#but that means I'm comfortable fucking it up because i didn't waste money on good stuff just to practice with

[rindemption]

I've been wanting to pick up fiber crafts for a while, y'know, the dopamine from making something by hand. I got myself some cheap knitting needles and yarn and I'm finally learning to knit :FireElmo: I refuse to show it because it's so bad, but I did it! Only a few rows, but I got the basics down

#i plan on picking up crocheting too but i haven't stumbled across a hook yet #I'm not going out of my way to get supplies this early in the game #the needles are plastic and from the dollar store and the yarn i was gifted years ago #none of it's good enough to actually make clothes or anything out of #but that means I'm comfortable fucking it up because i didn't waste money on good stuff just to practice with

[steddieas-shegoes]

oh love, i'm terrified

for @steddielovemonth prompt 'love is terrifying'

rated t | 1,585 words | cw: negative self views | tags: falling in love, getting together, love confessions, sappy and fluffy

💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗

He thought he was being obvious.

He doesn't do this stuff for everyone else. He doesn't show up after work to hang out for no reason other than just wanting to be around the other person. He doesn't talk on the phone for three hours in the middle of the night to comfort the other person after nightmares. He doesn't fucking stargaze with anyone.

But with Eddie he does. Steve always goes out of his way for Eddie.

He knows why, and he feels like everyone can see it too: he loves him.

But somehow, Eddie doesn't see it, or chooses not to.

Even Dustin, oblivious to human emotion as anyone else Steve's ever met, pulled him aside after Hellfire one night --yes, he even attends Hellfire now-- to ask if he knew he was flirting with Eddie so much.

Robin and Nancy had called him out on two different occasions for touching him too much in public, but he hadn't even realized his hand had gone to his waist!

And Eddie still seemed clueless.

Or at least, most of the time he seemed clueless.

Sometimes, though, Steve could swear he looked at him in a specific way, a way that Steve would think is understanding and maybe even returned feelings. But he never said anything, never did anything out of the ordinary for Eddie.

Months of wondering what the hell he could do differently, months of being less and less subtle every day, months of showing how much he loved him without actually saying it.

All for Eddie to still be oblivious.

But not tonight,

Tonight, he was going to Eddie's to have dinner and watch a movie. Wayne was on a fishing trip with his buddies from work, and all the kids were at the same summer camp, probably torturing underpaid teenage counselors.

No interruptions were possible.

He could bring out all his moves, and if Eddie still didn't get it by the end of the night, maybe he could even use his words.

"Dinner's almost ready!" Eddie yelled from the kitchen as Steve let himself in. "I didn't burn anything!"

Steve rolled his eyes fondly. "Sounds like something someone who burnt dinner would say."

"I didn't! I mean one edge is a little crispy on the lasagna, but I think that's because our oven is older than Wayne. You think the government could've given us a better oven for my troubles, but apparently not," Eddie turned to Steve standing in the doorway. "You look...nice."

Steve always liked to look nice, but he'd decided to dress up a little bit tonight, try to make his intentions clear right from the start. His hair was done as usual, but he was wearing his khaki slacks instead of jeans and his nicest navy polo instead of the t-shirts he'd mostly been wearing outside of work. He even sprung for his watch that his dad gave him as a graduation gift. He hated to know how much money was wasted on it, but it did look nice.

"Thanks. You do too," Steve replied.

Eddie looked down at his own clothes and back up at Steve. "Dude, I'm wearing sweats and a t-shirt that has more holes than cloth. You don't have to lie."

"I'm not lying. You always look best when you're comfy," Steve shrugged. "Need help with anything?"

Eddie shook his head. "Not unless you wanna grab beers from the fridge. I forgot to get some this afternoon so they're just Wayne's PBRs, but a cold beer's a good beer, right?"

"Right," Steve agreed, walking to the fridge to grab the beers.

Dinner went as dinner usually does, except they actually sat at the table this time instead of the couch. Eddie seemed surprised when Steve set his things down in front of the chair he only sat in to keep Eddie company while he planned for campaigns, but just silently joined him.

They talked and joked, they made themselves laugh so hard beer almost came out of Eddie's nose. It was perfect.

After, Steve started working on the dishes, Eddie standing by the counter watching.

He was quiet, which was unusual, especially when no one else was around to fill the silence.

"Everything okay, Eds?" Steve asked as he scrubbed a particularly difficult area on a fork.

"What? Oh. Yeah."

Steve turned to look at him, suddenly worried when he saw Eddie's face turned down to the floor. This wasn't them. They'd just had a nice dinner, and now Eddie was being...shy?

Now was his chance. He could say it. Robin would be proud of him for finally just doing it.

Hell, he'd be proud of himself for doing it.

But something seemed wrong, and the last thing Steve wanted was to turn a good night bad because he couldn't reign in his feelings for a bit.

He wiped his hands on the towel by the sink and turned fully towards Eddie.

"What's wrong?"

Eddie shook his head once, then sighed. "I kind of feel like I've been wined and dined tonight. And that's ridiculous because you're just one of my best friends, and you're straight, and it's all been in my head for months, but-"

"Woah. Wait." Steve interrupted. "You've been noticing that for months? And you didn't say anything?"

"Well, no. I didn't wanna ruin our friendship because I can't handle my own hopes getting up." Eddie leaned away from Steve further. "I know you don't mean it that way. I don't want you to change anything."

"Eds-"

"And if you do want to, that's fine! Whatever would make you comfortable. I just have to say it's feeling very 'I have romantic feelings' for you territory and I know you don't so."

"Eddie."

"I'm also not good at that though. No one's ever shown interest in me other than one girl in high school who ended up moving away a week later so I didn't even have to break her heart."

Steve crashed his lips to Eddie's, half hoping it would shut him up, and half hoping he would somehow keep rambling. He kind of loved watching him ramble.

It did shut him up. Even when Steve pulled away, Eddie's silence was deafening.

"Sorry. I should've asked if I could first, but I don't think you would have even heard me. Was that okay?" Steve asked.

"Why did you do that?" Eddie sounded heartbroken.

That's not what Steve wanted at all.

"I wanted to. I have wanted to."

"No you don't."

This was not going the way Steve had hoped for. "How would you know I don't?"

"Because I'm me! I'm just the dude who gets the good weed, and says funny shit, and cooks dinner sometimes. I'm not a girl Steve Harrington falls in love with, or even takes on a date. I'm not the type you build a relationship and future with. I'm just the guy who gets to watch everyone else do that. I'm not good for that."

"What the hell do you mean?" Steve was angry now. Who had convinced Eddie he couldn't have good things, couldn't be loved or love someone, couldn't be important? "You're Eddie Munson. You saved us all from an evil wizard dude and nearly died doing it. You're the guy who makes me a sandwich when I come over for Hellfire even though there's strict no eating during the campaign rules because you know I've been working all day and need to eat. You turn all my bad days good, and make my life better just because you're you."

"Steve-"

"My turn." Steve crowded him against the counter, hands cupping his cheeks and eyes boring into Eddie's. "I need you to understand something. I've been trying to show how much I care about you, how much I love you, for months, and I've been thinking I've just been terrible at it. I thought I truly did lose all my charm. I've been pulling all my moves out for you. I was starting to think maybe you just were trying to ignore it all to let me down easy, but it isn't that. It's because you don't see how fucking amazing you are, isn't it?"

Eddie's eyes were shining with unshed tears.

"Because you are. You're incredible. Maybe the best person I've ever known other than Robin. I find excuses to be near you. I find reasons to talk to you. I didn't even have a nightmare the other night, I just wanted to hear your voice. I'm in love with you. Like, the real stupid, do anything for you even if it hurts me kind. And if you don't feel anything for me besides friendship, I'll leave right now and I'll do my best to get over it so we can be friends."

"And if I do?"

"If you do love me, then you should kiss me."

"I've never kissed anyone."

"That's not true. We kissed two minutes ago," Steve smirked, his heart racing in his chest.

"I'm scared," Eddie's whispered admittance nearly broke Steve's heart.

"Oh love, I'm terrified. Love is like that. But we've faced scarier things, haven't we?"

Eddie's soft lips against his own was the only answer he needed.

Love was terrifying, even for Steve, maybe especially for Steve, who was used to giving a lot more love than he received back. But as they kissed in Eddie's kitchen for seconds that turned to minutes, minutes that turned to hours, they got just a bit less scared.

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #steddielovemonth #love is terrifying #falling in love #getting together #love confessions #idiots in love

[berrieluv]

cw. squirting, fingering, kitchen sex, unrequited feelings, a bit of angst?, dom remus, remus is a sweetheart.

doctor!Remus Lupin x fem!Reader summary: Remus is hot, and tall and unbelievable good at sex. The fact that he's a pediatrician is just a plus.

Remus Lupin was tall and handsome, his light brown curls falling against his forehead every time he thrusted inside of you.

"Fuck..." You moaned. He was so unbelievable hot. "Oh, God" Remus took your cheeks with his hand and forced you to look at him, with that smirk of his that let you know he was looking for trouble.

"Yeah? This good, baby?" But he knew he didn't even need to ask, because the lewd sounds your pussy made every time he fucked you was enough, you wanted to think no one has ever been this wet before so he would think twice before letting you go "You can't talk, bunny? Did I fucked you dumb?"

"Fuck, you'resohot"

You moaned as fast as you could articulate the words. Remus just laughed at you and kept his movements, throwing himself next to you when your pussy was already full.

"I love filling you up, bunny"

And you smiled stupidly "Never have to worry about using condoms with me..." You stood up with your arm, looking at his dreamy face with his eyes closed "I just love to be filled up"

He smiles and takes a deep breath; "You're the best" He says while standing up from your comfortable bed, leaving you all whinny and pouty "I have to go. I'm late for work" He kisses your forehead and you loose yourself in your mind for a moment, because if this is just sex, why would he share such an intimate kiss with you.

Yeah, a forehead kiss was way more intimate than sex. You could have sex with anyone, it didn't mean anything, sex was just a way to fee our passion. But a forehead kiss, it was a sign of protection and love, it was a way to keep the words inside your mouth while saying at the same time: "I care about you". So why would he kiss you and then just call you only for sex "I'll be back later, that good?" You nod "Or you could go to my apartment. Whatever suits you best"

You nod again and he smiles, this time kissing your lips and finally walking away. He couldn't love you, not like you do love him at least.

It was easy to have sex at Remus' apartment. He would never kick you out, he was too much of a gentleman for that, and if he was in a rush to go at least he would invite you to have breakfast somewhere near where he worked.

You didn't know where it was, what he does, you just know every time he takes you out for food is near the place he works. Then he gives you money for an Uber because is just faster than him taking you all the way there.

And it wasn't like you two were in a relationship either. Lately he allowed you to stay at his place, you thought it was another way of intimacy as well, the soft lip kisses, the forehead kisses and the fact that the receptionist from his building knew you were allow to have the spare key.

So when you say; Sex at Remus' is better. What you really mean is, kitchen sex, bathroom sex, couch sex, hell, even the balcony sex was amazing. Things you couldn't do with roommates but you could definitely do at his apartment.

You wasted no time on taking your clothes off as soon as you heard the door being open, you walked to the kitchen, because well, you felt like doing it on the kitchen.

Remus looks at you once he's finally in and hugs you.

A hug? What were you, a couple? You wish.

"Hi, angel"

He says, and before you could respond he turns your body around so your ass could be against his growing erection. His hands start to work their way through your pussy and his other hand goes straight to your boobs. Because of course they will.

"How was work?"

You ask, knowing there was not going to be an answer. Because Remus and you don't have that kind of relationship. Instead he shushes you with a passionate kiss, leaning you over the kitchen counter and you think a little about how beautiful and clean his kitchen is, you could see yourself living here, really.

Being his pretty housewife, you would even wear an apron with no other clothes above. Yeah, that's exactly the life you picture yourself living, and it didn't seem bad for a bit.

A spank brings you back to reality and Remus takes your leg, you really don't know when he took his trousers off but he was working his way into your already wet pussy.

"You seem a bit distracted..." He comments after starting to move his hips, you respond with a moan, holding yourself to the counter, starting to beg for him to go faster "Just like that, angel. That's how I like my girl, all loud and messy"

He's just thrusting inside of you, you know that, but he holds your hips in such a way that you need to establish yourself. Anyone could do that but, God, not anyone could make it feel like Remus does.

"You wanna say something, baby?" He asks when you start to moan louder. Remus also loved sex at his place, because you were loud and shameless.

Your boobs were jumping against the counter while Remus hand lied now on your back, forcing your cheek against the cold marble.

His thrusts were faster and he had both of your hands against your back held with one of his hands while the other one was trying to make you wetter, as if that was even possible.

You don't even try to think anymore, anything Remus' wanted he would force your body to do, allowing you to just relax and enjoy the pleasure.

"Can you cum for me, pretty girl?" You moan "Can you, angel? My angel?" He mocks.

Every one of his thrusts made your mind simply blow as he fucked you. He freed your hands wasting no time on holding your body up, your back against his chest, angrily taking your face and forcing you to look at him.

"You just look so pretty" He says, smiling "I just need one kiss" And your eyes are glossy from the pleasure and your mind can't catch orders but it doesn't matter. Remus takes your face so your lips can impact against his "Ow, my pretty girl. I know you're long gone. That's fine, I'll take care of you. Just cum for me, alright?" His pace became sloppier and lazy as he felt his orgasm building "What has gotten into you, hum? I usually take a few more out of you before you're like this"

Remus only allowed himself to really groan only when he emptied his load inside of your wet pussy, filling you way more in one orgasm that many of your ex-lovers.

The good thing about Remus is that he may finish first, but he always makes you have the best time. There was two ways it could go, he obliged himself to last long, or he would succumb to his needs, either way he never let you down that easily.

He could go for hours if he wanted, and in your short sex-relationship you've done it against any surface belonging to his home, he made you cum multiple times and he made sure you could see the moon and the starts before cleaning you up to a good sleep.

However, Remus doesn't want to push you too far today, seeing the sensitive space you were now, crying every time he tried to stop this to check on you, poor boy, he was so worried. He didn't know you only wanted to please him.

Remus pulls out of you quickly, and before you could complain his fingers are filling your cum loaded pussy up. He makes you scream with the ferocity he moves them in and out of you, hitting all the right spots, making your back arch against his chest, and if it wasn't for his strong hand holding you, you would've collapsed against the floor.

You moan, loudly and shamelessly, just how Remus liked it. Your head falls into his shoulder and you look exhausted, but Remus can't let you go like this, not without an orgasm at least.

"Remus, Remus please stop, stop that's too much, too much" Your pleads don't seem to make much to him while his lips kiss your temple. "Please, please"

But; please, what?

"You can do it, angel" He says.

You feel a bit dizzy as the pleasure hugs your body completely, forgetting you're still on earth, on Remus' kitchen to be exact. It's an overwhelming sensation it doesn't even feel real but you don't want to stop it, neither do you have the energy to do so.

You feel Remus smirking against your scalp after chuckling at, you? You find the reminds of your energy and autonomy to force your eyes open. You feel Remus' cock hard again against your lower back. The fingers that were once inside you are now in front of your sight, and you open your mouth, hearing Remus' praise as you lick his long, thick fingers.

"That's the hottest thing I've ever done" He says, kissing your head again "You are the hottest thing I've done" He chuckles.

"What?" you mumble against his fingers. Tiredly leaning against Remus, knowing you didn't had it in you to stand.

"The squirt, angel" He pouts, mocking your expression "You didn't notice?" No? Well, you felt wetter than other times once you reached your orgasm, but you would have known. You lazily direct your eyes to the floor, watching the soaked drawers and the white floor shining more than it usually does.

"I soaked your kitchen" You pout and Remus does too, smiling a seconds later at you.

"Yeah, we'll get them change, angel. Don't worry" Who's we "You didn't realized you squirted?" You frown, not at the last question but who the fuck was we? "Guess I'll have to do it again, hun? But tonight it's time for a shower"

A shower sounded good, you wanted lots of showers at Remus place. You wanted Remus bed, you wanted your toothbrush next to him and his half-empty cabinets full of your stuff.

By the time you woke up Remus wasn't there. As usual since he got confident enough to let you alone at his apartment. You knew he kissed you goodbye, you felt it like a fever dream all the time, a sensation enough to be felt but not strong enough to wake you up to reality.

You saw Remus' wallet in the bed-side table, personally, you knew better than check it and try to return it to him, at his job, where he doesn't want you. But again, you were delusional, and wouldn't a girlfriend do that job? You had sex with him, you were just one step far from being.

"A pediatrician" You say as soon as you see his card "You have to be fucking kidding me"

Because not only Remus Lupin was tall, handsome, with a stable economy to start a family or take care of the house for you to live comfortable enough, incredible good at sex, he was also good with kids.

And you could've live it there, you found out something, doesn't mean you have to see it with your own eyes.

That's why you were definitely not walking to his job. And by the time you could think better of it you were already knocking on the yellow door with a silver plate scripted with "Dr. Lupin".

"Hey, Y/N?" He says as soon as he sees your small figure – but compared to him who wouldn't be –. "What are you doing here?"

"You forgot your wallet" You say, extending the leather square to him, and he smiled softly.

"Thank you, Y/N"

You couldn't help but feel disappointment, because alone you were never Y/N. You were his angel, his pretty girl, his baby. And now you were just, ugh, you never hated your name more.

"Um, this is... your job. Cool, cool, cool"

"It's just a job" He chuckles "I don't want you to feel different about anything, alright?" He again kisses your forehead "See you tonight?"

"Yeah, sure" You quickly answer "I was thinking maybe we could... You know, go out?"

"Sure, go out"

"Like, like in a date" You dig deeper into your words "Like people who, you know, like each other?"

"Oh, Y/N" He says. And he says it with such pity you want to cry and disappear and erase this moment from your memory. "I don't like relationships. They're not my thing. I told you this"

He did "Yes, but..." I just thought I could make you change your mind. But you don't say that "But I like you, I thought it would be fun"

Fun? You thought it would be amazing, you thought it would be Cornelia Street except it would just be the place he'll take you out for dinner. You thought it would be Begin Again but this was The Story of Us and Happiness all over again in your love life.

"Sorry"

You bite your lip trying to hold the tears and nod. Excusing yourself from his consulting room and walking the worst walk of shame, trying to hide your face from literal toddlers and their moms.

Already planning in your mind how you would drown yourself in misery. And how you would get the strength to ignore Remus' calls, if he calls.

Trying to scape Remus was really similar to that movie, Mission Impossible, the one with Tom Cruise. Because who would tell that getting sexually involve with someone who's not directly in your friend group, but knows many of your friends, would be a bad idea?

Definitely no one.

"Y/N?"

You panic when you hear that velvet voice, so calm and with just the right amount of happiness he always sounds. You look at him, completely frozen and your legs start walking the opposite direction without you realizing it.

Marlene stops you the moment he sees you, watching Remus walk to you and you escaping like a little kid would do when they did something bad.

"What's wrong?"

You push her into the closet and nock the two of you inside, shushing her the moment she opens her mouth and the blonde woman can't be any more confused and regretting her life, because she didn't want to ever, ever, get involved with Remus romantic life, and here she was.

"Y/N? Listen, I know you're here. I'm sorry, right? I'm only here because I knew you would be here. This is totally not my thing..."

