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#anyway. something is seriously seriously wrong with me rn. like fr.
widevibratobitch · 6 months
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daisywords · 1 year
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imagine actually making measurable progress on your wips...finishing them even...works that are no longer 'in progress'
#guys I can't write#like I can write when I do it it's good actually I just can't do it that often#on the one hand...the ''forcing myself to produce'' energy is getting all used up by#*checks notes* literally everything else in my life#but even when the stars align and I do have both time and energy#I am SO SLOW#and yet I am the KING of ideas fr#but they are wasted on me because I'm never going to be able to get around to them#anyway I've finished literally ONE short story in my whole life#not counting the one that was a school assignment in sixth grade#and it's like ''oh okay maybe writing isn't for you then''#listen I am thinking about these stories every day of my life#and it's like. my favorite part of being myself#but in conclusion something is wrong with me ig#like seriously how do you guys do it how are you writing more than like 12k a year#I keep saying maybe when I'm done with school it will be different but sadly I don't think that will come to pass#and like all the advice is like ''everyone has time in their schedule you just have to prioritize writing''#as if I haven't been hanging on by my fingernails since high school#like seriously I'm inordinately busy rn but that's not even the problem#but idk what the problem IS#it's not like I'm stuck bc of a particular wip either bc I've switched and written different things#idk I need to get better habits#but it's hard to devote headspace to that when life is a treadmill set to a speed that I'll just never be fast enough for
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SCREAMS
WELCOME BACK
I’VE HAD A WEEEK OF THINKING ABOTU EP 4 NONSTOP AND THE ONLY REASON I’M NOT POSTING ART IS BECAUSE I’M PARANOID ABOUT PEOPLE UNTHINKINGLY SLAPPING SPOILERS IN THE TAGS (its happened before) BUT DADSY HAS MY ENTIRE SOUL ANYWAY
ITS EP 5 TIME AND HECK HECK
MONKIE KID SEASON 4 EPISODE FIVE WE HALFWAY THROUGH BOOOOIIIIIIS
BUCKLE UP I AM NORMAL ALREADY FOLKS
actually to be honest I’ve been pretty chillin until I doodled Pigsy and Mk and now I’m feeling feral THIS SHOW REALLY IS SO GOOD FOR MY BRAIN YELLSSS
OKAY OKAY HERE WE GO COURT OF THE YELLOW ROBED DEMON HECK SOUNDS FUN LETS BOOGIE
continues to be a banger theme song that i will listen to all the way through every time it plays thank you very much
. . .
i need a moment
lays down
Pigsy absolute beloved ;-;
ALSO I’M KINDA WHEEZING AT THE BLUE ISN’T REALLY MY COLOUR
HECK I DIDNT’ APPRECCIATE EP 4 ENOUGH SO YOU BEST BELIEVE I’MA BE CHERISHIGN THE CRAP OUTTA EPISODE FIVE
I’M JUST SO HAPPY PLS BGSL;DKFMSDF
Pigsy washing his clothes in the river, Mk doodling i adore I’m so much and MEI BELOVED BALANCING SWORD ON HER NOSE I’M
THE VIBES ARE SO GOOD I WILL CRY
i had to rewind because i just sat here watching and just ;-; SUCH GOOD VIBES MAN |;A;/
ALSO HECK DIOLOGUE
HECKINGDSFLKMSD
PIGSY CALLING OTHER PIGSY A MONSTER
HMHMHM JOTTING THAT DOWN UR HONOUR
NGL BUT THAT VALIDATES MY OWN LITTLE SELF-INDULGENT FIC I WROTE A WHILE BACK OF TIME TRAVEL AND HIM DISLIKING PAST HIM SORRY I’M JUST GRRGRRRAWRRR BITES /POS
IS PIGSY HAVING TROUBLE ACCEPTING THAT WAS A PAST LIFE?
HECK I’M BITESBITESBITES
THE LAST EP KINDA FELT CONFUSING WHERE TANGS FELT VERY THUROUGH IN WHAT THE BIGGEST REGRET THING WAS BUT
AFTER LITERALLY JUST THAT LINE I’M LIKE OH SO HIS GREATEST REGRET WAS JUST BEING WHO HE WAS HUH FR
I’M LIKE THIRTY SECONDS IN AND ALREADY NORMALGBS;LDFKMA
Tang with the name correction ;-;
PIGSYGBSDFLMWE
DON’T GO COMPARING ME TO THAT DEMON
I’M JUST PLAIN OL PIGSY
|;A;/
I’M FINE IGNORE ME
Pigsy ur so valid for wanting layers on hHNV;LKSMFSD But my good sir no need to apologize for being a hunk smhBG;LSKDFM;WOEF
Mei
Mei absolute beloved
a
s SCREAMS
DRAGON TIME
WE GONNA SEE HIIIMMMMMMM
considering i had so much brainrot about Wukong and Ao Lie brother moments after season 3 if we see him and we get any of his care for his bro i will be emotionally destroyed /pos LIKE I BEEN THINKING ABOUT THEM SM I TELL YOU AAAAAAAA
Mei: oh he must’ve been awesome
you’re right mei he was
just didn’t get much… screen time. book time? time BG;KSADFKMSDF
I WONDER HOW THEY’LL CHRACTERIZE HIM
HECK
AAAAAAA
SO MANY OPTIONS
i am very normal if we see him i’ll cry
Mei’s got some seriously good balance now
MY ANCENSTORGSLDFKMAGNMAWE
.
Okay i wanna laugh over Mei’s I THOUGHT MONKEY KIGN WIAS YOUR DAD! HE’S NOT MY DAD!!!!
I WAS GONNA LAUGH BUT U H
THIS IS THE SECOND TIME THIS HAS BEEN MENTIONED
MK IS LITERALLY DRAWING A STONE EGG
THE PEBBLE CRACKING IN HIS FLASHBACK
BUDDIES OF MINE SUDDENLY ON THE MK AND WUKONG SIBLING TRAIN
head in hands
so this confirms the theory that smacked me in the face last week this is fine
Mk fr probably a pebble from swk’s rock or something i don’t know TOO MANY FINGERS POINTING IN TAT DIRECTION I DONT’ KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT THAT FEEL FREE TO PROVE ME WRONG UNIVERSE I WOULD GLADLY ACCEPT IT
AM I AFRAID TO LEARN ABOUT MK’S BACKSTORY NOW?
YEAH A LITTLE BIT
EVERYHTING IS FINE
TIS IS FINE
A
AH
PLS
SCREAMS
HE SAID IT
SHAKES YOU
GUYS HE SAID IT I’MGNSDFLK;MASDF
THE POINT
AND
PIGSY’S MY DAD
PIGSY SWEATINGBDL;KMASD
PLEASENG;LKSAMF
UR HONOUR
UR HONOUR PLEASE
THIS IS MY SEASON
THIS IS MY SEASON
HECKING
GETTING EVERYTHING I COULD EVER WANT SHUT UUUUPPPPBGS;DFKLMAW;EOIMFE
AAAAAAAAAAAAA
HIS BLEP AND CONTINUES COLOURING
Y’ALL MK MY BELOVED I ADORE THIS DUDE SM
PIGSY BLINDSIDED BY BEING CALLED DAD SO BLATANTLY I’M ON THE FLOOR
MK REALLY JUST
LETS CUT THE CRAP THAT’S MY DAD EVERUYBODY ELSE CAN GO I’MGBSD;FKMASDF
Guys I think i found my favourite episode
no lie this is
everything to me rn
PLEASE
A CONSPIRICY BOARDBG;SLKDMFWE
TANG’S DOODLES
SANDY STILL OFF SCREENGBSD;FKM;WOEF
CAN MEI BECOME A HORSENGKLMFD
GOOD QUESTION ACTUALLY
HECK HECK I FEEL LIKE THIS IS MOVING TO FAST I WANT TO GO BACK AND REWATCH THE WHOLE MONKEY KINGS NOT MY DAD PIGSYS MY DAD UH KID I’M NOT TECNICALLY-
HEKCKMGNDSFMSD
YEAH
I CAN’T BELIEVE
THEY’RE THEORIZING ON SCREEN
ABOTU WHETHER OR NOT MK’S RELATED TO MONKEY KING
I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS IS REAL I FEEL LIKE I’M SCROLLING THORUGH THE FANDOM TAGBGBSDL;KFMSDF
I WILL CRY
HECK THIS IS SO FUNNY SEEING IT ALL SLAPPED OUT LIKE THAT I’VE LITERALLY THOUGHT THAT ALL IN THAT ORDER WE’VE MADE SO MANY THEORIES LIKE THIS I’M WHEEZINGNSDFL;KMSDF
BELOVED MONKEY KING
REAL SWK CONFIRMED
I’M GONNA SCREAM
THEY LEGIT DOING THIS??
FR???
I CAN’T BELEIVE THISGBSD;FKLMOEWF
SO
MK
RELATED TO MONKEY KING SOMEHOW CONFIRMED IG
ALL THAT
PLS
HE’S AT LEAST A STONE MONKEY
I DON’T KNOW HOW THAT WOULD WORK I LIKE MONKEY KING BEING ONE OF A KIND AND ALL THAT NOT SURE ABOUT THAT APPROACH BUT HECK IT WE BALL IG
ALSO PLEASELMGSAOFE
MK JUST LIKE NOOOO NONONONONOOO NO THANK YOU THAT’S CRAAAAZY
ah yess because he’s normally sooooo forthcoming with information
HELPGSDLKF
YEAH
SHE GOT A POINT LAD
SHE DO BE GOT A POINT
poor mk not looking very stoked at this possibility
CURIOUS YOU’D THINK HE’D BE ECSTATIC BUT IG TRUAMA DOES A LOT BGSDL;FKMS
MK COMUNICATING LEGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
WELL WHEN WE FIND HIM WE CAN ASK HIM! :D
PLS I JUST LOV EHIM A LOT GUYS
PIGSYGBSD;LKFMWE
PIGSY YOU’VE BEEN HERE FIVE SECONDS WHY ARE YOU ANNOYEDNLGKMMFEEF
I’m telling you now! :D
PLS IT TAKES A SECOND TO FIGURE THESE THINGS OUT
H
HECK
SCREAMS
HECK WAIT
I’M NOT READY
THIS IS SO EARLY IN THE EPISODE WDYM
USUALLY THEY WAIT TILL CLSOER TO THE END TO LULL YOU INTO A FALSE SENSE OF SECURITY
WE’RE ONLY TWO MINUTES IN
HELP WAITBG;LSDKMF
also welp ig mk really is stone monkey HOW DOES THAT WORK I DON’T KNOW I’M IN PIECES GO BACKGNS;LKFMWE
i DON’T KNOW IF THAT’S MONKEY KINGS ROCK MK I THINK IT’S YOURS
ALSO UM WHAT THE HECKNVG;LKSDMFBGN;AKFMA;WOEF
MK VERY EAGER TO HAVE MONKEY KING EXPLAIN TO EVERYONE HE’S DEFINITELY NOT HIS DADGBSDF;LKM;SDF
th
heck
okay
so
so
soooo
that sounded
less like monkey kings voice there
and more like
ahem Mk’s
SO WHAT DOES THAT MEAN
SCREAMS AND SHAKES YOU ALL
I SWEAR IF HE’S A CLONE
OR HECKING
SOMETHING ID ONT’ KNOW
HE HECKING BETTER NOT BE DEAD
IT BETTER NOT BE MONKEY KING ISNT’ ACTUALLY MONKEY KING AND MK’S HIS REINCARNATION AND MONKEY KING IS ACTUALLY JUST A CLONE LEFT BEHIND TO COACH HIS NEXT LIFE THAT STUPID THING I MADE UP I SWEAR I WILL BE CRUSHED PLEASE DONT’ BE THATBG;SDLKFMAWOE I MADE THAT UP FOR ANGST PURPOSES NOT FOR IT TO BE A HTEORY FOR CANON
i am full of fear
HECK THOSE ARE GIANT EYES
SCROLL CURSE
UP
OH NO THEY LOST THE CHEAT SHEET
CHEAT SHEET WAIT THAT’S SO FUNNYGHSBDFLK;MWEF
OH HECK
HECKK
ECK HECK JGSDJLFSJD
MEI
WATCH IT
OH SHE’S FAST NOW
OH RIP
WELP
I DIDN’T SEE THAT COMING
SO WE’RE GONNA GET A MEI ARC IN THIS ONE AGAIN HUH
BREAK THE SWORD DISSAPOINTED FAMILY OR SOMETHIGN GOTTA RE-PROVE HERSELF OR SOMETHIGN HECKINGNFDL;KMWE
THAT’S SUCH PRETTY ANIMATION THO HECK EHCK
WE’RE ONLY 2:50 IN WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THIS SCREAMS
.
THEY BETTER NOT HAVE BEEN ALL BUBBLED TO DIFFERENT PLACES I SWEAR
oh no yup separated
I’M SO SORRY MEI ILY
OH RIP
WELP
YUP EVERYBODY SEPERATED
AWESOME
.
HELPGML;SDFM
CONGRATS TANG LOOOKS ILKE YOU’RE IN THE KINGDOM OF WOMEN
GL WITH THAT
WIAT HELPGNSAOWE
HE FR JUST SCREAMS AND BUBBLES AWAY
HELPGMSLDF
I WAS EXPECTING HIM TO BE THERE LONGER HELPGNSDLFKMSDF
peak comedy there well done lets scream and run away from that chapter so true bG;LKAWEMFAEWFNAWFE
.
Mei.
Mei you
Mei you literally have the fire of Samadhi
you have the Samadhi fire
you don’t need a swordnGL;KMAWFE
OKAY THO MEI EP OR SOEMTHING IG
SHE’S GONNA GO ON A JOURNY OF SELF-DISCOVERY IG
ALSO WHERE THE HECK DID MK GO
WE SAW EVERYBODY ELSE
WER’ES MY BOOOIIIII
OH I HATE HIM
IMMEMDEATLEY
WHO’S THIS CLOWN
FIESTY
EAT MY FIST
WHY IS HE
TALKINGNSDFL;KMWE
KILL  HIM
SUS OLD MAN
OH RIGHT YEAH YOU’RE THIS GUY
OH HE’S A VIBE ACTUALLY
LONG HAIR VIBIN
.
YOU BETTER NOT HTINK MEI IS YOU’RE HEKCING WHATEVER
OR MAYBE YOU WANNA CONSUME HER
OKAY YEAH
FUN
I’LL BE SPICY ALRIGHT
OHH
OKAY CONCERN
BURN HIM ALIVE
COME ON W
oh
not gonna
eat her right away oka
ITS HIM
ITS HIM
ITS HIM HITSBSFBGANFABF;IOAWMEFAWMGFA;LFMAWOIEMFAF
SCREAMS
SCREAMS
ITS HIM
TIS HIM
SHAKES YOU SHAKES YOU ITS HIM
I KNOW IT IS
ITS HIM I TS HIM TBNSLKMGNEEM
ITS HIM
GREEN
GREEN
ITS HIM
SCREAMS IT HE
ITS HIM ITS MY MAAAN
ITS HE
SCREAMS
ITS AO LIE
SHUT I’M UP GONNA CRY ITS HIM RIGHT NOW HE
I’M HAVING A MOMENT HERE GUYS GIVE ME A SECOND I’M GONNA CRY
OH HE’S SO SCRUNGLY
OH HE’S SO
YES
OH THE LONG SLEEVES EXCUSE ME HE’S SO DELIGHTFUL
I IMMEDEATELY ADORE HIM
I am not normal
HE’S BEAUTIFUL
HIS LITTLE HEADTILT
I WILL SOB
HELPGMSDLFKMSDF
TANG JUST ZOOMIN
NOP NOPE NOPE NOPE
THE NEZHA MOMENT
THIS IS ACTUALLY SO MUCH FUN
HECK AO LIE IS SO SCRUNGGLY I WOULD DIE FOR HIM YA’LL
HE’S DRAWN SO NICE
HES’ BEAUTIFUL
MEI GETS TO HANG OUT WITH HER ANCESTOR
SHE’S EITHER GONNA BE ANNOYED BY HIM OR VIBE AND I’M GONNA CRY EITHER WAY
OH NOPPES OUT TANG ET MOVING
YUP NOPE
THAT’S THE WORNG DOOR VERY MUCH
OH HE’S LAUGHIGN AT HER
WHATS SO FUNNY GUY
I LOVE
I LOVE HIM
SISTER
PLS
I ADORE HIM
YOU DONT’ UNDERSTAND I’M IN LOVE WITH HIS DESIGN THE VOICE ACTOR IS SO GOOD
THE :3 FACE THEY’RE GIIVNG HIM
i am actually going to cry YOU GUSY HE’S SO SCRUNGLY
PLEASE
PLEASE HE’S EVERYHTING TO ME
I WANT TO GIVE HIM SNACKS
THE TRIP
PLEASE
HE’S JUST A GOOFY LITTLE GUY
truly this is the youngest sib during the journey truly tis him
i love how i’m just assuming this is Ao Lie when i actually have no proof its just the vibes via the story and the fact he’s beautiful and green and absolutely delightful I WOULD DIE FOR HIM YOU DON’T UNDERSTANDNGLSDMAGNWO;EFM
oh man we’re only halfway through this is gonna be a long post hG;KLSDFJSD
THIS GUY
YUP MILDLY ANNOYED
I LOVE HIM
OH
OH BUDDY NO
BUD
BELOVED
I’M ABOUT TO CRY
BRUH REALLY
JUST VIBIN
WAITING FOR HIS PWOERS TO BE SNATCHED
AND MEI JUST OUTRAGED BY THAT
YEAH
I’M
HECK
HECK GUYS THAT’S HER ANCESTOR I’M GOING TO BURST INTO TEARS THIS IS A THREAT
INACTION IS CARELESS
IN
INTERSTING
MADAM
MEI NOT ALL OF THAT IS CORRECT
OH LETS GO I HOPE THIS IS A BOTH LEARN SOMETHING FROM EACH OTHER ARC I WILL CRY
MEI HECKA PASSIONATE ABOUT HER FRIENDS
HELPGMSDFLMADF
DO NOT SENSE
PLEASE
PLEASE HANG ON THIS IS MOVING SO FAST
THEY WENT FROM LIKE
HI HI
*INTENSE PHYSCOLOGICAL DISCUSSION*
THEY JUST MET PLEASENG;LKMSDFE
IS IT GONNA BE LIKE
GET OUT AND THEN SURPRISE! I’M AO LIE!
ANYWAY IT WAS NICE MEETING YOU BYEEEE
PLS
A SWORD IS POWERLESS WITHOUT THE HAND THAT WEILDS IT
I ADORED IT
MY DUDE WHO IS PROBABLY AO LIE no its’ definitely Ao Lie AO LIE BELOVED I LOVED IT ITS A GREAT BIT OF WISDOM
THEIR LITTLE BANTER IS SO FUNNY PLEASE
MEI’S READY TO BITE HIM HE’S JUST SILLY GOOFY MAN
THEY BOTH GOT GOOD POINTS
man family dinner must be fun if his sister’s anything like Mei bGALK;SMDFAOWEF MAN I LOVE THEM
TANG REALLY GOING THROUGH IT
M
MO??????
MO??????
MO IS THAT YOU???
