#and it would be difficult to isolate one single event that 'started' it. like i feel like when looking at history
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Ok so I love Ghost In The Shell and I love all your aus
So I gotta ask, if all your aus took place in the Ghost In The Shell universe which ones would be the least awful (awful in the sense of pure danger for the Ghost fam) and which ones would be the most awful
Okie Dokie >:)
(@bluepeachstudios I am once again borrowing Ghost for this)
I'm only gonna do the aus I already have fics published for/talked about at length (with one exception :3)
Starting with the least dangerous/stressful/awful crossover, Same Story Different Font. This one genuinely wouldn't be too difficult on Ghost (assuming he isnt the one that goes dimension hopping again) plus he and Leonardo would instantly try to adopt each other ("WHAT YOU MEAN YOU WERE ISOLATING YOURSELF FOR OVER TWO DECADES?"
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU BECAME A FATHER OF FOUR AT SEVENTEEN?" Their kids would cause the most insane amounts of chaos ever) They would be friends, give them a social life beyond their children
Next up is Lost But Never Found. This one is definitely more stressful on good ole Ghost. The second he realizes Indigo is an alternate version of Leonardo that suffered the exact same fate as him but WORSE...Ghost's heart is gonna fucking SHATTER (Ie, Indigo fell through a portal with no way back home but Big Mama captured him, forced him to fight in the Battle Nexus, COMPLETELY WIPED HIS MEMORIES BECAUSE HE DIDNT WANT TO KILL, continued to force him to fight every single day multiple times a day...yeah that was objectively worse than Ghost's early years. Big Mama better pick a god and PRAY)
The reasons this au is more stressful/dangerous is because A. An alternate version of your brother is HERE instead of back home, and he also has no memory of his old life so how the hell are you gonna get THAT back. And B. Helping Indigo come back down from the "Kill or be killed" mentality and help his adjust to normal mutant turtle life is gonna be really rough, especially when he ends up joining the Mud Dogs and becoming a hitman because he did not feel like he belonged with the Rise fam at all (and its only gonna get worse when he DOES get his memories back ALL AT ONCE :3)
Now into the really stressful/dangerous territory with When The World Crumbles!
Bet you didnt see this one coming ;)
Poor Ghost is definitely gonna need blood pressure medication after this whole ordeal. To keep it brief, the 2012 turtles fall into the Riseverse. They were not trying to GO there at all. They were tring to stop another FULL SCALE KRAANG INVASION. So...
These turtles are in the wrong dimension
Their dimension is currently being INVADED
And to make it worse it has only been TWO MONTHS since Splinter was killed by the Super Shredder.
So the entire is spent trying to hurry and build a working portal to get these kids back home before the Kraang fully destroy their world, and also dealing with the 2012 boys unlocking Ninpo. By suffering immensely the entire time and eventually returning to the 2012 dimension (the Rise kids are going to help to and so will Ghost because duh) and stopping a full scale invasion.
But considering the events of the last couple of chapters, its not gonna be easy. And its only the beginning. (And considering that there will be a SEQUEL fic in Eclipse Across Dimensions...its gonna get so so so much worse. I would actually put Eclipse Across Dimensions as the top most stressful/dangerous time for literally everyone, but considering its a sequel fic to this au and I am nowhere NEAR that far into the story...it stays here for now :3)
Ghost will absolutely adopt these traumatized, orphaned nineteen year olds on sight
And the absolute MOST stressful/dangerous au for the Ghost fam would have to be my newest au (and the one I havent talked that much about, which is why it is the exception to my aforementioned rule) Fractured (Lost) Hamato Clan
Oh boy :)
Aka the au where the 2012 boys gets brain wormed by the Shredder into becoming evil. 2012 Splinter, Casey and April all flee to the Riseverse, the ENTIRE 2012 Footclan FOLLOWING THEM
Which means that on top of the Rise mutants, Rise Footclan, and Barron Draxum the boys will have to deal with
Footbots that learn and ADAPT to every move they make
Extremely dangerous mutant assassins and goons
THE LITERAL 2012 SHREDDER (who not only SURVIVED GETTING FULL ON CHOMPED BY AN 8 FOOT TALL MUTANT ALLIGATOR BUT BEAT THE MUTANT ALLIGATOR. The boys are absolutely fucked)
And evil versions of themselves.
It will be Ghost's literal worst nightmare come true and this happens early in season ONE so they dont even have ninpo to help them, and not even the extra training they had with Ghost will be enough to deal with everything
(When his kids end up fighting The Shredder for the first time, Ghost will swear that he felt his heart stop.)
Its not gonna be a fun time for anyone involved, especially when it comes to confrontations between the 2012 turtles and Rise kids. Because they dont want to hurt them, they literally have an evil parasite in their brains MAKING them do this, making them act this way. (And they're only 17, two years older than Raph, and it breaks Ghost's heart every time he's forced to fight these poor kids.)
However these kids are extremely dangerous.
Because they KNOW the Rise kids, as different ad they are at their cores they're the same person. Which means they know how the Rise kids think, how they behave, what stupid plans they'll come up with.
And how to break them into pieces.
One such example being when 2012 Donnie hacks into the Turtle Tank's system and hijacks it, even going as far as to completely lock the tank down and drain it of OXYGEN to force Donnie, Raph, Mikey and Ghost (Leo was not with them so no portals out) into submission and basically hold them as hostages in their own tank. And thats just ONE example of many, its that bad.
Its gonna be the absolute MOST stressful time of Ghost's life for sure
So in order from least awful to most awful:
Same Story Different Font, Lost But Never Found, When The World Crumbles (and its eventual sequel), and Fractured (Lost) Hamato Clan
Hope you enjoyed anon!
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Hi! I'm pretty new to the MASH fandom and I've only gotten through season 3 of the show so far (have to take a break after that finale) but I know the basics on like "beejhawk" and the 'die in your arms' and the 'bj goes to Maine' but what's with the timeloops i keep hearing about? As far as I know it's just a fanfic thing, but how did the concept of them get so popular in this fandom? I never though MASH of all fandoms would be the one with timeloop fics when the show is going for realism. I'm just so confused, so thank you if you're able to answer this!
hi!! god where to even begin with this... there's lowkey layers to it. i guess the basic thing it stems from is that, for all that MASH might be grounded in realism, the timeline of the show itself is a fucking mess. i guess you haven't really gotten to that so early in the show! but it starts to get real messy later. except it kind of... works, for this show in particular. it's not fanfiction exactly, i'd say it's more of a... theory, or more accurately a reading of canon.
for reference, the Korean War lasted three years, from 1950 to 1953. and yet there are late season episodes where they're somehow still in 1950, despite the fact that the first three seasons seem to take place over the course of at least a year (given that we see them in both winter and summer—and that's being generous and assuming all the different winter episodes scattered throughout those three seasons are all the same winter); and if BJ is already in Korea in 1950 how is Erin's 2nd birthday in 1953?; Potter arrives in 1952 but is also somehow present at the 1951's New Year's party; Trapper experiences events that won't happen until 1953; Potter's grandchild goes from being a newborn to being eight years old in the course of a couple seasons; and that's just some that i can recall off the top of my head
i mean, you can see how it might begin to get difficult for a show with 11 seasons to keep pretending the whole thing takes place in less than 3 years. not that they seem to have tried much. that's syndicated television for you baby!
but beyond the actual like... timeline and lore or whatever. the timeloop thing is also super relevant on a thematic level? metaphorical, even
the characters are all trapped, doing the same thing over and over and over and over and over again with no end goal in mind. periods of boredom where nothing happens, then wounded arrive, surgery that lasts so long they can't even tell day from night, how much time has passed, much less what day of the week it is, then send the soldiers back to the front, period of boredom, wounded, surgery, back to the front, boredom, wounded, surgery, front, boredom, wounded, surgery, front... it's endless, and they can't escape it, and they can't do anything to stop it, either. they're permanently stuck in repetition. and the characters call this out in the show! constantly!
HAWKEYE: Sorry, Margaret. The future's been cancelled by the war department. They're just gonna replay the past.
We're never getting out of here is the single most repeated sentiment in the entire show.
at the same time the warping of time also has to do with trauma. the idea of trauma as a disruption of linear temporality is nothing new, and it can definitely be applied to MASH as a narrative device. the characters are not experiencing time linearly because of the trauma and the repetition and the inevitability and the senselessness and the isolation, everything combined so that they exist in this state of temporal limbo, this bubble where the outside world might as well not exist—and the nonsensical nonlinear timeline makes us, the audience, feel that, experience time the way the characters do. the sense that something's off, that time is weird, that their reality is unreal and senseless and almost supernatural. not how it is in real life. distinctly different and haunted. does that make sense?
there's also something to be said about the nature of the sitcom as a genre and how it lends itself to weird temporalities due to the episodic format, how everything resets to the status quo at the end of the episode and things keep happening over and over. it's just that MASH in particular is not only a very particular case because of how it's based on a historical event (and therefore has set dates and periods and timelines) but also in how the characters are aware of and haunted by this repetition and sense of endlessness, and constantly call it out
time isn't real because they exist outside of it, in their little bubble where they're forced to do the same thing day after day. is that not a timeloop?
#i'm not great at explaining but hopefully that's the gist of it and it made sense. melts into a puddle#txt#also worth mentioning that for all that mash generally tries to be realistic it also has ghosts and psychics. so you know
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Yet untitled Hanahaki disease Fenro’s Fanfic
This morning I was being silly and watching a video about hanahaki fanfics in multiple fandoms and I was curious if a ship I like (fenro) had one so I began searching. To my disappointment and surprise there was just a single one in ao3 and from an orphan account.
I crave content and I started to write my own, I´m yet to get my ao3 account and I decided to publish the thing I wrote here!
Warnings: English is not my first language, if something doesn´t make sense sorry.
Something strange was happening around the world that set emergency alarms ringing. No one knows exactly when did the mess began, it all happen so suddenly, unexpected. A patient zero couldn’t be identified thanks to the multiple cases and the numbers grew day by day. It all pointed to a new disease, highly contagious it seemed, as soon enough it turned to a global event. The cause remained yet unknown, the scientist tried his best to gather clues, symptoms, all information to try to figure out this sickness that was starting to takes peoples lives.
All started as a simple cough, a little itching deep in the throat and nothing more. Surely it could be mistaken at first with the starting of a cold but the more time passed the worse it got. The victim would start to feel like something was stuck in his air canal, coughing will intensify and a small object will come out of their mouth: a flower´s petal. Root steams growing within of people’s lungs were suffocating them little by little; small flowers would star to grow. Unreal was the word the first experts used to describe the cases, how could a virus provoke anything like that?
Borders began to close; with no knowledge on its transmission taking precautions was the best thing to do. Trials were carried, unfortunately the cases increased with no apparent reason. The possibility of a surgery to get rid of the roots was being discussed, still no cause of the sickness can be identified. Despite no proof of transmission via ill to ill quarantine was encourage. The world appears to stop.
Duckburg was not exempt from the struggles of the illness. Even the most influent people and scientist of this city were involved. Scrooge and his team, no mattering that their areas of expertise weren´t the best for this problem, tried to aid nonetheless.
The work in the lab followed as normal, taking into consideration some safety measures; the staff was minimal so the risk looked minimal. To Fenton´s fortune the relationship with his boss got a lot better in the last year, he´s optimistic he would survive their time together and conserve most of his sanity, it´s not a secret Gyro´s not the friendliest individual. Manny was also present in the lab, at least they would make each other company to avoid going crazy. Maybe the duck exaggerates, sure he is worried about the illness and wish to do something, he cannot help but worrying about the isolation.
Gyro focused all his attention on the updates. Sure his reputation as a competent person/scientist has been stained due to his past, beside that he would try to put an effort in this situation. He is more than his past failures, who would have thought therapy worked? It didn’t do miracles though; he still had anger issues and problems with his emotions. Because of this coexisting along his workmates sometimes was difficult for him.
When work wasn´t stepping on their toes they could have some free time. Fenton talked a lot certainly, the chicken got used after a while, as annoying as he could be he was –mostly- smart. Eating lunch together became a tradition, Manny didn’t join them often, just the two alone getting their mind out of the tragedy. Other people would describe Gyro as a jerk, overall it was the reason his social life only consisted of his family, mostly his father. However the duck was so patient with him, he wanted to spend time with him, he even admired him, and without a doubt their friendship was begging to flourish (no pun intended).
A year had passed before the catalyst of the disease was discovered. No one could believe that the answer they were looking for came from the wacky inventor Doctor Gyro Gearloose. The scientist discovered a correlation between the emotional distressed provoked by romantic feelings and the start of the symptoms. His hypothesis back up with the psychological information of patients, and unfortunately for him, supported also by his own experience.
Quarantine was executed properly and no other worker on Mc Duck enterprise showed any signs of the sickness. Contact with infected pre-lockdown was discarded as to more than six months went incident free; no relatives of the workers presented any symptoms either. Notorious signs of the disease manifested approximately three months ago, as Gyro noted, it all began with an itchy throat. Hiding the development of the disease was controversial, with the health of his associates at risk but it was the ultimate trial to prove its transmission.
The closer he got with his work acquaintance and friend Fenton matched with the development of his illness somehow. If the affliction began before the three month mark he wasn´t aware, he could have had dismissed early signals. Watching his coworker with other eyes passed from an embarrassing possibility he wanted to leave aside to a violent cough that expulsed purple petals covered in blood. His loss of breath wasn´t proof of his need to book another session with his therapist to talk about his feelings, it was actually the roots of the flowers growing in his lungs.
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gladiolus : describe a moment from your muse’s life that they will never forget .
「 𝐁𝐎𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐋 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒 」
gladiolus — describe a moment from your muse’s life that they will never forget
🥀 i guess this really isn’t a specific MOMENT, but rather a sequence of events?? or just something that was happening over time. it started shortly after his first combat lesson with the older children—
now to preface: virek’s never really been a kid that’s easy to get along with. even his mother had a difficult time processing what was actually going on in his head— it feels like his mind is just on a completely different level than other people so it’s difficult to hold, or even start another conversation with others. so even in a place like the White Room, other kids never approached him, and he was generally by himself.
but after that whole incident, everything just gradually got worse?? it felt like even in a large group of people, he was just in a bubble of his own? like he was being singled out. and in a place like that, isolation just… hits. because everyone there is already ranked less than human anyway— but now it just feels?? muddy.
BUT BEFORE I RAMBLE— i guess the moment he won’t forget is when everything about his situation finally hit him in the face. like the moment he realised he just wasn’t built like other people, and would never really belong anywhere. he accepted the fact that even in a place that was supposed to train geniuses, y’know people like him, he was just… not the same as other kids? he felt like he was in a constant state of sinking, and there’s nothing he can do about it. accepted the fact that no matter where he goes, he won’t actually fit in anywhere. YEAH. BASICALLY! it’s not one specific event. but a period of time that led to one moment/realisation. 🥀
#— ♔ asks#— ♔ ask game reply#ask game reply#yuriko-tsukino-rp#virek sutcliffe#((DOES THIS MAKE SENSE???))#((i hope it does ><))
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saw a tiktok where somone said their psychic starbucks drive thru barista predicts the end of capitalism to be oct 13th, 2021 and like. this is obviously bullshit. but also manifesting
#good idea generator#like thats very vague and yet so specific that when oct 13 passes with no drastic change its immediately disproven#and it feels sort of weird to pick like. an exact day. im pretty sure total economic collapse would take longer than a day#and it would be difficult to isolate one single event that 'started' it. like i feel like when looking at history#things have a variety of contributing factors and very rarely definitively start or end that specifically?#just typed all these tags and realized i am talking out of my ass. i dont know if this is true im not a historian#and i barely remember hs social studies. however im equally qualified to speculate on this as a sbux barista#so i will be keeping the tags even though i could be wrong
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PTSD or C-PTSD?
Hopefully, you’re not one of the muns out there who has slapped a “PTSD” label on your muse(s) for drama only. You are, instead, treating this topic with respect and the realism that comes with that, not only having it accurately impact your muse when it’s convenient and “fun” for you. Well, that respect and realism includes actually knowing and applying the correct diagnosis and symptoms as well.
In your defense, if you have misdiagnosed your muse, common terminology in media and even among trauma sufferers is often just the blanket-statement of PTSD. Also, as the abbreviations imply, they do have things in common.
To help, I’m going to break down their differences and similarities, then provide some research links including personal accounts to help you get started.
PTSD
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder most often comes from a single traumatic event.
What can be a traumatic event can differ widely, and reasonably so; we’re not all the same person, processing events and emotions the same way, or with the same formative life experiences. What might cause PTSD to develop in one person might be processed by another as a frightening or painful incident, but not one that has left them with PTSD. The symptoms, individual, and incident have to all be taken into account.
That being said, some examples would include:
having a severe accident
being mugged or in a store that is robbed
physical or sexual assault
being involved in a shooting, in any way
death of a loved one
an unexpected explosion or sudden, natural event like a mudslide or tornado
a severe natural or man-made disaster (building collapse, mass flooding)
events outside of oneself like witnessing a violent assault, murder, deadly car accidents, terminal illness or injury
Again, it is important to remember that individuals react in individual ways, and as such, their symptoms can express with some variation. Don’t just mimic the same presentations you’ve seen in media, research a variety of real experiences.
