#but the thing is. my whole life I've been like IF ONLY I HAD PERFORMANCE SKILLS

[leidensygdom]

Ok, I'm gonna start a post idea I had been pondering. If you're either mentally or physically disabled and you have opinions about representation, this is the thread for you!

So, I've been seeing more people trying to tackle the topic of autism in their stories, but I've felt some of it tries to woobify a bit what is to live with autism, or just focus on the more socially acceptable quirks of it. And as someone with autism/ADHD (was suspected of it for most of my life, got it finally diagnosed by my therapist (who specializes in autism and ADHD) last year), sometimes I'd like for people to acknowledge the more unsavoury parts of it, the weird quirks, etc.

So, this post is going to be about that- If you wanna help people understand how your disability/neurodivergency affects your life, feel free to add to it! Just mention what do you have (no need for a full list, just what you consider relevant to the post) and some experiences, quirks, anecdotes or such that you think that are not often seen in stories or media, and that you consider an important part of it. They don't need to be huge things! I encourage people to share just whatever they feel comfortable. My list is gonna be a mix of stuff, but yours can be very different. Let me start!

Clothes and how they feel was surprisingly one of the most disruptive parts of my autism. As a kid, if I was forced to wear something that caused me some bad texture/sensitivity issues, it would significantly affect my behaviour and performance. It took me many years to be allowed to use mostly sportswear. (And it turns out being a "girl" (not anymore) wearing only sportswear tends to cause a whole lot of bullying)

This happens even nowadays. I've found out that non-heeled boots are more comfortable to me than sport shoes, because feeling something against the back of my foot makes me feel overwhelmed. I tend to wear yoga pants under actual pants, because they keep the actual pants' seams from causing sensory issues. There's almost a sort of ritual on how do I need to combine clothes to be able to function "normally", mostly consisting on reducing how much they annoy me.

On that topic, hygiene is actually a huge thing too. As a kid, I wasn't allowed to shower daily. Days I didn't shower, no matter how much I tried to keep my hygiene in other days, were "bad days" to me. I would literally plan hanging out with friends or eating out around the days I was allowed to shower. I could physically feel the difference between the day I showered and the day I didn't (even if I washed my face, armpits, used the bidet, etc).

This is true even nowadays. I can thankfully now shower daily, which isn't recommended by a lot of experts (specially because it can damage your hair and skin), but it's more worth to me than having days where I feel like I shouldn't be seen in public.

Being overwhelmed sucks! Meltdowns are mostly associated with kids, mostly because adults either learn to mask them, or do everything they can to AVOID having that meltdown. I've mostly figured out routines and such. There's this one place we go eat out every other Tuesday- And in the hours we go in, there's a sort of silent corner that is always free. This week's schedule was a mess, so we went yesterday to that same place, and the silent corner was filled with a very loud group. I got extremely overwhelmed. But enough masking drilled to me means I just sat there unable to talk for maybe 30 minutes.

Autistic adults still do have autism and experience often the full spread of traits, they've just found ways to mask, or avoid being in situations where they do need to do that. I've adapted my life and routine to that. But sometimes I land on situations out of my comfort zone that will make me feel just like when I was a kid. I want to freelance online because I'm fully aware I can't perform properly in a public facing job.

Group projects sucked so much. I know they suck for most people, but most times it was easier for me to do the entirety of the project by myself and add the others' names to it than dealing with chasing people for their parts. My college had a 6-months-long massive group project in the last year, with a 7 people group, which obviously I couldn't do alone. The whole experience was so harmful in so many ways I've had several full therapy sessions talking about it :'')

One of the reasons it's because mental flexibility is HARD with autism. If i set a schedule, I expect that schedule to be followed. If people agree to do a part, I expect that part to be delivered (unless there's a proper reason) on due time. People hate this a lot usually! It will tear group projects apart!

Stimming can be harmless, or it can be very annoying to some. I tend to shake legs and play with something in my hands. I could easy this off drawing in classes- My high school found out that I was paying more attention when I was allowed to draw in classes, and my academic performance was pretty much perfect, so they gave me permission to do that.

However, I had a teacher in middle school that did forbid me from drawing. I stimmed during a class with pens- She got so mad she sent me home with a note to my parents they had to sign. Fun!

Not exactly an anecdote, but I am ace. I hate the discourse about "making an autistic person be aro or ace is infantilizing autism". Aro/ace people can have autism. That's just how it is. I've been infantilized a lot for being ace- Which only got worse because I am autistic, and people perceived some of my special interests as child-ish. The combo didn't make things easy.

On that topic, people will often be very patronizing of your opinions or takes for being autistic. I've had people debate my sexuality (or lack of thereof), my gender identity and presentation, my hobbies, my preferences for everything, down to "what do you want to eat tonight?". This isn't too different to shitty takes about how "autistic people are more prone to being affected by the trans activistsTM", because people assume autistic people can't choose on their own. Trust me: We can.

Anyhow, I'd love if this post could be a good compilation of these sort of anecdotes! I think it could help people who wanna learn more about what is it to live with specific disabilities (and how to better portray them in media)

#nd #neurodivergent #neurodiversity #disability #disabled #autism #adhd #neurodivergencies #long post

[thedreadvampy]

the really fun thing about performing drag for my friends is that they're super unobservant

twice now I've done a number towards the middle of the night where I've been going around for hours wearing a secret reveal piece and NOBODY has clocked it even though it's shoddy as hell

when I did my Noel Coward bit I was walking around in velcroed together tearaway trousers with braces attached UNDER the waistband and for like 3 hours I kept having to sneak off to revelcro the waistband bc it was coming apart. every time I moved it sounded like bubble wrap popping. and yet everyone was fully gagged when they came off

Saturday night I had a whole full size pride flag hidden in my tits all night. and I have H-cup tits already and was wearing a corset so finding space for that was an achievement. Sam poked my boob and was like WOW THAT'S RIGID and I was just like 🤷‍♀️ corsets man.

(nobody got it on film but the denouement of my fucking. 10 minute dance number why didn't I use the radio edit. was pulling out the flag to the line 'and the last thing I see is my heart still beating, breaking out of my body and flying away')

but the thing that really tickled me is I did it again towards the end of the night for someone who arrived late. and despite me very obviously picking up the flag and excusing myself from the room AND repacking it really shoddily so you could fully see it in my cleavage. like 3 people were exactly as surprised as they were the first time they were like WE DIDN'T THINK YOU'D PULL OUT THE REVEAL AGAIN.

I love them I love my friends not one of them has working eyes.

#I'm talking like I'm doing Real Drag when what I'm doing is going a bit overboard on doing a little dance for my friends #but the thing is. my whole life I've been like IF ONLY I HAD PERFORMANCE SKILLS #and the idea that people might ENJOY WATCHING things that come really naturally to me #dancing lipsynching costuming makeup #is intoxicating like. I'm turning into a narcissism monster I'm just coming out here like #COME TO MY HOUSE AND WATCH ME DO A LITTLE DANCE I'M GOING TO BE SO IMPRESSIVE #BUT LIKE not to be narcissistic bc #my friends are so good at this stuff too #my pal did Jessica Rabbit and Kofi sang Why Don't You Do Right live while they lipsynced along and danced #jay did OK2BGAY which was such a blast from the past i lost itttttt #Sam sang Snake Eater while wearing a skirt covered in teeth #like 4 of us drunkenly did an impromptu rendition of Cell Block Tango #but also when i say why didn't i use the radio edit. bat out of hell is 9 and a half minutes long and i was very energetically going for it #and after both performances i was so out of breath i had to go sit and breathe in the other room for like 10 minutes #that's a workout man #also i was pretty far gone the second time and after 1 and a half successful runthroughs dancing in platform heels #i fell over while trying todo the squatting backwards walk thing and knocked everything off the bookcase #think i recovered well but i have a big and quite sore graze on my knee #anyway if i can convince ppl to be into a third drag night i might organise a lipsync tournament #bc my friend kept suggesting it with increasing enthusiasm but then we couldn't pick a song everyone knew #so i think it needs a bit of ahead of time crowdsourcing #red said

[lockea]

I've been seeing a lot of Discourse around outdoor cats that talks past one of the biggest problems addressing community cats/outdoor working cats so I thought I'd chime in with my two cents.

Many arguments I see just... don't think about the cats at all? Or don't consider the logistics of actually addressing the feral cat problem in a humane way. It's always about how outdoor cats shouldn't be outdoors, which is neither realistic nor helpful.

I used to volunteer at an municipal animal shelter in the USA that had a TNR program (Trap, Neuter, Return) and also adopted out community cats to local farms and businesses. Here's my side of the story.

"Your cat doesn't need to be outside" -- Yes, correct. Your domesticated (non-feral) house cat does not need to go outside at all. They can have a fully actualized life safely indoors. When I see this argument, proponents of indoor only cats are correct in most or all their arguments regarding this.

"Outdoor cats are the largest invasive species in the world, and decimate bird populations." -- This is also correct, and part of the reason why you can help by bringing your house cat indoors. Cats are the largest invasive species. Spay and Neuter your cats, bring them inside, and socialize them so they don't become feral.

"TNR doesn't work." -- False. Whether we like it or not, feral cats exist. We have two methods by which we can address the feral cat population -- decimating them (humanely euthanizing the whole colony) or TNR. For a long time, euthanasia was the preferred way to address the feral cat problem. Afterall, if the cats aren't there, doesn't that save the local wildlife population?

Except that we found, studying these colonies, that when a colony is wiped out, the cats of another colony will spread into their territory and continue to have kittens and the population of feral cats is neither controlled nor diminished.

Hence, TNR. What we found performing TNR on cat colonies was that this controlled the population of the colonies, allowing them to stay in their territory, which kept other colonies from spreading (especially colonies we hadn't performed TNR on yet). We at the shelter felt this was the most humane way to control the feral cat population and safely deflate their existence without dealing with the population blooms that euthanasia caused.

"What about kittens?" -- Kittens from these colonies were brought into the shelter, socialized, and fostered out until they could be adopted. Some of these semi-feral kittens needed special homes to be adopted into, but this was the best quality of life for these cats.

"What about cats that get missed during TNR?" -- We would return to the colony several times over a period of several years to perform TNR on the same colony. We mark cats that have been neutered by clipping their ear (this is done humanely, but is the most reliable way to tell if a cat has been neutered so the poor thing doesn't have to have surgery 3-4 times in their life). Also, during the TNR process the cats would be vaccinated to ensure disease did not spread from the colony (i.e. rabies). Still, even getting 60% of the colony TNR'd would dramatically reduce the number of kittens being added to the colony each year. This controlled the population by allowing the territory to naturally deflate in size over time, buying us time to address the larger feral cat problem.

"What if the colony was in an unsafe location?" -- There were two ways we addressed unsafe colony locations -- remember, we know that when the colony is removed, a new colony will move into its place, so we tried not to move the colony unless we really felt the cats or the public was unsafe -- one was to move the whole colony to a new location. Preferably someplace like a warehouse where we have an agreement with the owners of the warehouse. Some of the cats were even relocated to shelter grounds as our community cats. If the colony was small enough we would bring them into our Feral Cats room and adopt them out as community cats.

"What is a community cat?" -- The way the program worked, was that anyone who needed a working cat could apply to the program. These were often rural farmers or businesses with warehouses that needed rodent protection. We trained the farmers and businesses on how to acclimatize the cats to their new home, and as part of the agreement, they had to care for the cats (veterinary care, vaccinations, food and water). This gave businesses and farms an alternative to expensive and environmentally unfriendly rodent control, and also gave these feral cats good places to live out their natural lives.

"Can't you just adopt out feral cats?" -- No. Cats that have not been socialized around humans as kittens, or who have several generations of feral cat in them could not interact with humans in a way that did not cause them undue stress. This was not a humane way to handle feral cats. However, when a cat was brought into the feral cat room, they would be monitored for up to a week. If the cat displayed signs of being semi-social or fully social (hanging out outside of their den, allowing staff to pet them, showing interest in staff in the room), then we would either move the cat into the adoption room or place them in foster to be socialized before adoption. Feral cats who displayed signs of being able to live full and healthy lives with human companions were NOT adopted out as community cats. We also observed this behavior during TNRs and would do the same for those cats too.

"But aren't cats bad hunters?" -- Compared to other species, cats are not the most effective form of rodent control. This is true. However, you have to understand that feral cats exist. There is no "undo" button we can push to stop them from existing. We have to deal with the problem we have right now, which is to safely and humanely decrease the number of feral cats in our communities. And yes, we do that by using cats as rodent control in the community.

"What can I do?" -- Stop saying community cats shouldn't exist. That's not helpful and doesn't solve the problem we have. Bring your cat indoors. Spay and neuter your cats. Adopt from shelters. Volunteer with a TNR team. Support TNR efforts in your community. Recognize that those of us actively dealing with the community/feral problem are trying to do what is in the best interest of our communities and the animals we love. We aren't sitting over here saying these cats should exist -- a feral cat will not have the same quality of life as one that is indoors with a family -- but we have to address the problem in practical terms. We don't have the moral high ground to just do nothing while pontificating solutions that have no basis in actuality.

