#expecting i like myself bc i know myself so i don’t like strangers | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jenosbigtoe · 6 months

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na jaemin x catgirl!reader (M)

minors dni

summary: jaemin finds a stray catgirl and takes her under his wing.

warnings: hybrid au. lots of fluff :3, bratty!reader, dom!jaemin, big dick nana, loss of virginity, breeding, creampie, unprotected sex, mild squirting, kitty eating (lmao), fingering, fellatio, praise kink

word count: 6.0k

a/n: jaemin is the biggest cat person i know (besides me duh) so why wouldn’t i write a fic about him being down bad for his lil catgirl?

jesus fuck this was long and took forever 😪 sorry it's posted later than promised but at least it's longer than my last two fics combined! lmk if you want to see more of jaem and his catgirl bc im really liking this au

“fuck this shit man.” jaemin was so sick of his boring ass 9-5 office job. every single day he deals with incompetent coworkers (how did they even graduate high school), entitled clients, and a shitty boss that wanted to put all the work on him because he knew jaemin was a good employee.

jaemin took out a pack of newports and lit a cigarette, leaning his head back against the alleyway wall and sighing in frustration. the cold winter air bit at his nose but he didn’t care. this was his one time to really relax right after work. as he was taking a long drag, a rustle from the dark alley caught his attention.

he paused. “who’s there?” jaemin squinted his eyes against the pitch black darkness. this was a shady part of town and jaemin knew better than to be hiding out in the back alleyway of a sketchy convenience store but he also had a reputation to hold up. couldn’t have anyone from his work or person life finding out the social butterfly nana was a chainsmoker and hated his life.

against his better judgement, he put out the lit cigarette and moved closer to the rustling noise. turning his phone flashlight on, he didn’t know what he’d expect to see. maybe a raccoon or a stray dog.

he certainly didn’t expect to see the sweetest little thing hiding and shivering under a dirty cardboard box. there you were, hair matted, skin covered in grime, thin clothes in tatters, brown ears pressed flat against your head. and despite your disheveled appearance, jaemin thought you were just the cutest thing he’s ever seen. as his phone flash shined directly on you, you jumped in fright, body immediately tensing up in alarm. you bared your teeth at him and hissed, claws extended.

“woah hey i’m not gonna hurt you,” jaemin back away slowly, putting his hands up.

“fuck off,” you gritted at him, sharp teeth still showing.

“what are you doing out here like this? it’s freezing and you don’t have any clothes. where’s your owner?” jaemin crouched to the ground, trying to inch closer to you but you tucked yourself smaller into the corner.

“don’t have an owner. don’t need one. m perfectly fine by myself. now leave me alone, human,” you growled at him.

jaemin attempted to reach a hand out to you but you swatted at him and hissed, leaving a small gash on his hand.

“do you have a name, kitty?” jaemin asked softly.

you continued to glare at him. “leave me alone.”

jaemin knew it would be really difficult to get you to open up but he had such a soft spot for animals, especially strays. and he couldn’t just leave you alone looking like this in the winter cold.

“kitty, it’s way too cold out for you to be here without any proper clothes.” jaemin stated. “my name is na jaemin and i only want to help you, okay?”

your body was still tensed in suspension of this stranger but as he continued to get closer to you, you got a whiff of his scent. nose scrunched up cutely, you sniffed up at the air, needing more of that delicious scent. god he smelled so so good. despite the bitter cold of the winter air, the scent of this stranger left your body feeling warm and fuzzy inside, slowly melting your tough exterior. but he was still a stranger, one you had no idea the intentions of, and you didn’t want to take any risks.

“stop patronizing me and just leave me alone, stupid human.” the longer you were around him, the less alarmed your body felt, but you still kept your guard up around this delicious smelling stranger. and jaemin didn’t miss how your body language slowly got less tense the longer you were around him.

jaemin got up slowly, deep in thought. “i’ll be right back, kitty.”

he disappeared around the corner of the alley again, leaving you feeling slightly empty. stupid, you thought. he’s just a stranger. of course he’d leave like everyone else. you knew that rationally but your body was acting so weird around this stranger.

you continued to sit there, huddled beneath the cardboard and desperately seeking warm, when the stranger came back, this time with a steaming cup and a hotdog.

“here, baby,” jaemin cooed at you, handing you the cup of hot chocolate and hotdog. for some reason, your belly felt so warm at his calling you baby. “you must be so hungry.”

you eyed the food suspiciously. “why are you being so nice to me, human? you don’t even know me. you don’t even know my name.”

“doesn’t matter to me. nobody, hybrid or human or animal, deserves to be shivering in the winter cold like this,” jaemin stated with a serious look on his face.

you cautiously grabbed the food and drink from his hand before scarfing down the hotdog in record time and chugging the hot chocolate, some cutely dripping down your chin. your brown ears twitched in happiness. god jaemin thought you were just the cutest thing.

“y/n. it’s y/n,” you mumbled at him. “thank you for the food.”

“y/n, such a cute name for the cutest kitty,” jaemin smiled brightly.

he reached one hand out slowly to brush your hair out of your face. you just about jumped at the contact, but as he scratched that sweet spot behind your ears, your tail swished in happiness and you started to pur in delight. you closed your eyes in bliss and leaned slightly into the contact.

“good girl. such a sweet girl. i know you were so frightened, all alone in this winter cold. but nana’s got you now, m’kay?” jaemin cooed at you.

your body and brain were melting. his touch felt so so good, it’s been so long since you’ve been pet like this. and his smell, god you’ve never smelled anything so delicious before.

“y/n, i know we just met and i know you must so scared right now. but i can’t just leave you like this in the cold. please, let me just take you back to my apartment and you can stay there for a couple nights. i have an extra room so don’t worry about needing to sleep with me. i’ll give you a fresh set of clothes and feed you while you’re there. but i can’t just leave you here in good faith.” jaemin gave you a sincere look, practically pleading for you to come back with him.

your tail stop swishing and you scrunched your little nose in heavy thought. on one hand, you knew next to nothing about this man and he wanted you to stay at his place? but a warm bed and a fresh set of clothes and hot meals sounded so so good… and how much harm could this good smelling stranger even do to you… the rational part of your brain was telling you no, this stranger couldn’t be trusted. who knows what he’d do to you once you were in his territory? but your body was saying otherwise, he made you feel so good inside and he could take care of you even for just a few days.

you gave a long hard stare before replying. “okay. just for a little bit,” you whispered softly, still scared out of your mind.

jaemin used his beefy arms to support your weight as he helped you stand up on shaky legs. he wrapped his winter coat around your shivering body, cooing sweet reassuring words into your ear. his scent was absolutely intoxicating to you, leaving your mind fuzzy and full of him.

as soon as you stepped into his apartment, you were greeted with three balls of white fur bombarding your legs. one licked and nibbled on your toes, another purred and rubbed itself against your legs, and the other circled around your legs, tail swishing happily. you squealed at the sight, such cute kitties!

“ah ah lucy, luke, and luna, let’s not scare our guest, okay babies?” he spoke to them in such a gentle tone, it had your heart melting.

“n-no, s’okay, nana. i love kittens,” you reached down to pet them and give them chin rubs. all three kittens cuddled close to your body and let out loud purs. jaemin’s heart fluttered at your usage of his nickname.

“what are their names?” you asked.

“this one is lucy, this one is luke, and this one is luna. i got them a few months ago. i didn’t want to separate these three siblings so i just adopted all three. aren’t they just the sweetest things?”

you nodded, letting out purs alongside the kittens. you would never tell him this now but you also thought jaemin was so sweet.

he crouched down to pet the kitties alongside you. “they must really like you. they’re not usually this sweet and welcoming to guests. guess they recognize a kitten just as cute as them too.”

you pretended to not notice his last comment but your red face and happily swishing tail gave away your happiness.

“y/n, let’s get you into the bath and some clean clothes, hm? i know you must be dying to get this grime off you,” jaemin gently whispered, still petting the three purring kitties on the floor alongside you.

you paused, ears twitching. “bath?”

“yeah, a bath,” jaemin replied, looking up at you to gauge how you felt. your nose was scrunched up cutely in disgust at the mere idea of a bath.

“don’t need one. can lick myself clean,” you grumbled, pouting slightly.

you stopped petting the kitties, who seemed very displeased at the lack of attention you were giving them, and finally took a look around his apartment. the unfamiliar environment made you slightly uneasy but somehow you knew you were going to be safe. everything just smelled so strongly of him, it made your head dizzy and belly warm.

“kitty, you need to take a bath. i’m sorry if it makes you uncomfortable now but you will feel so much better after,” jaemin gently reassured you.

you shook your head, cheeks puffed and ears pinned back. “no. don’t want.”

jaemin sighed, rising to his feet. “c’mon baby. let me run a warm bath for you. i promise it will feel so good.”

he tried taking your hand but you hissed and swatted at him. “no. away.” you backed yourself into a corner.

jaemin gave you a defeated look before disappearing around a corner. you sat back down to cuddle and play with the kittens.

jaemin came back to see you playing with the kittens so happily. it seemed they really helped make you feel comfortable in this foreign environment and his cats liked you so much already.

“kitty, come with me,” he prodded at your arm.

you narrowed your eyes at him suspiciously. “where are you taking me?”

“you’ll see.” jaemin decided to take it upon himself to carry you in his arms bridal style. his strength had you flinging around like a ragdoll, making you very angry.

you started clawing and biting at his arms, kicking your legs and screaming wildly. “let me go! let me go! hey!”

he brought you into a steamy bathroom and sat you on the ledge of the bubbly bathtub. he used his strength to pin your hips in place as he kneeled and situated himself between your legs.

“baby, i know you don’t want to take a bath but you need to wash this dirt off yourself. just listen to nana, hm?” he stared deep into your eyes with a serious look on his face, causing you to shift around in unease.

you broke eye contact and looked away, pouting deeply. “fine. you’ve literally given me no choice anyway. i’ll get in the stupid bath.”

you practically ripped your tattered clothes off your body and jumped straight into the water, splashing water and bubbles every where. you thrashed around wildly in the water, slipping and sliding all over the place. god, how long ago was it since you’ve had a bath like this?

jaemin reached into the water and held you firmly upright, using his thumb to rub you reassuringly. “woah, kitty. be careful, it’s dangerous to be so careless in the water. you can hurt yourself.”

“too long since i’ve had a bath like this,” you moaned, slipping under the water til your nose was just sticking out.

jaemin rolled up his sleeves and started rinsing your hair, massaging circles of shampoo into your scalp. you purred contentedly, tail swishing and splashing in the water.

“such a good kitty, doing so good for nana,” he murmured lowly as he washed and rinsed your hair and body affectionately.

you stayed in the tub, splashing around happily, until the warm water began to run cold. jaemin allowed you to step out before drying your body with a fluffy white towel. he dressed you in a pair of his grey sweatpants and a fuzzy black hoodie that smelled oh so deliciously of him. you inhaled the neckline of the hoodie deeply, his smell making your limbs dizzy and head fuzzy.

“all better now, kitty?” he smiled teasingly at you.

you gave a sheepish smile back. “thank you, nana.”

“it’s getting late, baby. let me get you a little snack. stay here on the couch,” he gave you a small peck to your head and walked to the kitchen.

his kittens strutted up to you, meowing and begging to be held. you grabbed all three in your arms and snuggled them close to your chest, pressing kisses to their fluffy fur.

jaemin walked into the living room, holding a glass of warm milk and a plate of cookies, to see you with his babies. his heart fluttered at the sight, so freaking adorable.

“this is for you, y/n,” he walked over and handed you the milk and cookies.

you smiled appreciatively at him before furrowing your eyebrows cutely. “why are you being so kind to me? we just met a few hours ago.”

jaemin shrugged his shoulders and sat next to you, grabbing lucy into his lap and stroking her fur. “i’ve always been a cat person, as you can see.”

you munched on the cookies happily and let the kittens snuggle up to you. luke and lucy fell asleep on your lap, purring contentedly. you let out a soft yawn and fluttered your eyelids. jaemin chuckled. you were just so stinking cute.

“getting sleepy, baby? i’ll take you to the guess bedroom,” he grabbed your arm, sleepy kittens still in hand, before leading you to the room right across from his bedroom.

“can i sleep with the kittens tonight?” you whispered softly.