HECK???
WHERE’D YOU COME FROM???
WHY AREN’T YOU WITH SANDY??
i mean sandy’s probably not sandy rn but MO????
OH HECK
HELLO
AH
LOUDLY
DECLARING THAT HUH
WHATS GOING ON OVER THERE
Y’know hang on before we listen to Wukong’s bros trash talk him i wanna think about the fact that Wukong and Ao Lie probably get along great because they’re so alike
they’re just silly goofy Ao Lie probably reminds Wukong of himself back when he was just goofing off pls
OH??
OH MACAQUE’S THERE LISTENIGN TO THEM TRASH TALK HIS BELOVED FRIEND?? YEAH?? OH I’M INVESTED LETS FREAKING GO
unpredictable sure is a word for WukongnGL;KMEAFWE
CHARERISTICALLY QUIET PLSNG;LSDKMF
oh wow hey
New VA nailing it actually
deeper sounding
more gruff hang on i need a sec
lays down
heck
okay
okay we’re good
lets see if Azure’s vibes continue to be rancid or he says something to bring it back
also my goodness what a good thing to slap in there, Monkey king gone for years at a time sure does make it sketchy i’m biting this
OH HE’S IN THE BIG OL KING SEAT UH
TANG RECIGNIZING HIM FROM THE DOODLE
PLS THAT’S SO SILLY /POS
NO YEAH ME TOO DUDE
HE’S HECKA SUS
HIS VIBES CONTINUE TO BE RANCID
also heck i’m curious as to what they’re gonna do with this
like if Mac goes along with those three and then it’s actually the other way around not Wukong betraying them but them betraying him that’d be WILD considering we’re all so sure its something Wukong did but heck maybe Azure really does do something heck heck
OKAY BACK TO THE FAMBLY
and the excellently designed dude i immediately hated
he and Ao Lie are on opposite sides of the scale for me pleasemKLGASDF Cool design I IMMEDEATELY HATE HIM and COOL DESIGN I ADORE HIM
Whats up greasy ole face weirdo
oh
OH BELOVED
BEAUTY FIRST
DID I HEAR THAT RIGHT
DID HE JUST SAY BEAUTY FIRST OR AM I JUST IN LOVE WITH THE DESIGNGNSDLFKMABGOWEMF
I’M GONNA ASSUEM THAT’S WHAT HE SAID AND CRY OVER THE FACT AO LIE IS PRETTY WE BEEN KNEW
OH MAN MEI’S GREAT
YEAAAHHHHH
SCREAMS
YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
is the the DANG DRAGON MOMENT U SEEM MORE FAMILAR ARE WE RELATED MOMENT OR GNSLDK;MFAOWEIM
AAAA
SEH’S SO GOOD I LOVE HER A LOT
GET EM MEI
OH
AYO
MADE HERSELF A SWORD
LETS FREAKING GOOOOOOOOOOO
SHE’S SO GOOD
I LOVE HER
WHITE HORSE DRAGON
HEAR THAT AO LIE??
HEAR THAT???
Its okay i’m fine i’m just losing it
GET EM GURRRLL
SHE’S SO
FREAKING POWERFUL
OH WOW THE DRAMATIC
HAIR SWOOSHY
I JUST THOUGHT IT WAS THE RIGHT DAY TO BE CARELESS
OH
OH FREAKING
HECK
WOW
HE’S
OH WOW
AW
I LOVE
HIM
I LOVE IM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM
ITS YOU
AO LIE LIKE EH??
VA GO BRRR
I KNEW YOU WERE COOL
OH REALLY YOU THINK SO? :D
HE’S SO SCRUNGGLY
OH THE COOLEST
PLEASE
I WANT MORE OF HIM
I WANT MORE OF HIM SO BADLY
I BEG OF YOU
HE IS EVEYRTING TO ME I GOT CHILLS
HECK
HECK
OH
OH
OH MAN
MAN
AMV TIME HERE I COME THIS SEASON IS SO FREAKING GOOD I’M LOSING IT
I’M GONNA MAKE SO MANY AMVS I SSWEAR
I’M GONNA WATCH THIS EP ON LOOP
AO LIE IS EVERYTHING
I WANT HIM BACK
PLEASE
AAAAAAAAAA
|;A;/
SCREEAAAMMSSS
OKAY
OKAY
MK
OH MY BOY  ARE YOU ALRIGHT?
HECK HE WAS STRAIGHT UP KNOCKED OUT UNLIKE EVERYONE ELSE
GO BACK WHERE’S PIGSY HECK HECK HECK
I WANT MORE DADSY CONTENT WAAAAIT
OHBOY
WHERE ARE THEY
W
OH PUTI
OH
OH
OH
OH ARE WE
WHERE
HECK
HANG ON
SHOOT
HE IS NOT REPLACING SWK IN THIS
I SWEAR
I WILL LOSE MY GOSH DANG MIND IF THEY DO THAT
SWK IS TOO IMPORTANT TO ME DON’T DO THIS TO ME
HECK HECK HECK HECK HECK
SCREAMS
OKAY
OKAY SO MK IS IN
MONKEY KINGS PLACE
HECK
SO CONFIMRED MK STONE MONKEY AT LEAST, LITERLALY SWK’S SON OR SIBLING AT MOST OR LITERALLY SWK, AO LIE IS MY MOST FAVOURITE EVER I WANT HIM AND SWK BEING GOOFY TOGETHER RIGHT FREAKING NOW, ZHU BAJIE’S GREATEST REGRET MIGHT JSUT BE HIM BEING HISMELF, LBD LOOKED RIGHT AT TANG, MEI CAN MAKE HER OWN NEW SWORD NOW, MK MIGHT BE REPLACING MONKEY KING, AZURE’S VIBES CONTINUE TO BE RANCID, THE NEW VA FOR MAC IS DOING A REALLY GOOD JOB OF SOUNDING CLOSE THE TO THE OG (nothing but appreciation for this guy thank you big shoes to fill) AND THEY’RE ALL SEPERATED, TANG FOUND MEI THO, AO LIE WAS READY TO GIVE UP HIS OWN POWERS, THEY CLASHED BOTH HAD GOOD POINTS, TANG BOOKED IT OUT OF THE KINGDOM OF WOMEN, MK DIDN’T KEEP HIS FRIENDS IN THE DARK ABOTU HIS VISIONS FOR LONGER THAN LIKE TWO EPISODES AND IS COMMUNCIATING, SEEMS TO HAVE A PROBLEM THINKING ABOUT SWK AS HIS DAD, PIGSY GOT CALLED DAD PIGSY’S MY DAD, AH HECK HECK THIS EPISODE HAD SO FREAKING MUCH THEY FOUND MO, HOLDS HIM GETNLY, MACAQUEEEEEE AAAAAAAAA I LOVE ALL THESE GUYS SO MUCH
SHUT UP I THINK THIS IS MY FAVOURITE EPISODE NOBODY TOUCH ME I GOT EVERYTHING BUT WUKONG AND I’M ON A HIGH
KNOX OUT I GOTTA GO RUN INTO SOME SNOW
60 notes · View notes
chim-chim1310 · 10 months
Note
idk if anyone has figured this out yet but all the songs in spotify written/co-written by blvsh have errors on the credits, including like crazy (except for the english version I don't know why).
look at this spotify playlist of blvsh songs:
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/37i9dQZF1EFEV4d0s2cp9N?
it's also weird because if you click the "alina paulsen" in the credits, it goes directly to blvsh's page but i don't think they're the same person. the credits are all messed up and they should fix it soon.
blvsh's also the reason why like crazy has UMG in the credits now BUT goodness, is it far-fetched to hope that LC will get better distribution now? or that jimin changes agency or something too? some agency that is bigger than hybe or bighit, dear gods pls. in all seriousness all the speculations abt possible new music make me excited fr. things might be shitty rn but there are still good things from jimin to look forward to. let's hope for the best
I want pjm 2 with sexy ass bomb songs but also extremely emotional songs too if that makes sense. Like it should be a mix of both and there must be at least 10 songs plz. I would love it if there is a nice storyline in the album. I mean jimin have already released an album based on his real experience I don't think his next album will be on his real life too.
But anyway all I wish for is pjm 2 with no sabotage and fair treatment and ffs good ass promotions. Both in Korea and outside of Korea.
And in the meanwhile till we get his album, we should should get some bomb ass collabs.
I know I'm making stories now. But what if it turns out to be true lol. There's nothing wrong to dream a little bit.
2 notes · View notes
berryunho · 2 years
Note
why is that so complicated omg😭 i think it might depend on the school?? but each class is with 0.5 credits if it lasts a term, 1.0 if it's a full year course, and 0.25 if it's quarter of the term. i also have a designated amt of credits needed for my major and im free to use the rest wherever. ajwriog why are you doing an overload 😭 i couldnt even handle 5 last year so now im take 4 courses
that's so cool!! how did you learn korean? was it like classes then watching shows with subtitles or smth?
omg haha i did all my biostat/stat requirements last year and really both of them were review of each other... it was pretty funny. that is so true!!! we'll see how things go. the neuro courses offered seem so interesting even if i didnt minor in it, i'd still take them ugh
haha my campus buildings are like that too. today's so windy oml it's also 15/60 but with the wind and all its fucking freezing like NO stop it dfgklj
YES LMAOOOO that was me last night doing my assignment. i finally sat my ass down and read over the textbook sections and did practice problems before attempting and i've got most of it down
it's okay i write too much in my asks anyway oigjrog pen pal vibes right?@?#@
i'm going clubbing tmr with a friend it'll be a nice way to wrap up the week if i dont freeze my butt off outside !!! do you have any plans for the weekend?
-mightychondria
yeah i have no idea who made that system up it really does not make sense now that i tried to explain it 😭😭 yours makes a lot more sense omg lsdkjf;asld im taking an overload bc im so scared of not graduating in 4 years for some reason so i basically take as many as i think i can handle every semester 😭
hmmm well i seriously studied daily. for. twoish. years. using talktomeinkorean and i completed their entire course JFSKLDFJLKSD the later lessons definitely have faded completely from my memory but the more relevant daily grammar/vocab stuck w me and i attribute that SOLELY to being a kpop stan bc i literally hadnt studied in 5 years before like 3 weeks ago when school started 😭😭😭 rn i typically try to watch things w korean subtitles esp like. modern dramas bc all the speech is so easy and standard but i typically give up when it comes to kpop content bc yk these idols talk over each other and yell and dont speak in full sentences and switch up formality BUT ANYWAYS highly recommend talktomeinkorean they taught me everything i know LOL
yes i totally get that !! fr there are so many classes that i want to take and it makes me sad that i won't possibly be able to take all of them :']]
no SERIOUSLY it was basically the same weather here today like why was the wind like that ... smh ... but i saw more than one person sleeping outside just. on grass. in the middle of the day. so ig it wasnt so bad 😭😭
literally chem is so ... KFJDKFJDFJL i find the only way to really learn it is to try it and then figure out where you went wrong 😭😭 takes a while but at least you'll eventually get it hehe
hehe that'll be fun!!! but yeah hopefully its not too cold omg i swear going to the club when its like 50/10 and windy in your clubbing clothes is something i can only do like twice a year LKFJSDF:LJK hehe my friends and i are gonna go thrifting in preparation for halloween !! i think ...... im gonna dye my hair red for the ateez concerts so i might do it early if i can think of a good red-head costume hehe
have fun and be safe clubbing !! hehe :]
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haxorus-imp · 2 years
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Heyo, can you dab me up with some yandere dr flug headcanons? P.s. you’re writing is so good! I’m literally re-reading Alien Affections rn, and its still hella good even though it’s been like 2-3 years since it was made lmfao. Alien Affections seriously aged like wine fr 😔
MMMMM TASTY ANGSTY ASKS~~ <3 Anyway, here's some 'fic bits' of a story I was actually going to write some time ago, but never really did. And thanks for loving Alien Affections! Just started updating Galactic Empires recently. Trying to get back in the saddle of this stuff, you know? -- -Flug is completely subtle at first. You just joined the team and have yet to prove your value to the company, but Flug is always there to give you a helping hand. Always there when you need him...always there when you ask for something...always giving you cups of coffee when you're low on energy...why is he always hanging around you...? -Flug shadows you. Always. You can be walking to and from the mailbox and he'll be watching from the window. Making just a quick peek or walking by to his next destination. You barely notice it...at first. -You both work in the lab together and that's when you take notice of Flug being very...observant of you. Looking over his shoulder, staring at you, and getting distracted from phone calls. You always ask if there was something wrong, but he always just shakes his head and denies that anything is amiss. You being to slightly worry. -It's a slow steady incline to higher levels of worry. First, it was Flug staring. Then, he started following you. He stopped after you requested that he do so. However...now anyone you talk to, for even brief moments of time, suddenly go missing within 24 hours. The mailman you spoke to once? Gone. No body recovered. The woman who you said hello to and waved at while she walked her dog? Both found dead in their home 3 days later. The nasty man that yelled at you for making too much noise during your nightly deliveries? Found violently murdered not 10 hours later. Someone was following you and killing anyone you came into contact with. You began to become paranoid. It...it wasn't Flug doing all that, right? -Then, you begin to sleep at night with the door to your room closed and locked. With the blinds of your window and curtains drawn. You used to sleep with them open...but you don't feel safe enough to do that anymore. -After all that, it could only get worse. Because that's when the notes started. The love confessions, the descripted fantasies of your marriage and future children, the promises, the threats, the sickly sweet words and poems...you felt horribly uneasy. It got to the point where you wouldn't even read the notes. You would just crumple them up and throw them away. -Finally, your torment got too much and you headed to the boss himself, Black Hat. You showed him all of the evidence you collected and told him what was happening. He, as callous as ever, rolled his eyes and barked out why you couldn't deal with it yourself. You then admitted to believing that it was Flug who was leaving all of the notes. But that only got you laughed at and told to quit wasting his time. -And that...was when you made your last mistake. You came out into the dark hallway and ran into Flug. His eyes narrowed, his gaze cruel and unsettling. You tried to back up, but that was when you finally witnessed how quickly he could move. There was a sudden prick in your neck and within moments, your body started shutting down. You are picked up firmly, but gently, as Flug carried you away from the office. Black Hat none the wiser. -Now, you're stuck in a hidden section under the lab. Unable to scream, as he had sewn your lips shut while you were out. There was no need for you to speak, for he already knew everything you wanted. Chained up in a room with no real light or happiness. You were quickly broken down by the scientist as he eroded your sense of self and your willpower fizzled to nothing. -Flug quickly takes charge. Sneaking down there every day to satisfy your needs. You hated him, but what else could you do? If he grew tired of you, you would die. But that would be better than existing as some psycho's plaything, you surmise. -You could only hope that someone heard your muted cries under the metallic panels of the lab floor. You hope they would come to realize that Flug's explanation of your disappearance was full of shit. To find you here...and either set you free...or put you out of your misery.
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me4gumi-moved · 4 years
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would you be able to do an hc with gn!reader dancing on katuski at a party to make midoriya jealous and it works and he gets mad/possessive. thank you 🥺 - shouta
Jealous Midoriya Headcanons + Scenario
that was supposed to just be headcanons :) 
Rating: Teen & Up  Pairing: Midoriya Izuku x GN Reader, Platonic!Bakugou Katsuki x GN Reader Warning(s): Jealousy, Possessive Behavior, Implied Underage Drinking, NSFW-ish (just some grinding that isn’t grinding. also implied naughty times) A/N: this request is elite 😩 i knew i wasn’t the only one who simped for my boy deku Post-Writing Note: Yikes when I was writing this I ended up writing more of a scenario than headcanons. I'm so sorry, shouta anon. So I’ve put some jealous/possessive Midoriya headcanons in the beginning to make up for that
Midoriya doesn’t look like the type to get jealous or be possessive
but that’s fucking wrong lol
He absolutely does get jealous and possessive!
I mean, from elementary school up until his first year at UA, he had nothing.
No quirk, no friends, no social life, no dad, nothing.
So when he finally does get something (i.e you) he’s kind of possessive (not unhealthily so but as to be expected coming from a boyfriend/friend who’s crushing that was bullied for a decade) and can get pretty jealous (also not unhealthily so)
He rarely outwardly/publicly shows this behavior as he doesn’t want to ruin your mood or scare you.
Though, sometimes, he just can’t help it.
Cue the scenario in headcanon form because I’m dumb and got carried away
Maybe it’s the end of Class A’s 3rd year so they’re having a party to celebrate graduating? Or maybe it’s Shouto’s birthday (either way they’re all 18 😗)
Class B is there too just so there’s more than just 20 people
Everyone’s on a first name basis at this point too. It’s been 3 years, everyone’s close friends (except for mineta he def got expelled and replaced with Shinsou)
Doesn’t matter — there’s a party, There’s music, there’s dancing, probably some spiked punch or whatever (i’ve never been to a party so idk what one is actually like)
You get a wondrous idea; you were going to make Midoriya Izuku jealous
You’re seriously in love with Midoriya Izuku and have been since your class was dubbed 1-A 
Since your first year, Izuku has become just so damn fine. He’s got muscles for days, broad shoulders, and he practically dwarfs you in size
That’s not why you love him, of course, that’s just an added bonus.
You’ve been trying to make advances this past school year but either you chickened out, something got in the way (cough cough your classmates cough cough), or he didn’t realize you were flirting or insinuating what you wanted with him.
Luckily, you and Bakugou Katsuki have become close friends in your past 3 years of living in the dorms. Even better, he’s childhood friends with Izuku and as rocky their relationship had once been, they were basically like brothers now.
They act like actual siblings. Arguing, annoying each other, etc. Katsuki stills lights that
He knew what made Izuku tick which means he knew what made him jealous.
(If y’all’ve caught up with manga, you know their relationship here isn’t very far fetched)
So at the party, you walk up to Katsuki and bluntly ask “How do I make Izuku jealous?”
Katsuki knew you were madly in love with the nerd — honestly, everyone knew. Except for the most analytical person, Deku himself.
He grabs your hand and leads you to where everyone is dancing and says a simple “follow my lead”
Before I go any further, Katsuki just thinks of you as one of his best friends — nothing more. No romantic or sexual feelings between the two of you.
Well he thinks you're hot but who wouldn’t?
“Dance real close to me so it looks like we’re grinding or whatever.”
“Are you being fr rn?”
“Does it fucking look like I’m not?”
You follow his lead and dance close enough so that it looks like you’re partaking in a somewhat sexual act
just realized how big my vocabulary is AHSIDNSL
anyways
After a while of this, he whispers in your ear, telling you “Look over there.”
You subtly look in the direction he told you to and your eyes land on Izuku
You get a warm feeling in the pit of your stomach seeing how his jaw is clenched, his hands in fists at his sides, and the blazing look in his viridian eyes.
“he looks pissed...it’s kinda hot,”
🥵
“how’d you know he’d react like this?”
“because he’s clearly in love with you too, dumbass.”
Leaning that Izuku is enamored with you made your skin get hot and an embarrassed look appeared on your face
You pretend not to notice Izuku and pretend the embarrassed look is from Katsuki saying something potentially naughty in your ear
This gets him to finally snap.
