#half smoke egg and cheese

[steddiealltheway]

Steve is forced by his parents to go to a New Year’s work event where he knows no one. And before he goes, his mother gives him a rundown of the general rules of his behavior - including not eating or drinking anything there. She doesn’t want to risk him spilling anything on his expensive suit or embarrassing her with the way he eats.

So Steve goes to the event and is entirely miserable. His parents ditch him early on and he just wanders around the venue making brief small talk with some of his parents' coworkers. He sticks to his mother’s main topics - his age, lying about where he goes to college and what he’s studying, and the damn weather.

The food looks absolutely enticing, but it seems like every time he wants to sneak something off a platter the caterers are bringing around, his mother is watching him. So he adverts his eyes, keeping his gaze low but then his father comes by to whisper how he looks too submissive and not like a man, so he’s forced to straighten up.

Then he spots him, a caterer scowling as he attempts to balance a platter while blowing a strand of dark, curly hair out of his face. His hair is messily tied up in a bun he looks like he was forced to wear along with a suit he keeps pulling at. Steve has never felt like he’s related to someone more.

The man’s doe eyes land on Steve, catching him staring at him, and Steve quickly looks away and back towards his parents. To his surprise, they aren’t looking at him to mess up for once, too busy seemingly sucking up to someone “important.”

Steve takes the opportunity to glance back over at the man, but instead of finding him where he used to be, he’s steadily approaching him - platter of what looks to be fancy skewed meatballs in hand. Steve has never been more miserable by his mother’s rules - no eating and absolutely no talking to the caterers.

By now the man is in front of him, scowl gone and replaced with a soft smile as he offers him the platter. Steve politely shakes his head with a tight smile. The man frowns, and Steve wonders if he saw how intently he was eyeing the food before he declined. Nonetheless, the caterer continues on, even passing by his parents who both grab a skewer after the person who they’re talking to does.

Steve’s hands flex and he pinches his nose as he continues on, trying to push down the bubbling anger. He runs into a different couple and has the same damn conversation all over again before moving on to the next.

But then it happens again, the man with the messy bun and small dimples approaches him with a different platter - this time with smoked salmon. Steve politely refuses again, and the man’s frown tugs a little deeper.

For the next half hour, it’s as if the man is following him around, different platter each time - shrimp tartlets, deviled eggs, caprese salad kabobs, crab cake stuffed mushrooms, bacon-wrapped apricots, chocolate covered cheese, cheesecake bites…. All of which Steve politely refuses as the man frowns at him as if personally offended.

As the party drags on, Steve gets more and more bored and antsy. He just feels so shut in and hangry and he needs to get air. Whoever’s mansion they’re in has to have some type of balcony, so Steve wanders some more, spotting the staircase he’s passed several times, red rope making it off limits.

There’s a bit of commotion when the champagne tower comes out, and as everyone is distracted, Steve easily steps over the rope and sneaks up the stairs. When he’s hidden from sight, he lets out a sigh of relief and continues his search. He quickly finds a suspicious set of curtains on a wall, and he pulls them back.

Perfect. The doors are simple and white but to Steve’s surprise they slide apart. Dramatic. But it’s a balcony. He makes his way outside, closing the curtains and doors behind him before he takes in a breath of cold air. He feels better already.

There are two white chairs that look beautiful but incredibly uncomfortable, so Steve settles for sitting on the ground, putting his legs between the slats on the balcony railing, and glancing down at the large outdoor pool. Happy new year to him. He sighs.

The door behind him opens, and Steve whips his head around ready to be chewed out by his family or the owner.

“Shhh,” the server shushes him dramatically putting a finger to his mouth. He sets a platter filled with various finger foods down on the balcony table then closes the curtains and door behind him.

Steve stares unsure of what to do or say. His heart thuds in his chest. “So, here’s the thing,” the man says, “all night I’ve seen you practically drooling over this food, but every time you’ve refused it. At first, I thought maybe you were vegetarian, but then you refused the meatless options. Then I thought you might have some type of weird allergies, but then you refused the food that was specifically made for that. So, my question is, why are you not eating?”

Steve stares at him for a moment and finally replies, “My mother told me not to.”

The man's eyebrows pinch together. “Do you want food?”

“Desperately."

The man smiles brightly and dramatically gestures to the tray. “Voila!”

Steve glances at the tray with items stacked on top of each other because it seems like the other man ran out of space when making it. “That’s all for me?” Steve asks with the first smile of the day tugging at his lips.

The man picks up the platter and sets it next to Steve, sitting beside him. "I snuck a few bites for myself throughout the party, so yes." Steve laughs and immediately digs into the platter. "Good choice on the French rosemary chicken linguini," the man says.

Steve gives him a look while finishing chewing. "I thought this was steak."

"This is why they pay me not to speak," the man says with a cheeky grin. "I'm Eddie by the way."

"Steve," he replies, holding out his hand for Eddie to shake. Eddie grabs it and kisses the back of it. Steve laughs, "You're strange, you know that?"

"Absolutely," Eddie replies and leans in to bump his shoulder against Steve's.

They continue chatting, with Eddie spewing out some random name for whatever Steve is sampling. Every time it manages to make Steve laugh which in turn makes Eddie smile wider and scoot closer. And whenever Steve tries something he absolutely hates, Eddie will have part of the other half and either shame Steve for his horrible picky taste or break the food apart to toss through the slats to see who can get closer to getting their piece in the pool. Steve wins that game a lot.

When the food starts thinning out, Steve tells Eddie how he partially wishes the lies his mother told him to tell the others were true. How he wishes he was in college doing something instead of staying at home because he hadn't gotten into any college. Eddie tells him how he flunked out three times before he dropped out of high school. The catering job is just for the night as he samples around what he wans to do. Steve admires him for that.

They make plans as if they were going to run away together. Where they would go and what they would do if they could. Steve would teach kids and Eddie would play guitar for a living. As the night goes on, Steve is almost convinced that their dreams could maybe become a reality.

From the balcony, they can hear the distant cheers of a New Year's countdown. "Think we could do it this year?" Steve asks, countdown to eight.

"Run away together?" Eddie asks, countdown six.

"And make the life we want," Steve replies sincerely, countdown to four.

Eddie pauses and considers for a moment. "I would love to," he replies and leans forward, countdown to one.

Steve meets him in the middle and kisses him as if it this was possible and he could turn his dreams into a reality. He breaks away and whispers, "Happy New Year, Eddie."

"Happy New Year, Steve," Eddie replies smiling against his lips.

Steve kisses him again knowing his parents are going to be screaming at him later, but it won't matter when he's packing his bags for the New Year.

#steddie #steddie ficlet #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things

[stayandot8]

Emergency Contact

Genre: comfort fluff, chan's having a rough time

Relationship type: established boyfriend/girlfriend

Important Contents: slight swearing, Chan going through the stages of a panic/anxiety attack

WC: 2.4k

masterlist

The small moments I could sneak my boyfriend away from his work were few and far between. The few times it did work were a perfect storm of my big puppy eyes or a smile with just the right amount of head tilt and his need to get away from it all. Sometimes it was a member annoying him past his limit, sometimes it was his musical ear being drained and needing inspiration from the outside world. Other times, I was just too insistent and he couldn’t resist. Or so he said. But when he sat silently across the cafe table, watching the people pass by, I wondered which it was. 

