#but for now I'll let you have this awful comic I made

[doshi-sukiru]

I just had this idea: When Macaque found Bai He, he cleaned her, dressed her, fed her and then made a nest and put her there so that the two of them could sleep together. Now she has her own room, but she prefers to sleep with Macaque in the nest. She feels warm and safe.

The guardians love Bai he, but they don't have enough room in their home to give her a room of her own, so she just stays in the nest Macaque made for her in his makeshift fort and spends her time near Macaque because he's the only person she's met in a long time that actually cares about her, and she'll be damned if she lets him go.

#ask #our ball of tangled yarn #lmk macaque #lmk bai he #qing #hongse #caring for bai he #Macaque would do that and more #but for now I'll let you have this awful comic I made

[yawnderu]

Together — Simon "Ghost" Riley x Reader

"In another life, I'd have the privilege of meeting you under different circumstances." His words were comforting as the cold started taking over your bodies, his gloved hand holding yours.

"In every single life, I'll be looking for you, Simon." His name was never sweeter than when it came out of your mouth. Simon was cursed, Simon lived a never-endind nightmare both as a civilian and as a soldier, but right now? Simon was the luckiest man alive, holding his loved one's hand as life began to slip away from them.

"I'll always look for you, love." His voice was weak, yet oddly calm for someone in his situation. They were separated from their group and badly wounded, yet as he began to accept this was their end, realization hit him. For once in his life, he felt deserving of something. All those thoughts about not even deserving to survive after his family was murdered seemed to be pushed to the back of his head. You didn't deserve this. Simon didn't deserve this, and there's no way in hell Ghost is going to give up. He's a fighter, for fuck's sake.

"Stray?" His gaze drifts down to her, taking in the way she's looking at him, the way she's looking at him like he's worth something, like he deserves the world, yet Simon doesn't want whatever the world has to offer.

"Hm?" Came your soft hum, throat sore from screaming into the comms after the mission failed and you were separated from Price and Gaz. It hurt, yet you didn't know what exactly it was. It was a stinging feeling all over that gave you shaky hands. It made you want to throw up, to claw on your skin until you could find what exactly was wrong, and to rip it out of your body once and for all. To be able to feel your body again, to be able to open your eyes without flinching at the harsh light, to be able to hear your own thoughts.

"I just want you to hold me." Ghost replied softly, groaning as he used all the strength he had left to help you up by the waist, making sure you could get on your feet before he leaned on the wall for support, soft groans and pained growls leaving his lips as he limped alongside you. "Don't let go."

Despite all the pain he's suffered, all his struggles and trauma, this moment feels different— it's like a release, a way to soothe the chaos his broken mind faces daily. He'd rather die fighting alongside you than fight alone. Within you, you're holding him together. You hold his heart, his pain and struggles, his mind, his soul.

"What has two legs and bleeds?" He asked out of nowhere, deep voice strained by his pain as he walked alongside you, holding you close. You were about to protest before you remember why he's doing that— he's trying to keep you awake, and he's trying to ease the tension and fear by joking around. Though this is commonly done by SAS soldiers, it's comical to see The Ghost doing it too, so you decide to entertain him.

"What?" You ask softly, a small grin on your face as you prepare for the shitty joke.

"Half a dog." He answers swiftly. Though you can't see his face due to the balaclava, you can see the slight shift on the mouth part of his mask, his eyes twinkling as they narrow slightly. He's clearly fighting off a grin, yet the dumb joke makes you laugh. You don't know if it's the blood loss making you delirious, or if the joke is actually that funny. Probably the blood loss.

"That was awful." You say, yet you're still giggling about the stupid joke. You both manage to make it out of the building, looking around at all the destruction caused by the enemy. No hostiles appeared to be near, luckily.

"Ghost, Stray, do you copy?" The comms break you both out of your daze as you stare at each other, immediately fumbling for the radio.

"Yes, sir." Ghost replies to Price, his deep voice now more professional as he requested medevac. For once in his life, Ghost felt human. Almost dying, yet more alive than ever. Maybe all his torture was finally worth it in the end, maybe for once in his life, he'd be able to have something nice. Something to call his. His hand reaches down to gently hold yours, squeezing it softly. I love you.

#simon riley #simon ghost riley #simon riley x reader #simon riley x you #ghost #cod mwii #cod mw2 #ghost mw2 #ghost mwii #ghost call of duty #ghost cod #ghost x reader #simon riley x y/n

[maopll]

Could I request Gepard, Luka, Welt, and Argenti finding their s/o's body pillow of them (the boys)?

THEM AS BODY PILLOWS

#honkai star rail !

⌗:, a/n : quick work cause I'm honestly getting so busy with this school year. we are rushing like crazy and it's only been 3 days since school started ...

⌗:, pairings : gepard (princess), luka, welt, & argenti w/ gn!reader (separately)

⌗:, note : I too would do this

— ୨ GEPARD ୧

You look sweet sleeping comfortably in your bed but why ... why do you have him as a body pillow ? Him being flustered would be an understatement. He would be pacing everywhere just seeing you hugging the face of the body pillow close to your chest and one leg hanging over his waist.

He just stares quietly at you for a moment as thoughts flood him. He was thinking that he was away for so long you had to resort to cuddling with a 'gepard pillow' instead of him and he's even more sad. Not because you made him a pillow without his consent but rather that you were so lonely.

He gently removes the pillow and replaces it with him, but taking great care in not throwing it to some corner of the room. He hold you by your waist softly yet firmly and presses a chaste kiss on your lips. He murmurs a soft 'sorry' before also drifting off to sleep with you.

"mmm... wait... Gepard? when did you come? and...Where's the pillow?..." you can find the pillow later it's time to cuddle your baby since that's what you were doing and should be doing now that he's here.

— ୨ LUKA ୧

He's squealing and jumping up and down. You look so cute ! and peaceful sleeping like that. He clicks more than ten pictures and immediately makes them his wallpaper. Oh you're too cute to resist but it's quite unfair that you are cuddling a pillow which can't cuddle you back but now that he's here you can hug 'luka' as much as you want.

"Baby! I'm here now scoot over let me cuddle with you" he looks like a golden retriever who just wants to hog their master's attention and affection all to themselves. It's not that you can actually deny him of his well deserved affection.

"Aw fine fine I'll kiss you and cuddle you, you big baby" you held his face with your hands and smooched him with kisses all over his face.

"That's not enough!" and there he goes tackling you and throwing your body onto the bed. It's gonna be a long time before he's done cuddling with you...

— ୨ WELT ୧

"If you wanted to spend time with me that much, you could have just told me" Welt chuckles as he sees you practically strangling the Welt body pillow that you have as you hold it close to yourself.

"I can't possibly disturb you when you have so may missions to go on! and... I missed you so much.."

The last few words came out as a whisper but loud enough for Welt to understand what you meant and it was true. He went to Xianzhou and then the Penacony's Family called him and the other crew members so he had basically no time to spare for even a few minutes of rest.

"I know love...sorry...I'm here now for a long time so you can spend as much time as you want with me." He pressed a kiss to your forehead and caressed your hair as he shoved the pillow slowly from you hand.

"No need to worry anymore dear... I will kiss you until you fall asleep in my arms"

— ୨ AREGNTI ୧

"Preposterous! Oh Idrila! I cannot fathom this anymore" he screams in a comical fashion.

"Chill Argenti, it's just a pillow... a pillow with your face,"

The most dramatic one because he can't understand why you would have to resort to cuddling with a non living thing when the living thing is right beside you walking, talking and breathing !

"Dearest this is a blasphemous act which a knight of beauty, especially one who is loyal to their oaths, can take! Why, why, pray tell, would you have to cuddle with a pillow?!" he falls to his knees.

You just sigh and drag him by his hand.

"Argenti, I didn't break whatever oath you are talking about and I still love you! I just wanted to make a pillow with you on it so that I wouldn't feel lonely when you're gone...to conduct your knightly duties..." you huff.

You saw how Argenti's shoulders relax and how he let out a content smile.

"Then looks like another one of my knightly duties need to be done hm?" he says so cheekily as he picks you up and carries you to cuddle with him ,"surely you can spare some time for the real deal my dove"

tagging: @fictoculus @poison-demon @mitsvriii @pianopuppygirl @sleepy-waffle

join the taglist !

#honkai star rail #honkai star rail x reader #gepard fluff #gepard x reader #hsr gepard #luka fluff #luka x reader #hsr luka #welt fluff #welt yang #welt x reader #hsr welt #argenti fluff #argenti x reader #hsr argenti

[rosewould]

one way; cbg

part i | part ii | part iii

🖊️⇝ pairing; afab!reader x beomgyu

🖊️⇝ word count; 17.3k

🖊️⇝ genre; enemies 2 lovers, smut, & angst

🖊️⇝synopsis; things have gotten much more complicated in a relationship that spawned from simplicity

🖊️⇝ warnings; thoughts of suicide and murder, brief descriptions of gore, PIV, balls in mouth, lots of kissing, not super smut heavy, manipulation, betrayal, descriptions of depression, assault (the usual), passionate sex, the l bomb

📜⇝ aw man, this is very BITTERsweet. Idk how I feel about this. Ask me in a week and I'll either love or hate it. I didn't go into part one expecting to flesh out their relationship, so please forgive me if this long awaited finale doesn't reach your expectations. I am happy to finally say it's finished though!!

You didn’t remind Beomgyu of anyone. Maybe before you started having sex, that’s why he was so sure. He felt like he was experiencing deja vu from how similar you were to those groupies. Just awkward, quirky, and harmless. You’re only here to do your job and just happened to become friends with this celebrity. The romantic feelings that developed, oh those are to be expected. Of course you fell in love! But if another handsome, famous fella came around and was willing… that love is suddenly conditional.

But then you were letting Beomgyu bite your lip and rip your clothes off, you were shoving your tongue down his throat and letting him fuck you in every conceivable position. While still remaining kind and loyal to Soobin.

You were even open about the things Beomgyu did to you. You didn’t care how it made you look or if it would scare the others off. You didn’t present it as this passionate sexy moment, but the clumsy and somewhat comical situation it was. You were comfortable with them. Letting them see the real you even if it wasn’t exactly attractive. Maybe Beomgyu was wrong about you.

Then he’d catch these glimpses. Moments where he really saw Hyesoo in you. Everyone would be laughing and then suddenly you’d bring up a recent accomplishment of Soobin’s. It seemed weird to shift mid-conversation to boost him up. But when Beomgyu looked around, no one else saw anything wrong with it. He was hyper analyzing you and he was trying to stop. It was hard not to think about Hyesoo period, but with a new woman cozied up in their dorm it was even harder.

When you’d hit Soobin’s arm while laughing, buy only him snacks and drinks, laugh at his jokes harder than anyone else, fall asleep with your head on his shoulder. No matter how much he tried to stop himself, he couldn’t stop thinking you were buttering him up. Locking him in.

Here he was, staying up until 5 am dwelling on every thought that enters his brain. He lays stagnant in your bed, staring at the ceiling but really at nothing at all. His head flops to the side and he catches a glimpse of your peaceful expression. His eyes track down to your arms curled around his bicep. He looks back up at the ceiling with a lengthy sigh. 

He needs to leave.

It started with him staying a little longer to eat up the food in your fridge. You staying to chat with some of the guys. Him staying to help clean up the vase that fell and shattered during your ministrations. You staying to clean yourself off and mentioning that maybe he should bring by a few spare items of clothing in case he wants to shower at your place. Now both of you have clothes at the other’s house and he’s spending the night.

He could dwell on everything he should or shouldn’t be doing right now or he could stop fighting how the warmth of your presence is lulling him to sleep.

-🖊️⇝

Beomgyu wakes up in the absence of your warmth. If his memory serves him correctly, you’re off to practice by now. He can’t help feeling pathetic as everyone rushes off to their duties while he lounges around. He only has one month left of his suspension before he’s back on the grind. He wants to just enjoy it, but the loneliness of it all after years of constantly being surrounded by hoards of people was undeniably crushing. The people he does see are usually rushing around before leaving him in an empty house.

He slumps out of your room and is hit with the scent of freshly made toast. He spots you in the kitchen, rushing around with a piece of toast dangling from your teeth. Upon seeing Beomgyu your eyes widen, brows raising as you prompt him.

“D’you like butter on your toast? Actually, don’t say anything, I’m doing it.” Your speech is muffled until you take a bite and set the piece down. When Beomgyu finally reaches the kitchen he sees you sloppily slathering butter onto two extra pieces of toast. You place them on a small plate before pushing it toward him. You quickly steal another bite of your toast before scowling at him. “You better not leave a mess for me to clean up.”

Once you finish chewing you’re still maintaining eye contact with Beomgyu. He stares intently, and you wonder if he’s still groggy from just waking up. Then his eyes break away to the state of your hair. He gives another second of thought before sweeping the unruly strands into place.

“You’re going outside, where people will see you.” He tsks.

“Said people should mind their business.” You punctuate by tearing off a chunk of your toast, maintaining eye contact pointedly. You throw the matching jacket to your sweatpants over your shoulder. “Lock my door before you leave!”

As the door shuts, the sound echoing through the now empty apartment, Beomgyu feels hyper aware of how much empty space surrounds him where he stands. The loneliness looms over him, a reminder no matter where he goes. He may joke around, but Beomgyu tries not to whine about his problems. It feels especially inappropriate since you were in this same situation, bound to this apartment with a suddenly empty schedule. But for you, you weren’t sure if you were getting fired or worse, getting stuck in the dungeon for years with no end in sight. 

He thinks about that the entire time he stays within your walls. Where you stood, sat, and lied in limbo. From the couch, he glances over at the spot he found you lying in the day after you wrecked your house. A dark, malicious feeling crawls up his spine and he squirms. Staying in your house was already confusing for him, but with this feeling of what… guilt? He had nothing to feel guilty over. He was protecting his members.

Either way, it was overwhelming. He leaves your home, locking it on the way out. His dorm had his things. He can play video games all day until his eyes dry out. It was undeniably unfulfilling, despite it being what he craved since his trainee years. It felt as empty as his home.

He intentionally has his headphones only over one ear so he can hear when the door clicks open. It’s too quiet to be more than one member. Whatever, he’ll take what he can get. He leaves the game lobby, throwing his headphones off and rushing out of his room. When his eyes are met with blonde hair he stops in his tracks. Soobin silently regards him, not sparing him an ounce of emotion as he makes his way to the fridge. He grabs a soda, pops it open, and throws it back. Beomgyu waits patiently, he needs the interaction and Soobin has to give up this silent treatment at some point.

Soobin empties the can and tosses it, a silent conflict bleeding through his indifference to Beomgyu’s presence. Both men stand in silence, Beomgyu surveying each twitch in Soobin’s expression.

Soobin grits his teeth, hoping if he squeezes hard enough this aggravating feeling flaring up will pass. “You know what really pisses me off?” He snaps once he fails.

The relief he expected doesn’t come. There’s a pang of anxiety creeping up his spine in its place. “That I’m mean to your friend-”

“That I have a feeling this is all about that situation you refuse to talk about.” Soobin immediately shoots down his quip, sparing none of his valuable time for Beomgyu’s antics. Soobin finds that new trials and tribulations rear their ugly head just when he thought he’d gotten used to them. Recently Beomgyu has been one huge trial. He hasn’t been a good leader when dealing with this but Beomgyu is also his friend and roommate. Is he not allowed to just be upset by the actions of someone so close to him? Physically and emotionally?

When he looks over at Beomgyu it’s clear from the look on his face that he’s still not going to engage. Of course it wouldn’t be that easy. Letting out a lengthy sigh, he decides it’s time to abandon his personal grievances for now.

“You slept over at her house?”

Finally, it felt like someone was clamping their hands around his throat. “What, are you jealous or something?” He melts back into his usual self.

“I’m your leader.” Why does he even remind him anymore? It’s becoming increasingly apparent that the title means nothing to him.

“Yeah, you love reminding me of that fact when it’s convenient but it doesn’t apply here.” Getting his fill of interaction, he leaves the kitchen in favor of the living room. “It’s none of your business.”

“It became my business when you got in trouble. You’re on suspension, Beomgyu.” Yet again reminding him of something he clearly doesn’t care about. At least, he thinks he doesn’t until Beomgyu stops. His back is turned toward Soobin but he can still tell that it got to him.

Beomgyu no longer feels isolated but he does feel trapped again. Like the exits are too far away for him to escape and he’s forced to face this. “I don’t blame you for not speaking to the therapist they provide us with the risk of your confessions being reported, but if you tell me what’s going on we can figure this out. I’m also your friend, Beomgyu. You can talk to me.” He says softly, jumping at the chance of an opening.

This is the same guy he would laugh with until it physically hurt but he still couldn’t stop. The one who’d sneak him extra food as trainees. He’s a lovable dork who has proved on so very many occasions that he cares about each and every one of his members. Beomgyu can see it, he can feel it whipping around in the air. Soobin is right and he’s being stubborn again. It’s like the walls are closing in and pushing him closer to Soobin’s hurt but hopeful eyes. Beomgyu shuts his own.

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

Before Beomgyu can see the full transition of his expression he whips around, making his way to his room.

“Really? You’re still gonna pretend nothing is wrong?!” Soobin’s increase in volume is ignored as Beomgyu slams the door behind him.

-🖊️⇝

Tomorrow is Beomgyu’s last day in suspension. Yeonjun proposed they throw a party, just another excuse for Yeonjun to party. He invites anyone whose schedule is free which turns out to be a surprising amount of people. Friendly Yeonjun knows pretty much everyone in this generation and some from previous ones. This once empty building waiting to be bought was filled wall to wall with idols, models, and actors. 

Everyone notable in Beomgyu’s life saw the suspension as a no-touch subject that dampened the mood, except for you of course, the delightful person you are. Here? People are coming up to him with a tone that can only be described as vengeful.

“HYBE seems like such tight asses. You guys should ditch that place and come sign with KQ.” Hongjoong delivers a solid pat to Beomgyu’s back as he guides him to the stacked liquor table. “Let’s forget about all of that tonight.” Hongjoong messily pours two shots, either from having too many already or from sheer excitement to let loose. He hands Beomgyu one before raising his into the air. “To freedom!”

It’s almost surreal. The music feels like it swells as reality starts to dawn on him. His containment is soon to be over and he is completely surrounded by people. Things were finally gonna start looking up again.

“To freedom!” 

They both knock back their shots and submerge themselves back into the crowd of people with refreshed energy. His first instinct was to find you for some celebratory cum dumping, maybe fuck you into the wall of one of these fancy port-o-potties.

“Hey.” 

The voice leads Beomgyu’s eyes to a pair of sultry eyes and plump lips curved into a flirty smile. She was a perfect ten with a rack sitting pretty, the round, soft spheres of her cleavage taunting his already horny brain. Jisun was always a nice piece of eye candy. “Catch up to me,” She gestures to the shot in her hand, “and then let’s play.”

-🖊️⇝

Beomgyu is strange. He clearly still holds some resentment toward you, or at least skepticism, but he’s still around a lot. And you are too, which feels like poking the tiger. If he suddenly decides he still hates you he can rat you out with proof this time. You did blackmail the man. But this is just easier. Being strict and clear about your relationship was exhausting. Sometimes you don’t want to journey right back home after getting your back blown out.

All it would take was one joke from Beomgyu about you being clingy and you would’ve snapped back to the strict rules. Then he spent the night over your house and you felt a little at ease.

That meant you could finally have a sleepover at their dorm, staying up all night with Soobin watching scary movies and then being too scared to sleep. It also didn’t hurt having something warm to snuggle up to. The strangest part? Beomgyu seemed to be easing up. He stopped giving you that look as much, as if he’s trying to catch you scheming.

The party was much needed, and judging by the vibe of literally everyone else around you, all the partygoers would agree. There’s this overwhelming sense of relief and it’s intoxicating. Nobody can be as relieved as Beomgyu, wherever he is. You keep an eye out for him, in case he wants to monkey around in some pocket of the building. 

“Hey!!” Soobin grabs your shoulder to stop you as he maneuvers around you. “There you are!”

“And here you are! I can’t believe you’re here and not at home watching anime!” You lean a little closer for him to hear over the music.

“I know! I decided I could try and blow off some steam since I pretty much have the day off tomorrow.”

“Pretty much?” You ask, curious if a monthly diet and exercise report was a company-wide event.

“We’re having a meeting before Beomgyu is reinstated. They said it’d be a small one but I’m still blowing off steam in advance.”

“Yikes. Let’s get some drinks in your system.” You guide him to the alcohol like a nurse escorting a frail patient.

All four of you were downing shots like your life depended on it on opposite sides of the bar. Beomgyu was caught up far before you and Soobin drank your stress away, so away he went. Jisun was whisked to whatever private area they stumbled across first. The spacious storage closet behind the first door he opened seemed like stumbling across the gates of heaven. With a swift turn, he flashes Jisun a smirk and pulls her in. 

“Have you seen Beomgyu yet?” You probe, trying to look casual and not let your genuine inquiry slip through. You’re realizing the longer you’ve gone without seeing him today that you may crave more than just a quickie. A flash of his signature smirk passes through your mind and your stomach fills with a joyous warmth. You find yourself smiling. You quickly drop the smile, peering at Soobin as he stares at the ceiling.

“Not yet. I decided not to look for him and just let him relax. This party is for him after all.” He speaks quietly and you can tell there’s a lot more going unsaid. “For all we know he might not be here.” You laugh, having to force it as this feeling you can’t– or won’t– describe dawns on you. Soobin sighs, not able to shake the conflict in his head.

“I don’t know what’s going on with this man. I don’t know how to get him to talk about it-” He stops, raising his hands as if the gesture will help him conjure his thoughts. He shuts his mouth, dropping his hands in favor of grabbing a shot and downing it. “Has he said anything to you? About anything bothering him?”

