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heesdreamer · 1 year

Text

YOU MAKE ME

PAIRING ➩ heeseung x reader

SUMMARY ➩ struck with insomnia your entire life, you’ve taken to exploring the city restless all night. things change when you meet a tall boy with tired eyes and bruised knuckles

WARNINGS ➩ heeseung is lowkey crazy and obsessed with reader, parental death and abuse and implied violence, sexual scenes and commentary, mental health talk (especially insomnia)

WC ➩ 17k

AUTHORS NOTE ➩ (i lied lol part 2 soon) NOOO PART 2 plz don’t request im so serious i rlly love this story and it’s completed it has nothing else to add! im glad you guys enjoy my work enough to want more but when there is no feedback in ur comment and just “need part 2” when i spent so much time writing 13k+ words it makes me feel terrible lol. i rlly hope you love this as much as me (NOT PROOFREAD)

Your mother used to tell you that she thought you were born from a piece of the moon.

When you were old enough to understand her and her strange sayings, she’d tell you stories about how when you were a baby you’d never sleep through a night. She looked mystified as she explained to you the ways in which you’d gain energy every time the sun set, becoming whiny and ornery whenever she’d take you with her to run errands during the day.

She told you how you struggled in school for most of your early years, always being found curled up in your backpack cubby or under the slides at the playground because you hadn’t gotten enough sleep the night before.

You always were much more cynical than your mother, less of a dreamer and typically prone to aggravation or grumpy tired mumbles. She’d tell you your connection with the moon was a blessing, a lifelong friend for you and you’d retort back that it was a nuisance.

When your mom died you finally realized what she had meant for the first time. You spent nights awake, like usual, but now they were accompanied by nothing but the sounds of your low sobs and your father drinking himself stupid just below your bedroom. It wasn’t until you cracked open your bedroom window for some fresh winter air did you catch sight of the moon and finally feel it, finally feel the connection you’d always been told you had.

Years had passed now and while you didn’t cry every night anymore, you still rarely found yourself able to sleep through the night.

You’d also turned your back on the moon again now that you were older and still just as restless, sleeping throughout your classes and lacking any social life considering the way you wandered through the halls like a ghost with sunken eyes and dark circles.

It was frustrating to you that nothing seemed to be working, no amount of teas or yoga exercises. You’d gone as far as to take prescribed sleep medication, only working enough to make you more exhausted than you already were yet not putting you to rest like you were longing for.

Years of trying and you’ve mostly given up, accepted your condition and never once considered it the blessing your mother had tried to convince you it was.

Blessings wouldn’t leave your bones aching, they wouldn’t leave you slow blinking trying to understand what your teachers were saying or stumbling holding your lunch tray. Blessings surely wouldn’t have you stood in the middle of a dirty 7/11, clutching three bags of chips and a large slushee while you impatiently waited for the two people in front of you to move along.

You’d realized a few things by being a night owl, only ever interacting with people having the same issue as you or people who worked early enough that you’d pass by them on your way back to your house.

You’d taken to spending your nights awake out in the city, sick of staring at your ceiling or scrolling down the same boring timelines that carried nothing but the same content posted thousands of times with different wordings. So you started to explore at some point during high school, each night pushing yourself to wander further and find something interesting before heading back.

Sometimes you ended up at the river, sitting and watching drunk older men laugh with their friends like they were teenagers, catching the ends of failed dates as they walked home with their heels in their hands.

Other times you sat and drank coffee in the few 24 hour shops scattered around the city, sipping it slowly until it was cold and the added sugar was hardening at the bottom of your paper cup.

Most times however you simply found yourself stood in this exact position, holding your snacks of choice and tapping your foot impatiently while you waited for the drunk college students in front of you to stop joking around with the exhausted cashier and pay for their beers. It wasn’t that late yet, not quite the time of night that got you weird stares for wandering around in your pajamas.

You could hear the cashiers tired voice repeating their total to them, asking if they wanted to pay with cash or card and you sighed softly. You tilted to the side with an exaggerated sway so you could see over their laughing bodies, vaguely meeting eyes with the boy behind the counter before flopping back to your original position.

A heavy sigh was slipping out of your mouth before you even realized it and one of the drunk men turned back to look at you, an eyebrow cocked in offense as he let out a nasty laugh after taking you in.

You were pretty used to that reaction, standing in your plaid pajamas with your favorite bunny slippers and knitted hat. Your eyes were low and heavy with sleep deprivation, an annoyed glint to your expression that seemed to aggravate him further once the glare was set towards him.

“Are we bugging you Ms?” He was asking it in a mockingly sweet tone, clearly antagonizing you due to your impatience. You sighed again and your eyes drifted to the side for a moment in indifference, too exhausted to hold a conversation let alone argue with a grown man who didn’t know how to behave in a public setting.

“Yeah.. a little bit.” You were casually mumbling after a few beats of him and his friend staring at you, realizing now they weren’t going to just let you go without a response.

He was scoffing like it was the craziest thing he’d ever heard and you felt a little jolt of your inner alert system when he was taking a step towards you, his much larger frame slightly intimidating on top of the fact he was drunk and not thinking clearly.

He stopped early in his advances however and you were confused for a second before you registered the sound of the cashier clearing his throat, the two men turning back to look at him with an incredulous look. When you’d first gotten a glimpse of him he’d been bent over the counter, his elbows resting against it with a bored expression but now that he was standing up to his full height you faltered a bit at how tall he was.

The two men seemed to be thinking the same thing as you, suddenly hesitant in their childish behavior and awkwardly handing him a wadded up bill before taking their case of beer and staggering out of the convenience store.

“Thanks.” You were muttering and dumping your snacks out onto the counter, awkwardly catching one of the candy bars that bounced off a bag of chips and almost fell back onto the ground.

“No problem.” He was responding back with a small shrug and you glanced at him curiously, scanning his tired eyes down to the work uniform that didn’t fit him properly.

“You’re not Jake.” You were announcing and he faltered in his scanning, eyes widening a touch as he looked down at you. He was wearing a name tag but you came by often enough to know that it wasn’t his own, never having seen him before and growing used to the friendly smile the usual third shifter would give you every time you dragged yourself in.

“Uh.. no. I’m not, yeah you’re right.” He was awkwardly muttering back and you almost felt bad for calling him out so directly so you laughed a bit to ease the tension, just as awkward considering you weren’t used to extended social interaction this late at night. “He had a concert he couldn’t miss.. asked me to take over.”

You were nodding softly, mouth parting in understanding and awkwardly shuffling while the conversation quickly died into a weird silence. The sounds of your slippers against the tiled floor was scratchy and too loud for your taste, making you wince slightly at how embarrassing this whole interaction was.

“Are you getting paid?” You don’t know why you asked him another question, why you were carrying on a conversation when it’d been years since you’d had one randomly like this but you liked the way his big eyes flickered back up to you.

“Yeah of course.” He was breaking out into a wide grin at the mention of it, finishing scanning your snacks and looking at the register for a second like he’d forgotten what to do next. “I’m normally up all night anyways so I don’t mind much.”

This piqued your interest but you kept your face neutral, nodding softly and picking at the peeling leather of your wallet while you waited for him to give you your total. He was looking up at you again before he spoke and his eyes landed on your hat for a second, still smiling softly as he looked at the knitted bunny ears.

You cleared your throat and he stopped staring, stammering out how much it had cost you and you slid a few bills over to him while watching the way he fumbled around trying to get the register to open.

“Well… have a good night then.” You were mumbling to him while grabbing the plastic bags he was handing you over the clear divider, your fingers brushing against his warm knuckles for a second. “Not Jake.”

“Goodnight.” He was casually saying back and you wanted to correct him on his wording and tell him you didn’t sleep much either, tell him you understood filling your nights with mindless task and the dark circles under his big eyes. Instead you just bit the inside of your cheek and turned to leave. “Have fun wandering.”

——

You’d left early the next night, starting your walk around midnight instead of the usual 3am and you hurried down to the bus stop that would take you deep into the city. You pulled your headphones on tight and chewed on your lip as you waited for the stop you were planning to get off at.

When you got there, you were tugging on the stop signal line and standing up before the driver pulled the brakes. You swayed slightly when he came to a complete stop and you thanked him as you hopped off the high step, speed walking towards your destination and adjusting your bunny hat on your head before you passed through the doors.

The loud chime of the stores entrance bell rang uncomfortably loud through your ears and you winced at the volume, ducking behind one of the tall shelves and grabbing a few snacks at random before making your way over to the register.

Jake was there again now, giving you that familiar greeting smile and you couldn’t help but feel a small wave of disappointment. You weren’t sure why you thought the boy from last night would be back again considering he’d clearly told you he was just filling in for his friend but you frowned slightly and mumbled a greeting to the boy in front of you instead.

“You’re here early.” Jake was starting and you almost sighed. He was friendly and you admired how much energy he had but he often tried to engage in conversation with you whenever you came by, despite the annoyed glances you occasionally threw his way. “You almost missed me.”

You picked your head up at this, suddenly more alert and raising an eyebrow towards him in interest. As far as you knew, Jake was the only third shift worker and he must’ve barely started considering how early in the night it still was so he must’ve meant he was leaving before his usual time.

“Who’s going to watch the store then?” You were asking him and you tried to ignore how knowing the smile he was giving you was, laughing slightly at the fact you were suddenly interested in what he had to say for the first time ever.

“My best friend, Heeseung.” He was responding slowly and you faltered slightly, not knowing the boy from yesterday’s name so you didn’t want to get too excited over nothing. “He helped me out last night and said it was more interesting than he expected so he offered again.”

“He offered?” You were speaking before he even finished his last syllable and you flushed with embarrassment at the look he gave you, shuffling awkwardly on your feet and waiting for him to respond now that you confirmed it was the same person.

He didn’t say anything but he gave a soft hum of agreement and continued to swiftly bag your snacks, much more natural and efficient than his friend but you liked the way Heeseung stared at the register like it was an alien object. You were interested in him just from the small conversation you had, although feeling uncomfortable at the emotion considering it wasn’t something you usually felt.

You chalked it down to the fact he reminded you of yourself, not so much in his lazy smiles and casual demeanor but something about the way his tired eyes looked around.

Jake was opening his mouth again to speak and you looked up at him curiously but you both froze at the sound of the entrance bell ringing again, looking over to see the boy in question entering.

He froze when he saw the two of you staring at him, eyes falling to your hat and then down to your face which caused his to flicker with recognition. He cleared his throat and scratched the back of his neck, looking even taller now that he wasn’t standing behind the counter.

Heeseung was wearing a large hoodie pulled over his head and you could see the wires of his headphones going down into his shirt, tangled around his wrist that was clutching onto the strap of the backpack he was wearing. It was light looking and you weren’t sure if he had anything inside it or if he was just carrying it to give himself something to hold onto.

“Hey.” Jake was smiling at him and simultaneously handing you your plastic bag full of random snacks, hitting you with the reminder you had no real reason to stay in the store now despite the fact Heeseung had just arrived.

“Um.. thanks.” You were awkwardly muttering and taking it from him, shifting a few steps towards the door but stopping when you realized the tall boy was still standing in front of it and you had no way around him.

He was watching you still with a curious expression and you felt embarrassed suddenly, knowing Jake must have pieced together your reason for coming here so early and now he was watching you clam up and leave before you’d even gotten the chance to speak a word to the boy.

You were just standing there in silence, waiting for him to move and silently praying he would do you didn’t have to awkwardly shuffle around his large frame, when he suddenly was adjusting the backpack on his shoulders and clearing his throat while looking past you towards his friend.

“Change of plans. I’m busy tonight.” He was saying in a low determined voice and you could hear Jake sigh from behind you, your eyes widening slightly in confusion until the other boy was looking back at you with a small smile on his face. “Want to hang out with me?”

It took a few seconds for you to register he was actually asking you, staring up at him with an open mouth and stuttering for a moment before giving up on a verbal answer and nodding your head swiftly. He smiled even more at that and then he was waving goodbye to his friend, turning back around and holding the door open for you so you could quickly scurry out of it.

You weren’t too sure what to do, still feeling too nervous to speak clearly so you paused and waited to see if he would say something first. He didn’t but he lifted an eyebrow and gave you an expectant look, silently telling you that you were in charge of your destination for the night.

The pressure of a decision made you sigh softly and you gave him a weird look that made him chuckle, thinking for a moment before turning on your heel and walking away. He jogged slightly to catch up with you and you walked in comfortable silence for a few moments.

“Can I ask where we are going?” He was eventually mumbling, leaning down and towards you slightly so you could hear him at his low volume. Your lip curled up at the fact he was whispering for no reason.

“You don’t trust me?” You were asking him back and your teasing attitude seemed to catch him off guard for a second, raising his hands in mock defense and cocking an eyebrow in challenge.

“I do trust you actually, weirdly.” He paused and you could feel him looking sideways at you. You ignored his gaze and kept facing forward, following the sidewalk that was cutting through the park near the river. “Considering you don’t even know my name.”

You almost replied telling him that you did know his, that you’d been repeating it in your mind since Jake had informed you of it in the store but you figured that would be too forward and instead you just hummed softly. He didn’t ask you for your name, or even offer his and for some reason you had a feeling he already knew it.

Possibly asking Jake about you, an easy answer considering your unusual attire and late night arrival, and that being the reason behind the cashiers knowing smirk when you pushed through the glass door.

“Is this what you normally do?” He was talking again after a few more minutes of silent walking and this time, it was your turn to look at him from the side of your eye. “Walk around?”

“I don’t know.” You shrugged and you felt one of the bunny ears from your hat fall off your shoulder at the movement. You weren’t sure why you didn’t give him a straight forward answer, knowing perfectly well your usual routine.

It felt strange to be accompanied by somebody even though he wasn’t talking much, you could tell he was thinking and wanting to ask you things and as much as you were intrigued by him it was slightly unsettling you to be around somebody for this long.

You spent most your days isolated, not having anybody to talk to at home considering any attempt of conversation with your father usually ended poorly anyways, eventually giving up altogether unless he was grunting something to you every morning when you wandered back into the house.

At school it was relatively the same, or most times worse. You don’t think the other students necessarily meant to complete ice you out but nobody seemed to know how to talk to you after your mom died, at first being overly compassionate and eager to empathize with you vocally and then eventually fading off into small pitiful smiles when they met your tired eyes in the hallway or eyeing you when you came into class late with messy hair.

Heeseung didn’t seem to be giving you any of these looks, he looked confused by your behavior at times but it was accompanied by small smirks or friendly chuckles.

You once again wondered why he was awake right now, why he seemed like he was used to this setting as much as you and not like he was forcing himself to stay up for the sake of making a new friend. You were curious what he was thinking about and what lead him to ask you to hang out in the first place.

“Have you been to the coffee shop on 44th?” He was suddenly asking and breaking you from your train of thought, his voice still in a low whisper.

“Why are you being quiet?” You ignored his question and raised an eyebrow in his direction, tugging on your sleeve and watching the way he faltered slightly.

“Guess I’m not used to talking to somebody this late.” He was shrugging now and he almost looked embarrassed at your question, making you feel slightly guilty for making him uncomfortable.

It wasn’t that late yet, people were still wandering around from bars and late night dinners and you could hear the squeal of the bus brakes still running. The city was rarely ever dark, even in the parks near the bridge but the mood changed sometime around 4am and you felt like the trees were sleeping. Everything was still awake now however and Heeseung whispering was driving you a bit crazy.

“What about Jake?” You were asking him more now, trying to make conversation so he knew you didn’t mean any harm from your comment.

“Jake’s a freak of nature.” He was relaxing again at the mention of his friend, a smile naturally slipping back onto his face at the familiar topic. “You know he works this shift and still goes to school? He even plays football at Hope.”

The mention of your schools college made you freeze for a second, faltering in your step and causing him to look back at you with concern, turning his body so he could face you now that you were lagging behind him. He raised an eyebrow at you and you gave him a confused look.

“You guys go to Hope?” You were saying it slowly so he heard you clearly and his head cocked like a confused dog.

“I don’t, Jake is older than us.” His use of the word threw you off completely and he must’ve noticed because he let out an awkward laugh at your reaction, scratching his neck in embarrassment. “We’re in the same grade.”

“We like… as in me and you?” You rushed out and he nodded his head, hands coming up in panic when you let out a low groan of guilt.

“It’s okay, don’t worry! I didn’t recognize you at first either, it’s a big class.” He was rambling to try and make you feel better about the fact you didn’t even realize he was your classmate, his comfortable behavior suddenly making more sense. You’d definitely never spoken to him but the fact he’d seen you around such a familiar place would make more sense towards why he was so willingly to walk around with you in the middle of the night.

“I’ve been there since Kindergarten.” You blurted out with wide eyes, exclaiming loudly in pure shock that you’d been so oblivious.

“Me too..” He was awkwardly offering with a wince like he knew it would just make the situation worse that’d you’d been classmates for over a decade.

You raised your sweater covered hands up to your face and groaned loudly, pulling your bunny ears in front of your eyes so you didn’t have to look at his sheepish expression anymore. You could hear him laughing softly at how dramatic you were being and you moved one ear to the side to send him a half glare.

“It’s really okay.” He was laughing out and you could see his soft smile from your one uncovered eye, watching him with a flushed face and growing embarrassment the more amused he became. “It’s not like you’re there much anyways.”

He was saying it casually, like he hadn’t even thought about it before it came out of his mouth but you both froze up at the same time at his accidental admission. You slowly moved your ears to the side and raised an eyebrow at him, leaning your upper half forward slightly and trying not to smile at the fact he was now the one flushing in embarrassment.

“So you notice me?” You were dragging out the words and your lip curled up in amusement, racking through your mind for times you’d seen the tall boy and coming up blank. In your defense, your entire school catalogue section of your brain was completely empty and that included cute boys with giant backpacks.

“I mean… well it’s just like… it’s not like I was stalking you or anything.” He was rambling on and moving his hands around a lot like he was really trying to prove his point, going back to awkwardly scratching at his neck when you gave him a disbelieving look.

“Heeseung.” You cut him off and he paused for a second in surprise, making you realize you’d just said his name without ever asking him for it.

He seemed to relax at that, knowing you also knew more about him than you were previously letting on and his shoulders lowered now that he was less tensed. He looked like he wanted to speak again but you felt embarrassed suddenly and took a few steps forward slowly, waiting for him to get the memo that you wanted to continue on your walk.

The two of you fell back into another spout of silence, awkward at first and then more comfortable as you got deeper into the city. It was more relaxed accompanied by the sounds of people laughing and cars honking their horns, kitchen staff wishing each other goodnight as they left different restaurants and swapped signs over to closed.

You were glancing over at Heeseung after a while and you studied him for a moment while he wasn’t paying attention, his big eyes looking around the city with the same expression you assumed you often had. No matter how many times you came down here, you always felt the exact same.

You always had this longing to capture the moment in some sort of way, giving up on photographs and videos quickly into your new habit considering they simply never were able to fully express how it felt. You tried writing about it, talking about the city always felt awake and how it unsettled you in a way that felt like a friendly challenge and not like your world flipping upside down.

“Where do you go?” You were asking him before you even realized it, watching his side profile as his big eyes opened wide for a second at the sudden sound of your voice and then darted right to look at you.

He seemed to think for a second and then he answered slowly. “I don’t know actually. Just here I guess, I just like to be here I think.”

The two of you watched each other for a few beats, holding the others gaze and you liked the way the neon signs behind you were reflecting off his round dark eyes. It was like a little piece of the city was frozen inside them and you almost said that to him before swallowing it, realizing how creepy it would sound out loud.

You didn’t say much else for the rest of the night, wandering around a bit more before eventually settling at one of the small parks near the center of the main area of downtown. You sat in silence like that, you pulling out your notebook that had few words and many sketches and Heeseung playing with the strings of his headphones as he listened to music.

You could faintly hear it coming from them, loud enough to reach you a few feet away and you considered telling him he was able to play it out loud if he wanted to but for some reason you felt like it was private, leaving him to listen by himself.

When the night was slowly changing into that familiar blue color, the stage right in the center of night and day when everything is coated in the indigo filter, you were standing up off the ground and dusting off your pants. Heeseung was looking up at you due to your sudden movement and you stood over him, offering him a hand so you could pull him up.

It was mainly his own strength put into moving his weight forward considering he was a lot taller than you and you were quite weak due to your lack of sleep, but he seemed to appreciate the friendly gesture and gave you a small smile after he was back on his feet.

“What bus do you take?” He was asking you on your way back to the 7/11 and you felt him looking at the side of your face.

“15.” You answered slowly, your voice softer now as the exhaustion started to seep in. You were suddenly grateful it was a weekend, the social interaction leaving you more tired than normal and hopefully giving you the opportunity to sleep an hour or two. “You?”

“Same, but Jake is bringing me home with him today.” He was mumbling and nodded your head, picking at the skin around your nails and feeling more guilt at the fact you’d never seen him on the bus before either. “Did you want a ride home?”

His question was surprising you and your eyes widened, looking at him and seeing the concern pass over his face at your sudden change of demeanor. You were shaking your head quickly, ears swooshing around your head and you raised a hand to shake it, really emphasizing your denial.

You couldn’t imagine your fathers reaction to you being brought home by a car, especially one that contained two teenage boys in the front seat. It already took him long enough to stop punishing you for leaving at night, eventually giving up on denying you your freedom once you started to pace around the house all night instead.

“Alright, no problem.” He said quickly and you were glad he didn’t push the topic although you could tell he wanted to, a curious look on his features. Heeseung seemed to have a habit of clearly showcasing his emotions and you were grateful considering it made him easier to understand but frustrated when it was a look of pity or sympathy on his face.

You didn’t say anything when he continued to walk with you past the convenience store, walking side by side on the sidewalks even as they thinned out as you slightly left the city area.

He still didn’t speak again even when you both stood together and waited for the bus to arrive, him leaning against the plastic material covering the stops bench and you standing outside of it so the driver didn’t just blow right past you, not expecting somebody out this late.

It was you that finally turned towards him once you caught sight of the bus approaching, tugging on one of your ears awkwardly and shuffling your feet while you waited for it to get closer. You could hear it squealing to a stop, the doors creaking open while he looked at you with a raised eyebrow.

“I’m…” His stare was throwing you off and you started to falter in your words while nervously looking behind you towards the driver who was waiting. “I’ll be here tomorrow around the same time so… if you wanted to.. or if like..”

You trailed off with a sigh but he seemed to get the general idea, a small smile on his face as he dipped his head down slightly in a conforming nod, relief washing over you at the fact he hadn’t found your indirect invitation weird or out of place. You raised your hand in a wave goodbye and he returned, watching you as you pulled your headphones over your hat and ears and boarded the bus swiftly, softly thanking the driver for waiting and finding a seat towards the back.

You could see him outside the window as you pulled off, still leaning against the booth and watching the bus as it left until it rounded the corner. You flushed at the fact he had walked you to your stop despite needing to return back to the city area to get a ride from Jake, not even hesitating when you passed by the store earlier.

It was exciting to be interested in somebody or even something at all, rarely feeling too extreme of emotions considering how dull and hazy everything became with your repeated exhausted routine. Not even your father, sprawled on the couch and surrounded by empty beer cans, could damper your mood as you entered your small house.

It took you a long time, hours staring at your ceiling with a half wandering mind but you eventually managed to get a little bit of sleep, thoughts of Heeseung and his wired headphones accompanying you.

——

The routine continued like this for awhile and you slowly got accustomed to it, now expecting to see him every time you boarded the bus and he was already there waiting for you with his large backpack saving you the seat beside him.

Sometimes you didn’t talk, walking in silence for hours or finding a nice place to sit and do your own individual activities side by side. Other nights you struck up small conversation, talking about the city and your favorite places to go and every once in a while delving into deeper categories that slowly chipped away at the uncomfortable feeling that always came along with attempting to trust somebody.

Heeseung was nice to you and you liked that about him as selfish as it sounded. He never expected you to answer his questions and he rarely pried, around the second day he had even started to pull out snacks from his backpack and hand them over to you after he opened them.

It was a bit into meeting now and he was walking you back to the bus stop, large hands tightly holding onto the straps of his backpack like they always were. He had lots of little habits like that and you carefully filed them all away in your memory. Sometimes he boarded the bus with you but others he just walked with you down there before leaning against the booth and waiting for you to round the corner.

Sometimes you wanted to ask him where he lived, he had to be further away from the city than you considering he was always on the bus before you at the start of the night but that would put him at even more of a distance from your school than you were already at.

Speaking of school, you’d yet to see him around the building and you surprised yourself by actually keeping an eye out throughout the day. You were scanning your tired eyes around the cafeteria and turning your dizzy head in classrooms to see if he was present but you’d not caught sight of him yet and you felt weird about asking where he was.

Maybe he didn’t want to be friends outside of the few hours of the night you spent together, time almost nonexistent here. You felt like the world was frozen most nights you spent with him around the city and you figured he must prefer that aspect versus actually interacting with you in the daytime where other people could see.

You were too distracted in your thoughts that you didn’t even realize your brain was auto-piloting and boarding onto the bus before you even checked if he was coming along, going to turn around to see and completely missing the first large step off the ground. You fell forward and you imagined your side would’ve painfully landed directed on the jagged edges of the steps but you didn’t get a chance to find out, suspending in mid air considering Heeseung had jolted forward to grab onto you.

You could feel his hand wrapped around your side, the other placed in the middle of your shoulder blades so he could support your weight without falling forward himself. Your eyes were wide from almost hurting yourself and you flushed bright red at the concerned look on his face, helping you back to a standing position but keeping his hand on your waist even after you were fully stable.

The bus driver was clearing his throat and Heeseung glanced behind him awkwardly like he was originally not meant to get on the bus, but he turned back towards you and took a step onto the same one you were standing on.

It didn’t pass by you that this was the closest you’d ever been to him, normally keeping a few feet between you when you found a place to sit for the night and rarely ever being close enough to bump shoulders while walking side by side. Now, since he was stood on the same small step as you, you were practically pushed up against him while his hand was still gently against your side despite not having a reason to hold onto you anymore.

He was leaning forward, his chest pressing against you more and you awkwardly looked down at his feet instead of focusing on how tall he was at this distance, and you vaguely registered the fact he was paying for both of your bus tickets.

He seemed to catch on to the fact you were out of it a bit and losing focus, his hand pushing into your side slightly to let you know it was time to fully enter the bus and find your seats. You expected him to let you go once you entered the thin aisle but he didn’t and even when he was stood behind you walking towards the back, he kept his hand around your waist like he was guiding you.

It was removed once you took your seats and you found yourself still able to feel it for some reason, the feeling burned into your mind as he awkwardly cleared his throat and scratched at the back of his neck again.

You glanced over at him and his nervous demeanor, his hands fidgeting with his ripped pants now like he was also still reeling from the feeling of touching you so randomly. His hair was messy like normal but it was getting longer now, falling forward into his eyes so you couldn’t quite see what his expression was. You watched him as he put his headphones in but you leaned forward slightly to confirm that he wasn’t actually playing any music.

“Did you have somewhere to be?” You were asking him softly and then repeating it louder when you realized his headphones might block out some of your volume.

He looked at you with a raised eyebrow and took the one closest to you out of his ear, wrapping it around the outside instead and thinking for a second before he gave you an answer.

“Not necessarily.” He was mumbling back but sighing softly when you gave him a disbelieving look. “Okay well kind of but I want to get you home first.”

“I barely tripped.” You were rolling your eyes at him being overly concerned but the flush in your face gave you away and he laughed softly.

“Maybe I just wanted to hang out with you a little bit longer.” He was shrugging and turning his head to look at you better, smiling more at the way you squeezed your shoulders together and awkwardly glared forward at the floor.

“We could always hang out in school.” You were offering after a few beats of silence and you immediately regretted it, not sure how it even managed to escape your lips considering you’d already told yourself you weren’t going to question him.

His initial reaction didn’t give anything away to you, face remaining blank like he hadn’t put much thought into it but you noticed his hands starting to pick at the tape wrapped around his headphone wire and you felt guilty for bringing it up. You were about to back track and tell him to forget about it or change the subject but he was humming softly.

“I think that’d be nice.” He was saying it casually but there was a nervous edge to his voice and your mouth was downturned slightly. “Where do you eat lunch at?”

“Near the side doors.” You were answering smoothly although you left out the fact you more so used the free half an hour for a quick nap instead of actually eating. “You?”

“The library.” He was saying it hesitantly like he wasn’t sure if he should lie or not, knowing full well there was a no eating policy in that section of the school and you’d realize he wasn’t actually eating at lunch either. You both paused for a second in heavy silence before you were snorting a laugh.

“So you’re a loser basically?” Your comment was teasing and he visibly relaxed at your reaction, chuckling softly and nudging you with his thin shoulder.

“Sorry to disappoint Ms. Popular.” He was retorting back and you were glad to see the small smile return to his face and stay there now that you’ve both established this change in routine.

You wondered if he’d been thinking about it too, keeping an eye out for you or if he was actively avoiding you throughout the hallways like you’d previously thought. Maybe he figured the same as you, that you wouldn’t want to be suddenly seen with him or you wouldn’t acknowledge him and it would ruin the friendship you were slowly building.

When you got off the bus it was nice to see him still there, trying not to wince at how close the stop was to your house and how if it didn’t pull off immediately he’d see you walk up to the overgrown grass with windows titled off their hinges.

