#and it's also heartbreaking because she IS unapologetically herself in just about every other way | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

incarnateirony · 1 year

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when the prequel first leaked and everyone was excommunicating jensen about doing a show with john, i honestly still felt i could trust him to paint a realistic and unapologetic picture of john but also appropriately sympathetic and showing how heartbreaking his ultimate downfall was..... but even though i was aware about how this was going to go, i was NOT emotionally prepared to watch it play out, this shit is fucking HEARTBREAKING. maybe I’m wrong but he has grown and learned and experienced so much since we met him, i feel like for all of that growth to crumble he has to be mind wiped at the end of the show (maybe by his own consent, to save the day somehow?) - but mary won’t be, and (re)introducing herself to him will be her way out of hunting and into a normal life?

God, there's so much to this ask, and so much to say back. To start, I'll answer your final question first: Yes, but also, as above so below, and do with that as you will.

This series is honestly pulling the fandom's pants down. As a whole the fandom still hasn't accepted the metanarrative layer, either.

The biggest thing that this show is about to teach everybody is to stop trying to box everything into your own perspective and perceptions because it can, and will, and historically has fucked everybody up on The Truth.

Look at Roxxy--most Discovery so far about her and the Akrida is about, well, everybody being fucked up on context. Millie could read Henry's weird code because she understood context. This fandom, like the characters, do not know context.

Whether it be translation issues; written in code like a stenographer; in music, or spanish; if it's a Calibrian Syncretization or a Cambrian Equivalent, whether the Rugaru speaks french. Whether they're confused if it's a roach, an ant, a fly, or a bee.

The box doesn't kill them, it just moves them. Roxxy wasn't The Queen, she's just a reflection of someone else bouncing off The Queen, and fandom hasn't figured that out yet. Rockin Rocky has some secrets to face and some dissonance to break through about his Queen. His perfect woman. His M Butterfly.

If you ACTUALLY LISTEN, and don't ASSIGN your ASSUMPTIONS and BIAS, nothing about Roxy is evil. She wants the opening. She wants the pathway. It's going to take a while, but she will get them where they need to be. These hunters will be a problem.

But that's okay. They finally managed to meet and she finally told her that there would be a phone booth to exchange something. Not to suggest a Wedding Ring since the institution is meh but maybe a Music Box, or a Mixtape, or a Tape Deck. The Box does not kill her. That would be silly. Why would she want a box to kill her. She's just Dean's M Butterfly trying to get him to his wedding and he's running from her.

Too long didn't read please stop trying to box things into the way you think time should work and things like that because that's what has screwed this fandom up the entire time. Assumptions and not listening.

I have said it a hundred times and I am going to say it 100 more this is literally the plot. No seriously go ahead. Pull up everything about Roxy. Pull every quote about her or from her. Put them all on a notepad and realize how much of the perspective you guys have about her is because of things other people said about her.

It's assumed she's a bad guy because she seems to be pulling monsters to Lawrence or whatever. After all they were looking for answers about these stupid akrida monsters and oh boy they turned on the radio and this is the magic power that is calling all of the monsters here so this must be the bad guy.

After all, what other assumption is there than the first one you guys jump to in your head? It couldn't possibly be another reason the monsters are getting drawn to Lawrence right? The Narrative implied that it is the bad guy and it is the queen so it must be. Except that's not it and Robbie is about to take a giant Mallet to the entire skull of this whole fandom and all of its assumptions.

I continue to repeat. Most of you never played Persona at a formulative period and your life and it freaking shows that every mother fucker in this fandom would get the bad ending and just never bothered to ask anymore questions and figure the game ended like that. Every single person in this place I swear on my life.

For example every dumb ass that screamed about plot holes. Oh dear oh dear it must be a plot hole they do not know the Canon because Henry was in Normal; He couldn't have possibly been in Lawrence Except the truth is it was in the middle of a divorce and people never bothered to find that truth or even think of the option or ask the question.

And that just about summarizes the entire problem with this whole fandom. The things people assume are not the truth by Nature just because they imagined it within their own head.

If you lack context then you lack the truth. The words are as good as half broken code you can pretend is just scribbles. But, as I've gonged on about, there IS a Truth people are actually communicating, if you're willing to listen. We can't help those that don't listen.

Whether that be about John, or what this show's end of the road is, or anything else. Whether it be Akrida shrieking over the truth or your own passive assumptions. It's time to do away with those, cuz The Truth is coming. And she's a queen bee.

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reciprocityfic · 3 years

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#5 for amylaurie

5. that emotional moment that you can't find a plot for.

He’d never had a particularly happy life.

From the beginning, it had been marked with tragedy. He adored his mother, from what he can remember. But his memories, unfortunately, are few and far between. He tried to keep her smile, her laugh, the feel of her hugs and her hand wrapped around his tiny one locked away in his brain and his heart, but over the years, they inevitably began to fade. Before he knew it, he couldn’t quite get the tenor of her voice right, couldn’t remember the sweet words she used to whisper in his ear. She was like a beautifully painted picture, rather than a human being.

If there was someone who adored his mother more than he had, it was his father.

His father took her death the hardest. He tried to find a salve for his broken heart in all the wrong places, began gambling too often and drinking too much, frequently leaving his son alone late into the night to go out and drown his pain in whatever way he could. When his father was home, he could hardly stand to be around him. Everything about Laurie reminded him of her - his eyes, his hair, his nose, his smile. He reached his breaking point eventually, and then he sent Laurie away.

School had never been particularly hard for him. He was smart, he supposed, and he didn’t mind the company of his tutor. Boarding school was different, though. He never quite found a way to fit in. He was too quiet, not quite as rich, and Italian, which mattered in a way he didn’t understand. He always found himself at the center of negative gossip, the butt of too many jokes. He hated it, so he stopped trying to assimilate and let himself fade away into the peripheries of his peers.

When his father died, it was almost a relief; at least the man wouldn’t suffer any longer. But again, it threw him into a world of uncertainty and unfamiliar territory. It sent him to America, into the hands of a grandfather he had never met. As he grew older, he’d come to subtly resent his extended family for disowning him and his parents, and wondered if this grandfather would resent him back.

He didn’t. But his grandfather also wasn’t warm, a product of living so many years alone, Laurie supposes. He knows Mr. Laurence has experienced his share of heartbreak as well; there’s a beautiful piano that sits untouched, that the servants tell him belonged to the old man’s late granddaughter. The few times he tried to play it he’d catch his grandfather looking at him in a way that wasn’t particularly pleasant, so he stopped.

John Brooke - his new tutor - was pleasant enough, earnest and determined to please his grandfather by giving him the privilege of an excellent education. They often butted heads when Mr. Brooke tried to teach him; he couldn’t find him in himself to care much about learning anymore. Couldn’t find it in himself to care about much of anything.

Then, he met Jo March.

His grandfather had noticed his melancholy and sent him to a party to try to lift his spirits. He doubted it would work - how exciting could a party in Concord, Massachusetts possibly be, after all - and quickly found an empty side room to disappear in for a while until he’d spent enough time there that he could plausibly tell his grandfather he’d made an effort to be sociable.

It was there that Jo literally stumbled into him, and changed his life forever.

He’d never in his life met a girl like Jo March, one that was so boisterous and bright and unapologetically herself. In his world, every girl was trained from an early age to be prim and proper and polite, so that someday she might make a good wife and a fine young woman. Jo was anything but, and when he met the rest of the March family, he learned that they all were, in their own way - whether it be Meg and her unabashed love for dramatics and pretty things, or Beth sitting at her piano, playing until her fingers ached.

Or Amy, marching around in a pair of fairy wings and declaring that one day, she would be the best painter in the entire world.

His childhood memories of the Marches were all Jo, her fire and harsh edges and iron will, but Amy was always there at the edges, making herself known. She always seemed to be at odds with her older sister, but he thought that was because the two of them were the most alike in a way, like two opposite ends of the same string. He would always take Jo’s side when she recounted their latest feud, of course, but he couldn’t help his amusement at some of Amy’s antics. He remembers, when Jo told him that Amy had burned her novel, how his sympathy for Jo had existed right alongside of his wild amusement that little Amy March had the gall to even come up with such a thing, let alone follow it through.

But even though Amy was there, along with Meg and Beth, Jo was undoubtedly the main attraction, the sun at the center of his universe. His world was filled with her, with her smiles and laughs and hair and voice, with her words and her thoughts and ideas, and soon his heart was, too. He didn’t know much about love, but he knew he loved her. He knew he wanted her to be a part of his life always.

So, he’d asked her to marry him. It was the only thing to do, wasn’t it?

When she turned him down, he almost hadn’t been surprised. A part of him almost expected it; he hadn’t been particularly excited to ask her, after all. Rather, he’d dreaded it, dreaded the moment that the delicate balance they had built would have to tip one way or the other. He’d always known there was a chance she’d reject him.

That didn’t mean it hurt any less, though. He thinks it hurt even more when she left; he’d always known Jo to dive into every challenge head-first, but then she ran away to New York. She ran away from him. So he followed her lead, as he had learned to do so well over those years with her.

Heading back to Europe was much more bitter than it was sweet, and even the grandeur of cities like London, Paris, and Rome couldn’t stop the vibrancy from slowly bleeding out of his life. What had become a kaleidoscope of colors was now just grays and blacks and whites.

So he drank, and smoked, and gambled, and fucked his way through life, and in a macabre way, never felt closer to his father. Except he wasn’t heartbroken, not anymore - he realized more and more that he never expected her to say yes, not really. That she was right, as she usually was - it would have never worked.

He just felt lost. Unmoored, with nothing to anchor him. And he started to believe that maybe he was simply supposed to live his life this way, alone and adrift and apathetic.

Then, Amy March came barreling back into his life.

She was different, of course - namely, she was no longer little. She had traded her fairy wings and braids for beautiful gowns and carefully coiffed updos, and all her lofty childhood wishes had been replaced with a stoic, resigned realism. It would have worried him, that the world had taken her and hardened her, but he knew that the woman that threw her arms around him and happily shouted his name on that Parisian street, the world around her momentarily forgotten, was the Amy he had always known and cared for, however proper she might be now.

And she was proper, but he found it didn’t bother him like he thought it would. Instead, he admired her for it, that she had managed to grow up so gracefully. She was lovely, he decided. Lovely and refined and determined, so much so that it got him in trouble with her, sometimes. She was constantly after him to be better, to stop his drinking and laziness and make something of his life.

She wanted him to respect himself. He’d never really done that; all his life, he’d known himself to be a bother or problem, a thorn in someone’s side. He didn’t really know how to respect himself, but for her, he wanted to try.

The problem was, it was getting harder and harder to leave her side. She painted in his life with strokes that were insistent, but soft, and he found that her world was just as colorful as her sister’s. It was her own, of course; if Jo had been a red flame, then Amy was a golden glow, like sunshine. But he found that he didn’t mind the differences, that he maybe even preferred Amy’s version. It made him warmer than anything he’d known before.

He doesn’t know exactly when he fell for Amy. It happened slowly, gently, and before he could stop it, she’d taken up all the emptiness in his heart, filled it with light and life and love. Not that he would’ve wanted to stop it; he found he was quite content belonging to her. Even when she rejected him that first time, he didn’t try to remove her. He didn’t resent her, as he had temporarily resented Jo. He knew it was futile, that he was irreparably hers, and he decided that if he couldn’t be with her, he would at least make himself someone she could be proud of. He wanted to be someone she could respect, if he couldn’t be someone she loved.

But then, God had smiled upon him - for perhaps the first time - and she’d changed her mind. She loved him, she wanted him, she loved him. And when he kissed her that first time, she ignited something in him that no woman ever had before. He loved her, he wanted her, her and her only, he loved her, he loved her, he loved her.

His heart sang for her with its every beat. Every breath she took gave him purpose, every smile gave him joy, every kiss and moan and tug on his hair made his blood run hot through his veins. He was so full inside, wanted for nothing. He felt like all his life he’d been trying to shove himself into places where he didn’t fit, whether it be at school or with his father. With Jo. But there was a spot beside Amy, one in which he fit perfectly, like it was created with him in mind. And as long as Amy was beside him, he could do anything, be anything, survive anything.

One of the things that he loves most about her is her beauty. He can’t help it; he is only human. A weak one when it comes to Amy. When she hugged him that first time in France, he’d noticed how the autumn sun had caught the strands of her blonde hair, her cheeks flushed from the way she ran to him. He first let himself realize it in her studio, when she went off to meet Fred Vaughn. There was something about the way her cream-colored blouse laid against her pale skin, the way the blue accents brought out her eyes. How her pinned-up hair showed off her neck. He could do nothing but smile shyly at her, any coherent words suddenly caught in his throat. And every time he saw her, he noticed something else that added to her beauty, whether it be the delicate way she sipped her tea, her lips a pretty pink against the white china, or the way she blushed when he complimented her. Eventually, in a room full of women, she was the only one he could see, as captured as he was by her.

Almost three years later, nothing has changed.

He wakes up in the middle of the night to find her side of the bed empty. He’s almost positive he knows where she is, and almost rolls over and closes his eyes. But he can’t get her out of his head, so he gets up and throws on his robe. The moon shines bright enough that he doesn’t need a candle, and he leaves their bedroom, creeping to the next door down the hall. It’s ajar just slightly, and he slips inside.

And there she is, just where he thought she would be. Standing at the window, staring out into the night. She’s barefoot, dressed in a white nightgown, long hair cascading down her back. The moonlight illuminates her hair and skin. She’s breathtaking. More beautiful than any painting he’d ever seen.

Cradled in her arms is their newborn baby girl.

He doesn’t want to startle her, so he knocks gently against the door. She looks over her shoulder and smiles at him, but quickly goes back to gazing at the newest addition to their family.