“To me? Yeah, that’s not really how our relationship works.” You shake your head, tossing your own shot back to try and dull the emotions begging to be unpacked. Is something bothering him? When is something not bothering him? Now that you think about it, you haven’t seen goofy Beomgyu with your own eyes. You’ve just heard about his harmless mischief through the grapevine. “Loveable brat” is how you overheard Chaewon describe him. You didn’t really get either descriptor at first. More like “punchable asshole”. Without the constant screaming and threatening to ruin the other’s career, you suppose you’re getting close to seeing that side of him. The night before he slept over you shared a kiss that was simple. So simple it was loaded. There was no lust behind it, just a tender gesture with no follow up. Just you waking up holding him. And him holding you. 

“Did something happen?” You ask before chewing on your nail.

“Around when we first debuted. I haven’t thought about it in years because he refuses to talk about it. I really don’t think this is just about him wanting to protect us.” Soobin shoves his shot glass away, seemingly giving up on that method since it doesn’t appear to be working.

“Boy, aren’t you glad you got stuck with these guys?” You laugh and he lets one out as well, though unintentionally. He shakes his head, straightening his face. “No, I am. I really am. I’m lucky.” He knows you’re joking, but it doesn’t settle well when he remembers how he’s been acting. Beomgyu’s supposed leader giving him the silent treatment like a child or a frustrated lover. He sighs, letting out another laugh. This time it’s dry, expressing contempt for himself.

“I’m not really in the mood for a party anymore.”

Beomgyu did not ruin your career but he did ruin the mood for both of you and he wasn’t even there. You echoed his sentiments and he convinces you to come over. It wasn’t very hard, seeing as you could both use the company. There are no other members home yet so you didn’t have to share the blanket. You had it wrapped around the both of you like a cocoon as you tortured him with a scary movie. 

“We could’ve been watching The Bad Guys and-” Soobin wails loudly right beside your ear at the world’s most poorly set up jumpscare making you jerk away from him. He clings to you but you pry him off immediately.

“Are you not ashamed? A baby could sit through this.” You deride, shoving him away again when he tries to lean into you. “You’re so mean!” He erupts after trying to grab onto you a third time.

“No, you’re just a pussy.”

Soobin stands from the couch and snatches the remote from the other side of you. He pauses the movie, ignoring your protesting. “Since when were you so comfortable with disrespecting me?” He scolds playfully, setting his hands on his hips. “Last I remember, I was still your senior.”

“Would you rather I kiss your ass like before?” You cock your head to the side with a raise of your eyebrow, speaking about your former crush for the first time to him outside of the initial awkward phase after the rooftop mishap. He finally collects himself, fighting through his shock. He sits back beside you, keeping his eyes on you as he wraps the blanket back around you.

“I like this version of you much better.” He admits quietly, eyes genuine as they gaze into yours. You breathe a small laugh.

“Don’t tell me you’ve got a crush now, Choi.” You reply at the same volume. The atmosphere felt a lot more volatile suddenly, it was as if you both were close to triggering something.

“You’re getting ahead of yourself.” His eyes leave yours, giving you a little time to breathe. “I am turned on, though.”

Your pussy clenches hard, feeling a vortex of pleasure swirl in your stomach. You suck in a breath subconsciously as your eyes become glued to how his tongue skits over his bottom lip. He must be wetting them in an attempt to maintain their softness, unlike Beomgyu who bites at them until they’re utterly ruined. Kind of like he’s doing now back at the party. He just needs some way to cope with the pulsing need overwhelming him when he needs to empty his balls. With two handfuls of Jisun’s tits, he gets a similar feeling. His teeth dig and tug at his poor bottom lip. Better it be his lip than her soft skin. He needs to remember this isn’t you he’s playing with.

Fuck, if it were you he’d sink his nails in until you yelped. Feeling his cock jump at the sound and ache at the thought of you loving the pain as much as he loves inflicting it. That delicious look in your eye exposing how much you want to absolutely ruin him in a way no one has before.

But the look you give Soobin gives Soobin pause. He raises his eyebrows before leaning back, letting his head fall back onto the couch. “You don’t still have a crush on me, do you?”

His eyes are like hot fudge drizzling over a mound of ice cream, melting every inch it touches. Still, something nags at you. You need something inside you and you need it bad… but this should be affecting you much more. “I don’t think you have to worry about that.”

His eyes dip lower, sucking his bottom lip into his mouth. Nag nag nag. It’s just dick, you tell yourself. You just need some hard sex and this feeling will go away. You grab Soobin by his shirt and pull him on top of you. He happily engulfs you with his large body, caging you in as he devours your lips. They’re still slick with his own spit. They squish and slide against yours and your body ignites. You wrap your legs around him and push his bulge into your core. He groans and you grin against his mouth. So vocal.

Beomgyu would say the same about Jisun, except it wouldn’t be praise. It’s just noise with no rhyme or reason. She’s not reacting to the curl of his fingers inside her, her moans don't correspond with the clench of her walls, there’s no sign she’s being caught off guard by anything he’s doing. Just. Noise.

Everything about her just dissolves into meaningless blobs of nothing. His fingers sloshing inside a wet cavern, his hands squeezing doughy flesh, and his lips brushing against mindless flaps that omit noise constantly. It quickly becomes mind-numbing and he can feel himself going limp. If you were here instead, you’d gasp when he pushed his fingertips into your bundle of nerves. Not meaning to dig your fingers into his shoulders but not being able to help how your body naturally reacts. You don’t want to whimper when he sucks on that sweet spot on your neck but you just can’t help it.

He can feel himself get hard again, his fingers curling and pushing into Jisun’s heat fluidly with you vivid behind his clenched lids. Where are you? He’s suddenly pulled out of the heated moment he’s sharing as the question pops into his mind. If he searched for you, could he be inside you right now instead? Jisun’s noises pull him from his thoughts. How pathetic would it be for him to scramble out of the closet, pussy juice still on his middle and ring finger as he looks for you with his eyes wide like a puppy? First he cuddles you and spends the night at your house and then you see him like that? His eyes snap open.

He grunts, pumping his fingers with more vigor. He has a warm hole for tonight. There’s always tomorrow. That frustrating feeling of the intoxicating warmth leaving his groin as you dissipate from his mind is back and he chases it again. The image of Jisun’s exaggerated expressions flicker away behind his fluttering lids before his mind projects your face twitching to keep your bliss hidden. Pleasure so strong that even the raging flames of hatred can’t burn it away. 

A penis entering a vagina was something you were taught was reserved for the pinnacle of love. When you were old enough you were promised tender touches and emotions so deep and complex they would bring you to tears. You and Beomgyu were swept up into the limelight long before you could get a chance to naturally build up such a relationship and experience such a transcendental feeling. Instead, the two of you bastardized the act with one night stands and relationships built on flimsy foundations only to come crashing down from neglect or simply not knowing who was under your sacred roof. How could you not? There’s no time, too much stress, and too much at stake. 

So you fuck and fuck until the act becomes something so unrecognizable that you come out the other end. Letting someone tear at your flesh and tamper with your spirit as they touch you the way someone you love should. Yet here you are with someone who would treat you right, someone who you longed for for so long, someone who holds you like you’re porcelain with passion still flowing through every action. You should be falling head over heels again. Your crush should be flooding back with crashing waves wrecking everything in its wake until nothing is left but your undying need for Soobin. But no. He mouths your neck as he thrusts shallowing, checking in to make sure he’s not hurting you. 

Everyone who taught you about how sex would feel were right about one thing. You were brought to tears. 

“Beomgyu.” You blubber shamefully, gritting your teeth before hiccupping. You fail to suppress it. Everything becomes a blur as tears stream down your face. The self-pity numbs you beyond repair.

Your name leaving Beomgyu’s lips doesn’t feel real. He only realizes what he’s done after Jisun’s warmth is gone. He opens his eyes and she has moved as far away from him as she possibly can in the confined space. Her angry words don’t register as she fixes herself and storms out, brushing his shoulder on her way. Once he was old enough, Beomgyu was taught a little differently. His father would wait until his mother left the room to get filthy about it, wiggling his eyebrows. His friends would boast and fantasize lewdly in the back of the classroom about it. The pinnacle of sex was supposed to be casual with beautiful women. The only hate sex guys his age fantasized about were low-stakes scenarios you only see in porn. What the two of you had? No one with any ounce of self-preservation would touch this with a ten foot pole. They’d call you “psycho”, block your number, and avoid you like the plague.

Not daydream about you while experiencing a man’s definition of the pinnacle of sex. 

-🖊️⇝

Soobin is a saint. He waited patiently for you to calm down, holding you and rubbing your back. He didn’t complain about his lack of finishing once and didn’t make you feel awkward. He just giggled at your swollen face after you finished. You sat quietly on the couch, staring at whatever movie had auto-played.

“You guys are very similar, you know?”

The urge to start crying again chokes you and you swallow it down. “Soobin, that's a horrible thing to say.” You sigh.

He laughs loudly, trying to stifle his overflowing amusement after seeing your eyes get glassy again. “That’s why you hate each other so much I think.” He says once the humor subsides.

“I hate him because he was horrible to me.” You correct, unable to suppress the annoyance flaring up at his ignorant assumption.

“He was horrible to you, right?” He looks over at you, looking back at the tv once he sees your stone-like expression. “But you still resent each other despite you guys not being at each other’s throats for about a month now.”

“Because I’m wary. He’s wary. We both are constantly remembering something horrible we did to one another.” You suck in a breath, ready to vent about all the ways he’s scarred your skin with proof, but which ones were the ones you encouraged? It didn’t feel appropriate to lie or guess no matter how much you wanted to. Fuck, you wanted to scream about Beomgyu and how much you should hate him. You whimper, resting your face in your hands. “What’s wrong with me?”

Soobin doesn’t answer, leaving you with your own thoughts. You find yourself appreciating the silence.

“Do you love him?”

Numb and hollow… yet throbbing and infected. The space between the skin of your forehead and the bone of your skull felt like it was swimming with complicated activity as your brain echoed the devastating question. Not because the answer was yes but because it had to be answered at all. You raise your head slowly from shaking hands before standing from the couch.

“I’m going to sleep.”

-🖊️⇝

Waking up that morning for both of you was somehow more loaded than waking up in each other’s arms. You couldn’t be with each other or away. It didn’t matter. It wasn’t simple anymore and the complication of it all was starting to get exhausting. You slip from beneath Soobin’s arm, careful not to wake him. Beomgyu trudges out of his bed, feet plodding heavily toward his door. Both doors close simultaneously with a dull, echoing thud, neither noticing the other as you both stand in silence. It’s only when you start to move that Beomgyu notices you. His chest rises slightly with a small gasp. There you are.

“You didn’t tell me you were coming.”

For a second your eyes meet his and there’s a flicker of something that excites him. You straighten up. “I was with Soobin.”

“But you could’ve been with me.” Beomgyu can feel himself get worked up at just the thought of something that actually gets him going. 

“Believe it or not,” You draw nearer and Beomgyu’s eyes are locked onto your lips as they part. You lean in and the warmth of your proximity ceases his breathing “he kept me company.” 

It felt like slow motion when you pulled away and winked at Beomgyu. A gesture that should’ve been harmless and maybe even cute made Beomgyu feel like hot curdled liquid was crawling down his throat.

Once you pull back Beomgyu’s expression hardens. His eyes prick you like needles. “What?”

His tone and glare make you flinch. Your smirk flickers away. This is usually how it starts, but a part of you just wanted to cut out all the bullshit and get to the part where he makes you scream his name. But the look in his eye… something’s different. Something’s wrong. 

“I-I had a little fun with Soobin. It didn’t really go far though because I…” You choke on your words, feeling your heart throb when he tore his eyes away. He couldn’t read your mind but you couldn’t stop yourself from believing he somehow sniffed out the pitiful truth. 

Beomgyu laughs dryly and each moment without proper words made you feel like screaming. Beomgyu flexes his hands, avoiding your eyes while he cracks his knuckles. He balls them into tight fists before staring at you with a level of fury that makes your blood run cold. “I fucking knew it.”

The words struggle to leave his lips as if they had to pass through a filter of his growing disdain for you. Quiet, yet still piercing enough to get you stammering. “Y-you can’t be serious. You’re not seriously talking about what I think you are right now are you?!”

And just like that the two of you are back to square one. Everything that happened in the last two months, hell, the last 48 hours feel like they mean nothing. Why would they? It’s Beomgyu’s fault for letting things get the way they are. Beomgyu feels this nauseating sensation curdle in his stomach and it’s strong. So strong it forces a lie out of him. 

“I’m just trying to protect my members. God– is that a crime or something? Why am I the bad guy? You’re not gonna get away with using us like toys. Maybe you’ll have better luck whoring around Enhypen.” He spits out the words, hating the way they taste. This is your guys’ dynamic, right? Now you’ll start throwing things and screaming at him. 

But nothing comes and Beomgyu realizes he hasn’t been looking at you. At what point he looked away again, he wasn’t sure, but he couldn’t get himself to make eye contact again. The lack of response clouds his lungs, a stabbing pain screaming in his temples.

After the silence suffocates him to near death he finally manages to look at you. He has to muster all his strength, but he does. And you’re crying. His body feels hollow. No arousal or sadistic pleasure is derived from this. He can’t even feign it.

Still, the silence won’t let up and as if to punish him, his body won’t let him look away. As if two hands are holding his head in place and as a sinister voice hisses in his ears.

LOOK AT WHAT YOU’VE DONE.

How much time passes, he’s not sure. Enough time for him to realize how much chaos and stress he’s caused to his leader, his members, his company, and to an innocent person with an innocent crush.

More tears well and skit from your cheekbones straight to the carpet beneath both your feet. Darkening the fabric. The words you’ve been choking on finally release, though they sound frail and strangled. “Beomgyu. I don’t know how else to get through to you. I care about Soobin. Fuck…” You don’t attempt to wipe the tears away or cease them in any way. Your head falls as if your neck can no longer support it. “I was starting to care about you.” 

Hostile would be putting it lightly. The activity in your brain and heart is like a dozen hornet’s nests being shaken and preparing to erupt, one for each emotion reaching its peak. You grit your teeth so hard you think they’ll crumble under the pressure.

“You wanna know something? The only person hurting someone by turning on them is you.” You hate the implications this leaves but your thoughts and emotions are on overdrive and you need to leave before it gets any uglier. “I’ll respect your wishes. Friends aren’t worth dealing with this, I’d rather be alone. Just promise me you won’t involve my career in your bullshit this time.”

As you storm away, barely able to look that man in the eye you realize this. This is what you were wary of the entire time. It wasn’t him ruining your career or biting you until he draws blood or turning your friends against you. It was this feeling you were experiencing. Pain so deep you’d almost call it heartbreak. However, it wasn’t earned from time spent with someone who cherished you and made you feel like you were worth something. All this heartache…

You let him do unspeakable things to you. You let him hurt you in ways you would’ve never let anyone else. You welcomed it.

In an alternate reality, you’d be kicked out of your company, stuck with a damning reputation, and banned from the only true friends you had. The man who would’ve caused all that turmoil in your life, with the intent to cause that harm, is the same one who your heart is aching for. 

-🖊️⇝

The curtains across the room have become blurry blobs of color after being stuck staring in that direction for what felt like too long. You had to start, if you’re late sending this video in then there will be another crack. You manage to squeeze your eyes shut and jump start your brain once again from its brief hiatus.

The inhale you suck in shudders beyond your control. The more time that passes with that song out in the open for anyone to hear, the less you can hide your anxiety. You hold your breath until it hurts before blowing out a rushed gust of wind. You’re stagnant again, and before your brain can shut down for one more sweet break you force a smile and hit record.

“Hello precious moonbeams!~ I hope you’re all doing well. Thank you for all the support on Strawberry Jam. I was so worried!” You pout. “It’s a bit of a weird song, right? It’s very different from Laude so I was scared you guys wouldn’t like it. But… wow. The support is…” Sincerity bleeds through as you reflect on traversing your favorite store and then hearing your voice through the speakers.

“Pierce me, Bruise me, keep going until you see strawberry jam”

Your blood runs cold, and your eyes snap up as if you’re being caught saying something you didn’t mean to be publicized. A couple of passersby whisper or stare or gasp. You run out of the store.

Before you can get too sincere you force the smile back in place. “It’s overwhelming. Seriously.” Your eyes get glassy and you chew on your lip. “Thank you.”

All the cracks that have reared their ugly head so far have been mostly forgotten because of the overnight success of your first comeback. Your debut was deemed a flop in comparison to your colleagues, so this was absolutely necessary. It was mandatory. You finally feel like you’re making progress digging out of this deep hole. 

There are signs your company still doesn’t fully trust you.

The first big sign was the debut delays. You were sure they were going to cancel it and that they saw you as a risk. The cracks were treacherous. Then you debuted and the reception was lukewarm. You sat in limbo for days, reading negative comments until your head span. A piece chips off revealing an inky black abyss. 

Then you heard your comeback song. Instead of classy and subdued like your debut, this song was hard to swallow. It was asymmetrical and loud. It was raunchy.

“What do you think?”

You sat in silence, jaw dropped open, a truck sized lump in your throat. You could hear the sound of cracking. But why? This song was a clear hit. You could hear another idol performing it well. 

But it’s yours.

“Ready to record?”

You nod, hoping that will become true with time.

The track plays and your fears ease a bit. You bob your head to the beat. Everything goes fine until the same lyrics that struggle to come out of your mouth approach. You power through. You need this.

“I should hate it but I don’t”

This will be a hit, you can get through this. 

You continue powering through but the dread builds and builds. You hate this line, you hate it so much. Your breath gets caught in your throat right before it’s time and you know you’re about to choke.

“Can’t promise I won’t cry but I…” You sigh and drop your head. You already knew it was coming when they ask you to do it again.

“Can’t promise I won’t cry but I-I know that you like that…”

CRACK

The producer slides his headphones off with a chuckle. “I know. It’s weird, right?” He winces as if he’s mirroring your assumed feelings on the matter. He’s half right. It’s obscene and you hate it. You hate it so much.

“I’m sorry, let’s go again.”

The track replaying is like a death march. Your throat bobs, doing little to refresh your throat that feels like it’s filled with cactus needles and glass.

“Can’t promise I won’t cry but I know that you like that-”

The line processes in your mind and you connect it to the past despite avoiding doing so as if your life depends on it. You reflect on all the times he’s brought you to tears. How hot they felt rushing from your eyes after you frustratingly kissed him for the first time. How helpless and pathetic you felt crying as he restrained your wrists, only to spray you in his seed mockingly. And most frustratingly of all, you crying while revealing that you actually cared about him after he did exactly what you knew he would.

CRACK

The calls of your name are muffled as flashes of his face refuse to leave. You grit your teeth, feeling a frightening level of rage familiarly build up inside you. “I hate him.”

You rush out of the recording booth, mortified as tears stream down your face. He’s done it again. He isn’t even here and he’s done it again. If he could see you right now he’d probably smile. It would probably brighten his day. And you welcomed that monster into your bed.

You’re all the way back home once you realize what you’ve done. The producer is probably calling your manager who is calling the CEO about how much of a pain in the ass you are. You need to get yourself together quickly and get back there. You run to your bathroom and look in the mirror. You plant your shaky hands on the sink

“I’m…”

Your voice wavers. Your resolve dissipates as you stare at the cracks that have transferred to your very visage. A shard dangles where your eye resides before falling away. Again, the black nothingness is left behind and you’ve already forgotten what your face normally looks like.

Your phone starts to buzz and you slowly fade back to reality.

-🖊️⇝

“I have no clue who that is. Why can’t we collab with a Korean artist?” Beomgyu mutters. Soobin grits his teeth and elbows him. He rolls his eyes despite the instant regret. It takes only a minute of fading into the background as the other guys engage in productive conversation for the guilt to fully bloom. On one couch there were four employees and one temperamental child.

No matter where he goes he feels this way. The guys don’t bring girls to the dorm anymore. If they go out to see one, they nervously lie about it and rush out of the door. 

Anytime they bring up a memory tainted with you, Beomgyu is greeted with shocked silence and finds four panicked eyes on him like they’re afraid they’ve poked a tiger.

All those posters, cardboard cutouts, and billboards that are fucking everywhere are like land mines. To anyone else it would be comical to watch four grown, big ass men tiptoeing around a mall like one wrong step will blow their leg clean off.

And the song.

Beomgyu… he is really trying to get better. If he didn’t attempt to, Soobin would probably choke him out. He’s been very patient, but anyone in his shoes would be exasperated. When they’re in public or in a meeting and Beomgyu is being a menace is one thing, Soobin lets him know then and there that he’s serious.

However, when they’re alone, it’s strangely peaceful. He asks Beomgyu about his day and his mental and emotional state. He hasn’t brought you up for a while now. Tomorrow will make 6 months.

Tomorrow comes, Beomgyu’s indifference is slipping. While everyone else walked on eggshells, Beomgyu coasted through the situation like nothing happened. But somehow, the fact that the boys are becoming more accustomed to not bringing you up is bothering him. He only sees you through screens or your likeness plastered on paper or cardboard. 

The last time you physically entered his vision was during your goodbye stage of your debut promotions. It was a brief glimpse but it was enough to show you weren’t doing well. It was an image burned into his memory. None of the photo shoots could replace it. Even longer before that was the last time the two of you made physical contact. The feeling of holding you in your bed is long gone. Everything about you feels like a ghost now.

“Here he is!” Beomgyu looks up from his phone he wasn’t really looking at anyway to see Soobin walking over with some girl. Beomgyu slides down his mask to present the girl with a tight smile and bow.

“This is Jiwon from Cherry Bullet.” 

“Hello.” Jiwon bows with a bright smile and somehow the common gesture illustrates just how efficient of a person she is. He has no clue what a cherry bullet is but something tells him she’s a stellar idol. But why was she talking to him? Beomgyu looks up at Soobin’s phony wide smile before getting distracted by the rest of his members frantically trying to stop what’s happening. Yeonjun tugs Soobin to the side, jaw jutting forward as he grits something out Beomgyu can’t quite decipher.

“I’ve heard people refer to you as a video game protagonist.” Beomgyu’s attention is ripped away from his members as Jiwon speaks again with a little more hesitance this time. What, does she think he’s a ticking time bomb too?

