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crqstalite · 10 months

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now tell me some about your bg3 blorbo kallista!! 👀👀

oooo thank you!! similar warnings for minor (act 1?) spoilers below :) im not actually super well-versed in baldur's gate lore, so some of its vague for the sole reason i have zero idea what i'm talking about lmao

her full name is kallista fortuna raeburn. she prefers the name kalli though usually. or 'the caster'. or 'the artisan'. or 'that tiefling down the road with the weird magical abilities'

she's about 27, turning 28 mid-campaign. 5'6", asmodeous tiefling sorc with a penchant for electricity and of course -- fire <3

( the wild magic bit doesn't help much )

grew up in a semi-major town outside baldur's gate. she worked primarily as an artisan at the request of her house mother after leaving the orphanage she grew up in. she loves to make things with her hands.

on that thought, she ended up in an orphanage shortly after her parents disappeared. kallista has never found out what happened to them, but it is part of her sub-story. her parents were adventurers, not unlike who she'd eventually become, and often took off on long trips. however it was unusual when her father didn't return after a particular excursion, and her mother went after him -- never to return again. kallista believes them dead, but has never really stopped looking. they left her with a pendant that would direct her back to the matching one her father wore, but finding it crushed and buried at seventeen certainly didn't help matters. her mother's is still out there, keeping the pendant warm, but she's never had the means to find it when it lead out to open ocean.

her father was a seldarine drow while her mother was a tiefling.

with the others often not-so-well-veiled distrust of her because of her tiefling background, kallista became a bit of a wily one early on. she's a little too dexterous for her own good (her claws allow her to attempt lock picking), and a bit of a charismatic smooth talker. it allowed her to sneak in and out of the orphanage, lie and often persuade others to give her what she wanted. usually she was rather benevolent, it just could get destructive if she forgot details (like what she told whom or how she had gotten in/left the night prior). high dex/charisma score v. low wisdom/int score troubles

very much a 'react first, ask questions later' person. easily spooked. not a good idea to sneak up on her. however not so easily grossed out (collects specimen off battlefields like it's nothing. likely is always covered in...someone's blood. not always her's.)

she's actually incredibly smart in the arcana, even with her avg. intelligence score. she has a crazy photographic memory, and if she's experienced the spell firsthand, it's way easier to remember the history attached to it and the grimoire it was in.

very chaotic good! she's always down to help someone...but that doesn't mean she'll do it right. or legally. but you lived right? stop getting bogged down in the details.

her closest party members are likely halsin (her RO), lae'zel (she has a weird amount of respect for her...and is terrified of her), shadowheart (similar reasons), karlach (she had a major crush on her early on before it waned into 'no, i just really respect and like you around' ) and astarion (the only person she organically got to know without being scared of him)

not so much a fan of gale, and largely academically curious about wyll. of course, he's her friend, but she's never met a warlock prior to him. she likes to learn, even if she's a little nosy. actually, yeah, she's similarly academically fascinated by gale and his problems with mystra. she just thinks he's a little odd (and perhaps pretentious...he's a proper wizard to her wild magic sorcery)

( sorry weird amount of astarion & kallista content...ivelina's run will be romancing him bc im not normal about him )

astarion is a weird case for her because unlike the others, she didn't immediately clock him as a threat. yes, he did try to sink his fangs into her and suck her dry, but after the initial 'holy shit youre so very very lucky i did not fireball you into next week' wore off, oh boy astarion got bombarded with so many questions. he thinks he would've been better off had she tried to stab him.

( she's a sciency gal at heart )

still, she likes his sarcastic nature and his willingness to be vulnerable with her later on. they become rather quick friends (well, she calls him a friend the day after he bites her, it takes him a while to get past 'pest-like woman who won't leave me be')

she regularly lets him drink from her, it takes him a while to come around to actually, well, even coming close to enjoying it, but somewhere after kallista stops flinching everytime he does it they have a nice amount of comradery. there's some fleeting romantic interest that isn't reciprocated by either party, but it isn't unusual to find them sitting by the fire later, the pair of them discussing the days events...and maybe astarion making sure the all-too-nice tiefling doesn't pass out from blood loss.

they nitpick at each other quite a lot. usually in good fun, in the wiity, dramatical way he does and the sarcastic, innocent-but-not really way she does. if astarion wasn't incredibly pale and kallista did without the horns and tail, it wouldn't be all that bad of a guess that they were half siblings in another life.

on that note, she is...not good with boundaries. unlike koda this appears more as her inserting herself into everyone's problems and lives. mostly because her own is such a mystery and her feeling like she's never belonged turned her into a social chameleon. she needs people to like her. after all, if she's all-knowing, it means she can control what others think of her...and if she stays in their good graces, they won't leave her, right? if she becomes a fixture in their lives, they have to stick around. right? yeah. yeah...

( her parents disappearing + her rough childhood in the orphanage did...wonders for her self-perception )

in the "best" sense of the word, she doesn't really know when no means no. and it takes just about everyone (but especially lae'zel post vlaakith reveal) to get her to back off and relax. she struggles immensely with the lack of stability in her life, and getting tadpole-napped did not help matters. on the outside it shows more as her just wanting to be "helpful", but in reality she subconsciously wants to give you a reason to stay around her. to need her for something. it's manipulative -- she doesn't know it, but i do.

is learning how to navigate her new relationship with halsin. while she is monogamous, she respects that he is not, but perhaps gets a little forlorn thinking about the after...and how he may not always be around. or that her little tadpole family may not be either. it keeps her up at night.

living in the here and now is hard with so many emotional loose ends for her. but halsin does his best to sooth her worries, and peppers her with enough affection to garner attention from the others. kallista never minds this. wyll has not slept peacefully in a minute.

their dynamic is very much that she's the spitfire short girlfriend who has to remind the barkeep her beloved teddy bear of a boyfriend did not want pickles and so help her hells if they didn't take it off his sandwich--

has been to baldur's gate a few times on trips for the business she used to work for. however in-game, it's her first time going by herself...and so much has changed.

has a scar on her face after accidentally slicing open a part of her face with a paring knife when she was practicing telekinesis as a teenager.

thank you for asking im incapable of shutting up <3333

#oc: kallista raeburn #oc #original character #baldurs gate 3 #bg3

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ready-to-obeyme · 4 years

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[OM!] 7 Demon Brothers + Alcohol 🥂

tw: alcohol consumption and things related to it

Note: Ranked the brother’s alcohol tolerance from best to worst at handling alcohol and added some alcohol-related headcanons too like how they’d act at parties :0

I may have used some people I’ve seen at college parties as inspiration

Asmodeus

what can I say except: King 👑👑

the man goes out to parties often and you BET there’s alcohol

and yeah it’s fun to get buzzed, but ya boy gotta be sober enough to woo all the demons and dance the entire night!!

he’s built a lot of tolerance against all devildom drinks and even some human alcohol-- which is why he’s so shocked when he loses to you in a drinking contest in the storyline

he’s not used to losing especially when it comes to drinking and he takes pride in being the one on top every time

is there to have a Good Time with alcohol, and he’s usually an instigator when it comes to its consumption because he wants people to have a good time too!! (but only if they actually want to drink-- he ain’t forcing anyone!)

would know when to stop; knows his limits and the limits of others pretty well, so he’s actually really good at taking care of people when they’ve gone overboard

alas is the burden of the sober (or less drunk); is definitely the one who throws back a shot but is also the one offering you a glass of water or a trashbag to throw up in or hold up your hair

he is SO good at taking care of you after a night out

like I said: 👑👑

Beelzebub

bigger mass, bigger muscles = better alcohol tolerance

doesn’t drink that often to be honest, but he can hold his own

doesn’t like drinking because it tastes nasty and doesn’t really fill him up-- though the fruity drinks are ok

heavy weight drinker when he does drink tho--- voracious appetite is matched with his ability to down shots like it’s no biggie

also, considering he eats so much, that also helps him in terms of alcohol tolerance

like asmo, his ability to not get drunk easily makes him the Guardian Angel Demon of Hydration

“have some more water” he says as he bends down and rubs your shoulders as you yak into a black trashbag

could probably shotgun a beer--- smash the butt of the can against his forehead and chugging it all down

ESEPCIALLY if it’s for a bet for food-- the man is unstoppable

will be part of clean-up crew and also eat all the snacks

Mammon

that’s right, he can drink Lucifer under the table-- but barely

but he’s the type to go too hard too fast so no know actually knows/thinks he can, but the man is WILDIN’

what can I say about the Avatar of GREED??

shotgunning beers, slappin’ the wine bags, funneling alcohol-- HE’S GOT IT ALL

gets super hyped up when drunk and is definitely a big instigator when he gets some alcohol in him

kind of endearing to watch his inhibitions completely disappear as he reigns as the Big Brother who will definitely win against you in any alcohol related games like beer pong, rage cage, anything!!

the man is good at gambling, math, and probably loads more that we don’t know about yet, so I’m not surprised if he’s actually super good at any games related to dexterity and hand-eye coordination even when he’s drunk

usually doesn’t really control himself with alcohol, so despite his tolerance often ends up bent over with a trash bag in hand

but if you’re there with him and aren’t familiar with alcohol, he’ll definitely tone it down and look out for you BECAUSE HE’S A SWEETIE

Lucifer

more of a wine drinker, less of a SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS type of person

you think he’d be all suave and haha alcohol np--

but the error message of him hugging the router because he’s drunk tells you he’s not as tolerant as people think he is AT ALL

he’s just very good at hiding when he’s inebriated, but even he can’t hide the tell-tale sign of his cheeks reddening

against his brothers, he’s very good at controlling himself and taking in enough alcohol to amuse himself but not go out of control

unless he’s provoked and Diavolo (or you ;) ) are there

lowkey competitive, especially when he thinks he can win

for some reason always finds himself drunk as hell despite telling himself “ok, easy on the alc tonight” and starts to slur his words and be suuuuuuper relaxed (which is really endearing for you to see because he softens and is more affectionate and less shy about pda)

I hc that he’s actually a talkative drunk because he’s usually so composed and careful with his words that without the ihibitions, he’s freely speaking his feelings more (uwu)

when he lets himself go though it’s so easy for him to embarrass himself LMAO and he’s lucky that most of his brothers are black-out drunk or too busy taking care of other people

Belphegor

“MC, I’m so sleeeeeeepy”

“Belphie, you’re always sleepy”

super cuddly when he’s buzzed

after a few drinks, settles himself into a couch and just chills and fuzzily watches people chaotically chugging drinks

pretty happy with just doing this because he sort of enjoys just being in the background and seeing his brothers enjoy themselves

if he was honest before, oh he’s super honest now-- but in an extremely affectionate way:

“MC have I ever told you that your hands are super soft?”

“Ahaha Mammon you dance funnyyyy”

absolutely no filter on the love, the mad man

definitely conks out at like 11pm even if the party started like only two hours ago, blissfully unaware of any of the party aftermath and thus never really ends up helping during clean-up

pretty hard to wake up-- but then again, he’s always hard to wake up

you could probably pick up the couch he’s on and push it into a lake and he’d just wake up confused??? or stack things on top of him and he’d never wake up or move

reminds me of that one vine where someone pours water on this girl’s face and she just wakes up and says “hello????”

Satan

the man wishes he had the tolerance of beel or lucifer or mammon god he wishes

but he does not-- not even CLOSE

is usually the designated driver and pretends he’s real cool with alcohol, but whenever he does drink, he’s out of the game SO QUICK

maybe it’s because everyone expects him to be tolerant to alcohol because he sometimes sips wine when he reads, but he is not great at alcoholic party games so ends up being drunk really early in the party

also, shots??? not the same

definitely the type of person to have taken a few shots at a time and be like “hm nothing is happening” and then feel it all at once

he’s definitely learned from that first time he’s drank so NEVER AGAIN

so whenever he does drink, he knows his limits (and boy it is low)

get super happy and-- not giggly persay, but he definitely has an easier time laughing considering he’s lost his inhibitions

not much can bring him down from this mood when he’s in the perfect zone between buzzed and drunk-- tries to aim for this zone every time but doesn’t always hit the mark

has probably tried reading after drinking and just ended up sleeping with the book on his face

Leviathan

doesn’t drink that much, doesn’t handle alcohol that well

...but people think he does because he always wins at party games

the man has the best hand-eye coordination from gaming; he is the MASTER at beer pong and rage cage

hates shots because it takes him out so quick

low-key one shot wonder, and his face gets so red after a few drinks

handles himself with beer a lot better, but easy to get pulled into the chaos and gets challenged by MUCH more experienced and alcohol tolerant brothers (COUGH MAMMON)

usually tries to find excuses to not drink and prefers to sit and drink other beverages

he is the master of the NAVY, give him WATER

would be part of clean up crew reluctantly, but if you need to be taken care of he is there for you--- no doubts about that

shyly puts an arm around you if you’re sleepy and makes sure you’re comfortable if you do end up falling asleep

also would end up taking care of other people (and actually does it really well), but does grumble under his breath bc he’s a tsundere

definitely has been on the bad side of drunk so is actually very protective of you if people are pushy with their drinks (it’s kind of sweet)

if you’re sober, you definitely have a friend with you who can watch on and remember EVERYTHING that goes on in the party and share inside jokes and good memories

#obey me headcanons #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me satan #obey me leviathan #obey me belphagor #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #shall we date? obey me!#tw drinking

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chaoticspacefam · 3 years

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6. “How do you think this will all end?” for D'leah, please <3

Pinky once again picking THE juiciest possible combo of prompt + characters, everybody go thank her bc I had a blast with this 👀 I’ve been wanting to write a oneshot for this part of the story for a while and this is the perfect excuse mwahaha

@palepinkycat here you go! Sorry this one took a little while, I haven’t had time to sit and write it out till now, but hopefully it’s a decent enough length to make it up to you! 👀

I have more to say about the body language I described in here (namely the significance of the “under chin” snuggles & also why D’leah Yelled At Abe When He Tried To Do It To Her At The End), but I have a Worldbuilding tag somewhere in my mentions so I’mma save it for that basically. More Tomato Lore gonna drop sometime in the next week or two once I’m done with the drawings skshsks I tried to do one for this one too but it was not coming out right so maybe some other time XD

I’ve seen a lot of fics explore what it’s like to have a Force bond and communicate with it but I’ve seen very few that deal with the “what if it breaks when one of them dies” side of it, so this is my take on what happens and how it probably feels for the “surviving” party; I usually describe my Force bonds as a sort of ethereal “thread” type thing that then connects their emotions/souls/however you want to see it and yadda yadda, so...you can’t tell me that snapping that thread wouldn’t fucking hurt ;-; For extra heart hurty, the song quotes were the main two songs I listened to while working on each “part” of this fic, so you can use them for ambience if you want ;)

As always I use the Coruscant Translator for (most of) my High Sith, translations are included on the bottom however :) (since the quote from the prompt is said in Sith, they’re gonna talk in High Sith sometimes being well...Sith :3)

Abaron is the best brother-in-law, I do not make the rules. D’leah you need to apologise to this man immediately 😂 she does, immediately after this (not shown) dw, I swear

Timeline/Setting: 3729 BBY (roughly/according to the still-holey timeline I’ve been working on since the “canon” one was released) Immediately post-Valkoriate takeover. As in, literally just happened slash is happening as this occurs.

