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qcomicsy · 1 year

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Phrases I bet were said on the Wayne Manor without context.

Duke *looking at Dick while he puts his coffee on the breakfast table*: So you're telling me that superman was your stepdad?

Dick: He was NOT my stepdad.

Duke: HE TOOK YOU AND BRUCE TO BOWILING!

Dick: He was being nice!

Duke: MY BROTHER IN GOTHAM THAT'S A DATE-

Alfred: Master Tim ..... Wheres your spleen?

Jason (To duke): Oh yeah shit you haven't died-and-brought-back yet- So...

Tim: Now if you beat me- It's a hate crime.

Duke (to Jason): See? this is why you died without ever having felt the touch of a woman.

Damian (to Tim): I couldn't care less if your friends are coming over for diner, Alfred the cat it's not leaving this table.

Steph (To Bruce): You just mad because I me and Tim used to make out on the Batcave

Bruce (to Tim): You what?

Damian: ... No I don't care if it's homophobic Iwill break his hand if he touches my Utena collection again.

Jason (to dick): whY IS THIS MF ALWAYS HERE?! DON'T YOU HAVE A JOB-

Tim (to Damian): Have you ever had this days where you feel like nothing

Damian (to Tim): "hAveE yOu eVeR hAd ThEsE. dAyS-" Go find someone who gives a shit.

Bruce (To 29 year old Dick): I will not ask again get out of this chandelier right now-

Bruce (To 10 year old Dick): No I cannot refund you that's not gow it works-

15 Year old Dick (To Bruce): HE'S NOT MY BROTHER ... (To Wally on his phone) Yeah I can't go today I have to watch my stupid brother.

Jason Todd (To a very very scared Bernard): Have you ever killed someone?

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aurora-borealis00 · 8 days

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Stupid head canon I came up with

When a member of the Wayne family gets married, they first get married at the Gotham court house. So that no matter how publicized their wedding is they still have a moment of just them.

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teapartiesandfandom · 1 year

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duke will bat his eyes at bruce and literally anything he wants (he does use this for chaos and evil)

#duke thomas #bruce wayne #batfamily headcannons #batfam headcanons #batfamily headcanons #batfamily

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dibs4ever · 1 year

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#dickbabs #batfamily instagram #batfamily headcannons #batfam imagine

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mr007pennyworth · 2 years

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Pretty sure this is as close as I can get...

#mr007pennyworth #batfamily headcannons

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oldmannapping · 8 months

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HC: Everyone in Crime Alley knows who Red Hood is.

They don’t know he’s Jason Todd but

-Norma Marshall knows that the young man who sporadically stays in the apartment across the hall from her, who fixed the building’s heating for free, is the Red Hood. She’s heard him coming back at all hours. She leaves him care packages with homemade chutney and Bandaids because she doesn’t have much but she knows his work is dangerous. Some loud angry men were banging on his door one day and she hid behind her door throwing eggs at them until they left.

-Brent Taylor knows that the guy who installed the security system for the youth LGBTQIA+ safe space centre is the Red Hood. He just showed up one day after they’d had their fifth vandalised window in three weeks, and set it up for nothing. Called it a civic duty. That same night, known Red Hood crew members started loitering purposefully in the area, escorting kids to the centre if they were too shy or scared to come alone.

Brent saw the guy about a month later, leaving a grocery store and ducking into an apartment building nearby. He’s pretty sure he knows where the Red Hood lives, but he’s not saying a fucking word.

-Angela Walters knows that the man who donates to the homeless shelter twice a month is the Red Hood. She knows that the Hood has a connection to the streets and his donations are always thoughtful and practical - not the generic canned corn most people throw into a box. His donations started at the same time as the anti-homeless bus shelters were dismantled by the Red Hood gang and replaced with traditional long benches.

She’s had police sniffing around asking questions before. She sent them on a wild goose chase on the other side of the city and actually got a little bit of a thrill out of it.

-Carla Moreno (street name Liza) knows that Red Hood is a guy with a hard jaw and white streak in his hair. Hood had been running off a John who’d been rough with Miley and the guy had gotten a lucky shot at the helmet with a brick. The girls pulled a dazed Hood into a nearby alley while the John ran off, and he’d taken off the broken helmet.