"He's lying" Marlene says, a playful grin on her face "Men are such liars, angel. Don't listen to him"

You frown at the pet-name and look at the door.

"Hi, Marlene" He says.

"Hi, Remus"

"Y/N?" you pout and look at your friend. She just shrugs and begs for you to let her go, and you finally open the door to see Remus handsome face, his hair messy for a doctor and his face recently shaved.

"Don't do this, Remus" You plead, watching as Marlene walks away with a thumbs up not sure if it's for him or you. "You can't come back now thinking i will be just waiting for you, you know?"

"No, I really want to be with you" He chuckles but your lower lip jolts.

"I don't want to be your sex toy, Remus" in a really low voice, and if he wasn't so obsessed with you he would never hear it "I'm sorry, it's late"

"Well, I had to try at least" He smiles and walks closer to you, kissing your forehead "I'm really sorry it took me so long to realize that I... like you too"

"Don't do that. You're trying to play with my head" You say, getting defensive of the kicked puppy look he was giving you "Well, you need to fuck me first for you to accomplish that"

This time you say it loud, and the whole party seemed to stay silent for that bit, Remus felt his cheeks turning pink, and he didn't know why, clearly he was the one who fucked the most among his friends.

He was in med school, for God sakes. You don't make it out of there sane without tons of sex.

"Angel, can we talk in private?"

"No" You yell in a low voice "No, Remus, we can't. And you can't call me that either. What am I supposed to think? That out of nowhere you want a serious relationship now? With me? That you want to make it work?"

Remus feels the need to stop your verbal vomit with a kiss, and he does, because it feels like the right time, the building up to a big romantic moment the girls always want. But not in the context where you were standing.

A kiss like that felt sexual. It didn't feel intimate and tender as a forehead kiss, it felt desperate, hungry, he wanted your body more than he wanted you.

"Please, leave me alone"

You murmur, pushing him away from you and trying to walk out of his sight but you can't, your heart doesn't allow it, you want to be with him. He broke your heart so this shouldn't be this hard but it was.

He stood there, not moving, just waiting for you to do something, not wanting to leave you alone but also wanting to respect your space, and your wishes.

You look at him in defeat, crossing your arms and he smiles. Your legs make their way to him again and you stand in front of him, impossibly tall, impossibly handsome, just him.

"You like me?" He nods, not sure of what to say "Like really, really like me?"

"I'm utterly obsessed with you"

"Then kiss me"

You murmur, and he's not sure if he should because the last one ended with you mad at him but you were there, looking so pretty, shiny eyes due to the tears and the lights of the party giving you a different aura from the one he always sees you under. He takes your face and kisses your lips, it's the same kiss as the last one but he doesn't feel sure. He feels scared that he may ruin this and that you would run away from him and that somehow makes you feel sure of your choice.

Remus lets you rest your head on his chest and you turn your face to look at him, he smiles and kisses your forehead while hugging you even harder right now than he usually does after sex.

"Thank you?" You chuckle and you nod, making fun of him for the first time "Don't laugh at me, you little vicious angel"

#remus lupin fanfic #remus lupin imagine #remus lupin fanfiction #remus lupin smut #remus lupin x reader #remus x reader #remus x you #remus lupin x y/n #the marauders imagine #the marauders fic #the marauders fanfiction #the marauders smut #the marauders x you #the marauders x reader

[qqueenofhades]

as a starting history major i wanna ask how do you read/evaluate academic history papers/books? i'm trying to avoid just blindly agreeing with whatever the author is writing because it seems correct. how can you tell what is good scholarship and what is more shaky?

This is a great question for you as a freshman history major to ask (many of my toiling colleagues and I can attest that we wish more of you would!) and shows that you're already taking initiative and investment in your studies and want to be the best prepared you can. So truly -- thank you! Us on the faculty/staff/administrative end of academia can feel as if we are pouring into an empty bucket at times, and it's always gratifying to hear otherwise. We really appreciate it.

As a college freshman and/or underclassman (or so I'm assuming) your first job is learning how to collect basic information from the things you read, collate and cite them accurately, and make them converse intelligently with each other in an entry-level piece of academic writing (such as an essay responding to an assigned prompt). So before you have to worry about understanding complex nuance and granular-level fact-checking, the first step is just getting comfortable with academic forms, styles, and conventions. There's an occasional anti-intellectual strand of thinking that pops up on Tumblr, basically insisting that everyone everywhere should be able to understand everything in fifth-grade words and if not then it's Elitist Gatekeeping, but this is a symptom of TikTok brainrot where people's brains have been literally rewired to only process spoon-fed chunks of incredibly simplistic (and uh, often wrong) information, and literally can't parse anything longer, even if it's written in accessible language. Yes, many academics are not necessarily great writers, but you also have to let go of the mindset that you can speed-read once and understand everything. You will need to slow down, take your time, and make a note of concepts that are confusing or that you want to double-check, words you need to look up, and things that make you say "hmm I should look into that more," whether because you're interested or they seem questionable. I always read academic texts or papers (I prefer hard copy, because I am Fucking Old) with a pen in hand, because if I don't, I often feel like I didn't read it at all.

Basically, this is an interactive process between you and the text, and requires you to develop a different kind of reading mentality than just buzzing through a novel or fanfic for pleasure. You have to expect that it will take time and that if you regularly skive off the readings, you won't be prepared for class, your professors will be annoyed, and you won't be able to write good essays, because you haven't engaged with the material. In your case, it sounds like that will be less of a problem, because you are eager to know how to do it right, but I can tell you from my experience that nothing frustrates us more than students who just won't do the reading (and you know, use ChatGPT to write their essays) because then what are you even DOING here? What do you want to get out of this? Why are you wasting your precious tuition money like this? Yes, you probably have to fill a requirement, but STILL. It's disrespectful to your teacher, who has invested a lot of effort in being here to help you with this and doesn't want you to just quit because it looks hard, and your peers, and to you. So anyway, /Captain Holt voice/ apparently that's a trigger for me. Basically, if you learn nothing else from this ask: please do the reading. Even if it's only to admit you need more help or want to talk about this concept in class or otherwise take advantage of all the structures that are in fact there to help you understand it! Thankee.

Likewise, because you're an underclassman, you have an advantage in that your teacher will select the class readings for you ahead of time. That means you will be receiving things that a professional has already checked, decided are useful and trustworthy, and you don't have to do independent research and vetting yourself (that will come if you decide for some godforsaken reason to pursue graduate and/or doctoral study). So you don't need to spend tons of extra time and effort deciding if the sources given to you in class are reliable on a basic and functional level; your professor has already done the work for you to make sure that they are. Your job is now to read those sources, keep a record of what they say (hence the aforementioned pen or other way to make quick notes) and figure out how to put them together in an essay. For example, if Author A cites Factor A as, say, the main cause of the fall of the Western Roman Empire, and Author B insists that Factor B was in fact more critical, what is your best approach to reconciling that information? You would search in the rest of those texts to see what else they say in support of their position, and you would probably end up with a qualified statement to the effect of, "While Author A argues A, Author B thinks B, representing the lack of consensus and the difficulty in attributing one single cause to an event as complicated as the fall of Rome." (And then because you're smart, you would go on to mention Byzantium and the Eastern Roman Empire and show that you are aware of the further context.) All of which is true! Historians do that all the time! You don't need to select THE RIGHT ANSWER and vigorously discredit all other theories, ever, and we tend to look suspiciously on people who do (cough cough Philippa Langley).

In other words, we are certainly not expecting you as a freshman, and even as a more advanced student, to be able to pick out ONE ANSWER from the material. We just want to see evidence that you have in fact read it, are able to evaluate and place theories side by side and possibly make a judgment as to which one you find more compelling, and also to properly cite where you got that information. We've seen a lot recently about plagiarism and that being the pretext on which Harvard president Claudine Gay was forced to resign (which is a whole other can of worms, but never mind). A lot of professors think that saying "Don't Do Plagiarism" is enough, but then don't explain what it is and the different forms it can take. It's not just a matter of copying verbatim chunks of someone else's work (or you know, ALL OF IT, like certain recently discredited YouTube scumbags) and acting like it's your own. If you are relying substantially on someone else's work, whether in their wording, arguments, conclusions, structure, or anything else, even if you've changed some of the words (yep, still plagiarism!), that needs to be cited appropriately according to the relevant style guide. Direct quotes from anyone need to go in quotation marks or indented blocks and have the author cited immediately afterward. History usually uses Chicago, MLA, or MHRA, and you can find cheat sheets for how to do that online. It's a pretty simple and straightforward style, and your professor will be extra impressed.

If you're expected to do an independent project or a senior research thesis, as some undergraduate history students do, then it will come when you have already had three years of experience in reading, evaluating, and writing historical scholarship, you will probably have a faculty member assigned to you for one-on-one mentoring and personalized feedback sessions, and they will be able to provide suggestions and support for useful sources. So even then, you still don't have to do it entirely on your own. They'll probably also be MORE than happy to debate with you which ones are good and which ones are suspect, because it's all a part of developing your ability to flex that muscle for yourself. (And as noted, faculty members Will Have Strong Opinions.) That likewise doesn't mean you just have to copy whatever they say (at least if you have a good teacher who wants you to think for yourself and not just be a mini-clone of their pet theories), but it means that by the time you reach that stage, you will have been prepared enough to feel confident in taking more steps on your own. I think not enough people realize that studying history (or anything, really) isn't just throwing you out there and being like "tough luck sucker, do it all yourself."

That's why academia is so collaborative, why plenty of historians with doctorates and tenure will still have to say "I don't know, let me get back to you" when someone asks them a question at a conference, and you don't have to fear that if you don't have The One Right Answer, you will be immediately exposed as a fraud and thrown out. History as a discipline is also moving away from the 19th-century German approach that attempted to systematize it as a singular social science with One Right Answer, and to focus more on multiple perspectives and incomplete answers. That's why the goal is not necessarily to know everything (which alas, is impossible), but to make better sense of what we can know and search for ways in which the existing record is flawed and needs to be revised, expanded, or reworked with new perspectives (which have existed all this time, but haven't been privileged by the white male western academy for the obvious reasons). And that work is fun and important! I don't want you to be scared of getting to that point, because someone will be there to support you the whole way and by the time you do, it will make sense to you in a way it probably doesn't right now, just because it's a new skill and like any new skill, it takes a long time to learn and to be able to apply confidently, consistently, and at a high level. And plenty of us who do it as a career still often have to say "I don't know, let me ask Dr. So-and-so who specializes in this," so yeah. It's a process of becoming comfortable with both learning how to answer what we can, and to ask others for help with that, and it never really ends. Which is the fun part. There's so much more to do.

Good luck!

#anonymous #ask #history #school stuff #academia: not even once

[kangmoon27]

MINE TO FUCK, MINE TO RUINED | JJK

Staring at the mirror. Running down your hand to your hips up to your waist and caress your boobies. Following the shape of your body with the use of your hand.

Looking at your reflection as you caress your face. All you need is to be pretty and fuckable. Make ups make you feel confidence and hot. Yet your not wearing any as you knew it will be a waste of time putting it one when that specific person will ruined it.

Being satisfied with the fit of the lingerie to your body shape, you smiled to yourself. That lace lingerie make the marks all over your body visible.

Starting from your neck. Down to your chest and boobies then to your belly down to you tights. All covered with marks. He truly and extremely wanted everyone to know you're his property.

As soon as you're satisfied with it. You open the curtain and saw your bodyguard. A smirk appear on your lips once you saw him gulp and trying his best to avoid your present.

"What do you think? Do I look sexy on it?" You asked him as soon as you stepped in wearing the lingerie you're about to buy.

The man clear his throat as he nod his head while his back is facing you. You sigh and walked Infront of him.

"How can you saw it looks good on me when you're not even looking" you smile at him once you finally catch his eyes.

"I-I it looks good one you madam, it really fits you" he said. You're smile grow bigger seeing him so nervous.

"Okay then I'll be buying things" you said and went back inside the fitting room.

After returning to your clothes, you open the door and handled the lingerie to your bodyguard as you smirk at him already walked away.

The big guys smiled and blush as he went to the counter to pay for the lingerie you just bought.

As soon as you finish shopping, you went home directly feeling tired after a long day. Once you entered the living room a man is sitting on the couch crossing his legs while his both arms are on the side of couch.

Comfortably sitting on the couch, he called out your name catching you full attention when you're about to step on the stairs. You look at him and smiled.

Slowly yet sexily walking towards him and sit on his lap. He wrapped his left hand around your tiny waist while his right hand started caressing your tights.

"You're home early master" you whispered to his ears making him close his eyes feeling turned on by the way you sexily whispered through his ears.

"Cause I wanted to fuck you" he said. Those pair of dark odds staring right into your soul totally eating the remaining innocence you had left. But it all gone now.

"Are you gonna fuck me now sir?" You asked as you stand up and begin to unzip your dress and let it fall on the ground.

The man grabbed his jaw grabbing it hard as he stands up and pulled your body closer to his to the point your body collided with his.

"There's literally a man right behind you holding all your shopping bags and you had a audacity to strip there's huh?" He sounds mad as his voice is hard and deep yet you get turned on.

"What can I do. You pick a girl from club who's used getting mans attention and normalize bring naked Infront of different people. Using your money for her own wills is it my fault that you pick a slut?." You replied him.

He grabbed your jaw hard, staring at you and aggressively started kissing you, pulling you closer to him and broke the kiss.

"I let you used my money cause you let me used your body. But don't you ever call yourself a slut" he said using his husky deep voice.

"But I am" you said. He take a deep breath and grabbed your chin. "Listen up here woman. I'm the one who owns you meaning you will do and listen to what I'll say, so If I say your not a slut then your not a slut."

The man totally lose his mind because of you. The fact that he didn't care about your past life and the way he always garenty that you're his property made you so lucky.

You're just a girl from a club who work as strip, get attached to a rich man and used his money yet he allows you. You're the luckiest woman living in earth.

"But since you're being disobedient and getting strip right Infront of other man THAT you shouldn't do. I don't think I just wanna fuck you cause I think now I wanna ruined you."

"Then you ruined me" you said not knowing you're about to regret what you've just said.

Red room, red light, full of toys, sex toys to be specific. laying on the bed your wrist is handcuffed to the bed board while you feet is attached to a metal thing that gets stretch when you moved your feet and get stocked.

The man walk in all naked while massaging his massive cock. You're being blindfolded so you don't know what's happening around you yet you can already feel his presence.

The dark aura he brings never disappoint to bring get exited and nervous. You feel the bed move assuming he climbed up.

A soft lips touches your lips, huge hand massage your breast while you moan out into the kiss. He pulled away and hanging over you. He groan as he position himself.

He play with his cock while he on top of you, he bring it closer to your face as he slap you will it. You get startled when he suddenly slap it to your lips.

"Suck me off like a good girl you are" he said as he moved himself closer to your face. Putting his man slowly into your body as he move himself up and down while your mouth is circling his huge cock. You're at the every edge of choking yet you're liking the pain of lust.

He started moving faster while groaning in pleasure. He wanted to cum inside your mouth so bad but at the same time he also couldn't wait to ruined you hole. He begin to go on his speed till he fill himself cumming.

Soon the hot liquid explode inside your mouth. He removed himself and get down from the bed he walked Infront of you and pushed the bottom of the metal thing on your feet that made your legs spread wild open making you gulp.

"Fuck I wanna see you ruining me" you said making him smirk as he pulled the blindfold up.

"Ready to get ruined?" He asked but before you could even answer he turd you around as he put his cock inside you tight butt hole making you scream in pain as you're not used getting fuck at the butt.

"F-fuck" coursing under your breath as you can feel him completely inside you filling you all up. "Slow it down please" you beg him.

He grabbed your hair into ponytail and started soft kissing your bare shoulder while thrusting slowly taking time for you to adjust to his length.

After a minute of beging soft he slowly turned it into wild sex. Flipping you back and front thrusting deep, fast and hard on you, every thrust surly hitting your spot. Not even aware how many time you've already cum.

He's marking your collarbone, sucking it and bitting it while his length is deep inside you fucking you hard and deep. One move thrust and then boom you both made your cum at the same time.

He fell off beside you as both of you started catching your breath. He sit up on the bed and  removed your handcraft same with the one on your feet. Kissing you as he smiled.

Thinking it was over, you close your eyes ready to take a rest when you suddenly heard the vibrator sound.

Opening your eyes and saw him holding it. "We're not yet done baby" he said with a smirk.

"Fuck Jeon, you're literally ruining me" you said as you chuckles and get yourself ready for another round.

#jungkook #bts jungkook #bts x reader #bts #bts fanfic #jungkook imagine #jungkookff #jungkook x reader #bts smut

[lowkeycasanova]

Down bad pt. 2

You invited Vinnie over to your friends house as there was a get-together happening and you thought not only y'all could hang out, but he could meet some of your good friends.

To say he was nervous was an understatement. He didn't want to be flustered around you, but as a result of not going out as much as his peers, he also knew that he'd be in a room with people he didn't know and he'd hate to make a bad first impression.

For a moment, he thought about not going. But he didn't want to disappoint you.

Upon arriving, Vinnie was greeted by your friend Cody at the front door, who recognized him immediately and let him in.

"Yo, you're Vinnie, right?"

"That's me."

"Y/N told us you might be here." Cody replied and shut the door behind them.

Despite the house being in the Hollywood Hills, a place well known for its outlandish parties, it was actually a small gathering with a few people, just like you said.

He took in his surroundings as the other guys came to greet him.

Your friend Maya bumped your shoulder. "There go your boyfriend."

You followed her eyes and saw Vinnie greeting the boys with that handshake guys always do.

"You're so annoying." you told her with a smile.

Vinnie's eyes scanned the room and you two made eye contact.

With as much confidence as he could muster up, he walked toward you and gave you a big ol bear hug.

He smells good, you thought.

Long story short, everyone wanted to get to know Vinnie, so y'all sat down on the white couch to get more comfortable and personal.

"So...what do you do besides the whole tik tok thing?"

"Um," Vinnie started off but was silent for a moment, feeling all eyes on him. You know like how you're in school and the teacher wants everyone to introduce themselves and suddenly you forget who you are for a second? Yeah.

"I've been modeling a lot. Or trying to get back into it. I did a photoshoot for Tings magazine and just recently came back from Paris. I attended the Ami Menswear show as a guest."

"Now that I'm thinking about it," Cody said. "I did see you. I mean, I wasn't there but I saw photos from the event."

"Pink vest?"

"Yeah!"

"That was me."

"How old are you?" someone else asked.

"I'm 20."

"No way? I would've guessed you were pushing 23."

***

You sat there smiling while Vinnie talked more about his interests. He mentioned cars, gaming, but the only thing you could relate to was anime. At least some of it. But nevertheless, you enjoyed listening to him talk and become more comfortable.

Everyone gets eventually gets up except for you and Vinnie and you inch closer to him.

"I like your outfit." you tell him.

He's wearing black sweatpants with a red shirt and red bandana to match.

"Thanks." he says sheepishly.

Internally he's so fucking happy. He was rummaging around in his closet for an hour.

“You know what’s funny?” He asks. You give him a look to keep going. “The fact that I’m here. I mainly meet people through my friends because I don’t go out a lot.”

