#both of them are just ..so down bad lmaoooo

[sanasanakun]

I just know deep down in my heart that the Tarnished and Ranni have the raunchiest sex up in wherever tf they are after leaving the Lands Between lmaooo they are absolute freaks

#both of them are just ..so down bad lmaoooo #like a thousand fucking years of stress and then the pining ahhhh they have alot to work out hahahaha #ok i am super fucked up rn on this brownie my sister gave me #ingore this #IGNORE #THIS #hahahaha #im playing elden ring again #what do i tag this #elden ring #DUH #ranni the witch #tarnished #ranni x tarnished #i want everyone to see the truth hahahhaha

[honeipie]

THE MOMENT

izuku x fem!reader

synopsis: izuku is asked the exact moment that he fell in love with his wife, and he knows exactly when

authors note: why do i keep writing about podcasts all of a sudden lmaoooo 😭 also i proofread this when i was tired asf so if it’s bad sorryyyy

“it’s really nice to have you here mr. midoryia! thank you for agreeing to join us on our podcast. we know how busy you are saving the country, so it’s nice to see you in a different light” the man flashed him a smile, which izuku was happy to return.

“yeah of course! i figured i should see why everyone is telling me that this podcast is so great” izuku crossed one of his legs over the other. his pr team thought it’d be a good idea to branch out from the regular news interviews and talk shows, so they had scheduled him a podcast episode on the number one podcast in japan.

“so having the number one hero with us is of course a prime opportunity to pick your brain. all about your hero work, who your role models were throughout the years, and maybe let us look behind the big deku label and just let us get to know midoryia izuku if you allow”

izuku nodded with his picture perfect smile “i’d like that. most people don’t respect that i’m an actual person and not just some figure with no feelings, so i really appreciate that”

the host nodded looking down at his phone “so first we wanted to give you a big congratulations! you are your wife are celebrating your second year of marriage. that must be nice”

“yes we did! thank you from both of us really. i took some time off and we had a really, really nice vacation together. it was nice to be away from all the eyes for a while”

“of course! i know it can probably get hard with all the fans that you have. everybody wanting an autograph, kids lining up to meet you, both women and men alike wanting a chance with you even though you’re clearly married. how do you deal with that in your relationship?”

“a lot of communication, like, a lot” izuku nodded his head slowly just to make his point “we set boundaries to make sure we’re comfortable with everything that happens. like one thing she’s not very comfortable with is fans kissing me on the cheek, and i totally respect that! the first time it happened we did have a bit of falling out but we communicated and got through it”

the host nodded his head listening along “he’s not just good at saving the world folks! he’s also a relationship pro”

this made both of them laugh easing away any underlying tensions that were there before.

“staying on the topic of your relationship we have a question. every week we ask people what questions to ask to our guests when they come onto the show, and the most asked question was this. what was the exact moment that you fell in love with your wife? i mean she must’ve done something to make you look at her the way you do”

“hearty question,” he joked rubbing his hand against his chin “but i’m pretty sure i know when. it was back in UA, third year. it was our last big event before we graduated and i was struggling to get ready”

he could imagine it like it happened yesterday. third year izuku midoryia stood looking at himself in the mirror with an annoyed look on his face. it had been three years and he still hadn’t learned how to tie his damned tie. the lump of a tie sat dead center on his chest staring right back at him, taunting him.

it’s not like he didn’t try to learn. he had kacchan try to teach him. that didn’t end well. he had his mom try too, and he ended up getting his hands tangled. and youtube? forget it.

he silently cursed to himself taking off the tie once more. there were three soft knocked at his door, which at this point, annoyed him further.

“kacchan i said i’d be right out! could you at least wait five minutes before coming back?”

“izuku? it’s me” your voice alone made his shoulders ease. he came over to the door shaking his head.

“i’m sorry y/n. i thought you were kacchan-“ when he finally got a good look at you all of his words caught in his throat. you were wearing a sage green dress that went down to your ankles. he wasn’t complaining though because on the left there was a slit where he got a good view of your legs “but you are definitely not him”

you walked past izuku white heels clicking against the floor “i sure hope not. i don’t think he can pull of this dress like i can” izuku shut the door softly then made a beeline over to you. as soon as you turned around you noticed he was leaning down to kiss you “woah there pretty boy,” you held up a single finger blocking his lips “attitude check first, kisses later. what’s the matter?”

he sighed when you rejected his advances “i don’t have an attitude-“

he stopped when you made your ‘don’t lie to me face’

“fine,” he stood in the mirror and watched as you stood next to him. you looked stunning. the way you wore the dress like it was perfectly crafted for you had him staring long and hard. it made him feel like a doofus beside you with his slightly messy hair and chunky tie.

“i can’t get my tie right”

you snorted turning him towards you “you’re acting like that’s new news” he rolled his eyes at your comment pulling away from your hands “no! baby i’m sorry i didn’t mean it” your hands gently grabbed his wrists pulling him back “i’ll do it for you”

his eyebrows scrunched together as you started slipping off his tie “you know how to tie ties? how? why? when?”

you couldn’t help but laugh at his confused state going to wrap the tie around his neck again straightening it out “my grandma taught me. she said that i need to learn if it i ever find that special man in my life. i didn’t really believe her because who the hell would i be tying a tie for?”

he watched carefully as you flipped the tie around with ease. folding it this way, then slipping it through one of the openings. he also watched your face. concentrated on the task at hand. his heart was racing by the time you slide the perfect knot up to his neck. tilting your head you nodded.

“but i’m glad she did y’know,” you grabbed the middle of his tie pulling him in for a kiss. he wrapped one of his arms around your waist and the other hand went securely on your back. when you pulled away there was a stupid grin on your face “cause there’s no one else i would want to do this for”

it was like he was getting hit by a truck of nostalgia. all the feelings he felt in that moment came rushing back to him. the swoop of his stomach when you pulled him into the kiss. the alarms blaring in his head from the new sensation.

he. was. in. love.

the kind of love people look for in movies, books, shows. he found that in you.

he sighed into the kiss going to move you against the wall. you had your hands on his waist trying to steady yourself. when he pulled away your face was flushed from his sudden actions. which he made sure not to mention in the podcast.

“well maybe i should do your ties more often”

“yeah.. you should”

izuku snapped out of the memory finally placing himself back into reality “that’s how i remember it. i don’t know if my wife remembers differently” he shrugged with a smile on his face.

“wow, that is straight out of a romance book. so does she still tie your ties today?”

izuku nodded “oh yeah, i don’t trust anyone else to do it. even on our wedding day i forced her to tie it. she was all worried about me seeing her before the wedding so i covered my eyes”

you stood there in your white dress trying not to laugh at your 6 foot husband covering his face like a child playing hide and seek “you really want me to do this?”

“please honey”

“only since you asked so nicely, but no peeking!” walking over you went to put his tie on like you did every other time. when you finished you gave his chest a pat “there you go champ”

“y/n.. you didn’t give me a kiss”

“what?”

he let out a childlike sigh “every time you do my tie you pull me in for a kiss. that’s how this works”

now you laughed.

“izu we can’t kiss before we have the wedding. it’s not the way it goes”

“i won’t tell anyone!”

after a couple moments of silence he could feel a tug on his tie as you drew him close. it was a quick kiss, but just enough to get him through.

the host nodded along a bit jealous that his love life wasn't as magical.

"if only we could all be like you and your wife deku”

“i get that a lot. my wife’s pretty great”

taglist! @sagejin 🫶🏾

lmk if you’d like to be added

#honeipie #anime #bnha x reader #mha #writing #x reader #izuku x reader #izuku midoriya #mha midoriya #bnha midoriya #drabble #bnha deku #deku x y/n #mha x reader #deku x reader

[leclerc-hs]

lucky (bonus!) - cl16

Pairing: charles leclerc x fem!reader Summary: in which you and your childhood best friend have sex for the first time. Warnings: BAD FRENCH! (I didn't get to check these translations so if they're wrong please correct me and I will fix!), smut, angst, cheating (oops) Word Count: 1,381 Author's Note: hi! I felt that Charles and Lucky having sex later in their friendship was the right move. I was in between making them younger, but it didn't feel right writing about teenagers having sex to me lmaoooo. I love you guys and hope that you enjoy!!! please leave feedback I love hearing from you all. xo PART 1 PART 2

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

HE WINS IN Spa; He wins in Monza!

The air was filled with a mix of adrenaline, joy, and the unmistakable scent of burnt rubber from the track. The vibrant red of the Ferrari flowed under the brilliant Italian sun, reflection the passion of this moment. The crowd’s cheers echoed, creating a symphony of celebration that seemed to envelop the entire circuit.

Your heart raced with a blend of pride and excitement, knowing that your best friend had achieved something extraordinary. The victory at the Ferrari home race was more than just a win; it was a triumph that would be etched in the annals of racing history.

Turning your attention to the podium, you marveled at the sight of your best friend standing tall, a champion stood above in the midst the cheering crowd. His racing suit adorned with the iconic prancing horse; he wore the victorious smile of someone who conquered not just the track but the hearts of fans worldwide.

The tears welled up in your eyes, a testament to the shared journey and countless hours of hard work, dedication, and sacrifice that led to this moment. You were so happy for him.

The podium ceremony unfolded with the spraying of champagne, and as the golden droplets shimmered in the sunlight, you couldn’t help but feel proud as you savored the moment completely. 

“Il s’est très bien debrouillé!” He did so well! You muttered to Lorenzo who greeted you with a big hug of excitement.

“Oui! You’re needed in his driver’s room,” Lorenzo responded with a smile. “Il m’a dit plus tôt.” He told me earlier. 

You patiently waited in his driver’s room, lounging on the compact leather couch. When the door swung open at last, with his race suit unzipped at his waist, you leaped to your feet with excitement. 

You cried out, “Mon dieu, Charlie!” My God, Charlie! before leaping right into his arms, clinging onto him tightly. “Je suis tellement fiere de toi!” I am so proud of you!

He felt his heart pound rapidly as you leaped into his arms. He wanted to tell you right then and there that he was in love with you.

“Nous devons célébrer!” We must celebrate! You waited for him to place you back down on your feet, but he never did. At least not as soon as you thought he would. He just held you there, staring at you as if you were the sun.

“My Lucky,” he says. “It’s all because of you.”

It was quick. One second, he was smiling at you as he held you up against him, and the next you were pressed against the door with his lips on yours. You felt your stomach clench from the heat of the kiss.

“Est-ce que c’est bon?” Is this okay? You nodded into the kiss. Yes – yes it’s okay. 

It wasn’t supposed to happen like this. In fact, it wasn’t supposed to happen at all. You both could blame it on the fact that he just won a major race or the rush of emotions from the win. But it was just love. Not that either of you would ever admit it.

His hips had you pinned to the wall, completely at his mercy, while his hands fumbled with the button of your jeans. “Puis je les enlever?” Can I take these off?

You didn’t provide a verbal response; instead, you assisted by pushing the jeans down and shimmying out of them. His fingers immediately nudging their way past your cotton panties and hooking two of them right into your center as his thumb rubbed your clit in quick circles.

“Tu es tremée,” You’re soaked. He moaned into your mouth, the vibration of his groan echoing hotly into your mouth.

You moaned back softly into his. Your moans alone were enough to send Charles into a rampage. He wanted to listen to you for eternity. It was in this moment, he thought he never wanted to hear anything else from your mouth again.

You skillfully removed his race suit from his hips before he guided you to the same compact sofa you just waited patiently on. His lips never left yours as you both fell to the couch – you now straddling him. 

You both were so frantic. So needy. The only time your mouths separated was for him to whisper the foulest things. They only fueled you to ride him harder.

You’re so fucking tight.

Just like that.

Squeezing me like you’re going to come, Lucky.

Such a good girl.

C’mon let me feel you come.

I can feel how fucking wet you are.

You both came simultaneously, heavy breaths exchanged into each other’s mouths. It was so hot.

The suddenness of it all left you breathless, caught off guard by the intensity of the moment. One second, his tongue was pushing its way into your mouth again. The next, you were pushing him away, standing up from the couch as you rushed to find your jeans and get them back on.

