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chutkiandchotte · 11 months

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Khushi, Family, and Unconditional Love

This post happened because I started thinking about how, for Khushi, having the Raizadas as her in-laws is such a critical part of her personal happy ending and the healing-from-her-trauma journey.

Certainly, in my opinion, they represent a MUCH happier family unit for her than the Guptas. Now listen, this isn’t a Guptas-bashing post (though I can definitely whip one of those out, some other day maybe). But if we’re talking about Khushi’s trauma and her ultimate happy ending, we have to talk about how the Guptas treated Khushi, and that brings out some harsh truths!

Little Orphan Khushi

Note: I’ll exclude Shashi from this analysis for the time being because he truly accepted Khushi as a daughter, loved and took care of her to the best of his ability, and nearly giving his life to protect her.

But Buaji and Garima, are NOT the same as Shashi. It’s absolutely undeniable that underneath the surface of their love and care for Khushi is an undercurrent of neglect, contempt, and discrimination. Khushi IS family, but she ISN’T the same as Payal. Payal is truly beloved, for herself. She is considered an ideal child, full of virtues. Khushi? Khushi is loved as a duty, taken care of as the orphan burden. And this sentiment isn’t buried too deep - its a little too close to the surface, awaiting only a little anger, to burst out.

Khushi is a PROBLEM, to be managed, to be controlled, the best they can. Payal is nurtured and a little spoiled, to be protected from the worst of the what the world has to offer, whereas Khushi takes on burdens entirely to large for her age for the sake of her family, and it’s all taken for granted. She is given way too much responsibility, she is the one making sacrifices to protect THEM and it is all subtly accepted and normalized.

Why was Payal, the unmarried elder one, not linked with Shyam, if he was so eligible? Because for all his charms, he was ALSO the orphaned connection-less paying guest whose background no one knows much about. If it was Payal who went to work at the Raizadas the second time, would Buaji even CONSIDER letting her go? Would Buaji let Payal keep a secret about her stalker/sexual harasser, forcing her to hang around this same man all the time, for the sake of protecting Khushi’s future?

See, they aren’t fairy tale evil step mothers. So it’s not that they don’t care for Khushi at all. They do care! They just don’t care AS MUCH as they do for Payal. The care for Khushi isn’t instinctive and emotional the way it is for Payal, the care comes from a sense of duty towards a child under their responsibility. And Khushi knows it. She feels it ALL. Will she ever admit this to anybody? Nope! But she knows.

What Do We Do With The Problem of Khushi?

So, if they’re not evil and beyond redemption, then why are the Guptas like this? It’s not that they’re looking for reasons to hate Khushi, in fact, they observably do have a certain amount of affection and care for her. But, I believe, there’s a filter that distorts how they view her and how they love her that limits them. That is the filter of “she is an orphan we adopted who is draining our common financial resources and adding to our net worries by her very existence”.

For middle class people, the financial burden of an extra child is nothing to be sneezed at, ESPECIALLY when it’s an additional girl child. The context of conservative, middle-class, small-town India is ever present in every scene with the Guptas. Again I repeat, there are no villains here (except Shyam) nor are you supposed to hate Buaji or Garima. It’s just that, to understand these delicately imbalanced family dynamics, you have to consider the society that they live in. A girl child represents a net financial drain. And that can’t be waved away no matter how evolved you are. The BEST case scenario is a man like Shashi, kind, generous, liberal-hearted, fair-minded, and loving, who would take Khushi in and NEVER blame her for any of this. But he can, and he very much does, worry about how to give his daughters the protection and the happiness they deserve considering his limitations. He worries. And the stress of it all takes an undeniable medical toll on him. He can never resent Khushi because he knows it’s not her fault. But he is absolutely worrying extra because of the fact that it’s two daughters, not one.

By the way, this kind of bias is incredibly common (and extremely depressing). You’ll see a step child kind of attitude towards many girl children, even those who are fully blood related, in certain sections of society in India. Where will the dowry come from? Who will pay? What is the worth of a girl child when all she will do is take away a chunk of her family’s wealth with her? The indictment here is largely for the social structures that perpetuate this kind of terrible injustice, generation after generation. The best meaning individuals can be at wits end as to how they can take care of their families in such circumstances.

THIS is also the crux of why Khushi really feels that burden of unlimited gratitude towards her parents, this is why I believe she is so extra EXTRA motivated to be the breadwinner, protect her family from financial woes, to prevent her father ANY amount of extra worry especially any on her account. As a girl child, Khushi wants to prove to them they haven’t made a “bad deal” by taking her in. She wants to show them the rich dividends of doing this great favor of loving her. (Let’s all take a minute to hug Khushi) (Arnav thinks this way too!!! Exactly this, just that being a man his motivation is more aspirational and less emotionally and logistically complicated).

The other aspect of this, is that in desi cultures, girl children are also considered a greater as well as trickier moral and social responsibility. The “honor” of women is fragile and must be protected blah blah blah and other nonsense. So any bad behavior on the part of Khushi is seen as particularly ungrateful in a way Payal’s would never be. Why? Because Khushi was rescued by them from the horror of being a girl alone in the world, given a home and protection and respectability, and in turn, she owes them a lifetime of being EXTRA careful, EXTRA perfect, so as to not add to their stress of raising girl children.

So, viewing Khushi through this girl child orphan/burden filter, they can never quite appreciate her for what she is, never quite let themselves love her for her own self, completely. They see her exuberance, her mischief, and worry about it causing logistical problems for them. They see her charming yet innocent nature, and worry about her getting intro disrespectable situations which would reflect badly on them and Payal. They see her “sanka-devi ness” ie her weirdness and penchant for trouble, her headstrong and stubborn nature, and worry about how that makes her bad marriage material, on top of already being an orphan. And you know what? They’re not entirely wrong; some of these qualities Khushi has, are NOT what people look for in an ideal Indian woman in the marriage market. But as her family, the Guptas should help her make the best of these circumstances and support her in her journey, rather than making her feel less than, and problematic, just for being her natural self. But, those are their limitations! From their perspective, they definitely think they did the best they could do, and they for sure did much more than what most others would have done.

This is a bit of a head-canon, not entirely show-based, but it’s one I like: I think that it’s only when the Guptas see Khushi through other people’s eyes, specifically the Raizadas’ eyes, that they learn to fully appreciate her strengths. And it’s when she’s actually gone from the house, that they start to realize how much joy and emotional strength she lent to their household.

Khushi’s Deepest, Unspoken Desires

So how does all this shape our little orphan Khushi, naturally affectionate and giving, sensitive and self-esteemed, determined and naive and idealistic and passionate all at once? She LOVES the Guptas, she would lay her life down for them, she can’t hear a word against them or question them even in her own thoughts. She can never consciously acknowledge any flaws in her adoptive family or their upbringing of her. But nevertheless, their attitude towards her DOES influence her subconscious desires and deepest ambitions. She sublimates her unmet family needs into her marriage dreams. She is seeking resolution for the trauma of her broken family and life as a burdensome adopted child, from her idealistic and actually quite unrealistic dreams of her perfect future husband and in-laws.

The one thing that Khushi craves for, that she secretly, and desperately hopes for, is unconditional love and acceptance. She longs to be in a family unit where despite having no blood relation, she has full rights to her proper position, a claim to every material and emotional consideration, and no one can question it or take it away for any reason and she needn’t feel obliged to anybody for what she gets. It all - the love, the care, the money, the house, is unquestionably hers. In short, the type of acceptance and position you can get from being a beloved and respected wife and daughter in law.

Also, she wants a husband and in-laws who love her for what she is and just as she is with no asterisk or element of duty. She wants that unconditional love, with full freedom to be herself, to express her full range of Khushi behaviors. She’s seen how all her life, her mother and aunt have struggled to accept the extremities of her sanka-devi-ness. Considered it a problem. Even Shashi, though he accepted and encouraged her, didn’t represented a source of full comfort and support for her simply because Khushi herself never wants to worry or trouble him, she is so scared to disappoint him or bother him too much. She craves to be around people who she doesn’t have to work quite so hard to impress by suppressing her natural self and being what they want her to be; people who spontaneously enjoy her natural dorky, energetic, impulsive self; people who don’t need anything from her but just want her around, for herself. It’s her ultimate dream because Khushi is a loving, selfless soul deprived of a healthy family unit. She craves the same kind of love that she gives out.

Khushi’s Khushi: A Realistic Fulfillment of Unrealistic Dreams

Now, as I said, Khushi puts a lot of onus on her future marriage to help her achieve her deepest desires. I think that’s what marriage, the divine, lofty ideal of it that she cherishes in her heart, means to her. Of course, this 18 yr old girl’s dream of achieving all of the above through marriage is just that - a quite silly, though poignant dream. It’s not realistic. An average marriage does not encompass most of what Khushi wants from it. An average conservative desi marriage, even less so. But never fear. Devi Maiyya, and ASR, are here - to both teach Khushi a few lessons in the realm of reality, and then also to eventually give her the much more realistic, tempered, mature version of her cherished dream.

To clarify - I don’t think Khushi having these dreams is silly or stupid. Khushi is valid, all right??? She’s got every right to seek the kind of love and acceptance via romantic and “found family” structures which she never got in her adopted family. What I am saying is, her dreams are immature, the way teenagers’ dreams often are - they aren’t based in reality and aren’t reasonably achievable. That doesn’t mean you have to give up on the dream, it just means that with life experience and learnings, you learn to tailor and temper your dream to a more nuanced, realistic version, that encompasses life’s complexities. Like Khushi does!

