#and then it was an ap class i was interested in taking cuz i thought itd be cool to learn about so fuck you ron for that too

[ace-with--a-mace]

they banned ap psych in florida cuz the class ap discusses sexuailty and gender which violates ron desantis' piece of shit dont say gay law so fuck you ron for that

in the college board statement they say it was banned because "teaching foundational content on sexual orientation and gender identity is illegal under state law" which is bullshit because these gov leaders believe anything lgbtq is a brain disease so you'd think theyd keep the brain learning class

they banned ap african american studies because "it lacks educational value and historical accuracy" which is making it easier for them to erase black history that is so intertwined with the history of this country that most everything here is so deeply antiblack

this mf has his head so far up his ass that hes ruining our education system even more than it already was

#fuck you ron desantis i hate you so much I hate you i hate you i hate yoy #and cuz me nd my friends are tryna reach our counselors to see whats up or if theyre rearranging schedules and keep mentioning him #i keep getting ron desantis ads ab if i want to elect him president of the united fucking states of America #and then it was an ap class i was interested in taking cuz i thought itd be cool to learn about so fuck you ron for that too #and THEN it was the only class i knew ppl in. ljke half the class was ppl ive seen before or talked too #im ranting ab missing out on the class nd not seeing my friends but its really a bigger issue than that #like its scary hes using his power to attack lgbtq communities and kids and then he has enough support that hes rallying for head seat #its not safe here at all i cannot fucking wait to leave #ron desantis #us politics #ap psychology #college board #lgbtq #so mad im shaking im so sorry if this doesnt make any sense but school starts in a week exactly nd im tryna figure out the little issue #l speaks #keep talking l #ranting in the tags because i can #black history #racism

[cannibalizedyke]

Hi I'm like obsessed with you Eddie x Henderson!reader so could you maybe make one where Dustin knows that Eddie likes the reader so he like sets them up?? Idk if that makes sense 😔😔✊✊

it makes sense babe i love this

(reader is adopted cuz i don't want anyone to feel like they aren't being included if they don't look like dustin :))

💗👛💗👛💗👛💗👛💗👛💗👛💗👛💗👛💗👛💗👛💗👛💗

"Hey, Eddie?" Dustin tapped him on the shoulder on his way to fifth period.

"Henderson!" Eddie roughly clapped him on the shoulder. "How can I help you, man?"

"I, uh... I was wanting to make my own D&D campaign," Dustin lied. "I- I was wondering if you could help me."

Eddie tilted his head, considering. "Your house or mine?"

Dustin grinned. "Mine."

Eddie licked his lips and nodded once. "I'll be there at five."

"Perfect." Dustin started to head off. "Thanks, Eddie!"

Eddie saluted him and walked in the opposite direction.

Dustin pumped his fist in the air and practically skipped to class. He had no interest in making his own campaign. He much preferred to play as a character - he didn't want to deal with DMing. The real reason he invited Eddie over was you.

You and Eddie had an obvious thing for each other. You always volunteered to drive Dustin and his friends to Hellfire, you stayed during the games even though you couldn't play, and Dustin saw the way the two of you looked at each other. Y'all were head over heels, you just refused to admit it.

So Dustin formed a plan. He'd invite Eddie over, set up some big fancy dinner, and force you into a position where you had to admit your feelings for each other. Easy.

"Dustin, hurry up!" Mike yelled.

"Sorry!" Dustin ran into the classroom, still grinning.

Tonight was the night. He could feel it.

💗👛💗👛💗👛💗👛💗👛💗👛💗👛💗👛💗👛💗👛💗👛💗

"(Y/N)!" Dustin banged on your door. "(Y/N), get down here, Mom wants you to do the dishes!"

You groaned, opening the door. "Why can't you do them?"

"I did them yesterday, it's your turn."

You pursed your lips, then sighed and pushed past him. "Fine."

You ran down the stairs, headed toward the kitchen, then stopped. What was clearly an attempt at a romantic dinner was sitting on the table, and, looking up, you saw none other than Eddie Munson, looking just as bewildered as you felt.

"Uh, this is... not what I expected Dustin's D&D campaign to include." Eddie laughed nervously.

You let out a similar noise, fidgeting. You scratched your neck. "So, um, is that why you're here? To help Dustin with a D&D campaign?"

"That's what I thought, at least." He shoved his hands in his pockets, taking a step toward you. "Do you think... Dustin's trying to set us up?"

Your eyes widened. Holy shit. That was exactly what was going on, wasn't it? Oh, Dustin, you little shit- you shook off the thought and let out a laugh. "Why would he do that?" You played dumb, trying not to let your feelings for Eddie show.

"I don't know." Eddie stepped closer. "Maybe it's because I have a massive crush on you and he was trying to help me out." His lips quirked to the side, a glimpse of a smile before he stepped away. He cleared his throat. "So, are we gonna let all this food go to waste?"

You couldn't move, your mind was reeling too fast. You blinked. "I'm sorry- What did you just say?"

Eddie plopped in a chair. "I asked if we were gonna let all this food go to waste."

You shook your head, stepping toward him. "No, no, before that."

Eddie shrugged, tossing a pea into his mouth. "Oh, just that I have a huge crush on you."

You stared at him.

"I mean, you're totally out of my league," he continued, still eating, "so like, don't sweat the rejection part." He swallowed, grinning up at you. "I am under no illusion that you are going to return my feelings."

You didn't smile back, beelining to him and smashing your lips against his. You heard him gasp in surprise before kissing you back, pulling you onto his lap and tangling his fingers in your hair.

"Yes! Yes, yes, yes!" you heard, and the two of you pulled apart to see Dustin jumping enthusiastically in the other room.

You failed to bite down a smile and leaned into Eddie's neck, too caught up in the bliss of the moment to be mad at your brother's meddling. "Yes, Dustin, your evil plan worked."

Dustin came into the room, beaming like a child on Christmas day. "I knew you were in love, I knew it!"

You shook your head, still grinning like an idiot. "C'mon, Eddie, let's go up to my room."

Dustin's smile disappeared. "Wait, are you gonna...?" Horror flooded his features. "No, fuck, no, I am starting to think this was a mistake."

You grabbed Eddie's hand and pulled him up the stairs. "Too late, Dustybuns!" you yelled.

"(Y/N), NO!"

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x henderson!reader #eddie munson x gn!reader #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson oneshot #eddie munson blurb #eddie munson drabble #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fic #eddie munson

[honey-coloured-passion]

Dream SMP High School AU

pt 1

so many people loved this AU so here’s my little ficlet on the TA’s adventures! This one is SBI centric and we’ve also got some Tubbo and Ranboo!

(based of this post)

On the third day of school, Teacher-Assistant assignments are posted. Ms. Puffy treks through the halls smiling at new bright-eyed freshman and shakes her head at the hoard of hopeful seniors following behind her to the library where the list is posted. 

“Everyone will get to take a look! Mr. Minecraft and I worked extensively on the list and there will be no changes! The teachers and I are so excited to help foster your growth as a-” Puffy tried to give her inspirational speech but was cut off by the shrieks of joy, excitement, terror, anger, and every other emotion high strung teenagers could have. 

Tubbo walked straight up to her, “I got Sam right?” while the other kids were crowding the list beyond hopeful for their advisor Tubbo knew he would be Sam since he took every computer science class in his freshman year.

“If I told you no would you believe me?” Puffy winked, Tubbo shook his head with a laugh and started off toward the science wing. Unfortunately for him, a familiar screech made him spin on his heel. 

“WHAT THE FUCK” Puffy stiffened, took a deep breath, and located the voice as one TommyInnit. In a few angry strides he was towering over her as he began screeching. “I requested Wilbur, or even big man Philza, or hell, I probably could’ve made do with Sam and Tubbo! But Wastaken’s shit class? What do you take me for? Wilbur doesn’t even have a fuckin’ TA this year? You’d better change me right the hell now if you know what’s good for you.” 

Puffy sighed, she knew this was coming. “Tommy, Mr. Minecraft and I went over this, and we really think you can grow a lot with Dre- Mr. Wastaken this year. You truly have knack for physics and we think your creativity will add to his class. Trust me here Tommy, this is gonna be a great year!” Puffy tried to keep a calm smile on her face, but her saving grace was Wilbur himself coming up to her. 

Wilbur looked disheveled, it was writing season for the fall musical after all, but he had a massive grin as he approached the pair. “Pufffayyy! How will I repay you, or was it Philza? God do I have to give my condolences to Dream but a year with no TA is a good year for me! Say- Tommy! You ready for physics?” Wilbur clapped the shorter boy on the back with a teasing grin. Wilbur would poke fun at Tommy but he truly wanted the world for his favorite student. Puffy wasn’t going to be the one to tell Tommy it was actually Wilbur who had the idea of putting Tommy with Dream, Wil was always telling everyone he could that Tommy would be great and he was determined to let him shine even if it meant living TA-less for a year. 

“Wilbur you have to let me switch I cannot lose senior year to physics.” Tommy faked a gag but Wilbur was quick to chime in, “Oh no, you’re doing it. But my door is always open you know. Also you should be happy- isn’t the physics classroom one door down from the computer science room?” Wilbur always knew how to get Tommy’s attention elsewhere.  