“What?”

“Your visuals.” She clarifies, seeming a little more relaxed now. “Now that I see you in real life I can say I see it too. I didn’t know before but I think that’s my style.” She looks down, still appearing resolute despite the shy action. 

“I don’t usually do things like this, I value my job and image, but I was just so curious about you. I felt a bit weird asking Soobin to introduce me to you but…” As if she realizes she’s been having a one-sided conversation, she stops herself and looks at Beomgyu expectantly.

Every so often, Beomgyu catches wind of a rumor going around about himself. Whether it’s someone he’s cool with reporting back to him or rookies being way too loud and excitable. He supposes every idol experiences this, and most likely they’re as indifferent as he is. He’s a former thug, he’s gay, he’s fucking an executive, and the biggest one:

He’s a womanizer. 

That one sometimes goes hand in hand with the thug one, but it’s mostly referring to his current idol lifestyle. He doesn’t know how it happened. He hasn’t been in a relationship since Hyesoo. He couldn’t be one if he tried. He lets his emotions get in the way. A part of him wishes it were true. Maybe he would stop craving nails raking into the flesh of his back or bite marks on his bottom lip and shoulders. Maybe he would stop waking up with soiled sheets because he has dreams about being ridden long after he’s already cum. 

Of course now he’s thinking of you, despite chatting it up with Jiwoo– or no, Ji…

You’re probably getting relief every other day with how famous you are now. If you even have the time. In that case, you’re probably locking you and some guy in dressing rooms, closets, anywhere you can get privacy for a quickie. 

But no… you’re not like that. You only let Beomgyu see the deepest, darkest parts of you because you were pushed to do so. Beomgyu’s face goes slack, staring deep into space. You hated him so much that you didn’t care about bearing the ugliest side of you to him. Gnashing your teeth with your shirt a tangled mess over your torso after you gave up on taking it off. Saying the most venomous things Beomgyu’s ever heard while milking him for all he’s got. Even after things cooled a bit, you would let him touch and taste you before you even showered. Opening the door to let him in with stains all over your shirt and leftover makeup from the day before.

“I thought about jumping off the roof at practice while I was on my break.” You had said to him after couch sex. You guys were watching Community and eating ice cream. You were just joking about one of the characters being dumb. Beomgyu had looked at you, completely bewildered.

“Isn’t this what you wanted? What you’ve been waiting for?” He asks incredulously.

You sigh dramatically.

“Yeah, but I’m so fucking hungry. My body aches and my hands shake so much I can barely hold a pen to write my own name. I made a mistake and my instructor cussed at me and called me useless.” You laughed sharply before letting your head droop over to face him. “D’you know they delayed my fucking debut again? Before I thought about offing myself I imagined slitting my manager’s throat and bludgeoning the dance instructor to death and stripping down so I could smear both their blood all over me until it covered every inch of my skin. It was so brief but so so vivid.” You rushed out the words in a crazed fashion and you looked at him with wide eyes. You smile. “Then I imagined you coming in, we had sex and then I strangled you until your eyes bulged out–” You catch your breath and look back at the tv. You looked down at your hand and groaned. Your ice cream had melted over your trembling hand.

“Fuck it–” You rush over to the trash can and chuck it before aggressively wiping off your hand with a tattered kitchen towel. You stomp over to the fridge and take out one of the multiple spoiled bags of salad mix and dump it in the trash to cover up the tossed ice cream. You throw a glance at him.

“Make sure you eat that all or cover your tracks if you throw it away.” You mutter, finding your voice wavering suddenly. You sniffle, slamming down on the couch. You refuse to look over at him as tears break free from your eyes. You feel him move closer to you on the couch and you grit your teeth. His hand curls around the column of your throat but he doesn’t apply pressure.

“I imagined killing my manager once too.”

You peer over at him, he’s looking down, his thick lashes on display. “Except I stabbed him over and over and over until he was an unrecognizable mound of mush. You’re right, it flashed by so fast. I was so sickened by it I pretended it never crossed my mind. Yet here we are…” He finally looks up with a smirk. He finally applies the pressure and you inhale a shuddering breath.

He moves his lips next to your ear, his breath fanning on it making you shiver. “Does it hurt?”

Immediately understanding what he meant you nod feverishly. 

“I’ll distract you.” He answers quickly before swinging his leg over and resting his knee on your thigh. He sits all his weight on your thigh and he squeezes your throat. He repeats it again breathily as he stares down at you wistfully. Your strangled whimpers get him straining against his jeans. 

“I-I…” You find yourself speaking against your will. No… this isn’t how this went. He squeezes again and you moan. You want to clench your thighs but his knee is pinning your leg down. You can’t think, it’s perfect. Still, you find your mouth moving. No! There were no more words exchanged after this. You fucked again and he slept over.

“I-I’m so lonely,” Your voice quivers before you begin sobbing uncontrollably. When you open your eyes and blink away your tears you see a twisted wide grin on his face. His eyes are wild. You tremble in fear, unable to speak anymore. No no no no no no no…

“I fucking knew it.”

You gasp for air, it feels like he’s crushing your windpipe.

“Just a sad, lonely, nobody coming to mooch off of us. Pitiful. You want friends? Huh?” You feel blood rushing up to your face. “Too bad. You don’t deserve love. No one fucking likes you and no one ever will. I’ll do you a favor.”

Almost as if he’s beating you to what you briefly daydreamt about, he applies his other hand and you want to scream. Your ears start ringing and you feel something warm trickle from your ears and all of a sudden there’s a bright light and a piercing noise–

You jolt up from your bed, continuing to sob like you did in your nightmare. You stumble out, nearly tripping as you reach to turn the light on. After doing so you slide down against the wall. Sobbing until your chest hurt and you had no air left in your lungs.

-🖊️⇝

There’s no doubt this song has gotten you some perverse comments and unwanted attention, but it must also get you positive attention too. He’s never seen you hang out with anyone else besides the guys but surely you have an entourage by now. Guys lining up to treat you right. Ones you wouldn’t feel are deplorable enough to casually bring up your murder fantasies to.

“Gyu?”

Jiwon has that confused tone in her voice. God, he tuned her out by accident again. 

“Are you okay? It seems like you’ve been zoning out a lot.” She sounds cautious again. Beomgyu can tell that she’s trying to avoid what might set him off. Did Soobin tell her about you? How he’s just a screaming match waiting to happen?

“To be fair, I’ve had a lot to think about recently.” Beomgyu gives her a look, he knows she’s aware of what he’s referring to. Her awareness is becoming increasingly obvious.

She sits down beside him in the other folding chair backstage. Not dissimilar to when they first met. Even more similar, he notices his members frantically whispering to each other while looking at him.

“Are you still feeling bothered by that?” Jiwon places a hand on his but it doesn’t pull his attention away. Suddenly Kai is casting a fearful look to his right. Beomgyu, already feeling something stirring in his stomach follows his eyeline. 

A pair of black docs accented with black opaque hosiery that almost stop where your red skirt starts. The skirt looks tattered, purposefully so. It’s asymmetrical and overlapped by a black, intricately designed corset top. Your hands that are running through your hair are donned in a red, loosely fitted pair of sheer gloves. Once your arms stop shielding your face and you lift your head, Beomgyu sees your mascara running. His stomach drops.

The stylist scolds you and quickly tries to fix the mess. You don’t react at all, face stone cold. Maybe you just had a bad day, Beomgyu thinks.

It’s cliche, but it never stops shocking you how blinding the stage lights are. They glint sharply, feeling like they’ve sliced your eyes. You shut them, only to quickly open them once you remember people can see you. You force a smile on your face, not caring if it looks like you have a gun to your head. This is all you have left.

The bright light nearly pricks tears back to your eyes but you hold them back just like you hold back the thoughts of the texts your parents sent you this morning. You don’t want to perform today, the last thing you want to do is sing this song that is now ruining relationships. However, now this is truly all you have left. So you flip the switch as soon as the music starts and don’t turn it off until it’s safe to cry again.

You almost melt away on your couch when a knock startles you. You race to the door, thinking it may be your manager. A part of you still expects her to scold you about something she found out. It’s been months but you still fear Beomgyu saying something. A shaking hand pulls open the door.

Myungsoo smirks lazily. Kim Myungsoo. You have to pinch yourself still, despite it being a month now since he first spoke to you. You’re used to people speaking to you first by now. You’d rather they stick around, hang out with you, but that never happens. When he came up and asked you about your song, you were positive you’d probably never see him again. A man you used to have posters of slipping right through your fingers. But then he suddenly stayed put.

“What’re you up to?” He asks before widening his smile. Your heart flutters.

“I was going to take a nap.” You say quietly, very much distracted. Him brushing some of your hair behind your ear doesn’t help.

He waits a beat as he presses his lips into a thin line. “Need help?”

Your heart drums against your rib cage, it almost hurts how much you need it. He’s been teasing you during this exciting yet excruciating month. Hinting that he wants to fuck you but never doing it. You nearly came when he put his hand on your thigh last week.

Now his hand is there again, and it takes every ounce of strength you have to not lift your hips and coax him to where it hurts. He insisted on leaving the television off so you can’t even pretend not to have your full attention on him. 

“C’mere.” He whispers, his voice so warm it melts you. You scoot over and lean your head on his shoulder. You guys stay like that and you’re content– you really are… but it’s becoming increasingly more difficult not to shove his hand down your pants. You don’t know how long it’s been but your body is screaming at you. He should’ve been inside you already, you guys should have been done with your first round actually. Your impatience gets the best of you and you look up at him. He raises his eyebrows questioningly.

“Take a nap. Isn’t that what you said you were doing?”

You laugh dryly, too annoyed to take it back or be mortified at your outward display of your sexual frustration. 

“Is something wrong?” He pouts his lips mockingly. You sit up from him but he pulls you back. 

You let out a strained sigh. “I think I need to be alone to take a nap actually.”

“What, now you’re kicking me out? Did I do something wrong?” His cutesy act is nauseating right now. It pushes you to reveal how you actually feel.

“Aren’t you building us up to be just fuck buddies? Why are you beating around the bush?” You’re desperate, but it’s more than just being horny. At the moment you have no outlet for the overwhelming amounts of anxiety and growing depression. Despite what you had with Beomgyu being… what it was, you remember a wave of serenity after it was all said and done. You bickered as you got your clothes back on but then he left and your body was noticeably less tense. 

“I never said anything about that. You know, you claim you had nothing to do with the song but I’m a little skeptical…” He traces shapes over your bare shoulder and you shrug it off with a scoff before sitting up. The annoyance was building towards being affronted, but you could feel something tingling like a spark crackling inside your stomach. It was back, a feeling you haven’t felt in quite a while. 

“Excuse me?”

“I mean,” Myungsoo shifts toward you, “you’ve been practically begging to be fucked the minute we met. You’re not as subtle as you think.” His faux sympathy melts away once he sees fire glinting in your eyes. He can’t help but smile.

“Shut your fucking mouth.” You spit before mounting his lap and devouring his lips. This is it, there’s no mistaking it. But something’s missing… 

Myungsoo sits there, barely moving his lips against yours. Your hands roam his entire body while his are still by his sides. You pull away, afraid that you were mistaken, but he’s smiling up at you. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand before coaxing you to finish.

“You want it, don’t you?”

And so you strip your shirt off, the fabric pulled away to reveal your eyes blown wide with lust. You capture his lips again and it tastes so sweet. You nearly tremble after finally breaking through that barrier that never seems to leave. You feel powerful for the first time in months as you slide your hands under his shirt. You puff out a frustrated gust of air before sliding off his lap and kneeling before him. You look up at him as you unzip his jeans. He smirks the entire time, lifting his hips to let you slide his jeans and underwear down. He exaggerates the movement of stretching his arms back and resting his hands behind his head. You falter, suddenly self conscious. 

“What’s your deal?”

He answers quickly, somehow knowing exactly what you were referring to. “I dunno… maybe I’m just not feeling it yet.” He sighs, reaching for his flaccid member and stroking it disappointedly. “Look at it, so pitiful.”

You swat his hand away, feeling challenged by his words. You start with his balls, licking in between them before circling your tongue around each one. You glance up at him and his cock twitches. His smirk flickers away briefly to revel pleasure while looking at the determination in your eyes.

You’re just so happy to finally taste someone. The way a cock feels in your hands and on your tongue, so silky and soft. So sinfully beautiful when covered in thick globs of saliva. There is truly nothing like it. But again, there was something missing.

Anywhere you and Myungsoo were together turned into a new spot for you to fuck. You’d give him the eyes which he’d ignore. Then you’d touch him. Kiss him. Whisper in his ear. None of it worked until you were pulling him somewhere secluded. Even when you were at his place or him at yours. It was like pulling teeth. But whatever, foreplay for you and Beomgyu was degrading and threatening each other. This was nothing.

It didn’t stop at foreplay, though. Throughout the entire act he’d be so smug, never reacting to anything. Only small glimpses of pleasure could be caught, but if you blinked you could miss it. You find yourself fighting for his passion. However, it remained one-sided.

-🖊️⇝

Jiwon’s ministrations were soft, almost like they weren’t there. She had a pretty pair of lips but they were like feathers against his.

“Noona…” He whispered, brushing his nose against hers.

“Hm?” She barely pecks his lips. Beomgyu inhales deeply before grabbing the back of Jiwon’s head and deepening the kiss. She makes a muffled noise of surprise but her eyes slowly flutter shut. She melts into the kiss for a few lovely seconds before forcing herself to pull away. She clears her throat before grabbing both of Beomgyu’s hands.

“Let’s take it slow, okay?” Jiwon gives him a pleading look and he only groans inwardly. It’s been a minute, and Jiwon is not a woman you come across too often. And they actually have a relationship he can brag about, someone he could see himself marrying. She’s pristine.

“Why, you didn’t like it?” He smirks and she scoffs.

“I did, but I just think it’s better for us if we don’t rush things.”

Beomgyu tries really hard to hide the cynicism threatening to rear its ugly head. Jiwon was finally not walking on eggshells around him. He thinks long and hard about what he’s going to say and panics when he thinks he’s said the wrong thing.

“Fine. But a deeper kiss won’t kill us.” Beomgyu brushes away his train of thought before smiling. 

It wasn’t long before Beomgyu and Jiwon made it official, only telling people they trusted and not risking visiting each other anywhere but their dorms. Even that takes several days of planning. 

“How does it work? We’ve never been.” Taehyun says, leaning forward in anticipation.

Jiwon takes a moment to swallow her sip of tea and to think. 

“This will be my second survival style show. I think that they’re not dissimilar to being a trainee, honestly. The ferocity of everyone around you is still there. This new one is a little less intense, though. I guess the stakes aren’t as high.” Once she finishes talking she takes another delicate sip of her tea. Beomgyu watches intently, admiring how elegant she is. It’s so effortless for her. She continues her mature conversation with his members but Beomgyu is completely checked out. There’s a lingering sour feeling prodding at him as he watches her. It makes his smile flicker away.

“Right Beomgyu?” Soobin elbows him and Beomgyu is finally broken out of his daze.

All Beomgyu’s plugs slowly enter each outlet. “Huh?”

“You were so social during our trainee days, it was hard for people to hate you.” Soobin says, making everyone chuckle.

“Even when they saw you as competition, no dice.” Yeonjun chimes in. It was fun to reminisce until it wasn’t. He was smiling again and it seemed to immediately go away the longer he thought about it. He’s been told this. That he’s unhateable. He’s too silly, a loveable brat. But you managed.

“He could never do wrong. We make a mistake and it would start a fight. Beomgyu would do the same thing and they would just brush it off.” Kai adds, and everyone laughs again except for Beomgyu who’s stuck staring in space, his water bottle static in his hands.

“That’s so true!” Someone gushes through the laughter. 

“Funny how things change, huh?”

The room goes silent as Beomgyu takes a swig from his bottle.

Jiwon looks panicked before laughing nervously. “What do you mean? I’ve never laughed this much before meeting you, and the girls love when you come over. Not to mention having four members who love you. That’s rare, you know.”  

Soobin claps before pointing at Jiwon. “That’s exactly right!”

“What else could you need?” Jiwon rubs Beomgyu’s back, making him realize that she’s not miles away from him like it feels she is. She’s right. So everything will eventually get better.

-🖊️⇝

 “Let’s go to a karaoke bar next!” Eunchae ugly laughs in excitement, already running ahead with Kazuha chasing behind her. Yunjin loops her arm with Sakura before following the younger members, engaged in a personal conversation. On instinct, Chaewon follows close by, yelling for the younger members to slow down.

The five of them have a warm dynamic that’s so enticing. Their figures growing further, soaked in the various vibrant hues of neon signs. It was like a scene out of films you watch alone on your couch. It’s right there.

Freezing as if something dawned on her, Chaewon swiftly turns around to face you.

“You coming?” She shouts.

“Ugh, she never comes. Let’s just go.” Yunjin whines dismissively. Chaewon looks conflicted as her gaze switches between you both. You stretch your mouth into a thin line. 

“I have to get home. I’ll text you.” 

Chaewon wants to protest but when she looks back at her members, they’re much farther away than she thought. Then when she looks back at you, you’re already gone.

From the corner of the bar, you send texts back and forth. Your head slips off your fist and nearly slams into the table before you stop it. Just an hour before, you were here with a group of people. The memory feels like particles of dust floating through the air that you try to clutch in your fist.

“Are you okay? I think you’ve had enough for the night. Call a cab and go home.” The stern, motherly tone of the owner doesn’t offend you at all. You don’t get to answer before she’s off sweeping the other end of the restaurant. You let your body completely slump over, resting your upper body on the table.

A tsk barely pricks at your foggy brain. “What a mess.” Myungsoo sighs.

“Take me home oppa.” You giggle with your cheek squished against the table. He raises his brow at you and you raise your arms. He groans before picking you up from the table and holding you bridal style. You rest your head against his chest, feeling tired against his warmth. You’re just about to drift off to sleep when he’s placing you into the passenger’s seat. You whine in protest but he’s already shutting the door. The gentle car ride makes your lids heavier until they shut completely.

Myungsoo picking you up again has your eyes slowly lifting open. You watch his face as he carries you. His body heat is intoxicating. You can’t stop your eyes from flickering down at his lips. You don’t want to mount him like you usually do, you feel something deeper. Maybe there was a reason he took so long to let you have him at first. 

He lets you down to unlock his door before taking you by the hand and leading you in. You’re cuddling on his bed, still unable to take your eyes off him. He’s caught you a couple times and all he does is smile. This time his eyes linger on yours before whispering for you to come closer. You’re moving as soon as he says to, connecting your lips to his hungrily. 

He smells and tastes so good. You trace your tongue over his bottom lip before pecking his mouth. He grins, letting out a warm, chesty chuckle.

“I love when you guys get like this.”

You laugh, a little confused. You peck him again. “You guys?”

He caresses the back of your neck before pulling you in for a deeper kiss. Your breath picks up as you climb on top of him, smashing your mouths together. He pulls away and whispers breathily in your ear.

“You have that twinkle in your eye. You need me. All you think of is me.” 

You shudder, grinding down on him. You trail kisses all over his neck as he continues.

“If I were to leave, you’d be devastated.”

The thought makes you whimper, nipping at his neck. He hisses. “Stop it.” You say in a tiny voice. You feel his bulge grow more prominent.

“You’d do anything to please me, make me stay.” He moans through the sentence, bucking up into you. Your heart starts thumping, and the longer this goes on the more you realize it’s not because you’re turned on. You lift from him.

“I said stop.” Your face is hot. It’s right, he’s completely correct. You want to have your hands and lips on him at all times and your heart is constantly clenched by the fear that he doesn’t really care about you.

“What? Should I make you bleed instead?” He laughs.

Your chest constricts, your breath getting caught in your throat. Your lips tremble as you quirk your jaw trying to curb the anger bubbling up. 

“What did you just say?”

“Babe.” He sits up on his forearms. “I’m just trying to rile you up a little bit. I’m just having a little fun.” He looks you up and down, he’s getting harder underneath you.

Right… this is something you’re familiar with. Something that could lead to even a moment of serenity. But it’s never that way with him. His eyes judge you and urge you to satisfy him. He doesn’t even have to say a word and you’re scrambling to make sure he’s pleased. You’re giving your all as he lazily lies beneath you, enjoying the show. Exuding passion with nothing in return is exhausting, that exhaustion finally dawning on you.

“Well I’m not.” You say before swinging your leg back over him. You slide out of his bed and start putting your clothes back on.

“Where are you going? Come on, you don’t actually want to leave.” He barely moves, just shifting a little to the side.

“I just need a little space for the night.” You hurriedly slip into your pants, wanting to leave instead of having this conversation.

“No you don’t. You need company like you need water.” His velvety smooth voice that once coaxed you into giving your all to him is gone. What’s left is harsh yet dismissive.

“You don’t know what I need, Myungsoo.” You shoot back, throwing your shirt on the bed.

“I know, everyone knows. You’re so lonely you walk around everywhere like a lost puppy but run away whenever anyone tries to get to know you. There’s a reason you were texting me and not your friends you were just drinking with. I’m all you have. So don’t be stupid.” 

Just like that, the harsh lines in his face melt away and he’s back to smirking, patting the space beside him in the bed.

Is this what you deserve? They say you shouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth. And he’s right. He’s so right, again. Maybe you should just sink into the warmth and turn your brain off. Turn on the switch to perform.

However, as you think, emotions build inside you. It feels like pressure behind your skull threatening to pop. Tears abruptly start gushing down your face as you grab your shirt and rush out of the door. You can’t stop the ugly noises from leaving you as you rush home in the cold night air. 

By the time you’re in your own bed, your face and head hurt from the intensity of your sobs. There are no tears left as you continue to sob. It didn’t work. You were supposed to use him as an opportunity to take away some stress but somehow it’s worse. There’s nothing you can do. You’ll just have to live with this alone. Forever.

CRACK

-🖊️⇝

“I was so close but I didn’t make it.” Jiwon sighs dejectedly. 

