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chrisbitchtree · 2 years

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I was hoping you'd wanna do this!! This is CockAsInTheBird BTW 🐓❤ From my main blog

So many good ones, I want you to do most of them tbh hehe, but I'll settle for:

Hoping to find some old forgotten words

Thank you so much for the ask!!! 💕💕💕 It was so fun to fill, even if it did get a little long!! All aboard the pining/fluff train!

And if anyone else wants to send me a prompt, here's the list!

***

It had seemed like a fun little joke when they were 12. Billy had been over at Steve’s house after school, and they’d been sitting on the couch, eating pizza bagels, and avoiding their homework. There was a rerun of a Friends episode on, one where Chandler and Monica made a pact to get married to each other if they were still unmarried at 40.

Billy, always the more practical of the two, had turned to Steve. “We should do that. It only makes sense to have a backup plan in case neither of us meet someone by then.” He pulled out a piece of lined paper from his binder and wrote up the pact.

I Billy Hargrove, and I Steve Harrington, hereby agree to marry each other if we don’t meet anyone else by the time that we’re 40.

They both signed the paper, and Billy placed the piece of paper under a loose floorboard in Steve’s room for safekeeping. The thought of marrying Steve sent a little thrill through Billy. He’d love to be married to his best friend. It would be like a nonstop party. Forget that two men getting married was illegal. Maybe things would change by then.

Life went on after that, and the piece of paper was never mentioned again. Billy would think about it from time to time, like when he realized that he liked Steve as more than a friend, or when gay marriage became legal in the United States.

Billy watched as Steve went through girlfriend after girlfriend. He’d always declare that each new girl was ‘the one’, and Billy would silently pout as he would congratulate Steve each time. Billy himself had his fair share of dates, but he would tell them that he didn’t want to settle down, and they would settle for casual until they’d realize they wanted more and move on to a guy who would give it to them. Through all this, he held out hope that someday Steve would realize that Billy was ‘the one’.

Shortly after Steve got engaged to a lovely woman he’d met at work and dated for the past two years, Billy worked up the courage to come out to him. It felt like something he had to do to move on and find someone for himself.

He had a few relationships over the years, but they never worked out long term, because his boyfriends could always tell that he wasn’t fully invested in their relationship. One even called out his attraction to Steve, and Billy was horrified at being found out, making the other man swear up and down that he wouldn’t tell Steve. He didn’t, and he and Billy broke up a couple weeks later.

No matter what life brought them, he and Steve continued to be the best of friends. Billy was the best man at his wedding and was the first person in the waiting room when Steve’s wife gave birth to their son. He consoled Steve through his divorce, ignoring Steve’s ex’s stinging barbs about Billy and Steve being a little too close.

Post-divorce, they hung out more than ever. Steve rented an apartment in Billy’s building, and they would take Billy’s puppy and Steve’s son to the park on the weekends, and they’d sit up watching tv in each other’s apartments long after they should have been asleep for the night. Steve would cuddle up against him or put his arm around Billy’s shoulder as they watched, and Billy hoped against hope that it meant something, even if it wasn’t discussed.

Soon though, Steve’s 40th birthday was approaching, and Billy decided to take a leap. One night, he called up Steve’s mother, asking if he could come over and look for something that he believed was still in the house. She told him that all of Steve’s childhood belongings had been given to him or donated, and that there was nothing left. He insisted that it would still be there, and she offered to check for whatever it was before he drove three hours to get it. He declined her offer, telling her he would be there the next afternoon. He left work early the next day, at noon, driving to Hawkins, and barely greeting Steve’s parents before running up to his old bedroom.

Steve’s mother followed Billy up the stairs. “What on earth are you looking for, Billy?”

Billy turned to her, a smile on his face. “I’m hoping to find some old forgotten words.” Sure enough, there under a loose floorboard that had been hidden by Steve’s mother’s yoga mat, was their pact.

At Steve’s mother’s insistence, he stayed for a glass of lemonade, then hightailed it back to Hawkins. He and Steve had plans to see a movie that night, and he didn’t want to miss it. He drove all the way back home with a grin on his face and butterflies in his stomach, hoping that Steve would honour the pact.

The next week, he took Steve out to dinner to celebrate his birthday. They would be doing an actual party with their other friends and Steve’s son the next night, but he needed to do this on his own. Once he and Steve were seated, he handed Steve the gift bag. Ever a child, Steve ripped at the tissue paper that Billy had placed on top of the frame.

Steve laughed as he pulled out the frame and realized what he was reading, the laughter abruptly stopping as Steve realized Billy wasn’t kidding. He got down on one knee, opening the ring box he’d had in his pocket. “Steve Harrington, will you make me the happiest man alive and marry me? Not just because of the pact. Because I love you. I’ve always loved you.”

Steve wiped tears from his eyes as he nodded. “Yes, of course, yes, Billy. Of course, I’ll marry you. I love you too.” They sealed it with a kiss as Billy slipped the ring onto his fiancé’s finger.

#harringrove #billy hargrove #steve harrington #billy x steve #my fic #harringrove fic #chrisbitchtree writes #cockasinthebird #ask response #prompt fill #fluff #pining

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buddieisgoingcanon2024 · 6 months

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I’ll happily jump on the hate train because she’s got absolutely rocks for brains. Nothing like posting gun hype days after a mass shooting. Also I’m like did she literally just create a TikTok and despite the fact that her ass got dumped..she literally is calling herself ChrystiAneGuzman…like guuuurl give it a rest because #1 you were never legally married and #2 last time I checked huzzzzband dumped your ass and is raking in the notifications on GAY dating apps but you’re still going to use his name to get attention?!!! Like Chrysti is such a dipshit….and don’t even get me started on that other video posted and the feminine grace garbage…gurl is trolling hard for her next huzzzzband already…..does she think that if she tries hard enough on social media to make like the marriage was actually legal then a divorce instead of a breakup can happen and she can at least get rich from asset division. Like at this point what is she even doing the jig is up…everybody knows her ass got dumped, she was never legally married, they were a toxic as anything relationship….

⬆️👏

#ryan guzman #chrysti ane #toxic

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briamichellewrites · 1 year

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Mike looked into body dysmorphia, a disorder where a person’s view of their body is distorted. A person could work out excessively, cover themselves in clothing, get cosmetic surgeries, wear makeup, or diet to remove perceived or imagined flaws in their appearance. He wasn’t a mental health expert, but he would advocate for her to get an evaluation. Bruce mentioned he would also do research. He thanked him for the update. Though he hoped it meant Brie would receive treatment, he wasn’t holding his breath.

He and Patti consulted Tom Hanks and his wife, Rita. Their son, Chester was also going through a serious drug addiction. It started when he was sixteen. He had gone to multiple rehabs but was yet to remain sober. They were heartbroken to learn that Brie was going through the same thing. It seemingly started after she gave birth to her twins. They also told them about her divorce.

It was civil. She was going to sign away her rights to Mike and his boyfriend. That was the last update they had about that. She had gone to Paris to look for a vacation home. When she came home, that was when things started. She overdosed on cocaine and was in the hospital for twenty-four hours. Because of the divorce, she was living at a hotel but they kicked her out after her overdose and she had been homeless since. Mike and his boyfriend were afraid she was going to try to take her life.

“She was diagnosed with postpartum bipolar disorder, which could be causing this. We have no idea what the hell is going on.”

“Why are they getting divorced”, Tom asked for clarification.

“Because she is going to sign custody over to Mike because of mental health issues. To do that, they have to legally divorce. He and his boyfriend are going to share custody with the biological father.”

“That kind of makes sense. Boyfriend?”

“Yeah, he came out as gay. They were involved in an open marriage, which she fully supported because she wanted him to be happy.”

They met his boyfriend. He was the kind of guy who was perfect for him. Very respectful and he treated Brie like a younger sister. They had nothing but wonderful things to say about him.

brielikethecheese: Another twenty-four hours in the hospital because the police found me passed out in a public bathroom. The only reason why I’m on this app is that I feel like I’m screaming into the void. All that comes back are the thoughts in my head. I’m not worth anything. Not even love. I’m ugly and nobody understands. I’m just going through a manic episode and will be better in a few days. Fuck that. Why get mental health treatment if nobody fucking cares? How fucked up do I have to be considered worth listening to or taken seriously? I’m so fucking tired.

Mike tried. He and Brie felt like she wasn’t being listened to by the hospital’s mental health staff. It was beyond frustrating. He was so scared that one day he would find out she was dead. The twins were back home with him and Phoenix after staying with his parents. They had gotten over their colds and were feeling better. When his mother dropped them off, they gave them big smiles.

Dada! He and Phoenix were thrilled to have them home with them. It was the distraction they needed. The twins were learning how to sit up by themselves, though they were still a little wobbly. Before they knew it, they would be crawling all over the house and putting whatever they could grab into their mouths. That meant being very careful about watching them. No, Lily. Don’t put that in your mouth, Lila. Their little girls were growing and it was exciting to watch their milestones.

Brie was desperate for something to eat, so after the appointment, Mike brought her into the studio. They had a break room with some free food. He let her pick what she wanted. She got a couple of oranges, a banana, and a Gatorade from the vending machine. He handed her a bag of chips. Thanks. She was starving and had limited places that would allow her into their establishments, so any food was appreciated.

The band was waiting patiently for him. They had started practicing but they needed his vocals. When they came in, she pulled the garbage over to a chair before sitting down. They were in shock at her appearance. She had lost weight, her hair was a mess and she looked like she hadn’t showered in days. They watched as she peeled the orange and started eating it without acknowledging their presence. Mike read their minds and nodded. Phoenix patted his shoulder before he took over with Brad.

She was sober but was wanting to go out and find something to get her high. Her body had gone through withdrawal from heroin while in the hospital. Chester watched her and it broke his heart. He knew what she was going through and he wished he could take it away from her. But, he couldn’t.

The media found out about her latest hospitalization and shared it on the news. She wanted to go to Paris to escape the media attention. But she would need a visa to stay for over ninety days. Three months wasn’t enough time. After eating and cleaning up, she went out with her bottle of Gatorade. Where was she going? She didn’t know. Her body had to move around because she was anxious and restless. She was craving heroin but didn’t know where to get it.

During the next break, Rob, Chester, and Phoenix went to go look for her. They found her gone. Brie? They looked all over, even in the women’s bathroom. No. She had left. Chester mentioned going back to make sure she hadn’t gone through their stuff and taken anything. That was a good idea.

“Did you find her”, Brad asked.

“No. We should all check our stuff to make sure she didn’t take anything”, Phoenix said.

They checked their wallets but it didn’t look suspicious. No, she hadn’t taken anything. She seemed dazed like she wasn’t really there. They all noticed how she didn’t even acknowledge them when she came in. Chester went through his stuff because he couldn’t find his antidepressant medication. That was what she had taken. It wasn’t about money, but getting high.

When they were done rehearsing for the day, they went out to their vehicles. They noticed a figure wrapped in blankets lying on top of a flattened cardboard box next to the dumpster. When they got closer, it was obvious it was her. To make sure she was still alive, Rob bent down and shook her. She groaned before sitting up. Why was everyone waking her up? He apologized and said they just wanted to make sure she was still alive.

Chester asked for his medication back. She didn’t have any medication. They pulled the blankets off of her until they found the bottle of medication next to her. She was lucky he wasn’t going to call the police on her for stealing. Phoenix and Brad grabbed her arms and forced her up. They then followed them back into the studio. She protested the entire way.

Inside, Rob put his hands on her shoulders and told her he didn’t care if she hated him or not. He was bringing her to rehab. She didn’t need rehab. Yes, she did. She was stealing from them. Fuck you! She fucking hated him because he was just trying to get rid of her. Then, they could forget about her. She struggled until she got out of his grasp. After stumbling, she tripped on her feet and fell. Thankfully, she didn’t hurt herself.

They helped her up. Leave me alone and let me sleep! She could sleep in rehab. I’m not going to fucking rehab! Mike realized that the thing she was afraid of most was being abandoned by them. He went over and hugged her tightly. We are not leaving you. They just wanted her to get better because they loved her. It wasn’t about forgetting about her. She started crying.

“It doesn’t fucking matter. They kill people in rehab. People fucking die. Then, they burn their bodies to get rid of the evidence. The people turn up missing and everyone thinks they ran away but they really are just buried somewhere. They have huge furnaces, like huge pizza ovens. They give them with medication and then they overdose. That’s how they get money. Insurance pays them to kill addicts to keep them off the streets.”

That made absolutely zero sense. She wasn’t thinking rationally. The saddest part was she believed it was all true. It wasn’t true and they had no idea where she came up with that idea. They could waste their breath by convincing her of the truth but it wasn’t worth it. What could they do? They were helpless. That meant they had to let her go.

@zoeykaytesmom @feelingsofaithless @alina-dixon @fiickle-nia @boricuacherry-blog

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dnarez · 3 years

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Giving Siblings To A Son

Summary:

Shouto fights with his wife and is told to go to a Inn by his friends, the Inn is know to make wishes come true.

...--...

Shouto was happy with his life, he truly was.

He was the number 3 pro hero of Japan, had a beautiful wife, that is also a pro hero, no one less the Momo Yaoyorozu, who was his crush since 2nd year and girlfriend on his last.

A sweet son who had the name Shouya, that just completed 3 years, his gray hair, a mix of his white side with her black one was truly the cutest shit he's ever seen.

But now after his mother's birthday he was reminded of how good it was to have siblings, they were friends for your whole life, he wanted that his son would also have this, maybe someone to talk to when his son couldn't tell him or his wife, the image of both being friends brought warmth to his heart.

But when he thought about it, he realized his sexual life with his wife was dead, after having their son she simply stopped searching for him, and when he tried to she always had an excuse, Shouto had to "take care" of himself alone for a little more than 3 years, 4 if you count the pregnancy, maybe if he tells her that he wants another one it will help this problem that he discovered recently.

...

"You want another child?'' she looked at him through the mirror.

"Yes" he smiled a little shy''On my mother's birthday that was on the weekend I noticed how me and my siblings are close right now, even if we had a hard time showing affection before, now I know that they truly love me, I want Shouya to feel that, I'm not saying that I don't love him!" he said the ending quickly getting more and more embarrassed, to the point that his ears and cheeks were pink.

Momo was silent for a few seconds, then she went back to putting makeup on "Shouto... how many do you want?" she looked at him apprehensive.

His blush covered all of his face "I want 3 more" he looked down to his hands.

"I can't believe..." she turned around, and he saw his beautiful wife angry "ARE YOU ALSO TRYING TO MAKE WEAPONS WITH OUR SONS!? I THOUGHT YOU WANTED TO BE DIFFERENT FROM YOUR FATHER!"

Shouto quickly got inside the bathroom and closed the door behind him when she started to scream "I don't know what you are talking about, I just want my son to have friends for the rest of his life, friends that will always have his back" he frowned, how could she compare him to the shadow of the man his father once was, not only insulting him but the good man his father is today.

Momo finish her makeup and goes to him, poking him with her pointer finger "Is that your excuse!? I don't want to end up crazy like your mother!"

"My mother isn't crazy! And my father is a good man now, what he did will never, and I mean NEVER be forgotten, but he did his best to be the better man he is today, why are you attacking me like that!? I love our son more than anything, even more than I love you!"

"Are you doing this because we aren't having sex anymore? Because if that's it I advise you to stop, I don't want any more children, and we won't be having sex anymore" Momo opens the door and put her red dress on "Now finish getting ready, our classmates are waiting"

As she walked away, leaving a heartbroken Shouto, she didn't even look back at him.

...

"I punched him straight in the face!" Bakugou said proudly.

"What else wound you do?" Kaminari pointed out.

"Probably make the villain fly after being barbecued" Sero joked, making the whole table laugh.

Shouto smile at that, but he wasn't paying much attention to the guys, even if their table had only guys, and by the looks he was receiving from an ash blond and a green haired dude, he guessed that some of his friends noticed it too.

...

"Okay, what the fuck happened? Why do you look like some dog that was kicked from the moving van?" Bakugou asked his friends as the three of them were alone on the parking lot.

"I had a fight with Momo before coming to this party... she said some pretty... aggressive things..." Shouto looked down to his glass of wine.