However they manifest, key symptoms of PTSD include:
Re experiencing the event by way of nightmares, flashbacks, and repetitive, intrusive, and intensely upsetting images, thoughts, and sensations. This is the most common symptom of PTSD, in which the person involuntarily and vividly relives the trauma.
Avoidance and emotional numbing, going to extremes to avoid not just potential triggers, but also finding any way possible to push memories of the event out of their minds. When the latter occurs and is extreme, the person is trying to feel nothing at all, seeking a path to emotional numbness. That can include substance use and abuse, self-harming, and other harmful behaviors.
Feeling on edge (”Hyperarousal”) is the ultimate inability to relax, constantly looking for threats, perceiving threats that are not to be found, and being easily startled. Some of the common issues with being locked into this state include difficulty sleeping or even insomnia, severe irritability and irrational seeming aggression, angry or aggressive outbursts, and finding concentration difficult to impossible.
Some other things that might develop with PTSD are:
Other mental health concerns like anxiety, depression, and/or phobias
as said above, harmful behaviors like self-harming and substance abuse
physical symptoms like headaches, stomach and digestive upsets, dizziness, and generalized pain
Like all disorders, PTSD is complex. I, again, implore you to research not only information put out by psychiatric professionals but also the experiences of real people.
C-PTSD
Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder occurs when a person experiences repeated, consistent trauma, especially at an early age.
That doesn’t mean that adults cannot and do not develop C-PTSD, they do, and for a variety of reasons; adult sufferers have the same points of origin in the diagnosis as children do. Additionally, it may take years for someone to seek help, feel their symptoms are severe enough to need to, or be able to extricate themselves from the situation in order to receive help of any kind. They may be an adult by the time this happens.
The important thing to remember about C-PTSD is that it isn’t a single traumatic incident, and you are more likely to have this form of PTSD if the trauma occurred early in life, it was inflicted by someone close to you, and/or was inflicted by someone you still see on a regular basis.
Some good examples to give you the idea include:
ongoing domestic violence
child abuse and/or neglect
being raised by a parent with a severe disorder like Narcissistic Personality Disorder
repeatedly witnessing violence or abuse
torture
kidnapping
being a part of a cult
being a victim of human trafficking or slavery
It isn’t “complex” because it is always across the board “more severe.” This isn’t simply “even worse PTSD,” and shouldn’t be treated like that. Its source is more complex, the development and embedded varieties of its impact are, and the ongoing treatment is.
Particularly when C-PTSD occurs in childhood, there are lasting effects on a person’s development. They have developed in an environment that constantly has them highly stressed both physically and psychologically, and in which they learn many ways of coping, lessening or negating harm, and so on, that leave them less than optimally functional and integrated in life outside the situation.
While the person has the symptoms of PTSD, they will additionally exhibit:
difficulty developing and/or maintaining relationships of any sort
intense, consistent feelings of worthlessness, shame, and guilt
problems managing and even understanding their own emotions
suicidal thoughts
dissociation
increased risk-taking behaviors
Those who have had their actual development rerouted to deal with the situations that generate C-PTSD have a higher incidence of physical symptoms, suicide, self-harm, substance abuse, and are at higher risk of repeat victimization.
They might go for some time without realizing that their daily experiences are neither the norm nor something sustainable, or how atypical their traumatic experiences were compared to those around them. It can sometimes take a serious life-event (suicide attempt, drug rehab, losing too many jobs, homelessness, or finding themselves in a genuine, loving relationship) for them to fully recognize something is wrong, and even then, their feelings of worthlessness, ingrained lack of self-confidence, and belief that they don’t deserve any better can prevent them from seeking help outside of themselves.
They may also believe that something is just “wrong” with them, that they are innately messed up, or that they have a different mental illness. And the unwillingness to open up to people, relieve events, etc. can additionally leave them unwilling to seek or continue care when they believe they have a different, underlying problem. Again, choosing to deal with this themselves through self-isolating, self-medicating, and seeking only relationships and jobs that will work within the framework of the disorder as it effects them.
Additionally, many sufferers of both C-PTSD and PTSD experience the same sense of societal shaming surrounding mental illness. They may struggle with denial, and refuse to seek assistance due to the stigma and all it entails.
Shared aspects of PTSD and C-PTSD
They’re both, obviously, severe, life-altering trauma experiences and resultant disorders. They both easily make the sufferer feel like the trauma and disorder is impossible or undesirable for others to deal with, that they are not worthy of being in close relationships, among many other similarities in experience living with either disorder regardless of widely varying traumas.
They share psychological and physical impacts, and there is a lot of overlap.
The core symptoms of PTSD are shared with C-PTSD:
relieving the trauma(s)
avoiding and emotional numbing
hyperarousal
The shared physical symptoms can include:
headaches
nausea, stomach ache, and digestive upsets
difficulty sleeping and insomnia
sweating, clamminess
chest pain and difficulty breathing
manifestations of low-grade to severe pain
dizziness
Shared behaviors can include:
difficulty concentrating to outright dissociating
self-harm
substance abuse
being hyper-vigilant, easily startled
may seem to be over-reactive to/in situations that others are perceiving as normal or not that big of a deal due to lower perception of personal emotions and lower emotional regulation
including explosive anger or defensiveness
development of anxiety and depression disorders, the symptoms thereof
Again, both PTSD and C-PTSD are serious disorders caused by trauma, and they both need to be treated with respect and accuracy when written into a character - be that an OC or a canon character. It is unfortunate, but these symptoms and the realities of life with either disorder are often portrayed badly in wider media, and the RPC often imitates what it sees.
PTSD and C-PTSD, like the incidents of trauma that created them (rape, child abuse, domestic violence, miscarriage, etc.), are not a plot-point, other point of interest, or a character trait, let alone a “character flaw.” They’re not something you only bring up for attention, to get your muse out of a bad spot, or to add dramatics when you’re bored in a thread. Neither are they something you need to attach to your muse simply to give them A Label. These are, I cannot stress this enough, serious topics, and they deserve to be treated that way.
You can do that by defining which variety of PTSD your muse may actually have, then adding research of both the disorder and how it impacts a variety of real people. Making your muse more realistic and being dedicated to sticking with it.
Below are some links to get you started on research! Please note, the real stories, as well as some information, may be graphic or triggering. Read responsibly.
C-PTSD
Out of the Storm - Personal Stories of C-PTSD
-Contains real stories from those with Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Their experiences have a huge range; bullying, childhood neglect and abuse, and sexual abuse and assault.
I Have Post-Traumatic Stress and Didn’t Know It - and You Might, Too
-Personal story of living, unknowingly, with C-PTSD. An especially great read for writers who have muses who hold a lot of responsibility in their daily lives, who may not realize their experiences are C-PTSD related, etc. Contains discussion of parental emotional abuse, mental illness and childhood trauma, and rape.
What is C-PTSD?
-Excellent resource for detailed breakdowns of C-PTSD giving without a clinical, impersonal tone. The definitions of the disorder itself, symptoms and how it manifests and impacts daily life, and much more. A highly recommended source, and one with further resources on-site.
11 “Habits” of People Living with C-PTSD
-Short breakdown of C-PTSD, followed by snippets of specific experiences in the words of those living with the disorder, a relatively short article.
PTSD
Rebecca’s Story: Living with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
-Personal story of a woman living with PTSD from, in short, being stalked by a co-worker. It’s an excellent article, particularly for how mental illnesses sufferers are treated and portrayed, and how that adds another layer of difficulty to their lives. Obviously, this may be triggering to those who have been stalked, and includes mentions of graphic threats.
My experience of PTSD
-A personal story of medical trauma resulting in PTSD. Many of the PTSD stories you’ll find are from women and involve sexual trauma or harassment, in trying to find a variety of stories, I’ve found this one. By this point, you should be noticing many similarities in these stories, regardless of specific trauma.
Leaving the Battlefield: Soldier Shares Story of PTSD
-So many muses experience PTSD through battle-related incidents, and those depictions are not always accurate in media. This is a personal story about one soldier’s experiences. His perception of PTSD, denial, and shame at having the disorder is something that echoes throughout the previous accounts. So do the similarities of daily struggles to maintain to regular life. Before anyone wants to get Tumblr Nasty about it: there isn’t any “war propaganda” present in this story, the location of it is irrelevant to what you’re supposed to be learning here. It’s literally this man’s experience, don’t.
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
-Breakdown of symptoms and causes from Mayo Clinic, so obviously, this is more clinical-minded. Particularly useful for its lists of things like “symptoms of negative changes in thinking and mood” and increased risk-factor for other disorders.
I hope this helps you to assess and write more accurately your muses with C-PTSD or PTSD, and to consider these things more fully when having your muse experience a traumatic event in your plots.
-------
Please, remember when you are reading these accounts, and anywhere you might encounter PTSD sufferers; these are REAL PEOPLE. Treat them and their stories with respect. You’ll note that, unlike other posts on this blog, I didn’t advise you to approach the source. Many trauma sufferers won’t be comfortable sharing their experiences for the sake of your creative hobby. You may, at your respectful discretion, discuss this with close friends you know to be impacted by PTSD, just keep in mind that respect, discretion, and only bringing the topic up when they are comfortable with it, with specific questions, is necessary here. These are not fictional characters! Do not write someone’s real experiences into your character, thread, etc. verbatim, that’s...fucked up. Thanks in advance for being responsible, respectful adults, from a real life PTSD sufferer. -Vespertine
#rp help#rp advice#muse development#character development#writing advice#muses with ptsd#muses with cptsd#cptsd and ptsd post#muse inspiration#diverse muses#neurodiverse characters#rp better
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The meaning of the Beast Spirits in Frontier, and what it means to control it
(On request by @digitalgate02.)
When you think about it, Frontier can be framed as a story of outcasts or misfits having to accept the idea of “changing themselves” in order to become better people, both literally in the sense of embracing physical transformation, and metaphorically in the sense of making attempts to do better. Implicitly, it speaks a lot as to how quickly these kids accept the idea of turning into something else -- perhaps implying as to how ostracized they’ve felt that such a thing instantly sounds appealing -- but it also adds some interesting layers to the concept of the Beast Spirit and how the difficulty of “controlling it” ties into each character’s personal story.
I think a lot of it has to do with the idea that these kids did have inclinations of being selfish or shallow at the beginning -- while they were full of potential to become heroes, they definitely started off as unlikely misfits at the beginning. In that respect, you can see the Beast Spirits arc as a sort of lesson that great power must be used wisely and responsibility...
Believe it or not, our biggest clue to all of this comes from episode 16, Izumi’s episode. It’s not directly stated in words, and the abstract summary of “determination” is passed off as a joke, but looking at the context clues around the episode indicates that’s actually not far off.
The thing is that Calmaramon is depicted as having the hardest time with her Beast Spirit compared to practically about anyone else in the group, and one of the recurring themes about it is that it’s partially because her personality is downright terrible. If you look at the context clues behind the prior episode (15), you’ll notice that while her looks are briefly brought up as an issue there and in this episode, the part that’s really freaking everyone out (and is making everyone worried Izumi will turn out to be the same) is that they actually saw it have an impact on her personality, where she was clearly conscious and able to talk but also indiscriminately destroying everything and enjoying it. At least in the case of Kouji, Takuya, and Junpei, they can be forgiven because they all did their best to keep it under control after the initial fallout, but Ranamon changing into Calmaramon had also involved her becoming someone actively reveling in senseless destruction. When everyone worries that Izumi might turn out like that, they don’t even bring up looks at all, and they all recoil when she does start showing signs of being destructive anyway.
The thing is, the entire rest of the episode puts a massive spotlight on Izumi’s actions of standing up for the Gomamon and empathizing with their loneliness (which, given the contexts added about Izumi’s background and backstory in episodes 8 and 26, are most likely her feeling that the concept of “being isolated from others no matter how much you want to reach them” hit way too hard for her) to the point she puts her foot down to override the boys’ prior plan of chasing the Toucanmon and their Digivices. She actually faces quite a bit of protest from the boys on this issue, and even admits she’s not sure if her own plan will work, but focuses on the idea of doing her best to undo the whirlpool with her abilities -- that is to say, using her power to protect and help others.
This sentiment of “I have to protect everyone” drives Izumi’s actions for the rest of the episode, to the point it’s the only thought consuming her head right before she finds and claims her Beast Spirit. So to make it clear, at the time she claimed it, the thought of “protecting others” was desperately, single-mindedly consuming her head...
...and the contrast is immediately apparent when Shutumon emerges, and the only thing Ranamon cares about is looks.
In other words, the reason the Beast Spirit wasn’t working out for Ranamon/Calmaramon is that she only wanted the Beast Spirit’s power for the sake of pride, vanity, and dominating others, and because of that, she had difficulty controlling it because it resonated with those feelings -- after all, although she wanted to “control” it to the extent of not carrying her all over the place, she was perfectly fine with the part about causing wanton destruction. Izumi, on the other hand, is clearly holding herself back even after her first evolution to Shutumon -- trying to keep a calm head -- and, after all, her entire motivation had been driven by “helping and protecting others” for the whole episode, so she doesn’t want to let this fail on her now, and she keeps that calm head all the way throughout the rest of it.
When we get to the next episode (17), you’ll also notice that one of the first things Blizzarmon (Tomoki) does is actively attempt to restrain himself. If you look back at what Tomoki’s character arc is about, he’d spent the better part of his past being bullied by others and tossed around, so “overpowering the weak” is the last thing Tomoki ever wants to do (especially given the events of this episode, as well). So, having witnessed the potential consequences of the Beast Spirit with the other boys, it stands to reason that Tomoki would want to avoid “hurting others” so much that restraining this would be a strong priority for him. While it’s commented that it does take his personality out of control a bit, the worst it ever gets is that he seems to be overly elated and cheerful about his defeats, but that’s also in line with Tomoki constantly having been pushed down so much during his life that you can imagine he’s enjoying the opportunity to finally be strong and have the spotlight.
But because he hates the concept of bullying and pushing others down so much, it stands to reason that he wouldn’t really have as much of a problem with that.
So when you look back at the prior episodes with the Beast Spirits with this context, you can see it applying there as well. In episode 14, Junpei was spending the better part of the first half of the episode livid at what was happening to his friends -- absolutely pissed at Grottomon for taking Izumi's spirit (and, despite Izumi's doubts, it's pretty apparent he actually does care about it beyond just having a crush on her), and then upset at the idea of being a sitting duck while Agnimon and Wolfmon are getting tossed around. While Junpei initially has trouble keeping the Spirit under control, the exact moment he gets a grip on himself is the moment he reaffirms his determination to fight for the sake of his friends.
Looking back at the other two episodes about rampaging Beast Spirits in episodes 10 and 12, you can also see why the concept applies there as well. It’s interesting how the “worst” rampage shown among the main protagonist Beast Spirits was not the first one obtained (Garmmon) but the second one (Vritramon), and if you look at the circumstances surrounding them, it doesn’t seem to mean as much about Takuya having any particular stronger tendency towards condescending violence as much as the sheer circumstances that went on behind them:
Kouji obtained his Beast Spirit under the circumstances of already knowing that he needed to protect Gotsumon with that power (and, moreover, having spent the end of the prior episode and the duration of the beginning of this one mulling on Ophanimon’s warning that he’d need to “grow” before he could obtain it). Therefore, “using this power for the desire to protect others” was a huge thought in his head from the very beginning, even though -- presumably partially because this was a first time for everyone -- it threw him off just enough for him to end up exhausting himself.
Takuya obtained his without warning and without proper understanding of what he was dealing with, having had it practically forced on him after Shamamon-as-Vritramon’s defeat, and so, with no context of purpose and no real depth of what he was about to get into, he ended up on a complete destructive rampage. He was snapped out successfully by the need to not hurt someone (Tomoki), and spent the rest of the episode agonizing and mulling over the risks and meaning of having such power before he eventually evolved into Vritramon without too much issue the second time.
So the point is made clear: the “destructive” and “uncontrollable” impulses associated with the Beast Spirits will be sent out of control if the user doesn’t have a strong desire to use it with proper purpose. For Ranamon/Calmaramon, she had the worst time with it because she was the single most obsessed out of the Legendary Warriors to use it to stroke her own ego and vanity, whereas at least the other three Cherubimon-allied ones (besides Duskmon -- see below) were at least capable of using it towards a greater goal, and the remaining five went through the proper outlets of thinking about how this power should be used and how it shouldn’t be used lightly.
While the issue of the Beast Spirits being inherently difficult to control isn’t as prominent as we go later into the series, we do actually see shades of it when we get to the tale of Kouichi/Duskmon/Velgrmon, because while part of it can be chalked up to the power of darkness being consuming, Kouichi, during his first transformation to Velgrmon in episode 30, is only able to talk barely coherently and is really just venting his rage and anger out, presumably because his entire state of mind is locked into all of that, making the rampage even worse. (Also keeping in mind the theme of embracing the idea of changing yourself, you can also think of this in terms of how Kouichi is getting so consumed by his own emotions of anger that he’s become almost completely unrecognizable from his original self.)
Once we get his first “proper” evolution in episode 33, however, Kouichi is abundantly aware of what he’s done and has all of the proper determination to never let such a thing happen again -- so it’s not surprising that his evolution to KaiserLeomon happens with relatively little incident.
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The Lost Boys: Summer Nights
Dwayne x Reader
Word Count: 987
Summary: Dwayne and reader enjoy a summer night walk on the beach.