And yes, it's okay to celebrate community cats. If your local farm has a couple of working cats, that means that farm is helping participate in the safe deflation of the feral cat population. Don't shame a farm or business for using community cats. We're all doing the best we can to solve the problem that we have.

#long post #community cats #working cats #cats #tumblr discourse

[idyllicidols]

Cheat Day.

Another request. I forgot if the person wanted to stay anonymous so I'll leave them out to be safe. Something different with it being third person, but it felt needed with the content.

TW: gangbang

***

Wonyoung was always expected to be perfect. Her days were filled with endless rehearsals, rigorous diets, and sleepless nights. She yearned for a life of freedom, where she could make mistakes and be herself. Her long awaited day off was under commencement–and mistakes were definitely going to be made.

Three of her most dedicated fans, handpicked by the dollesque idol herself, received a private DM from an unknown account with a time and address. They were apprehensive about the message, but the never before seen photos piqued their curiosity.

The room was dimly lit, the only sound being the soft hum of the city outside. Wonyoung, clad in a silk robe, stood before them, her eyes sparkling with anticipation. She took mental notes on each one as they introduced themselves.

"Donghyun." She recognized him as a man who had been to nearly every concert and fan meet–his loud screams often heard over all the other fan chants. The messy haired boyish man looked like he just got off work. A disheveled suit with his tie loosely knit. Now that he was in such a private setting, he looked at her with an innocent admiration.

"Minsoo." The hottest of the bunch. His right arm covered in tattoos, his hair perfectly sculpted, but not greasy. He gazed upon her as if he already knew what she had planned. If the other two failed, she could depend on him for a good time.

"Junho." A recognized community member. Almost her whole fandom and group members knew of him. Her most dedicated fan. At every event, making sure to capture her in the perfect light. His fancams were the most popular, some even doing better than official recordings. A casual friendship had grown, and this was her way of showing her appreciation.

Her voice was steady and confident as she spoke, "Tonight, I'm not an idol. I'm not a performer. I'm yours, to do with as you please."

Junho and Donghyun exchanged astonished glances, their minds racing with the implications of her statement. They couldn't believe the woman they had idolized for so long would offer herself so freely. But Minsoo smirked expectedly.

Junho spoke up, "Wonyoung, we can't take advantage of you like this. You're an idol, and we're just fans."

Wonyoung's expression turned determined. "You can't deny me this. I've been living this life..always holding back, always being the perfect idol. Tonight, I want to be something else."

Donghyun joined in, "But you could ruin your reputation."

Wonyoung's voice hardened, "I don't care about my reputation. I want this. I want to be used, to be fucked."

She looked to Minsoo, her eyes pleading. She was right, she knew she could depend on him to get things rolling.

"If you're sure, Wonyoung, we can't deny you anything."

With a sultry smile, Wonyoung nodded, "I'm sure."

Minsoo undressed her slowly, untying the knot to her robe. She let it fall off her shoulders, the light from the window acted as a spotlight to her perfectly slender naked body. She was a tiny, delicate thing, but one with fire burning within her. The other two watched in awe as his hands roamed her body while his tongue explored her mouth.

He easily lifted her up and tossed her on the bed, his kisses trailed down from one pair of lips to her other. His hands were rough, their movements urgent and demanding.

"You cucks going to just watch or join in?" Minsoo aggressively berated the other two men into action.

Donghyun was the next to act, seizing this rare opportunity, kissing and touching wherever he pleased. Wonyoung moaned in pleasure as the two men grasped at her body. But she couldn't help but feel bad for Junho.

"Join us sweetie…" She called out to him. "... You can record this too if you like, just make sure you keep it to yourself…" flashing a sly smile.

That was all it took. Junho set up his camera, then joined in on the fun. He knew he would never get a chance like this again, and wasn't going to miss out.

Without another word, the three men moved in unison, Minsoo between her legs, Donghyun and Junho each taking one of her breasts in their hands and began to fondle them gently. Their thumbs brushed over her already sensitive nipples, sending shivers down her spine.

"Oh, god," she gasped, her head falling back as she felt a sudden rush of pleasure wash over her.

"Is that good, baby?" Junho asked, his voice filled with concern and desire.

She nodded, her breath coming in short, ragged gasps. "Yes, it's so good."

As the men continued to pleasure her breasts, their hands moved in a rhythmic pattern that had her on the edge of ecstasy. Minsoo was gifted at his craft, his tongue danced against her wet folds.

"Oh, God," she cried out, her body trembling with pleasure.

His tongue moved in slow, deliberate circles, the pressure building with each pass. Wonyoung's breath caught in her throat as she felt the pleasure growing, spreading throughout her body until she was sure she couldn't take any more.

And then, suddenly, the pressure was gone, and she was left feeling empty and wanting.

"Please," she begged, her voice pleading. "I need more."

Minsoo smirked, knowing he had Wonyoung right where he wanted. He spread her legs wider, revealing her sensitive, throbbing clit to his waiting mouth.

"Oh, fuck," she gasped, her hands clawed at the sheets as pleasure washed over her once more.

Minsoo began to suck on her clit, his tongue moving in rhythmic, deliberate motions that had her body convulsing in pleasure. Then the final nail in the coffin, his middle and ring fingers dug into her wet quivering pussy. Squelching sounds echoed out with his fingertips constantly brushing her g-spot.

"You're gonna make me cum!" she screamed out, her voice strained and desperate.

Her body tensed; involuntarily trying to fight off the pressure that was overwhelming her system. But the other two held her down as they continued to explore her body. The pressure built in her stomach had nowhere else to go, a stream of sticky clear fluid shot out of her, her strongest orgasm in months taking over.

"Oh, god," she gasped, her voice barely audible over the sound of her own pleasure. "It feels so good."

An orgasm that intense should've left her helpless, but this was her only night of escape. Her animalistic desires insatiable, she rose from the sheets, her thin body covered in sweat.

"I'm gonna ride your fucking cock."

Wonyoung demanded as she pushed Junho on his back. He watched as the idol he's fantasized about so many times slowly lowered her mess of pussy onto his cock. It was better than he could ever dream, so tight and so warm, he never could have imagined how good she felt.

"You're so tight." Junho cried out.

He had to pinch himself to make sure he wasn't dreaming. But it got even better, she planted her feet and started bouncing up and down. Her sopping wet pussy glided easily-massaging his shaft with her moist caverns. She screamed in ecstasy, the first real cock inside of her in months felt better than any toy–it was a living thing, with its heat radiating inside of her.

It was hard to know who was having a better time - Wonyoung finally letting loose or Junho feeling the tight walls of his dream girl squeezing his cock. She was lost in ecstasy, the feelings of hands on her body almost forgettable.

Minsoo was there to give her a stark reminder. Wonyoung gasped when a strong force pushed her forward, making her turn around in surprise. Then she felt something hard pressed against her asshole, the tight ring on her virgin hole clenched in resistance.

"What are you – AH!" Wonyoung cried out before she could finish her question. A predictable result. There were three men and she had an accompanying hole for each. But what she didn't expect was for it to happen right off the bat. No preparation; no fingers or toys - just Minsoo's hard, massive cock breaking past her defenses in one fell swoop. Drool started leaking from her mouth, the intense feeling of getting fucked from both ends beyond her wildest dreams. Cries of pain filled the room, Wonyoung stretched out further than she ever thought possible. You would think she begged for them to stop, that the pain was too much to bear...

"Fuck me harder!" She screamed out, the pain of being fully engulfed by cock reminding her that she was alive–washing away months of the stressful idol life.

It was a sight to behold, Minsoo aggressively fucked the blabbering idol. His hands gripped her hips, holding her in place as he drove into her with relentless force. It was a stark contrast to Junho, feebly thrusting upwards trying to keep pace. Wonyoung moaned, her head flailing as she felt her insides being stretched and filled. But soon they got in sync, fucking and stretching out Wonyoung's body at perfect intervals.

"Is this what you want, you filthy whore?" Minsoo growled in her ear, his hot breath sending shivers down her spine.

"Yes," she gasped, "Fuck me."

"Hey Donghyun, why don't you keep her quiet before the neighbors complain."

Donghyun was like a perfect little pet, listening to everything anyone told him. As he stood up and pressed his cock against her lips there was no hesitation. Wonyoung opened up her lips and sucked like it was a popsicle. Now she was truly filled, a cock in each orifice, her body being used for greedy desires. It was only right, she worked so hard to stay fit, it would be a shame to keep it hidden away and locked up.

Donghyun was perfectly content standing there while she sucked and licked. Wonyoung however was not, grabbing the back of his thighs and taking him deep in her throat–a jolt of pleasure blasting through him every time she let a muffled moan vibrate against his cock. Actions spoke louder than words, her desires clearly obvious. His hands tangled in her long hair, thrusting his hips, fucking her face with the intensity she craved.

As the men continued their relentless onslaught, Wonyoung felt her body being torn apart, her mind filled with pleasure and pain. She could feel the cocks pounding into her, stretching her, filling her completely. Her moans and cries filled the room, echoing off the walls as the men continued to use her.

"Fuck I'm gonna cum!"

Wonyoung was in no place to protest, a cock in her throat keeping her from replying. Nor did she want to, wanting nothing more than the feeling of hot cum filling her up.

"That's it," Minsoo grunted, "Take it all."

Minsoo was the first to concede–a thick stream of hot cum painting her insides. He slid out from behind her, her gaping ass leaking down to the sheets. He grabbed Donghyun, pulling him away. Wounyoung heaved in relief, finally able to breathe without a cock pounding her throat.

"Clean up my mess." Minsoo demanded. Wounyoung's relief was short-lived–opening up her mouth, happily sucking the cock that just took her anal virginity. Donghyun stared at her asshole with intrigue, kneeling down behind her. She smiled in response, feeling him pressed against her puckered hole. While her mouth was amazing, Donghyun longed to fuck something much tighter, and there was nothing tighter than Wounyoung's ass.

Junho had surprising stamina, his fingers biting into her sensitive flesh as he pinched and twisted her nipples. Wonyoung writhed above him, her body on fire with pain and pleasure. She could feel her own orgasm building, the pressure in her pussy and ass growing unbearable.

"I'm going to cum," she gasped, "Oh, God, I'm going to...ahhh!"

Her body trembled as the orgasm ripped through her, her muscles contracting as she was filled to the brim. That set off a chain sequence–her contracting body milking every shaft inside of her. Luckily for her, all the fans were just as insatiable as she was–knowing this was a once in a lifetime opportunity.

She was tossed around like a ragdoll, her tiny body fucked in every position possible, her tight holes nothing but a dumping ground for cum. They were like a well oiled machine, switching positions and holes, making sure that she always experienced something new. The only time one of her holes wasn't being fucked was when they needed to recover. Donghyun and Junho grew bolder as the night went on, fucking her with a ferocity that almost matched Minsoo.

The men continued their assault, their grunts and groans filling the air as they emptied themselves into her. Wonyoung's cries echoed in the room, a plethora of hands and tongues covering every inch of skin–three cocks stuffed in her holes, giving her everything she could ever ask for. She was reduced to nothing more than a living, breathing, screaming orgasm.

The sun was starting to rise, and the men pulled out, their spent cocks dripping with cum. They stepped back, leaving Wonyoung sprawled on the bed, her body covered in sweat, her mouth, pussy, and asshole leaking with cum.

Donghyun was the first to leave, he had to return to work within the hour. Junho turned sheepishly shy, embarrassed at how he lost control fucking his bias, collecting his camera. She smiled at him knowing he would forever cherish that footage. Donghyun and Junho bowed when they left. Forever grateful for this experience their faces flushed with pleasure, their hearts filled with gratitude. They had experienced something that most could only dream of.

Minsoo stuck behind, his fingers buried inside Wonyoung until she forced him to leave. She thanked him for starting things right, pulling him in for one final kiss before he left.

Wonyoung laid there, panting and trembling, her body sore and aching. Forget dance practice, she would be lucky if she was even able to walk. But as she stared up at the ceiling, she couldn't help but smile - she had found a release she had been longing for, a release that would fuel her performances, her passion, and her life. She couldn't wait for her next day off.

#wonyoung smut #ive smut #kpop smut

[wh0reforcoriolanussnow]

I Know it Won’t Work || Tom Blyth x singer!reader

Summary: You and Tom break up after three years of dating and you perform a song about the truth of the breakup for the first time live.

Warnings: slight age gap, reader is 23 and Tom is 30

Wc: 658

A/n: these r addicting to make lol. Also, changed up some lyrics for the sake of the storyline making sense. 2/4? Fics I’m posting today!

Tom Blyth x singer!reader au masterlist

Divider by @pommecita

You let out a shaky breath, "I left you here, heard you keep the extra closet empty," You sing the first words of your unreleased song to the crowd. "In case this year, I come back and stay throughout my twenties, what if I won't? How am I supposed to put that gently?" You had just freshly turned 23 and broken up with Tom.

