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#era: instinct part 2
blumineck · 2 months
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hi! you're great I love your work! I've got a weirdly specific archery question and thought I'd send it to you in case you'd find it fun to have a crack at
say you're an expert archer originally from Vietnam sometime in the late bronze age. say you're a super duper expert archer because it turns out you're immortal, and so you do your archery across Eurasia through the first millennium BCE and the first millennium CE and into the age where gunpowder weapons are evolving into cannons. that's a long time to be alive and you do lots of hunting and fighting with all kinds of bows and shooting styles, especially war archery on horseback. then you're out of the picture for a while, let's say you're peacefully sleeping for a handful of centuries. (this is about Quynh from The Old Guard who alas was not peacefully sleeping)
all of a sudden you blink and you've gone from the era where firearms were just starting to develop and maybe with this new flintlock thing guns could eventually get good enough to rival a bow and arrows— bam, now you're in the 21st century. what kinds of modern archery tech would you be most excited to try out? what would you think of a compound bow? Olympic style archery? plastic fletching?? how about the modern reproductions of what are now considered historical bows and shooting styles? is there anything about 21st century archery that you'd want to rant about at length? other opinions about these newfangled takes on your trusty old bow and arrows you care to share?
This is a phenomenal question, and thank you for asking it! Here’s my 2 cents:
The thing about modern archery is that for the most part, modern bows are designed to make it easier to be accurate, to the stage that modern target accuracy is probably better than it’s ever been historically.
BUT, if we assume Quynh is capable of feats of archery that match the level of melee combat skill that e.g. Andy has, then she doesn’t NEED it to be easier to be accurate.
My guess is that someone like her would actually find most modern archery developments needlessly slow and awkward. Compound bows and Olympic recurves are NOT designed for instinctive, fast shooting, and would probably feel quite restrictive once she got over how easy they made accuracy.
BUT, I imagine she would be blown away by the range and arrow speed that modern bows can generate, and there are some recurves (and at least one compound bow), that have been designed to make use of the efficiency of modern materials and bow design, while still allowing traditional shooting styles, and those, THOSE are something an ancient immortal archer might fall in love with! (FWIW, my own go-to is a horsebow made with carbon-fibre limbs and a modern limb profile, and for impact energy it can match some traditional bows with a draw weight that’s 50% greater. The Oneida eagle compound could trump that).
So yeah, it might take her a bit, but once she gets her hands on the right equipment, she’d be (even more) TERRIFYING!
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ceruleanchillin · 3 months
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141 x Reader: Biker!AU
Note(s) -
1.) Nobody asked for this, but here I am combining two obsessions. Congrats, you’re a biker’s old lady now 🎉.
Any media with hot guys in a group should have outlaw MC AUs
2.) I love roughneck Simon. Please give me more of him. I wanna talk about the guys in this AU so badly, don’t (DO) feed my inbox. BlueCollar!Simon, Mafia!Simon, Mechanic!Simon, Idc I love it all. 
3.) If you saw this before, no you didn’t (plus I added more to it). I decided to keep them all together, and it’ll just be long as hell. A long fic stored under a cut never hurt nobody.🤷🏾‍♀️
Simon
Nobody can get him as soft as you. There’s a 3-ringed barrier around his heart. Outsiders < The Club < You.
He loves doing mundane things with you, the kind of things he never saw for himself when he swore to stay single in this life. Like, after a good run fattens his wallet, letting you run wild in the shops.
“C’mon on then lovie, give us a spin.”
You squealed, spinning so the soft fabric fanned around your upper thighs. “I love it! But Si, it’s too much.”
“You let me worry about that sweetheart. Just let me see how it looks comin’ offa ya.” He gripped the very thighs you teased him with, eager for his favorite part besides your smile.
He’d pick up as many extra runs as it took to keep you in small luxuries, as long as he was the one that got to keep that look on your face.
They all have tattoos, but Simon is the king. His body art is top notch, because he’s very discerning with his artists. He’s had the best from Europe to the States. Now, he only trusts Price’s old lady, Johnny, and you. 
In fact, that’s how you met. You started your apprenticeship under an asshole who bailed before it was over, and took a chance on the dangerous shop everyone warned you away from. Mrs. Price was everything you were afraid of AT FIRST. You later understood it was because the shop is 141 affiliated, and she had to be harshly discerning to protect herself and her family.
Once you got over that phase, she was unendingly sweet, and dedicated to helping you hone your craft. 
Simon saw you when he came to fix the sink in the shop’s little kitchen. You were the only one there, intensely focused on a practice skin arm.
You were beautiful, hair wild from you tugging at in concentration, and your tongue poking out slightly. How long had you been working here?
“I knew you needed a hand around here, but that’s a bit far isn’t it?”
You jumped, startled out of your practice, the buzz of the tattoo gun stopping. “Oh my god! I don’t know what scared me more, you, or that joke.”
The two of you kept each other company in your respective tasks, until he was done. In admitting you were aching to do a real tattoo again, he found himself volunteering on instinct. 
At first you resisted, worried about the ethics in your mentor’s shop, and he came up with the genius idea of going back to your place. Smooth Simon.
By the end of the night he was sure he’d never need another artist again.
He’s often as busy as Price, sometimes more so. It takes a lot to run a charter as is, but to establish a table so far from home calls on him more than any other era in his time with the club. On top of that, he often pulls double duty, acting as an enforcer with Konig.
That’s where he really appreciates you understanding, and accepting, his lifestyle. You’ve made a home for him, and he only hopes he conveys how much he appreciates that.
He comes home with a headache taking up residence in every corner of his head more and more these days. It was all he could do to kick his boots off, and not collapse on the nearest thing that could hold his weight. His room felt miles away. Downside of living in the dorms.
He drug himself to the clubhouse kitchen, prepared to dig around for some painkillers, when he saw a post-it note on the island next to a napkin with two pills.
Ignore if not Si!
Dinner in the fridge + cake in the dish on the counter. Eat and get your ass in bed with me.
:)
He chuckled, headache long forgotten when he realized you were in his bed. However, his heart and stomach wouldn’t let him ignore the home cooked meal in the fridge, and once he’d savored every bite, he was a blur on his way to his room.
You were curled up in one of his shirts, sleeping soundly on the side of the bed he favored. He stripped, leaving his clothes on the floor, only stopping to deposit his kutte on the dresser, before scooping you into his arms.
“Si..” you murmured sleepily, burying your face in his chest, seeking something to lay on after being picked up.
“‘s alright sweet pea.”
“Glad you’re home, don’t let go.” You were slightly more awake now, but not by much.
“Was never an option.” He got into bed, relaxing in the warm spot you left behind, and situated you next to him in his arms. 
Assuming big spoon position, his hands roamed your form, finding momentary purchase wherever they could. He felt a little guilty for further waking you up, but it occurred to him that you must have seen the day he’d had, and had taken the time to attempt to make it a little better. You could be home in your own bed, but you chose to be there for him. He was starving for you.
His lips created the same desperate patterns across your cheek and neck that his hands created on your body. He gripped your thigh, giving the plush skin a squeeze, before hooking your leg back over his.
There was a sharp inhale of air from you, and you pushed back against him, undoubtedly feeling him firming.
He laid his other arm under your head, letting you lay your cheek against his arm as he grasped your face. He tilted it up to grant more access to your skin for his lips.
“Taking care of me pretty bird?”
“It’s what you deserve, baby.” You slurred, squirming in sensory overload at all of his attention.
“Swear m’ going flat hunting tomorrow.” His fingers skimmed over your covered heat, grinning when your lower half bucked.
“‘s what you deserve sweetheart. Somewhere to put all your nesting to good use.”
You moaned rolling your hips back into your solid wall of a man. “Don’t tease me, I can’t help it.”
“Oh, m’not teasing pretty bird, m’ appreciating.”
He’s been called on to do many dark things for the club. Price doesn’t leave room at the table for anyone not to pull their weight, and he’s even tougher on his titled men. However, the darker jobs fall on Simon more often than anyone else, because he’s thorough, and can put the deed away somewhere, somehow, every time. 
When he pulls on his mask, and just surrenders to being no one but Ghost, he’s ready to work. He never cared what anyone thought about his actions, he never had to, until you. 
You’d been around rough crowds in your lifetime, but Simon was a career criminal, and so was his found family. He was sure some recollection of his deeds would reach you, and that’d be your line. In fact, he was waiting on it.
He was shocked, truly floored, to find that wasn’t what triggered you. It was how you felt he was being utilized. You didn’t like, what you felt, was the unequal distribution of the extreme jobs, and you told him as much.
When he got over his shock, his reaction was fiercely defensive of the club. It was your turn for shock, but he couldn’t help it. He felt judged about the family that owned his loyalty, by the woman that owned his heart. 
You were taken aback by his ferocity, but it didn’t change your view. It created a hotbed of tension that threatened what the two of you had built, until he understood why you felt so strongly. Simon was the one taken aback when he realized your intensity came from your love for him, not a judgement of the 141. He still couldn’t wrap his head around someone loving him to that degree. In his heart of hearts, he didn’t think he was worthy of that. That’s how he was supposed to, and did, love you.
He admitted as much when the tired topic reached a fever pitch.
Simon’s close cropped blonde hair was riddled with evidence he’d been running long, frustrated fingers through it. Those same fingers pulled a cigarette from his pack,, and lit it with a calmness that didn’t reflect the current mood.
“So now you tell me what I can and can’t do? That it then?”
You snapped at the accusation, breaking the promise you’d made to yourself not to raise your voice. “I’m not telling you what you can and can’t do, stop reframing what I fucking say!”
“Grow the fuck up, you’re not a bloody baby. You knew what I did when we got together. I protect the group, I’m meant to be the first line of defense. I pull my weight, my life be damned!”
Your eyes widened in shock at the underlying implication of his words. His own expression wasn’t familiar enough to you for you to place.
“The table doesn’t make me do the ugly bits, most times I volunteer.” He flicked ash onto the pavement, his finger tapping with more force than necessary. “Whether I die, or get pinched, I can be replaced. ‘s my job to stand in front of the ones that can’t.”
His chest heaved with trapped frustration, voice guttural, raw with emotion. “That’s my use.”
You couldn’t place a time where your heart had ever hurt for anyone the way it hurt for him in that moment. It was a physical pain, pin pricking across your chest in a wave, and momentarily halting your ability to speak. You loved this man, fuck the moon, he hung galaxies in your eyes, and that’s what he thought of himself?
Simon, studying your expression and not liking the shame it made him feel, turned away. He didn’t know what to do with shame, especially in front of you. He’d said too much, and his mind was racing to find a way to undo it. Stiffening at the feeling of your arms barely meeting around his large form, he fought the urge to pull away.
Your voice was shaky, laden with the tears you didn’t bother fighting the fruitless fight to stop. “I wish I could get you to understand how untrue that is. I wish I knew where to start.”
He turned back around, but refused to meet your eyes. That startled you. Simon had never been afraid to lock eyes with you. He backed down from no one.
“Wasn’t an answer you liked then lovie? Sorry to disappoint.” He said quietly, taking a last drag before he ended the cigarette under his boot, and walked off back towards the clubhouse.
Tears streamed down your face at a faster rate now, and you tried in vain to swipe them away quickly. You weren’t sure what to say. Not then, too much was in the air as it was, and things needed to cool, but this clearly wasn’t settled
You only knew what you wanted to do. Hold him. Hold him until he saw how fucked his outlook was, and how much worth he really had.
Long out of town rides to create a bubble with just you and him. No specific destination, you just ride until you can both believe you’re the only two people you know.
He throws you a surprise party when you get certified as a tattoo artist, and Mrs. Price releases you from your apprenticeship to a chair of your own.
No one can believe Ghost is throwing someone any kind of party, but they don’t dare deny him as he enlists them in different tasks. He took the whole thing very seriously, and left no room for mistakes. No one, not even Soap, was careless enough to spoil the surprise. Simon wanted perfection.
It was obvious to anyone who watched his love struck gaze follow you when you were around, but if anyone doubted it before, they didn’t now. This man loves you.
Simon sometimes comes to you with a design he’s made for his next tattoo. It’s never elaborate, and it’s usually more utilitarian than aesthetic. He trusts you to make it pretty, he knows you will. He just wants to better convey his idea, or so you think.
In reality, he just likes when you praise him, and he can be part of your passion. He’s constantly amazed by your artistry, and humbled that you let him be a part of it. Essentially, you two collaborate on his tattoos in an undeniably intimate way.
He unceremoniously comes to you with a scrap of paper, something he’s sketched over the past few days.
“Somethin’ f’ya to look over when you get the chance.” He mutters before giving you a long kiss and leaving the shop.
You study the lines, shaky but serviceable, and the design clear. Your mind immediately began to think of ways to tie it into his existing tattoo’s style and his tastes. All the while, you kicked your feet, ecstatic that once again, the most complex person you knew was trusting you with this responsibility.
Si had some serious, high quality pieces on his body, and he thought enough of your hand to add to that.
Simon is usually more affectionate when you’re alone. In public, it’s mostly gliding fingers across your back, or a quick brush of his lips across your forehead. BUT, sometimes his intrusive thoughts win, and he has to slap your ass. This can happen anywhere, anytime.
You’re bent over the tattoo chair, disinfecting and scrubbing, and you swear you hear his hand cutting through air before you feel the smack.
“Si!”
“You put it there sweetheart.”
Shooting range dates. You’ve been judged by some of your more…conventional friends, but you’re a gun girlie (which turns Simon on like nothing he’s ever experienced), and you don’t care. They tried to make you feel like he was being inconsiderate taking you there. Meanwhile, it was damn near your demand.
Simon loves having friendly competitions, random kisses, and exchanging shitty jokes. Seeing you get excited, and engaging in a little tech/spec talk about a gun you love, gets Simon bricked up in 10 seconds flat.
You truly believe he’s taken you in hidden parts of the range more than either of your beds at this point.
Makes you keep track of football season when he’s away. Almost put you in a box and mailed you far away from him when you assumed he meant American football season.
“Don’t ever hurt me like that again lovie, I won’t be held responsible.”
Punishes you with edging and cockwarming if you miss any important details. It’s especially excruciating when he’s just returned, and all you want is him to stretch you out. Simon is a mean dom, and he won’t be moved by sympathy.
“Please Si, I only missed one game.” you whined, trying to get him to come back to where he’d just spent time building you up to fall on his tongue, only to pull away at the last second.
He smirked, rising to his feet which clued you into the fact that he really wasn’t going to finish you off then. “That’s a bad girl. Have the missing orgasm to match.”
——-
Gaz:
Lives for where you live. Your little house is his home away from home. Sometimes the gang can be on business that keeps them on the road for weeks, and the last thing he wants when he comes back, is to continue to be locked in close quarters with other guys.
That’s when you know he’s skipping clubhouse life to crash with you for a while. You love it as much as him.
Scented candles and incense, sweet laundry detergent, soft materials, home cooked meals. It’s such a soft juxtaposition to his previous journey. 
Your hands are all over him, soothing bruises and kissing him over in mapped out patterns only known to you.
Kyle may not know the difference between a single thing on your beauty table, or much about the things in your bathroom cabinets, but he knows he loves how it all smells/looks on you when he’s running his nose across your skin.
“Baby, I gotta get ready for work.” 
Kyle hummed in acknowledgement, but kept you pinned to the overstuffed couch, kissing your thighs in his own personal ritual. The two of you had been sequestered away for two days since he’d been back, but he still couldn’t get enough of you.
“Be good for me love, I won’t make you late.”
“Liar.” You giggled when he pinched you in retaliation. “If you do what it feels like you’re about to do, I won’t make it to the shop until noon.”
“Not a liar babe, you know that better than anyone else.” He pushed your knees up until they pressed against your chest. “I promise, you’ll be the first one there. Can’t say in what state though.”
Being the club secretary, it may seem like Kyle has the plushier job at the table. Wrong. He sees as much action as the other guys, and he likes to stay in shape. That’s fine by you, because you reap the benefits when you get to watch him working out at your place.
Kyle Garrick doing burpees and up-downs in your tiny backyard, clad in nothing but gray sweat shorts, and a thin gold chain against his chest, isn’t a sight that should be free. Yet, after Kyle has finished his mission of witnessing you walk funny at least once, it’s a sight you’re treated to when he sinks back into his home routine.
You somehow think you’re safe to creep-watch from the back doorway while you enjoy your green tea, even though Kyle catches you every time. He just always knew when your eyes were on him.
Without even turning to give you a look he called your name, laughing softly. “I should start charging admission.”
“I was thinking the same thing!” You stuck your tongue out at his back, slamming the door when he revealed he somehow saw that too.
Kyle comes to the salon and hangs with you between appointments. Sometimes he watches you work, and fake flirts with customers to get you more money. He’s great for business.
“Cost a little extra, yeah? But myself, I love a bird that sweats the details.” Kyle’s brown eyes and bright smile were a lethal combination against free will, you knew this for a fact.
The soccer mom in your chair ducks her head under his attention, cheeks filling in with red, as she tells you she changed her mind about the rhinestones.
You appreciate the efforts towards fattening your wallet, but sometimes he’s so effective, you get annoyed and drag him to the break room to remind him you own him.
When you ride with him, he loves looking down and seeing the pretty designs of your nails grasping his chest. Something about the contrast of hot pink, or pearlescent purple against the black leather of his kutte does it for him.
Kyle is definitely on the calmer side most times, especially for his lifestyle, but the fastest way to break that is someone meaning you harm.
You were out at a crowded club with the 141, their ladies, and some friends of the club. It was a celebration of good finances and a successful legal dodge. 
The guys clung to a dark VIP section, there for the drinks and victory lap more than the dancing. On the other hand, you and the other girls were not there to sit idle. 
After a tense few months, the cause of your respective relationship ups and downs with the guys, you guys deserved to cut loose. The table agreed, with your men shouting words of encouragement and flirtatious innuendo to hype you up.
The whole bar was enthralled by you and the other girl’s dancing, singing, and general untethered energy. It was contagious. You especially, you had a few drinks in you, and all that could currently keep your attention was the music.
There was, unfortunately, one outsider who got a little too enthralled with the performance.
When you peeled away from the group, following the uptempo rhythm, he thought that was his time to make his move.
You felt him press up against you while your eyes were closed, assuming it was Kyle, you almost ground back against him. Then you smelt the liquor. Kyle liked a drink like everyone else, and you’d even seen him drunk, but this was someone who’d been at it for a while. Disgustingly sour, too close, and ultimately not your man.
You sent a sharp hit back with your elbow, turning to confirm what you knew. It wasn’t Kyle. He grunted, but pushed forward again making you hold your hand up in a warning.
“I don’t think so.” you waved him off, laughing at the prospect of entertaining him.
Angered by your laughter, he got bolder, shouting to be heard. “Well I think so, but I’m real interested in knowing why you don’t.”
“Because I said what I said, and I have a man.” You were tipsy, but there was an underlying fire to your words lending them solidity. “Fuck off!”
He bristled at another dismissal. “Bitc-“
Kyle had appeared, most likely having started making his way to you once the man got too close, and clapped him on the shoulder. His expression said that he had heard at least some of what was said.
“Hi baby!” You shouted, a little loud even for the club, but that made it endearing. “That’s my man.” You told the asshole.
“Use your ears before I send you home carrying them.” He was gripping the man’s shoulder so tightly you should see the sharp knuckle bones flexing, his rings catching the light.
The man looked at the kutte, and the expression on Kyle’s face, and the exact moment he realized the man would act on the threat literally became apparent.
If that wasn’t enough, you had the ladies at your back, and the table alert and waiting for the call. It was over for the bastard before it even started.
He raised his hands and scurried into the crowd, aiming for the door.
“I love you baby.” You crooned, throwing your arms around him and covering his face with kisses.
He laughed. “I love you too, even when I know I’m going to be holding your pretty hair back all day.”
When the gang has to have a tense table vote in a briefing, their equivalent to some other mc’s “church”, you always wait for Kyle. As secretary, it’s his job to gather information on other gangs, as well as any important changes in the area, and his council is called on first.
You’re waiting for him right after, inviting him back to your house for the night, knowing he won’t want to stay in his dorm. He won’t show it then, but he’s disappointed, and when you get him home, you let him vent to his mind’s content.
All the while, you’re drawing him a bath, doing a light skin routine on his face, greasing his scalp, and curling up on the couch with his back against your chest.
You know his brothers have his best interest at heart, and respect his role in the club, but sometimes he can get in his head about it, and that’s when you step in.
——-
Soap:
Johnny kept his lifestyle a secret from you at first. You’d only been hooking up for a couple of weeks before you both confessed to wanting more.
The crew had mocked him relentlessly about his inability to keep a relationship casual. 
“Give it up mate, you ain’t even foolin’ yourself!” Gaz had clapped him on the back, laughing right in his face. “You start up with a girl right, and it’s over. You’re looking for a house by sunup.”
“Och, piss off with ya! I can keep it casual!” Indignant, and maybe a little drunk, he elbowed the man on the other side of him. “Tell em’ Ghost.”
Simon glanced at him sideways, bourbon halfway to his lips, careful it didn’t spill due to the prodding. “Johnny, some pretty bird starts chirpin’ in your ear and it’s curtains. Now fuck off.”
He couldn’t believe his friends, no — brothers, had such little faith in him.
Cut to a few days later, with him balls deep in you, confessing he wanted more. 
“I’ll be good to ya bon, I swear it. I’m all for ya, just be for me?”
The only thing that lessened the embarrassment of proving his friends right, was that you seemed relieved, and admitted it was what you wanted too.
He couldn’t help it. Ever since he’d been patched in, besides the camaraderie, he was enamored with the relationship between Price and his old lady. There were plenty of solid old lady/old man pairings around him, but something about the way the club queen cared for her man, kept the other girls in order, and still maintained a life for herself was astounding to watch.
He couldn’t help chasing that in every girl he’d gotten with since he’d joined up. So many girls wanted the mystique of a sexy biker, but that’s all he was for them. Either a living dildo, or an attraction they could make their friends jealous with. Things never got very far outside of the bedroom. Except once, but that didn’t go over so well in the end.
He wanted that ride or die bond so badly, he couldn’t wait to have the perfect old lady to wife up and fill a house with brats. 
With you, he prayed he was it for you, because you had quickly become it for him. 
You were a good girl. Specifically, his good girl now. He felt it was highly unlikely you would go for his lifestyle, and so he kept it under wraps at first. He knew he had to tell you at some point, but he wanted to soak up as much time as he could in case you checked out.
“Nah sweetheart, it’s nah like that. We get a little rough, but mainly, we just appreciate bikes.”
“Do ya think I have what it takes to be in a criminal organization? And with ya not knowin’ no less!?”
“Let’s talk about something else bon, did ya ken your thighs look cute warming my ears?”
Guilt eating through him like acid, especially when the club picks up on the fact that he hasn’t brought you around. Anytime Soap has a girl in his bed more than once, he’s parading around the club with her in no time. They know there’s something special about you, and that baffles them even more. Soap claims it’s because you live one town over, which you do, but Gaz calls him on his shit.
He’s hyper defensive, and fights until he’s blue in the face before he admits it’s true. He’s afraid you’ll turn out like the others, or reject him all together. He’s so far gone at this point, he’d rather you use him than leave him.
Price doesn’t like it, and councils him against lying to you any further for numerous reasons. Soap promises he’ll tell you soon, but he’s trying to convince himself as well as his president.
Eventually he couldn’t hide it anymore, but it wasn’t exactly his choice when the curtain got pulled back. 
The two of you had been to a late movie, Johnny finally having had time to squeeze in a date with you after a series of back-to-back runs. You’d suggested coming to him for once to take the burden off. Before he could object, you’d admitted that you were already in town, and he’d rushed to meet you. 
Though he was nervous about you hearing something, or seeing someone off-color that he knew, he couldn’t deny he loved the day he spent with you.
He never needed a reason to want to kiss you, but something about your soft smile under the parking lot lights compelled him right then. Maybe because your expression said just how content you were to be with him, and he buried that in his heart.
“Wait a minute.” He stopped you, lips on yours before you could ask why.
Parking lots didn’t exactly get safer as they got darker, and emptier, but he couldn’t stop once his lips touched yours. Then you started tugging on the curly hair of his Mohawk like you did when you’d really gotten into things.
He was just about to suggest he stay over at your place, when you were interrupted by a cop. You assumed he was going to warn you about loitering and apologized, but he and Johnny knew that wasn’t what it was about. He called Johnny “Soap”, and you were confused as to how they knew each other.
“Oh, Scotboy here goes back with the law a long ways back home.” The cop tried to clap Johnny on the shoulder only for him to violently dodge it. “Easy. I’m not booking you on anything…tonight.”
You were at a loss for what the cop thought he could book Johnny on, and called it out as harassment. Johnny knew, by the sick expression on his face, that the cop was eager to spill it all once he realized how little you knew about the man you were clutching. He tried to prevent that from happening.
“Yeah well, you’re just wastin’ time then, and we have a drive.” Johnny’s arm tightened around your shoulder as he started to lead you away.
“Sweetheart, I don’t know what he’s told you, but if you were my daughter I’d want you to know. That’s a dangerous man you’re on the arm of.”
“Shut up.” Johnny growled, and he knew you had to be thinking about how you’d never seen him like this, but he’d also never been this angry around you.
“Johnny…” you pushed at him to try and get him to move, but he was rooted in rage.
He knew where the cop was taking it.
“This was when you were a prospect back in England right? The number you did on the guys from that other charter…interpol still talks about it. Oh wait…they never proved it was you did they?”
Johnny thumbed his nose and sniffed, jutting out his chin in utter opposition of the man in front of him. “Nah, wasnae even in the country at the time.”
“That’s right. You’ll have to forgive me, I’ve only read the reports our precinct got when you boys moved to town.” The obnoxious officer bounced his palm off his forehead in a mock gesture.
Johnny felt you squeeze his arm, grounding him for the moment, and he thought you might be saying something. His ears sounded like the Grand Rapids ran through them. A hot rage was settling into his chest, and spilling into other parts of his being.
The smug expression of the cop, one of the ones on the force who’d made things personal with the club was
“Johnny!” You shook him, finally getting through to him. “I want to leave.”
He exhaled, softening at your expression. Little tremors of adrenaline wracked through him, but he still led you towards his bike by a firm grip.
“You know, they included pictures in those files they sent over. What you did to those guys..” The cop whistled from behind you.
Johnny helped you into your helmet, watching as your eyes raced with questions, but you were so good for him. You would wait to ask him. 
He brushed his thumbs over the apples of your cheeks. “Ignore him bon. Whatever he says, please.”
“But, the real shame is what happened to Anna.” The cop continued.
In a straight shot, Johnny launched himself at him. “Shut your fuckin’ mouth!”
“They cut her up pretty bad. Was her nose always on the side of her-”
He knew it was bait, and he admitted as much later, but he’d taken the active grenade in his hand all the same. The wounds that piece of shit poked were too raw not to, on top of probably killing everything between you and him. 
Everything was designed to hit a critical point in him. His past deeds, Anna, and most importantly, you.
All he could think about was if he was going to lose you after tonight, there was no way he wasn’t going to make it count all over the bastard’s face.
The local police had been looking for something, anything, to get the club on, but they’d been too careful. That’s what Price had told you on the way to the precinct. Johnny had dialed for you while the cop was getting back to his feet.
“Was any of what he said true?” You were clutching your purse the way you had since you’d gotten into the car with Price and the club’s lawyer.
“I don’t know what you mean love?” Price looked at you cooly, not giving anything away, though you were sure he knew what you meant.
“Never mind.” You shook your head. “I know it’s true. Did Johnny really hurt those guys? Who’s Anna?”
Price kept his eyes on the road, while the lawyer kept his attention on his phone. The air couldn’t have been more tense,
“You should talk to your boy sweetheart. Don’t let some future desk-riding prick make you doubt the man who’d rip out his own heart just to show you it’s yours.”
You swallowed, hard, and didn’t say anything else until you got to the station.
“Um…I think I’m just going to Uber home. Tell Johnny I’ll call him.”
Price nodded, but his look was disapproving. “‘m sorry to hear that,” he adjusted his dark beanie. “But if that’s what you think is best.”
You did not call him. Not later when you were sure he had been released, and not the next day. You wouldn’t even open the never-ending text thread between you two.
He texted you early enough to be apologetic about it, and you had to push your phone to the far side of your bed to stop yourself from responding.
You went about your daily routine, getting ready for your shift at the diner. Your one room apartment didn’t allow you the luxury of pretending your phone wasn’t blowing up with text messages, but you were too afraid you’d cave if you saw the screen while attempting to silence it.
He showed up at the diner, and you pretended to be too busy in the back until he left.
He waited outside of your place, but you wouldn’t come down, going so far as to turn off the lights when you realized he was there.
No call was answered, no text replied to.
Johnny was a wreck. So much so, that as furious as Price and Ghost had been, as much as they’d come down on him, they weren’t sure he’d even heard it. They saw his regret, he did have his brothers and their families in mind, along with the fact that he was a higher ranked member who set a piss poor example for prospects and basic members. 
The fact that his stunt could’ve cost them their freedom. He saw all of that.
But he was HURTING. Physically, mentally, emotionally. It was all Johnny could do to roll out of bed and do the basics before he crawled back again. 
All the club girls dropped by his dorm. Some to be flirtatious, which he lashed out at, some to show sympathy. 
Mrs. Price and Ghost’s girl were especially gentle. It’s the darkest period in Johnny’s life, even when factoring in the Anna situation. It’s clear to all around him, you’re it for him. His soul is yours, and he’s dying without you.
It was Simon who came to you and changed your mind. He couldn't take seeing Johnny that way. The whole table was worried, but Johnny was a little brother to the taciturn specter. He’d only see him like this once before, and this was ten times worse.
In the early afternoon, the diner’s customers were nothing but truckers and elderly folks. So when the 6’4 blond with trunk-thick arms, and a permanent scowl walked in, there was no ignoring him. You noticed the kutte, and thought about making a break for the back, but his look said ‘try it’, and you thought better of it.
Instead, you wound up in a back booth with him, taking your 15 minute break. 
