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themurphyzone · 3 years

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Nova Ch 10

AN: I think that reunion with Snowball went pretty well!

Ch 10: White Dwarves

AO3 Link, FFN Link

Terran Date 2015.4.26

I’m stuck in a backwater lab with an idiot who believes you can transform a rock into gold by spray painting it. Nothing else worth reporting.

o-o-o-o-o

Pinky winced as Brain slammed his hand against the computer mouse, saving the oddly brief recording to the computer. He didn’t bother with his usual sign-off either. Just buried his face between his hands and growled to himself.

Brain had been in a foul mood ever since the tea party, snapping whenever Pinky tried to ask a question and making messes without bothering to clean up after himself. He wasn’t the only one affected by Snowball suddenly leaving. Madame Daisy was still pretty miffed about Snowball’s lack of etiquette when he didn’t say goodbye to the other guests or say thank you to the host. And Brain hadn’t done those either.

Maybe Pinky should’ve warned them about Madame Daisy being a stickler for tea party etiquette.

But more importantly, the deadline for RSVPing was tomorrow at 8 pm and they still hadn’t called Lamont Manor. More than once, Pinky brought it up in conversation and left post-it notes as reminders, but Brain always shut the topic down and shredded the notes into confetti.

It stung when he did that, but Pinky shook it off and saved the itty-bitty scraps. One never knew when they’d need good confetti.

Pinky’s ears twitched towards the cage at the sound of Brain’s groan. Brain had already drained a full water bottle and was steadily working his way through a second. While Pinky was happy his alien friend had gotten used to water, mostly so they could play Marco Polo and waterski with popsicle sticks, maybe there was such a thing as too much water.

“Brain?” Pinky called, nearly slipping on a puddle. He frowned. There were several puddles and no sign of Brain at least trying to keep this side of the cage neat. “Er, don’t you think that’s enough? Awfully hard to sleep if you have to keep getting up for the bathroom.”

“Just leave me alone,” Brain muttered. He sipped from the tube again without taking his glare off Pinky. Water dribbled down his chin.

No, he was absolutely not leaving Brain alone! Pinky stomped his foot, startling Brain when he tried to sneak another drink.

“That’s it!” Pinky shouted. He tugged his ears and released them with a sharp snap. “I’m gonna give you tough love whether you like it or not, mistah!”

Before Brain could react, Pinky snatched him away from the water bottle and tucked him under one arm like he was cradling a football. Brain kicked and squirmed in his grip, trying to smack him with his tail, but Pinky had a firm hold. With his free hand, he pulled a fedora off the coat rack as he marched out of the cage and over to the stereo.

It was a little worn from age, but it still worked alright.

He dropped Brain, who let out a little oomph when his stomach hit the counter. Smacking the play button with his foot, Pinky kept one hand on his fedora as he counted the beats until the main melody began.

“Just say narf! Just say narf!

Don’t you know to be glad? Just say narf!

Every day is a joy and so-”

The music shut off.

Surprised by the lack of background music, Pinky checked behind him, arms still thrown above his head with the fedora hanging from one hand.

Brain stood in front of the stereo, his hand over the stop button. “Just what in Orion’s belt are you trying to accomplish with this display?” he snapped, crossing his arms.

“You’ve been a grumpasaurus rex ever since the tea party! So I’m cheering you up with one of my favorite songs!” Pinky protested.

“You can’t cheer me up by manhandling me and saying nonsense!” Brain yelled.

“I said narf, not nonsense!”

“They’re synonymous!”

“No, they’re not! They agreed they could date other people and they still have a trusting relationship! And you wanna know what else? They actually clean up after themselves too!”

“GAH!”

“TROZ!”

Their noses were just a few inches apart, chests huffing and puffing like they were about to blow the Three Little Pigs’ houses down. Brain broke away from the staredown first, clasping his hands behind his back as he sulked.

Pinky counted one Mississippi, five Mississippis, and seventeen Mississippi’s, his hand against his racing heart as he breathed in and out to calm down. And why did they only count Mississippi? Why not Alabama, Georgia, or Papua New Guinea?

Brain was a closed book at the best of times, it seemed. One of those heavy textbooks with lots of big words, not a happy, colorful picture book like Pat the Bunny.

But he wasn’t a good actor, though he pretended to be above happiness, fear, and sorrow.

“You know you can talk to me, right? About your feelings or world domination or secret crushes. Anything you want,” Pinky said, wringing his tail in his hands. It looked like a very sad, wiggling worm under his fingers. The smooth surface under his fingers helped a little, but it didn’t replace a full snout hug from Pharfignewton. “I...I was just trying to help.”

“World domination is the only topic worth discussing out of everything you said. Emotions are irrelevant,” Brain said. There was still a bite in his tone, but not much. He rubbed his arm, feet shuffling uncomfortably. “So you were truthful about wanting to...assist during my period of inactivity?”

Pinky tilted his head. “Why would I lie about wanting to help? That would be mean, Brain.”

“Helping is just another way of ensuring someone owes a favor. Or it would be mutually beneficial to all parties involved,” Brain replied. His sharp gaze snapped back to Pinky. “Our deal is just one example out of many.”

“What about helping you cause I wanted you to feel better?”

Didn’t that count? He didn’t know why Brain was making it all so complicated.

“As I stated before, your song was nonsense and your method was invasive.” Brain shot a disdainful glare at the stereo. “But I can’t entirely fault you for your intentions, however misguided, though I suggest having a concrete reward in mind next time.”

Pinky grinned and let go of his tail. “Oh, that’s easy! Lemme grab a chunk of concrete off the street!”

Brain sighed, stomping over to a top drawer, perching on the edge of the counter as he slid it open. “That won’t be necessary, Pinky.”

“Looking for something, Brain?” Pinky asked.

“I can find it on my own!” Brain tried to wave him off, but overbalanced and fell into the open drawer, landing on his stomach with a muffled oomph. He spat a scrap of paper out of his mouth, kicking a red pen aside as he rolled onto his back.

Pinky’s fingers drummed on the counter as he peered down at Brain. A light cherry color coated his sagging cheeks.

“I’d rather direct my focus somewhere else for the time being.” Brain wasn’t making eye contact with Pinky. Which was a shame, because his eyes were the prettiest shade of pink. “I don’t require anything else after you point me to the cleaning supplies.”

Pinky blinked at him in surprise, but they were getting somewhere now! He could do a cartwheel, kiss a cockatoo, and dance the Macarena! Maybe not in that order, or all at once, but there’s a first time for everything!

A smile spread across Pinky’s face, and he couldn’t help but laugh when Brain’s head began to resemble a lumpy tomato.

o-o-o-o-o

Several hours later, Pinky yawned as the first rays of sunlight gently crept across the bed. The distant sounds of cars caught in traffic on the nearby bridge combined with the gentle thrum of lab technology formed the usual background noises, greeting him with a new day. Freeing his legs and tail from the blanket, he dipped into a luxurious, catlike stretch, arching his back and raising his rear end and tail as high as they would go.

“Wakey-wakey, Brain! Narf!” Pinky exclaimed as he shook Brain’s shoulder.

Brain mumbled to himself and buried his head into his pillow, curling into a very tight cocoon to block out the light. If Brain wanted to hatch into a pretty butterfly, he needed all the rest he could get, so Pinky left him alone.

But it was worth a shot, even if Brain wasn’t a morning mouse.

Pinky ate a plateful of food pellets for a quick breakfast, then washed it down with water. The area around the water bottle was puddle-free and mostly clean, save for a stubborn stain on a cage bar by the floor. But that spot gave Pinky plenty of trouble too, so he didn’t hold it against Brain.

He coaxed a drop of water out of the tubing and splashed it on his face, then squeezed through the cage bars, hands behind his back as he strolled over to the cap Snowball had given him.

He’d spent most of his time decorating it with whatever he could find for the past few days. Glittery, colorful letters that spelled Pharfignewton were glued across the brim, give or take a few letters. Her name was so long that it didn’t fit and the ‘ewton’ was on a separate row beneath the rest. Feathers, ribbons, and encouraging messages on sticky notes covered the blue fabric.

It was coming along nicely. Pinky backed up a few steps, sticking out his tongue and placing his fingers together like he was taking a picture.

“Just needs a little something,” Pinky murmured, tapping his chin to get the idea muscle in his head working. It usually worked best after he ate, so coming up with something should be a cinch!

Then he snapped his fingers together, a little lightbulb flickering overhead with a satisfying click. Wait, no, no. That was just the light turning on cause a sleepy scientist trudged in, dragging his feet to the kitchen. He didn’t see Pinky waving good morning to him.

Hopefully the man liked decaf, because they were all out of regular coffee.

Pinky folded red tissue paper into a rose, then repeated the step with purple tissue paper. “Thank you, DIY craft videos on Youtube!” he hummed.

He needed more roses to go all the way around. Kentucky Derby hats were always decked out with pretty roses. Oh, he could arrange the roses into a pretty red-purple-red-purple pattern!

And toss some glitter onto the roses too! Can’t go wrong with glitter!

He dumped a generous amount of pink glitter on his rose and glued it to the hat.

More scientists trickled in, shuffling off to the kitchen in search of coffee and once again ignoring Pinky and his pretty hat. They didn’t seem too keen on coming today. He couldn’t imagine why. Monday was such a lovely day and it never got the appreciation it deserved.

Since they had a bad habit of moving items around so Pinky could never find them, he hid his unfinished hat in the back of a large drawer. Nobody ever looked there anyway.

He hauled himself out of the drawer. As he climbed back to the counter, he paused to admire the calendar picture of Mickey Mouse giving flowers to Minnie. Beneath it, the box for April 27 was circled in glittery blue.

Right, wasn’t there something they were supposed to do today?

RSVP BY 8 PM! NARF!

Right, they still had stuff to do if they were gonna have the best weekend ever! They still had to find costumes for the masquerade ball! Especially the masks! Masks were the most important part!

And they had to call soon, or they wouldn’t be able to go.

“Brain!” Pinky shouted as he ran inside the cage, snatching up the invitation card from the corner. Brain was out of bed and trying to eat a food pellet, though his expression was pinched from the dryness of his breakfast. “Oh, that brand is pretty dry. That’s why I saute it in three-and-one oil first. Anyway, you’re already up?”

Brain scowled and swallowed his morsel with difficulty. “How can I possibly sleep with all this racket?”

A cupboard slammed down the hall, followed by loud profanity that would’ve made Pinky’s grandmother clutch her pearls and faint.

Apparently, nobody wanted decaf.

Pinky held the invitation close to a scowling Brain. “See? We’ve gotta call now or they won’t let us in! Then we won’t be able to swim in the chocolate fountain or admire the ice sculptures!”

Brain shoved the card away from his face. “Heaven forbid we miss those banal activities,” he replied, pressing two hands to his cheeks.

“Exactly!” Pinky’s tail twitched in anticipation. “And we still need fancy outfits and masks!”

Brain took another food pellet, grimaced, and tossed it back into the bowl. Then he sighed and rubbed his temples. “This is a rather asinine plan, Snowball,” he muttered. “Come again?” Pinky asked. He could’ve sworn Brain said Snowball’s name.

Which was weird, because Snowball wasn’t even here. Unless Brain named the food bowl Snowball. That made more sense.

“Never mind, Pinky,” Brain sighed. “Forgive me for my reservations.”

“But we haven’t made those reservations yet,” Pinky said. Brain didn’t reply, too focused on valiantly keeping his breakfast down. Then Brain drank from the water bottle, careful not to splash too much. Once he finished, he headed to the cage door, and Pinky dutifully followed. He hopped from toe to toe as Brain unlocked the door with a bent paper clip. “Can I place the call, Brain?”

“This is a delicate operation, Pinky,” Brain replied. “We must use our given aliases so that we won’t be found out prematurely. I can’t risk you blabbing our true identities, so I’ll speak to our less than gracious host myself. Now, hand over the card.”

It was true.

He wasn’t a good liar at all.

Pinky held out the card, but before Brain could take it, a balding man with a bad combover and rumpled labcoat tried to yank him out of the cage by his crooked tail. The scientist yelped in pain as the orb sparked in his hand, leaving red marks on his skin. Startled, Freed from his grip, Brain leapt forward and tripped over himself. Pinky dropped the card and caught Brain by the shoulders before he could slam nose-first into the metal floor.

The red orbs on Brain’s antennae glowed for several seconds before fading away. Then Brain regained his footing and gave Pinky a brief nod as thanks, quickly pulling away to recollect himself.

The contact ended all too soon.

The man flicked his hand to get rid of the shock, muttering to himself as he pulled on a pair of rubber gloves.

“What’s going on?” Brain snapped. “We have important business to conduct!”

“Don’t worry, Brain. It’s just Maze Monday!” Pinky said, fixing his messy tuft as best he could without a mirror. He had to look his best for maze running! “We’ll call afterward!”

The scientist reached in again. Though Brain defiantly stood in the corner away from him, it was no use and he was pulled out of the cage. He dangled in the scientist’s gloved hand by the tail, grumpy at his current position.

Pinky was next. He swung from the scientist’s other hand as he was lifted into the air, pumping his legs back and forth like he was on an upside down swing. Giggling, he reached out and tried to touch Brain’s ears, though he was several inches short.

With one mouse dangling from each hand, the scientist walked out of the room and carried them down the hallway. They passed the college interns who were more interested in selfies than work, the security guard who was always shouting about evil rodents and their master plan to hoard the world’s entire cheese supply for themselves, and a bored female scientist who looked like she’d rather be anywhere else but here.

The scientist entered a room on his left. Along the wall, several guinea pigs rested in their cages. Pinky waved to them, but since he didn’t have any food, the guinea pigs weren’t interested.

They were dropped at the start of a large cardboard maze. The scientist adjusted the cameras mounted above the maze, then left the room.

Just him and Brain now.

“Your scientists display a disturbing lack of regard for our tails,” Brain grumbled, rubbing the soreness out of one zigzagged bend. “Not that Selenians were any better.”

“But if they hold the tip just right, you can swing around like a little monkey!” Pinky said. “I mean, my rear gets a bit sore too, and sometimes you might crash into a wall, but it’s still loads of fun! Haven’t you ever tried it, Brain?”

“While that activity is suitable for inane creatures, it doesn’t befit a future world emperor to behave in such an embarrassing manner.” Brain dusted off his jumpsuit, though it was recently washed and wasn’t particularly dirty. “But I digress. We must focus on surviving this perilous maze so that we may RSVP to the event in time.”

Perilous?

But he didn’t see any pearls anywhere. It was just cardboard and metal as far as the eye could see. Pearls would’ve brightened this drab maze a lot.

There were four directions to pick from. Pinky scratched his head. Which one?

The left path looked fun, but the one behind and in front were dimly lit. Which left the right path. And since it was right, that meant it was the right way!

“Let’s go! The right path is always right! Zort!” Pinky exclaimed. He walked to the right path, but Brain hauled him back by the elbow.

“Don’t assume the direction and the certainty of success are one and the same, Pinky,” Brain said firmly. “We have to take precautions.”

Pinky didn’t think they had to be careful though. There wasn’t anyone else here. Unless the guinea pigs counted, but they weren’t in the maze.

His usual strategy was to run around silly-willy until he found the snack at the end. But in all his years, he’d never actually found the snack. Usually he just ran into walls and daydreamed about cheese until a nice scientist got him out.

And cheese kept the spookiness away.

“There’s nobody here but us,” Pinky said.

“There’s nobody visible in this maze but us,” Brain corrected. “If we’re not careful, we could fall victim to traps. Enough arguing, Pinky. We’re taking the left fork.”

There weren’t any forks to take, nor anything to eat using a fork, but at least Brain was nice enough to drag Pinky down his second choice instead of the dimly lit paths.

Brain stuck close to the walls, grabbing Pinky’s wrist to ensure he did the same. As they came upon a T-section where they could either turn left or right, Brain carefully held his antennae back with his free hand and poked his head around the corner. Pinky tried to lean over Brain to see what was so interesting, but a sharp nudge kept him back.

“Whatcha looking for?” Pinky asked. “Besides cardboard.”

“Bright, confined areas are the safest,” Brain said. “It’s not a complete guarantee, but you can at least watch for disturbances on the floor or wall. We’ll head right. I can’t see the end of the left corridor from here.”

He let go of Pinky’s wrist, but gave him stern instructions to stay along the wall. It was just like giving the wall a really long hug, and Pinky licked the wall to thank it for hugging back.

Huh. So cardboard tastes like cardboard then. Not bad, but it could definitely use some parsley.

Halfway down the corridor, Brain’s breath suddenly hitched. He stared at the floor in front of them, where one edge of the cardboard was a little higher than the other. The line spanned the entire length between the two walls.

“Don’t get too close,” Brain said, pushing Pinky back before he could step on it. “Remember, strange patterns in the structure might reveal the location of a trap.”

It looked like a normal ledge though. Completely harmless.

But if the trap only worked when they stepped on it...then the trick was to not step on it!

Brain let go of Pinky’s wrist as he pondered their next course of action. Taking his chances, Pinky backed up several paces, keeping his eye on the line he couldn’t touch.

Then he sprinted forward, ignoring Brain’s shout for him to stop.

Pinky leapt as high as he could, easily clearing the line. Though he couldn’t quite stick the landing and toppled forward as soon as he touched the ground.

Still had to work on his weak ankles.

Hopping to his feet, Pinky turned to a flabbergasted Brain. Ha! He loved that word. Flabbergasted! Too bad it was a bit long for a catchphrase.

Instead of being impressed, Brain glared at him.

“Do you have any idea how dangerous your stunt was?” Brain shouted. “You could’ve been severely incapacitated!”

Pinky stretched his legs to test his ankles, but they felt alright. No harm done.

“Narf! But my ankles are fine! See?” Pinky shook his ankles so Brain could see they weren’t hurt.

“And if there was a motion sensor?” Brain snapped. “Did you consider the possibility of spikes, projectiles, or electrocution?”

“Um…”

The scientists wouldn’t be mean enough to put those in a maze. Of course, sometimes they’d forget to take him out when he couldn’t find the exit, and he’d lay in the maze alone and listen to the lab’s scary nighttime noises, but he’d never seen spikes during these tests before.

“Thought so,” Brain said. There was something odd about the way his hand twitched towards his tail.

Like he had personal experience.

“Have you ever been caught in a trap before?” Pinky asked before he could stop himself.

Too much?

Brain folded his arms and lifted his chin, pink eyes narrowing at Pinky. Probably not then. Brain was too smart for that.

And definitely clever enough to find his way to the exit and not get stuck overnight.

Then Brain turned around so Pinky could see all the zigzags in his tail.

“Electrocution trap,” Brain said, his ears lowering. “An overload of electricity can be fatal for my species, though we’re naturally resistant to smaller shocks. I was...less experienced back then.”

There was more. Brain wasn’t telling him how much it hurt.