You tried not to think about it and after you gave him a small wave through the window you turned on your heel and kept your face forward, steely in your resolve to not spare him another nervous glance. This time you father didn’t seem to be home and you were grateful for that considering you had a feeling you were absolutely radiating with how much you were thinking about the boy.

It was hard to go to sleep, even more so than normal, with the ghost of his hand pressed again you and the knowledge that tomorrow you now knew where to find him. It was up to the two of you to decide if you used this information or ignored it and you weren’t sure which route he was hoping you’d take.

——

“I thought you’d forgotten about me for a second there.” Heeseung’s low voice was hitting your ears the second you crossed into the library and you let out a sigh of relief upon seeing him.

You were worried for the first half of the day that it would be awkward, that you wouldn’t know what to say to each other and it would ruin everything you’d be enjoying so much, but you knew from the second he spoke that you’d made the right choice in coming to find him.

“I was about to give up.” You scowled at him and placed your bag down on the back of the chair, climbing up and sitting across from him at the high top round table in the back of the library. “You’re hard to track down.. plus the librarian kept glaring at me every time I passed her desk like I was trying to steal her books.”

“She’s probably just used to only seeing me.” He was explaining with a small smirk at your complaining and you frowned at him softly while taking a second to take him in.

You weren’t sure why you expected him to look different during the day time, feeling a bit stupid now that you looked at him and he looked exactly the same. Almost exactly, outside of how much more exhausted he looked now that he was running on even less sleep, his hair was messier than it was around 2am and he was nervously looking around.

Heeseung was always handsome to you, despite the fact you tried to pretend you didn’t think so the first few times you hung out, but you noticed things about him under the school lights that you had missed outside in the near dark.

For one, he had his eyebrow pierced. You’re not exactly sure how you managed to not notice that considering you were currently frozen to your seat as you saw it gleaming against the light when he turned his head to look at you in confusion.

He looked embarrassed at the fact you were staring at him so intensely and he brought a hand up to mess with his bangs, the face jewelry disappearing back behind his hair and showcasing why you failed to see it before. His hand had bandaids on a few of his fingers and you almost asked him about them until he tucked them back into his hoodie sleeves.

“You don’t eat?” He was clearing his throat and asking you in a low tone, leaning forward slightly to ensure that you could hear him.

You were shaking your head softly and then shrugging, almost becoming awkward enough to regret coming. “Foods no good here anyway.”

He watched you for a few seconds and you were curious what he was thinking, if he was making similar observations as you. You were suddenly reminded you couldn’t wear your bunny hat to school and it might be the first time he’s seen you without it, seen how dark your under eyes are and how dry and chapped your lips become this time of year.

You didn’t like that you thought about this, didn’t like that you cared about what he was thinking about your appearance.

“We could go get some food after school.” He was suggesting it with a shrug but his eyes were watching you intensely with a hint of hesitance, almost like he was expecting you to say no.

You felt like your breath caught for a few seconds, holding tightly in your chest and you hoped your eyes didn’t widen too much at his suggestion. He was still watching you but his eyes softened slightly at your surprised expression, amused that you seemed just as nervous as he was about this change of pacing.

“Are you paying?” You were eventually wheezing out after a few seconds, letting the words tumble out at the same time your big gulp of air did.

His smile was familiar, the same one he gave you when he caught you staring at him in the park for a sketch reference, the same one he would offer everytime you’d skip onto the bus and grin once you caught sight of him saving your seat. You thought it looked even better in the sunlight.

——

You tried not to think about how weird it was that you and Heeseung left school together, side by side and bumping into each other while navigating the hoard of students all trying to squeeze out of the doors to escape the building.

You wondered if anybody else thought it was weird, if anyone paid enough attention to you in recent years to wonder who the tall boy next to you was. The boy who was currently snaking a hand down to your side like he had at the bus, gently guiding you through a gap in the crowd so you could get outside faster than it would be to stand and wait.

Your face was flushing bright red but he luckily seemed to focused on getting out of the mass of people to realize, eyebrows furrowed in a stressed out expression.

He didn’t remove his hand even after you’d gotten out of the tight pile of bodies, keeping it there comfortably but you knew by the heavy silence that you both were aware it wasn’t anything normal for him to do. You almost couldn’t tell, almost convinced yourself this was his typical behavior and you’d somehow just not realized it, but when you caught his eye and he quickly looked away with a small pink to his cheeks you knew it wasn’t.

Little things were different during daytime hours but not enough to make your head completely spin, giving you that familiar overwhelmed feeling that left you taking deep breaths in the bathroom stall.

The bus was actually full of people for once, only one seat left in the middle of the aisle and Heeseung hurriedly sat you down on it before it was taken. He was standing above you holding onto the pole near the top of the ceiling and you would’ve felt bad he had to do that so you could sit if it wasn’t for the small glances and grins he was sending down your way every time he caught you staring.

When you reached further into the city, somewhere you didn’t fully recognize but he must’ve considering the was leaning forward towards you and tugging on the stop rope, you both thanked the driver and left the bus.

You tried not to be disappointed when he didn’t hold onto you again, silently cursing yourself for feeling that way anyways and pushing it down. You took your backpack off your shoulders as you walked and held it in front of you, fishing for something inside with an annoyed sigh after a few seconds passed without feeling it.

Eventually the familiar fabric was grazing your fingers and you smiled softly as you pulled out your hat and situated it over your head again, pulling a few pieces of hair out in the front and glancing over at Heeseung who had been watching you.

“Woah Y/N, when’d you get here?” He was mock gasping, a hand coming up to cover his mouth and stumble back on the sidewalk like you had surprised him.

You grumbled at his antics and elbowed him in the side, trying to pretend your heart didn’t pick up in pace when he laughed loudly at your reaction and grabbed onto your jacket so he didn’t go tumbling into the street from your small shove. He didn’t let go for a few seconds even after he was steadied, rubbing the materiel between his fingers before dropping it.

You wondered if he was always this touchy with people or if he had just grown comfortable with you fast considering the strange and slightly intimidate circumstances you’d been hanging out under.

He was walking side by side with you but you were following his lead, still not exactly sure where he was bringing you to. You fell back into a comfortable silence like you always did as you traversed the city and you felt a little bit dizzy due to exhaustion and the bright glare of the sun.

It only worsened when you were rounding a corner, passing by a large building that was originally blocking your view of the next street over, and you caught sight of a familiar back that caused you to freeze in your tracks.

Heeseung took a few steps forward before realizing you weren’t continuing and he turned back to look at you with a concerned expression, approaching you again and standing in front of you. His large frame was blocking your view now but you slowly leaned over to look past him and immediately shot back to hide behind his chest and wince.

“What’s wrong?” He was rushing out and his eyebrows were furrowed with worry, a hand coming up but stopping just short of your arm like he wasn’t sure he was supposed to touch you.

“I-I have to go.” You were rushing out and you felt embarrassed underneath your panic, hands shaking slightly and you swallowed harshly.

He was frowning and turning his body to look behind him and try to see whatever had spooked you, immediately whipping back around due to the fact him moving had allowed you to see the man again, this time facing your direction with a suspicious look on his face. You imagined it was due to the fact Heeseung was just standing in the middle of the sidewalk but your heart started to race so hard it was painful at the chance he had seen you.

“Who is that?” Heeseung was, thankfully, getting the idea slowly and lowering his face as he spoke to you. You didn’t answer immediately and he was bending down so he was closer to your face, his hand finally connecting to your arm and cupping the back of your elbow. “Y/N, who is that?”

“It’s my dad.” You whispered back in a harsh tone and you’re not sure why you said it, never talking about family or each others parents before and never planning to.

Heeseung paused for a second and then his eyes were darkening like he had figured something else out, you felt humiliated knowing he must be piecing together every strange reaction you’ve ever had to the suggestion of being brought home by Jake or for him to walk you to your door.

He was glancing behind him again and a small noise of protest slipped out of your mouth, your hands coming up to land on his chest and scrunch his hoodies fabric up in your hands. He was looking back at you quickly and his eyes softened at the scared expression on your face but could still see anger swimming in his.

You weren’t sure if Heeseung was a violent person, thinking there was no way it was possible for the boy who was as sweet to you as he was unprompted, to ever willingly harm somebody but you’d also never given him any reason to be mean or treat you poorly. You thought about his bandaged hands for a second and then immediately felt guilty for doing so.

“Let me take you home.” He was saying after a few seconds and you shook your head, too overwhelmed to think clearly for a second. “Baby, let me take you home.”

The pet name snapped you out of it and you looked up at him, feeling more and more humiliated by the second at the fact your eyes were watering and you were still anxiously bunching his hoodie in your hands.

“T-the bus is too slow, he’s just now leaving the liquor store but he has a car and by the time we walk back and get on and it makes all the stops it’ll be too late and-“ You were speaking a mile a minute and you felt his hand squeeze your arm before he cut you off.

“I’m parked around the corner.” He rushed out in an attempt to stop you so you could take a breath, freezing and furrowing your eyebrows in confusion when you registered what he was saying. He winced slightly at your reaction and a weird feeling passed through your chest. You were raising your hands off of his chest before slamming them back down against him in annoyance, ignoring the small pained sound he made.

“You idiot.” You spat out at him in a harsh whisper, shaking your head and glaring up at his guilty face. “You’ve had a car this entire time?”

He looked sheepish and you suddenly felt very stupid for somehow missing this, and then slightly flattered and embarrassed that he had been riding the bus with you every single day despite being parked in the opposite direction. It made sense now to you why he was sometimes hesitant to board, unlocking the knowledge that he had been riding it all the way back alone after you’d gotten off.

“Not the entire time.” He was trying to explain himself but you could tell he was lying slightly. “It was in the shop the first time we met, that’s why Jake drove me home.”

You sighed and glared at him again but you weren’t actually mad, just slightly upset that he had been inconveniencing himself this much for some reason you didn’t quite understand.

“I just wanted an excuse to spend more time with you.” He was offering an explanation before you even had a chance to ask him and your expression softened at the reasoning, hands flatting out against him in a silent apology for hitting him.

“You’re still an idiot.” You were mumbling but your voice held no malice and he smiled at the fact he was clearly forgiven. Things felt tensioned again now that the conversation died down and you were both suddenly reminded of the fact you were touching each other and standing nearly toe to toe. “I really do have to go.”

“And I really will take you.” He was whispering back with a stressed sincerity and you frowned from the guilt of both making him drive you and not eating together like you had planned.

Heeseung was guiding you back around the buildings corner slowly, backing you up and shuffling forward with you so you didn’t need to step out from behind his chest and risk being seen. You were pouting as you awkwardly walked backwards and it remained on your face even when you were able to face forward like normal and follow him to where he had parked his car.

His car looked pretty much exactly how you figured it would, low to the ground and chipping paint in different sections of it but it was very him and you laughed softly when you remembered how ridiculous it was that he’d had one this entire time.

He seemed embarrassed when you got into the passenger seat, looking into the backseat to check if it was messy and rearranging the different CD’s that were sitting on top of his center console. You moved them over to your lap and started to mess with them while he pulled off the curb.

“Basement, Title Fight,” You were humming softly while flipping through them and reading out the artist titles, ignoring the way he was sending you nervous side glances between looking at the road. “Elliot Smith.. is this what you’re always playing in your headphones?”

“Too cliche?” He was retorting back and you scrunched your nose when you looked up at his side profile, a small smirk playing on his lips at your amusement.

“The fact you even keep CD’s still is kind of cliche.” You were throwing back to him and he glanced at you to smile fully and shake his head, watching the way you were leaned against his car door and casually looking through his stuff for a second before going back to focusing on the road.

“You still like me even though I listen to scratched CD’s and drive a 2002 shit bucket?” He was responding and you both paused.

His wording didn’t miss you but you weren’t sure if it was intentional or not, also unable to tell if he was speaking in a platonic way or if he was genuinely asking you if you liked him romantically. His mouth was parting like he was trying to think of a way to backtrack and you cleared your throat before he could, leaning forward to push a CD into the radios slot.

He didn’t say anything for a few seconds and you let the song play for a beat or two before you were leaning back into his torn leather seats and glancing at him again.

“Yeah.. I still like you.” Your voice was lower than it was before, barely filtering over the sound of the music building up but you knew he managed to catch it considering the way he was biting the inside of his cheek and avoiding looking in your direction for the rest of the ride.

He didn’t need to ask you for the way to your neighborhood considering he’s been riding past it 4 times a day but he glanced at you for help when you entered the street and you leaned forward to point towards your house. Your dads car wasn’t in the driveway and you breathed a sigh of relief when he pulled up near the curb.

You didn’t think too much about the state of disarray your home was in this time, for some reason not minding if he saw how messed up things were for you. The feeling had settled into your stomach that he wouldn’t care, that he wasn’t going to give you a sorry look or treat you differently.

He was surprising you by opening his door before you’d gotten out and you watched him round the hood with confusion, flushing when he came over to your side to open yours for you and hold it while you scrambled out. You leaned against the door once he had closed it behind you and he stood in front of you like he had on the sidewalk, his dirty sneakers pressing against the toe of yours.

“So…” You were dragging out the word and trailing off nervously, looking up at him through your eyelashes and thinking about how cute he looked peering down at you.

“So.” His lips were curling up in a smirk at your lack of words and you frowned at the expression, reaching up to pinch at his arm and keep it there when he let out a low chuckle. His hand was coming up to touch your bunny hat and you laughed softly at the way he pushed it behind your shoulder, almost like it was a piece of your hair.

“We shouldn’t be talking here.” You told him in a low voice, not wanting to speak any louder considering how close his face was getting to yours. “My dad would kill me if he saw you.”

“Right.” He was nodding but he wasn’t taking a step back or making any move that indicated he was going to leave, just watching you and you could feel his arm tense underneath your touch. “Do you want me to go?”

You were shaking your head swiftly although you knew he needed to, you liked his company and you found yourself missing him every time you were away for too long. You somehow managed to have fun today despite the fact you’d almost had a panic attack upon seeing your dad and how awkward it had felt to search for him in the school.

“I should go.” He was sighing even though you had said you didn’t want him to, thinking logically despite obviously also not wanting to leave. He was leaning forward again and for a second you could feel his chest pushed up against yours before he swayed back like he hadn’t done it.

Your heart felt heavy at the fact he was going to leave you there, in such a rotten place that left you restless and miserable, but you were slightly humiliated by the large frown on your face. Before you could think about it, in an attempt to hide your expression, you were pulling him forward by his hoodie sleeve and wrapping your arms around him in a tight hug.

He hesitated for a few seconds, just from the surprise of the contact, and then he was slowly wrapping his long arms completely around you and keeping you pulled tightly to his chest. You could feel him take a deep breath, surrounded by his warmth and burying your face into the soft fabric of his oversized hoodie, listening to his heart beat increase slightly when you squeezed him for a second.

You were pulling back after a few seconds, leaning into the car again and you knew your face must’ve been flushed red with a dazed look in your eyes considering the way he faltered and smiled sheepishly at you.

“Well.. I have to go.” You were rushing out to him and he nodded, taking a step back so you were able to walk away without having to push past his large frame.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” His voice was lower than normal and carrying a slight rasp that made something flip around in your gut, trying not to look at him as you quickly waved and scurried away up your front path and into the doorway.

You stood there, back pressed against your front door now that it was closed, and took deep breaths to try and calm yourself down as you listened to his car pull off. A smile was building itself up on your face despite being slightly embarrassed over your bold move and you felt like a cloud of giddiness was following you around.

“So that’s what you sneak off to do every night?” Your entire body froze up in shock and you immediately stopped in place, bones going rigid and blood running cold at the sound of your fathers slurred voice coming from the living room.

Any sense or happiness or calm Heeseung had brought you was immediately disappearing and replaced with terror at the realization he was home, and had clearly seen you through the window before you came inside. You were stuck in silence and you could feel the dark tension radiating off of him although you couldn’t even see him yet.

“You’re out there embarrassing me, making a mess of our name.” He was hissing and you watched him rise from his arm chair and come out of the shadows like a fairytale monster, cowering in on yourself like you were a little girl again. “Whoring around with that delinquent.”

“N-no dad, I promise it isn’t like that I just-“ He was cutting you and your stutters off, slamming his hand down against the wall near your head and you closed your eyes in a wince, listening to the way the framed photos rattled on the wall.

A few seconds passed and you were holding your breath, waiting for him to continue to insult you and tell you what you had done wrong but when the tension continued to grow you realized he was more angry than you thought. You felt your hands hit the floor before you felt the pain in your cheek, not even realizing he had hit you for a few seconds because of the shock.

He’d hit you before but it was rare in recent years, not wanting to risk you showing up to school with a black eye or bruised cheek.

Your hand was coming up to cup the side of your face, shaking against your skin and feeling how hot and swollen it already was from his large calloused palm. You didn’t want to look at him and see his sneering face, instead staring forward at the way your bunny hat had flown off on impact and landed a few feet away on the floor.

“No more going out at night.” He was spitting the words down at you, curled into a ball against the wall on the floor and willingly away the pain under your palm. “I’ll put a padlock on your door if I have to.”

With that, he was staggering back into the darkness of the living room and you could hear the groan of the armchair under his weight. You sat there for a few more seconds, frozen and making sure it was clear for you to move before you were scurrying up the stairs and grabbing your hat as you passed by.

When you got to your room you threw it into the corner and collapsed onto your bed in a fit of sobs, burying your face deep into your pillow and crying so hard you thought you might just explode.

You felt even worse for the reason you were crying, not because you’d gotten caught or punished and not because your father was upset with you. You cried over the fear of not being able to see Heeseung anymore, the idea of never being able to safely return to the city at night causing you such distress you continued to sob until your throat was sore and your chest ached.

The sun was setting eventually and your room was darkening, never having the light switch turned on and just letting the night take over every single day, but you failed to notice considering how burrowed under the covers in your own misery you were.

You didn’t mean to care about somebody this deeply, having sworn against it after your mother passed and you were left with a shell of a man, your father becoming half the person he was with grief and never bothering to heal himself for your sake. You’d spent recent years tiptoeing around the house and trying to show as little evidence as possible that you existed, part of the reason he didn’t fully mind you disappearing at night or sleeping all day.

You felt stupid but getting caught with Heeseung after so narrowly escaping your father in the city, completely letting your guard down and being foolish because of your feelings.

But the other part of you didn’t care, you deserved to be giddy and act stupid because you liked somebody and his reaction wasn’t your fault.

Thinking of Heeseung made you remember he’d probably be waiting for you tonight and you started to cry harder again. You were worried he’d over think about your intimacy and small confession today and mistake you not showing up to the bus stop as you rejecting him, retreating back into yourself and leaving him alone like he had been before your night time meetings.

You must’ve dozed off from crying and the stress of the day, only waking up with dry skin and swollen eyes when you started to register a faint repeated noise.

You were sitting up with a puffy pout and looking around in a dazed confusion, at first because you couldn’t identify it and then even more so because you realized it was coming from your window. You staggered out of bed to open it and stop the noise and you let out a gasp, ducking and just barely missing being hit by a small stone that flew into your room.

“Fuck.” A voice down below was whispering and you glanced down to see Heeseung stood at the side of your house with his hoodie pulled up over his head. “Did I hit you? I’m sorry.”

You felt panic grow in your chest at the sight of him although you were happy to see that you had a chance to explain what had happened, glancing behind you in fear before turning again to glare at him from the second floor.

“You can’t be here.” You hissed out and he gave you a guilty look, like he knew you were going to say that but couldn’t help himself anyways. You let out a small sigh and you eyes softened at his expression. “I told you he was going to kill me.”

You didn’t need to say it for him to understand that your dad must’ve been home and you saw his face darken again like it had earlier, feeling thankful that you were too high up and it was too dark for him to see the bruise that must have been forming on your face now.

“Is he awake?” He was whispering back after a few seconds and you paused at his unexpected question.

He didn’t say anything when you held up a finger to indicate you’d be back, tiptoeing back to the other side of your room and cracking open the door. You held your breath so you could hear every noise clearly and you waited until the sound of his snores filtered up the stairs to you, confirming he had drank himself unconscious again and was out for the night. You still didn’t want to risk sneaking out and having him wake up and you walked back to your window with a heavy heart.

“He’s out but-“ You were starting to explain you couldn’t come along when Heeseung was nodding and walking towards the front of your house, your eyebrows furrowing in confusion as you called his name softly. He turned back to look at you and you raised your hands in bewilderment. “What are you doing?”

“Let me in.” He whisper yelled back and gave you a look like it was an obvious thing for you to do, smiling slightly when your astonished face only deepened.

You were groaning when he disappeared around the side of the house and you left your room before you had a chance to think about it more, sneaking down the stairs as silently as possibly and trying not to let out a breath when you passed by the entrance to the living room.

It was strange to see Heeseung on your porch when you cracked open the front door, even stranger when he took a step inside your hallway and you took him in against the familiar setting. You hadn’t had somebody inside your house in years and you were thankful that he kept his gaze tightly on you and didn’t look around at the mess.

You brought a finger to your lips and indicated towards the living room where your dad was, a loud snore coming from him at that exact moment and causing you to jump where you stood. Heeseung was bringing a hand up to your arm in an attempt to calm you and he nodded in understanding that he needed to keep quiet.

When you took a step on the first stair you winced and glanced back at him, knowing his weight and tall frame would make it groan louder than normal.

Still, you took his hand in yours and let it hang behind you as you gently led him up the old wood and into the hallway that would lead to your bedroom. He still didn’t speak once you entered it and for a second you were worried he would ask you to turn the lights on, thankful when he finally took a deep breath and glanced around at your belongings.

“So this is where she returns to.” He was muttering under his breath and you felt a little embarrassed as he took in your room.

Not as embarrassed as you felt when he was looking back at you intensely, you figured he could see you better now that you were closer and illuminated by the moonlight shining in from your window but you knew you were correct when his eyes were hardening again suddenly. You winced slightly when his hands were coming up to cup your face, the right one just hovering and not connecting with the bruised and swollen skin.

“This was him?” He was whispering, his eyes filtering up to stare into yours and your stomach turned at how serious he sounded. You hadn’t seen him have this look in his eye before and it put you slightly on edge.

You were hesitantly nodding your head and you knew your eyes must have started watering judging by the fact his face softened and he gently caressed your uninjured cheek, shaking his head and bringing you over to sit down on your bed.

“I’m sorry.” He was whispering to you and leaning forward to connect your foreheads, watching you with a hurt look. It was reminiscent of the pitiful glance so many people have given you throughout your life but you knew it was different, he was different.

“It’s not your fault.” You were telling him and you truly meant it, your hand coming up to rest on his wrist and squeeze it softly.

“It is though. I should’ve dropped you off up the street where the bus stops, it was stupid.” He was muttering and you wanted to remind him that you’d pointed out your house and you’d been the one to tell him to stay, but you weren’t sure it was going to make much of a difference.

You thought about the fact he was inside of your house right now, only a few hours after you’d gotten punished for even being seen with him and you snorted a teary laugh at the irony of calling such a small act, such as earlier stupid.

“You make me stupid.” You were telling him and he smiled softly at your joking tone, knowing that you were completely serious.

“You scared me when you didn’t show up.” He was saying back and his tone was serious again, brushing back your hair that was normally hidden under your knitted hat. “I was about to tear the city apart looking for you before I thought about coming here first.”

You laughed slightly at the idea of somebody as kind as Heeseung raging through the city in search of you, pressing your head harder against his before leaning back a bit so you could take a deep breath and shake your head at him.

“You’re lucky I woke up before him.” Your tone was light and teasing but you both understood the heavy truth in the statement, his face dropping again.

He had failed to take you literally when you exclaimed about your father killing you but you didn’t blame him, not liking the guilt that coated his face again as he mirrored your deep breath.

“You couldn’t have known.” You were telling him in a gentle voice but he was still not looking at you, only picking up his head when your hand was brushing through his bangs. “Heeseung, it’s not your fault.”

He was nodding softly and chewing on his lip but you had a feeling he was only agreeing to make you feel better, still having that dark guilty look on his face. You sighed softly and glanced behind you at your small bed, scooting back a few inches before looking at him again.

He was giving you a soft and tired smile, clearly understanding what you were insinuating and you tried to not throw up from nerves when you were both moving around so you could lay down on your bed together. You’d been experiencing the most intimacy you’d had since you were a kid with him and your stomach was tight with anxiety.

Heeseung didn’t seem to think much of it, flopping back against your pillows and sucking in a deep relieved sigh. His one knee was bent upwards towards your ceiling and his left arm was sprawled across the rest of the bed, leaving you no choice but to lay on top of it. He was pulling you forward slightly by your shoulders so you could rest your head on his chest and you were slightly relieved to hear how fast it was beating, despite his calm demeanor.

“How’d we get here.” You were whispering after a bit of silence and you could feel his laughter before you heard it, his warm chest rumbling slightly with the sound

“I thought you looked cute standing up to two drunk assholes.” He mumbled back and you pinched his side slightly, draping your arm across his stomach. “You should’ve seen Jake’s face when I asked about you the next morning.”

“Probably the same expression he had when I ran into the store four hours early.” You felt embarrassed to be admitting it but you liked the way it made him laugh again, gently rubbing your shoulder over the shared fact you both had been interested in each other from the start.

You fell into silence again and after a moment you picked your head up again to look at him closer, still pressed against his side but rolling onto your stomach slightly so you could study his face. He was watching you with a curious expression and your hand come up to brush his bangs back, revealing his eyebrow piercing to you again.

He didn’t say anything when you pressed against it, rolling one of the balls between your fingers for a few seconds before rubbing along his eyebrow bone until you hit the bump of metal, but his eyes darkened slightly at your fascination and you faintly felt his hand slip down to your side and squeeze it.

“He called you a delinquent.” You were whispering to him with a small smirk, raising an eyebrow as you recounted what your father had said about him. “He’d probably lose his mind if he came in here right now.”

Heeseung didn’t seem to share your amusement about the subject considering how hard his face was as you talked about it, only his eyes staying soft as he looked over your features from such a close distance.

“I’d kill him.” He was mumbling back and you snickered for a second before realizing he wasn’t laughing, his face serious as he watched you for your reaction to what he was saying. You frowned slightly and laid your hands down on his chest, rubbing it for a second before shaking your head.

“Don’t say that.” You were muttering under your breath, following it with an awkward laugh at the sudden tension in the air.

“I’m serious.” He was saying back immediately and you looked back up at his eyes, frowning deeper since you knew he was telling the truth. A part of you felt strangely prideful about it, your stomach lighting up at the fact he was so protective over you and willingly to interfere if your father busted through the door.

The other part of you was slightly concerned with his sudden demeanor, only catching glimpses of it before and brushing it off considering how gentle and lighthearted he always was with you. You wondered if it was a good time to ask him about the bandages around his hands but you decided against it.

“Then what?” You surprised yourself by humoring his hypothetical situation for a second, watching the way his eyebrows jumped in surprise. “What happens after?”

“You can come with me.” He was saying it swiftly like it was something he’d considered before, eyes remaining serious despite the fact he was noticeably being more careful with his words.

You hummed softly at him, your hand moving from his chest to trail up his neck for a second before coming back to rest again. You didn’t think anything of the movement, just absentmindedly touching him and being fascinated by the feeling of somebody else’s skin other than yours, but you could tell by the way his eyes darkened that you had caught his attention.

“Would you come with me?” He was asking in a low voice, eyes tired and lazy as he peered down at you but very much focused in on your expression as he waited for your response.

You were watching him in return and you were sure he could feel your heart beating against his arm, rolling back around so you were laying on your side again and cuddled up against his side instead of laying on your stomach and directly facing him. You knew your face must’ve been flushed by now and it continued to redden as you thought of a response.

“Of course I would.” You mumbled back and it slightly scared you how much you found yourself meaning the words.

Now it was his turn to him, low and rumbling in his chest against the side of your face. You scooted closer to him instinctively and you felt his hand gently squeeze against your side when he realized you were moving again, your shirt riding up slightly as you shifted so now his skin was pressed against yours.

You were glancing up at him at the feeling of him touching you and you awkwardly looked away when you realized he was already staring, a hazy look in his dark eyes. Heeseung’s demeanor felt different tonight, or maybe it was just the intimate setting.

“C’mere.” He was rasping out the word and the syllables were slurring together, your heartbeat so heavy and loud that you almost didn’t hear him for a few seconds. You scooted up further on his chest so you could look at him, your upper half lifted slightly so your face was hovering over his and he could bring a hand up to cup your uninjured cheek again.

“We can run away together.” He was muttering now that you were close to each others faces again, his big hand nearly covering the entire side of yours and you smiled softly at his statement. He looked slightly serious still but you saw the corner of his lip quirk up and you ducked your head in embarrassment. “I’d take care of you.”

“Oh, would you now?” Your voice was teasing and you raised your eyebrows at him, biting your lip to try and stop the big smile on your face from spreading. You let your arms shift forward again to rest on his chest and you could feel his collarbones under your palm.

He was nodding but not speaking again, watching you intensely and you felt your smile drop slightly at the look on his face. You’d been with a boy before, not all the way and nothing serious but you wouldn’t consider yourself necessarily unexperienced. Still, you’d never felt so tensioned and attracted to somebody before like you did with Heeseung and he hadn’t even tried to kiss you before.

His demeanor, confident but not ever cocky and sometimes sheepish like he acted on impulse, was the most attractive part of him to you and being in such close proximity didn’t help.

“Could you take care of me now?” You weren’t sure what pushed you to whisper the words out to him, hesitant and slow but being said nonetheless and you watch his eyes flash with something unfamiliar for a moment.