He walks over to the two of them, placing a kiss on the top of her head before wrapping his arm around her shoulder and embracing her. There are a multitude of reasons why she might be in here - the baby could’ve been crying, it could’ve been time for a change or a feeding, or Amy simply could’ve missed her, could’ve wanted to hold her and watch her breathe. He suspects it’s the last one, but he doesn’t ask. He doesn’t want to disturb the peaceful scene in front of him.

He reaches a finger down to their baby, taps at her hand, until she opens her fist and wraps all of her tiny fingers around that one of his. Amy turns her face and nuzzles his shoulder, relaxing against him.

He’d never had a particularly happy life.

But standing here now, both his wife and his daughter in his arms, he knows nothing but.

send me a number and a pairing (preferably laurie x amy) and i'll write you a mini fic!

#amy x laurie #laurie x amy #little women #little women 2019 #amy march #theodore laurence #idk if this even fits the prompt?????#idk i've wanted to write this for a long time and finally took the opportunity #hope you like it anon!#anons are beautiful #thank you for the ask!

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staticscreenwriting · 3 years

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Love like the movies // Bucky Barnes // 5

Five - Dirty Dancing

Masterlist

Summary: This is a story of boy meets girl. The boy, Bucky Barnes, finds himself thrown into a world that seems so different from everything he’s ever known. The girl, (Y/N) knows entirely too much about rom-coms and is quite particular about the way she eats her popcorn. Bucky meets (Y/N) a few months after returning to NYC. He knows almost immediately that becoming her friend is inevitable. This is a story of boy meets girl. This is a story about love. (Bucky Barnes x female!Reader // a few spoilers for TFATWS)

Bucky wakes up to music. It's playing from outside the room, echoing through the halls and filling the apartment with sound.

It reminds him of when he was a kid and his mom would make them all breakfast as the radio would softly play in the background. She'd always have a smile on her face and twirl around the kitchen and sometimes, when they were still little enough, she'd pick up him or one of his sisters and slowly sway along with them in her arms.

It's a hazy memory, he's barely able to grasp it, but it's there nonetheless and that makes all the difference.

Rays of sun flood the apartment, coloring it in hues of orange and gold. Bucky steps out of (Y/N)’s room and into the hallway from which he can see straight into the kitchen. (Y/N)’s standing by the stove, a frilly pink apron wrapped around her waist and spatula in hand. Her hips shake slightly to the beat of the song and her lips move along with the lyrics.

Bucky wonders if he’ll ever get that. This feeling of pure comfort in his own home. To find who he really is and allow himself to be that person, no inhibitions, no holding back. Just be himself and be confident in who that might be.

“ You can keep standing there like a creep or you can come over here and help me, grumpy”

At the sound of her voice, he jumps a little, too lost in could-bes and what-ifs to realize she’s long noticed him leaning against the doorway. Her hair is a mess and there’s still eyeliner and glitter from last night stuck to her skin. But Bucky thinks she’s never looked better. It’s an intimate moment, to watch her in all her imperfect ways, move around her own home, being the most comfortable and at ease she’s ever been. There’s something about the way she looks at him then, showered in golden sunlight, a bright smile on her face. Bucky knows what it is he feels, deep down inside of him, flickering up like a light in the dark. He knows what it is. It’s not a feeling you forget once you’ve felt it.

He’s not gonna say it though, not gonna admit it to himself or anyone. All that can come from it is misery and heartbreak and while his heart is of very little value to him, hers means everything. So he’ll ignore it, shove it to the deepest darkest corner of himself and try not to acknowledge it in hopes it’ll go away.

“ You’re cooking? “ he asks as he steps up next to her, eyebrows raised in uncertainty.

“I’m making pancakes, and don’t look at me like that!” (Y/N) replies, swatting him with a dish towel, “ I know my cookies weren’t the best and I am well aware that my coffee sucks. But if there’s one thing I can make, it’s pancakes. Trust me. “

He does trust her. It’s something that he only fully realizes at that moment. Such an insignificant little moment. He trusts her, which is terrifying but also liberating at the same time. Maybe his life is on the right path. Maybe things can get better. Step by tiny step.

“ Hey, I ate your cookies, didn’t I? “

She looks up at him, a small smile playing on her lips, eyes shining with — something he can’t quite place. Maybe, he thinks, maybe he doesn’t need to know what it means. It means something and that's all that counts in the grand scheme of things.

“Yeah, yeah you did.”

For a moment it’s just them and the music and the bliss of a morning spent with a friend.

“ Okay, hand me the batter please?” (Y/N) says and points towards a big blue bowl standing by on the counter to his right. As he hands it to her though, (Y/N) doesn’t immediately start pouring the batter, instead, she dips her finger into it and holds it out to Bucky.

“ Try it, tell me if it’s too sweet. “

He’s hesitant for a moment. You don’t just go around licking your friends’ fingers. Surely social cues haven’t changed that much. But when she moves her hand closer once again and adds a determined “taste it before it drips onto the floor”, he wraps his lips around her finger, tasting the sweet pancake batter. It’s not too sweet, not at all, it’s perfect. He can’t really voice that thought though, not when his mind is somewhere else entirely. Somewhere it really shouldn’t be.

At that moment Bucky feels something he hasn’t felt in forever — arousal.

“ Good? “ she questions him as she pours the batter into the pan, a sizzling sound filling the kitchen.

Buck nods, completely at a loss for words. This is entirely silly and inappropriate. You’re not supposed to feel those things for your friends. Wasn’t this exactly what they talked about in the Harry and Sally movie? Sex ruining friendships. He can’t and won’t let that happen. Not with (Y/N). Not when he’s just starting to trust her. He needs this friendship more than he cares to admit.

“Grumpy? “

“ Hmm? Oh uh — yeah it’s good. “

And it is good, too good to give up. Too good to jeopardize it for some fleeting sense of passion. Too good to ever let go.

It’s ridiculous of him to put any sensual notions to such a silly little gesture. These things can be friendly. Innocent. People probably do it all the time with no ulterior motives. Maybe he needs to go with the times, let go of antiquated morals. Yeah, surely that’s what he’s gotta do.

They’re sitting by the kitchen counter, (Y/N)’s plate licked clean while Bucky is struggling to finish his pile of pancakes.

“ Do you want the rest of mine? “

“ Did you not like them? “

“ No, I did! I ate an entire pile already. But I can see the way you’re lusting after them. Come on. Open up. “

He cuts off a piece, lathers it in the syrup pooling on his plate, and holds it out towards her. Nothing sexual about it, just two friends sharing food. Absolutely nothing sensual about the way her lips wrap around the fork, they’re still tinted red from last night. Absolutely no dirty thoughts as the syrup drips down her chin. Or when she uses her thumb to wipe it away then licks the sticky liquid off of her fingers. All innocent. All —

“ Have you ever seen 9 ½ weeks? “ she asks him, looking up at him through her thick lashes.

“ No. What’s it about? “

“ Um — “ she starts then laughs to herself as if she’s sharing a funny inside joke with herself “ nevermind. “

“ Noooo, you can’t just start something and then not give me an explanation” he declares as the two of them get up and put the dishes into the dishwasher.

“ You know, Grumpy. There are a few things you better figure out on your own, trust me.”

“ Now you’re just being mean. “

“ No, I’m not I — “ her eyes grow wide as the song changes again and a big bright smile overtakes her entire face. Messy hair, makeup smudged, a smile on her face. God, he wishes they could stay in this little bubble forever. Hurt doesn’t exist here. Only them. Only happy things.

“ I forgot Dirty Dancing.”

“ What? “

“ You don’t know Dirty Dancing. “

“ I know plenty of dancing, thank you very much.”

“ No, Bucky. It’s a movie. It’s one of the most famous romantic movies and I forgot about it. I made a list of all the movies I wanna watch with you but didn’t think of Dirty fucking dancing. Sorry for swearing.”

“ You made a list? “

“ Yes, Grumpy. I made a list because I take this very seriously and I intend to make you watch them all with me because — because it’s fun and I like spending time with you. “

People, Bucky thinks, often take the smallest things for granted. The smallest things that make the most impact. That you will remember forever and cherish with all your heart. Like this one. People also don’t tell each other enough how much their friendships actually mean to them. People should. It feels wonderful.

“ I like spending time with you too.”

She grants him another sunshine smile before grabbing his hands and dancing along to the song. It’s faster than their late-night sway on the balcony, way less coordinated and there’s more jumping on her part and more shaking of — pretty much every body part.

This is so her. Chaotic and a little messy but so unapologetic. So fun. So happy.

“ Because IIIIII've haaaaaad the time of myyyyyy lifeeeee. No I neeeeeever felt this way before. Yes I swear it's the truuuuuuuuth. And I ooooowe it all to youuuuuu.”

“ That’s a catchy song,” Bucky says as a smile finds a way onto his lips. Sometimes it feels nice to surround yourself with people who make you smile. It’s one of the little pleasures in life one should allow themself to indulge in.

Bucky wishes he could bottle up this moment and never let go of it. Keep it for himself forever. That’s the thing about losing your memories, it makes you realize how precious every moment is and it makes you want to hold on tightly to each and every one as they happen.

“Right? I can guarantee you’ll be humming this song all day.”

(Y/N) twirls herself under his arm, away from him, then back before her eyes fall onto his glove-covered hands.

“ You don’t have to wear them for me, you know that, right? “

Sometimes he doesn’t even remember he’S wearing them, it’s become such a regular thing to him now. They are a part of him like the arm itself. They’re a shield really. From looks and judgment. And maybe, if he’s being entirely true to himself, they’re also to keep his eyes from focusing too much on the shiny silver of his hand. Of the fact that he will never be whole again. That he will never be able to feel a loving touch there ever again.

“ I know. It’s not you I’m worried about. “

“ Is it you? “

Bucky scrunches his nose up in discomfort. Talking about feelings wasn’t really a thing back when he was younger, especially for men. Sure there had been late-night talks with Steve about god and the world. About their hopes and fears and about the future. But those were few and far between and really opening himself up was never one of Bucky’s strong points. Talking about your feelings makes you vulnerable and being vulnerable was the last thing Bucky was ever allowed to be back then.

But as he said before, maybe it’s time to give up on antiquated ways.

So he nods “ Yeah. It’s — I still have a complicated relationship with the arm. I know it’s part of me and I’m glad it was given to me but it’s a huge reminder of all that I’ve lost and of a version of me that I can never go back to. A man I can never be again.”

“ Bucky,” (Y/N) starts and takes his face in between her hands. It’s a touch so soft, he can’t remember ever being handled this gently. Like a baby bird. Like a piece of porcelain. Like a treasure too precious to break. “I will never be able to fully understand how you’re feeling and I know that some of those things you have to go through alone and do the work yourself. But let me tell you something. Whoever you used to be might be gone but there’s a long-ass future waiting and it lets you be whoever you want to be. Maybe it’s time to let go of the man you were and start being the man you are because that one’s pretty great. And your arm is as much a part of that greatness as your smile or your constant grumpy mood. It’s what makes you you and you are really cool, honestly. “

His heart beats faster and stops entirely all at the same time. When he was younger he used to relish in the compliments thrown his way. He gracefully accepted them all with a knowing smirk playing on his lips. Nowadays it’s hard to believe them. Hell, it was so hard to have faith in Steve’s words. To believe that he was really worth all the effort and trouble Steve and the others went through, for him of all people. It’s so hard believing you are worth something when all you can see are your wrongdoings and shortcomings.

He wants to believe her words though. If only for a moment. If only for right now, safe and sound in their little bubble as the sun filters through the windows and the tastes of syrup still lingers in his tongue.

A few days later...

“They’re screening Dirty Dancing at the cinema around the block from me! Starts at 8pm. Come meet me, I won’t take no for an answer! xx “

He reads the message and tries to remember the way he felt that morning a few days ago when they danced around her kitchen. When she told him he was worth something. When she made him believe he wasn’t the actual worst person walking this earth. A disgrace. A mistake. A killer.

But every time he tries to go back to the bubble, a different pair of eyes show up in his mind. Eyes filled with sadness, with unimaginable suffering, with grief. All of which he put there.

He ran into Yori last night on his way home. The old man looked more fail than usual, sadder, more tired. Bucky found out why a few minutes later when he asked Yori about the cake in his grocery bag. The one with the white and green frosting.

“ It would be my son’s birthday today. I know he’s not here anymore but he was crazy about these cakes ever since he was a kid. Felt like remembering him. Would you like to join me for a piece? “

Bucky made up some half-assed excuse why he couldn’t, rushed to his apartment, and had a full-on breakdown. The kind that you don’t realize is happening until you’re all the way in the center of the hurricane.

There are shards of glass on his floor from when he threw a bottle against the wall. It’s a shame when you can’t even drown your sorrows in alcohol. His cheeks, he’s sure, are stained with tears that he had kept inside for so long.

How could he ever spend another second with (Y/N) when this is the kind of person he is. Brainwashing or not. The blood of Yori’s son is on his hands. Yori’s pain is his doing. All this grief and this hurt. It’s his fault and his alone. And Yori is just one of so many.

(Y/N) deserves a friend that doesn’t have a body count. Someone who doesn’t know what it feels when someone loses their life at his hands. Someone who doesn’t go to sleep seeing the eyes of those he’s killed. Someone who isn’t him.

His phone rings and he expects it to be (Y/N). She’s one of those people that text you then immediately call you right after. She likes to talk. In-person or over the phone. He doesn’t know if he wants to answer. Doesn’t know what to say. Would it be easier to just tell her not to contact him again? To rip off the bandaid quickly and then deal with the pain afterward?