Warnings: Character Death mention (Kissai), Breaking Force Bonds, Plenty of angst (it was from an “angsty” prompt list, after all! 😬) , possible slight gore (?) in the form of description of a former injury from a concussion grenade (just to be safe lol), and ofc some Cuss Words (™)

^^ these are ur warnings, click past this cut at ur own risk and I am not responsible for how you react bc you chose to pass the warning k thanks ^^

“Don’t care if he’s guilty, don’t care if he’s not. He’s good and he’s bad and he’s all that I’ve got. Oh lord, oh lord, I’m begging you please...don’t take that sinner from me -” ~ The Civil Wars, “Devil’s Backbone”

It all happened so fast, they had to react fast if they were going to save the twins, and D’leah knew that. She’d tried so desperately to help her husband, pouring as much of her Force energy as she could through the bond they shared. It had always worked before, why wasn’t it working NOW?! D’leah didn’t know, but she could feel him growing weaker and weaker by the second.

D’leah - his voice was so distant and faint, she almost didn’t want to acknowledge the reality of it. No, no no, he wasn’t dying he couldn’t be dying, no no no…. D-Don’t do this. Sai… her grip on the control cluster tightened until her knuckles turned pale, they were already in the air. It would be easy to do what she knew he was about to ask...but it would mean leaving him to his fate. Could she do that?

Dimly, D’leah could hear Abaron chattering to the girls behind her as he made sure they stayed in their seats, but she couldn’t hear the words any of them were saying, there was just him and that horrible, ominous weakness bleeding from her husband’s end of the bond.

You need to run… Kissai urged her. PROMISE me. The girls-

I can’t...not without you! her mind-voice caught as if the words were difficult to form, she felt him slip further away and frantically tried to bolster his strength up again, but somehow, she couldn’t put her finger on how, it only seemed to make the other Pureblood weaker. Sai, snichi… she pleaded, and she could feel the barest attempt at a smile from her husband as he gave her his final farewell,

Nu aki j’us, D’leah. RUN. For me...

His words were far weaker now, more forced, as if even Kissai knew he was running out of time to convey his plea. D’leah realised with a growing sense of horror that they really didn’t have another option, she had to protect their daughters. She reached towards the navcomputer to punch in the quickest hyperspace code she could think of that would get them as far away from Imperial Space as possible, but never managed to get there.

The pain hit her so fast that D’leah had no time to prepare for it even if in reality, she’d known it was coming. First, came the white-hot metal rod of pain that jammed right down the center of her spine. Every nerve ending felt like it was on fire and it was this that was enough to cause her to cry out in pain and lose her grip on the ship’s controls as the Pureblood was thrown sideways in her seat. She managed to fall with just enough grace to get herself out of Abaron’s way and as she hit the floor and the pain kept coming, she faintly heard the man curse in High Sith as he lunged across to take her place in the pilot’s seat before they nose-dived into Force-only-knows what, out here in open space like they were.

Then she felt the thread of Force energy between herself and her husband straining, threatening to snap, and before long, it did. D’leah knew logically there was nothing she could do to stop it, and that trying would make it hurt more, but she was desperate and on reflex she could not help but try. Frantically, she reached out with her own Force energy and clasped for each thread as it tore away from her, bit by bit, as if clutching at the strings would somehow, futilely, keep him here. Would let him live. But still, the pain came again, and again, and she fancied that the sinews of flesh being ripped from bone when she lost part of her face to that concussion grenade had been less painful than this. “No...no no no no please...please! NO!!!” Everything else was so faint and far-away in comparison that D’leah didn’t realise that her scream had been out loud this time, her fingers fumbling for her heart, though she couldn’t rightly tell if that was where the pain was truly coming from and it was simply a reflexive reaction.

For a long while she clenched her teeth through wave after wave of pain, and while it didn’t stop, it became easier with every breath for D’leah to push it into the background. Slowly, the Pureblood’s blurry vision cleared and she realised the twins were staring down at her, wide-eyed in horror.

She needed to get up. She needed to go to them, she needed to be strong. For them.

Saarai reached for her first, but she scooped both of them up into her arms as best as she was able, all but falling into the seat where the twins had been huddled moments before. The girls both clamored to settle themselves as close to her as they could without pushing the other out of her grasp too. D’leah held onto them as tightly as she could, only vaguely aware of Saarai’s voice as she chattered a question up at her, catching every second word or so. “Moooom!” as she reached up towards her again, and “Dad...gonna find us...right?”

Their mother shushed them softly, adjusting her grip to fit both of the twins, as best she was able, beneath her chin. Safe. They were safe there.

“Shhh, shh-shh, my little one.” she croaked shakily, a tremor passing through her frame as she tried to keep her voice steady and convincing through the lie. “He’ll catch up later, don’t you worry.”

They sat in silence, D’leah clutching them against her chest as if they, too, might disappear if she let them go for even one second, and Abaron took over piloting the ship so that she didn’t have to. He’d practically done all the work already, anyway. She risked a glance down at her daughters, and caught the wary glint in Saarai’s golden eyes, the sideward glance at her sister, and she knew that they knew it was a lie. But she had not the heart to tell them that yet. Not now, through the tears that had begun to stream from her eyes despite her attempts to hold them at bay. She did not mean to cry, but what else could she do??

Saarai’s tiny fingers reached up shakily, when she realised what they were, to brush the liquid tracks from her chin and the spurs on her jaw. It only made her cry more and hold them tighter.

“Nunchi woiunoks, oi ai utja…” she breathed soothingly, hoping it was convincing enough for the twins. “Mom’s got you...nothing is ever going to hurt you while I’m here.” She held them like that right until they landed.

“The daughter of a lawyer, told the fallen priest “it’s a cold, cold place in the arms of a thief”, And tapping at the arrow in her heel, she said “LEAVE ME ALONE! ...but just don’t leave me here, alright?” Alright..” ~ Iron & Wine, “Arms of a Thief”

By the time they arrived at their destination, some planet called “Rishii” that she doesn’t ever recall knowing of before - but perhaps that’s a good thing - and Abaron managed to find them a place to stay, the pain she had felt had dulled to more of a phantom throbbing than anything else. But her consciousness felt vulnerable and empty without Kissai’s own Force presence winding around hers, she felt alone, even though physically she was not. D’leah had sung and rocked the twins to sleep, with some effort, and glanced down at them as they slept, Ni’kasi’s arms curled around her sister as she burrowed under her chin for comfort beneath the blanket their mother had tucked around them.

The pain was gone, and in its wake came the FURY. It bubbled to the surface all too quickly, and D’leah began to tremble again, a growl rumbling deep in her throat as she realised that first, the girls were theoretically out of danger, and secondly, she still had a ship. She could go back.

“I’m going to kill that fucker.” the Pureblood wheeled for the door, only to find it blocked by Abaron, who seemed to have pre-empted her outburst. She stopped short, a hiss slipping past her teeth as her lip curled back to show her fangs briefly. “Abe. Move.” she snarled, resisting the urge to shout so as to not wake Saarai and Ni’kasi from their slumber. The tips of Abaron’s jaw spurs shook as, for once in his life, he declined to follow her order.

“No. My Lord, I can’t let you do that.”

It took every ounce of her self control not to do worse, but as it was, D’leah tried to lunge for him so she could force her way past, he might not have been taller than her but he was stronger, and heavier too. The man reacted just as quickly, his own hands closing around her wrists to push back and keep her in place, his own feet firmly rooted in the doorway as he grunted. “D’leah! Listen to me, please!”

The tears threatened to come to the surface again, her eyes burning hot, though this time the matriarch forced them down, though her voice still quivered as she spat, each word punctuated with a quiver in her voice.

“You have no idea how I am feeling right now!”

“Not wholly, no.” Abaron argued, releasing her arms as she dropped them back to her sides, her remaining spurs still rattling softly in agitation. “But I know that going back there now is foolish, my Lord!”

“Get. Out. Of. My. Way!” D’leah hissed, though she didn’t have the strength left after the manic dash away from Kaas to call the lightning to her fingertips and lend to the threat she was trying to punctuate. “H-He is sitting there, on our homeworld, w-with our people’s blood on his hands!” she tried to shove him again, but her fist connected dully with the plated armour on the other Pureblood’s chest and didn’t make much of an impact on him. “They’re all dead and y-you just want me to -!!”

“I’m trying to protect you, my Lord!” his teeth flashed back at her, yet another thing she would not have stood for if she was half as lucid as usual. He continued on further, his voice a low, agitated growl as he lowered his face to hers as if to punctuate his point. “That is my charge, it’s what you bid me to do and I will not have you risking your life for such a foolish venture, you’re not thinking straight! We are the only ones left! It’s my duty to make sure that all three of you stay alive!”

She flinched at the reminder. Them, and Vowrawn, perhaps...if he was sneaky enough. But Abaron was right, going back would put him at risk, too. His eyes searched hers frantically, and his hands remained raised as if Abaron wasn’t completely sure he wouldn’t need to hold her back again. D’leah was in half a mind about it herself, she wasn’t sure how to react now. And what her brother-in-law said next put the nail in the coffin, so to speak:

“Dias dari j'us minti pa saû iki wisa qorit?” he urged, the words a muttered whisper.

The Pureblood matriarch felt her anger fizzle out almost instantly as the realization sank in. The girls....they were only children. They were far too young for this. Too young, they were too young for this talk of death and loss and grief; too young to have to understand if she left them here and did not come back either. Their father’s passing would weigh heavily on them for the rest of their lives, they didn’t deserve to have to lose their mother, and on the same day, too...

She deflated, her shoulders sagging in defeat, and another tremor wracked her frame as she dropped her own gaze to the floor for the moment. “Abe...I-”

“I know.” he sighed, relaxing as he stepped up to draw her against his chest sympathetically. She almost didn’t react, until she felt his chin brush the top of her head and she realized what he was trying to do. Despite his attempt at the gesture being comforting, D’leah jerked herself away from him to growl warningly. “Dari nindz.”

He looked momentarily taken aback, holding his hands up amicably as he apologised. “I was just...I thought you needed-” “Nu sûa nindz zo ardira!” she snapped at him, but mercifully, turned away from the door and stalked further inside once more.

____________________________________________________

Sith translations, in order:

Snichi... - please...

Nu aki j’us. - I (romantic) love you.

Nunchi woiunoks, oi ai utja. - Sweet little one, it’s alright.

Dias dari j'us minti pa saû iki wisa qorit? - How do you think this will all end?

Dari nindz - Don’t.

Nu sûa nindz zo ardira! - I’m not a child!

#swtor #swtor fanfiction #hoooo the angst #tw: character death #swtor oc: d'leah ahaszaai #swtor ''oc'': abaron ahaszaai #sith pureblood #swtor oc: saarai ahaszaai #swtor oc: ni'kasi ahaszaai #the ahaszaai twins #by brief/honorable mention #i mean they're asleep but they're there skhskhskdn #i *do* have a much shorter oneshot that was basically just before this during the whole ''shit we gotta RUN'' phase #but from baby saarai's point of view #i just originally wrote it for zephyrverse lore so i will prob have to do some editing b4 i can post it too but maybe one day LMAO #and i do have an idea for a oneshot some fluffy mother-daughter bonding #that i might work on next once i've worked on some owed art stuff next week #as a counter-balance to this angst-hammer bc it really is one #i'm sorry #i got carried away lmao #i want u all to know that writing this hurt me just as much as it's prolly gonna hurt u to read ;-;#but at the same time i also...am v proud of it?? i like this one a lot o.o

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arheadbar · 4 years

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Football Player Dimitri! (A High School AU~)

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March 30, 2020

A/N: Day ???? of Quarantine: I’ve lost it. I’m writing another Dimitri x F!Reader fic because I have nothing else to do and I hate myself. How many of these am I going to write? I don’t know. Although, I think these are a lot of fun to write, so I guess it’s a win-win? I might stop writing smut for the time being since my first two one-shots have been nothing but smut so I might go for something a little more vanilla, and no smut at all. I’ve been tempted to make a high school/college au fic but I really don’t know if I’m up for writing about school, plus I’m not very good at world-building even if it’s something as simple as modernizing 3H’s world and characters OTL. I might give writing an actual AU a shot, but I rlly don’t know lol, I’m kinda just rambling at this point. This one is gonna be dedicated to my friend because prom got straight-up cancelled bc of COVID-19 and she’s kinda(really) salty. And I know this isn’t prom I just thought it’d be easier to incorporate athletic dimitri if it was hoco szn y’know? Anyway, enjoy this fluff! It was actually a lot of fun to write :’))

-xo Mika

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Categories: Fluff, High School AU, Romance

Word Count: 1,350

Your eyes roamed the large football field as you fought through the crowd to find your best friend. 27… 27… Where are you 27...? Your eyes lit up as you saw him making the run back with the ball, narrowly avoiding players from the opposing team. More of the opposing team was quickly gaining on him, but thankfully he was able to reach the goal before they got to him. You were already late to the game because of the stupid halftime preparations all because were nominated for the Senior-class homecoming court. You didn’t have too dress up too much, but you would rather look presentable when most of the student body went to these games. You only went to support your friends. Before you got to the game, Dimitri had texted you saying,

“Meet me at our usual spot, I wanna talk to you about something after the game.” The text filled your stomach with butterflies, but you tried to pay no mind to it as you continued to cheer with the rest of your friends. Your school’s team had switched to defense and the crowd began chanting, “Let’s go defense!” and you screamed until your lungs hurt. You heard someone call your name from the field and you were met with a wink from a sweaty Sylvain that was downing some water after a timeout had been called. Dimitri waved at you with a smile as he noticed Sylvain’s usual antics. The interaction only lasted a few seconds, and they were quick to put their helmets back on and disappear into the sea of players.