“of course, baby,” he replied.

before he could turn to walk back to his room, you grabbed his sleeve and gave a quick peck to his cheek before scurrying to hide underneath the covers. your face was hot and red.

so freaking cute, jaemin though to himself, grinning widely.

it was the middle of the night. you didn’t even know what time it was but you couldn’t fall asleep. your mind was running a million thoughts all at once. what were you going to do when jaemin eventually got tired of you freeloading and kicked you out? how were you supposed to live back on the street now that you know what kindness feels like? you liked jaemin so much you didn’t want to leave him.

before you could think it over, you slowly got out of bed and knocked on jaemin’s door. a sleepy jaemin with a raspy voice and half-lidded eyes opened the door.

“yes, baby?” his sleepy voice was so sexy to you.

you stared hard at the ground. “m sorry for waking you, nana. i couldn’t sleep. would it be okay if i slept in here? just for tonight. you smell so good and comforting i thought maybe-“

he stopped you, lifting your chin to look you deep in your eyes. “kitty, don’t be so nervous around me. of course you can sleep in my bed, c’mon.”

he beckoned you over and lifted the comforter up, allowing you to slip in under the covers. he tried to lay a respectable foot away from you but you started whining and pawing at his arms to come closer. he scooted an inch closer but you grabbed his arms and wrapped them around you, snuggling your face into his thick chest and purring happily. your ears twitched cutely and tickled his face. jaemin was shocked at your boldness but molded his body to yours and cuddled you tightly.

“much better,” you sighed happily. you inhaled deeply, his smell flooding your senses. he was so warm and so comfy, you were in heaven. who would've guessed you'd be in this position when you were just swatting and hissing at him earlier in the night?

you fell asleep quickly, letting out soft sighs as you snoozed away. but now jaemin couldn’t fall back asleep. how could he? he had the sweetest little catgirl snuggling so cutely in his arms. he felt so guilty for it but he could feel his erection growing. he cursed at himself. stop being such a horny fuck. she may be cute but she trusts you to not be a freak around her, he thought.

somehow, jaemin ended up falling asleep and he woke up to you staring up at his sleeping face. your wide doe eyes were so cute just watching him adorably, he could wake up like this every day.

“morning, nana,” you whispered softly. during the night, your legs got tangled with his as you rest your hands on his chest. you could feel how thick and built he was underneath the thin material of his shirt, making your rub your thighs together unintentionally.

“good morning, baby. did you sleep well?” his deep morning voice sent shivers down your spine. his half lidded eyes and sleepy smile made him look so sexy.

you gave him a toothy smile, ears twitching and tail slapping against the bed. “yes i did. best sleep in a long time.”

he gave you a deep kiss to the top of your head, inhaling against your scalp. now that you’ve had a bath, you smelled so sweet and soft and milky. “glad to hear that. let me make breakfast before i have to leave for work.”

he slowly got up from underneath the covers, making you whine and reach for his arms to cuddle you once more.

“baby, i need to make you breakfast. can’t have my sweet kitty starve, now can i? look lucy, luna, and luke are here and they look like they want cuddles too.” he gave you a wink as the three kittens jumped on the bed and walked over to you.

jaemin returned with a plate of fresh fruit, eggs, pancakes, and some bacon. your ears perked up and you sniffed the air excitedly.

jaemin chuckled at your excitement. “hungry are we, kitty?”

you nodded excitedly. “i love pancakes. it’s been so long since i’ve had them.”

you scarfed down the breakfast jaemin made for you. bits of egg gathered at the corner of your mouth and jaemin wiped them away for you.

shyly, you told him, “thank you. for the breakfast and for everything, nana. i’ve never been treated this kindly before.”

jaemin scooted closer to you and wrapped his arm around you, giving you a sweet peck on the cheek. “anything for my kitty.”

he checked his watch and jumped up suddenly. “shit! i’m gonna be late for work.” he rushed into his closet to grab clothes to change into.

you sat on the bed as he stripped to his underwear and put on black slacks and a white button-down. you blushed at the sight of his bare body, thinking he was so sexy but you’d die before telling him that.

rushing to put his shoes on, he gave you one final kiss on the cheek before heading out the door. “i’ll be back tonight for dinner, okay kitty? i’ll leave a 50 on the counter so you can buy whatever you want for yourself. see you this evening, baby.”

your heart sunk. you didn’t want him to leave you again. not when you just met. you knew he was going to come back home (he had to) but that didn’t fill the empty hole in your heart. your eyes welled up with a few tears before you wiped them away with your sleeve. jaemin has been so kind to you so it was time for you to stop looking like a bum and fix yourself up cutely for him.

later that evening, jaemin returned home to not just 3 kitties running up to him to give him some love but also you rushing up to give him a big bear hug. your little body crushing him with a tight squeeze as you nuzzled your face in his chest made his heart melt. he felt you purring against his chest as his arms wrapped around your body.

“missed me, huh kitty?” he teased.

you loosened your grip to look into his eyes. “yes i did,” you pouted seriously.

“i missed you too, baby. let me take these work clothes off so i can make dinner for you,” he replied, giving your head a sweet kiss and inhaling your milky scent.

you reluctantly let go as jaemin’s eyes widened at the sight. you were wearing the cutest little outfit he had no idea where you got it from. a short white mini skirt with a tight lacy pink crop top that showed off your plump tits that were practically spilling out of your shirt. you even had baby pink thigh highs with little bows on them.

“like it?” you smiled up at him, giving a little swirl. he caught sight of little white panties underneath your skirt.

jaemin was breathless. “where did you get this little outfit, baby?”

you smiled even wider. “used the money you left me to go shopping for this. i told the lady to help me find something to impress you and she showed me this.”

jaemin eyed your body hungrily, making you squirm and rub your thighs together. “so, nana? do you like it?”

jaemin gave you a tight hug, pressing his body against yours. you could feel his bulge against your pelvis, making your panties so wet. “i love it, baby. you’re so cute.”

your tail swished happily as you purred against him. “yayyy,” you said excitedly.

“baby, let me go make dinner for us, kay? just wait for me and we can cuddle after.” he hummed against your head.

for dinner, you sat in his lap on the couch, eating your steaming bowls of soup and happily cuddling with the three kitties. your little skirt rode up your thighs, causing your panties to peak out. you wiggled your ass around on jaemin’s lap, sighing contentedly as jaemin shifted around so you wouldn’t feel his hardening bulge.

“thank you again, nana. i appreciate everything you’ve done for me,” you purred.

jaemin gave you a wink. “of course, my baby. you can stay with me for as long as you need. i’m not just gonna throw you out.”

you sat up excitedly, tail swishing, as you turned to face him. “really? you really mean it?”

jaemin nodded. “of course. stay with me as long as you need. my home is always open to you.”

you set your bowl down and gave him a tight hug. “yay yay yayy!! thank you, nana!”

you leaned back to look him in his eyes when you slowly looked down to stare at his lips. slowly, you inched forward and planted a sweet kiss on his lips, sucking and licking gently. jaemin was shocked at your boldness but reciprocated your kiss with a renewed fervor. you wrapped your arms around his neck and sat there on his lap as you made out with him intensely.

“fuck, baby,” he groaned against your lips, rubbing circles on your back and lightly bucking his hips against yours. you let out soft whimpers and moans.

you pulled away from him and rested your foregead against his to gaze deep into his eyes. you looked so fucking hot in that moment jaemin was about to lose it. puffy lips, wild hair, lidded eyes staring at him seductively, ears twitching so cutely. you stared at each other, air tingling with tension and need.

jaemin broke the silence. “baby, i don’t have work tomorrow. let’s go shopping and buy you some cute clothes to wear, kay?”

you nodded and sunk your face into his neck, sniffing at his sexy scent. “yes, i would like that a lot, nana.”

for the next few weeks, you would drive jaemin crazy. always prancing around wearing the cutest little outfits that would leave nothing to the imagination. snuggling and cuddling him so cutely whenever he had the tiniest bit of freetime to lounge around. sleeping in his bed and tangled up in his arms while rubbing yourself against his body. kissing him and making out with him at every possible moment but never going further than that. you were so so clingy with him, always whining and pouting when he had to go anywhere without you. and when he got back, you’d cling to him like a little koala. you were just his sweetest, cutest little kitten and he wanted to gobble you up.

“nana, don’t leave me. how long will you be gone this time?” you pouted and pawed at his chest, pressing your body against his.

“baby,” he sighed. “i need to go drop this off at the post office. i’ll be back in 20 minutes, okay? then i’ll give you your cuddles.”

you sniffled. “meanie.”

when he came back as promised, 19 minutes later, you ran and jumped up into his arms. “you came back, nana! missed you so much.” you pressed a sweet kiss against his lips.

“you’re so precious, kitty. my sweet kitty always so good to nana,” he hummed against your lips.

you pulled away. “nana, i have a problem.”

jaemin started to press soft kisses up and down your jawline. “hm?”

“i’ve been feeling weird lately. i don’t know how to explain it.”

he paused, eyebrows furrowed in concern. “what do you mean, baby?”

“everytime you touch me like that, i get all tingly.” you pointed to your privates. “i get all warm and hot down there. and my panties get a little wet. is there something wrong with me?”

jaemin’s jaw dropped in realization. oh. oh.

“oh, baby. uh,” he started, setting you down on the ground gently. “how do i explain this?”

you tilted your head expectantly at him.

“it means you need me.” he said simply.

you looked confused. “need you? of course i need you. you’re my nana and i’m your kitty.”

“no baby. it means you need me to touch you right there.”

you had a look of realization on your face. “oh.”

“baby, i can help you. i can make you feel really good. but only if you tell me, okay? i won’t do anything you don’t want.” he said slowly, gauging your reaction.

you had a sure look on your face. “nana, i trust you. please touch me.”

jaemin growled and smashed his lips against yours, gripping your ass with one hand and running his hand through your hair in another. you purred needily, rubbing your legs together and feeling that warmth between your legs again.

“baby, can i take this to the bedroom?” he sighed breathlessly against your lips.

you nodded excitedly and chased his lips with yours once more. he hoisted you up by your waist and wrapped your legs around his waist. you lightly grinded against his abdomen, causing him to groan and curse against your lips.

he threw you onto the bed, knocking you breathless, and climbed on top of you to kiss you deeply once more. you whined and bucked your hips up against him in need.

“need more, nana,” you whimpered.

“m getting there, baby,” he said as he started to take your skirt, top, bra, and finally panties off your body, never disconnecting his lips from yours.

he reached his hand down to lightly tease your leaking pussy. you felt so warm and hot down there, you needed more. “more! more!” you cried out.

he took one finger and lightly went around your sopping hole. “fuck, this pussy is so wet for me, huh? you have no idea how long i’ve wanted this. the perfect kitty.”

he plunged one finger in, which had you whining and bucking against his hand. as he pumped his finger in and out of your drooling cunt, he slowly added another finger, then another. he alternated between pumping your cunt and taking his fingers out to play with your clit.

you moaned and cried out. “fuck yes! yes, more, please oh god more!”

he planted a deep kiss on your lips. “my kitty is doing so good for me.”

suddenly, he ripped his hand from your cunt, which had you whining and pouting. then he crawled down to face your beautiful pussy. you were so wet and leaky, all for him. he groaned and shoved his face right into your cunt, tonguing at your hole before licking a strip up to your clit. you screamed and cried out, gripping at his hair and shoving his face further into your crying pussy. he started sucking and licking at your clit before shoving three of his fingers back into your hole, pumping up and hitting your G-spot. tears rolled down your face from all the pleasure.

you felt your core get tight. “nana! nana! feel funny down there… my pussy keeps leaking more!” you cried out.

he looked up from your cunt. he looked so fucking sexy, eyes lidded and face dripping with your arousal. “baby, don’t worry. just relax and feel good, kay?”

he dove back into fingering your dripping cunt and sucking and licking at your clit when you felt a wave of pleasure burst from your core. your cunt squirted out wetness as you screamed in pleasure.

“oh god! nanaaa!!” you sobbed, covering your face with your arm from the intense pleasure.

he grinned, licking his lips and fingers clean, and gently pulled your arm from your face. “let look at you, gorgeous. that felt good, right?”

you nodded vigorously. “nana, need more. felt so good.”

you pulled at his belt loop and started unbuckling his jeans. he let you pull his pants down as he took his shirt off, exposing his sexy toned body. you were drooling at the sight.