Fingers intertwined tightly and swung in the middle of the two of you. You were walking, filling Dwayne in on what had happened during your day.
It was a common occurrence. Not only were you an item, but it was often cathartic for you to vent about your life and it was nice for Dwayne to listen to what happened during the day of a normal life, emphasis on the day part.
Knowing that, you made to sure to describe the sky in between the events of your story.
“The sun radiant today, downright simmering but there was a breeze, which was nice because I didn’t completely sweat through my shirt when I walked to grab lunch. But can you believe that when I got back, Margaret had me…”
Dwayne smiled, a little gentle lift of his lips, as he listened to you. On most summer nights, he brought you to the beach. Ocean waves crashed in the background as you walked an isolated part of the beach.
Your voice was passionate yet it never failed to sooth him. By that point, he was so familiar with your work situation that he knew every single person. He knew their personalities, their motivations, and, most importantly, which of them you liked and which you disliked.
Margaret was firmly in the dislike category.
Despite knowing how you would react, he still offered. “I could always take care of her for you.”
Your eyes were pleased but you made sure to firmly set him straight. “I keep telling you, Dwayne. You can’t go around offing people that make my life difficult.”
He shrugged, his heavy leather jacket riding up his exposed stomach. “As long as you know the offer is there.”
Bumping your head into his shoulders in an attempt to hide your face, you instead squeezed his hand.
You were sure that if your well being and safety ever was in jeopardy, he wouldn’t hesitate to kill for you. It was a strangely sweet and a little problematic, but you chose to focus on the sweet part and not what it said about you.
“Any way, she claimed that it would—” You were caught by surprise when Dwayne swept you up, bridal style, and rushed toward the water. It didn’t take long to realize what he was up to.
“Dwayne!” you screamed. “Do not, dump me—”
Once again, you were cut off as you were submerged in cool, salty water. In the night, it was impossible for you to make out anything, the ocean seeming like an endless inky void. It lasted only moments until you were gasping as Dwayne pulled you up.
He was laughing. Your clothes were suctioned skin-tight to your body and your hair was plastered into your face, and he was laughing.
“Looked like you needed to cool down,” he tried to say in between laughs. “You were getting pretty worked up.”
In a small act of revenge, you splashed water into his face. You weren’t legitimately mad but you’d be damned if you were the only one who got soaked.
“Guess I deserved that,” he said, gently stroking your cheeks.
Carrying you to the sand with water trailing behind, he deposited you on the ground and crawled in behind you. Words weren’t needed as you laid there together under the dim light of the moon.
Until you shivered, that is. It may have been summer but it still got cold after the sun went down, especially when you were dripping water.
“Shit,” he murmured, arms wrapping around you even tighter. “Sorry. I should’ve known you’d get cold.”
You tried your best to soothe him with soft kisses to his stubbled chin. “It won’t kill me, I just need to warm up a bit.”
Reading the thinly disguised ploy for more kisses, he gladly indulged you.
Hefting himself up onto his forearms, his dipped down in a practiced motion, chasing your lips with his own. They were a little chapped and his stubble poked at your chin, but it didn’t matter.
Kissing Dwayne was always an experience.
His mouth was smooth, the weight of him grounding where he pressed down on your front. You didn’t even care that your hair was about to be caked in sand, you thought as you gripped his forearms, the muscle flexing under your touch.
Peeking through your lashes, you saw his eyes burn the tell-tale mottled yellow that signaled his vampiric instincts, as well as the fact that he was really turned on. Eyelids fluttering shut again, you pressed even deeper into the kiss, doing that thing with your tongue that drove him wild in anticipation that things were about to heat up even more.
That is until he pulled back, sucking on your bottom lip as he left you panting. “Better?”
“Better,” you replied dreamily. His soft breath stirred your damp hair as he stroked it off your face, snuggling you closer. You nestled in, muscles completely warmed and still trembling.
It seemed like he was done for now though, no matter how you tried to entice him. Damn him for knowing how much you actually would complain about the sand if he managed to get you naked.
“Good. Wanna talk about Margaret some more?” he asked teasingly.
“Yep. Mood’s completely gone. Please don’t bring her up when we do these kinds of things, it makes we want to recoil in horror.”
“Good,” he said again. Your brows raised in disbelief which he tried to smooth back down with his thumb. “Because I was thinking, if you wanted to, we could head to your place to continue. A bed is…less sandy.”
Catching on quickly, you nodded. A bed. A bed sounded good. Excellent even.
Peels of laughter tore out of you and echoed along the coast as he scooped you up and started running. He moved a lot faster than you could, after all.
Summer nights, really were the best.
_______________
I wanted to write something short and sweet for my favorite boy before my birthday month is up. Hope you enjoyed reading! Thanks for checking it out!
#the lost boys#the lost boys dwayne#dwayne the lost boys#the lost boys x reader#the lost boys imagines
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[Image ID: Screenshot of a tumblr reply from user @weareallfromearth saying “Holy shit I would V much like to know what you’d do with ZolfWilde.” End ID]
This was in response to me tag rambling that if Alex “I don’t Actually Have That Much Experience in Courtship” Newall and Ben “I just Realised I’m Too Straight For This” Meredith don’t know what to do with Zolf/Wilde, they should hand the ship over to me.
*rubs my gay little hands together.*
I initially characterized them offhandedly as Enemies-to-Lovers but that’s not quite it, is it? On reflection I would say it’s more of an Opposites Attract situation.
Oscar Wilde, as re-imagined in the RQG universe, is a homme fatale; a dangerous, attractive man, skilled in encouraging people to underestimate him, wearing different masks, never quite being able to trust or be trusted by anyone.
There is NO personal/professional line for Wilde. He lives his work, and his work is subterfuge and interpersonal manipulation. (whether or not he started this way in his field as a journalist, or was forced to become this way by the changes in his world, is another post.) He is a person who either cares very deeply what people think of him, or is has decided that manipulating what people think of him is the way to get what he wants, and from the outside it makes no difference.
Zolf Smith does not care what people think of him. He isn’t even skilled at being kind and empathetic to people he cares about; he has no time for emotional manipulation or genuine charm. He doesn’t even have a fantastic grasp on his OWN feelings, let alone other people’s. He’s grounded, disinterested in frippery or appearances. Which is why Zolf and Wilde started out so deeply at odds with one another.
Despite the differences in the interpersonal approaches, they have plenty of common ground.
They are both deeply dedicated to a cause. They care about their work to the exclusion of all else. They are both pragmatists who have their own internal moral code, and are willing to bend or break other people’s rules in order to get the job done. They are fundamentally good people. Despite their rocky beginnings, they can respect each other because of these things.
And they might have maintained their mutually disdainful, begrudgingly respectful working relationship and that could have been the sum total... Except then the world fell apart. The Meritocratic organisation was initially compromised, then disintegrated. The blue vein plague isolated everyone and made it even harder to trust supposed allies. The Cult of Hades was on everyone’s ass making their life difficult, the other PCs disappeared off the face of the planet. Zolf and Wilde ended up in a situation where they had no one else they could trust.
Familiarity breeds contempt, but maybe if the contempt is already there, it builds Something Else. Wilde was stripped of his magic in a way that made it much harder for him to keep people at a distance and (pardon the pun) project the illusion of the debonair playboy. Zolf would have had the chance to see through Wilde’s masks, and get a better understanding of what parts of Wilde were a calculated tactic, and what was his genuine self.
Whatever betrayal transpired that gave Wilde his scar and hardened him, Zolf was privy to. He was either there and saw it happen, or he was close enough in the aftermath to see Wilde properly vulnerable for the first time in their friendship. Hell, maybe Zolf was the one who rescued him and patched him up. That was a chance for Zolf to realise that this insufferable man is a friend who he cares about deeply. At this point, he’s cared for awhile, but has been too wrapped up with his own spiritual difficulties to have space to admit that to himself.
And Wilde, oh Wilde, he’s desperate to be seen and known and loved, but he’s never allowed himself. He’s never felt SAFE to. He doesn’t let people get close, treats every conversation as a battle to be won. His safety and his power lies in being admired, but never loved. So even as trust and fondness for Zolf blossoms within him, he won’t for a second allow himself to hope that the fondness is reciprocated
With all that out of the way, this is my version of events.
Wilde is a slut (affectionate), and Zolf is gray-ace, so if there’s any bridging of that gap in terms of physical intimacy, it has to be from Zolf’s side. Giving canon a tender massage into place, that first instance of Zolf grabbing Wilde by the collar changes. (This happens on the Vengeance after Zolf has taught Wilde to steer the ship). Zolf drags Wilde down to say “I’m glad to see you perked up.” That moment now involves a whiskery kiss on Wilde’s cheek, and the man would be absolutely FLOORED by it.
I’m talking slow-mo glittering lights as Zolf stomps off blushing, unsure what just came over him; Wilde touches his cheek in bewilderment for a stretched moment before realising he’s completely agog, and he let go of the wheel for a dangerous length of time. Every interaction, every moment they’ve spent together over the last two years is flashing before Wilde’s eyes and a new context is being applied rapid fire. I’m talking the italacised oh kind of moment.
(on top of Zolf being witness to The Betrayal, throw some other moments of almost-intimacy into said flashbacks. I’m talking late nights, Zolf doing his gruff-yet-kind caretaker thing, cooking for Wilde, maybe sharing quiet and rare downtime with Zolf reading a Campbell novel on a couch in Wilde’s office)
Wilde is realising, “Oh this is allowed, oh this is reciprocated, this is possible.”
And of course they don’t talk about it, because what’s a slowburn if they immediately go and TALK about their feelings? No, the kiss goes completely unremarked upon, and Wilde continues to needle and tease and get under Zolf’s skin, except now with an added warmth in his eyes because he finally gets it. He finally understands that Zolf cares, that Zolf loves him, he’s just not the kind of dwarf that knows how to express it.
And Zolf, frustrated by feelings he can’t express but is beginning to understand, can hear the undertone of “haha, you looooove me,” shining through Wilde’s deliberate antagonism. They continue their time on the Vengeance just a little easier and closer to one another.
And we continue on to the death/resurrection arc, and Wilde’s spirit pushes for Zolf to open up about his feelings, because if not when he’s literally past death’s door, then when? When Zolf finally manages his “I need you,” it’s like a dam has broken for both of them. The second collar-grab and “We’ll go on a holiday or somethin’,” is now followed by a full kiss on the lips, not particularly erotic but passionate, (it’s the epitome of kissing someone to shut them up) and Wilde makes a surprised and delighted squeak that he would be glad he can’t quite remember when he returns to land of the living.
Once returned, Wilde might not remember everything that his spirit said or did, but he remembers the kiss. The comfort and ease that the two of them share in 179 (Eat Drink and Be Merry) is there, only instead of the two characters still being in a place of questioning their feelings for one another, it’s been answered.
Whether or not this relationship is sexual in nature is kind of up to you and what kind of fan works you like to read/write. I think there are wonderful scenes to be written an explored in many directions.
Wilde allowing himself to enjoy sex for intimacy and closeness instead of using it as a tool/ Zolf not being one for sex but Wilde’s never slept more soundly than when he’s being held in Zolf’s arms/ Zolf realising that the unfamiliar feeling he’s been struggling to express is the desire to rail Wilde til he cries/ Wilde realising that if his partner doesn’t want it from him, he’s actually quite content without sex/ The two of them being mean, antagonistic bastards to each other while fucking but Make It Kink (of the trusting and RACK kind). There really isn’t a single bad interpretation.
So really, I’m not doing anything different with them other than reading between the lines, giving canon a little nudge, and sticking the landing. This isn’t to disparage the concept of queer platonic partners. (I’ve got one!) or to talk shit about Ben or Alex (I DO respect their craft).
It’s just to say I find these two characters , and everything they’ve been through, PAINFULLY romantic, tropey, and delightful. I’m looking forward both to how Ben and Alex play the QPP, the fanworks I’m gonna read and hopefully write, and the inevitable tragedy that you KNOW Alex is gearing up for.
#zoscar#zolfwilde#RQG#rusty quill gaming#zolf smith#RQG Oscar Wilde#hank talks#rqg podcast#rqg meta#feel free to reblog#and to talk to me about it
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regrets | chapter thirteen
prev. chapter | next chapter
pairing: levi ackerman x reader
themes: enemies to lovers, slowburn, angst, fluff, smut
tw: violence / explicit sexual content
word count: 1715
It was hard to pay attention to the scene around you. It was chilly outside that day, the sky dull grey. Rain fell continuously, taking ten or so minutes to catch its breath before starting right back up to disappoint those hoping for some sun. Your friends -- Jean, Connie, and Sasha -- had pulled the bedside table out in front of you, all sitting around it. Everyone had a hand of cards, though you were unsure exactly of what game you were even playing as your thoughts traveled elsewhere. Hange had cancelled on you that day for a meeting; you weren't worried, though. The progress you were making practically promised that you would be back to normal within a few days. You had mixed feelings on that standpoint; it was hard to deny the good times your injury had brought you, and it would be sad to return to your normal life. You wondered how much would change.
Not that things weren't changing anyway.
Levi's words still rang through your mind as if he was next to you, repeating them in a whisper only you could hear over and over. "You looked too far into it." Your brain had chosen to torture you that day -- replaying the events of last night until you had no space for anything else to enter. It was cruel. Once again, it started at the beginning.
Levi entered your room, same as always, with his teapot and two cups. You were, same as always, sitting in your bed, patiently waiting for his arrival. Something was different, though. You smiled at him and said hello, expecting at least an upturn of the corner of his mouth in reply. He didn't acknowledge you. Wordlessly, he put everything down and pulled the table out between the two of you. Doesn't he typically say something by now?
He poured your cups without looking you in the eye, sitting straight up instead of leaning back and getting comfortable. Your face started to fall. "Is something wrong?" you asked him, furrowing your eyebrows. This was not the mood you expected tonight.
He didn't answer you immediately, taking a sip of tea and crossing one leg over the other before he finally looked up at you for the first time. His face was hard, but his eyes faltered. They were soft, and almost sad-looking. They assimilated with his face rather quickly, leaving you to wonder if it was your imagination. You decided it wasn't, however, when his free hand twitched forward then returned to its place. He wanted to reach for you. Why wasn't he?
"No," he answered bluntly, taking his eyes away from your face and going back to his tea.
"It's your turn," Jean told you, as he had to do every time it came back around to you today. "Is something bothering you?" You snapped out of your trance and locked eyes with him. He looked concerned. You laid your cards down and drew another, silently debating on telling him the truth.
"I'm fine. My leg is just bothering me a little bit." Connie and Sasha looked like they believed you, but Jean knew better. You could tell by the look in his eyes that he expected an explanation later. You wondered if you were prepared to give it.
To your right, Sasha was snacking on a potato she had sneaked back from lunch, leaving grease on her cards as she played her turn. It had been a while since you last spent time with her. Directly in front of you, Connie paid you no mind. He looked intently focused on the cards in his hand, as if he was trying to decipher some sort of ancient code. He looked like he was giving up when he finally discarded. Then, on your left, Jean eyed you warily. He already had his play picked out; all he had to do was lay it down before it was back to you.
This was getting repetitive.
After a while, you managed to get a little bit of conversation out of the man in front of you. It was not nearly as much as it usually was -- just a bit of small talk. It was enough to make you feel more confident. You wished it wouldn't have been; confidence was not what you needed in that moment. You wished you had depended more on your intuition that something felt wrong, because it surely was.
You had started to yawn, sleep pulling at your eyes. You grinned at Levi, and he lifted his eyebrow just barely. "Last night was nice," you told him, gearing up for the question. He didn't say anything, but that was no less than typical for him. He waited patiently for you to continue. You shouldn't have.
"I only have a few days left here. You don't have to stay in that chair all night," you moved over to give him some room. "Catch up on some more sleep with me?"
"No, thank you."
Embarrassed was an understatement.
The game was over. You were all too bored to play another round. Connie and Sasha soon packed up and left, mentioning something about going to see Ymir and Historia. You and Jean were left alone, concern still covering his features.
You really didn't want to talk.
Jean wasted no time. As soon as Connie and Sasha had left and the door closed behind them, he turned to you. "Are you going to tell me what's wrong?"
You sighed, tugging at a strand of hair that hung in your face. "Levi was acting weird last night. I feel like an idiot," you said, wary of providing details. You were mortified. You looked too far into it.
"Weird how? Stop being all shy. You can tell me anything," he replied, laying his hand on top of yours. A single comforting touch. It was familiar.
"He made it pretty clear that he doesn't feel the way I do. He wasn't the nicest about it either."
"What the fuck is your problem, Levi?" you finally asked him, sick of his nonchalant way of pretending everything was absolutely normal.
"I don't have a problem," he answered calmly, as if he expected your outburst. You wanted to scream.
"I find that hard to believe. Before you walked in that door tonight, the last thing that happened between us was a lot different. You slept with me. You held me, and rubbed my shoulders, and played with my fucking hair. You gave me your shirt. And now you come in acting like none of that ever happened?" You found yourself raising your voice, and reminded yourself that the infirmary was entirely public. As if it would take more than one harsh word from Levi for you to forget that and get even louder.
"You looked too far into it." His tone was cold and harsh and seething, but his face was not. It was confusing, the melancholy glint of his eye and soft set of his features. It was hard to notice in the moment, though, as you were already filled with rage. "Do you honestly think I would have done those things if not to comfort you?"
