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kaciidubs · 5 months

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The Summoning | Spooktober 2023

❣ Summary: Desperate times called for desperate measures, and you may have just summoned the most desperate measure of them all. ❣ ❣ Word Count: 1.16k ❣ Warnings: Demon! Jisung, humor, smut, Reader is a wee bit sassy, Switch! Reader, Switch! Jisung, implied multiple rounds, riding, open ended ❣ ❣ Female! Reader [No use of Y/N] | You/Your pronouns ❣ ❣ Additional Tags: Han is referred to as Jisung, Ji, Baby, and Sir, Reader is referred to as Jagi, and Baby, barely edited, there's basically no plot ❣ Stray Kids Masterlist ❣ General Masterlist ❣ Spooktober 2023

You were sure you followed the incantation properly, the candles were at the right points on your - albeit crudely drawn - sigil and the pronunciation of the Latin words were damn near spot on with the YouTube video you kept bookmarked.

So, why wasn't there currently a tall, burly demon standing in front of you, ready to snatch your soul in more ways than one?

"What the fuck?"

Standing before you, looking just as confused as you were, was a man - a man - with admittedly gorgeously styled hair, an all black outfit that some how highlighted his slim figure, and a golden cross chain hanging from his neck.

Ironic.

"What- Where-" His eyes scanned frantically around your room before settling on you, still knelt at the head of the summoning circle. "Who are you and how did you do that?! Where am I even at? Who are you?"

You bristled at his constant questioning, eyebrows furrowing, "I should be asking you who you are! I was hoping for some sort of scary horny demon who was ready to blow my back out, not whoever you are!"

"Horny demon? Blow your- Hold on, hold on." He pressed his hands to his face, muttering under his breath though you weren't able to catch what he was saying. "You... You tried summoning a demon for sex? Are you insane?!"

"No, I'm horny." You deadpanned, crossing your arms over your chest, "And you're one to judge, since you came here!"

The demon dropped his hands, eyes wide and lips - cute, plush-looking, and kissable - set in a pout, "I didn't come here on my own! You summoned me, remember?!"

Groaning, you glanced toward the notebook with your summoning notes written in it, "I guess, even though you weren't what I was expecting at all." Looking up at him again, you shrugged, "Well, if you aren't going to satisfy anything, you can just - I don't know, poof back to hell or wherever you came from?"

He froze, mouth opening and closing with stammers that made you raise an eyebrow inquisitively. "I... Well, I can't."

"Huh?"

"I can't leave until I, um... Satisfy your needs."

If you looked hard enough, you could've seen the faintest blush rising on his cheeks.

"D-Don't get this wrong, either!" He shouted, quickly falling into the defensive, "I literally can't, it's in the incantation, I'm bound to you until I satisfy the contract of your summon."

There was a beat of silence between you, the cogs in your head working double time as you processed his words and all their double entendre meanings.

"So... You're stuck with me until you-"

"-blow your back out, yes."

Sure, he may not have been the big scary demon you were hoping for, but you couldn't deny that he was attractive and he looked like he'd be a pretty good lay. Besides - when would you be able to say you summoned, and fucked, a demon?

Pushing yourself up from your knelt position, you brushed off your knees with an exaggerated huff, "Alright then," you put your hands on your hips, smirking at the brunet in front of you, "fuck me."

Within the next ten minutes you learned a few new things; the first being that his name was Jisung - or at least, that's what you caught amidst his heavenly soft lips moving rapidly against your own. The second was that there was a specific way demons operated when it came to summons, and your chant just so happened to bind onto him. The third was that he had extremely sensitive ears, and for someone so sure about initiating things, he was a mere gentle breeze away from folding to your command.

And boy, did he fold.

"Oh, fuck me-"

He laid underneath you, hair an unforgivable mess thanks to your restless fingers and face wrapped in sheer pleasure as you rode him like a woman possessed; the springs in your mattress protesting in kind.

"Fuck- Fuck, Jagi, just like that."

"I can't tell," you huffed, breaking away from your assault of the pretty skin of his neck, "if you're the one who's supposed to be fucking me," your fingers slid from his hair and to his shoulders, slowly dancing their way down to his nipples, "or if I'm the one fucking you."

"I-I tried, but you-" a whimper fell from his lips as you gently pinched at the small, perked nipples, "-didn't even g-give me a chance!"

"Give you a chance? Baby," your movements changed to slow grinds of your hips, a sinister smirk growing on your lips from the way his pouted lips fell into a small 'o'. "I gave you permission to take me, use me as you wished - show me the reason why my summon worked on you." Leaning down, your lips grazed over his, "Show me why I chose you."

The air shifted around you, sparks of excitement shooting down your spine as you felt him shiver underneath you - your only sign of a physical change before you were suddenly rolled onto your back with ease.

There was no point in hiding the delighted giggle that floated from your mouth, not when it was subsequently followed by a shocked gasp as you took in the man - or rather, demon, before you.

His irises were a deep red, rivaling the prettiest of roses, while a set of horns curled from the sides of his head before curving up at his temples, the sharp points looking more inviting than they should have been.

Your pussy clenched at the smirk he wore, teeth bearing points that surely weren't there before.

"Why you chose me, Jagi?" Jisung spoke, the newfound low register in his tone wrapping around your mind and rendering you utterly defenseless. "Want me to show you why I'm the only one worthy of ruining this little pussy? Give you the treatment you got down on your knees for?"

His hands found your thighs, sliding down to your knees to hook your legs around his lithe hips before pressing forward, sinking whatever inches escaped you back into your slick cunt.

"Well?"

Taking that as your warm invitation to speak, you nodded quickly, "Y-Yes."

He tsked, loose strands of hair falling before his eyes as he shook his head, "Yes?"

"Yes, Sir." The title fell from your lips effortlessly, almost as if it was waiting to be used all along - natural.

His smirk grew wider, and you found yourself wishing he'd show you the delicious contrast of his sharp teeth and his pillow-soft lips, if only for a moment.

Anchoring onto his knees, Jisung cocked his head as if to process the simple addition of one word, "Sir... That's a good start, baby - keep it up and I might have to stay even when the contract's up."

From that moment on, the only chant you needed was his name, your sigil now in the form of your nails on his back, and whenever you summoned him, he came - and so did you, many, many times.

✧. ┊Tagged lovelies: @goblinracha, @having-an-internal-crisis-rn, @midnightfrog625, @anyhow-everything, @bangchanbabygirlx, @sweetracha, @j-onedrabbles, @happilydeepestwonderland, @nightimescapes, @caitlyn98s, @ch4nn13luv, @ihrtlix, @sometimesleeknows, @jeonjungkookenthusiast1997, @maximumkillshot, @y-ur--i, @acker-night, @dreamescapeswriting, @specialstay, @broken-glowsticks, @s00buwu, @dancerachaslut, @junglyric, @tinyelfperson, @jj-stay, @katsukis1wife, @inlovewithmusician, @keen-li, @armystay89

✧. ┊Kinktober only: @selicua

✧. ┊If your username is in bold italics that means tumblr won't let me tag you. If you’d like to be added to the taglist, fill out this form!

#skz smut #stray kids smut #han jisung smut #han jisung x reader #Demon! Jisung #Demon! Han

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lovesodakid · 1 month

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shut up and listen

matt x fem!reader

summary: matt and y/n have had a certain rivalry for years. all the pent up sex frustration finally comes out one night at a party the triplets hosted.

warnings: smuttt…., drinking?, dom!matt (ish). don’t like, don’t read🤷‍♀️.

____________________________________________

influencers and random strangers fill the room as the sound of different songs thump and bounce off of the walls.

the triplets hit 6 million on youtube a couple of weeks ago, so naturally, they threw a party to celebrate. since they were in boston when they hit it, they waited until they returned to los angeles to throw it.

i’ve known the triplets since i moved to california around a year and a half ago. nick was the first one to notice me, he replied to one of my instagram stories one sunny friday afternoon, we immediately hit it off. once he heard i was moving to la, he practically begged me to come over sometime to meet his brothers, so after finally getting comfortable in my new apartment in the hectic city, i met them for brunch.

just as expected, nick and i instantly connected. we took up most of the conversations that happened that day. i hit it off pretty well with chris. we have a few of the same interests which allowed us to get along extremely well. matt on the other hand, didn’t speak to me at all. instead, he just glared at me the whole time. if looks could kill, you might as well have buried me feet under right then and there.

after that, the more i got comfortable enough with nick and chris the triplets, the more i began to hang out with them. in the beginning, matt would just vocalize how much he hated my outfit, my shoes, or how my hair was done that day. i wouldn’t give him the time of day, as i’d usually just ignore him.

over time, it became irritating how much he’d talk down on me, so needless to say, i began fighting back. which quickly led to us bickering back and forth all the time as we’d throw rude words and comebacks to each other, in hopes of hurting the other one enough to get them to leave the other alone.

which is what’s happening at this very moment.

“god you are so annoying!” i yell as i push him away from me, making my way to the kitchen. i need a drink if im going to be dealing with mr. ‘negative all the time’.

“it’s not my fault you decided to show up in a small ass dress.” matt shouts back over the music, seemingly following closely behind me.

“why does it matter what i show up in? it’s my body. so im pretty sure i have a say-so in what i choose to wear.” i shoot back as i grab a bottle of cheap vodka, pouring it into a plastic throwaway cup.

matt’s face scrunches up in disgust.

“you aren’t getting wasted at my party.”

“no, im getting wasted at your brothers party.” i correct him before patting his shoulder, making my way into the living room.

as i walk further into the living room, i notice nick and a couple of other influencers standing in a hurdle talking to one another. i cautiously make my way towards them in hopes i don’t interrupt on any conversations that may be going on.

“y/n! hey!” nick exclaims excitedly, ushering me over.

“hey!” i gleam back as i stand right beside him.

“are you having fun?” he asks, looking down at me.

“as much fun as i can with mr. ‘big mouth’ always having something to say.” i roll my eyes, obviously talking about matt. who else?

“yeah im sorry about him.” nick says as he gives me an apologetic smile.

i just shrug my shoulders in response as i take a sip of the alcoholic beverage in my cup.

i never really understood why matt didn’t like me. im convinced he’s hated me the second he laid his eyes on me. for what reason? i have no clue. i think he finds happiness in life from making my life miserable every second im around him.

as im freely dancing, enjoying the effects of the alcohol. i feel someone come up behind me.

“hey.”

i turn around to meet a cute guy, who looks kind of familiar, but i can’t really place it.

“hi.” i say back, giving him a soft, half lidded smile.

“i don’t think i’ve seen you before, what’s your name?” the blonde haired stranger asks.

“oh-im y/n,” i slur my words. “im friends with the triplets.”

“oh okay.” he nods, eyes scanning up and down my body. which almost immediately makes me regret wearing a dress that my ass hangs out of.

i push my lips into a thin line as i nod back, looking down at my hands as i fiddle with them.

“you wanna go somewhere more quiet? y’know to talk. i can barley hear anything in here.” he suggests, leaning down to hear my response.

it’s as if my body reacts before my brain can even process what the dude is saying before im already nodding and taking his hand for him to lead me to a “quieter place”.

he leads me towards the hallway. the hallway where matt’s bedroom, bathroom, and the laundry room is.

we stand outside the bathroom, my back pressed against the door as he stands in front of me.

“so where are you from?” he asks, putting one of his hands beside my head, leaning on it as he lowers his head.

“um…florida..” i answer, hesitantly.

“mhm..” he hums, moving his head closer to mine until his lips barely ghost over mine.

i clear my throat in hopes of sending him a message that im clearly not interested in making out in front of the bedroom of the person i despise the most. or just the fact im not interested in making out at all.

when i feel him backing up, i let out a sigh of relief until i notice he didn’t back up on his own, except with a little bit of help.

“hey there.” matt happily says. clear sarcasm coming from his mouth, as well as written all over the fake smile on his face.

“what’s up!” the blonde dude chirps back, clearly not noticing matt’s fake ass nice tone.

“not much man..you know,” matt glances at me before leaning over to whisper something in the dudes ear.

whatever matt told him, must’ve changed his mind about what he planned on doing for the rest of his life or some shit because the dude just mutters a quick “okay yeah” before practically sprinting back into the living room.

i furrow my eyebrows as i look at matt, who now stands directly in front of me.

“what the hell was that?” he shouts at me, pure anger written all over his face.

“what?” i ask in disbelief as i cross my arms.

“you were just going to fuck some dude while you’re drunk? at my house?” he spits, leaning down to my level. “not to mention right in front of my bedroom?”

needless to say, im shocked. completely and utterly shocked. because, why would mr. ‘i can’t stand you’ now suddenly care what i do?

“what the fuck do you mean?” i voice back. “i wasn’t going to fuck him! let alone fuck him here, and i’m not even that drunk matt.”

i notice a small wave of relief flashing across his face before it turns right back to anger.

“you’re drunk enough,” he begins. “who knows what would’ve happened if i wouldn’t have stepped in. oh wait, i do. you would’ve fucked him! then i would have to listen to you crying in the morning about how you screwed some dude you don’t even know.” he states in a matter-of-factly voice.

once again, i stare at him in disbelief.

“matt-no the fuck i wouldn’t-“ i try to say, before im completely cut off.

“oh my god y/n,” he starts. “won’t you just fucking shut up and listen (lol) for once!” he shouts angrily, his hand coming up to wrap around my throat.

if i wasn’t already fully pressed against the bathroom door, i am now.

“matt?” i squeak out, trying to ignore the pooling in my underwear.

“what?” he breathlessly chuckles, leaning closer to my face.

i don’t say anything, not that i even can. i just stare at him, complete confusion written on my face.

“got nothing to say now huh?” he speaks condescendingly, leaning his head down dangerously close to my throat.

for some reason, i don’t make any efforts to get him away from me. i don’t want to push him away for once in my life.

“hm?” he hums, his lips slightly grazing over the sweet spot right under my ear.

i clear my throat, in hopes of mustering up some way to speak before i feel his mouth harshly biting down on the spot.

“oh-fuck!” i slightly yell, more in surprise than anything as he continues sucking on my neck that’s going to more than likely leave a spot in the morning.

“mhmm.” he hums once again, sending vibrations through my throat.

he removes the hand around my neck to place it on my hip as he puts his other hand on the side of my face, moving his mouth to the base of my throat, planting kisses along the path.

“matt..” i whine breathlessly as he moves his kisses upwards.

they move up my throat. then up to my chin, then once they reach my mouth he stops. just hovering over them before he speaks.

“give me permission y/n.” he whispers.

i nod, almost to quick for my liking.

“words, i need words.” he whispers again, this time sounding a little more desperate as he stares into my eyes, moving his hand from the side of my face to under my chin, lifting it up.

those damn eyes.

