my way towards him keeping both hands on my brown jacket. He takes it and places it on the couch before we make our way towards his living room.

“Would you like anything to drink?” He offers.

“Um, maybe a cup of tea?”

He smiles amused.

“I was thinking you were going to say something alcoholic because it’s a Friday after all but you always surprise me, Blue.”

I chuckle.

“How was your day?”

“Good.” He nods his head as he turns the kettle on and takes two cups from the cupboard. “I had lunch with my mum. She asked me about you.” He gives me a smile that melts me. “How was yours?”

“Good too. We had coffee and then went shopping until we were hungry so we had a dinner and then a drink.”

“Sounds like torture to me.”

I laugh at his comment.

“That is not true. I’ve seen your closet, you’re into fashion.”

He smiles dimply because he knows I’ve caught him. God, I have seen him smile countless times in the last five months but still it makes my heart skips a beat. I approach him when he’s giving me his back checking on the water in the kettle and when he turns his head for he noticed my presence, I’m inches away from him. He wraps his arms around me and understands what I want so he leans down and kisses me. I let my tongue tell him how much I missed him and he hums as it pushes between his lips and caresses his. His hands find my ass and I moan against his mouth but the kiss is sweet and tender and we only pull apart when the kettle whistles.

We sit down on the couch and have our cups of tea as he tells me more about his lunch with his mum and I tell him more about my day. He also tells me about his congress and about an interesting case he had this week and I realize then how easy it is to talk to him. I didn’t realize there were these many things I wanted to tell him until I had him in front of me.

He’s been very handsy too and I’m sure so have I even if I don’t notice, but his hands have never left my legs and I’ve been a little nervous that he might move them a little higher and realize what I’m wearing but so far, he’s just been respectfully caressing my knee or calves.

“How is Jason doing?” He asks.

I find it so sweet that he asks about my friends.

“He’s better. Yeah, I think he’s doing good. He’s going to the States though.” My hand finds its bicep as I try to catch his undivided attention even though I already have it.

“What do you mean he’s going to the States?”

“Well, it’s only for three months.” I turn the drama off a little. “It’s this internship he got while he was with David Dick, he said no because David wanted him to stay but apparently he’s gotten a second chance and he said yes this time.”

“Wow, that’s great. Your friends are as nerdy as you.” He giggles.

“I’m not going anywhere though.”

“Yeah, thank God.”

He grins and his hands find my hips before he pulls me closer until I’m straddling him. He captures my lips with his in a long peck. Still, somehow, he hasn’t seen my stockings. I peck his lips again.

“Nah, I’m kidding, I would be very happy for you if you were going abroad for an internship or something too. You know that, right?”

I nod my head.

“I would miss you a lot though.” I confess and he grins.

“I would miss you too.”

I kiss him again and he kisses me back in a long, loving kiss until I pull away.

“I haven’t asked you: what did you get today?”

I lick my lips and feel my cheeks heating up. I’m sure when women wear these things, they don’t feel so shy. Plus, I have no reasons to feel shy when all Harry’s done is worship my body. I don’t know why I’m even doubting myself. He’s going to love it.

“I can show you.” I whisper.

I can feel his heartbeat accelerating under my hand and smile. Every doubt I’ve ever had flees my mind as I grab a handful of my sweater over my belly and pull from it so as to get it out of the hem of my skirt. His green eyes drop to my hand and his hands adjust to my hips over him. He swallows.

When my sweater springs free from my skirt, I just pull it up so he can see my lingerie bodysuit over my belly and his fingers sink of my hips as his lips part.

“Fuck me.” He whispers.

My lips curl up into a grin as his eyes search mine.

“You perfectly know what you do to me.”

His hand squeezes my hip once and I almost moan but then he takes his hands off me and rests them on the couch next to his hips.

“Well, do you want to see it or not?” I whisper.

He nods his head but doesn’t say a word. His eyes challenge me.

“You take off your clothes.” He whispers. “If you’re brave enough to wear that around me, you should be brave enough to undress yourself in front of me.” He smirks.

My eyebrows raise on my forehead and I give him a little smirk. He chuckles.

“D’you want a show?”

He grins as he nods, resting his back on the couch.

“And what do I get in return?”

“Oh, you’ll find out after the show.”