Before he can come up with an answer to any of those questions, his eyes register the name on the caller display.

“ What?” he grumbles and leans his head against the wall.

“ Well, aren't you a happy chappy today. “

“ Sam, now’s not a good time. “

Sam hesitates for a moment then his voice sounds out from the speakers again.

“ Hey, Bucky. Are you okay? “

For a second, Bucky thinks about saying yes. He wants to keep on pretending the way he did so many times before. Wants to deal with this all by himself and not have anyone else get caught in his mess.

But he can’t. He’s tearing at the seams. He’s barely holding himself together, cracking open more and more with each passing second. So he takes a deep breath and tells the truth.

“ No. No, I’m not. “

30 minutes. No actually 34 minutes. He’s 34 minutes late. In fact, he hasn’t even answered her god damn text. He’s read it. Hasn’t answered though. And while that’s not entirely unlike Bucky, it still annoys her. Especially since when she tried to call him, the line was busy. So surely he’s on his phone. Is it too much to ask for a little reply?

If he doesn’t want to come, that's no big deal, (Y/N) tells herself, but a quick text would be the bare minimum he could give her.

Pout on her face and mood soured, (Y/N) enters the cinema and slumps down onto one of the plush red velvet seats. Not even in the mood for popcorn anymore, thanks Bucky.

There are hardly any people in there with her. Probably because by now almost every person on this planet has seen Dirty Dancing before and the weather is actually quite nice out tonight so most would rather enjoy the last rays of sun before winter will fall upon them than be stuck in a dark stuffy cinema watching a decade-old movie.

Not her though.

And if Bucky thinks she’s gonna miss out on watching this classic masterpiece because he can’t be bothered to show up, well he’s gravely mistaken. And yeah, maybe she’s being a bit dramatic, there might be a perfectly valid explanation for his no-show. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.

What happens if he actually goes on to date Leah? He’ll have less time for her that’s for sure. Movie dates won’t be happening then. Maybe it’s good she’s getting used to this now before she grows too close to him and breaks her own heart in the process of mending his.

She hates herself a little for those thoughts. Bucky deserves to be happy and if that means their friendship will be put on the backburner, then she should be okay with that, right? That’s what friends do, they want you happy no matter what it means for themself.

The Ronettes’ Be My Baby starts echoing through the room as the lights dim and (Y/N) sinks deeper into her seat, embracing the dark. The screen lights up with a black and white montage of people dancing and a swirly pink font spells out the actors' names. (Y/N) can’t wait to get lost in this picture-perfect version of real-life where things might seem bad but turn out right in the end. They always turn our right for these people. If only real life was this easy.

She’s so ready to just forget about all her troubles for the next 90 minutes.

And then a figure steps in front of the screen, nothing but a silhouette. A black shadow in front of the moving pictures. A shape she immediately recognizes.

“ Come on, dude. What the hell!” some guy in front of her yells out to Bucky, immediately following the words with a fistful of popcorn being thrown his way.

He’s here. He’s here and he’s obviously looking for her. She can’t make out his face but he’s shielding his eyes with his hands and letting his gaze wander over the crowd.

There’s a flutter in her stomach, one she knows oh too well. One she wants to bundle up and stuff to the very back of her being. A flutter that shouldn’t be there. That’s not what this is. Butterflies and goosebumps. This is eating spaghetti on the floor, dancing in the kitchen, and crying tears of laughter in IKEA. That’s what it is and what it should be. Right? But that doesn’t mean they can’t be affectionate. Right? That doesn’t mean they have to be cold and stoic and distant.

Right?

As (Y/N) reaches up her arms and waves, Bucky hurries down the platform and lets himself plop down in the seat next to her.

“ I’m sorry I was — “

“ It’s okay. You’re here now. “

That’s what matters. Being there. Just being there.

“ You deserve to have a friend, Bucky.” Sam said “ and she deserves to make her own decisions. If she decides you’re worth it, who are you to question that choice?”

Sam is right. Of course, he is. Despite how much Bucky hates to admit it, Sam is one of the smartest people he knows. Not in the way Tony or Bruce or Shuri are. Smart in a way that lets you know he gets you, he understands the chaos inside you, empathizes with it. He’s got this sense of incredible emotional awareness and a calm that exudes from him. Bucky will obviously never let him know this but talking to Sam feels more soothing and helpful than talking to his therapist.

He still doesn’t feel like he deserves her friendship, her affection, and her care. But really it would be foolish to think it’s his right to dictate who she can and can't care about.

Sitting beside her now, in the dark, with a movie playing on the big screen, makes things a bit easier. His thoughts aren’t so loud anymore and his heart, though still heavy, feels a little bit lighter. It’s easy to get lost in a story that’s not his and forget about the rest.

He almost forgets about his emotional turmoil by the time the two main characters dance around on a log, when he feels something against his left hand. First, it’s but a whisper of a touch, then more deliberate and then he feels the glove being slid off of his fingers. He doesn’t dare look over at her, eyes focused straight ahead. He doesn’t pull away though. There’s never been a touch quite so gentle against the cold vibranium metal. He doesn’t pull away, instead, he locks his fingers with hers and softly closes his fist.

If there’s moments worth holding onto, this is surely one of them.

“ I’m glad you came.” (Y/N) murmurs as she places her head against his shoulder. The one made of vibranium. The one that’s a part of him like his smile and his eyes and — his grumpy personality.

“ Yeah, me too.”

As Johnny and Baby give their all during the end of the season dance, Bucky can’t help but let himself relish in this moment.

There are two things on his mind.

One is the idea that maybe this is what friendship can be. Showing affection through soft touches and loving words. Maybe he doesn’t have to assign any deeper meaning to it. No matter how much it makes his heart beat faster or how the flutters in his stomach won't seem to settle down.

The other thing is the fact that this song is so damn catchy and while he hates himself a little for it, his feet tap along to the rhythm and he catches himself mouthing along to the lyrics.

And damn if it ain’t fitting because he has never felt this way before either.

Taglist // if you want to be added or taken off just message me :) //:

@zaynyierulez / @je-like-you / @dracoxxyoflam / @jackiehollanderr / @majo240820 / @kay-gilles / @booksb4looksstuff / @jckie94 / @charmed-asylum / @shawnie--jo / @yllwtaxi / @tailsoflightning / @giuliarogers / @mangoogirl / @gerim-1995 / @elen-alambil / @threeminutesoflife / @writeroutoftime / @buckybarn3s /

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky x f!reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x f!reader #winter solider x reader #buck barnes imagine #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fanfic #avengers imagine #avengers imagines #sebasian stan imagine #sebastian stan imagines #marvel imagine #marvel imagines #james barnes x reader #james barnes x f!reader

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nextonmy-tbr · 3 years

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Book Review: The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo

Author: Taylor Jenkins Reid

Genre: Historical fiction, Romance

When Monique is given a career changing opportunity to write biography of the very famous Evelyn Hugo, she was both surprised and delighted. But as she digs deep into her life there are some truth revealed that might not what Monique had ever imagined. So, what is the life of Hollywood Star Evelyn Hugo and how is Monique's life changed? Read the book to find out...

My thoughts: -

This book is charming, witty, and glamorous. It has every element that makes a book hit among the audience. And it is a big hit. I loved how complex the characters were especially Evelyn and how tragic and devastating the story was. All of this made the book a very interesting read. Oddly even though this book had everything, it felt underwhelming to me. It can be because it was made so perfect that it just felt too perfect to me (I hope it makes sense to y’all).

Plot: -

“Heartbreak is a loss. Divorce is a piece of paper.”

The plot is so thick with drama, you’ll just want to complete the whole book in one go. I liked how there was a transition in the story between Elevyn and Monique’s life. I also liked the concept of adding clippings of newspaper articles in between the story. It shows the audience of how the entire world had eyes on every movement of Evelyn, it gives a good effect to the book.

With the title of the book, I first thought that the Evelyn’s husbands will make a big part of the book, but as the plot continues you’ll quickly realise that it is not the truth. This story is about two women who are dealing with life while trying to make their dream come true. With Evelyn, you see her story divided in seven chapters according to her husbands, where we see her achieving her dreams, while her husbands just become the part and parcel of her life. With Monique, you’ll see how with every chapter she grows and decides to live a life on her own terms, to live a life freely. I enjoyed watching these characters grow.

Characters: -

“I’m bisexual. Don’t ignore the half of me so you can fit me into a box, Monique. Don’t do that.”

Evelyn Hugo is one of the best morally grey characters out there. Her drive and passion to be a successful actress, her love for her partner and friends and the way she stands up for herself makes her a very strong character. What I like about her is that she is unapologetically herself and makes no excuses for her actions, even the wrong ones. This is a very rare quality to find and that’s what makes her unique.

“I have to ask and be willing to be told no. I have to know my worth.”

I really wished we could have had more of Monique in the book. With high drama revolving around Evelyn, you will see quite less of Monique throughout the whole book. Despite of less appearance, she makes a good character to read. She is strong, knows what she wants and learns during this book to get what she wants. In this book, you will see her find her self worth and also herself.

Talking about other characters, I absolutely loved Harry, he is such a gem of a person. No wonder Evelyn called him her best friend. Because throughout the story you can see he is literally the best and the kindest character in the books. Celia was also one of the really good, strong female characters. One thing that I disliked about her was that she was really whiny. That’s all I can say without giving spoilers.

So, to wrap this up, I would say that this book would definitely be a good collection in your TBR. Especially if you want to see the drama of having a LGBT affair in the 60’s.

#the seven husbands of evelyn hugo #evelyn hugo #monique grant #celia st james #harry cameron #taylor jenkins reid #book review #booklr

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drivingsideways · 3 years

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k-drama rec list

Prior to 2020 I’d maybe watched 2 k-dramas in my entire life, but this year I got sucked in, thanks to some great recs, and y’know, *gestures * everything.

I think I’d held off watching kdramas because my impression of them was limited to romances that I didn’t enjoy at all. But this was the year I discovered the equivalent of “gen fic” kdrama- dramas that had wonderful ensemble casts, strong story lines that weren’t entirely romance focused and also a variety in terms of themes and styles. A big plus was that I found so many of these dramas had women leading the writers’ room, and seeing the effect of that in the story telling. (Notable exceptions: a certain “star” writer who should please stop inflicting her badly written, formulaic crap on the world, yes Kim Eun-Sook, I mean you, and whoever wrote that trashfire Flower of Evil)

So here I am with my own rec list! Caveat- these are mostly not the dramas released in 2020, I’m still playing catch up! :)

Under the cut for length

My Mister/ My Ahjussi (2018, Written by Park Hae-Young, Directed by Kim Won-Seok, starring Lee Sun-kyun and Lee Ji-eun aka IU)

This was definitely my absolute favourite of the shows I watched this year across western/ asian media. It’s a story about the thread that binds us all and the ineffability of human connection. It’s also a story that deconstructs ideas of masculinity and honour and shame in a non-western context, but with an extremely compassionate touch. It’s a story that doesn’t shy away from showing the consequences of material and spiritual poverty; and how one can so easily feed into the other. It’s a love story that isn’t a romance, except that it’s a Romance. It’s about finding salvation in one another and in the kindness of strangers. It’s about choosing life, and picking yourself up off the floor to take that one last step and then the next and then the next. The one quibble I have with the series is that it could have been better paced, it does get extremely slow after the half way mark. But god, do they land the ending. Both Lee Sun-kyun and IU turn in absolutely heartbreaking performances, and fair warning, be prepared to go through an entire box of tissues watching this series.

Life (2018, written by Lee Soo-yeon and directed by Hong Jong-chan, starring Lee Dong-wook, Cho Seung-woo, Won Jin-ah, Lee Kyu-hyung, Yoo Jae-myung and Moon So-ri.)

Medical dramas are very much not my thing, and I wouldn’t have taken a chance on it except that @michyeosseo said I should, and she was right! It’s a medical drama in the sense that it’s set in a hospital, but rather than a “case-fic” format, this is actually a sharp commentary on the corporatization of health care, and the business of mixing, well, money and what should be a fundamental human right. Writer Lee Soo-yeon was coming off the global success of Stranger/Secret Forest S1 when this aired, so I understand that expectations were probably sky-high, and people were disappointed when this show didn’t give them the adrenaline rush that they wanted. On the other hand, I thought that this outing was really much more nuanced in terms of the politics and also how the ending doesn’t allow you the luxury of easy-fixes. This show has a great ensemble cast, and while it took me a while to get used to Lee Dong-wook’s woodenness (i ended up calling him mr.cadaver after watching this and was surprised to learn that he’s very popular?), in the end I was quite sold on his version of angry angst-bucket elder-sibling Dr.Ye Jin-woo. His best scenes were with Lee Kyu-hyung who turns in a lovely, achy performance as the paraplegic Dr. Ye Seon-woo who just wants to live a normal life. The love story between the two brothers is actually the emotional backbone of the story, and I think they landed that perfectly.

My one quibble with writer-nim is that she ended up writing in a forgettable and somewhat (for me at least) uncomfortable romance between the characters played by Won Jin-ah and Cho Seung-Woo. I think part of my uncomfortable-feeling was that I got the strong sense that the writer herself didn’t want to write this romance, it was as if she was being made to shoe-horn it in for Studio Reasons, and she basically grit her teeth and did the worst possible job of it. I do wish we could have absolutely had the OT3 of my dreams: Moon So-ri/Cho Seung-woo/Yoo Jae-myung like, c’mon TV gods MAKE IT HAPPEN, just...look at them!!!!

Anyway, that apart, I think this was a very engaging series, and by engaging, I also mean thirst-enabling, see below.