The reality began to sink in, a shadow over the fleeting moment. He has a girlfriend, a detail that changed the complexion of the situation. You felt sick to your stomach as the reality began to weigh down on you.

Although the term girlfriend was a bit of a stretch, you felt awful. But you didn’t regret it. You could never regret anything with Charles. He was your person. Your best friend. 

“Nous ne pouvons pas refaire ça.” We can’t do this again.

“Lucky.” His arms, once a source of comfort, now felt like constraints as he grasped you. The taste of his kiss lingered, but it was overshadowed by the bitter understanding that boundaries have been crossed.

You yearned for a different reality where his girlfriend didn’t exist, but the weight of the truth remained. Accepting, you grappled that some things were beyond your control. 

“Cha, c’est bien.” It’s okay.  With a heartfelt effort, you mustered up the biggest smile, gently cupping his face into your hands. Despite your warm gesture, his eyes reflected a sadness, a longing for something more, a desire that he couldn’t act upon. 

“Tu es mon meilleur ami.” You’re my best friend. “Nous oublierons que cela s’est produit.” We will forget that this happened.

Charles shook his head in disagreement at first, but you stopped him. You needed to shift the conversation. You were supposed to be out celebrating. “Nous devons célébrer!” We must celebrate!

You urged Charles to get dressed quickly. You needed to get out of the confines of this room.

Physically, Charles nodded with a smile, but internally, he felt nothing but pain in his heart. It’s always been you. He wanted to yell that she means nothing to him, that it’s you who means everything. 

“Allons-y,” Let’s go. You grabbed his hand, leading him out of the driver’s room to kick off your night of celebration, leaving the pressing issues behind. Pretending as if nothing changed. He was your best friend. You were his best friend. Nothing changed.

🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️

Charles found it unbearable. The attention you were attracting was driving him to the brink of madness as he sat in the booth of the club, with his girlfriend beside him.

“C’est toujours elle,” It’s always her. She leaned over into Charles ear. 

His so-called girlfriend wasn’t oblivious, like he thought. She always picked up on his gaze following you, his constant talk about you, and the fact you were consistently his top priority. Initially, she shrugged it off, given your close friendship. It only became apparent to her when she sensed that your needs started taking precedence over hers. 

She couldn’t even pretend to ignore the marks on his neck. 

“Quoi?” What? Charles finally glanced at her, breaking free from his trance on you. It only prompted laughter from her, evidence that his attention was solely fixed on you. He heard her though. He just didn’t want to acknowledge that he had been caught.

“You’re wasting my time,” his girlfriend muttered before standing up, grabbing her things to leave. “If you want her, tell her.” These were the final words she uttered to Charles before exiting the club, leaving him behind.

But little did she know that he had attempted to share his feelings for you numerous times. It just never worked out. The timing was always off. 

#charles leclerc x reader #f1 imagines #charles leclerc fanfic #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc angst #charles leclerc fic #charles leclerc smut #f1 imagine #f1 x reader #charles leclerc #lucky

[jazeswhbhaven]

"Kiss Me More" Mammon <3 (Attacker L-card Prologue React) *Spoilers*

We start here with our Tartaros babes <3 The angels are out attacking them in this huge field that's pretty much on the outskirts of the city. But everyone is handling it pretty well!

First we have my hubby Valefor, holding down the fort with his shields with that big dick energy of his. I swear though he's so cool ya know. Then Bimet while saying something about charging angels a pass fee (love him for that) his skulls are crushing the angels like nothing.

Then sweet little Eligos, the lesser devils that are fighting all come to him, and he's like "EVERYONE CODDLE ME" and they start petting him and giving him praise and he's taking in all of their minor injuries like nothing. So it seems to me Eli can both take away pain and fight at the same time. Neat.

RAH RAH RAH YEAH LETS GO. Tartaros holding it down fr. And we have MC...doing their best by adding Solomon's power to everyone's shields which is pretty cool that we actually get to witness what it is that MC can do in battle.

LMAO Satan allowed MC/Us to go because he knew Mammon would make sure nothing bad happened. And he's right. (also this plays into my ship with Astra and these two when I said he only trusts Mammon to be romantically involved??? hehehehehehe)

But MC starts being a fucking perv during battle and I think it's funny as hell.

First off. That's hot. I'd tell him after battle he looked hot wiping angel blood off him like it's nothing. MC was all like "Damn it's like when food spills all over your big breasts and...ooop." And I was like nah mc me too me too....Valefor with them big ol bigglies just hiding them behind that armor....

And then they were thirsting about how Bimet's bob was swaying and how his serious scowl looked hot and how they wanted to kiss him. Same. And then they look over and Eligos is smiling and waving and MC waves back and that's when all the other devil soldiers around him wave too and MC gets embarrassed lmaoooo

"I should take this seriously" Yes MC, you should...but I mean getting horny on the battlefield isn't too farfetched, we do remember Marbas, Dantalian, yeah they were wildin' on the battlefield too in their comics.

Then we move on to big daddy Mammon <3

Just out here, killin' angels like it's nothing per usual. Love that for him.

Also his muscles were swelling and shit apparently and I'm just here like

pls let me see. i wanna see. animate this or something now.

So while he's going his thing, the angels decided to go after MC and and naturally Mammon is like "nah" and this huge gold curtain is sumoned and they all fall and crash.

Then MC spots an angel that got past his sight and was running up from behind him to attack....

SO COOL SHIT. MC was able to absorb the power from Mammon, and shielded him from the spear! And Once that happened, one of Mammon's hands crushed the angel and that was the end of it.

Except...

OMFG he's...so struck with awe and adoration for MC doing that for him that he's blabbering and being soft and cute and is like "your weak human body tried to shield me wow" (thanks mammon) and goes on about how this act is definitely that of his master and his lover.

OISANFIUSBAFKKKKKKKKKKKSNKJFN LOVEAR???? FOISNFLKSNZC<>Mmmcmmmmclskkk

(admin is having an error apparently)

GOD HES SO FUCKING HOT WHY

MAKES HIM WHAT

So in that moment he picks up MC and was talkin' bout how even their anxiety is cute, everything is cute, he wants everything about them and I'm screaming omfg

Now here's the fucking kicker.

Suddenly hands lift them up in the air and forms a shape around them right? Mammon. Made a fucking house in the middle of battle.

Out of his golden hands. A FUCKING HOUSE YA'LL.

So you're tellin' me. This devil, was so struck with romance that he made this fancy ass gold house in the middle of battle just to passionately make love to MC because they protected him????? F U C K

YES

H E L P

Mammon pls.

SI R

I'm ready.

Yes daddy I am.

And then it just kinda cuts off after that who the fuck knows or cares I'm trying not to cream in my seat cause Mammon is a big fuzzy romance nerd who wants to stop what he's doing to fuck during an angel attack I'm not okay.

He really said "fuck ya'll I'm makin' love to my master rn I love them."

I have to be strong. I don't wanna spend money on seals when this is going to the red key banner later I really don't. I also am just gonna wait for spoilers that others post that are nice enough to do so and that will fuel me.

I love how soft and romantic Mammon actually is, like out of all of them he's just a big ol' soft bear that wants you to love him genuinely and be his and you also be his and any act of love makes him this way omfg.

Also, this was a quick one part because hm seems like they made the prologue shorter than Beel and Levi's. I assume PB felt they gave too much away in the prologue so now they're cutting back a bit. Makes sense. Only makes us want to pull more so we can see what happens...

I'll do Satan's here in a bit (or tomorrow) his is nearly not what you'd expect it's actually more about what happens BEFORE he even shows up lol. see you there lovelies -your lovely admin♥( ˆ⌣ ˆԅ)

#whb #what in hell is bad #whb mammon #whb spoilers #whb new cards!! #mammon blurbs💛 #yeah we're at it again with daddy mammon #this made me want to forget everything and present a ring

[lincolndjarin]

Bound in Beskar

From the world of Best Kept Secret...

A down on her luck traveler finds employment with a gruff Mandalorian. He's quiet and reserved, she's resourceful and quick witted, and things are heating up in the forge... one can only imagine what happens in this tale of lust and steel.

Some of you may recall our dear princess!reader in bks reading a book in chapter 20, this is that. Vaguely in the style of those campy romance novels that you read in the bathtub with candles and wine.

warnings : armorer!mando, no use of y/n, reader is not described past the fact that she is manhandled and carried by mando, smut, unapologetic porn with a little plot, i use the phrase 'throbbing member' just once i promise it's ironic please believe me guys, spanking, pussy slapping, dom/sub undertones, sir kink, unprotected sex, creampie, praise, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, humiliation, p in v sex, inappropriate use of blacksmithing abilities, ro makes things up about blacksmithing, bondage, use of restraints, briefly mentioned ass play, inappropriate use of a hammer, size kink, sweet rough sex, power imbalance (mando is readers boss, but both parties are consenting), definitely a few things i missed my apologies, barely beta read i was in a rush sorry!!

word count : 3.8k

a/n : this is so bad but also like i love it LMAO like i promise it's supposed to be kind of bad guys you have to believe me lmaoooo. this was really fun to do omfg this is my magnum opus in the worst way possible

You don’t know his name. 

There wasn’t even an interview. You’d come knocking on his door when you saw the sign in town on the news bulletin board. You’d shown up with everything you owned in the canvas bag on your hip as you knocked on the large brass door. The house didn’t look like a shop, it just looked like a house, a large house, when he finally opened the door you could see why. Just beyond his hulking figure you can see his work space, the majority of the building is devoted to just one room, high ceilings and brick walls surround the enormous forge. 

“I saw your flier for a live-in housekeeper, is the position still available?” You’re so sick of sleeping in alley ways and rooftops, you’d do nearly anything for adequate lodging. 

He had examined you, the cold, unfeeling steel of his visor scanning up and down your body until he nodded. 

“You can clean?” The low, controlled voice drips through the modulator making your blood run hot. 

“Yes, and cook.” You hold your hand out to him, he only nods in response as you tell him your name. 

“You start now.” Is all you get as he motions for you to step inside.

So yeah.

You don’t know his name and he never tells you.

So you just call him sir. 

The room is nicer than any you’ve ever had. A little space at the top of the stairs, a soft worn out mattress and a desk with a crooked stool. You take it with a grin, you can’t remember the last time you slept somewhere warm. 

You set your things down as he instructs you to follow him back downstairs. He shows you around, although there isn’t much to see. The main room is large with an open ceiling for the smoke, an ornate forge takes up the center, the fires crackle from within as he leads you to a small kitchen. 

The first thing you note is how barren it is. One skillet hangs from a hook and as you search through the drawers most of them are empty.

“I will give you extra credits this week for supplies.” He sounds almost embarrassed as he ushers you out of the room towards his own. “Once a week I’ll need you to tidy up here and do the laundry, it is of the utmost importance to me that you knock when you do.”

“Of course.” You nod slowly and he puts his hands on his hips. There’s a moment of silence before he turns and returns to his work without another word.  

You are to cook his meals, buy the groceries, clean the house, and stay out of his way. In exchange he provides housing and a salary of two hundred and fifty credits a week along with any change from the grocery money he gives you. 

You almost want to ask how no one else applied to such a generous job offer but the quiet foreboding presence of your employer makes it obvious enough. It wouldn’t surprise you if people feared him, you’re certainly a bit jumpy around him. He’s just so… big. He takes up so much space, stomping around the shop all day as you take care to stay out of his path, cleaning up the messes he leaves behind. 

You stay extremely vigilant, opportunities like this do not often arise for you so you give him no reasons to question your performance. 

You go to the markets, bundled up in your cloak once a week to keep the kitchen stocked. You wake before him to prepare his breakfast, you tidy up the forge before he opens the shop to make it presentable. You cook, you clean, you repeat. When there is no work to be done he dismisses you, telling you to make yourself busy elsewhere and you always do. Taking walks or retreating to your own quarters. 

You do this for quite some time. 

He doesn’t necessarily soften up towards you but he seemingly grows to tolerate you more. 

You try different things, baking, knitting, painting and anything else you can get your hands on but no hobby ever seems to stick so eventually you take to watching him work. Sitting at the top of the stairs, dangling your legs over the railing as he hammers the smoldering metals. He’s an artist really, the quick precision of his strikes with the hammer, bending steel to his will to craft the custom fitted pieces. It makes you wonder why his own armor looks so worn down when he clearly has a gift. Everything but his helmet is worn down, scratched up dark metals that he often tosses aside when he works late into the night. 

