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inkedroplets · 7 months

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Supercorptober 2023 Day 4: Money

Read here on AO3

"Isn't that romantic?"

"What is?" Kara asked, so focused on her article that she didn’t look up from her computer until Nia gave her a little nudge on her shoulder.

"That," Nia said, dropping her voice to a conspiratorial whisper. She pointed surreptitiously to the man who had just stepped out of the elevator holding a modest bouquet of both white and red roses. He walked with purpose towards the desk cluster reserved for CatCo's revolving door of interns, his sights trained on the brunette whom Kara had seen earlier in the day being taught the ins and outs of the copier with a look of deep concentration on her face.

He did his best to hide the flowers behind his back before he approached for all the good that it did him because it seemed that she had caught a glimpse of him out of the corner of her eye before he could surprise her.

She goggled at him, clearly not expecting the visit but when he produced the flowers from behind his back a little shyly, she beamed at him and leaped out of her chair with enough force to nearly bowl him over.

“That is sweet,” Kara said. She smiled, feeling happy for them even though she didn’t know them. “And who knows," Kara said and glanced towards Andrea's office. "If she snags the junior reporter job he might be delivering flowers to her very own office someday."

Maybe,” Nia said, but Kara could tell from her voice that she believed such an outcome was a long shot. A fair assessment considering how picky Andrea could be. And with only one open junior reporter position up for grabs it meant that competition would be nothing short of intense. “He’d probably want to spring for a bigger bouquet for just such an occasion. Nia smiled and snuck one more look at the happy couple before she glanced back towards Andrea’s office. “I should get back to work before Andrea comes out and makes an example out of me in front of the interns.” She rapped her knuckles on the side of Kara’s desk and set off back to her own

“He could always fill her office with flowers,” Kara suggested before Nia got too far away that she had to raise her voice. She did so almost absentmindedly, her focus had already shifted back to her article.

"Now that would be romantic,” Nia said as she kept walking. “But I don’t want to even think about how expensive that would be,” she called over her shoulder.

Would it be romantic? The answer seemed obvious but still, Kara found herself pondering the question intently while she tried to return to work. As if she didn't like the very obvious answer staring her in the face. Of course, it would be romantic.

So my office is overflowing with flowers…

That much was obvious. If a single bouquet was romantic, surely several dozen more than even that would be considered romantic. Looking at it in such an overly logical (and paradoxically illogical) way, Kara couldn't help but think of Brainy, believing he might try and break down the problem in a similar fashion.

But as distracting as the question was, it was Nia’s last comment that Kara found herself dwelling on long after she had left work. How expensive was it to fill an office with flowers? It sounded like the kind of esoteric problem you might see crop up on a particularly finicky math test. Because it wasn’t just the sheer quantity of flowers that would factor in, as well. There was also the unusualness of the request to consider. Not many flower shops would even be able to fulfill such a request, no matter how much they might like to.

She puzzled over the question while she ate dinner alone. Leftover takeout from her favorite Chinese place. As she chewed she made a couple of rough estimates. Tried to recall just how many flowers there had been in her office that day… She remembered that stepping into her office had momentarily taken her breath away. It had been like stepping into a fairytale and how she had never even tried to count them. It would have felt too much like trying to figure out how a magic trick was done. It would rob it of something essential, something beautiful.

Had she really never asked herself that before? It felt strange to think that it had only just now occurred to her. Both the enormity of the gesture and how much something like that must have cost. Maybe because she hadn’t wanted to?

She speared a potsticker on the end of her chopsticks and chewed it without really tasting it. It wasn’t just the flowers though. There was the little matter of CatCo itself… What did it mean when your best friend bought you a company? But she already knew what it meant. A part of her had always known. It might have been the utter shock she had felt upon first hearing the news that had kept her from realizing it. Maybe it was Lena’s insistence that her buying CatCo was merely a business decision that she fully intended to make the most of even when Kara could see in her eyes it was so much more than that. Or maybe it was the simple fact that she was too afraid of what it might mean.

She had come within a hair's breadth of finally admitting it when Lena had sold CatCo to Andrea. When Lena had freely confessed just why she had bought the company. But then things hadn’t gone crashing down around them soon after that and the truth staring her in the face had been all too easy to ignore.

But what was stopping her now? When things between them had never been better? The answer came to Kara at once. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Save for however long it would take her to fly to Lena's penthouse and maybe a few stops along the way…

Kara shouldn't have been surprised that Lena's penthouse was empty when she flew past. Not when Lena spent most of her nights working well into the night. Usually that would have bothered her. But not tonight. Tonight it felt right. It offered a kind of harmony that they might look back on fondly…

She touched down on the balcony and realized that she was already smiling when she saw Lena sitting at her desk. Whatever she was working on had her full attention and it allowed Kara to cross the balcony without Lena noticing. She knocked twice and when Lena looked up from her work she did so with a knowing smile on her face.

"How did you know it was me?" Kara asked when Lena opened the balcony door.

"I had a feeling," Lena said, stepping aside to let Kara inside. "And the list of people I know that can enter through my balcony starts and ends with you. Is everything okay?"

"Everything's great. I just hope I'm not interrupting you."

Lena shook her head and it was only then that Kara realized she had taken off her heels, the difference in their heights a little more noticeable. "I was just about ready to call it a night." She waved a hand at her computer. "I could work through the morning and I'd still have plenty of work left to do. Might as well get a few hours of sleep before I do it all over again." she joked.

"You shouldn't work so late," Kara insisted.

"Look who's talking," Lena said but nodded a bit apologetically. "I'll take a day off soon," she promised. "We can do brunch," she suggested with a smile. "My treat."

"It's always your treat," Kara said and knew that there would be no better opening than now. "And even when it's not you always know how to distract me when the waiter comes by with our bill so that you can grab it first. How do you do that?"

Lena grinned. "You're not the only one with superpowers," she joked.

"You spend too much on me," Kara said softly.

"Well, you do eat a lot," Lena said, still grinning although it started to fade when she saw that Kara hadn't joined her.

"You filled my office with flowers," Kara said. "I have no idea how much that must have cost you. I still remember how magical it looked. It was like stepping into the Land of Oz. So much color. It's one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me, Lena."

"Kara..." Lena said, starting to blush. "You already thanked me for that ages ago. You don't have to do it again."

"I want to. You... You bought CatCo for me." She pursed her lips, feeling a tightness in her throat. "I never... I never really thanked you properly for that. How could I ever thank you for something like that?"

"Kara," Lena said, a little sternly, her cheeks now aflame. "It was n—"

"Don't say it was nothing," Kara pleaded. She shook her head and brushed at her eyes. Please don't say that. Don't try and diminish it when it means the world to me."

Lena nodded slowly and Kara could hear her heart beating a little faster, nearly keeping time with her own. "CatCo was important to you," Lena explained. "And I..." She took a breath and let it out slowly, looking everywhere but back at Kara. "I just like when you're happy," she said softly.

"I know," Kara murmured. "I feel the same way."

"Is that what you came all the over here to talk to me about?" Lena asked, and Kara could feel her trying to inject a little levity back into their conversation.

"Not exactly. Can you close your eyes for a second? Just one," Kara said, holding up her index finger to hammer home the point.

For a moment, Kara saw the polite curiosity on Lena's face and wondered if she might try and ask what for but when their eyes met, a small smile pulled at Lena's mouth and she shut her eyes.

"You can open them now," Kara said, looking the tiniest bit windswept.

"Oh my God..." There was a sharp intake of breath and Lena reached for Kara's arm as if she suddenly needed it to keep her balance. But when she clasped her wrist it was with a featherlight touch. "Kara, how did you?" she began to say but fell silent before she could finish her question. "It's beautiful," she said a little while later after she had taken in every inch of her office as if trying to commit it to memory, and for all Kara knew she was. "Like magic," she said and looked at Kara sideways and even that was enough to make Kara blush a little.

I bet it does look like magic, Kara thought. When Lena had closed her eyes her office had looked as it almost always did, fastidiously neat, the kind of mental image one might think up when imagining an office in a sprawling high-rise. When she opened them again her office was bursting with plumerias. Sprays of color in delicate shades of pink and white, vibrant yellow and blue as well as deep red and orange. And she still had one last trick up her sleeve... She reached behind her back in an obvious way to draw Lena's eye and pulled a bouquet from behind her back that she offered to Lena a bit timidly considering she had just filled her office with flowers.

#supercorptober2023 #supercorptober #my writing

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harasharaved · 7 months

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Jason Todd Fics - September 2023

Fics I recommend with a focus on or POV of Jason Todd. Masterpost can be found here.

Key: Has a ship or romantic plot, unfinished, multi-chapter, one-shot

NOTE: some of these do require an AO3 Account to read.

Whisper Closely in My Ear by Kangarou

The words went in one ear, rattled around like bees, before ramming out the other. The doctor was sitting painfully close, only two feet away. The tone of voice implied he was talking louder, not quite a yell but something nearly there; it sounded like a whisper to Jason. So quiet, with every third word unintelligible, except for that first phrase: "Mr Wayne, I'm afraid you're profoundly deaf." --- Jason is profoundly deaf. He learns to cope with it.

An AU in which Jason is deaf. This is one of my favorite Jason fics. I often find myself coming back to it. Its a great character study, introspective and has that delicious kind of hurt you just want to sit with for a while, with a helping dollop of comfort.

Children Will Listen by Parker Avenue

Jason Todd is good at extortion. He's what the adults call a snoop - nobody paid attention to the little kid with the big ears. Without even realizing, adults would hand him the keys to getting what he needed. Jason knew how to collect information, because adults found information valuable. And it was. It was free, easy to get, and easy to carry, so long as he kept his head clear and his facts straight. Jason had information Batman could use. He knew it. He had thought it over all day, sitting on that moldy couch, eating stale saltines. Batman would definitely be interested in the information Jason had. Batman had become scary again, like the old stories Jason used to hear the goons in the area tell. Breaking bones, just barely keeping people alive. Batman didn’t kill, no, but sometimes? Sometimes living was worse, maybe. Jason stayed crouched behind that dumpster, silent, because he simply couldn’t decide if Batman was far gone enough to make a kid wish he was dead. (Jason Todd knows how to get what he wants, and Batman tries to lure him to safety.)

Okay I will admit, my biggest weakness is fics about street kid Jason. Slow adoption got me good. Anyways, this one isn't finished but I love the way the pacing takes its time. Co-parents Bruce and Selina is never a con either!

Stargazer by LemonadeGarden

Jason Todd is seriously injured during patrol one night, and is forced to stay at the manor to recuperate until his injuries are healed. To pass the time, he makes a list of things he never got to do before he died. Except there's one small problem: most of them involve Bruce, and Jason doesn't really think Bruce cares all that much about him anymore. This is a story about how wrong he is, but I made it sad anyway.