“Meaning…because you’re on Valorant most of the time, right?” You laughed.

“Precisely. I find comfort in my PC.”

“At least you’re not out wasting money.” You shrugged. “So tell me more about this game.”

“It can get really annoying. And it’s bad because I spend so much time on it.”

“You any good?”

“I’m…pretty decent. What about you. You play anything?”

“Does Mario Cart on Nintendo Switch count?”

He laughed out loud.

“What?” You said defensively. “It’s fun!”

"No, I'm not laughing to make fun of you, I swear. That's a fun one. You'll have to let me play with you one of these days."

"Maybe we can hang out again before I leave to Chicago."

“Why you going there?”

"Oh, just a friend's birthday party and I have a couple brand events."

"I hope you have a good time. Keep me updated."

"Sure, what's your number?"

***

Your friend Blake announced that pizza was here and everyone scrambled into the kitchen. You and Vinnie got up from your spots on the couch and met up with them.

While getting food, you stood thisclose to Vinnie, able to better see the tattoos on his arm.

"I really like this one." You told him, referring to the skeleton on his bicep and then holding his arm to run your thumb across it.

He rolled up his sleeve so you could see it better and told you when he got it. Smiling, as he was proud to talk about it and would gladly explain each an every one of his tattoos if you'd be down to listen.

Vinnie grabbed his food and walked off and you turned to see Maya across the counter from you with a look on her face as if to say 'something you wanna tell me?'

She'd seen the interaction between you and Vinnie but you didn't know that.

"What? Just gave him a compliment." you shrugged.

She scoffed. "I think I'm gonna be sick."

***

He was prepared to come, say a few words to you, then back away in nervousness to stand in the corner on his phone.

He wasn't gonna lie. Vinnie did feel a little intimidated by being here, but you were so easy to talk to and he felt grateful that you and your friends made him feel included.

——-

Note:

Sorry the ending was shit

#vinniehacker #vinnie hacker #vinnie x reader #vinnie hacker imagine #vinnie x y/n #celeb crush #vinnie hacker fluff

[ciaossu-imagines]

Also one thing i constantly wonder is how it would be if for a short period of time the Unseen Varia are tasked to "assist" Tsuna and his family in getting accostumed to life in italy. Hayato doesnt really need it, he is plenty comfortable with the mafia life but the others? Not so much. Reborn is kinda busy with a lot of stuff regarding actually building up a structure for the family, so they were called to help instruct the newcomers to this life and how to actually survive in italy (Unfortunately Tsunas way of doing things does not work that well in a place where the mafia is 90% of the cities population). Squalo only agreed to it because right now there are little hits ordered and the higher ranks are too expensive to deploy so sending them for lower rank missions would be a waste of respurces.

"Go show this trash how not to fucking bite it in the first week in italy!"

Lor: are we gonna get paid?

Ser: dude. But actually good question. Captain, will we be compensated in any way?

Squalo: standart A rate flat

Ser: FLAT?! (meaning instead of a per hour pay its a set amount of money for the whole mission irrelevant of any additional hours or circumstances)

Lor: Standart A Flat?! You gotta be fucking kidding me, isn't thia a super important mission?!

Leo: *soft worried and anxious whimper at the hightening tension*

Ava: Does that mean each "lesson" will be counted as an A Flat, or our entire stay?

Squ: every lesson

Ser: oh, okay, I'm cool with that.

Lor: can we squeeze any additional pay from them?

Ser: you want to scam Neo Primo for additional pay?!

Lor: hey its a good lesson in and of itself to not be sucha a damn pushover.

Squalo: sure, if you dont get a bullet to the shins, go ahead.

And thus the "Unseen Varia" make their way to the Neo Primo Famiglia. Tsuna is not fucking THRILLED being informed that this is happening about 10 minutes before they arrive, and to his horror they are actually a bit early- and the confusion and shock only gets worse when Yamamoto loudly calls "Ava! :D" only for this young boy to look up, grin widely and rush to Yamamoto yelling "Takeshi!" before jumping into his open arms and giving him a kiss to both cheeks that Yamamoto actually reciprocates.

Yama: it's been so long!

Ava: since the future I believe!

Yama: seriously?!

They both laugh and finally the rest of the Varia that are unknown to the rest of them, close up to the group.

The guy with the long white hair that is NOT Squalo, joins with a grin and as Ava lets go of Yamamoto gives him a bro-y handshake.

"Hey, Takeshi! Whats up man?"

"Nothing much! I didn't know you guys would come!"

The group is not surprised at the fluent japense, after all thats what the Varia officers they met also displayed, but the familiarity is jarring until Yamamoto explains.

"Everyone, this is Ava and this is Sergey, they're Squalos second in command of the rain division."

Ser: sup!

Ava: *bowing* it's a pleasure to meet you all in person. During his time training with my brother, Takeshi told us a lot about all of you.

Yamamoto grins widely to which Tsuna just looks a but curious.

"Brother?"

"Yes!" Ava smiles proud.

"I am Squalos younger brother, nice to meet you!"

There is a round of genuine shock (Squalo has a LITTLE BROTHER?!?!?) and Tsuna mentally notes that they all seem a LOT more tolerable than the Varia they met- in fact Ava doesnt seem at ALL like Squalo- then Tsuna also thinks back on the ringbattles and how Ava must've seen his brother get mauled by a shark.

Ava: mh? Are you worried about the shock of seeing Squ lose and get jumped by a shark?

Tsuna: (he calls him "Squ"...) Um-- yeah.

Ava: it wasn't your fault. You didn't design that battle arena and besides, Dino immideatly called me to confirm, that my brother was okay.

The temperature drops a few degrees and when Ava opens his eyes, they are devoid of any life despite the smile on his face. It just does not reach the eyes.

Ava: otherwise I would've killed everyone in that building and then myself.

Tsuna: (NEVERMIND HE IS JUST AS CRAZY!!)

But Yamamoto breaks the tension by pattimg Avas shoulder and laughing.

"It's good that Dino-san was there!"

Ava immideatly returns to normal

"Yeah!"

Lorenzo then loudly proclaims

"Allright, now that the shmoozing is over, let's get to the point."

He looks directly at Tsuna who jolts.

"We four are the strongest members of the Varia right after the officers. So we were tasked to get you civis into shape." Gokudera clicks his tongue.

"Don't call me a fucking Civi."

Lor: oh? The storm brat has a loose tongue, doesn't he? And you wanna stop me HOW exactly? Throw some firework at me?

Dera: Those fireworks almost killed your damn psycho prince!

Lor: and yet you still lost against said psycho prince

Dera: at least I was a representative for the Vongola in that fight and not some benchwarmer of a second class institution like the Varia!

Ser: Leo, get him!

Ava sighs as Leo quickly grabs hold of Lorenzo and pulls him back.

"Let go of me, Leo, I'm gonna cut this brat limb from fucking limb!"

On the other side Yamamoto has a tight grip on Gokudera. Despite being older and more mature, he still has his temper.

"What Lorenzo wanted to say-" Ava then continues "is that we are here to train you in the survival arts of the mafia life. The city you chose to reside in from now on is to 90% inhabitet by mafiosi of several generations in. They are very well adapt in conning and scheming for their own benefit. Even with the Vongola backing you, they will do whatever they can to bring you down and seize power from you, since they just see you as a civi newcomer. If you had taken mantle as the Tenth of the Vongola Famiglia they would've still shown respect out of fear of angering the entire clan, however now that you have basically opened a new branch, at least as far as the unassociated know, they will try to outsmart you to get a foothold in the power structure. We from the Varia are the ones with adequat experience and knowledge to teach you how to navigate such an environment."

Around half through Avas explanation Reborn joined them and just confirms with a nod.

Lor: that being said, we take half at the beginning of the day and half at the end of it.

Tsuna: half...?

Lor: this isn't some kind of favor we do for a friend, this is a JOB, so as you hired us, you'll have to pay us per hour rates.

Sergey seems a bit nerveous, eyes flicking to Reborn, since he knows Lorenzo is just trying to get MORE money, as all payments usually go through the Varia financial infrostructure but since this IS a good learning opportunity, Reborn turns to Tsuna after a moment of contemplation and just says

"You heared the man. Pay up."

And thus begins unofficially the Unseen Varias mission to instruct the Neo Vongola Primo family in mafia daily life 101.

I really love this little scenario! I don't really have anything to add to it because it's just absolutely lovely the way it is! However, I do want to say again that I would definitely read full novels on these characters! I especially want to say that I love and admire your dialoguing skills. I could really hear each of the character's different voices in my head. Ava has a slighter lighter voice in my head than Squalo, but still has that growling, gruff sound to it that gets worse when he gets upset and he and his brother share some of the same facial expressions and body language when I picture it out in my head. Lor, in my head, has the deeper voice with a slight drawl on some words and his posture and body language is both kind of predatory but also relaxed at the same time as I play the scene out, just because I can hear and picture it so well just reading it all, so compliments to your skills there!!

#admin chatter #not mine #varia boys #the unseen varia #not my oc's

[fabdante]

MORE reboot thoughts because I'm having fun with it:

-I keep thinking of Dante squatting in the abandoned remains of Paradise after the events of the game, when he's in a bad headspace and self isolating. Maybe feeds the local stray cats, too, and has kinda adopted a black cat as his own.

As a more positive thing: I also like the idea of him rebuilding the place as some kind of homeless shelter or halfway house- but one of the good ones, warded against demons and cops alike. Or maybe him giving it to Kat and them forming a new Order (maybe renaming it the Protectors, like from DMC2?) there.

I'm not sure where he'd get the money and manpower to rebuild the place, tho, unless he got a hold of Vergil's wealth or somehow made enough to buy the place (assuming Vergil didn't already buy it). There'd still be so many issues with paperwork. It's not like he can exactly prove that he's supposed to inherit the place, even if Sparda and Eva willed it to him. I'm not sure if he could even buy the place or run it how he'd want to, given his criminal record. Same issue with Kat's criminal record. But its still a nice idea.

Could also see Dante just going "fuck the paperwork" and warding the place against demons and veiling it from the cops* and letting (as much as he can of) the local homeless population just turn the place into a tent city. Not as good as actually having the place fixed up and running as something official, but its better than just letting all that space go to waste.

Not sure how much Dante would actually do this one, tbh, since I'm not sure how comfortable he'd be letting people in to his old home. Even if there's nothing really left there but ash and memories and his parents' paintings, it was still the place he and Vergil grew up. Might be too personal.

*= Its not really clear what the rules for the Nephilim's powers ARE, so maybe Dante can hide things from sight, like illusion magic? I mean, the demons kinda did that, so ??? But if not then ignore this, lol.

-Headcanon that there are a lot of half demons and people with demonic heritage running around after the end of the game, just given how many demons there were integrated into human society under Mundus. I doubt all of them would be on Mundus' side, even just out of fear. Maybe after Mundus is gone, they can all rally around Dante and Kat instead? And help him and Kat build a better future? Maybe some good demons too, that never had the courage or the power to really openly defy Mundus/protect humanity before this? Idk, I just like the idea of Dante not being the only non-human good guy around, y'know? Same with Sparda. And Eva, tbh. I mean, making a nephilim takes a demon AND an angel, so presumably Eva wasn't the only one to rebel and fall in love with a demon. It'd be neat if we could see more of that, even if it was just second or third hand accounts of the relationships.

-Headcanon that Dante hangs out by Assiel's statue, sometimes, post game. He's not really sure how aware she actually is, since Phineas said she was slain, but she still turned her head and spoke to Dante when he approached her for help, so he talks to her anyway. Thanked her for her help, telling her that they killed Mundus, told her what happened with Vergil, told her about Sparda and Eva... Just. Anything. He thinks of it as kinda being like hanging out with his cousin. Or at least visiting her grave. Or both, sometimes.

He probably repaired her statue, too, as much as he could. It'd probably take some welding gear and extra metal and such, assuming he couldn't just use his powers, but hey, he's got time. Maybe tried painting her statue, too- if that's not too weird.

-Kinda inspired by the Vergil Chronicles, but I like the idea of Dante just clearing out a space in Limbo for him and Kat to just chill in. Maybe go on a date in? Just. Somewhere nice, and pretty to look at, and fun to walk around. No demons. Not sure if Dante can bring snacks into Limbo with him, but maybe he'd try anyway, for her? Or they could just eat when they get back to the real world, whichever.

(Idk if Limbo is even a thing anymore by the end of the game, but this idea was cute, so I'm sticking it here.)

-Headcanon that Dante's ill-fitting jacket in the game is a keepsake from an old boyfriend of his. Dante bounced before being around him could get the guy killed, but they were still fond of one another, and it probably could've been good if Dante had stayed/things were different. Dante kept the jacket as a memento of their time together. (I know it doesn't have to be that deep, I just like this headcanon.)

Oh these are fun!

I have thought about the idea of Dante returning to Paradise after the events of the game. I know it's one the reboot fandom considers a lot and I like seeing everyone's different takes. Me and my girlfriend had an AU once set entirely around the concept of Dante, Kat, and other survivors of the crash of Limbo City rebuilding Paradise as a sort of home base and it was always a fun one.

I had also never considered Dante with illusion powers, that's interesting. It always seemed like something more in line with Vergil but like you said there's not really any info on what powers Nephilim in the context of the reboot do or don't have and how universal all of these abilities are!

I'm also a big proponent of there being more morally nebulous demons and half demons in Limbo City. In a lot of my writing (most of which are WIPs right now) there's a lot of characters who are either full or half demons who are fairly autonomous with a lot of moral range. It's something I always liked about the reboot specifically, how we get a lot of implications that the demons are more morally complex then a lot of the ones in the preboot (given we have characters like Phineas who confirm that there were demons rebelling against Mundus and such)

As for other accounts of Eva and Sparda's relationship in the reboot, I find them really interesting. I actually wrote a meta post about them once that's just highly speculative on the nature of Eva and such (Part 1, Part 2 there's two parts). I've been meaning to do a follow up also I just haven't had time to finish it up. I'd also like to write a one shot about my view of their relationship which might not be everyone's cup of tea but I find them very interesting.

The idea of Dante returning to Assiel is very sweet! And the idea of Kat and Dante having their own little zone in Limbo/hell is very fun to!

The jacket idea is fun to! I tend to headcanon that Dante is a bit of a magpie for jackets, so my explanation for it's size was that he'd shoplifted it a while back asdfghj I like the boyfriend angle though it's cute!

#ask #long post #dmc reboot #i should finish that meta post follow up sometime it's about the boys as weapons a lots going on asdfghj

[stayathomesurveys]

178.

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged? Yes :)

2. You talked to an ex today, correct? NOOOO.

3. Have you taken someones virginity? No.

4. Is trust a big issue for you? Yeah.

5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently? No :(

6. What are you excited for? Nothing at the moment.

7. What happened tonight? It is 5:56 am... I'll just answer this for last night/this morning since I have been up all night. I ate dinner, watched a lot of Desperate Housewives, talked w/ Nik, looked for jobs, worked out, had yogurt, doing surveys :)

8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted? I don't really care. I don't really like when anyone gets really wasted unless I, too, am really wasted. I just don't like being around it!

9. Is confidence cute? It can be?

10. What is the last beverage you had? Diet Dr. Pepper.

11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? I'm working on 1 :) which is a big step up from 0.

12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans? Yeah, in storage.

13. What are you gonna do Saturday night? Probably study.

14. What are you going to spend money on next? I need to buy some toiletries and other essentials so probably that.

15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed? NO.

16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months? Yes.

17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? No one.

18. The last time you felt broken? Hm.

19. Have you had sex today? GODDDD I WISH.

20. Are you starting to realize anything? Hm.

21. Are you in a good mood? Meh.

22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks? Yeah.

23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s? No.

24. What do you want right this second? MONEY.

25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy? I don't even know. I probably would never talk to him again lmao.

26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color? Kinda but no.

27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? No...

28. What was the last thing that made you laugh? Something on Twitter.

29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now? Yes :(

30. Does everyone deserve a second chance? NO.

31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to? Nooooo I love him sm.

32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do? Yesssss :)

33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda? PLS I WISH. I used to not drink soda at all..... and then .... I got addicted :(

34. Listening to? Desperate Housewives.

35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore? No.

36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is? NOPE. I don't fucking care about that loser.

37. Do you believe in love at first sight? No.

38. Who did you last call? Nik.

39. Who was the last person you danced with? My ex, at his mom's wedding.

40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed? Because I *had* to. He was my boyfriend at the time and I didn't want him to get mad at me for not wanting to kiss him lmao.

41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake? Hmmm.

42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today? No.

43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush? Who hasn't?

44. Do you tan in the nude? No.

45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss? I mean, I would like to take back that entire relationship.

46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night? No. Until he fell asleep, yes. I don't sleep lmao.

47. Who was the last person to call you? Nik.

48. Do you sing in the shower? No.

49. Do you dance in the car? Yup.

50. Ever used a bow and arrow? I tried.

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? Idk.

52. Do you think musicals are cheesy? Yeah but I like some.

53. Is Christmas stressful? Not really.

54. Ever eat a pierogi? Yes lmaooooo staple in my house.

55. Favorite type of fruit pie? Not a big pie girlie unless it's those delicious ass pies from McDonald's lmao. Blueberry and cream for lifeeeee.

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? Actress, singer, vet, doctor, fashion designer.

57. Do you believe in ghosts? Yes.

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? Yes.

59. Take a vitamin daily? I need to.

60. Wear slippers? Mhmmm.

61. Wear a bath robe? Not lately.

62. What do you wear to bed? T shirt and shorts.

63. First concert? Jonas Brothers.

64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? Target.

65. Nike or Adidas? I like both :/ Nike, I guess.

66. Cheetos Or Fritos? Cheetos.

67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? Neither.

68. Favorite Taylor Swift song? Oooooh idek.

69. Ever take dance lessons? No.

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? No.

71. Can you curl your tongue? Yup.

72. Ever won a spelling bee? Yes. Winning word was Mononucleosis.

73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy? Yessss.

74. What is your favorite book? Idek.

75. Do you study better with or without music? Without.

76. Regularly burn incense? No.

77. Ever been in love? Yes.

78. Who would you like to see in concert? TAYLOR SWIFT :( MORGAN WALLEN :(

79. What was the last concert you saw? Jingle Ball.

80. Hot tea or cold tea? Cold :)

81. Tea or coffee? Tea (sweet).

82. Favorite type of cookie? Chocolate chip :) Chocolate chip WITH M&M :)

83. Can you swim well? No.

84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? Not anymore :/

85. Are you patient? Not really but I try.

86. DJ or band, at a wedding? Probably a DJ.

87. Ever won a contest? Yeah.

88. Ever have plastic surgery? Not yet. One day.

89. Which are better black or green olives? I don't really care for olives, but black I guess because those are the only ones I'll eat and only on pizza.