But Brain tensed, a silent warning not to push any further.

“They didn’t leave you in the maze overnight, did they?” Pinky asked. Brain went dangerously still.

Oh, there he went running his mouth again! Why couldn’t his mouth be good and stay zipped?

“Sorry, Brain. You don’t have to answer. It’s fine, really!” Pinky hastily corrected himself. “But if they did-”

"No, they didn't," Brain said, surprising Pinky with how much he was revealing. "They kept a strict count of all their test subjects, and preserving them was far more preferable to losing a valuable limited resource. Small mercies, I suppose.”

“Oh. Well...that’s good.” Pinky rubbed the back of his neck. He was glad Brain never had to deal with that. He wouldn’t wish it on anybody, not even that stubborn stain he could never rub out from the cage bars. “Poit.”

Brain turned back to Pinky and looked at the line between them. Then he hopped over it, bracing himself for a shock. When no electricity appeared, he seemed surprised, though he immediately tried to school his expression into a neutral one. He walked past Pinky and refused an invitation to hug it out.

They had to turn left at the next intersection since the right led to a dead end. Then they reached an open room with a cardboard path and a metal path. Brain chose the metal path, but stopped where the rough paper met cool metal. Pinky stopped behind him.

“Pinky?” Brain said. He didn’t turn around. “Were you left in a maze overnight?”

“Sometimes,” Pinky admitted. Was he worrying Brain? He didn’t want Brain to worry! “But it’s not so bad when you imagine all the cheese you’ll eat at the end, even if you never reach it. But cheese keeps the ghosts away, you know. They don’t like the smell.”

If he imagined cheese, he wouldn’t imagine long, crooked witch fingers trying to pluck him out. Or the loud air conditioning system which clicked on and off every few minutes, the ghostly breeze echoing down the hallway. Or how he called for his parents and Sis to come share a yummy feast with him, though they never came.

“That’s horribly negligent on the humans’ end.”

And that was all the talk Brain allowed on the matter.

o-o-o-o-o

The maze was a lot longer than they thought. Just when Pinky believed they’d reached the cheese, there was always some new twist that set them back.

What time was it? Though he couldn’t see the clock, it had to be around lunchtime right now. Pinky’s stomach growled, sounding a lot like Brain in one of his moods.

He’d give an arm and a leg for a few food pellets. Or some cheese. Even a leaf.

Brain was tiring out too. His footsteps were heavier and slower. But he kept at it.

Right, focus on the goal. Focus on the yummy cheese.

What kind would they get? Moldy? Blue? Provolone? All of those sounded pretty good, but Pinky thought his stomach was calling for pepperjack. Oh wait, no, maybe it was gorgonzola.

His stomach grumbled again. Okay, it was definitely muenster this time.

They came across a path with a thick sheet of metal on top. So dark that they couldn’t see a thing in front of them. Brain took a deep breath and stuck a hand in the darkness. They only saw his wrist.

His fingers were completely swallowed by the inky, hungry darkness.

Brain took his hand out.

Oh. Not swallowed then. All his fingers were still there.

“We’ve exhausted all our options,” Brain said, pounding his fist into his hand in determination. But even that gesture couldn’t hide how he stuck to the wall like glue. Pinky didn’t blame him. It was awfully dark in there. What if they went in and were never found again? “Taking this path is absolutely necessary if we’re to make it out of this labyrinth in time.”

But they couldn’t see the traps. It wasn’t safe.

Unless…

“Brain, your orbs!” Pinky exclaimed, gently tapping an antenna. “If you make ‘em glow, we won’t get lost or fall into a trap!”

Brain didn’t look so sure. He rubbed the back of his neck. “Not a terrible suggestion for once, Pinky. Unfortunately, it’s not something I have voluntary control over. It’s a hormonal response that occurs when I’m...well, happy.”

“So we’ll just have to make you happy enough for your orbs to glow,” Pinky said.

With what? Brain raised an eyebrow, the silent question obvious.

Then Pinky snapped his fingers. He knew what to do! He'd sing Just Say Narf!

Except he was trying to make Brain happy, not himself.

A no-go then.

Cream cheese and blueberry bagels? Out of reach.

Pinky tapped his chin. This was harder than he thought.

Brain sat against the wall, eyes squeezed shut and hands rubbing circles into his large forehead. “Statues, parades, my jewel-encrusted cummerbund…” he murmured.

He was doing one of those smartypants things. Too smart for Pinky to understand.

Brain growled and opened his eyes in irritation. “Cease your staring at once, Pinky. I’m trying to concentrate.”

“On what?” Pinky asked.

“World domination of course,” Brain said, smacking his ear like he was dumping extra thoughts out of his chubby head. “Accomplishing a goal would naturally bring anyone contentment.”

Pinky zipped his lip and threw away the key, then sat against the wall across from Brain and waited.

Yet Brain’s orbs didn’t glow.

Pinky drummed his fingers against his leg. When he drummed all the songs he knew, he tried to lick his elbow. Except his elbow didn’t want to be licked. He leaned in and stuck his tongue out as far as he could, but it was a very stubborn elbow.

After an eternity, Brain finally spoke, his voice full of cautious hope. “Are they glowing now?”

Pinky shook his head, and Brain slumped against the wall in defeat.

The clock ticked on.

“There’s gotta be other things you like besides world domination,” Pinky said. It made sense to have a lot of likes and favorites, and not just on social media.

“Those ‘other things’ are frivolous at best and distractions at worst,” Brain replied. “Taking over this world would make me happy, so there’s no logical reason as to why it’s not working.”

Maybe it was happy, but they had to think happier. No, they had to think happiest!

Brain said ‘this world’. Right, he was a Selenian. Funny how it seemed like he’d been here forever instead of just a few days.

A Selenian. Brain never revealed much about where he came from. Just that he wanted to leave it all behind. And he only spoke about their technology. But there was more than that, right?

“Narf! It’s funny, Brain,” Pinky said, holding his toes as he rocked back and forth. Brain looked at him, confused. “You’ve gotten to know a lot about this planet, but I don’t know much about yours! There’s gotta be something about New Selene that makes you happy!”

“Nothing about that desolate wasteland sparks any joyful feelings,” Brain retorted. “Snowball and I are much better off here. Terra’s knowledge of space is much less advanced than Selene’s, but once we’re co-rulers that’s a problem easily rectified.”

“But there has to be something you did for fun.”

Brain looked away. “You’re prying. But if you’re truly interested…”

“I am!” Pinky exclaimed, nodding eagerly. “Please tell me!”

Brain’s ear twitched as he listened for signs of anyone coming. But none appeared. “I’m going to regret this...but fine. However, everything I’m about to tell you does not leave this maze. Promise me.”

“Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my-ow!” Pinky jabbed his eye a little too hard.

Brain watched him for a moment longer, so Pinky tried to make himself look like a captivated audience. Finally, he gave in with a sigh.

“Selenians have an oral storytelling tradition called Lor Altal. The loose translation to your language is ‘swapping hearts’, and given their predisposition to sordid, melodramatic affairs, I’d say it’s an accurate name,” Brain explained. “On the mother planet, it’s normally performed on the last day of the month. But explorers and scientists, including those of New Selene, often turned it into a weekly session as a way to remind them of home.”

“Didja hear any Lor Altals on New Selene?” Pinky asked. He laid on his stomach, propped his head on his elbows, and kicked his feet in the air.

“...yes.”

Why so hesitant though?

“Snowball and I...we used to sneak out of our cages for the weekly Lor Altal. When we were younger. Before they abandoned New Selene. The ones we’d listened to were...well, they could become very elaborate with song, dance, and costume. New Selene’s were more basic, but interesting.”

“Ooooooh,” Pinky said. This definitely sounded fun fun silly-willy! “You know any good stories, Brain? Can you tell me? Please please please?”

Brain scratched his head. “Well, there’s one that I...no, perhaps I shouldn’t be thinking about these things. Lor Altals don’t matter in the pursuit of world domination.”

“I don’t mind!” Pinky said. Brain was so silly, insisting that he couldn’t like stuff outside his goal. He liked cream cheese and blueberry bagels, didn’t he? “I wanna know your favoritest out of the lot!”

“You do?” Brain asked in surprise. He didn’t seem to believe Pinky.

“Of course!” Pinky grinned.

Brain’s cheeks flushed, but he accepted that they weren’t going anywhere. Besides, if Brain really liked these Lor Altal stories, then his orbs would glow and they wouldn’t have to be scared of the dark!

“...alright. This Lor Altal tale is called Heikro var Silda. It’s one of the most well-known stories, starring Selene’s historical figures,” Brain said, gaining more confidence with every word. “The characters were embellished from real life, but the background is mostly the same.”

There was a spark in Brain’s pink eyes now. It intrigued Pinky.

“Three thousand years ago, before Selene’s industrial and technological revolutions, the entire planet was embroiled in a long and bitter civil war, spearheaded by two rival households, alike in prestige and influence.”

“If they add honey, maybe it wouldn’t be so bitter?” Pinky suggested.

“Try not to interrupt, Pinky. Setting the mood is important in these stories,” Brain said, breaking out of his narrator voice. And boy did he have a lovely narrator voice!

Pinky rezipped his lip and let Brain continue.

“The eastern hemisphere was the domain of the House of Syar'i, of which the fair maiden Silda belonged. The western half was controlled by the House of Alkair, of which the handsome lad Heikro was selected to rule. Caught between the two powerful households, the Selenians were fearful of the violence that ensued whenever they clashed, for both commanded large networks of armies, assassins, and spies. Now, on one fateful day…”

Soon Brain was completely engrossed in the story, just as Pinky was enthralled to hear Brain give the performance of his life. Well, Brain wasn’t the best actor Pinky had ever seen. Sometimes he was a bit flat and sometimes he was a bit hammy, but the passion in his voice made the story absolutely thrilling.

It was the type of passion someone only had when they truly loved something.

Some breaks were necessary for Brain to rest his voice for a few minutes, others so Pinky could get a translation for the Selenian language when Brain accidentally used a different tongue after getting caught up in the story.

Brain’s voice grew softer as he laid out Heikro’s plan to sneak into a banquet thrown by the House of Syar’i to scope out their plans for an invasion of an Akair-controlled port city. And poor Silda, having to marry someone she didn’t love but doing it for the sake of her parents! That poor girl oughta be happy!

Pinky clasped his hands together at the moment Heikro laid eyes on Silda’s beauty and was instantly smitten, forgetting that he needed to report his findings to his council. And Silda was taken in by Heikro’s broad shoulders and sturdy build. It was love at first sight! How romantic!

“Then Silda bid her parents and their guests good night, and retired to her chambers. But Heikro, who longed to see more of the maiden’s ethereal charm, could not bear to stay away for long. Under the cover of darkness, he crept around her residence, where he found a restless Silda on her balcony. She couldn’t slumber peacefully, for her maidservant revealed the man she kissed was none other than an esteemed member of the House of Akair.”

Pinky pounded his fist against his knee. “She needs to elope with him, that’s what! Narf!”

“‘Nova suprhi li ihmin var altal’, he called to her.”

“Oh, there’s that altal word again. He’s saying something about hearts, I think. That’s so sweet!” Pinky exclaimed. Realizing his mistake, he covered his mouth. “Sorry, Brain! Continue!”

But instead of continuing, Brain leaned against the wall. Oh. He must’ve gotten tired.

“I’ll let it pass this time, Pinky,” Brain said as he rubbed his throat. “I might’ve overdone it anyway. Next time, I’ll pick a better stopping point.”

His voice sounded a little raspy. Though Pinky really wanted to know what happened next, keeping Brain’s voice in working order so they could make the phone call was more important.

“What did that last sentence mean?” Pinky asked.

Brain regarded Pinky for a long moment. “It’s a favorite quote among many Selenians. But it’s rather saccharine, I’m afraid.”

“I’m not,” Pinky said.

“If you must know, it means ‘new stars shall be born from our minds and hearts’.” Brain’s voice was so soft, Pinky had to strain to hear it. “As I said, it’s saccharine.”

“It sounds so poetic!” Pinky smiled. And romantic too!

Brain didn’t say anything. His orbs cast a gentle red glow over his shining pink eyes.

Egad, his orbs! They were glowing now! Even the one on his tail!

“Brain, you did it!” Pinky cheered, trying to do a cartwheel. But he landed flat on his face instead, though he popped right back up. “You found what made you happy!”

Brain touched the orbs on his antennae, awed by their appearance. Then he turned towards the dark pathway, gesturing for Pinky to follow.

They didn’t have to worry about traps or getting stuck anymore! Pinky skipped along behind Brain, who walked at a brisk pace.

A soft red glow lit up the metal walls around them as they plunged deeper into the maze. But there were no lefts, rights, or confusing turns. Just straight ahead.

“Thanks for being here with me, Brain. It’s not scary anymore,” Pinky said gratefully, taking Brain’s hand in his own.

“Keep walking, Pinky,” Brain replied, keeping his eyes forward. If anything, the light grew a little brighter. “We should be nearing the end of the maze.”

Pinky sniffed the air. He could’ve sworn he smelled cheese.

Hold the phone! He smelled cheese!

And there was an opening ahead of them!

Pinky’s stomach growled as they stepped into the light, and lo and behold, there were two lumps of cheddar right in front of them!

Even Brain was smiling as he chomped down on the cheese.

Pinky dug in. And it was the best cheese he’d ever tasted in his life!

o-o-o-o-o

It took a long time for the lab to clear out after they finished the maze. The scientists were shocked by Pinky clearing the maze for the first time. He couldn’t blame them.

He astounded himself too.

Brain’s light had dimmed long before the lab closed, annoyed by the constant poking and prodding. They wanted to know who spliced him with butterfly DNA because of his antennae, though multiple people thought he was spliced with a mosquito since he bit any curious fingers that strayed close to his face.

“Those ignorant fools will be bowing to me soon enough, Pinky,” Brain proclaimed as he dialed the number on the invitation. “Hold the card up.”

“Hurry, Brain!” Pinky urged, shooting a fearful glance at the clock. They only had thirty minutes left!

Brain punched the number into the phone, then hit the call button.

“Please work!” Pinky begged the phone as it rang. He wanted to wear fancy clothes and mingle and swim in the chocolate fountain so much!

The phone rang once, twice, then the call finally went through.

“Hello, this is Harold, butler of Lamont Manor,” a voice with a charming British accent said. “May I ask who I’m speaking with?”

Pinky bounced from toe to toe in excitement, though he tried to curb it when Brain held up a hand for him to stop. But he couldn’t help his tail twitchies.

“This is Mr. Clarke,” Brain said, using the name on the card. “My spouse and I will be coming to the ball on Sunday.”

“I see,” Harold said, his tone changing into one of disgust. That was a little odd. “Another new spouse then, Anthony?”

New spouse? Brain mouthed in confusion.

Pinky shrugged.

“Mrs. Clarke is on the invitation. She’s allowed inside too, correct?” Brain asked.

“Assuming she’s still your wife by Sunday, yes,” Harold said. “I’ll put your names on the guest list. Try to do something about that awful rasp of yours, will you? Good night.”

The call ended.

“The real Mr. Clarke sounds like a delightful fellow,” Brain muttered.

“I’m sure it won’t be so bad, Brain!” Pinky grinned. Now all they had to do was find fancy stuff for the ball! “You’re gonna be wearing a mask anyway!”

“I suppose,” Brain sighed.

“No supposing!” Pinky shook his finger at him. “Besides, you haven’t finished your Lor Altal story yet! You know, it’s funny how it reminds me of Romeo and Juliet. With the feuding families and star-crossed lovers and all! Except much happier, cause Reikro and Silda will help bring about peace to the planet of Selene and live happily ever after!”

Brain didn’t make eye contact with Pinky for the next few hours.

My original plan was to have them mistaken for feeder mice after they finished the maze, and they would’ve been plopped into a snake enclosure with a snake named Gladys. Pinky would’ve been caught in the coils (Gladys is nonvenomous and would kill by constricting rather than venom), and Brain would rescue him.

Ultimately, I decided to cut this idea out and have them run a maze instead, which is tedious but not life-threatening. Since the maze is light on danger, I decided to focus more on Pinky and Brain interactions here, and include the Lor Altal oral storytelling tradition, which has been mentioned in previous chapters as an aside. Plus, I believe this story would benefit from Pinky learning more about where Brain came from, since previous chapters have placed the focus on Brain learning about Earth.

The storytelling is an aspect of Selenian culture Brain likes but never got to fully enjoy. Since Brain seems to have a hidden interest in acting and theatre, given the number of his schemes that involve cinema, broadcasting, and in one case, Broadway, I decided to incorporate that bit of his character here.

Brain’s story is just an abridged Romeo and Juliet IN SPACE!

#pinky and the brain #patb nova #patb fanfiction

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vintagedolan · 4 years

Note

this is probably too much but i wanna see an imagine where gray describes how happy he is y/n is with him and how he experience firsts with her. like we know he's been relationships but maybe this is the first time he has experienced a domesticated life w/ her & how it amazes him she looked past all of the shits they accused him of :D

(a little guide: grayson ethan ryan for the pod convo :) )

So, we’ve added another member to the committed relationship club recently

Yeah, yeah we have

Well I guess not recently per say, you all have been together for a while now

What is it now, 7 months? Or 8, I guess

Yeah almost 8 now, but I put that post up last week, so we’ve only been public since.. Monday I guess?

So how’re you feeling about it? Most of what I’ve seen is pretty positive so far

I mean, I kinda knew what to expect a little bit because I watched Ethan go through it first with everything, when he shared about his relationship. And we were dating at that point, me and my girlfriend, but not as long as he and his girl had been together at that point so... I guess I just sat back and watched to see how all of that went down

So you used me as your fuckin guinea pig is what you’re saying

Yeah, yeah I guess I did haha. But it was on accident, we weren’t ready at that point to say anything, or at least I wasn’t. She’s always been really chill about everything - she’s never been fazed by what people have said online, cause you know

People speculate, people have been guessing that you all were dating ever since that pap got you all on Melrose. One picture gets out and all of sudden everyone thinks they know every detail of your life

Right, and it’s a weird line to tow. Cause part of me wanted to keep everything so private, so, like, safe I guess, because I hate the idea of anyone I love getting hate. Like when Ethan gets shit online, obviously it pisses me off, but when she gets hate it’s different, because she’s getting that negativity because she’s associated with me. Like she wouldn’t have to deal with that shit if she wasn’t in a relationship with me, yah know?