“‘m not the preachin’ sort, so I’ll get on with it.” He stared right through you, lighting a cigarette. “‘s no business of mine what you and Johnny decide to do, but you need to talk to him.”
You started to tell him no smoking, but didn’t feel like exerting the effort. Let your boss deal with it if it mattered.
Your hands trembled, so you put them beneath the table in your lap. “If it’s none of your business, then why are you here?”
”Because, it’s destroying him. You’re destroying him.” He turned for a moment to exhale away from your face, and then his gaze was cutting right back to you. “Lad’s a mess and a half without you. We’ve tried to sort him out, but it’s gonna take you.”
”He lied to me!“ the exclamation left your mouth without a thought to volume control, and you pointedly ignored the stares you knew were at your back.
”You knew.” he said simply. “You may not have known the specifics, and we told him not to do it that way, but you knew.”
Your mouth opened and closed repeatedly, trying to express the million thoughts in your head.
”You may be a town over, but our name gets around. I know you’ve heard somethin’.” He tipped the ash in the glass of water you’d gotten him. “You’re a smart bird by Johnny’s account.”
“If you told him not to lie, then why are you telling me not to be upset?”
“‘m not, ‘m tellin’ you to hear him out. Put him out of his misery, whatever you decide.”
The man left the booth, standing back to his full height and casting a shadow over the booth.
“He’s a right fuckin’ mess. Loves you more than life.”
“More than Anna?” The name that had been swirling around in your mind came out in a semi-bitter question.
There was something that could have possibly been a flinch, but you weren’t sure. It made you regret mentioning it either way.
He stubbed out the cigarette. “He’ll be round yours by the time you get off.”
He was. Looking completely unconfident and nervous about being there. His eyes were bloodshot, and his beloved mohawk showed signs of too many anxious tugs. 
This wasn’t what you were used to with the confident man, and you didn’t like it. You understood, you looked the same way, but you didn’t like it.
He was apologizing constantly, between spilling streams of exposition that only served to confuse you, instead of clearing things up. You finally had to tell him it would just be easier if you could ask questions instead, and he sat back and became an open book.
It went all evening, and then well into the morning. Every question led into lengthy conversation.
“Who’s Anna?”
“...A good lass who didn’t deserve what she got.”
“So it’s definitely more than just appreciating bikes. Why?”
“They’re my family, and they’ve always had my back while lettin’ me be myself. If I have to do somethin’ a lil dodgy now and then, that’s a small price to pay.”
“I don’t doubt you love me Johnny, you make it impossible to, but how can I trust you after this?”
“By takin’ the chance to believe me when I say I’d rather die than go through this again. If honesty brings you back to me, I’ll never leave it out again.”
The sun is rising by the time the two of you are talked out. You make him stay, seeing that his sleep deprivation was starting to collect its due. It was you who didn’t sleep while you pet his hair from where he laid on your lap, and thought over your feelings.
He wakes when you inform him he has a phone call. He tells you to answer it, and you realize it’s a gesture towards the honest leaf turn. 
He took the time to honesty dump with you, so you admit to him that while you’re still hurt, your mind's made up about taking him back.
It should have frightened you how quickly you sank back into things with Johnny, but what actually frightened you was the reason why. You realized you were just as addicted to him as he was to you. How had you lasted the past couple of weeks?
It’s a mutual obsession, only strengthened by a period of absence. Something he vowed would never happen again.
You let him give you your first tattoo, and you even let him pick the design. He couldn’t believe you trusted him with the honor, and he wound up asking if you were sure five times.
“Baby, yes!” you laughed, squeezing his cheeks as a form of cute aggression over his heart eyes. 
This was such an intimate act for him, that he made sure you were completely alone in his dorm room when the day came. The room is spotless for once, sanitized to government standards. You can’t help but notice that he’s lit candles in your favorite scent, and his playlist is all soft music for once.
He spent weeks sketching the perfect concept, and even created variations for your choosing. He went through soooo many pages, unwilling to settle when it came to his girl.
In the end, it was decided, and he got to work on the inner wrist tattoo. All the while, he was checking in with you to make sure you were good.
“It’s just a small piece baby, I’m ok.” You always pressed a kiss to his nose to reassure him and get him back to work.
He looked so handsome, locked in concentration, that it almost completely distracted from the pain. You’d seen him work before, and you loved it, but this wasn’t just work right now. He was giving you something important, and you sensed that. 
When he finally finished, he sheepishly, almost fearfully, asked you what you thought.
“It’s everything Johnny. When everyone asks who’s the talent behind it, I can’t wait to say he’s my man.”
Soap has no regard for anyone or any place when he wants you, which is all the time. You’re all over the clubhouse together. The couches, the hallways, the armory. Officially, clubhouse outer-walls are your spots during cookouts.
Gaz walked into the storage room, focused on finding a part for a customer. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed you through the empty space on a tall shelf.
“Hi, eh, Kyle!” All that was visible was your face, and he wondered for a second why you were out of breath.
“Hey (Y/N), what’re you doing back here?” He gave you a side glance and smile, his attention mainly on the organized shelves.
“I’m..” you bit your lip, unable to form another word as your eyes rolled back.
Kyle froze, realizing what was happening. “Are you fuckin’ kidding me mate?!”
“You walked in on us!” Johnny’s indignant cry came from below his line of vision.
Sooo many lunch break dates. Technically, Johnny is on shift at the garage, and should be preparing for the next day’s run, but his best girl needs him :( . You work so hard at that cafe, and they never appreciate you. Not like he does.
So when he takes the work pickup truck to get you, knowing Price has told him a million times it’s not for that, he can’t be bothered to care.
“Johnny, tell me you did not go across town to buy me this sandwich.” You already knew the answer, and you wanted to scold him for neglecting himself again. “You’re gonna be late getting back to the shop!”
“You love it though. What kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn’t take care of ya.” 
“That’s not the point, you-“
“You’re so pretty baby.”
And you melt and forget to be upset.
You can’t stay mad at Johnny with heart eyes and loving, grabby hands. Especially when those grabby hands start to get a little more focused…
What happens in the work truck, stays in the work truck. Until he gets drunk and brags at a club party….
The fun times were well and good, but Soap knew that the day would come when you got a glimpse at the uglier parts of the life. He barely got you back, and you throwing up your hands and declaring it was all too much was all he could think about.
They’d been having issues with the Shadows MC, and it was starting to boil over. They didn’t like the 141 moving in on their territory, but his table had made it clear that wasn’t up to them. This resulted in many skirmishes he could keep under wraps, but then it came to a head.
They’d hit the Shadows hard at one of their core locations, and in preparation for retaliation, Price and Ghost had called a lockdown. This meant all old ladies, kids, and friends of the club were to hunker down at the club compound until they gave the ok.
The day was here, and he’d been dreading it. He couldn’t very well leave you out there, he hadn’t exactly been subtle that you were his girl, but surely you wouldn’t go for it.
Nothing had been asked of you so far, and he was trying his best to keep from burdening you like the typical old lady. He felt you’d be less likely to leave if he kept the weightier things from you.
He must have paced up and down your street in the dark for over an hour. His phone was blowing up with demands he ‘get his ass back to the compound’ with you, ‘NOW’, but he had to do it right. It wasn’t easy to say “We mowed down some of our enemies, and destroyed their operation, and some guys could make you pay for that.”
He could lose you tonight. He could relive his past.
When he finally did get up the nerve to tell you, he was shocked at how well you took it. He knew you were scared, and you couldn’t have been too happy either, but he loved you for your strength in that moment. 
All you did was quietly pack, while his mouth ran a mile-a- minute. Swinging wildly between telling jokes, assuring you you’d fit in just fine with the other old ladies, and apologizing. You kept telling him you were fine, but your smile didn’t reach your eyes.
It took a week to beat the Shadows back. In that time Johnny had been in and out of safe houses, with barely a spare minute to check in with you. If he was being honest, he was terrified.
He couldn’t shake the feeling that when he got back to the compound, you wouldn’t be there. You’d be long gone, and when he went to your place, the things he’d left (so sneakily) would be in a box waiting on the doorstep.
He was so sure of this, that he wanted to go by your place first, but his bone-weary brothers were barely sitting upright on their bikes. Battered and bruised to hell, he couldn’t ask them to indulge his paranoia. The table didn’t like to be too far from each other until they were fully assured they were whole back home.
He was the last to walk through the door, to the shock of his brothers, but he didn’t want to tell them he was probably about to scream his throat raw when he saw you weren’t there. 
He clenched and unclenched his aching fists in anxiety. ‘Just look around the room you daft fucker!’ He mentally scolded himself.
He didn’t get a chance to. You barreled into him, arms locking around his neck. He stumbled back, weariness and shock combining to make his footing unstable, but his back hit the solid metal door behind him.
“I was so fucking worried.” You whispered into his neck, and he felt his neck dampen with what he presumed were tears.
“I was too…” he admitted, finding it in him to grip you to his person with a desperate strength.
Relief flooded his body when you started pressing kisses all over his face, and all he could do was stand there. Receiving your love.
“Oh!” You tried to pull away, but he wouldn’t let you. “Johnny put me down, the girls told me about how tired you guys are when something like this happens. You should be resting.”
“I’ll get to that bonnie, just keep kissing me like that.” He whispered, hands slipping into the back pocket of your jeans to keep you close.
You took over as soon as you got him back to his dorm room. You helped him undress, made sure he didn’t collapse in the shower, and even straightened his precious Mohawk while he struggled to pull on the sweats you’d grabbed him. All the while, awkward apologies from him. From you, excited recollections of all the things you’d learned from the strong women around you over the week.
Johnny supposed he had them to thank. In the back of his mind he’d been wondering what flipped the switch, and gifted him the kind of welcome home he used to envy the taken members of the club for getting. You were the best girlfriend he ever had, but an old lady was something else, yet here you were, excelling at that too.
And later, in his room after the hot shower, he collapsed face first on the bed. It took one, deep inhale of the fresh linen to know someone had done laundry. He exhaled with a hum, openly appreciating the clean scent.
“Yeah, you can thank me later.” You laughed, entering the room from his bathroom.
Johnny heard the sound of a lid pop, but was too far gone to look back and see what it was. Then you straddled his back, your soft hands kneading out a week’s worth of tension, self-inflicted and otherwise. He groaned, feeling the soothing lotion follow your hands over the peaks and valleys of his muscular frame.
“Addin’ this to my tab then?” He slurred, half in the dream realm, half with the love of his life.
“Yep, but I know you’re good for it.” You leaned down, nipping his ear, and making him mewl in frustration as he hardened against the mattress, knowing there’d be nothing he could do about it at the moment.
He used the last of what he had to flip you over, mentally cataloging the adorable squeak you let out. Cupping your cheeks, he shared a soft look with you for just a moment, before he sealed his lips over yours. All he could do was hope you could feel everything he wanted to say behind the movement of his lips.
Judging by your soft sighs, he guessed you could.
He pulled away, settling half on you, half off. “I’m settlin’ my debts soon as I’m up hen. Bet on it.”
He makes Ghost promise to take care of you if something ever happens to him. 
“Johnny, shut fuck up,” Ghost glared at him, faint facial scars following his frown. “You’ll outlive us all.”
Johnny stared at him from across the meeting table, more serious than a personification of the sun had any right to be. They were the only two in the briefing room, for some reason the place felt sacred enough to Soap for such a request.
“‘m serious VP, that’s ma heart, I love her.” His accent thickened with emotion, and he sipped his bar as if to wash it back. 
                                                                                                                               His fingers flexed around the sweating glass. “‘m gonna marry her.”
“Lads and I knew that the first time you talked about her.”
Soap smiled at that, but his expression quickly returned to its serious state. “Sweet girl and me have been talkin’ about kids, preferably after.”
A fond quiet bloomed between them at that admission. The two of you had told no one else, and Johnny felt guilty violating your pillow talk confessionals, but he hoped it would get Ghost to agree.
“Want that more than anythin’ VP, but I can’t pull the trigger until I know they’ll be looked after.”
“The club-“
“Not just the club!” He ran a hand through his mohawk in frustration. 
Why couldn’t the stubborn fucking giant just agree?
“I know the club will look after them in general. I know I can trust our table, hope I can trust the other charters.” He sighed, refocusing. “You’re my best friend Simon. I just have to know my girl, and my bairn, would always have you at their back. If I died.”
“Wouldn’t happen. I’d lay my life down so you could make it back-“
Johnny shook his head, choosing not to repeat himself. Instead, he gave his friend a pleading look.
He could see a storm of thoughts and emotions competing for dominance in his friend’s mind. His expression didn’t change much, but it was in his eyes if you knew him.
He saw why Simon was resisting, he didn’t feel worthy of being looked to in that way.
Finally, Ghost responded after grinding his cigarette out in the dish on the table. “Promise the same f’me then. I’ve fucked her life up enough, shouldn’t still be doin’ it when I’m gone.” 
“On my honor.” Soap didn’t even have to think, it was an instinct.
“Then tell your missus you’re ready. I’ll cover my end.”
———
Price:
Head honcho. Chief. The Boss. Captain of the ship. It’s all the same no matter who calls him what, President Price is in charge.
He founded the club after leaving his original due to lack of loyalty, and thoughtless endeavors. He works overtime to make sure his club doesn’t fall in the same way. His code of ethics may not make a lick of sense to anyone outside of the outlaw life, but they’ve garnered the respect and admiration of some of the toughest men around the globe.
They’d follow him through hell because they know he’d be the first one in.
When they’re on a run, selling guns or attending a meeting in neutral territory, John’s mind is all business until business is done. Then it’s all you. He loves hearing his guys talk about how they’re going to spend their new check, or swapping stories about their old ladies. Sometimes, he even joins in.
But what he really wants to do is celebrate with you. Most times you’re already up at the compound. Seeing to the legitimate businesses, taking care of the girls, helping the member’s families, etc.
He respects what you do, what you’re capable of, beyond borders. However, he can’t help but be jealous. You always come to him first, tight hug and a long soft kiss, but then you’re quickly looking over his guys. The men revel in it, almost becoming kittens under your motherly ministrations. Especially Soap and Gaz, who you’re in the same age group as, but you scold all the same.
When the last man has been sent on his way, he’s dragging you away to the little bedroom off his office. He knows you find it amusing, to see his selfishness win out over any tiredness he’s feeling.
Before the door can even close, he’s pulling you close and kissing you his favorite way. A kiss he didn’t know he was capable of until you became his wife. Anytime he was gone too long, you did something that knocked him off his feet, or your affection wasn’t directed solely at him, he kissed you that way.
He cradled your head, holding you steady when he pressed his lips to yours. He left no room for there to be room between the two of you. Rough thumbs slid under your chin, tilting your head up slightly before he slid his tongue between your lips. He knew he had to release you soon, let you remember how to breathe, but it was hard to fight the hunger.
“Nothing flatters me like my big biker husband being unable to share me for two seconds.” you teased, but your teasing came out in short puffs, as your lungs weren’t cooperating with you at the moment.
He could feel you swaying, going dizzy, and he brushed his beard over your ear to make you squirm before he said. “Jump love.”
You did, feeling his heavy hands grasp your thighs seconds later. He slid your legs over his hips, encouraging you to lock down around his waist.
“I’m just making sure you take care of what’s yours.” he thrust upward, hardness touching. “I promised it to you that first time.”
He laid you across the bed, staring down at you with a darkened smirk. “Take some responsibility for the state of your possessions.”
He’s the head of an organization that now exists in several countries. All that responsibility is tiring, even for a man so skilled at navigating it, and there’s been many a day when all he can do is lay his head down for the pain of the headaches.
You can’t count how many times you’ve come up to the club when he didn’t come home, only to find him furiously puffing a cigar and downing shots to dull the pain. 
The guys had families to feed, there were good men behind bars for them that needed to be taken care of, he had tables back home that needed guidance, there were property expenses, legal retainer fees, and more. Much more.
That meant more risky non-legit work, which meant stretching the legitimate business to cover what that brought in. He had to know when it was time to expand, when it was time to halt, and when it was time to move to something else.
But he’s just a man, one man, and you’re there to remind him of that. 
“John?” You had been expecting to find him in his office, but the moment you stepped into the club house, you saw him at the bar.
He wasn’t alone. 
Phillip Graves, president of the Shadows MC finished off his drink and clapped John on the back. 
“We’ll talk again.” He nodded his head towards you with a wink and a smile. “Ma’am.”
Your narrowed eyes followed him out of the door, remaining there until his motorcycle’s engine was a distant roar. At that point, you turned back to your husband.
He was gripping his forehead, lit cigar balanced on the heavy crystal ashtray next to him. The last remnants of whisky mingled with the melting ice in his glass, which he threw back before attempting a fake smile.
”Hello darling, you just close up shop?”
”Yeah, and I got home to find my husband wasn’t there. What the fuck John? You said you were going to work on this.” 
You tossed your purse on the counter. “And Graves?! I can’t even-“
”(Y/N), don’t start.” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “I do not have that in me right now.”
Sighing, you placed one hand on his back, using the other to put out his cigar. He protested with a disapproving grunt, but was too tired to do more than that. Your face softened at that realization.
He pushed back from the bar a little, allowing you to slide onto his lap, legs splitting over his thighs. “I’m just worried. You can lead a table, you can lead the whole organization, but you can’t carry the whole thing on your back.”
You cupped his head like he often did to yours, and massaged the base of his skull. His eyes slid shut, body going lax, and he practically purred.
Leaning down, you scattered gentle kisses on his face, careful to leave no spot untouched, before going in for a whiskery kiss. It was here John took over, thanking you for the attention.
“You know that it’s not you I don’t trust right?” you asked between kisses. “It’s him.”
“I know, and you know I value your judgment.” He got underneath your shirt, hands rubbing your sides slowly. 
There was a moment of domestic peace and quiet. You massaging his temple, and he massaging your sides. Though you trusted the capable man going soft under your hands, you hoped he wouldn’t regret whatever Graves was bringing to your door.
John doesn’t come to your shop often, but it’s not because he doesn’t support your career. It’s because he can’t watch you work for very long without wanting you biblically on every surface.
You love his open attraction to you, so it’s not exactly the easiest thing to ignore. No matter how much you try to stay focused on the job, the man is the love of your life, and he looks handcrafted by god.
Hunched over a client’s thigh, your brows were drawn in concentration on the elaborate Victorian cameo piece.
Out of the corner of your eye, you could see John lounging in the plush desk chair he’d dragged over. A good distance to respect your client, but close enough, he could keep eyes on his favorite person.
Your client was amused, laughing through a wince, she nodded in John’s direction. “You’ve got a not-so-secret admirer.”
“I’ve been caught lovely, what to do now?”
”Ignore you.” You quipped before glancing up at your client. “He’s my husband.”
”Oh,” she hummed. “That explains the heart eyes.”
At that, you did have to look up, instantly wishing you hadn’t. It was a visual trap. 
John, sitting there like the king he was, manspreading with no shame. Black beanie, tight jeans, dark sweater with his royal kutte draped over the sweater, and leather boots. You told him more than once he could model, to which he feigned offense. 
“Focus on your work.” John admonished, but the smirk he said it though was pure sin.
Your eyes had strayed below the belt, and John was fully aware of this. Reveling in it really.
”Don’t you have a bike to fix? A prospect to bottle feed?”
”Nope,” his arms crossed behind his head, an action you saw out of the corner of your eye. “I belong to my missus this evening.”
Your client cooed, undoubtedly enjoying the banter between you and John. You did too, too much, and his bit about belonging to you made you have to pause and readjust yourself.
”Every evening really.”
”That’s nice John.” You hissed, lifting the gun from her skin to wave him off.
Your client laughed, trying hard to hold herself steady for you.
“Don’t encourage him.” you turned yourself at an angle slightly, trying and failing to ignore him. 
“Well, it’s really far more than just evenings isn’t i-“
You lifted your foot from the pedal, and placed the tattoo gun on the tray next to you. 
“Kitchen, now.” You gave your client a sheepish smile. “We were due for a break anyway hun. Can I get you anything?”
She was visibly entertained by you and John, after all, the two of you had become a legendary couple in these parts for a reason.
“I’m good, take your time.”
John winked at your client, strolling behind you into the back. You waited until he was in the kitchenette before sliding the door closed.
”You’re such an ass.” But your hands were already under his sweater, running up and down his chest.
You appreciated that he took up so much space in the little room, forcing the two of you together. You could blame the room’s dimensions for being all over him, and not your unwavering attraction to the man.
“I haven’t seen you in 15 hours, yes, I counted. I’m always counting when it comes to you. You can’t ask me to behave.” 
Large hands slid into your hair, fingers interlocking to cradle your head. He didn’t even have to pull you in to kiss you, and he grinned, clearly also appreciating the size of the space.
“You think she’s a big enough fan to give us thirty?”
You actually have three rings. Your engagement ring, your wedding ring, and one of John’s rings that he gave you the first night you fucked.
In the quiet of the briefing room, somewhere you were surprised to be, you sat on his lap. The two of you soaked up the afterglow, the party raging outside fading to a dull noise outside of your own world. Coming down from your high, you let out a soft noise of surprise when John gripped your hair to kiss you with one hand. The other hand grasped your own, the one that had come to rest on his chest when you’d ridden him into his throne.
He slid the silver, braided band onto your ring finger, promising. “The first to come”
He loves to get in the ring and show off for you. Sometimes, there’s a loud mouth from a visiting club, or another table visiting, and John takes them to the ring they have in the back of the club’s compound. 
Usually, it’s Konig’s or Simon’s domain, but it’s not because John doesn’t love dishing it out as much as them. That becomes apparent when he delivers careful, strategically brutal, blows to his opponent. Enough to win, and then a few more to humble.
You had long ago stopped lying to yourself about how much it turned you on. So when John emerged from the ring, panting, abs catching the compound’s lights on a sheen of sweat, you always dragged him off. Under the guise of cleaning him up of course ;).
John’s breeding kink goes wild when he sees you with a baby, or any kid really. He’s been around the club life long enough to see many couples welcome kids. One of the first outings the two of you made as an official thing was to the hospital to see the birth of a member’s baby.
His old lady bonded with you, and you were quickly given child holding privileges. It came so naturally to you, and John felt what he figured the two of you would get to eventually quickly build itself a home in his chest. New Kink unlocked: breed you on any surface he could find.
He couldn’t tear his eyes away, it was hypnotizing. His family around him saw it for what it was. Their president had this future scene, starring you and him, written all over him.
He thought the intensity of it was something he had to keep under wraps until he noticed you had the same feelings. 
Baby showers, shopping for 141 babies, school drives and charities the club did for the local youth, seeing cute kids on social media. It didn’t matter, John caught on to the fact that you fucked him like a feral rabbit whenever you got that maternal glint in your eye. He didn’t call you on it until after you were married. The day when your shop receptionist went on maternity leave. 
You’d been going on all through dinner, and then while doing the dishes, about how cute the kid would be, and you loved helping her with her nursery, and how she was already glowing. The more you ranted, the harder he got, until finally, he trapped you against the counter.
“I reckon it’d be easier to just say you want to be a mum.” he lifted one leg to his waist, and bucked against your clothed heat. “Say it.”
You stammered, eyes wide, pupils blown. “J-John..”
“Say it.” his voice somehow found a lower octave to sink to, choked with desire.
“What are you talking about?” you whined, embarrassed at being found out.
“Don’t be embarrassed. I’m hard as steel love, you feel that?” he grabbed your wrist, kissing the knuckles before quickly brushing them over his length. 
“That’s how bad I want to make you a mum, can’t you just admit it too?”
Tilting your chin up, he placed tiny kisses under your chin, purposely dragging his beard across the soft skin after each kiss. 
“C’mon then, tell your husband the truth so I can give us what we both want”
You whimpered, clutching the fabric of his t-shirt. “John..”
“Go on, invite me in.” he slipped his index finger in the top of your panties just enough to play with the elastic. Stretching it until it threatened to fly back against your skin before he eased it back in place.
You moved forward in an attempt to make his finger slip lower, and he laughed darkly, holding you in place. Shaking his head, he repeated his precious statement.
“Give me a baby John.” you huffed, frustration rising until all that you could do was spill the truth. 
Gasping, you felt the cold tile of the counter beneath your thighs. You tried to process how he’d gotten you up there so fast, but your mind didn’t want to focus on anything other than your husband kneeling before you with the most determined look you’d ever seen.
As he slipped your panties and pajama shorts down your legs, he whispered how it’d be best if you prepared an excuse for work while you could still think straight.
310 notes · View notes
onesidedradiostatic · 2 months
Note
I can't work out if Alastor genuinely considered Vox a friend or thought of him more as like. A cute pet that dotes on its owner and does little tricks. And then he shows off his cute little pet to Rosie and Mimzy. I don't think he ever viewed Vox as a threat to him in any way, but it makes me wonder about Vox's whole smooth, smart, scary and competent side we initially see in episode 2. Was that something he picked up from Alastor, or was it something Vox already had that might have sparked Alastor's interest? Did he actually mentor Vox in any way or did he just think it was fun to watch him try to build a tiny version of Alastor's empire.
we don't have a whole lot to go off of right now, especially when it comes to alastor's side, but personally I find it more interesting if alastor did genuinely consider vox a friend. even if in his own alastor fashion, there were probably certain walls he never let down. I think it's interesting in that, we know alastor has more of a soft spot for women, so in this pre-husk era, vox could've easily been one of his first few male friends. which kinda makes it sadder it didn't work out. it's like it just proved to alastor "right this is why I don't trust men".
things we know rn are:
alastor calls vox "old pal" at the end of episode 2
alastor allowed vox to take a picture with him at some point
alastor, who is perfectly capable of killing overlords, has not killed vox
also seen this pointed out before, but in the initial commercial alastor filmed in episode 1, although shitty, he did do some actual editing
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I wouldn't expect alastor to already have knowledge of how to do this beforehand on his own, question is: did he learn it himself? or did he learn it...
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...from someone else in the past?
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not to mention he seems to just instinctively already know how to set up shit for filming near the end of the episode. he must have gotten some experience from somewhere.
I think this post describes what they could've learnt from each other in the past best
I like to think alastor saw him as more than just some cute pet, at least back then. it adds more depth to their relationship. obviously there's stuff like the toxic homoerotic stalker-like obsession I feel is one-sided on vox's part (points to my url), but that doesn't mean I think alastor's side of their general relationship is completely non-existent. them having a genuine past friendship that affected both of them in different ways is what adds layers to their relationship I think. they were clearly both affected by their falling out in that they both developed irrational hatred of the other's medium as a result. and honestly? really need to see more of alastor's side of this, I think it'd be really interesting. even though, he hates vox now, and I don't believe he wants him back as a friend, is there any sort of sentiment left from their past friendship? is there a reason why he hasn't killed him? or was the time he almost beat vox an attempt at that? (though I like to believe it wasn't)
obviously, all we can do now is speculate based on the evidence we have in season 1, but for me personally, I like to think they were legitimately friends at some point.
213 notes · View notes
writingsfromhome · 1 month
Text
Dos and Don’ts of H Styles
A/N: this story was literally born out of the wifi incident happening to me. It was a weird experience lol but of course it inspired me to write a story around it. Basically you used to work for Harry as a PA and your life was hell. You bump into him in the present but before it unfolds we need to know what happened in the past.
Part 1 / 2 / 3 / 4
——————————————
I watch as Winnie types into her phone the number of the guy who’d just hit on her.
“And that’s with a y?” She looks up at him with doe eyes.
“Yea,” he falls for it. He was cute, and she worked a lot I didn’t blame her for taking who she could get. His accent also helped. “What’re you doin’ now?”
“Well,” her eyes slide to me. “Hanging with my girlfriend here.”
He nods at me and I smile, holding up the almost empty glass. “We were just about done for the night though.”
“We were?” Winnie checks in with me.
“Mhm,” I give her an encouraging nod.
Both Winnie and I were employed by musician-turned-actor Oretta Smith. Winnie was her nanny—or childcare companion as she called it, and I worked as Oretta’s executive assistant. It was full-time and demanding as hell but ever since Oretta had her first child a couple months back I’d gotten a lot more breathing room as she minimized her public life and stayed close to home.
This long weekend Oretta was staying with her in-laws and asked us to take it off. I’d already requested the weekend off knowing we were in London but being off at the same time as Winnie was impossible so we’d gone out to celebrate and let loose—9pm and only 2 drinks in, both of us had already started talking about the comfort of our beds. Until flirty dude came up to Winnie.
“What do you say?” Winnie’s new date asks her.
“Aw shucks alright,” Winnie flashes her beautiful smile and hops off the stool. I don’t even see her drop the bills onto the table as she hugs me goodbye and leaves until it’s too late. She’d covered for both of us. Well I’d get her back next time.
I finish the rest of my drink, eyes flicking to the reruns of tonight’s soccer game. This wasn’t the fanciest bar—it was quite homely compared to the ones Winnie and I often found ourselves at. But it was one I used to go to when I worked in London just over a year ago. Being back in the city, despite all the awful memories, pulled me towards the nostalgic comfort of it.
I remember the many dates with my now-ex, the random nights I’d actually get off, and drown myself in drink to forget about my awful employer. Or the birthday and milestone celebrations—especially the ones I started to miss near the end.
I consider walking the few streets over to my old flat. Coincidentally the job I’d gotten wasn’t far from home. The upside was that it made dealing with “emergency” texts from my employer a lot quicker but the downside was it grouped all the traumas I experienced in this beautiful city to a few blocks. I didn’t miss it.
I cut my memory lane rabbit-hole short and decide it was time to order an Uber and get out of here; I had an early train to catch tomorrow.
The bars on my phone flicker up and down as I open the app and continue to refresh it over and over. But my signal remains unstable.
“Stupid phone,” I mutter. I had to update my provider while I was here asap.
“‘Scuse me?” I wave down someone serving drinks. “Have you got wifi here?”
“Yep we do!” She smiles. “Name’s The Violinist and the password’s capital p….”
Her voice grows far away as my blood runs cold and I stare at the list of available wifi networks. I feel myself nod a thank you when she stops talking and she leaves taking the password with her while I’m stuck staring.
My networks:
🔗H’s iPhone
I want to duck down and run away, not spend another second around anything to do with that era of my life. But I also want to hunt him down and show him how much better I was doing after him, despite.