"Like what?" Izuku got closer with his on glass of wine in hand.

"... Like my mom is crazy, and compared me to how my father was before..."

"Why did she say that? What were you two talking about?" Bakugo nudge Shouto with his elbow.

Shouto gave him a small smile, after so many years Bakugou still had a hard time with showing emotions, but he did little things to show that he was trying to comfort his friend. "I told her that I would like to give brothers and/or sisters for Shouya... she accused me of wanting more children to be weapons for me... And that it was only an excuse to have sex"

Both Bakugou and Izuku looked at him shell shocked.

"THAT BITCH!" Bakugou received an angry glare from Shouto at that "DON'T YOU DARE LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT!!! IZUKU HELP ME!"

"This is kind of an intimate question but... how long has it been since the last time you two... you know..." Izuku blushes

"Fucked"

"Kacchan no!"

"Since she got pregnant with Shouya"

"WHAT!?" both screamed at the same time.

"Isn't it normal?" Shouto tilted his head

"NO! IT FUCKING ISN'T!!!" Bakugou shouted.

"Shouto, do you do any type of skin ship with her? I know that you do like physical contact more than any other type of demonstration of love" Izuku put his hand on his friend's shoulder.

"No, she doesn't let me hug her, and I can only kiss her cheek before going to bed, and only in front of our son"

"You don't even fucking cuddle when you sleep? Even I do that with Eijiro" Katsuki crossed his arms, looking more pissed than normal.

"She sleeps in a separated room since getting pregnant, I didn't want to stress her when pregnant, so I didn't ask for her to explain, and after our son was born I step up to taking care of him more than her, since she always looked so tired..."

"Oh my god... you are literally the perfect husband and she simply- okay fuck her, you need to divorce her"

"Kacchan! Don't say that! This is his relationship, you know how Shouto his influenceable, don't put those ideas on his head!" Izuku slapped Katsuki's shoulder.

Bakugou huffs but nods in understanding "Maybe you should do something for her to notice what she's loosing"

Izuku put his hand on his chin and nods "That is a better option, you cook her meals every day, also does your son's bento, clean the house when you can, always lend her your ear for her, when she's tired you play with your son and don't let him close to her to let her relax..."

"I know a good place, since you like traditional Japanese style, It's a place with a lot of hot springs, I think you will like it, no... I'm sure of it, Me and Eijiro went there when we got time last winter" Katsuki took his cellphone from his back pocket and after a moment Shouto felt his vibrating.

"Hot Spring of Wishes" he read it out loud.

"Oh! That place is very well know for its secrecy, they can grant wishes by a price, but no one tells who grant their wishes, you said you went there, why is it Kacchan?" Izuku looked from Shouto to Katsuki.

"It was last year winter, when the biological family of my daughter wanted her back, they had a firm case, and the judge was known to not support gay marriage, much less adoption, so we both went there and made our wish" Katsuki looked up to the moon and sighed "We wouldn't have won if it weren't for that place, I'm sure of it, I can guarantee that your wish will be granted... well if you can pay the price"

"What was the price?" Izuku asked.

"I can't say, one of the gueixa that works there has a quirk called Seal, they will know when you broke the promise to not say specific things about that place, they say that if you break the promise the person that realize your wish will come to you and get what you wished for back to them" Katsuki frowned and looked at them nervous "If I tell you something like, who granted my wish, what the price that I paid was or one more thing that I can't even tell you, that person will come to my house and take my daughter with them"

"But you are the number 2 hero, how could them do that, it isn't even legal, and you should be able to spot it... right?" Shouto asked looking apprehensive.

Katsuki shook his head "No, that person is strong enough to take over the world, they don't do it because they don't want to"

Izuku and Shouto looked at him alarmed "So what does it stop some villain to go there and wish for the worst??" Izuku asked while flailing his arms around, almos spilling his drink.

"They have to accept your wish, after you go there, you are sent to your room, and while you take a bath at the hot spring, a woman will come to you and ask what do you wish for, after you tell her, she will go back inside and talk to the wish granter, they decide if your wish is good enough for them, they like the way things are, and they also have rules for wishes, you should go there and ask for your wife to appreciate you more, maybe ask for her to agree to have another child with you"

Shouto nod and look back at his phone, the pictures of that place were beautiful, and taking a break did sound good. "I have accumulated sick days, I will spend a week there."

Bakugou nods "Just make sure to leave enough bentos to your son for the whole week, your wife won't remember to do his lunch every day"

"But I do his every morning to be fresh and tasty... I don't want to send him with just a sandwich, a pack of grapes and a juice box, I like to cook him a proper meal every day... this is a problem..." Shouto frowned at his cellphone home picture, of him and his son smiling at the camera.

"I can do it for him, just tell me if he doesn't like something" Katsuki evade Shouto's thankful look.

"Thank you, you are a good friend" Bakugou nods at him, blushing.

...

The car trip was good, but exhausting, Momo was glad... too glad that he decide to take a one-week-long break.

"Welcome, I hope you have a very pleasent stay, and that all your wishes come true" a woman in a white kimono and with an empty white mask appears in front of him, her hair was the typical black japanese hair.

Shouto had reserved the whole inn for himself, being a top pro hero can be tiring, so a place like this where he could do as he wished with no worries was relaxing. "Thank you, please lead me to my room"

The woman took him to his room "Diner will be ready at 21h, the hot spring is always open, since it's only you this whole week, you can feel free and walk around freely, the hot spring has an area where the water is blood red, please don't go there, only if you are invited you can go there" The lady say as he goes into the room with his bag in hand.

"Thank you very much" he bows and she bows back.

...

The hot spring was perfect, as he let his muscles relax inside the hot water he started to hear someone walking to him.

Shouto looked atound and saw a woman with a black kimono, a black veil, but he could see the e/c of her eyes, her hair was down, the humid air didn't seem to change anything on her.

"What do your heart wish for?" She said by his ear, giving him goosebumps all over.

"I would like for my wife to agree to have another child" he looked at her eyes, but the veil was obstructing his view of the rest of her face.

"Just one more?" The woman tilted her head to the side.

He shook his head "No, I want three more, I already have one"

"Hmmmm... a lot of people come here for infertility, other people come here to try and find love, and you have money, power, a powerful quirk, a lovely wife and a healthy child, tell me, why should I accept your request?" She put her hand on his shoulder.

"Since I have everything else I can give you anything, it doesn't matter the price" Shouto's were filled with determination.

She chuckles and shakes her head "I don't need money, this inn per night is pretty expensive, I don't want power that is unnecessary, I don't need love my servants will always follow and obey me with their own free will" she gets up.

"Wait!" He also gets up not carrying for his nudity "please! I really want to give siblings for my son!" She stop and look down to his dick.

"Big..." she looks back at his face "I will accept ypur request, the price will be for you" she points at him "to impregnate me" she puts her hand on her chest.

"WHAT!? I will not cheat on my wife!" He took a few steps back.

She bows to him "Then have a nice stay mister Todoroki, your wish was denied for not being able to pay the price, if you change your mind go to the other hot spring, the one with red water" she goes inside the inn again leaving him alone.

...

You knew he would come to you, they alway come to you.

After the dinner you went to your spot on the bloody hot spring.

The thick water was scary for other, but you knew it was just the trees that had roots inside this pond, which made the water red and thick with it's sap.

As you relax in the water you hear steps coming to you making you smile "I didn't think you would come"

Shouto stop a few feets before the water "I don't have other choice... do I?"

You look back at him, and seeing your face makes him shy, you were beautiful, your lips curving into a sly smile, your eyelashes, your cheek bones, everything in you was attractive to him.

As his eyes went down accompanying a drop of water that went from your cheek, down to your neck, then your collar bone, going around your right breast until your nipple where it stay hanging, but his eyes went further down, stopping at your hips, the thick red water didn't allow him to explore more with his eyes.

You did the same, exploring him with your eyes, he had afew scars on his body, fine legs and body, but a certain feminine touch on his face, just like a doll, his dick started coming to life from seeing your body, and you could feel your core pulsating with need. "Let's go to my room, it will be better than you coming into my water" you got up and stepped out the hot spring reveling the rest of your body to him.

You see him gulp and his dick pulsate once, all to your eyes, you lick your lips and go to him "say, do your wife have big breasts? Would you prefer if mine were bigher like hers?" You say as you press then on his chest.

Shouto shook his head "too big, can't grab it all... it's annoying" he doesn't take his eyes off of gour body.

"Hmmm... so you prefer the normal sized cup, that's good, would you like to take a hold of them? Since you said that hers was annoying, I hope that I can satisfy you"

He nod and you take a step back, letting him grab your chest.

Shouto looked to be hypnotized by your body, you were smaller than Momo, also had smaller chest size, which is probably the normal size, your eyes looked at him with desire and want, something that he never saw in Momo's eyes.

You sigh aroused by the way he squeezes and pull at your breasts.

He watches tour facial expressions and massages your chest the way it gets more reactions from you, having you whimpering and giving small moans "Shouto... more"

Hearing you say his name and ask him so lovely, has him succumb to his desure as his head goes lower and he start to suck on your nipple.

"Aaaah!" You shout surprised "I told you we were going to my room!" You blush from his sudden advance.

'So many pretty faces, her sounds are extremely addictive... more... I want to see and hear more' Shouto close his eyes as he lightly bites on your right nipple and pinches the left one.

"Can't you- ah... wait? Just a little?" You pit one hand on his shoulder and pets his hair with the other "my workers will see us if we do it here"

At that Shouto releases your nipple with a wet pop, and lick his lips "Where?"

You sigh and nods to the inn "the red door"

He picks you up suddenly making you yelp surprised, but he just start to walk in to the inn... naked.

You whistle in a loud and long way, and hear a lot of doors closing to the way he was going.

"Was that a order?" He looks at you for a moment and then looks back at front.

You nod "It is, this way I ordered them to go to their roomsand not come out until further notice"

"And why did you do that?" You hug his neck to stabilize yourself, which makes your chest brush against his.

"We are both naked and walking to my room, I have enough jokes going around on my inn, I don't need anymore"

He nods and give you a small smile "let's finish this"

Shouto takes you both to the red door, which is where he puts you down, you open the door and let him in.

Your room was the only one with European style, the rest of the inn was in traditional Japanese style.

You walk to your bed and open your arms to him "come here, let's have some fun~♡"

Being called to have sex in a cute way, your open arms ready to embrace him, this is everything he wants to do with Momo, the reactions you give, the moans, he wanted to be his wife that embrace him fully, but instead he has to search for affection in another women's arms "Can you-... "

You watch him going back to being shy and tilt your head to the side, but don't lower your arms "do you want to request something?"

"Would you please call me Sho? And... what do I call you?" He looks away from you and tries to cover his dick with his hands, which he fails.

"You can call me anything you like, my name doesn't matter, okay?... Sho"

He blushes and nod as he stop covering himself and walks to you.

You put your hands on his chest and the back of his neck "Please kiss me Sho"

He grows and kiss you, his hands explore your body slowly, going to your hips then to your butt where he gives a squeeze, then back at your breasts where he goes back to massage it.

You lick his bottom lip and he open his mouth to you giving you access to his tongue.

The feeling of his slight cold hand going around your warm body making you go crazy with him.

Your tongue tasted sweet on his mouth, Shouto lays you down on the bed slowly, not stopping his hands, but breaking the kiss to breath.

The scenario in front of him has his dick pulsating and dropping precum on your thigh 'she wants me like I want her, so pretty, what do I call her? I want to mame this person so that she can temporarily be mine, just for this week...'

You put your hand on his cheek "what will be my name Sho?" You ask sweetly, as your hand goes and grab his dick "Sweetie? Maybe Honey? Dear? Or your wife's name? You can call me anything that you want"

"T-then..." his hips jerk on your hand as you slowly start to masturbate him "Love..." you look at him surprised and smile "Yes... you are my love"

He close his eyes and kiss you again, going straight for a small tongue fight, that he won easily.

Your hands, both go down, one of them jerking him off, and the other fondling with his balls.

Shouto moans into the kiss 'Momo never did something like this every time we had sex it was about her, she didn't let me fondle with her breasts, or explore her body with care, she would just use lubricant om herself, I would fuck her, and after I came she would take care of herself, not letting me touch her anymore'

You break the kiss and push his shoulder until he was laying down on the bed, you got yourself between his legs and licked his balls, yoi see the goose bumps on his legs, and just now notice that his pubic hair is also half white and half red.

He watches you with a lot of interest 'Momo only went down on me when I begged her to, and would always look disgusted, I would feel very unwanted and gross after, but... she is-!' Shouto's thoughts were cut by your mouth wrapping around the head of his dick.

He groans as you take more of him on your mouth, you facial expression shows pleasure, like you are sucking a delicious lollipop, and it makes him feel wanted, like you want to taste him and give him pleasure.

You bob your head up and down, taking more of him each time, being careful with your teeth and brushing your tongue on his more predominant veins, which hives you more breathy moans and groans.

He fit so well on your mouth, and his moans plus his dick om your mouth has you aroused to the point of feeling your slick on you lower lips.

Shouto trows his head back when your nose brush against his pubic hair after taking all of him in. "LOVE! My love! I'm gonna cum!" You quickly take your mouth off him which he whines at the cold air and the way his sick slap against his skin, all wet with your saliva, but the way you looked at him, like you were famish, made his dick throb in want.

You lick you lips and raise to your knees, you incline yourself a little backwards and open more your legs "Can you help me get ready? You will be the biggest I ever had" you open your lower lips and gives him a little show, your slick all ovee your thighs, showing him the effect of sucking him.

Shouto eagerly nods and give you his hand "sit on my face, please"

You do as told and as you sit on his face he starts immediately.

Circling your clit with the tip of his stiff tongue, then he relaxes it and goes in circles again around it, going from slow to fast, to slow again, loving the way your body flexes and relax under his treatment.

"Sho! Your so good at this!" Hearing you compliment him makes Shouto wants more of it, of everything you can give.

Your taste is intoxicating, so different from his wife, you taste sweet with the normal bitterness of the human fluid, since he wanted more of it he put his tongue inside you and moved it around collecting moew fluids as you moan throwing your head back and calling his name in such a lovely way.

You wiggle your hips trying to feel more of him, Shouto had an idea, he cupped both your clit and your entrance with his mouth and sucked on it, making you moan loudly and your body shivers from the sensation.

"W-wait! If you do it like that I will come!" You say trying to raise yourself from him, but he hook his arms around your thighs and pull you closer, now he was sucking only on your clit and he started circling it with his relaxed tongue.

It was too much, thhe sucking, the licking, so much so that he made you cum on his tongue, and as you did it, he lapped on your juices drinking it all, until you were too sensitive and was constantly trying to get out of his grip.

Shouto releases you and you fall back on the bed "Your wife is really lucky, you do an excellent job with your tongue" he hovers on top of you and smiles at you.

"Yes, you're really lucky my love, but I'm more, since I have you all to myself" the way he caresses your face makes you realize that he wants to act like you are his wife, not his actually wife that gave birth to his son, hut it's as if he wants to pretend just a bit, that he isn't neglected by the person he loves, so you let him.

You smile back and nuzzle his hand "We are both luck my husband, my Shouto" you hug his neck bringing him in, and you feel tears falling on your face as he passionately kiss you.

He holds you close and dearly as if you are very delicate and precious "my love, I know this is sudden but... let's have a child, one of our own, they will have your beautiful hair, my eyes, maybe a mixture of the two of us, how about it?"

You nod playing along "Then today is a good day, let's have a child that has your hair and my eyes, let's build our family Sho!" He sobs at that and nods opening your legs and trusting his hips against yours, making the head of his dick press against your entrance.

You hug his waist with your legs and pull him, the head pops in and you both shiver from it "More... Sho" you bring his face to yours and kiss his scar "please Sho, I want more of you" he looks back at you like you are a goddess and kiss you passionately while lightly trusting into you, until he got totally inside of you.

"There... but... you are so tight! I won't be able to hold back for long, my love... I'm sorry"

You shook your head "it's fine, this way we can build our family sooner, please Sho, I need more" you wiggle your hips up, and sifhs at the sensation of being full.