“y-yes matt.” i barely get out before his lips are already on mine.

his lips are soft. insanely soft. his pace? not as much.

i can barley keep up with him as his lips move against mine in a rapid movement. both of his hands slide down my sides, wrapping around my back before moving down to gently to grab my ass, causing me to let out a quick gasp, in which he takes advantage of to quickly slip his tongue into my mouth.

he pulls me away from the bathroom door, walking me backwards towards his room. he opens the door and walks me in, kicking the door behind him, our lips not breaking contact once.

he continues backing me up until i feel the back of my legs hit his bed, in which he puts a hand on my chest, slightly pushing me back which causes me to collapse onto his bed. him wasting no time in crawling right on top of me.

“matt..” i whine, grabbing the back of his neck to pull him closer to me.

“what baby?” he coos. rubbing his hand on my face, pushing my hair off my forehead.

“i need you.” i speak softly, unable to ignore the continuous pulsing between my thighs.

which causes him to let a cocky grin spread across his face.

“i know.” he says, reconnecting our lips.

his hands run down my sides, before going lower, reaching the hem of my dress.

“god this dress..”, he huffs, looking down at it. “you look gorgeous baby, but i need it off.”

i quickly nod before he begins pushing it up further. once it’s scrunched up on my waist, my black laced thongs are on complete display for him.

he grins, running his hand down my lower abdomen, stopping right above panty line. which subconsciously makes me buck my hips upwards.

“hey hey..patient baby, okay?” he softly says, pushing me back down.

he continues pushing up my dress as i raise up slightly so he can push it over my head completely.

once its discarded somewhere on the floor of his bedroom, he leans up as he looks down at me. taking notice of my now matching black lace bra and thong.

“matt..” i whimper, needing something. anything.

“shh, let me look at you.” he runs his hands all over my body as he stares at me. like an animal does at its prey before completely demolishing it, eating it alive.

and with that he leans back down, placing his lips on my neck. he moves his lips down my throat, onto my collarbone. making a few pit stops to suck here and there, before moving down to one of my breasts, kissing the top of the exposed skin as the rest is covered by my bra. causing me to let out a breathless moan, arching my back into him.

it’s not covered for long though as he’s reaching behind me to unclasp my bra. once it’s off, he throws it somewhere behind him. focusing his attention back onto my breasts, admiring them.

“you’re perfect.” he whispers before leaning back down, taking my right nipple into his mouth.

“oh my- god matt!” i loudly moan at the sudden motion, reaching my hand up to entangle it into his hair.

he groans as he swirls his tongue around the bud. once he’s decided that’s enough for one side, he quickly moves to my left breast, showing it the same amount of affection.

he stays there for a second before lifting his mouth away from me to hover over me. locking eyes with me, he lowers back down, peppering kisses down the valley of my breast.

he makes his way down my stomach, painfully slowly. leaving soft kisses in his path. the further he gets down, he places his knees on the floor. as he reaches the top of my panties. he keeps his eyes on mine as he sticks his tongue out, licking across the top of my panty line, causing me to shudder and slightly buck my hips up once again. before he pushes them back down again.

“what’d i say about being patient baby?” he tuts before he leans back, getting a full view of my clothed pussy. he grins noticing a darker spot right in the middle of them. “so wet for me hm?”

he drags one finger over my covered folds. which causes me to let out small line of cuss words. he lets the most shit eating grin spread across his face before he’s hooking his fingers around the waistband of my panties. he slowly pulls them down my legs. once they’re fully off, he takes them in his fist throwing them, this time forward so they land on his nightstand.

“such a pretty pussy.” he muttered before swiftly putting his face in between my thighs.

he left a quick, sweet kiss on my clit, causing my body jump and a soft moan roll off my tongue. before his is swiping through my soaking folds.

he skillfully flicks his tongue against my clit in an up and down motion as his eyes are piercing into mine the whole time. in response, i throw my head back onto his comforter, allowing my back to arch as his name comes out of my mouth plenty enough times to make him groan into my pussy. sending vibrations, enhancing the pleasurable feelings.

i feel my climax building, fast, as my thighs squeeze around his head. my grip tightening on his hair.

“matt…im gonna-“ i try to warn him, before i feel him come completely off of me, backing away.

“not yet you’re not.” he says demandingly as he stands up.

i whimper from the loss of him. before he quickly begins to undress. taking off his shirt, then his pants, then finally, his boxers. his dick happily springs out. the tip completely reddened as it throbs impatiently. pre-cum slightly leaking from the hole.

i almost drool at the sight.

he climbs up me again, spreading my legs with his knee. i guess i had pushed them back together while he was getting himself undressed.

he leans back down, connecting his lips with mine.

our lips dance across one another’s before he slowly begins grinding down on me. his bare dick rubbing between my folds to collect my slick to use as lube.

“matt!” i moan again. his cock rubbing against my clit perfectly.

before he stops again, making me whine once again from the loss.

he reaches his arm out towards his nightstand, opening his drawer as he begins rummaging around for something.

both his hand and head drops in annoyance as he groans into the crook of my neck.

“i don’t have a condom.”

“it’s okay,” i smile. “im on the pill.” i inform him.

he springs up, the widest grin i’ve ever seen taking over his features.

“you have no clue how long ive wanted to do this baby.” he sweetly kisses my cheek.

he leans back, sitting straight up as he looks down at me.

“you ready baby?” he asks, rubbing my stomach in reassurance.

“yes matt.” i let him know.

he looks at me, analyzing my face for any signs that scream ‘i don’t want this’. once he doesn’t find any, he begins pushing his tip inside of me.

his jaw slacks, low moans falling out as he makes his way into me. my jaw mirroring his as my back lifts off the brown bedding.

once he bottoms out, he waits for my sign that he can begin moving. once i nod my head a few times, he’s pulling out, not fully as his tip stays in. he snaps his hips back into mine at a slow pace.

“mm-fuck! matt!” i moan loudly.

“fuck baby-so tight.” he grunts, his head falling back.

he keeps the slow steadily pace for a while. slick sounds and moans filling up the room. thank god there’s a party going on outside, or we’d definitely be caught.

“matt..go faster.” i whine, needing more.

almost in a second, his hips are snapping into mine at a harsh pace. his tip kissing that soft spongey spot causing my walls to pulse around him as lewd moans escape my mouth.

“you sound so fucking good baby.” he lets out in small breathes as he puts all of his weight on top of me, his mouth ghosting my ear.

“all for me, huh?” he asks, condescendingly as he manages to pick up his pace.

which only cause me to let out a loud shriek. he takes that as my response as he leans back up, eyes focused on watching himself slip in and out of me.

“matt! im gonna cum!” i squeal, warning him.

“come on, cum for me.” he groans, picking up his already rapid pace. lowering his hand between our bodies to rub circles on my clit.

almost on command, my walls begin contracting as i let go around his dick. pure euphoria coating my body as i hit my high.

he rides me through my orgasm as he inches towards his own.

“fuck-y/n-“ he begins as his hips sputter before he reaches his high, painting my insides white as i feel his warm liquid shoot inside me.

he collapses onto my chest. we lay there for a few seconds as we catch our breath, until he pulls out. both of us wince from the slight overstimulation.

“let’s get you cleaned up, yeah?” he whispers, leaving a sweet peck on my cheek.

as he gets up, he picks my hand up, leaving a small kiss on the back of it.

i just slept with the person i despise most.

or do i?

____________________________________________

a/n: first time writing smut so i apologize if it sucks ass 😃. this took way longer than i’d like to admit but i hope u like it. i heavily advise you to listen to the song ‘shut up and listen’ with this. it’s so fucking good.

for the ones that wanted to be tagged: @imwetforyourmom @tillies33ssss

#chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #matt sturniolo #nick sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo smut #sturniolo x reader #sturniolo

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sergle · 6 months

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(re: sssniperwolf and jacksfilms) It's laughable that she escalated it that hard. Don't get me wrong, I'm pretty sure stalking him like that is illegal and it's terrifying regardless, but Jack said in a stream (can't remember which one) that he wasn't about bringing up past controversies of hers or cancelling. And now she shows up outside his house (wtf!!!). Like he was willing to only call her out for stealing and freebooting but she's gone and stalked him and Jack doesn't seem like the type of guy to take that shit. Actual WTF moment from her part. wild

omg long post below bc apparently I have opinions: YES!! THAT'S WHAT'S SO INCREDIBLE ABOUT THIS... Jack has been genuinely diligent about keeping things on-topic in his streams, and hasn't brought up any of her other Stuff, or anything Personal. Despite the fact that she kickstarted the whole thing by making it INCREDIBLY personal and attacking his physical appearance... His goal has been to call out and bring attention to content theft, and he's stuck with it. Dude's also cared about this for years, and she's not the first content thief he's criticized. He just hates the way that freebooting has become so accepted-- to the point where youtube praised her for "coming up with such creative video ideas"? Hey! Ew! Dude wasn't trying to get her cancelled though, there was no smear campaign of her character. He's been rallying to get her to CREDIT the creators that she relies on for all of her content. It would set a precedent for all other "react" channels on the platform for one of the biggest channels on youtube to actually give credit where credit is due. Or, god forbid, get permission first? It's not hard. It's already done the job of making some other people who do "react content" self-analyze whether or not their content is transformative, and to maybe care about crediting the creators they rely on for their genre to work. There is a way to make this kind of video that isn't so slimy. And making fun of her lackluster-at-best reactions is so far from even being a big deal. Bc she literally does just sit there and say nothing. Plus, his goal has a clear End built into it: if she started shouting out the creators she takes content from, and put links directly to their pages in her video descriptions, the job would be done! That's what he's asking her to do. Real bare minimum stuff. It legit would have been easy to steer away from the content theft and to also talk about her history of lying to her audience! her ghosting a dying kid with cancer who was a big fan of hers! the fact that she's been arrested for armed robbery! her history of transphobia! He would also get more clicks that way, which is what she claims is his sole goal- to get more clicks. I'll bring it up though! She's been a terrible person the whole time, and has kept a steady course of manipulating her audience of young children and/or, let's be completely honest, simps- into thinking that she's a Wholesome creator. (And now, into thinking she's an innocent victim.) All of the actual effort put in by her has gone toward optics, not the content she puts out. A carefully constructed online persona, for one, but also literal appearances. Jack totally can't say this, bc she already went off the handle and said the only reason he doesn't like her is bc he Hates To See A Woman Be Successful. But I can! That was a cheap shot for her to use that argument when, for once, it's not applicable! Much the opposite, even! Dudes online wouldn't go to bat for her if she didn't look the way she does. And it weakens any case she'd have against him by making baseless claims like that. She banks hugely on being an attractive woman to get her clicks/following. A massive amount of effort is put into her appearance. The makeup, the lip fillers, putting her hair in little pigtails, the chokers and tube tops, the big non-prescription Nerd Glasses, the thumbnails where she has her mouth open in That Expression?

I don't even have to say anything. But making a weird facial expression and putting your hair in pigtails aren't moral failings. Showing up at someone's real life home (whose address you shouldn't even have access to), filming the front of their house at night, doxxing them to your audience of millions of people? Because you were mad at them online? That is fully scary! Yeah girl I'm pretty sure that Jack can press charges! There is absolutely no way to take the moral highground now that she's literally stalked him, and doxxed his home. She tried to goad him and Erin (Jack's wife) out of the house, also, which creeps me out even more-- because what was she planning to do? The fact that she's been arrested for violent crime before does pop into my mind! lmao! Jack was streaming a game at the time that she was outside his home, and these clips of him, his friends, and Erin reacting in real time to what is genuinely a scary situation have been taken down in case he needs to use them in legal action. Shit is legitimately serious!

#sergle answers #long post #LONGEST POST ON EARTH I'M SO SORRY #saying all this out loud only takes a few minutes but typing it... girl this is a BOOK #clearly I have thoughts on this Online Drama but also this isn't online!#these are people who exist in real life. and compromising a person's safety bc he criticized you for stealing tiktoks #is a real life thing. this isn't confined to online spaces! you can turn off your computer to get away from An Argument #but someone going to your house?? that's absolutely terrifying #and all of this is just because he's been telling her to credit the creators. it could have been resolved so simply.#I hope he takes legal action against her bc he genuinely has grounds to do so.#and I can't imagine how terrified and upset I would be if someone was outside my door. filming my house for their audience.#also the 'what if the roles were reversed' argument is rarely made in good faith... but she's already brought up the topic.#this would be getting even more coverage and the optics would be Even Creepier if a strange man with millions of followers showed up #at the home of a woman- just bc she criticized his videos- filming her home address for all to see and trying to get her to come outside.#It's just as creepy that sssniperwolf did this as it would be coming from ANYONE else #it's been downplayed bc her being a little skinny woman means that A Man shouldn't be threatened by her #which. even if she wasn't going to Do anything. any one of her rabidly loyal online followers MIGHT. she's not the only one who could go to #his house now! anyone could show up.#sergle.txt #Jacksfilms #Sssniperwolf

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frenchkisstheabyss · 8 months

Text

♡ peanut butter & tears ♡

♡ Pairing: idol!boyfriend!minho! x fem!reader

♡ Summary: A week after Minho goes public with your relationship, a ghost from your past posts a stream of tweets on social media revealing your darkest secrets to millions and, more importantly, your boyfriend.

♡ Genre: angst/fluff

♡ Word Count: 1.1k-ish

♡ Warnings: mention of sex, brief discussion of scars/stretchmarks/self harm/people being assholes on the internet (none of it's graphic but still important to warn you of, my loves)

♡ A/N: I love and appreciate @aprilskillstory not only for submitting this but for being super patient while I wrote it and for trusting me to write it at all. I named this after a DPR Ian song btw. If you haven't heard it, it's magical.

This is a nightmare...

Actually, it’s much worse than that. Nightmares you wake up from. This is real life. No alarm clock will ring to snap you out of it. This is happening. Sinking further down into the lukewarm water of your bubble bath, you look on helplessly as your phone lights up with notifications. Every few seconds the number in the top right corner of a half dozen apps doubles, triples in some cases.

Minho’s decision to go public with your relationship had initially gone much nicer than you anticipated. A week had passed with minimal backlash and what you did receive had begun to die down before the stream of tweets that have you preferring to prune than to crawl out of this tub and face him.

There's no telling who would have posted them. Tweet after tweet detailing things that you’ve wanted with everything in you to open up to Minho about. You’ve tried a million times and a million times your admissions have gotten caught in your throat, jagged and barbed, refusing to budge.

But someone dragged them out and your soul along with them, putting your secrets on display for a merciless crowd set on tearing you away from their beloved Minho.

“Trauma like that can’t make her a stable girlfriend.”

“Self harm scars? No wonder she’s always covered up in pics…”

“Our Lino deserves better.”

“She’s dated girls too? Do you think he knew?”

“If Minho knew he wouldn’t be with her.”

You scroll through reply after reply until your screen’s too wet for your touch to register. You’re startled by the sound of Minho shouting, his voice muffled through the thick walls of your apartment but his rage is unmistakable. Placing your phone on the chair by the bathtub, you hop out before courage abandons you.