Before you knew it, halftime was already there, with your hair slightly disheveled despite the bandana you had it in, and the blue and white dots that you had put on hours ago was beginning to crack, but you looked fine otherwise. You stepped down the bleachers and towards the track while the cheer team’s blaring music went on in the background.

“Alright, Sylvain and Mercedes you two will be together in this car,” stated the ASB director as she frantically tried to organize the mess of teenagers and parents that stood before her.

“You and Dimitri will be in this car together,” she added as she guided you and Dimitri to the car behind your friends and she went on to organize the rest of the students that were nominated in their respective vehicles.

“Another thing, and I’m pretty sure this goes without saying, but please smile and wave or at least do something.” She groaned, and surely enough the other halftime performances had concluded, and you were up next.

You couldn’t help but stare at Dimitri in his uniform, his skin glistening with sweat in the Friday Night Lights, his blue eyes becoming a paler blue than they usually are as he smiled and waved at the crowd, his cheeks were flushed pink for obvious reasons and he was still trying to catch his breath, but you tried to avert your gaze and went back to smiling and waving at the adoring crowd. They announced your names in order of youngest class to oldest class, so obviously the four of you had been saved for last.

After that whole ordeal was done, you made your way back to the crowd, and the rest of the game went by with a blur. All you knew was that your team had won, and Dimitri was responsible for it. From what you heard, it became a rather close game, and when you stared up at the scoreboard, the team had barely managed a tie-breaker, and you were excited to congratulate your friend after you said your goodbyes with your friends in the crowd.

You made your way to your secret spot with Dimitri, but now that you think about it, it wasn’t all that secret since most of the school had dubbed it “Make-out Corner” because most couples would make their way there to eat each other’s faces off during school but at night when all the lights were out (because the school hadn’t bothered to replace them yet), it was dark, and the only thing you could really see was the shadowy figure of whoever you had brought with you. You and Dimitri had used this place on multiple occasions, whether it be just trying to find time to talk to each other or to just sit in the silence of the night together after a hectic day.

“There you are!” Said a familiar voice, and you couldn’t help but run up and hug him.

“Congratulations dumbass, you managed to carry our team again,” you teased as you punched his shoulder pads and he started to walk towards his car, which was conveniently parked in the spaces right next to the building.

“Oh, shut up, come on let’s get some food.” He replied and revved the engine of his car after he threw his gear in the trunk. This was your favorite kind of night; nobody but you, Dimitri, and whatever playlist he had in the background, but usually it was classic rock.

“Where are we going tonight?” You asked since the two of you usually ate in at the local burger-and-shake place, but this time he ordered take-out.

“You’ll see,” he replied, as he started making his way out of the city with a silly grin you could feel even as the two of you sat in the dark together with the only light sources being the streetlights that you drove by.

The drive wasn’t too long, and honestly, the view was worth it. It was a road on a hill that overlooked the city and all its twinkling lights, and it was just the two of you there…alone. You helped him lay out a blanket on the hood of his car as the two of you sat there with fry in one hand, milkshake in the other.

“So why are we in such a beautiful place in this deadbeat town?” You ask in between bites of your burger.

“Well… There’s something I wanted to tell you, and this was the only place I could think of that would help me.” He explained, having already inhaled all of his food while you were barely able to finish the last few bites.

“Wait right here.” He ordered while he rummaged around in the back of his car, and the butterflies in your stomach started acting up again. It was a few minutes before he returned, and the sight you had before you almost made your dinner come back up because of your stomach lurching at the sight of seeing him so sheepish around you.

Dimitri had managed to fix his hair that had been ruined by his helmet as he held a bouquet of what looked like blue roses in the pale moonlight as he approached you carefully.

“I know we’re going to homecoming together as friends…” He started, “But the more I thought about it, the more I realized my true feelings for you.” He took your hand carefully in his own and placed a gentle kiss on the back of it. You already knew where this was going, and you kind of wanted to slap yourself for not saying anything, but he continued, “I don’t want us to go to homecoming together just as friends anymore. I want you to be mine.”

You were speechless. You didn’t know how to respond, and your heart was beating right out of your chest. You looked at the flowers in your hand, and then back at the sheepish, innocent boy who had thought all this out just for you, all you could do was nod pull him into a hug.

“I love you.” He admitted as he placed a soft kiss on your forehead, and you pulled him by his jersey to return the kiss, but on his lips.

“I love you too, Dimitri.” You giggled, as the two of you sat on the hood of his car while you were in his arms as you watched the city glimmer in the distance.

#dimitri alexandre blaiddyd #high school au #fire emblem three houses #dimitri x reader #dimitri alexandre blaiddyd x f!reader #why am I doing this #fluff #one-shot #my writing #fire emblem: three houses

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marshmalleaux-draws · 5 years

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I never did post my self insert for My Hero Academia, did I? I was hoping to draw up a more complete and proper reference for her, but given that my mental and physical battery have been at about -37549% for the past 4 months or so, this is all I could manage to do. Still love to share as always, though~.

All her info under the cut (copied from a google doc I wrote not too long ago), cause I hate cluttering up people’s dash with super long posts.

Anyway, I hope you like her~ . ❄️

Name: Sierra Niall Nickname/s: Cici Hero name (?): Snowflake Quirk: Winter Warping Age: 23 Birthday: February 13 Zodiac Sign: Aquarius Blood type: ??? Height: 5'1" Weight: 118 lbs Likes: Marshmallows, lavender (the color, flower, and scent) Quirk and Abilities: Cici's quirk, Winter Warping, allows her to manipulate various aspects of winter, including ice, snow, and the temperature of the air around her. She mostly chooses to use her abilities defensively and for support rather than attack, but she does have a few offensive capabilities as well. Different ways she can use her quirk include: ❄️ Encasing herself in ice as a protective barrier, but this renders her immobile until the ice is broken, either by herself or by someone else. The ice can be close enough just to cover her body, or she can create a large block around her. ❄️ Coating certain parts of her body in ice, such as her hands or feet, so that when she punches or kicks, her attacks are reinforced. ❄️ Summoning spikes of ice to emerge from the ground, either as a barrier or an attack. ❄️ Creating snowflake shuriken (though this one often goes unused). ❄️ Healing open wounds (but not broken bones or internal injuries) using snow. She can do things like use her ice to keep a broken arm from moving, but she can't actually heal such an injury herself, just keep it under control until professional help is available. ❄️ Creating a heavy snowstorm in her immediate vicinity in order to cloak herself. She can see things outside the storm from within, but it's hard for others to see her in the blizzard. ❄️ Creating cushions of snow to break falls. ❄️ Crumbling solid ice into snow, and reforming snow into solid ice.

Drawbacks: ❄️ Since her quirk revolves around the cold, she is especially heat-sensitive. The hotter the air around her, the sleepier she becomes and the more brittle her ice becomes. Environments that are hot enough can cause her to fall asleep pretty much immediately, leaving her completely vulnerable. She also can’t use her own quirk to keep herself cool in those situations. ❄️ The strength of her abilities is tied to her emotions. Feelings of helplessness, sadness, fear, anxiety and the like cause her ice to become brittle, her snow less dense, and her healing less effective. Conversely, intense feelings of passion, contempt, determination and the like can strengthen her ice to near-unbreakable levels, and her healing far quicker and more effective.

Background: Cici has always been a girl of a kind, caring, and empathetic (albeit rather naive) disposition. She's intent on the idea of making sure all the people she meets are happy and safe, if it's within her power. Seeing others prosper is all she needs to feel content, and it goes to such an extent that she often fails to look out for herself. Even with her good intentions, however, she is plagued with severe anxiety and insecurity, which often keeps her from achieving many of the things she wants. In an attempt to combat this insecurity and fear, she enrolls in UA's hero course at the beginning of her high school years, hoping that being shoved outside her comfort zone will push her into being the best and most confident person she can be. While she's there, she meets and befriends Shouta Aizawa, who admires her willingness to push herself to be better. He still knows of her generally soft and sweet personality, and likes to tease her with the affectionate nickname "Snowflake." She takes a liking to him due to his constant (although not always immediately apparent) hardworking attitude, as well as his ability to be both blunt and honest, and understanding and gentle when needed. Unfortunately, not even a year in, her fear catches up to her, and she becomes overwhelmed by the sheer amount of conviction needed to be a hero that she clearly doesn't possess, even though she desperately wants to. Her insecurities get the better of her and, ashamed, she decides to drop out, opting to finish her high school education at a normal public school. She can't even bring herself to explain to Aizawa why she was leaving, and distances herself from him in fear of disappointing him. Years pass, and Cici has found herself a best friend (and later, roommate), Alia, who has done some hero work herself and also had went through UA’s hero course as a transfer student. Cici still isn't terribly confident in herself, but she still is happy to assist Alia in her work, opting to give herself an unofficial hero name as well - the name that her old friend gave her all those years ago, Snowflake. Cici and Alia learn of a reunion being held at their old school and decide to attend, and Cici is surprised to see Aizawa again. He immediately recognizes her, and his first thought after greeting her is to ask why she had disappeared all those years ago. Embarrassed, Cici confesses that she basically chickened out of the hero course, feeling that her own fear and lack of confidence far outweighed her ability to be a half-decent hero. After that, she felt so ashamed and afraid to disappoint Aizawa's expectations of her that she ceased contact with altogether. Aizawa is surprised, saying that she had just as much of a chance to do great things as anyone else, and reminds her of how he admired her desire to push herself to be better, just so she could help others be happy. Although still nervous, she's flattered and elated that he still thinks so highly of her, even though she didn't think enough of herself. It's a bittersweet reunion, but it doesn't end there - they start to reconnect, and in no time they're even closer than they were all those years ago. The two even decided to begin a romantic relationship and have been perfectly content since. These days, Cici still isn't confident enough in her own abilities to be a full-fledged hero, but she's found a happy middle ground of helping people the best way she feels she can - she decides to become a counselor for UA students, helping everyone that comes into her office with whatever troubles and concerns they may have. Her gentle and empathetic personality makes her easy to talk to for many of the students that come to see her, and nearly all of them leave feeling relieved and happy, which is all she wanted in the first place. Stats: Strength: 2/5 Speed: 2/5 Intelligence: 4/5 Technique: 3/5 Cooperativeness: 5/5 Trivia: ❄️ In the present day, she has become somewhat of an aunt to Shouto, since she's been best friends with his mother (in this AU), Alia, for many years. He's always happy to see his auntie and sometimes comes into her office just to take a breather from everyone.

❄️ She absolutely can not get enough of Deku. She would readily adopt him as her son if he didn't already have a pure and loving mother, and she spoils him and treats him better than probably any other student (aside from Shouto). More importantly, however, she actually looks up to him and is even jealous of him, because he's been able to do something that she's failed to do all of these years - he's constantly pushing himself further and further to be a better person and hero, no matter how scared or helpless he feels - and she has an immense amount of admiration and respect for him.

❄️ She understands why people see the potential in Bakugou, but she feels everyone beats around the bush too much and just wishes they would say it for what it is: yes, he's skilled, talented, and powerful, but he's an angry and insufferable prick who won't listen to anyone, ever, and that's pretty much the only thing keeping him from really being a great hero. She dreads seeing him come to her office for any reason whatsoever because he is just that incorrigible, and she enjoys getting back at him in subtle ways for being so pissy all the time (making the room colder when he visits, giving him a largely uncomfortable chair to sit on, etc.)

❄️ She has Tourette’s Syndrome (bc of course I gotta fucking shoehorn this in therekdhsjfk), albeit a rather mild case. Still, she worries that it might interfere with her quirk, since her insecurity and awareness of possible onlookers would certainly weaken the strength of her ice. She also worries that she’ll get mocked by the students or even other staff members (and sometimes is by a certain pissed off explosion boy), but that worry is generally subsided when the sweeter kids like Shouto and Deku are 100% understanding of it.

❄️ Sierra, similar her friend Alia, was an American exchange student. She moved to Japan for the express purpose of enrolling in UA, mixing her goals of heroism with her adoration for the culture and lifestyle of the country. Even after she dropped out, she still enjoyed her time there so much that she opted to continue living there and made it easier on herself by getting a place together with her friend.

❄️ She still goes by her English name, but I also wanted to stick with the theme of punny/fitting names for characters, so I gave her a Japanese alias as well: Seppen Shijinko. Her first name 雪片 (seppen) means “snowflake,” and her last name 詩人子 (shijin-ko) means “child of a poet.” ...Okay, really only the first name is punny/fitting, but her last name is one that I’ve been using for a long time that not only has its own background/story, but also ties in with her English surname (Niall), so that would take way too much explanation sdfgfdh.

#flat color #self insert #character reference #my hero academia #my art

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rkseungwoo · 5 years

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hello late intro is late, but we’re finally getting a start on things, whew. this is seungwoo, tl;dr former swimmer, literature student @ snu, helps coach an elementary level soccer team, and is literally taking life one day at a time now. i have his profile and background pages up, but please like this post if you’re interested in getting something pre-established/anything at all going and i’ll roll into ims. i’ll list some details + plot ideas below, lmk if anything stands out to you!

born 2 parents not ready 4 kids thus a few years after he’s born, taken 2 s.kor n handed off to be raised by grandparents, ultimately the best decision bc he grows up well loved

finds a passion for swimming n wants 2 pursue professionally, scouts have been waiting for him to finish high school so they can recruit, eventually becomes captain of swim team but bc of health stuff, ends up having 2 drop out of it all and then gives up on it all -- cause of much regret

luv for music comes from grandparents who taught him everything he knows -- violin & piano focus which he’s considering picking up again, otherwise atm goes 2 karaoke to sing sad songs 2 vent via music

helps out aunt who operates noodle stall at gwangjang market, basically would risk it all for family and it shows

after taking time off for physical therapy, student @ snu majoring in literature, basically reads random anything, tries 2 sound poetic with his wording and 9/10 times fails

falls in love way 2 easily its sickening

plot ideas!

give him childhood friend he grew up alongside and slowly they found themselves unable to separate

school mates that always run into e/o and has resigned to the idea that fate clearly wants them get close

his grandmother knows u somehow and thinks youre the most perfect person for seungwoo, bent on setting the two up and it’s so awkward but also grandmother doesn’t accept failure -- you two bear the consequences of that

let’s go exes that ended kinda messy and seungwoo pretends he’s not that affected by the ways things ended but spoiler alert: perhaps he’s still a little devastated

met in the hospital a few years ago when his shoulder started getting messed and from there you never lost contact, have established good r/s?? were there for him while he went thru shit and it was easier for him to open up (a LITTLE) since yall were virtually strangers but it built up a stable friendship from there

your sibling/cousin/someone is in the soccer team he coaches/is close friends w his young cousin, so you see e/o quite often... (???bonus????: said sibling/cousin/other thinks yall crushing or dating or smth n told the whole team that and even tho u say No, they dont believe it)

regulars @ his aunt’s stall so you can see him there time 2 time helping tend to the guests / do menial tasks, eventually u both decide to walk thru n try everything from the market slowly

fellow swimmers that were either in his high school team!!! or were his rivals until he disappeared one day and now u finally run into him in the street or smth and its time for answers

both of u had a rivalry going on except seungwoo thought it was all for fun / never took it srsly and he’s annoying for it

old ppl luv him.... he helps ur grandparents out w stuff and u fail to understand y he’s becoming a regular in ur household bc of it

you two were close as heck when seungwoo had his life together but slowly and surely he leaves remainders of his old life before when he finishes hs, you included, isnt that awkward!

there’s a couple discount viable somewhere and yall are desperate enough to go for it.... cue fake dating au for a couple hours (or it becomes a thing every time an event as such pops up, how fun)

like the lil sibling hes never had, showers w sm affection, is annoying abt it

he has adopted u... u are now his child

idk anything plz come @ me!!!