It was dark and he was wearing a domino mask, but pair the hair with his build and it was a pretty distinctive look. Carla knows that if she tried, she could find him. She doesn’t; she just compliments him on his upgraded helmet when she sees him a few weeks later.

-Ernesto Reyes knows that he’s the Red Hood’s mechanic. The guy calls himself Jay, is chill, and chats to Ernesto in easy Spanish when he comes to pick up his bike, but come on. Everyone in Crime Alley knows that bike. Ernesto’s had to fix bullet holes. Jay’s bike helmet is fucking red. The guy’s either dumb as fuck, cocky as fuck, or a dramatic shithead but either way he pays well and Ernesto’s had worse customers. He’s not telling anybody anything.

Meanwhile Jason’s just like “DOOP DI DOO sure is good to be a super sneaky crime lord ha Ha I’m so much better than Batman”

#headcannons #batman #jason todd #red hood #gotham #crime alley #batfamily headcanons #Jason Todd is Latino headcanon #I’m gonna end up writing this as a fic aren’t I #I mean unless someone else wants to do it #latino jason todd #bat family

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hana-no-seiiki · 1 month

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this is prolly the only fem! reader i’m ever writing with batfam in this blog. enjoy.

(implicit) yandere batfam x dommy mommy! reader

— in which these men realize you were far more than just an assistant

Galas were fun at times. But when forced to attend such repetitive events in addition to their vigilante work — well it was safe to say, it was not boding well for their sanity.

You worked as a general assistant for the BatFamily. As Alfred’s daughter, you endeavored to ease your father and his employers’s lives. You were a sweetheart. An absolute angel. The loveliest lady to ever exist.

Until you were pushed past the brink of your limits, stress wise, of course.

The whole Jason coming back from the dead and Bruce being dead took a massive blow to your sleep schedule. The boys took it as an opportunity to blur the lines between work and personal life. Slowly inserting themselves into your day to day outside of what you tirelessly scheduled for them.

So when a villain managed to break into the Batcave while you were there all on your lonesome (took a while for you to schedule every single one of them so that they’d be too busy to bother you), you didn’t take it all too kindly.

By the time the boys got back home, they were only privy to the following things

(1) You were a lot stronger than what you appeared to be. If the footage of you absolutely decimating the man wasn’t already a sure sign there was also the fact that you managed to somehow replicate a lot of the moves the boys would learn during training. Must have been something Alfred drilled into you as extra measure.

(2) You were a lot more menacing and sadistic when stressed.

The intruder looked at you with pleading eyes. His face black and blue. Could you blame yourself? You only had one night of peace and this man ruined it.

You sighed. He seemed to be incapacitated enough. Pulling out the chair to the iconic Batcomputer, you took a seat and pondered.

Bruce gave you access to all the alcohol you would need to ease the stresses of life. Might as well you shrugged.

You slowly took off the stockings Dick gifted you a while back. It was a prototype of his merch he said. You knew it was just because he really wanted to see you in fishnets. Then, you used the tip of your toe to raise the intruder’s head to face you.

You paused for a moment, remembering how Tim would often look through the cameras old footage on his free time. His overworking and stalking habits are really be something you work on.

The thought of him seeing the way you act momentarily froze you.

But the alcohol in your system begged to differ.

“Make it up to me, and I’ll let you go.”

Eh, you’ll deal with Tim and Damian scolding you for your unhealthy habits later. And your dad’s sermons on professional behavior.

And whatever mess Jason makes you clean up for the night too.

The boys watched the footage with bated breath and tighter pants at your actions. This was a side they’ve never expected from you.

You poured a drink of your choice down your thighs and legs. The liquid slowly dripped down the skin of your calves and ankles before it reached the tip of your toe.

“What kind of an assistant would I be if I didn’t give a guest a drink?”

And (3)

They would kill to be that man.

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thief-of-eggs · 11 months

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Tim coming out to his brothers

Tim: Guys…. I’m bi

Jason: Bi polar?

Tim: Well, yes actually, but-

Dick: Bi lingual?