Right, but I mean, I’ve known your girlfriend for a while now, and I would like to see somebody try some shit with her. I would be scared for my life

Try living with her, and with my girlfriend too. When they team up on us they go in dude. They both have such confidence in themselves, I’ve yet to see anything get to them, which is really nice actually, cause we don’t have to worry about them too muc-

Hang on, I didn’t finish my thought though

Okay but what I said was related

No it wasn’t

How was it not related to what you’re gonna say, I’m literally talking about our girlfriends

Just let me fuckin’ talk

Alright fine, go

Like I was saying with the line, you know in my past relationships I kept everything really close to the chest. I didn’t say anything, I didn’t post anything, i was super paranoid all the time about anyone finding out. And thats a fucked up way to live, so that was part of the reason why I was ready to come out and say something about stuff this time

Right, because that definitely puts a lot of stress on a relationship too

Exactly. And the other part of it for me is that this is the first like, real... adult? Is that the right word?

Adult works

Yeah adult makes sense

Okay, yeah, then like adult relationship I’ve really been in in my life. I mean I’m twenty, and I’m getting to experience a lot of firsts that I’ve always really craved.

Ooooo, firsts

Bro shut the fuck up you know that’s not what I’m talking about

He was buying jimmies at CVS at 15, c’mon now, give him some credit

Yeah yeah, I just like to fuck with him

What do you mean by firsts though, I’m curious

Like, this is the first time I’ve actually lived with my significant other, and that definitely adds a whole other dynamic to a relationship

Oh for sure

You know, like I’m in here recording this right now, and I don’t have to worry about if we’re gonna get done late or if I’m gonna have time to like, go drive to my girlfriend’s house, because I know she’s in the house and she’s gonna be here when I’m done. There’s just something really comforting about that stuff

The domestic shit

Yeah, domestic shit. Like cooking together, and doing laundry. Small shit like that, I never realized how much like, intimacy that builds.

Intimacy? Jesus, how many relationship podcasts have you been listening to

Shut up, you listen to em too, we literally listened to one in the car the other day. But seriously, living with someone is really different, and just... really fucking nice. And since were always together, or like we know what each other are doing, theres no room for shit to get twisted by social media, or tabloids

It’s not like she ever believed any of that shit anyways, thats one of the reasons you were into her in the first place

Yeah, shes always been good like that, one of the many reasons I love that girl

God, she’s gonna roast your ass when she listens to this later, you’re such a simp

Don’t use that word, I fuckin hate that word

Which one, roast or simp?

#anon #ask #why was this so easy to write haha #the pod talk comes v natural to me haha #g:blurb #blurb

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thegreenfaery · 3 years

Text

The Quarterly Review

I’ve been absent for a while so I’m going to treat you all to an utter shitpost of my year so far. You may want to sit down for this because it’s a thrilling ride (this is a lie, but there are pictures of questionable quality, so you have that going for you).

January 2021

Of all the things that have ever happened, January was one of them. As in it came, it happened, it went. It was a dull and dismal blur of a month that at the time seemed to never end.

I did, however, get promoted from “Kitchen Manager” to “Communications Officer” for our local WI.

In celebration of this, I finally taught myself to knit. (Look, I’m an old person trapped in what often feels like an even older body. Sue me. Actually, please don’t. I can’t afford it.)

Anyhoo, here’s the result.

This hat may be my single greatest achievement ever. Possibly second to the time my Abyssinian guinea pig, Bubbles, won a “Special” rosette at the Cavy Club show. I think I won a grand prize of 72p.

[Before anyone asks, yes people breed and show guinea pigs. Shit’s more competitive than Crufts. If you want to see posh knobs being cliquey, two-faced and passive aggressive that’s the place to go. Mum’s favourite moment (after a run of winning Best of Breeds, much to the chagrin of said posh knobs) was informing everyone that her Best in Show boar was purchased from a lowly pet shop. ]

February 2021

For those of us in the UK, the end of December 2020 brought with it the entertainment that are Parish Council meetings. The drama from one particular Parish Council and come February, it had gone viral. >>See here<<

As much of the country was completely bewildered by what they were witnessing, for me, this was the stuff of nightmares.

I had been elected as Chairwoman of my local Parish Council in November 2019 after its own long-running pissing contest (which I am fairly certain has been going on since before I was even born) came to a head. It was pretty obvious that I was elected because certain individuals assumed that I would be a total pushover. Unfortunately for them, I actually took the time to read through and fully digest all of the policies and procedures and came to the same conclusion as multiple clerks- that those individuals were in the wrong. And so I put my foot down with a firm hand. Cue threats of legal action and months of harassment before I ultimately decided ‘Stuff this for a game of soldiers. I don’t get paid for this.’ and tendered my own resignation. (The straw that broke the camel’s back was the recurrence of psychogenic blackouts and hemiplegic migraines caused by the stress. They are not fun, and I can think of much better ways to spend my time.)

Are all Parish Council meetings like Handforth’s? No. But I certainly witnessed the same level of hostility and venom at my local meetings, it was just displayed in a much more covert and conniving fashion. This is what happens when people of a certain age with far too much time on their hands and an unbelievable sense of self-importance are given a whiff of what they think is power.

March 2021

With all of this in mind, when my queen and hero, @recurring-polynya, posted this gem in March, I nearly died.

Also in March: the bathroom and en suite were officially finished!; I got my anaesthetic infusion (for fibromyalgia); and our WI delivered one of these little gift bags to each member:

April 2021

Which brings us neatly to April and Easter.

I got to see my Mum for the first time in forever, and we both sat there wearing rabbit ears for over three hours, triggering an existential crisis in Sherbet the cat. Are there photos? No. This is standard behaviour.

Remember Jack?

Well, if you think you’ve had a bad year so far, imagine being a dog and being told on the very first day of January that you are allergic to: chicken, beef, turkey, potatoes, rice... This is by no means the complete list. He can, however, eat venison. Which, according to Mum, is very expensive. I guess you could say it’s very deer.

Ay? Ayyy? Ahahaha! Geddit? Deer. Ahhh... I’ll see myself out.

Anyway, Mum and I went on a walk with the gruesome twosome (Jack and his brother, Teddy), and this muppet tried to pull me into the very muddy, very smelly, very wet dyke.

Thankfully, I didn’t quite make it all the way there, and so was only mostly covered in mud, not completely covered in mud.

Turns out that Jack really likes watching telly. He especially enjoyed whichever iteration of Jurassic Park was on at the time. Big, noisy dinosaurs are very much his thing.

Being a sensitive soul, Teddy is somewhat less interested what’s on the screen, and would much rather ponder the deep and meaningful questions in life, such as ‘Who is a good boy, then?’.

April was a month full of sharp, pointy needles for me. Which is to say I am now vaccinated against ‘The Covid’, have been stuffed full of botulinum type A (39 injections in my head, neck and shoulders in one go), and been visited by Nurse Dracula for blood tests. Is this why the earlier photo of me in The Hat shows me to be the same colour as the wall? Quite possibly.

I’m also excited for the possibility of starting immunotherapy (Fremanezumab) towards the end of June. This is the treatment that will complete my transformation into a hamster. (Or will hopefully relieve the constant pain that is chronic migraine. One of the two.)

Of course, April means that we’re well into spring, which means what better time to start making Christmas cards? I mean, that’s normal, right?

Spring also means getting the garden summer ready. The roses are looking healthy. The triffid cosmos’ are coming back. The self-seeding linaria are taking over. The wildflower lawn is full of cowslips and violets. Our baby fruit trees are covered in blossom. (One of which was subject to a minor mishap last spring when the wind upended an entire packet of loose Scabiosa Atropurpurea ‘Black Knight’ seeds next to it. And there are most certainly a lot of something growing quite merrily in a perfect square around it, only I am fairly certain that the things that are growing are Papaver Paeonies. This is doing me a heckin’ bamboozle. Either way, I am steadily thinning them out and moving them to a more suitable spot. Preferably not 0.0002mm away from my Worcester Pearmain apple.)

We have fat birbs. We’re talking full on chonkers. The blackbirds have munched their way through £25 of mealworms in less than a fortnight. Plus half a tub of fat balls. The sparrows are the same shape, as are the robins. As for Gilbert the woodpigeon...

The solitary bees have hatched from their tin can bee hotels. So far, we have determined that we have ash and tawny mining bees as well as masonry bees. We have also spotted a parasitic (possibly cuckoo) bee, which seem to target mining bees for their cosy homes. There are bumble bees and honey bees. There are so, so many bees. **Insert customary Oprah gif here**

I have ordered ALL OF THE PLUG PLANTS for hanging baskets. Which ones? ALL OF THEM. I am going into direct competition with Mr Britain-in-Bloom-Winner Begonia-Baskets down the road.

Pfft. Who are we kidding?

He doesn’t stand a chance.

#The baskets will not contain begonias #I absolutely refuse #BEES!!!

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

Text

Survey #445

“you’ve got a lot of nerve, but not a lot of spine”

Have you ever created a fake internet persona for yourself? No. Do you enjoy going to weddings or showers? What is it that you like or dislike about them? Not... really. They're triggering for me. And I don't use "trigger" lightly. They legitimately, deeply affect me. It's part of the reason I've lost a lot of interest in being a wedding photographer. Is there a person in your life whom you support by showing up for the sports games, concerts, or other performances? This question, uh... sucks. Because I'm that awful aunt that doesn't go to her nephew's t-ball games while everyone else does. It's the heat that does it, but still... it shouldn't. How many video games do you have? A lot. We have a big case of them. Why did you take the last pill you took? My heartburn is especially awful today. Has a girl ever stayed up with you all night? A guy? A girl, uhhh... maybe? Idk. A guy, yeah. Do you think guys look good with makeup? Hell yeah. How long would you wait to become sexually active with someone you’re dating? That would just depend on how quickly we deeply bond in a relationship. I wouldn't go that far before I knew I was in love with them, though, so it definitely wouldn't be quick. Do you enjoy a good debate or prefer keeping the peace? klasd;jkla;jfklwdj I HATE confrontation, so I strongly prefer to keep that peace. Debates rarely ever stay civil, anyway. Can you ever see yourself and your ex back together? One, easily. The other... I wish. But it won't ever happen because I fucked that relationship up way too much. Are you thinking about anything that’s upsetting right now? Yeah. My PTSD is being really bothersome. Would you ever want to ride in a canoe? Yeah, sounds fun and peaceful. So long as I'm not rowing, ha ha. When did you last see an attractive member of your preferred sex? Did you speak to them? Do you think you’ll see them again? Two days ago. Yeah, 'cuz he was my personal trainer. I don't plan on quitting the gym, so I'll probably see him around there now and again. Have you ever tasted baby food? How about pet food? Save for when I was a baby, obviously, no. I once tried a guinea pig yogurt treat, ha ha. How many times have you had your heart broken? Once romantically, twice overall. Actually, no, four. Quite a jump, I know, but Teddy and Jason's mom both dying was nothing short of heartbreaking. Think of the person you fell hardest for. How many people has he/she been in love with, besides you? One, before me. I don't know about since. Find 5 people on your Facebook friends list, whose names begin with K. Who are these people, and how did you meet them? Katherine: an online friend. We met on YouTube. Kim: she's my stepmom. I met her through my dad, obviously. Kelly: a high school friend. We met in art class. Katelynn: was Jason's old friend's former girlfriend. We met through said friend when we all hung out together. Kieley: she's the wife of who I call my "big bro," a close gaming friend. We met through Sam, the aforementioned friend. Sometimes do you wish you lived in a fantasy world? Yeah, who doesn't? What would you say if the ex who hurt you the most told you they hated you? "I don't blame you" or something to that effect. Have any of your friends dated an ex/previous crush of yours? I don't think it's accurate to call her my "friend," but Jason's first girlfriend and I are friends on Facebook. I'd love to get to know her better and actually be *real* friends. One word to describe the last person you kissed? Strong. Has anyone ever cheated on their boyfriend/girlfriend with you? You could say that. Does your hair have layers? No, not anymore. Who was the last person you cried in front of? My mom. Have you done something recently that helped someone else, in any way? I don't know. Which Disney princess do you think is the most beautiful? Why? Probably Jasmine. I just think she's really pretty. If you’ve had a bad experience in a past relationship, did you find that you were scared to get into another relationship, in case the same thing happened again? I'm terrified to this day to start new romantic relationships. I had so many panic attacks about losing Sara when we first started dating. If you were going to buy a present for the person you love/like, what would you generally choose? Absolutely something Frieza-related. If you met the celebrity that you most admire, what would be the first thing you’d say to him/her? Probably just "oh my god, thank you" and start crying lmao. Is there something you generally always ask for help with? I'm sure there's something, yeah. When was the last time you cried? Today. Do you like sausage? Yep. Ever held a newborn animal? Kittens, yes. Do you know anyone with a dual citizenship? Uhhhh maybe? Have you been called a bad influence? Yeah. Like she had ANY room to talk. Do you get stage fright? Yes. Would you be excited or annoyed if your favorite book was being made into a movie? Both of my favorite books are also movies, and they're wonderful. Do you need structure in your life or do you prefer to just go with the flow? I require structure, for sure. Without it, my anxiety goes rampant. Change is something I do not cope with well. Post a picture of you from one year ago. No. Have you ever written a fan letter? If so, who was it to and did you receive a response? No. What trait(s) would you not want your children to inherit from you? My mental illnesses, primarily depression. I have A LOT of reasons for not wanting kids, and my poor genetic makeup is even one of them. I don't want to pass on all the shit I deal with. What is the worst place you’ve woken up? Waking up in a shitty bed at the ER while waiting to be transferred was never one of my favorite things... Are you the type of person who has to study to make good grades or does it just come naturally to you? Aha... I was lucky in that once I heard something in school, it had a tendency to stick. I didn't need to study very much at all - usually. When on YouTube, what types of videos do you mainly watch? Mostly let's plays. What was the last conversation you had with someone about? Sara and I were kinda fangirling over how cute Maieykio and Rumours are, ha ha. Do you have any currency that’s not your native country’s? No. Can you describe your father in one word? Complex. Do you still watch movies intended for children? Yeah. Hell, I probably tend to prefer them. Who is your favorite stand-up comedian? That's living, probably Gabriel Iglesias. What is your strangest phobia? Probably whale sharks. Which part of your state/province do you live in [upper,lower,middle]? I live on the eastern side. Who in your life can you count on the most? My mama. Would you rather eat your pizza cold or hot? It depends on what I'm up for. Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? No, I'm not a fan. Last thing you drank? Pink lemonade. Have you ever thought you were going to marry someone? Sure did. The belief was clearly mutual. But I ruined that. Who are your favorite people to talk to when you’re down? Sara or my mom. Have you ever thought you liked someone, and then found out that you really didn’t? See: Girt. Describe the last dream you had that you can remember. It was actually... really fucked up, so the squeamish beware. I don't remember the details, just the shocking part: a little bird flew into me, and I thought it was a bug, so I crushed it in my hand. Heard and felt the bones break and it was just... ugh. It's nauseating to recall. I'm sick and tired of dreaming of only awful things. Any current family issues? Not any big ones that include everyone. The only "issue" that really exists in my family is how my mom feels like Ashley (my older sister) avoids her, and therefore Mom doesn't see the kids nearly as much as she wants. She feels very overlooked. Whose room of the opposite sex were you in last? When? Uhhh, probably my nephew's? Sometime when I visited my sister's house, idk. The last movie you watched with a friend? Elf, I think. Have you ever played with fire? Uh no, because I'm not keen on being burned. What industry do you want to be a part of when you’re older? Art, in some form. Who do you usually text the most? Since Sara and I started chatting mainly on Discord, definitely my mom. Have you ever been surprised with breakfast in bed? No. Llamas or sheep? Sheep. Have you ever seen anyone famous in the street? No. When do you plan on moving out? Whenever I'm in a long-term, stable, happy, and healthy relationship. I really don't at all think it would be healthy for me to live on my own. What’re you going to be for Halloween? I'd actually love to dress up this year seeing as I've really been feeling the holidays, but the money to like... make a recognizable costume isn't really with us. So I'll ust answer as if I had it, in which case it would be a handmaid from The Handmaid's Tale, but with fake blood splattered over my stomach region. Will you buy a cake for your next birthday? We always do for b-days. Do you like brownies? BITCH I love brownies. Have you ever dressed up as a witch on Halloween? Yeah, as a kiddo. Have you ever been to a masquerade? No. Do any girls like the last guy you kissed? Maybe, I don't know. Do you have a second mom? I have a stepmom, if that's what you mean. When a bee is coming close to you, do you stand still or run away? Ngl, I gtfo. Do you ever hang out with someone of the opposite sex? I haven't hung out with Girt in around a year. Really need to change that. When you go out to eat, what sides do your order with your food? Fries. What is your winter coat like? ... I actually don't know if I have one? Did you do well at fitness testing in grade school? I did fine. Are art museums interesting or boring to you? Interesting. Inspiring, even. Do you know how to use an ATM? ... No. :x How about write a check? uhhhhhhhhhhh... Are you Italian? Not to my knowledge, no. We don't know my dad's heritage. When was the last time you talked to one of your siblings? I commented on one of my sister's Facebook posts earlier. Are you interested in photography at all? Very much so. Do you own an acoustic guitar? I don't believe so? Ashley had one when she was waaaay younger, but I haven't seen it in forever. I think Dad might have it. Can you talk to your parents about anything without them judging or bickering at you? Because you said "bickering," no. Mom knows how to pick fights on a lot of things... Who was the last person you took pictures with? My sister when she came to visit a few months ago. What is the wallpaper on your best friend's cell phone? I'd be willing to bet it's either her and Jem or Frieza. Do you melt butter to put on your popcorn? No. We get the movie theater butter kind. Do you consider flirting cheating? Sure do. Have you ever been on probation? No. What is normally on your Christmas list (if you celebrate it)? A tattoo and meerkat stuff. Do you like KoRn? They're one of my favorites! When you were little, did you pick up worms? Do you pick worms up now? Ha, I did. I would sometimes dig just to look for them, especially if I knew Dad was going to take me fishing later that day. I don't like touching worms nowadays. Would you ever go see a stand-up comedian? Yeah, I think it would be fun. Do you have any best friends that you only know online? BEST friends, not current ones, anyway. I've met my current best friend. Have you ever gotten into a physical fight? Nope. Do you have a problem with swearing? No. What do you do when you see a spider? My reactions vary. If it's a tiny little thing, I tend to ignore it. In most cases, admittedly, I get my mom to come kill it. :x I really, really want to get on a level where I can just cup the spider and take it outside. I want a few types of spiders one day (tarantulas, jumping, and velvet), after all, so I really should get used to interacting with them. I know in my gut they're nowhere near as dangerous and scary as your head makes them seem, but it's so instilled in you (most "you"s, anyway) from a young age to stay away from spiders, so it's fighting almost like instinct. Do you have big dreams? Meh... When is your father’s birthday? Sometime in April. The 16th, I think? Maybe. Are you interested in anime? Yeah. They can have some great stories. Do you eat three meals a day? Most days. Are you part German? German and Irish make up most of my heritage, yes. Do you dream of being a porn star? Uh, I can confidently say no. Have you ever been on a farm? I have. What is your favorite type of muffin? Blueberry, I think. I like the moisture it adds to the muffin. What is the last type of salad that you ate? Just your normal one with iceberg lettuce and ranch. What do you usually put on your waffles? A layer of peanut butter and then some syrup. You NEED to try it. Would you rather have a cottage on the beach or in a forest? A forest! Name all the people that you talked to today. Online, through texts and in person. Mom and Misty are all, I think. Do you know a schizophrenic person? My half-sister. Did you ever watch Sailor Moon? If so, who is your favorite? I did. I don't think I had a favorite character. Name the last 3 people you kissed and list one nice thing about each one. Sara: she's very loyal. Girt: he's funny as hell. Tyler: he, uh, cares a lot, I guess? When was the last time you felt EXTREMELY depressed? Why is that? Yesterday, actually. I was passively suicidal just over... a lot of things. Would you ever dye your hair pink? I want pastel pink hair anyway.