You were taken aback. You stuttered on your words for a moment before you finally stumbled along a suitable reply. "I didn't think you'd do those things even to comfort me, Levi. I thought--"
"You thought that maybe I felt the way you feel about me. I don't. It's inappropriate for you to even think that way." You felt tears start to well up in your eyes, from anger or sadness you weren't sure. "What was I to do? I did what I did to comfort you. Nothing more. I don't want to talk about this. Goodnight."
You felt utterly demolished. Without another word, you turned away from him and squeezed your eyes shut. When you woke up, he was gone.
Jean nodded as you finished telling him what happened, his face looking somewhat sad. He reached his arms out to you, unsure of what to say. You let yourself fall into them, fighting back tears until they finally prevailed.
At least you had him.
---
Levi sat at his desk in his suite, a fresh pot of tea perched at his side as he worked on Erwin's latest assignment. The sky was dark and rainy, the prospect of nicer weather looking rather bleak. The sight of tears in your eyes had been the itch on his mind all day, leaving him unable to focus. He was angry.
Anger was not unfamiliar to him. It was uncomfortable, of course, but not abnormal. Being angry with himself was most common, and this was no exception. Why did he allow himself to get so close to you?
He considered for a moment that he was wrong, that maybe it wasn't the inappropriate mess he foresaw when he looked at you a bit too long, or reached out his hand to caress you. On the other hand, he was your superior, and you were known to make trouble. What would his peers think? What would yours? It was difficult for him to come to any other conclusion.
He was no stranger to isolation. He considered the people he had allowed in before, knowing that, besides Erwin, they were all gone now. No matter how invincible you may seem, he could not deny that you were in danger every single day, as all of the scouts were. That was made apparent when you were injured. He didn't understand why that thought made him want to get even closer to you.
Despite all of this, he still felt a strange feeling when he looked at you. This was the only new thing -- the anger, the isolation, and the fear were all entirely normal, but the way he longed for you was not. He laid his head in one hand; it ached with confusion.
He straightened up when he heard a knock at the door. "Who is it?" he asked, somewhere deep down hoping it was you. When Commander Erwin came in, he refocused -- but the last thought in his mind was that he couldn't continue on with you, no matter how badly he wanted to.
#AoT#aot x reader#aot fanfiction#aot fic#levi attack on titan#levi x reader#levi ackerman#levi aot#attack on titan#shingeki no kyojin#snk#snk x reader#snk fic#slowburn#enemies to lovers#levi angst#levi smut#levi fluff#levi ackerman x reader
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DP/HP twin fic chapter 1
This would be the first chapter of that DP/HP twin fic... I need a name for it before I post it elsewhere... I can’t think of a name... help... @ladylynse I blame you for this entirely. It’s 3k and they haven’t even met yet. What am I doing.
.
Here’s the thing. Danny had encountered wizards before. And witches. Multiple times.
He was not a fan.
Burning, or other forms of murder, hadn’t ever crossed his mind as a solution to them, even when Freakshow decided to derail his life yet again. Still. There were only so many times you could stumble upon members of a certain group zapping people with bargain-bin neuralyzers and leaving hours’ worth of uncertain memories in their wake before you got sort of fed up.
Memory erasure was great in fiction. Not so much in real life.
Danny got it. He’d erased a couple of memories himself. Well, a lot of memories, depending on how one took the Reality Gauntlet incident. But as far as motivations went, ‘trying not to be dissected by the government’ was a lot different from ‘we can’t be bothered to be discreet about our sporting events and we think it’s funny that our venue managed to attract ghost hunters when these magicless fools have never seen a real ghost in their lives so we’re going to mess with them.’
Yeah. Danny was still annoyed about that. Also, about their reactions to him when he crossed an invisible line that was apparently supposed to repulse ‘no-majs.’
That was before getting into Desiree, one of the few witches to become a proper ghost. According to her, witches and wizards had a different system, and it was rare for magic users to enter the Infinite Realms. Dora’s dragon amulet had also been enchanted prior to her death, although that could have been a ghost’s work, and Dora had never shared where it had come from.
Anyway, the point was that Danny knew about magic as an entity separate from ghost powers and at least a small subset of the living beings that relied upon it.
So, when the woman who dressed like she was living a century ago and smelled of magic walked up to his house, he’d braced himself for a fight. He wasn’t going to let his parents be ‘obliviated’ again. They were oblivious enough as it was!
But. No. She’d come in, no wand in sight (although Danny still wasn’t entirely sure those were necessary) and sat down on the couch, hands primly folded, ignoring all of the… rather questionable features of the Fenton living room.
To add to the weirdness, his parents had been expecting her. They knew her by name. They wanted Danny to be in the room to meet her.
“Edna,” Jack said, with a strained smile. “How have you been?”
“Well enough,” said Edna, her eyes flicking to where Danny stood in the kitchen door, watching. “And this must be young Deneb Alased, correct?”
“Yeah,” said Danny, frowning. There weren’t a whole lot of people who knew his legal name, let alone his middle name. So, who was this? “I am.” He looked at his parents, willing them to clear up whatever this was.
Both of their faces were sour, but they were trying to hide it. Maddie was doing better than Jack.
“This is Edna,” said Maddie. “Why don’t you come and sit down, Danny?” She patted the back of Jack’s favorite recliner.
Danny noticed how Edna’s mouth twitched down at his nickname. His fingers curled, ghost energy buzzing under his skin just barely kept from his eyes. He didn’t like this.
“It’s alright,” said Edna, smiling kindly. “This must be very confusing for you. I would be concerned myself, under these circumstances. What I’m about to tell you may be difficult to process, however.”
“We’d like to start it off, actually,” said Maddie. “When you called this morning—” She broke off, making a face. “We were told this wouldn’t happen.”
“Yes, well,” said Edna. She shrugged. “Purebloods. What can you do? Evidently—Well. You should have your say, first.”
Danny gave Edna another suspicious glance. Maybe all wizards weren’t bad. Maybe Freakshow was an outlier and sports fans just sucked in general.
Yeah, honestly, that tracked. (Cough, Vlad, cough, Dash, cough.)
He sat down. “Okay,” he said. “Way to be ominous. What’s going on?”
“Well, Danno,” said Jack. He laughed nervously.
“You’re adopted,” said Maddie, bluntly.
Danny blinked. “Wait, what?” he said. “Adopted? But I look just like you guys!”
Jack’s nervous chuckles continued. “We are related to your birth parents… not closely, but… Yes.”
“Oh my gosh,” said Danny, feeling several layers of personal identity float away from him. He’d always blamed his weirdness on genetics and family history. Especially the ghost stuff. Then again, his name, which definitely did not match with his parents’ or sister’s, probably should have tipped him off. “You’re serious?”
“I’m afraid so, Danny,” said Jack, kneeling by the chair and patting his knee. “But don’t worry! You’ll always be a Fenton, no matter what!”
Danny nodded, swallowing back emotion. “And Jazz? Is she…?”
“She’s adopted, too. At about the same time as you, in fact,” said Maddie. “So am I and Alicia. It’s a long story.”
“Okay,” said Danny, determined to get that story at some point. “Why is she here, then?”
“I was involved in your adoption,” she explained, “and certain members of your birth family want to get back in contact with you.”
Ancients, that was sure a thing to hit a guy with right after the ‘you’re adopted’ revelation.
Hold up. He was forgetting something. This was a witch. How did that play into this? Because it had to. Witches and wizards, as far as Danny could tell, tended to isolate themselves from the rest of humanity.
He decided he did not like the probable trajectory of this conversation.
“Why?” he asked, because he wasn’t going to say he knew about magic until and unless someone else cracked first.
“Yes,” said Maddie. “Why? Why now? We were under the impression that they would never contact us.”
“Evidently,” said Edna, “Deneb’s birth mother was not properly informed of the decision to put him up for adoption.”
Okay. Yeah. That was a lead-in to his biological parents being magical because he couldn’t think of a single modern western country where that would fly.
“So, what? I was kidnapped at birth or something?” asked Danny.
“Not exactly,” said Edna, wincing. “It was your birth father who filed the paperwork.”
“And she’s only now wondering where Danny is?” asked Maddie, a little shrilly. Her stress from before was now spilling over into anger so sharp Danny could taste it like a knife on his tongue. “Did she somehow manage to forget giving birth?”
“No,” said Edna. “Which brings us to the other matter. One of the other matters. The one who first sent the request for your adoption information was actually your twin brother.”
A third monumental revelation. Wonderful. What next?
“We, of course, contacted his parents, and discovered the irregularity regarding your birth mother’s consent. Hence my presence here today.” She opened her bag and removed a small glass tube, about twice the length of Danny’s palm and the same diameter as a quarter. “There was also the issue regarding how young you were when you were put up for adoption. Generally, our agency deals with the placement of children aged from five to eleven.” She held the tube out to Danny. “Could you hold this, please?”
“Do you really need to do this?” asked Jack.
“Due to all the irregularities involved, yes,” said Edna. “Our organization charter unfortunately requires it. If the mother was not consulted, as is required, the reasoning is that other required things are not as certain.”
“Hold up,” said Danny, hands tightening around the ends of the armrests. “These people—” Who were most probably wizards, and wasn’t that a thing to get his head around, “—they’re not trying to get custody of me again, are they? After giving me away?”
“No,” said Maddie. “We won’t let that happen.”
“We’re not going to give him back to people who were going to abandon him just because—!” Dad broke off. “Uh. Because.”
Smooth.
“You know,” said Danny, deciding to cut off… whatever this was. “Even if this ‘test’ is, like…” He trailed off. “Whatever result you want it to be. I don’t know. I’m still going to find out whatever it is you’re dancing around anyway. Because I’m not going to forget this conversation.”
Silence.
The witch twitched slightly towards where Danny knew her wand was hidden.
Screw it. “And I’m not going to let you erase my memory. You people do get how messed up that is, right?”
Danny was treated to the sound and sight of three jaws dropping open.
“How do you-?” started Maddie.
“You remember when we went to that camp because people thought it was haunted? But you didn’t find anything? Well, they managed to get both of you that time, but not me. And I know you’re one of them, so I’m betting that whatever this is, it has to do with magic.” He paused. “It was some weird magic sporting event, apparently.”
“The-? You went to the Quidditch World Cup?” asked Edna.
“What? No!” protested Maddie. “That was in Britain, wasn’t it? We were just in the next state.” She scowled. “I’m going to write a letter of complaint. Even if we’re living without magic, we’re not no-majs. We’re squibs. They had no right to obliviate us.”
“Okay,” said Danny. “Yeah. You’ve lost me. Squibs?”
No one seemed willing to answer the question.
“If you’d just take this,” said Edna, holding out the tube a little desperately. “It will be much easier to explain all at once.”
Danny looked up at his parents. Jack looked at Maddie. Maddie drummed her fingers on the back of his chair.
“It’ll be fine,” said Maddie, “probably.”
“Fine,” said Danny. He took the tube. Almost at once, it started glowing green.
“Oh,” said Edna, frowning and leaning closer. “It usually isn’t—”
The tube exploded, embedding several small glass shards in Danny’s hands.
“Ow,” said Danny.
“Oh,” said Edna again, evidently not registering the small splinter of glass in her cheek. “Well. Whoever your birth father hired to test your magic as an infant obviously got it wrong. Congratulations, Mr. Fenton. You’re a wizard.”
“My hand is bleeding.”
“Yes,” agreed Edna. “It isn’t supposed to explode, you see.”
.
Once Danny got cleaned up, which involved a lot of glaring at Edna from Maddie and Jack, they adjourned to the kitchen, which was free of random glass shards.
“The adoption organization I work for,” said Edna, “places squibs—people born to magical parents who do not have magic themselves—with families of squibs. Assuming the child’s birth parents do want to give up their child over something like not having magic.” Her nose wrinkled. “The common wisdom is that it is easier for such children to grow up in an environment that is not explicitly magical. In any case, it is my personal belief that anyone who would give up a child over something like that isn’t going to be the best of parents.”
“Alright,” said Danny, “so… all of us are squibs.”
“Except you, apparently,” said Edna. “It’s hard to tell whether or not someone as young as you were when you were given up will be magical or not. Which is why we usually only deal with older children. I don’t suppose you’ve noticed anything odd happening around yourself? Or unusual abilities?”
Danny stared at her flatly for several long moments. His entire life could be classified as ‘odd,’ and most of it he wasn’t about to share with Edna. Or his parents, as much as he loved them.
But, on the other hand, he now had a great excuse for at least some of his weirdness. His parents wouldn’t think ghost if they could think wizard first.
“Like, define ‘odd,’” said Danny. Despite his earlier encounters with wizards, he had no idea what was normal for them. Other than memory wiping. Which he could not do and wouldn’t have demonstrated anyway.
Okay. If was actually a wizard, and Edna’s doohickey wasn’t just reacting to his ghostliness, he probably could learn how to do the memory thing, but he didn’t know now, so the distinction was meaningless.
(Maybe being a wizard or a squib or whatever was why he wasn’t just. Dead.)
(Yeah, he didn’t want to think about that.)
“Just… Being in one place, and then a different place. Surviving something you shouldn’t have been able to unscathed. Things moving by themselves or changing color or size. Temperature changes. Something you want very badly happening, even if it is impossible or extremely unlikely.”
“Okay,” said Danny. “Yeah.”
“To which one?” asked Jack, concerned. “I haven’t noticed anything like that except what the ghosts do.”
“Um,” said Danny. “This?” He put his hand down on the table, intending to leave an icy handprint. That should be acceptable, right? If temperature changes were normal…
His nerves got the best of him. He knew he was nervous showing even one of his powers around his parents. He overcompensated.
The table was covered with frost.
“Oops?” said Danny.
All the blood had left Edna’s face. Jack and Maddie didn’t look much better.
“Dear lord,” said Edna. “You can do that at will?”
“Yes,” said Danny, holding his hand close to his chest. “More or less.”
“Danny,” said Jack, “why didn’t you tell us?”
“I thought you’d think it was a ghost thing. You kind of shoot first and ask questions later about ghost things.”
“Oh my god,” said Edna. “Never mind that. You can do wandless magic and you’re fourteen?”
“Fifteen,” said Danny, “but, yeah. I guess.”
Evidently, this wasn’t normal.
Also, his comment about shooting first hurt his parents’ feelings. Go figure. Not like they weren’t keeping a massive secret.
.
“So,” said Danny, once the other discussions had been shelved for the time being, “I have a brother? I think a brother was, at some point, mentioned.”
“Yes,” said Edna. “A twin brother. He wants to meet you. Along with your biological mother.”
“And if I don’t want to?” asked Danny. “If I don’t want to have anything to do with them?”
“I don’t even know,” said Edna. “I can’t believe you slipped under the national detection spell. There’s going to be so much paperwork involved in this. International paperwork.”
“Huh?”
“You were born in Britain,” said Edna, as if this were a minor detail.
Yeah. Like his sense of self needed any further pummeling.
“But it isn’t our fault everything is so messed up,” said Danny. He maybe had some curiosity about his twin brother, but if there was any risk he’d be taken away…
“I understand,” said Edna, “but nothing like this has come up before, as far as we know.” She sighed. “If it makes you feel better, I will use any influence I have in the matter to recommend that you retain custody of Deneb. In the meantime… Do you want to, uh, open communications with any members of your biological family?”
“I don’t know,” said Danny. “Can I think about it?”
.
Relations in the Malfoy household had been strained ever since Draco’s investigation of his family tree (unrelated to the return of the Dark Lord and how blood purity was now much, much more important) had revealed that his twin brother had not, in fact, died at birth.
And by strained, Draco meant that his parents had taken to living on opposite sides of the manor, interacting only when there were visitors. Visitors such as his father’s Death Eater friends, members of society, and various government officials. All of whom were more alike, and had greater overlap, than even Draco had initially suspected.
This left Draco walking on eggshells between the two of them and wishing for Hogwarts to start again. Anything he did to please one had to be entirely out of sight of the other, or else they began to fight again. Truthfully, Draco was more on his mother’s side, all things considered, but his father was the one with the friends, and Draco couldn’t stay home under his mother’s wings for all his life. Like his dragon namesake, he had to fly.
Which he would most certainly do. Soon. No, he wasn’t hiding from his parents in his room. That would be ridiculous. They knew where his room was. They could find him if they wanted to, and neither of them was anywhere near him. He knew. He’d checked.
This made the inarticulate shriek of rage he overheard from his mother all the more concerning.
It was enough to make him emerge – cautiously! – from his self-imposed exile.
He was curious. And stupid. It got him into enough trouble at school, why not at home?
Also, he really needed to know. For his own safety. Tiptoeing around whatever disaster just happened would be impossible if he didn’t know what it was.
Instead, he tiptoed after his mother.
His mother, who was angry enough that sparks were coming off the end of her tightly gripped wand. Green sparks.
Draco had never actually seen the killing curse in action, but his mother’s face screamed murder all on its own, no magic required, despite the fact that Draco was only catching glimpses of it as she strode towards his father’s half of the house.
This was going to be bad. Terrible. Possibly the kind of event that saw one of his parents in Azkaban and the other in little, tiny pieces all around the smoking room.
Lucius, for his part, looked paralyzed where he stood, and Draco briefly entertained the notion that Narcissa had managed to cast petrificus totalis on him without moving her wand or speaking the words.
