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apparentlyaswarmofbees · 3 years

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Hi!!! I want to say I'm OBSESSED with your writing~ its so detailed and English isn't my first language but I really wish I could be as good writer like you someday! I was wondering if I could request the obey me brothers reactions to mc being the only one other than lucifer who is cerberus favorite? I have a theory that since they are descendent of lilith and cerberus is meant to gaurd liliths tomb, cerberus might take a liking to lovely mc too!! Thank you! I'm sorry if its hard to understand..

Ehehe~ ♡♡ my first lenguage is not english either so I am really glad you like my writting! I can't say I am in any way close to a professional writer but it still feels nice to be looked up upon! Don't give up!

Note: in my mind cerberus is basically the same size as Sadaharu from Gintama

Just a bit bigger

Also I headcanon their breed to be of a Molossian dog after someone interpreted cerberus to have such appearence seeing that the breed was the most used as a guard dog in greece at the time. Also used as a war dog by our dear Alexander The Great ™

Anyways!

I changed this to a mini fic format because it felt better this way.

Puppy Love - a Lucifer being a Simp Mini Fic

The older brother snapped himself out of his concentration as he felt a very familiar vibration inside his pants' pocket.

He had changed the pattern of the vibration for each important chatroom he was in so he could know beforehand what level of headache to expect.

And seeing he reconized this repetitive vibration on his leg as the one he shared with all his brothers and the human, he was already pondering if he should actually pretend he didn't even notice it in the first place.

No, who knows what on all realms they would get or have already gottem themselves into. He decided with an already exaspherated sigh an a small twinge of worry as he unpocketed his D.D.D.

He doesn't know if he should file what was happening as expected or not.

'Yo guys, check this out!'

-Image sent-

That was Leviathan.

And in the picture was a very familiar hellhound smiling at the camera as two other familiar figures of the human and a certain Avatar of Lust sat themselves comfortably on Ceberus' back.

When had they gone out??

'Srsly, how the hell did they manage to tame that thing???'

'Everytime I get close to him he growls at me!'

'That's your own fault for being a pain in the ass Mammon.'

-thunder emoji sent-

'Also, didn't Beel also go with you guys?'

'I was half asleep but I'm pretty sure he told me he was leaving. I think.'

'Oh, he went to buys us food. At least I hope he doesn't eat it all before coming back.'

Lucifer stared at the unfolding conversation, opening and closing the image several times.

'What on earth...?'

Was all he could type in.

He remembers that at some point in the past he was worried about you getting along with the hellhound, he planned very throughly to have them be an extra layer of protection in case needed. Making sure to force you to take Cerberus on a walk to have them get used to your scent.

Of course it never showed to be necessary as Mammon had already kept enough watch over you, too much even.

The hellhound was pretty indiferent to you throughout your entire first year, but then the moment you stepped in the Devildom for the second time, it was like Cerberus was your own pet all allong.

More often than not he would catch you already in the tombs giving the mythological man eater hellhound belly rubs while blowing kisses. And he wasn't even going to start with the fact Cerberus was obviously enjoying the attention.

And he was not going to get into the fact that the sight of Cerberus' ears perking up whenever your name was mentioned the same way they did whenever Lucifer's name was mentioned (specially out of your lips) made his heart go extremelly soft, nope.

'Would you look at that Lucifer.'

'It seems your dog has a soft spot for our fellow human.'

'I wonder why huh?'

Lucifer squinted at Satan's messages on his D.D.D.'s screen as his fingers pressed on the typing space, tapping into a recently used emoji.

-frowning emoji sent-

-whistling emoji sent-

This ittle shit. He thought.

'Sataaaaan'

'You're missing the fun! Cerberus' fur is so soft!'

The older brother scoffed at Asmo's texts.

'Of course it is, I make sure to keep them groomed and clean.'

'If only they were a cat...'

'LOL cat Cerberus LOLOLOL'

'Kitty Cerberus LOLOLOL'

He felt his eyebrows dig even lower on his forehead.

'Maybe I should get someone to temporarelly turn Cerberus into a Quimera.'

'Then we will see if you can still call them 'Kitty', Mammon.'

'Stop singlin' me out, damn!'

At this point Lucifer could already feel a smile forming on his lips.

He would be dammed if anyone knew how much fun he actually has while teasing his fellow second oldest.

-image sent-

'Look at Levi! Ahaha!'

The image was sent by Asmodeus. Apparently he just switched places with Leviathan on Cerberus back.

Only this time he was in front of the human and not behind them like Asmo, covering half of their face and most likely their smile as he could see the squint on the corners of their shining eyes.

He's blocking the view. The oldest tsk'ed.

'Oi! Why is he sittin' on the front?!'

Him and the second oldest could agree on certain things sometimes.

'He jumped out LOL'

-image sent-

-laughing emoji sent-

'He had one job...'

Lucifer covered his mouth with a hand and cleaned his throat to hide the fact that he almost laughed.

Why was he hiding it anyways, he was alone in his office?? He sighed.

'Ah! Beel is back!'

'And he didn't eat everything yay!'

'I found some dog snacks on the way too.'

Lucifer sighed again, this time more fondly, he surely hoped they weren't spoiling the hellhound too much.

His phone vibrated again.

Another message came in, only this time in private.

He perked.

It was you.

'Lucifer, I'm going to steal your dog.'

He did not expect that.

But he would be dammed if he let his surprise show.

'Oh really? Seeing how much they like you, I don't think you need to steal them.'

'They would gladly go with you if you call out to them.'

He did not know how to feel by the fact that what he just wrote could actually be right.

'Would you go with me if I called?'

His eyes widened for a second.

Would he? He smiled.

'Of course.'

Yes, yes he would.

#have Lucifer being a Loser #obey me #obey me!#obey me! shall we date?#obey me shall we date #obey me lucifer #obey me mini fic #obey me cerberus #obey me imagines

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fallofthehouseofglittter · 3 years

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THIS IS GONNA BE A RANT AND I'M ON MOBILE SO NO READMORE FOR Y'ALL, YE HAVE BEEN WARNED

We managed to go on a week long vacation with my gf's parents (in the house that belonged to her great-grandpa who won it on a game of cards, but that's another story) but god, at what cost

Our cat couldn't come with us on the grounds of my gf's mom being severely allergic, so we were waiting for The Roommate to come back so she could watch over her (and her own cat too), but after two weeks (of a supposedly ONE WEEK TRIP) she finally told us that she was only coming back TWO DAYS AFTER my gf's parents were supposed to be back so no fucking vacation for us I guess?

We wanted at least to spend a weekend away from this house that has been in the middle of a moving since GODDAMN MARCH full of boxes and trash everywhere, so we had everything set up for gf's uncle to come over and feed the cats for two days. Once we finally got to the vacation spot, The Roommate calls us to say that she got someone to watch the cats.

Time to drive ALL THE WAY BACK to relieve the aforementioned uncle from duty and bring our keys to the person who was supposed to watch the cats. Turns out it's this old judgy neighbour lady who was annoyed that we wanted to show her where the cat food and litter were, where we had made a neat pile of clean pet bowls and plates for them, the lists with how much and how many portions to feed them, our phone numbers... and then she got pissy because "[Roommate] said I only had to feed the cats once a day"

EXCUSE ME?

WHY DON'T YOU TRY TO SURVIVE ON ONE MEAL AND A SINGLE GLASS OF WATER A DAY, ELIZABETH?

Anyway we reiterated the importance of getting the cats fed and their water changed twice a day, and hoped The Roommate had chosen a dependable person to take care of the cats

*narrator's voiceover* turns out, in fact, that she hadn't

Roommate calls us two days later to say that the catsitter called her with her panties in a twist because there were maggots in the cat food and she had to toss it all away, that she was calling another lady to pick up the catsitting, that in the end the new lady was going to buy more cat food, and and and

WHOA MCFUCKING THERE, PARDNER

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE HAD TO THROW AWAY OUR CAT'S FOOD"

"It's okay, she handled it"

"But we have enough food, there's a metal box full of wet food and a full bag of kibble"

"It's okay, she handled it"

"We have to come back to town tomorrow to get our covid vaccine shots, if there's the need for more food we can stop by the pet shop on the way"

"It's okay, she handled it"

The gods gifted me with many virtues

Patience is not one of them

And at this point the gf was already restraining me to not yell at the phone, and we agreed on not stopping by on Monday to not stress the cats further with showing up and going away, and trusting the new caretaker, that had already watched over The Roommate's cat before, to not be a complete moron

We overestimated her

We came back today to find the new caretaker, who did not even invite us in for a coffee, all pissy about The Penny having bitten her this morning when "all I did was trying to pet her". She gave us back our keys and we walked into our apartment, where The Penny was already screaming her little lungs out

The apartment

Was

Mess.

Penny's litter box hadn't been cleaned, at all, ever since we left

She had one bowl of water instead of the two we had left

The tray we place her bowls on was FILTHY

And I don't know what the fuck was in her kibble bowl, but boy

It was NOT the kibble that we had prepared for the week and left in a glass jar right in front of the tray

We thought that was all, but nope! Walking into the kitchen made the nightmare even worse! The food that we had set aside for the cats, that the lady claimed was gone so fast because it was filling with maggots, was still sealed on the shelf with the little notes on how to portion it attached. We had laid out wet food for a week, of which not even HALF had been used, and The Roommate's cat's kibble didn't even seem to have been touched. Instead, there were two boxes and a bag of SHIT ASS cat food of a brand we had never seen before, full of grains and coloring and other bullshit, not to mention the bag of kibble for fixed cats. WE are responsible pet owners that fixed our baby as soon as she was old enough, but The Roommate refuses to do the same to her cat (that has been constantly in heat for a while, mind you) but feeds her kibble for sterilized cats. If you're wondering if this makes her cat underweight and low energy, well, BINGO! We had finally convinced her to change into better kibble, and this FUCKER comes around and buys this shit under the premise that "poor kitty cat had no food" while there were TWO BAGS IN THE KITCHEN AND PENNY'S JAR IN OUR ROOM

And the bowls. My good lord, the bowls.

Penny eats out of steel bowls that we wash after every meal, and the water one gets washed once a day. The Roommate isn't nearly as organized with her cat's stuff, but she keeps telling everyone who listens for at least ten seconds about how her cat's whiskers are particularly sensitive and therefore she cannot eat out of regular pet bowls (instead she keeps feeding the cat in plastic plates that only get washed once a blue moon but we'll get to that in another ranty post). We specified on the notes taped to the food shelf that she has to be fed on open plate, and what did the asshole do? WELL, OBVIOUSLY NOT THAT. She grabbed a random Penny bowl and filled it with kibble, another random Penny bowl and filled it with water. And completely ignored the tray we had laid out for the other cat, with her little plate and the wider water bowl, putting the "meal" she prepared on the kitchen counter instead

Unlike Penny's litter box, that hadn't seen a scoop since we left the house, the other cat's stuff had been cleaned. Once. And the bag with the litter trash was still open in the bathroom for everyone to see and smell, because obviously, it's not like the cat would maybe just maybe like to have a room that doesn't smell of her own fucking shit, specially if said room is right besides the one where she sleeps

Now it's the following morning and I'm still seething, I cannot believe the fucking audacity. We would happily (okay, maybe not happily, but we definitely would) skip the vacation if there was no one to watch the cats. They're little living creatures that need attention, and we happily provide when we're around. It's not a crime to say "I can't watch over your pets, sorry", it doesn't make you a horrible, rude, inconsiderate person. You know what does, though? ACCEPTING TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR SOMEONE'S PET AND DOING A SHIT ASS JOB OF IT

We laid out everything. We left clean bowls and plenty of kibble and wet food. We left clean scoops to clean their litter boxes. We explained everything and literally left a phone number taped to the food shelf in case they needed us for anything. Instead, the first bitch called The Roommate to complain and the second one just deadass did whatever the fuck she wanted (also I'm convinced that she was overfeeding the cats kibble and not giving them wet food to avoid maggots instead of, you know, sticking around until the cats finished eating and putting the food away when they did. Which means The Penny gained weight in this week, a LOT of it). And ignoring the things we had prepared and explained with so much care to 1) make their lives easier and 2) MAKE IT AS SAFE AND NOT STRESSFUL FOR THE CATS AS POSSIBLE.

We've been home for twelve hours and Penny still hasn't stopped being whiny, which I'm pretty sure is only partly because she is annoyed at us for spending a long time away, but also because she has been bored out of her mind, since these people act like cats are part of the furniture and don't need attention besides some horrible slop thrown into their food bowls. Our cat missed having play time with her wand toys, hanging out with us while we watch tv, eating together (obviously, her having a little bowl of cat food while we eat human food, that we do NOT give her because we aren't stupid), sleeping in the same bed. Of course you're not mandated to do that if you're just hopping by to check on the cats and give them food, but don't act like they're furniture and then get pissy when they try to bite you because they're under stimulated! CATS NEED TO HUNT, and if you don't provide a prey in the form of a toy they're gonna hunt your fucking fingers, and my only regret is that Penpen didn't rip that asshole's hand off

I don't think there is a point to this post, I'm just angry and annoyed and frustrated, but typing everything out in an angry rant is better than yelling and scaring my already sad toebean of a cat, I guess?

Anyway if you read all of this I'm sorry and have a picture of Her Catship The Penny Dreadful

#the life and times of glittter #my cats #the penny #penny dreadful #ranty ranty ranty rant

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theravencawsatmidnight · 4 years

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Curious Cat pt 6

Summary. Shigaraki , feared villain. Has been hit with a quirk that has turned him into a moody mouthy cat. Reader takes him home and he slowly comes around, sort of. But the quirk has worn off now. And after a little quickie hes gone back to the hideout full of regret.

Shigaraki stomped all the way back to the hideout with his arms folded tight over his chest. Nice job, idiot. She knows it's you. Great. You were supposed to scare her not hesitate like some scaredy cat. He looked over his shoulder,not seeing you. Well , it's not like she will follow me. Not into villain territory. Stupid human.

You had fallen to your knees outside once you lost him . People looked down at you, your coffee stained apron, your shocked face. That was Shigaraki, a villain. He had Tomu’s collar , but why? Would he know where Tomu is-?

“Y/n!!!” Shouted a voice along with a door slam.

You looked back to see your boss Looking angry. “Go home! You're done for the day! Im taking that cup out of your paycheck!” The door slammed again getting a wince out of you. A passerby offered to help you up but you pushed yourself up brushing off your apron. You needed answers.

Shigaraki kicked the hideout door open to see Toga ‘helping’ Kurogiri wipe down the bar. She was using her sleeve. Kurogiri was less than happy about it but he let her help anyway. The door slam got them both to look up . Toga waved and Kurogiri said ‘hello’ . Shigaraki sat down with a hard thud clicking his teeth.

“Did you?” Kurogiri asked softly.

“I gave her the stupid collar back and left.”

“Did you explain the situation?”

“No”

“Tomura Shigaraki!”

The Leader clicked his teeth spinning around to see the rest of the hideout. This dump is not homey at all. Humans home was much more- He blinked , squeezing his folded arms tight.

Toga tapped his back so he would look at her. “Tomura, what if she comes here?”

“Shes a stupid Human , she wont know where to look.”

“You better hope your right Tomura Shigaraki.”

“Tch.” The Leader slid off his chair walking to his room, he slammed the door and threw himself on his bed staring at the wall. Stupid bed. Not even comfortable. He grabbed the blanket pulling it over his head burying his face in his pillow.

The days went on, and you had been doing all kinds of research on Shigaraki . You always found the same information , crimes, murders, the League. You just wanted to know where the hideout was.. Maybe you should look yourself. And with that awful idea you got up putting your phone away and grabbed a bag stuffing your phone in it. You left your house calling a taxi and made your way to the other side of the city.

Shigaraki was playing his switch on the couch with Toga next to him, asking him all sorts of annoying questions about being a cat. Spinner was at the bar trying to figure out what his Leader would look like as a cat and Kirogiri was wiping down the bar.

“Did you eat cat food?” Asked the girl

“Do you wanna die?” He snapped at her but she just giggled leaning on him.

“Pleaseeee Tomuraaa. Its important. What did you do when she left for work? I bet you threw a fit.”

“Shut up.”

“You did didn't you!!! Kurogiri!! Even as a kitty he was fussy!!!”

“I believe it Himiko”

Shigaraki flinched at their laughter rolling his eyes.

The door opened and Dabi walked in with his hand over his mouth and a paper in his free hand. He strolled over to his Leader chuckling. Shigaraki looked up and Toga jumped up to see the paper. She let out the loudest squeal Shigaraki had ever heard, he winced. Dabi flipped the paper over leaning down laughing loud. “IS THAT YOU!!!?”

It was a Missing Cat flyer. With a picture of him looking VERY angry at his cat toys. When the fuck did Human take this?!?. Shigaraki got up grabbing the flyer from the laughing villain and Kurogiri rushed over to see it too.

Missing Cat.

Tomu

Light blue, shaggy hair on his head

Fussy but very loveable

A phone number and a home address.

Fucking Human! God dammit.. What the hell is this?!? . It was obvious that the cat was him, if villains found out you had contact with him, or the Pros..

“LOOK AT YOU HAHA!!!!!!” Dabi weezed, leaning on Toga who couldn't stop making annoying noises.

Spinner snuck over getting a peek and his eyes got wide. He looked at Shigaraki then the flyer a few times. Kurogiri was chuckling and Shigaraki was staring at the flyer, crinkling its side.

“TOMUUU!!!” Teased Dabi.

“So cute!!!” Toga added.

“SHUT U-“

A quiet knock filled everyone's ears. The door opened slowly and Shigaraki dusted the flyer.

••

The taxi brought you just outside the sketchy part of the city. You thanked the man and he shrugged turning around driving away. You squeezed your bag looking at the bunched together buildings. Some villains were making themselves known too, walking around the area eyeing you. You had found an image online that looked like an old bar, it was your only lead unless you asked the villains..

Cautiously you walked down the sidewalk trying to ignore the villains you passed.

“Whats a pretty thing like you doing here huh?”

“Never seen you before”

“Looking for someone?”

“It's not safe here for a pretty lady…”

Even though the villains never approached you, them following you , talking in your ear was terrifying. You came to a rather large fancy building stopping in front of it to look in the mirrors. The villains dispersed and the door clicked open. You looked up to see an old man smiling down at you, he had on a fancy suit and a cigarette in his mouth.

“Can i help you, little lady?”

“I mean no trouble.. i'm looking for Shigaraki.”

He raised an eyebrow at you, closing the door behind him with a small smirk on his face. “Allow me to take you.”

“Thank you! I ..”

“Giran, sweetie.”

••

On the way there you explained why you were looking for him and Giran could not help but chuckle. Oh this was grand he thought. He knew Shigaraki was missing for a while but he never expected him to be turned into a cat . Giran brought you to a building that matched your photo and held the door open for you following you inside. The closer you got to the second door the louder the laughing you heard got.

You looked back once you reached the door and Giran smiled at you, lighting a new cigarette with his gun. Very slowly you pushed the door open peaking in.

Everyone looked back at you and Giran peered in over you waving. “Hello hello, I brought a friend.” He teased pushing the door open. The flyer turned to dust and Shigaraki pushed Dabi and Toga outta the way, stomping over to you .

What the hell is this. What the hell is this?!? How did she find me? Giran? Fucking HELL.

“Giran.” He spat out.

Giran put his hand on your head smiling. “She just wants to talk Tomu.”