After long days of work when the shop is closed he’ll toss aside his chestplate and pauldrons, opting to remain only in his helmet as he rolls up his sleeves revealing the warm tan skin beneath. You always feel as though you can’t breathe right when he does this. His strong, toned arms, littered with burn scars from years of work. 

You can’t deny his appeal. 

Even without the armor he is huge. The wide expanse of his shoulders that smooth down into a narrow waist. You don’t even need to wonder about what’s going on under the helmet because everything else is just so much. Those hands, that neck, his chest, you’re practically drooling when you watch him work late into the night, sitting at the top of the stairs, clutching a steaming mug of caf as you squeeze your thighs together. You spend most nights with your hand between your legs thinking about your employer.   

It isn’t a bad life, it’s repetitive but it’s happy and safe which is more than you’ve ever had before. The Mandalorian treats you well, sometimes he speaks to you outside of orders, sometimes over dinner he asks you how your day was. You even have enough money to start a savings box. 

Nothing changes and you’re fine with that.

Until one night when he’s working late, working on something smaller and detailed. You had started to tidy up around him, already in your pajamas as you padded around the forge in your nightshirt and shorts. You were sweeping when it happened. 

“Kriff-” You slip on a scrap of fabric, you grab onto the ledge of the forge, trying to catch yourself. Your breath catches in your throat as you knock a hammer off of the stone, nearly falling face first into the molten metal.

You don’t even have time to scream as the wind is knocked out of you and you’re sharply yanked backwards away from the heat. 

“Do you have a death wish?” It’s the most emotion you’ve ever heard from him, anger that threatens to spill out of his helmet. “If you fall face first into that you’d be dead in an instant.” He hisses out, hands now shaking your shoulders. 

“I- I’m sorry, it was an accident.” Your face gets hot with shame as the veins in his neck pulse. “Please don’t fire me.” You whisper, fear of losing everything you’ve worked for over one simple mistake. 

He sighs.

“I’m not going to fire you, I’m just going to discipline you.”

“Discipli-” You start to question him but he sits down on the anvil, motioning you forward with two fingers before patting his lap. Your eyes go wide at the implication.

“Tell me to stop and you can go back upstairs, it won’t affect your job." He whispers earnestly.

You don’t want him to stop. 

So you go to sit in his lap but he clicks his tongue under his helmet.

“On your stomach.” His voice is lower than before as you swallow loudly, bending yourself over his knee, hiding your face in your hands. Your ass is on display for him under the short sleep shirt you wear. “How many do you think you need to learn your lesson?” 

“How many what, sir?” 

“How many spanks.”

Oh.

You pray to the Maker that you aren’t soaking through your shorts right now. 

“Umm… fifteen?” You aren’t exactly experienced in the subject but you don’t want to pick a number too low.

“Fifteen? Look at you my little over achiever, you must truly be sorry.” He muses with an amusement you’ve never heard from him. His large palm massages the globes of your ass, you’re so painfully turned on at this point you’re honestly a little worried you’re gonna come the second he starts. “And can you tell me why you’re being punished?” 

“B-because I knocked over your hammer?” You stammer out and you feel a sharp sting as he pinches your ass. 

“No, you sweet thing.” He bunches up your top a bit higher as he simultaneously yanks down your shorts pulling a yelp from you, he definitely knows you’re wet now. “It’s because you weren’t being careful, you weren’t focused on what you were doing and you almost got hurt.”

“No, I was focused I promise-”

“But you weren’t. You were sitting up there watching me, getting yourself all worked up and by the time you got down here you were so horny you got distracted and almost got yourself killed. What would I do without my pretty little housekeeper?” You’re speechless for several reasons. He knows why you watch him? He knows how much it turns you on? 

He called you pretty. 

And his. 

“Tell me why you’re being punished?” He repeats as you clear your throat. 

“Because I wasn’t paying attention.” You mumble. 

“I want the exact answer.” 

You’re so embarrassed you could just die but something about the shame makes your blood run hot as you rub your thighs together rather obviously, earning a chuckle from your companion. 

“Because I was so worked up from watching you and I was distracted, and I almost got hurt.” You whisper, hearing a pleased hum from him. 

“That’s my smart girl. Are you ready?” 

“Yes.”

“Yes…?”

“Yes, sir.” You quickly correct yourself before bracing yourself for the first smack. 

One. 

You’re surprised by the softness of the smack. It’s more like a pat against your rear. 

“Still good?” 

“Yes sir.” 

Two. 

You squeak a bit, this one being significantly harsher than the first, before you’re prepared he’s back on you. 

Three, four, five, six. 

You’re making a sound that’s a mix between a moan and a squeal as his bare palms come in contact with your ass in four consecutive sharp spanks. He rubs his hands over the flesh that you’re certain is already welted and swollen. The next spanks come long before you’re ready. 

Seven, eight, nine, ten. 

Tears sting your eyes as he lays into you as if you’re beskar steel that he can bend to his will.

“Look at that.” He remarks with a sense of accomplishment as you let out a soft whimper. You feel his finger gliding along your thighs and up your seam making you shudder before he holds his glistening digits in front of your face. “Are you enjoying yourself, sweet thing?” You nod with a small hum, praying he’ll just touch you already but you aren’t so lucky as you feel a slap against your pussy (Eleven.) that has you whining, loud and high pitched as you clench around nothing. 

Twelve. 

Another slap to your cunt, you can feel your clit twitching as a groan is punched out of you. 

“Gods, are you gonna come like this?” He sounds terribly amused as your body tenses. 

Thirteen. 

He spreads you wide open, giving your clit a little tap that has you lurching forward in his lap. 

“Come on, you can do it.” The condescending tone only makes you want to please him more, you want it so bad as he ghosts a finger across your dripping hole. 

Fourteen, fifteen. 

On the final slap his hand stays pressed against your mound, applying just enough pressure to throw you over that edge. You’ve never come quite like this, nearly wailing as tears now flow freely as your body turns to putty in his lap. He has melted you down and made you something new. 

He lets you work through it for a while, rubbing your back until you come back to your senses. He lifts you from his lap, your legs wobble and shake as he stands you up.

“I gotcha.” He murmured as he picked you up bridal style, carrying you up the stairs before laying you down in bed. “You did so good, such a good girl for me.” He whispered as you closed your eyes, absolutely exhausted. You felt the blankets pulled up over you before you drifted off. 

You swore you felt something press against your forehead. 

When you wake for the first time since you started working for him, breakfast is already made. A plate of bread and meat sits on your desk along with a glass of water. Your ass is raw but other than that you feel more than fine. You aren’t sure what to expect when you go downstairs but it certainly isn’t the silence you're met with. 

It’s as if nothing happened at all. 

He doesn’t even acknowledge you as you frown, attending to your daily tasks. 

He barely even looks at you. 

You go to bed that night frustrated and upset.

So you come up with a plan to get his attention.

You mess up in every way possible. 

You ‘forget’ to make his breakfast. You leave metal scraps on the floor. And you go to bed early, hoping he’ll come upstairs and punish you for your mistakes but he never does. You ignore your duties for a full week before you finally snap at him while he’s locking up. 

“Do I have to throw myself into the forge again to get your attention?” You finally snap at him. 

“Excuse me?” He turns to face you, holding his tongs in hand. 

“I have been a terrible housekeeper for days and you haven’t so much as scolded me!” You throw your hands up in exasperation as he shakes his head. 

“Is that what this is about? My forge is a mess because I haven’t been giving you enough attention?” He tilts his head to the side and you actually feel a bit guilty, when he puts it like that you seem rather petulant. You nod, feeling rather ashamed. He points at the anvil. “Lay down. Now.” You waste no time, rushing over and laying down on your stomach across the large steel surface, his large hands pin you down in place as he takes position behind you, clearly fuming and clearly hard as his hips meet your ass. 

It’s a harrowing juxtaposition, how careful yet rough he is with you as his hand holds you by the back of your neck, pressing you into the cold metal of the anvil. You’re practically giddy with anticipation as you feel a faint heat on your wrists as they’re yanked behind your back. There’s a sizzling sound and you register a metal wrapped around your wrists, arousal and fear course through you as you feel a nearly painful heat that has you trying to look over your shoulder. He pushes back harder on your neck.

“Don’t move.” He grumbles as you go still. When he finally takes a step back you turn to look at what he’s done only to find your wrists shackled behind your back, they aren’t just locked in place. 

He’s welded them together.  

“You want my attention so badly? Then you’re gonna get it.” He yanks down everything below your waist, your tights bunching at your ankles as he pulls your skirt up to your hips. “You’re a terrible housekeeper, maybe I should find another use for you.” He kneels behind you, spreading you wide open with his hands, the cool air from the skylight chills your soaking folds. His fingers poke at you as if he’s examining you. You’re grinning as you wait for him to finally touch you in earnest but instead you feel cold steel pressing into you. You flinch away from the sensation but he holds you in place. 

“Sir- please-” You whine but all that gets you is a slap on the ass as he pushes the object in deeper. You groan, it isn’t all that thick but Maker it’s long, brushing up against spots inside of you you’re certain you’ve never reached before until the base of it bumps against your clit, the heavy weight shifting inside of you as it clicks. 

He put his fucking hammer inside you. 

“Maybe I can use you to hold my tools.” He remarks as he stands. “Would you like that? If I kept you around to hold my things?” He walks over to kneel in front of you now, tapping your face with his fingers. “This is a lesson, you know.” 

“What lesson?” Your voice is more strained than you expected. 

““That if you want something, you need to ask for it.” He whispers through the modulator as you nod.

“Please.” You whimper.

“Please, what?” 

“Please, I want you to touch me.” You sway your hips as best you can like this as he runs his fingers across your cheek.

“Like this?” Bastard.

“I want you to fuck me.” No point beating around the bush. “Sir.” You add on a beat later, hoping to encourage him. 

“That’s all you needed to say.” He stands back up and you groan as he yanks the tool out of you, running his fingers through your wetness as you hear the rustling of fabric and zippers before something thick and soft swipes through your folds. As he sinks himself into you at last one of his hands grips the meat of your hips so hard you’re certain it’ll bruise. The other holds the metal linking your cuffs as he pulls you back onto him, impaling you on his cock at a distressingly slow pace. 

Ask for it. 

“Please sir- I need you- I need you to fill me up.” 

“Such a polite girl.” You can hear his grin as he slams forward. Your hips are flush now as he thrusts his throbbing member into your soaking heat. “Such a- sweet cunt.” He groans as you slump forward, the size of him knocks the wind out of you as he splits you open. His cock stretches you open wider than ever before as he immediately takes on a punishing pace. 

Your body is on fire, your nerves igniting as he pounds into you. The hand on your hip moves lower, circling your clit sending another jolt of fire through your veins as you barrel towards an unavoidable orgasm. 

You cry out as he angles his hips to hit that spot inside of you and all too quickly you tumble over that edge, strangling his cock within you as you spasm wildly. Your eyes flutter shut as you soak him. 

He doesn’t let up for a second. 

“Gonna give you enough attention to keep you content for a few days.” He spits out through grit teeth, already pushing you towards another climax your body isn’t at all ready for. 

“So fucking needy. Maybe I should make some toys for you to play with while I’m working.” He grumbles, you feel his thumb prodding at your other entrance as you gasp. “Could make you something real pretty to put in here.” You nod furiously as he laughs, rocking his hips forward again. It’s a good thing you’re being held up by the anvil because your legs go limp underneath you as you come again. He pinches your clit, nowhere near hard enough to hurt but enough to make you sob as your eyes go wet from the overstimulation of everything that’s happening. “Think you can give me one more?” The dominating condescending tone is gone as he leans down, his helmet knocking against your spine as if he’s kissing you there. 

“I- I don’t know.” You manage to whisper out as he slows his brutal pace, an act of mercy to your puffy, sensitive cunt. 

“Do you wanna try?” His voice is sweet now as he stills inside of you. Keyword there is try. Your skin tingles in a way that is nearly painful as you nod. 