This is one of the reasons, despite all surface evidence to the contrary, Arnav IS the perfectly imperfect man for Khushi, the balm for all her wounds, the answer to all her duas (wishes/dreams). Arnav’s unique and loving family is an important part of what he offers Khushi, just like Khushi’s easy and effortlessly loving relationship with his family is an important part of what Khushi offers him. These are the building blocks of their long-term suitability for one another as life partners.

Why The Raizadas Matter, And Not Just As Arnav’s Family

The great thing about the Raizadas is, they aren’t just “Arnav’s family who like and accept Khushi”. The Raizadas are, in a sense, like Khushi’s own found family. She has relationships and attachments with them independent of Arnav. They actually gave her what she wanted, that is, a family that loves her for all of who she is, who never viewed her as a burden, who truly want her around with no qualifications to change who she is.

They just are always so tickled by ALL of Khushi’s drama and silliness and pranks; and yet appreciate how responsible and wise she is for her age. And even when she messes up or crosses a line (mostly Arnav-related lol) they rarely take offence, even though they would actually have the right to on several occasions! They ENJOY having her around, they seek out her company, find her jokes funny, ask her for ideas, want her opinions, respect her capabilities. They appreciate all her strengths - her bravery, her intelligence, her creativity, her sense of humor, her people-savvy skills, the way she mingles with everybody, the way she can find solutions to every problem. They’re all a little bit in awe of her, I think, the same way they are in awe of Arnav. As they should be!!! Arnav and Khushi are truly THAT power couple, equally matched in their intelligence, beauty, and bravery (and also in their irritating stubborness lol) . And the Raizadas see that.

[ Also like, just, shoutout to the Raizadas for actually being a surprisingly chill, mild, and reasonable family in the landscape of Indian television populated with EXTREMELY dramatic, viciously misogynistic, and needlessly hostile family units. (Seriously those of you who do not have this context, believe me, compared to your Average Tellywood Family, the Raizadas are practically angelic, all right?) ]

It’s absolutely funny to me how much the Raizadas enjoy seeing Khushi dominate Arnav. Like, let me tell you, if this was Your Average Tellywood Show, they would all HATE Khushi from witnessing her resignation speech for humiliating their darling male son heir child. Instead, they are hilariously amused and kind of in awe and low-key cheering her on whenever they see her taking on ASR.

And, psycho Indian to-be in-laws would be all set to blame Khushi for the Arnav-Lavanya break up. Instead, they are SO partial to Khushi the whole time she works there, to the point that it actually makes Lavanya feel really bad that she’s working so hard to fit in and not fully succeeding while Khushi is doing it effortlessly. It’s not even about the sanskaar (cultural knowledge which Khushi has) or any of that - its just about the natural chemistry that Khushi has with the Raizadas, it’s much stronger and flows easier than with any other potential bahus, including La and Payal. Like, they’re all friends, and they get along, and its all fun and chill!

And by Tellywood rules, after the elopement, they should be cursing her as a characterless woman. And after the Shyam thing (during the Didi ki saut track) - don’t even get me started, we got mad at what we got but it could have been MUCH MUCH WORSE you guys.

Nevertheless, we can’t let them off the hook completely, just because they aren’t as evil as their counterparts in some other stories! The Raizadas were definitely being unfair to Khushi, with a typical patriarchal bent, in their in their judgements and scoldings and expectations during these high crisis periods. Their reactions were understandable to a certain point (speaking about just general disappointment) as they still didn’t have the complete picture at that point. But blaming a woman and letting a man off the hook for the same mistake? Not even considering the power imbalance at play that might have influenced circumstances? Not okay!

In their favor, even when they are in the throes of confusion and understandable disappointment at Khushi, they treat her with reasonable ire. I mean, there’s no dramatic hair pulling or excessive name calling or physical violence (except for Mami’s cruel taunts, but she’s been consistent with those from day 1). Just quiet and cold disappointment, which of course, is bad enough, but it’s realistic, it’s not overdramatic. And again - in their defence - they don’t know the extent of her suffering - she never tells them the whole truth. They think these are her decisions, and they are as disappointed as they would be in a friend they trusted, who let them down. And while they may be disappointed, and they may hold back in expressing their affections, it’s clear that the inner love for her never wavers, they never cross over into hating or abusing her. Even when Anjali is at her most Shyam-manipulated distorted perspective stage, she never hates Khushi or wishes her ill; her inappropriate or misplaced reactions/emotions are mostly focused on herself, her relationship with Arnav, and the loss of her husband.

A great example of the Raizadas natural affection for Khushi is in the contract marriage period, especially Holi. They are quite easily won over with Khushi’s efforts to woo them and the madcap antics on Holi. You know why? Because they just LIKE her too much to stay mad at her! And it’s hard to stay mad all the time at somebody you inherently like and want to hang out with and make plans with lol. Once they forgive her, they let go of all the resentments. They accept her whole heartedly. They support her in all of her craziness and outlandish ideas, her wishes and ambitions like her dabba service, her home tuitions, even in her irritating Arnav shenanigans! Not quite understanding what’s wrong with contract marriage era Arnav and Khushi, they even clumsily try to play matchmaker, and marriage counsellor, trying to bring them closer to each other. Crucially, it’s not just Arnav they worry about - they genuinely and earnestly worry about Khushi and her happiness, her safety, too.

I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that Khushi was adored by Nani, befriended by Anjali and later NK, and liked/respected by the likes of Akash LONG before there was any idea of “arshi” in any of their heads. In fact, Khushi was Arnav’s enemy. They actively FOUGHT Arnav to keep Khushi in their lives, to keep hanging out with her. She was on “their team” first lol. In terms of interests, hobbies, and likes, she has so much more in common with Raizadas, than with Arnav, who is a bit of an odd fish in his family. So, they like her as herself, first, and then think of her as “Arnav’s wife” whom they would be obliged to like and politely get along with no matter who she ended up being.

That natural and unconditional affection that she has from her in-laws, is a HUGE dream come true for Khushi. Seeing the kind of acceptance she gets from them, I think, heals an essentially broken part of herself and allows her to come into her fullest potential.

I THINK that’s what they were going for with the Miss India track, from the family angle - to show a full circle for Khushi’s character, to show her standing strong and independent after achieving her dreams, backed by the support of a truly loving and accepting family who are extremely proud of her, with the unwavering love of her Arnavji who is always there to catch her when she stumbles. No denying, they FAILED (big time) in the specifics of achieving this intention because of the terrible execution of the last couple of tracks in IPK.

But if I consider the overall picture, the complete end-to-end journey of Khushi in the TV show as a whole, then I can definitely see how the character arc of a outwardly happy, inwardly traumatized little orphan seeking true unconditional love and acceptance, not just from a man, but from a family, was beautifully fulfilled.

#ipkknd #khushi kumari gupta #arnav singh raizada #guys this is extremely long #its just like a 2000 word essay. pls read AT YOUR OWN RISK #i have a lot of THOUGHTS every time about Khushi's trauma and I wanted to yell them into the sky and though ill write them here instead

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from-the-clouds · 11 months

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you know what kendall deserves his version of willa (with a happier ending) he can do his lewis and clark of sex manic episode thing with her, it starts as filling the void with sex and pushing shit away, she wanted some fun and the money wasn't a bad thing and doesn't find him to be as awful as she thought he could be.

she becomes super protective of him once she realizes what he's actually going through, doesn't let his family speak over him. None of that your kids aren't your real kids bullshit, all 'that's it we're doing something about it' attitude. she convinces him to go back to rehab and stay in therapy treatment (and she waits for him)

it goes from sex buddies to actual friendship to love.

she becomes his number 1 fan, she gets him into collecting records and investing into things he actually cares about. maybe he starts a label? or he funds one. he wants to patch up his relationship with his kids guess who's there ready to be there for him?? when kens guilt returns about the waiter, about the election, about his kids, about everything shes is there. if the jess publishing a book thing is an in universe thing and he gets to see himself from the outside, she is there.

she also comes from this hard background and has done tons of work to heal, so she's ready to be there for him. nobody has ever actually cared about him, and wasn't counting on that being the direction of the relationship so it takes him a while to realize this isn't just sex and money anymore.

he probably keeps thinking the only reason she stays is because well she likes his money, the more he likes her the more he pushes her away because he thinks it's for the best. nobody really needs to put up with him, she figures it out though.

she knows the cycle, she has lived the cycle. they don't have to be together anymore but she will not leave him, he breaks, it's love, it's real. it might not be forever but close enough, and it's real love.

Anyway I'm not a writer I'm just tired of the nihilism of people with kendall my man is happy and content in the future, he finds happiness again. He still has stewy who will be definitely investing on the label thing even if he says he won't work with ken ever again. ken funds stewys lube line (the wetter the better) in repayment.

sorry that i sent this to you but i needed it to be out there somewhere. love your Professor!Ken headcanons! hope you're having a great time on your vacations 💜

i totally could see ken ending up with a willa! or someone like him. there are some really good ken x reader fics that have this sort of dynamic, too, even if doesn't go exactly how you type it out here!

i think kendall could literally do anything with his money, a record label would be a great idea since he's so into music/art and pop culture stuff! also him dating someone younger would keep him 'hip' to everything so he would see that as a perk of seeing her.

and yes! i could see their relationship being sort of cyclic like the show. maybe he pushes her away when he gets too emotionally involved, but she sort of keeps coming back because she likes him too.

i understand why kendall's ending has to be seen as grim for the sake of the show, but i don't know that it's as grim as 'he's going to die' if that's how jesse wanted to end the show that's how he would've ended it, you know? like i think it's intentional kendall was kept alive, but he will probably find something else to be obsessive about eventually. and the cycle will keep repeating!! but its not all bad in my opinion.