Stranger (aka Secret Forest or Forest of Secrets) S1 & 2 : (2017-, Written by Lee Soo-yeon, directed by

2017′s smash hit aired a much anticipated second season in 2020, and I managed to catch up just in time to watch that live, so that was thrilling :D . Writer Lee Soo-yeon mixes up thriller/office comedy/political commentary in an ambitious series. I think S1 is more “exciting” than S2 in terms of the mystery and pacing, but S2 is far more dense and interesting in terms of political commentary because it takes a long hard look at institutional corruption and in true writer-nim fashion doesn’t prescribe any easy solutions. Anyway, please enjoy public prosecutor Cho Seung-woo and police officer Bae Doona as partners/soulmates kicking ass and taking names in pursuit of Truth, Justice and just a goddamn peaceful meal, along with a stunningly competent ensemble cast. Also yes, Han Yeo Jin is a lesbian, sorry, I don’t make the rules.

Search: WWW (2019, Written by Kwon Do-Eun, directed by Jung Ji-hyun & Kwon Young-il, starring Im Soo-jung, Lee Da-hee, Jeon Hye-jin)

GOD. Where do I start? +1000 for writer Kwon Do-Eun saying “fuck the patriarchy” in the most grandiose way possible, i.e. absolutely refusing to acknowledge that it exists. Yes, this is that power fantasy, and it’s also a fun, slice-of-life tale about three women navigating their way through work, romance, national politics and everything in between. It’s true that I wasn’t entirely sold on the amount of time spent on the romance, and I really wish they’d actually had a textual wlw romance, though the subtext through the entire series is PRACTICALLY TEXT. But still, it maintains that veneer of plausible deniability and I think queer fans who are sick of that kind of treatment in media have a very valid grouse against the show. On the other hand, personally I felt that the queer-platonic vibe of the show is very wonderful and true to real life, and it was only reinforced by the ending. This is a show written by a woman for women (like me), and it shows.

Hyena (2020, Written by Kim Roo-Ri, directed by Jang Tae-yoo & Lee Chang Woo, starring Kim Hye-soo and Ju Ji-hoon )

Those of you who’ve been watching hit zombie epic Kingdom are probably familiar with Ju Ji-hoon’s brand of sexiness already. I had not watched Kingdom and got hit in the face by Mr.Sexy McSexyPants’ turn as a brash, privileged-by-birth, up and coming lawyer who gets completely runover by the smoking hot and incredibly dangerous fellow lawyer/competitor from the other side of the tracks in the person of Kim Hye-Soo. When I say they set the room on fire, I mean it, ok. Every single scene between these two is an actual bonfire of sexual attraction and emotional hand grenades, and they’re both absolutely riveting to watch. “Flower of Evil” wishes they had what this show has- an actual grown up romance as opposed to a thirteen year old twilight fan’s idea of an adult romance.

The “lawyer” shenanigans and the “cases” are hit or miss, and I think the occasional comedy fell flat for me. But that’s not why I mainlined like 6 episodes of this series overnight like a coke addict, and that’s not why you’re going to do it either. It’s so RARE, even in these enlightened days to find a female character like Jung Geum-ja: hard as nails, unapologetic about it, and not punished by the narrative for it. The best part for me is that she feels like a woman’s woman, not a man’s idea of what a Strong Female Character should be. Anyways, when I grow up I want to have what Kim Hye-soo has ok?

Other dramas that I watched this year, quickly rated:

The King: Eternal Monarch (3/10 and those 3 points are only for the combined goodness of second leads who deserved better- Jung Eun Chae, Woo Do Hwan and Kim Kyung Nam. Please head over to my AO3 and read my attempts to fix this garbage fire and rescue their characters from canon)

Flower of Evil (-10/100, dont @ me)

Tale of the Nine Tailed (5/10, I think it succeeds at what it set out to do, which is a light hearted, sweet fantasy-romance-melodrama, plus “second lead” Kim Beom will make you cry as the hot mess of a half human/ half fox spirit ALL TEARS character. I think if you’re into kdrama romances as a genre, this is probably a good bet?)

Signal (7/10, This was the first full kdrama I watched this year and would definitely recommend. It’s a police procedural with time travel shenanigans and has an engaging plot, good pacing, texture and compelling performances. My one disappointment with it was the way they wrote Kim Hye-soo’s character. As literally the only female character to survive in any way, she was given short shrift, and toward the end it really began to grate on me.)

Six Flying Dragons - (7/10, also would recommend if you’re interested in Korean historicals. It definitely already feels a bit dated in terms of styling and production values, and even scripting and acting choices. But it has a good balance of fantasy and history and political commentary. I was not a fan of Yoo In-Ah’s performance in this series, but it’s not anything that would make you want to nope out of the series. It’s GoT , if GoT was thoughtful about politics and characters and not the misogynist, racist trashfire that it became.)

My Country: The New Age - (3.5/10, and that’s 3 points to Jang Hyuk’s fan and 0.5.points to Woo Do Hwan’s heaving bosom. If you like your historical drama/fantasy with very pretty men, very gay subtext -seriously RIP to show makers who thought they could hetero it but didn’t account for Woo Do Hwan’s Tragic Face- lots of blood and tears and very nonsense plot, this is right up your alley. I probably would have enjoyed it more in other circumstances, I think? But this one just annoyed me too much at the time!

I have a couple of more dramas to watch on my list, that’ll probably carry me over into 2021, so see ya on the other side! :D

#k-drama #kdrama rec list #2020: A YEAR #i'm a queue for you

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girlsgonemildblog · 3 years

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Is It Too Late to Apply? - The Bachelor Season 25, Week 1 Recap

All images from abc.com

I am a feminist and hate how society continually pits women against each other to compete for men. But two hours a week, for 8-10 weeks a year, I put all of that aside because I LOVE The Bachelor. Give me all the chaos, the drama, the make-outs, the heartbreaks, and the ridiculously sparkly dresses you have. I will watch every second of it and live-tweet the whole thing without an ounce of guilt.

I’m very excited about this new season because there have been almost no spoilers (maybe they should do every season in a bubble?). Just to clarify, I never seek out spoilers, but sometimes they show up on my twitter feed and accost me without my consent. I am promising now; if that does happen for this season, I will not include them in my recaps. Anyway, let’s begin.

It makes sense to start by introducing the bachelor, especially because he’s completely new to Bachelor Nation, Matt James.

Matt James is the first actually hot bachelor in a long time. Colton and Nick Viall were both cute, and Arie and Pete were fine, but Matt James is literally gorgeous. He was supposed to be on Clare’s season until she called him out for using being on her season for clout. To clarify, the “clout” he was using was to get donations to the charity he runs, ABC Food Tours. And his clout did not come from being on her season as much as from being the best friend of the one and only Tyler Cameron. If you are new to Bachelor Nation, Tyler C, as he is (extremely) affectionately called, was the heartthrob of the second most recent season of The Bachelorette. He came in second that season but bounced back quickly by dating Gigi Hadid. Tyler did try to make it work with his bachelorette, Hannah Brown, during quarantine (Matt was also quarantining with them), but they broke up a few months ago.

Because Matt is new to Bachelor Nation, we really don’t know much about him. From the introduction package, we learned that he is mixed-race, and his parents separated when he was young. He also says he has never been in love before, which has made some audience members wary of his position as the bachelor.

His newness also means that he also doesn’t know a lot about the process, and watching him navigate through it with doe-eyed wonder makes him even more charming. We saw his nervousness when he asked Chris Harrison for a fireside chat before the girls started arriving. Chris gave some of his patented Chris-Harrison-advice about love, but they also had a very real conversation about race, which is not something usually seen on this show. Matt voiced his fears about what people will say if he picks a White girl or a Black girl, which was great because The Bachelor usually operates with a “we don’t see race” mindset, which is problematic for obvious reasons. The season of The Bachelorette that ended just two weeks ago featured a Black bachelorette getting engaged to a White contestant. I have not seen any commentary about this, but I’m sure it’s out there; I’m just lucky enough to follow good people.

This season had a record number of applications, and there were 32 contestants on the first night. It would be insane to go through every single one of them, mainly because I don’t remember all of them, so I am just going to discuss the five that stood out to me.

Katie

Katie’s limo-entrance was the cold open of the show, as she introduced herself to Matt James while holding her vibrator. To call this a bold move may be the biggest understatement of all time. I am all for female empowerment and being open about female sexuality, but this was a lot. Especially when she clarified that it had been cleaned, meaning it was not brand new as I had assumed. I don’t care how much she scrubbed it; that’s gross. Also, as another girl was talking to Matt about how the hurricanes had affected her family in Puerto Rico, Katie came up and interrupted her by tapping the girl on the shoulder with the dildo. Whatever the conversation was, that was a weird move. During that specific conversation, it’s rude. If you’re going to do something like that, you have to hold back a second and figure out what the conversation’s vibe is before you interrupt. Still, I like Katie. I think she’s cute and funny. She could go far in this show, as long as she does not rely on the dildo-bit too much.

Khaylah

Nothing about Khaylah blew me away, but she made her entrance in her truck and made that connection to Matt of both being from North Carolina. During the cocktail party, the two of them sat in the bed of the truck under the stars in an adorable moment. In a sea of 32 girls, I was able to remember her (though I did have to look up her name), which I think is a good sign for her with Matt.

Abigail

Abigail and Matt had a great conversation about her being hard of hearing and how it’s difficult for her to talk about when starting a new relationship. Matt, who had stressed his own difficulty with being vulnerable, appreciated her openness. Abigail got the first real kiss of the season, as well as the coveted first impression rose. This rose can be a great sign, as the receiver usually goes far in the competition, and three bachelorettes in a row ended up getting engaged to the person who got this rose. That being said, just last season, Tayshia’s first-impression-rose, Spencer, immediately faded to the background before being cut two weeks later. Still, I am going to keep my eye on her.

Kit

Kit is already a polarizing figure. She’s 21 years old, a self-proclaimed socialite, and the daughter of famous fashion designer Cynthia Rowley. She watched the premiere on Monday with Charlotte Lawrence and Kaia Gerber. For these reasons, plus her saying in a confessional that she loves being the center of attention, people are calling her spoiled, too young, and “not there for the right reasons” (a favorite phrase of Bachelor Nation). I like Kit, though. I think she is unapologetically herself, and I have to admire that. In addition, I think The Bachelor has gotten so big that we have to assume almost every contestant goes on with the thought that maybe they get engaged, but at the very least they’ll get a revolve sponsorship. It’s also clear that she is not going to be the season’s villain, at least not at first.

Victoria

That title is going to go to no other than “Queen” Victoria. Yes, for her career, Victoria listed herself as a queen. She made poor interns carry her in, wore a tiara, and gave Matt a crown so he could be her king. During the cocktail party, she got way too drunk and tried to pressure a girl to talk to Matt by saying “literally” too many times. She also spoke to him three times, while others talked to him zero. This isn’t uncommon on the first night, but it’s still looked down on. Also, she interrupted Kit’s time by saying, “excuse me, princess, the queen is here,” igniting a feud that will be entertaining as all hell to watch. She also got the final rose of the night, signaling to the viewer that the producers made Matt keep her on for the drama. My prediction is all the girls hate her, and she fuels drama for the beginning, but ultimately gets sent home week 3 or 4, so that actual relationship drama can begin. After that, we’ll see her for sure in Paradise.

Matt sent home eight girls, Alicia, Emani, Saneh, Amber, Corrinne, Carolyn, Cassandra, and Kimberly. Alicia was a professional ballerina, which is pretty impressive, and Cassandra’s sister made a funny TikTok about her getting sent home.

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saijspellhart · 4 years

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Things I binged recently:

(Still coping with grief and depression, and one of the ways I tend to do that is just to distract myself from it all with Netflix. Here are some things I watched or tried watching. And my thoughts on them.)

The Office: Hated this show. Which was a shame because I really really enjoyed Parks and Rec, and these shows are supposed to be similar in style. Unfortunately this show is cynical, mean, and pessimistic. Characters get away with being outright racist, sexist, and antagonistic. Are unapologetic about their hurtful actions, and it sickens me. I was told season one was bad, and to watch season two, and I did. And even season two was awful. And I shouldn’t have to slog through three seasons of a show before it gets to a point where it’s like-able and good. If it takes you three seasons to figure it out, then no thanks. That’s a lot of show I have to suffer through before I MIGHT get to something I enjoy. I loved Parks and Rec because the characters loved and cared about each other, had genuine friendships, aspirations, and optimism. They strived to better the world around them, despite many mishaps and obstacles along the way. Parks and Rec was uplifting and sincere, where The Office is cynical and mean. 1/10.

A Whisker Away: Good, although I found the romance between the main character and her crush to be insincere and weak. I think the message of love would have been stronger if the best friend ended up being the one going to rescue her in the end. It never felt like the boy actually had feelings for her, just a begrudging respect and budding friendship. And it felt like his feelings were guilted and coerced by her actions to run away in the end. Like, “shit, I messed up and she ran away from home. Better tell her I love her, so she comes back home.” I understand that wasn’t what they were trying to do in this film, but it’s how the relationship came across. Manipulative. Especially since most of it was one sided, with her spying on his life as a cat. The love someone has for a pet does not equate romantic affection. Excellent movie for the heavy themes, Magic, and story, just think the overall message and relationships should have been overhauled, and worked around. I think the love the main character’s best friend had for her was more pure and powerful that the one-sided obsessive crush she had on the boy. 6/10.