Then Heeseung was leaning forward off your pillows, his hand that was cupping your face being used to bring you forward so you could meet him halfway into a slow kiss that sent a shiver down your spine. You could feel his heart beating underneath your chest as you scooted forward more to completely lay on top of him and kiss him deeper.

You were overwhelmed by how perfect it felt to be kissing him, how warm and familiar the feeling of him underneath you was and you sucked in a small breath when he pulled back for a second before surging forward again to kiss him more.

If he was surprised by this he didn’t show it, his hand pushing up more so your shirt would ride up on your stomach and he could feel more of your side under his hand. You knew he felt the shiver wrack through you, the goosebumps on your skin at the feeling of the callousness of his and he chuckled softly into the kiss that was getting heavier with every passing second.

You could feel Heeseung biting down on your lip, almost painfully, and you were reminded of that dark expression he sometimes got. He was immediately licking over the skin he had bitten, soothing it out with his tongue and you made an embarrassing noise when he was suddenly slipping it into your mouth.

“Calm down.” He was pulling back a few centimeters to whisper to you, his voice breathy and carrying a small chuckle as he teased you for your reaction.

“I can’t.” You responded honestly, shaking your head softly and leaning in again to peck his lips quickly. Kissing him was addicting and you felt like your head was spinning from the way he was gently rubbing up and down your side so slowly.

He was laughing loudly at your response and your heart clenched affectionately at the sound, immediately followed by the reminder he wasn’t supposed to be here. You glanced over at your door nervously and when you looked back at him again he was frowning and following your line of vision, seemingly also snapping back to reality.

“I should probably go.” He was muttering and your stomach dropped painfully although you knew he was right, it wasn’t smart to get in trouble more.

“I won’t be able to come out at night for awhile.” You were telling him and your voice sounded saddened and panicked, bunching up his hoodie in your fist again like you had earlier when your anxiety picked up.

“Doesn’t matter.” He was shaking his head and petting your hair softly, raising his eyebrows to really exaggerate the fact that he meant what he was saying. “Find me at school tomorrow and we can figure something out okay? He can’t stop me from seeing you.”

You watched him in silence for a few seconds before you were leaning in to kiss him harshly again, completely drinking him in and savoring the feeling of him pressed against you in case it was the last time you got to have him like this. His hands were sliding back into your hair, keeping you tight into the kiss and moving against you just as desperately.

You felt overwhelmed at his sincere words, never having somebody so adamant on being around you, being so protective over you that he was willingly to risk his own safety just to have a conversation with you.

“You’re crazy.” You were gasping out when you pulled back for air, laughing at the way he was pressing more swift kisses against your lips as you tried to talk.

“You make me crazy.” He was slightly altering and repeating the phrase you had said to him earlier, a smile coming back onto his face now that you clearly felt better about the situation.

It took you a while to get off of him, even longer for you to actually leave your room considering the way he kept shaking his hands around your waist to pull you back in to kiss again. At one point he had you pressed against your bedroom door and you tried not to think how tensioned it felt to kiss standing up like this, letting him lean you against the old wood and explore your mouth with a heavy sense of longing and desire.

You were eventually take control of the never ending situation and pushing him out of your door with a final kiss, watching him smile at you and walk slowly down your stairs. He had suggested you stay up in your room in case the door closing woke up your father and he came looking for you, better to find you upstairs versus suspiciously in the front hallway.

You followed Heeseung’s frame, craning your neck outside the window to be able to see parts of your front lawn, and watching as he tugged his hoodie back over his head and walked a few houses down to where he had parked his car.

He was looking back at your window before he got in and the two of you watched each other for a few beats before you were raising your hand in a shy wave, smiling at the way he returned it before getting inside his car and pulling off slowly.

——

You were getting stares as you rushed through the school halls, your peers not used to seeing you so alert at all throughout the day but especially so early in the morning. You’d only slept for an hour or two but you felt energized at the idea of seeing Heeseung again as you searched for him.

The search stopped short when you were suddenly smacking into somebody rounding the corner, clearly not expecting to encounter somebody moving at the speed you were.

You both flew back from the impact and you landed on your butt a bit away from the boy, glancing up swiftly to see it was somebody you recognized, a friend from middle school who had slowly stopped talking to you after your mother died.

“Shit, I’m sorry Sunoo.” You were stuttering slightly and you suddenly remembered that conversation didn’t come easily to you, forgetting this fact considering you only ever spoke to Heeseung. “I was just-“

“Looking for Lee Heeseung?” He was cutting you off and you paused in your explanation to stare at him, his tone more judging than you remember ever hearing it. “What are you doing hanging around with him Y/N?”

He was standing back to his full height and offering you a hand but after faltering for a few seconds you paused, scoffing under your breath and standing without taking it. Once you were off the ground you were glaring at him, not liking the heavy glance he was sending your way.

“What does it matter to you?” You normally wouldn’t be so confrontational but it upset you how concerned he seemed to be despite completely ditching you alongside the rest of your friend group while you were grieving.

He had no place to judge you or who you decided to hang out with, although it confused you how worried he seemed to be about Heeseung. You weren’t sure how he even knew about the boy considering you didn’t recall ever seeing him around school or your old friends before your run in at the convenience store.

“He’s dangerous Y/N.” He was spitting the words at you but you could tell you weren’t the reason for his anger, eyebrows furrowing slightly as he looked at you like he was confused if you truly didn’t understand the reason for his worry.

“What are you talking about?” You were looking at him in bewilderment and you felt your heart start to beat slightly at the fact he was clearly implying something had happened with the boy you’d spent so much time with recently. You were suddenly reminded that you didn’t know much about him, never talking about family life or what he did outside of being with you.

“Why don’t you ask him?” Sunoo was sighing and you were confused at his sudden dismissal until you realized his eyes were going past your shoulder now, turning your head and seeing the boy in question standing a few feet away and watching the two of you interact.

Heeseung didn’t look dangerous to you, especially in the way he was clutching the straps of his backpack and carrying a nervous expression. His eyes softened slightly when he saw you but he must’ve registered the worried look on your face because he was suddenly turning in place and going back down the hallway the way he came.

You sighed when he pushed out the side doors, turning back to glare at Sunoo quickly before hurriedly following after the tall boy and rushing back down past the lockers.

“Heeseung.” You were calling his name once you pushed through the double doors, the cold morning air hitting your face swiftly and you winced a bit. “Hee, stop.”

He paused at the sound of your voice and you saw him suck in a reluctant breath before he was turning around to face you. You caught up to him quickly and stopped a few inches in front of him, reaching up to grab his hoodie sleeve and trying not to be offended when he flinched away from your touch.

“What happened?” You were questioning him with slightly widened eyes, looking up at him and trying to read what his face was expressing. “Why are you running away from me?”

“What did he say to you?” His voice was hardened and he was staring daggers down at you, your face crumbling at the harsh expression that you’d never seen directed your way before.

“Nothing, he said nothing.” You were shaking your head quickly and he let out a disbelieving scoff, looking away from you and clenching his jaw in agitation. “Hee, I’m serious. He didn’t say anything, a bunch of none sense I didn’t even understand.”

He was glancing down at you again like he was trying to see if you were telling the truth or not, being met with your big wide eyes and sighing softly in guilt for being so quick to anger. His hand was coming up to touch your face and you leaned into it even though you were still feeling confused over what was happening.

You didn’t say anything when he was reaching down to grab your hand gently, leading you with him out towards the parking lot where you spotted his car parked near the back. You frowned softly behind his back but got into the passenger seat anyways and watched as he started it up but didn’t pull off.

The heat blaring created a small rattling noise and you could hear the song you’d put on before still playing faintly, flushing a bit at the realization he hadn’t changed the CD and was just letting it play on repeat.

“Are you scared of me?” He was suddenly asking and you glanced over at him from the passenger seat, seeing the way he was staring down at his hands as he picked at the skin around his fingers. His legs were spread so his knee was pressing against the middle console and you reached over to place your hand on it gently.

“Of course I’m not.” You were whispering back to him and shifting your body so you could completely face him, your eyes following along his side profile and frowning at how defeated he looked.

“Even if I told you I did something bad?” He was finally glancing at you and you felt sick at how vulnerable his eyes looked, shifting nervously over your face and you hoped your expression didn’t convey how nervous you suddenly felt. “That I hurt somebody really bad?”

You were watching him in silence and it felt like the air from the car got sucked out with his words, hinting towards something darker than you’d expected him to admit. You thought back to the expression he sometimes carried, the way he spoke about your father so casually and the worry on Sunoo’s face. You watched him while thinking of this and you thought about all the other things to.

How he was always so gentle and kind with you, warm and comforting and never doing anything to make you feel worried despite most your time with him being spent alone and late at night. You didn’t know every detail about his life but that didn’t make him seem dangerous to you, he felt familiar and safe and you instinctively squeezed his knee.

“Did they deserve it?” You were finally croaking out, settling on a response that you felt properly conveyed your stance on what he was saying.

You’d thought from the moment you met him that Heeseung was similar to you and you knew the reasons you couldn’t sleep, the demons that kept you up all night restless. You tried to imagine what his looked like and you figured if you were bigger and braver, maybe you’d tried to hurt yours back too.

He wasn’t saying anything for a few seconds, just looking at you like he hadn’t expected that response and you knew immediately it had been the right thing to say. His face was crumbling and he was biting his lip to stop it from trembling, ducking his head forward to nod as an answer to your question.

You were leaning forward over the middle console to pull him in for a hug, not caring about the way the plastic pressed into your stomach uncomfortably or the burn your arms felt from stretching so far to embrace him. He’d help you more than once, brought you back from a dangerous place and a low state of mind and your heart tugged at the sight of him showing that same vulnerability now.

“It’s not your fault.” You were whispering into his hoodie and his arms were snaking around your middle, a small surprised noise slipping from your mouth when he was tugging you over the console and situating you in his lap. He was burying his head deep into your neck and your hand was coming up to rest on the back of his head, his hoodie fabric under your palm.

You didn’t need to hear the full story, you didn’t need for him to painfully recount the details or what had happened for him to do something so drastic and you didn’t need to know who.

Him softly crying into your neck and clutching onto you like a scared child was all you needed to believe him, to understand that whatever rumor or perspective others such as Sunoo had, was wrong.

He was picking his head up to look at you and your heart broke at his red face, tears streaming down his cheeks and a frustration expression coating his features like he was mad at himself for showcasing how upset he was. He was suddenly pressed against you in a kiss and you hesitated for a second in surprise before kissing him back.

You were pushing his hoodie off his head so you could put your hands through his shaggy hair, pulling him tighter against you and feeling the way his wet face was pressing onto yours.

“You can’t leave me.” He was gasping into your mouth and his hands were shakily coming up to cup your face, tilting your head softly and humming into the kiss when you were licking into his mouth and leaning forward so his back was pressed against the car door.

Heeseung was moving a hand down towards your back and you could feel him continuously tugging you forward into him, your hip bone pressing against his stomach as you both found comfort in each others touch. You let him do this for a few seconds longer before you were pulling back a bit to address what he had said.

“I’m not going to leave.” You were gasping as you said it, still trying to catch your breath and he was shaking his head before tugging you forward again, a small noise slipping from your mouth at the feeling of him dragging you up further into his thigh.

“I’m serious.” He was still speaking into your mouth and you pulled back further to look at him, the dark expression back in his eyes now as he watched you. “I’d go crazy if you left.”

It slightly unsettled you how serious he sounded, how he really stressed the words like they were the most important in the world. His hands were still holding onto you tightly like he was terrified you’d slip away if he let up even a little bit and your eyes bounced around his face for a few seconds before you were nodding.

“We can be crazy together.”

“I’m serious.” He was still speaking into your mouth and you pulled back further to look at him, the dark expression back in his eyes now as he watched you. “I’d go crazy if you left.”

“We can be crazy together.”

#enhypen #enhypen drabbles #enhypen fanfiction #heeseung #jake enhypen #heeseung drabbles #heeseung x reader #heeseung smut #enhypen smut #enha smut #enha fics #enha angst #lee heeseung #heeseung angst #heeseung fluff #heeseung au

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igotanidea · 10 months

Text

Single parent struggles : father!Dick Grayson x mother!reader

THAT!!! PICTURE!!!!!

summary/request: single Father Dick Grayson x single Mother reader? Where at some kids birthday party also can the kids be between the ages of like 3 and 4.

A/N: writing this was just so cute and heartwarming and pleasant and fluffy. I think this is going to be my new verse, so if anyone ever get any ideas in that - please ask me to write more UwU <3

***

„Thomas, please stop running around!” Y/N laughed happily when her 4 year old son slipped on the floor and run into her legs. She was quick enough to catch him, before he actually landed on his bottom and started crying.

“Sorry mum!” he grinned with the cutest smile there was, and not paying much attention to his mother’s admonishment regained his balance and followed the friends that he was chasing. “Wait for me!” he yelled before disappearing.

Her son was invited to a birthday party of his kindergarten friend, and obviously, she happened to be a tag along. Helping with the service and acting as a supervisor. Not that she complained. Being a single parent was rewarding, but also happened to be her bread and butter and she didn’t have many occasion to go out the house and spend time with actual adult outside of work. Sure, she loved Thomas with all her heart and never regretted the decision of having him, even when his failure of a father took off running the second he found out about the pregnancy, but sometimes she was just tired. And having an opportunity to hang out and relax and watch her son being so happy around other kids were simply heartwarming. Thomas shed too many tears and experienced sadness asking about the other parent and Y/N swore, that to the maximum of her abilities, she would protect him from that pain.

“God….” she muttered to herself, gathering the fruit bowl from the counter. “I swear the kids never get tired……” her son’s energy was exhausting, but the serene expression in her eyes were showing the truth feelings behind the sigh. Lost in her own thoughts Y/N turned around not noticing the man standing right behind her, bumping straight into the sculpted chest, immediately being caught by two strong arms, the bowl serving as some sort of airbag.

“I know, right?” the man let out a laugh still holding onto her “I’m dealing with the same problem with my daughter. Don’t know who said that girls are quieter and more polite than boys but it does not apply in this case.”

“Hello Richard.” Y/N tilted her head “didn’t see you around for a while.”

Richard Grayson, more often than not called “Dick” was the treat for all the mothers. Handsome, well-build, kind with charming, boyish attitude and most importantly, single father. Rumor has it that the mother had some mental problems and one day escaped the hospital where she and the daughter were getting some treatment and observation, took the kid and left it on the threshold of Dick’s house before disappearing herself. Despite Dick’s attempt to locate her (and boy, that man definitely had the resources, being the son of the Bruce Wayne) he never succeeded, giving up after some time.

And that gave the soccer mothers plenty of opportunities to get him involved in all possible kids’ activities. Kindergarten play? Picnic? Cinema sally? Birthday party? He was pretty much everywhere. Much to all the husbands’ displeasure.

But, since both he and Y/N were the only single parent and the subjects of many rumors that gave them the opportunity to get close and become really good friends. After all, there’s no one better to understand the struggles of raising a kid alone.

“Yeah….” He scratched his head awkwardly, letting go of her arm “I’ve been running after Abby, making sure she does not get in any troubles. But it seems like the fire is fought for a moment and I can finally catch a breath. “

“Really?” Y/N mocked putting the bowl away, crossing arms over her chest “guess the apple does not fall far from the tree, right? Abby takes a lot after you.”

“Are you calling me a troublemaker?” Dick caught his chest and his eyes widened in a fake shock. “Me?”

“Yes.” She teased “Aren’t you?”

“Maybe a bit” he muttered taking a step forward. This made Y/N take a step back and in no time she was trapped between the kitchen counter and his body. “But there’s one more thing me and Abby have in common.”

“And what may that be, Mr. Grayson?” she raised an eyebrow, observing his face carefully and impatiently awaiting the answer.

“We both happen to like the member of the l/n family.” He smirked, grabbing her waist and pulling her towards him closing the distance between them. Her hands found a way towards his neck, locking around it and bringing his lips down for a kiss. It’s been a while since they had any opportunity to be alone, and they were not going to miss it. Even if that meant making out in a messy kitchen in someone else’s house, hiding from their kids. They were acting like teenagers, sneaking around and trying to keep their relationship a secret. And despite the fact that they were both adults this courtship was gentle, careful, soft. They have been hurt before and the cautiousness was making them both take it slow.

But obviously it didn’t mean that there was no passion between them when Dick grabbed onto her tighter, wanting her closer, his hands travelling around her back, sneaking under her shirt, craving to feel her skin, but still keeping the slow, loving pace.

“Behave….” She mumbled into the kiss, but not really stopping him. “Someone can see us…..”

“Oh, please…” he fought the urge to roll his eyes, moving to brush her cheek, jaw and neck in the teasing attempt to make her whine for him “you can’t keep your hands to yourself either.” The bastard was right since her fingers were playing with his hair, pulling lightly.

“I can stop….” She started withdrawing her hands but he was quick to grab her wrist keeping it in place.

“Don’t.” his soft whispers and touches were literally making her melt. “I missed you, Y/n. I missed this…. us……” God, how she loved his attention, even when he pulled back and stopped kissing her, instead looking her straight in the eyes. “I .... wish to have more of you just for myself…..”

“I know. I feel the same.” She smiled and her eyes glistened. Before she met him, after Thomas’s father left, she didn’t believe she could find love again. But life can be surprising and even if they haven’t really said the L word to each other,now she was trapped in the arms of a man who did love her with the undying passion and with whom she felt save and taken care of us as never before. And every time they stole a kiss or a secret touch or just talked or spent time together she felt like crying because of that warm feeling inside her chest and belly. This time was no different as few tears rolled down her cheeks.

“Crying again?” Dick cupped her face, brushing those drops away with his thumb “don’t cry on my account princess.” He brushed his nose over hers, forehead meeting forehead, eyes closing, breathing each other in.

“How can I not?” she sighed deeply, unable to hold back everything he was making her feel. “Dick, I….”

“I know, baby. Trust me, I know.” he planted a chaste kiss on her forehead, rocking her gently to the sound of music coming from the garden causing her to smile again.

He knew.

He knew the heartbreak, the pain, the unanswered question why. He’s been through it all. And it was not his intention to play around with Y/n’s emotions and feelings or to hurt her. Ever. Not with everything she’s been through.

“I’m not like him…..” he whispered, almost inaudibly and she had to swallow the lump in her throat.

“How long do you think since one of the mums start looking for you to move the chairs or ask for another stupid favor?”

“Y/N Y/L/N. Are you jealous?”

“And what if I am?” she twirled a strand of hair on her finger, eyes fixed on his.

“Well, than I’m flattered, but you have no reason for that, baby.” His hands intertwined with hers, caressing tenderly “I lo…..” he almost said it. Almost.

“Daddy?” a quiet, girl’s voice cut him off and it took massive amount of energy to muffle the annoyed groan. Of course it was kids who interrupted him.

“Yes, sweetheart?” he pulled back

“I cut my finger….” Abby pouted, her gaze switching between her father and Y/N. “what are you doing?”

“We were just getting some fruits for you.” the older girl smiled “I’m gonna go and let your father take care of you, little one. See you around, Richard.” She moved away from him and with one final lingering secret brush of hands left him, still aching for her, not able to ever get enough of her presence.

“Daddy?” Abby asked again once Y/N was out of sight.

“Yes?”

“Do you like Thomas’s mum?”

“Do you?”

“She’s nice and pretty. And gives the best hugs. “ the girl frowned, thinking deeply “so yes, I think I like her.”

“That’s good to know.” Dick smiled pecking the top of Abby’s head. He was not going to let this woman out of his life and his daughter’s acceptance was very important for the future purposes.

#dick grayson x reader #dick grayson x you #dick grayson x y/n #dick grayson x oc #dick grayson #dick grayson imagine #dick grayson fanfiction #dick grayson fluff #dc fluff #father!dick grayson #dick grayson x mum!reader

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corruptedcaps · 9 months

Text

Against the clock

Tory was getting that telltale itch as she sat in detention watching the clock tick down excruciatingly slow. She hated herself for feeling that way, for having the addiction. But she needed the release. She knew in a way it had ruined her life and was the reason she was in detention in the first place but in other more obvious ways it had made her life so much better. A week ago the idea that a good girl like her would be in here for bullying would have been absurd.

It had all started when she had agreed to tutor Chad. Chad was the school’s quarterback and newly most eligible bachelor since his bitchy girlfriend Veronica had moved away. Tory didn’t for a second have any interest in Chad. He was brash, vain and as big of a bully as Veronica but he was also rich and his money was something too good to pass up.

Her best friend Tina had raised some concerns however. “Isn’t he passing all his classes automatically because they need him on the field? Why would he get a tutor when he doesn’t even take a test?”

Tory had simply shrugged and said, “I don’t know? Maybe now that Veronica is out of his life he wants to better himself? She was always such a bad influence on him. Ever since she’s been gone he’s been a lot more quiet. I don’t think he’s bullied a single person.”

Tina remained unconvinced but Tory had put some of that down to knowing Tina had a crush on Chad. She knew deep down that Tina was jealous of her getting to spend time with Chad.

Arriving at Chad’s lush house, she was greeted warmly by him at the door. “Tory, come on in.” He said as he placed his hand on her lower back and guided her in. Tory strangely felt butterflies as he did.

To her surprise he then led her upstairs to his bedroom. She expected to study in his living room or kitchen but his bedroom would be fine too, even if it did make her butterflies go into overdrive.

“So where would you like to start? I’ve got history and math with me but if there is another subject you’d like…” She started saying before noticing him begin to take out a box labelled ‘Veronica’.

“What? Oh yeah the tutor stuff, yeah yeah we’ll do that in a minute but I wanted to ask if you wanted any of Veronica’s old stuff? I know she was particularly hard on you and thought it was only fair that you take something of hers now that she’s gone. She left it here before she moved.” Chad said. Tory felt a little touched that he would make this gesture even if she could care less about anything Veronica owned.

She didn’t want to seem rude so peered into the box and saw tight dresses, short skirts, assorted jewelry and various makeup all piled on top of each other. Absolutely nothing she saw interested her. However she could tell he wanted her to take something so she took the one thing that did slightly catch her eye, a perfume bottle with the letter ‘V’ emblazoned on it.

“Oh good choice. I always loved that perfume on Veronica.” Chad said with a smile that made Tory’s butterflies work up again. He was kind of charming, she thought to herself as she turned the perfume bottle over in her hands. A cheeky voice in her head was telling her to try some of the perfume on now. He did say he liked the smell, maybe he could like her if she put some on?

Uncapping the bottle she squirted a little on herself that proved to be more than enough as it quickly rushed to her nose, burning her nostrils with its sweet smell. Despite her memory of the smell being tied to her bullying she had to admit in that moment it smelt good on her.

“Ok so which subject do you… oh… ohhhhhh what’s happening?” She said as she suddenly felt a shift in her body start to take place.

As the mist from the perfume bottle engulfed Tory, a surge of energy coursed through her body, setting off a sequence of remarkable changes. Starting from her fingertips, her nails lengthened, gleaming with a lustrous coat of glossy pink, each one tapering into a perfectly sculpted point, exuding an air of elegance and sophistication.

“Ohhhh fuck I love how bitchy these look.” She said with a smirk before catching herself. “No what am I saying? This isn’t right!”

Tory's brown hair shimmered with an otherworldly radiance, transforming into cascading locks of lustrous, golden blonde. Her once shy, reserved demeanor dissolved, replaced by an air of captivating allure and self-assurance. Her soft features took on a sculpted elegance, cheekbones accentuated, and her eyes intensified, twinkling with mischief.

“Ohhhh but if this is wrong then who the fuck wants to be right?! More! I want more!” She moaned in pleasure.

Moving down, her legs experienced a remarkable transformation. They elongated and became more slender, accentuated by a gentle curve that drew attention to their graceful contours. Tory's ass, once modest and unassuming, transformed into a voluptuous, sculpted masterpiece. It gained an irresistible sway, captivating Chad’s attention with each confident step she took. She loved how he looked at her.

“Like what you see baby? Of course you do.” She said with a wink to a transfixed Chad. Her former repulsion to him had quickly grown into lust. She wanted him but she knew she wasn’t ready yet.

Tory's skin took on a flawless, porcelain-like quality, as if kissed by an ethereal glow. The once shy nerd found herself blessed with a radiant complexion, free from imperfections, with a delicate blush highlighting her cheekbones. Her tits, previously modest in size, blossomed into fuller, more pronounced breasts, accentuated by a newfound confidence that accentuated her feminine allure.

As the physical transformation completed, a shift in her personality became apparent. Tory's once kind and compassionate nature was overshadowed by a growing insatiable desire for power and adulation. The perfume's malevolent influence seeped into her soul, igniting a voracious hunger for control. Confidence transformed into arrogance, and shyness morphed into calculated manipulation.

“Oh fuck what a rush! You evil bastard, you knew this would happen didn’t you?” She said with a smirk as she sauntered over to him like a lioness.

“I made Veronica into the cold hearted bitch that she was, before me she was just another loser nobody like you used to be but I must say you look way better than she ever did.” Chad said as he drank in her body.

“Of course I’m better than her! Look at me, I’m perfection. I’m a goddess! Tory is dead, I’m Victoria the mega bitch now. I’m going to enjoy taking over that pathetic school on Monday but for now how about you take that big dick out for me baby so I can seal the deal as your hawt girlfriend.” Victoria said more as a command than a request.

The weekend was a whirlwind for not only Victoria but her family too. Her parents were shocked at her sudden and dramatic transformation but everything that made Tory a shy and unconfident girl was learned from them so Victoria easily had them under her heel. They were powerless to stop her taking their credit card and using it for herself. Her first stop was the mall to get herself new clothes. She was trying on her 7th dress of the day when she suddenly felt her body begin to ripple and change.

Chad hadn’t warned her that she needed to spray herself with the perfume every 24 hours otherwise she’d change back into Tory. Within moments her perfect tan was gone, her bitchy blonde hair darkened and her big boobs deflated. In a panic she reached for her phone and rang Chad who quickly filled her in.

“You didn’t think that was important to tell me?!” She yelled as she emptied her purse in the changing room looking for the bottle. Snatching it up she sprayed herself heavily and felt the mist settle onto her quickly and revert her back to her bitchy self.

“Mmmm much better.” She said with joy as she watched her boobs grow again and her hair shimmer.

“Sorry babe it slipped my mind.” She heard Chad say from her phone. She rolled her eyes and hit ‘end’ on the call. She was furious at him, she would make him spoil her rotten later but for now she had a new wardrobe to prepare for school.

Each outfit she tried on made her feel more confident, more bitchy, more powerful. It helped that as she strolled from store to store she felt the eyes of at least a dozen men on her. She felt intoxicated by their gazes, empowered by their lust. She even let a few of them give her their numbers.

At school on Monday Victoria quickly asserted her dominance over the student body. Within a few hours she had Veronica’s old clique completely loyal to her and following her around showering her with compliments as she picked on and teased everyone and anyone.

No one was spared from her venom but one person in particular had received more than the average, Tory’s friend Tina. Victoria seemed to relish in her bullying of Tina, as if she were attacking any remnant of her time as Tory. She made sure Tina was hounded day and night and found herself even getting wet bullying her former best friend.

“It must drive you mad knowing I fuck your crush nightly. He is even better than you can imagine. I told him about your little obsession with him and he nearly puked.” She said to Tina on Friday at the end of the week of abuse. However this was the last straw for poor Tina who lashed out at Victoria ripping her dress.

“You little maggot! How fucking dare you! Girls, grab her.” She said with a snap of her fingers and her minions quickly accosted Tina and dragged her into a nearby bathroom. Victoria watched in joy as her betas held Tina’s head in the toilet giving the queen herself the privilege of pressing the flush.

“That’s it girls, make sure we get every inch of her head, it’s the only shower she’s had in weeks.” Victoria said with a chortle and her clique laughed in sickening unison. Victoria leaned over to push the flush when suddenly the door opened and the principal stood there in disgust.

As she sat in detention, she didn’t care how it looked on her record. In fact she knew it would be a badge of honour and a warning to anyone who would try and step to her. No she was more worried about getting back to her perfume. She knew the principal would confiscate everything she had on her before dropping her in detention but thankfully she slid her bag to Chad who was nearby.

She hadn’t sprayed herself in the 24 hour window yet and with 20 minutes still left of detention she has completely reverted back to being Tory. She hungered for the perfume and the claw marks on her desk proved it.

Finally the bell rang and she rushed out of the door and straight to where Chad said he was. She could almost smell the perfume as she rounded the corner only to realize it wasn’t her imagination. Standing before her, a vision of pink and blonde was a woman of immense beauty and a cold eyed stare that stopped Tory in her tracks. In the woman’s hand was the perfume bottle. The only thing worse than Tory not having the perfume was her knowing who had it.

“Tina?” Tory said dumbfounded but knowing beyond a doubt the transformed goddess before her was Tina.

“That’s Valentina to you now loser.” Her previous bestie said with venom.

“Chad? What gives? You said I was even better than Veronica! I’m the best girlfriend you’ve ever had!” Tory said slowly losing confidence.

“You WERE the best but I know you’ve been cheating on me, and after everything I gave you. When you said Valentina here was obsessed with me, I knew she was the worthy successor and not you.” Chad said with a smirk.

“When Chad offered to make me into his new wicked girlfriend I couldn’t say yes fast enough. I just needed to separate you from the perfume. Who do you think tipped off the principal.” Valentina said with a cold calculating smile.