I'm sure everyone and their mother has rec'd this fic, but I'm doing it anyways because I love it deeply. If you haven't read it, this is your sign!

Glow in the Dark Stars by essspressso (stylesmakethefight)

“I’m being serious, asshat,” Jason hisses, swatting his hands away from his face. “You have to tell me what year it is.” Nightwing crosses his arms a little petulantly. “It’s 2017. Happy?” Jason freezes, breath catching in his throat. 2017. Five years ago. He was…he was fifteen. “Shit,” he murmurs. He’s going to eviscerate Tim. Or: Red Hood Jason and 15-year-old Jason swap timelines, landing one week before 15-year-old Jason is supposed to die.

Time travel trope + Jason Todd's tragic ass life = amazing fics. Feelings, prepare to be felt! LOTS of Angst. You might even shed a tear. Wonderful fic!

Too Much Fucking Salt by Pez_The_Platypus

A rural housewife instinctively understood the law of quantity into quality. Add a pinch of salt to a soup and it tasted better; add one pinch too many and you ruined the batch. Jason had been in limbo for a year and a half, trusting things would get better even though everything just seemed to be getting worse. It was something small that set him off, but really, it was an accumulation of a lot of things that led to this. He was going to kill the Joker.

A one shot, but a LONG one. This one is very sad, heavy, and bittersweet. Its not Bruce or Dick "bashing", it provides a pretty well rounded and human description of them, which is to say they are not angels. Still, if you love pondering the tragedy of Jason Todd and themes of coping with trauma and the inherent grating sensation of trying to heal, this is a great fic for you.

YOU MUST KNOW LIFE TO KNOW DECAY by orpheusaki

Bruce starts, eyes glaring down at the city and unwilling to look anywhere else, especially in Jason's direction, "You always… hated the rain." Jason's breath gets caught in his throat. (For as long as Jason can remember, it's always been raining.)

Jason angst and character study rooted in comic-accuracy. Great short read!

This Kind of Weather by r_astra

Jason’s at school when his mom dies, and that’s the only reason any of it happens. If he’d been home, if he’d been with her, he would’ve been in the wind before anyone else even knew. Even if they looked, no one ever would’ve found him. He’d have taken to the sewers if that’s what it took, man-eating crocodile guy and all.

Yes, another Jason Todd adoption fic, one in which he does not steal the tires. I have a type and I'm limiting myself to only 2 of the many I love. This one does not have much of a focus at all on the Bat-side of things, just a story of Jason finding a home, much older than in the comics.

A Straight Blade by Sparkypants

"What happened to your face?" Bruce asks, reaching his hand for Jason's jaw. "You're bleeding." Jason bristles, cheeks turning pink. "I cut myself shaving." He says, and wipes at the cut with the cuff of his hoody. Damian makes a clicking noise with his tongue, "I'm amazed you haven't taken your own head off." He snarks. Jason shoves his chair away from the table, temper flaring. "Well it's not like anyone ever taught me, is it." He hisses. He's five years late, but Bruce finally teaches Jason how to shave.

Quick one-shot with feelings. Great little read I often find myself revisiting.

Growing Like a Breeze by WhaleofaTime

April 27th isn't anyone's favorite date, but it's somehow worse than usual today when Bruce gets his car stolen. It's nice of Red Hood to come to his rescue. Nicer even that Jason keeps him company afterwards.

One of those fics that explains everything about why Jason and Bruce's dynamic and relationship is so magnetic to read about. They both suck at feelings and yet make me feel SO MUCH.

#Jason Todd #DC #batfam #dc comics #fic recs #I have a lot more but i think this is enough for one post #Sarah's Bullshit #this is way more fun than all the work I'm meant to be doing right now.#please enjoy! tell me if theres one you really like bc i am always down to yell about fics!

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twig-tea · 3 months

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Lately I’ve been feeling like Thai bl is truly all over the place with so many shows airing at once and some of the best ones flying under the radar while discourse is focused on a couple of the big messy ones. I think you’re the only person I know who is actually watching ALL of them and has been here for the whole evolution of the genre, so I’m curious what stands out to you about this current moment. Do the shows feel different to you? Is the way fandom is interacting with them changing? And what are your current favs?

I ended up writing a thesis, sorry friend lol To be fair to me there are 3 questions in there, all of them meaty! I've done my best to give a sense of where I'm at with Thai BL and how it feels like it's changed over time.

Caveating all of this: I am just one fan who I'm sure has had specific experiences that will colour my opinion, also a lot of this is just vibes so I'm open to being told I've forgotten something major or misremembered what it was like! If you are reading this and your opinion or experience is different please share, with stuff like this I'm always interested in hearing about differing opinions because the fandom experience will depend at least partly on where you hang out. For years, my main fandom space for BL was the YouTube comments section (RIP me).

Overall feel

Honestly, things overall don't feel all that different to me in Thai BL in particular, even though I'm about to talk about a lot of changes and ways it actuallyd does feel very different below lol And after reflecting about it, I think it's because these things still feel very much in flux, in a way that they've felt in flux this entire time. Producers are still figuring out the best funding and distribution models and merch models to make money; creators are still calibrating how queer these shows can be and still be popular; actors are still figuring out how to do BGP (business gay performances) without having fans interfere in their private lives off the clock. Writers are still trying to figure out how to write 12-episode arcs that don't drag in the middle or fumble the ending (which is also not new). The tension between established ships, fan expectations, and genre requirements has honestly been there almost the whole time, though the reverberations of missteps is louder now because of the larger fanbase that is (comparatively) more plugged in to live viewing. The core question in BL has always been 'how do we make this marketable', and that unsurprisingly hasn't changed, though the answer to that question has over time, if that makes sense?

Shows

Do the shows feel different? As a whole, I'd say yes. The biggest differences are of course total quantity and overall quality, but the actual distribution of % of shows that have high(er) production values (i.e. quality) feels close to the same--it was close to 50/50 in the late 2010s and now is maybe more like 40/60 with a higher percentage coming from more smaller production companies. But the numbers we're talking about are something like 15 shows in e.g. 2018 and something more like 50 shows in 2023 (being vague because there are shows that people could argue over whether they should count). The quality overall has increased, even the pulps look better, sound better, and tend to feel a little bit more put together than the pulps of even 2020 (please note that these are all relative qualifiers, most of these shows are still not objectively good). 2020 in particular was a watershed moment for high production value BLs; we get colorists and special effects artists, and sometimes decent sound production now!

There has also been an improvement in terms of what is depicted and how certain subject matter is treated very generally, though I think that's still in flux. Things like evil ex girlfriends are less common than they were and the women in BL are more likely (in general, still not always) to be treated as realized characters. We've gotten more and better femme representation in ensemble shows, and the "gay for you" trope is much less common. Consent is now considered sexy and is much more common than it was; non-consent as "sexy" has eroded and is much less common. Things that used to happen in almost every BL now happen in a much lower percentage. I also feel a little bit less worried about some of the actors on pulp sets because there is more general scrutiny about things like minor actors, intimacy coordination, BGP (business gay performance) expectations, and sexual exploitation. Overall, show recommendations these days come with fewer caveats.

The assumption that if you worked with someone on a BL once you would stay with them as an established pairing was surprisingly early in BL; I don't know if it's just because there were a few shows that had side pairings then get main shows, so the actors did work together on a few shows in a row, which made them feel established, or whether it's because the BGP started early to build hype both before and after shows aired, or whether audiences just made homophobic assumptions about how if two actors had chemistry they had to be gay for each other, and otherwise nobody would want to "play gay" more than once, or would want to have to kiss too many other men....in any case, there were huge scandals and blow-ups around this in BL on even the earliest shows, and some early shows were snubbed because of the pairing alone. Similarly, it was established very early in BL (i.e. 2016-17) that an unhappy ending for a pair would result in your show being panned; cheating was also a guaranteed flop in BL circles (though some ensemble shows that had gay relationships in them such as Friend Zone did fine with cheating plots and unhappy endings). Overall it feels like some things were only depicted in early Thai BL and creators have avoided them since due to the audience reception at the time. I will say, generally, that there have now been enough examples of people in a "branded pair" moving on to a new pair or multiple shows, that it feels less like a death knell to a BL career if one of the actors says they no longer wanted to make BLs, or if they switched companies.

I pay a lot of attention to queerness in BL, and that has changed a little bit too, though not in the way I expected. I had been expecting a more clear and steady trajectory in BL, but we've instead had real swings, and I've realized there will just always be shows that feel more or less actually gay or queer than others, and that's ok. Early Thai shows really spoiled us for good queer content, GayOK Bangkok and Diary of Tootsies are still shows by which i measure what we get now, and both of those are from 2016. I would say that more "mainstream" BL (i.e. by one of the major production companies) hit what turned out to be queer saturation around 2020 and that's where I was most surprised not see a more clear trajectory; rather than things getting more queer from there, I'd say a greater percentage of shows overall feel more queer, but we haven't (and I now suspect won't) reach the queerness we had in Thai tv in 2016. That being said, my secret running list of things I want to see in BL gets shorter every year as entries get crossed off, so I would say the range of queer experience is slowly getting captured as more content continues to be made by a wider range of production houses (PrEP being mentioned in a mainstream show is my white whale).

I know some people assume that shows are higher heat now overall, but I don't think that's true. I do think Thai television producers and directors have overalll gotten better at capturing sensuality, and acting workshops have improved chemistry-building overall too. But from what I can tell the ratio of high head and low heat content is still pretty similar to what it's always been, maybe slightly higher (e.g. at a quick glance I'd guesstimate 30% of shows had a sex scene in 2018 vs 40% in 2023).

Fandom

The main differences in fandom from the really early days and now are the ways we, as international fans, are able to engage with each other, with thai audiences at the same time, and with content creators, and the entitlement that comes with that. In the 2010s we were almost always watching after Thai airing, with either fansubs or, later, official subs, trailing online releases by days or weeks, which themselves may have trailed the Thailand airing date by days or weeks or sometimes even months. That became less true around 2019ish, and especially in 2020 when I think Thai producers were desperate to reach audiences during the start of the pandemic (and when audiences were desperate for something to distract us from what was happening in real life).

As a fan in the mid-late 2010s, watching something was either unofficial via a fansubber, or you were wading through hundreds of Thai comments to find anyone else writing about the shows in English. Now, it's actually rare we don't have immediate international distribution, though it may be paid. If the subs are not up at the same time as the official upload, even on free sites, fans get furious. It's a bit surreal to see people complain about waiting a few hours for subtitles, especially on YouTube, when we sometimes waited months for a series to finish being subbed (not to say people didn't complain back then too, because they sure did! But there were fewer international fans overall, and it wasn't an expectation that there would be subs, so fewer people complained when it happened). This meant that a lot of people only watched shows when they were complete, and people were not watching with any kind of synchronicity.