Brand New Animal: Great show. Both my husband and I loved it. And were gushing about it even after we finished it. My only critique is all the heavy handed exposition. It felt clunky, ham-handed, and unnatural. I think with a few more episodes to the show they might have been able to parse out that exposition and find more natural ways to feed the audience that information, rather than huge unsolicited info dumps on the Main Character. Especially since half the time she didn’t earn that info, didn’t need it, didn’t ask, and just plain shouldn’t have been told some of it. Like why would you just spit classified secret information out to a character you know can’t keep secrets, or even follow directions?? Aside from that, solid characters, solid friendships, cute story, lots of interesting events, and just a blast from start to finish. Would highly recommend it to anyone. If you like Zootopia or Beastars, you’ll probably enjoy this too. 8/10.

Japan Sinks 2020: I. LOVED. THIS. SHOW. Omg, it had me on the edge of my seat the entire time. I just couldn’t stop watching. It’s in the disaster movie genre. Like Volcano, Dante’s Peak, or The Day After Tomorrow. That “what if this catastrophic natural disaster occurred,” and you follow this group of survivors as they work together to stay alive. And damnit if I wasn’t emotionally invested in every single one of them. I wanted to see them survive, and see how they made it through. I wasn’t sure if I was gonna be able to connect as strongly with their struggle given that it was animated rather than live action. But that didn’t matter at all. The tone is serious, and everything is given the weight and consideration it deserves. The animation style has a realistic tone to it, and the fact that it was an anime never got in the way of the journey and the emotions and the intensity for a second. I felt ALL of it. 10/10.

Unsolved Mysteries Netflix (documentary): I’m a slut for documentaries, all kinds of documentaries. So it’s no surprise I watched this. If you like unsatisfying true stories then this is it. A whole season of unsolved crimes. You get all the information wrapped up and handed to you in a neat little interesting package, and are left to just gnaw on it wondering who did it, and if they’ll ever solve it. One of the episodes isn’t a crime though, it’s a UFO story, which was a weird change of pace and tone from the rest of the season. Still creepy, but in a different way. I liked it, but it can be frustrating when you want answers. It gets an 7/10 because I wanted answers.

Kipo and the Age of the Wonderbeasts: I could watch this show over and over again. My husband and I were foaming at the mouth waiting for season 2, and when it finally released, we gobbled it up and then watched it again right after. Excellent show. Post-Apocalyptic story, where the surface of the earth is overrun with mutant animals, and humans are living underground in “burrows.” The main character Kipo gets separated from her people and stranded on the surface, and has to find a way home. Along the way she makes some human friends, and mutant friends, and connects with people through music. And even learns some deep dark secrets about her Mom and Dad, and even herself. It’s a beautiful story emotionally, but also an exciting adventure. I love it. 10/10.

Eurovision, the Story of Fire Saga: Good. Which is saying something because I’m not a fan of Will Ferrell and he plays one of the main characters in this movie. I enjoyed the movie, and it made me laugh. Which was another surprise because I’m a cold-hearted bitch when it comes to comedy, and most things don’t make me laugh. So when a comedy works for me it’s a surprise. And this comedy worked in places. Not ALL places, but it did get some chuckles and a laugh or two. And I did enjoy the story it told. The movie is about two friends who are musicians/singers that enter singing/performance contest, and the drama that ensues along the way. It’s a cute underdog story. 6/10.

Floor is Lava (game show): The name of the game says it all. Groups of three contestants must navigate rooms using only furniture, and chandeliers, and shit. They can’t touch the floor because the room is flooded with hot orange koolaid. And if they fall in they “die.” Prepare to watch grown ass adults hop, hobble, and flop over furniture, tables, and other obstacles, as they try to get from one side of a room to the other side without falling into the koolaid. It’s exciting, and fun, and although the commentary is awful, the struggle of the contestants more than makes up for it. 8/10.

Splice: Never seen this movie before. Thought I’d give it a try since it just showed up on Netflix. It’s... odd. I’m having a hard time deciding if I loved or hated it. It’s an interesting look into what could happen should we start experimenting with human DNA and other sentient life. And how that could go all kinds of wrong very quickly. I like horror, and this delivered on some of the horror elements, but mostly it just jabs you over and over again with moral dilemmas. And you end up feeling like all the characters in the movie majorly failed each other, and they were all the bad guys. I’ll give it a 5/10 because I’m conflicted whether I liked it or not. But it was worth seeing once.

Ju-on Origins: I’ve seen a couple of the Grudge movies, which is the Americanized version of this horror franchise. But I’ve never seen any of the Ju-on movies. So it was a new experience watching this. It’s non-linear storytelling can be challenging to follow, but the stories it’s telling are fascinating and unnerving. I had to watch it with the shitty English dub because my attention span is too short for subtitles. And this wasn’t just a single movie, it’s a show with an entire first season. Episode 4 was definitely where shit hit the fan, and things got really scary. But I like slow burn horror, so I enjoyed the build up of the previous three episodes, and how they just carefully built on the apprehension and dread until things really got scary in the fourth episode. After that the rest of the show is just a roller coaster of highs and lulls, that leave you wondering where the series is gonna go in season 2. Definitely my favorite installment in the Grudge/Ju-on franchise that I’ve seen so far. And it’s got me curious to check out the other Ju-on movies. 8/10.

The Girl with all the Gifts: I’m a sucker for zombie movies and this was a unique and refreshing take on them. The idea is that the zombie outbreak is caused by a strain of the Cordyceps fungus that ends up infecting humans. And the surviving humans are using children born from infected mothers to try and find a cure for the outbreak. The children are like this functioning hybrid of fungus and human, and not completely lost like the humans who were directly infected. The movie explores the moral dilemma of how the children are treated, and the further of humans. I enjoyed the movie, and the concepts. It was a great addition to the zombie franchise. Would recommend. 7/10.

Abducted in Plain Sight (documentary): another crime documentary. This one dealt with a kidnapper/pedophile who managed to kidnap the same girl twice, and the lasting trauma his actions had on that girl. It was sad, and heartbreaking, and horrifying. If you like crime documentaries and have a steely stomach, check this one out. I won’t give it a rating because it deals with real life stuff and children and it’s not a show.

Evil Genius (documentary): one last documentary on this list. I was on a crime documentary spree. Usually I like animal documentaries. This one was about a couple who masterminded a bank heist by attaching a collar bomb to a man and sending him on a wild goose chase scavenger hunt. There’s also a case about a corpse in a freezer, and how the two cases are connected. It’s absolutely bonkers. Just wow. It’s four episodes long, a mini-series, but just an interesting experience. I mostly watched/listened to this while slowly chipping away at a commission. If you like crime documentaries it’s worth a watch. I give this one a 6/10 because I won’t be watching it a second time, but also because I think the format and how they explained everything was kinda long winded.

#movie recommendation #movie recs #show recommendations #show recs #netflix #netflic recs #netflix recommendations #saijspellhart recommends #reviews #rates #movies #shows

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mondfahrt · 4 years

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Nobody asked for this but this is what tumblr is for, right? So here, some queer Die Wilden Hühner headcanons. Anyone can add to this, I really want to know all your queer headcanons! ( @theuncannybalth )

Sprotte: asexual, mostly into Fred but had a crush on Frieda once because lbh who didn‘t? Is extremely confused by basically every display of sexuality because there are really so many more interesting things in this world? On the other hand... that thing Fred‘s hair does right out of the shower? Makes her go all warm inside. Still, sex is... uninteresting, she just wants to live on a farm with her chickens and dogs and horses and friends. (And I don‘t know why but I really want the Klugscheißer to be her ally? Like, of course her mom is supportive but Oma Slättberg isn‘t and after one particularly bad day he goes to her and tells her off. He may not understand Sprotte all the time but he will support her.)

Frieda: pansexual queen, so laid back concerning her sexuality that she doesn‘t even realize that she‘s queer for the longest time. Also, she‘s basically the definition of an activist and spends all her life fighting for equality. Kindness is her biggest turn-on but queer confidence makes her Look. She wears a „free hugs“ shirt to Pride alongside her political banners, organizes protests, screams at Torte a lot for being sexist and terrible. Helps everyone but especially Wilma, Melanie and Trude overcome heartbreak. The Mom friend. Tends to push aside her own needs but will probably one day find a cute, really butch person who shares her enthusiasm and gets into heated debates with her that end in sex on the kitchen counter.

Trude: token straight girl but honestly the best ally and gets involved in body positivity. Once, Wilma and Frieda make her participate in a drag show for charity which helps her confidence a lot. She‘s still very self-conscious but will forget all about that when her friends are targeted by bigots. I can also totally see her as being very into history and going to protests with Frieda even when the others don‘t want to/don‘t have the time. (She definitely had a crush on Melanie once, though.)

Melanie: listen, she‘s my fave and I‘m projecting a lot here, but she‘s extremely bi and has a lot of internalized homo- and biphobia. Willi is probably the one she falls for the hardest (because OTP) but after they break up, after all that disaster in Book 5, they become Best Bi Friends, more than once crushing on the same person and maybe making out a bit when they‘re both lonely. I‘m not saying she realizes she‘s bi when falling for Wilma but... I‘m not not saying that either. Either way, some years into their twenties, that happens and Willi is the only one not surprised because he knew she had a crush on her for years even when Melli herself didn’t want to realize that.

Wilma: biggest lesbian on this planet, pines for Melanie most of her life, it‘s pretty pathetic to watch, especially after Melli‘s coming out when she‘s still making excuses like „well, okay, but she would never fall for me, even if she‘s into girls“. Theater gay, obviously, but also really into homoerotic readings of all the classic literature. Does not have time for heterosexual drama and will write stern letters to local theater productions why they didn‘t make that scene as gay as Shakespeare clearly intended it to be!

Fred: non-binary, they/them pronouns, Sprotte-sexual but would call themselves gay any day just to see the look of confusion in someone‘s (aka Torte‘s) face. They are extremely into skirts as soon as they get to wear one one day, and are completely shameless about it. Honestly, I can‘t see Fred being ashamed over anything.

Willi: bisexual, gets super flustered around pretty people in general but unapologetic guys in particular. Probably had a crush on Fred once but that ended at about the same time he witnesses Fred shove a marble up their nose (they were 14, it was a contest with Torte). He will probably always love Melanie a bit but is quite happy to transfer those feelings into a really close friendship. They overcome their internalized homophobia together and she teases him relentlessly about blushing any time a cute person smiles at him.

Torte: Token straight guy but also... not the best ally. Like, he and Trude have words about this more than once. He just doesn‘t get it. But he tries? Kind of? He hero-worships Fred and Willi so much that he tries to imitate them a lot during their teens, even tries to think about being gay or bi or non-binary or whatever - and is extremely frustrated because he just doesn’t feel that way. Girls are so pretty! (Frieda, sighing: „yes, they are.“ - Torte: „😨😨😨👀👀👀“) He misgenders a lot which leads to a lot of fights in the group and they almost fall out. This is where Trude steps in. He gets better at it but it‘s never the same anymore and it takes years and a lot of work on his part to mend those relationships.

Steve: trans woman, she/her pronouns, I‘ve written fanfiction about this, okay? She lets Melanie put make-up on her once, for her psychic/tarot reading seer persona - and is flashed by how much she likes it. Thus begins her path to discovering her gender. She likes her name and doesn’t change that but she does wear dresses almost exclusively and her seer persona suddenly is not really a character anymore. Her coming out is kind of awesome (first Wilma and the Hühner, who are extremely supportive) and messy. The Pygmäen are... supportive but confused, especially Torte and Willi who have their own stuff to deal with. Fred puts an end to it because they are the boss.

#die wilden hühner #idek #i think a lot about this

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letterboxd · 4 years

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Grand Gestures.

Casually breaking new ground for the rom-com genre, writer-director Natalie Krinsky tells Dominic Corry about creating her quietly revolutionary new film The Broken Hearts Gallery—while leading man Dacre Montgomery reveals his Letterboxd habits.

“Good, bad, ugly. The whole lot. I love reading the bad reviews. I’m all about it.” —Dacre Montgomery

An antidote to 2020 malaise if ever there was one, the upbeat, emotionally frank and unapologetically sentimental new big-screen romantic comedy The Broken Hearts Gallery is here to lift your spirits and mend your broken heart.

Blockers and Bad Education star Geraldine Viswanathan leads the film as Lucy, a New York art gallery assistant prone to hoarding physical memorabilia from past relationships. After being dumped and fired in quick succession, Lucy meet-cutes Nick (Stranger Things break-out Dacre Montgomery), an aspiring hotelier with a large empty space on his hands, in which Lucy decides to stage the titular pop-up exhibition, filled with objects representing lost loves.

Proving there are still plenty of new places to go in the well-worn rom-com genre, Krinsky’s film is generating passionate responses on Letterboxd, where fans are celebrating its contemporary sensibility. “Refreshingly modern,” writes Anne. “Diversity is easily achieved and there’s really no heteronormativity. People are just people, love is just love, and that’s what wins me over.”

“Definitely a very 2020 film,” writes Jovi. “It couldn’t have been written in the same way even ten years ago. It captures being in your twenties in the modern day perfectly.” “Bloody loved the female empowerment and the unconventional narrative and characters,” enthuses Meg.

Geraldine Viswanathan and Dacre Montgomery in ‘The Broken Hearts Gallery’.

Reading through the reviews, the most common reaction is praise for how unapologetically inclusive the film is, in a way that feels appallingly novel for a mainstream film. As Krinsky explains it, “I wanted to make a film that was reflective of the world that I see around me and the world that these characters would inhabit if they lived amongst us mortals.” Or, as Montgomery casually states, “I think it’s where we’re at in 2020 with casting and stuff.” The ease with which the film does this indicts most of modern cinema for its lack of representation.

Krinsky’s inclusive casting and characterization decisions stretch across the entire cast, encompassing that essential feature of modern rom-coms: the quirky ‘best friend’. As well as lending authenticity and personality to the leading characters’ lives, the bestie is often where the ‘com’ in rom-com comes in. The Broken Hearts Gallery has an abundance of quirksters, from Lucy’s roommates (who include Hamilton’s Phillipa Soo as saucy, serial heartbreaker Nadine) to Nick’s straight-talking BFF Marcos (a very funny Arturo Castro).