#post : ooc

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writingwitchly · 5 years

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A matter of… toe?

Can I ask for a oneshot with Sirius with the convo: B: You got a new lip balm? A: Yeah. It smells like strawberries too! Want to smell? B: Sure! *walks closer to kiss her/him* A: *just as B is few inches away* *pulls out the balm in front, making it cover B's nose* Please!! Love you😘 ~ @miss-nerd0905

Pairing: Sirius Black x reader

Word count: 4,1k

AU: Where the biggest concern sare late Xmas shopping and love. So no war, but still wizards.

A/N: I will not rant about my writing bc it’s Xmas… Vase Darling, I hope you like it!! I wanted this to be vv Christmassy for you!! tbh, I didn’t fully stick to the prompt (this might be veryyy different from what you expected), but the lip balm’s there lol. Have a jolly holiday!

***

Like every December 23rd, you type Lily’s number on the phone, and hum a jolly tune as the dial tone echoes in your ear.

Ever since you’ve moved on your own in London, going late Christmas shopping with your best friend has become a tradition. Together, you go from shop to shop, searching even the most unknown and hidden ones, to get the most perfect gifts for your friends. And, modestly, you nail every single one, to the point where everyone in your circle of Christmas guests call you the “jingle bell rocking team.”

You let your eyes wander on the gray sky outside through the window, and make a mental note of bringing your scarf along, right as a click announces that someone has picked up the call.

“Hello?”

You were going to scream at your friend in excitement to hurry up, but something in the voice that answered makes it… not hers. It’s deep and raucous.

“Lily?”

A crack, then a pause. Some air faintly blows in the mike, and you perceive that the phone must be moving.

“Y/N?” Now, you do recognize Lily’s voice. Although it still sounds off. And nasal.

“Lily!”

“Y/N…” A cough echoes in the background, so the owner of the other voice must still be in proximity.

“Um… Are you okay?” You risk the stupid question, dreading the obvious answer.

“Well,” She tries to laugh, but her lungs seem to resist the act. “Not really. I… James managed to pass me his flu, this year. But don’t worry, I’ll wear some additional coat and we’ll still go, I’ll be there in-”

Her boyfriend protests in the back, but is stopped by another wave of coughing.

An “oh” escapes your throat, longer than you wanted it. “It wouldn’t be wise to go shopping, if you’re in that state, Lils.” For a moment, she seems to hesitate, so you add, “We want to have you guys whole and in perfect shape for the Christmas Eve party.”

You hope your regret isn’t too evident in your tone.

“James wants to make it alive until then, he’s planned a little fly dressed all in red and whi-”

The raucous voice resounds in the background, clearly irritated, and Lily laughs again, “Seems like I’ve ruined the surprise. Don’t tell anyone,” She giggles again. “Um- Sorry to leave you alone on that.”

“Uh?” Imagining James flying, dressed as Santa Claus, has made you forget anything else for a couple of seconds. “Oh, you mean the shopping. Don’t worry,” You’re not sure the last two words sounded very convincing, but you still continue, “I’ll ask someone else to come. Maybe Dorcas.”

“Er- Her and Mary have choir rehearsal for the fundraising,” Lily reminds you.

The sky outside seems to become a little darker.

“Shoot. Remus then.”

“You know that today-”

“He works until late. And Marlene’s at her family’s until tomorrow.” You bite your lip, “Peter?”

“Is it grocery shopping you plan to do?”

Peter and his love for Christmas sweets… He’d stop you at every corner to get a new type of candy.

“Kingsley?”

But you erase that possibility on your own: he isn’t one to walk the whole day around looking for funny socks or the perfect make up set.

You sight in exasperation. This is why it’s always Lily and you who take care of the holiday shopping.

Half as a joke, half out of desperation, you suggest, “Dumbledore?”

There is a loud snort -- which sounded more like a snore -- surely from James, and then Lily mutters something that you can’t hear.

“Lily?”

Shuffling in the background.

“I- James says- He says that you should probably ask Sirius to come.”

“Sirius?” you repeat, not convinced to have heard right. You hope you haven’t.

You’re not 100% sure, but you heard James repeat his mate’s name at the same time as you, and in the exact same surprised tone.

After a second, the man’s laughter is muffled by Lily’s hand on the mike. She tells him something, and he answers back between two sneezes, but you can’t understand anything except for ‘-toe.’

“Toe?”

Lily’s voice comes back, “What?”

“Nothing,” you mutter, this time convinced that you have heard wrong. “So, you guys say, Sirius?”

No, no, no.

“Well, yeah. Usually, he can’t go because he takes care of James’ seasonal flu, but now I can do that…”

“Mmmm…”

“Call him, Y/N, he’s your last hope. I’ll manage to take care of my boyfriend and resist the urge to hex him.”

“Are you sure that Sirius is the right guy to give advice on Muggle shopping?”

And that I won’t make a fool of myself around him?

“I- Uh…” Lily stutters, and pauses a second to hear what James has to say. “Well, if you say so, Potter.” She focuses back on you, “James is positive about it, Y/N,” Which one? The shopping thing, or the fool thing? You’d like to be sure about the latter. “And- I left some soup on the stove, so- we don’t want the house burning down, do we. Gotta go!”

Is it you, or does her voice sound much healthier than before? “Wait, Lily-!”

“We’ll see you guys tomorrow!”

Before she hangs up, James’ voice reaches you, but very confusedly.

Again, did he say toe?

***

Getting Sirius to come shopping with you was easier than you thought. A call, and he apparated on the front step before you had a chance to put your boots on. Even keeping your composure in his presence is revealing itself quite easy, despite the fact that you’re alone with him for the first occasion in a very long time.

The tough stuff is making him follow you through Muggle London without losing him in the crowd.

“What about that?” you ask, eyeing a novel with a bright blue cover. It reads ‘In Love With an Idiot’, and Lily would absolutely wheeze only at the title. “Do you think that James would be offe- Sirius?” You shoot a glance behind your shoulder, only to discover that the man has disappeared again. “Oh, for Merlin’s sake.”

Struggling to hold the multiple packs under your arms, you move to the side of the pedestrian street, and climb on a bench, under the glare of an old lady. Feeling dizzy because of the bright passing scarves and hats, you lose one good minute in finding the mane of black locks that towers above the surrounding passerbys.

Completely obvious of the world around him, the boy’s observing the vitrine of a toy shop, whose sign’s colorful light reflects on his recently shaved cheeks.

“Sirius!” Your cry of frustration scares the glaring old lady away, but at least it’s successful in making your friend come back to reality.

Smirking, Sirius makes his way back to you, pushing people aside with the dozens of bags he carries, and attracting himself many dark looks.

“Afraid I’d leave you, Y/N?”

“No,” you sigh, wondering at what age Sirius has stopped growing up mentally, “Afraid to lose half of the gifts. What were you looking at?”

“Crazy how the Muggles manage to make things move without magic. There was a small train riding on its own!” His grin widens, and you have to tilt your head up to have a good sight of his childish expression.

Godric, he’s so tall. And so handsome.

Shut up, Y/N.

“But it looked quite unrealistic,” he continues, unaware of your internal dialogue, “There was no smoke.”

“It’s normal,” you say, “It works with batteries, a clever way of producing energy without-”

But Sirius craning his neck in direction of another shop stops you mid-sentence. It won’t be long until he goes off your sight again.

Merlin, he’s worse than Peter.

“No, Black, no such thing again. We’re almost done, I don’t plan on spending the night here.”

To prevent him from going away again, and prevent the lost of the dozen of bags he carries, you link an arm with his. And immediately feel your cheeks lighting up.

Thankfully, he looks away. And you badly hope it’s not because he saw you blushing.

“Nice weather,” he mutters, right as you say, “It’s freezing cold.”

Had it happened earlier, you would have laughed and argued, but now a strange tension seems to have fallen on the two of you.

“So er- those… baggeries,” he says hesitantly. “Do Muggles use them only for tiny trains or-”

You smile shyly, relieved by his clumsy attempt at building a conversation, but suddenly find yourself unable to explain anything about bagge- batteries. So you just correct his pronunciation and laugh the question away.

Something in the way Sirius looks and behaves has changed since your Hogwarts years. He is much more mature, and much less of a troublemaker. He hasn’t lost his mischievous sparkle, of course -- not even after death will he --, but he uses it more consciously.

The last time you two have been alone together before today was… three years and a half ago?

During the graduation party, you had found yourself sitting alongside the dance floor, immersed in nostalgic flashes of your school years, when Sirius had come to ask you for a dance. He saw it as only another moment of fun, but something clicked in your head when he grabbed you by the waist.

You saw memories of how you had started liking him in first year, how his sarcastic remarks were actually something you looked forward to get angry at everyday, how his lousy humor and deep sense of loyalty were his most attracting traits, how his hair falling on his eyes made you daydream.

You also saw the fact that you were about to step in the adults’ world, and maybe part ways.

So, drunk in melancholy and honeywine, you were about to tell him what you had hid for seven years in a row.

But, right at that moment, a group of girls passed by, eyeing him shamelessly and giggling like three-years-olds. It was already hard to swallow the fact that you were infatuated with the most popular guy in a range of ten kilometers, but when he asked you, in the middle of the song, if you’d mind if he invited one of them to dance, you lost your breath.

“Of course not,” you answered, surprising yourself at how easy the lie had come out of your mouth.

He had paused, looked at you for a second, and left you alone in the middle of the room to join the group of girls.

At that moment, lost in your feelings, you had seen through his: you were nothing more than a friend to him.

Some heavy darkness had engulfed you, and that had been the last time you’d accepted to be alone with him. Until today.

You have spent three years muffling your heart’s complaints under tons of good will, in the name of your friendship, and in respect for his opinion.

Caught in the worry of not being able to buy your friends their gifts, you did not think twice about it, earlier, but now…

It seems dangerous to walk next to him.

Around you, the street is getting busier of other people who, like you, have opted for a last-minute gift-search. Fake Santas shake their bells, making teens giggle, and women with babies look in adoration at them. A couple of parents hold their children by the hand, dragging them toward a house shop, while the kids clearly feel like stopping in front of a cozy bar. There is a Frank Sinatra song playing somewhere near the place at the end of the way, and the crispy notes of his deep voice fill every corner of the jolly atmosphere.

A draught of winter air caresses your face, making you shiver.

“About time to go, don’t you think?” you suggests, tightening the scarf around your neck.

“Well- De we have everything we need?” Sirius hesitates, so you start recounting the bags,

“We’ve got Marlene’s sweater, Alice’s scented candles, Kingsley’s sock set-”

“A complete,” Sirius interrupts you “collection of Queen’s best hits for James - that sucker better repay me later, this costed like one of my eyes - a maxi sized pot of skittles for Dumbledore, a horrible pair of socks for Frank, and some catnip for Minnie. Remus’-”

“Catnip?” you raise an eyebrow. “Oh please, don’t tell me you’ve-”

“No, I haven’t left the tea behind, we have that too. I just thought it’d be nice to add some catnip,” he finishes, with a big grin stamped across his face, and you roll your eyes.

“I checked everything on the list that Lily and I have made, so we have everything. I think we can stop.”

“Are you sure?” Sirius asks, and you think you discern some deception in his words. Is it really possible that-

But your running imagination must be tricking you.

“Quite sure, I-” You slap a hand on your forehead, attracting a curious look from a seven-years-old passing by. “I was forgetting, as always!” you claim, “We’re not done yet.”

Sirius eyes you, and you see a reflection of the little boy’s expression on his face. And maybe a brighter twinkle in his stare.

“We were forgetting about our own gifts,” you explain, to which he breaks into a snort.

“What’s the plan, then? We choose our gift, and we’ll act as if it’s a surprise on Eve’s dinner?” he asks.

You shake your head. “You choose something for me, I’ll pick something for you. No right to show the other, so-” You realize what you’re going to say, and regret it a bit. “So- It’s better if we part ways now, anyway. I have- I have to meet Mary and Dorcas for a trip to the library,” you say, raising your stare from the floor to look at him straight in the eyes.

Sirius’ lips purse in a thin line, and he nods in understanding.

You slow your pace down, and come to a halt. After a second of uncomfortable pause, you unlink your arm from his, and, for a moment, you face each other, unsure of how to say goodbye.

“See you tomorrow, then,” Sirius half-heartedly says.

“Yeah,” you respond.

The crazy thought of a hug crosses your mind, but you turn on your heels before giving in to the temptation.

You’re already a good fifteen meters away, when his voice flies to you, “It was a nice shopping session, Y/N! Thank you!”

You swing around, and smile before the crowd swallows him.

***

“You tricked me.”

Zipping her golden top, Lily doesn’t deign you of a look. “I don’t see what you’re talking about, darling.”

“Spare me your terrible lying capacity, Lily. Just- Let’s set aside the fact that you’ve broken our tradition, and that I felt treasoned, but-” You run a hand on your face, looking for proper words to make you sound less lame than what you are. “You know that it’s hard for me to be in the same room as him, and you made it more awkward by setting this up.”