He maneuvers between people dancing and up to you and Katsuki
You don’t even notice how close he was until he grabbed you by your wrist and pulled you into his muscled chest
Without a word, he moves you out and away from the designated dance floor (the middle of the main room at the dorms) and picks you up bridal style
“Are you okay with this?” Izuku asks you, his voice rough.
You nod fervently — you were more than okay with this. “This is the part where I should probably tell you I’ve been in love with you since our first year.”
He gives a simple “Me too” before taking you up the stairs to the dorm rooms.
You were in for a long night
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ofmerrit · 3 years
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*  ◜  kristine froseth  ,  cis  woman  &  she/her  ◞  *  according  to  school  records  ,  that’s  merrit  antonietta  unn  hornsby  walking  on  campus  grounds  with  their  usual  iced-americano  from  the ancient  grounds  cafe  .  they’re  known  for  their  long  ,  dark  blonde  locks  outshining  their  surprisingly  tall  figure   and  are  often  spotted  at   the  versailles  garden  reading  wild  geese  by  mary  oliver  .  almost  everyone  knows  their  family  is  worth  like  1.2  billion  dollars  ,  so  we  suspect  they’re  a  member  of   olympus   ,  you  know  ,  the  one  for  old   money  .  do  you  know  where  they  were  the  night  that  the  scholarship  student  died  ?  they  claim  they  were  touring  around  the  campus  for  inspiration  ,  must  be  an  architecture major  thing  ,  right  .  and  hey  ,  don’t  you  agree  that  the  sophomore  reminds  you  of  muffled  screams  into  silk  pillows  ,  the  bellyache  you  get  after  doing  something  wrong  &  vacant smiles ?  you  better  watch  out  h e s t i a  before  something  dangerous  happens  to  you  and  life  ends  at  twenty-two  .  *  ◜  barb  ,  twenty-two  ,  gmt +3  &  she / her  ◞  *
alright alright . it’s me , wrinkle free brain bar from gmt +3 !! so pumped to be here w you sexies mwah <3 here’s merrit’s pinterest board if you’re interested ( pls im a virgo n pinterest addict .. lemme make boards for our muses .. id d*e ! ) imma . bore u to de*th w this intro pls .. forgive me .. i only hav 2 brain cells , this is all over the place HDFJK rip </3 tw: kidnapping, death.
starting w the boring statistics :     full name: merrit antonietta ‘antonia’ unn hornsby     nicknames: mer, antonia, ant, tbc.     code name: hestia ; the goddess of hearth , the family , the state & the domesticity.      star sign: libra sun , virgo moon , scorpio rising.     sexuality: bisexual.     favourite literature piece: wild geese by mary oliver ,  an anthology .                                              “meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,                                              are heading home again.                                              whoever you are, no matter how lonely,                                              the world offers itself to your imagination,                                              calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting                                              over and over announcing your place                                              in the family of things.”
merrit is the only child of the young hornsby couple. she doesn’t remember much of her childhood, according to her grandma, she was the happiest kid. had everything she could ever ask for and more. 
the reason why merrit can’t remember any of this is the beginning of a tragedy — a stormy december night, she and her parents went missing. grandma says they were gone for over five months. a kidnapping case gone cold, they thought. right when the old couple was giving up on them, an angel from above delivered antonia to their door step. malnourished, void of any memory but alive.
life after losing her parents was easier than expected, grandma hornsby ( nee du pont ) made sure merrit would recover from this without any trauma & in a way, she did.
doesn’t have the best relationship with her grandpa, he’s harsh and cranky and too smart for his own good, merrit is lowkey afraid of him lmfao 
she’s currently studying architecture — her dream major was interior design but grandpa encouraged her to pursue architecture to follow her father’s footsteps.  kinda made sense because she’s fascinated by houses .. in reality the insides, the families living there are the real source of interest for her but she’s happy to settle for outside for now gshdjkf
personality stuff !!!
uMM.... i’d say she’s lowkey a people pleaser sdhjkf like ?? making her grandparents proud is . literally the only thing she’s ever wanted in this world n now she feels the same responsibility for every single soul in her life . a torturous existence if you ask me 
can’t say no <3  if she thinks its gonna make u feel a tiny bit better . boom . she’s in .
the friend you’d call to bury a body . no questions asked . she’s pickin up the shovel as you speak asdghfjk unless it’s between her grandparents n you, then *michael scott vc* how the turntables.... sdhjfk shes rattin u out instantly rip
LOVES to talk n listen . fills her heart with joy . a blabbermouth . 
an overachiever . doesn’t sleep much, rocks the dark circles 7/24 lmfao works bc doesn’t like the idea of .. wasting life if that makes sense ??
loyal 2 a fault. mostly to olympus. wld do anything to stay in the secret society / establish her place .
extremely gentle n caring . sometimes ?? its just . too much sdjkf like. tone it down <3
likes poetry ,, especially mary oliver n louise glück ! her fav poem is the orange by wendy cope.
i imagine her wearing flowy, tulle dresses with floral embroidery or vintage pieces idk 
has shit ton of plants but struggles to keep them alive rip
!!! im . terrible at explaining her fr i hate it here ok i hav a vision but ??? i cant explain it
safe 2 say shes having difficulty deciding who she’s supposed to be . a part of her wants to be the golden child for her grandparents n the other side .. jst wants to live her life y’know ??? 
UPDATE ! i’ve realised that by hiding her secret, i also unintentionally hid a big portion of her personality and she comes across as the typical, soft & gentle soul. don’t get me wrong, she is indeed gentle and soft but she’s also volatile and deceitful !
connection ideas !!!
childhood friends - except she doesn’t remember any of it. maybe your muse thinks she’s changed. maybe they don’t care. maybe they are no longer friends . idk 
penpals - seriously ???  i imagine her as someone who writes letters jst bc they’re nostalgic n cute ??? cld be fun.
a home - i kno home’s not a person but a feeling but tell that to merrit lmao. this person’s probably the only one in the whole damn world she’d choose over her grandparents. platonic or romantic, doesn’t matter.
betrothed - super old school yikes. nt exactly betrothed either .. maybe her grandma thot it’d be better if these two were in a relationship . maybe they remained as friends . maybe they hated each other . maybe they kept the publicity stunt ( cue 2 merrit begging to keep faking the rel so her grandpa wld be happy )
exes - a classic. ts this is me trying vibes . on good or bad terms . lingering feelings ? yes please .
bad + good influence - again, classic sdhjfk
saw u at the garden but cldn’t say hi bc i’m a dumb binch - basically someone she has a minor, unrequited crush on. probably knows this person through her other friends but she’s too damn timid to take the first step
a friend from labyrinth . ok hear me out . this is a big deal for her bc she’s all in for her society n v opposed to the idea of a second one even existing . wouldn’t say shes openly mean or .. rude to labyrinth members but ?? jst . wants to protect her own , so this would be a v secret friendship .
a project - could say she has some sort of a savior complex . wants to ‘fix’ people up .. toxic much, mer? <3 anyway ashdjk maybe she thinks .. she can change your muse ? i truly dont know. 
ok final one . its juicy . someone who’s suspicious of her . she has a secret n for the obv reason i didn’t talk abt it, your muse’s suspicious n it’s just . hashtag awkward
these r the only connection ideas i have rn my brain said get tht fire exit door im off im so sorry forgive moi bUT im a sucker for angst : ) so theres that 
something inspired by my queen n savior phoebe bridgers or . folklore ?? yeah.
give me noora / william vibes . the ex friends . the dan / blair dynamic . i live for them ok sgdhfjkl
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charmspoint · 3 years
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fr tho hmmm, ok since ur bingeing alot of anime lately, top 5 anime youve watched recently (u can include ongoing stuff if u want ily)
For this ask meme
I havent binged that much anime recently ;;; Just a few, a lil few.
Long list with pictures ahead, this is not list by quality but by joy factor
5. Jujutsu Kaisen
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It’s weird that the anime I’ve been talking about the most is so low on the list but that’s mainly because I’m mostly hyperfocused on the manga rn. The arc the anime is in rn is where I got really invested when I was reading the manga and it only got better since then, would probs rank very high in my fav manga list rn. I’m feral for the next season and I would like to know when it’s coming out hehe~
4. My Next Life as a Villainess 
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Catarina vs my exam slump, who will win? The answer may surprise you.
This show brought so much happiness in my life when I needed it the most, I just enjoyed it a whole lot and on a few occasions it even made me laugh at loud. Catarina is a fucking dumbass but in a way that makes her lovable instead of frustrating...or at least lovably frustrating lmao! And I’ve already said my peace on the rest of the cast. The only way it could be better is if it went gay all the way 
3. Skate the infinity 
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Can you imagine that I almost didn’t watch this anime? The only reason I started it because I looked at the op cuz ‘skating anime is bound to have some good tunes’ (it has), but truth to be told from the amount of it I see on my dash I would have probably got into it anime. I love these characters (except Adam but Adam falls straight into the sort of villain trope I dislike the most so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯) But honestly has some of the best and most lovable characters these season and Reki’s arc is goddamn heartbreaking to watch. This is the kind of show with a beating heart you know, I love it.
2. Dr Stone
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Funny how I watched this after you complained endlessly about it and then ended up enjoying it so much. I’m not much of a science buff and there are times I just zone out when Senku is explaining shit but as I’ve said countless times before it’s the characters that make or break the show for me and I love every single one. I just like how full of passion it is and how obvious it is that this is the author just nerding out. Senku is very interesting protagonist because he wasn’t supposed to be the protagonist at all and it’s great how passionate he can be while completely avoiding the passionate shonen youth trope. Also I ranted to you constantly about how nice is to see a character with who has such a prominent way of showing love exclusively by his actions. Also the emotional moments hit so hard despite it being a nerd out show. Also just Gen, as a concept. This show feels like someone is constantly ranting to you about the thing they are passionate about and as someone who loves to listen to ppl rant about things they love, it’s just great. Also I get to share in with something you really like and that always makes it better <3
1. Talentless Nana
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Didn’t we calculate that I finished the entire anime and then the manga start to finish in two days flat?
Yeah I think that says it all.
Nana turned out to be such a niche show and it really deserves more. I’ve seen people compare it to Death Note but it’s really not like Death Note when you get past the cat and mouse game that isn’t even it’s core more like a bait to lure you in to the real thing. Like this isn’t a show that is going to vow you with it’s mindgames but I do like it better than Death Note just because it has infinently more interesting and lovable characters and Nana could kick Lights ass any day. Nana has bits of BNHA in it and bits of Death Note in it but what it’s really about for me is abuse and how it can break and remold a person and how hard it’s to get out of it and start acting against what you’ve been conditioned to believe is the right thing, no matter how much you want to do better. That message is more thoroughly explored in the manga though and since it ended up so niche I doubt we’ll be getting second season ;-; But damn don’t I love Nana’s arc. She makes for an amazing protagonist that you just love despite everything she does and then you start to understand her better and how she ended up like this and you just really want to root for her to figure out what happened. And when she does it’s not an instant switch, she doesn’t immediately go ‘oh ok i know what teh good is now ill do that’. It’s a struggle to go against what she’s been taught to believe, it’s a struggle to turn her back on the only safe person she knows in her life (who is very very abusive but abusers can still be safe places that’s why abuse is so hard to leave) and try to join in with people who are very likely to refuse her just because she knows that’s the right thing to do. Watching Nana go from mindless drone to a girl struggling to leave an abusive situation and make up for all the wrongs she did is just amazing. One day I wanna go through the manga and detailly document Nana’s journey. I hope she finds stability soon my girl ;-; 
This has turned into a Talentless Nana rant but I just love how seriously the story takes the topic of abuse, how much it can impact you, your actions and your view of the world and how hard it is to leave. How much easier it would be for Nana to just stay where she is and ignore everything despite knowing leaving would be the best choice. Recently the manga updated with a chapter on Moe and it showed so well how much abuse can impact and persist even when a child is in a safe situation and ;-; MOE I’M SORRY I SAID I DONT LIKE YOU AAAA. 
Anyway if anyone aside from Peter made it to the end of the list uhhh read Talentless Nana, it’s really good and I would like more please
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liveonmtv · 4 years
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cash machine || kth
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pairing: kim taehyung/f!reader genre: fluff & humor. crack actually. crack cocaine. word count: 11.1k warnings: strong language, drinking, an unwated kiss (not from tae), unsanitary jokes (i’m immature), implied sex, vomiting extra: (fr)enemies to lovers, road trip au, rich kids au but it’s barely there also they’re on summer vacation, also this story takes place in the usa JUST to drag the trip out tbh
summary: Jungkook and Seokjin get a little problematic, you have anger issues and Taehyung is under the impression that he killed a man. Also, did you mention that you’re on your way to your unfunny cousin’s wedding? Go on a road trip from Missouri to Las Vegas and you’ll be in for a hilarious yet scary experience! 
a/n: hi! i’m just starting this account out, so reblogging would mean a lot to me. i’m a novice to writing, so criticism is welcome as long as you’re not rude about it. have fun reading (i hope)! i also have a jungkook fic planned next (:
song
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Jungkook has that look in his face, the one he makes where the person sitting opposite of him is about as depraved as he is. He’s given it to you while you were explaining to him how to scam desperate men under the preface of a faux premium Snapchat and he’s given it to Jimin when they were finishing their high school careers and decided to release grasshoppers in the principal’s office. 
However, if there’s one person that’s about as fucked up in the head as he is, it’s Seokjin. The man also suffers from SMSTS as well (Serious Misconception of Sexual Tension Syndrome, and yes, that’s quite a lot of s’s), which doesn’t hurt given the current affairs. 
While Jungkook is aware that Jimin and Hoseok are always up for a bit of mischief, he has ruled them both out as incompetents and moved on to the real deal. Jimin has these rare moments of sanity and Hoseok, as your most loyal little bitchboy, would probably tattle the situation with made-up details to you before the plan is even set in action. 
So, Seokjin it is. 
The story begins in a faraway land before Jungkook knew about the tragic facets of your family’s relationships. Though his friend group is on good terms with your siblings and your other close relatives are aware of their existence and somehow only have good things to say about them, he never thought they’d be invited to your cousin’s wedding. To be fair, you had to do some serious persuasion for your family to allow you to invite six more people to somebody else’s wedding so there’s that factor contributing, but still, the offer is out of the blue.
Somewhere along the way, you went on a tangent about how much you hate your cousin and how your aunt doesn’t have eyebrows and how bothersome it is to look at her face. Your horror stories were mostly you just being your usual dramatic self, but they also revealed that the [L/n]s aren’t what they appear to be. 
You begged and begged for them to accept the invitations, and though Namjoon and Yoongi, unfortunately, couldn’t make it, the others agreed. 
Then arose the problem of the sixth spot that couldn’t be filled. You would’ve just let it be but your parents insisted that if you’re going to ask for something, you should fulfill it until the end. It was Namjoon you’d asked to come first, but he was busy with visiting family back in Seoul, and Yoongi then declared that he didn’t feel like humoring you this once. And that was the exact moment Jungkook decided to strike.
“You want to play matchmaker?” Jin asks. And though he looks almost skeptical, his tone is definitely an excited one. “With [Y/n] and Tae, of all people?” 
“Well yes, think about it logically,” he explains as he is about to say something completely illogical. “She has that sixth spot to fill, she has no other friends and they’re perfect for each other. All the other shit we’re gonna pull is just for fun, though.”  
Jin laughs an evil laugh, always one to be up for evil schemes. Just another evil day in the evil life of Kim Seokjin. “Well, [Y/n] is Tae’s perfect mean girl. And that girl needs either therapy or to get laid, but like, same.” 
“See? You get me.”
“To be fair, I think that goes for all of us. No offense.” 
“None taken,” Jungkook agrees. “Anyways, I was thinking of a… road trip.” 
“Well you didn’t have to be so dramatic about it, this isn’t The Godfather. Though I do feel like I’ve definitely got a bit of Michael Corleone in me.” 
Jungkook shrugs his shoulders nonchalantly at the other fiend’s remark. “You can pray to god all you want. Here in these streets, the only thing we believe in is El Chapo.” 
“I— Okay…” 
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[11:05] LeBruh James: wtf is wrong with u
[11:05] LeBruh James: get help seriously
[11:06] jk the slump god: all i said was that u should invite taehyung as the 6th person to ur cussin’s wedding 
[11:06] jk the slump god: overreacting arent we 
[11:10] LeBruh James: what the hell is a cussin bitch im gonna kill u
[11:13] jk the slump god: not like u have anyone else to invite tho 
[11:13] jk the slump god: hes not that bad ur just being urself
[11:14] LeBruh James: ur literally Not helping ur case rn
[09:45] LeBruh James: none of the girls want to gooooo
[09:45] LeBruh James: fine if it has to be taehyung ig ill live w it
[10:30] jk the slump god: great he already said yes
[10:30] jk the slump god: btw we’re gonna go in las vegas at the end of a road trip u in?
[10:33] LeBruh James: HE SAID YES BEFORE I EVEN INVITED HIM…
[10:33] LeBruh James: EYE. OK.
[10:33] LeBruh James: on one hand i kind of dont want to see any of u but if ur all gone i wont have anything to do b4 the wedding so i guess im in by proxy
[10:34] jk the slump god: lovely doing business with u y/n-chan
[10:36] LeBruh James: call me y/n-chan again and I Will Put ur Dick-Chan in a Freezer-sama and then Cut-san it off
[10:39] jk the slump god: i dont think ur using the honorifics correctly tbh..
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“I don’t see how this is a good idea,” you state with a dramatic pout while looking out of the window. Your expression is solemn. 
Taehyung kind of can’t believe that you’re throwing a tantrum just because you had to sit next to him in the three-row SUV, but on the other hand, he’s kind of into it. You’re more appalled by the fact that he’s not as disgusting up close as you’d imagined him to be. Well granted, you’re being immature, but it’s your shtick so they take it with a grain of salt.
“Why’s that?” Jungkook asks obtusely. He ruined your life the moment he started calling you [Y/n]-chan and he has that bad case of crazy eyes he gets sometimes when you look at his reflection in the mirror going on right now. You’d be more understanding of his condition, hadn’t your trip started barely five minutes ago. 
“What do you mean why is that? We’re all unstable backstabbing lunatics, do you think we can survive together for six whole days?! Stranded or even in a hotel? And then the ride back to Springfield?”
“Hotel? You’re funny. It’s always been my dream to sleep in a motel,” Jin pipes up. 
“Seriously? No limo, now this.”
“Hotel, motel, holiday inn,” Hoseok starts singing. Perhaps if it was queen Britney, it would’ve curbed your temper but fate doesn’t seem to be that kind. 
“Hotel, motel, holiday inn! Hotel, motel, holiday inn! Hotel, motel, holiday inn!” 
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“So we’re not going to visit the Grand Canyon?” 
“It’s in Nevada,” Jimin explains. “We don’t have any business there except for going to the wedding. I’d be more down to do it if I wasn’t afraid that one of us, meaning [Y/n], would push one of the others, meaning you, in the gutter.” 
“Just a little visit?” Taehyung is talented at only hearing what he wants to hear. However, that doesn’t make the conversation any more productive.
“Well not to be the acrophobic buzzkill, but why are you so adamant about visiting the Grand Canyon?” This is the first time you’ve directly addressed Taehyung since the beginning of these mind-numbing two hours. Jin, hands still on the wheel, dares to take a peek at Jungkook and smile an asshole-type smile before almost accidentally crashing into a pole. 