He nods and start to move, the feeling of your walls squeezing him, and how hot and wet you were, so perfect, so sweet, just for him, so he takes what he wants, and trust into you making you moan at him.

Again... and again, he went deeper and faster with each trust, his arms got tired from holding himself up, so he let his face fall between your breasts without stopping his hips.

You carve your nails into his back and moans sweetly in his ears, nothing fake and loud, just quiet but showing that you loved the feeling he was giving you.

You feel him biting down on your neck and that make you yelp, but it turns into a moan when he brush against your G-point making your whole body shudder.

"Here?" He trust against it again and draw blood from his back with your nails "ah, you do like it here, go on love, feel all my heart and soul being poured into you" he nibbles on another place and keep trusting there.

As your pleasure rise you aslo bite and mark him all over his body "Sho! That way you will really get me pregnant!"

"But... that's the point... right?" He goes deeper with a strong trust and hits your womb, it hurts but it's the kind of pain that you like it.

The pleasure keeps building up, to the point that a little more will make you cum, and you do when you feel his mouth around your nipple.

Your back arches but he doesn't release you, but instead keep trusting, hearing you moan and quenching around him is driving him crazy.

Shouto frantically trusts into your sensitive pussy without a break, feeling so much off you, your smell, your taste, your sounds, how you wrap around him tighly like you don't want him to go, so perfect, his wife... is really perfect.

He cums inside of you, but keeps hiving shallow trusts into you.

You sigh relaxed and he gently lay you down on the bed, but doesn't pull out, instead you feel his shoulders trembling and feel your chest getting wet, you look at him and raise his face to yours, you see him crying and sobbing. "Hey! What's up? What happened??" You pet his face lovingly and caresses his cheek under his scar.

"Momo... I'm sorry! I'm an awful husband! What the fuck am I doing??? I-I just- please don't let go off me... please" he buries his face on your chest once more and you pet his head.

"Don't worry, it will be our secret" you kiss the top of his head and keep petting him.

The other workers giggle, both pregnant with the last winter wishes, glad to have another powerful child on their way.

#shoto todoroki x reader #todoroki shoto x reader #shoto x reader #todoroki shouto #mha shouto #shouto x you #smut #oneshot #ao3 fanfic

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prioriincantatem · 3 years

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ALASTOR HEADCANONS. SEXUALITY

please do not reblog this post || trigger warnings : child abuse & homophobia & death

alastor’s journey when it comes to acknowledging and accepting his own sexuality is complicated to say the least. i’m gonna kinda split this into a couple categories bUT yea here it is

FAMILY CONDITIONS

love was very much conditional in the moody household, and as the heir and only boy in his family, alastor knew from an incredibly young age that he was expected to get married to whoever his parents picked out for him and have kids of his own. this idea was absolutely terrifying to him.

his parents did everything they could to try and crush any sort of rebellious spirit out of alastor. as far as the public was concerned, alastor was the picture perfect example of a proper pureblood heir. behind closed doors, things were a lot more sinister.

his parents knew he was gay, or at least suspected.

when alastor’s two children were born, he made the decision to leave his family to the extent that they had no contact with sorcha or rhiseart. he didn’t want them to have to endure the same treatment he did growing up.

he’s not disowned, and ends up inheriting everything after his parents die. as long as he maintained the image of the family his parents wanted, he was permitted to remain in the family. he held up his end off the bargain, and managed to keep his sister from inheriting everything. in the end, he gave her a portion of his inheritance, and they went their separate ways. they did not speak again after that.

RELATIONSHIPS

messed around a lot in hogwarts. like, a lot. but never dated anyone publicly, as most of his relationships were with guys, and this was the 1950s. acceptance wasn’t something he was going to find easily.

knew he was gay from a pretty young age, or at least that he didn’t want to be with girls in the same way he wanted to be with guys. he didn’t really put a label on it until much later in his life when he was in his 30s.

always knew he was going to end up in an arranged marriage, like most wealthy pureblood kids at that time. he managed to convince himself that he was fine with this, but when it was no longer an abstract concept and he met greylyn, it sent him into a panic spiral.

marries greylyn tavish right out of hogwarts and soon has two kids with her.

especially after he relocates to london for work, he resumes having relationships with other men. this is not common knowledge, nor is his sexuality. as far as the general public is concerned, he’s content in his marriage and that’s that.

LAVENDER MARRIAGE TO GREYLYN TAVISH

right off the bat, neither of them are sexually interested in or attracted to each other.

they genuinely try to make things work, but they were doomed from the start.

facing mostly pressure from alastor’s family, they quickly have two kids after getting married to continue the family line and legacy.

with both of them growing increasingly unhappy in the relationship, alastor finally snaps and confesses to greylyn that he’s not interested in pursuing a romantic or sexual relationship with women at all. greylyn also admits that she’s uninterested in pursuing a sexual relationship, and they agree together that their marriage will shift to purely platonic in nature.

their relationship becomes a lot stronger and healthier after that as they move forward as friends.

publicly and legally, they are still a married couple. as remarrying wasn’t something either of them were willing to pursue-- alastor for obvious reasons and greylyn because she didn’t want the social obligation to have more children with a potential second husband-- and because they’re raising two kids together, they decide there’s no real point in getting divorced.

they are both aware of each other’s relationships if they have any as much as any two friends are aware of the other’s relationships. significant others are not introduced to sorcha and rhiseart, and they’re not made aware of their parents’ relationships outside of their marriage.

very few people know about any of this, even close friends. it’s not common or readily shared knowledge ( i.e. if we haven’t had a conversation about your muse knowing, they don’t know ). as far as everyone’s concerned, the tavish-moodys are a chill, normal family that just prefer to keep to themselves.

#( if the night is burning i will cover my eyes || musings; alastor moody )#alastor || headcanons #homophobia tw #child abuse tw #abuse tw #death tw

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nenchuu · 3 years

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how fucking dare you think choromatsu is gay he's the straightest ugliest bitch ever i hate him so much how could you ruin homosexuality like this this is worse than blmats

THIS IS A JOKE BUT IT GAVE ME AN EXCUSE TO DO HOURS OF WRITING LMAO

For anyone who is looking at this and thinks I’m crazy: obviously I know the writers didn’t make Choromatsu gay. I’m not delusional, this is just my own interpretation of his character. I am also a gay man, so I like to see similar traits and experiences in characters I like. Is that okay with you? Is it acceptable? Good, okay.

OKAY SO LET’S WHIP OUT THE SOURCES

Let’s start with the latest episode (S03E05) with the latter half titled “The Way Home.” I already made a little edit about this here, but I’ll explain my reasoning in more detail.

Same-sex marriage is still not permitted in Japan. While some jurisdictions allow for a type of civil union, they do not hold the same rights and advantages that opposite-sex marriages have. These union certificates are largely symbolic and hold absolutely no legal power. Which means you are unlikely to apply for housing with your partner or visit them in the hospital, since you wont be considered family. In fact, I just read an article about the fear of dying of COVID-19 when you’re in a same-sex relationship and how you might never see your partner or family ever again, either because of legal reasons or a conflict of traditional values.

But let’s backtrack a little for this one, shall we? (Warning, this is going to be a really, really long post. Lot’s of words and screenshots because I have no self control.)

In the very first season (S01E04) with the second skit “Let’s Become Independent,” Matsuyo and Matsuzo are filing for divorce after a huge fight. The brothers are devastated, not because their parents don’t love each other, but because they can’t handle taking care of themselves. So Matsuyo specifically gives the boys an interview to see who will get to live with her, which they all prefer, since she cooks and cleans after them. We have our usual hijinks while each son makes their case. Choromatsu is last, as by the time he spoke, Matsuyo already picked three out of the six. So his strategy is simple; appeal to her motherly instincts.

What I find very interesting about this exchange is that it directly contrasts with how Choromatsu feels about his chances of marriage and children in the latest episode (as of November 9th, 2020). Here, he is very confident in being the most “responsible” of the six, the one most likely to “graduate” from NEETdom and enter “civilized society.” In “The Way Home,” there is a lot more uncertainty in his voice. He looks down, wondering out loud if he will get married. When Jyushimatsu asks him, he seems almost startled by the question. The “Huh?” at the beginning, with him finally picking up his head to look back at his younger brother, seems to imply that his comments were more towards himself than as a reply to Jyushimatsu. He ends it with a “Well, yeah... someday.”

So what changed? Let’s jump forward to episode nineteen (S01E19) with the closing skit, “Choromatsu Rising.” If we know anything about Choromatsu, he isn’t the most self-aware compared to the rest of his brothers. The segment begins with Osomatsu and Todomatsu lazing about, doing nothing. Choromatsu enters the room, looking for everyone to announce that he is going to quit being an idol fan in order to start living a “proper” life.

Obviously, this isn’t taken very seriously by his brothers. They ignore him at first, only for him to start repeating his spiel. Totty is the one who is very vocal and abrasive about calling out his bullshit.

The thing is, Todomatsu is right. Choromatsu says that he intends to change, even going on another spiel about his plans to study abroad and find a girlfriend... I’ll probably put some examples down, but everyone who has watched this show, even if it was one episode, knows that validation and acceptance are VERY important to Choromatsu. He said these things because it makes him feel better about himself and his status as a NEET with no romantic or sexual experience. Even though he puts on this mask of being the most “put-together” brother, he is no different than any of them. I would argue (and I think this episode makes a clear case of this as well) that he is actually the WORST out of the six given how much he denies being who he is. He puts on an air of confidence in order to, or I guess attempt to, convince himself that he is fulfilling the role society wants him to play.

We see that in the skit “Dayon Tribe” (S01E23), the one directly connected to the previous segment “Kerosene,” he doesn’t REALLY think he’s the shining example of what the brothers could be. After Choromatsu was sent to get more kerosene for their space heater after a long mental showdown, he fails his task to go get drunk at a nearby pub. Each of the older brothers were sent separately to find out what was going on with Choromatsu, only to ALSO fall victim to the warmth and pleasure of alcohol. Eventually, the elder trio pass out and get eaten by an extremely drunk Dayon. They wake up inside of Dayon and find a whole tribe of people living inside of his body with his exact facial features. They get found out and surrounded by Dayon villagers. Choromatsu straggles behind due to being a lightweight and is taken by the villagers. The younger trio are stuck behind in absolute chaos, Jyushimatsu freaking out while Totty is crying on the floor. After some time has passed, Ichimatsu, Jyushimatsu and Todomatsu all go out to find their brothers and they also get eaten. They walk in on a wedding ceremony where Choromatsu is marrying the village woman that found the older trio. Totty is NOT HAVING IT (he really does have a pattern on calling Choro on his bullshit, huh?).

Osomatsu and Karamatsu appear, explaining that they want to stay here because of how great the Dayon world is. Everything is provided for them, since Dayon has sucked in everything they need. There’s no reason to work in exchange for food and shelter because they already have those things. They can essentially stay NEETs forever. The other thing, which is very important, is that there are no class systems or expectations in the Dayon world. There is no societal pressure to start families, have good jobs, get an education, et cetera. Everyone is the same and everyone is happy.

Todomatsu and Choromatsu go back and forth for a bit before Choromatsu breaks down and cries in front of everyone, revealing his true feelings.

Choromatsu finally is honest with himself and his brothers, and we see his deepest insecurities. He feels burdened by societal expectations, wanting desperately to become the person that he feels he should be, but feels trapped in a cycle of mediocrity. I think most of all, he puts those expectations on himself. He feels that he needs to make his parents proud of him, and that it is his responsibility to pull his brothers out of NEETdom through his successes.

So, going back to “Let’s Become Independent,” I have a couple theories. One theory could be that Choromatsu only said these things to get into his mother’s good graces and that he didn’t truly believe what he was saying. The other is that Choromatsu truly believed that to be the case for him. He was the only brother most willing to go job hunting, after all. He didn’t WANT to be a NEET. It only made the most logical sense, or so he thinks.

Now you’re probably thinking “okay, but how does that imply he’s gay?” Well, I’m getting to that. Patience is a virtue. Before we get to that, I want to talk about Choromatsu’s relationship to the women in his life and how I think it is affected by my previous points. Let’s go back to “Choromatsu Rising.” After confronting his self-awareness ball, Choromatsu asks his brothers for help. So, since he said he wanted to get a girlfriend, why not go find some girls? Osomatsu points out different girls for Choromatsu to talk to. Each one, however, ends up with him shooting the idea down.

No matter what woman, even if she is perceived as attractive or not, Choromatsu refuses even the idea of approaching her. It isn’t even that he HAS to find a girlfriend, this is so he can just... TALK to a woman. He adamantly refuses, believing that he is so far beneath any woman he sees, despite moments ago he was planning to turn his whole life around. With each idea being shot down, his self-awareness grows in size until he becomes fully delusional and he turns into a pathetic version of his ideal self.

Now, I want to talk about two of the most prominent women in his life: Totoko and Nyaa-chan. I’m going to be honest here, and I say this as someone that adores Choromatsu SO MUCH that I’m willing to write a whole essay about why I headcanon him as not straight for fun: he’s a misogynist. Just straight up. His affection for both of them is entirely superficial and is based solely on how “cute” he thinks they are. Nothing that he likes about them is based in their individual personalities. He doesn’t like them as people, he likes the IDEA of them. This also ties into his obsession with idols and idol culture as a whole.

Idol groups are manufactured to be absolutely squeaky clean and desirable. Young girls (yes I really do mean girls... like literal children) are recruited based on their physical attractiveness and then trained to gain those social, musical and dance skills afterwards. Idols have a quick turn around rate, as they “age out” of idol entertainment by their late 20s’. Being young and desirable is the idol industry’s bread and butter. Agencies hyper-micromanage their idol’s appearances and social life, even forbidding idol’s to drink, smoke, or have relationships in public in order to maintain an aura of “purity.” Some idols come forward about their mistreatment and abuse, but overall, calling attention to your mistreatment is a big social faux pas.

THOSE are the qualities that Choromatsu finds attractive; innocence and availability. When those qualities are no longer in a woman, he’ll become less attracted to them, as we see in “Unit Formed,” (S03E04) where Nyaa and Totoko form into a wrestling duo.

So, now I want to get to the good stuff. The thing you’ve been waiting for if you even bothered to read this far (MS Word says I have over 1.7k words last I checked lmao)... Why is he gay, specifically? What evidence do I have to support my reasoning? Let’s go back to “Jyushimatsu and Comiket” (S01E17), a skit that is a part of a collection of Jyshimatsu-centered shorts. In this one, Choromatsu is in Comiket (it’s basically Japan’s version of Comic-Con) and find Jyushimatsu with his own artist’s booth selling doujinshi (fan-made comics)... Of BL.

Oh, it’s Baseball.

What I want to bring attention to is how knowledgeable Choromatsu is with BL pairings and terms, which is very interesting to me. Yes, I know he is a part of otaku culture, but there is no requirement to know these things just because you’re an otaku.

He actually even ends up buying something! Sure, it’s probably just baseball, but still. With that, I want to talk about Choroko, Choromatsu’s Girlymatsu counterpart, introduced in the skit “Girlymatsu-san.” (S01E13)

Immediately, we know as the audience that Choroko is a fan of BL. While fujoshis are a subculture within the larger otaku umbrella, it’s an odd choice for Choromatsu’s “girl version.” Choromatsu is never implied to be someone who is into yuri, which some might say is the “inverse” of BL. In fact, none of his fantasies involving Totoko or Nyaa-chan revolve around the two women being with each other, only him. So why is Choroko a fujoshi, specifically?

So, let’s wrap this up by going back to “The Way Home” and “Let’s Become Independent.” What changed between these two scenes and why?

My theory is that Choromatsu, pressured to become the perfect son, doubled by the fact that he and his brothers are all NEETs, has ingrained the idea that what he wants is a picture-perfect life. That includes getting a well-paying, respectable job, a wife, children, a home and most of all, conformity. He WANTS to be part of a life where everything expected of him is fulfilled. Just like in “Dayon’s Tribe.”

When he promised his mother grandchildren, he was confident in that claim while ALSO saying it in order to get in his mother’s good graces, confirming that his parents want grandchildren and by proxy, him to have a family capable of producing grandchildren.

