#but i do kinda genuinely just imagine him looking like some dude in that version | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

weebsinstash · 7 months

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Babe! A new Helluva Boss episode just dropped! And Ozzie and Fizz are just so goddamn cute! 😍😭 and Ozzie is such a sweetheart! (I hope he’s genuinely such a softie and not playing an act, we need more softie demons).

Can we please talk about Yandere! Ozzie again? Pretty please with a shit ton of sprinkles on top? 🥺

Bestie thank youuuu I watched that shit immediately and I have so many thoughts

This episode actually shows a big reason why I haven't really published a lot for like, Ozzie or Valentino in terms of actual fics because, my take on Ozzie's personality based purely off his debut appearance would've been a lot more different and now we see that, bro he's, suave yeah, but also, a huge green flag lovable cinnamon roll dork??? Valentino, we only have seen so much of. To be honest the way he's been presented seems to sway from "scary as fuck during gangster business stuff" to "he's kind of a ratchet ho, actually" and I'm not, entirely super confident writing stuff for him because like, I'm more of, assuming? I can't, analyze his character like I can for other characters with more material out for them.

For real though, my current stance on this matter is: Asmodeus, you could go to him and ask for his knowledge and advice on like genuine issues or things you're curious or concerned about like, legit you could sit down and have STD talks with this man ("h-hey Ozzie is it normal to have xyz on my you know what" "oh honey yes that's just like a blood blister from friction you're fine" "oh my god ok good because I was worried it was cancer" "HONEY NO 😩") meanwhile fucking Valentino over here would be like "bitch why you got cellulite" and like make backhanded comments like, oh maybe he could reward you with a boob job instead of your next paycheck (as in like, cosmetic surgery 💀 you know I've thought about that? Yan Valentino who's crazy for ya but, not crazy enough to not make certain, tweaks to your actual body. Maybe he dyes your hair or has it styled a specific way and basically refuses to let you do whatever you want with it. Gets your boobs or ass done. Makes you get fillers/botox for any wrinkles/static lines. Controlling your wardrobe is a must. You're like his little.... pursedog)

(That being said though. I'd still let him hit 😩 reader who gets drunk and fucks around and finds out--)

Anyways though, over here in our corner we believe in unapologetic self indulgence and I still believe a Reader who has magical abilities or powers and whatnot and can travel the rings through whatever convoluted means is a fun time. So. We're gonna do that! I mean. Asmodeus honestly seems chill enough that even if you like, somehow crashed into his club, as long as you were polite and respectful, he'd be chill with letting your hang around, maybe even getting a kick out of teasing you (but never pushing anything too far unless you show interest, and if you show any discomfort or trauma he backs off to re-strategize). I imagine his club would actually be pretty fun? Drinks, live music, although, kind of makes me wonder, how openly horny is this place? Probably not like "coochie in your face" like working for Valentino, so, Reader could even be all "honestly this is such a much more safe welcoming environment to engage in like sexuality" and Ozzie hears this and its like, dude. You might as well have just struck him through the heart with cupids own arrow, but, also, he's curious, what other places have you been?

I'm kind of convinced that if a little imp cunt like Crimson thinks he has the balls to stand up against Ozzie, hostage or not, I kinda feel like. Valentino would probably openly treat Asmodeus like shit. He'd probably be a catty fucking bitch to him. He probably looks at Ozzie as like, a diet coke version of himself, a version who has so much power but doesn't go far enough, and probably scoffs at Asmodeus' romantic attachment (even though Val has some weird on-off thing with Vox himself). Valentino doesn't give two fucks about consent and would probably openly mock Ozzie'e values

Or. They could be big business partners because, maybe there's some sort of inter-Ring porn trafficking pipeline or something, smuggling the good shit up from Lust and trading it with stuff from Sinners, who have more visual variety besides other perks etc

But just picture, Asmodeus and Fizz are, minding their own biz, at the club, chilling, listening to music, eating food vaguely shaped like clocks, and Ozzie's cell rings, and they're both like "aw I bet Reader's calling to say they're having fun at that party or whatever" but they answer it and you're like, hiding in the bathroom or a closet or something, crying, whispering under your breath "d-do you still have a place for me to stay like you said before 🥺 Valentino is really, REALLY drunk tonight and he's really scaring me, he grabbed me and--"

They're both at your exact location in like less than 5 minutes and maybe have to play it off, Ozzie distracting Val while Fizz steals you away, or, juicier, like. Imagine Val snatching your phone from your hand, going through your messages, "who the fuck have you been talking to?" And he pulls like the classic abusive boyfriend move and when he sees you're in frequent contact with someone named "Ozzie" he calls him from your phone and as soon as a male voice picks up, they're both going at it "bitch who the fuck are you?" "Bitch who the fuck are YOU?" "Why you got my baby's number?" "Why do YOU have MY baby's PHONE???" "I'm about to HAVE my foot up your ass, you--" like, you know what I mean? Asmodeus is rolling up and these two are all but butting heads with each other as you have to awkwardly explain how you know both of them and of course, suddenly there's a not quite comfortable conversation about which one of them you... "belong to", neither of them wanting to leave you with the other (although I imagine in a physical fight Asmodeus would win but Valentino would have homefield advantage involving his security dudes)

Either way like.... oh my god watching them lounge in that nice big bed together. Fizz being on Ozzie's chest, like. Give me that 😩😩😩 "oh Reader, baby, so glad you took up our offer for a place to crash, but, since it was so short notice it'll have to be with us tonight" type shit and like you're fine with that but then bedtime comes and. There's Literally Only One Bed. And you're like ok you know what I'm not really in a position to be ungrateful, Valentino could have actually fucking hurt me or trafficked me or whatever, but, you're still small enough that Asmodeus could hypotheticallyyyy just, reach an arm over and scoop up you into his chest for a cuddle, or just have you in the crook of his arm like a cat or a teddy bear. Ozzie definitely sees an immediate perk on Fizz not being so much of a troll as to give you the airhorn treatment your first morning there, so, obviously, they have, multiple motivations to, keep urging you to stay 👀 after all, Val is going to be looking for you in the Pride Ring, and you don't have any other friends, so, you're kind of stuck with their whims aren't you? Unless you try to run off on your own, and I mean. Really. They can just hire someone to bring you back lmao. Or get you themselves. Could you imagine feeling way you uncomfortable around them and slipping away and suddenly you find a little white demon dog on wheels happily rolling up to you out of nowhere and it's. Fucking tracking you for Fizzarolli and Asmodeus, like. Damn, can't even trust the dogs in Hell. Demon dogs in Ohio be like

Anyways idk I just like the idea of like. Combining several ideas, you do the whole "accidentally did the whole Death Fall From The Sky and crash into Vals sunroof, he keeps you in servitude because you have to repay him, eventually you Fall into Lust and you start basically doing double jobs at both clubs and prefer Ozzie and he eventually has to rescue you". Also like Valentino "canonically" humiliates his partners on social media so I can imagine he's just publicly belittling and negging you all the time. One second you're happy at Ozzie's listening to music and eating unholy amounts of onion rings with your quirky well intentioned clown friend, the next week Asmodeus sees a Sinstagram post where Valentino is just like "cutie was whining she couldn't get any tips so I helped her out 😜🤭🍈🍈" and its just. A photo of you in your work uniform where he clearly just reached forward and tore open the front of your blouse and he is just. Full on deadass without any hint of irony making you basically work in your bra and he's just without any remorse posting photos of your running mascara and you're clearly crying but what can you do?

Val posting a photo of him literally shoving a tip INTO your bra, his FINGERS in there, and other like little clips and snippets of him demeaning you while you're like actually fucking blubbering "and make sure to get me extra ice!" "*sobbing noises*" "I didn't hear a REPLY! Do I need to take some of those nice tips I'm helping you make?" "N n noOo I'm sorry" "sorry WHAT?" "M sorry mister Valentino, I'm sorry, I'll get your drink right away mister Valentino" and Val is just slapping your ass HARD as you turn to leave like and just laughing like this is the most fun he's ever had

like I feel like Asmodeus realistically would only be able to do so much IN Pride itself (because would You show up in your boss' turf doing your own shit? Big risk) BUT, I mean. You go down to Lust and you're basically fair game. You show up to your next shift after The Boob Incident and Ozzie's like "giiiiiiiirl imma keep it real with you, I know you wanna try and be independent but I got some concerns--" and he's barely even halfway through it before you're just, TEAR EXPLOSION, "i hate working for him, I HATE IT, I wanna work HERE full time, but I don't have a place to staAaaAaay" and just. Some UGLY crying because you're at wits end

Zero hesitation here's Asmodeus "Sweetie what kind of apartment do you want??? You want a penthouse? I can get you a penthouse?? You want some shopping money?? Tell Big O whatever you need." and the next thing you know Valentino is scrolling through Sinastagram and has to do a double take as your account starts posting all kinds of photos of you looking cute and having fun and, poolside in a bathing suit and you're becoming more comfortable with your body and your sexuality and, he's thirsty absolutely, goes to try and tease you or make fun of you and you're just like "you wanna fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid" and just ignore him as Val is forced to watch you pal around with Asmodeus (either as just friends or total fuck buddies like, deadass catch me out here "hey so, there's this position I've always wanted to try--")

#yandere x reader #yandere hazbin hotel #yandere stuff #sinprompts #yandere helluva boss #idk do i even. tag this series. idk.#you can tell this shits been in my drafts

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alexiswritingstuff · 10 months

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(THIS IS A REPOST BECAUSE THE LAST VERSION GOT MESSED UP, SORRY FOR ANY CREATED EXCITEMENT!!)

Now, I know I’ve said this for many things, but I genuinely got carried away with this that when I had the idea for the plot... I kinda forgot that the anon had requested something cute with fluff, so... I hope the ending does it justice.

Either way, thank you for sending this in. I hope you like it!

Removal of the Mask.

Pairing: Gustavo Fring x gn! reader.

Other appearances: Mike Ehrmantraut, though only mentioned.

Request: I had an idea for another Gus fic! I just want him to finally break , mask off and just actually let himself show emotion and be upset with the reader comforting him or something? I just need cute and fluffy stuff with him in my life. Poor dude just needs a shoulder to cry on

Content: angst with comfort and fluff.

Warnings: fighting, gunshot, injuries, descriptions of a hospital.

Be aware of spelling errors and mistakes! I do go read through my fics before posting them, but I always managed to miss some!

A/N: I don’t know if it’s just the way I perceive Gustavo, but I genuinely can’t think of him just... crying. You know, like, maybe with tears in his eyes, but the only way I was able to imagine it was like if something close to a major trauma happened. So, I guess that’s what influenced my idea for this.

Also this fic may be really long, so buckle up, hydrated yourself and grab a snack.

More Gustavo fics.

Taglist-

@sukunamybeloved - @viviennemuerte - @miwagila - @marksassybanana

The sun was high in the sky. Everything beneath felt the presence, including you as beads of sweat trailed down wherever it could on your body.

You were leant against the side of your car, though not very still in the unbearable heat. “Where the hell is this guy?”

The problem with doing these deals, exchanges, or something along those lines was that they had to be done in unknown places. Areas where there weren’t other people around who could possibly witness something they shouldn’t.

That usually meant abandoned properties, or having to travel miles into the vast desert.

And for this particular meet-up.

It was both.

You sniffed, a rising sense of irritation building as you twisted your wrist to lay eyes on the watch strapped to it. Five minutes late. No one in this business risked being five minutes late, especially if it could end up being more.

No one had been told that it was going to be you instead of Gustavo that they were going to be meeting with today either, so in theory, these people were laying back on him. Making him seem like a fool with the need to wait alone in the desert.

But it was you.

And you were not the slightest bit happy.

Just as your arm lowered, hand angrily smacking back to the car door behind you, there was a revving sound that hummed across the landscape. And upon looking up, your eyes found a moving cloud of dust just over one of the minor hills.

“Ballsy.”

You pushed yourself off of your car, adopting a straightened stance the way a bodyguard would.

Despite wanting to present yourself like Gustavo would- arms tight by the sides, chin raised, head basically unmoving unless needing to provide a form of intimidation- when the car had finally rolled into the lot, your arms were just crossed over your chest.

It may have made you like an angry toddler, but there was nothing more unnerving than the ultimate death stare you shot the driver as he exited the vehicle which had finally stilled.

“You’re not Gustavo.”

That was the first thing he said.

After turning up late, and looking like he didn’t even bother to dress himself accordingly... That was it? He even had this narrowed gaze when he began to take a few steps in your direction.

“I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that it was the traffic that made you late... Am I right?” You hadn’t moved an inch, just simply watched the man as he ultimately decided to settle on keeping a good distance.

His hands lowered to his hips while his eyes flickered to the horizon, his head mildly nodding as if he couldn’t figure out what to say. But it looked more like he didn’t care.

“Okay,” you began, finally letting your arms fall to your sides, “Let’s not waste anymore time then.”

“Do you have them?”

The mans attention snapped back to you after he rocked on his heels for a moment, his stance unchanging much like his gaze, “It was supposed to be Mr. Fring that I met with.” There was a slight southern drawl to his words, a sound that slowly became vicious the more he spoke, “Where is he?”

Your voice stayed the same despite the irritation that began to take back its place, “I believe we’re old enough to carry out an exchange ourselves, don’t you think?”

There was a good few seconds of strong eye contact. One that closely resembled the kind of stand off you would see in old western movies.

But eventually, his head lowered when you held no reaction to his persistence, even stilled it there when he spat out a glob of spit onto the sandy dirt below.

And then he turned, walking back to the car with a flurry of emotions that visibly affected the way his legs moved.

Your expression was stern as you watched him regardless of the fact that he couldn’t see it, a weird feeling now residing in your chest from the previous actions. I mean, it was like a want. An insistence of Gustavo’s whereabouts.

Gustavo was a businessman. He was the owner of something so large that he couldn’t possibly be everywhere at once, or be the one to do things all the time, so it was more common for other people, like you or Victor, even Mike, to be the ones at exchanges. Especially if the outcome wasn’t something that heavily impacted the business.

Hell, you were just trying to collect new versions of equipment that had been busted from too much usage, this whole interaction had been strange from the get-go.

He had been late, wanted to speak to no one other than Gustavo, despite the fact that the needed task was just handing over the machines, so that you could give him the money in return.

Even with the amount of thoughts that were running through your mind, in the next moment, it seemed that by the time your attention had refocused the realisation of a problem came a bit too late.

The man, who you still didn’t know the name of, had arrived at the side of his car. But instead of moving to the back, where you were assuming was the equipment covered by that tarp, he had stilled at the window of the passenger seat.

You couldn’t exactly pull a machine through a window now could you?

Just as you had retrieved your gun from your belt, and was so close to properly gripping it in your hand, a shot rang through the vast area.

It snagged the weapon, narrowly missing your fingers in the process, and you immediately retracted your hand, watching in mild shock as it fell to the sand below.

Damnit. He’s trained.

Unlike what the rest of your body wanted to do in that moment, your legs sprang into action like your life depended on it. Because it in fact did this time.

You swerved, dodged and weaved as bullets began to pang off of walls and the empty shells of cars that were just left, clouds of dust beginning to gather in the air the further you went.

Situations like this weren’t exactly unusual. Contact with other business went sideways more than anyone would really like to admit, hence the need to carry weapons at all times.

The only difference now was that you were the direct target.

You rounded the corner of the closest part of the abandoned building, heart pounding in your chest, your ears, and chorusing with the bullets that continued to fire despite not even being in view anymore.

Your feet skidded to a stop, your eyes frantically searching through the area for some kind of hiding spot or at least something that would give you time to make a plan.

But just as you made a decision, that would’ve at least lead you to your next option if it went sideways, a shot echoed through the surrounding walls.

A sound uncontrollably escaped your throat. Your body jolted, knees eager to bend as you staggered forwards, a sense of determination bubbling in your system more than it ever had.

However, before you could have even prepared, something collided with the middle of your back with full intent.

It sent you tumbling forward. Your knees were the first to connect with the ground below until your hands followed, the sand beginning to roast the pads of your fingers.

But of course, due to the combination of your lack of ability to comprehend the situation, and an increasing pain somewhere in your side, you couldn’t keep yourself stabilised for long.

You fell on your stomach, the exhaustion from the heat finally creeping in the last moment that it needed to.

“Listen,” you croaked out after a cough, still trying to pull yourself towards your chosen hiding spot despite the inability to basically move, “You want-- You want Gustavo, right? Why not… You can’t get to him if you kill-- kill me.”

There was no point in bargaining. You knew that. You knew that this was pre-planned, and that it in fact was meant for Gus.

But they could easily settle on the next best thing if the intent was to impact him.

And you were right.

Each of your legs were grasped in either of his hands within the next second, and before you could grab the sand beneath you, even if your fingers would’ve immediately sunk through, he began pulling you towards him.

In the blink of an eye, your body got flipped over, your spine now slamming into the sand. An indescribable pain seared through your side, and despite the urge to arch your back as if it would get you away from the feeling, your eyes went wide. And you swung, arm aimed at the first body part that was close enough.

His gun fell to the side.

There was a yell of annoyance that bellowed from the man above, and when you tried to move a fist decided to meet with your face in a way that had your ears purely ringing.

It was almost like your brain was forgetting basic functions. You could barely remember how to move your eyes, or even breathe, for a terrifying few seconds.

You had previously thrashed in a way that made the man falter, almost losing his balance. It wasn’t until he was trying to push himself to stand that something managed to form in your head.

Your legs trapped his own despite their weakness and while the man battled with a pair of limbs, cursing in ways that you couldn’t imagine, your hand subtly moved to the side, gliding across the surface of the sand.

Until they met with metal.

The vision through your eyes was blurry from the previous attacks and now from the direction off the sun that beamed right on you. But somehow you still managed to find your aim.

The man twisted back round when he heard that familiar click and his eyes widened as much as they physically could, “No--”

The shot echoed more times that you could count, bouncing off of every possible surface, through the building and on the walls like a game of ping pong.

And then something slumped, falling to the side almost in slow motion until it collided with the ground.

You got him.

All at once the adrenaline rush slowed and the pain in your face, with a sort of burning sensation somewhere else in your upper body, intensified so much that you could barely move.

A shaky whine pushed through your lips as you began to pat around your torso, trying to find the large source of pain.

And then you got to your left side.

It seems that he got you first.

“Shit.” you seethed through gritted teeth and lowered your increasingly weak arm back down to let your hand gain access to a pocket. Your fingers dug through the fabric compartment, grabbed at a device before, unsteadily, pulling it out.

There was no way that you would be able to sit up so you did your best to lift the phone in front of your face, but even when it was flipped open, your vision shook with your heaving chest.

It felt like years had passed by the time you had managed to push a certain order of buttons in, and as soon as it began to ring, you let it drop, your arm smacking into the ground next to your side.

Finally, there was an answer.

The phone hadn’t landed that far away from your head, but it was enough so that when a voice crackled through the speaker, you couldn’t hear it over the sound of your heartbeat and the ragged breaths that rasped from your throat.

You coughed, “Hey, Mike. You, uh… You’re not busy, right?” Your voice was strained despite how hard you were trying to play off your injuries, but when you put pressure on the most important wound to limit the blood loss. It was a little hard to maintain.

“It’s not been a very nice tea party.”

The surrounding room would’ve been quiet if it wasn’t for the monotonous beeps from machines that sounded more hypnotic as time went on.

The lighting was dull, barely reflecting off of the walls, with no help from the world outside as by now it had apparently grown dark. Though, due to the ache that consumed almost every part of your head, it made you very grateful.

Your gaze was set on the window on the other side of the room, one used so that doctors could see their patients at any given time if they weren’t able to hear them first.

Gustavo had arrived, stood in the brighter hallway and talking to a doctor you were still getting use to interacting with yourself.

The expression on his face was a mixture of the one he held when interacting with the general public and this intensity that would be difficult for other people to notice upon first glance.

But not you.

After almost every sentence spoken by the doctor, the man had sent a glance your way. A look that could almost make you feel exactly how he did, regardless of the fact that it wasn’t fully readable.

And before there was even an attempt to try, you found yourself breaking the eye contact, sinking the back of your head further into your pillow as it seemed that your mind only now was capturing onto the fact that you were indeed awake.

From what you could hear from the muffled conversation going on outside, and what you had been previous told, the bullet had luckily missed major arteries or organs that would’ve cost everything if hit.

But even so, especially now that it had been removed, that didn’t mean it wasn’t still going to hurt like hell.

You had been issued pain medication at a time that couldn’t be remembered off the bat, but it seemed that it hadn’t met the 30 minute mark yet. Meaning that it wasn’t properly in your system.

By the time your eyes focused back through the window, Gustavo had a smile stiffly pressed onto his lips. The two of them were shaking hands, sharing words that you couldn’t quite catch, and then the doctor turned, resuming the work they were previously doing before he had arrived.

In that moment, the emotion held on Gustavo's face had disappeared by the next time your heavy eyelids had allowed themselves to blink. It was almost like he was in a trance for a good second, his eyes unfocused as they stared off down the hallway.

And then he snapped back.

This time when he faced the room, his attention never went to you. He simply opened the door, walked through and then closed it behind himself. A movement that engulfed the surrounding area in a quietness that even the machines couldn’t help.

He stood closer to the back wall than the edge of your bed. His body was still, stance almost like a soldier, as his gaze remained aimed at whatever was in front of him. You really wished you could read minds.

“Have the doctors updated you on your condition?”

Despite the small room, there was a lack of fullness to his voice. Like it was from somewhere in the distance even though he was right there.

“Yeah,” The grogginess from waking up not that long ago was still fresh in your system even with the activeness of your mind, so when you attempted to shuffle yourself to get a better view of Gustavo you had barely even moved. “Though I could’ve make an educated guess anyway.”

His response was a mere hum, still remaining in the same position as before. It was a thing that made your eyebrows twitch, unsure if he had even meant to make that sound in the first place.

“I would’ve had you put in a more private place, but... I was was told there wasn’t enough time.” That was when he moved for the first time since entering the room. His head lowered, eyes now cast down to his shoes like they were the most interesting thing in the room. “I know you don’t like hospitals.”

Your gaze moved upwards as you turned your head towards the ceiling, a huff of air passing through your lips, “Well, I already had the surgery... Just need to be patient now.”

“I wish there were better channels on these TVs though,” you then added, attempting to break the tension surrounding every corner in the room, but when you moved your head again, you found Gustavo starting to walk.