Your eyes got big and you grabbed Shigarakis wrist, scaring him . “Tomu!!! Its you isn't it? “

Shigaraki shook you off stepping back. “Get her out of here. I don't know this person.”

You whimpered and Kurogiri walked over holding his hand out to you. “Miss. Welcome. I have a couple questions for you.”

You nodded fast letting him lead you to the bar while Shigaraki gave Giran the worst death look . The old man shrugged smiling , the door closing behind him.

Toga grabbed your hand squealing asking a bunch of questions, beaming about how pretty you were. Dabi went over too leaning on the bar asking you all about his Leader. Kurogiri offered you water and shot his Leader a look till he stomped over sitting down next to you. Spinner walked into the room seeing you , he jumped back behind the wall watching.

“What the hell are you thinking?” Shigaraki asked you with annoyance in his voice . “Do you realize how dangerous it is to be here? The fact that you know me . Your so stupid. Inconsiderate Human. “

“Tomura Shigaraki!!!” Kurogiri enforced.

The Leader crossed his arms and Kurogiri turned his attention back to you . You were gripping your bag tight trying not to look at him. It was him, your cat. Your cat was a villain. Slowly you looked up at Kurogiri . “What.. did you want to ask?” . While you and Kurogiri chatted Shigaraki was left with his thoughts.

I cannot believe this. I should have dusted her when I had the chance. How is Human getting home huh? These fucking villains around here wont be nice to Human. Its late in the day , your suppose to be home watching that stupid tv show you love so much . Eating that cheap food .

He looked over at you , his fists tightening. You turned to him once you caught him staring. Slowly you reached into your bag pulling the collar out and an apron.

Human. I dont want that stupid collar. I hated that thing. What is that cloth? He snatched it looking it over. The apron? The apron I slept on? What the fuck am i go-

“Tomu.. I want you to have these..” you sniffled and his gaze shot right to your face. You had tears pooling in your eyes. “I want you to know.. finding you. Was the happiest I've been in a very long time. I don't understand what happened-“

“I changed back and I fucked you.” Be upset.

That night when it was hot as fuck in your dump of a home.” Get out of here

Kurogiri raised his voice startling you. “Tomura Shigaraki!!!” But he just ignored it

“The quirk wore off and I took advantage of your sutty body .” It's not safe here, you'll get hurt.

You retracted your arm looking down at the collar, your tears hitting it.

“That stupid collar. I hated it. And this.. apron?” He tossed it over the bar . “Stupid.” Why aren't you leaving? “You were so tight around me , squeezing me just right”

“TOMURA SHIGARAKI”

“SHUT UP KUROGIRI!!” Shigaraki kicked his chair away. “ITS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. “ he turned his attention to you to see you wiping your eyes so you could see him. “Tomu.. you were so gentle with me… you even dressed me after….”

His heart nearly skipped a beat. Oh fuck.

••

@bat-eclecticwolfbouquet-love @babayaga67 @Unknownweeabo

#CuriousShiggy #tomura shigaraki #shigaraki x reader #dabi #himiko toga #kurogiri #giran

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soyouareandrewdobson · 4 years

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Alex ze Pirate Mini Review 2: Underappreciated and how Sam should deal with an abuser.

Last time I gave a general overview of how Sam is treated by his “friends”. Now I want to give a more specific example, that will also show how Dobson’s storytelling abilities are not really all that good, particularly when it comes to pacing or building up any sort of conflict.

You see, for the most part Alex ze Pirate is just a collection of stupid artwork (not even concept art, just random artwork Dobson makes of his characters dressed as something random) and one page strips with a stupid punchline, with Sam most of the time being the receiving punching bag.

There have however been a few individual, short stories over time. And when I say short stories, I mean short. As in 15 pages for a very cheap set up, a few jokes and a punchline. Those include stories such as All that Glitters (where everyone except Alex breaks into a fortress to steal something), The Wish Fish (the only halfway okay story of them all because it is just meant to be comedic) and Best Laid Plans. However, near the end of the initial run of AzP, Dobson did a three part story (partly) focused on Sam in that format, which started off with the chapter I want to talk in this post: “Underappreciated”.

As you can see, the chapter starts off following some basic rules of storytelling in comics. Two establishing panels for the location at which the story takes place initially and showing what Sam’s duties are. Nothing really bad yet. The only thing that sticks out being just the fact that a) Sam does not have his own bedroom and has to sleep in a useless outlook and b) he sleeps in his regular clothes. But hey, nothing to get upset about initially, perhaps he just prefers it like this at the moment. But with the next two pages…

The problems start to show. Page three establishing that Atea herself is just a cunt who can’t even have the basic decency of wishing her “friend” a good morning or giving him a thank you for bringing a morning beverage as she has other selfish priorities on her mind. Like wanting to lick the shower water of Alex’s skin.

Also, go fuck yourself Uncle Peggy. As in, get both your arms ripped off, shoved up your butthole with those hooks and then get hanged on those stomps like a chandelier. I wouldn’t even mind the fact here that Peggy left a mess, if the face he makes in the last panel was not obvious of the fact he left the bathroom like this on purpose and that he is rather happy of making Sam’s day extra miserable by the fecal matter he left behind. Combined with any previous strip of the comic showing that Peggy for no reason likes to get the boy in trouble and even wants to see him die, this just shows once more of how much of an asshole he is. If the last panel just showed him with a groogy hangover look, obviously unaware of how much discomfort he brings unintentionally to Sam, that would be one thing. But intentionally making Sam’s day miserable despite the obvious fact the boy is the first one to do anything around here, while making one of the worst drawn “HAHA, I am such a rascal faces” I have ever seen (and I have seen shitty anime en mass) makes me hate the character more than Dobson intented.

And then there is page 5…

And it is in my opinion the saddest page in the entire comic arc, even compared to the “heartbreaking” stuff Dobson wants to pull up in the last third of it. Because though it is meant as a joke, the general execution is too cruel, crossing into “dude, not funny” territory and showing just how little the crew cares for Sam. Talus, Sam’s “best friend” not even aware he is around, everyone stealing Sam’s food with that stupid “Yoink” sound (seriously, I wish the characters would get punched in the vaginas each time they make this sound in any of Dobson’s strips) and then leaving Sam behind with smug faces, ready to do whatever they want to do, while he, likely stinking of feces and not even having showered properly, has also to clean up after those pigs, who can’t even eat in a proper manner ( hey Atea, use a fork instead of holding the bowl) and silently. I mean, they are pretty much pigs when the noises they make are loud enough, they make the font of the writing change randomly into whatever Dobson has on his computer with every sound. Not to forget the mess they leave behind. And they call Sam the Slob?

Anyway, on to the next page…

And who the heck left their Hello Kitty toy in the bathtub? Also, I hate the way Alex’s face is drawn in the lower left corner. Something about the eyes in relation to the shit eating grin just looks off. Less “smug” and gleefully awaiting whatever she plans next and looking more like Dobson when someone tells him his opinion and reasoning for it is bad, but he can’t yell back at them because they are part of a minority and so he has make a “good face” to a bad situation, while internally he is already imagining how to strawman them in some fake news worthy facebook post.

And then we get to page 7. Which features the WORST addition to the “Alex ze Pirate” canon Dobson has ever thought up. An embodiment of what is wrong with Dobson when it comes to inserting internet culture related stuff into his own work. Ladies and gentlemen… the lolcat pirates

Yeah, those Hello Kitty rejects who ironically look still more like a proper cat than Spot in Danny and Spot, are essentially one of the worst jokes Dobson has ever created. Because they are a joke without a punchline. See, all there is to them is that they are sentient cats, that speak in a manner associated with lolcat posting. And that is the “joke”. Their speech pattern being based on a dumb internet meme that was popular at the time Dobson drew this page. It is like if you portray an Asian by making them talk with a shitty racist accent and that supposedly counts already as comedy. It is not funny, because there is nothing really done with it in context of the story. Like no one addresses the weird way they talk. Also, with the font Dobson uses, it is just an eyesore to any reader and the text gets aggravating the more the captain of the cats talks. It shows why lolcat pictures only had very short sentences accompanying the pics, cause reading more than 8 words written in this manner tingles a part of your brain that makes you want to shout “English motherfucker, do you speak it”?

Don’t get me even started on how the joke would get lost to anyone unaware of lolcats and how dated the joke already was back when the page was posted, which is one of many reasons why comic artists should just in general avoid memes in their work, if they hope for it to pass the test of time. Instead let me just point out the fact that though Alex said “All hands prepared for casting off” on the previous page (which is also a very unnatural way to give the order “Everyone get ready! Take off in 10 minutes”) not all hands are on board, seeing how Uncle Peggy is missing on this page (and spoilers) many pages of this afterwards. Weird. I thought he would be onboard the moment Alex mentioned they are going to hijack a ship full of pussy. Lastly, this is Alex being a “badass”? Taking over a ship full of little furballs you can defeat with a laserpointer, a squeaky toy and catnip? Sam, this is not just “almost” embarrassingly easy, this is literally on a level similar to stealing candy from a baby. That is mentally handicapped. And without supervision. In a candy story.

At least it turns out there is genuinely something worth stealing on this ship. Otherwise all Alex would have accomplished on that very day would have been animal abuse for the sake of entertainment. Though now it also gets me thinking: A place called Katsville, the revelation that the captain is supposedly the child of a high ranking military feline within the sea force of an entire species of sentient cats… how exactly does the world of Alex ze Pirate function? Look, I do not want to get into too much detail about this point here yet, because it is a bigger issue with the worldbuilding (or rather lack thereof) of this series in general, but what is the “consistency” when it comes to races and species in this world? See, One Piece for example is overall a very “cartoonish” and fantastic world (more cartoonish than what Dobson creates on average) when you think of the fact there are fish men, giant seacows and seamonsters, sentient furry creatures, islands in the sky, sentient weather phenomenons etc next to humans. And while Oda does not really spend time elaborating in very high detail how his world works, the sheer abundance of those elements and how they were established pretty early on in the story and are revisited constanly, with the cartoonish flavor and humor of One Piece on top of it, makes those oddities feel organic and a part of the world.

Not so much in AzP. Here over 90% of the time any character not related to the crew is some generically drawn human, in a very generically human setting with jokes just not cartoonish enough. So the world of AzP feels more “realistic” and less oddish, making then things like Talus, the lolcat pirates and once a giant sea dragon that looked like Elliot’s rejected cousin

Stand out like a sour thumb that looks like this

But I digress. Lets see what makes Sam, who just seems bored and wants to end his miserable life/drink his sorrows away, throw the cat captain against the wall.

Okay. Sam’s overall reaction makes it clear, the locket is important. So “kudos” for establishing this and in doing so also create within a moment a bit of intrigue for the reader. After all, why does this locket get such a reaction out of Sam, who we know so far as more happy go lucky or deadpan in parts, instead of looking genuinely distraught. Heck, the fact he even tells Alex to shut up when she commands him around should highlight how out of character finding this locket truly makes Sam.

Then there is Alex’s reaction to being told to shut up, which she takes with as much dignity as someone telling Dobson to just stop fawning about underaged lesbians in a toddler show.

Jesus Christ, she faces being told she looks like a guy with more grace than that. I mean, isn’t she used to being told to shut her trap? Cause if I were her parents, I would have told this entitled redheaded whinner a few times over the course of her childhood to shut up.

Scum sucking cabin boy… said by a butt ugly whore who would genuinely suck scum off if it means she can finally get laid instead of being mistaken for a man. By the way, with that angry face she makes in the first panel, I can totally see why others would mistake her for a dude. She just looks unpleasant and not in a funny way like that red panda girl from Aggretsuko. See, when she gets angry, it looks hilarious and cute because of the contrast to how the character looks ordinarily. This is just Alex looking even more unpleasant as usual.

Now, before I continue with the next pages, I like to point out the face Sam makes in the upper panel and Sam’s overall body language in the last one.

It is obvious that Sam is meant to be in a state of mind where he knows for what he is getting yelled at and where he genuinely reacts in a hurt manner. His body shaking, his head tilted down, not saying even a word. You would expect that the next page of this comic would be a follow up. Seeing Sam, who is pent up, lashing out in some way. Either for example by justifying why he said it, getting sad, angry, perhaps even violent in that situation. After all, so far the way this story has been structured, a lot of emphasize was put on the fact that Sam is treated not well and that finding this locket actually has an uncommon effect on him. Heck, even the title of this chapter hints on the idea, that we should get some sort of huge reaction out of Sam now on the next page, as this is supposed to be Sam’s story.

Instead it is just Alex grumbling and grinding her teeth, unable to comprehend that someone finally told her something every reader with more than 20 braincells said when reading this comic series. And this in my opinion is from a structural point, one of the biggest missteps in this story. Obviously, this is supposed to be a comic about Sam, based on title and him being the one character in it with the most emotional aspects so far. And it is also obvious that this is not just meant to be a silly gag comic but supposedly one with emotional weight. So, where is that weight so far, aside from the panels showing Sam being miserable because he gets the short end of the stick by his friends? Sorry to hijack this thing here now with my own ideas, but if I had writen this story, page 12 and 13 would have actually been an immense turning point for me in the dynamic so far. Why I would have let Alex shout at Sam for insubordination, I would have made it more than one panel of Alex calling him scum and also end likely with Sam, who obviously reaches a limit the longer she goes on about it, end punching her in the face, perhaps even knock out. Show truly just how far Sam is pushed emotionally at this moment, keeping it however ambiguous if he hit her because of her words hurting or because of something else, in doing so focusing also the attention to the reader back on the locket.

As an aftermath of this, Alex would (if not knocked out) hit Sam back, much to Atea’s and Talus horror, later implying additionally that Sam left because of being hit by whom he thinks is not just his captain but a “friend” (oh yes spoiler, Sam is gone in the next chapter) or the next page would be of Alex waking up back in her hideout from having been knocked out. Atea and Talus informing her what happened, her deciding to deal with Sam later on after recovering (who accompanied everyone back on the island temporarily) only for the last page showing Sam deciding that he is leaving the island, ending the chapter on Sam in a small boat slowly drifting away from the island. You know, something to give the chapter the feeling that the “shut up” moment is an emotional turning point in this story and that there might be something bigger going on that resulted in Sam deciding to leave, without having him however go full Meg Griffin as in the Family Guy episode “Seashell Seahorse Party”, chewing Alex and the others out for the way they treat him. Cause honestly, as much as I like for Alex, Atea and Talus to be chewed out and face consequences for their actions, doing so would likely just be (like in that Family guy episode) a pointless fillerbuster in the bigger picture of things, as no real consequences would come out of it.

Well that and just like the writers of Family Guy, Dobson is just equally loathsome and thinks he can write whatever sick joke he wants and can on his characters, basic decency or consistency in writing be damned.

But back to the comic, where things just “end” as shown here instead of any real emotions boiling up and a cliffhanger that may genuinely beg the question what is going to happen next to anyone involved in this thing.

Cause really, by the time it is night and Sam says it is time to go, you are not surprised he wants to go, even if he did not have a genuine emotional outburst within this chapter. After all, who wants to stay with “friends” like this, with Talus and Atea not even trying to cheer him up and instead ignoring his obvious need for comfort in this uncomfortable way, as if they are a bunch of racists trying to look away as someone beats a black person in front of them into a pulp. The only question you may ask yourself by the time the last page is hit, is who that generic looking girl is, whose picture has been photoshopped into the locket.

Something we may not find out by the time the next chapter and part of this review hits, but will get to eventually. Until then guys, in order to end on something happier, funnier and just genuinely more pleasant than what this story presented to us so far, have something silly and Super Sentai related here for the sake of childish entertainment.

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#Andrew Dobson #alex ze pirate #webcomics #syac #tom preston #abusive female heroes #abusive heroes #atea #talus #comics #cartoons #this sucks #storytelling 101 #adobsonartwork

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thenamesseven · 4 years

Text

Word count: 6.5 more or less….I KNOW IT’S LONG BUT I COULDN’T HELP IT

A/N: Mingyu’s part is already here, this is probably the best part so far so...You better enjoy it xD

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“Kitty are you lost?” A deep, soft voice asked. Shivers ran down your spine “Let me show you the way”

You opened your mouth to say something, anything to get away from the new voice that at this point you knew would end up getting you in trouble. No matter how many guys were living in this house, they were all after your blood and even when there was hope that some of them weren’t interested in killing you, they seem to be interested in using you as their entertaining toy.

Even when Junhui had given you a slight hope, it all vanished as soon as he somehow dragged you into his twisted game and ended up with his fangs deep into your skin. You couldn’t trust any of them even if they weren’t violent but you had to play their games to get out of this house.

“No”

The word that escaped your lips surprised him as much as it surprised you, your tongue had moved before your brain gave it permission, like this past few hours, you were still acting on instinct, forgetting about the rational part of your body. Your inner-self was telling you to fight, while the rational part told you to submit to them until they got tired of toying with you and release you to keep going with your life as if nothing had ever happened.

Deep down, you had a feeling that wasn’t going to happen since you were seeing too much to be freed alive but those kind of depressing thoughts weren’t exactly what you needed right now.

The sound of a smirk brought your eyes up to the face of your new encounter and honestly, in the mentally weak state you were in after Jun’s games you would have prefered to not look at him.

He was wearing black, tight pants that left little to your imagination since the cloth sticked to his thighs, allowing you to see how well carved his muscles were. The white shirt he was wearing was half unbuttoned, letting your eyes wander around his tanned yet defined chest, all you could think right now was if you will ever walk into somebody ugly in this house. Why were all of them so attractive? Did immortality made them look hotter somehow? Or was it the dangerous feeling of them being able to kill you whenever they felt like it? Wanted or not, your life was in their hands since they were way more powerful than you. That was painfully obvious at this point.

“You’re a handful, aren’t you?” He asked, quickly noticing you were checking him out. You felt like he was only talking to finally make you look up at him, into his eyes.

His lips were thin but full in the right places and his teeth were as white as snow, he just had one of those mouths that were shown in dental advertisements. His eyes were brown, like the sweet sweet chocolate you loved, like one of the few things you couldn’t resist to. His gaze had this mischievous glint that gave away he wasn’t up to something good, this guy was trouble and you didn’t need to get to know him to find that out.

Mingyu was delighted with the sight of you to say the least. When his eyes landed on your body, on each curve you had, the male felt his blood turn hot from desire. His hands turned into fists to hold himself back from claiming you right there, where everybody could see and hear it. It had been so long since somebody made him feel that way, after turning into what he was, Mingyu used people as mere toys or food but you were something else, you were special. Maybe it was the way you looked so innocent but deep down, in that pure heart of yours, dark desires hid. Mingyu knew humans well enough to know you weren't the good girl people thought you were and if he was wrong, he wouldn't have any trouble stealing that innocence away from you.

“Aren’t you hungry?” He asked again, staring back into your eyes.

“Where’s the exit?” You knew he wouldn’t tell you the answer but who knows? Maybe he would set you free, there had to be somebody good among these thirteen men, right? When the guy smirked again, you knew that wasn’t happening.

“Are you hungry?” He questioned you once again, hands in his pockets as he casually leaned against the wall

“I don’t eat with strangers” You snapped back, wanting to be as confident as he seemed to be in this conversation. Maybe it was because he knew that no matter what you said, you would never find the exit of the house and he would win.