“Chris?” I nudged his foot with mine, his attention snapping back to me and my plastic cup of motivation to get the day done. His eyes were big, silently asking what I nudged him for then his shoulders slumped as realization hit him. 

“I’m sorry, baby. I know I’m not the best company right now.” His gaze landed on his untouched pastry in front of him. I glanced at it, a sad smile involuntarily creeping on my face. It’s not as though he was usually talkative, but at least he looked at me from time to time. 

“It’s okay, you just seem more distracted than usual. Is it Han again? Do I need to have another talk with him? Or Minnie? Is he making more old jokes? I swear, with all the karma he’s banking, he’ll go gray before you do.” Finally. A chuckle. A small sigh of relief escaped me as I watched him break off a piece of the croissant in front of him. I didn’t even know if he had eaten earlier. “You left before I got up this morning. Or did you sleep at the studio again?”

“I tried to sleep with you for a few hours but I didn’t really sleep that well.”

“Have you eaten today?” His hand stopped, his face dropping. “Christopher.” He looked like a kid who had been caught stealing cookies. “Please tell me this croissant is not the first time you’re eating today.” He didn’t move. “Christopher! It’s four in the afternoon!”

He laughed sheepishly, slightly embarrassed by the pink tint to his cheeks. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry, it wasn’t on purpose.” He shook his head at his lap. I could only shake my head at him, a mixture of slight disappointment and exasperation clear. 

“Well you know I have to get another for you before you go, right? Even if I have to sneak it in your bag, you’re taking it. Maybe a sandwich too. Or a cake pop…”

“Hey now.” He broke me of my train of thought, that dazzling smile of his making my heart skip a beat. “I can buy my own food, thank you very much.”

“Well apparently not. Now do you want a sausage, egg, and cheese or a smoked ham?”

“I don’t want anything else than what I have in front of me.” He tried to wink at me too, but I was having none of it. 

“Tell me which one you want or I’m getting both. And a cake pop.”

“Baby-” I got out of my seat and grabbed my wallet before he could continue his thought and half-sprinted for the counter, him hot on my tail. Luckily for me, the last person in line had just finished and was walking away, leaving the perfect window for me to rush straight to the girl behind the counter. 

“Hi, can I get both the sausage egg, and cheese and the toasted ham breakfast sandwiches? Thank you.” As the payment terminal flashed with my total and within the two seconds it took to unzip my wallet, Chan had slipped his card on top of the screen. The terminal beeped with the acceptance of payment. I slapped Chan on his arm. Hard.

“Oh you’re so going to pay for that later.” He playfully smirked at me, staring at the screen to avoid my eyes. 

“I thought I just did.” 

*

*Incoming call from: Channie ❣️*

“Hello?” 

Sniffles met me on the other line. My body immediately went still, ready to jump wherever I was needed. My world stopped when Chan was in trouble. Or anxious. Or pissed. Which, all of these emotions aside, he was a generally happy guy so it didn’t happen a lot. But when it did…

“Chris? Are you okay?” I whispered into my phone, trying not to let my voice carry to any prying ears that might be nearby. I stopped in the middle of the sidewalk quickly finding a bench off to the side to sit and put my bag down. There were more wet sounds coming from the phone, which only worried me more. He tried to be strong for us, for me and his bandmates. He tried not to let his emotions out too much, but I made sure he knew that I would be there when he did need to let them out. And this was the first time he was letting me in.

“Send me your location, I’m on my way. Don’t move, okay? I’ll be there soon.” I gathered my stuff again, ready to put down my phone to see his location. 

“Don’t hang up.” More sniffles. A little part of me felt guilty for feeling relieved at being needed by him. I had always felt it was me going to him for my big feelings about the world. But this… This was new.

“I won’t. Where are you? Can you tell me where you are?” 

“Studio.” He choked out. I nodded like he could see me and started in a slight sprint, knowing the way from the store I had just left, picking up some last minute shopping for the holidays. Luckily, I hadn’t found much, so I didn’t have many bags to carry while I ran. 

“Chris, I’m on my way. Just stay put, okay? I’m coming. I’m not hanging up. Just breathe for me, baby. Take a deep breath whenever you can.” I heard some small whimpers coming from what sounded like further away, like he had set the phone down away from him. Whether he was trying to hide whatever noise he was making or what, I didn’t know. He hadn’t done a very good job because I heard everything. My veins tightened with the sudden rush of anxious adrenaline washing through me. Some ragged breaths came through the phone as the tall building I was running for came into view. The big letters on the top loomed overhead, like a constant reminder of its founder and the expectations set forth by it. 

Sometimes some of the members would talk about how said expectations were too much sometimes. They felt like they couldn’t be fully themselves under the wing of such close eyes, so they would find ways to channel that energy into other things. Most of the time it was through their music, others it was through vlogs or what they called ‘talkers’ or outings with each other. Concerts were a big thing with them too. They had less supervision on tour, so they felt they could get away with more on the road. Should they ever push it too far, there were always consequences waiting for them here at home, but never so severe that they stopped pushing their boundaries. I guess anyone would feel that way if they had to push down the parts of themselves that made them...them.

Pushing through that revolving door, I waved at the security at the front desk and grabbed my permanent guest badge that Chris had saved for me to come in whenever he was here. As long as he was, I was free to enter. I wasn’t sure what deal he had to cut to get me this pass, but I figured that in my case, ignorance was bliss. Holding the phone to my ear, I pointed to it and strolled/sprinted  past them and into the elevator. 

“Just keep trying to breathe for me, okay? I need you to try and take a breath. You might start to get a little shaky if you haven’t already. But I’m here, I’m getting in the elevator now, I’m coming.” As the elevator dinged open to let out whoever was in there, Han stepped out, head down in his phone and mask up and covering half his face. He looked up and nodded to me, clearly not surprised I was here. If he didn’t say anything to me, then I assumed he didn’t know anything that was happening to the boy on the other end of my phone line. He would’ve been a good one to call seeing as he dealt with this kind of stuff the most to my knowledge. 

Whatever force that pushed him to call me instead of one of his members, I wasn’t going to question it. I knocked softly on the studio door and let myself in. I looked around in the recording room, looking for the same boy I had seen earlier, his familiar black hat and clothing not catching my eye. But what I did see was an open file on the computer, open with the music application and unfinished. I turned once more to see my boyfriend, curled up in a ball and rocking against the wall. His phone was balancing precariously on his knee that was tucked into his chest and his head was resting on the wall with his eyes shut, like he was willing himself to calm down and keep his breathing under control. He wasn’t doing a very good job. It looked like…well, it looked like the aftermath of a panic attack. 