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''true friends'' by bring me the horizon

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godidfk · 4 years

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I Don’t Need A Hero (Part Two)

Summary: You don’t like heroes. They were a sham. But when your quirk disappears you are shocked to find you need them more than you thought. One in particular more than others.

Pairing: Eijirou Kirishima x Reader

Warnings: Angst but like? Not really?

Word Count: ~ 3.3K

A/N: okay listen im sorry this took seven years to come out lol. Life is life. I know there’s some confusion on what the readers quirk is but like I promise there will be a more in depth explanation soon. My asks are always open if you have questions!! I hope y’all like this.

I’m gonna tag everyone who asked for part two on the last post! Just in case y’all forgot <3 (if that’s not okay lemme know I’ll untag you)

@lady-bakuhoe @shania-chua @raekah @onegaisobaniite @red-riot-girl642

Part One

“So what happened with Chargebolt?” Once you were both back to your car, you finally felt comfortable enough to ask Molly about what had happened at the meet and greet.

“Oh y/n! Oh, it was absolutely amazing! I kept peeking around the girl in front of me when I got up close, and he totally caught me looking. I was so embarrassed, he just kind of stared at me and I felt like I was on fire. He smiled at me and then he winked and I felt like I would pass out on the spot.” Glancing over, you saw Molly was absolutely glowing. Her hands were flying everywhere to emphasize how excited she was. You chuckled looking at her. “That’s not even the best part though y/n! When I finally got my turn to go up to him, he asked my name and told me I was really cute and asked if I’d stay after so I could talk to him more!” Your jaw dropped as Molly went on. You knew your best friend was drop-dead gorgeous, and the best person in the world. But who would’ve ever guessed her all-time favorite pro would be immediately taken with her?

“Molly! That’s amazing! But... it didn’t take you long to come out and find me after..” realizing what your friend must’ve done you felt a wave of shame and guilt wash over you. “Molly please tell me you waited for him. Please don’t say you left to come find me instead.” The guilty look she threw you made your stomach sink.

“It’s not like that y/n. I did wait. I figured since I sent Red Riot after you that you’d be alright waiting a little longer. I knew you’d kill me if I didn’t wait for him. So I did! But I definitely left quicker than he would’ve liked… BUT guess what!” Before you could get a word out she interrupted you. “Kaminari and I are getting together tomorrow after his patrol! As long as you’re alright that is.” She looked over at you and you could briefly see that worry back there.

“Kaminari huh? Looks like you two got close real fast. I told you he’d love you! And Molly… I’ll be okay. It’s just going to take some time right?” That’s what you were hoping. That your quirk would be back in the morning. Or that you’d figure out what had happened.

“Y/n, you never told me exactly what happened back there. Why can’t you hear anything anymore?”

“It was weird Mol. You know how I hate being deep in the city like that. Around so many people. Their thoughts were so loud. It was starting to become too much. I pushed through though. For a bit. I was determined to be with you when you met him. Although it turns out you didn’t really need my help did you?” Throwing a quick glance over your shoulder you saw her blush. “Anyway, when we got into that line and Chargebolt came out it got so loud. I was about to excuse myself for a moment when… I don’t know. Everything was too much and then I saw him looking at me and all of a sudden… nothing. I totally freaked Mol. The silence was so loud. I felt like I was drowning in it. So I went outside. And then that stupid hero tried to come to my rescue. Who does he think he is anyway? He doesn’t know me. What could he possibly do to help?”

“Wait back up, are you telling me when you looked at Red Riot it all went silent?” Molly was staring at you with her eyebrow quirked.

“Yes. That is exactly what I’m telling you. What’s your point?”

“Well, that seems… sort of like something you would read in a romance novel doesn’t it? Young pretty girl looks at hot young man and all the voices in her head go silent? Sounds kind of dreamy to me.” Glancing over at her, you noticed she was wiggling her eyebrows at you.

“Molly this is serious! My quirk is straight-up gone and all you can think about is some dumb fantasy? Even if it was some weird ‘hey this guy is your soulmate’ kind of thing you know me better than that. Never a hero. Never. But that’s beside the point! Molly, it’s gone and I can’t hear what anybody is thinking now. As nice as it is to get some peace for once in my life my spatial awareness is so fucked up. Normally I can tell when people are close to me without seeing them. Some asshole back there slammed into me and knocked me down and I didn’t even know he was there until I was on the ground. I have no idea what’s wrong with me and I’m scared, Molly.” She had gone silent beside you. The drive back to your house felt like it was taking years instead of an hour.

“I’m sorry y/n. You’re right. I should be taking this seriously. We’ll figure this out. Do you want to go see a doctor? Maybe they’ll be able to find something wrong?”

“Molly if I went to a doctor I’d be a guinea pig. Have you ever heard of someone’s quirk disappearing? Because I haven’t. I’ll figure this out. I’ll be okay. I couldn’t control my quirk very well anyway, right? Who needs it.” But the truth was you were terrified. You felt wrong. Empty. The quiet was so loud.

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It had been a week since then. As much as you were hoping your quirk would be there when you woke up. It wasn’t. Everything was still quiet. If you were being honest though, after the first few days of being absolutely terrified and feeling helpless and empty, you were starting to enjoy the quiet. It was nice to hear the birds all of the time instead of only when you were 100% alone. Getting used to having to pay attention to your surroundings had been a challenge. And your job performance was taking a severe hit. Having to wait for people to actually tell you their order before you could start making it made things take a bit longer than you’d like. You were about to start getting ready for work when your phone rang. Walking over to pick it up from the counter you saw Molly’s contact picture and answered.

“Y/n! Are you busy right now?”

“Actually yeah. I was just about to get ready for my shift at the cafe, why?”

“Oh dangit. Kaminari is coming over today and I was hoping you would come meet him.” Molly had been talking to the pro hero every day since meeting him. She practically saw him every day too. You knew it was only a matter of time before she wanted to introduce you two. You were thankful to have work as an excuse to put it off. As much as you loved her, you weren’t ready to try and befriend a pro hero.

“I’m sorry Mol. We’ll meet eventually I’m sure. I have to go get ready now but have fun! Don’t get zapped.” You heard her start laughing as you hung up.

----------------------------------------------------

A few hours into your shift things started to slow down. You relished the time when the cafe was empty. It gave you a chance to catch up but also admire the view outside. The little cafe you worked at was on the outskirts of the city. Right across from a nature park that was empty more often than not. You loved to look out at the trees and flowers when you got the chance. It’s where you spent your lunch breaks too. Which you decided to do right now. Telling your coworker to man the front, you grabbed your lunch and crossed the street. Laying under your favorite tree you decided to try and figure out what had made your quirk disappear. This had become a daily thing. Taking about 30 minutes to try and piece it together and then pretending it didn’t exist the rest of the time. It had become the best way for you to manage it. Unfortunately, you weren’t any closer to an answer as you were when it happened. You were running out of theories.

Thirty minutes passed by and you slammed shut your notebook and headed back to the cafe frustrated. You didn’t particularly notice the customers who were in the shop as you went into the back and put your things away.

“Hey! I’m back from lunch if you want to go take your break!” Your coworker was smiling at you just a little too widely for your liking and you cursed your quirk for disappearing. “Why are you looking at me like that? Is there something on my face?”

“No there’s nothing on your face. You didn’t tell me you knew Red Riot!” You felt heat rush to your cheeks. How did your coworker even know you had met Red Riot?

“What are you even talking about? I met him last week and promptly told him to leave me alone. I don’t really consider that knowing someone. How did you even know about that?”

“Well if that’s the case, it looks like someone doesn’t know how to listen. I’m gonna go on my break but I expect all the details when I get back!” She wiggled her eyebrows at you as she pushed past you into the back room. Why did what she said make your stomach do a flip? Peeking around the corner into the shop you caught a glimpse of someone sitting right at the counter. He was drinking coffee and looking at his phone, occasionally looking around. His red hair was spiked up the same way it had been when you had met. But he wasn’t wearing his hero costume. Just a normal t-shirt. He looked surprisingly more human this way. Why the hell was her here though? No pros came to this shop. Favoring the fancier shops in the city. You weren’t complaining about that though. You preferred the quiet nature of this place. Taking a deep breath you walked out to the counter. He looked up as you walked out and his face lit up. His smile was bright. It reminded you of the sun. Shaking your head you tried to rid your mind of any thoughts about him other than what he was doing here.

“So what, pro heroes are stalkers now?” You cringed internally at how rash that had sounded. He may be a hero but he didn’t deserve immediate cruelty. His smile dropped off his face for a moment before turning into a smaller smirk.

“Denki told me the coffee here was really good, and that you made it the best. So here I am.” His smile grew a little wider as he spoke. You noticed his teeth were pointed and looked razor-sharp. Like a shark.

“Well, that’s amusing considering I’ve never met him and he most certainly hasn’t been here while I was working.” He furrowed his eyebrows at that. Before he could think too much on it you had a realization and interrupted him.

“How did he tell you? Was it in person?” He looked up at you, clearly confused.

“No, he texted me an hour ago, why?”

“Molly… that asshole. She’s been with him all day. I’d be willing to bet it was her not him. She isn’t particularly happy with me for the way I treated you last week.” You looked at him apologetically.

“Well, that’s okay. You were obviously going through something. Even if it wasn’t Denki, the coffee here is definitely worth it. Why isn’t this place more popular?” You chuckled at that.

“You think that coffee is good? Molly wasn’t lying. We do it pretty well here, but I make it best. What’s your order, I’ll make you another.” He smiled at you and told you his order. You quickly went about making it. Catching him smiling as he watched you from the other side of the counter. You were going to kill Molly later. But for the moment you completely forgot he was a hero. Just enjoying that bright smile. You placed his coffee in front of him and watched as he tipped it back. He closed his eyes for a moment before he spoke.

“That is on a whole different level than the one the other girl gave me. How did you do that?” He was staring at you with wide eyes. You laughed at the face he was making.

“I guess I’m just that good. I’ve been doing this for a while, you tend to pick up on little things after time.” You smiled as he took another, longer drink. He looked happy. He looked up at you and caught you smiling.

“That looks good on you you know. You have a really nice smile. I’m glad I finally got to see it.” Heat rushed to your cheeks as he looked to you. Thankfully at that moment a customer came in and walked up to the counter. You cleared your throat and internally begged your face to cool down.

“Hi! What can I get for you?” You recognized the customer, but you didn’t remember his name.

“You have to ask? Thought you had everyone’s orders memorized by now. You usually start on it right as I walk in. Are you alright?” You felt guilty for having to lie to him. He wasn’t the first customer to ask though. So you automatically launched into the story you had made up to tell them all.

“I’m sorry! I was in an accident last week and I’ve been having some memory issues ever since. I’m sure I’ll get back into it quickly! Just have to relearn everyone’s order.” You saw Red Riot look up at you and furrow his brow when you said that. You silently prayed he wouldn’t ask you about it.

“I’m sorry! I’m sure you’ll get back into it in a jiffy. You’re everyone’s favorite barista for a reason!” Your heart warmed a little at the praise. You gave a small smile to the customer.

“So what can I get for you? And this is super embarrassing after all of that praise, but I’m afraid the memory loss may have also caused me to forget your name.” The customer quirked an eyebrow at that. You had never really had to remember anything about your customers. Whenever they came in they were always thinking about their orders, so you heard them fresh every day. You had always heard their names before they said them too. Why would you take the time to remember it when the information was always immediately available to you? You missed this aspect of your quirk. Not being able to hear what everyone was thinking all of the time had its downfalls.

“The name is Everett. I’ll have a double espresso please.” You immediately started making his drink as quickly as possible, hoping to make up for your lack of quirk. Behind you, you heard a very audible gasp.

“Are you Red Riot? The pro hero?” Hearing the redhead chuckle you felt your heart drop. You had let yourself forget for a moment that he was a hero. All of the nice things he had said to you began to feel like a dagger in your chest. You would never allow yourself to befriend a hero. Finishing Everetts drink you turned and went to hand it to him and saw he was now deep in conversation with the pro. You weren’t listening to the conversation. You didn’t care to hear about the nonsense heroes and their fans talk about.

“Here you go Everett. Hope it makes up for all of my issues.” You smiled at him and went to turn around to clean the counter when you heard him say your name.

“Doesn’t y/n make the best coffee? I’m not surprised that a pro finally made their way to this place. It’s amazing it has stayed as quiet as it has this long.” Red Riot smiled and looked up at you.

“The coffee is absolutely amazing. It’s like a dream. I have a feeling I’ll be here pretty often.” Your heart sank even further and you frowned. Turning to clean up your station, determined not to turn back around unless you absolutely had to. You heard the bell at the door and glanced over to see Everett leaving.

“What happened to you last week?” You closed your eyes and sighed.

“That’s none of your business Red Riot.” You said it harshly. More harshly than you meant to. But you were hurt. Why would the world bless a hero with a smile as bright as that?

“Please call me Kirishima. Everyone else calls me by my hero name. It’d be nice if you didn’t. And look I know last week is obviously a sensitive subject, but if it was bad enough that you’re having memory issues you should’ve let me help you. What if I could’ve prevented it?” Your entire body immediately felt like it had been lit on fire as the anger flooded your veins. You turned and gave him a look that could kill. A look filled with cold, seething rage.

“I do not need some hero to help me. My life is none of your business. Leave.” He looked taken aback by your words.

“Why do you say it like that? Like it’s a bad thing? It’s okay to need help y/n. Everyone does.” You hated the way that your heart melted when he said your name. But much bigger than that you hated that he was a hero. You hated every word he said. You felt your body getting hotter when you heard the bell ring and heard Molly’s laughter coming in. She looked at you and it immediately halted. She ran behind the counter and looked from you to Red Riot. She pushed her way in front of you and grabbed your face.

“Y/n. Y/n go home. Now. I’ve got the counter. Go.” Looking at her, she seemed to be the only real thing for a moment. Her words sank into your mind and you turned and left the shop without a word.

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Molly sighed as she watched you walk out. Thanking God she had convinced Denki to come to the shop. He was standing by the door still looking incredibly confused. Kirishima was staring out the door too.

“I should have known better than to tell you to come here Kirishima. I’m sorry.” Molly put her head in her hands. Denki walked up to the counter quickly.

“You alright babe? What the hell just happened? She looked ready to kill someone. What did you say to piss her off Kiri?” Denki was looking from Molly to Kirishima.

“I didn’t really say anything. She told a customer she was in an accident last week and that she was having memory problems. When he left I asked why she wouldn’t let me help her last week. And she just. She got so mad.” Kirishima looked back at the door. Molly sighed again.

“Listen. It’s not my story to tell. Short and simple of it, y/n doesn’t like heroes. She hates the whole premise of you guys. Something major happened at the event. Don’t ask me about it. It’s really not up to me to tell you. I’ve only seen her with that look one time before though… I’m just glad I got here when I did.” Molly had flashbacks to that night. Seeing your face then, seeing it now. It was too close. Way too close. Denki cleared his throat.

“Do you even know how to make coffee?” Molly looked up at him confused. Realization set in and she laughed.

“Denki I started here at the same time y/n did. We bought this place together. Even if it is just hers now. I’ve got the counter handled.” Both men looked up at you.

“Wait you guys own this shop?” Kirishima looked around the place again as she continued to laugh.

“It was always y/n’s dream to own her own cafe. Let’s just say dear old dad would do anything to keep me quiet about certain things. So I got her this place! It’s a long story. But when your dad’s a rich asshole there’s really only one benefit.” Denki raised an eyebrow at her.

“Babe you’re so hot.”

“Oh my god, Denki. Not here.” Molly was laughing again. But she saw the way Kirishima was looking down at his cup. She pitied him. If only he hadn’t been a hero.

#kirishima eijiro x reader #kirishima x reader #kirishima x y/n #kirishima x you #eijirou kirishima #mha #my hero academia #bnha fanficiton #bnha x reader #boku no hero academia #bnha kirishima #mha kirishima #mha x reader #kirishima is best boy #idnah

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mononyann · 4 years

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a while back people requested that i share some of my headcanons for certain bnha characters, so here's some of the characters that i did

Shota Aizawa

- he absolutely has at LEAST 3 cats, he spoils the heck out of them too. that's why he's always eating those gel packs... he spends too much on his cats.

- he really does love his class. and we all know honey??? u haven't expelled any of them. ur soft for them ok.

- he likes to sleep with his cats bc he gets lonely at night... he will not admit it, but he likes having someone/something there :)

- he has reuccuring nightmares about the usj attack and how he could have failed to save his students

- has a very low alcohol tolerance and often ends up getting dragged back to his apartment by mic or midnight when they go out whilst he rambles and whines the entire time

- he hates crying and tries his best to keep his emotions held in, he's only cried in front of a select few people

- he tries not to let others opinions on him rule his life and tends to block it out if someone hates him

- he doesn't know it, but he is the entirety of class 1-a's dad.

- he really likes tea, and dislikes sweets

- as you would expect, he takes his coffee black

Hanta Sero

- he really likes kpop! he stans multiple groups and really wants to attend a concert

- though he seems really chill on the outside, he's actually quite sensitive and has some self confidence issues

- he loves being around people and finds that he gets his energy from being around those he loves

- definitely into e-boy fashion, and he is open about it

- pierced his own ears at 3 am and called kaminari crying about how he screwed it up

- he actually likes to draw a lot in his free time, it's very relaxing. he puts on some nice low-fi music and draws for hours

- he hasn't had many crushes in his life and doesn't find romance to be a big issue currently, but he's open to anything

- accidentally taped his hamster to the ceiling in 2nd grade, he didn't mean to and cried for hours (the hamster was ok)

Nemuri Kayama

- she is a BRO, she likes to crack a cold one open with the boys on the weekends

- she is bisexual and thinks everyone is beautiful in their own unique ways

- most likely talks shit about her coworkers to her classes

- she thinks children are adorable and loves them, often scaring them with her enthusiasm

- very touchy, she loves hugs and will probably not pass up a chance to use you as an armrest if she has the chance

- she secretly worries about aizawa a lot and is scared that he lets the past effect him too much

- did you guys know she has a cat?!