The second instinct wins. Kind of.
I don’t hide away. I scan the dimly lit room and try to spot the familiar head of hair but it’s on the third try that I spot him. And it’s probably because his hair is barely an inch long.
He must’ve cut it recently, I’m surprised. Him without his hair was like Harry Potter without his scar.
The feelings are instantaneous though. The loathing and the need to cry. My heart continues to race as I burn a hole into the side of his head.
He was the devil incarnate and I had thought about him for a second too long just now. And now here he was. What the fuck was a guy like him doing here?
I remember the awful times; the casually cruelty and the late nights he would make me work. His constant criticism. The way my life fell apart because of him. The way I could wring his neck with very little incentive at any given moment.
He had turned my whole life upside down. He ruined me.
Harry Styles wasn’t the sweetheart everyone painted him out to be.
And yet, a flash of a feeling, a fleeting memory I try to keep locked away pushes to the front of my mind.
“Fuck no,” I tell myself. There was no room for fondness when it came to the devil.
About 2 years ago:
I straighten out the blazer, wondering if I should be chic and roll the sleeves up a bit or just keep them down. My reflection shows a nervous mousy girl that’s trying too hard. I throw my hair into a ponytail instead and feel a more like myself. Just as the elevator doors ding open.
I’m in the penthouse suite I would be working out of for the next however long; it was my first day on the job and I was still sorting out my nervous to excited ratio.
After looking for months, I’d landed a PA gig for up-and-coming rockstar Harry Styles. It was a dream come true and everyone was ecstatic for me, most of all my boyfriend who’d helped me land the role.
My boyfriend, Grayson, was a personal trainer to a lot of big names and he’d been keeping his ear to the ground for me. We met a few years ago at the gym of course, I’d still been a student and he worked part-time at the student gym. Back then he was still working to get a better client list.
We’d clicked pretty quickly and Grayson, who was anything but shy, asked me out. Soon after he was telling me he had feelings for me and I’d felt them echo back the same. He was my biggest supporter and when I told him I wanted to take this career path seriously he’d been the first to show me what steps to take to get there.
My true dream was to become a publicist and work with celebrities, but fresh out of post-grad everyone told me I’d need to dive head first and get my hands dirty. And I’d have to do that by finding a PA role for a publicist or an industry person.
“Y/n?” My name interrupts my thoughts. It comes from a disembodied head peeking out from a doorway. “You are y/n right?”
“Yes!” I hurry over. “Nice to meet you.”
“Yes. I’m Mr. Styles’ exec assistant, I’m only here for the next,” he looks down at his watch. “Half hour perhaps? So let’s get you sorted before I head out.”
“Oh okay. Sure,” my ears ring, I was going to be alone on my first day. I didn’t even know he had an executive assistant. What was the difference between him and me? What if I screw up and this guy was part of the fallout plan? Shit. “Is Mr. Styles in?”
“Not at the moment, he’ll be in before noon. He has a few appointments this morning. Typically you’d be going with him but he left before you arrived so…next time. Make sure you get any paperwork he received from the appointments and file them in here-“ he points to a room with a filing cabinet. Like an actual cabinet. This was a tight ship. “You sound American. Are you American?”
“Yep,” I debate whether to tell him I stayed after doing my degree here but decide to keep the yapping to a minimum.
I continue following the EA—who I should get the name of, as he points out rooms and overlaps it with info about Mr. Styles’ schedule and routines. A lot of info. My brain felt like it was barely holding on.
I think about the man I was now working for, the one who came into the interview for a brief 10 minutes. Surely that laid-back guy wasn’t the anal mystery man I was getting all these instructions for.
The interview itself had gone pretty smoothly apart from the fact that I nervous-laughed a few times too many. I had gone silent when The Harry Styles had walked into the office. He’d sat beside me at the round table, slouching slightly and flashing me a reassuring smile—I had felt my shoulders dip down immediately.
“So it’s y/n right? I’m pronouncing that correctly?” He’d said in his perfectly charming accent.
“Yes, it’s so nice to meet you officially.” I had to tamp down every urge to gush over him. I was a professional. I was zen.
“So y/n,” he says my name so casually and yet I feel myself lean closer to hear him say it again. “I’ve seen a couple of you come in here for the PA role. What makes you different then?”
Think think, just be calm and think!
“Well I’m a very passionate person so I put my all into everything I do. That would include this job, and in turn you’d benefit by getting peace of mind knowing I’m tackling whatever behind the scenes items that need to get done to get you where you need to go.”
“Well said,” he says with a smile that says he knew he was very good looking. “Now trust is a big factor in this relationship.”
As he talks I forget his manager is even in this room. I’m swept up in the hazy green of his eyes.
“We’ve done the background checks and all that—right?” He looks to his manager who was interviewing me and gets a nod. “But how can you reassure me. My staff gets approached by the media daily for any info on me. What’s to say you don’t sell out.”
“I would never,” I didn’t even think of that being an option. “Confidentiality and trust is the biggest pillar of this role and I take it very seriously. You’re like, the biggest celeb of the last year but I know you’re also a person and I wouldn’t betray that. On a person level.”
“So even if you had a really bad day, say I had gotten you to do some impossible tasks. And you’re heading out head full of steam and you get approached by a reporter. £5k for an exclusive.”
I shake my head. “As tempting as it would be, professional ethics reign over any of that.”
“I believe you y/n,” his eyes flicker down to my file. “Good references. We’ll be in touch.”
Now my eyes roam around the small room I’m meant to work out of. It’s the size of 1.5 supply closets with half the walls filled with shelves and cabinets. There’s a small desk but I wasn’t sure how often I’d be sitting at it. All the PAs I’d ever connected with always complained about the amount of time you spend on your feet. That’s why I’d opted to buy myself runners when I got the job.
“Any questions—mind you I have 1 minute for them before I’m off? There’s a suit I have to sort out.” The EA turns to me when we circle back to my office/supply closet.
“Oh,” a million race through my mind. Nothing that would fit in a minute. “I um, I guess I didn’t catch your name?”
He seems surprised at that, and then he laughs. “Oh you’re a doll. This place is gonna eat you alive. I’m Riley and tip for you—don’t be so eager to please. Do your job. Do it well. But you’re not here to be liked or make friends alright?”
He laughs again when he looks at my face. He hands me an iphone and tells me it’s programmed with everything and everyone I needed, then waves goodbye leaving me in a confused spot.
I wasn’t naïve, I knew what working in this industry was like but I was could swear I’d landed a good gig with Harry Styles. And meeting the man himself in the interview had confirmed it.
Maybe Riley was just jaded by too many long hours.
My phone vibrates in my pocket. A text from Grayson: good luck on your first day babe. let me know how it goes.
I only have time to heart it when I hear the elevator open in the foyer. I rush out just for Harry to brush past me and his manager following, chattering away about something.
I follow from behind and watch as he heads to the kitchen. Riley had shown me what he laid out on the island and how I should do it going forward. And like two magnets Harry reaches for the exact bottle Riley mentioned. He downs the smoothie and then collapses onto the barstool.
“But don’t forget what she was saying about the single needing to be global. Sure your fanbase would love it but would the people who hate you have to admit it’s good.”
“I make it for my fans not for the wankers that hate me,” Harry says and his voice is rich like caramel.
“You know what we mean.” His manager suddenly turns directly to me. “Can you contact the studio and let them know to push Harry’s 1pm to 3?”
“Oh,” I didn’t even know they knew I was here. They gave no acknowledgement until now. “Of course. Um, could I just get the paperwork from this morning too? The appoint-“
“Yep,” his manager unhauls the items in his hands. The whole time Harry stares out the window. I’m handed a stack of papers and I carry them to the office.
My hands are shaking when I put them down and I feel a lump in my throat. What was wrong with me? Why was I reacting this way?
I find the studio contact in the phone Riley gave me and let them know. They’re suspicious at first but accept the reschedule. I leave the paperwork for later, figuring I might be needed now.
But the rest of the morning I’m unacknowledged save by a few requests from Harry’s manager. I spend some time looking through the calender in the phone that’s pre-programmed with Harry’s entire life. It’s packed except for this Sunday. I wonder if it was actually free or just hidden from me since it was my one day off.
“You’ve got a passport haven’t you…?” It’s the first time Harry’s spoken to me. He’s changed into a hoodie and shorts, his manager is nowhere to be seen, and I’ve just bitten into a granola bar—the first thing I’d had since my morning coffee.
“Y/n.” I try to swallow the bite whole but at the last minute push it to the side to try to answer. “Erm yeah. I haven’t got it on me though.”
“Right. Y/n. Start carrying it. I’ll need you with me on Thursday I have a morning meeting in Léon and since Riley’s going to be sorting out something for my New York trip in a couple weeks he can’t make it.”
“Yes. I will. Do you need me to prepare anything else for the trip? I’m not sure if you’ve packed or-“
“It’s just a meeting.” He cuts me off. He pulls out his phone, dismissing me.
I swallow the knot in my throat once more.
I go with Harry to the studio since his manager is meeting us there. Alone in the car with him, the silence feels stuffy.
“I never got the opportunity to say thank you by the way,” I try to open up a conversation. All he was doing was looking out the window surely I wasn’t interrupting anything.
“What?” He stares right through me.
“Um, I’m just saying thank you. For the job.”
He nods.
I stay silent for the rest of the ride.
The studio is quiet, which makes sense when I think about it but upon entering an actual room I change my mind. The noise assaults my ears and I nearly jump at the volume but my hand gripping the doorknob keeps me in place.
People swarm around Harry.
“I need my tablet and my notebook,” Harry says amidst the small chaos.
What the fucks was he talking about. “Sorry?”
“My tablet and notebook,” His face darkens and so does my mood. Nobody told me! But maybe I should’ve asked oh my god.
“I don’t have it,” I say lamely.
“Any time I’m in the studio I need those two things. You need to get me my tablet and my notebook.” He speaks like a robot.
“I-I’ll head back,” I get my bag again. “Tablet and notebook, is there anything else?”
He looks angrier than I thought. He sticks his hands in his pocket, shuffles something in his hand before handing it over. “You may as well get lunch. Keep that card on you for business costs.”
I open my mouth to ask what he might want but he turns away as soon as I take the card and I’ve already fucked up royally so I decide to wing it.
In the car I consider googling what Harry Styles ate for lunch and instead will the ever living shit out of myself not to cry.
I scroll through the phone, debating if calling Riley for help would be a mistake. Going through every app for help I realize the countless notes in the app.
Morning Routines, says one. It lists things I should do when the mornings were spent at home, in studio, abroad, in a hotel, or if I walk into a “morning-after” morning. Jeez.
Another has checklists for what to do when travelling, how-to for routine appointments I should be booking, routine people I should be calling.
Why didn’t I look at this before. Right there is one called Studio Days and in bold it says what to bring.
I was an idiot. A big fat idiot.
I try my luck and search lunch. Sure enough a note with possible lunch places in cities across the world pops up.
It was a How-to guide for Mr. Styles.
Whoever put this shit together was an angel. I owed them my life.
I decide to be proactive, sorting lunch out to be delivered to the studio while the car drops me off. I run to the room Riley had said was the home studio. Sure enough I spot the tablet and a few notebooks, I grab all 3. I also grab the charger and ignore the bag of weed chilling on the arm of the chair.
What to do when he’s too drunk / What to do for Interview Days / What to do when he won’t answer the door or the phone / Day-off checklist / Social media checklist.
The dos and don’ts go on and on as I scroll through on the ride back. This was going to be my homework and by the end of the week I was gonna be a genius.
I swipe away and check if I had missed any folders containing precious info. Just the trash.
Out of curiosity I open it and there’s only 1 sitting inside: the donts of working for Harry Styles
I open it:
-don’t let one nice day fool you into forgetting he’s an arse and your employer
-don’t expect any gratitude from a narcissist
-don’t fall for his charm
-don’t shit where you sleep. no matter how tempting
-when he pisses you off which he will, don’t mouth off. what happens next is worse than being fired. which he won’t do because he’s the devil and he will want to keep you around after treating you like shite
-don’t think he’s chill. he’s anything but. follow the checklists and the rules.
-don’t have a life. actually this is a CAN’T. YOU CAN’T HAVE A LIFE WORKING FOR THE DEVIL. LEAVE AS QUICKLY AS YOU CAN UNLESS YOU HATE YOURSELF
I close the phone immediately, my heart thumping in my chest like a steady bass in the background of a song. What the hell did I get myself into.
***
It’s 8pm by the time I head back with Harry. The car is once again silent.
I had spent the day reviewing emails and the checklists, fielding calls and texts. His personal chef had texted to tell me dinner was prepared and in the oven to be re-heated so I figure that’s the last thing I’d do before I head home.
I’d eaten lunch standing while watching Harry sing background vocals to the album he was working on. It was hard to deny how intoxicating it was to see such a talented man work his magic. And it really was magical seeing how a song got put together.
That is until he’d sent me to get tea for the room and I’d nearly spilled half of it on myself getting enough back to the room. I was getting an electric kettle next.
I made a new note then: Reminders to do so you don’t get fired
The notes were my saving grace.
“My head is killing me,” Harry groans.
What to carry at all times: #4 paracetamol and #2 water
Checkmarked after going to the pharmacy while he was in the studio. I’d created an emergency makeup bag with essentials I could throw in my tote. I considered it a win today.
I hand the painkillers to him and he seems surprised. He replaces them with his phone.
“I don’t want to look at a screen for the rest of the night.”
“Okay.” I leave his phone beside me and try not to think of everything on it.
It vibrates a few minutes later and I leave it, not wanting to invade his privacy but he glances at me.
“Well?”
“Oh!” I lift it but it’s locked.
“1021.”
I type it in. “Um, Jeff wants to know if you’re still at the studio-“
“Reply to him.”
I do as I’m told.
“Um Mitch wants to know if you’re-“
“If it’s scheduling questions you can probably answer them without bothering me about it.”
I look up and he’s tipped his head back, eyes closed. Right. Of course I could.
I go through his schedule and find his studio time on Friday and relay it to Mitch. I respond to another text from someone asking if he was going to a gala in a couple months—his schedule said he was in LA so no. I wondered if I would also be in LA in a couple months. I wonder what Grayson would think.
Grayson, I’d had a short call with him a few hours ago and tried not to cry hearing his voice. It felt like home when the whole day felt so foreign.
I stare at the final text. The contact photo is the side profile of a gorgeous woman.
“Kimberly wants to know if you want um,” I feel my cheeks burn. “If you’re inviting her in tonight because she has a party she really wants you to go to.”
“I can’t be arsed for a party I feel like shite.” Harry says, eyes still closed. “Tell her to be at mine after 10.”
“Ok.” I type the words with a racing heart. I remember the morning-after checklist for this exact scenario. It wasn’t going to be weird soon I guess.
I heat up dinner for Harry while he showers and leave letting him know what time I’d be in tomorrow. He doesn’t even say goodbye.
I get home around the time I reckon Kimberly gets to Harry’s. The first thing I do when I see Grayson is shed a waterfall and he holds my exhausted body tight against him.
“Are you sure you want to keep doing this?” He whispers to me in bed after a shower and sandwich—I couldn’t stomach anything more.
“I need this job Gray. It’s gotta get better.”
“I reckon but it’s a steep learning curve,” he says as he traces the curve of my nose.
“I know,” I snuggle closer to him and yawn. I don’t know what he says next as I tip into sleep.
***
If the notes app manual with the dos and donts of being Harry Styles’ PA was a physical thing, imagine me swallowing it.
Every spare second I had—which I didn’t get a lot of, I was reading that thing. My fingers searched tirelessly before every scheduled and unscheduled event. And yet, I’d fucked up so many times.
It was Saturday and I was looking forward to my day off.
He had been hot and cold all week but ever since getting back from Léon he’d been nicer and I’d actually been getting home before 8.
Maybe things were going well, despite the fact that the learning curve was like climbing mount everest.
“What’s my morning look like?” Harry asks. I was sitting at his kitchen table trying to book a dinner for him next week with a friend that was in town. A friend who also happened to be big back where I was from—I hoped to catch a glimpse of her myself.
I glance up and look back down just as quickly. After a week of seeing Harry in all sorts of undress I should be used to it, but my face still flushes. Today he stands at the table in running shorts.
“Pulling it up,” I say and scan his schedule even though I had it memorized. “You’ve got a meeting at the bank in about 40 minutes and lunch with Michael.”
“Can’t my accountant take the bank meeting?”
“She’ll be there. She’s meeting you downstairs to discuss the meeting on the ride over. You need to sign off on some stuff.”
“Stuff,” Harry repeats.
I look at him, careful to train my eyes on his face. I couldn’t tell if he was annoyed at my lack of elaboration or just teasing me.
“Documents.” I correct, still unable to tell.
He look amused. “Great. Documents. I thought I’d be signing body parts.”
Was he joking? He was joking…I think.
“Right. No, we’re saving that for the tattoo shop booked for 6.”
He raises his brows, a slow smile spreading across his face and like the sun coasting over the horizon he looks brighter and prettier.
“That’s mad, that people would get a random man’s signature tattooed on them isn’t it?”
It’s inevitable really, my eyes skim over his torso brimming with tattoos. He notices and laughs. It’s a wonderful laugh.
“I meant they don’t really know me.”
“They admire you and it’s a piece of you,” I shrug. “At least it’s not a portrait of your face.”
“I’ve seen that floating around the internet actually.”
“Really?!” Now that was mad. I pull it up on the laptop and cover my mouth.
“I know.” He hangs his head and we laugh. God, things were finally getting better. This was the kind of relationship I thought Harry would have with his PA.
I scroll through comments and it’s impossible to wipe the smile off my face. I’ve considered myself a fan for a lot of artists but tattooing their face…that was another level of commitment I couldn’t do.
I look back to Harry who has grown quiet. His eyes are on me.
“What happened to your blazers?”
I’d decided to wear a skirt today, it was my lucky skirt—the one I had been wearing when I got the call that the job was mine. It being the last work day of the week I thought it might make me feel good.
I’d paired it with a tank top and a comfy cardigan. I’d finally felt like myself compared to all the button ups and blazers I’d been parading in. But apparently Harry had noticed the wardrobe difference. Shocker because he barely acknowledged me this week.
“I thought I’d dress for a Saturday?” It comes out meeker than I’d hoped. Ugh. “I hope that’s alright. If you want me more professional-“
“That’s alright,” his eyes roam down my body and I feel hot all over. Oh god, I shouldn’t have worn this. “It looks good.”
“Thanks,” I cross my cardigan over my body and try to get back to work but he doesn’t let it end there.
“Did you make that yourself?”
He continues to surprise me, “I did actually, is it obvious?”
“Yeah there’s a big hole down the back,” he teases. I know he is because his eyes are smiling, light.
“Damnit,” I relax a little. He was only interested in the sweater. “I’d finished it late it looked okay in the dark.”
“I have a friend, she made one of those for me. With the patches. Very comfortable.” He’s weirdly intense while looking at me and I feel like squirming again.
“It is. Very stretchy.” My vocabulary seems to shrink.
He leans over to touch the fabric and I feel like a cactus has been stabbed into my neck, I feel hot and prickly. Jeez, I had to chill out. My employer was just interested in my sweater. Super interested. Maybe I should just give him the damn thing. It would definitely fit him.
“Wool,” he smiles. He’s basically perched above me and I think I’m going to have a heart attack. I went from complaining about the fact that he acted like I wasn’t in any room he was in to not even being able to hold a conversation when he did.
I’m caught looking up into his unfairly gorgeous eyes and he looks at me like I’m the only person in the room. Which I was in this instance, but still.
I’m saved by a loud voice coming out of the elevator.
“Harry you car is waiting downstairs.”
Like a book slammed shut, his expression retreats until all that’s left is the cover page with no summary. The friendly Harry from before is gone.
“Oi Harry! I had to come all the way upstairs because I’ve been sitting in that stupid car waiting! Do you not pick up your phone?”
“Lee,” Harry says as he walks across his living room. “If you can’t reach me you call my PA I’ve told you a million times.”
“And I’ve told you a million times not to keep me waiting. We have a lot to cover before we get to this meeting and I need every minute. God why are you shirtless go put on something appropriate!”
Harry miraculously does as he’s told—given I had already laid out an outfit for him. He’s ready in no time. His accountant, Lee? Simply smiles at me and goes back to typing on her phone while we wait.
“Why is that so wrinkled?” Lee judges Harry who walks out in a completely different outfit.
“I don’t have time to change again do I?” Harry bristles.
Lee looks over at me and I’m not sure if she’s accusing me of something or looking for support.
“Mr. Styles I did leave an outfit out for the m-“
“I don’t wear silk.” He cuts me off and walks out ahead. Lee shrugs my way and follows him. I trail behind, feeling worse than ever.
For a miserable hour and a half I sit in one of the most uncomfortable chairs of my life, organizing Harry’s life while I wait for his meeting to end. As hard as I try to concentrate, I keep agonizing over what I might have done wrong to flick his switch. I swear things were going better. And I know I’ve seen him in silk before. Why the hell else would it be in his closet? Why couldn’t I go a single day without screwing up?
I finally spot Harry walking out of the office and gather my things quickly to meet him. I trail behind as we walk down the hall into the lobby, Lee is nowhere to be seen.
A gasp catches my attention and suddenly a girl younger than me rushes up to Harry.
“Oh my…Harry Styles?”
Harry’s face morphs briefly into annoyance, his gaze flicking my way, before pasting on a smile for the girl.
What to do when a fan approaches H (in the wrong moment): be the bad guy, divert, get Harry to wherever he needs to go to and do it quick.
“Hi,” Harry smiles sweetly at her and the friendliness throws me off guard. But this was unexpected and I should get him away…I think.
“Oh my god could I get a picture? My mate is never going to believe this. She loves you so much, so do I-“
“We really have to be going.” I say and the girl looks at me, surprised to find me there. I look around and spot and older woman watching us. Must be her mum.
“Could I just get a picture?” She glances between us.
“I don’t think Mr-“
“It’s fine,” Harry hands me her phone. “Get a photo of us.”
Just another layer of humiliation to add to the rest of the day. The rest of the week. God was I just awful at reading cues?
I snap a couple and then we’re walking free.
He doesn’t say anything. The car ride to his lunch date is spent in awkward fucking silence and I hate myself more with every second I spend in it.
When the car stops at his destination he holds his hand up when I go to open the door for him.
“Listen -what's your name again?" He asks.
Shame and humiliation drip over me like blood on Carrie’s prom night. I repeat it for him. Just like I had daily since I was hired.
“Right. Y/n. You came highly recommended from a friend so I trust you know how to do this job. This job, is to keep my life organized and keep me on track. Make sure I'm not distracted or side tracked by anyone. Including you. It’s not to be my publicist or my fashion advisor or my personal security. Let's stick to the job description okay?"
His words land bitterly to my ears. Not personal. Just a job. Just a job. Just a fucking job. And yet it was starting to feel like my whole life.
“Yes of course.” I hear myself mumble. And like the big clown I had to be, I push open the door and get out so he can too. He walks to the restaurant without a goodbye and I crawl into the car, heading back to his place. Tears burn my eyes but I refuse to let them out. Refuse to admit just how badly this job hurt.
***
“I’m not doing this on purpose,” I hiss into the phone. “You know I’d be there right now if I could!”
“Babe I get it’s your job but you haven’t come to anything in over a month since you started your job!”
“That’s unfair,” I cup my hand over my mouth. “Gray c’mon I’m going to be there just late.”
“That’s what you said last weekend.”
Last weekend, one of our good friends invited a few friends for dinner in their new place and Greyson had had to go alone. Everyone had messaged me to say I was missed but Gray had been stony, pretended to be asleep when I got home and then given me the silent treatment until I wore him down the next day. It was exhausting begging for affection.
“It’s my job Grey I don’t know what else to tell you.”
“Me neither, you know my parents want us over for weekend roast some time but I’ve been avoiding giving them a date because I don’t want you to stand them up.”
“I-“ a shadow shifts in the corner of my eyes and I look up. Harry stands in the doorway. “I have to go we’ll talk later.”
“Whatever y/n,” Grey hangs up and my chest squeezes with all the hurt I was causing. But he saw the state I’d been in since I started this job a month ago and he knows this is just my life right now. Why was he suddenly acting like it was brand new information?
“Are you done your personal call?” Harry asks. He hovers in the doorway, I’d never actually seen him in this little office space. Then again, if he did step in there wouldn’t be much room for either of us to walk around each other.
“Sorry,” I hate myself for apologizing. Here and everywhere else in my life. But I have no other choice. “Can I do anything for you?”
“When are you heading out tonight?” He asks. His eyes glued to my face. I know my eyes are teary and I try to blink it away.
“Um, soon. In an hour or so,” blink blink blink. “Did you need anything from me before then?”
“Yes, I have a friend coming over tonight. Can you order us something for dinner. Something light. And get a bottle to chill for us—champagne. And can you push Monday’s cleaning service to tomorrow afternoon?”
“Consider it done.” I tell him, hoping he would just leave me alone in the dark here.
“Do you have evening plans?” He continues. Why did he never ignore me when I wanted him to!?
“Kind of yeah,” I try to keep it short. “A birthday.”
It was Grayson’s sister’s birthday. She had invited us to a local fave called The Violinist and of course I would only make it to the dessert course if I was lucky. These days, making it to dinner at all was a luxury. I lived off of sparkling water, leftovers, and coffee.
“Well best to finish up what you’re doing so you can head out.”
He leaves and I’m annoyed. Why couldn’t he be nice and just tell me to leave after doing what he asked. But here I sit folding fucking pamphlets for some idiotic pledge he had signed on for. Fuck me.
I’m miserable by the time I leave. I’d managed to finish everything in a half hour so I’d touched up my makeup and changed into a simple dress I had kept in the office closet on Riley’s suggestion.
“A simple black number that could be used for any last minute event.” He’d said. Unfortunately that now counted for personal events too.
“G’night Mr. Styles.” I call out as I walk to the foyer, just so he knows I was going out earlier than I said.
“G’night,” he answers surprisingly. He always ignored me but tonight he sits on the couch. He rises to see me off but I notice him pause and take in my outfit. “Fun night?”
“I hope so.” I unfold the blazer in my hand, suddenly wanting to disappear with his gaze on me.
His long legs walk to me and he takes the blazer I’m fidgeting with from my hands. He actually holds it open and if I wasn’t this exhausted my jaw would definitely be on the floor.
“Oh. Thank you,” I slip it on and turn to face him. As if helping me put it on wasn’t surprising enough, he proceeds to untuck my hair from the blazer.
“That’s alright,” he says in a low seductive tone. “You look nice. Are you dressed up for someone?”
The question is dangerous, toeing a line I’m not sure I want to erase. I try to ease things with a joke. “The birthday girl I guess.”
“A friend?”
“My fiancé’s younger sister.”
Was it just me, or does he bristle when I mentioned my fiancé?
“I didn’t know you were engaged,” he mumbles, glancing down at my hand. I wore a number of rings and I guess the small diamond Grayson had proposed with back when it was the most he could afford, blended in.
“Yeah, nearly a year now.”
“Wow,” he crosses his arms. “Have a date set?”
“Not exactly,” I smooth my hair behind my ears. “We’re thinking next year but we’ve just been so busy with out schedules-“
“What does he do?”
“He’s a personal trainer,” I say proudly.
“Oh,” Harry tilts his head back. “Oh. Now I understand. Now I get the connection. My mate Liam put in a good word for you when I needed a new PA, he said he knew you through his personal trainer. He never mentioned how.”
“I see,” I’d have to thank Liam next time I saw him. He’d been one of Grayson’s first big clients and had become a close friend to us. I’d have to thank him with dinner. If I got any nights off, that is.
“That’s who you were talking to on your personal call?” He asks, his hand tracing my shoulder seam down to my elbow. My heart races from the ghost of his touch.
“Erm yeah, sorry again. I had to take it since it was time sensitive.”
“Best to get going then.”
I take a step backwards and then rush to the elevator all at once. Once I’m on and the doors start to close I turn and catch a glimpse of his handsome face watching me go.
I let out a breath. That was weirdly heavy. And kind of intimate. But weird. That was weird.
I wonder briefly who he was having over tonight. If it was Kimberly, who I’d had the misfortune of meeting in her panties one morning. Or his other “friend” some brunette named Maya or Amaya something. I’d had the misfortune of meeting her when I dropped off a late package to Harry one evening. All were awkward encounters.
I shake away the thoughts and am grateful when Harry’s driver waves me down on the sidewalk. I guess Harry had told him to take me to where I needed to go. My heart is warmed ever so slightly, although I do accidentally nap on the 15 minute drive over.
I make it for the end of dinner and Gray looks relieved to see me even though his eyes hold a hint of something unspoken. I try to ignore it tonight.
“Oh you look beautiful!” I hug the birthday girl, and we sway from side to side. I used to see her a lot before she moved away for uni. “When did you stop being a baby, Josie Duran let me get a look at you.”
“Josefina tell her what you did for your 21st.” Gray says.
“Can you let it go!?” Josie scowls.
“What?” I whisper.
“Mom will kill you,” Gray warns.
“That’s why she doesn’t have to know,” Josie bites.
“Hey,” I put my hands up between the two. “No fighting with the birthday girl. Anyway. Josie, you look beautiful, I’m so sorry I’m late but it’s so good to be here.”
“Aw no don’t worry about it,” she goes in for another quick hug. “I’m just happy you got to come. Gray said the bloke you work for is a nightmare. Tell us do we know him?”
“Ah,” I wasn’t really supposed to talk about him according to my nda. “I dunno if you would. Anyway I’m going to try to steal some of Gray’s leftovers until dessert comes.”
I sit beside Gray where the seat had been left empty and smile up at him, hoping for forgiveness. He sighs and kisses my forehead, pushing his plate towards me.
“Go ahead, have you eaten?”
I had a banana and a yoghurt for lunch but I don’t tell him, just making a vague answer for yes and scarfing down what’s left.
“She got a tattoo,” he says in my ear later as the restaurant finishes singing happy birthday and a cake with sparklers is set down. He’d gotten tipsy and I can tell because he wants to talk about his upsets.