“Chris… Chris, baby, I’m right here.” I shoved off my bag and threw it on the couch, where it landed with a small thud. I tossed my phone on top of it. I knelt down to be eye level with him and placed my hands on his bare knees, his loose shorts had ridden up down near his upper thighs. I thought the skin contact would be better to ground him, letting him feel that I was there if he couldn’t hear me very well. I squeezed his knee with slight pressure, just in case. His cheeks were visibly wet while he tried to breathe through his mouth. I watched his chest try to rise and fall, stuttering on the way out. His lips pursed out as he breathed, his hands latching onto mine on his knees. He gripped them like he thought I would fly away if he let go. I turned my hands over to thread our fingers together and he lowered his knees and pulled me by our connected hands so that I was sitting in his lap. He only let go of my hands when I was fully in and he could wrap himself around me fully. 

I started rubbing his back, letting my nails graze him while my other hand went to the back of his head. He tucked his head into my shoulder until his breath was tickling the tiny hairs on my neck. I kissed the side of his head that I could reach. 

 And we stayed there.

*

“Any idea what brought it on? Or did it just come on out of nowhere?” 

We were still on the floor, not quite as entangled as we were before but I was still in his lap, chomping on the food we had ordered bit by bit. I wouldn’t let him stop until I felt like he had actually eaten what was close to a meal, especially when I saw both sandwiches from the shop we went to this afternoon untouched in his bag. I might’ve had to force the first couple bites on him but a girlfriend had to do what she had to do, especially when he then ‘playfully’ demanded she spoon-feed him herself. He still wasn’t back to himself, but he was getting there.

“No idea.” He said softly, chewing through his thoughts. “Nothing really happened, I just…” He trailed off. 

“It’s okay, Chan. Shit just…comes up sometimes. I know, I get it. These things can come out of nowhere and grip you and not let you go until it’s run its course. Maybe today was just your day.” He nodded in agreement, staring at the wall. 

He had one hand wrapped around my waist, half to keep me steady on his leg and half, what I believed to be the real reason, because he simply didn’t want to let go. But the other hand he was resting on his opposite thigh. Every so often he would pick at his cuticle with one of his fingers but quickly stopped, probably thinking I wouldn’t notice. 

“Do you think it had something to do with the upcoming album? Is it finished?” I pondered out loud. He quickly shook his head though, diminishing the thought. 

“No, the album is done and approved. It wouldn’t be that.” If I had known any better, I would think he was almost offended I would suggest such a thing. And in his normal state, he might have been. “Even the choreography is done. The concept art, the photocard selection, it’s all done. I don’t know what happened.” His voice was slowly getting stronger as he thought what could be the source of his panic. “I don’t know. I really don’t.”

“You know, not everything has to have a reason.” He shrugged, not really liking that answer. “But I’m happy you called me.” He smiled softly at the floor.

“You were on my mind. You’re always on my mind. I just wanted to hear your voice. That was the only thing I could think of that might help, so I called you.” I couldn't fight my smile at that. And I tried hard. 

“I would’ve been happy if you called anybody instead of facing it alone. You don’t have to face all your strong, negative emotions alone. That’s what we’re here for; your friends and me. We’re here for the good, bad, and ugly.”

“But I knew you would answer. I know… that I can depend on you when I need you.”

“And I’m so happy you know that now. As a fact, not just an idea.” 

His arm grew tighter around me.

“If I ever go to the hospital or something, I’m making sure they call you.”

#stray kids #bang chan #skz #chan skz #skz bang chan #chan stray kids #chan x reader #chan x you #christopher bang #stray kids chris #chan fluff #chan angst #chan #bang chan x reader #bang chan boyfriend #bang chan scenarios #bang chan drabbles #chan drabbles #chan imagines #bang chan imagines #chan fic #bang chan fics #bang chan x female reader #bang chan x you #bang chan x y/n #stray kids imagine #stray kids chan fluff #stray kids channie #stray kids chan imagines #stray kids bang chan

[writingoddess1125]

You get high with them- 🍃 🚬

Support me on Ko-Fi

Luffy

You of course bought some edibles the last time you were on land. Now chilling jn bed you ate some and Luffy came in- Assuming the gummies were just normal candies he partook in some before you could give the warning.

He ate a easy 400mg and now is laying next to you as high as a kite. His gum gum abilities also being messed with by the edibles as he is quite literally dropping over the sides of the bed.

"My face feels heavy and fuzzy" He hums, blinking at you slowly.

You smile at him and giggled at his reactions.

"You're absolutely fucked up-"

He nods at this and just giggles as he lays there. Clearly a giggly high.

Sanji

You offer Sanji a bit from your joint while sitting in the kitchens. He accepts figuring it won't be that bad-

Sanji and you will talk with you for a while as you two shared the joint. When it hits him however- it hits him hard.

"This feels weird" He smirks at this and passes the joint back to you with a smirk. The man shows a whole new side of himself- were where he is just so chill and open! Super cool too.

"Yeah I do see Chef Zeff as my father. I'll never let him know since that would boost the old man's ego way to much- But I love the old guy"

Will come up with amazing cooking ideas and actually prepare them, often having music playing as he does so.

"(Y/N) I just got an amazing idea- what if I cake the creamy cheese sauce from the pasta and add it to ramen instead and top it with spicy seafood, a soft boiled egg and green onions. A cheesy spicy ramen"

Zoro

When you first offer to zoro he absolutely refuses- It isn't until a few weeks later when he sees you at it again does he agree. You make him a small joint to start out with and the two of you sit on the main deck under the stars and pass it back and forth.

He will start to get a bit chattier. Talking to you a bit more about random things- He smiles and giggles a bit more.

"This is a new experience for me- I usually don't want to dull my senses"

You take another kit and cough a bit, Waving the smoke.

"But you drink a fuck ton" You pass him back the joint and he nods.

"Touché"

Eventually however he gets sleepy, immediately turning into the sleepy high. Just laying on the deck half asleep and joining in humming a song with you.

Usopp

Truth be told- Usopp is the most open to the experience. He lies saying he does it before despite being fairly clean. However is interested in the opportunity!

Will be the one wanting to try a pipe- Which you will happily provide and the two of you will sit in the bottom haul of the ship and pass the pipe back and forth-

Usopp will actually start to yet honest with you- really really honest. It turning almost into a therapy session between the two of you.

"Man I really miss my Mum... she was just an amazing person and it makes me upset to think she only heard about how her son was a lying mess up instead lf someone great"

He admits, sadly looking at the pipe before taking another rip of the pipe.

"I'm sure she's proud of the man you are Usopp. You are a good guy and an amazing pirate" You praise, patting his shoulder.

He nods at this and smiles. Defiently a honest high Ironically.

Nami

Nami is no beginner- In her time away from Arlong she used to smoke to feel a bit of stress relief. So when you offer she comes prepared with her favorite bong.

Sitting together the two of you will talk for hours while taking massive hits of the bong. Eating snacks stolen from the kitchen as you play records.

"So- You think that Buggy can take off his dick?" You question watching Nami take another massive rip from the bong, holding it in for a good second as she nodded and releases the cloud of smoke.

"Abso-fucking-lutely he can. He said he would take every thing apart and I saw how small he had himself flying- There is no way he hasn't sent his cock through the air"

"Wait- so if every part... do you think Luffy can stretch his?"

You both burst out in hysterical laughter and continue to talk mindlessly. Nami is Defiently the social butterfly of highs, just laying out the best of conversations.

Buggy

You get caught by Buggy smoking at first- however he is fine with it and interested in what you could possibly be doing.