You honestly don't know how you ended up here, in-front of a crowd of hundreds in London. Performing in front of people was the last thing you wanted to do at the moment but you had to keep a strong front for your supporters, this show was highly anticipated.

"I've had the thought, tried to work it out through anxious pacin'" Your biggest coping mechanism was writing songs. You never knew how to really express your emotions in sentences to someone, so instead, you write them into songs. Your real feelings and emotions laced into words that in the end, formed a song.

"But it's a lot, all the shine of three happy years fadin'" The crowd watched in silence, partly because it was a new song and they did not know the lyrics to sing along, but also because they were mesmerised. Your voice held so much emotion.

Your fans weren't aware that the two of you have broken up, but a few had already pieced it up. "The whole facade, seemed to fall apart, it's complicated." Everyone viewed you and Tom as the power couple, deeply in love with one another with no flaw or doubt in the relationship

While half of it was true, the other half wasn't. The seven year age gap different had been brought up so many times throughout your relationship. You remember the first time the two of you got together, you were 20 and he was 27.

You both received heavy backlash from the internet but the two of you ignored them all. They weren't the ones in the relationship, they weren't the ones to make the call about whether or not you should be together.

"And part of me wants to walk away 'till you really listen, I hate to look at your face and know that we're feelin' different," As the three years went by, uou hoped you weren't the only one in the relationship that doubted a few things. You didn’t want to admit that other people's comments were getting to you. As the three years progressed with Tom, you felt as if you were just both in such different phases of life.

You were still so young in your early twenties and fresh in your career while it seemed that Tom was ready to settle down, marry, and start a family. He would always mention starting a family and you would listen, not really knowing what to say to him.

But recently, you came into terms with the truth that both you and Tom don't share the same feelings or goals at the moment. "Cause part of me wants you back, but, I know it won't work like that, huh?" You loved Tom, parts of you still do. He never did anything wrong, he was everything you could have ever wished for. You like to think of him as the right person, wrong time.

But nothing was going to change the fact that you two were just in different stages of life. Nothing will change the seven year age gap between the two of you. "I know we cut all the ties, but you're never really leavin'"

Tom hasn't left your mind. It would've been easier if he did. But he just couldn't. "And part of me wants you back, but, I know it won't work like that, huh?" Your voice slightly cracks, a single tear drop runs down your face. Eyes closed, you let it. The dewy stream your tear left—accentuated with the bright lights focused on you—did not go unnoticed.

#fanfiction #tom blyth #tom blyth x singer!reader #tom blyth imagine #tom blyth x reader #tom blyth x you #social media au #social media #gracie abrams #tom blyth angst #tom blyth x gf!reader #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #coriolanus snow #the hunger games #coriolanus snow fanfiction #the hunger games the ballad of songbirds & snakes #coriolanus snow x reader #coriolanus x reader #coriolanus x you #president snow #tbosas

[vivwritesfics]

Keep On Rolling - MV1

Chapter Six

Summary: Lando's best friend having feelings for anyone on the grid? Impossible, right? She worked with them, sharing her friendship with the grid with the world via the FormulaY/N youtube channel.

After film a video including... spicy water (alcohol), everything changes between her and a certain world champion. Good thing she hasn't had a crush on him since his F1 debut, right?

Right?

1.9K words

Series Masterlist

A/N: I've actually had the best day (and it's only midday)! Did a couple of hours of studying, completing one of my essays, went to the outlet shop and found my perfect pair of cargos (my friends all look for xs so I feel bad when we go retail therapying, but I went alone and I'm so happy)

Silverstone. Lando's home race. Y/N couldn't wait. Ever since she was a little girl, Silverstone had been one of her favourites. When they were kids, Y/N's father had taken her and Lando to Silverstone. It was the first race Y/N had ever attended, and the race that let Y/N fall in love with Formula One.

It had been a full month since Y/N had last spoken to the current world champion. Y/N didn't know why Max wasn't speaking to her. Or answering her text messages. He'd been missing out of Y/N's life completely for the last month.

For once, Y/N had nothing special planned for Silverstone. Just a simple Q and A video.

Y/N missed the Friday free practice. Where she'd usually be there to watch Lando and the rest of her friends (namely Charles), but, this time, she was at home with her family.

British families had some weird traditions and Y/N's family was no exception. Every Sunday in the winter months they ate a huge roast dinner and every Sunday in the summer was reserved for having a barbeque.

With a job like Y/N's, she didn't much get to see her family. She was always away at the grand prix or the city hosting them. Her family missed her, sure, but they knew she was living her dream. So, whenever she was home, Y/N made sure to visit them.

Y/N sat at the dining table, checking her phone. Nothing from Lando, nothing from Charles, nothing from Danny. Nothing from... Max.

That was the most upsetting thing. Y/N hadn't spoken to Max in so long. She didn't realise she'd miss him until he disappeared. There had been a couple of times where she'd text him, but he'd only read it, not respond. Y/N was getting desperate. Desperate to hear from him, but they weren't in a place where she could beg. Right?

"Dinner!" Y/N's mother shouted as she and her brother ran in the dishes. Chicken, potatoes, sprouts, carrots, parsnips and more. Y/N's mother always went above and beyond with roast dinner. It was a whole performance for her.

Y/N allowed her mother to plate up her food. It was something she loved doing whenever Y/N was home, her way to welcome her back. "Mum, do you think we can watch the free practice?" She asked as her mother placed a Yorkshire pudding onto her plate.

"What? No way!" Her brother suddenly shouted across the table. "If Y/N gets to watch formula one I get to watch football!"

"Neither of you are watching anything. Y/N is going to make the most of being here with us before she makes her way up to Silverstone, okay?"

Y/N's mother was not a scary woman, not by any means. But, when she commanded something, it happened. Y/N and her brother nodded as they tucked into their food.

Y/N checked her last messages to Lando and Max beneath the table. Lando hadn't yet seen her message, but Max hadn't responded. A small part of her wanted to throw her phone at the nearest wall, but she didn't. Instead, Y/N slipped her phone back into her pocket and tightened her hand in a fist, nails digging into her palm.

Her family could tell something was wrong. Normally it was non-stop chatter about the world of the paddock. But, aside from her request to watch the free practice, Y/N didn't talk about formula one at all. Even when her brother tried to ask, Y/N answered with single words.

That night, in her childhood bedroom, Y/N looked at the pictures of her and Lando. Them in school, them at Lydden Hill for Lando's Karting career. Silverstone when Lando was in F2, Lando when he first joined McLaren and that was it. The rest of the pictures were in Y/N's own apartment, a place she hardly saw the point in paying for when she rarely lived there.

Her phone began to ring. Picking it up, Y/N placed it to her ear. "Hey, Lan," she said to her best friend as soon as she answered.

"How's your mum? How's your brother? How's the cat?" He asked quickly.

The cat in question was currently sleeping on Y/N's bed. The moment she moved out, the cat began living in her room, sleeping on her bed or in the empty closet.

"Mum is good, brother is good, cat is good," she said, sitting beside the cat and stroking her fur. "How was free practice? I tried to watch on the television but Mum wouldn't let me."

Lando told her all about free practice and how his day at Silverstone had been. He told her about the media things she and Oscar had to do, the fun he and Carlos had been having and more.

When he fell silent, Y/N found herself asking a difficult question. "Lan, is Max okay?" She asked him. "Does he hate me or something?"

"No," Lando answered quickly. "Why would he hate you?"

"Can you tell him to answer my texts then please."

Lando didn't answer that. How could he, when he was the reason for Max's silence? But, he couldn't tell Y/N, either. He could tell her that he was the reason Max was refusing to speak to her. So, Lando took it in a different direction.

"What's going on with you and Max?" He asked. His tone was genuinely curious, leading Y/N away from his crime.

Y/N shook her head. "Lan, nothing. Nothing is going on with Max and I. He was just the only person who let me interview him in Monaco. He just happened to be the person who helped me out after the drunken quiz video. Why does that mean something has to be going on with us?"

Again, Lando didn't answer. Guilt ripped through him. He was selfish, a selfish little boy. He drove Max away from Y/N just because he didn't want to lose his best friend

Lando was quick to end the call. He said his goodbyes and left Y/N to it. Max liked Y/N, he knew that much. But did she like him? God, he felt like a child back in secondary school as he thought about it.

***

"Hey guys, welcome to the Silverstone weekend," Y/N said to the camera as she sat on her bed with her cat in her lap. "As you can see, we are not in a hotel room for once. We are actually in my childhood bedroom and we have a visitor." Y/N held the cat up to the camera and waved her paw.

"Today we're going to be going in with a Q and A video," she said, pulling up her phone. "I know a lot of you have a lot of questions around how and why I do what I do, and I'm going to answer them all."

She went into her twitter and pulled up her first question. "Right, question one. How did you meet Lando?" She read and put the phone down. "Oh, what a story this is," she said and let out a little laugh. "When Lando and I first met each other, we hated each other. We were eleven years old, both starting at secondary school. In maths we got sat beside each other, and it all kicked off from there.

"Lando was so loud! Seriously, he did not stop talking. And he spread his stuff to my side of the desk, which really pissed me me off. So, I told him to shut up and he told me to bleep off, and then we became best friends."

The cat in her lap was purring as Y/N stroked her. She grabbed her phone and checked for the next question. There had been a lot on there asked about the nature of her relationship with Charles and her relationship with Max. They were things she wouldn't get into, only because it would make the situation so much worse.

"Ah, what do you do when you're not travelling around?" She read and put the phone back down. "Well, I travel to the grand prix and then I explore the city the grand prix is held in with my friends. These bits I don't usually film, but I'm considering doing city vlogs. If you guys would like to see this, drop a comment."

Y/N went on and on, reading through the questions. There were many about hers and Lando's friendship, many that allowed her to grab pictures of little Lando from the wall.

"What is your favourite quote from anyone on the grid at the minute?" She read.

It made her grin. "Well, I've got one that I use all the time which is when Charles says 'Lando we can be world champions', but I'm a big fan of those noises Danny makes? You know, 'ki ki ki ra!'" She shouted.

There was a noise from downstairs, her mother shouting a complaint.

After getting through at least twenty of the questions, Y/N checked the time on her phone. "Oh my," she gasped when she saw how late it was. Or, rather, how early in the morning it was. "I guess that's the end of the video," she said to the camera. "Thank you guys for watching. Like, subscribe and I'll see you at Silverstone," she said and got up to switch off the camera.

Taglist (Open): @sticksdoesart @eviethetheatrefreak @eugene-emt-roe @glai1023-blog @mqcherie @itsjustkhaos @chonkybonky @arian-directioner @lazybot @lpab @princessria127 @fangirl125reader @honethatty12 @larastark3107 @urfavouritef1girly @cassiopeiia24 @callsign-scully @lexiecamposv @dl-yum @savagecelery @laneyspaulding19 @formulas-bitch @teenwolf01 @gayfrog29 @fictionalcomforts

#max verstappen #max verstappen imagine #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen smut #max verstappen x reader smut #max verstappen x you #max verstappen fluff #mv1 #mv1 imagine #mv1 x reader #f1 #f1 imagine #f1 x reader #formula one #formula one imagine #formula one x reader #formula 1 #formula 1 imagine #formula 1 x reader #keep on rolling

[wysteria-bloom]

Hazbin Hotel but the reader is an overlord that's like Miss Argentina

Genre : Songfic

Warnings : Val. Allusions to suicide. Self harm.

A/n : yeah bro idek I thought this was a cool idea if this post flops I don't give a shit I love miss argentina and her song is the best out of the whole Beetlejuice soundtrack and I will fucking die on that hill. This is Alastor x reader focused btw.

"I was hot!" The woman exclaimed, leaning against the bar stool seductively, grinning toothily at Charlie," Went to parties a lot, yknow?" She raised her eyebrows suggestively, mimicking snorting cocaine across her forearm.

Charlie smiled nervously at the woman as she watched her spin away from the bar towards Husker gracefully," I was driving lamborghinis sippin' super dry martinis in the tiniest bikinis on a yacht," Her smile dropped and she pretended to be a damsel in distress, leaning backwards as Husk caught her in his arms with a bored expression," but I was depressed~..."

She pet Husk on the cheek good-naturedly and spun out of his arms," Oh so completely obsessed... an unhappy beauty queen who dreamed to be Miss Argentina," She gave Charlie a wink, flipping her hair before she gave her a sincere look," I had such low self-esteem, I was a mess!"

Charlie frowned in sympathy before she was pulled into a side hug very suddenly, face pressed against... a generously gifted... cleavage. Her cheeks exploded a bright colour of red and she could've sworn she heard Vaggie growl.

"So I gave it all up for the netherworld, I've been here forever, girl." She gave Charlie a wink and a ruffle of her hair," If I was more clever, girl - I would've stuck it out. Knowing what life's about."

She spun Charlie around, putting on a dramatic performance as she clutched a hand to her chest," Pain and joy and suffering," She wiped away a fake tear," Failing but recovering. I'll tell you another thing," She gestured to Charlie's ragtag group of sinners who were watching the performance with interest and amusement," Everyone here is alone!" Their faces dropped.