“It’s gonna be okay” you repeat to yourself, wrapping a towel around you to form a lilac safety blanket, “Everything’s gonna be okay. Just breathe.” Footsteps descend down the hall and you breathe in through your nose, out through your mouth. Slow breaths full of intent like the pink haired girl in the yoga pants on Youtube instructed you to do.

“You’re the only big brother I have. Just, please, don’t let them come here” Minho begs, standing in the doorway with his phone to his ear, “I’ll come after. I promise. Thank you.” He hangs up, turning to you, his gaze transforming you into stone like one of the foolish men who dared to lay eyes on Medusa. The rise and fall of your chest ceases almost to the point of lifelessness.

“Minho, I can explain…” He folds an arm across his chest, nervously tapping his phone against his temple, “That you hid things from me?” “I didn’t hide anything. At least, not on purpose. I didn't mean to do it.” “Then what did you mean to do? Hmm? You know what I do for work. What were you thinking?” “Fuck, I don’t know” you weep, sitting on the edge of the tub.

You tilt your head back, hoping to send the tears rolling back to where they came from but it’s no use. They only pool in your eyes, clouding your vision so that the only thing you see as Minho approaches is the distorted silhouette of his figure. “I wanted to tell you, I did, but I was afraid it’d be too much at once. That you’d hate me like other guys in the past have.”

You’re rambling, breathing heavily, blindly reaching for tissues. Minho leans your head forward, resting your left cheek on his stomach while he strokes the other side of your face, soothing your anxiousness. “Hate you? Hate…you?” he asks, more offended by your statement than you expect, “I need you to look at me.” Sniffling, you turn to look up at him and he’s…smiling?

“I love you. Nothing could ever make me hate you. I just wish you’d come to me so I could've protected you. If I had known…” “Wait, you’re not mad?” “At what?” “That I’ve, you know, dated women before.” Minho shrugs, “Jisung’s basically my last resort if we break up so, uh, no.” “But my scars and my stretch marks…” Kissing you on the forehead, he backs away and begins to take his shirt off.

“When you asked me to have sex with the lights out did I ever argue?” For the first time since you met, it sets in that he had, in fact, never questioned why you never wanted the lights on. Come to think of it, you usually didn’t need to ask for them to be off. They already were. Minho tosses his shirt to the ground, running his fingers along the scar that marks his abdomen, “I was afraid you wouldn’t like mine either.”

“Wouldn’t like it?” you scoff, unable to fathom how you’d ever find him anything short of beautiful, “It’s a part of you. I love anything that’s a part of you.” Minho sits down beside you, delighting in seeing you even partially uncovered for the first time, “The feeling’s mutual.” The sound of a vibrating phone grabs your attention. You glance over at the chair. It’s not yours.

Minho digs his phone out of his pocket, groaning as he scrolls through text messages. “Shit, I have to go do damage control” he huffs, jumping up to toss his shirt back on, “But when I come back we have to talk. I have questions about the scars if you’re comfortable? Just to make sure you’re okay.” “Uh, yeah, sure that’s okay. I’ll make us some food for when you get back and you can ask me whatever.”

His phone vibrates again, this time it’s a call. “What?” he whines, “I’m on my way. No, I really am. I’m in the car right now. Oh no, you’re breaking up. Oh…” Minho’s phone hits the bath water with a splash, sending bubbles cascading down the walls. “Oops,” he gasps, knowing very well it wasn’t an accident.

Minho gives you a dozen more kisses on your lips, on your forehead, on your cheeks, before he’s dashing around the apartment searching for his keys. “And stay off of social media unless you plan to make a list of everyone who says something bad so I can fight them! Love you!” he shouts on the way out the front door. “Love you too!” you shout back before it closes.

Left alone in the silence of the aftermath, you nibble at your bottom lip, nervous at having finally found someone this accepting but beyond happy that he exists. That he’s yours. A phone vibrates again. Your phone. Picking it up you see that it’s a call from someone you haven’t spoken to in a while. No doubt with questions about what’s been going on. You stare at it for a moment, contemplating answering but then...

“Oops” you gasp, letting your phone slip into a watery grave beside Minho’s, “Tragic.”

#lee know x you #lee know x reader #lee know x y/n #lee know angst #stray kids x female reader #stray kids x y/n #stray kids x you #stray kids x reader #stray kids angst #stray kids fluff #lee know fluff

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retnym · 1 year

Text

WORLD TOUR- .02

"Your dirty jokes just had to be heard?"

“Hurry!” A scream came from one of the singers in the house, his hair freshly done as he ran into the living room putting on a jacket. His heart was pounding as he and our friends were about to run late to a big live interview. The bassist and drummer already sat in the vehicle waiting for the twins and me who had come over to the house in the morning to do my makeup with Bill but even myself woke up a tad bit later than I Should've.

“It’s okay, Bill.” I walk calmly into the room, wiping my wet hands onto my mini skirt then rolling down these black long sleeves. “We need to go, we literally have 25 minutes to get to the building that’s 26 minutes away!” His voice cracks, he went to go get his brother but he was already joining the two, tiredly yawning.

Unlike the others he had just thrown something on and put his hair into his usual style.

Predictable.

“Alright, let’s go, let’s go!” I wind my hand up then pointing out the door. Bill was out the door faster than light itself as Tom took his time a little bit more due to his huge pants that wouldn’t exactly let him run in.

Of course I had to sit in the middle of the twins. Being smushed together I leaned more onto Bill, his arm slightly around my shoulders to give more room in the back seat. “Sorry Georg!” I apologize for our un-togetherness. He just shakes his head, motioning that it was okay before he speeds down the road for the singer’s sake.

As we sat in the car with the radio on low, Bill and I took pictures on his phone trying to pass the time as Gustav took a little nap, Georg sat quietly as he focused on the road and Tom sometimes talked to Bill about how the interview was going to go. We haven’t exactly spoken since yesterday, which was completely okay. I would rather have the silence than hear his annoying voice.

Today will be our first sit down, live interview together. It’s more of a day show like America’s Ellen Degenerous show or like the night shows as well.

Just German.

Well this will be played on my Youtube channel so I’m going to put captions on it so that others will get our huge announcement as well from this video. But since not a lot of people that speak English will want to see it I’ve had the boys make a video with me to post for the U.K. or the U.S.

Actually getting to the building is what brought all of our nerves to the roof. Even Tom who was freaking out with Georg. They were being pretty dramatic as they pretended to cry together. Once we parked in the back like we were told, security all ran our way and someone took the keys from Georg to move the car somewhere else while we were inside. Security stood by us as we entered the building.

Fans somehow found the backway entry and were shouting our names as we passed by screaming for us to give them attention. Sadly we couldn’t acknowledge them.

It almost felt exhilarating to be put in this situation. The running and being hid by screaming people who would just love to put their hands on you in any way they could. Little creepy now that I put it into words.

Anyways.

We were escorted to an area to be mic’d up. This girl has to put it in areas that won’t be incredibly noticeable. Looking around at the boys as Tom was getting his done lastly, his eyes were on the girls boobs since she was slightly bent over. Scrunching my nose in disgust I look away.

Turning to Gustav I dramatically grabbed his shoulders. “You ready?” Shaking him back and forth he finally put his hands on mine to stop me. “Are you?” He laughs.

I nod like a crazy woman, pulling him into a hug. “I’m a tiny bit nervous.” I chuckle. “I can tell.”

“Time to get into place.” Bill snaps us out of it and we let go of each other moving to the curtains of the screen. Bill gripped onto my hand and the host called out our names. Well more, “Ladies and Gentles I have the wonderful [Name] [Last Name] with Tokio Hotel!”

As we joined him near the couches he stood up, greeting us one by one. “Hello, hello!” He shook my hand tightly.

“Hi, an honor!” I smile and he winks back in response, slightly catching me off guard earning a confused look for a split second.

As we sat down, I was placed nearest to the host, Bill next to and so on.

The beginning of it all was very cliche, it was the normal stuff we usually get coming to these types of things only this time we got to do it together.

The questions get a little morbid, asking about our personal life but having to go with it we will change it up in the best way we can to not give out that sentimental information.

We’re only 18. Some of us being 17 still.

“So, [Name] you’re starting your tour soon aren’t you?” He places the attention onto me, my face turning warmmer by the second. “Yeah, I am.” I smile, mentally wanting to beat myself up due to the fact that I’ve been stuttering ever so lightly but still being a tad bit noticeable. “Aren’t you going to miss these four boys?” He jokes with me and we all snicker at the thought.

“Well, I won’t have to miss them.”

“What do you mean?” He tilts his head, not getting what I was laying down.

“She means, Tokio Hotel is joining her World Tour!” Bill shouts mainly for the audience. Everyone gasping at first then roaring into cheers.

Obviously I don’t think that was very expected.

We waited for the audience to calm down and then we continued with the questions. Now changing what he was saying to things about the tour. Were the prices changing? Anything like that. Obviously nothing will be changing except for the fact that the boys will be joining with me.

Starting in Germany then going around Europe then to the United States of America. Other countries too but that’s later on and their tickets haven’t gone on sale yet.

Now people in the crowd get to ask their questions. It was mainly to Tom as usual when we’re all together.

“This one’s for Tom and [Name],” A younger teenage girl speaks up as the guy with the microphone holds onto it. “Go ahead.” I smile sweetly to her and Tom nods her way. She looked like she was going to faint at any moment but still held strong.

“How come whenever you guys are seen in public you never go near each other?”

The group starts laughing quietly, Bill sneakily takes my pinkie with his and squeezes it. I take a deep breath trying not to laugh myself at this godawful question.

“There really isn’t a reason. I guess that’s just what’s seen in public.” I play it off, I thought it was pretty smooth but knowing Tom he was about to do something to mess it up or change it to his liking.

“She really just can’t handle all the heat that comes with being near me.” Like I said, there he goes. He corrected me in a smart way. Everyone started laughing, even the host so my only option was to force it out of me as well, quietly adding in a “He wishes” but it was sadly louder than I wanted because of the microphone thats connected to my shirt.

I only noticed that because of the “Ohh’s” heard around the crowd. “ I don’t have to wish, it’s my reality.” He smirks.

“Oh you’re right, guys he’s just too hot to handle!” I sarcastically squeal, covering my face to act like I was blushing. He plays along, pointing at me going “See!”

Luckily the interview moved on from that horrible conversation and it all went smoothly.

Once it ended and we took off our mic’s we were out the door faster than we could imagine.

Shoving Tom out of my way, I got to the passenger side and sat in the front with Georg, unfortunately having to kick Gustav to the back. He’ll be okay though.

As Georg started driving, he took the back roads to not have any fans following us out of the area. We all talked about everything and how good it was that we finally had the information about the tour out. All of us complimenting each other on how it went.

“It went pretty amazing, well except the fact that [Name] kept stuttering like she was in love with our host.” Tom mutters the last part but my head snaps his way and I glare at him. “Like you can talk? Googling over every girl who came up to the mic.” I furrowed my brows. “And barely anyone could hear you, having to repeatedly be told to speak up.” I add in.

“That must’ve been your imagination because I was heard pretty well for what needed to be heard.” He comes closer to my face, I adjust myself to actually look at him. “You think so?”

He rolls his eyes, getting even closer to the point where our noses were almost touching. “Your dirty jokes just had to be heard?” I quiz him. Georg tapped my thigh, trying to get me to calm down and end it. And due to his delay of a response I thought he was just going to end it and stop talking. Boy was I wrong.

“Yeah to get desperate girls like you to know they could only be a quick fuck.” He whispered into my ear, only for me to hear. He finally leans back but without even thinking on my part I unbuckle my seat and get inbetween the seats to hit him right in the jaw. Probably hurting myself more than him. The boys all shouted and Georg quickly pulled over, grabbing my waist and shoving me back into the seat. My breathing turned ragged.

“You’re a dick Tom.” I step out of the car, slamming it behind me.

As I had gotten a little bit away I held onto my fist and cursed underneath my breath. Hearing a car door open then shut, and fast footsteps heading my way I thought it was Bill coming to check up on me.

“Seriously? You hit me then run off?”

Nevermind, I am really bad at this guessing game.

“Why did you come out Tom?” I immediately stop.

He just laughs, looking down at my fist in the palm of my other hand and I move to cross my arms and hide it but still putting pressure on my newest injury caused by Tom’s jaw.

“Can’t believe you actually hit me.”

“Want me to do it again?”

“Just calm down, get in the car for their sake. You’re really going to let something I said bother you?” He shames me, he’s really about to shame me?

“Just leave me be, okay? I’m gonna have Johanna come get me.” I shove him away from me, then grabbing my phone out of my tiny pocket in my mini skirt.

Turning away I heard the doors of a car once again and then the wheels on gravel move closer to me. “[Name], get in the car!” Bill shouts my way but I just shake my head. “I’m calling, Johanna. Just leave without me. I’ll call you when I get home.” I smile sadly, Bill just nods telling Georg to just go but he hesitates at first. Only to get told to go once more.

“He is the most infuriating person on this planet, Jo!” I cried out and she just laughs in response. I threw my head back onto my couch as my cat laid in my lap, shimmying to get comfortable.

My best friend was across from me with her legs laid out.

“I can’t believe you actually punched him.” She giggles mainly to herself.

“Dude, it felt like an actual out of body experience, I didn’t feel like me.” I rub my face, careful of the piercings on it.

“What did he even say to make you react that way?”

Sitting for a moment in silence as I thought about it;

“Yeah to get desperate girls like you to know they could only be a quick fuck.”

Scrunching my nose in disgust I shake my head. “Doesn’t matter, just know it made me mad enough to punch him.” I sigh.

Tightening my fist I flinch with the feeling of the ice joining back in with the pain.

“I still wonder.” She frowns.

CHAPTER TWO BABY!!!! Very surprised I got this done so fast after work. I'm pretty proud of this chapter. The next chapter will be tomorrow:) (Hopefully, if not it will be the next day)

#tom kaulitz #bill kaulitz #georg listing #gustav schäfer #tokio hotel #x reader

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waitimcomingtoo · 1 year

Text

He Said, She Said

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Synopsis: absolute tomfoolery ensues when you and Tom suspect that the other thinks you’re dating but you’re both too shy to correct each other

Masterlist

A week after you had wrapped filming a movie with Tom, you invited him to your house to hang out. Since the love story between your characters had been the backbone of the film, you’d grown particularly close to each other during the 8 months of filming. You had spent the last 8 months acting along side Tom as his crush, then girlfriend, and then wife. This was your first time seeing each other since wrapping and there were multiple times throughout the night where you had to catch yourself before you did something that you used to do when you played his wife. It was slightly confusing to spend 8 months acting as if you were in a relationship only for it to suddenly end one day. Tom felt the same way and often found himself about to go in for a kiss before he remembered he wasn’t actually your boyfriend. You both managed to catch yourselves just in time until the end of the night.