Narcissa planted herself firmly in front of Lucius and glared up at him, seething, her breath making sucking noises as it passed through her teeth.
She punched Lucius in the face. The man toppled, clutching his nose. Narcissa kicked him.
It was a good thing that the Malfoys had no neighbors, because what Narcissa screamed next likely could have been heard for at least a mile.
“He wasn’t even a squib, you lying bastard!”
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Hi Méli! Congrats on 800 💖
For the event, may I ask for Benn, Gaban or Smoker with prompt 17 from the fluff part? The character being the one saying it.
Thank you ☺
note: hi Issa! thank you for your request, and honestly i will never refuse to write a little for Gaban 👉👈. you'll see that this writing is more like a scenario than a drabble and that's because of its size, but i covered in this writing the theme of insecurity of one's own body and since it's a topic that touches me a lot, i went way beyond my word limit!
content warning: scopper gaban x fem!reader / insecurities, self denial, fluff.
word count: 1k.
It was sometimes difficult to find a quiet and isolated place on the Oro Jackson. You had been looking for a long time for a place to be quiet, to be alone. It was rather cold that evening and you shivered a little when you found yourself facing the sea, with your back against the bow of the boat.
Thoughts were racing inside your head and you couldn't concentrate on any of them. You didn't usually like to be isolated like this when the evenings were already in full swing. You loved to spend your evenings laughing, drinking and talking with the rest of the crew.
Roger was the brightest person on the ship, both in presence and character. He was always cheerful, confident in himself and his crew. And he was an excellent companion for drinking and laughing, he made you think of a wood fire that warmed your being. Of course, then there was Rayleigh, just as much of a party animal as Roger, but more mature, and he would screw over everyone here. You had an unshakeable trust in him. And finally, your favorite person on the boat was your sidekick Gaban. He was both your best friend and your love, even hidden. You felt at home when you were with him. He was a comfort that no one could give you and you were never bored with him.
This whole world was your family and you never liked to be left out. But the discussion the men had had about women just before you slipped away had really upset you. At first you didn't like the way they talked about women, as if they were pieces of meat to be collected. And then they started listing the things they liked about a woman and no matter how much you looked at yourself, you didn't see any of those things about you. Of course, your goal was not to please them, you considered them as your family, but it always hurts to know that most people don't like you.
So to avoid losing face in front of so many men, you slipped away discreetly. You knew when you got on the Oro Jackson that it would be difficult to be one of the few women on this boat, and this moment reminded you of this sometimes difficult condition.
This kind of situation made you hate your body, your way of being. It made you regret not being more feminine. While more and more obscure thoughts were taking over your reason, you didn't hear that someone was standing next to you.
❛❛I was looking for you everywhere, why did you isolate yourself like that?❜❜. Gaban's voice made you look up at his muscular figure that came to obstruct the wonderful sunset in front of you. The sound of his characteristic deep voice had made your heart beat pleasantly and a sincere smile came over your face. ❛❛I was feeling a bit stuffy so I just walked away for a bit, that's all.❜❜ Gaban stared at you, and crossed his arms, not at all convinced. ❛❛Yeah, allow me to seriously doubt that. You wouldn't miss a single opportunity to spend time with me.❜❜
The pirate's confident tone made you laugh a little and allowed you to relax. You looked down at your hands as you folded and unfolded your fingers, and decided to be honest with him. ❛❛Actually, I was feeling a little uncomfortable with the talk about your taste in women, and I'm feeling a little... crummy, so I thought I'd just keep to myself for a bit.❜❜
You couldn't see Gaban's gaze, hidden behind his glasses, but you could feel him clearly focused on you. ❛❛I see. You think you're unwanted if I understand correctly.❜❜ You nodded slowly as you looked away, a little embarrassed. He sighed a little as he moved closer to you.
❛❛I don't see why you should feel bad. We can't please everyone all the time, and our bodies can't meet everyone's expectations. And I think that's fine personally. I don't really like knowing that a lot of men like what I like, because that would mean sharing you.❜❜
A sound choked in your throat as your heart felt like it was about to explode. Gaban had dropped those words like a bomb but continued his lyrical flight as if nothing had happened. ❛❛You don't see the way some men look at you, but I do. And I don't like knowing that you feel bad about yourself either. I think you're beautiful, despite your imperfections, and I'll even say they make you even more beautiful in my eyes.❜❜
You were now looking at him a little strangely, you couldn't tell if it was the alcohol that made him so poetic and open with you, but he seemed so sincere. Gaban chuckled a little at your disconcerted face, and moved even closer to you, pinning you between the bow behind you and his body.
❛❛To be honest, I never imagined that I could be so haunted by a voice, by a neck, by shoulders, by hands as beautiful as yours. I think about you all the time, you fascinate me and disconcert me at the same time. I could look at you all day long and never get bored. What I mean is that you have eyes that were so good to live in that I have never known where to go since. Your mouth is a call to crime, and I am the biggest sinner there is.❜❜
His face was now only inches away from you, and you hadn't even had time to take in all of his beautiful words before his lips were already touching yours. His hands gently rested on your hips, and he smiled as he felt you slowly return his kiss. You could have stayed there, embraced for hours, but someone, probably Roger, was chanting your names for you to join them and you were forced to untie yourself from Gaban. This last one smiled at you before whispering in your ear: ❛❛Will you allow me to repeat this crime a second time?❜❜
↬ 𝖈𝖍𝖔𝖔𝖘𝖊 𝖇𝖊𝖙𝖜𝖊𝖊𝖓 𝖍𝖊𝖆𝖛𝖊𝖓 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝖍𝖊𝖑𝖑 ↫
tag list ☆ : @decayz @pirate-shrimp @chloe-abbacchio @issatheartist @doctorgerth @ochizokulevy
-> HEAVEN SIDE ☀️
#heaven side#eight hundred angels#one piece#one piece writing#one piece reader insert#one piece x reader#meliwrites#one piece scenario#scopper gaban#gaban x reader#scopper gaban imagine#scopper gaban x reader#issa ilu🌸
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The mayhem of the Goblet of Fire
Chapter 2 of Different Light
A/N- I had so much fun writing this chapter!! I hope you guys like it too. Also thank you for all of the support on the first one ❤️ let me know what you thought?!
Warning-swearing, angsty (light), SLOWBURN, long chapter
Pairing- Harry Potter x Malfoy!reader, Fred Weasley x Malfoy!reader
(Let me know if you want to be tagged)
————
You dig your nails into the wood of the stool and notice the murmuring crowd all going silent as the hat speaks to finish. “Oh, I see now, better be...” It inhales deeply before he gets the chance to announce the choice—as if the bloody thing had lungs.
It made you more nervous and get the thought to snatch the bloody thing off your head to throw it on the floor and stomp on it, but you stopped such a thought before it could become a reality as you heard it finally boom out its response. “Slytherin!”
The Slytherin’s on the table jumped from their seats to share in an uproar of cheers, whoops and applause, hearing your family name being chanted here and there. The excitement they had made you smile warmly and shyly as you stood from the stool. Letting your eyes find your brother who was almost unseen behind the crowd of the other Slytherins around the table; with a happy and prideful grin as he also joined in the cheers and applause.
The slight excitement created by your new house members however did not make you go unaware of the reaction and attitude of the other three houses as you walked back to your seat; some clapped while most sat in silence with bored looks on their faces, hearing as well, soft but loud enough ‘boos’ that scattered amongst the crowd of the other houses. Making you think who were the real snakes in this school.
“I knew it.” Draco shared excitingly, “see I told you that you’d be placed in Slytherin where you belong.”
You sighed softly, a gesture he didn’t catch before you answered with a small smile decorating your lips. “You did. I should’ve known.”
He shared one last smug smile before he sat back down and you smiled and thanked the congratulatory and excited pats on your back and shoulder you would receive from the other students around the table; hearing as the table silenced moments later to let Dumbledore continue with the rest of the placing.
In that moment noticing before you got distracted with something else how when some of the first years were placed in Slytherin, they received the same reactions you had; the same ‘boos’ and bored looks, something that made you regret thinking that you wanted to be placed somewhere as Gryffindor, and made you prouder that you actually got placed here instead of somewhere else that was filled with such spiteful people.
Not everyone did it, but plenty did you notice before your attention was taken away by catching the gaze of a certain dark haired boy sitting on the Gryffindor table. Neither of you looked away when you locked eyes, instead seemed to focus on each other and almost seemed to get lost in each other’s eyes. It felt almost as if you were trying to read each other's thoughts or, trying to notice a difference in the small premises of your eyes; a flicker of emotion, or a reflection of the candle lights above and or the reflection of each other. And of course you knew it was difficult to detect something of the sort from the several feet separating the both of you, but it wasn’t hard to notice his curiosity, the questions running wild in his mind that reflected in his eyes and face.
It made you question yourself as you looked away, what exactly he thought of you? Why did he stare like you did? Why did he stare at all? Maybe he’s trying to figure you out? See if you were anything like your brother sitting beside you, or just something completely worse. You were like neither...but people never saw that….he wouldn’t be any different.
“Well, now that we’re all settled in and sorted.” Dumbledore announced brightly, pulling your full attention away from your mind and back to the events happening around you. “I’d like to make an announcement. This castle will not only be your home this year, but home to some very special guests as well.” At that Draco lightly hits your shoulder with his to pull your attention on him and his smug knowing smile; something only obvious to you since you knew what it meant, unlike the rest who were clueless to what there was to be excited about—“you see, Hogwarts has been chosen—”Dumbledore pauses as some man who someone whispered was called Mr. Filch came running to him, whispering something in his ear after he caught his breath.
“So, Hogwarts has been chosen.” Dumbledore continues, “to host a legendary event. A Triwizard tournament; and now for those of you who do not know the Triwizard tournament brings together three schools for a series of magical contests; from each school a single student is selected to compete. And let me be clear, if chosen, you stand alone and trust me when I say, these contests are not for the faint hearted, but more of that later. For now please join me in welcoming the lovely students of Beauxbatons academy of Magic and their Headmistress Madame Maxine.”
A group of beautiful girls in light blue silk uniforms walk past the doors not seconds after the announcement, making every student's attention instantly go their way. Everyone's eyes (especially those infatuated with the girls) widening in amazement just as their lips parted; while some others whispered amongst themselves like Draco and his two friends, but not like the small brunette who sat almost glued to your brother, scoffing and rolling her eyes like some other girls around as well; a couple that looked at you expecting the same bitter reaction when in reality you didn’t think much of it, just that it was all exciting and entertaining and more lively than days in Durmstrang.
Of course there were fun days (mostly because of what you would pull—especially to get expelled) but Hogwarts was far more exciting, with their visitors and their especial entrance; the way they walked in with a delicate swing of theirs arms and made blue butterflies appear out of thin air that soon turned into blue sparkle as they finished their “performance”. Even the school you once used to go (as boring as you thought it was) made an effort to impress the school. With their loud entrance that unlike Beauxbaton caught the attention of everyone; with the rhythmic smacking of their canes against the stone floors that caused orange sparks, the way they dealt with them and flipped them around before they ran forward to the front and revealed their “best” student and famous player, Victor Krum. A revelation that caused some students to gawk at him. While you, the only other student who’s been to that school and seen the man some admire just clapped almost absent-mindedly and instead focused on what Draco had to say to you.
“You’re going to enter the tournament right?”
You shrug and pull your eyes on him. “Father would want me to, it would make him proud if I did.”
“And you’re far more capable than any other student here, father knows that, which is why he would want you to do it.” Draco agreed.
You hum softly and think; entering would make your father proud, it would definitely make him forget the things you did to get expelled from Durmstrang. And entering is also something you want, for the risk of it all. Not only the praise.
So turning back to give Draco the answer he was waiting for, you let a small smile tug on your lips and words to come out more excited than you thought, “I’ll do it.”
Draco shoots you a smirk before his attention is stolen by the brunette still at his side, leaving you alone in a hall full of excited students all still yammering away about the events announced and the students that traveled here, everything just becoming louder as the food was out. All while you just sat and watched quietly, eyeing the people in the same table as you as they glanced at you and whispered. It was something you've grown used to, but still never liked. It truly just made you feel isolated like before—and yes, Draco was here, but he was doing his own thing and he was also a year below you, so to say that you would always have someone to really talk to was a lie.
Hopefully soon you actually will have others that weren’t just Draco to confide in, also someone who didn’t whisper behind your back. Or in this case right in front of you. Maybe also someone to distract you from all these bloody announcements too!
“Your attention please!” Dumbledore spoke out once more, “I’d like to say a few words. Eternal glory, that is what awaits the student that wins the Triwizard tournament, but to do this that student has to survive three tasks, three extremely dangerous tasks, for this reason the ministry had it seem fit to impose a new rule. To explain all this we have the head of department of international magical cooperation, Mr. Bartemius Crouch.” The exact moment Dumbledore finished and said man walked towards the Headmaster, lightning and thunder erupted from the ceiling, an action that startled you, but was hastily stopped by an old man named Alastor Moody that had one eye and walked with a limp. He said nothing, just moved to the corner and let the man from before finally start.
“After due consideration, the Ministry has concluded that for their own safety, no student under the age of seventeen should be allowed to put forth their name for the Triwizard tournament. This decision is—”
An uproar amongst students erupted at the news Mr. Crouch announced. A news that made even you scoff and throw your hands to protest against it; feeling your eyebrows furrow and hearing the words you thought of be shouted out loud by other students. “That’s rubbish! That’s rubbish! Boo!”
“Silence!” Dumbledore interrupted, his outburst making people calm down and watch as he made the gold statue beside him gently cascade down to reveal a goblet with blue flames burning above it. A sight that made your anger subside and be in a state of awe for a brief moment until voices broke through the crowd again. “The Goblet of Fire. Anyone wishing to submit themselves to the tournament need only write their name on a piece of parchment and throw it in the flame before this hour on Thursday night. Do not do so lightly, if chosen there's no turning back, as of this moment, the Triwizard tournament has begun.”
Yet you couldn’t enter anymore. A dream you had once was now nothing but dying particles that only had whispers of wishes to be seventeen to enter.
Being left staring at the blue flames longley, until something sparked in your mind. A crazy idea that made the corner of your lips lift into a smirk.
——
“Welcome sixth years and….fifth year. My name is Alastor Moody and I’ll be your defense against the dark arts professor.” The man with one eye announced as he wrote down his name and underlined it with a white line, turning back to address the crowd about the first lesson; something you tuned out as you looked amongst the crowded class for an empty seat that was preferably not next to the Gryffindor ginger, or really next to anyone.
Not because you wanted to isolate yourself precisely, but because what you’ve been trying to plan all day, almost all week to get your name in the Goblet of Fire needed to be done discreetly in order not to get caught beforehand. You had done so successfully in except for in Arithmancy next to Hermione, the small, big haired Gryffindor girl; but as nosy as she was throughout class, she very secretly in her own way trying to get you to pay attention as well, you managed to find some charms and potions; not the right one yet, but that’s why you were still trying. Incredibly hard.
Which is why you needed to be on your own to not get snitched on, but...by the looks of it and by Professor Moody’s persistence you had to take a seat by the Weasley boy. Who says nothing just like you don’t as you sit next to him, noticing right away before anything else, a familiar yet bitter smell of gunpowder that offended your nose radiating off him like strong waves. It was overwhelming for a couple seconds but you managed to move past it and pull out your notebook of notes, ignoring what the teacher had to say and instead focusing on your solution.
Ignorant to the fact that the boy, whichever twin it was, was looking over your arm and peeking at your notes, (so much for not wanting anyone to find out) it took him a minute to understand what you were quickly writing, but he caught on quick and you didn’t notice. It made a smirk tug on his lips. And as he was going to comment something, your last name was called out.
“Malfoy!”
You snap your head up and your eyes widen as your eyebrows lift at the sudden, startling call. “Yes?”
Professor Moody blocked the board with his body before pointing to the board behind him, “the question.”
Your lips form into an “oh” and your eyes search the crowd for an answer, but you go clueless to what he had been talking about. Right as you were going to simply give up, the Weasley boy discreetly passed a note with the two words,‘unforgivable curses’ written on the parchment and it right away let you give your answer with ease, having known and been taught this before. “The three unforgivable curses are the Cruciatus Curse, the Imperius Curse and the Killing Curse.”
Professor Moody grunts and turns back to the board whilst throwing back a comment at you. “Next time pay attention.”
“Yes sir.” You mock in a whisper before not even seconds later taking the parchment and writing ‘thank you’ and sliding it back to Weasley boy. Earning not seconds later a quick note back with the words, ‘I’m Fred.’. It made you smile shyly and write down, ‘y/n.’ Before returning it and expecting nothing back, but in that getting surprised at the next note. ‘What are you writing down there on your notes?’
A sigh leaves your lips this time and you turn to shoot him a glare and a simple shake of your head. Not trusting him enough with your plan—even if he was the first person to ever fully acknowledge you throughout your first week at school. No one else dared talk to you. No one in your care of magical creatures….well there was your brother's friend...girlfriend? Pansy, but she was all kinds of annoying and rude, so no thank you, you’d rather be friendless. Like now….
Even if a friend or two wouldn’t hurt.
So maybe telling Fred what your plan was wasn’t all bad?
Maybe?
….no….he’ll know soon enough. Plus like he’d want to be your friend. After what your father and brother told him and his family at the World Cup, you wouldn’t even try being friends with yourself; even if you weren’t like them. Or tried not to at least.