Buggy is more then willing to smoke with you, thinking this will be a fun experience for you all. It's an experience all right-

Let's say in stupid thoughts you guys get hotboxed in his bedroom. Buggy has his hair down and will be talking about random philosophy and sounding intelligent unlike his normal Goofy self.

"You know, I've always wondered how the system of devil fruits work?- if one can exist at a time say I die. Does that mean another Chop Chop fruit will appear? Who controls this?.. Does that mean a plant knows when I died?"

You nod at this, also curious of this question.

"You know, I never thought of that... wait wait- so Does that mean a plant is closer to a God then anything else if it knows when you die?"

You two will talk for hours about random questions, before stumbling to get some snacks in the middle of the night.

#x reader #one peice x reader #one piece #one peice live action #buggy the clown x reader #buggy one piece #buggy x reader #monkey d. luffy x reader #luffy x reader #one piece luffy #zoro headcanons #zoro x reader #roronoa zoro #one piece nami #nami #op nami #usopp x reader #god usopp #one piece usopp #sanji x you #op sanji #sanji x reader #one piece sanji #vinsmoke sanji

[wavypotatochips]

Hey girl, love your writings especially the Mbappe's ones. So maybe can I request one for him where he and the reader go shopping for their new home together and have the best time? Thank youuuu

𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐒𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐞 | 𝐊𝐲𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐌𝐛𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞

𝘗𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴: Kylian Mbappe x Female Reader

Word Count : 2.2k

𝘈𝘶𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘴 𝘕𝘰𝘵𝘦: My allergies have been terrible this week, and I've been sneezing so much that I've been getting headaches, so instead of writing 3-4 request , I was only able to write 2 this week c': hopefully my writing is still good c': ANYWAYSSSS This is my favorite gif of Mbappe- he is such a cutie patootie. Thank you so much for requesting!! I Hope you like how I represent your idea ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚!!

(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ REQUESTS ARE OPEN, currently covered in college work so as of now uploads will mainly be on weekends. Thank you for your patience c’: ♥

It's a beautiful Saturday morning, and you wake up feeling excited for the day ahead. Today, you and your boyfriend Kylian are going shopping for items to decorate your new house. You and Kylian recently bought a house together and you are both eager to make your home feel more comfortable and homely. You know that Kylian will be waking up soon, and you want to surprise him with a delicious breakfast. You head to the kitchen to see what ingredients you have on hand. As you start rummaging through the fridge, you notice that you have some eggs, cheese, and bacon. Perfect! You decide to make an omelet and bacon for the two of you. You take out a frying pan and place it on the stove, turning the heat to medium-high. You start cooking the bacon in a separate pan, savoring the sound and smell of it sizzling. As the bacon cooks, you start preparing the omelet. You crack four eggs into a bowl and whisk them together. You then add a pinch of salt, pepper, and some shredded cheese to the eggs, and stir everything together. Once the bacon is cooked to your liking, you take it out of the pan and place it on a plate lined with paper towels. You then pour the egg mixture into the frying pan and start cooking the omelet. You wait for a few minutes until the bottom of the omelet starts to set, then fold it in half with a spatula.

As the omelet continues to cook, Kylian enters the kitchen with a sleepy smile on his face. "Good morning, love," he says, giving you a quick kiss on the cheek, wrapping his arms around you. "Good morning, sleepyhead," you reply, grinning at him. "I'm making breakfast for us." Kylian's eyes light up at the sight of the bacon and omelet. "It smells amazing," he says, kissing your temple once more before sitting down at the table. You place the omelet and bacon on a plate, along with some buttered toast, and bring it over to the table. You both start eating, enjoying the delicious meal and each other's company.

“So I was thinking we could go to the new Plaza a couple minutes from here and stop at Ikea maybe for furniture stuff,” you say, taking a sip of your coffee. 

"And we should also get some plants for the balcony." Kylian says, taking a bite of the omelet. "This is so good, baby. You're an amazing cook." You smile at the compliment and decide to tease him a little.

"Thanks Babe. Please keep in mind that I'm the only one who is permitted to cook due to what happened the last time."

You wink at him and take another mouthful while he glares at you. The last time Kylian attempted to surprise you with supper, he accidentally burned the turkey in the oven, and when you got home, the whole house was smoking.

He jokingly whines, "Hey it was a one time thing, I'm a new man now," making you laugh. After finishing breakfast, you both clean up the kitchen together, feeling grateful for this moment of shared domesticity. You know that cooking and eating together is one of the many ways you show love and care for each other, and you feel happy knowing that you have each other to share these small but meaningful moments with. After breakfast, you and your boyfriend Kylian get ready to go shopping for items for your house. As you both start getting dressed, you realize you haven't really discussed what you're going to wear.

You turn to Kylian and ask, "Hey, what are you planning on wearing?." Kylian laughs, "I don't know……. I know the weather is nice outside so maybe we can wear white and navy?" He is aware that you inquired about his outfit because you frequently tried to coordinate with him; he thinks it's cute. You nod in agreement, "Okay, that sounds good to me! I'll put on my white jean shorts and that navy polo shirt I got."

Kylian smiles, "You are going to look so beautiful." You both finish getting dressed and head out the door, making sure to grab your phone and wallet. As you walk to the car, Kylian asks, "What stores are we hitting up first?" You reply, "I was thinking we should start with the home goods store" Kylian nods, "That's a good idea. We need some new plates and glasses."

As you drive to the store, you discuss what styles and colors you want to go for with the new home items. Kylian suggests getting some brighter colors to liven up the space, while you suggest sticking to more neutral tones for a classic look.

You unbuckle your seatbelt and wait patiently in the car as Kylian gets out and walks around the car to unlock your door. You could have easily just opened the door yourself, but Kylian dislikes it when you do it since he likes to act like a "gentleman." As  you watch him open the door, you smile and say, "Thank you, handsome." "Anything for m'lady," he says in a strange accent as he smiles and winks at you. This makes you laugh. After you lock the car, you grasp his hand and start to walk together.

As you and your boyfriend Kylian walk into the home goods store, you feel a sense of excitement and anticipation bubbling up inside you. You've been dreaming of decorating your new home together ever since you moved in a few weeks ago, and now you finally have the chance to make it a reality. Kylian takes your hand as you wander down the first aisle, his eyes scanning the shelves for inspiration. "What do you think about this?" he asks, holding up a set of brightly patterned throw pillows.

You take a closer look, running your fingers over the soft fabric. "I like them," you say, "but I think maybe something a little more neutral would be better. We don't want the living room to be too busy." Kylian nods in agreement and sets the pillows back on the shelf. "Good point. What about these curtains?" he asks, pointing to a set of deep blue panels. You consider them for a moment, picturing them hanging in your front window.

"I like the color, but I think we should go for something a little more lightweight. We want to let in as much natural light as possible." Kylian nods again and continues down the aisle, his eyes scanning the shelves for more inspiration. As you follow him, you catch sight of a set of silver candlesticks, their delicate curves glinting in the fluorescent light. "Oh, those are beautiful," you say, reaching out to pick them up. Kylian turns back to you, his eyes lighting up as he sees the candlesticks in your hands.