“Text me when you get home safe.” You said as you walked Tom to your door.

“I always do.” He smiled softly at you.

You smiled in return before wrapping an arm around him to pull him into a kiss. Tom instinctively kissed you back before he could process what was happening. You pulled away after a minute and stroked his cheek with your thumb.

“Bye, T.” You waved to him before shutting your door.

Tom stood outside your door for a full minute with his lips still pursed. He touched his fingertips to his lips and sure enough felt your sticky strawberry lipgloss still lingering there.

“Now wait a damn minute.” He said to himself as his confusion settled in.

It wasn’t like this was the first time you’d kissed him, but it was the first time you’d kissed him in the absence of any cameras or scripts. A surprised smile broke out on his lips until it settled into a confused frown. He turned around and went to his car where he sat for a long time, raking every inch of his moment for the moment your friendship became something more. When he came up empty, he took out his phone and texted his groupchat.

“emergency boy call” He texted and waited until the FaceTime notification appeared on his screen.

“What’s with the late night boy call? It’s almost midnight.” Harry asked through a yawn.

“Yeah. I was already balls deep into my YouTube deep dive.” Harrison complained.

“What were you watching?” Tuwaine asked him.

“Wig installation videos.” Harrison answered. “In case I ever need to install a wig.”

“That seems like a good use of your time.” Sam snorted.

“Guys.” Tom groaned. “I did not ask for a boy call for us to talk about whether or not Harrison will be installing a wig anytime soon.”

“I could do it if I wanted to.” Harrison mumbled.

“What did you need the boy call for?” Harry brought the focus back to Tom.

“I think Y/n and I are dating.” Tom admitted and held his breath as he waited for their responses. He could previously only see his friends ceilings, but all their confused faces appeared on his screen when he said this.

“What? You think?” Harry asked.

“I thought you guys were just friends?” Sam added.

“I thought that too.” Tom replied. “But we hung out tonight and she kissed me goodbye.”

“So? Haven’t you kissed a million times?” Tuwaine wondered.

“For scenes, yeah. Never just as us.”

“Cheek kiss or lips kiss?” Harrison asked.

“Lips.“

“Well was it a peck or a smooch?” Harry questioned.

“Uh, is there a difference?” Tom frowned.

“Big time.” Harry and Harrison said in unison.

“Well how do I know the difference?” Tom wondered.

“A peck is what you give your grandmum on the cheek. A smooch is slightly longer and involves head tilting.” Harrison explained.

“I don’t know. Her tongue was in my mouth. Is that covered under the smooch umbrella?”

“DAMNNNNN.” Harry and Harrison spoke in unison again as the shouted.

“That was way past smooch territory, my guy.” Tuwaine said through a laugh.

“Then what is it?” Tom asked his friends.

“A smackeroo.” Harry shrugged.

“I was just gonna say a smackeroo.” Harrison clapped his hands.

“That was no smooch. You got snogged, mate.” Sam said and they all nodded in agreement.

“Ew.” Tom grimaced. “No one says snog anymore. What are you, Angus Thongs?”

“Who the fuck is Angus Thongs?” Harry asked after a beat of silence.

“You know. That movie. Angus Thongs and Perfect Snogging. It’s all about a girl who wants to snog Angus Thongs.”

“Mate, it’s Angus COMMA thongs COMMA and perfect snogging. The title is three separate phrases. Angus, Thongs, and Perfect Snogging.” Harry explained.

“You thought the character was named Angus Thongs?” Sam laughed. “Why would the writers give him that name? What nationality would the surname “Thongs” even come from?”

“Can we get back to the reason of the boy call? Y/n freaking smooched me and I don’t know what it means.” Tom groaned.

“And that’s never happened before?” Tuwaine asked.

“No. This was the first time she did that.”

“So maybe it was just an accident.” Sam shrugged.

“Who accidentally kisses someone on the mouth?” Harry wondered.

“Exactly. That’s why I think we started dating and I didn’t realize.”

“How could that have happened? Wouldn’t you have realized if you guys made your relationship official?” Sam asked his brother.

“I don’t know. We’re so close and our relationship gets confusing sometimes. We’ve always have this unofficial thing between us where we’re not exactly together but not exactly “just friends” either. I’ve never really known where I stood with her.”

“This might not help,” Tuwaine prefaced, “but I was shocked the first time I met her and you told me you guys were just friends. You really seemed like a couple.”

“Yeah, that definitely didn’t help, but thank you so much.” Tom smiled tightly, feeling more confused than ever.

“He’s right though. You guys don’t act like friends act. Why do you think everyone assumes you’re dating? Even mom asked me if you two were bumping uglies.” Sam brought up.

“We’re not. Or maybe we are? I don’t know. What does bumping uglies even mean?”

“You’d know if you did it.” Harrison said and the rest of the guys agreed.

“Can you think of a moment when you might’ve become a couple?” Sam asked his brother.

“There are so many moments that it could’ve been. That’s why I’m so confused.” Tom whined and rubbed his eyes.

“Well think, man.” Sam urged.

“I don’t know. Maybe the last day of shooting? She said she didn’t want anything to change between us after we stopped filming. Maybe that meant she wanted us to be together like our characters were?”

“You can’t be “maybe” dating someone.” Harrison shook his head. “You need to find out for certain if she thinks she’s in a committed relationship with you right now.”

“How am I supposed to do that?” Tom wondered.

“I’ll do it.” Harry offered and his screen went to the “pause” icon.

“How?” Tom asked him.

“I just texted her asking if you were dating.” Harry replied and returned to the FaceTime.

“What?!” Tom shrieked. “Without discussing that with me first?”

“Wait, what happened?” Harrison asked. “I was watching a Dance Moms compilation.”

“Which one?” Tuwaine asked.

“Kelly and Christi being iconic.” Harrison said with a cheeky smile.

“Classic.” Tuwaine laughed.

“Guys.” Tom groaned. “Harry went rogue and texted Y/n.”

Meanwhile, you were doing your skincare routine when you saw your phone light up with a notification. You picked it up and saw the text from Harry.

“are you and tom dating?” It read. You frowned and looked at yourself in the mirror. Harry, being Tom’s brother, should know better than anyone that you and Tom were just friends. But the fact that he asked you made you second guess yourself. You wondered if there was a possibility that Tom thought you were in a relationship.

“did he say we were?” You texted back.

“yeth” Harry responded.

“Oh shit. Why does Tom think we’re dating?” You whispered to yourself and nervously chewed on your nail. You raked your brain for a cue that you might have missed of Tom suggesting that you should be a couple. Your relationship had always been flirty and wavering on the line between romantic and platonic, so it didn’t seem impossible to you that could’ve begun a romantic relationship with him without even knowing it. The more you thought about it, the more it seemed plausible that he had suggested you should be together without actually saying those words and you had agreed to it without realizing what you agreed to. If that was the case, you felt too guilty to correct Tom and tell him you weren’t actually dating. After all, you wanted to be his girlfriend. You just wished you knew when you had become it.

“yea we are” You finally texted back.

“Update. Y/n says you’re dating.” Harry proudly announced to the FaceTime call when he saw the message on his screen.

“She did?” Tom asked in disbelief.

“Yep. So you were right. You guys are officially a thing.” Harry confirmed. Tom sunk down in his seat and felt an explosion of different emotions. On the one hand, he was thrilled to finally be in a relationship with you. On the other hand, he felt sad that he had missed the moment when your friendship became more. He wished he could remember how it happened. But little did he know, it never happened.

“I’m so happy. I just wish I knew when it started.” He told his friends.

Meanwhile, you were in your bathroom, staring at your phone, wondering the exact same thing.

“When the fuck did we start dating?” You whispered to yourself.

The next day, you couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something you were missing. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t put together the moment when your relationship with Tom began. Instead of driving yourself crazy trying to remember, you decided to ask him to come over to see if you could get the information straight from the source.

“I know I just saw you last night but do you wanna come over today 🤠” You texted him.

“I’m on my way 🥵🥴🙄” He texted back within no time. You smiled to yourself and put your phone down to go get ready.

A half hour later, you heard a knock at your door that made your heart skip a beat. You smoothed your hair down before opening up your door.

“Hey you.” You smiled and leaned your cheek against your door.

“Hello darling.” He returned the smile. There was an awkward pause as neither of you knew of you were supposed to kiss or not. You both wanted to, but couldn’t tell if the other was expecting it or not. You both took a step forward, then moved back, before hesitantly moving into the middle again. Tom decided to take charge and wrapped his arm around your waist to pull you into a kiss. You felt relived that he took the initiative and wrapped both arms around his neck to kiss him back. Tom felt so excited that this was finally happening that he lifted you off the ground and brought you inside without ever breaking the kiss. You laughed against his lips as he gently set you down.

“Won’t you come in?” You said sarcastically once you broke apart.

“Why, thank you. What a lovely home you have here.” He played along as you shut the front door behind you.

“What happened here?” Tom laughed when he noticed a open box of cereal on the ground with cheerios all around it.

“Oh, I uh, I fell.” You said and looked to the side.

“Did you throw an open cereal box at a spider again?” Tom asked skeptically.

“Maybe.” You mumbled.

“Darling. Just hit it with the-“

“The smackazine. I know.” You rolled your eyes. “I just get too scared to get close enough to actually smack it.”

“You should’ve called me sooner. I would’ve demonstrated the proper way to use a smackazine.” Tom said as he rolled up a nearby magazine and hit it against his hand.

“Oh yeah? And what exactly is the proper way?” You humored him and tapped your chin.

“Just like this.” Tom said before smacking you with the rolled up magazine. You screamed and ran away from him, only encouraging him to chase you. You ran from him and jumped over the couch but he caught up to you. And grabbed you by the waist and threw you onto the couch before smacking you all over with the magazine as he straddled your waist.

“Don’t hit me! Do I look like a spider to you?” You asked and tried to hold him off of you. Tom stopped smacking you and gave you a look.

“Do you want an honest answer?”

“Hey!” You pretended to be offended and ripped the magazine out of his hands to smack him with it. He laughed and knocked it out of you hands and when you were caught off guard by it falling to the floor, he held your face in one hand and kissed you. You melted into the kiss and pulled him closer by his shirt as the confusion from the night before melted away. Now that he was here, you didn’t care about getting answers anymore. You just wanted to enjoy your time with him. You made out on your couch for a while until you needed to pull away for air.

“I’m so happy we’re finally together. I’ve wanted this for a long time.” You said in a soft voice as you traced patterns on his cheek with your fingernail.

“So did I. I had no idea you felt the same.” Tom said as he stared into your eyes with a soft smile.

“I didn’t either at first. I wasn’t sure if I really liked you or if I was just caught up in the magic of filming. But I missed kissing you and acting like your girlfriend the second we wrapped. That’s when I knew my feelings were real.”

“So we started dating after we wrapped?” Tom whispered to himself as pieces of the puzzle fell into place.

“What was that?” You asked.

“I just said I knew it right away.” He quickly covered up. “I liked you from the day we met. I just never imagined you’d like me back. That’s why I never officially asked you out.”

“I knew it. That’s why I didn’t realize when we started dating. It’s because he never officially asked me out.” You thought but didn’t say out loud.

“You didn’t need to. I just knew.” You shrugged and smiled wider.

“I had absolutely no idea and he can never know that.” You thought inside your head but kept your smile.

“She can never know that I never actually asked her out. I’m glad she thinks I did so that I never actually had to do it, but she can never know the truth.” Tom thought to himself. You noticed from his expression that he was deep in thought and touched his face to get his attention.

“What are you thinking about?” You asked as you pushed some hair off his forehead. Tom snapped back to reality and smiled shyly.

“You. And how long I’ve waited to do this.” He said before connecting your lips in a kiss again. This time, it was interrupted by his phone buzzing.

“Oh. It’s my mum.” He read off his phone.

“What did she say?”

“She said Harry told her about us and now she wants a family dinner.” He said as the color drained from his face. The thought of sitting down for a family dinner where his brothers knew the truth about the ambiguity of the beginning of your relationship while you and his mom were in the dark put a pit of dread in his stomach.

“Aw. When?”

“Next Saturday. We don’t have to do it, though.” He said and hoped you’d agree.

“No, I’d love to.” You told him, making him gulp.

“You would?”

“Totally. It’ll make her happy and I love spending time with your family. It can be our first dinner date as an official couple.”

“All right. I’ll tell her yes.” Tom gulped again and reluctantly agreed to the dinner. He didn’t know how, but he knew the truth would come out at the dinner. That meant he had exactly a week to figure out how your relationship began or he’s have nothing to say when his mom asked at the dinner.

“Perfect.” You smiled, having no idea about the turmoil Tom was going through over this. He decided to push it from his mind and worry about it when he had to.

Tom ended up staying over the entire day despite having spent the whole day with you the day before. You cooked dinner together and felt like a couple that had been married for years instead of the new couple that you were. There was laughing, kissing, and a closeness that didn’t exist when you were just friends only a day ago. You loved this new relationship, but you couldn’t stop wondering when it began.

You ended up on the couch again after eating and laid on top of each other as you talked about whatever came to mind. You lost track of time as you chatted and eventually felt yourself growing tired. When you let out a yawn, Tom checked the time on his phone.

“Damn, it’s 1 am already? I should probably get going. I don’t want to keep you up any longer.” Tom said as he got off the couch.

“You don’t have to go.” You said and tugged him back onto the couch.

“I don’t? Don’t you want to go to sleep?” He asked genuinely. You didn’t make eye contact with him as you toyed with a loose string on your jumper.

“Well, I was just thinking. You would go home after hanging out when we were just friends. But since we’re dating now….” You trailed off and slowly looked into his eyes.

“I could spend the night?” He asked when he realized what you were hinting at.

“Only if you-“

“Yes.” Tom said immediately, making you laugh.

“Sorry. I meant, yes, I’d love that.” He said in a calmer tone as his heart beat out of his chest.

“Okay. Good.” You smiled coyly. “We could watch a movie or something.”

“Uh huh. A movie. Sounds good.” Tom was barely listening as he never took his eyes off you. You scrolled through Netflix for a few seconds before putting on something random. Neither of you had any intention of watching, you just wanted to see who’d make the first move.

The first twenty minutes of the movie went by with you and Tom sneaking glances at each other every few seconds. By the third time you made eye contact with him, you turned to face him.

“Are you enjoying the movie?” You asked with a coy smile.

“I don’t even know what movie is on the screen right now.” Tom answered honestly.

“Do you want to turn it off and do something else?” You asked innocently and scooted closer to him.

“Did you have something in mind?” He asked and slid closer to you.

“There is this one thing I think we could try.” You said, just inches from his face now.

“I think you might be a mind reader, darling.” Tom said before connecting his lips to yours.