90. Opinions on sex before marriage? Don't really care.

91. Best room for a fireplace? Living room/family room.

92. Do you want to get married? YES.

#survey

[iamloveandlightsworld]

I had an okay day

The last month I've been talkative and not too down

But then like a switch

I feel like I'm being pulled under the water again

My mind is chanting stick a knife in your throat

You're disgusting

I hate looking myself in the mirror

I haven't been drinking water

So ofcourse my face looks like a monster

I haven't been moving ofcourse my body is disgusting

I don't have a personality ,I'm as bland as they come

I'm a fraud,an imposter

I'm a bad person who loses interest in people and then blame them for not caring enough

I'm pathetic because I expect people to care when I'm already pushing everyone away

Lately most shows I watch with mum there has been a suicide

And she'll comment something like Amejiua

And she has zero awareness that I am thinking and planning on how to die

There are so many people who have potential and are good people and have the will to live but they die

I wish I could give them my life

You might be wondering..ah..she was so weak and such a coward..did she expect us to read her mind...why didn't she ask for help...she knows we love her and we supported her

Maybe I'm wrong

I'm a lazy ass bitch who can't get off her ass and look for work

I've wasted everybody's time and money

Mum and dad must have spent a fortune on my education

But lil sad Gin...poor Gin...just take your meds and integrate into society and stop being so pathetic

You expect people to wake up and serve you

What a joke....can I just sleep and never wake up again

Why am I so resistant to God

People seem to have their lives together when they believe and trust in God

I don't really try to make an effort to get to know him

The being in charge of me

The being who supposedly loves me so much he brought me to existence to fulfill some type of purpose when I'm on earth....the one who will send my soul straight to an eternity of pain and misery

Gin...you think being this privileged is so miserable

Wait till you're in purgatory and burning in hell for an eternity

Why the fuck are you so resistant

I think it's because I'm exhausted

I don't want to be helped

Maybe I deserve an eternity for suffering

You're nothing but a waste of space

Taking up oxygen that someone else needs

Like I lie in bed and let mum slave herself with house chores

Like Fuck Gin....you could at least be helpful if you're going to lazy around in bed and eat free food and get free shelter and clothes and electricity and comfort

I mean why the fuck do you feel like you're suffering

What the fuck is wrong with me

JUST TAKE THE KNIFE AND PLUNGE IT IN YOUR HEART

YOU DESERVE A PAINFUL DEATH

YOU ARE NOT A GOOD DAUGHTER

YOU ARE NOT A GOOD SISTER

YOU ARE NOT A GOOD NIECE

YOU ARE NOT A GOOD GRANDCHILD

YOU ARE NOT A GOOD FRIEND

YOU ARE NOT A GOOD HUMAN

SO HURRY UP AND STOP BEING SUCH A PUSSY

THE MORE YOU PRETEND PEOPLE NEED YOU

THE MORE IM HURTING THEM, NO ONE NEEDS YOU

I MEAN THEY WILL BE HURT AND BETRAYED BY MY SELFISHNESS 😂😂😂🤣SEE EVEN IN DEATH YOU ARE A MISERY TO EVERYONE‼️

YOUR COALS TO BURN YOU ALIVE FOR ETERNITY ARE ALREADY BEING LIT

I MEAN I DONT WANT TO GO TO HELL

IM NOT EVIL

I DONT WANT TO BE ON LUCIFER'S OR GOD'S SIDE

I JUST DONT WANT TO BE ON ANYONE'S SIDE

I DONT WANT TO EXIST

I DONT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK GOES ON AFTER ONE DIES...BUT CAN I JUST PLEASE DISSAPPEAR AND CEASE TO EXIST

LOOK AT YOU GIN

RUNNING AWAY FROM LIFE LIKE A COWARD

AND ALSO TRYING TO RUN AWAY FROM MY PUNISHMENT

I FEEL LIKE I CANT BREATHE

I FEEL LIKE MY HEART IS BEING SQUEEZED SO HARD

YOU ARE A DISGRACE TO HUMAN SOCIETY

YOU SEXUALITY

YOUR MINDSET

NO ONE NEEDS SUCH FILTH,DIRTY STAINS IN THEIR LIVES

I WAS HERE BUT I WAS NEVER HERE

YOU SAID HELLO ONCE OR TWICE

SO MY DEPARTURE FROM EXISTING SHOULDNT AFFECT YOU AT ALL

JUST ATTEND MY SENDING AWAY BTS THEMED "FUNERAL"...CRY A LITTLE...REMINISCE SOME OLD TIMES WE HAD TOGETHER AND MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIVES

FOR MY FAMILY...I AM EXTREMELY PROFOUNDLY SORRY TO MY FAMILY...I WISH I COULD ERASE MYSELF IN A NOT SO TRAUMATIC WAY..LIKE A PHYSICAL ILLNESS OR SOMETHING...THATS EASIER TO ACCEPT AND MOVE ON

BUT MAYBE LEARN FROM ME

IT MIGHT BE PAINFUL

BUT PLEASE GROW CLOSER AS A FAMILY

STAND TOGETHER AND LOVE THE HELL OUT OF ONE ANOTHER

To be completely transparent and honest,Bangtan are a very high reason why I never stick a knife in my throat esp Park Jimin...I keep telling myself to wait and see what they do next....they will never know they had someone who loved them so much that they were my life jackets,my beam of light...they will never know of my existence as an individual and that's okay...it's been a great journey with them...they made me see the beauty of life but unfortunately the darkness won....I CAN BREATHE TOTALLY FINE BUT I CANT BREATHE....MY LUNGS ARE BURNING..MY MIND IS SCREAMING....DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE WHY WONT YOU DIE YOU USELESS PIECE OF SHIT....🤮🤮🤮YOU DISGUST ME..NOTHING ABOUT YOU IS LOVEABLE...WELL YOUR FAMILY LOVES YOU BECAUSE THEY HAVE NO OTHER CHOICE..THEY CANT HATE YOU...GOD STRIKE ME DOWN..IM AN EMBARRASSMENT AND A WASTE OF SPACE, A GLITCH IN THE SYSTEM...PLEASE HAVE MERCY ON ME AND ERASE ME...PLEASE HAVE MERCY ON ME AND JUST MAKE ME DISSAPPEAR NEVER TO EXIST AGAIN..PLEAS HAVE MERCY ON ME AND FORGIVE ME

PLEASE HAVE MERCY ON ME AND DONT CONDEMN ME TO AN ETERNITY OF PAIN AND SUFFERING

GIN.....WHAT IS RHHSSUEYEHKSKAUJDJKDJWJEJJEJEJJEJWJJRJDJJAKSJDIIE...IM TIRED AND EXHAUSTED AND DONE

PLEASE DONT HATE ME

PLEASE FORGIVE ME

I don't own any of this photos credit to the original owners

#thoughts #negativeintrusivethoughts #self-deprecating #mental health #mentally drained #exhausted af #archive #late night thoughts

[dystopiandilfs]

Dream's discord podcast. Basically him answering questions for 2.5 hours. This will sort of be in order but I fucked up my notes so it might not be in order completely. (From 13th May 2021)

For reference the photos at the end are: A prototype of fidget spinner merch as loads of people asked, a reference photo of his favourite merch and a photo he sent of his hair to prove he wasn't a brunette.

•He said his teeth are mostly straight but he's thought about getting Invisalign. He's never had braces. He has a tiny gap in the left side of his mouth and his canines are longer and sharper (vampire arc). He's never had teeth surgery so has his wisdom teeth still.

•He thinks pineapple on pizza is good.

•He likes seafood like lobster and crab. He had crab made in an air fryer last night. He like peas. He thinks quesadillas are good and likes most food.

•He hates Coffee and most drinks

•The Dream Shorts team is Ken who is his personal reminder (Ken's main job is to spam him with texts so he doesn't forget things as he's got a habit of reading texts and not replying) and also comes up with a list of sets for Dream shorts. The builder is a friend and munchymc builder "his talent gets wasted on Dream's shorts but we pay him so"

•His editors are currently Dizzy, Firesale and Mjcr. Willz doesn't edit for him anymore

•The mask animation isn't done but Mask should be released May 21st. He wants to release them together as "the whole song is a double meaning and the whole nuance will be lost without the animation" but no matter if the animation is done the song is getting released on the 21st.

•He and Sapnap eat together often.

•He and Sapnap prefer medium rare Steak

•He wants a home gym it's something he's willing to splurge on. They currently have a weight rack but they haven't even set it up.

•"Eat the rich? Shut up shut up" - Dream

•Talked about money basically saying "Most people don't understand how money works I don't have millions in my bank account it's in assets like merch, land and warehousing for that stuff" (He's not in his landlord arc)

•He's been debating Pride Merch because of Rainbow Capitalism. He doesn't want it too be seen as a money maker and if he does most proceeds would go to charity. He's currently super busy merch wise with Sapnap joining and George in the middle of joining. He did say "Only if the LGBTQ+ community in this community wants it" He thinks he's going to at least change the merch website to a pride one. Sapnap wants to make pride merch including a rainbow flame on his.

•He wants to create a charity that's centered around helping LGBTQ+ one day because he thinks that there's a lack of them. He mentioned that creating a charity was expensive and took a lot and was a complicated process including a board of directors but he wants to do it someday.

•He wanted to buy a bunch of houses in Florida which was a service to house mostly LGBTQ+ youth and people stuck in abusive households for free to get them out of bad home environments. But he didn't because he didn't want people thinking he was profiting of of abuse victims and LGBTQ+ community.

•He said he's terrible with time management and replying to people which is why Ken helps him (and also helps George and Sapnap). He mentioned how Sam messaged multiple times and Dream just forgot to answer but felt bad "I feel like people think I hate them..... Cause I'd be mad if people did that to me"

•He tries to reply to a few texts a day (community number). He also can't do birthday messages everyday because you can only reply at certain times so it's not abusing the system so if you get one it's special. He said he does try but it's got a weird time gap.

•Him and the manhunt winner are trying to come up with a good time to film

•He wants to stream this MCC on twitch and says his team is good.

•He talks about why he's not partnered with Twitch. Basically Twitch has a lock rate (in which you make money) and you legally can't stream on YouTube. So legally if Tommy wanted to stream on YouTube he couldn't. Someone then mentioned how Bad is a twitch partner but still streams on YouTube "Bad streams on YouTube but he has for a while and I don't think that he cares" - Dream

•He likes to reply to every donation he gets on stream and feels bad when he doesn't so he'll turn them off when he streams and wants a platform deal where he can be payed to stream (not twitch). If he gets a streaming partnership he will stream a couple of times a week. He looked in to Facebook but they don't have an alias system meaning you can see everyone's actual Facebook account and personal info, he doesn't like seeing real names on Facebook so it would require a lot of altering if he was to stream there so he's thinking it's probably going to be YouTube.

•He was asked about if his demographic was what he expected and he said he went in with no expectations, he didn't even know what stans were, wasn't really on social media so he wasn't aware of the fan culture. "You guys are a handful sometimes but it's worth it"

•He also mentioned how he and the DreamSMP changed the twitch audience demographic. It used to be male dominated in both streamers and audience and now it's almost split which is unheard on.

•He has 5 fidget spinners in his house. Two in his bedroom. Two in his office. One in the living room.

•He likes his Minecraft skin as he thinks the arm is cook and you never see the rest of his skin really. He says it's unique and different and "me". Dream: You can't even tell half the skins apart on MC.

•He's not lost the motivation to stream. Most of the times if he wants to stream he gets George or Sapnap to do it and he just turns up. It's more beneficial to them as they have donos and subs on. (Don't we fucking know it "can you say hi to")

•He has listened to Lovejoy. Says the ep was great and they're very talented and awesome. Doesn't know what his favourite song is but probably would pick One Day because the chorus slaps.

•RIP to acoustic Roadtrip. He said instead of acoustic Roadtrip we get Mask so no losses today for Dream stans.

•"With Roadtrip I went to Parker and I said Hey I have a story I want to tell through music. I have no experience with that can you help me" He said sure. He crafted the music and melodies and how things are formed where it's catchy. I have less comfort singing that. I love the song and it's my song, it's very representative of me and I'm sure I could sing it but it's a song I'd be kinds of scared to sing live, with Mask I basically did everything. I sat there the entire time and maybe an hour out if the 100 I wasn't in the call. Dream came up with the lyrics and main melody for Mask (First one he's ever come up with) "That was just notes in my fucking voice memos"

•The clip we heard of Mask was a prechorus not the actual chorus. He thinks he'd be more comfortable to do a mask acoustic and it's more melodic than Roadtrip. The chorus also has a lot of instruments similar to Roadtrip. Mask starts of slow and guitar with minimal reverb and is more raw.

• He doesn't want music to be his main thing. It's something fun to do and he's passionate about it as it's a way to express emotions. He wants to release mask then go from there. He wants to release at least one more song but has nothing on his mind currently. His two ideas were Roadtrip and Mask.

•He wouldn't quit his job to become a pizza delivery man.

•His favourite features on himself are eyes or freckles and he also confirmed that he does have eyebrows.

•He was told that Parkour warrior would be bought back some time in the near future and he got excited for it. "Even if I don't win, which I will, it'll be fun"

•Went on about his MCC team but I'm not going to put that in as we should be getting them today. He did say he wasn't on Pink but he did sound confused. (For reference he's always in Pink as it's the last team announced and keeps the hype up by announcing the biggest streamer last)

•Said he and his mum had the Mr Beast burger. He recommends because he likes the avacado. He mentioned how Mr Beast uses "Ghost Kitchens" which is basically where he gives restaurants permission to cook his food so it's restaurant quality food.

•His favourite piece of merch is the circle smile. (The pool photo on Instagram). He said the quality was bad (he worked with a different company and didn't have his own company) and it was elasticy feeling and he's planning on re-releasing it again but with good quality.

•He's started to send merch out in custom packaging. So his bags have the smile and will mostly be green. Sapnap's has the flame and is either black or white. He's also trying to make it so every order has the sticker packs for both him and Sapnap.

•He loves the coins as it's cheaper than a hoodie but still celebrates the milestones and will last a long time. He mentioned how the old coins are getting removed off the site and how if you have any of the coins your special because only a few thousand get made. He's kept around 100 of each coin that he wants to give away in person.

•He wanted to have a cool store where you could access computers that give you access to the DreamSMP in spectator mode. But it's too costly and would require too much time and isn't safe fight now. He doesn't think it'd be worth it financially.

•Most of the hoodie are black instead of multiple colours because of limited supply and covid. Getting the colours are harder because if the pandemic which hopefully won't be an issue soon.

•He wants to do a short meetup tour with Sapnap and George with a few locations in the US (and if others nearby want to join like Quackity or Karl they can). He also wants to visit Australia, UK, Canada, Mexico and Philippines and do something like that there but definitely at least visit with George and Sapnap.

•He's never been to the Philippines but his mum has. He wants to set up a place in the Philippines where he can ship merch in bulk and it would help to reduce shipping. However it would probably be big milestone merch.

•He's not got the vaccine yet but will get it when he needs to. He doesn't leave the house so he doesn't see the point.

•He's the ideas man. George's footcam video was Dream's idea. The T-shirt video was Dream's idea. Most if not all of the Dream Team's videos are Dream's ideas.

•Said he's got a similar/the same hair colour as Froy (Dream buddy at this point the only difference between you and Froy is that one of you is dating Richard Madden /lh)

#dreamsmp #dream smp #dreamwastaken #mcyt #georgenotfound #sapnap

[justalost4girl]

" If anything can go wrong, it will."

Good night!! (Here it's still night :p )

A few weeks ago I said I would do a oneshot Lorraine Broughton x F! Reader, but it got too big so I decided to follow the initial idea and turn it into a mini series. I have two chapters written and I'm going to post them here and in Ao3, I think there will be 3 or 4 chapters in total, but I'm not sure yet.

English is not my first language, so all mistakes are mine.

Enjoy!!

warnings: mention of violence, R cursing, forgery of documents (?)

Words: 4573

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1989

Berlin, East Side

You feel in your bones, when you wake up, the consequences of last night and think that the famous Murphy's Law decided to test you. On this side of the wall few things go right, but having an order in your head two days after joining STASI's wanted list proves that nothing is so bad it can't get any worse. Courtesy of a dumb customer who messed with the wrong people and thought revealing where you find your customers would be enough information to escape death. The Local Gang (or Angels, as they call themselves) loves to eliminate competition from the market.

Now he's dead and you have to deal with the STASI AND the Local Gang (you refuse to call them Angels).

The local fucking gang that sent a team of idiots to break into your favorite bar and made you run out the back door before meeting a customer who was going to pay well. The local fucking gang who must be pissed that you shot the six dumbest members you've ever had to face in your life. No really fatal shots, but of course that won't matter as they do business with the KGB.

Sometimes you want to ignore the rules you've made for yourself, especially "never kill someone unless it's in defense of yourself or someone you love", but you think killing six agents who don't have the ability to set up an ambush of success would be a great waste of bullets. Now you know you're going to have to leave town soon and you have no idea how to break the news to your brother/partner, how do you honorably abandon a war before it's over?

Damn Murphy's Law

You know you need to sort this out, but you refuse to stay in bed crying over what's already written and decide to leave the wonderful Egyptian linen sheets you got from your favorite client last month to face the world and it's impossible to face the world without a good amount of coffee. After a quick shower with a cup of Blue Mountain in hand, your newest addiction, you sit in a robe in a nice armchair, look out the window at dying Berlin and thank heaven for the comfortable life you've earned by working with one of the greatest smugglers on this side of the wall, perhaps from all over Germany. Some desperate customers offer you valuable items from them in exchange for passports and unlike your idiot “brother”, you don't have a rule about only receiving cash. Almost everything here comes from gifts, from the sofa, pictures, bags, clothes and even some books on your shelf. You don't even remember buying that cup, or the coffee set, for gods' sake.

If he saw you now he'd complain about being soft with customers and say something about how items aren't a bargaining chip in the real world, you'd get into a tiresome discussion about enjoying the finer things in life and how bills don't compare in the importance of yours. silver chain with moon pendant that was once an amulet for more than three generations for a French family.

At the end of the day, Merkel has a large information network and an office that takes up half the block, where she keeps as much money as she has secrets, and you have a house decorated by other people where each object symbolizes someone you've helped.

Four walls don't make a house

The thought takes away some of the almost peace you feel and you decide to finish your coffee before it gets cold.

After a quick glance at the calendar you remember about the march that will take place in Alexanderplatz square and decide to go scream for Germany one last time, hopefully you'll be able to hide long enough to see the fall of the damn wall that divides this country. It's not your country, not really, you don't even like to remember how you got here, but the experiences you gained wouldn't be exchanged for anything, not even for an original Van Gogh. Also, Merkel asked you to go and bring a black umbrella, the reason was not explained and you didn't feel like asking, sometimes you think Gordon Merkel is not his name, but how to judge the man who is your only family in this end of the world? You smile when you remember that he shouldn't have an umbrella with a story as cool as his and decide to piss him off for it.

Your phone rings, and you notice you've lost track of time. Merkel was helping a blonde woman named L, he didn't give you more details other than a few stories about how she was a perfect and dangerous assassin that you should keep your distance, as few people know how to deal with her. You thought he overreacted, but you had to take over some business from him while she was in town. She seemed important considering the way he told you about her and you knew better than to deny help to the person who always supported you and declared himself a brother, you trusted him because not even the best agent in the world could fake so much sincerity and affection in claiming this title for himself.

You reach out, pick up the phone, and decide to answer it. “Hey little sister, how are you out there? I called to say that everything is fine for dinner today, but there was a mishap and the wine ran out, bring the best Bordeaux you have, I'll return the courtesy as soon as possible." A code, of course.