“She’s a grown woman Gray,” I know he was protective and a little traditional—that’s where half of their sibling fights originated, but I always told him he had to let loose a little. “She’s allowed to get it. If I remember you have some tattoos of your own.”
“It’s different y/n.”
“She’s getting older faster than we can keep up with huh?” I lean my head against Gray’s shoulder and let out a big sigh. It feels good, sitting with him here surrounded by friends. It had been a while.
Gray leans his head against mine and doesn’t answer. We watch her friends take pictures like proud parents, watching her cut and then distribute the cake. I should help, but I just could not lift a finger.
“Hey y/n, is that your phone going off?” Josie’s friend beside me points to my facedown phone.
“Is it?” I sit up, my heart doing a number in my chest.
I pick it up, 2 missed calls from Harry and 3 texts. Fuck.
“Leave it,” Gray must be looking over my shoulder. “You’ve gone home now just screw him.”
“I can’t,” I didn’t want Gray getting mad—I know he was kinda drunk and he could make a scene like this. I didn’t want to ruin Josie’s celebration. But I couldn’t ignore this. This is the first time Harry’s messaged me after I’ve gone home. “I’ll take it outside.”
On my way to the door I open the messages. A picture of a bucket filled with ice. A row of question marks. And then: call me
What? What was so urgent about a bucket of-
Oh.
Fuck.
I thought I did everything but I hadn’t. I’d filled the bucket with ice and meant to ask the Italian restaurant around the corner to deliver a bottle like they usually did for Harry but I hadn’t gotten to that part.
I feel like I’m going to vomit any dinner I just had.
I crouch down. Do I call him? Do I pretend I didn’t see this until too late? No. I had to face up. I fucked up.
Deep breaths. Deep breaths.
I call with shaking hands but it rings and rings and goes straight to voicemail. I try again.
I had to get back, get him the champagne. Fix my mistake.
“Y/N,” Grayson’s suddenly outside. “Aren’t you coming back in?”
“I can’t. I…” how do I explain this to my fiancé without it sounding minor as hell. “I forgot to mail some important documents and I need to get back-“
“It’s Saturday fucking night.”
“Yeah but-“
“And guess what?! Tomorrow’s Sunday! The mail’s going nowhere! Fuck that wanker and come back in.”
Gray holds out his arms and I want to go back in but I need to fix this mistake.
I grasp his hand and he smiles, misunderstanding why I held it, “Gray I have to go-“
He pulls his hand away, a sneer on his face. It hurts when he looks at me that way, like I betrayed him.
“I showed up! I celebrated, I got here Gray I just have to-“
“You were barely here! Do you know how upset she was when I said you couldn’t make it?”
“Well why did you say that!?” I demand. “I told you I was only going to be late!”
“I can’t trust that!” He shouts and I try to pull his arm so he quiets but he doesn’t seem to care there are people around. “Your time is all his, every single fucking second! And when you’re not there your brain is going a million bajillion times over about him and his life. Even when you’re with me! What the fuck! What’s up with that!?”
“Gray I’m sorry look I’ll make it up to you tomorrow. I swear. I’ll make it up to your sister I-“
“I don’t care y/n,” Gray slips his arm out of my grasp. “Do whatever you want. Nothing I say matters anymore anyway right?”
“Gray,” tears streak my face as I watch the man I love go back inside without another look my way.
Fuck Harry.
I try to call him again but voicemail. Again. Fuck!
What to do when you make a mistake: admit to it—Harry appreciates accountability. FIX IT! As much as you can. FIX YOUR MISTAKES OR FACE CONSEQUENCES.
An alert that my uber was here pings my phone—I take the ride to the restaurant and grab an already chilled bottle. I book it to Harry’s building and ride the elevator up, every floor causing a further dip in my stomach.
The doors open to a dimly lit space. There’s music playing, something jazzy, and it smells like…vanilla? Vanilla roses?
“Hol-hold on,” I hear Harry chuckle. A head pops up from the other side of the sofa.
“Y/n?” He looks as confused as I am.
Oh my god, I realize as a giggle comes from the floor. They were on the fucking floor of the living room? They were on the floor of the living room f…what the fuck did I walk into?
“Just back with this,” I squeak, holding up the bottle.
“Harry did you invite someone else?” The voice asks from below with another laugh. He sighs, disappearing again. I hear a very distinct wet noise before he pops back up again, I look at the doors of the elevator trying even harder not to give in to the panic attack that was looking more and more tempting.
“What are you doing here?” Harry approaches me with a softened voice. Wearing a robe. A silk robe. I knew he wore silk.
“You called—the bottle I’m sorry it totally slipped my mind I-“
“I told you to call me?”
“I did, you didn’t pick up! I thought I should swing by-“
“I thought you had a party?” His forehead scrunches.
“I…” the pieces come together. Did I take this too seriously because Harry didn’t even look angry? Great. I was an idiot and proving to Harry I had no life. “It ended. Early. I…I wanted to fix my mistake and bring the bottle.”
He takes it from my hand, still confused. “Y/N.”
I wait for him to continue but he doesn’t. And lord, in this climate with him in just a robe hearing my name on his lips is not okay. I was going to pass out.
“I’ll leave.” I go back to the elevator but he starts talking again.
“I asked you to call me so I could ask-“ he stops when I turn back around to listen. He closes the gap between us again with a sigh, and I don’t realize my face was still streaked with tears. It was probably more noticeable in the elevator light. He takes his finger and swipes across my cheek, his brows furrowing.
“Sorry,” I swipe my cheek to remove the remaining evidence. “I’ll leave you to it.”
He clears his throat and takes a step back. “Thank you for coming back.”
I nod.
“If you’re going to leave early next time, make sure you finish everything I’ve asked you to do. Don’t skip out like this again.”
“Yes yeah of course,” I stutter, relieved to fit back into our usual roles. For a second there, I thought Harry was going to be kind. And that would have been way worse.
“Good night Y/N. See you Monday.”
“Good night Mr. Styles.”
Gray’s not home by the time I get back. I wake the next morning to his side untouched.
So I do the only thing that felt good these days, I curl up into a ball and cry.
***
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vandnana · 1 year
Text
In Love With The Enemy [I]
Chapter 1: Why So Blue?
pairing: lo’ak x female turned na’vi reader
summary: during the time when jake became toruk makto, you were quaritch’s youngest and most valued soldier, the daughter he never had. but, pandora changed you and you died during the final battle, betraying quaritch and wishing that you had been able to do more. now, you have been reborn again, as a na’vi, tasked with quaritch’s new military avatar crew to kill Jake Sully. taking advantage of this second chance at life, you help the Sullys and fall in love along the way.
genre: fluff, angst ~ slow burn, pining on lo’ak’s part 
highlights: [lo’ak already having a crush on the reader after LITERALLY almost trying to kill her, jake and reader have their tearful reunion!, quaritch still in his toxic dad era, and lo’ak admiring reader in the bioluminescence of the forest]
word count: 9,332
note: hello! thank you all again for waiting for this part! a couple things...when i was writing, i got soo carried away, but i couldn’t help writing in moments of reader with lo’ak in their first encounters cause shes totally intrigued and he has an effect on her, but both of them are in that awkward staring phase??? with that being said, i hope you enjoy!!
[Prologue] [chapter 2]
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Light infiltrated your senses, invading your shut eyes as you heard voices around you, the sounds distant at first, but slowly heightening as you came to. Opening them, the fluorescent lights stunned you, your hand instinctively finding its way to the front of your face. You pulled it away, the sight so shocking that you figured you were in hell, punished to be what you had failed to protect.
You were blue, a Na’vi, adorned in hospital gowns with wires attached all over your body. 
You felt sharp pains in your head and pangs in your heart, endless memories flooding your mind in swarms, the happiness, the pain, the loss...you remembered it all as you took in your surroundings. 
You got up instantly, pulling off the wires as you searched around, your vision becoming less blurry as you continued to blink. 
You looked for Grace first before you realized she was gone, murdered by your father, the agony once cauterized now festering into an open wound as the memory sunk stones in your heart. You were looking around for Jake, Norm and, Trudy, but they were nowhere to be found. You were alone, heartbroken, and confused. 
“Whoo! Looks like the baby’s awake!” You heard from behind the door, other blue figures walking in wearing full camo, all of them strutting over to you. 
In your newly awakened shock, you had a delayed reaction to your body just waking up, your muscles suddenly feeling like jelly as you kept yourself steady on the bed with your hands. As everyone filed in, you hoped that at least one of them would be Jake, but you sunk your shoulders as you realized who they were.
Wainfleet, Warren, Zdinarsk, and Fike. They were the soldiers you grew up training with, all cut from the same obnoxious and arrogant rock. 
Wainfleet shook your shoulders, laughing loudly as he looked at your expression, your teeth gritted as you did your best to hide how much you despised all of them, “Hey y/n, why so blue?”
The rest of them laughed aloud with him, and you rolled your eyes, pushing him off you aggressively, which only made him erupt with more laughter, “Still as feisty as ever.” Wainfleet sighed. 
Lagging behind, one last person walked through the door, and unlike the rest of the regiment, he was wearing hospital gowns like you were. When he turned toward you, you recognized him right away.
It was Quaritch, your father, the man you owed your life to when you were human. 
But it wasn’t really him. 
He had become his worst nightmare and in seeing him, you were convinced that you really had been damned to hell. He was Na’vi too and a real sight for sore eyes, his movements awkward and almost repulsed as he approached, like he wanted to jump out of his own skin. The only comfort that he seemed to take refuge in was seeing you, his daughter, his prodigy.
He hugged you and for the first time, he smiled. “My little girl, real nice to see you.”
You hardly shared the same sentiment, the comfort you should have felt replaced by torment and pain. Your memories with your father were consumed by both, and in that moment, that was all you could feel. It was rare for him to ever hug you like this. You never felt any warmth from his embraces, just a temporary sense of relief that you had done something right, that you didn’t disappoint him. You had endured it all your life, desperately clinging to the good things he did, your gratefulness to him for saving you from a worthless life overwhelming any rational thought.
Your father seemed to be the one savoring the feeling of holding you, the roles unexpectedly reversed as he, for the first time in his life, clung to you, like you were the only tether to who he once was. 
Before, you would have considered yourself lucky, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and savoring that feeling. But as you sat on the bed, you kept your arms at your sides and your eyes glued to the ceiling, biting your cheek as you fought every urge to give into your anger, to push him off you and make him pay for what he did to Grace. 
You took a deep breath in, relaxing as you faced forward again, “I’d be stupid to believe that we were brought back for a simple reunion. Why are we here? And how are we avatars?” You had a firm tone, almost emotionless besides your lifted syllable at the end to indicate your question.
Quaritch let go of you, a proud, satisfied grin on his face as he pulled back, “Perceptive as always.” 
He crossed his arms, “All of us got our ticket punched the last time we were on Pandora, and for the sins of our past we have been brought back to life in the form of our enemy to complete one simple task.”
“What’s the mission?” You remained stoic, mirroring your father as you crossed your arms. 
He chuckled lightly, his tone suddenly confident as his eyes reflected his renewed sense of purpose, “We’ve been ordered to eliminate the leader of the Na’vi insurgency known as Toruk Makto.”
The emotion you held in burst out in the surprise you showed in your widened eyes. Unfolding your arms, you felt a flit of relief settle in your heart, “Jake’s alive?” 
He turned his head, the rest of your regiment whooping with excitement, their smirks irradiating a sinister aura as they gathered around your father. 
“That’s right, y/n. Sully’s alive.” Your father gloated, his eyes ferocious with vengeance, “And we’re gonna kill him.”
He gave you no chance to protest, walking out with the rest of the regiment as he pointed to the clothes beside you, “Now, go on and get dressed. We got an hour before Pandora insertion.” 
You grabbed the clothes from the table, your hands tightening around them and your breathing ragged as you could feel your frustrations finally spill out. 
You had been born again, but at what cost? 
The same people that sent you to Pandora were the same people that made an unholy decision, reaching into the past and plucking you out of the comfort of death just to reclaim the glory they still believed was theirs.
When you had awoken, you had figured you had damned yourself for all eternity, and in learning about your new mission, you were right. You were thrust back into your own nightmare, a horrible repeat of the life you had once known, your orders betraying what you had in your heart, just like it did before.
You wanted no part in reclaiming glory and rewriting your father’s failure, but it was the only reason why your heart was even beating. Your mind was only just catching up on your grief, the loss so fresh and so vivid that you felt guilty to have that heartbeat. 
You were the Colonel’s daughter. 
Why did you deserve to live when Grace was dead? Why did you get a second chance at life when your only reason for breathing was to destroy Jake?
Everything about your life now was born from selfishness, the selfishness of Sky People that had no respect for philosophies regarding life and wholly disregarded the notions that dead things should stay dead.
You didn’t know what happened to Trudy or Norm, but you naturally thought the worst, and that made your mere existence even more unbearable. You weren’t sure how long it had been since you died, but for you, you never felt that time pass, never felt the pain of being gone from those you love. It felt cruel to be alive, the torment of it aching you as you thought of how Jake must have felt when you died and how much it must have hurt. 
You looked up, your eyes catching a glimpse of your reflection in the metal lining of the walls. You touched your face lightly as you stared, so bewildered by how you looked. You weren’t the old you anymore, only the shell of your humanity in the semblance of your features. 
And for the first time since you woke, you smiled, “If only Grace could see me now.” You mumbled to yourself, the sadness of losing her still lingering behind the calm that settled over you at having thought about her. 
You got up, finally deciding to change out of your gowns, and you could have sworn you heard Grace’s voice in the back of your mind, telling you what she always loved to tell you, how you were smarter than you let yourself believe and how you had a heart bigger than the soldiers you were surrounded by.
You took a look at yourself again, those words that felt as if they were just spoken yesterday shrouded over you. It felt unfair to be alive, and that guilt was deep inside of you, but you pushed that feeling aside as your own sense of purpose triumphed over it.
Whatever it took, whatever you needed to do, you were going to save what was left of your family.
You were going to save Jake. 
~
It was two minutes until Pandora insertion, your breather on as you waited for your descent onto the planet. You were quiet, keeping to yourself as you rode along with everyone else, absorbing every detail of the plans until you could figure out the best way to help Jake. 
When you had finally reached the ground, the hatch opened and getting up, you walked out, expecting to find yourself surrounded by the forest you loved so much. 
Pulling your breather off though, your smile dropped, your eyes unwilling to process the inconceivable truth. In front of you was the reckoning of humanity in full form, its destructive touch creating an unhallowed grave of the once-rich earth below it. Flashbacks filled your mind as you remembered your early life on earth, the desecration of the forest mirroring the desolation that you had escaped when you left for Pandora. Sky People had killed their Mother, holding onto the little that she could provide before finally destroying Her integrity.
Back then, Selfridge was all about the money, and while greed was still very much a part of the new frontier you had found yourself in, humanity’s motives had suddenly become desperate for something else--a new home.
The air no longer held a healthy vigor, a gray density taking its place and expelling a putrid, metallic smell that filled your nose. You were in horrid disbelief, the sight in front of you giving reason to the smell as you rubbed your eyes, still not wanting to believe that the damnation in front of you was real. You were witnessing an entire infestation, complete with insect-shaped machina, their hardware programmed to build the towers and towers of future buildings that would make up what would be known as Bridgehead City. 
Behind you, you felt slight relief to see that forest still remained in the distance, but with how quickly the machina bugs were building, it was only inevitable that their work would continue southward and beyond. The General in charge, General Ardmore, although satisfied with the progress that they had made in a year, was still taking losses thanks to Jake’s raids, his forces the only reason that the land had not been fully conquered.
You were looking at the footage from his recent raid, Ardmore’s hands on her hips as she explained the situation, “Jake’s raids are becoming bolder and more frequent.”
Putting a hand on your chin, you let out a weak chuckle, “Looks like Sully’s giving you a run for your money.”
Wainfleet nudged you in the ribs with a disapproving look, but you shoved him away, crossing your arms, “I’m only speaking the truth. He was a Marine, guys. I’m not surprised. He knows exactly how you all think.” Your tone was condescending as you glared at General Ardmore, who seemed to only tolerate your consistent interruptions.
She glared back at you, “Are you questioning my methods, Lieutenant?”
Quaritch was taken aback, putting a hand up to your chest, to stop you from continuing. You looked at your father and defiantly you spoke again. “I am questioning your methods, General. You may have been able to tame this frontier in a year with your bionic bugs, but these...savages with their bows and arrows still have you all by the balls.”
She scoffed, “I’d watch that tone, Lieutenant,” She paused as you kept your glare on her, and she turned, another holographic projection of the Hallelujah Mountains emerged, “Although, what you said does hold some truth. We’ve come to believe that he’s holed up somewhere in these mountains within one of its cave systems, but every time we go up there, we take losses. Can’t be more than ten minutes in enemy airspace without stirring up the hornets’ nest.”
You watched as helicopters were swarmed with hoards of ikran, and you were instantly fascinated, your mind querying the possibility of such a hive mind response by animals, “How odd. They never used to do that before.”
“Our only hope of finding Jake’s base is you guys. We think that you will be perceived as indigenous and won’t trigger the immune response, but that’s only our theory.” General Ardmore 
“And how might we test that theory?” You asked, crossing your arms.
Tight-lipped, she sucked a breath in, “The hard way.” 
Quaritch snickered, a cocky smirk on his face, “Outstanding.” 
“Good. No time to waste. Let’s fly.” She replied with a pleased grin.
Ardmore ordered for a helicopter to be prepped and escorted you toward the hangar. When you entered it, the pilot was just getting into the helicopter and you instantly thought of Trudy, your best friend who loved to raid the caf late at night with you and begged you to fly with her all those years ago.
Quaritch interrupted your thoughts as he pulled you back, “What’s wrong with you? You don’t talk to your superiors like that again, you understand me?”
Reluctantly you nodded, “Yes sir. I understand.” 
“You better. Now get in.” He let go of your arm, motioning for you to enter the helicopter. 
Wainfleet had a dumb smile on his face, asking curiously, “Where we headed first, Colonel?”
“Where it all started.” He replied, his eyes lighting up with his inspired rage, “W
Touching down on one of the mountains, a stream of nostalgia flowed through you as your mind replayed the first day you had ever landed there with Trudy. Site 26 was only a couple meters away, but each step was like a remnant of the past, scenes flashing in front of you as if you were only there yesterday. 
You suddenly felt like you were home once again. 
The forest had grown so much, the plant life around you like a warm blanket as the trees enveloped your figure everywhere you went. The soft earth squished down as you took a step while the intertwining branches and brambles gave you a hearty challenge as you maneuvered. Your ears twitched at the range of sounds, some delicate and others obvious, those ones keeping the rest of your crew on edge, their guns readied pointedly in every direction.
You were merely keeping protocol, not planning on shooting anything as you trudged carefully through the forest. Even with all that you had learned about Jake, you still had no plan. Any hope you had of going out to find him alone was futile, knowing that Quaritch would notice your absence instantly.
Approaching Site 26, Wainfleet took his place beside your father, joining him as they both stepped into the clearing. You hesitated, yet to brush past the infiltrating brush as the gaps in the leaves gave you a skewed view of the shack, which had clearly been abandoned, any sign of life nonexistent. 
You could hear slight rustling in the trees, the movement calculated and quick. Craning your neck, you looked upward, catching an unmistakable shimmer of blue as you watched the figure of a young man maneuver behind a thicket of green foliage above.
There was no use in hiding, you had already seen him and in his boldness, he brushed the leaves away, staring down at you with his bow already drawn back in his hand, and behind him was a younger girl, the side of her face only visible to you. 
As he continued to look at you, you put your gun down, your figure still as you squinted up at him, his face holding so much familiarity to you that you fell silent.
He was unusually hesitant to kill you, convincing himself that he was only being strategic, but truthfully, he just thought you were pretty, unable to contain a  flush in his face. The younger girl he was with, looked up at him, her eyebrows furrowed as she watched his odd behavior. He looked hardly older than you, but you still couldn’t figure out who he was, and you knew that the longer they were there, the more danger they were in.
You put your hands up, whispering as you spoke to them in Na’vi, “You both shouldn’t be here. Go back. They’ll kill you if they see you.”
He kept his bowstring taut, conflicted as he faced you, his voice barely audible as he whispered, “Why not let them kill my ass then?”
“I’m not your enemy.” You replied simply.
Quaritch looked over, seeing your figure behind the brush, calling you through his telecom device, “You got eyes on something, y/n?”
Placing your fingers on your own device, the young man drew his bow back again upon instinct, “No sir.” You shook your head, “There’s nothing but trees here.”
Giving them both one last glance, you made your way into the clearing, the young man’s eyes following you as you left, glued to you as you made your way to your father.
“Why are you just staring, Lo’ak? You heard her. We should go.” She pulled at him, trying to get him to budge.
“Not yet Tuk. I have to see what they’re up to.” He warned, glancing at her from the side and shushing her.
Carefully, he advanced forward, climbing to a higher branch with Tuk following behind him quietly. From a higher spot, Lo’ak watched as you, Quaritch, and Wainfleet gathered near your father’s AMP suit.
You were towering over it, your father frowning as his eyes were glued to his own battered skeleton staring back at him like an undead taunt. He put his hand on the arrows sticking out of his body, the two of them embedded into his chest mocking him scornfully too.
You looked down at the AMP suit, a relic of your father’s failure and you noticed his dogtags, pulling them off his skeleton. Your father always wore his, but he always had a copy of yours too. Handing them to him, he took them, his fingers gently brushing the metal and reading the engravings before he put them around his neck.
He looked up at you, “Check the old shack. Wainfleet and I are gonna look around some more.” 
You nodded, obeying the order. Pushing away the vines, you hopped in through the broken window. You were too big to stand tall, crouching as your eyes settled on everything, no longer seeing the reality of the wreckage in front of you, but rather the scenes of your memories. 
You felt as if you had traveled in time, back to the best days of your old life as you trailed your hands along the pods and going further toward the west-end you stopped, seeing your old bunk. You had decorated the frame with a few pictures and removing them, you wiped the dust away.
You held them up to the peeking light in the shack as you traced your hands over the pictures. One of them was just of you and Jake flipping off the camera, making you laugh to yourself. The other was your whole family, you squished between Jake and Grace, Norm and Trudy standing behind you, all of you grinning widely, your happiness caught in the stillness of one shot. 
That was the thing about happiness, it could vanish in an instant, the once pristine shack you had always remembered disappearing as you were faced with the reality of what it actually was. You were in a wreckage, your despair sinking into the broken glass that littered the floor. You hugged the pictures to your chest, savoring the memories before putting them in your pocket.
“Roll out, roll out! We got movement!” An urgent shout rang from outside.
Hopping back out, you followed after Wainfleet and the Colonel, both of them charging toward the forest.
Multiple shots were fired as you navigated through the forest floor and above, you saw the two Na’vi that you had seen earlier, frantically running through the branches and dodging bullets. 
Climbing up the tree, you chased after them, hoping to put enough distance between them and the rest of the regiment, “Ardmore was clear about what she wanted. If they know where Sully is, these two are no good to us dead.”
You were pleading on the side of reason and logic, lying through your teeth as you pretended to be on board with a mission that you only saw as immoral insanity. 
Quaritch rattled off commands, “Secure the girl! We only need one of them to draw Sully out. Kill the other one if you have to.”
You were catching up to the both of them, impossibly fast as you navigated through the branches, keeping your balance as you hopped from one to another. The younger one looked behind her, her foot suddenly catching on one of the branches and and sending her plummeting to the ground below with a hard thump.
Watching her fall felt like everything was happening in slow motion, your mind teetering on what to do as you continued to run after the young man, watching as Zdinarsk and Warren took her by the arms, dragging her off toward the shack per your father’s orders.
“In pursuit of the Na’vi male. No need for back up.” You quickly let out in your telecom, sprinting toward the young man as he was about to jump off the branch.
You tackled him, his back landing harshly on the bark as he yelled for his sister, “Tuk!” 
His eyes immediately went to you, enraged as he hissed at you first, maneuvering himself from under you and pushing you into the bark, his hands pinning your arms down.
“I’m trying to save you both.” You retorted, kicking from underneath him, inflicting a sharp pain in his legs that loosened his grip.
“Like hell you are. I should have killed you when I had the chance.” He wrestled you down again, but you punched him hard, catching him off guard as he placed his finger to his lips, now bloodied.
“Then you’d be dead and so would she.” You spat, grabbing his arm and securing him onto his back once more, your grip on him strong as he fought you off with all his might. 
You brought your knife to his neck, forceful as you pushed it against his skin, “I’m not your enemy.” His eyes were fearless, challenging you as you stared into his eyes. 
You huffed, lifting your knife from him and striking the bark so close to his ears that you nicked him slightly, blood drawing from where you had caught him.
You put a firm hand on his chest, catching your breath as you calmly talked to him, “I don’t want to fight you, okay?”
He placed his hands on your waist, swiping his leg from underneath yours to press you back into the bark, his eyes narrowed at you, his face smug, “Then what do you want to do? Dance?” 
You scoffed at his arrogance, “I want to help you.” You put a finger on his forehead, your teeth gritted, “You need to get it through your thick skull that if I wanted to kill you, you’d be dead already.”
“I need to save my sister.” He was panting, still stubbornly persistent, but in his desperation, reluctantly loosened his aggressive grip on you.
You lifted yourself up too, your face so dangerously close to his as you glared at him. “You have no fear. I see it in your eyes. But that won’t save you or your sister. Even with all that courage, you have no chance against my regiment. Not alone at least.”
Your voice sent goosebumps down his whole body, his cheeks reddening as he tightened his jaw. He scoffed listening to you, his pride too great to acknowledge that truth. You stood up, putting a hand out. He hesitated to take it, and you rolled your eyes, leaning down to pull him up. He blinked at you, the feeling of your hands in his warm and kind, a sudden stark difference to how they felt when you were fighting.
You had a determined expression on your face, your speech hurried as you cautiously looked around you, “I’ll keep your sister safe. You have my word, but I can only think of one person who’ll know how to deal with my regiment.”
He sighed, your hands still intertwined, “Who?”
“Your Olo’eyktan, Jake Sully. My father, Colonel Quaritch, has orders to kill him, and your sister is his best bet at drawing him out.”
The young man’s face paling in shock, his mouth parted in utter disbelief, “Why does your father want to kill mine?”
You withdrew your hand, blinking as your brain could hardly process what he had just said, his reason for feeling so familiar slowly being committed to truth. In your shock, your mouth spewed your thoughts in an almost inaudible whisper, your face paling as you stared at him, “Had I really been dead that long?”
You couldn’t help but stare at him and looking down, you scolded yourself for not noticing his hands before, too encapsulated by that initial familiarity you felt about him. 
He tilted his head, squinting at you, “How do you know him?” 
“Look I-” You began, but your father’s voice in your ear interrupted you, startling you out of your deep thought, “Y/n, what’s your traffic?”
Putting your hands to your telecom you answered, “Returning to the rally point.”
You grabbed your knife that was stuck in the branch frantically, giving the young man one last look, soft and reassuring even amidst your seriousness, “Don’t worry about your sister. You have to go now! Hurry!”
Without another word, you jumped off the branch, your pocket snagging on it and sending the photos you had put in them flying into the air. The young man caught them in his hands, and seeing you, he was taken aback. He had seen your face before, but as he searched his mind, he found nothing to satisfy your mystery. Taking a deep breath, he cleared his head, pocketing the photos as he ran in the opposite direction of the shack, calling his ikran and darting away back to base.
When you had arrived at the shack, Tuk was bound to a nearby tree branch while Fike held her by her hair, ignoring her squirms as she tried to keep her cries silent. 
Quaritch walked over to you with a satisfied grin, patting you on the shoulder, “We got a prisoner thanks to you, but you were gone a while. That savage didn’t give you a hard time, did he?”
“No, sir. I let him go.” You responded simply.
“You what?” Quaritch yelled at you, furious.
“What good would he be dead? Eclipse is almost nearing and we’re in enemy airspace. We don’t have time for a full night-op. If I had let killed him, then who would be the one to tell Jake?” You argued back, your voice poised as you spoke.
“And how can you be so sure they won’t just leave this brat to die?” Wainfleet interjected, the question marking curiosity in everyone.
You glared at Wainfleet, biting your cheek as you hesitated for a moment. You didn’t want to reveal their identities, but with how bloodthirsty they looked, you knew that they were practically begging for any excuse to kill her. 
You sighed, “They’re his children.”
Quaritch’s expression turned sinister, his eyes lowering toward Tuk, whose face was scrunched up in fear, “Is that right? This is Sully’s kid?”
You nodded, your father awed by his own dumb luck as he looked up at the sky, laughing, “It must be my lucky day.”
Looking back at you, he put a hand on your shoulder, “I’m calling for extraction. We take her on board if Sully’s late.”
Calling the general through the telecom, he confirmed the helicopter’s arrival and turning toward the clearing, he called out, “Lyle!” 
Wainfleet, rushed over to him, your father pointing to the suit, “See if you can pull some data off that suit, and y/n, keep an eye on our prisoner.” 
You nodded, walking over to her as your father and Wainfleet disappeared into the clearing once more. 
Fike who was snickering as he watched Tuk squirm stopped once you cleared your throat, “Piss off. I’m sure you’re tired of daycare duty.”
Fike let go willingly, “My arm was getting kind of tired. Thanks.” He replied jokingly. 
He walked over to the others, talking amongst themselves loudly. You crouched beside the girl, who hissed at you, her pain manifesting itself in her eyes.
You remembered her name as you tried to comfort her, “Tuk, your brother is safe. You don’t need to be scared.”
Hearing her hiss, Zdinarsk was about to stomp over, but you stopped her, covering Tuk’s mouth with your hand. She turned around again, slinging her arm around Fike’s shoulders as she continued the conversation.
When she finally looked away, you took your knife out, tampering with the binds on her hands and loosening the seal, “I sent your brother to find your dad. He was once of the Sky People, but now he is Na’vi. Only he can stop them. Do you understand?”
She couldn’t believe what you were doing, her gaze darting from you to her wrists, you continued to talk soothingly, “When the time is right, you’ll be able to get out of those no problem.”
“Is my dad really coming?” She sniffled, her expression begging for you to be telling the truth.