His green eyes, playful and filled on lust, narrow and this time it’s my pulse that accelerates. Placing my hands on his shoulders, I rest my weight on him as I get up from his lap and find my phone still on my purse. I go on Spotify and play Love Is A Bitch by Two Feet and hand him the phone so he can hear the song better. His grin turns nervous.

I have never done this before and I have no idea of how to dance for an striptease but here goes nothing. I sway my hips slowly much like I do when I’m fucking him because I already know he likes it from the times we have danced together. His eyes are set on me but instead of feeling nervous, I feel sexy and hot and lucky that he’s looking at me like that.

I turn around and give him my back before I bend over sticking my ass in the air to get my shoes off. Barefoot, I turn around and unbutton and unzip my skirt pushing it down my legs and letting him see my mid-thigh stockings. The corners of his lips curl up and he silently mouths fuck me.

Funny, I’m thinking the same thing. I caress myself like I’d like him to do, starting with the sides of my thighs and my hips and then my belly and my flanks, pulling my sweater up. I cup my own breasts under the sweater and don’t miss the way his Adam’s apple bops as he swallows. Still swaying slowly to the music, I grab the hem of my sweater and take it off dropping it on the floor.

I stand before him on my lingerie and feel fire burning inside me as his eyes roam my body up and down. He’s shifted his position on the couch but I can intuit the bulge between his legs.

“Do you want me to go on?” I whisper.

He shakes his head.

“Come here.”

I do as I’m told and his touch cuts my breathing halfway. His hand sticks to the exposed skin on my thigh and lustfully moves up to my hip where he squeezes.

“You must be fake.” He almost chuckles and I do.

“I’m real” I rest one knee on the couch next to his thigh and resting my hands on his shoulders, I straddle him “and yours.”

“Fuck.”

His fingertips press on the back of my neck and our mouths find each other with greed. The way he’s looked at me and the way he’s touched me and how hard I can now feel him against the inner side of my thigh drives me crazy and I push my tongue inside his mouth hungrily. My eagerness takes him by surprise but he’s just as eager as I am judging by the strength of his tongue against mine and the squeezes of his hands on my flesh. He pulls away but my mouth follows his blindly.

“Calm down, love” he chuckles against my lips “we’ve got all night. Let me enjoy you.”

I pout but instead of getting another kiss, he grins. I can’t say I’m disappointed with the outcome of my pouting. I love that he still looks like a child when he grins even when he’s acting so much like a man, full of lust and need.

“How did I do?”

Grinning, he takes my hand and lets me feel his hard on. It excites me to the point that my walls clench. He’s so hard and so hot… I want him inside me now. No, I don’t want him, I need him.

“I had never done that before.” I confess.

“Are you serious?”

I nod timidly and he sighs.

“You’re a natural then. That was the hottest thing I have ever seen and this thing…” His fingers caress my bodysuit “fucking hell, Blue, I’m gonna be dreaming about this.”

I laugh.

“Now you have to show me what I get for it.”

He grins and licks his lips as he tilts his neck.

“Well, when did the show end? You did ask me if I wanted you to go on.”

“And you said no.” I frown.

“Because I don’t want you to take this off just yet.” His tongue licks my lips like a cat. “But… If you want, I would love to watch you first.”

“Watch me?” I frown. “Doing what?”

He grins. He takes my hand in his and brings them both to my sex making me cup my dripping lips myself. I breathe in through my nose. He’s so close to me and he’s smiling in the way that turns my insides into jelly and I’m so wet and so needy… I need some relief now.

“I want you to touch yourself for me, baby.”

“You mean… Right here on top of you?”

He nods slowly but his fingers move over mine and make me caress myself. He does that a few more times before he removes his hand and lets me work alone. I keep doing what he was doing before and press circles on my clit as my eyes set on him. His hands hold my hips to give me more balance and I slip my fingers underneath the soaked fabric. His eyes move from the place I’m touching to my eyes and stop at my breasts.

“Fuck…” He whispers. “How does it feel, baby?”

I slip a single finger inside before I get another one.

“It feels better when you do it.” I confess.

He squeezes my hips and pecks my lips.

“I can show you how I do it.” His lips press on the exposed skin over my bra and I feel a current of electricity on my body. “D’you want me to?”