You woke up the morning in Tom’s arms with your bedsheets tangled around you. You knew your sheets were stained with the scent of his cologne now and smiled at the thought of falling asleep to that later. You turned around in his arms so you were facing him just as he was waking up. He yawned a little as his eyes fluttered open and smiled the second he realized last night wasn’t a dream. You laughed shyly and covered your face with your hands, but he just pushed them away to kiss you.

“So.” He said as he stared into your eyes.

“So.” You sighed happily. “Breakfast?”

“I’m not hungry yet. I need to work up an appetite.” Tom said and climbed right back on top of you.

After a week, the day of the dinner had arrived and Tom still hadn’t figured out how your relationship began. You spent a majority of that week together and despite that, Tom was just as lost as he was the first time you kissed him. You, on the other hand, had completely forgotten about finding out when your relationship began. It wasn’t until you were on the steps of his childhood home that you realized that if his mom asked you how you got together, you wouldn’t know how to answer her.

“Are you ready for this?” Tom asked when he noticed the panicked look on your face. You quickly smiled and slipped your hand into his.

“I am. Cause I got you.” You said before knocking on the door.

“Ah! They’re here! Come in, come in.” Tom’s mom, Nikki, said when she opened the door. You both walked in and she pulled the two of you into a hug.

“I’m so glad you could make it. Come to the kitchen and I’ll make you a drink.” Nikki said as she led you to the kitchen. You went to say hello to Tom’s dad and brothers as Tom talked to his mom.

“So Tom, I’ve been dying to ask you. When did you guys finally get together?” His mom asked as he poured Tom a drink.

“Oh, uh….” Tom trailed off and pretended he was thirty. He took a long sip of his drink because he knew that once he stopped drinking, he’d have to answer his mom. When Tom’s drink finally ran out, he looked at the empty glass before looking at his Kim.

“Excuse me for a second. I have to…poop.” Tom lied and quickly dashed out of the room. He saw Harry and Sam in the living room and grabbed them both by the backs of their shirt collars. They both let out a yelp as Tom yanked them into the hallway.

“Boy meeting.” He whispered harshly and formed a huddle while Sam and Harry rubbed their sore necks.

“I need someone to find out how Y/n and I started dating because I cannot figure it out for the life of me.” Tom said in a low voice.

“How are we supposed to find out if you couldn’t?” Harry whispered.

“Because I can’t just ask my girlfriend when we started dating. But you can. Whoever gets the answer gets a million dollars.”

“For real?” Sam’s eyes widened.

“No, but I’ll let you try on the Spiderman suit.”

“Bullshit. I’ve already tried it on.” Harry scoffed.

“Me too.” Sam nodded.

“Same here.” Paddy said, making the other three jump.

“Paddy? When did you get here?” Tom asked.

“18 years ago. Thanks for noticing.” Paddy rolled his eyes. “And since when have you been dating Y/n?”

“I don’t know.” Tom, Harry, and Sam said in unison.

“Well what’s our incentive for finding out?” Paddy questioned and the other two agreed.

“Oh my God. Fine. What do you want?”

“A million dollars.” Paddy said.

“No.”

“A hundred dollars.” Sam suggested.

“No.”

“A dollar.” Harry said with a wicked smile.

“Yeah. Sure fine. I’ll give you a dollar.” Tom agreed with a roll of his eyes.

“Fuck you all I’m winning this.” Harry said and ran to find you. He soon found you setting the table in the dining room and approached you with and eerie grin.

“Hey there, sister in law.”

“Slow down.” You chuckled. “We’re not there yet. Tom and I have only been dating for….”

You trailed off when you realized you didn’t have an amount of time to give him. Harry hung on to your every word, thinking he was about to get the answer, only to be disappointed.

“…a short amount of time.” You said after a beat and hoped Harry wouldn’t notice. Harry 100% noticed and felt his eye twitch as he kept his huge smile.

“I know, you silly billy. I’m just so excited that you two crazy kids are finally together. So tell me, how did it finally happen?”

“He didn’t tell you?” You laughed nervously, beginning to panic now that Harry was asking the exact questions you didn’t have the answers to.

“Of course he told me.” Harry lied. “I just want to hear it from your perspective.”

“I’m sure I won’t have any details to add. It’s whatever he said.” You shrugged as you finished setting the table. Harry stared at you for a long time before letting out a sigh of defeat.

“You owe me a dollar.”

“What?”

“What?” Harry asked as he left the room. He found his brothers in the hallway and hung in head in shame.

“I lost. I’m gonna go kill myself so thank your girlfriend for me, Tom.” Harry grumbled and walked to his bedroom with his head hanging low.

“Don’t worry, Tom. Your big brothers got this.” Sam said and patted Tom’s shoulder.

“You’re not my big brother.” Tom pointed out.

“I know. That’s why I’m definitely gonna disappoint you.” Sam smiled proudly before leaving the hallway. He went and found you in the kitchen now and casually leaned against the wall.

“Hey you.” He smiled and poked your chest. You looked down at where his finger had been before giving him a strange look.

“No. I am not explaining how tampons work again. I already explained it once and it’s not my fault that you passed out.” You said and folded your arms.

“That’s not what I was gonna ask.” Sam rolled his eyes. “Although I still don’t understand how it stays up there with nothing to hold it up there.”

“I’m leaving.” You said and tried to walk away.

“Wait, I’m sorry.” Sam stopped you. “I just wanted to ask about you and Tom. I am just tickled pink that you two are finally together. Do tell me, how did that happen?”

“I’m not talking about this with you. You’re putting off a real creepy vibe right now and I do not feel safe.”

“What? You’re totally safe. Just tell me how you and Tom started dating or I’ll kill you.”

“See you later, Sam.” You chuckled and walked away. Sam let out a sigh and retreated back to the boys.

“How did it go?” Tom asked.

“I threatened to kill her.” Sam said quietly.

“Oh my God.” Tom groaned and rubbed his eyes.

“Leave it to me. I’m getting that dollar if it kills me.” Paddy rubbed his hands together and went to find you. As soon as you saw him coming, you grimaced and braced yourself for what was coming.

“Hey, Y/n.” Paddy greeted you.

“Why are you all being so weird today?” You whined.

“Hold tight. I haven’t even been as weird as I’m gonna be yet.” Paddy warned you.

“Oh no.” You groaned and looked up at the ceiling.

“I just want to know how you and Tom started dating and nobody gets hurt.” Paddy said and pulled out finger guns. You looked at his fingers guns and let out a sigh before pulling him to the side.

“I have no fucking idea.” You whispered to him.

“Huh?”

“Harry texted me like a week ago and said that Tom said we were dating and I felt too guilty to correct him and say that we weren’t because I didn’t want Tom to feel bad if he really thought we were dating. But then I thought that maybe we were dating and I just hadn’t realized it so I went along with it and now everyone keeps asking me how we got together and I have no fucking idea.” You whined and looked around incase anyone was listening.

“Oh.” Paddy frowned when he learned the truth.

“Paddy, you cannot tell Tom. He can never know. It’ll break his heart.”

“Uh huh.” Paddy nodded too many times and knew he was immediate going to tell Tom.

“Can you promise me you won’t tell?”

“I can promise you that.”

“Thank God.”

“For a million dollars.” Paddy continued.

“How about one dollar?” You folded your arms.

“Deal.” Paddy agreed. You pulled a dollar out of your pocket, handed it to him, and sent him on his way.

“Well? Did she tell you?” Tom asked when paddy came back.

“She did tell me. And then she bought my silence.” Paddy smirked and held up his dollar.

“What? What the hell happened in there?” Tom whispered harshly when he saw the dollar in his brothers hands.

“You’ll never know.” Paddy laughed menacingly before leaving the hallway.

“You all failed me. Now I’m never gonna know and she’s gonna find out and dump me and hate me forever. And it’s all your fault.” Tom said and pointed to Sam and Harry.

“Our fault? You’re the idiot who didn’t realize when he started his girlfriend.” Harry pointed out.

“Yeah. You’re on your own now. In fact, I hope she breaks up with you and takes all your dollars.” Sam scoffed.

“Me too.” Harry agreed before walking away.

“Boys! Dinner!” Nikki called from the dinning room. Tom hung his head in defeat and trudged into the dining room. He took a seat next to you and gulped, knowing there was no more avoiding the question. You noticed Tom’s pained expression and put your hand on top of his.

“You okay?” You mouthed to him. Tom’s mom saw the interaction and smiled to herself.

“I’m so happy you two finally got together.” She sighed. “I knew it would happen. But come on now. I want details. How did it happen?”

You and Tom tensed up as the most feared questioned had now been asked. Everyone turned to look at the two of you and you felt the pressure rising.

“Oh. You know.” You laughed and waved your hand, hoping that would suffice.

“Actually, I don’t know.” Harry raised his hand to say.

“What? Who’s side are you on?” Tom whispered to him.

“Justice.” Harry whispered back.

“I haven’t heard the story yet.” Tom’s dad spoke up, making you both snap your attention to him with angry looks.

“Tom, why don’t you tell the story?” You said and patted his hand.

“No, no. You tell it much better than I do. You tell it.” Tom said and put his hand on top of yours.

“No, you. I insist.” You replied and put your hand back on top.

“Someone tell the fucking story.” Paddy deadpanned.

“Patrick.” Nikki gasped and looked at him.

“Who said that?” Paddy gasped even louder and looked behind him.

“It was…after…we wrapped.” Tom said slowly and carefully watched your face for any indication on if he was right or wrong.

“Yeah. We didn’t start dating until after we finished shooting.” You agreed with him. He thought he had guessed correctly while you thought you were finally finding out what really happened.

“But how did it happen?” Nikki urged. “Who confessed their feelings first?”

You and Tom looked at each other, expecting the other to answer. When you realized at the same time that the other was just as confused, you both started to get suspicious.

“Tom did?” You answered but it came out like a question. Tom frowned and furrowed his eyebrows because that did not line up with what little he knew. He would’ve remembered telling you how he felt and knew that he never had until after he thought you were together.

“I did.” He said, making you sigh in relief that you had guessed correctly.

“But only after Y/n told me how she felt.” He continued, confusing you all over again.

“Huh?” You blurted then quickly took a sip of water to make it look like you hadn’t said anything. It was too late, of course, and the family looked at you in confusion.

“Did you not tell him how you felt?” Nikki laughed in confusion.

“No, I did.” You quickly lied. You didn’t remember doing it, but clearly Tom thought you had, so you went along with it.

“Well what did you say? I want the romantic details, guys. How did you phrase it?” Nikki gushed.

“Aw, Tom. Tell your mom how I phrased it.” You smiled at him as you internally panicked. You didn’t have the slightest clue on how you phrased it since you had no memory of ever doing such a thing.

Tom, on the other hand, was just as lost as you were. He didn’t remember you ever telling him you had feelings for him. All he remembered was you kissing him goodbye that one night and then telling Harry that you were dating. If there had been a confession at any point, he surely would’ve remembered.

“No.” Tom said suddenly, making everyone look at him. You felt a jolt of dread, thinking he had realized that you didn’t know when you’d started dating.

“I won’t tell you because it was a special moment between us and I want to keep it private. For now, at least. Maybe we’ll tell you one day but for now, it stays between us.” Tom answered and put his hand back on top of yours. You sighed in relief and leaned in to kiss him to thank him for unknowingly saving you in that situation. Little did you know, Tom had just pulled that answer out of his ass and hoped his family would believe it so that he never had to and it that he had no idea how you ended up together.

To both of your relief, his family bought it. They thought Tom’s answer was perfect and therefore stopped asking questions. Tom didn’t know why Paddy laughed and shook his head when he gave his answer, but he decided not to question it. You got through the rest of the dinner and said your goodbyes after some tea and dessert. On the drive back to your place, Tom kept one hand on the steering wheel and the other holding your hand.

“That was a little stressful, I’m not gonna lie.” You chuckled as you looked out the window.

“A little? Darling, that was the most nerve wracking dinner of my life. I think my hair went gray a little just from sitting through that.”

“Aw, that’s okay. I still like you.” You laughed and squeezed his hand. He looked over at you with a smile before looking back at the road.

“Just out of curiosity, when do you think we got together?” You asked and held your breath waiting for the answer. Tom initially panicked at this question, then decided to bite the bullet.

“Can I be honest?”

“Of course.”

“I didn’t even realize we were officially a couple until you kissed me that night.” Tom admitted and looked over at you to see your reaction. You were frowning, only because this answer didn’t line up.

“That night you hit me with the smackazine?” You asked.

“No. When we hung out the night before that.” Tom explained, only making your confusion grow.

“I didn’t kiss you that night.” You laughed in surprise. Tom tried to keep his eyes on the road but couldn’t help looking at you with wide eyes. The entire reason he thought you were dating was because you kissed him that night, and now you were denying it?

“Yes, you did. You 100% kissed me that night as I was leaving. And I’m glad you did because I wouldn’t have realized we were a thing if you hadn’t.” Tom said. You fell silent and when he finally looked over at you, you were looking at him with a stunned expression.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” He laughed nervously.

“Tom, I did not mean to kiss you that night. It must’ve been out of habit since we had just finished filming. I didn’t even realize I had done it until now.”

“What?” Tom practically shrieked. “But that night, you told Harry we were dating.”

“Only because he told me that you said we were dating. I just assumed we had started dating without me realizing it.”

“But that’s what I thought.”

“Why’d you think that?”

“Because you kissed me goodbye that night!” Tom exclaimed and then went quiet.

“Ohhhhh.” You remembered it now. “I see now that this was my fault all along.”

“It’s okay. You didn’t do anything wrong. We just confused each other.” Tom laughed now that guy had gotten to the bottom of the situation.

“Did we gaslight ourselves into thinking we were dating?” You laughed as well.

“I think we might’ve.” Tom nodded and looked over at you with a smile. You returned the smiled felt peace for the first time all night. Your relationship may not have started in a traditional way, but it started, and that was all the mattered.

“Honestly, I don’t care how it started. I only care that it never ends.” You told him, making his smile grow.

“So this is us confessing our feelings? In case my mum ever asks?” He teased.

“Your mom can never know the truth. This conversation stays between us.” You chuckled and gave his hand another squeeze.

“Darling, as long as there’s an “us” for it to stay between, I’m good.”

Tag List 🏷️

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@letsloveimagines @peterparkoure @a-villain-vying-for-attention @justcallmehitgirl @jackiehollanderr

@maryjanee23 @geeksareunique @emmamarshmellow

@unbelievableholland @flixndchill @sovereignparker @every-marveler-ever

@undiadeestos @caelestii-e @eridanuswave @fiantomartell @solarxmoonchild

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#tom holland x reader #tom holland x best friend!reader #tom holland imagine #tom holland fluff #tom holland x you #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland and co #tom holland fanfic

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gentlebeardsbarngrill · 2 months

Text

02/23/2024 Daily OFMD Recap

TLDR; How To Help; Rotten Tomatoes Reviews/GoggleBox; Cast & Crew Sightings; Taika; Rhys; Leslie Jones; New Watch Party: These Thems; Save OFMD UK Billboard; Transparency policy; RhysDarbyFaction; We'reWolves; Fan Spotlight; Podcasts/Youtube vids; Articles; Love Notes; Daily Darby / Tonight's Taika

Hey all. I'm starting out with the how to help section tonight because there are some things we'd love to see happen to try and help with the renewal.