- i like to think she and mic are like... EPIC bros, she loves to paint his nails and do his hair while gossiping with him (aizawa would NEVER let her do this to him lmao)

- she isn't a mom, but finds the idea of having her own children very nice, for now having a cat will suffice

- she enjoys trying to make all might flustered, she thinks his reactions to things are always very cute and funny (it's all in good fun!)

- she's the mom friend! though she may seem very sexual, which she undoubtedly is, she is also very caring and has a very nuturing motherly personality, she's a lot more than just fanservice !!!!!

Todoroki Shoto

- completely oblivious when it comes to love... he doesn't even understand his own crushes

- "of course you can borrow my credit card uraraka" *pulls out endeavors card which he sneakily took*

- would be the person to tell a child that their pet guinea pig didn't go to heaven and be confused when they start sobbing... like "what... don't be honest?"

- allows his friends to huddle up to his warm side when they are cold

- is confused when people show him copious amounts of love and affection

- he would beat up anyone if they tried to do ANYTHING bad to midoriya

- he wants more friends. he really is enjoying meeting new people and having some new friends at ua!

- he gives really good hugs, he doesn't try to hug you too tight, but he doesn't half ass it either, very nice and warm

- he hates his scar. like. a lot. he wants to cover it up so bad but it just doesn't work. he's afraid it'll make other people scared of him.

Shinsou Hitoshi

- loves patd! and fall out boy, a brendon urie STAN

- loves to kiss his kitties on the forehead but dreads human interaction

- he loves to squish his cats' toebeans... he takes pictures of them and posts them to his secret cat social media acc

- he is gay but doesn't know how to feel about it and/or come out, he's really nervous and doesn't trust people to accept him

- he doesn't smile often but when he does it's the cutest thing ever

- he secretly really likes deku and kaminari and is hesitant about accepting their friendship, but appreciates the gestures a lot

- he suffers with social anxiety and doesn't really know how to make friends very well??? like, in middle school people were total dickbags to him so he kinda just closed himself off and decided he was gonna like... not make friends, but now that there's nice people around him he just kind of- doesn't know how

- this is actually canon! but he feels guilty about having to manipulate people when he uses his quirk, during the 4th school briefs book he feels guilty when he overhears midoriya and ojiro talking about him using his quirk during the sports festival, and he's like "i wish ojiro would say something rude about me to show he's angry so i wouldn't have to feel so guilty about this" since ojiro showed no ill feelings towards him

Izuku Midoriya

- "hold on I'll go get a blanket!" *opens closet* *thousands of all might figurines tumble out*

- watches cat vine compilations until 2 am, than freaks out when he realizes it is 2 am

- very good with children!

- used to be very self conscious about his freckles bc of bakugou insulting them; hid them with concealer for a while until someone told him they were beautiful

- loves his momma so muchhh he would do anything for her, he likes to surprise her with small favors to see her happy

- does not understand the concept of letting people handle their own problems

- stays after to class to offer his teachers help

- he has a lot of self doubts and is still struggling to this day to come to terms with the fact that he is worthy of having one for all

- he wants to learn how to cook for his mom and friends

Kyoka Jirou

- she is a lesbian!!!!! she has a crush on momo but is completely convinced that it's unrequited

- struggled with judgmental kids in middle school because of her sexual identity and style

- gets very easily flustered by anyone complimenting her

- that one person sitting at the back of the bus with their earbuds blasting full volume

- was a GOD at guitar hero

- acts like she's fed up with kaminari's (which she can be sometimes), but truly he's one of the people she can trust the most. she secretly appreciates the way he hypes up her talents and how he really helps her through the day sometimes!

- she loves heroes so much... when she was a little girl and didn't know what to do she'd ask herself "what would my favorite heroes do!?"

- she also secretly buys hero merch but hides it in fear of her being seen as sappy

Amajiki Tamaki

- would have trouble standing up for himself but if he sees ANYONE messing with mirio he WILL throw hands

- likes to watch bob ross videos when hes feeling anxious

- he once went to a butterfly museum with his parents and cried out of joy when one landed on his nose

- leaves food out for strays in his neighborhood, ends up attracting an entire hoard of animals.

- he can paint very nicely, he began to paint after he discovered bob ross

- mirio then saw his paintings and showed the entire class to tamaki's dismay, but everyone absolutely LOVED them!!!

- every day he becomes more and more capable and sure of himself, he is still very anxious, but he's learning to open up and embrace his talents <3

- he really loves to listen to music and any time he's not around others he'll probably have earbuds in, gently swaying back and forth to whatever he has on

- nejire loves to try out new hairstyles on him, and strangely enough, tamaki lets her, he loves it when people play with his hair

Shirakumo Oboro

- shares one collective braincell with mic

- that one person that brings EVERYONE valentine treats on valentines day at school

- most likely plays ding dong ditch

- *draws stick figure* "ah yes. just like van goh" (he cannot draw)

- hates to see his friends (and even random strangers upset) and will go out of his way to do dumb things to make them smile

- probably played soccer

- he's a massive flirt and likes to believe he will become a stereotypical anime protagonist with a massive harem

- he really wants to see aizawa come out of his shell more and tries his best to encourage him to see the best in everything

- he has most likely worn a schoolgirl uniform to class once

- he's very affectionate and loves to hug his friends (even if they don't want hugs), it's his way of showing he likes people

Hizashi Yamada

- he lives off of caffeine. he is a teacher, pro hero, and radio show host, im honestly not sure how he does it

- gives out stickers when students get the correct answer in class and has class parties when they are well behaved for the semester

- just like everyone else, he has his own turmoil as well, he likes to stay busy because it prevents him from having a lot of time to dwell on the past

- he gives really good hugs, and loves to feel the touch of others, it's very comforting to him

- was probably pretty troublesome when he was very young while he learned to get control of his quirk

- overall a really happy and excitable guy, he loves being the center of attention and if he can make people happy by being what he is, that's awesome!

- he shows his appreciation for people in odd ways, but he always means good, even if his wild antics can be a bit stressful lol

- he likes to sing a lot and does it a bunch when he's alone, he can also play a lot of instruments

- he can be very serious if needed, he does often put on a persona when he's present mic

- when he's hizashi (out of hero persona) he's even more of a dork than usual, very goofy, awkward and pouty. a manchild.

OK so I reached my image limit, if u guys wanna see the rest I might post some more later PLUS feel free to request some in my asks, I don't really know how all that stuff works bc I'm kinda new to Tumblr but ILL FIGURE IT OUT

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doodles-arts · 4 years

Text

You ‘Make-up’ my day

Bruce Banner x Reader

Word count: 1192

Description: Bruce has a girlfriend who is a make up artist, and he reveals something very endearing. This is a short and just a warm up for myself.

Warnings?: None, just a single mention of sex.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You looked over to your very handsome and busy boyfriend hard at work. “Can I please do your eyebrows?”

Bruce was a bit confused at your request. He knew what you meant makeup, but was clueless about what you were actually going to do. He was a few years older than you, and always spent your time off with him, and you were perfect at distracting him with these kinds of requests.

Being a makeup artist (meant through Tony of course), you always drew things on his arms until he took a break and always tried to practice on his hair, you’d braid it and even curled it once, the heat made him sleepy. You always made him take a break by making him your guinea pig and being forced to give you attention. “I…. Uh don’t know how to respectfully decline that offer”, he smiled a little at your frown.

He really had to get this done, it was just a bit of paperwork, for a book he wanted to publish soon. And he really wanted to get the last few pages done.

“Pleaseeee”, you knew you could break him. He’d been writing for hours and it was time for him to relax for the day. Tony warned you, getting his attention was hard, because his work easily captivated him. You were a workaholic and you guessed having a partner with the same addiction made you more attracted to him. Seeing as you had a hard time connecting to people because of your work. You ran a blog, worked at a modeling studio and ran a youtube channel. Posting every sunday. You ran a very packed schedule. But always made time for Bruce, because if you ever needed his presence he could care less if you showed up at his workplace. Tony even encouraged it, because eventually you made him take breaks and eat. His routine schedule worked perfectly with your spontaneous one.

You pouted and bent down to eye level and you could see him cracking. He scrunched his nose up and pursed his lips in an attempt to counteract your adorable pout. Your dolled up eyes fluttered and broke through his attempt. “Yeah, okay. But please no pictures” he huffed. You smiled and giggled from excitement, “no promises!”

It didn’t take you long to finesse Bruce's eyebrows, you tried not to make them too femanine, you had to practice men's eyebrows because you were working with a few male models as of recently. Happy with the opacity, you brushed through them and only cut them on the bottom. This gave an appearance of natural and very well kept eyebrows. Perfect for a man with Bruce’s age and physique.

“Done!” As he looked in the mirror, he saw the bags under his eyes and like a spell, the rest of his body felt the exhaustion he had been ignoring, all at once. His ‘new’ eyebrows framed his eyes very well and brought away the attention from his under eyes.

He always knew that he spent too much time with his work and inturn because of it, it cost him thousands of relationships throughout his life. Including women. You had stayed with him for a whole year, which meant you were the longest. He had no idea how you were doing it, or if you were still in love with him. He looked over at you and you were smiling widely, waiting for his response.

“If you don’t like it, I can wipe it off?” You still had a smile on, he couldn’t help but stare at you. Wondering how he managed to make you stay for so long. Did he deserve you? You were insanely beautiful and as much as the makeup you used to express yourself was pretty, your bare face was just as adorable. You were magnificent in bed, much to his own fear. Not to mention your amazing personality, the way you could sooth him in every way possible was beyond him.

You looked down at Bruce endearingly as you watched his love sick eyes watched over at you, he was deep in thought about you. You could read him like a book and you caressed the side of his face and gave him a sweet kiss. It snapped him out of the daze he was in, but was still silent to your question.

You didn’t mind though, taking a soft cotton makeup wipe to clean off the makeup on his eyebrows. You gave his forehead a sweet kiss on his forehead, as you took a seat on his lap. He smiled and couldn’t keep his eyes off you, you looked at him with a ‘what are you thinking about now?’

“I…. I love you”, your smile slowly minimized and your eyes grew in surprise, before watering up. Bruce panicked. “Wait, hey, hey, I’m sorry was that too soon? You don’t have to say it back”. Your face was cradled against his neck, as muffled as your words were, Bruce made them out. “I.. wuv.. fu too, zilly”, you took a breath and pulled out from his neck, your makeup running a bit. “I’ve loved you for a while, but when I spoke to Natasha for some advice, she said it would be better to let you say it first. She explained how you had a very harsh and guilty conscience and if I said it first you might feel bad and then you might talk yourself down. I didn’t want that so I waited.”

As confused about the accusation as Bruce wanted to feel, Natasha was right; he always felt that he was better off by himself because he could hurt everyone that was around him. Your bright smile was melting him. “Well, I’m sorry for making you wait so long, I just never found the time to say it I guess and I never realized how good you were to me until now. You made so much time to just be near me, even if I don’t pay you any attention. Or take you out on a proper date every weekend like normal couples.”

You giggled and shook your head, the mascara you had on was running down your cheeks, but Bruce still thought you were beautiful. “We aren’t a normal couple, and that’s why we work so well, your schedule is so out of wack and so is mine, I can always find time to shimmy my way into it. I’m glad you waited, it made it all the more meaningful.” You hugged him tightly and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

He held onto you, preventing you from getting up, and you smirked, “How about I make it up to you by some cuddles and a nap?” You squealed and nodded, “what are we waiting for?”

You got up, and hand in hand went to his room for a nap. Cuddles were great with Bruce, except the snoring, but you could live with it. He was a grabber and couldn’t help but hug whatever was near.

You dozed off to sleep thinking about those three words and the warmth that engulfed you.

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thatsparrow · 5 years

Text

(fleabag/priest • read on ao3)

I love you, too.

It'll pass.

Much like God, that last bit turned out to be a lie.

—

It's two years later and things are—fine, actually. Good, even. Cashiers ask you how you are, and you say, "I'm doing well, thanks," and it doesn't even feel like a lie. The cafe is, somehow, still a success—enough so that you can afford to do things like buy a new awning and replace the linoleum. You even spend a weekend with drop-cloths spread out over your nice, recently-replaced linoleum and give the interior a new coat of paint. You choose this pastel, light-washed teal color that looked cheery on the swatches but mostly reminds you of watered-down mouthwash. Still, when the sun comes in during the afternoons, it looks nice. You get compliments on it.

All the guinea pig pictures are still up, of course.

Both Hillary and Stephanie (who is, you remind people, actually a hamster) are also doing well, which feels like a miracle. A few months back, Hillary caught some sort of guinea pig flu and that had led to an emergency vet visit and several very-panicked Google searches about guinea pig lifespans, but then she'd gotten better and apparently they live for four-to-eight years anyway, so, she'll likely be around for ages yet.

(Hamsters, on the other hand, only live about two. Sorry, Stephanie.)

That banker—or, former banker? You never did find out what his new job was—still comes by. At least once a month, and usually on Chatty Wednesdays. He brings his wife, too, as he'd said he would. She has kind eyes—which is the sort of description you don't use very often, but suits her—and is both soft-spoken and full of questions. You learn that she bakes, because of course she does, and every so often she brings along a cloth-lined basket of lavender cookies or rose-frosted cupcakes or something equally Martha Stewart. They're fucking delicious, too.

Claire still commutes from Finland, but less often, now that she lives there. She has an apartment in London for when she visits that's obscenely beautiful and rarely-ever used—dark granite countertops and these funny-looking geometric sofas and lots of tasteful artwork (though, none of them done by your cunt stepmother). It should all be gathering dust, but Claire pays someone to clean it once a week and to keep the fridge stocked (on the off chance she comes for a sudden visit, which she never does). Sometimes, when you've been out late and your own place is too far away, you stay there for the night. Claire did give you a spare key, after all, and it seems a shame that no one is getting any use out of those million-thread count sheets or the quinoa salads in the fridge. You don't particularly like quinoa, but that isn't the point.

The two of you don't talk often, but often enough. You know that she's busy, and when she does call, it doesn't feel like an obligation. Like, sure, maybe your sister needs a calendar reminder to phone you, but when she does, she sounds genuinely happy to hear from you. (She also just sounds genuinely happy about her life, which is such a wonderful change of pace.) Tall, blonde, beautiful, Finnish Klare posts pictures of the two of them on Facebook sometimes (yes, you got a Facebook just to friend him)—mostly selfies, all taken by him, of him and Claire in various corners of the world. Stern-looking, northern cities where the sun doesn't rise part of the year, and bright, fruit-flavored beaches where the sun never sets. Claire looks half-annoyed in all of them, but the kind of annoyance that's covering up how pleased she really is. Like she isn't allowed to look too happy about her tall, blonde, beautiful, Finnish boyfriend and how much he clearly adores his tall, brunette, equally-beautiful, British girlfriend.

"If you have a child, will you also name it Claire?"

"What? Don't be silly, we're not having a child. I don't even know if we're going to get married."

(She does, and they are.)

"You could spell it with a ch so it's a little bit different. Something silly and American, like C-h-l-a-y-r-e."

"Stop it."

(She's smiling on the other end of the phone. You expect they'll announce the pregnancy by the end of the year.)

"It's gender-neutral, too, so you're set either way. Come on—you both have perfect bones and perfect hair and it'd be such a shame to waste that. "

"You're ridiculous."

"Always, but I think I'd be a great Aunt to little Chlayre."

"I'm going, now."

Apparently, having sex with someone who has the same name as you is weird, but you get used to it. And, apparently, the sex has been so amazing anyway that it's worth a little weirdness. Good for her. God knows she needed it.

(Speaking of God—)

He moved parishes shortly after the wedding. Not God, of course, but—well, you know. You'd thought it a little dramatic to move entire cities just because you'd had sex, but it was also arguably less dramatic than his leaving the Church, so. Likely he had made the right call. You probably would have ended up hating each other by the end, anyway, if he'd stayed. It wouldn't have worked out, because when do these things ever? It's good that he left. (It isn't.) It is.

Still.

You think about him less than you used to, less than in the days after—I love you, too. It'll pass—the bus stop, when it was all still so fresh and new. When you were feeling dramatic (drunk), you'd liken it to the feeling of having lost a limb, like he'd taken one of your hands or some vital organ when he'd walked away. When you're feeling less dramatic (sober), you liken it to having lost something you'd only been promised—something fanciful, like someone told you that they'd invented the ability to breathe underwater and it had all turned out to be a lie.

Except it wasn't a lie. He did love you. He just loved God more.

One afternoon, you'd been running errands that had happened to take you past the church (six blocks out of your way, actually, but close enough) and ducked inside—not even to say anything, just to see him, maybe—but it had been empty except for Pam arranging some pamphlets at the front. You'd asked about him, because of course you had, and she'd said he was "gone."

"Gone gone? Like—"

(Dead?)

"No, sorry, my mistake. Moved. This lovely parish on the coast whose own priest passed away a few weeks ago. A little quiet, but he says it's very charming."

"You've spoken to him, then?"

"Yes, of course."

Of course—like it's so simple.

You leave ten minutes later, after Pam's talked you into donating another ten pounds to the collection and volunteering at another church event the coming weekend, but it doesn't really hit you until you're nearly back at the cafe that he's—gone. Not dead gone, but might as well be. That, much like Harry taking that stupid dinosaur toy, he'd wanted to close the door permanently. Maybe he knew you well enough to know that you'd come back to the church someday, or maybe he knew himself well enough to figure it was only a matter of time before he turned up on your doorstep, and so he'd taken the choice away from you both. What a stupid, frustratingly-adult thing of him to do.

You hate him and love him a little bit more for it.

You don't really know what moving on looks like, but you figure it out. You drink a lot, at first, and then a little bit less. You stop feeling weepy whenever you see a Bible, or a G&T, or photos from the wedding. Rebound sex isn't as good as you'd imagined (except with the Hot Misogynist), and so you quit bringing people home quite so often—at least until you can stop comparing everyone to him. You still masturbate over him, of course, but it feels less like a need and more like a way to treat yourself. Like, if you eat all of that kale salad and only have a glass of wine with dinner, then tonight you can wank over his stupid strong arms and his stupid beautiful neck and that stupid little smile of his. If you just make it through a whole lunch with your dad and your cunt stepmother and not say anything too profane, then you get to touch yourself and imagine waking up with him in the morning and him making you pancakes and other sickeningly domestic fantasies.

It's been two years, so of course you've moved on, but you've moved on in a way that lets you keep loving him. Perhaps it's irresponsible, but you're not willing to let him go entirely. Not yet, anyway.

—

Then, your cunt stepmother announces that she and your father are adopting a baby.

"I'm sorry, what—"

"You've got to be fucking kidding—"

They'd waited until Claire was in town to make the announcement. They'd invited you both over for tea, and you should've known something was strange about that, but then you're sitting in the garden with a mouthful of Earl Gray and your cunt stepmother says she's adopting and you have to flip a coin between spitting out the tea all over her tasteful linens or scalding the inside of your throat.