He needs your services ASAP. Wine is a passport, Bordeaux means two elements, courtesy involves a child.

You can combine business with pleasure "Hi brother. I'm looking forward to today, I'll take the best wine I have, don't worry. I already know how you can thank me. I need to clean the house and go to the office first, but I'll be there on time. wait for me." you say in a voice that oozes normalcy, you never know when someone's listening on the phone especially now that you're a fugitive, disgraced customer. Your body sinks into the armchair noticing the oncoming cloud of worry

Merkel now knows you need his help, as cleaning the house means getting away and going to the office shows you're in a hurry.

"Alright, do you want me to send the driver?" He asks like he's not freaking out and offering the bloody job of one of his mercenaries

“No, bro, thanks, I know the way.” You say as if you really have an escape plan besides getting a fake passport, emergency backpack and all the money you can find.

“See you later, don't forget the wine. Are you sure you don't want the driver?" You wonder if he has forgotten that knowing the way literally means everything is fine

“Relax, see you later” It takes a few seconds for him to hang up and you can hear his sigh.

He will be SO pissed.

You put the phone down as you get up to gather the passport forgery materials and put them in a briefcase. Your cookbook is already there along with some banknotes from different countries. As you pick up the black backpack of standard clothes and accessories that always waited for you in the corner of the door, you decide to wear the first jacket you bought, the dark blue jeans, the combat boots you got from a skinhead, the wristwatch you bought. you got for your brother's birthday, thick leather gloves and a thin white shirt that matches the rest of your outfit. After all, if you can die when you open the door, then die well dressed. Be sure to keep the Colt 1911 around your waist and the Russian dagger around your ankle, after yesterday you never know, Your pocket watch with the coat of arms of the Brazilian imperial family indicates that 15 minutes have passed since Merkel's phone call

You take one last look at the house you've been so proud of in recent years, snap a photo with the Polaroid you've won, and, with a bittersweet smile, close the door. One day when the wall comes down, the government changes and your face is forgotten, you can come back here, until then you will have to make do with the photo album you keep in your backpack and this photo.

Putting on your sunglasses, you arrive on the street and decide to take a taxi on the other corner, make sure you look around before leaving your home, no one knows your address, but you can't be sure the local gang is so stupid to the point of not following you after last night.

Getting a taxi was relatively easy. Neil, the driver, thanks to the boots, mistook you for a revolutionary and talked for 10 minutes about how he hoped he could take down the wall with his bare hands, you thought it was cool, but as you passed the big river that was just a few blocks away from the your brother's office, you couldn't hear a word from him.

A sign signaling that the river was closed to visitors made your eyes fill with tears. You used to go there when the day was bad, spread a blanket in a corner and watch the stars, or just laugh at the distinct reflection the water made of the moon and stars. Merkel accompanied you on anniversaries, justifying them as bonding experiences. After some freaks started swimming in the river and executions increased, STASI took over and you replaced the dark water for the restaurant's bright lights. But seeing it tightly closed gave him a feeling of anguish and rancor. You would silently curse the wall builders for the rest of the trip.

Neil seemed to notice but didn't comment on it, you thanked him, wiped your tears and left a good tip as you descended a block away from your final destination. This time you didn't need to look around because even though Merkel was super busy, he made sure to leave some security close to where your landing place was.

A tall man dressed in a red T-shirt approached you and hugged you as if he hadn't seen you in a long time. You've known him since the beginning of last year, when he arrived at Merkel's office begging for a job, and from the first moment the way he turned grief over his brother's death into a thirst for revolution made you admire the young man. The two of you walked through the great gate hand in hand as you asked about his life with genuine interest, and Klaus increasingly believed in Merkel's theory about you having such a pure heart that you didn't care about motivation or the number of lives they took, your explanation of the judgment not being your responsibility, crossed the man's head before he escorted you to the main office.

You thanked him with a smile, opened the door and stood in front of the table in the windowless room, where your brother was already waiting for you.

"What the hell happened? Are you okay? I was about to send J to get you, please tell me what happened"—he said hurriedly as he got up and pointed at the couch for you to sit on. J was one of the most dangerous women in the building and you were grateful for not wasting her time.

Putting your backpack and umbrella aside, you answered:

"I'll explain later, little brother, now let me help you. You need passports urgently, don't you?" Yes, you were stalling and postponing the conversation. He'd call you an idiot for going out on the street right after you got on the wanted list, and he'd feel guilty when he found out why you didn't tell him. Merkel wasn't going to understand that her fear of failing him was no one's fault but yourself.

Your sentence seemed to give him some responsibility back, but still, as he held out a glass of water for you, his eyes met yours with a glint that warned that this conversation was far from over.

"Yeah, I really do, but don't think I'm going to forget about it. Let's talk when this is all over. Even if it's the last thing I do today."

You accepted the glass with a bit of trepidation and stood up towards the large center table while opening the briefcase with the supplies you were going to need, if Merkel noticed the bills he didn't say anything. Once at the table, you made two passports for mother and daughter in record time. According to the clock, 10 minutes passed, faster than a car, this deserves a celebration. It would have been six if Merkel hadn't been so curious to make you waste time pulling your watch out of your pocket just for him to analyze.

Everything was going well and there was only one last detail for mother and daughter to be taken by one Percival to the other side of the wall. Percival, according to Merkel, was strange and fickle. Unreliable and extremely dangerous, you should also keep your distance from him, as this man had crucial contacts on both sides of the wall.

"He must have fewer contacts than you", you would answer

If a loud noise didn't break the silence

The annoying noise of the door creaking made the hairs on the back of your neck stand up and you almost missed the last signature, it made your body vibrate with irritation and your eyes follow to the offensive source of the sound. A tall man with short hair and blue eyes was holding the doorknob with a military posture and before you could release your anger and explain something about how people shouldn't be violent inside Merkel's office you noticed he was accompanied by a woman.

AND WHAT A WOMAN!

Your eyes connected to a pair of fierce, intent green eyes, surrounded by a pale skin tone and hair so blond it looked like snow. The barely perceptible frown showed she was surprised to find someone other than Merkel there, yet she looked ready for a battle. You looked into her eyes again and nodded in acknowledgment, this must be L, the woman he was talking about.

She looked at you suspiciously, but also as if she could see into your soul, and what must have been frightening, you found endearing. A few stories of murders orchestrated by her crossed your mind, but all you could imagine is how beautiful she must be when she's mad.

They say green eyes darken when we're high on adrenaline, does that happen to her?

Her analysis of the intriguing blonde ends when she notices that the man accompanying her has raised his voice and from his furious expression, it's not the first time he's repeated the question. You interrupt him before you hear him and make sure to direct the ghost of anger before him:

"Have you lost your mind? Who walks into the office without knocking? Surely you should be here asking about passports, but if it weren't for my experience and steady hands, they would be in the trash by now. Learn to be civilized. You're under two paws not four, so act human and not animal" you say in an explosive but articulate tone to make sure he understands what you say. Sometimes when you speak fast, you are betrayed by faulty diction. Not today. Today you want this man to feel every fiber of irritation that went through his body.

Hearing Merkel holding a nervous laugh, you try to relax, but judging by the cold, almost murderous look of the man in the doorway, you've definitely gotten yourself in trouble. Looking at the organized clothes, you notice it's an old police uniform, probably taken by your brother, and unless Merkel has hired new employees, you've never seen it around here. His eyes snap back to his and something inside you warns that this must be Percival. He probably wants to kill you.

Damn Murphy's Law

A brief silence settles in the room and you shake off the fear and turn away, refusing to play the glaring game with a man who almost spoils your art. On other days you might look at him at a party, but today you want to make him swallow the ink on the stamp in his hands and invite the blonde to dinner

And it's her voice that breaks the silence.

You're flipping through the two passports for failures when she says

"Sorry, miss. My friend is an unprecedented idiot. Shall I close the door and knock again? Perhaps your highness too--"

You turn her body towards her when you hear the slightest hint of irony in her tone and interrupt her with a fake smile as you look into her eyes.

"It's not necessary, I accept your apology, Miss. I always said that Merkel should have someone armed at the door to remind everyone of the need to knock on the door. Anyone who didn't knock would lose his mind as the law of my reign says. Perhaps I should start. for him, since the top head is the last thing he wears lately" you joke look at Merkel who doesn't seem offended by the statement, shrugging you look at those blue eyes again and say "the passports are ready. Let's get out of here."

You close the passports, reach for your backpack and umbrella and start moving towards the door, both agents let you lead the way and judging by the blonde's expression, she's not used to being interrupted, nor is she used to seeing someone talking like that with Merkel, but today it was acceptable. You really think she's adorable, but you know better than to let someone make fun of you, especially in front of your brother who wouldn't let you forget about it. Either she doesn't care, or she's a great actress. Anyway, that idiot is still by her side and you refuse to be the reason for his possible laugh.

Her friend probably didn't have the same acting classes and his resemblance to the local gang members, like he's going to kill you in the blink of an eye in a cowardly way, is almost frightening. If Merkel hadn't said L is a woman, you'd be scared. It makes you shiver a little and look for Merkel, but he's not following you. Looking over his shoulder you see him putting a few more piles of dollars and euros into your briefcase. With a snap of your fingers you get his attention and before you walk out the door, you hear the briefcase click closing.

Once out of the room, you look around and realize that nothing has really changed, all faces are familiar, except for three people: a couple talking to a child. After a brief analysis you find yourself facing the passport clients, mother and daughter. The man doesn't look older than 60 and has kind eyes, almost as if he doesn't live on this side of the wall.

They don't seem to notice you

Your observation is interrupted by Merkel's loud, proud voice, right behind you. Here it comes

"This is Elizabeth Loyd and Percival, two trusted clients. Elizabeth and Percival, this is my little sister, she will be on the march today, if you need anything in the future you can talk to her."

Hearing her name, you notice that Merkel really wasn't creative at all. Who would use the initial letter of a surname as a symbol? Anyone who heard the stories about L and met a loyde who knows a Merkel would make the connection. As you turn around, you swallow your nervousness and try to put on your best smile as you say your name to them. The blonde woman who finally has a name, Elizabeth, leans closer, her eyes never leaving yours, and you wonder if she can feel the jumble of emotions that is unraveling inside you.

She smiles a smile that makes you sure she does and reaches out and greets you with a firm grip, if she noticed the sweat on your hands, she didn't let on. She also looks a little more comfortable.

Maybe because she noticed you said her real name, idiot.

You hate yourself for one second and the next you want to be without gloves because it feels soft and warm.

The man, Percival, comes next and looks at you suspiciously and the smile fades from your face, you wonder if no one else can smell the strong smell he gives off, a smell of cheap whiskey and arrogance. Still, he holds out his hand and this time you thank the gods for the gloves. Make sure you don't bow your head or fail in your posture. He still looks at you like you killed his son. Useless even to pretend, for God's sake.

Merkel watches the exchange from afar and nods to Elizabeth, she responds and Percival walks away looking uneasy. You look around uncomprehendingly, feel a little left out, and wonder which computer must have Tetris installed.

You would kill for a distraction right now.

Going out on the street in a crowded march while being chased by two groups still makes you sick.

Your brother approaches and extends his hands around you. You've missed him for the past few weeks. He still wears the perfume you gave him for his birthday and it makes you sink deeper into the hug. You know he's going to be mad when he finds out what happened so you enjoy as much affection as you can

"Little sister, in addition to our conversation I need to tell you something" his voice is low in tone and you doubt you would understand the words if you weren't so close to him "but I can't do that until the march is over. Meet me at usual table at the restaurant where we celebrate our achievements, It's very important"

His even low voice is charged with strong emotion and you are genuinely worried, Merkel has never been like this before.

"I'll do it, brother, I promise. Whatever it is, we can work it out together" you say with all the certainty you can muster in your voice, because you need him to understand that this is true.

You feel eyes on you and as you look up you notice that Elizabeth keeps an eye on your exchange with Merkel while talking to the little girl's father, from the distance she probably can't understand anything and you don't know if she celebrates or cares with so much attention received. A little further away is a Percival who pretends to be busy with the coat he's wearing. He also pays attention to your exchange, but his talent for discretion is as effective as his ability to open doors.

Your eyes return to the concentrated blue eyes that are in front of you and Merkel speaks in an almost inaudible way:

"When I whistle, I need you to raise your open umbrella and stay alert. The three people we're going to cross are very important, nothing can go wrong. But if it does, I'll be at the restaurant, whatever happens find me there."

Noticing the proximity of Percival and Elizabeth, you place your hand on your brother's shoulder and smile as you speak a little louder:

"Don't worry man, it's always a pleasure to help you. I'll leave my briefcase here, then meet you to get it. Good march."

Merkel shows that she understands his strange move and smiles, you greet some friends of his that you haven't seen in a while and as you head towards the exit, you meet a pair of deep green eyes. Elizabeth is gleaming in the cold lights that are refracted by the mosaic of the gate, she looks into your eyes, ever alert, looks at the object in your hands and nods her head with a half smile, do you think the guard's idea black rain was hers.

As you wave back, you can feel that a pair of eyes haven't left your back since the moment of your brother's embrace, as the old man is saying goodbye to the family, you know who they belong to and decide not to look for them. If the STASI, KGB or local gang find you, he doesn't own the pair of eyes you want to remember before you die.

Taking a deep breath, you walk through the gate and blend into the crowd.

..........................................................................................................................

After leaving Merkel's office block, you take a hat out of your backpack and wear your sunglasses as you look around, not that a local gang member is here but because if he sees you in disguise he will ask a series of questions and he has enough problems already, plus STASI must be monitoring this area and the last thing you want is to be arrested. You decide to tuck your coat into your backpack to change your look, and while internally debating your ability to ignore the cold, your eyes catch the almost snowy blond hair in the crowd.

This signals that they are already on the march and you decide to get a little closer to them, but make sure you do this without drawing attention to yourself since the nasty man is still there. Elizabeth is on your diagonal absorbing all the extraneous details that might be a possible threat, she seems so focused on the job of passing the owner's gentle eyes in a safe way that it makes you wonder how important he is and if she's noticed you.

A few meters later a familiar noise floats through the march and you open the umbrella almost instantly, as do other protesters.

Out of the corner of your eye you can see Percival taking the man's family across and sometime later Elizabeth does the same. You notice that her posture has changed and when she decides to stop for a better look, the crowd drags her and you can no longer locate her.

Her feet continue forward and as some signs are raised by the protesters, you try to find your brother. Unsuccessfully. You decide to trust their ability and hope that you can meet him again at the restaurant.

You also want Elizabeth to be okay.

Continuing on the march, after two or three long blocks you notice the familiar silhouette of one of the STASI bosses, he is watching the crowd as if looking for someone, but he doesn't seem to notice you. You notice observers on top of buildings and decide to leave the streets. Whether it's the Local Gang, KGB or STASI itself you don't know and decide you don't want to know.

Your brain tries to design routes to escape and your body mimics the movements of the closest protesters so as not to draw attention to you, but when some agents in black point in your direction and make space in the crowd, you run between people to seek shelter in somewhere you know and at every step you are sure that the day will be worse than you thought.

Damn Murphy's Law

#lorraine broughton x reader #lorraine broughton #atomic blonde #charlize theron

[lazarettta]

The Babysitter

Characters ( Ally Mayfair-Richards x Reader )

Rating (T) Word Count ( 2.9k) Warnings ( None, bad flirting, writing while intoxicated)

“For dinner! I'd love to come home with you for dinner.”

“Well what else would you be coming for?”

“Dessert.”

It was another late night studying on the living room floor of the Mayfair-Richards household. It wasn't uncommon for you to spend a majority of your nights here during the week and sometimes the weekend if you were needed and you usually weren't. Not that you would've minded anyway, your weekends weren't busy—mostly spent either dead asleep or trying to get out of plans you didn't want to be a part of anyway to get more sleep.

But it wasn't everyday that you were able to work for a Senator either, so even if you were busy, you weren't going to tell Ally Mayfair-Richards that. Not that she was a mean boss or anything, she was the Senator for crying out loud. And...okay yes, maybe you idolized the woman a little though it may be because you're studying law but honestly who wouldn't idolize this woman? She went through so much shit getting to this point in her life and career.

And she was hot. She was really hot but you kept it in your pants, but your eyeballs? Different story. You were just grateful that she chose you to watch her son when she was away, especially after you knocked over your entire cup of tea in her living room on the very carpet you were sitting on, and you were just a hot mess.

You thought you blew the whole thing, but the moment she produced the NDA to you a few days later when she called you back for a 'second interview' which included Ozzy this time, you'd been ecstatic and nearly knocked over another fucking cup but Ally was faster than you that time.

The giant TV was playing in front of you across the room but it was just the news channel but the volume was pretty low because Oz was asleep upstairs and you weren't really watching it anyway, you had your airpods in listening to Beyoncé and trying to create a decent scenario for one of the ten theories your professor assigned. It was due the next day so you thought picking the easiest one would work in your favor but it was turning out to be your worst nightmare—and you'd regretted choosing sleep over this, kind of.

You'd been so engrossed in your work, and music, you didn't hear the front door open and shut somewhere behind you or hear Ally quietly talking on the phone, her high heels click clacking on her polished wood floors as she came into the living room. Ally paused slightly at the sight of you and her coffee table, your books and yellow pads scattered everywhere, your head bopping slightly to whatever you were listening to as you scribbled away.

Ally smiled softly, and continued on her way upstairs to check on Ozzy knowing that she was going to find him safe, clean and fast asleep with a full belly. You'd been his nanny for four months now and you were such a blessing for Ally, she'd been reluctant to hire and trust another person with her baby boy but her career was too demanding and Ozzy was only ten. He could stay home alone for a few hours maybe, but not days or even a week or two.

After everything, Ally did have cameras around her home on the outside and she had one directly over the stairs because it overlooked the foyer and parts of the living room from an angle. She didn't want too many camera's inside of her home in case they were hacked but she wanted something at least.

Ozzy's room was dark except for his nightlight by the door and Ally quietly made her way inside, carefully sitting on the edge of the bed and pushing his curls from his face. She was ever thankful that he finally stopped having those horrible nightmares, it meant that she wasn't wasting her money on therapy sessions.

When Ally came back downstairs, you were predictably in the exact same spot you were in and Ally finally did away with her coat, placing it over the spine of the sofa and she stepped out of her heels before coming around and plopping herself down, careful not to knock over your stack of books.

The sudden movement startled you out of your skin and you quickly pulled out your airpods and looked at your boss, “Hey! Sorry, how long have you been home?”

Ally smiled down at you tiredly, practically sinking into the sofa and you could feel her exhaustion rolling off of her in waves, and you couldn't help but sympathize because damn, and you thought you were tired.

“I just got in, I'm sorry I didn't call earlier, things got busier than I expected and then everything went into chaos.”

You smirked when she threw her hands up half heartedly with a roll of her eyes, “Would a glass of wine help?”

“No, but it would definitely be a start if you join me for a glass?” she raised an eyebrow, and as much as you wanted to say yes you've already procrastinated enough and you really didn't need alcohol in your system around her lest you say something you absolutely shouldn't.

“I would but I have to finish this and it's getting late. Do you mind waiting up until my Uber gets here?”

“It's really late, you should just stay the night, (Y/n).” Ally sat up then, waving away your comment, though now she was closer and hovering over you a bit, “I'll take you home tomorrow after breakfast, that sound fair?”