“Watch the road!” Hoseok cries out. Everyone else either refuses to acknowledge what just occurred or decides to spare themselves from doing so.
“Jin says that he always wanted to sleep in a motel. I have another dream.” 
“To visit the Grand Canyon?”
“Not exactly. I want to take a shit in there and see if I can hear it splatter. Think that’s possible?”
“Maybe if you angle your butthole the right way—” Jimin’s explanation is cut short.
“Oh my god, you are disgusting. Shut up. I don’t want to hear it.”  
“What did I tell you about El Chapo, [N/n]?” 
“What about El Chapo?”
“Holy shit, I think I’m confusing conversations,” Jungkook admits. Jin offers no more than an eye-roll.
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Tulsa is a dump, really. Unfortunate that you had to make a stop here but also you’re satisfied because your right asscheek feels numb right now. Might have to take Kelly for a walk, though.  
Taehyung stumbles out of the vehicle after you and all six of you seize each other fleetingly before making your way towards the gas station, a tense sort of silence following. You’re first to speak up. “Y’know, I’ve been listening to your voices for so long now that I don’t wanna look at your faces.” 
“This tbh,” Hoseok agrees with your most profound sentiments as per the usual. He’s quick to match your pace, trailing after you like a lost puppy, successfully getting Taehyung out of his way. He puts his arm around your shoulders casually and you give him that sardonic smile that’s only really reserved for him.
“Don’t say tee-bee-aytch out loud. I get humiliation by proxy.” 
Jungkook makes an exaggerated gagging sound before nudging Taehyung subtly enough that Jin is the only one who sees the interaction. Though the eldest had agreed with his deranged idea, there’s one thing that Kook knows that Jin hasn’t come to find out. 
Taehyung has an ongoing problem or maybe he’s a masochist. He’s always been one to internally get attached to these girls who’d never give him the time of day, who can’t stand him at all. The tragedy-comedy that is his best friend’s love life started on a rainy day in second grade when a girl by the name of Seulbi punched him in the face and he was hooked on her for three years after. 
After the infamous Seulbi, came Yeonji from the cheerleading club who blew off his invite to his first-ever party when they were fifteen. She’d called him a loser to his face and he was smitten with her for a while, too. 
And then, you appeared in his life seemingly out of nowhere. Hoseok’s catty best friend with a tongue sharper than her stilettos and lipstick that goes perfectly with her skin tone. 
Of course, he was aware of your existence prior to that accident he calls his first conversation with you—be it from the exciting yet flat-out brain dead antics Hoseok would describe you’d gotten caught up in at the time or from the sound of your heels sinking into the floor promptly before you entered math class.  You were always late but claimed that the teacher should be grateful because you cut in line to arrive at school earlier. You always had one of those shitty overrated pumpkin spice lattes in your manicured hands. 
Simply put, Taehyung likes you. Though after your disastrous first meeting during which, blunt-natured and seemingly lacking a sense of self-preservation, he called you a stuck up moron and you threatened to make an attempt at his life. With your bullheaded nature, things never did solve themselves after that one instance.
It’s not something that he’s expressed outwardly, but Jungkook knows him better than he knows the back of his hand. Unfortunately, he knows you too, even if not as well and he knows how you can’t get a boyfriend because you either scare them away or you find out they’re only after a quick fuck and some money. 
Regardless, Jungkook writes off his inner ramblings as irrelevant before turning to Jin in what could be described as a conspirative manner. While clumsily handing the cashier gas money, he whispers something in the other man’s ear and Jin’s eyes literally twinkle like he’s in a low-budget porno. 
He nods, furiously so, and the cashier simply stares at them like they’re two idiots that somehow merged into one. It’s not a pretty sight. 
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“What? We’re sleeping out here?” Your whining is to be expected by now. Had any of your friends written an actual, physical, list of all the things you’ve complained about so far, it’d probably fill a notebook. Thankfully enough, said list remained as a mental compilation of your not-so-epic moments. “What about the motel?” 
“Oh, so now you want a motel?” Jin quips back with a smirk. “They always come ‘round.” 
Despite his boasting and apparent eagerness to go to a motel, that doesn’t change the fact that you all find yourselves in a campsite. You’re not an outdoor person save for going to parties or on a shopping spree with Hoseok. And well, your surroundings are a bit too green right now.
Taehyung is the next person to speak up, with a tense posture and his arms crossed over his chest, almost defiantly so. “Honestly, if you don’t want to be here, I don’t understand why you keep coming to these things.”
“Well, I don’t understand why I had to invite your dumb ass here either. I guess the inner machinations of my mind are an enigma.” 
“Yeah, I thought Namjoon or Yoongi would be more fitting for your taste of guest,” he says, outright taunting you now, as if to remind you of your failed love rendezvous with your now close friends. 
“Well yeah, but they both denied, so I had to invite you.” 
“Ah,” he gives a slight sigh and you dismiss the sadness you register in his voice as something deserved for annoying you, “that does make more sense. Lucky me, I guess.”
“Awkies,” Jungkook announces as if it’s something that needs to be announced. Hoseok simply shrugs, and though you’re definitely not looking forward to sleeping out in the woods, he seems excited to try something new. 
There’s something hilarious about seeing a bunch of upper-class kids trying to set up tents and start a fire. You’ve converted to the cavemen with Hoseok, seemingly unaware that engaging in a one-sided debate with a bundle of sticks won’t make them randomly engulf in flames while Hoseok is trying out a trick he saw in the movies.
Honestly, it’s enough of a miracle that you actually went out in the woods and helped without tripping your silly ass and getting lost among the catacombs. Granted, Hoseok would’ve been compassionate enough to look for you had you gotten lost, but you probably wouldn’t get over the trauma of being covered in mud. 
Taehyung notices you both struggling. Part of him wants to make amends with you and a bigger part of him wants to leave Jimin to scramble on his own. Not that he’s sadistic or anything, he just likes seeing others suffer sometimes for entertainment purposes. 
Anyways. 
He approaches casually, like the kind of casual where you can tell that the person has an ulterior motive that they don’t want to reveal. Hoseok appears happy to see him, like he’s a savior on a white horse, while you don’t acknowledge him that much except for a sharp question regarding what he wants. 
He greets the older boy with one of these grins you won’t admit you enjoy looking at before roaming through the pockets of his jacket. Now that you’ve noticed him wearing one, you come to the sudden realization that it is getting quite breezy. 
Taehyung has the habit of scrunching his nose when he’s looking for something and then unconsciously smile broadly after succeeding in finding it. You don’t like that you’re aware of that and you especially don’t like that you can pinpoint the repetitive action.
It appears that Taehyung was looking for a lighter, of all things. 
“I thought you quit smoking?” You simply give him an incredulous look. 
He doesn’t grace you with an answer. Though he doesn’t reek of the putrid smell, you’re still hoping that the answer to that question is yes. Instead of soothing your curiosity, however, he uses the lighter to ignite a spark in the firewood and you guess that it’ll have to do.
“Well, that was quite pathetic,” you comment unhelpfully. 
“Better than Hobi’s attempts and uh, whatever the fuck you were doing.” 
Hoseok is enthusiastic to announce that the bonfire’s ready. You watch the clumsily prepped three tents in disinterest, not bothering to defend your attempt at enchantment to him. “Hoseokie, you’re gonna share a tent with me right?” 
“Hoseokie,” Jin repeats, but in good fun, “I thought you were gonna crash with me tonight?”
You roll your eyes before redirecting your gaze towards Jimin and Jungkook. By the guilty smile Jungkook gives you, you can tell he doesn’t plan on letting Jimin out of his clown clutches. You narrow your expression and jut your lip out disapprovingly. 
“Well, Mr. Handsome,” Jin interrupts whatever you have to say with a thank you, “since you and Kook have been jointed by the assholes since we got here, I don’t see what the problem is.” 
“I think you’re just saying that because you don’t wanna sleep with Tae,” Hoseok comments obliviously. 
“What he said. Also, these crackwhores are planning something, and I’m going to find out what.”
“Well, you’re in tough luck because Hoseok promised,” Jin argues, emphasizing the word promise. He has a shit-eating grin on his face and he’s not even denying your accusation. 
Taehyung coughs once. The second time is overkill and sounds even faker than the first one. “Sorry, but if [Y/n] isn’t comfortable sharing the tent with me, it doesn’t really matter what Hoseok promised.” 
You gape at him. This is probably the first intelligent thing that you’ve heard come out of his mouth. You almost reconsider your treatment of him after that, but then you remember that a guy being half-decent isn’t something you’re supposed to celebrate. You suppose that even he looks like a saint compared to some of your exes.
Everyone notices the conflict on your face but doesn’t say anything about it. Jin admits that Taehyung’s right with a wail yet the tension doesn’t dissolve, somehow. You excuse yourself by declaring that you’re going to get the blankets out of the SUV. 
“Damn, that bad huh?” Jungkook laughs. It’s the hyena laugh that kind of doesn’t suit his face but also the one he does when he’s having fun for no good reason. 
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“I heard in the girls’ bathroom once that this girl went on a diet where she only eats bananas for three months. Like, five a day,” you explain while you munch on your banana in front of the bonfire. Needless to say, you’ve come out to be severely underprepared in terms of food on your first day. 
“That sounds like a strategy to make yourself unhinged,” Hoseok retorts. He believes your story but he’s skeptical about that banana business. “I’d never do that.” 
“Me neither. Diets are stupid, anyway, can’t a bitch eat?” 
Jungkook reaches over and high-fives you, looking at you like you’ve just invented air or some shit. “Amen to that sister.” 
“By the way, what’s the plan for tomorrow?” Jimin is the one to speak up this time. 
“I have quite the plan for you, alright,” Jin laughs. His next statement, however, is the embodiment of his immature nature. “But that banana talk had me all distracted.”
Everyone collectively groans. You’re not really sure if what he said would classify as a dad joke at this point; you’re now entering single-and-desperate-dad joke territory. Can’t say that you’d enjoy it coming from someone else, but Jin is Jin.
“Anyways,” he dismisses his previous remark with an easy-going smile and a wave of his hand in thin air, “we’re going to a breakfast place first thing in the morning. By foot.” 
His grin is mischievous. You think this is the worst idea he’s had yet and no one else present seems attracted by the prospect of it either, so you vocally oppose him with a raised brow. “Don’t you realize how likely it is we’ll get lost?” 
“Yeah, I also don’t wanna walk too much.” Hoseok’s always one to back you up.
“Technology doesn’t lie, [Y/n].”
“If technology doesn’t lie how come I had a D on my maths test in junior year when I used Photomath?” 
Hoseok agrees, remembering the incident. That day was truly one of sorrow. 
“Technology only lies if you’re gullible enough,” Jin now changes the narrative. 
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You sneak out of your and Hoseok’s tent with a brief explanation thrown over your shoulder. Something about getting your make-up wipes from the trunk. Hoseok mutters inspiring words of advice—be careful, it’s dark and who knows what animal puke is on the ground—and you stumble your way to the SUV. 
Shoving the keys in the hole proves to be a difficult task, however. You aimlessly jut it in, hoping to hit the correct place by some sort of miracle. This is the moment that you realize that your eyes aren’t so good at adapting to the darkness. 
“Hey, what’re you doing?”
You jump up out of pure reflex. Startled, you whip around with a bemused look on your face. You’re gonna get wrinkles, damn it. 
“Woah, girl jumps in heels,” Taehyung comments dryly. 
“Don’t sneak up on me, you idiot cokehead,” you retort. You’re not sure why you said that. He’s not a cokehead. 
“No, but seriously, what’re you doing?” 
“I’m trying to look for my make-up wipes.” 
Taehyung takes the keys from you. Without half as much fumbling as you’d done previously, he opens the trunk and you proceed with looking through your purse, only to come to the conclusion that you’ve forgotten your make-up lines somewhere. There’s now a new resolve, clear as day in your twisted mind—you have to find the supermarket you passed by on your way here and buy new ones.
“Did you find them?”
“No.” You scoff. An angry thaw and the trunk is now closed. “I’m going to buy some.” 
“Woah, calm down tiger. Can’t you just sleep with it?” 
“No! Do you know how bad that is for your skin?” 
“Well, we could find a river and you could wipe your face with the dirty water.” 
You give him a blank stare, barely suppressing a small giggle. “Do you understand how ridiculous you’re being?” 
“I’m being ridiculous?”
Silence.
“...You’re not planning to go off in the woods during the dawn of asscrack, right?” 
“The what? Yeah.”
Taehyung looks towards your tent only to see that the light is completely shut down. Hoseok must be asleep already. “I’ll go with you.” 
You roll your eyes. “Do whatever you want.” 
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“So, why do you hate your cousin so much?” Taehyung asks abruptly from behind you. 
Most of your walk has been a silent one, so far, except for an occasional grumble from you and an absentminded one-liner from him. There’s also the sound of sticks crumbling under your high-heels that’s slightly irritating. 
“Because she’s unfunny,” you reply seriously.
“You have issues.” This is probably the least significant reason someone has ever hated somebody else for, in the entire history of hatred. Strangely enough, however, Taehyung can’t help finding it endearing how outlandish you can be.
“I’m sorry, I must have Alzheimer’s because I don’t remember asking,” you snap with a roll of your eyes. 
“You know, I have a dog,” he begins dramatically. “And sometimes he shits on the carpet and one time he puked on me, but I still love him very much. He’s gang, you feel?” 
“I don���t see how that helps with my family situation.”
“I never said it’s supposed to help, I just wanted to talk about myself.” He snickers. You’re getting the most violent of urges. 
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Leering over the thin metal fence that looms over an otherwise mundane hill gives you an idea. Down the admittedly high hill, the supermarket is obnoxiously lit up. However, the hideous sight doesn’t deter you—this is what your nirvana looks like in the given moment.
With one bold move, you lift your leg up the fence and Taehyung considers you, your motives and perhaps even your life until now. “What are you doing?” 
“It’ll be faster if I go down the hill.” 
“You’re gonna break your ankles in these shoes,” he rebuts, his voice a tilted monotone. “Also, I can see your underwear like this.” 
“Perveeeeert.” This is your final taunt before you do make it over the short fence and onto the other side. Examining the hill from up close—but not before you roll your miniskirt down—you come to two conclusions. The first one is that it’s quite steep and the second one comes when you’re one step down, that maybe, just maybe, you’re a bit deranged.
With your back turned to him, you don’t get to see Taehyung experiencing the five stages of grief. There’s obvious conflict on his face and to be precise, his current dilemma is between worry for you and a lack of power to stop you. Perhaps had you turned around, you’d find the sight entertaining.
His movements are leisurely once he does get in motion. Taehyung’s plan is to simply help you up now that he noticed that you’re hesitating to go further than you’ve already gone. 
His voice cutting through the night’s silence startles you. “Hey, you really shouldn’t do this.” 
You stumble. 
As tragic as that is, there’s something else to placate you; you’ve never seen Taehyung move so fast. Not even during the blip test in high school. The rest of his actions are less endearing—he throws you over his shoulder carelessly, stumbles onto the sidewalk and drops you like it’s hot. And then your legs are a bit wobbly, but you pretend they aren’t. 
The unnerving silence remains all the way to the supermarket, then back to the campsite and even when Taehyung’s awkwardly using his phone as a flashlight in your face while you remove your make-up. There’s nothing to say, except maybe if he were to ask you a question that’s not to your liking.
(He’s not that bad.)
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Jin is in a hurry, but you’re not sure what for. It’s been practically less than a day since you started this road trip, but it feels longer. You’re conflicted about how to feel regarding that, but even so, Jimin and Hoseok’s enthusiasm is hard to ignore. 
The feline smile on your face drops the moment Jungkook basically drags you out of your tent, bare-faced and severely underdressed. Well, to be honest, you blend in with them just fine, but in your head, you’re severely underdressed. Something more boujee is usually your style, but you realize your predicament won’t magically change the longer you’re walking in what feels like the middle of nowhere. 
Tusla is gross, yes, but maybe Oklahoma is just gross in general. 
When you’re unhappy, you don’t get shy about it—honesty is the best policy, after all. So you’re going on one of those annoying tangents you like to go on like it’s second nature to you. Maybe it is. 
Taehyung drones out whatever it is you’re saying the moment you start talking about a pimple in your nostril that has hair growing out of it. He’s not particularly grossed out by this revelation, rather, he doesn’t like listening to you go on and on about everything you don’t like about yourself. 
“And I couldn’t put on that necklace you got me for my birthday,” you complain before linking your arms with Hoseok’s and feigning a sniff.
“That is pretty horrible,” he hums in agreement. “I think I have a rash on my thigh.” 
“See, if Jungkook wasn’t being horrible I could probably get some kinda product to smear on it.”
Taehyung feigns a loud yawn. Tagging along with you and Hoseok isn’t as tiring as he’d like to make it out to be. 
“What’re you yawning so blatantly for? I hate being interrupted.” You roll your eyes cockily. 
“Sorry, I almost fell asleep during this uninteresting speech of yours.”
You fume again and Hoseok reassures you with something along the lines of don’t worry, [Y/n], it’s very interesting. Then, silence follows. It always seems to end up like this between the two of you. 
“Well, if it helps,” Taehyung starts, tone breezy, “you’re still beautiful.” 
You feel your face heat up. Sure, boys have given you plenty of compliments before—you’re no stranger to it—hot, sexy and maybe pretty on a good day. But beautiful? Especially without any make-up on? This is definitely something new. 
Hoseok smiles. “Yeah, he’s right.” 
You don’t want to admit just how flattered you really are. “Of course I am.”
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You take the first thing you find to your liking once you reach the breakfast place. Actually, it’s more brunch than it is breakfast, but all that walking is making you starve so you don’t feel particularly inclined to be hung up on semantics. 
“It’s on me.” Jungkook sweeps in smoothly, giving you a flashy smile. 
“Fuck off. I’m still mad at you.”
“You might be, but not for long,” he argues with an obnoxious grin on his face. “They call it… The Kook Effect.” 
You shake your head. “I’m pretty sure you just made that up.”
“Yeah? Remember when you won a bet against Jimin and he had to call you Supreme Majesty in freshman year? And then you pretended that he did it out of his own volition.” 
“Oh, I’m not taking this from you and your dead trim.”
“My trim is fine, thanks.”
“Dead trim!” you repeat, almost frantic. You’re so caught up with Jungkook’s dead trim that you don’t notice that Taehyung is giving you a cheesy smile as he buys you your food. He looks like the greasiest gentleman alive when he hands it to you. 
“And what’s that about?”
“In junior year, at summer camp, they took away our phones because someone recorded the instructor jerking off. And then like, blackmailed him.” 
You quirk an eyebrow up at this, unsure what he’s hinting at. “Right.”
“Right. And then they took all of our phones for a month and you started crying about how your life is a living nightmare.” 
“Right…” you trail off, suddenly embarrassed as if that hadn’t happened a whole two years ago. But like, it totally was a big deal! “The no phone rule was the worst. Even worse than the public bathroom rule.”
“I did it. I’m making it up to you,” he explains. 
You feel your mouth twitch into a small smile, one that he hasn’t quite seen on you before. “I forgive you this once, then.” 