Tim: Also yes, but-

Damian: Bipedal?

Tim: Yes- what? Why wouldn’t I- ok now you’re just messing with me-

Duke: Bicycle?

Tim: [with his face in his hands] Bisexual. I’m bisexual guys

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p0ssym1lker · 1 year

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Damian befriends Danny after Bruce said something about "civilian friends"

Considering Danny looks like a feral cat on his best days, it was only logical to befriend him

Danny wonders why such a tiny (Damian is in fact quite tall for his age but Danny deals with so many eldtrich "horrors" everyday that everything seems tiny) kid is going around and befriending obviously older teens

One day Damian announces that he will bring over his friend which makes the rest of the batclan look at him in disbelief

So of course they are quite shocked when Damian actually brings a human being! A bit raggedy looking but he also quite obviously looks after Damian as good as he can

Damian refuses to let Danny be adopted because it's his friend, you can't take it away from him! (also in his mind Danny still equals to a feral cat he barely managed to bribe into the home, they are gonna scare him off at this rate!!)

A lot of shenanigans happen but Damian thinks the worst of worst is the fact that drake had started to flirt with his cat friend! Preposterous!

It takes them an embarrassing amount of time to realize Danny used to be a vigilante and they are still in the middle of getting Damian out of the cat mindset so it gets put out of mind

#dc x dp #danny fenton #dp x dc #danny phantom #dc #batclan #batfam #batfamily #tim drake wayne #tim drake #tim x danny #i cant remember the ship names #damian wayne #headcannons #i got more ideas #like how dick and jason reacted

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qcomicsy · 1 year

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I am in my angst today so I'm going to drop a few of ansty Batfam headcannons.

- Bruce till this day do that father thing of open the door of his kids room to see if they're sleeping and then closing (even when they're just visiting).

- The first time he did that to Tim, Tim pretended to be asleep and then he just started sobbing because Jack used to do the same thing too, and his mother before him.

- Dick, when he moved out of the manor, still would use the Batcomputer to do research from time to time. Everytime he slept on from tiredness he would woke up with Batman's cape on his shoulders.

- No one knows Bruce has a good singing voice other than Dick and Jason because he would sing to their sleep, sometimes, when they had nightmares.

- He stopped singing when Jason died. The only person who was able to hear him sing again was Damian. He pretended to be asleep, because if he opened his eyes he would noticed how much he misses his mother.

- Jason singed to Damian sleep once at the league. None of them remember that.

- Damian tries constantly to assure himself that he could take down every member of his family if he needed to. Deep down he knows he can't.

- Bruce spent weeks trying to master how to cut someone's hair ( with Alfred's help ) so he could give Dick a haircut, because Dick said to him that his mother used to cut his hair.

- Bruce taught every single one of his sons how to shave their beard.

- Bruce had a mental breakdown once because he was starting to forget his mother's face.

- Cass overanalyze everyone's body language to see if they're healthy and happy. She tries to stop herself sometimes because more often the answer is no.

- Sometimes Tim flinches when Jason moves to fast near him. They never talked about that out loud.

- Sometimes Damian's hand tremble when he grabs his sword, he can still feel the blade.

- In one of Dick's worst fights with Redhood the moment he got home he threw up. His brother's eyes used to be blue like his and not green.

- There was a time where Jason was so happy that Bruce's blue eyes were the same shade of his.

- Bruce's hands still tremble when he sees his children on the battlefield.

- Bruce has a habit of messing with his children's hair, every single one of them picked the same habit after him.

- When Dick moved out to the Titans Bruce couldn't sleep for weeks.

- Jason avoids to change clothes in front of his brothers because of the face Dick made when he saw his autopsy scars for the first time.

- One time Jason had a panic attack and misdialed Tim's number, Tim stayed on the line until Jason managed to sleep.

- There's times where Bruce says the word Robin and all of them look at him.