I keep touching myself with lips part, enjoying his kisses and his whispers. I love how his voice turns deeper and raspier when we’re having sex. It drives me crazy.

“Why do you want me to touch myself instead of you?” I whisper.

“Because having you pleasuring yourself on top of me… Fuck, baby… You don’t know how sexy you are.”

I bite on my bottom lip but his thumb pulls from it liberating it. I look into his eyes.

“If you do that, I’m gonna burst.” He smirks. “Do you not touch yourself?”

“Yes, I do.” I move my fingers slowly against my clit because I’d cum already if the rhythm was any faster. “I guess it’s just… I’m nervous.”

“Why? You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to.”

“It’s not that.” I gasp. “I do, I just… I want you.”

He grins and cups my breast on one hand making me moan.

“I’m right here, love. I just want you to cum like this first and then we can do whatever you want. Only if you want though.”

“I do want.” I stop him. “Just show me how you do it.”

He slips his own fingers the fabric of my bodysuit and guides mine.

“You have to start here” he covers the upper side to my clit, the part closer to my belly and presses slow circles “slowly, yeah, like that and don’t be nervous, baby. If you don’t cum on your own, I’ll help you.”

I half laugh half moan and he chuckles. I keep moving my fingers like he told me to do until I find a spot that sends electricity through my body. I start rubbing faster and the feeling is so good I almost don’t notice he removed his fingers.

“That’s right, baby, faster, faster.”

I feel the lower part of my belly tensing up and my nipples hardening and I moan as I relax my neck and throw my head back.

“Now stop.” Harry’s hand covers mine and stops my movement and I frown and give him a death glare that only makes him laugh. “And do it slowly again.”

I let him guide me and move my fingers against my clit watching him watch me. His eyes are fixed on my hand and my pussy and he’s biting his lip. God, this is so hot. I’m horny as hell.

One of his hands move from my hips to my inner thigh and he slips his fingers under the fabric again, slipping two fingers inside me and making me moan out loud.

“Fuck, I just wanted to see how wet you are.”

He moves his fingers slowly in and out of me and between that and my own stimulation on my clit I am afraid I might faint. I bite on my bottom lip again and he pulls from it with his thumb.

“What did I say?” He whispers as his fingers keep moving in and out of me so I bit my lip again so as not to scream. “You’re not really as good of a student as I thought.” He chuckles.

He gets his fingers out of me and I whimper making him chuckle again.

“You do it, baby.”

I curl two fingers inside of me and move them with the rhythm he was using and one of Harry’s hands squeeze my hip. I shut my eyes and gasp.

“Imagine it’s me, love.”

“Oh, God.”

When I open my eyes, I see he’s stroking himself over his jeans and my eyes drop to his bulge.

“You don’t know how much you’re turning me on, baby.”

No, he has no idea how much this is turning me on. I thought this was something only done in porn but this is fucking hot. Having him right here as I pleasure myself, hearing his voice thick with lust and knowing how much watching me is turning him on drives me crazy.

“You’re always so good with me.” He captures my earlobe between his teeth and pulls from it and I moan.

“Touch yourself, H.”

“D’you want me to?” His voice comes out strangled then and I feel the power he gives me burning my skin.

“Yes, like I’m doing.”

I hear his zipper going down and feel him lifting his hips from the couch to take his pants off. My eyes set on his hard length, already leaking precum, shinning and tight, and his fingers wrap around himself.

I try to take this time to focus on what he does to himself so I know how to touch him better next time so I slow the rhythm of my fingers for otherwise I’d finish already. Harry’s mouth attacks the side of my neck so I can no longer see him because my neck tilts back without my consent to grant him better access and he keeps kissing my skin.

“I’m not going to last long watching you, baby.” He whispers.

“Oh, God, I’m very close already, Harry… I fucking… This is so exciting.” I moan.

“Fuck me, keep talking.”

“Oh, Harry… I want you to cum so I can cum too but…” I can tell his pumping accelerates and so do my fingers. “It’s such a shame you’re not on my mouth like last time… You taste so good.”

A guttural sound cuts his breathing halfway and I feel a hot liquid spurt on my thigh. That sends me into overdrive and I moan until my throat stings. Harry’s hands hold my hips as I sigh and try to catch my breath and then I smile at him.

“Stop that or I won’t be able to stop fucking you.”

I laugh softly.