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“We’re going to a hotel after sightseeing,” Jin explains. It’s like he’s got everything figured out all by himself and perhaps with the help of Jungkook’s annoying personality. “I arranged the rooms and everything while you were eating.” 
“Quite epic,” Jimin comments absentmindedly. “Wait, rooms? Like, you mean who’s rooming with who?” 
“Yeah, I finished the registration.” He stares directly at you and then Taehyung. “You could switch if you wanted to, it doesn’t really matter.”
You give him a light glare, already having a brief idea of what he’s done, but don’t comment any further. With a sense of deja vu, you speak up again. “What about the motel?” 
“I wasn’t sure if we’re going to be passing by one today, so I thought hey! Better safe than sorry.” 
Everyone nods in half-agreement until Jin speaks up again. “Plus, you guys reek. You should shower. Couldn’t be me.”
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Predictably, Jin did set you and Taehyung up. You can’t tell what kind of game he and Jungkook are playing, however, the poor boy isn’t half as insufferable in your eyes ever since this road trip began, so maybe you should thank them. Still, you don’t trust them—their minds are as twisted as yours.
As the two of you are dragging your luggage towards your shared room, Taehyung reminds you that you’re free to tell him if you don’t want to sleep with him. “I could go to Jungkook’s room or something.”
You find the idea of being alone more unfavorable than you thought you would. Perhaps your high-school, drastically more histrionic, self would’ve found anything more pleasant than sharing a room with Taehyung. You’re a (slightly) changed person now, though. Or at least you’d like to believe you are.
“Let’s put it like this. I hate a lot of things.”
“You don’t need to tell me that, I already know,” he interrupts with a crude giggle. 
“But you’re not one of them,” you admit. 
There’s also the fact that the two of you are blatantly ignoring that you could switch with Jin and sleep with Hoseok instead.
No more words are spoken between the two of you that day. New Mexico isn’t half as bad as Oklahoma was. 
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You wake up before Taehyung does, punctually so. Rolling out of bed, you partly don’t care whether you wake him but at the same time, you try to avoid making too much noise before slipping into the bathroom. Though you’re definitely one to value your beauty sleep, yesterday’s incident left you paranoid over whether Jungkook or Jin would catch you unprepared. 
You go through your routine calmly and by the time Taehyung goes in the bathroom to take a piss, you’re ready to start doing your make-up. You stare at the foundation in your hand but before you can apply it, you hesitate. 
Do I need make-up to be desirable?
Of course, you’re aware that not all women who use make-up are insecure, or that it’s always necessarily toxic for your self-esteem. And you thought that was the case with you as well, but your doubts suggest otherwise. Swiftly, you put all of your stuff away, stick with your trusty lipstick and nothing else. 
“Morning,” he says, groggy still. 
“Morning.” You look over to him from the corner of your eye and he looks kind of dazed. “Jin says we’re staying here until tomorrow morning.” 
“Cool. Hotel’s nice. The scenery too.” 
“I guess.” 
There’s something cripplingly awkward when the two of you aren’t hurling insults at each other, you realize. 
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You’re off somewhere with Hoseok and Jin when Taehyung is hanging out with Jimin and Jungkook. Turns out their room has a nice balcony, and with the others out of the picture, there’s some kind of buzzed chatter about incoherent topics swirling around. 
Jungkook suddenly decides that it’s a good idea to start talking about his sexcapades. Maybe it’s the alcohol or maybe his mind’s slipping. Jimin kind of wants to admit how much he doesn’t care what his friend does outside of watching anime and playing video games, but there’s also a part of him that’s morbidly intrigued by Jungkook’s words. Like a dark spell or something. 
“I wanted to hit it off with [Y/n] in high school,” he admits bluntly.
The other two stare at him.
“Oh really? What made you change your mind?” Jimin asks, now more awake than ever. 
“Dunno. Like, she’s more like, the bitchy rival in rom-coms, not the protagonist. I liked her, but I didn’t think I could handle her,” he admits.
“Once we were clubbing and this guy was messing with me and I complained to her about it,” Jimin begins, leaning into his chair with a fond smile on his face, “and she was all like, I’ll show him. And I was like, what? And she was like, I’ll show him who he’s dealing with. And then I was like, okay, maybe don’t show him that much.” 
The three of them chuckle. Taehyung talks for the first time in a while. “Nah, I agree.”
“You dig it though, right?” 
Jimin gives him a knowing look right after Jungkook shoots his question with a drunken smile. He guesses that since Hoseok isn’t here, he can finally admit it. 
“Yeah. Yeah, I do. But I can’t get things right with her.” 
“What do you mean?”
“It’s like, we’re either fighting or it’s really awkward.” 
“You’re on your own.” Jimin dismisses him with a wave of his hand. “I don’t think she hates you that much. It’s always Taehyung this, Taehyung that.” 
“True,” Jungkook agrees. “Like yes, maybe she’s complaining about you half the time and I know she loves gossiping but I’ve never heard her talk about someone else that much. Except maybe Yoongi. What I’m sayin’ is, you should give it a shot.”
“Why do you guys even fight so much?” Jimin laughs. “Whenever it happens, I like, forget what even happened to lead up to that.” 
“Well, you know me. I’m always too honest for my own good and when I hit her with some snark she starts getting all defensive. I just...” He sounds defeated by the time he’s finished with his explanation. Taehyung’s shoulders visibly slump and his frame slides down the uncomfortable chair. “I just want to get along with her.” 
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The fourth day is the first time you actually aren’t sure where you are. Save for supposedly being close to Nevada by now, you tuned out the rest of Jin’s explanation despite your previous attempts at keeping up with your location. 
Regardless, what’s important is living in the present. And the present for you right now is walking down a nameless street, in a mess of other tourists, with your pants uncomfortably sticking to your ass with sweat. In short, you feel gross. 
Taehyung doesn’t seem to be having the same problem, while you can’t even fake being unfazed. You envy him just the tiniest bit. 
A trashy souvenir shop seems to catch Taehyung’s attention. In the scorching heat and sand-yellow scenery of this town, however, even that seems more appealing. So when he urges you to go with him, you find yourself reluctantly agreeing. 
When you step in, the air conditioning of the otherwise homey shop welcomes you like taking a breather during an overcrowded party. You let an unconscious smile take over your face when you greet the cashier. She’s cute and her adorableness factor only spikes up when she practically beams at the sight of customers. 
“Hi! Please, feel free to look around.” 
“We will,” Taehyung answers offhandedly. Her gaze lingers on him. 
Most of the things don’t interest you. Actually, they’re hideous if you had to be completely honest. He doesn’t seem that enamored by them either, but you can tell he finds more redeeming qualities about them than you do. 
Your eyes almost bulge out of your face when you see the most live-laugh-love-esque decoration to exist. Like something your mom would laugh-react to on Facebook. 
The offender is no more than three inches tall and wide, a ceramic plate with a cartoony burger portrayed on it. It’s holding a flag that says two simple words: “Nice Buns!” 
You can’t tell if it’s the radioactivity of Jungkook’s cooking from earlier or if this thing is what’s making you nauseous. However, food-poisoning or not, you’re quite disgusted by what you’ve just seen. “Oh my god, the caucasity.” 
“Aw, you don’t like it?” Taehyung says with a mocking pout. “I think it’s cute.” 
“What’s wrong with you? It’s corny.”
“No, it isn’t. It might’ve been if it was a corn-dog, though.” 
You heaved an over-dramatic sigh. “You’re saying words that have no positive impact on my life.”
“I think I’ll buy it,” he declares, before checking the price and realizing he hasn’t brought enough money with himself. 
You shake your head. “I’m not gonna be an accomplice to… that.” 
“Well, of course not. This is your Valentine’s present.”
“Go to hell. As if I’d be your Valentine in the first place,” you reply sardonically before pushing him out of the way.  
Taehyung realizes something at that moment. Even outside your evident disinterest in him and his affairs, the two of you are completely incompatible. You, too quick to judge and be offended and him, too quickly to say the first thing on his mind, obviously don’t mesh smoothly. 
Neither of the boyfriends you’ve had that he’s spoken to is anything like him, either. If Namjoon and Yoongi have one thing in common, it’s that they’re both calm, collected and have a good head screwed securely on top of their shoulders. He’s not like that.
Even so, that revelation only makes the concept of being with you more alluring. 
Kim Taehyung is an idiot. But more importantly, with one glance towards the admittedly good-looking cashier making googly eyes at him, Kim Taehyung makes a decision.
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While you’re taking a shit in a nearby cafeteria, you receive a text from Taehyung. This is shocking by itself since despite the two of you having each others’ numbers, you never really text. 
[15:30] pain in the neck: im going on a date w/ the cashier
[15:30] pain in the neck: feel free to leave
[15:45] Princess Complex: i’m just gonna hang with jungkook thank god
Why is your stomach sinking?
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Once you meet up with Jungkook, you explain the situation briefly. He quickly looks you over, confusion evident on his face. “What? On a date?”
“Yeah, he just kinda left me in the toilet,” you confirm with a shrug. “Anyways, where do you wanna go?” 
It’s not like Jungkook is an oblivious idiot with the emotional capacity of your aunt’s mutated sixth toe, even if he may appear to be. But you never thought he’d call you out the moment your overly confident facade starts slipping. His gaze softens. “Are you sure you’re okay with that?” 
He isn’t examining you when he asks. No, he appears to be looking off, somewhere behind you. However, you remain ignorant to that fact. 
“Yes! Why would I care? I’d rather drink toilet water for ten years straight than spend any more time with that moron,” you snap, too worked up for someone who supposedly doesn’t care. 
“Is that how you really feel about Taehyung?”
“Yes! Yes, oh my god, let it go.”
Jungkook makes one more helpless expression, shrugs lightly, and you fail to realize that neither of those gestures is directed at you. “Let’s go to the arcade.”
“I’m not really into video games,” you lie as you run your hand through your hair, “but fine.”
“Hell yeah.”
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When Taehyung goes back to your room in the trashy motel, notably late during the night for a mere first date, the atmosphere is tense. There’s a crease in your brows when you unlock the door and obvious bite marks over your bare lips. He stumbles ahead to enter, but you continue blocking his path with your arms frigidly crossed over your chest.
“You’re late.” 
“And what’s it to you?” He’s never spoken to you so harshly. There are moments where his words bite, but never does he say them with an expression and tone that are so frosty.
“Nothing in particular.” You move out of his way, finally, and he enters. You briefly wonder if he’s had alcohol before you start talking again. “I’ve been stuck in this room for like, an hour because the keys are in me. Waiting for you...”
“Poor you.”
“Excuse me?”
“I heard what you said about me to Jungkook. You know, I’m starting to understand why you scared away all your exes.”
Warth washes over you in waves for a millisecond before it disperses into nothingness, a cold numbness that makes your back shiver. Your gaze on him is empty yet livid at the same time and he cowers under it. You’re not sure if the guilt on his face is a flicker of your imagination or if it’s genuine, but you hope it’s the latter. 
It’s never his words that are a big deal to you. It’s the way he speaks every syllable, so earnestly with truth laced in every letter, that makes you go off the hook. Because deep down, you’re aware that he doesn’t mean to be malicious or to offend, it’s merely him telling his truth.
You grab a few things impulsively with a mundane declaration, before storming off god knows where. “I’m not sleeping here tonight.”
When the door clicks behind your frame, Taehyung backs down and sprawls out across the bed. Truthfully, he regretted his words before he even opened his mouth. But he was so angry, be it with you or with himself.
It just seemed so unfair that you could blow him away time after time and yet, on his date the only thing on his mind was you. The mediocre make-out session and him awkwardly leaving out of nowhere didn’t help, either. And then you had to be so perfect, waiting for him instead of locking his ass out like he thought you would.
It isn’t the girl’s fault she’s raised to be as sweet as sugar while you’re more like citrus. He’s always had a knack for lemons, anyway.
The fact that you spent the rest of the day with Jungkook only aggravates him further, the younger’s words repeating in his head. I tried to hit it off with [Y/n] in high school, or whatever it was that he said exactly. All of this is his own fault, anyway—if he hadn’t been so temperamental, you would’ve stayed with him for the rest of the day.
Taehyung stares at the cheap lights hanging on the ceiling until his eyes hurt that night.
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Half-way through your trek to Hoseok’s room, you crumble. A sob escapes your throat and then another one. After these two instances, your tears don’t cease. 
At first, Jimin is excited to see you at their door but his smile slips the moment he realizes what a bad state you’re in. You’re practically making whale noises while desperately searching for Hoseok. 
“I’ll give you two a moment.” He gives you one final look-over and leaves with a not-so-threatening threat. “Or maybe thirty. You better be smiling and singing Toxic by the time I’m back, [Y/n].”
Hoseok rushes to hug you. “God, girl, what’s wrong?”
“I like Taehyung.” 
“Is that it? You’re a strong girl, y’know, I never pictured you crying over some pretty boy.” 
“No. I’m crying because I’ve liked him all this fucking time and I tried to run away from him because I’m scared. And he said the most horrible thing to me,” you explain as you bury yourself deeper into his embrace. “That’s why I’m crying.”
“I hope he isn’t allergic to hands, because he’s about to catch them. Actually, I hope he is allergic.” Hoseok isn’t one to ask about details. He lets you get it out of your system, makes a few promises (most often of violence) and then allows you to elaborate if you wish to do so.
You laugh, but it turns into choking considering how much snot you have running down your face by now. “He said that he understands why my exes run away from me. I mean, I— I said something rude about him first, but Jungkook was backing me into a corner and I didn’t know he would even find out about it, I just—”
“Forget about him, forget about Jungkook, everyone. Tonight is for Britney,” Hoseok commands more than he asks you.
You smile sadly at him before uselessly wiping your tears away and giggling like you’re on the brink of losing your mind. Perhaps you are.
“My 45-carat booger. Hey, let’s make Jimin do the chicken dance,” Hoseok starts off like he’s coddling you in his strange way of doing so, but then quickly turns diabolical. He throws some tissues at you and you accept them. If there’s one thing you’re truly grateful for, it’d be your best friend.
You nod, suddenly more excited than you should be. Hoseok’s right—you don’t need some pretty boy when queen Britney is watching over you.
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The next day, you’re wearing a full-face of make-up, and Taehyung notices it. Hoseok’s driving and you’re in the passenger seat, talking about some nonsense as usually do. The atmosphere is light, with Jimin and Jungkook occasionally joining in your conversation and Jin sleeping with his forehead pressed against the window.
Truth to be told, Taehyung feels like a zombie right now. Pretending that your scuffle with him meant nothing to you only convinces him further how little you care about anything that has to do with him.
“I think we’ll be in Las Vegas soon,” Hoseok announces cheerily.
On one hand, you’re happy to finally be seeing the end of this road trip. Though you’ve technically just been relaxing, you wanted to be done with your cousin’s dumb wedding and go back to spending an average amount of time with your friends. You want to forget how flippant things are between you and Taehyung, your quote-unquote friendship dictated by mood swings rather than actual feelings.
“Fuck yeah! I wanna get drunk in Vegas,” you say with a smirk. “It’s on my bucket list.”
“Really?” 
“Yeah.”
“You want to get drunk everywhere,” Jungkook corrects with a laugh. You can’t help agreeing with him. “And Jin will probably stay in the hotel and play Candy Crush or something.”
“Ew, ew, ew, a fucking millenial,” you exclaim in mock disgust.
“Jin can be a beast if he wants to. Remember when he twerked in front of the whole school on Taehyung’s birthday party?”
“Shit was wild, man.”
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No one except you, Hoseok and Taehyung himself is aware of what transpired yesterday. So Jungkook and Jin are still stubbornly placing the two of you together, yet you’re too powerless to fight it.
The hotel is a fancy one, courtesy of your annoying cousin. She’s been texting you and you sent a short message back to inform her you’ve arrived, but you haven't bothered to deal with her provocations any further. 
After dumping his luggage near his bed, Taehyung was straight out of the room and you started getting ready. And that was that. 
You feel more like yourself when you find the wine hidden in the fridge, a free present from the hotel. Or maybe your cousin’s way of making peace. Ha, as if that’d happen. 
When Taehyung comes back to get dressed, you’re already tipsy and acting like a fool.
“Drinking already?” There are many things that Taehyung wants to say to you. An apology he’s too sober to say and a confession you’re too drunk to hear, to begin with. 
“It’s pre-game,” you explain dizzily. “You know. I never told you why I hate my cousin so much. She used to bully me and she stole my first boyfriend from me. And we never got past it.”
With your trademark look, high-heels, acrylics, a fancy yet revealing dress along with whatever else you consider fashionable at the moment, Taehyung feels familiarity staring at your lopsided smirk. Though he’s gotten glimpses of other sides of you during these past few days, like how you like cuddling during the night, this is the epitome of who you are.
“Yeah,” he replies agreeably, though you’re not sure what for.
“Well, I don’t know about you, but Hoseok is waiting for me. So, this is bye-bye.” 
“See you there.”
“Probably not.” You snicker. Taehyung can tell that you���re still upset with him.
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You’re so wasted that the things happening around you aren’t really making sense anymore. While you and Hoseok were drinking together for a while, at one point Jungkook whisked him away, then there’s a blank in your memory and now you’re here. Alone. And you’ve lost count of how many drinks you’ve had. 
A man, that’s definitely a few years older than you, finally approaches you after observing you from afar. He says some sort of sleazy line—you’re not sure what it is, you’re not really listening—and offers you a drink. 
You consider him. He’s not your type at all and that pornstache isn’t helping his case but, when you look at Taehyung and see him talking and having fun while you’re being an alcoholic by your lonesome and moping about him, you quickly accept his offer. Pornstache or not. 
“Pick anything you’d like, kitten,” he purrs, in an attempt at being seductive. 
“Well first off I’m not a furry so don’t call me that,” you snap with a self-assured grin. And then you start listing off the most expensive drinks on the menu. 
This man is so enamored by you that he buys you all of them. You’re three steps closer to alcohol poisoning when you clumsily stumble onto the dance floor along with him, running your hand over his jaw in what you believe to be a sensual manner. He seems to dig it, but from an outsider’s perspective the two of you look like junkies trying to get off. 
Your experience in the club is romanticized. The dim lights are reminiscent to those few times you’ve gone to a rave and it reeks of alcohol, overpriced perfumes and sweat. You and your nameless pathetic fan mingle with the grinding crowd and begin imitating them. 
As the poet Lady Gaga once said, “redlight pornographic dance fight”. 
The act itself is indifferent to you. From across the room, Taehyung locks eyes with you and you’re not really sure why but you feel this sudden need to provoke him, even when you know he most likely wouldn’t care. You sloppily kiss your suitor’s cheek while looking at him intensely from across the room. A red trail from your wet lips makes its way down his face.
For the sake of pettiness, you might’ve gone further—I mean, you were already playing some weird game of tug-and-war but with clothes—but you don’t want to know the feeling of this guy’s lips against yours. He finds the mostly innocent action as an invitation, though, and abruptly halts your staring contest with Taehyung by forcing you into a greedy kiss.
Pushing him away, you give him a pointed stare and rejection is clear on his face. “Excuse me…” 
He’s a terrible kisser. 