In “The Way Home,” Choromatsu has finally had a more serious discussion about his future with his brothers after seeing an old classmate get married. It’s then that his subconscious tells him that maybe it’s not possible for him to be married, although he isn’t sure why.

I’m arguing here that Choromatsu is not aware of his identity and his superficial attraction to women is a symptom of compulsory heterosexuality, as he only finds the IDEA of women attractive. His ideas of women are all based off of marketing and pornography, shaping what he deems desirable by the most milquetoast definitions. I could argue that his fixation on idolism is because it is a “safe” and acceptable environment to fetishize young women, reaffirming his status as a heterosexual man.

Choromatsu does not know who he is because he never gives himself the opportunity to think about what it is he truly wants. He THINKS he knows himself as he stays within his role as the “responsible” one. However, we KNOW that he deludes himself into thinking a certain way, just like in “Choromatsu Rising.”

He is pressured by conservative Japanese society and his family to be the perfect Japanese man. The two eldest brothers, Osomatsu and Karamatsu, are not in any way conforming to the standards society has laid out. Osomatsu is VERY content with who he is and does not let his status as a NEET pressure him to become a “better” version of himself. We even see that Osomatsu’s self-awareness is the smallest of the sextuplets, showing how aware he is of his shortcomings and failures and just accepting that part of himself. Karamatsu also dresses and acts outside of the norm, as he is comfortable with his fashion choices and flowery prose despite the backlash he gets from his siblings. Neither of them show any desire to become “better,” so Choromatsu puts that responsibility onto himself as the third eldest son.

Even with his otakuism, he sees that as a flaw rather than a character trait. He WANTS to let that part of him go, finding his hobbies “shameful.” Otakus, despite what many Western fans may think, are heavily looked down upon in Japan. Things like anime and manga are considered “childish” mediums, as most people who watch anime are children and young teens, with most adults only enjoying anime and manga casually.

He truly thinks that the only thing “wrong” with him is his status as an otaku NEET. He has repressed his true desires so deeply that he doesn’t even think he has any hidden feelings in the first place.

While same-sex marriage is still illegal, there is hope for progress in the future. Dentsu, an international advertising and public-relations firm conducted a poll in 2018 reported that 78.4% of participants aged 20–59 reported that they “approved” or “somewhat approved” of gay marriage. Activist groups have been working tirelessly to organize events in order to bring people together and reduce the stigma against LGBT+ people.

“Someday” indeed. Let’s hope for brighter tomorrow.

Also, here’s a little brief regarding LGBT+ legislation and consensus in Japan I found here that I thought was very helpful.

I hope you enjoyed reading if you did!!!!

(x)

#osomatsu san #mr osomatsu #osomatsu san season 3 #osomatsu san season 3 spoilers #choromatsu matsuno #n2nu og #i have more sources but i didn't want to compile them without direct links #anyways choromatsu is gay

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frobin · 3 years

Text

Analysis: Do Franky and Robin count as married?

Okay let’s get this started! And how? With looking up the definition of marriage!

marriage (noun) mar·riage | \ ˈmer-ij, ˈma-rij \

Definition of marriage

1a: the state of being united as spouses in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law

1b: the mutual relation of married persons: WEDLOCK

1c: the institution whereby individuals are joined in a marriage

2: an act of marrying or the rite by which the married status is effected especially : the wedding ceremony and attendant festivities or formalities

3: an intimate or close union // the marriage of painting and poetry— J. T. Shawcross

So, marriage is a consensual and contractual union/relationship between spouses.

Webster also adds, that marriage is a very controversial word.

And while they point out some very interesting facts, we will concentrate on only this part (because we don’t care for American law right now):

The definition of the word marriage—or, more accurately, the understanding of what the institution of marriage properly consists of—continues to be highly controversial. (...) Ultimately, the controversy involves cultural traditions, religious beliefs, legal rulings, and ideas about fairness and basic human rights.

So, when we call something a marriage we always have to consider the culture, traditions, religious beliefs, legal rulings, ideas about fairness and basic human rights. Which can become difficult, since we are talking about a fictional world. In the end we will have to consider our own cultural background and in my case it is very euro-centric but I’ll try my best to not make it too much about that.

In the next step we should answer the question... (after the read more)

Why should anyone marry?

Nowadays there are three main reasons for marriage:

religious reason

legal reason

love

But let’s be honest, the deeper we dig, the more we can put together religious and legal reason, because in the end, many religions were the original background to legal texts. What more are the 10 commandments than a rulebook for living as a group?

That does not change that it’s still important for many to have a religious wedding. Being married by a priest in a church, in a temple, with the customs of they grew up with. For some it means to be with their partner even after death.

The legal reason is becoming more important in many “modern” countries. Being married can mean that there are tax benefits, security in ownership, security with child paternity and adoption and many more. Often only legal family members are allowed to visit a patient in hospitals and are allowed to make decisions for the spouse.

(Sometimes it’s already enough to just be engaged.)

The last reason does not need any explaining I guess: Love. If you love and know your spouse and want to stay together forever and make it clear to everyone, marry them! Celebrate with your friends and family and tell everyone “we stick together through good and bad until death do us part”.

Now then let’s ask

Why should Franky and Robin marry?

Religious reasons:

We don’t know much about religion in One Piece. We see symbolism of Christianity, Satanism and Buddhism. Alabasta is inspired by old Egypt and the three weapons are named after planets or Roman god, while Big Mom named her homies after Greek gods.

Anyway, neither Franky nor Robin seem to be very religious. Robin met a “god” they both have seen how a following named Usopp a god. The celestial dragons are referred to as almost god-like. They’ve been to Thriller Bark and met Brook who is undead. Do they believe in a higher power? We don’t know but either way they don’t seem bothered by it.

So it does not seem like there is a need to marry because of religious reasons.

So what about legal reasons?

Both Franky and Robin are wanted criminals, not only in one country but in the whole world. As of now there is no reason for them to make their marriage legal because there is no law they abide to.

Officially they only exist as pirates within the Marine documentation. I don’t think either of them have their birth certificate. Robins place of birth is destroyed. Franky was probably born at sea. I think the only place where they would really sign themselves as citizens is Water Seven and - depending on what is going to happen - even that is highly unlikely.

They also don’t really seem to have anything in their possession of value. They basically live in an almost commune-like environment on Sunny where people probably do have their own things but also seem to share everything. So there is also no need to clear that up in the case of a divorce or of the death of one spouses. And again both being pirates, if they have children there won’t be any issue with child support or paternity. Because let’s be real, as long as they are part of the crew, Robin and Franky might be the parents by blood but kids will be raised by everyone.

There is no need to register with a government and no need for a contract. So no legal reason to be married.

So, love it is?

Yes. Yes it is. That is their pure reason to get “married”. But then again, what does marriage mean? Nowadays it’s always accredited by law or religion. Both seems unlikely and unnecessary for Franky and Robin.

So even if they love each other, can we claim that they are married? For whom should they clarify their relationship?

They are living within a small group of people so as long as they are openly in love it does not really matter if they are married or not.

BUT! Let’s take a look at the definition once more and more closely to point 2.

2: an act of marrying or the rite by which the married status is effected especially : the wedding ceremony and attendant festivities or formalities

If Franky and Robin decided to have a wedding ceremony of any kind just for the party, then there is no reason to do so in front of an entity or a government. And it will still be of the same value as any other marriage.

Now you may ask “Who is going to perform the marriage? And why?”

Good question! What about the captain? Well, there is no real evidence that pirate captains were allowed to or had the power to perform a wedding. We do know that Matelotage was a practice within pirate crews, comparable to a gay marriage and a contract. But I couldn’t find any fast information of how it was ‘legalized’. Female pirates were a rarity but maybe hetero Matelotage was a thing too? As for modern times, it really depends under which flag the ship is sailing, if the captain is allowed to perform marriage.

But again, we’re talking about a (fictional) pirate crew so they sail under their own flag and who is to say that Luffy is not able to do it as a captain? Heck, if Luffy does not want to do it, Brook used to be a captain, Jinbe too.

So, if Franky and Robin decide to celebrate a wedding of any kind and promise in front of witnesses whatever they feel like that means to be married, then yes. These two will be married.

So, are Franky and Robin married?

Sadly, no. Because we didn’t see the wedding ceremony.

By the pure definition of it, as our modern understanding goes, Franky and Robin are not married.

But...

Can I still call them married?

Heck yeah! Because we all know what we mean by it: that they are in a consensual and committed relationship.

And so it does not matter if you think it’s an asexual or sexual relationship. It does not matter if they are also polyamorous or monogamous. It does not matter which gender or sexuality you headcanon.

You can also headcanon that they indeed had the party that made it all “official”. You can imagine it in any way you want because that is what is so beautiful about your own mind. No one can take that from you.

In conclusion...

Canon? No. Fanon? You know it ;)

After all Robin already has her wedding dress:

Happy June, that is both pride month and apparently the best month to marry! ... Isn’t that an interesting coincidence?

PS. Feel free to use the exact same logic for any Strawhat Ship! Or any Pirate Ship for that matter.

#Frobin #One Piece #OP Meta #OP Analysis #Are Franky and Robin married?#Wedding in June #Headcanon #Analysis #pride month #canon #This took me way too long #huge shout out to Bones who did some beta reading #Also look at that dress #kon #Sorry for any remaining mistakes #they are my fault alone

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bechloeislegit · 3 years

Text

25 Days of BeChloe Christmases-2020

Day 6 - Christmas Surprise

Prompt from Tumblr User Anonymous: {Full prompt is noted at the end}.

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Beca sat in the conference room with most of the production staff waiting for Theo and DJ Khaled to start the meeting. Beca had no idea why the meeting was called; they were just told that Khaled had an announcement to make.

Beca thought about what it could be. Maybe a big name, like Beyonce, or something was going to need someone to produce their next album. Or maybe it was about Christmas bonuses. Beca had heard that Khaled was very generous with bonuses in the past.

"Quiet everyone!" Theo called out when DJ Khaled finally made his way into the conference room.

"Good afternoon, everyone," Khaled said after everyone had settled down. "The studio is going to donate two-hundred and fifty thousand dollars in one of your names this Christmas."

Everyone began murmuring and speaking in surprise hushed tones.

"Now, the recipient will be our Top Producer this year," Khaled continued. "All we ask is that in order to have the money donated, this person must participate in a prank that the studio execs have come up with. So, without further ado the Top Producer this year is. . .Beca Mitchell! Beca, please come up here."

Beca's eyes widened in shock. The first shock was that she was the studio's Top Producer for the year. The second was that some deserving charity was going to receive a quarter of a million dollars in her name.

"Come on, Beca!" Theo called out, spurring Beca to finally move and join DJ Khaled at the front of the conference room.

"Congratulations, Beca," DJ Khaled. "I knew when I signed you, that you would exceed our expectations. And, you did not disappoint."

"Thank you," Beca said quietly.

"Now, what charity do you want the donation to go to?" Theo asked.

"What prank will I have to be involved in?" Beca countered.

"You've learned the art of negotiation well," Khaled said, as he and Theo chuckled.

They went on to explain to Beca what she needed to do and Beca looked horrified.

"You want me to involve Chloe in this prank?" Beca asked. "I don't know if I can do that."

"It's a quarter of a million dollars, Beca," Theo said. "That's two-hundred and fifty thousand really good reasons to involve Chloe. I'm sure after it's all over and you explain everything, she'll understand and forgive you."

"Speaking of explaining to Chloe," Khaled said. "You can't tell anyone about the prank AND you have to keep the prank going until Midnight in order for the money to be donated on your behalf. Luke here will be your partner in crime for the prank. He'll also make sure you don't give it away before Midnight."

Beca stood, biting her lip in thought. "Will Chloe really be okay with this when she finds out it's all a prank and not real?"

"I'll do it," Beca said. "It's for charity after all."

"Good call," Theo said, clapping Beca on the back.

The assembled group started clapping and cheering.

"I just hope Chloe doesn't kill me before it's over," Beca mumbled.

~~ Day 6 of the 25 Days of BeChloe Christmases - 2020 ~~

A week later, Beca was nervously pacing around in her home office. It was Christmas Eve and today was the day of the two-hundred and fifty thousand dollar prank.

At exactly five o'clock the doorbell rang throughout the house. This was the first step in the plan. A plan Beca had to keep going for seven hours in order for the money to be donated in her name.

"Beca! Could you come down here, please?" Chloe's voice called from downstairs.

Beca took a deep breath and let it out. "Coming!" she called back and slowly made her way downstairs.

When she reached the living room, Chloe was standing with her arms crossed, looking at the guy standing by the door.

"Luke?" Beca said, looking at the guy.

"Beca, love," Luke said, hurrying over to Beca.

Luke grabbed Beca in a hug. Beca looked over Luke's shoulder to see Chloe staring at her with her mouth opened in shock.

"Luke, what are you doing here?" Beca asked, pulling back from the hug.

"Is that any way to greet your husband?" Luke asked.

"HUSBAND?!" Chloe yelled. "Beca, what the fuck is going on here? And who the Hell is this guy?"

"Oh, God," Beca thought. "Chloe dropped the f-bomb. She's already pissed. How am I supposed to keep this up until Midnight."

"Chloe, I can explain," Beca said, moving away from Luke. "There's something about myself I haven't told you."

Beca stood looking between Chloe and Luke.

"Go ahead, Beca," Chloe said. "Explain this. . .supposed husband of yours I know nothing about."

"Um, well, it's, uh-" Beca stammered trying to explain to Chloe.

"We are married," Luke said. "We have been for twelve years now."

"WHAT?!" Chloe yelled.

"No, we're not," Beca said. "We, uh, we had it annulled."

"No, we didn't," Luke said.

"YES, we did!" Beca said.

"No, we-"

"Shut up!" Chloe yelled. "Both of you, just shut up."

"But, Chloe," Beca started.

"I said, shut up, Beca," Chloe said through gritted teeth. "I need to process this."

"We're not still married," Beca said, glaring at Luke.

"Yes, we are," Luke said.

"No, we're-" Beca snapped her mouth shut when she saw Chloe glaring at her.

~~ Day 6 of the 25 Days of BeChloe Christmases - 2020 ~~

After standing around in awkward silence for a few minutes, Beca began fidgeting. Chloe looked at her.

"Okay," Chloe finally said. "Beca, explain how you two came to be married to him."

"Well, we, uh, were dating in High School," Beca said. "And I, uh, um, thought I was pregnant. So, my folks said we had to get married."

"You told me you knew you were gay when you were fourteen," Chloe interrupted.

"I did," Beca said. "But, I wasn't out yet, so I dated Luke so people wouldn't know I was gay."

"And you still fucked him?" Chloe asked. "Knowing you were gay?"

"I, I," Beca didn't know what to say.

"She couldn't help herself," Luke said with a smug smirk. He pulled up his shirt to show off his abs. "If I look this good now, imagine how good I looked back then. She didn't stand a chance."

Beca grimaced and jerked Luke's shirt back down.

"Babe," Beca said, reaching for Chloe.

"Don't touch me!"

"Chlo, come on," Beca said beseechingly. "I love you. You're the one I'm with now and want to be with forever. He's just a forgotten memory."

"If you're still married to him," Chloe said. "Then our marriage is null and void."

"But, I've been trying to tell you," Beca said. "We're not still married."

"Yes, we are," Luke said.

Beca glared at him and he took a step back.

"You never signed the annulment papers," Luke explained. "Which means the papers never got filed. Which also means, we're still married."

Beca let out a gasp and stood with her mouth opened in shock.

"I can't believe this!" Chloe cried, throwing up her hands and running out of the room.

Chloe ran upstairs and Beca heard the slamming of their bedroom door. Beca turned on Luke. "This wasn't part of the plan!"

"Theo told me to improvise where I saw it was necessary," Luke said. "I felt it was necessary."

"I can't do this anymore," Beca said, turning to go upstairs. "Chloe' more upset than I thought she'd be and I'm going to tell her the truth."

Luke grabbed Beca's arm to stop her.

"What about the donation?" Luke asked. "Think about how many people that money can help. Are you that selfish that you'd deny people in need? I thought you were better than that, Beca."

"But, this has gone too far," Beca said with tears in her eyes. "I need to go check on Chloe."