With international fans moving into simultaneous watching with Thai audiences, we suddenly had the chance to talk about shows as they were airing and affect the conversations about them and even, sometimes, the decisions. Folks seem to have differing opinions about what makes a BL, and what makes a BL good, and they are vocal about when a show doesn't meet their standard. This has always been true, but the strong opinions have more of an effect on the discourse when they're expressed in real-time to the show being aired. Also, when we have literally 3x the number of Thai shows being aired (nevermind other countries which have also increased), it seems so much more egregious to me to complain if a single show doesn't meet your particular taste. Just go watch something else! That was less possible in 2016, but now nobody has any excuse lol Please note here that I'm not saying shows should not be criticized. But when you have one loud faction saying shows should have nothing but innocent kisses if any skinship at all and showing more is distasteful and possibly homophobic, and another faction saying a show should be panned if they don't have at least one sex scene and if there is no good kiss it's homophobic, I don't know where that leaves content creators but I see the tension and how it sometimes results in my least favourite tropes like "blushing maiden" even after a couple has canonically had sex. These factions have always existed in BL fandom, this is not new, they just both seem particularly silly now with so much content to choose from.

The shows that get attention and the shows that get snubbed feel the same too, in all honesty. You can ask yourself the following questions:

Is the show a little slower paced?

Are the story beats less melodramatic?

Do its characters feel more human?

Do they feel more queer?

Is it a comedy?

Is there any risk of an unhappy ending?

Do people not think one of the lead actors is hot?

Do people ship one of the lead actors with someone who isn't his costar?

Do people have to do anything other than go to YouTube to watch it?

If the answer is yes to any of those questions, and especially to the last one, fewer people will be watching, even if the show is good. That's always been true. [Shows I'm thinking about when I say that: Make it Right, He's Coming to Me, My Ride, You're My Sky, Oxygen (though the sides in this one are also at fault), YYY, Something in my Room, Ghost Host Ghost House, Dear Doctor I'm Coming for Soul, Cooking Crush.] All this is to say, there have always been shows that have been ignored, though I agree with you OP that with more shows airing, more are being ignored at any given time.

The other thing is that when a show is good, it doesn't necessarily invite discourse. The messes are often what encourage people to dig in, fill in gaps, linger in the adrenaline. The part that does feel different is also related to the increase in genre BLs; genre stuff in general tends to get more attention in fandom spaces, and the way people are functioning as fans feels different in that they're bringing the way they interact with genre content to BL as BL has started having larger and better funded genre content. I'm thinking about those early genre BLs like He She It, My Dream, Love Poison, Golden Blood, So Much In Love, Why R U....we started getting genre shows in BL in I think 2017 and basically had 1-2 a year until 2020ish and then it increased from there; and the ones that had funding and decent distribution got engagement until they started going off the rails, and then they had even more engagement and then fell off. I don't think it's a coincidence that the shows last year that got people to write meta were La Pluie, Be My Favorite, and I Feel You Linger in the Air. When a show is building a world, there's more to say and interrogate about it, and when a genre show fails, it can fail more spectacularly than a regular romance story. The most popular BL shows used to all be straight-up BL bubble romances, but I think genre shows really started to take over a greater percentage of the popular spots in 2022 and 2023. Again, the main difference here is that there used to be 1-2 stand-out shows per year, and now there are closer to 6+ per year, and as we got more stand-out shows the variety of what type of show stood out as popular has expanded. I do think the overall percentage of shows that are more standard romance plots has reduced, partly because Thai production companies are running out of popular y-novels to adapt. So I'm anticipating we'll continue to get more genre content going forward, and maybe a higher percentage of original works too.

Shows I'm Enjoying Right Now

Right now, the Thai shows airing that I'm watching are:

Cooking Crush

Dead Friend Forever

Cherry Magic Thailand

City of Stars

The Sign

Playboyy

PitBabe

7 Days before Valentine

For Him

Of those, I'd currently most recommend Cooking Crush as a generic BL recommendation. Dead Friend Forever is very good, but is not a romance and is difficult for some to watch (there are a lot of dark themes in addition to the gore and scary bits).

Cooking Crush is doing so many things I love. I've written about the way it's set up its major conflict to be amongst the friend group here, and way the show is depicting communication between the two main characters and how they improve their communication with one another as they get closer here. Two of my biggest BL pet peeves are a conflict for the sake of a dramatic penultimate episode that ignores or retcons a character's growth or the building of trust that a couple has already gone through in the series, so the fact that this show is working so hard to establish strong communication between its leads and then setting up the significant drama to actually about friendship rather than romance is something I cannot overstate my excitement about. To tie this back into what I wrote above, this reminds me of Diary of Tootsies and I mean that in the best possible way.

Dead Friend Foreever is, like I mentioned above, not a romance; it's a slasher horror melodrama with a very well established mystery, an ensemble cast of mostly hateable characters (which I admit isn't usually my thing, but since they're likely all going to die as a result of the genre they're in I'm finding that more tolerable than usual, and there is at least one character I like). DFF did a great job of structuring the story for the ultimate payoff of information reveals. There are a lot of shows that have been messing with non-linear storytelling recently, Cooking Crush being one of the ones that actually does this poorly in my opinion, but Dead Friend Forever effectively uses non-linear storytelling so that we find out important pieces of information about particular characters at a time when that information will have the most emotional impact on what is happening in the "present" of the storyline. Every time there is a reveal, it informs what we've already seen, recontextualizes it, and means we understand some of the character motivations and actions differently from when we saw them the first time. I mentioned above that there are dark themes in this show; one of the things that I really like about this show is that the impact of class is not glossed over, and that the consequences of these events feel very real for the characters; people do terrible things in this show, but these actions are not treated lightly by the show itself.

You'd think these two shows would have nothing in common, but there are things that they share that put them both in my top category. Generally, in both of these shows, the character arcs are clear and logical; when a character does something, even if I don't like the action itself, I can understand exactly why they that and can see how it matches where they are in their arc at the time. The shows show change in characters as a result of what they experience, and the relationships in this show really matter. When characters start acting in ways that feel out of character or against their own arc because they have to in order to drive the plot forward, I struggle to remain invested; that's not happening with either of these shows. Both of these shows also treat serious topics with seriousness, and consequences for actions are real and felt by the characters in the show (and if someone gets away with something, the show is clear that this is not just). Nothing has happened that hasn't been signalled or implied earlier. Both shows also have clear class consciousness and represent the disparity caused by classism in a critical/harsh light.

Whew! I think I got to everything you asked. Thanks again for the extremely interesting question!

#ask game #bl meta #long post #typed so that I can stop thinking it #fandom meta #multi bl #thank you for the ask!

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thisbuildinghasfeelings · 4 months

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It's been a tough year in a lot of ways, but one thing I've been able to consistently count on to bring me joy is the incredible writing in this fandom! I feel like 2023 has been almost a golden age of Tarlos fic. With both the sheer quantity AND quality of fic, it has been a wonderful time to be a Tarlos fic reader! In celebration of this golden age, I wanted to share a list of some of the fic that brought me the most joy in the past year.

Of course, this is not a comprehensive list...as much as I may want to, I can't possibly read everything this fandom has to offer. There's still a lot to get to on my to-read list. And even from the fic I did read, I'm sure I'm forgetting some amazing ones. There's just SO MUCH. But here I have listed (alphabetic by author) some of the fic that most resonated with me the past year, fic that I still think about and reread, and fic that has taken up full time residence in my brain!

There are A LOT...so I'll be putting the list under the cut.

all my blood for the sweetness of his laugh by @alrightbuckaroo

A truly beautiful little fic about Carlos' feelings about TK's laugh. A bit of angst and a lot of love.

anger has told me her real name is grief by alrightbuckaroo

An excellent 4x17/4x18 fic that deals a lot with Carlos' grief and the journey he goes through in those two episodes.

my beatin' heart belongs to you by bartsy

A fic about Carlos' anxiety after the death of his father, manifested in his fears for the safety of his husband. This fic is so beautiful and very in character. I would love it so much if the show would go even a tiny bit in the direction of exploring Carlos' anxiety!

It Beats for You by @basilsunrise

A 4x04 coda, porn with feelings and bottom Carlos...truly, what more could I ask for?? Very hot and SO MANY feelings!

she has almost killed me with love for that boy by @beautifulhigh

Another 4x04 coda (there can never be enough) that's also a study of the different types of love, all of which Carlos has in his life.

How quickly we change overnight by @birdclowns

A pre-canon fic about TK and his relationship with Alex. I particularly love this kind of thing where we have so little concrete information in canon. It's a perfect opportunity for fic, and I really love this one. Alex could easily be handled as some horrible villain, but the way he's handled here is far more realistic and I think it makes my heart break for TK even more.

Even if the World Ends Tomorrow by @bonheur-cafe

A post-apocalypse AU that's a little terrifying but ultimately very hopeful. This is one that I kept thinking about long after I read it.

can i be close to you? by @catanisspicy

A 5+1 fic about TK asking Carlos if he'd still love him if he was a worm. A true delight! This is another fic I still think about all the time.

slowly, then all at once by catanisspicy

A fic about TK and Carlos loving each other, which is one of my favorite things in the world.

The Center of the Maze by @carlos-in-glasses

7 times TK and Carlos thought they would never get married and one time they actually did. This fic covers so many of the most significant moments of their relationship and is so very beautifully written. I think my favorite part is (predictably) the section related to the soulmates scene.

When Soulmates Swim by carlos-in-glasses

A wonderful AU where TK and Carlos get to know each other while swimming together. It's everything: hot, sweet, beautiful, poignant, and sometimes incredibly hilarious.

Release the Hand to Relax the Animal by carlos-in-glasses

A fic that's all about touch and the great sex, past and present, that TK and Carlos have had. A true masterpiece.

We Have Suffered Enough by @chicgeekgirl89

A 4x16 coda. Oh, the soulmates scene! I'm automatically going to love anything even remotely soulmates scene-adjacent, and this one is particularly beautiful.

Shiner by chicgeekgirl89

A 4x15 coda dealing with Carlos finding out about TK's black eye, which is something I desperately wanted to see on screen. I love the way it goes here. It's incredibly sweet.

Cold Feet by @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut

A lovely little fic that has Carlos feeling some big feelings about his soon-to-be husband.

When I'm Like This by cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut

An early season 1 Tarlos fic with a lot of angst and feelings, which is always one of my favorite things. This one is ridiculously hot, yet also filled with so much emotion and feelings and gorgeous writing. Just thinking about it makes me want to reread!

to build a home by @freneticfloetry

A Carlos character study, from pre-series through season 4. If there was ever a character I wanted to study, it's Carlos Reyes. And this fic is beautifully done, expertly exploring the complexities of his character and the gaps canon has left to be filled.