“I didn’t s-”

“Oh come on!” you cry, frustrated. “He was ready when I called! And you do sound like you healed very quickly.”

The decorations on the walls and the snow falling outside make Lily and James’ living room look like a gigantic snowball.

“I- Ok, I’m not as sick as I was yesterday morning, but… I th-”

“You have no right to play the matchmaker, Lily... You know very well how much I struggled to make the pain go away!”

“The both of your are so much more mature recently.”

“So? I can’t make him fancy me, if he doesn’t want to! No matter if he gets as mature as Remus.”

“You’re so stubborn, Y/N! If you don’t try, you’ll never get anything!”

From the doorframe, James chuckles, “Take me as an example: I managed to date my fierce redhead after seven years of-”

“James!” you both scream, and the man raises his hands in defence, going back to drinking his medicinal tea. He can barely stand up, wrapped in the tons of coverts that are supposed to protect his fragile health from yet another cold, but he wouldn’t miss your discussion if he got paid for it: you get better than his favorite telenovellas, when you’re in that mood.

“If you ever tell him any of this-” you look at him, menacing.

With his mouth full of the infusion, James mimics somebody promising, and then walks out of the room, in look of a more peaceful environment. He does that every time he senses the storm going toward him.

“All I want is you to be happy, Y/N. I swear you need to be blind not to notice that Sirius likes you.”

“I’m- Please, don’t make it harder, Lily. I appreciate your encouragements, but I worked hard on making these feelings disappear, and-”

“We both know you still like him, Y/N. How many times will I have to tell you.” She rolls her eyes. “I am going to get you two together before this New Year, or I’ll rename myself Gertrudis. And you can’t change my mind.”

With nothing to answer to that, you sigh, only waiting for the moment when you’ll get to call your best friend Gertrudis.

***

“Nothing better than a sweet gathering with friends for Christmas,” Remus says as he pops the bottle of honeywine open. Behind him, the fire cracks in the chimney.

From across the living room, Frank, his arm around Alice’s shoulders, laughs, “You say that every year, Rems.”

Kingsley comes in the scarred boy’s defence, “It’s worth repeating, Longbottom. Anyway, I’d rather hear Remus say it a thousand more times than to have to listen to James’ drunk jokes at the end of the meal.”

The mentioned boy fakes a pout, and Sirius, who’s lying on the floor at his feet, plays with a red cap, that will be useless this year: Flying Santa Potter Show has been moved to next year, because of ‘health issues’, to Peter’s great regret.

“I wonder how you’re still sneezing enough to make that whole building fall down, James, while Lily’s wearing a mini skirt.” The bitterness in your voice can only be understood by James, and by his girlfriend. “From how she sounded on the phone yesterday, she was about to die.”

At those words, Lily gets out of the kitchen, followed by Dorcas, and shoots you a smile, “Onion soup does miracles on me,” she winks, and turns toward the man spread on the carpet, “Sirius, please be a sweetheart, and give Y/N a hand to bring the rest of the starters on the table.”

And here we go again.

Noticing your annoyed groan, Marlene slightly smiles.

“I hope the floor’s clean,” she murmurs to Lily, “Because I have that feeling that we’ll have to pick the starters up from the tiles. What did you do to piss her off?”

“Just wait,” the redhead whispers back, “And you’ll see.”

***

In the background, Celestina Warbeck threatens to drown you all in a cauldron full of hot love.

Sirius is handing you some plastic plates, on which you lay tiny canapes. The only reason that prevents you from dropping them on the floor in vengeance is their very appetizing look. And the fact that you’ve spent hours dressing them.

The soft buzzing of conversation coming from the living room warms your heart: having friends like yours is the highlight of your life. Ruining the mood by confronting romantical feelings to just friendship would be… awfully wrong.

“Any plans for New Year’s Eve, Y/N?”

“Uh?”

Sirius smiles at you from the other side of the table, a plate full of mini croissants in each hand. “Do you have plans for New Year’s Eve?”

You tilt your head. “Just- our usual gathering. Why?”

The man shrugs. “Maybe you wanted to do something different, I don’t know.” And he grins again. “You tell me, if you want some change, okay?”

“Sure.”

Perplex because of his strange request, you come back in the core room of the party a little distracted, sensing that something is weird.

You scan your friends’ faces, but don’t notice anything out of place, so give up your strange presentment.

***

Soon, it’s time to unwrap.

As everyone discovers their gifts -- and shares drunk jokes, much to Kingsley’s dismay -- you step in a corner, holding a pink package in the palm of your hand. The ribbon itself is bigger than the box.

“What is it?” Sirius’ sudden presence behind your back makes you start.

“What do you mean, what is it?” From the corner of your eye, you notice Lily staring at you, and then whispering something in James’ ear. “Didn’t you buy it?”

The man scratches his neck. “I’m not the best at choosing Muggle gifts, let along for a girl. So I asked the salesgirl to give me the cutest item she had and-” He points to the half-unwrapped box in your hands. “I’m about to discover what it is at the same time as you.”

His breath on your neck makes your fingers tremble, but you rip the remnants of colorful paper off the present, and reveal a-

“Lip balm?” you ask, surprised.

Sirius only nods, with half a smile. “Looks like it.”

Carefully, you extract the round container from the wrapping, grinning at how cute it is, indeed. You delicately brush a finger on the surface, and press it to your lips.

“Mmm… It smells like strawberries!”

“Really?” Sirius casually steps closer to you.

“Uh- Want to smell?” you ask, trying to remain composed.

“Sure!”

You were about to pass him the container. You were about to.

But, under your unbelieving stare, Sirius leans forward, until he’s only inches apart from your mouth, and closes his eyes.

A little lamp lights up in your head: that something that was wrong when you exited the kitchen, James’ repeated mention of a ‘toe’ during yesterday’s call… Right above your head, you see it.

It happens all so fast, that you can barely register your own movements.

***

“You what?”

Lily, shivering in her skirt, is gaping at you. She ran after you as soon as you left the apartment in a hurry, and managed to catch you right as you were exiting the building.

“I panicked” You cry, still shocked yourself, and starting to feel like the dumbest person ever, ever, ever.

Your best friend blinks very slowly. “You- Are you doing this to make me lose the bet? Because that’s the only explanation I will accept, Y/N!”

The scene repeats itself endlessly in your mind as the snowflakes sprinkle your hair. Sirius, centimeters away from your lips. The balm suddenly put in front of him, covering his nose. His surprised look. Your run away.

“I don’t know, I-”

“You don’t know?” Her eyes clearly say ‘I’m about to kill you if you don’t give me a good reason for leaving the perfect romantical scene out of the blue’.

“Listen! If I wasn’t sure that he now thinks I’m the most idiotic fool in this world, I’d run back upstairs and kiss him right where I left him!” you scream.

You hope that none of the neighbors had planned to go to bed early.

“Glad you would-” A voice comes from an open window, three floors above. A pair of large glasses is looking down at you, surrounded by all your friend’s faces.

“James! Fucking get inside, don’t make your flu even worse!” shouts Lily.

“- because,” her boyfriend ignores her, “I doubt he’d be happy to have ran down the stairs for nothing!”

Right as he finishes his sentence, the building’s door opens, and lets out a very confused Sirius. Quickly, Lily disappears inside.

The world stops spinning, and you lose the capacity to breathe. Your knees threaten to give up under the weight of the tension that installs itself on your shoulders.

Merlin, if I could die right on the spot.

“I’m sorry if I-” Sirius takes a step forward, but stops right away, and lowers his head. “It was stupid of me, I’m very sorry.”

Seemingly unable to distinguish between what happens in your head, and what you’re actually doing in this moment, you walk toward him.

“What do you mean, you’re sorry?” The temperature of your cheeks climbs up vertiginously, and it costs you an incredible effort to articulate. “I’m the one who ran away.”

And you’re standing in front of him, close enough to see the grey of his eyes reflecting the streetlamp light.

“I like you a lot, you know.” His soft whisper knocks the air out of you. “I think I’ve liked you since Hogwarts, but I was too busy being a jerk to notice it.”

Before the moment has a chance to vanish, like a dream, you reach for his lips with yours, standing on your tiptoes.

As Sirius wraps his arms around your waist and deepens the kiss, you can hear the dance of the snowflakes, chorusing with the beating of your hearts. Your breaths become the same mist, and your bodies tell the same story. The story of two young people in love.

Above your heads, a green branch has been fixed with some tape from a windowsill of the third floor, and is gently being hugged by the breeze.

“Look at those two,” Winter seems to whisper, “Finally kissing under the mistletoe.”

***

Permanent tag list: @miss-nerd0905 @funnymrspotter @daytodayfun @electraheart-isdead @laurenslines @rochelle-the-ravenclaw @wildfire-whizbangs @beaubcxton @reggieblck

Sirius tag list: @glitteryfreakslimeegg @janhvi11

#sirius blacksirius x reader #sirius black fanfiction #sirius black fanfic #sirius black x reader #hp fic #reader insert #marauders #***writingr #VAN. THIS IS ALSO A LIL FOR YOU... THE MISTLETOE MOST OF ALL #can y'all believe i'm even posting this mess #scheduled #kill me bc of that title

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nightfayre · 5 years

Note

hi im the anon ! i dont remember what i said >

and I’m alarmed by the fandom mentality. Maybe HT means good - but how would we know? we don’t have access to his thoughts - but we must judge his actions, and his actions are for the least very troubling. It’s always abt coercing Mo and not respecting his boundaries. I see the trope “when she says no, she means yes” here and once again, the fact the fandom swallows it uncritically (bc HT is a poor, hot tortured boy) is alarming. Forcing Mo to wear his gift stinks of “this is my possession, don’t mess wt him” 2/5

Maybe im pessimistic n its actually to protect him by distance, but once again he totally disregards Mo’s will. What if he doesnt want to be protected ? what if he doesnt want to be an object to be pass around between self-entitled psychos ? The first step to protect and help someone is by listening to them. I hope Mo will react strongly and will tell HT that by saying this, he’s no different from She Li. And i hope that would provoke HT to self-reflect a lot - smth he lacks tremendously. 3/5

That being said i love HT and tianshan! And what i love is how realistic and flawed they are. Theyre both hyper violent, distrustful, and severly lacking in communication skills. Im thrilled to see how theyre going to evolve -for the better or the worse, both is good for me. But i’m very disappointed by the fandom reaction like “ooh how cute hes possessive it means love!” or “actually its not bad doing HT doing that bc his intentions are good”. 4/5

And I will be vry, vry disappointed if OX decides to follow this trend and to not show how this kind of actions is detrimental to their reliationship and use the tired and dangerous trope of “being violent means that you care”. I trust them to be more nuanced than that bc until now they are great at drawing grey relationship. So yea i hope next chapter, tianshan plunges (before being better). Anw sry for the rant, and plz continue the good work !! 5/5

phew. there’s a lot to unpack here – but I agree wholeheartedly with you. since this post is already kinda long, I will put my answer/explanation under the cut!

the parts that I bolded in your asks are what I intend to focus on in this answer. strap in, because this is going to be a long one.

before anything, let me put a disclaimer: I love He Tian. I love Guan Shan. I love Old Xian. I love tianshan, and I love where they are headed in the manhua. does that mean I also love where tianshan are right now? no, it doesn’t. and I’m here to explain why I look forward to their potential rather than their current relationship’s dynamics.

one of the hardest parts about being in a fandom is being able to separate fiction, reality, and morality. this is especially hard when a fandom is as old and endearing as 19 Days, and when you fall in love with & are rooting for all the characters. furthermore, 19 Days is not a tragedy. of course, when Jian Yi disappears, it will be tragic. but otherwise the majority of the manhua is a comical, romantic slice-of-life plot. as such, it’s easier for what would usually be seen as blaring issues/problems in tragedies to be disregarded for comedy or, in some cases, romance in a comedic, romantic slice-of-life.

this is exactly the case with tianshan. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: He Tian’s current relationship with Guan Shan is not healthy. he doesn’t listen to Guan Shan. he doesn’t respect his personal space. he doesn’t know where to draw the line. he doesn’t know how to properly communicate with him, and thus resorts to violence or threats. tianshan just have a problem with communication. and, sure, maybe it can be chalked up to the fact that they’re young and stressed and don’t know any better. but that excuse is almost as bad as the “boys will be boys” excuse, and that doesn’t make it any better nor does it justify their actions.

He Tian’s idea of relationships is so twisted, and as I talked about in a previous answer, it can probably be stemmed back to his trauma with the puppy Cheng took away from him. I won’t get too deep into that since I explained it in detail in that answer, but keep this in mind nonetheless: He Tian grew up in a family of violence, distance, miscommunication, and lies. it’s all he’s ever known, and that’s what he’s applying to his relationship with Guan Shan. does that make it right? no, absolutely not. but he’s learning.

when Guan Shan had a panic attack at the restaurant, He Tian learned that people aren’t robots/pawns to use at his disposal and rather have their own strong emotions/backgrounds that shape them. thus, he brought Guan Shan home without a word. when he had his night terror and woke up to Guan Shan holding his hands, He Tian realized that there are parts of Guan Shan he still doesn’t know and, potentially, an aspect of their relationship that they’ve only started to uncover. thus, he thanked him without preamble and with a bowed head.

what I’m trying to say is that He Tian does have good intentions at times, but not always. he’s learning as he goes, because god knows he didn’t have a family to teach him how healthy relationships should be. there probably is a part of He Tian that only wants to protect Guan Shan against She Li, but he certainly doesn’t show it in the right way. he acts possessive because he knows that if he doesn’t, he’ll lose what he loves (*insert flashback to the puppy*). again, does that make it right? hell no. jealousy and possessiveness are not cute and are entirely unhealthy in a relationship. the fandom should view them as such, but should also keep an open mind when considering He Tian’s background.

and honestly, the reason why I’m focusing so much on He Tian right now rather than Guan Shan is because if it were up to Guan Shan, he would’ve dropped He Tian within the first few days (maybe even hours) of meeting him. but because of He Tian’s persistence, Guan Shan has no choice but to be involved with him and retaliate when He Tian verbally/physically/emotionally attacks him. nonetheless, Guan Shan has tried to walk away from He Tian on multiple occasions when He Tian’s teasing became too much, and on those occasions, He Tian has given in. (ex. I can’t find the exact chapter, but there is a chapter in which Guan Shan refuses to use He Tian’s fork to eat He Tian’s leftovers, and he gets up and says, “I’m going home,” to which He Tian replies, “Fine, fine, I’ll buy you new food.”)

so yes – tianshan certainly have flaws. He Tian holds too much power, and Guan Shan can’t catch a break. the fandom romanticizes their interactions, but if you take a moment to think realistically and recognize that character flaws are essentially bad but also critical for character development, then there is an even balance in the readers’ relationship with the manhua. don’t support He Tian’s violent interactions with Guan Shan and claim “omg He Tian loves Guan Shan sooooo much when he forces Guan Shan to do XYZ,” but rather support the fact that he hasn’t physically manhandled/harmed Guan Shan in many chapters. support and celebrate He Tian’s development, not his flaws.

and as for what you said about Guan Shan telling He Tian that he’s “no better than She Li”? while I don’t think He Tian is truly as bad as She Li, I actually think that would be a painful, great, and pivotal moment in their relationship. after all, the most consequential scene in tianshan’s relationship thus far has been the kiss. at that moment, Guan Shan had told He Tian outright that he disgusted him and to leave him alone. since then, I don’t think He Tian has ever looked so… taken aback. unsettled.

and guess what? their relationship has only gotten better since then, and He Tian hasn’t touched him like that again.