His steps were almost silent despite what his shoes were made of. He moved slow, precise even if his attention wasn’t on the floor anymore.

And soon Gustavo had arrived at the window that looked out onto the world below. You had no idea what floor you were on but it was most likely about halfway as the sound of cars could still be heard, though a bit muffled.

Somehow the more time he spent facing away from you, the more a nervousness began to ignite within your chest.

The way he was acting was something you had only seen when he was disappointed. Upset about how a situation had gone enough so that he needed time to compose himself before speaking.

So, even if most of your body couldn’t be bothered to move, you found a way to fidget.

You stared at the wall on the other side of your bed. A multitude of fresh thoughts and worries swarming your mind in a way that was almost suffocating, until they couldn’t be contained anymore.

You cleared your throat, finally finding your voice despite the utter dread of doing so. “I’m sorry.”

The sound of the heart monitor could literally be heard speeding up as your words fully settled through the air.

“Pardon?”

Your eyes may have still been aimed at the wall, but from the corner, you could see Gustavo twist away from the window. An action that didn’t at all help your nerves.

The next time you took a breath, you had almost gulped, “I realised what had been planned too late.”

“If that had happened anywhere else, I could’ve ruined the business... Lost progress.”

It was only when a new worry, the realisation of another action that had the possibility of many consequences, that you found the ability to actually look at Gustavo, “You got the machines, right?”

His brows were furrowed enough that the skin surrounding them was intensely crinkled, his eyes narrowed in a disbelief that you had never seen him display.

“You have nothing to be sorry for, Y/n.” was all he managed for a moment, his voice going back to that lack of fullness that in turn had your eyebrows furrowing. “Did they tell you what happened? Everything?”

“You were injured during a job I set for you.” His eyes were wider now, the once clouded look within them forming into a sense of clarity though the disbelief still remained.

“And I could’ve ruined everything.” The emotions each of you felt were clashing, the brain working in the wonderous ways it always did as you both had very different viewpoints of the situation. The hard part was getting the other to understand why.

“There is a lot more important things than machines, Y/n.” Gustavo pointed out and took a few steps forward so that he was further from the window.

There was a sense of annoyance now travelling through your tired system, the irritation built up over the entire day officially starting to spark, “Which is exactly why I am trying to apologise.”

“For what? Not knowing that you were going be attacked?”

You shook your head, breaking the intense eye contact as your gaze went back to the ceiling.

Arguing was the last thing that you wanted to do right now. You were tired, weak, hungry, and now had an anger that was eager to erupt.

Two people at fault but both only thinking that one is.

After a few moments of being absorbed by those monotonous beeps again, a deep sigh could be heard. Even though you couldn’t see him anymore, it was clear that he had finally allowed his shoulders to lower. Deflate. “You got hurt.”

“Well, I think I know that, Gus.” you blurted out as your mouth seemed to be faster than your brain. Something that you immediately regretted. “Look...” You raised your head again, your hands subconsciously gliding to where your bandages grasped to your skin, “What happened... Happened.”

“It’s over... Okay-- It doesn’t matter anymore.”

It was a sentence meant to ease the situation. Words formed in a eagerness to get this whole thing over and done with, because you were quite frankly over it yourself, wanting nothing more than to fall into an incredibly deep sleep.

But all it did was make the lines of Gustavo’s face more prominent. The look across it formed into an expression that almost mimicked offense. “Doesn’t... Doesn’t matter-- Listen to yourself.”

“Why aren’t you taking this situation more seriously?”

“Well, did you get what you were after?” you questioned, trying to find at least some form of middle ground that you could then use to clear this whole thing up.

Gustavo scoffed, “I can’t believe you.” He turned himself around again, adopting the same stance from before as he stared through the window.

Your eyebrows were furrowed as much as they possibly could at this point, “Why? This isn’t the first time that something like this has happened, Gus-- Hell, it will happen again.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“It can’t.”

“What do you-- What do you mean it can’t, Gustavo?” you huffed out, the sound almost becoming gargled as you began to push yourself to sit up. But you were determined to ignore the pain pulsing in your side. A deep breath shook through your lips when you got upright.

You carefully began to shuffle yourself backwards, trying to lean more comfortably against the bed, and only made an attempt to speak when you had fully decided your positioning, “The more we progress, the more likely stuff like this is going to take place. You of all people should know that--”

“You almost died!”

It felt like time had stopped for a good minute.

The sound had rung longer than the sentence itself, but you couldn’t tell if it was just the way your mind attempted to process it, or if it was really that loud.

Gustavo had faced you once again, only this time there was this active rage that covered almost every visible inch of him in a way that heavily contrasted the usual stoicism.

It was barely seen, but it looked like his shoulders lowered and raised with every breath. Like he was heaving. Heaving with disbelief, anger... and fear?

“You almost... You.” he had attempted to repeat, but there was this lack of control. An inability to get himself together like he always managed to do any other day.

He took in a deep breath, one that shook more than yours had, and practically forced himself to stand straight, “That attack was meant for me.”

“Because I got... interrupted, I wasn’t there... and then you became the target.” He was trying to gather himself. Trying to make himself look how he usually did by straightening his spine, raising his chin and adopting an expression devoid of any emotion.

But despite trying to adjust the mask.

It was starting to crack.

“Gustavo.”

“I should have gone.” His voice was barely above a whisper now.

To the naked eye he was ridged, but there was this shakiness that could be seen the longer your eyes stayed on him, “I should be the one in that bed... not you.”

“You could’ve...”

One half of his nose slightly crinkled after a moment, in turn raising the left side of his top lip, and he visibly swallowed like the words he was going to speak had a horrid taste.

And then you spotted it.

It was difficult to properly see Gustavo’s eyes through the glasses as light sources reflected onto the lenses almost everywhere he looked, and at first you thought it was in fact just some reflected light.

But it would disappear when he blinked.

“Gustavo.” you spoke after a moment, practically forgetting what you sounded like at this point, and it seemed to snap the man out of his thoughts. “Close the blinds.”

At first he just furrowed his eyebrows. His dazed eyes finally moved from where they had zoned in to meet your own with a sudden confusion. And then they followed the finger pointed towards the window for the doctors.

The abrupt change in atmosphere had him just standing there for a moment, but then due to the crowdedness of his mind, it seemed that it just went on autopilot. He walked through the room, same pace and quietness as before, until he arrived at yet another window.

He cleared his throat, picked the left blind cord to take between two of his fingers and then pulled at it, taking one final look at the hallways outside before they were officially closed.

Now, the lighting of the room was increasingly lowered. You still had a slight source from the sky, but time had done what it did best. It barely brought anything to help maintain the light.

But that was the least of your concerns.

The moment those blinds had reached the ledge of the window, Gustavo's hands pressed onto either side of the surface, and he leant his weight into it in a way that seemed to take it off of his shoulders as they visibly slacked.

It was a movement that had you just staring for a good few seconds.

This was not the Gustavo that you knew. This man before you was not in control of his expressions, the way that he spoke, the way he stood. This was not a man who rose above and administered fear into anyone even if that wasn’t his intent.

This was just a man.

Just Gus.

You, very stiffly, began to try and shuffle yourself sideway across the bed. You didn’t care about the pain that pulsed through your torso, or how it felt like your arms were going to either bend or snap. You kept moving, and only stopped when it was clear to do so.

Pins and needles began to spread through your hand as you patted it down in the space you had created, turning your head more in his direction as you expected him to respond.

But he didn’t.

You stifled a sigh, “Come here, Gustavo.”

He needed a proper command. A verbal set of words that allowed him to comply to the urge you placed in his head. So, after trying to swallow the feelings that were appearing once again, he turned around.

Though this time when he fully faced you, instead of pausing like he needed to convince himself to actually walk, he moved the second his eyes lay on you.

His pace was slow like before, each step getting heavier than the previous one.

He understood.

He understood why you had been acting the way you did, wanted nothing more than to change the subject, and now why you had asked him to close the blinds.

It was to stop the outside from seeing in. Not let any other person bear witness to a moment just for the two of you.

Gustavo lowered himself to sit on the bed, his eyes not daring to leave your own in a way that properly allowed you to see behind the lenses of those glasses.

There was a line of water just peaking over the lower lid. His blinks may have subsided most of it, but it would always come back with the same amount. Sometimes even more.

“I shouldn’t have let you do the job alone.” Gustavo insisted, but it had you shake your head within seconds. “Hey,”

You took one of his hands between yours, trying to shift just a tad bit closer to him even if it hurt, “Gustavo, you need to understand that even if there was another person there, the same thing would’ve happened-- Another person would’ve been hurt instead of just me.”

“Someone would still get shot.”

That was when the eye contact had been broken.

He knew you were right. He knew that even if he had found out what had happened sooner, he wouldn’t have gotten there fast enough to do anything about it.

But there was a vast difference between understanding something and accepting it.

The expression on his face was so unusual to see, more so because it genuinely conveyed his feelings. You could see it in his eyes, the way his lips were starting to press together. Utter guilt despite the continuous insistence that it wasn’t his fault.

The action of removing your hands from his had him out of his thoughts again, though it wasn’t until he blinked that he felt where they had gone.

Each of your palms were placed on either side of his face, the centre firm against his set jaw.

The thumbs of your hands resided above the rest of your fingers, lightly gliding across the textured skin of Gustavo’s cheeks in a way that had him instinctively closing his eyes.

The weight of his head in your hold grew and it looked as if the tension in his muscled finally let him relax, even if it was just for a moment. You wanted him to stay like that forever.

“I’m glad you weren’t there, Gustavo.”

And just like that, the sentence had practically undone the moment of peace. But even when he went to lean back, he made sure that it was a distance that would keep your hands on his face.

The edges of his eyebrows were crinkled again, a mixture of concern and confusion purely visible, “How?”

The way he asked had a smile begging to curl at your lips. Though, due to the muscles of your face being too tired at this point and the fact that this definitely wasn’t the time to do so, you ignored it. “If it was you that got attacked instead of me, they wouldn’t have stopped until there was nothing left.”

Your grasp on his face became a tad more firm. Your eyes began to travel, thinking about the fact that you had never seen him so close for this amount of time before. “A shot in the side means nothing to me.”

“Y/n, how can you possibly say that?” The concern spread further than it had done before, now beginning to form into that same disbelief like it had earlier.

You slightly lowered your chin after a minute, making sure that your eyeline was directly connected to his. And then you just shrugged, a wave of emotions flooding your system at a sudden sense of safety that you had yearned to feel all day, “Because,”

“I would rather die, knowing that you were somewhere safe... alive. Than breathe in a world where you aren’t doing the same.”

It felt like it was going to be another one of those moments. The two of you just going to stare into each others eyes, equally lost. No words available that could even scratch the surface of what either of you felt.

Though it seemed that Gustavo’s ability to maintain a calm exterior faltered. He began to crumble.

His his eyebrows pinched together suddenly, his bottom lip slowly pushing upwards until it shook, and then he lowered his head out of your grasp, a wavering breath huffing out of his mouth.

He tried to speak. Tried to express something that ultimately would be left unknown as he just gave up. Understanding that it wouldn’t be able to come out the way that he wanted it to.

So, he just... sort of slumped. His head dipped a little more, his hand reaching up to grab the glasses that were close to falling.

He was overtaken. Emotions active more than he had let it in so long. Gustavo tried to wipe them away, tried to rid his eyes of the water that practically felt like a river pushing to flood.

But the dam had already been broken.

He just sat there, hands now pressed to face in an attempt to block the tears from going anywhere, even if they had already began to trail between his fingers.

You took the glasses that were almost crumpled in his grasp before folding the legs, and then slowly placed them on the bedside table while trying to ignore the pain that pulsed in your side from the stretch.

You subtly gritted your teeth, willing to forget about any feeling that was trying to present itself as you wanted to focus on Gustavo. You needed to.

So, you reached out, waiting for your hand to cup the back of his head before slowly beginning to guide it forward in a way that ultimately made the rest of his body follow.

And soon, he was laid across your chest, careful to avoid your injury.

The side of his head had managed to make his ear press right over where your heart was. Something that seemed to trigger Gustavo the moment he registered both the feeling and the sound.

Because, for the first time since he had entered the room or laid eyes on you through the window that had now been closed. He had actual confirmation that wasn’t just words from a doctor.

You were not some sick hallucination that was playing his mind, or a lie that he was trying to convince himself of in an attempt to avoid a painful truth and make him feel better. No. You were real.

You were alive.

The next breath that Gustavo took was cut quite abruptly like another had just pushed itself out. It was a sound that caught you off guard, one that you didn’t initially know how to respond to as you thought you were just hearing things.

But then it happened again... and then again. A sound that almost made it seem like he had forgotten how to breathe.

And then you heard what it was trying to cover, something else breaking through the harsh huffs of air.

He was crying.

Properly crying.

Gustavo removed one of the hands from his face and reached it under your arm so that he could grab the back of your shoulder, his fingers grasping onto the fabric the moment they made contact.

It had your arms wrapping around his body within seconds, especially when it had begun to rack with almost guttural like sounds.

His head was fully pressed into your chest now, each of his hands holding onto an arm or a shoulder tightly with such desperation as if you were going to disappear if he let go.

So, you didn’t dare move. You just held him there, unable to escape another pain as you had to simply lay in that bed, holding something that was releasing such raw cries.

Gustavo couldn’t even recognise the sounds himself. The way his body responded, the tears falling freely from his eyes, the harshness that the sobs were rushing out of his lungs. It was unfamiliar. A foreign feeling that swirled through everything else.

Truthfully, he could remember the last time he cried in such a way. He could remember when his feelings were shoved out of him regardless of his wants.

But he couldn’t think of any time when he had allowed himself to do it on his own.