But the chemistry between the central couple is everything in romantic comedies, and The Broken Hearts Gallery benefits greatly from its fresh-faced, emerging-star leads, both of whom are Australian. “We had a rapport with each other much faster maybe than usual,” Montgomery says of his and Viswanathan’s shared background. “I haven't worked with an Australian actor or actress overseas so that was really nice. She’s a wildly talented, comedic actress. It was my first foray into this sort of genre. I was sort of shit-scared and she’s really held my hand through it.”

Geraldine Viswanathan and director Natalie Krinsky.

Krinksy, likewise, was blown away by Viswanathan’s talents, having seen her work in Blockers and Hala. “She does this great physical comedy in Blockers, and then in Hala, she plays this really vulnerable, dramatic teenage role. I was so taken by her ability to pull both of those completely different parts off. I just immediately had this feeling, which I hadn’t ever had before, of: ‘this is Lucy’. She’s got this comedic timing that is very much like Lucille Ball, it’s got this effervescence to it. She’s able to do so much without saying a word. And then she opens her mouth and it’s a gift.”

It’s no small thing for Viswanathan to have been cast as Lucy. Many an actor’s career has been made by a leading role in a romantic comedy, and—current industry upheaval notwithstanding—Viswanathan looks set to break out even further with her performance here. Montgomery’s and Krinsky’s enthusiasm for her work echoes a central theme in The Broken Hearts Gallery: when Montgomery first met with writer-director Krinsky about the film, she told him the story was somewhat inspired by the idea of seeing men support women in their careers, as Nick does with Lucy. “That was a big thing for me,” he explains, “because I have a lot of really strong women in my life that have supported me—my partner, my mum, my grandmother, so on and so forth.”

Those who know Montgomery from Stranger Things will be interested to learn why he pivoted to romantic comedy. He tells us he was looking for something diametrically opposed to his break-out performance in that show. “As a viewer, I love comedy. As an actor, can’t think of anything scarier. I function in this realm of ‘plan, prepare, do everything the way I know’. The great thing about this was it was ever-evolving. It really did force me to come out of my comfort zone.” (Montgomery will pivot again for his next role, which he says is “kind of a dream role. I can’t speak about it now… Again, it’s 180 degrees in the other direction, so it is a wild ride.”)

Krinsky is also switching things up, career-wise. The Broken Hearts Gallery is her first feature film, after cutting her teeth in television writers’ rooms (Gossip Girl, Grey’s Anatomy, 90210). She credits that environment for training her to fix storytelling problems on the fly. A story a decade in the making, Broken Hearts came from her own romantic aspirations and fears. “I had had many conversations like [the one Lucy has early in the film with Max (Utkarsh Ambudkar), where he dumps her after telling her she’s ‘a blast’]. So that certainly came from my life. I’d been fired from my job. I was moving apartments and I was going through the detritus of these past relationships and kind of trying to figure out what I was going to keep and what I was going to hold on to. You kind of pepper in those things [that are] reflective of relationships in your twenties.”

‘The Broken Hearts Gallery’ director Natalie Krinsky.

Going into the film, Krinsky was very conscious of trying to set it apart from rom-coms that have come before. “Making a good romantic comedy is actually quite difficult because it’s so well-trodden, and because there are beats that we want. We want to cheer for two people falling in love. Because of that, my philosophy going into this was very much centered around Lucy. We’ve seen a lot of romantic comedies in the past where we see a woman trying to fit herself into a mold in order to be with someone and ultimately realizing, ‘Oh, that mold isn’t who I am’. Lucy is a character who certainly has her foibles and has her anxieties and has her eccentricities, but she consistently asks the world to love her because she is weird, not despite the fact that she is weird. That messaging was really important to me.”

In another case of the film gently nudging the rom-com genre forward, it acknowledges how ridiculous grand romantic gestures can be, but still manages to include a few. Krinsky believes there is room for grand gestures in real life. “I certainly hope so. I would like a grand gesture every once in a while—wouldn’t we all? We deserve it. I’m a little bit hopelessly romantic in that way. And I will say I like the surprise. To be able to just, show up home and say, ‘I was walking around today and I saw this cactus. And I thought of you. And here it is.’ Maybe that’s not so grand, but it’s the gesture at least.”

We note that another unique aspect of The Broken Hearts Gallery is the feeling that it doesn’t seem like it’s going to live or die on whether or not the two main characters end up together. “I think they both needed to confront a little bit of who they were,” Krinksy agrees. “Which I always think is the truth about really falling in love, is that in order to have a good relationship, you need to have a good one with yourself first.”

Clearly a huge fan of the genre, we ask Krinsky to recommend her favorites from the canon. “I love some of our recent classics. When Harry Met Sally is a perfect romantic comedy. Bridget Jones’s Diary is a perfect romantic comedy. I love Clueless—even though it’s more com than rom. And then I really love some of the older ones. Broadcast News is one of my all time favorites. Going back even further two of my go-tos that hold up today are His Girl Friday and It Happened One Night. Those two, especially if you’re talking about the ‘strong female lead’, they held them in spades and that fast quippy dialogue I just really live for.”

Montgomery, meanwhile, turns out to be somewhat of a cinephile, something he cultivated as a teenager in the Australian suburbs. “I worked at McDonald’s and I spent all my money on going to [electronics and DVD store] JB Hi-Fi. That’s my childhood in a nutshell. Growing up, I was either at the cinema or in my room and spending all my money on DVDs. All my friends worked at video stores. That was kind of my jam.”

And then—mic drop—Montgomery casually shares the news that he has a secret Letterboxd account. Yes, dear reader, it appears that Dacre is a full-on ’boxd-head. “Oh yeah. I mean, that’s why I was so happy that this [interview] was coordinated. Other than obviously having a chance to talk to you just in general to chat about the platform, it’s a combination of a couple of things that I’m going to put quickly in a couple of words: obviously you can create watchlists on Disney+, Netflix and so on. But then you’ve got so many bloody platforms, all of your lists are in different spaces and all of your movies are spread out on different platforms.

“For me, the biggest role for [Letterboxd] is I can formulate everything in one place, on one platform and look at it. It’s just got so … much … stuff. If I’m up for a horror movie, but I want it set in the snow, I can log on there and it’s, like, The Thing, Hold The Dark. All these great movies. Which I love. And I can read reviews of them before or after.”

Montgomery’s partner is also on Letterboxd, as is his childhood best friend. “Every time we leave the cinema, he gets on Letterboxd and writes a review—his honest, immediate reaction to what he’s just seen. It’s the first thing he does. It’s a great outlet for him. He’s had filmmakers reach out to him, which is another lovely thing. I think a lot of the arts and creative community is actually active on that platform. My buddy just spent the $20 for the year thing and now he can see what his top actors are that he watches, what’s his most-watched decade. I love that sort of stuff. I’m such a cinephile, to be able to collate everything into one sort of succinct thing—that’s my dream.”

Naturally, we ask Montgomery to represent his home country and name-check some Aussie films and filmmakers. “Obviously I’m still quite young, but a lot of cinema like Felony, The Rover, Animal Kingdom, that whole sort of genre, like all the David Michôd films. That sort of realm, I loved growing up. Baz Luhrmann’s films, obviously. Don McAlpine, Australian cinematographer. Bruce Beresford. There’s such an amazing pedigree of actors as well, most recently, obviously the Edgertons [Joel and Nash], Ben Mendelsohn, Heath, obviously, and Naomi Watts and Nicole Kidman.”

Curious to learn more about why a bona-fide star would lurk on Letterboxd where his own performances are ranked, rated and reviewed, we ask Montgomery: what does he get out of it? “I don't have this in-built bias or expectation, even though you’d think I would to kind of go, ‘Why didn’t they like that?’ I love reading the bad reviews. I’m all about it. I’m just interested to see what they engaged with. I think that’s the great thing about Letterboxd as opposed to any other platform is that I can just kind of log in under my alias and read everyone’s uninhibited dialogue that’s come out just after they’ve seen the film. And I love that. Good, bad, ugly. The whole lot. I think it’s the coolest thing ever.”

So then, the final, obvious question: has he been reading the Broken Hearts reviews? “I love to look up the Broken Hearts Gallery page. I think people are just enjoying this level of escapism. If they had the ability to go to a drive-in or to the cinema, wherever they are, people are just kind of going ‘it was so nice to get out of my house and out of my head’. It’s what any cinema tries to do, that level of escapism. I think it couldn’t have come at a better time. Once it’s done its cinematic release, it’ll be on streamers and then people can have that level of escapism who weren’t able to go to the cinema, so that’s really nice.”

Prepare yourself for The Broken Hearts Gallery by checking out this extremely thorough Letterboxd list of romantic comedies, expand your romantic comedy horizons with this list of South Korean rom-coms, and get a feel for where Letterboxd members are at, rom-com-wise, with this romantic comedy showdown.

‘The Broken Hearts Gallery’ is in theaters where possible. Dacre Montgomery’s first book of poetry will be released in October. Comments have been edited for clarity and length.

#the broken hearts gallery #natalie krinsky #dacre montgomery #geraldine viswanathan #romantic comedy #romantic comedies #rom com #romcom #rom-com #letterboxd

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emmaheartswift · 4 years

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here are the top ten things i love about taylor!! obviously there are way more than just ten reasons why i love taylor, (there are actually probably more than 13,000), but here are ten that stand out to me!!

1. her generosity. she gives endless amounts of love and support to so many different people and organizations. whether it is handwritten letters, donations, or heartfelt advice, you can tell that taylor is being so incredibly sincere and genuine. she helps so many without needing anything in return, and that is so beautiful to me.

2. how relatable she is. whether i’m feeling heartbreak, love, loss, excited, alone, insecure, hopeful, or strong, i always know that she is something i can go to. her lyrics speak to me in a way no other artist can. the way she so clearly paints picture scenes is so remarkable and detailed. she has helped me get through everything i have ever felt, and made me feel heard and valid. i really don’t know where i would be without her music.

3. her trust & vulnerability. in this world, and being so in the public eye, it would be easy not to do as many meet & greets as she does. but concerns aside, taylor puts all her faith into us, her fans. she invites fans from all over the globe to her home to play her new albums for them before anyone else. she trusts them not to leak any information, and is so openly inviting to them. trust is a hard thing to develop, and taylor having that much in us warms my heart. on the vulnerable side of things, her albums are her personal diaries. she puts her stories and feelings out in the world, and that’s a terrifying thing to do. she shares her life with the world through music, and hopes that we will cherish it into our lives. we do that every time, and can feel her emotions through her words. taylor even shared with us her real life diaries, which is beautiful.

4. how inspiring she is. without taylor, i would not do the thing i love the most. i have been writing songs, singing, and playing instruments for more than ten years, and that is because of her. five year old me was so wonderstruck by her personal and detailed music that i wanted to try it too. now, i am able to turn any situation or feeling in my own life into music. she is the reason i know what i want to do with my life at just age fifteen, and i would give absolutely anything to thank taylor for introducing me to my passion.

5. her brilliant mind & theatrical ideas. every single performance, tour, and music video has such incredible visuals and thought involved. whether it’s castles, rain soaked streets, or a high school, i am constantly blow away by taylor’s ability to create such beautiful sets and scenes. her tours are not just a concert, they are a colorful experience of real life storybooks or glow in the dark rainstorms. she takes on the roles of different characters, stars in black and white movies, and even goes back in time to portray her past eras. taylor’s remarkable mind is one of the most admirable parts about her.

6. how down to earth she is. taylor bakes, writes in diaries, tells jokes, and takes pictures of her cats just like the rest of us. through her social media’s, she posts all sorts of home pictures of her selfies and friends. all that i’ve ever heard from those who have been lucky enough to meet her is that she has this understanding ability to feel like your best friend. she has her own insecurities, favorite movies, and fears that she shares with us, and makes us want to share ours too. i know that i would be able to look into her eyes and tell her absolutely anything. i’ve never even met her, and she already is and feels like my best friend.

7. how much she has grown over time. taylor has gone through more in her life so far than many will ever experience. but throughout every dark patch and violent storm she has experienced, taylor always comes out of it even stronger. i truly wish i could take away all of the pain and nightmares she has had to deal with, but i am so in awe of how she hasn’t let any of that stop her. she learns from every mistake, heartbreak, unfair event, and personal battle, reminding us all that we will get through our rough patches too. every single day i am so proud of all that she has done, and i know that because of taylor, i will end up stronger after my battles.

8. how unafraid of change she is. taylor reinvented country music, made a flawless transition into pop, created one of the greatest comebacks of all time, and emerged from a dark storm as a colorful buttery all before she was 30. it would be very easy for an artist to stay in the same genre or style for their whole career, but taylor has continued to experiment with her work and create new types of music. i think that it is such a brave and fearless thing to do, and taylor has done it perfectly every time. not only does she change up her music, but she also tries out new hairstyles and clothing, which has left me feeling safe enough to do new things with my hair and style too. i hope taylor always continues to surprise us and try new things, because i absolutely adore the outcomes.

9. how she uses her platforms to speak out & express her opinions. one of the things i am the most proud of taylor for is how far she has come in expressing her beliefs and mind. taylor has voiced her political views, supported other artists, advocated for the equality act, spoke out on gender inequality, and has even been fearless in her fight to own her own work. it isn’t an easy thing to voice where you stand on certain events, or to raise awareness, especially while being directly in the public eye, but taylor has come so far in doing so in exactly the right ways, and i am so immensely proud of her for it.