She cupped Charlie's face gently, grinning wryly," so if you are breathing, go home!"

She took Charlie's hands in her own, swaying her hips from side to side, engaging in a tango," If I knew then, what I know now~!" She twirled Charlie around with a joyous laugh, the princess couldn't help but laugh along with her, the woman's energy completely infectious," I would have looked within and let love in somehow~!"

She pulled Charlie back towards her, her movements sharp and jumpy," If I only knew, the truth back then," she pressed a kiss to Charlie's hand and let go, showing her wrists to Charlie with a cheeky little smile on her lips, two blatant scars across her wrists indicated to Charlie what exactly happened to (name)," I wouldn't have had my 'little accident'~"

She swayed around, ignoring the pitying look the princess sent her way," Don't be blind," She stopped in front of the painting of Charlie and her parents, gesturing to it with a disapproving frown on her painted lips," You left your whole life behind!" She then counted with her fingers as she began to list," see a shrink, call a priest, ask the recently deceased!" She pointed at Vaggie who ruffled at her uncomfortably.

She then began to push Charlie gently towards the front door of the hotel, giving Alastor an inviting grin," Death is final and you cannot press rewind~!" She cheered out with a wide grin to her voice.

The Radio Demon simply closed his eyes with a simple little smile on his lips, striding over to the woman and holding his arm out to her in a gentlemanly fashion, which made her laugh and link her arm with his.

As they walked around the town, demons chimed in to (name)'s song, following her with stars in their eyes and wide grins.

"Don't jump when the light is red!"

"Toasters should be used for bread."

"Never smoke cigars in bed..."

"Nietzsche was right, y'know, to live is to suffer, bro!"

"Don't cheat on the one you wed!!"

"Never whip a thoroughbred."

"Angry pygmys shrunk his head!"

(name) gave Charlie a gentle pat to the head with a little frown on her lips as the demons harmonised with her," Why did it take death to see that happiness was up to me?"

The woman broke from Alastor and Charlie, arms gestured out widely as if she was offering a hug to the whole of hell. She wish she could.

"If I knew then, what I know nowww~!" She spun around in a circle as demons danced around her with wide grins stretched across their faces, her energy affecting them as well," I would've laughed and danced and lanced every sacred cow!"

She turned to Alastor and Charlie, bright eyes shining at them as she waved her hands at them to follow along with her and let loose," I thought I knew, but I was wrong~!"

Alastor's grin stretched as he placed a hand on Charlie's shoulder, gesturing a hand to (name) as the two of them sang to her," 'cause life is short, but death is super long!"

Suddenly, a demon with a bomb-shaped head poked his head around (name), a mischievous little grin on his face," I exploded!" And his head did just that. But instead of brains, confetti flew around the whole of street.

It looked like a festival was happening... and with (name) it might as well have been a festival.

Demon danced and frolicked around as they cheered and chirped out, dancing in the square like no tomorrow.

Angel Dust grinned at Husk toothily and offered the cat a hand to dance which he scoffed and rolled his eyes at but took his hand anyways, a grin ghosting onto his lips.

Sir Pentious was crouched down a little as he took Niffty's little hands into his and they flailed their arms happily in an uncoordinated dance. His eggs marching around them with stupid smiles.

Vaggie offered a hand to Charlie with a shy little smile on her lips. The princess' previous grievances were forgotten as she let the happiest smile spread across her lips, pulling Vaggie close to her to begin dancing.

Alastor made his way into the middle as (name) held her hand out to him. His large claws wrapped around hers, one of his hands settled on her waist as he sang along with her.

"If I knew then, what I know now~! " She gave him a bright smile, the two of them dancing in complete sync. (name) didn't know Alastor could tango so well, that was for sure," I would've crossed every line and drank all the wine before my final bow!" At this line, Alastor dipped her, making her squeal in delight.

"If I knew, the things that now I know~!" The two of them focused on eachother's feet as they tapped and moved along to the music sharply, the demons all gaming over singing from here.

"I would ride the highs and cherish the lows! Going, it's a quick trick 'round the rodeo!"

(Name)'s arm wrapped around Alastor's neck as he lifted her up bridal style, spinning her around joyously. The woman had an arm thrown out as she sang her heart out," So before they lower the curtain, be certain to enjoy the show! That's what I knoooow~!"

He let her down as she danced herself and then gave Charlie a supportive smile," life is short but death is long," she took her hand and trailed her through the crowd to the middle of the square, standing on the stairways of the hotel," here, one minute then it's gone."

Charlie joined in the song happily," thought I knew but I was wrong," the two then harmonised," If only I knew what I know now~!!"

- 👠 -

Vox's eye twitched as he watched the screen, just about ready to explode. Vox had it frozen on the frame of (name) in Alastor's arms as they sang together with knowing smiles on their lips.

Val hummed, tapping the screen with a claw," her tits are huge, huh?"

That made the TV-man snap as he glitched out from pure adultered rage, throwing his "Fuck Alastor" mug at Val.

#alastor x y/n #alastor hazbin hotel #alastor x you #alastor x reader #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin x reader #songfic #i love miss argentina with my whole heart #Spotify

[cutielando]

Hi ! hope you're having a great day/evening/night,

I had an idea for a smau with someone on the f1 grid (it can be anyone but I have a preference for either Oscar or Logan), so I'm a fan of the bands Ghost and Sleep Token, which is something so very different from f1 and I kept wondering what would happen if those fandom where to merge together, so the request basically is that the reader is in a band like ghost or sleep token and they're dating one of the guys on the grid, and so those 2 very different fandom meet,

so like how would they interact and all, or maybe there would be some people that are in both fandoms, idk

there's no pressure for you to make it if you have no idea of how to do it or if you simply don't want to <3

a/n: thank you so much for requesting!!❤️ i’m a little out of my element on this one so i apologize if it doesn’t end up exactly as you imagined it, but i hope you like it !!

social media au

synopsis: the request 🌸❤️

my masterlist

♡♡♡♡♡

Instagram

liked by yourusername, sleepingdreaming and 85,194 others

sleep_token Another night to remember

view all 10,385 comments

yourusername such a unique experience 🤍

sleepingdreaming sleep token never disappoints

sleep_token We live to please.

sleepingdreaming 😭😭i can die happy now

user1 they are really something

logansargeant very special night indeed 😮‍💨

user2 excuse me? LOGAN SARGEANT AT A SLEEP TOKEN CONCERT?

user3 their concerts seem so much fun :(((

user4 they are the best, the energy they being to every performance is like nothing i have ever seen before

user5 does anyone know who the members are?

user4 no, they’re completely anonymous. the only thing we could really say is that they have a girl and the rest of them are men but that’s kinda it 😅

user6 super amazing night ❤️❤️

liked by f1wags, sleepingdreaming and 10,184 others

formula1gossippofficial New couple alert? 🚨 Logan Sargeant and Oscar Piastri were spotted attending a Sleep Token concert last night in Australia. The McLaren driver was seen getting cozy with an unknown woman the entire night and reports said they disappeared from the concert together in the late hours of the night. What do we think? 🤔

view all 1,925 comments

user1 maybe we should let him live his life?

user2 i never thought i would hear Oscar Piastri and Sleep Token used in the same sentence 😅

sleepingdreaming i can confirm they were there, seemed to have had a lot of fun as well

user3 is it true that he was with a girl there?

sleepingdreaming yes, they seemed very close too. logan seemed to be more of a third wheel than anything else to be honest 😂

op81fan she must be very special to make Oscar go out and stay that late on a race weekend🤔🤔

user4 the fact that he never goes out before a race and now he did and was seen with a girl in public makes me think she is hella special 👀

iMessage

yourname❤️

did you see the pictures?

oscar🐨❤️

i did

i’m sorry, i should have known there were gonna be paparazzi all over town last night

yourname❤️

babe, i don’t mind

i wanna be seen with you

i just don’t want people to figure out i’m in the band or anything, it would ruin the whole anonymity thingy lol

oscar🐨❤️

i’ll protect you❤️

i’ll make sure nobody figures it out

yourname❤️

in the meantime, wanna have some fun with the fans?😈

oscar🐨❤️

what did you have in mind?

yourname❤️

😈😈👀👀👀

Instagram

liked by oscarpiastri, logansargeant and 4,194 others

yourusername melbourne, you're a gem

view all 291 comments

yourbff damn girl

yourusername

logansargeant i see what you did there

yourusername impressive, right?

oscarpiastri must be a special city

yourusername some pretty special fellas roaming around the streets as well

oscarpiastri that's really interesting. tell me more

yourusername that would be inappropriate

liked by yourusername, landonorris and 491,296 others

oscarpiastri music is cool‼️

view all 98,174 comments

user1 OSCAR???????

user2 WHO IS THAT?????

logansargeant you're getting better at this

oscarpiastri i've been taking lessons to make sure i don't screw it up😃

yourusername damn ;)

oscarpiastri 😈

sleepingdreaming this fandom merge is wiiiiiild

user3 DO YOU KNOW SOMETHING WE DON'T???

sleepingdreaming maybeeeee...👀👀

user4 i never thought i would see Oscar being into rock

landonorris i don't believe that's you

oscarpiastri you can believe whatever you want

landonorris hmmm

yourusername you better believe it😮‍💨

landonorris you could spare me the details, thank you

mclaren We didn't know how to feel about this, but we're starting to love it!🧡 liked by oscarpiastri and yourusername

iMessage

yourname❤️

do you think we should tell them?

oscar🐨❤️

do you want to tell everyone?

i completely understand if you’re not ready yet

it’s a lot of pressure being seen with me

the fans are crazy

yourname❤️

have you seen my fans, babe?😂

they are just like yours, if not worse sometimes

they just want to protect both of us

oscar🐨❤️

so you want to make things official?

come to the paddock as my girlfriend?

yourname❤️

i think it's time we tell the world

it just sucks nobody in your world is really going to know who i am

oscar🐨❤️

i thought your friends didn't know who you are?

yourname❤️

they have suspicions

i think that deep down, they know who we all are

but nobody says anything because we've built our image on being anonymous

it's like knowing but without saying it out loud, you know

oscar🐨❤️

so your fans will know you're dating an F1 driver but mine won't know i'm dating the lead singer of Sleep Token?

yourname❤️

pretty much, yeah

oscar🐨❤️

so cool❤️

okay, i'll post a picture of us then

yourname❤️

be careful which pictures you post

i wanna look good :(

oscar🐨❤️

babe

you look good in every photo i have of you

yourname❤️

awwwwwww

i love you my koala bear🐨🐨❤️

oscar🐨❤️

i love you too my rockstar girl❤️

Instagram

liked by yourusername, landonorris and 712,483 others

oscarpiastri got bored of soft-launching tagged: yourusername

view all 139,482 comments

yourusername staaaaawp

yourusername i love you so much ❤️❤️

oscarpiastri i love you more 🧡

logansargeant i’m surprised you managed to keep it a secret for this long to be honest

oscarpiastri you need to stop underestimating me, you know

yourusername i didn’t think we would be able to pull it off either…

oscarpiastri ⁉️⁉️

yourusername sorryyyyyyyyy

landonorris i am very hurt that i wasn’t aware you are in a relationship

yourusername we were literally introduced…

oscarpiastri i literally told you about her

landonorris …oh

yourbff my favorite couple ❤️

yourusername ❤️❤️

nicolepiastri i can’t wait to see you guys tonight!!❤️

yourusername we can’t wait either!!!❤️

user1 I KNEW IT

user2 ITTY BITTY OSCAR HAS A GF????😭😭

sleepingdreaming ❤️ i love seeing it

user3 WHAT DO YOU KNOW???????

sleepingdreaming i can’t say 🥲🫶🏻

user4 THEY ARE SO CUТЕ😭❤️❤️❤️

user5 he looks so happy 🥹🥹

georgerussell63 she’s really a gem

oscarpiastri she’s amazing, isn’t she? so talented as well

yourusername you’re making me blush 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

user6 never thought i would see Oscar dating a rocker girl

user7 why not? he loves her regardless of that

user6 i know !!! i didn’t mean it in a bad way, it’s just really cute how they seem to be opposites but getting along great

user8 she really seems to be helping Oscar get out of his comfort zone

sleep_token ❤️ liked by yourusername and oscarpiastri

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[grntaire]

good omens is an allegory for queer deconstruction from an abusive fundamentalist religious environment.

i've talked about it on here ad nauseum, probably, but i haven't fleshed my thoughts out on it fully. this has been my interpretation since season 1, and season 2 just solidified it for me. so here goes.

it's about the choice that all queer people in an environment like this have to make, and both choices suck and end with loss.

choice 1: stay with your church community, your friends, your family, the world you've always known, but never be true to yourself. because they will never fully accept you if you are true to yourself.

choice 2: embrace your queerness, live your authentic life, and leave it all behind. you're torn from everything you've ever known, everyone you've ever loved. but it's what you have to do to be happy. aziraphale is stuck between choices. crowley never had a choice. his was made for him.