“Yes sir.” You turn your head to the side, resting the hot skin on the cold steel.

“That’s my girl.” He murmurs, starting a new pace, a gentler one as he pushes the blunt head of his cock against your cervix, pulling a drawn out whine from your chest. “That’s it, just a little more, such a good girl, so good for me.” He begins to ramble as his thrusts grow a little erratic and sloppy, his fingers tensing against your hips as he stumbles forward, his entire body flush with yours as he empties himself into you. You can feel the warmth leaking between the two of you as you’re hit with an entirely new sensation that makes you come one last time. Your vision goes entirely white now as tears wash down your face. He steadies you, holding you through it and whispering more praises that don’t entirely register before he carefully pulls out of you. Your eyes remain shut as he carefully takes your wrists, after a moment they’re back at your side as he puts you back together. Pulling up your panties and tights, keeping his cum inside of you in the process as he lays you on your back, eventually sitting you up. “Are you okay?” 

You grin. 

“Yes, sir.” He chuckles, leaning forward just enough to tap his helmet against yours for a moment. You look down at your wrists where the metal bands remain. 

“I made them for you, they aren’t always shackles, they're pretty when they aren’t stuck together.” You bring them up to your face, getting a closer look at the intricate details. There’s a small mythosaur embossed on each one. A symbol, something that binds you to him. 

“I love it.” You smile up at him, looking around the still dirty shop. “I should probably catch up on my work…” You start to stand but he sits you back down. 

“Take the day off, worry about it tomorrow.” He walks past you, you turn to watch him throw more kindling into the forge. 

“What are you gonna do with the rest of your day?” You tilt your head, watching as he takes the hammer that was inside you only moments ago and spins it in his hand. 

“I believe I owe you a couple of toys.” He tosses a handful of steel into the hearth as you sit back a bit and watch him start to work. 

a/n : this was ridiculous but also i did take it very seriously. this genre was what i was unapologetically born to write.

if you liked this and aren't familiar with my work this is a one off from my mandalorian series Best Kept Secret, which you can find here!!

I don't have taglists but follow @lincolndjarinnotifs for updates on any and all fics!!

#lincolndjarin #fic : best kept secret #one shot #the mandalorian fanfiction #the mandalorian #the mandalorian x you #the mandalorian x reader #mandalorian smut #din djarin x you #din djarin smut #din djarin fanfiction #din djarin x reader #din djarin

[star-girl69]

OMG THE LITTLE FAMILY STUFF IS SO CUTE now imagine ivy like accidentally calling the reader amd clarisse mom for the first time OR OR someone (percy) like coming over and being like "hey I don't think this parenthood is a good idea here" (bc just imagine clarisse junior in the future) and ivy is wtf so she starts defending them and being like THOSE ARE MY PARENTS (10 yo vs 12 yo standoff go!!)

LETS GO I LOVE THIS I LOVE THIS FAMILY I LOVE EVERYTHING

the first time ivy calls you mom it’s not on purpose

you just basically are her mom

all she knows is you treat her how a mom is supposed to treat their daughter

you’re probably like dropping her off at arts and crafts class and she casually goes

“ok bye mom see you later!”

cue the tears

you’re screaming and crying and hyperventilating and RUNNING straight to clarisse who is training and she’s like OH MY GOD WHAT HAPPENED ARE YOU OKAY

and you’re like

“i-i-i-ivy oh my god clar ivy-”

“SOMETHING HAPPENED TO IVY?!?!??!?” protective mom mode activated

“NO SHE CALLED ME MOM”

“oh. OH. SHE CALLED YOU MOM?????”

“I KNOW” 😭😭😭😭😭😭

clarisse is so happy she’s like aw omg she’s a little jealous on the inside but she’s fine she’s fine she’s fine

she’s not fine if you couldn’t tell

but clarisse doesn’t have to wait too long bc the next day clarisse wakes up at like 3am and has to go to the bathroom and little adorable baby ivy sits up too rubbing her eyes and is like

“mom? where are you going?”

she’s about to LOSE. HER. SHIT.

but it’s late and she doesn’t want to overwhelm ivy so she keeps it cool and just says she’s going to the bathroom she’ll be back soon

anyways later you both sit ivy down and ivy is like WOAH WOAH WOAH WHATS HAPPENING

and you’re trying to be professional and adult about it

but you’re like “YOU CALLED ME MOM!!!! YOU CALLED CLAR MOM!!!!!! AND ITS OK!!!!! WE LOVE YOU AND WE ARE YOUR MOMS BASICALLY!!!!!”

ivy is like “I DIDNT EVEN NOTICE BUT I LOVE YOU MOMS”

happy family ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

just to clarify y’all PERCY DOES NOT ACTUALLY THINK CLARISSE AND Y/N ARE BAD FOR IVY ITS JUST THERES TWO OF THEM CAN WE ATTACH A LEASH TO THE LITTLE ONE MAYBE

so let’s pretend it’s just another random rude ass 12 year old who’s name will be…. hm…… mark!

so mark and ivy are like chilling around at the training grounds waiting for their turn and then mark is like “oh my god you’re so bad you can even hold the sword correctly”

ivy is ????? she’s holding it the way clarisse taught her to hold it so what…….

“um? idk…. this is how you hold it dude…..”

and then you come over innocently and you’re like “hi ivy baby you forgot your water i’m gonna leave it right here!” and she’s like “ok mom!” bc you’re her mom and she loves you

so then mark is like “NO WAYYYYY YOU CALL HER MOM????”

“YES BC SHE IS MY MOM DO YOU HAVE A DAMN PROBLEM!?!?!?”

“i just feel sorry for you like your own parents didn’t want you so the best you could get was two random teen girls??? LMAOOOO i bet they’re horrible ‘parents’ too ”

“BITCH IM GONNA-”

ivy may be tiny but she uses that to her advantage and jumps on top of people

so she starts scratching and kicking and hitting screaming “TAKE IT BACK TAKE IT BACK TAKE IT BACK”

bro mark is crying

one of mark’s friends drag ivy off of him and then you and clarisse run over at the commotion

and all you see is this kid crying, another kid holding ivy back- her hairs all messy and she’s kicking and screaming still

the kid very quickly drops ivy when he sees you

you have to THROW yourself in front of her so she won’t attack him again

clarisse just presses the tip of her spear into mark’s armor and he’s like “IM SORRY IM SORRY WAHHHHH WAHHHHHHHH”

ivy is laughing hysterically “THATS WHAT I THOUGHT THATS WHAT I FREAKING THOUGHT YOU LOSER!!!!!!!”

you’re in such shock WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR PRECIOUS BABY

clarisse is proud but confused

ivy is hugging you, her face pressed in your stomach when clarisse crouches down next to her

“you wanna tell me what happened?”

“well first he said i was holding my sword wrong but I WASNT i was holding it like this the way you taught me and then mom came over and then he started laughing when i called her mom and then he said you guys were probably horrible parents and i was SO MAD so i started attacking him”

ivy rn: 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗

you’re horrified shocked and angry like it’s not an idea situation but ivy is loved and safe what more do they want from you?

you feel kinda shitty bc you love ivy so much but if you’re not what’s best for her than you’ll do anything

clarisse hugs her and kisses her head “good job protecting this family little warrior”

and you’re like “yes ivy you did an amazing job but remember violence is not always the answer”

(clarisse and ivy share their secret look again)

but later that night while ivy is getting ready for bed you’re telling clarisse that you’re concerned, maybe everyone who throws you the dirty looks are right, maybe you’re not what’s best for ivy

clarisse is ???

“ivy…. baby….. uh…. equals…. mine??? ….confused..”

but ivy overhears you and then SHE starts yelling at YOU

“EVERYONE IS SO SAD AND MAD AND I HATE IT LETS JUST BE HAPPY AND YOU GUYS STOP BEING MEAN”

ok 🫡

eventually clarisse expresses it more articulately to you than ivy can, “who cares about what anyone else thinks? i’m happy, your happy and ivy’s happy. everyone else can get punched in the face!”

IVY IS EXCITED

anyways happy family again ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

—-

taglist:

@lvrue @t-wylia @laughingcheese037 @kroumi @urdeadpoet @colezb @rey26 @harmzilla @elliewilliamsbae @amberfreemansburntface @kyuupidwrites @neverwaakeme-up @shark1008 @liballer @heyimadison @nvirskies @pnsteblnme @mar2ss @restellsss @ravisinghs-wife @marsconer @evangelinexo @randomhoex @luvrrish

#clarisse la rue #clarisse la rue x reader #clarisse la rue x y/n #clarisse la rue x you #pjo tv show #pjo x reader #clarisse and ivy and y/n: the perfect family

[stellamancer]

hehehehehehheheheehehehehehehehehhehehehe

💘 ,':^)

THANK YOU MODAAAA. u always got my back. even if while writing this i had a mental crisis and forgot how to write gojo LMAOOOO

fake relationship / mutual pining / dared to kiss

Gojo points at the humongous parfait pictured on the backside of the menu and grins widely at the waitress. “We’d like to order one of these, please!” 

She hesitates, her eyes shifting between you and Gojo and you can’t help but get the feeling something is amiss. Are they maybe sold out for the day? That’d suck, but if that’s the case, then it can’t be helped since Gojo did say that it’s the restaurant’s most popular item. Slowly, the waitress speaks, “That item is a special couples only item, so when guests order it, we ask them to…”

She trails off, but you get what she’s saying: she wants proof that you and Gojo are dating.

Which is impossible since you and Gojo aren’t dating, not even close. You could barely even be considered friends. 

You look at him, and you half expect him to bat those perfect eyelashes at the waitress, asking her to make an exception this one time, but instead he is staring at you.

Batting his eyelashes at you.

What the hell are you supposed to do?

Kiss him or something? 

“Don’t be shy,” Gojo tells you playfully, looking like he’s having the time of his life.

“I—” you start, but then stop, unsure of what to do. Do you play the part he wants you to play: a partner feeling shy about public displays of affection? Or do you chew him out for not telling you the conditions of getting the parfait that you both came here for? 

Surely he knew, there was no way he couldn’t have since he’s the one who suggested coming here.. If anyone should be performing any sort of PDA it should be Gojo, not you.

You’re fine with settling with a different, marginally smaller parfait. 

Sensing your answer, Gojo sighs dramatically. “You can barely keep your hands off me at home, so I would’ve thought one little kiss in public wouldn’t be that bad.” 

He’s such a liar; you’ve never even been to his place. 

“Oh well.” His tone changes, becoming suddenly nonchalant. “So, instead of that parfait, can I get thirty of your chocolate strawberry parfait?”

The waitress blanches and you think you might see her soul trying to leave her body. You don’t blame her, you’re feeling pretty faint yourself. Thirty parfaits? Is Gojo serious?

You look at him again and he turns to you, and you don’t think you’ve ever seen a serene smile look so ominous. It’s not so much that he’s being serious about this, but more than he’s betting on you to do what he wants.

Damn him for essentially holding this girl hostage for just trying to do her job and damn you too for not being able to stick to your guns. 

It’s fine, it’s whatever, it’s just a kiss. 

You slam your hand down on the table and half standing as you lean forward to kiss Gojo. Your mouth collides with his and he goes completely still. Is he surprised? He wasn’t seriously goading you into just giving him a simple kiss on the cheek, was he? 

The kiss lasts only a second before you whip your head from Gojo’s to look at the waitress who’s gawking at the both of you. “We’ll get just the one couples parfait, okay?”

She gulps and nods before rushing off to put the order in. 

You sit back down and Gojo laughs, “I knew you loved me, after all!”

That comment earns him a scowl. “No, you knew that I wouldn’t let you make that poor girl put an order for thirty parfaits in.”

He merely smiles and that all but confirms it.

“You could have just told me, you know, before we got here,” you grumble. 

“Yeah maybe, but where would be the fun in that?” 