Regardless he’d know your plan if it came out successful, which you had the full confidence it was going to turn out fine. It was to make your father proud so it had to. It was going to work.
——
“Look at them, they wish they had half a brain to even know how to rig the goblet.” Draco snickered behind you, his little posse not hesitating to follow along with much more strained laughter, but something that slowly dwindled as Draco pushed past them to sit next to you and peek over your notes as you nervously tapped your ring on the bench and muttered to yourself the plan you had been working on all week. Thinking that all of it, all the brainstorming, late nights studying, hours of reading, researching and missed out opportunities to do anything really on your first week, accumulated to this, your findings on a self made charm to rig the age ring and enter the TriWizard tournament.
Of course you knew that if it worked and you somehow got chosen there would be hell to pay, but let’s just face that when the time comes and focus on getting this right.
“You’ve got it?” Draco asks beside you as he pulls away to sit up straight.
You sigh, but manage showing a confident smile as you lift your head to face him, lifting your hand from the bench to stop the tapping and turn your ring back into its normal position. Proceeding to jump off your seat to land on the ground with a thud the moment your boots hit the ground; smiling wider at your brother as you answered. “I’ve got it.”
Dracos lips turn into a wider grin right as he cockily crosses his arms over his chest and points his head to goblet. “Go on then.”
A shaky breath escapes you while you turn around, reaching inside your robes to pull out your wand. Tracing the silver snake wrapped around the handle of your black wand with your thumb for a couple of long moments; waiting for what seemed to be even longer as you inhaled and exhaled deeply before lifting your hand and letting the tip of your wand get close to the side of your head to move your wrist in a fluid swift movement to cast the charm on yourself. This time only waiting briefly to see if you were going to maybe explode, or turn into some old woman, but luckily noticing none of those results and turninh to Draco one last time to offer him a half smile before turning back to walk towards the goblet.
Hesitating at the point the tip of your boots had an inch left before they touched the light blue hovering age line. Breathing in deeply and exhaling slowly before catching, Harry Potter's curious gaze from across where the Goblets age line drew, shooting him a small smile that made you finally step in. An action that you thought was going to fail, but as you remained unscathed you were proven wrong; the fact making your smile turn into a smirk that motivated you to go on the tip of your toes and drop the piece of parchment with your name written on it, into the blue flames that instantly burned it as a sign that it was actually accepted.
The smirk on your lips turned into a happy grin as your name was never shot back and actually accepted, meaning your charm worked!
It bloody worked!
Quickly you turn back and rush back to your spot, in that missing the way everyone around gawked at you; especially the Weasley twins who commented amongst themselves on your achievement, “wicked.”
Before you reach your seat, Draco met you halfway showing a proud grin of his own; giving you a congratulatory pat on your shoulder that turned in a light squeeze, then ended with his arm around your shoulders as he talked you up. “I knew it. I knew it would work. Father should hear about this, he’ll be proud.”
Wrapping your own arm around him, you probe his comment further. “You really think so?”
“Even if you don’t get your name picked, I know he’ll be proud that you created your own charm.” Draco assured you with a sly smile.
You nod and smile, “I’ll write him of what happened soon.” When you reach your spot, you’re congratulated by the few Slytherins that were gathered around—a couple in your year and others below or above.
“Good job, Malfoy.”
“Way to go.”
“You’re a genius.”
A burning feeling grows on your cheeks after hearing your fellow housemates compliment you. Gestures that you weren’t really accustomed to. The only usual comments you would get from other people before would be, “death eater” (even if you weren’t!) “Daughter of a death eater.” Or, and here’s the best one, “bastard child.”. So that’s why small compliments such as those made you all flustered, they didn’t criticize or alienate you; at least not your fellow Slytherins. Or at least not yet.
“Look.” Draco called your attention, making you turn away from the other students and look at the crowd he was pointing at. Not joining the rest of the crowd and instead watching the Weasley twins somehow inside the ageline; hyping the crowd with their achievement before they both symontionsly inserted their names, grinning proudly and celebrating too early as seconds later two blue flames shot up and shot back at them, throwing to the ground out of the line. The scene making Draco and his friends chuckle with mischievous intent; with even more reason as the twins begin to fight as they turn old, growing white hairs and white beards.
All while you suppress an amused smile and only hide it by rolling your eyes. The commotion just like your amusement dying down as Krum, Karkaroff and his friend walked to watch said quidditch player insert his name as well. His sudden entrance however turned everyone starstruck. But not you.
All you were thinking of now was, how inserting your name in the Goblet worked, and the sudden chest tightening, nerve wracking and giddy feeling you had as you now counted down the minutes until the picking ceremony happened.
Hoping as you did so, that your name would be chosen.
——
How would it turn out if it worked and your name was chosen from—no, better not think of it anymore, not until the time came later today. There's been too much overthinking done during that time and now (lunch and the last class of the day). But that’s all you could think about; even during potions, a class you usually liked going to and did well in—even while you were purposely failing all your classes in Durmstrang.
However thankfully the picking was going to be soon and this worry was—
Suddenly your train of thought is interrupted as a piece of paper hits the back of your hand. You blink and feel your eyebrows pinch together at the sudden feeling; Lifting your head shortly after from its resting position on your hand and looking towards the direction the paper could’ve come from. Noticing the Weasley twins looking your way with mischievous smiles on their thin lips whilst they also pointed to the note with a move of their heads.
Right as you were going to reach for the note, Professor Snape spoke in a much louder commanding voice. “All right, group up and try mixing the potions yourselves. Carefully. I see any mistakes, I'll take off group points.”
A sigh leaves your lips and you drag yourself off your seat while also dragging your notebook off the table and walking towards the group you had been assigned to; seeing right away and almost regretting sitting down in the same table as these twins—who by the way didn’t hesitate to speak, rather ask the question you knew was written on that note; “so, Malfoy how did you do it?” One of them asked first, your mind unable to tell them apart at first, not until you noticed his nose and the nose of the other still quiet twin—this one, who you now identified as Fred, had a straighter nose, wheres...the other twin had a more slanted one. It was a weird thing to notice, especially since you had only just met one officially earlier today, but it was a fact that when you examined Fred’s face stuck with you. Good thing too.
“Yeah, Malfoy, tell us how you managed to put your name in the goblet,” The other twin asked as he walked to stand on your other side, having both twins trap you from each side. “When we couldn’t?”
You shrug, “I’m seventeen.” You lie with a smirk threatening to show as you pushed Fred to the side to begin doing your given work.
Fred scoffed, “liar, we know all the kids from our year and our father said you were one year older than Ron, you’re not seventeen. How did you really do it?”
This time the smile breaks through as you can’t help but focus on what he had already paid attention to about you. A smile that was sadly short lived as you recalled to the time your father had been rude to their family; a memory that burned in your mind and made you wonder why they even tolerated talking to you and didn’t treat you like the youngest Weasley boy? With a cold glare that had every ounce of hatred for you shown through it.
Of course you liked that they didn’t treat you that way, but it was well deserved.
Thinking so made you comment on it. “Does it matter? Why are two even talking to me considering what my family name is?”
Unbeknownst to you while you’re concentrated on your “team work” they look at each other and share a light hearted scoff before remarking just the same. “So? That doesn’t matter.”
“Yeah.” The still nameless twin agreed in a voice that got louder the more he seemed to get excited, “you, a fifth year managed to rig the age ring and enter your name in the Goblet of Fire.”
Your head snaps to him and you shush him, “be any louder?”
He shrugs as a response and continues in a loud whisper, “it was bloody wicked, that's what we think.”
“Enough so that we want you to be our friend….”
Your breathing falters and your heart seems to stop at the comment Fred shared, the suddenness and boldness of it almost causing you to drop your flask and gasp. Albeit you were lucky enough to not actually express that out loud; oh and not drop the actual flask. But it did take a couple of seconds to grasp the idea of it and refocus your mind on his words.
“...tell us your secret.”
Dropping the last ingredient into the cauldron you put the flask back on the table and begin to unknowingly rub your wrist with your other hand. Feeling every level of flustered before questioning his comment. “What?”
Fred smiles, “tell us your secret first.”
Oh.
“Well, I’m smarter.” You manage to snap back with a smirk.
“We know that.” Fred scoffs. “But what did you really do?”
“I—”
“You three chatty people in the back.” Professor Snape interjects. “Why don’t you show the class how you did the potion.”
“Well,” Fred speaks up only to get cut off right away.
“Show us, Weasley. Up here.” Snape points to his Cauldron.
The three of you share a look before slowly pulling yourselves to the front of the class, avoiding every pair of eyes and instead focusing on what you had to do—them more than you since they didn’t actually do any of the work.
“Actually you two,” Snape points, “demonstrate for us. Miss Malfoy, you stand beside me and watch alongside your other classmates.”
Doing as he said quietly, you stand by him and begin to mentally swear to yourself; once more sharing looks with both boys as they looked to you for help, lifting potions as “discreetly” as they could to not call a lot of attention. But of course that didn’t work, the professor caught on and rapidly lifted his arm to block your face with his book. Leaving you blind to their actions, going off only by the small explosion shortly after as a defeating sign.
“Points off. Get back to your seats and focus next time or else I’ll give you all detention.”
The three of you return to your table in silence, remaining that way all until class is finally over. Returning as expected to the topic from before. Something that you didn’t mind at all.
“Alright then, spit out.” The nameless twin spoke out as he fell by your right side and Fred fell by your left.
Crossing your arms over your chest you shrug nonchalantly, “tell me your name first.”
“George.” He answered impatiently.
A smile tugs on your lips as you finally reveal it. “I made my own charm that would only last for a few minutes to help me trick the ageline.”
They both look at each other to comment simultaneously, “wicked.”
Fred then grinned down at you and added excitedly, “well what are we waiting for? Let’s hurry to see if your name gets picked.”
An excited grin grows on your features, just as your heart flutters with the same emotion before the three of you are rushing down the halls to make it to the great hall. Thinking to yourself as you’re feeling the air hit your face, if it’s really true they’ll be your friend now?
No matter who you are?
Hopefully.
——
“Now the moment you’ve all been waiting for!” Dumbledore exclaims over the crowd, “the champion selection!” He turns to point to the lit fires to dim their light. The sudden change in light that signified what was to come made your heart madly beat in your chest, made you instinctively tap your ring on the table; whilst you also tried to ignore the curious gaze of Harry Potter, as well others and the burning glares of other fellow Gryffindors around the table George and Fred invited you to sit on.
Instead fully focusing on the Goblet of Fire, watching nervously and excitedly as the flames turned red and burned with more rage as it threw out the first name, Dumbledore didn’t wait to announce. “The Durmstrang champion is, Victor Krum!”
Why is that not a surprise? Of course it was him.
Regardless of your thoughts you clapped along with the roaring crowd, continuing to watch as another name got picked and called. “The champion for Beauxbatons is, Fleur Delacour!”
Again you clapped, but at the moment you could feel your chest tighten with all the nerves you felt at what was to come, knowing the Hogwarts champion was next. The twins also knew and showed you excited, goofy grins, whilst Fred also playfully hurt your shoulder as a single parchment was thrown out and Dumbledore finally announced what you’ve been anxious to hear. “The Hogwarts champion, Cedric Diggory!”
Bloody hell.
At the sound of the name announced you can’t help but frown in disappointment for a moment, clapping slowly and with added bitterness.
“Excellent!” Dumbledore continues, “We now have our three champions! But in the end, only one will go down in history, only one will hoist this chalice of champions, this vessel of victory, the TriWizard cup!” The crowd booms with excitement, while you try and make yourself feel as excited in your disappointment. Stopping albeit as the blue fire emitting from the Goblet began to dance upwards, turning red once again and spitting out another piece of parchment that made you feel as if your heart had stopped.
Only being disappointed one last time as, Dumbledore announced someone completely unexpected that made you and everyone grow shocked and silent. “Harry Potter?!”
.
.
.
.
A/N-also just to clarify two things, I know it might’ve been too quick for the twins and reader to be friends, but legit they knew what she did and wanted to, no matter who she was!! And also with Draco I know here he might act different, but that’s only towards his sister, he looks up to her, so that’s why he’s nice (for now) one last thing....any Trio name ideas??
Tagged- @peter-laufeyson , @swiftlymoniquesblog , @spideyyypeter , @gsvshsjsbs, @accio-prozac , @cherriesanwine , @kokomaesadie
Permemant taglist- @ms-dont-care, @paintballkid711
#harry potter fanfiction#harry potter and the goblet of fire#harry potter imagines#harry potter imagine#harry potter x reader#harry potter x malfoy!reader#harry potter x you#harry potter x y/n#fred weasley x malfoy!reader#fred weasley fanfiction#fred weasley x y/n#fred weasley x reader#different light#Draco Malfoy#lucius malfoy#we’ll see Dobby next part!!!#george weasley#hermione granger#ron weasley#trio names???#fanficition
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The Final Ritual and the other 13 Entities
So I’ve been thinking, since the only ritual to succeed in bringing in all the fears was still controlled by the Eye, what would it have looked like if it were one of the others in charge? The end result would have to be the same, since all 14 have to come into the world or else none of them will stay, but there are a lot of elements to the ritual itself and even how the new world works that seemed to be exclusive to the Eye. Here’s what I think would have to be the same: obviously the Archivist position is important, so I think each of the Entities would have to come up with their own “center”. A person, or something else, who has in some way been marked or touched by all the other fears, but still embodies their main patron. Also, since the original Watcher’s Crown was still present in the main ritual with the Panopticon being another center of power, I think the Final Ritual would still be based on the original ritual attempt, or at least take some ideas from it. The whole thing would probably vary based on who does it, but those are the elements that I think are important. So here’s my ideas of what that might look like for the other Entities.
The Buried’s ritual was the Sunken Sky, and they basically just threw a whole town into a pit. Gertrude’s idea to counteract it by throwing in someone touched by void could actually be used to enhance the power of the ritual, I think. Instead of just the Vast, the person thrown in could be marked by every fear, and would have a role in the new world as the center of power. The new world would be completely underground, with maybe only Vast domains in the sky above, and the center of power would stay in a chamber at the center of the Earth, roots reaching out to pockets of space where other domains exist and drawing in sustenance. The Center might even be a good name for the role, evoking the image of them being surrounded and crushed.
The Corruption didn’t really have a ritual, but it’s implied that it was trying to crawl through a door made by Prentiss’ worms. Maybe it would instead crawl in through a person? The focus of power, marked as usual by every fear, would spend some time festering in rot and preparing themselves to be a perfect home for the Corruption, until it bursts out of them. The new world would probably be covered in bugs and mold and other agents of the Corruption that go around feeding on the fear harvested by the others. The focus of power could maybe function a bit like a Hive, connected to every being of Filth that lives in and feeds them.
The Dark attempted to make a world of the Extinguished Sun, using a literal dark sun they made in space. I think it would be present in the new world, but probably not the main focus of power since it doesn’t have a way to include all the others. This one would probably be similar to the Eye’s, with someone marked by all the fears performing a simple ritual to bring darkness and fear to the world. Instead of the sky being covered in eyes, there would be no light anywhere except for the domains, where people need to see what they’re afraid of. The world might even change to be like the empty darkness of space, with the dark sun and the focus in the center and the domains orbiting around it. I think the focus of power would end up blind, maybe even performing the act as part of the ritual, and be able to sense and feed on fear without their sight.
The Desolation’s cult probably had the right idea making a Messiah for their version of the Scorched Earth. That is essentially what the Archivist was for the Eye, except they didn’t know that she had to be marked by all the fears. So, Agnes Montague would be the focus. It’s implied that the goal was to eventually destroy Agnes and release her power, since she prevented the ritual in canon by dying in a less destructive way. I think this would probably still happen in the main ritual, using the power of Desolation to destroy her body and release the power of all the fears. She would probably still rule the new world as a form of energy, like a massive flame that burns with the force of all the fear being fed to her. Like a flame, I think the world ruled by Desolation would burn out quickly. Sure, all the fears would be there for a while doing their thing, but Desolation would want to consume faster and faster and would likely run out of living beings fairly quickly, leaving them all to starve.
The End doesn’t need a ritual, since it eventually gets everything. I think it wouldn’t bother trying to bring in all the fears, but let’s say for the sake of argument that it wants more, and decides to kill its siblings. That would probably be the whole ritual, just ending everything in the world. It would feed for a little while as everything dies, then fade away like the rest of them. A world ruled by the End would be nothing, essentially, but it’s nature as an eldritch being means it would have to have something to feed on, so those two things don’t really work together. It would probably create a kind of Death God, marked by all the fears, to bring them all together only to be killed. Which is probably why it doesn’t want a ritual at all, it wouldn’t be very interesting.
The Eye, of course, had the Watcher’s Crown, brought by the Archivist who was marked by all 14, and drinking in fear from all the others through its Panopticon. It’s possible that since the Archivist wasn’t originally the one in the center watching everything, there could be more than one center of power. But he also said that the Eye wanted him there in the Panopticon, so I think it’s natural for the one who is marked to also end up in the center.