The Sting by @goodways

Shortly after they're married, Carlos gets involved in an FBI sting operation that requires him to go on a date and flirt with another man, something that TK is not thrilled about. This fic is at times funny, emotional, hot and sweet.

First night by goodways

The first time TK and Carlos have sex and all the feelings and attempted avoidance of feelings that comes with it. So many feelings!!!

Take my hand, take my whole life, too by @heartstringsduet

HANDS. What more could I ask for? This fic is an absolutely gorgeous exploration of TK and Carlos' intimacy across their whole lives together. I'm ready to tear up just thinking about it!

But most of it was beautiful by heartstringsduet

An at-home Tarlos honeymoon fic. I call a lot of fic on this list beautiful, but sometimes there's no better word. This fic is beautiful.

broken glass by @irispurpurea

A beautiful, heartbreaking exploration of Carlos' grief. It's all fragmented and non-linear, which only adds to how moving and powerful it is.

a little bit more by krissyloowhoo

An installment of a series in which TK and Carlos adopt a baby girl. This one features Carlos in love with what a good dad TK is.

Stand your brand of love by @ladytessa74

A Tarlos honeymoon fic written prior to the end of the season. This was a go-to reread for me in the weeks leading up to the finale. Even now, when it's no longer technically canon compliant, the emotions hit just as hard.

How I linger to admire by ladytessa74

This fic is pretty much my dream season 5. It has everything: Carlos solving his father's murder, TK and Carlos getting held at gunpoint, and Lou II saving the day. Several items on my wish list for season 5 were directly inspired by reading this fic.

Do it all over again by ladytessa74

TK tries for a do over of the proposal because he thinks Carlos deserves better, which leads to a series of funny, adorable and touching moments. The writing is beautiful, and it even inspired a cross stitch! I have many favorite things about Tessa's writing, but one of my very favorite things is the way she writes the intimacy and affection and touch between TK and Carlos. This fic is filled with some of my favorite examples of that.

All Your Colors Make Me Feel Alive by @lemonlyman-dotcom

This wonderful fic uses the music of Beck to explore moments in TK and Carlos' relationship. Angst and fluff: the best combination.

I'm Not A Fortress, But I Will Try To Protect You by lemonlyman-dotcom

TK and Marjan have a conversation in the wake of the events of 2x04. One of my favorite parts of Lemon's writing is the incredible amount of backstory detail, most particularly the friendship between TK and Marjan. There are hints of this in canon, but here it's beautifully developed and I love it so much.

Call Me If You Get Lost by lemonlyman-dotcom

TK and Carlos go for a romantic weekend while also looking out for a friend. This fic is a delight and so much fun!

Love From the Other Side by @lightningboltreader

Exes to lovers and only one bed...what could possibly be better?? I particularly enjoy the conversation between TK and Carlos that leads to their reconciliation.

We were in screaming color by @liminalmemories21

I was looking forward to this season 4 fic since before the season even started airing! I can imagine it must have been particularly difficult to write, from the ridiculous season 4 timeline to all the plotholes and inconsistencies that the Iris storyline and Carlos' sudden two sisters created, but it was done beautifully. It made me think about so many season 4 details and moments in different ways and ultimately led to an enhanced appreciation of the season.

I need you so much closer by @marjansmarwani

A 4x04 coda. This one focuses on all the many people who love Carlos. I always love to read about Carlos being loved!

where the empty space is a saving grace by @maxbegone

Carlos talks with Gwyn in the time before he's revived by TK and the narcan in 4x04. Beautiful and poignant.

etched in gold by maxbegone

A lovely little wedding moment where TK and Carlos get some alone time during the reception.

By Your Side by @never-blooms

The Reyes kitchen through the years. If there's anything that deserves more exploration, it's the Reyes family and all their complexities. This fic does an incredible job of this and is so beautifully written.

The Calling by @orchidscript

This is a fascinating and beautiful fic about TK using his experience with addiction to help people in the course of his job as a paramedic. It's something I would love so much for them to explore on the show!

Under A Star Spell by orchidscript

In this AU, Carlos practices folk magic. The fic itself is absolutely magical. One of the things I love about it is how different it is from pretty much every other Tarlos fic I've ever read.

Lost and Found by @paperstorm

A 4x04 coda (if there's one thing about me, it's that I love a 4x04 coda). I loved this episode so much but there was so much more I wanted, particularly to see what happened in the aftermath at the hospital, which is why this fic is so appreciated.

Ritual by paperstorm

An installment of Andie's spectacular Missing Moments series. I could easily have put every installment on this list, but I chose the one for 2x11, which is my favorite of the season 2 fics. I'm always a sucker for Carlos working through his feelings about his relationship with his parents!

The Firehouse by paperstorm

An incredible AU with TK and Carlos as childhood friends who meet again years later when Carlos is undercover and TK is living a life of crime. The angst in this one is spectacular, and the payoff is beautiful and earned and extraordinarily satisfying.

peace by @redshirt2

Carlos post-breakup. This little fic is heartbreaking and perfectly captures Carlos' desolate state of mind as he's left alone.

dream this night away by @reyesstrand

A pre-season 4 honeymoon fic where TK and Carlos end up in a motel after their flight is cancelled. A little bit of angst and a lot of love and tenderness.

to which there is no reply by reyesstrand

An absolutely gorgeous honeymoon fic, this time canon-compliant, that features Carlos struggling with his grief and being loved by his husband.

balancing act by reyesstrand

TK and Carlos sharing food and falling in love. What could possibly be better? This fic is so beautiful and it spans the entirety of their relationship. An incredible achievement and a true gift to readers!

the strong will never fall by @rmd-writes

Another 4x04 coda (I truly can never get enough). This one is incredibly tender and emotional.

shine some light on my day by @rosedavid

A sweet, fluffy, gentle fic about TK and Carlos waking up and getting ready for the day together. Domestic fluff at its finest!

and salt the earth behind you by @safeashousespdf

TK brings Carlos to New York 6 months after Gwyn's death and TK grapples with the ways things have changed and the ways he has changed. This fic is incredibly powerful. I read it months ago but I still think about it.

you and me, forevermore by @strandnreyes

A gorgeous wedding coda that made me cry multiple times.

Come what may, I'll still stay by strandnreyes

Carlos struggles with his work-life balance when he becomes a detective. It gets worse and worse until he makes a pretty big mistake that shows him just how bad things have gotten. Lots of angst, but also lots of happiness by the end and so much love permeating through every bit of it. This was one of the THE fics of the year for me and it still lives rent free in my brain!

no rules in breakable heaven by strandnreyes

An AU where Carlos takes a job as a private chef in the Hamptons for TK's family. Jen wrote so many incredible AUs this year, but this one was my favorite. Just the right amount of angst with a proportionately happy ending! And the descriptions of the food Carlos was preparing always made me very hungry.

As long as it's with you by @tailoredshirt

TK and Carlos spend their first Valentine's Day as husbands in the ER, but it's nothing too serious. This fic is mostly soft and sweet. I still think about it all the time, especially the little gestures and affectionate touches between them. It's a lovely little fic that's guaranteed to make you smile.

tell me how by @theghostofashton

Carlos and his grief leading up to the wedding. Beautiful and heartbreaking. I loved this so much.

Back to You and Me by @three-drink-amy

A lovely 4x16 coda. In celebration of finding out that TK doesn't have to worry about Huntington's, TK and Carlos go back to the honky tonk where it all began!

The Weight of Grief by @wandering-night19

This is an absolutely riveting fic that has TK near-death in a coma (again). It's poignant and heartbreaking. One scene in particular in the final chapter makes me want to cry just thinking about it! Some chapters deal with Andrea and Gabriel backstory, which eventually links up to the ongoing story in the present. The whole thing is so well written and beautifully constructed.

living at the centre of a wound still fresh by @welcometololaland

A heartbreaking, beautiful masterpiece of a fic. Carlos struggles with his grief on their honeymoon, but TK is there to help him through. Just thinking about this one makes me want to cry...and also reread!

a long time ago (we used to be friends) by welcometololaland

A masterpiece of an AU, exes to lovers with private investigator Carlos and wrongly accused of murder TK. They work together to clear TK's name and come back together in a beautiful way.

#911 lone star #911 lone star fic #FIC REC

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gunsatthaphan · 4 months

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✌🏻✨ ~ 2023 wrap-up ~ ✨✌🏻

another year gone, another post no one asked for djkghdf

I normally don't talk about personal stuff on here but like in the previous year I wanted do a little recap and give shoutouts to some lovely people 🧡

It hasn't been an easy year for me, I started a new job which has been stressful and annihilated my work-life balance which resulted in me being sick a lot & just being stressed for most of the year lol. I barely found time to maintain this blog which may not seem like it on the outside since I somehow managed to frequently post but it's been difficult. I know I don't have to be online 24/7 but the fear of slipping into irrelevancy due to lack of content remains. I didn't have much time to watch bls & asian shows in general which I still consider my safe space and escapism so I'm resentful that I didn't get to fully take in and enjoy the things I'm passionate about and make content about them like I did in the previous years. That being said thank god for all the weekend shows that I did manage to watch and fully focus on like Only Friends and now Cooking Crush and Cherry Magic. Those have been life savers lol and also thank god for all the talented creators who gave us tons of content; I will mention some of them below.

But aside from my personal schedule and despite not watching a lot of stuff, I still tried to keep an eye on what's going on in the BL world for my monthly breakdowns, which I still enjoy making and I will likely continue them in 2024. I also came to the conclusion that 2023 ended up being another rendition of quantity > quality in the BL-verse so not much has changed lol - not that I expected it to. We got a wild and extended mix of different genres and subgenres this year which was nice to see. We saw companies & actors experimenting a lot (with varying results), we got new ships, new fandoms and new enemies, as well as a variety of comebacks and retirements. My watchlist this year was limited to Thai BLs and my blog mostly consisted of gmmtv related content and like I said, if I had had more time I probably would have explored more different shows - but I eventually resorted to what's familiar. I guess I needed an anchor in midst of all my personal chaos lol.

But despite my short list, there were a few gems that I enjoyed. The big ones like Only Friends, Moonlight Chicken, Be My Favorite, etc., and the small, less popular ones like Be Mine Superstar, Mission Fan Possible and a few more. I enjoyed talking to friends & making content about them in the limited timeframes I had. My opinions mostly matched those of the general public but unfortunately there were a few disappointments that were bathing in a success that I could not wrap my head around - Dangerous Romance and A Boss and a Babe being at the top of that list, followed by La Pluie and also a few of the lakorns I watched. But anyway.