10. how she is such a determined, ambitious, & big-dreaming person. taylor reminds me every single day that absolutely anything is possible. she has shown me that it is okay to have a wild imagination, incredible dreams, and high hopes. she inspires me to work hard for what i want, and to never think something i want to work for is unrealistic or impossible. taylor had very ambitious and big dreams, and with years of hard work and dedication, she succeeded. taylor’s remarkable life and story should be a constant reminder that anything is possible if you want it enough and are willing to put in the work for it.

taylor is so kind, creative, brilliant, entertaining, and unapologetically herself. through taylor’s music, heart, and passion, she has shown me how to love myself, and get through even the darkest of times. she taught me how to be fearless. to not wait, but instead speak now in the moment. to live exciting experiences in burning red. that i am not the opinion of someone who doesn’t know me, and that i should just shake it off. that my reputation does not define who i really am. and that you are what you love. i hope more than anything that someday i will get to tell all of this to taylor in person, and thank her for absolutely everything. i love her more than words can say. i hope this list is even a small start in explaining how much she has meant to me for the past 10 years.

love, emma <3

@taylorswift @taylornation ��💗💗💗

#taylor swift #taylornation #taylurking #taylor nation #taylorlurking #taylorswift #taylor i love you buddy #i stand with taylor #fortaylor #for taylor

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heyitsneen · 5 years

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I AM OBSESSED with this sexually-fluid season of Are You the One? on MTV. I can’t believe there isn’t more on tumblr about it except for a few Justin/Max gifsets. Y’ALL, we finally got the messy reality dating show treatment and it is being slept on!!!!

Let me introduce you to this epic cast real quick:

We have Basit, who uses they/them pronouns, they are the best, sweetest, most loving, beautiful and patient person I’ve seen on a show like this who helps everyone be their best selves and serves looks!

We have Remy, who is the mischievous, debonair, hookup king, fun-loving seems-like-bad-news-at-first-but-actually-has-a-heart-of-GOLD-and-deserves-all-the-love scene-stealer of the show!

We have Kai, a charming transmasculine gender fluid heartbreaker who just wants to have fun and make connections, living his best life and learning a bit about his more destructive tendencies along the way!

We have total snack Brandon being too mature for this show!

We have the beautiful and fun and funny Aasha (who unfortunately imo hasn’t gotten enough screentime)!

We have sweet, sexy, naked-gymnastics-ing, Harry Potter tattoo having Jenna overcoming her pattern of jumping into toxic relationships and stealing my heart!

We have Clark Kent in a skirt Danny just wanting to be desired and loved while taking care to make everyone sandwiches and be the person people need!

We have queen Nour jumping into every possible fight but falling almost obsessively into whoever she decides might be her match every minute and bringing the drama!

We have Max going on a journey of vulnerability and facing his own internalized homophobia falling head over-heals for the first time!

We have Jonathan being a messy obsessed annoying person lol with a sweet heart somewhere under his obliviousness learning more about they/them pronouns and learning to shed his masc 4 masc bullshit!

We have Amber who just wants loyalty opening herself up to fun again being so bubbly and sweet and beautiful and trying her best!

We have Kari who wants to win the damn show and who is really practical and cute and seems like she would be very easy to be besties with!

We have Jasmine, Mississippi queen who you don’t want to fight with but who will also have your back and who is one of the most unapologetically herself people i’ve seen on a show like this, she is just so funny and chill and...I have heart-eyes!

We have the beautiful and wise Kylie who honestly needs more screen time because she is stunninnnng and seems incredibly intuitive and funny but maybe she just has no time for the drama ;)!

We have BAD BITCH PAIGE who just came out to the world for this show and is guarded as all hell trying to let down her walls, she seems so sweet but she is also a STUNNER like music video worthy looks every week and a hilarious and tough side that isn’t immediately obvious!

And last but not least we have Justin who is a major flirty flirt and loves to get his drink on and have fun but who is also really open and vulnerable about his past and his desire for lasting love and has really sweet surprisingly insightful moments in between his more party-loving ways ;)!

There is drunk fighting! Kissing in a literal closet! Queer Prom! A Mermaid Party! Crying over being misunderstood and wanting love! Sweet kisses! Sexy kisses! Awkward kisses! Honestly this show is so fun and I wish they’d keep a sexually fluid or lgbt spinoff going forever.

Please do yourselves a favor and watch season 8 of this trashy reality tv show!!! Finally finally a show is giving us gender and sexually fluid representation and allowing the cast to be just as messy as any heterosexual dating show! It really made me cry honestly watching people feel safe expressing themselves around eachother and seeing us represented as not just the token-lgbt person but a whole cast of people who would normally have to worry about not being ‘too much’ for the straights around them on a reality show like this but now they get to just be themselves and it is so free and beautiful!!!! Don’t get me wrong it is plenttyyyy messy but it feels different, it feels like these people want the best for each other and understand each other (at least some of the time but they aren’t without their drama), there isn’t nearly as much misogyny as a straight season of this show has, there are heartfelt talks about coming out and about transitioning and about internalized homophobia and issues unique to the lgbt experience. There is also a ton of hooking up and some drunken fights and many trips to the ‘boom boom room’ but that’s all part of the fun!

#are you the one?#ayto season 8 #ayto #mtv #long post

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xialing-gf · 5 years

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she (mj x reader)

7th installment in my songfic series

Summary (based on the song She by dodie): falling in love with your best friend, mj, was a wild, but beautiful journey

Wc: 2201

Tw: questioning of sexuality, coming out to not really accepting parents

Playlist (Listen to while reading this fic!):

❀she by dodie

❀growing pains by coin

❀bad ideas by tessa violet

❀smithereens by twenty one pilots

❀focus by allie x

“I am so glad to be here today. I never thought I would ever be standing here. If you told me I was going to be giving a speech at a Pride Parade as the representative of my high school’s GSA club five years ago, I wouldn’t have believed you. I’m so grateful for everything that has helped me turn into the person I am today. I’m so glad to have been through this journey, despite its low moments and confusing aspects. But if I hadn’t ever questioned who I was, I might’ve never ended up with the love of my life, who in fact, is standing right in front of me right now,” The pride sticker Michelle stuck on your face shifted as you smiled, gesturing to your girlfriend who was standing at the front of the crowd.

MJ waved, blushing a faint, cherry cola red color spreading across her cheeks as everybody clapped and cheered. Your hands were shaking under the podium out of fear but you kept your voice strong and steady as you conveyed your speech to the crowd. You never imagined this moment happening and was still to try to comprehend the importance and full scale of this event that you were speaking at.

“So many of you here today have found yourself or are in the process of finding yourself. If you haven’t found yourself yet, that’s completely okay. Today, I’m going to be sharing my journey with you to let you how rocky the road truly is. The struggle LGBT+ people go through on a daily basis is never explicitly discussed so I hope after I share my story with you, more people will come forward and share their stories of love, heartbreak, struggle, pain, and discovery,” Your smile grew wider as your statement earned a smatter of applause. As you gazed into the audience, you looked into people’s eyes, emotionally bonding with them through an unspoken, shared struggle. “It all began when…”

“... can we go to the park again? Mom, we’re done with the coloring pages the teachers gave to us,” You glanced hopefully up at your mom with Michelle, who was flashing puppy eyes by your side, and crossed your fingers behind your back, hoping for her to say yes. Your mother seemed reluctant and a little apprehensive of your request, but after a thought or two, she gave in.

“Alright, you two can go to the park. Come back before dinner!” Your mother called after you and MJ as you both took off the moment you heard the word “alright”. You and MJ loved going to a local park and creating flower crowns and all your kindergarten classmates envied the flower petals stuck in MJ’s hair and the twigs tangled in yours. Everybody, even those with best friends, envied your bond with MJ.

After finishing homework at your house or MJ’s, you and Michelle usually went to the park and in addition to braiding flowers into each other’s hair and making flower crowns, you both explored the playground, swung on swings, and played hide-and-seek. Sometimes, Michelle climbed up the large willow tree that moped on the vibrant green field nearby and encourage you to join her up in the branches and leaves. You attempted to climb up the tree a couple times but always chickened out.

As time passed, you and Michelle grew older and suddenly, the playground was too small for the both of you. In 2nd grade, you both were already making plans to explore the entire world, vowing to one day leave New York and travel to Australia, Europe, Africa, and every other possible place. By 3rd grade, you both created and wore friendship rings on your thumbs that later barely fit on your pinkie.

5th grade was when you and Michelle began to have sleepovers every Saturday night and continued this tradition even until now. At first, sleepovers were like any other play date but extended throughout the night. You would play many card and board games (except for monopoly; you and Michelle decided it was a game for boring adults) and as you grew older, it became video games like Just Dance and Wii Sports.

In 7th grade, you and Michelle stopped playing games during these sleepovers and began to talk about life and the absurdity of society. Sleepovers were almost like a what’s-wrong-with-society-and-how-we-can-fix-it club as your love for activism was rooted in your discussions with Michelle. One day, you brought up the topic of the LGBT+ community that twisted your perspective on life in a different direction.

“So, what are your thoughts on the LGBT community?” You asked, staring up at the ceiling as you lay next to her in your sleeping bag. Crickets chirped outside Michelle’s window as a momentary silence fell over the both of you after you asked.

“Well, I’m… actually part of the community,” Michelle slowly answered, an unfamiliar tone coating her words. During all of the years you knew Michelle, you never had heard her use such an uncertain tone. She was always confident, slightly aggressive, and unapologetically herself. But the tone she used when stating she was part of the LGBT community made her sound fragile and cautious.

“Oh, okay,” You nodded slowly, hoping to express that you weren’t that shocked when in reality, you were very surprised Michelle wasn’t heterosexual. But then again, Michelle was unbelievably talented at keeping secrets. “I’m lesbian. By the way,” Michelle reluctantly added, hoping that it would clear up her previous, vague statement a bit more. You offered a small smile and nodded again, remembering the article you read about how to react if somebody came out to you. It wasn’t like you weren’t used to people who were part of the LGBT+ community-there were a couple bisexual and gay people in your grade-but it was sort of shocking realizing the person you thought you knew the most had kept something from you for a long time.

The peaceful silence turned into an uncomfortable one and Michelle awkwardly asked, “You don’t mind, do you? Me being a lesbian isn’t going to ruin our friendship, right? Are we going to stop having sleepovers?”

“No, of course not! Just because you’re lesbian, it doesn’t change anything between us. You’re still the same old Michelle,” You reassured Michelle quickly, hoping that she didn’t get a wrong impression of your feelings by the silence. It was a lot to process, and there was a nagging thought at the back of your mind that resurfaced during this conversation.

“Oh, good. Well, let’s call it a night. I’m kind of tired,” Michelle announced, rolling over in her bed and pulling her blankets up to her shoulders. “Night.”

“Night,” You mumbled back as you nestled yourself in your sleeping bag, trying to not think too much about the conversation. Eventually, you managed to fall asleep, but when you woke up, you realized what had been bothering you. You never entertained the idea that you liked girls but when Michelle admitted she did, for some reason, it seemed to open up new doors and for the first time in your life, you started wondering if you weren’t straight.

Throughout eighth grade, you constantly suffered through an inner turmoil of questioning your sexuality. You had always thought girls were extremely pretty but never had the guts to admit it. Ever since a young age, heterosexuality was established as a norm. You never really considered any of your affections for girls until now. Now that you knew a label for these different kinds of feelings for people, you began to question everything you learned from a young age.

Michelle has a suspicion that was something was on your mind and asked you almost constantly why you were zoning out or what you were thinking about, but you always brushed it off with a simple “I’m tired, that’s all”. You didn’t want to talk about your feelings and thoughts because you were afraid that if you said what was on your mind aloud, it would make all your thoughts true.

Soon, you couldn’t hold it in any longer and one day, you looked at yourself in the mirror, took a deep breath in and admitted out loud, “I think I might not be straight.”

The shattering, screaming silence after your words was deafening, and you realized that now that you admitted it out loud, your life made sense. You still had no idea what label to put on yourself and it took months for you to finally match your feelings to a name: bisexual.

You worked up the nerve to tell Michelle when you two were eating lunch under the cool shade of a giant tree. You had put down your sandwich and cleared your throat before you spoke, “MJ, I have something to tell you.”

“Hm?” Michelle looked up from her lunch, her eyes widening with curiosity. One of her curls fell across her forehead and she brushed it aside, leaning a bit more forward to give you her undivided attention.

“I just wanted to let you know that I’m bisexual. I’ve been thinking about it a lot,” You tried not to rush your words like you did when you were nervous. Surprisingly, Michelle didn’t really react all that much; she simply nodded her head and replied, “Cool. Thanks for telling me.”

After Michelle’s reaction, your unreasonable worries that she wouldn’t accept you faded away. Nothing changed between you two and in fact, your confession had brought you closer together.

High school started and you were faced with an array of new variables to deal with including an increase in homework assignments and tests. Additionally, you and Michelle welcomed Peter Parker and Ned Leeds into your friend group. There was also a Gay-Straight Alliance club that you and Michelle were debating on joining.

Freshmen year was mostly a year if you trying to figure out how high school worked. Sophomore year was when you worked on your personal life. You came out to your parents and since they were traditional-type parents, they had a hard time understanding what “bisexual” meant. They weren’t a hundred percent supportive and implied that they didn’t really accept you yet based on their limited knowledge of the term, but they hadn’t really gotten mad at you so you took that as a positive sign.

Another change in your life was that you and Michelle decided to join the GSA. You both began helping out with raising awareness and advocating for equality for people of all genders, sexualities, and races in school by making posters and volunteering at fundraising events.