heaven are the church elders. the protectors. the ones who say they have your and god's best interest in mind, always. they don't. to them, hell are the blasphemers, who are both unworthy of redemption yet can only be saved by it. they are the arbiters of what is good and right and bad and wrong.

aziraphale's story is one of both learned faith and earned faith. learned, in that he's been indoctrinated his whole life. been to church at least twice a week since birth. earned, in that he's seen the good that the church can do–they feed the hungry, shelter the unhoused. how could people who do such good be capable of cruelty? and surely, when they are cruel, there must be some greater good to come out of it?

crowley was faithful once, too. he loved god. loved church. but he knew he was queer from a young age, and asked questions about it. not because he wanted to make trouble, but because he wanted to understand. to understand why something he knew about himself to be so innately true could be wrong. but the church didn't see it as that–they saw the embodiment of sin, questioning them. their authority, their virtuosity, the fibre of what holds their organization together, and he was cast out. was kicked out of his home, alienated from his family, his friends, his community. he fell. and he now sees the church for what it truly is.

as for aziraphale, he's accepted the fact that he's queer, but had faith that his elders had his best interest at heart when they spewed homophobic ideology. he never believed the ideology, not really, but he had to believe (made himself believe) that the people who spread it meant well. that they meant it out of kindness, out of protecting queer people from damnation. he wanted to believe that not everyone in the church was like this, that not everyone in the church thought all queer people are inherently people of sin. that is, until a mentor, someone he trusts, perpetuates it too. he's had moments in his past that chipped away at his faith: he'd stayed friends, or whatever you want to call it, with crowley, and crowley had tempted him into trying new things that the church wouldn't approve of. things that aziraphale loved. but this moment with his mentor is when his faith is truly shaken. it's the beginning of his active deconstruction.

and so he leaves. he leaves and finds crowley and they build a semblance of a life together with what they have. they're happy. he's learning that he doesn't need to go to church to be holy. that he doesn't need to be holy to be happy. that he's allowed to indulge in the things he loves without guilt and shame.

that is, until that mentor shows up at his doorstep, offering him everything he's ever wanted. insinuates that he knows him and crowley aren't just friends, and assures him that they can come back to church together. that they're going to change things in the church, and that aziraphale can help. that they need aziraphale to help. (they don't. they want a pious gayboy to help repair their image. it's performative activism at its finest). aziraphale is being offered his family, his community, everything back, and crowley can come too. preying on his wants and desires, manipulating him back into their control. so of course he says yes. they'll get to be together with everything they've ever known and aziraphale doesn't have to make a choice between losses anymore. (deconstruction isn't linear, and abuse is cyclical.)

but crowley makes it for him. crowley tells him no. he doesn't want that life and doesn't want to go back to those people who hate him so much. who hate them so much. crowley knows what the church is about and sees it for what it is. they're not about god, or moral good or doing what's right. all they want is control. it's about the optics of the organization. it's about influencing what serves them and their agenda, and crowley knows that aziraphale is just a pawn to them. ("Why would we go back to them, when they think that who we are is wrong? Is vile? They think us the embodiment of sin and you want to go help them with their PR campaign?")

but aziraphale doesn't know that, can't know it, and crowley can't make him see it. (aziraphale knows that they cast crowley out, that he was kicked out of his home. crowley never shared with him about what happened after. the nights on the street, the things he'd endured to survive.)

and so crowley kisses him. he kisses him to tell him not that he loves him, because of course he does. he kisses him to tell him "This is what you leave behind. We would never be able to do this there, to be this there, even if they say we could. Our lives are here, our safety is here. this is what you're giving up."

crowley has been through it and experienced their cruelty firsthand. aziraphale won't be able to see it until he experiences it, too. he won't be able to realize he's being played if he doesn't even know that there's a game happening in the first place.

i can't recommend watching the show through this lens enough. it makes aziraphale's story that much more heartbreaking, because there's this intense duality of indoctrination vs. deconstruction that lives within him constantly. (imo it's also the main difference between book aziraphale and tv aziraphale: book aziraphale is significantly further along in his deconstruction journey. it's why he's a bit more of a bastard. tv aziraphale is set back a bit further, which sets up his deconstruction arc beautifully across three seasons.)

it's why aziraphale has the ability to peel back layers of himself and his train of thought depending on the situation at hand–he literally has two trains of thought happening at once. the indoctrinated one, and the deconstructed one.

and when crowley kisses him, it's the first time in his existence that both trains of thought have been that present simultaneously. it's both trains colliding full speed with each other. it's why we see both livid, hesitant frustration and fierce passion and longing at once. it forced him to confront something that lived so deeply within himself that he wanted to bring to light on his own terms, but crowley was desperate. the kiss wasn't i love you, please stay. it was look at what you're leaving behind. we could've been us, we could've been this.

and i think that whatever happens in season 3, whatever heaven does that makes them finally irredeemable in aziraphale's eyes, it'll be a beautiful ending to his deconstruction arc. not that deconstruction ever ends, not truly, but for the first time in his existence, he'll be able to see heaven, hell, and the system as a whole clearly for what they are: a bunch of self-righteous dicks.

[if you're curious about religious deconstruction and what it means, this video by therapist and social worker mickey atkins talking about deconstruction in reference to shiny happy people, a documentary about the duggar family, is a good place to start. cw for pretty much all types of abuse imaginable, fyi.]

#here is aforementioned meta post lmao #i feel like i can breathe lighter getting this out of my system #cw religious trauma #good omens #good omens meta #thoughts #neil gaiman

[megantheestallion-ismypresident]

I only have eyes for you

Human alastor x black! jazz singer

Sumarry: Before alastor ended up in hell in his human life, he fell in love with this jazz singer, and he fell deeply in love with her before he died and ended up in hell.

● Alastor was very infatuated by you when he first heard you sing on the radio. He loved your voice so soft and soothing. He is a big fan of you and your work.

● You were a famous jazz singer in New Orleans, Louisiana. You were the life of the party. Everybody wanted to be you. Men wanted you. You were eye candy in your day. Alastor heard about you, the streets of Louisiana were talking you about you so he was interested in you.

● Alastor has been to one of your shows before just to watch you sing in person. He thought you were so beautiful and elegant. your glossy red lipstick made you look stunning, I mean, his favorite color is red~. He wanted to smear it off and kiss you hungrily as he marks you and your body, your tight red dress that hugs your curves perfectly.

●"She's really good, isn't she? She's got a voice of an angel." Some random man told Alastor as he drinks his champagne but still was looking at you.

● "She is quite a gal, pure talent and beauty." Alastor smiles as he looks at you up on the stage, which caught your attention as you wink at him, making him stare at you in awe, he only had eyes for you.

● There have been women who wanted alastor's attention. I mean, he is the most famous radio host in New Orleans, but no one knows his sinister side... oh, how dumb these people were. A lot of women wanted his attention. None of them stood out to him until he saw you, on his radio shows he would play your music and can't help but sing to it and enjoy your voice, he truly had his eyes set on you.

● Everyone applauded your performance as every cheered, threw roses at you, as you smile and blow kisses to the people in the audience, as you left the stage.

● You were off the stage as you were going to the bar for a drink, he had to talk you he was infatuated by you. Alastor got up as he walked with confidence as the charming man he is.

● "My,my, my, that was a lovely performance, quite the show." Alastor lightly grabbed your hand as he kissed your knuckles, making you flustered. "Why, thank you, alastor, I'm also a big fan of you to as well. I love listening to you on the radio. You really know how to catch people's attention." You said to the alastor as you drink, you champagne, as his ego was boosted by your compliment. "Why thank you, mon Cher, it's nice like a lovely famous star noticing me." Alastor said as he took a sip of his liquor.

● I've always been a big fan of you and your charm it's quite sexy. No wonder why the ladies like you." You winked at alastor flirting with him, as he felt his dick twitch, alastor is a gentleman he doesn't think about things or feel such thing around other women, but you were a different story.

● You and the alastor clicked instantly. You laughed, drinked, and danced all night long. He was truly in love with you, and you were in love with him. Then, later on, you Two became an actual couple, which caught a lot of attention. I mean y/n the most famous jazz singer with alastor the most charming famous radio host of course people were gonna talk.

● Some women still flirted with alastor knowing he was with you, alastor love how cute you were seeing you angry but obviously he would never put you against another women for his love he'll never be unfaithful towards you he is of course a gentleman.

● Alastor would stop by your performances hearing you sing as he would smile at you and would smile back... he was truly your biggest fan.

● You would stop by at his job bringing him coffee, as you listen and watch him doing his job, and you would join and sing for the whole world to hear, and he would join in.

● Alastor had admitted that he is a serial killer. At first, you were surprised, but you didn't care. You loved him, whether he killed or not, and you still loved him, and that will never change.

● Alastor loved flauting you around to other people showing them you belonged to him and only him, being the egotistical bastard he is he would boast and brag about having you and being cocky towards men who wanted you but can't because you were with him

● Your sex life in the bed is amazing he made you fulfilled again, and again, and again until your screaming his name.

● Alastor has a blood kink he loves biting you and sees blood drip as he sucks it he loves to see you in pain as he hears your cries. The pain he inflicts your heat, which pushes you towards the edge. He loved to see you squirm and whine he finds quite adorable.

● Alastor loves marking your body. He marks you everywhere, but he loves marking you on your neck so people can notice his "masterpiece." You would panick, not wanting people to notice the mark, but Alastor finds it amusing and would kiss the marks on your body. "Don't shy away, dear. These marks show who you belong to, and you look quite ravishing." Alastor gives his charming smile, making you melt.

● He finds joy in pleasuring you the way you moan in pleasure. He loves being in control he let's you be in control time from time, but He's the one mostly in control it shows how powerful he is, and he most likely claims you.

● He is really skilled with his tongue, very skilled making you cum atleast 3 or 4 times. You would pull his hair in between your thighs, screaming loudly. He's very animalistic, but he's a gentleman. He's really caring after sex, an aftercare God.

● Period blood doesn't faze him he has no issue eating you out when you're on the time of the month while you're bleeding. He enjoys it since he's a cannibal, the blood entices him making him cum before you as he groans.

● He doesn't really moan, but he will groan and stutter sweet things in your ear and some deep groans.

He truly loves you he only had eyed for you, his darling doe.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel alastor #alastor x reader #alastor x black!reader #Spotify #x black reader #Hazbin hotel x black!reader #alastor smut

[pinguwrites]

Drabble: William fakes a PTSD nightmare

pairing | william killick x reader

Warnings: william being manipulative/possesive/controlling/kinda creepy, mention of PTSD trauma, implied to take place years after WWII, baby boy nickname, lowkey forgot how his house looks like

A/N: Ugh I've literally been so busy I can't believe I managed to get this out. I'm planning to get a long-length fic out but for now here's a drabble

The wind howled outside, sharp and loud, as the trees rustled against the wood of the house. The atmosphere was bitter and tense, the air cold and the silence thick.

William didn’t dare apologize, and as it seemed, you had no plans to as well. He was by no means content to sleep on the couch, missing the warmth your body provided, but he wasn’t sorry for what he did. He wasn’t sorry for his possessive nature. He was only controlling you because he was trying to keep you safe, couldn’t you see that? And the way you demanded more freedom earlier today — like that was something you needed. You were being completely unreasonable.

But still, you were stubborn. William knew that this wasn’t going to blow over until a few more days, and by then he’d be forced to make some compromises. If only the whole thing had never happened . . . He would be in your arms, held by you, cared for, and loved again.

If only he had a nightmare like he usually did on stormy days like this. You would forget everything, start cooing him, comforting him, and being a good wife.

And that was when it hit him — you would never know the difference. He could fake it! He could fake it and then everything would go back to normal. There was absolutely nothing stopping him, and it wasn’t wrong to do. The distant thunder did remind him of bombs, and the reminder did take him back to Greece. It was only now that he was better at controlling it, at not letting these minuscule things take him back to that hell.

William got up and walked towards the bedroom, leaning against the wall, watching you sleep. Your chest rose and fell slightly, your hair slowly falling across your forehead until it finally rested over your face. It was a beautiful sight. Sometimes, while you were asleep and he was awake, he would sit upright in bed and just watch you.

My darling girl. The love of my life. Why do you have to be so difficult?

William put on his best performance. He pouted his lips slightly, forcing tears to well up in his eyes. He tried his best to look like a wounded dog.

Before he even called your name, you woke up. Immediately noticing the dark figure standing by your door, you gasped, but when you recognized it as William, you got rather annoyed.

“What is it, William?” you asked groggily.

William shivered. “I—I dunno. I’m sorry — you always told me I could come to you . . . whenever it happened.” He let some tears fall. “I just got so scared. I thought — I thought I was back there, and . . . and.” He paused. “I’m sorry, I’ll go. I’ll go.”

“William,” you said softly, shaking your head with a look of pity on your face. “Darling, come here.”