#asks #writing #kendall roy x reader

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thiswaycomessomethingwicked · 3 months

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for the characters ask - what about eowyn? :)

oooooh, yessss I love me Eowyn-Dernhelm

First impression

You know, I initially didn't like her. At least in the movies. She came off a little too much of "I'm not like other girls~~~" for my tastes.

In the books, though, I always loved her because she was a stone cold bitch for 90% of the time until her personality transplant at the end.

Impression now

I still prefer book Eowyn to movie Eowyn (I personally find move Eowyn too 2D for my tastes).

I like book Eowyn for her flintiness. Strike her at the right (wrong?) angle and you'll start a forest fire. She would walk on you in a sexy way but it would also absolutely hurt. And that would be the point.

I also like book Eowyn's selfishness that runs equal to her brazenness, her fearlessness, her rage, her love. She's just as impulsive as her brother, it's simply masked more. I also really love her as a foil/mirroring to Grima - especially the mutual selfish Oath Breaking aspects of their characters. She's also just as likely to burn the world down, if for radically different reasons and done through a radically different way. I think that's a very nice, subtle touch on Tolkien's part.

The ambiguity of her gender subversion is also fun. It doesn't feel like the "~~I want to be a knight UWU I'm not like other girls UWU~~~" that a lot of characters can fall into who follow the same trope line as Eowyn. I'm so glad she escapes that and it feels more nuanced and complex.

I just love, love, love Book Eowyn's anger and recklessness and yeah. All her faults. She, like her uncle, is deeply human in a way that I appreciate.

Favorite moment

In the books - absolutely her argument/heated discussion with Aragorn before he leaves for the Paths of the Dead. Where she says that line about how when the men have died in battle and honour, women have leave to be burned in the houses the men left behind. And also that if someone tells her do her duty one more time she's going to shank a bitch (perhaps not exactly what she said, but the essence is there).

I also love the scene in the books when Theoden is like "but who will take care of Edoras while we're at Helm's Deep? My son is dead and Eomer won't listen to me if I told him to stay put. No one is left" and Hama is like, "???? Eowyn???? wtf how are you overlooking her???" And then she takes her vow/oath to stay and defend Edoras and she gets the great like about how there will be a Return of the King (to Edoras, she just means her uncle).

In the movies - I'm not sure. I suppose the scene with Grima at Theodred's deathbed is an interesting one.

Idea for a story

Same one as I did for Boromir: What if Boromir lives and Eowyn gets to shack up with him and Aragorn as the ultimate power couple? Let the woman be queen of Gondor!!

Unpopular opinion

I think movie Eowyn is a bit boring/too sad/needs way more rage in her. Be uglier! Be more insane! You're from the House of Eorl - no one in that family is normal!

In both book and movies, I don't think her relationship with Faramir is earned. And I know it's because Tolkien initially intended her for Aragorn then made a last minute change-up so there's really no building up of why they're good for each other and how it is she could possibly be happy settling for something we have been told over the course of last two books isn't what she wants.

Yeah, yeah, "she healed" or whatever and found a happier way to be after the war but it just reads as weak. Like, to me it just seems clearly shoehorned in as Tolkien absolutely pulled his punch so far as Eowyn's ending is concerned. He could have done better.

(Honestly, Aragorn has always made waaaay more sense as a partner for Eowyn than Faramir. It was such a let down to me as a kid watching the movies that they didn't end up together. I was like "whatever, Arwen has 2 minutes of screen time. Don't care. Let Aragorn get with this woman who sword fights and makes him laugh.")

I suspect my other unpopular opinion is that I don't think she and Eomer were ever very close. They do not give off vibes of siblings who confide in one another. It's clearly the sort of relationship where Eowyn is like "yeah that's my brother...I know absolutely nothing about him and vice versa. Despite his absence from my life he is still somehow overbearing and over-protective."

I mean we get that scene in the books where Eomer basically admits he doesn't know his sister at all and was always too busy to make time for her (and he regrets this).

But I know fandom likes to write them as besties.

Favorite relationship

Theoden, of course! I love her relationship with her uncle who is her veritable dad. I think it's so sweet and probably one of the most important relationships in her life. I can't imagine what she felt when he died in front of her. Like, the heart shattering and the anger and the grief and so on. It must have been a red-hot knife to the chest.

I also like her and Aragorn in the book. They have great conversations and clearly are able to push against one another yet still clearly respect and care for each other.

Favorite headcanon

(Power couple with Boromir and Aragorn)

She cut her hair when she became Dernhelm. None of this flowing locks down to her ass somehow hidden under her helmet. Do you know how much hair she would have? Absolutely not. She chopped that shit off Mulan-style. It was somewhere between chin and shoulders in the style of Rohirrim men.

----

Thank you so much for the ask! :D :D

#eowyn #eomer #theoden #lotr #lord of the rings #ask #ask game #ask meme #character ask #reply #anon

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selemina · 1 year

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Time for a thing I've never done on here: writting down my thoughts on a thing I like.

Today I am talking about the Dream SMP SEASON 1 Finale. (Hopefully I tagged it correctly, if not, SPOILERS AHEAD)

I started it with Tubbo. Incredibly gripping acting, he had such a hard time actually launching the nukes knowing Tommy would die. Jack being there, obviously dying to get it done so he could be rid of Tommy, but also trying to remain a friend for Tubbo, in his own goofy/rough way, was fantastic. And their conflict once the nuke launches put into light the core issue of the server : everyone wants peace, but grudges built up so high with no perspective, that now all that is left is harm. Harm, and trauma, and everything being taken from everyone by everyone else.

All everyone wants is for it to stop. Whatever it takes. Including if it means nuking the server, because the hurt built up on itself to this breaking point.

Them failing to reach Tommy was heartbreaking. Jack was barely starting to have hope to be with his friends again, Tubbo tried so hard to save Tommy, rather than keeping himself safe like he promised. But it was always going to be this way, wasn't it? He was always going to come running after his best friend.

I then went back to watch Jack's stream, set before Tubbo's, to get a full picture. There were already signs of hope from Jack that Tubbo might get away from harm (in his mind, Tommy) and get happier with him. So later when Tubbo re-defined what the harm was (Dream and Tommy's CONFLICT!), it helped Jack balance his opinion on Tommy, at least enough to try to save him to the very end, even when Tubbo had given up.

I don't think he forgave him just like that. But he understood that Tommy was hurting, and that was a part of why he did everything he did that harmed Jack.

And we find this same theme of understanding on Tommy's stream. Not FORGIVENESS, but understanding.

Desperate to hold Dream and Punz in place, Tommy had the right idea, to make them talk about themselves. Except this time he also had to listen, to pay attention. In case he could get new buttons to push to keep them there. And, through the frankly unhinged and evil talk, he did start to see it too : Dream had been hurting. Because of him, because of the mounting grudges, the escalation of pain and retribution. Again, the true plague on the server, and like everybody else, Dream had suffered from it.

His way to deal with it is bad : torture, experiments, mind games, revenge in every direction. Getting lost in his work, anything to look away from the pain and the loss. His road to immortality was his "nuke", his "after that we can be happy and free, so the cost now does not matter".

Tommy and Dream are very similar. But Punz and Tommy were both right in the previous stream : Tommy thinks too small, and Dream thinks too big. Tommy is selfish, and his scale is very human ; Dream has lost touch with that very human scale, and only sees concepts and greater things.

And they both hurt one another because of it. Tommy obsesses over the harm Dream dealt him, while Dream is too disconnected to realize how SEVERE the harm he's doing is, because "in the grand scheme of things it doesn't matter."

"I would have revived you." with a scoff, against a shaking "But it hurts...!"

And that, to me, is where the finale became incredible.

Tommy, selfish, self-centered Tommy, saw through the layers of pain. He empathised. He's been there, even if his way of coping was to curl up within himself and lash out, rather than disconnect from it to go play god. It would have been easy to keep going. Satisfying maybe, to push Dream in the lava and kill him. To be selfish again and only think of his own pain. But that is where Tommy really showed strength and growth : he UNDERSTOOD Dream. Not forgave him, no the harm remains, and it would take forever and an insane amount of good will to heal that... but Tommy had the strength to give the first bit of this good will to Dream.

Because someone has to break the cycle. Because if everyone wants peace, why can't they start to let go of the grudges, and gain perspective?

It demands an amount of vulnerability that is striking, to let go of grief and accept that you hurt someone. And to apologise for the harm done is even harder. It does not invalidate everything that happened : Dream still tortured and played with Tommy. Tommy still ambushed and killed Dream, dividing the server, and refusing to stay down.

But through this bit of good will and understanding, Tommy showed Dream that they could do something else but fight. They could talk. Dream's pain could be taken seriously, not just shoved far at the back of his mind and ignored. Tommy showed him that he could think BIGGER than himself... and that Dream could think smaller, think about himself on a human scale.

"It's not worth it, right?" "Why not? Tell me why not?"

Tommy, selfish Tommy, reached out. And Dream, hurt and dangerous Dream, agreed to come down and take his hand. A first step, for once in the same direction. For once with the same goal of peace. Not perfect, not easy, but human, so incredibly human!

And they never got the time to go further, because of the nuke. Tommy clearly regretted that, and apologized (in my opinion) for robbing both of them of more time to maybe heal finally. Because despite understanding and perspective, the consequences of the harm done still existed. And there was no way to escape it.

At least not on that server. That is where a lot of sentiments from many CCs come into play : comments, in and out of character, about how the smp is a violent, destructive place. Build a house out of wood and it will be burnt to the ground. Hide your belongings, expect to die, trust no one. The smp is like living under a constant state of terror. Despite Eret and Aimsey's efforts and first steps towards a better, sainer state for the smp, the damage is done, the grudges are weaved into the history of every block.