“nana, you are so sexy,” you whispered, staring directly at his chiseled abs.

he winked at you before finally pulling his boxers down and letting his rock hard cock spring free. your eyes got as wide as saucers. he was massive. so red and veiny, thick from base to tip, and a slight curve upwards. a bead of pearly white liquid gathered at the tip. his balls looked so big and heavy too. your mouth watered.

“wow,” you whispered to yourself.

jaemin smirked, giving himself a few pumps. “like it, baby?”

you nodded slowly. “i’ve never done this before. can i put it in my mouth?”

jaemin groaned. “fuck baby, you’re gonna be the death of me. so cute and so fucking hot.”

you leaned down and started licking the shaft, started at the base. you sucked his balls softly, letting the weight of them rest on your tongue as you moaned softly.

“just like that baby, fuck. sure you’ve never done this before?” he groaned and snaked his hands into gripping your hair.

you shook your head before licking his cock from base to tip. you gave his cock a small kiss and gulped. how were you going to fit this in your mouth. he was huge. slowly, you sucked on the tip before taking more and more into your mouth. you bobbed your head up and down on his cock as jaemin let out the sexiest groans. you let your tongue lick at the veins on the underside of his cock as you went faster and faster.

“oh, baby. fuck, you suck dick like a pro,” he moaned out. “you’re so gorgeous and perfect, you know that? i love you, my sweet kitty.”

all of sudden, you bottomed out on his cock, sticking it all in your mouth at once. you gave a few licks to his balls.

“oh fuck, fuck, fuck, m gonna cum,” jaemin cursed.

he ripped your head off his cock with a lewd pop. leaving you whining and chasing his cock for more. he threw you back against the bed and pinned you down, cock bouncing angrily against his stomach. you rubbed your legs together as your pussy leaked and drooled in need.

“as good as you suck dick, baby, i need to finish inside you,” he growled, giving you a deep kiss.

he reached into his nightstand to pull out a condom.

“what’s that?” you asked, furrowing your eyebrows and tilting your head.

he ripped the packet open and started rolling it on his cock. “it’s called a condom, baby. you put it on before having sex to prevent pregnancy.”

you shook your head slowly. “do you have to wear it? don’t want you to. wanna feel your cock in my pussy raw.”

jaemin paused. “you sure, baby?”

you nodded. “very sure.”

he groaned and cursed to himself. something about “fuck, she’s so sexy and she doesn’t even know it.” he ripped the condom off and threw it off the bed somewhere. then he climbed back on top of you and propped your legs up against his shoulders and lined his cock with your entrance. he gave himself a few punps and teased your soaking hole with the tip of his leaking cock. “ready, baby?”

you nodded vigorously and whined, bucking your hips up to meet his cock. he bottomed out inside you with one thrust, causing you to scream out.

“oh, nana! fuck!” you cried deliciously. your ears twitched so cutely it had jaemin wanting to pound you hard and fast immediately.

he paused his hips to let you against to his size. “are you okay, baby?”

you kissed him. “if you don’t move i might lose my mind.”

with that, he pounded your little pussy with his big cock hard and deep. you cried and screamed at the intense pleasure, claws scratching at his back. the lewd sounds of his balls slapping against your ass had you leaking all around. you squirmed and wriggled underneath him, causing him to use his strength to pin your hips to the mattress.

“fuck baby, you feel so good. real thing is much better than what i’ve imagined,” he growled against your neck.

“oh jaemin,” you called out.

his hips went faster and harder. “say it again. say my name, baby.”

“j-jaemin,” you cried. “jaemin jaemin jaemin! yes oh fuck yes!” in the deep mating press he had you in, you felt the tip of his cock kiss your cervix sweetly.

“oh baby, i love you so much. love my sweet kitty so much. so precious and so sweet to me.” he groaned into your neck.

you were losing your mind in pleasure. “oh jaemin, gonna cum again. more please more!!”

his hips rutted into you impossibly fast, god you were losing your mind. you felt your core tighten and burst with pleasure once again, waves of orgasm washing over your body. your pussy squirted all over his abdomen and spasmed around his cock. his hips continued to fuck you through your orgasm, leaving you feeling overstimulated with pleasure. fat tears rolled down your face as you sobbed and clawed at jaemin’s back.

“m gonna cum too baby,” he gave you a sweet kiss on your lips. “doing so good for me. so good for nana.”

with a final deep thrust, he bottomed out inside your pussy and let out hot white spurts of cum, so much that some dripped and leaked out even as he was still balls deep inside. he collapsed on top of you with a groan, inhaling your hair deeply. you laid there panting and covered in sweat.

“love you, kitty,” he whispered softly into your ear.

“love you too, nana.”

#nct dream smut #nct dream x reader #nct smut #nct x reader #nct dream #na jaemin x reader #jaemin x reader #na jaemin #jaemin smut #jaemin #nct #jaemin fluff

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ponderingmoonlight · 6 months

Note

Heyyy, i love ur jjk fics so when u posted abt writing for aot i SCREAMED bc ik you'll do it justice 😩❤❤

Do u reckon u could do like a levi post rumbling fic bc i need the confort rn and SO DOES HE I NEED HAPPY LEVI PLSS ❤❤❤🙏🙏🙏

When I tell you I had to write this IMMEDIATELY <3 Please let me know if you like it, this is my first AOT fic EVER

Levi finally getting his happy end with (y/n) after the rumbling

Pairing: Levi Ackerman x fem!reader

Word Count: 2k

Synopsis: When he met you after first stepping a foot at Marley, Levi didn't forget you until the very end. But while he thought you died through the rumbling, he meets you again for his happy end.

Warnings: this is the comfort I needed, I actually had to cry while writing this, not proofread because I wanted to publish this asap

Tags: @sanicsmut begging on my knees, please I hope you like this

You’ve been on his mind ever since he met you on that fateful day at Marley. So gorgeous that he couldn’t take his eyes off you, a smile so sweet it could melt even metal. Yes, you were so different from what he expected to find across that ocean, a truly pleasant surprise to say the least.

“Oh, you are quite small for a grown man!” you commented, giggling so effortlessly that Levi wasn’t able to even react to your rude comment.

“But to be honest, I’m a little small myself. Well, not all of us can be tall, right? Where are you from, stranger?”

“None of your business.”

His voice sounded harsher that anticipated, making your joyful face drop in an instant. Why…Why the hell did it even bother him to see you like that, that sad glow that formed in your eyes?

“I’m not from here”, he added.

“Oh, I see! Don’t worry about it too much, it’s like everywhere else!”

Oh, if you only knew how wrong that statement was.

His eyes landed on your right arm and the star that covered the sleeve of your blouse. Why would you wear such a badge? Upon closer inspection, he noticed your shattered clothing, the hem of your earth coloured dress completely torn.

Before Levi was even able to react two men ran into you, forcefully pushing your body into the dirt of the streets.

“Get out of the way, scum”, one of them hissed towards you.

Anger rose inside his veins immediately. You were just standing there, minding your own business. Why on earth did they push you?

“Watch your step”, his voice suddenly called towards the men.

“Please, it’s alright. Don’t get into trouble because of me.”

And then your hand rested against his shoulders, making his heart beat so loud that Levi swore you could hear it. What was this? Why did your little innocent touch turn him all flustered?

Something about you just seems different. No, despite the fact that it is so wrong, despite being here only for a mission, his mind wanders to you every free second.

Even though you might be dead by now.

“I will leave after tonight”, he announced into darkness, your moonlit features making it hard for him to focus on staying serious.

Your lip began to tremble, glossy eyes darting towards him.

“What? But why do you have to leave? You just arrived…”

“I came here because I have a mission to accomplish, (y/n).”

“But you will return when you’re done, right?”

The hopeful tone in your voice killed him from the inside. Oh, how much he wished he could just take you with him, how much he’d love to have more time with you. But this is simply not possible.

His cold eyes glared at you through the darkness, desperately trying to keep his composure.

“I might never return to this place, (y/n).”

You felt like someone pulled the ground from beneath your feet. Within the last few weeks, you learned that Levi’s hard façade isn’t more than a trick. No, in fact, he carries a character made of pure gold.

You started to like him.

“Then I’ll find you wherever you’ll go.”

And you did. You never missed to write him letters. Levi can’t help but wonder how you did that, your elegant handwriting following him through the darkness of the night, lighting up his mood despite the situation he’s in. Yes, he looked forward hearing from you every single day.

Until the rumbling started.

Until he didn’t receive any letters from you anymore.

It broke his heart, waking up from his coma with all that was on his mind being your stunning smile.

“Did I receive any letters from her?”

“You mean (y/n)? No, not until it all started. She lived in the northern area of Marley so it’s very likely that…”

His heart shattered into a million pieces, dead eyes staring into the distance. Your beautiful smile, that promise you gave him the night before he left. The thought of you getting trampled to death…

“Don’t say it.”

“Hey, maybe she did it somehow. (y/n) is a smart woman. I’m sure she found a way out.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, shitty four-eyes. She’s dead.”

He has seen it all, countless people died in front of his very own eyes. Why would it be different this time? Why shouldn’t you of all people be taken away from him? A little spark of luck, a minor ray of sunshine in this sheer darkness.

He leans back in his wheelchair, darkness consuming him all over again. You deserved so much better, your whole life was still ahead of you. In a world that never wanted you, you always kept your smile as bright as the sun. Despite the fact that they treated you like the dirt underneath their feet, despite how poorly the circumstances were, your smile beamed brighter than anything else.

“What would it give me to burry myself in sadness? I only have this one life, why not making the best of it?”

The best…

“Fuck!” he cries out, slamming a nearby book against the wall in frustration.

Why you? Why out of all the people, you are the one who had to lost her precious life? He never had the chance to tell you how he feels, how you turned his world upside down, that he survived for you.

Dear captain Levi (I love to call you that),

How are you? I hope your mission is going well and that you’ll return soon. I have some exciting news to share with you! After working so much over the last few weeks, I was finally able to buy myself a new dress! Although I wanted to get a white one because I know you love the colour, I bought a dark green one in honour of you. When you come back, we’ll be matching!

I miss you and our conversations late at night. Please tell me you and the others are okay.

In love,

(y/n)

That dark green dress he never got so see, the joy you fuelled inside of him despite being hundreds of miles away from him. God, how much he misses you. How much he fucking misses talking to you through the darkness of the night, to hear from the world through the unwavering veil of your optimism. What would he give to stretch out his hands after you for once, holding you tightly against his chest? It truly kills him from the inside, knowing he will never be able to hold your hand or kiss your lips tenderly, that you’ll never tell him old fairy tales anymore.

You were special. An angel in a world full of devils. Your word alone should have been enough to end every war in the blink of an eye. It definitely was enough to end the war inside himself.

“Captain Levi, will you assist me?”

“Stop calling me that, Onyankopon”, Levi mumbles, silently following the taller man into the heart of the city.

The war made the remaining 20% realize how precious being alive is only after their lives hanging on a thread. While the others carried on with their lives, Levi himself got stuck in this cursed city, the city he last saw you in. Returning to Paradis would mean giving up on you, giving up on the spell you put on him. And he simply can’t take it. Even though the whole town got destroyed by the merciless feet of titans, despite numerous people telling him than no one was able to escape, he always looked out for that dark green dress you described to him.

“Thank you”, a little girl giggles at him, eyes widen at the delicious sight of the lollipop in her hands.

All he can do is stare at the ground in front of her tiny feet with empty eyes. How nice it must be to have something to hold onto in times like these, after losing everything and everyone.

“Hey, can I get another one?”

“Don’t get greedy, young lady!”

That voice, that angelic voice almost reminds him of you. How long has it been since you last spoke to him? So long that the sound of your speech slowly fades in the back of his mind.

But that woman, that woman almost sounds like you. His gaze wanders up her dirty shoes, the hem of her green dress…

A green dress. Dark green, to be exact.

“Levi?”

His eyes widen, his heart stops beating.

No, this can’t be. Is it a dream?

“Levi Ackerman? Is that you?”

His gaze darts towards your face, time stands still. Your facial features, your joyful eyes. It’s you, it has to be you. Without any doubt.

“(y/n)”

He can’t catch his breath, his orbs lingering over your delicate figure, your dark green dress.

That dark green dress.

Before he can stop himself, his eyes get glossy. It is really you. You’re standing in front of him, uninjured, just like you did before.