"Yes! Those would look great on our dining room table. We could get some white taper candles to go with them." You could tell that Kylian is enjoying this just as much as you do. You smile, nodding in agreement and set the candlesticks in your basket, feeling a sense of satisfaction as you do. This is what it's like to make a home together, you think to yourself. To build a space that's uniquely yours, that reflects your personality and your style. As you and Kylian continue to wander through the store, your basket gradually filling up with pillows, curtains, and other household items, you feel a sense of contentment settling over you. This is where you're meant to be, you realize. With Kylian, in this new home that you're building together.

To avoid having to carry the bags around continually after checking out, you and Kylian take the luggage to the car before returning to the shopping center and entering a different store. Kylian wastes no time in heading over to the men's section, his eyes scanning the shelves for something that catches his eye. "What about this?" he asks, holding up a bright red button-down shirt.

You take a look and give him a sly grin. "You'd definitely stand out in that," you tease.

Kylian rolls his eyes, but you can tell he's enjoying the banter. "Okay, okay, what about this?" he says, holding up a more subdued navy blue polo shirt.

"That's more like it," you say, giving him a nod of approval.

As Kylian continues to peruse the men's section, you head over to the women's side of the store, your eyes scanning the shelves for something that catches your eye. You pick out a few items and make your way to the fitting rooms, where Kylian is waiting for you.

"How does this look?" you ask, stepping out in a flowy floral dress. 

Kylian's eyes light up as he sees you. "Wow, you look amazing," he says, his voice filled with genuine admiration. You can feel a flush rising to your cheeks as you spin around, admiring yourself in the mirror. "You think so?" you say, feeling a sudden surge of confidence.

Kylian nods emphatically. "Definitely. You should get it." As you continue to try on different outfits, you and Kylian trade opinions and jokes, enjoying each other's company and the fun of trying on new clothes. By the time you're ready to check out, your arms are full of bags and your hearts are full of joy. As you walk out of the store, Kylian takes your hand and gives it a squeeze. "As much as I love shopping with you, I would love some frozen yogurt in my stomach," he says, a wide smile spreading across his face as he nudges his head towards the nearby froyo. You nod in agreement, “Oh my gosh yes I haven't had frozen yogurt in so long!,” you happily say. The brightly lit store with colorful toppings and various flavors of yogurt make you feel happy and cheerful. Kylian heads straight to the toppings bar, and you follow suit, picking up a cup and filling it with your favorite flavor of yogurt. Kylian piles on the toppings, from chocolate chips to fresh strawberries to whipped cream.

"Looks like someone has a sweet tooth," you tease, grinning at him.

Kylian chuckles, "You know it."

As you both settle down at a table, you can't help but feel grateful for moments like this. Simple moments where you can enjoy each other's company and have fun. Kylian takes a spoonful of yogurt and looks over at you, his eyes shining with mischief. "I have an idea," he says.

"What's that?" you ask, intrigued.

"We should have a taste test. We'll try each other's yogurt cups and see who has the better combination of toppings," Kylian suggests.

You laugh, "Oh, it's on."

For the next few minutes, you both take turns trying each other's yogurt and ranking them. The chocolate chips and strawberries combination was your favorite, and Kylian loved the gummy bears and sprinkles on top of yours. As you finish up your yogurt, you both feel a sense of joy and playfulness. You enjoy being with each other and having fun together.

"I would say our shopping trip has been successful," you say, feeling grateful for the day spent with him.

Kylian grins, "It definitely has been. I love spending time with you, every moment with you is special."

As you both head out of the store, hand in hand, you can't help but feel grateful for the love and happiness in your life. Moments like this, no matter how simple, will always be cherished.

Later at night, you sink down onto your bed with a contented sigh, feeling tired but happy after a day spent with your boyfriend Kylian. Even though you promised to stay up and wait for Kylian to finish his shower, the exhaustion was starting to get to you.

You can't help but smile as you think back to the fun you had shopping for clothes and new furniture together. As you kick off your house slippers and snuggle under the covers, you replay the day's events in your mind. You remember how Kylian had helped you pick out the perfect outfit. You remember how you had found the perfect accent pillow for your living room, and how Kylian had been there to give his opinion and help you choose the right one.But what you remember most is the laughter and joy you shared together. The silly moments of trying on outrageous outfits, the playful banter as you compared your decorating styles, and how could you forget about the delicious frozen yogurt. As you close your eyes, you feel a sense of gratitude wash over you. You are grateful for Kylian and the love and companionship he brings into your life. You are grateful for the fun you had today and the memories you created together. And you are grateful for the quiet moment of reflection before you drift off to sleep. You snuggle deeper into your pillows and blankets, feeling your body relax as you let go of the day's stresses. You are ready to rest, to recharge, and to wake up tomorrow feeling refreshed and ready for whatever comes your way.

With a smile on your face and a warm feeling in your heart, you drift off to sleep, knowing that no matter what tomorrow brings, you and Kylian will face it together, with laughter and love in your hearts.

#kylian x reader #kylian mbappe #kylian imagines #kylian mbappe x you #kylian mbappe x y/n #kylian mbappe fanfic #kylian mbappe fluff #mbappe imagine #mbappe x reader #mbappe x you #mbappe one shot #mbappe icons #mbappe fanfic #mbappe psg #mbappe fluff #kylian mbappe x reader #kylian x you #kyky #mbappe x female reader #football fanfic #footballer x reader #soccer x reader #x reader #psg imagines #female reader #football imagine #soccer imagine #x reader fluff

[nathandrakeisabottom]

Yesss please sam drake food/eating hcs?? Fave meals, hated meals, etc

It is with great joy and great belatedness that I post my first Uncharted piece in ages. Thank you for the lovely ask, anon. :)

⋆ Sam Drake - Eating Headcanons ⋆

Two words: scarcity mindset.

After running away from Saint Frances’s, to claim money was tight is to be telling some humorous bit, Money was borderline non-existent. And as such, came what the Drake boys do best: theft. 

Liquor stores were their easiest, and most consistent source. Sam still takes great pride in telling his many stories revolving around ‘cashier meet-cutes’ disguising their proudest heist to date: a 12-year-old Nathan smuggling canned goods under a moth-holed hoodie. 

Because of this, gas station snacks: twinkies, Lays chips, slurpees, etc. all tend to give him this simultaneous sense of nostalgia and nausea. Like when you’re eating eggs and all of a sudden, your body gags on the next bite.

But on an especially shitty day, expect him to be gobbling a Big Gulp and a half-frozen hot dog on the nearest street corner, with a half-smoked cigarette still sunken between his lips. It’s the way he wallows. 

Secretly wants you to tell him how bad that shit is for him so he has an excuse to snottily spat back “who the ‘ell cares?”. He finds pride in not caring about anything. (He cares about everything.)

Getting fast food at the drive-thru? Man waves you off a total of three times claiming he doesn’t want nothing before proceeding to eat half of your McNuggets without asking. He loves BBQ sauce and needs Tabasco on everything like it’s his will to live.

Big fan of spicy, sour, and tart, anything that makes your mouth pucker. Pretzels, salt and vinegar chips, cottage cheese, pickles, pineapple (😉). “What can I say? I admire a fruit that fights back!” — he snorts before taking a raw bite of a lemon, just to squirm you out.