“It is... speaking of which, Tubbo, we have to go set up our TA studies next to each other!” Tommy turned on his heel, nodding to his best friend as the two bolted through the hallway towards the science wing.

“You sure about this Wil?” Puffy glanced as the library which now had the teachers looking at their own pair-ups. One physics teacher looked less than excited. 

“The world isn’t ready for TommyInnit. Hell, Tommy isn’t ready, but he’s gonna do big things. Trust me Puffy.” Wilbur said with a grin, heading over to congratulate Dream on his new understudy. 

~

On the other side of the school Philza sat with a different senior.

“Ranboo my boy, I promise you this year’s going to be great! Mate, you’re one of the brightest students in this school. And trust me, Techno’s a great guy. He likes to have the reputation but he’s a real softie once you get to know ‘em! I wouldn’t assign you to him if I didn’t believe in you!” Phil placed a reassuring hand on the anxious senior in front of him. 

Ranboo’s voice was shakier than normal, “I-I just- it’s only my second year here. I barely know where the english classroom is! Also, I didn’t take advanced english here so how will I even be any help? Doesn’t Mr. Blade hate all the non AP students?” Ranboo rambled but Phil knew he was just nervous. 

“Everything happens for a reason mate, now go on down and pick a study wing with the other TA’s. It’s your senior year! It’s gonna be great.” Ranboo gave him a slight nod, thanking him for his time as he scurried out of Phil’s office. Phil couldn’t deny the Ranboo and Techno pair up was his idea, last year he saw something in Ranboo that was so innately intelligent and bright he knew Ranboo’s thoughtful ideas could impress anyone, even “The Blade” as the students called Techno. 

Phil yawned, he was exhausted and it was only day three of the school year. Just as he was about to dive into paperwork he go a call from the front office manager saying he had guests. With a sigh he got up, giving slight waves to his teachers as they made their way through the office to pickup paperwork and whatnot he noticed two familiar figures sitting directly across from each other. As he entered the main office both stood up.

“Phil, the newbie? Kid hasn’t even passed my class how am I supposed to make a TA out of him?-”

“TommyInnit? Tommy-freaking-Innit. Is this a joke? What’s your play here?-”

They both stopped, looking at the other. 

“Techno.”

“Dream.” They greeted each other curtly. 

It was always a funny sight seeing the two interact. AP Physics and AP English were known as the two most challenging, and iconic classes in the school- and their teachers held themselves to that standard. Many compared the two, debating who was the better teacher, with the better class content, or more rigorous academics, but honestly Philza wouldn’t have it any other way. Dream and Techno pushed each other in the best way possible, and the students always benefited from their competitive nature. 

“I see you two saw the TA assignments.” Phil mused, beckoning them down back to his own office. The two scuffled for who got to walk directly behind him but Techno took the lead. 

“So, as I understand, you’re both reasonably confused with your seniors, but trust me: those are two of the brightest students here, and they’ll both impress you as the year goes on.” Phil laughed at himself at their similarities, deciding he could play into the competitiveness of the two teachers in front of him. Phil continued, “Now, before either of you start I’ve got this to say. Ranboo and Tommy are both gifted in their subjects. Techno, I know you haven’t taught Ranboo everything he knows but that kid will give you a run for your wits, and I trust that you can shape him into a great scholar. Dream, you’ve got Tommy. I’m assuming Wil has already explained Tommy’s capability, your job is to inspire him. Both of you have two of the best kids in my school, and you better appreciate it. I would hate to see either of you drop the ball.” Phil leaned back in his chair, watching the two think his statement over.

Dream was the first to speak up, “I never drop the ball.”

Techno scoffed, “Good luck with Tommy, this Ranboo kid sounds pretty great anyways.”

This got Dream in the game, “Tommy’ll be double the student you could make Ranboo.”

“That so? Not with your teaching.” Techno shot back playfully. 

And just like that, Phil knew Dream and Technoblade would give their students the best education they could, he just hoped the kids could hang with the crazy teachers in front of him. 

~

“Did this day feel like the length of a month or just me?” Puffy slumped into the chair across from Phil. Phil answered, “it felt liked a month. But I just know this year’s gonna be good.” Puffy nodded in agreement. 

“Glad you’re feeling good, ‘cuz I’m 99% sure Tubbo’s programming a device to hack the school intercom. And I cannot deal with another week of Wii Shop music playing over our loudspeakers like last year.” Puffy laughed, but there was a clear wince in her tone.

“God that kid’s unstoppable isn’t he.” Phil pinched the bridge of his nose. Almost like clockwork a familiar tune started blaring over the intercom. Phil and Puffy jumped from their desks, headed straight to the comp sci room.

“TUBBO”

~fin~

That’s part one! Mostly just setting stuff up but it was still pretty fun! I’ll probably get a taglist going for this series so message me or send an ask if you want updates! Also, there will probably be some spin-off style parts including DNF or KarlNap but those will have warnings for those not interested. 

Thanks! <3

#dream smp fanfiction #dream smp fanfic #sbi #sbi fanfic #dreamwastaken #dreamwastaken fanfic #wilbur soot #wilbur soot fanfic #philza minecraft #philza minecraft fanfic #technoblade #technoblade fanfic #tommyinnit #tommyinnit fanfic #tubbo #tubbo fanfic #ranbo #ranboo fanfic #captain puffy #awsamdude #awsamdude fanfic

[ultraclops]

Semi-live Blogging: Return of the Mao Mao Episodes

Before we start, is it just me or is the animation like 10x smoother than it usually is? Also like I said with Nakey, there’s a lot more good expressions too!

Lucky Ducky Mug

Adorabat drinks from sippy cup like baby

"What, Mao Mao's ridiculous mug?" says Badgerclops, holding a cheap plastic big gulp cup he probably got from the grocery store.

How did Adorabat not notice the Lucky Ducky sticker on the Aerocycle

"Don't touch it" (Badgerclops proceeds to slam the table to move it) Ah Badgerclops, ever the contrarian

I'M SORRY DID MAO MAO BLOW THE ROOF OFF OF HQ BY SCREAMING

I love the way Mao says "PROFESSIONAAAL SILENCEEE"

Badgerclops trying to make his mouth disappear and failing made me scream with laughter

Are they seriously reducing Ratarang to 'the funny lil Italian guy'? C’mon guys you’re better than this

Wait why do they think Kevin is Adorabat?? They've seen Adorabat multiple times?? "But they're both blue!" You FOOL Kevin is TEAL there's a difference

Everybody gangsta til Mao Mao's ears start speaking morse code

They're doing surprisingly good silent but it's probably not gonna be that way very long.

Thank you, Lucky Ducky Mug, for catering to my niche interest in characters with neon outlines on black backgrounds.

Mao Mao thinking: Normal thoughts

Badgerclops thinking: Musical-esque singing

Adorabat thinking: Literally just heavy metal

The Sweetypies seriously think they're just playing a really intense game of charades huh,,,

(Mao jabs BC in the stomach with the fire net) HAHA GET REKT

The scene with Badgerclops trying to give Mao Mao Penny's mug is the funniest shit in the world I couldn't stop laughing...or maybe I'm just sleep-deprived

So the Sky Pirates are so similar compared to the Sheriff's Dept. that they can think perfectly in sync? That's cool

SKY PIRATES SONG SKY PIRATES SONG

Why is Snugglemagne throwing a random tea party & why did he only invite the Sheriff's Dept.

Yep there goes the plan. Both of their plans.

Am I going crazy or did the skin on Mao Mao's mouth tear apart like it was sewn shut?! Also yay they're talking again

"It's not gonna stop charging, so I'm just gonna let it explooode..." Mood

"What about the mega laser tube made by mega Losers?" Fsfhkfh

Hey, everyone learned something new from this experience! Are the Sky Pirates gonna try that Hive Mind tactic from now on?

Awww, they fixed his mug with gold - GOD DAMN IT I KNEW THERE WAS A CATCH!!

Lonely Kid

(Sighs) ...I said (SIGHS)

"I literally can't relate to that problem at all." says Badgerclops, who joined a gang because he wanted people to like him.

Shin just dropped off Mao Mao at a summer camp and expected him to make friends? Why does this feel like the plot of Camp Camp

I'm sorry the Mao clan has a freaking PARTY AERO-BUS??

NOO GERALDINE

That BGM is DEFINITELY an extended version of "I Love You, Mao Mao" and I want the lyrics NOW

So Bao was literally just a stray that Mao took home?? Would make sense as to why he wasn't trained

I have a feeling the Flimborg is some sort of sacred being the townspeople worship for some reason

How in the hell did Mao tie that guy up and why didn't he bother to untie him

HOW'D HE SET THE ROCKS ON FIRE USING PAINT

"And then you become frien-" "BEES. IN THE EYES."

"Everyone knows bees are our friends!" "Uh, actually, they were wasps." "Friends to no-one!" Usually I'd agree with BC, but I read an article about someone befriending a wasp and her babies so.

So the Mao clan's just known as the "Golden Cat Family Up The Hill?" Huh. I thought they’d have more recognition, especially since Shin says he went to that same summer camp at the beginning.