“Then don’t stop.”

He smiles mischievously at me and I know he was hoping to hear that.

“I can’t decide whether I want this off or not.”

He says staring down at my bodysuit and I laugh.

“I’m glad you like it.”

He doesn’t say anything, instead he just smiles before he leans in to capture my lips with his. We kiss intimately for a while and then his hands pull my hips down and he penetrates me slowly. He swallows my moans as he keeps kissing me lustfully but slowly, almost calmly.

His hands hold my ass and he lifts me and sinks me back down so he’s fully controlling the rhythm, a very slow, torturous one that lets me feel every inch of him as he stretches me on his way inside. I feel him so deep too, I don’t think he’s every filled me like this but I love it and I let him known, with moans and bites on his bottom lip.

“You like it slow, baby?”

I hum and nod my head and we kiss each other as if we were the only people in the world. Right now, he is to me.

“Spread your hips wider apart.” He whispers.

I do as I’m told and replace my knees further away from him. His hands hold me in place as he slowly pushes back in and I feel him paving his way through my channel inch by inch until our pubic bones touch and we both gasp.

“Oh, God.”

And we repeat again. He pulls out almost entirely and then sinks in again. He kisses me passionately and I press my body against his as if we could get closer. He captures my bottom lip with his teeth and pulls from it like I normally do with his and when my lip sets free from his prison, we both smile at each other. He fills me again and, in this kiss,, it’s me who pulls from his bottom lip. I have never felt more filled of him and of feelings for him, lust and love bubble and mix together inside my belly and burst in every kiss.

“Fuck, Harry, you’re amazing.”

I hear him giggling.

“Don’t laugh.”

He slaps my ass cheek and I jump a little.

“I’ll laugh if I want to.” He grins.

I smile too.

“You’re right. Don’t stop laughing. I love it when you do” I gasp as he fills me again, he rolls out “And I love your smile, you’re so handsome when you smile” when he fills me again, I tangle my fingers on his hair and pull from it “and your hair, I love your hair and your eyes, when you look at me…”

He shuts me up with a passionate kiss and I hope he understands how I feel about him through this intimate encounter.

“Blue…”

I wait for him to speak but he doesn’t say anything even though his hips don’t stop moving against mine.

“What?” I press him.

“Nothing.”

I would have insisted but his hips attack mine hard and it cuts my breath halfway. I cling onto his shoulders and he keeps thrusting inside me hard and fast. I pull from his hair and listen to our skins clapping together and the wet sounds of our intimate encounter. His hand cups and squeezes my breast and I arch my back and tense up as I cum again.

His thrusts become faster and sloppier until he cums himself and before I have time to react, he’s standing up and carrying me on his hips to his bed. He lies me on my back and smiles as he stares at me.

He spreads my legs opened and gets on his knees between them and his hands hold my ankle and place it on his shoulder before he unclasps my stockings and put them down my leg. He does the exact same thing with my other leg and caresses my entire body before he takes off my bodysuit.

He then hovers me and pecks my lips a few times before he pecks my nose and my cheeks and then my neck and my collarbones and he leaves kisses in every inch of my skin. I almost giggle when he kisses the spots that tickle and I feel a different type of excitement on my belly at his attention for these kisses aren’t even lustful, even though we’re both now naked. I feel adored and I feel cared for and wanted and I feel my heart about to explode with love for him.

He kisses my legs and from the inner side of my thighs he moves back to my belly, kissing my skin there again before he smiles at me.

“What do you want from me, Harry?”

“Everything.” He smiles as his face reaches the level of mine and he pecks my lips again. “I want everything from you.”

My breath catches on my throat. I want him, no, more, I love him. I love him. I swallow and play with his hair as I stare into his eyes.

“Careful what you wish for” I whisper “If you play with fire, you’ll end up burned.”

“I’m already burned.” He smirks. “And here I am.”

I smile but the smiles turns into an o as he thrusts inside me again. God, this man is insatiable, but I can’t get enough either. He fucks me slowly again and he keeps biting my lips and squeezing my flesh as we both gasp and moan.

I sink my nails on his back as he licks and sucks on my nipples and I moan his name once and again whilst his hips keep drilling me to his bed. I wish we could stay like this forever. When the delicious torture on my breasts is done, he grants me again with the heavenly image of his face and that’s all I can see as he rests his forehead against mine and keeps on moving in and out of me. I feel his breath on my face and swallow his grunts and moans.