William didn’t hesitate. He crawled into bed with you, wrapping the blanket which smelled like your perfume around his body. The tears dribbled down his chin, and he sniffled, snuggling his head in the crook of your neck.

“I’m sorry — it’s just, you were there. In the dirt, with all the other bodies. I couldn’t protect you,” he babbled.

“Shh,” you whispered. “I’m right here, baby boy. I’m not going to die. Can you feel me? Here.” You placed his hand on your chest, right above your breast. Your heart thumped, and he could feel it.

William was almost surprised that you had been fooled so easily, but also heartened. Your care for him outweighed any suspicion. It was at that moment that he knew things would be alright. You were going to forgive him.

"I-I can feel it."

William snuck his hand a bit lower, on your breast, and cupped it a little bit. Maybe you were too sleepy or just didn't mind, but you didn't move his head away, and instead let it rest there.

"I'm sorry about the argument," he said softly, after a while. "I just . . . what would my life be if you are not in it? What kind of husband would I be if I didn't protect you as best I can?"

You were quiet. Then, "Okay, Will. I'll stop visiting my friends so often. And I won't go past the property line without telling you . . . I know you only want to keep me safe."

William let out a sigh of relief and affectionately nuzzled his nose against your shoulder. "Thank you, my love."

He was a bit afraid that you would change your mind, so the moment he got what he wanted, he pretended to doze off into sleep, his breathing becoming more rhythmic and patterned.

"Will?" You shook him slightly. "Have you . . . ? Oh, it's alright. Rest." You kissed him on his forehead, leaving a wet mark. "Sweet thing," you murmured, before you yourself drifted off into sleep.

Taglist: @mrkdvidal1989 @slut4thebroken @qqquartz7 @madeinuk @flwrs4aust @httpxgray

#william killick #william killick x reader #william killick x you #william killick x y/n #cillian murphy #fanfiction #the edge of love #pinguwrites

[hanjsquokka]

The Phantoms - [ 3RACHA ]

🎙 SYNOPSIS: A lovely independent home in the suburbs of Seoul at a low cost? You didn't question it until you found out the house came along with three extremely confused ghosts.

GENRE: ghosts, music band, rockstar, hip-hop, non idol au!

PAIRING: 3racha × fem!reader, han jisung × fem!reader

CONTENT WARNING: will contain swearing, slightly mature content such as smoke, weed, alcohol, mentions of sexual activities (no actual smut), angst, confused 3racha, ghosts, underwordly stuff (idk). This is highly inspired by the show Julie and The Phantoms!

WORD COUNT: 6K + (ongoing)

AUTHOR'S NOTE: sorry I disappeared for like a month there! Had a lot of things to do irl! Finally back with this fic (I've never been more proud of something I've written) and I just love it because it's so them T-T. Also, if you've watched Julie and The Phantoms, Changbin is so Reggie coded like do not argue with me there ✋️

EP 01 - you made the whole room fucking pink : moving into a new house had it's pros and cons. pros, you finally had a new place to stay in without the lady next door complaining about how loud you played your music or listen to the news from the old man who lived upstairs at four in the morning. cons, three ghosts could inhabit said house, scaring both you and themselves. but who were these ghosts and why did they dress like they were from a 2000's sitcom?

EP 02 - the only idol i know is park jinyoung: the ghosts of 3RACHA weren't as bad as some of the boys you knew but they sure were a handful. for some reason, no one could see them but they sure could hear them. the ghosts themselves were struggling to adjust to the fact that they were ghosts and they missed out on a big chunk of their life. after a small argument with jisung, you begin to see another side to the snarky guy. but when your best friends show up at your house unannounced with news that you didn't want to hear, how long would it take for you to face your fears?

EP 03 - what the hell is spotify : performing at your own housewarming party made you a lot more anxious than you initially thought it would. chan, changbin and jisung — out of the pure goodness of their little dead hearts — decide to help you perform since they were a band after all. after a little mishap with jeongin seeing them, the rappers realize that they could still make music for people. with the help of changbin's new friend, they might just have a chance at becoming 3RACHA again.

EP 04 - we're dying again, surprise : loading

EP 05 - we are not getting eomuk this time : loading

(comment below if you want to be added to the taglist!)

©hanjsquokka | copying, translating or republishing my work is strictly prohibited

#han jisung #skz #stray kids #skz imagines #skz x reader #skz fluff #skz scenarios #han jisung imagines #han x reader #han jisung fluff #han jisung x reader #han jisung x you #bang chan #bang chan x reader #changbin x reader #seo changbin #bang chan imagines #bang chan x you #christopher bang #bang chan scenarios #changbin fluff #changbin imagines #changbin scenarios #bang chan fluff #changbin x you #3racha #3racha x reader #julie and the phantoms #( 🎤 ⸻ my works / 3racha )

[hjellacott]

Bit worried about Ashlyn Harris actually

Aside from all the drama that's been going on lately, I've got to confess that for the past few months (or years?) I've been wondering what the hell is up with this woman.

I was such a huge fan back when she was just this Satellite Beach goalkeeper with a humble head and the love for skate-boarding and surfing and you know, family & friends first and her work with To Write Love on Her Arms. And I get people change and that none of us ever really knew her, but I've seen I'm not the only one who can't believe what she's turned into. Like, can we recognise her any more? Or was the completely playing out to be an entirely different person ten years ago?

I think it started when she came out with Ali and suddenly she was like, this attention-seeking, uncomfortably loud (as in literally screaming) person with the weird, rather cringey fashion, only talking about gay things and nothing else, behaving like the complete soccer start that to be entirely fair she wasn't... Even on her wedding video I couldn't believe that Ashlyn was the same Ashlyn of 2011, 2012, 2013... It's not even that many years to change so much, let alone in your thirties. It's like there were no remnants of the surfer, the skate-boarder, the humble butch from a small town who valued the little things... Like she was adamant on transforming into this massively public, loud, "fashionable (?)" celebrity. Even when giving interviews she was expressing herself like she had no intellect any more, you know like male footballers speak, like it's all looks and no brain, no sign of the person who got a uni degree and who gave an amazing mental health talk with TWLOHA years back.

And then when they were celebrating the WC, I was thinking, since when is she this loud and arrogant? Since when is she so attention-seeking? When did she turn into this whole other person who makes such a huge effort to ignore her lack of National Team performances and pretend like she deserved her world cup as much as Ali or Pinoe? I get subs deserve the medal and all too, I mean, they made it so far and if they weren't there training with the rest, the rest wouldn't be as good. You're only as good as the worst of you, after all. But none of the others was bragging so loudly and calling themselves x2 champions so much without having played a minute of those games, were they? Even Alyssa Naeher doesn't have world cup champion in her profiles, nor does AD Franch, nor PINOE, but you know who does? Hope Solo. And you don't want to have THAT personality. I feel like when you're confident on your victories, you don't need to brag, everyone knows who you are, your work speaks for itself.

What worries me about AH (sit down here comes my Psychology Grad analysis) is that in the past few years she's been more and more behaving like someone with no self-esteem, who's desperately afraid of being forgotten and needing to shout left and right look at me! i'm a champion! I'm a soccer star! And then she stopped getting called up for the USWNT, got stuck in the Pride (and I love them but bunch of losers tbh), and all she had left was Ali. And then Ali's doing better than she is. And then Ashlyn gets these horrible injuries and that's story of her life (injuries effed her up from day 1 and seriously impacted her career) and she's forced into an abrupt retirement with no glory.

And then emerges this Ashlyn who only cares about rubbing elbows with celebs, who believes herself to be some fashion mogul (that's all she's got left) and who is deeply satisfied with how her life turned out to be and how she's ended up being nothing but a footnote in the history of American women's soccer, specially compared to her wife. We know they've had issues for a while, that has been hinted at before, and I can only imagine there must've been a growing resentment/bitterness towards Ali because she gets everything Ashlyn won't in terms of soccer. In fact it seems to me (and maybe it's just me), that she seems to be ferociously resentful to soccer in general, like, suddenly she wants nothing to do with it and wants to pretend like soccer is not a big deal. How many times as she stated quite firmly that she's now happiest she's ever been and acted almost as if soccer was actually holding her back? as if her soccer career is nothing compared with what she has now, when we know it isn't true, because she still feels the need to remind us she's a twice world cup champion all the time?

So from a psychology point of view I think she's very bitter, very hurt, very pissed off, very resentful, that she hasn't processed her forced retirement and her not so good soccer career in a healthy way, and so she has to pretend like she's super happy and better than she was before so as not to look like the failure she feels she is. She has to use social media all the time and brag about the celebrities she's meeting, the trips she's going in... She's got nothing else but to pretend she's still as successful as all her friends she has to constantly see in social media showing off with the accomplishments she wishes she had. It's the classic game of getting depressed comparing yourself to others so you take to social media to constantly pretend you're as good as them or better, we all do it. And she's gone, in my humble opinion, off the rails, she's unrecognaisable, and if she has really had an affair and hurt Ali this big, as rumours have it, then that only strengthens my opinion. Like, I wouldn't be surprised if she's abusing substances again, if she's in some spiral downhill as it looks like. And what's Ali going to do? She can't focus on looking after her, she's got work, she's got two small kids, at this age Ashlyn needs to see she needs help and seek it on her own, not expect Ali to mother her.

That's part of why I really don't like people going on and insulting her left and right, because we really don't know what's going on, but to me it seems like when someone's not well, when someone's spiralling, they start to really go off and the first people to get hurt are those closest to her. And we must remember she is a human being, even if she makes mistakes, even if she does bad things (IF she has), and she doesn't deserve billions of people judging her and making her life miserable. And none of us would like it in our consciences if she actually is struggling with her mental health and gets worse because of generalised mass bullying. She's still Sloane and Ocean's mother, and they probably love her very much, and Ali's probably struggling a lot, so we need to remember supporting one person does not have to mean stooping so low as to have to become horrible bullies. Let's stay human, y'all.

#ashlyn harris #ali krieger

[simplyavatrice]

I really like whenever you post thoughts about what you love about characters (specifically Ava), so I was just curious about what you love about Bea? I’ve never loved both characters in a ship like this and I think they’re such a perfect complement to each other

when you can find a ship where both characters are able to occupy space in your mind and both of them give you that buzz when you think about them, then you've hit the jackpot

it's not always been the case with my ships - the only other one besides avatrice that i could say do that for me are korra and asami

as far as bea goes, i really love the different layers she has and seeing them uncovered, especially in season 2

but also the little bits we see in season 1. it's clear from the jump that bea is reserved and by the book and has her routines and patterns and that whole bit with shannon in the start and how she's trying so desperately to stay by the book because if she doesn't then she'll break - and it makes you wonder if that moment ever happened before ava showed up

did bea ever break? did she allow herself the chance to mourn any of her sisters? there's a post and a theory i've seen that bea was in line to be the next mother superion and i think that tracks so well because she is a survivor and a planner and you just know she knows everyone and everything about the order because she doesn't know how to function without all the information

and i think that's her fate until a certain ava silva shows up and throws her world into orbit

we know ava isn't the first person to bring out bea's heart - we see it in that photo of bea/mary/lilith, but it's clear that things between all of them had shifted and bea probably blamed herself a bit for it (because that's what she does) so when ava shows up and beatrice immediately just...tries with her, it's probably terrifying.

then she opens up to ava, probably too much, but holy shit ava has this big heart and sees who she really is and isn't scared or disgusted, no ava tells her she's beautiful, and for the first time in bea's life her attraction to someone doesn't bring pain - it brings her this tiny bit of hope and from that moment on, beatrice fully commits herself to ava and i love her devotion.

i love that when beatrice tells ava that she won't leave her side, she never does, literally until ava has to leave her

as their relationship grows and we see more sides of bea, it really does let her personality shine. i fully believe there is a cheeky and almost incredible sense of humor inside of her that she holds in all the time and ava brings little bits of her out of her - which is what i love about bea - there's so much life inside of her, she just chooses to keep it hidden away from 98% of the world, but those who get to see it fall in love with her

then we get to season 2 and holy shit beatrice is in normal clothes and living with ava and fighting for her gay life and she's just so cute and still so devoted, but also letting herself relax a little and even enjoy the simpler things

THEN...then we see her dancing and we, like ava, see that there is so much more inside of her and to her and that she has this spirit that could change the world if it was ever allowed to be set free

for me too, the love for beatrice comes from when they come back to the order in season 2 and while she puts her habit back on, it's so clear that she isn't the same girl

she is no longer sister beatrice, but just beatrice, of the order and her devotion is no longer to god, but to her own heart - a heart that belongs to ava and she devotes herself to protecting the girl she loves, chooses her even over the mission itself

bea's heart is too big for her own chest at times and she has such an amazing depth that still feels mostly uncovered, but kristina performs her so well that you see how deep her character goes without having all the details yet

ava is the centerpiece of warrior nun, she's the heart of the show for sure - but beatrice is the backbone, the steady presence that keeps everything upright and aligned, it all falls apart without her and that weight is on her shoulders always and she knows that

yet, she can't ignore herself anymore and carry that weight for free, not when she knows what it's like to fall in love and finally chooses herself because of it

when ava comes back, beatrice will be ready to love her the way they both deserve

#sister beatrice #warrior nun #oops long post!!