Until now.

~~~

The next few days were filled with pretty much the same routine.

Your injuries would get checked, treated again if the doctors saw fit, and you had to do everything in your power to keep yourself entertained as the channels still weren’t giving you much.

And then, when it would get dark, Gustavo appeared.

He would bring this homemade soup almost every night that had your stomach growling before he had even arrived. It was also a decent sized cup, meaning that if you didn’t finish it, the hospital could store it and reheat it for lunch the next day.

Maybe after a while, others would think that having soup for more than a week would get old at some point... But no. In fact there was different ingredients used in every batch. The change could be miniscule but it was still effective.

The rest of the routine got old fast though. The days started merging, and it soon made you become unsure of when the next started or ended, as it seemed like you had forgotten how to sleep at normal times due to your exhausted system.

But then the time finally came.

The discharge from hospital.

Obviously there was still a whole lot of resting, healing and overall taking everything slow coming your way, which was a hundred percent going to prove to be a challenge. However, with the way that Gustavo appeared right by your side, even if it was just a facial expression that proved you were having difficulty, it gave you enough assurance. Comfort.

There was no word to accurately express your feelings the moment the car had pulled to a stop in the driveway. Your driveway.

What you saw out the window wasn’t a picture you had tried to think up multiple times in your head. It was just right in front of you. A house that seemed larger than you had remembered.

It almost startled you when the car door suddenly got pulled open, but after a blink you registered his figure, spotted the hands that were out and ready to aid you.

The process of shimmying your way off of the car seat was a bit of a hassle, however, your legs eventually hung out of the car, feet finally meeting with solid ground once again.

Soon, you had actually arrived inside the house.

Gustavo was to your right, stood carefully, in a way that would completely cross out any possibility of further injuring the other side of your body, as he guided you through those familiar halls which almost gave you a feeling of nostalgia. Even if it wasn’t that long ago that you walked within them.

A new wave of tiredness hit you after about a step into the living room you had yearned to see.

Everything looked the same, furniture and even the objects of décor still placed so intricately as if the room hadn’t been lived in or touched.

It smelled the same too.

“Were you cooking this morning?” you questioned, voice a bit more groggy than before, as a sort of smoky scent presented itself to your nostrils. Gustavo hummed, carefully pulling at your shoulder to direct you around the rectangular coffee table.

“You know I can walk by myself, right?” you pointed out, trying to turn your head to get a look at his face but he had moved behind you when the two of you got between the edge of the table and an armchair at the same time.

“Of course.” was all Gustavo said, still holding onto you regardless. And finally, you had reached the couch of your dreams.

Even though you had been laying around all day every day for weeks on end, the relief that filled your system over not having to walk anymore almost had your knees buckling.

“Okay,” Gustavo spoke just above a whisper, lightly turning you so that you faced the TV, “Slowly.”

A deep breath sifted in and out of your lungs. Your grip on his arm tightened and after looking in his eyes for a good few seconds, you began to lower yourself in the speed he insisted on. “There you go.”

“You’re doing just fine.”

Your nose was scrunched, along with your eyes, the further you bent as the movement slightly began to fold more and more of your body. You lost count of how many times you tried to stifle a hiss from the sharp pains that kept coming.

But even when officially sat down on the soft couch, the discomfort unfortunately remained.

You slowly leaned backwards, allowing your injured side to stretch out in a way that was fully comfortable, until your back pressed into the pillows. There was a sigh of relief that huffed out of your mouth all at once and it had the tiniest smile curling at Gustavo’s lips.

“Better?” he questioned and despite your urge to close your eyes, you just looked at him. “Better. Thank you,” you confirmed, reaching out to grab one of his hands.

But before your own could meet his, it had suddenly lowered with the rest of his body. Your eyebrows furrowed as you watched him get onto his knees, even pushing the coffee table away so that he had more space.

And then his hands landed on your shoes, “Oh, Gustavo, you don’t--”

“Relax.”

He lifted one foot at a time, placing the bottom of your shoe on his thigh so that he could properly attack the laces. And soon, both pairs were off of your feet, now held in a singular hand.

“You didn’t have to do that.” Your voice was more hushed this time, timid, as you looked down at the man who now was just looking right back at you. And then he smiled. Such a simple, but full, smile that fit his face perfectly.

Gustavo then pressed his free hand onto the floor, moved himself back a little, and then let out a slight grunt as pushed himself up to his feet.

When he had done so you had thought he was just go, leave to bring the shoes to the area you usually kept them, so you had started to shuffle your self further into the couch.

But the next thing you knew, one of your hands was brough in a gentle grasp. The step that Gustavo had taken was to get closer to the couch, and you.

He sort of hunched forward after a moment, bringing your intertwined hands his way. And then, when it was at a perfect distance, he turned them until the back of your palm faced him.

He brought his lips to your warm skin, the soft but mildly jagged skin pressing down for a good few seconds as the breath through his nostrils slightly tickled you. And then he lifted his head a little.

Gustavo met your eyes with such a wide smile that it had almost bared his teeth.

“I did.”

And after a quick squeeze to your hand, that was that. He let go.

Gustavo adjusted the grip he had on the shoes in his other hand and simply turned, retracing his steps around the coffee table before disappearing into the hallway.

Your hand was still hung in the air. Stuck same position it had been when with Gustavo’s... and then you left it fall to your chest, landing right on top of your heart that was beating so fast that you could immediately feel it.

The smile on your face was one that felt impossibly to get off.

There was a long journey still to go, and a lot of pain to follow, but there was almost no worry when you thought about it. Because, like you had convinced to convince Gustavo of earlier, you made it.

You made it back home.

#gustavo fring x reader #breaking bad x reader #better call saul x reader #gustavo fring #gender neutral reader #gus fring x reader

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a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire · 3 months

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I re-read my post about chapters 22-30 and I realized that theres so much I just fully forgot to mention, mostly relating to the inner circle so heres a quick summary of my thoughts about each ic member now that Im about halfway through the book and have spent some time with them. To briefly recap my previous thoughts, I think their group dynamic is insanely uncomfortable because of how apparent their hierarchy is and also none of them seem to actually like each other all that much

Amren

I dont dislike her in the sense that I dont dislike her personality or the basic concept of her character, but I do hate that shes in the inner circle at all. Like, whats this eldritch creature trapped in a body thats not her own doing hanging out with all these boring people ass people FOR 500 YEARS dude, if I had to spend 500 years with Rhysand I would destroy the entire night court regardless of whether or not I had Amren-levels of power. Like, why on earth would she be satisfied playing second fiddle to Rhysand and living in an APARTMENT in his stupid °•~City of Starlight~•° when shes supposed to be like a billion years old and a thousand times more powerful than him. I feel like itd be interesting to explore that but I know that we really dont from watching cari can read's summaries, so she just ends up being a character thats supposed to be interesting because shes so mysterious but is actually so shrouded in intrigue that it turns around and she just becomes boring again

Mor

When I first met her I said that something about her bothered me but I couldnt put my finger on what it was, but that I still kinda liked her because she atleast annoyed Rhysand. She really hasnt annoyed Rhys in any way since her and Feyres first meeting so I like her less because of that and also because shes mostly just boring to me at the moment. I think another reason why I dont particularly like her is that she feels so intrinsically tied to the misogyny of this world that just suddenly materialized in this book and its really annoying, I would like to avoid that subplot as much as possible. She basically just exists to give Feyre a female friend at the Night Court and to show her that you can totally girlboss your way out of a misogynistic system! But you cant dismantle the system because uhhhhhhhh. change is like a glacier because its slow

Also, shes obviously meant to parallel Ianthe, like shes supposed to be the better version of her, but I cant even imagine her and Feyre making out sloppy style toxic yuri edition so I cant really see her as any kind of improvement. sorry

Cassian

One of my least favourite character types is Fratbro But You Put Him In A Fantasy Setting so Im not the biggest fan of this guy ngl. The one redeeming quality he has is that hes very obviously crushing on all of his friends bisexual style, especially Rhys and Azriel. Its almost a little sad but mostly its just very funny. Like whyd you wanna take their clothes at the illyrian camps so badly huh? You like seeing pretty boys squirm around naked?

Unfortunately, I know that hes gonna end up with Nesta and that hes not even gonna treat her well, my guy is gonna go from being gay because he likes men to being gay because he hates women and I am not looking forward to it

Speaking of Nessian, a lot of sjm critical anti nessian people say that Nesta and Cassian used to be so good and so genuinely romantic in ACOWAR and that their relationship got completely ruined in ACOSF and. I mean, granted they dont ever talk about Cassian behaviour towards Nesta during the meeting at her house in ACOMAF but I hated the way he was just so angry at her on Feyre's behalf when she wasnt even that mad herself, she just felt weird and bad. Of course, I havent read ACOWAR yet and I might change my mind in the future but right now, I'll just say it doesnt surprise me that Cassian would laugh at Nesta falling down the stairs

Azriel

My favourite guy!!! Out of this bunch I mean. My favourite guy in the entire ACOTAR series is probably Lucien, but if we're just talking about the jokers from the Night Court, then this guy is my favorite

I really wasnt expecting much from him, I thought he would have absolutely no personality from what Ive heard other people say about him, but hes basically exactly what I want in an edgy traumatized shadow boi. Ive talked about this before but I really dislike Rhysand and part of that is that I normally really like the archetype of the tortured edgy love interest with shadow powers but he makes it so goddamn annoying by being so flirty and cocky I just want to see him dead. But Azriel is quiet so he doesnt bothr me and also theres some intrigue about his backstory and the extend of his powes but he feels like a solid enough character that he doesnt become boring to me like Amren

I will say though, theres something particularly uncomfortable about watching anyone from the inner circle interact with him and vice versa, I think its because he seems like he doesnt actually like them more than anything else. Ive said this in a previous post, I think Cassian wants to be in a relationship good friends with him and he seems to think they have some good sunshine guy/grumpy guy banter going on but to me it just seems like Azriel genuinely dislikes him. And then he obviously doesnt trust Amren and I feel like hes in love with Mor and has been for a really long time but doesnt actually like her, I honestly feel like hes just sticking by Rhysand because he feels like he owes him and because it gives him an excuse to be close to his crush

Yknow, that I think about it maybe thats why I like him so much. I dont like the Inner Circle, he doesnt like the Inner Circle, thats a relatable king right there

#anti acotar #anti acomaf #anti inner circle #anti rhysand #pro azriel #somehow #anti nessian #flames and darkness liveblog

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postalollie · 1 year

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What are ur favorite things about pdude :) any of them and what do think dating one would be like 😳

OO HI!! SORRY FOR BEING SO LATE!!

In general I love the fact hes a morally grey character that in general doesnt seems to care for what other think of him! (except if hes wearing a gimp suit obviously lol) and his smugness as well, for postal 2 dude I love his colors! theyre more dull which for me fits his character really well and I try to do that in my art of him as well (though Ive been slacking more on that aspect lol) his design in general is just so nice to look and memorable too, its simple but effective, peak character design right there and I dont even mean it as a joke I genuinely think his design is super good, and most importantly THE GLASSES!! I like drawing him with his eyes showing but when he has the sunglasses is where the fun is at, because it kinda brings a surprise factor to him, his colors are more died down but then you see his eyes and BAM!! green! of course theyre not too bright as to match with his other colors but still bright enough for him to have some contrast and bring some surprise to the player!

Now for p1 dude, I once again love his color scheme, I love red so its fun to look at him, even with just his limited model on the original postal you can see a lot of stuff in his design which is very impressive! I love his fingerless gloves and his sweater vest as well/shirt he wears on the gone postal cover, also...long hair...pretty.. ALSO his design with the red coat and green vest! I dont usually see it being drawn (I personally do prefer to draw the red and black version because I prefer that color scheme but the other is still quite good and I wanna draw it someday!) idk his design is just once again very cool to me

NOW FOR THE DATING PART OwO (sorry if these are hard to understand im very bad with writing and most of my fantasies rarely follow a story or a very strict personality to them lol)

for p2 I imagine it would be more difficult for him to "open up" I guess, he would start pretty closed off like he is in the game, even when hes interested in you hes still kinda closed off, with stuff like flirty interactions the thing he can do best because hes more in control, show that man some genuine affection and he wouldnt know how to take it (show that man love no one in paradise apreciates him >:( ) he would probably blue screen a bit from affection, however slowly he would start getting used it and start showing a bit more as well, you would just need to be a bit patient with him, he would however still care for you and be a bit possesive, not in the unhealthy way I mean would get jealous about you and if anyone tried to do anything he would kick their ass, in general his love language is a mix of physical contact and acts of service, he also calls you darling and dearie :)

NOW FOR P1 oh p1

tbh I think he would a bit more possesive compared to p2 by a bit, finding a not sick person would be a miracle to him, he would be a bit more emotional as well, confiding in you and being the only one he would trust, to me he would profess his love to you in a way more I guess poetic way?? idk how to call it but yeah! man is down bad for you essentialy, dont get me wrong though hes still postal dude of course, just ya know with more problems

now for the massacre part.. I feel it COULD be possible to be able to stop him from doing everything like people generally write p1 x reader fics but honestly to me, idk I feel like no matter what something would make him snap, the thing is would you join him or not... my self insert does but really I think that changes from person from person, I imagine that during the very small breaks from the killing he would be all over you, you're the thing that calms him down, also if he went to the asylum he would be saved by you, together till the end no matter what

AGAIN I know the whole joining in with him might seem bad! its just that for me its not any postal dude, especially postal 1 dude wihout some violence ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

ALSO i headcanon all the dudes with the exception of corkscrew for obvious reason that theyre all part brazilian and portuguese is their first language! (self projection wee hoo) so they would call you pet names or say how much they love in the language! I feel they would say amor a lot and the variations of it (amorzinho, meu amor, mo, also that basically means my love in different ways in english) p3 would say xuxu or xuxuzin for sure though (idk how to translate this but like, imagine it as like saying doll or darling but in a more joking manner)

In any way, all of them would be protective of you, wouldnt want to hurt you no matter what and if anyone tried they're dead

(also bonus p3, he would be the most smug out of all of them, he KNOWS you love him and he loves you too and oh boy is he gonna have fun with it, also both him and p2 would probably fight for you a bit in paradise lost lol)

#OO THIS WAS LONG!!#thanks for the ask!!#sorry is there are missing words or mispellings!#no beta we die like p3 dude died in one of the endings #postal #postal dude #postal 1 #postal 2 #I hope the portuguese parts made sense lol #postal 3 #kinda??

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ybetzarts · 13 days

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random question, what draws you to knuckles as a character? do you have a favourite version of him?

Okok...bear with me, I have to start from the beginning..

I first encountered Knuckles during the time when he was mostly portrayed as, as they described him, a character merely for comedic relief. I watched the boom series back in 2015 and so my first impression of him was that he was an all-brawn-no-brain kinda guy. I found him funny, i guess...i had no clue back then. To explain why i didnt bother to do any research, here are some screenshots of my response on IG...(see below the break)

I was a shallow "fan". I find the sonic casts' design interesting and fun to look at. At that time, that was enough...

1. What drew me into Knuckles then?

I'll get into that, but first...The 2nd movie...The only reason i gave Sonic(by Sonic i meant the whole franchise) a chance was because i saw how Knuckles was portrayed in the 2nd Sonic movie. Very different from what i knew of him at that time.

I began researching about him, after watching the movies. There was something. Yea, i was on an info hunt of just about the guy for months! Along the way tho, i also discovered a ton of things about Sonic, the cast, etc. BUT, i was mostly so eager to know about Knuckles. Then man! There was so much to know about the guy...He wasnt just that all-brawn-no-brain type of guy. Those character analysis videos of Knuckles explained a lot of things about him. He's the most interesting of the cast(for me)---his personality(Most of all), his backstory, his sacred duty, being the last of the echidnas, angel island as his home, what's left of his kind(relics, tech, architecture, art, etc.), so much to unpack...and YET there were almost nothing said about them??? The mysteries about the guy continues. Lots of angles to look into his character.

Hmm... I also realized that there were many ways to interpret(?) Knuckles. The tons of fanfiction you can make about the guy, tons of ways to do headcanons about him---one can look at him through his duty as a guardian, through him being a warrior, through his ancestors--and then recently in Frontiers--through the hidden and long lost and forgotten structures within angel island, also, through the M.E. and through the power that resides in the M.E. Am I making sense even???

[I should say that i liked a lot of these things first, before i even liked Knuckles for his design LOL (gawsh, those times when i struggled drawing the dude. I was so eager to learn how to draw him. Usually i would have given up, but surprisingly i didnt), and the "why did he have to be RED" XDD I didnt like red, until Knuckles...] His personality drew me in at first, then came all of these things...

About his personality/character...I can really relate to that. I also happen to like characters who are tough on the outside and are good (not exactly gentle) in the inside LOL. Knuckles looks so tough, immovable as a mountain, but deep down, he's carrying a lot. Rarely or almost never opening up. I can only imagine him as he got older, him thinking like

"No one will be left to take care of the island after I'm gone anyway...so why should i even bother? I could be doing something else, I could be anywhere, I could make use of what time ive been given, of what time i have left."

*proceeds to chuck them thoughts away* Then just like that, back to guarding duty again, still feeling loyal and determined to fulfill his role, and to who knows until when...

For that, Knuckles is the only fictional character that ive come to genuinely like and become interested in. So much so that i got out of my demotivated-uninspired-artist-prison and began drawing again, and for the fun of it!🌟💥

2. As for my favorite version of him?

My gosh! um, currently Renegade, I suppose??? Man, this is hard gah! Theres always something to like about every version of Knuckles. The Knuckles version in my head, the one i created after consuming a ton of Knuckles info, yea i also like that version LOL XDD🌟

#asks #ybetzartstalks #knucklestheechidna #my fingers hurt now #i figured this was gonna be long so i didnt draw anything this time HNGGGG #am feeling really sleepy now so #pls forgive me if i ever made yall confused ack

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neutinya · 3 years

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Some relationships are you, a human, with a human partner, and other are you, a human, and your 240cm tall monster bf, but that's okay - !! I included their backstory as well as the setting up of the general context for this AU below the cut so if you’re interested,,, do consider reading it fhdjdj;;; I'm really happy with how this turned out and it's super fun to draw monster tooru and his 4 arms lmao I'm super excited for this AU;;; I really wanna draw more of it dndjjxjd

Iwa is monster-hunter royal blood. However he doesn't want to be heir to the monster hunter shit so he decided to run away the day before his coronation??

As a kid he would play with all the monster animals near the forest which is where he met his lizard familiar and llama ceb. The day he runs away he brings them with him??

The moment he ran away from his kingdom and title as prince he was immediately hunted down by hunters sent by his own family for dishonouring them the Iwaizumi name. Like he's straight up wanted??? ahhh

Somewhere along the way he meets Tooru and they probably wouldn't get along at the start

?? Like they meet at some weird beer house?? And Iwa obviously sticks out because he's human and humans aren't exactly super welcomed because of the history between monsters and humans. Iwa being oblivious to the monster world obviously doesn't realise why this four armed dude won't stop pestering him in spite of his attempts to keep a low profile.

Tooru had approached him because he was sure if he didn't step in, Iwa would have been killed

Iwa was initially extremely resistant to Tooru's "advances" until Tooru whispers into Iwa's ear that "I don't know if you realised but almost every monster in this beer house is staring at you with the intent to kill, so unless you want to leave this place alive, play along and let me get you out of here"

And Iwa just looks around the room and he realises that Tooru was right so he plays along and they try to leave but one of the monsters in the beer house walks up to them and asks Tooru to back off so they could kill Iwa, and Tooru is just like "no can do, he's a friend of mine" and the dude is just like "move." But Tooru is adamant much to the annoyance of the other. A fight kinda breaks out, but much to Iwa's surprise, Tooru managed to take all of them down with ease

As they go aside, Iwa just asks Tooru why doesn't he want to kill him like the rest of the monsters and Tooru is just 🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷 Iwa apologises for causing such a big commotion and getting Tooru involved unnecessarily. Tooru says it's not a problem and Iwa not really having that much money on him, asks if he could return him in some other way? He offers a family heirloom at first but Tooru is just like "Not interested, although how about you let me tag along wherever you're headed?"

Iwa’s response is just "???" Tooru says "look, you aren't getting anywhere in these parts as a human, if I tag along, you won't have to worry too much about being killed and you returned the favour, it's a win win."

So that's how they kinda go off on their journey!!! Iwa actually learns a lot about monsters from Tooru who seemed much more knowledgeable than he looked (no offense to Tooru but that was Hajime’s genuine first impression) There were so many different types of monsters and Iwa was just?? So amazed and almost excited that there were so many things for him to learn and explore??

Like okay they had a bad first impression but he was kinda starting to like Tooru as a companion, listening to way Tooru told all those stories offered him a comfort that he never had back at home

Tooru did most of the talking honestly but Iwa was always intently listening and Tooru could tell he was intrigued and super attentive so he didn’t mind

He did ask Iwa about why he was wandering around in the first place and why the hell was he just traversing across the land with no plan or knowledge of the terrain. Iwa tells Tooru he ran away from his family but neglected to tell Tooru he was of royal monsterhunter blood. Iwa fires back the same question and Tooru responds saying “I get bored of spending all my time in the same old place every day.” neglecting to tell Iwa the fact that he too was of royal blood, the king to one of the many monster kingdoms. (Actually one of the most feared in fact??)

I was thinking the four armed form isn't his real monster form but a less scary version, he's actually a huge fearsome beast but he would walk around in this form to blend with the common folk. This also explains why people don’t recognize him, because if they really knew who he was, they’d be terrified of him.

Tooru is extremely flirty and generally enjoys teasing Hajime. Iwa's lizard does not like Tooru at all. It would be sitting on Iwa's shoulder, breathing small fireballs at Tooru whenever the brunette got too close- For example, when Tooru tries to wrap an arm around Iwa's shoulder or waist, Haji’s lizard would get extremely angry and began attacking him. Tooru is super upset about this tiny little creature preventing him from getting close to his new human companion, but nevertheless, he learns to pick moments where the lizard is asleep to try and engage with Haji

Sidenote, Iwa is a really fucking good archer and good at knives. He may not have had the heart to be a monster hunter, but he definitely had the physical skills to be one if he desired.