#namoda vibes #ask games #nikuniku fics #gojo x reader #gojo x you #i'm literally like how do i write gojo again??? #i'm not used to this dynamic LMAO #i should have gone with the other idea #i should have not let them KISS #i wouldn't even call that a kiss

[heartsforhavik]

hey!! could you write a havik x earthrealm reader celebrating Valentine’s Day at the reader’s request?

heart to heart (havik x gn! reader)

warnings: gore i guess? and both of you being weirdos but its ok ur weirdos in love. there’s also a rickroll at the end.

summary: kinda funny story of havik celebrating valentine’s day with gender neutral reader!! (cuz i can’t imagine him celebrating valentines in a normal way LMAO he’s chaotic ok.)

a/n: anon… did u read my mind.. cuz i was gonna write a valentine’s themed story with havik but i decided not to bc it wasn’t valentine’s yet.. but i have an excuse now 😈 also i went off the rails with this I’M *REALLY* SORRY ANON!!

“what is this.. valentine’s day you speak of?” havik asked. you had brought up the idea of valentine’s day with him, since the day was coming up and you wanted to see if your lover was interested in celebrating with you.

“well, it’s a holiday in earthrealm. not everyone celebrates it, but usually we use it as a day to appreciate our significant others. we gift them candies or some other goods.” you explained.

“…what else?” he asked, genuinely interested in your home’s customs.

“hmm… we put up decorations i suppose. a lot of red, white, and pink everywhere. and hearts. usually people gift their partners something heart shaped.” you added.

a comical lightbulb appeared above havik’s head as soon as he heard you say that.

-

the next day, which was valentine’s day, you awoke to a box in front of yours and havik’s bed. it literally smelled like shit. did someone send you shit in a box???

“good day, my beloved.” havik greeted, sitting up in bed and looking as if he woke up before you.

“good morning, havik. did you send me this?” you asked. he nodded, gesturing you to open it.

when you opened it, it was as if havik gave you his heart.

literally. his heart was in the box.

you looked over to him and he had a giddy expression on his face as if he did the funniest thing possible.

“what? i heard you earthrealmers gave each other your hearts!”

“NOT LITERALLY.”

(real life image of havik giving you his heart drawn by me :333)

(ok ok now i’ll take it seriously LMAOOOO)

“good day, my beloved.” havik greeted. he was standing over the bed you both shared, looking strangely excited.

“good morning.. you look excited.” you pointed out, getting up out of bed.

“you should look outside.” havik grinned mischievously.

you gave him a confused look before you stepped outside to see a few bloody clothes on the ground.

“whose clothes are these?” you asked.

“these are the clothes of every person you ever wanted dead. surprise.” havik cackled. damn, he really killed them for you, he’s a keeper.

“i see..” you knew it was wrong. but damn, you wanted them dead so bad. and he did it for you, as a valentine’s day gift. you knew he wouldn’t give you a traditional gift since he’s a chaotic guy, but you definitely didn’t expect this. in your own twisted way, you were deeply grateful for what he did.

“thank you so much, love. i appreciate it.” you told him.

“that’s not all… i also made sure you don’t have any duties for today. you may choose how you want to spend your.. valentine’s day.” havik said, proudly. he was giving you the freedom to choose how you wanted to spend your day.

you chose to spend your day with him. you didn’t really care how you spent it, you were just glad to be around him. he felt the same towards you. havik refused to follow society’s traditional rules of valentine’s day. he wanted to be a little chaotic and mix things up a bit, but he understood that you just wanted to appreciate each other that day.

you wouldn’t change it for the world. he’s a bit strange and refuses to do anything traditionally, but at least he is being himself and still loves you. he loves and appreciates you a *lot* but he just shows his affection for you in a.. unique way. you are the light in his life and he would never give you up or let you down. just let him be a little weird with how he expresses his feelings, and you’re good.

(even tho he refuses to admit it, he does sleep that night in peace with you and clings onto your sleeping form like a sloth to a tree. he’s just so relaxed because he had a good day with you! a weird day. but when do you *not* have a weird day with havik? maybe you two will do this “valentine’s” thing again next year.)

#havik x reader #havik #mk havik #mortal kombat 1 x reader #mk x reader #i guess this is a crack fic? #im sorry its not very romantic #hes just SILLY he cant take anything seriously #love him sm #hes so weird i love him

[shaunamilfman]

Milfman,

Having a thought about the one of the girls, it could be either Lottie, Shauna, or Jackie, in this.

But imagine your parents being friends and forcing the two of you to hang out ever since you guys were kids, expecting you both to become best friends and resenting THE FUCK out of each other. Whether it’s because of the forced proximity, differing personalities or whatever, you guys just hate each other. You guys end up not seeing each other for a few years before your parents force you guys together once again for like a weekend or a ski trip or something, and Lottie/Jackie/Shauna FALLS IMMEDIATELY. You ended up working out or glowing up in one way or another and they don’t know how to act. They spend the entire time trying to get you to like them, get you alone or just overall flirt with you.

What’re we thinking/feeling about this

i feel like this is definitely a jackie prompt. some girlfailure shit her ass would do. i feel like jackie had a lot of stuff forced on her as a kid and you were probably one of the easiest ways she had to rebel against that. yall being like super bitchy and underhanded all the time. like your getting in actual physical fights (nothing major because jackies a little wuss when it comes to pain) and always trying to get the other in trouble. like yall were giving tattletale for sure.

anyways im thinking your dad probably moved you away for a job or something so yall stopped seeing each other for like 6 years or some shit. just long enough for your glow uppppp. you've been excited for this trip and already have your bitchy response prepared and jackie takes one look at you and trips over her own feet. jackie's fully prepared to be an uber bitch but god damn have you gotten hot lmaoooo.

jackie tries flirting with you at first but your still kind of mocking her about it since you think shes like making fun of you somehow (you think jackies playing chess but she can't even play checkers). jackie realizes she kind of likes the mocking and is a little embarrassed about it but decides to go full brat in response.

like shes grabbing for the last cookie like "oops were you going to eat that? 🤭". she purposely eats it slowly in front of you while your staring in anger. she's changing the radio station just as you get into the song, knocking your chair out from under you just as your about to sit down, etc. she's really committed to being bratie taylor. all the while she's giggling and giving you flirty looks while you get angrier and angrier.

you finally get mad enough to get physical with her like you did when you were kids and just press her up against the wall as she tries to grab for your drink or something. jackie looks a mixture of smug and turned on as shes pinned in place, her eyes keep purposefully drifting to your lips. if she wants it so bad you guess she can have it, right? and if she's too tired and satisfied in the morning to bug you that's just another benefit.

#soffsh #jackie thoughts 🩷 #yellowjackets x you #yellowjackets x reader #jackie taylor x reader

[134340am]

hmmm for the made up fic title game how about ‘double trouble, triple threat & a whole lot of love’ 👅

the first thing i thought of was the inarizaki three lmaoooo i m so down bad for them

nsfw — minors do not interact. f!reader x miya twins x sunarin

“look, she’s dripping. try it.” 

your hands fly to your face in embarrassment, tugging up the collar of your boyfriend’s jersey and pulling it up over your burning cheeks. you couldn’t care less about stretching the fabric out—not when there were not one, not two, but three men between your legs stretching you out.

or, at least, they’re about to.

osamu swipes a finger through your folds before popping said finger into his mouth—his hands are notably rougher than atsumu’s. meanwhile, the setter takes his time, circling your leaking hole lazily and only stopping when rintaro casts him an impatient look.

“‘s salty,” osamu speaks first. “‘nd a little sweet.”

“yeah, ‘s good.” atsumu pipes up, reaching out again for a second taste—only to whine in pain when rintaro swats his wandering hands away.

“wait, we won’t get shit done if you keep being greedy,” your boyfriend hisses at the blond, turning his attention back to you. “see this button?” rintaro flicks your clit with just the tip of his finger and you cry, back leaving the bed.

“it makes her back arch?” atsumu suggests.

“yeah, and it drives her absolutely crazy.” the sentence was punctuated with a quiet chuckle, one that can only belong to rintaro and no one else. it spells trouble. you peek down between your legs—still not used to the sight of there being people other than your lover in bed with you—but your eyes flutter close almost immediately as rintaro proceeds to rub your clit relentlessly. 

“fucking— slow down a little, rin!” you choke out, legs trembling in pleasure and clamping shut around his hand. 

“no can do, babe, we don’t have all day. ‘samu’s on evening shift, and ‘tsumu has practice later, right?” came your boyfriend’s voice, light and teasing.

“yeah, gotta go in an hour.”

“hurry up, sunarin.”

both twins, lying on their tummies and sandwiching your boyfriend in between, grab a knee each and pull your legs open once more. 

“yeah, yeah, okay. you heard the boys, sweetheart.” rintaro shifts closer to you, tossing you a mischievous grin as he cranes his neck to press a gentle kiss to your clit. though his demeanour was as playful as ever, you see the concern flashing in his yellow-gold eyes from between your legs. you nod at him, almost shyly, and the worry in his eyes fades into a lustful sheen.

“anyways, that’s the button on the outside,” he mutters. the twins nod. “the button on the inside, however...” 

rintaro pushes two rough fingers into your weeping hole, crooking them up at the sweet, spongy spot up front. your reaction was immediate—you arch off the bed again, hips bucking into his fingers and a desperate cry leaving your lips.

the sight of you sweaty and panting pleases your lover, for he rewards you with a gentle massage to the very same spot that elicited your reaction in the first place.

“there we go,” he chuckles amusedly. “that’s our pretty girl.”

send me a made-up fic title and i'll tell you what i would write to go with it!

#THIS IS NAUGHTY LOOK AWAYYYYYYY #sorry nana i..... i really indulged with this one #atsumu x reader #osamu x reader #suna x reader #suna smut #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu smut #going to hide now BYE #yuna writes #yuna after dark #ask yuna #beloved nana

[heavyhitterheaux]

Put it On The Floor

First Lady of Private Garden Instagram AU

Liked by jackharlow, cardib, urbanwyatt, claybornharlow, taylorrooks, angelreese, brandisimmons, normani, theestallion, and 6,912,005 others

y/ninsta: Rip me out the plastic, I been actin brand new 🤭

Put it On The Floor AGAIN, BITCH!

Big Latto and Big Bardi!

MIDNIGHT!

claybornharlow: produced by little baby 😊

y/ninsta: claybornharlow you always come thru for me!

claybornharlow: y/ninsta unlike my sibling

jackharlow: PAUSE claybornharlow what the hell is wrong with your ass?

2forwoyne: WHAT'S HAPPENIN?!?

claybornharlow: jackharlow little baby always wins. woulda thought you learned that by now

jackharlow: claybornharlow not when it comes to this ass whooping you about to get

normani: PRETTY BITCHES ONLY!!!

y/ninsta: jackharlow claybornharlow you two need to go to family counseling, my goodness lmao allthingsy/n: AHHH WE READY QUEEN!

jackharlowsource: might have to change my name to y/nsource lmao the queen has been killing it lately!

theestallion: y/ninsta they'll never learn lol

angelreese: thank you so much for having me!

y/ninsta: angelreese of course bby!

jessicakelce: TRIPLETS WHERE?!?! YALL ABOUT TO EAT THIS SHIT ALL THE WAY UP!

blancahood: somebody go and check on grandma lmao

y/ninsta: blancahood lmao she might need to be hospitalized after this

saweetie: y/ninsta blancahood lmaoooo aye yo

saweetie: I got the prettiest best friend everrrrr

urbanwyatt: oh y/ninsta jackharlow finally let you out the house?

y/ninsta: urbanwyatt no I snuck out and left the triplets with him. jessica and blanca were outside with the car running lmao

jackharlow: had me fighting for my damn life. I'm calling for her ass and next thing I know, I hear tires scraping and they asses flying down the street full of bad decisions and hot chips. just like in high school smh

saweetie: NOT FULL OF HOT CHIPS AND BAD DECISIONS

urbanwyatt: jackharlow not our fault we can handle spicy food and you can't and y/ninsta not you ditching the husband lmaoooo

y/ninsta: jackharlow baby please stop being dramatic. I was gone for less than an hour and they just went to wing stop with me 🙄 urbanwyatt I was coming back!

jackharlow: y/ninsta coulda fooled me the way yall asses was flying down the street! about to make me a single parent and shit

quiiso: jackharlow we woulda helped you with them!

shloob_: quiiso speak for yourself. I'll take the first two, but yall can have Autumn