I am not sure he feels the same way I do. I don’t know if he loves me but I don’t think I could feel any of this if he didn’t. I don’t think he would make love to me like this if he didn’t love me. I think he wouldn’t touch me like he does, I think he wouldn’t squeeze my flesh so gently if he didn’t. I think his kisses wouldn’t feel like this if he didn’t love me too.

“You feel so good, baby.”

I feel my pulse on my skin and I feel the knot on my belly about to untie and with another push of his, I lose track of space and time and my head sinks of the pillow. I can’t even breathe for some seconds until I moan out loud and feel my throat raspy and becoming inflamed. He lets go too, groaning in my ear and shivering on my arms.

It takes him a few seconds to roll out of me, but he stays laying on top of me and I hug him to my chest as we both fight to catch our breaths. I don’t know what any of this was but he filled me in every level and I still feel my heart pumping proudly at the newly found sentiment.

Harry’s breathing pattern changes and becomes calm and deep. Carefully, I pull back just enough to look into his eyes but they’re close and his expression is peaceful. I kiss his forehead.

“You’re falling asleep on me.” I whisper.

“No…” He frowns but his eyes are still closed.

I smile and try my best to pull from the duvet so I can cover us both but I’m not strong enough.

“I just need help to cover us up.”

“I’ll warm you up.” He mumbles.

“You’ll freeze too, come on.”

With one hand he lifts my back from the bed and with the other he pulls from the duvet and rolls us both under the duvet before he hugs me again. This time he rests his back against the mattress and pulls me to him so I’m the one resting my head on his chest. I trace senseless figures with my fingertips on his bare chest.

“Blue”

“Yes?”

“Give me a goodnight kiss.”

I chuckle before I lift my head and peck his lips. His eyes are still closed but he frowns.

“Kiss me well.” He complains.

I press my lips against his again, not quite knowing what he wants, and lick my way inside his mouth, getting a lazy response from his tongue. When I think I did well, I pull apart and peck his lips as closure but he opens his eyes and the intense green in them paralyzes me.

“I want one of your kisses.”

Still impressed by his gaze, I press my lips against his again and I put all the affection I have for him on the kiss until my belly erupts in a fist of butterflies and my chest feels funny and warm. We kiss one another with love, it can only be love, and when I feel like my pulse has reached my brain, I pull away and Harry skims my nose with his.

I rest my cheek against his chest before he opens his eyes and realizes I’m blushing and I hear his heartbeat against my temple. His breathing slows down just like the movement of his fingertips on the low of my back and he sighs.

“Blue…”

I hum.

“I love you.”

#harry styles imagine #harry styles one shot #harry styles blurb #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfic #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff #harry styles smut #harry styles and reader #harry styles news #harry styles

[introvert--weeb]

Sup! This is a request for a match up in the Obey Me fandom.

I'm 25, cis female and I'm 5'3. Born in July, INTP. I'm bisexual. While I can be infatuated with someone, I rarely fall in love. It’s also hard for me to forget someone because I grow to love people by their actions. My hobbies are: coding, designing, writing, gaming, and watching horror. The campier and gorier the horror is, the better time I am having. Most of my lifestyle involves coding and designing, so I don't enjoy talking about it too much outside of the mentoring aspect.

I do mentor a bunch of teens and have actively helped a few get out of bad lifestyles. I enjoy doing so but it does give me compassion fatigue. Despite that I love those little bastards. It helps me with my aspd and anxiety.

I do enjoy to let lose once a blue moon with drinking games; I don't do that much, but I am a social drinker. I prefer the really fruity stuff that takes good. When I do get a bit drunk, I'm actually super sappy and like to send texts telling people I love and appreciate them; I smile a heck of a lot more too. That said I think I'd be very upset if I got with someone and they were only as affectionate to me in private. I'd be offended.

My friends would call me a very selective extrovert. As I'm not necessarily introverted, I just am selective with whom I want associate with. But I am friendly with just about everyone I talk with. When I'm not, I just don't speak with the person in question.