“You bitch!” Tory said as she ran at Valentina but was soon met with by a wall of bitchy betas that used to be her clique.

“Right on time girls. Grab the little bitch and finish what she started.” Valentina smirked as her friends roughly grabbed Tory and shoved her into the bathroom. Valentina meanwhile remained in place with Chad.

“Don’t you want to flush her babe?” Chad said to her but she just turned and smiled at him.

“Who the fuck cares about her? There’s only one thing I’m interested in now and it’s between those legs of yours.” She said as she pulled him away towards a nearby closet.

As the two fucked like carnal animals Valentina wondered to herself, what was getting her off more? Chad, or the sounds of wailing and flushing nearby.l?

The End

#f2f #corruption #evil bitch #bitchification #magic #evil couple #corrupted couple

187 notes · View notes

erin-bo-berin · 1 year

Text

Trust In Me

L&D Nurse Steve Harrington x SingleMom!Reader

Warnings: Heated Makeout (later on in the fic)

Part 1: By Your Side

MASTERLIST

Thank you again to @keeryswiftie for all the help you provided with this. From filling plot holes to helping with the medical stuff. 💕

Trust.

It’s a hard thing to give to someone when you’ve lost all hope in others, when you’ve had a person break it, shred it and throw it back in your face.

It often took time to rebuild someone’s trust.

Steve Harrington knew he was dealing with a fragile creature in Y/N. She was someone that life had seemed to chew up and spit out, yet she’d been strong enough to bring her baby girl, Hope, into the world nearly two months ago.

Hope had brought him and her together and quite literally given her hope.

Steve hoped and was determined to do all he could as he continued to spend more time with her.

For all he wanted to do was to give her the gift of trust again.

•

Two Months Old

The first month of Hope’s life seemed to pass in a blur of sleep deprivation. One day had bled into another as you’d tried hard to be the best mother you could be.

Most days, you didn’t get out of your pajamas, all your energy focused on keeping the tiny newborn that depended on you for everything, alive.

It wasn’t until you’d really looked at the calendar one day that you’d realized it had been almost a month since you’d given birth. You hadn’t once used the number Steve had left you. Not only because of apprehension, but because you had been so preoccupied with Hope that you’d forgotten about it all together.

You hadn’t forgotten about Steve though. He’d always stayed at the back of your mind that entire first four weeks, even though you didn’t seem to consciously know it. That’s what led you to the hospital on that fateful night, hoping he wouldn’t refuse to see you.

It had turned out to be the best decision you could’ve made.

Now, a month later, you’d both fallen into an easy sort of routine. You’d made it clear that it was friendship you wanted as you’d missed the companionship of others. It hadn’t been until Hope was born that you realized just how truly lonely you’d become.

You’d mentally promised yourself to take it slow with Steve. Besides, he was just a friend anyways. One who you just happened to enjoy spending time with.

Due to his unusual work schedule, he was either sleeping most of the day or working all night, but within the last month, you’d both started meeting up a few times a week for dinner before his shift, which is where you currently were.

You stifled another yawn as you reached for your drink to take a sip.

Steve sat on the opposite side of the booth, Hope in his arms. He always insisted in helping you when he was around. You hated feeling like you were taking advantage of him, but he was so sweet about it you truly couldn’t refuse.

He held her with one arm, balancing the bottle with his chin as his other hand held his fork, bringing another bite of his spaghetti to his mouth.

It honestly amazed you how good he was with her, especially in times like this. You practically gaped at him as he managed to hold her, feed her and eat at the same time.

You really needed to learn how to do that.

“Are you getting enough sleep?” he asked, concerned.

He was always checking up on you and Hope. Making sure you were eating, sleeping and that everything was okay with Hope. The first few weeks after you’d started spending time together, he constantly inquired on how you were healing after birth or if there was still any pain, unable to turn the nurse part of him off.

To anyone else, it would probably be annoying, but you couldn’t help but realize how nice it was to know you had someone who cared enough to ask. So you never complained. Besides, you knew it came from a good place. That was just how Steve was.

“Not really,” you grimaced, “I catch naps here and there.”

He frowned.

“Is she still crying all night?”

You mentally cursed yourself as you felt your own tears suddenly filling your eyes. You scrubbed your hands over your eyes, trying to get them to disappear.

You know it’s because you’re overtired, stressed and due to the hormones that were still attempting to return to normal post-pregnancy. Basically, normal postpartum stuff.

But still, it was hard.

You willed your voice not to tremble when you finally spoke.

“Yeah. Some nights are better than others. But I don’t know what to do,” your voice broke at the end, causing you to pause and try to swallow the lump of emotion in your throat, “I’ll change her, try to feed her, sing to her, rock her, walk with her, make sure she’s not too hot or too cold and nothing works.”

Steve looked sympathetic as he watched as you broke down in front of him. Of course, by this point, your tears weren’t anything unusual. Not counting the few times you’d cried during labor, he’d already witnessed you cry a handful of times. Especially lately as you’d struggled with Hope not sleeping very well.

“Sometimes, there’s nothing you can do.”

Steve spoke gently, setting down his fork and reaching across the table to rub your arm that leaned against the edge of the table, in comfort and understanding.

“I feel like an awful mother though,” you admitted, “I hate hearing her cry and not being able to do anything. Plus I’m so tired I usually end up crying with her because she won’t sleep.”

“It can be rough, I understand.”

Your heart twisted at the look of concern on his face. Some days, you still couldn’t believe you’d been fortunate enough to meet such a kind person like Steve, one that cared so much about you and your daughter.

“I know it might not help much, but you’re not the only one to go through this. Hope isn’t just an unusually stubborn baby. Many mothers struggle during the first few months, some even longer. But I want you to know that it doesn’t stay like this forever, okay? This too shall pass and will only be a distant memory.”

His hand found yours and gave it a gentle squeeze, not unlike how he did when you were in labor.

“That does help a little,” you smiled a bit, tears subsiding for the moment.

“Have you tried the 5 S’s?” he questioned.

“The what now?”

He chuckled at your confusion.

“The 5 S’s. Swaddle, Side/Stomach, Shushing, Swinging and Sucking.”

“Um, I’ve tried a few of those? Am I supposed to do it all at once?”

Steve never judged you for any silly questions you might have, nor did he belittle you. He just simply helped and taught you, like he was currently doing.

You knew so little about newborns and all of this felt so foreign to you sometimes that you were constantly glad to have Steve in your corner. He set down the bottle that Hope had just finished before shifting her in his arms to burp her. He grabbed a napkin from the dispenser on the table and put it on his shoulder as a makeshift burp rag then laid her gently against his shoulder, one hand supporting her head and neck, the other patting her back firmly.

“Okay, so. Swaddling the baby helps mimic the feeling of safety and snugness like they felt in the womb. Side or stomach position is holding them on their stomachs or side or even against your shoulder like this,” he motioned with his head to Hope on his shoulder before continuing.

“Shushing is pretty much self explanatory, where you’re making a soft “shhh” sound or you can even use a white noise machine. Those sounds usually remind newborns of the sounds they used to hear in the womb. Swinging, you’re gonna want to do a bit more like jiggling in a way. It’s like short, fast movements. Rocking is great to keep a calm baby calm, but when they’re upset, it’s easier to calm them down with a bit more movement. Think of it this way, they’re jostling and bumping around for nine months in the womb right?”

You nodded, paying attention and making sure to remember all of Steve’s sage advice.

“Well all that rocking and rolling—if you will—” here, he gave you a grin, clearly proud of his joke, “Is soothing to baby. They’re the harsher movements of mother doing stuff like walking, going down stairs, pretty much anything. You can also use the swing for this too. You have that one we picked out at the yard sale for her last week.”

“I haven’t gotten around to using it yet,” you admitted, embarrassed.

“Well maybe it won’t hurt to give it a go,” Steve said.

“What’s the final S again?”

“Sucking. Whether she’s sucking on a pacifier or uh, your breast, like if you try to feed her.”

For his sake, you ignored how his cheeks seemed to flame when he mentioned your breasts. Besides, it was entirely possible that no matter how long he’d been a nurse, it might still be a bit awkward talking about a woman’s breasts or vaginas to them.

Just then Hope let out a big burp, cooing happily now that her stomach felt better.

“Oh that was a big burp! Do you feel better now, sweetheart?” Steve baby talked to her, wiping her chin of any spit up.

He settled her against his chest as she whined, squirming a little.

“It just sounds like she’s overtired from not sleeping at night,” Steve said, continuing your conversation from before, “You don’t necessarily have to do all 5 S’s at once, maybe try two or three at a time. It takes some trial and error, but something is bound to work. She’ll eventually start to sleep again and so will you.”

You watched as your daughter’s movements became fewer and far between as she settled against Steve’s chest and began to drift off.

A part of you felt oddly jealous, but you chalked it up to the fact that Hope was able to sleep anywhere and anytime she pleased, unlike you.

“I sure hope so,” you sighed, “I don’t know how you get her to sleep so easily. Usually it takes a feeding, diaper change, her fighting sleep and then she falls asleep. It’s like you have the magic touch.”

Steve grinned, peering down at the peaceful Hope on his chest.

Today, the pair of scrubs he donned were a light blue and he wore the glasses you’d seen folded on the neckline of his shirt the first time you’d met him. They made him look different. Not a bad different though, just different. You liked them.

Her tiny fist had clenched the material of the top, pulling the neckline down enough to expose a sliver of dark chest hair that you’d never seen before. Your eyes trained on it before flitting away, back to his face.

“Perks of the job,” he lamented, “I’ve held quite a lot of babies in two years.”

“Maybe she somehow knows you’re an expert,” you teased, causing him to laugh.

This was often how you and Steve spent your numerous dinner meet ups. Most of it would be spent talking about Hope, at least lately, but you’d also talk about other things. His work, your work—you’d mentioned how lucky you were to have been able to have 4 months off since the office you worked at had hired a temporary receptionist in your place. Sometimes you talked about life, sometimes you talked about nothing of importance at all, like the weather or what movies were currently playing. What mattered though was that for the first time in a long time, it felt like you truly had a friend.

Steve had just finished his plate of food—all while still holding a sleeping baby might you add—when he glanced at his watch.

“I really better get going,” he said apologetically.

You felt a sinking in your chest, hating that you had to say goodbye to him already. It wasn’t the loneliness that made you sad to see him go, but more the fact that you enjoyed his company so much.

“Of course,” you said, sliding out of the booth and coming over to his side to retrieve Hope, “I can’t be the cause of crushing expectant mother’s hopes and dreams by making their favorite nurse late.”

He laughed sarcastically at your joke, but good naturedly.

“You’ll never get tired of teasing me about that, will you?”

“Nope,” you beamed at him, taking Hope carefully from his arms.

She stirred with a small whimper and you shushed her quietly, setting her against your shoulder as you reached for the carrier you’d put closest to the wall on your side of the booth. Scooting it closer to the edge of the bench, you settled her into it as easily as you could before turning to Steve to tell him bye.

“Hope you have a good shift,” you told him, as he stood, grabbing his coat, bag and the check.

“Hey, wait!” you tried to grab it from him, but he held it out of your reach.

“Don’t worry, I got it,” he smiled, “I know you’re not working right now, so just let me do this, okay?”

You made a face, though you weren’t really mad at him.

“You’re lucky I like you.”

“How can you not? I’m the favorite nurse, after all,” he smirked.

You rolled your eyes playfully at him.

“Same time for dinner again on Monday?” you asked.

“You know it,” Steve smiled, giving you a hug, “Bye Hopey.”

He gently tickled her foot and she jerked it away, even in her sleep making you both laugh.

He put the bag on his shoulder, his coat thrown over it and gave you a wave, calling over his shoulder as he headed to the front to pay.

“See you Monday!”

•

Three Months Old

“I didn’t wake you, did I?”

“Steve, this child is awake at 6 am ready for breakfast, do you really think you woke me?” you answered with a laugh.

“Just checking,” he said, though you could hear the smile in his voice.

In recent weeks, along with your three dinners a week, you and Steve tended to talk on the phone every morning as well. You had to admit, it was nice being able to hear from him, especially on the days you weren’t able to see him.

Ironically, it had started by accident.

One morning, after his shift, he was unable to fall asleep after drinking way too much coffee to stay awake the night before, so he’d ended up calling you.

The chat only lasted about ten minutes before you’d heard the rhythmic sound of his breathing, indicating he’d fallen asleep mid-conversation. You’d hung up with a smile, happy to have helped him unwind.

Now, he called every morning after his shift, before he fell asleep. He’d jokingly started calling it his bedtime routine.

Even though your schedules were completely different, you were typically awake anyways since Hope was up and ready to be fed by the crack of dawn anyways.

“How is the little mother sucker anyways?”

“Steve!” you exclaimed, unable to mask the bark of laughter that came from your mouth.

“What?”

You heard his deep laughter come from the other end of the line.

“I can’t believe you just called her that,” you said, exasperated.

“Well, I assume she’s still breast feeding right?”

You didn’t even have to be in front of him to know his brow was raised with the question.

“She is,” you sighed, knowing you weren’t going to win this one.

“So technically she is a mother sucker.”

“Hawkins’ favorite Labor and Delivery nurse, everybody,” you intoned sarcastically.

You looked over at Hope where she was sleeping soundly on the opposite side of your bed. You’d carefully arranged a laughable amount of pillows around her, but you didn’t want to take any chances.

“She sleeping better now?” Steve inquired.

“Mhm,” you answered, “It’s amazing how much changes in just four weeks. I didn’t think I’d ever get through those first two months.”

“But you did.”

You heard the pride in Steve’s voice and you forced yourself to tamp down the glowing feeling that blossomed in your chest. After all, he was just probably glad that you and Hope, being former patients and his friends were doing good.

“I did,” you confirmed, “But she’s growing way too fast. It’s like I simultaneously want these hard stages to be over fast, but don’t want her to grow too fast.”

“Babies sure don’t keep, that’s for sure,” Steve replied.

“Okay now you sound like Brenda.”

Steve often told you about his co-workers, one of them being the middle aged and almost grandmotherly, Brenda, who worked in the nursery. He always had funny stories to tell about things she’d said. One of your favorites was the time she’d said she was positive there’d one day be a group of mothers petitioning for a mural of his face in the hospital lobby. It’d made you laugh until you quite literally peed your pants—another part of postpartum that wasn’t too fun.

“I never realized how true it was until I started seeing Hope grow before my eyes.”

“I know. Remember that baby book you got me to read? That little scrunchy thing she used to do with her feet when I picked her up as a newborn, she doesn’t do anymore. I almost cried when I first noticed it.”

“Oh yeah because usually the first month they’re still getting used to being in the world and they still have the memory of being scrunched in the womb. But then over time they learn they can stretch their feet and legs out so they no longer scrunch.”

“You know, you’re basically a walking version of that book,” you said.

“Hey, I passed all my classes and the information stuck, okay? Sue me,” Steve joked.

“So, tell me, is it normal for my boobs to hurt sometimes? I know they’re swollen and huge with milk right now, but sometimes they’re so sensitive to the point if anything even brushes my nipple it’s painful.”

You heard a coughing, choke-like sound coming from his side of the phone conversation.

“Oh God, I’m sorry. That’s probably so awkward for you to hear. I sometimes forget I don’t have any girlfriends to talk about this with. Ignore that.”

“No, it’s okay,” Steve managed to stammer out.

He was incredibly grateful that she couldn’t see him at the moment because he was positive his face was beet red. That and other, lower parts of him had stirred to attention.

He was a man after all.

“I probably just made things so weird,” you chuckled uncomfortably, “You don’t have to answer that.”

“No, it’s a legitimate question,” he answered, attempting to keep his voice from sounding unaffected, unlike how he was truly feeling, “It’s pretty normal. Just keep an eye on it and make sure you’re not getting an infection—or what’s called mastitis. When a milk duct becomes clogged and causes an infection. If they’re not warm to the touch, red or painfully swollen then it might just be that you just need to pump or feed more. Your body just might be producing more milk than you need right now and that’s what’s causing them to be so swollen and tender.”

God help him, this conversation might just kill him if he didn’t move on from the subject of her breasts quickly.

“So you mentioned that she’s been recognizing your voice lately?”

Steve was relieved when she immediately picked up with an adorable story about how Hope had begun to smile lately.

He really had to remember to keep his priorities in check.

•

Four Months Old

You couldn’t believe your maternity leave was finally up.

Hope had turned four months old last Friday and you were to return to work on Monday morning.

You’d had to hire a babysitter. A woman in her late 40’s you’d interviewed and met with a few times now had been your choice candidate. You trusted her, especially since she had years of experience. She’d babysat since she was a preteen, had two kids of her own when she was still pretty young and now, finding herself an empty nester, she’d wanted to return to childcare.

Mrs. Jones seemed like a kind, caring and definitely trustworthy babysitter. But it wasn’t her that caused you to worry. It would be your first time leaving Hope for any amount of time and you weren’t sure you were ready for the separation anxiety you were already feeling. But, if you were going to support yourself and Hope, you had no choice but to work.

It didn’t help that Hope was growing so fast. She already could roll over, hold her head and neck up during tummy time and was starting to truly babble. It felt like she was growing so quickly, you were afraid to miss something important in just the span of a work day.

Steve, knowing your apprehension about returning to work had planned a rare weekend before shift dinner with you at the diner you three often frequented. You’d been relieved to know that you’d have some sort of distraction for a least an hour or so.

But, when you’d arrived at the diner earlier that evening, Steve hadn’t been there.

After waiting with Hope for a full hour and half, feeding her her dinner and eating a sandwich yourself, you’d finally packed up and headed home.

You’d been worried about him, knowing it wasn’t like him to miss a dinner. When you’d gotten back home and gotten Hope settled in her swing next to your bed, you’d called Steve, hoping everything was alright. Even if he didn’t answer, you’d planned on leaving a message, letting him know you were concerned.

“Hello?”

A groggy sounding Steve answered the phone and you glanced at your clock radio to check the time. It was only after 9 pm in the evening. Normally, he’d be at work.

“Steve? Why are you at home? Shouldn’t you be at work?”

“I was sleeping,” he yawned.

“Shit. I’m sorry. Are you sick? I got worried when you didn’t show up to the diner earlier.”

“Fuck. I must’ve slept through it.”

“It’s okay,” you frowned, “But I wish you would’ve called to let me know you weren’t coming. I was worried something bad had happened to you or—”

Steve was exhausted and didn’t take a moment to think about the words that flew out of his mouth before he voiced them.

“I can’t be at your beck and call every minute, Y/N, I have a job that keeps me busy too, you know,” he snapped.

You flinched at his tone, falling quiet. You hadn’t meant to upset him.

He sat up in bed, rubbing a hand over his face. Glancing at his own bedside clock, he saw he’d only been asleep for a few hours.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snap at you, that wasn’t fair. I’m the one that tries to help you as much as I can and I know you don’t depend on me. It’s just been a shitty 24 hours. I had to work both the day shift and my usual shift because the usual day shift nurse was sick and they couldn’t get anyone to cover. Plus it was a full moon and I swear half of Indiana was in Hawkins’ hospital having babies.”

“Oh Steve,” you said, frown deepening, feeling awful for him, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have bothered you. I just wanted to make sure you’re alright. I’ll let you go so you can sleep now.”

“No, I don’t want you to hang up mad at me,” Steve said, feeling a bit too vulnerable admitting that, “I really am sorry. I shouldn’t have taken my shitty mood out on you.”

“I understand,” you said, genuinely, “I’m not mad. Get some sleep.”

What Steve didn’t want to admit, even to himself, is how just hearing her voice was slowly melting the bad mood and the accompanying tension from his body. He promised himself he’d get some sleep…but in a minute. Just to hear her voice a little longer.

“I will in a minute. I’m sorry for missing our dinner. Are you still nervous about tomorrow?”

You bit your lip, watching Hope swing in the baby swing. She was content, sucking on her pacifier, but you could see her eyes drooping and knew she was going to be down for the night, soon.

“Yeah. It’s nothing against Mrs. Jones though. She sounds incredible and I’m sure she’ll be wonderful with Hope. I’m just not ready for that feeling of loss when I’m not with her,” you admitted.

Steve laid back against his pillows, cradling the phone receiver between his shoulder and ear as he pulled the covers back over himself.

“That’s to be expected,” he said, “You haven’t had to leave her until now.”

“I know. I just wish I could take her with me though. I already miss her so much and I haven’t even left yet.”

“Tell you what,” Steve said, “I have tomorrow off since I just pulled a double. Why don’t you call me on your lunch break? It might help keep your mind busy.”

“That would help, thanks,” you smiled, “But you’re right, I’m just being a sissy about this.”

“Hey, I never said that,” he chuckled.

“No, you didn’t. But I know I am. I have to make money for us to survive somehow. I just hope it’ll get easier.”

“It will,” Steve said softly in your ear, “It never seems like it at the time, but I promise you will.”

The sincerity in his words calmed you more than you could even express.

Sneaking another peek at Hope, you saw your daughter fast asleep. You knew you needed to get her out of the swing and put her into her crib before you turned in for the night, yourself.

“I’ll let you go,” you said, just as quietly, “Thank you for helping.”

“Anytime,” he promised.

“Goodnight, Steve.”

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

•

Five Months Old

Loud cries pierced your ears as you walked with Hope, gently bouncing her in attempt to calm her.

You were beginning to feel hopeless as nothing you’d done had been able to calm her. She hadn’t cried this much since being a newborn, back when she wouldn’t sleep.

“Come on honey, please,” you begged her, rubbing her back while you bounced, “I wish I knew what was bothering you.”

You knew she was teething, but even a frozen teething ring wasn’t helping at this point. Sighing, you placed her on the changing table, knowing you needed to change her again after feeling her fill her diaper moments before.

You frowned as you cleaned her up, noticing she seemed be suffering from diarrhea. You didn’t know if her tummy bothering her was what was making her fussy or what.

Making quick work of the diaper change, you scooped her up, her face bright red from all her screaming.

“Sweetie, please calm down. You’re going to make yourself sick.”

As if on cue, you felt a warmth spreading down the front of your shirt as she threw up on you. She continued to cry and your heart clenched, hurting for her. You didn’t even care that you were covered in her puke, you just wanted her to be okay.

You settled her temporarily with a fresh, cool teething toy, causing her cries to dwindle to whimpers as you laid her on the bed. You managed to clean her up with a baby wipe and quickly changed shirts while you had a moment of respite.

You were growing more worried about her, especially when you felt her flushed cheeks and they felt warm. You carried her to the bathroom, grabbing the special baby thermometer that went into the ear—one Steve had helped you pick out—and inserted it into her ear.

Of course, with your luck, that only set her off again. She dropped the teething toy, beginning to wail again. You felt your heart drop when you saw the read of 100.5 degrees.

Her wails had increased in volume again and you felt yourself panicking, not knowing what to do. You’d promised yourself you wouldn’t bother Steve in a crisis—you didn’t want to have to rely on him all the time—but you felt desperate.

Holding her against your shoulder, you raced to the phone on your bedside table, picking it up and dialing Steve’s number from memory. It was a task you’d done many times before and it was as if your fingers could punch in the numbers without giving any thought to it. In this moment, that was practically the case, with your concern for Hope weighing your mind and her cries of anguish ringing your ears, distracting you.

“Hello?”

“Steve, I’m so sorry to bother you, I know it’s your day off, but I don’t know what else to do.”

“Okay, okay, slow down,” Steve instructed, “What’s going on? Is Hope alright? I can hear her crying.”

“I don’t know what’s wrong. I know she’s teething, but I don’t know if she’s sick or her stomach’s bothering her or what. She won’t stop crying and she just threw up from crying so much. I don’t know what to do, Steve.”

Your own tears started falling as your concern and desperation bled into one.

“What’s your address? I’ll be right over, alright? Everything will be okay.”

You rattled off your address gratefully and thanked him before hanging up.

“It’s okay, Hope,” you said, resting your chin against her head as you attempted to rock with her.

You repeated Steve’s words to her, as much to soothe her as yourself.

“Everything will be okay.”

•

It only took Steve ten minutes to arrive. You didn’t even have to ask to know he most likely broke the speed limit to get there so quick.

Any other time, you would feel vulnerable at the realization that this was the first time he’d actually been in your home. You weren’t ashamed of it, but it was a rather small apartment that hardly seemed to stay tidy anymore with a baby around. It was just more intimate than you two had ever been.

Of course, those were the thoughts you’d be having if these were normal circumstances. Currently, all you cared about was Hope and helping her since you were at your wit’s end.

It was strange to see him out of his nurse’s scrubs. You had typically hung out with him either before or after a shift at the hospital, sometimes even visited him during his lunch break—turned out colicky babies liked car rides in the middle of the night, hence some late night hospital visits to see Steve.

Now, he was dressed in Levi’s and a polo, his hair tousled like he’d dressed in a hurry. You really hoped you hadn’t pulled him away from anything important.

He had a pharmacy bag in his hand that he set down on the couch when he walked in.

“What’s going on?” he asked.

It made you feel a bit better to see him as concerned for her as you felt.

“She’s running a fever, has diarrhea, won’t stop crying and like I said, she threw up from crying so much.”

He frowned, holding his arms out to take her from you.

“What’s going on, princess? Come to Steve.”

He took her in his arms, though she still continued to fuss.

“How high was her temperature?”

“100.5,” you answered.

He nodded.

“I got some liquid Tylenol for her to take for the pain. Can you go put a damp wash cloth in the freezer for about ten minutes? In the meantime, does she have any cold teething toys?”

When you answered with your own nod, he instructed you to retrieve it. You brought it back to him and went off to put the washcloth in the freezer.

When you’d returned to the living room, you noticed it was quieter, her wails having subsided significantly. Hope held the frozen teething ring in one hand, gnawing on it while Steve walked back and forth across your living room floor, murmuring to her softly.

“Is she alright? Is she going to be okay?”

“Yeah. She’s not sick, she’s just having symptoms of teething, the poor thing. I think she just got sick from crying too much, like you said. I took a peek before I gave her the teething ring and her bottom gums are pretty red and irritated, so a tooth or two are trying to break through. I wanted to calm her down some before we gave her any Tylenol. I didn’t want her choking on it.”

You nodded, sitting down on the couch.

“That’s smart. What’s the cloth for?”

“Sometimes babies like to gnaw on something cool and a bit rougher in texture to soothe their sore gums. It should help relieve some of the irritation along with the Tylenol.”

You let out a sigh of relief, unable to hide how concerned you were.

“Thank you Steve. You’re a lifesaver.”

He gave a wry smile in your direction, one that made your stomach flip.

“Isn’t that what I’m for?”

•

Six Months Old

“Are all mothers generally this nervous before a check up like this?”

Your knee was bouncing as you and Steve waited in the pediatrician’s waiting room for Hope’s six month check up.

Steve reached over, putting a hand on your knee only to still it as he gave you a look.

“Well considering I’m a Labor and Delivery nurse and not a pediatric nurse, I can’t honestly say. But I’m sure you’re not the only one. Any mother would hate to see their baby cry because of shots.”

“I’m dreading it,” you frowned, “I hate hearing her cry.”

“That’s just your mommy instinct kicking in,” he grinned.

Knowing how nervous you were about Hope’s six month shots, Steve had offered to come to the doctor’s appointment with you for support. No way could you have turned him down because even though you didn’t want to admit it to yourself, you wanted him to be there.

When you were called back, Steve carried Hope in her carrier back for you as the appointment began. The nurse weighed her, took her measurements and declared she was right on track for her age. While you waited for the doctor, Hope sat in Steve’s lap while he played with her.

“I can’t believe you’re 12 pounds now, kiddo!” he said to her, lifting her up and down in the air, making her squeal with laughter, “Stop growing so fast!”

Hope giggled, her fist in her mouth as she gave him a big grin. Two white teeth were exposed when she smiled now.

“Look at those teeth, mommy,” Steve baby talked to Hope, “Those pesky little teeth gave you a rough time for a little bit there, didn’t they?”

You were relieved when one day, the two bottom teeth finally emerged from her gums, seemingly out of nowhere. She still had days when she was a bit more cranky or clingy because of teething, but nothing as bad as with those first two teeth.

“Muh muh muh muh,” Hope babbled.

“Has she said mama yet?” Steve asked, setting her back in his lap, looking over at you.

“Not yet. She’s been doing a lot of that and other babbling. It’s like she’s got the first part of mama down, but can’t seem to put it together,” you chuckled.

“Give her time. She’s a smart little girl. I have a feeling she’ll be saying her first word soon,” he grinned.

The conversation was cut short when the pediatrician walked in, ready to asses Hope.

After doing a complete physical, asking about her eating, sleeping and development, he’d declared she was a perfectly healthy, right on track baby.

Then came the part you’d been dreading most. While still only in her diaper, you followed the doctor’s instructions to lay her down on the table. Steve helped you hold her still while you both tried to distract her from what was to come.

The first shot was in and out before Hope registered what had happened, but she seemed to have a delayed reaction as she burst into tears.

Your heart broke hearing your baby’s cries, even though you knew it would be over in a moment. All you wanted to do was scoop her up and comfort her.

“I know baby girl, it’s no fun,” Steve talked to her, running a hand over her hair.

It had gotten longer now, long enough for you to put a bow in it now—though she didn’t really tolerate that for long.

“It’s okay. Me and mommy are here,” he continued talking to her as she howled through the rest of the shots.

“Okay. All done, mommy. You can hold her now,” the pediatrician said with a gentle smile.