Of course there’s a bunch of shenanigans, but honestly speaking there’s also a good amount of sexual tension?? They have a lot of moments where they kinda save each other, whether it be having run ins with unfriendly monsters or humans, to navigating dangerous terrain and making hard decisions;;

They grow to be rather close friends I would dare say;; In fact, for the most part, Tooru would be Iwa's first genuine friend :(( Iwa was never given the luxury of having friends growing up. He spent most of his time training to be a monster hunter or learning about them, which is why he grew super attached to Tooru platonically at first

Once they have a pretty mean run in where Tooru ends up seriously hurt;; Iwa was so scared that he would lose Tooru at that moment;; Tooru fake dies to kinda tease Iwa but he didn't expect Iwa to cry, so as Iwa is there like "don't die on me you idiot-" Tooru "comes back to life" and is all like "awww is Iwa-chan crying because of me?" And Iwa, embarrassed, just punches him in the chest and wipes away his tears like "shut the fuck up asshole"

Tooru is just like "ow- I may not be dead but I'm still kinda hurt you know?" And Iwa feels bad so he just tries to play it off like "that's what you deserve dumbass" before treating Tooru's wounds. They end up spending the night at this cave near a lake where they decided to stay for a few days since Tooru was pretty beat up and the weather was pretty bad

Haji pretty much nursed Tooru back to health, finding berries, herbs and all that during the day in order to make medicine and food

I think at one point Tooru comments "You're really good at this kinda thing huh?" And Iwa is just confused like "good at what?" And Tooru elaborates "taking care of people. Not everyone can make medicine like you do you know?" And Iwa just says it was nothing and he learned most of it from reading when he was a kid

Also like I said the weather was pretty bad so imagine Iwa curling up next to his llama and lizard for warmth. Tooru finds it so fucking adorable??? Clearly the two of them loved Iwa and vice versa, but he couldn't help but feel a little jealous at the sight uxjxhdh

So like one night he just casually says "you guys sure look warm over there" and Iwa just looks at him like 😐

"I gave you my cape you know" and Tooru just "Monsters can't regulate heat like humans do, at least not my species" That was a lie but Iwa didn't know that, so he kinda just looks at Tooru funny before scooting over to Tooru and lying down next to him. His llama and lizard follow, and scoot on Tooru's other side so Tooru is kinda sandwiched in between Haji and the pets. Iwa just mumbles a quiet "now go to sleep dumbass" and Tooru just smiles like a fucking idiot

Iwa quickly dozes off but Tooru not so much, when he was sure Iwa was asleep he gently drapes the cape over Iwa instead before going to bed himself

The next day Iwa is the first to wake up and much to his fucking surprise, he was pretty much incapable of moving because Tooru had somehow wound up hugging him with two of his arms. He was so embarrassed he thought he could die so he could only stay there and not do anything. After while he realises that staying like that could only mean more mental suffering so he slowly tries inching away from Tooru to which he eventually succeeds

He does his morning routine which was to look for berries and herbs because Tooru needed quite a bit of medicine. Tooru was definitely close to being back to his healthy normal self but he still needed to make sure that everything was in check

#oiiwa #iwaoi #I fell in love with a monster king #haikyuu #haikyuu!!#my art #Iwaizumi Hajime #oikawa tooru #apparently I'm a monster fucker now #and because of that I ended up projecting onto iwa #help

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canary3d-obsessed · 3 years

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Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 19, part one

(Masterpost) (Other Canary Stuff) (Previous Post)

Warning: Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!

Chilling in Yiling

We start off with Wei Wuxian hanging out in a busy area of Yiling, which is a really dumb place to pick for a fugitive rendezvous.

He's wearing a fashionably distressed brown robe, and a woven disguise hat, that makes him invisible to his enemies until the moment he takes it off, kinda like the mask he wears in his second life. Unfortunately he is a polite boi so he takes off the disguise hat when he goes indoors to get a bite to eat, and promptly gets smacked down by Wen Zhuliu.

Xiao Zhan's stunt double is really good at this wire-pull+table-smash move; this is the second time Wei Wuxian goes crashing through a table (the first one being when Yu Ziyuan was beating him). This time he clutches his now core-less abdomen, in a move we're going to be seeing a lot of, going forward. Abdominal surgery is a bitch. OP can personally attest to this.

Wen Zhuliu provides some comic relief by looking at his hand in puzzlement; he clearly can tell Wei Wuxian has no golden core, but he isn't going to bother telling Wen Chao that.

Wen Chao gloats and steps on Wei Wuxian's hand while Wei Wuxian stares at his shoe and OP wonders, not for the first time, how they make rubberized zig-zag treads in Ancient Fantasy China.

(more after the cut)

This is all happening in the Yiling Wine house where Wei Wuxian will later share the most important meal of his life, the one in which A-Yuan lays claim to Lan Wangji, ultimately giving LWJ a reason to live long enough for Wei Wuxian to be resurrected. If that doesn’t deserve a good Yelp review, nothing does.

Dream a Little Dream of Me

While Wei Wuxian gets ready for his big whump scene, Jiang Cheng is dreaming, and looking absolutely breathtaking in this deceptively simple robe, that's made of a really complex fabric, that catches the light all over its surface. The lighting here is warm and romantic, giving everything a nostalgic glow.

He looks around the courtyard in his dream, and sees Jiang Yanli and Wei Wuxian come running in the gate carrying kites.

A child fetching a kite was the first casualty of the Wen attack on Lotus Pier, so this image may already be a little fraught for Jiang Cheng. In this initial image of his family, Jiang Cheng isn't present as a child, but then his junior self comes running up, to be warmly greeted by his mother.

Jiang Cheng's reaction to the scene playing out in front of him is not a simple one. We've seen him externally expressing his trauma at the fate of Lotus Pier and his family - his anger and his despair - and this dream shows us his private, interior trauma.

His body has been repaired by Wei Wuxian and the Wens, but his psyche has not.

This family interaction can't possibly be one that ever happened. It's too lively, too affectionate, too comfortable. The family he was part of as a young adult was cold, angry, cracked. Families don't change that much in 10 years, unless there's a major trauma that alters things in a fundamental way.

Even the glimpses we got of his childhood contradict this image. This warm group is not the family of "I sent your dogs away" or "wait in the cold until Jiang Cheng lets you in" or "I won't tell Clan Leader Jiang what happened" or "I'm only 11 but I'm in charge of soup and bedtime already"

Jiang Cheng smiles at the affection he sees enacted in front of him, but quickly moves to grief. When a toxic person dies, you don't just lose the relationship you had with them; you lose the hope for a better relationship. Perhaps Jiang Cheng has always imagined this version of his family; now nothing like it can ever come to be.

The pleasant scene vanishes into nightmare, as his mother starts bleeding from her eyes, ew. This is like Nie Mingjue when he qi deviates, but dream Yu Ziyuan is perfectly chill about it.

Jiang Cheng is not perfectly chill about it.

He turns around to see Lotus Pier burning. When he turns back, his family has been replaced with Wen Zhuliu, who is particularly gleeful as he reaches into Jiang Cheng's chest and melts his core.

Jiang Cheng wakes up on the mountain, alone (as far as he knows), and quickly stands and boots up his new golden core.

It's purple, because of course it is. King. The nightmare is gone and he smiles, maybe for the first time since the attack on the pier.

In a moment that is probably going to feel really embarrassing in hindsight, he kneels and bows toward the mountaintops to thank Baoshan Sanren, who is totally not there.

Wen Ning, on the other hand, is there, although we only see a little bit of his belt and robe as Jiang Cheng walks off to Yiling to meet his brother. This entire plotline walks a very weird line in which the audience is told just enough about what’s really happening to be confused, but not surprised.

Do the Whumpty Whump

After some initial roughing up, Wen Chao has his dudes stand Wei Wuxian up so he can question him without actually getting any information out of him at all. They take turns calling each other dogs, with Wei Wuxian saying that when Wen Chao talks he just hears a dog barking. (Of course if he really heard a dog barking he'd be terrified)

Then he says "isn't that right" to Wang Lingjiao, and Wen Chao gets super pissed; don't disrespect me to my woman.

He has his minions do a Nancy Kerrigan to Wei Wuxian's knee and then kick him for a while.

Then they kick the shit out of the camera operator.

Wen Chao is really not about fighting his own fights. He also keeps threatening to have Wen Zhuliu melt Wei Wuxian's core, and Wen Zhuliu keeps popping up his hand and then putting it back when Wen Chao changes his mind, which gets more hilarious every time I watch it. Feng Mingjing’s physical embodiment of Wen Zhuliu is endlessly entertaining, even in scenes where he has literally no lines.

I Ain’t Afraid of No Ghost

Wei Wuxian continues to goad Wen Chao, telling him that more torture is good because then he'll die with loads of resentment. He says that after he dies, he will come back as a ferocious ghost, which is...almost exactly what happens, except he stays alive for the ferocious part.

They go back and forth about the feasibility of this whole haunting plan. Wang Lingjiao is the voice of reason, for once, arguing the "ghosts aren't real and anyway fuck this guy" position.

Wen Chao thinks that he can’t haunt them because of cultivator security hardening procedures soul-calming rituals, but Wei Wuxian wasn't born into a gentry family so didn't have the anti-fierce-ghost treatment that other cultivators get.

This is the only time in the whole of the show when Wei Wuxian says, himself, that he's the son of a servant. He's using his reputation as a commoner to bolster his threats.

Wei Wuxian is working hard to put on a scary-guy persona, which works pretty well on Wang Lingjiao but not as much on the rest of the group. Three months from this time, however, he will have become the scary, vengeful creature he's currently spitballing about. He will also become way, way better at torture than the people who are currently mistreating him.

Wang Lingjiao and Wen Chao go through a whole sequence of ideas about what to do with him. For whatever reason Wang Lingjiao doesn't insist on chopping his arm off even though she's been craving it for ages.

She does gleefully burn his burn some more, causing it to bleed directly into the giant obvious bag he has hanging from his belt leaking resentful energy. Which the Wens do not take away or search.

Wen Chao, incidentally, starts calling him Wei Ying during this encounter, which is rude of him. Tch. Finally Wen Chao decides on a plan, which involves sword-flying effects so terrible that no soul can survive them.

Jiang Cheng is looking for Wei Wuxian in town, wearing a woven hat like Wei Wuxian’s. This...is not a disguise. If you want to be inconspicuous, maybe take that giant piece of silver off of your head.

He hears random people talking about the Wens being in town, and then he apparently looks up at the sky and sees the Wen dudes flying on their swords with Wei Wuxian, but it looks so ridiculous that Jiang Cheng's mind cannot process what he is seeing.

While they "fly," Wen Chao delivers a massive brick of exposition about the burial mounds, while Wei Wuxian looks genuinely frightened. The VFX of random, undifferentiated mountaintops and clouds do nothing to sell this menace, but the exposition is actually pretty good, creating a real sense of disturbance and threat.

Then they toss him in, and we go from the terrible VFX of sword flying to a visual effect that they mercifully did really well throughout the show - the black resentment smoke. This time it catches Wei Wuxian and holds him for a few moments, before dropping him the rest of the way to the ground. It also apparently pulls the turtle sword out of his belt bag, but we don't see that part.

They Say That Every Man Must Fall

Having seen Wei Wuxian at his lowest point (so far) and dream Jiang Cheng also in deep distress, we go to the Dafan Wen sibs, who have also reached a breaking point. Because they helped Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng, they are traitors to their clan - unquestionably so - and are being punished for it, with Wen Ning having been tortured in addition to being locked up.

I see my light come shining From the west down to the east Any day now, any day now I shall be released

You know how Lan Xichen successfully argued for Wen-Clan-Member Meng Yao's life and status, because Meng Yao betrayed Wen Ruohan to help them? Even though Meng Yao killed a bunch of Nie guys? Wen Ning and Wen Qing also betrayed Wen Ruohan and helped the Sunshot Campaign, without killing a bunch of guys. They should have been treated as allies by the four other clans, but they got diddly.

I’ve Been Dead Once

We return to Wei Wuxian in the burial grounds, where he's lying on the ground surrounded by resentful energy and by strained, desperate voices calling his name. This whole sequence is remarkable, since it effectively communicates the horror he's experiencing, through little more than Xiao Zhan's face and good sound design.

I hang around dying to be tortured You'll never be alone in the bone orchard

The voices call four versions of his name. A variety of voices call him Wei Wuxian, Wei Gongzi, and Shixiong, which (I think) is what the young Jiang disciples would have called him. And in the midst of those voices, Lan Wangji's voice, low and calm, saying "Wei Ying." Upon hearing that Wei Wuxian starts to drag himself up.

For a show with definitely no zombies in it, they sure do use the visual language of zombie films for Wei Wuxian's first motions after hitting the ground. Starting with twitching fingers, then gradually pulling himself halfway up and crawling, lurching across the ground. Wei Wuxian comes slowly back to life, the very first member of his army of the dead.

He makes his way across the ground toward the floating turtle sword. Along the way he accidentally grabs the world's most bowlegged thigh bone; the lack of sunshine in the burial mounds puts the skeletons at risk for rickets. All of the skeletons in the show are exactly what you would expect from the practical effects team that made the demon hand and the animatronic dog.

The turtle sword is roiling with resentful energy, and is talking to Wei Wuxian as he crawls toward it, asking if he wants revenge. And what a coincidence, he DOES want revenge.

He grabs the sword and plunges it into the ground in an explosion of resentful energy. (Ground: why you gotta take it out on me?)

The sequence ends with the most compelling, ominous shot of Wei Wuxian's face...a new man.

Soundtrack: 1. I Shall Be Released by Bob Dylan 2. Beyond Belief by Elvis Costello

Writing Prompt: The Day Wei Wuxian arrived, from the POV of a Burial Mounds ghost.

#fytheuntamed #the untamed #the untamed gifs #the untamed meta #cql #restless rewatch the untamed #canary3d-original #my gifs #wei wuxian #burial mounds #jiang cheng

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whentheynameyoujoy · 3 years

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So the ATLA Movie Is... Good, Actually?

Just kidding, of course it’s not, it’s so bad it sucked the paint off my walls. But after ten years of people pointing out its glaring flaws, why would anyone bother talking about this garbage heap if not to go the other direction? So here’s a very brief and very superficial list of things the movie does get kinda... not atrociously wrong.

And they won’t be fake hipster pokes, like “It’s fun to laugh at”, “The Rifftrax for this is OK”, or “Kudos to the actress for managing to say we believe in our beliefs as much as they believe in theirs with a straight face”.

(though now that I mentioned it, it is fun to laugh at, the Rifftrax for this is OK, and massive props indeed.)

Rasta Iroh

Yes, I know it’s not exactly the aesthetic of the real Iroh or that it makes no cultural sense for him to sport this do when no one else in the racebended Indian “OMFG what were you thinking Shyamalan” Nation does but goddamn, long-haired dudes are my one mortal weakness and I will ogle the hell out of him.

Jesus is that a man bun I see that’s it mum I’ve been deaded

Yue’s hair

No.

Now we’re talking. Yue’s hair turned white when the Moon spirit gave her life, so it makes sense for it to go black again when she sacrifices herself to revive the koi fish. It’s a neat detail I find myself expecting whenever I rewatch the scene in the show. Yes, I realize it’d be a pointless hassle to animate since she, unlike in the movie, immediately goes on to become the Moon herself but still. I like.

The Blue Spirit’s mop

Zuko, hun, what’s with the dance-off?

First of all, I want to imagine that Zuko the Theatre Nerd was about to leave his ship with just the mask like in the show but then stuck his head into the cleaning cupboard and went, “Yeah, more coverage might be good, even though it do seem mighty fried to shit”.

Which makes me giggle. I like to giggle.

And secondly, the hair’s movement is what makes the static mess of the Blue Spirit’s solo fight scene appear at least bit more dynamic because God knows the cinematography isn’t doing it.

Any particular reason why it’s at the edge of the action, shot all boring-like?

Now, I get why circular shots would be reserved for Aang while he’s in the practice area and then used once the two join forces. What I don’t get is why Aang’s part of the action scene has a defined visual style while Zuko’s delegated to a few stationary wide shots from afar as though he’s a tertiary goon, meaning that when the time comes to combine the respective pieces of cinema language and visually convey collaboration, there’s not really much to combine.

But as long as Zuko is stuck in this static mess, it’s that awesome disaster on his head flopping about that draws the eye, helping me understand that something even is going on over there.

It also prevents me from paying much attention to how the extras are mostly just staying put and a lot of the hits don’t land, so that’s good.

The music slaps

James Newton Howard is too good for this.

youtube

Pls ignore that the word “gods” is used in the ATLA universe

I can’t be the only one who constantly uses this piece to daydream about writing specific fanfic scenes instead of, you know, actually sitting down and writing them. It’s just so good at communicating a sense of sorrow while speaking of rebirth that I find myself getting misty-eyed whenever I listen to it. Unfailingly, the soundtrack as a whole manages to break through the mile-thick crust of horrible acting, confusing writing, and uninspired cinematography and make me feel things. And considering how everything on screen is working against it, that’s no small feat.

Imagine what a powerful experience it would be if the score was used in service of an actual movie.

Dev Patel

No wonder since he’s the only one in the film occupying that crucial intersection between “is a good actor” and “was given something to work with”. It also doesn’t hurt that he breaks with the trend of actors starring in martial arts flicks despite never having done any martial art.

And all EIP-jokes about “stiff and humorless” aside, he’s a pretty decent Zuko considering how abridged this version of the character is. A while ago, I remember hearing a reviewer say that with his comedic chops, Patel should have been cast as Sokka. And on one hand, yes, god, absolutely, I need to see that asap. But on the other? He captures all layers of Book 1!Zuko, the desperate obsession, rage, and self-loathing, and at the same time gives you a peek at the soft momma’s boy dork that’s buried underneath. For Christ sakes, he exudes intensity and ambivalence even when acting against an emotionless hunk of wood that’s giving him nothing in return.

Oh, and I guess there’s a tree in the frame.

Ba dum tss

What can I say, the guy’s good.

Showing vs telling

OK, so this movie is all tell and no show, except for one single moment. And it’s the exact moment where the original goes in the other direction in terms of how information is conveyed.

See, I never liked this. The revelation is preceded by Iroh giving advice to Zuko who scolds him for nagging. Iroh then apologizes, moves in to say the line above, and is interrupted by Zuko who seems rather uncomfortable with Iroh laying his feelings out like this. And once they’re out, Zuko verbally confirms that he knew already and Iroh didn’t need to bother.

All this extraneous information and pussyfooting ends up weakening what should be a profound scene that reveals to us, the viewers, how deep the relationship between these two in fact runs.

Compare to the movie where Dadroh acts like a parent by fussing and worrying, with Sonion needing a single look to tell him and us that he understands what it’s all really about.

It’s genuinely efficient and just good.

No Cataang

Fine, a bit mean-girl bitchy from me since I only start minding the ship in Book 3. And probably unintentional on the part of the creators since there are moments where I think they’re trying to set the romance up? There’s a, well, an attempt to recreate the famous introductory shot of fateful meaningful destiny of meaningness, there’s some slight note of saving each other’s bacon going on, I’m pretty sure they’re the only ones in the film who smile, and oh, right, Katara’s shoved into her post-canon useless role where she doesn’t ever do anything, and is all about Aang right from the get go.

Yes, I will blame the “executive producers” because a) I’m incredibly petty, and b) it’s perfectly in line with their vision of the character so why the hell not.

Hilariously, none of it reads on screen because the actors are just... yeah. These poor kids are struggling so much with delivering their own lines and portraying their own characters they don’t seem to have any strength left to create something between them. To be fair, the bare-bones shot-reverse shot style of their scenes doesn’t exactly lend itself to the idea they occupy the same universe, let alone are friends or each other’s crushes.

And I enjoy this immensely because it allows me to forget the depressing horror show Katara’s life turns into post ATLA.

Yes Zutara

I need to delve into this because it’s fucking hilarious. So in a movie which fails to establish the original’s central romance so spectacularly that if Aang got lost in a crowd I don’t believe Katara would notice, SomEOnE thought it’d be a good idea to add an utterly unnecessary non-canon moment where Zuko for some reason feels the need to pause his character-defining hunt for the Avatar which otherwise has him ignore everything and snap at everyone, and explain his central conflict to an unconscious peasant he doesn’t know, complete with gently pushing the hair from the pretty girl’s the soulmate’s the Water Tribe Ambassador’s the Fire Lady’s the love of his life’s her face away, AFTER his uncle nagged him twice to find a girl and settle down.

I just wanted to make sure we’re all on the same page and this is what we really saw.

Celibate Avatars

I have no idea why the decision was made, if TPTB thought expecting viewers to understand the story through the lens of Buddhism would be too much, or if the “executive producers” already worked their retconny magic. What I do know, however, is that there’s a big shift in worldbuilding and Aang’s struggle with his role as the Avatar stops being a personal conflict defined by a) his grief for Air Nomads, b) his notion of being robbed of the loved ones in his life, and c) the selfish attachment to Katara he confuses with true love. Instead, what he has a difficulty to accept is apparently a general notion of who Avatars are supposed to be, i.e. a fantasy version of Catholic monks, no family and worldly relations, period.

I guess either someone understood the original’s portrayal of de/attachment as “hermit no freaky”, or thought the audience would so why not go there outright.

Now, do I like this on its own? No, God no, it makes the world infinitely poorer and changes the story from an exploration of ideas which aren’t all that ingrained in the West, to a cliché tropester about a Catholic priest going Protestant so that he could be with a girl.

At least I assume that’s where they were going to take this eventually.

I mean, I think the direction was “look conflicted, this isn’t the final stage of your journey”?

But consider this—the show went there, it built on the concepts of Eastern philosophy and touched upon the ideas of spiritual awakening, only to swerve in the end and strongly imply they’re bullshit and Aang should have never wasted his time with them.

So honestly, I much prefer scanty worldbuilding to an insulting retcon by a damn rock.

Multiracial Air Nomads

Probably the most substantial “no hint of irony” point on this list and a genuinely good addition to the universe’s worldbuilding.

See, the notion of the elemental nations being perfectly separate and never mingling before Sozin has always been sketchy but it’s especially ridiculous in the case of airbenders. It never made sense to me for all airbenders to be Air Nomads and for all Air Nomads to be monks and for all monks to be chilling at the temples all the time to facilitate a quick everyone-dies genocide should an imperialistic warlord ever decide to commit one.

Because committing everyone to a single way of life at a handful of places kinda goes against the central philosophy behind airbending. Like the freedom and nomadism part.

Instead, there should be more variety to the airbending culture, with some staying at the temples as monks, hermits, and teachers while others live as nomads, travelling the world and creating more airbenders, with the resulting children in turn being influenced by the non-airbending cultures they grew up in.

And thus, not only should airbenders not be modeled after a single culture to create a one-size-fits-all lifestyle, but they should have the most diverse and dynamic culture out of the four nations.

And it’d be precisely this diversity which would pave way for an eventual reveal that some of them survived, that their complete extermination is impossible.

Because they’re everywhere.

You know.

Like air.

#atla #atla movie #zutara #anti bryke #dev patel #the last airbender #anti-kataang

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bisluthq · 3 years

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hi nat! i know you don’t believe in kaylor anymore, but i wanted to send in my kaylor/joshlie theory, just as food for thought and fun speculation.

CW: ED

background:

back in 2017, i made a new friend. i quickly became kinda obsessed with her. i idolized how tall and skinny she was, her radiant sunshine-like presence, and the way she was so much cooler than me. something about her just drew me in like a magnet.

one day she told me that she was “bi-curious,” and i felt the unexplainable urge to tell her that i was queer too—so i did.

thus started our intense homoerotic friendship. we talked about everything, and she was rather touchy and flirty with me (we even hooked up a few times). but she was hung up on this dude who she’d been in a long-term off-and-on relationship with. looking back, i think she saw me as a willing participant in her experimentation phase—a source of casual fun while on a break from her ‘real’ relationship (plus, i came with the added bonus of helping her figure out her sexuality a bit).