Mingyu liked this little fight you were putting up to resist to his charms, there was nothing in this world that he loved more than a challenge and he knew he had one right in front of him. With fast yet smooth movements, the vampire caged you between the wall and his body, he placed his forearms on both sides of your head against the wall so your faces would be really close to each others’.

His breath fanned your face gently, his eyes looking straight into yours making you feel this indescribable pull towards him. Something similar you felt when you were with Jun but it wasn’t the same sensation. It was probably weaker since you hadn’t drank his blood.

“But you bath with them, huh?” He asked in a mocking tone, licking his lips slowly when your cheeks started turning slightly pink at his accusation. He was right, it was slightly hypocritical for you to say you wouldn’t eat with him after bathing with one of his brothers. Your body unconsciously shivered when you remembered the intense moment you just had with Jun, the way his big hands had touched your body so gently, bringing you closer and closer to your ecstasy right before he sank his teeth into your neck. “Did you go mute, kitty? What’s wrong?” He insisted, playful smirk in his lips as he brushed your hair out of your face with the back of his hand.

“I….I didn’t….J-Jun and I….”

He shook his head at your stuttering, letting you know he wouldn’t listen to your excuses as he looked down at you like a lion stared at his prey seconds before eating it. He gave you a sense of danger different than what you felt with the others, he seemed to not have intentions of killing you or at least that’s what he body language was telling you, however, you had the feeling he was seeing through you, staring at your, seeking your darkest secrets.

“It didn’t sound like Jun was forcing you to do anything” He added smiling like the Cheshire cat, making your heart beat faster and faster something that made his smirk bigger and bigger “In fact, you seemed to be very eager for him to touch you, mhm?” His hand, the one that had been playing with some strands of your hair went down to your neck, making shivers run down your spine as his skin caressed yours. He was as cold as ice but you were hot from the embarrassment he was making you feel.

“So what? Since I’m locked here and have almost been murdered twice I wanted to enjoy the company of somebody who wouldn’t treat me like a toy or a piece of meat” His grin turned lopsided, even more mocking if it could.

“Kitty, if you wanted to be touched the right way” His tone turned quiet as he leaned down, leaving soft, small kisses as his lips moved down your neck “You just needed to come to me” He bit you but without using his fangs, he bit you in a sexual way, something that made you squirm underneath his body. Mingyu loved that, you would be oh so easy to please “I might be dead but I know how to make you feel alive”

The quiet gasp that exited your lips gave him the answer he had been seeking for, you were as hungry as he was, the fight you were putting up against his charms wouldn’t last long. You were all his and his was planning to claim you like all his brothers had done. He would introduce you to a new form of pleasure no human would be able to make you feel, Mingyu would take you to cloud nine before dragging you into the hottest, sexiest hell with him.

Dear, oh dear, you didn’t know who you were talking with yet.

“Mingyu” He said with a boyish smile, pushing away from you to look all innocent and pure as if he hadn’t been whispering sexual innuendos in your ear five seconds ago “It’s a pleasure to meet you” He muttered, reaching down to take your hand and bringing it up to his lips to kiss it, his enticing eyes never leaving yours.

You couldn’t help but snort quietly when he made emphasis on the word pleasure, you had a feeling your whole conversation would be about sex around him no matter what the two of you talked about. “Since you’re not going to tell me where the exit is, can you show me where the kitchen is so I can have some food?” You asked looking at him, trying to act as if his words hadn’t affect you.

“I knew you were hungry” Without saying anything else or at least giving you the chance to complain about his filthy accusation, Mingyu turned around and started walking down the hall, simply assuming you would follow him.

Gripping the towel, which was the only thing covering your body, you started walking behind him slowly, keeping your distance in case he suddenly turned around and tried something weird. Besides, this was the first time you weren’t being dragged into one of their rooms, Mingyu was giving you the chance to have a look around the house as he guided you down the hall but it wasn’t too useful. All doors were closed and every window was covered which made you guess the sun hadn’t gone completely down, they might not be hurt by the light but they didn’t seem to be a huge fan of it anyways.

There weren't any pictures decorating the inmaculate walls that surrounded you, only some paintings that had a tragic yet sad touch, maybe it was painted by one of them or maybe they had just been purchases but they seemed to be related with their story somehow. For some reason you knew that the pictures hanging around were a clue of what happened to all of them.

"You like it?" Mingyu stopped walking to look at you when he found you staring at one of their most important paintings.

His voice snapped you out of the trance the darkened picture had pulled you into. Blinking twice, you glanced at him before looking back at the huge frame right in front of you. The picture was big enough for you to take a step back in order to see it better, it occupied most of the height of the wall.

The scenery was of a house, it looked like a cabin, a really big one in which a lot of people could have lived in. The cabin was placed in the middle of the forest, a place where not too many people walked around, it looked like it was more like the kind of place people got lost in. Somebody would think the picture calmed you down, after all, the scene looked peaceful. The day was sunny and there was nothing that seemed to be threatening, however, the more you looked at it the more uneasy you felt.

You didn't know what it was exactly, there was nothing that could seem dangerous in it but for some reason, it didn't give you a nice feeling.

"It looks…" You didn't mean to stop, to seem hesitant about your opinion. He probably expected you to say it was beautiful like most people did (If somebody else apart from them had seen it), the last thing you wanted to be was rude to them. "Interesting"

You blinked your eyes once and Mingyu was besides you, hands still in his pockets but instead of on you, his eyes were on the painting. He smiled "This used to be our home" His voice sounded nostalgic, in a mix of sad but also subtle anger "We grew up in there"

"You did?" You asked frowning softly, why did it give you such a bad feeling?

"Mhm" Mingyu nodded thoughtful, letting out a soft sigh "It is interesting indeed" He muttered turning away to keep walking "Really interesting" Giving it one last glance you decided to follow Mingyu, finally arriving to the kitchen.

The room was entirely furnitured and it probably functioned since he had promised some food to you but it was painfully obvious that they didn't use it. There was dust on the counters and tables and even some spiderwebs here and there.

"Excuse us but it's been a really long time since somebody used this kitchen" He muttered opening the fridge, scratching his head as he looked inside. There was nothing to eat in there, it was totally empty. "We need to go grocery shopping if we want to keep you alive" He muttered, you knew you probably weren't supposed to hear that but you did anyways. "Well, this is awkward" He said turning around to face you. "Are you that hungry?"

You shrugged but your stomach had the perfect time to growl in that exact moment. "Kinda?" You said slightly hesitant, scratching the back part of your neck. This was really awkward indeed.

"Kinda too much?" Mingyu said, slightly amused by the sounds your stomach made, the smirk in his lips making you slightly shy.

"Well, I guess that my body needs some food after all I've been through in a few hours" You shrugged, running your fingers through your hair.

"I'll tell somebody to get some food, if you're going to be our guest the least we can do is feed you"

"More like a guest you mean like a walking buffet?" You asked with one of your eyebrow raised.

"For some of us" He shrugged nonchantaly, not caring one bit about what you thought "For the others you're kind of like a toy, a living one" Again, in the time you blinked, Mingyu moved from one side of the kitchen to the other, standing right in front of you. "Besides, we're all dying to put our hands on you since you're the new thing around" With one of his hands, he grabbed a strand of your hair and started playing with it.

"You're dying?" You asked, scoffing "I thought you already died"

Mingyu smirked at your temper, placing his hands on your hips and placing your ass on the counter. You tensed up in his grip, scared since it was nearly impossible to predict what he was going to do next. This was the only bad thing about these guys, their character was so unpredictable, that you would never know how they were going to react.

"I like your sense of humor, you're quite...Entertaining" He said, knowing the word would make you feel even more frustrated. Mingyu separated your legs despite you not willing to do it and walked in between them "You know what I like more?"

"Do I look like I care?" You asked in return, still trying to look as if you didn't care what he was doing.

"That bratty behaviour of yours" Mingyu replied ignoring your question, hands on your thighs moving so slowly...making your skin burn "Making you behave would be so fun, mhmmm and I bet you would love it"

"Sure, right" You said rolling your eyes, leaning back as you tried to put some space between you and him since he kept leaning forward, bringing your faces closer and closer with each word.

"What? You're telling me you're not feeling anything when I do this?" The tip of his fingers brushed the inner zone of your thigh when he moved his hand down to your knee.

It was embarrasing to admit that, one of the guys that were keeping you locked in this mansión against your will, was making you feel some atraction, the sexual kind to be exact, you weren't going to fall in love with any of them.

"No" You said, sounding too determined, too sure. You're voice came out too dry, too strong and Mingyu knew you were feeling exactly what he wanted you to feel.

"What a shame" He mumbled with a small smile, his hands stopping on your thighs as he stared up into your eyes "It could have been so much fun" Sighing as if he was dissapointed, the vampire moved his hands off of you to place them on the counter. "Since we don't have food and you need something else to recover I'll give you some of my blood"

"No" You instantly replied, the last thing you needed was to became dependable, to start begging another one of them.

"Kitten you need it, I really do not want you to die" He said seriously, strictly "Are you afraid of the effects it has?" He smirked cockily "Between the two of us" Mingyu moved closer as if he was going to tell you a secret "I will make you beg either way, with or without you drinking my blood so….Why not have some of it? It will give you something to blame when I'm done with you" Your eyes drifted down to his tongue as he licked his lower lip.

Unfortunately, the shiver that ran down your spine was Mingyu's cue to make his next movement, placing his hands on your thighs once again.

"Come on, Jun didn't give you enough to recover, he just wanted to mess around with you" His voice had gotten lower, deeper, he knew you were falling right into his trap "I will give you enough to make you as strong and fast as you would be after a night full of rest, you won't be hungry and weak...You'll have a chance to fight back" You nodded totally speechless, your brain wasn't working at this point "You want that, don't you?"

"Yes" You replied almost automatically, looking into his eyes

"Good girl" Those words made you feel weird, your lower stomach feeling warm and uneasy as you looked into his eyes. "What? You like that?" He asked with a smirk, his eyes landing on your soft blush "I knew you would" Tilting his head, Mingyu brought your faces even closer, you could feel his breath caressing your lips “I knew you would be the good girl that turns bad, the one that loves the things that I’m about to do to you” He reached up and caressed your head as if you were his pet, as if he was your owner and you being the weak toy you were didn’t say a thing to him.

You could ask yourself later why you didn’t push him away, why you weren’t resisting to his flirting and obviously seductive talking but right now the only thing you could do was put all of your attention on him and enjoy the way his hands touched you. You could blame it on your tiredness or on the hunger, you would blame something else later for your stupidity.

“Here, let me give you some blood first, you’ll need strength for what’s coming”

Your eyes were glued to his as he brought his own wrist close to his mouth, you stared at his bright fangs, first only caressing the skin before the sound of them piercing it turned your skin into goosebumps. A gasp left your lips when you noticed the red liquid tainting his white skin as he moved his hand closer to you. As if Mingyu sensed your hesitation, he brought his untouched hand to the back of your neck to lowkey keep you on your place and not let you move away.

“It’ll be fine, you need this, don’t you?” He asked lowly, softly as if he was trying not to scare you away. “Be a good girl (Y/N), don’t disappoint me”

Without any second thoughts you leaned forward, placing your lips on his wound and sucking his blood. The metallic taste of it made you frown softly but he was right, if you wanted your strength back and there wasn’t any food to keep you on your feet you needed him, you needed his blood so you closed your eyes and kept sucking until he moved his wrist away.

Placing two of his fingers under your chin, Mingyu pulled your face up to face him, eyes meeting again “So beautiful” He whispered, using his thumb to wipe some of his own blood from your lips “Is it good?” He asked, smiling more when you looked away embarrassed “Look at me, I want your eyes on me kitten” Obeying him you kept your eyes on him as he brought his wrist to his lips once again and tainted his lips with his own blood. “You want a bit more?” He asked cockily but in such a sexy way “Then come and get it”

You hesitated at first, your brain was screaming at you to run away but your instinct, your body was pulling you closer and closer to him. If you were going to die in this house, why won’t you at least enjoy the good opportunities they were giving you?

Determined, you wrapped your arms around his neck and pushed Mingyu closer to you right before making your lips meet. The both of you moaned at the much needed physical contact, he had been teasing you this whole time but it was not a secret that he had wanted this as much as you did. His hands instantly landed on your hips, pulling them closer to his body so you could wrap your legs around his waist as the both of you made out.

Mingyu wasn’t playing around with soft and gentle kisses, he was hungry and desperate, he wanted to get what he wanted now and nobody would get on his way. At some point he tilted his head to deepen the kiss, bringing your tongues into a fight of dominance that you would let him win anyways, he made you fall right into his trap and even while you had hated being some kind of vampire toy you didn’t seem to mind that fact as Mingyu kissed you like the world was going to end. At some point, the blood on his lips vanished and even when there wasn’t any excuse for you to keep kissing him you kept doing it, the only thing you could blame now was the attraction drinking his blood would make you feel and even then, you knew you were doing this voluntarily, there was nothing forcing you.

“Fuck kitten” He whispered against your lower lips moaning again when you bit onto his so hard that you managed to draw some more of his blood “Getting some extra rations without permission, huh?” His smirk would have scared normal people but it turned you on even more when his hand moved from your hips to your throat, wrapping all his fingers around it to apply some pressure. “Be a good girl, you do not want to get punished right? That would be such a shame” He leaned back down for a quick kiss, letting you taste his blood once again.

He leaned back a little, getting rid of his shirt and tossing it away before he did the same with the towel that was covering your body, he left you totally exposed to his eyes. Mingyu took a couple of seconds to stare at your torso, his eyes turning even darker as they traced the curve of your neck. He saw the mark his brothers’ fangs had left and his need to own you, to show everybody else you were his, overwhelmed him.

“You’re my good girl, are you not?” He whispered, leaning closer to your neck as he started leaving gentle kisses on it. Mingyu felt you tensing up, probably expecting him to bite you at any second but he only shook his head while he moved his other hand up your inner thigh “That’s not going to happen yet” He kept talking, making little breaks to start leaving hickeys on your skin as if you were a white canvas he had to Paint “And when it happens, you’re going to love it so much Kitten…”

You stayed still, head falling back as Mingyu sucked and licked at random spots on your torso, claiming you as his possession. You were too focused on the feeling of his lips to realize his fingers had made their way to the most sensitive part of your body little by little, it wasn’t until the tip of his fingers caressed your little bundle of nerves that you realized what he was doing.

“Fuck...Mingyu” You moaned his name quietly, breathing turning irregular and heavy as he kept rubbing and sucking. He groaned at the sound of his name, wanting more, needing more of you.

Your skin tasted like bliss but he bet that the elixir coming from between your legs tasted like pure sin. “Keep saying my name kitten, let them hear” He whispered against your neck, feeling your pulse with his lips right before he buried one of his fingers inside of you. The moan that came out of your mouth played with his self control, he was seconds away from getting rid of your pants and just taking the last bit of your innocence away “Let them know who is owning you”

His plan had backfired, at this point, he was as addicted to you as you were to him.

The vampire’s name became a mantra you kept whispering, sometimes lower, sometimes louder while he buried more and more digits into your wet entrance. His thrusts were slow and gentle, Mingyu was taking his sweet time to prepare you for him but he was driving the both of you insane, you were about to lose it if he didn’t give you what you wanted soon.

“Mingyu please” You begged, lips attached to his neck while one of your hands moved down to his pants. He stayed still, embracing you with his strong arms as he allowed you to touch him. He was a man that liked to be in control so you needed to take the opportunity to wander around his body with your hands when he gave it to you. “Stop teasing already” You moaned aroused and annoyed, needing him, wanting him.

His breath faltered, feeling your warm hands travel down his stomach to his pants, you undid them easily pulling them down along with his underwear “Are you sure about this?” He asked looking down at you, he might be a monster, a murderer but he would never take you without your permission first.

“I wouldn’t be begging if I wasn’t sure, would I?” You asked pulling him closer once again for another kiss.

Mingyu didn’t need to be told twice. While the two of you kissed he brought his hands down to your ass and using his strength he picked you up, pushing you flushed against his body. The both of you moaned when your soft skin clashed against his rough one, his define muscles tingling you as you rubbed yourself against him.

“Should I make you mine?” He asked, pushing you back against the fridge, keeping his lips close to yours

“Do it” You moaned in return, the tip of his dick was teasing you and you couldn’t care less if somebody could hear you at this point.

“You have been such a good girl, right? You behaved so well kitten” He whispered kissing your lips while leaving random pecks on your neck

“Yes” You replied obediently, not wanting to disappoint him.

“Do you like it rough kitten?” He stared into your eyes smirking, challenging you.

“Make it hurt”

Mingyu slid himself inside of you in a single thrust. He pushed his whole length, which was not small, into your pussy without hesitation. His body shook in pleasure as you took him in, both of your lips allowing some moans to escape as he held you tightly against the refrigerator.

The grip of your legs around his waist tightened as your nails gently dig into his shoulders, Mingyu didn’t waited for you to get used to the feeling of him being inside of you, he didn’t even ask if you were alright before he started moving. His moves weren’t slow and sweet, love making was a term that didn’t appear in his dictionary. Mingyu only knew how to fuck and he had wanted to fuck you the second you walked into him with only a towel in that hall, he didn’t care that Jun had messed with you first.

He wanted you to be his, he always got what he wanted.

Your back hit the fridge every single time he thrusted into you, if you weren’t sure if vampires had more strength than a normal human did you knew it now, you’ve never been fucked like that and by how tense his muscles were you knew he was holding some of his strength back. At some point, your moans started getting too loud and in an attempt to muffled the sounds you were making you were going to bury your face into Mingyu’s neck but you stopped as soon as you spotted somebody standing on the door.

Wonwoo, the first vampire you encountered.

He had a smirk on his face, teeth buried in his lower lip as he watched how his brother fucked your brains out in their kitchen. Your face turned even redder if it was possible as you tried to hide behind Mingyu’s body.

“Don’t get shy on me now babe, enjoy this as much as he’s doing it” Mingyu whispered against your ear, hands gripping your hips so strong that it would probably leave marks.

“I thought you were scared of us?” Wonwoo asked in a mocking tone, staring at you.

You were about to try and hide again but Mingyu stopped his thrusting, placing you down onto the floor “Not of me, right kitten? She even drank my blood” He informed smirking, pushing you closer to the table and bending you over it. You were right in front of Wonwoo now, the only thing between your bodies was the table you were bent over right now. Before you could reply to his question Mingyu spanked your ass hard, making you moan “Mhm, I knew you would like this, she’s such a slut” He said, looking at his brother

Wonwoo nodded to his sentence, shaking his head in disbelief “If I knew you would beg to get fucked like this I would have played with you a little longer love”

Mingyu’s hand went up to grab your hair into a ponytail, pulling it back so your back would be pressed against his chest. He started thrusting into you once again faster and stronger this time. His other hand was around your throat, squeezing it enough to make breathing a harder task than it already was.

“M-Mingyu” You stuttered, pussy clenching and sucking him deeper every time his hips moved

“It’s okay kitten, don’t hold back” He assured you, thrusting harder and faster, you were sure everybody in the house was hearing you at this point. Wonwoo’s eyes turned darker at the view, his eyes focused on your face and how it contorted with pleasure thanks to Mingyu’s thrust.

“Harder Mingyu, fuck her senseless” He ordered, smirking when his brother obeyed him.

“F-Fuck!” You screamed at the edge of tears, seconds away from your orgasm.