Man those kids are jackasses

"Say hi to your mommy!" "I would if she was here..." Excuse me wHAT

Noo don't cry baby boi - tHEN BAO JUST TACKLES HIM ASFHDKDL

"Go away! I don't feel like laughing right now!"

Look. You can see the EXACT point Mao developed his adult personality

I know Mao Mao means well but that is gonna go terribly wrong.

"I AM A HERO! I WILL BE LOVED!!" Okay first of all OUCH, second of all THAT IS PAIN

This monster empty, YEET

Awww it was just a sweet little puppy-ish monster...and it was his BIRTHDAY

"Hi, Aunt Gloria!" (Pulls out pitchfork) BETRAYAL

He didn't feel bad about ruining the festival because he made a friend doing it I 💞💞💝💝💗💗

Thanks for that 'different times' comment cuz I don't want kids thinking being beat is normal.

"Just like you found me...and I'm your best friend!" Tbh I thought she was gonna say 'Me and Badgerclops' & that would make a lot more sense

Why are they fighting over who's his best friend they're obviously BOTH his best friends

I'm sorry did Badgerclops just call Adorabat a "little mutant"?? ARE THE SWEETYPIES MUTANTS??

Awww his friends love him sm...and he feels so loved too...💓💓💗💗💕💕

Try Hard

No one gives a shit about Pinky being kidnapped lol

"K for Copyright Infringement"

"You'll never be like me!" Oof a little harsh maybe?

"You've gotta learn to be your own kind of hero, in your own special way!" So THAT'S where it's from

"You just gotta...try hard." Hey, title drop!

Ngl the moment Mao Mao said "Badgerclops take the shot" I immediately thought of The Confession 3 by TomSka

"Up in a tree, little old me, about to do something...UGLY..." 7-year-old me sniping people on Halo 3 like

Why is he shooting them with gelatin tho? ...oh. Oh THAT'S why.

Tbh if I didn't have subtitles on I would've thought BC was saying "beep boop"

This badger and cat empty, YEET

Adorabat walking into the Skyship with only a walkie-talkie is giving me some sort of vibes...OH, Silent Hill! Or Tattletail

WHOOP HIS ASS SWEETIE

"Mao Mao would hide the body!" Very unsubtle there, wonder how it got past censors

"Ratarang, say something!" "Pasketti?" "THAT'S THE BRAT!"

Wait a sec, they can just use Badgerclops' arm to power the ship? Why didn't they try that in CapturedClops?

"Good thing my head is in here cuz I'm a-scared of heights!" Ramaraffe. Whose whole schtick is making herself taller. Is acrophobic?

"Because she's Sheriff's Department, that's how! >:3" "Also y'all tend to be pretty incompetent >X/"

Why does she keep trying to use the elevator when she can fly? Nvm she climbed up Badgerclops' arm

"Ooooh I'm also hereeee"

"JERK BUTT"

Why is the Omega Field just a bunch of broken glass? And why doesn't she just step around it?

"I can fly!" "She can fly!" "SHE FORGOT?!" Ooh that's why

"You're the best thing to ever happen to a bat like me." 💝💝💕💕💓💓

Wait she's talking through the walkie-talkie and her molts are there but she isn't there where is she?

Oh she was freeing the other two from the gelatin. No wonder Mao Mao almost threw up, it was bug flavored.

GET HIS ASS, HONEY!! ADORASLAP!!

I hope that 'Nah' means Adorabat's realized she needs to be herself instead of her just rejecting her individuality like I think it is.

Scared Of Puppets

Oh, so this takes place after Sleeper Sofa! Praying it's a fix-it episode...

"DISCARD ANYTHING THAT DOESN'T BRING YOU JOY!!" Fuckin Marie Kondo up in here

Oh no PTSD flashbacks. He's scared of them cuz one's head landed on his lap as a kid? Understandable have a nice day.

Who tf collapsed into a sobbing heap on the floor then leaps back up and insists they're fine? Mao Mao, apparently.

Hairless ape? Is that what they call humans or are they something different in general?

"TAKE ALL MY MONEY!!" What did BC want an antique puppet for if he had no idea Mao was scared of them...

Mr. Din Dandalib!

"I...(eye twitch) love him too..."

IM SORRY DID HE FUCKING THROW UP OUT OF FEAR...holy SHIT

If I scared my friend and they threw up I would simply never do that again. RIP to Badgerclops but I'm different

(Badgerclops makes concrete blocks around the pothole) "Why didn't you just fill in the pothole??" "I AM TRYING MY BEST!!"

"I SIGNED YOUR DUMB CAST, NOW LEAVE!!"

...Illegal house plants? ...like marijua-

That was literally just that one video where a guy knocked out another guy in a mask jumping out of a trash can...

So it's a CPR class...AND a hair-styling class? How

I stg the moment Badgerclops walked in the door I knew he was carrying Mr. Din Danalin I SWEAR

"You're 10." "BUT I'M 6??" JFC Shin doesn't know his own son's age AND is partially responsible for his pupaphobia. And I called it on Mao Mao being six in the flashbacks

OH WIG

Can someone take the footage of the Annex exploding and add the ReviewTechUSA intro over it please

"How many Adult Learning Annexes have to be destroyed before you admit you're scared of puppets?!" is extremely funny without context

(Mao punches the wall cuz hes mad at himself for being scared) Kinkinkinkinki

How does one forget to drink milk

Oh shit the scene from the promo...

Yay he's starting to feel less scared - wait NVM it JUST STARTED TALKING??

OG SGUTVKC FGCJ OG SHKR OF DJCN JKKKKK

Oh it was just a dream - er, nightmare. FIRST NIGHTMARE SEQUENCE OF THE SERIES!

"I just gotta get my socks on...wait, I wear socks, right?" Dud e you wear NOTHING BUT A BELT...

"I KNEW SELLING THOSE HAIRLESS APE DOLLS WOULD ATTRACT DARK FORCES"

"There’s a lot of pu-" "PUBLIC DANGER"

Those puppets are alive I stg

"I'M A BIG BOI..."

Awwww she said what he told her at the beginning of the episode!

"I'M AFRAID OF PUPPETS" TITLE DROP YET AGAIN

Adorabat takes after Badgerclops sometimes I swear

Oooh shit sequel hook - oh NVM it was Badgerclops voice acting - NVM Mao Mao passed out. Dang

The Perfect Couple

Watermelon time babyyy

TRANSFORMATION TIME BABYYYY

Ah so he wanted to perfectly cut a watermelon in half, that's why he got so many?

"I need (counts on fingers) 600 more watermelons!" glad to see I'm not the only one who counts on my fingers

Why would Penny and Benny need 600 watermelons for their wedding? Also I called it on Penny & Benny being the couple

Mao Mao has to officiate the wedding? I thought priests did that

Please don’t throw up again Mao Mao

"I WILL BUY YOU A BAG TO HOLD YOUR STUFF..."

"A nondescript sack!!" Dude he just taking out the trash...

Nvm its just laundry

"I WILL TURN THIS BUSH AROUND"

Oh so THAT'S what Ramaraffe thought Kevin was Adorabat

"Why don't you buy me cake and do my laundry?" Are you implying you wanna marry Mao Mao, Badgerclops 👀

I lov Mao Mao's faces in this scene he legit looks like a bishouen anime protagonist

Nvm no transformation it's just his wedding outfit

Why did they invite Orangusnake and Boss Hosstritch to the wedding tho? What about when they hid in their moving truck and used their electricity - wait Badgerclops technically did that last one, nvm

Wait THEY DIDN'T TALK TO EACH OTHER BEFORE THE WEDDING?? What a perfect couple huh

Is Mao Mao having hallucinations just gonna be a regular thing now....

IS PENNY SERIOUSLY GONNA MARRY ORANGUSNAKE OUT OF SPITE ASFSDGFUK

Why did Mao Mao say "melons" in a Spanish accent I'm scared

"They're both terrible, so what does it matter if they get hitched or not?" They're definitely gonna change their minds now

"She lied because she wanted to protect his feelings! And he lied because he couldn't bear to hurt her!" Isn't that just the plot of The Truth Stinks?

OH SHIT HE CUT ORANGUSNAKE IN HALF HOLY FUCK

He made Orangusnake officiate the wedding as punishment lol

Why are they,,,stepping on the watermelons?? Damn right Badgerclops I'd cry over that too

"What's, uh, your credit score like?" "850. Why, is that good?" "It's perfect..." HE WANTS TO MARRY MAO MAO NOW ASDFHKL

#semi live blogging #semi-live blogging #//long post #// long post

[you-guys--are-losers]

Staying Objective

//Okay, so this one isn’t technically Spideychelle, but it’s going to be! I’m really excited to announce this project, one that I’ve been planning for a while. This is the first of what is going to be a series of oneshots, one that follows a the storyline hinted at in the summary! I’m not yet sure how long it’ll be, but I know it’s going to be fun, and the oneshots will be a lot easier for me to write than full-on fic chapters while I’m in the school year. Think of this first one as a prologue, of sorts! Thanks so much for all of your support. <3 You guys are one of the main reasons I write!