The only way is to start anew, with none of those grudges. Which means, none of those memories. A clean slate, to do better. A clean slate, to breathe again, and have fun. Something new, with this knowledge on understanding and perspective, that comes with age and experience.

Would I have loved to see Dream and Tommy continue to take time, carefully dancing around one another, balancing compassion and trauma to finally forgive one another and become friends? Fuck yeah! I live for that healing shit, for people learning to cope with how they hurt others and how they got hurt, for remorses and relapses, and the care and patience it takes to FORGIVE when the time is right and the growth is real! But do I think the CCs had time for that? No. And they were too many characters, and too shackled by history and their own personalities to all follow that path of healing. So taking this into account, YES starting over was a good move!

And if I know many are bitter about how "easy" that is, rejoice! We get to experience a new era! I have heard so much about "the begining times of the smp", we get to live it again now! New, different, the possibilities are endless! :D It's time for us as well to let go of the past and finally get what we wanted : peace and joy and something new!

I cannot wait to see what happens next! This finale was powerful and subtle, with layers of doom and sensitivity, it was human and emotional and full of despair and hope! Growth, so much growth, 2 years of experience! This next season is going to be fantastic, and I hope the CCs have fun with it regardless of what anybody online says! :D

#dream smp spoilers #dream smp finale #dsmp spoilers #dsmp lore #dsmp #dreblr #unless specified this is all about the characters of course not the content creators #I had so much fun with this 4 part finale!#thank you mister innit for hanging on so hard!#human Dream my beloved #he is very fucked up and he did horrible things #but this spark of humanity we saw was so fucking delicious!#also where is the read more option on mobile?? I'm so sorry!#Anyways maybe some art of that finale later :)#it feels so weird to talk about what I like even on my own blog...

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sevnthhart-a · 11 months

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knock knock, it's me, local menace, and i am here to pose a meta question : what does make tifa happy? what does genuinely spark joy to her? any comfort books, food dishes, drinks, snacks, series, books, music? or would you think that tifa is so absorbed with everything that she hardly makes time to find these things for herself?

blu , local menace , my beloved. thank you for indulging my brainrot xoxo

i. first off, some background as to how i see her mental state / default emotional response because it plays such a heavy part in understanding my thought process on this. to put it frankly, her feelings run deep. this isn't exclusive to the joyful ones, but the more intense outbursts of sadness, anger, etc. as well. while it may not be intentional, everyone close to her ( or even just in general ) has the power to break her heart or heal it. that isn't to say she's fragile ( quite the opposite ; canon content has put her through so much , i'm genuinely in awe of how she's able to withstand it all ) or a crybaby about it ( because i've seen it been said ). the more ill aligning feelings are just so heavily suppressed that it just ends up spiling out bit by bit before it happens to manifest itself into a full blown breakdown. as for the happier ones, she has no need to hold those in. it shows up in a variety of ways — it isn't difficult to make her happy, either. her heart bores so much resemblance to her mother's, so i don't find it hard to believe that she would be grateful for the little things people say or do for her out of kindness as opposed to actions done because of her looks. ( side note : the parallels between thea & tifa are so ashjdfsj i love the lockhart girlies with my entire being )

ii. music makes her happy. while i don't think she's a diehard fan of any particular artist, i can see her being a casual listener of instrumentals or just anything that can be softly played in the background while she's working solo. bonus points if it's piano heavy! i say that for obvious reasons, but i like to think it reminds her of home & simpler times. it's a bit odd but having the news on in the background ( think that one ac scene ) is also something she enjoys. when zangan first dropped her off in an unknown city with little to nothing, having the news on low made it feel like she wasn't so alone. obviously, along came people she could call family, but people gloss over the fact that she felt so very isolated during this time. on quiet days, depending on her mood, she'll pick one over the other & just get to work. it's a good reminder of everything's she gained since then.

iii. i don't see her as a big drinker but, she will indulge herself when the occasion calls for it. she reserves it for special times ( excluding when she's taste testing new menu options ; that's work & she'll often pull for a second opinion ) with friends. i read somewhere that her, barret, & cloud will get together every so often to reminisce about old times & drink to the happy ones ( have no idea if this has been confirmed canon or if anyone else was involved , but i just adore the idea & fully implement it into my interp because i'm a whore for found family ). in moments like that, where she isn't questioning her strength or pondering what ifs, that she's on cloud nine — because this is her home & it's every bit as dear to her as nibelheim was. i'm not talking about edge or any other location, but the people in her life. they are so very precious to her & she will drink to that.

iv. i do wanna mention that it isn't rare she'll seek these interactions out whenever things start to take a toll on her. this goes back to my first point, but i see it as her method of coping. cloud has his ways, tifa has hers. she wants to continue being seen as a figurehead of stability by the people closest to her heart ; all so they feel comfortable relying on her when they're the ones in need ( her redemption from situations that weren't her fault ). by suppressing those unwanted feelings quietly, she's able to move forward ( albeit , with a heavy heart , but a heart nonetheless ) & resolve whatever issue is at hand. so i don't necessarily believe she gets so absorbed with everything that she doesn't have time. if it's urgent & she can feel things slipping, she'll do her best to make time for it.

v. all in all, there are many ways to make tifa loml lockhart happy ; but quality time & music are the top two i wanted to elaborate on.

#meta tbt #furiaei #honestly im leaning so heavily on the idea of writing with the guidance of hcs bc jdskdjs #thats just how we roll on sevnthhart ig ✋#this went dhjsd a little off topic but ykw it is what it is #my ill brain just wanted to write about her this morning #im also feeling heavily canon divergent so :'))

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chibi-taylormoon · 1 year

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Are you still doing the character posts? I'd love to hear your thoughts on Yusaku.

Yusaku!!!

How I feel about this character:

I adore Yusaku so very much, I will literally beat anyone up to defend him because not only is he just such a good character, he is a good and sweet person despite all that he went through. Yusaku is very socially awkward, but he has a big heart. Plus he is very smart, he knows so much when it comes to technology even at his age. He is very driven and an all around very good character and duelist with many skills with different mastered summoning methods! Anyone that says anything negative about Yusaku are tasteless.

All the people I ship romantically with this character:

Ryoken! They had the makings of being childhood best friends with mutual feelings as they got older. But then, that didn't work out because of the lost incident. Ryoken was literally Yusaku's savior and Yusaku was very determined to free Ryoken of any guilt and burdens created by his father. Yusaku wanted to be Ryoken's friend, he got his feelings across during there duel. Those two understand eachother very well, and are such a good pairing. As a couple, Ryoken would do anything to fill the loneliness left in Yusaku's heart.

my non-romantic otp for this character:

Kusanagi! Yusaku and Kusanagi had a very brotherly bond, or even more than just that; Kusanagi was like a father figure to Yusaku. Those two looked after one another, Yusaku understood the pain Kusanagi was feeling because of what happened to his brother, Yusaku wanted to help Kusanagi very much. In return, Kusanagi looked after Yusaku and gave him food and free coffees, he gave him a safe place in the food truck to do his job in link vrains. Kusanagi was also very smart and protected Yusaku at every chance by hacking and creating means of escape when things got dangerous. Their bond is just so very good! Best hackers wanting revenge team!

my unpopular opinion about this character:

It is very upsetting to see opinions about Yusaku being boring or not a good protagonist. I've seen people say soulburner/Takeru should've been the main character of vrains...and all I gotta say is NO! Yusaku IS a great protagonist, he is so very driven and kind despite all the trauma he went through. Yusaku was kidnapped at 6 years old, he was electrocuted and withdrawn from food if he didn't win against an AI in a duel. That's so scarring for a young kid, and then for him to get out and not have his parents either? His trauma is heartbreaking but that didn't stop Yusaku from bonding eventually with Kusanagi and Takeru, people that understand him truly. He is a sweet boy and deserves every ounce of love and appreciation.

One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon:

I wish Yusaku had a happier ending! Kusangi has his brother and they're working together making up for lost time, Takeru goes back home to his grandparents and Kiko. Yusaku doesn't really have anyone! Even Ryoken leaves and heals from his guilt! But then you have Yusaku skipping school still and spending his time in vrains in search of Ai who troubled him. Yusaku could've resolved that maybe Ai vanishing was the start to a new life and he can move on and heal.

Yusaku can go to school and hang out with Aoi and they can be best friends. Yusaku really deserved something better, I want him and Aoi to be best friends and they can smile and laugh together! Include Jin in that! Yusaku, Jin, Aoi besties trio! They hang out at Kusanagi's food truck after school! Literally, Kusanagi would love seeing all the kids being happy and bonding. Let Yusaku smile and be happy!! Let Ai go, don't spend so much time in the vrains. If he truly can come back, Ai will eventually find his way back to Yusaku on his own.

#yusaku fujiki #vrains #I will protect Yusaku with my whole soul #I love him

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alyjojo · 11 months

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June 🦜 2023 Monthly - Aries

Whole of your energy: The Devil

For numbers, you have 1313 with Cycles & Reflection. 101010 & The World all showing an ending to a cycle, in a romantic partnership for the majority of you, 2 Cups is attached to this, but it doesn’t have to be romantic. For many it is. If platonic, there is mutual love for the other person, even if something has to end. The Devil can be so many things, addictions, negative cycles, toxic behaviors, feeling trapped, things like lust & obsession, greed, etc. You’re planning for your escape, and you know it’s going to bring a Tower down when you do. Whoever you’re dealing with probably won’t see this coming.