meanwhile, i was serious about us because i was in love with her. as such, the relationship was obviously very unhealthy: neither of us had appropriate expectations of the other, and because of the imbalance in our level of commitment/love, she ended up inadvertently taking advantage of my friendship in ways that only increased my obsession with her. naturally, our friendship eventually imploded.

i think the kaylor story may look similar.

my theory on kaylor:

i think that kaylor had a very similar friendship as me and my friend. their connection obviously started out as pr, but they ended up getting along well and bonded. thus started their genuine friendship.

i think that their eating disorders were likely a strong source of bonding/connection for them, as this was the case for me and my friend as well. i wanted to emulate how skinny my friend was, just how i think taylor wanted to emulate how skinny karlie was. (remember the vogue best best friends video, in which taylor complemented karlie’s “shiny abs.”) this is obviously an unhealthy place to start a friendship: from day one, you are on uneven ground, where one person is essentially worshipping the other and seeing them as a god-like figure to emulate.

imagine that taylor in that sort of mindset with karlie. and on top of that, she’s attracted to karlie—obsessed with her skinny body, her sunshine-like personality, how sophisticated she is, how effortlessly successful she is, etc. she develops an infatuation with karlie. she wants to take karlie to big sur with her and play 1989 on the way, and she’s so obsessed with karlie that she wants to tell her the truth about the 1989 muse. (trust me, it’s feasible—i told my friend shit i’d never have even imagined confessing to another human, all because of how infatuated with her i was.) so taylor and karlie sit down, have an intensely emotional conversation about how taylor is bi, how the pressures of staying closeted gut her every day, how her relationship with the 1989 muse dianna was so full of strife due to closeting, etc. /// or maybe taylor feels that she must disclose her bisexuality to karlie before the big sur trip. she’s terrified that if she doesn’t tell karlie she’s bi, then karlie will somehow find out. and taylor’s afraid that then, karlie will be creeped out that a ~predatory lesbian~ invited her on a three-month sleepover, leading to the demise of their friendship. so taylor must avoid that outcome – so she must come out to karlie.

so, for either reason i described, taylor comes out to karlie. considering how scared taylor is to come out to karlie (since it might ruin their friendship, or karlie might maliciously out her to others now that she knows, etc.) and considering how generally poor taylor’s mental health was at the time, the coming out inevitably evolves into an intensely emotional conversation about taylor’s fears, insecurities, the pressures of being a closeted mega-celebrity, etc. perhaps karlie feels compelled to match the level of emotion and vulnerability, motivating her to tell taylor “i’m questioning if i might be a little bi too.” or perhaps taylor’s level of earnestness and rawness stirs up the illusion of intense emotions inside of karlie. so, karlie “comes out” to taylor – confessing that she’s questioning/bi-curious (for context, i think karlie is kinsey 1). /// (to show the validity of this possibility – this is how evangelical churches, such as the one shown in the 2006 documentary “jesus camp”, are able to convince children that they’re being overcome by the holy spirit, being prompted by god to break down in tears, etc. – psychologically speaking, when people are put into highly intense emotional situations, [such as taylor breaking down while coming out to karlie], their brains will feel inadvertent pressure to match the level of emotion. as such, their brains will either exacerbate existing relevant emotions, or create the illusion of relevant strong emotions. [this is probably especially true for karlie, since she is an empath and a people pleaser.]).

thus starts the “friends with occasional benefits” stage. karlie views the relationship as something casual, something that gal pals do sometimes, something fun to experiment with while she and josh are on a break, and maybe with the added bonus of helping her figure out if she’s actually a little bit queer.

but taylor falls hard. as i already said, i think taylor was infatuated with karlie’s personality, success, and skinniness. that’s why taylor is willing to engage in such an unhealthy and un-reciprocal relationship: she’s willing to tolerate josh’s presence, because her brain is so fixated on karlie that she’s willing to endure anything for her. taylor may even recognize that kaylor is doomed, but she’s so in love/obsessed that she can’t bring herself to care about anything other than the utter infatuation she feels in this present moment. (this was true of me and my friend – my friend would literally vent to me about her long-term on-again-off-again boyfriend, and i was willing to endure it because of how obsessed with her i was.) or maybe taylor’s somewhat in denial about josh. (this was also true of me and my friend – i had such a hard time conceptualizing that she had feelings for the man that my brain, to some extent, refused to fully grasp the reality of that.) or maybe taylor was even in denial about how intensely she loved karlie, convincing herself that she just really valued her platonic friendship (i also did this – it took me months to admit that i had a crush on my friend and admit that my level of obsession wasn’t normal gal pal behavior – even though i was already out to myself.) also keep in mind the eating disorder dynamic here – taylor looked to karlie as an idol regarding how to eat healthy, exercise, be skinny, and be successful. the mindset of people engaged in eating disorders tends to be obsessive and unhealthy to the extent of being willing to ignore reality / unknowingly refusing to accept reality, possibly including the reality of josh, if taylor feels like her skinniness is dependent on her connection with karlie.

so basically, karlie sees this as a gal pal fling, friends with the occasional casual benefit. taylor, conversely, is infatuated with karlie. one thing that really confirms this for me is kissgate. taylor was liking kaylor shipped tumblr posts shortly before kissgate – she obviously was feeling something for karlie that night. but karlie wasn’t committed to taylor to the same level – yes they (allegedly) made out, but karlie made out with josh immediately afterwards. /// to taylor, kaylor is a ship, an endgame. but to karlie, taylor is just a fun little pit stop, and she’s gonna go make out with her real boyfie immediately after.

eventually, the friendship inevitably implodes, leading to their breakup in 2016. some straw finally breaks the camel’s back on this relationship which was unhealthy and doomed from day 1.

now let’s look at lyrical evidence from repuation that supports my theory.

lyrical evidence from reputation:

ready for it

the bearding anthem. verses “he” are joe, as confirmed by the music video. chorus “you” is her fantasy idealized version of long-term kaylor.

there’s a reason that the “you” relationship (in the chorus) is happening IN HER DREAMS and not in real life – she pines for this committed and serious relationship with karlie, but that’s not reality.

but taylor has hope that it might happen – “i know i’m gonna be with you, so I TAKE MY TIME.” she imagines they’ll be friends-to-lovers, and she’s willing to wait as long as necessary for them to fully reach that lovers stage

this is a stretch, but “thief”/“robber” may refer to how she’s “stealing” karlie from josh lol. “touch me and you’ll never be alone” may also be a cheeky reference how taylor was like a temporary placeholder for josh – when karlie felt alone bc she and josh were on a break, taylor was like “touch me karlie, to keep you occupied while josh has left you alone. and oh yeah, if you end up in a relationship with me, then i promise that you’ll never be alone, bc i will commit to you, unlike that josh boy. i will be so much better than him, if you just let me.”

end game (but only the chorus/verse which taylor wrote)

“i WANNA be your endgame” – taylor is not in a committed relationship with karlie. as karlie sees it, they’re just fooling around. but taylor wants more than that: she wants to be karlie’s endgame.

“you and me would be a big conversation” bc they’re gay. (sorry joseph matthew alwyn, this line is not about you)

“i don’t wanna touch you …… like the other girls do” may be a reference to how karlie is gal pals with plenty of her female friends (example – her platonic yet very affectionate relationship with toni garrn). but taylor wants more than that – she wants their touches to be romantic rather than just platonic/occasionally casually sexual.

“i don’t wanna hurt you” – taylor fears that she’s bad news for karlie (a sentiment repeated in the first line of delicate, the bridge of i did something bad, etc.). this may be internalized homophobia – the predatory lesbian falls in love with her pure/innocent straight best friend and then corrupts her with homosexuality.

“but i ain’t tryna play” – taylor wants this relationship to be more than just the occasional fun/playful/casual hook up. she wants to be karlie’s end game.

“i hit you like ‘bang’, we tried to forget it, but we just couldn’t” may refer to the first time they hooked up. it was unexpected, just happened so suddenly (“like ‘bang’”). and they were just going to put it past them – sometimes friends hook up, it’s whatever. but taylor can’t move on from it.

“your body is gold” – self-explanatory. karlie is the gold rush girl, after all.

“you’ve been calling my bluff on all my usual tricks” reminds me of how i used to try to communicate my seriousness/love to my friend, but she’d laugh it off and assume i was joking. conversely, perhaps the “trick” is that taylor is pretending that she’s not super invested in karlie—maybe karlie is catching on to the fact that taylor is infatuated with her in a ~gay way~. taylor denies it, but karlie calls her bluff on that statement.

“here’s the truth from my red lips” – but in the music video, her lips aren’t red when she says this line. this may allude to all of the lying involved in her relationship with karlie (such as lying about just how in love with karlie she really was). or taylor may have her lips a different color because the truth has changed from the time she wrote this song to the time she’s filming the video – when she wrote this song, it was true that she wanted to be karlie’s endgame. but by the time rep era is here and they’re filming this video, the kaylor friendship is over, and it is no longer true that taylor wants to be karlie’s endgame.

i did something bad

just like in “ready for it”, i think the verses primarily refer to bearding (or maybe calvin/kimye, idk), but the chorus is about karlie.

“they say did something bad / then why’s it feel so good” – it is bad that she slept with karlie despite the fact that karlie is in a complicated long term relationship with josh. but the sex felt good ¯\_ (ツ)_/¯

“and i’d do it over and over and over again / IF I COULD” – this implies that taylor only did ~the bad thing~ a few times, and she was unable to do it more times, even though she wanted to. this lines up with my theory that she and karlie hooked up a few times (casually in karlie’s eyes), but taylor wanted it to be more than just a few times (she wanted to be karlie’s endgame). but they couldn’t get to that committed place of routinely having sex bc karlie was still low key hung up on josh.

this is a very unlikely reach but – “he says ‘don’t throw away a good thing’” – “he” might be josh speaking to karlie about their relationship.

in the bridge, taylor says that she is a witch being unjustly burned. the witch is burned because she is being accused of the sin of dark magic – this parallels josh accusing taylor of being a witch who committed the sin of sleeping with his girlfriend, or maybe even the sin of “corrupting” the pure straight girl karlie. furthermore, the bridge invokes religious imagery of purgatory. and tbh, religious imagery is almost always gay xoxo.

don’t blame me

“don’t blame me, love made me crazy” again implies that taylor has committed a sort of ~crime~, such as the ~crimes~ i just mentioned regarding the don’t blame me bridge.

“my drug is my baby” – the drug reference makes me think of dependency. the obsession and infatuation i experienced with my friend (and that i suspect taylor experienced with karlie) is sort of like a drug dependency – and just like a drug dependency, the need for each other is not reciprocal (the drug does not need you back).

“shaking, pacing, i just need you” implies that taylor does not have “you”, which is consistent with my theory that she wanted kaylor to be endgame whereas karlie was only willing to doing occasional gal pal hook ups.

“for you, i would cross the line” / “they say she’s gone too far this time” – sleeping with josh kushner’s ~innocent straight~ girlfriend certainly crosses a line, lol.

“i would waste my time” – as i mentioned in my ready for it analysis, taylor hopes that kaylor be friends-to-lovers. she’s willing to wait as long as necessary for them to fully reach that lovers stage, even though she recognizes that the relationship is doomed and thus a waste of time.

“my name is whatever you decide” – we don’t have to “girlfriends.” we can just be “friends with benefits” or “gal pals” or whatever name you decide, because i am so desperate to have you at all that i will accept you in any form.

“i’m insane, but i’m your baby” – acknowledging that this unhealthy relationship/infatuation she has with karlie is “insane”

“halo hiding my OBSESSION” – “obsession” (!!!!) (that’s what i’ve been saying kaylor was!!!). also, “halo” is a religious metaphor, and religious metaphors are always gay xoxo. and this is a reach, but as a victoria’s secret angel, karlie wears a halo.

“i once was poison ivy, but now i’m your daisy” – i’m sorry, but i’ll never get over the fact that karlie tagged the daisy as taylor, and then taylor drew a picture of a daisy in an identical position above the word “daisy” in the handwritten lyrics.

“for you, i would fall from grace / just to touch your face” – religious metaphors are gay xoxo!

delicate – unsure if this song is about karlie (i think it’s more likely about lily or even joe), but if it is about karlie, it does align well with my kaylor theory.

“this ain’t for the best” – doomed relationship due to josh, corruption of straight girl, karlie won’t commit, etc.

“we can’t make / any promises” – karlie can’t commit to taylor like taylor wants/needs

“is it cool that i said all that? is it chill that you’re in my head? cuz i know that it’s delicate” – is it cool that i have gay feelings for you, bestie, because i know we’re toeing a very delicate line between friends and lovers?

“third floor on the west side” – iirc, the master bedroom of karlie’s west side apartment was on the third floor

“do the girls back home touch you like i do?” – contrasting platonic girls’ touches to the type of touch taylor is giving her. (similar vibe to “i don’t wanna touch you …… like the other girls do” in end game)

“stay here, honey, I DON’T WANNA SHARE” – i don’t wanna share you with josh

“I PRETEND YOU’RE MINE ALL THE DAMN TIME” – implies that karlie is not hers all the time (because she’s josh’s)

“i like you …… i want you” – taylor is Yearning™ for a deeper/more serious relationship with karlie

look what you made me do

i don’t think this song has much substance, but it may draw on themes/emotions from the kaylor friendship break up.

“i don’t like your games” – i don’t like how you led me on, making me feel like we could be forever when, in reality, you were never going to commit to me because you loved josh

“don’t like your tilted stage” – this reminds me of the power imbalance i mentioned earlier: taylor was obsessed with karlie and idolized her. karlie did not reciprocate this dedication and infatuation. because taylor’s love for karlie is so much more intense than karlie’s love for her, the metaphorical scale is imbalanced, making it tilt.

“the role you made me play, of the fool” – you made me out to be a fool, ready to confess my undying love even though you could never reciprocate. // furthermore, the “role” may refer to how they had to act like platonic girl squad besties as per their pr arrangement (reminds me of how karlie publicly said “taylor and i are still besties” after karlie’s name wasn’t on the junior jewels shirt in the lwymmd mv, how karlie promo-ed the “Me!” filter on Instagram, the song closure, etc.)

“your perfect crime” – the crime of sleeping with taylor despite being low key still with josh

“i got smarter” – i began to realize how unhealthy this warped and imbalanced friendship was

“you asked me for a place to sleep / locked me out and threw a feast” – this may refer to karlie had a ~designated bestie sleepover room~ in taylor’s house, and that enty blind about how karlie used taylor’s credit card and that caused a feud lol

i do not think that “so it goes” is about karlie – it’s too reciprocal. i don’t think gorgeous is about karlie specifically – maybe lily or just women in general. and i agree with andy’s theory that getaway car is more so an exercise in storytelling than a song that contains substantive clues about her relationships.

king of my heart

we have the photos showing that taylor wrote/recorded this after facetiming with karlie to watch the sunset together. taylor wrote this right after that romantic coded date, presumably during a high point of their friendship/relationship – as such, this song is more idealistic than most other kaylor songs. taylor is hopeful about the future of a committed endgame kaylor. (but, we’ll also see that taylor does still have some insecurities about kaylor.)

“now you try on calling me baby like trying on clothes” – karlie is just “trying on” calling her baby. karlie is new to this whole wlw thing, and she won’t be wearing these metaphorical clothes (a wlw relationship) for long – she’s just trying them on. furthermore, “trying on clothes” may reference how karlie is a model.

“salute to me, i’m your american queen” – i think i remember from my ttb days (derogatory) that there’s a video clip of karlie calling taylor “the perfect all-american girl” whilst doing a salute.

“you move to me like a motown beat” may reference the “motown beats” instagram post where kaylor are putting on lipstick together

the fact that taylor includes the line “all the boys and their expensive cars … never took me quite where you do” may be a sign of taylor’s insecurity. i think this may be a message to karlie – ‘yes, josh is a rich boy with expensive cars, but look, we are so much better than joshlie is.’ calling josh a mere “boy” is also a funny little insult – he’s not a man, he’s just some silly little boy who can’t satisfy you like i can.

“body and soul” – i think it might be significant that taylor specifies body AND soul. they’re already connected by the soul through their close friendship – but now they’re connecting sexually with their bodies as well. conversely, this could reference how they’ve already connected bodily through casual gal pal hook ups, but now taylor believes that they’re starting to connect on that romantic soul level as well.

“school girl crush” gives me such unreciprocated crush vibes. maybe taylor’s crush was unreciprocated for a while, but she has reason to believe that their relationship is growing into ~more than just friends~, as she’s desired

“drinking beer out of plastic cups” – knicks game

“say you fancy me, not fancy stuff” – “fancy” could just be straight-bait to make swiftwyn beards look more convincing, or it could be a re-dedication of the song to joe (just how the bridge of dress re-dedicated that song to joe). (for context, i believe in swiftwyn beards-to-lovers.) but what’s important here is that “fancying stuff” made me think of how, as a model, karlie is like madona’s Material Girl. rich boy josh with his fancy cars can give karlie more “stuff” to satisfy her inner material girl, but taylor wants to show karlie that she can give her deeper fulfillment than that.

“this is enough” – this might be taylor reassuring herself that their relationship, despite being in a weird ~gal pals who hook up occassionally~ is enough. even though they’re not ~girlfriends~, the relationship is enough, because taylor believes that they’re working their way towards that ~body and soul endgame wives~ type of relationship.

“all at once” may refer to a seemingly sudden shift in the nature of their relationship – one day, they’re (infuriatingly) just gal pals who hook up, but all of a sudden, taylor has reason to believe/hope that maybe they’re starting to be more than that, maybe inching their way towards endgame territory.

i do not think that dancing with our hands tied is necessarily about karlie. it seems too reciprocal to be just about her; it might be an amalgamation of many relationships and how she frequently fears being outed.

dress

“a golden tattoo” – drake’s party. also, karlie is gold rush girl

“all of this silence, pining and anticipation / my hands are shaking from holding back from you / all of this silence, pining and desperately waiting” – once again implies that taylor does not have karlie the way she wants her. there’s “pining” because she wants more than karlie can give. and taylor is “desperately waiting” in hopes that maybe one day karlie will reciprocate her love to the full extent that she desires

“i don’t want you like a best friend” – self-explanatory

“carve your name into my bedpost” – taylor is making a request – ‘please commit, please leave a sign that you are committed to me forever, please be my endgame.’ note the dichotomy between this plea for karlie to take the initiative to make the carving, versus the statement in the first verse of how karlie inadvertently left “an indentation in the shape of” her. the indentation was not an act of karlie’s chosen will – taylor just so happened to fall in love with her, and now she’s asking karlie to reciprocate by making that carving.

“inescapable, i’m not even gonna try” – taylor is resigned to the fact that she’s fallen for karlie, even though the relationship might be doomed (as the next line demonstrates)

“if I get burned, at least we were electrified” – taylor is acknowledging that this relationship is low key doomed, and if anyone is going to get hurt, it’ll be taylor. taylor will be the one getting “burned” by the intensity of her infatuation, whereas karlie won’t be burned because she never reciprocated that intense love. /// going back to my commentary on “carve your name into my bedpost” – note how taylor frequently references karlie “claiming” her (with “marks”, “indentations”, “carvings”, and now “burns”), whereas taylor never states that she’s claimed karlie in any way. i think this may reflect taylor’s recognition that she has fallen much harder for karlie than karlie has for her. karlie does not bear marks, indentations, carvings, or burns from their relationship, because she was never as committed as taylor was. but taylor bears all those things because it is she who fell so hard for karlie.

“you kiss my face and we’re both drunk” reminds me of that trope where the gal pals only make out when they’re drunk because they’re convinced they’re actually straight. maybe karlie is one of those straight girls who only has so much capacity for wlw sex, meaning that it happens more often when she’s drunk than when sober.

i do not think that “this is why we can’t have nice things” is a direct karlie song. it may indirectly reference how karlie “broke” the “nice thing” that was their relationship by refusing to commit, but i don’t think that the song has anything substantive to show us about kaylor.

i’m not sure if i think “call it what you want” is a kaylor song. on some level, “fit like a daydream” does sound like eating disorder taylor idolizing karlie’s body, and it’s interesting to me how the subject of the song expresses virtually no devotion to taylor, whereas taylor spends the whole song telling the subject “call it what you want – call us girlfriends, gal pals, whatever you want as long as i can keep you.” this reminds me a bit of kaylor.

new year’s day

“don’t read the last page” because i know that this book has a sad ending. this relationship is doomed, and it’s going to end poorly. but let’s put that out of our minds – i’m to infatuated with you in this moment to think about how this will inevitably end.

“i stay when you’re lost and i’m scared and you’re turning away” – when karlie is “lost” (leaving taylor to go back to josh) or “turning away” from taylor to go back to josh, taylor stays. she’s scared that she’s going to lose karlie, but she’s still going to stay, because she’s willing to “waste her time” (don’t blame me) waiting for karlie to choose her.

“i stay when it’s hard or it’s wrong or we’re making mistakes” – taylor is willing to stay through the mess of their imbalanced and un-reciprocal relationship even when that inevitably gets hard. their relationship is “wrong” because karlie is josh’s, and maybe kaylor was a mistake because of joshlie, but taylor doesn’t care – she loves karlie too much, so she’s going to stay and wait for karlie to choose her.

“i WANT your midnights” – implying that taylor does not currently have them, because karlie is not reciprocating the level of love taylor is giving and wants in return.

“hold on to the memories” implies that this relationship will be ending soon (because it is doomed), leaving karlie only memories to hold onto.

“i will hold onto you” – this goes back to the theme of taylor’s obsession. karlie is her drug – she’s addicted to her, and she will “waste her time” eternally waiting for karlie to choose her because she’s that obsessed with her.

“please don’t ever become a stranger” – why is taylor worrying about this? because the relationship is doomed, and becoming strangers feels like this horrible yet inevitable ending that will be a part of “the last page”

thanks for reading, and sorry about any typos!

⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️

SUBMISSION

I found this as part of my Insta ask era but let’s look over this for thoughts. Haven’t read it yet but I know anon was stressed it got lost (it did because y’all talk too much but also don’t stop I love it).

#nat talks kaylor #submission

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ghostie-gengar · 3 years

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Ok so i have had this idea of an AU where N has like an actual known mother for like so long and i just. i have to get it out i need to so here’s a very very watered down version of her story with events that are so unlikely but whatever i just (warning it’s really long despite being a summary so prepared to get smacked with mom lore)

so. Her name is helen and she is a very nice lady. like SUPER NICE like you could break into her house and she’d be like “oh hey :) would you like some cookies i can put on a pot of tea” but also not a doormat. she Would Not hesitate to tell ghetsis off or smack anyone who hurts her kids.

anyways helen and ghetsis met in their mid to late teens, became friends (somehow :/ ghetsis was quite the charismatic young guy i imagine) and got married in their 20s. after a couple years twins!! im sure i don’t need to tell you how that happened. anyways concordia and anthea popped up and they were quite the handful but helen absolutely adored them and ghetsis was just kinda like “ok whatever children”

oh also im not sure if i’ll keep this but helen can sooooort of understand pokemon and N got that ability from her

oh also btw helen and ghetsis formed team plasma together see helen’s idea was to create like a pokemon relief center kinda like a sanctuary idk and ghetsis’ branch of family was kinda like a cult that thought humans and pokemon should be separate and ghetsis wanted to use that for more power and saw helen and was like “i can use this :)” anyways moving on