Also, title ideas are welcome XD//

Summary: Midtown Prep and Valleyview School for Girls: the two schools with the largest rivalry in all of Queens. Academically, the all-boys and all-girls schools have been at one another’s throats for years, with no clear pattern of victory. For new student and AcDec captain Peter Parker, the competition between the schools is much more intense than expected-- especially when it comes to Michelle Jones, the captain of the enemy decathlon team and the most unpredictable person he’s ever met.

Word Count: 1,351

Warnings: Mentions of death, an almost-swear XD

Characters: May Parker, Peter Parker

Find it on AO3`.

A Change of Scenery

It’s been three months since Uncle Ben, and still it feels like Peter is sleepwalking through a life he doesn’t recognize.

He knows it’s going to be different, of course. The move to the apartment where Aunt May grew up is out of necessity, now that Peter and May only have the one income between them for support. The change of schools, on the other hand, is May’s idea.

It happens one late night, after May has come home from a double-shift. By then, the move to the small apartment is complete. It is the home where May grew up, one that is a great deal more cramped and dingy than the space that they shared with Uncle Ben. Peter does not say a single word about this, however. He knows that May can do nothing about it, and with her touch, she has managed to make the apartment feel almost homey. Maybe they don’t have much, but it’s enough, and Peter knows that she never bargained on any of this. No matter how much she loves him, she never planned on him; she and Ben were never interested in children.

And no one could have possible planned on losing Peter’s uncle so soon.

Peter is sitting at their kitchen counter, working on a summer assignment for AP Calculus that he knows will take him less than twenty minutes to complete. He could get his work done much faster in his room, but there is a reason that Peter does his homework at the kitchen counter every night without fail. May likes to see him, to rest assured that he’s alright. And no matter what happens, Peter is determined to make sure that she knows that despite everything that might happen, he’s okay.

Peter can tell that May is watching him, but it is only when he is nearly finished with the last problem that she finally speaks up.

“Do you remember how I met your uncle?” she asks, and Peter looks up at her, surprised. He swallows and begins to set down the pencil, taking a deep breath.

“Yeah,” Peter answers slowly, peering up at May. She is sitting with her back pressed against the stove, studying him through thick-rimmed glasses as she fiddles with a damp dishrag. There is clearly something she wants to say, and maybe he doesn’t quite know what it is, but now Peter is curious. “You met him while you were in high school, right?”

“In a way, yeah,” May replies, setting down the rag and taking a deep breath as she moves to lean across the countertop. “He was a senior and I was a sophomore, and we were both in highschool, but not the same one. I actually wanted to talk to you about the school.”

Peter blinks several times, processing what she’s saying. “You want to talk to me,” Peter says slowly, and he can’t repress a grin as he finishes, “Valleyview School for Girls? ‘Cuz I’d love to go, but it seems like there’s one major problem for me in that department-”

May tosses the dishrag at him, and Peter doesn’t bother using his enhanced senses to catch the rag as it hits him in the chest. Instead, he laughs along with her and picks up the cloth, folding it and setting it on the counter beside his homework. May is smiling too, now, and Peter is a little bit pleased to have been the one who put it there.

“I don’t want to talk to you about Valleyview,” she hums, running a hand through her long hair as she shakes her head. “I actually want to talk to you about where your uncle went to school… Midtown Prep.”

Peter’s eyes widen, and he blinks a few times in surprise before he can finally respond. “Oh, okay. That’s the school that you reach when you go down the yellow line, right?”

“Yep,” May confirms, her eyes anxiously scanning his face. “Your uncle went there while I was going to Valleyview, and we met through the schools… Your dad went to Midtown, too. I’m not saying you have to go there, please don’t think I’m saying that. There’s no reason for you to switch schools since it’s not like we’ve moved districts, but I just thought that you might appreciate a change-- not that you haven’t been handling it well, I just-”

“No, no, no,” Peter interjects quickly, offering May a quick nod as his eyes widen. His mind whirs as he processes the idea. “I get what you’re saying. It might be nice to go somewhere where not everyone knows…”

He doesn’t need to finish the sentence, and May knows that. She bites her lip, nodding in agreement. “Yeah,” she murmurs, and Peter knows that he’s said exactly what she was thinking. “And they have great college prep programs, they’ve got a great relationship with several colleges in the area and their test scores are incredible nationwide. I just thought that you seemed like a good fit.”

Peter runs a hand through his hair, mind moving a mile a minute. “I mean, that all sounds great,” he confesses. “And you’re really okay with me transferring junior year? I couldn’t be valedictorian or anything. Not that I care, just…”

“Who needs to be valedictorian?” she presses, offering him a lopsided grin. “No one gives a sh- um, sorry, no one cares if you’re top of the class or not as long as you show you’ve got a work ethic. And you do, Peter. They also have a ton of programs and teams that you don’t’ have at Hillcrest, like tech groups, and a really good Academic Decathlon team.”

May steps away from the counter and to one of the drawers, and from within she pulls out a slightly wrinkled but still professional-looking pamphlet with the school’s name on the front. She hands it to Peter, and he turns it over in his hands. “You can look at that tonight,” she suggests, tilting her head slightly to the side as she takes one of his hands in hers, “and tell me what you think tomorrow morning. There’s still a week left for me to enroll you. And I don’t want you to feel pressured at all, hon. I just…”

She trails off, and Peter furrows his brow slightly as he watches her. “You just what?”

May offers him a small grin, letting out a sigh. “Maybe I’m nostalgic, but Valleyview did a lot for me, and I know that Ben and your father loved Midtown. It opened doors for them, gave them opportunities… I just want you to know those things are there for you, too, if you want them.”

Peter nods, and for some reason there is a warm, constricted feeling in his chest. “Do you really think I can get in? Their entrance exams are supposed to be-”

“-Absolutely monstrous,” May finishes, and her voice is lively. “But I have no doubt that you can do it, hon. Especially with that Stark Internship under your belt.”

Peter winces, but he quickly coughs to disguise the expression. “Right. I forgot about that,” he hums, setting the pamphlet down. Lying to May is the most difficult thing he’s ever had to do, but it’s what he has to do. Still… She cares about him, and enough to suggest this. If Peter knows one thing, it’s that he trusts May, and that he doesn’t want her to worry about him. And if acting on that motivation means he has access to better classes and tech? It’s an added bonus.

When Peter goes to bed that night, his mind is made up. It is for that reason that he wakes up the next morning with a grin on his face as he walks into the kitchen. May is trying not to seem like she’s watching him over her newspaper, so Peter allows her to do that for a moment before finally speaking.

“So, does this mean you’ll actually let me take the car to turn in my transcripts?”

#spider-man: homecoming #spiderman #spiderman:homecoming hc #spideychelle #michelle jones #michelle jones fic #michelle jones x peter parker #peter parker x michelle jones #michelle jones fanfiction #oneshot #oneshot series #peter parker #mj x peter #peter x mj #mj #original work

[thecreativeangel]

Popular (Peter Parker x Reader)

Peter Parker x Fem!Reader

*Please don’t plagiarize my work, thank you :3*

Summary: Peter wants to abandon your friendship? Cool. Brags about getting laid every other day? Okay. Is a complete jackass in general? Fine with you. But when he dares to flirt with you after a year since becoming a player? You won’t hesitate to punch him in the face.

Warnings: Swearing. Like, a lot of swearing. Oops, oh well. And Peter being kind of an ass cuz this is angst and it’s what I do.

Words: 2,146

You used to be friends with Peter. Now? Definitely not. You didn’t know how it happened and if you did know it wasn’t something you wanted to explain but Peter…changed. You blamed yourself for not noticing soon enough and still considering him a friend. Too late now, it’s been at least a year. If you wanted to go into detail you’d say he became closed off, talking to you less often and more to people in the popular crowd. After that Peter would always look like he wanted to tell you something but he always walked away. Time passed before finally, you and him didn’t talk at all, and you didn’t want to interact with him, even if for a science project or something small. Ned and Michelle were also having trouble being around him, because even when he stayed, he was different. The old Peter Parker was on the shy side but talkative when you got to know him, innocent with child like hope. The new Peter wasn’t even interested in Academothon. He was more confident, but in a bad way. Darker personality, less words spoken. He made a lot of small gestures, shrugs, tilts of the head that meant he was listening but not really. You were done with that, and so was he apparently, so one day he just...stopped. Stopped walking to school with you, stopped talking to you, approaching you, everything.

The next time you heard of Peter was in a surprising way: gossip. According to Gianna from fifth period, he went to a party, disappeared with Gianna’s friend Mia, and both weren’t seen the rest of the night. Everyone crowded around her to listen to the story. If you had rolled your eyes any more they would have gotten stuck in the back of your head. Please. You think. Peter changed, but it’s not like he would sleep with a random…

Your thoughts were interrupted when Mia strut into the room, her head high, obviously not covering the purple bruises on her neck and collar bones. You stared her down as she came in, your face completely blank. The sonovabitch got laid after all…

You turned back to your countless pages of AP Chem notes you took, adding another line to the last thing you wrote. Mia was sitting smugly in the back, only answering certain questions that were fired by the kids who surrounded her desk. She was actually proud that she got laid, and that made you shiver in revoltion. Mia would parade around the school with hickeys given to her by a guy she barely knew, from a party she was probably too drunk to remember.