“I don’t know what they don’t see in you! I think you’re a great performer.” Kai laments.

“You did a great job.” Beomgyu rubs her hand and she instantly smiles. 

“Thanks. And at the end of the day I still have my group and you guys.” Everyone gushes at her response. 

Beomgyu’s mind wanders to the place it has been going frequently these days. He wonders what you’re doing. What it would be like if you were still friends with the members. If he didn’t make you cry. Would you be smiling as widely as Jiwon is even after failing?

“Look who’s lost in thought again.” Soobin pats Beomgyu’s back but he’s stuck. He’s nestled deep within thoughts of you.

“You know you could talk to us about anything, right?” Jiwon moves her hand to caress his. No. He doesn’t know this. In fact, he knows it’s not true.

“Why do you think she was crying that day?” Beomgyu doesn’t look up but the table goes quiet. The tension is lathered thick over the air. Jiwon laughs nervously.

“Wait, Beomgyu weren’t you just talking about–” Jiwon attempts to change the topic.

“You would think she’d be really happy right now.” He continues. 

“Let’s not talk about this–” Jiwon tries but Beomgyu turns toward her.

“Didn’t you say I could talk to you guys about anything?”

“But Beomgyu… talking about her is only going to make you more upset.” Jiwon lowers her voice, going back to how cautious she was when they first met.

“Do I look upset? You guys are the ones acting like there’s a gun to your heads when she’s brought up.” Beomgyu resumes eating while everyone else is still frozen.

“Gyu. It’s because you should let go of her. It’ll be better for you.” Her hand that was once soothing on his now felt like an owner trying to calm their dog after someone knocked on the door. 

“You don’t know what’s better for me.” Beomgyu grumbles.

Soobin stands abruptly. “Beomgyu, can we talk in the kitchen?”

“Gladly.” Beomgyu immediately follows the taller male out the dining room and down the hall. Before Soobin could start scolding him he had things to get off his chest first.

“Why did you introduce me to her in the first place?”

“She asked to meet you. She was interested.” Soobin expresses annoyedly.

“I’m sure plenty of girls have done that, why did you decide to do so for her.” Beomgyu probes.

“Because I knew her and trusted her.”

“Trusted her to be able to handle a project.” Beomgyu rushes out. And before Soobin can deny anything he’s rushing toward him with a finger pointed at his face. “I don’t need to be fixed.”

Soobin sighs, uneasy about how this conversation may go. 

“You’re not broken, you’re hurt. Everyone gets hurt, Beomgyu. There’s nothing wrong with accepting help. We’re just trying to help you move on-”

“I don’t want to move on! You guys were so fucking anal about how I treated her and now you just pretend she doesn’t exist?” Beomgyu shouts furiously.

Soobin decides it’s better to just rip off the bandaid. There's no changing the truth. 

“She’s gone. It’s been half a year and she’s made no attempt to reach out to any of us. It’s clear that part of our lives is over. Beomgyu, you need to focus on yourself right now. We can get through this together.” Soobin tries to coax a reasonable reaction out of Beomgyu but it doesn’t seem to be working. He’s only getting more worked up.

“Stop. Stop.” Beomgyu shoves his hands into his hair before gritting his teeth. “I’m so sick of everyone shoving me under a telescope. At least she never pried.”

“Are you insinuating that what you guys had was anything remotely healthy? Continuously hanging around someone who you despise that much isn’t good for either of you. I saw the marks all over her body.”

Beomgyu sees red, he’s grabbing Soobin’s collar before he could think it through.

“You shut your fucking mouth. You don’t know what you’re talking about. You don’t know her like I do.” Beomgyu shoves him away, his glare hot like lava as he walks out of the room. Heading toward his bedroom he doesn’t see Jiwon on the other side of the doorway. She bites her fist as a tear trickles down her cheek. 

“When’s Beomgyu coming over next?” Mao asks, switching to kneel on the couch toward a stone faced Jiwon. Jiwon takes in a quick breath, checking one last time if this is the right move.

“I don’t think he is.”

Mao and the other girls in the room all make a noise in surprise and crowd around Jiwon on the couch. “What the hell happened?” Haeyoon asked incredulously.

Jiwon lets out a small derisive laugh to pair with a tiny smirk as she drops her head. “He’s hung up over his ex.”

The girls all switch between comforting her and cursing him. 

“Who’s the ex?” Chaerin asks angrily.

Jiwon thinks on it again. Fuck it.

“Do you know that song Strawberry Jam?”

-🖊️⇝

Something is unresolved. That much is clear as you both lay in your own rooms, tear stains on each of your pillows. And as long as it stays unresolved, you both will be unable to be loved. 

You’ve denied four invitations to hang out with Chaewon, and you’re surprised she still asks. This month is a free schedule for you to rest after your song promotions are over.

Beomgyu either plays video games until his eyes are dry or lies in bed scrolling through social media. His members pop in to give him food.

Your stomach twists painfully as you watch tv in bed. The colors dance around blurrily as your eyes start to water again.

A month didn’t feel like a month, but you lost track of your days so it makes sense when your manager comes into your room. 

“What’s that smell? Get up and take a shower. We’re going to go over this month’s schedule.” She shuts the door, trusting that you’ll follow orders. Even she used to be kinder to you. What’s the use of attempting to start relationships when they don’t work out. Even your own parents don’t talk to you anymore. You laugh hoarsely. The laughing grows louder and louder until you’re cackling.

You cackle in the shower as well. Is this what happens after you’ve cried so much tears don’t come out anymore?

Beomgyu regretted chasing away Jiwon the minute he did it. She had a similar hurt expression to you when he yelled at her to get out of his room. Look at how each of his relationships ended. Why the hell would Hyesoo stay with a guy like him. Beomgyu’s lip quivers before he’s crying into his pillow again.

You both carry out what’s scheduled for you numbly, so checked out neither of you can add anything valuable to any conversation. 

“Remember how you signed up to be an MC? Well you got accepted! You can continue submitting songs for your next comeback but this should be your priority for now.” One of the women at the table inform you. Fuck, you did do that, didn’t you.

It turns out it’s pretty easy. Just smile and read your lines. It’s much easier to turn your MC switch on, it seems. You had even gotten comfortable with it. Your co-MC is friendly. Formal, but friendly. Everything was working out.

You lift up your cue card in the silence of your empty room.

“And here’s TXT with their new comeback...” Your enthusiasm wanes when you think about standing in a room with him again.

CRACK

It’ll be fine, just flip the switch.

You can feel that he’s there, everyone can feel the tension. The you that was involved with him is switched off right now. Right now you’re conducting an interview. 

Beomgyu slowly fades to the background as you watch the other members, remembering the good memories you had together. Soobin does most of the talking which makes your chest unwittingly constrict. After this you’ll be all alone again.

The makeup artist finally gets done touching up your makeup and you get a moment to stew. Only a short moment as the other MC approaches. 

“Hey, are you okay?” 

The simple question forces your switch off. The two of you made eye contact at the end of the interview, and for some reason a whirlwind of emotions threatened to escape you. You’re not okay.

“It’s just, I know you have a past with Beomgyu.”

“Yeah–” You look up at him as your brain fog slowly dissipates. “What did you say?”

“I heard that you wrote Strawberry Jam about him and I…”

Everything silently shatters, the pieces remaining all clattering to the floor.

“Look at the back of her neck.” You whip your head around to see two idols whispering before looking shocked and scurrying away. You send a shaky hand to the back of your neck to cover it. Doing so makes your sleeve drop and reveal scratches on your arm. You begin hyperventilating as you scan your surroundings. Multiple people, staff, idols, everybody is whispering and looking at you. You block out the other MC yelling after you as you run out of the room.

Was it Myungsoo? Was he retaliating because you left him? You never mentioned Beomgyu though. No… it could only be one person. Tears stream down your face as you hunt for their dressing room. You pass a mirror on the way and get stuck staring at your void of a face. Only a pair of reddened, crazed eyes stare back. You refocus on your hunt and finally find their door. You swing it open and rush toward Beomgyu in a frenzy.

As you enter, everything around Beomgyu is a blur. The staff looking shocked, Yeonjun and Soobin jumping up to restrain you. And you. Your makeup is completely ruined with a look of utter fury on your face as you cock your hand back before striking him across the face. Time goes back to normal as the staff gasp. Beomgyu places a hand over his stinging flesh. It prickles, burning through his numbness. The initial impact of the slap was like a crack of lightning striking him. He feels a blur of emotions threatening to pour out.

“Why the fuck would you do that?! What the fuck is wrong with you?!” Yeonjun and Soobin had successfully restrained you but you thrash to get free. You curse and swipe at Beomgyu, yelling incoherently. Beomgyu slowly stands up and approaches you. Taehyun has to join and hold each arm when Beomgyu is in reaching distance.

“Let me go!” You shriek like a raging animal, trying to rip yourself free. You kick at him, your heels striking his shins and sending a piercing bout of pain up his legs.

“What the fuck are you doing?! Get away from her!” Soobin yells.

“Let her go.” Beomgyu yells over the commotion.

“What?! Why would–” Yeonjun starts but Soobin lets go.

“Just do it. Let him have her.” Soobin spits, scowling at the younger male whose eyes are still trained on you. Taehyun and Yeonjun let you go and you immediately slap him again.

“You just couldn’t help trying to ruin my career again? Do you really hate me that much after I gave you what you wanted?” You whisper shakily, your eyes wild as they take him in.

“Beomgyu… what did you do?” Kai’s voice is weak behind him.

Beomgyu takes your arm and pulls you out of the room. You yell for him to let you go and strike his arm. Each hit is like a jolt of clarity for Beomgyu, the pain an afterthought. He pulls you into an empty room where you begin banging your fists against his chest. He stumbles backward, slamming you against the door and shutting it. 

He restrains your arms, squeezing them to keep them steady as you thrash again. “Why?! What else do you want?!”

“What did I do, he asked.” Beomgyu laughed. He throws his head against the door and laughs harder. You look on in utter disbelief.

“Is this funny to you?”

“What’s funny is that I didn’t do anything and somehow shit has still hit the fan. My members are questioning me again, you’re fucking hitting me again.” The amusement Beomgyu was expressing earlier is completely gone as he starts his rant.

“You told everyone that my song was about us!” 

“I didn’t!” He shouts back.

“Then who did Beomgyu?!”

“I’m not the only person who knew about us.” Beomgyu yanks you closer by your arms. You finally manage to free your arms and you drive a finger into his chest.

“But you are the only person who has proven to be malicious enough to do something like this.”

“How do you know it’s not one of your friends? You’re all big and famous now, maybe you shouldn’t go around telling anyone your secrets.”

“I don’t have any friends anymore, Beomgyu!” You shout, your voice cracking as a lone tear rolls down your cheek. “Remember? You drove me away from my only friends. I didn’t go “whoring around Enhypen”. I have no one.” The last of the sentence shreds your throat. You run your hands over your face before pointing at him again. “I’m going through enough and you choose to fuck with me. This is all I have Beomgyu!” You pound both your fists against his chest and again you’re moving in slow motion. He can see it in your eyes. In how hard you clench your teeth. He can feel it each time you strike him.

“Why would you do it?” You sob.

“Slap me.”

You gape at him, chest rising and falling violently as you make up for the amount of air you lost. 

Beomgyu is the one getting riled up now. “Do it. Slap me. Fucking do it–”

You strike him hard enough that the corner of his mouth splits. 

“Do it again.”

Your hand is impacting his cheek as soon as his sentence ends. 

“Again.”

You’re both breathing frantically as you slap him again and another time before he can even ask. He grabs your forearm and yanks you closer. “Do it. I know what you want. Fucking ruin me.”

You grab his face and pull his mouth to smash against yours. He lifts you up and you immediately wrap your legs around him. The taste of his tongue, his blood, it lights you up. All your emotions come flooding out as you grip his shirt and tear it apart. Your noses bump harshly against each other as he repositions you against the wall.

You can barely act on your urges with how intense Beomgyu’s actions are. Every ounce of passion you exude is given back to you tenfold. Within moments of letting you down you are both bare for each other.

Beomgyu’s skin being exposed is perfect for your nails dying to sink into it. You reach your arms under his that cage against the wall and slowly rake your fingernails down his back. He winces, letting out small noises of pain. The anger and sadness inside you has hit its peak. You’re so fucking angry, but the pained look on his face hurts.

You want to do something about your anger, but you still retract your hands and sink against the wall. Beomgyu looks at you confused before drawing closer. You shy away from him, whimpering as the bitter truth sets in.

Beomgyu didn’t force you to stop talking to Soobin. Beomgyu didn’t force you to ghost your friends. Beomgyu isn’t the cause of your loneliness. 

It’s you.

He reaches out to touch you but you push him away. His saddened eyes make you ache which in turn makes you more angry. But you can no longer bring yourself to hit him. A surge of rage sends your own hand across your face. The sting is distracting, it’s something. You strike your other cheek harder and Beomgyu stops you before you can do it again. 

“No.” He takes your hand and pulls it near his face. Your eyes follow your hand as it closes in on him. 

“Hit me.”

Your eyes move slowly towards his lips as they form the words, then up to his dark, big eyes. They’re swarming with depth and emotion. You take in his entire face, reddened by your hand. Lips swollen from your mouth. Hair tousled in the chaos. You see him.

You thought tears would be a rare occurrence by now, but there goes another, skitting from your cheekbone to the floor. You smile bitterly.

“I can’t.”

The gleam of your tears brings life to your otherwise tired eyes. He wants to question why, to wallow in self pity with his own delusional reasoning. But no, in your face is all the answers he needs. The same reason he hasn’t hurt you once this entire time. You sigh, letting your head fall, your eyes darkening as they close.

“I don’t know what else to do.” You express weakly.

Seeing you tremble silently makes his previous attempts to pin his resentment on you seem absurd. Beomgyu lets go of your hand.

“I don’t either.”

It’s like clarity washes over the both of you at the same time as you both take in your surroundings. Assess the situation. You shake your head.

“Then what are we doing here?” You brush past him in pursuit of your clothing, pick up each article scattered around the room. 

“It’s just like we said. We don’t know what else to do.” He says behind you.

You slow your collection as you let his words sink in. You’ve exhausted every other option. Therapy, rough sex, songwriting, diaries, crying. Then you feel his warmth behind you. Your eyes ease closed as you melt into him. Your mind goes blank and for the first time in a long time, it’s not out of force or sheer exhaustion. Both of you relax into one another. You’d have to go out eventually, explain yourself and face scrutiny. Risk people’s opinions of you degrading. There’s nothing to worry about here. You’ve already seen the worst of each other. There’s nothing to guard in fear.

You turn around to face him. He looks different. Softer. Unintimidating. He could say the same for you. You climb on top of him, shivering as his member brushes against your mound. Your lips meld together like softening butter. They glide, becoming slick with the other’s saliva. 

He glides his nose up the side of your face as he slips inside you. Both of your mouths hang agape as he slots all the way in. He’s buried deep inside you, no space left unfilled. The two of you substitute kissing for pressing your heads together, feeling every part of the other's skin. You trail your tongue across his jaw before kissing up to his ear. Every sense is filled with Beomgyu to the point where you can’t think of anything else. His makeup, his cologne, his body wash, his deodorant, his lotion, his taste, his touch, him, him, him. Your heart swells as he showers you with as much attention as you give him and then some.

Your hips move in unison, grinding together. Once you kiss again there’s no longer any space in between. Disconnecting sends slightly louder pants and moans into the air as you both start moving faster. You’ve never heard him moan like this. It’s so unrestrained and vulnerable, exposing his eagerness just as much as his hands squeezing your ass does. 

You find you feel full in more ways than one right now. He saw you at your ugliest and he’s still here right now holding you like he never plans to let go. As if reading your thoughts, he clutches you even closer. You feel a light, bubbly laugh float from your chest as your legs start to tingle. You gasp as you climax with a stutter of your hips. Your movements slow ‘til they’ve almost ceased as you drowsily rest your forehead on his. The two of you rock back and forth in the only clean circle of the room amongst the chaos.

A moment of serenity is all the two of you are granted when you hear a knock at the door. Soobin comes in, looking disappointed as he regards you both.

“Are you done? Everyone’s looking for you.”

-🖊️⇝

Beomgyu got an earful for disappearing that day. You could’ve gotten into an ungodly amount of trouble if the other MC didn’t stick up for you. He felt responsible and was beyond apologetic. You forgave him, of course. He did nothing wrong. Also, you've come to terms with the fact that you know you have nothing to do with that song. It's someone else's demo you got paid to perform. It doesn't define you.

“Hey, are you coming?” Chaewon asks. You go to answer but notice a couple of conflicted looks from her members. A quick thought that you “better not annoy them” crosses your mind. You imagine tagging along and making things awkward and it makes you wince.

“No, I-”

“Come on.” Yunjin says dismissively and pulls you by the arm to follow them to their next location. 

You sit stiffly on the couch, clapping along to Eunchae’s loud singing as everyone around you cheers.

She concludes with two bows and a loud ‘thank you’ into the microphone. 

“Go ahead and pick who’s next.” Yunjin yells gleefully. You’re too distracted to realize Yunjin’s hand is hovering over you with her finger extended down.

“Hmm…” Eunchae pretends to think about it for a comically short amount of time before yelling out your name. Your confusion is cut short by a cheering Yunjin and Chaewon pushing you toward the screen. She hands you the mic which you take hesitantly. Once they're seated again they initiate a chant.

“Sing! Sing! Sing! Sing!”

Your brain does the honors of going over all of the embarrassing ways this could play out. Regardless of that, you’re already singing. It’s either that or running out the door, and the latter would take much more effort and explaining. Besides, what’s the worst that could happen?

You finish to cheers and applause and you bow in response.

-🖊️⇝

Things in the dorm have gone back to being tense. Soobin isn’t giving Beomgyu the silent treatment this time, but it’s clear he’s disappointed. Everyone is under the impression that they hooked up again only to go back to hating each other. Mostly because you haven’t come over yet. Beomgyu was giving it some time, but now he’s ready.

“Stop acting weird.” He sighs, rubbing his nose bridge. “I did have sex with her. No, the song isn’t about me. We don’t hate each other. You guys can stop tiptoeing around me now.”

The members visibly untense, but only to express confusion.

“Where is she then?” Soobin speaks up, casting a stern look his way.

“Why does her being here matter?” Beomgyu finally gets to ask.

“Remember when you called me naive for having faith in her?” Soobin grits his teeth. “After all that she’s still-”

You cautiously click open the door, slowly revealing your apologetic expression. “I was going to wait but I didn’t…” You stop when you see the hardened look on Soobin’s face upon seeing you. “H-hello everyone.”

Kai stands up and marches over to give you a crushing hug. The gesture makes your heart flutter.

“You didn’t even call.” He pouts.

“I’m sorry.” You squeeze out. Taehyun and Yeonjun come next. Taehyun gives you a side hug while Yeonjun pats your back.

“Welcome back.” Yeonjun says with a wide smile.

The moment is interrupted by Soobin walking out of the living room into his own and slamming the door. You immediately follow after him, an action that Beomgyu watches carefully. Of course he notices a sharp pain in his chest, but he sits with it. Studies it. You could be chasing after him to reveal your true feelings and this time he may accept. He doesn’t want that. It even makes him a little bitter, but he can’t stop you. He can say whatever ugly words come to his mind to try and scare you away, but this time they may not work. And you’re not doing anything wrong. Him cuddling with you and drifting off to sleep in your bed doesn’t mean you’re dating. Moreover, you’re not Hyesoo. He’s seen every part of you by now. Regardless of everything, he’ll still be happy to have you in his life.

“You have sex with me and then never show your face again? Do you know how that feels?” Soobin explains desperately with tears springing to his eyes. “I knew the sex was meaningless, that was the whole point, but for you to up and leave afterward like I was just some random guy really sucks.”

“I-I didn’t want to leave, Soobin. I was too mortified to show my face again.”

“Because that’s what you guys being together does! You break down each other and then turn to breaking down those around you just trying to help. It’s selfish for you to waltz back in here like everything is back to normal.”

“It’s not.” You state confidently. “Everything is very, very different now. I can’t go into public spaces without being recognized, I have more people around me than ever before, and Beomgyu and I don’t hate each other anymore. You said it yourself, we’re similar and we wreck everything around us. We do it to ourselves. Beomgyu realizes it now and I certainly do. I don’t want things to go back to normal, because that version of me is gone.” The more you speak, the easier the words come. You smile hopefully at Soobin.

“I’m moving on with or without you, but I’d really love it if you entered this new chapter with me.”

You grab both of Soobin’s hands as his head droops. He’s silent for what feels like decades passing you by. Then he squeezes your hands.

Epilogue 🖊️⇝

Chaewon: you should apologize.

You pass the phone to Beomgyu in the midst of his “advice”. He crosses one arm over his chest as he reads the very short text for an inappropriate amount of time.

“But you didn’t know, right?”

“That doesn’t mean I’m not in the wrong.” You groan, snatching your phone back. He snatches it right back and starts texting. 

“Hey!” You go to take your phone back but he leans away further and further until his body is caging the phone against the couch. You climb over him and bite his shoulder but he just laughs as the text is sent. You frantically snatch your phone back and look in horror.

You: tomorrow at my house 6pm;’2[21

“What the fuck! Beomgyu!” You shriek.

“You didn’t know, therefore you didn’t intentionally do anything wrong. But you did hurt Kazuha’s feelings and the members are very mad at you.” He explains calmly, smacking on his food. 

“Thanks for reminding me of my unfortunate situation.” You deadpan.

“You were worried they think you're a horrible person. Boom–” He motions at your phone with his sandwich. “You can fix that. You’re worried you’re actually a horrible person, but you had no intentions of hurting anyone.”

“Yeah but you weren’t there. The way I said it was so insensitive in context and the look on Zuha’s face,” You whimper and hide your face in your hands.