You did just that, holding her close to you, cradling her head in your hand as you bounced with her, soothing her.

The doctor left, letting you know the receptionist would be ready to schedule Hope’s next appointment when you got her calmed and dressed. You thanked him and returned your attention to Hope, noticing she had calmed more quickly than expected.

You turned around, looking behind you to see Steve had been making silly faces at her, capturing her attention. You laughed, amused while he just shrugged.

“Figured it couldn’t hurt,” he said.

Since she was no longer crying, you redressed her, letting her sit on the table as you buttoned up her onesie. You were about to pick her up when she reached her arms out in Steve’s direction.

Along with other milestones like her teeth breaking through, six months had brought the introduction to solid food, the ability to sit without any assistance and reaching to be picked up.

“Aww, you want Steve to hold you?” he chuckled, picking her up.

Then, sure as the world, she looked up at his face and uttered her first word.

“Da da.”

You froze, gaze flying to Steve’s.

Turned out, Steve had been right when he’d said that she’d say her first word soon. It just happened to be one that neither of you had expected.

Well, shit.

•

Seven Months Old

“So you’re telling me the kid’s first word was dada? And she called you dada?”

“No, Kelly. She called the doctor dada,” Steve huffed to his friend.

“Hey don’t bite my head off. I just think it was sort of inevitable,” she shrugged, tossing him a glance.

“How so?”

Kelly gave him a deadpan stare.

“Seriously? You’ve spent a lot of time with her, Steve. As far as I can tell, you’re the only male presence in Hope’s life so of course she was bound to think you’re her daddy.”

He groaned, running his hands through his hair.

“What did Y/N say about it?” she asked.

“Nothing. I mean she corrected Hope and told her that I wasn’t her dad and that I’m just Steve.”

“Just Steve. Ouch,” Kelly winced, “But she didn’t say anything to you?”

“Nope. We just got lunch and acted like it never happened.”

Now it was Kelly’s turn to groan as she leaned forward, banging her forehead against the nurse’s desk in front of where they sat.

“You two are so clueless!”

“It’s my own damn fault,” Steve muttered, “I’ve never let on that I’m interested in her or think she’s beautiful or that I spend random moments during the day thinking about what she and Hope are doing. That I feel like I want to crawl out of my skin in anticipation of seeing her again. It’s like I never truly feel relaxed unless I’m with her and Hope.”

Kelly whistled.

“Man, you’ve got it bad, Harrington.”

“No need to tell me that,” he grumbled.

“Hey, look on the bright side. You get to see Santa tomorrow,” she teased.

“I regret telling you that,” he rolled his eyes.

“Hey! I’m one of your best friends and believe me when I tell you I would’ve found out, Steve Harrington.”

He grinned, knowing that was true. There were never any secrets between him and Kelly. They shared pretty much everything from the woes of being a nurse to who they were dating, so of course he’d told her that Y/N had invited him to go with her to take Hope to see Santa.

“You may have a point,” he sighed dramatically, laughing when she hit his arm before continuing.

“But, you’re right. I’m really looking forward to it.”

•

Other than correcting Hope, you hadn’t said anything to Steve about her calling him dada. In all honesty, you didn’t know who it was more awkward for—you or him.

On one hand, you didn’t want to hurt him because he truly had become a father figure to her. On the other, you didn’t want him to think that you wanted something more than friendship. The idea wasn’t terrible of course, but you didn’t want to entertain it, sure there was no way he felt the same.

“Y/N?”

You shook yourself out of your thoughts and looked over at Steve. You were both currently waiting in line to see Santa at the mall, Hope in your arms.

“Hmm?”

“Something on your mind?” he asked.

“No, sorry. Just spaced out,” you smiled apologetically, “How was work last night?”

“Long,” he groaned, “There was an emergency C-section, a breech that finally turned his way around at the last possible second and one mother who progressed so quickly she barely made it to the hospital in time to deliver.”

“Damn. First baby?”

“Fifth,” he answered.

“Jeez, you really did have a long night. I promise I’ll get you home early enough for you to sleep at a normal time tonight.”

“Ah, the benefits of a few days off,” he chuckled.

As you drew closer to the front of the line, Hope looked around, wide eyed as she took in all the Christmas lights, the red and green decorations and the jolly laughter coming from the big guy in the red velvet chair.

“You excited to see Santa?” Steve asked her.

She babbled back to him, pointing at something.

“Is that so? Well I’m sure Santa would be happy to bring you that for Christmas.”

You laughed.

“Honestly, she’s still so young, I may just get her a few necessities and toys and then let her spend the day playing with the boxes.”

“Ah, a seven month old’s holiday dream,” Steve said wistfully, though there was a glint of humor in his eyes.

When it was Hope’s turn to sit on Santa’s lap, you and Steve both cracked up from the sidelines at the look on her face.

Contrary to some babies, she didn’t cry, she just looked confused. She looked up into the Santa’s face then back in yours and Steve’s direction, an expression of bewilderment on her face.

If she could talk, you were sure she’d be asking: “Who the heck is this you plopped me in the lap of?”

The Santa laughed heartily, talking to her while she continued to gaze at him in confusion.

Between you two and the photographer, you managed to get a pretty decent photo of her. You ended up buying a copy because it was too cute not to save.

Besides, you really wanted to remember this moment of her—and Steve too—who’d laughed so hard there were actual tears streaming down his face.

“My sides hurt from laughing so much,” he wheezed, finally calming down after you’d left with the photo in tow.

“Mine too,” you grinned.

Hope was oblivious to your laughter as she sucked on a finger, looking around the mall as you passed different shops, decorated to the nines for the holidays. She was too young to understand, but you couldn’t help the sense of feeling complete when it was the three of you. It was like you were no longer alone in the world.

But maybe, it was just the holiday magic getting to you.

•

You’d invited Steve back to your apartment after the visit with Santa and offered him lunch, which he’d declined.

You’d fed Hope a lunch of scrambled eggs and some mashed bananas—two of her favorites. She was getting to the age where she was picking up food for herself and feeding herself, though you still had to spoon feed her the mashed food.

This time though, Steve had fed her her bananas, even going as far as making airplane noises, flying the spoon around making her squeal with laughter.

Now, she was sound asleep in the play pen that you’d brought out to the living room, down for her afternoon nap.

“I’m telling you, this is such a great picture,” Steve laughed at the picture of Hope with Santa, handing it back to you.

You set it aside with a grin.

“I know I say it all the time, but I can’t believe how big she’s gotten,” he said, resting his head back against the couch.

“Me either. Sometimes it still feels like yesterday that you were literally coaching me through labor,” you grinned over at him.

“Hey, I just provided the encouragement, you did all the hard work,” he answered, amused.

“Still, I couldn’t have done it without you. I couldn’t have made it this far without you, Steve,” you whispered.

He grew quiet, his gaze focused on yours. Maybe it was your imagination, but you swore you felt the air shift between you two.

He sat up, leaning towards you and you inhaled sharply, your heart pounding in your ears as you realized what he was going to do. But nothing could have made you stop him as his hand caressed your cheek and he leaned down, pressing his lips to yours.

You would’ve been lying if you said you hadn’t imagined what it would be like to kiss Steve. Somehow, at some point over the last seven months you’d found yourself more drawn to him. It was just little things—like how he was with Hope, the way his smile was so big sometimes it was just the slightest bit crooked, the way he would do anything for you and Hope.

You kissed him back, your lips moving against his slowly as you reacquainted yourself with the feel of another person again. It had been so long since you had shared something so intimate with someone and it was a welcome change.

Maybe it had been too long or maybe it was buried longing that fueled the kiss because you found yourself carried away in it. His lips glided over yours, feeling as soft as they looked, his hands gliding from your face, down your neck to around your waist. One of your hands slid across his neck into his hair at the nape of his neck, tangling into it.

The strands were silky smooth and your fingers passed through them with ease and you never wanted to go another moment without your hand buried in his hair, without his lips on yours.

One moment bled into another as the kiss grew more heated. Your lips parted willingly as his tongue slid over your bottom lip before entering your mouth, tangling with your own.

Although it was more sensual than it had begun, the pace of the kiss was languid as if you both were taking the time to memorize every inch of one another. His hands landed on your hips, squeezing them gently, the only sound in the room the parting and rejoining of yours and his lips.

At some point during the kiss, your chest had become pressed against his and you could feel your nipples harden in arousal that you hadn’t felt in such a long time.

His hands had found your thighs and had began inching upwards, leaving a trail of electricity in their wake, even through your jeans. A soft moan erupted from your throat and that’s when reality slammed back into you, bringing you to your senses.

You pulled away abruptly then, shaken to your core, horrified at how far you’d let it go on. Steve must’ve seen the panic on your face for he jumped back from you like you’d physically burned him.

“Fuck. I’m so sorry Y/N,” he apologized profusely.

“No, no. It’s my fault, really,” you shook your head, putting much needed space between the two of you.

Your chest was heaving, your blood was boiling and you felt pulsing desire in places that hadn’t been set aflame for a long while.

“I should probably go,” Steve said, clearly as freaked out as you.

You were too preoccupied with your own jarring thoughts to argue. You nodded absently, seeing him to the door.

“I really am sorry,” Steve said, one last time.

“It’s fine, really. No harm done,” you replied.

You were lying through your teeth. Your thoughts and fears had been broken open like a sledgehammer to a glass window.

When you closed the door, you made a decision that you didn’t want to do, but knew you had to.

You had to distance yourself from Steve as soon as possible.

•

It’d been two weeks since the incident with Y/N.

Between the holidays coming up and a skeleton crew at the hospital, Steve had ended up taking on more shifts which meant he had even less personal time. He hadn’t seen Y/N since he’d kissed her—well made out with her was probably the better term for it.

She didn’t call him, she didn’t visit him, she ignored his calls. He tried to convince himself that it didn’t matter. It was the holidays, he was busy at work and he didn’t have time to think about his personal problems.

But she stayed at the back of his mind, constantly. He couldn’t shake the gnawing feeling that he’d messed up badly.

Still, he promised himself he’d wait until after the holidays to reconnect. It was a busy time for him anyways.

It was a week before Christmas when he returned home from work one day to see a card had been delivered to him. He didn’t usually get much mail other than the occasional advertisements and pesky bills.

He had no idea what to expect when he opened it as there wasn’t a return address.

His breath caught when he pulled a Christmas card out of the envelope with the familiar picture he loved so much of Hope on Santa’s lap.

Turning it over, there were only two words written on the back.

Merry Christmas.

•

Eight Months Old

January, typically meant to be the start of a new year was also one of the coldest times of the year.

It was a cold and lonely month for you as well.

After mailing Steve the Christmas card weeks ago, you’d told yourself you’d be better off putting some space between you and him again.

You couldn’t have been more wrong. You were miserable.

You were also scared too.

Scared to open your heart again. Scared to trust someone so deeply.

The kiss had made everything all too real and emotions you’d been denying, hiding away for over half a year began making themselves known.

Without you even realizing it, over the duration of seven months, you’d developed feelings for Steve. You were attracted to him, that much was obvious, but it went so much deeper than that. He was the person you could always turn to—not for help alone, but just because you knew he was always in your corner.

He’d been there for so many of Hope’s milestones, watched her grow, been around so much that Hope had even mistaken him for her father. Truth be told though, somedays you wished Steve was her dad.

Realizations like that scared the shit out of you.

It had been so long since you depended on anyone but yourself. Even when you’d been with Hope’s biological father, you’d never really fully depended on him, you’d always trusted yourself more than anyone.

And there laid your problem.

You had opened yourself up far more than you’d ever allowed yourself to, with Steve. You’d let him help you when you usually would be too stubborn, too scared to ask for help. He’d seen you at your worst, your most vulnerable and yet he still kept coming around.

But how did you let someone in when you were scared to fully give yourself to that person?

As the days passed in a blur of the same old routine, that same question cycled through your brain.

You still hadn’t come up with an answer.

•

“It’s been how long?”

“About five weeks now,” Steve replied dully, gaze sliding over to Kelly.

They sat in their usual spots at the nurse’s desk. He was slumped back in his chair, bouncing it back and forward gently as he conversed with his friend. She sat on the desktop in front of him looking as grim as he felt.

“So why haven’t you tried going over to see her?” Kelly asked, exasperated.

“Kelly, if she’s not answering my phone calls, I doubt she wants to see me.”

“I just don’t understand how this happened,” she shook her head.

“Simple. I kissed her and fucked it all up because I got carried away and started thinking with my dick,” he mumbled.

“Normally I’d say you’re right, but that’s not exactly what I mean.”

“What do you mean?” he asked curiously.

“Well first, you didn’t mess up because you kissed her. Remember, she kissed you back—a lot.”

“Yeah, then tossed me out like hot garbage,” Steve retorted.

“Not my point Steve, stay with me. Anyways, what I mean is I don’t understand how this happened because you guys went from spending almost every free moment of your time together to nothing. How does that happen?”

“We didn’t spend every moment together,” he argued.

“Steve, focus,” Kelly reprimanded.

“I mean, it was before Christmas and things got really hectic here. I was taking extra shifts and I figured she just needed some time. I figured she’d come to me, then when she didn’t I figured I’d wait until things calmed down and the holidays were over and now—”

“Now you’ve gone five weeks without talking to her or trying to figure this thing out,” she interrupted him.

“Basically,” he shrugged.

“See this is one of those cases where waiting longer was not the smart thing to do. It just made it even harder and created an even bigger chasm between you two.”

“So, basically we’re back to it being my fault,” he sighed.

“No, we’re at the fact you both need to get your shit together and wise up,” she said.

“I don’t know, Kells,” he said, eyes trained on one nurse in particular that was new to their floor, one that had piqued his interest before returning his gaze to his friend.

“Maybe the wisest thing to do is nothing at all. Maybe it’s just wisest to do someone else.”

•

Nine Months Old

By the time February rolled around and the first full week had passed, it had been nearly 8 weeks since you’d seen or talked to Steve. Your soul quite literally felt fractured as if he had taken a piece of you that fateful day.

You knew it wasn’t going to be easy, but you’d decided to be honest with him. First, you were going to apologize profusely for completely disappearing, then you were going to tell him that you’d fallen in love with him.

You took it as a sign when in a rare occurrence as of late, Hope woke up at 4 am with a bout of energy. After feeding her, changing her diaper and putting her into some warmer clothes, you strapped her into her carrier and decided to pay Steve a visit.

You knew it was the least you could do after the way you’d treated him.

You’d just arrived on the pediatric floor, heading to the nurse’s desk to ask to see Steve when you heard the two nurses you’d just passed, talking around the corner. You’d stopped, setting down Hope’s carrier and the diaper bag, your arms aching and trying to psyche yourself up to confront Steve.

At first, the conversation didn’t interest you until you heard one of the women mention a title you were familiar with.

“You mean the most popular male nurse on the floor? The one that everyone loves?”

There was no way they weren’t discussing Steve. Your ears perked, interested in what they were discussing.

“Mhm. The very one.”

You could hear the smirk in the second woman’s voice. The first one spoke again.

“You’re telling me you’ve been hooking up with him? God, he’s so hot.”

It felt like your stomach bottomed out when you heard those words. Surely, you must be misunderstanding things. After all, you were only hearing snippets of a conversation anyways.

“We’ve hooked up a few times. No big deal.”

You could practically hear the smugness in the nurse’s words, making you feel sick.

“So tell me,” the friend asked, “What’s he like in bed?”

“A girl never kisses and tells,” you heard the other say coyly, “But I will tell you I never leave unsatisfied, that’s for sure.”

The rest of their conversation faded away as you felt a rush in your ears, as if you were underwater.

You felt like an idiot.

Of course he had been seeing someone. You didn’t own him, you weren’t in a relationship and he had every right to see whoever he pleased.

Then why did you feel like someone had just punched you in the stomach?

It had been a mistake to show up.

It would’ve been even worse if you’d actually made it to him and confessed your love. Oh God, that would’ve been mortifying.

It was probably better that you left before he found out you’d come to see him. But before you could gather Hope’s carrier and the diaper bag, you heard your name.

“Y/N? Y/N Y/L/N?”

You didn’t recognize the voice, but turned and saw a petite blonde nurse coming up to you. Her face was familiar, but you couldn’t quite place her.

“I don’t know if you remember me, but I was the other nurse in your room when you delivered, Kelly.”

“Oh, right!” you nodded, offering a smile, though at the moment you felt like doing the complete opposite, “I’m sorry I didn’t recognize you right away.”

“Don’t worry. It was a chaotic time, I understand. Is this your daughter?”

She looked down at Hope in her carrier who was peacefully chewing on her stuffed animal bunny, cooing.

“Yes. This is Hope,” you confirmed.

“Oh she’s so cute! Look how big you’ve gotten!” Kelly bent down, tickling Hope’s tummy making her giggle, “I was there when you were born, munchkin.”

Standing back up, she turned towards you.

“Are you here to see Steve? He’s just in with a patient, but I’ll go get him.”

You opened your mouth to speak—not sure whether to question how she knew or to make your excuses and leave.

“Oh sorry, I forgot to mention Steve’s one of my oldest friends and he’s mentioned you before. So I figured you were here to visit him.”

You really had to get out of here. But of course, with your track record, you weren’t fast enough.

“Oh, speak of the devil,” Kelly said, looking over her shoulder.

“What about me?” Steve asked, coming up behind her, stopping short when he caught his first glimpse of you.

He hadn’t noticed you standing with Kelly until he was right in front of the two of you.

“Y/N?”

Your chest ached, hearing his voice. At one point, you’d heard it every single day. Now, it was the first time you’d heard it in months and it hurt like hell after what you’d overheard.

“I better run. Gotta go check on patients and other nurse stuff, you know,” Kelly excused herself, “It’s nice to see you again, Y/N.”

You nodded at Kelly as she left and it wasn’t until she was far enough that you finally found your voice again.

“Yeah, hi,” you said awkwardly to Steve, “I um, I thought I’d come visit.”

“It’s been a while,” he said gruffly.

“Yeah, that’s my fault,” you looked down, refusing to look him directly in the eyes.

This was awkward, painful and so far from the comfort and ease you’d used to feel around him.

“How’s my little Hopey?” he asked, bending down to boop her nose.

She dropped her stuffed bunny and grinned wide up at Steve. She now had even more teeth—six to be exact. Two on the bottom and four across the top.

“Look at that beautiful smile,” he grinned at her, “I think you dropped this.”

He picked up her bunny and handed it back to her. She immediately took it back in her hand, going back to chewing on the ear.

“I won’t keep you long. I just wanted to apologize for the way I acted. It was wholeheartedly a me thing and nothing you did wrong,” you blabbered on, “I’m sorry for disappearing. I just needed time to get my head on straight. I hope you don’t hate me and I hope you can forgive me. If you can’t, I’ll understand. I just wanted you to know I’m sorry.

He was still crouched next to Hope’s carrier, playing with her as you talked, but he finally looked up at you.

You wanted to kick yourself for being so stupid. For realizing way too late that you were in love with this stupidly handsome, generous, caring and all together amazing man.

Today’s scrubs were a deep red and though he wasn’t donning his glasses, they were folded over the neckline of the top, laying against his chest. His hair was a little shorter now and perhaps styled a bit differently, some strands flopping over onto his forehead, though it looked like he’d pushed it back with his hands multiple times over the shift. His brown eyes looked up at you and though you could tell through them before, you couldn’t tell now what he was feeling.

Your eyes ran over his face at the freckles and moles that covered his face and neck that you were so used to seeing, never once before thinking just how much you wanted to trail kisses over them, knowing now that some other girl had that advantage. Or that he kissed someone else with those pale pink lips that had felt so soft against yours. That he had kissed you like you’d never had anyone kiss you before.

“I could never hate you,” he replied honestly, “Thank you for coming to apologize. I know how hard that must be.”

He truly had no idea, especially now.

You nodded awkwardly.

“If you’re up for it, how about dinner tomorrow? Same time, same place? It’ll be good to catch up.”

He was offering you an olive branch. You would be stupid not to take it, so you agreed.

“Sounds great.”

•

Steve practically leapt out of his seat at the loud crash of a clipboard being slammed against the desk in front of him. He looked up to see none other than Kelly.

“Okay. What the fuck did you do to her?”

“To who? What are you talking about?”

His brows creased in confusion and his best friend groaned and fell back into her chair.

“To Y/N, you idiot.”

“I didn’t do anything to her…?”

Kelly tried her best to suppress the eye roll she felt like giving him and tried to remain patient with her friend. He was a man after all.

“Then why did she look like a kicked puppy?”

“She did?”

This time, Kelly did roll her eyes. Lord, give her the strength.

“Okay, let me put it this way. Does it have anything to do with you sleeping with Holly?”

His look of bewilderment was almost comical to her. Steve had no idea how she knew about that and he asked her as much.

“Please. With the way that girl’s been flapping her gums? There’s no way I haven’t heard about it. What I want to know is if Y/N found out.”

“I…”

He felt panic rise up in him. He didn’t know why exactly it made him feel horrible, but he did.

He had every right to see other people and not feel bad about it. Kelly sighed, patting him on his shoulder as she got up, walking off to her newest patient’s room.

He hoped maybe it would all blow over soon enough.

•

Ten Months Old

While Hope was busy growing, going from crawling to pulling herself up, saying only one word to being able to say a few more words—like mama and ball—to being able to wave and hold her own bottle during feedings, you and Steve had become the opposite. You’d both seemed stunted in comparison.

Spending time with one another was common again, but it was more than obvious you both were avoiding the elephant in the room—the growing awkwardness of never talking about where you stood.

Now, instead of talking about anything and everything from Hope to current events just because, you both did it as a means to avoid any hard conversations. The more time passed though, the more you felt it weighing on you.

You desperately wanted to ask about the nurse that you’d overheard a month ago, but didn’t think it was your place to. After all, you weren’t a couple and it wasn’t any of your business anyway, no matter how much it hurt to think of him in another woman’s bed.

Steve, on the other hand, was baffled at what was causing such a growing rift between them. Sure, they still met up, spent time together and talked, but he could feel the valley of unsaid things between them. He knew at some point, that rubber band of tension would stretch too far and break.

He’d dismissed Kelly’s concerns about Y/N finding out about Holly. After all, he’d only slept with her a handful of times and that dalliance had ended after Y/N had showed up at the hospital with Hope to apologize. He’d made sure to end it that day.

At the same time, Steve was struggling with his own conflicting emotions and revelations that he didn’t want to quite admit to himself. The main one being why he decided to pursue Holly in the first place.

Yet on you and Steve went with this charade, acting like all was fine, but you knew you were on borrowed time. It would all have to come out eventually.

That day came sooner than you had even hoped. Ironically what had began as a good day, ended up a horrible one.

You and Steve sat in your living room as he’d come over before he had to head into work later that evening. Hope was busy playing on the floor. Once she’d started crawling a few months ago, she hadn’t stopped moving. The same went for your daughter now. She was constantly testing her limits to see what she could do.

“No, no, Hope,” you chided, when she tried to stick her finger in the air vent in the floor.

You picked her up and sat her back down on the floor in front of her toys.

“Oh she’s getting rebellious now, isn’t she?” Steve chuckled.

“I’m telling you, she’s smart that’s for sure. She’s always trying new things to see what she can get away with or seeing what she can do. I swear I think that’s why she started crawling at six months, she just couldn’t wait to get moving.”

“Hey, she’s a busy girl. New place to explore, things to chew,” he retorted.

You chuckled, watching Hope pull herself up with the help of holding onto the edge of the couch.

“She’s been doing that so much lately. I wonder if she’ll take any steps soon,” you pondered out loud.

“It’s possible,” Steve answered, “Obviously it varies from baby to baby, but it can be as early as ten months to as late as fourteen or fifteen months. Some just like to crawl longer, some don’t crawl at all and skip straight to walking. It’s fascinating when you think about it.”

“You gonna show Steve how big of a girl you are and take a step?” you grinned at Hope, who babbled at you.

She was holding onto the couch at the other end from where you two were seated. You both got up, crouching in front of her, encouraging her.

“Come on Hopey, I know you can do it,” Steve grinned at her.

She baby talked, letting go of the couch as she took one awkward step on her own and then two more before falling on her bottom, looking a little surprised.

“You did it!” you squealed.

Steve cheered just as much as you did, picking her up and lifting her in the air. Hope instantly forgot that she’d fallen on her tush as she squealed, grinning wide at him.

When the moment passed, your eyes locked with his and you knew it was time for the inevitable.

“Can we-” he began.

“I overheard some nurses talking when I went to see you last month,” you blurted.

Steve winced. Kelly had been right all along.

He put Hope down with her toys, situating her with her stuffed bunny before turning back to you.

“Let me guess, you heard about the fact that I’ve been seeing one of the new nurses?” he asked.

“Seeing is a loose term, I’d think,” you quipped.

“Now that’s not fair,” he responded, “I’m allowed to see or sleep with whoever I want to in my free time. It’s not like we’re together.”

You sighed, dragging your hands down your face, not wanting to admit the truth, but you knew you had to if this conversation was to go anywhere.

“I know. I guess I just felt jealous and betrayed.”

“Betrayed?” Steve’s brows furrowed, “It’s not like I cheated on you or anything.”

“That’s not what I’m saying,” you replied firmly.

“Then what are you saying? Because I personally felt betrayed when you just disappeared into thin air for two fucking months.”

His tone was now harsher and you felt your shoulders stiffen.

“I know and that’s my fault, I get it. I freaked out and got scared. But when I came to see you last month to apologize and talk to you, I find out you’ve already got yourself a nice side piece!”

“Well maybe you aren’t the only one good at playing games,” he shot back.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“It means that for almost a year, I’ve constantly been here for you, yet you play these mind games. One minute you’re telling me you need me and can’t do this without me then the next you drop me like a hot potato. What else am I supposed to think?”

“Maybe that I’m struggling and having a hard time trusting someone other than myself?!”

“You’re not the only one with issues, Y/N. The world doesn’t revolve around you.”

You scoffed.

“I never said it did! I made a mistake and owned up to it, yet you go off and start fucking some nurse?”

“Newsflash. You aren’t the only one that’s lonely.”

Your pressed your lips together as you tried to control your temper and get a hold of this conversation before it got too out of hand.

This wasn’t how you wanted to do it, but you felt like you had no other choice than to admit to it now. You took a deep breath, trying to calm your quivering voice.

“The day I came to apologize, I was going to tell you that I’d fallen in love with you. Guess it’s a good thing I didn’t after I heard that nurse talking about how much she was seeing you.”

He barked a laugh, no humor in it.

“Well maybe because unlike you, Holly actually pays attention to how I feel.”

You reeled back like he’d slapped you. Not only did he not acknowledge your admission, he’d struck you where it hurt the most.

He ran a hand through his hair, his hands firm on his hips, body tense with anger.

“I got to get to work.”

You said nothing as he got up and left, slamming the door behind him.

Hope startled at the loud sound and started crying. You picked her up in your arms, your own tears streaming down your face.

“It’s okay to cry, baby. Sometimes, that’s all you can do.”

•

Eleven Months Old

“This feels like a rerun of a show I’ve already watched,” Kelly quipped.

“Normally, I’d appreciate your humor, but now is not one of those times,” Steve mumbled.

“As your best friend and work wife, I’d just like to say you’re an idiot.”

“Thank you. That’s extremely helpful,” he deadpanned.

“Honestly though, why have you guys stopped talking again? Because of a silly little fight?”

“She was hurt I slept with Holly and I was hurt that she ditched me,” Steve answered, “We haven’t spoke since then. We said a lot of hurtful things.”

“Alright. Let’s put a pin in this for a moment. Why did you sleep with Tits McGee?”

He gave her a look, but answered her anyways, with a shrug.

“I was lonely Kells and it’d been awhile. Besides she wanted me and sometimes it’s nice to feel wanted.”

“Honestly, am I the only person in this unit that doesn’t want your dick? You can’t be that amazing in bed. I mean we slept together once and I can’t remember a damn thing.”

“We were drunk college kids then,” Steve retorted.

“Still. If you were that spectacular I would’ve remembered it whether I was drunk or not,” she replied.

“Why am I friends with you again?”

“Because you love me,” she grinned innocently, “Anyways, back to your issue. Did the random girl mean anything to you?”

“Not really, no. I mean every time I closed my eyes I imagined it was Y/N, not Holly underneath me. That it was her moans and her sighs.”

“Steve, you know I’m usually all for our TMI conversations—which by the way, I feel like I’m getting a UTI—”

Steve cut her off with a groan and an unamused look.

“Sorry, anyways, why the fuck are you telling me this? Tell Y/N, that!”

“I’ve messed up one too many times with her. I mean maybe we just aren’t meant to work out.”

Kelly sighed, knowing she was going to have to spell it out to him.

“She told you she loved you, Steve.”

“Yeah, but that’s what she was going to say before the Holly thing. It might not be true anymore.”

“Based on the way she looked that day I saw her? I’d say it’s definitely still true,” she said.

“But you could be wrong about that,” he argued.

“Steve, I’m gonna be blunt with you.”

“When aren’t you?” he quipped, a small smile quirking his lips.

“I know we made that pact a long time ago that if I never met a man and wanted a kid, you’d give me your sperm, but you’ve found true love. That woman with that adorable baby is in love with you, Steve. I’m tired of watching you fuck it all up.”

“So what do I do?” he asked, feeling quite literally like a lost puppy.

“What they do in the movies, dumbass. You go after her.”