You met her eyes kindly, “Yes. He is. I made sure that he would. And as long as you’re here with me, you’re safe.”
She relaxed, her expression relieved, a smile adorning her face finally, “Thank you for helping me and Lo’ak.” 
You smiled at her warmly, “Ah, so that’s your brother’s name.” She nodded and you couldn’t help but chuckle, remembering your fight on the branches, “I’m y/n.”
“Y/n. That’s pretty. How did you know my name?” Tuk asked innocently.
“I heard Lo’ak call you. Your name is pretty too.” 
She blushed, “Thank you.” 
She looked at her wrists, “How will I know when the time is right?”
Returning your knife to where it was, you put a hand on her shoulder, “You’ll know, Tuk.” You smiled, “Your dad knows how to make an entrance.” 
As you looked at her, you saw more of her parents in her. You had been so focused on the thought of being brought back to life, that you didn’t even bother to notice how long you really had been dead. You felt it first looking at Lo’ak, but it had finally sunk into you. 
It felt surreal, and as you sat on the soft, rich soil, you realized that you had probably died somewhere in the forest, your body a relic of the past just like your father’s was.
Quaritch walked out of the brush with a disgruntled expression, his eyes irradiating with an unkempt rage. When you saw him, you stood up, placing yourself between him and Tuk.
"What happened? Why are you-” You stopped as your father pushed past you, kneeling as he put a knife to Tuk’s throat.
He pulled her head back, seething, “Listen here little girl, the only reason why you’re breathing now is because I wanna see your father’s face when I kill you.”
Tuk froze, petrified as fear overtook her body, so stunned that she couldn’t even utter a whimper. 
“What the hell are you doing? She’s just a child!” You yelled at your father, something you had never done before, the height of your voice making him lift his grip on her. 
Slowly he ascended, his eyes squinted at you in disbelief, “I don’t care if she’s a child. She’s his. Sully’s gonna pay for what he did to us. To our family. Nothing’s over. Not while we’re breathing.”
The hatefulness in his words trapped you as you felt his manic desperation suck the fresh air around you, the world feeling as if it was sinking into abysmal darkness as you couldn’t shield the horror in your eyes.
He took the dogtags you had given him earlier and put them around your neck, “This Na’vi blood’s making you soft. You wear this as a reminder, y/n, a reminder of who you are and where you came from.”
Quaritch stomped off, barking orders to Fike as he left the perimeter, leaving you with those dogtags on your neck, mocking you. You clasped your hands around the dogtags wanting to rip them off your neck and cast them far from you, but you stopped yourself, your shoulders sinking as you sat beside Tuk again.
Your expression matched the darkening sky, the light that cascaded through the trees slowly succumbing to eclipse, and unsure of how to comfort you, Tuk put her hands over yours, your hearts anxious for what was ahead.
~
“Where’s your sister, Lo’ak? Where’s Tuk?” Jake yelled, his tone abrasive as he aggressively took his son by the shoulders, Neytiri behind him, her eyes filled with worry. 
His brother Neteyam went to his side while his other sister Kiri took the other, both of them teeming with worry. 
 Lo’ak brushed them both off as he made eye-contact with his father, the urgency in his voice showing in his hurriedness, “Colonel Quaritch. He took her, but this girl, she’s keeping her safe and she told me to find you.”
Jake squinted at his son, enraged by such nonsense. He raised his voice in anger, “What the hell are you talking about? Quaritch? A-a girl? That’s impossible. Answer the goddamn question, Lo’ak! Where is your sister?”
"Where is Tuk?” Neytiri repeated, the slowness in her voice giving intense warning as she glared at him.
“Tuk is at the shack, but you have to listen to me, dad. They’re all avatars. They were wearing camo and they had guns.”
Jake and Neytiri looked at one another, unwilling to believe such a nightmarish thing. Still, they were sure of one thing. Tuk was gone, and whether they believed what Lo’ak had said, it didn’t matter. They’re daughter’s life was on the line.
“Let’s go get our daughter.” Jake said to his mate, who nodded, calling her ikran, Jake doing the same.
Lo’ak reached the edge of the camp, mounting his ikran and almost darting off before Kiri and Neteyam showed up at his side.
Kiri groaned in annoyance, “What are you doing? You’re gonna get in trouble!”
Neteyam grabbed Lo’ak’s arm, glaring, “Don’t, Lo’ak.”
Lo’ak shoved him off, mounting his ikran, “Just come with me and stop being such a wuss.”
Lo’ak flew off, Neteyam grunting as he followed his brother, cursing at him under his breath.
Eclipse had finally taken over the sky and with it came a steady rainfall, giving Jake and Neytiri an advantage. Neteyam and Lo’ak followed not long after, and in his fury, commanded them to both stay by the ikrans, Neteyam reluctantly obeying, while Lo’ak agreed halfheartedly.
Jake and Neytiri moved in silence, calculating every move with precision. Neytiri took to the trees and Jake covered the ground, his tomahawk firmly ready in his hand. Carefully and silently, Jake disarmed the soldiers guarding the perimeter while Neytiri waited for the opportune moment to strike. 
Everyone else took their positions when dusk fell, the usual calm of the forest becoming eerie, the slight movements of the nature surrounding you making the crew jumpy, their guns at the ready, expectant of any attack. Earlier, when no one was looking, you loosened the binds around her wrists, telling her that when the time was right, she would be able to escape easily.
Tuk kept that in mind, her eyes glued to her wrists as she waited that perfect time. The noises around you had been constant, the rain, the occasional rustling of the leaves, certain animal calls. But, a new sound broke in the wind, making your ears twitch. Tuk heard it loud and clear, looking up at you, and you understood what the sound was. It was a call, a signal that Jake had finally come. 
After the wake of that new sound, the unmistakeable twang of an arrow burst through the thick air, sending Fike backwards and killing him instantly. Bullets rang through the air from another direction, sending the other soldiers flying to the ground. Tuk, who had figured this was the perfect time to set herself free, squeezed her hands through the binds and ran in the opposite direction of the fire, screaming when she ran into someone, but sinking with relief when she realized it was Lo’ak and Neteyam.
Neteyam took Tuk into his arms, holding her as Lo’ak grabbed her by the shoulder, “Where’s the girl, the girl that helped us?” He asked her.
Tuk pointed opposite his direction, “Y/n! She’s over there!”
Lo’ak, without any hesitation ran toward where Tuk had pointed, carefully maneuvering as he approached. 
You and the rest of the soldiers took cover as bullets continued to sweep the forest floor, bullets that you knew could only be coming from Jake. 
Quaritch, who had taken cover behind a log, saw the arrow, his voice sinister as he attempted to draw her out. “Is that you Mrs. Sully?”
She instantly recognized the voice, but she kept a poised anger, despite the ghostly chill she felt down her spine, “I will kill you as many times as I have to, demon.”
Quaritch huffed out cockily, reloading his weapon, “Looks like you’ve been busy while I’ve been gone, but don’t worry Mrs. Sully. Pretty soon, you won’t have a family to protect.”
Looking at Warren and Wainfleet, Quaritch gave his signal, the two of them putting their eyes in their scopes to search for Neytiri as he continued to talk, taunting her with unbearable arrogance.
She was stuck where she was, any movement marking her for death as guns in all directions were targeting her. You used your scope to watch your crew intently from the opposite side. Warren’s eyes were fixed on the trees, and you knew he caught sight of her when he stopped, aiming as he pointed his gun at her. You aimed at Warren ready to pull the trigger, but an arrow came flying through the sky behind you, shooting through Warren’s chest and sending his body instantly to the ground. 
Wainfleet immediately turned toward the arrow’s origin and you followed his line of sight to find Lo’ak behind you. You stepped in front of the line of fire, attempting to stop Wainfleet, but he had already pulled the trigger. The bullet had landed above your clavicle, a seemingly fatal wound as your body dropped, Lo’ak catching you as you fell. 
Wainfleet’s eyes widened, turning his head to the Colonel, who hadn’t seen what had happened, and in his flustered state, Wainfleet backed away slowly,  running to your father’s side.
At that same instant, Quaritch took his shot, gauging where Neytiri was and releasing a detonation of bullets that bursted with deadly fire, the area engulfing in a massive explosion that ruptured the area, pieces of bark flying all throughout the forest like shrapnel. Taking her chance, Neytiri ran, and seeing her movement, Quaritch ordered the crew to follow. Jake followed too, disarming soldiers from where he had taken cover and using the last of his bullets to secure Neytiri’s safety. 
You were lying on the ground, Lo’ak breaking your fall as you both tumbled to the grassy floor, “Shit!” He yelled out once he noticed the blood dripping from the wound. 
Shifting to your side, he put pressure on it, talking to you gently, “Hey! Stay with me, okay?” 
When your mind finally caught up with your body, you let a deep breath in, sitting up abruptly, the boy retracting his hands as your own touched where your wound was, the blood smeared on your fingertips as more poured down your chest. 
Quickly, you ripped pieces of your shirt as he watched, eyes blinking in confusion as his face flushed, “What are you doing?”
You almost laughed, a smirk on your face, “Relax, I’m not getting naked.” 
Looking around, you took your knife out, slicing off a piece of the bark from a nearby tree, pressing the blade into its flesh as it seeped out sap. You wiped the sap on your wound, feeling the slight sting as Lo’ak watching in confused awe.
Lo’ak let out another question, “Where did you learn how to-”
“I had a great teacher.” You replied, “Yanna bark sap has great healing properties.” 
You gave him the pieces of cloth that you tore, “Just wrap the pieces around.”
He took the cloth from you, covering the wound, “Wrap it tightly.” You ordered.
“Ow!” You yelped as he pulled the cloth taut.
“You said to do it tightly.” He mumbled, continuing to wrap your wound. 
You took his face in your other hand, brushing his lip with your finger, the bottom of it cracked and the blood crusted from when you punched him, “Sorry about that.” 
He could feel his heart beat faster, your fingers still on his lips as he placed his gaze on you. The way he bore his eyes into you made you feel shy, and having never been looked at like that before, you pulled your hand away, but he grabbed it, “It’s fine. It doesn’t hurt.” 
Blues, greens, and purples illuminating your shimmering skin as the plants around regained their bioluminescence. Anyone from the outside looking in would have thought you two were sharing affections, the plants livening around you, sanctifying the air you shared, that small, fleeting moment between the two of you peaceful amidst what had just happened. You cast your eyes away from him quickly though, unable to let yourself slip too deep into that peace, the horrible truth of reality striking at it like vipers.
Your ears twitched, voices coming through your telecom, immediately you turned around, craning your neck as you saw the bright, white lights of the extraction helicopter in the distance, snuffing out the glow of the plants. You could hear the general’s urgency as everyone was ordered to return to the helicopter.
“Get down. They might shoot if they see you.” You pulled him into the nearby brush, the tall, hanging leaves giving cover for you and Lo’ak.
As the helicopter neared and neared, its rotors whirred loudly, silencing the rest of the noises and filling your ears. Through the leaves, you saw the helicopter descend just above the tree line, multiple ropes dropping to the ground for extraction. Immediately, Quaritch stopped his crusade, falling back to the rally point, everyone else following after him. Grabbing onto the rope, he counted who he was with, but let go when he realized you weren’t there. 
“Y/n? Do you read me? Get back to the rally point.” He commanded in his telecom, his voice desperate.
You were about to put your hands on your telecom but you stopped, your fingers hovering over the buttons. You didn’t expect to hesitate. From the moment you woke up, you felt scorned by the presence of your father. But as you heard his voice calling to you so desperately, what was left of that old you, who loved him so much, found its hold on your heart somehow. 
“Y/n? Do you hear me? Get back to the rally point, now!” He yelled out. You could see him in front of you, frantically looking around.
General Ardmore was barking orders too, emotionless, “If she doesn’t come up Colonel. We’ll have to leave and come back tomorrow.”
Despite the whirring of the helicopter, your father’s voice was all you could hear in your head as he continued to scream out your name, the voice that taught you your every move and molded your every thought.
Still, you did nothing, eyes glued to your father in the distance, uncharacteristically panicky as he turned to the rest of his regiment, throwing his hands up, “Where’s my little girl?”
Lo’ak put a hand on your arm, his voice low, “Don’t tell me you’re gonna go back. That guy over there shot you, then left you.”
You looked at him, feeling the guilt within you rise, “Am I not so different from him? From all of them? I don’t belong here on Pandora and I don’t deserve to. If I stay here, I’d still be endangering you all.”
He kept his eyes planted on you, the sadness in your voice reinforcing him to be strong, “And if you go back, then what will happen to you? Will you just obey orders and watch your dad kill mine?” You looked at Lo’ak, your expression still conflicted and too aghast by his boldness to offer any protest. Yet, Lo’ak knew he got through to you, your expression softening as you let him lower your hands gently to the grass. 
“Look, you chose to save me and my sister when you could have killed us.” He lifted his hand up, his palm grazing it as he took the earpiece out of your ear, his fingers traveling to your neck as he unclipped your telecom.
You froze, your senses wholly attuned to him as your mind could only focus on his voice, calm and slow as he spoke to you, “You told me yourself. You’re not the enemy.” He smirked at you, pressing a finger into your forehead, “Get that through your thick skull, won’t you?” 
You couldn’t help a light laugh as your lips upturned, “I got through yours, so it’s only fair right?”
About to lift your gaze back on the helicopter, you stopped, rolling onto your back instead, relinquishing the ties of who you no longer wanted to be, unwilling even to grant them your eyes as they left you. You felt as if the tether to your father was being severed as the helicopter flew away, its whirring becoming distant and distant until finally, the tranquility of the forest returned as the bioluminescence reawakened around you. The feel of the grass and the air immersed you into that bliss, and no longer focused on the anger and hurt, you only wondered how you endured it for so long, how that tether was able to mark trauma into your skin and bones.
Lo’ak, although confused by your actions held no qualms about joining you, lying down, his eyes only on you the whole time. You turned your head slightly to look at him, and you felt that peace from before, no longer skewed but welcomed by you as you smiled at him, your gratefulness emanating from it. 
Under your gaze, Lo’ak felt himself get shy, getting up quickly to hide the blush that would surely make itself known among the illumination of the flora around you. 
“W-we should uh...look for my dad.” In his awkwardness, he was seemingly unsure, his tone expelling his words like a question.
Lo’ak put a hand out and you took it, “Yeah, Jake and I have a lot to catch up on.”
Once you stood up, you heard bellowing rustles in the distance, and immediately you took your defensive position, taking your knife out. Lo’ak also had his knife out, his back against yours as you both searched your perimeter. The rustling became footsteps, the sound approaching closer and closer until you saw a flash of blue rushing toward you, the lifting of a tomahawk making you dodge immediately.
“Jake I-!” He swung again, your knife barely blocking the weight of his tomahawk as you staggered backward.
“Dad! Stop!” Lo’ak yelled out, and hearing the rest of his family come, Neytiri already drawing her bow, he ran to her, pleading for her to put it down. 
You ducked again as Jake continued to swing, backing away as you put your hands up, “Jake! It’s me! Y/n!” You yelled.
The adrenaline pumping in his veins was too prominent, not allowing him to recognize you as he continued to swing at you, each one more forceful than the last. Neteyam had also drawn his bow, but Tuk clung to his arms, disrupting his attempt at shooting you.
You fought back vigorously and when you had finally knocked the tomahawk out of his hands, you let go of your grip on him, kneeling on the dirt with your hands up as you spoke again, out of breath, “Jake. It’s me, y/n. You have to believe me.”
Blinking, he could finally hear you, your unmistakeable voice warping Jake’s mind, unwilling to accept the possibility, your appearance betraying the very memory of you, splicing who he remembered you to be from the mystery of who was kneeling in front of him.
He put a knife to your neck, his eyes pained as he tried to ignore the memories coming back to him in response to your voice, “You’re not! Y/n’s dead. She’s dead, okay? So, who are you?”
What proof did you have? Even if you showed him those photos, they wouldn’t be enough. All you had were your memories, and as you looked at Jake, so happy to see him again, you reached into your past in hopes that he would remember too.
“You know me, Jake Sully, and you know my father. He’ll stop at nothing to kill you and your family.” Jake gritted his teeth, his knife dipping into your neck more. You became teary-eyed as you continued to speak, but you were fierce in your tone, “Do you remember what I told you before the bulldozers came?” You asked.
“A father protects. It’s what gives him meaning.” You looked over at his family, their stares burning into you, “You have a family now, Jake. Let me help you protect them from my father.”
Jake dropped his knife, his mouth parting, the words he had lived by in all the time you were gone breathing life back into you, his eyes no longer looking, but Seeing. Every doubt he had in his mind disappeared into the night air as he said your name, the breath he expelled so soft in the wake of what he felt was another reality. You were alive, and when he had finally accepted that fact, he lifted you up from the ground, pulling you in for a hug.
“I’m sorry I didn’t recognize you before.” He said softly, “Blue never really was your color.”
You buried your face in his shoulder as you hugged him back, “Yeah well, it was always yours.” 
You felt tears brim in your eyes as you lifted your head up and you could feel your whole body relax for the first time since you woke up. In the midst of your comfortable silence you suddenly heard him sniffle. You became moon-eyed, pulling back to see that he had tears falling from his eyes too.
You smiled at him, your old joking self returning as you laughed, “I see fatherhood’s turned you into a sap.” You put your hands up to his forehead, “And look at all the wrinkles on your forehead. You’re ancient.”
Scoffing, Jake pushed your hand away, tousling your hair, “You come back from the dead, and you’re still a little shit.”
“Whatever old man. I know you missed me.” You snarkily replied, weakly punching him in the arm.
He scoffed at you, winding his arm to punch you back when his face dropped, noticing your bound wound, “What happened? Did I shoot you?”
Lo’ak piped in, “It was one of the other soldiers. He was trying to kill me, but she took the bullet instead.”
He looked between you and Lo’ak. If there was still any doubt in his mind about who you were, it was easily erased. What you had done for his son directly mirrored what you had done for him all those years ago, every detail so ingrained in him that goosebumps adorned his body as he thought of it. Neytiri, who took her place beside Jake softened her eyes, having felt grateful to you for saving Jake’s life before, and once again for saving her son.
“I’m fine. You don’t need to worry. I’ve already put yanna bark on it. It’ll be better in no time.” You put your hands up, attempting to ease Jake.
He glared at you, “We’re going.” Jake turned to his eldest son, “Neteyam, take y/n back to camp.”
“No! I’ll take her back.” Lo’ak instantly protested, earning a knowing look from Neteyam, “It’s the least I can do after she took the bullet for me.”
“Fine Lo’ak,” His eyes were ensnared with warning, “You fly straight and slow, alright? Don’t be reckless in the air.”
“Yes sir.” Lo’ak answered, although he hardly meant it. 
Everyone called their ikrans, all of them coming in like a swarm and gracefully descending to the forest floor. Jake flew off first, Neytiri, who was holding Tuk, followed after, then Neteyam ascended as well.
Making sure you were secure before taking off, Lo’ak looked over his shoulder at you, “Have you ever been on an ikran before?”
“Never.” You said, suddenly excited, wrapping your arms around his waist tightly, your chest hugging his back, “I don’t care what Jake says, I don’t want to go slow.”
Lo’ak couldn’t control himself as a satisfied grin took over his lips, “Good, ‘cause I wasn’t planning to.”
The minute he kicked off, you felt the exhilaration of being in the air hit you as you flew through the mist of the night, Lo’ak taking extra detours around the mountain, commanding the wind as you felt it underneath you. You had merely felt free before, but as you embraced the touch of the swirling air, infinite and timeless in its beauty, you knew you really were. 
The day had felt excruciatingly long, and you felt so burdened by just being alive, the guilt, the hurt, and the pain encompassing you. But, being in the air with Lo’ak made those burdens feel like mere trivialities, and while you knew in the back of your mind that you would have to face them again, you let yourself feel that freedom you always longed to have and in its simplest form, you understood what it was you were really feeling.
You were happy.
But the thing about happiness is that it can vanish in an instant.
~
Your father was still out there, and having already been motivated to complete this mission by his own disposition, a new rage had sunk into his soul, catalyzing the torment he so desperately had to inflict.
Wainfleet finally admitted to your father what had happened to you, but in his deceitful cowardice, he left out one large truth.
“What did you say Lyle?” Quaritch asked impatiently.
“Sully. He shot her. She’s dead, Colonel.”
Author’s Note:
My lovers, 
LYLE WAINFLEET IS A BITCHHH ISN’T HE??? 
let me know how you felt about chapter 1!! i’d love to hear your thoughts :)
endless thanks for all of you who have waited and continue to wait for the next parts! 
for all those that wanted to be tagged for this next part, i’ve listed you all below! thank you so much!!
love, 
nana <3
~
taglist [tumblr wouldn’t let me tag some of the blogs, but i didn’t want to leave anyone out!] :
@fifty-shades-of-mischeif @pretty-npeach @tonni30  @itsemy01 @23victoria @soobinsrose  @starjane312 @valentineoxox @justlillythinking @mae-is-crazy @scarletrosesposts@paniniii @bloodyziggy @mister-police  @mrs-sullys-blog @niiight-dreamerrrr @promiseofeywa  @wilmalovegood @sssspencerrr @mochi-yu @d4rno @lovekeeho @dreama-little-dreamof-me  @strawberryclouds22@tsunchani @sully-stick-together @scarletrosesposts @local-mr-frog @pirana10 @usernumder67 @im-kai-scotty  @mae-is-crazy @ghoulbli @devil-on-acid  @neteyamoa @iamparou @nightfalldia  @a-queen-blr  @aeclark041-blog1@justpassinbxx @mochi-yu @persondoingstuff @melatonindaydreamz @ducks118 @macncheese69420666  @rotten-toenails  @rikidaily  @extreamlycutecuban @iizx7y @bongwaterflavoredgatorade @lovekeeho  @spicycloudsalad @perfectprofessorloverapricot   @kind45  @skyri-revia22@blueblushedflwr  @neteyamslovr  @coldlamaspersonspy @jayinthecloset @lunamochii @littlethingsinlife @ok-boke @donaldsmac @slut4sluttybooks @zatarias-pandora  @bol0-de-morang0  @dakotali  @bajadotcom  @bitchyzombienacho @siriusblackwh0re @wadiyatalkinabeetmate @eggyongies @galaxyfruits @kiricomics @fireflystoughts  @reallysparklychaos @bwormie​ @glitter-in-my-heroin @kirikuki @katkat1918 @0-0h-0 @imthefunniestpersonalive @my-name-duh @mayabritjohn @annoyingstrawberryballoon @sometimesminsan @pearlrosegardener @aestheticcraze @animetrash12 @sbfandom @hrlzy @vhobuu @urforevermore @larkkyoris @usersjs-world @vampsclassiffied @razor-blayde @doromoni @lizzyloo22 @jimfiqs @hunylew @dreamergirljen
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ninjawitdaddyissues · 17 days
Text
15 years of Dan & Phil - Major Arcana
It struck me that there has been 15 years since Dan and Phil met and my little goose brain connected that to the devil card number 15 (symbolised in dnpcrafts video) and so now you get a large post of me analysing year by year dnp in the major arcana.
DISCLAIMER: this is just for fun and because i am a silly jester who needed to feel joy while on video call with a friend. do not take any of this seriously, i am just a goofy guy with an internet connection and too much time.
The Fool - 0
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we start at the fool, 2009.
"The Fool is young and vulnerable. He has not yet experienced the ups and downs of life, leaving him unaware of the magnitude of life's challenges, as well as the potential he holds. When The Fool comes up in a Tarot reading, you are encouraged to take on his open, willing energy and embrace all that lies ahead of you without worry."
The year dnp meet. The start of the journey. The fool is considered the main character of the Major arcana journey. Thus Dan and Phil are the main characters of this story, their story.
Both unaware of what the future holds for them, their life™ was only just at conception. I feel like this one is very self explanatory in context of them just having met, we as the audience are just introduced to the concept of Dan and Phil.
The fool energy (open, willing) is especially evident in videos like PINOF 1 and The Interactive Christmas Adventure where their silliness, and creativity really shine. This is an era of open, easy (almost naive) energy.
The Magician - 1
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The year is 2010...
"The Magician card is a reminder that you are unique and have many gifts. These skills set you apart from the crowd and can help you begin new projects or overcome adversity. When The Magician comes up in your Tarot reading, it's a reminder that you already hold everything you need to move forward and accomplish what you've set out to do."
The year of Dan moving to Manchester and starting his Law Degree and Phil getting his flat in Manchester, PINOF2, Jamaica trip, and the conception of the forbidden video. We also have creative bangers such as "the inflatable lion of destiny", 'Blindfolded Catface Game', 'Dan and Phil get down' and 'The TREE'.
The boys are creating core parts of the Dan and Phil universe without knowing it. Together they have all the ingredients needed (see in the card imagery; the wand, cup, pentacle and sword) to create a fanbase and a successful career.
The High Priestess - 2
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2011 baybeeeeee
"The most intuitive, connected card in the whole Tarot deck, The High Priestess is a card of awareness. This card urges you to listen to your inner voice and follow your instincts. Your mind knows far more than you think. When this card arises in your Tarot reading, stop looking for answers in the outside world. Turn within for the guidance you seek."
We have the Manchester apartment™, PINOF 3, the forbidden video leak and the first radio show. The relation to this, to me, really comes up in the forbidden video response. Having to turn inwards, the boys became insular, guarded and a wall was really put up between them and the audience to protect themselves. We can't speak to exactly what was happening for them internally and only make our assumptions based on what they outwardly expressed at the time.
The Empress - 3
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2012
"The Empress is the most feminine card in the Tarot, and greatly encourages compassion, beauty, and love. She is deeply connected to Mother Nature, and her influence is powerful when you absorb the energy of the natural world around you."
"This supreme archetype of femininity also symbolizes fertility. It is The Empress who provides us nourishment and security. She is also sometimes seen as delighting us with flowers and fruit."
We have entered younow era. They also move to London this year, Dan officially drops out of uni, we get PINOF 4 and a second radio show. We also have the iconic tweet 'FYI i like vagina'. This year is known for being a difficult year in the Phandom. It has a reputation for 'no homo howell' and generally the boys being more reserved and insular with what and how they shared their lives.
In relation to The Empress card I think we can draw particularly on security. We know they had a stalking problem at the London apartment - a threat to their physical security, fans being hectic about their sexualities (particularly Dan) - a threat to their privacy. We also have Dan getting an influx of 'are you gay' on younow and having to reassert his ' straightness' lends itself to the femininity of this card. He had to play straight in order to keep himself safe. This card being for 2012 when we know they really withdrew from sharing themselves with us is quite the oxymoron but despite the withdrawing of their sharing with the audience we know they still had great success (got their flowers) in the coming years.
The Emperor - 4
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2013
"The Emperor is a card of leadership and power. He is an authoritative force who has been through many experiences to achieve this status. He represents structure and solidity, and reminds you that you, too, hold immense amounts of power over your own life, and what happens to it."
THE BRITISH VLOGGER BOOM IS UPON US. The boys have gone through some shit™ at this point and are starting to establish themselves as Entertainers. They are on the grind, they are moving in the direction of establishing themselves as entertainers/presenters in the mainstream space marked by the beginning of the request radio show. Their Youtube numbers climb as does their power in the online world. As for them holding power over their own lives, I know Dan has mentioned not feeling in control of things like his audience at this point. But I think this card speaks to them really gaining control over their future career wise as a duo - even if they didn't fully see themselves as such yet.
We also have the Charlie Skies twitter fiasco this year - another threat to their privacy. Through this Dan in particular had to trust in the power he had over his own narrative in redirecting attention and deflecting Charlie's online attacks. He blocked him and protected his peace and as a result not a whole lot of the phandom knows about this beef. Dan and Phil are nothing if not good at diversion, distraction and hiding things from the internet (good for them).
The Hierophant - 5
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2014
"The Hierophant is like a messenger from the heavens. He is experienced in spirituality and guidance, and his job is to bring these lessons down to us here in the real world. When The Hierophant comes up in your Tarot reading, you're encouraged to follow the rules, and to find a spiritual perspective on your current situation."
"Before him kneel two followers. The Hierophant’s task is to pass down his spiritual wisdom and initiate the two into the church so they can take up their appointed roles. This imagery speaks to a shared group identity and a rite of passage to enter the next level. The crossed keys at The Hierophant’s feet represent the balance between the conscious and subconscious minds and the unlocking of mysteries, which only he can teach."
This year brings us the first Brit awards hosting, the radio show transitioning to the Internet Takeover, Dan and Phil Games and the channels continuing to grow. This card in particular I think relates to them and their relation to the BBC. In this card they are the two people in front of the Hierophant, learning and having knowledge bestowed upon them. This was a year of developing their careers into a new phase of mainstream TV palatability. Dan and Phil are stepping into previously unchartered spaces for just a couple of guys on the internet.
The Lovers - 6
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2015
"The Lovers card represents the close relationships in your life. If it comes up in your Tarot reading, your love life is in need of extra attention. However, this is just as much a card about your values and decisions. You may find The Lovers come up when you are at a crossroads. Consider all the possible consequences of your choices."
Significant events this year include; TABINOF, TATINOF, Dan and Phil crafts, Japhan part 1, Brit Awards hosting and the channels growing. Japhan happening this year with the lovers card showing up is very sweet. Dan and Phil knew they had big events coming up for them in their lives so they carved out space for them to enjoy existing together by going to Japan.
We also know that at this point Dan and Phil were looking to move on from the TV Host type of space they found themselves in with the BBC. A crossroads of where they wanted to take the world of Dan and Phil™ . That gave way to TABINOF and TAINOF, stepping into an unknown space of Youtubers doing stuff in the real world once again. Phil mentioned in his video, 'Draw my LIfe 2' that they really had to trust that this was the correct move for them. A crossroads where they had to consider the consequences when investing their money into TABINOF and TATNIOF.
The Chariot - 7
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2016
"The Chariot card is connected to your natural drive and determination, and can indicate an upcoming victory. This card reminds you that your greatest successes won't come through limited thinking -- when you combine the knowledge of your mind with that of your heart and spirit, you are an unstoppable force."