“Now I’m going to bite you” Mingyu whispered against your ear aggressively “Because there’s nothing more delicious than drinking your partner’s blood while having an orgasm...You’re going to give it to me, right kitten? You’ll give daddy your blood, right?”

There was no way you would reject him, it was just impossible. The only thing you could do was beg “Min-Mingyu please”

“Fuck she looks so hot” Wonwoo muttered.

“She is hot, she’s so fucking sexy”

Their compliments only brought you closer and before you could warn Mingyu, your inner walls started squeezing his dick so hard that he came seconds after you. If the pleasure was intense, it only turned even better when he buried his fangs into your neck, sucking blood from it slowly, drinking you and your ecstasy in. Mingyu moaned against your skin, dick still twtiching inside of you as he thrusted slowly and gently, careful not to hurt the skin of your neck with his movements. Your blood was too good, too addicting and if he didn’t have plans to do this with you again sometime later, he would have drank every single bit of you right there.

The male moved his lips away from your neck as soon as he sensed your body turning weak, his grip on you got stronger careful to not drop you there on the table.

“Fuck kitten...Are you okay?” You nodded to his question but you really weren’t as healthy as you could be. The orgasm had been extremely intense for your weak body and you would be lying if you didn’t think you were going to pass out any time soon. “It’s okay, I got you” He muttered holding you against him, picking up the towel from the floor before picking you up bridal style. “Let’s go to my room, the smell of your blood will bring some unwanted company”

“I’ll keep you with me for as long as I can”

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thirsty4theextraordinary · 4 years

Text

Everything Burns- Chapter 3

Pairing: Ledger Joker X OC

Warnings: Mild violence, explosions, blood, fire.

Word count: 3,495 Previous Chapters: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 |

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Chapter 3 :Happy Birthday

When she woke in her own bed that morning, she was relieved. After her second encounter with Joker, she wondered if in fact any of it had been real, it was simply too good to be true. The reality of it was jarring but truly exhilarating and she stared up at the ceiling for a while, wondering what the brilliant but psychotic man was up to now.

She knew she had to keep her meetings with him a secret but she didn't exactly want to shout it from the rooftop anyway. Sighing at the strange, terrifying but most of all intoxicatingly addicting turn her life had taken she got up and wandered into the living room.

Something soft and warm brushed up against her leg and she looked down at the soft meowing of her cat, Puddin. She smiled and pulled her kitty up to her chest and the fluffy ball of fur immediately began to purr. She placed him down and gave him some more cat food, before searching through the fridge for something herself.

She gave up on it and simply poured herself some orange juice before slumping down in front of the TV and switching it on. She flipped through the channels not settling for long on anything until lunch came and she pushed herself out of her slump and into the kitchen for something to eat, though she didn't feel hungry and wanted to save her appetite for tonight.

As an afterthought, she texted Bruce to ask him to pick her up at 8. It wasn’t that Bruce wasn’t her friend, in fact he was her only friend. But that didn’t bother her as much as it would others. She had always found it difficult, people liked her but she didn’t really care for them. Beside after meeting the Joker most people, just seemed rather plain now. After eating a meagre breakfast she decided she would head out shopping for a while, she locked Puddin in and headed off down the road. She lived not far from the mall so decided to walk rather than take her bike.

She wandered aimlessly through the shops looking for anything that took her eye and then she spotted a beautiful black and nude coloured dress, it had a tight-fitting bodice that flared out at the bottom in a beautiful mermaid cut. She went into the shop and looked around. She never usually went into shops like this, they were usually far too expensive but it was her birthday and she had some savings she could spend.

"Hi, can I help you?" said the overly happy sales assistant.

"Oh umm yeah, I like that dress in the window," Scarlett says and the women-only nodded as she led Scarlett to where there were more.

"What size would you like," said the woman.

"Umm I don't really know, I've never been here before" Scarlett admitted.

"Well your quite thin but you have a few assets," said the woman motion to Scarlett's chest. She was clearly flattering Scarlett simply to sell to her before, but Scarlett followed her into the store none the less.

"I would say a medium would be good, as the bodice laces up so it should fit you like a glove," said the woman pulling the dress off the rack and heading over to the dressing room.

"You head in there and we can see what it looks like," said the woman and Scarlett smiled and took the dress from her.

It was a little snug at first but then like the woman said it fit like a glove, and it looked amazing. It made her feel beautiful and she stepped out of the dressing room to show the woman.

"Wow, that looks amazing and your hair looks great against the nude" she said and Scarlett smiled.

"I really like it and it fits so well and it is my birthday," said Scarlett spinning around to look at herself in the mirror. That's when she caught his reflection, a man stood just outside the doorway of the shop, he wore a hooded top pulled up over his head and so his face was hidden in shadow, but Scarlett swore she saw slither of green hair poke out the side of the hood. Surely not.

"So do you think? Do you want it? I have a really lovely pair of shoes that will go great" said the woman, pulling Scarlett out of her thoughts and away from the reflection of the man.

"Err yeah I think I'll take it," she stuttered looking back in the mirror but the man was gone and so she shook the thought from her head. She was clearly imagining things.

"How much is it?" Scarlett asked and the woman smiled.

"Six hundred and seven dollars"

Scarlett nearly chocked, there was no way she could afford this, she felt so silly, she was going to dinner with a billionaire that evening and she couldn't cough up $700 for a dress. But she was a nurse and that was hardly the best money around.

"Oh, I'm sorry I can't afford that," said Scarlett and the woman's happy demeanour immediately changed and she practically tore the dress off of Scarlett.

She felt humiliated as she made her way out of the shop and away. She would just have to go somewhere cheaper she was sure that she would find something as nice somewhere else, even if she had slightly fallen in love with that dress.

She made her way over to one of the chain stores and began her search through the racks, eventually, she found something she liked in a light blue spaghetti-strapped silky dress it was pretty and for $30 she could hardly complain, she bought some heels to match and headed home.

She took a bath shaved her leg and painted her nails, the usual and before long it was 7, so she applied her make-up, curled her hair and headed into the living room. Bruce was usually always a little late so she poured herself a drink and called in Puddin. At ten past the doorbell rang.

She stood from her seat and pick up her purse before pulling the door open. Bruce stood there a bunch of flowers in hand.

"Happy Birthday Scar," said Bruce happily and Scarlett smiled and took the flowers from him. Bruce was dressed very smartly and Scarlett couldn't deny he was a very handsome man, but he was a playboy and far too in love with Rachel to pay Scarlett any mind.

She ran the tap and filled a vase before placing the flowers inside.

"Thank you," she said turning back to Bruce and smiling.

"Your welcome, you look beautiful," he said and Scarlett smiled again, she supposed their relationship was more like brother and sister than anything else, but she didn't really mind.

"So where are we off to?" Scarlett asked as she grabbed her bag from the side and pulled on her jacket.

"Criterion," said Bruce and Scarlett smiled, she only been once before it was far too expensive for her, but Bruce owned it and so often told her dinner would be of no cost, but who would she even go with if not Bruce anyway.

The restaurant was heaving as per usual, there were plenty of rich people in Gotham to fill it. It was an unusually warm evening so Bruce escorted her to the private back garden dining area. There were only two other tables out there with people eating but both were on there the last course and so Scarlett assumed within an hour they would be alone in the warm evening air.

Bruce and Scarlett chatted for most of the night, she enjoyed Bruce's company he was a kind man and though she knew they were very different people, she still at times like this felt close to him. He was her only real friend and the closest thing to family she had.

"So do you want dessert," Bruce asked and Scarlett simply nodded smiling gleefully and Bruce chuckled before calling the waiter over.

They both ordered and soon the food came out, Scarlett knew they were getting preferential treatment, but she did love the service at this restaurant. The pair picked up their conversation easily over dessert but as Scarlett was about to speak, there was a loud ringing sound coming for inside Bruce's jacket pocket.

"Sorry," he said pulling the phone out before answering.

"Hello," he said and for a minute he said nothing before, he nodded.

"OK I'll be right there," he said before he hung up the call.

"Scarlett, I am so sorry, but I gotta go it's important, but I promise I will make it up to you, call a taxi put it on my tab, I'll sort it and don't worry about the bill here either," he said standing up and pulling on his coat.

She was bummed but she smiled nonetheless she understood Bruce was a businessman, the head of a business that owned nearly everything in Gotham he was bound to get called away at some point, but she was bummed it had happened on her birthday.

He kissed her cheek before setting off at a brisk pace back through the restaurant. Scarlett sighed before continuing to eat her dessert.

"All alone Jester?" came a voice and Scarlett heartbeat skyrocketed causing her brain to go fuzzy for a second, it was incredible how his voice alone seemed to send shock waves of euphoria through her system. Was it possible to be addicted to another human? Especially after only having met twice before.

"It's a shame your boyfriend had to leave," he said and she finally looked to him. That red smile and white face were just as she remembered, but he was now dressed in something new. He wore a long purple coat, a blue jacket underneath and purple trousers with a green waistcoat, tie and shirt.

"He's not my boyfriend, just my friend," she said as he jumped over the small wall separating the restaurants garden with the street.

"I'm loving the new look by the way," she said finding her courage as she began to feel that intoxicating warmth. It seemed to radiate off of him, like a nuclear reactor.

"Thanks, you scrub up well too, Jester" said Joker as he sat down heavily in the chair Bruce had just vacated. The other tables had left hours ago and Scarlett suddenly became very aware that she was once again alone with this man. Was this all in her head?

"Happy Birthday, Jester" said Joker poking at Bruce's leftover dessert with a spoon and Scarlett smiled, she dared not ask how he knew it was her birthday.

"Thanks" she muttered and he looked up at her, his dark brown eyes fixing on her greys.

"What happened to that beautiful smile of yours," he asked before he stood and moved around to her side of the table. She didn't know what to say and was frozen to the spot as he leaned over her, his hand coming around to grasp her chin tightly.

Instinctively Scarlett tried to pull her head back but his grip only tightened. He brought a knife up to her face and her heart rate increased, she was pretty sure she was going to die then and there. Then the feeling that overtook her, was like the most intense orgasm ever. She was not a kinky person, or at least she had never been before, but the cocktail of fear, exhalation, panic and excitement all mixed together was something that truly made her toes curl.

"Oh you kinky girl!" he said laughing wildly as he held her in place, clearly the feeling was showing on her face. This close he smelled of petrol and smoke and she couldn't help the grin that spread over her face.

"There's that smile," he said still holding her in place still, she laughed and he grinned.

"Why aren't you scared," he asked and she laughed again.

"I am, I'm absolutely terrified and it feels amazing. I think it’s you, something about you, you make me feel... alive" she moaned, smiling again.

"I could kill you" he assured her and she nodded, the blade millimetres away from her skin.

"I know, but when you feel this alive, death is not a concern," she explained and he cackled into hysterics.

"You're weird. I like it" he said smiling that yellow grin.

He pulled the knife away catching her on the retreat and causing a small gash along her jaw bone. She lifted a hand to her cheek and pulled it away only to stare at the blood it left there.

"Jester you're bleeding," he exclaimed, reaching forward and touching her cut, causing her to wince slightly. A look of worry past over his face for less than a split second and he pulled a tissue from his pocket and held it out to her. She smiled and took it from him.

"Thank you," she said and his face softened and for the first time since she had met him, he looked as though he was showing a real emotion. She held the tissue to her face and Joker seemed suddenly uneasy and little nervous.

"You're..." he began his face still soft but then he cut himself off and his usual grin filled his face.

"Come on Jester let's go have some fun," he said grabbing her hand and laughing crazily as he pulled her over the wall of the restaurant and down the street. She was having trouble keeping up and her dress kept wrapping its self around her ankles but she couldn't stop as the Joker continued to pull her down the street his speed constant. She couldn't keep the grin off her face, she hadn't felt like this ever in her life and she wondered if this was what true happiness really was.

He stopped suddenly in front of a large fountain of three prancing horses there was no one around and he turned to look at her before pulling a grenade from his pocket.

"Here," he said placing it in her hands. "Throw it at the fountain," he giggled smiling at her before he pulled the pin from the grenade and without much thought or question Scarlett launched the object it hit the middle horse and bounced into the water. Joker pulled her away quickly.

"5,4,3" The Joker chimed, just as the fountain exploded The Joker cackled and so did Scarlett.

"ah I love it when a plan goes wrong," he said cackling like the mad man he was.

"What do you wanna do now Jester, after all, it is your birthday," he said and Scarlett thought, and the images of the burning house and the screams came to her mind.

"I'd like to burn something down," she said warily, she hadn't lived out her desires for a long time.

"Oh I like your style," he said grabbing her hand again and taking off back down the street as sirens made there way towards the scene of the explosion.

He led her to the docks where the rich and the mob kept their expensive yachts. He let her choose one before throwing a flare at it and watching as it set ablaze.

She sat and watched the flames licking into the sky as the yacht began to sink and she smiled. The Joker stood next to her throwing more flares at more yacht and laughing all the time.

"So, you like fire huh," said The Joker as he sat down heavily next to her and she nodded her eyes not leaving the flames ahead.

"Care to explain?" he asked and she finally turned to look at him.

"It's hard to explain," she said and he shook his head.

"Tell me anyway."

She turned back to the flames. Though she had never told anyone before, she would tell him it was the least she could do after the night he had given her.

"I killed my father and step-mother when I was 18 by burning the house down with them inside, I barred up the doors and locked the windows and let them fry," she said before she turned to look at him and he seemed almost shocked.

"You're not as innocent as I thought," he said and she simply shook her head.

"He was a con artist and a drug baron, basically in control of all the heroin in Gotham and London. My mother was a good person and she went to the police to hand in evidence about him when I was a child and we were living in Gotham. My father was imprisoned. My mother and my mother’s friend were killed in front of me with a chainsaw, by a man my father paid to get revenge.

I was 4 years old and they chopped her up in front of me and left me in that shipping container for 2 days, covered in her blood, before the police found me. And when they did I was given to my father who had got out prison early with good behaviour, he took me back to England. I didn't remember what happened to my mother at all, and I didn't know it had been my father.

Not until I was 18, I overheard him talking with my stepmother one night, about how to plan things for the inside. That's when he admitted to planning and paying for my mother to be killed. After that I remembered everything, it all came flooding back to me. I could see the blood, I could hear the screams and I could smell the petrol of the chainsaw. So with them still both upstairs, I pulled the gas lead out the back of the oven and let it fill the house before I threw a match and watched it burn. I lived in foster care for a short while after that. The inheritance money was enough to put me through my nursing degree and buy my flat. After the fire, I never really thought about my mum. Not until the other day, when we met, something about that girl dying on me brought it all back again." Scarlett admitted her eyes back on the fire again, The Joker stared at her a strange look on his face.

"You did the right thing, I killed my father too when he killed my mom in front of me," said The Joker and Scarlett turned to him and smiled.

"Seems we have quite a bit in common don't we," said Scarlett and the Joker grinned.

"So how old are you now then, Jester?" he asked standing up and pulling a large plastic bag from his pocket, it was screwed up into a tight ball.

"A gentleman never asks a lady her age" Scarlett laughed and the Joker cackled.

"I never claimed to be a gentleman" he laughed and Scarlett grinned.

"28, you?" she replied finally and he grinned.

"30," he said and she nodded. There was silence for a second then he held the bag out to her and she took it warily. He looked nervous but it was only for a split second and as he sat back down a little further away from her than before, the look was gone.

She opened the bag and gasped, there, in a screw-up mess but completely undamaged other than the dirty fingerprints was the dress she had tried on in the shop. She pulled it out the bag and stood up, holding it against herself.

"How?" she asked and he giggled.

"I saw you try it on, and I overheard it was your birthday, and that you couldn't afford it. So I went back when they were shut and got it for you," he said simply not really looking at her, instead, he fiddled with his knife.

"Oh you are so wonderful, thank you" she sighed sitting back down next to him and placing a kiss on his cheek. He looked up but she was admiring her dress and didn't see his smile.

"You're really beautiful," he said looking at the woman sat next to him the flames framing her face and midnight hair beautifully.

Scarlett looked over and smiled. "Thank you handsome" she replied and he grinned. Scarlett was sure that if anyone had ever seen this side of The Joker before it was a long time ago, and she felt honoured he was showing it to her.

The moment was abruptly distorted as he cackled loudly.

"Well I gotta run gorgeous, but I'll see you around," he told her, jumping up from where he was sitting before taking off without another word. She knew it wouldn't last but she felt sad as she watched his retreating form disappear from sight. Yet she had a smile the whole way home.

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theres-no-protocol-for-this · 3 years

Text

Dinner and a Cat

The cat was nowhere to be seen when I got home that afternoon, and the back door was slightly ajar. I turned off the TV, put away groceries, and made myself a giant mug of hot chocolate.

Honestly, because I could.

A couple of friends had texted me while I’d been out, and I invited them over for dinner. Still, there was time to enjoy some delicious beverage in silence before I needed to start cooking. I wanted to savor the silence.

I work in the retail industry, and some people really have a thing about their morning drink. It’s scary, actually. It’s a coffee, lady. So, when I don’t have to work, I like spending my time with people and things that don’t turn into “Karen” at the slightest provocation.

A cool autumn breeze swept down the street as I stood on my front porch, cradling my mug like it was my first-born child. The forecast for the evening promised rain, which would quickly turn to snow — first of the season — so my mind wandered toward the cat. Would it end up spending the night outdoors? Worry settled in the pit of my stomach.

“If you’re out there, kitty, you’re welcome back anytime,” I said to no one in particular.

I mean, I talk to things. OK?

And a few minutes later, it hopped onto the porch as if summoned and sat on the welcome mat. In the daytime, it still looked like it could use about a month’s worth of decent meals, but when the black furball wasn’t shivering, it looked a lot more alive.

“Hey, buddy,” I said.

It hissed at me.

“Not a fan of ‘buddy,’ huh? Yeah, me neither. It doesn’t suit you.”

“Meow.”

“How about Kai? That was the name of my favorite cartoon character when I was a kid.”

“Meow.”

I nodded to myself. “For a cat, you’re basically a genius, so if you’re cool with it, I’m cool with it. I got some real chicken. I mean… I got cat food, obviously, but also actual chicken. I’ll make you some. It’ll probably taste better than kibble anyway.”

The cat got up from my welcome mat and walked into the house, at which point it walked around both floors once. I’d never seen a cat patrol its territory before; Tasha had been an entirely indoor cat. The idea of sharing with anyone had never crossed that kitten’s mind. Kai, on the other hand, took its sweet time and then settled down on the couch.

“Meow.”

Ah, right, the cat wants to watch Netflix. Good thing it doesn’t cost any extra to just have it going in the background all day. I restarted whatever drama was on — in Korean at that — and then headed to the kitchen.

***

Nat and Em came over around seven. By then, I’d cooked up a bit of a storm. I love cooking; it’s what I do when I need to relax. I am not much of an eater, though, so it was nice to have company over.

Nat’s a software engineer for a large aerospace company, and Emily basically performs magic with clay and her hands. We’ve known each other since we were in middle school, although we’d drifted apart when we all headed off to different colleges. It was sheer luck that all three of us now lived in the state and had time to see each other occasionally.

The doorbell rang, and Kai sat up like it was expecting trouble.

“It’s my friends,” I told it — like it was important for the weird furball to know who was at the door.

I wiped my hands clean on an apron and sprinted to let whoever it was in. Natalie Gomez stood on the other side, stunning as always. It doesn’t matter what the woman wears; she always looks like she’s got her shit together. That evening, Nat was wearing a fancy turtleneck sweater and hip-hugging jeans. And she has a lot of beautiful hips in need of hugging.