Pushing through everyone that’s in your way, you make your escape through the first door you find. In your intoxicated parade, you fail to make sense of the words ‘CLOSED’ that are so blatantly taped over the entrance. So, you find yourself in front of a swimming pool. 
The cold breeze outside prickles at your skin unpleasantly, and a quick look around tells you that there’s no one around to put this in their cringe compilation. Apparently more disgusted than you’d initially thought, you puke your guts out in front of the pool. Now light-headed and somehow empty, you stare at your vomit and take a deep breath. 
“Hey, why’d you run away?” Your suitor from earlier appears to have followed you outside. You stare at your feet—doesn’t he understand that you wanted to get away from him?
“You’re a bad kisser,” you say bluntly after getting over your little trance. 
“Give me a chance to change your mind then,” he offers smugly, taking menacing steps towards you. You move away instinctively before you’re quickly backed into a wall, with his two hands trapping you in between. 
Your eyes widen with fear and you sink into yourself. If you had anything else to puke out, you’re sure you would’ve done so at this point. “I have sharp nails and I’m not afraid to use them.”
“Oh, she bites-”
The events that play out next happen so slowly, you’re not sure why you’re surprised. Taehyung appears, and you do see him in your peripheral vision, stares for a bit before knocking the guy out with a punch to his temple. He falls unconscious on the ground.
“Oh god, did I kill him?” he asks, a vacant look on his face. He imagined his first kill to be more thrilling, but on second thought, he’s not sure why he was thinking about that without being under the influence of substances in the first place. 
“I’d be happy if he’s dead, if that helps,” you comment dryly. 
“Do we dump the body in the pool or what?”
The two of you are drunk enough to consider it. Your mind is blank for a bit, before you finally speak up. “I’m trying to think of what I saw on How To Get Away With Murder, but it’s not coming to me. But like, on Blacklisted, there was this guy who like, made the corpses turn to gas or something!”
“You watch too much TV. Also, I’m pretty sure it’s called The Blacklist.”
“Whatever. Do you know how to do that?”
“No.”
“Hey, what’s going on here?” A new voice cuts in.
“You better come up with something convincing or we’ll have to kill him too,” you urge.
“Did you say something?”
“No.”
“Umm, awkward believe it yeah,” Taehyung begins, a strong start. “This guy slipped on her puke and hit his head. And he has a concussion now.”
“Man, that sucks,” the guy says. You’re relieved that he’s as trashed as he is, otherwise the situation would’ve went really badly, considering how Taehyung straight-up lied to his face. “I’ll go call someone over ‘ere.”
Once he’s out of sight, the two of you stare at each other and decide to flee the country. But then change the plan with the more economically-efficient idea to simply leave the club. 
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“Why were you with that guy anyway?” Taehyung asks. Frankly put, neither of you know where you’re going, but you’re boldly leading him through the artificially-lit streets of Las Vegas as if you’re born there. Where you end up is a concern your sober selves of tomorrow should worry about.
“I wanted to make you jealous,” you reply, bold, like everything you do when you’re drunk is. 
“...I don’t get it.”
“You pissed me off so much yesterday. And you made me jealous when you went out with that cashier. But also, you killed a guy for me, so I guess I’m not mad at you anymore.” 
“Well aren’t you high-maintenance,” he retorts sarcastically, gaining what feels like a confidence spurt because of your sudden confession. “You don’t have anything to be jealous of, anyway. The only thing I had on my mind during that stupid fucking date was you.”
You freeze up. You thought that your own attitude was what made any possibility of him returning your feelings seem laughable. Even if it’s drunk blabber, alcohol is an honesty elixir, at least in your case. “Kiss me?” 
He doesn’t need to be told twice, attacking your lips so eagerly you’d consider it funny if you were in a right state of mind. Still, your reciprocation is just as hungry, so maybe you don’t have any room to laugh. He is indulging you, after all.
The wipeout that happened at the club happens again and you’re left to wonder how things escalated. From teeth clashing against each other in pure excitement, you’re left hovering over Taehyung’s form and straddling him unsteadily.
He reaches under your already high dress and the glimpse of your panties seems to excite him. “You have no idea how much I’ve thought about this,” he admits breezily. 
You smile, a teasing one, adjusting yourself better. “You don’t need to be so dramatic about it, it’s just underwear.” 
“Dramatic is how many times I’ve jerked off after we went to the supermarket and you flashed me.”
“Ewwww, we shared a bed like three times, freak,” you scold and he pouts when you distance yourself from him. 
“I was just trying to be funny!”
“Not funny. Didn’t laugh. It’s better when you don’t talk,” you instruct before leaning down again to kiss him. At least he’s having fun with groping whatever he can get his hands on. 
“You’re so annoying it turns me on. Always whining, it drives me nuts how much I really like you.”
You snicker. “Well, I sure am feelin’ the love here.”
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When you wake up, you register three things. Four, actually. First—your left shoe is missing. Second— Taehyung is knocked out cold next to you. Third—you don’t know where you are, except for the fact that there’s a garbage bin next to you. Fourth—your head is throbbing with pain and you’re so sore you’re not sure if you can walk. Needless to say, you had the wild night in Vegas you wished for in your bucket list, and you only half-regret it.
You see your shoe discarded near you and nudge it with your toe for a bit before finally gathering enough power to sit up and put it on. Or so you think, because the moment you’re propped in a standing position, you vomit like you did yesterday. 
Speaking of yesterday, the only thing you remember is that you and Taehyung were convinced that he’s now a murderer on the run, confessing your feelings for each other in an anti-climactic manner and then having like seven rounds of public sex. 
With a recap of yesterday’s events, you digress and put your shoe on before reaching in your purse. Surprisingly, you haven’t been robbed. Fishing your phone out, you come to the conclusion that you’ve been knocked out cold for way too long. 
Hoseok has generously spammed you with seventy texts, but you don’t bother to read them, already assuming that the gist is something about where the fuck you and Taehyung are. Instead, you call him immediately. 
“Hi,” you greet casually.
“[Y/n]! Where the fuck are you and Tae? We were so worried. Jin almost declared you two missing. But on the positive side, Jungkook didn’t care because he got food poisoning yesterday at the club.”
“I don’t know where we are, but he’s with me.”
“What do you mean?!”
“I’ll send you my location. I don’t have money for Uber, love you, kisses and hickeys,” you say in one breathe before hanging up quickly and doing what you said you’d do. 
At first, you thought this road trip was an opportunity for you to grow and mature. However, after yesterday’s shenanigans, you’re almost convinced your sociopathic tendencies are now higher by 5%. 
You start shaking Taehyung until he wakes up and swats your arms away. Now upon closer inspection, while you’re aware that you look bad right now, he’s not looking too hot either. The lipstick marks you had left on his face make it look like you’ve either slobbered all over him or that he’s a vampire, you’re not sure. And you’ve bitten him so much somebody could think he got attacked by a racoon judging solely on those bruises.
You quickly explain the situation to him as you’re fixing up your bra and top. Considering the fact that you were bordering on nip-slip territory, that was your priority. Smoothing your dress is easy enough, but your pantyhose is mysteriously ripped in some incriminating places.
He reaches out, rips out the fake eyelash that was pathetically hanging off the corner of your eye and throws it away. You take care of the other one, wipe off your ruined make-up and then wipe off the lipstick on his face. 
Your head hurts so much that you don’t know what to say to break the silence. Though you also don’t doubt that he’s in the position, and so, for the first time it doesn’t feel awkward between the two of you. 
“Hey, [Y/n], are we like… dating now?”
“I think so? You can be my date to the wedding if you want.” 
A dopey smile takes over his face. You realize you’ve made someone this happy before with merely being yourself. It fills you with a kind of warmth you’ve never felt before.
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“Your cousin won’t stop calling you,” Taehyung emphasizes as you’re pointedly ignoring your ringtone while you get ready. Considering the atrocious state both of you came back in, the process taking longer than usual shouldn’t be a surprise. Especially since you had to take turns for the shower.
Also the part where the two of you got into a fight over who should go in first—your thesis being arguably stronger once you mentioned the mud ingrained in the left sole of your feet—only slowed you down further.
“I know right? Can’t this pregnant moron get a life.”
“No, I think she’s calling you because we’re late to the wedding,” he elaborates. “You should pick up.”
“But I hate her!”
“You can roast her at the wedding and I’ll hype you up if you do what I ask.”
“Oh my god, promise?” 
“Promise.”
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“Look who finally showed up,” your cousin greets you with a tight smile. You can only return the sentiment as Taehyung dumbly trails behind you. 
Well, as much as you don’t like your cousin, the wedding is certainly nice. With a light atmosphere and a fancy ceremony, he can’t pretend he hates it—that much is certain. Though he can also tell that it’s a lot of money wasted on food that doesn’t look appetizing in the slightest the more he examines the buffet.
“I see you’re not wearing the dress I shipped to you. Is it too tight, perhaps?” She’s smiling fakely and sweetly as she waits for your answer to her provocation. Of course it’s too tight; what else could it be when she picked it two sizes smaller than what you usually wear. And she did it on purpose too.
Despite the rather mundane conversation happening, the tension is thick.
“I’m going to be quick. You look like a greasy manatee.” You give her your own uptight smile before strutting away, cueing Taehyung to follow after you.
“Pregnancy-shameeeeed,” he yells out as he offers her finger guns and speed-walks in your direction. 
Once he’s caught up with you, he speaks up again. “I know you could’ve been more brutal than that.”
“Oh please, I’m sophisticated, I’d never engage in some barbaric behavior.”
You both burst out laughing at your blatant lie. 
▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃
“Do you think they’re dating now?” Jin asks, looking at the two of you as you dance and joke around. Though he imagines that you could only be having a deranged conversation, one that isn’t as sweet and lovey-dovey as it might look from an outsider’s perspective, it’s still quite disgusting how smitten Taehyung looks with you. 
“I don’t care,” Jungkook answers. Him saying he doesn’t care is a metaphor for how much he doesn’t care about anything after his food poisoning.
Jimin rolls his eyes. “Oh definitely. I saw them making out near a garbage dumpster when we were driving back to the hotel.”
Seokjin chokes.
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brvdleysaved · 5 years
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ok first off b4 i say anythin else dnt...... judge bradley’s blog rn i dnt get my laptop bk until wednesday so i am? stranded in a photoshopless land. it’s very tragic. anyway. and scene! je suis... nai oh me..... bk again w probably my fav muse of all time so let us! leap right in! p.s. her pinterest is here
CIS FEMALE — ever hear people say BRADLEY MILLIGAN looks a lot like MARGARET QUALLEY? I think SHE is about 24, so it doesn’t really work. The PSYCHOLOGY major is a SENIOR that is from QUEENS, NY. They can be +ADVENTUROUS, but they can also be -ABRASIVE. I think BRADLEY might be SHEEP. They are living in OFF CAMPUS BUT AFFILIATED WITH BALTA. ( nai. 22. gmt. she/her. )
the kind of sour cherry only certain people have a taste for
once drank a bottle of spiced rum, insisted she could still do a cartwheel and accidentally kicked an old man’s front tooth out in the process. proceeded 2 collapse into a flower bed and laugh so much abt it that she cried
barely takes anything seriously 50% of the time and is angry the other 50%
if she was a coffee she’d be black with five grains of sugar that you couldn’t taste until the last sip
father runs a gang n strip club in queens called ‘no angels’ tht fronts an affluent drug trade, primarily coke. his name is tony milligan n his gang is p infamous around there fr being jst like…. completely cutthroat n awful. they were nicknamed ‘tony’s rottweilers’ by locals bc he bsically has all of these trained dogs on leash at his command n they’re still a growing organisation tday
he’s pretty much the worst human being alive n bradley hs like….. a lot of issues with herself as a result of years of toxicity n abuse
in terms of more family bkground info her mum’s name was alyssa n she vanished when bradley was 12. jst like…. into thin air. nothing. no note. zilch. gan! n when bradley asked her dad abt it his response was essentially “guess she didn’t love us enough to stay”. as bradley’s got older tho n become (without intention) more involved in the business side of things, it’s become pretty clear there was far more to the story. they had a horrible marriage n tony ws quite violent at the best of times, which didn’t help the fact tht alyssa ws struggling a lot w severe depression n rly just… not in the mindset to b dealing w anything else on top of tht, even where motherhood ws concerned. bradley p much… would look after her a lot n they’d both b scared of her dad n it was just a whole mess. anyway im rambling bt basically tony (bradley’s dad) gt wind of alyssa sleeping w men tht worked fr him n he just… got rid. bradley’s kind of worked out over the yrs tht her mum didn’t jst leave on her own accord n tht something must hav happened to her bt she’s too scared of her dad to ever directly accuse him
when her mum went all of her dad’s cruelty pretty mch got channelled straight onto her. it ws diluted between two before bt as u can probably imagine her upbringing was jst…. a steep downhill decline frm tht point onwards
she learnt ways 2 deal w the incurring trauma bt they weren’t healthy ones at all! bsically jst. will do or take anything fr the distraction. chases a thrill like it’s the only way to remind her she’s alive. has absolutely no regard fr her own wellbeing n sometimes gets other ppl in trouble too bc she’s so insatiably reckless
high functioning alcoholic. if u ever see her w a coffee cup u jst kno tht one sniff will confirm high alcohol percentage. honestly idk hw she does it her liver must b yellin
she hd….2 separate stints of psychiatric hospitalisation n she never tlks abt it. like ever. acknowledging she’s been vulnerable is her worst nightmare n bc of the way her dad raised her she always thinks any sign of struggling within herself is weakness. truly does…. not kno how to properly emotion
honestly. im probably missing a million things bc i kind of feel like a microwaved shrimp as i write this bt. basically her life is jst the worst a true… abomination! bc im evil like tht sometimes
loyal to a point of fault. if she cares abt u and u murder a man in cold blood she’ll brawl anyone that says ur guilty
honestly wld probably fight a person over anything. sometimes she’ll jst be having a bad day n she’ll burst n take it out on whoever says the wrong thing. a minefield!
has the worst luck in romance…. ever. the majority of her past bfs hav been absolute beasts n as a result she kind of has the ‘romance is dead n love is a lie’ mentality
speakin of which i feel like she’s bi bt wldnt have dated a girl or anythin. like guys r probably…. her preference just bc historically theyv treated her worse n she hs a very self destructive personality like that. sexy!
dresses like courtney love, 2014 sky ferreira and a character from this is england had a baby. mostly wears stolen clothes from strangers and jackets that swamp her. hair is p much always a wild mess n she usually hd kind of smudgy/smoky makeup bcos apparently she’s allergic to combs and generally looking presentable… relatable content
personality wise she’s v sarcastic. sometimes blunt. kind of has a habit of…. assessing a person n she’s quite perceptive bc she’s been trained to b by the way she always has to monitor her dad’s expression fr the slightest emotion change. she’s quite confident n can p much mke a conversation out of whatever. sort of independent too like she hs a bunch of friends bt she doesn’t care abt going out places alone if she’s in a certain mood n jst wants…… to get into chaos. she’s probably kind of known around campus/town bt itd b a 50/50 balance between bein known as intimidating n bein known as that one girl tht always gets into anarchy
likes: fishnets, stealing cars, water guns and whiskey
dislikes: amy schumer, honesty, yellow tulips and going home
in terms of Plots
hm. mayb someone tht knows her frm home/queens??? like tht frequents no angels (her dad’s strip club) or picks up frm there or smthn
i feel like she probably deals coke bt its like. Select Dealing. like she doesn’t need....2 do it fr income or anythin she jst. gets bored n is like cool may as well mke some money n possibly get robbed ig! anythin fr the thrill! 
anyone..... shes brawled in the past like. she’s literally a menace i cnt express this enough. wil jst randomly throw a drink in someone’s face fr no reason bc she’s bored. she’s probably pissed off 1000 diff ppl in 1000 diff ways. the possibilities r endless n i jst think tht’s a sexy prospect!
fwbs perhaps??? exes??? (probably ws a tumultuous relationship wtever.... ur muse is like like bradley is. a handful)
mayb someone tht she met at an aa meeting when she hd to go fr a court mandated thing one time after bein arrested fr public indecency. i feel like there’s probably a rly expensive statue somewhere thts fancily Sculpted n she like. did a flying kick n kicked the dick of it off n gt arrested fr it
ppl she....... Goes Wild Goes Crazy w. truly jst the most self destructive person alive so anyone w a similar mindset wld b a hellish bt fun combination
on the contrary a gd influence cld b nice perhaps? like someone tht genuinely cares abt her n she jst doesn’t kno hw to compute it
um. honestly the world’s our oyster. hmu n we cn brainstorm if none of tht catches ur eye!
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artterm · 4 years
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2.18.20
yOoooo ok so first of all last night i was studying for my calc exam. Well it was around two in the morning and i was like uhhh hold up’ i feel deja vu. I pull up tumblr and i was like are u fr rn? This is my second time taking calc 1. Around the time of my first exam when taking calc 1 LAST semester I wrote on tumblr. I was struggling with a boy problem. Not boys. A boy. Anyways, i was stupid sad over this boy who didnt like me back anymore. So I was like no freakin way I’ve seriously liked this kid for this long???? 
Well now its four in the morning, I’m literally exhuasted and kinda wanna cry bc I have less than two hours to sleep. I closed my laptop and got into bed thinking cool I’ll get an hour of sleep all for studying for my calc exam, fml. Well now I’m thinking stupid hard about him. How his absence had an impact on me last semester. AND THEN, I started crying. I dont know why, I was just SO emotional. The last time I had cried bc of him was when he literally cut me off and said the words that honestly I may NEVER forget. ‘...I had to cut the shit off.’
So I’m sobbing at 4 am because for whatever reason the thought of why I wasn’t enough for him is floating around in my head and I’m wondering where it all went wrong. When I finally woke up for school around 6:30 in the morning I was dressing for my chem lab (I knew we’d be working with a stain so I didnt want to risk any cute clothes) so I wore some jeggings with two pairs of leggings under and ALL black jackets and hoodies. Pretty much I looked like shit. I was running on no-fucking-sleep and I as I stood there in the mirror in the morning I thought to myself, ‘lawd. Imagine if ***** saw you like this.” 
I wish I was joking. Cause thats how my day felt, like a fuckin’ joke.
First of all, APART from looking and feeling like shit when I went into the kitchen before leaving for school I thought ‘If anyone says the wrong fucking thing to me today i might cry.’ Even the mere thought of it caught me off guard. I looked up to the ceiling and bite back the tears. Not now. 
Whenever I make my walk to chem in the mornings I glance downtown wondering where you are and how you are. I hold onto the idea that maybe you sometimes wonder about me too. 
Back to my stupid ass story. So anyways, I have a break between chem and calc so I TRIED to study some more for calc and as I sat there I realized holy shit im so fucked because im tired af theres no way I’m going to be able to process anything during the exam.
And guess what happened. 
That exam 110% shitted on me. I was now at my PEAK level of sad, or so I thought (what a surprise right?). Before the exam I put my phone into my backpack. I didn’t even bother to take it out after that, because who the fuck is hitting MY line up anyway? 
Now my sappy ass is walking and im like yo whet the fuck. I either get out at 2:40 or go home around 4 when I stay doing homework after class, but today? First off I don’t even know what time it is and now i’m thinking why is there so many fuckinggggg people. I miss getting out of class at 12:30 pm. Fuck this shit. 