This year brought alot of reaping on benefits of putting trust in the crossroads that the Lovers card presented. We see the end of the Internet Takeover, the final Brit Awards hosting and the end of the TATINOF era. They combined their mind, heart and spirit and came out successful, winning 4 awards this year and having the huge success of TATINOF. They didn't allow themselves to be limited (by the BBC) and they succeeded. So, if they could achieve a world tour and a best selling book on their own... well what could come next??
Strength - 8
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2017
"The Strength card represents courage, the fortitude of your heart, and your ability to withstand anything life hands you. If this card arises in your Tarot reading, you are reminded that you're strong enough to handle whatever you are facing and will come out of it with even more power than you had before."
This year, the boys move to their new London apartment (the fake apartment), Interactive Introverts is announced, Dan goes curly and the end of danisnotonfire branding.
We know from the video 'Dan and Phil Finally Tell the Truth' that Dan had begun to realise he couldn't stay in the closet any longer, which led to his mini breakdown on the balcony. He stated that he was worried if they went on tour with introverts he was going to have a very public meltdown. We also got the video 'Daniel and Depression'. Between the two of these things we can see how the strength card really came into play this year.
Phil has also talked about how they didn't know how they were going to get everything done this year. With Introverts tour looming, they were inundated with work and they really had to grin and bare through it. They had to trust their strength as a duo that they would come through this time together.
The Hermit - 9
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2018
"The Hermit yearns to be alone. He knows that the only way to process what is happening in life is to withdraw from the noise of the world and create a quiet space of solitude. When The Hermit comes up in your reading, the answers you need will come from within. Be very still, and listen..."
This year is the year of the Interactive Introverts tour, the final PINOF, the gaming channel hiatus and Dan's video 'trying to live my truth'. The Hermit coming up in a year of them going into hiatus, is just very nail on the god damn head. I mean what card could be more relevant? It seems so self explanatory, I don't even know what to say.
The boys had to turn inward once again to assess where to go next in their careers. They talk about pausing to take stock of what they have done and where they will go.
Dan took a huuuuuge step back to go inwards and process everything he had been holding in and pushing through in the previous years as they were so busy with their career building. This was a year where they gave themselves permission to slow down and finally look inward for where to go next. This introversion beginning is seen at the start of 2018 in Dan's 'Trying to Live My Truth' video.
We also have Phil with his dizzy spells during this year meaning there was less amazingphil content. This could also be seen as an introversion. He had to slow down his public career of take care of himself and focus on his health.
The Wheel of Fortune - 10
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2019
"The Wheel of Fortune is constantly revolving -- sometimes you will be at the top, and sometimes you will be at the bottom. This Tarot card reminds you that nothing is permanent, and, good or bad, you must cherish the lessons that this moment is bringing you."
"Good luck, karma, life cycles, destiny, a turning point"
Bare with me while I desperately try to refrain from top and bottom jokes due to the concision of the wheel of fortune card and dnp coming out in the same year. But truly this card represents a turning point and a destiny fulfilment. If BIG and COTY are not a destiny fulfilment and turning point then I don't know what is! The boys are living their truth, they are moving into a new era.
Justice - 11
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2020
"Justice is your firm-but-fair reminder that there is a consequence for every action. Whatever life is handing you at this moment comes from decisions you and others have made in the past, reflecting natural cause-and-effect. When this card comes up in your Tarot reading, make sure you are acting fairly in all your interactions with others."
Libra card!!!! This year we have covid hitting, a quiet year for content all round. We have the stereo shows starting up at the end of the year along with the phouse announcement. This year also featured Steve the pigeon (pigeon fest/rescuing a pigeon video).
When we look at cause and effect, the phouse is what comes to mind. They worked themselves so hard in the years previous and they were able to buy and design their forever home. The cause and effect of them coming out is also seen in their ability to be open with the audience that they are continuing to not only live together but purchase and build property together. If they had not come out, things like buying a house together would've raised so many more questions and possibly caused more issues for them and their privacy (fan speculation). This new era really hinged on them coming out and setting themselves up as an ambiguous couple. In this case the cause and effect really benefitted them.
The Hanged Man - 12
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2021
"The Hanged Man tells you that sometimes small sacrifices are required to benefit the bigger picture. When The Hanged Man arises in your reading, you likely want to make a move but don't know where to begin. Lightening your grip on what's no longer working for you, or detaching from the outcome of your situation, can help you release yourself."
This year gives us the first joint video since 2018 in the form of 'something we want to tell you'. This marks Dan's return to being perceived online. Subsequently we have the book release in May, YWGTTN, and they move into the somewhat uncompleted phouse.
We get many iconic videos this year showing a shift in their on camera dynamic - a loosening grip on the wall they built up with the audience during the early years. They let us in on alot more of those moments that drive us absolutely insane, the smiles were off the charts and we started eating good again. They have begun trusting the audience with more of their authentic selves and silly dynamic. In Phil's recent video where he looks at old profile pics, he talks fondly about the silly icon pic from him and Dan during lockdown.
I think the sentiment of no longer caring what people think is really echoed in this years content. The boys are self assured and care less about what people have to say because they are successful and have nothing to hide.
The hanged man is shown in this loosening grip on hiding parts of themselves and allowing themselves to trust the audience more knowing that whatever the outcome they have each other and that in enough.
Death - 13
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2022
"One of the most misunderstood Tarot cards, Death is not a card about physical death. The Death card speaks of cycles and is a reminder that all things must pass. Hanging on to situations from the past will hinder you from allowing new, better things to enter your life. In every ending lies a chance for a new beginning."
wad year/DD/wiqy
What can I say. Death card for WAD year? It just makes sense. A year where Dan and Phil spent the most time apart since they met in 2009, taking a break from the cycle of their everyday life.
We also got Dan's WIQY video, again reflecting on the last few years and essentially announcing his burn out. Giving up on being Youtube's 'golden boy' by speaking his mind about how he was effected by circumstances beyond his control.
Then we have WAD. The show being reflective of his past and the future for the earth. This year truly felt like a rebirth for Dan specifically. He was back on the internet, Dystopia Daily, being able to openly make gay jokes. He went back out into the world and found meaning in existence again. And once that meaning was obtained, he went back to Phil. A new beginning in how they both show up online, unapologetically themselves.
Temperance - 14
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2023
"The Temperance card is a master of moderation. She encourages peace and patience, and reminds you to go with the flow of your life instead of trying to force its pace or direction. When Temperance turns up in your Tarot reading, it is a message to take things as they come, and remain flexible enough to change with the changes."
2023 brought us more DD, end of WAD, The 3rd Japhan trip, the Phude, and the return of the gaming channel.
This is a year of things slowly going back to routine for DnP. Dan comes back from tour, they go on holiday to Japan. Up until the gaming channel coming off hiatus 2023 was seemingly a chill flux and flow for dnp. The flow (this is a water heavy card) of their life returned to normal.
While DnP certainly didn't make this comeback with moderation (leaping straight into spooky week and then gamingmas as well as merch drops) they wouldn't have come back without a serious plan to keep their workaholic tendency's in check.
The Devil - 15
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2024
"The Devil card carries themes of restraint and powerlessness. When it comes up in your Tarot reading, you are likely feeling stuck. The Devil has convinced you that you have no options, but this couldn't be further from the truth. You hold the keys to your own freedom, but it's up to you to open the lock."
So we all know the crafty video from this year has direct symbolism to the devil card. There have been many great analyses between the two so I won't go into that as much here. But what I will say is that I see this card for this year as an unshackling of themselves. We see them far more open and willing to trust the audience to be in on the joke rather than and us vs. them situation of the 2012 era. So rather than them feeling stuck I believe this symbolises them no longer being stuck and stepping into their most honest selves while still maintaining their boundaries.
That concludes my wee dive into dnp lore and how it relates to the major arcana. I am not someone with a huge amount of knowledge on tarot (just a wee bit from my own experience of doing a card read every so often but certainly not someone who has ever studied tarot), so if you are big on tarot absolutely chime in and add to this!! I am also so sure I missed dnp lore but hey I did what I could! Also big ty to @boardgamedanny for being on video call with me for 2 days in a row to suggest things and pipe in and also distract me horrendously. Also biiig thanku to my friend, Peter, who isn't on here but sparked this whole thing, with their tarot knowledge and my dnp brain encyclopedia.
now sources!!
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wifeofsnowbaird · 3 months
Text
You Can't, You Can't Catch me Now I'm coming like storm into your town
Part 1/Part 2/Part 3
Masterlist
[Mentor!Coriolanus Snow x time-travel, hg-era, tribute!reader x toxic!Finnick Odair (in the Peacekeeper era)]
Warning: gore, blood, gun and knife violence, serious injury, death, physical assult, possibly non-con...as I said, maybe...
Summary: You are a rebel, the last chance of the rebellion against President Snow. You're told to go on one last mission to kill the man who massacred Panem. It took you years to understand your mission when you became [name] Lily Baird, starting from the age of five till before the reaping day of the 10th Hunger Games.
The day you began your plan to destroy President Snow before he became the villain he was meant to become.
'Both sisters, Lucy Gray and [Name] Lily Baird are a part of the Covey, and though they have been chosen as tribute for both District 12 and 9 because of our own mistakes, we hope they will stay safe.'
You knew about [Name] Lily Baird, named after her because your mother was inspired by her fiery personality and strength, but now you realize that you were transported to a time before the Baird sisters died, one of sickness and one because of Coriolanus Snow himself.
'I will kill you, President Coriolanus Snow.'
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Once you woke up your body shuffled around on the cold floor. Apparently, in the old Training Center where all the tributes stayed, they had no real bed or even a room and most people tended to sleep in bundles next to each other for body heat.
You slept next to your sister and the District 8 girl you had met, Wovey.
You had planned to make use of your skill, like Lucy Gray’s snakes, Haymitch had told you about [Name] Lily’s mockingjays. Unfortunately, a Peacekeeper appeared to take you and Lucy Gray out to the Arena to meet up with your mentors.
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A curly haired boy walked up to you two and extended a hand in greeting towards the girl beside you, proceeding to introduce himself.
‘Hi, I’m Sejanus Plinth, and I’ll be your mentor!’
Lucy Gray grimaced before accepting his hand and following him as he led the way.
‘[Name], how was your sleep.’ 
A gentle voice made its way into your ear. You instinctively lunged toward the person behind you but they managed to dodge, but not without a slight scar from your sharp nails.
Coriolanus Snow, that bastard.
You glared at him before accepting that you can’t do much to get out of the situation. Nodding towards him, you looked toward the other tributes that practiced with their mentors.
Coriolanus rolled his eyes but left you gazing away from him as he wondered why you didn’t like him much.
What have I done? I suppose that since I’m her mentor she might dislike me but…No she likes me, I can tell by her red face.
‘I’ve been curious ever since I saw you, why have you been hurting me with your scratches like you’re some cat?’
You rolled your eyes and frowned once you noticed Snow’s vibrant blue eyes coast over your body and meet your eyes.
You laughed as you met his gaze. 
‘No Tribute likes their Mentor, Coriolanus Snow…Besides, I can barely trust you ’
It was the best you could come up with since your reasoning-you killed many people and are just an asshole-wouldn’t be taken at face value.
Coriolanus hummed, his electric eyes glaring down at you before he shook his head and pointed toward a bow and arrow near the Arena doors, his crimson academy uniform blinding you.
‘Let me teach you how to survive the Hunger Games,’ he paused, looking back at you for some clarification to continue.
‘Because I promised to take care of you.’
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might do part 4 today
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kaymarie-bell · 8 months
Text
Diasomnia Book, Chapter 5 Spoilers (and mini translations)
edit: [part 2]
‼️ LONG POST ‼️
Baul reports that the castle is currently surrounded by Henrik, the Knight of Dawn and their troops. They cannot use teleportation magic because they're injured so they must walk all the way there + Lilia is currently not a match for the Knight. Meleanor must stay strong by herself
Baul does not want our group to come along since it's a battle of Fae vs Humans, but Silver says that race doesn't matter and we want to fight for what's right
They find a pair of cooks who give the group food and mention that Silver really looks like "him"
Silver is on his Disney princess era, he's using his ability to talk to animals to help them get to the castle/distract the guards
KNIGHT OF DAWN REVEAL (he's Silver's ancestor 100%)
Silver's ring/necklace started to shine right after we got to see the Knight
Man that Henrik is really ugly
This mf's entire reason to wage war against the Fae is just to take Meleanor's magical orb for his collection??? and to steal her egg??? the Knight is clearly against this but he cannot refuse to fight due to his own circumstances
WE FINALLY GET TO THE CASTLE
Malleus' mother is named Meleanor (we get a confirmation of the spelling from the name of the location)
SHE'S SINGING A LULLABY BEFORE WE SEE HER (yes it's the same song Malleus sings in the overblot scene I wanna kms)
she's gorgeous omg
Meleanor is really mad at Lilia (?) and throws lighting at him and everyone else
Aye we get egg Malleus reveal
Meleanor already calls him Malleus because she was sure he was going to be a boy because of motherly instincts (😭)
Silver and Sebek experience microagressions from the Fae pt. ??? (Meleanor made them kneel before her once she saw their ears)
Meleanor decided to confront the troops by herself
just fell to my knees. hold on
She gives her egg to Lilia and orders them to flee somewhere safe
Lilia protests and Meleanor keeps on throwing lighting at him. Silver steps in to protect Lilia. Lilia scolds him but then Silver begs them to stop fighting because they're doing it only out of concern for the other
Baul and Sebek are surprised by him. Baul asks Meleanor to listen to his words
Lilia: I can't hatch this egg by myself! Dragons can only be hatched with magic and affection from their parents. It only works with true love
I don't understand parental love. I don't know what it is like to love someone.
Meleanor: You love me, don't you? Or were you lying when you proposed to me when we were young?
You love Levan too. The time you two have spent together side by side as generals is even longer than a married couple.
How can you not love a child of our blood?
Meleanor forces everyone away from the castle while saying her goodbyes to Lilia and Malleus
Lilia tries to get back to her but Baul stops him and tells him that as guards they must obey the commands given by the Draconias, or else be punished by lighting. Lilia says it doesn't matter, he will quit the squad and he's already used to the lighting.
Baul says that the egg he's holding is the King who will carry the future of the valley. They must escape. They have to trust that Meleanor is strong enough to win and get back to them, and keep their focus on protecting the egg.
Lilia finally agrees and we keep on moving
The writers are so evil. We get a confrontation of Meleanor vs the Knight of Dawn
Meleanor's battle against the troops is basically the scene of Maleficent vs Prince Philip in the movie (she's in her dragon form). Meleanor's magic attributes are the same as Malleus's dorm SSR btw (fell to my knees)
we're currently escaping via underground passage that's collapsing due to the battle
suddenly the Knight of Dawn appeared. He was blown all the way there by Meleanor's magic
the Knight recognized Lilia's general mask immediately and realized that the egg he's holding must be the Prince and Lilia takes a fighting stance
Baul steps in to fight but the ceiling collapsed, burying Lilia and Malleus under the debris. Silver panics but then an aurora-like light appears. The Knight used his magic to save Lilia and the egg
the Knight shows concern for the egg and Lilia asks him why he saved them. the Knight is speechless
the Knight's mask breaks. He looks just like Silver but with long blond hair. Everyone is shocked
there's two lights comming from them, it's originating from their ring/necklace (they both have identical ones). The Knight says he was given his by his fairy godmother (?) and it was one of a kind. He demands to know who Silver is.
Silver cannot get any words out. We hear a roar and the Knight says there's no time for talking, Henrik is after the egg so they must keep on running quickly
Baul is offended by "being pitied by their enemy" but Lilia says to forget about it and keep moving
Silver is still in shock and remembers the conversation he had with Lilia when he gave him his ring (about how he had it on when he was found)
oh no my son is straight up having a panic attack and crying his heart out. He cannot accept that his own flesh could have done this to Lilia and Malleus. We see the beginning of another overblot...
Sebek is screaming for Silver to stay strong. He tells Lilia and Baul to keep going and that we will catch up later. Silver is our responsibility as his friends.
Yuu gets dragged into darkness, Silver's negative emotions???
Silver is having a lot of negative thoughts, wondering if Sebek hates him now...how will he ever face Malleus again...thinking that maybe if he stays in the dream he won't have to show up in front of them...he wants to stay in the dark...(we have to literally fight his demons away 😭)
Silver is crying. Suddenly we hear a baby. And a familiar voice...
[Abandoned castle, covered in thorns]
Lilia: I'm coming back here again...it must have been 300...no, 400 years already.
We finally signed a peace treaty with the neighboring nations. I was able to return to this place.
It's been a long time since the last time I came here. It took quite a while. Truly.
Silver: This voice...father?
Lilia: The castle of the Wild Roses is abandoned, and it is said that you will get cursed if you step a foot in.
Silver: Father...can't he see me? Could this be part of the scenery in Father's mind, or...?
*cries from a baby*
Lilia: a baby's crying? Is it coming from the throne room? I should go see
[Throne room, covered in thorns]
Lilia: A baby? And what's more, it's a human! Why are you here?
[CG of baby Silver. He has blond hair and a shining ring/necklace]
Lilia: ! this ring...
Silver: This baby! Could it be...? My hair color is different, but those eyes and that ring...
Lilia: Hair golden like the sun, and that ring...It cannot be...the Knight of Dawn's...?
No, it isn't possible. Soon after the castle fell into Henrik's hands, there was another dispute over land and resources.
In that confusion, the Knight and his wife Leah...*sigh*
Cradle, will you show me your memory for a moment?
Far Cry Cradle [To the cradle in the distance!]
Silver: That spell...it's my Father's unique magic.
He can play the memories engraved on "things" for a little bit.
Red Fairy: The enemy is around the corner!
His Royal Highness, who was once titled the Knight of Dawn, has perished. The fall of the castle is just around the corner.
The "Land of Swords" has met its end.
Our dearest Queen Leah, please hurry up and run! We will protect the Prince.
Blue Fairy: Come now, my Prince. You will sleep sweetly for a while, until this sad battle is over.
Green Fairy: It's okay. This ring will strengthen our magic. He will remain in this form, dreaming happily ever after until the spell is broken. Whether it is 10 years, or 100 years.
Blue Fairy: Well then...
When someone who truly loves the prince comes along...this spell will be broken and he will wake up from his slumber.
Red Fairy: Yes, I'm sure of it. In a world without war, in a world of peace...
[Back to Lilia's memory]
Lilia:...I see.
Your parents and guardian fairies protected you from the flames of destruction.
Have you been waiting in this cradle for someone who truly loves you to come along, since the day the country collapsed?
But as time passed, the magic of the guardian fairies must have broken down.
*baby crying*
...the child of the Knight of Dawn...a revenge for Levan and Meleanor's...
Right now...with these hands...
*Silver gasps, the baby wails*
Lilia:...I couldn't face Malleus again if I did that.
If I tell him to love mankind and walk with his neighbors...then I must do the same.
And...I would have lost even Malleus if the Knight of Dawn hadn't granted me mercy that day.
Can this "me" ever love a human being?
Silver: Please stop, Father! -I'm not worthy of being loved by you!
*baby cries*
Silver: STOP IT! STOP CRYING! YOU DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT TO CRY!
Lilia: There there, don't you cry anymore. I'm surprised that such a small body has been able to endure such loneliness for so long. Good boy, let's go.
Huff, you're heavier than I expected.
I remember the day the Malleus hatched. It seems like it was only yesterday.
Fairies and humans alike wish for their own children to live, even at the cost of their own lives, I suppose.
*baby cries*
Child of the Dawn, today is the birthday of the new master. Therefore, I shall give you my blessing!
Blessing of the night.
[the baby's hair changes from gold to silver]
Silver:..O-oh...my hair...
Lilia: His hair changed color!
Perhaps the Knight of Dawn's hair, which shone like sunlight, was due to the blessing of his servants of the day.
Your hair seems to have been lit by the light of the moon, with the blessing of the night's servants.
That's alright. A person with golden hair would stand out a bit in the Valley of Thorns.
*baby yawns*
Lilia: Hahah. Are you tired from crying all these years?
Now, your name is- hmm? It doesn't seem to be written anywhere on the cradle or the ring...
Hmm...let's see...moonlight...silver...Okay, I've decided.
Silver. From today on, your name is Silver.
The moon illuminates the dark night. Like so, its silver light will illuminate your path.
Despite Lilia adopting him as his son while knowing who his biological father was, Silver still feels guilty about his origins
Okay so I chose one of the spaces where you can heal your cards, and got some lines from Lilia. He's wondering what do human babies eat in order to grow, and remembers that Baul's son-in-law is a human, so he decides to ask for his help (the music changes from dramatic and gloomy to bright and cheerful, it made me tear up)
A new location appears, it is the house in the forest where Lilia raised Silver. Lilia is singing the same lullaby Meleanor sang to Malleus.
Malleus knocks on Lilia's door, he wants to see the baby he has taken in since the fairies in the forest have been talking about it. Lilia tells him to be quiet because he has just gone to sleep.
Malleus calls the baby a naked monkey-like creature and asks what is it (😭). Lilia says he's the baby from the rumors and says he looks lovely.
Malleus:...lovely? that thing? (😭😭😭)
Lilia is like "oh you came at a good time, I have to go shopping so please watch him for me for a bit, okay?" and Malleus is like "huh? This? me?"
Lilia is trying to figure out what "powdered milk" is because that's what his book says he should feed the baby. He has to go to a human store to get it. (Fairies eat flowers' nectar???)
Malleus does not want to stay on his own because he's afraid he'll break the "little creature" if he touches him. Lilia assures him that it'll be okay, he just has to sing a lullaby and the baby will fall asleep even if he's crying.
Lmao Lilia left and baby Silver woke up crying immediately. Malleus is stressed because the baby is noisy and he can't think of any song...but then remembers that he does know one at least one (he sings the song again 😭). Silver fell asleep and Malleus wishes Lilia to hurry up and return.
Malleus doesn't even remember where he heard that lullaby. He thinks it might have been from one of his nannies. The Silver of the present cries when he hears that.
There's snippets of Silver's upbringing throughout this part. Lilia and Malleus were present when he stood up on two legs for the first time (Malleus says it would take about 30 years for a fairy...it took him 20, and he was considered fast). Lilia says that at this rate Silver will be all grown up in the blink of an eye.
Lilia is reading a story, and Silver says his first word
Baby Silver: dada
Lilia: What? I am not your father....
Baby Silver: dada!
Lilia: Well...should I just wait until you understand things better before I tell you?
Well then...yes, I am [your father].
Baby Silver: *laughs*
Another conversation between Lilia and Malleus. Malleus asks where did he find a human baby, Lilia just says he found him during a walk in the forest and tells him to not pay any mind to it. Malleus says that he didn't have to raise him just because he found him, it would've been good to leave the baby with the humans.
Lilia:...your father Levan uses to say this: We fairies need to get to know humans better, and humans need to get to know fairies.
Levan was the one who took the initiative to learn a language in common with humans and also to teach it to other fae.
Silver is a way for Lilia to learn to love humans. Malleus asks him what if he can't get to love them, Lilia says not to jump ahead since there's a lot of time.
Lilia: it says here that they can only eat milk and mashed vegetables
Malleus: if that's what the human book says then that's okay. We're fairies so we shouldn't go against it.
Lilia: but you've been eating meat and fish since you were little
Malleus: But I am a dragon, not some weak human
Lilia: They cry when they are hungry, and sleep when they are full. Babies are similar, it doesn't matter whether dragons or humans.
Malleus:...ha.
Lilia: Oh, you ate the whole plate. Good boy, Silver! Was it good?
That's it, eat a lot and sleep well so you can grow up to be a big boy!
But don't you get tired of the same taste everyday? Next time, I'll try a little more variety-
Should we add meat of a rat to the soup? It's said to be nutritious. Or maybe the powder of a black newt?
Malleus:...don't do that. I'll have food for the baby brought from the castle regularly.
I'm a little nervous about leaving it all to you.
Lilia: Oh? You used to hate humans. What brought such a change of heart?
Malleus: If this baby gets weak, you'll be sad. Isn't that right?
Lilia:...you're such a sweetheart, Malleus.
Silver: Father...Lord Malleus...I...
[blot monster appears]
Silver:...you keep showing up again and again. Go away.
Another battle
Another memory. Young Silver is shouting for Lilia to come see what he has. Silver made a bracelet out of acorns, it is the same one Lilia still has among the things he keeps in his room.
Lilia praises him for being a genius at picking up acorns, and Silver tells him he had help from his animal friends. Silver tells him is for him.
Silver: You know, I heard that if you carry an acorn amulet, you will live a long and healthy life.
The oak tree fairies taught me that.
Be healthy all the time. And we will be together forever.
Lilia:...you will pray for my long life?
You, who are a human....
Silver: What? What's wrong? Are you hurt somewhere?
Lilia:...it's nothing. Come here.
Silver: Daddy, it hurts if you squeeze me that hard.
Lilia: It's the best gift ever.
With this charm, I feel like I'll be able to live another thousand years. Thank you.
Silver: Heheh. I love you, daddy
Lilia: So do I, Silver
The current Silver remembers finding that bracelet while cleaning up Lilia's dorm room, he had forgotten it was a gift from him. Lilia had said it was the most precious gift he had ever received, a gift that even Malleus envied.
Silver says that something like that couldn't be worth much. He cries.
The next memory is the day Silver found out he was adopted. He was so shocked he ran out of the house while it rained.
Lilia says that he thought Silver would've figured it out by now, but then he retracts the statement and says he was the one who kept it to himself. He didn't have the courage to tell the truth and see Silver's sad face. Lilia runs into the rain while calling out for Silver.
The current Silver still cannot fathom that Lilia could truly love him while knowing he's the son of the Knight.
Silver says he's tired and cannot keep on going. He apologizes to Lilia and Malleus for not being able to accomplish his dream of being a knight. Then a voice speaks up...
It is general!Lilia, and he calls Silver "Knight of Dawn"
Silver goes to deny it's him, but then his appearance changes and the one with long blond hair and armor is him. General Lilia accuses him of taking away Levan and Meleanor. Silver calls him father, and Lilia tells him to not call him that.
Battle, General Lilia vs Knight of Dawn Silver.
Silver begs Lilia to stop since he doesn't want to fight him, he tells Lilia he will dissappear and never show up in front of him again. Lilia refuses to listen.
Lilia gains the upper hand and he's ready to strike Silver down, but then he starts to change into the blot monster. Silver realizes this is a nightmare, but he's very tired and cannot fight against the darkness any longer.
Lilia's voice tells him to stand up. He tells him that it's not a problem to run away from an enemy, or use cowardly tricks to get away. What matters the most is to not give up on living. So, stand up Silver!
Silver is not sure if the voice is real or just a convenient thing his mind made up. He's unsure of what to do...
[the story continues but I've been here since 1 am, it is currently 8 am ☠️]
some comments/observations so far:
- the lullaby wrecks me every time. The first time we heard it was very chilling because it was during Malleus' overblot, but then seeing Meleanor -> Lilia -> Malleus again...it just makes me sadder and sadder
- Lilia lost the only two people he had ever loved at the same time (😭)
- I hope we get to see more of RSA since the whole "Land of Swords" seems to be related to its origins...
- I kinda called it with Silver being a prince of sorts...I do not feel happy about this, he's in so much pain because of his origins
- I think the scene where Lilia finds Silver dealt me even more damage than Idia and Ortho's backstory in chapter 6. You guys have to listen to it fr. The baby crying? Silver shouting that he has no right to cry while crying himself? Lilia gently soothing the baby at that point feels like it was also meant for grown up Silver.
- Every memory we see of Lilia it's full of the love he chose to have for Silver and it breaks my heart that Silver still cannot allow himself to be loved. I also loved seeing Malleus there.
- I'm calling it now, the spell the fairies put on Silver is the reason he still falls sleep randomly. It hasn't been broken completely because he feels doubts about the love Lilia has for him, but Lilia will finally manage to make him see the light and Silver will be free.
- I also would love for the acorn bracelet to end up being the cure for whatever it is Lilia has. With the power of love everything is possible and all that.
- With all this going on I haven't even thought about what Malleus must be doing in the "real world" rip ☠️
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ethereal-maniac · 1 month
Note
Hiii I was curious if you could write headcanons of the papa's ot ghouls with a partner with post-coital dysphoria? If youre comfortable with it. I've been diagnosed with it recently and I've found maybe 2 fics with it
Thanks for your time!!
<3
A/n: Hi lovely! I wasn’t sure which era you wanted so I did 4. I also don’t know much about post coital dysphoria so I did some research for this and hopefully I was able to understand it correctly. I hope you're doing okay and that this helps. 🩷
(Please do let me know if this was inaccurate and I can re-write it if you'd like. 🩷)
GenderNeutral!Reader x Sodo, Swiss, Phantom, Aether, Rain, Mountain, Cumulus, Cirrus and Copia (seperate).
❗️TW❗️: some implied abuse but no specifics, talk of it being possibly hormonal, just that it had long lasting negative effects on reader, implied smut, overall comfort. If you think this will cause you any discomfort, please don’t read! 🫶
SODO
It took him a good couple of days to grasp the concept.
Sex always feels so good to him, how could it do the opposite for you?
He gets mad at whatever reason you got diagnosed for this, whether it was hormones or past trauma.
He then takes the time to lay you down on the bed and softly kiss every part of your body.
Kisses always help and he's praying that they'll help ease some of your pain.
He takes things slowly with you, he's never been more committed to anyone in his whole life, you mean so much to him he refuses to do anything until you're positive it's what you want.
Their's a couple of long talks before having sex, discussing boundaries, what could occur, how he could support you during intercourse and afterwards.
He hates when you want space after sex, he's in an especially bad mood when you are (he will of course leave you alone if that's what you want though).
He will do everything in his power to help you feel as good as he does after sex.
He's in it for the long run honey, nothing could ever make him stop loving you.
--------
SWISS
This was big for him to try and digest.
He's so proud after each time you have any sort of sexual contact with him.
A lot of the time if you're feeling a bit sad/ashamed/anxious after sex and want him to be around, he has a shower with you and carefully washes your body, giving your muscles a massage and murmurs praise before hopping out of the shower, drying you off and dressing you in his comfy clothes.