You end up swallowing the sip, but it's a close call.

"Well, you know, I've never really ruled out having children—it's such a blessed, beautiful part of life—but, unfortunately, I can no longer conceive naturally, and so your father and I have been discussing—"

(It wasn't a discussion.)

"—and we submitted the applications and met with a mother this week. Lovely girl, terribly awful home life, can't afford to raise the baby on her own, but she's just got the most marvelous cheek bones."

(Cunt.)

"Anyway, she's due in a couple of weeks and then we'll be bringing little Felicity home—"

(Felicity?)

"—and we'd just love it if you two were there for the christening."

"Yeah, because this family has such a great record with godmothers."

Your cunt stepmother is still smiling but the look she's giving you is acidic enough to peel paint.

"Oh, look, I don't know." Claire's grip on the teacup is so tight, you're surprised she hasn't cracked the porcelain. "I've just taken time off to come home, and I'm really not sure I'll be able to again so soon—"

"No, but you must—mustn't she, darling? Your father just couldn't bear it if you weren't there for such an important day, and we did so miss you at the wedding reception."

(Two years, and she still hasn't let that go.)

"Say you will, Claire. Please? Promise us you'll be there." How your cunt stepmother manages to look so pleading is a mystery, but fuck her if she doesn't have it nailed. Your father is still mostly silent, as he's been throughout this whole ordeal, but Claire must see something in his expression because she relents with a, "Yes, fine, alright. I'll be there."

For the christening. The christening of the baby they're adopting. Your father's going to be in his fucking seventies at the kid's graduation.

"Oh, how marvelous! It won't be for a few months or so after the birth, so you should have plenty of time to get everything in order. The whole thing will be just splendid."

(It won't be.)

—

The day of the christening creeps up like a bad dream.

(You know those events when you think you'd rather get a bikini wax and then take a bath in lemon juice than attend? This is one of those days.)

You found a dress that seems like a good church dress, a boat-neck, sky-blue thing that doesn't really do anything for your figure, but it is a christening, so. You get there early because your cunt stepmother asked you to (demanded it), and because Claire will be getting there early as well, and maybe the two of you can sneak some of the church wine. You figure you'll probably be handing out programs or directing people to their seats or whatever else happens at a christening. It'll last about an hour, and then there will be a tasteful reception with champagne and sparkling cider and your dad and cunt stepmother showing off baby Felicity in her white, wedding-like christening gown, and then you can go home and forget the whole thing ever happened.

That's the plan, anyway.

You get to the church a half-hour before the christening starts (which is still later than you were meant to be here, but fuck it) and your cunt stepmother is already in—well, a tizzy. She's wearing this funny, artsy-looking gown that's patterned like stained glass and you wish it looked worse on her than it does. She's not yet holding baby Felicity (because this day isn't really about baby Felicity) but she is deep in conversation with the priest up near the altar, who's already dressed in his own decorative christening robes. Then your cunt stepmother looks up and sees you standing in the aisle, half-debating whether you could hide under the pews, and she's calling out your name and saying, "Thank God you're finally here—sorry, Father," and, "Oh, do you remember—?"

(It's him.)

"—he's the priest who officiated our wedding. He's not in the parish anymore—such a shame—but when I knew we'd be adopting little Felicity, I contacted him to find out if he'd be willing to perform the ceremony. Such a dear, isn't he?"

(It's him.)

"I do so love the symmetry of it. And it seemed such a hassle trying to find another priest we'd connect with when we already knew such a nice fellow."

(It's him, it's him—fuck me—it's him.)

He smiles when he sees you, a nice, polite, church smile. Of course, he's had however many weeks to prepare for this whereas you've just had an anvil dropped on you like you're Wile E. fucking Coyote.

"Pleasure to see you again," he says. He even sounds sincere.

"Likewise—" you say, but then your cunt stepmother is coming down from the altar and shepherding you into the back and putting you to work folding programs—"Make sure you're lining up the corners, dear,"—and you've never hated her quite so much. Of course, if it weren't for her and baby Felicity and the whole stupid christening, he wouldn't be here in the first place, but you're willing to ignore that for the sake of hating her. Fuck, he'd looked good, too. And here you are in your fucking church-appropriate dress folding fucking programs and by the end of the day he'll be gone back to the fucking coast and—

You need a cigarette, or ten. Fuck the programs.

It's quiet in the alley, enough so for you to take a couple of slow, deep, wonderfully nicotine-filled breaths and get yourself together. It'll be fine. It'll be miserable, but it'll also be fine. You'll sit in the pew, and you'll watch him perform the ceremony, and try very hard not to think about how beautiful he is underneath the fancy christening robes, and tonight you'll drink yourself unconscious and then wake up tomorrow and forget the whole day ever happened. It'll be the worst day of your life, but then it will be over.

(Second-worst, actually.)

The cigarette is nearly burned down to your fingernails, and you're about to stub it out when you hear the side door opening, and you say, "Sorry, Dad, I'll be there in a moment, I'm just—"

"Got a light?"

It's him.

(It's him.)

You nod, your breath feeling very shallow as he comes up next to you, leans in towards you with the tip of his cigarette. The orange light looks like paint on his skin, like he's been pulled from a Renaissance painting. He still smells the same.

"Aren't you worried about ash on your—" you gesture down at the fancy christening robes.

"Not really." He exhales, slow; his hand is shaking a little. "I doubt anyone but your stepmother would notice, anyway."

The thought gives you a sudden rush of satisfaction. Fuck, you do love him.

"I tried to quit for a while," he says after another breath, the smoke hovering in front of him, "then found I didn't really want to."

(You hope he isn't actually talking about cigarettes.)

"Better than me—I've never even tried to give it up."

(You, at least, are definitely not talking about cigarettes.)

"How have you been?" he asks.

(Miserable, then less miserable, then better, and now miserable all over again.)

"Good, actually. Haven't run myself out of business yet, so. That's something. How about you?"

"I was pretty lonely, for a while. New parish and all that. But it's not so bad now, and I quite like being so close to the water."

(You're happy that he's doing well, and also a little unhappy that he isn't doing worse.)

"That sounds nice, actually. And it's good of you, to have come all the way back for the christening. You didn't have to."

He's giving you a look. You hope it's the sort of look that means, yes, I did.

"Well, your stepmother can be awfully persistent."

"Yeah, well, she's a cunt."

He laughs at that, both amused and unsurprised. "I don't think I can mention that during my speech."

"No, probably not."

His own cigarette is nearly gone; you'll have to go inside, soon, and then the moment will be over. You really, really don't want it to be over.

"Do you ever think about moving back?" Your palms somehow feel very dry and very sweaty at once.

"Sometimes. Often, if I'm being honest, but—" he exhales instead of finishing the sentence. "There's plenty to keep me busy where I am now."

"And how's—God?" You're just fishing for time now. Badly.

He raises an eyebrow at you. "Mostly the same. A bit disappointed in the state of the world, but still filled with an infinite capacity for love, forgiveness, et cetera."

"Right. I think I remember something like that in the Bible."

"Love, forgiveness, et cetera?"

"Exactly."

He laughs again, then pauses. "Do you still have it, then? The one I gave you, I mean."

(You know what he meant.)

"Yeah, I've got it somewhere."

(In your nightstand, but he doesn't need to know that.)

He nods, then lets his own cigarette fall to the pavement.

"Well, I should—"

"You should probably—"

If you were braver, you might kiss him. If he were braver, he might kiss you. You don't really want him to leave, and he doesn't particularly look like he wants to go, but without being brave, neither of you knows what's supposed to happen next. He'd go back inside and then go back to his new parish, probably, and you'd never see him again. It's painful, how much you don't want that.

"Can I ask you something?"

He looks both curious and a little afraid for the question. "Yeah, of course."

He'll be going anyway, whether or not if you fuck this up. There's no reason not to try—other than that you're a little bit of a coward, but that's not really an excuse.

"You said it would pass." You feel a little dizzy. "Did it?" His jaw goes tight a little, like there's a wire running through it. "I'm just—curious, I guess." You take a slow breath. Fuck, what you wouldn't give for another cigarette right now, or an IV filled with whiskey. "Because it didn't, for me."

At that, he lets go of whatever tension he was holding in his jaw. He lets out a half-laugh that seems—relieved, almost. "No?"

You shake your head.

"No. It didn't for me, either. I feel like I've spent the last few years cheating on God—loving him and loving you."

There it is, in the open then. I love you, too.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

You want to kiss him, or maybe have him fuck you against the wall. You think he probably would, too. It's exhausting, feeling this elated and miserable at once; by the time you go back inside, you hope the needle has landed on one or the other, you almost don't care which.

"What does that mean, then?"

He laughs again. "Fuck if I know. Like I haven't wasted two years trying to figure that out." He sighs, impossibly weary. "I still don't want to leave the church."

"Okay."

"But I don't want to spend any more time without you, either."

"Okay."

"It would help if you said anything else."

"I would, if I knew what else to say."

(Kiss me, fuck me, marry me—none of those are particularly solution-oriented, though.)

"It's been a while since we were friends. We might not like each other anymore."

(Bullshit. To the friends part and the not liking each other part.)

"Yeah, maybe."

"We could still end up hating each other."

(We wouldn't.)

"Also true."

"But—I could come back. See you again. See if this is still—"

(It is.)

"I'd like that."

He nods, weighty, like you were just discussing how to solve world hunger instead of whether or not he'll move a forty-minute drive back inland.

"I should actually get back inside, now, before your stepmother castrates me—"

(Which would be a shame, now, after all that.)

"—but I'll be in touch? If you want?"

"I—yeah. Yes, I do."

He nods, and then he's stepping away, back towards the side door and the interior of the church. You wish he'd moved the other way, wish he'd push you up against the pitted brick wall and kiss you like it'd kill him to do anything else, but he doesn't. He's already in his fancy christening robes, after all, and it'd be a shame to wrinkle them now. Besides, you've waited two years. You can wait a few weeks or months more. You can wait, and then the two of you will figure out what happens next. He loves you as much as he loves God, and that already feels like a better place to start.

You brush the ash from your own dress and go back inside.

(You had said this was a love story.)

#fleabag #fleabag x the priest #fleabag fic #the priest #3600 words in like two days I really was feeling inspired #my fic

267 notes · View notes

bubblegumstardust · 4 years

Text

Rules: Answer 10 questions, come up with 10 more and tag 10 people. I was tagged by two sweethearts @shellygurumi and @hms-chill xx

Sorry it’s under a read more but with 2 sets of questions this post got long. Also to you two who tagged me, feel free to consider yourself tagged to do my questions too, I’d be really interested to see your answers tbh since you’re both usually people I’d tag in this kind of thing xxx

@shellygurumi‘s questions

WHAT is your favourite color? pink blue and purple, all in pale pastel shades

Do you prefer to read, write or watch TV/Movies? (Or rank them in order of preference!) I love all of them! watching TV and movies is definitely the easiest and probably the one I do most since I don’t have to think about it but I still absolutely adore reading and writing

What was the last song you specifically looked up to listened to? I’m actually not sure because I usually just shuffle whatever playlist I’m feeling but potentially Don’t Lose Your Head from SIX because I frequently want to listen to that

What was your first pet growing up? What was their name? If you didn’t have one, what did you want? I actually don’t know which pet came first, I’ve had a lot in my life but the first would have either been one of the fish or one of the rabbits. The first of those I really don’t remember the names of because tbh I think some of them might have been gotten before I was born. The first whose names I remember though were a rabbit named Elmo and a Guinea Pig named Moley.

If you can only recommend watching one show, what show would you recommend? omg I really have no idea. there’s so many great shows out there, I think for sheer entertainment value though I’d pick Don’t Tell The Bride

How are you doing today? I hope you’re doing okay. Here’s a big hug! *HUUUG* I love you. thanks for the hug, I love you too! I’m not doing too bad really, definitely a heck of a lot better than yesterday

With an unlimited budget, what 10 items would you go buy from the supermarket/grocery store right now? (Let’s say there’s no one in there but you, so no need to fear the plague.) a fuck load of yeast, good hair dye, coke, can I say the entire homeware section?, new pyjamas, my favourite smoothie (which they didn’t have today :(), some more ice cream, some more fresh fruit, maybe a nice new dress or something since our supermarket has some pretty nice clothes, also some more summer shoes bc I left all mine at uni

What’s the strangest nickname you’ve ever had? no one ever gives me nicknames. at least not that I can remember.

If you started a podcast tomorrow, what would it be about? probably me chatting about one random new hyperfixation each time. Space stuff, a book I’ve read, movies, random bits of history and mythology, videogames, whatever really. It would probably be very Drunk History style except I’m not drunk, I’m just Like That

What is your favorite dessert? Oh GOD. I love a bit of chocolate fudge cake, or brownies, or just anything with chocolate in it tbh

@hms-chill‘s questions

What’s something you’re proud of right now? uh...I managed to get through the grocery shopping without wanting to kill anyone including myself?

Are you socially isolating? If so, who’s with you? Yep. I’m with my mum and dad, both of them have to work but my dad at least gets to work from home so I’m not totally alone all day

Do you have any pets? Want to share a picture? Y’all must already know I have a dog and I will jump at whatever opportunity to share cute pictures of him so here he is asking me for food this morning

What is your favorite quarantine activity? baking and playing Animal Crossing

If you could only recommend one book, which one would it be? Hannah, why are you doing this to me? I’m torn between rwrb and Not Your Sidekick

What is your favorite thing to learn about? space and history

Do you have a favorite recipe you want to share? okay so I already shared my amazing brownie recipe but here it is again so more of you can enjoy it if you wanna try it out

What is your favorite quote? I really don’t know tbh, my memory isn’t great and I vewry rarely manage to retain anything like that but one I do like (and sorry, it’s really long but I like the whole thing) is: “It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end… because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it’s only a passing thing… this shadow. Even darkness must pass.” from Lord of the Rings

Do you have any holiday traditions you really enjoy? I don’t think my family and I have any ‘just us’ holiday traditions except always going to the cinema and getting take out on Christmas eve. our holidays tend to pretty much like everyone else’s

Do you like where you live? If so, what’s your favorite part of it? If not, where would you like to live? I live 2 places at the moment I guess and I actually really like both of them. Nottingham is really different from what I’m used to at home since it’s a big city and I grew up in a village and now live in a small town. Idk what it is about it but I actually enjoy being there unlike other big cities like London. Where my I guess main home is is really nice as well. We live right by a load of woods and fields and you can go on really nice walks. We also live near the sea so that’s nice and it’s also quiet where our house is but it’s not that far to get into the town so all in all it’s a really nice place to live even if maybe the town as a whole wouldn’t be considered one of the better places to live in the UK. We’re also only a couple hours from London so that’s handy.

okay so the questions I’m giving you guys:

If you could swap places with the protagonist of any book you want, who would you pick and what would you do differently?

If you could learn one new skill instantly today, what would you pick?

What super power would you like to have and what would you use it for? would you do good or evil or just look after yourself?

What is your favourite fanfic you’ve ever read?

What’s something you’re looking forward to?

How do you think/hope your life will be different (or the same I guess) in 10 years time?

What are you going to do once quarantine is over?

Talk a bit about love. Do you believe in it? Do you want it? Do you have it? What does it mean to you?

If you could meet anyone, real or not, alive or not, famous or not, who would you pick?

What’s your favourite time of day?

Tagging: @writingbychelle @wonderfilledness @im-definitely-hermione-granger @meranyth @yareyare-ez @elusive-epeeist @thomasscresswell @ideklovee @dog-suffrage-advocate @qwerty3714

#tag game

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onision-is-bad · 5 years

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Onision’s Animals

WARNING: LONG POST, CLICK KEEP READING FOR MORE

In lieu of recent personal events (the loss of one of my amazing cats), I have the extreme need to write about the animal abuse going on in the Onion house. He claims to love animals, suggesting that being vegetarian makes him an infallible animal-lover.

So here’s a quick rundown on my personal background with animals:

I have a dog and 2 cats (used to have 3, just to clarify). They are very happy and very healthy. The one who passed was taken care of to the best of my ability, and while she was one of the most difficult cats I’ve ever had (tough personality), she was still loving and did not deserve the cancer she passed from. She is gone too soon, but the decision to not let her suffer anymore was more important than my need to force her to stay around for my sake. She is dearly missed.

My family used to raise tropical fish and exotic bugs.

I did a lot of animal-related camps and charity activities when I was younger. (I’m a little predisposed right now, with work and moving and stuff.)

I was a vegetarian. Turns out this made my chronic illness worse.

That’s enough background. Now into the animal abuse parts. Here’s a quick list of what he’s done that I’m aware of:

He verbally abuses his dogs.

He uses “humane” collars. (I’ll explain why they’re not.)

He mistreated his guinea pigs.

He keeps his hamsters in poor conditions. (They may be his son’s, but either way, as a parent, he’s equally responsible for the care.)

He killed his turtle.

He keeps his fish in horrible conditions.

Right. Let’s start off with the verbal abuse. This is something most of us anti-os have seen, but for those new to the community or just randomly coming across this post, here’s a link to the sound recording:

https://soundcloud.com/someguy827/onision-verbally-abusing-his-dog

I’m not going to go into this any more than that, so let’s move on to these “humane” collars.

These collars, I’m 99% certain, are vibration collars. Dogs get distracted easily, so vibration collars work by distracting the dog from barking by, well, vibrating. They don’t hurt the dog physically. That’s why they’re considered humane. But teaching dogs to not bark or growl isn’t necessarily a good thing. They bark and growl because they’re trying to tell you something. If they’re in distress or feel that they’re in danger, why would you try to stop them from expressing that? And if they’re happy, and you don’t want them to bark, teach them to do something else, like pick up a toy. It’s easier and healthier and more humane to teach your dogs to do something rather than to not do something. If the vibrations scare them, that’s also bad. Teach respect, not fear. Respect makes a healthy relationship. Fear does not.

I know very little about rodents. I wanted to own a rodent. My mom did not want me to own a rodent. (They can be smelly and our larger animals would definitely have tried to eat them.) However, I have friends who raise Guinea Pigs. They need a fair amount of space and a lot of care. They need their nails trimmed. They need attention. Hamsters need space, too. So the cages, these cages:

are NOT good. Hamsters need lateral space. They really aren’t big climbers. These cages are TINY! Most cages and fish tanks sold in major pet stores aren’t actually good for the pets and are very expensive. With rodents, the easiest thing to do is to make your own enclosure. This was posted on KiwiFarms as a review of one of the cages pictured here, and the enclosure she has in the background appears to be homemade and more along the lines of what you want for your hamsters:

youtube

I know literally nothing about turtles, so I’ll just say this: How stupid do you have to be to think that enclosing an animal in an unbreathable container in the heat would be acceptable?