“You didn’t hurt her on purpose.” The finality in Beomgyu’s voice makes you look up at him. His face is serious. “I’m certain of it. Now come here.” He pats his lap and you’re eagerly scooting over to lay your head on his lap. He sighs.

“You idiot.” He brushes away the tear falling down your face. “Why don’t you listen to me?”

“Hurting someone as sweet as her is pure evil.” You whisper.

“I don’t have to know you to say that an evil person wouldn’t be this remorseful. But knowing you, you’re not the type of person to go into an exchange ready to hurt an innocent person. You’re the type of person who sits quietly thinking about what you could say that will make people laugh the loudest and smile the brightest. I’m very sure that’s what you were thinking that day as well.” He voices his thoughts as he strokes your hair, stroking your cheek with his thumb. He looks down to meet your gaze and you feel the singe of a fire starting in your heart. He smiles lazily and it's the cherry on top of the artwork that is his face. 

You slowly lean up before capturing his lips. It’s slow, tender, loaded. Kissing him after all the chaos feels like lying in a field of dandelions, the seeds breaking away and dancing in the wind. His skin feels like the warm hug of sunlight. His voice is like birds singing. You pull away and look at him in awe. He seems to be mirroring your feelings if his drunken expression is anything to go by. He shuts his mouth and brushes the back of his hand against your cheek.

“You’re kissing me outside of us having sex?” Beomgyu sports exaggerated shock and presses his palm to your forehead. His antics force a giggle out of you. “Are you sick?!”

You swipe his hand away, unable to ignore the burning light in your chest as you look at him and he silently looks back. You lean in and kiss him one last time before risking it all once you realize what this feeling is.

“I think I love you.” You whisper, looking desperately at his face to catch anything unsavory. His smile drops, looking genuinely shocked this time. He grabs your face and pecks your lips over and over before moving to the other parts of your face until you're stuck in a fit of laughter. He pulls away with adoration in his eyes.

“I loved you first.”

#txt #beomgyu #one way #kpop #smut #angst #TO FREEDOM!!111!

[theerurishipper]

Zuko Did Not Abuse Azula in the Comics.

I'm gonna do it. After a lifetime of never posting any of my own posts in the ATLA fandom, I am gonna talk about this. "This" is the arguments sprung forth that Zuko abused Azula in the comics, more specifically The Search. Now, I don't think the comics are well-written, but what they don't do in any capacity is paint a picture of Zuko abusing Azula. And despite this, I've seen several claims about how Zuko did in fact, treat Azula cruelly and horribly and let the Gaang abuse her happily. And I might not like the comics, but that's just flat out wrong. So, I'm writing a rebuttal to all the arguments I've seen on the topic, at least, as many as I can remember. What I'll do is quote an argument and use evidence from the comic to rebut it, and hopefully people will stop claiming that the abuse victim treated his abusive sister the way she treated him all their lives. So yeah.

To be clear, I'm not making this post to hate on Azula's character or something. I'm not making this to start a fight, or to make people angry. I mostly made this to express my own frustrations about some things I've seen.

And it's probably a bit too late for this, but if you think Zuko did abuse Azula or whatever, you're entitled to your opinion, but please don't interact with this post. I've tagged the anti tags and placed my text under a read more, so y'all don't have to read it.

This gets long, so under the cut it is. Let's go.

Argument: "Azula is protesting being treated cruelly and Ty Lee chi-blocks her for no reason at all! And Zuko doesn't protest this cruel treatment of his sister! He's abusing her!"

Ty Lee chi-blocked Azula after Azula attacked Zuko and displayed violent behavior. On top of being Zuko's bodyguard and therefor responsible for protecting him, Ty Lee also has a great fear of Azula because of how Azula treated her in their past. Zuko tries to be kind to his sister by bringing her tea and she attacks him. Furthermore, Zuko also protests her being chi-blocked even after she does so. He tries to treat her with dignity and be kind to her but Azula herself is the one to sneer at his efforts.

Argument: "Zuko is awful for leaving Azula alone with her abuser! He doesn't care about her well-being!"

I agree that Azula shouldn't be allowed to talk to Ozai. Ozai abused Azula as well, and contact with him would only cause her more problems. However, Zuko doesn't know this. He himself is an abuse victim, and all he's seen his whole life is that Ozai favored Azula over him. And Azula used this to place herself in a position of power over him. She's always tried to drive it into his head that their father liked her better than him and that he was worthless in Ozai's eyes. Naturally, Zuko assumes (incorrectly) that Azula has some kind of special relationship with Ozai that he doesn't. He knows Azula has not had a perfect and healthy life, but he is not privy to the details. He doesn't know what's going on in her head. This is because he is not a mind reader, and she refuses to let herself be vulnerable in front of him because she believes she is better than him and that vulnerability is a weakness.

Even in the comic, she expresses no hatred or fear of her father, and doesn't indicate to Zuko that she does not want to be alone with him. She shouldn't have contact with him, of course, but she refuses to admit that her father is responsible for how she is now and that he has hurt her. She blames her mother, she blames Zuko and his friends, she blames Mai and Ty Lee, but she refuses to blame herself and most importantly, she refuses to blame Ozai. She's still behaving the way he wants, attacking Zuko and, if I may bring up Smoke and Shadow even if it pains me, she's trying to get Zuko to be like Ozai. She herself expresses the desire to speak with Ozai in the panels above, so if she herself hasn't acknowledged the way Ozai has hurt her or how he has abused her, and if she is still under the belief that he loves her, how is Zuko supposed to know any better? He's not doing anything he thinks might hurt her because she hasn't expressed that it hurts her, because she herself doesn't believe it does. And yes, it does hurt her, but it's not Zuko's fault for not being able to magically comprehend that, especially since she has spent her life driving the opposite message into his head, that Ozai favors her and not him.

Argument: "Zuko threw his little sister in an institution! He didn't care for her or for what became of her! He just left her in there to rot!"

What should he have done then? How should he have dealt with her? Azula may be traumatized and in need of help, but Zuko isn't the one to give that to her. He doesn't owe that to her after everything she's done to him, and he doesn't have the capability to help her himself. Azula has always expressed hatred for her brother and has been very clear about the fact that she considers him weak. He tries to help her and she rebuffs him continuously, choosing to attack him instead. She still wants him dead, and she has still not expressed any opposition to the things she learnt from Ozai. She still considers her brother a failure, she still hasn't mentioned that she thinks genocide is wrong, and she certainly doesn't think she's to blame for anything.

Given free reign, she attacks Zuko and manipulates him, and she is obviously too dangerous to let loose. The most Zuko can do is get her the help she needs, which is what he tried to do. I find the whole way these comics deal with mental health distasteful, especially with regard to Azula, but that's a flaw in the writing, not the characters. Zuko could have thrown her in prison like Ozai, since she was complicit in his war efforts. But he recognized that she needed help and tried to provide it for her. I wonder what anyone who criticizes Zuko for this would suggest he should do instead. Keep in mind that Azula is an imperialist and staunch supporter of Ozai's quest to take over the world. She also attempted to kill Zuko multiple times and has expressed no remorse for it.

And also, there is the argument that the institution is abusive and that Azula was mistreated in there. And where is the evidence of that? No, seriously, I went and looked through the comics, and I didn't see any evidence that Azula was abused in there. It seems to be a headcanon. Of course Azula resents being put in an institution, especially when she believes nothing is wrong with her and since she so adamantly refuses to let anyone help her. But nowhere does she mention that she hates it because the people there hurt her or something. And where else could she get help for her problems? Should Zuko take on a second job as her therapist? Should Iroh leave his life in Ba Sing Se behind to come and help a niece who has only ever hated him and wanted him dead? People say that the straitjacket is proof of her being abused, and I don't really like it either, but considering that she is eagerly awaiting the opportunity to attack Zuko, the straitjacket is probably a precaution to make sure she doesn't hurt anyone. Not that it stops her.

And when Zuko does try to help her some other way by offering for her to stay in the palace instead to make her more comfortable, she attacks him. So.

Also, these comics totally forgot how lightning-bending works.

Argument: "Zuko violently coerced his mentally ill sister to come with him on a mission to find his mother!"

She's also Azula's mother, actually. And he didn't coerce her. She blackmailed him and forced herself onto the trip. It was entirely her own decision to come with them and it was not Zuko who forced her to do anything.

Argument: "The Gaang attack Azula for no reason! They're threatening her violently!"

I mean, considering everything she's done to them and still hasn't given up on wanting to do, it's expected that they would be wary of her and perceive her as a threat. Remember when the Gaang pulled their weapons on Zuko, and only didn't attack him because he tried talking to them? Azula here is still antagonizing them and is still calling them derogatory terms like "peasant," so she still hasn't given up her beliefs of superiority. Which obviously doesn't give them a very positive impression.

Argument: "Iroh always expresses ill will and hatred towards Azula and thinks she's a lost cause! He encourages Zuko to hurt her because he thinks she's irredeemable!"

Iroh expresses the wish for Azula to find peace the way he believes Zuko will.

Argument: "The Gaang treated Azula cruelly and threatened her for no reason! They started abusing her the moment they got the chance to, when Azula was defenseless and unable to protect herself at all!"

Here we have exhibit A, where Aang cruelly laughs in Azula's face and greets her mockingly, while Azula is respectful of the people she has hurt many times over.

Oh wait. He greets her cheerfully and kindly, and she starts ordering the Gaang around like they're her servants.

Argument: "Sokka threatened Azula violently for no reason and Azula was just defending herself!"

Sokka didn't even do anything to her. He waves his boomerang near her and tells her not to try anything. And yet the way some people will use this scene is to suggest that he was outright attacking her when she was vulnerable or something. And yet she is well off enough to shoot lightning at him unprovoked. Considering all of Azula's actions, they are well within their rights to keep her in control. Would you say Katara was unjustified for threatening Zuko with death right after he joined them? Was she abusing Zuko then? The answer is no.

Azula has been well known for committing many acts of violence against them, including but not limited to pursuing them relentlessly, attacking them, taking over Ba Sing Se, trying to kill them, actually killing Aang, almost killing Zuko, and she is complicit in the crimes of the Fire Nation. She has done nothing to prove that she's changed her ways and that she is now not interested in killing them, and we later learn that she still does want to attack them. Sokka is well within his rights to threaten her since she has inflicted so much harm on his friends and might still do so. But Azula has no such right. The only reason she has so much free reign is because of Zuko's compassion. The Gaang are right to be suspicious and wary of her after everything she's done and she has no right to be disdainful about that. Do you think if Zuko showed up to join the Gaang and shot sparks at them when he got irritated, that they would not be in the right for perceiving it as a threat? Would you say that Zuko should be allowed to act violently with the Gaang in that situation?

She is here because she manipulated her brother and the fact that she is being allowed on this trip unbound is much more than what she realistically deserves. And she proves Sokka right by attacking him. Sokka merely waved a boomerang in her face (he wasn't even that close to her, actually, and he certainly wasn't in her face) and warned her not to try anything, and she tried something instantly. Just before this when Zuko was with her, she attacked him. No matter her mental state or her age, Azula is dangerous and deadly, and she has not changed. They have no reason to trust her. They have the right to be distrustful of her and to warn her not to step out of line. I know people like to ignore the fact that Azula is still an Ozai sympathizer and an imperialist who partook gleefully in the war efforts and like to only see her as a mentally ill 14-year-old girl, but that's not what the show says, and neither do the comics, so.

I'm guessing it's wrong of the Gaang to react when someone who has previously proved to be more than ready to hurt them and kill them tries to hurt one of their friends. Sure, Azula wasn't going to hurt him severely, but she sure did hurt him enough for him to yell out and fall down. And considering everything else, the Gaang are right to try to protect themselves from someone they perceive as a threat. Sokka wasn't even close to her, damn it. Azula has no right at all to be making demands of the Gaang, and they don't have an obligation to treat her the way she wants to be, like they are her servants and like they are inferior to her.

Argument: "Zuko threatens Azula for no reason and abuses her!"

Azula is someone who has proven to be a threat time and again, and here she is yelling strange things and inching closer with an angry look in her eye. For people like Zuko, it is understandable that this looks like a threatening situation. We know what Azula is talking about, but all they can see is her behaving in a way that could be threatening.

She yells accusatory things and looks angry, and she is moving closer to the rest of the Gaang, almost like she is ready to attack them for something. And so Zuko tells her that that's enough. And he releases some... steam, I guess? He doesn't even bend a flame. And yet he's abusing her somehow. And then she makes it sound like he's overreacting. If someone you knew was dangerous started coming closer to you while yelling with a strange look in their eyes, would you try to wonder why exactly they're behaving like this and if they're alright, or would you prepare to defend yourself?

And here we also see Azula blaming the Gaang for ruining her life and not, you know, her abuser Ozai. So sure, of course she'd accept Zuko's help when she thinks he's to blame for her misfortune and not her own actions and Ozai's abuse.

I too wish Toph was here.

Argument: "The Gaang abused a defenseless Azula, Part 2."

Defenseless Azula breaks the deal she forced Zuko to make with her and jumps off Appa when they're too high.

Aang saves her and she blasts him.

Now, we know in this scene that Azula is having visions of her mother and that she's hearing things. We know that she's not exactly of sound mind when she goes on rampages. But the Gaang doesn't know that. Zuko doesn't know that, and he has no way of knowing because she won't tell him. Even when he asks her who she is talking to, she just yells at him and rebuffs him.

Look at Zuko, saying that he doesn't want to fight Azula with a sad expression. How abusive!

Azula throws the first blow here. She isn't seeing things when she attacks Zuko, she just used him to get here and now she wants to get rid of him. And Zuko is doing what he said he'd do, keeping her in line. And don't say he should have just let Azula go. He wouldn't be a very good Fire Lord if he let the lightning bending imperialist go off on her own.

And then the Gaang takes her down after she attacked them first. So if that's abuse, then I don't know what to say.

Argument: "Zuko abusing his sister, Part 3."

Very abusive, yes.

Oh, and he finds a secret she's been keeping from him! That's so abusive!

Argument: "Zuko abusing his mentally ill sister, Part 4."

She attacks him first. You could make the argument that it's because she's having visions of her mother, and yeah, she is. But Zuko doesn't know all this because she won't tell him. And also, as it should be obvious to everyone, that's not an excuse.

Then there's a fight scene.

Argument: "Zuko cruelly held Azula off a cliff to threaten her and hurt her! He's abusing her while she is clearly not well!"

Ah, this infamous scene. Where Zuko holds his weak and defenseless sister off a cliff and laughs maniacally at her suffering while she pleads with him to spare her- oh wait.

Obviously, he dragged her to a cliff just so he could hold her off it. It's not like they were fighting in that environment. It's not like she just fell near the cliff's edge and he picked her up.

I honestly don't see anything wrong with what he did. He's clearly defending himself from her, and holds her over the cliff so that she won't attack him again, and so that he can make her listen to him after she has acted out again and again in a violent and dangerous way. She was attacking him, and this was the only way he could get her to listen to him. If you think he was considering dropping her, you don't know Zuko at all.

Anyway, this is actually one of the few scenes from any of these comics that actually made me feel something. It's an expression of the tragedy of their relationship from Zuko, and also him standing up to another abuser in his life. Yes, Azula abused Zuko, that much is not up for debate. Here, Zuko is finally confronting Azula on the horrible was she's treated him their whole life. I don't begrudge him that. And him saying "since the day you were born," is obviously not literal. Like, I can't believe I have to say this unironically. If people say "I must have walked a thousand miles," do we take it literally or do we understand that it is an exaggerated way of expressing that someone has walked a long way? It's the same thing here. Just because Zuko exaggerates his speech does not mean that the sentiment he is expressing is untrue. This is such a stupid line to get hung up over, but gotta take every inch you get when the whole text is against you, I guess.

Argument: "The Gaang abusing Azula, Part 5."

Where the Gaang verbally abuse Azula who is clearly hurt by their cruel words- hold on.

Ah, yes. Call the people who are somehow still putting up with you "louts," Azula. I am sure that is a very good and proper way to treat people who have every right to throw you back in jail and be on their way. They don't even say anything back to her. The Gaang has the patience of saints, honestly.

Thank you Sokka for being the one with common sense. I suppose he's also a villain now for saying "she's tried to kill us twelve times" when that's not true, it was only about two times. Which clearly makes it better.

Argument: "Zuko abusing Azula, Part 6."

Azula antagonizes a child, Zuko tells her to knock it off.

He's being so cruel to her.

Argument: "The Gaang abusing Azula, Part 7."

She attacked them. They defended themselves. It doesn't matter if she saw her mother in a vision. That's not an excuse and it's not the Gaang's problem. It's not Zuko's obligation to help his abuser, especially since she doesn't want his help anyway.

Gee, all these arguments are starting to sound awfully similar. It's almost like Azula always instigates fights and the Gaang defend themselves. Hmm.

Argument: "Zuko abusing Azula, Part 8."

She attacked first. Again.

This time she even attacked two actually defenseless people.

Argument: "Zuko gave the Gaang permission to attack Azula for no reason at all! The used their position to abuse her!"

No, he gave them permission to take her down because she went too far and attacked innocent people who did nothing to her.

Honestly, Zuko should have done this a lot sooner. She's tried to kill them four times already. She hasn't listened to them when they tell her not to do something and she's endangered all of them many times. She's being granted more than she deserves by the Gaang, and yet she goes on to do things they explicitly tell her not to do because it might hurt the forest or other people. She's proven that she is not concerned about who she hurts as long as she gets what she wants, and it took until she attacked people who weren't the Gaang for Zuko to suggest taking her down. The fact that he didn't give the okay for this the first time she tried to kill them is honestly a testament to his character.

Azula had this coming. No amount of the excuse of mental illness is enough to justify her actions. Even if she has a mental illness, it doesn't give her the right to attack others. And Zuko has all the right to defend himself and realize that working with Azula is impossible. He doesn't look happy to be doing this. He looks quite sad, in fact. I joked around a little in this post but seriously, anyone who says Zuko is the one abusing Azula is interpreting the text in very bad faith. I know people like it when Azula is a victim so that they can justify her hurting others, but Zuko and the Gaang had every right to retaliate throughout this comic whenever Azula attacked them or hurt someone else. These two siblings aren't even the last non-Gaang people Azula hurts in this comic.

Argument: "Zuko abusing Azula, Part 9."

Wherein Azula attacks her mother who doesn't remember her and her defenseless family with the intent to kill.

Now I'm not heartless. I feel for Azula here, I really do. That panel of her with tears in her eyes truly makes me feel sad. She definitely didn't deserve what happened to her throughout her life at Ozai's hands. She didn't deserve to feel unloved and feel like her mother thought she was a monster. She didn't deserve to be abused by Ozai. Azula deserves to heal, she deserves to be loved, she deserves to be treated well and she deserves better.

None of this gives her the right to hurt other people. Innocent people. She may feel her mother has wronged her, but it's not true. And she doesn't get to attack her mother, who doesn't even remember her, out of hatred and anger. She doesn't get to kill this innocent woman and attack her family. And Zuko is not in the wrong for stopping her. Zuko is not the wrong for protecting his mother and her family. Zuko is not abusive for defending other people and himself from Azula. Because even if Azula is hurt, she is taking it out on other people who have done nothing to deserve it.

Zuko redirecting her lightning back at her doesn't kill her, and I'm sure Zuko knows that it wouldn't. He doesn't want her dead. He doesn't want to hurt her. He wouldn't have thrown her over the cliff for that very reason. Despite everything, Zuko loves Azula. He cares about her. He wants to have a good relationship with her. He's very affected by the knowledge that their relationship is so bad. He truly wants to help her. But it is Azula who is resistant to that help. It is Azula who thinks her brother is weak and deserves to be hurt. It is Azula who despite wanting love, chooses to push people away and hurt them over and over again.

He's saddened at her running away, he chases her and pleads with her to let him help. But it is Azula who refuses him, who rebuffs him and attacks him at every turn. It is Azula who is always the aggressor, it is Azula who is at fault in their relationship, all because she believes that everyone is to blame for her mistakes but herself. And the only way she can heal is if she realizes who the blame truly lies with, Ozai, and rejects everything he's taught her, that love is weakness and to rule with fear. She needs help, but Zuko is not obligated to provide it to her. And yet he does, out of the kindness and compassion in his heart, and the love he has for his sister.

Argument: "He abused her in the show, then! Since this post only talks about the comics!"

That's because it should be obvious to anyone watching that Zuko didn't abuse Azula. If anyone thinks Zuko abused Azula, I invite them to watch a show called Avatar: The Last Airbender. It's really quite good.

So I feel like I've covered most arguments I've seen. But I do want to talk some more about why exactly I wrote all this, why I wasted two hours of my life on this.

Anyone who goes through the ATLA tag on my blog will probably reach the correct conclusion that Zuko is my favorite character, and that he and his arc mean a lot to me. And so, it's honestly not great to see people undermine all of the suffering Zuko has gone through in his life, all to justify Azula's abusive behaviors. It's not wrong to like Azula and love her character. She's a complex character that many find relatable, and that's not wrong. But to accuse another character, her actual victim in the series and one whom many can relate to as well, of being her abuser and denying her abuse of him... it's not a great look. It reeks of victim blaming and abuse apologism. And it's not true. Azula is an example of how victims of abuse can become abusers themselves. This is what she represents in the show. And it is not wrong for people to call out Azula and not Zuko, because Zuko got called out in universe, called himself out and he changed. Zuko redeemed himself and became a good person.

Azula has not done that. She hasn't changed, she hasn't acknowledged that she is wrong, and therefore people are allowed to criticize her and dislike her, and they are allowed to call out her abuse and her other actions. People call out Zuko for his bad actions as well, but the fact of the matter is that he changed, and people don't feel the need to call him out anymore because he's done it himself. Zuko doesn't need the same criticism Azula does because he grew and she didn't, that's it. So all the talking points about how people don't call out Zuko as much as Azula or that they don't criticize his bad actions are moot because of his very widely acknowledged and celebrated redemption arc. Because he realized his mistakes and worked hard to fix them. So, there is really no point in criticizing him anymore the way there is for Azula, since she hasn't changed. And it is not "hate" for people to understand that despite Azula's abuse at Ozai's hands, she dealt the same thing to her brother for years. And it is not wrong for people to criticize her for it.