My aesthetic? It's more along the lines of grunge/goth/street, I like wearing dark colors but accenting it with vibrant colors. I have a huge interest in alternative, techwear and streetwear fashion. Thanks :D

Ooo! Another Obey Me match up! I am starting to love this event I am doing for all the interesting people I am meeting and the research I can do on characters ❤️

I will match you with...

Diavolo ❤️

Probably one of the most spontaneous couples that there are in Devildom. This man will be doing some paperwork one minute and then off to find Lucifer for some entertainment the next. So be prepared to find yourself changing your day plans around his moods.

You would support him fully in his dream to connect all three of the worlds, mainly because you had arrived from the human world and saw how important it could be to strengthen the relations between angels, demons and humans. Diavolo would appreciate just how much you supported him with his dream.

When the demon prince found out about your varied hobbies, he would love to find out more and possibly engage in them with you. Especially watching horror movies together. He would be a little confused on why the deaths seemed too dramatic and gore-filled, but he would enjoy seeing how much you enjoyed it. Diavolo would definitely invite the demon brothers around to the palace for horror movie nights with you. That would be a monthly event.

He understood how you didn't particularly like talking about your coding and designing away from when you would do it so he would never try and force you to talk about it. After all, he didn't particularly want to talk about his demon prince duties away from the workload and so appreciated how the time you spent together was meant for the two of you, not talking about work.

A very affectionate demon. Any opportunity he could get to have you near him, he would take. Holding hands while walking through Devildom, head kisses at random moments, all the types of affection that you were comfortable with and didn't get in the way of anyone's business. He would get more affectionate in private but is definitely an all the time affectionate demon.

When it came to the demon brothers, you were lucky enough to get close with Leviathan. He would be difficult to get close to but once he saw you were playing a game he wanted to get (the perks of dating the demon prince was that you could get some games before they are released), he would warm up to you. You and Levi would often play games together when Diavolo was with Lucifer.

Expect random texts throughout the day from your boyfriend if you weren't together. Things from asking what you would like Barbatos to make for dinner that night, to quick I love you's. He would want to make sure you knew he was thinking of you even if you weren't together.

Drinking with this demon is an experience. Diavolo had a very high alcohol tolerance and it's very rare to get him where he was showing signs of being drunk. However, he would enjoy watching you when you were drunk. He would find your sappiness amusing, and would love that you were smiling more than usual. After all, it was one of his favourite features of yours. He would do anything to get you to smile.

So this demon would be the perfect boyfriend. You wanted something? Expect to find it in your room that night with a sweet love note from the redhead. Wanted to have some time alone? Just let him know when you want to hang out again and he will be there with open arms. Feeling down and a little homesick? Pack your bag since you will be having a day trip to anywhere you want in the human world. He would seriously do whatever he could to make you happy. And I hope you would support him at every turn with the dream he holds so dear.

#obey me matchups #obey me x reader #obey me #om! diavolo #diavolo #match up requests #match up event #100 followers event #requested

[s0ym1lk]

One of the things I think about a lot as a bisexual trans man is how the things I’m ‘allowed’ to say map directly to how people read me as a person. 

Pre-transition, I experienced a lot of misogyny due to my life and career choices. I’ve been sexually assaulted twice and was stalked by a supervisor at a previous job. As a passing trans man, people do not assume that I’ve had these experiences (and I don’t blame them for not expecting it - how could they know?). That occasionally puts me in a strange position. For example, I once took a diversity training where the instructor asked a series of questions about different experiences and asked anyone that had had those experiences to stand up. It is VERY uncomfortable to be the only man standing when the question ‘Have you ever been harassed due to your gender at work?’ is asked. (I would like to caveat that the instructor told us standing up was voluntary, that we should only do so if we felt comfortable.) 

The experience brought up a lot of different thoughts for me - that my identity is not fundamentally captured in our binary understanding of gender and gendered experiences, that assumptions about gendered experiences leave me isolated from everyone around me, that such attempts at diversity training without space to share your actual experience leads to misunderstanding. It also made me question how much explanation I ‘owe’ to someone when I speak out about my experiences. Speaking superficially, the answer is of course that I don’t owe anyone anything. Speaking more realistically...should I have clarified that my experience should fall into the ‘female’ bucket, because the people harassing me assumed I was female? The instructor’s point was to highlight that women face an issue men largely do not, and by standing but not speaking out, I muddied that point when I could have just explained. 