Your meditation started in a hallway, as always, and your door along with most others were flying down the other direction, and snapping back like a spring. Over and over, it hurt my head. Inside, a roller coaster 🎢 was going up and down and up and down, also hurt my head. I imagine this is how you’re feeling and there’s some level of toxic behavior in your relationship with this person. It’s important to note that on the other side of the hallway, Virgo and Scorpio’s doors were just chilling in one spot, not chaotic at all. That may or may not resonate, I found it worth noting.

What’s going on in June:

Ace of Pentacles:

This is a solid opportunity with the potential to grow into something beautiful, your Queen of Cups person is attached to this. It could also be relating to finances, if you’ve been recently single from them, you, them or both of you have been working on your finances, feeling more comfortable in your independent selves, definitely taking a break from each other if not completely separated yet. Either they’re planning a Tower, or you are. One of you could have a tendency to focus on the negatives of every situation, or apply drastic action to everything. Like if it’s bad, must be a Tower, can’t just be an inconvenience, something to discuss and fix. I can’t just not like this flavor of yogurt, I’m NEVER EATING YOGURT AGAIN. Overly dramatic. Could be part of The Devil behavior.

Queen of Cups:

This is your person, and they’re not reversed, showing they’re someone kind, nurturing, emotional, mothering in their nature, and very loving. They also have a deep love for you. This person is needing to heal, or you/they may be trying to heal the connection between you, but that is not being reciprocated by the other person. There has been an apology for defensive words and actions that have been said, could be some of this negative or drastic thinking & action, and the proposal for a new start. It’s also possible there is one person trying for a new beginning together, and the other person is defending themselves in having a new beginning on their own. Whoever is on the receiving end of Devil energy is tired of it.

4 Swords:

This is healing, taking a much needed respite and a break from all things love related. It’s not that love isn’t there, but it has been wounded. Someone could also be dealing with an illness that forces them to take a time out from dealing with this right now, and if so there’s no hurt meant by that they just need a break. There is a natural ending of a cycle here that is destined or karmic in nature. If you’ve been split from this person for some time, it’s exactly as it’s supposed to be. The Fool comes later, which always follows The World, you can’t have an ending without a new beginning and you both have both. I just don’t know if it’s together.

2 Pentacles rev:

You or they seem to be realizing a lot in the time spent apart from each other, especially that one person is just happier. I can’t tell which of you, hopefully you being your reading. When you’re together, there’s too much going on, it feels chaotic, like a roller coaster, and there are heated opinions, lack of patience, lack of balance, nothing changes. When you’re apart, whoever is trying to get out of this is realizing that they feel happy when they’re not jumping through hoops or being shot back and forth, back and forth, over and over again. It’s exhausting, could be why 4 Swords is here in the first place, how long can you sustain this chaotic kind of energy?

Justice:

This is making the most logical, balanced, and fair decision, which is to cut off this relationship and end it for good. 10 Swords can be swift and painful, that could be The Tower you’re/they’re planning for at the start, but maybe don’t know quite how to do it. The Fool follows this, and it’s why you (I assume) want this to happen. You don’t want to stay in this, there are other opportunities out there waiting for you to show up and based on this break period, you’re realizing it’s what’s best for you.

Signs you may be dealing with:

All signs are here. Gemini, Aries, Capricorn, Leo & Cancer the most.

Oracles: ✨

76 Cycles

The wind blows, the wheel turns. We go through cycles just like Nature because we are a part of Nature.

58 Reflection

Time to focus, balance, reflect, and guide yourself past stumbling blocks to take the right actions.

10 Burden 🫠

Many times we take on the stress of those we love and care for. We see it as the ultimate sacrifice. We take on others’ burden to save them the trouble or heartache. Ironically, the way energy and the universe work makes this a very counterproductive way of operating. When we take on the burdens of others, we deny them the ability to learn and grow from their own lessons. We also interfere with divine planning and timing. Never one to be thwarted - any lessons circumvented will absolutely reappear - sometimes with much more force than what was originally intended.

Ask yourself if you or another is taking on troubles and lessons not belonging to them out of a need to be needed. This stems from the fear that you (or they) are fundamentally not enough. This is not true, you are created perfect. Your fears and doubts keep you separated from this truth. This is the separation one can feel from Spirit. Once you accept and believe you are perfect and worthy, the tendency to make yourself invaluable to others through your help and assistance will go away. Your relationships can then be based on truth and not manipulation.

We enter into June as:

Pink From Pinkton 💗

“I am more than I think I am.”

Pink shows us the process of self-awareness. Are you trying to recapture a past moment that no longer fits? You may have outgrown something, and while it can be a challenge to admit it, being fully who you are is much more glorious than trying to fit yourself into the past. If you are presently upset or struggling with a difficult situation, it may be because you are trying to make something work when it simply can’t. You may be seeking to keep something far less than what you deserve. With self-awareness and discovery comes a new obligation, using your new knowledge. New ideas, projects & opportunities can only come if you stop blocking them.

What is to be learned in June:

The Loden Lesson 🪴

“It was by taking the right action that I found the road out.”

You must take action, do not expect that something is going to change without some doing on your part. It is also important to know that while things may seem bleak, that is only your perception. Life may feel difficult at present, but The Loden Lesson is simple, the only way out of stagnation is motion. If we decide to sit and do nothing, we must accept the responsibility of the decision. You may also be in a situation you feel is dead or finished. Pray for clarity, and wait for a response. It is vital that you do not make any decisions from an emotionally distraught state.

Green may be a lucky color 💚

#Aries tarot reading #monthly reading #June 2023 #Aries #tarot #tarotblr #astroblr

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cherrycola27 · 1 year

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I’ll give u my thoughts on all opinions on who she would choose and why cause I’m bored

“Ima put myself in the situation on why it why not I would or wouldn’t end up with yk who”

Reader ends up by herself- well she stays with herself and her son bc she healed and realize she doesn’t need any of them and is much happier just traveling around the world

Reader ends up with rooster- of course this would be the ending I’d want only because I believe reader will never stop loving her first husband and well joe was kinda there for her but because she was grieving they got together to quickly and of course she fell in love with him quickly. Like he was my first love and husband of my first child of course we fought and for example it’s like greys anatomy okay WAIT here me out when (spoiler) Derek died that was Meredith’s love of her life and yes she fell in love with Andrew but like she said it before if Derek were to magically to be alive again she would leave Derek in a instant bc no one compares. Which I think it’s somewhat like this yes she fell in love with jake but rooster will forever be her first love and if he dies she would want him to be alive. Hopefully that made sense but like I worded it weirdly.

Reader ends up with jake- now I think this one would be a little bit hard bc I do believe jake broke her more and if she did truly love him she would have noticed before she married rooster and had a kid. But I wouldn’t say she can’t end up with him bc it is possible bc maybe she fell out of love for rooster but in this case she didn’t. So I don’t think this would be an option only because from the chapters I have read I don’t think she would end up with him.

Reader ends up with both- okay so rooster and Jake have actually spent these weeks or months trying to get used to eachother while reader travels and they realize they both love reader and would do anything for them and they start apologizing to each other for having those fights between them and reader ends up picking both and rooster and Jake bc very close and protective over reader and the little one.

[of course in my opinion if I physically put myself in her position…I think I would chose Bradley BECAUSE like I said if my husband died and I fell in love with someone else and then a year later I found out he was alive yea I do love this other person but that love would never compare to the love I had for my husband the father of my child and would leave that other person and go back to my husband. Yes the both hurt me in ways but in reality Jake had no right to threaten us if he truly loved us he wouldn’t have done that and what rooster did was also not nice but he never threatened us all he did was no tel us about his life WHICH he left the instant he found his memory’s again and if that doesn’t show he doesn’t love us what does. He could have gotten his memories but stayed over there in his new life but he didn’t. He came back to us. I also don’t think I’d ever forgive Jake i can forgive rooster bc what he didn’t wasn’t bad yes he has anger issues but look at it from his point of view he lived a different life bc he didn’t know who he was but he found out and came running back. You see what I’m trying to get here?? I don’t think I’d stay alone bc I love both and the one I’d chose would be Bradley my husband. So out of all those options I’d chose Bradley.]

PHEWWW THAT WAS LONGGG ASF

Babe, I feel like you were defending a thesis, and I am here for it! I hope you enjoy the epilouge when it comes out!

#anon ask #ask nik #cherrycola27 #till death?

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forabetterlifethanthis · 1 year

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Hoping For Happiness

Today, I felt happiness. I was happy. I felt good about things. I was haplessly happy in a haze of happy happy hope. I know, I know. It won’t last, but the fact that I am still capable of feeling happiness betokens that all is not quite lost. Most still is.

I haven’t felt this for a long time. I was happy because I had good news about my retinal detachment. I went to a private hospital to see the top retinal consultant in the country, and I now am facing the prospect of three months with no vision as opposed to perpetual blindness. Do you care about the medical side? Probably not. So I’ll tell you about it. The retinal people I saw yesterday were fairly obdurate that putting oil in my retina was the only option for me. Which would solve the issue of having a detached retina, but would have the mild side-effect of ruining the vision. The wonderful consultant I saw today gave me a different opinion. She thinks the detachment may be able to be ameliorated with a long-lasting gas bubble. She believes the cause of the flashing is fluid I have in the retina which is rubbing on the detached area and causing my brain to not know how to interpret the light signals. The idea is that the gas bubble would protect the area and allow it to heal. The best part is that it would stop the fluid from excoriating my retina, and so the flashing should stop!

The feeling of relief that I felt when I heard this is indescribable. So I’ll describe it. I felt tension in all my muscles just melt away in an instant, and as if a big dark ball in my chest was lifted and floated away. Obviously, things could go wrong. But this was just that little dapple of hope that I needed. I will grasp it with both hands and gobble it up/down.