"I'll go with you," Luke said, turning to follow Beca.

"NO!" Beca screamed in his face. "You've done enough. Chloe now thinks our marriage isn't even legal thanks to your little improvisation. She's ready to walk out. How are we going to keep this going until Midnight to even get the money donated? How can I calm her down if I can't tell her what's going on?"

Beca sat on the steps and put her head in her hand. "Why did I even agree to this stupid prank?"

Beca heard a noise behind her and looked over her shoulder to see Chloe coming down the stairs with a suitcase. Beca quickly jumped up, blocking Chloe's path.

"Chloe, what are you doing?" Beca asked.

"I'm leaving," Chloe said. "I can't stay with you if you're married to someone else."

"But I'm not married to someone else," Beca said. "I'm only married to you."

"Then show me the divorce or annulment papers," Chloe said.

"I, I, um, I can't," Beca said. "I don't have them."

Chloe huffed and proceeded to push past Beca and walk to the door. Chloe stopped with her hand on the knob; she looked at Beca.

"I love you, Beca," Chloe said. "God knows I do. But, you can't be married to two people at once."

"It's Christmas Eve," Beca said. "Where are you going to go?"

"I called Emily and she said I could stay with her," Chloe replied. "Christmas has always been my favorite time of the year. Thanks to you, this Christmas will always be remembered as the worst one of my life. Goodbye, Beca."

Chloe lifted her suitcase and walked out the door, closing it softly behind her.

~~ Day 6 of the 25 Days of BeChloe Christmases - 2020 ~~

Beca stood momentarily frozen in place as tears streamed down her face. She shook her head to clear it and ran toward the door.

"Chloe! Come back!" Beca was yelling as she yanked open the door and ran out. "Don't go! It was all a prank. A joke. It's not -.” Beca stopped short. "What the Hell?"

Beca stood looking down the front steps to see Chloe, smiling as she stood with Theo and DJ Khaled. There were several cameras pointed at her.

"What the Hell is going on here?" Beca asked, wiping her face with the back of her hand.

"Gotcha!" Chloe yelled, racing up the steps to stand with Beca.

Chloe moved to pull Beca to her, but Beca pushed her away.

"Gotcha! What the Hell does that mean?" Beca asked. "Someone explain, please."

"Well, we-" Theo started to speak only to stop when Chloe held up a hand.

"I'll tell her," Chloe said. "Theo called me and told me about the prank. He said if I could get you to break and tell me it was a prank before Midnight, Khaled would double the donation. So, now instead of two-hundred and fifty-thousand dollars going to a charity of our choice, it will be five hundred thousand dollars."

Beca looked at Theo and DJ Khaled. "Why would you put me through all this? I honestly thought Chloe was leaving me. Hell, I was even beginning to think Luke and I were actually married."

"You could do worse," Luke said from behind Beca.

"It was for a good cause," Khaled said.

Luke quickly moved past Beca and Chloe to join Theo and DJ Khaled.

"By the way," Chloe said, pulling Beca into a hug. "The suitcase is empty. I could never leave you; I love you too much."

"You're lucky I love you, too," Beca mumbled into Chloe's shoulder. "Why are all the cameras here?"

"You know that show Pranked?" Chloe asked

"Yeah," Beca said.

"You're going to be on it."

~~ Day 6 of the 25 Days of BeChloe Christmases - 2020 ~~

Christmas Day found Beca and Chloe snuggled together on their sofa with most of the Bellas sitting around their living room. All the news stations and social media sights were hyping the extremely large donation that was given to St. Jude's Children Hospital for cancer research on behalf of Beca and Chloe Mitchell.

"So, Theo and Khaled did all that to give money to charity?" Stacie asked.

"Yes," Beca said. "And to have the prank shown on Pranked. They think it will generate a lot of publicity for the studio."

"Does anyone want to see the unedited version?" Chloe asked.

"No, Chloe," Beca said. "It's embarrassing."

"Yeah, for you," Emily said, snickering.

"And that's all the more reason we want to see it," Aubrey said.

The Bellas all agreed and Chloe set up the computer to view the video on their large flat-screen television.

Beca covered her face as the girls laughed through most of the video. That is until it got to the part where Chloe had walked out and Beca started crying.

"Aw, Becs," Stacie said, looking over at the quiet brunette. "You really thought she was leaving you?"

"I did," Beca whispered.

Tears came to Chloe's eyes when she saw Beca crying on the screen.

"Becs," Chloe said softly, pulling Beca to her. "I'm sorry. I didn't know my leaving would affect you that strongly. You know, it was just pretend, right? I'm in this forever, I swear."

"Good," Beca said. "If you ever said you were going to leave me, I would be devastated. You're my world, Chloe, and I love you more and more every day."

"You're such a softie," Aubrey said fondly. "I'm glad you and Chloe have each other."

"Me, too," Beca said, pulling Chloe closer to her.

"I love you, too," Chloe said.

Beca pulled back so she could grab Chloe's lips in a kiss.

"Merry Christmas!" the Bellas called out as the couple continued to kiss.

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Full Prompt from Tumblr User Anonymous: [I made a couple of minor changes from the original prompt, but kept the basic premise]. The studio Beca works for is hosting a Christmas contest in which half a million dollars will be donated to any charity of Beca's choosing in her name. The catch is that Beca has to go along with whatever prank is chosen for 24 hours. The prank is that a random dude Beca works with comes over to her house and Beca introduces him to Chloe as her ex-husband. "I never told you but I was married for a few months in high school." Naturally, Chloe is a little jealous and miffed. But Beca has to keep up the charade until midnight.

#behloe fanfiction #beca mitchell #chloe beale #Christmas 2020

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jemej3m · 4 years

Text

if the shoe (ring) fits

in which we meet ichirou, who’s a lot more tolerant to neil’s fuckery than expected.

“Condolences on your father,” Neil said, respectfully with a gentle bow of his head.

He had not liked Kengo Moriyama. The man had been brusque and ruthless, and sickeningly traditional. In a way it was why he and Nathan had be been so well matched together.

“Condolences on yours,” said Kengo’s son, looking out across the sea of milling individuals, dabbing their eyes with napkins and clasping each other’s wrists. Kengo’s brother was down there, somewhere, but not his second son. Nor his wife, who was killed for allowing Riko to exist.

The funeral was plasticky. Neil had never actually been to a funeral, seeing as his mother had been thrown into the bottom of a lake and his father had died whilst incarcerated.

Neil hummed, settling down beside Ichirou.

“We need to talk about your security.”

Neil paused a moment before rolling his eyes. “This again?”

“Yes,” the man said, one eyebrow arched. “How do you expect to continue a dynasty without a child?”

“I’ll have a child,” Neil said offhandedly, even if the idea terrified him. Every day he walked around wondering if there was a switch in his body that’d turn him into Nathan, or at least open up and shove him down the path to become him. Perhaps having a child was that trigger. As a coddling infant, Neil could remember one or two moments of peace and joy with his father, before Nathan decided Neil was a good target for his anger. “Anyone can have a child.”

Neil had never, and would never, have sex with a woman, so long as he was still with Andrew. Which he fully intended to be. But he assumed that it was relatively simple.

“You need a wife,” Ichirou’s voice was cold. “There are many good candidates that you can evaluate -”

“I’m already married,” Neil blurted out. Oops. Andrew was not going to be pleased that Ichirou knew before even he did.

Ichirou finally turned from overseeing his father’s funeral, up on his prestigious balcony, to look at Neil. His eyes were impossibly narrowed. “You’re what?”

“My lord,” Neil said, emphatically. “It has been successfully strategic. This person diverts police attention away from me and the Wesninski name, which in turn includes your name. I do believe I avoided telling you because I didn’t want to trouble you whilst your father was ill.”

“Bullshit, Nathaniel,” Ichirou bulstered, his calm facade broken. He looked very tired and a little incredulous. “I can’t believe you’re married to that fucking cop. Seriously? I could have looked around him being a man, but a police officer?”

Neil shrugged. “It’s worked for us.” He jostled the man’s shoulder. “I forget you’re only a few years older than me, with the way you act like a wall.”

“Yeah, well,” Ichirou muttered. “Neither of us can live up to how our fathers wanted us to be, I suppose. Gay and married to a cop,” he scoffed, but it was almost a laugh. “Your father would’ve had an aneurysm.”

“Not gay,” Neil muttered. “And he did. That’s how he died.” Blunt trauma to the head, clotting, aneurysm, boom: no more Nathan. No one was sad about it.

“You need an heir of your blood and bone, still,” Ichirou insisted. “Not letting you get away with that one.”

Neil waved him off. “Surrogacy with Allison. We’re in the modern world, Ichirou. There’s always a solution.” He wasn’t about to say that he didn’t intend on sticking around for that long.

Ichirou considered him for a bit, before turning back with a resumed stony expression. “Don’t forget your place, Wesninski.” After a few moments, he added “Congratulations.”

Neil felt something settle in his stomach. Relief.

Now he just had to tell Andrew.

The apartment was dark when Neil arrived home, lugging his little suitcase through the door. He’d only gone to New York for the weekend, of which Andrew had been thoroughly peeved about: they both worked long hours during the week, and weekend were meant to be their time.

It was easier now that they lived together. They’d moved in a year ago: it meant Neil only needed heightened security detail on one place rather than two, the rent was cheaper together (not that Neil really needed to worry about that), and it was closer to Andrew’s precinct than his old place.

The dusty yellow lamp was still on in their bedroom despite the late (or early) hour. Neil left his suitcase out by the couch and tip-toed his way into their room.

He had fallen asleep reading, the book on his chest and head at an awkward angle on the pillow. Neil grinned: Nicky had given him a set of grinch-themed sleep clothes last year for Christmas. He wondered how many times Andrew would stab him if he took a photo and sent it to his cousin.

Andrew had to be up for work and Neil wanted to avoid waking him if he could, so he dressed in pyjamas as quietly as he could manage and eased himself onto the mattress. The bed was pushed up against the wall so that Andrew could sleep with his back curled against it, so Neil could easily relieve Andrew of his book, settle it on their one nightstand and switch off the lamp. Then he held Andrew’s shoulder lightly, and tried to ease him into a better position that wouldn’t hurt his neck.

Andrew made a few light noises before rolling and almost squishing Neil underneath him. Neil laughed as Andrew’s arm came around Neil’s chest, his face settling into the crook of Neil’s shoulder.

Neil twisted around till his back was against Andrew’s chest and let himself relax. He’d worry about the marriage proposal later.

Neil knew, objectively, that Andrew wouldn’t say no to marrying him. They were kind of a forever package: The four years since they’d first met and just over three years since they first got together have been as smooth as any relationship between a mobster and a police officer could be.

Neither of them had really sat down and said that out loud though: they each had their fair share of problems than inhibited any such emotional conversation. But Neil still knew.

It was in the way Andrew cooked him his favourite meal when he got home at eleven at night, exhausted and haunted by screams, continually scrubbing at his hands. It was in every sacrifice Andrew made for Neil, the faith he put into Neil’s promises that they wouldn’t have to live they way they did forever.

“You have something to tell me,” Andrew said the following night, when he’d arrived home from work. Neil put dinner down on the table - mac ‘n’ cheese, with nothing remotely healthy about it - and Andrew arched his eyebrow.

Neil sighed and slumped into his chair opposite him, tugging at the collar of his shirt. It was suddenly very warm. Had he turned the oven off?

“Neil,” Andrew warned. “Did something happen in New York?”

“Oh, you know,” Neil said, lightly. “Nothing really. I, uh,” Andrew leaned closer, eyes narrower. “I may have told Ichirou we’re married to get him off my back?”

For a moment, Andrew stared.

“So, what do you think?” Neil asked, voice reed-thin. “I’d change my vows to be ‘CI till death do us part’.”

It didn’t seem like the joke went down well: Andrew’s chair skidded back as the man stood, immediately vanishing from the living room. The bedroom door clicked firmly shut behind him and Neil put his head in his hands. It was too soon, or Andrew didn’t feel the same, or maybe this was Neil’s final straw and now he’d fucked up one too many times for Andrew to tolerate.

“Fuck,” he muttered, rubbing his eyes. “Fuck.”

It’s not like Neil was hell-bent on marriage either - he’d seen the bloodied divorce between his own parents - but it put the two of them on a different page. There was no way that Neil would force Andrew into something he didn’t want - or that Andrew would let him - but it’d be a rift between them. Maybe even permanently.

Neil didn’t want to lose Andrew over this. He should have waited - it’s not like Ichirou would have actually checked legal records to see if they were properly married - they’d only been dating for three years, that wasn’t that long by modern standards, if Neil wasn’t so ridiculously irrational then this wouldn’t have been a problem. He wouldn’t lose Andrew over his loose tongue, when there were plenty of valid reasons for Andrew to leave him -

“Stop.”

Neil looked up, movements jerky and uncoordinated. His limbs felt dismembered. Andrew was stood by the table, watching him with hooded eyes and curled fists.

Neil made a weak noise of inquiry. It broke in his throat.

“Stop thinking,” Andrew clarified, slowly sitting back down on his chair. “You��ll hurt yourself.”

Neil snorted, rubbing the corner of his eye. After another moment of terse silence, Neil cleared his throat. “I can fix it. I shouldn’t have said anything, Andrew - ”

Lightning fast, Andrew reached over their food and put something on the table. For a moment the little velvet box didn’t register in Neil’s mind, but then his stomach was rolling on the floor, heart swooping and soaring. With careful fingers, he picked up the box and opened it.

Within were two silver bands, identical but for the size. Simple. Glossy. Neil took out the smaller one and slipped it on - it fit perfectly, of course. The new weight on his finger felt odd. Odd but good.

“How the fuck did you get my size?” Neil remarked, quiet. Everything was very quiet, but for his heart, which was probably thudding loud enough that even the corpses in Linkin Park could hear.

Splotches of colour appeared on Andrew’s cheeks. “You were napping.”

Neil laughed, admiring it. He wasn’t fussed about jewellery, or ceremonies, or titles or heirs or tradition. He just wanted to know that he’d go to sleep and wake up by Andrew’s side, every day that he could.

“Yes?” Andrew asked, just to be sure.

Neil took Andrew’s left hand where it was resting on the table top and slipped on his respective wrist, kissing his knuckles in lieu of an answer.

“You cannot have ‘Nathaniel Wesninski’ on your marriage papers, Andrew. Are you insane?”

“You’re not taking my name. Or hyphenating.”

Neil huffed out a laugh. “Wesninski-Minyard. No, thank you.”

Andrew scoffed. “I think you mean Minyard-Wesninski.”

Neil shook his head, leaning into Andrew’s shoulder. A lot of time had gone into not reacting to that name with visceral disgust, like it would have a few years ago. “I’ve been meaning to change my name for a while now. For real.”

Andrew looked at him. “They’d allow that?”

“Who cares about them?” Neil said, fierce. “It’s just a name. If they’re upset by that, they’ll be devastated by the knife in their stomach. Fuck them.”

Andrew hummed. “What will you change it to?”

Neil took the file of paperwork they were meant to fill out from Andrew’s la, already bored out of his skull. His legs filled the space, draped over Andrew’s lap. Neil pressed an open mouthed kiss to the corner of Andrew’s jaw, to which he rolled his eyes and muttered “Fine,” even though he was just as sick of the paperwork as Neil was.

“You already know what I’ll change it to,” Neil said, letting Andrew pick him up and carry him to their room.

“Neil Abram Hatford,” Andrew mumbled, laying Neil down atop of his side of the bed. It was unmade, as usual. He grinned and kicked the sheets away with two errant flicks of his feet, arms looped around Andrew’s neck. “Has a ring to it.”

“Hatford-Minyard? Minyard-Hatford?”

“Shut the fuck up,” Andrew muttered. Neil just laughed.

teehee!!!

#neil's bad at proposing #good thing he only has to do it once #andreil #mobster/cop au #butcher!neil #cop!andrew #proposal #marriage #andrew minyard #neil josten #all for the game #aftg #ichirou moriyama is not a robot #what a concept #jem writes

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vanhelsingenthusiast · 3 years

Note

dracula ask: you mentioned vancula in a previous post, so - in an au where van helsing and dracula are ex-lovers, whats the story there? how did they meet, what was their relationship like, why did it end?