Assuming I’m cool with explaining (which is sometimes true and sometimes not, in that case I had the spoons to stand but not to explain), even that is complicated. Knowledge around trans people and trans issues is not widespread. If I bring up my transness in a discussion, the discussion has to be sidetracked to bring everyone up to speed about what exactly that means. Even if people are familiar, they generally respond as if that’s something that needs to be discussed or something I need to be reassured about, which leads the whole discussion off on a tangent. I remember I was once having a conversation with two people at a party, one man and one woman, and the woman was sharing a pretty personal memory of sexual harassment. I wanted to commiserate because I’ve had the same experience. But commiserating meant sharing my status as transgender, which would have pulled the focus away from her and onto me to explain all that, and she was in the middle of being really vulnerable so of course I didn’t want to do that. That meant that for all intents and purposes, I was isolated from connecting with someone via shared experiences due to my status as transgender and due to other people’s perceptions of my experience. That...sucked. 

Professionally, I’ve been involved in many conversations around gendered issues. It is definitely the case that as a man, I can talk about these issues (and be listened to seriously) in a way that women can’t. But to be more clear, that means talking about them as if I’m a cisgender man. Because the value here doesn’t come from me saying ‘I’m a man and yet was sexually assaulted while being perceived as female’, it comes from me pretending to be a cis man and saying, ‘but I still believe women when they talk about the seriousness of sexual assault!’ In fact, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve told my own stories of harassment and misogyny and pretended that it was something that happened to ‘a friend of mine’ instead. Again, I don’t owe it to anyone to pretend to be cisgender in these conversations. I also don’t owe it to anyone to come out as transgender so people have the right context. AND YET, I do feel I have an obligation to say something. So in the end, I still have to choose one of those options. If I don’t, the people around me seeing me stay silent in the face of misogyny are not going to magically know that my silence is due to the complicated nature of my gender history. They are going to see me as a cisgender man allowing misogyny to happen. I want anyone seeing what they think is a cisgender man failing to stand up to misogyny to call that person out. Equally, I do not want to be called out because someone’s perception of me is not correct. 

Joking has also become vastly more complicated. I never realized how much joking I did that relied specifically on someone being able to see me and make assumptions about my identity in order to understand the joke (which, to be fair, isn’t just a gender or sexuality issue....the other day, a coworker I’d only ever chatted with online sent me the message ‘thanks you in Asian’, which had me preparing for a very serious conversation until I saw him in person and realized he was literally referring to himself as an Asian guy). I could very easily make a sarcastic joke now intending to call out misogyny that would come off as me being sexist towards women. 

Same deal for sexuality. I made a joke today at work that might have seemed homophobic if it were coming from a straight person. I am not a straight person. My coworkers don’t know this. The guy I said the joke to, to the best of my knowledge, is a straight guy. If someone overhears that joke and feels offended because they are LGBT or on behalf of LGBT people, does that mean I did something wrong? And yet...am I required to censor the way I talk about my own sexuality in order to not seem like I’m being homophobic? Do I have to come out in order to not be perceived as telling homophobic jokes? It becomes a situation where I either censor the way I talk about my own identity to reduce harm, I commit to being true to my identity and perpetuate harm, or I out myself in an attempt to give context but therefore open myself up to discrimination.  

The whole subject is complicated. And mind you, I’m not advocating in any way that call-out culture is toxic or flawed with this post. I can and do want people to feel comfortable calling out others for what they perceive to be discriminatory or bigoted behavior, even if that means I end up in the crosshairs. I’m just trying to share some thoughts about how being part of a community in a way that’s not visible can be complex and frustrating to navigate. This is a subject I navigate daily, sometimes multiple times in a day, and it never gets easier. 

#transgender #ftm #trans man #trans #bisexuality #ultimately even if my approach is imperfect i try to remind myself that speaking up is doing more than most people do #i really was not prepared for how hard dudes try to convince you to buy into misogyny though #i snapped at a coworker recently for making a trap joke in reference to trans women #i had literally just come from being denied an ID due to having my birth name and gender on a document so i was not in the right headspace #to be gentle in that conversation #and it turns out he thought trap jokes were a silly anime meme and not like #a slur #and i was like great #from this guys perspective i tore into him over a meme that he didn't even know was transphobic