All this talk about how Azula is always being hurt and betrayed by everyone, and all this talk about how Zuko is weak unlike Azula is the exact same reasoning Azula uses that enables her to abuse others within the story, the reasoning that Ozai instilled in her. It is quite literally the parroting of Ozai's beliefs, that Zuko is weak and soft, and that Azula is strong and powerful and yet she's a victim of everybody. She believes that others deserve to be hurt because they are too weak or because they are responsible for her suffering, and not her or Ozai. In the end, it wasn't Zuko who drove away her friends Mai and Ty Lee, and Mai and Ty Lee did not "betray" her. It was Azula's cruel treatment of them because she controlled them through fear that drove them away from her, and when push came to shove they stood up for the people the loved and for themselves. It wasn't Zuko who drove away their mother, it was Ozai. It wasn't Iroh who hated Azula and wanted her dead, it was Azula who hated Iroh and wanted him dead, and these are all things she learnt from Ozai. She can only ever grow if she realizes her mistakes and accepts the blame for her own actions, and if she stops blaming her victims for her suffering and starts blaming her abuser.

Blaming Zuko for defending himself from her and calling that abuse is victim blaming. Whether you like it or not, Azula did abuse Zuko. She had power over him, she targeted his insecurities constantly, she lied to him multiple times and made him doubt his own perceptions, she manipulated and gaslit him and made him feel unsafe in his home. She supported Ozai's abuse of Zuko and participated in it and took pleasure in it. Zuko never did anything of the sort to her. He reacted to her abuse in a way he never did with Ozai until the end, but that does not mean he wasn't affected by it or that it didn't happen, because it did, and even though he fought back with her, he was often defeated and Azula always managed to manipulate and terrify him. For fuck's sake, he literally had a chant, "Azula always lies," so that he could comfort himself after she terrorized him, something that he's been saying to himself for years according to Zuko Alone. People will point to Zuko challenging Azula as him abusing her back, but what defines abuse is the power dynamics. There is no such thing as mutual abuse. Abuse is all about one party having power over the other, and in Azula and Zuko's relationship, she had all the power over him because she was the favored child. Of course, this was also damaging for her, very much so, but it means that she had power over him, and he didn't.

Azula is a tragic character and her life is a sad one. But that doesn't make her any less of a bad person, and it doesn't mean she is not a toxic individual. Her actions have hurt other in many ways, and she does not feel remorse. She finds pleasure in the pain of others, especially her brother, at whom she smiled in glee when he was being maimed by their father. She took over a city and killed someone and did it with a smile on her face. She tried to kill her brother and laughed about it. She gleefully suggested genocide, and wanted to take part in it. And she hasn't changed, so people are allowed to dislike her and call her out for it. Personally, I believe that Azula has the capacity to change and to redeem herself. I don't think she's too far gone or is irredeemable. She is not as bad as Ozai, and it's not too late for her.

No one deserves a redemption. It has to be something you actively work for, something you do and it is something that you have to work for. Azula can change if she truly wants to. She has people who are willing to help her if she so chooses, like Zuko for better or worse for him. But that means admitting to her mistakes, acknowledging that she is wrong and has hurt people, and making the effort to change, which so far she has not done. And Zuko is not obligated to forgive her or help her in any way, and neither are the Gaang or Iroh.

You can like a villainous character. You can like a character who is a bad person. It's not wrong. What is wrong is to paint another character in a bad light, in a false light, to justify your love for another character. And especially in this case since Azula is Zuko's abuser, turning the tables and calling him her abuser for defending himself against her all because you want to excuse Azula's actions and want her to be a victim is really not great. Accusing Iroh and Ursa of being responsible for her downfall is not great. All this is directing blame away from the real abuser, Ozai. And it veers into victim blaming and abuse apologism, like I said.

Being a fan of Azula doesn't mean you can handwave away her less than savory traits or cherry-pick the ones you like. She is a victim, but she's also an abuser. And it is not "bashing" or misogyny for people to call her out. Calling out Zuko is also okay and allowed, but it is honestly less productive since he changed himself already. I understand that people don't like when their favorite characters are criticized or hated, but that doesn't mean characters who do bad things are exempt from being called out. And it doesn't give anyone the excuse to start misrepresenting other characters and hating on them to prop up their fave. Fans of characters who are villainous should understand that. And in this case, anyone who is a fan of Azula should understand that.

#ATLA #Avatar The Last Airbender #Zuko #Aang #Katara #Sokka #Ty Lee #Iroh #Prince Zuko #ATLA Zuko #ATLA Aang #ATLA Iroh #ATLA Katara #The Search #ATLA Comics #Meta #My meta #Anti Azula #Azula critical #Azula negative #Pro Zuko #Abuse cw #Abuse tw

[2aceofspades]

Now that we're entering into 2024, I'm asking some artists and writers that I follow:

1) What is the one piece you're most proud of from this past year?

2) What are some pieces that you would have liked more people to see? If you can include links, I'd love to go check them out!

3) What were your top three favorite pieces (art, comics, fics, etc) that someone else has made this past year?

(As always, no pressure to respond! Feel free to just ignore, or let me know if you'd rather I not send you these kinds of asks in the future.)

These questions are getting me thinking oh boy...

1) Okay um...I'll just put my top three here cuz I'm indecisive hehe~

2) Uhm...I guess I don't have any. I'm just on here for fun so I do my best to not care about views and numbers and all that.

3) 1: THIS ASK answered by @/evenmoreofadisaster (it literally rotted my brain for like two weeks straight if not longer gah-/pos)

2: The Jacob's Ladder by @/tapakah0 the story was so so SO well done I am still in AWE

And 3: @/pinetreevillain 's comics in general gah I just love his style so so much

#ace answers #thank you for asking! #this was fun to answer #had me working my brain fs #:)

[phoebepheebsphibs]

Overanalyzing Mikey's fear

This post will be a bit vague, since most of Mikey's fears are connected to an unrevealed piece of lore... but I'll try to explain it as best I can

Living on the streets, Mikey obviously had to turn to unscrupulous means to survive. You may notice that when I refer to Leo, I call him a "petty thief". But I don't refer to Mikey as such, I call him a "con artist". Why the difference? Because Mikey has morals in him. Misguided and backwards, but they are there. Leo's driving moral is survival, so he has no problem taking whatever he wants. Mikey's conscience won't allow him to do that, so rather than steal outright, he tricks people to give him their belongings. His argument? "If they're dumb enough to fall for it, then I earned it and they deserve to lose it!" So, to reiterate, Mikey has morals but they are strained due to his life on the streets.

Mikey wants to be a good person, if only for his family's sake. He wants to set a good example of what a family should be, and what better example than himself? Like the song says, "If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and then make that change!" So, Mikey desperately attempts to be as perfect as he can. But, perfection is difficult to attain, and it brings a heavy weight on one's shoulders. Even so, Mikey has been carrying that weight since his early childhood...

Leo and Mikey have always been together, ever since Leo found his little brother in the alley. But their experiences in families has been vastly different (as we'll see in the next fear fungus update). Mikey was always the golden child, Leo the troublemaker. Mikey found that being the good kid was more favourable in order to get a family, so that was a big motivator to be perfect as well. It was never enough, though...

NOW ONTO THE LORE. In the comic, Mikey mentions "the teapot", and Donnie refers to it as "the emotionally traumatizing lore drop". I don't want to divulge too much, but I will say that Mikey stole something he never should have, felt badly about it, and when he tried to make amends, things went terribly wrong. Immediately afterwards, he was kidnapped by Draxum. But specifically, let's focus on Mikey's attempt to redeem his mistake. It failed catastrophically, which he did not expect. He truly believed that his coming clean about his misdeed would make it better, but instead it made it worse. The person he wronged? They blew up at him. They were enraged, furious! And he didn't expect that, because he was starting to think of this person as family. And Mikey had always believed that when a person apologizes, you forgive them! But his forgiveness was withheld, and Mikey was crushed by this fact. And so, he ran away... and unknowingly ran straight into the clutches of his creator...

OKAY NOW HERE'S THE BIG ONE. Sadly... I can't tell you the reasoning behind this. But let's look into the psychological aspect of it, shall we? Both Mikey and Donnie view Draxum as a monster, the most evil person they have ever known. Why? Because they both went through the same traumatic experience with him together! I think it is very interesting that while Donnie was afraid he would never live up to his father's standards, Mikey was terrified that he had surpassed them. The most evil, cruel, monstrous person Mikey had ever known told HIM that HE was "wretched, awful, evil, he told me I was a BAD PERSON". Whatever it was that Mikey did... he feels that it is unredeemable, unforgivable, even worse than the "teapot incident".

But to bring this back to a wholesome note -- because if we don't then Dr. Feelings will have my head -- Donnie helped Mikey understand that what he did was not unredeemable. He is not unforgivable. And from Donnie's perspective, Mikey is his hero, simply because he rescued him from a bad situation. More than once... but that's a story for another lore drop!

@boots-with-the-fur-club @daboyau

#fear of being a bad person #rottmnt #rottmnt until i found you #until i found you #until i found you au #rottmnt separated au #separated au #rottmnt mikey #overanalyzing #lets get into it #rottmnt michelangelo #michelangelo #writing angst #writing fears #writing whump #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles fanfic #rottmnt fanfic #writing therapy

[genericpuff]

Hi! Maybe this is a difficult question with no answer, but as a fan of Rekindled who might want to start their own comic, what do you suggest to avoid burnout? Do you start wiht writting the script right away, you doodle a bit,..? Thanks for reading, I love how you draw big noses, makes me more comfy with mine!

no fr my dark secret is that i've been experiencing burnout with my main original project that I've spent the last decade working on for literally a year now. this isn't the first long hiatus i've taken, the longest one i've ever been on has lasted two years, and it's undoubtedly not the last i'll experience because the lump of salt and fat and tissue that is my brain often overworks itself into exhaustion like a big dummy

rekindled has been my reprieve from the burnout. it has been my vacation from years of working on the same project, meeting the same deadlines, drawing the same characters, over and over and over again since before i was in college.

if there's anything working on rekindled has made clear to me, it's that i'm still capable of drawing comics. the comic-making isn't the problem. it's just that when you work on the same project for years and trap yourself in an uphill battle, eventually your climbing gear is bound to break.

if there's another thing that rekindled has opened my eyes to, it's the insanity that i put myself through prior to rekindled that led to my burnout in the first place.

i get people telling me that they couldn't imagine doing what i do, that even before i had my assistant helping me out, i was still able to put out 30-40 panel updates every week.

but before that, i was putting out 70-90 panel episodes of my original work. every week. full color. full spread action scenes. no assistant. very little financial gain aside from a couple patrons on patreon and one dedicated viewer on twitch, which i was also streaming on 2-3 times a week.

and now that i've been working on rekindled and even finding myself often crunched for time with that, i have zero clue, no idea, a complete lack of comprehension of how i pulled off 70-90 panels a week for months on end. there's a reason it resulted in burnout and i know that now. this comparison is not for the sake of a flex - this comparison is to make it clear that much of what i do isn't the norm and isn't exactly a healthy standard. case in point, i sneezed while sweeping up yesterday morning and it caused a muscle strain in my lower back/hips and i've been working out of my bed since, i'm in a lot of pain and it might mean i don't make any money this week if it's not better by the time i have to do my appointments at my day job on thursday. my need to create my personal passion projects is often at odds with my bad habits of not taking care of myself 。゜゜(´Ｏ`) ゜゜。

when it comes to tackling burnout, your guess is as good as mine. really it just comes down to rest. when burnout - real, true burnout - hits, it's not just "man i'm bored of working on this", it's "i can't even think of looking at this thing let alone working on it", it's basically akin to depression and it's an awful thing that i wouldn't even wish on my worst enemy (even with Rachel, I don't want to psychoanalyze her mental health but it does seem like she's possibly been experiencing burnout with LO for years now and that really sucks for her if that's true). so the solution is just as complicated as the cause, it's not something that you can just rest from for a week and come back from, it takes real long-term healing.

when I found my way out of that 2 year hiatus, it was in spring of 2019 and I decided to just work on a random comic page that wasn't even in the comic I was working on. and then suddenly it was like a switch flicked back into the on position and i didn't even finish what i was working on, i just went back to my original project and i kept working on it until it was finally finished at the end of 2021. as suddenly and randomly as it had set in, it was gone. but i can't just do the same thing this time, it just doesn't work that way.

that said, through all this, i've learned that my need to create is not restricted to any one tangible thing, i'm not doomed or designed to stick with the same words, the same faces, the same ideas until the end of time. while i do try to keep up healthy routines for myself to ensure i'm looking out for my future self and their deadlines and their upload schedules, sometimes the heart wants what the heart wants. and in my case, the heart wanted to take a break from the self-reflective psychological analysis dark fantasy weebo stuff and just draw some pink and blue characters a little less ugly. the self-reflective weebo shit will still be there when i'm done with the pink and blue stuff, and i'll surely have loads of new things to unpack through it once i return.

there are still times when i'm working on rekindled and i'm feeling the creeping hand of my routine destruction digging its claws into my back. the reality is that 30-40 panels is still a lot for someone like myself who's doing this entirely for free, but my definition of normal for a while was so insanely inhumane that even what's still considered a lot by most people's standards feels sane and normal to me after what i put myself through.

i've learned to be more gentle with myself, and to loosen my own expectations of what i'm capable of to ensure i don't do anything like that to myself, by myself, again. i give myself room to create without expectations or the pressure of eyes watching when i can, and i remind myself that even if burnout rears its head again, and again, and again, the will to create is not gone. it's just tired, and resting, and growing, and healing as i am.

anyways that turned into a self-reflective essay post, to answer your question about making stuff ahead of time, i find that's more helpful with just like, planning out a structured story (so you don't write yourself into a corner) but whether or not it helps with burnout kind of depends. because it can just as also easily be the cause of the problem because constantly seeing the stuff you wanna be drawing so far away can be just as much of a morale killer as a motivator. some of the stuff i'm super psyched to write and draw with time gate is years away and that timeline grows longer the more the burnout goes on which makes the struggle feel even more overwhelming and pointless and defeating. so plan ahead, but keep it all within your means if you can. i find what works for me is planning out just general beat-to-beat plot structures (to ensure i at least have a plot skeleton going on so i know where i'm going) then i leave the finer details to when the actual episode i've planned gets closer to fruition and i can get myself in the headspace to write it fully.

also remember that just because you're really excited and motivated to work on your comic doesn't mean you should work yourself into exhaustion - it's a good thing if you're going through the mundane of your daily routine and the whole time you're hyped af to work on your hobby/personal project/etc. because that's what will keep you moving forward, so don't spend all that hype in one place by working and working and working until you're exhausted, because that hype is REALLY hard to get back after you've spent it all.

long post over! hope that helps! best of luck in your projects! ( ´ ∀ `)ノ～ ♡

#also aaah thank you for the nose compliment haha #i love drawing different kinds of noses <3 #ama #ask me anything #anon ama #anon ask me anything #self post

[starryluminary]

hi, sorry, love your au! its really. really good, and i admire the fact that you have drawn a whole comic, especially one so good, thats incredible!

don't know if this has been asked before or if you have answered this already, but how does the afterparty (I don't remember the name exactly, but the eliminated contestants plus the contestants that didn't get in) feel about this whole situation between cody, noah and sierra, are they being being stupid like duncan or mean and malicious like alejandro, are they on noahs and codys side or sierras? how do the rest of team e-scope feel about it (eva and izzy), are they ready to fight sierra for hurting noah and cody?

also, how do their families? specifically noahs, since codys mother and father are implied to be neglectful and likely wouldn't care to watch a show their son was on and I don't know if its the same in your au, sierras we don't know (I can't remember if we ever met her family members), and noah we know to have 8 sisters and a mom and since noahs like. the baby - I think their reactions are going to be very interesting if they are even established at all

sorry, that's a lot. thank you for making your comic. it's kind of fascinating seeing how things progress over time in this new narrative and how different things are from canon. you're doing a great job. - 🍓 anon

Oooooo this is a long one! Uuuhhh let's go one block of text at a time

Thank you so much!! I'm really glad you like my au!! It always wows me that this impulsive decision I made turned into something people really like and even anticipate. That's so cool

This ask actually made me pause and seriously think about the Peanut Gallery. So I made a bullet list of all the contestants in the Peanut Gallery and their (mostly) individual opinions on the situation. I'll let you decide if they're stupid or not

Katie and Sadie: Sympathize with Sierra. All she is is a girl in love, who's Noah to ruin that?! Like, soooo not cool!

DJ: Doesn't sympathize with Sierra, but doesn't agree with how noco kissed without setting her straight. Isn't really on anyone's side.

Leshawna: Does not like Sierra's persistence. Completely understands Noah and Cody doing what they do behind her back.

Harold: Compelled to agree with Leshawna. Also likes Cody, therefore feels bad he has to deal with Sierra. He's happy Noah makes him happy.

Beth: Thinks Noco's "forbidden love" situation is super sweet and sappy. She's on their side.

Justin: Cannot fathom why Cody would want to be with Noah when Sierra is so much prettier and treats him like a God. Also doesn't like Noah in general.

Trent: Is happy Cody's happy with Noah, but feels bad Sierra's heartbroken, regardless of what she's done. Mostly neutral.

Izzy: Noticed Noah had a crush during her time on the game, but only found out it was on Cody when she watched the London episode. She's proud he went after who he wanted. Got a pit in her stomach when Sierra attacked Noah in Greece.

Eva: Finds the whole situation incredibly stupid. Cannot understand how love makes Sierra so obsessed. Would maim her if she had the chance. Someone put them in the ring, actually.

Lindsay: Is not paying attention. Sees Tyler is friends with Noah (more on that later) so she likes Noah too!

Gwen: Made friends with Cody in the first half of the season and helped him out with his feelings for Noah where she could. Understands Sierra's insane and feels bad for Cody.

Owen: Feels awful about ever doubting Noah after watching Alejandro try to manipulate Cody by flirting with Noah. Plans to apologize to Noah as soon as he sees him again.

Now about their families (which I also had not thought too much about before this ask). They're on a scale to me. Cody's parents are on the "Not watching the show at all" extreme of the scale, Sierra's mom (cause I don't think she has a dad?) is on the "Obsessively watching the show" extreme of the scale, and Noah's family is somewhere in the middle, tuning in and out. Cody will come home, have his parents ask "How was the trip?", he'll answer an empty "fine" and they'll move on. Sierra's mom is loudly cheering her daughter on, cause she knows if she was there instead of her daughter, she'd be doing the same thing to Chris. She's proud of her for going after Cody and has an unhealthy hatred for Noah for getting in the way. For the first half of the season, Noah's family would watch the episodes as they aired if they could catch them. Most of them were there for London though. After that they started putting in more effort to catch the episodes. His parents are mostly worried for his well being, but his siblings are mostly cheering for him and Cody with every episode. They're gonna jump him (with affection) when he gets home.

You don't have to apologize Strawberry. (Can I call you Strawberry?) I'm always happy to receive asks about this au! And I'm glad you're having your fun with it. It's what I strive for. The fun

#added a read more cause it got long #Thank yooouuuu!! #total drama #world tour but noco are the only ones kissing #Starry has a question

[lykaios2]

Heya! I have a rise Leo x Gn reader request. Leo catching the reader admiring him while he reads comics.

That is all!! Have a good day/night ^^

THANK YOU

you, my good anon, broke the streak of donnie x readers. the last 4 requests I got were all donnie x readers (not that I don't love writing him)

anyway hope you enjoy! ❤️

Behind the Pages

rise leo x reader

tw: nothing

"Come on, so close...aw, damn. No luck."

You died. Again. It was a hard boss. You and Raph had been trying for days now to beat it. Both you and him tried everything: looked at every guide online, brought every item you could think of, watched other people beat it. Nothing worked, though.

"Hey! You two! Get in here. I made some snacks for you, since I figured you were going to be up for a while."

You and Raph made your way to the kitchen to find Mikey, standing behind a plate of two freshly baked pizzas he had just pulled out of the oven. You walked over, and thanked Mikey, and grabbed a few drinks from the fridge before taking the plate and returning to the living room.

When you returned, it was Raph’s turn to take on the boss. You handed him the controller, and grabbed yourself a slice of pizza. Raph was a little better at this game than you were, but only because he had more free time. He was doing fine, and everything was going well.

"Man...I'm kinda cold. I'm gonna go grab my hoodie from my car, ill be right back. You can take the next few turns."

"Cold?! We have the heat on and it's like, 90 degrees outside. Whatever, weirdo, go grab your hoodie."

You laughed at his comment and got up. As you were walking through the lair, you passed by Leo's room. You glanced over to see him laying down in bed, reading comics.

Leo was always your favorite out of the four brothers. Of course you liked them all, but something about Leo just...drew you to him. Maybe it was his humor. As stupid as his brothers made it out to be, you actually found a lot of his jokes funny. Maybe it was his good looks. The red stripes on his face, his beautiful blue eyes, and his sweet little smile. Maybe it was his amazing leadership. On one very special occasion, the turtles agreed to take you on a mission, and you finally got to see them in action. It was incredibke the way they all worked together under his command. Maybe it was all of it. Or maybe it was something else that you couldn't quite place your finger on...

"Hello? y/n? You there?"

You snapped back to reality to find Leo had noticed you standing outside of his room. You quickly regained your composure, and finally replied to his question.

"Oh, hi sorry. I, um...I spaced out."

"Yeah, I figured. What were you doing?"

"I was just gonna go grab my hoodie from my car..."

Leo looked at you with a curious, almost suspicious look on his face. You didn't want to tell him that you had just been staring at him for the past 10 minutes, thinking about how much you loved him, so you tried to keep your cool until you could leave.

"Is that all...?"

"Yep. I'll be on my way now then."

"Wait, before you go, can I show you something?"