== HOW TO HELP ==

= Rotten Tomatoes Reviews =

Okay all, this is a big one. It's been brought to my attention by @bzy_hands on twitter, that there are less than 1000 reviews on rotten tomatoes for Season 2. They have an excellent point, Con DID screenshot Season 2. If you haven't already, please go over to Season 2 and review it to help get over that 1000 review mark.

Need help on how to review on RT? @lowrahh Was kind enough to make a tutorial for us, check it out on the repo: Review on Rotten Tomatoes and IMDB

== Let's Get OFMD On Gogglebox ==

Our crew-mate @queerly-autistic was kind enough to have written up a How-To on on getting OFMD on Gogglebox!

"One of the biggest things we can do to try and get Our Flag Means Death picked up by another network is keep making noise about it, and so I had a wild middle-of-the-night idea about one way we could do this: try and get the show on Gogglebox! For anyone who doesn't know, Gogglebox is an extremely popular and successful show in the UK on Channel 4, where ordinary people (and sometimes celebrities) watch and react to television shows, pop culture moments and films."

Wanna give it a go? Please check out their tutorial here!

== Cast & Crew Sightings ==

==Taika!==

It's been a minute since we've seen Taika! But he's out with Rita at the Taylor Swift concert.

= Rhys Darby =

Well, even though Rhys is taking some time off until March, we still have some Cameo's coming in from prior to him closing cameos!

= Cameo 1 - Cryptids! =

Thank you to @iamadequate1 for sharing this fun little cryptid video +

Tumblr / Twitter Links

= Cameo 2 =

Our friend @blackcravatart over on twitter was kind enough to share a birthday video for her (edited for names). I don't know if it's anywhere else and I didn't get permission to download it, so I apologize I'll try to do that and get back to you if we are allowed to share it elsewhere! Cameo Video on Twitter.

= Red Dead Redemption 2: Episode 3 =

The next exciting episode of Rhys playing Red Dead is up!

youtube

= Leslie Jones =

I really don't post enough about Leslie, who is my absolute idol. She's out doing comedy at the Hawaii Theater in Honolulu tonight with @lennymarcusnyc! Just wanted to give a shout out her way since she's a BAMF and deserves all the love.

== New Watch Party ==

Join @adoptourcrew on Friday 3/1 for a watch party of #TheseThems! Times haven't been secured quite yet but mark your calendars!

Watch Party Hashtags:

#TheseThems

#These Gems

#AdoptOurCrew

Wanna see what other watch parties are planned? Feel free to visit the repo for Watch Party Events.

== Save OFMD Billboard Campaign ==

Some of you may have noticed that there's been some suspicious pictures going up across multiple platforms regarding a billboard with the hashtag #WatchTheHorizon from our SaveOFMD Crew. There's definitely some Billboard planning in the works and the crew has provided a bit more transparency on the situation this time. All links in the images will be listed below.

Links:

SaveOFMD Crew Transparency Policy

Team HAVEN

Trans Lifeline

RainbowYOUTH

Outright International

Full Twitter Thread

== SchadenFreude ==

Just a little karma for WB.

== Rhys Darby Faction ==

So for those of you not on twitter, there was a bit of fun had with a random film poll guy who posted a poll that included Rhys Darby on Twitter.

It was found by OFMD twitter, and immediately started being retweeted, which, is how twitter works, right? His Response to this was:

So several of our OFMD Twitter group decided to OWN that lovely little name, and put together an actual hashtag #RhysDarbyFaction... and start polite menacing and trying to boost engagement for #AdoptOurCrew and #SaveOFMD Which triggered a meme factory, here's a few:

#RhysDarbyFaction is now a trending Hashtag on Twitter, and the Faction is using that to help support the #SaveOFMD and #AdoptOurCrew effort as well as spread positivity and love around Rhys Darby works. There's even a discord server if you're interested in joining: https://discord.gg/r7db78j4 There's been talks of putting together some events for a Cryptid Scavenger hunt, but in general it's just a small safe space to try and promote little guys and support the ofmd renewal effort. You don't need to join the discord to be part of the crew, just use #RhysDarbyFaction and be a polite menace/positive force!

== We're Wolves ==

So according to the #WellingtonParanormalPodcast's tiktok, it sounds like Jermaine is finally in talks for writing "We're Wolves"! A sequel to the 2014 What We Do In the Shadows movie. I know we've all been in a Vianton mood since that one Rhys Cameo, so just wanted to make sure you'd heard if you hadn't! SRC: Tiktok

== Fan Spotlight! ==

Getting close to the end of the month so gotta catch up! More collages from our friend @wnderngnomad on Twitter!

Day 23: The Cinematography

Day 4: Nat Faxon

Day 5: Vico Ortiz

Day 6: Leslie Jones

== Podcasts / Youtube Vids ==

Speaking of podcasts, checkout some podcasts from our fandom!

= Citizen Dame =

First up! @celluloidbroomcloset, has a podcast that’s called Citizen Dame. While it doesn't specifically discuss OFMD in this episode, they do discuss Taika, and you all know how much we love that man. So give it a listen and support a fellow crew-mate! Podbean Link / Patreon / Spotify

= Never Left Podcast =

Another fan-podcast I'd like to add tonight is Never Left! More podcasts and discussions on all things OFMD -- give them a listen if you feel up for it! "Welcome aboard our Safe Space Ship! Your Co-Captains, Ariana Perry and Amanda Catron, will be hosting this completely spoiled, totally unofficial, deep dive into Our Flag Means Death." Podbay / Linktr.ee

== Movies With Marty ==

Marty has a new First Watch video out! If you haven't watched Marty's vids yet, feel free to check them out! He's a hoot and is a HUGE supporter of OFMD!

youtube

== Articles ==

What to watch on Netflix and BBC this weekend?

Keeping promises of queer representation

== Love Notes ==

Today has been a long day lovelies, and I'm out of spoons so I'm gonna take a night off from writing out love notes and spread some from someone else. Just know I'm very proud of you for everything you did today, I hope you're doing well and feeling safe. <3

== Daily Darby / Tonight's Taika ==

Idk if these really go together tonight, but here we go. Both of them were on tenor with no srcs? Sorry! Hope you all enjoy!

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some-pers0n · 13 days

Text

Hi I made a crackfic for Arctic's death because I had a terrible, horrible idea inspired by that old fandom meme. I don't regret anything <3

"Aaannnddd...perfect!" Darkstalker stepped back. "All set and ready to go. Haha! Look at him! Clearsight, look, c'mon. Come see."

"Darkstalker, I don't think this is a good idea–"

"Shut up woman and come look," he bluntly said. "Come on, it's not like the camera's gonna bite you or anything. Neither is Arctic, but, eh, maybe that'll add to the drama. The kids love it when people get hurt, it's why they watch it."

He grabbed the camera again and pointed it at Clearsight. "It's rolling. Come on, babe, don't you wanna do it? For the bit? Ohhh it'll be such a funny thumbnail. Everyone's gonna click on it. Just stick your head near him."

"I'm not going to bite an innocent dragon..." Arctic muttered.

"HA! Oh but it's okay for you to do that to me. Not cool dad. Mid dad behaviour, tee-bee-haitch. To be honest. Tee-bee-haitch– you get it."

"Back in my day we just called somebody a 'loser' if they were a bad parent. Like, me? I'm a dead-beat dad."

"Yeah, that's true." Clearsight nodded.

"But I'm not...mid? What does that even mean?"

"Mannn you so did not cook. 'Dead-beat'? Yeah, you're gonna be dead as hell once I'm done with ya. Like for real done. Dead. Deceased. Ain't coming back from that."

"God just kill me now," Arctic grumbled.

"In a minute! Me. I'm God. It's me. Get used to it :)"

"What was that sound you just made with your mouth--" Clearsight began but Darkstalker cut her off. He couldn't bother to hear such a whiny, woman voice. He needed to pay more attention to the crowd that gathered.

"Hey, hey! Guys! Check this out! I'm a livestreamer. I do all of these cool things on Twitch and YouTube. Follow me! My handle's Darksalter. Like Darkstalker, but salty, cause of all of the noobs I own on my daily League of Legends streams."

The surrounding NightWings just blinked at him.

"Ughhhh. How about you guys being recorded, huh? You get famous! Right here, right now, this is a big deal. No cap, this is serious. This is gonna be a livestream to end all livestreams. There's gonna be like at least ten dragons watching!!"

"OH MY GOD!?" One dragon shouted. "TEN??? I've never seen anybody have that many, hold on! We gotta watch this guy!"

Immediately, the entire population of the Night Kingdom arrived. Even the queen (a closeted Darksalter fan, who was wearing all of his merch) was waiting for him. They all cheered and clamoured for him.

"Settle, settle! I know you're all such adoring fans. Believe me, I would love me too. Already do! Such a great, handsome, all powerful animus." He flexed his muscles. "Plus, the ladies love me." He glanced back at Clearsight, who had the most aggressively unenthusiastic frown he ever seen.

"But, but, we gotta wait a minute. First, I gotta mew."

"What does that even mean?" Clearsight asked.

Darkstalker did not answer. He brought a talon up to his snout and then traced the outline of his perfectly gorgeous jawline. I mean just look at that thing. Downright beautiful. Like, come on now. Look him up right now. Yeah, yeah! The thang of all time! That sweet, succulent jaw. Bro's been mewing since the day he was hatched.

[A/N: it is a pretty cool jawline]

He cleared his throat. "Anyways, enough talk. You had your shot for the thumbnail, so now it's all about me." He looked at the camera and enchanted it to float. It hovered above, pointing at him. "Three, two, one..." He clapped. "And we're live!"

The crowd cheered and roared as he did so. No omegaluls. No minus ones. He was an unboxing andy just about ready to tear open into his best work yet.

"Hey what's going on Stalker Gang! How are the stalkers in chat going? Can we get the hype train going?" He gestured to the crowd, which yelled and screamed louder. "Yeah!! Let's go Stalker Gang!!"

"Darkstalker...this isn't you." Clearsight sobbed. "You don't do this. You aren't like this!"

"Baby, I'm an influencer. It's my duty as Twitch's No. 27 streamer of all time!"

Clearsight cried more but Darkstalker did not care. He turned back to the camera. "Ayyy guys!" He clasped his talons. "So, today is a very, very special day, because we have a guest! That's right, my terrible, very uncool, incredibly mid father! Look at him. Blue pilled in every sense of the word. Even his blood's blue, which y'all are gonna see real quick." He pushed the camera directly in his face.

"Hey, hey, everyone!" He gestured to Arctic. "Can I get a 'boo' from you all?"

With his command, the crowd began to jeer at Arctic. A wave of rotting tomatoes came hurling his way, splattering against his face.

"And, with that being said, this stream is sponsored by Glep. Get a Glep. Now. Or else. You don't wanna be there when Glep is upset. That's how the last moon was destroyed." He stared silently into the camera for a minute, as customary with the Glep sponsors.

"NOW!! Let's get this going!" He pointed at Arctic. "You. Unbox yourself."

"Wh–" Arctic didn't have a chance to finish before he clawed at his torso and gutted himself. The crowd kept cheering and applauding and tossing money at Darkstalker.

"Woah woah, pretty messy, huh guys?" He raised an eyebrow. "Totally unpoggers. L behaviour. Boo!!" But when he turned back, he noticed that everyone stopped cheering.

"Bro, dude," one dragon began, "poggers is so, like, old man. That's so cringe, skull emoji."

Then, they began to dissipate. Quickly as they arrived, they left. He was cringe now. So cringe.

"No, NO! Wait! Come back! I'm still relevant! I'm still hip with the kids! I– I..." But it was too late. He was cancelled for being cringe. Everyone was bored by him. He was out-of-touch. He was out of time. He was out of his head when they're not around.

Behind him, he heard his sister, Whiteout, crying. He turned back to see that her favourite stim toy, a rainbow coloured pop-it shaped like a crewmate from Amomg Us, was lying on the floor. Things must be serious.

"Sis, are you upset at me?..." he muttered.

"Yes! You just unboxed our dad! My trauma points are like so high right now. I can't even..." She wiped her tears and kept crying.

Darkstalker looked back at Arctic, who was dead. Very dead. He growled. "When I'm the alpha king of the world, everyone will be my fan. Everyone will follow me! Everyone will like and subscribe! You'll see, you'll all see!"

#sp-writing #wof #darkstalker wof #wings of fire

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s-4pphics · 10 months

Note

i NEED to see a street racer ellie x grid girl reader fic IM ON MY KNEES FOR THIS🙏🏾🙏🏾

OHHHHHHHHHHH WEVE DONE IT AGAIN IMPULSIVE HCS

wc;cw: 800 or sum, streetracer!ellie, gridgirl!oc, ellie being a car nerd and hot, mentions of sex MDNI, mentions of ciggies and illegal shit

streetracer!ellie…… passes out

she always loved cars :3 her dad owned a mechanic shop and used to watch him repair all the damaged cars that showed up

when she was thirteen he finally let her help him replace the tires

and then change the oil

and then fix the ignition

eventually taught her how to drive stick😝😝

and 2 years later she knew the anatomy of vehicles like the back of her hand

she was on her dads payroll 💯💯 shout out to mechanic!ellie😞

when she found out ab street racing she got obsessed with it. 2 fast 2 furious is her favorite movie of all time

her youtube history was wild😞😞 30 hours of devon aoki edits saved

so when she got invited to a race by one of her friends when she was a junior for her birthday she almost passed out

the screech of the tires on the pavement and smell of gas gave her heart eyes

she swore she was going to participate in a race after they both left that night

SIKE she thought everyone laughed at her when she showed up the next day in her dads beaten up family van LMFAO

the bullying was devious fr😞 she cried a little when she got home

but ofc her friend helped her ass out and high jacked his brothers old nissan

the overseers allowed her to participate but nobody bet on her except her 2 friends. that $20 pitch didn’t help her confidence much but she loved them😞

she was nervous and filled with adrenaline and tried so hard not to gawk at the hot girls that waved their grids around

when they waved their flags and signaled for the racers to go….