“-it was amazing.” She gushed, all while faking embarrassment. “Like, how lucky was I to snag him before anyone else?”

You looked twisted around in your seat so your chest was pressed against the back of the chair, observing her. “-oh, my god. He was so good with his-”

“Can you shut up?” You ask, somewhat more rude than you wanted. Everyone turned to you, Mia and Gianna looking shocked and angry. Yeah, you weren’t the most confident and loud girl in the class, so it was a surprise to everyone.

“I wasn’t, like, talking to you…” Mia trails off. “But okay. I guess your delicate ears can’t handle it.”

You roll your eyes again. “Sure, whatever you want princess.” You mumble, turning back to your notes. “As long as it keeps ya happy.”   

Over time, it became a norm. Peter would come to school with hickeys and lipstick marks, messed up sex hair and the girls were all over him. Frankly, it was gross. Yes, he was attractive. Even you could admit that, and you had been his best friend. But the way he would walk around school like he owned the place, all the jocks and cheerleaders and pretty girls including him in their circle at lunch… You noticed his academic achievements weren’t as well known anymore. The old Peter would get an announcement on the school’s news show every other week about some award he won. Those never came anymore. The world lost a brilliant mind. You think, poking your lunch with a fork. Or rather, the world corrupted a brilliant mind. Same difference.

See, what you didn’t expect was the next time Peter spoke to you. It seemed that he had exhausted his pathetic and easy to catch one night stands, and was looking for new targets. And he dared come to you. Moron.

It was: “There’s a party at Luke’s this weekend. You should come.” and “Ryan’s renting out his dad’s club, it’s going to be great.” from different guys in his new friend group, each hotter than the next. You refused. Every. Single. Time. No matter how hot the guy were, it was always a no. If Peter wanted to ask you, he’d at least grow a pair and do it himself.

“Hey.”

You stopped shoving books in your locker but didn’t turn around. That voice. You knew that voice, and you wished it would go away.      

“Luke and Donovan are inviting people to a party. They asked if you wanted to-”

You slammed your locker shut so hard the entire hall became silent for a moment. “No.”

Peter quickly recovered from his shock and raised an eyebrow. “And why is that?”

“Well see, there’s a perfectly good reason is why,” You say, shouldering your bag and walking towards the exit. Peter followed. “And that reason is fuck you.”    

“Who shoved something up your ass this morning?” Peter asks snidely.

“I don’t have anything up my ass,” You answer, speeding up to lose him. “But if you’re looking to stick something up there like you do to all the other bimbos in this school then I’ll pass.”

“Damn, relax.”

“I will not.”

“God, can you just learn to take a joke?”

“Only if the joke is funny,” You fire back, stopping to lean on a wall and let the flow of students pass. “The old Peter told funny jokes. When can I have him back?”

“The old Peter isn’t here, sorry.” He says scathingly, his eyes narrowing.

“Then I’m not interested.”

“Damn, why are you so uptight?”

“Because I miss the old Peter!” You exclaim, tugging harder at the straps of your backpack. “You act like you don’t know me, and I’m sick of it!”

“I’ve done nothing wrong.” Peter says defensively. You scoff and turn your head away.

“You know why you came here, Peter?” You ask. “You came here to tell me that there’s a party, and you want me to come, and when I go to said party, I’ll get drunk and so will you. The thing is, you think we’re gonna have sex, after which you will leave me, ‘cuz it’s a one night stand. In reality, though…”

“In reality, I’m saying no. I’m not going to the party, getting drunk and becoming your play thing. I’m not going to come to school tomorrow with bite marks and be happy that I got them. I thought you knew better than to ask me, Peter.”

“What do you think I am?” Peter asks loudly. “A-”

“A man whore, a player,” You say in a bored tone, picking at a loose thread on your shirt. “An idiot if you think I’d say yes. You changed, Peter.”

Peter leaned closer to you. “I changed? Ha! Look at yourself,” He says. “You’re kind of a bitch now, huh?”

“Shut up before I make you.”

“What? Are you going to kiss me? That’s a little bit cliche, don’t you t-”

With one hand still holding the strap of your backpack, you punched him straight in the nose. Peter stumbled back and almost fell on a passing girl.

“Parker! (Surname)! My office. Now.” Principal Morita was suddenly a couple feet away, glaring at you and Peter.

You groaned and put your head in your hands. You were sitting in a chair outside Morita’s office, waiting for Peter to come out of the integration. When Principal Morita stepped out, you expected to be dismissed, but he called you inside his office and sat you down next to Peter.

“I know that you and Peter used to be friends.” The principal looked at a sticky note, reading off of it. “According to Mrs. Steiner you two were always partners in science, always double delegation in Model United Nations meetings… What happened?”      

You refused to look anywhere but your shoes. Principal Morita sighed and drummed his fingers on his desk, deep in thought. “I suppose you two need to talk it out, then. I’m going to leave and shut the door, and both of you are to discuss what happened. Clear?”

You looked up so quickly you almost got whiplash. “What? Wait, sir-”

“Or I could ask Mrs. Steiner to ban you from debate club, (Name).” Principal Morita proposed casually.

You bit your lip and nodded as Morita stepped out of his own office and shut the door. You looked back at the big window spanning an entire walls length and saw the principal walking away. Peter took his phone out and began to plug in earbuds.

“We’re supposed to be talking things out.” You say through gritted teeth, swatting his hand.

“I don’t want to.” Peter mumbles. “Sue me.”

“You’re a disappointment.” You say, staring ahead intently. Out of the corner of your eye, Peter stops fiddling with his earbuds and puts his phone down entirely.

“Yeah?” He snarls. “Well you’re a bitch.”

You put a hand on your chest, faking a hurt expression. “Oh no, the famous hottie Peter Parker thinks I’m a bitch. How shall I live like this?”

You pause and consider shutting up, but pent up anger stops you. “I’m going to ask something and you have to answer honestly,” You say, poking at a piece of lint on your jeans. “What happened to you?”

“I have no idea what-”

“That’s bullshit, Peter!” You shout.

“Fine, holy crap! You wanna know what happened?” Peter snaps. “I gave in! Liz left, my chances of getting the dream girl-gone! And then you were there, fucking helpful as always, and I was complete shit to you for no reason. I was terrible! So instead of saying sorry like a normal person, I avoided you. I’m a coward when it comes to you! I always lose my shit and I don’t know why!”

“Asshole!” You yell, punching his shoulder. “That’s not a reason to walk away! My god, I thought I did something wrong! Ned and Michelle are pissed!”

You leap out of your chair to stand over him. “You’re right, you are a coward. God dammit, I thought you were smart, Parker!”

Peter also stood up, backing you against the principal's desk. “Piss off, will you-”

“Don’t tell me what to-”

“I already confessed-”

“That’s not enough! Go roast in hell!”

Both of you were standing almost chest to chest, hands clenched into fists. You opened your mouth just as he did, and both of you yelled the same the exact same thing.

“FUCK YOU!”

You pressed your lips to his. Peter didn’t react, only stood there with wide eyes as you pulled away. Both of you stared at each other, then leaned in again at the exact same time, lips meeting in a hungry kiss. Without breaking the kiss, Peter hoisted you up on the principal's desk, scattering pens and documents. His hands rested on your hips while yours tangled themselves in his wavy hair, messing it up. You nipped at his bottom lip, earning a suppressed moan from Peter.

The door slapped open and Principal Morita walked in, looking surprisingly pleased instead of angry. Peter and you pulled apart as if shocked, both of you turning a deep scarlet.

“I suppose I should be angry,” Principal Morita says calmly. “But I also think Coach Wilson owes me ten dollars, so I’ll keep it a secret if (Name) promises to keep Parker in check. Understood?”

You and Peter nodded and almost ran out of the office and to the school’s exit. You burst out cackling midway at how ridiculously embarrassing the situation was. Peter skidded to a halt next to the front doors to the school, panting slightly.

“Our principal ships us.” You manage to get out between laughs. “Our fricking principal ships us!”

“I’m not sure how to react.” Peter says, smiling widely.

“Who cares?” You exclaim. “We made out in the principal's office! Holy shit!”

“Does that mean we’re dating?” Peter asks.

“I think so…” You grab his wrist and begin to lead him out of the school, considering the idea of dating. Your expression turns playfully serious. “But if I become your trophy girl I’ll cut your dick off with a pencil sharpener.”

Peter simply beams at you, lacing your fingers in his. “And I’d somehow be okay with that.”

#peter parker x reader #peter parker #peter parker spiderman #spiderman peter parker #peter parker au #peter parker fic #peter parker cw imagine #peter parker oneshot #peter parker reader insert #peter parker tom holland #peter parker imagine #peter parker preferences #peter parker angst #peter parker drabble #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker x you #peter parker headcanons #peter parker blurb #spiderman #spider-man #spiderman movie #spiderman marvel #spider-man x reader #spider-man x you #spider-man: homecoming #spiderman reader insert #spiderman tom holland #spiderman universe #spiderman imagine #spiderman oneshot

[heauxlycoitus]

“A man created the first camera in order to capture the beauty and essence of the woman and the female form. I’m just going back to the original intent of the camera.”