I don’t know, anon. it’s a tough call. I think tianshan have a lot more chapters ahead of them, and I don’t think Old Xian will allow them to end on bad terms. actually, I don’t think Old Xian will allow them to end on the terms that they’re on right now. they can only improve from here on out, but how Old Xian will go about showing that improvement is unknown to us. there are many paths this story can take, but rather than worrying about what might happen, let’s focus on the here and now. let’s focus on the problems at hand, and let’s focus on the development the characters are undergoing.

don’t ignore the wrongness/cruelty of characters’ actions, but don’t romanticize them either. if you do, you’re only doing a disservice to the character’s personality, existence, and the author’s intentions.

(and as for this newest chapter specifically: I see why people can get excited about He Tian telling Guan Shan to wear the earrings. He Tian wants to verify to both himself and She Li that Guan Shan is with him now. that Guan Shan is no longer under She Li’s control. who doesn’t love a little verification of their OTP’s relationship, especially when it involves an enemy?

but at the same time, it’s unhealthy. Guan Shan doesn’t have a say. he’s being handed around like an object. I don’t think this is pessimistic thinking; I think it’s the truth that no one wants to acknowledge/hear. but I’m not saying that tianshan is wrong in this chapter; I’m saying that He Tian has good intentions, but he’s not showing them correctly. and there will be a chapter in which he does show them correctly, but we must travel this rocky road before we get to that point. patience is key, and I cannot wait until He Tian and Guan Shan reach that moment of clarity. you can’t have light without the dark.)

#19 days #tianshan #mailbox #anon

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hyukmark · 6 years

Text

Piano Sonata - (1/2)

Genre: angst & fluff

Pairing: female reader x Huang Renjun

Words: 3.4k

Warning: none

A/N: I’m sorry this took so long but I am usually working on mobile and there are much more limits than on desktop so yeahh THERE’S A SECOND PART WITH MUCH MORE FLUFF!!!!!! -KP! Enjoy reading!

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Music app. Playlist. Shuffle. ... Piano Sonata. A smile made its way onto your lips after hearing the first tunes. You’ve missed it a lot. The classical music immediately brought out all the emotions hidden deep inside you. You closed your eyes and focused on the music. Since a young teenager you loved hearing the instruments so raw. Especially the piano. The harmony of every note, it was mesmerizing. The emotions that sprung with every second, the imaginary place that appeared in your mind, everything about it brought peace and chaos at the same time.

So for the rest of the morning you only played “Piano Sonata” by Beethoven while having breakfast and then later while cleaning the apartment a little bit.

You sat down with a huff after finishing cleaning, the beautiful piece still playing in the background which gave you the idea to go to a classical concert again soon. You opened your laptop, hands a little sweaty with excitement and started looking for some tickets. “Two or one? Hmmm” You mumbled to yourself and decided to get two tickets. After all it’s always more fun to go to a concert with company. After the tickets were bought, you stared jumping around like a child. Right then it hit you that you have to find someone that would enjoy accompanying you to the concert. Of course your first choice was one of the boys so you quickly made your way over to the dorms after texting Taeyong that you were on your way. ~ “Hello sweetheart!” Taeyong greeted you at the door with a hug after opening the door. You took your coat and shoes off and put your bag next to the body length mirror and then made your way to the living room where the noises were coming from. The tv was on and half of the NCT members where spread out on the sofas and the other half were probably in their rooms. You greeted all of them and were about to sit down on the sofa when Yukhei pulled you on to his lap which made you giggle. It was nothing unusual for you to sit on any of their laps. You knew each other for a few years now and were really close. You were really happy about having close friends like them and being able to be this comfortable with each other made you feel safe. “What got you all so smiley, girly?” Ten asked wiggling his eyebrows which brought you out of your thoughts and made you smile even more. Now all their eyes were directed at you, even Yukhei who moved you so he could see your face. “Well I got two tickets for an upcoming Beethoven concert!” You beamed and they giggled about your excitement. “That’s why I’m here actually. I bought two tickets for the concert because it’s always more fun to go with company and I wanted to ask if any of you would like to go with me? But I don’t want you guys to think you have to or anything! I want you to enjoy the concert too” you asked with your voice getting smaller towards the end of the sentence. “When is the concert?” “It’s in two weeks, on a Friday” You answered hopefully. “Ouw, Y/n well NCT127 will be in Japan next week and we will be there for a while but I would’ve loved to join you”, Sicheng said with a sad smile but you nodded understandingly. “Well I’m not really into classic music but if you don’t find anyone that will enjoy it I don’t really mind coming with you”, Yukhei said sweetly. “It’s ok! I don’t want you to come and be bored for so long”, you said and saw how he was actually glad. “Why don’t you ask the dreamies? They should be upstairs in Jaemin’s room probably gaming” Taeyong suggests which made you nod and go up to the room. Loud noises were coming from the room so you knocked on the door and suddenly it was quiet. After a little ‘yes’ you opened the door and peeked my head in and all the dreamies started being noisy again. “AHHHH NOONA WHEN DID YOU GET HERE?!!!!” Haechan screamed and stood up from his spot and pulled you into a tight hug which made you laugh. After everyone greeted you, you made yourself comfortable on the bed next to Jaemin and Renjun, who was on the other side of Jaemin. You watched the others play a video game together and cheered for the boys while laughing. Jisung won the round and started doing his victory dance while Mark was sulking. You all laughed and cheered for Jisung and also comforted Mark a little. And before another round started you sat up a little to talk with them about why you joined them today. “Ok guys I actually came here to ask something” all their eyes were on you again. “I know Haechan and Mark can’t because of their schedules but there’s this Beethoven concert in two weeks and I have two tickets for it and I need someone accompanying me because it’s always more fun with company so I was wondering if one of you would be interested” you said and waited for their answers when Jaemin started talking. “Well Renjun actually likes classic music so, Renjun?” we all looked towards Renjun who got a little flustered after being the center of attention suddenly. “I mean yes of course I do and I would love to accompany you, noona. It’s just I never went to one so I don’t know if I would be a good choice” he said shyly which made you smile. “It’s ok! There’s always a first time! I wouldn’t mind as long as you want to!” You said cheerful. “Ok in that case I would love to!” he said with a sweet smile that reached his eyes. ~ You got ready to sleep after arriving home when you got a text from Renjun. Renjunnie: Hey noona! I was thinking about the concert and what would be a proper outfit? Y/n: hey bubs! A tux would do the work! Renjunnie: Oh okay that sounds good! What will you be wearing if you don’t mind me asking🏻‍♂️ Y/n: of course I don’t mind! I will get a dress but I have no idea what I will get🤧 Renjunnie: ohh ok nice! Renjunnie: I need a tux so if you want we can maybe go shopping together, noona! Y/n: Gsjzhdjs that’d be great! But don’t you have a tux? Don’t get me wrong I love the idea of going to shop with you but don’t you have like lots of tuxes bc of the music shows? Renjunnie: oh no we don’t get to keep those tuxedos/suits! And bc I never needed one outside of the award shows I don’t have one😬 Y/n: ahhh ok! Then I’m really happy that you’ll get your first tux with me!!!! Y/n: okay then when do you think we can meet? Renjunnie: my schedule is pretty free lately so I’m not really busy! Would this Friday work for you? Y/n: yes! Sounds perfect! If you want we can get lunch first and make our way downtown after? Renjunnie: Sounds good to me, noona! Y/n: I’m looking forward to Friday then! I will be going to sleep now! I’m really sleepy. Y/n: so good night junnie! Renjunnie: same here! Night, noona You smiled at his text, he was always so sweet and caring something that made your heart feel warm. You started looking even more forward to Friday and to the concert! You fell asleep into a deep sleep with the concert and a brown eyed, smiley boy on your mind. ~ “Thank you for the meal, noona!” Renjun said while patting his tummy with a satisfied smile decorating his lips. “Of course, junnie! Nothing to thank for! I’m glad you enjoyed it!” You said with a smile on your lips too. You left the diner satisfied with your meal and went to your car. You started the car with downtown as your destination. The car ride there was really nice. The radio was on so you both jammed to the songs that were played and also talked about the color of the dress you were gonna get. You also decided to go to the mall that was downtown instead of walking around between streets. You parked you car into an empty space, close to the entrance and made our way inside. At the info table you looked where the stores are that sell a little more fancy clothing and after taking a pic of the table you started walking towards the escalator up to first floor. Renjun’s tux was definitely going to be easier to find because he wanted something simple so the men store was your first destination. “I think I want a plain black one” Renjun said while looking at himself in the mirror. He had a black tux on with thin grey stripes. He of course looked handsome in the tux but you still agreed with him. He looked at you and asked me what you were thinking, you nodded and told him that you agree with his decision. So he disappeared behind the changing room curtains and started changing into the other tux. Your heart skipped a beat after he left the changing room. “Yes, I think this one looks better. Do you think the size is right?” “I-I agree this one fits you better and the size looks good to me but if you don’t feel comfortable with something then you have to decide for yourself..” Renjun looked a little longer in the mirror and then nodded to himself. “No this one’s fine. I’m taking this one. But I also need some shoes” Renjun said and signed to people working in the store. After 20 min he found a pair of shoes that he liked and fit with his tux. You both were excited about the purchase so your smiles didn’t leave your faces. “Thank you for your honest opinion, noona. If I would’ve went to get a tux with one of the guys I would’ve been in here for another three hours and would’ve ended up not buying a tux” he said and made you both laugh. “Did you decide on the color you’re going to wear?” “Noppe. Not really I think I’ll just see what I find and choose something that I like” you said honestly and he nodded sweetly which made you smile. His caring, sweet nature made you always feel at ease, so it was confusing for you why your brands were sweaty. You always enjoyed hanging out with him, it was peaceful and fun but now it was also exiting. You checked your phone again for the store you wanted to go for the dress and after figuring out where it was, you again made your ways to the escalators. “Oh this dress looks really cute. What do you think, noona?” “It really is cute, Junnie but purple isn’t my color. I look weird in it” Renjun nodded understandingly and started looking for other dresses again. ~ “I think I will go try the dresses on now. I don’t think we have to look further. I have a good feeling with the dark green one” you said after another 30 min of looking for dresses. Renjun again nodded and followed you to the changing rooms and sat down on the comfy chair. You tried on the different dresses and Renjun told you honestly what he thought about them. He was really sweet about it but still honest. What you didn’t get to see was how he fanned his face with his face because of the blush that formed on his cheeks. At the end you couldn’t decide between the dark green dress and the red one. “Oh I got it, noona! You look great in both so you can get both of them!” Renjun said excited which made you laugh and blush at his compliment. “I still have to decide which one I’ll wear to the concert so even if I bought both I would need to choose. So I will only get one, I don’t need two dresses anyway. I don’t attend too many fancy events” you said and he nodded again diving into thoughts. “Ok if you can’t decide, noona and if you don’t mind I’ll just choose one. And I think you should go for the green one” he said and you smiled at him for making the decision. You quickly went to buy the dress. “Let’s get something to drink. My legs are exhausted and I’m thirsty” you said while leaving the store. ~ You stopped the car right before the dorms and turned towards Renjun who was already looking at you. “I had a really nice day, Junnie. Thank you for your help with the dresses. I’m looking really forward to wearing it to the concert” you said a smile not leaving your lips. “Same here, noona. Thank you for the meal and also for your help with the tux. I can’t wait to go to the concert either. We should definitely do something like today again” he said with shiny eyes, your eyes wandered to his lips for a second before you looked up at him with red cheeks and nodded to his offer. You shared a quick hug and then he left the car with his shopping bag. Huang Renjun was sweet, caring, cute, lovely and at the same time he was smart, sassy, and funny. You realized how much Renjun actually grew today. You realized how much taller he was when you hugged him, you realized his shoulders were broader which looked great in his black tux, you realized that his voice was much deeper when he said your name, you realized how his eyes lost a little of innocence which made him look more mature. You realized how this was the second night you were falling asleep with the thought of the brown eyed, smiley boy. ~ Over the next week you met up with the dreamies minus Hyuk and Mark bc they were promoting in Japan just like they planned, it was going well. The dreamies and you watched the stages and cheered for them from the screen and cheered also later when you were calling them. Then the week of the concert came and you got busy. Most of your ‘free’ time was spend on the assignments from uni and also the extra shifts you had at the café. From the little phone calls and texts you knew that the dreamies were enjoying their time which made you happy. On Thursday night you tried finishing all your assignments so you could enjoy the concert without worrying about work even if you had time over the weekend. ~ It was finally Friday, you didn’t have any classes today but you had to work at the café until 5pm. The concert was going to start at 7:30pm which meant that you have to go home, get ready, meet Renjun at 7pm in front of the concert building and all of that in 2h. It was a challenge. With the concert in your mind you worked through the day. You gained motivation and energy just thinking about tonight so you kept on smiling to the customers. “Hey Y/n! I’ll start my shift rn! Have fun tonight!!!” my coworker, Yuri, said which made you smile and after nodding at him you went to change. ~ After arriving home you immediately jumped into the shower. You decided to put your hair up in a neat bun with a few strands hanging down next to your cheeks. Your make up was simple besides your heavy eyes makeup. The eyeshadow matched with your dark green dress. The outfit was finished after you put on your black pumps, black clutch and a golden earrings, necklace and bracelet set of accessories. Looking in the mirror at the entrance, you liked seeing the simple but fancy outfit on yourself. Without properly realizing you imagined Renjun in his tux with his hair styled neatly standing next to you. How would it be to get ready together and leave your place with your hands intertwined. When you realized what you were thinking you immediately shook your head as if the thoughts would leave. A quick look at the time made you leave your place with fast steps towards your car. There was a slight traffic but you still made it to the building a few minutes before seven. You were standing near the entrance when you started feeling how cold the weather actually was. A shiver run down your spine. “Excuse me, Miss, don’t you want to go inside?” the security guard near the entrance said. “Oh, I’m waiting for someone” you said with a thankful smile on your colored lips. “It’s none of my business but I can see you’re cold from back here and you could wait inside where it’s much warmer, Miss” he said with a genuine smile on his face. You smiled back at him, nodded and after thanking him you went inside. Like he said it was much warmer and you already felt better with the warm atmosphere surrounding you. You quickly texted Renjun that you were waiting for him inside and not outside like you guys planned. While texting him you noticed that he was already 10 minutes late. A few people started taking their seats in the hall already so you checked your phone. 7:22, You decided to text Renjun again. Y/n: Renjun are you okay? Y/n: I really hope nothing bad happened! Y/n: if you can’t find me I’m already at the B section. Y/n: wait I’ll call you and I can describe it to you! You touched his icon and started calling him. The phone rang a few times but at the end it went to voicemail. There were only a few more people besides you. 7:27, You tried to call him one more time and after he didn’t pick it up a sigh left your lips. You turned off your phone put it into your clutch and took one of the tickets out to show it before entering the concert hall. You sat down to the right of an empty seat. ~ The music like always was beautiful. Hearing “Piano Sonata” live was so much more intense and raw than at home through the speakers. When your favorite part came you couldn’t help yourself and let a few tears run down your cheeks, probably ruining your make up. The elderly lady on your right side saw you and you shared her tissues while smiling at each other with tears in your eyes. At that moment you really wished Renjun would’ve been there. ~ You turned on your phone while you were in the elevator. There were a few calls from Jaemin which made you worry. While entering your place you called him back. “Hey Jaemin is everything alright? I just saw that you called me” “Oh everything is fine, noona! I called to ask you if you were going to come over. But after it went to voice mail a few times I figured you were at work. I’m guessing you just got home?” “Aha yes I just got home. I’m glad you guys are fine, I’m sorry I couldn’t hang out” “Omg you had to be there tho! Renjun ruined Hyuk!!!! It was crazy!” Ouch, that stung a little. “You have to tell me about the game when we see each other. I want details and please tell me you got Hyuk’s face on camera!” right when yu said that you heard someone else in the background cursing. You heard a faint ‘give me the phone’. “Ah, noona, Junnie wants to talk to you. Bye” “Bye, nana” you said and took a deep breath. “Hey noona, I’m so extremely sor-“ “Jun it’s ok don’t worry about it” “Please noo-“ “Jun please lets not do this right now. It has been a long day and I’m exhausted” “Okay noona. I’m sorry” “I know. Goodnight, Renjun” “Good Night, noona” You ended the call and the tears started running down your face like a waterfall again. (To be continued...)