•

Spring had arrived and despite the warmer weather, the cold snap between you and Steve had made you miserable.

Hope was now old enough to remember and recognize Steve and you could tell she missed him too. She tended to be more fussy and clingy lately, but then again, maybe that was just the teething.

You felt like you were at the end of your rope. You had no idea what to do when it came to Steve and had begun to think maybe you just weren’t meant to work it out. Maybe, you were just too different.

You were cleaning up Hope’s face from her lunch when you heard a knock on your door.

“Coming!” you called to the visitor, hurrying to set Hope on the living room floor with her toys before scurrying to the door.

When you opened it, you figured to see a delivery man, one of your neighbors, hell even your landlord. You did not expect to see Steve standing there.

“Steve,” you breathed.

Before you could say anything else, his hands were on your face, cradling it as he brought his lips to yours.

You wouldn’t have been exaggerating when you said your knees literally went weak from the relief. Just to see him again, feel him again, kiss him again.

The time would come to talk, but for right now, you just kissed him like he was the first taste of water you’d had after a trip through the desert.

“Da da”

You both parted and looked down, laughing at Hope who’d crawled over to the door—she hadn’t walked yet, but she was so close—and pulled herself up by Steve’s pant leg. She now stood, holding onto it, trying to look up at him.

He laughed, face bright with happiness as he bent down to pick her up.

“Well hello to you too, munchkin,” he grinned, kissing her cheek, before looking back at you, “Sorry about that…I had a whole speech prepared and then I just saw you and well, that plan vanished.”

You laughed, giddy with relief just to be with him again.

“It’s okay. I’m sorry for all the things I said. It wasn’t fair, I know.”

You ushered him in, closing the door behind him. He sat Hope back down when she started wiggling to get down. She returned to her toys, none the wiser to the two of you.

“I wanted to apologize too. I said things that I didn’t mean. Things just got so confusing and difficult and I never meant for them to get that way. You had every right to be hurt about Holly,” he swallowed hard, nervous to continue, but he forged ahead, “I was selfish and made a big mistake because, fuck, Y/N, the few times I was with her, all I could imagine was it was you under me. All I wanted was you. I couldn’t forget you.”

Your heartbeat sped up and your mouth went dry. You couldn’t believe—had no idea he’d felt the same way about you as you had him.

“And that’s over,” Steve continued, “I actually broke things off with her the day you came to visit me two months ago. It was then I knew I made a big mistake. I was lonely and stupid and a dumbass, I know. I was just afraid to admit how I felt about you for fear you wouldn’t want me. I know how hard it has been for you to trust again, to truly give yourself one hundred percent to someone again. But if you think you can, I’d want nothing more than to be the one you trust. I knew you were special, Y/N. I knew it from the moment I first set eyes on you in the labor and delivery ward all those months ago.”

You were crying, again. Honestly, if you hadn’t scared him off by your amount of tears alone throughout this past year then that was a major accomplishment. Emotion clogged your throat and you were unable to speak, but it was alright because Steve wasn’t done just yet.

“If you want to take it slow, that’s fine by me. We can take it as slow as you want. I just want to be with you. With you and Hope. I adore her so much and I know there’s the logistics of her calling me daddy and if you don’t want that, that’s okay, she can call me Steve. Or if that is okay, I’d love for her to—”

“Steve,” you laughed, interrupting his rambling.

He stopped, a sheepish look on his face.

“Will you shut up and kiss me again?”

He happily obliged.

•

Twelve Months Old

Time is an odd thing. Sometimes it feels too fast while other times it feels too slow.

You realized just how much truth there was in the saying that the days are long, but the years were short because somehow, in a blink of an eye, your precious Hope was a year old.

You decided to celebrate with just you, Hope and Steve. There wasn’t really anyone to invite to a party and you didn’t think Hope would mind forgoing a party she wouldn’t remember.

The three of you spent the entire day together, Steve surprising Hope with a trip to the zoo, which she had a blast at. You took turns pushing the stroller, taking her out so she could look at the animals.

She pointed, babbled and gawked at different animals and even got to pet a giraffe. You weren’t sure who was more excited about that part, you or her.

Afterwards, Steve treated the two of you McDonalds. Hope was now old enough to gnaw on some fries, which she had recently discovered she absolutely loved—a girl after your own heart honestly.

Steve didn’t even bother with getting her a high chair as he sat with her in his lap the entire time you two ate. As cliché as it sounded, your face actually hurt from smiling so much. The last time you’d been this happy was the first time you’d heard Hope’s cries as she announced her presence to the world. It was no coincidence that Steve was there for such a monumental moment then or now. You knew now that he was meant to be in your life.

Despite having a small cake back at your apartment for her birthday, Steve bought an ice cream cone just to let Hope have a few tastes.

“You’re going to spoil her rotten,” you laughed.

“Hey, you only turn one once. Besides, we haven’t even gotten to presents yet,” he winked.

When you’d returned to your place, Hope immediately fussed to be put down as she wanted to play.

“Don’t you want your gift, Hopey?” Steve asked, holding up a gift bag.

She looked up at her name and stood, taking a few teetering steps at first. You and Steve both froze as you saw her take the last few steps towards you and Steve.

“Hope!” you squealed, picking her up, “You walked all by yourself!”

Not truly realizing what she’d done, she grinned wide at the two of you.

“That was the best present ever, baby,” you smiled, kissing her cheek repeatedly.

She shrieked and laughed, trying to push you away.

“Why don’t we open your present from daddy Steve?” you asked her, sitting down with her in your lap.

He raised an amused eyebrow and you shrugged.

“Hey, if she’s gonna keep calling you dada. I thought I’d ease you into it, if you’d like to be her father figure that is,” you said.

“I couldn’t think of a better honor,” he replied wholeheartedly.

You both burst out laughing when Hope practically snatched the gift bag out of Steve’s hands in the short time that you spoke.

“Okay, okay. We get it, you’re ready,” Steve chuckled, handing it to her.

She struggled a bit, getting quite sidetracked by the tissue paper, finding it quite entertaining. You helped her out, pulling out another little stuffed bunny. This one had the name Hope embroidered on the ear.

“Oh Steve,” you breathed, “This is perfect. But it’s way too much.”

“No it’s not. I wanted to get her something special. Besides, I figured her first little bunny could use a friend.”

She babbled, taking it out of your hand, almost immediately tucking it under her arm.

“I think she likes it,” you smiled.

“Good. I’m glad.”

•

Cake was postponed for later as Hope promptly fell asleep against Steve’s chest for her afternoon nap. He’d been reluctant to put her in her crib, but he knew she’d sleep better that way. Before he tiptoed out of the bedroom, he rubbed her back soothingly.

“Happy birthday little Hope. Thank you for bringing me and your mommy together.”

When he returned to the living room, you were busy cleaning up the mess of toys that the now one year old you had, could produce.

Steve grinned as he plopped down on the couch, reaching out to grab you by the waist and pull you into his lap. You squealed at the sudden movement, laughing as you landed in his lap.

“Thank you,” he smiled.

“For what?” you asked, brows furrowed in confusion.

“For deciding to take a chance on me, on us. For trusting me. For choosing me to be the one to love you like you should be loved.”

You had no words for him, so you showed him how you felt as you leaned down and connected your lips with his in a soft kiss.

When you pulled away, you sighed, leaning into him.

“What are you thinking about?” he questioned.

“Just how much has happened this year,” you said.

You thought of that scared girl you’d been exactly a year ago when you were in labor. You thought of the sleep deprived mother you’d been in those first few months and how Steve had helped you through it. You thought of that awkward pair of friends at the beginning of your relationship, just getting to know one another but having a connection that only the birth of your baby girl had provided. You thought of you and Steve as you grew closer, fought, went through misunderstandings and confusion, yet still managed to make your way back to one another. All in a year.

Just as Hope had grown, developed and changed, so had your relationship with Steve.

Life was always filled with surprises. Some good, some not so good, but it wouldn’t be worth it if was easy all the time. You were thankful for all the lessons that both Hope and Steve had taught you and the growth they’d both invoked in you.

“Steve?”

“Yes?”

You looked down into his warm brown eyes. They were the same kind ones that had greeted you the first time he walked into your hospital room. You smiled at him before speaking.

“For as long as you’ll have me, I’m yours.”

#steve harrington #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x fem!reader #steve harrington blurb #steve harrington fic #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington angst #stranger things #stranger things fic #stranger things blurb #stranger things fluff #stranger things angst

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earthtooz · 1 year

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ヾ(･u|

hi hi just wanted to share smth I thought up

imagine chigiri who in middle school had a best friend who was also very fast and did track. They were the only one who could ever catch up with chigiri and thus they became best friends and their own sorta rivals.

Then suddenly fast track to chigiri's injury and now seeing their best friend who runs like wind and is now bitter af. He knows he shouldnt be bitter when they have been caring the whole time for him so he starts ignoring them.

some chigiri love will be shown on the earthtooz blog 2nite because i adore him and think he deserves the world.

i actually love this scenario, but just- oh my gosh, i want to add on to your thought with my own:

your 'relationship' with him is admittedly, one of your favourite ones, despite neither of you seeing much of each other during school. but you were known to be on the track team and chigiri for being the fasted sprinter on the soccer team.

and on the bleachers after practice, a friendship/friendly rivalry was born.

for two of the fastest people on their respective teams, your parents sure did not reciprocate that energy, taking their times picking you up from practice. thus, you would spend an unknown amount of time talking to him, bundled up in your sports tracksuits with your sports bag snug on your shoulder.

chigiri was pleasant company. a little stuck-up, sure, but fun to talk to nevertheless. you could tell he took great pride in being a fast runner, but as long as he had the skills to prove it, pride is something you can overlook. it was endearing. he still lost to you every time in a 100m sprint though.

you gave him tips one time. you'd never forgive yourself for helping chigiri almost beat you.

but you admire him for it. you admire his talent and his determination,

then suddenly, he's not at practice. he's not at school either. in fact, it's not a week later until you see him... with crutches and a boot. the look he gives you is empty and devoid of the usual friendliness he always shows you and he doesn't even make attempts of greeting you.

his mum picks him on time too.

you get the message that he doesn't want to talk to you. he doesn't make the effort to anymore, doesn't swing by your class during lunch time, doesn't say 'hi' to you before practice, and his coldness causes your heart to break in two.

people had always told you that distance makes the heart fonder. you found out yourself that the saying was as true as they make it sound, your heart jumping alive and filling you with unexplainable yearning. a feeling you later label as a crush. not that your crush on him could do much now.

you see him struggle in practices, witnessing the way the ball gets stolen off him- something that had never been done before, with such ease. he meets your gaze from where you were filling up your water and instantly glances away, ashamed.

the next time you hear of him after graduating middle school, he's on national television, going against the national u-20 soccer team, representing some... project called blue lock? you don't pay any mind to it though, sitting on the edge of your couch in anticipation. the world was watching chigiri hyoma- the prodigy you knew in middle school.

you panic a little when he gets subbed out and you're scrambling for your phone, searching for chigiri's contact. your old messages that were left on delivered appear, causing a subtle ache in your chest to manifest, but the first thing you send is an 'i'm watching the match. are you ok?'.

the next thing you send is a 'CONGRATULATIONS!' when his team wins.

you get a response an hour later, it's chigiri thanking you. his next text asks you to catch up over coffee. you agree as soon as the message is received.

one coffee 'date' turns into a day in harajuku. a walk together turns into visiting a local park and playing on the swing set, jokingly racing each other to each equipment and your feelings for him return full swing by the end of the two week break he has.

you spend his last day together. he tells you to keep an eye on him. that he'll become even better of a soccer player that either of you imagined in middle school. you make him keep the promise to you with a pinky promise. he agrees. you're satisfied.

and fast forward a few years, it's the night before the finals of the world cup and he's in your arms in the hotel room, self-care routine all done as you let him unwind with you in preparation for the big match tomorrow.

he tells you to watch him. that he'll bring home a medal for you. you make him pinky promise you. he agrees. he kisses your ring finger, where a precious gold band sits snugly, a reminder of his love and the years you have spent with the other.

thank u for ur ask !! sorry that i've been letting this one rot for a while but i've been waiting to get this one out since the day you sent it :D love the idea, thank u chaos!!

#not edited #not proofread #you take what you get from me at this point #i have an exam tomorrow okay wish me luck #chigiri hyoma x reader #chigiri x reader #blue lock x reader #earf's inbox hours ✌️#*ੈ✩‧₊˚ earf's ideas that i'll never write #chaosinanutshell

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leggerefiore · 9 months

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hello :’) hope ur having a good day!!

would u be willing to write HCs for yandere volo? can be both sfw and nsfw if u want!!

love ur blog!!

I. I never wrote Volo yan hcs lmao??? I swore I did, but I checked, and somehow I just... didn't lol??? maybe not nsfw for now because I just haven't been able to write horny content for some reason. might be a bit bad too since I'm rusty on writing yan stuff

cw: yandere, kidnapping, unhealthy relationships, Volo isn't really nice, dark content,

💫Yandere Volo📜

⭐️ He's not a romantic. That much is apparent in his behaviour. The only way to catch his attention is to either be useful for or threatening to his plans. More over, he feels like most people aren't worthy of his time. His friendly facade is just that – a facade. He's observant and careful, searching for any issues that could arise as he works towards his goal of forcing Arceus out of hiding – forcing Arceus to finally acknowledge him.

⭐️ That is why you, someone who had fallen from the portal he ripped in the sky above Hisui, intrigued him so dearly. The other one proved an amnesic old man, but you? Not so much. He could see a fire in you. It was why he approached you and challenged you to a battle. The blond could see your familiarity in battling, too. You were a threat to his plans. Especially so as you cleared through the frenzied Nobles. His frustration was intense towards you, but he hid it behind a veneer of concern and friendliness.

⭐️ You haunted his brain as he wandered around the ruins and temples of Hisui. Who were you? Volo felt unable to escape your chokehold on his mind. It was not pure chance that a capable trainer fell through the very portal he had Giratina claw into the sky. He hated the way his heart raced, and his blood burned at the realisation. You had been sent by the very deity he sought to satiate his curiosity. The merchant had leaned forward and punched a tree in his frustration. Why you? Why did Arceus stand so staunchly against him? Why did his heart race at the thought of you?

⭐️ Volo originally started stalking you solely to see how you would stand in his plans, but as he slowly realises that Arceus sent you, it changes. He knows what you're doing at any moment in time. You never even noticed the blond just right behind you. The way he subtly aided you or left helpful items around. An Ursaring you failed to notice creeping towards you? His Lucario quickly stopped the bear from getting too close to you. He spends too much time following you around, unaware of the strange feelings blossoming in his brain.

⭐️ The blond remains amicable towards you, not daring to let the mask he so carefully built slip away to reveal the poisonous stew boiling just under it. Volo envies you; utterly and completely. He speaks with you in a friendly manner while you stand around with the clan leaders or that little twerp from the Galaxy Team. His jealousy towards these connections you hold bubbles aggressively inside him. Were they really worthy of your attention? He shook the thought from his mind and grinned at you playfully.

⭐️ His heart raced as he saw you sitting alone in the Obisidian Fieldlands, tears pouring from your eyes. He already knew what happened. The sky above Hisui corrupted with colours and strange energy. The final part of his plan had come to fruition. Much too late, as he already changed his gears. The plates seemed more likely to help him gather the deity's attention. After all, you were clearly sent to clean up his mess. Poor, poor you. Volo enjoyed the way you buried yourself in his chest, terrified and desperate for a friend.

⭐️ It was then Volo came to another realisation, this time towards his own feelings. The sight of you clinging to him, desperate for his touch. Addicting, he'd say. His hand pressed softly to your back, and he spoke softly as he could to comfort you. Volo... wouldn't say he loved you, but he wanted you. His madness led him to wanting to take Arceus's powers as his own, after all. He could have whatever he wanted. Especially someone chosen by the deity.

⭐️ He helped you in beating the two Sinnoh legendaries, with collecting the red chain from the Lake Guardians. He stood by your side as you faced down the commander of the Galaxy Team. Now, all he had to do was collect you when you least expected it. Volo continued to fool you throughout the situation as you searched for the plates with him. His luck when you mentioned wanting to know more Hisuian legends amazed him. The search with you only fed his fascination. The way you reacted and felt, he needed to see it all.

⭐️ Even meeting Arceus, as significant as it was, felt less important than his obsession with you. Volo mulled over what to do with you. While he had you at his side for now, he knew you would likely turn on him when he revealed his true plans. He hated the idea of you opposing him. No, he wanted you as you had been when you were kicked from Jubilife, desperate and pitiful in his hands. Volo sighed as he faced the Renegade pokemon once more.

⭐️ The blond hid you away in the Distortion World, no longer willing to share what he felt he had a rightful claim to. If Arceus wouldn't acknowledge them, then he would take the deity's chosen one in return. He would break you down here into the partner he needed. You looked so terrified as you woke up in the strange world. Oh, well. He had no intentions of swaying from his newest plans.

⭐️ Volo is hard to pin down. He's not overly affectionate for the most part, but there are moments where he drowns himself in you, demanding your attention and touch and settling for nothing less. Perhaps an attempt to make up for what he lacked in his youth, or just something fuelled by the madness of his obsession. You may find yourself preferring the needier version of him that he provides rather than the cruel one that stares down at you with shrunken pupils and a haunting smirk. “… My, my, I wonder how that deity feels about what I've done to you,” he whispers into your ear as he holds you close to him, both of you shaking in an embrace.

⭐️ You're alone in this dimension, save for Volo and Giratina. And seeing as Giratina is most subservient to Volo and a pokemon... You basically just have Volo as company. He's not overly doting, but he makes sure your needs are tended to. Food, usually bought at the Wallflower or something prepackaged from the Ginkgo Guild. You can request things, but it's not always easy to get everything you want. He's trying at the very least.

⭐️ Punishments aren't something he likes to do, admittedly. Volo likes seeing you afraid and desperate, not in pain (too much). He leaves you alone in the Distortion World for a while with just enough to survive usually. You'll begin to lose yourself in the isolation and pure oddity of the world to the point you cling to him desperately. Volo feels smug at the point, certain you're getting ever closer to his end goal. “I do hate having to leave you like this,” he speaks in a calm tone as you cling to him desperately, “Wouldn't it just be easier to do what I say? Why do you bother resisting?”

⭐️ Volo truly wants you to submit to him; to worship him like he did Arceus. He watches as you go from the confident Survey Corps member to a desperate shell that he's more than happy to fill. His touch is comforting and toxic. His thumb and index finger digging into your cheeks as he asks you to worship him, eyes wholly different from the gentle ones of his facade. It's easy to lean into his words, unable to escape them or him. Time passes oddly in the Distortion World, too. Everything becomes easier when you just listen to Volo. Maybe he truly was a god. You fall into his delusions at some point.

⭐️ When he's certain you're a true believer in whatever he is, you'll be returned to Hisui. The light of the sun reminding you much of the golden locks of Volo. You don't dare defy or run from the blond at this point, convinced of his something akin to divinity. Volo is smug about everything, enjoying how you are seemingly unaffected by your “friends” joy over your return. You fully support him as he leads you up to the Temple of Sinnoh, plates in hand, to summon the deity to this world and let Volo subjugate it to achieve his true end.

⭐️ It would be relatively easy for you to escape after he returns you to Hisui, but the issue is whether you could overcome all the conditioning he set upon you in the Distortion World to actually call out for help. Even as Cyllene questions just where you were and what happened to you, it's difficult for you to speak out. If you did manage to explain the situation, you would most certainly be protected and guarded. It would deter Volo (and annoy him heavily), but ultimately, he would continue with his plans to use Arceus. In his more favourable world – you won't even be able to turn against him.

⭐️ Ultimately, he falls for someone deemed worthy by Arceus and wants to corrupt them into worshipping him instead. He wants to claim all of them and mould them into his dedicated worshipper. Volo is not a romantic, but he does love you in a way, even if it's built from both envy and fascination. If his plans with Arceus fails? Well, he isn't above disappearing both of you and hiding away from the rest of the world. He's upset his dream has failed, but smug that he corrupted one with Arceus's blessing to such a degree. Besides, this doesn't have to be the end for his dream. He just needs to rethink it.

#volo x reader #yandere x reader #yandere volo x reader #yandere pokemon x reader #volo/reader #yandere volo/reader #yandere/reader #yandere pokemon/reader #yandere #yanstuff

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abyssruler · 2 years

Text

THE ADEPTI’S GUIDE ON HOW TO NOT CATCH FEELINGS FOR THE STRANGE MORTAL WHO HAS A MASSIVE CRUSH ON YOUR PSEUDO-DAD

step one: don’t go to the statue for healing

pairing: xiao x fem!reader

summary: ever since you were a child, you had sworn to everyone you’ve ever met that one day you’re going to marry rex lapis, and never once has your resolve wavered. so why is your heart suddenly doing gymnastics whenever that weird adeptus fellow shows up?! he should be helping you get with rex lapis, not trying to be cute with that little happy face he makes as he takes a bite off the almond tofu you made him!

note: fem!reader, slight crack, comedy, reader is a dumbass and xiao is moronsexual that’s it that’s the fic, lumine and hu tao being wingmen, every playable character in liyue appears at some point, reader is the biggest rex lapis simp, and no you don’t know that zhongli is rex lapis

series masterlist

next step

People like to say that you’re a weird kid. You much prefer the term unique. After all, it isn’t everyday that someone makes it their life’s mission to marry their Archon.

Besides, you’ve met plenty of other people you can confidently call weirder than you. Case number one: Hu Tao, aka the Funeral Director’s granddaughter, aka your best friend. Case number two: Chongyun, your local popsicle dealer. Case number three: Xiangling, the trauma-inducer who proved to you that not everything is, in fact, edible and you should most definitely be wary the next time she offers you any food.

And case number four: Xingqiu.

You don’t think that last one needs any sort of explanation. Anyone who’s as filthy rich as him and chooses to spend their time with commoners like you instead of basking in their mora is weird (in hindsight, it wasn’t a very logical reason, but it very much made sense in your ten-year-old brain). That, and he’s a huge nerd, though that can be forgiven since he’s your main source of information regarding your future husband, Rex Lapis.

Which brings you to the conclusion that yes, maybe there’s a little bit of truth in it whenever someone calls you weird, but surrounding yourself with even weirder people cancels the weirdness out in some complex mathematical way. So while they may be, possibly, likely telling the truth, they’re also technically lying.

So, no, you’re not weird. End of story.

“Let me get this straight, you’re trying to hire me in advance as the musician for your future wedding with Rex Lapis?”

You nod, placing a hand on her shoulder. “Of course! Who else would I hire besides the best musician I know?”

“I’m the only musician you know,” Xinyan points out with amusement.

“Details! Once your parents finally get off your back about music, I just know you’re gonna be amazing!” You offer her a high five. “So are you in?”

She stares at your hand for a moment, an unreadable look crossing her face before it smooths out into a wide grin. Her palm slaps over yours in a high five.

“Well, duh! What kind of person would I be to reject a once in a lifetime’s offer of performing in a god’s wedding?” She laughs, slinging her arm over your shoulder. You smile at her easy acceptance, of not calling you weird like the other kids.

Hm. Another one recruited into your band of supporters, aka the only people who actually believe you when you say you’re going to marry Rex Lapis. Excellent.

✧

“Is this really necessary?”

“Of course it is! What kind of future wife would I be if I didn’t at least clean up my future husband’s statues?” you respond, not once pausing in your motions of scrubbing the base of the statue.

Chongyun sighs but makes no move to stop as he sweeps up dead leaves. “You know, if you channeled half as much energy as you did into your studies, you wouldn’t have to constantly beg Xingqiu to tutor you.”

“We’re eleven—wait, actually, I’m eleven, you’re still an eeny bitty kid who’s ten—but back to my point, in a few years’ time my grades won’t matter. Have you ever heard Granny Ruoxin bragging about how she got high scores when she was in school? No. Which is why I don’t have to bother putting in the effort as long as I’m passing.”

“You’re barely passing,” Hu Tao cackles from her seat in the shade away from the sun’s merciless rays, having gotten the easiest task of being the provider of food and cleaning supplies.

You frown. “Well, school’s not really important anyway.”

“Yes it is,” Chongyun argues, ever the voice of reason.

You despair at the lack of Xiangling’s presence. She’d have taken your side. Hell, even Xingqiu and Xinyan would’ve agreed with you. It’s not like grades mattered to a rich kid and a future musician.

Hu Tao suddenly sits up, a look on her face that tells you you’re not gonna like what she’s about to say. “Hey, didn’t the elders finally allow you to attend the Rite of Descension next month?”

Finally, you pause from cleaning the statue. “Yeah, they did.”

Her smile turns positively mischievous. “Doesn’t Rex Lapis give out words of wisdom each year? How about you ask him what he thinks about the importance of school?”

Your jaw drops. “No way! Like I’d ever ask him such a useless question.”

“Oh really? Are you sure it’s not because you’re scared he’ll disagree with you?” she says, egging you on.

Unable to come up with a suitable argument, you concede. “Oh, fine! I’ll ask him that, but you better prepare your apology speech for when I’m proven right.”

✧

Here is how your first meeting with Rex Lapis goes: an incredibly nervous you, the very large, very dragon-y him, and an entire audience’s worth of people at your back, watching your interaction and waiting for their turn to be given wisdom by the Lord of Geo.

It barely lasts a minute. The good thing, however, is that you managed to ask him if he thought school was important with only minimal stuttering, and that he answered.

The bad thing is that Hu Tao does not, in fact, owe you an apology speech.

✧

Within the next two months, your grades skyrocket. Your teachers are all very impressed with your improvement and asked what brought this change on.

“Love, Miss Shu Xian, love has changed me,” you tell your teacher before walking away, feeling like a character from one of Xingqiu’s novels.

“What a strange kid…” your teacher mutters as she watches you place your hand on the balcony’s railings and pretend to look wisely over the surroundings—the surroundings being the large, stained wall of the neighboring restaurant of your school.

✧

“You’ll really do that for me?” you ask, tears forming at the corner of your eyes.

Yun Jin laughs, sounding like an angel sent from above and handing you a handkerchief to dab at your eyes with. “Of course! What are friends for? I promise to sing only the very best songs and dance the liveliest dances of all.”

You blow your nose loudly into the handkerchief. “Don’t pressure yourself! I don’t need it to be the best, even your presence alone would be enough.”

“Ah, but it’s your future wedding, a once in a lifetime event, that would be no time to slack,” she argues, still managing to look graceful even after you’ve ruined her well-embroidered handkerchief with tears and snot. She places her hand on your shoulder. “Now, what has happened? You’re not normally so easily reduced to tears.”

You sniffle. “The usual.” When she purses her lips like a disapproving mother, you’re forced to elaborate. “Just some girls thinking they could pick on the weird kid who wants to marry our Archon. Nothing new.”

Her eyes soften. “I’m sorry.”

You wave her off, forcing out a laugh. “That was no issue. You should’ve seen the look on their faces when I threw a bucket of dirty water at them.” You were in the middle of cleaning another statue, not your fault the nearest thing was the bucket. They should be glad you didn’t hit them with your broom. They should be even gladder Hu Tao wasn’t there to retaliate against them.

“That was a mean thing to do,” Yun Jin says, but the amused smile on her lips tells you otherwise.

You cross your arms. “They deserved it.”

She hums. “They did.”

✧

For your fourteenth birthday, you decide to spend it hunting for geoculus in order to gift them to the love of your life’s statues. Not a very fun activity, especially since it’s your birthday and the gift-giving should be the other way around, but you console yourself with the thought that you’ll have him gift you a pool full of mora in your wedding.

Besides, it’s not like you can throw a party. It’d be very disrespectful to Hu Tao’s grandfather who just passed away, and with your best friend off on a search to find Director Hu’s soul… well, your birthday now consists of you, a bunch of qingxin flowers you picked up on the way, and the three geoculus you managed to find.

Currently, you’re trying to find a way to reach the fourth geoculus without slipping down the mountainside, breaking all your bones, and consequently dying in the process. Why do these things only appear in dangerous and high places? Oh, and now it’s raining. Just your luck.

Life would be so much easier with a vision. Geo, to be exact. No other element would suffice. You might just die if you married the Geo Archon and had, say, a pyro vision instead of a geo vision. Especially since a geo vision would be exceptionally helpful in your predicament right now.

Still, you’ve come all the way up the mountain, a little probability of death won’t stop you. Well, it probably should, but you’re already taking a leap and reaching for the vine that’ll hopefully swing you into the geoculus’s way and into the other side of the narrow gorge. No going back now, not that you ever planned on doing so.

You cling to the vine with all your might while your other hand reaches for the geoculus.

It brushes the tips of your fingers—

The vine snaps.

✧

You wake up to the feeling of your head pounding, scrapes and bruises all over your body. No broken bones though. Thank Rex Lapis.

In your right hand is the geoculus you’d been reaching for. Huh. So falling down to your almost-death wasn’t a waste after all.

Something warm pulses in your left hand. Curious, you unclench your fingers.

Your world falls apart. Tears fall down your eyes in rivulets, sobbing as you curse Celestia and all the gods—except for Rex Lapis, of course—about how awful their sense of humor is. You look down at the accursed object in your hand with betrayal.

A pyro vision.

✧

Hu Tao returns from her self-appointed mission from the afterlife, takes one look at you, your dejected expression, and the pyro vision now hanging in shame by your hip, and she immediately understands.