You turned back to him, about to walk away. You paused, unsure of what he was about to show you. You nodded, and he asked you to stand still. He grabbed his sword from his bedside, and before you knew it, he made a portal right below your feet that landed you right next to him in his bed.

"Now you can admire me up close, hm?"

Immediately your face began to turn a bright pink. Leo just chuckled and pulled you close to him.

"I'm not stupid, y/n. But don't worry, your secret is safe with me...as long as you admit that you were staring at my handsome face."

After a minute of silence, you reluctantly admitted that you were indeed staring at him. He laughed again, then placed a soft kiss on your forehead.

"You know...you're pretty cute yourself. Especially when you're all flustered like this."

He was quiet after that, just letting you take in everything that just happened. He held you in his arms, silently signaling to you that he returned your feelings. As you laid there, you felt a buzz come from your pocket. You pulled our your phone to see a text from Raph, asking where you were. Before you could reply, Leo stole your phone and took a picture of you two cuddling and sent it to him, along with the caption, <y/n's a little stuck at the moment ;)>.

"Leo! What the hell?!"

"What? We're adorable!"

#lykaios thinks #rottmnt #tmnt 2018 #rise of the tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt leo #leonardo x reader #rottmnt leo x reader

[balanceoflightanddark]

I saw your earlier post about live action Azula and a few thoughts came to mind.

I know a lot of people are (rightfully)worried about the live action. I understand that they have cause to be wary.

As for me, I’m just hoping we get to see Azula kick the Zuko’s + the Gaangs (including Aang and Katara) collective asses! She got jipped quite a few times in the Og show regarding PIS and her mental breakdown.

And who knows? Maybe Netflix will make big changes and we’ll get to see an Azula redemption.

They also have an opportunity for epic trolling by having either Azulaang become canon (in the netverse anyway) Or having Katara fall for Zuko’s little sister instead of him. If nothing else, it would be good for a laugh.

I doubt any of these things will happen. But a person can dream, no?

In a similar vein to myself, do you have anything you wish to see in regards to Azula’s character?

How do you think Azula will be handled on Netflix?

Thank you for the ask anon.

I think one of my biggest fears is that they're going to play up her insanity and her breakdown. Unfortunately, her entire character has been colored by that breakdown both by the fandom and the franchise. Almost all of her post-canon work focuses on her mental instability to the point she's portrayed as a rabid animal in that awful Legacy of Fire book. Sure, we've had some more nuanced portrayals of her in recent years (Azula in the Spirit Temple comes to mind), but that's over a decade of her being portrayed at her worst moment.

And that's not even getting into how she's been demoted into little more than a glorified punching bag for Zuko and the Gaang in the Yang Comics.

So, yeah. I'm right with you about being apprehensive about Netflix's portrayal. If the creators can't get what made her character special, I don't exactly have confidence in a company who's had a pretty spotty track record when it comes to live-action adaptations (One Piece being the exception from what I've heard).

The other thing I'm a bit concerned about is...well, I don't think they're going for a redemption. With how modern media is like, I doubt they're going to stray too far away from the original series. Especially with Azula since her breakdown is iconic for all the wrong reasons. I mean, I'd like to hope for a redemption, but considering how Bryke and almost all the creative team keeps shying away from the possibility, I sincerely doubt Netflix is going to do better. Kind of frustrating when they've been leaving us up in the air for years at this point.

Now for what I'm hoping...I want Azula to get more sympathy. Basically, bust as many bad faith interpretations as possible. Don't tie in her story so closely to Zuko. Let her be a badass. And maybe leave her story on a positive note unlike the series. She seems to be getting a bit more focus, so I'm hopeful this might be true. Though it's all up to the writing team at this point.

I'll be honest, it's going to take a lot to convince me they have a handle on Azula's character. I mean, all respect for her actress and I'll be rooting for her. It's just...well, like I said in my previous post, over a decade of toxicity towards Azula and wishing the worst for her with creators that keep feeding that attitude has left me a little estranged. A part of me is hopeful, but until I see otherwise, I'm going to be skeptical.

Feel free to leave your thoughts.

#azula #princess azula #azula deserved better #azula meta #atla #avatar: the last airbender #atla netflix #atla live action #anon ask #anon answered #ask answered #ask me anything

[pixies-and-poets]

Well, well! What have we here! If it isn't your girl Bramble "I'm going to write fanfics but ONLY RARELY" Scramble with another fanfic!

I don't know if I'll ever continue this story directly, but I thought up a starting point for the Divine AU and haven't been able to stop thinking about it for a couple of days. Enjoy my attempts at "localizing" things into Greek! Phantom is also literally Dionysus here, but it's strange to call him that, so I did what we in the business called "cheesing it" to get us back to his familiar name.

As always, thank you for putting up with my Phandrow obsession lmaaaooo. And now enjoy...

An Appeal to the Heavens

It was mid-morning of a bright day in early spring, and the city streets bustled with activity. Children and adults alike ran about wearing colorful togas or tunics. Street vendors shouted from the sidelines, or pushed their carts straight through the crowd. The drinking was heavy, and wine stained the lips and tongues of many a mouth.

It was the middle of a festival, after all.

The Dionysia lasted for a whole week, and mostly celebrated theatrical productions both grand and small. But today there were also competitions for poetry: theatre’s cousin, and also much beloved by theatre’s God. There were different categories for original poetry throughout the day: epic, tragic, comic, romantic. It was an hour yet before they began, and every adult was preparing themselves with the appropriate amount of inebriation to survive the more tortured of verses- and purchasing fruit to throw, if need be.

Through the mass of pure white or brightly-colored clothing pressed a man who stood out from the rest in his somber long tunic, so dark brown as to be almost black. The only spot of color on his form was the vibrant pink ribbon that tied the cloth around his waist. More notable than his clothes, however, was the way he literally stood out amongst his fellow rabbids: his tall, slender but top-heavy form being so unusual that it drew plenty of rudely curious gazes.

…Or at least, that’s what he imagined they were looking at. More likely, they were staring at the tiny raincloud that followed in his vicinity, bobbing here and there as if to observe the festivities, and occasionally giving off a little thunderclap of excitement.

The tall man carried a bundle wrapped in white cloth close to his chest, protectively but not too tightly, as delicate and guarded as if it were a newborn child. He weaved through the crowd with extreme care, so as not to let anyone bump him and his precious cargo too hard.

Finally, he reached his destination- a grand temple, richly decorated above and among its pillars with carvings of grapes and their vines and leaves, and the masks of comedy and tragedy, and harps, and musical notation. Atop the pillars, its triangular pediment was carved with a relief depicting actors upon a stage. 

For a moment the visitor stared up at the building in awe. He could have spent hours taking in every detail. It was so large, so ornate, compared to the temple in his home village! There was only one, which all the gods had to share, their little shrines jumbled up against one another inside. This one was so huge, despite its dedication to a single god alone! But it only made sense- this was THE main temple to Dionysus, in the city that was holy to him.

And yet… hardly anyone was around. The wide set of stairs leading up and inside were the least crowded space the tall rabbid had seen for a while. This surprised him a bit - he had expected others to have the same idea as him, to come to pray. Perhaps most people saw little use - or little fun - in being pious at a temple, when the whole city was transformed into a shrine for the god’s honor.

The visitor slowly approached the doorway, and then turned around. He noticed his cloud hanging back- the little thing rarely came into buildings to begin with, and certainly not temples.

“I won’t be long, Katára,” he addressed it, with a gentle smile. Then he turned back and entered the structure.

He found himself in a massive hall. On the left side was a large dias - a stage, in fact - and on the right, rows of seating, raised up in tiers. Here plays were sometimes performed, but right now they were elsewhere, all over the city. And at the far end of the hall, which the visitor was now walking towards in the space between the stage and the audience, was a statue.

The newcomer's green-blue eyes, which were often somewhat squinted due to his poor eyesight, widened in amazement. The statue was larger than life, much much larger than even the largest mortal rabbid he had ever seen. And it was an incredible piece of workmanship. At its base, a large harp - which the god’s body was said to contain - was delicately rendered and covered in gold. This was subtly part of a pillar, which supported the statue’s upper body - the god with one hand at his chest and the other stretched out, his hair flowing, his eyes closed and his mouth open in divine song. All of this was carved in stone, but painted in vibrant color: the purple of his toga, the green of the grape leaves in his hair, the red of his mouth, and even more purple on his wine-stained lips, which were said to be a near permanent feature.

Most astonishingly of all, however, is that his giant round belly was made entirely of glass, through which the harp could be seen.

Never before had it been more obvious why the god had earned the colloquial name of the Phantom. He usually kept his stomach transparent, like a ghost, so that all might see the glorious instrument inside. Most statue depictions, of course, could not capture this detail, or had to attempt it in the most rudimentary of ways. He also went without legs most of the time, his body culminating in a ghostly tail- although legends claimed he could give himself legs, if it was more fun to have them.

There was another reason he'd earned that name, of course. He was infamously elusive, appearing before mortals extremely rarely, at least in this age. Some gods, like the hero Perfectus or his less heroic brother Augustus, dwelt among mortals almost full-time; others appeared rarely, but at least sometimes... and the Phantom was almost never seen at all, at least in his own form outside of some disguise.

"So that's what you really look like, eh?” said the newcomer as he gazed up in wonder. How different this was from the simple wooden carvings in the temple of his village! Those certainly couldn’t pull off a trick of transparency like this. Before he knew it, he was at the base of the statue, which was raised up on a huge pedestal of its own. His eyes were at the level of the harp, and he could see his own reflection- a poor, tired poet, gazing at a form of divine magnificence. Embarrassed by his own awkward reflection, he looked upward again, at the face of a god who was rapt with the joy of performance... and without thinking, he reached out a paw and touched the glass.

He stood like that for a moment, before suddenly coming to his senses, embarrassed and ashamed. He took his paw away, and saw that it had left a faint print. At this point he was more relieved than ever that not another soul was present in the temple. He must clean that off in a moment. But for now…

He looked around the edges of the statue’s base. Various tributes had been left here recently; sumptuous costumes and props; bundles of papyrus that were probably play scripts, piles of coins, and more. The newcomer found some empty space and sat his own bundle down, gently unwrapping it. Out he pulled a bunch of grapes.

It was a healthy group - each individual a rich reddish purple, as full and round as the god’s own belly, with no bruises or wrinkles or rot. The ideal representation of the fruit. He had spent far too long at the market this morning, picking out the absolute most perfect bunch he could find. In fact, he was pretty sure the vendor had charged him extra for it after seeing how long he had agonized and deliberated.

Now he sat them tenderly at the base of the statue, and used the freed cloth to wipe off his paw-print. He stood back, looking at his tribute nestled in amongst the others… and felt shame. They were only grapes, after all. Nothing compared with the expensive clothing and masks and other offerings on display. He sighed. Still, it was about all he could afford to give. …That, and his endless devotion, of course. If the god would have it.

But no one seemed to want it.

The visitor tucked the cloth away within his tunic, and then knelt before the statue, his ears flopping forward over the top of his head. He brought his long arms together and clasped his hands and shut his eyes.

“My Lord,” he began. “It's been a while. It's me, Tristan of the Woods, from Chróma Próta… do you remember me? I’m very far from home. I used to pray to you in rhyme, but… well, I think you must not have liked it, because you never answered my prayers. -But I don’t hold it against you personally! None of the gods ever do.”

He sighed, feeling like he was messing this up already. “-So anyway, I thought I might try something different this time. I thought I should be more casual. Perhaps you’d like that better…”

Tristan paused here. His knees were already hurting from kneeling on the stone floor. He opened his eyes and looked up at the statue, at the torchlight reflecting off its glass, making the god seem to glow.

“You know,” he said, “if I’m going to be casual, I should go all the way. Commit to it. I hope you don’t mind.”

He went around the side of the statue’s dais, where there were no tributes laid out, and heaved himself up onto the platform. This was the side where the statue’s ghost-like tail snaked around, and the visitor settled himself into the crook between the tail and the statue’s body, resting his back on the glass, curling his legs up behind the tail.

“Well then.” He began to speak once more, looking alternatively down at his knees, or the statue’s tail, or the decorated walls around him. “I’m here today because - I need your help. Desperately. If there’s ever a prayer I need answered, if you only answer one in my whole life, let it be my request to you today.”

He shifted, slouching down even further against the statue. “You see, My Lord… I am a poet, yes? Or at least I call myself such. But in my hometown, they do not like my poetry. I don't blame them, because neither do you, it seems- the gods, I mean.

Well, despite everything, I care for my hometown. I want to give back to them. It just so happens that they're holding elections soon, for the archon- you know, that’s someone who’s sort of in charge of a town, among us mortals. A lot of decisions, and a lot of responsibility. The only thing is, it’s only open to people who can pay a certain amount of money… to prove we’re financially stable, and responsible, and well-to-do.”

The poet took a deep breath, then exhaled sadly. “The problem is… I’m NOT. I have hardly any money. I barely scrape by. And that’s why… that’s why I came all the way here, to the poetry competitions. I entered myself in all four of them, you know! It’s going to be a busy day for me. But just winning one… that would be enough. The prize money would be all I need to enter the election.”

The rabbid turned his upper body around, to look up at the statue once more, though from here he could only really see the side of his toga, his elbow and his flowing locks. “So… since this is your festival, I was hoping… maybe you could inspire me today, to do extra well? Or… perhaps convince the judges to see the virtues of my work. Whatever you can do, as a god, to help me win. Just one little competition! I… I would prefer it were the tragic poem, as I’m always most proud of myself in that regard. But any will do. That’s all I ask. Just one, my Lord. It’s for a good reason, I promise you.”

He turned back around, put his hands together once more, and was quiet for a moment. When he spoke again, it was softer. “Even if you don't like my poems.... maybe you can pretend, just this once. And in return… if there’s anything you wish of me... just let me know somehow. Send me a vision, a divine message in a dream, however you wish to reach me. I will do whatever you ask.” The poet suddenly had a feeling that he might dream of the god that night, and for other nights to come, divine vision or no. He felt very warm, and blushed. Could the gods tell what a mortal was thinking? Especially if they were in the god’s own temple? He desperately tried to suppress the thoughts that had been bubbling up inside him since he first laid eyes on the statue, on the god’s fair face. Absurd thoughts.

“There are, perhaps, better deities to pray to,” he continued quickly, drowning out his thoughts by speaking, “for poetry specifically. But… I have always been drawn to you above all gods, My Lord. I know you have never answered my devotion with any reward, but… well, you are busy, I’m sure, granting the wishes of playwrights and actors from the cities. And who am I but a humble poet from a town buried in the forest? I… would like your assistance, My Lord, but above all I simply… I simply pray that you hear me. I have come here, to your grand temple, and although I have little to offer…I do have myself. And I want you to know that I am ever your faithful servant. I am yours, body and soul, if you will have me. …Thank you for listening.”

During this last bout of speaking, he had closed his eyes, clutched his hands together, and bowed his head once more. Now he opened his eyes and stood up. He got down off the pedestal and walked back to the front of the statue. Trembling, he looked up at it one last time, and felt the warmth rise again to his cheeks and the tips of his ears. He was so beautiful, and the lowly poet so unworthy…. How dare he ask for anything?? And what’s more, how dare he dream- how dare he entertain the thought even for a moment- that the god would take notice of him as anything more than yet another wish to grant, or more likely, to ignore?

Ashamed of his whole endeavor, the poet turned and left in a hurry, to rejoin his cloud and prepare for his first oration.

—

But the poor mortal did not know the terrible truth! His prayers had not been ignored on purpose. In fact, they simply weren't reaching the long ears of the gods.

They never had.

The poet was well aware of his own ill luck and misfortune. It was a reality he lived with every day, with every verse he spoke. But he had been taught as a child that the gods heard everyone out, no matter how pious or fallen, no matter how glorious or meek. Little did he know, so complete was his curse, that the Fates blocked his messages from ever reaching the holy realm.

Today, though… in that realm, far above the land in which mortals struggled and died…

The Phantom’s eyes opened. He opened his mouth, too, very wide - not in song, but in a mighty yawn - and he stretched his arms and shook his silver hair. 

Then he groaned and flopped backwards again onto his bed. He really needed to stop having drinking contests with Augie. The god of wine always came out on top, of course, but it was a close one, with the sea-god just barely passing out when Phantom was at his limit. The constant beach parties in Pharos Philia, where Augustus made his home among mortals, had trained him well.

The god of theatre, wine and merry-making was feeling anything but merry this morning. Under the dull pounding of his hangover - something to which even the gods were susceptible - he felt a prickling in the back of his mind. He had prayers to listen to.

Of course he did; it was the third day of that damned festival. He had ceased to care about it decades ago. Mortals always followed trends in their work and their lives, and their trends repeated in cycles, each generation thinking they were the first to discover some grand theme or unifying truth about existence. For a short-lived mortal, their little dramas, both those on a stage and those not, always seemed important and new. For a god, it got boring after a while.

And yet… today he had woken up with a strange feeling. A premonition he could not shake.

Perhaps, for the first time in years, he should visit his own festival. In disguise, of course. It wouldn't help his headache, but… he had nothing better to do.

The god closed his eyes, and the eyes of the statue in his grand temple opened, and glowed. He was looking through them.

….But there was no one around to notice. The temple was completely empty.

Of course, Dionysus thought. Of course it was empty. No one was at the festival to actually celebrate or worship him. They were there for their own entertainment or their own glory, as actors and writers, directors and choreographers. Well, he supposed he couldn't blame them. He knew the feeling.

At least this was a choice spot to manifest into the mortal world, then. In a sparkle of gold, a body materialized before the statue- the guise of a mortal rabbid, although notably larger and more rotund than the average. He had given himself legs, and was dressed in an unassuming blue toga, and even transformed his hair into fancy curls and a neat little ponytail, quite different from the messy locks he was normally depicted with. Still, he did not want to alter his inborn beauty too much. He hoped no one would catch on.

He turned around to give a brief glance over the tributes at the base of his statue. There were some finely-wrought objects and pieces of clothing, but still, nothing compared to what he saw every day in the land of the gods. Some mortals had even offered him their mortal play scripts- eurgh, no thank you. But just as he was about to turn away again, his eyes caught a small spot of purple.

He walked over and saw… a bunch of grapes. They looked delicious, and clean, and very fresh. Someone must have left them here quite recently! As far as he was concerned, this was the only useful gift in the collection.

With a smile, the Phantom picked them up, and strode out of the temple, eating the succulent orbs one by one.

#mario plus rabbids #mario + rabbids #phandrow #woodrow #ts woodrow #the phantom of the bwahpera #soh divine au

[abbysanders2000]

I’m not sure if you write smut so if you don’t pls ignore me. Could i PLEASE get some dwayne smut there isn’t enough on this app i’m BEGGING. (but again if you don’t write smut don’t feel pressured at all i don’t wanna make u uncomfy)

-💜💚

Ooo my first Dwayne request as well as my first smut!! I hope I did it justice anon! Only warning below is smut :) Thank you for the ask!! This is my personal opinion on our loveable Dwayne I think he's a big disciplinarian. Especially when it comes to the bedroom. Like he told you not to do something and you did it anyway. Now suffer mwahah!!! Just please be nice as this is my first ever smut :)

Get over my knee (Dwayne x reader Smut!!)

'Shit shit shit shit!!!!' Y/n said in her head mentally cussing herself out as she and Dwayne rode back to her place. He had specifically told her not to go into the Frogs comic shop. Point. Blank. Period.

"Dwayne come on. Their the only place in town that'll have what I'm looking for." She explained. Dwayne shook his head. "No can do princess. Those little shits are a pain every night as it is. I don't want them harassing you." He told her with crossed arms.

Oh but she did not listen. She just had to go in the store. And of course Alan starts harrowing with a book of questions along with Edgar. She of course simply rolled her eyes and went to walk out. That was until Edgar called her and quote "a blood sucking whore" which earned him a good punch to the nose.

As quickly as she hightailed it out of there she were not fast enough to escape a pissed off Dwayne. Now as they pulled up to her place she quickly got off the back of his bike and ran into the house.

"You'd better run." Dwayne growled as he made his way into the house. "I asked you to do one simple thing. Do not go into the comic shop. And what did you do? You went your little ass into the comic shop!" He stomped up the stairs into her bedroom.

A lump was curled up under the covers. Dwayne smirked to himself as he slapped the lump square on the ass. Y/n let out a small yelp. He quickly ripped the covers off of her to find her rubbing her bum.

"Ow... babe that hurt." She whined looking up at him with the famous doe eyes. He poked out his bottom lip to mock her. "Awe I've got some news for you princess. It's about to hurt a lot worse."

She gulped. "Take off your pants and get over my knee." He said sitting on the couch at the end of the bed. Y/n groaned loudly but did as she was told. She knew if she didn't it was going to be a lot worse. She walked over to him slowly.

Dwayne rubbed the soft skin of her butt before he started. "20 and I expect you to count." Was all he said before his massive hand came down on her ass with a loud smack!

Y/n bit her lip as she held in a moan. "1...2. 3. Mhp! 4.." She counted. The slinky material of her panties was now soaked with excitement. No matter how hard she tried to hate it she always got drenched when Dwayne spanked her. And oh boy did he know it too.

"You gonna be a good girl for me or do I need to continue?" He asked when they got to 10. Y/n was stammering over her words as she tried her best to speak. "I can't hear you princess. Your gonna have to speak up."

"I-I'll be good Dwayne.." She finally managed to spit out. He chuckled deeply as he sits her up. "Jeez princess your soaking wet. I'm not even inside you yet and your already making a mess."

She let out a whimper as he placed little kisses up and down her neck. "You want me to take care of you princess? Do you think you deserve it after disobeying me like you did?" His hand slips down to rub her womanhood.

She gasped as the friction of his hand sent tingles up her spine. Her body was craving more and more with each stroke. "OH God. Dwayne please.." She begged as he slowly began pick up his pace. Slowly and surely as if he was teasing her. "I need you. I need you inside of me. I need you to fuck me." She moaned out in a half desperate beg.