So I’m behind some people and the F line finally comes. I went to the side of the door so that other people could pass. As usual, you entered my thoughts. In my head I always wonder ‘what if...’
What if I saw you? I want to so badly but then again, last time i thought i saw you and i immediatly ran to a different door. It hadn’t been you that time, but this time, it was. 
I was glancing around looking for your face in the very back of the train when suddenly I saw a blue hoodie. ‘Theres no fucking way’ i thought. Then I looked at the boy’s face. He had his eyes closed and he looked very at peace. His head was leaning against the glass. Was he really sleeping? His hair was ruffled in the cutest way. 
oh god. oh fuck. I wanted to hide. I knew this is what I had wanted for so long because I’ve missed you but now that it was happening I wanted so badly to disappear. What if he saw me and didnt want to talk so he’s pretending to be asleep? Should I text you? Should I call you? fuckckckkck. 
I put my backpack down next to an older lady, ‘sorry’ ‘oh no don’t worry about it! That looks really heavy. You can sit here i’m about to get off’ ‘thank you so much!’ As I sat there i started freaking out. Should I say something? Maybe yell your name? no no you were awake by now and you had put your headphones in. You were looking out the window. What could you possibly be listening to? We were now at Yale Station and I knew that if i didnt say anything soon then that was it. I saw the empty seat next to you and I wish you knew how much I contemplated sitting next to you. I hadn’t realized how nervous you truly make me. I opened and closed the phone app around four times. I’m not going to call you. Ok fine yes I am. no no I’m not. uGH fuck ok. 
Even though there were people in the way I managed to get a peek at you when you realized your phone was ringing. You were confused, and then you pulled your phone out of your pocket. You looked up and your eyes met mine. For the first time in weeks I saw your smile. 
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rvinsounds · 6 years
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-- only one in which someone shows up at jess’ cafe and saebom is jealous 
a/n: i said i had an idea for crack and this is it LOLOL but i’m writing it in group chat form, like in facebook messenger or smth but probably some wizarding app :D i’m copying the format from a fic bc lazy + effort = no
- GROUP CHAT: ‘LOSERS’ [8 MEMBERS] -
[19:47] ‘jess’ has entered the group chat
jess: GUYS 
jess: GUYS 
jess: G U Y S 
jess: G 
jess: U 
jess: Y 
jess: S 
[19:50] 
jess: no guys seriously i have some crazy news like legit crazy news what the fuck why i no one fucking here i’m ignoring my cafe for this 
jess: G U Y S 
jess: don’t make me start calling people 
[19:51] ‘ara’ has entered the group chat
ara: i’m here!
jess: i don’t wanna have to repeat myseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelf 
[19:52] ‘megan’ has entered the group chat 
[19:52] ‘sina’ has entered the group chat
megan: please calm down 
sina: what happened?  
jess: pls hold and stay in the chat as i go make a latte for a customer and wait for at least nadine and saebom to show up bc they need to know
[19:53] ‘saebom’ has entered the group chat
saebom: here!
[19:55] ‘nadine’ has entered the group chat
nadine: minseok told me i needed to be here 
nadine: he’s watching telly 
nadine: and yelling at it, idky he likes muggle sports so much, honestly 
jess: is everyone here 
ara: yes? i’m with chanuk 
ara: actually he’s eating, but i’ll tell him if anything important happens
jess: okay nadine is with minseok it’s fine 
jess: OH MY GOD YOU GUYS WILL NEVER GUESS WHO JUST CAME IN AND ORDERED A ROUND OF COFFEES 
jess: HOLY SHIT 
jess: HOLY 
megan: was it hongbin 
jess: SHIT 
nadine: WAIT IT WAS HONGBIN? 
nadine: WHAT
nadine: WHAT IS HE DOING IN LONDON 
megan: wait what 
ara: guys
jess: what
megan: i was joking 
jess: well 
jess: no i fucking wish it was hongbin 
jess: i would ask him to marry me on the spot 
saebom: :< 
jess: shut up 
jess: you know i love him more :D 
jess: anyways 
jess: no 
jess: it wasn’t hongbin 
jess: i would rather it have been hongbin 
jess: i need to go to his next concert tho fr 
jess: think i could close the cafe for a week and go or 
ara: probably! if you think it’s worth it 
jess: everything is worth it for hongbin 
jess: saebom let’s go watch the concert
megan: okay but who did you see? 
jess: right 
jess: so imagine this 
nadine: why can’t you tell us like a normal person gdi
jess: i’m just behind the counter, it’s p chill rn so i have a book out and i’m just reading it, making sure all the customers are okay and stuff, and i have a latte with me and it’s all fine and dandy when the door opens and 
jess: FUCKING 
jess: HARRY 
jess: FUCKING 
saebom: WHAT 
jess: POTTER 
saebom: REALLY 
jess: WALKS IN??????????? 
saebom: NO WAY 
megan: oh my god really 
nadine: YOOOOOOOOOO 
saebom: MERLIN 
jess: SODDING HARRY POTTER 
jess: man he’s p attractive for someone so old tho 
jess: i can see why bom likes him 
saebom: um, he’s the saviour of the wizarding world, what other reason do i need? 
nadine: don’t you own like half of the collectibles they’ve released of him 
nadine: saebom loves harry potter 
[20:15] ‘nadine’ changed group chat name from ‘losers’ to ‘oh saebom: harry potter fanboy extraordinaire’
saebom: HEY 
sina: i can’t believe he wanted harry potter and settled for jess 
saebom: they were LIMITED EDITION 
jess: DO U WANNA GO 
jess: WHAT DO YOU MEAN SETTLED
saebom: jess is better 
jess: SINA LET’S TAKE THIS OUTSIDE 
jess: 1V1 ME RN 
sina: no it’s kinda cold outside 
jess: i’m gonna murder you in your sleep 
nadine: saebom get out 
jess: yeah saebom get out 
megan: hey pls stop trying to murder my husband
saebom: WHY ARE YOU BEING MEAN TO ME I WAS BEING NICE 
jess: he deserves it
jess: bc ur gross 
saebom: :< 
ara: guys 
ara: please stop fighting 
ara: jess please finish your story 
jess: oh right 
saebom: :< 
jess: STOP WITH YOUR SAD FACES 
[20:23] ‘jess’ changed the group chat name from ‘oh saebom: harry potter fanboy extraordinaire’ to ‘sina and saebom suck’ 
jess: anyways 
sina: i’ll catch up after 
sina: a student just came with a question 
sina: megan will update me! 
[20:26] ‘sina’ has left the chatroom
jess: he came in and i had to act natural and shit as if it wasn’t obvious i knew who he was the moment he walked in or anything 
jess: i’m going to fight him for real i swear
jess: and he ordered four cafe lattes 
jess: two flat whites 
megan: pls stop fighting my husband
jess: a caramel macchiato 
jess: three americanos 
jess: no i refuse to stop fighting sina
jess: and he bought four different danishes and six muffins 
jess: must be some auror meeting or something 
jess: BUT HE CAME TO MY CAFE FOR IT 
jess: AND IT WAS ONLY HIM? 
jess: WHY IS HE OUT BUYING COFFEES LIKE SOME INTERN??????????? 
nadine: i think they usually takes turns 
nadine: it must’ve been his turn and you were his pick 
ara: that’s so cool!
jess: I MEAN??????????????? 
jess: but you know what was 
jess: FUCKING WEIRD 
jess: he said he had wanted to try my cafe for ages now??????? 
megan: i think saebom is going to die of jealousy
jess: i’m going to DIE 
jess: IN GENERAL
jess: also saebom i got you an autograph 
jess: it even says “to saebom” 
saebom: WHAT 
[20:30] ‘nadine’ changed ‘saebom’s display name to ‘harry potter’s #1 fan’ 
harry potter’s #1 fan: HEY 
megan: she’s not wrong
[20:31] ‘harry potter’s #1 fan’ changed their display name to ‘saebom’ 
[20:31] ‘nadine’ changed the group chat name from ‘sina and saebom suck’ to ‘saebom luuurves harry potter almost as much as he luuuuuuurves jess’
jess: ew what the fuck
[20:32] ‘jess’ changed the group chat name from ‘saebom luuurves harry potter almost as much as he luuuuuuurves jess’ to ‘you guys all suck besides ara’
ara: you guys are so weird 
ara: i’m gonna go finish having dinner with chanuk before he eats everything 
ara: talk to you guys later 
[20:33] ‘ara’ has left the chatroom 
[20:33] ‘megan’ changed the group chat name from ‘you guys all suck besides ara’ to ‘guys please’ 
megan: i’m also going to go 
megan: this school won’t run itself 
megan: nadine we’re still on for lunch tomorrow? 
jess: HEY 
megan: and jess? i’ll message ara later 
nadine: yeah 
jess: ya 
megan: bye bommie 
saebom: bye nuna
[20:35] ‘megan’ has left the chatroom 
nadine: guess i’ll go too 
nadine: minseok finally stopped yelling at the telly 
nadine: gonna see if he wants to have ice cream
jess: why wouldn’t he want ice cream though 
[20:36] ‘jess’ changed the name of the group chat from ‘guys please’ to ‘ice cream appreciation crew even though megan is lactose intolerant’
nadine: right? 
[20:37] ‘nadine’ has left the chatroom 
jess: okay 
jess: are you picking me up? 
saebom: ofc i am 
jess: okay 
jess: some customers just came in 
jess: i’ll see you soon! 
saebom: okay 
saebom: i’ll head out now 
saebom: see you in 5?
jess: i’ll make you a coffee 
[20:42] ‘jess’ changed the name of the group chat from ‘ice cream appreciation crew even though megan is lactose intolerant’ to ‘saebom is aight’
jess: let’s buy ice cream tonight 
saebom: why are you like this 
jess: you love me 
jess: ♡
[20:45] ‘jess’ has left the chatroom 
saebom: that i do 
[20:46] ‘saebom’ has left the chatroom
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Indie & Rio
Indie: you 👀 this Rio: edie's snaps Rio: yes bitch Rio: so she gonna have a dog now, they setting up house Rio: where WHERE Indie: you know it in a whip Indie: if it any place Indie: wtf wtf Indie: he aint even got a nice ride & we all been knew Rio: he be driving without a license rn too Indie: he be driving w out his head on right fr Indie: you think im always high bitch Rio: I swear he been high since he been on the scene as a younger Rio: she makes a point of not dating lads her age but why if he only gon provide you what any waste of any age could Indie: i kno he has cos he come thru to me & drew when Indie: wasteman Indie: from day 1 Rio: exactly Rio: god Rio: saying poor dog but not even the point Rio: how she livin he stealing dogs for her now what Indie: we aint even gon be set to call any heads in cos we dont know where they @ Indie: cant say a 🐶 be stolen & holed up somewhere Rio: she lucky if someone don't clock Rio: it's a pup and it's clearly pedigree Rio: that's thousands, not to mention if they love it and all that fucked shit he ain't consider Indie: it probs chipped thats how mans do when they drop cash Indie: bet he aint thought Indie: he could go prison w drew if 🐶 are missed least get him away Rio: oh god Rio: i'll warn her, not that that'll be appreciated Indie: he should b anyway riding a girl her age at his that shit nasty Indie: get a wifey in your years Rio: i know Rio: surprised he ain't make her keep it on the low til her bday Indie: how your ma not merk him ages afore this Rio: you know how it is Rio: she gon do it anyway so don't fight her on it Indie: i kno she been tryna chase away any boy i ever been near & dey in my bracket Rio: yeah well you ain't gonna do something 10x worse when you questioned init Indie: bitch maybe Indie: if she gon have a dog in a car imma live how i want Indie: deal w it mama cavante Rio: don't even play Indie: she 🤡ing nuff for us all Indie: im vexed af Rio: seriously Rio: this is ridiculous Indie: u do kno she dating drew younger Indie: he buy shit to keep peace thats literally how it plays Indie: boy aint even as cute tho awks Rio: but worse Rio: at least drew isn't an addict, whatever else he got going on Indie: nah that just how he want his wifeys Rio: he should be proud Rio: twat Indie: i feel 😷 Rio: at least she admitted she's feeling on it Rio: buster tried to talk to her and got nowhere so Indie: how that boy exist Indie: 😇😇👑😇😇 Indie: get you a daddy who Rio: clearly she good like Indie: i aint even get a call back from the lad i want 👁👁👁 madness Rio: you wanna be wifed up by a lad like that, i think not Rio: he only got no chill cos that's how he livin' his whole life Indie: i want who i want Indie: he aint that Rio: exactly Rio: lord Rio: at least it ain't an actual baby Rio: 'cos that'll 'bout be it, like bye 💀 Indie: dont even chat it Indie: we aint need that possible in the universe Rio: 😶 Indie: u kno he aint ridin proper all the drugs he on Indie: no gettin hard Rio: as much as i ain't about u puttin that in my head i hope u right Rio: god Indie: i is Indie: i been round nuff customers to get the vibe Rio: yikes Rio: drew making a side hustle selling the little blue ones is it Rio: can't be dealing Indie: he should it y them boys so 💔💔💔💔 & vexed Rio: cracked it Rio: we'll do it and get the money Rio: is it prescription, not tryna go to jail with him Indie: hacks Indie: nah man it over counter Rio: nice Rio: so doing it, untapped market Indie: shame it aint work for girls too Indie: you could make more if it do Indie: 🤑🤑🤑🤑 Rio: i think there's a female one but bet that's still prescription, if even available here Rio: bullshit Indie: is it? Indie: if i been knew i coulda hit that w my ex Indie: 💔💔💔💔 Rio: yeah? Indie: he aint good i told you nah? Rio: i didn't know if it was just the first or what and i weren't tryna be too in your face at that time init Rio: not on speaking terms Indie: innit Indie: i been thought it me but i 👂ed others saying since he dashed me Rio: ha Rio: unlucky Rio: know he ain't trying and that's literally half the battle so he ain't gon' do better Indie: bitch if i tried any harder w it id have to pray Indie: waste Indie: 😭😭😭😭 Rio: aw baby Rio: happen when you ain't looking Rio: ma realness of the day Indie: but i want it to happen w the boy i 👀 everywhere in my circles Rio: is this science boy or another one? Indie: we aint tryna call him science boy but you kno Rio: okay gimme a better name i gotta keep track somehow Indie: he called zamari thats he name Rio: that's cute Rio: i'll probably remember that Indie: [sends screenshot of a snap so she can see his face] Indie: lookit Rio: aww Rio: sweet Indie: be sweeter if he was bout me Indie: but you kno Rio: no chance you reckon or what Rio: what's the vibe Indie: the vibe is he one of the boys now Indie: w the rest Indie: he aint see me like 😍😍😍😍 cos we ✌✌✌✌ Rio: I get you Rio: never know Indie: help me cos you 🔥🔥🔥🔥👑👑💖💖💖 Indie: aint no boy ever friended you how Rio: i have boy friends Indie: bitch where Rio: Rian Indie: please he wanna fuck you since he been known Rio: 😒 Rio: Still Rio: I got friends bitch Rio: I just been busy 😂 damn Indie: i aint tryna come for you i saying you a MILF i needs you to help me Indie: it been long & no thing i done work Rio: Hmm Rio: Maybe you gotta stop being friendly for a bit so he see you like that Rio: that way you know Indie: like stop showin him skate tricks? Rio: yeah Rio: start showing him other tricks Indie: but i aint have none Indie: how i gon do that Rio: just pretend Rio: he aint gone know Indie: i cant b like oi lads guess who know how to suck a dick it me Indie: we aint rollin w no girlie sleepover moves Rio: that ain't exactly what i mean 😂 Rio: just be more of a girl Rio: then they'll see it and fill in the gaps if they feeling it, you know Indie: 😒😒😒😒 Rio: what you poutin for Indie: why he not want me how i is Indie: rude Indie: this aint happen to me afore Rio: idk maybe he got a type Rio: don't take it personal, some people be so specific Indie: @mckenna Indie: 😂😂😂😂😂 Rio: exactly Rio: shows there's hope yet, just work out what he likes Rio: probably tell you cos you one of the boys Indie: there is this girl in science he 👀 @ when i looking toward him Indie: I just do how she do? Rio: Yeah Rio: but better, obvs Indie: [sends pic of the girl in question who is obvs more girly etc] Indie: can you do it bitch or nah Rio: 'Course I can Rio: though Grace would be gutted if you didn't let her in on the action too, like Indie: she gon own me w it Indie: but k 💄👗 Indie: we on it Rio: It'll be fun Indie: is it? 😒😒 Indie: when tho? Rio: you don't gotta Rio: n u don't need to but if you wanna get your mans Rio: it might work, boys are that dumb Rio: so whenever you wanna roll up on him Indie: imma do it but i aint vibin Indie: lets kick this now afore i think any harder on it & chat myself out Rio: you know this only good for a hookup yeah Rio: you ain't gonna makeover scene yourself for life Indie: naaah he gon get a taste and then he gon love me Indie: dont get me twisted Rio: Hmm Rio: expectation management baby Indie: he gon get himself a girl who do both Indie: 👑👑👑👑 Rio: slow your roll gurl Indie: 😂😂😂 Indie: wys i been waitin since he showed Rio: to ride him mayb Rio: you don't gotta go so hard for the d Indie: you want me to hit & quit now? Indie: damn ma Rio: nah you do you Rio: i just sayin if you wanna be w him then he gotta be about u for u Rio: goes without sayin but like Indie: so you not gon help me or you is? Rio: we gotta debrief harder on what this is and what you want Indie: 👌👌👌👌 Rio: just keep away from that tattoo gun this time yeah? Indie: 😂😂😂😂 you gotta chill ri ri its no thing Rio: nah Indie: nah? Rio: yeah but we dun had this argument then so we don't gotta now Indie: caraca bitch 😮😮😮 you gon do me like i aint learned Indie: i just want him i aint tryna head down no aisle w you & mckenna Rio: Nah, I know Rio: I'm just chatting on any more ink Rio: we're good Indie: his name aint fit in 💘 its all good Rio: 😒 shut up bitch Indie: you rude Indie: play w me Rio: I'm trying Rio: but her shit got me in no mood now like Indie: 💔💔💔💔 Indie: lets roll out somewhere some way Rio: where you wanna be Indie: idc Indie: far Rio: Okay Rio: I'll see what's on Rio: seeing as I do have friends, you know Indie: so you keep chatting 😂😂😂 Rio: 😒 Rio: lucky I don't have too many or I wouldn't roll w you would I 😜 Indie: bitch allow it Indie: im the most ✌✌ Rio: you certainly the most something Indie: innit tho Rio: 😂 Indie: tell yo friends baby 😏😏😏💘💘 Rio: You're chief Rio: also Jas and Kels are on pre-drinks now so you believe they exist enough to come or what Indie: i aint never said you w out squad Indie: just w out boyyys Rio: well they cramp your style how you gon meet boys when you surrounded init Indie: i aint had no issue w it babe Rio: 😑 Rio: you saying i'm dry Rio: i'm cool Indie: i saying what i been saying this whole they all 😍😍😍😍 cos you peng Indie: not tryna friend you when they can wife it Rio: they can't now tho Rio: soz about it lads 🤷 Indie: 💎💎💎 see from 🌚 Rio: You know it Indie: how you styled? Rio: Hmm Rio: I gotta see, my clothes are still all over Rio: Nothing too wild Indie: i feel that Indie: im clappin rn Indie: look & mood Rio: 😔 Indie: aint tryna have your mates think im dry crump Indie: gotta step in & up Rio: Nah they nice Rio: you know that kid in your year Rio: ugh, what do they call him Rio: O'Shea they last name, anyway, Kells is his sister Indie: !!!!!!!!!! Rio: Yeah but it'll be chill Rio: not trying wriggle into that fucking catsuit again and have you creasing 😂 Indie: i aint tryna help your drunk arse out again and be sweatin Indie: 😂😂😂😂 Rio: 😂 rude but fair Rio: actual mess Indie: how mckenna get under that? the boy is 👑👑🥇 Rio: i mean you can ask but you already worried peeps be getting the wrong idea about you, babe so Indie: girl please Indie: i aint worried bout no thing you hush Rio: 😏 is it Rio: ma be so proud Indie: wys Indie: it all good over here Rio: i saying she got a bisexual agenda Indie: 😂😂😂😂 Rio: gutted by how many straight kids she got Indie: she turned my ma i aint tryna follow in dem steps soz bout it Rio: 😂 Indie: kissed few girls but she aint need kno Indie: not bringin them home to meet Rio: Exactly Rio: Such a cringe, bless her Indie: her hair always be sick tho Indie: how she do it Rio: #blessed Rio: jammy bitch Rio: in the genes, obvs 🍀 Indie: im mad Indie: you aint tryna do me one solid drew is it Rio: you know you cute sh Indie: dash that Indie: 👾👾👾 Rio: what you talking bitch Indie: he got me lookin 👽👽👽 cos his dna Indie: vexin Rio: you don't look