2forwoyne: shloob_ don't tell me you scared of Autumn just like you scared of her momma lmao

shloob_: 2forwoyne SHE IS LITERALLY A MINI VERSION OF HER THAT LOOKS LIKE JACK. I CANNOT HANDLE IT.

jackharlow: I know our youngest is a little terror but damn lmao

claybornharlow: jackharlow that's funny because when she's with me she is always on her best behavior

y/ninsta: claybornharlow because she adores you lol

claybornharlow: jackharlow you hear that big brother? how your child love me more than you? just like your wife

jackharlow: claybornharlow all I hear is you screaming for mercy as I kick your ass

y/ninsta: CUT IT OUT, YOU TWO! LMAO

y/ninsta added to their story

Liked by jackharlow, shloob_, maggieharlow, dualipa, saweetie, champagnepapi, urbanwyatt, neelamthadhani, and 4,819,263 others

y/ninsta: told them bitches meet me at the top, think they got lost

blancahood: grandma definitely got lost. think we need to buy her walker to catch up?

jessicakelce: blancahood nah, she need one of them motorized wheelchairs lmao

y/ninsta: the both of yall get on my damn nerves lmao

jackharlow: my baby girl 😍

jackharlow: y/ninsta lemme suck on you like you sucking on them wings 😉

urbanwyatt: jackharlow NO, WE ARE NOT HAVING A REPEAT OF WHAT HAPPENED ON THE PLANE TO AUSTRALIA

wingstop: you're in her DM's, we're in her lap

jackharlow: wingstop I'll do you one better, I'm in her mouth 🥰

y/ninsta: JACKMAN THOMAS! PLEASEEEEE

saweetie: jackharlow I CANNOT WITH YOUR ASS

taylorrooks: and this is why yall asses got three kids now smh

y/ninsta: taylorrooks can't help it sis, my man fine lmao

yungskylark: we need to place bets again yall. how long you think before she's pregnant again?

normani: yungskylark 24 hours

claybornharlow: yungskylark 2 weeks and 5 days

druski2funny: yungskylark spoiler alert, she's already pregnant

2forwoyne: yungskylark a year at most and druski2funny y/ninsta is about to kill you for that lmao

y/ninsta: NOT YALL PLACING BETS!

jackharlow: oh lemme join!

jackharlow: at the absolute most there will be a six year difference in between our triplets and the next baby, at the absolute least three years because someone decided to get on birth control

y/ninsta: jackharlow you have super sperm, I couldn't risk it lmao

saweetie: y/ninsta oh swallowing wasn't working out as your birth control anymore?

y/ninsta: saweetie it wasn't! I needed to take more serious measures and druski2funny shut your ass up because I AM NOT PREGNANT AGAIN

druski2funny: y/ninsta YET

y/ninsta: normani imma kick your ass too smh

normani: y/ninsta not my fault I can see the future

dualipa: jackharlow taking you to court for child support once she leaves you for me

claybornharlow: dualipa GET IN THE BACK OF THE FUCKING LINE!

jessicakelce: LMAOOOO HERE THEY ASSES GO!

jackharlow: both of yall can fuck all the way off. only one I might drop off on your porch and speed down the street is Autumn.

y/ninsta: jackharlow yall gonna stop talking about my baby

jackharlow: y/ninsta did she not just stick her lollipop in my hair earlier and laugh and you had to cut it out or was I imagining things?

y/ninsta: jackharlow she went to Harlow baby jail and served her sentence!

jackharlow: y/ninsta and now she's back on the streets terrorizing folks smh

Liked by jackharlow, saweetie, urbanwyatt, taylorrooks, neelamthadhani, nemoachida, yungskylark, claybornharlow, and 4,253,071 others

jackharlow: I swear I'm set for life, she let me get her preg 😏😏

y/ninsta: 🤭🤭🤭

yungskylark: actually surprised it took this long

urbanwyatt: keep in mind the pregnancy scare at 16 lmaoo

y/ninsta: urbanwyatt you are never about to let that go, are you? lmao

urbanwyatt: y/ninsta NOPE

dualipa: jackharlow duh, we needed a sperm donor. thanks Jack, Jack!

saweetie: jackharlow fights for his life every single day on this app lmao

jackharlow: dualipa I better not see you on my door step this weekend

dualipa: jackharlow too late, flight's already booked

jackharlow: dualipa well unbook it, unless you want to meet my flame thrower face to face

y/ninsta: jackharlow baby quit it! allthingsy/n: jackharlow what's your favorite line in the song? jackharlow: allthingsy/n the end lmao allthingsy/n: jackharlow WHY YOU SHADING YOUR WIFE jackharlow: I meant what she says at the end lol y/ninsta: jackharlow you nasty as hell smh jackharlow: y/ninsta you the one who said it not me jackharlowsource: wait what she say? urbandjack25: jackharlowsource it's giving cunt, she playing with her pussy in the booth lmao jackharlow: y/ninsta surprised you didn't call me to take care of that for you y/ninsta: jackharlow come take care of it now!

jackharlow: y/ninsta SHE STARTED IT!

y/ninsta: jackharlow but on a serious note, I love your smile and you look so happy in this pic 🥰

jackharlow: y/ninsta because you rode me less than an hour ago

y/ninsta: jackharlow never mind. I take it back.

jackharlow: y/ninsta just playing, baby! you know you and our little ones can always put a smile on my face.

urbanwyatt: jackharlow Autumn will be the one to give you more gray hair, not a smile on your face

jackharlow: urbanwyatt she's already started smh

jackharlowsource: our parents are really growing up in front of our eyes 😥

Liked by jackharlow, urbanwyatt, saweetie, taylorrooks, cardib, dualipa, claybornharlow, estgee, lilnasx, druski2funny, and 5,193,072 others

y/ninsta: Ivy, Axel, and Autumn’s momma 😘🥰

saweetie: THE BADDEST TO EVER DO IT!

jackharlow: RIP ME OUT THE PLASTIC!

urbanwyatt: I BEEN ACTIN BRAND NEW

yungskylark: BITCHES ACTIN LIKE THEY RUNNIN SHIT

2forwoyne: THEY REALLY RAN THROUGH

jackharlow: prettiest baby momma that I ever did see 😍

lilnasx: still can't believe you and jackharlow are in charge of three little people lmao

privategarden: lilnasx we can't either lmao

jackharlow: privategarden WHAT?!

privategarden: jackharlow 👀👀👀

y/ninsta: jackharlow aww why thank you 🥰

y/ninsta: lilnasx it's weird lol like they are mini versions of us. LITERALLY.

urbanwyatt: y/ninsta 2fo ate my lunch you made me

y/ninsta: urbanwyatt AGAIN?! 2forwoyne get in here NEOW!

2forwoyne: y/ninsta what the? why do I get blamed for everything?!

yungskylark: 2forwoyne because it's usually you! smh

y/ninsta: okay PG, Sunday dinner at our house. Do not wear any loose jewelry either and 2forwoyne take urby to get some ramen to make up for it

neelamthadhani: y/ninsta what the?

jackharlow: neelamthadhani Autumn's new phase is stealing jewelry and hiding it. my pg ring was lost for a week. it was in her toy chest.

druski2funny: jackharlow yall kids would be bad as shit lmao

jackharlow: y/ninsta's mom told me exactly why too. y/ninsta was HORRIBLE as a toddler 😭😭😭😭

y/ninsta: jackharlow AHT AHT! was not!

jackharlow: y/ninsta mom said otherwise lol biting kids and running smh

y/ninsta: jackharlow she wouldn't leave me alone so I bit her

jessicakelce: NOT BABY Y/N BITING PEOPLE 😭

jackharlow: y/ninsta and that's where your anger issues started lmao

y/ninsta: jackharlow no ragrets, that hoe had it coming

jackharlow: y/ninsta you were literally 3!

y/ninsta: jackharlow I bite you all the time and you don't complain

saweetie: OH

jackharlow: y/ninsta I plead the fifth

y/ninsta added to their story

Taglist:

@harlowsbby

@babyharleezy

@hoodharlow

@stefansalvatoresgf

@jackiehollanderr

@primadxna-girl

@dessmxsworld

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@chtkmyharlow​

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@awhore4moree

@a-moment-captured

@jackmans-poison

#jack harlow #jack harlow fic #jack harlow fanfic #jack harlow x reader #jack harlow x black reader #jack harlow fluff #jack harlow imagine #jack harlow fanfiction #instagram au #jack harlow instagram au #first lady of pg

[m0thergoose]

SPOILERS FOR TOWL EPISODE FOUR PROCEED WTIH CAUTION FOR MY RUNNING COMMENTARY

OOO Michonne looks pissed I can’t wait

‘I can’t believe you did that’ ‘I can’t believe you said that’ - calling him out straight away good girl

OMG THE SCAR HE’S GONNA LOSE HIS MIND

Michonne/Danai is so beautiful

The way they’re looking at each other I’m going to die

Oh Michonne talk about Judith with him yeeeees

Calling him a creative writer, Michonne I’m gonna die

FOR YOUR CHILDREN OH MY GOD

SHE AINT LETTING HIM REST

HIS NAME IS RICK OH MY GOOOOOD

HES ALMOST 8 omg her heart is breaking because she hasn’t seen him in so long and he’s so big now, and Rick has missed so much

OHHHH MICHONNE ‘I don’t like who you are with them’ - me neither girl

‘They won a long time ago’ - oh Rick he is so broken

‘Do you think we can do anything? Because I do’ 🫶

What did they do to you? - oh Michonne man he’s so broken

‘Do you still love me’ awwww her broken wee voice I’m going to die

Omg they can go!!

Omg he said no

What the actual fuck

He is a broken man and Michonne is going to tear into him for this

He calls you the brave man 🥹

I could listen to Michonne talk about their kids all damn day

‘I found you but I didn’t’ 😢😢😢

Michonne call him out hahahahha, Rick is spewing some absolute bullshit

‘You’re lying’ Yaaas Michonne

GOD I love angry Michonne this is 10/10

And now are they gonna cry I can’t handle it

Aww my baby Michonne 😢😢😢

She’s just hoping he’ll open that door

Please open it

I’m losing my mind

Yaaaas go Rick go

Michonne gonna unleash on these walkers

YAAAAS RICK

fight them wooooo

‘I DONT EVEN HAVE A WEAPON COMMANDO’ - SASSY MICHONNE IM DEAD

‘The only time I feel safe is when I’m with you’🥹🥹🥹

‘I’m not the brave man’ - oh Rick

YEAH HIT HIM MICHONNE

‘I don’t know who you are because the man I knew would never talk to me like that’ - my heart is BROKEN

How are we fixing this jeeeesus

God I love seeing them fighting together

‘I had this’ - ‘I had this’ GOD THEY ARE BOTH SO SASSY

oh noooooo Michonne is trapped

Omg rick fucking help her

Omg is he gonna kiss her

Or is he gonna cry

OMG it’s happening guys jesuuuuus this is all the richonners have ever wanted

He’s losing his mind

THE WAY THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER I CANT COPE

THIS EPISODE IS DESTROYING ME

‘he looks like me’ - ‘so he’s really good looking’ 😂😂

ROUND TWO!!???!! Disturbed by roomba - love that ricky dicky doo da country boi has no idea what a roomba is lmao

‘One bad harvest - something has to burn to bring it back’ - OMG HE’S TALKING ABOUT HIS DAD??

‘You’re still lying to me. You’re lying to yourself’ - damn right keep calling him out Michonne

OMG THE SCAR

SHES GOING TO TELL HIM WOW

DARYL MENTION

‘SHE STOLE JUDITH’ - his faaaace!!