“Love the sweater,” I said as I gestured for her to come inside. We hugged because she’s a hugger, and there’s no escape. “How’s it going?”

“Eh, you know. Same shit, different day. Oh my god, your place smells amazing.”

I let go, and she bounced inside. Shrugging, I muttered, “You know me. Stress cooking.”

“Yeah, but you’re talented. And I’m not just saying that, either. Hey, looks like you got a new cat.”

I closed the door and followed Nat into the living room. “More like, it adopted me last night. I don’t think it’s dangerous, but maybe give it some space.”

“Does he bite?”

“I don’t even know that it’s a ‘he,’ honestly.” I grabbed a bottle of wine out of the fridge. “Want a glass of um… something red?”

The brown-eyed engineer came over and leaned against the cabinets. “Shit, yes, please. Sorry, it’s been a week. We’re releasing a new product, and that’s always stressful.”

“Well, take a seat, drink some wine, and food should be done in minutes.”

Nat accepted the offered glass and took a gulp. “What about you? How’s Iris doing?”

“Uh, just doing… I guess.” Mom had been on my mind all day, but I wasn’t going to ruin the evening talking about stuff I couldn’t change. “Work’s been busy, and I think I need to make time to go see my family this holiday season.” I tried a smile on for size. “But you know, good stuff, too. I got the library internship, and that starts in a week.”

“Good for you! I remember you gushing about that. I’m so glad everything worked out. Are you still going to work at the cafe?”

I frowned. “I’m not sure, to be honest. The money’s better at the cafe, but I can’t work eighty hours a week, either.”

“No, you can’t. And you have got to take care of you.” Nat smiled. “Look, even Mr. or Mrs. Kitty thinks so.”

Kai had gotten up from its comfy perch on the couch and came over to sit by my feet. I looked down at the curious furball and said, “I bet you’re hungry. How about some seared chicken?”

I’d always cooked for Tasha because I like cooking, and my princess of a cat had enjoyed eating the food I made. I remember spending hours on Google, looking at cat-friendly recipes. After I’d first adopted Tasha, Dr. Hopkins spent a week straight reassuring me that cats were carnivores and could survive on a steady supply of live mice.

So, cooking for Kai was pretty much a matter of pulling out the old recipe book, picking something that sounded interesting, and then making it happen. I arranged the food on a long, narrow plate and set it down on the floor in a kitchen corner, away from us humans. The furball sniffed at the food and then went for it.

“You said it adopted you?” Nat gestured at the cat with her wine glass.

“Something like that. I mean, it was out on my porch last night, and it’s come back into the house a couple of times now.”

“I think you should go back to the shelter and get yourself another pet.”

“I keep thinking about it, and I don’t know, I’m just not home enough to really give a pet the love it deserves.”

“I thought cats were independent,” said the human who never actually had any pets and didn’t want them. Nat had her husband and her girlfriend, and that was enough for her.

I shrugged. “I mean, this sweetheart, maybe. Most cats need at least some attention.”

From the corner, the cat hissed at me like it knew I’d called it a sweetheart. The doorbell rang again, and Nat waved at me to stay put. “I’ll get it. It’s probably Emily.”

A few moments later, a familiar wan face appeared in the kitchen doorframe. Sammy, age three, followed by his mother, Emily, who looked absolutely beat. I knew she worked crazy hours during the fall semester — she taught at a local art college, made pottery, and volunteered for a local nonprofit. And she had a little boy she was raising by herself.

“Hey, Sammy!”

“Good evening, Miss Iris,” said the polite, dark-eyed kiddo. “Ooh, kitty.”

“Can you do me a huge favor?” I asked the little boy.

“Yeah!”

“Can you give kitty a little space tonight? It’s shy.”

Kai hissed at me again but didn’t budge from its food. The boy looked at the cat, all wide-eyed and interested, but his mom put a hand on his shoulder. I handed Emily a glass of wine and gave her a mercifully brief hug. I hadn’t seen Em for the better part of two months, and I suspected she needed a girls’ night out.

“Thanks,” the redhead whispered.

I gave her a thumbs up and checked on the oven. “Well, dinner is basically done. Why don’t you three get comfortable on the couch, and I’ll bring over the tasty, tasty food.”

“Let me give you a hand,” Nat offered. “Meanwhile, Em can tell us all about her students this semester.”

From the living room, Emily groaned. “Don’t get me started. I swear college students nowadays can’t get their noses out of their cellphones long enough to look at fine art.”

I dished up some steamed and seasoned vegetables onto individual plates. I also decorated Sam’s plate while his mother regaled us with her horror stories. Kai finished its dinner but hung around the kitchen, not quite underfoot. I wondered if it didn’t like all the extra company. Tasha had been the star of the show, but I’d met shy cats before; not every animal liked being around humans it didn’t know.

We sat on the floor around the coffee table in the living room and had dinner. Nat shared with us some of her latest hiking adventures. Sammy demonstrated his ability to count to ten. Emily cheered him on. The cat settled down on the floor beside me, close enough that I could feel its warm presence, and stayed there for the duration of the evening.

For a brief moment, I could forget the troubles that haunted my waking hours and just enjoy some pleasant conversation.

And then, life went to hell, starting with the burglar-wanna-be.

#fiction #maybe its fanfiction #kitties afoot

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thebibliomancer · 4 years

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Essential Avengers: Avengers #216: “... To Avenge the Avengers!”

February, 1982

"Avenge us, Tigra! The Molecule Man must die!”

Eesh, the Avengers plus Silver Surfer have gone full Hamlet’s Dad on Tigra and she’s gonna cat Molecule Man and his plush himself to death. But he’s ready for it.

But why? Well...

Last time: Silver Surfer inadvertently gave Molecule Man the idea to eat Earth. The Avengers and the Surfer teamed up to stop him but he just Molecule Manned their sweet gear into nothing, captured them all, and then stomped them under a giant boot-o-matic crusher! Except Tigra who he kept around because he wanted someone to talk at and because Tigra had claimed that she liked him!

This time: “Tigra... the Last Avenger!”

Nice touch that the book name inside the book has been changed to match even if the cover hasn’t.

That is a tough hat to wear. Did you know its only been a little over a week since she joined the team?

And in that time she got thrown into space by an Elf-Queen, watched a founding Avenger have an emotional breakdown and try to kill his friends to make them like him again, had her soul set on fire, been repeatedly harassed in public, and watched the whole team be killed with her life only being spared because she begged for her life!

Is this the worst week and change in Avengers history? IT MIGHT WELL BE!

“She was spared. The fear of death has drained away now, leaving only emptiness behind. She has never felt so alone.”

This narration set in the same panel where Molecule Man is all but slapping the giant boot and going ‘this bad boy can crush so many fucking Avengers in it.’

Well really, its more like

Molecule Man: “Well, cat-lady, they’re dead! Captain America, Iron Man, Thor, and that Silver Surfer guy -- squished flat by my giant boot-o-matic crusher! You know, I made this thing out of molecules from a scrapyard! Yessir, I believe in recycling!”

But that’s about the same level of dissonance between jolly goofus villain rambling and hollow despair.

Anyway, Molecule Man calls her out on being such a bummer because she’s moping over there when he’s feeling good about killing the Avengers and really Tigra try to consider how he feels geez.

So she shakes off the despair and asks hey what exactly is Molecule Man going to do with her?

Tigra: “Am I going to be your mate or...”

Molecule Man: “What? Nah! I never got along with girls! I mean, you know... that way! Yessir, mom always warned me about... that! And she was right! You can be my friend! No! Make that -- my pet! Here, kitty, kitty!”

Wow.

That. That dodged a bullet in a cool Matrix bullet time way right into another bullet.

Let’s please not get too creepy with this, huh? You listening to me, comic published nearly forty years ago? Let’s not get creepy!

Molecule Man decides to be a responsible pet owner and feed his pet. He can control molecules so obviously it should be no trouble to just rearrange them into any configuration he--

Okay, its apparently really hard to make food! Way too complicated!

He’s going to be an irresponsible pet owner and not feed Tigra. And meanwhile he’s going to chow down on some undifferentiated mush or possibly a pile of dust. Its all molecules so its all the same to him.

Tigra didn’t even want food but asks him where the bathroom is.

Molecule Man: “Bathroom? Hmm... well, I really don’t understand how plumbing works, so I couldn’t make a bathroom! If you want, though, I could sort of fake it...”

Tigra: “No, I’ll be all right! i just feel a little sick...”

Molecule Man: “So go be sick for a while! I’ve got to get started on my little project anyway! If I’m going to eat this stupid planet -- I’ve got to prepare by clearing away all the living things from a few square miles of land.”

And he gets started! A giant ridge of land just peels up from the ground, like Molecule Man is skinning a fruit before eating. Also a volcano erupts. Pretty sure there weren’t any volcanoes in New Jersey before now.

Fairly sure.

Outside the dome, thankfully the army has been evacuating everyone in a fifty-mile radius or else a lot of people would be dead. VOLCANO.

Then the Fantastic Four arrive.

Yayyyyy! Oh whoa whoa, Fantastic Fourrr!

They’ve got the best Molecule Man mashing record so they’re here to do what they do do.

Which in this context is fail like champs.

Ben Grimm the Thing tries to shatter the dome with a punch and no dice. Then Human Torch cranks up to nova flame and applies the heat of a sun on one little spot on the dome.

Johnny about wears himself out doing it and still no result.

Guess Iron Man, Thor, and Silver Surfer > a pinpoint miniature sun.

Meanwhile inside, Molecule Man tells Tigra hey get a load of this. And then he levitates a couple billion gallons of water from the Delaware River and dumps it on the Fantastic Four, plus the army, washing them away.

Invisible Woman: “Reed, it -- it doesn’t seem possible!”

Mr. Fantastic: “Everything is made of molecules, Sue! Anything is possible for the Molecule Man!”

Molecule Man far too hax.

But meanwhile, gasp, the Avengers weren’t actually all killed in a book with their name on it! This is unprecedented!

And Silver Surfer is ready to explain their unlikely survival of giant crushing boot.

See, Silver Surfer wasn’t quite as knocked unconscious as the three Avengers so he played possum. When Molecule Man put the Avengers plus Silver Surfer in the crushing boot and when it was just about to crush, Silver Surfer used the Power Cosmic to disintegrate the bottom part of the boot so that the Avengers and him fell to a lower floor. Completely uncrushed!

So that’s good.

The bad is that Silver Surfer has to report that Tigra is still in Molecule Man’s clutches.

The awkward is that Iron Man and Thor lost their armor and hammer respectively so Cap is like ‘wait, what are Tony Stark and Perfectly Normal Dr. Donald Blake doing here??’

So Tony and Don come clean about his secret ID.

Tony Stark, Actually Iron Man: “I feel a little foolish about keeping that secret from you till now! I’m sure Don feels the same way...”

Donald Blake, Dr. Thor: “Right, Tony...”

So now Cap is in on the secret which previously bound Tony and Don together as the Best Friends Avengers Who Aren’t Beast and Wonder Man.

Remember when they discovered each other’s secret IDs? Good times. Well, weird times. That was the issue when that hates-robots group suicide bombed Vision for dating a meat woman.

Also, Tony was only wearing underwear under the Iron Man armor so Don gave him his suit jacket to wear as a loincloth. Mighty nice of him.

Silver Surfer has just been standing on the sides not caring about all this secret ID nonsense or personal drama so he chimes in to point out that Molecule Man is going to eat the planet unless they stop him.

Cap decides that he and the Surfer have to strike before Molecule Man realizes they’re alive. Tony and Don have the important mission to hide somewhere safe.

Tony and Don object to being sidelined. Strongly.

Tony: “You think Iron Man is just a suit of armor, Cap? Is that what you’re saying?”

Don: “I found this rod to use as a makeshift cane! It won’t change me into a thunder god, but it’ll help me get around -- if only to draw fire!”

Tony: “Like it or not, we’re with you!”

Don: “The Avengers stand assembled, Captain America! Now, lead us!”

Cap: “All right! I get the message! I should have known better than to think you’d -- I mean, you two are the best...”

Tony: “Save it, Cap! We’ve got work to do!”

Aww.

This is everything I could have hoped for out of secret ID reveal. Cap starts thinking of them as civilians now that they have real person names but ultimately it brings them closer as teammates.

I love it. Granted, I love it because my favorite form of Avengers is a group of friends and set of interpersonal dramas roughly shaped like a superhero team.

Later, in the nighttime and in the room that Molecule Man made for Tigra.

... Wow, Molecule Man.

Wow.

So we’ve got a giant cat shaped bed. A giant, terrifying cat head on the wall. And a giant ball of yarn. But not giant sized cat tree? Fie and shame.

Anyway, Tigra is sitting on bed lamenting and decrying the Fantastic Four’s failure. Especially as it pertains to her situation.

Tigra: “I -- I just can’t believe the Fantastic Four failed! How could they let me -- and the world down like that? How could they? Right now, Reed Richards is probably locked in his lab trying to invent a gizmo that’ll pierce the dome! Hmf! Who knows how long that might take? The Molecule Man plans to eat the Earth tomorrow morning!”

Nothing like a nice filling breakfast, I guess.

She grants that Reed doesn’t know there’s an everyone’s-deadline so instead Tigra bemoans that it’s all up to her.

Tigra: “I should have tried to jump him today! I can’t believe I didn’t! I was standing right next to him a couple of times! I’m cat-quick! Why didn’t I lunge at him and claw him to shreds before he could move? Could it be because my muscles felt like jelly -- ? I was trembling -- ? In shock -- ? Afraid of him? Hey, shouldn’t I be? I mean, I saw him crush my friends to a bloody smear! And I had a spooky feeling that he was somehow, secretly ready for an attack -- and hoping I’d give him an excuse to dice me into furry cubes!”

And because this is a Tigra character beat page, she also thinks about how easy the hero gig used to seem when it was for smaller stakes. But with the actual literal fate of the world at stake... “I never thought that when the big test came I’d be a scaredy cat!”

But she remembers what Cap said during the Ghost Rider story that its not wrong to be frightened if you don’t let fear dictate your actions.

So she creeps out into the night to Molecule Man’s bedroom.

Oh, that’s a neat touch.

Her shadow on the wall looks a lot like a tiger because her hair curls at the end like a tail.

Neat.

So anyway, she doesn’t understand how Molecule Man can be so confident that he’s just sleeping with his door wide open and with no defenses and wonders if there’s a trap or whether he’s just counting on her to think that there’s a trap.

She’s about five seconds from a full-blown I know you know that I know that you know episode.

The only way to find out is just go for it so she creeps into the room. The garish room.

This is even more wow than Tigra’s room.

But as she creeps into the room and up to the enormous, ridiculous bed, she realizes that she has to kill him. If she attacks and doesn’t kill him with the first strike, what he could do is too horrible for her to imagine.

But what she doesn’t realize is that Molecule Man isn’t sleeping soundly and isn’t unprepared.

He’s stretched monomolecular filaments across the room, too thin for even Tigra to spot.

Now usually monomolecular filaments is one of those ‘oops I’ve been cut to pieces by invisible wires’ thing. You’ve probably seen it in a couple of anime. But this is more like a bunch of cans on a string.

Tigra breaks one of the filaments while she creeps forward. Something that she couldn’t possibly know but which instantly alerts him.

And his response is a “Oh, ho! Just wait’ll she tries it! This’ll be fun!”

Because Tigra’s instinct was correct. Molecule Man was keeping her around just to kill when she finally tried anything. Its been a game. See how far he can push Tigra and how messily he can deal with her when she loses.

This is pretty tense stuff! Well, it lasts a page so it doesn’t overfocus on this specific tense scenario but still!

Tigra: “I’m in range! All I’ve got to do is spring and... and kill him! He murdered my friends! He’s going to destroy the whole world! I’ve got to kill him! Come on, lady! Do it! What’s wrong? He deserves it! He’s a murderer -- ! A rotten little wimp! He calls you ‘kitty’! Kill him! I hate him! I hate him! but... i just can’t kill him!”

And apologizing to Cap for not being able to go through with it, she slinks out of the room trying to think of another way.

Inside the room, Molecule Man sits up disgruntled, just not understanding at all why she didn’t go through with it. There’s no way she could have known that he was ready for her so why wouldn’t she try to do a murder!

And then as Tigra is wishing she had someone to talk to, someone grabs her and pulls her around a corner.

Boom, a comedy after all that one page of tension.

And it’s Cap because there’s like four people it could have been.

Tigra is elated that the Cap is alive, that she’s not alone anymore! And she tries to confess that she attempted to kill Molecule Man to avenge the Avengers. That maybe she should have because now she might lose them again!

Tony: “You did fine, Tigra! Relax!”

But she doesn’t feel like she did fine so she tries to explain that she let the Avengers down by giving into cowardice. She told Molecule Man she liked him to stay alive.

Cap: “Good strategy, Tigra -- preserving your life so you’d be able to carry on the battle!”

She tries to explain it wasn’t strategy so much as being terrified but she gets distracted because she’s just realized that in this group of Cap and Silver Guy there’s two people she doesn’t know.

Cap: “Dr. Don Blake, who’s secretly Thor and Tony Stark who is Iron Man’s alter ego!”

Her mood immediately flips.

Tigra: “You guys are really Thor and Iron Man? Really? And it’s okay for me to know? Really?”

Tony Stark: “Why not? Somehow those secrets seem pretty trivial, what with the world on the verge of being the Molecule Man’s breakfast!”

He says that but he still looks pretty annoyed at Cap just blurting it out.

And geez, Cap, you gotta let people reveal their own secret identities. Or make up some dumb excuse that everyone instantly believes.

Its the done thing.

In terms of Avengers drama though this is pretty good. Thor, Cap, and Iron Man have been working together for a really long time. Even though Cap didn’t form the Avengers he’s basically been there so long they consider him an honorary founder.

Cap learning Iron Man and Thor’s secret identities can be a ‘we should have told you sooner!’ thing.

Tigra just joined the team! Like a week ago!

They need to work together now and there’s probably no smooth lie that could paper over where Iron Man and Thor went and why these two are here now but its probably still a little galling that Cap just blurts it out to the newest person on the team.

Its great. I’d love to see the repercussions of this.

Anyway, time is short so Tony gets to explaining the plan.

He found his broken armor and managed to scavenge enough bits and pieces to make a little device he’s calling a screamer. It’ll emit a high-pitched noise that should disorient Molecule Man.

And then the device just poofs into smoke in Tony’s hand.

Whoops, Molecule Man overheard their plan to beat up Molecule Man and also heard Tony call him names.

So he pulls together all the loose dust in the room and uses it to strangle Tony.

Wow, they’ve gone from having a “layered assault” to watching someone literally choke on Molecule Man’s dust. That’s got to be the quickest turnaround from hope to nope.

Tigra goes wild, rushing at Molecule Man and screaming that she shoulda killed him before and she’s damn well going to scratch his face off now!

But Molecule Man asks her to talk to the hand. Zing.

Puns.

Although “Don’t scream at me, Kitty! ‘Cause I’ll slap you down!”

Sure. That’s good wordplay too.

Having just been comedically (although seriously) WHAP!’d across the room, Tigra has her own words to say.