My surgery is booked for 12 days’ time. I am also going to be having my right eye operated on on the same day. I am very excited and hopeful that at least one will work out. I just need to sit tight until then and do my best to ignore the sirens in my head. They are very loud today. Angry and red flashes, as if there is a demon in my head that knows it’s about to be emancipated. The swirling lights are a lot more benign. I can live with them.

Anyway, that’s good news for you! I’ll be in an unbloggable state after the surgery and so you will get a well-deserved break from me. I hear you crying. Crying hooray! I’ll also endeavor to keep these posts shorter. The last thing I would want would be to bore my dear reader. But after a scary start, my little conquest for better life takes its first few tentative steps forwards. It will be a sinuous and vertiginous road, but one with an ending. Knowing that and living by it gives me so much strength. That may sound warped to you, but it gives me and my fragile mind a nice sense of equanimity. Even if I’m talking to myself more than anyone, it feels good to me.

I recall hearing somewhere, “where there is love, there is hope”. I personally find it a lot easier to love when I have hope. I know that I am loved by many. This will be the oddest gripe you will hear, but I do find this difficult. I feel like I am under pressure to get better, and if I don’t, then I am letting them down. I suppose one advantage of being unloved is not having to meet the expectations of those that love you. People say that family and close friends will/should love you unconditionally. I think this is true to a degree, but I do feel from my experiences that they don’t want to talk about the negative parts of life. We like to focus on the good things and happy moments and the prospect of future happier times. This makes me feel like nobody wants to hear about my problems. Sometimes I want to scream to someone that everything is really shit right now and for them to just agree with me. But this engenders a fear within me that I will make people distance themselves from me, or get called “toxic” or “triggering”. All of which has happened to me in the past. Ugh.I really don’t understand people. If someone came to me with their problems I would be touched. Am I out of touch with people? No, people are out of touch with me.

#pain #retina #vision #life #death #chronicpain #chronicillness #motivation #depression #anxiety #bpd #fuckoff

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rachaelnpc · 1 year

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Merry Christmas!

I don't want to be your mom anymore and want the family to myself. You shouldn't have come back, I thought you knew they were mine, not to be shared. This is my world and I don't want you in it. Maybe moving is a good idea?

Thinking of how awful you are to me,

Mom

Perspective- One can look at things and see many different things, different stories, different perspectives. Where is the truth? Is it all truth, it just depends on the angle or is someone tilting your head? If they are tilting your head is that so bad? Now you can see it through their eyes. You understand them, you see their pain. You sympathize with how that must have affected them. You think, 'None of what I have experienced matters, they are connecting, they are in more pain. You want to help them. You have also felt pain but not like they have.

You start to feel safe and you reach up real high to try to get them to see your perspective but they don't want to be shown, they won't look down. What happens when you try to explain it, as a child, and you are told you are living in the past, let it go, have thick skin, you are taking it too personal, don't get so worked up. You try to go to someone who will listen. To explain what you are feeling because you can't make the sadness go away it keeps coming back, getting worse. The person listening is concerned and upset, saying something. Now everyone is upset and it is your fault. You shouldn't have opened your mouth. They tell you if there are issues to share them inside only. That doesn't feel safe. *remembering the attempts in the past, sharing feelings with only them and how upest everyone became.* You start to wonder why all of your feelings of pain is hurting everyone around you. You feel this way over and over and over. Sometimes all you do is say you like something, if they don't like it they firmly claim how you picked it on purpose because they don't like it and storm off. Your opinions don't matter. It gets to a point you don't say much but agree and follow. When they are upset everyone feels it. You don't want to be the one who caused it. The most painful part is how the others view you and are saying the same things to you. You believe it all to be true.

The only ones listening to you are on the outside. Maybe you are not explaining the perspective shown to you earlier when you connected? Maybe they are missing the key piece that would cause them to see it from everyone on the inside's view? You share it all. They seem more upset. Again, you are sharing causing conflict. This feels like big conflict. It sends ripples through the family. When will you learn to keep your mouth shut. You start to hide, write, draw, cry, create. You find friends who love you for you. Who care and believe in you. You have safe people. You are still hopeful when you grow up you will have more knowledge on how to connect with them. Like becoming an adult will grant you the secrets to life.

College was rough. The pressure to know what you want to become. All of the change. People like you. They don't answer, they don't reach out, your room is gone, they seem...happy. Happier than before you left. You visit, it ends in tears and conflict. Again, You are the common denominator. The first chance you get to leave, you take it. You don't want to cause anymore conflict, you want them to be happy.

They don't reachout. You ask them to visit but they don't. You make it a point to visit because you miss them. They leave or have other plans while you are there. It hurts. You have your own life to focus on and healing to do. There is no reason to talk about it incase it creates an issue. You want to connect but there is this fear of rejection. You have heard them reject people, seen them reject people and watched them get rejected.

If there was a way to trust them. They make your whole body tense, you feel small, you feel guilt, you feel ashamed, embarrassed. You have tried to open up to them while feeling this way before. It didn't end well. It may start off great until there is a disagreement. If you don't agree it will not be good.

You come back over a decade later. You are at your lowest. You couldn't think of anywhere else to go. Things seem to go well. You are hesitant. You are starting to trust it. Is it working because you have grown as an adult? Is it because you are choosing your words carefully when expressing differences? Then conflict occurs. It is from an action you took. When confronting the conflict it feels like a trap. Why are they talking about you instead of with you? Why is this conflict growing? Everyone seems upset because of your action. Take the action back, apologize, stand up for yourself, was your action worth this response? They shut you out, they won't listen, you can see their perspective. Again, they don't try to see anyone else's perspective, only their own. People are getting hurt again. You are realizing it was never your fault to begin with, they only made it seem that way.

When there is an issue communication, understanding and patience is key. Without these things it is hard to resolve conflict. You see where you can improve for next time. They don't seem to want a next time. Did they ever love you? Did they ever try? Was this all a power and control cycle? Are they okay? Are you okay?

There is truth to be told. You shared it, people were upset because it wasn't okay how you were being treated. Abuse doesn't have to have marks. The ones in it with you make excuses for the poor behavior, empathizing. You have done the same but eventually the same hurtful behavior seems intentional. They don't want to go to therapy. What are the options to fix the issue? It is left up to whatever they want since they are the one wronged. What about how everyone else feels? What about how you feel? They made you feel aweful so you left your family. When you came back they pushed you out of the family the moment you messed up by stating your truth.

You set yourself free. It was not your fault. You tried your best. You were trying to do what you needed for yourself. There is nothing that you could have done differently to make it better. Even if you did everything perfectly there still would have been conflict.

[Once they understand their pain they can better control it. Like airbending. Transmute it into something beautiful. Learn from what happened inorder to grow. To become their best self.]

It is what I continue to try to do so the darkness in the pain doesn't consume me.

#Spotify

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shadowed-dancer · 2 years

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Idk about others, but the reason I want Dabi to not be a completely horrible, evil, irredeemable monster is because I think it would be a happier ending for the rest of the Todoroki family (specifically Shoto, because he deserved a happy ending) if they could all be reunited and set on a path of healing, rather than have to end the story like "huh, we lost Toya again... well we lived without him just fine for 10 years so-"

#bnha #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha 341 #dabi #bnha dabi #toya todoroki #touya todoroki #he's a fun villain either way #love the chaos he kicks up #but in terms of ending the story #we have to consider how Dabi's fate would impact his family #and in my opinion it's a happier ending if they can all start to heal

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obiwanobi · 3 years

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I'm just so very enamored with the idea of Dooku als Obi-Wans Master at the moment. There are so many possibilities, I'm going crazy. I love your writing style and your ideas, so I would be so very happy to know your thoughts about this.

At first, I was going to say “oh, is this a nice AU where taking Obi-Wan as his padawan makes Dooku stay in the Order and the whole lineage is happier?” but then I thought, ‘wait, no, I’m only here to make a dramatic tragedy out of everything’ and I got really into it and wrote 2k about it 🤷‍♀️

So let’s say that Qui-Gon still takes Obi-Wan as his padawan first, and that’s how he meets his grandmaster, Dooku, who’s still a Jedi at this point in time.

Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan aren’t a good match at first, and it’s the same, even a bit worse than that, in this AU: Obi-Wan might be grateful to have been chosen and be eager to learn, but their rocky start as a master and padawan duo and their very different approach to, well, basically everything, make things a bit awkward.

But Dooku? Obi-Wan adores Dooku.

Dooku is the antithesis of Qui-Gon; he is a fascinating orator, has a practical mind, favours a pragmatic approach to problems, and is also one of the best duellists in the Temple. And he’s almost certain that Dooku likes him too. His grandmaster might be intimidating at first (he’s even taller than master Jinn for Force’s sake,) but he also raised Qui-Gon, so the man has seen it all and can’t be surprised by anything anymore. When he comes to visit Qui-Gon, Dooku never forgets to ask Obi-Wan how his training is going, what form he likes the best (Obi-Wan doesn’t miss the opportunity to say that he finds Makashi particularly elegant and almost gets a smile in return) and one day, he even ends up helping him write a geopolitical paper about a planet Dooku has spent almost a year on. It warms Obi-Wan to feel a connection to their lineage when he doesn’t really understand his own master, and watching Dooku and Qui-Gon, two very different personalities, getting along so well, also gives him hope that he will one day have the same type of relationship with his master.

But then, Melida/Daan happens.