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[Masterlist]

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drewbarymore · 6 years

Text

just us

Summary: Bucky feels good about himself for once, and then he doesn’t.

Word Count: 2.3k+

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Warning(s): self-deprecating thoughts

a/n: theres no reason for this. i just love bucky with my whole ass heart so theres that. and lowkey i was listening to If I Ain’t Got You by Alicia Keys while writing this so yeah. just throwing that out there. (and again this is supposed to be just a little something. little. short. and its not that short bc)

—

It’s crazy, because this night started out with him actually feeling great about himself.

He remembers looking at himself in the mirror a hundred times, surprised by the fact that his first instinct wasn’t to avert his eyes or step away from it each time. For the first time in decades, he doesn’t recoil from the monster he sees.

It’s not as if he feels like his old, more bearable self again— god knows that’s probably never going to happen— it’s that he doesn’t feel like the other old self that he abhors. He doesn’t quite see Sergeant James Barnes, but he doesn’t see the Winter Soldier either.

It’s just him—Bucky. And it felt good.

It’s crazy, because even then, as he looked at himself straight in the eyes in that mirror, seeing certainty and confidence for once, there was still a nagging voice at the back of his head that told him this was too good to be true. He ignored it at the time, unwilling to let his demons trample on the ease he was feeling.

He should’ve known not to ignore them, because while his demons are ruthless, they’re realistic. Sometimes he thinks they’re just the rational part of his brain, and that makes it harder to ignore them. His therapist tells him that’s what’s tricky about voices in your head; they make you think they’re right.

But looking all around him right now, it’s easier for him to think that maybe the reason why they want you to think they’re right is because they are.

He watches for another moment as you spin around on the dancefloor in your deep burgundy dress that makes you look like something he doesn’t have words for. Gorgeous, splendid, stunning, breathtaking, and a whole lot more, but nothing will give what he sees justice. You fit so well in this kind of place, reminiscent to the ones built during the Renaissance— royal, ethereal. He watches as people look at you in an almost entranced manner, and he can’t blame them. It’s hard not to love you. He out of all people should know. He watches for another moment as you smile at whatever your dance partner is telling you. Your dance partner, all in an elegant suit that actually fits his persona—luxurious and sophisticated, screaming money and a great and easy life ahead if you choose him.

Greg. Jake. Drake. He’s not really sure what his name is. He avoids anything involving him at all costs. He had to fight the urge to do a full on background check right down to his third cousin’s best friend’s daughter’s dog on more than one occasion, trying to reason with himself every time that that’s just plain intrusive and creepy, and that it doesn’t matter that this guy’s been sending you expensive gifts for the past month after you met at an event much like this a few months back. He told himself every single time, he had no right.

Because while you’re gorgeous and kind and gentle and the only real thing that grounds him, you aren’t his. And he isn’t yours either, no matter how much he wants to be.

Natasha, however, did a background check and assured him discreetly that your suitor has a clean background for the most part. Bless her heart for feeding his curiosity, but honestly, when he found out that he actually is a good man, he didn’t know whether to feel assured or terrible.

(Of course he felt fucking terrible. He felt like you’re being taken away from him, and it’s irrational, but it doesn’t stop the twisting feeling from crawling into his heart and fucking squeezing it.)

“Mission complete,” he hears Sam say from his earpiece, reminding him of what he and Nat are actually here for.

They were given a mission to gather intel on one of the guests. Nothing too risky, but you all have weapons on you just in case. You and him, however, are here to socialize and form alliances as to avoid situations like the Accords all over again. The higher ups figured that it would be wise to send the two of you, given that you’re new, and Bucky’s… well, they figured it would be wise to build a new image for him, somehow get people to see that he’s not what was made of him anymore.

“Party time,” he hears Nat speak into the comms, “looks like Y/N already started without us.”

The teasing lilt in Nat’s voice makes him want to rip the device out of his ear. It’s already bad enough that he can’t seem to tear his eyes away from you dancing with someone else. He knows that the sight makes him feel like he’s caving in on himself, but he can’t look away. As if it’s a need to look at whatever’s hurting him dead on.

A delighted laugh from you is the last thing he hears before subtly taking the device from his ear and turning it off.

He feels silly. So he slips out of your table discreetly, eyes scanning the interior of the venue for the restrooms and practically dashing to it once he sees it.

He feels silly as he looks at himself in the mirror in a stupid tie and a stupid suit that’s meant to make him look like he’s something when he’s not. He feels silly thinking about how good and proud he felt earlier in his bedroom seeing Bucky.

The good thing about being just Bucky is that he’s new. Being just Bucky is a clean slate, a fresh start, which also means he doesn’t really have anything nor is he sure where he stands. He’s something in between; both innocent and guilty. Innocent enough to be considered a part of a team that’s fighting for the good, but far too guilty with too much blood on his hands to ever be considered a hero.

He’s something in between, and there are times where he could trick himself into thinking that being in between is good enough and that he shouldn’t ask for more after all that he did. But there were times where he desperately wished he was more.

He feels silly because now he realizes that no matter how new Bucky is, he’s still nothing.

He goes back outside after a few more minutes, not really wanting to alert anyone by disappearing so suddenly. He keeps his head down as he tries finding his way to the bar, his earlier realization still heavy on his heart.

A hand on his arm stops him and somehow he knows who it is immediately even when he hasn’t looked yet.

“Hey, I-I’ve been looking for you…” you trail off, looking over at his slumped shoulders and hollow eyes that can’t quite meet yours. “Steve said your earpiece turned off. Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, that was just me,” he replies quietly. You want to ask so bad, what made him feel like this, but not with other people listening on your side. So you remove your own discreetly, turning it off. To others, it might’ve just looked like you were tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

“Sorry, you can go back to the dancefloor now.” he says, walking past you, but you stop him again with a hand on his chest.

His heart flutters, and he resists the urge to close his eyes from the feeling of being close to you. He’s trying his best to slow his heartbeat down, fearing that you’ll feel it underneath your fingertips. He swears his heart comes to life whenever you’re near him.

“Are you okay, Buck?” you whisper, trying to get him to look at you by keeping your eyes on him.

You’re so close—body pressed to his, your breaths fanning on the side of his face, and he can hear your heartbeat too, and he tries not to perk up from that alone. Your thumb moves to brush over his chest, and he caves just like that, hand coming up to your back as he turns his head to look at you.

You smile at the warmth of his hand, relishing on the burst of serenity it brings you. Before you could stop yourself, your mouth’s moving.

“I knew the suit would fit you,” you tell him as your other hand moves up to straighten the lapels of his jacket a little bit.

“Y-You chose it?” he asks, and it’s a mystery to him, how he managed to talk given how close you are to him. So close that if he leans in a little more, he could kiss you.

The mere thought of it makes him want to shout in absolute delight.

“Yeah, thought the color would make your eyes pop…” you look back and forth between his eyes, and he feels his heart practically jumping out of his chest. Like it knows it doesn’t really belong to him anymore and wants to go to the one who really owns it. Like it wants to burst out of his chest straight to you.

“I was right.” You smile, brushing your index finger under his chin ever so lightly. It didn’t even last a second, but what small part of him you touched sent his whole body into a state of euphoria he knows he never wants to get out of.

It’s fucking ridiculous, the control you had over him. And it’s supposed to scare him, having someone else have control over him again after decades of that very same thing, but it doesn’t. Maybe it’s because you’re everything good and gentle and kind and—

Maybe just because it’s you.

“You look handsome, Bucky.” you tell him, hand coming up to brush a strand of hair that came lose from his low bun behind his ear.

He could only give you a pained smile. It feels so fucking good hearing that from you, he just wishes he can believe it. He sees it in your eyes, how much you mean it, but he can’t quite convince himself that he deserves that look from you, so he looks away and scans the crowd instead.

Some people are already looking at the two of you, and he doesn’t miss their gazes trailing down to the exposed metal hand by his side, doesn’t miss how they look up at him one more time, only a quick glance screaming discomfort and then to you with pity before going back to their conversations. It makes him feel exposed and judged and wrong, and they all looked like they belong here and he just…doesn’t.

He pulls away slightly, feeling the chill of the air run through him as he loses your warmth. “Where’s…Greg?” he asks apprehensively.

“Craig,” you correct, eyes still set only on him, and it makes him feel incredibly exposed. “Around, I guess. I don’t care.”

He nods, moving to step around you, but for the third time that night, you stop him.

“Will you dance with me?” you ask gently.

His heart halts in his chest, and he wants so badly to say yes because hell, it’s his dream standing right in front of him just waiting for him to take her hand. He wants so badly to say yes and just spin around the marble floors with her in his arms feeling like a million bucks, but he feels the stares around him, poking and prodding, and he knows they’ll just worsen if he says yes.

You see the hesitation in his eyes, see it cloud his mind as he looks up at the people around you. You can hear him almost hear him thinking, and you want to help quiet down the voices in his head.

“Hey, look at me,” you whisper as you hold his face in your hands, willing him to look at you. “Just us, Bucky.”

He finally looks down upon hearing your words, letting out a shaky sigh. You feel his hands come up to your waist, and he nods, murmuring a small ‘okay.’ You smile, leading him to the dance floor.

The lights aren’t dimmed, and you’re in the middle of the venue for everyone to see. Panic starts to rise up in his chest again when the weight of fact that you’re practically the center of attention settles on his shoulders, and he raises his head to look around again.

“Wh-what about… Y/N, he likes you and he’s a nice guy—”

You take his face in your hands again, looking deep into his eyes. “I don’t care, Bucky. It’s just us.”

One of your hands travel to the back of his neck, and the other to the back of his head, gently pressing your forehead against his as you sway to the music. He lets out another shaky breath as his eyes fall closed. His grip around you tightens a hair, growing more certain, more steady and assured.

“Just us.” you repeat, moving your face closer to nuzzle his scruffy cheek and press small kisses on his jaw, praying that these little things will help him realize what you’re trying to get across—something you don’t have the words for right now.

You just know that love comes the closest to it, but still, it isn’t quite enough.

He nods, heart jumping out of his chest. This time, he doesn’t stop himself from pulling you closer by the waist, practically hugging you to him. You relish in the feeling of his warmth and scent surrounding you, knowing right off the bat that this will always be your safe place.

He moves a little bit, and you fear it’s him starting pull away again, but he only moves until the tips of your noses are touching, only enough to look you in the eyes. It’s the clearest you’ve seen them tonight, his blue ones, and you feel like a weight was lifted off of you— as if his pain is yours, and when that pain alleviates, yours does too.

“I-I like how this feels,” he murmurs shyly, making you smile.

“How what feels?”

“Just us.” he answers.

“Well, it can always be like that from now on,” you quip, raising an eyebrow at him.

“Really?” he asks, hope lighting his eyes up even more.

“Depends on you next move, Mr. Barnes.” You smirk.

“Well, I hope this does it.” he says, right before pressing his lips to yours.