‘I don’t wanna go into how’ 😢😢😢😢

‘But I kept believing’ 🥹🥹🥹

Omg his hand 😢😢😢

‘You’re still trying, I see it’ he is trying Michonne just keep pushing and he’ll make it

‘I’m sorry for what they did to you’ 😢😢😢😢

Michonne laying down the law - ‘Sit, Rick’ 😂😂

She really couldn’t give a fuck if the building collapses around them she is going to make him talk to her

‘They took a year from me’ ‘I don’t know if she’s okay’ 😢😢😢😢

‘It’s hurting me Rick’ 😢 Rick NEVER wants to hurt her he loves her so much this is heartbreaking

OH MY GOD CARL IM BAWLING

‘I CANT LIVE WITHOUT YOU’

OH MY GOD IM GONNA DIE HE CANT FACE LOSING HER ALL OVER AGAIN

THE CARL PHONE 😢😢😢😢😢😢

‘I found you Rick’ 🫶

I love them so much Michonne honestly is the strongest woman alive

Aww he’s in a jumper not his uniform 💖💖💖💖

THE ELEVATOR KISS

GO GO GO

THEM SWITCHING SEATS LMAOOOO

‘WE CAN MAKE THIS WHOLE DAMN WORLD OURS IF WE WANT TO’ 💖💖💖💖💖

God this is beautiful

A happy ending no cliffhanger???? Oooooo

OMG ARE WE GETTING PROPOSAL WEDDING NEXT WEEK

#twd #michonne #richonne #rick grimes #the walking dead #danai gurira #andrew lincoln #towl #the ones who live #rick and michonne #twd: the ones who live #episode 4 #towl episode 4 #what we #Danai gurira is a fucking GENIUS #this ep is so powerful away to rewatch several times #towl spoilers #spoilers

[sheena-isa-punkrocker]

nacho varga x cartel!reader hcs

[pt 2 here]

he was a bit surprised when he first met you

you were a bit younger than the rest of his drug dealers and a fresh face. he honestly didn't think you were gonna last long

you proved him wrong. you proved that you were a person that had zero tolerance for bullshit, was incredibly intelligent, and actually brought in more money at check ins at michoacan than the other dealers

this piqued his interest in you 👀👀

he started giving you more jobs to do other than drug dealing like picking up money, setting up drop offs, spying on people that could be dangerous to the operation

you excelled at all these tasks and eventually gained his respect

nacho started trusting you ( as far as business goes ) and began letting you in on what moves the cartel was making

overtime he became quite fond of you 💜

he began looking foward to seeing you check in at michoacan, the only highlight of his day on those days

he started actually liking going on stake outs but only if you were tagging along

your blunt sarcastic humour made nacho smirk and chuckle, maybe offer a witty remark back

your intelligence also enticed him, nacho loved that he finally had someone he could have deep conversations with

the nail in the coffin for him was when you told him about your family, and how you were doing all of this for them even if they couldn't see it that way

talk about arrow to the heart!!! this man is so down bad for you 😩😩😩

can't help but sneak looks over at you whenever you're both at parties with other members

gets so flustered when he sees you in your party outfit ( he always thought you were pretty anyway but still 💜💜 )

flushes in the face when you compliment his button up shirts but tries to hide it ( fails miserably lol )

the other members pick up that he's crushing on you, especially lalo lmaoooo he ships you two~

they often tease nacho when he's gonna ask you out

"when are you finally gonna hit that, man?" "still making goo goo eyes at them eh nachito???" "dios mio just ask them out already!!"

nacho obv shushes them

he has to work up the courage to ask you out but can never find the right time

you're just so special to him that he wants everything to be right

it was a quiet starry night when he finally asked you

you both were on a stake out, supposed to be watching someone lalo deemed suspicious ( he didn't, he made that up for yall two to be together sdfcdjf )

you were both sitting on the edge of his dad's old truck bed, eating takeout that you had brought over

nacho looked over at you, seeing the stars in your eyes and how the moonlight hit you perfectly, how you laughed at a joke he made

he couldn't take his eyes off of you, he never wanted to be anywhere else but at your side

mentally he said 'fuck it' and asked you out then and there. to a PROPER date ( even thought it kinda seemed like yall were already on one lmaoo )

of course you said yes <3

#better call saul #better call saul x reader #nacho varga #ignacio varga #nacho varga x reader #ignacio varga x reader #nacho varga hcs #bcs #netflix

[faetaiity]

Writing this on my phone pls don’t shit on it

How I think the Turtles would be regarding dates

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So, they can’t go out on dates easily with you

Let’s say you’re in school and they can’t go out during the day

So for the most part, all of your dates happen on weekends so they can take you out and not have to worry about you needing to sleep earlier

The time where you have the most dates are during Summer break and Winter

Summer because you don’t go to school and can stay up later into the night with them (I headcanon them to sleep between 6am-2pm due to only being able to do anything at night lmao)

Winter because it gets darker quicker (Around 5pm) so they can chill with you easier even if you are in school during the week

Dates also vary with the seasons

During winter y’all will be in the lair or in your apartment due to them being reptiles (Cold-Blooded)

Summer is where y’all stay up into the ungodly hours and do random shit out in the streets (and also fighting bad mutants/Yokai)

Mikey once took you to Repo Mantis’s yard and spray painted EVERY. SINGLE. CAR

Mantis was fucking pissed to say the least

Donnie is the one who just spends most of the dates inside regardless of the temperature outside

During those dates with Donnie, y’all mostly play Multiplayer games like Smash, Mario Kart, MMORPG’s, etc

Raph and you like to knit or sew little teddy bears

Yes, he WILL teach you if you don’t know how to

Leo takes you to annoy Hueso (and to eat the bombass pizza)

It’s also not exactly unheard of for them to take you to the hidden city

It’s only happened once or twice though, and they mostly ended terribly

Leo got portal jacked while showing you around and that was an entire fiasco

Because police Yokai think Raph looks a lot like most of their criminals he would be the least likely to take you

Mikey takes you to see the various art murals down there, especially the ones about Lou Jitsu

Donnie just goes down there with you to brag about how much better his tech is compared to their ‘magic’ (which ends up SOMEHOW with big mama’s goons chasing y’all around the battle nexus, how you two even got there is a mystery to you)

If a Hidden city date occurs, they’re gonna be really finicky due to Humans being a lot weaker than Mutants or Yokai (Even if you aren’t human they’re still on edge)

Something interesting always happens on even the most boring sounding dates

Playing video games with Donnie? Surprise, Purple dragons hack into his shit and tries to kill you

Out with Raph? The mud dogs managed to get a cloaking brooch and are trying to get revenge over the impersonation Situation that happened

At a pizza joint with Leo? The foot clan comes in and causes bullshit until ALL of you get kicked out

Art with Mikey? It ends up with both of you running away from Donnie because he accidentally got splashed with paint (didn’t end well for you and Mikey LMAOOOO)

#rottmnt #rottmnt headcanons #rottmnt x reader #leo x reader #donnie x reader #raph x reader #mikey x reader

[mrhowells]

Smallville 4x14

I love this episode a lot🥹

THAT'S ADORABLE😭😭

"You're gonna be fine. I know you're gonna be fine. Everyone I've ever hit was alright."

Lois -everyone I've ever hit was alright- Lane:

Clark really sleeps on the couch now that Lois lives there? LMAOOOO

the way he immediately smiles when he sees the dog I can't🥹🥹

"You hit him? With your car?" "No, with my fist🙄🙄"

CLARK YOUR FACE-

"Actually, I think it might be fun to have a dog around."

HE'S A MENACE, HE'S A DISGRACE, HE'S A FUCKING CLOWN, I LOVE HIMMMMMMMM

I'm crying

"I don't know. It's just kind of hard to be myself with her around."

that's so ironic though because apart from hiding his powers he is VERY himself around her

I need Tom Welling to stop smiling on my screen please and thank you, I'm not strong enough for this😭

ugh😩

Chloe helping Clark with his excuses, love to see it🥹 He's so bad at them he needs all the help he can get💀

Let me introduce you to my parents who have been married for about 30 years now:

"Let's see. He's annoying, and I can't get within ten feet of him without getting sick. I think we should call him Clarkie."

have I mentioned how much I love them before?

"I spent all morning on these."

they're both so cute🥹🥹

LMAOOOOOO he finds her so annoying

hsajaksjaksj LOOK AT HIS HAND IN THE SECOND IMAGE, HE'S SO DONE I'M SCREAMING

No because if I keep going like this I'll screenshot every single time they say something or even look at each other💀

Lois: You could be Skipper😇

Clark: *fake ass smile* anyway-

STAHP I'M SCREAMING

he's about to throw hands💀

This is so confusing, I thought Jason's mom orchestrated the entire meeting with Lana but now she wants him away from her?

"Paranoia is not a very attractive quality in a woman."

Umm okay, AND? I mean I don't give a shit about Genevieve but this is such a dumb statement, as if she's supposed to give a fuck about what's "attractive" to Lex or others, like what?

Sometimes he sounds like one of those "pick up artists" that the internet makes fun of all the time, I'm sorry💀💀

I. LOVE. THIS.

That's the way someone talks to their own kid, not their guest and I love that because Lois clearly lacks parental love. Martha & Lois will always be so special to me😭😭

"Remember when Clark did that? He was only... three." LMAOOOO

Lex is clearly losing patience with Clark😬

Can I join this family pls look at themmmm

Martha is such a badass actually

I'm glad Lana overheard that whole conversation between Jason and his mother, now I'm just hoping they'll give her more agency instead of making her a passive character and her own storyline.

(edit: so she did NOT hear what they were talking about🤡🤡 At least she saw it)

Clark is such a little shit😭

Still arguing about dog names🤡

"Hold on there Forrest Gump, what are you gonna do, run?" LOL

She's like nuh uh, get in the car dude AND HE LISTENS💀💀💀

How are they acting like they're been married for decades???

NOT AN ACTUAL QUESTION BC I KNOW HOW AND I'LL TELL YOU: they're comfortable around each other even if they don't realize it

🎶and I will go down with this ship🎶 (EXCEPT I DON'T EVEN HAVE TO BECAUSE IT'S FUCKING SAILING, IT WILL NEVER GO DOWNNNNN)

let's move on

"What is this, another one of your famous hunches or are we just on a little scenic route?"

"Okay, stop here."

"Wha- where??"

"HERE. Stop here."

"OKAY."

>>>MARRIED.

they sound like my grandparents💀

LOOK AT MY LIL POOKIES INVESTIGATING STUFF TOGETHER🥺

YEEEEET

I need to know where Clark gets his clothes bc that stuff withstands literally anything💀

AKJASJKAKSL STAHP😭

"He (the dog) saved my life. I'll take my chances on his loyalty." Ooof, is he calling out Lex👀

what is Lionel trying to do?🧐

CUTE.

CUTE.

Clark is happy = I'm happy, it's really that simple

this episode is premium, top tier chef's kiss EXCELLENT

#ellie's smallville thoughts #smallville #4x14 #clark kent #lois lane #clois #martha kent

[alovesongshewrote]

Too Weird to Die | The Lost Boys x Reader HCs

Plot:  a monster hunter half adopts the Frog brothers and then avoids being murdered by vampires by being too weird to die. more at 8. [The Lost Boys x GN!Reader]

Word count:  2,873

Warnings:  murder, comedic violence, so much swearing that i'm putting it in the warnings

A/N: holy fuck i can't believe i wrote this lmaoooo. i might re-visit the concept, but for now, this is good

So all this shit starts a few years before the Emersons move to Santa Carla

You stop by the town on a visit because 

Y’know 

It’s a murder capital, who doesn’t stop at murder capitals for tourist reasons?

In all seriousness, you’re there because of all the suspicious murders

As a full time professional monster hunter, you know something is up, and you want to see if you can do anything about it

And you both can and can’t

At the time, you don’t find much evidence of actual monster activity 

Either because the titular lost boys are taking a break from murder for the month, or because they Know Something’s Up and they want to be Careful

BUT

YOU DO FIND SOMETHING

And that something is two dipshit (affectionate) amateur vampire hunters who are just raring to get themselves murdered horribly 

They followed you into an alley and threatened to stake you

It sounds bad, but keep in mind, they were like

Eleven

At the time

They were little

And they were so full of rage that you literally laughed at them for five minutes

AND YOU FELT BAD, BUT ALSO

IT WAS LIKE BEING HELD AT GUNPOINT BY PUPPIES 

You just couldn’t take them seriously 

However, the world you live in is a dangerous one, and those two dumbass kids were lucky that they threatened you, and not someone or something that wouldn’t have any objections to beating up literal children

So what you do is you take those little shits

And you train them up a little bit

Not enough to be actively dangerous

But enough so that they don’t get murdered

And that’s how you become the adopted older sibling to the Frog brothers

You didn’t have a choice in that, they hit you with the metaphorical adoption papers and you couldn’t do anything but go, “ok”

But you don’t mind too much

They’re you’re little bros

They’re so irritating, and if anything happened to them you’d kill everyone in santa carla and then yourself

Anyway

You leave santa carla for a bit, because, y’know, the murders stopped as soon as you got there

You’re away for a few months

And then bada bing bada boom, shit starts up again and you make your return

This time, you find the source of the problem, but you don’t realize they’re vampires for like, a solid minute

For the first few months, you genuinely think david and his gang are just

Annoying 

The first time you met them, david monologued for so long that you zoned out and started focusing on their jackets

You came to the conclusion that they all had dope jackets

And then you got bored and tried to leave

Which david wasn’t crazy about

So he told the boys to grab you and, well

Long story short, Marko got punched in the face

Rip marko

After that, the boys decided they were going to eat you

Because you don’t mess with them and get away with it!