Obi-Wan decides to stay, and Qui-Gon leaves the planet with one less padawan. It takes a bit of time before Dooku manages to get Qui-Gon to talk about what happened and where is his favourite grandpadawan, but when he realises that Qui-Gon left Obi-Wan in a warzone, Dooku is outraged, and is on Melida/Daan three days later to formally ask Obi-Wan to reconsider leaving the Order. It takes a bit of time before Obi-Wan truly starts thinking about it, because “Master Jinn will never take me back. I’m very sorry, Master Dooku, but he was the only one who was willing to take me as his padawan. No one else will, especially now.” and Dooku scoffs, because he wouldn’t travel to the outer rim for anyone, and of course he’s planning to personally train him. He saw the potential in him, and would hate to see it go to waste. All of this if Obi-Wan can assure him that he won’t rebel at every opportunity, of course, because he won’t accept the betrayal of his trust.

They both leave the planet together, as Master and Padawan.

The next few months are... strenuous. Adapting to Dooku’s teaching methods is harder than Obi-Wan expected. His new master asks for discipline, practicality and complete control of oneself at all time, and doesn’t accept any nonsenses. It’s not something Obi-Wan really knows how to do after months with Qui-Gon “don’t think, just do” Jinn. There is also a new distance between Dooku and Qui-Gon that Obi-Wan knows is his fault, but can’t do much about it; he still hasn’t said more than two words to Qui-Gon since Melida/Daan (apologies that his master- former master accepted with a cordial bow and that was it) and is in no hurry to change that.

Nevertheless, Obi-Wan is happy. Dooku might be a bit snobbish, makes imperious demands and even disagrees with the Council just like his former padawan, but he also explains to Obi-Wan why his decisions and insistence on certain parts of his training are necessary, doesn’t shy away from philosophical questions about the Force or the Order (even if his opinion is sometimes bordering on blasphemy,) and is, after all, one of the most skilled Master in the Temple. He might be a severe figure of authority to everyone else, but his hidden smile at a witty remark from his padawan, or the use of a diplomatic loophole to get his way without having to ignite his lightsaber, always gets him a gentle hand on his shoulder and an almost-satisfied smile. It’s more than enough for him.

And then, Qui-Gon brings Anakin Skywalker to the Temple.

Obi-Wan tries not to think too much about the rumours that say that he went all the way to the outer rim to get himself a new padawan. A padawan he chose this time. A padawan who’s the Chosen One.

“Ridiculous,” Master Dooku scorns, his expression so dismissive that the few gossipy padawans (and knights!) around scatter in a second. “I saw the boy, and if this raggedy child is the Chosen One who’s supposed to save us all, we should all start building our own funeral pyre to save us some time.”

“Master, really,” Obi-Wan sighs, half-reprimand, half-amusement. He’s still glad his master shares his distaste with the idea of taking a child too old and too attached.

And then, Qui-Gon Jinn almost dies on Naboo.

The other Jedi that went with him doesn’t have the same luck. Dooku doesn’t huff and roll his eyes this time. He does spend a lot of time in the Halls of Healing at his former padawan’s bed. Apparently, Qui-Gon has been badly hurt, and if he should walk again soon, probably with a walking stick, he will never be able to maintain enough stamina to fight with a lightsaber again. It doesn’t stop him from wanting to train the boy, and even the Council and Dooku, for once on the same side, aren’t enough to dissuade him.

And then, everything goes too fast.

Obi-Wan is talking about possible hidden Sith in the galaxy at the breakfast table, and suddenly Dooku says “I’m leaving the Order”, and then he’s knighted by a master who tells him he’s glad his last accomplishment as a Jedi is something he’s proud of, and then his master leaves without a real explanation, and then they make a bust of him in the library like he’s dead, and Obi-Wan asks himself if he’s going to feel abandoned all his life.

And then, Anakin Skywalker bumps into him.

“You’re Obi-Wan!” he says way too loudly, looking up at him in wonder.

It’s Knight Kenobi to you, a voice that sounds suspiciously like his master echoes in his mind. But no matter how much Obi-Wan admires his master, he could never be as rigid as him.

“Master Qui-Gon said you were his padawan once,” Anakin says, excited, and Obi-Wan has never wanted to run from a conversation that badly before. “And that you were... the padawan of my... grandmaster? I think? So that means we’re sort of like cousins, right?”

“Not really, no. Jedi don’t think about the Order as a traditional family. I don’t mean that we’re not one, young one,” he adds when Anakin’s expression turns to dejection, “we just have a different approach to kinship. In a way, we’re all brothers and sisters.”

And that, of course, is the exact thing he shouldn't have said.

“So you’re my brother then? Wizard! I’ve never had a brother before! Does that mean you will spar with me? I want to learn EVERYTHING about lightsabers, for example, do they have unlimited energy? Can it really go through everything? Because I heard beskar—”

Obi-Wan isn’t proud to say that he feels the urgent need to get away from him and never come in contact with that child ever again.

But after their first encounter, Anakin doesn’t leave him any choice. Every time Obi-Wan gets some time off, the padawan is here, scarily good at annoying him until Obi-Wan gives up pretending to ignore him.

He probably should be sterner with him. After all, he doesn’t own the child anything. But Anakin is always so happy to see him, impressed when Obi-Wan demonstrates the most acrobatic of Ataru’s movements, and eager to learn from him. Sometimes, he imagines Master Dooku’s face confronted with Anakin, and can’t help but laugh out loud. It helps to forget the void Dooku left in his life for a time.

(There aren’t a lot of holos sent to him from Serenno these days. Dooku must be busy.)

“My master can’t fight,” Anakin says petulantly one day, plopping down on Obi-Wan’s couch like the sulky teenager he is, “He’s restricted to the Temple or boring political missions, and so am I because of him. All he does is tell me to meditate and make me ‘reflect on my feelings’, or whatever that means. How good can a master be if he can’t teach me to protect myself and others?”

“Anakin,” Obi-Wan warns, kicking the padawan’s feet away from the caf table, “please tell me you didn’t say these exact insensitive words to your master right before slamming the door and coming here.”

Of course he did, Obi-Wan thinks when Anakin starts a rant about being held back and how stupid meditation is. That night, Obi-Wan forces him to sincerely apologise to his master after a brief fight ("stop nagging at me, Obi-Wan! You’re not my master!” “Well, apparently, you don’t even respect your own master, so I’m very glad I’m not.”) and is just a bit stunned when he finds Qui-Gon Jinn on his doorstep a few days letter, asking him if he would agree to take Padawan Skywalker on his next off-world mission.

Obi-Wan really, really wants to say no. He only taught Anakin a few Ataru moves that the lightsaber’s instructor normally doesn’t introduce until a few years later because Anakin wouldn’t accept a no from him, he never signed up to co-parent a defiant padawan! Especially Qui-Gon’s padawan. The entire conversation between them is already awkward enough.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“No?” Qui-Gon replies, sipping his tea like they’re discussing the weather. “You’ve done a good job at teaching him some rationality and a few duelling tricks until now. I haven’t been able to wield a lightsaber for a while now, but it’s hard to miss the handprint of my own master all over Anakin’s sudden blend of Ataru and Makashi in his movements.” Obi-Wan is pretty sure his ears and his face are burning by now. “Don’t you think he could benefit from some real experience? Maybe start to put things in perspective? Show him why the diplomatic skills and temperance we preach are so important even for the violent or difficult conflicts we’re asked to solve?”

And really, what is he supposed to say to that?

Qui-Gon leaves his quarters before he manages to gather the courage to ask why he chose him of all knights for this task. It really doesn’t make any sense to Obi-Wan.

The very next day, Anakin shows up at the hangar bay ready to see the stars, bag on his shoulder and enough excitement to make the whole ship vibrate under his feet.

“If you cause problems on purpose, I’ll send you back to your master faster than you can say pod-racing.”

“I promise I won’t, Knight Kenobi,” Anakin replies, all angelic smile and respectful padawan face. It’s the first time Anakin has called him by his title, and somehow it sounds a bit wrong.

Anakin does end up causing problems on purpose. It’s ridiculous but also kind of genius, so Obi-Wan only shakes his head and says “you’re really going to be the death of me.”

And for some years, it works. Qui-Gon stays Anakin’s master, but he does send him to learn from other masters and knights. More and more, though, Anakin asks for Obi-Wan, and Qui-Gon rarely refuses.

“You two are the last people I thought would get along,” Mace Windu tells them a few successful missions later, after witnessing them bantering back and forth from their respective beds in the Halls of Healing. “Nonetheless, I’m glad you do. It’s good to see close lineages strengthening their bond to each other.”

Anakin blinks so many time at the compliment that Obi-Wan doesn’t hesitate a second before throwing his pillow at his face the second Windu leaves the room.

It’s a shame that Obi-Wan never manages to ask Qui-Gon about why he trusted him with his padawan.

Because Qui-Gon dies on Geonosis.

He shouldn’t have been there, Obi-Wan and Anakin keep saying. But they both know that you can’t stop Qui-Gon Jinn to do what he wants. He shouldn’t have gone to Kamino by himself, he shouldn’t have followed the bounty hunter to Geonosis, He shouldn’t have been in this arena, he shouldn’t have been killed before the help has come. He shouldn’t have died right in front of his former master— because of his former master.

Anakin’s master died that day, but when Obi-Wan saw Master Dooku ordering the attack on the Jedi, he felt like he was losing two masters at the same time.

Now there is a war coming, and the Council is talking about Master Dooku being a Sith, and he should stop saying Master Dooku, he knows, and people are asking how good can a Jedi be when raised by a traitor, and Yoda is talking to him about knighting Anakin and what he thinks about it like he’s his master now, and Anakin refuses to talk to him, and that probably has to do with the fact that he lost an arm and a father-figure to Obi-Wan’s master, and Obi-Wan would like to sleep for an entire year now, thank you very much.