One day helen and ghetsis were taking a lovely stroll and they came across these young triplets who were homeless and helen was like “mine” so they adopted them and ghetsis twisted it to make it seem like He was the cool one who saved them so they’d listen to him (shadow triad)

this is kinda where team plasma begins to seem more evil and helen is catching on but she’s like “noooo ghetsis wouldn’t do that” (girl you’re wrong)

anyways once concordia and anthea are like eight or nine a little natural harmonia gropius pops up!! and helen is overjoyed cuz like she secretly always wanted six kids and now one two three four five six!!!!

she and ghetsis are also quick to notice how much n looks like ghetsis and ghetsis is mentally like “haha yes mini me >:D”

Then team plasma is very clearly a cult like helen can’t even deny it anymore and she tries to bring it up to ghetstink but he just waves her off like “now now dear don’t be silly” and she’s like >:(

ghetsis starts taking about making n the king of team plasma and helen’s like “well only if he wants to right” and ghetsis is like “no”

he only wants to use N more when he figured out N could understand pokemon cuz like he’d babble to helen’s minccino (oh yeah btw helen has a minccino)

theeeeeeeeeeen helen walks in on ghetsis being mmmmmmmmmmmm not good to concordia and concordia and anthea are both crying and helen is like “DUDE” and makes him sit down and have a serious talk about proper parenting which ghetsis also brushes off

then after a couple of days, concordia and anthea run away and helen is obviously absolutely devastated and she and ghetsis look for weeks. months. And no sign of them. ghetsis is like “well i guess they’re dead nvm then” and helen is like “DUDE” and she looks in the girls’ bedroom and finds a note from the girls that tells her to keep n safe and not to worry about them

after thinking about all the crap stuff ghetsis has done lately helen takes n in the middle of the night and runs. no looking back. bye bye ghetstink :( and life is much better honestly

she lives in that trailer in lostlorn with lil baby n and her plan was to wait for him to be able to walk and fend for himself and then they’d both go look for concordia and anthea but until then peaceful forest life playing with pokemon

And ghetsis upon waking up and seeing his wife and kid is gone he’s very upset. after a few years however he’s walking in like white forest or something and stUmbles upon concordia and anthea and he’s like “frickin sweet man” and snatches them and they are Not Happy but when they get back to the castle and see helen and n are gone? they are So Relieved those two got away even if they had to stay there

Anyways once n was three or four he was fine he could walk and he loved to wander around and make pokemon friends and he’d always come back to the trailer

one day ghetsis was walking through lostlorn for no particular reason and he came across n playing and recognized him immediately and was like “Oh My God No Way” and committed grand theft natural right there on the spot

but before he left he left a note for helen to find that said “did you really think you could hide forever” just to rub salt in the wound

anyways helen is like man it’s getting late i wonder where little natural is and so she gets a pidove to go look for him and the pidove brings back the note and when she sees it. tears. literal tears and sobbing she’s like “oh my god he has him He Has Him” and then she’s like “k you know what? Imma go get him i will go GET my child from this stinky man watch me grab my coat and i will get back the boy and if he has the girls too i’ll take them too and”

and then!! The shadow triad appear in the trailer (they all have names that only helen bothered to learn) and they’re like “hey so we kinda have strict orders from ghetsis that if we see you in the castle or anywhere near team plasma we kinda have to tell ghetsis and he’ll hurt n so maayyybe don’t?”

and helen is like crap. like genuinely there is no good solution cuz if she goes and fails to get the n back ghetsis would hurt n and if she did get the n back ghetsis would hurt the shadow triad and so she’s stuck and she has no choice but to just let everything happen

But!!! This story has a happy ending!!!

so i didn’t mention this cuz my thoughts are all over the place but helen likes to paint and so in order to cope with everything she painted her kids and they’re like really good anyways

N meets her at some point after bw2 cuz he was in lostlorn and it was raining and zoroark ran into her trailer and he was like “zoroark you Cannot Be Here we need to go” and helen walked in and she recognized him immediately like she was internally like holy arceus above that is my son that is my son that is my

but N doesn’t remember her like at all so she doesn’t want to say anything in case she overwhelms him and N is like “i am so sorry for coming in here my zoroark just hey you know what i’ll just leave”

Meanwhile she’s trying not to cry and she’s looking from n to a painting of n she did and she’s like holy arceus and she’s like “nono you can stay for tea until the rain is over”

And n had also noticed the painting and he was like that’s literally me but didn’t want to say anything

So n stays for tea and they have a lovely chat and helen is like this is literally my son and he has no idea who i am and then the rain stops so n leaves and helen is just like. Sad

But then n comes back another day and stays for tea again cuz they kinda became buddies and n is about to leave but he stops. at the doorway and slowly turns around and is like “i feel like i know you from somewhere” and helen is like “???” about to cry again

And you can like see the gears turning in n’s brain and he just freezes. and he looks up. And he’s like “.......mom?”

tears. Everywhere and both of them are sobbing and hugging each other and helen’s like “omg you’re so tall look at you how you’ve grown” and more tears and they literally hug for like hours while helen tells the story and helen was like starting to calm down and n’s like “btw connie and anthy are alive” and she just starts crying again and then they go to the house in driftveil so helen can see the girls and everyone just starts crying the girls are freaking out cuz they never knew what happened to mom and rood was there and crying like “mistress helen you’re alive ma’am” and just. big group hug and the shadow triad probably teleport in there for like five minutes and helen will absolutely not let them go without hugs even if they still work for ghetsis and yeah. that’s the very long summary of n’s mom imagine how long it would have been if i like actually wrote it professionally ok bye

#pokemon #pokemon n #pokemon bw #pokemon black and white #n harmonia #natural harmonia gropius #pokemon oc #ghetsis #team plasma

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kareofbears · 3 years

Text

plainly in truth, chapter 3/5

"Without you around, it's sorta like stuff is just kinda...bleh."

—

Or: hiding, confiding, and misguiding.

read on ao3 or below the cut :)

Ryuji grips the letter like it was silver and he was a werewolf in the full moon.

He picks it up, skims over the first line before putting it down beside him, feeling worse every time he does it, only able to read the fine-printed lettering from the flickering lamp post above him. The constant change in light would normally bug him, but he doesn’t really care about it now; it’s not like the words would change in his hand, and he’s long since needed to actually read it to know what it reads.

His feet dangle over the canal, enjoying the way a rush of adrenaline would go through him when he looks down into the deep waters. It’s late enough in the night that even with the city lights around him, he can’t gauge how deep it goes.

Soseikawa Park was only a five minute walk from Odori Park, but with the narrow river and steeped hills, Ryuji found it secluded enough to let himself sit. Breathe. Not exist, even for just a few minutes. It’s like having his own bedroom, except it smells faintly like a sewer and there’s an intersection about ten meters above where he sat underneath the overpass. If he can ignore the never-ending rumble of cars and trucks driving above him, it can almost be considered peaceful.

He lets himself fall back, the grass tickling the back of his neck and his spine screaming in relief. They’re heading out again in two days, which means more days of being in an inescapable RV surrounded by his best friends who are keeping an eye on him because they’re good people who don’t know how to mind their own fucking business.

Idly, he lets his hands pull and brings it to his face—blades of grass. He lets it get taken by the wind. After brief consideration, he shoves the letter back into his pocket before he can do the same thing to it.

He is so tired.

Blindly, he hits the vague area of where his pocket is and fishes out his phone, hitting the first speed dial before he can talk himself out of it. As two rings go by, he stupidly hopes that she doesn’t pick up, as if she hasn’t ever missed a phone call from him even when she’s at work.

The third ring gets cut off halfway through. “Ryu!”

Despite himself, he grins. “Hey, ma. Checking in for the weekly call.”

“I was just thinking about you,” she says, and he can hear the laundry machine run in the background. “I was wondering if you had eaten today.”

“Ma, you ain’t gotta worry about that kinda thing anymore. I’m a big boy now.”

“You’re breaking my heart!” He can almost see her, phone tucked in the crook of her neck, work-worn hands folding her laundry as fast as she can so as to not hold up the next person in line. “It doesn’t matter how big you are, you’re my boy. How can I not think about whether my boy is eating or not?”

“All I’ve done on this trip is eat, ma.”

“Oh, and Akira! How’s that handsome boy doing? Still taking the world by storm?”

That pulls a genuine laugh from him—he never needs to hold back when it comes to talking about Akira, at least. “You know it. He’s the only guy in the world who can stand toe-to-toe with me in chowing down. I swear, he’s slipping some of it under the table ‘cause he’s so damn fast. Forty seconds! Forty seconds to inhale an extra large beef bowl! Blows my mind, seriously.”

“Could never do anything in halves, can he?” she chuckles, before the quality of her voice shifts. “And are you enjoying yourself?”

He hesitates. “Yeah, of course. It’s a roadtrip across Japan, how can I not?”

“Good.” There’s some crackling over the receiver, and he guesses she’s probably adjusting the basket full of clothes on her hip. “That’s all I want to hear. As long as you’re happy, Ryu, I’m a happy old woman.”

Ryuji opens his mouth, ready to console her.

I’m always happy!

You worry too much, ma.

There’s nothing to worry about.

“Sorry, but,” he swallows thickly. “I think they’re calling for me? So—”

“Alright,” she says, and he might be imagining the disappointed tinge to it. “Call back when you can, okay sweetheart? I miss you.”

“I miss you too,” he clears his throat. “I love you, ma.”

“I love you too, Ryu.”

He hangs up, letting the phone slip out of his fingers. It lands hard on the flat grass

For a long moment, he just lays there, listening to the gentle lapping waves and cars honking with impatience of people who have somewhere to be. He tries to meditate for half a minute, with all the information he had learned from a couple of YouTube videos, and gives up, because of course he does. Squeezing his eyes shut, he can’t do anything about the creeping dread that’s in his stomach getting stronger, squeezing and squeezing until he feels sick. It’s like his insecurities are having this huge fight against each other, feeding off of one another until it gets too big for him to handle and all he can do is breathe and try to do something about it.

And he’s fucking sick of it—breathing. He’s sick of the stupid breathing techniques, sick of counting down from ten and waiting for his own heart to chill out because his brain won’t stop reminding him of everything he did wrong, of shit he’s still doing wrong because at least this way, nobody knows what he did was wrong. It’s just him that can point and laugh at himself, and that’s way better than having the world do it for him.

He doesn’t cry, because he’s not a crier. He’s the type of guy to throw a fist through drywood before shedding a tear, and he hates that about himself. Rather than do something that will actually help, Ryuji lays there, perfectly still. Listening. Waiting for a meteor to fall on him, or for the overpass to crash its entire weight on top of him.

Instead, he hears footsteps.

His heart rate slows by a fraction, and opens his eyes to meet gray ones. “Hey.”

“Hi,” Akira says, a smile in his voice. “How did you know it was me?”

Ryuji almost feels offended. He would know Akira by sound alone, the way his heels would click in the Metaverse. The way the balls of his feet would strike the earth, hardly muffled by grass or cheap sneakers or anything else as trivial. Ryuji would know he was there; no matter how blind he was with hatred for himself, his love for Akira would always guide him back to where he needs to be.

“Lucky guess.”

“One hell of a guess.” He plops down onto the grass and Ryuji lifts his head, allowing Akira to wiggle until he could use his lap as a pillow. “Your turn,” Akira says.

“My turn to what?”

“To ask me how I knew where you were.”

“Oh.” He lets his eyes slide shut again. “I kinda just assumed you could do that.”

“You assume too much of me sometimes.”

“I assume the right amount.” Ryuji refuses to shiver when he feels long fingers start to card through his hair. “You’re giving me goosebumps,” he sighs.

“That’s a good thing, I think.” The fingers pull away and he’s about to complain when he feels something gets thrown over his torso. “Here. You always end up forgetting to wear an extra layer when you go out like this.”

Ryuji rearranges Akira’s jacket over himself. “Sap.”

“You know it.” He resumes combing through his hair, and Ryuji lets himself relax, just a little. It’s strange—it’s hard as hell being around other people nowadays, and even though Akira can make him feel that sometimes, mostly it helps the eternal twisting of his stomach to settle.

“You’re good at that,” Ryuji mutters.

“Thank you. I’ve had plenty of practice with Morgana.” And just to make it worse, he uses a little bit of nail on his nape, sending electricity running down all the way to his fingertips.

His mouth twists unhappily. “Don’t do shit like that while talking about the cat, for the love of god.”

Akira does it again, like the little shit he is. “You still have that weird thing with your neck?”

“Quit it!” Ryuji slaps his thigh and he can’t muster much anger when he can feel Akira’s shoulders shake from silent laughter. “You’re not as funny as you think you are.”

“You’re right.” Gently, softly, like the world’s lightest feather, he feels lips brush his temple. “I’m funnier.”

His eyes open, and his entire vision is obscured by curly black hair and tender eyes. “You’re right,” he breathes. “You’re funnier.”

Akira bends down again, and Ryuji catches his lips, overflowing with something soft but unafraid, and it’s so good that Ryuji reaches for his cheek just to make it last a little bit longer.

When they break off, Akira kisses his temple again, this time on the left side. “Do you know what day it is?”

“Uh,” he scratches his head, brain a little fuzzy. “Tuesday?”

“It’s Wednesday, and I meant the date. It’s August tenth.”

“Okay?”

Akira thumbs at his collarbone. “I know this might be a little lame that I know it by heart, but I left Tokyo on March 19th. That would mean it’s been—”

“One hundred forty-four days since you moved away,” he finishes. “I know.”

Akira blinks, and then laughs, and Ryuji knows it’s an especially good one because sound actually comes out this time. “Yes,” he says, elated. “Exactly what I was thinking.”

“I told you dude, we’re really on that telepathy shit.”

“We really are.” A pause. “I miss you.”

He’s about to joke—I’m right here, you big dummy—but find that he just can’t. “I miss you too.”

They can’t say what they mean: I will miss you. Summer vacation doesn’t last forever, and two months will always be a hell of a lot shorter than the rest of the ten months that they’ll be apart. Somehow, he dreads seeing Akira gone, and he’ll dread seeing Akira back in Tokyo because it would mean that he’d actually have to see what Ryuji’s really like. Actively pushing away his best friend just so he doesn’t have to see his failures; doesn’t that just make him the worst piece of shit in the world?

There’s a gap, though. A little loophole. A crack in the timeline. A place where maybe he’s allowed to be a hollowed out version of happy; the now.

“Tomorrow’s our last day in Sapporo?”

“Yeah?” Akira replies, surprised at the change in tone.

“Which means Jail stuff is done, right? All your grocery shopping and Sophia Prime’s been ordered and packed up?”

“Yes,” he says, a lilt in his voice. “It’s all done.”

Ryuji sits up and faces him, reaching for his wrists, relishing in the heartbeat thumping against his palms. “Let’s do something. I don’t care what, but let’s do something. Eat at a diner, go to a museum, rob a bank, whatever.” He runs his thumb along the veins there, long since those bumps have been ingrained in his brain. “Let’s do something, just you and me.”

“Are you asking me out on a date, Sakamoto?” He has a cocky look in his eye, and Ryuji’s half-tempted to kiss him again just to wipe it clean off his face. “You know I’d follow you anywhere.”

He knows. That’s the scary part. Would Akira still follow someone he doesn’t know as well as he thinks he does? “I’ll get us lost,” he jokes.

Akira doesn’t laugh. “I’d rather be lost with you than learn to lose you.”

It’s been ages since he’s been flustered at anything Akira does, but he feels a rush of heat crawl up his neck. “I’ll—” Ryuji shakes his head, willing his embarrassment to go away. “Shit, uh—”

“I’ll pick where to go,” he interrupts, a little too smug for his liking. “I’d say I’ll pick you up at your place, but…”

“Yeah, yeah, you’re a comedian,” Ryuji rolls his eyes. “I’ll be ready whenever.”

“Fantastic.” Akira checks his phone, wincing. “It’s late.”

He grips his wrist tightly. “I know.”

Thankfully, he’s never needed to explain much to Akira. “Okay,” he says softly. “Ten more minutes?”

“Yeah.” He lets his eyes slide shut once more, letting out a breath. The world will keep spinning. His stomach will keep twisting. Time will keep marching on, but at least he has this. “Ten minutes sounds good.”

—

The first words that Futaba says as she enters the RV was: “Oh, hell.”

“Hello Futaba-chan, Yusuke-kun,” Haru greets cheerfully from the booth. “How was your shopping trip?”

“...Fine,” she replies, stepping aside to let him in, lugging a four-foot tall canvas in his arms that accidentally hits the ceiling. “Got a new Featherman action figure.”

“I got a canvas,” Yusuke answers from behind the wall of white. “Though I assume you can see that.”

“I can.” Her smile doesn’t falter, and it’s making the hair on Futaba’s nape rise like a nervous animal. “Quick question, since you both are here…”

Haru pulls a tote bag from underneath the table, and it’s so heavy that when she throws it on the table, her teacup nearly topples over. “Would you like to take a guess of what’s in this bag?”

A billion jokes pop into Futaba’s head, but both of them stay silent, terrified and confused. They both knew this was coming, but they didn’t expect her to be so forward about it.

“I suppose that’s a pretty strange question, I’m sorry. Let me try again.” She reaches in and pulls out thick, heavy textbooks, all brightly coloured and consist of beaming, diverse students on the front cover. “Care to tell me why you were both looking at cram books while we’re on our fun roadtrip?”

Yusuke pushes Futaba aside, eyes on the books and wide with shock. “You bought them?!” he exclaims.

“Wait—” Futaba hops repeatedly, trying to catch a glimpse from over his shoulder. “You bought all of them?”

“Of course.”

“But why?”

She thinks about it for a moment. “Hmm, think about it this way. If Akira’s in charge of the group as a whole, and Makoto’s in charge of the more analytical aspect of things, think of me as a somewhat stern yet loving parent who doesn’t quite know how to mind their own business.”

“I thought that was Ann’s job,” Futaba mutters, heart hammering in her chest.

“Now,” Haru leans forward, and as if to prove her role, speaks in a gentle tone. “I’m not mad at you. That would be ridiculous. But I saw you two looking at these books, and I know how expensive they can be, so I’ll give them to you.”

She blinks. “You would?”

“Absolutely!” Haru smiles wide. “On the condition that you tell me why you need them.”

Futaba and Yusuke exchange a glance, before Futaba makes a T with her hands. “Timeout!” she yells, dragging Yusuke by the collar out of the RV.

“What do we do?” he whispers once the door is shut. “It’s not as if we can tell her.”

“I don’t know, maybe we should?” she pushes up her glasses. “Damn, the things money can buy you. Our vow of silence is getting thrown out the window for two handfuls of yen.”

He looks her dead in the eyes. “I would tell the world my deepest secrets if it meant having lifetime access to a grocery store.”

“Don’t say that, you sellout!”

“I’m not selling out. My art already reveals the deepest portion of my soul, it’s not my fault that the common observers cannot pick up what I’m putting down.” He squints against the setting sun. “She’s waiting. What do we do?”

“Okay, okay, okay, just let me—” her mind whirrs rapidly, and for a second she really feels like Sophia. “Give me a second.”

“I have a suggestion,” he points at her. “If we’re not averse to lying, let’s tell them that you need them for school. You’re struggling with academics, you need a bit of outside help, so we took a look at the textbooks.”

“Good idea! Wait.” She frowns. “They’ll never buy it. Let’s say that you need them.”

“I’m at the top of my class!”

“But they don’t know that!” She balls her fists together, determined. “Okay, let’s do this.”

“I didn’t say yes to this.”

Futaba kicks the door open, making Haru pause wiping her spilt drink mid-stroke. “Inari’s struggling with his classes!”

“I—“ Yusuke stammers. “Yes,” he confirms. “I’m struggling with my classes. They’re mighty indeed, and even I find them difficult. I am...struggling.”

Haru looks at them doubtfully. “Yusuke is?”

“I am,” he answers as Futaba says, “He is.”

“Yusuke,” she repeats, gesturing to the neatly-stacked pile of textbooks on the table. “Is struggling with precalculus?”

They stare at her. “Yes,” Yusuke says, slowly. “I am struggling with previous calculus.”

“Out of curiosity, Yusuke,” Haru scratches her cheek. “Do you know what a parabola is?”

“Of course I do,” he replies with the wisdom of a thousand monks. “It’s a self-contradictory statement.”

“That’s a paradox,” Makoto corrects from the steering wheel.

“What the heck?” Futaba jumps a foot in the air. “Why are you here? Why were you hiding?”

“I like to sit here a few hours before we start another road trip,” she says, before glaring at them. “You two. Does this have to do with Ryuji?”

“T-timeout!”

Futaba makes a beeline to the door again, but Haru’s faster. She slips past them, standing in their way, perfect smile still in place. Sometimes Futaba forgets how strong she is in negotiations; her and Yusuke were probably tutorial levels compared to the upper management of Okumura Foods. “Answer her question, please.”

Yusuke sighs, tired. “You know what you’re asking for, don’t you? If we tell you what’s happening here, it would be breaking the trust of one of our teammates.”

“Yusuke!” Futaba hisses. “Are you really thinking about telling them? It’s not even our secret to tell.”

“No, it isn’t.” He makes eye contact with Makoto. “But she made a point. What would make us better friends: if we kept a secret to the grave while letting him suffer, or tell someone who can help even if it means being some sort of tattletale?”

“But…” she trails off, resolve crumbling. “Dude. It’s going to suck so much.”

“I know.” He pats her head, before moving to Ryuji’s backpack once more. “Don’t worry, I’m willing to take his anger if need be.” Yusuke gestures to the booth. “Everyone, take a seat. It’s about time this finally gets cleared up.”

Smoothing out the envelope in his hand, even more crumpled than when they had it last, he clears his throat, takes one last glance at Futaba to make sure. At her tentative nod, he begins to read its contents in a loud, clear voice.

When he finishes, they sit there, staring at the thick paper in silence.

“Oh my god,” Makoto breathes. “I knew it was bad, but—”

Haru shakes her head. “Not this bad. And he talked about it so much, but we didn’t even…” she glances down at the textbooks, idly rubbing its spine. “I didn’t think much of it.”

“None of us did,” Yusuke says. “But does that make it any better?”

They fall in silence again, but Futaba can hear the answer loud and clear. Hell no.

The door opens forcefully, pulling them out of their stupor.

“What’s up, my beloved friends!” Ann calls, shopping bags in tow. “God, I’m gonna miss Sapporo. Things here are so cheap compared to Tokyo, sheesh!” She sets them down, laughing when nobody says anything. “Jeez, what’s going on? Did I miss something?”

“Ann-chan,” Haru says carefully, all sense of cheer, for intimidation or otherwise, gone. “Take a seat. There’s something you should know.”

—

The Ferris wheel looms over them, blocking out most of the sunset behind it. “Nice,” Ryuji grins appreciatively. “I should’ve seen this one coming.”

“You should’ve,” Akira agrees, tugging him into the open carriage. He goes in willingly. “It was staring at you the whole time we’re in Sapporo. And besides, every romantic movie has a Ferris wheel scene, doesn’t it?”

“Oh yeah? Name one.”

“Death note.”

Ryuji makes a face, and Akira laughs. “Yeah, I know. Bad example.”

It’s a tight squeeze but they sit next to each other, ignoring the bench in front of them. The seats are hot, and even though it’s nearly evening, the heat barely eases up on them. Still, he finds himself pressing himself against Akira. He runs cold, much colder than Ryuji; narrow wrists are ice, prominent collarbones frost.

The two of them lean over the window, pointing out random scenery as if it were the first time they were seeing them. Restaurants, statues. Weird looking cars and flower beds. Decorated high rises and insects that fly by. It’s like they were tourists, or a retired couple who just want to travel the world. He’s never wanted to be old before, but Akira always has a way of making him change his mind.

Like clockwork—Ryuji makes a joke. Akira laughs. His heart feels lighter.

When he finds himself leaning against him, feet up on the bench, Akira wraps his arms around his shoulders unhesitatingly. Ryuji wonders if he can hear the way his heart thuds inside his bones. He wonders if he knows it's for him. The Ferris wheel stops, right at the very top, gently swaying like it were a giant cradle. They’re not very high up, but it’s far enough that he feels like he’s left the entire world behind.

Ryuji presses his lips against those wrists, relishing in the way he can feel the heartbeat increase. “You nervous?”

He can feel his head shake behind him. “I’m happy, I think,” Akira says in a hushed voice, like it was a secret, like it was a sin.

A breeze flows through, and Ryuji closes his eyes when lips press against just below his ear.

Would it be worth it to have a Palace? A Jail? Would it be worth it to lose himself, just to be in this moment for the rest of time?

Carefully, he flips himself sideways, just so he can press more of himself against Akira. The carriage rocks gently, and the metal bench underneath them is sharp and uncomfortable. Arms tighten around him. Chest to back, knee to knee, they couldn’t be closer, but Ryuji leans back, wanting nothing more than to bottle the rhythm of his breathing and the smell of his soap.

I’m happy, too, I think, he wants to say. If we stayed like this for the rest of our lives, until our skin is permanently tattooed into the hot steel and our bones are the only thing they take out of this bench because the rest of us had already rotted, then I’d be pretty damn happy.