Tigra: “You -- you weak, slimy excuse for a human being! How could I have stooped so low as to humble myself to garbage like you? So you’ve got power! Big deal! You were a nerd before -- you’re still a nerd! You were a mistake! You shouldn’t even have been born! You crybaby! All you do is blame the world for your own inedequacy! Go on, kill me, nerd! I despise living in the same world with you!”

Wow. She really took all those personal details he shared and slapped him upside the head with them.

Goes to show. Don’t try to destroy the world. People will have rude things to say.

Meanwhile, Cap and Silver Surfer are trying to save Tony but can’t clear the super condense dust faster than Molecule Man gathers it.

Cap tells Tigra to get Molecule Man because that’s their only chance but Tigra is too hurt from being slapped by a giant hand.

Molecule Man: “I’ve got to hand it to you guys, it must’ve taken some doing to escape my crusher! This time, I’m going to make sure you’re dead! Hmm... someone’s missing! But who?”

And he’s done process of elimination and realized that the guy Thor turned into is missing and figures he ran away when Entirely Normal But Furious Dr. Donald Blake tells Molecule Man to grit his teeth.

And then Molecule Man runs off yelling because Dr. Donald Blake can throw down. He possibly broke Molecule Man’s nose with that one punch.

Good job, Dr. Donald Blake.

With Molecule Man not focusing on the dust thing, Tony is free of the dust thing but unconscious. Dr. Donald Blake tells the others that he’ll take care of Tony and that they should go chase Molecule Man since they can run better than he can.

So Cap, Tigra, and Silver Surfer go off in pursuit of Molecule Man.

Silver Surfer reminds that he can track Molecule Man’s unique energies. Cap helpfully points out that they can also just track the trail of blood drips from Molecule Man’s nose. And Tigra goes ‘also I can smell him’ because its good to have three different ways to find a guy.

They find him in some sort of throne room (curled up in pain on the throne) and charge at him. But he’s not in the mood for their shenanigans.

So he sends a tidal wave of molecules at them.

Cap shouts for Silver Surfer to do something and he does do something indeed.

The Surfer blasts the wave of matter with the power cosmic so hard that it transmutes into raw energy and just explodes through the top of the palace in a beautiful pyrotechnic display.

It also completely exhausts the Surfer and he just kind of plops down for a nap right there on the ground.

Cap tells Tigra to watch the Surfer and then goes to take the Molecule Man on alone.

This isn’t a great plan but also their already small roster has kind of dwindled to this point.

And maybe Cap sort of doesn’t want to throw Tigra at Molecule Man when she’s already been hurt and was voicing all those doubts earlier. Can’t say for sure. She’s about to offer for help but Cap is like ‘WHOOPS NOW OR NEVER!’

Molecule Man must be in a whimsical mood, I mean more so than usual have you seen what he’s been getting up to? Because he converts some of the furnishings into a bunch of stars to shoot at Cap.

Its funny because Cap wears a star. It’d be ironic if he got smacked in the face with one, probably.

But Molecule Man activated Cap’s speechifying and that buffs him because nobody likes hearing Cap talk about freedom and justice and doing right more than Cap probably.

What I’m saying is that he leaps and gambols between the stars and I feel its because he has Stuff To Say that he’s doing so well.

Cap: “You make me sick, mister! They say power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely, and you’re living proof of it! You might kill me! After all, I’m just an ordinary man -- but men like me have always found a way to bring high-and-mighty tyrants like you to their knees! There’s never enough power to save madmen like you -- from ultimate, bitter defeat!”

WAK!

And perhaps it wasn’t just his agility that was improved by inspirational speeching himself. Because he knocks Molecule Man down with that one punch and he doesn’t get back up.

Or maybe Molecule Man just has a glass jaw.

Don Blake and Tony Stark show up and Silver Surfer wakes up but he runs in with the rest anyway for some reason. Tony tells Tigra to watch Molecule Man while he has an Important Debate with Cap.

See, Tony has realized something. Knocking down Molecule Man is just the first step. If Molecule Man gets back up, he might start eating the Earth again and the Avengers might not be able to stop him.

So he asks Don Blake if there’s a medical way to just sort of keep Molecule Man knocked out.

Don Blake: “How? We can’t just keep hitting him on the head -- this isn’t a T.V. show! I mean, how hard do you hit him? How many times can you do that before causing serious brain damage... or death?”

Realism? In a comic book? What are YOU doing here??

Anyway, Tony doesn’t see any other option but to kill Molecule Man.

Cap protests that Molecule Man is a human being with rights to due process and a trial by jury of his peers!

But Tony is convincing the others. As an Actual Doctor, Don Blake doesn’t like to hear this. He wants to save lives. But he can’t refute Tony.

And Silver Surfer also seems on Team Tony.

Silver Surfer: “I understand what it is to sacrifice one life so that a multitude, a world might live! It seems clear that this Molecule Man cannot be imprisoned or held in check! He... must die to save the Earth... though I could never bring myself to slay him!”

Don’t you have the power cosmic? Surely there’s a power cosmic option available?

To be fair though his the power cosmic might be exhausted at the moment.

Still. Geez, Silver Surfer. ‘He gotta die but 1-2-3-not-it’ is really how you’re playing this??

Meanwhile, Tigra has decided that being asked to watch Molecule Man implies a certain duty perhaps even responsibility to tell him how much he sucks. Which is a lot.

And recall that she’s already told him how much he sucks earlier in the fight. So she has found a second wind in telling him how much he sucks.

Tigra: “You little jerk! Don’t you see? Cap was wrong! Power very seldom corrupts! It usually doesn’t change anything! It just magnifies what’s already there, whether it’s good and noble or evil and petty!”

“You were a nerd before... now you’re a powerful nerd! Big deal! Dummy! The shame of it is that with your power you can build... you can contribute! You don’t have to be a loser anymore!”

“Why are you such a fool? Why can’t you see that killing a planetful of people doesn’t make you even -- it just make you lonelier than ever!”

Wow. It feels like Tigra could hypothetically be talking about all different kinds of entitled nerds who then become the jerks as adults!

Anyway.

Tony and Cap are still arguing.

Tony, at least, isn’t going to ask someone to do something he wouldn’t do himself. I.e., he’s going to kill Molecule Man himself and save four billion people.

Cap: “Tony... please! I can’t let you do this!”

Tony: “You can take me in for murder afterward, Cap, but for now, stand aside! I’m warning you...”

Cap: “You’ll have to go through me, Tony...”

You’re warning him, Tony? You don’t have armor. You don’t even have pants. What are you going to do to supersoldier Captain America?

Logic aside, what strikes me is how much this foreshadows.

Before Civil War contrived that superhero registration, the big hot button superhero debate issue is whether superheroes should kill in extreme circumstances.

Spoilers for the NINETIES but the Regular and West Coast Avengers will come to schism and Cap and Iron Man will basically break up over whether or not to kill the Kree Supreme Intelligence after it engineered a war that killed 90% of the Kree people on purpose.

Shooter is long gone by that point but I guess someone is going to pick up the thread.

Because the debate doesn’t get settled here or rather does, sorta, in favor of Cap but not in a way he expects.

Interrupting the sad fist fight between Cap and a nearly naked man, Molecule Man pops up and tells everyone that Tigra has convinced him to turn his life around.

Tigra: “Guys, Mr. Owen Reece and I have talked, and, well, I convinced him to give himself up!”

Mr. Owen Reece: “Yes, I want to start seeing a therapist!”

Cap: “huh?”

Mr. Owen Reece: “I know I’ll have to go to jail... but that’s okay! It’ll give me time to think things out! I’ll make an opening in the dome now so you can call the authorities!”

Don Blake: “s-sure!”

God, that is just great. I love this as a resolution so much. This is a resolution that Squirrel Girl would bring us, although we’d get more of the actual convincing.

Still very, very good. Good to be optimistic in comics sometimes. Sometimes villains can seek redemption if only a cat yells at them long enough.

Although I think the best part is how baffled everyone is by the plot twist.

So with but a “Soon...” caption, the police have come to pick up Mr. Owen Reece and brought Miss Hanrahan who is going to be his therapist.

Holy crap, a therapist in Marvel who isn’t Doc Sampson but will work with superpowered nonsense!

Can we bring Miss Hanrahan back??

A couple things I like here.

One is that Mr. Owen Reece has changed off-panel into a suit instead of his supervillain costume. Now that’s him making an honest effort.

Two is Very Annoyed Tony Stark in the back of the pack of Avengers. He’s wearing a handkerchief as a mask because someone might recognize him as Tony Stark and then wonder ‘hey why is Tony Stark here.’

Three is the proud smile from Tigra when seeing Mr. Owen Reece meet his therapist.

Melts my heart a little.

Before he goes away to jail, Mr. Owen Reece takes a quick sidebar with the Avengers.

He retroactively feels just awful about ruining their various gadgets so he decides to make right.

He reintegrates Mjolnir, Toomie the surfboard, and Cap’s shield exactly as they were. Original molecules and all! They were so weird that he remembered where they all went.

As for Iron Man’s Iron Man armor.... look, he did his best.

Mr. Owen Reece: “But your armor, with all those complicated electronic gadgets is just too tricky for me to reassemble! You needed something more proper to wear till you get home, though -- so I whipped up some red and gold cloth and made you an Iron Man leisure suit! I hope it’s okay!”

Amazing. Simply incredible.

Although I think my favorite part was Mr. Owen Reece realizing ‘hey Iron Man should be wearing pants!’

Anyway, he also takes apart his Molecule Man Doom Fortress and puts those molecules back where he found them. More or less. He tries.

And, yes, he does rebuild the entire town of Netcong, New Jersey. Except the plumbing.

In a funny call back to Reece admitting he doesn’t really understand plumbing, none of the plumbing in the rebuilt town works.

Later, back at Avengers Mansion, Silver Surfer is offered a spot on the team but turns it down.

FOR THE PATHS OF DESTINY DO BECKON HIM DOWN A LONELY ROAD THAT MUST BE TRAVELED ALONE

Its the only who he has ever known. Except for all the time he spend with Galactus. Or the Defenders. Or later on when he has a companion to take on space nonsense.

Tigra also takes this time to say farewell.

Tigra: “I’m just not in the same league as you guys! I mean, sure I’ve got lots of super-ability, and, usually, I'm even pretty heroic -- but not up to your standard! I mean two of you, without your powers, no less, really showed me what it’s all about back there! And let’s face it, you guys mess with some heavy-duty opposition! I think I’ll quit while I’m ahead!”

Noooooooooo

But but but Tigraaa you were a source of joy and fuuuuuuuun

You only joined at the end of #211! It’s only been about a week in-universe!

Darn.

The three other Avengers all say their goodbyes.

Thor reminds her that she was the one who turned around Mr. Owen Reece but Tigra says she got lucky.

Iron Man gives her one of Tony Stark’s cards and tells her to call Tony Stark who is definitely not him anytime she needs anything.

Jarvis even tears up at her leaving, although he denies it because a good butler never dies on duty and then blames his allergies.

And then Tigra is off. Damn. If I didn’t know who might be joining the Avengers soon I’d be completely inconsolable instead of just very.

So now the Avengers are down to just three members. That’s not a team. That’s a crossover. Probably why Jarvis wonders if a membership drive is in order.

NEXT: The return of... Yellowjacket, the Wasp, and Egghead!

I’m game for Wasp coming back! Don’t think it likely that Yellowjacket is just going to come back to the team just like that! And Egghead? The villain who blew up a city with a killsat and killed Hawkeye’s brother? Unlikely recruit!

(No I know that’s not what the NEXT means)

Hey, follow @essential-avengers because the Hank Pym just keeps happening. Like and reblog too please. Be sad with me that Tigra is gone.

#Avengers #Molecule Man #Tigra #Captain America #Iron Man #Thor #Silver Surfer #essential avengers #essential marvel liveblogging #Tigra the Last Avenger #would be a good name for a book #Molecule Man is bad at bathrooms and being nice #never before has a flimsier plan so immediately fallen apart #the Fantastic Four have a brief cameo and they don't enjoy it

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vagrantblvrd · 4 years

Note

mavinwood with werecat michael would be love

Oh my God, yesssss.

Just like.

Werecat Michael who never admits to being a werecat?

He’s careful with who he tells and everything because people tend to react badly when they realize the world’s weirder than they thought? That there are things and such out there science and logic can’t explain away and also hey, you know. Think twice before inviting some stranger you met at a club inside because vampires are real and that bit is true and anyway, tangent.

So.

Werecat!Michael who is just. So very Michael about being a werecat?

The whole bit with werewolves and other creatures and the lunar cycle isn’t completely untrue - but it doesn’t control their lives. They might get a bit more restless, short-tempered and so on closer to the full moon because it messes with their heads a little but it’s not like the movies say.

But, again, tangent.

Once he learns he can trust the Fakes with what he is he doesn’t bother trying to hide his secret from them but he also doesn’t outright tell them.

Because why would he, is the thing.

Sure, it’s partly to fuck with them because they’re all assholes and he’s no different. Also, it just never occurs to him to do so because it’s not all that important in the grand scheme and such?

Like oh, hey. Sure he can shift forms and turn into a cat pretty much at will, but it’s not like that means anything. (Can’t fucking use a gun or a knife without opposable thumbs - well, okay, there are probably ways around that but a cat would look pretty dumb like that so whatever.)

Anyway, anyway.

Michael who goes about his life like everything’s normal (and to be fair for him it is?) and every so often he just turns into a cat because why the fuck not?

It fucks with his mood when he doesn’t shift forms for a while, has him snapping and snarling more Makes him meaner when he doesn’t have to be or even wants to be.

So.

He runs around as a cat, wanders the city at night and the whatnot. Sniffs around the borders of the crew’s territory to make sure things are alright there. (None of their rivals getting greed or ambitious or whatever.)

Snoops around to see if he can pick up anything interesting in the way of rumors and such to bring back to the crew if it has anything to do with them.

Run around just to run around, kitty parkours his way around the city’s rooftops and alleyways and all that until he runs the restlessness that tends to build up when he’s in his human form for long out of his system.

Before he met Gavin and Ryan he used to go back to the little place he keeps in a quiet neighborhood when he doesn’t feel like using the rooms at the penthouse. (Spent too much time around the others and needs some quiet or whatever the hell and it’s just. Nice, you know, having a place of his own that isn’t a shitty little apartment now he can afford better and all that.)

But he did meet Gavin, and Ryan and it’s just.

Christ, those assholes.

Gavin’s one of Burnie’s people that Geoff poached right under his nose years ago. (Burnie and Geoff bicker about it to this day like an old married couple and goddamn they need to figure their shit out because it’s sad watching them pretend they’re not head over heels for one another, but tangent? Tangent.)

Ryan’s this creepy bastard Michael met way back when. Way before the Fakes, before the whole Mogar thing started or Los Santos heard about the Vagabond.

This idiot on a roof with a sniper rifle in the dead of winter - as much of one as Los Santos ever got, but it was particularly cold that winter. Snow and everything and this idiot, this goddamned moron wearing all black on a snow covered roof of all fucking things.

(Sure, sure, not like anyone could see him from that angle, what with him being on the tallest building around but Jesus Christ, okay.)

He was careful about it back then because who the hell knew if the idiot was the sort to hurt an animal for shits and giggles, but he couldn’t not investigate.

(It always pays to know as much as you can when it comes to what goes on in Los Santos, including idiots like this guy.)

Lucky him (or not, depending on how you look at it), Ryan’s not the sort to hurt animals.

Seemed surprised to see a stupid cat prowling around and started talking to him, because he’d been on that roof or a while before Michael came along. Got bored.

Talked to Michael like he could understand him, which odd but not unusually so? (Some people are just like that, which. Whatever. Means Michael hears things he wouldn’t normally and that suits him fine.)

Ryan isn’t dumb enough to talk about why he’s up on that roof, because he thought Michael was just a cat, sure, but had no idea if anyone else might be listening. (That, and he’s careful as fuck about shit like that, so yeah.)

No, Michael got to hear about how fucking cold it was and how Ryan wasn’t a fan. Like. Snow’s pretty and all? But he was a nice southern boy (only part of that’s ever been true) and wasn’t Los Santos supposed to be warm?

Got to hear about some shitty little car he stole off some poor bastard and the noise the engine was making and did Michael think that meant the engine was bout to explode on him or something?

Just.

Ryan talked a lot about a whole lot of nothing and Michael got to hear all about it.

Started sitting a few feet away from Ryan, overhang of a vent exhaust/whatever those things are called my brain is not working right now out of the wind but found himself moving closer after a while.

Ended up curled up next to Ryan at the end there, paws tucked under him because Ryan was right about the cold.

Didn’t startle when Ryan’s target finally showed and he fired his sniper rifle, no,

Michael looking over when Ryan stopped being an idiot and got serious, his quiet “Showtime,” right before he did his job and whatever poor bastard he was hired to kill got dead.

Michael watched as Ryan packed up after that, quick and efficient and not such an idiot after all. Followed along behind him as he climbed off the roof and made his way over to that stolen car a few blocks over before going his own way.

After that, well.

They just kind of kept finding one another, didn’t they.

Michael out aimlessly wandering as a cat or working for one asshole or another and oh, hey, would look at that. The fucking Vagabond. (Before the name, and then afterward right up until the Fakes approached him for a job and Michael’s life got a little more complicated.)

Gavin happened to Michael a year or two after he started working for Geoff. This little asshole that swept into town with that dumb smirk of his and stupid gold-framed sunglasses and looking like a fucking disaster waiting to happen.

Little idiot who had trouble with not being a complete piece of shit and Geoff fucking loved him. Thought he was hilarious as shit and please don’t kill the fucker, Michael, it’d be more trouble than it’s worth, trust me.

And Gavin, the asshole, latched right onto Michael and never let go. Thought he was hilarious with all his snapping and snarling and never once intimidated when Michael played up that reputation he’d picked up over the years.

Mean fucker, and one hell of an anger problem. Rabid bastard who needed to be put down but Ramsey kept holding out on that one, happy to set Michael loose on the crew’s enemies like a bullet from a gun.

No.

Gavin just ginned and laughed and fucking poked at Michael like he knew it was all for show. (It wasn’t, really, but for whatever reason Gavin’s wasn’t entirely wrong about Michael and goddamn him anyway.)

Gavin’s not as stupid as he acts and Michael knew it even back then.

(Geoff’s made mistakes, had lapses in judgement, but Gavin wasn’t one of them. Talented fuck with a knack for computers and not bad behind a sniper rifle. Prone to making bad decisions - reckless ones - when he wasn’t laser-focused on whatever he was dealing with because he’s smart as fuck and a bored Gavin is a dangerous Gavin.)

Michael found himself looking after the little idiot when he couldn’t be bothered to. Workaholic if they let him be, and once Michael found out he was a goddamned soft touch when it came to cats (or any kind of animal, really) that was the beginning of the end, really.

Because Michael liked Gavin pretty much from the start, right? But he didn’t like the way Gavin would work himself into the ground for the crew or some private project he was working on, didn’t matter.

Hand him something to do and if it was important enough or just interesting enough, he’d go at it until he couldn’t anymore, even - especially - if it wasn’t necessary.

So.

Sometimes Michael would go small and furry and visit Gavin at his apartment or his rooms at the penthouse. Wherever Gavin was holed up working himself half to death for no good reason and Cat at him.

Sprawl over his keyboard or stolen files or whatever the fuck he’d be working on refuse to budge until Gavin took a proper break.