She points to her own newly obtained pyro vision. “Hey, at least we match!”

✧

“Oh Rex Lapis, please accept this humble offering and exchange it for something more suitable… like, say, a geo vision?”

Nothing.

You continue kneeling in front of the statue with your pyro vision in hand, posing like a man about to offer his firstborn son to the gods in sacrifice.

A few seconds pass. Then a minute, then two, three. Five minutes pass.

You’ve been kneeling for ten whole minutes. Nothing has changed, your vision still glows red. Not even a sign to indicate that he heard your pleas, something like a pebble landing in your head. But alas, there is none.

You hear a snicker carried by the wind from your right. Snapping your head to the source of the sound, you find Xingqiu leaning against the trunk of a tree, a book in hand as he watches your ridiculous display. Sighing hopelessly, you stand up from your position and make your way towards him, storing your vision safely in your pocket ‘cause hey, a vision’s a vision, no matter how displeased you are with its element.

He opens his mouth, probably a greeting, but most likely a quip you’re currently not in the mood to be dealing with, so you speak before he has any chance to.

“Yes, I know, I looked ridiculous.”

He raises his eyebrows at your words. “That was not what I was about to say.”

You lean against the same tree, pushing all your weight into your shoulder. “Then what were you about to say?”

Xingqiu looks away. You follow his gaze and find him staring at the statue of the Geo Archon you’d just been kneeling to moments ago.

“You needn’t be so upset with your vision—”

You laugh. “Because a vision’s still a vision, a sign of recognition from the gods? Yeah, I know. Heard that many times already.”

A crease forms between his brows. “Again, you’ve assumed what I was about to say.” Then he sighs, his expression smoothening out. “No, what I meant to say is that geo or pyro, vision or no vision, it did not change your goal at all, did it?”

“I guess not,” you mutter.

“Then you need not worry, friend. Rex Lapis’s future affections for you won’t be changed by a mere vision.”

You nod, slowly getting invigorated. “Yeah, you’re right.” Then, you turn a cheeky smile to Xingqiu. “You know, for someone who’s younger than me, you sure are wise.”

“Only a year younger, which is barely much of a difference when compared to—”

“Okay, that’s enough! Just remembered that I need to go to the market today and buy some tea for the elders,” you say, pushing yourself up and rummaging your pockets for mora.

“Oh, let me help. It’s been a while since I last spoke to Pops Kai.”

Finding only a couple of mora, barely enough to buy a piece of bread, you agree. “Fine, but you’re paying, rich boy.”

✧

Alright, you’ll admit that maybe you were overreacting a little bit after you found out your vision was pyro instead of geo, but you’d like to blame that one on the raging concussion you probably had after taking a tumble down that deep gorge.

Anything else that happened after your concussion faded away is a result of deliriousness from eating too much of Xiangling’s strange dishes.

✧

On Hu Tao’s sixteenth birthday, the two of you sneak in a few quick sips of alcohol. Unfortunately for you, this leads to the discovery that you are extremely lightweight. Another unfortunate thing for you is that her birthday coincided with the Rite of Descension that year. The same Rite of Descension that you’ve been religiously attending each year ever since you were allowed to.

A little tipsiness won’t stop you from going to the Rite of Descension, or as you liked to call it, the yearly wooing of your future husband.

Hu Tao accompanies you to the Pavilion where it’s held. You wave enthusiastically to Keqing, who you’ve come to know during all those years. She waves back briefly, but then returns to doing all her busy Yuheng stuff.

You stop near the railing, facing Hu Tao with a serious, if slightly dazed, look. Placing both hands on her shoulders, you lean close. “This is the day I propose. Just watch.”

Her face takes on a gleeful turn. Clapping her hands, she gestures for you to line up on the queue of people awaiting their yearly dose of wisdom from the Lord of Geo. “I wish you all the best. Onwards, oh brave soldier of the heart!”

Significantly encouraged by her words, your slightly tipsy self made your way to the line, waiting patiently for your turn. When you finally reach the front, you pull out the large cor lapis you got lucky enough to win on the market the other day, and with a slightly intoxicated grin, you walk your way to the front.

Cor lapis in hand, you raise it in an offering motion and say quietly, because no one else needs to hear what you’re about to proclaim except you and the Geo Archon, “Rex Lapis, will you marry me?”

Unfortunately, due to the previously mentioned inebriated state, you didn’t quite manage to control the volume of your voice. Hu Tao’s laugh can be heard amidst the silence that ensues after your proposal.

Molten gold roots you in place. Rex Lapis’s eyes all-knowing and just a tiny bit intimidating when directed to your mortal self in full force. It’s hard to tell what he’s thinking of right now since you’re not exactly an expert at reading dragon expressions, so you stand and wait for a few moments for his reply.

However, due to Hu Tao’s laughter and your ridiculous exclamation, Lady Nigguang seems to think this is some elaborate joke. Really now, the lady should know you better. You remember once telling her your goal of marrying Rex Lapis and how she chuckled at you but never once called you strange for it.

Just before the Millelith can arrive to take you away and probably arrest you, Rex Lapis lets out a loud, hearty laugh.

It’s enough to startle everyone within hearing vicinity, including yourself.

“Hah… It has been many years since I felt such keen amusement,” his voice rumbles, carrying on over the crowd and forcing everyone to listen. “For that alone, child, I shall grant you this: return in a few years bearing that same question, and perhaps I shall answer differently.”

To anyone listening, it was obvious that this was just his way of rejecting your proposal and that he would not, in fact, change his mind even in a few years’ time.

To you, though, it meant the world.

Your smile could almost be enough to light up an entire room. “Okay! I’ll hold you to that!”

A woman somewhere behind you gasps at how casually you’re speaking to Rex Lapis, but the rumbling laughter that comes from him says enough. He doesn’t mind.

Cheerily skipping your way out of the sea of onlookers who have their eyes trained on you, you make your way to Hu Tao who’s been watching you with twinkling eyes. She claps your back with a grin, “Whaddya know, a little liquid courage was all it took to get you one step closer to your goal! I’d call this venture of ours a resounding success!”

✧

You wake up the next day with a pounding headache and clear memories of what transpired the day before.

You spend a good few minutes screaming into your pillow.

✧

They’re selling limited edition Rex Lapis figurines at the market today. To avoid the possibility of them getting sold out before you manage to get your hands on one, you’ve decided to camp out right in front of the shop since yesterday.

No one bothers you. After that little debacle at the last Rite of Descension, you’ve become known in Liyue Harbor as the girl who proposed to Rex Lapis. It garnered a few disapproving looks, especially from the old geezers, but unlike your childhood, quite a lot of people now find it funny instead of weird. It’s probably because of how Rex Lapis himself reacted in that situation.

Even the store owner is giving you amused looks as you lay on the cot you’ve set up beside his store since last night. But that was no matter, he was finally opening his shop. Looking around, you find a lot of people standing in the queue right behind you.

You stand up, grinning to yourself as you realized how much of a genius plan this is. You’re first in line.

Figurine in hand and a couple thousand mora broke, you would have missed the identity of the person behind you if you hadn’t recognized their voice. Turning around, you come face to face with none other than, “Keq—”

She quickly shuts you up by placing a hand over your mouth, her other hand holding a Rex Lapis figurine.

Oh Archons.

After dragging you to a less crowded alley, she finally lets you speak. An excited smile forms on your lips. “Keqing! I didn’t know you were a fan!”

“Not so loud!” She shushes you, then she places the figurine in a bag you didn’t notice before, hidden from the world. “And I’m not a fan. I think his views are a little outdated and Liyue could benefit more from a more modernized outlook. But… I do admire his achievements and all he’s done for Liyue.” She sees the knowing look on your face. “That doesn’t make me a fan, okay?”

“Sure, sure. Whatever you say.”

“And even if I was a fan—which I am most certainly not—I’m not like you who would propose to the Geo Archon in front of Liyue’s high profiles.” She places her hand on her hip. “Honestly, I’ve been meaning to ask, but what possessed you to do such an act?”

At the reminder of your mortifying display, a bit of heat creeps to your cheeks. Thankfully, the wear and tear of time has a way of lessening humiliation, especially when said humiliating act is the only thing you’ve been hearing about for the past few months.

“It may have been extremely embarrassing, but I have no regrets! You’ll see, Keqing, one day I’ll invite you to my wedding.”

She sighs at your hopeless delusions. “There’s no arguing with you, is there? Alright, invite me if you will, but I have somewhere to be right now.” You let her go easily. Turning to you one last time, she says, “And don’t tell anyone about this encounter, okay?”

“Gotcha!”

✧

At eighteen, you meet the first person apart from Rex Lapis who’s ever managed to make your heart skip a beat. (For now.)

“Hu Tao, who is that?” you whisper frantically to the newly appointed Director of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor.

“Hm?” She looks up from the papers in her hand and follows your line of sight. “Oh! That’s Mister Zhongli. He’s our newly hired consultant. Very knowledgable in history and very, and I mean very, rich. It’s like he creates mora out of thin air, that’s how rich he is.”

Tall, handsome, smart, older than you, and rich with earthy tones and amber eyes.

Oh no.

He was exactly your type.

Almost too exact, considering your type is, well, Rex Lapis himself.

Until today, you didn’t even realize you had a type until you found yourself faced with the handsome consultant—Zhongli, his name is Zhongli. For some reason or another, you think you’ve seen him somewhere before, but that idea was quickly shot down. There was just no way you’d ever forget seeing a person like him.

Another problem is that you never even knew you were capable of being attracted to anyone who isn’t Rex Lapis, Morax, the Geo Archon, or all of the above.

Hu Tao seems to have caught on to your internal dilemma.

She raises her arm. “Mister Zhongli, come over here for a sec!”

“What are you doing?!” you hiss at her, slapping her arm repeatedly before straightening once your new object of interest makes his way over. You try your best to inconspicuously rake your eyes over him. If Zhongli notices your attempt at checking him out, he thankfully doesn’t say anything.

“Yes, Director, did you need me for anything?” he says, and good lord, even his voice held that sort of richness to it that made you want to listen to him talk all day.

Hu Tao smiles that same smile you once likened to a shark, all teeth and ready to pounce at any hint of weakness, which in this case is your quickly developing probably-but-hopefully-not-a-crush on her new employee. “Nothing in particular. I just wanted to introduce you here to my friend.”

Her hand lands on the small of your back as she all but shoves you in front Zhongli. You manage not to stumble as you’re pushed forward, internally clenching your fist and thinking of ways to retaliate against your best friend slash the bane of your existence.

You have to crane your neck up just to meet his amused amber eyes, that’s how tall the guy is.

“Ah, I believe you are the Director’s dear friend? She has spoken to me in length about you.”

You find yourself uncharacteristically tongue-tied. “Y-Yeah.” You then manage to introduce yourself with minimum stuttering.

“Well met. My name is Zhongli, the new consultant at the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor.” He smiles, looking very regal and wise and infuriatingly handsome and—NO!

You have to stay loyal. Just because a pretty face appeared doesn’t mean you can cheat on your future husband… even if you’re not together yet so technically what you’re doing isn’t actually cheating.

Oh Rex Lapis, please forgive me for this severe case of adultery. I’ll accept any, ahem, punishment you’re willing to give. I promise I’ll bring you the best offering at next year’s Rite of Descension. And maybe you could, you know, finally give me an answer on my proposal—no pressure though!

Zhongli tilts his head ever so slightly like he just heard something funny.

In order to avoid committing anymore acts of cheating, you bid him a hasty goodbye. “It’s been nice meeting you, Mister Zhongli, but I just remembered I have a, uh, statue to clean up! Gotta go!”

You ignore Hu Tao’s knowing look following you as you quickly make your way out of the Funeral Parlor.

✧

“I heard you’ve finally moved on from Rex Lapis,” Xingqiu says in lieu of a greeting.

“I did not! And who told you that?”

He smiles. You’re not fooled by the slightest. That smile is a devil hidden behind the facade of an angel. “Why, our mutual friend Hu Tao did.”

✧

“You know, forcing yourself to clean up every statue of the Geo Archon isn’t going to make the crush you have on Mister Zhongli disappear,” Chongyun points out, watching you work away as you sweep dead leaves into a pile.

“How about you focus on that big fat crush you have on Xingqiu instead?”

He gasps, but your words do their trick in keeping him silent about your not-crush.

✧

Xiangling hands you a surprisingly normal dish when you next see her. “As a gift of celebration for getting your first crush, I made your favorite!”

“I don’t have a crush on Zhongli!”

She smiles. “Hehe, I didn’t say a name.”

You raise your hands in defeat. “Fine. Whatever. Free food is free food.” You take a seat on Wanmin restaurant’s stool and dig into your food.

Guoba pats your knee consolingly.

✧

It takes a good few weeks before you can stand to be in Zhongli’s presence without becoming a heart-palpitating mess. Another few weeks before you can have a proper conversation without thinking about how mesmerizing his eyes are and how nice his biceps look in his snug suit and how much you want to—

Enough!

After the initial awkwardness that is your first meeting, you find that you actually enjoy Zhongli’s company a lot. For one, he’s very knowledgable, has a good eye for scammers which led to your monthly dose of being scammed decreasing significantly. Two, he’s a gentleman. A true gentleman, not like Xingqiu who’d leave you waiting for hours at a meeting spot ‘cause he got too engrossed in reading his books. Zhongli’s the kind who offers you his coat when it’s cold and opens the door for you to enter first.

And lastly, he’s rich.

Hu Tao wasn’t lying at all, the guy is rich enough to be able to haggle the market sellers into selling their wares for a higher price then buy said highly priced wares. You once asked him why he’s working in a Funeral Parlor when it seems like he’s rich enough to have even his great-grandchildren live comfortable and wealthy lives.

His answer?

“I would like to experience working a normal job alongside the people.”

You didn’t have the heart to tell him that if he really wanted to do that, he should’ve chosen a job where he’d constantly be surrounded by living breathing people, not dead ones.

✧

You didn’t realize it then, but at the age of twenty, you meet the person you will one day be cheesily calling the love of your life.

A person is leaning against the statue of your beloved Archon, blood coating his body and smearing it on his surroundings.

The wounded stranger looks up, a guarded look in his eyes as he supports himself with a spear tipped with jade. Blood drips off a strand of his teal hair and he looks like he’s one step away from death’s door, but even then, there’s no mistaking he could still take you on in a fight and win. There’s brown spots here and there that indicate the blood has dried off, which means he’s probably been here for a while. Or maybe it’s bird poop, who knows.

You should probably help the guy, but you can do nothing but stare in horror at the bloody mess in front of you.

The stranger opens his mouth to speak, but you beat him to it.

“Damn it! Do you know how hard it is to keep that statue clean?! Go bleed out somewhere else!”

the adepti’s guide on how to not catch feelings for the strange mortal who has a massive crush on your pseudo-dad

step one: don’t go to the statue for healing, or you might just meet the aforementioned strange mortal

series masterlist

next step

word count: 4.7k

note: i’d like to clarify that reader is an orphan, which means everything you’ve done so far is indeed fatherless behavior. not much xiao since we’re just establishing your relationships with various characters for future purposes, but starting next chapter he’s gonna be having major appearances. send me an ask or comment if you wanna be added to the taglist! ^^

#genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #xiao x reader #genshin xiao x reader #fem reader #the adepti's guide

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unabashedly-so · 10 months

Text

🌹SDV Elliott HC 💃

Content warning: Americanized contexts ahead. 😅 Not pigeonholing SDV as American but I'm using Americanized regionalisms because that's the language I have to communicate I'm trying to portray. 🤷‍♀️

************

It takes a high heart level and a moderate intoxication level to bring it out, BUT Elliott has had years of ballroom dance under his belt.

I'm imagining a southern old-money style upbringing for him (subject to change) and he started being trained in different dances bc he was involved in whatever the male version of debutantes is.

he wasn't big into it at the time but yknow mommy issues he was a diligent well-mannered young man so he learned enough to pass by.

enter university and Prince Slut (freshman year) is finding all kinds of ways to get the tender physical touch and affection he craved as a child make friends and finds the uni's ballroom dance club

his foundation of skill and reputation make him insanely popular within the club so it becomes a genuinely healthy outlet for him.

he never takes it seriously in terms of competition; he's just there to have fun and make his partner shine but you KNOW he's flaunting and flexing along the way, like executing daring moves with his partner, showboating, getting so overly sultry with it, etc.

he gets so many numbers and so much ass whenever he goes out, it's upsetting.

anyway tl;dr he spends so much time on that and other social activities in college that he barely passes most of his classes and it's actually a huge regret of his but that's a whole 'nother post

he stops dancing after uni for the most part as he has to reprioritize his life

but that doesn't mean that he lets it go, oh no.

get enough drinks in this man and enough room to move and he's 10years younger ready to sweep anyone off their feet.

He'll trot with the foxes, swing from one coast to another, cha-cha real smooth, give him tequila and he'll give you salsa, etc etc

of fucking course he can waltz but like 1) ya Basic, and 2) dinner and a movie first (and let's make it Viennese, for the love of Yoba)

he'd much rather rumba or tango tbh but only with someone he really cares about. poor boy'll catch feelings quick rocking hips like that.

which like. alternate ending to the 6heart scene has him inviting you to dance with him to blow off some steam. nothing too stilted or sensual, just an easy swing or something so he can move and move you and maybe even give you a twirl if you're so inclined 😉

(at 8hearts and above he's twirling you, dipping you, and rocking you on his hips during wrap-ins 🥴🥴 you've also unlocked private rumba, tango, and waltzes with him, and boy is it getting humid in this seaside cabin 🥵🥵)

it does take getting him at least buzzed to bring it out, but he has no shame once it's out, so it's like an open secret in Pelican town that he'll show anyone who's a good sport a good time

EXCEPT.

(and this is a big one)

he's so fucking judgey about what music people choose to dance to.

full on Big Sassy Gay energy.

"oh you want to slow dance to [Ed Sheeran]? yeah I remember being in middle school too."

"*Thinking Out Loud playing* is this the wedding song where people teeter back and forth like two rickety sideways rocking chairs with room for Yoba in between because your grandma's watching for three straight minutes? ...no yeah it's fine. I mean to their credit it probably functions as their run through for the consummation later too so good for them I guess"

*I Won't Give Up playing* "if you need to dance to a song where someone else declares how you're So Definitely going to be together forever, I'm sorry but I give it two years tops." "Elliott, this was Haley and Alex's song." "I said what I said. Next."

"*dramatic sigh* just because you can mathematically fit a 5 step into a 4/4 doesn't mean you can or should turn any bubblegum pop song about casual sex into a tango. It's NOT about sensuality, it's about THE CONFLICT THEREIN."

just take him home at this point. 😅 no one understands what he's saying but they know it's probably insulting.

anyway fast forward to domestic bliss and he's regularly pulling you in to show you how happy you make him

he's definitely singing any lines he thinks fit you under his breath while he dances with you. He'll bring you in close and murmur them into your ear or kiss them into your neck if he's got bedroom thoughts. 🌹

#wow this got way out of hand and also intensely personal lmaoo #sdv #sdv Elliott #sdv headcanons #Stardew Valley #stardew elliott

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ontheoddoccasioniwritestuff · 3 months

Text

Star-crossed in the Crosshairs (John Price x Reader)

Chapter 9: I Don't Know If I Can Do It

Fic Summary: This mission is the pinnacle of your efforts for the past three years. Your whole team and yourself have worked countless hours, slaughtered hundreds, risked life and limb for scraps of intel, and now it all boiled down to pairing up with another taskforce to get this job done and dusted. An unexpected spanner in the works comes in the shape of your former best friend, now also a Captain and somehow resurrected from his KIA status, John Price.

You can’t afford to let feelings - old and new - get in the way of your purpose. No matter how much you’ve missed, wished for, loved him, and no matter how much he might feel the same.

Chapter 8 // Masterlist // AO3 Version // Gif Credit // Chapter 10

“Well done,” You said as you handed Chance two twenty pound notes and sent them on their way.

Čiernik neutralised and Shepherd’s fate in the wind, the debrief was long over. Both teams had waited for you and Price, but only Price would be joining them. Part of you wanted to hear the war stories from the 141, really catch up. Then your stomach flared up and your eyes threatened to steam up and you remembered how fragile you’d let yourself get over this calendar month.

Bronze - still conked out on meds - demanded that someone have his drink for him, so you weren’t the only one missing out. Tonight, you’d spend your time numbing your ribs and hidden away.

A naughty mood plagued your mind, a naughty and self-destructive mood that cranked open a trunk of memories concerning the good old days that Price might’ve brought up via his reappearance in his life. You groaned over being at a point in your life where your twenties were “the old days”.

That naughty mood consumed your thoughts with flashbacks you hadn’t considered for years, even since realising Price was alive. Routine for your training years was what was currently playing. Two pints into a night out, you and John used to arm wrestle – an excuse to hold his hand on your part as well as an excuse to display how much you’d been working out – over a sticky table and damp bevy napkins. If the place had a karaoke machine (like your first local did), you’d always sing “Losing My Religion” like you were trying to convince each other of your perspective. Not once did you look at the screen for the words. You would put it on the jukebox if there was no karaoke, create your own jam session that would result in a warning about getting barred.

First time John convinced you to sing with him, he had his hand on your shoulder and stared intensely at you with his forehead to yours as he sang matter-of-factly, if a little unclear due to the cider. You, on the other hand, giggled through each lyric at how overwhelmed by how his steadfast cornflower eyes held you on that stage, losing yourself in the final chorus and getting cut off by your colleague, dragged home by the collar of your shirt and insisting you weren’t that bad, John egging you on all the while.

Difficult emotions bubbled like the beer you used to drink, forming a cathartic yet strangled cry in your throat as you opened the door to your temporary room. You were too injured to wear yourself out with some exercise. That was your usual cure for avoiding uncomfortable thoughts, the energy expelled causing you to pass out without any struggle of tossing and turning – or of nightmares. Even though you were absent of any gear, or your weighted blanket back at your base, to ground you into a mattress, your ribs would’ve complained the entire night. So today you were forced to recognise that the cork on your anxiety was coming loose, and the presence of Price – paired with your lovestruck Sergeants – was the equivalent of shaking the bottle.

“Fuck,” you muttered to yourself with a hard sniff.

The expletive offered a mild release of emotion, staving off the crying for a little longer. Long enough to raid the medical wing for some more disposable ice packs, long enough to get caught red-handed and by none other than the main cause of your pain.

“You’re back early,” You remarked as if you weren’t using your shirt as a makeshift basket for icepacks.

Price pushed a hand through his hair, smoothing it out whilst stuffing his beanie into his coat pocket, “Had my fill. The boys were insisting it was because I was getting old.”

“You’re not old. ‘Cus if you are, then I am too, and I’m not old.”

“Course not,” Price said wryly. Then he gestured to your haul, “Need a hand?”

Already, he was approaching you and – against your better judgement – you let him scoop a couple out before you both headed back to your room.

Holding your nerve, you made an attempt to be blasé: “Don’t suppose you had a sing-song at the pub?”

“No. Haven’t since I lost my duet partner.”

You winced around the corner, hoping Price would take it in response to your injuries. He must’ve done, for he didn’t allow any silence to linger on his remark:

“Played a few sessions of Shithead to determine whose round it was. You got any other plans for tonight?”

You crushed and placed a pack onto your ribs whilst John opened your door, letting you in first as you replied, “Just lie in a pile of these.”

Price’s hum with approval was masked beneath the bed creak as you carefully placed yourself on the edge of it, your chin in your hand, whilst you awkwardly iced your back. Your eyes closed without considering the extra person in the room, yet you took note of the mattress waning beneath their weight and refused to be shocked by the calloused fingertips that touched over the condensation on your hand.

“Here,” Price said, his voice low in volume and tone.

Fingers slipping out of his gentle hold, you let Price take over holding the icepack against your side. His other hand squeezed your corresponding shoulder, thumbing out the knots on that side of your spine – and there were a lot of knots. Needless to say, you were not expecting this, nor were you expecting to crave this kind of treatment until you found yourself sitting up straighter, following Price’s hand whenever it adjusted its grip on your taut muscles.

Clearing your throat, you opened your eyes, “You always made fun of me for my spa days.”

“Well, I’ve matured now,” John said quietly, his thumb digging around the edge of your left shoulder blade, “Enough to understand the value of a back rub – maybe a good bath bomb too.”

Laughter that coughed and clogged up your throat erupted from you. A tear splashed between your spread legs, leaving a little mark on the thin rug. Another ran through the same track and slipped down your face faster. That laughter slipped into sniffles fairly quickly after that.

Price’s hands stilled, “Did I hurt you?”

You sniffed and shook your head. You massive liar.

Very easily, John could’ve just offered you a tissue from the box on the bedside table. Instead, he moved to kneel in front of you, and he went to cup your face. Tilting your head away, you pushed his hands down.Temptation was enticing you to rest your forehead against his for just a second, how it would heal all torment he’d caused you – inadvertently and otherwise. You knew this was beyond a slippery slope. It was a straight drop down a crevasse with the bottom masked by fog. Shaking your head, you looked to your bedside lamp instead of him.

Without forcing you to look at him, John spoke, “I know I’ve got no right to ask you. But I’m a selfish man.”

Stubborn, yes. Ruthless, agreed. Cold. At times. But you’d never describe Jonathan Price as selfish. Not until now, at least. You realised you were still holding his hands away, a light grip he could’ve escaped from easily but hadn’t. Your face crumpled on itself and more tears fell, your head knocking against John’s as he lowered himself to his knees between your own

“Even just a scrap of that time to apologise, properly – now I know you’ve said you’re okay with what happened, but I’m not-”

His hands curved around your wrists. There, his thumb traced over your wrist where your pulse jumped under your Viking helmet tattoo – the one he argued wasn’t accurate because it didn’t have horns.

That night you got it, he’d jeered with a beer in his hand, “I should know; it’s my damn call-sign!”

You had been so drunk on his company but so jilted by his accusation that you were prepared to cross the country with him there and then to retrieve your GCSE History certificate and wave it in his face as you declared that Vikings never actually had horns on their helmets. But then you would’ve lost your spot at the parlour, and you really liked that tattoo artist’s style so you had a juvenile John sat beside you, mumbling under his breath how wrong you were to wind him up.

Your brimming tears shocked you back to the present day, having ignored most of John’s apology in favour of reminiscing of when things felt easier.

You tuned in to the end of his speech: “I kept you in the dark and lost you. I’m sorry for that and the pain I’ve caused you. I don’t expect anything. But we’re on borrowed time already. I don’t wanna waste any more of it.”

At that, you snatched your wrists back, for his words had breathed new life into the anger you convinced yourself was dormant. “We could’ve had all the time in the world, but you left me! Why did you leave me? Don’t patronise me with the “I wanted to protect you” shit. Why didn’t you come back for me?”

And you broke down sobbing, gasping for breath as your head lolled in shame, your neck and gut rife with rile. You’d never felt so pathetic, weeping over him like this after saying it was all okay. Nothing was okay. You wanted all the years of your mourning back. You wanted them back and your John back too.

He was looking upon you with pain pinching in his brow, and his voice was as gentle as he could be: “Because I’d pick you over everything.”

“I wouldn’t ask you to leave for me!”

“You wouldn’t have to. You never did.”

God, you wanted Chance or Ghost to use you as a punching bag to block out this agony that wracked your entire body with the vines of grief. Worse still, John’s honesty struck worse than any condescending comment he could’ve conjured. It told you all you needed to know about him, and it asked you something new about yourself: if he asked you to leave team Banshee, would you? Your hesitance frightened you to your core, and you know it did the same to John and his commitment to the 141.

“I’m so sorry I took you for granted, that I never came back for you. I’ll spend my life and the next making it up to you. And at the moment all I can offer you is when our leave aligns, a flat by the Mersey, and a bottle of bourbon. But I’ll give you all I am, all of it.” John sealed his promise with a kiss to your forehead,“I’ll be behind whatever you want to do about this.”

The vines were wrapping around John now, constricting you two together, interlocking your bodies together until your anguished lips found his. He tasted like the mint he’d sucked on during his walk back to base.John’s stubbled chin grated as if your face wasn’t melting with tears, desperate to print onto him. Your irreverent fingers ploughed through his cropped hair, too short to hold onto. Teeth pressed uncomfortably together. You couldn’t picture any of the romantic whirlwinds you’d conjured on lonely nights in times gone by; your mind only allowed you to take in how you and John clawed at each other, as if a loose enough grip would lose him to you forever.

As your tears blurred your sights, the truth came clear in your mind. Through an exhale that tremoured like a needle on a gauge, you pushed away from him and heaved out, “I can’t take the trying to get on without you again, I can’t. I can’t go to your funeral again. Don’t make me.”

And how you begged him, when you knew he couldn’t guarantee you a damn thing.

John’s misty eyes clung to your form without breaking contact once as he swore, “I won’t.” He renewed the vow to every plea you made, each one a plate of glass placed around you two until you were surrounded by the fragile promises that would shatter as soon as one of you left the room.

He kissed you again, simple and sweet like nothing else in your lives. You finally touched him with those hands you’d killed with, cradling his jaws as your noses slanted together, chests levitating both your bodies up and down in asynchronous panting.

But even as you felt his touch prickle across your goose-pimpled skin, the rest of your truth pushed out of your mouth and into his:

“I wanted to forgive you, I really did. But I can’t.”