Anyone who knows me knows my blog has been 83% FirstKhao this year lmao, they're my favorite people in this industry and watching them act, interact & making content about them has been one of my highlights. I'm excited to see what 2024 brings for them and even if it's not a series, I'm looking forward to seeing what else they will be up to 🥺 🐈‍⬛ 🐈

I'm going into 2024 with mixed feelings but above all I hope I will get the chance to expand my watchlist a little. I will post a personal top10 of the shows I watched this year shortly; until then I want to talk a bit about some lovely people this year - I’m not good with words lmao but thank you for being you and making this hellsite a better place 🥹 lol.

@leonpob - bestie!!! 🧡 our BL opinions have drifted apart this year lmao but who's to say friendships are solely based on mutual opinions. You're the best, stay the way you are and here's to another year of sharing thoughts and hopefully finding more shows to watch together (no matter if trash or not lol) 😉😘 @mayalunas - ahhhh I loved talking to you sooo so much this year, we agree on so many things that I'm convinced we share the same BL braincells lmao. You're one of my favorite people on this website, thank you for being such a good listener and a positive & supportive person to talk to 🥺 I hope you have the best 2024!!! ily!!! 🧡 @khunvegas - GURL idk where you went this year or if you still exist sdjkds but just know I haven't forgotten about you and I miss our talks 🥺 come back pls thank. @my-wandering-rabbit - I love our random out-of-context talks once a month lmao, I appreciate you and I hope we will continue our ritual of me watching shows and you asking me questions without watching them kjsdhg @bl-recs-and-reviews - Bestie!!! I love our catch-ups on Discord, you were one of the first people I ever talked to like 4 years ago? crazy. look at us. I still love you, you're the sweetest and I love talking to you 🧡🥺 @dreamedofyou - ahh I absolutely love your blog!!! I noticed you a lot in my notifications this year so I wanted to say thank you so much for interacting with my unhinged content (mostly FK related lmao) - We haven't talked a ton but I think of you as a very nice person and I hope we can talk more next year 🥹🫶🏻

and then of course some more shoutouts go out to all the wonderful and talented creators out there; I will never be able to tag all of you so sorry in advance but here are a few that I appreciate, some of which have also mentioned me in their wrap-up posts so thank you for that!!!

@taeminie @seatawinan @loveisactivated @forcebook @jimmysea @guzhu-furen @daymork @itsallaboutbl @seatawinans @blneobin @blmpfff @wanderlust-in-my-soul @pranpat @milkpansa @raypakorn @ahxu-laowen @forcebookish @forcebookcorner @morkofday @chinzillas @seajimmy @dimpledpran @i-got-the-feels @bengiyo @benkaaoi @25shadesoffebruary @moonkhao @smittenskitten @respectthepetty @earthfluuke @pharawee @khaotunq @khaotunqs @pranink @gabrielokun @piningintrovert @zhaozi @markpakin @firstkanaphans @firstforkhao @khaotungsfirst @wen-kexing-apologist @firstkpp @firstmix @bunnakit @khaothanawat @alienwlw @ffirstkhao (I can't tag the last 4 for some reason..)

have the best 2024!!!

🧡🧡🧡

#happy new year!!!#happy 2024!!!#<3 #shoutouts

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deoidesign · 8 months

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Hello I stumbled across your profile and I just say I love your art style! I've gotta ask, how'd your develop it? And do you have any advice for someone who can't decide what they want their art to look like?

Thank you so much!

To be entirely honest, I don't feel like I truly "developed" my style. I feel a lot more like I finally let myself draw it! But I am incredibly deliberate with my work, and I do have clear tendencies and preferences... So I'll do my best to explain how I got to where I am now as an artist.

It's important to remember that "style" is something of a nebulous concept. It changes with you as you grow as a person, and most artists can work in and emulate many art styles! Art really is a form of communication with yourself, and your "style" is a reflection of the tendencies and preferences you have. My art does not look how it looked 5 years ago, and my art will look different 5 years from now too. I've changed, and my art reflects that!

(2012, 2018, 2023; two pieces I remember being incredibly proud of and considered my best work up til that point, and then my most recent piece)

What you need to do, as everyone will tell you, is study the fundamentals (anatomy, perspective, form and structure, lighting and shadow, color, and composition) so you have the proper tools to make the most informed decisions possible about your art, and so you can deliberately break or follow rules as you please for your desired effect. I know it sounds silly to learn rules if you're not gonna be following them anyways, but they help you be much more consistent and intentional! More knowledge is NEVER a bad thing to have!

However, I know it's a bit demoralizing to just be told to study fundamentals. Everyone knows you're supposed to do that, but it takes YEARS to learn, and people want their art to feel how they want it to now (which is very very very normal to want!)

So on that front, I have 2 follow up suggestions that I personally find helpful (of course, everyone is different, so it's not like this is the only way to learn! But, if it resonates with you, it might mean it will work for you too.)

1: Separate study from application

I believe this is beneficial for a few reasons:

If the goal of every piece is learning, it can become frustrating, overwhelming, and boring

It's harder to self critique when there are multiple variables to investigate. I like to study one fundamental at a time

Study (usually) works best with a large quantity of output, whereas application of knowledge (finished pieces) is often more satisfying and effective when you get to take your time

Deliberate practical application of what you've learned in a finished piece helps cement the learning in your mind, and also lets you get satisfying finished pieces with noticeable improvement after a good study session!

I've found that keeping these things separate helps me improve faster and more deliberately, and it takes a lot of the pressure off of both aspects! I'm not worried about my studies looking beautiful, they're just to learn! And I don't feel pressured to critique my finished pieces, cause they're just for fun and to make something pretty. I personally find this helps me have a much healthier relationship with my art.

When studying, copy! Copy things as best as you can, all the time. It gives you something to compare to for self critique (and of course, if you're copying someone else's work and you share the study, ALWAYS give credit, share the original, and say it was for study.) In application, don't copy: reference. Make it yours!

2: Let yourself do the things that feel "easy" or like "cheating"

This one is simpler: nothing in art is easy.

If something feels easy to you, most of the time it's not because it's actually any easier... It's because it's part of your natural tendencies and preferences! This took me forever to realize, but as long as you're actually doing some study, then you're learning. You don't need to learn All The Time. When you're doing the "application" portion, you should let yourself do whatever is actually the most fun and feels easiest! This is where your style will start to come through, and where you get to learn about yourself. Take the pressure off, and have fun!!!

The only cheating in art is theft. If you're not stealing, then it's allowed!

My whole life (and yes, still!) I'd get regular criticism about both my style and my subject matter. You will too. You'll see a thousand different styles, and a hundred different things to admire in each. Your heart will ache that you don't draw like others do.

But art is a form of communication with yourself. It's like your voice, or your accent; just something that's a part of you! It can be fun to mimic others', but when you sit to have a conversation you speak naturally. (I know some people want to and do change their voice, but this is a metaphor and metaphors aren't perfect)

Don't stress so much about what you want your art to look like, especially if you're not sure. There's a lot of value to be had in constant experimentation, I think it'd be rather boring to only draw one style the rest of my life. What I draw is what I want to see, right now, for who I am now! It's a part of me and comes naturally, if I let it!

I hope this helps!

#justbrowsing1124 #asks #art tips #drawing advice #drawing tips #art advice #long post here sorry #long post #I could have gone on so so so so so so much more but this took me like 2 hours to write #and I've gotta go to bed! haha #so if you feel like something wasn't properly explained you can send a follow up ask and I'd be happy to elaborate #I love answering questions like this #sorry if it sounds a bit condescending I wrote the post for like... what would have helped me to hear when I was just starting out #so I wrote it basically for how I think would help I guess a kid #sorry about that. the content is still all what I think though #also I realize that i didn't really talk about like... my journey... at all here lol.#I guess if you wanna know my personal journey I'd love to get into it!#but i focused a lot more on the second part #cause yknow #that's kinda what my journey was internally anyways #but yknow no fun progress of my art with notes about what I was doing and why #but fuck that sounds fun if someone did wanna know about that LOL #I am VERY deliberate with my art I could legit analyze every piece #pretentious? maybe. do I care? not at all.#why make it if I dont have a reason?

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ultrainfinitepit · 14 days

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Angelology IV: End of Week Three

Hello angel enthusiasts! It's the end of week three of Angelology IV, time for our weekly recap. Here are all the pins that we have funded, now including the BG3 pins!

Our next funding goal is the Eldritch Saints recolors at $16K. Remember, if these are funded during the campaign, backers can pledge for them at the discounted price of $15 instead of the preorder price of $16-18. If we don't reach this goal, these designs will be available to unlock in the survey/preorder store based on order quantity per design.

I thought I'd share a little bit of my crowdfunding plans. If you haven't heard already, my next campaign after Angelology IV will be Pride Angels, you can read about it on its pre-launch page. I'd like to launch it during June, which is Pride Month, but that might overlap with Angelology IV so I'll see how things go!

After that I'm not too sure what, if any, pin campaign I'll run next. I have two ideas but I'm trying to decide if it's better to self-fund a small amount of pins, open preorders or a pin club, or run crowdfunding campaigns instead. Let me know your preference in the poll I published!

Anyway, my two ideas are:

Themed Monster Enamel Pins - monsters themed after different aesthetics such as Victorian Gothic, Rococo, Medieval, etc. If you saw my Cowboy and Film Noir Monsters pins, this campaign would be in the same vein as those, and those pins would be made available in new colors.

Blood and Holy Water - vampire and angel themed pins. I feel like there's shared imagery between vampires and angels and it would be neat to make pins for that. I'll be working on these during this year's Angeltober. (What is Angeltober you might be asking? It is my annual October art challenge themed after angels. You can find the previous prompts here: 2021, 2022, 2023)

Which idea sounds more appealing? Do you prefer crowdfunding or another method of funding pins? Let me know in the poll on Backerkit.

Have a wonderful rest of your weekend!

#angelology #angelology iv #angelology iv: angels of extinction #enamel pin #enamel pins #pin #bg3 #pins #baldur's gate 3

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perryavenue · 6 months

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rainjoy Has A New Post. It's Personal

rainjoy is one of my favorite Klaine fanfic authors. Their first Klaine fanfic was published on LiveJournal in 2011, their last in 2021. Health issues have become more intense over time. Their most famous works, All The Other Ghosts and Grey, were published in 2012 and 2013. So those who've joined the fandom fairly recently may not even know about their other fics, the most recent one being from 2021. rainjoy has written Klaine in every genre: high school!Klaine, college!Klaine, married!Klaine, supernatural!Klaine, fantasy!Klaine, and even superhero!Klaine.

Here is a link to rainjoy's works on Live Journal

Here's a link for Dreamwidth

I hope that you'll help boost it by re-blogging. Thanks in advance, @klaineccfanficlibrary and @todaydreambelieversfic

This is rainjoy's post from today (October 27, 2023).

"Hello, I’m still alive.