The Flesh had The Last Feast, a ritual where they just threw a bunch of meat in a pit. Not very creative, but I think the pit was supposed to represent a mouth. Maybe it was supposed to end with the Flesh consuming it all and coming into power, but it never got to finish since Gertrude blew it up. In order to work and bring together all the fears, the pit would have to consume some element of all of them. The simplest way to do this would probably be to prepare sacrifices that have been marked by all the fears; throw in someone that was consumed by bugs, someone who fell off a building, someone who anticipated their death their whole life, etc. The pit itself would probably be the focus in the new world, perhaps coming into being as some sort of creature. Or else the ritual could be altered and a person or animal consumes the flesh marked by fear, and that one would be the ruler of the new world. Whatever form it takes, the being of flesh would be fed fear in its physical form, consuming until it all runs out.
The Hunt was never able to complete the Everchase, because they didn’t want the hunt to end. Simply catching its prey probably wouldn’t be enough power for the ritual anyway, so the hunt would have to involve all the fears and coalesce into some great event that changes the world, then starts the chase all over again in the new world. The focus of power could be someone who is hunted by some aspect of each fear, then in turn hunts them. Maybe it takes the form of an arena of some kind, where 14 avatars are thrown in to kill each other, with the goal of the Hunter winning the fight. It would probably take a few tries, but the victor of the hunt would get to continue their chase once every fear enters the world. They could have their pick of victims, much like Daisy who traveled between domains, killing whoever she pleased.
The Lonely ritual involved isolating a bunch of people, with the goal of eventually cutting them off completely and leaving them the stew in their own fear. I think whoever the focus of power is, they would have to be alone right from the beginning of the ritual. They would go around and face each of the fears, being marked by them, all without any human contact except the avatars who hurt them. This would be difficult to orchestrate unless the person was willing, but their isolation would bring the fears together with the Lonely in charge. They would rule over the new world by themselves, of course, never interacting directly with any of their victims but still benefiting from their fear. The world itself would probably be very spread out, with most of the people being fed on having to face their fears alone, except for where being around others is involved in their fear.
The Slaughter ritual began and ended with World War II, called the Risen War. It’s implied that it failed because the ship it took place on wasn’t blown up in the end, but I think people deciding to end the war had something to do with it as well. I think the ritual could only succeed if the people involved fully commit to the fighting, and of course if it is able to involve the other fears as well. This would probably involve something similar to my idea for the Hunt; a massive fight involving avatars of all 14 fears. The Hunt’s fighting would play out a little differently, with the main focus being tracking down and killing their prey, but the Slaughter’s ritual would just be an all out bloodbath. The focus of the ritual, which will be called the Soldier, would have to fight and be injured by all 14 fears, but emerge victorious and bring them all into the world. The Soldier would have the power to kill anyone with ease, although the domains would probably bring back its victims to be killed over and over again. The new world could even be structured like a war, with the Soldier leading the fight against anyone and everyone, fears fighting amongst themselves for more power.
The Spiral attempted to create a world that didn’t make sense in the Great Twisting. I think the construction itself could have included all the other fears, like 14 monuments to each of them. I can’t imagine marking a single person to be very powerful, because to be closely affiliated with the Spiral, their mind would be changed in a way that would probably make them process fear differently. It could work, but I think focusing the power on the ritual itself would be more effective. Maybe the sacrifices they brought could be avatars of other fears, each thrown into the Distortion’s hallways and absorbed into its being. The ruler of the new world would be something not quite a person, not quite a structure. Victims would be thrown around different domains to disorient them, and the laws of physics probably wouldn’t work right. Imagine a scary funhouse with different fears there to scare you, and that’s probably what being in the fearpocalypse ruled by the Spiral is like.
The Stranger would have a bigger version of the Unknowing. The original idea had only a dancer, a choir, and a powerful skin artifact. I think if they wanted to include all the fears, the performance would have to be expanded to include something that represents all of them. They could have a puppet act for the Web, some kind of shooting display for the Slaughter, maybe a gross animal show for the Flesh. I’m imagining a whole carnival of fear, maybe one that goes on for a few days to build up power. Since the dancer is the center of power for that ritual, I think she would have to be the one marked by all the fears as well. Or maybe just their presence in the ritual would be enough, I don’t know. The final result, instead of having an eye watching everything, maybe would have the Dancer in charge, drawing power from every being that feeds on fear.
The Vast tried to throw a bunch of people in a submarine, but even Fairchild said that was probably not well thought out. I usually have this one mirror the Buried though, so let's say the ritual is to throw someone marked by the fears into some kind of vast space. It could be the ocean, the sky, space, whatever is scariest for that person. The new world would probably be very open and not have a lot of ground, but enough for other fear domains to exist.
Finally, the Web also avoids a ritual because it likes the world how it is, but that's not entirely true based on what we learn by the end of the series. It has a hand in completing the Eye's ritual not because it wants all the fears in this world, but because it wants all the fears bound together so it can escape into another world. It knows that in a world with the fears, at least the way the Eye designed it, life and fear is finite, so it wants somewhere that it can always survive. I think if it took the time to plan, it could figure out a ritual that would bring the fears and make it a renewable source of energy. It must be possible, Annabelle even said that she thought the Eye was a bit simple, which makes me wonder why the Web wouldn't just do the ritual itself. It was likely missing some information, or it just wasn't in it's nature to take over like that. But for the sake of this argument, let's say the Web did figure out how to bring the fears into this world and not run out of people. Maybe just let them age and have babies. They would need someone marked by the fears, and would probably be able to do it the fastest if it decided to directly interfere. I could see the ritual itself involving weaving a sort of web, like connecting the strands of consequences together. The focus of power, the Weaver in charge, could pull the strands of the world and keep things running smoothly and efficiently, so that no one goes hungry.
#tma#tma entities#tma analysis#the buried#the corruption#the dark#the desolation#the end#the eye#the hunt#the lonely#the slaughter#the spiral#the stranger#the vast#the web#the flesh
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I kinda wanna write a better version of tlh where Tatiana is still insane but there's no Belial bc that makes zero sense to me
In this version there would be:
Kamanna done correctly with actual genderqueer rep and not toxic relationships
Barbra and Oliver bc fight me she didn't die
Genie and Filomena bc I love them and all the lightwoods are queer
The gracelet doesn't even happen bc I refuse to write that
Grace is pretty much still the same but she breaks off their(hers and james') relationship bc she notices that he loves Cordelia
No bad James. He's not a shitty person to Alastair, and he doesn't treat Cordelia like a sex object
Anna puts a stop to Kellington and Matthew's relationship before it gets serious. She also tries to get him to stop drinking all the time
Alastair apologizes around seeing them again for the first time. The merry thieves are a little reluctant because of some of the things he did but they don't actively try to keep him away from events that they're at
Matthew notices how Alastair looks at Thomas and locks them in the sanctuary with Genie and Cordelia's help
Grace gets badly injured due to a mistake in necromancy and Christopher helps her treat it without letting people know
Lucie meets Jesse, and falls in love ofc, so in order to bring him back successfully she asks Malcolm to train her in using her magic
Matthew opens up to his mom about the incident. She doesn't blame him at all and instead apologizes for often putting her work before him
Matthew finds out about Charles and Alastair because he found Alastairxs break up letter to Charles
Matthew, the mother hen he is, decided to attempt to murder his older brother, only being stopped by James who had been there at the right time
Kamala ends things with Charles and tells Anna that she still loves them and hopes that she will give her another chance
Anna told her that they needed time to think, and that she is worried how Kamala's reputation will be affected if anyone besides their friends and Anna's family finds out
Kamala respects her decision and doesn't contact her until Anna's ready to talk about things
The merry thieves don't ignore Christopher and they actively listen and help him
The merry thieves also aren't terrible to Grace bc they realize she's been isolated alone with Tatiana and 1) she might not understand what's saying/doing is wrong or 2) that sometimes she's trying to push them away so her abilities don't accidentally make them do something
Good tid parents
James and Alastair being respectful to each other despite personal differences
Matthew, Alastair, Kamala, Christopher, and Grace being besties, or as I call them, the neglected squad
No fetishizing mlm/wlw
Domestic cuddles and taking care of the other one when they're sick
Jesse/Lucie/Matthew pairing bc I love them and I refuse to pick between lucie/matthew and lucie/jesse
Christopher teaching Grace the elements(at the time) on the periodic table
Tatiana dies at the end yay
It's very unpolished and I'm open to b hearing any feedback and/or suggestions that anyone may have
The idea came to me and I decided it would be best if I told someone before I forgot
hi, I'm sorry it took so long,but I wanted to properly answer this and I keep having either internet connection issues or little time
DON'T BE SHY, WRITE THIS 👀
In all seriousness tho... THIS IS ABSOLUTE PERFECTION?!? I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START I AM UTTERLY IN LOVE WITH THIS IDEA, I NEED IT
Look, I've been on the verge of rewriting ChoI, and I keep saying I want someone to write a TLH that will live up to its potential, but I've never actually came up with a proper idea for it, and you?!! YOUR BRAIN DARLING THIS IS GENIUS
ok hold up I'll just react to each and every single one so
yes please?!? I mean it started off so sweet in EEV?! Also actually genderqueer Anna and not dancing around the subject like CC is doing now?! That's what they deserve, and that's what we all deserve too
yesss please. also just,,,, Barbara, the feminine, not-wanting-to-fight-which-doesnt-make-her-less-badass queen that she is, getting the page space and appreciation she deserves
that's actually brilliant?!? it would be so great, just imagine the new girl arrives for her travel year and Genie is completely awestruck. I'm so invested in Joshwood it's difficult to imagine not having them, but this is actually the only valid alternative?!
ok that's fine. I think it could still happen and be done well, but tbh for now... the gracelet doesn't seem to have done anything relevant to the plot itself? I mean yeah it messed up James's life and Jordelia, but what did it give Belial? Tatiana? nothing. It makes no sense atm.
could be! maybe she's still encouraged by Tatiana to befriend/seduce him, but without the gracelet it doesn't work out? or maybe James somehow manages to realize that she's in danger and he actually like,,,, kidnaps her? idk idk
yes. YES. just,,,,z James is a sweet compassionate literature nerd who accidentally makes a good leader and he actually cares about people, and not just judges them from his high horse; he does still have hero syndrome, but he's kind and respectful and overall a good character
ANNA INTERVENES ABOUT KELLINGTON PLZ. PEOPLE ACTUALLY NOTICE MATTHEW'S STRUGGLES. JAMES DOES, TOO, BECAUSE THERE'S NO GRACELET.
ok yes, so what about: basically TMT don't harass Alastair and accept his apology, and realize they were also being stupid and mean at times at the Academy (especially Math). Matthew doesn't want to accept Alastair's apology, because of The Sin, but his behaviour alerts the rest of TMT and they inquire what's wrong and he tells them about the sin and that's how he later tells his parents (because his friends encourage him) and as you say, she just hugs him and reassures him it's not his fault; so after that Matthew slowly begins to heal and accepts it wasn't Alastair's fault, and also since they've kind of adopted/started including Alastair in things, he can't help but notice he's actually changed and he even starts to grow fond of him
then like you said, Matthew notices Thomas likes Alastair PLEASE HE SO WOULD. I'm not sure about the Sanctuary, if it actually happens (I'll get to why later on), but him and Lucie get really invested in the matchmaking schemes, they include Genie/Kamala because these two are friends with Alastair (both? Or at this point only Kamala?) but they also share some Moments during their scheming/talking about love 👀 (yes I'm a Fairdale shipper, I think it's time to expose myself lol)
Which leads me to (sorry I'm going off order rn) YES YES YES LUCIE AND MATH PLEASE. A FELLOW SHIPPER, HELLO, NICE TO MEET YOU. But since we're actually fixing him then we can give Jesse a personality and I'm totally down for poly Math/Lucie/Jesse
Lucie seeking Malcolm's help in secret, morally gray heroine style?!? no, it's probably not legal. but also has there ever been a Shadowhunter like her? If the Law doesn't expect such situations, it can't really forbid them...
Plz Matthew ready to strangle the carrot when he learns about their relationship, YES. sure, maybe he's still not the biggest fan of Alastair, but he's seen how much the boy's been through and starts to develop an attachment to him, and besides, NO ONE DESERVES TO BE GROOMED AND TREATED LIKE THAT. He's SO MAD at Charles, and he confronts him about it - remembering Kellington as he does, and it makes him sick to think his brother would do the same thing to someone. Maybe he gets very emotional over this and later finally tells his friends about Kellington? Maybe they didn't know before, only Anna did? So when they all realize what was happening then they comfort him etc? Or maybe it's just Alastair that learns now, and the others knew before, and they share a bonding moment over that?
Injured Grace seeking Kit's help is a genius idea I didn't know I needed
Kamanna giving each other time and space and deciding they need to question their relationship and figure out if it actually makes sense would be great. Anna realising she's very privileged and Kamala doesn't have those same opportunities, and also in general realising coming out should never be pressured or forced. Just,,,, Anna being self-aware and respectful towards Kamala. Well-written Anna. Plz. Also Kamanna is actually developed and not just "in love" because,,,,, they're attracted to each other? Maybe even remaining friends while Anna makes up their mind?
yeah just TMT being more compassionate and less judgy because they're not written by Judith so her bias isn't projected onto them
It's not a want, it's a need. They adopt Alastair and Grace eventually. Like, maybe not literally - although, Grace? - but you know what I mean.
I think they all should just have various friendship dynamics and switch between them, because people need more than one friend group
no fetishizing, no watching your brother make out with his lover, yessss
yes domestic cuddles, affection, taking care of wounds, all those things. plz.
Gracetopher bonding over science yes
obviously. or maybe she's imprisoned?!
ok, now for some more notes/my ideas etc., if you don't mind:
I actually think Belial could still be featured? After all, I don't think Tatiana could do much on her own, and since she seeks help from demons, it makes sense to include a Greater Demon as well. But Belial would have to be a stronger villain, written better; I'll think more about this
if that was the case, the serial killer plot could still happen, but be done better. and it would allow for a scenario I talked about with @littlx-songbxrd to happen, where it's Alastair who's falsely accused of murder. It creates a great opportunity to explore some things, because we know Alastair is much more likely to be seriously suspected, considering all the prejudices and bad rep his family has and all that
...what do you say to well-written Jordelia? 👀 Cordelia hasn't been obsessively in love with James since childhood, she only had a crush then. And now that they meet again, she's fond of him but not in love, not straight away. They're both grown up, and different people, but as they spend more and more time together, they fall in love. What if Cordelia gets to flirt with some other boys first? What then. What if she ends up choosing James, instead of going for the only boy she's ever had feelings for and idealized since childhood. What if we even make it friends-to-lovers and have James be a little jealous at some point?! but not in a possessive awful way, just "oh damn oh no"
Now I won't know peace until this exists BUT THANK YOU
#ask answered#thank you this is brilliant#alt tlh#save for later#the last hours#tlh#anti cc#yes I'll be adding/thinking more about this I AM OBSESSED
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I Love Matthew Fairchild aka Incoherent Thoughts about Chain of Iron (2021) by Cassandra Clare
I made one of these rant-rave reviews for SJM's book so check it out if you want, no pressure tho lmao.
Aight so I finished Chain of Iron last night and OMG I HAVE TO YELL like I loved it sooo much like yooo, I have a lot to say. I know the book is new so... beware for spoilers plebs.
Also context: I been reading the Shadowhunter books since I was 12 and I'm 19 now *insert dead emoji face* so yeah, I'm just so happy rn with where the Chronicles have come and the fact that they’re still ongoing *insert uwu face*. I remember when in like 2014-2015 or something when Cassandra Clare teased that Will and Tessa's kids' generation was gonna get a trilogy set in Edwardian London, loosely based on Great Expectations, and holy hell? I think that was perhaps one of the best days of my life considering how much I adore The Infernal Devices (that trilogy really changed the way I see YA literature... don't ask cus I won't shut up about it) (also yes I read TMI and loved it too but there's a “generation gap” between TMI and the other Shadowhunter books stylistically so don't ask me about that either cus I also won't shut up).
Anyway, shoo from here if you want a critical essay on Chain of Iron. I'm not providing that, this is just me raving here for the fun.
Listen... I want the bulk of this to just be two main things: The Matthew Situation, and then all the literary and judeo-christian meta aspects of it.
BUT I ALSO NEED TO TALK ABOUT EVERYTHING ELSE SO FRICK LET'S JUST START WITH THE OBVIOUS SHIT LIKE THE PLOT AND WHATEVER
Okay, the plot and writing and shit, let's get that out of the way:
The WHOLE Jack-the-Ripper-esque ambiance was just sooooo good man wow like I did not expect the book to take this cold turn but it worked so well. There was such a contrast between Jamie and Cordelia's warm little house and then the cold winter and the stabbings and shit and it felt like a nice little callback to the actual Ripper phenomenon that preceded them and a nod to the Whitechapel Fiend story from Tales from the Shadowhunter Academy.
Bitch OFC that whole thing with Wayland was a set-up like nawww that was too easy to spot and I get why Cordelia feels like shit about it.
Dawg Lucie was just the Among Us imposter here in that my girl was just venting and sneaking around with dead people and I was like nooooo girl run, don't deal with Fade this is a set-up THINK ABOUT JULES LUCIE THAT'S LIKE YO GREAT-GRANDSON *sobs* but yeah anyway my girl has death powers she gonna kill some bitches next book.
You see that confrontation between Lilith and Belial? MASTERPIECE DIALOGUE like this was the point within which I was just like "yo is this the book of Genesis or a YA Fantasy novel" like when Lilith said "I may have been cast out but I did not fall" like??????????????????? I YELLED she did not have to END Belial like that. What a bad bitch.