"There we go baby girl. That's all you had to say." With one quick move he had her on the bed and his pants and boxers off. He stalked up to her like a lion would stalk prey.

Ever so slightly he slides smoothly into her dripping wet folds. His head dips down to kiss her neck as he begins to thrust. Y/n's eyes rolled to the back of her head as her body entered pure and utter paradise.

Dwayne moved his hips ever so slightly to keep up the rapid pace of thrusts. "Your so wet for me baby. I got you all worked up huh?" He smirked against the skin of her neck. Her hands suddenly went up to grip his shoulders. Her nails slowly slid down his back.

He let out a low hiss as nails dug into his back. "Two can play at this game princess." He said as he grazed his fangs across her skin careful not to puncture it. The sharp ends leaving scratched as they did.

She panted heavily as the bed started to shake. "Fuck babe don't break the bed." She joked. "Trust me pretty girl this bed is going to the least of your worries. By the time I'm done with you your not going to be able to walk straight." He panted.

She barley had time to react before he pushed himself deeper inside of her. She let out a scream of pleasure as he all but touched her cervix. He placed a hand over her mouth.

"Shhhhh calm down princess. We wouldn't want the neighbors calling the cops again now would we?" He as as his dick pulsated inside of her tight wet folds.

She slowly nodded her head. He removed his hand and waited for her rebutted to him. But only the sweet sounds of her moans came out. That was until she managed to squeak out. "K-k-keep going. Fuck my brains out baby."

"OH trust me princess. I fully intend to~"

This onslaught went on for over an hour maybe even more since neither one of them kept up with the time. Y/n was on the brink of exhaustion as she felt her climax or rather her 3rd climax of the evening on the horizon.

"OH God Dwayne I'm close." She moans. He grinned as he looked down at her. "Wait for me baby doll." He winked. Suddenly mixture of their combined climax hit one another causing it to ooze out onto the bed.

Out of breath he slides back out of her and flops down beside of her. He wrapped his arms around her pulling her onto his bare chest.

"Remind me to disobey you more often." Y/n panted as she struggled to catch her breath. Dwayne's dark eyes looked over at her with a glimpse of mischief.

"OH that wasn't even the half of it princess. I've still got a few more rounds in me. And we've got 5 hours before dawn."

#the lost boys 1987 #the lost boys x reader #dwayne x reader #x reader insert #request

[quilna]

I'll be honest, I'm really curious about the god au. anything interesting to share about it? 👀 the idea of Frankenstein just calling Hyde/Jekyll out on being a god is incredibly appealing to me xD

Sorry about responding to this late, I was busy this weekend!

Ah the god au! Honestly my oldest au and one that could probably do with some tweaking and fixing up, especially since it was more than anything an excuse to draw characters in funky god outfits so a lot of aspects were very out of left-field. Not to mention, things in the comic have changed since the au was made but I can tell you what I’ve got!

I wrote a lot of this off of my memory since I've lost a lot of the old posts I made for it (They were banished to the shadow realm for containing my old, awful art) so things might be different now.

So the god system is vaguely based off of a book series called Fly by Night where there are hundreds of gods for every little thing - for example, the patron god of the main character is the god of keeping flies out of jam jars. So the gods in my au have complicated titles for rather small things and often have trouble finding worshippers.

Jekyll, specifically is the god of keeping rabbits out of the garden and he's both a trickster god and a guardian. For those he dislikes, he’ll often open garden gates, invite in pests, etc, but he’ll protect those he likes (for as long as he feels like it).

Eventually he and Lanyon meet while Jekyll is letting pests into his dad’s garden and they end up becoming good friends. However, Lanyon has to go to university and leave Jekyll behind but Jekyll takes a human form and a human name to follow him.

In the process, however, he ends up splitting himself in two. Hyde manifests into a pure trickster god as the god of letting pests into your enemy's garden and Jekyll manifests into an almost full guardian god (besides a bit of lowkey trickery on the side).

While people are very much aware that Hyde is a split-off from the original rabbit god, people aren't aware that Jekyll is that original god. As such, the news eventually gets to Lanyon that the god he once befriended all that time ago has split and he gets worried. While splitting is normal, it's often not exactly something that happens when a god is happy and, worse, he can't find the rabbit god anymore and Hyde's very obviously actively avoiding him.

Jekyll, meanwhile, is aware of none of Lanyon's internal conflict and he wants to make a society for small and little-known gods who aren’t getting enough worship to survive in the hopes of helping them.

Frankenstein is one of the few gods to be considered big. She's the goddess of freezing the dead (rigor mortis) so they don’t return which makes her well-worshipped. With some more recent reveals in the comic, I think I’d say that her title also isolates her a lot. Sure, it’s important to make sure the dead stay dead but it’s still death. Her name is still one that people curse when someone is taken prematurely.

When she arrives at the society, injured by her fight with another god, Moreau, she’s treated like an idol by the other gods. However, she recognises that Jekyll isn’t as human as he appears and assumes that whatever reason a god would have to pretend to be human to lead a society of gods wouldn’t be any good one. On the other hand, she's too injured to directly call him out for this so she spends her time quietly and subtly drawing gods away from his side and back to hers.

Of course, she’s more than a little peeved off when Jekyll is finally revealed and instead of being some terrible god of darkness or evil, she’s literally just caught a rabbit god. She hasn’t even caught one of the more dangerous trickster gods, she’s caught the guy who pretends to be human, asks for people’s hospitality and, whenever people are rude to him back, releases a hoard of rabbits into their garden while cackling and thinks this is the absolute height of mischief.

Being a known trickster god and all, I imagine the reactions from most of the lodgers is just groaning and complaints. It’s pretty standard for them but probably a lot more of a shock for the poor humans like Robert who are outside of the usual god politics and now have to deal with the knowledge that their friend was a god the entire time (Lanyon has a crisis over telling a literal god “Why would anyone give up their future prospects for someone like you?”)

Anyway, it’s vague and I’m not sure I remember every aspect of it but a bunch of small notes:

Griffin is actually a god of evil who once reigned terror over a small town. Joining the society is a form of community service for him to learn his lesson.

Hyde insists that he’s a hare god, not a rabbit god (because hares look creepier and more otherworldly. He’s still a rabbit though and everyone knows it)

Doddle was another trickster god and fully aware of Jekyll’s identity but, by trickster code, kept quiet about the whole deal. It’s very rude to ruin another trickster’s tricks after all.

I can’t remember what titles I gave a lot of the lodgers but I think Flowers was the goddess of keeping moths from eating holes in your clothes?

Hyde very much keeps up Jekyll’s old charade of pretending to be a human and then punishing those who are rude to him with pests in their gardens. Not even pests in their houses or anything, that’s out of his jurisdiction, so if they don’t keep a garden or plants he just has to grumble about it. I imagine at least once, someone who wronged him in the past finally got themselves a house plant and Hyde absolutely leapt on the opportunity immediately, basically flooding them with caterpillars, slugs, and at least one live rabbit just in their actual house because it's close enough to a garden, dammit!

#quilna's asks #god au

[lostrealities0]

Depressed Mikey one shot because I had a rough day and wanted comfort.

TW: missed meals (unintentional), low self-esteem thinking.

It's not heavy but I'll be honest, I have no idea how to gauge it.

Also only minor editing. Let me know if there's any mistakes!

Mikey woke up at noon.

"Shit," he grumbled, flipping onto his other side. Sleepiness stayed with him, despite sleeping for 9 hours. The idea of leaving his bed sounded awful, but after glancing at his alarm clock again, Mikey dragged himself out.

He hated waking up late. All that time, wasted.

Sitting at the edge of his bed, Mikey thought about what to do. It was too late to cook breakfast and lunch was whatever anyone wanted. Clothes, notebooks, and various other things were littered across his bedroom's floor.

To do list:

- clean room

Since Mikey missed breakfast without warning, he should make up for it with an awesome dinner.

To do list:

- clean room

- awesome dinner

Mikey looked at his clock again and sighed. Those too alone would probably take up the rest of the day. Sure, it was only noon, but his room was a mess! Plus, he always gets distracted, so that's gotta be like...3 hours at the very least. And dinner...well, he didn't even know what he was going to make yet, but it was probably going to be a while, and he had to spend time planning it too!

Mikey hated waking up late.

Still feeling groggy, he opened his phone to check social media before cleaning. Several artists that he followed had posted, and he made sure to like and comment on all of their art. Seeing that he got a few new likes and comments made him smile. Mikey wasn't used to getting compliments about his art outside of family, so it always made him feel giddy.

Continuing to scroll, he ended up following a couple more accounts, interacting with various posts and binge reading a comic series or two. Seeing people's stories and characters reminded him of all of his projects.

To do list:

- clean room

- awesome dinner

- webcomic/graphic novel series

- that one art piece

- tv show w/ leo

Stopping himself from adding more, he reminded himself, "Focus on the priorities." Mikey glanced at the time.

It was 2?!

Mikey nearly dropped his phone. "Shit, shit, shit!" He started bouncing his leg aggressively. He just wasted another two hours. His room was still a mess, dinner was unplanned, and now he definitely had no free time.

Nearly lunging out of bed, Mikey began to clean.

Well.

He started to think about cleaning.

There was so much. All the notebooks would have to be separated into their categories. His desk would also have to be cleaned since that's where several things would be put away. Art supplies ranging from epoxy resin to jewelry were scattered everywhere, which also meant he was going to have to figure out where and how to put away his resin stuff since it was new. Speaking of which, his supply shelf was disorganized again but he couldn't fix it because some supplies were still being used.

Mikey closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Start with something easy. He scanned the train car.

Clothes. Clothes were easy.

Laundry bin. Fold. Drawer. Laundry bin. Laundry bin. Drawer. Fold. Fold.

Mikey worked for a total of 10 minutes before someone interrupted him by knocking on his door. He didn't need to hear Raph speak to know it was him. His knock was always gentle, gentler than his other brothers'. It also had a deeper sound due to the size of Raph's fist.

Sure enough, Raph peaked his head in. "You doin' okay, big man?"

"Yep! Just cleaning." Mikey sent his big brother a glowing smile.

Raph was quiet for a moment. "Want to come out for a minute? It's 3 and you haven't eaten yet today."

Mikey froze. 3? No, no, no, no, no, it was just 2! How long had he been thinking.

Raph stepped in a little bit. "Mikey?"

He shook his head. "Sorry. Um, yeah! I can do that."

The blatant concern on his brother's face didn't leave his eyes, but he smiled softly. "Are you sure you doin' okay?"

"Yeah, just tired."

---

Apparently, Mikey could not do that.

Whether it was because of not eating at all that day, accidently eating too fast, stress, or a combination of those, Mikey felt sick. He had returned to his room to continue cleaning when his stomach flared up in pain. After a few minutes of trying to fight through it, Mikey collapsed onto his bed, curling into himself. Almost immediately, his eyes felt heavy.

No! He already slept enough today. He didn't need to waste more time.

But, with his stomach it's not like he could do anything. Mikey texted Leo, who immediately told him to take some ginger pills and try resting.

"Sorry, you're feeling bad Mikey. Anything we can do?" Leo watched as Mikey raided the med bay.

"Thanks, but I'm okay. Just laying down had helped."

Leo eyed him. "Alright. Make sure to take it easy."

Laying back down, Mikey stewed. It was 4 something, his room is hardly better, he hadn't even begun to think about dinner, and now he physically felt awful too.

Sighing, he put on a relaxing playlist and closed his eyes. There was no way he was going to be able to concentrate on doing anything, so might as well take a nap.

---

Mikey woke up disoriented. He was sweaty from all the blankets he piled on himself. Something was coming from his phone. It took him longer than he would like to admit to realize the "something" was the music he had put on. He turned it off.

It was 7.

Mikey felt like crying.

He did absolutely nothing and the day was gone. Completely wasted.

He always wasted his time. Day after day, he would only work on one or two things. The rest of the time was spent goofing off.

Planting his feet on the ground, Mikey stared at his room. It taunted him. All his dreams and interests were displayed. All his failures. He was never going to finish any of those projects.

Wasting time.

Mikey went to stand up but found that he couldn't. His limbs wouldn't move. His body didn't respond.

Tears started forming. Why was it so hard to do this? It was just cleaning his room! All he had to do was pick stuff up and move it!

He didn't move.

Wanting to scream, Mikey started scratching his arms. Why couldn't he do anything?

Half an hour passed before Mikey was able to force himself up.

Focus on the clothes. Just pick up the goddamn clothes. That's it. All he had to do.

Still feeling frozen, Mikey grabbed his headphones and put on one of Donnie's playlists. It was a loud one, electronic and noisy. He typically didn't like webcore and related genres, but Donnie had said that he liked listening to this because it quieted his mind. It was overstimulating, but that was the point. According to him, it allowed him to work without the burden of thinking.

Each step taken was a battle in his mind, but he made it to the clothes. Just pick them up. It's so easy. Stop wasting time.

Mikey grabbed them. Sighing from relief of actually doing something, he folded. Music blasted in his ears. He thoughts felt muffled, not completely gone but out of the way.

To do list:

- clean room

- awesome dinner

-webcomic/graphic novel series

- novel

- tv show w/ leo

- thank Donnie for playlist

In no time, all the clothes were put away. Mikey looked for something else that was easy.

Books. Those just had to be put on the bookshelf. He could do that.

Done. What next?

Notebooks just had to be sorted and put away, that's easy. He moved them all to his bed. There were two categories: desk or shelf. The important ones are put in his desk for easy access while the others are put on the shelf.

Project - desk. Random interest - shelf. Random interest - desk.

Once he was done, Mikey picked up the desk notebooks before freezing. His desk was a disaster. He would need to clean that before he could put these away.

He would have to figure out what to do with the various notes and papers. More books were in a stack, with a box of snacks on top. His laptop had his drawing tablet, mouse and headphones on top, with wires everywhere. Pens, pencils and some coloring books were there too.

Mikey sat down on his bed.

It was okay. Just focus on one thing at a time. The shelf notebooks could still be put away.

Raph knocked on his door again as he carried them.

"Wow, you've done a great job Mikey!"

Mikey thought that was generous, considering all the stuff still on his floor. Sure, it was better, but it wasn't clean.

"Thanks, Raphie!"

Not wanting to freak out in front of his brother, Mikey ignored the desk problem and chose his skating gear to put away instead.

Raph sat on his bed. "Whatcha listenin' to?"

Mikey shrugged, "Some music."

Mistake number 1. Mikey always played music on speakers unless he was dealing with something. He had specific playlists for certain moods, and his brothers always picked up on it.

Case in point, Raph frowned. Mikey ignored it and picked up a book he had missed earlier. "Can I listen too?" Raph asked.

Mikey moved his snack box to his bed and picked up the stack of books on his desk. "I don't think you'd like it. It's one of Donnie's playlists."

Mistake number 2. Mikey didn't like that kind of music, except for a few songs.

Raph sighed. "Mikey...what's going on? You've been in your room all day and you seem tense. You know you can talk to me, right?"

"Yeah, I know," Mikey quietly said. "I'm just a little frustrated, that's all."

He watched as Raph got up to grab Dr. Feeling's glasses, putting them on after returning to his spot. He didn't say anything, but the look on his face was full of encouragement. Mikey sighed and sat next to him. He told Raph about sleeping in. He told him about his plans. He told him what happened. He told Raph everything.

"I can't do anything!"

"Woah, that's a big thing to say. You can do lots'a things Mikey. You can paint and draw. You're an amazing cook-"

"Good that did today."

Raph was silent for a moment. "It's not your job to cook for us. If you aren't feelin' up to it, it's okay."

"But I wanted to cook!" Mikey's eyes stung and he looked away. "I want to do things! But when I try, I freeze! I sit and sit and sit doing nothing. Not just today. Everyday. I'm always wasting time, doing nothing."

"What? Mikey, you literally made an incredible drawing yesterday! And the day before that, you were working on your thing with Leo!"

"Those were the only things I did though. The rest of the time, I was just goofing off."

Mikey was suddenly pulled into a hug. "You don't need to be workin' all day. Hell, you don't need to work at all. What's important is if you're doin' what makes you happy, whether it's one of your stories or playin' video games all day."

Tears flowed from Mikey's eyes as he melted into the embrace. He felt Raph softly rubbing his shell. "We love you, Mikey. I love you, and I'll always be here for you."

#rottmnt mikey #rottmnt michelangelo #rottmnt raph #rottmnt raphael #sunset duo #raph and mikey #rise mikey #rise raph #rottmnt #save rottmnt #save rise of the tmnt #rottmnt writing #depressed mikey #my wrtitng #rise of the tmnt #hurt/comfort

[themuskrater]

I just played and finished Gotham Knights for the first time

And I have a LOT of thoughts. I might go in depth on certain things in other posts, but I want to kinda go over my general thoughts and feelings about this game. Spoilers ahead for:

First things first, if you want this to be "Arkham: Gotham Knights", you are going to leave very disappointed. The game's reception was hurt pretty bad by comparisons it to the Arkham series. Arkham is a masterpiece. Gotham Knights is very good at what it wants to accomplish, but comparing it to Arkham feels unfair. I mean...I'm gonna do it anyways, but I'll compare them with the intention that the Arkham games and Gotham Knights set out to accomplish two different things

The Good:

•By far, the best aspect of this game is the scripted moments between the Batfamily. This game features Nightwing (Dick Grayson), Batgirl (Barbara Gordon), Red Hood (Jason Todd), Robin (Tim Drake), and Alfred. It's very clear this is the aspect the developers put the most focus into and it really pays off. It gives me the same feeling as reading "Batman: Wayne Family Adventures". If you just want to see the Batfamily interact and support each other, you're gonna love this game

•While it took me a while to get used to, I really fell in love with the art direction of this game. The skyline of Gotham City is gorgeous. I love the way the bright neon signs illuminate the low hanging fog giving everything a sort of colorful haze. And while I don't love every suit design, I think the customization let's me really like most of them. Batman especially looks really great in this game. His suit in this game is inspired by his look in the Rebirth comics and it translates beautiful

The Bad:

• I'm genuinely confused by the characterization of Mr. Freeze in this game. His motivations are all over the place to the point that I wonder if WB Montréal decided to combine Victor and Nora Fries into one character. At the beginning of the Mr. Freeze side mission, it's explained that Mr. Freeze had given up crime because Batman had promised to help develop a cure for his condition, but now that Batman is gone, he's back at it. Victor doesn't normally care about his own illness, he just wants a cure for Nora. But Nora is never mentioned in this game. Even weirder, nothing he does in the story is ever to cure his condition. SO WHY DID HE STOP CRIME IN THE FIRST PLACE IF HE DOESN'T EVEN CARE ABOUT FINDING A CURE AND HE JUST WANTS TO FREEZE GOTHAM!? It's just a weird creative decision to take

•Yeah so this one isn't a big deal, but at one point in the story, a cat sneaks into The Belfry and the Batfamily just kind of adopt it. It stays there for the rest of the game. You can't pet the cat. I know this isn't important, but it actually made me genuinely sad when I found this out

The Ugly:

•To call this game underdeveloped would be a compliment. I wouldn't call it unpolished, because the game runs perfectly as intended in my experience. I didn't encounter a single bug or crash. But the story and the gameplay feel half-baked, which really sucks considering those are the two main aspects of a video game

•In the gameplay department, combat is passable but the skill ceiling is REALLY low. It reallys very restrictive in what you're actually able to do, but the combat by itself isn't so bad that it isn't fun.

Traversal on the other hand is awful. All the characters use a grapple to get around, but there's no momentum, so you feel like you're barely moving. You stop and lose all momentum between grapples. Arkham also has a grapple gun but it allowed you to string multiple grapple points and keep your momentum through them so they'd be more fluid and you keep your speed going

The Batcylce is also not great. It's REALLY slow and despite the added movement lines around the screen to provide the illusion of speed, you're barely moving faster than the cars on the road. Again, compare this to the Batmobile in Arkham Knight. I did not love the Batmobile in Arkham Knight, and I outright hated the Riddler races, but it was fast and you could really feel the speed in it

Finally you don't actually unlock the ability to glide or any of the other weird traversal abilities if you're playing as anyone other than Nightwing or Batgirl until you complete the Knighthood challenges. Locking an essential traversal ability behind an option set of challenges is weird to say the least. I don't have much to say about gliding, it controls fine but feels slow compared to Arkham

•Lastly, the story of this game isn't bad for what is is, but is disappointing when you realize it had the potential to be so much better by including two characters who are absent from this game: Kate Kane Batwoman and Damian Wayne Robin. The game is set up as a sort of gang war between the The League of Assassins lead by Talia Al Ghul and The Court of Owls lead by Jacob Kane. Both of their child are members of the batfamily, but were weirdly excluded from this game. Including them as playable characters could have made the conflict more personal and interesting.

Additionally, Catherine Kane, Kate Kane's step-mother, is the current anti-vigilante Commissioner of the GCPD. Her daughter being Batwoman would be great character drama that goes completely unexplored. As is, Catherine is a one dimensional, underdeveloped character. And Damian could be shown as torn between the recent death of his father and the re-emergence of his mother in Gotham City. These characters feel like obvious inclusions for the story of this game but are missing without any explanation

In Conclusion:

This game has a lot working against it. I couldn't even fit half of my thoughts into this already way too long rant. The game is just average in the gameplay, mediocre in the story, but absolutely phenomenal in the inter-character relationships. I compared it to Wayne Family Adventures earlier, and if you love stuff like that and want more of the Batfamily being supportive and wholesome to each other, you'll love this game. And I think that's genuinely the main appeal of Gotham Knights. But if you're not interested in the characters and just want a Batman action game, it's passable, but you'd be better off playing any of the Arkham games

#batman #gotham knights #nightwing #batgirl #red hood #robin #red robin #alfred pennyworth #gotham #rant #dc #arkham asylum #arkham knight #arkham city #arkham origins #arkham #arkham series #gaming #video games #batman games #dick grayson #barbara gordon #jason todd #tim drake #kate kane #damian wayne #court of owls #league of assassins #spoilers #spoiler