Give him the sad eyes and non-stop wailing until Gavin got off his ass and got something to eat. (Feed Michael, really, but he always forgot to get actual cat food and would make him chicken or eggs or whatever he had on hand and once he started cooking realized how hungry he was and made himself food too, so. Yeah. Roundabout way of doing things but it worked.)

Or he’d just pester him long enough that Gavin couldn’t pretend to ignore him any longer and call it a victory when Gavin decided maybe he didn’t need to go back to his project afterward.

Just.

A whole lot of that over the years, and then Ryan joins the crew and Michael.

Fuck.

Michael still has two idiots to look out for (aside from the others, but tangent). Two idiots who need someone to look out for them and it’s.

A mess, for a little while.

Because it’s easier for him to keep an eye on them with them so close now, but also?

He realizes there are FEELINGS.

Because Ryan and Gavin and oh, fuck, suddenly he realizes why he even bothers looking out for them?

Like.

It started out nice and simple and just. Things got complicated all on their own.

Because he thought it was bad when the two of them had never met, but once they did?

God.

They got along like a house on fire (in every possible meaning) and it was terrifying/fascinating to watch happen because.

One, Los Santos is in very real danger with the two of them. And two? Michael’s stupid fucking heart is nowhere near as confused as it should be.

Because Ryan and Gavin and Michael has no time for love triangle bullshit, okay.

He knows what he wants - or would like, really, but no knowing how they’d feel about things and anyway, anyway, he’s never been that lucky.

SO.

Pretend he doesn’t know what he knows and everything will be fine.

Really.

Only, that bit about his life being a fucking disaster after Ryan and Gavin happened to him and just.

Yeah.

He watches the two of them get all nice and cozy together and figures that’s that, you know? Which is fine, really, because he’s happy that they’re happy and other cliche things.

Doesn’t change the fact they still need someone looking after them because God knows they can’t do it to save their own damn lives and all.

And then there’s.

Gavin’s overworking himself or Ryan’s off being Ryan for a job Geoff sent him on and someone needs to check in on Gavin.

But.

He doesn’t realize Ryan got back to town early, finished whatever job he was sent on and hightailed it back to Los Santos because he’s spoiled now, you know.

Gets to come back to someone waiting for him instead of an empty apartment and that’s a hell of a lot better than some shitty motel room somewhere. Wroth driving all night to get back to it.

And wouldn’t you know it, Gavin’s playing with a cat when he gets home.

This oddly familiar little bastard he’s known for years now. Kind of grumpy, little bit cranky but soft and sweet and what are the odds Gavin would also know this cat?

Michael is just watching Ryan process things. Also aware of Gavin doing the same and being all oh, fuck in his tiny werecat head because he done fucked up, didn’t he.

Got used to pestering the fuck out of them as a cat because it was easier? Like. He did the same as a human, got them out of their heads or whatever was needed and all that, but it’s always been different when he was a cat.

Because cat, really.

Only now he’s got the two of them giving him these Looks and it might have been different, being around them as human!Michael and cat!Michael, but not as much as you’d think.

Whichever form he’s in, he makes sure Gavin eats and drinks and fucking sleeps. Doesn’t let him get stuck in his head or get (too much) of a swelled head when he’s riding high.

For Ryan, well.

He’s never been scared of the stupid bastard. Wary, sure, before he got to know him because people will surprise you, but he’s never been scared of him.

(Also, the whole looking after him because goddamned idiot and all)

Gavin picks him up - and Michael lets him because what is he going to do at this point, scratch the asshole? - and studies him closely.

Cat!Michael’s not much to look at really.

Brown tabby with white markings and you’ve see one, you’ve seen them all, or however that saying goes.

Still.

Gavin’s looking at him like he’s something special.

Looks over at Ryan who’s gone all kinds of quiet and thoughtful and just as Michael’s about to start squirming out of Gavin’s hold, the asshole starts talking.

Something, something, something about this matter the two of them have been meaning to talk about for a while now. This problem they have because wouldn’t you know it, they’re happy little relationship isn’t quite?

Michael is Conflicted because he shouldn’t be hearing this, like for real?

And while he could slip out of Gavin’s hands and fucking run for it, he just.

Doesn’t.

Lets Gavin pull him close, hold him against his chest while he and Ryan go on and on about this problem of theirs and most of it’s not registering because he’s having a moral and ethical quandary and such?

But then one of the assholes says his name and Michael - the idiot he is - looks right at them.

And Gavin - because of course it was Gavin - grins a little and asks Michael what he thinks about things and Michael doesn’t get it right away.

No.

He just stares at Gavin who looks back, this dumb little smile on his face. then he looks at Ryan who looks.

Well, the bastard looks amused, and that’s as annoying as it always is, until what they’ve been saying finally, finally fucking processes and Michael realizes they’ve been talking about him?

About how they’ve been trying and trying and trying to woo him the past however long, Inviting out on on dates - which, to be fair, neither of them came out and said and he just thought they were grabbing lunch or going to see a movie they were all interested in and so on and oh, fuck, did he catch their stupid somehow?

It’s painfully obvious in hindsight they’ve been wooing him and he’s been so in denial about such a thing ever happening he never realized?

Just.

Pining like an idiot while they’ve been fucking wooing (attempting to woo?) him and wow. wow, he really did catch their stupid not to pick up on any of that.

Oh, and also the thing where they know Michael’s the asshole cat who keeps popping into their lives, but mostly it’s the wooing thing he completely missed.

And then, you know.

Gavin and Ryan being bastards and telling cat!Michael all about how dumb human!Michael is like they’re not the same person to the point Michael’s tempted to scratch the fuck out of Gavin’s stupid couch.

But that would be stupid, because Michael actually likes the couch - it’s super comfy - and also for all the two of them are being assholes about things?

They’re super fucking nervous, scared.

And Michael, okay.

He gets it, he does.

It’s scary as fuck and God knows if it would work, but it sounds. It sounds nice, like something he’d love to make work if they’re willing to try? (And they obviously do, because the wooing thing? So.)

Michael wriggles out of Gavin’s hold and bumps his face against Gavin’s and meows because that’s not a completely terrible idea, this whole relationship thing he’s been talking about? And then he does the same to Ryan, because for really reals, Ryan and just.

Kind of weird, what with Michael being a cat at the moment? But somehow they make it work.

Also, the three of them seeing how long it takes everyone else to realize Michael’s a werecat because they’re horrible, horrible people. >:DDDDDDD

#ragehappy #mavinwood #freewood #background geoff/burnie #anon #werecat aus #prompt fills #technically not a fic #vagrant fic #¯\_(ツ)_/¯#Anonymous

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spacegaywritings · 4 years

Text

Warming Paws and melting Walls (5/8) “Territorial Revenge”

Summary: Nobody responded within a week and so Remy made sure to inform Emile so they could repaint the office. Virgil does not like being alone for long, especially when it is unexpected.

Luckily, the two are quick to make up.

Tags: animal waster, cat litter box, urine, descriptions of urine smell, cleaning, a bit of fighting bc this is an upset kitty, food and eating mention, feeding, late nights, metal clanking sound, vaccine mention, vet mention, slight restrictions of breathing? Pining mention, auditory triggers, migraine mention, somft feelings, more snuggles and cuddles, kitty gone bad boi,

i do not think there is any more to be applied. If you need me to add anything, please contact me here or on my tumblr (spacegayparty, spacegaywritings)

My KoFi - Support me ♥ or Commission me

ao3: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 // all.

tumblr: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 (you are here!) / 6 / 7 / 8.

Story under the cut: (Wordcount ~3,1k)

Metal clattered together as the key within the lock pressed deeper into it and started turning in order to open the door at last. The light sound filled the cool air. Eventually, the metal keys fell against the dark colour, wooden door and with a particularly loud ‘knack’ of the door, the lock gave way and the way was free.

Remy finally stepped into his home.

It was dark already but that did not stop him from wanting to go home, it encouraged him even further. He was the kind of person to change the night but with Virgil waiting for him, there was an intense urge to just be with the little pet. The darkness outside his apartment was driving him to be faster when the hours passed and passed.

He had cleaned everything with Emile, right after fucking painting it all and reorganising two fucking offices. It was work. It was a lot of work but it was paid extra work on top of that, yet Remy was not exactly a fan of it. The man liked doing his thing, being left alone a bit but also having some non-annoying or intrusive/persistent social interaction. But.. working with Emile all day was as lovely as it could be exhaustive.

That pal did not gossip enough! Remy wanted to talk about chill things, not how he hated or did not hate his parents and whatnot.

Sometimes he wondered whether people moved away and went to other therapists so they would be safe from all their dreadful puns. Maybe it helped in therapy? He did not know but it made him feel fluttered and warm all the same. Still, it would get him to feel nauseous after some time. Maybe Emile played into his auditory triggers - too many words in too little time.

Remy stepped into his home and closed the door.

The sound of shutting it echoed through the vast emptiness in his apartment. Actually, there was so much nothing, it really filled the complete living space.

Strange..

All he could notice was a certain smell.. a pungent, intense smell. It was odd and he could not quite place it.

It sort of reminded him of...

Oh no.

He carefully switched on the light.

Whenever he used his lights, he could not help but be glad about having found proper lamps that did not cause too much eye strain at once. People who developed and invented ideas for dim light bulbs and lamps that were made to be comfortable rather than stinging in illumination were simply saints and he would never back away from this opinion. Those were fucking heroes because they helped the dumb minorities like him that was too Extra (tm) to live with regular things.

When the dim lights, he loved so much, showered the hallway in golden warmth, he noticed.. a weird bit of something on the floor.

Please please no.

“Virgil?”

He called into the void, for the void.

Nothing came back.

Was the cat okay?

Remy carefully made his way over to the weird something on the floor. It looked like spilled liquid, somewhat translucent and odd.

Did... Did Virgil vomit or pee onto the floor? Holy fuck, it smelled awful in the most indescribable ways. He did not want to describe it anyway, let alone sniff it enough to figure out certain components of the smell or any similarities to other scents.

...Oh dear fuck.

The smell - It was cat pee. Virgil had decided to fucking ruin his floor right in front of the little cat toilet he had put up.

Well... that was it, he supposed. It had been a dream that Remy did not really have to “potty train” the kitten since it came with a lot of good manners already. That was so much of an indicator that the cat was from somewhere, that they were civilised and socialised.

Still, after weeks of no answers, Remy had cut the search and was happy to call the cat his own (albeit he never said so but the smiles on his face were more frequent than before and even his migraines seemed more at ease - not to mention how rare they had become).

But it was too nice to have a cat - a first pet - that just was clean and trained and would use the litter box accordingly.

“I swear, you are going to kill me, Queen. I just cleaned it in the morning. It cannot be that bad, can it?”

He already moved to open a few windows and make sure the horrible smell would yield to the fresh air of the evening.

Maybe he should not have been outside for so long without sending anyone over to check on Virgil and catsit after all. Remy admitted he should look into some silly students who needed the money and would be happy about just cuddling a cat and being able to have some WIFI and such.

But really, he had not planned to stay outside for that long. He had wanted to run over and check in on the dust ghost during his lunch break. Sadly, Emile did have that sort of amnesia effect on him. His horny brain went dumb and forgot all the important logic and memory. Therefore, he had been too stupid from love to really think about Virgil needing him at that moment.

Next time, he would discuss this with Emile beforehand. One mistake was alright as long as nobody was hurt and he learned from it.

With black bags under his eyes and shades perched up on the top of his head, he grabbed a few tissues, gloves and a mop and got ready to clean up. Excitement as great as it could have been in such a situation, he got down to clean up and once done, he finished up over there and tended to the litter box.

Nearly empty. There was like, the usual stuff but it was not much because he had cleaned it in the morning - on purpose!

“Are you fucking kidding me? Virgil, why would you do this?”

A deep groan of annoyance split his lips. He got up to remove the bit of waste that was still residing inside. It just took a few moment and it was already done. He disposed of the dirt properly and put his cleaning utensils into the dedicated space.

A tinge of worry hit him as he did so. The cleanness was achieved at last but what about Vi- Just then, a streak of black crossed his view.

“Virgil!”

His tone was low, touching a bit into the territory of a parent. Specifically, when a goody two shoes did something wrong and the parents got all “I am not mad, just disappointed”.

The kitten ducked away and whipped its tail down before slowly swishing it from side to side.

They almost looked ready to fight and as if Remy had provoked it, the void suddenly jumped at his black boot - yes, just one. This was one smol individual and they had yet to be tol enough to attack two Remy feet at once. Soft paws drummed onto the shoe and the ball of charcoal furry was hissing and scratching.

“Hey! Ow-”, Remy hissed back in surprise and slight aggravation, “Virgil, what the fuck!”

The cat jumped back and Remy quickly dropped his jacket, revealing a black sweat shirt he was wearing underneath.

The angry cat hissed at the man and ducked and arched their back. Then, they went in for the fight, now aiming at his knees. A pair of claws jumped at him, so Remy committed himself to the idiocy of catching the cat and picking them up.

Virgil did not get his knees but they did catch some skin of his arms.

“What is wrong with you, gurl? Do you want to play? This is some shit way to tell me about it, queen. You pissed on my floor.”

Virgil hissed again and Remy blinked in incomprehension. He should learn more about cats or something. Like, take a course in cat training because this whole behaviour was too sudden and confusing for him to make sense of it. These acts were so contrary to what they had done before to him. Even at the start of their relationship they had been somewhat loving towards once another.

He did not want to admit it but.. the cat rejecting him kind of stung. Yeah, his attacked shoes were also a point of inconvenience he did not really approve of but they were manageable.

The cat was down on the ground again but definitely not down-to-earth. They were already spitting fireballs at the belated arrival and Remy was cursed with being puzzled forever since they could not communicate and explain what happened.

Remy was unfortunate to think of Virgil as playfully fighting him. By instinct or whatever.

“Hey Queen, if you wanna play, can you just give me a minute or two, so I can eat? I want to exist, too, and you need to eat as well.”

He collected the food and water bowl and made sure to fill everything properly. Virgil had abandoned him again in favour of creepily staring at him from afar. The tail was swishing like a clock’s ticking arms. And they were counting his time until being brought to justice by Black Cat Law, aka The Void Law.

The cat owner emerged from the kitchen, filled bowls filling his hands.

Dry food, just a bit - minimal amounts. Wet food - the main source of sustenance for the kitty cat. Water - because kitty cat got free bowls of water twice a day, thrice when at work with him.

Remy put it back into place and the kitten quickly returned to retrieve the food.

“Yeah, now you are happy, are you not?”

The cat very much ignored him so they could feast upon the bouts of food brought to them. Finally their slave human was working again and feeding them as he was supposed to.

Rude to just take an unannounced break.

“Yeah, I should have expected you to be bitchy without food. You are just like me, are you not, little honey?”

A chuckle could be heard as he took a little moment to relish in the sounds coming from the Void of Darkness and Fire (tm) purring and chewing. The noises were barely audible but Remy has started picking up the most silent ones. It helped him detect the kitten’s feelings or locations when he needed to tend to the cat. Also, it made finding the cat easier for when he wanted to give them a little goodbye-snuggle before going to work.

The urge to cuddle the cat right now was strong but he made sure to not do it.

Cats hated that, as much as sources told him. Sources were the internet and people and also a book he had gotten by now. And the vet he had visited once more after he decided to keep the cat since nobody seemed to care enough. Also, vaccines.

Other than that, Virgil also scratched him once he tried to snuggle them while eating. This was only legal when Virgil was already snuggled up to him due to pure pity they felt for him. Such a Queen.

“You are too good for anyone, kitty. I am sorry for leaving you alone for so long.”

No answer - but the black blob of fur seemed to be at ease with the food and water. This was a start, he thought to himself. Remy still felt guilty for leaving them alone for so long. Then again, he had expected to have the time and get home for a little bit during his lunch break but that did not work out, somehow. And going after his official working hours was not okay.

He should give someone his keys so they could look after the little Queen of Salt for a bit when he had to stay away longer.

What if an emergency ever came up?

His head shook the thoughts of darkness and anxiety away. Instead, he busied his empty hands with the simple task of reheating some food he had made before. Tomorrow he would get some chicken for his kitten to make up for being so neglectful and thoughtless. He needed to be more considerate and accept his responsibilities. After all, he was some kind of caretaker right now - a cat parent, if you will.

Remy leaned back and took a deep breath.

“Virgiiiiil ~”, he cooed softly and took out a little kitty treat.

Just one.

It was not just for his guilty conscience but also for the cat to know he did not mean to. Virgil needed assurance and the stability of life. Giving him some sort of praise for being alone all day - for literally at least 10 hours - was appropriate, he supposed.

The kitten was already done with their bowl of food and was currently drinking when the smell of more food and the sound of Remy’s - their owner’s voice - reached them. They sensed being called over and looked up from their bowl, licking their muzzle and nose with a satisfied look on their face.

“Kitty cat”, he purred again and the void gently let their tail swish just a bit above the floor for a few single strands of their fur to trace over the dark ground.

They purred back in solidarity. Soft paws sunk into the similarly dark floor. The kitty took one step after the other and slowly progressed, body slightly lethargic from the recent intake of food. The ball of fur and mischief made their way over to Remy and sniffed the air.

A determination ruled their fine movements.

Ah, yes. More food.

Good human.

Their eyes sparked at the man, radiating praise and appreciation.

Remy smiled in return and carefully nudged his hand close enough for Virgil to nibble at the treat. Immediately, they welcome it into their mouth. Without realising it, the owner visibly relaxed, the air standing in his lungs was flowing out of his nostrils and allowed him to inhale deeply. His posture eased up and his shoulders were now more straightened and calm compared to before. St a few moments ago, the weight of guilt tore down his body and forced his back to be crooked along with pushing his shoulders into a hunching position.

No more guilt was crushing him anymore, though. The cat had accepted his apology and was carefully pushing their head into Remy’s idle palm. The feeling of warmth, a bit of dampness and furry delight was tickling the receptors in his hand. The warmth travelled up to his chest, spreading throughout all of his body in the process.

“You are too good for me. Aw, Virgil. Little Queen of Salt”, he purred and gently shifted to lean over and started brushing over the smooth and slightly shining fur of his little companion.

His left was holding the curious head of a peculiar kitty cat and he gently started scritching their chin - well, the underside of their chin. It was a bit lighter than the rest of their body. At least, this is what it seemed like to him. It felt warmer and more brownish, yet just as lovely as the rest of them.

Peaceful purring filled the room with soft sounds and calming noise instead of haunting silence

“I love you too”, he chuckled.

Maybe he did not know everything about cats, nor did he understand all his little sass-bean was trying to express with their general body posture, the position of their torso or their tail either - really, he did not know much at all - but he was still trying his best. He certainly was getting better at it and this counted, did it not? Also, it was not like he did not try to educate himself. His workplace naps were replaced by reading in his “cat bible” and literally taking notes.

Hands gently curled around the food-filled body of a satisfied little void. Cradling the coal cat in his arms, he held them close to his heart and walked over to their couch.

“Does my little storm cloud want to cuddle?”

His voice was a low coo and the kitten responded with audible purrs and an enthusiastic bonk when their heads crushed together again.

Ow.

... He would totally never get used to cats showing affection like that.

Well, still worth it.

Apparently, cats did that to show love or some trash. Whatever, Virgil barely ever did it but it got more and more frequent after their first days together. Now it was more often instead of rarely but it certainly was not the most usual and common thing between them.

Still, it could change. At the moment he just wanted to relish in the warmth of their cuddles and the comfort of their intimacy.