ellie was out that bitch fr😞😞 SKKRTED ON THEY ASS BIG PURRR

VVRRRROOOOOOOM LIKE BFRRR

she hit every sharp turn every curve every bump like it wasn’t shit

she made everybody eat they words that night. HAPPY BIRTHDAY QUEENIE😝😝

some overseers gave her $300 outta pocket that night and she wasn’t even on the list to race

her and her friends went every weekend. would leave campus and go straight to the tracks fr

she started getting a little fan base after a month of racing😞😞 girlies from school would come just to see her

but she didn’t pay them any mind💯💯 she payed them a little mind

n 5 years later…. most betted on racer in the city YUHHHH

she makes racks every weekend… and she brings it all home to her dad so she can take care of him 🥺🥺

he doesn’t question where she gets the cash from but he always feels nervous when she leaves the house🥺🥺 poor old man he just wants his baby to go to college

she owns one mclaren senna but never takes it anywhere😞😞 it just sits in her garage lol she paid for that shit in cash tho big bags big stacks

drives a fucked up supra when she races😂😂 she tries to cover up the scratches and large dents with cute little spray paint jobs of fire and sparkles and shit😂😂

she named it renee and slaps the trunk like she slaps ass every time she gets behind the wheel :3 thinks it’s good luck

smokes cigarettes mmmm fuuuck

such an aggressive racer like omgg she gets so competitive and pissed she's so hot

tatted to hell. full sleeve

TERRIBLE RECORD!!!!! arrested twice and was on parole :/

but at least all the grid girls got a little crush on her 😳😳 titties out ass out bc they want her attention

all the male racers hate her bc of it… she don’t care tho suck her dick💯💯

she’ll never say it but…

she definitely stares too long at one grid girl whenever she shows up in her little croppies and booty shorts😞 she’s fine as hell ITS NOT HER FAULT💯💯

too bad gridgirl!oc doesn’t pay ellie any mind anymore :((she had the prettiest smile and such good pussy

that ooey-gooey. that sloppy. THE WORLD'S BEST CREAMER💯

did i mention they're ex's? YEAAAH CLOCK THAT TEA

every time ellie fills up her tank she can’t stop thinking about the time she bent her ex over the trunk and railed her from the back

she may never feel that pussy again 😞😞 it makes her wanna cry

when she met gridgirl!oc for the first time two years ago her world changed for the better

her zits disappeared, her hair got softer, her crops were watered

they fell in love immediately…. like instantly

they were inseparable. up each other's ass. in each other's cars. in each other's guts. so so happy

until they weren’t

their breakup was soooo fucking messy.

cheating accusations. screaming contests. EVEN A PREGNANCY SCARE???😳😳😳

a hot mess. and their relationship ended in flames :(

but that doesn’t mean ellie can’t peep every once in a while😛😛 that ass is still fat as fuck regardless of the beef >:)

#ellie williams smut #ellie williams au #ellie williams headcanons #ellie williams hcs #streetracer!ellie #gridgirl!oc #ellie williams #ellie the last of us #ellie tlou #lesbian

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klaus-mikaelsonslut · 9 months

Text

dating george clarke...

he's such a sweetheart fr 😘

buys you flowers n all 🌷

you're constantly featured in his youtube videos and the useless hotline

all of his friends love you 🙌

but grace, she becomes your long lost soulmate 🫶

you're literally inseparable, gets to the point where george has to drag you away

jealous bf 😔

living with george and his...interesting roommates is definitely something

jk jk arthur and alex love you fr 😘

if you're an aspiring singer, you and arthur definitely swap and criticize each other's lyrics

go play 'you're not a god' while you're at it!

alex is the type of guy to listen to 'queens of the stone age' for sure or 'foo fighters'

plays his music way too loud so when you and george are cuddling for example, george has to shout out to him to get him to turn it down lmao 😭

george is most definitely an amazing chef

brings you a cup of tea every morning 🍵

actually banging though

because you're born in london and have a thick accent, george loves to mock it while you imitate his posh bristol accent

you two are literally so in love

grace or max will take photos of him just gazing at you

"look at you! you big softie"

saw it on someone else's account but it's so true 😭😭, if you're influencer then you wouldn't really bring him to events as much bc he'd just stand in the corner with a little drink in his hand

literally wouldn't know anyone there 😭

you and max become really good friends so quick

back to that useless hotline headcanon, like andrew does you'd be on george's lap in the episodes that you're featured in 🫶

max is literally so invested in your relationship

double dates w him and andrew 👫🍜👬

you and george created your own lil podcast called 'honesty's the best policy'

gets so many reviews icl

it's one of the podcasts where you don't have guests, it's just the two of you

"google play 'just the two of us' by bill withers"

you talk about your relationship, you read random reddit stories and give your opinions, talk about upcoming events/the current news

it's a great way for the both of you to become really open towards each other, not that you weren't before

since the start of your relationship, your channel has received so much more attention

you're grateful always 🫶

you and george make a video looking back at your first few videos (you were, in fact, fourteen years of age)

you're embarrassed asf but laughing the whole way though

so glad you got out of your teenage clothing style 😘

was an actual disgrace against humanity

cooking together, reading to each other, cuddling while watching films

literally so comforting

when you meet his family, they LOVE you

can't get enough of your brilliant sense of humour

#comedian

before you moved in together, you two would ride trains to go see each other

running to each other in the station

#movieworthy

his hugs are literally the best, he's so warm it's like hugging a large cat

kinda sounds insulting but i swear it's not 😭

speaking of cats, you have one or two...

okay, when he went to yours for the first time you had four

😭

MILLIE BOBBY BROWN HAS THIRTEEN WHY SHOULDN'T YOU LIVE OUT YOUR DREAMS

they all love him

your oldest cat, sylvester, literally hates strangers for unknown reasons but loves george

he's literally full on purring and you're just like 'wtf??'

do you move all four cats into george, arthur and alex's flat?

yes, yes you do

luckily they all love cats 😍

except alex...he's slightly sceptical lmao

your relationship with george is so slay 🫶🫶

you love him through everything and he's the same to you

he whispers 'i love you' when you're cuddling 😭😭

literally on the ground

personally, i would never recover

#george clarkey x reader #y/n #youtuber #influencers #george clarkey imagine #i'm in love #delusional

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cloverstayy · 2 months

Text

𝙽𝙴𝚅𝙴𝚁 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙱𝙸𝙶 𝙼𝙰𝙳 → 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚗; 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚘𝚗

So, for those of you whom aren't subscribed to Christopher's Bubble OR whom haven't either heard and/or seen about the most recent Bubble antics recently on other forms of social media, the man decided to live out his K-Drama Fantasies on behalf of Chan Stans and Stay everywhere.

What exactly did he do, you ask? Well, to put it simply (and trust me, this is difficult because Chan is my bias) he broke up with us, tried to accuse us of cheating, but then admitted it was him who had been cheating to then admitting he was playing a simple joke on us and reassured us that he'd never want to do anything to hurt us (bless him, I swear). Who was it? It was Berry. Yes. His dog, Berry. 😒😂

I'm pretty sure non-Chan stans were convinced there was something actually wrong with him due to the number of Tiktoks and Fans posts I personally saw, however, us Chan-biased knew the man was full of shit and was most assuredly pulling some of his usual Chan-coded shenanigans.

In any case, my bestie and twin @ariaphoenix26-blog demanded I post this somewhat random as fuck idea I had yesterday as head canon. So, yeah.

𝙽𝙴𝚅𝙴𝚁 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙱𝙸𝙶 𝙼𝙰𝙳

It didn't matter what Chris did, how he said it, or why he did it. The simple fact still remained the same: you could never get mad at him.

→ Chris is the type of man that if asked, he'd likely do some crazy shit for the person he loves. Walk over hot coals? Sure. Dodge a few bullets? Yeah, no problem. Clean your shared living space, wash and fold laundry, put away dishes and cook dinner last minute? Of course.

→ But ask him to do something like, take out the trash? Well, fuck all of that.

→ And, truthfully, its not because he's incapable. He's exceedingly able to do said task. Its just...well...well he gets really hyper-focused on a task, especially a task he wants to do, it kind of--sort of--slips his mind.

→ And sure, the first few times he tells you this and flashes that thought-paralyzing smile, its suddenly not a big deal and you have no problem taking it out yourself.

→ However, the moment it goes from "a few times" to "too many times", you're suddenly finding yourself overcome with a rather new emotion. At least, when it comes to anything related to Chris.

→ You're big mad. Furious even. And its justifiable! Even Chris would agree with you. He's a grown ass man; he knows better.

→ However, the stars align and the universe conspires against you the morning you do ask him to take it out.

→ You're running late. You have an entirely packed work schedule. You slept for literal shit the night before. Your favorite pair of work pants weren't clean. You didn't have your favorite breakfast yogurt and you had to do mandatory overtime to top it all off.

→ So you ask Chris last minute as you're hastily packing up your work bag to take out the trash before you get home from work later that evening.

→ "Yeah, yeah, of course, beautiful! I'll take care of it." He promises and you believe him. Because in that moment, you don't have the time nor bandwidth to remember to question him about the other times he forgot. So, in your haste, you thank him and plant a kiss on his forehead before dashing out the door for work.

→ Well, see, Chris really did intend to do it. And he even wrote it down on a post-it note that he stuck to the monitor of his computer to remind him. But then he got distracted, watching Stay vlogs on Youtube. And then he got inspired by a mashup of Case 143 and God's Menu that a Stay had made, so he had to mess around in his studio.

→ Then suddenly it was 6:30pm. Chris is the literal physical embodiment of If You Give A Mouse A Cookie.

→ Chris hears the door open when you arrive home. And then the subsequent shout of his name. Okay, you're definitely not happy. He's also pretty sure he hears some slamming of somekind, maybe.

→ But it isn't until he hears your little feet stomping down the hall towards his studio door that he cannot help but find you the absolute cutest thing he's ever seen and heard than in this moment.

→ And lets be clear...Chris never invalidates you or dismisses you when you're upset. He just can't help but find it really fucking precious.

→ But you? Well, you're pissed. And you're determined to let his ass know. Because every other time you have been upset with him, he somehow disarms you completely and you immediately forget why you were mad in the first place.

→ Its damn near impossible to be mad at him. I mean, look at him. How can you get mad at that face? You can't, that's why.

→ Anticipating you, Chris is on the other side of his studio door just waiting. And as expected, he hears the all too familiar bang, bang, bang of your fist making contact with the door.

→ You do your best to strengthen your resolve. This time you're gonna give him the people's elbow and really let him have it. He just couldn't keep getting away with this. You know it. He knows it.

→ But that was before he'd opened his door. Well, after your little fists pounded his door, he promptly opened it and looked down at you. His head cocked to the side, one brow lifted as if he has absolutely no clue why you're standing there with your arms crossed, tapping your foot against the hardwood floor while wearing a really pathetic attempt at pure ire.

→ And you were so determined to proverbially throat punch the man, especially after the day you'd had (and to be fair, Chris probably would've let you literally throat punch him if he knew it would make you feel better). But once he opens the door and the scent of his studio and him bum rushes your nostrils, your eyes dart up to his and...and...

→ Well, god fucking damnit.

→ What were you even mad at him for? Why is he looking at you like you're some sort of damsel in distress? Why is he smiling? What's so funny?

→ "CHRISTOPHER!" Is all you can manage, your voice coming out in more of an exasperated whine and definitely not sounding any bit angry.

→ Chris stands there and mirrors you, crossing his arms and leans into the door jam with his head still cocked to the side. One of his dimples is showing and you just know he fucking knows. He knows why you're standing there. And he knows why you're upset. Or, well, you think he knows just based on the way he's looking at you like the cutest little creature he's ever seen.

→ You release your crossed arms, letting out a very audible huff through your nose as you do and you just stare at him. Blinking wildly, trying to find the resolve you knew you had about 60 seconds ago. But where it went, you haven't a fucking clue. Because he's standing there...just looking at you like you are the cutest little creature he's ever seen.

→ "Baby?" He finally responds. His voice is calm, suddenly soothing your rattled nerves. You let out yet another huff, but this time its a little less intense and you drop your shoulders.

→ "I hate you. You know that? I'm mad. I'm mad at...you!" You press your finger gently into his chest as you speak, "But...but I can't fucking remember why now because you're looking at me like that and...and...UGH!"

→ Chris knows you had a rough day. He doesn't even need to ask you to know it. He just feels it radiating off of you. So, he cocks his head to the opposite side as you stand there, trying to be mad about something and looking less and less like the raging bull you thought you did and more like a shrieking squirrel.

→ And Chris lets a beat of silence go between the both of you before he simply places each of his hands on either side of your arms and brings you close to him. You hear a soft sigh breach his lips before he leans in and presses a firm, but gentle kiss to your forehead.

→ Yeah, this fucker disarmed you with the forehead kiss this time. Damnit, damnit, damnit.

→ He leans back up, straightening himself upright before giving your arms a gentle squeeze. And he doesn't say anything. His arms fall back to his sides as he resumes his previous stance against the door jam. He's still smiling at you like you are the cutest little creature he's ever seen.

→ You let out one last sigh. Well, the man did it again. And you can't even be mad. Because I mean, look at him. Try being mad at him. Its impossible.

→ You give a shake of your head before spinning on your heels, heading back down the hall towards the kitchen. But you feel Chris' eyes are still on you. And you look back over your shoulder and yep, there those brown little boba eyes are, locked on you.

→ "I'm mad at you. So don't you dare stare at my ass as I walk away from you." You look forward again, but not before you place a hand on each butt cheek in a feeble attempt to block Chris' gaze.

→ And all you hear are his muffled giggles. His absolutely adorable, precious and cute giggles. Fucking shitbird.

59 notes · View notes

unyandere · 2 months

Text

Yandere villain x snarky reader who doesn’t mind dying- pt.2

Tw: some sass, insults, swearing, threats, possible ur mom jokes, bad English

For all the people who voted the other options during the poll: everything on the poll will be written in the near or not so near future, probably

Part 1

After three days of yelling “LALALALALALALA” to shut up the villain your throat hurts like hell and you can’t talk.

“Well, sweetheart, not so noisy now, are we?” He asks mockingly after you gradually stop shouting at him.

You give him a middle finger.

“What do you mean by that? Why don’t you tell me loud and clear what you mean, hun~?” He asks sarcastically feigning an innocent expression.

Saying that you want to kick him in the face is an understatement, if only you weren’t handcuffed you would have already killed him.

“My oh my, sweety, what’s with that grumpy face? Turn that expression upside down unless you want something to happen” he orders with an happy voice.

You just raise your eyebrows at the threat and prepare yourself to kick him if he gets closer.

“Wooow, I’m So sCaRed! WhAt wIlL I dO If sHe kIcKs mEee?” He says mockingly “now, honey, turn that grumpiness into happiness unless you want to experience some baaad 10 minutes”

He gets closer than he was before, but he’s still out of reach for your legs when he takes something from one of his pockets, you can’t see what he’s holding, tough.

“Now, babe, this is your last warning: stay grumpy and your gonna regret it” he says and activates the thing he had in his hand.

You can see some fire come out of whatever-it-was-he-was-holding-in-his-hand and pale a bit, your head is spinning while trying to come up with the best thing to do: changing your expression means losing to him, which means that he will use this method every time he wants something from you, but not complying with his request will get you hurt and it’s such a small thing you need to do, wouldn’t it be a shame to ruin your body just to win against him? But, if you do win against him during this quarrel he might not bother you again, since he’ll never convince you to do anything!