More on Lilith and Belial... "You, who brought nations into darkness? Shall I finally be able to tell the infernal realms you have gone mad, lost even the image of the Creator." HAHAHHAHAHA SHE SAID "YO BELIAL GO GET SOME THERAPY AND GET OFF MY ASS" LIKE??????
Ughhhh yasss Clare has improved writing diverse characters in this book compared to in The Dark Artifices in my opinion... I'm not gonna expand on it cus ain't nobody got time for that but like, I enjoyed how she wove Persian poetry and tales into the story and the way in which she writes Cordelia and Alistair. They're not caricatures of Persian people but rather multi-faceted beings who also happen to be Persian and I appreciate that. Also, Alistair and Thomas and Anna and Ariadne were just so fun and interesting to read as coupbles but also as individuals. She really higlighted diversity in a very natural manner. All I need is a hijabi character and I’ll die a happy woman lmao.
The level of META man like the references to Classics and art (I swear, she might have compared Matthew to angels out of Caravaggio AND Rosetti AND Boticelli paintings and I Am Living For It) and just all the quotes from holy books and shit omg I love it here like you really feel catapulted into the time period, she draws reference to external art and philosophy so well and I feel like she upped the notch on it in this book (didn’t know that was possible but it was the prose is BEAUTIFUL, archaic, but not pretentiously so). No, like the characters live in their OWN worlds of literature and art and history in the way we are living in THEIRS. They quote Wilde and Milton while we'll quote Clare. It's awesome.
This is an unusually structuralist take even from me but: I like the way the milieu social of the book, i.e., the high society Edwardian circles and their values, have a direct influence on the plot. James and Cordelia got married because society’s values essentially forced them to, not a demon. Cordelia abandons Jamie at the end of Iron because her shame as a woman in society and fear for her reputation made her, not a demon. Thomas and Alistair can't be together solely because of how Alistair tarnished the reputation of the Fairchilds and Lightwoods by using the horror of infidelity against them. Issues relating to marriage, gender roles, etc, stemming DIRECTLY from the time period rule the sequence of events to the same degree as the epic fantasy aspects (demons, Princes of Hell, the lore itself) do and I LOVE that dear God above.
OKAY THE GOOD SHIT LET US TALK ABOUT CHARACTERS AND SHIPS (N.B. but imma discuss Matthew and the Fairstairs situation separately below this portion):
Alistair's redemption arc: No, cus Alistair's redemption arc is honestly amazing. He really did change and it's not like his betterment as a person was linked to any one heroic deed but rather he simply decided he wanted to be better especially for his family and he decided to become a proper protective son, a caring brother, and an amiable friend. He fully owned up to his Malfoy tendencies and apologized without expecting forgiveness. He shows how he cares in the little ways and omg it's so sweet and tender. I really do want him to love himself now and be embraced by Matthew especially and the rest of the Thieves.
Dawg Lucie and Jesse are so funny to me like it's so hilarious how this girl fell in love with a whole ass ghost that no one else knows about like HHAHA. Are Lucie and Jesse my ult ship ever? Nah, but it's nothing to do with Clare, it's just that their relationship happened pretty quick and feels quite like something epicly romantic that Lucie herself would write. I just like slow burn and friends-to-lovers the most from Clare. To be honest part of me just wanted Lucie to not have a romantic arc all together but like, it's all good, I'm not complaining.
Okay Grace- like yooooooooooo I never hated her yunno. She has been abused and isolated all her life. It's not that she is a bad person, but rather that she does not know what being a person even entails. Can't even say she's a “doll” of a person cus she's never even been pampered like one by her family. I really started understanding her motivations since when they gave us her half-childhood with Jesse. I want better for her but cmon can she REALLY be saved???
GRACE X CHRISTOPHER *pretends to be shocked*... Okay, sometime in the middle of the Dark Artifices series some big brain put together a very thorough family tree of the families and like, it clearly showed that Grace and Christopher got married so like, lmfaooooo, I knew this was coming one way or another, but the journey to this ship is more important than the destination. Like in a way Christopher is such a cute baby lamb that it makes sense he'd end up being immune to her Grace-ness when he's just a cute little Einstein boiii. Like this is just so funny to me cus he's so oblivious to social conventions while she makes the milieu social her entire life so OFC it's gonna work. Like, this is such a worlds-colliding trope like just Give It To Me.
James and Grace - aw mannn Jamie just had me fricking wanting to hit a wall every two seconds cus like yooooooo every single time I think he and Cordelia are gonna stop being emotionally-constipated spouses, Jamie says some kinda shit like "omg me and Daisy are just friends uwu" like DO I NEED TO HIT YOU?????????? See I can't blame him for not slamming the door on Grace's face even tho he totes should- Jamie is so cerebral and kind that even if Grace wasn't using the enchantment on him, I think he would always be soft for her even if it isn't in a romantic way. There's just so much miscommunication cus like he said "Thank God" when she broke off the engagement with Charles and lowkey embraced her but it also wasn't his fault cus it wasn't even romantic BUT OFC IT LOOKED HORRIBLE TO CORDELIA like James literally never told the woman at least once that he loved her so OFC she thought she was back to square one with him dear God above what a mess. Not his fault, but she DID set down one rule for him: don’t cheat with Grace. And yeah even tho he hasn’t properly cheated, it must FEEL horrible to her cus she’s just been enduring the pain of their unrequeted love for so long :((
See imma just say it but if Cordelia thought that James didn't love Grace then she def would have confessed to him about her feelings right but like James, on the other hand, was delaying his own romantic confession cus he was BEING EMOTIONALLY CONSTIPATED and I can't even say the bracelet was solely to blame cus like my boi was just being so difficult omg I believe he should be lightly spanked by his three parents aka Will, Tessa and Jem *cries*.
Cordelia is such a MOM like she's so mature and stable and her self-preservation instinct? OFF THE CHARTS I love this woman like James definitely treated her well as a hubby but like I JUST WANTED HER TO HAVE CLOSURE ABOUT SOMETHING and boy oh boy she did get that closure she got it good but not from the person she expected in the LEAST *hehe* *pelican screeching*... like Lucie was being sus with the whole ghost business and James was being just, quite a case, dealing with Grace and Belial right and I don't blame them at all for their secrecy and shit but her FATHER DIED and her friends were hiding a lot from her so in a way she turned to Alistair for help but he could only do so much cus of his own pain (she couldn't even talk to her mom cus she's pregnant and she doesn't wanna stress her right) and then there was this emotional block between her and Jamie, Lucie was often absent and conspiring with the dead... the last person remaining was HIM (imma discuss this soon), but yeah my heart just went OUT to her cus she's tryna save herself and her family and she just doesn't know what to do. That's why I love the way her mom told her to stop holding herself back for others and live her own life. Like Cordelia grew on me so much cus in Gold she undoubtedly was a strange Elizabeth Bennet-wallflower hybrid and I... do not usually get attached to wallflowers but in Iron I feel like I finally understood that she was just tryna be unproblematic and self-preserving all along and nottt put her family and friends in a tough situation.... she reminds me of my mom personality-wise so yeah I’m totally rooting for her now that her *situation* in the past seems clearer.
Anna, Thomas and Matthew are such a SQUAD lmfaooooo like united in their gayness they'd be so unstoppable.
Will and Tessa are the most in-love of all the in-loves in this story and I respect that so much.
I lost a year to my life every time the romance between James and Cordelia got cockblocked. Like they were MARRIED and I thought they were gonna at least sleep next to each other at least once BUT NO James couldn't take a hint omg I'm actually gonna eat my fist and sob (but in retrospect, I think this serves a bigger purpose in terms of the narrative structure i.e. the interruption of all the spicy James and Cordelia action serves a bigger purpose which I think brings me to my next section, *exhale*)
Welcome to the Matthew Fairchild Enthusiast Club (this section is me talking out loud; it makes no sense):
bitch.
LISTEN TO ME LISTEN WELL I LOVE THIS BOY SO MUCH IMMA SCREAM I REALLY AM GONNA SCREAM MY FIST IS LITERALLY IN MY MOUTH *BACKFLIPS OFF THE ROOF WITH LANA DEL REY PLAYING*
Okay like where to BEGIN I think the Shadowhunter boy who I'm most attracted to is Julian while the one I love the most is Will but I think I see myself in Matthew the most. Like ever since that first story where the Thieves all met at the Academy then got expelled, I think that I just KNEW Matthew was destined to be epic. Plus the whole Wilde obsession? I’m no libertine myself but I just love his chaos and passion for life.
NO CUS HE'S SO WITTY AND SWEET AND EPIC AND YET SO SECRETIVE AND DEAR GOD ABOVE AHHHHH WILL HE SURPASS JULIAN FOR ME??? Ion even know but this is just sodjsgdwsdygyegydgef
Hear me out but I said after finishing Gold last March that I wanted this book to be Matthew's healing arc right so halfway into the book when I realized that we weren't getting all that good healing arcing I was confused just cus I thought it seemed natural to address all of his alcohol issues and sadness by now. LITTLE DID I KNOW CASSIE WAS SETTING UP A WHOLE OTHER ARC WITH HIM THAT I WOULD HAVE NEVER GUESSED WTH.
At first I thought Matthew didn't have feelings for anyone at all, and if he DID develop feelings unexpectedly, I fricking thought that maybe he's catching feelings for James, if anyone??? I mean, I did have some suspicions about Matthew from the get-go: like he's so secretive and as readers we think we know everything there is to know about him since we were all privy to the truth potion incident in his short story right BUT NO I GOT PLAYED AND I DESERVE IT SO BADDDDDD.
Listen I hadn't shipped him and Cordelia simply because I never thought it in the realm of possibility but it MAKES SENSE as a ship... think about it: he never says what he feels, he flirts with her like he does with EVERYONE, he is kind to her in the way he is with EVERYONE. Really, Matthew is shippable with everyone, doesn’t matter if they’re taken cus that’s just what his Matthewnes allows for ya feel. There is such a beautiful irony that CORDELIA herself did not see this coming. Even the little teasers and hints in Gold have only NOW started making sense to me likejhss. I just felt like the hints in book 1 did not indicate to me that Matthew really harbored real romantic feelings for Daisy. I thought he was upset that James and Cordelia were being fakes, not a developing CRUSH on the woman fgs.
Not to mention that you usually sense a ship building when the emotional connection or sexual tension between the characters is made clearer but to me their FRIENDSHIP grew right but it didn’t feel like Cordelia was thought that she liked him or he liked her so that means me and Cordelia are clowns *together* 😤
Okay I was lowkey having SUSPICIONS but I immediately shut them down right... like firstly when he took her to the White Horse in his car and she went OFF and OFF and off about how she felt free for the first time? I thought Cassie was just tryna develop Cordelia's self-liberation arc through Matthew there. Heck, I didn't even think ANYTHING of it when Matthew confession to Cordelia about the "truth potion" incident at all cus I was like they're FRIENDS??? BUT now it's adding up now...
See when they were at the inn place and he was telling her that she doesn't in the least seem like a 100 year-old married woman? I was like hmmmm he's so sweet but why did Cassie phrase it like that like??? When Cordelia later reiterated that she thought Matthew's flirting was “meaningless”?? I was like hmmm kinda SUS tho. And then when he and James had their fight over the way Jamie kissed Grace like again I thought he was just like? ion know? mad at James for it but I didn't think he was in LOVE with Cordelia??? So I immediately put aside my slight suspicions. The probability that he had a crush on James at that point seemed more likely to me.
BUT THEN it started hitting me that every time Matthew drank, even before he explained his issue with the truth potion, that Cordelia would note it, she would worry about him, she would think of her father which seemed so poetic to me, history repeating itself and all that but this time you can FIX it??? Yeah, but again I didn't think the L WORD would be involved man???
Now imma sound like a delulu shipper here but it just makes sense they would develop feelings logically- reason being that it definitely is possible based on the way Cassie set up the story, like there's a combination of little “friend things” that can turn this into a proper ship: Matthew rescues Cordelia in the ballroom when Grace captures James' attention in Gold. Cordelia sees her father in Matthew all the time but knows now she has a chance to be there for him in the way she couldn't have been there for Elias (classic “history repeats itself” trope, she doesn't want Matthew drinking in Paris like dhshghdfhdhch). Cordelia tastes freedom for the first time when driving with Matthew. Matthew caught James and Cordelia making out in the room and was pissed but not even HE properly knew why then??? Umm, when she thinks James is forreal cheating with Grace on her she subconsciously goes to Matthew??? I also found it funny just how every intimate marital moment between her and James got interrupted somehow. Like, it's as if the narrative is just a living force REFUSING to let James and Cordelia as a ship be consecrated. Heck, every time Matthew is scantily clothed Cordelia notes it. LITTLE CRUMBS I TELL YOU LITTLE CRUMBS.
I tell you when Cordelia showed up to Matthew's flat I thought they were gonna f*ck as friends but I got SOMETHING EVEN BETTER SOMEHOW
THEY ARE GOING TO PARIS LA BELLE EPOQUE PARIS THE PARIS OF DREAMS AND ART LIKE??? FRICKKKKK I DID NOT SEE THIS COMING AT ALLLL MAN? I deadass thought the story would be restrained to the UK but like it MAKES SENSE the trope subversion MAKES SENSE.
“In Paris, with you, I will not need to forget.” SHITTRGEGGGDG
BUT CORDELIA LOVES JAMES TOO LIKE I CAN'T DENY THAT... where are we GOING with this like Matthew wouldn't lie about his feelings and yet Cassie wouldn't give us Matthew and Cordelia crumbs to only end it in the next book immediately for her to just ditch him for James. I mean she was clearly holding back on fleshing out James and Cordelia as a ship for this but to WHAT END??? Daisy feels wild and free with Matthew and she feels warm at home warm with James. I can’t advocate for the sinking of ANY ship here.
Imma say what we're all thinking: Is she gonna give us a Will x Jem x Tessa type situation where Cordelia gets both of them cus I'm not strong enough for this but I also think it'd be really funny if James gets a surprise bi awakening in the next books and then we get POLY even tho this would never happen, it’s actually impossible, because of the whole parabatai thing.
Listen I ship Cordelia and Matthew much more than Cordelia and James, not that I dislike James in any way tho. It's just: Matthew is so unrestrained and she's so composed. They seem like an unlikely pair so it makes sense that they hit harder for me. James and Cordelia have such similar personalities but I ALSO don't ship James with Grace at all so like?? Poly would be... ideal... but it can’t happen especially cus they are fricking parabatai... a Will-Jem-Tessa situation seems more likely but mannnn ion know what to expect. I just want FAIRSTAIRS to have their moment in Paris. I mean James and Matthew clearly don't abhor each other for this.
Take everything I say with several grains of salt, take everything I say with the whole Dead Sea actually, cus I damn well know that Matthew is so flirty and whatnot that I’d have shipped him with anyone in their little circle but now that she set him up with Cordelia it all feels so right?? I have wanted this man in a good relationship since he walked onto the page in Nothing But Shadows so-
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
I can't believe Cassia duped me like this omg, Matthew is gonna have his healing arc in Paris with Cordelia by his side like- THIS IS ALL I HAVE WANTED AND SO MUCH MORE. Question to yall btw: are you all as surpised at Fairstairs as me or did yall see it coming all along like smart people? Am I a lone clown? 🥺
BRUH okay criticisms of CC?:
Lmfao a part of me feels like I GOTTA say something bad about CC or the book but honestly I have no objective complaints about it as of now. Am I saying that it’s the PEAK of Young Adult literature and Urban Fantasy? I mean, I make no such claims tbh. I’m not here to be critical when I read as a hobby and when CC’s writing makes me happy regardless of how flawed some people see it.
Okay what next?
So like I’m excited for the adult high fantasy she’s releasing in the fall and whatever other works she might be releasing outside of Chain of Gold within the Chronicles.
As for TLH itself? Man I’m just VIBING like I suspect I will reread Chain of Iron soon and maybe one of the anthologies just because I am happy that this series actually happened after me waiting like 6 years for it when it was just a concept: a Dickensian retelling filled with poetry and culture and history and the conventions I so loved in TID at age 12. This is all I been wanting tbh. I’m just enjoying watching this series come to fruition for it to inspire and transform me in some way. I feel like in a way my coming-of-age aligns with that of these specific characters yet I ALSO feel like I raised Jamie since infancy. Wack.
MATTHEW AND CORDELIA IN FRANCE LA BELLE EPOQUE TO BE EXACT IMMA CRY I DID NOT SEE THIS COMING AND AHHHHHH. ALSO WILL AND JAMIE GOING TO CORNWALL TO GET LUCIE AND MAYBE BOND I LOVE WILL. HE WAS ONE OF MY DILF AWAKENINGS AT AGE 12 AND NOW HE’S HERE AGAIN IMMA CRY. I WANNA SEE MATTHEW GET HAPPY. AHHH.
Ending with a fun quote: “In the wise words of someone or other, there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy, Maurice.” 😉
#the last hours#the shadowhuter chronicles#shadowhunters#will herondale#james herondale#cordelia carstairs#fairstairs#matthew fairchild#grace blackthorn#wessa#jessa#chain of iron spoilers#chain of gold#chain of iron#the infernal devices#ya books#books and literature#books#book lover#cassandra clare#cassie clare#tts fandom#book review#james x cordelia#chain of thorns#jordelia
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