Hello, I do mean it, hello anybody around to see this, I really hope you’ve been well, I’m sorry I haven’t been around, I *haven’t* been well. But I have, over a course of fucking months, actually written something, so I’m writing *this* here so I don’t need to leave a novel-length author’s note on it, as some kind of explanation of where I’ve been.

Largely, I’ve been in bed, I’m likely going there again after posting this, they need to invent new words for how tired I am so much of the time, my upgraded wheelchair is worth about as much as my *laptop*, my life revolves around Can I? Probably not. and lots and lots and lots of ‘resting’. I’ve not been well, but please don’t worry, I’ve not been unhappy. This is the golden age of being ill, the sheer quantity of stuff out there to amuse the bedbound – I have books and podcasts, all of Netflix, I practically live on Sky: Children of the Light, when I’m too dopey even for that I have Animal Crossing, when I am genuinely such a puddle of not-human lethargy that all I need is for time to pass until I feel just slightly better again I have videos of other people playing video games on YouTube and I’m sorry my darling baby moths I will pick you up and help you every single time but it will never not be funny watching someone go through Eden for the first time on YouTube, it just never will not make me laugh, oh my gods I’m so *sorry* my loves <3

So anyway, there’s all that, that’s where I’ve been, life really does not work out the way you planned it to, huh? Because outside of my bed, I know I have messages and emails and someone got a tattoo?? You got a tattoo and I’m just really sorry I haven’t been in touch, my energy has to be paid out like a miser, if I want to wash my hair then wow the world is really not getting anything else out of me, you know? But I am still here, and I do still love the things I love. I still think all of it is worth it. I think the world is a *lot* of fun, though I bear in mind that still, and always, we live through very frightening and distressing times. Which actually makes me think we need to cling to the things we love *more*, not less, love makes better people of us, when we let it.

So I did watch the new season of Good Omens when it came out, and safe to say I was not impressed, but it did jog in me the memory that didn’t I write a sequel to it? Yes I did, and it involved *all* that blood. But I reread it – it’s like reading a stranger’s writing after so long – and that jogged the memory: Didn’t you start a sequel to *this*?

Yes I did! Two thirds written, actually, hurrah for my past self. The last third took, I don’t know, when did the new season come out, it took that long. I used to sneeze out this sort of thing. This, now, is getting at my arms, it’ll be another lie down soon. But anyway, the point of all this: I live yet. In the next few days I *hope* I will be formatting and posting a sequel to But Thou Readst Black because of course everyone wants *that* back in their heads again, my gods. And I hope hope hope you’ve been well, I do think of people while I’m stuck doing nothing but pooling my brain out of my ears on YouTube. Look after yourselves, take care of each other, my gods you tattooed yourself I mean more power to you but it alarms me when things I make turn out to be *permanent*, you know? It feels like I barely touch the world anymore, my circumference has become so small, but it makes the world seem only more precious. Take good care of it, and of yourself as part of it. And very, very much love, to anyone remaining to see this, much love <3"

#rainjoy #klaine fanfic #rainjoys writing

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the---hermit · 1 year

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29|03|2023

This slight anxiety for exam season is not really leaving me. I am trying to focus on smaller tasks, not to be overwhelmed by the bigger picutre, but I have this feeling of running out of time and not making the most of it. I think it's mostly due to the fact that I am very intimidated by the quantity of stuff I have to study for my protohistory exam, and although I have generally worked very well in the past few weeks I am afraid I won't be able to study everything. I really hope I can find a way to silence this anxiety, because as I had mentioned in previous posts my goal for this spring break was to at least get a couple of days of no studying at all, but I am starting to be afraid I won't be able to do that. On top of that I have yet to figure out what my weekly routine will look like once I pick up my new classes, since I'll have to commute to uni every day. My brain tells me I have to focus on one thing at the time, but for some reason I am struggling a bit. It's like my anxiety induced thoughts spill out a bit sometimes.

Productivity:

finished my first outloud review of the history of libraries and reading material

wrote down a set of key words to review for that exam

started to reread my old prehistory notes (there's a lot of informations I'll have to study for my protohistory exam and I think it's a good way to refresh stuff I have studied already) I read about the Chalcolithic eraand started with the Bronze age part of those notes

finished setting up my bullet journal for April

reviewed out loud my materials for the history of libraries and reading exam for a second time

practiced Irish on duolingo

posted this book review

Self care:

read first thing in the morning

played my feel good playlist a lot

listened to a podcast while playing mindless games online to relax my brain a little

📖: Anansi Boys by Neil Gaiman (I don't know if it's exam season draining me but I am going super slow with this book. I am not loving or hating it, I am not sure I got into the story properly, there's something about the characters that doesn't totally convince me. Thankfully Gaiman's writing is always super light for me so it's not too hard to stay focused while reading although I don't have lots of energies)

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explicitred · 11 months

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30 Days Fanfic Event

Event Duration: June 5 - July 4, 2023

Hello, it's been a while since I've posted. I plan on scheduling a post for each day of this event. I have talked about how I wanted to write more before in a previous post and found the idea to do a 30-day fanfic event today.

During this event, a post will arrive at 6:00PM (PST) each day. If a fanfic is not yet posted at 6PM, it is either due to the post's incompletion, or the scheduling. I've found in the past that the scheduling method when posting does not always arrive at the exact time that you schedule it. (I think I've fixed it majorly now, I changed my timezone)

Furthermore, I plan to write mainly headcanons for this event, but I can still write other formats too.

If you have any suggestions or requests on anyone you want me to write about, please dm me (or place a submission). I’ll consider the request, thanks! (Please note that even after the event starts, I will still allow requests until the event ends or until I’ve already planned out all posts for each day.)

Diluc Headcanons - (Male Reader) (for some reason it posted at 3pm pst oops)

Zhongli Headcanons - (Male Reader)

Cyno Headcanons - (Male Reader)

Dottore Headcanons - (Male Reader)

Albedo Headcanons - (Male Reader)

Pantalone Headcanons - (Male Reader)

Wanderer/Scaramouche Headcanons - (Male Reader)

Xiao (Trying to Get Your Attention ♡)

It's been a long day... Alhaitham x (Male Reader)

Kazuha Headcanons - (Male Reader)

Thoma Headcanons - (Male Reader)

Xiao Headcanons - (Male Reader)

Dottore's Experiments - (Most Highest Voted)

Pantalone's wallet is MY wallet (2nd Highest Voted)

Noises - Alhaitham (3rd Highest Voted) (Decided on the three most voted in Dottore's Headcanons poll)

Love at First Sight, Childe x Male Reader

Sumeru Random Headcanons - (Male Reader)

Ayato, Let's Get Wed, Darling.

Albedo Headcanons - (Male Reader)

Kaveh as Your Boyfriend - (Male Reader)

Dainsleif (Most Highest Voted)

Jealousy - Albedo (2nd Highest Voted/Tied)

Nightmare - Zhongli (2nd Highest Voted/Tied) (Decided on the three most voted in Thoma's Headcanons poll)

Zhongli Headcanons - (Male Reader)

Aether Headcanons - (Male Reader)

Xiao Headcanons - (Male Reader)

Kaeya Headcanons - (Male Reader)

Alhaitham Headcanons - (Male Reader)

Warmth Pt. 2, Childe x Male Reader

Ayato x Male Reader

(Will be posted after Post 23, and will end after the event.)

Future Event Poll - This poll will let me know what events people are interested in seeing, and can affect what events I may do in the future. If you're interested in voting or giving suggestions for future events, feel free!

End Thoughts: i feel like i saw this as more of a work thing, not as a fun thing lol. thus i think i lacked the quality in writing, only quantity lmao

...A SPECIAL FOR REACHING THE END OF THIS 30-DAY EVENT??

maybe. ;D

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runwayrunway · 11 months

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No. 5 - jetBlue 2: Electric Bluegaloo

I am writing this post on the 15th of June, 2023.

I was going to publish one post tomorrow. It was going to be about a completely unrelated airline from a different country. I wrote it already. I have several other posts written already, because I like writing them, and they make me excited. I had a partially written post on jetBlue. It was going to be finished soon and uploaded after that. Just one in a sea of many things people have painted onto their airplanes.

I did not plan to discuss jetBlue tomorrow. I did not plan to finish my jetBlue post today. But they have forced my hand by announcing an overhaul of their 20-year-old livery at the most inconvenient possible time for me specifically, and I suppose I'm someone who reviews airline liveries now so I'm not just going to not talk about it.

Okay, let’s see. What they’ve been doing has worked for them for two decades, so I am very curious what they...

(image: jetblue)

Oh.

Huh. Not...sure what I expected. This is really taking a moment to sink in.

Well, okay. My immediate thought is ‘neat, they finally extended it past the tail’. My second thought is ‘thank goodness they're finally moving past their Eurowhite phase’. My third thought is...

Obviously they don’t have an exclusive right to this shade of blue, but does...does Southwest know about this? You two are probably the two biggest players in the low-cost market on the East Coast, should you be...being nearly the exact same shade of blue? Like, the rest of the liveries are obviously very different, you wouldn’t confuse them even from a distance, and I'm pretty sure jetBlue's is slightly lighter, but it just feels, viscerally, like someone’s nose gear is being run over a little bit.

Okay. No. We are forgetting about this. We literally just talked about not comparing beautiful blue girls to each other. They’re going to stall or soar on their own merits. Let’s take another look at N982JB “A Defining MoMint” (neé “One Mint, Two Mint, Blue Mint, You Mint”), who is patient zero for jetBlue’s new rebrand.

(image: jetblue)

There she is in all her eyestraining glory. I mean, there’s bright and then there’s hard to look at. jetBlue has, for some reason, decided to unleash a migraine machine onto airports across America and beyond.

jetBlue? I know you're reading this. Can we talk, jetBlue? There are a billion shades of blue you could have picked from for the main body.

(image: jetblue)

In fact, here are five of them from your own most recent tail design. And you chose the only one that is extremely painful to look at in large quantities. So, unfortunately, we’re taking off from the wrong runway. But let’s hear what you have to say for yourself, jetBlue.

I can only imagine how badly tumblr is going to crunch this, so here’s a direct link to the PDF jetBlue put out explaining their design choices.

Well, it’s definitely one of the bluest planes they’ve ever made. I think Blueprint might actually be bluer, but that’s a discussion for later. It’s a reasonably, maybe even unreasonably, blue plane, and I think we can all agree on that.

They’ve made a lot of changes that seem almost like direct responses to my earlier complaints. Robin N. Hayes, CEO of jetBlue Airlines, are you in my head reading my mind? If you are, I think I at least deserve a couple of scale models for all the advice I’ve given you. Come on. I’ll even proofread your website for you.