Oooh good ask!

Ok here’s basically what I was thinking:

I would imagine that Dracula and Van Helsing met when Van Helsing was young (about 21-22 years), probably through Dracula being friends with Van Helsing’s mom or something. Like, she threw a party one night, and Dracula attended, and him and Bram just got along really well.

I don’t think they would have, like, immediately started a relationship. I think they would just be really good friends, especially because I imagine Van Helsing would have been already engaged or even married at the time they met. Of course, they both are in love with each other pretty much right away. I don’t think they’d be entirely aware of it, though. Like, for Bram, I don’t think he’d know his feelings for Dracula were more romantic just because he thought he was, yknow, a straight man. Whereas I think Dracula would think he was attracted to Bram, but I don’t think he would think he was in love with Bram right away just because he’s Bad at Emotions. So I think there’d be a few years where they’re close friends, in love with each other and in denial, and Van Helsing is married. Eventually, Van Helsing has his kid(s), yadda yadda. (I personally headcanon that Van Helsing has two kids, a son and a daughter, the daughter being the eldest, Anna and Jeroen).

I think Dracula would have had a lot of harsh feelings against Van Helsing’s wife (whom I have deemed Margareta), but he would have been courteous enough to not let her know about them. Bram would probably know he didn’t particularly like her, but I don’t think he’d know why. I do think Dracula would adore Bram’s kids and be a kinda fun uncle (should be noted I don’t think he would normally like kids).

Now eventually, Bram would realize he’s in love with Dracula. I think he’d be the first to recognize his feelings as love. I think first it would happen right after they meet, but I think he’d shove those feelings away and ignore them for a long time. In wake of his sons death, though, I think those feelings would come back hardcore especially because his and Margareta’s marriage really deteriorates after that. I think he’d probably really freak out once he first realizes, tbh.

Ok and now here’s where I get a bit conflicted. So, I don’t think Van Helsing would actively be in a relationship with anyone while he was married. I think he would view it as adultery (which it, yknow, is). BUT I don’t think him and Margareta would be able to split up, whether by divorce, or annulment. I’ve been doing some research, but I’m not Catholic or Dutch Reformed (which was the predominant sect of Christianity in the Netherlands at the time). I know annulments are the only allowed form of marriage split-off allowed in Catholicism, and I think divorces are allowed in Dutch Reformed only under very specific circumstances. I think, if Margareta found out he was gay and in love with Dracula somehow, that it could be qualifications for an annulment, but I’m really not sure. I’m pretty sure it only would be if he actually cheated, which is very ooc for him. I just couldn’t imagine him doing that at all. Then there’s the whole thing of Margareta going to an asylum,,,,,it’s just messy. So I’m still figuring all that out. If I ever do I’ll make a post abt it or smthn.

So, assuming they stayed married: I think Van Helsing would end their friendship once he realized he was in love with Dracula, just to cut off any “”temptation””. (I hate that word)

Assuming Margareta and Bram could get an annulment or divorce: I think Bram and Dracula would probably have some sort of partnership for a little while (it was legal for gay people to have relationships in the Netherlands at this time). Of course, Bram would find out Dracula was a vampire, and tbh I don’t think he’d break it off just for that reason. I think he’d probably ask Dracula to stop killing people, and then Dracula would just feed off animals for a little while, and then he’d give in one night and kill a human, Bram would find out and break it off then.

Either way, I think ultimately it would be Van Helsing to end it.

Anyways, this was very long and I’m sorry about that lol so

gist: I think they’d be friends for a while, they’d have a good and strong friendship, then Bram would be the one to ultimately end things, for whatever reason.

#dracula #count dracula #abraham van helsing #vancula #ask

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burnitalldowndarling · 3 years

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A morning epiphany

Navel-gazing ahead!

I finally figured out why various folks declaring that they’ll no longer read “A Family Affair” after the relationship becomes 4-way, bothers me so much. Like, I generally welcome good concrit. Granted that the odd 12yo yelling “you suck1!!” doesn’t even register; I’ve been in these here fanfic streets too long, little ones, come back when you learn how to use punctuation properly. But some of these readers are people who liked the series up to the point that the guys’ relationship turned into a true OT3, or a woman appeared and was treated as an equally important character, or kids appeared and were treated as important characters.

And it hits me: this is such a heterocentric way of engaging with the characters’ queerness.

Long rant follows.

I’m only recently coming around to regarding my own polyamory as a queer thing, and I get why: until very recently, polyamory (or more specifically polygamy) was basically just a kind of upgrade/add-on for heterosexuality -- Now With More Patriarchy! Isn’t it awesome that men can get it on with more than one woman and the women don’t complain! We can do “wife swapping!” (Never husband-swapping, huh?) Lately it’s “cuckolding!” on P.ornh.ub and so on -- a het kink, basically, and not a way of life. But in recent decades we’ve moved past that. I know a few healthy poly families, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything queer-er. The ways in which they have to function inherently reject the societal roles and sexual presumptions of cisheteropatriarchy, on almost every level. Even their breakups and divorces end up being queer af, because suddenly you’ve got a man, who was afab, suing for custody of kids that he’s not biologically related to, and having a real case for getting it because he’s been there in the kids’ lives from birth. (I don’t know how that one turned out, and it’s not my business. The other divorcing poly fam I know just did their own custody arrangement, for fear the courts would make things worse; they were probably right.) The rights issue is a serious one, btw; poly families have the same problems now that lesbian & gay families had before marriage got legalized, only there’s no way to legally fix those problems without also giving the thumbs-up to the gross With Extra Patriarchy cishet version of poly, which Christian-flavored cults will use to abuse girls and women. Legal rights can be managed, awkwardly and expensively and on a per-family basis, with the help of a phalanx of lawyers and a blizzard of medical directives and so on, but it’s a hurdle.

A hurdle that is not helped by other queer people expressing disgust whenever the characters move beyond what I consider The Cishet Framework. There can be only two. They can switch-hit a little, but mostly one is The Man and the other is The Woman in the relationship. Usually this gendering gets papered onto any other differences in power dynamics: the rich one is The Man, the disabled one is The Woman, if there’s an age difference then the older one is The Man (and some people are going to call that inherently abusive; c.f. all the nonsense about Taika/Rita/Tessa irl), and so on. They never renegotiate these power dynamics because the dynamics never change or evolve with time. If they form a family with children, it’s hetero framing there too: strictly nuclear family, “extra” partner kept nameless or unnaturally peripheral, no grandparents or other close family/friends living in. Usually the happy couple gets married, and frequently we never see the characters again after they do. All the emphasis is on getting together, and very little is on staying together -- even though, in the real world, that’s the real test.

Some of this is just the relative youth of a lot of the fanfic audience: they haven’t reached the stage of life where relationship maintenance matters to them because they’re still trying to find The One. (As someone who has found The One repeatedly but never made it work for longer than a few years, I’m very definitely biased in this respect.) But it’s also just really driving home to me how heterocentric “queer is a slur!” logic is. It encourages narrow definitions of queerness as only “two people of the same gender fucking, and maybe having a long term relationship and family -- but we don’t need to see that part, gross, ew, thank you no.” That’s homophobe thinking. That’s the Christian argument against queer relationships: they’re just sex-focused, not romantic, they’re inherently deviant and detrimental to the (nuclear, het) family, and everybody involved is probably a pedophile. And this is why the “q slur” people are trying to get rid of the term: because the quintessence of queerness is different ways of loving, different ways of forming family, different ways of being, all okay. Enough of that and The Cishet Framework gets bombarded from every direction: gender isn’t what you think it is, gender roles don’t have to be what they’ve been, monogamy (monoamory?) isn’t what it’s chalked up to be, parenting isn’t biology-centric, and family can be any group of humans who chose to form one without needing a stamp of approval from some authoritarian Church. And it finally hits me that a lot of the people going “ew” at my fics are doing so because they’re comfortable with only one form of difference. They’re willing to reconsider the cishet norm, but only so far. But is that an actual rejection of the cishet norm? Or is it just another way to uphold The Cishet Framework, slightly customized? Still With Extra Patriarchy, but now in the form of open disgust for women and children and extended unorthodox family?

I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised. Acephobia and biphobia are resurging in queerdom, and racism (because there’s also a white supremacist component to cisheteropatriarchy; lots of non-white cultures embrace polyamory and non-nuclear family) and misogyny have been here forever. This is another manifestation of the same things. But I think that’s why it bothers me so much: because several of the people doing this have usernames like “straighthater” or “gayerthanthou” (not their real usernames; just trying to convey the spirit -- and frequently these commenters were anon before I shut off anon commenting). And yet... in their scandalized rigidity, they’re actually the straightest commenters I’ve got.

Anyway, just needed to get this off my chest. And I’m going to do some rethinking of my own aversive anti-queerness, which mostly manifests in the form of heavy resistance to stuff like mpreg. Yeah, as it’s typically treated in fanfic, mpreg frequently ends up reinforcing The Cishet Framework too, but but at its core mpreg is about intersex bodies, and the fact that people treat it as a kink or a way to double down on misogyny doesn’t mean that’s the only way to engage with that subject matter. I can rebuild it, I think. I have the technology. And after all, am I queer or not?

#BIADD rants again #just ignore her #she talks to herself out loud sometimes #probably going to delete this shortly

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idgaf-what-you-call-me · 3 years

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This is the first time, outside of therapy, that I am opening up fully my past, I ask that you remain respectful.

Trigger warnings: Suicide, torture, neglect, alcoholism, … a lot listen you’ve got to be well resourced before you read this.

I know Dean, because I was Dean. I was raised to be “perfect”, I am so much like my dad, I didn’t have a childhood, I was tortured, I have lost time (dissociation not possession by an arc angel), I am fairly closeted, and I’m finally starting to get better.

Ever since a very young child, I was raised to be perfect. To look at a 99 and learn what I got wrong before I brought the grade home, otherwise, I was sent to study. I was raised to not be heard and taught to stay in my room. I was raised to not show emotion because anything more than stoic meant that I was an inconvenience. I had “fend for yourself nights” where I had to sort out what I would eat for dinner, and at inexcusably young ages, 5-6 years old. I learned to shoot at 8, and was taken fishing anytime my dad went. I was brought to the construction sites, learned how to use power tools, and eventually had my own set at home. While I wasn’t trained to hunt demons or other things that go bump in the night, I was molded to be just like my dad. My mom wasn’t around much when I was a kid, so I idolized my father. He was like a god to me. As I got older (legal), I even would drink things that my dad approved of like scotch and I smoked cigars. Often praised, “that’s my girl! Look guys, my daughter drinking scotch and smoking a cigar! Where are your kids?” The validation was like a high to me. I was desperate for his approval. Just like Dean. Talked like his dad, walked like his dad, drank like his dad, I get it.

I was blatantly ignored including being told that I was invisible by siblings. They would hold up a remote to me and say, “you’re invisible” and ignore me. I could leave the house and they would not come look for me. With my mom and dad often gone (usually working or partying we were quite poor), I didn’t have anyone looking after me since I was 4 so when my dad was around, much like Dean, all I wanted to do was make him happy and proud of me.

I was a closeted bisexual, who made so many gay jokes towards my cishet brother that I feel quite a bit of shame as an adult. I repressed every facet of desire I had for the opposite gender because being bisexual really meant that I must be gay. At least that is what Will and Grace told me, and I did not want to be gay. Things were bad enough, I didn’t need to add to my shit pile. By the time I was 12, I had no idea how to feel emotions and I had no idea how to love myself. Most days, now at 29, I still don’t know how to love myself. I am not out to everyone in my family. I don’t feel safe with everyone. All the gay jokes between the brothers, all the Dean is bi subtext, I lived a lot of it.

Torture can take the shape of many different forms but they fall under two umbrellas: physical and psychological. I was subjected to sound torture and sleep deprivation forms of physical torture that have lasting psychological effects. When you live through something like that, you don’t “rebound” in the traditional sense, and I would dissociate. My consciousness would retreat back into itself until it was safe enough to come back.

I dreaded Thursday nights as that is when it would begin. My father would bring home several cases of Michelob Ultra, from the store, and then he would start drinking. My dad didn’t measure his consumption in beers, instead he measured by the case. A form of extreme binge drinking that to this day I still don’t completely understand. While he would drink, his music would get progressively louder and louder until the whole house vibrated with noise.

There are some songs and artists that I cannot listen to anymore. They’re not songs by Metallica or Black Sabbath, instead they’re by Credence Clearwater Revival, Bob Dylan, Van Morrison and the like. Songs that people dance to at their weddings, sing at funerals, and enjoy on a road trip with the entire family. They are generally described as lively yet not heavy, yet this music was the conduit of 5 years of actual torture for me. I used to say that these were my favorite songs, but it was a way to cope with hearing them at home, and then hearing them play in the car on the way to school the next morning. In my house, the music was played so loudly that walls and floors shook and overwhelmed my senses and ability to sleep, think, do anything but have a heartbeat and breathe. It would last all night. I never learned to “fall asleep” I would pass out. To this day, I can be desperately tired, and able to drive for several hours without being a dangerous driver. Like my body learned to ignore fatigue. “I just need like 4 hours every couple of days,” yeah Deano, I’ve been there.

I would freeze mentally. Almost like a zone out but on steroids. Then I’d look around and things wouldn’t feel real to me. I would look in the mirror and see a stranger. Now I understand that I had developed dpdr as a way to cope. I don’t wish it on anyone.

My mother? She would leave the house and go clubbing. My siblings were 8 years older than me and lived on their own a great distance from where I lived. Besides, I had school to go to on Fridays. So I cooked, I monitored myself, I had to become an adult. I didn’t get to be a kid. My catharsis was angsty and fluffy Harry Potter fan fiction. You can find it on FF.net, RandHrFan I no longer post with that handle. Dean’s were movies, movies that my dad, and I’d wager his dad watched. I also love westerns just like my dad and my grandfather, there is something about them.

When Dean cries and opens up to Sam about his hell experiences, I get it. I’m so proud of him for telling Sam. To some it seems like he’s closed off but he’s not. He’s opening up as much as he mentally can. And Sam listens. Just like my sister eventually did. When Dean gets mad and yells at John and Mary, I’m proud of him, because he is fighting for himself. He knew he deserved better and he didn’t let it go. Just like I have done in my not so distant past.

All the while my parent’s marriage was fracturing and I was mentally declining. My mom began sleeping in my room and in my bed, and I was basically left to sleep on the couch. On days when my dad would drink, and my mom would go out, I could get to be in my room again. I could be on the computer (laptops weren’t a thing yet) which lived in my room. I could connect with the two other friends on AIM, but the reality of my situation I couldn’t escape. I was isolated, didn’t trust my family and I didn’t know how to ask for help.

One day I attempted to take my life. I saw no value in it. What was I doing with my life. I was a broken human who didn’t deserve love, who didn’t deserve safety, who didn’t deserve well anything. So I downed a bottle of pills. I had an iron clad stomach, I wasn’t too worried about not being successful. Except, I sent a goodbye message to a friend, and that friend saved my life. He got a hold of my sister who got to me in enough time to make me throw up. (She was a champ at that, having suffered from bulimia and taught to throw up from no other than my dad.)

I didn’t receive help afterwards. I signed a paper saying that I wouldn’t attempt again and was taken home. (I hope this isn’t how hospitals roll anymore.) I left my house, I went to school out of state and found stability, created stability for myself. But my past still haunted me whenever I went home. So when Dean has a death wish, and gets discharged from hospitals before he’s stable, I get it.

My parents eventually divorced, and I came home to a place where I couldn’t live anymore for a solid couple of months, I couch surfed, and again my mental health took a nosedive, but nevertheless, I persisted. I got my head back in the game, and finished my degree. Chemistry. I couldn’t go back home, because if I did I’d be working for my dad. I couldn’t do that, it was too painful. So I went to grad school. I got my Ph.D. I began to chart my own path. But there was a rage in me that I couldn’t escape. I lashed out at anyone and everyone to hide the pain that I felt all the time. People were afraid of me. I was great at what I did but I couldn’t make lasting connections with others.