Craning his neck backwards, Akira is already staring.

Then he’s kissing him—once, twice, again and again, and Ryuji realizes that something’s different. This wasn’t the kind of kiss he was used to. There was a desperate air to it, an urgent edge from both of them that neither was ready for. Stealing each other’s breath and giving it back; the cycle continues, the clock keeps ticking.

Ryuji pulls himself up, not breaking the kiss, cupping his cheek and soaking him in like a flower to the sun; an endless yearning, like he’d shrivel up and suffocate if it vanished. The sun framed Akira, and for a split second, he feels like he understands what Yusuke sees on a canvas.

When they part, foreheads leaning against each other, Ryuji lifts a trembling hand to wipe the tear that rolled down Akira’s cheek.

“What’s up?” he asks softly. “Is something wrong?”

“I feel like you’re a miracle, Ryuji.”

How do you respond to that? When the person who said it feels like they’re the one who’s magic, who’s too good to be true?

“Fuck miracles,” he says, pulling Akira in again.

—

The circuit felt like it ended too soon, but it’s night when they finally stepped off, holding hands and faces flushed. He hopes the ride operator doesn’t hate them, but he’s in too good of a mood to really complain.

Ryuji stops in his tracks when he sees who’s in front of them.

“Ann?” Akira questions, taken aback. Eyes dark and brows pulled close together, clutching her purse like a weapon of war—she looks like she’d just seen someone set an orphanage on fire.

Her voice is shockingly deep, gaze fixed on Ryuji. “I’m borrowing him for a second.”

Before either of them can say anything, Ann takes him by the bicep, and he can only glance at Akira before he’s dragged back into the Ferris wheel.

“Did you even pay—?”

“Don’t start,” she hisses, pushing him on the bench, hard. “Don’t you dare start, you damn liar.”

His blood runs cold. “What?”

No. That’s impossible.

“Don’t play dumb with me.” She shoves her hand in her bag and throws something rubber at him. “Do you know how long it took me to find a good one here? I spent my entire day in the shopping district—not looking for clothes, or shoes, or whatever the hell I thought would be fun. No, I spent our last day in Sapporo looking for that.”

Ryuji looks down at the hot compress in his hands, a lump in his throat.

“Because you weren’t doing anything to your knee,” she continues, jaw tight. “Despite me trying my best to help you get better. I thought that you must’ve been really fan-freaking-tastic at hiding the pain that you told me about. That I trusted was the truth because you’re one of my best friends and I trust you. I trust you with my life, my secrets—” Ann grits her teeth. “What the hell?”

“How did you find out?” he asks hoarsely.

She knows. If she knows, they could know. If they could know—

“Damn you, it doesn’t matter how I found out!” she throws her hands in the air, voice so hurt that it twists his insides impossibly tighter. “You think I would care? You think that this is important enough to lie to me about? Dammit, I don’t care that you—”

“Don’t say it,” he begs. “Please.”

“I don’t give a single shit that you failed second-year, Sakamoto!”

Her words ring against the steel walls, deafening.

Bile crawls up his esophagus, and he readies himself for another attack. But for some strange reason, his vision doesn’t blur. Instead, anger kicks in like it always does.

“You don’t care?” he asks, incredulous. “This doesn’t even have anything to do with you!”

“It does when you lie to me about it!” she yells back. “Do you not care about me? About your friends who would go to hell and back for you?”

“How dare you—!”

“You lied to me, you hid it from everyone else, you ignored our advice because it doesn’t mean shit to you.” She points a finger at him. “And look where that got you.”

“Shut up.”

“We all noticed, you know! Each and every one of us noticed that something was up, even the literal robot—”

“Shut the hell up, Ann.”

“And for what? All you accomplished was hurt our feelings, hold in yours, and keep it from the love of your life—”

Ryuji stands up, rocking the carriage and nearly toppling Ann off her feet.

“It’s because I fucking hate myself!”

She grips the barred window, eyes wide. They stare each other down for a few long moments, before the ride comes to an abrupt end. The door swings open, allowing a cheery greeting from the oblivious employee.

And then Ann sighs, shoulders deflating. “Come on,” she jerks her head to the door, before stepping out herself. “Let’s go.”

“What?” he asks, puzzled. “Where?”

“If we’re going to delve into the psyche of Sakamoto Ryuji, we might as well do it with some food in front of us.”

—

The cafe Ann takes him to is bright, filled with pastries and crowded with people—stools are pastel blue, baristas are wearing cute bowties, and each cup of coffee comes with an alarming amount of whipped cream on top. Sojiro would have a heart attack if he walked three kilometers of this place, but Ryuji’s glad that the resemblance is far and away than that of Leblanc.

The booth is pressed into the corner of it all; up against the window and far enough from the main bustle that they’d have to really put their all into it if they wanted to take their order. On one side sat Futaba, nervously tracing shapes on the window while Haru sits beside her. The opposite end has Yusuke and Makoto.

They all look up when they hear the bell chime, and Ryuji almost laughs. “It’s been a long ass time since I’ve seen you guys look so serious,” he remarks, sliding next to Makoto while Ann sits next to Haru. “Where’s the food at? Come on guys, food’s good for you.”

He raises a hand. “Excuse me! We’re ready!”

“Ryuji,” Futaba’s voice is brittle. “I—”

“Hold on shorty,” he reaches to pat her head, voice coming out soft. “We’ll get to that. I promise.”

A waiter comes, takes their drink order, and leaves. When he does, Yusuke places a heavy hand on the table. “I was the one who told everyone.”

“That’s not true!” Futaba cries out, and everyone jerks back in shock. “That’s bull! I’m the one who told him to go through your stuff ‘cause he was worried about you, but I’m the one who actually—”

“No, I’m the one at fault here,” Haru casts her gaze downwards. “It was really none of my business, but I forced these two to tell everyone here. I’m so sorry—”

Ryuji sighs. “Guys, it’s fine.” He’s met with an incredulous look. “Okay, it isn’t, but none of this is your fault, you know? I’m not mad.” His gaze shifts to Ann. “But you’re allowed to be mad at me. I know I shouldn’t have hidden it.”

She gives him a weighted look. “Then why did you do it?”

“Ann,” Makoto warns.

“No, I’m not budging on this.” She leans forward. “He lied to me. Lying doesn’t get you anywhere good. That was really stupid of you.”

“Ann!” Futaba cuts in, horrified.

“You’ve seen what happened with Shiho.” Ryuji flinches back like he’s been hit. He knows. Ann knows he knows. But she keeps going anyway. “She lied to me about what was happening, and I lied to her back. It kept going and going, and—” she snaps her fingers. “She’s gone from my life. For how long? I don’t know, maybe until we graduate. Maybe until her rehab ends. Maybe longer. Who knows? All I know is if we had just—talked, or—” Ann shakes her head, frustrated. “From the start. Tell us what happened. And afterwards, let us help you, or I swear to god I’m going to cry, and I know you can’t stand it when people cry.”

The silence is deafening, even with the clamor of people and voices around them.

Ryuji lets out a breath. “Yeah, alright.”

She raises an eyebrow. “You will?”

“I will,” he repeats, idly checking his pulse. Heart rate is a little quick, but in no danger of having another breakdown. “I’ll tell you everything.”

The waiter chooses that time to drop off their drinks; all cold except Haru, nursing a hot cup of tea. They definitely didn’t buy enough to justify the god-knows-how-long they’re going to spend here, but they’re just gonna have to suck it up.

“Alright,” he starts when they’re alone again. “We going from the start?”

“The very beginning,” Ann confirms.

With one last glance at his friends, he sighs, sits up straight, and flashes them the biggest grin he can muster:

“Hi,” he greets. “I’m Sakamoto Ryuji, and I failed my second-year of high school.”

No one’s expression shifts, not even an inch. He can’t help but be a little impressed. “You guys know that I’ve never been the greatest with books. Shit, screw greatest—I’ve ranked bottom five ever since I started middle school. Didn’t help that my leg got fucked to high heaven and everyone started hating me. Nearly dropped out a couple times. Had no one, really. Worst time in my life, hands down.

“So imagine this dumb little kid, middle of April, running into this guy.” Without meaning to, the grin shifts into something more genuine. “Good-looking dude, super smart, real charmer but you wouldn’t be able to tell just by lookin’ at him. And that guy saved my life. Ten, twenty, thirty times over. He was so great that the dumb kid obviously fell in love with him. But what’s even crazier is that the guy fell in love with the dumb little kid, too.

“Crazy, right? Sounds made up, but I promise it’s true.” He catches Futaba’s expression shift to exasperation. “I know, I can’t believe it either.”

“That’s not what I meant, you sap,” she says.

“Yeah, but that dumb little kid,” he explains. “Couldn’t believe it. Literally couldn’t believe it. Thinks that he struck the lottery, struck by damn lightning. I mean—” Ryuji laughs a little. “How can someone so amazing and cool be in love with such a moron? What made it worse…”

He gestures at all of them. “Was that the guy had so many people in his life who was also amazing. His social circle was made up of, and correct me if I’m wrong: a successful journalist, a politician, some dude from the mob, a random child who breaks gaming records on the daily, and I’m not even counting people from this goddamn table. So dumb little kid knows, he fucking knows that somehow, someway, he tricked the cool guy into falling in love with him. The kid sucked, no, sucks,” he corrects. “At everything. Can’t do anything worthwhile.”

“Ryuji…” Haru whispers.

“Almost done, I know it’s running on kinda long,” he promises. “So the dumb little kid became kinda obsessed with the group’s ‘activities’, and it’s obvious why he would, right? If he knows he’s not good enough for the guy he’s in love with, then he can at least try to be. But since he already sucked at school to begin with, dummy over here completely bailed on school and ended up flunking so bad that he failed an entire year.”

An entire year. An entire year.

It’s becoming harder and harder to breathe, but he’d rather get hit by a truck than lose it in front of so many people. Gritting his teeth, he does what he knows is bad, what every google search and YouTube video says you should not do—he pushes his feelings, far and hard away from himself, so far that it’s like it doesn’t even exist.

It works surprisingly well.

“And, uh—” Ryuji clears his throat. “He hid it. Because you know the one, single thing that’s worse than realizing you’re not good enough for the other person?”

No one answers. “Waiting for the day that they realize that you’re not good enough for them.”

“And that’s pretty much the bulk of it.” Reaching for his mug, he takes a sip of his lukewarm lemonade. Damn, he really did talk for a while. “I didn’t want to tell the rest of you because one, it’s really fucking embarrassing that I failed, and two—”

“Akira can’t know,” they all say in unison.

“Exactly, you guys get the point by now.” He drums his fingers against the table, trying to ignore the blatant gloom cast on all of their faces. “Question time starts now, if anyone wants to ask anything.”

Makoto opens her mouth, but he beats her to it. “If anyone even thinks about feeling pity, or be all ‘no, you’re smart actually!’, I am walking out of this cafe and I am not looking back.”

“What about summer school?” Makoto asks immediately. “If you didn’t want us to know, then you could’ve taken that without even telling us.”

“Summer school was never an option.”

“And why not?” she slaps her hand against the table. “It would’ve solved this entire situation!”

“Because Akira was coming home for the summer,” he says simply. “And I wanted to enjoy my time with him without this hanging over my head.”

Her jaw drops open. “But...that’s…”

“Stupid?” he offers. “Idiotic? Really dumb? Potentially throwing away my entire future? Yeah, I gotcha. Another part of it was that the thought of staying at Shujin for another minute makes me want to jump into traffic, if that helps make me look a little better in your mind, miss prez.”

Makoto’s expression of confusion freezes, taken aback by the harshness of his words. Ryuji cringes at himself. “Sorry.”

“No,” she says finally. “The fault is mine. I have no right to judge your actions, or to pretend I know what kind of stress is burdening you.” Hesitating, she asks, “May I request another question?”

“Shoot.”

“What were you going to do when we eventually go back to Tokyo?”

As expected of someone who went head-to-head against the ace detective in front of the entire school; her questions are brutal. “I don’t know, honestly. I was planning on ignoring the problem for now and just sort of,” he gestures vaguely. “Enjoy the summertime sun?”

“A moment,” Haru goes through her bag. “It’s a long story, but I have these—”

The second the books peek out of her tote, he recognizes the cover immediately. “Cram books? You bought some?”

“Yes!” she answers, mistaking his reaction for eagerness. “It’s a very small gesture, but I’d love for you to have them.”

“I—” he leans away from them, breath catching in his throat. “No.”

“No?” she blinks.

“Not now, senpai.” Trying out his new trick again, he forces his heart to slow down, forces his breathing to regulate again without any of the techniques, and forces himself not to feel any of the fear that he’d normally have to go through. It works, but barely. “I’m not—I don’t think I’m ready to deal with that yet.”

“That’s fine.” Haru puts them away, and as hard as he tries, he can still see how dejected she was. “I’ll hold on to them for you.”

“Thank you.” He glances around. “Any last takers? Q&A is almost up.”

“I have one,” Yusuke pipes up.

“Go for it.”

“How are you?” he asks genuinely.

Ryuji can’t help it—a laugh gets pulled out of him. “How am I?” he repeats.

“Yes. How are you?”

“Uh,” he laughs again. “Not good, man. Not good.”

Everyone startles when Ryuji stands abruptly. He slams down the rest of his lemonade, relieved at how it helps his parched throat. “Alrighty, that took a lot out of me! Let’s get out of here, I’m sick of being surrounded by fake coffee and poser cafe fanatics.”

“I’ll take care of the bill,” Haru says, following his lead and scooting out from the booth.

“What? No, come on. I don’t care how rich you are, at least let me pay half.”

“Ryuji.” She looks him dead in the eye. “I’ll take care of the bill.”

“...Yes ma’am.”

Slowly, they all start filing out, some exiting the cafe while Makoto goes to the till with Haru. Ryuji reaches for Ann’s elbow before she can leave. “Hey.”

Turning her head, it’s as if her lips were permanently stitched downwards. “Yeah?”

“I’m really sorry I lied to you,” he says, somber. “That was shitty, and it doesn’t matter what I’m going through—you can’t deal with lies. I get that. I won’t put you through that again.”

Ann kisses her palm before slapping it against his forehead. “You better not,” her voice drips in affection. “You said not to console you—”

“I did, and I meant it.”

“But I’m here for you,” she rubs his skin harder, and he winces at the chafing. “You know that, right? No matter how crazy the shit inside your head gets, I want you to talk to me.”

“I know it,” he says, not just because he wants the friction to ease up. “I know it now, for sure.”

“Good.” Ann releases him, and goes to join Haru and Makoto up front. “You might want to head out. Someone’s starting to make a fuss.”

“What?” he turns around, making direct eye contact with Futaba, nursing a blank expression on her face. “I see.”

The bell chimes once more when he steps out, relieved at the cool summer air that hits him. “Shorty,” he says in lieu of a greeting. “What’s good?”

“Here.” Ryuji glances down at her, who’s holding a familiar, now very-crumpled envelope between her fingers. It’s weird seeing her hold the letter announcing his failure like a bomb, but he understands the sentiment. “I had to show Ann because she wouldn’t believe me until I got some proof.”

“Thank you,” he says, shoving it in his pocket. “I’m not mad at you, you know.”

“I know you’re not.” She swallows and stares down at her shoes. Her laces were covered in little beads and stars, something he had bought for her during a weekend hangout once. “This isn’t me pitying you, or showering you with some kind of boohoo potion.”

She swallows again. “I failed my first year of high school. It was for a completely different reason—guilt for who I thought I killed rather than wanting to be something else. But I know. I know so much about what you’re going through.”

Futaba looks up, and his heart wrenches when he sees the tears in her eyes. “I’m so, so sorry if I made you sad, or that I kept calling you stupid back then,” she sobs. “I don’t mean it, and I’m so mean to you all of the time but I don’t mean any of it. I told everyone your secret because I wanted to—” she hiccups, and she pushes her glasses to the top of her head. “I wanted to give you your own version of what the Phantom Thieves did for me, but I reached out to you guys back then. No one forced me to do anything, but I took that choice away from you.”

He pulls her in his arms, and her tears are hot even through his shirt. “I know, Futaba,” he says, patting her head. “Thank you for taking care of me.”

She hits his chest weakly. “Me taking care of you?” she sniffs. “I’m literally the one crying right now.”

“Just for now though,” he shrugs. “Next time I cry, you’ll be the one handing me tissues, I swear.”

They stand there, the two of them standing in the middle of Sapporo while people give them weird looks—Futaba, unable to stop the tears from flowing down her cheeks, and Ryuji, refusing to ever let his emotions make things worse for everyone else again.

—

When they get back to the RV, each of them emotionally exhausted, Ryuji goes to kiss the top of Akira’s head. “Hi.”

“Hey,” Akira looks up from his card game with Morgana and Sophia. “You look like you had a wild night. Ann take you all somewhere fun?”

“Totally,” he says, sliding the letter back in his backpack. “Best night ever.”

“Take me next time. Sophia’s kicking our ass.”

“She is not!” Morgana denies, tail swishing. “Just a little,” he relents.

“I’m gonna get ready for bed,” Ryuji announces, hiking his backpack on his shoulders and heading out, before running into Ann outside.

“Oh my god,” she says, disturbed. “He really, really doesn’t know.”

“Yup,” he moves past her. “And we’re keeping it that way.”

#p5 #p5s #mine #fic tag #plainly in truth #ryuji sakamoto #akira kurusu #akiryu #pegoryu #ann takamaki #futaba sakura #persona 5 #persona 5 strikers #chapter three! *thumbs up*

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davidmann95 · 3 years

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How about those JL storyboards?

In case you haven’t heard, Zack Snyder is putting on display the ‘storyboards’ - i.e. a rough plot summary accompanied by some Jim Lee sketches - for what would have been Justice League 2 and 3, or as this puts it 2 and ‘2A’. You can see them here (I imagine better-quality versions will soon be released), and read a transcript here. This is evidently a very early version: this was apparently pitched prior to the release of BvS and Justice League being rewritten in the wake of it, with numerous plot details that now don’t line up with what we know about the Snyder Cut, plus it outright mentions it builds on the originally planned versions of the Batman and Flash movies. But it’s a broad outline of what was gonna go down, and while I initially thought it was Snyder throwing in the towel, the timing - paired with the ambiguity left by the necessity for changes, including that this doesn’t factor whatever that “massive cliffhanger” at the end of the Cut is - says to me he’s hoping this’ll be a force multiplier behind efforts to will sequel/s into existence. He’s probably right.

I’ll be discussing spoilers below, but in short: with this Zack Snyder has finally lived up to Alan Moore, in that like Twilight of the Superheroes I wouldn’t believe this was real as opposed to a shockingly on-point parody if not for direct, irrefutable evidence.

Doing some rapid-fire bullet points for this baby to kick us off:

* Folks who know the subject say a lot of this is a yet further continuation of Snyder doing Arthuriana fanfic with the League reskinned over those major players, and I’ll take their word for it.

* I don’t know whether I love or hate that in Justice League 2 the Justice League are only an extant thing for the first scene, and then it’s Snyder giving everybody their own mini-movies. It’s compressing the entire MCU “loosely interconnected solo stories leading to a single big movie later” strategy into a single movie!

* Funniest line in the whole thing: "Even Lantern has heard of the Kryptonian, worried that he's under the control of Darkseid. He heard his spirit was unbreakable." Hal what fuckin' Superman movie did YOU watch? Second funniest being “IT WILL GIVE HIM POWER OVER ALL LIVING LIFE”

* 90% of the plot I have nothing to say about, it’s generic stage-setting crap. That to be clear is the ‘shocked it’s Snyder’ element, it feels so crassly commercial in a way I can’t believe is coming from the BvS guy.

* Most of what I have to say is unsurprisingly gonna be about a handful of characters but Cyborg’s happy ending being “he isn’t visibly disabled anymore!” is not great!

* The Goddess of War battle with Superman...never pays off? No clue why it’s there.

* What I’d originally heard was that the Codex in Superman’s blood was the last key to the Anti-Life Equation and that’s why Darkseid was coming to Earth. It’s not like all of this wouldn’t have already been averted by Kal-El’s pod smacking into an asteroid on the way to Earth so it’s not as if this makes it any more Superman’s fault, and it would have at least tied all this back to the beginning of the movies, but I suppose that was either fake or from a later draft.

* I have NO idea how this was reimagined without the ‘love triangle’, it’s the central character thing and the entire climax flows directly out of it!

* Darkseid’s kinda a chump in this, huh

Anonymous said: So: Does Zack Snyder hate Superman?

Look: the hilarity of this when Cuck Kent has been a go-to Snyder cult insult towards ‘inferior’ takes on Superman for years cannot be understated, yet at the same time I can almost wrap my brain around where Snyder’s coming from with that as the end for his take on the character. He talked in that Variety piece on how his interest in Superman is informed by having adopted children himself, and Deborah Snyder is the stepmother to his kids by previous relationships, so I can see where he’d be coming from, and I can even imagine how he’d see this as ‘rhyming’ in the sense of “the series begins with Kal-El being adopted by Earth, it ends with him adopting a child of Earth!” In the same way as MARTHA, I can envision how he would put these pieces together in his head thematically without registering or caring what the end result would actually look like. In this case, Superman raising the kid of the man who beat the shit out of him who Batman had with Clark’s wife, who earlier told Bruce she was staying with Clark because he ‘needed her’, suggesting if inadvertently that this really honest to god was a “she’s only staying with Superman out of pity, she really loved Batman more” thing.

But Clark is nothing in this. He’s sad and existential because of coming back from the dead I guess, then he’s corrupted, then time’s undone and he woo-rah rallies the collective armies of the world (interesting angle for the ‘anti-military/anti-establishment’ Superman he’s talked up as) as his big heroic moment in the finale, and then he stops being sad because he’s adopting a kid. So his big much-ballyhooed, extremely necessary five-movie character arc towards truly becoming Superman was:

Sad weird kid -> sad weird kid learns he’s an alien, is still weird and sad, maybe he shouldn’t save people because things could go really wrong? -> his dad is so convinced it could go wrong he lets himself die -> ????? -> Clark is saving people anyway -> learns his origin, gets an inspiring speech about being a bridge between worlds and a costume -> becomes superman (not Superman, that’s later) to save the world, albeit a very property-damagey version, rejects his heritage he just learned about and space dad’s bridge idea -> folks hate him being superman and that sucks though at least he’s got a girlfriend now -> things go so wrong he considers not being superman but his ghost dad reminds him shit always goes wrong so he should be good anyway, which sorta feels like it contradicts his previous advice -> immediate renewed goodness is out the window as he’s blackmailed into having to try and kill a dude but the dude happens to coincidentally have some things in common so they don’t kill each other after all -> big monster now but superman keeps supermaning at it because he loves his girlfriend and he dies -> he’s brought back, wears black which apparently means now he likes Krypton again? -> he has work friends now but he’s still sad because he was dead -> evil now! -> wait nevermind time travel -> rallies the troops -> his wife’s having a kid so he’s not sad anymore -> Superman! Who gives way to more Batman.

Do I think Zack Snyder is lying when he says he likes Superman? No. I think he sincerely finds much of the basic conceits and imagery engaging. But I don’t think he meaningfully gives shit about Clark as a character, just a vessel for Big Iconic Beats he wants to hit. Whereas while for instance he’s critical of Batman as an idea (at least up to a point), he’s much more passionately, directly enamored with him as a presence and personality. So while Superman may be the character whose ostensible myth cycle or arc or however it’s spun might be propelling a lot of events here, it’s a distant appreciation - of course the other guy takes over and subsumes him into his own narrative. Of course Batman is the savior, the past and the future (though if he’s supposed to be Batman’s kid raised by Superman there’s no excuse for him not to be Nightwing), the tragic martyr to our potential. Admittedly the implication here is also that Batman can apparently only REALLY with his whole heart be willing to sacrifice his life to save an innocent, for that matter apparently his great love, once said innocent is a receptacle for his Bat-brood, but he and Clark are both already irredeemable pieces of shit by the end of BvS so it’s not like this even registers by comparison.

Anonymous said: That “plan” Snyder had was utter dogshit. Picture proof that DC & WB hate Superman. Also I love how you’re like Jor-El: Every single idealistic take you had about Snyder, his fandom, and BvS was wrong. Snyder’s an edgy hack, his fanbase just wants to jerk off to their edgy self-insert Batgod as he screams FUCK while mowing people down with machine guns, and the idea that BvS said Superman was better than Bats was completely wrong. You know what comes next SuperMann: Either you die or I do.

In the final analysis, beyond that mother of god is there sure no conceivable excuse for the treatment of Lois in this? The temptation is to join that anon and say as I originally tweeted that these were “built entirely to disabuse every single redemptive reading of the previous work and any notion of these movies as nuanced, artistic, self-reflective, or meaningful”.

...