The last animal abuse instance I’ll talk about is the fish. Now, I haven’t had fish in the house for a long time due to moving. My family is very busy, so we try to limit our animal intake to only those which desperately need the kind of house we have (all of our animals are rescues). That means we don’t take fish, among other kinds of animals. However, I still know a fair amount about them. The tank Greg has looks like this:

Let me list the problems:

It’s too small.

It’s disgusting.

There are no plants.

It’s overcrowded.

It’s in the sun.

There doesn’t appear to be an aerator.

This kind of tank is good for keeping things like small reptiles, some kinds of bugs, or maybe hermit crabs, but not fish. We kept stick bugs in tanks this size since they are very sedentary creatures. Our fish were in two 70-gallon tanks. Fish are generally very active. They need to be able to swim around. The water in the tank is disgusting. Adding in plants, some algae-eating aquatic creatures, and a better filter would naturally help, but moving the tank out of the sun and cleaning it weekly are the top two things any fish owner should do. Plus, if it’s in the sun, the water is heating up and cooling down far too much for the comfort of the fish. Fish are very sensitive creatures. The water line on the tank suggests it hasn’t been cleaned in at least several weeks. If you can’t imagine sticking your head in the water and being okay, it’s not clean enough for the fish. (Side note, do not actually stick your head in your fish tank when there are fish in it.)

Anyways, that wraps up my overly-long post on Onision’s animal abuse. I’m genuinely angry at him. I love my animals with all my heart, and I can’t imagine treating any of them like this. He claims that he loves animals. He says being a vegetarian proves he loves animals. But actions speak louder than words. I was frustrated with the wetland destruction, but this is somehow more malicious. If he can’t take care of these animals, how does he take care of the most complicated animals of all: children?

#onision #anti #anti onision #anti o #animals #animal abuse

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ateanalenn · 4 years

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The Untamed / MDZS, resources post, stuff I needed as a writer

ORIGINAL POST AT DREAMWIDTH! (and updates will be there too and maybe on tumblr, if I remember)

(this is a copy paste, the formatting might not survive)

(also available on AO3)

The Untamed / MDZS, resources post, stuff I needed as a writerApr. 11th, 2020 05:46 pm ateanalennFinding info for this show / how to write about / pitfalls to avoid was a pain :( I guess that's part of having fandom on Tumblr. Since Tumblr's search function only works by selling a kidney and sacrificing a goat, I had to rely on Google. Which, not great. Anyway, useful stuff I found to understand this fandom: • MDZS on Dreamwidth: theuntamed_mdzs (active) mxtx (community focused on all the works by the author Mo Xiang Tong Xiu. Not active, but it's there) theyilingweisect (community sharing fics, meta, discussions. Not active either since jan 2020) • MDZS aka Mo Dao Zu Shi (book) aka Grandmaster of Demobnic Cultivation / The Untamed (drama) (there's also an audio drama, a manhua, a donghua, ...) - the novel's en glish fan translation at Exiled Rebels (complete ) As far as I know, this is the most popular translation, though I would like to know if anyone has another translation that they think fit best. - the drama is streaming on Netflix, Viki, WeTV & Youtube. From what I heard around, Netflix and Youtube are the most accessible, obviously, but Viki has the best subtitles (and a whole lot of annoying pubs though). I think that I heard somewhere that there are fan subtitles made, will update if I find the link again). • About names: • The Untamed: A Primer Basically an overview of what is this drama, a few spoilers (but under arrows to open so less risks to see something you didn't want to see). Useful list of titles for the main charas! (ex: Wei Wuxian: Young Master Wei Wei Ying (use of this name denotes “I feel affection for you”) The Yiling Patriarch (use of this name denotes “I think you are evil”) A-Xian / Xianxian (use of this name denotes “I am your loving older sister, have some soup”) Lan Wangji: Second Young Master Lan Lan Zhan (use of this name denotes “I feel affection for you”) Hanguang Jun (use of this name denotes “I respect you, and you are also famously very beautiful”) Wangji (use of this name denotes “I am your older brother and I wish you’d make a friend”) ) • Another primer tumblr by sonickitty with a few where-do-I-find links • Alexandra Rowland explains What Is The Untamed twitter (with pics) • How Ancient Chinese Names Work - Learn from The Untamed Detailed explanation of what's going on with the names (aka Lan Wangji, Lan Zhan, Hanguang-jun) • Dramatis Personae for Modao Zushi the book dw (another detailed who's who/names list) • Names again, Chinese/Mandarin conventions twitter (aka ex the accents aren't necessary, they're there for pronunciation and some explanation of who would use full name/shortened name) • Infographic: birth name vs courtesy name vs title vs respectful address twitter • Quick table / honorifics guide tumblr by cleyra • Mo Dao Zu Shi | 魔道祖师 The various adaptions tumblr by gravitydefyingtears • A list of MDZS FanFic Common Misleading tumblr by kazeki • A conversation about linguistic register, Lan Wangji, and I guess Wei Wuxian can come too tumblr (pretty important text to understand how lwj speaks) • Writing Lan Wangji's speech patterns (aka say the most in the least words) and the follow up Lan Wangji moving into the lowest, most vernacular linguistic register to try and get through to Wei Wuxian tumblr by hunxi-huilai • Using "You/I" vs "Title-as-you" tumblr by hunxi-guilai • Sword names tumblr by hunxi-guilai • Honorifics: jun vs zun tumblr by hunxi-guilai • THE spreadsheet: Mo Dao Zu Shi Character Name Chart, recced by flamebyrd (of who uses what for whom) • Misc Info: • 59 slides of awesomeness by chatcolat. Who's who, plot summary, humor. Beware, so full of spoilers you'll cry if you want to keep some mystery, but! concise recap of what happens in the show to keep the timeline in mind. • Everything about those cultivation sects in ‘The Untamed’ Quick who's who of the various sects (Gusu Lan, Lanling Jin, Yunmeng Jiang, Qishan Wen, Qinghe Nie. Protip: first word is basically the location, second is the sect/clan name). • Reference for Modao Zushi Writers: Chinese terms ao3. "This is to provide a reference for writers who are unfamiliar with Chinese literary conventions or terms used in canon." • Resource list dw: Libitina's twitter links for Meta, Linguistics, Costumes, Food, Edits, Art. • Actual drama title vs English drama title twitter • How "Mo Dao Zu Shi" became "Chen Qing Ling" became "The Untamed" tumblr by hunxi-guilai • Very necessary meta about why the novel/extras seems to have so many sex consent issues and how translating to English potentially gives a very different overall feel to the scene (ex: ExR = "you're too much, you're way too much" becomes chiaki_himura's "you're good, you're too good", becomes bigbadredpanda's "you're amazing, you're the best"). Also, Chinese language enables to shorten sentences which makes stuff implied, 's your job to see context clues.) • hunxi guilai's master list of various detailed topics re-Chinese language/customs tumblr • "Wangxian" is such a clever portemanteau tumblr by untamedconnotations • Song Lan didn’t just say that Xiao Xingchen was “nice-looking,” he basically said that Xiao Xingchen was smokin’ hot except like, in two characters and blanketed with literary respectability. tumblr by hunxi-guilai (this is only relevant because xxc IS the most beautiful person, really and needs to be protected at all cost) • The Unclean Realm isn't "unclean" has in dirty/bad, it's most probably to show the difference of way of cultivating vs the other sects tumblr by hunxi-guilai • WuJi, the love song's fan translation tumblr by iarrod • Timeline: • 59 slides of awesomeness by chatcolat. Who's who, plot summary, humor. Beware, so full of spoilers you'll cry if you want to keep some mystery, but! concise recap of what happens in the show to keep the timeline in mind. • A google spreadsheet, via mihanada's GoDC timeline wip (Year/Event/Notes/Ages/...) • MDZS Timeline, that meta AO3 post on speed by TheWickling. Useful if you want all the details, a bit difficult to navigate/understand when you just landed in the fandom. Still very useful. • And the sequel: On Character's Ages ao3 "A collection of meta on the possible ages for different characters in MDZS and what ages they would be during key events in the timeline." • Modao Zushi, birthdates/timeline dw Dirthdates starting with 0 = wwx's birth year. Succinct & useful. • Maps • Fan made mdzs / untamed worldmap twitter • Places of The Untamed - Where They Are in The Real World • IRL sect locations reddit • Google Map of clan locations in Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation tumblr • Lotus Pier really is one of the most underrated but beautiful places. twitter • Gifsets and images: - Mo Dao Zu Shi / The Untamed drama character guide! deviantart picture = name, who's who in pics. - The Untamed sect sigils - In Which LWJ Gives Not A Single Shit, A Thread #LanWangji #WangXian #cql #TheUntamed SPOILERS for most of the show twitter - The various stages of hairstyles + accessories twitter - SongXiao are in love, got married, are living happily ever after,(FITE ME) twitter by shenweiss - Realizing that wwx is wearing lwj's silk undershirt and the follow up: Qiren's face when he notices xD twitter - gingersnapwolves's Untamed tumblr tag - thewickling's mdzs tumblr tag - hunxi-guilai's cql tumblr tag - compilation of wangxian just being gay and making everyone feel like a third wheel twitter by weiwxngji - wwx swoons a lot and he's gorgeous twitter - Alexandra Rowland explains What Is The Untamed twitter (with pics) - grinding ink requires great patience, often represents that one is willing to wait for another’s feelings twitter - sad compilation of wangxian gazing into each other’s eyes that no one asked for, you’re welcome twitter - This frontal view of Wei Wuxian laying on Lan Wangji’s lap is everything. twitter - Lotus Pier really is one of the most underrated but beautiful places. twitter - Sometimes you see something, a picture, a video, just a snippet of a short moment, and you SEE the love. twitter - CQL’s working title was hot murder husbands twitter (this is amazing) - Lan Wangji just looks a thousand times more intimidating with golden eyes twitter - #TheUntamed’s spinoff webmovie #FatalJourney posters twitter (yessss, nhs, one of my fav) - Don’t you love how exactly 0.5 seconds of this video is Lan Zhan explaining that only spouses are allowed to touch the headband and the rest of the entire 2(!) minutes is a complication of Wei Ying touching it anyways... he said I wanna marry you. twitter • Fic Recs: - DW guest Post: Untamed Fic Starter Pack (a few fics for each subject (ex post canon, juniors centric, ...) - Twitter thread starting with Alexandra Rowland asking for fluffy MDZS/Untamed fic recs. (good new-fandom starter too!) - That twitter thread collecting a list of lady-centric Untamed/MDZS fics Which, good, because as much as I love the fandom, once again women don't exactly come out on top. How many are still alive at the end? I can think of one previously Jin sect lady, but that's it on top of my head, soooo. - Libitina also has posted a lot of mdzs fic recs dw - A "they're students in lockdown and socially distancing" WangXian ficlet tumblr by besanii And bonus: a capybara enjoying a good scritch because I love those dog-sized guinea pigs, seriously, that twitter account is my daily dose of cuteness Also, have some guinea pig on a cutesy bridge PS: I thought that this would be fast because I didn't have that much info to collect at one place, buuuut. It's been 5 hours and it turns out that I did lol. Still, if you have anything else of potential interest, don't hesitate to leave a comment, please :D

#the untamed #resource #dreamwidth blog post #writer info #references

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pisati · 5 years

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this came up on timehop almost a week ago.

I’ve known for years that I have depression. I had my suspicions when I was 17, but thinking back, I was showing signs at 12-13. possibly even earlier. I recall an old social media post from that age, maybe an email or a blog post, clarifying to a friend that I didn’t want to die, I just wanted to sleep and not wake up for a long time. I can’t remember much farther back than that. I was always an emotionally volatile person-- I felt things so deeply even at a young age. my first guinea pig died when I was 8 or 9 and it took me years to get over. I wish someone would’ve noticed sooner. dad had his suspicions too, but he also tried to tell my mom she was depressed and medicate her without her knowledge, so. nobody really took him seriously. he wasn’t wrong, but he definitely went about that the wrong way.

there’s no point regretting, though, I guess. I couldn’t have known what to look for, I was a child. my mom only recently realized that her mother has had schizophrenia her whole life, after my brother did acid and it snapped something in his brain. some of the things he did and said reminded her eerily of her mother. she couldn’t recognize depression in herself, how was she ever going to recognize it in me?

from where I’m at now... I can’t believe I got through feeling the way I did. kind of like when I look back on those few years of my life when my anxiety got so bad-- I had no idea how I survived it. I wasn’t sure if I ever could again.

I felt so bad before I graduated high school. there are pictures of my graduating class sitting on the bleachers outside, me sitting on the far left edge, by myself. either Charlotte wasn’t there that day or she’d wanted to be with other friends. I didn’t really know anyone around me. someone from yearbook pulled me out of class for an interview and told me they were talking to everyone who’d pulled some stunt or done something silly during the pictures (we had one kid who liked to dress up as Where’s Waldo, they interviewed him too). they asked me why, in every picture, I wasn’t looking at the camera. I told them I’d just been having a bad day, but I remember deliberately looking away during every one of those shots. I didn’t want a part of any of it. they made us sit for that picture, but I just wanted to be graduated already. gone. away from everyone there. I was so tired of being made to feel alone. barely opening my mouth all day, because Charlotte would leave me for other friends, and the few other people I knew did the same. I didn’t go in bitter; I probably tried a little too hard to make friends when I moved there. it took so many years of being forgotten and passed over to make me that tired.

that was also the time when I would forego lunch on A-days to go straight to my AP lit classroom. sometimes I’d eat there, sometimes I wouldn’t. I was tired of sitting with my friend who wanted to sit with these popular girls who were lowkey super rude to me for literally no reason- I didn’t even know them. I felt like I knew the pattern on every floor tile in that school, but especially the tiles in front of my desk in AP lit. I couldn’t even look up from the floor. and nobody fucking noticed. I mean, my AP lit teacher did. I’ll always, always be grateful for her. I’m just sad that I couldn’t be there for myself. I wish people were more educated about mental illness back then, that someone would’ve intervened. maybe it wouldn’t have gotten so bad.

when my anxiety got so bad I prayed that I’d *only* have depression again. it was so much easier to deal with. I don’t remember my depression being so bad my first two years of college; either it was drowned out by the anxiety or it actually did help to have good friends. but once I transferred and the anxiety dissipated, it came back full-force.

when I was in high school, I remember being afraid to look at electrical cords. I’d picture them wrapped around my neck. once during a bad episode I got up and wrapped the cord from my blinds around my neck and pulled, hard. it scared me so bad I fell onto my bed and cried harder. I didn’t want to die, I just wanted the hurt to stop. when I got into my car accident senior year... it was midterms week. I’d joked that maybe since I almost died in a car wreck that I’d be excused from my physics midterm. but I remember that night, after I got home from the hospital, curling up in the shower and sobbing. for months I thought I wanted to disappear, but when I brushed that close to death it was absolutely terrifying. I’d never felt so grateful to feel water pouring down on my back. I felt so horribly alive. I walked to my physics class the next day and joked with a kid outside, to maybe a few concerned looks, about just being in the hospital. I took the exam. a boy I rarely talked to came up to me, wide-eyed, outside my locker, and asked if I was okay. he’d heard from my brother.

sometimes, alone in my apartment in college, I’d picture the tau sigma and golden key honor cords I had tucked away in a drawer-- I wasn’t sure why they gave them to me so soon, but I needed a safe place to keep them til graduation. I pictured them wrapped around a door handle-- wondered how long it’d take for someone to notice I hadn’t been around. what a metaphor, too; strangled by achievement. grim, maybe a little too poetic. I tossed the idea, but the feeling didn’t quite leave.

the summer after I graduated college, I’d lost maybe 15lbs. I was too sad to get out of bed or even eat. A had given me his facebook password and told me to change it so he couldn’t log back in-- he was so tired of social media at the time and I understood. but later when I had my suspicions about a girl, I did something very uncharacteristic. I glanced through his messages with a mutual friend. he’d used the word “girlfriend”. he was red and she was blue and they were just purpling. I cried so hard I nearly had a panic attack and almost passed out on my floor. what was I ever? how can you be that close to someone and still be so easily cast aside? it took me a while to be able to eat Uncle Ben’s microwave rice again. it already tastes unnatural from all the preservatives, but the papery taste reminded me how much I wanted to die; how much food tasted like nothing and nothing felt good. I’d lie on my floor and cry, just trying to get the bad feelings out; I have vivid memories of Warpaint’s Today Dear paired with the blankness of my ceiling, the smoke detector and ceiling fan hardware cover breaking the emptiness. the feeling of damp carpet pressed into the side of my face, City & Colour’s Blood pouring into my ears.

I’ve given you more than I’m worth I want to dig my fingers into the earth I know there’s beauty buried beneath...

we were walking around DC that december, trying to keep warm while waiting for my mom to pick us up after a show that ended after metro hours. he told me everything that happened. she was a head case. so was the next one, I later learned. but by then it just felt like something broke. I just didn’t have the capacity to hurt anymore. I was at my last job, I was miserable, I was emotionally beat up. that was when it started to feel like being dragged facedown through gravel. even the little things I did-- volunteering, trying to work on crafts, playing with my rats-- didn’t seem to make anything any better.

I have a lot of memories from floors. I reblogged a quote yesterday about crying and noticing the paint on the wall trim; once you’ve been on the floor so many times it just gets old. the absurdity of it all. kind of like that time I was lying in bed, crying over my dad having passed (maybe a few months before at that point), and I suddenly heard my brother ripping a loud, forced fart in the other room. I couldn’t help laughing. what even is anything?

it was so hard to see any kind of light at the end of the tunnel. if there even was a tunnel, or if that just was how things were. I remember myself curling into the back cushions of the couch in my apartment in college, both wishing it were another person and feeling repulsed at the thought. trying to avoid becoming acutely aware of the quiet. I think even then I had some vague knowledge, maybe more of a rote script, that eventually it would be okay. one day, something would give. but I didn’t feel it. people could tell me all they wanted, I could tell myself til I ran out of breath, but I wouldn’t believe it til I felt it.

some days do still feel like I’m dragging myself through them. but looking back... it’s nowhere near as bad. sometimes I still get hit with the melancholy-- I’m not expecting not to, for the record. nobody can feel 100% all the time, it’s impossible. but I wish I could go back and somehow place this feeling in my brain all those times I needed it. I don’t even know if I can say I’m “back to where I used to be”, because I don’t even think I know myself without depression. it’ll probably always be a part of me. but sometimes I think about where I’m at and where I have the potential to go from here, and I just want to cry. but not in the bad way. it’s relief. so much relief.

there’s no one thing that did it. there’s nothing that magically whisked the dragged-face-down-through-gravel feeling away. I didn’t get out of bed one day feeling better. it’s been a process and it continues to be a process. but I think this was what I wanted to feel back then. just the ability to be hopeful. to feel like things might work out.