Then if you’re still not feeling better, he puts on some relaxing music and picks you up, walking around the room as he waits for you to fall asleep.
And if you just want space to cool off? He'll set up a nice bath full of relaxation salts, then while you marinate in there, he queues up your favourite movie and sets up some fun little distracting activities for you (e.g colouring, gaming, whatever you enjoy).
Just let him flop on top of you a couple of hours later please, he must know if you're feeling happier.
--------
PHANTOM
It took a good couple of hours of talking for him to fully comprehend what post coital dysphoria means and how it affects you.
He isn't mad when you get irritable or upset after sex, he just feeds some of his Quintessence through to you and helps you work through it.
Since bug is still quite new to 'top-side things', including caring sex, he'll need some reassurance every now and then that he didn't do anything wrong once you're feeling better.
He feels surprisingly protective of you when you're feeling especially bad after intercourse and, if you'll let him, he'd like to perch on some furniture nearby and watch you.
He just needs to make sure you're alright.
Everything in his being is just itching to hold you, he can sense you're upset and all his instincts are screaming at him to cuddle you in a nest until you're happy again.
But he knows sometimes you just don't want that.
Sometimes he'll leave the room without a word and come back a couple of minutes later with two or three of Copias rats in his hands.
He then places them gently on your lap, watching you for any signs of a smile as he moves back to his perch.
--------
AETHER
You had discussed this with him prior to sex and he was very understanding.
He doesn't push you to do anything after being intimate, just do what feels right and comfortable.
But if you let him, he would like to feed some of his Quintessence through to you to help take the edge off of what ever emotion you're experiencing.
He also helps you set up some appointments with the abbeys therapist if you're interested.
But it's okay if you're not interested! Whether it's because you're not ready to delve into it yet or because you'd just prefer to talk about it with Aether.
He's used to dealing with Sodo being in bad moods every once in a while so you're a piece of cake and he knows how to not aggravate you further.
It's okay if you want him to leave you alone for a while, but it will take everything in him to not just sit outside your door and blow up your phone with text messages saying how much he loves you.
--------
RAIN
Seeing you anxious after being intimate with him, makes him feel anxious.
He tries to bring you into his arms when he notices you getting a little teary but you push him away with a slight scowl.
Then he remembers the conversation you had with him a couple of weeks ago.
It makes him want to cry when he realises how much this effects you.
Then he pulls himself together. You need something right now, and he's going to deliver.
He puts on some clothes before handing you your own, making sure to not touch you as it seems like that's not what you want right now, then gently asks "what can I do to help you?"
He's so patient while you take your time to think of what you want and if you're not sure? That's okay! He'll try some things out until one feels right.
He gets you your favourite snack, then he turns on your favourite comfort show/movie and sits down on a nearby chair watching you like a hawk for any further signs of discomfort.
He doesn't want to leave you alone like this but doesn't want to accidentally make you even more anxious by being too close.
--------
MOUNTAIN
He's pretty intuitive and tends to know what you need after each sexual experience.
Whether it's him taking you on a walk outside for a while, going through some deep breathing exercises.
Or picking up rotten apples and throwing them as hard as you can into a bin/against a wall.
Or just standing by the abbeys lake in his arms when no one's around, your legs around his waist and arms around his neck while he holds your thighs/back and gently rocks you both side to side.
Or if you just want space, he'll make sure to be around in his usual spots until you come find him.
He's determined to make sex a positive experience for you.
You're so deserving of that.
He's also big on communication after each time you have sex and will gently ask you if their's anything you wanted to bring up, or if you don't want to tell him yet, he encourages you to write it down in the journal he bought you with Copias money.
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CUMULUS
She's felt a bit of post coital dysphoria every once in a while but not to the extent that she got a diagnosis, so she can only imagine how rough that must feel.
She's amazing at adapting to the different aftercare you need each time.
She tends to keep a special basket in her bedside drawer that consists of; your favourite snacks, your favourite book, a calming spray she made with all your favourite scents and a comfy blanket.
How ever much time you need to recover, she'll supply it.
Sometimes she reads to you while you lie on the bed next to her or on her chest.
She has a very musical, soothing voice, she could be one of those people that read audio books on apps.
Or she’ll hum songs while running her hands through your hair.
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CIRRUS
She's shocked and has to pause the conversation for a second before continuing.
She's quick to reassure you that she's completely okay with sex being off the table for however long you need, months, years, decades, she'll wait.
She's determined to figure out how to help you, any way to make you feel more comfortable in the relationship.
This leads to many days and sometimes nights spent in the library, deep in thought as she reads.
Sometimes she'll come back from the library and just hug you with wide eyes before returning to the library once more.
She becomes especially protective of you after sexual intercourse, even if it's been like six hours and you're feeling better.
She just sort of follows you around the ministry as you do your chores, growling at all the siblings for no particualr reason.
No one's aloud to make her darling feel bad for things that aren't your fault (not that anyone dares).
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COPIA
He feels very honoured that you trust him enough to open up about this.
After each time you have sex he's quick to analyse how you're feeling from your facial expressions.
Does he need to get out his rats? Do you need a long nap to shake the blues? Do you want to go terrorise people with Sodo and Swiss? He'll get you food and water first, that's good. Right? That could help?
He's not afraid to talk about the real things and if you want to talk about what that sex session brought up for you, he's eager to hear about it and try to help.
He doesn't care what baggage you come with, as long as he can be yours and you can be his, he's the happiest goof on earth.
And don't stress if you go through phases of not wanting to be sexually intimate, he's happy to just hold your hand once in a while.
All he asks is that their's communication between the two of you, he'd hate to cause you any upset.
Do not plagiarise or translate my work without permission.
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lewisinho · 4 months
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✨lewis hamilton’s most underrated mercedes drives ✨🏎️
as promised, part 2 with some mercedes drives (by all means not an exhaustive list, but at the very least i hope, a worthy one); lewis’ mclazza drives collection for those interested: here
fav lil’ guy finally free from the clutches of ron dennis and mclaren, handed some rocketships, reunited with blond guy named nico and entering his domination era; live laugh love achieving zen era comes much later; this is lewis hamilton who is ready to fight god and anyone who stands in his way; there’s a ruthlessness to him and his driving, which he will use and he will use it well, he’s talented and good, you watch lewis in a car that can perform and it’s just such a pleasure to witness what he is capable of doing; he is a racer, first and foremost, and he is obsessed with winning, i mean obsessed, the way he celebrates every single win like it’s his very first; he loves and bleeds this sport, even if it can be incredibly cruel to him (and still is, to this day). and btw still the king of the fucking circus, don’t you forget it. chasing your own destiny and creating a myth out of your legacy, you know when david bowie said i always had a repulsive need to be something more than human… yeah lewis who’s afraid of not doing enough, of not being enough, he cannot remain human, he must be something more, he needs to be the best and he wants it more, and you know for a man who has ‘divine love’ tattooed on his hand, what does a narrative mean? for someone who believes that what he does is an art form and who describes racing as a spiritual experience, one must presume there is some form of divinity he believes he can obtain,,,anyway 🙃, allons-y: 
hungary 2014 🇭🇺 aka the usual hamilton hungarian cook sesh’ (he’s a bit insane around this track ngl)
arguably his most underrated non-win drive; pitlane start to p3 and features radio gold such as ✨i’m not slowing down for nico ✨💅 iconique if you ask me; the racing gods decided to plague him with brake issues and a hot seat burning his ass on top of his car already catching on fire during quali (give this guy a break lmao); everything was against him, and he still got a podium. also his overtakes during this race...and specifically THAT overtake on jev *chefs kiss*. i also endorse his criminal behaviour and his last-lap shenanigans with nico as well. 10/10 no notes.
silverstone 2015 🇬🇧 aka cloud watching pays off
lewis at silverstone. yeah. but add a bit of spice in the form of english weather™️. instincts of a man from stevenage and one prescient decision to pit for inters at just the right time before the heavens opened and you get a win by 11 seconds ahead of the next guy and a whole field of cars scrambling in the wet. luck or genius? they asked. 'i can see the clouds over stowe'. he saw the clouds and nico approaching, pulled the trigger on lap 43 and won the race, so you tell me. also features some celebratory donuts (he was so happy after the race, silverstone means a lot to him and you can really tell) and bono soaking wet on the podium 😁
brazil 2016 🇧🇷 aka the interlagos saga continues
whatever max verstappen was doing to nico rosberg in this race is one thing (objectively hilarious), but lewis hamilton, you see he won that race; babes after the race said he was watching the screens around the track while driving in the brazilian downpour, unbothered, incredibly moisturised, happy, very much in his lane, focused and flourishing; and as mentioned in lewis’ underrated mclaren drives post, lewis at interlagos is special, the lore, the myth of it all runs deep, and this is the first time he’s won! in the pouring rain, while trailing in a championship he will eventually lose, he’s finally achieved a dream he’s had: winning in brazil; the red flag period also features baby sharl nervously glancing at lewis in the haas garage (who’d have thought they’d trauma bond over a dsq in austin 7 years later…)
abu dhabi 2016 🇦🇪aka anarchy
yes, i included this race because i stand with my cancelled wife; they were calling for his ass to be fired after the race, paddy lowe was screaming in his ear to speed the hell up, blasphemy, heresy, how dare he disobey his team, how dare he want to win the championship! anyway, like yeah ofc it wasn’t entirely respectful, but it’s racing at the end of the day; a driver will prioritise himself, and lil’ war criminal lewis, i adore you very much (he had horner defending him lmfao while torger was sending him to red bull); the shitstorm in the media afterwards, goodness gracious tho; no wonder lewis and toto needed a sit-down in toto’s kitchen lol; but it’s such a beautifully well-managed race; of course he could go faster, of course he knew exactly what he was doing slowing down and speeding up in just the right places…all in one desperate but masterful attempt at winning the championship; in the end, it wasn’t in his hands, but it is still a great race to watch purely for the mind fuckery and mercedes being absolutely pissed. also, it’s very much an end of an era.
monza 2018 🇮🇹 aka one man and his machine against a nation of ~60 million people
maybe 'underrated' is the wrong word to use for this one in all honesty, people give his ‘18 post-summer break run its due honours, because this is lewis destroying the hopes and dreams of the tifosi, sebastian vettel and the ferrari establishment with maurizio arrivabene at the helm race by race, lap by lap; it’s lewis at arguably, his strongest yet, he danced in that w09, those magnificent quali laps, those races that he dominated from start to finish...but monza, oh monza, maybe there’s something so poetic about that race and starting the run of domination in ferrari land; it’s got lewis vs kimi!!! nostalgia merchants will absolutely adore this one because it’s just like those ‘07 races, also brilliant strategy from merc and lewis and his incredible, jaw-dropping race pace driving like a man possessed 
hungary 2019 🇭🇺 aka the infamous one that inspired spain '21
when lewis arrives at the hungaroring, you know the man is about to cook something worthy of a michelin star. add a two-stop strategy masterclass from one james vowles and you get an absolute classic of a race and if you know what happened just a week earlier (the trials and tribulations of hockenheim), it also feels like redemption; two cars fighting for the win, lewis banging in quali lap after quali lap as he hunts down max; clinical, faultless, and brilliant and it’s such a satisfying race to rewatch (bonus: there’s also jv on the podium and lewis looking incredibly proud)
spain 2020 🇪🇸 aka the pure brilliance of lewis and the w11
jallison’s monster, w11. when she first appeared in fp1 on a friday morning in southeastern austria, best believe the first notes of the imperial march already sounded prophetically around the styrian alps. an icon, a legend, she was the moment and we miss her dearly. pair her with one lewis hamilton, a man on a mission both on track and off it, and you will produce sexiness. purple helmet + black w11 legendary combo, the sheer cunt serving, the audacity, THE presence; i could mention any race from 2020 (notably, tuscany and portugal bc they fly under the radar as well in terms of lewis' performances) but i will add spain to this list, mostly because of what lewis said post-race about what he experienced during the race and why it epitomises the brillance of him as a driver: "i was just in a daze out there", "i was in a different zone then, didn't know it was the last lap" ; you don't reach perfection, but you chase it (as he also mentioned in the press-co), but there's something quite sublime in seeing him deliver such a performance, when he himself is left well, stunned; this is the race that could be lewis hamilton's 90 minute masterclass on tyre management.
hope you enjoyed these vroom vroom recs; might still yet do a merc 2.5 post cause there are a few other drives that also deserve a mention 💜🏎️
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quitealotofsodapop · 3 months
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JTTW-era Stone Egg part 2:
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referencing this previous post about the Pilgrims reacting to the knowledge that au!Wukong is having a baby and has a missing mate.
Ao Lie is a real bro; he figured out Wukong was a having a kid based on his dragon/horse nose, and decides to support him 100% no matter his choice at the end of the day. The fact that he suspects its an asexually-produced Stone Egg that could kill his new buddy is something Ao Lie is keeping quiet about until Wukong himself is comfortable sharing it.
Ao Lie, after Bajie accuses him of having a crush on Wukong: "Ew no! He most certainly has a mate awaiting his return - I wouldn't dare dishonor a married demon!" Wukong, brightly playing along: "Yeah, piglet! Plus, no one will ever measure up to my Mihou!" Ao Lie, confused whinny: "Excuse me, what?" Wukong, tail curling into a heart: "The strongest, most clever monkey on Flower Fruit Mountain - my equal in all including on the battlefield. <3"
The rest of the gang are pleasantly surprised... and outraged to learn that their pregnant companion has a mate that up and left him while he was pregnant. Whomever this "Macaque" figure is, the Pilgrims gonna have a stern talk with him when they find him.
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Except maybe the two former-celestials;
Bajie is just like: "Wait, did you just say this Macaque guy was your equal in battle!?" Wukong, wistful sigh: "Yeah..." Zhu Bajie & Sha Wujing: *share equally terrified looks*
Maybe they'll need to devise an attack strategy before confronting this guy head on. Ao Lie loudly states that he's gonna kick the guy if he sees him first.
Tripitaka meanwhile has to mentally wrap his head around the idea of two men marrying before he can process that *Sun Wukong* is married. The Confuscist / Buddhist attitudes at the time said "Girls have Karma Cooties"; so it was considered normal for men to "prefer other men's company" but it was still super-illegal. Being raised in a sheltered, likely all-male, monastery also adds in extra confusion for the monk. Not to mention his own asexuality.
Tripitaka: "Is it... acceptable for a man to love another man like one would a woman?" Zhu Bajie: "Only if they're into it." Tripitaka: "Wha...?"
Eventually he ends up asking the boddhisattvas and different gods for their opinions;
Tripitaka: "Is it normal amongst those in the Celestial Realm for men to... have thoughts of romance for other men?" Erlang: "Oh diyu, yeah! It's totally normal! We even have Tu'er Shen - he's the rabbit god of homosexual love!" Tripitaka, pleasantly surprised: "Oh! That's interesting - but is it accepted?" Erlang & the Plum Hill Lads: *share a footballer's huddle, whispering intensely* Erlang: "Ehhh... just don't bring it up around my uncle. He's kinda weird about it." Triptiaka, a little heartbroken: "Oh..."
Best advice comes from Guanyin herself ofc;
Guanyin: "I'm am composed of multiple energies, Tang Monk. Although I do not experience romantic feelings like say, Chang'e and Hou Yi, I know for a fact that the buddha does not judge those for whom they love - even if their fellow man do so." Tripitaka: *delighted smile!* Tripitaka, remembering why he asked: *fatherly instincts activate* "I'm going to kill that Liu'er Mihou for breaking my student's heart!"
In the Jttw Stone Egged au where Macaque lives, Tripitaka is the only one to get a solid punch in before Wukong calls the gang off.
Angst and canonical death tw under Read More;
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Zhu Bajie ultimately starts out as a huge a-hole, and the Journey makes him a little less of a jerk. One huge change Wukong noticed in his bro's behavior was around the time... he lost Macaque.
Especially in the Slow Boiled au.
Bajie would walk up to Wukong like he did many time when he tried stealing his snacks or to poke fun at him... only to sit down next to the monkey watches the moon together. Both longing.
Zhu Bajie: "You know... I wasn't lying when I said I was cursed to suffer many heartbreaks... I know what it looks like from a mile away." Wukong: *says nothing, hiding face in his arms and knees* Zhu Bajie: "You really loved that guy, huh?" Wukong: *nods, face still hidden* Zhu Bajie, confidently: "...you'll see him again. Maybe not in this lifetime, but you will." Wukong, uncharacteristically quiet: "Thanks..." Zhu Bajie: "No problem."
The pig is noticeably easier on Wukong after that day. And maybe a little more appriciative of the time he had with Culian... he's experienced enough bad love-lifes to figure out how to make things work. Maybe after the Journey is over, he'll give her a call?
He does really hope his Eldest Brother and his mate reunite in the future... even if it means in the Diyu.
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Text
|NEW ERA|
BOOK ONE
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Synopsis: You are a vampire who has been transformed a one year ago, still struggling to adjust to your new life, and now part of the supernatural community at city. Murders occur ,and they were not caused by humans, even worse that some who died were members of supernatural clas and the group of hunters ,so you and several other beings are accused and the group of hunters of the city are investigating and keep an eye on the supernaturals, and that included you.
With such keen senses, there is still some difficulty for you to control yourself and in the midst of this the problems of teenage life don’t give you a break and now with tensions on the brink of war, you and others are forced to find out who is causing these deaths before a mass slaughter occurs in the city of New Era.
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•Play as a novice vampire hiding among humans.
•Choose your gender, name and appearance.
•Fight against or meet hunters, vampires and other supernatural beings.
•Fall in love, hate, cause chaos or peace, you choose.
•Investigate, find out who or what is the real culprit while trying to stay hidden from hunters and find evidence to prevent supernatural clans and human groups from fighting each other.
•Control your bloodlust or let your instincts take over.
•Survive a city and the problems that can arise from being a teenager and a vampire.
Demo | Ko-Fi | Patreon | Discord
Chapters :2 : 131,000 Words ,Including the code.
Last update 14/march/24
Categories: romance, horror, young adult, mystery, drama, action, supernatural.
+18:Violence,Death And other mature themes
Playlist 👇
Romantic Options:
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Taylor Roberts (she/he): A hunter and a high school student ,raised from an early age to hunt supernatural creatures like you. Quiet and reserved, focused on the mission, or so should be. It was part of your past, until you had to walk away for good because of your new life, or non-life.
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Cassie Matthews (She): Flirtatious, sarcastic, and sassy. Cassie is one of the best in her class, in addition to being a member of the cheerleading squad and also a swimmer in the school's swim team. Someone who loves to party and tease, but also someone who is definitely not to be trifled with.
Note:New ro's or new ro's to be added...
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yourpsicodelicbitch · 8 months
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analyzing my solar return chart
practically spitting arguments on why I’m on my healing era. there’ll be part 2 if you liked it 💋
love you all🫶🏼 sending kisses ‼️🧚‍♀️🌈✨
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Pluto 12H
Pluto on solar return chart represents emotional/physiological growth, transformation and how you confront the area of life the sign and house this planet is positioned. 12H signifies the area or things you try to avoid, what’s hidden, psychological issues, the subconscious. could mean being conscious about yourself on an introspection manner, deep analysis. specifically, if last year you’ve had struggle of taking care of your mental health and in this solar return you’ve recently took action and searched for the “origin”, for what could help to stay better or improve it. Also could mean -since my experience- to “open your eyes” about familiar or ancestral issues that can be cut and treated by yourself.
Jupiter 3H
Jupiter on sr chart points out what you’ll expand on that period of time, abundance and way of expression. 3H indicates communication, mental stimulation, extreme curiosity or interest on various topics, being open to listen to opinions that were rejected before. basically, on this period, communication is your way of express your needs, passions, what bothers you. being healthy, direct, you’ll learn and will try your best? you’ll expand your knowledge. you could be more histrionic or spontaneous, people could accept or be intrigued by your mindset or behavior.
Uranus 4H
Uranus indicates change, the unexpected/unpredictable, different from what you’re comfortable. 4H representing family, home, traditions, domestic stuff. change on family dynamic and situations. to put you in context, if you’ve always were conflicted about the basis of your household, manners and tradition, about your place, to feel part of it. this sr you’re fighting for your truth respecting to your emotions and feelings to be part of your family.
Chiron conjunct North Node
Chiron in sr represents the area of difficulties in this period of time, weaknesses that you’ll like to avoid bc it’s complex to treat them. could also mean how or in what you’ll get hurt -even tough I don’t like the idea 😭-. North Node in sr indicates the are of life you’ll be more challenged and therefore, being able to growth. by this two being in conjunction, signifying the energies of both are concentrated. basically, this solar return im gonna be able to not avoid the issues I’m more afraid to uncover and not only work on it but will be able to do it good, like when you’ve seen moo but it’s too disgusting to clean it but you’ve decide to finally clean it with an old brush rough -best example😍-.
Mars conjunct Part of Fortune
one of the things Mars represents in sr chart it’s passion, action and ambition, instincts, and where the energy characterized for the ones mentioned before is projected and also into our goals this period of time. Part of Fortune in sr indicates where you’ll be lucky and successful, your potential. this aspects evidences that I’ll success directing my passion trough my goals.
Moon sextile Saturn
this screams “from being mentally inestable from trying to be mentally stable”. this period of time I’m gonna be more analytical and responsable, organized. Saturn is characterized by “control”, wanting to be in control, etc. this could also mean you’re getting stressed for little things but also you’ll want everything to be “okay” -whatever that means to you-, counting yourself -not saying 100% but at least you’ll tried once to discover wtf is wrong with you jk, your traumas, what bothers you, I’m willing to affirm that bc of this you’re gonna be able or learn how to persuade people on doing what you want. depends on the pure soul of yours 😩
—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•
❀ Based on my personal experience and what I’ve analyzed in my surroundings.
❀ English is not my first language.
❀ I’m not a profesional astrologer, I just love astrology and I’m willing to learn…
Thank youu. baibaiii🫣🫶🏼💋
Do not copy. Please give me credits.
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d1xonss · 4 months
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Desert Rose
Chapter 21 ~ Randall
✧ Pairing : Daryl Dixon x Rose
✧ Era : Season 2
✧ Word Count : 4.1k
In this chapter ~ The entire group is relieved beyond repair when Rick and the others finally return after bringing Hershel back from the small town. Although they also bring back quite the unexpected guest, leading the others into a spiral of different opinions as they figure out what to do with him.
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~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ ROSE POV *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
My eyes groggily and slowly opened the next morning, and everything that happened yesterday rushed back to me all at once. I couldn't help but smile to myself about everything that happened with Daryl, it almost didn't feel real and a part of me questioned if I dreamt it. But my smile faltered when I looked over and saw he wasn't there, up bright and early as per usual.
I sighed and sat up, quickly changing my clothes and walked out of the tent, looking out to see everyone was gathered around talking near the front of the gates, and I noticed quickly the guys still weren't back yet. Concern and worry pooled at the pit of my stomach, thinking what the hell could be taking them this long to come back. It couldn't have meant anything good, and by the looks of it, everyone was saying and voicing everything I was thinking.
I slowly began to make my way up to them upon hearing enough from a distance, the rest of them too into the conversation to even notice my sudden presence. They were going back and forth about who should go after them since Shane apparently didn't step up and go like he said he was going to. At this point to me I didn't matter who left, just someone needed to.
Listening to them argue constantly about the same thing over and over again for hours, it was starting to get under my skin. I would be more than happy to step up and take a car out to find them considering Lori couldn't even handle that. It really didn't have to be this difficult, though they couldn't seem to make up their minds about what we were supposed to do.
"Sorry I didn't wake ya up."
I jumped a bit at the sudden quiet voice coming from behind me, only turning my head over my shoulder to see Daryl smiling down at me with a certain glint in his eyes. Safe to say that it truly wasn't a dream.
A small smile made its way onto my lips as my head turned back towards the others, "Yeah, what the hell?" I quietly replied.
He scoffed, not doubt rolling his eyes, "Ya looked tired, ya needed the extra hour. Yer welcome."
"Thank you." I said, turning back around momentarily to send him a wink.
But my head whipped back around in a split second when I heard the sound of a car coming up the dirt road and heading straight towards the farm, pushing through the gates. A red and unrecognizable car pulled up onto the land, everyone squinting their eyes to try and see inside if it was the men we were talking about this very moment. But the second Rick stepped out of the driver's seat, the group collectively relaxed seeing that they were okay.
Relief washed over me quickly once I saw Glenn and Hershel step out as well, not having a single scratch on them. With so many things happening in the last few hours, I forgot how long they were actually gone. How long they were out there facing God only knows what that was keeping them from coming back all night.
Lori and Carl quickly rushed over to Rick, while Maggie ran up to her dad and practically tackled him in a hug, leaving Glenn just standing there with his hands in his pockets. I couldn't stay in place even if I wanted to, instinctively walking over towards him in a flash before I was bringing him into a tight hug as well.
"Hey." I breathed, "Are you okay?"
He only squeezed me tighter, "I'm okay." he whispered, his voice coming out more drained and tired than normal, but I believed him.
I hadn't realized how much I had missed him until he was actually here again, seemingly safe and back with everyone else. My eyes then looked back up, spotting Maggie over his shoulder with her saddened eyes looking directly at the two of us which caused me to smile and let him go. I nodded towards the woman and Glenn turned around just in time to see her crashing into his arms as she cried.
My feet took a few steps backwards, watching the couple reunite while everyone else around us made sure that all the guys were really okay, somewhat expecting an explanation. I was lost in my own mind for a moment or two, before I felt a presence next to me, turning to see Rick seeming to be doing the same thing I was.
I nudged his side, "Good to have you back."
He smiled warmly at me, "It's good to be back." he said, placing a comforting hand on my shoulder.
I smiled back up at him, before Hershel's voice suddenly called out towards the house, "Patricia, prepare everything for surgery." he spoke urgently.
"Are you hurt?" Lori asked as her eyes scanned Rick for anything serious.
He opened his mouth to respond, to try and explain himself and what happened, but T-Dog's voice cut through whatever he was trying to say, "Who the hell is that?" the man asked.
"That's Randall." Glenn muttered, gesturing back towards the car.
My eyes snapped over to him in shock, walking up closer to the vehicle to see a strange man in the backseat, a bandanna tied tightly over his eyes while his wrists were bound as well. His breathing was heavy as he stayed perfectly still against the seats, but I couldn't have been more shocked. I was absolutely blown away as to why the hell they thought it was okay to bring a stranger back here, but before I could mutter a word, I felt my arm being pulled back.
I turned and saw Daryl trying to lead me away further from the car door, wanting me far away from this guy, and I let him. I couldn't lie; I was angry. Frustrated at the fact that they thought it was perfectly okay to bring someone back here when they didn't know shit about what he was capable of. I didn't care that he was hurt, or that he needed help, we didn't know him at all and that should've been enough.
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A few hours had passed and right now we were all waiting inside the house for Hershel to come back in and tell us how the surgery went. They had at least a somewhat steady head on their shoulders as they thought it was a good idea to keep him locked in the shed. But that didn't make the rest of us feel any safer.
We went back and forth about why they brought him back here for a while, and to say Shane was pissed about it would be an understatement. It was like a never-ending cycle. We would argue about it, silence, then we would start arguing again. Right now it was quiet, and I was just looking around at their faces, waiting for someone else to say something else. But based on the story that the guys told us, I think they should've left him.
Some random guys had apparently showed up to the bar Hershel was holed up at, talking to them for a while casually like they were old friends. But that didn't last long as they starting demanding to be brought back here to this farm with their group, wanting a safe place to stay. But with the way they were acting, they couldn't be trusted. Rick ended up having to kill them after they pulled out their weapons first, knowing that he would rather have them die then Hershel and Glenn.
But then their group suddenly showed up to the bar, looking around for their two missing guys. It ended up being a huge face off, shooting at each other endlessly before walkers eventually heard the bullets flying around, causing them all to flee. But there was one man that got injured, landing right down on a sharp fence as he tried to leap off of the building he was on top of. And his group left him behind, causing our guys to go and save his ass.
And now here we are.
From just the story alone, the little pieces of information, I already didn't trust him at all. Hell, none of us even knew if he was going to make it because of the severe injury on his leg. I know my thoughts were cruel for a human being, but his group sounded dangerous.
Rick sighed at the silence, speaking up after what felt like hours, "He would've bled out, if he lived that long."
"What do we do with him?" Andrea asked.
Rick's response to her was cut short when we heard the back door opening, Hershel appearing into the dining room as he cleaned his hands, "I repaired his calf muscle as best as I could, but he'll probably have nerve damage." he informed.
"When he's back on his feet, we give him some supplies, take him out to the main road and send him on his way." Rick stated.
My brows furrowed in confusion, "Then why did you bring him back? If you planned on ditching him anyway in the end, why go through all the trouble?" I asked.
"Because this way it'll give him a fighting chance." Rick responded.
Shane scoffed from where he stood, "We're just gonna let him go? He knows where we are."
"He was blindfolded the whole way here, he's not a threat." Rick replied.
"Not a threat... how many were there? You killed three of their men, took one of them hostage, and they just ain't gonna come looking for them?" Shane asked with edge to his tone.
My leg began to bounce anxiously from under the table, somehow not even thinking of the possibility of his group finding us, or him running off back to them. Well...limping off back to them I suppose. But I was worried about Carl and Beth's safety the most out of everyone, and now Lori since she was carrying another life right along with hers. We had to be more careful about this instead of just dropping him off carelessly somewhere with the risk of him coming back.
"His group left him for dead, no one is looking." Rick started to raise his voice, arguing again.
T-Dog then stepped in, "We should still post a guard." he said matter-of-factly.
"He's out cold right now, will be for hours." Hershel stated.
Shane huffed as he shook his head, pushing himself off the wall to walk out of the room, "Y'know I'm just gonna go get us some flowers and candy. Look at this folks, we're back in fantasy land." he sarcastically said.
Hershel watched him walk away before stepping up right as he was about to leave the house, "You know we haven't even dealt with what you did to my barn yet." he voiced loudly, "Let me make this perfectly clear once and for all. This is my farm, now I wanted you gone but Rick talked me out of it, that doesn't mean I have to like it. So do us both a favor, and keep your mouth shut."