...yeah, okay, that’s mostly right. Zack Snyder’s vision really was the vision of an edgelord idiot with bad ideas who was never going to build up to anything that would reframe it all as a sensible whole. He’s a sincere edgelord genuinely trying really hard with his bad ideas who put some of them together quite cleverly! But they’re fucking bad and the endgame was never anything more than ramping up into smashing the action figures together as big as he could, the political overtones and moral sketchiness of BvS while trying to say something in that movie reverberated through the grand scheme of his pentalogy in no way beyond giving his boys a big sad pit to rise out of so when they kicked ass later it’d rule harder, and all the gods among men questions and horror and trappings were only that: trappings. Apparently he’s really pleasant and well-meaning in person, but at his core his art as embodied in a couple weeks in his 4-hour R-rated Justice League movie meant to be seen in black-and-white all comes down to that time he yelled at someone on Twitter that he couldn’t appreciate Snyder’s work because it’s for grown-ups. He made half-clever, occasionally exciting shit cape movies for a bunch of corny pseudo-intellectual douchebags, folks latching onto and justifying blockbusters that at least acknowledge how horrifying the world is right now even if the superheroes are basically useless in the face of it if not outright part of the problem until a convenient alien invasion shows up to justify them, and a handful of non-asshole smart people who vibe with it but...well. ‘Suckered’ is a harsh word, and definitely doesn’t apply to all of them re: what they’ve gotten out of it up to this point and would (somehow) get out of this. But it doesn’t apply to none of them, either.

#Justice League #Zack Snyder #Superman #Batman #DCEU #Opinion

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annethepancake · 3 years

Text

Sherlock rant

I recently rewatched BBC Sherlock for Rupert Graves, and aside from the lack of Lestrade appreciation I have a lot of problems with this series. Here are my thoughts:

1. It was all a blur

My second first impression of the show: I don't remember anything but the characters. And some characters I just blatantly forgot, like Mary. And I loved Mary on my second watch! I really forgot that at one point John actually got married and I don't even remember when I watched the show for the first time. I can still recall most of HIMYM's events and I hated that series.

2. It’s overall not a detective/crime show

Watching Sherlock for the second time, I mostly turned off my brain and just let it play in the background because (1) there's hardly anything for me to solve with the characters, most clues are taken by Sherlock off-screen anyway (especially after season 2), (2) they focus way too much on the quirks of the characters that make it almost like a sitcom that got dragged on for way too long. A crime/detective show shouldn't allow me to turn off my brain.

3. The characters just kinda fall flat

Exploring the depth of human emotions is not a bad approach to a modernized version of anything, I’m not trying to pretend I’m better than someone who gets sentimental over fictional character (if you know my blog at all, you know I am not), but at least write good characters. Sherlock is hardly a multi-faceted person; in fact, he’s kinda like the Wattpad teen fic main character sometimes. He physically fights off some terrorists with a machete to save the damsel in distress? He gets high off his tits but still got everything right all the time? John is just kinda there for most of the cases. Jim is a poorly written antagonist. Irene is a lesbian but gets the hot for our main character, surprise surprise. The only interesting characters to me are the ones who act like normal people: Molly, Greg and Mary. They are the multi-faceted characters, ones who I can actually relate to without feeling inferior to them in any way. Write characters like them, stop trying to be smart about it and stop writing Wattpad fanfictions for Sir Conan Doyle’s original works.

I get that they try to make Sherlock more like a human with emotions, making him quirky and arrogant, then make him quirky and more likable. It’s hardly a convincing character development though. He’s given over-powered deduction skills, so edgy, so high and mighty all the time. When he is finally written as vulnerable, turns out he has plans for that too. I would love to see him get it wrong once and maybe get humbled by that mistake, but getting Mary shot and killed is hardly even his fault, he is only doing his job. And killing off Mary is overall a bad idea anyway.

4. They treated the fandom like shit

I was absolutely disgusted at the start of season 3 when the showrunners just straight up shat on their fans. I wasn't there with the fandom during the wait between season 2 and 3, but I believe it was a pretty long wait (2 years, I could barely wait 2 years for my comfort series, and they have like 10 episodes per season), and they were presented with the first actual mystery of the series: How did Sherlock survive the fall? After years of waiting and having fun theorizing, they were met with a mockumentary about them, starring the most hated character of the protagonist and the fans. Those are the people who actually cared about the show for god's sake. The fact that the showrunners treated fans like crap and there's still an active fandom for the show appalled me.

Now not only The Empty Hearse bugs me, but the entire show does as well.

Allow me to digress.

Doki Doki Literature Club is a great example of audience engagement done right (Sorry for using this example I’m not actually that invested in the other franchises). After the success of the first game, the story provoked so many fans into solving the mysteries of the characters, some of them went really, really far. And that’s because of the actual mysteries that the development team took effort to plant into the plot. There is actual pay-off for painstakingly following the clues; as far as I know, only two (2!) people in the world have come close to solving the mystery of the first game (or they actually did). The game developers value their fans and their intelligence enough to have planted those clues where they did, and it’s a genuine exchange between the fans and the creators. Now even though you haven’t actually played the game, when you hear of the name and you’re only kinda familiar with gaming (like me), you’ll probably know what it is. What started as a mere open-source game by an indie developer became a sensation which left millions of fans begging for more.

Looking back at Sherlock, there are tons of logical flaws for a self-proclaimed crime series, virtually no clues for the audience to solve crimes along with their favorite detective, and when there was actually a mystery (Sherlock jumped off the building), they plainly showed him alive and well minutes later. Do we really need to see things spelled on screen to know what’s going on? Are we supposed to accept that Sherlock Holmes is an all-knowing future-predicting genius now too? Not a great sign of respecting the audience there.

So far, the only thing left that’s interesting about this series is the characters’ dynamic. Which brings me to the next criticism I have for the show.

5. The plague that infested mainstream media

Why is there still an active fandom? Queerbaiting and targeted marketing.

Community marketing is proven to be one of the best marketing methods there is, if not the best, to lengthen the lifespan of a product or service. The way they do that for shows and films and video games is usually by planting seeds of possible lores and history inside the content. Look at Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings, they are franchises that ran for multiple years with a ton of history and world building that provokes fans’ imagination.

Sherlock - well, Sherlock has sexually ambiguous men.

Sherlock has a formula for success. It was an adaptation of the most iconic detective novel in the world, funded by one of the biggest TV networks in the UK and possibly the world (don’t quote me on this). Making this series means you can appeal to such a wide group of audience even before airing. Adding in the quirky smart men who live together, you’ve basically guaranteed a prime-time show with millions of loyal fans all over the world.

Fans are not stupid, and queer people don't just find queerness everywhere they go. They know a gay subtext when they see one. Sherlock came back from the literal death for John, pretty gay if you ask me.

This show is very much not just about some guys being dudes solving crimes, they have relationship that’s deeper than friendship, and definitely not platonic. They deliberately wrote a sexually ambiguous Sherlock Holmes from the get-go - literally from the very first episode, then capitalized off of the targeted demographic, never a pay-off for their anticipation. Martin Freeman said in interviews that he could recognize Sherlock fans, them being generally women from 16 - 25. No shit Sherlock, this show targets them and capitalizes off of them, being quirky and gay as hell, of course the fanbase is generally 16 - 25 and female.

Sherlock queerbaited the fandom for years for the sake of marketing and there’s never a pay-off, nor was there any recognition to the community, and to add to all that bigotry, queercoding pretty much all of the villains? Why was a show aired in the 2010′s allowed to do this? Why did Mark Gatiss, an openly gay man, a writer of the show, allow this to happen? Why are millions of fans all over the world allowing all this to go on?!

6. Conclusion

Now I haven’t read the books yet, so I’m not at all qualified to criticize the adaptation quality of the TV series; I’m just talking about the TV series on its own. Despite my criticism, I think the first two seasons did quite okay. There are quite a few nice cases there, I like The Blind Banker and The Hound of Baskerville. They did those well because the focus was on the cases themselves, and the connection between John and Sherlock was only in the background. I, like many other fans, like to figure things out on my own, to read between the lines, and to not have things spelled out for me. With the next seasons bombarded with Sherlock and John bonding it seriously felt like mere fan service for me and even though I wasn’t there when the show was on, I still felt like I was robbed and my interest in the show was abused.

Sherlock is undoubtedly super influential in pop culture even now. It has to have done something right to be in that spot (capitalizing off loyal fans?). I’m not writing this rant to change someone’s mind about the series, by all means, I’m still gonna love the hell out of Gavin Lestrade, and absolutely lose my mind over Mary Watson. So do take my words with a grain of salt, I’m just disappointed that one of the most influential shows there is is just short of my expectations.

#sherlock #bbc sherlock #rant #criticism

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archived-zombbean · 3 years

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How I Got Into Batman

So I got into Batman on accident. See my wife (then girlfriend) @she-a-nice had been BEGGING me to watch the show, play the game, etc. and I refused for the longest time (my loss I know right?).

Anyhow, we’re in game stop and she pulls out the “Batman Arkham Asylum” game, and she’s like, “Look! It’s on sale for $XX! If worse comes to worse it’s not like you’ll be wasting money! Just give it a try and if you don’t like it I’ll stop bothering you about it!”

So I caved. I bought the game, let out the most annoyed sigh (I was easily upset before I started my Bipolar meds, I regret how immature I used to be) and we went home. I pop the game in, let it download, and drank some tea while I waited. After it finished downloading, my adventure began.

Opening up to the Asylum, right away I’ll be honest- I hated batman. The only version I ever knew of him was BTAS and this version didn’t sit right with me. He was so mean and cruel that it just made me really upset. The joker reminded me of the one I did know a little bit about, so that wasn’t so bad (learned later it was the same actor so whoot!)

Saw sexy Harley Quinn, but hated her outfit so much. GOD I HATED THAT OUTFIT. WHAT WAS THE POINT? SHE DIDN’T LOOK LIKE A HARLEQUIN AT ALL???

Again, I went into this game with a sour attitude and I tried to hide it. My wife is sitting on the edge of her seat watching me play cause she was so excited to see the game. She had stars in her eyes. She didn’t play video games. She was afraid too and would much rather watch me play them instead. So I bit my lip and kept playing. Seeing her happy and enjoying the game meant more to me than all the things that was annoying me about the game. Admittedly... the combat was pretty good for it’s time, and after playing the absolute disaster combat of Assassin’s Creed 1, it was a nice change of pace.

I do remember being quite fond of Killer Croc’s design, and hoping I would see him again. I’ll get into that bit, a little later.

So I’m playing the game, and I get to the part where you just get to/ past the medical facility? It’s been a long time since I played so I can’t remember exactly where... but... that’s when my opinion of the game started to change. I’m in an elevator and I come out to see people going fucking batshit crazy in a sealed off room, and this gremlin of a bastard scurry in the background. I have no idea that this guy is about to become my favorite character.

My wife, knowing my favorite character archetype, just fucking grins as wide as she can. I love horror. Anything horror related, video games, movies, etc... it’s always been my favorite!

Mind you, I have no idea whom this character is or what he does, but the music turns unsettling and I can feel my pulse quicken. It has all the atmosphere of a horror game. Batman’s eyes are glowing red, and the beat of the music is still heavy in my ears. The voices are starting to echo, and there’s a buncha really silent hill like bullshit happening.

I go through the morgue scene and I’m just fucking... floored? When the fuck did this game decide to be a horror game??? Like?? I started to LOVE it.

My wife is now in a fit of giggles, and I’m like, “Why are you laughing you hate horror?”

She just grins, “Oh... you’ll see! I just know you’re gonna love it!”

Okay... sure. So I keep going.

Cue Batman unzipping the bag and this guy with a bag on his head that reminds me of el salvadore from fucking resident evil 4 pops up, and he’s just cackling like a motherfucking maniac. His voice is AMAZING. The ambiance is frightening. He’s got fucking NEEDLES on his hands (Trypanophobia? Yeah I know her. That’s my fear.)

“Who is this dude?” I ask my wife.

As the sequence ends for the nightmare world I see the words pop up on my screen:

Character Bio Unlocked- Scarecrow

“Who the fuck is scarecrow?” I’m lost. That was literally my favorite sequence so far.

My wife looks like the cat that caught the fucking canary, “That’s Jonathan Crane~ He’s the scarecrow and he’s the master of fear!”

Okay. So she’s fucking right. I fucking love this character. I keep playing. Dude’s gotta show up again right? I never actually kicked his ass...

So I keep playing the game and I see a few other small things that start to pique my interest. It’s not longer a chore trying to play the game. I’m genuinely interested. I’m waiting for this asshole with a paper bag on his head to pop up again.

Que me getting to the next portion of the game where this SOAB shows up. I’m literally grinning from ear to ear. Is the scene beforehand sad? Yeah a little. But I’ve heard the same damn sob story for batman by fans so much that honestly... I... kinda don’t care? It’s hard to feel bad when every movie with batman includes his parents dying.

I get through that portion and I eventually wind up at the third portion. I swear to fucking god I was SO SCARED when I thought my game restarted and I lost all my progress. Turns out it was another fucking game sequence. Touche Mr. Scarecrow, touche.... Long story short I got through that sequence and I’m floored by how good the game actually is. God my wife is so happy. It makes the experience all the better.

Did I mention she’s a hard core Riddler fan? Did I also forget to mention she’s the one that found all the- and I quote, “Shineys (Riddler Trophies)” and solved all his riddles? Cause I sure as fuck didn’t know the answers. Dude got super pissed every time she found something, and it was HILARIOUS.

I got to Croc’s section of the game, and I’ll admit I was a bit off put and sad to see him take Crane into the water and out of view. Knowing he’s a cannibal, I thought for sure that would be the last I ever saw of my fave (Imagine how excited I was for Arkham Knight, and how disappointed I was in the end? LE SIGH.) To be fair tho, Croc’s portion of the game had me sitting on the edge of my seat a lot since it was dead silent, and followed up with an orchestra of music when he popped up.

By the end of the whole game I was relatively happy. The story was pretty shitty, won’t lie, but the characters were enjoyable, the play style was fun, and I got to learn a lot about some characters! I even surprised my wife by saying I wanted to buy the next game in the series!

Lucky for me? That game had just come out a week prior. So of course I bought that bitch and binge played it for my sweet, and wonderful wife. Of course I also fell in love with another character- Mr. Freeze, and of course I still thank her for getting me into the series.

Sometimes she’ll tease me and talk about how I was so reluctant to try something new that she’d known I would enjoy, and ever since I’ve made sure to give series she’s suggested a chance!

#how i got into batman #scarecrow #jonathan crane #long post #my wife #fandom

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elffees · 3 years

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some little additions to the ep 5 endings for low brotherhood

oh this post is going to hurt but i’m doing it anyway. these are just some brainstorms on tweaks to the endings bc for the most part, they all come off as high brotherhood, which is fine for me tbh bc i have never played a LB route cause im Soft™️. but i’m also Curious™️ and thought up some variations that couldve been made for people that did have a LB playthrough

these are mostly tiny changes. nothing too major bc like in canon, i think morality having the highest affect on Cross vs. Surrender is fine, but it would’ve been kinda cool if the epilogues had been tweaked a little to reflect brotherhood also. so possible tweaks i thought of is basically what this post is about.

here’s some:

redemption

(sidenote: okay i said the changes were mostly little and i promise they are. this ending specifically tho just has the most significant ones i’ve made by adding in like 2 extra scenes. but that’s really it)

in this ending things are the same when they reach the road block, including daniel tearing up, until sean says “you’re my brother”. they do not exchange i love yous nor hug or touch foreheads. sean goes straight to “and i know it’s gonna be alright” while keeping an outstretched arm on daniel’s shoulder. daniel also goes straight to his “how do you know”. the car scene plays out the same from then on except without hugging. they mostly stay separately in each other’s seats.

daniel doesn’t panic and jump to his feet when the police start walking sean to the car. he stands up resigned and watches sadly but quietly. sean doesnt say anything as he gets in the car but does look back at daniel before they pull off

in the collage, there is still a picture of daniel visiting sean in prison, but they don’t hug and just speak tensely across from one another.

daniel doesn’t come on the day of sean’s release, karen is the only default. now, like lyla, daniel is a determinant. (imagine if they were all determinant and even karen didn’t come meaning sean could get out of jail with nobody in the world caring about him jesus christ) there’s a scene with sean afterwards visiting daniel’s apartment. when daniel opens the door, he’s shocked and slams a palm to his forehead, clearly having forgot sean’s release date.

there’s small polite smiles on their faces as they greet each other at the door, but sean never makes it past the front steps. their conversation is brief before daniel gestures that he actually was walking out and has to go. they say their goodbyes with a casual hug (quick back slap) before daniel hops in his car using his power and pulls off with sean watching.

sean still goes back to their first campsite but alone. it mostly plays out the same where he still cries, but with no comfort, and then drives away towards the right after taking one last look at the trail

the epilogue ends with daniel stepping out of his car and approaching faraway friends that he waves to. they’re drawn vague and out of focus to save on production costs (don’t worry dontnod i gotchu). the angle of the scene shifts so it looks like daniel is walking off towards the left

summary (1/2) -> sean took the heat in order to let daniel have a childhood in america. and he succeeds in this, but because their relationship was poor, during his incarceration their bond practically turns to dust. daniel gets a childhood, but sean loses his own and his brother in return

summary (2/2) -> sean still wants some kind of relationship with his brother, but its awkward and distant. daniel does not hate sean. he holds some semblance of polite respect for him bc in his HM!eyes sean “did the right thing” at the end of their journey. but overall, they are not that close and are more like acquaintances who just worked on a group project one time.

blood brothers

sean doesn’t say “be careful” before daniel gets out the car. just “you know what to do”

they don’t hold hands after daniel’s massacre. daniel just stares out the window while sean focuses ahead

(after the 6 years) when sean backs into the garage and daniel sees he’s being held at gunpoint, daniel doesn’t do anything at first. he doesn’t even move forward to get a better look. he simply watches the scene play out until the gang members notice he’s there, bc sean keeps glancing his way, and they begin to threaten him too. that is when he uses his powers.

sean giving daniel a pat on the shoulder? yeah in this LB version it’s now a shove. he noticed that daniel did not have his back. daniel just shrugs.

he still heads out to their patio and takes a seat. the scene is angled so that the player sees sean over daniel’s shoulder think about joining him, wanting to go smoke, with their dad’s lighter already out so we still see it. but he instead waves his hand dismissively and turns back into the shop.

daniel stares out towards the beach alone.

summary -> they gain freedom and escape to mexico, but their relationship is empty. there’s no polite respect, but there’s no outright animosity either. it’s just….. empty.

lone wolf

daniel doesn’t say the “it’s my turn to take care of us” line (omg it was so good tho). it’s now smthg along the lines of “i won’t let you stop me here after all this”

when saying the “we made it” set of lines, he’s still happy but also boastful, ready to hold it over sean that he was right

he doesn’t cry. instead of sobbing over the death of his brother, he is more shocked bc of how unexpected it is. he still calls out for sean’s name frantically, but does not get distraught afterwards. instead of leaning onto sean’s arm like he does in canon, after it sinks in that sean’s dead, he only grimaces while sitting uncertainly in his seat

the pictures stay the same

when sitting on the beach and looking over the ocean, he is not drawing in sean’s journal. he still has a small smile on his face but we also see him taking swigs of the beer can(?) here instead of later

also instead of a teardrop tattoo, he has a tattoo of 3 dots. the teardrop has several meanings, including death of a loved one or crime affiliation. but bc a lot of players interpreted it as being a tear for sean, then i think it’s preferable to just not have it in the LB version at all to avoid confusion and just have him with the 3 dots to make it clear it’s solely part of the gang/crime lifestyle

(moving on) daniel heads over to sean’s memorial and it is absolutely not as decorated as it is in canon. there is only 1 candle and no plants. the brick is still there but instead of a cross, it’s just a hastily laid single wooden plank with sean’s name scribbled down it. there’s no eye patch. the only thing of sentimental value there is their dad’s lighter.

daniel doesn’t sit, he stands looking at the memorial while drinking his beer. he realizes it’s empty tho and lazily litters the can beside sean’s memorial before turning to walk off and as he does he sees the gang.

most of their interaction plays out the same, but while daniel’s walking away instead of sparing the group, it’s clear he kills them as they are all unmoving, us seeing the dude with the gun flop to the ground over daniel’s shoulder. this change is bc personally i interpreted daniel sparing them as a sortve homage to sean’s high morality in this route. as in he’ll still do what needs to be done to survive, but will try to kill as little as possible out of respect for sean’s beliefs. so being as though daniel does not value sean as much in this LB version, he doesn’t care about that and kills them without thought.

summary -> for the most part, daniel still has the relatively content life he does in canon except, going by the now bare minimum memorial and littering, he doesn’t value sean’s memory nearly as much as he does in HB. sean’s death was ofc still a shock and smthg he still remembers, but it didn’t crush him like it does HB!daniel, and he honestly feels more annoyance than regret. in his LM!eyes, hes disappointed and thinks its a little stupid that sean wanted to switch gears at the border like that. he doesn’t hate him tho, he just sees sean as a disappointing memory.

parting ways

at the border daniel still cries, but instead of saying sorry to sean he says “i can’t do this sean. i have to go”, making it extra clear he’s not crying bc it’s the end, he’s crying bc of the damage he does not want to do.

he still says the “i hope you’ll be happy” line, but instead of being genuine it’s now full of disappointment with a twinge of bitterness

you know that quick angry facial expression he has before he’s walked off by the cops? WELL HOWDY IT DEFINITELY STAYS

the picture collage still shows him having a relatively happy upbringing with stephen, claire, and chris

when he’s on the phone at the reynolds’ and claire comes up to him, he’s still smiling and content. when he gets the letter with no sender name, his smile drops after taking the pic out and realizing who it’s from. the player doesn’t see yet tho. emphasis on 1 pic bc it’s not several like it is in canon/HB.

daniel rolls his eyes and with his power tosses the envelope & photo card (no sand btw) across the room so they land on a distant table. the camera zooms in on them and we finally see it’s of sean in mexico.

when claire comes back into the room, she halts seeing the mail and picks them up, glancing between them and daniel regretfully before sitting down

we go back to daniel and with arms crossed, he glances out at the tree in the yard for a brief moment before walking away

the scene stays focused on the tree and we still zoom out to the Wolf Brothers carving, except it has a not-recent slash cut through it

summary -> daniel gets a childhood in america and sean gets his freedom in mexico, but their relationship is destroyed. daniel doesn’t approve of sean’s final decision at all and holds little to no respect for him. sean sends the post card bc, like in redemption, he still wishes to hold some kind of relationship, but he doesnt try all that hard and doesn’t miss daniel that much to send several pics and a chunk of sand.

and so these were some of my ideas for low brotherhood endings! i tried to put them in order from most positive (minute respect) to most negative (outright disdain). i’d love to hear thoughts on this or if anyone wants to add to these, then that’s fine to! just don’t break my heart pls

#lexi plays lis2 #life is strange 2 #surprisingly my variations to the LW ending hurt the least #still messed up but my redemption & blood brothers tweaks just feel cold #and the parting ways one…. :(#lis2 #lis 2

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