~Ferdinand the Photographer~

I think one of the main struggles I have in releasing my sexual goddess is overcoming the idea that my body isn’t wrong. It’s not a barrier. Nor is it a stumbling block. It’s actually art. I am art. And I wanted–craved–the opportunity for my body to be seen from the eye of an artist. I remember walking through the Louvre Museum in Paris almost 2 years ago and thinking that I could be them if my body wasn’t wrong. There were countless statues and paintings of women and they were beautiful. I was just wrong. But deep down, I had hope that maybe the way I saw my body was wrong and not my body itself. I wanted to be incorrect about my body thesis, but didn’t know how to adjust it or throw it away altogether. I wanted to see something different. I knew I had to see it to believe it to change it this time. I needed empirical evidence in order to change my mind about the body I tow around. Someone needed to help me on this journey and help free me of my inner shame and virgin trauma.

So I was minding my own business and decided to start swiping. I usually swipe right on the white ones, most of the Black ones, all the pilots. This one caught my eye cuz he just looked hella regular, but also like he had an inner spice to him. Something about the button-up, tucked in shirt with brown belt made me think that there was more to him than met my eye. Totally like the trash-ass book 50 Shades of Grey. I liked it and I was intrigued. I make my best and worst life decisions when intrigued.

Ding! He immediately writes back. What a change. He was friendly with several exclamation points, exuding a non-asshole temperament, shared that he’s not interested or looking for a relationship, but he’s an erotic nude photographer and would like to take photos of me.

Me: Well, why the hell not!

We meet in his hotel. Because of the Coronavirus, we had to register me at the hotel. I was worried they wouldn’t let me in! Front Desk guy asks what I’m here for and my Tinder Photographer says, “Oh, she’s only going to be here for one or two hours.”

OMG! The whole front desk thinks I’m a prostitute! How embarrassing. I just stare back in my “Well, what he said” face cuz I’m working on not needing to prove my self or ethic to folks that don’t matter.

We go up to the ninth floor. I wonder about what kind of small talk to make in an elevator when you’re about to be very naked in less than 5 minutes. I guess the weather is a suitable topic.

Cloudy.

As soon as I walk in, I scan for sketch things like cameras, odd odors, drugs, copious amounts of alcohol, blood stains. I’d really rather this not be my last day on earth. Also, my first nude photo shoot left me traumatized, but that’ll be saved for another blog entry.

Ferdinand rushes in and starts moving furniture frantically and with intention. I’m standing there for 2.5 seconds like, “Oh. I guess this is when I take my clothes off…” As he scoots around and checks lighting and makes his plan for the photo shoot, I disrobe and unleash my floppy boobs. When I uncupped my breasts, I thought he would quit what he was doing and lick his lips or something. He didn’t. I slowly took off my undershorts and thought maybe this would be the time for him to be annoying and borderline gross–make a gesture or remark of my pubic hair or use his spidey-sense or fingers to check my wetness. Ferdinand never stares at me like I’m a piece of meat ready to be demolished. I was butt ass naked but still shrouded in my dignity somehow.

As discussed before, all photos were to be taken on my iPhone 7. I didn’t really know how good the photos would be cuz I’m 3 generations behind and only know how to do regular shit on my phone. I hand it over and he starts snapping. I could hear the dull tapping that a phone makes when someone presses the screen to take a photo. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary and I thought they were just regular pictures. I really really hope this isn’t going to be a waste of my time. Cuz I mean, I am a bit obsessed with nude photography and have high standards for this art form. But also, maybe he’ll do suck photos and then ask for a fuck later as a thank you. I was prepared for suck pictures, a fuck, and a lip-lick throughout as icing on the cake.

A bit lost at first, I just stand there. I don’t do well exposed or dancing. I need specific instructions. The whole free idea really stresses me out cuz it’s just too many choices and I get overwhelmed. He gives no instructions at first. In my head I’m like, “Lemme just put my forearm on the window ledge and look contemplative at the clouds.” I saw that on Pinterest once and it looked nice. That was my first pose before Ferdinand started giving me directions.

Sit here. Stand. One leg up. Cross your leg. Lean back. Lean forward on your knee. Let’s move this chair. Oh the natural lighting is going away. Face the window. Hands up. Arch your back. Open your legs wider.

Spread your lips.

More.

We took photos next to the window. Sitting on the ottoman. On the floor. In the corner. In the bathtub. Shower. Legs up. Legs out. Breasts covered. Breasts hanging. Clit peeking out.

It was intense. We take a break and he shows me the pictures and I almost burst into tears. I’m not wrong. I’m art. I look like I was made on purpose. By design. Not a single centimeter out of order. My breasts and thighs and hips, buttocks and back chub and belly pudge and knees and ankles and neckline, arm crease and wrists and fingernails made sense. My pubic hair framed my lips which framed my clit. How had I not seen this before?

Speechless. I made myself speechless.

We make a plan for the rest of our time together. He asked about what other poses and focus areas. I tell him that when I get nervous I do this stupid grin that I hate and it ruins photos. I look for the stupid grin and ask him to do those ones again. I want more of my nipples and areolas. My collarbone cuz it’s my favorite. More next to the brown hallway cuz I think it’s a nice contrast to my skin tone. He wants to try a tiny complimentary hotel red and yellow apple next to my clitoris.

In the middle of Part 2, he gets a phone call from the front desk. He sounds patient answering their questions. I stretch my back with my fingers gracing the floor. I hear that same dull tapping as he snaps a few photos. The lighting is great. Those were a couple of my favorite shots. That’s when I started to get aroused. I couldn’t help myself. My cheeks were getting rosy and my clitoris started to swell. I felt seen like a masterpiece in Madrid.

He gets off the phone and tells me to stay in that position–back arched, toes and fingers touching opposite floor ends. A lazy rainbow assisted by an ottoman if you will. He says he wants to take pictures of my mons pubis. OH LORD JESUS IS THIS BIOLOGY CLASS??!!! What in the world is a..then he inches closer to my v-line and I’m like, “Ooohhhh, well why did he just say the front hair part!” I totally forgot that it had a name. He knew the name. Other men I’ve slept with don’t even know the names of female anatomy–calling lips my vagina and shit. Ferdinand knew the woman’s body intimately without fucking me all because he had studied many and observed them through so many lenses over the years. I get more aroused.

He then says we need to do some pictures that exude **he pauses and thinks** pleasure. By now, I’m trying not to be breathless. I’m ovulating so I’m pretty moist already. It doesn’t take much. He places me near the bed lamp and says to touch myself.

Masturbate with an audience of one. Got it.

I slip my fingers between my lips and lost my breath. He took pictures of my circular motions as I played with my lips and clitoris. After him naming the scientific name of the “front hairy part” and him not licking his lips when I disrobed and him studying my body to grab her essence from the pit of virginal shame, they were begging for attention and finally got some. I reached a pretty deep breath and a low moan. He says I can go ahead and finish if I wanted and then just walks away giving me privacy to be with myself and my feminine energy.

I wasn’t ready to go deeper with my audience of one. Next time, absolutely. That was the one time I actually got scared. What if I go there and can’t get back? What if I like having an orgasm in front of an audience and I can’t replicate that experience ever again and then can’t orgasn ever again? What if this is when he goes ape-shit crazy? I wasn’t ready to be post-orgasm vulnerable. I knew I would want to be cuddled or to ride the wave of the cum. But we had more work to do. So I pulled myself back and my body was deeply sad. She was ready, but I was not.

I didn’t orgasm that time but I could have. Next time. Maybe when I have the iPhone 8 I’ll cum and he can get it on camera. After getting close to an orgasm, I sauntered into a few more poses–a little high off my own libido and ready to finish strong.

He asks if I want anything else. He’d taken almost 350 photos. I’m satisfied. He’s satisfied. I tell him I need to charge my phone for about 30 minutes.

I have so many questions. Like, how and why nude photography? Why women? Must the nude photography be done with a model that the photographer is sexually attracted to? Does the photographer’s sexual orientation and preference matter when choosing gender of the model?

He wants to hear my story. Where I am in my journey. Maybe he cares. Maybe he doesn’t. Perhaps that Spanish politeness coming through? I share anyway. Speaking and having him listen intently was like salve to a purity culture wound. He offered no advice or sage wisdom or encouragement. Just an occasional nod of attentiveness and full, deep eye contact where he saw my essence. And I let him. I gave him the heaviness of my vulnerability and he held it safely for me.

As I charged my phone, we talked. I kept waiting for him to lean over and let me infer that it was coital payment time now. I braced myself for the beckon and it never came. I wasn’t brave enough to ask if he felt the sexual tension at any time during the photo shoot. I sure did. But if we would have fucked, it would have ruined the sacred space of me and him together making art. It would have brought down the innocence and raw eroticism down to dirt level and left me shrugging my shoulders and figuring out when I could fuck my next one.