So, they follow you around santa carla for A While

And at first it’s scary, because y’know

You’re being followed

But after some time you figure they aren’t actually going to do anything

So you’re more irritated than afraid

Aaaand they don’t try anything in all of that time because for one thing, they can never seem to find you when you’re on your own

And for another, every time they approach you as a group you let out a Very Loud Groan that informs everyone nearby of your location

So killing you would be too sus

Also, you don’t tell the frogs you’re being followed

Because they would probably try to murder your stalkers?

And like

You don’t need these fuckin kids going down on attempted murder charges, they’re too young for that shit

So

The cat and mouse game is just between you and the boys

And it’s at a stalemate 

For a While

Until they get the idea to approach you individually 

David is technically the first one to try it, though that’s more of an accident than anything else

The rest of the boys are off doing their own thing when David catches sight of you

He makes his approach 

All suave and cool 

Annnnnnd to make another long story short, he gets pushed into the ocean.

Oops.

Paul is the next one to try it

He heard about you pushing david into the ocean and he went :0

Like, that legitimately kind of sounds like a good time to him

Also, he kind of wants you dead!

But they all do, so

Anyway

He makes his approach

And you see him coming

And you just so happen to be drinking out of a glass bottle, so you chug the rest of your drink and shatter the bottom of the bottle in the minute it takes him to get to you

In retaliation, and also because breaking glass bottles is now a dick measuring contest

He picks up a bottle and tries to shatter it

It Does Not Go Well

Poor thing gets glass everywhere and like

You can’t help but laugh at him

AND AGAIN, YOU FEEL BAD

ESPECIALLY WHEN HE POUTS A LITTLE BIT, LIKE A KICKED PUPPY

AND YOU FEEL LIKE YOU KICKED A PUPPY

So you walk over and you go

“Ok, if you promise not to stab me, I’ll show you how to break a glass bottle properly.”

And like

He already knows how to break a glass bottle

He just fucked it up that time

But he lets you teach him anyway

And it’s totally to earn your trust so he can eat you

It absolutely doesn’t have anything to do with the way he really likes the sound of your laugh

Nope

Not at all

He gets back to the cave later, and he successfully spoke to you, but he didn’t successfully kill you, so everyone’s kinda pissed at him except for star and laddie

And david’s pissed that paul didn’t get thrown into the ocean, but oh well

The next boy to approach you is dwayne

And honestly, he doesn’t really approach you with intent

It just kind of happens

But when it does, he also doesn’t get thrown into the ocean

He encounters you in a bookstore on the boardwalk

And at first you don’t notice him

You’re too busy reading something that looks like a bodice ripper, but it has tentacles on the cover????

And even if he had thought of picking you up and carrying you off somewhere to kill you, he gets way too fucking distracted by that thing

Eventually you notice him standing there and you just

Throw the book

You yeet it off behind you and you go

“OH, HI, HELLO, HOW ARE YOU?  IT’S DWAYNE, RIGHT?  NICE JACKET, YOU AREN’T WEARING A SHIRT, OKAY, BYE.”

And then you go to fucking run out of the store

Because jesus christ, your one night without the frogs for you to partake in your Adult Life and one of the fucking BIKE BOYS shows up 

FUCK

Anyway, dwayne manages to grab you before you can leave

And he doesn’t get punched unlike poor marko

No, you’re too embarrassed for that

And it only gets worse for you when dwayne starts asking questions

You answer

Because you have no idea what else you can do

And this motherfucker seems to be getting a kick out of your discomfort 

He’s got this SMIRK on his face

Like he likes watching you squirm

Like he thinks it’s cute (he does)

You hate it

You like it

After what feels like an eternity of questioning, he does take pity on you

He buys you a drink and, instead of murdering you, he answers your questions

And you get close to figuring out that he’s a vampire 

But not quite :/

Oh well

Dwayne goes back to the cave, and everyone is like, “jfc, why is this little shit so unkillable?”

No one has answers, but dwayne does have a weird lump in his jacket pocket, and when he checks to see what it is, he sees the very tip of a tentacle before he SHOVES THAT THING BACK WHERE IT CAME FROM WITH 0 MERCY

He has no fucking clue how you got that book onto his person without him noticing

But he respects it

Anyway, they send marko after you next

Because you punched him, and he hates you

Don’t worry about it too much though, because his opinion changes in like

Ten minutes

He follows you into like

A thrift store 

And once you realize you’re being followed you go, “oh hey, it’s you, with the cool jacket, sorry i punched you that one time, but to be fair, you did grab me, so”

And then you hand him a little bag of cool buttons that you found on a shelf 

And you say, with a very sweet and genuine smile

“These match your jacket!”

And all he can think is,

“Oh, so that’s why you’re still alive, okay”

Needless to say, he returns home having not murdered you, and david is Unamused 

You wounded his pride and punched his friend, he Does Not Like you

And then one night you run into him outside of the video store

And he already looks grumpy 

But then he sees you, and it just gets worse

Ironically

He tells you to buzz off that time

Which you don’t fucking do, because this bitch and his friends stalked you for A Time

And even though you’ve made friends with most of your stalkers, you’re still not gonna let this one go

And that’s like

Literally what you tell him

It makes him roll his eyes and fantasize about pushing you into the ocean

But then you go quiet 

And for a few minutes, the two of you just

Stand outside of the video store, leaning against the wall together

In the middle of the noise and excitement of the boardwalk, the two of you are calm and quiet 

And then you go

“Hey, do you ever realize that you have free will, and if you wanted to, you could just throw eggs at your fridge?”

And he goes

“Why the fuck would anyone want to do that”

To which you respond

“To test out their free will.”

You bounce off the wall and hold a hand out to him

“Come on.”

He asks where you’re going and you just 

Look at him

With the most devilish smile that vampire has ever seen

And you go

“To get some eggs.”

And while you’re doing that, you learn that david is so grumpy because his father (he does air quotes when he says the word father) is being very very unreasonable and also possibly indulging in mild child endangerment 

And like

David isn’t a kid, but it’s still endangering family

And that pisses you off

So as you’re leaving the boardwalk’s convenience store

You basically say

“Do you want me to kill that guy for you?  Because it sounds like he sucks, and I’ll totally kill that guy for you”

And to his own surprise, David finds himself saying no

Because if you tried to murder max, you would die- or at least he thinks you would

And oddly enough, he doesn’t want that for you

And he, too, realizes why no one’s killed you yet

And then you just cement it by grabbing the eggs and going, “Come on, let’s test our free will”

Is it immature to throw eggs at the video store?

Absolutely

But fuck it, you have free will

Or maybe you’ve just been hanging around the frogs too much

SPEAKING OF WHICH 

IT MIGHT BE IMPORTANT TO MENTION

THAT THIS WHOLE TIME

You’ve been going back to the frog brothers’ comic book store every night

Just to check on them, make sure they aren’t dead

Bc, y’know, santa carla, murder capital

And every time you come into the store after an encounter with one of the Boys, you have this weird smile on your face

Of course, they think it might be vampires.

And after you come back from the video store, they bring this up with you

One of them has a stake in his hand, and they go

“You’ve been weird lately, and we think it’s vampires.  Do you want us to kill the vampires for you?  Because it sounds like they suck, and we’ll totally kill those vampires for you”

So clearly, threatening violence is how all frogs, adopted or otherwise, express their love

Anyway, you just go

“Jesus christ, you know there’s more out there than just vampires, right?  Also, no, I’m not being weird because of vampires, I’m being weird because I found charming people in santa carla of all places.  Imagine that.”

And then the next week you find out the boys are vampires

You stop by the cave, and at this point they’ve given up on eating you, but it’s just so clear, and you are

Filled With Regret

In part because Holy Shit Your Brothers Were Right

But also because you’re probably going to have to kill the boys??

And oddly enough

You Don’t Want To Kill The Boys???

They went from stalkers to sweethearts and you’re mad about it

So of course, upon figuring it out

(they don’t tell you, by the way, you figure it out thanks to the smell of death, the sharp teeth, the Single Bed for four men, a little boy, and poor fucking star, and the poorly hidden dead body in their cave)

Anyway, upon figuring it out

You take the most rational route:

You get marko in a chokehold and hold a stake to his chest

Poor marko, he always gets the short end of the stick

Anyway

The boys all lose their shit

Which is

Fair

To them it looks like you pulled of their plan- you charmed them, and now you’re going to kill them, or at least try to

But before they can, y’know, rip your head off of your shoulders

You go

“WAIT!  Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, here’s the thing.  I!  Don’t want to kill Marko!  And hey, I’ve lived this long, so I assume you don’t want to kill me.  So, let’s make a deal.  We don’t kill each other, and everyone lives.  Sound good?”

Once they agree, you let marko go

And y’know what, because i think he deserves it

He punches you

And you can’t even be mad at that, you just threatened his life

But alas, that’s not where it ends

Because you’ve got a clause to add to your little agreement 

“Wait,” you say, mildly out of breath from the punching, “You can’t kill me, and I’ve got two little brothers you can’t kill either.  Their parents run that comic book store, the one on the boardwalk?  And they’re off limits.”

The boys sigh and nod, but jesus christ do you have more to say

“They also might try to kill you?  You don’t have to worry about it or anything, they’re like, twelve.”

The boys are not twelve at this point, but that’s how old they’re going to be to you forever

You’re never going to be able to see them as anything other than actual babies because that’s how siblings work

Anyway, you continue

“I’m working on getting them to be less murder-y, but they are very blood thirsty for their age.  I’m sure you can relate.”

Yeahhhh, no one laughs at that joke but you

But it’s okay

The agreement is made

You and the frog brothers are off limits in terms of murder

And you Don’t to tell the frogs about this because they would Attempt To Murder Your Vampires, and that’s not what you want

And in the same vein 

The boys don’t breathe a word of this to max

Because he would order them to turn you and your brothers

Or worse!

He would order them to kill you and your brothers

And they Do Not Want that

AND IN A SIMILAR YET DIFFERENT VEIN

THEY CANNOT LEAVE YOU ALONE AROUND MAX

IN FACT, I DON’T THINK THEY EVER TELL YOU THAT HE’S THEIR SIRE

You just think he’s david’s dad, and you don’t ask questions, because they don’t answer your questions, because if you knew what kind of power max had over them, and how easy it would be to abuse that power, you would try to kill max

Because murder is the love language of the frogs.

Anyway, they’re pretty sure that you would get yourself killed if you tried to fight max

And you’re 100% sure that the frogs would get themselves killed if they tried to fight the boys

That or they might actually hurt one of the boys

You did train them a bit, so they aren’t totally incompetent 

And the whole thing is just a messy web 

It’s an endless game where the only goal is to try and keep the people you care about from killing each other while the people you care about try to keep you from killing the people they hate

It’s

Complicated 

But hey, when you practice delinquency with your boys

Any of your boys

That shit’s fuckin worth it

#the lost boys x reader #the lost boys x gender neutral reader #tlb x reader #tlb david x reader #tlb paul x reader #tlb dwayne x reader #tlb marko x reader #the lost boys drabble #is it a drabble at this point??? #it's more me writing what could be a multichapter fic in a way that keeps my attention lord help me #anyway yeah #x reader