Your sobbing ceased the second you finished speaking, nothing but your wrecked breathing and tears left behind in the shock that you’d finally said it. In its wake, you were faced with John’s broken expression as he stared unmoving at you. His lips parted with a shuddering and short exhale. In that moment, you knew then that he thought you would forgive him. All you could respond with was a touch of your hand to his cheek in an offer of little comfort when you repeated yourself:

“I can’t.”

John’s eyes flickered but still did not blink, as if you would vanish the second he dared not to keep you in his sights. Nowhere in those eyes did you see him imploring you to change your mind. He simply reeled in the agony of reality crashing into dreams, splintering them beyond repair. You looked, really looked, past the youths you used to be. Borrowed time indeed, in your line of work, the flecks of grey in John’s beard and minute scars in his skin hinted at what remained of his life.

You decided to let yourself yearn for your history one more time.

“But can we…” You wiped your nose and sniffed, “Can we pretend, for the next few hours, that I have forgiven you?”

John swallowed and nodded. His eyes were wet, but he released nothing until you kissed him again, and you felt the first splash from where his cheek bumped yours, salt soaking together.

Trembling and keeping your lips to his, you removed John’s watch and touched over the nerve diagram, your not-so-matching tattoos. Your fingertips treaded along where his pulse ran on tracks through thick hairs and collected the sleeves as they went. Forming fists, you tugged at the bunched-up fabric, gently at first, then growing rapidly impatient, soon grappling with his shirt just as his tongue made an intrepid entrance in your mouth. An intrusive hand beside your injured ribs spun you around and into his lap, John now perched beside where you’d been, his shirt somewhere else. He was holding on tightly, and you were scratching his furred chest too harshly, the kiss clunky and incoherent.

Grief was forcing its way back up your throat, rejecting this attempt to compel reconciliation. Your last ditch effort to keep it at bay made you press your lips hard against hard down his neck until your broken cries were bleated against his collarbones.

John’s agitated chest kept you trapped with his arms warped around you. His trembling tongue whispered over and over “I’m sorry” beside your ear, his intentions clear but muddied by the impact of his words, stabbing you in your heart with every repetition.

Mustering enough energy to hold yourself together, you shut him up with your mouth on his, determined to make this easier for you both. Smoothing out his sticking-up hair did precious little to conjure the comfort you were seeking. Your face slid away from his in the rush of tears pouring down John’s face like rain on a car window. Resigned, you slumped against his chest, letting your breathing hiccup in your aching chest. John drew you back into his arms, applying an icepack to your side as he somehow manoeuvred you both under the blankets. At least he wasn’t apologising anymore.

You began phasing between light sleep and wake. Though you were roused from sleep by your ribs, each time the vines’ grip he held you in squeezed intermittently and kept you safe in a bubble whilst acting as if you weren’t in these impersonal quarters, maybe even in that apartment he mentioned. A few times, both of you were awake, having moved away to the far edges of the bed in your soporific turmoil. He returned to you every time and did just as you asked: pretended that this you could have each other like this, every night past the sunrise.

“John?”

“Hmm?”

“When I next wake up, I want you gone.”

Silence for a minute. And then:

“Ok.”

-------------------

AN: Black Viking was an access code for Captain Price, so I reworked it as a callsign for this fic - though it's more like "Viking" as the callsign.

Thank you for your patience with the uploads! Only two chapters more to go! Thank you also @bunnyreaper for being a Beta on this chapter <3

Tag-list: @mockerycrow and @algor-babe

#john price x reader #captain john price x reader #john price #john price fanfic #cod fanfic #cod x reader #mw2 fanfic #mw2 #my writing #series #r: gn

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otakubimbo · 3 months

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The Rabbit and the Wolf

Chapter 3

You’re just starting to get used to living back in the village. Spending time with your sister. Helping out all the teams. Even enjoying times with friends. All of your friends?

1 2

18+MDNI

You hadn’t even broken a sweat. Team 7 on the other hand laid out in front of you. Truthfully they did do a good job, they were just new to being ninjas and there’s always room for growth. They had decided to take you on one at a time and then all together. Kind of a stupid idea because it just tired them out but it was good to see what they had individually. Kakashi didn’t even intervene or give any suggestions, just sat under a tree reading his perv book. You squat down to Sakuras level.

“Also, just to let you know I’m only 25. I’m not old.” You state poking her in the forehead and she groans. Kakashi chuckles softly to himself. “But since y’all at least tried your best, I’ll treat y’all to ramen.” You grin and Naruto jumps up yelling his favorite catch phrase. You chuckle, he still had some energy left, looking back at Kakashi you stand.

“I’m not paying for you though, you didn’t do anything” you state helping Sakura up groaning. Once all the kids are up, you throw your arm over Sasukes shoulder leading them to ramen. Kakashi slowly drags behind y’all. You’re going on about what they all need to work on and if they actually pay attention and train hard they may be able to land a hit on you in about 20 years.

Your face is so bright as you speak, Kakashi can barley take his eyes off of you. He was already mesmerized watching you spare with his students. Spare is a strong word but the way you danced around them so gracefully, like a dance. The way you moved always impressed him, it told everything about your skill as a ninja. Strong. Gracefully. Deadly. With a sigh, he follows behind y’all until you pick a spot to eat. This situation was going to be complicated at best, a disaster for him at worst.

The next few weeks fly by as you sit into a routine. You go visit your sister, train with Team 7, home and repeat. The boys were showing great progress, Sakura was well….doing her best? EH she was still too busy trying to impress Sasuke in a way that he really didn’t care about but ya know that’s just how some girls were. You had met with all the other teams but the 5th really wanted you to stay with team 7 for whatever reason so you only helped with training with them on the occasion. Today was one of those occasions, you were with team 8. You and Kurenai were as close as one person could really be to you because one night y’all got too drunk and you told her all your business. You really need to work on your drinking habits.

You did enjoy her team though, you really liked Hinata. She was shy and self conscious but you saw the potential, you could see it in the way that she moved. A diamond in the ruff. You and Kurenai were casually talking as her team was trying to find the scroll that you hid somewhere in the village. You actually didn’t hide anything and were wondering how long it would take for them to figure out. The most important part about being a ninja is using your head.

“So have you and Kakashi actually talked about anything other than work yet?” Kurenai asks and you groan pulling a cigarette out of your pocket and light it.

“No, and I would actually like to keep it that way. There’s literally nothing to talk about. We definitely aren’t friends anymore, just coworkers.” You relent taking a drag.

“You don’t miss him?” She questioned with an eyebrow raised which makes you grown again and roll your eyes.

“Shit, probably but that was all ruined ages ago. I ruined it and he ruined it.” You plopped yourself down under a tree. She just sighs at you with her hand on her hip. For some reason, she thinks if y’all actually just talked to each other like normal people everything would just fix itself. Impossible. If it wasn’t for your sister and the joy you were getting from helping the teams out, you would have half the mind to bury yourself back into work and never speak to him again. Even though, y’all only talked about training it still felt like old times and you hated it. You did miss him. You missed him since the day you couldn’t find him after y’all’s night together. Not even in a sexual or romantic sense, you missed you friend.

“Y/N’ Kurenai states taking you out of your thoughts, you look up at her. “It’s literally been two years, just give it a chance. We are all having drinks tonight, come.”

You were about to speak when Shino approaches, obviously realizing your trick. After congratulating him for being the first one to figure it out, y’all wait for the other two. Of course it took Kiba the longest and you almost thought you would have to go find him.

At this point, you had hoped Kurenai would have dropped the situation but she didn’t. Once her team was dismissed she stopped you before you could leave.

“You’re coming.” She says, not a question but a statement. You sigh and relent.

“Fine” You say waving her off, you agreed on seeing her tonight. Of course you wanted to go out with her, she was your friend but you spending time with Kakashi outside of training wasn’t anything you truly wanted to do. It’s not like you’ve never had casual conversations with people you’ve slept with before but obviously this was different. You were inside your own head the whole way home even while trying to get ready for the night. It’s not like you were anxious, well you were a little anxious. You’ve been in near death situations and this is what you’re anxious about. You’ve killed people and this is what you’re anxious about?!?! Before you leave you grab a bottle of sake you had and took a swig.

Once you arrive at the bar the only ones who are there are Kurenai and Asuma. Good. You can have a few drinks and maybe even a smoke before having to deal with the absurd awkwardness that was to be this night. Kurenai was happy but surprised to see you. She just knew you weren’t actually going to show up, but if you were going to not only be in the village for a while but you work closely with him again so it’ll be in everyone’s best interest to just be friends again. That was your plan at least.

You were really enjoying yourself, you really needed this time. It was so nice to actually be able to relax for once without the looming thought of having to go on another mission soon. You did need a smoke though and as you go to light your cigarette, your lighter is dead.

“Asuma, help me out” You state leaning towards him with the cigarette in your mouth. As he goes to light it for you is when Kakashi and Guy show up. You slowly pull back with your now lit cig.

“Hmmn, didn’t know you smoked.” Kakashi states sitting across from you.

“Yeah, Asuma got me in the habit. He’s a terrible influence.” You say taking a long drag. Asuma chuckles and Guy slaps in on the back with a loud laugh. That cut the awkward tension a bit and then the drinks started flowing. Well the drinks were flowing for everyone but Kakashi, he wasn’t drinking that much, he wasn’t drinking at all actually.

“Kakashi! MY FRIEND! Why are you not joining us in the drinks!” Guy exclaims, loud as ever. You pound back a shot and look at him. He glanced at you but quickly looked away.

“Just here for the company.” He shrugs sitting back.

“But you were just saying how you needed a drink tonight!” Guy still yelling and you could feel the glare Kakashi was giving him which almost made you choke on your drink with laugher. Only you and Kurenai seemed amused.

After a few more drinks and some fun conversation, you knew you were done. Everything was kind of spinning and you probably had a few too many shots, tomorrow was going to be hell. Oh well, you had a good night and it wasn’t even too awkward with Kakashi. Yall laughed at the same jokes and you even gave him a smile or two. Mostly due to the liquor but it almost felt like hold times.

“Okay. Okay. It’s time for me to go.” You confess going to stand up and almost falling over yourself.

“Kakashi! Walk her home since you’re sober.” Asuma suggests and you shoot him a wide eyed look and then an immediate glare to Kurenai. Now why was she telling her man your business.

“Oh no, it’s fine. It’s fine. I got it. Yup.” You say even though you stumble a bit but get your feet perfectly planted under yourself. Kakashi stands up anyways.

“I got it, I know the way” He says placing his hand on your shoulder to guide you out and you just let him. There was no use in making a scene because that would just make the situation even more awkward.

He’s walking with his hands in his pockets, slightly in front of you as if he was guiding the way.

“Thanks for walking me home.” Your voice barely audible, if it wasn’t for it being silent there was no way he would have heard you.

“It’s not a new thing” He says casually. Yeah he said that but it surely felt like a new thing. It wasn’t like old times. Yall walk in silence until you get to your house. As always after drinking, you fumble with your eyes. Sighing, Kakashi takes them and opens the door for you and you mumble a thanks. Before going inside you turn back to him.

“Uhm Kashi.” You softly say, the nickname feeling so familiar to him. He looks at you questioning and takes a step forward.

“Can we go back to being friends again? I don’t want things to be awkward between us anymore and….” You say, taking a pause but feeling the liquid courage hitting you “ I do miss you.”

“Friends.” He says and the way he said it confused you. You take a step forward and look up at him.

“Yeah. Friends” you state even though it felt like you could barely breath. Your eyes a little hazy and watery from having too much to drink. He looked down at you for a moment and you couldn’t tell what he was thinking. Maybe he was just fine with being casual coworkers. But then he pulled his headband up and mask down. Now you were even more confused, you searched his face for any hint of what would be going on in his mind.

“Friends” He said again, a little different this time. Breathy. Slowly, you nod your head. You had no clue what was going on and it seemed as if he was also looking for answers. It was like he was waiting for something or contemplating something.

When it didn’t look like he found what he was looking for, he responded “ Friends, okay. We can be friends” and pulls his mask back up.

You just nod and he takes a step back. You blink a few times.

“Drink some water and go to bed. Goodnight” He plainly says turning away and leaving you in your door way.

This was good, yeah? Yeah. Friends. Good. Yeah.

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jungk0oksthighs · 2 years

Text

Over The Odds | Slow Down

Pairing - jungkook x reader

Genre - smut, angst, fluff, S2L, ceo!jungkook, sugardaddy!jungkook

Word count - 4k

Drabble 13 - Jungkook tells you to slow down - jk pov

warnings: oc has an unofficial anxiety attack / emotional breakdown, swearing, oral sex (m receiving)

FULL SERIES COLLECTION

Jungkook stands back to admire his creation, or rather the local tipi party company’s creation. He’s hired a white tent adorned with twinkling fairy lights for the weekend, it’s in the centre of his living space and almost fills the entire room. Admittedly he’s overdone it, he knows he has, this is a tipi that most people have small to medium sized parties in – but his plans are entirely different.

The company he used were nice enough to move a double bed from a guest bedroom into the tent, along with a sixty inch smart television he may or may not have bought just for the occasion. It’s intimate in here, dimly lit and romantic which exactly the vibe he wanted. He’s proud of himself, snapping a few pictures to send to Taehyung.

Amongst the bed and television Jungkook’s also made sure there’s a small table inside, a place for the champagne bucket and snacks to sit while you spend some much needed quality time together. Things have been stressful at work, the fallout of the video leak is still very much affecting his business – as is the ongoing investigation. This weekend is a reset for him, it’s the first time you’ve stayed over since you made up and he wants to make it special. Hence the tipi.

Taehyung: Looks good! Try not to break it when you’re fucking

Jungkook’s shoulders bounce as he reads the message from his best friend, though he doesn’t have the energy to reply. Truthfully he hasn’t slept with you since the video was leaked, not because he doesn’t want to, but rather he gets the impression that you don’t want to. He’s gnawing his lower lip anxiously, maybe the tipi is too far? He doesn’t want you to think that he’s created a romantic setting only to boost his chances of getting laid. Of course he’s not going to deny it if the opportunity arises but he doesn’t want you to feel forced into it by any means.

The four week period where he didn’t hear from you was one of the must gut-wrenching, lonely experiences he’s ever been through. It goes without saying that he understands you needed space, and he forgives you for acting like a… for lack of a better word, brat. This weekend to him is about reconnecting with you, putting life on pause for two days and enjoying your company. He’s never had a girlfriend before you, not a real one, so he had no idea he was such a hopeless romantic until he found himself renting a huge fabric tent made for weddings, only to put it in his lounge just for you.

He wanted to surprise you with this set up yesterday but you cancelled on having dinner with him, you didn’t give him a reason and said you’d explain today in person. It’s nearing six pm, the time you’re supposed to be arriving when he receives another text from his attorney and best friend.

Taehyung: ??? I thought you guys were okay now

Taehyung: Link to article

Curiosity gets the better of him and he finds himself opening the link, immediately regretting that decision. ‘Y/N spotted leaving local doctor’s apartment, rumour has it he’s an old flame of the renowned sugar baby, does this mean her whirlwind romance with billionaire Jungkook Jeon is officially over?’ He tongues his cheek, frowning. Why the fuck were you in Namjoon’s—

“Hey, sorry I know I’m a little early,” The elevator ding catches him off guard, as does your voice, “Oh my god Jungkook… What’s all this?” You’re looking at the setup he’s rented in awe, your smile equally as beautiful and romantic as the tipi.

“Hey,” He turns to face you, you’re wearing a beige oversized loungewear set with white trainers to which he chuckles, he’d told you to dress comfily for what he had planned and he’s grateful that for once you’d actually listened. “Do you like it?”

“Like it?!” You’re beaming as you make your way over to him, kicking off your shoes, “It’s amazing! What’s all this for?”

An internal battle ensues. To mention Namjoon, to not mention Namjoon. What will be?

“So…” Much to the disappointment of his better judgment, he ignores your question and goes for the latter, “You went to Namjoon’s yesterday?”

He watches you tense up, your features look as though you knew this would happen sooner or later, “I was going to tell you.”

“But you didn’t.” His brows are raised. He trusts you, he trusts you, he trusts you, he tells himself over and over again until the words don’t sound real anymore, “Why were you with him?”

“I-,” You sigh, you look exhausted, “We had coffee together, I promise nothing happened. We had a huge fight and basically I’m never going to speak to him again.” You slump yourself down on the sofa, earning him to follow suit and sit next to you. So much for the romantic tipi.

“You couldn’t have gone to a Starbucks?” Jungkook’s trying his absolute best to not sound like the jealous boyfriend right now, even though that’s exactly what he is. He cracks his neck, suddenly feeling very tense. "Why were you in his apartment?"

“He said he saw paparazzi at the coffee place we were going to go to, and invited me to his place instead. It doesn’t even matter he’s an asshole, I promise you I’m done trying to be nice to him. What are we doing tonight?”

To this Jungkook clicks his tongue, cocking his head to one side – sounds like your ex-boyfriend made up some bullshit excuse about why you couldn’t meet up publicly just so he could lure you back to his apartment. There it is again, the familiar pang of jealousy with a hint of…insecurity?

“Did he upset you? Why was he an asshole?” He’s struggling to find a reason why you’d agree to meet up with him in the first place, he feels nauseous, is this why you cancelled on him last night? His thoughts are intrusive, any logical thinking suddenly becomes background noise in his brain.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” You look away from him, he knows you feel guilty but he can’t figure out why if nothing really did happen, “I found out that he’s seeing Jennie though, Jimin saw them both near my old apartment the other day. Weird right?”

“Sorry,” Jungkook laughs humourlessly as he pushes his hair back with inked fingers, “Can we just… Rewind a second, slow down.” He exhales, “Why did you meet up with him in the first place?”

As much as he’ll never admit it he’s jealous, he can’t stand the idea of you and Namjoon being alone together. You may have his trust but the doctor definitely does not. He watches you cross your legs on the sofa and recognises the discomfort on your pretty features, you’re mindlessly tapping your manicured fingernails together, something you do when you get nervous.

“He called me a few times so I called him back, he wanted to know how I was and grab a coffee. I said yes that’s fine as friends, but then we had this huge argument and I honestly never want to see him again.”

“What did he say to you? Did he try something?” Anger boils Jungkook's blood, why the fuck would you go there alone where he can't protect you.

“Can we…not do this right now please? We argued, that's all.” Your eyes are shiny, he can tell you’re stressed out and tired, “I know, I should’ve told you… I just didn’t want to upset you. And then when I was going to tell you my sister showed up out of nowhere and dragged me to my parents’ house—”

“Y/N are you okay?” Jungkook’s chest tightens at the sight of a tear rolling down your cheeks, it’s all happened so fast that he doesn’t understand why you’re crying, nor can he make sense of everything you’re saying because you’re talking so fast.

“—Which reminds me.” You’re covering your face, gripping the hairs at your scalp, he’s never seen you this freaked out over anything before, “Why didn’t you tell me you hired my sister?”

“Have I?”

“Ugh,” You groan, messily wiping your face, “And then my dad wouldn’t stop talking about how proud of her he is for moving back into their place. Can you believe that? I’m living on the left side of my best friend’s bed because I was too ashamed to ask them for help, but my big sister lands a job at your company and they’re more than happy to have her stay with them even though she’s literally the worst human alive and will be earning more money than them. Do you know what she said to me yesterday? Ugh she’s fucking unbel—”

“Y/N slow down, what’s going on?”

“—And now I’ve upset you by meeting Joon when the only reason I agreed to meet him was because Jimin had this crazy conspiracy theory that turned out to be not so crazy because Namjoon and Jennie actually are together—”

“Y/N slow down.” Jungkook tries again, but he can’t get a word in edgeways. You’re rambling so much that he can only make out the occasional word here and there. He feels guilty, even a little disappointed in himself for failing to notice you had so much going on in your life right now. You’re overwhelmed, you’re stressed, you’re still crying. He feels so bad that he had no idea about any of this.

“God I’m so sorry.” Your apology is shaky, as are your cold hands when Kook manages to grip them gently, swallowing them in his own. All this time he’s been prioritising the investigation, when really he should’ve been prioritising you and making sure you’re okay. Which you clearly aren’t.

“Come here.” He whispers, tugging your arms until you’re straddling his thick thighs, your face buried into the crook of his neck as he soothingly rubs the spans of your back, “Shh, slow down baby.”

“I’m just so overwhelmed with everything right now.” You finally break down into floods of sadness with your face buried into his shoulder, everything hitting you all at once, “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologise for feeling the way you’re feeling,” He plants a sweet kiss to the side of your head, taking in the scent of your shampoo to stop himself from getting emotional, “I’m the one who’s sorry, I didn’t realise how stressed out you are.”

And so he lets you cry on his shoulder, he knows you’re not typically an open or teary person so the fact you’re borderline hyperventilating against him causes him concern. He doesn’t want to add himself to the long list of things that have upset you recently, so he sits there for over an hour, listening to your every word as you explain to him slowly, what’s been happening in your life.

“No wonder you’re stressed out, not that you need my permission to do anything but… Next time can you at least let me know when you’re planning to go to your exes house?” He feels bad making this even slightly about him, “So I can talk you out of it and remind you how much of a prick he is.”

“No need.” You chuckle, your breath warm against his neck, “I thought we could be friends but as soon as he said he’d seen the video I…”

“Y/N...” Jungkook sighs with closed eyes, squeezing your middle. You’re still sat on him and he can only imagine how violated you feel knowing that your ex, and presumably his ex too since they’re apparently an item, have watched the now famous footage. “Thank you for explaining it to me, and just so you know I'm not mad at you. Come on, let's go.”

“Pardon? Go where?” You pull back to look at him, his heart aches seeing you this upset, the very least he can do is try to cheer you up and take your mind off everything that’s wrong in the world.

He picks you up effortlessly, smiling contently at the surprised giggle that leaves you as he carries you over to the tipi, laying you down on the double bed that waits inside. The party company really outdid themselves, it’s quiet and intimate in here, everything he’s certain you need right now. It’s calm and secluded, romantic and memorable. You’re looking at him through damp eyelashes as he lays down beside you, handing you the tv remote.

“I left my assistant in charge of hiring the new team,” He watches you with loving eyes as you struggle to find something you haven’t already seen on Netflix, “I can fire her if you want.”

“If only.” For the first time since setting foot in his apartment you laugh, a real genuine laugh, so Jungkook rolls with it when he scoots his body closer to yours until eventually you’re cuddling into his chest.

“I’m serious, I won’t even tell her why I’ll just shout ‘you’re fired!’ and point at her, on her first day too…she’ll never see it coming.” He’s smiling, running his slender fingers through your hair.

“You’re not Alan Sugar.” Your body is bouncing lightly at your own joke, eyes still glued to the Netflix selection.

“No, I’m better looking.”

“Hmm, debatable. I’m quite partial to a silver fox you know.”

He playfully tugs your hair, unable to stop himself from grinning, he’s missed you and your attitude so fucking much. “Shall I dye my hair? Or bleach it, whatever it's called.”

“You wouldn’t.” You peer up at him curiously.

“Are you doubting my integrity?” He quirks a brow, he’s happy to see that you’ve finally relaxed now that the weight of your own world has been lifted from your shoulders, he'll always be here for you at the end of a bad day. And he promises to himself to make a point of checking in on you more often. “Don’t tempt me I’ll really do it. Would you prefer silver or bright blue? Red maybe? What about pink, you like pink right?”

“Please don’t dye your hair.” You chuckle with an eye roll, “I like it the way it is.”

“Did you just give me a compliment?” He widens his eyes, feigning shock, “Holy shit, I’m flattered.”

“You should be.”

You peel your gaze from his back to the tv, his grip subconsciously tightens round you as he speaks his own truth, “I’ve really missed this baby.”

“Me too.” You hum against him, nuzzling your head into his hard chest, “Like a lot.”

“Come here.” His voice is lower than he intended, but you oblige all the same, crawling up the bed until you’re straddling his hips looking down at him with an unreadable expression.

Jungkook snakes his hands to the nape of your neck, pulling your face down to meet his in a soft open-mouthed kiss. Your lips taste like peaches, as they usually do, he figures it must be a specific lip balm you use that gives them such an addictive flavour but he’s never asked just in case you think he’s strange. Your hands are tugging the hairs on his head as he deepens the kiss into something more, slipping his tongue into your mouth with a quiet grunt.

Blood rushes to his cock the second you roll your hips against his, he was already getting hard from kissing you but now he’s ready to burst, feverishly kissing you with such desperation, messily, as though it’ll be the last time. He loves making out with you, your body feels so good against his, every time he kisses you he feels a pang of heat in his pelvis, his balls tingling with impatience. He’s waiting for a sign that you’re uncomfortable, but so far everything seems as it always was, and so he grips your waist, pulling your core down to meet his.

“Fuck…” He murmurs against your lips, feeling them tug up into a mischievous smile. Do you want this? Is he overstepping? He barely has time to catch his racing thoughts before you pull away, shuffling down the bed until your face is level with the growing bulge in his sweat pants.

“Take these off.” You order with a bossy smirk.

“We don’t have to baby.” He reassures you with a husky voice, somewhat out of breath from kissing you. Soon he's swallowing at the sight of you tying your hair into ponytail with a hair band you seemingly pulled from nowhere. Fuck, you’re gorgeous. “Really it’s okay.”

“Stop talking and take them off.”

He chuckles to himself, throwing his head back in defeat, you’re such a fucking brat, “You sure?” It’s no secret that you haven’t been intimate with each other in a while, the last thing he wants to do is make you uncomfortable.

To this you roll your eyes and drag his pants down for him, his hard cock springing free immediately as he’d apparently forgot to put boxers on after showering. He swallows again, awestricken as you spit into the palm of your hand and begin to slowly pump his length. For a moment Jungkook forgets how to breathe, he’d almost forgotten how good you are at this. He laces his fingers together, resting his hands behind his head as he watches you with furrowed brows, face folded with pleasure.

When you deem his cock wet enough he stares at you take him into your mouth, all of him, until the end of it hits the back of your throat. He groans, his eyes fluttering shut for a second when you swallow around him. He’s so concentrated on the feeling of your sucking that he doesn’t even register you pulling his black t shirt up to reveal his toned abdomen, your nails lightly scratching his stomach.

You’re hollowing your cheeks, slowly moving your head up and down his shaft, pressing your tongue to the underside. It feels fucking amazing, the inside of your mouth is so tight and warm as you suck. You take him to the back of your throat every time, you’re so good at this that he feels like he’s already close to coming. He zones in on your face, the way you’re looking at him with nothing but lust is sending him crazy.

“Baby…” He moans, his head lolls back for a second when you swallow around him again, “Fuck, you’re amazing.” He’s breathing heavier now, chest rising and falling in sync with the speed of your ministrations.

It’s when your fingertips start tracing intricate patterns on his full balls that a guttural moan tears from his throat, his muscular thighs tensing from the new mind-blowing sensation. “Oh baby…” He mewls, tucking his bottom lip between his teeth to suppress the long list of things he wants to moan right now.

You speed up as the salty taste of precum stains your tongue, implying he’s close, you’re shamelessly moaning around his length to get a reaction – and a reaction you get. Jungkook’s jaw drops, his hooded eyes are dark and blown out with desire while he stares down at you, brows knitted with pleasure. Your mouth feels unworldly as it squeezes his cock, so wet and needy as you suck even harder.

He watches you take him to the very back of your throat, until your eyes turn shiny, once, twice, three times, four, five, six times until a white hot heat threatens to snap inside him, “Y/N I’m gonna come, slow down, you’re gonna make me come,” He pants, “Don’t stop…baby oh-” He focusses on the feeling, on the way you lick and slurp every inch of him, all while playing with his balls until a hot spurt of come shoots to the back of your throat.

“Fuck!” He kicks his head back, hands now covering his face as the rhythmic shoots of come are lost to your swallows, enjoying the post-orgasm bliss. His knees buckle and legs twitch when you continue to suck him softly, cleaning up every last drop of his come, “Y/N… Fuck.” He sighs, chuckling to himself when you release him from your mouth, peppering his tip with tiny kisses before you sit up on the bed.

“Lay down and spread ‘em.” He manages to say between shallow breaths with a wicked smirk, planning to eat you out just as good.

“Not tonight,” You offer him a weak smile and he knows somethings wrong, normally you would’ve laughed at something like that, or at least given him a witty retort. “Do you have anything to drink?”

He’s frowning, “But what about you—”

“Do you have any champagne in? I fancy a drink.” You’re not even looking at him now.

“Uh-, yeah I do actually… Are you okay?” He finds his discarded sweatpants and puts them on as he stands up from the bed, turning back to face you with concerned eyes, “You didn’t have to do that if you didn’t want to.”

“I wanted to.” You nod, trying to reassure him, “I’m just not in the mood for anything else tonight that’s all, I have period cramps.”

“Oh,” While that seems reasonable enough Jungkook knows that you’re not due on your period for a couple of weeks yet, or at least he’s ninety percent sure you’re not anyway, “Do you need any pain killers?”

“No I’ll be okay, I’ll ride it out. Can I have a drink though? My breath smells like your babies.”

At this a puff of air escapes his nose before he scrunches it was a small grimace mixed with a giggle, somewhat relieved that you’re acting like your usual bratty self, “Yeah hold on.”

When he returns with the champagne on ice he smiles upon seeing you tucked up under the covers, completely focussed on whatever film he hadn’t been paying attention to, your eyes are wide as the suspenseful music comes to a loud bang. You jump, as does his heart.

Fuck. He’s missed this so much, he’s missed you.

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