#batfam hc #Batfamily headcannons #I'm *IN* my feelings so *EVERYONE* must suffer too #'oh but in the cannon' I don't care leave me alone #the source is that I made the fuck up #batfamily #batfam #jason todd #tim drake #bruce wayne #cassandra cain #damian wayne #alfred penyworth #dick grayson #jack drake #DO *NOT* TAG THIS AS BATCEST I swear tO GOD-

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the-atlas-sister · 10 months

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Y/N: *being held in police custody* Dick: The fuck? Y/n: I punched a minor. Dick: THE FUCK?!?! Jason: Hell yeah.

#jason todd x reader #jason todd #dick grayson x reader #dick grayson #bruce wayne #batfamily incorrect quotes #batfamily #batboys headcanons #headcannons

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teapartiesandfandom · 2 years

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The Batkids™️ vs Jeans

Dick:

This is a bell bottoms man. He loves the flair and the dramatics of them not to mention the retro vibe. Dick made discowing and the mullet™️ a thing in the dc universe. He loves retro styles and he isn’t afraid to say it!

Jason:

Literally anything but bell bottoms. He hates them partially because of Dick and partially because they don’t seems practical to him. Jason sticks to thrift stores so he favors wide leg styles of pants just cause they’re more practical. Loves black jeans (punk ass nerd /aff)

Cass:

No. Just no. She hates jeans so much. They aren’t stretchy or moveable like leggings, don’t allow ease of movements like skirts. If Cass has to wear them, she’ll wear cargo pants instead or maybe you can catch her in skinny jeans.

Duke:

🎵 He was a skater boy, she said, “see you later boy” 🎵 My mans loves skater styles. He likes big rips, wide leg jeans that still fit. Duke wants to be comfortable and fashionable more than anything else so his style really reflects that

Tim:

Emo boy. He only wears skinny jeans, tight as fuck skinny jeans. I love tim but he does not have a sense of fashion of what so ever. When there’s a gala, he isn’t allowed to leave the house without duke’s approval

Damian:

Will stab you. Damian grew up in soft comfortable and functional clothes. He doesn’t like jeans, and is more likely to wear a dress, especially around the comfort of the manor. He really doesn’t give a fuck if other people don’t like it

#damian al ghul #damian wayne #damian al ghul wayne #duke thomas #dick grayson #cassandra cain #jason todd #tim drake #batfam #batfamily #batfam headcanons #batfamily headcannons #batfamily headcanons

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dibs4ever · 2 years

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#dickbabs #batfamily headcannons #batfam texts

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the-mumbo · 1 year

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Jason and Roy have a biological child. How it happens is unimportant for this headcannon.

But the kid is a red head, and anyone who passed 10th grade biology knows where I’m going with this.

Dick: wow! Look at that hair. Even yours isn’t that bright

Roy: ya she’s got a head full of fire

Dick: guess your genetics are pretty strong

Roy: oh no that’s all Jay

Dick: but Jason has black hair

Jason: Harper I want a divorce

#jason todd #incorrect quotes #bat family #dick grayson #roy harper #jayroy #headcannons #batfamily headcanons #jayroy headcannon

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lizardpersonyknow · 11 months

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Pls someone write a fic ab Damian deciding he's a Drake and bonding with them and then Jack drake is like "you can have any animal you want so long as you take care of it!" And then he tells Damian all about that animals ancient historical significance. Like I just want him to be a feral child who adopts this family and they look at him and say Same Hat!!!!!!

#tim drake #batfam #damian wayne #incorrect batbros #dick grayson #feral tim drake #incorrect batfamily quotes #tim drake wayne #batfamily headcanons #batman #Jack drake #my fave headcannon is that jack drake genuinely is what bruce wayne pretends to be #the himbo of the century #look i just want tim to be feral #eating worms living his best life #and damian is a ber similar if not the same flavour of feral #the writers made them argue bc theyd be too strong together #thats why no comic with them both in has mentioned discowing because they would band together and eat bugs

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cowsaremyhappyplace · 10 months

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I have this head cannon that duke and damian are basically best friends and chaotic as fuck. Like they're the only two (I think) that actually live at the manor full time so they just end up getting close. Also they're the youngests and I'm sure they take advantage of that 24/7.

#dc #batman #batfamily #duke thomas #damian wayne #the signal #dc robin #headcannons #damian wayne & duke thomas

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