#dooku and anakin: hate at first sight #can I make obi-wan's life more depressing? the answer is yes #obi wan kenobi #dooku #qui gon jinn #anakin skywalker #clem's aus #asks #anon #dooku and kenobi au

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silvysartfulness · 3 years

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I've gotten a whole bunch of new followers since I started making The Untamed content about a year ago, and I think it may be a good time to introduce myself and this blog to the newcomers.

Hi! ♥

I'm glad you find this chaotic mess entertaining enough to want to stick around!

That said, if you don't feel comfortable with who I am and/or what I post, just unfollow at any time, no explanations needed.

I'm Silvy, I'm a Fandom Old, 40+, and have been involved in online fandom since the late 90ies.

I'm neurodivergent, Aspie/ADHD and some spare change. I hyperfocus on things, and love to analyze fictional characters and tropes, especially things to do with the messiness and complexities of human nature and emotion. At the moment, as should be obvious, I live in the The Untamed universe, especially the Yi City corner. (You don't get emotions much messier and more complex than that!)

I have always been fascinated by ”villains” - the people who don't act like others do, who are different, and who hurt people, sometimes without meaning to. (Sometimes very much meaning to.)

I love redemption arcs. I've grown to realize there's a this recent phenomenon happening online where people claim certain fictional characters don't ”deserve” them. I think that's utter bullshit, and an extremely negative and destructive mindset to have. People should always have the chance to change and do better. Everyone makes mistakes. Some worse than others. But while no one ”deserves” forgiveness, unless it's freely given, everyone should have the chance to change, move on and be better.

I have always been fascinated by fiction as a medium to explore the messiness of humanity. Of how people hurt each other and heal each other and grow either way. The mess of who people end up loving, or hating, or - bittersweetly - both at once. In my opinion, that is the very purpose of fiction – the mirror held up to explore our own humanity, without suffering any of the negative consequences of reality. Yes, that includes the really problematic stuff. Yes, all the problematic stuff. Fiction is not reality.

I have 100% understanding for people who don't want to watch or read certain things – don't self-harm by engaging with content and creators that makes you angry and upset! I also have 0% patience with people demanding others conform to their particular standards of purity. It's everyone's responsibility to curate their own online experience. Haters will be blocked.

I'm queer (no, queer is not a slur.) Non-straight, asexual, married to another woman for 6 years now. I'd say a majority of my best friends are trans or otherwise non-cis. If you’re cis and find trans/non-binary/intersex/non-gender conforming etc people strange and frightening, by all means – stick around! I reblog quite a lot of trans-positive content. Maybe it'll offer insights! Any TERF-rhethoric will be blocked and shut down on sight, though. This is a safe space.

I'm Swedish. Socialism works. Just saying. 👍

These are simple facts – if any of the above is a dealbreaker, just click unfollow and everyone will probably be happier in the long run. :)

The less problematic stuff: I'm a professional illustrator, though currently on more or less permanent sick leave. Despite sometimes crippling social anxiety, I also ended up teaching art classes - Life Drawing and Concept Art - at the local university, and was often told I was one of their most popular and well-liked guest teachers. I'm self-taught as a writer, though I am a sponge when it comes to prose and language, so for any skills I have picked up over the years, I can only thank those whose works I have read throughout my life.

I like trying my hand at most creative crafts; painting, woodcarving, glasspainting, pewter pouring, looking to try out resins soon maybe..? I take tons upon tons of pictures. If you know me better, you have probably been exposed to my random ”Look at pretty thing X I saw today!” photo-assault. (It's a love language. ♥)

I used to study archaeology at university for years, before sidling over into a creative career as a museum-illustrator, and then onward to other projects from there. It's amazing what a 100.000+ year view on humanity will do for your sense of perspective! People are people. People have always been people. We are all one people - and diversity in culture, ethnicity and language is one of the most beautiful arts of our human race. Our differences and samenesses always to be equally celebrated. (Now if we could only get better at looking back and learn from previous civilizations' mistakes so we'd stop repeating them...)

I like cats. And betta fish. And purple roses (I used to collect purple rose cultivars, before I got too fatigued to be able to take care of my garden properly. Some still live! Rhapsody In Blue is a trooper, if you want a really hardy purple rose! They can even live in pots, if you don't have a garden.)

(See, I told you I could never resist a chance to share a photo...)

I am very, very forgetful. I got my neurodivergence diagnoses very late in life, and by then my brain was so burned out, it's permanently damaged. Fatigue, memory problems and concentration issues are things I always struggle with. If I ghost you, it's not because I'm upset or dislike you – I either missed your message, or forgot about it, or just didn’t know what to say. I'm sorry. I'm trying my best. ♥

I believe in kindness.

I try to be kind and understanding, and meet others with patience. It's taken me a lifetime fraught with generous amounts of trauma to learn to feel strong, comfortable and mostly at peace with myself, and I have very little interest in conflict or drama.

That's about it, Silvy all summed up.

Wishing all you a happy weekend!

#long post #longpost

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thiswaycomessomethingwicked · 3 years

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That ‘Gríma lives at the end of ROTK’ fic would be absolutely everything - I’ve always wanted something with that premise to exist, but of course, there’s hardly any Gríma content out there! If you ever end up writing one, I can’t wait to read it!

💜💜 One day! It might happen! I do have ideas for it.

Like, I have a very specific few scenes in my head and a vague plot where Grima ends up in Lake Town or maybe out near Rhun for a bit involved in Middle Earth's First Printing Press, about which he has many Hot Takes and Spicy Opinions.

But here he is anyway.

Travels back to the Shire regularly for Reasons. Namely, Frodo Gets It and other people don't, necessarily, understand what the ring/dark lord/evil wizard can do to a person's head and sense of self. Frodo understands Grima in a way I don't think anyone else would be able to, and to a certain degree, vice versa. Other than Sam, of course. He gets it, too. But from a different lens. Less broken. etc.

They're manifestly different people, Frodo and Grima. Frodo is stronger to a certain degree, originally came from a happier and more hopeful place, but is absolutely broken at the end. Grima, I think, started broken and just kept going in that direction yet, beneath it, evidently had a will to live and keep striving. Which is shown with the Saruman Murder Scene.

But I think they'd weirdly work as a sort of mutual healing thing. I wrote this in another post about Grima, but it applies regardless - people are wounded through relations to other people, and yet it is also through relationships that healing occurs. I feel like between them all - Frodo, Sam, Merry, Pippin and this fucking weirdo they picked up from Rohan, some balance could be found.

Nothing heals completely - Frodo would still go to the Undying Lands. He still wouldn't be able to make shift in the Shire. But I think some things would be different. Like, he wants so badly to see the good in people, to help people, and he has little opportunity to engage in that in a way that's successful. Fucking Gollum went and yeeted himself, the ring, and Frodo's finger into Mount Doom.

Yet, this presents an opportunity for some successful helping to occur. Which I think is something Frodo needs. Here is Grima, this broken shell of a man, and he is here because of Sauron, because of the despair and fear wrought by men who want to use it as a means to control and contort the world to their liking. And this is an opportunity to show that his journey to Mount Doom wasn't in vain, that those most directly, and irrevocably, impacted by the dark lord and his servants, can be helped and can change for the better. That some good can be found in them.

Grima's this back/forth sort of person. Scared of Sauron/End of the World, doesn't want to die, doesn't want to fight - also, greedy, lustful, selfish, cowardly - little that is nice. And he wants. He is someone who so very clearly wants. He wants love, he wants to belong, he wants safety, recognition, some sense of control - and while he does all this wanting (and it's so much wanting) I can't help but wonder if, beneath it, he doesn't strictly believe he deserves to have everything it is that he wants. Or, if he isn't also a little scared of it. Of himself, even.

I think the journey back home, There and Back Again: Grima's Edition (he sends Frodo letters to include; it's a whole appendix and a half. 90% of it is gossip Grima's picked up while poking around in Lake Town and Bree and other places he goes to while Finding Himself for a few years), I think that journey would be meaningful and - provided Grima is able to be open to it, which he could learn to be - could lead to him being like "maybe I'm not a worm? Maybe I deserve to sleep in the bed and not on the floor and I'm not a half-breed cur and I'm allowed to eat from the table."

Sam does that Growth.Gif bit.

Eventually he does make it back to Rohan and goes through the whole pay-your-weregild journey there. But it's been quite a few years at this point, since the war, and so things are different. And he's different. And Eomer et al are different.

It'd be so weird! And there'd be so, so, so many emotions flying all over the place.

Gods, can't fucking wait.

Ugh I'm so sorry, this became a mini-essay.

Guys, friends, my fellow witches, demons, intergalatic space people, dragons, wanderers - all of you - I just .. i just have a lot of thoughts and feelings about Grima. So many of them. 1100+ of them.

So I'll end it here and just say that this fic might happen. Have to finish my current LOTR rewrite - which does have a Grima Redemption Bit but you know, it's different than this. Very different.

I will say, Grima 100% goes into "must squirrel away food" mode whenever Gandalf is around because he associates White Wizards with Starvation & Murder (& possible cannibalism? because of the aforementioned starvation).

and someone had the fucking gall to say Grima would be the bad roommate between him and Saruman. i'm not still angry about that post that's really old.

Thank you so much for the ask and for the encouragement! It's true, we have precious little good Grima content out there. It's a damn shame. 💜💜

#Grima Wormtongue #LOTR #lord of the rings #ask #reply #anon #rohan #Frodo #this would end up being Griomer related because when Grima gets back to Rohan eventually I can't help but have him and Eomer go OH RIGHT #YOU'RE A THING HELLO HI around each other like the fucking nerds they are #Grima meta #sort of

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