Maybe a bit of the masochist in him. 

When he and Nate were able to get proper gigs (12-year-old Nathan: illegally, of course), they were able to progress to the simplest of grocery outlet options. Eggs, instant ramen packets, canned vegetables that were 9 out of 10 times eaten raw out of the can with a fork, and more nothing-but-toast-for-dinner than they’d want to admit).

Sam and Nate spent most of their childhood eating their dad’s scrambled eggs and microwaved peas. When their mom passed, and dad released them to the state, Sam decided he’d only ever eat over-easy again.

Nate still chooses scrambled. He asks for cheese and green onions to split the difference, but always ends up only eating half of it before the memories come too strong and he has to push his plate away. 

QUICK eater. MESSY eater. And I mean quick and messy. 

Will use as minimal cutlery as possible, and if disposable, even better.

A scooper. Tends to be a chronic careless spiller with how frequently he tries to funnel all the last crumbs into his mouth, how quickly he chugs even a glass of water. (Most shirts of his are stained as a result.)

Tends to wait till the last possible moment to eat or drink anything. Breakfast basically doesn’t exist to him. 

Spills more beverage down his chin and shirt than his mouth (but a wet t-shirt certainly isn’t the worst thing to happen. Especially not to Samuel Drake. ;)

Pizza order: Meat Lover’s with extra sausage. Maybe some green bell peppers when he finally compromises with Nate during movie night.

Never, ever orders (well, non-alcoholic) drinks when eating out. And only water when he finally lets himself cave. Otherwise, he’s stealing sips from the nearest patron’s Jarrito bottle (his favorite is Tamarind).

Doesn’t bother cleaning up his fruit peels or peanut shells, even around others. That shit’s going on the floor without a second look.

Surprisingly, a king and natural on the BBQ. Despite having so little in their childhood, Sam still tried to go hard on the holidays for Nathan’s sake. Fourth of July is still Nate’s favorite holiday exclusively because of Sam’s public park-smoked ribs and the long, bumpy motorcycle ride up the highest hill in whatever city they were currently loitering in, just to see the fireworks. 

A dive bar master. Nate always orders whatever grease-covered appetizer they got in the back. Sam purposely keeps his stomach empty so there’s more room for whiskey. (Since nobody asked, incredible at pool, and will offer any woman in a twenty foot circumference a lesson. Cue the leaning chest over back, cue stick fantasy.)

A love language that was a total surprise to him is his partner cooking/baking something just for him, especially if it’s from scratch. Gets that rare, soft look in his eyes as he watches them carefully place each steaming plate onto the table. And trust, he’s not looking at the food when it happens.

Loves his partner in an apron. Like… loves his partner in an apron.

Make him food, and as soon as it’s eaten, he’s eating you after. ;)

When he finally settles down post-Madagascar, it’s a fucking struggle to get him to go grocery shopping at all for the first few months. 

Self-punishment, maybe. 

Nathan buys them himself instead and leaves them on the porch of Sam’s trailer park home when he’s too depressed to answer the door. 

Basically has to be forced to eat actual meat and vegetables. For the first few months, he reverts and eats only familiar prison food. The same single pot of chili/beans for a whole week, half portions only for each meal. Uncooked canned carrots. Microwave popcorn when Nathan calls him asking if he’s eaten, and when Sam lies, it sounds more believable with the microwave droning in the background.

However, when he finally starts to pick himself back up, when he gets his first day job since prison, finally lets Nate buy him a used truck to get around, his first solo call from Sully, that’s when he finally starts to eat.

And when he finally feels like himself again, when he finally lets himself want to live again, the first hobby that Sam Drake takes up is cooking.

#uncharted #sam drake #sam drake x reader #uncharted 4 #uncharted 4: a thief's end #shea is back babyyyy (at least a little bit) #life's been real hard and i think i need to go back to uncharted and writing a bit to save my soul #also i love this man and wanna see him well #don't we all??? #also biggest hugs and heart eyes to the anon who decided to stick around this dead blog #thank you <3

[p0ssywhippedcream]

Spencer Reid would be so bad at food. Bro does not know when things expire, bro ignores labels, bro is probably lactose intolerant and consumes cheese by the bricks.

And his cooking? He knows box noodles and mac and THATS IT. baby struggles even with that.

“It says add milk.”

“Then add milk.”

“How much milk?”

“I dunno baby just add some milk.”

*dumps half the carton*

“I don’t think we have enough cheese for that baby.”

“oh.”

The one thing my man is good at with food besides listing off side effects of ingredients is eggs. Only sunny side up tho, you ask him for over easy and you get a plate full of burnt.

And Spence loves you so so dearly and there’s times you’re sitting in bed in the morning looking hungry and tired and he just needs to feed his love but doesn’t want them to get out of bed.

He makes his way to the kitchen, cooks you up some eggs and brings them on up. You love the eggs he makes for you, you eat them with a smile every time. This is the best version of breakfast in bed you’ll get with him and honestly, it doesn’t bother you. As long as Spence is there.

Or, if you’re vegetarian/vegan, baby’s superpower is avocados. don’t ask me, idk the gods told me but he is so fucking good with avocados????

like for no reason too, bro can turn that green vege into a fucking masterpiece. He’s got it all cut up pretty on the plate, thin slices in a circle with tomatos on top.

He always has them in his kitchen, for a little snack maybe or maybe bc it’s the only thing he can do in the mornings without the smoke alarm going off. (trust me, babe has burnt cereal)

He gets really good with avocados too, like he varies their width, their size and shape and he makes little faces on the plates. It makes his whole day to see your face light up when he hands you a sun with a smiley face in avocado slices.

#oph.posts #oph.thoughts #criminal minds #spencer #spencer reid #spencer x reader #spencer reid x reader #reid #reid x reader #spencer x reader fluff #spencer reid x reader fluff #reid x reader fluff #spencer x you #spencer x you fluff #spencer x y/n fluff #spencer reid x you #spencer read x you fliff #spencer reid x y/n #spencer x y/n #criminal minds spencer #criminal minds reid #criminal minds spencer reid #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds x reader fluff #reid x you #reid x you fluff #cm reid #cm spencer reid #cm spencer x reader #cm spencer x reader fluff

[ziirux]

it's eurovision week so I'm bringing back the bingo from last year but now with more items to choose from! use however you like!!

Items in the image typed out under the cut!

Showtime!

All about the performance

multilingual song

song in the performer’s native language

note held for really long

a really high note is sung

lyrics are demonstrated on stage

pyrotechnics

confetti falls on stage

flashy strobe lights

wind machine

smoke/fog machine

weather phenomenon (e.g. rain, snow, thunder)

camera filter (e.g. black & white)

a piano is on fire

camera circles performer 360° in one go

performer lies down on the floor

performer is lifted/carried by someone

solo act where the performer does not move an inch

phone lights on in the audience

Check out these moves

The dancers work hard too

dance acrobatics (flips etc.)

breakdancing

ridiculous dance moves

dance uses props

half nude/topless dancer(s)

Those shoes? With that dress?