Sadly, I have yet to receive my rightly deserved 1:100 model of the jetBlue retrojet, but they’ve at least recognized that I’m correct about a lot of things. The all-white fuselage is boring and the tail designs need to be allowed to unfurl from their prison on the vertical stabilizer. I’m absolutely with them on that. I actually can’t say how I feel about this new ‘mint leaves’ tail pattern. I think that I don’t like it, but it’s very hard to tell because looking at this image for too long without my darkreader on genuinely hurts my eyes. I’m sure it’ll be fine in person, but I haven’t seen this livery in person. I’ve had all of a day to process this through my computer screen, and because of that I think I sort of really dislike it!

But I also can’t commit to that opinion because it’s been a day and a half and there’s so much we still don’t know. Well, I know that this is literally the worst shade of blue that there is, but my least favorite color is orange and I think there are plenty of decent looking orange planes out there. It’s not about the base color. It’s about what you do with it. And what will they do with it? It’s...not really clear.

The thing about this launch is that if Robin N. Hayes, CEO of jetBlue Airlines, can read my mind, I can’t read his. All I have is this PDF and a couple paragraphs of copy that really raise more questions than they answer. I'm just going to paste the important bit here.

Aptly named A Defining MoMint, the first plane to sport our new livery (our first-ever Mint pattern, coming soon to all Mint planes) is an Airbus A321 with Mint—which rolls into service on 6/15/23. Look for refreshed versions of our existing patterns to make their runway debuts as the rest of the fleet is repaint-ready.

This leaves so many questions unanswered. Is this for all Mint planes? That's not an insignificant portion of the fleet. Are all the planes currently wearing the ribbon and streamer tails going to wear this exact design, or will there be multiple Mint liveries? Will the ribbon and streamer tails be retired completely? They're pretty new, that seems a bit premature to me. What about the non-Mint planes? I assume the implication is that they're going to get patterns that extend onto their main fuselages as well, but are they going to also be repainted now or will there be a gradual rollout where it'll only be Mint planes for the time being? What is even going on? Seriously, does Southwest know? How did nobody notice the two massive typos on the liveries page of your website when you updated it with this new information? Ya blue it!

This is sending me into a bit of a tailspin. This redesign is everything I should want. It's spitting in the face of the design principles that I hate so much I started this blog. It's addressing some of my complaints. But I just don't...like to look at it?

I think what's bothering me here, when my eyes adjust somewhat to the sheer piercing brightness of it, is the overwhelming amount of stuff happening. When I do focus in I can see things that I like. For example, the tail pattern seems to be almost spreading onto the main fuselage rather than being isolated on a tail with its own background color. Some things I just can't entirely process. Like the PDF says they're using a new font but I can't really tell the difference between it and the old one. I guess it doesn't matter that much.

Anyway, I'm not done complaining. On the old livery, the engines were a dark color which contrasted with the light fuselage. This is pretty common. That's for a good reason. It creates such a weird visual effect when the engines and the fuselage are the same color. When you look at them from the side they look like they're merging. Also, despite them mentioning that they made the text in the front bigger to make the livery look less rear-heavy, and the fact that it's worked to some extent, it hasn't worked nearly enough. It would really behoove them to add something else to the front.

(I'm just saying, jetBlue...if you want to be America's Fun Airline, I don't think any defunct airlines have a trademark on painting cute little faces on your airplanes. Just keep that in the back of your mind.)

I ultimately just can't reconcile my thoughts on this. I keep repeating myself and I can't seem to convince myself to like this even though I really, really want to find some way to decide that yes, this is good, actually. This is an improvement. I can't. I can't convince myself. Maybe if I chew on it a bit longer. Maybe when they show off new tail patterns they'll all look better than this. Maybe it's just the mint green that's throwing me off and it'll all be okay. Maybe I'll wake up and a perfectly designed new jetBlue livery will be standing by the side of my bed, and I won't even mind that geometry forbids every part of that scenario, and she'll be beautiful and I will remember what it felt like to first learn that jetBlue has a plane named Blue's On First. Maybe. But right now it's the 15th of June and I'm feeling an emotion I can only imagine myself sharing with cosmic horror protagonists who have stumbled on some horrible secret that destroys the foundation which until mere moments ago undergirded their entire concept of reality. I don't know how to reconcile any of this.

jetBlue...how could you blue this to me?

Provisional* Grade: D(on't Blue That)+

(provisional because I'm being very dramatic but as I've said this is brand new fresh off the livery printer, Mint condition if you will, and I've barely had any time to process it so I'll definitely revisit it at some point. But probably not soon. I'm just about jetBlued out at the moMint.)

#tarmac fashion week #runwayrunway blueses it #grade: d+#region: north america #region: united states #era: 2020s #jetblue #low cost carriers #neelemanverse #southwest airlines

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lumieresdanslacave · 3 months

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Look, this blog is not dead!! Early february update. I realize I've drawn far less in 2023 than any other of the last 5 years. I haven't worked less, but i've worked more purposefully I guess? Like, there was the exhibition, and then end of the year I made my 2 first comics ever... I'm so happy about working as a collective, we've been so productive and we have many more projects going forward!! I think more and more the collective is more important than the individuals. But look. I miss something about the tiny minizine, something raw, self-contained, pure, obscure.... The bad thing about them, why I got bored, is my main problem of all time, I make piles and piles and piles of stuff and never look back at it, I lack vision or ambition, I'm like if a plant made drawings. There might be something to do with them, I don't know what yet, but hey two things Okay three things, maybe even four. -I found 3 minizines I never scanned and never posted, dating from january to april 2023. -I'm going to go back to schedueled posting for the next few weeks I think. -I will go back to post stuff on the go, as i'm making them, bc really I couldn't favor quality over quantity, ever! What an idea. -Okay maybe I'll start making minizines again. I don't know. Or something new. Or less often. But I feel I can't live without making them! -Should I reblog old stuff here? To make them resurface a little, forgotten drawings and stuf.. Many I like barely get seen, but as always there's so!! many! of them!! I'm a stupid hoarder ><

that's all thank you for reading thru! 😘remedios

#rant #ghost #pinned post #montage

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delfiore · 4 months

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a few words before the new year.

Hi everyone.

As 2024 is almost upon us, I would just like to thank every one of you for reading, interacting and making delfiore a wonderful place for myself but also for everyone else who enjoys the stuff I put out on here. Whether you've been here since the days of my Wanda Maximoff fics or you've just recently been following me for my WOSO fics, thank you for giving me stuff a read and liking it enough that you had considered following the blog.

2023 has been quite a year for me. I went through a lot of personal growth, in terms of my personal life as well as my professional life. I discovered things I liked, things I didn't like, things I thought I would like but then ended up not liking as much. Through all of it, I have writing fanfics and delfiore as my little safe haven where I can just forget about my life and the growing pains for a bit, and just have fun. I also have all of you to thank because—as much as people might say otherwise—being able to gain traction for my fics really keeps me going and motivates me to write more.

I will admit, at the beginning of this year, I did consider deleting this blog altogether. In the few months leading up to it, my writer's block was crazy and I felt like I didn't want to continue. But luckily, I stuck through it with time and decided otherwise. I knew that there would be something coming along that would motivate me again, and something did, but it happened with time.

I also feel like leaving it up to time is also a common theme on this blog, as it is my personal belief that everything will be okay with time. That's why I don't force myself to post on a schedule or doing requests because I only want to post what I'm proud of instead of making it about quantity.

The name of this blog itself, delfiore, is also a reflection of this idea. It comes from the Santa Maria del Fiore Cathedral in Florence, Italy. I had just finished watching the show Medici when I picked this name. Construction for the base of the cathedral began in 1296 and didn't finish until 1418—that's over a century of building! Then the cathedral sat domeless for another two years until a certain Filippo Brunelleschi came along and drew up the plan to construct the dome (Duomo). Even then, the technology to erect such a structure was limited, and Brunelleschi had to pioneer ways to bring the bricks up top and lay them in a way so they wouldn't just collapse. It took 16 years alone to build the Duomo, but they did it. With time.

So if there's anything I want you to take away from this loooooong post is that everything will pass with time. So don't worry your little heads, because one day, it will be okay. As the new year approaches, think about that, just to give yourself a bit of peace of mind.

I will not bore you anymore. Thank you for reading, more fics to come and see you in 2024!

Special shoutout to @rednoexiste, my little homie rat who PMed me because they liked a fic of mine two years ago, and now we send each other tiktoks every day.

-L, delfiore.

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can-i-see-your-passport-please · 1 year

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SWEET VOICE COLOR HEADCANONS BECAUSE I'M NORMAL AND FINE

Now, I think that Sweet Voice... can't FULLY be encapsulated in English. The colors do mean general emotions, yes, but also different shades of one color can mean different things, and most importantly, every bubble of Sweet Voice is a thought. You can't just generalize a stream of consciousness into a rhyme without cutting out a lot.

Tommy's rhymes work, but they aren't the whole story. What EXACTLY Benrey's trying to communicate depends a LOT on context, and relying PURELY on the rhymes can mean a lot is lost in translation. This can also be at least confusing when it comes to a color like orange, which is notoriously hard to rhyme, but can be very important to communicate.

However: once again, colors mean specific emotions, and remembering combinations through rhymes can be helpful, and also it's just easier. Context matters, of course, and relying completely on the rhymes can be very unhelpful, but... it's like knowing that a recipe needs specific ingredients. Like, a cake generally needs sugar, flour, eggs, and baking soda/powder. Specific quantities may vary, and there may be more or less of an ingredient, new stuff may be added, some may be removed. And of course, what KIND of cake you're baking can change the ingredients a lot. But knowing the base of what a cake needs can be helpful.

I'm not completely sure if this metaphor is getting what I mean across. What I mean is: knowing the base emotion behind a color can be helpful, though it won't get the exact stream of consciousness across. A translator can elaborate on the thoughts in each bubble (with permission of the SV user), but generally knowing the colors and what they mean is helpful. But again - context matters.

With that being said...

THE WHOLE PRIDE FLAG

Red - Fear and danger. Often used as a warning, like a caution sign. Light shades of red can mean just nervousness, but vibrant red is a sign of fear. Tastes like medicine and caffeine.

Orange - Pain. The pain can be mental or physical, but no matter what the type, orange means pain. If the SV user is singing in orange, it's a sign they need some kind of support. The taste is hard to figure out, because it burns like acid. Best guess of any taste is blood.

Yellow - Guilt and self-hatred. While orange can be used for physical or mental pain, you still need to guess which one, and the singer can easily lie about which kind of pain it is. Yellow sidesteps that. If you see yellow, the SV user is in mental distress and needs comfort. Tastes like mango.

Edit (12/04/2023): I'm changing yellow to something different! I'm a better writer now, and have a better definition that can be used more.

Yellow - Power. It can be the type of power that corrupts you, that tears you apart from the inside out. But power is not exclusively bad. It can and must be used, dare I say it, responsibly. To protect, to support, to help others and make their lives easier. Tastes like salmon.