[aita-blorbos]

Am I the "asshole" for wanting to have a body again?

Context: I was once a powerful demon, but an attempt was made to seal that demon's soul inside a cursed object. The sealing didn't completely succeed, and the demon's soul was torn to pieces, with only the part currently known as "me" ending up inside. I don't remember much about this part of my life, but as far as I can recall, I almost certainly didn't do anything to deserve it.

I (immortal, pick one) have been trapped in this object as an incorporeal spirit for so long I've lost track of time. My prison has changed hands many times, but was most recently acquired by an extremely ambitious student at a nearby magic school (13M, we'll refer to him as "K"). K all but demanded I lend my power to him and teach him some of what I knew. As I quite literally have nothing better to do, I agreed, and the arrangement has been mostly tolerable.

Except a short time after we began working together, a new student "S" (also 13M) showed up at K's school. And what did he have with him but the other part of my soul?! I don't know how he came to have it, if he's some sort of reincarnation of my original self or a distant descendant, but all that mattered was that if I could get to him, I could have a body again. It was the best opportunity I'd ever had to get my life back. So I got K to perform a ritual that switched our places and put me in his body (and before I'm called the "asshole" for that, it was supposed to be a TEMPORARY arrangement, and besides, he's the one who wants to mess with dark magic. I taught him a very valuable lesson about dealing with demons! Not that he actually learned anything from it…)

S came straight to me, but someone must've realized what was going on and put a protection charm on him. Then he beat me in a duel, and after that he just…walked away. Like he didn't have a care in the world! He hadn't come to deal with me, or even to save his classmate, no, he just wanted to steal one of my ritual components because some stranger had asked him to, otherwise I don't know if he'd have bothered showing up. I don't think he even listened to a word I said.

Needless to say, that plan didn't work out. I'm still working with K, but now both his teacher and the most powerful warlock on this side of the planet are watching me like I'm some sort of criminal. And what's worse, no one involved took me seriously, and aren't willing to so much as mention the incident. It's like it didn't even matter! I'm pretty sure even S has forgotten the whole thing, he's got a memory like a sieve for anything that isn't the scientific name for a stag beetle.

It hasn't been all that long, but it feels as if it's been decades since I've gotten to do anything. Is it so wrong for me to try and escape this pitiful existence I've been unjustly forced into? Am I going to spend the rest of eternity in here being the butt of some kind of massive cosmic joke? I really don't think I deserve to be either treated like a reprobate or outright ignored.

EDIT: THIS IS FAKE NONE OF THIS HAPPENED my device must have been stolen moderators please delete!!

EDIT 2: To everyone saying K should get rid of the demon, if any of these events had hypothetically actually happened (WHICH THEY DIDN'T), I would definitely have the situation COMPLETELY under control by now!!

#aita #am i the asshole #unreality

[guillotinebypierre]

Ryujin POV

Confliction.

Regret.

Pleasure.

If I was to try and describe what I was feeling, what I have been feeling every since this little affair started, this is what I'd choose. It is as if I had these cartoony angel and devil figures on my shoulders, criticising my every move and trying to sway me into rethinking my every step. On one side I knew what I wanted, I knew I wanted to stay loyal to my childhood sweetheart, leave all this idol bullshit behind and live somewhere quiet, have a nice and relaxed life but I knew it wasn't what I needed. I needed to be an idol, I needed to live this larger than life lifestyle, touring the world, singing and dancing and performing to my hearts desire day in day out. I knew I wanted [redacted] but I needed Y/n.

Nobody touched me like this. He was like a drug coursing through my veins, an unhealthy obsession, he was a constant high in my life, the personification of dopamine. He was the human equivalent of what I felt whenever I performed, he was my own private idol lifestyle, he was someone so unapologetically removed from anything related to the industry that it made me mad. He was an anchor, a way of ridding my stress, the build up of multiple weeks of training until I literally couldn't, the person who took care of me when I needed it.

He wasn't what I wanted, at least not originally, or maybe he was and I'm just delusional and trying to convince nobody but myself, but he is what I need.

This night started as they always do, with a simple phone call. Phone calls at two in the morning, normally not something anyone would want, but for us it was different. The past few months were getting to me, I'd be lying if I said it wasn't. But then again, after all these years of dealing with toxic bosses, annoying netizens who sit in their room the whole day and think they have the right to comment on anything and everything, I've learned how to push these things down and ignore them until I couldn't. The last two comebacks didn't go as planned. They still did well on the market, but internationally, people said some pretty messed up things. We also have a tour coming up, which meant that training was pushed to a max, no matter if we could handle it or not.

Y/n told me once that pressure was a privilege, or at least that's the thing I could make out after he fucked my brains out, rendering most of my senses useless for the rest of the night. He was incredibly understanding, I knew he had to have made some harsh experiences in his past, but I never pushed further. Even though I'd love to know more about him, about how he thinks, what he thinks, I couldn't. And that was a good thing. He took care of my needs, I took care of his, there was no need for feelings. Or thats what I keep telling myself. I know I don't- no I shouldn't want him. But I needed him.

Thats the second reason I called him tonight. Tonight my sleep was particularly bad. My mind clouded with the past failures and bad decisions I made, the promise I made to my childhood crush, that we'd stay in touch and eventually date, in my mind as I cursed myself to hell and back for falling for someone else. My bed felt empty, my heart felt empty. But my mind was crowded, full of his ridiculously handsome face. That smug grin that I could only get rid of by sitting on it, his stupidly perfect teeth that he used to tease my nipples, his incredibly muscular body that I stared at a bit too long, leading to his annoying teasing. His strong arms that held me close at all times, offering me comfort I never really got with anyone else.

I tried replacing him, I really tried, but it was like anyone and everyone was a lesser version of him, a cheap replacement, it was like going back down to economy after flying first class for the first time. They weren't what I needed, they were cheap replacements, I wanted to stop thinking about him, relying on him, but those attempts were futile in the end. I needed him.

My phone was completely charged and absent of any notifications. It was two in the morning, after all. My schedules for tomorrow were moved to another day, leaving me with a day of relaxing, but I knew I couldn't, not until I quenched this undying thirst for that stupid son of a bitch and his magical touch. It was like whenever I saw him I lost all motor function, like he had done a spell on me. If he wanted to, I'd be on the floor for him, doing things I'd never do for anyone else. And what makes it worse is that he knew what effect he had on me. What made it worse was that I've seen the way my members look at him, the way other idols look at him.

He works at a popular restaurant among the rich and famous of Seoul, a very luxurious one at that, even for rich people standards. One that offered plenty of privacy for all kinds of famous people. I've seen the way my fellow idols tipped him, the way they'd touch him and make advances. It irked me, especially because he went along with it every time, accepting the small pieces of paper with their numbers they'd slip him. God knows how many of my colleagues he has fucked by now.

I find myself questioning if Karina was able to make him cum like I did. If my unnies from Twice were able to take him as well as I did. If those aunties from Girl's Generation were even able to keep up with him. Like seriously, Taeyeon was over a decade older than him, theres no way he could go all out with her. I felt sick to my stomach thinking about how these whores would be moaning my man's name, but then I realised, he wasn't my man. And that's on me, I suppose. After all a relationship is what he wanted, but it wasn't what I needed. Or at least that's what I thought back then when he asked me. I proposed the idea of staying as fuck buddies, the casual booty call, but seeing how he interacted with women, most of which I'd fuck myself in a heartbeat, made the devil on my shoulder grow rigid and put some bad ideas in my mind.

He spoke to the phone, calling my name, leading me to question whether he had just picked up or if I had left him to talk to himself for god knows how long.

"Noona it's two in the morning, what do you want?", he asked in a raspy, deep voice that made my legs quiver.

"I want you.", I replied as I moved my fingers into my slightly wet panties subconsciously.

"Noona didn't we just fuck yesterday-"

"I don't care I just want you in me."

"But what about your members? Last time Yuna and Yeji almost broke your door in while complaining about the noise."

"We don't have any schedule tomorrow and they're heavy sleepers, they only woke up last time because we started before they fell asleep"

"..."

"Fine I'll see you in ten minutes"

"You'll be here in five or I won't give you any pussy for the rest of the year."

"I'll see you in five minutes."

He arrived quicker then he promised, probably due to the lack of cars, and thereby lack of traffic, outside at this time. We sneakily made our way into my room, trying to not alert anyone, before closing the door behind us and starting immediately. I smashed my lips against his as the familiar taste of his coconut flavoured lip balm made its way into my mouth, his minty fresh breath following soon as his hands roamed around my body. His lips moved in sync with mine, as if he was trying to take the friction from them. His large hands palmed my ass as he tried to finger my asshole, only to be stopped by a wall of an pink, crystal shaped buttplug.

"I've been wanting to try something new", I shyly said as his penetrating gaze landed on my face, looking me into my eyes.

"I can tell", he replied before smirking and capturing my lips again.

We moved backwards towards my bed as I fell back and layed there. My body sprawled out as he took in every bit of skin that I was showing. I felt a bit judged by his look, my body heating up and cheeks forming a small blush as I looked everywhere but his face. My mind, however, went numb as soon as I felt the all too familiar feeling of his hot tongue pressing against my center. His wet muscle expertly moved around, licking and slurping my juiced while his thumb circled around my clit and his fingers curled inside of my pussy. My eyes rolled back as I felt the first of presumably many orgasms approach me. Nobody knew how to touch me like this. I looked down at him, his gaze meeting mine as he stared into my eyes while eating me out, his intense look intensifying the pleasure, pushing me over the edge as my hands grabbed two fistfuls of his hair and pressed his mouth harder against my body. I squirted onto his face, the warm and sticky liquid drenching his entire upper body as he simply opened his mouth and trues catching as much of my juices in his mouth as possible.

Breathing became hard, my vision became blurry as I felt the devil on my shoulder overpowering the angel, putting bad thoughts into my head, telling me to tell my childhood friend to fuck off and let me live my life. Y/n wasn't like anyone else. Everyone was a 'want' but he was a need. And he continued proving that to me every single time we spent time together.

Y/n POV

I looked at Ryujin, her flushed face being lit so beautifully by the moonlight. A cool breeze ran through her room, subconsciously making me shudder as the thought of a possible relationship with her shook me to my core. I was hurt by being turned down, hell who wouldn't be hurt by that, but I guess I wasn't what she wanted.

My life had been a rollercoaster of experiences. When I finished studying culinary arts I didn't expect myself to be working for celebrities all the time, nor did I expect to work in South Korea in the first place. The job was good, though. It paid well, the tips I received were more than friendly and the company was nice. I never thought that I'd become some kind of player but after Ryujin turned me down I sought love in other places, in other people. Deep down I knew there was no place for Ryujin in my heart, at least not anymore. That place belonged to Jimin, or Momo and Mina, or Taeyeon depending on the night, but I just couldn't see myself in a scenario where Ryujin wasn't close by.

The idea of telling her that I didn't want to be 'just' her booty call and borderline sex toy anymore crossed my mind every so often, but that thought was thrown out the window again every time I saw her like this, naked, heavy breathing, flustered and soft under my touch.

When I was woken up from that call I knew it was a bad idea. I knew I should've just ignored it and continued sleeping, coming up with literally any excuse as to why I didn't pick up. But my heart didn't allow that. Much like staying away from sweets during a diet, like quitting smoking or drinking after doing it for so long, I wasn't able to. I craved for her sweetness, I desired the dopamine that was synthesised every single time I saw her smile, stroked her hair while she laid on my chest and vented about the stress she had to suffer from. I was an addict and Ryujin was my drug.

I slowly stood up from my kneeling position, the corners of my mouth dripping with her cum as I licked it clean as well as I could. I ditched my shirt, throwing it somewhere in the corner of Ryujin's room, where it would probably would stay as she was keen to steal my stuff. The light wind, courtesy of the open windows passed by my back, making the hairs on my arm stand up. Although the distant noises of the city could be heard, the room was quiet. Heavy breathing was the only thing anyone could register as Ryujin tried calming herself from her high. In moments like these the devil on my shoulder whispered in my ear, telling me that I should try seducing Ryujin into a relationship, but I knew better, I knew not to hurt myself with ridiculous expectations and delusional ideas.

My brain tried figuring out whether or not any of her members heard her scream just now, as the sudden sounds of metal clashing against each other ripped me out of my train of thought. I looked down and saw a dazed Ryujin fighting my belt for access into my underwear, her senses still a bit cloudy from her high just mere moments ago. A few seconds later, she managed to unbuckle it and in one swift motion threw my pants and boxers onto the ground, my large member smacking her in the face as I kicked both pieces of clothing left on my body away.

According to her, I was the largest she had ever seen. Ryujin never told me, but I knew she had other partners. It was obvious that we both knew that we weren't meant for each other, we both knew falling for each other would be a mistake, but something pulled us together. I always cursed at god for making me feel these one sided, unreciprocated feelings for her, as I thought this was a cruel, sick prank pulled by the one above us as a way of punishing me for not going to church that often anymore but whether I liked it or not, it didn't change anything.