You also began studying with Michelle after school at the library and you would often get distracted and start writing notes in the corner of Michelle’s notebook. She would reply to those notes and you would have full on conversations with her through writing. One day, when you both were stringing together a silly story through a jumble of words, you glanced at Michelle and realized how beautiful she looked with her curls spilling across her forehead and a smile illuminated by the sunlight. Suddenly, you realized that you were crushing on your best friend.

Junior year was the year you worked up the courage to ask Michelle out. Peter and Ned had been pressuring you to ask Michelle out to a school dance ever since you admitted you had a crush on her. After you and Michelle watched a movie together (as friends), you drove her home and while you walked her to the door, you asked, “Hey MJ, you know how prom is in a month, right? Well, I was wondering if you wanted to go with me to prom as a date.”

“I’d be delighted,” Michelle smiled, blushing in the dim shine of the house’s porch light. Once she went into her house, you held your triumphant excitement until you got into your car.

Prom was better than you had ever imagined. You and Michelle danced together during the slow dance but when the DJ began playing “hype songs”, you both left prom to get sushi. You and Michelle never really officially determined when you started dating. Sometime after prom, you and Michelle began calling hanging out dates and holding hands in hallways. Kissing and cuddling were saved for when you both had time alone.

Senior year was the year when you were elected as representative of the GSA, meaning that you would represent your school’s GSA at public events. Michelle was elected as the president, which didn’t come as a surprise since she actively participated in the club the most. And now…

“... I’m standing here in front of all of you, hoping that my story has reminded you all of how hard the journey of finding yourself is,” You spoke into the microphone, standing up straighter and looking into people’s eyes.

“The world is a complicated place and one day, if this day hasn’t come to you already, you will find who you are and who you love. Thank you for listening.”

The crowd cheered and clapped, but the only person you were paying attention to was the love of your life, Michelle Jones.

go to my marvel page on my tumblr for more marvel fics!

search the tag #sam’s songfic series for more songfics in this series!

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audikatia · 4 years

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3.07 I Kissed a Girl

Rating: 4/5.

Best Song: I’m the Only One. I actually really loved all the songs in this episode, but I am really amused by my imaginary re-write where all the characters slowly realize he’s singing to Shelby except for Finn and Schue because when have either of them ever fucking clued in?

Memorable Quote: “Worry about yourself, fetus-face.” -Santana

General Notes:

Honestly, good on Finn for saying it was a stage-slap instead of a real slap. And good on Santana for calling out Figgins for claiming a zero-violence stance at school when slushies are constant, characters are regularly slammed into lockers, characters have been thrown into dumpsters, characters have been locked in port-a-potties that were then thrown over. Like, what?

I love how last episode, everyone was wetting their pants over how great Kurt was for being the only candidate who didn’t do a negative smear campaign against his rivals, but then in this episode he’s like, “Welp, guess it’s time to rig the election!” I like morally-righteous!Kurt and I like ambitious-at-any-cost!Kurt, but for consistency’s sake, pick a fucking lane for him in this plot line.

I really relate to Santana because if people decided to helpfully sing at me, I too would respond with scathing comments out of sheer embarrassment

Okay, but Blaine singing that last bit at Kurt is so fucking cute. No one loves Kurt like Blaine loves Kurt.

I love Beiste unapologetically eating a turducken at lunch. Good for her.

I really love some of the characters slowly picking up that Puck is serenading Shelby, but I wish they had actually pushed it a step further. Like, first it’s Quinn. Then Rachel. Then Artie and Mike. Then Blaine and Kurt. Eventually, it’s everyone except Finn and Schue because they’re just completely clueless.

Listen, my shipper heart kills me when I hear Puck shut down Quinn, but knowing how their relationship evolves, I actually kinda like this moment? They have such a deep relationship that has weathered so much. This is one of those moments in a much larger story made up of so many exchanges, touches, growths.

I get that everyone is so concerned about Santana, but what about Brittany? She’s kind of getting outed by proxy.

Finn should sing in a lower register more often. This version of “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” slaps

Oh, Finn telling Santana he loves her almost made me tear up. No lie.

The whole voting sequence is fucking adorable. Mike voting for Kurt made me all smiles and Santana voting for Brittany with a heart and then kissing her ballot? She’s so sweet when no one pays attention

*heavy sigh* I guess it was only a matter of time before they performed “I Kissed a Girl”

There is literally no way Puck would be in the same math class as Blaine, Artie, and Tina. I know they’re a grade below, but still.

SHELBY. DON’T FUCK YOUR STUDENT. OMG. Idina Menzel did nothing to deserve this!

I remember reading once that the kitchen where Santana talks to her abuela was also the kitchen from the American Horror Story: Murder House set and I have remembered that fact ever since. I have probably thought about this maybe once a month every month for the last eight fucking years. I want a new brain.

Also, fuck. My grandma and I were very close and I cannot imagine the absolute heartbreak if I was rejected from her the way Santana was rejected.

Puck is the only fucking person to realize Quinn is falling apart. Their entire exchange is so beautiful. She actually opens up to him and lets herself be vulnerable in front of him in a way that she doesn’t with nearly anyone else. She actually asks him to hold her, lets herself be held and taken care of. They really and truly love each other in a way that spans years and acres of emotions.

But also, Puck. You are the dumbest motherfucker. “You have to promise not to tell anyone.” Are you kidding me with this shit? You know she will! She is unhinged and spiraling!

Oh, Sue saying Cooter is the best thing that happened to her since “the soft morning Becky Jackson walked into her life” is hella sweet. I mean, Cooter is a fucking monster, but Sue and Becky’s relationship is top tier, man.

“Where’s Rachel? She never misses applause.” Artie is always dragging Rachel and he is my hero for it

I need Kurt’s poncho/sweater/blanket-with-holes. Listen, fashion is getting closer and closer to the day when I can just wear a goddamn blanket and it’s totally acceptable. This is the conclusion that we have been moving towards as a human race. The future is bright. It is bright and hopefully cashmere.

#Glee #audi rewatches Glee

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shnookumsandlovemuffin · 6 years

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OITNB Season 6 Part 1: Vauseman/The VauseChapmans

About 3 days ago I finished watching the new season of OITNB and whoah baby do I have a lot of thoughts. I have so many feelings, SO MANY FEELINGS and not even just where Vauseman is concerned, I have a lot to say this time around, there was a lot of good stuff this year both little and big. So to start things off this first post is all about Vauseman and I have a shit ton to say about them this season because let me tell you I am one proud momma.

I don’t want to hear anymore about how Alex and Piper are the absolute worst and are absolutely bad for each other. I’m on the other side of that fucking hill.

Let’s begin:

Remember when Piper’s family knew nothing about Alex and she remained nameless.

Remember this flashback in season 2x01:

Piper: I think it’s time for me to call my dad

Alex: Tell Bill I said happy birthday

Piper: You don’t exist remember

Alex: That’s right I’m the invisible woman

And then Piper got on the phone and lied to her dad about Alex.

Now here we are in season 6 and Piper is on her one phone call with her dad trying to get information on the “inmate casualty” and about getting a lawyer. She says Alex’s name and even tells her dad that they’re engaged to which that hypocritical homophobic fuck responds by hanging up on her. Fuck Bill and his bullshit can of corn. But it is so adamantly clear that Piper is fully invested at this point. She is now and from this moment on Unapologetically Piper.

The tragedy about Piper’s relationship with her dad is that his love is a love that is based on conditions. As long as you’re being the good girl, as long as you’re doing what is expected of you, then you are loved. Bill makes it seem as if her father’s love is something that she has to earn and that will fuck any kid up. The fear of never being good enough and no matter how hard you try you will never live up to expectations, burying your mistakes and flaws because they’re just not acceptable in your family’s eyes. One of Piper’s biggest deep rooted fears is that she will never be worthy of anyone’s love. This fear was brought upon by her family, her mother and father, the people that should love her no matter what. Unfortunately Bill and Carol (though Carol redeemed herself in my eyes) set the precedent on their children that love comes with conditions.

So for Piper to come forward and state her engagement to her father just spoke volumes. Alex is no longer the invisible woman.

I was completely moved by how invested Alex and Piper were with each other this season. Often times I found myself asking is this the same back stabbing, selfish, hate-fucking couple that started off in such a toxic place. Who the hell are you two and what the hell have you both done with Alex and Piper? Season 6 Vauseman is a complete 180 from where they were. It was amazing and beautiful to watch.

Alex being super protective and soft with Piper. Just the lengths she went to protect Piper and keep her out of trouble. She was ready to fuck up Badison for planting heroin on her. She joined a gang in exchange for Piper’s safety basically sacrificing her freedom to ensure that Piper would get out. Alex was constantly working behind the scenes to make sure that she would be okay.

“...my promise is to make it up to you in small quiet ways” -Alex Vause

I just think it’s so beautiful that in the beginning it all started with Alex naming Piper, “breaking her life,” and putting her in prison and now here she is clearing the pathway so that Piper can get out. Ultimately it WAS Piper’s naivety and stupidity that got her released early (we’ll talk about that in another post) but Alex pulled the necessary strings so that Piper wouldn’t meet any obstruction. It all just came full circle for me.

Alex loves Piper so much that she was willing to jeopardize her own chances at freedom just so Piper could have hers. Are you hearing me in the back?

And can we also point out that we finally finally finally got the “I love you” exchange and not once but several times over. Do you guys realize that we haven’t heard Alex and Piper exchange I love yous since season 2 and it was in a flashback! So that would mean it has literally been years since these two have exchanged proper I love yous. One thing I have been wishing more than anything was that once just once could I hear Piper tell Alex that she loves her to her face.

Every time we heard Piper say that she loved Alex it was always expressed to someone else, and if you want to count the time Piper told Alex she picked Larry, that wasn’t an “I love you” that was a bullshit guilt ridden consolation prize of an apology.

Even Alex. Remember her “I heart you?” a true statement yes, but also a way of expressing her feelings but still protecting them by not saying the word “love”

Now, Alex has chosen to fully trust Piper with her heart and is dropping the “I love yous” right back at her and I am loving every minute. And between them it just felt so real and so honest.

Just the constant exchange of “I love you” had me tearing up and we haven’t even talked about the wedding yet.

Seriously who are these two? Where is Alex and Piper?

And then came Piper’s early release. Dear god, I told you guys I was going to cry ugly fucking tears and again we haven’t even got to the wedding yet!

We knew this day was coming and just seeing Alex come in so proud that she managed to get real coffee beans and was going to share them with Piper only to have that bomb dropped on her. So shocked she was to hear Piper was getting out that she forgot that Piper already said she was getting out tomorrow. All she heard was “I’m getting out of prison.”

She’s losing Piper again and it’s not even by Piper’s own choice. Alex is doing her best to keep it together and be happy for Piper and I honestly think the sweetest thing Piper said in that moment was “I don’t wanna leave you.” It’s not that Piper doesn’t want to leave prison, she doesn’t want to leave Alex, and leaving prison means leaving Alex. Alex tells Piper to HUG her. Alex has never been known to ask for a hug so you know this news hit her hard and she probably didn’t want Piper to see her break down so she told her to “fucking hug her already”

And I feel like on some level the emotions Alex was feelings might’ve also been a little bit of Laura’s too because since Piper’s getting out this is the last time Laura is going to be in “prison” with her co-star. So I feel like this scene could’ve possibly been emotional for the actors as well.

And last but not least Alex and Piper’s prison wedding. THIS WHOLE SCENE FUCKED ME DIRECTLY THE FUCK UP from beginning to end. I had a feeling we would get the prison wedding this season especially since it was widely whispered that Piper would be getting out. Truthfully I did feel it was time for Piper to leave the prison and I’m glad it was this season.

Everything about this scene was perfect to me: Nicky presiding (I fucking love her) Morello being the literal embodiment of every Vauseman fan out there watching this wonderful moment. Black Cindy and Flaca hugging Piper. The exchange of vows, it was all too much. I get teary eyed thinking about it.

As Alex and Piper were exchanging vows my mind started thinking back to where Piper and Alex both started out in season 1 and I started thinking about all that they went through. And through it all they’ve managed to come out the other side and now they’re getting MARRIED. I still can’t believe it.

Can we also point out that Alex arranged all this for Piper. Ms. “I don’t want a fucking prison wedding.” Ms. “Shower sex is lame.” Ms. “How dare you say I need a shower.” Alex will do anything for Piper.

It would’ve been nice to get the honeymoon in the utility closet because that would’ve been the cherry on top for a perfect season for Vauseman, but honestly I didn’t need a sex scene as nice as it would’ve been. Because to me watching Piper and Alex develop their relationship by communicating, being loving and supportive of each other is just worth much more.

So now that Piper is out the true test begins. Alex has four years left and Piper has vowed to wait. It will be interesting to see how these two cope without being able to touch and see each other all the time and I am interested in seeing how Alex handles prison without Piper and Piper without Alex. Piper would probably focus on building their life outside of prison and writing her book and who knows maybe Alex might get out early.

The last thing I got to bring up is Kubra:

Kubra didn’t show up. So maybe they will leave that plot hole open. But we still have one more season left you guys. I truly want Piper and Alex to ride off in the sunset together and until Alex is out of prison and back with Piper I’m still going to continue to worry. Alex and Piper are married, in love, and healthy. Please oh please dear writers do not fuck that up.

This has been a wonderful yet heartbreaking season for Alex and Piper and I’m so satisfied and proud of their relationship. They started from the bottom and now they’re here. Ladies and gentlemen, the Vause-Chapmans.

#oitnb spoilers #oitnb season 6 #oitnb season 6 spoilers #orange is the new black #vauseman #vause-chapmans #alex pearl vause #piper elizabeth chapman #alex and piper #piper and alex #commentary #analysis

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