“Levi!”, you cry out.

In the matter of seconds, you kneel in front of him, hungry arms holding onto his frame for dear life. Oh god, how much you prayed to see that man again, how much you longed to finally be able to hold him in your arms.

“I never gave up hope. I always believed in your abilities and that you’ll return to me someday”, you mutter against his chest, your salty tears soaking through the fabric of his shirt.

“I thought you were dead.”

His voice isn’t more than a fade away whisper, hand running through your soft hair. He always wondered how it would feel against his fingertips. And now you’re here. In his arms, alive.

You are alive.

“I’m fine. I did leave this town just in time because I wanted to see you again. It was a close call, I almost got crushed but…I made it. I couldn’t leave after telling you the fairy tale about the fox and the rabbit, right?”

Silent tears stream down his face like a waterfall while you cry rivers against his chest. His whole life Levi was haunted by loss and grief. As if he was cursed, everyone around him seemed to die in front of his very eyes. Just after letting himself fall, after trusting someone, after gifting them his feelings…They just lost their lives like flies.

But you’re safe and sound, you look just like you did in his memory.

“I love you, (y/n). I should have told you this way sooner and I did all of this just to return to you.”

Your heart sinks in your chest, body overflowing with feelings. Without thinking twice, you press your lips against his scarred ones, letting yourself sink into his lap while your hands hold onto his face for dear life. This man right in front of you, the man who never left your mind, the man who risked his life to save yours. He survived. He survived and came back to you just like you always dreamed of.

“I love you too”, you shriek, smiling at him so widely with tears overflowing in your eyes that you make his world whole again.

“But as you see, I’m not the man you met back then…”, he begins, looking down his disabled body.

You shake your head vehemently, gently taking his hands into yours.

“All I see is the man I love and waited for”, you reply.

You wipe away your tears and a trail of snot in the most unladylike and precious way Levi ever witnessed before standing up and straighten your skirt with trembling hands.

“So now, what do you think? How do you like my now old new dress?” you croak.

You twirl around, making his life complete. This. This is exactly what he fought for, why he never gave up even after Hange dedicated her life. You standing in front of him in that dark green dress, smiling widely after he told you that he loves you.

This is all he ever wanted.

“You look lovely. Absolutely lovely, (y/n)”, he replies.

And for the first time since forever, a genuine smile is formed on his face.

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blue-jisungs · 1 year

Text

the cat guy from 143

au. non!idol lino, neighbour-strangers to ???

a/n. i love my cats. i love cats in general. cats.

not proof-read!! bc i am lazy!!

when minho was coming back from his trip to the convenience store he did not expect rain. it was sunny before he left. and certainly he did not expect, on a tuesday morning, to see someone squatting in the middle of the sidewalk. crying.

as he gets closer, he’s thinking what to do. he could just walk by. but he feels bad, he can’t do that.

so he stops in front of this person, gulping.

“excuse me?”

this certain someone happens to seem familiar… his brows furrow.

“sorry” you sniff, unable to control how your body shakes.

“are you okay?” minho asks, trying to recall where he has seen your face. speaking of which; it scrunches in sadness, tears forming at your waterline. he barely sees them due to the rain. you shake your head as a no, body shaking again. he’s starting to think it’s not only because of your crying but also because of the fact that you’re in a t-shirt and you’re soaking wet.

minho crouches and curses mentally that he didn’t bring an umbrella with him.

“what happened?” he asks softly and immediately regrets it when you start crying even more, harsh sobs escaping your lips “hey…”

“my cat has gone missing” you sniff and his heart clenches with pain. as a father of three he’s afraid to even think about something like that happening “he’s an asshole sometimes but he never ran away…”

“i’m sorry, i truly am. i can help you look for him, okay? but let’s get somewhere where it isn’t raining, hm?” minho coos and you look at him, pout on your lips.

“you will?” you ask, hope sparkling in your eyes. he nods, soft smile on his lips.

“i will. should we go to your place? you know, your neighbourhood should be the first place to look around” minho says and stands up, helping you as well. and then a lightbulb lights up in his head. you’re his neighbour.

“mhm. that’s smart. i live just around the corner” you nod and he a warm smile ghosts on his lips. he silently followed you to your place.

and his assumptions were proved correct when you opened the door that were… literally on the other side of his place. but he didn’t say anything.

“do you want something warm to drink? you must be freezing” you sighed softly, feeling the soreness from crouching for so long. minho scoffed.

“me? freezing? i’d worry about yourself. you were shivering all the way here” he shook his head, putting his groceries bag on a floor “let me do it for you. i assume we have a similar layout of apartment–”

“what?” you breath out, the situation you were in suddenly hitting you like a train. you let a - strangely familiar looking - stranger into your house and now he’s telling you that–

“i live across the hall” he smiled softly and you let out a gasp

“you’re the cute guy from 143–?” your eyes widened when you let too much slip and quickly corrected yourself “i mean cat guy?!”

“indeed. a father of 3” your neighbour nodded proudly. so hopefully he didn’t notice, to your luck “and i’m minho, by the way. i don’t think i introduced myself”

“oh, right! y/n” you grinned and minho was relieved to noticed that you calmed down a little.

“i’ll make you some tea and we can go look for your cat” minho said and suddenly you heard a loud meow. you two looked at each other in surprise, blinking slowly “do you leave your windows open?”

“no…” you frowned and stood up, going to your bedroom. but a sudden wave of cold air hit you and you realised that, in fact, your window was opened “oh”

“hm?” minho hummed from kitchen and you let out a gasp.

“i uh…” you swooped the orange cat into your arms and it purred, nuzzling its head against your skin. you stepped back to the kitchen “it’s not my cat”

minho turned his head and dropped a tea spoon he was holding.

“soonie?” he murmured and walked up to you, the cat not really… caring about him.

“oh, this little guy is yours? where’s my cat though…” you sighed, scratching the orange’s cat head

“it’s a girl, actually” minho hummed and suddenly froze “and yours?”

“oh, arnold schwarzenegger is a boy” you grinned and started laughing at his puzzled expression. then he frowned and left your place, leaving the door open. minho opened the door from his place and you followed him.

“one, two, three… four?” he scoffed upon seeing a grey cat on his couch, playing with dori.

soonie purred and escaped your arms, walking up to the two playing cats. dongie watched them suspiciously.

“well, i’m guessing we left our windows open and they became friends! this is so cute” you smiled, crouching down. arnold run up to you, purring happily.

“it is as long as you me cat is castrated” he grunted and you nodded.

“he sure is. sorry buddy” you giggled and patted his head. then you swooped arnold into your arms, looking at minho hesitantl “well, i’ll keep going then… but thank you. i really appreciate it”

minho nodded. just when you were about to leave and close the door, he put his foot between it and the doorframe. you turned around, surprised.

“you know, since they became friends… we can too” he smiled softly, scratching his neck “you’re pretty cute as well”

your eyes widened. oh. so he heard it.

“uhm, yeah! sure!” you snapped back, trying to hold yourself together “i feel like arnold likes being around dori, yeah. we can definitely hang out. you know, so they… can too…”

minho scoffed at your awkwardness.

“well, you know the address already” and with a wink, he closed the door, leaving you speechless in the middle of the hall.

“meow!!” arnold nudged your arm.

“shut up” you rolled your eyes and came back into your apartment, a wide grin on your face.

[ masterlist <3 ]

taglist. @geniejunn ,, @luvhyun3 ,, @starlostseungmin ,, @elviransworld ,, @jnks6r ,, @sieunsgf ,, @ethereallino ,, @laylasbunbunny ,, @duolingofanaccount ,, @slytherinhobi ,, @jung0ne ,, @ka-ni-ma ,, @iliveforlixie ,, @moonacholy ,, @ameliesaysshoo ,, @dazzlingligth ,, @stcrlcst

#skz minho #skz #skz fluff #skz imagines #skz scenarios #skz soft hours #skz x you #skz x y/n #skz x reader #skz reactions #stray kids #skz lee minho #lee minho x reader #lee know fluff #lee know x reader #lee know x y/n #lee know x you #lee know scenarios #lee know fanfic

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bradassholemajors · 5 months

Text

Wtf Is Shock Treatment’s Deal? (Or, Local Critic Discovers Escapism and Having Fun In The Midst of Late Stage Capitalistic Dread)

Watched Shock Treatment for the first time this week, and I am a changed man lol. Here are some disorganized thoughts:

I think something that makes Rocky Horror so special is that it can be as deep or not-deep as you want it to be. Like, if you want to think about the cultural implications of the themes portrayed (hedonism, gay & trans liberation, gender roles, the Invasion-of-the-Body-snatchers style infiltration of outside queer forces, the downfall of the safety contained within a collective identity), you can absolutely do that! There’s so much to be interpreted there!! But if you are just here to see Tim Curry looking incredibly sexy and violently thrust along to the Time Warp at a midnight showing with a bunch of cool strangers, that is absolutely awesome, too. Slay!! Take what you want.

BUT SHOCK TREATMENT MANNNN??? Shock Treatment is a whole different ballgame lol. Like, it is also a thematically rich goldmine, if you’re willing to squint a little— in terms of content included, not necessarily how it’s portrayed within the narrative. In the words of Barry Bostwick here, “it was a statement about the future that we weren't quite ready to explore. We didn't really even have the mental emotional vocabulary to understand what Richard [O’Brien, the creator] was trying to say.” I think this is spot-fucking-on!!! It’s absolutely frighteningly prescient, especially today in terms of the commodification of mental health. Like, woah. Janet being crowned “Miss Mental Health” felt like such a Gwyneth Paltrow moment. Cultural prophet Richard O’Brien saw the dark cloud of Betterhelp and wellness culture galloping over in the horizon in the distance of the American landscape, and he set out to warn us.

I still don’t quite understand what happened in the movie. I still don’t know what my takeaway was supposed to be. And I guess if you’re a little insane and love having fun doing thematic analysis with weird media (like me), taking Shock Treatment seriously may be right for you, lol. But thematically overall I think it’s safe to say: it’s a lot less coherent than its predecessor. It’s messy. It’s not interested in being flawless. It’s not interested in appealing to an audience. It’s barely interested in being a sequel. Shock Treatment is lowkey pointing and laughing in the face of those who showed up expecting a masterpiece— which admittedly was me, because I take Rocky Horror pretty seriously. (I put off watching Shock Treatment for a while bc I wasn’t sure about how it would affect the Rocky Horror Universe I had in my head.) If not for the internet reviews prepping me, I would have walked in completely expecting another nuanced perfect symphony of a movie to measure up to Rocky Horror’s magic.

But the thing was? Watching Shock Treatment, it ended up I did not really care!!!!! I was having the time of my life!!!!!

(more under the cut whoops)

Wtf was going on!!!!!!!!!!! Who knows!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I still don’t quite know!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I loved it!!!

This reaction of such joy, just letting myself vibe out made me think because when did I start getting surprised when watching a movie is more pleasurable than not??? Isn’t that the entire point of media??

I think with the modern commodification of media analysis and examining pop culture up close, I’d argue that Fun Media without a message is actually pretty hard to come by— at least in mainstream culture. Even stuff as sanitized as Disney movies are now digging into like generational trauma, appealing to what seems to be a collective search for depth (or at least the appearance of depth.) Modern neo-nazi brands of fascism wields power like never before, horrific images of violence follow everyone left and right. Sometimes it seems like this open secret, that everyone knows there’s this looming darkness at the forefront of our minds at all times.

So this transition from Rocky Horror to Shock Treatment felt actually sort of powerful to me. Rocky Horror’s generation-long reverberations of shamelessly depicting sensual revelry are so powerful; it’s bold even for today! (Of course, we all know transvestite isn’t a term commonly used today, but looking at it through the lens of its time, it becomes clear what a miracle the movie is. Knowing what it must have meant to queer people at the time it became a phenomenon— giving them a real space to be themselves in a hostile world criminalizing who they were, in a time of oppressive pressure to stay silent — that is the type of brave blatant acceptance hard to come by in any era.) Rocky Horror is something I don’t know if will ever happen again, and its sequel seems to concur.