like an alien you mad Rio: if anything he's given you the looks, like Rio: literally bout the only thing Indie: nah Rio: 😡 Rio: where dis coming from Indie: im in the mirror bitch Indie: & my feelings Rio: you want me to sort your weave Indie: its chill Rio: you can't go out not feeling 💯 Indie: i been done that trust Rio: 😢 baby no Indie: you aint gotta amp it Indie: im w out a man stealing me any 🐶 for my woes Indie: just out here w it Rio: you got a 🐶 and you ain't need no man for no thing else either Indie: you kno Indie: how i mean it Rio: i know Rio: it's nice to have one about but only if they not a fuckboy Rio: otherwise it's just hassle, more than already you don't need, trust Indie: im just tryna feel caught up in a thing that aint walking the streets w this face wearing his name while everyone kno where drew is and he been livin Indie: i been stopped mad amount times today only Rio: makes sense Rio: i don't blame you Rio: this town always talks Indie: u think thats how science boy dont fuck w me Indie: he aint new now he been around & he kno Indie: ?? Rio: I don't reckon Rio: why'd he be that anti-drugs or like Rio: nah Indie: not 🚭 just anti waste Rio: not like he gotta hang w ur dad Rio: i don't see it Rio: would be fucked if he was Rio: you ain't drew, like Indie: but i be livin on top like him Indie: too hype maybe Rio: if he roll w u and ur squad he obviously about that life too Indie: idk man Indie: if you right you right Indie: 💖💖💖 ty for chattin me down from 👑👑 Indie: big love like Rio: don't be silly Rio: always Rio: 🧡 Indie: how much time it gon feel like this for us Rio: How you mean? Indie: will it be good again when i kno drews stretch or nah Indie: i aint tryna feel worse Rio: I don't know Rio: better for knowing exactly what's gonna happen Rio: it always helps Rio: not gonna make everything magically better like but least we know the plan, like Indie: least if he gets a few i can age out of him playin da Rio: yeah Rio: we'll see Indie: & you can get mckenna down the aisle w out him not holding his ☮ Rio: 🙄 Rio: christ, probably not making the guest list either way, like Indie: you gon do big & white or lowkey Rio: go big or go home init Rio: gotta be grown to have those funds Indie: 😂😂😂😂 i shoulda been knew Indie: mckenna aint do lowkey no time Indie: he got the 💸💸💸 tho so go off Rio: just tryna get out of the matching dresses, i 👀 Indie: allow it Indie: you aint want me to go out feeling less than 110 but you bout 🤡ing me in 💒 k k Rio: 😂 Rio: it's my big day, bitch 😉 Indie: yeah so how you want me in all the pics looking bare owned Indie: catch me 😒😒😒😒 in every frame bitch Rio: Obvs Rio: that's the kinda bitch I am Rio: long as I'm slaying, none of you hoes can be Indie: ruuude Indie: how i be hookin mckennas best man in 👗 nah Rio: thought you reckoned it'd be nance Rio: sure she'll think you look lovely 😘 Indie: i aint got enough years to be her type innit Indie: dont wear nuff 💄 either Rio: True Rio: least jailbait ain't her vibe or she'd be in real trouble rn Indie: catch her waiting to be sentenced w drew Indie: wild Rio: Bless Rio: she's doing better, I think Indie: is it? Indie: safe Indie: she getting her head shrunk still? Rio: yeah, well, she ain't asking me to go out on the piss with her as often like so Rio: must be Indie: 💖💖💖💖💖💖 Indie: more ri time for me Indie: sick Rio: You know Rio: so in demand 😘 Indie: innit tho
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intoxicatingswift · 4 years
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the 1:
God the line if my wishes came true it would've been you OK THAT HIT
this feels like a iftye but like folklore version
UGH THE BRIDGE ACTUALLY HIT why was this my exact mood yesterday I already called it I knew I needed this album
cardigan:
can i just say im here for taylors lower tone
A FRIEND TO ALL IS A FRIEND TO NONE ok facts
the Peter losing Wendy line really got me cuz that used to be a thing w me n some1 *cries*
chasing shadows in the grocery line nooo
this is like an other side of the door but folkmore IDK IT JUST REMINDS ME OF IT
the last great american dynasty:
god i had to restart it 3 times my fam r so noisy pls.
i really feel like the stripped back style of production really allows taylors lyrics and storytelling within songs to shine. like ive got the maddest mental images of screaming matches between Rebecca and bills family and small town style rumours passing from someone to another
mental music video basically and also u can see the strength of rebecca which is only paralleled by smth ive experienced from books/TV? imagine the skill it takes to tell such a story in a few minutes that people see in 358 pages or 12 1hr installations
EXILE YES BON IVER:
can u tell im excited for this one
ughhh his harmonies are always *chef's kiss*
side note this rly is pushing me and giving me a better sense of identity for the sort of music I want to make thank u Taylor 🥺
god taylor urs and bon ivers voices go together so beautifully u both know how to make a harmony so good
the metaphors are so.... UGH I LOVE
my tears ricochet:
im in love with the vocalising in the intro omg
if I'm on fire you'll be made of ashes too yes hunger games let's go (no for real I just re read it and loved it again so)
ok no the lyrics on this one just HIT me particularly even tho I'm gonna say that on every song OK
I feel like theres a lwymmd ref in here 😶
the line I didn't have it in myself to go with grace spoke to me like i feel like that was extracted directly from my brain
still can't believe we actually got a whole album wth
mirrorball:
MIRRORBALL U COUNTRY BEAUTY
this song just feels like calm vibes as a blanket, stolen kisses
bro.... i literally wrote half a song with the lyrics that have the same gist of the bridge the whole idea of the circus no longer existing and yet u still feel like u have to perform for that one person cause u need to prove that they made the wrong choice leaving i
seven:
God her voice is hauntingly beautiful here
and though I can't recall your face I still got love for you what a beautiful way to express that you're always loved by someone even if you're no longer close, you live in memories and that's 100% enough and you're enough
THE ENTIRE SECOND VERSE IS ME AND MY FRIENDS AS TEENAGERS? God that hurt especially bc the sentiment of my prev things applies to those same people
SHOUT OUT TO INDIA TAYLOR I FEEL SO SEEN RN LMAO
august:
ahhhhh we had cruel summer and now we have august
"lost in the memory" is one of my favourite lyrics anyway and now taylors used it i
did taylor find out like the story of my life 2016- present bc like this seriously hits the "you were never mine" and the emphasis on August i
OK THE BRIDGE WAS MEEEEEE OH MY GOD how do i write my shitty album when this *gestures to entire folklore aggressively* exists.
oh the outro :( whoever said this is taylors melodrama was onto smth fr
this is me trying:
just looking at the lyrics is this ootw; the next chapter 👁️👄👁️
this is so beautifully sad
you're a flashback in a film reel on the one screen in my town okkkkkkkkkkk wow 🥺
illicit affairs:
why do i feel like this is joe and tays story post met gala👁️
YOU SHOWED ME COLOURS IS SUCH A METAPHORICALLY DEEP AND BEAUTIFUL LINE HI OOTW REFERENCE
invisible string omg OK I claimed this one pre listen:
oh crap the colour references already spoke to me bc long ago I had a concept to link songs to colours
also the idea of storybook romance as well with the "used to think I'd meet somebody there"
i love the invisible string theory also oh my god
BAD BLOOD OMG this is such a random detail abt how Joe heard bad blood the first time he was in LA and I love it
LMAO not taylor getting recognised on their anniversary trip 😭
also can i just say the plucking strings keeping the same rhythm/volume the way through somehow contributes to the invisible string theory i loooooveeeeee the lyric/music matching here (did i just somehow compare this to vq matching? think so ok maybe there's hope for me as a medic yet 💀)
taylor rly said fuck adam tom and whoever else Joe is it
OK THE REFERENCES TO GOLD HI DWOHT
ALSO PURPLE PINK SKIES HELLO INTHAF AKA MY STAN SONG WHICH EVERYONE SLEEPS ON
safe to say i made a correct choice stanning this song pre listen ahahaah
mad woman:
the chords on this i am in love, the chaos of the string instruments yessss
here for the strength lol
this is i did something bad but quiet scary angry version
CALLED IT HELLO IDSB REFERENCE
ugh the delicacy in how the words are pronounced in the second chorus shows how hurt and strong u can be simultaneously
mirrored ofc by the soft piano and percussion of hand claps ugh taylor im so happy u made this album
epiphany:
im getting let it all go vibes from this also bon iver
oh it's coronavirus :( yeah
side note wear a mask this seriously was unprecedented and ik at my work (icu) while I was FT we had a couple boxes of antiviral ppe and I did a shift just as things got bad here and it was all completely gone. at the time we'd only had a couple query covid cases so pls. WEAR A MASK ESP U LOT ON THE TUBE/TFL RAIL
i feel like this song reflects how slow the pain can be when ur losing someone like literally watching their breaths slow and also the emotional pain.
betty:
omg this is one of the teenager love story three aaahhhhh it's so cute BUT I SERIOUSLY REMEMBER THE TEENAGE ANGST oh man i Really do
also hello country tay
ugh all ur stupid friends it seriously sounds like 17 year old boy 😭
peace:
LOVE THAT GUITAR RIFF YES AM SO HERE FOR THAT
I made good choices in the songs I chose pre listen all of this is literal poetry and I'm so glad I can focus on the lyrics more because of the production yes i know I already said that
DREAMSCAPES I LOVE THAT WORD I WAS JUST THINKING I NEED TO INCORPORATE IT INTO A SONG
the i-i-id in I'd swing with you for the fences, the delicacy in "give you a child"
now I see your brother as my brother hello paper rings reference (it's not even but yall know)
the rain (paps/media) can well and truly fuck off
"would it be enough if I could never give you peace" actual poetry.
hoax:
i love the dainty piano ugh that HIGH night
the octave differences on the chorus
don't want no other shade of blue hello paper rings
OK this one has a lot to unpack tbh i probably will pore over this like the English poetry i missed out on by choosing stem
also fuck kimberly lmao
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28-11s · 4 years
Text
i’m going to start off this post with an apology for disappearing again, especially before valentine’s day. i was trying to hold back from doing it so i could spend the 14th with you and finally ask you out on a date but my need to ghost prevailed and well. yeah. it’s been rough like it hasn’t been in months, (and i think you understood it since i haven't posted here in days) but i guess it is because i’ve been dealing with constant uneasiness? i’m actually not sure what’s wrong, though. do you ever feel anxious even when things are going well? like, you cannot sleep or focus on your work or do anything really because you’re too busy feeling overwhelmed? it’s horrible, especially when you cannot pinpoint the reason and so you end up just locking yourself away. we're going to blame mercury retrograde and not my mental health, tho. especially since sun and mercury are in pisces. 🤕 🤢 i’m sorry for being so distant both physically and emotionally and just... not being there for you. the worst thing about me ghosting is in fact not knowing what to say once i feel better. i can write here rather easily but the moment i have to dm you i feel awkward and guilty and i never know how to act... i’m not good at saying sorry but appearing randomly after days without saying anything makes me feel even worse, so i never know how to be. but anyway, that’s not what I want to talk about in this message. i needed to feel better the other day so i checked the padlet and found the message that you wrote a month ago… it hit me a lot and kinda really resonated with me. it sucks how late I saw it and I feel really bad since you opened up to me so well and idk, it’s like i looked down at your effort by not replying immediately, even though it was involuntarily. but i cannot just ignore it so here’s my (late) reply to all of that. first of all, let me tell you how much i appreciate the straightforwardness of that message. it gave me an input on how you have been feeling and it also made me feel closer to you, especially considering the fact that i can strongly relate. not gonna lie, I hadn’t cried (like, actually cried with sobs and all that shit) in months but i couldn’t even reach the middle of the message because i literally couldn’t see SHIT. knowing you have been struggling with these emotions is… devastating? to try and explain: it’s like the whole world came crashing down. this whole ghosting thing isn’t something i can actually get mad at you for, because i know how exhausting life can get and how comforting being alone can be. as you can see, i do that a lot, too…  which is why i make “excuses” for you. of course, when it gets to three weeks it stings and i do get annoyed at times . but it’s not something i will crucify you over? especially because it would be super hypocritical of me. so, please, don’t ever think that you’re “taking advantage of me” or whatever, because you’ve been nothing but amazing to me for the past years and i literally /know/ that i couldn’t do better than this even if i tried to. you’re one of the few good things in my life rn and if i haven’t gone completely insane yet is thanks to you too. and while i'm happy you do know that i sincerely treasure you a whole lot, i can't help but get worried because of you being insecure. you're human and like everyone else, you experience lack of confidence, and honestly i'm glad you told me about it. more than insecure, i’d say i’m way too paranoid for my own good. i often get ugly thoughts that try to make others look like they’re out to get me and i always have to stop, take a deep breath and remind myself that not everyone is trying to hurt me, but i also get those moments of "what if". what if i say this and sound weird or what if i talk too much about myself and make royal uncomfortable by coming off as vain. and there are times where i hesitate or straight up don’t post on the blog because i don’t want to burden you with /my/ emotions, so i understand that too well. but we've talked about this so many times: we both have to fix these problems, but you know it won't happen overnight and every single little step counts, even if it requires lots of courage and trust. i don't think you realize how happy it makes me when you reach out randomly or open up to me directly. it makes me feel trusted, worthy and useful, so please don't villainize yourself for being human and wanting to share your feelings with others. you're far from being toxic and you need to finally understand that you're not putting any kind of pressure on me and being able to help you, even if just by listening, helps me as well. we deal with situations and feelings that are similar and i've found a solution to my problems the times we've opened up to each other. but lol. that part right there about you being self serving pissed me off so fucking bad, you have no idea. when i say i cannot find a single flaw in you, i mean it. i know it might sound fake or exaggerated but it's true. you’re one of the kindest and most selfless people i know and it's hard to even imagine you as selfish or “self serving”. i want you to think for a minute. do you think you’ve ever done anything to me to get you the title of self serving? i have a really good memory when it comes to you and i can assure you are far from being that. you have NEVER asked for anything, you have NEVER made me feel wrong or treated me badly. obviously i don't know what happened in your previous relationship and even after * dmed me to befriend me and then ask me to deliver you that message, i’ve been meaning to ask you about your dating history since i don’t think i have ever seen you as upset as you were those times, but it felt like i was being nosy and out of place so i just sucked it up and moved on. ngl though, i have been curious about it. both because i want to learn something new about you and because i want to be prepared. i told you about keo and how he mostly affected my self-esteem, so i kinda feel bad for not knowing about what has affected /you/ in the past. folds hands. let me also add something. me being scared of confrontation isn’t an excuse for us to avoid talking directly about certain things. if we keep on avoiding any kind of serious talking 1) i’ll never learn how to deal with it 2) i think we’ll be missing out on a huge part of relationships and on the long run it will show. and i’m not exactly scared of confrontation. i’m scared of hurting you by saying something wrong. i get so defensive /and/ passive aggressive for no reason when i feel the mood shift and it makes me say really mean things just to get a reaction out of people. but i’ll never be able to fix it if i don’t start talking with my own partner. but still. you’ll have to be the one to bring it up if you want to because i’m still a scaredy-cat after all and i’ll never start anything. <3 you have also talked about me deserving better and it reminded me of all the times i’ve said you do deserve someone better and you said that you don’t care because i’m the one you want. it goes both ways, really. there is someone out there for me, even more than one person, but just like there is someone else out there for you too. but it literally does not matter to me if someone is waiting, because i don’t want them. i want You. you're the love of my life and my best friend and i seriously cannot imagine my life without you. i can promise you that i will be here by your side. we can be scared of being vulnerable together. LMFAOOOOO WHY IS THIS SO LONG I'M SO SORRY FUCK AND I AM NOT EVEN DONE SINCE YOU POSTED ANOTHER MESSAGE ON THE PADLET AND I WANNA REPLY TO THAT TOO. yes it takes me days to reply to one (1) singular message yes i live like this. anyway the latest message put me in such a good mood. your care package isn't here yet but i can already tell that it is going to work perfectly. but?! your hobby is literally naming pets after food or things and honestly? i respect that life. i still remember when you talked about wanting to get a cat to name it pancake. 🥺 i hope you took pictures of your friend's dog, though. 😡 and on god i knew something was gonna happen to you. kisses your wrist and puts a bandaid on it. the fact that you're still running around sleep-deprived and with a sprained wrist is so You. fucking sagittarius sun gemini rising headass. but OMFG I USED TO LISTEN TO THAT SONG WHEN I WAS A KID. you brought back so many memories. </3 while my baby was being a busy bee, i was busy being Lazy. my week has been kinda ok? i've been spending my days watching stuff on netflix but now i'm sad because i saw a possible spoiler of the drama that i am currently watching aND . I DIDN'T SPEND THE LAST FOUR DAYS CRYING FOR THEM TO PULL THIS SHIT. also since there is straight up a coronavirus outbreak in my region, all the schools are closed and the shops have to close down at 6pm so i don't have to work at the office this week! a win! kinda! if we ignore the reason why i can stay home! will that stop me from going out though? absolutely not. x today i went to the gym despite the warnings lolz and i even passed out so fr who's doing it like me! then i went grocery shopping and i napped for like 6 hours. i had an appointment with my old school's head master scheduled for tomorrow since we have to talk about uni and stuff but they cancelled it :/// so i'll spend my day maybe doing some work and Sleeping. anyway. this message is a big mess but  i mith you so bad and i feel so shitty for disappearing and i'm over being a ghost so! we're sleeping together tonight. :)
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