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fluff #bucky fluff #bucky fic

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bibbleboo · 3 years

Note

Could we get some headcanons/more background on Abbey and Doyle’s kids? 🥺👉👈 I love the premise of this AU

YEEEEE (im just gonna ramble a bunch about the backstory i have so far but ill put it in bullets so its easier to follow lol i apologize for it being long as fuck-)

OKAY SO,,, first of all,,, doyle and abbey timeline,,,, [i am looking respectfully]

in this au, they get back together and have a sort of ‘lovers pretending to be enemies’ chaotic on again/off again hookup thing off to the side just between the two of them thru like Most of the final season, they try to keep it a secret (especially doyle who doubts the saturdays would be hAPPY if he was seeing her again) but in the end, saturdays ofc find out, probably are unsure about it at first, but she gains enough of their trust to be there for the big finale battle in the weird world mansion.

when shit goes down and argost becomes the vessel for the two opposing kurs (regular kur, and the anti kur from zak monday) and they like. explode his matter or w/e, i imagine instead of kur just completely disappearing, the ‘anti kur’ gets shot back to its universe, while original kur gets forced into a new vessel in this universe... the closest of which happens to be the unborn child abbeys unknowingly carrying. basically, what if the two kurs just LOOKED like they evaporated but actually did what happens when you try to like tape two same sides of a magnets together and they YEETED-

So thats how we have Parker, their firstborn daughter! and this... also implies ‘Parker Monday’ exists which. 8^) i havent thought about yet so forgive me on that but hoo,

they dont know parker is kur, they got no idea and rly just assume kur is gone for good. but after they find out abbeys pregnant (which is a huge emotional trip for both of them in its own right) they do eventually sort of agree they dont want their kid exposed to that whole world of mystery. like, ik its a vital thing to the whole family, and ik these two people were probably voted least likely to ‘settle down’ in high school, but i cant imagine they didnt escape the kur/zak situation without a LOT of trauma, so while the saturdays stay in the cryptozoology field, doyle and abbey slowly pull away from the mystery and mercenary stuff, and also instead of going for big dollar lifestyle settle with ‘independently wealthy’ parenting.

also, neither of them really . grasp the concept that theyve even started a family, and are ‘together’, and that this is REAL, until around when she gets pregnant with their second daughter, Kendall. and then theyre like. oh nooo wait are we actually like boyfriend and girlfriend EWW-

when kendall is born parker is 3, and the next like 10+ years are pretty smooth sailing. as far as what the kids know/see, they probably know the cryptids when theyre little but. (tw animal death sORRY TO BE DARK I JUST??????) idk,, how long komodo dragons live/how old komodo already is and i definitely dont know Anything about giant prehistoric birds and am not even sure if science knows that lifespan, so. im not sure how long they could really be in each others lives??? i almost imagine parker would have memories of them that she assumes she remembers wrong, like “oh yeah they used to have a lizard and a bird... my imaginative little kid brain thought they were a komodo dragon and a dinosaur”, and as for fisk im still working on it but i . actually kind of imagine he might have a much longer lifespan (since lemurians are like ancient or w/e? and also if hes by dna like a gorilla cat or w/e gorillas at least live long af) and also feel like once he got older and settled down a bit he might live somewhere in the woods, maybe even his old tree? and the saturdays see him ALL the time obviously, but hey zaks gotta go to college eventually, a gorilla cats gotta eat bugs in forest, we all have to grow up and leave the nest sometime,

so idk the last time parker has actually seen fisk and she might assume he was an imaginary friend or smth but, 1. if i do write a fic they absolutely have to meet again, 2. overall the vibe is they know the saturdays are cryptozoologists, like, the same way josh gates does destination truth, seeking answers and studying, they dont really. know that theyre REAL. to them its like, a hypothetical science. (this is also part of why they dont realize parker is kur, she isnt around cryptids and therefore whenever her powers would actually show up they wouldnt be recognized) anyways parker isnt embarrassed or put off by it but just thinks its a little wacky, meanwhile kendall is obsessed with the world of mystery/paranormal/cryptic lol

speaking of the girls personalities;;;

parker is like. not really normie/preppy, even if she seems it at first glance, shes nice and has a good head on her shoulders but also is a teenage girl (inherently unhinged) and shes THEIR teenage girl (+5 feral) so despite her success and charm shes also very witty/crass when she wants to be, and deep down shes closer to the kind of person that would on pure inexplicable instinct put something random in your mouth when you’re yawning so you bite down on it afterwards. or like. that video of the girl singing in the bathroom while her friends curl their hair and she grabs the curler to use as a microphone before realizing its burning hot??? shes. the voice of reason, but the voice is usually shrieking in fear, making a cursed joke, or half the time whatever shes saying is actually smart. she kinda wants to go to college and travel, but struggles with indecisiveness and anxiety, so she has no idea where to go, what to major in, etc. and is again kinda just livin thru the typical teen life in that regard

kendall on the other hand is like. weird kid culture, the kind of kid that believes they are secretly a new supernatural creature each year (mermaid phase, werewolf phase, alien phase, etc), probably completely accidentally starts cults or witch covens at school (didnt realize teaching peers how to become ‘blood brothers’ and ‘make potions’ from puddles and stolen school supplies would be taken so seriously by parents) , very into emo/scene/punk/alt culture but not rly in an overtly dark/edgy way, more of a having fun and expressing self way. she wants answers for everything, really loves mysteries and being open minded, and definitely a rebel/adventurer at heart, even if she gets naive or in over her head sometimes.

the girls get along well! parker is not dismissive of kendall she just. isnt really into the same stuff/is more freaked out by it most of the time, but she would tag along on certain adventures, especially if it was to keep her safe. and kendall definitely directs gentle mockery towards parker a lot but does see her as a good role model and guiding figure, their bond is really strong!

other details !

doyle and abbey prob decide to say fuck it and get married after kendall is born, they probably have a few rough patches but nothing is more important to them than the kids now and in the end they understand each other better than anyone else so . canon tension idk her! family ftw! power couple! they intimidate the teacher during parent teacher conferences together hand in shady little hand !

their parenting style is exactly what one would imagine, 70% fun and sass and controlled chaos where theyre the bigger children than their children, 15% ‘this is how you hack the government and dual wield swords-- i was not supposed to teach you that im sorry’, and 15% actual guidance / emotional depth / etc. flaws might be overcoming their own immaturity for the first few years, and then being lowkey overly protective (while claiming they arent, but just bc you semi jokingly tell parker she should join the football team doesnt mean you dont actually hide 60% of ur life from her and check that her bedroom windows are locked every night and have 24 people listed in her school emergency contacts and used to cut up her food till she was 7 and-)

so abouT THE BABY BOY (Phoenix), 1. his middle name is leonidas bc im gay and i love emotional turmoil babes , 2. fully unironically the idea behind such a late pregnancy is abbey would be mid fourties when hes born right. so like. [has two kids] ‘ok birth control time’ [when theyre teens many years later] ‘ok im old enough to stop taking this’ [the hyperfertility curse that plagues many women rears its ugly head with one last hoo-rah]

and finALLY a very quick elevator pitch of what id write an actual fic to focus on;;; kendall sneaks into the attic to look for old shit bc they BOTH know their parents have been hiding stuff over the years, she finds things like a cryptopedia (now offline), the claw, maybe even a piece of the kur stone, and ropes parker into the long haul of figuring out what all this stuff is. and ofc the second they ever find the naga relic and parker comes face to face with it, [rest in rip] time for mom and dad to find out and all this kur shit to start ALL over again-

#long post/ //#tw animal death ment//#GOD THIS IS SO LONG IM SRY--#idk what to call thsi au forreal yet so ill just tag it as #dabbey baby au #TY FOR ASKING THO HEART HANDS

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raulsparza · 7 years

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Ghost Quartet 11/4/17

I can’t stop reliving every little bit of Ghost Quartet in my head so I figured I would share with everyone! I was sitting on a cushion on the floor, right in the middle across from Brittain and Gelsey.

-@louarn kept mentioning that the theater was in a random part of town and when we went into the lobby area outside the actual theater she said it was absolutely a liminal space. Then she saw the sign ‘part of ghost quartet takes place in complete darkness’ and was like where tf have you taken me. Quite a wonderful start

-I was sitting on my cushion, happily absorbing the atmosphere of it all, when suddenly Gelsey was right in my field of vision. I almost screamed. And then Brent and Brittain and Dave were all there too and I fully realized just how close they were and how small the space really was like wow my dudes. They all just walked out and poured whiskey for themselves and got ready to start.

-Dave’s pre-show announcement sounded just like the one he does on the McKittrick hotel live recording he’s just always awkward it’s wonderful. And I kept just having little moments of realization like oh Dave Malloy is here and talking and real. It was nuts.

-I don’t know was super sped up and I kept looking over to watch Brent absolutely kill it on the cello. What a star. And him and Dave kept making eye contact across the room. And Brittain and Gelsey are just ethereal human beings words can’t describe them

-It was probably just from the AC/not intentional but there was a tiny breeze in the theater that would ripple the hanging strings on the lampshade between Brittain and Gelsey and it felt perfectly spooky

So much more under the cut this is v long

-Brittain sounded so lost/annoyed/confused for the camera shop scene. Like absolutely a customer not wanting to deal with a store worker/a generally stressed human not wanting to be around others

-Brent shook his head back and forth a little to help emphasize his bear voice. I fell in love with him during this show. Its casual

-Starchild was surreal and I never realized Gelsey played the metallophone during it so that was neat to see!

-Subway was startling and scary. The floor vibrated and the sound grew and surrounded us and closed us in and I was shooketh

-There was a special mic for Lady Usher that made her sound ghostly and echo-y and far away and Dave probably also had an echo mic (though I couldn’t see him very well) (save for his fluff of hair bouncing when he moved) and it was so unnerving to hear all the reverberation/lingering sound in such a small space

-What the heck was soldier and rose omg! I don’t think Gelsey is real?? Her voice is so loud and clear and all-consuming she had no mic and no music and she just went for it like damn. She also kinda conducted herself using her fingers on her left hand which was adorable. Brittain’s flirtations were too much. I think my heart stopped.

-Gelsey scurrying around to hand out instruments during any kind of dead person was far too adorable. Shoutout to @louarn and @hawkeyeing for sharing their shaker and cowbell with me! Such a fun atmosphere to be a part of!

-Dave made sure all the instruments were collected ‘especially that big one (drum), get that out of here!’ and he put his hand to his ear really dramatically to hear brent playing Thelonious monk what a nerd, and then assumed his position in the front of the room for the astronomer. He sang it like such a full-of-himself fuqboi rockstar it was hilarious. At one point he did a silly riff that wasn’t on the album and I laughed quietly and he NOTICED and nodded his head and smiled

-before family meeting starts Gelsey poured dave a drink and brought it to him over at the piano and dave says ‘thank hon!’. And then brittain just haphazardly bangs her hands on her keyboard while shes ‘playing’ as Roxie. Brent was so flippant and annoyed. This will always be my favorite spoken scene in the show.

-Four friends was wild suddenly dave was placing whiskey bottles along the top of his piano that he then passed out to everyone. pouring myself a cup of whiskey in a tiny little theater while four beyond talented performers sang their hearts out was practically an out of body experience

-I drank my whiskey really slowly to savor it all. feeling the burning warmth in my chest was a welcome addition to the intensity of fathers and sons. Brent and dave brought drums to the middle of the room and slammed on them while glaring into each other’s eyes. Brittain and Gelsey each held mics for them. When Brittain and Gelsey sang about the man on the platform together Brittain looped her arm under Gelsey’s arm so Gelsey could continue holding the mic for Brent and her and brittain could sing into brittain’s mic together

-Gelsey sat with her legs up next to her for the beginning of tango dancer and then danced with her arms wrapped around her a little. She is a mesmerizing human

-Brittain and Gelsey dancing together during monk was so sweet. And seeing this played out live really helped me to solidify the understanding that Scheherazade is telling the story of parts of ghost quartet itself to Dunyazad, similar to how Edgar tells the subway story to Lady Usher in usher part 3

-Dave said lights out and then all the lights went out, save for the exit signs and a couple pieces of glow tape on the instruments and furniture (‘too many little lights’). I actually loved the glow tape because it was small enough that it would seem to vanish if you looked at it directly, and it would jump around as you moved your eyes. I also fully closed my eyes for a couple seconds to experience complete complete darkness

-all of side three was so haunting because every once in a while someone would be lit for a second with a distant light that made them kinda fuzzy with a ghostly aura. And sometimes there was a bit of an afterimage the second after the light disappeared. I don’t remember specifically when the lights came on because it happened so suddenly and intermittently, but I know that all in all it was a perfectly disorienting experience and I want to hug the lighting designer

-Prayer specifically was so chilling because I was so hyperaware of the gentle sound coming from every corner of the theater. I always wish that song was longer it’s so beautiful

-and then the lights came back on and brittain picked up her mic stand and moved directly! In front! Of me! for hero and geez I was not prepared for that to happen. I was stunned and starstruck and trying to hold back tears so I definitely looked like a mess and she was so beautiful and her voice was so full and then she cried for real and I just wanted to hug her omg. Also Gelsey plays accordion during this song?? I was so distracted by Brittain but then suddenly I saw an accordion in the background and like. alright. Classic dave malloy.

-@joannachristie got a drum during wind and rain and was kind enough to let me tap it a few times! And then Gelsey looked up and made direct eye contact with me and she picked up her metallophone and put it in front of me and crouched down to show me which key to play and I was in shock and disbelief and had so much fricken fun. It probably went on for like two minutes after they left the area

-Talked to everyone after the show and handed out letters to all of them and took pics. They are all such wonderful, sweet, genuine people. louarn went around telling them all it was my 21st birthday and they were all cute and excited for me

-Brent helped me pick out the best tee shirt size and he excitedly told me about cello techniques and I asked what he was using instead of his bow at one point and turns out he just uses a drumstick bc it’s easier during a transition lol. he has such a gentle speaking voice

-Brittain hugged me immediately after she found out it was my birthday and im pretty sure i left that plane of existence. I asked her what she was singing during Pearl’s death speech in usher part 3 and she said she switches it up each night, it’s usually some sort of folk song. She couldn’t remember the name of the song she did that night so she just started singing it! Directly to me! for like, a while! It was so beautiful I am so beyond blessed

-gelsey told me I could develop my own scream if I practiced (and I joked about not practicing enough) so now any time I scream, ever, it is dedicated to her

-while I was still standing with Gelsey dave leaned over to me, extended his hand for me to shake, and said ‘hey I heard it’s your birthday! Well done!’ he said well done a couple times. I couldn’t handle it then, and I can’t handle it now. Well done. Also he said he liked the dragonflies on my scarf im in love. We talked about moby dick a little and I just thanked him for like anything hes ever done ever

so thankful and elated to have been able to experience this incredible show

#ghost quartet #dave malloy #brittain ashford #gelsey bell #brent arnold #mine

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