As my battery revived itself, I was still nude. But somehow, I wasn’t butt-ass naked. I’ll have to ponder the difference between the two in a later blog, but they are truly not the same. The whole time I sat on the couch, my hands gracing my thighs, breasts displayed, and body finally resting, his eyes never left mine. He could very well have stared at my exposed areolas or the haired triangle–my mons pubis–and imagined himself between my legs like every other guy, but he had the dignity, the audacity, and the reverence of the woman and feminine energy to not. I felt that and it almost made me weep again and get to an even deeper level of healing for my wounded soul. He had literally seen and snapped shots of my sacred spaces, gotten mere inches to be counted on 1 hand not 2 away from my treasures. I extended trust to him and he offered strong, safe hands to hold my vulnerability and sacred woundings. Time stood still and I inched my way further down my path towards healing and art and beauty and voice and honor and dignity and grace.

I’m not sure if I’ll ever meet Ferdinand again. I would love to take more pictures with him. I mean, I messaged him and did my best to beg and plead for another chance. I even said that I would shave if he brought his good camera. And y’all THAT is true dedication cuz me and my leg and pussy hair are real close.

Not fucking made me sit and be completely. Be all the things. I couldn’t run and hide behind fucking and flipping from position to position almost robotically. I didn’t fake an orgasm. I didn’t wonder why the guy didn’t care that I hadn’t cum. I brought my whole self in a way that I hadn’t in other sexual encounters. This photo shoot was somehow deper and more intimate than sex and I will wonder how and why it was like that for years to come.

That day, I learned, I need nothing else to be beauty. Nothing more to be art. Just me and my body.

Just me and my art.

Thanks Ferdinand. I’m glad I swiped right on you.

#nudemodel #nude art #female #art #my writing #christianity #my words #purity #passionate #libido #journal #sexy #sexually #sexuality #spain #black feminism #nudepics

[the-madame21]

50 more interesting questions

Rules: fill this out and tag at least one person you’d like to know more about! Or just fill it out! Or don’t! Answer only some of them! Make up your own questions! “What kind of requirement is that”, you ask? A reasonable one! Who am I to tell you what to do? Anything goes!

Tagged by @acrispyapple. Thank you! <3

1. What kind of food can’t you stand? Pixie sticks. Or onions. 

2. If you could choose one minor inconvenience to never have to deal with again, what would you pick? My phone recognizing my thumbprint every time so I don’t have to deal with physically unlocking my phone lmao.

3. Have you got any useless talents? all talent is useful.

4. If you could be really really good at one thing, what would it be? Not stressing. It’d be so nice to not stress and get worked up over every little thing lmao.

5. Name a few people you think are extremely good-looking - Matt Damon (fight me) Hook from Once Upon a Time, the lead singer of Black Veil Brides 

6. What was your favorite way to pass the time as a kid? Playing pretend!! Ah me and my sister would make up the wildest stories haha. And we had an insane amount of stuffed animals and shit we used for props. I also loved swimming back then. 

7. What is something you’re proud of? I’m really proud of my writing even if almost no one I know personally reads it lol. 

8. What’s one character flaw in people that you just can’t tolerate? I hate when people are fake friendly. Like you can tell when it’s genuine vs not and it just bothers me like stop fucking trying so hard. 

9. Do you consider yourself to be more of a leader or a follower? Uhhhh both I guess. I rather just follow since it’s easier and back in elementary through high school everyone always pegged me to lead group projects and shit so I’m kinda sick of it lol. 

10. What kind of student are/were you? 6 AP classes all in one go woo let’s do this lol. 

11. Butterfly effect question! Has there ever been a seemingly minor decision you’ve made (at the time) that ended up having a profound influence on your life? Not that I can really recall off the top of my head. 

12. Name your most irrational fear/aversion  I can’t watch scary movies. Like at all. “But it’s fake” bitch that don’t mean it ain’t scary. 

13. Are there any fictional characters you find especially relatable? Anything is relatable if you try hard enough. 

14. If you drink, what kind of drunk are you? Alternatively, what sort of person are you at parties? I get really giggly. Like I laugh all the time anyway but it becomes especially true when I drink. 

15. Do you fall in love easily? Or does it usually take a long time for you to trust someone? I think I do. But I don’t know if that was just because I’m in love with the idea of love. 

16. Would you rather have one close friend or 100 casual friends? One close friend. Which is basically what I got now lmao.

17. Do you consider yourself to be more of a slob or a neat-freak? I’m kind of a slob since I’m lazy but never for very long because seeing everything dirty just like *screams* I can’t take it. Cleaning is like relaxing to a certain extent lol.

18. Describe a place (imaginary or real) that you would find incredibly cozy Oh I always think of like rain or snow and just having a desk pushed up against the window or something like that. Or somewhere with a bunch of pillows where you can see the rain falling. If there’s a christmas tree too then that’s awesome lol. 

19. Do you have kids? If not, do you want them someday? I don’t have any kids but I do want them someday. 

20. What was your favorite book as a child? The Chronicles of Ancient Darkness: Wolf Brother

21. Name one thing you just don’t get what all the hype is about Is it bad if I say kpop?

22. Name one thing that you think is tragically underrated uhhhhhh

23. If you had to be glued to a person for a month, real or fictional (who you have never met), who would you choose? Abraham Lincoln.

24. What’s something you’d like the chance to do someday? Visit all of the Disneylands. I’m only missing Shanghai and Hong Kong.

25. Do you typically speak your mind when you have a controversial opinion? Or do generally prefer to not rock the boat? I usually stay quiet, judge you in my head, and then talk shit to my mom or bf. 

26. What’s the dumbest fad you’ve been caught up in? Does anyone remember those rubber bands that were like animal shaped and people wore them as bracelets? 

27. What’s something you thought was cool as a kid/adolescent, but now cringe at yourself for? My entire middle school self lmao.

28. What’s a trait you consider to be very admirable? I think honesty. It’s hard being honest. And it’s like everyone is so used to lying like sometimes these people come off as blunt but like it’s appreciated.

29. Is there a particular kind of item people always tend to give you as gifts? (For instance, people always get you things with ducks on them because you like ducks, etc.) people don’t give me things. So. I guess things that are disney related?

30. Do you speak multiple languages? Which ones? Spanish, English, Fake French and even faker Japanese. 

31. Would you rather live in the big city or the countryside? City please for the love of god I would not survive in the countryside. 

32. Has there ever been something you were certain you’d hate, but ended up loving? Anime. Woops. 

33. Do you mind being the center of attention, or do you prefer the spotlight to be on someone else? ALL EYES ON ME IN THE CENTER OF THE RING JUST LIKE A C I R C U S. I like attention. 

34. Favorite holiday? Christmas! :D

35. Are you a more go-with-the-flow type of person, or do you need to have things planned meticulously? Plans. Please. 

36. Is there something you loved so much you wish you could forget it and experience it all over again? (A tv show, book, series–anything.) Mmmmm no. Things get better the more I know about them. 

37. What hobbies do you have? writing...other than that I’m an incredibly boring person lmao. 

38. If you could have a superpower, but it was only mildly useful, what ability would you want to have? shaving in like three seconds. Gods that’d be so useful. 

39. Something people are always surprised to learn about you I’m not white.  

40. Something that took you way too long to figure out I religiously spelled “maybe” as “mabye” up until like the third grade because I was convinced my teachers were just wrong. 

41. Worst injury you’ve had? a busted lip I guess? 

42. Any morbid fascinations? not really?

43. Describe your sense of humor it’s fucked up. 

44. If you had to be born in another era/place, which would you choose? I love/hate this question because as a woman like shit sucked back then. But let’s go with ancient egypt cuz I like ancient egypt. 

45. Something you are irredeemably bad at video games. I literally cannot game. How does it work. 

46. Something that sucked but you’re glad you went through Walking the length of the golden gate bridge. That shit was awful. I’m scared of height AND bridges AND it was raining so and it’s a long ass fucking walk. But I guess I can say I did it so whatever. 

47. Would you rather have a really godawful ugly tattoo in a place that is only slightly inconvenient to conceal with clothing (upper arm, thigh, etc.), or the coolest, most beautiful tattoo ever in the middle of your face? (Neither tattoo can be removed or concealed with makeup, and the ugly tattoo will deeply offend anyone who sees it.) the ugly one. 

48. Are you more of an optimist or a pessimist? depends on my mood honestly. 

49. What would be the most flattering compliment someone could give you? Idk all compliments are pretty flattering so I’m not too picky. 

50. Something you feel people often misunderstand about you I don’t really know. I don’t interact with enough people lmfao. 

not forcing anyone to do it, this is long af. So whoever wants to, feel free!