So… yeah you mess with him and get even grumpier, while giving him a ✨ triple middle finger ✨ (there are tutorials on how to do that on Youtube) .

“Oh, so that’s how it’s gonna be? Well, hun, you brought it upon yourself” he says, shrugging and holds the thing he has in his hand, you can now see that it’s a pretty big lighter.

He gets closer and closer, until he’s just centimetres far from your legs reach.

He takes the lighter and throws it on you.

You do your best to try not to show how scared you are, but it’s a pretty difficult task when you and your clothes are fucking burning

You shake and get the lighter off yourself, but your clothes are still burning and you don’t have anything to stop the fire, I mean, you do try to spit on the clothes, but it doesn’t seem to be working at all.

So… You just give up at the fact that you’ll die because of your clothes on fire… there are worse deaths, that’s for sure. You think of smiling, but don’t, you don’t want to give him this satisfaction.

You had already accepted your fate when the Villain just dumps some smelly water over you.

“What, sweetheart, you thought I’d just let you die?” He asks smiling at you like nothing happened.

You blink at him, trying to understand what just happened, and decide to give the finger to him, just to be sure you “voice” your thoughts.

“Wooow, how original!” He answers sarcastically in return.

So you decide to tell him “I fucked ur mom last night” with the ASL (American Sign Language) that you learnt as a kid to talk with a friend of yours.

The Villain just looks at you with a puzzled expression and then takes out his (really old) IPhone 4 and starts tapping something on it.

He then looks at you.

“Can you please redo the signs you did before, hun?” He asks with the phone in his hand.

You give him a classical, but still effective, middle finger.

“…Fuck you too, hun… Fuck you too…” he says, just giving up on translating what you signed.

You decide that from now on you’ll use the ASL more, just to piss him off.

You are sure that when you’ll be able to escape from here the first person you’ll be visiting will be your deaf friend and you’ll thank them from the bottom of your heart.

But to do that, you’ll have to think of a plan to escape or to get the hero to come here to rescue you.

#male yandere #yandere oc #yandere x reader #yandere x you #yandere #parody #yandere villain

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mariacallous · 2 months

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Far-right extremists have spent the past week harassing and threatening migrants on the United States border with Mexico while making money by livestreaming it on YouTube and Rumble.

“Anybody in there,” said Dennis Yarbery, one of the YouTubers, as he approached a migrant camp at night in Jacumba Hot Springs, California, near the border last week. Yarbery was livestreaming to thousands of people. “Come out, come out wherever you are.”

Yarbery is one of three men who split off from the Take Our Border Back convoy in Texas and, according to their livestreams, spent days driving along the border in Arizona and California to harass migrants and volunteers with nonprofit groups.

“We’re illegal hunters,” Yarbery told a store clerk while livestreaming at a Subway sandwich counter in Jacumba Hot Springs. “I’ve hunted a lot in my life, but I’ve never actually hunted people, and that’s what we’re doing now.”

Yarbery, who is known online as both MasterGrifter and Big D and says he joined the People’s Convoy, a group that protested Covid lockdown measures and disrupted traffic, in 2022, was joined by Josh Fulfer, known as OreoExpress, and Joe Felix, known as Taco Joe, who runs 1st Responders Media, an outlet focused on livestreaming far-right events.

Throughout the hours-long broadcasts from the border in Arizona and California, these livestreamers regularly asked for donations from their supporters, which they claimed was being used to continue their work “covering” the crisis.

Even while in the middle of harassing the migrants, the livestreamers could still be heard thanking those who were sending them money via YouTube’s Super Chat function or through other platforms like Venmo and the Christian-aligned crowdfunding site GiveSendGo. In one situation, while Fulfer was shouting at migrants in Arizona telling them to go home, he stopped briefly to call out a supporter who had sent him $50 on Venmo.

These livestreamers come after weeks of inflamed rhetoric from both the far-right community and Republican lawmakers about immigration at the Texas border with Mexico. This year, the situation has erupted: After Texas governor Greg Abbott refused to heed the Biden administration’s calls to remove razor wire along the border, a dozen GOP governors publicly declared support for Abbott, and the Take Our Border Back convoy traveled from Virginia to Texas. Though the convoy petered out, the violent anti-immigrant rhetoric, which experts have warned would have long-term impacts, has only heightened.

“The post-convoy terror campaign against immigrants at the border follows an all-too-familiar pattern we’ve tracked for the past couple of decades,” Devin Burghart, the executive director at the Institute for Research and Education on Human Rights, tells WIRED. “Public bragging about ‘hunting people’ is a descent into a dangerous new low for armed vigilantes. Left unchecked, armed far-right vigilantes will spill more blood.”

After the livestreamers left Texas, they went to Sasabe in Arizona and a migrant camp run by No More Deaths, a humanitarian organization that provides support for migrants crossing the border.

During an hours-long livestream at night, Yarbery, Fulfer, and Felix all shouted at the migrants and accused them of human trafficking. Yarbery even tried to sell cigarettes to the migrants for $20 each. At one point, Fulfer threatened violence against a migrant who was shining a torch at their cameras.

The trio also verbally attacked a volunteer who worked with the organization, following her around as she phoned for help from US Border Patrol, according to livestreams of the incident viewed by WIRED before they were taken offline.

Yarbery, Felix, and Fulfer didn’t respond to WIRED’s requests for comment about their actions at the border.

Laurie Cantillo, a board member from Humane Borders, says the organization, which maintains water stations along migrant routes near the border, is aware of the allegations of harassment. “We have noticed an increase in vandalism of our permitted water stations along the border,” Cantillo tells WIRED. “Our 55-gallon barrels have been shot, stabbed, drained, and stolen. It’s a sad state of affairs when someone sabotages water that can save a human life.”

US Border Patrol and No More Deaths did not respond to multiple requests for comment about the incident. One former volunteer with No More Deaths, who did not want to be identified due to safety concerns, told WIRED that they were not surprised no one replied, as the organization “may not want to draw extra attention to this event.”

After departing Arizona, the trio of livestreamers headed to California, where they continued to try and track down migrant camps. On several days their searches were fruitless, though they continued to broadcast and solicit donations through YouTube.

After Fulfer and Felix departed, Yarbery continued to “hunt,” as he called it, and during one broadcast over the weekend, he livestreamed with his partner and their baby while driving toward the border in Jacumba Hot Springs.

While there, Yarbery met with locals to discuss the migrant situation, and in one conversation a man could be heard on the livestream saying, “I say we shoot ’em all,” before Yarbery told him to be quiet as he was broadcasting live on YouTube.

YouTube told WIRED that it terminated Fulfer and Felix’s accounts after WIRED asked about the livestreamers, but it did not take action on Yarbery’s account. All of Yarbery’s videos, YouTube said, were set to private by the account holder. Yarbery has also created a backup channel, and told his followers in a YouTube chat where they could continue to follow him on the platform.

For years, extremism experts have been tracking how violent rhetoric around the border and migrants has led directly to violence, dating back to the 2000s when fear-mongering attacks on immigrants led to the mobilization of far-right paramilitary groups, one of which brutally murdered Raul Flores and his 9-year-old daughter Brisenia.

“Sadly, this cycle of violence has become so common that it tends to go unnoticed outside of the communities targeted by far-right vigilantes,” Burghart said. “This time around, the Black Mirror-like difference is that tech advances now allow [people like Yarbery, Fulfer, and Felix] to stream and monetize their cruelty to a far-right fanbase that craves more.”

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ghostfanwriter · 8 months

Text

✨🍓 𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐰𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 🍓✨

🍓 Pairing: Joel Miller x Younger Fem!Reader

✨ Setting: No outbreak au.

🍓 Synopsys: Technology gets the best of Joel, and he ends up with a ton of strawberries. Thankfully — as he would say — half of them are yours.

✨ Features: Joel being clueless about technology; A bunch of fluff and Joel doing his best to annoy reader; Flirting; Slight thigh riding at the end (real quick, I promise).

🍓 Word count: A but over 1.2k

✨ About this: This was originally written for another person, and maybe you've even read it already, but...

🍓 Author's Note:... I love it a lot, and it gives me Joel-dealing-with-technology vibes. So I rewrote a few parts (because girly wasn't that good neither) and decided to give it to you all 🩷

The early morning sunlight gently lightens up your living room.

You're on your yoga mat practicing when your YouTube video is interrupted with a phone call.

It's Joel, and considering he's always finding reasons to call you, you don't find it strange.

You answer with a sweet and dragged "Hii".

"Hey baby, are you home?" You notice his voice slightly breathy.

"Yeah, doing some yoga, why?"

It takes him a second too long to respond, but when he does...

"Does that mean you're in yoga pants?" He asks, and you can see his grin on the other side of the phone.

"No. That means I'm still in my pijamas." You play along with it.

You love it.

"Oh, that's even better." He says, and you laugh.

Joel can sometimes be... Something else.

He is this overworked and low-key grumpy middle aged man who seems to almost exclusively be in a bad mood. But no matter how hard you try — and quite honestly, you were certainly not trying — to hate the man, you just can't.

The only times you've ever seen him smile were when he was with his daughter.

And he seems to each day be less and less in a bad mood since you two got together.

"Why does it sound like you're running?" You ask, as he grunts and his breathing gets even more laborious.

"Oh, I'm walking actually, just left the grocery store." He says.

"Are you coming over?" You ask, thinking of why he didn't go to his house, or took his car instead of walking to your place.

"Yeah, I'm gonna give you some strawberries."

Strawberries?

"Why are you bringing me strawberries?" You ask, chuckling.

"I've bought too many, and I won't need all of them. So I'm giving them to you!" He says enthusiastically.

And part of you believe him, but part of you certainly doesn't. You just can't tell when he's being honest and when he's messing with you.

"Oh, alright. Waiting for you then." You say sweetly.

You're gonna let him think he's fooling you.

"Be right there to help you out with those shorts." He answers.

Not even five minutes after you spoke to Joel on the phone, your interphone rings.

You answer it, and the doorman greets you by your last name.

"Hi, Miss. Joel is down here, can I let him up?"

"Hi, hum... does he have something with him?" You ask, trying to find out if he wasn't lying to you.

"Hum, he has two boxes." The doorman answers.

"Big boxes?" You ask.

"Kinda big, yes. He looks a bit tired too." He adds, whispering the last part so Joel wouldn't hear it.

"Tired from carrying these over!" You hear Joel's voice shout in the distance.

You hear the doorman and Joel laugh.

"Ask him what's inside the boxes, please."

"Right. Sir, what's inside the boxes?"

"Oh, she knows what's inside the boxes. Strawberries! Just let me go up, c'mon!" Joel shouts again, loud enough for you to hear.

"Can I let him up?" The poor doorman asks.

"Yes, let him up. Thank you, sorry for the whole thing." You say, apologetically.

"It's alright, miss. I've gotten used to the two of you." He says laughing.

"Ask her to wait for me with the door open, please, these are kinda heavy." Joel asks the doorman, his voice enough to reach the interphone.

"Sure. Did you hear that, miss?" He asks.

"Yeah, I did, thank you. Will be waiting. Have a nice day, thanks and sorry again!"

"My pleasure, have a nice day too!" He says and hangs up.

You open your apartment door and look at the elevator, that stays almost in front of it. Not even a minute later, it stops and the door opens, revealing a heavy breathing Joel, holding two huge boxes of strawberries.

"Hey." He says casually, grinning — or was him laughing at the confused expression in your face?

"What...?" You whisper, looking at the boxes.

"Let me in, they're heavy." He pants and you let him enter, closing the door behind you.

"Why did you buy all these strawberries?"

"Not important." He dismisses you. "Remember how I said I was gonna give you half the strawberries I bought?"

"Yes?" You ask, dragging the word, afraid of the answer.

He looks at you, then at the box. Then at you again, a wide smile on his face.

You get it, but deep down you don't want to believe it.

"I'm actually giving you almost all of it!"

"WHAT?!" You almost yell.

"I know!" He almost yells back.

"Joel why did you buy all these strawberries?"

"Because I know how much you love strawberries!" He says while going to the other side of your island, sitting on one of your stools.

He is laughing and you just know he is lying straight to your face.

"Joel, there are two boxes, each of five kilograms of strawberries on top of my counters. You don't want me to believe you thought I would have any recipe that requires fucking ten kilograms of strawberries, did you?"

"See? Means you can make more than one recipe!" He says, laughing.

"JOEL?!" You almost scream, trying not to laugh, biting the smile forming on your lips.

"Smoothies, cakes, pies, strawberry covered with chocolate, you love those!" He says, and you take a deep breath, not believing the man in front of you.

"Joel! How did you end up with all these strawberries?" You ask, breathing deeply to stay calm and not laugh anymore.

Nor jump on his neck.

He hesitates a bit before answering.

"I bought them using the app you told me about." He starts. "But I didn't know how it worked, so I got the sizes wrong, and when I received them at home... I didn't know what to do." He admits, his cheeks red.

"You said you were coming from the grocery store." You say, confused.

"Lied. Thought you would maybe believe that it was a surprise…?" He says, shrugging, his big brown eyes glistening while he looked at you.

You were holding your laugh inside this whole time. But now, seeing the defeated look in his face, you can't help but burst into laughter.

He stares at you.

"What?" He asks, his own embarrassed laugh slipping in.

"How did you mistake the sizes?"

"I thought I was buying two boxes of 500 grams, not 5 kilograms. It was one for me and Sarah and one for you." He says, laughing a bit at his own mistake. "I was thinking you could make her ice cream and that cake she likes. And then there would still be some left for you." He pauses. "But now there's gonna be a lot left from it." He laughs.

You think it's adorable that he was actually buying one box for each of you.

That he wants you to bake for Sarah.

You walk towards him, cupping his face in your hands.

"I would have loved to see the delivery person's face when you saw the boxes." You say and laughs, thinking about how confused he must have looked.

"Sarah saw it, she said it was pretty funny." He admits, laughing.

"How can you be so silly, old man?" You ask, running your fingers through his soft, slowly greying hair.

"Don't know, maybe I was thinking about you when I bought the boxes. Got distracted." He grabs your hips, pulling you closer, placing his right thigh in between your legs.

"Oh, it's my fault, then?" You ask, rolling your hips softly, rubbing yourself on him.

"Kinda, yeah." He smiles.

"And how can I make it up to you?" You ask, pulling his hair softly.

"Well, you know… maybe… I don't know… you could help me clear my mind." He suggests, squeezing your hips.

"Would love to." You say before kissing your man.

You truly love just how... Unpredictable Joel can be sometimes.

Hope you liked it, it brings a smile to my face everytime I read it.

Have a nice day, besties 🩷

Masterlist 🩷

#joel miller x reader #ghostfanwriter #joel miller x female reader #fanfic #joel miller #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal's characters #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fluff

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