When I was 27 suicidal ideations became dangerous, and I got about as dark. I tried to harm myself, and wanted my world to burn. It didn’t matter that I was married, with pets, and owned a home. Nothing mattered. I finally had to decide between life and death, I couldn’t continue in that state. I can say confidently that I would be dead if I didn’t get help that day. I wish Dean had this chance. He gets close to this in moments with Cas when he is honest about his feelings and experiences, he cries, he gets angry, lashes out, but Cas is there for him. From someone like Dean, I’ll tell you Cas being present holds more weight than gold for Dean.

I have been in intense therapy for a year. By intense I do mean more than once a week, regular check ins with her, and the occasional group session. She sends me articles to read, homework, and we do EMDR work, emotional integration therapy, mindfulness, etc.

It was then that I began to learn that all the rage that I had built inside me was hiding intense fear, loss, and disappointment. The rage gave way to tears, and the tears gave way to a new anger that I could make peace with. That anger comes from the person I am today. The person who fights for herself. Who doesn’t take shit from anyone. The person who says, humans don’t break, vases break, and I am a human. I see a lot of that in late season Dean. He is a fighter.

But I am still the person who receives a compliment and shuts down, there is still a side of me that doesn’t believe that I deserve nice things, good things to happen to me, but that person is getting smaller. My therapist likes to hit me with compliments when I am vulnerable as I am more likely to believe them. I still react like a dead fish when she says them, and then after the session sob for hours over it. One day my head and my heart will believe the same things about myself. I would have reacted the same way as Dean to that confession.

When the cards fall, I still know that I can depend on myself before anyone else because I had to. My life as an impoverished, unstable, depressed, neglected, and abused kid says I should be dead or amounting to nothing, but hear I am. I’ve now closely mentored about 20 undergraduate students, a handful of graduate students, and have helped them find their paths in life. I have taught nearly 1000 students. I made a difference with the life that I tried to throw away.

I have come to a place where I can love my dad. He is sober again, and yes, my love for him does depend on his sobriety. When he is drinking he is not the same person. I wouldn’t call him an A+ dad by a long shot, and hell I am so much like him that at times it makes me sick, but I do love him. I have been able to forgive him. Forgive in the sense that I can make peace with what happened. It doesn’t change what happened or how much it affected me, and I certainly don’t forget, but that isn’t what forgiveness is. I don’t hold the rage anymore. The fact that Dean is able to is personal for Dean, as it is for me, and it isn’t some “family that is what you do” type reason.

I do experience flashbacks when there are fireworks, I can’t go to a movie theatre because of the volume, when people play really loud music in their cars I typically have to peel off into a parking lot and meditate for 20 minutes to be able to drive again. There are some stores that I don’t shop at because their music triggers me. So when Dean experiences those flashbacks, I get it.

There is a belief in the psychology that monster shows help us become comfortable with our dark sides. My dark side saved me over and over again. My dark side told me to be better than them. My dark side told me to fight for me, to adopt a survivor mindset. (If you can’t tell I am a green veined Slytherin and have never been sorted into any other house even by random house generators.) The things I delight in are a bit off color. I cultivate a poison garden, consume way too much true crime, to gore I say give me s’more and so on. Dean gets to experience his dark side, and he has to make peace with it. He makes inappropriate jokes, laughs at it, but he also does talk about it.

This is the hard part: Just like Dean, I am also light. I love people (vomit), seriously though, they are more precious to me than any earthly possession. Plants bring me serenity. Animals are a comfort and companion in the worst of times. There isn’t much I wouldn’t do to protect living things. My motivations come from a place of love and a need to protect others from what I have been through. I know I can survive, but I don’t know if that is true for everyone else.

I know Dean. I was Dean. I see that every episode. Moments when he yells and screams for himself, I cheer him on. Moments where he tries to waste his life away, I understand, and am crying right with him. The purgatory apology guts me, I’ve had to make that apology more than once. The dead fish reaction, hell that is me at the end of a therapy session. I am here to say: Dean is not broken. Dean is strong. Dean is resilient. Dean doesn’t just fight for himself, he fights for the whole of creation. Dean is not a vase. He is a human.

Oh and John’s taste in beer, much like my fathers, is crap. Don’t drink shitty beer. Also, I don’t drink scotch anymore. I'm a gin girl and I drink *okay* beer.

I’m the same blogger who does drunk blogging regarding Supernatural on Saturdays. It is a lovely bit of comfort and joy for me and I won’t be stopping any time soon. We will get back to the lovely and light “Dean is Bi he he” commentary this weekend.

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floatingbook · 4 years

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On names and naming

- Reading: Tales of the Lavender Menace by Karla Jay

Discussed during a consciousness-raising meeting:

“For instance, many of us grappled together and by ourselves with the implications of naming. The most obvious manifestation of this power is the fact that in most countries women bear the surname of their fathers and then of their husbands. A woman “loses” her name when she marries, but in fact she has never had her own name. only her father’s. Worse still is the possibility of not having a father because to be “illegitimate” is to lack the imprimatur of patriarchal approval.” p. 55

As a woman, you have your father’s or your husband’s name, you’re dispossessed of all your matriarchal origins. It also is very likely that your patriarchal origins are a lie—and I do not mean this as a critic of the women in our ancestry who had children who did not get the name of their biological father, but as a critic of this despicable tradition. Men do a fraction of the work and yet get to brand a newborn as their own, as if the woman giving birth was no more than a possession.

We all know what weights names carry. There’s no denying it. Some names get you despised, some get you laughed at, some drown you in their commonness. They used to reveal who you were: names were carved out of professions (take “Smith”, “Steward”, “Butler”, “Cook”, or “Lefevre/Lefebvre” in French, “Mercier” as well) or out of places of dwelling (e.g. “Hall”, “Brooks” in English; “Dupont”, “Dubois” in French). But that meaning is fast lost with physical and social mobility, with traumas and rebellions, with the pace of society.

“Many of the women in Redstockings changed their names in rebellion against the patriarchy, often choosing to use their mother’s names. In addition to being a symbolic gesture, adopting a nom de guerre made it just a tad more difficult for the government to figure out who we were and where our paltry bank accounts were stowed when it came time to incarcerate us. As much as I wanted to drop my patronymic, however, I wasn’t eager to claim my mother’s name. Instead I decided to substitute “Jay”, my middle initial, for my last name. // When I tried out my new name, Karla Jay, it felt immediately like a more accurate representation of who I was. I realized changing my name was not only about challenging the patriarchy—it was also about untangling my own identity from my family history.”

Changing your name, starting with a brand new one, is a way to give yourself a clean slate. It’s a statement: I don’t want to belong to this family, I am not one of your possession. It’s a form of rebellion against the tradition that hands out last names. The point is to get rid of the branding connotation of the last name (either inherited from the father or taken in marriage) that turns a woman into just another piece of furniture that makes up the wealth of the men in her life.

“I understood for the first time that I had, in fact, always detested my birth name, Karla Jayne Berlin. Well, not all of it. Karla seemed to me an original first name, and I felt comfortable with it. […] His [Karla Jay’s father] first fought was to name me Gale because I had been born in a blizzard. My mother objected, so he chose my name from a list of freighters he spotted in the shipping news that he read every day in conjunction with his work. I’m lucky, I suppose, that a ship with a name like the Brunhilde didn’t dock then. Fortunately, the Karla Dane steamed into or out of port the week I was born, and my father was determined that would be my name. My mother persuaded him to change my middle name to Jayne instead of Dane, with the addition of an elegant Y.

But if I liked my first name, I hated the surname Berlin. For one thing, I’m not German. My ancestors came from the finest shtetls in England, Austria, and Ukraine. My paternal grandfather was from England, and for a long time I supposed that he had been assigned the name of a city when he entered the United States; immigration agents had a way back then of altering what they considered unpronounceable names. Years later, I discovered that my grandfather had changed his name himself. […]

I wasn’t particularly fond of my middle name either; people often assumed it was hyphenated to my first name. My mother and even Jessica, my best friend, called me Karla Jayne to get my attention when they were angry. As far back as I could remember, I had used my middle initial in place of Jayne. But I did like the “Jay” part. Some of my fond association with the word was based on pleasant times in summer camp. During my first summer there I was only five. I was placed in J-Bunk—probably an abbreviation for Junior Bunk—a place for children considered too young to be away from home for two months. J-Bunk was my first taste of freedom, a fun-filled life in the Catskills. Furthermore, Jay rhymes with “gay”.” p. 55-56

First names are given to us by our parents, who can be short-sighted, equipped with a taste that does not intersect with ours, or just unconscious of what a certain name entails. First names both mean a lot and nothing at all, and by that I mean that a first name is attached to you yourself first and foremost. Its main vocation is to designate you personally, to make you as individual, separated, specific in your existence, as opposed to the surname, which marks the bearer as part of a whole, the family, the bloodline, and as a woman a part of the possessions of a man. So it’s easier to grow into your first name, to make room into it for all the facets of your existence, than it is to get rid of the yoke of the surname. Hence the question, what to do with these patriarchal, misogynistic surnames?

Should we shun the surnames we were born or married into? What do we replace them with, then? Something that sounds nice to us? Something that holds a personal meaning? Something that describe an occupation we hold, a place we settled in? Do we choose a system that allows for the tracing of the matrilineal line? But then how do we agree collectively on a system, so that it is lisible and understandable? Where do we find the coherence? Do we even need the coherence?

“Changing my name was also a way of to “divorce” my parents, to let them know that I had never accepted them in that role. As children my brother and I both fantasized that we had been adopted.” p. 56

Again, a rupture with patriarchy and with abusive parents. We have surnames because there are too many humans on this planet to be able to identify them easily with just one name. Do we need those surnames to keep us sequestrated with our parents? Or could they just be changed to something like “of” followed by the name of the city we live in? Rejecting the surnames we get from birth is also a rejection of the obligatory love and respect we are supposed to feel for our parents, who can sometimes be undeserving of them.

“I didn’t change my name legally until 1978. I felt that it would be a paradox for me to petition a male court to change a name that patriarchal law had imposed on me in the first place. But after I had co-edited three anthologies as Karla Jay, only old friends, relatives, and old people at work new that I had any other name. I felt fragmented and decided to hire a lawyer to execute a legal name change.” p. 57

We live in a society, not in a vacuum. Sometimes we have to go through processes we find tasteless or distasteful, because we still need them to be understood, to be perceived by others around us. Here is information on the process in France (Site officiel de l’administration française).

“I have now spent a full three-fifths of my life as Karla Jay. In the rare instances when I run into someone from my childhood or high school who still calls me Karla Berlin, I have the distinct feeling that they have mistaken me for someone else.” p. 57

So who gets to do the naming? Are our names things that should be gifted from us by our parents? By our mothers only? Should every daughter get to name herself, when she feels or knows she has found a name for herself? When she has made name for herself?

#on names and naming #karla jay #tales of the lavender menace #personal commentary #women's liberation

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s-oulpunk · 4 years

Text

Paper Rings - Reddie

Summary: Eddie doesn’t look up from where he’s crouched on the ground. His fingertips are grazing over the wood and Richie doesn’t have to look to know what he’s tracing.

“We were supposed to get married.” He finally glances over his shoulder, sparing Richie a quick look. “Do you remember?”

Richie nods numbly. “Yeah. Yeah, I remember.”

TW: N/A

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“Eddie.” Richie swallows the lump in his throat before continuing, “What are you doing here?”

Eddie doesn’t look up from where he’s crouched on the ground. His fingertips are grazing over the wood and Richie doesn’t have to look to know what he’s tracing.

“We were supposed to get married.” He finally glances over his shoulder, sparing Richie a quick look. “Do you remember?”

Richie nods numbly. “Yeah. Yeah, I remember.”

For a moment it’s silent.

Eddie sits, admiring the carvings of a fourteen year old Richie Tozier. And Richie stands, admiring the dirty and exhausted appearance of a forty year old Eddie Kaspbrak.

It’s a little disgusting. He’s covered in blood and filth from the sewers, mud caking his skin and dirt shoved under his fingernails. Richie can still see the puddle of blood seeping through Eddie’s jacket, where Pennywise had nicked him. Richie hates to think about what might have happened if he hadn’t gotten him out of the way in time. So he doesn’t think about it.

All in all, he’s in bad shape. But it’s not like Richie’s any better off. The only thing in the world he wants is a shower.

Well, he thinks, smiling softly at the back of Eddie’s head, maybe there’s one other thing he wants more.

Because despite all the grime and dirt, Richie still thinks Eddie’s beautiful.

“We couldn’t even get married at the time,” Eddie says suddenly. “But you were so sure. I didn’t think we’d have a fighting chance but you were so sure. I remember you tying that fucking string around my finger and telling me-”

“Spaghetti, as soon as the courts realize how dumb that all is and decide to legalize us, I’m marching right down to town hall and marrying your ass,” Richie quotes. He lets out a quiet laugh. For a moment he feels brave enough to say more. The moment passes. “How could I forget?”

Eddie shakes his head. “I’ve been wondering the same thing. How could I - How could I forget this? How could I forget you?”

Richie feels as if his heart’s been cracked in two. “It’s not your fault, Eds. We all forgot.”

“It’s not the same,” Eddie says. “You didn’t get married.”

“Eds-”

“You proposed and then I went and married someone else. How shitty is that? That’s like the ultimate cheater move.”

“Eddie, what are you talking about? You forgot everything. How could you have known?”

Richie wants to tell him how ridiculous he’s being. He wants to fucking nail it into his head: You’re being stupid. None of this is your fault. You didn’t mean to.

But all he can do is repeat the same words over and over again.

You forgot, you forgot, you forgot.

“You know I didn’t date anyone for nearly five years after I moved away,” Eddie says. He finally stands. Finally turns to look at Richie for good. Unshed tears are sparkling in his eyes and Richie wants nothing more than to lurch forward and hold him till they go away. But he doesn’t move. He can’t. “Took three years to even think about dating someone else. My first year of college someone was flirting with me and I told them I was seeing someone. I didn’t think I was, I couldn’t - I couldn’t remember. But it just felt right to say. When I finally started going on dates again I kept comparing them to you. I didn’t know it, but I was. Of course I was. The only thing I could think about was if they could make me laugh.”

“I get it,” Richie says. And he wants to say more. He wants to tell him he was the same. That every date he went on was compared to Eddie. But his throat closes up and he doesn’t say anything.

“Then Myra came along,” Eddie continues. “And she was nice, we were friends. She was my first real friend since moving. The first person I felt like I could really talk to. But my mom got in my head, convinced me I was in love with her. It all just kind of spiraled from there.”

“Are you?” Richie asks before he can stop himself. “In love with her, I mean.”

Eddie lets out a bark of laughter. “Am I in love with her? Richie, I’m gay. You should know that better than anyone.”

Richie shuffles his feet awkwardly. “I dunno. I thought maybe you were bi.”

“No,” Eddie says, shaking his head. “I just moved and immediately tried to re-oppress all my emotions.”

Richie chuckles softly. “Yeah, I hear you.”

“Sucks, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah, really fucked me up.”

Eddie’s frown deepens. “I think I fucked everything up. Myra’s not gonna be happy, I forced her into a fake marriage. And you - we - it’s too late for us.”

Richie chances a step forward. “You didn’t fuck it up, Eddie. Myra’s gonna understand. You said you guys are friends, right?” Eddie nods, though he still looks miserable. “She won’t be mad. As for us,” Richie swallows down the bile rising in his throat. “I would still do it.”

Eddie looks dumbfounded, mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. “You would?”

A grin breaks out across Richie’s face and he rushes to close the gap between them. He grasps Eddie’s hands in his, pulling them up to hold against his chest. A wave of relief washes over him as soon as he does, as if he’s suddenly being reminded: Oh yeah, this is what I’ve been waiting for.

“Of course,” he says. “Of course I would.”

“You’ll have to get me a new ring,” Eddie says, a face-splitting grin on his face. “I lost the string one in a storm years ago.”

“I lost mine in an old apartment,” Richie admits. “I was devastated, even though I couldn’t remember why.”

Eddie giggles. “Can’t believe you forgot your own wedding.”

“Excuse you, I did not forget,” Richie says with a faux-horrified gasp. “Your mom looked very nice during our special day, by the way-”

“Shut up!” groans Eddie. “I cannot believe I agreed to deal with this again.”