Shock Treatment has been called a cash grab but I beg to differ. If you’ve seen it, no offense: but does this seem marketable to you??? It seems like it’s a Richard O’Brien project (already wacky) that went through several levels of development hell and heavy modifications through the creative process. Said with the utmost respect… it may have got away from them a bit. Put lovingly, Shock Treatment lowkey kinda sucks a little at times. It’s silly, it’s got a huge cast and musical fun galore. It’s serving B-movie realness. I don’t say this to bash on it, I say this with a bemused respect— I think the existence of Shock Treatment is as much a miracle as Rocky Horror (aren’t all creations???)

So in the first iteration, we have advocacy and fighting for freedom for those long silenced… but also, Shock Treatment seems to allow the creators to just let themselves have fun. Aren’t they both revolutions in their own right? Does everything have to be lasting cultural milestones or does our enjoyment matter in the moment? I’d argue we need both as human beings to thrive. It comes back to that Rocky-Horror-experience philosophy I covered where you’re taking what you feel you need most from the media you consume: a message or a celebration of just being here.

In conclusion, sometimes shit doesn’t have to be that deep. More movies should just say “fuck it, we ball” and give you the most absolutely incoherent fun time of your life. I love not taking things seriously, and I love creators willing to not take their work seriously. Perhaps Richard O’Brien also had a premonition with Shock Treatment in the sense of how he just had fun with it! Maybe we need less attempts at masterpieces and more attempts at just creation for the joy of it— or both, because joyful creation makes masterpieces!!! I’d love to see more creators of every skill level and every background, known and not known, say fuck you to capitalism and expectation and marketability and just say, we’re gonna do it anyhow, anyhow!!!

#this got away from me #just like #shock treatment #may have for #richard o brien #media studies #hey janet. i’ve got something to say #this is so incoherent but I’m okay with that ❤️ love and light ❤️❤️#written while I was so so sleep deprived pls only discuss if you are nice and kind abt it lol #love me writing a whole essay on how cool it is to not take things seriously - taking it Very Very Seriously #mamma mia #<- this is also abt her in a. way #Farley flavors call me

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chaisshitposts · 6 months

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hi love if you don’t mind can you go in more detail about the time you entered the void and manifested your job? what was your mindset like before you entered? what do you think helped you enter? i’m in my 20s as well and really want to at least get my dream job first of all things and then i feel like i could finally relax you know? :( so your help would be greatly appreciated🥹

also i think your followers are really nice and mature so when i do tap in, i wouldn’t mind affirming (everyone who likes my success story and has good intentions will enter roe)

sure! let's see if I can remember as many details as possible— it was a couple days after I had my job interview, I had already been affirmin' my ass off that that job was mine and no one could take it from me— on this particular day, I think it was a Sunday. the lady who interviewed me said I would get my answer on the followin' Wednesday, and god that stressed me out, but I still kept affirmin'. on that day, I felt an extreme sense of drowsiness and so I had went to try and sleep in my bed. I already knew about SATs and whatever so I thought I could just affirm as I go to sleep, which I did. I was 'asleep' but I was still repeating my affirmations over and over, only focusin' on them while I was physically tossing and turning. Since I was tryna sleep, my eyes were already closed and it was silent in my room so ig I just didn't care about my surroundings. I do, however, remember that at some point I was affirmin' and was fully aware of my affirmations but then somethin' changed inside me and I was like 'Its done, nothing more for me to do, I don't wanna stress over this anymore. I can't sleep so, might as well just go back downstairs.' Then I opened my eyes and got up, feeling my stress about everything completely gone.

I went downstairs, right as my ma sat down after gettin' a package off the porch and that's when she gave me my new phone. (I still live with my family, yes, but only bc california is a dirt bag ofc) And I kid ya not, a couple minutes after I opened up the box with my new phone in it, I got a congratulations email from the lady who interviewed me, as well as the offer letter on my old phone. I freaked out afterwards bc I was like, ain't no way??? She said she'd send me somethin' on WEDNESDAY?? It's SUNDAY. I even told my ma and she was excited, then I was like-- I really manifested this??? After an entire year of being unemployed despite havin' my degree, and forcin' myself to work at Amazon and FedEx just to have a lil' change to call my own... I finally scored the job I WANT.

The best advice I could give you tbh is that ya should make robotic affirmin', the list method, and the ten minute method yer best friend. I did not have a good outlook on employment until I settled down and decided to change my thinkin' and god I was still stressed as fuck even when I affirmin'. I've never been good at talkin' to strangers, especially on the phone or on video call, but I affirmed right up until the interview started that the job would be mine no matter what and I was completely calm. Now, I am a step closer to my dream job. (I'm a substitute teacher currently workin' towards my credentials to be a full-time teacher in case ya were wonderin', the company I work for also provides grants to pay for the schooling needed to get credentialed which is such a big fuckin' bonus)

and yes, they definitely all are amazin' people, I never expected to have such a positive lil' community of followers but I am grateful to them, for sure.

bUt, okay, lemme stop ramblin' here's what I wantcha to do anonnie— I want ya to make yerself a list, title it whatever ya want to call the list, and fill that list with affirmations, askformations, statements, new beliefs, whatever ya want. could include anything ya want, details about the job ya want, how much money ya wanna make, how ya want the bosses to treat ya, what kinda work environment ya want, whatever, and then I want ya to include some self-concept affirmations, as well as some affirmations about the void (whatever feels natural for you), ah and some manifestation affirmations too. make it however long or short ya want, doesn't matter. once ya have that, read it over as many times as ya want and then throughout the day, whenever ya can, I want ya to robotically affirm that you've got everything on [name of yer list], say this whenever ya can, and especially when ya start thinkin' negative about whatever you desire or whenever ya feel like you're about spiral. affirm this through everything and anything, affirm if ya can't help but cry, affirm when yer angry, affirm when yer happy, just keep affirmin.'

as long as ya keep this up and correct yer thoughts, you'll have guaranteed movement in yer life, that's the law. even in false hope, whatever is repeated shall harden into fact.

#— chai's asks. !! ~#— anonnie. !! ~

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strwberri-milk · 1 year

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I Know You'll Always Love Me (And I Wish It'd Be Enough)

Ex!Kaeya x AFAB!Reader || Smut, Angst no Comf || 2 825 words

additional tags: vaginal sex, blowjobs, mildly toxic relationship (you and kaeya are broken up but regularly fuck and its not good for either of you)

Forever was a promise that you made to him. You just didn't realise how much this version of forever could hurt.

a/n: idk why but theres smth about this,,,the mutual pining, the hurt, the "i love you so much and thats why im letting you go" and anyway this is kaeyas bday fic bc if i cant be happy on mine neither can he /lh there is a chance i write a second part bc i like happy endings but,,,,,

A buzz interrupts your nightly routine, your breath caught in your throat as you know exactly what that means.

The moon is high in the sky, slipping through your curtains to land on your bedside table. Your phone is alight with a message, another buzz reminding you that someone on the other end expects an answer. It isn’t until your phone is in your hand and you’re reading the text that you realise you’re already texting back, that lump in your throat refusing to go.

As soon as the text sends you know you’ve only got a short amount of time to prepare, that churning in your stomach both anxiousness and excitement. You know how much it’ll hurt to go through with this, to let him back in even for this brief encounter but you need him here, even if it’s just to pretend that things are the same and nothing’s changed.

The doorbell doesn’t even ring, the only word of warning you get is a turning of the knob as you remind yourself for the nth time you need to take his key back. You turn to the door of your bedroom, immediately engulfed in a familiar warmth you wish you could forget. His kisses are desperate against your skin, nails digging into your body as his heavy breathing drowns out your other thoughts.

“Kaeya,” you gasp against his lips, letting him swallow your moans as he only gets more frantic.

Kaeye doesn’t say anything, only pushing you down onto your sheets. Immediately, his grip brings your legs to wrap around his waist, pulling your core to rub up against his. Your hands push against his chest with a whimper, making him stop and look at you. His eye is unfocused, evidence of his arousal beginning to poke against your wettening entrance.

“Do you want me to stop?” he asks, already beginning to withdraw from your body.

“No!” you cry out, pulling him back on top of you.

You miss him so much, wanting nothing more than for him to look at you the way he used to. This is the only way you’ll get him now, and you’re disgusted with yourself for it. You can only have him under the cover of night, blanketed by desire at his behest.

But you know there’s no way you can say no to him.

“Then what’s wrong?”

There’s no warmth in his voice, nothing like the man you used to know. Instead, there’s just a stranger in his body, someone who’s been long done with you but the body is so comforting you need it to take you. You shake your head and pull him back down, slotting your lips together.

“I just wanted to breathe a bit,” you lie easily, knowing by the way his fingers twitched that he didn’t believe you.

He only shakes his head before continuing, positioning your body to sit better against his lap as he begins to rut against your body. You can feel his erection growing against you, reaching down to touch him only to have your hand swatted away.

“Don’t worry about me,” he says in a way that could almost be seen as caring. “If I want you to be ready then I’ll have to focus on you before myself.”

Even now he was still giving to you, the sick and twisted irony being that he took everything from you when he left. That, or he just didn’t want to let himself melt into your arms to keep this cordial distance between you two. Whatever the answer is, you decide it doesn’t matter as much as his fingers against your wet slit does, biting your bottom lip as he begins to tease you.

“I missed this,” he whispers almost reverentially, slowly beginning to sound more like the man you used to know.

You keen into his touch, letting him do with you as he wishes, totally unaware of what’s going on in his mind.

Kaeya’s quickly becoming obsessed with your body once again, loving the way he fits into his so smoothly. He knows everything that makes you feel good, how you’ll squeeze so tightly around his fingers if he crooks them up a certain way or even just kisses you with just the right amount of pressure. Your breath against his collar drives him insane in a way he thinks you’ll never know and imperceptibly, his grip around your body tightens.

He doesn’t need to hear your noises to know that he’s right where you need him to be, only mildly listening just in case he hurts you. All of what he does is purely muscle memory, his mind never able to fully wean itself off of you during the countless hours he spends alone. The only thing he can do to make the ringing in his ears stop is to kiss you like this, hold you like this, pull his fingers out of your pussy to take your bottoms off for you like this.

You get the sense that he’s moving faster than he normally would. Maybe he’s busy in the morning, or perhaps he has someone else he’s wanting to see. The thought makes you pause, tears beginning to spring to your eyes.

In an instant, you feel yourself being pulled up and into his lap. Kaeya sits himself against the headrest of your bed, putting your face in the junction between his shoulder and jaw. You’re acutely aware of the fact that you won’t be able to look at him like this, wanting nothing more than to make him see what he’s putting you through but knowing that if he wants to avoid it he will. He doesn’t say much as you cry silently, only threading his fingers through your hair.

Normally, the rise and fall of his chest would soothe you but now you can’t feel anything but anger. Anger at him, at some imaginary date he has, at the fact that you somehow managed to let him slip through your fingers as though he meant nothing when it was the furthest thing from the truth. You don’t know if he knows how much you love him, how much you feel like you need him.

Instead, he just keeps you close against his body, sighing as you cry into him. After a few minutes he clears his throat.

“Do you want me to leave?”

“Stay,” you mumble, bringing your hand down to his crotch.

He’s gotten soft but you know it’ll take you no time to get him back to his previous hardness. You crawl out of his lap, watching his expression carefully. When he shows no sign of saying no to you, you begin to palm at him before pulling him out of his pants, taking his hiss of satisfaction in stride when he throws his head back against the wood.

“Just until we’re done. Just stay until then, then you can go,” you convince him, letting his fingers tangle themselves back into your hair.

Your pace is slow, soothing his racing thoughts and pounding heart as you bob up and down on his length. Every move you make is practiced, down to the way you swallow around his thick girth to the teasing laps of your tongue when you pull off of him at the ache beginning to form at your jaw. You take pride in the way his hips buck into your mouth and let him guide your pace soon afterwards, looking up at him through your lashes.

Kaeya wishes he could look away but you’re the picture of sin like this, mouth drooling over his shaft and balls. You look like there’s nowhere you’d rather be but between his thighs. His dick twitches with each descent your mouth makes, savouring the slight gagging noises you make against him.

“Fuck - I’m gonna cum,” he warns, words turning into moans as you take him down your throat all at once.

The noises that come from your mouth just get lewder, his eyes rolling into the back of his head at the sight of your hand sneaking between your thighs to touch yourself at his groans. He wishes it were him between your legs, hard dick thrusting roughly into your spent hole that he knows he needs more and more of. He wants nothing more than to rut into you like an animal, neglect all of his needs if it means you’ll whine his name so prettily it makes his head spin. The thought of it makes him cum deep down your throat, his voice almost drowning out the sound of you choking on his cum. He continues to lazily thrust into your mouth, the aftershocks of his orgasm making his muscles twitch.