Let’s not forget about the clothes

sequins

feathers

(p)leather

cowboy hat

wings

sunglasses

morph suit

host outfit change

mid-performance outfit change on stage

all-white outfit

all-black outfit

shoeless performer on stage

Say cheese!

Camera interactions

contestant blows a kiss to the camera

contestant shows heart hand gesture at camera

contestant winks at camera

contestant shows their number to the camera

contestant signals for audience to clap along

That’s what they said

Iconic phrases

“Good evening, Europe, and good morning, Australia!”

“Welcome to the Eurovision Song Contest [year]!”

“I/We love you, Europe!”

“Thank you, Europe!”

“douze points”

Peace was never an option

It’s time to count the points

someone finishes with 0 points

a country receives 0 points from the televote

UK finishes last

neighbouring countries give each other 12 points

country rep compliments female host on appearance

country rep thanks for a great show tonight

awkward time delay between host and country rep

Oops, that’s embarrassing…

Major and minor mishaps

wardrobe malfunction

a dancer blows it

obviously fake instrument playing

country/act/artist is mispronounced

a camera is seen on camera (when it should not)

recap is from an unrepresentative part of the song

technical difficulties

host’s joke bombs

singing off key

camera cut to a majority of a group on their phones in the green room

performer is mid-drink in the green room

Miscellaneous

Måns appears

host sings for any reason

host eggs on the audience to cheer

flag face paint in the audience

any pride flag

blatant homoeroticism

green screen

for some reason, there is someone who’s non-European performing something

#eurovision #eurovision 2023 #eurovision song contest #eurovision bingo #esc #esc23 #esc 2023 #esc bingo

[terr4ance]

It was my grandma's 90th birthday party on Saturday and we had a buffet with all sorts of stuff. At the end, there was some leftover salmon and prawns (among other things) which I wrapped and took home.

Bought some puff pastry (because I've made my own before and it is far more time than I currently have), cream, and spinach to make it into a pie. I'm quite happy with how it turned out :)

Despite her age, my grandma always bakes (and then loves to complain about how much it makes her knees hurt afterwards!). One of my favourite things she does is salmon tarts whenever she has leftover salmon. That was the main inspiration for this recipe.

Ingredients

- Puff pastry (I used two packs of premade stuff with a little left over)

- 1/2 onion

- 1 clove of garlic

- a bag of fresh baby leaf spinach

- a fresh salad tomato

- leftover poached salmon, smoked salmon, and prawns (shrimp)

- thyme, salt, pepper

- Worcester sauce (Lee and Perrins is the best)

- 300ml of double cream

- a bit of cheese (optional)

Recipe

1. Preheat an oven to gas 4 (177°C/350°F).

2. Line a pie dish with puff pastry, leaving a little extra around the edges to account for shrinking. Put a sheet of baking paper on top and cover with baking beans (I used split peas because that's what we have). Put this into the oven and set a timer for 10 ish minutes (you want the pastry to be partially cooked).

3. Finely dice half an onion and add to a saucepan over medium heat. Grate in some garlic (or mince it if you aren't as lazy as me!). Fry until translucent.

4. Add a bunch of spinach and allow it to wilt. Dice a tomato and add it too.

5. Add salt, pepper, thyme, and a dash of Worcester sauce along with around 300ml of double cream. More can be added later to taste.

6. Once simmering, add the salmon and prawns (I also had a little tiny bit of smoked salmon) and heat through.

7. By this point, the pastry should be partially cooked. Remove it from the oven, remove the baking beans (O.E), and pour the sauce into the pie. Turn the oven up to gas 7 (220°C/425°F).

7.5. Before giving the pie a lid, I grated a bunch of red Leicester on top of the filling as I was slightly short of filling and didn't want the lid to sag. This is optional, but experiment with whatever you feel might work.

8. Lay more puff pastry on top of the pie and crimp the edges. You can also score the top to give it a fancy pattern, and egg-wash to seal and glaze if you can be bothered (I couldn't).

9. Put the pie back in the oven for a further 10-15 minutes, or until the pastry is golden.

10. Leave to cool before serving, and enjoy!

#cooking #baking #pie #food #worcester sauce <3 #salmon #prawns #shrimp #okay but why are my grandma's salmon tarts so tasty #they're so convenient too because they're already cooked and I can just eat them #did I mention tasty? #this pie was really bloody good too #I took a slice to work for lunch and ended up eating another small slice when I got home as a snack #I then ate another slice for tea #I literally ate half of this pie in one day #my family then ate the other half #my brother doesn't like prawns though so he left his filling #so I ate that today #it was still very tasty #is this how tumblrs use tags? #I think so #hi hello I definitely know how this platform works and am not just here for the aesthetic of being a Tumblr user #thats enough tags for today #my fingers hurt

[blackswaneuroparedux]

In the name of Bacon will you chicken me up that egg. Shall I swallow cave-phantoms?

- Samuel Beckett, Collected Poems in English and French

I went to a restaurant once that said it served "breakfast at any time" so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance. My waiter got the joke.

What isn’t a joke is the traditional English breakfast as a national institution. Most of us love a full English breakfast; you can even travel abroad, to the Mediterranean resorts in Spain for example, and find this quintessentially British dish on sale in cafes and restaurants.

Sometimes also called a ‘fry-up’, the full English breakfast consists of fried eggs, sausages, back bacon, tomatoes, mushrooms, fried bread and often a slice of white or black pudding (similar to bloodwurst). It is accompanied by tea or coffee and hot, buttered toast. These days, breakfast may also include other items such as baked beans and hash browns.

There are many regional versions of this staple. For example, the Ulster Fry includes Irish soda bread; the Scottish breakfast boasts a tattie scone (potato scone) and even maybe a slice of haggis; the Welsh breakfast features laverbread (barra lawr, made from seaweed); and the Cornish breakfast often comes with Cornish hogs pudding (a kind of sausage).

The tradition of breakfast dates back to the Middle Ages. At this time, there were usually only two meals a day; breakfast and dinner. Breakfast was served mid or late morning, and usually consisted of just ale and bread, with perhaps some cheese, cold meat or dripping.

A lavish breakfast was often served by the nobility or gentry at social or ceremonial occasions such as weddings. A wedding mass had to take place before noon, so all weddings took place in the mornings. The first meal the new bride and groom ate together would therefore be breakfast and became known as the ‘wedding breakfast’.

By Georgian and Victorian times, breakfast had become an important part of a shooting party, weekend house party or hunt and was served a little earlier. The gentry loved to entertain lavishly and that included breakfast.

Breakfasts were unhurried, leisurely affairs with plenty of silver and glassware on show to impress the host’s guests. The breakfast table would groan under the weight of the produce from the host’s estate. Newspapers were available for the family and guests to catch up on the day’s news. Indeed, it is still socially acceptable today to read newspapers at the breakfast table (a definite ‘no-no’ at any other meal).

As well as eggs and bacon, which was first cured in the early 18th century, the breakfast feast might also include offal such as kidneys, cold meats such as tongue and fish dishes such as kippers and kedgeree, a lightly spiced dish from colonial India of rice, smoked fish and boiled eggs.