It wouldn't be the first overnight stay but it would definitely be the first time that she'd be home too and you just couldn't say no to that even though you probably should have insisted more that you go home, but you accepted her offer without further debate. You'd gone back to your assignment, minus the airpods this time, and Ally got up to go to the kitchen and you could hear her fixing herself a glass of wine.

Ally set a bottle of water next to you on a coaster before settling back in her spot and finding something to watch on TV, and of course you noticed that she was a hell of a lot closer than she was before.

Your pen had paused on the yellow paper and your eyes glanced over the same sentence three times before your mind processed that you could practically feel the heat from her legs next to your arm through her slacks, and if you leaned just an inch you'd be touching her. You fought the urge to look back over your shoulder, but instead you looked up from beneath your lashes and saw that she was browsing the movie channels at a snail's pace.

Behind you, Ally was sipping her wine in one hand and flipping channels with the remote in the other but her eyes were nowhere on the TV screen. But she noticed the moment your pen stopped moving and your shoulders tensed more than usual, she'd been watching you closely and curiously.

“You okay, honey?”

You turned around to answer her with what you hoped was a calm smile and wished that you hadn't, really. Ally was going to kill you sitting the way she was sitting, her energy screaming big dick and the top three buttons of her shirt were undone and her hair was a little messy. Either she was going to give you a heart attack or your libido would.

“Sweetheart?”

You blinked, coming back to reality so fast you would’ve gotten whiplash, “Uh, yeah...maybe I guess I’m just tired too.” Yeah right.

You chuckled nervously, embarrassed really, and licked your lips again and Ally tracked the movement with rapt attention not that you would've caught it because you were busy being mortified being caught staring like a creep.

“Are you sure? You look flushed, drink some water,” you smiled at Ally, ever the mom.

“I’m not—” not what? Thirsty? Yeah you were but not for some water.

“You’re not what?” Ally pressed, still holding you hostage with her eyes alone.

“Not thirsty for water.”

Ally raised an eyebrow, the corner of her lips twitching and you hate that you noticed, “Oh? Then what would you like to drink if it’s not wine or water?”

Good question. One you didn’t have a good answer to. Not trusting yourself to formulate words into an appropriate sentence, you just nodded and turned back around and grabbed the water she brought you. You were determined to ignore until you were finished with your work—for the sake of your sanity and dignity.

Fuck.

Still watching you, Ally laughed quietly into her wine glass and finally settled on a movie, keeping the volume low as she got comfortable. Deciding to let you off the hook for not answering her question. (This time.)

~~

A few days later...

It was another late night for you but you weren't working for Ally tonight, so you went to the gym instead after studying. You were still wearing your tights and sports bra when you left, only throwing on a jacket because the night air and sweat weren't a great mix.

You didn't have anything at home to eat that wasn't expired or so frozen it came from the ice age...it all went in the trash so all you had left in your fridge was a case of water and cheese sticks. It wasn't surprising though, you spent a majority of your free time at Ally's home and you just ate lunch and dinner there usually. So you went straight to the grocery store after your workout with your trainer.

“Hey (Y/n)!” you looked up and internally groaned, rolled your eyes and threw a whole bitch fit.

You offered Sean a tight near sarcastic smile, “Sean. What is up.”

“Nothin',” he said, leaning against the counter he was standing behind with a cheesy smile, his eyes leering—and it made your skin crawl, “Just working...you?”

“Uh,” you were already over this conversation, “Same, anyway—”

“You still work for that crazy killer lesbian?”

You stopped, pivoting back around slowly to see if he was joking or not, of course it was hard to tell because he was looking at your ass, but the minute he turned around his eyes laser beamed to your chest. Specifically your pebbled nipples and the bars pierced in them. You moved the labels of your jacket to cover them fucking pig.

“Uh, my eyes are up here and two, that 'crazy killer lesbian' is your Senator.”

He shrugged, “I didn't vote for her.”

“I'm...okay, it was nice talking to you but I have things to do.”

“Well, wait,” he moved in front of you, stopping your escape, “That's not what I wanted to talk to you about actually, uh, but listen...do you maybe wanna go to dinner with me this weekend? My treat?”

You raised an eyebrow at him, completely unimpressed with his audacity, “You literally just called my boss a crazy killer lesbian and now you're expecting me to go to dinner with you?” as if, you wanted to add but held yourself in check—barely.

“I'm sorry about that,” Sean only shrugged but he was bashful about it but it only served to irritate you further because it was obvious that he didn't quite mean it and you were mentally slapping yourself for just not ordering that damn pizza.

“Whatever, goodnight Sean.”

you tried to move around him but he shifted, keeping you in place and you knew you could've just turned around, you should've but he would've just followed you, “Well wait, you never answered my question. About dinner?”

“No.”

“Well, wait a minute...why not? The lesbian thing? It was just a joke. You can take one, can’t you?”

“And I'm not laughing, get the fuck outta my way Sean—”

“You—”

“I believe she told you to fuck off.”

Sean's eyes snapped up over your head slightly, and you would've laughed at his stupid face had you not been pivoting around yourself, your eyes meeting a very familiar chin and you looked up, but Ally's eyes weren't on you but instead glaring daggers into Sean. He'd be ten feet under if she got her way with that look. You wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of it. (Maybe another version of it...)

“S-senator?”

“Oh, I'm not the crazy killer lesbian anymore? How disappointing.” when Sean could only stare at her like a fish out of the water, Ally stepped forward—a lot closer to you and you didn't have the strength to move or even look away, “I believe you were told to leave. Oh and if I even hear that you looked at or said anything to (Y/n) incorrectly, you're going to have a lot worse than a harassment complaint from a Senator to deal with.”

You didn't see him leave but you heard the squeaks of his sneaker and in seconds flat you and Ally were alone in the cereal aisle and you had absolutely no idea how to even breathe at the moment, much less process that she just saved you from...whatever that even was.

When Ally was satisfied that Sean was gone, she finally looked down at you—there was still a fire in them that you couldn't place but her brown eyes were softer than they were a few seconds ago, and you felt your shoulders relaxing slightly.

“Are you alright, (Y/n)?”

You cleared your throat, taking a small step back—but you still felt exposed under her unblinking stare though not in the same way you felt with Sean, it was the complete opposite, “Yeah thanks to you, so um thanks...a lot. Your timing is impeccable, but what are you doing here so late? Where's Oz? Is he okay?”

Ally smiled at you, shaking her head disturbing her always perfect hairstyle, “Oz is fine, or at least he will be, he must've ate something today at school and it's not sitting well with his stomach,” Ally rolled her eyes but not at the fact that her son had food poisoning but that he had food poisoning from the school lunch. She could only imagine that other children—reforming school lunches was already on her agenda but now she was seriously considering moving ahead of schedule.

“Oh no, how bad?”

“Not too bad...he'll be okay, I'm just here for medicine to stock up on,” Ally reassured you, her eyes flickering over your shoulder for a second, “What are you doing out so late?” and wearing that? She mentally added, but held her tongue because she knew that it wasn't her place to comment on your attire—not that she was complaining about it, but Ally just didn't like the way Sean was leering at you either. She was a hair away from showing him how she earned her title.

Suddenly aware of how much skin you were showing, and that your jacket fell open again but unlike with Sean you didn't feel the need to really cover yourself (even though you knew that you should've). You appreciated her eyes more than his...and probably anyone else's.

“Oh, I went to the gym and since I don't have any food at home...”

Ally chuckled, “Is this your way of asking for a raise?”

“No! No, no you pay me plenty...I'm just too busy to cook is all and then I'm just too tired to eat sometimes. College life.”

“I was teasing, welcome to adulthood. It doesn't stop,” you laughed along with her but you both knew there was truth behind those words.

“I shouldn't keep you, I know you have things to do.”

“You know, I doubt you're going to get a decent nutrient meal here tonight, especially shopping while you’re hungry...” Ally hummed, seemingly thinking hard about something before opening her mouth to carefully speak those words, “You're more than welcome to come home with me for a late dinner if you have nowhere else to be. I'd be more than happy to feed you.”

Heh. Feed me what? You blinked, mildly surprised with how fast your mind went straight to the gutter and you felt your face heating up faster than a house fire, and you had no doubt in your mind that your boss knew exactly what she was doing to you.

But she didn't, Ally didn't have one clue to what was happening in your mind because her own mind was a pile of scrambled eggs while forcing her eyes to stay above your neck. You were both very much still in public.

And the last thing Ally wanted to do was make either you a cliché, especially with her being a public figure in a male dominant career field, both in politics and her restaurant.

“Unless you had your sights set on cereal?” Ally coughed lightly, suddenly nervous and you realized that you'd been standing there staring at her like a moron this whole time.

“No, I'd love to come home with you,” you said cheerfully, meaning every damn word for different reasons, and you smiled at her, before your eyes widened when realizing how forward you sounded, and suggestive as hell, “For dinner! I'd love to come home with you for dinner.”

“Well what else would you be coming for?”

“Dessert.”

Direct result after two blunts...sorry if it's kinda lame tho lmao I went in thinking I was writing smut and gave up somewhere

#ally mayfair richards #ally mayfair richards x reader #ahs cult #ahs x reader #sarah paulson #ahs imagine #american horror story #sarah paulson x reader

[mha-smipy07]

warnings: SMUT, oral (both m/f receiving but m more than f), unprotected sex, language, isn't really a warning but i'm making a part two to this that will be shorter and idk when it will be out.

paring: akaashi keiji x fem!reader

A/n: hii i haven't written anything on here like this before so i hope you like it and feedback would be great or any tips for my writing

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you on your way to the new apartment that your looking at moving in to meet your roommate. you've been looking for a place to move into scene you can't live in a hotel and your parents don't want you living with them now that your in college and dorms where to much monye. being beyond excited about this, like come on 2 bedroom 1 bath apartment that has everything you need and only $300 a month? can't get better than that.

but little did you know you'd be getting a new best friend with benefits.

when you got to the apartment was clean and smelled like? cotton candy? there was a big couch, with a tv in front of it. there's a good sized kitchen with an island.

"so thats my room and that would be your room" he points to the 2 doors, and one is open with you assume is his because the room is somewhat decorated.

"so where's the bathroom?" you ask opening the bedroom door. looking around. there's one two doors in the room next to each other.

"ya one down side is the bathroom is connected between our rooms, and there's no other way to get into it." Akaashi opened one of the 2 doors and there was a bathroom with a shower that takes up one side and the other had a counter and a toilet next to it.

"oh ok" you opened the other door and it's a closet, "i like this place and it's only $300 a month?" you asked looking at Akaashi as he nodded and gives a little yep.

you signed some papers and on you where to moving you shiz in here. Akaashi offered to help move your stuff over and you agreed and the 2 over you headed over your your parents house.

that's was it within 5 hours all your stuff was in your new shared apartment. the house itself was amazing but akaashi was another bonus, tall, nice, respectful, strong, and unbelievably cute and hot.

"un going to order some take out you want some?" he offers as you were organizing your new room.

"um ya sure" you agree and go to grab your wallet but Akaashi stopped you saying he's paying. you tell him what you want trying to keep it cheap.

when he got ack with the food he put it on the coffee table and pulled it closer to the couch. "oh ya i didn't feel a need to have a dining table because i've always watched tv when eating, it's that ok?" he almost looked embarrassed.

"ya ya thats ok dont worry" you fell back onto the couch next to him and turned on the tv. you guys were just eating and getting to know each other

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you and Akaashi have lived together for about 6 months now and without a doubt you have a thing for him. you can't help but let your eyes wanted his body whenever her comes out of his room with some lose sweatpants and no shirt. you could look at him and tell he was an athlete.

every night you two sat on the couch and ate dinner with each other and tonight your gonna try and make a move. you made home made pizza and put the 2 pizzas you made on the coffee table.

"we should watch a horror movie tonight" you said with a smirk on your face. Akaashi look a little surprised because he didn't think you where one for scary movies but he would never turn down a horror movie so he agreed.

he picked the movie and you went to change. you changed into shorts that barely covers your ass, and a cropped tank top. you walked out and dropped your phone, you'd like to say on purpose but it was a accident. but you took advantage of it and bent over in front of Akaashi.

"sorry," you apologize and try your hardest to just give a small smile. you sat a little closer than you normally do. he never questioned your outfit choice because it was a hot due to the broken AC that your waiting to get money too fix. and to be far he was in nothing but some gym shorts and a thin tank top.

you two ate and watch the movie. you started moving closer to him so you where touching his arm. the window was open and a cold breeze came through, so you grabbed a blanket and put it over yourself but Akaashi took some of it and threw it over his legs, throwing his arm over your shoulder pulling your closer.

after about 5 mins you shyly placed your hand in his thigh and he let out a giggle. you could feel his breath on your neck and behind your ear.

"your not that sneaky honey, i know exactly what your trying to do" Akaashi's breath was hot against your skin and his words make your breath get stuck in your throat

"w-what do you mean?" you try playing stupid. "you want me to fuck you dont you? your plan was to turn me on with that little out fit and then bending over in front of me. now putting you hand on your thigh."

you swallow thickly and tried to talk but was cut off

"well your little plan kinda worked. because you do look hella cute in this." Akaashi turned you around and pulled you on to him lap with one swift motion. "know tell me, am i right? you were trying to make me want you?"

you gave a little nod and when you tried to move in to a more comfortable position you felt his semi-hard length on your clothed cunt.

"use your word." his voice was stern and deep. you managed a small "y-yes" out of your throat and you bit your lip. Akaashi smirked and started kissing your neck.

" it was obvious you had a thing for me after like 2 months of you living with me, but i don't mind this" he said against your neck in between kisses. he started sucking softly leaving small red circles on your neck that would be gone by the time you go to sleep.

he hit a soft spot which made you moan a little, encouraging him to suck and bit around that area. you subconsciously started grinding your hips down on to his.

"oo so eager are we?" he asked and let out a small laugh before putting his hands under your shirt. his eyes ask if he can take it off and you give a nod before he threw the shirt across the room.

you started kissing his neck and the grinding of your hips for faster making him hiss a little. you started tugging at his tank top before taking to off him. he unclips your bra and takes it off in seconds, his mouth finding your nipple he started kissing and sucking on it.

he tugged on your shorts and you took those off along with your underwear and he took off his shorts so he was in boxers. you slid off the couch and in between his legs on your knees.

"can i?" you asked hooking your finger around the hem of the boxers on him. he nodded and put his hips up so you could slip them off easily. his cock swung against his stomach and you couldn't wait to feel how heavy he is in your mouth.

you grabbed his cock and wrapped your hand around him. taking a finger from your other hand you pick up the bead of pre cum on the tip of your finger and licked it. your eyes could have rolled to the back of your head just from the taste of him.

you wasted no time putting him in your mouth. he was so heavy on your tongue, but you swirl your tongue around his tip and sucked a little before pushing almost all of him your into mouth in one go. he touched the back of your throat making him throw his head back and let out a short sting of moans. he grabs your hair into a ponytail as you started to set your pace.

"ahh- fuck im gonna come" he warned trying to pull out but you pushed your head down farther and squeezed his balls a little and he came in your mouth.

you looked up at him and swallowed all his seed. you got back up of the couch, straddling his leg and kissed his deeply so he could taste himself on you. he grabbed the back of your head and pushed you closer to him.

his hand creeped between your legs and started playing with your clit making you moan against his lips. he dipped a finger in to your dripping cunt and put his finger in his mouth.

"fuck you are so wet, you liked sucking me off didn't you?" he asked and got a cocky smile. you started grinding against his cock thats now hard again.

"you want me inside you?" he whispered into your ear, in which you nodded as a response. he let out a small chuckle and lifted you up and guided himself in you.

you let out a moan as you slid down his shaft and after you agusted it his size he started bouncing you on his dick. "n-never did i think i-id be fucking you o-on the couch" Akaashi struggled to say between grunts and shaky breaths.

"mm nether did i- ahh fuck right there!" you threw your head back has he hit that soft spot in you. Akaashi adjusted his position under you so he could hold you up and pound into you.

his thrust where sharp and fast. you were so close to your release your eyes started watering because how hard he was going somewhat hurt but the pleasure of your orgasim hit you as you clenched around his cock making him come at the same time.

"ahh damnn fuckk- oh my god" you both stammered out as both of you where trying to come down from your high. after Akaashi got a hold of his breath he got up bringing you with him to his bedroom.

"i hope your ready for more." Akaashi breathed in your ear. he was still half way in you and you tried to move on him but you couldn't. so you started kissing on his neck.

he threw you on his bed and grabbed a tie off his chair. he grabbed your wrist and kissed them before flipping you on your hands and knees pulling a little yelp from you. he tried your wrist together then spread thighs apart.

"you know you have such a pretty pussy, 'm kinda bummed i didn't get to taste it before i came in you,- but now- i came taste myself on you with i like to." his lewd words made you arch your back just a enough he had better access to your throbbing pussy.

he licked a long stripe against your folds, dipping his tongue in you to catch some of his cum on his tongue. after getting his seed on his tongue he licked up your back leaving goosebumps behind.

he quickly returned to your exposed cunt giving it kisses and licking down to your clit to circle his tongue around. damn he was good with his mouth because it didn't take long before you were ready to fall apart and come undone.

"f-fuck akaash im close mm~" you moan as you open your legs more but he stopped. he started kissing and sucking on the back of your thigh and up your ass. before you could look back at him he slammed himself into you.

his pace was ruthless, and the power he had behind his hips was crazy. you were amazed by how loud you were being. all that came out of your mouth was broken moans and slobber collecting on his bed sheets. the new position aloud you to feel every vein and curve of his dick.

he slowed down the pace to where he was barely moving, just grinding his hip into yours.

"f- faster" was all you could utter due to your fizzy head. Akaashi bent over your back to whisper in your ear "come on now, your gonna have to beg for me to go faster darling. but god your pussy is so comfortable" he kissed your neck.

"come on please keiji please go faster i need you" you wine throwing your head back, your turned your head around to look at him. god he was beautiful with his cock lazily moving in and out of you and his shit eating grin on his perfect face.

he reagusted himself and pushed your back down, making you arch it more. the arch was a little uncomfortable but it was long forgotten when your roommate started pounding in to you. after he had a steady pace set you couldn't even make any noise, no moans no nothing. all you could do was sit there and roll your eyes to your brain as Akaashi abused your organs.

"this what you were begging me for right?" keiji bent over you, his sweaty chest on your back as he started kissing and biting at your neck. "you where being such a slut earlier, where did all the big talk go uh?" he taunted you. he moved his hand down to your clit and started rubbing harsh circles around the nevres.

"ah- kashi- t-to much" you wine and wrinkle your face. your lower half burnt so bad but it felt so fucking good. you needed to cum.

"shut up and take it whore." he grabbed your hits for leverage as he pounded into you harders and reassessed for the last time, this time hitting the soft spot that makes you cum every time without fail, over , over and over again.

"'m cl'close, mmm right there f-uck you feel so good" you moan and shoved your head into the bed. you were embarrassed by how you said those kinds of things to him without even thinking, you have never in your life said things like that.

meanwhile when your being embarrassed Akaashi is making it his mission to making you come again. he snuck his hand down your front and to your clit making soft movements. you started moving your hips to meet his and you felt the buildup of pleasure burst inside you. Akaashi growled as you tightened around him.