You sit up when he’s done, wiping the corner of your mouth and licking off the cum that comes off it with a cheeky grin, making his heart skip a beat. He huffs slightly, removing his pants and you know what that means.

Without any prompting from him you turn around and rest your head on your forearms, arching your back and spreading your thighs so his hungry eye can take in your soaked arousal. You didn’t get to cum earlier, not properly anyway. The look on his face as he was fingering you was too distracting to focus on the way he felt, ruining any true sense of pleasure you could have derived from it. Besides, this way you don’t have to see him and he doesn’t have to see you. You know that’s why he likes it this way, at least that’s why he likes it now.

Before, he was obsessed with feeling you up, wanting to watch your ass jiggle as he pulled you onto his cock. If you really got him riled up he’d pull you up, pull his arms through and under your knees as he repeatedly fucked up into you while whispering sweet nothings into your ear. It was intimate, warm. It made you feel loved.

Now, it was a way for him to use you without seeing you. A way to continue building that wall up between you two and you didn’t mind. If it meant that just for a second you could pretend he was looking at you like you were the greatest thing he could have then you would take it. You would take all of him over and over again if it meant you got to hang onto your delusions.

“Now, what are you doing like that? Turn around so I can see you,” he purrs, taking you by surprise.

You remain still, unsure of what to do. He sighs, grabbing you by your hips and turning your body over. Sprawled out on your back like this he gives you no room to escape his body, teasing his cock between your pussy lips with a self satisfied smirk.

“Well, look who’s ready for me. I can fuck you, can’t I?” he asks cockily.

Your nod grants him entrance, arching your back as the delicious stretch of his cock entering your body makes your mind numb.

This. This is what you’ve missed.

The look on his face of rapture as he feels you squeeze around him, the way he kisses you like he loves you, the way he can’t breathe without moaning into your skin, the way his hips slowly thrust into you as he waits for you to adjust to his size. All of it makes even more tears spring to your face but this time he doesn’t stop.

Instead, he just brushes his fingers against your eyes. Tenderly, your tears are wiped away and you can’t help but keen more into his touch as you grow even more desperate for him to touch you more. You need more of this intimacy you know he can give you, whining into his lips as he kisses you to keep you quiet.

“Kaeya, Kaeya – please don’t tease me like this,” you pant against him, bucking your hips to tell him to move faster.

“Come on, you really think I’m that easy?” comes his smooth response.

Your nails dig into the sheets, not knowing if he’ll let you hold him. It’s all you can do not to mark his body, terrified that one misstep would lead to him cutting you out of his life entirely. That’s something you don’t want to gamble with, knowing that once this transactional relationship is done you’ll become nothing but a mere shell of yourself.

All your efforts are in vain when he wraps his arms around your body, holding you tight against his chest. You cling onto him like he’s your lifeline and as far as you’re concerned he is. He doesn’t brush off your touch this time, letting your nails scratch down his back when his pace picks up. The grinding of his hips against your body in this position stimulates every part of you that he reaches, only making your noises become that much more desperate.

Your senses are filled with him, pleasure mixing with an intense sadness that this will soon be over. That soon enough he’ll be gone and the only thing that will be left to warm your sheets is a memory of him that only cares when it suits him. As your focus wanes, his intensifies, refusing to let you slip away.

He pins you back down against the bed, pulling your hands off of him just to thread your fingers together and keep them above your head. It forces you to look at him as he fucks you, navy locks falling down to frame his handsome features as he starts to ram into you. His dick brings you back to the present and you’re no longer holding back any of your noises. You know your voice is going to go hoarse with the way you’re screaming for him but you don’t know anything else when your brain is muddled like this, letting him slot his lips between yours when you cum around him.

Kaeya feels you clench around him, pretending that the tears on your face don’t bother him as much as they actually do. It’s the only reason he can think of to hold back from the pleasure that threatens to overtake him, knowing that once he cums it’ll all be over. That he has no reason to stay here anymore, that for your own sake he needs to leave. It doesn’t matter that he’s clearly saying the right things for you, thrilled at the way your body reacts to his voice and if it weren’t for his own actions he’d be able to take his time and tease you to his heart’s content.

Instead, he’s rutting into you like a wild animal, burying his moans into your neck as you cum with cries of his name. There’s little room for him to focus on those mundane feelings, the one’s he can reflect on in the comfort of his cold bed. Now, he can focus on you, focus on the way his body needs you, the release that he’s been craving all day satiated as he cums deep inside of you. Your breathless noises make his cock twitch wanting to indulge in you over and over again despite knowing he won’t.

The encounter comes to an end, the unspoken rule between the two of you ever since your explosive fight coming into effect. Neither person says anything they’ll regret. Neither person asks for the other to stay.

He wordlessly cleans the two of you off, finishing with a soft kiss to your lips. You’ve grown to expect it now, unsure if it’s because he’s so used to showering you with aftercare or because it’s a fissure of his facade. You don’t let him go as soon as he pulls back, instead chasing his lips to deepen the kiss. When he responds in kind you’re shocked, but you want to milk it for as much as you can, closing your eyes as you cup his face in your hands.

When you both part to breathe you take a minute to just look at him, melting into his being and speaking without thinking.

“I love you.”

The three words hang heavily in the air, dread flooding your chest as you try to figure out how to remedy the situation. He sighs in your panic, shaking his head and pulling back from you. The tears spring to your eyes again and you wish that you could do something rather than just cry as he gets dressed and ready to go. You watch as he’s about to walk through the door, turning back just to glance at you.

“I know you do.”

And with that he’s gone, every trace that he was once here taken with him again.

And with that, you collapse into yourself again, knowing that you’ll do anything if it means seeing him again, just for a minute.

#kaeya x reader #kaeya smut #kaeya alberich x reader #genshin x reader #genshin smut

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drdemonprince · 9 months

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how do you go about navigating your low-empathy in an unmasked way? a Significant Event has recently transpired with a close family member of mine but the thing is i don’t even like her bc she was always cruel/abusive to me; frankly i’m legitimately unaffected by what happened BUT i’m now absolutely dreading the questions and concern from other people that’s bound to come. i know in an objective sense that a bad thing just happened but the neurotypicals are gonna be expecting me to be Feeling Things that im just not. your blog has really inspired me to stop masking so much and allow myself to be autistic in an unapologetic way, but i really feel like i’m not gonna win this one. i don’t like asking strangers online to tell me what to do but like, what do i do here so i don’t come across like a psychopath casually discussing a minor tragedy?

I think if you discuss it in a neutral way most people will assume you are being private and don't want to show how you are feeling about it, which fair enough that is kinda true here just not in the way that they think. A lot of people will take this as a cue to not ask too much about the subject or how you are coping with it, which in this situation seems fine. Illness and loss are subjects many find uncomfortable to discuss so I think more will avoid even digging into it than you might think.

I think as long as you stick to the necessary facts and let people assume you are being private about your coping, not much is going to go wrong.

As a preteen I made the mistake of telling people too vocally that I "did not care" that a certain person in my family had died, and that did creep people out and seem callous, but any other time a situation like that has happened I've just demurred if people asked how I was coping -- what they are really asking is if they can help emotionally, and the answer is no, and you can convey that the answer is no in an honest but also respectful way.

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giogio1998 · 10 months

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Ok nerds, hear me the fuck out !!

This is my fancast for the JLI, but before we all lose it I need a quick disclaimer: this fancast is what I think the JLI could look like in a live action movie, this isn’t serious and I think if this movies were to exist it would be a comedy movie bc it’s the JLI, they’re not supposed to be taken seriously by anyone!!!!

With that in mind this is my fancast and I’ll walk you through it, let’s go:

Blue Beetle (Ted Kord):

Logan Lerman, off to a great start, i know (lol). Based on Logan’s roles throughout his career I think he would be a great Ted Kord bc he can play a nice, wholesome guy and I think he looks like the character as well. Like Ted, you would wanna put him in a jar and protect him from the world. Also he hasn’t been in many movies recently and I miss him, he deserves better.

Booster Gold (Michael J. Carter):

Lucas Till, just look at him !!! You cannot tell me he doesn’t look exactly like booster, you can’t !!! Besides Lucas has been in many action productions from movies to tv shows BUT he was also the love interest in the Hannah Montana movie THATS RANGE, he can play a the super hero and the goof we all know and love. And again, look at him !!!!

Green lantern (Guy Gardner):

Dacre Montgomery. Ok, Guy is a hard one to cast bc he is the biggest asshole in the world but we also love him bc he’s part of the JLI, we need someone that can play a jerk but can also have a redeeming plot bc again, we love him. And in my opinion dacre is the guy (get it ? Guy ?) I mean, u saw him as Billy in stranger things, he’s a great actor, he is perfect for this role.

Now comes the exciting part, the gurls.

Ice (tora olafsdotter):

Sophie Turner. Do I even have to say anything at this point? Look at her she IS Tora. You’ve seen Sophie in GOT you know she can play the baddest bitch on the planet while playing a sweet girly girl and that’s Tora right there. She can carry this role easily and I think she looks just like Tora she’s also very tall wich is great considering she’s playing a Norwegian woman.

Ok, now we need to have a talk about this next one, HEAR ME OUT.

Fire (Beatriz Bonilla da Costa):

Selena Gomez. I know what you’re gonna say: “she’s not Brazilian”. Yeah I know (I’m Brazilian myself) but let’s be realistic, it’s Hollywood, they don’t care, they don’t even know the difference between Latinos and frankly, so doesn’t the rest of the world. So if we’re gonna have a Latina play Fire it would be great to have one the most loved latinas in the world playing her. I love Selena Gomez, she’s a great actress and she can play a bad bitch and a lovely girl just like Bea. And I even got this photo to help you visualize (you’re welcome btw) and I think she looks amazing, I would add green eye contacts to the mix but I think she would nail it. And also, as a Brazilian myself she has my blessing to play fire U.U

Martian Manhunter (J’onn J’onzz):

Terry Crews, remember when I said that this movie has to be a comedy?? I always thought that Martian Manhunter would be a great comic relief bc of the breach of expectation considering he’s supposed to be a very serious character and to me Terry Crews would be PERFECT for this role, not only he can play a very intimidating character he is also one of the funniest actors out there, also with Martian’s ability to shape shift I would love to see terry play a range of things martian can turn into. I love him.

Max Lord:

Zac Efron, here’s what I’m thinking for this one: Max has to be played by someone that we really love so when it’s reveled that he’s the villain we feel even more betrayed and I think Zac is our guy. Bc everybody loves Zac efron, if you don’t you’re dead on the inside, and Zac had shown us that he can play a villain role, the man played Ted B*ndy for fuck sake’s !! He can carry this role easily.

And last but not least

Batman (Bruce Wayne):

I have no idea, this is the only one I can’t think of, bc although I love BatPat I don’t think Robert is a great fit for this particular fictional project lol, this would be a comedy movie and Robert’s version of the Batman is super serious, besides I wanted the main JLI and Batman and Martian to have a bit of an age gap to show how immature the JLI is compared to household name super heroes like the Batman you know ? So if you have a suggestion let me know bc I can’t think of anyone.