“For the rest of your life, baby,” Richie beams, and he doesn’t miss the way Eddie’s cheeks turn pink at the nickname.

“We can’t just rush off to town hall though,” Eddie says, his voice serious again. “I’ll have to call Myra about getting a divorce.”

“Gives us time to plan,” Richie says. “Believe me, I am not wasting this on a town hall wedding. We’re gonna have the biggest, most obnoxious wedding of all time.”

Eddie laughs, the sound like music to Richie’s ears. “I don’t doubt that.”

And then Eddie’s kissing him.

It’s soft and sweet but also fast and needy, and it’s everything Richie’s been dreaming of since stepping foot in this hell of a town. It’s exactly like he remembers, Eddie’s arms around his neck and Richie’s hands on his hips.

“I love you,” Richie blurts, lips fumbling against Eddie’s.

His heart lurches to a stop in his chest. He hadn’t meant to say that. It’s too early. He can’t just say stuff like that-

“I love you too.”

Richie grins as he leans in for another kiss. He could get used to this for forever.

“I can’t believe you’re gonna be on the other side of the fucking country.”

Richie collapses on his bed, face buried in the mess of blankets.

“It’ll be okay,” Eddie says, gently carding his fingers through his boyfriend’s curls. “We’ll see each other during breaks. And we’ll write and call.”

“I know, but it’s not the same.”

“I know-”

“Your mom’s gonna miss me every night.”

“Fuck off!”

Richie cackles as Eddie shoves him off the bed.

“I changed my mind,” Eddie says. “I’m not gonna miss you.”

“Awe, c’mon Eds-”

“That is not my name.”

“I know you love it,” Richie grins as he clambers back onto the bed.

Eddie kisses him to avoid answering.

“You’re such an idiot,” he whispers. “I’m gonna miss you so much.”

“Not as much as I’m gonna miss you,” Richie says. He shuffles into a sitting position just so he can tug Eddie onto his lap. “Who am I gonna bother at school?”

“Everyone, I imagine.”

“Mhm, yeah, probably.”

Eddie kisses him softly. “You should just come to New York with me. We could get a shitty apartment. Maybe a dog.”

“That sounds nice,” Richie whispers. “But there’s no way we could afford it. Besides, your mom would murder me.”

Eddie huffs, his lower lip popping out in a little pout. It’s so cute that Richie can’t stop himself from swooping down and stealing a kiss.

“I can’t believe she’s following me all the way to New York,” Eddie groans. “Who does that?”

“People who know how cute you are, Eds,” Richie says, reaching up to pinch his cheek.

“Then why aren’t you following me?” Eddie says, a triumphant smirk on his face. “Huh? Does my own boyfriend hate my face that much?”

Richie just laughs, taking Eddie’s face between his hands and peppering kisses wherever he can reach. “I could never hate your face, Eds.” He kisses his nose softly. “I’m gonna miss this.”

“Me too,” murmurs Eddie. He worms his lower lip between his teeth, biting down hard enough to make him wince. “Rich? Do you really think this will work? I mean, what if one of us meets someone else? What if we can’t make it work? What if-”

“That won’t happen,” Richie insists, despite the fact that these same worries had plagued him during sleepless nights. “We’re gonna be alright, Eds.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. In fact-” Richie lifts Eddie off his lap, quickly scurrying to the other end of his room. For a moment he doesn’t say anything, just shuffles through a drawer that Eddie suspects has never once been cleaned. Then he turns around, a ball of string in one hand and scissors in the other. “In fact, I’ll make you a promise right now.”

He kneels next to the bed and snips off an end of the string. He takes Eddie’s hand gently between his own and wraps the string around his ring finger, just holding it in place.

“Eddie Kaspbrak, will you marry me?”

Eddie’s breath hitches. “What?”

“Do you want-”

“Yes,” Eddie nods furiously. “Yeah. Yes. Yes.”

Richie grins and quickly sets to work tying the string around Eddie’s finger.

“This isn’t even legal,” Eddie says breathlessly, but picks up another piece of string to tie around Richie’s finger anyway. “We can’t - You know we can’t - Not really -”

“Not right now, maybe,” Richie says. “But someday we can.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I do know that,” Richie says, a soft smile on his face. “Because the world can’t be blind to love forever.”

“It doesn’t feel that way,” whispers Eddie. “All the slurs, all the laws. It feels like the entire world is against us.”

“Well, Spaghetti, as soon as the courts realize how dumb that all is and decide to legalize us, I’m marching right down to town hall and marrying your ass,” Richie grins.

And Eddie grins right back at him. “I can’t wait.”

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gaylorswiftvibes · 4 years

Text

I am caffeinated and quarantined and ready to lay out all of my thoughts as to why Taylor has yet to come out, the obstacles that will have to be addressed before she comes out, and therefore create a timeline as to when she will come out and what that will look like. I don’t know about all of you, but I find myself constantly questioning why this is all happening. Why has Taylor not come out yet? Why does she purposefully leave so many clues if she doesn't want to come out yet? Does she enjoy making us feel insane like the sick masochist that she is? Why has it felt like she’s about to come out several times but then she backtracks? What’s complicating this process? How long will we have to wait? Over the years, Taylor has enjoyed watching other people attempt to piece together the story about her love life and understand who and what she writes about. However, when she comes out I do think she will want to set the record straight (ha) in as many ways as possible without damaging her reputation or the reputation of anyone with whom she has had any sort of relationship. However, before she can come out, she will need to be in an optimal situation with her masters, the best timing possible for maximum impact and best optics, and Karlie's reputation/life to not be destroyed in the process.

This MANIFESTO of a blog post does presume several things.

Taylor Swift and Karlie Kloss are both either bi or gay and both desire to come out publicly at some point.

They had a relationship.

They are likely still together. If not, they are still friends who care about the wellbeing of the other person and they are also in communication about koincidences.

If they are together, they purposefully made their relationship private to protect both of them (mainly Karlie) and have more control over their public narratives after kissgate and significant public speculation that their "friendship" was something more.

Karlie's relationship with JK is fake. Their marriage is not legal and there is likely a contract that provides prescriptive guidance for how she publicly portrays and discusses their relationship. This contract was likely made to provide Karlie with career opportunities and to provide JK with a beard- I do not believe that it is directly financial but it could be as well.

It’s clear that Taylor first started wanting to come out after she had already reached incredible success. It is unclear how this timeline occurred. Was she already out to herself and her family before her career even began? Did she originally intend to remain publicly closeted for her entire career? Did she go through a period of denial about her sexuality? I think the closest thing to answers we have to questions like these are clues within her music. I do believe her motifs of blue, darkness, shade, and secrecy mainly lead back to being closeted while her motifs of gold, sun, daylight, and public affection reference being out and proud. Interpret what you will from her writing and the timeline of her albums. To me, this does point to Taylor originally wanting to remain intensely closeted (hence beards and their massive publicity and the potential for some of those relationships to have been “real”, although this is a conversation for another day), later on wanting to remain quite secretive about her relationships with women, and most recently yearning to not be secretive any longer. It seems like her music points to wanting to come out- so why hasn’t it happened yet?

She knows that coming out is going to generate attention and sales. It would make the most sense that she wants to own her masters at the same time that she comes out. This is a major factor of why we're still waiting and will likely be waiting until the rerecordings come out or she makes a deal to get ownership of the masters. The clues along the way are a way to maintain some level of authenticity, to create buzz, and to create The Story that will undoubtedly one day be highly scrutinized and publicized. I do believe that The Story (as I will be referring to it) has been in the works for quite some time and that Taylor does plan to shed light on it at the time that she comes out. The Story will include as much truth as possible about her relationships. After Miss Americana came out and Lana Wilson insinuated that there is more of her story to tell, I do think it is possible that she will release another documentary alongside her coming out. However, this is pure speculation and an extremely biased view as I personally believe that would be very sexy and cool of her.

Part of this marketing scheme does come off as distasteful, but I do think it's less about her wanting more money and more about her wanting SB to not profit off of this or have any control or say in the message that she wants to communicate. Ultimately, a large piece of this unknown timeline will be revealed before or in November 2020. If they haven't made a deal for Taylor’s ownership by then, I assume she will publicly reveal if she is rerecording and potentially begin to promote her rerecordings. Worth noting, it is my belief that if there is follow through with the rerecordings that they will be copycat records intended to sound as identical as possible. I am hopeful for the "original" versions to come to light one day (I want her midnights and she never loved me deserve premium recordings), but I don't think it would make much financial sense to release these instead of the copycats (we can hope for alongside, but it doesn't seem too likely). At the end of the day, the masters situation will resolve one way or another by the rerecording date.

We should also generally be aware of timing. Taylor is going to want to create maximum distance between her and any direct negativity before she comes out along with any other major events (pandemics, elections, big news stories, etc.). This is definitely the point I will harp on the least, but something to keep in mind if something happens that harms her public image down the line (please god not again). I’ve considered that she may want to keep her coming out to “use” when she starts to get less popular or when society stops “tolerating her being successful”, but I don’t think that will happen anytime soon. I do believe that it will coincide with an album release just because that would be sickening.

This is not to say that once the optimal situation for her masters is obtained, Taylor has no other reason to not come out. It doesn't matter whether she and Karlie are currently still together, The Story includes Karlie in an undeniable way since it is clear that they were in a relationship for a few years at the minimum. I really don't think Taylor would want to come out without being able to address their relationship. However, the narrative would completely depend on if they are still together or not. If they are no longer together, that may be more incentive to consider a possibility of her coming out without addressing Karlie. Since I personally believe they are still together, I will be addressing the potential narratives for Karlie from that perspective.

One option to consider beforehand is the storyline that Karlie and Taylor were close friends but never together. They each have their own relationships that eventually end for unrelated reasons (meaning eventual JK divorce and oatmilk disappearance), then they rekindle their "friendship" and "start" a relationship around the time that Taylor comes out. I don't like this idea because it, in essence, defeats the purpose of The Story. If this is the time to come clean, be vulnerable, be honest, this is a significant lie to keep. And at the end of the day, the truth is in Taylor's discography. The albums point to a secret relationship, not just pining for a friend or whatever that storyline is.

The way I see it, once The Story is laid out, the two major narrative avenues are decided by claiming whether the Karlie JK relationship was real or not. If the choice is made to support its legitimacy, they could spin this relationship in a number of ways.

They could choose to portray it as on again off again. This would leave a partial timeline open for a relationship with Taylor. They could cite infinite believable reasons for the JK relationship being this way (K*shner/Tr*mp family issues, distance issues, typical relationship issues, etc.). This narrative allows Karlie to not be portrayed as a cheater, JK to not be portrayed as a horrible person that would put a vulnerable 19-year-old at the start of her career in a long-term bearding contract, allows JK’s sexuality to not be questioned, and allows their relationship’s authenticity to go unquestioned. I do think this is the most likely narrative if it is chosen to portray Karlie and JK’s relationship as legitimate even after it ends. After all, Karlie has already stated publicly that they have “been through a lot together” and that “it hasn’t been easy” and they met it 2012 when it was “a different world” (WWHL, January 2020). They could also take the tangential route that they were not exclusive at the beginning of their relationship, but I am not sure when it was definitively publicly confirmed that they were together; although it is confirmed that they met in 2012, they could emphasize that they were friends at first or not exclusive. They were interacting with each other online on a routine basis by 2013. This included them liking each other’s posts, posting pictures of one another, posting the same picture, or posting in the same location (many of these have been proven to be latergrams and don’t seem like natural relationship posting, but that’s beside the point). In June 2015, Karlie posted a photo of them together with a caption wishing him a happy birthday and thanking him for “three years of love and laughs”. However, there was still speculation in the comments at the time over whether they were a couple or close friends. Their engagement was announced in 2018, so there is potential to create a storyline in which JK and Karlie were just friends since 2012, Taylor and Karlie dated, then JK and Karlie dated and married, JK and Karlie divorced, and then Taylor and Karlie got back together. I don’t think this is likely but I think it is worth considering since in hindsight the announcement of their relationship seems to have been kept purposefully vague, specifically when it comes to timeline. Maybe that was intended to keep their maximum options open when considering their likely eventual separation narrative.

They could choose to portray Karlie as someone who cheated on her relationship with JK with Taylor. I do not think this is a likely option as it would damage Karlie’s reputation, although they could attempt to make a sympathetic appeal. Karlie has been "with" JK since she was 19, and I don't think they would purposefully promote the narrative that she cheated on the man that she later married. As I am racking my brain for all possible options, I suppose they could make an appeal that they had an open or polyamorous relationship, but that would be low-key insane considering their largely girl-next-door personas. But hey, you cannot say that I am not thorough and thinking outside the bun.

They could choose the narrative that their relationship was partially authentic and partially inauthentic. They could use the storyline that they “fell out of love” (ha) but chose to remain close friends and not go public with their break up. This is highly unlikely because their “marriage” occurred after her and Taylor were so publicly close. There is also no clear motive for doing this other than bearding so it does call into question JK’s sexuality.

They could also choose to reveal the JK Karlie relationship as fake. However, this would put JK in a difficult position and it’s almost unimaginable that he would be okay with it. I think there is an extremely unlikely possibility that he would want to publicly come out and create some sort of best-friends-mutually-bearding-without-any-contract-narrative.

So, what are the other options? Well, she could tell (what I believe to be) the truth. She signed a contract in order to boost her modeling career, her marriage wasn't legally legitimate, and they never had an actual relationship. It certainly makes her choices and The Story make sense, but it would have endless ramifications. We have no way of knowing what the contract terms look like. It makes JK look like a terrible person, it puts his sexuality into question, and it makes Karlie look inauthentic (even though she has done a great job of mostly separating him from her public persona). I would genuinely not want to make an enemy out of a Kushner for fear of the safety of myself and my loved ones. It's a scary thing to make an enemy of someone who has so much power that they are virtually above the law. However, if there's anything we learned from the sale of the masters or the call, it's that publicity and public perception changes the options that are on the table. If Karlie and Taylor come out with the full (what I believe to be) truth, the world might see them in the way that most of us see them. Karlie was young, and was taken advantage of, and trapped into something she did not want. They were both struggling with and deciding if/how/when to come out publicly. Taylor was dealing with intense public scrutiny and the sale of her masters. They had no options to be honest about their relationship publicly. This option makes everything known, including their fear of the revenge JK and others might take against them, financially or otherwise. This results in anything they do in revenge receiving public backlash. If we're being honest here, this is my favorite narrative option purely because it's not a narrative; it's the truth. At the end of the day, we all love Taylor and her music and therefore want to know her and understand her on a deeper level. We all want the BRILLIANCE of her closeted writing to be properly admired for what it is. I think we all also want Taylor to feel loved and understood for who she truly is and what she's truly been through. Part of this is going to happen through being as honest as possible.

There is also the issue of oatmilk. Since she has literally never confirmed that they are actually dating (other than the sarcastic “she asked my boyfriend”, and the NME kiss (?)), she could take the route that they were always just friends. From this, should could take credit for the purposeful bearding, say that she just let it happen and let the media interpret their friendship that way and it didn’t bother her, or blame the media for spreading misinformation (which would be annoying because she clearly encouraged it). She could also break them up and legitimize their relationship, but that obviously takes away from the authenticity of her music and story. Either way, I feel like getting rid of oatmilk will be the easiest part of this process.

IN CONCLUSION, there are still many important issues to consider when we wonder why Taylor hasn’t come out yet and we shouldn’t use our impatience as reasoning to say that she is not gay. I believe that all of these issues would have to align or resolve in some way before she comes out. With any luck, it will be with TS8. However, the major wild card to consider is Karlie’s relationship with JK. We truly have no idea what this contract looks like, especially after the predicted end date last year was acknowledged by Karlie (instagram freedom post, seven long years tweet) and then still continued. We can hope that the public separation has been outlined in her renewal or that she would be safe in an exposé process, but nothing is certain. Ultimately, we all want the both of them to be happy and feel loved and appreciated for who they truly are, and to have control over the narrative they want.

Fuckin hell this is way too long but feel free to DM me with any questions because I clearly have too much time on my hands!! Peace and blessings

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