"mmm god fuck 'm close baby" he actually moaned throwing his head back. his thrust where hard short and fast but it only lasted for 30 secs before he was shooting his seed in you.

he flopped over next to you, trying to calm his breath. he pulled you on to his so that you were laying on his side with your head on his chest. wrapping his arms around you he kissed your head.

out of nowhere he shot up and started carrying you into the bathroom and started filling the bath.

"uh what are you doing?" you asked with a small confused smile. he turned around and looked at you confused "um in cleaning you up, that's what guys normally do after sex" he kissed your cheek and lowed you into the water then sitting behind you.

"oh, no one has done this before" you said looked and playing the the water.

Akaashi wrapped his arms around you resting his chin on your shoulder "well then i think those guys are shitty and don't know how to treat a woman good" you turned around and looked at him with a small smile.

grabbing some soap and a washcloth Akaashi clean you head to toe, making sure not to get any in you when watching his cum out of you. "i don't think i have to take the cum out but i always get worried you'll get pregnant for an infection if i don't" he whispered into your ear and kissed your jaw.

when he was dont rinsing you off he grabbed a towel and dried you off. he gave you one of his tee shirts and threw on some boxers before laying down, and pulling you into the same position but with your legs in between his.

"hey, i just want you to know that nothing has to be weird between up after this but just know, um i like you a lot" Akaashi whispered to you but was looking a way trying to avoid eye contact.

"i love you.."

"i love you too y/n"

#akaashi smut #akaashi x y/n #akaashi keji x reader #smut #akaashi haikyuu #im a shit person #im also a shit writer i know #keiji akaashi #akaashi #haikyu x reader #haikyuu!! #haikyuu smut

[cinnamon-bebe]

Chemtrails (Pedro Pascal x Fem!Reader)

Chemtrails (Pedro Pascal X Fem!Reader)

Summary: "If you died today, would you be happy with the life you've lived?" What happens when you've sacrificed your love for fame and fortune? Despite the glitz and glamour, the Reader is all Pedro can think about. The stars have never been on your side but can you rewrite the plans they have for you?

Warning: Angst, Fluff, Occasional Cursing

Inspired by the song Chemtrails Over the Country Club by Lana Del Rey

"I'm on the run with you, my sweet love

There's nothing wrong contemplating God

Under the chemtrails over the country club"

"Baby what's your sign?"

"You're in the wind, I'm in the water

Nobody's son, nobody's daughter

Watching the chemtrails over the country club"

Pedro's POV

The chatter of a hundred people and yet I still only hear your voice. Memories of your words, from years past.

You asked me what my sign was, I told you I was an Aries. You laughed and told me we shouldn't be friends, the stars say so. The stars say we're incompatible, we'd be at each other's throats. I'm a fire sign and you didn't need any more drama. I kissed you for the first time and told you I'd prove you wrong, you simply smiled and looked off to the chemtrails that flew over us.  

Memories from years past.

I didn't have much to offer you but I told you that you could take my word. At that time, it was worth more than anything I could have given you.

"You want me to defy the stars?" You raised an eyebrow, a smile teasing your face.

"The stars can go fuck themselves." I told you and kissed you again.

We were so young. We were nobodies. Running through the concrete jungle, with your hand in mine. Sun dress and kisses at midnight convenience stores, splitting a hot dog on a summer day because we needed money for the show at 7.

We used to contemplate the meaning of life over a bottle on our little balcony. I asked you if you were happy and you smiled but did not reply.

"If you died today, would you be happy with the life you've lived?" You asked me instead.

"No." I told you. "There's so much more I want to do. I want to be somebody."

I didn't know it then but that was the moment I started to lose you.

Memories from years past.

I find myself sitting at a restaurant now, with more money to line my pockets, pats on the back from strangers. People know my name and it comes out in whispers, as they stare over their expensive plate, getting cold just to catch a glimpse of me.

A beautiful woman sits across from me. As if a movie star isn't a big enough draw, a woman like her only invites more gazes. She looks like she'd just stepped off a screen herself. She gives me all her attention, so much so that she does not register the envious stares from the others around her.

Her lips are moving, perhaps a funny anecdote came to mind or is she telling me about her sister's wedding again that she mentioned before?  I cannot tell you, for my mind is elsewhere, with someone else.

"So would you like to come?" She smiles brightly at me, her perfect teeth sitting between her lips, painted in a dusty pink.  

"Huh?" I snap out of my daze, embarrassed that I was clearly not paying attention.

"Jule's wedding, did you...want to be my date for the day?" She blushes, hopeful.

"Oh. I...uh. I don't know Kate. I have a pretty packed schedule coming up, I don't know if I'll have time." I try to make up an excuse.

"It's too early isn't?" She bites her lip sheepishly. "I'm sorry, I know we've only been dating for a few weeks, I shouldn't have sprung this up on you so fast."

"No no, please don't be silly. I love weddings!" I try to laugh it off. "It's just that, with the new movie coming up, I need to start preparing before we go into production."

"I understand." She nods with a smile, "Comes with the territory when you're dating a big movie star I guess." She looks at me, I'm not sure if she's anticipating a response but I reciprocate with a grin and wave at the waiter for another drink.

Soon enough, she excuses herself from the table to go to the ladies room and I'm left sitting alone at our spot. I grow tiresome of the incessant chattering from the tables around me and I massage the temples of head, wishing I was at home in the comfort of my bed with just the company of my television.

I see glances from a small table to the side of me, a group of young women clearly too shy to ask for a photograph, egging each other on to make the first move over to me. Their hopes quickly dashed as I feel a firm hand on my shoulder, turning me around.

"Pedro?" A familiar voice calls my name.

"Anthony! Fancy seeing you here!" My eyes widen as I pull an old friend down for a hug.

"It's my anniversary with Charlize, we're just celebrating! God I haven't seen you for so long!" He shakes his head, slowly looking me up and down, examining my so-called transformation. I've aged so much since we last we saw each.

"How long have you been here?" I ask.

"A couple of hours, I actually saw you before but I..uh...I didn't want to interrupt your date."

Date? I swallow the word whole.

"You lucky man. She's very pretty." He comments.

"Yeah, she is."

"You could seem a bit more interested though but those are Charlize's words, not mine." He raises his hands up, letting his wife take the blame.

"I must seem like an ass, don't I?" Poor Kate, how spoilt am I to show a woman like her so little interest. "I haven't dated for so long, it's just hard getting back into the scene that's all."

Anthony let's out an inaudible "oh" and I know he's thinking the same thing, I can practically hear the name sitting on his tongue, desperately wanting to come out. 

"How is Y/N?" I break the ice, allowing the elephant in the room an escape before he suffocates along with me.

"She's good, very good actually. She's a documentary film maker now. Her work is amazing, you'd love it." Anthony couldn't help his excitement when speaking about you and I feel an intense pang of sadness and jealousy seeing his eyes light up. To see you, celebrate you. I wonder if you've aged like me or do you still look the same as how I remember. Do you still crinkle your nose every time you hear a bad joke? Do your eyes still get red and glassy when you look at the sky because you're wondering if anyone's looking down on you? I wish I knew.

"Listen, I have to go." Anthony looks back at his wife who gives me a polite wave from a distance.

"It was really good seeing you Anthony, I'm sorry we haven't spoken all these years. It's just with work..." I recycle that old excuse again.

"Don't worry about it...you made it! I know you worked really hard to get where you are now. I know you had to make a lot of sacrifices..." The last sentence, spoken so softly, it was almost drowned out. "I'm genuinely happy for you."

I nod, giving my friend one last hug before I ready for him to turn and leave, instead he hesitates and looks at me.  

"Hey Pedro?"

"Yeah?"

"She still lives in the neighbourhood." He looks down at the scarf in his hand before patting me on my arm. "Just so you know."

With that, he waves me goodbye. Walking back to his wife, who he wraps his arm around. The way she naturally rests into him and slips her hand into his coat pocket as they exit the restaurant, I wonder if I'd ever have that level of intimacy with Kate.  

__________________________________________________

I sent her home in a taxi. "I have an early morning and need to prep for some meetings", my excuse for her this time. Kate's disappointed expression, as I gave her a kiss on the cheek is the last thing on my mind.

Scuffing the cap of my leather shoes, I kick at the pavement. The world moves past me as I hide myself in the bubble of my thoughts. I have no sense of direction, my legs taking me to no intended destination, only letting the neon lights around guide me to where it desires.

Anthony's words were still ringing in my ears.

Would you want to see me?

My mind reminds me of the last time we were together.

"I don't know how much longer I can keep doing this, if I don't leave the city now, I may never get my chanc-"

"Get your chance to do what? Be a star?" You were sat deep in the corner of the sofa, far from me. Your voice calm and monotonous as you watched me pace up and down our tiny apartment. I couldn't decipher your expression, it was as if you knew what I was going to say.

"I want to make something out of my life! I want to prove to everyone and myself that I can make it Y/N. I don't want to waste my life away." I moved towards you, our presence separated by the little vintage coffee table I hated but still bought home because you loved it so much.

"Well then go, I don't want to hold you back from chasing your dreams."

"Y/N-"

"No. It's okay Pedro. I understand...I really do. I don't want to stop you from pursuing what you love." You got up from your spot, you seemed so small to me as you closed the gap between us. Your hand felt so light against my face, like you were disappearing before me. "Don't live in regret because of me."

"Y/N come wi-" I tried to hold you, hold you before you evaporated.

"No. My place is here." You took your hand away, moved back, the space between us grew more and more distant. "I don't have big dreams like you do. I like normality. I like living my life however I want it, do whatever I want, whenever I want. You asked me if I was happy...and I am."

"Would you still be happy without me?"

I stared at you. My gut sank because I already knew this was the end. You didn't have to tell me.

"I don't know..." You managed to smile, even through the gentle tears that formed in your eyes. "But I know you would be without me."

"That's not true." I tried to reach for you but you pulled away.

"We're very different people Pedro...I told you, we're incompatible. It's time we listened to the stars."

My thoughts are suddenly interrupted as I feel a hand rest softly on the small of my back.

"Hello sir, would you like to buy a rose?" An elderly woman smiles up at me. A child stands obediently nearby, holding a bouquet of individually wrapped stems, clearly past his bedtime but still helping Grandma late at night. The child looks tired, sad. Judging by the number of roses still in his hands, they must have had an unlucky day.

"How much for one?" I return her kind smile, taking out my wallet.

"$2. Thank you, thank you so much sir." The old woman sighs in relief calling the child over to bring the flowers for me to pick. Each stem had a handwritten tag with various cheesy sentiments adorned.

....A kiss in exchange for a rose...

...You're more beautiful than any flower but here's one to show you my love anyway...

....Would you be my Valentine?...

....Please forgive me, I was an idiot.

I chuckle at the last one before picking a rose at random.

I take out $100 and watch the old lady's eyes panic as she reaches in her purse to find change. Taking her hand firmly in mine, I assure her it wasn't necessary.

"I'll take one rose for the $100. You keep the rest of the flowers and have a good night okay?"

The woman looks at the child with her mouth agape and then back at me, clearly taken aback by the gesture.

"Sir, are you sure?"

"Yes, take the kid home and get some rest. This one rose itself is worth every dollar." I pat her hand which trembles in mine.

"Thank you! Thank you! Bless you and the woman who receives your rose!"

Taking the child's hand they quickly walk away, whispering to each other and disappearing into the night.

I stare at the flower in my hand and bring it closer to my face, studying the message on the tag.

...Let's defy the stars and write our own destiny.

I stand in the dark of night, illuminated only by the cafe lights ready to turn off for the day. My hand grips the stem as if it weighed a hundred tons yet afraid it would float away like a feather. The frantic honking of the traffic seems to taunt me, the laughter from the bars nearby seem to be mocking this idiot of a man standing in the middle of the streets, holding a flower he paid $100 for.

"Just do it!" I hear a young boy shout at his friend attempting a skateboard trick up the block.

Just do it. I repeat to myself. Just fucking do it.

"Taxi!"

 _________________________________________________

I remember these steps, we used to sit here with the neighbours' kids. Charlie, I think that was his name? I remember little Charlie proposing to you with a plastic ring and threatening to get his kindergarten buddies on me, simply for existing. I can't help but laugh at that memory.

Everyone was in love with you, the young, the old. They couldn't help but fall for your charms, your kindness, the way you'd smile at them even if you've never spoken a word to each other. Everyone was under your spell, including me.

You told me you loved me on these steps.

I had gotten back from a bad audition and couldn't bear to go home to you. I sat here for hours until you saw me from the balcony and came down. You didn't ask me anything. You just sat with me as we watched the kids run up and down the block, racing each other, teasing each other. I looked at you and you gave me a kiss on the nose.

"I love you."

You said it so quietly at first that I pretended I didn't I understand.

You rolled your eyes and pulled my face into yours, telling me you loved me over and over again as you smothered me with your kisses.

That was one of the happiest moments of my life.

Walking past our faded figures, I enter the building and see that nothing has changed.

The walls were the same duck egg green. The bulletin board covered in layers of flyers and advertisement, some new, with plenty dated months back. I wouldn't be surprised if the audition ads I tried out for from years ago were still there.

The smell of various cuisines mingle together to form its own unique indecipherable aroma.

A comforting aroma.

I look to the elevator, still out of order. Obviously.

We only lived on the third floor, the stairs will be fine.

I prepare myself for the incline when a voice calls out to me.

"Where are you going?"

I turn around and see our old building superintendent, decked out in his uniform. Stanley.

"Stan! It's me Pedro! Wow, you're still here!" I walk to him.

"Who?" He looks me up and down, completely confused as to who the hell I am.

"Pedro from 3B upstairs? I used to live with Y/N...maybe you don't remember me because of the moustache." I rub the bottom of my nose sheepishly.

"No...I don't remember you."

Old Stanley, perhaps age is catching up to him.

"I'm just going to see Y/N." I try to resume my journey but he stops me once more.

"No entry into the building if you're not a resident!" He points to the sign on the wall.

"Since when was that a rule?" I throw my hand in the air.

"Since today. We have too many unsavoury men try to come into the building, how do I know if you really know Miss Y/L/N? I'm not letting any potential predators or burglars into the building."

"But Stan she-"

Pointing to the sign on the wall again, he raises an angry brow. Not wishing a full body beat down by ol' Stan, I take myself back out the building like a bad dog.  

I sit on the steps, sighing in defeat. I try to convince myself that coming here is a mistake.

"Defy the stars...pfft! You've been in way too many movies Pedro." I mumble to myself, as I dig my thumb nail into the stem of the rose.

Perhaps we're only given the choice to rewrite our destiny but it doesn't mean destiny would just sit idly by and let you do whatever you want. It's probably for the best. What would I say anyway?

Running my hand through my hair, I get up to leave. The adrenaline from earlier had drained so quickly out of me, that its left me a fatigued mess. Move on Pedro, it's time to go home.

"Hey movie star." A voice calls from above. "You looking for me?"

Your hair falls past your face as you lean over the balcony and in that moment I feel my heart break into a million pieces.

There you are.

Standing before me, even more beautiful than when you left, if that is even possible.

You're wearing a simple white vest and grey shorts, one leg rubbing softly against the other. Your skin bears the warm orange glow reflected from the lights inside your apartment.

You look so raw, so delicate.

Every pulse in my body aches seeing you again.

"Wow." I breathe. "You look..."

You hide your laugh and I can see you blushing from behind your hand.

"Thanks. You look great too. I'm like the...um..." You rub under your nose with your finger.

"Thank you, I grew it out for a role but now people tell me I look like their grandma without it." I shrug, much to your amusement.

"What are you doing here?" You speak, more softly, more seriously.

How do I even respond to this question? I was out on a date with another woman but I bumped into our old friend who told me I should find you? Or should I go with I met an old woman and her kid, who I'm pretty sure were cupid's little minions, sent down to earth to give me a rose and to fuck with me?

"I was just in the neighbourhood. I wanted to see if you wanted to um...go out for a coffee?" I lie.

You look at me incredulously, clearly seeing through my bullshit.

"Everything is shut by now." You simply respond.

"Oh...well maybe we can just talk then?"

You tap the metal rails, where you lay your arms. Are you contemplating whether to come down or throw a bucket of water over me? I guess I'll have to wait and see.

Without saying a word, you disappear out of sight. The lights in your apartment switches off.

What does this mean? Are you off to bed?

Before I could ruminate any more, the doors open from behind me and you slip through.

God, you look even better up close.

My hands instinctively reach out to touch you but I withdraw quickly before you could see. You had wrapped yourself in a fleecy blanket, the threads a deep purple.

Without saying a word, you sit down on the step and I can only follow suit, my mind can no longer make decisions for itself it seems.

You smell the same, that same soft floral scent I used to love. The one I used to breathe in when I'd hold you close to me in bed because I didn't want you to leave for work.

Our knees are so close, they almost touch.

"So what did you want to talk about?"

For a minute I don't know how to respond, I just don't want to stop looking at you.

"I was...I was wondering if you were thinking about me?"

You laugh, I laugh too. Of course you weren't.

"I think about you all the time." You tell me so casually, it catches me off guard.

"You do?" I whisper in disbelief.

"It's hard not to when you're on every other billboard in the city."

Oh.

"I think about you all the time too Y/N."

You smile and look up at the sky. The night is aligned with many stars tonight and they all call for your attention but mine. I feel greedy staring at you but I'm simply making up for all the nights that I was alone without you, all those kisses I've shared with women that weren't you.

"What do you think the stars are telling us tonight?" I ask.

You grin and without looking back at me, you say "I think the stars are laughing at us."

"Do you think the stars have changed their mind about us?"

You finally turn to me, your eyes drop. "I don't think that's how it works Pedro."

"If this is the life the stars have planned for me, a life without you, then I don't want it Y/N."

"Pedro-"

"I thought if I made a name for myself, if people knew who I was, then I'd be sure of who I am...but who I'm meant to be, who I want to be...is to be with you." Your eyes meet mine, coloured with emotions you are scared to express. "I look for you everywhere I go Y/N, in every women I meet but you are always a world away."

"We don't even know each other anymore Pedro."

"You are the only one who has always known who I am, even before me Y/N. I'm still as strange and as wild as I have always been. I'm still as messy and as clumsy as I was before. I still love cheap corner store liquor and dancing terribly in public. I still look at chemtrails whenever they past me...because they remind me of you."

"Chemtrails are bad for you, they say they're chemicals."  You tell me, your voice low and expressionless.

"If I die with you as my last thought, it won't be so bad."

I finally find the courage to reach for you and you don't recoil from me, you let me gently run my finger against the hair that falls down past your face. You close your eyes and I selfishly take you, pulling you towards me.

I rest my forehead against yours and I savour this moment where I can be close to you and not let it be a memory.

"What if I've changed?" You whisper.

"Well then I'll spend the rest of my life getting to know you again."

"If I told you to run away with me tonight, would you?" You open your eyes to see me, your expression as serious as ever.

"You're my home Y/N. I'll go wherever you go. Even if it's to another galaxy, we'll drive a little red Corvette into space together and leave this all behind."

You smile and tug on the bottom of your lip. "You think the stars would still allow us to go to space?"

"Fuck the stars." I say as I take your lips.