That’s it nerds, this is my fancast for the fictional JLI movie. James Gunn if you’re seeing this give me a call, I have some ideas LOL. Let me know what you think in the comments, bye ✌🏻

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kafus · 9 months

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i’ve been DID fakeclaimed before and i’m thinking about it again bc of how ridiculous it is because it’s always been due to expressing joy. like god forbid after 3 years of DID therapy (yes i have a DID therapist and have been professionally diagnosed for over 3 years) sometimes i enjoy my alters’ presences and want to talk about them or draw them cause i’ve spent so damn long building communication and learning to love myself (and my alters are “myself”)

it is downright shitty to expect a person w DID to be miserable and closed off about their condition forever as “proof” they have the disorder. you also don’t know the whole story from what someone posts online. like yes i am way more likely to post cute art of me and ayano than tell you the details of how my grandfather sexually abused me and conditioned me to have amnesia! i am pretty damn sure anyone would rather share the former! jesus christ! i do not owe you my trauma history to not have my happy DID artwork posted to f/kedis//rdercr/-nge or whatever!

anyways those posts r gone now and i obviously trust the opinion of my therapist more than internet strangers, it does not trigger denial in me, it just really irritates me how cruel people can be to folks with DID under the supposed guise of “protecting people who ACTUALLY have the disorder” fakeclaiming helps Literally no one if you think someone is faking just don’t interact w their shit and focus your energy on helping people you believe or whatever. but maybe reevaluate why you think people are faking in the first place because you may be bitter that people are happy despite their circumstances or projecting juust a little

#kiki was here #kiki.txt #delete later #csa tw

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streamafterlaughter · 2 years

Text

New Kid

Chapter II: The Party

SERIES MASTERLIST || chapter I

summary: You and your new friends hit the most metal party in town right before winter vacation. you expect it to be fun, light, fresh!

tags: some angst, lots of flirting, the burn is slow with this one bc i love teasing myself. eddie munson x nb!gn!reader

a/n: this is early bc i finished it and got too excited to wait until friday. enjoy! disclaimer: I do not give permission to have my work reposted, please inform me if you find my work elsewhere.

Your pov

The rest of your first week in Hawkins dragged. You were behind in two classes already, and close to dropping another. Mostly, you wanted a break. You found yourself thinking more about the party on Friday than you’d ever thought about a social event in your life. You wouldn’t admit to yourself why you wanted to go so badly, but you figured it must be a good sign that you’re excited about something.

Friday is taking an especially long time. When the lunch bell finally rings, you bolt from your seat so quickly, you’re sure there’s a cloud of cartoon dust behind you. You’ve never been athletic, but you’re sprinting to the cafeteria like your life depends on it.

“Hey, whoa, speed racer!” The voice calling out to you fades as soon as you hear it, and you spin on your toes to try finding its source. Over the crowded cafeteria, Eddie’s got his hand in mid wave, a goofy smile on his face.

Suddenly, nothing feels as urgent as backtracking to talk to him, so you make your way over to where he’s leaned against a wall, presumably waiting for you to be within earshot.

“What’s up?” You look up at him, and find the strength to look in his eyes. You almost regret it when you can’t seem to catch your breath.

“Just uh, wondering what you were thinking about— about tonight?”

You raise an eyebrow, feigning ignorance. “Is something happening tonight? Is there a sports game I don’t know about?” You can’t help but grin as his face falls for a split second, but it vanishes when he realizes you’re joking. “Har, har. Good one. Yeah, we’re all going to the football game, maybe if we’re lucky the team will beat the shit out of us after!” Eddie claps his hands together in mock enthusiasm.

You snort in response. “It just so happens, I have plans to attend a party tonight.”

Just as Eddie’s about to respond, a soda can flies at you both, landing between your feet. You look up to find the culprit: a lean blonde boy with piercing blue eyes, sneering at both of you. “Fuckin’ freaks.” He spits as he walks by, his cronies on either side of him snickering.

You look at the kid, then to Eddie. “Uh, what the fuck was that?”

Eddie’s face is red, and his jaw is clenched. Through gritted teeth, he says, “That, dear friend, is Jason Carter, basketball captain and professional tool bag.” He’s still glaring a burning hole into Jason’s back, and you bring your hand up to snap in his face.

“Well, I say fuck Jason Carver trying to ruin our Friday before it even starts.” You find yourself reaching to pat his shoulder, and he lets you. “I’ll see you tonight. Maybe. If I feel like it.”

Eddie looks back down at you, his face softening. “Can’t wait. Actually, do you need a ride? I can come by and get you, it’s no trouble, I know you probably don’t know where Gareth lives…”

“Actually, Robin and I are gonna get ready at her place, I’m driving us from there. That’s awfully kind of you, though, offering to pick up a stranger. I could be dangerous, y’know.”

Eddie cackles, but quickly stops himself when he reads your expression. “Despite your mean and scary appearance, I don’t take you for someone dangerous, sweetheart.”

The pet name catches you off guard. You shake it off for the time being. “I could say the same about you.”

“Touché. Well, I have a set list to make, I’ll see you later.”

Set list? You want to keep talking, but when you glance over to your table, Robin is looking at you both intently, mouth slightly agape. “See you tonight.” You say, but Eddie’s back is already turned, heading towards his gaggle of geeks.

—

Eddie’s POV

“What was that all about, Munson?” Gareth taunts as Eddie takes his seat at the head of his lunch table. Eddie’s not one to back down from a challenge, he’d usually beg for an opportunity to talk about the person he's interested in. He felt, though, like you deserved privacy. You had no clue who Eddie was, and maybe had absolutely no interest in him.

“That was something I like to call: my business and not yours.” Eddie makes his mouth a thin line, an indicator to Gareth not to push him. He shrugs in response. “Now, where were we?”

“We were deciding the last couple of songs for the set tonight. I’m thinking, one more original, and a cover to end it.” Jeff chimes in, pointing to the scratch paper with titles written in chicken scratch. “But which cover? We’ve done plenty of Iron Maiden, a few Sabbath, I wanna switch it up.” Gareth adds, twirling a drumstick in his hand. The two begin bickering over whether to do a Ramones cover, or a Joan Jett song to throw everyone off.

“Stop!” Eddie commands, bringing his bandmates’ focus back to him. “We’ll do The Trooper.” Eddie announces, and Jeff and Gareth look at each other before Jeff speaks up.

“Is it ready? I mean, have we practiced enough?”

“We’ll run it a few more times before tonight, but yeah, I think we got this.”

“This doesn’t have anything to do with Y/N coming, does it?” It’s Dustin that speaks now, looking Eddie dead in the eyes, coaxing the truth out of him. Who can lie to that face?

“It definitely might.” Eddie shrugs. He trusts his friends with this knowledge. “Besides, I’m still gauging my audience, I can’t really get a read on Y/N yet. Maybe tonight will help.” Eddie strokes an imaginary beard, as if pondering the possibilities. This earns an outburst of laughter from his table mates, whom he soon joins.

—

Your POV

Robin picks you up at 8 like she promised. Her house has a lived in feeling, contrary to yours still packed with boxes. Her room is something of a gay fever dream: posters crowd the pink wallpaper with faces such as Joan Jett, Blondie, Kate Bush, and Heart. She shoves her clothes from the end of the bed to make room for you. “Welcome to my humble abode!” She exclaims, gesturing to all ten by ten feet.

“Very nice!” You tease lightly, gingerly sitting on her comforter. “So, what exactly is the vibe of this party?” You ask. You’re wearing what you’d consider your everyday clothes: boots, black baggy jeans covered in patches, a torn and faded Joan Jett t-shirt, and your favorite leather jacket.

“Super casual, honestly. There may be a lot of people there, though, so if you wanna dip at any time, send me the signal.”

You tilt your head in question. “What’s the signal?”

“Hm, I dunno. Maybe do this,” She crosses her pointer fingers over each other in an X. “That way I’ll know you’re not vibing anymore.”

You laugh, shaking your head. “Okay, great. Is there anything I should prepare myself for?”

Robin hesitates, turning from her closet slowly. “Well, they’ll have a band playing. Gareth plays real drums besides playing snare in the marching band. They’re actually pretty good, if you’re into metal—“ she gestures to your outfit, “which I assume you are? Correct me if I’m wrong, I know it isn’t right to stereotype, and it’s not a bad thing dressing the way you do, I think it’s actually really cool and oh my god stop me!” She covers her mouth, embarrassed by her rambling, but you just chuckle.

“I do, in fact, enjoy metal music every once in a while. Is uh, Eddie in the band?”

Robin snorts, “Yeah, he’s their frontman, actually. He’s really talented, but he like, knows he's talented so he can get annoying about it.” she tries to read your expression but fails. “Why do you ask?”

You shrug, because really, you don’t know why you asked. “Just trying to figure out the type of crowd I'm walking into. If it consists of you and Eddie, I think I’m in pretty good hands.”

“He’s single, you know!” Robin teases you like you've been best friends for years.

Instead of responding, you change the subject. “Word on the street is the party doesn’t start until 10, what are we supposed to do until then?”

“Pregame, obviously! Nancy and Steve, they’re cool, you'll like them, will be here with goods in about 20 minutes. If that isn’t your vibe, I have a joint rolled too!”

You relax a little, thanking whoever will listen that the kids in Hawkins know how to party. It’s been awhile since you’ve tried socializing, considering your only friends in Boston were the mathletes, mostly because they were the only ones who’d talk to you.

At 8:30, the doorbell rings, and in walk two of the most conventionally attractive people you’ve ever seen: Steve Harrington and Nancy Wheeler, you can only assume. Steve is a tall, lean guy, with luscious brown hair and a kind face. He’s dressed in dark jeans and a yellow crew neck sweatshirt. His hands rest comfortably on his hips as he sizes you up. Nancy is beautiful too, with short, poofy brown hair, bright eyes, and full lips. She’s wearing a white collared shirt under a dark denim jacket, paired with a flowing striped skirt and ballet flats. Steve holds a case of Red Stripe beer under his arm.

“Y/N! I’m Nancy, it’s so nice to meet you. Robin’s told me so much about you, I’m almost jealous!” Her voice is bright and sweet, and she shakes your hand with what feels like genuine excitement. “You guys get to partying, I'm the designated driver tonight.” Nancy bounces on the bed next to you, kicking her feet up.

“Don’t have to tell me twice!” Steve gets to work opening the beers, passing one to you and then Robin. You thank him with a nod, and chug as much as you can before you taste it. You’ve always hated beer, but it gets the job done.

The four of you talk, and you learn that Steve and Nancy are not, in fact, dating like you thought, but that they had during Nancy’s sophomore year. That is also how you learn why Nancy will no longer drink at parties. You tell them about Boston, your old friends, your father’s job. You talk and drink up until it’s time to leave, feeling a nice buzz.

—

Eddie’s POV

“So, we've decided then? The Trooper to close it out?” Jeff looks up to address Eddie, who nods, mindlessly strumming his own instrument: a beautiful Warlock NJ series BC Rich, his most prized possession. Eddie usually enjoyed band practice, but he’d been distracted all evening, double checking to make sure his hair looked okay, that his pits didn’t stink (not that it mattered, he’d be drenched in sweat after the show.)

“We sound great, man, you have nothing to worry about. Y/N will be putty in your hands by the end of the night.” Gareth twirls his drumsticks as he speaks, a smirk on his face.

Eddie throws his pick at him. “Shut up, dude, I told you I’m not doing that. They’re cool, I like them, I wanna make sure I do everything right.” Eddie wasn’t fantastic at dating. It isn’t that he's not interested, but he's never found himself moved by any of the Hawkins students. The closest he got was his crush on Steve Harrington, but he was dating Nancy Wheeler at the time, and being queer in Indiana is more a death sentence than anything. Since giving up on that dream, Eddie hadn’t been smitten with anyone else. Until meeting you, that is.

Gareth could tell the conversation was over, so he busied himself with tightening his snare, shaking his head at his friend’s crush.

—

Your POV

It’s ten thirty, and Steve’s BMW rounds the corner to Gareth’s house. It’s nothing fancy, a regular two story building with an underground cellar, where most of the party seems to be taking place. As you step into the house, you take everything in, and it’s a lot crazier than you’d expect from people that get teased for having talent.

There are coolers on the back porch stuffed with cans of all kinds, both alcoholic and non. The music playing on the first floor is loud and heavy, and you find yourself head banging to Dio as you make your way to the kitchen. There, you find a fully stocked bar, crowded with a bunch of people wearing flannel and leather, drunkenly conversing about whether being a drummer or a bassist is more likely to get them chicks.

You fill your cup with the punch, knowing anything would be better than the three beers you kicked back at Robin’s. It’s tangy, with just enough strength to keep your buzz going. With your drink in your hand, you and Robin head downstairs.

“They usually play outside, but it’s about fifteen degrees right now, and guitarists kind of need their fingers.” Robin jokes, trying to inspect your mood over the noise of the crowd. “What do you think? Is it totally lame compared to your Boston blowouts?”

“I honestly don’t have much to compare it to. I’m sure it’ll be fun!” At least, you really want it to be. You like Robin, and her friends seem really cool too, so you have faith this party will be a night to remember.