Ryujin, once again took me out of my mental dilemma as she started stroking my dick, her fingers brushing against the tip, spreading my precum around the member, using it as lubricant. She looked up at me, a small blush still on her cheeks while her mouth curved into a smirk, followed by a lip bite. Her left hand soon joined in pleasuring me as she started fondling my balls before, finally, taking my cock into her mouth.

Her throat felt tight, wet and hot. Her tongue brushed across my base, stopping only to lick the tip as she played with the slit on my head. Her throat muscles worked around my shaft as her head continued going down inch by inch, desperate to throat everything and reach the base. I grabbed her hair, making a makeshift pony tail as to keep the hair out of her face. The formerly silent room was now filled with wet slurping noises and gagging sounds as she impaled her face on my crotch.

I closed my eyes in pleasure as my hips started moving on their own, fucking into Ryujin's throat, reaching as deep as she could take, before I slowly backed up and allowed her to breathe. Ryujin gasped for air, her saliva connecting her lips with my dick in a long string of spit. Her chin was soaked, spit and precum dripping down it and onto her sheets. Ryujin practically pulled me into her as she formed a tight vacuum around my dick, blowing bubbles at the tip before going back down and deep throating as much as she could fit.

The oral pleasure continued for a while, my climax nowhere near close but making itself known before I pulled myself out of her and told her to lay down with her legs spread. Ryujin looked me in the eyes hungrily, for the first time this night without blushing at the mere sight of me, indicating that she had reached the 'zone', a state in which one is focused on nothing but the task at hand. Her body was godly, something straight out of a painting, often making me question whether or not she was real, a feeling I felt every time I saw an idol up close.

Her pussy was soaked, a small bush visible, wet from a mixture of her arousal and my own saliva from before. Her nipples were erect, her chest rising and falling as she looked at me in anticipation. Her hair clung to her forehead as sweat glistened on her body.

"Are you going to stare at me the whole time or will you start fucking me soon?", she asked annoyed.

I rolled my eyes at her antics. I knew she didn't mean that. She had told me before that she appreciated it greatly how obviously I thought she was gorgeous. Ryujin had a hard time in the beginning of her career due to the ridiculous beauty standards in that field and the entitled and obnoxious netizens. She had always looked great, and I admired her ever since she debuted and we got to know each other, but she still got harassed online because of her looks. I remember last year, in the night of their 'Loco' release, she called me crying, in fear of what people would say about her. To me, that night will always stay close to my heart. We didn't have sex that night. I didn't want to. It felt wrong, like I was abusing her vulnerability. I think that that night changed everything about us.

I leaned down, kissing her as I knew this was the only way of shutting her up. My hands rubbed her inner thighs, kneading the soft flesh before aligning my cock and pushing inside her. Her pussy stretched around my member, her eyes rolling back as her body became even more flushed than it was before. Her chest started rising and falling faster as she adapted to the new feeling. Ryujin wrapped her legs around my torso and her hands around my neck as I felt her lips kissing and sucking my neck and collarbone. I thrusted into her, reaching as deep as I could inside her pussy as her moans grew louder and louder, to the point where, no matter how heavy of a sleeper her members were, I'm sure they'd wake up.

The sounds of cars honking and drunk adults shouting was now entirely blended out as Ryujin's room filled with mewls and groans of our names, the former being much louder than the ladder. Skin slapped against each other, wet squelching noises being produced as my dick slid in and out of her soaked womanhood, her nails digging into my back as she searched for anything to hold on to. Ryujin threw her head back into the pillows to the point where it looked like she was trying to disappear inside them. Her legs shook before becoming jelly as her mouth hung open and her screams grew louder. She tightened her grip around me as her walls contracted around my cock, milking me dry another orgasm hit her.

With one last cry she pushed my head into her shoulder and moaned my name into my ear as her juices sprayed all over my torso and the sheets of her bed. My hips never stopped moving as I felt my own high coming soon. I burrier myself deep as I felt her tap my shoulder, indicating that I should pull out. My thrusts grew sloppy and less consistent as the thought of leaving this comforting warmth broke through my mind like a sledgehammer, before I ultimately pulled out and stroked myself for the last few seconds, erupting in a sea of semen, coating Ryujin's toned stomach, her breasts and nipples and her face.

I fell back onto my ass as I tried catching my breath, sweat dripping down my forehead as I felt a pair of eyes on my frame.

3rd Person POV

Ryujin slowly stood up, her legs having little to no energy left in them as she scooped up the cum from her body and put it into her mouth. Her breathing was still heavy, uncontrolled, but as was her lust. Her needs weren't satisfied, her frustration with the situation she had put herself in wasn't gone and as weren't her feelings. Ryujin looked at Y/n, like a predator would look at its prey, even though their dynamic was more like predator and weaker predator, and slowly crawled towards him.

"You can still go, right?"

"You did say you wanted to try something new", he responded as his arms wrapped around her body, playing with her the outside of the diamond shaped plug inside her asshole.

He slowly pulled at it, before pushing it back in, teasing her and making her anticipation rise. Every time she felt him pulling at her plug her breath hitched, yet he never fully committed to it until finally, with a satisfying *pop* she felt her puckered hole feel a lot less full.

She looked at Y/n as he examined the pink diamond shaped object in his hand before throwing it to the side and kissing Ryujin again, this time with much more vigor.

The pair fell back onto the bed, their hands exploring each others bodies for what felt like the fiftieth time this night. Y/n's lips traveled across her body, leaving marks in every area he knew she would hide on stage as Ryujin's breathy voice called out to him.

"Y-Y/n. There's a- mHm bottle of lube in the fIRST drawer AHH"

Y/n's left arm roamed around the drawer until finding the small bottle of neutral scented lube.

"Turn around", he told her, completely neglecting any kind of honorific towards his elder.

Ryunjin did as told without opening her mouth, pushing her head into her pillows, arching her back and putting her ass up, swaying it lightly as if she was teasing Y/n.

Y/n took in the view in front of him, her glistening pussy, dripping in arousal, the cum from before still on her lower stomach, her asshole clenching as if it was trying to suck him in. He leaned down, sticking his tongue out as he licked around her asshole making the hairs on Ryujin's body stand up from the new sensation. His hands spread her ass cheeks apart as he dove in, eating her out and lubricating with his saliva.

Ryujin's moans grew loader as the new sensation befell her, Y/n's tongue doing wonders on her as she pushed her head deeper into the pillow and her ass harder against Y/n's awaiting tongue.

After a few minutes of oral pleasure he stopped, the warm feeling of his wet tongue being replaced by cold lube which he spread around her asshole before taking two fingers and sliding them in, spreading it and stretching Ryujin's unused hole even more. He took a generous amount of the same lube and put it on his hard member, spreading it by giving it a few strokes before aligning it between her ass cheeks and slowly inserting himself.

The feeling was different to her other two holes. It was tighter, rougher and warmer. It was almost suffocating, as if it was quite literally sucking him in and keeping him there. Ryujin shuddered as she felt herself stuffed to a degree unknown to her up to that point. She bit the pillowcases as to not scream in pleasure, her knuckles turning white as she held onto the sheets tightly.

They stayed in that position for a while, Y/n giving his lover enough time to get adjusted to the feeling before slowly thrusting in and out of her. He threw his head back in pleasure as Ryujin's tight hole sucked him dry, using any kind of self control he had to not cum inside her immediately.

Y/n, not wanting to reach his climax first, decided to play unfairly. He grabbed Ryujin's hair, making her look up at him as he thrusted into her. He kissed her, her eyes being shut closely as pleasure overtook her. His other hand slapped her ass cheeks, altering between the two, leaving both of them red with his hand print on them. He soon switched tactics, letting Ryujin's head fall into her pillow and instead using one hand to stimulate her pussy. His fingers trailed around her labia, teasing her, before sticking them in, penetrating her from two ends at the same time. In the meantime, his thumb circled around her clit, sending waves of pleasure through her body.

All of this stimulation soon culminated into her high, the biggest one for the night, as she screamed in a volume that surely had woken up at least one person, her pussy spraying what had to be the equivalent of a small waterfall of cum onto the now completely soaked through sheets under them. Her body collapsed and fell down onto the bed as her legs trembled and her eyes kept shut.

Y/n continued thrusting into her, now in a prone bone position. He was satisfied with his work and now allowed himself to cum. He continued thrusting, deep and hard, his member pulsating with each passing second before finally exploding in a wave of long, thick, hot and sticky spurts of sperm, painting and coating the entirety of Ryujin's insides white.

He held himself above her for a few seconds, unloading everything he had, before his arms gave up and he fell down next to her, his cock slick due to a mixture of their cum and the lube.

He was a mess, his hair completely all over the place, his body sticky with residue of Ryujin's cum and his sweat, his back full of marks caused by Ryujin's nails and his neck and chest full of hickeys.

Ryujin herself was even more of a mess. A pool of thick cum seeping out of her asshole and onto her thighs, her pussy and asscheeks red and beaten up, her body equally as sticky and sweaty and her chest full of hickeys.

The pair caught their breath as Ryujin used whatever strength was left inside her and made her way onto her lover's chest. The two stayed in that position for a while, not saying anything, just listening to each other's heartbeats.

Y/n POV

It was as if time had stopped. I looked at her sleeping figure and smiled to myself. It was a bittersweet feeling. My heart longed for something more than whatever we were having, but I knew it wasn't possible. I sighed as I stood up, quietly as to not wake her up. I put my clothes on in silence, going to her drawer and taking out a small piece of paper. I wrote a note on it, explaining where I'd gone to, and kissed her on her forehead, leaving afterwards. It was probably better that way.

Dear Ryujin,

I apologise for not staying the night, noona, but I have work in the morning and I'm sure you'd rather rest in an empty bed than one where I'd take up most of the space. I put as much as I could into the washing machine but you still need to change the sheets. I've been thinking about our situationship for a long time and I now know that I can't do this anymore. I can't just stay friends with benefits. It's not what I need, nor is it what I want. I apologise again for doing it this way, but I think it's the easiest and least painful way to do it. I will always hold you close to my heart and I will always be glad to cater to your and your group's needs, but I can't stand the idea of having you and still not having you, if you know what I mean.

Love always,

Y/n.

I sighed as I exited the room, closing the door slowly behind me.

"You know the two of you really need how to learn to be quiet.", a voice called out to me.

"Jesus, Yeji noona, you scared the shit out of me"

"YOU woke me up like three times. Seriously there's no way your dick is that good."

"Noona-"

"If not for Ryujin stealing you I'd have tried for myself but-"

"Yeji, me and Ryujin will not be seeing each other anymore.", I interrupted her.

"Oh-"

"I should get going. Sorry for waking you up, I hope you have a good night, though."

As I opened the door I felt a pair of arms wrap around my body. My heart dropped as I thought this was Ryujin but my nose told me it was someone else.

"If you want to talk about it, I'm always here to listen to you, Y/n", Yeji said in a small voice.

"Thank you noona, I really appreciate it."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not right now, thank you."

"Thats fine. Just remember, whenever you need someone, I'll always be here, with open arms and open legs-"

"Love you too, noona. Stay safe and have a good night. I'll see you sometime at the restaurant.", I said while going out the door.

I made my way to my car, walking across the parking lot quickly. It was a cool night, a light breeze but nothing too serious. I opened the door and just sat there, starring into space and thinking about nothing in particular. I felt something drop on my lap and realised that I had been crying. Silent tears rolled down my face as I realised my biggest fear had come true.

My relationship with Ryujin was no more.

A small buzz from my pocket took me out of my frozen state as I went to check the notification. It was just Yeji texting me once again that she felt sorry for whatever happened and that she'd be there to listen to me.

I replied to her and just as I was about to close my phone, another message popped up.

Taeyeon🤍

>hey Y/nn~ I don't know if you're still up, I don't even know why I'm up myself but the preparations for my concert have just finished and I was thinking about you before going to sleep ;)

>are you free this weekend? I'd love to have you at my concert, I could get you backstage if you wanted to.

>there will be a lot of my old colleagues and other idols but I still feel like I'll perform better with your support.

>I can also give you a private show afterwards if you want, you know as a thank you for all the tasty meals you've given me in your restaurant and my bedroom ;)

>let me know if you have time, I'd love to have you there~

'hey noona, i'm still awake, can't sleep tonight haha.i'd love to be there and i actually don't have anything planned for this weekend. it'd be an honour to be backstage and support you from up close, you know how much i love you and your music. i was actually thinking about meeting up tomorrow, do you have time or is your schedule still busy from preparations and last minute rehearsals?'<

Taeyeon🤍

>I'm a bit busy tomorrow but you know I can always make time for you, handsome~

>just swing by the SM building tomorrow around 7ish and I'll have my manager pick you up and drive you to my place.

>see you tomorrow~

This woman will be the death of me.

to be continued

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