Oh, how I've missed the sweetness of your taste; in this moment you are spoiling me rotten. You wrap your arms around me and allow the blanket to drop from your shoulders. The only stars that mattered now are those in our eyes. They're telling me the future and it's you. It's always been you.

The sirens of the city and the plane overhead may be loud but I hear nothing over the sound of your heart beat.

You pull away and we both laugh.

In this moment, we are perfect. I am no longer the famous celebrity that belonged to everyone. I am not a son and you are no one's daughter.

We only belong to each other.

I see you shiver and look towards the door.

"Let's go inside." You get up and take my hand, guiding me back to our home. The one I've longed for ever since I left.

The building is quiet, everyone asleep by this hour but old Stan at his desk. I try to shuffle past as inconspicuously as I could, my hand entwine with yours.

"Welcome back Mr Pascal." Stanley greets us as clear as day, his head not even looking up from above his phone.

"Wha- so you do remember me!"

Sly old dog.

Stanley doesn't respond and concentrates on his screen instead.

You shake your head and pull me up the steps but not before I set down my lucky rose on the desk.

"Good night Stan."

I call out before I chase my love up the stairs, both of us ready to write our next chapter together. I don't know what it will entail but I know if you're in it, it will be the greatest adventure I'll ever take.

"Kids these days." Stan sighs, closing the article on his phone and clicking on a familiar app. Putting his feet up, he relaxes with a smile on his face as the Mandalorian theme song begins to play.

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #the mandalorian #din djarin #javier pena #pedro pascal x reader #narcos #ww1984 #maxwell lord #oberyn martell #game of thrones #frankie morales #triple frontier #pedro pascal imagine #fanfiction #chemtrails #lana del rey

[johnkrrasinski]

one bad day;

full masterlist

Pairings: Steve Rogers x female!reader

Word count: 4,128

Warning: angst, fluff with steve rogers though 

Summary: you just lost your job and you couldn’t find an easy way to tell your boyfriend, Steve about it. lucky for you, he’s the kindest boyfriend you could ever ask for, though. 

a/n: hey there!! i recently got this idea where i was having one of my bad days myself and of course, like most people, one of the reasons was this pandemic. i am also aware of how many people are struggling with finance right now and i truly hope that this fic could ease your pain somehow, even just a little bit. if you are in a really bad place right now; whether it’s financially, emotionally or mentally, or even physically, i truly hope that things get better for you and that you deserve all the happiness in the world. hang in there. i believe in you. if you need someone to talk to but don’t know who, you can message me or dm me on my instagram (@keedyperestroika) anytime. don’t hesitate if you can’t hold it on your own any longer. anyway, enjoy! 

You just had a terrible day. You are currently walking home from work, waiting for the traffic lights to turn into a walking person sign, to let the pedestrians cross the street. You have this fatigued and exasperated look on your face that most New Yorkers have when it's 5 pm and the streets are filled with people carrying their suitcases in their formal attires. But despite the weariness and the stress that is clouding over people's heads, they still walk faster than the subway train that would take these people to their office and back home.

Just like life doesn't stop no matter how worn out you are. It doesn't care whether you are alive or you are dying, it just keeps going at a 132 km per hour. You were supposed to just sit there as a passenger in this speeding vehicle that goes beyond out of your control. So you buried your hands deeper in your pocket and walk as quickly as you can with all the strength you have left. The grumbling crowd behind you isn't going to wait for any second longer.

You had worked in this local cafe called Le Chateau for 7 months now, and the pay is alright but the tip is good on the average days, especially on the weekend. At least it's enough to keep yourself afloat living in Manhattan. But it's not exactly the most amiable environment to work in.

You had to deal with a lot of rude customers who think they own the place and they can say whatever they want to you as if you live to serve them because they have the money. It had been 7 months of dealing with this and it still destroys your mood every single time. So you decided that today was the day that you were going to stand up to yourself and do the right thing.

Earlier today, a man in a white collared shirt and khaki pants walked into the cafe while talking on his phone with a furious tone. You already knew this one would be a pain in the ass to serve, he doesn't seem like the kind of person who would greet you with a smile and order in a cordial manner, so you asked him.

"How can I help you today?" The man doesn't answer. He continues to talk on his phone while lifting a finger signaling you to wait, hold on.

Meanwhile, at 8 in the morning, every cafe in the streets of Sixth Avenue is filled with fast-paced folks who want to make their order, get their coffee, pay for it and flee as soon as possible so they wouldn't be late to work. But apparently, not this man, whatever his agenda is for today, he clearly wasn't in a rush, but that doesn't mean the horde lining up behind him isn't.

He was talking so loudly, screaming his words into the poor ears of whoever is on the other side of the call, he was talking about some improper order that he was supposed to today, meanwhile, everyone in the queue is getting sourer, if humans had their klaxon pressed up somewhere part of their limbs, they would be honking simultaneously and incessantly right now. But this man was too selfish to sense that the people around him were irritated and that time isn't waiting upon him.

"Sir, could you please step aside for a moment if you are not going to make a direct order?" You tried to be as polite as possible, not wanting to piss him off even more.

"Hold on." He notified the callee. "What?"

"I said, could you please step aside if you are not going to make an order right away, people are lining up sir."

"Lady, I'm on the phone about an important business that will cost me millions if I don't take care of this matter right now. Now, you better shut up unless your salary in a year could indemnify my loss." He went back to his phone with his hand on the counter and people were starting to yell, but he still didn't give a shit. He just stood there as if he was the only person in the room.

"Sir, please, step aside for just one moment and come back when you are ready to make an order. You are holding back the line."

He looked at you incredulously as if you had just called him an asshole in a public place. "What the fuck is the matter with you? Don't you know who I am?"

You took a deep breath and tried to calm yourself in 0.0002 seconds before answering, "I'm not trying to be rude here sir, I am simply asking you to just step aside so that other people could make an order and you could wait for your turn when you are done with your call."

"Hey, I make $20,000 per hour and I am not going to waste a single minute talking to you or waiting in a line of another 20 people ordering their tasteless drinks while I could be making another 20,000, I could buy this whole cafe in one night if I want to and where would you be? In the streets begging for shitty jobs of scrubbing toilets or taking out the garbage so shut up or I'm going to make that a reality for you."

You couldn't believe the words that had just been vomited all over you. It felt like you had just been stripped down naked in an open space. You had dealt with countless impudent customers but no one had ever been as obnoxious as this guy.

He had straight-up humiliated you as if you were nothing but a slave. You couldn't hold yourself back any longer, the ounce of patience in you was wearing thin, so you did what you knew you always had to do. You fought back.

You scoffed and shook your head. "You know what, I don't give a fuck how much you make money per hour or that you can buy this cafe in one night. Men like you think you own everything and everyone? And that you can just treat people however you want? Well let me be the one to tell you this asshole, you are just an insolent piece of shit."

And that's how you ended up losing your job. Yup, by standing up to a corrupted man. Your manager, Brock Rumlow, had called you to his office later that day and had taken the job to be the second person to scream at you that day as if you were nothing but an owned slave who had just broken your master's favorite vase. Even though you had explained the whole incident, he still didn't give a single fuck about your explanation.

"It doesn't fucking matter! He is a customer, an important one! What do I always say? Customers are the kings! You don't talk back to them, you don't raise your voice to them, you don't glare at them! You. Serve. Them. Well." He asserted each word with a stern glare that could cut your skull wide open. "And if they told you to fucking wait for them, then you better fucking wait for them!"

That's what it's like working in a big, expeditious city that is owned by capitalists and men in charge, sitting on their throne with their feet up their servants' backs to keep them cozy. You had enough. You had enough of the shitty attitudes, inappropriate customers who try to flirt with you, and your overbearing boss.

So you carried your heavy steps on the pavement to the building that you live in. This day had been such chaos to you that you just want to go home to your boyfriend. Your boyfriend, Steve Rogers, who would always try to comfort you on your worst days by ordering you pizza or offer to give you a massage after a seemingly-never-ending way.

His blue eyes that would calm the raging storm inside of your heart and his tender touches that would shut the vicious words in your head away. His kisses that would melt you like ice cream on a summer day, but also, made you feel safe and protected. Like you know it's gonna be okay. You just do. The promise is in his kisses.

You walked home to a tranquil environment. A place with a few potted plants here and there, a soft 40's music playing somewhere in one of the rooms, and to a large, muscular man in a dark blue shirt that is doing a poor job at fitting his muscles. He was wearing an apron with a picture of a white, furry cat holding a ball in front of it and he had a spatula on his right hand.

"Hey babe, you're home!" He greeted you with that lovely smile you have missed.

"Yes, I am. Are you cooking?" It was hard for you not to smile at the heartwarming image despite your awful mood.

"Yeah, I am. I figured we should eat something home-cooked today... We have been ordering too many takeouts, my organs are starting to give in." And at that attempted joke, he smirked.

You couldn't help but laugh at how horrible that joke is. Also, at how adorable and proud he looks at that joke. He would always try to make you laugh with his featherbrained humor and his even better attempt at it.

You shook your head subtly and spoke up, "I'm pretty bushed, think I'm gonna treat myself with a nice long bath first."

"Okay, sweetheart." He gave you a peck on the lips. It was brief but enough to elevate your somber mood. At least for now.

You stripped yourself out of the clothes that you wore from your former workplace to home, put your hair in a messy bun, and threw in your favorite lush bath bomb that would make your bath experience far way more pleasant in this bleak evening. You poured yourself a glass of red wine and turned on your favorite Jazz music playlist.

You needed to clear your head after the long, hard day. You were trying to come up with ways on how to initiate the conversation about telling him that you had just lost your job and that you had an unfortunate incident earlier that kinda got your own ass fired, as your former boss spat.

The truth is, you and Steve had been dating for three years before you both decided to move to Manhattan. You and Steve used to live in Brooklyn and had moved a year ago. You used to live in the same neighborhood, went to the same school, and had been friends since childhood but were never really close. You knew his best friend though, Bucky Barnes, Brooklyn's most eligible bachelor, the playboy with a pretty face that could make a lot of girls and boys weak at the knees, that would take different ladies on a date every Friday night but never settled for one.

Steve was a lot smaller and skinnier back then, he wasn't the huge, muscular man with the perfectly trimmed beard sitting on his face that he is now that could've taken any girl that he wanted on a date. He was shy and introverted, unlike Bucky who was outgoing and confident. Sometimes it dazes you that these two were really best friends, they were too different in a lot of aspects.

You also knew Sarah Rogers, Steve Rogers' mom who had raised him as a single mother, all on her own because, his father, Joseph Rogers was an abusive husband who used to beat Sarah up after he got wasted every night and would often threaten to kill her. So one day, Sarah decided that she had enough, she took up every bit of penny that she had in her purse and gathered all the courage that she had within her to leave him and bring 4 years old Steve Rogers with her. They found a nice, little house in Brooklyn. It wasn't much but it will do for the two of them. It was only her and him since that day.

By the time you both went to college, you went on separate ways. You had gone to Colombus Culinary Institute in Ohio, and Steve had gone to Rhode Island School of Design. After you both had graduated, you came back home to Brooklyn. On one fortunate Autumn day, you went shopping at the convenience store which was located near your home, you crossed paths with Steve Rogers, the scrawny, sickly fella that you used to know, now all grown up and buffed up. He is so... handsome. You had never noticed how lustrous his oceanic eyes are.

Despite all the glow up that he had, his gentle demeanor still hadn't changed.  He was still that shy, introverted kid who would blush at the slightest human contact with a woman.

He had bumped into you in the dairy section whilst you were too busy ruminating on which cardboard milk you wanted to buy, on the opposite direction, Steve was too busy checking through the list on his phone, ensuring that every single item that he had noted down on his phone had been checked off. And so, the little incident happened.

You had caught up with how things had been for the two of you during college, never realizing that the sparks had always been there, you were just too young and foolish to let it lead you to anywhere. Next thing you knew, you were saving up to move to Manhattan.

Steve had decided to move to the big city with the hope of becoming a professional artist and hoping that he would open his own gallery someday. Of course, that wouldn't be as easy as finding an empty space in the town and transfer your money. Like you said, Manhattan is expensive. Much worse than Brooklyn.

Steve had graduated from RISD with an art degree as he had always possessed a raw talent in art and painting. He was always brilliant in designing and drawing too. You believed in him, and he believed in you. You, on the other hand, wanted to be a chef at a five stars restaurant with the hope that you could save up enough money to open your very own five stars restaurant. But of course, those dreams wouldn't happen overnight too. You had to work twice as hard and so, you were left with nothing but the choice to become a waitress slash cashier at a cafe, which now had forfeited. Now you were going to have to find another admissible job that could at least help you stay afloat for now.

You had lost track of time of how long you had been in the bathtub. You were getting drowsy but your stomach started to make grumbling noises that signaled you that you had to have the conversation tonight. You thought about postponing it 'till the morning, maybe you could suck him off and make love to him before you sleep. Yeah, that seemed like a perfect way to initiate the daunting conversation. At least he'd feel a little more relaxed than before, but no, you were an adult, and adults communicate things out. Not keep secrets from each other and dodge dreary conversations.

You got out off the tub, dried yourself with a towel, and wrapped yourself in a cotton bathrobe that had always fit your body perfect and comforted you on days like this. You walked out of the bathroom, and saw your boyfriend's broad back facing you, he was still in the kitchen, but he had finished his cooking. He was currently cleaning the tiny kitchen counter off the remnants that had smeared the tiles.

You leisurely walk toward him, circling him with your arms and pressed your chest, and rested the left side of your face against his broad back. This is your safe place, your little bliss on earth. Where you can feel him so close against you. Your fingers roam all over his firm chest and closed your eyes and just relish in this pleasant moment. You let yourself get lost in his warmth, savor the strong man that you had come to know as home.

He chuckled and took your hands in his and kissed the palms. It's like he could read your mind before you even said a word. He had learned about you intimately for way too long to not understand it by now.

"Bad day?"

"Worse."

"Hm. Wanna talk about it?"

"Later, maybe, but for now, I just really wanna spoil myself with my boyfriend's amazing culinary skills."

"Okay, now you are just mocking me."

"I'm not! As a future chef myself, I know good food when I eat one. And when the man who makes them is a five stars meal himself, it wouldn't be so hard to cook one."

Despite having been dating for three years, you still flirt with each other like teenagers pining over each other. You were grateful to have such a loving man who never stopped making you feel cherished even when you couldn't believe in yourself. He'd always be there for you, to back you up, to encourage you and help you reach the finish line, and you would do the same for him without a single doubt.

You two sat on your tiny dining room, eating in comfortable silence. He told you about the client that had called him for the second time that week to book him for the weekend. He said the client told him that after many considerations, she liked his work best amongst other artists she had looked through. She wanted him to paint a portrait of their family because she "believed that painting is the most delicate form of art." With her own words. He was excited to bring out the passionate artist in him once again.

You nodded as you chewed you food and braced yourself to finally bite your tongue and unleash the words that had been gnawing the insides of your stomach. So you took a deep breath and said; "I just got fired today."

Steve stopped scooping the mashed potatoes that he wanted to mix with the honey butter chicken he meticulously put together a couple of hours ago. He sat there frozen, eyes glued to the cuisine placed neatly in front of him.

You and Steve had been struggling to make ends meet, with both of your average income just barely enough to pay the bills and cover up the expenditure, you didn't have much when you first came into the city, but at least when you started working at La Chateau, the burden of your bankroll had become less tyrannical. Steve had to wait for clients to hire him to receive incomes, which is only occasional, you'd never tell him to get another job because he believed in his dedication to his art and he told you once that he would lose his mind trying to do what he wasn't born to do.

However, with the dire situation you two are currently stuck in now, well, it's only been less than 24 hours but, it's going be the circumstances you two will have to endure for God knows how long. You were hoping that by having this conversation as soon as possible, you two are going to come up with a solution on how to survive.

"What happened?" He finally gazed into your eyes with that ridiculously sexy disappointed look on his face. Even when he's not in the most cheerful mood, he is still insanely attractive, it should be a crime.

You explained the whole incident, starting from when that prick walked into the cafe and to the last thing your boss said, no, no, yelled at you.

You were bracing yourself for the even worse discouraged words coming from his mouth, you were expecting that he'd get up and storm into your bedroom so he could clear his head and then maybe, maybe, after that he'd be ready to talk to you. He would never hit you or blame you, positively never, but sometimes when he's angry or he's downhearted, he would shut himself away and would utter very few words when it's absolutely necessary.

You hated seeing him like that. You hated seeing him dismayed, you hated seeing that scowl on his face caused by the stress of life. You would always try to give him a massage, or rub his back as to offer comfort. You were lucky if he even spoke a few words about his feelings to you. Which happened only once, a couple of years ago, when his mother died due to tuberculosis. She had been sick for several years before that. It had only gotten worse during the last six months before she passed away. You had never seen Steve so vulnerable before and you remember holding him tight until he fell asleep in your arms.

You hadn't realized that you had started crying and tears were brimming in your eyes. You felt your vision started to become blurry and you saw your boyfriend, got out of his chair, and walked up to you so he could comfort you the way you had alleviated him from his demons before. He got down on his knees and put his hands on your shoulders to ease the tension on them. Wordlessly, he embraced you in his arms and you put yours around his neck to hold on to him even tighter than you ever did. You needed him, and you wanted to feel him as close as possible.

You sobbed even harder than you planned on, hell, you didn't even plan on to turn this into a poignant conversation for the two of you. But you couldn't help it, the emotions had taken a toll on you and you were finally able to just let yourself fall free into the love of your life, let everything sink and pour it out bit by bit before him.

He spoke up with a gentle voice, "honey, I'm proud of you, for standing up for yourself like that. You did what was right, you did what you should've done a long time ago. I couldn't bear the thought of people treating you like that, you deserve to be surrounded by people who revere you and an environment that makes you happy."

"I know, Steve, but now I don't know how we are going to pay our bills, how we are going to fill our fridge, and how we are going to-"

He shushed you and grabbed your face in his calloused hands. "Honey, we are going to figure this out.  We always do. I have faith in us, and as long as we got each other, we are going to be okay. I promise you."

"How can you be so sure?" you stifled.

"Because I remember when I was skeptical about our future, you were there, and you convinced me that we'd come through. I mean, look at how far we've come! Remember when we thought we would never save enough money to rent a place in Manhattan? But we were wrong. Remember when we thought, we wouldn't be able to fill in our gas tank? We overcame that too."

"But it's going to be different now that I am unemployed, and I am getting even further than I was before to my dreams."

"Honey, all setbacks are just a hitch along the journey. I promise you, we can defeat this together, you and I. I am getting hired for the weekend, aren't I? I made a promise that I'll take care of you and I will hold on to my word. I love you."

"I love you too. Thank you for never giving up on me. I don't know how I got so lucky to end up with you."

"You've done the same for me and you would do it again. And I can say the same thing about you. On my worst days, I'd wonder how you still haven't left me yet."

You flashed him a smile, a genuine one this time, it wasn't much but it will do for now. And you were content to have this man by your side to go through all the highs and the lows with.

"There's that beautiful smile. Now, how about we finish our dinner, and we can go cuddle in our bed okay? Whatever tomorrow will be, let it be. We'll figure it out step by step."

"Sounds good."

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