#tagged #tag game #ty for tagging me #this was long af

[realtalk-princeton]

any thoughts on the econ department if i’m fairly strong at math? in terms of grading/enjoyability/professor’s etc :) also if I got a 5 on both AP exams, should i go straight into the 300 levels or retake 100 and 101? i’m considering switching from MAE (i’m a freshman)

Response from Pichu:

i think the main benefit you’ll get from switching to econ from MAE is a LOTTT more time. there’s nothing special about the econ department. most of the classes are either mediocre or bad. you seem plenty qualified to go straight into the 300 levels, if i were in your shoes i would do that, no point in wasting time with the 100 levels. but if you want to hold yourself back and take 100 and 101, that’s fine too, take a chill semester or two, but i think you might find it frustratingly slow (both the material and the people) at times. in terms of grading, i would say the curve for most econ classes will be less generous than the curve for most MAE classes. enjoyability: most econ majors i know dislike most of their econ courses (310/311/312 are notoriously bad, most others are just dry) (maybach can add whether he enjoys it or not). there are some cool professors in the econ dept it seems, but they don’t seem to teach the usual classes that you’d take.

if you say you’re fairly strong at math, the econ department should be a walk in the park for you and you’ll have so much more free time than if you stayed MAE. that is definitely an important thing to consider. however, if you find MAE/engineering interesting, i think you’ll enjoy your studies more than you’d enjoy econ. you should decide whether i’m correct or not in describing the two sides, and you should decide which side you’d prefer. if you’re thinking econ bc of job prospects, i would say don’t worry, there are definitely a good number of MAE majors in finance/consulting. maybe see if you can stay MAE while taking a 300-level econ course each semester, and then you can decide to switch to econ sometime next year if you don’t like MAE anymore (econ doesn’t have too many reqs, so you can definitely wait until next year to switch). just don’t let econ 310 be an indicator of the department, cuz while the department is generally pretty bad, 310 is like at a whole ‘nother level of shit, according to everyone.

Response from Maybach Renntech:

I think is a little bit of a hyperbole haha to say most of the classes are “either mediocre or bad” and “the department is generally pretty bad.” But obviously, everyone has his/her own opinion and Pichu has taken several ECO courses so he has a valid basis to form thoughts.

I’ll try to help answer your question with my experience to provide additional input. First of all, let me just say that being fairly strong at math is not automatically going to make your life in ECO a walk in the park. It will, if you only take extremely math and quantitatively oriented with less actual ECO content. However, the department offers a lot of diverse courses such as History of Economics and Ethics and Economics, both of which are not made any easier by having a strong background in math. All that said, yes, I think ECO is for sure less time consuming and less difficult in general compared to all of the engineering majors. Grading really depends on the course, but Pichu is correct in that most the core classes are not graded nicely (usually 30% A’s). I actually enjoy most of my professors as well. I think they are very good and they care about undergraduates. Can’t say the same for visiting ones though.

Lastly, I’ll touch upon enjoyability. I think the real problem with ECO, is that there are simply too many people in the department and for the wrong reasons. People tend to be miserable if all they take are the core classes and the core finance courses with a poor work ethic and/or math background. They do this for jobs, but it’s just a pain for them and makes them unhappy. Also consider independent work. Some people hate this too and having to do empirical analysis that’s a lot more complicated than just adding a few control variables. This can be so frustrating for some colleagues I know as they are working extremely hard to do something they can’t stand and have minimal interest in researching.

I have personally liked my experience in the ECO department, but due to the size of the department, a lot of people really don’t like it. Yes, the core classes are not very good in general. I have no idea why Princeton continuously leaves poor quality visiting professors or lectures in charge of running them. The same goes with a lot of the finance courses (which are not ECO btw, despite the name). However, I actually even like Econometrics now after some practice and I think Kirill gets an unfair rep from students who are lazy and never show up to class. I also really enjoy some of my real ECO classes taught by actual professors in smaller class room settings.

[lone-tc-heartbreak-blog]

Daily December TC Ask (no one asked but here)

-Day 1) What color is you TC’s hair?

Dark brown.

-Day 2) Is your TC married?

Yes.

-Day 3) If yes, do you care? Would you do something with them regardless of their marriage?

As much as I'd like to do something, I'd never disrespect their bond that way.

-Day 4) What’s your worst memory with your TC?

I don't really have one, to be honest. I suppose the days when it feels as though I'm invisible to him.

-Day 5) What’s your best?

When I was going through family issues, he went out of his way to help me, and walked around the school with me to find a certain person to talk to. It was really nice of him. Made me feel less alone.

-Day 6) Does anyone in your school know how you feel?

Yeah, a few of my close friends (one of which sits behind me in his class and gives me the wiggly brows whenever he does something)

-Day 7) Does your TC know how you feel?

I hope not. While I'm not necessarily subtle, I'm not obvious, and that'd be humiliating, so all the more reason to be not obvious about it.

-Day 8) Do you think there’s any chance your TC reciprocates your feelings?

Doubt it. It'd be crazy and nice, but I doubt it.

-Day 9) Are you getting your TC a Christmas present? If so, what is it?

I considered it, but I chickened out. Don't know what it would've been.

-Day 10) Have you ever flirted with your TC? Describe it.

Haaah, that's a good one.

-Day 11) How long have you had a crush on them? What began it all?

I've had a crush on him for about 4 1/2 months now. He started being my teacher just this year, and he had a personality much brighter than those I've seen in teachers before. He caught my eye when he performed with his little teacher band (he's a drummer, so +1 for gorgeous arms) and then proceeded to be charming and hilarious pretty much every day on.

-Day 12) Do you believe you’ll get over them shortly after you stop taking their class/have the chance to spend time with them?

I probably won't have time to think about it once I'm done, but once I start to care about someone, those feelings tend to stick around for a while. I don't really know.

-Day 13) What kind of grades do you get in their class? Do your feelings affect it?

My grades are good. It's not a hard class (at least, he teaches in a way that doesn't make it feel like a class)

I'm not sure if my feelings affect my grades. I definitely get more anxious before a test cuz I wanna do well, though.

-Day 14) Does your TC ever do any tiny, little things that you adore? (Chuckling to themselves, hair flip, lip bite, etc.) describe it!

Ok. He occasionally does a lip bite and I've needed several ovary transplants from that. Rarely, but he'll roll the sleeves of his dress shirt up and, again, gorgeous arms so y e s. And something I've noticed he does a lot is grab at his belt buckle. I find it hot and since I'm kind of eye level with it most of the time, it's hard to ignore it now.

-Day 15) Are you their favorite student?

I'd certainly hope I'm at least higher up in the ranking, but I don't know if I'm his favorite.

-Day 16) Do you two share any tastes? Movies, books, music, etc.

We both like similar music, and appear to be interested in similar movies as well. I'm not sure about anything else, though. Similar taste in people, maybe?

-Day 17) Is your teacher religious?

I don't know for sure, but I don't think so.

-Day 18) Do you masturbate to them?

Nopeity nope nope nope. That's weird to me

-Day 19) Do you communicate with them outside of school?

I have before. It hasn't been strictly school-related, but it's also not really everyday conversation (it was mom and abuse related, so yeah)

-Day 20) Do you have any TC songs or songs you relate to your TC? What are they?

Colors by Halsey

Ocean Eyes by Billie Eilish

Dreaming of You by Cigarettes After Sex

Deny U by Superfruit

Symphony by Clean Bandit feat. Zara Larsson

Feeling Good by Michael Bublé

See Through by Pentatonix

Do I Wanna Know by Arctic Monkeys

Trouble by Halsey

Wow there's a lot more than I thought 😅

-Day 21) What’s your favorite thing your TC has said/memory you have with them?

It's related to the whole abuse thing. He told me, over shared cookies, that I didn't deserve to be in this situation, to be dealing with all this, that I should be somewhere so much better. He was so nice and calm and caring and it made me feel a lot better. There's others too but that's what came to mind.

-Day 22) Do you plan to continue a relationship with them after you leave school?

I would in a heartbeat, but honestly I don't know if I'll ever see him again once I graduate.

-Day 23) How will you deal during the summer? Will you see him/her?

Welp, I graduate after this year. So it's an eternal summer, I guess. I'm not sure how I'll deal, and I'm also not sure if I'll see him.

-Day 24) Does your TC support gay rights?

I believe so. We've never actually talked about it, though.

-Day 25) What class do you have with them? And what period? Do you have them every day?

I have AP Psychology, period 3C (middle of the day, roughly) every day. Only for about 40 minutes at a time, but it's enough for me.

-Day 26) Have you ever drifted out during a lecture thinking about them and missed information?

...sometimes..shut up

-Day 27) Have you stalked them online? What did you find out?

No, I refrained. I knew that would probably hurt me more than give me anything I wanted to know.

-Day 28) Have you ever run into them outside of school? What happened?

I haven't. I hope it happens though.

-Day 29) Has your TC ever spoken of teacher-student relationships? What did they say?

Not really, no.

-Day 30) Do you regret telling anyone about your TC? If you’ve kept it a secret, why have you done so?

I don't really regret telling anyone. I trust those I've told, and if I'd kept it to myself I might've legitimately exploded. It's less stressful having people to vent to.

-Day 31) Post a picture of your TC (or just write a description of them)

Yeah, no picture.

He's about 5'9-5'10, more olive-y skin, chocolate eyes I could stare at all day, super close cut brown hair. Wears glasses, outfits are either dress clothes or T-shirts and jeans (either is more than fine by me)

Generally happy. I like him lmao help me

#tc #tcc #teacher crush community #teacher crush #teacher x student #abuse mention #help