I did really have a rough go of it last year. I was already depressed as hell from being emotionally beat up by stupid boys, having to be stuck far away from friends, and having that miserable job. then I lost two pets, my grandpa, and my dad. lost my job. I can’t even hardly remember the last two and a half years of my life, if I’m honest.

maybe it’s my job and the demands it has of me, but I feel like my memory has been improving the tiniest bit. just a little. I still have a piss-poor sense of time, and my insomnia has been ruining my functioning. I don’t know why odd-numbered years have been slightly better for me than even-numbered years, but it’s definitely a pattern. 2013 was good, 2014 was good for the first half, then came the worst summer of my life and the roughest christmas/new years I’ve ever had, 2015 was pretty good, 2016 was rough, 2017 was good for the first half and shitty for the second, 2018 was straight garbage, and 2019 has... honestly been pretty good. I got over half the year off work. I got to travel. I lost some pets, but I got lovely new ones too. I had the time for crafts, the time to write. I met some really wonderful people. I got to volunteer, and I got a new job that’s showing me what work should feel like. it’s opening doors for me for the future; I’m even beginning to see a possible future for myself in animal care. I’m taking better care of myself, I’m determined to get to the root of my autoimmune weirdness, and I’m finally going to move out again. I’m going to end this year on a good note, even if I end up staying home by myself for the holidays.

I keep talking about it, but I think it’s worth talking about. I’m excited to see how much better this can get. I won’t get my hopes up, but I’m grateful for every little bit of improvement I make with myself. I want to be a mental illness success story. maybe it’ll be with me forever, but I’m learning to let the little things work. got myself colorful gel pens for work. I’ll draw smiley faces on notes. I wear animal-print socks almost every day. picked out patterns for scrub shirts that I like, that I can wear every day, that make me happy. bought little things for myself at the store, just because I like them. it doesn’t feel like going through the motions anymore. not all the time, anyway.

it took me somewhere around 5 years to see the light at the end of the trauma tunnel, and I wasn’t sure I would. I’ve had depression likely for well over 12 years-- I never would have dreamed that one day I’d be fighting it and very slowly winning. I’m proud of myself now, for sure, but I’m even prouder of my past selves. for all the times I found myself on the floor, I always got up. for all the times I was too sad to eat, I made sure I ate something anyway. for all the times I wanted to wrap a cord around my neck or claw at my own forearms or veer into oncoming traffic... I put on music. I turned on a show. I scrolled tumblr. I cuddled a rat. I cried it out if I had to. I didn’t turn to drugs or alcohol or self-harm (well. physical anyway). I’m strong as hell and I always have been. I’m grateful for that too.

#blah blah #thoughts #reflections #timehop has me feeling weird lately #weird as in. it's weird to look back and feel so different

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our-heroes-rise · 6 years

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Some relationship hcs to start off with ;)))

I have a hard time writing characters in character hah so hopefully this is to someone’s liking 💖

Bakugou:

He can be a real sweetheart, but it’s a rare occurrence.

Actually pays a lot of attention to what your conversations are about so he can learn more about what you like, specifically things he can get you

For no real reason he showed up at school one day with all your favorite candies/foods, dumped them on your desk without a word, then sat in his own seat

From that day forward no one dared to even breathe wrong around you, as if some silent declaration had been said. Which in truth, you supposed it had been. It was as if he had said “They’re with me don’t fuck with them or I’ll blow you into tiny bits.”

He’s an amazing cook and you love everything he makes

Constantly tries to cook for you every chance he gets then brings it over to your dorm

His parents actually like you a lot. During breaks when you go to visit them his mom is constantly praising you for having the patience to deal with her “brat.”

Likes to have simple stay in dates where you guys can lay on the couch in the common together and watch every Marvel movie he has. The others will sometimes join in, but he doesn’t mind as long as you’re next to him.

There was one time you fell asleep on his chest and he literally had no fucking clue what to do, other than accept his fate. He pulled you closer to him and fell asleep with you.

No one bothered to wake you guys up once they were done watching movies, but a few of the girls did take pictures of you guys. Then later posted it on twitter, instagram, and snapchat with the tag #goals.

He was completely embarrassed when he found out but the damage had already been done, there was nothing he could do about it, especially since you wouldn’t let him do anything about it.

You thought they were cute pictures, you even made one of them the wallpaper for your phone. He blushes every time he sees it.

Todoroki:

Does this thing where he comes up behind you and wraps his arms around you then rests his head on the top of your head/shoulder, no matter who you’re around, and just kinda silently stands with you.

It’s the cutest damn thing in the world once you get used to it, sometimes you’re even able to predict when he’s about to sneak up on you.

As far as public affection goes he doesn’t do much other than give you small kisses on your cheek or temple, maybe even a few on your lips if you’re lucky.

Most times you’re not though, because whenever you’re receiving those kisses is during training when he’s trying to distract you so he can win a practice match. Sometimes it works if he’s quick enough and sometimes it severely backfires

like when you’re able to grab him by the front of his shirt and pull him back into his kiss, full force, all teeth and tongue

Aizawa basically screams at you two to get a damn room and out of the arena while nearly the entire class bursts into cheers and wolf whistles

He’s left completely flustered which then allows for you to win the practice match easily

During the winter he’s like a giant furness. If you happen to be out side for training on a really cold day, and you’re not in the areana or doing anything yet, he’ll do the hug thing and keep you warm until it’s your turn to participate.

Surprisingly the most talkative person you’ve ever met, but only with you and a few others. He could literally talk your ear off.

You once asked him if he could control his quirk enough to form a specific shape with it. He gave a small smile, holding out his hand, where a small flickering flame of a heart appeared in the center of his palm.

“You never fail to set my heart on fire.”

That was something new he started doing too. Creating temporary things from both ice and flame that only lasted while he was in distance of it, or until it melted. The crystallized roses he left on your desk were your favorite.

Uraraka:

Loves hugs so damn much, especially from you, she thinks your hugs are the best in the world

Like to embarrass you in class by finding any objects she can, make them float, then arrange them in mid air to spell out your name with a small heart next to it so the entire class can see.

She gets really excited when she gets to watch you train because she likes to cheer you on and see how much you’ve improved with your quirk

You can count on her to be the loudest one on the sidelines, don’t underestimate her voice range. Has no chill. But still the best cheer leader you could ever ask for. Like she could honestly give Bakugou a run for his money.

“THAT’S MY BABE! YEAH KICK KIRISHIMA’S ASS! WOOOOOO! I️ LOVE YOU SO MUCH!”

She’s really good at baking, but she likes to experiment with things, and by default you’re her guinea pig. You haven’t come in contact with anything too bad yet, most of her creations have actually been pretty good, but there are some that could use some work.

You guys enjoy long car trips to no where in particular, just you guys and the open road

It’s strange how you guys have almost the exact same taste in music, so whenever you’re alone in the car together you guys blast your favorite songs and scream the lyrics at the top of your lungs

When you’re out on dates she prefers to hold your hand because she claims it’s hard to walk right when her arm is wrapped around you or vice versa

When you tell her that you’re struggling with a subject she will stay up all night with you to help you study and go over the material so she can make sure you understand what you’re learning. If even she doesn’t get it she’l find someone to help you who does.

Loves receiving and giving piggie back rides, especially since she can make herself and you lighter if she has to

Cuddles and butterfly kisses all day, she could never get tired of them

#bnha #bnha headcanons #katsuki bakugou #bakugou headcanons #shoto todoroki #todoroki headcanons #ochaco uraraka #uraraka headcanons

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

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Survey #301

“i was waiting for my chance to find the light”

Did you like the beach a lot more as a kid more than you do now? Why/Why not? I did. Everything was more fun as a kid. I never REALLY loved it, though, because I did and still do hate the heat and walking through sand and getting it stuck all over you. It's pretty much torture now because I have extreme difficulty walking through sand. Has there ever been a time where you just couldn't stop crying? Explain. I know I've had days many years ago when my PTSD was truly awful where I'd sob multiple times a day. What's your least favorite time of day? Why don't you like that time?Late afternoon, like around 3-4 or so. By that point I'm usually bored senseless and going downhill. Do you like your lips? Do you enjoy kissing? They're fine, ig. And I mean yeah, if I'm really into the person? Do you like any music from the American Idols? Which ones? Ngl, I don't even remember any besides Kelly Clarkson, and who the FUCK doesn't like "Breakaway." Do you like when people challenge you? If so, in what? No, I get nervous about embarrassing myself. Personally for you, is falling for someone way beyond your control? It is entirely out of my control. What's something other than a fruit that you love in milkshakes? (Ex.twix ) Mostly chocolate stuff, haha. What is your all time FAVORITE milkshake? Ever tried the Reese's Blast from Sonic? That's some A+ shit. What's the latest you've ever stayed up reading a book? No clue. When having a peanut butter & jam sandwich, what is the best kind of jam? Grape. Do you like to write poetry? Yeah, but it's been a long time since I wrote anything. I used to do it aaall the time, but now I have to be seriously motivated and dedicated to the idea. When you get mad do you cry? Absolutely. Would you ever consider modeling? No. I do think one or two model-esque photos of myself would be nice and possibly help my self-confidence, but it's not something I'm seeking out and paying for. Are you scared of crossing bridges? Not very, no. If they're kinda sketchy-looking, I might feel a tad tense, but I'm not really scared of them. Would you consider yourself clumsy? I am unfuckingbelievably clumsy. Ever bought ice cream from an ice cream truck? Yeah, sometimes Mom would let me and my sisters do that as kids when one came through our neighborhood. Have you ever had a poem or story published? No. If you had/have a kid would you ever let them get a tattoo? If they were of the appropriate age, of course. And if they were getting it done professionally and not at some party drunk with friends. They better be in a sterile environment with someone who knows what they're doing. Do you love guinea pigs? Absolutely. I had three or four as pets when I was a kid. What is the worst thing you ever did that got you grounded? Probably run away from home. Have you ever been chased by a snake? No... and this is a misconception. Snakes don't chase. They go for what they see as the safest escape route, and sometimes they identify your own chosen direction as where they wanted to head, too. Where do you wanna work? I want to be a freelance photographer. What awards have you won? A lot of "A honor roll" trophies through school, among other academic awards. I seriously don't know what happened to that intelligence. I also have dance awards and lots of childhood sports team stuff. Would you consider yourself good at taking care of kids? I don't think I am, no. I'm way too nervous and awkward around kids. I've had to babysit for my sister twice though, and Ashley told me the kids had lots of fun and had no complaints. I guess like... I can do it, I am just very, very uncomfortable taking kids under my wing. I worry about leading them in the wrong direction. How old would a guy have to be before you wouldn't date them? I don't know, it would really depend on how much I was into the person. I generally stick with the approximation of a ten year gap though being my limit, so I think maybe him being in his mid-30s would make me feel a bit too weird. Be honest, have you ever tried weed? No, but quite honestly, I'd probably try an edible. I refuse to smoke anything for my lungs' sake. I'm curious if medical marijuana would actually be beneficial for me. Has anyone ever broken up with you with a note? No, but uh... I have, lol. It's how I broke up with my "puppy-dog love" boyfriend in middle school. Literally after he asked me if I was thinking of breaking up with him, and I said no before handing him the note because I was just too scared to do it to his face. I know, that was absolutely awful. Never, ever do that to the most innocent boy ever, kids. He didn't deserve that. Do you have sensitive teeth? Kinda. What was the worst thing you ever did to get detention/suspended? I've only ever had detention once for having too many tardies to my first class of the day in high school. We'd frequently arrive to school just a few minutes late because I was fucking impossible to drag out of bed. Have you ever suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder? Yes. Do you suffer from nasal allergies? Yes. What's your favorite kind of pudding? I only really like chocolate pudding. Have you done anything really interesting lately? I guess you could consider starting a virtual partial hospitalization program "interesting." It's not the intensive version like my first was, but rather being shorter. I just really need something to get my mental health back on the tracks. What’s the latest really fun thing you’ve done? REALLY fun? Hell if I know. I don't experience "fun" a lot at all anymore... I only ever feel like, this watered down, unenthusiastic sorry excuse for it. Have you discovered any good music lately? Oh yeah, I've found lots of 3TEETH songs I'm mad into. "ULTRAnumb" by Blue Stahli is also a total bop. How about any good new television shows? No. Or perhaps some interesting books? Nothing new, no. Have you picked up a new hobby or learned a new skill? I mean, within what timespan? Nothing lately, really. Has anybody ever done your makeup for you? Yeah. Do you own any sparkly items of clothing? No. What’s the most colorful accessory you own and use? *shrug* Do you enjoy drag artists’ work? If so, name some of your favorites. Oh yes, I have wild respect for drag queens. I don't know enough of them to have a fair favorite, but I do watch Trixie Mattel on YouTube and he is a goddamn hoot. What, right now, is the best thing in your life? Um. I don't really know. Probably the fact my mother still lets my too-big-for-the-nest ass to live with her... I don't want to picture how my life would be if I didn't have her still essentially holding my hand. What’s a place you like to go to when you need to get away for a bit? I actually love car rides for this, so long as I can ride passenger and just blare my music and not talk. It's so odd, being afraid of driving but finding great freedom and comfort in just... going. Do you like apples? I love apples. Anything exciting coming up for you in the near future? I paid the deposit for my tattoo appointment, so it was officially scheduled in May!! I was expecting an open date to be kinda far with just how amazing this parlor is, so I wasn't too shocked to hear I have to wait a few months, but man I can hardly wait. When you get an account for something, what's the first username you try? Unless it's for a "professional" site, in which case I'd use my actual name, I just about without fail with use "Ozzkat," or replace the "o" with a zero if that's somehow taken. Would you be okay with a friend wanting to date one of your exes? Which ex? What kind of accent do people typically have where you're from? Southern. Does history interest you at all? Can't say it does. What's something you wish you could do-over? There are many things, man. Is your hair in layers or is it all the same length? Neither, really. The left side of my head is very short/shaved, and as the hair goes around to the right, it gets longer. There aren't "layers," though. Is there anyone who you're afraid to be in a car with, if they're driving? I wouldn't say afraid, but with my sister's road rage and serious tail-gating issue, riding with her can make me nervous. What's something you're very good at? Um, I guess creative writing. Do you like sour gummy worms? oh FUCK yeah Would you pick up a hitchhiker if they seemed harmless? No. I am way too paranoid for that shit. Would you be bothered if your boyfriend liked to bite you? Uhhh I'm going to assume you mean this in a sexual context, in which case I don't care so long as it's not in a visible spot. How often do you get the opportunity to be completely alone? The answer used to be a shitload, and seeing as I'm in my room most of the time, I still feel like that's kind of true, but since Mom's cancer diagnosis and she had to stop working, she's usually home with me. I like it that way, though. Total isolation is bad for me. Do you have a trampoline? Nah, haven't in many years. What's your favorite Pixar movie? Finding Nemo. What is the strangest thing you've been asked? Something sexual that made me extremely uncomfortable. What’s the weirdest thing about life that people just accept as normal? The fact we put so much worth into pieces of green paper. What's the most random thing you've done out of boredom? *shrug* What show did your parents not let you watch as a kid? There weren't any specific shows that we even wanted to watch that Mom forbade us to see... I mean she certainly wouldn't let my sisters and I watch something like South Park as little kids, but none of us really sought unsuitable shows out. We were all about Disney, Nick, and Animal Planet in my case. What is the most pleasurable feeling that doesn't involve anything sexual? What comes to mind first is a big hug from someone who makes you feel safe when you don't anywhere else. What was your last "oops, wrong person" moment? I'm going to assume I sent somebody a text meant for another person. I'm super careful about avoiding stuff like this because I get horribly embarrassed, so it's difficult to recall the last time I slipped up. What do you find attractive that isn't considered "normal" attraction? Having a broad imagination and drive to create. What’s the dumbest thing you’ve done drunk? N/A What's something you really enjoy, but can't have? A pet tarantula because Mom refuses to let me lmao. I'm so into them now and desperately want a Grammastola pulchra. What Wikipedia article have you recently read? I haven't read any recently. What subject should be taught at schools, but isn't? Basic adulting and financial skills. What is the worst game you've ever played? I dunno. I've played sooooo many video games throughout my life. What tragic event was coincidentally beneficial to you? My overdose because it led to an intensive partial hospitalization program that totally changed my life. What did you think was cool when you were younger that you now think isn’t? Good question... What are your favorite or most memorable lines from any movie/show? I vaguely remember the concepts of some quotes, but not well enough to recite them. None that are seriously memorable or heavy pop up in my head now. What's a good example of 'Don't knock it till you try it'? Putting peanut butter on top of waffles with syrup. It is fucking delicious. What's your go-to get pumped up song? 5FDP's cover of "Mama Said Knock You Out" is badass HYPE. What's the dumbest thing your parents have said or done? Well, through a family assessment before my current partial hospitalization could begin, I very recently learned my dad fucking did drugs before my sisters and I were born, including shit like cocaine. That was great to suddenly learn. As for my mom... probably have a kid too young? She doesn't talk very much about her eldest daughter's history with (and without) her, but I know enough to know that was a very rocky time in her life. What are some things you wish existed? Cures for countless illnesses, and I also have SUUUUUCH a yearning for some kind of technology that could copy an image in your head onto a drawing device. If only I could draw how/what I see up there... Which person shaped you the most? Jason. Or Mom. What’s the one movie you couldn’t finish? Why? Couldn't tell you; I just haven't watched enough. What's a small thing you have a big passion for? Meerkats, quite literally with "small" lmao. What change have you made recently to help the environment? I have metal straws I try to remember to bring with me if I go out to eat. What was the hardest thing you've ever had to forgive? The way Jason left. Is there anything or anyone you're angry at, that you haven't forgiven yet? I sometimes question if I truly have forgiven Jason. I lean kinda heavily towards yes, I have, I'm just bitter about it all regardless. Have you ever plotted revenge against someone? No. Have you ever done anything to get revenge against someone? I can't think of anything off the top of my head. What is the greatest longing of your heart? To feel purpose. Who was your first love? Some guy in high school who "had" to talk to me upon seeing me the first time, only to wind up wanting to hear nothing from me later on down the line. What denomination is your church (if you go)? N/A What was the first year you voted in a presidential election? This most recent election, actually. Have you ever been afraid of the world ending? I used to worry it would happen in my lifetime, but now I don't. If it ends, it ends. I ain't got much to lose nowadays. What is unfair about your life? My mental health. My financial position. I'd rather not focus on the billion shitty things going on in my life rn, so next question. Did you write love poems when you were younger? ugh Who are you jealous of and why? There's a lot of people I'm in some way envious of, honestly. Have you ever had an account of yours hacked? Yes. Thankfully nothing major happened. Have you ever been a victim of police misconduct? No.

#survey #surveys #questions #questionnaire #lyrics: ''creatures x: to the grave'' by motionless in white

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