Wow, go Hershel. Shane just stood there for a moment glancing back at everyone, before sighing heavily and making his dramatic exit, slamming the door shut behind him. Hershel turned back after he was long gone and made eye contact with me. I gave him an impressed look, raising my hand to give him a subtle thumbs up, to which he smiled small in return.
"Look, we aren't going to do anything about it today, let's just cool off." Rick spoke, now finding the urge to leave right along with him.
The rest of us then started to leave without another word, slowly getting up from their chairs. I didn't want to just continue to brush this off forever, but it seemed as though everyone was done with discussing it for now with how frustrated we all became. So, I began to slowly follow everyone's lead, pushing my chair out and heading out of the room to go upstairs and check on Beth. I hadn't seen her or heard how she was doing since yesterday, and I wanted to make sure she had been doing okay since then.
Her door was open when I approached it, causing me to slowly peek inside to see her laying down on her bed with a far off look in her eye. I stood in the doorway for a moment, before eventually pushing myself forward and taking a seat at the end of her bed. My eyebrows pulled together in obvious worry, seeing her not moving an inch as she stared up at the ceiling, not even acknowledging my presence.
"Hey hon." I greeted, managing a small smile as I gently reached over to grasp her hand. She didn't take it, but she also didn't pull away.
A few minutes ticked by silently like that, with her not saying a thing even though she was much more aware of things than she was yesterday. I could easily tell she had a lot on her mind, her mind running constantly as she didn't even feel the need to talk. I wanted her to be okay, but I also didn't want to bother her if she just wanted to be alone right now, I understood that. But I also wanted her to know that I would be right her for her if she needed me.
"I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I'll come back later, yeah?" I asked.
Upon hearing me say that, her eyes slowly looked towards me, still not saying a word though she gave my hand a squeeze. That's all I needed to see to know she wanted me to come back, silently telling me without having to utter a word. I gave her hand a small squeeze in return before I slowly stood back up, leaving her alone as I shut the door a crack behind me.
I walked out of the house and towards the tent to grab my sketchbook from the bag I still had yet to unpack. I figured now would be a good time to try and finish the painting of the house since everyone else was just doing their own thing for the rest of the day, avoiding the problem that still laid in the shed. I began to work as soon as I found the same spot I had sat in only a few days ago, picking up where I left off, focusing on the small details in the house that some people might miss when they first look at it. I wanted to be able to capture it as well as I could.
Lost in thought, I didn't even hear someone walking up to me until they sat themselves down right in the space next to me. I looked over to see Glenn situating himself, waiting for him to say something, but instead he just stayed silent. My mind didn't linger on it for very long before I accepted his silent presence, going back to painting only a few seconds later.
I could easily see that he was stressed about the stranger just beyond the field, locked in the shed, worried about what the outcome would be in the end. And I understood completely that sometimes you just needed someone beside you for comfort when thinking about something stressful like this. I guess in a way, I needed him too.
Though after about an hour, we were still sitting there in silence, and I was almost done with it for the day and coming to a good place to stop. I wordlessly showed Glenn my progress and he took the sketchbook in his hands, taking his time looking over at all of the details as his eyes scanned rapidly over the paper. A smile spread onto his face that I couldn't help but beam at as he admired my work. He handed it back over to me once he was done and I just silently got up after that, placing a hand on his back as I moved around him, heading back over to Daryl and I's shared tent.
It honestly took everything in me not to tell Glenn about Daryl and I, feeling as if it was somehow wrong to keep it hidden from him. Though that statement alone just made me realize more that he truly was my best friend, because I physically couldn't keep secrets from him. But it wasn't just my privacy, it was Daryl's too. Not only that, but it was his request that we only keep it between us for now, knowing how nosy the people in this group could be. And that's what made me bite my tongue.
As I entered the small space to put everything away, I noticed that he wasn't sitting in there like I assumed he would be. My brows furrowed in confusion that I hadn't really seen him all day other than the little meeting we had in the dining room. But that only made me want to go out and find him, my boredom only growing once I was creatively burnt out for the day.
So I left the tent only seconds later, zipping it back up to close the small space before I turned around and ran right into the person suddenly standing behind me. Speak of the devil.
Daryl stood tall as he looked down at me with a soft smile, stepping back a step or two once he noticed how close he truly was.
"Hey." I breathed, "I was actually just about to come look for you."
"Weird, I was actually lookin for ya too." he smirked, "Wanted to see if you wanted to come on a hunt with me."
I felt my eyes light up a little more at the idea as I nodded my head. "Yeah, I'd love to."
His smile only grew as he nodded towards the trees, "Alright, come on."
We gathered our weapons and walked into the forest, both of us had our eyes on the ground looking for tracks. I was really hoping that we would start to see some deer tracks, and not just come back with a bunch of squirrels like always, but that was wishful thinking. We hadn't seen any type of bigger animal since we stepped foot onto Hershel's land.
"Ya ever learn how to shoot one of these?"
I looked over my shoulder to see Daryl holding up his crossbow, and I only smiled with a shake of my head, "No I haven't. I always kind of wanted to have a bow, but I never got a chance to learn or anything."
He then moved over to me and hovered the crossbow over my hands, barely brushing my fingertips against it. Right as I was about to question what he was doing, he finally placed it down in my hands, jerking down a little because of how heavy the thing actually was. Cursing under my breath, I adjusted the weapon in my hands before looking back up at him with raised brows.
"I said I didn't know how to shoot one." I clarified, "And damn no wonder your arms are huge, this thing is like a tank."
He raised his eyebrows at me in amusement, "Ya think my arms are huge?" he asked, his face flushed slightly.
My eyes narrowed at him, "Don't pretend like you're not aware. Everything you own is sleeveless."
He scoffed and just shook his head, crossing his arms in front of his chest when I attempted to hand the weapon right back to him, "I'll teach ya right now. Just gotta find ya a target."
I hummed, "Okay." I agreed as we began walking again, "But let's start simple, I don't want to throw my back out with this thing."
He chuckled quietly to himself, "Fair enough."
We didn't have to walk very far before we found a tree that looked to be good enough to practice on, thinner, a harder target yet something that wasn't moving. Handing the weapon back to Daryl so he could actually load the damn thing, I took it back in my hands and tried to steady myself with the extra weight. But apparently it was obvious I was having trouble.
My hands slightly shook as I tried to hold it up towards my eye to actually aim correctly, but then suddenly the weight wasn't an issue anymore. Daryl silently came up behind me as he noticed me struggle, placing his hands over mine to take some of the heaviness away as he fixed my stance. He got down to my level, his face just inches away from my neck as he tried to instruct me.
"Alright, yer gonna want to aim a bit to the right." his voice echoed by my ear.
Instant chills ran down my spine when he said that, his deep voice being the only thing I could hear other than my heart beating wildly in my chest. He was so close and that smug bastard knew exactly what he was doing. I almost wanted to kick myself for allowing him to teach me the thing he knew best, because I should've known he would've pulled something like this. Ceasing the opportunity.
But I didn't move the crossbow like he instructed, only turning my head slightly to the left to look him in the eye. Our faces were inches apart, out noses barely brushing against each other and a noticeable smirk started to grow on his face.
"So, when you said you wanted to teach me...was it so you could be this close to me?" I asked him with a tilt of my head.
His eyes flickered to my lips for a second before saying, "Nah, there's another reason."
"So, what's the reason?"
He was silent for a long moment, racking his brain for another excuse as he slowly became more flustered at the situation he put himself in. It was amusing to watch, seeing him not being able to come up with a single explanation as his mind only really wanted on thing.
"If you wanted to kiss me...all you had to do was ask." I whispered against his lips, finally closing the space between us.
The moment I felt him kiss me back, I immediately discarded the crossbow and I tossed it to the ground. My hands found the way to his neck, while his fingers hooked onto the loops of my jeans, pulling me closer. Our lips moved in sync so effortlessly, his tongue slowly pushing its way into my mouth.
He began to push me up against the tree gently and his hands made their way to my lower back, the warmth sending goosebumps rising on my skin in seconds. I finally couldn't take it anymore and I pulled back, needing air. We both were trying to catch our breath, when I opened my eyes to see him looking down at me with the same damn smirk on his face.
"What?" I asked.
"I thought of another reason. If yer back was against the wall and ya only had a crossbow to protect yerself with, ya already know how to use it." he said matter-of-factly.
I scrunched up my nose as I thought for a moment, "Four out of ten." I rated.
He chuckled, placing his forehead against mine, "At least I tried." he muttered, "Do I get a prize for tryin?"
I laughed lightly and pulled him back in for another kiss. This one was much softer and shorter, but just as amazing nonetheless. I pulled away to glance up at his bright beautiful eyes for a moment, before he pecked my lips once more and pulled away fully. He walked back over, picking up his crossbow from where it had fallen in the leaves and looked at me expectantly.
"Still wanna learn?" he asked smugly.
I rolled my eyes, "Yes." I said before following his lead.
Then the next few hours were filled with us talking, laughing, and sharing a few kisses here and there. It was nice to be able to just be with each other like this, away from the chaos back at the farm, and away from the stranger left in the shed. I really appreciated Daryl taking me out on this hunt because it was a good distraction from just everything going on.
But to my surprise, he admitted a little later on that the whole reason he took me out here was because he knew I was stressed about the whole Randall situation, and wanted to be able to take my mind off of it for a few hours. My heart warmed almost instantly when he told me that, looking at him in almost a new light as I admired him.
What I felt for this man, I had never felt for anyone else before, and I really liked it.
~ Thanks for reading!
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have-kake · 19 days
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Big Brother [3/3]
Three instances of big brother instincts within the chain. [Ao3 Link]
[Part 1: Wind] [Part 2: Twilight] [Part 3: Warriors]
The chain had been traveling aimlessly until a portal dumped them back in the middle of Hyrule field. Legend groans loudly at their surroundings. It feels like every time they decide to go to a town, a portal gets in their way.
"I think this is mine," Time says, a faint smile on his face.
Hyrule instantly perks up. "Does that mean we get to see Miss Malon again?"
Time grins at him. "If you don't mind the farm work."
Wind woops in response much to everyone's amusement.
"Welp, I guess it's settled," Wars says patting Time on the back "We're off to see the Missus again!"
Malon greets them all warmly. She spends time hugging each of them as she welcomes them home. She even introduces them to her father who's home this time. He's a portly old man with deep crows feet and laugh lines around his mouth. Much like Malon, he's able to instantly identify Twilight as a farmer.
Time tries to put them to work but quickly gets overruled by Malon and Talon. Wars won't admit it, but he's grateful for their intervention. Farm work is hard. Last time, he felt muscles he didn't even know he had ache!
Some of the group still insist on working, though. Twilight bullies his way into helping Malon clean the cow stables. Sky is more than happy to herd cuccos. And Four finds his way to the farrier.
Wars grins as Time shuffles around the house for a few minutes. He's completely changed out of his armor into stiffer clothes. "Heading out to help too?" Wars asks.
Time pauses in his search to look up at him. "Hm? Yeah. I'm gonna help Talon weed the crops."
Wars' grin widens. He glances around making sure the others aren't around. "You know," he starts off innocently. He tries not to laugh at the look Time gives him. "I'm glad I finally get to meet my little brother's old man. He must have a well of Patience greater than the expanses of time itself to deal with you."
"Just because I've told him about you doesn't mean he believes it."
"Malon believed you. Besides, it won't be too hard to convince him."
"You're going to be insufferable aren't you?" Time asks drily.
"Oh, absolutely," Wars replies without hesitation. "It's only fair."
The weary sigh of defeat he gets is music to his ears.
--
Wars sits on the porch as Wind, Hyrule, and Wild all run around in circles. He won't pretend to know what game they're playing, but it's nice to see them relax.
"Aren't there nine of you boys?"
He smiles at Talon as the old man takes a seat in the other chair. "Legend's inside taking a nap," he says. "He gets cranky when we're on the road for too long."
Talon laughs. "I'd've thought a Hero would be used to the road."
Wars startles. He knows Time tells Malon everything and she believes him, but he made it seem like Talon never did. It's jarring to hear him speak with the same candidness Malon does, but Wars is glad Time has people he can talk to. "Legend's been through more adventures than any of us," he explains. "All in just a handful of years... He deserves the rest."
"You boys are all so young," Talon says quietly.
Wind shrieks in delight when Hyrule picks him up and tosses him to Wild. Hyrule's accompanying laughter is carefree, and even Wild's smile is easier than usual.
Mask was bitter when he first stepped through the portal. It had nothing to do with the horrors of war. He was already haunted by pain and loss long before he ever set foot in Wars' era. He was so young; about the same age as Wind at the time. Yet the two are as different as night and day.
Sensing his mood, Talon starts to get up. "What d'you say to helping me get started on dinner, boy?"
Wars follows him with a quiet chuckle. "I know an order when I hear one, sir," he grins, "but fair warning: I'm a terrible cook."
He's surprised by how well Talon directs him around the kitchen. It's not the ease with which Time and Malon function with each other, or the ease Wild finds in any kitchen. But it's nice.
Time enters some time later and pauses at the sight of them. He raises a single eyebrow when Wars spots him.
Wars shrugs in response.
"What happened to letting the boys rest?" Time asks.
"I know a man in need of a distraction when I see one," Talon responds plainly. "See if you can't go help Malon and your boy. Dinner'll be done in an hour."
Time narrows his eyes at the two. Wars gives him a cheeky grin and Time scowls. They're not planning anything, but Time doesn't have to know that.
Talon chuckles at their exchange. "He keeps doing stuff like that, and I'll have to believe him."
"Oh?"
Talon claps him on the back. "I know what brothers tormenting each other looks like."
Wars laughs. "I need to get payback somehow."
"So you really knew him when he was a kid?"
"Only for about three years, but yes."
Talon hesitates for a moment. Wars is instantly on guard. "Has he always been vague about his answers?"
"What do you mean?" He asks carefully.
"Like if you ask him the things he's fought."
Wars instantly relaxes. "Lemme guess," he says drily. "The moon."
Talon nods with a tired look. "He won't explain it either."
"I know what you mean," he sighs. "When he first showed up in my world and demanded to fight, we asked him what the biggest thing he fought was and he said the moon. So we asked him what he meant. And guess what he does?"
Talon points up.
"Yes!" He raises his arm straight up and points. He does his best impression of Mask's scowling face, and with a patronizing voice he says, "I mean the moon! What's so hard to understand about that? If you don't get something as easy as that, why are you even in charge?"
Talon howls with laughter.
"So a few weeks ago I ask him the same thing. Y'know, to see if his answer's changed." Wars grins. "Hey Old Man, what's the biggest thing you ever fought?"
"The– oh ho," Talon wheezes between laughs. "The moon!"
"The moon!" Wars crows. "And he still refuses to elaborate!"
--
Dinner prep continues on for almost another hour. Wars knew that making food for so many people was a process, but he never realized how intensive it was. He's more than a little frayed by the time they finish. Talon pats him on the back approvingly, and the looks on the others faces is more than worth it.
He spends a little time watching the others as they settle down to eat. Time and Twilight sit on either side of Malon. Wind takes a seat next to Talon and makes easy conversation with the old man.
Wind really is a kid of many talents. He handles a grumpy Legend with the grace of a practiced brother while falling for his bait in equal measures. Yet he's able to hold long and easy conversations with adults and the elderly.
Wars is glad his adventures don't weigh him down. At least, he hopes they don't and Wind isn't just hiding the pain.
"You okay, Cap?" Twilight asks.
"Yeah. Just thinking of the little brother I had for a second."
Twilight and those closest to them grow quiet. "Sorry."
Wars raises an eyebrow before laughing loudly. "It's nothing like that!" He assures to all the sad faces. "It's just what he became to me. He was sent home when all was said and done. I do still miss him to this day, though," he sighs with a hand on his chest. He grins at the way Time snorts.
Wind lets out a loud sound of disappointment from across the table. "Does that mean I'll never get to meet him?"
Sometimes Wars forgets Wind spent a few weeks in his war. It was so late into the fighting, the war was practically over. That and he was far from the main fighting, usually just holding the far lines from any advances. It's just as important for holding the army together as the main lines, but fairly uneventful by the time Wind got there. He's still kicking himself for not making the time to go meet him properly back then.
"Count yourself lucky," Wars teases. "I love him, but he was an absolute menace."
Legend snorts. "Can't be that bad."
"Two words," he says making eye contact with Time. "Mask Duty."
Wind chokes on his juice. After he gets his coughing in control he all but shouts, "Mask was your little brother?!”
He's taken aback by the response. "Yeah?"
Wind scrambles to pull his sleeve back and hold up his forearm. "He bit me!"
Wars' jaw drops.
Talon and Hyrule lean over to get a better look.
Wars turns to Time who's studiously picking at his plate. He rubs a hand over his face with a groan. "Great Three, please have mercy on me. Is that why I was stuck on stable duty for almost two months?"
The others snicker at him.Time uses the noise to mutter a quiet, "No," but Wars knows that tone. It absolutely was his fault.
With a long dramatic sigh, Wars uses his melodramatic voice, as Mask liked to call it. He likes to call it his tired older brother voice. "Wind, on behalf of my little brother, I apologize for his horrible behavior. I ask you find it in your heart to forgive him."
Time glares at him but he has practice ignoring that particular look.
Twilight whistles lowly. "That sounds practiced. How often did he get in trouble?"
Wars resists the urge to smirk. "More times than I can count," he sighs sadly. "But I'm sure you'd all rather hear something else."
Just as expected, the table explodes into commotion. He sends a smirk Time's way and nearly cracks. Time's scowl has turned into a full on pout. Suddenly Wars finds himself look at Mask like he's been caught sneaking into the stables for the third time that week and not an adult ten years his senior with a wife.
"Okay, okay," Wars laughs. "I'll tell you a few stories."
He tells them of the first time Mask appeared on the field and the absolute mayhem it caused. A good portion of the soldiers had their attention split between halting the enemy Lieutenant and keeping the literal child safe. Not that Mask made it easier. He refused to be pulled off the field and even broke the hand of one of the soldiers trying to hold him back.
Wars tells them of the way his heart leapt into his throat when Mask rushed forward. A tiny child with a sword too big to properly carry rushing at a monster three times his size! Only for the little boy to swing the the massive claymore and slice the monster in two.
They still tried to bench Mask after that, of course. No one felt comfortable putting a child in the front lines despite his clear skill. That didn't matter to Mask, though.
It was a particularly hard battle and they were loosing. Impa was out for the count and Wars wasn't advancing fast enough. They would've lost—died—if Mask hadn't jumped in with all the unpredictability of a storm.
"You should have seen the way he yelled at us!" He wheezes. "I've never seen Impa or Artemis make faces like that before. He got his wish, though, and he was put in the main lines."
Malon giggles. "My, he seems like quite the spirited young man." Her eyes shine with mirth as Time's shoulders hike up in embarrassment.
"And very protective of the people around him," he nods. "For as much trouble as he caused, as much as he yelled and terrorized everyone, he loved the people around him."
Sky coos at the story. "He was probably so sweet in private."
Wars laughs. "Hardly! You just had to learn how he showed affection."
Hyrule winces. "Oh gosh, how bad?"
"So a lot of the soldiers didn't like we let a kid in the field right," he says, "so they started acting up. They'd question orders, disregard plans, speak I'll of her Majesty. Mask would absolutely terrorize the poor souls. I'd almost feel bad if they didn't deserve it."
"Wait, so how did Mask Duty start?" Wind asks.
"Mostly from that. Soldiers who questioned Artemis about Mask's presence ended up with the kid in their squads. That eventually evolved to a punishment for any serious offenses."
Wind cackles, surely remembering the fearful whispers of Mask Duty among the troops.
"Surely he wasn't a menace the whole time?" Sky winces.
"Well yeah, he was still a kid," Wars shrugs. "Show him something cool and he'll play with it for days. And he loved slight of hand tricks! He'd even pull on my scarf to get my attention. I'm not paying attention to him, he'll yank until I do. I'm spending too much time trying the perfect a strategy, and he'll yank on my scarf until I stop. I skip a meal, and he yanks until I get something to eat. He has a nightmare and instead of just waking me up, he drops all his weight on to my stomach."
He's completely lost in thought by this point. At the time, Mask had seemed to be constantly harassing him, but the years have given him perspective. Mask was just making sure they didn't crumble under the weight of responsibility.
"There was one particular battle that went horribly. Our forces were decimated. We barely escaped with our lives. Zelda completely closed herself off from everyone," he says quietly. "Not even Impa could get to her. Those were some dark days... But then one day laughter breaks through the silence. Mask had gotten Zelda to leave her tent. She was pale and her eyes red from crying, but she was playing in the mud with him."
He chuckles feeling the sudden tightness in his throat. "I think we'd all forgotten what joy was at that point. For as much trouble as he caused, Mask reminded us all there was still hope."
There's a tug on his scarf and Wars automatically looks down before remembering he has to look up now. Time's face is concerned as he looks him over. "You okay?"
Wars smiles. He pushes back the memories and ruffles Time's hair. "I'm fine, Sprite. Don't worry about it."
The table explodes into a mess of shouts and questions. Wars startles so bad he bangs his knee on the underside of the table.
"You bit me!" Wind accuses.
Time sputters, face pink with embarrassment. He looks to Wars for help.
Wars shrugs. "I told you you'd face the consequences of your actions one day." Time looks so panicked at the prospect that Wars caves immediately.
He helps Time field as many questions and accusations as he can. Eventually the others calm down. Though they spend the rest of the evening muttering amongst themselves and taking turns looking at Wind's bite mark.
Wars shakes his head as Twilight looks at the mark for the third time. "I can believe you bit him."
Time crosses his arms defensively. "He tried to take my Keaton mask."
"That's not an excuse to bite someone!"
Time looks away with a huff.
Wars laughs. He throws an arm around Time's neck and drags the man down at an uncomfortable angle. "Spirits, you've chilled out, but you're still the same little shit I knew," he says fondly. "I can't believe it took me so long to recognize you."
Time growls and yanks on his scarf in annoyance. Wars smirks at the feeling. It's the same way he used try to choke Wars when he was younger.
With practiced ease, and no longer having to hold back against a little kid, Wars wrestles Time to the floor. He grins triumphantly from where he sits on Time's back. "You're gonna have to try harder than that, Sprite," he teases. "Maybe I can give you some pointers."
Time deflates, seemingly accepting his fate.
"I can't believe he's a younger brother," Legend mutters with a frown.
Twilight stands next to him with a truly horrified expression.
Wind nods, seemingly unbothered by Twilight's unresponsiveness. "It almost makes too much sense."
"You're a terrible person," Time mutters.
Wars pats him on the head. "I know."
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bindeds · 2 months
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explaining my musical-only lucifer magne/morningstar playlist bc i would be confused too if i just happened to chance upon this on spotify BUT I HAVE EXPLANATIONS I PROMISE
quick disclaimer before i start, this playlist is still a wip and these are just my headcanons of lucifer’s story from his pov! i just wanted to share because i wasn’t sure if anyone’s done anything like this (and i may have hyperfixated on this instead of falling asleep, whoops.)
i grew up on theatre so a lot of these songs mean a great deal to me, though some of the movie versions are here instead of the animated films (for disney only) because i simply prefer the movie versions.
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i arranged the playlist according to the (rough) order of events, meaning i’ll be going section by section which represents each stage of his story. i won’t be going through every single song but majority of the time, the titles explain themselves but i will be talking about the songs that stand out to me.
of course, we have his heaven era, which has two subparts—his admiration for heaven but his hopes and dreams for a brighter future for the world they’ll make.
speaking of subparts, lmk if you want a part 2 of this as i’ll only be covering the ‘first arc’ of this backstory in this post and i have songs all the way up until the hotel becomes successful (which hasn’t happened yet, i know. but sometimes i am hopeful.)
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i feel like honor to us all not only represents how lucifer had to conform to the other angels’ way of thinking but also just how rigid the rules and system of heaven is. the entire song, mulan gets told that she must be this or that and a lot of it are almost impossible standards, and i imagine lucifer, especially being the dreamer that he is, found it even just a little suffocating in the beginning and of course it grew worse as time went on.
“men (god) want girls (angels) in good taste; calm, obedient who work fast paced”
i imagine the angel’s got to properly see the wonderful things lucifer was capable of before he started talking about them and i think the greatest show represents that well.
a million dreams is obviously a song that can describe lucifer’s many creative ideas and goals for the new world they’re going to make soon.
— mother knows best is where his pure admiration becomes unstable doubt as it’s god/the angels shutting lucifer down on his ideas (and possibly gaslighting him into making him feel ashamed for having ideas.)
proud of your boy is lucifer listening to god at first, seeing as being an angel is all he’s ever known, of course his first instinct was to obey god and listen to the other angels.
waving through a window describes lucifer’s struggle with being shut down and being forced to essentially hide who he is, and since he was no longer allowed to take part in the making of man, he was on the ‘outside looking in.’ lucifer also gave the angels reasons to stare at him and cast him out when he shared his ideas so the first line fits perfectly.
“give them no reason to stare; no slipping up if you slip away, so i’ve got nothing to share. no i’ve got nothing to say.”
“we start with stars in our eyes; we start believing that we belong; but every song doesn’t rise, and no one tells you where you went wrong.”
“when you’re falling in a forest, and there’s nobody around, do you ever really crash or even make a sound? did i even make a sound, did i even make a sound, it’s like i never made a sound—will i ever make a sound?”
— DEFINITELY represents how he was casted down into heaven later on, and he wonders if he ever even mattered to the angels, if he made even just one valuable contribution in their eyes, so maybe they can reconsider and see that he could be forgiven.
waiting on a miracle definitely refers to him being a part of the angels and yet they don’t quite treat him with the same respect just because of his ideas, and him ultimately hoping that he can go back to being or feeling loved by god wholly.
“don’t be upset, or mad at all; don’t feel regret, or sad at all. hey i’m still apart of the family madrigal (angels) …”
“and i’m fine, i am totally fine; i will stand on the side as you shine … i’m not fine, i’m not fine.” — ‘shine’ could refer to the archangels making the new world without him.
“i can’t move the mountains; i can’t make the flowers bloom, i can’t stay another night up in my room”
— of course this isn’t about lucifer being unable to do things, but i think it could mean that unlike the other angels, he’s just not comfortable bending completely to god’s command if he has genuinely good ideas to offer. but of course, no one listens to him.
i’d like to think almost there is both about lucifer almost getting the whole ‘conforming to the angel’s rigid rules’ thing right, AND refining his ideas so that maybe heaven doesn’t find them so outlandish and they won’t cast him out again, even if the chances are highly unlikely. judging from just how reluctantly he was to let charlie go to heaven that time, it seemed that lucifer really was as hopeful or even more hopeful than charlie was that heaven would listen to anyone with good intentions, especially their own angels.
when will my life begin and naughty come hand in hand with the former being lucifer trying to convince himself that things are good as it is even if it doesn’t feel like it, and the latter being about two things; 1, to stop sulking about his current situation—2, actually doing something about it, thus the decision he made to visit the garden of eden (because i assume he wasn’t allowed to enter for obvious reasons) where he met lilith and began to spend time with her.
touch the sky is about lucifer getting to explore and spread his wings in eden.
something there and can you feel the love tonight is just two love songs i really like for lilith and lucifer as lilith representing belle, the beauty, is just so accurate and makes so much sense as she was made by god to be ‘the perfect woman,’ even if things didn’t turn out that way. and of course, beast represents lucifer very well because later on lucifer ends up being the devil, the worst ‘beast’ of them all.
defying gravity is lucifer’s first proper realization that heaven’s prejudice against him doesn’t matter and that he should still try to pursue his wonders despite it all. i would also like to think that lilith helped me realize this; that if lilith can make him feel this amazing and this loved being on her own, then imagine the things others can do when they too, like lilith, take matters in their own hands. thus, i headcanon that the idea of free will might have been inspired by lilith caring for lucifer. (i am a hopeless romantic like that.)
“i’m through with playing by the rules of someone else’s (god’s) game.”
“as someone (god) told me lately, everyone deserves a chance to fly.”
“and if i’m flying solo, at least i’m flying free”
— if lucifer is the only one who will support himself, at least he is no longer bound the rules that suppress him and who he is as a person/divine being.
“to those who ground me, take a message back from me; tell them how i am defying gravity.”
“and soon i’ll match them in renown.”
— and soon, lucifer will be just as good or even better than the angels who helped make the earth.
the other side is SO definitely about lucifer convincing (or maybe even seducing) eve into biting the apple of free will.
“you run with me, and i can cut you free, out of the drudgery and walls you keep in.”
— drudgery and walls very much referring to having to submit to adam and not knowing the taste of free will. same with ‘same old part you gotta play’ that plays during the chorus
“and if it’s crazy, live a little crazy; you can play it sensible, a king of conventional—or you can risk it all and see.”
— i don’t know. this quote struck me as so, authentically lucifer, the subtle playfulness in both the lyric choice and the tune towards the end.
“is this really how you’d like to spend your days, whiskey and misery, and parties and plays?”
— i can see lucifer saying this to eve 100% because it’s completely reasonable to be skeptical of a man you just met, so this could be him trying to further convince eve.
“if i were mixed up with you, i’d be the talk of the town (angels), disgraced and disowned”
— eve fighting back. though similar to how this song ends, eve gives in eventually … but i do headcanon that lucifer offered eve’s first act of free will to be either to reject or accept to have sex with him, just because i really like the idea of lucifer getting back at those who made the first humans without him by seducing both of adam’s wives.
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story of tonight is lucifer knowing that his consequences have actions, and even if his plan works, heaven wouldn’t be happy about him disobeying their orders. but at this point, lilith had been the only person to fullyaccept him for who he is, and he realizes it’s not worth conforming to the rules of people who force you to be someone you’re not.
“raise a glass to freedom; something they can never take away, no matter what they tell you.”
— definitely lucifer raising a glass to lilith and eve, because they’re most likely more free from heaven’s clutches compared to him, and both of them have discovered free will at this point already.
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if you’re still here, my god, thank you so much!! please let me know if you’d like to see me explain the rest of my playlist, and here’s the link again if you’d like to check it out on spotify :)
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