Green - Safety and reassurance. Used as a white flag, or a way to reassure someone that they're not going to get hurt. Can also be used as a sign of feeling safe and happy in your surroundings. Tastes like chocolate.

Blue - Thoughts and relaxation. An indication that the person is thinking about something, turning it over in their head. One of the most common colors used. Lots of blue usually means the person is thinking very deeply. Tastes like blue raspberry. Blue is a bit of a unique one in the bunch, as it can actually affect one's body. All Sweet Voice can do that, to an extent- being hit with red makes you feel some of the fear they do, and orange makes you feel a smidge of the pain they feel- but blue is the most effective at this. Being hit with blue will make your muscles relax, and usually helps your thoughts calm down as well. It can sometimes even dull pain (though not healing it).

Teal - Healing and recovery. Closely related to blue- teal can affect the body quite strongly when combined with black or green, and helping someone relax is helping them recover, in a way. However, they ARE different. While blue is most effective at calming someone down by itself, teal is most effective when combined with another color. Tastes like mint.

Teal and green (heal beam) will usually help speed up a healing process, helping cuts stitch themselves back together, bruises fade, broken bones heal. There are limitations, of course. Heal beam speeds up a healing process to help you recover, and can't help you, say, regrow limbs. Using heal beam consumes energy as well (it's one thing to just use Sweet Voice, it's another to use its power to heal someone.)

Purple - Joy and blissfulness. A sense of peace and happiness with the world, with oneself, even just with the moment. Lighter shades of purple usually mean more energetic happiness, while darker shades usually mean more calm, sleepy peace. Tastes like ice cream.

Pink - Love. Platonic, familial, romantic, pink means love. Different shades of pink can mean different kinds of love, but as there are basically infinite types of love, you cannot nail down specific shades to mean specific types of love. It's fluid. Indescribable delicious taste. [He tends to use this when trying to protect someone - literally surrounding them in his love to keep them safe. He uses this a lot around the team especially.]

OTHER COLORS

White - Numbness. When you feel everything so much that your brain just shuts down, and you can't feel anything at all except lethargy. (Based on the fact that if you put all light colors together, it just makes white.) Tastes like TV static.

Grey - Confusion. Sometimes used as a quick way to ask a question, sometimes used as a quick way to say you don't understand. There is symbolism here. Tastes like noodles.

Black - Anger. Tastes like pen ink. Unpleasant. The most pure anger is completely black, like a void. [Usually, Benrey's anger is playful. Not serious, joking around, silly. When he's pouting, getting overly annoyed about something, whining like a child... It's not genuine anger. And if it seems like he's angry and he's yelling, it's most likely an expression of something else. Benrey's genuine anger is quiet. Silently stewing in the corner, completely quiet, ink-black Sweet Voice leaking out of his mouth. You can swear his shadow is shifting and changing, despite how still his body is. He's not screaming and whining, he's completely silent. His gaze is fixed at a single point. And when he lets that anger out... It is never pretty.]

Brown - Negative emotion in general. Sometimes you're feeling so much negative emotion that you can't just place one label on it all. It's so much hurt that your mind feels muddy. Brown often comes mixed in with other colors meaning negative emotions, but often it can exist by itself. Tastes... confusing.

Rainbow - Basically the equivalent of your brain breaking. Not to be mixed up with confusion- this is more like when you try to say something, but jumble your words together, or when you're feeling so many things at once that no one color combo works. Tastes like everything.

WEIRD LITTLE FACTS AND OBSERVATIONS

Warm and monochrome shades tend to be more negative emotions (with the exception of grey and yellow, but again, context matters), while cooler shades tend to be more positive emotions.

The more vibrant a color, the stronger the emotion. For example, vibrant pale purple usually translates to strong excitement, and vibrant pink translates to deep love. And the duller a color, the weaker the emotion. Going back to purple, dull purple usually means something along the lines of "oh that's cool."

You cannot lie through Sweet Voice. You can lie about what the colors mean, and you can suppress what thoughts are shown, but that doesn't mean the thoughts aren't there. It just means they're quieter. Sweet Voice is pure thought and emotion. It's laying bare your current mindstate, hiding that is hard. The only way to for sure not show someone specific thoughts is through not using Sweet Voice, which is very hard. The safest way to do that is holding back the Sweet Voice until you can let it all out later (which has a high chance of failure with all the Sweet Voice coming out all at once). The most effective way to do that is physically swallowing the Sweet Voice back, which is usually painful.

I cannot stress this enough: SWEET VOICE IS PURE THOUGHT AND EMOTION. Every bubble of Sweet Voice is at least one thought, and depending on how stuffed your mind is, it can be several thoughts. Sometimes it's one thought, repeated in several bubbles. The point is: the color is the emotion, the bubbles are the thoughts.

Sweet Voice is generally used for quick communication of certain things. For example: say you and your gang can all use Sweet Voice, and you're currently separated. From farther away, you hear someone use Sweet Voice. You turn, and see one of your friends is using red. Your group quickly races over, and they explain the danger. Or say someone is trying to explain an idea, but can't figure out how to put it into words, so instead they use Sweet Voice, and you can read their thought process. That is the biggest evolutionary purpose of Sweet Voice.

Learning Sweet Voice is INCREDIBLY difficult, but possible. It's basically a second language, except you're on nightmare mode. After all, learning how to read Sweet Voice is learning how to read someone's thoughts, their emotions, basically their soul. Which is not easy. However, learning Sweet Voice is not impossible. It just takes a fuckload of time.

You can't learn how to SPEAK Sweet Voice. It comes from a gland in the back of your throat that humans don't have, and you can't just put that in the back of your throat or use magic alien hormones to grow it. If you tried to take alien HRT you would probably die lol

If you just took audio of Sweet Voice, you wouldn't be able to translate the exact thoughts. However, if you took video with NO audio of Sweet Voice, you still wouldn't be able to translate it. Translation relies on both audio and visuals, unless you are ABSURDLY fluent.

This is ABSOLUTELY not consistent throughout my art and writing, however I do not have the energy to care. Also Tumblr is so mean for not having a different shade of blue

EDIT (12/04/2023): I HAVE MORE BITCH I HAVE COLOR ASSOCIATIONS WITH THE SCIENCE TEAM

I don't associate Darnold with orange and feel he shoulda been red, and so red he is- red is the color of fear, the color used to signal danger. And Darnold is the most cautious, the only one to take the VERY FUCKING REASONABLE fear of the Rescas and military, and chose to just fucking leave! And fucking good for him!!

Bubby is associated with teal, the color of healing. Bubby would definitely be REALLY FUCKED UP after getting out of his tube and getting out of Black Mesa as a whole. He would be going from constant supervision and inability to leave a confined space, to freedom to move around Black Mesa but still constant supervision and inability to leave, to total freedom and no oversight from Black Mesa. Bubby would need to heal really fucking bad after all of that!! Healing and growing and becoming better is a necessity for him, and has been since he was freed from his GOD DAMN TUBE

Tommy is associated with yellow, the color of power (and the main reason i changed yellow). Tommy is one of the most powerful of the team, able to overpower and gun down 300 clones on his own, while also keeping Gordon alive. Depending on your interpretation, he's at least a little nonhuman, being either related to or adopted by FUCKING GMAN. In my mind, he is a representation of the good power can do, while at least in canon not having yet gained control over it (see: this is all instinct mr freeman i'm scared).

Benrey is associated with blue, the color of thoughts and relaxation. And my reasoning for this is fairly simple! Benrey's a chill guy, just wants to play games with his friends. But in my beautiful world, he's jam-packed with so many thoughts (except when he thinks nothing). Benrey's a chill dude who likes chilling, who's also got a buncha thoughts in his silly brain.

Coomer is associated with green, the color of safety. And this does work well for him! Dr Coomer is, at the end of the day, a safe person to be around. He does try to help, even though his AI is SEVERELY bugged out. The clone fight is an exception to this (and there, his text was surrounded by red, color of fear, my god the symbolsim), but even after THAT, he still did move to try and help Gordon, reassuring him that he was safe, and wouldn't hurt him ("Don't let my bloody form frighten you, Gordon. It's me, your friend, Dr Coomer!"). Coomer is a chaotic person, yes, but at the end of the day, he's a safe person. One of these days I will write an essay on how those little moments of kindness in HLVRAI and them so good I'm normal

(Additionally for all the old man yaoi fans: green is safety and teal is healing. Boomer colors are literally safety and healing)

Gordon is a bit of a complicated case. I associate him with orange during and before the Rescas, but purple after it, after he starts healing. And I have good reason for this: orange is associated with pain, and purple with happiness. And during the Rescas (arguably beforehand too), Gordon was constantly in some form of pain. Even putting aside the physical pain of being in The Worst Suit Ever, he was under the stress of trying to keep himself and all his teammates alive. That is PAINFUL.

But (HL2VRAI HAS NOT COME OUT AT TIME OF WRITING AND I AM IGNORING ITS EXISTENCE) as time went on after the rescas... Gordon healed. He got better. He becomes a more self-actualized person, becomes happier with himself. He gets out of the Rescas alive, and heals from it after all the bullshit, with the help of the friends he made along the way who love him so, so, so much.

Which brings me to something else- I associate the Science Team all with specific colors, yes. But as a whole, I associate them all with one color: pink. The Science Team is, at the end of the day, built on love. They all love each other so, so much.

It's shown in how Gordon constantly worries about them all and tries to protect them, keeping them out of the way of danger, letting Coomer use the HEV charger before him. (Hell, even with Benrey, who he despises, he worries about him constantly. He yells for him to not run into danger, and is clearly INFURIATED when Forzen kills him.)

It's shown in how Darnold, someone who clearly doesn't really like Gordon all that much, still moved to help him, to give him back his arm and keep him alive, even when he clearly found Gordon at least somewhat irritating.

It's shown in how Dr Coomer, a minute after trying to murder Gordon in a desperate attempt to be free of the game, upon seeing just how much distress he was in, moved to reassure him: I won't hurt you. I am your friend.

It's shown in how Bubby, after everything, helped Gordon after they reunited (and didn't throw Benrey under the bus for the things that happened).

It's shown in how Benrey clearly loves Gordon in some way, and how he tells the skeletons to not hurt Tommy, and sings pink at Tommy when he first sees him.

It's shown in how Tommy, in an attempt to comfort Gordon after the nightmare that just happened, offered him a soda.

The Science Team is built on love.

#hlvrai #black mesa sweet voice #sweet voice #cassie rambles #🛂can i see your passport? please [benrey freeman]#🧪delete that. delete that right fuckin now. [darnold pepper]#🚀a girl never kisses and tells! [dr bubby]#🧃slower than molasses drips off a spoon! [tommy coolatta]#🥊look gordon! ropes! [dr coomer]#🔫I’M GOING FUCKING NUTS [gordon freeman]

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