“Cool! I think you’ll really like the band.” She elbows you playfully in the arm, and you bite your lip as your cheeks blush bright red. You still haven’t admitted to having a crush on Eddie, if you can even call it that. You’re sort of hoping the band sucks enough to help you get over it before it becomes a real problem.”Let’s get a good spot!” She drags you by the arm, and you find yourself right in front of the stage, which is really just a foot thick platform of concrete. There’s no separation between you and that platform, and you can’t imagine the weak party lights will be enough to prevent Eddie from seeing you there.

On the makeshift stage, a kid gets up, the feedback of the microphone grabbing everyone’s attention. “Welcome, freaks!” The kid says with a slight lisp, and everyone hollers. “I am proud to announce the entertainment, and your hosts, for this wild night of fun. Please, join me in welcoming CORRODED COFFIN!” The crowd, for how small it is, goes absolutely nuts. You find yourself just drunk enough to give a whistle as the boys take the stage.

Gareth comes out spinning his sticks in his fingers, waving at his friends in the crowd before seating himself behind the drum kit. The bassist, a hefty dude clad in a leather jacket and a t shirt that reads “Hellfire Club” stomps to his spot on the far left side, and Jeff, whose name you only know because of Robin, runs to his mark on the right side of the stage with his arms in the air, his instrument swinging around his neck. There’s a drumroll, and the crowd grows substantially louder as Eddie jogs to the center of the stage. You’re immediately entranced as you watch him make his entrance. He’s wearing, wait, are those pleather pants?! He has a distressed black tank top on, displaying all of his tattoos for the crowd to see. You wait until you’re sure he’s not paying attention to you, and look at his face. You lean into Robin’s ear, “Is he wearing eyeliner?!”

“Dude loves the hair band look. As a lesbian, I think it works for him.” This causes a fit of laughter from both of you. At that moment, just as you’ve caught your breath, you look back at Eddie to find him looking right at you. He doesn’t look away when you catch him, but raises his hand as a hello, and you can’t help but give him your biggest smile as you wave back. Robin watches the whole interaction with a grin on her face.

They kick into their first song, and the crowd is electric. You know you’re surrounded by the minority of Hawkins High, the kids you actually wouldn’t mind running into again. These kids all have something in common, whether it be their taste in music, the activities they participate in, or their outlook on life. Whatever it is, you can feel it in the air as Eddie’s voice pierces through you, joining the alcohol in heightening your senses. You have to admit, he looks fantastic up there. You hadn’t known what to expect from a band of high schoolers, but you surely aren’t disappointed. By the third song, you’ve joined the tiny mosh pit that’s formed in the middle of the basement, free of any judgment from your peers.

—

Eddie’s POV

“Thank you guys for hanging out with us. We have one more week before this year is over, let’s make the rest of it count!” Gareth exclaims into his microphone, doing his job as the host. “Bonfire will start outside in ten, beer’s in the cooler. We got one more song for you, and we’re pretty sure you’ll know this one!” The lights go off again, a spotlight on where Eddie will soon stand. Right now, he’s “backstage,” which is really just in the laundry room, separated from the rest of the basement by a large tarp. He has his guitar securely around his neck, fingers lightly resting on the frets. Gareth does his count, and Eddie starts in with The Trooper. It’s Eddie’s favorite Iron Maiden song, so he made it his mission to perfect it on guitar to play at a Corroded Coffin show. He almost settled for playing it at The Hideout to their normal crowd of drunk plant workers, but meeting you motivated him to play it for his peers instead.

Seeing you enjoy yourself like that gives Eddie a sense of relief, and he feels proud of his clan of nerds for being enjoyable company. Now, he thinks, I can relax and really let ‘em have it. He leans into the microphone, letting loose the strongest scream he can muster as an avid smoker. The crowd responds with whoops and hollers, and Eddie hears your whistle over all of it.

The song ends after a ripping five minutes, and the band take their bows. The crowd’s stench of sweat and alcohol is pungent, as Eddie is sure his own is. He waves one final goodbye from the stage, still looking for you in the process. He spots you in the back of the crowd, laughing with… Is that fucking Steve Harrington?

—

Your POV

“No, I swear to god, she sounds like a muppet.” Steve continues his story about Tammy Thompson, one of what seems like many of Steve’s conquests. You’re half listening, not intending to be rude to your friend’s best friend, but you’re also trying to search for Eddie amongst the crowd of sweaty teenagers. You’re drenched yourself, having removed your jacket and t-shirt, now only wearing a black ribbed tank top, letting your pits air out and your damp skin dry.

You’re finally about to interrupt Steve, who’s now chatting to someone whose name you never caught, but someone else does it for you.

“Hey.” The voice comes from right behind your ear, otherwise you wouldn’t have heard him.

You spin, a little too quickly, to face who you can now only see as a fucking rockstar. “Hi.”

Steve peeks over your shoulder. “Hi!” He smiles, but you and Eddie both shoot him irritated glares, causing him to raise his hands in surrender. “Oh. OH! Okay, I get it. I’m gonna go uh, find Nance. You two have fun!” He winks at you before turning on his heel.

“What’d you think?” Eddie captures your attention again. You’re migrating from the basement to the storm door, leading out to the bonfire that’s started. You stop in a quieter part of the basement to finish the conversation.

When you look at him, your stomach jumps into your throat. He still hasn’t put his shirt back on. Girls from other schools, other counties even, are about ten feet away from you both, gawking at his shimmering skin. He’s not paying any attention to them, though. His eyes are glued on you as he lights a cigarette.

“You guys were great! I’m having a lot of fun, actually. Thank you for inviting me. Full disclosure, in the spirit of the New Year or whatever, you weren’t the first one to ask me to come.”

Eddie’s face falls. “Who else asked you?”

“Robin! I didn’t tell her yes until I found out you were coming, though.” You look at the floor when you say the last part, suddenly shy.

Eddie doesn’t answer, so you look back at his face to find him staring at you, the smallest smile on his lips. You bite your own, afraid to put your foot back in your mouth.

“That’s flattering, considering we don’t really know each other.” He says finally. He takes a long drink of his beer.

“It kind of feels like we do, no?” You pluck the half finished cigarette from his fingers and take a drag, leaving Eddie with his empty fingers raised to his parted lips. “Rumor has it tobacco isn’t all you smoke. Got anything else on you? I have cash.” You excuse your own boldness with the excuse that you’re drunk. You only know he’s the school’s dealer thanks, again, to Robin and her big mouth. You’re thankful for it, if it means you can get Eddie even more alone.

“Y- Yeah, definitely, it’s in my van if you wanna-“

“Sure, absolutely, let me just go find Robin.” You hustle outside to deliver the update. You find Robin cuddled on a giant log with Nancy, who’s sandwiched between her and Steve, who’s busy roasting a marshmallow.

“Hey,” You tap Robin on the shoulder.

“Hi! Where’d you go? I figured you were with Eddie and I didn’t wanna intrude, but then I got kind of worried, I was about to come look for you!”

“Oh, no worries, I was with Eddie. I’m uh, actually gonna go hang out with him a little more, if that’s okay? I don’t wanna ditch you guys though.”

“Nah, go ahead, the party just started. We’ll be here! If we aren’t, something horrible must have happened to us.” You give Robin’s shoulder a squeeze, then wave to Nancy and Steve before jogging back into the basement. Eddie has put his shirt back on, much to the gratitude of your hormones, and is spinning his key ring on his finger.

“Ready to light up, sweetheart?”

“As I’ll ever be.”

—-

Eddie’s POV

Eddie’s heart is pounding. He isn’t used to the lurching in his chest when he’s near you. He’s just so fucking tired of falling for someone, only for them to find out and run away from him. He knows he’s an easy target: He’s a nerd who likes heavy music, fantasy role playing, and illegal substances. It doesn’t make the cruelty hurt any less, though.

He doesn’t feel that way around you. He feels safe, something he never expected. Before he lived with his uncle, Eddie was stuck at home committing crimes with his father, stealing cars and selling drugs to make a quick buck. Despite Eddie’s interests and appearance, he doesn’t superly enjoy being a criminal. Okay, he likes the drugs, but that shouldn’t make someone a delinquent.

“Welcome to my noble steed.” Eddie pats the side of the van, a giant dented rust bucket of a vehicle, the bottom half coated in dirt and dust from years of neglect. “She’s ugly, but she’s mine,” Eddie likes to tell people. He doesn’t say this to you, though, just opens the passenger side door for you to step up and into the car.

“Sorry for the mess, maid took the holiday off.” Eddie chuckles, referring to the mess of water bottles and food wrappers on the floor of his car. The backseat holds a broken amp and a Dungeon Master’s binder, which he catches you eyeing. “You play?”

“I haven’t in, god, six years? I used to play with my friends in middle school, but we all grew apart, they got boyfriends and I got… depressed.” You snort, but Eddie’s not laughing. “I’m okay now! Mostly!” You try to reassure him, you’re way too drunk to be having an emotional conversation with a mostly-stranger.

Eddie doesn’t pry for more, but he desperately wants to know everything about you. Instead, he settles for having you here, in his van with him, about to get absolutely zooted.

—

Your POV

Eddie digs around the floor of his backseat for awhile, eventually returning with a black metal lunchbox. He places it in his lap, twisting his body to face you as he dramatically unlatches the case, letting loose the stench of marijuana in his already dank van. “I can do like 20 for half an ounce, stuff’s pretty good too.” He’s all business, but it wasn’t really your intention to buy and ditch.

“I… I don’t know how to roll.” This is a bold faced lie. You spent your entire summer last year teaching yourself how to roll joints because there was nothing else to do. It was the only thing you’re convinced you’re an expert at. But you’d prefer to sacrifice your pride if it means more time with Eddie.

“Seriously? I can teach you, if you want? I’ll roll one for us now, then you can decide what you wanna do?” You nod, trying not to give your excitement away. Eddie pulls a small metal tray out of his drug box, along with a packet of papers, a grinder, and a dime bag. You watch him closely, his hands confident as they stuff the flower into the paper. He talks you through every step, and you listen like you’ve never seen something like this before, nodding and “hm”ing where appropriate. The feminist part of you is heavily disappointed right now.

“Tada!” Eddie presents what you would consider a sub par joint, and you applaud like he’s the most genius pothead you’ve ever met. “I want you to hit it first, you’re the guest after all.” He pats his many pockets before turning up a silver lighter. “The only good thing Dad ever gave me.” He says, and you can tell, he immediately regrets saying. You don’t acknowledge it, not wanting to invade his privacy without his sober consent, and you’re not getting that tonight.

Instead, you take the joint from his fingers and raise it to your lips. He holds the lighter out for you, but you shake your head. “I always end up burning my hair,” another lie, “could you light it for me?” You look up at him from behind your lashes, and even in the dimness of the car light you can tell he’s flushed.

Finally, Eddie nods, flicking the lighter and bringing it up to the joint held in your lips. You watch as he lights it, careful not to get too close to you even though you desperately want him to. You inhale the smoke, holding the sweetness in your lungs for a while before exhaling and passing it back to Eddie.

You both sit in silence for awhile, passing the joint back and forth, taking turns choosing which tape to listen to, before Eddie finally says, “What’s Boston like?” It’s a loaded question, but you’re intoxicated with nowhere else you’d rather be, so you humor him.

“Loud. Intense. Filled with anger, usually. I fit right in, which makes me miss it, but I didn’t have much going for me there.” Eddie’s listening to every word you’re saying, which makes you nervous to the point of babbling. “My friends were fine, but I didn’t have many of them. All their parents thought I was a horrible influence.”

“Why would they think that?”

“I mean, look at me!” You gesture to your outfit, laughing at the absurdity of his question. Eddie raises an eyebrow. “I mean, I’m lucky I found you. A- and Robin, and Steve and Nancy. Otherwise I’d be doomed in Hawkins.”

“Yeah, Hawkins is a little… old fashioned, I guess. I can’t lie and say you won’t get shit for dressing that way. I still do, and I’ve looked like this for my entire six year high school career.”

“I’d rather get shit than conform and be unhappy.” You shrug. You’ve gotten shit for your clothes plenty of times, but it’s never stopped you from wearing them.”

“That’s what I’m saying!” Eddie exclaims, killing the roach. You look at each other, the tension between you strengthening. You want to make a move, more than anything, but before you can there’s a banging on Eddie’s passenger side window. You wipe the fog that’s accumulated on the glass, finding Jason Carver and his cronies behind it.

“Oh, fuck.” You hear Eddie mumble.

chapter III

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