Remy flopped onto the couch and left the cat on his chest while he simply laid down flat onto his back like a lazy plank swimming in the water. Just floatin’... simply going with the flow, adapting to any wave.

The cat returned the action by softly pushing their paws into his ribs. Lungs complained due to the compromised volume for more precious and essential oxygen. Not that Remy cared.. nor did Virgil have the cognitive ability to care.

“You having fun there, kitty?”

This cat was royalty and Remy would continue to lay around and simply have them run up and down his body. All he wanted to do was.... just take off his pants and such and put on a more comfortable and flexible pyjama. Falling asleep in tight jeans was not as great (they were great for getting some looks from his boss, though). The idea of moving around right now was just as unpleasant as the idea of falling asleep and waking up in the pants he had worked and sweated in all day.

Unfazed by anything, the void was simply preparing their human bed for a little longer before settling down onto his ribcage...warm and pressing. Just a tad uncomfortable.

“Okay, there you go-”

Yes, this was love.

Remy was too exhausted and comfortable to feel too bothered by his air flow being obstructed. Slowly, he felt himself drift off. The man was soon in a light version of a slumber and gradually become a victim to the sweet relief of a little nap. The discomfort of sweaty and smelly clothes was forgotten when exhaustion took over. The overwhelming state of being physically drained got the best of him.

All good sentiment was forgotten when the comfort of a good cat and a warm home hugged him.

Bye bye meal he had wanted to have. He was already satisfied in other way.

He was home.

This was heaven.

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memory-mortis · 4 years

Text

We Were Never Really Here pt. 2 (Joe x Reader)

A/N: Decided to make this one longer, yeet! Still not much of romance cause I feel like it would take more time to form a connection with Joe.

Warning: Guns, violence, swearing, blood. Surprisingly.

Words: 2613

Rain pattered against the windscreen of the car you sat in. Soon the driver’s door opened and Joe sat down, aroma of the fast food he brought filled the air. You glanced at it, your mouth watering already. Now that you finally got over the crippling shock of killing a person, you felt hungry again and your stomach grumbled in agreement. Joe handed you the burger you asked for, as well as some fries. Before he took a bite himself, however, you handed him a pack of tissues. “Wipe off that blood first, it’s gross.” He looked at you puzzled but then did as you told him. You took a big bite out of your burger. You didn’t even feel bad this time, in that moment you would eat anything, edible or not. When you looked up you realized that Joe was staring at you. “What?” You cocked an eyebrow, chewing. “Nothing,” he murmured and started to dig in too. The next couple of minutes was just the sounds of the two of you gobbling down food and the occasional slurp of cola. You finally gathered the courage to ask what had been on your mind for a long time. “What were you doing with that girl in a motel like that?” His brows narrowed. “Straight to the point. You’re brave.” “Thanks.” “Not a compliment.” You cocked an eyebrow for the second time but questioned it no further. Silence filled the air once again, this time thick and terribly awkward. You crumpled up the piece of paper in which the food came. “Whatever,” you proclaimed as you got out of the car and made your way towards a trash can. When you got back, you were surprised by Joe being the first to speak. “What exactly is so important in that notebook of yours?” he asked. “Tsk,” you crossed your arms over your chest, “that’s not how trading works. You answer first. What were you doing with that girl?” Joe let out an amused chuckle. In fact, that was the first time you saw him smile. He looked much younger when he wasn’t frowning. “Alright.” He looked around the parking lot, still empty. “I save kids from human trafficking. She was one of them.” I knew it. You bit your thumbnail, a habit which just refused to leave you. Joe watched you intently. “Your turn,” he disturbed your train of thought. “Right…” You took a deep breath before speaking. “I am an investigative journalist. I have to stay incognito everywhere because there are people who would love to see me dead for exposing them. You’re the only one who knows my real name. Consider that an honor.” Joe snickered. “No wonder you’re so nosy.” “Hey!” You slapped him on the shoulder playfully. “Not a single thank you? Come on, I helped the cops capture one of the biggest mobs in California!” “Oh really?” He looked at you with amusement in his eyes. “It was all over the news! You must have heard of it.” “I don’t watch TV, it’s a waste of time.” “Oh? And what do you do?” The way he pinned his eyes into you made you shrink. “Sorry. Crossed the line.” Just like that, all the good mood was out the window. Good job, Y/N. Suddenly he put his hand on your head and began pushing you down. “Hey, what are you-” “Shut up,” he shushed you. “Someone’s coming.” You took a look in the rear-view mirror and really, a car was pulling up. You hesitated when you saw the police sign but then remembered the actions of just an hour ago. “Hide under the dashboard,” he commanded and you did just as he told you. To hide you even better, Joe took off his hoodie and threw it over you. Normally it wouldn’t work, but the color blended almost perfectly with the darkness. A knock on the driver’s window ensued. Joe rolled it down. “Good evening, sir. A bit late to be out here, isn’t it?” The cop was trying to be funny but obviously failed as Joe didn’t let out a single sound. It made you want to giggle but you had to remain completely still and silent. He cleared his throat and continued: “Anyways, we’re searching for this woman, have you seen her?” Woman? Were they looking for you? Shit… It dawned on you. There were probably cameras in the hallway, meaning that anyone could see you swing that fire extinguisher. You bit your lip hard. Even if the cops weren’t bribed you would still very much get murdered as soon as you’d step into prison. No, meeting all the shitheads you put there in the first place would be the death of you. And if you were to survive? Your identity would be spilled. That would be like walking around with a goddamn target drawn on your forehead. “No,” you heard Joe speak up and felt a sense of relief wash over you, “doesn’t look familiar. What happened?” “She uhh, murdered a colleague of mine. So please, if you ever spot her, don’t hesitate and call 911.” “Yeah, of course. Will do.” “Alright then. Have a nice evening, sir.” Next you heard the sound of the window rolling up and tried to get up, but Joe’s big hand stopped you and held you down. It remained on your head for a couple more minutes until he pulled the hoodie off of you. Finally you sat back up into the passenger seat. Your hand ran through your hair, moving any stray strands out of your face. Joe opened his mouth to say something, but you interrupted him. “Why don’t we work together?” “What?” He looked at you as if you had gone mad. “You save kids from human trafficking. That’s nice and all but it doesn’t solve the problem entirely. You can be the muscle. I will go with you, take evidence, expose the leaders. Together we’ll be unstoppable. We can fix this world.” You stared each other in the eyes. His face remained stone cold for an uncomfortably long moment before he finally burst into laughter. Something about the laughter lines in the corners of his eyes made your heart flutter. For the first time in the time you spent together you actually saw him. Although he intimidated you when you bumped into him back then, he was much different now. The yellow light of a McDonald’s sign illuminated his face. His piercing eyes lined by circles hid beneath thick dark eyebrows - does this man ever sleep? He had tied his hair back into a low messy bun, some strands just refused to listen though. Very rarely did he show his teeth, a little bit crooked but still well taken care of. Behind all this tough facade hid a rather handsome man. “What is it?” Shit. Did you just get caught staring? You took a sharp breath and looked away. “Nothing,” you mumbled and sipped some leftover cola. “I like it.” “Huh?” You almost choked on the drink. “Your proposition, I like it.” “Wait, really? You don’t think it’s stupid?” “I think it’s incredibly stupid. And dangerous. But I like it.” A cheeky grin grew on your face. Joe turned the key in the ignition and started the car. You didn’t ask any other question. You had a feeling he wouldn’t answer even if you did.

“Here, kitty kitty,” you whispered to get the cat’s attention. It trotted over to you with a quick ‘mrrp’ and rubbed against your hand. “McCleary must’ve been gone for a while, the cat’s touch-starved,” you noted aloud as you gave it some affection. Joe simply hummed as he continued to search the house. You understood his reaction. The situation was suspicious and neither of you liked where it was going. You gave up on trying to cheer Joe up since it seemed to be an impossible task at the moment. When the cat had had enough of you, it ran away into the kitchen to eat some kibbles. Of course it was the fancy kind. You chuckled quietly to yourself, then decided to be of some use while you were there and began searching for anything that would help. You walked over to the tea table in front of the couch and grabbed a handful of jelly beans. You practically jumped when you saw a hand reach over from behind you to grab a green one. “Jesus! You’re unbelievably quiet for such a big guy!” Joe looked you straight in the eye as he squeezed the jelly bean and inserted it into his mouth. Is he always gonna be this weird..? “Anyways,” you took a deep breath and walked away from him; The lack of space between you two made you uncomfortable. “Did you find anything?” “No, nothing. I did find a gun though.” “Okay, cool. Just don’t shoot your brains out with it. What now?” You threw the rest of the beans in your hand into your mouth. “We should check his office.” He didn’t waste another second and immediately headed for the door. It was a nice change from the usual verbal diarrhea you would get from people. Right to the point, just the way you liked it. The heavy realization, however, slowly crept into both of your minds and its dark shadow loomed over you: you weren't searching for McCleary anymore; You were searching for his body. You gave the cat one last pet and left.

The office felt cold and dark despite the sunlight peeking through the big window. You stood in the corner, hand covering your mouth as you stared at the bloody scene in front of you. Joe stood closer to McCleary's lifeless body which sat in the chair, hands stabbed through on the glassy table. Blood was spilled all over. You'd seen worse over the years of work but something about this just disturbed you. Joe was about to touch something on the table. "Wait. Step away for a moment," you commanded as you rummaged through your bag. You pulled out a camera and snapped a picture of the crime scene. "Okay, go on." Joe nodded and looked at the cards scattered on the table. One of them seemed to catch his eye. He picked up the phone and dialled a number. You didn't need to come closer to hear the gunshot. Joe practically slammed the phone down. You didn't think the mood could get more sour but you were proven wrong. He grabbed a glass vase and lifted up his hand. "No, no, no!" You ran over to him and stopped him from smashing it. "Joe, I get it, you're angry, but you need to calm down. We shouldn't break anything in here." He clenched his jaw but you saw him slowly calming down as he looked at you. You gave him a smile. "Good, very good." You took the vase from his hand and gently put it down. "Mother.." he suddenly spoke with a rasp. "Hm?" "Mother. We need to go home. She isn't safe." Dread crashed over you like a wave. You had nothing to worry about except your own life but what about Joe? Did he have a family? A girlfriend? A wife? A child waiting for him to come home? You gave him a nod. He walked to the door in just a few steps but since you were smaller in general, you almost had to run.

When you arrived at his house you were immediately greeted by dead silence. You already half-expected what you were about to find. Joe stepped into the bedroom and you followed close behind. On the bed she lay, pillow resting on her face as a silencer for the gunshot. Joe took it off and exposed the dead woman's face. She'd been shot through her glasses. You watched Joe closely. Should you comfort him? Would he lash out? You hesitated for a moment, then gently put your hand on his shoulder. He didn't weep, nor did he attack you or try to shake you off. "I'm so sorry.." you whispered softly and squeezed his shoulder. "She was the only one I had." So he didn’t have any other family after all. "Not anymore." He turned his head to look at you, confused, eyebrows furrowed. "Nina. She has you. And you have her. Let's go avenge your mother and save the girl."

Your empowering speech was disturbed by a noise downstairs. Both of you turned to face the door. Joe lowered his voice. "Stay here." He pulled out the gun. "What? No!" You frantically looked through all drawers until you found another hidden gun. "I'm coming with you." "Are you stupid? Do you even know how to use a gun?" "I'm from Detroit, of course I know how to use a gun." He snickered quietly. You gave him a smirk. Another noise came from downstairs, this time it was the sound of drawers opening. You checked for bullets in the gun, then nodded towards the door, signaling to Joe that you were ready. He went first with you behind him as backup. The floorboards were old and creaky and you had to try really hard not to make a sound. It only took a few steps to get to the staircase but all of a sudden it felt like 20 miles. Joe kept looking back at you to make sure you were still there and you were uncertain whether you should be offended or complimented. Unlike the way to the stairs however, the events that took place after descending downstairs happened much faster. While Joe shot the man in the living room, perfectly visible from the staircase, you had to take care of another man who was in the kitchen to your right. He sprung to action as soon as he heard Joe’s gunshot and although you had held a gun before, it had been quite a long time. He got close to you but you still managed to shoot him in the face without getting hurt. Some of his blood squirted onto your face and you tried to wipe it off, which left you with red smudges on your cheeks. “You okay?” Joe grabbed your chin and turned your face to examine it. “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” you pushed his hand away. “Go get the other guy, we need info. I don’t think we’re getting anything out of this one.” You poked the man you just shot to make sure he was dead. Yep, definitely not getting up. Joe grumbled something you didn’t understand and went to speak with the wounded man. You stayed. What was becoming of your life? Considering you had one to begin with. Two lives. You had already taken 2 lives in those past 2 days. The awful feeling from yesterday overcame you again as you stared at the gun in your hand. Your sight got blurry as tears fell onto the gun. No. I signed up for this myself. You quickly wiped the tears away with the back of your hand and took a deep breath before hurrying over to Joe who was now interrogating the assassin. He passed away right after you walked in. “Did you get anything?” “Yeah. Governor Williams took her.” Your eyebrows rose in shock. “Governor Williams? Holy shit. That explains the cops.” You felt him staring at you. “What?” “Were you crying just now?” You clenched your jaw at the question and the way his eyes pierced right through you made you nervous. “No,” you huffed. “Doesn’t matter. Let’s go take care of your mother.” You turned on your heel and headed upstairs, his gaze pinned to your back.

Tag list: @joker-flecked-me @papercut-paranoia @elusive-ivory @live-love-loki (If you wish to be added to the tag list, message me or leave a note!)

#joe x reader #joaquin phoenix #you were never really here #you were never really here fanfic #joaquin phoenix fanfic

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kurtty-drabbles · 5 years

Note

Shovel Talk (Lovecraft AU)

@djinmer4

N/A: Blind dates are never a good idea, also, taking some ideas from Sailor Moon(again) and the fact Kitty, in Ultimate, is famously it did lead to this.

Kitty Pryde is a mutant and a famous singer that even matches against Dazzler in the request of the most famous and important figures in the music industries, some would speculate that Dazzler and Kitty hate each other, however, that´s far from the truth.

Dazzler and some of Kitty´s friend are a bit concerned about her love life, the woman repeats that she is fine as she is, but that solitude and her own lyrics beg to differ.

Even Jean is concerned( if Kitty stays single her fan club will increase as Jean´s will decreased, Logan himself already mentioned how Kitty has grown to be a beautiful woman)

Hence why every X-women convinced Kitty to go on a blind date in a nice restaurant that changes themes weekly, tonight, the theme is Germany for some odd reason.

“I can´t believe I´m here with the great Kitty Pryde, hey, since we are here, can I ask why your songs are so creepy and demonic?” Peter Quill asked with his headphone down and with a charming smile on his face.

Kitty merely closes her eyes and inwardly screams. She is a believer of making the best of each situation and the best case scenario here is that she will get free food.

“My songs aren´t creepy or demonic, and let´s just order our food” Kitty suggested wanting to defend her songs and then give up, how many people considered her songs creepy or dark when in reality her songs speak about love.

The waitress arrives with the typical German outfit and a bright smile to her lovely face. She has blonde hair, blue eyes and seems to be a fan of Kitty as she completely ignores Peter Quill.

“Guten Tag, have you decided what you will want?” the waitress named Monika Wagner asked sweetly.

“Well, I don´t want anything with red meat, fish is fine, and you?” she asked Peter Quill who asks the same thing as Kitty. The waitress nods and leaves them alone.

“I got to ask, you know I´m not your target audience, I think your songs are creepy, but I have to admit, your music clips are very interesting, I saw the clip for Autumn’s lover and I have no idea what the story is about, can you explain to me?”

Kitty blinks, he asked in a rudely way but Kitty likes to talk about her music.

“Autumn´s lover is about two lovers that were separated by some evil lurking around, it tries to hurt and violate the woman as she resists and escapes now she is searching for the autumn`s lover” Kitty explained and the waitress return with free bread and cookies for the couple.

“Thank you, Monika, but we didn´t ask for the extra bread or cookies”

“Is on the house, we love your songs, especially autumn´s lover” there´s an akin of sadness on her blue eyes and Kitty would ask why when Peter asked for more bread “Sorry, we are out of bread”

“Anyway, this is a really sad song, you could make a happier song in the future,” Peter said as his food arrives and the man devours it. Kitty wants to run away, however, she wants to make the best of this situation.

“You are a person who travels around the space, what do you think of space?” she refuses to call him Star-Lord.

“Is cold and full of bandits and myths, oh, each time we travel we often praise the ancient ones to not curse us,” Peter said and now has her full attention as finally, they have a common ground.

“You know about the ancient ones?”

“Yes, Gamora often makes us pray in respect and begging for mercy, no one wants to deal with an angry Nyarlathotep” Peter states and Kitty is overjoyed. “no one wants nightmares with him”

“Have you ever got a dream with him? I often have funny dreams” the last part was spoken as a secret and Peter didn´t seem to care or is to engrossed in his last adventure to realize the significance of this fact.

The waitress returns as soon Kitty talks about such fact. It was too personal, no one knows about it.

“Here” she brought a piece of cake saying it is on the house.

“It wasn´t a bad date, you could really do something more upbeat, how about that song, darkness´s embrace? That is fucked up, it seems like you want to fuck the lord of darkness”

“It seems you want to put as many cakes in your mouth, I´m good, let´s end the night right here” Kitty suggested and the Star-Lord agrees. The date is something she would rather forget but is nice to know someone else knows about HIM. A smile finally plays on her face as she is ready to return home.

___________________

“I forget to ask an autograph for Gamora…oh, well, her song is really depressing anyway,” Peter Quill said shrugging as he is walking among the city, tonight was not how he intended but is not his fault. Maybe he can find a replacement for the “date”.

“Heer Quill?” is the waitress from the restaurant, the Monika Wagner, she is pretty and Peter really wants to spend to have fun. Does she want too?

“Hey, you are a very pretty woman,” Peter said and Monika merely laughs, at first it was cute and adorable until it morphs into something sinister and non-human. And the blue eyes change to golden one.

“By Zaorva´s grace, what is that?”

“By Zaorva´s grace? You think you can say this after tonight or ever?” the woman´s voice is not human and not female. And Peter is ready to fight as his gun is aiming at her head. One shot was given but did nothing against the woman.

“Oh, you humans are so funny sometimes!” then tentacles engulfed his body and Peter is scared. “I search for her for many, many years and you will not bother us” Peter´s eyes are unfocused as his expression is dizzy. “Do you understand?”

Peter merely nods.

“By Zaorva´s grace, leave this planet and never return” the woman now morphs into a man with indigo fur and golden eyes “otherwise, I may have to eat you…and you seem so pathetic that sure it will give me a bad stomach case”

Peter nods and starts to walk away suddenly having the need to leave earth and never return.______________________

Meanwhile, Kitty is composing more music, many ask why she is a singer. Money? Fame? Prestige? No, her reason is quite simple and complex. Kitty Pryde, the odd X-women, sings with her heart out to reach someone. A person that is far away from her.

Someone, she is sure they used to be connected. She is trying to reach her soulmate.

Zaorva.

Nyarlathotep.

These names are forever stuck with her. Her songs are travelling through galaxies to reach someone and Kitty hopes with all her heart that it finally reaches.

#kurtty #lovecraft au of au #kurt wagner #lovecraft kurt #peter quill is not dead #kitty pryde #blind dates #ultimate au

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