The Victorian era saw a wealthy middle class begin to emerge in British society who wished to copy the customs of the gentry, including the tradition of the full English breakfast. As the middle classes went out to work, breakfast began to be served earlier, typically before 9am.

Surprisingly, the full English breakfast was also enjoyed by many of the working classes. The punishing physical labour and long hours of work in the factories of the Industrial Revolution meant a hearty meal first thing in the morning was necessary. Even as late as the 1950s, almost half the adult population began their day with a good old English fry-up.

#beckett #samuel beckett #poem #poetry #english breakfast #eggs #bacon #beans #sausage #toast #heart attack #breakfast of champions #culture #society

[antimony-medusa]

OSMP Denizens Make A Sandwich

WilburSoot: the cheapest bread he can find, off-brand nutella, bananna, butter, one and a half caffine pills crushed and powdered over the nutella. 

TommyInnit: used to eat only peanut butter and jelly sandwiches cut into triangles with the crusts cut off, but learned about cucumber sandwiches last month and he eats them cause he thinks it makes him look grown-up. 

Niki Nihachu: Beautiful wood-fired bagels with fresh cream cheese, smoked salmon, dill and cucumber, and just the right amount of capers. We will ignore the fact that this is probably underwater. 

Ranboo: He only knows how to make jelly sandwiches on wonderbread, both from the dollar store, but he puts a perfect square of gold leaf from the craft store on it and tells himself it’s fancy. This is not good for his overall health. 

Tubbo: Have you ever eaten one of those gas station egg salad sandwiches that are made with an inadvisable amount of mayo and iceberg lettuce that is basically frozen? It crunches? He’s got an ongoing project to lovingly recreate this. 

Philza: You know what a bacon sarnie is? Slices of bacon between toasted buttered bread. That. 

Jack Manifold: Fried egg with a molten yolk, hot sauce, avocado, a slice of potato roasted in olive oil, sourdough bread.

Jschlatt/Fragrance Man/Man: Just eats the ingredients for a BLT one by one, including the mayo off a spoon. Complains the whole time that he can’t smell anything. 

Charlie Slimecicile: A pita filled with tzatziki. Over-filled. It’s basically a bread-based bucket of tzatziki that he also dips shreds of lamb into. Ranboo is hypnotized by this entire performance. 

Sneegsnag: Classic club sandwich, including the oversized toothpicks with the little shreds of coloured plastic. He also eats the toothpicks, and finished it up with a nice mug of diner sugar with one coffee just to moisten it. 

Smajor: Fresh Mozzarella, ripe tomato, balsamic reduction, ciabatta bread, fresh basil. People eat it and just start crying. “People” includes Scott. 

Badlinu: Grilled Cheese. Somehow it’s always burnt. Still tastes good with tomato soup though. Has to eat it fast to keep it away from Beau and Tommy, who hate this meal, for reasons not understood to him. 

James Marriot: Whatever he can find in the fridge, between whatever he can find on the counter. Notable examples of this include the Lettuce-Filled Pita Wrap, the Mayo Mustard Sauerkraut Sandwich, and the Bran Muffin With A Slab Of Butter, Orange Zest, And Coconut Sugar On It. 

CaptainSparklez: Diner-standard BLT, toasted, brown bread, with mayo, coffee on the side, pie for dessert. 

Technoblade: It’s just shredded carrots in a wrap, probably with raisins, let’s be honest. Little bit of lemon juice to keep everything fresh. If you remark on it in any way he will hold eye contact with you as he eats it.

Fundy: Arugala, crushed walnuts, halved grapes, pickled beetroot, goat cheese, balsamic reduction, on fresh-baked bread. He has carefully crafted this so that NO ONE will steal it. It is regularly stolen.

Beau Beautie_: Peanut butter, marshmallow fluff, chocolate syrup, toffee bits, instant coffee, wonderbread (cut into triangles with the crusts cut off). Eaten with a beer. 

Shubble: Runs out of the house with a slice of buttered toast in her mouth like the first episode of a school anime. 

#osmp #Wilbur Soot #tommyinnit #niki nihachu #ranboo #tubbo #philza #Jack manifold #jschlatt #charlie slimecicle #sneegsnag #scott smajor #freddie badlinu #james marriot #captain sparklez #technoblade #fundy #beau_ Beautie #shubble #yes I’m doing this and calling it Character Exploration instead of writing #OSMP denizens

[scarlettohairdye]

Do you/romance novelist Lan Zhan have any recipe recommendations for hotel cooking?

Oh my god, do I ever, I'm so glad you asked!

Hello from Hawaii and my Tiny Travel Kitchen breakfast! 💖

Okay, so the things you need to work out first are where you're traveling to and how long you'll be there, because that will inform your menu planning. I'm currently in Hawaii (!!!) and there's an abundance of good food near me, so I'm really just focusing on breakfast and snacks. When we've gone to Arizona it's for medical reasons so we have to stay in a hotel that is not particularly well located/my wife usually can't go out to eat, so I plan for all three meals.

I'm going to assume the presence of a travel chef's knife, a cutting board, an assortment of seasonings, an electric skillet, an electric kettle, and a mini fridge, so here's a shopping list and some suggestions with that in mind:

Bread

Butter

The tiniest bottle of olive oil you can find

Half dozen eggs

Avocados

Sliced cheese

Easily sliceable fruit

A package of precut sweet potatoes or butternut squash

Microwavable rice packets (precooked)

A bag of arugula or other leafy green

A can of chickpeas

Lemons

A head of garlic

A couple of shallots

Can of black beans

As far as recipes go:

Lean into your Fancy Toast Era! Butter both sides of a piece of bread and fry it up in the skillet. Top with fried egg, avocado, cheese, anything you want! Serve with sliced fruit.

Grilled cheese sandwiches. Serve with a salad made of the leafy greens, sliced apples, and diced avocado, dressed with lemon and olive oil.

Chickpea squash bowl: dice garlic & shallot, soften in some olive oil in the skillet. Add the precut squash and the chickpeas; saute until squash is al dente. Add precooked rice and more olive oil. Cook until heated through,l. Season with salt, pepper, smoked paprika, lemon juice, and incredibly carefully minced lemon zest (if you're an overachiever). Serve over leafy greens.

Burrito bowl: garlic and shallots in the skillet. Add black beans and rice. Season with salt, pepper, cumin and chili powder. Serve with avocado and cheese on top.

That's what I have for the moment, but all of these options are incredibly customizable. Just look for as many precut/shelf stable options as you can and godspeed!

#hotel room cooking #tiny kitchen #team small appliance #tips for making long trips survivable

[egipci]

Hi Em!!!! Happy Dadfucker Friday <3

There’s a very popular picture in the John/Dean community of a guy with a dirty boot print on his chest. Can you tell us a little bit about how that boot print got there? (Eg. was it consensual? Was it a punishment? Was it a sex thing? Did Dean ask for it? etc.) Thank you!!! <3

Cannabutter

What happened was, the first time, they were somewhere in rural Colorado, like near the mountains, and Dad had been gone for a couple of weeks on a case, and there was a girl. This girl, let’s call her Maggie, she was over one night in the little townhouse where they were staying, and she’d brought these brownies with her. And the brownies were really good, like objectively very fucking good brownies, fudgy at the center, etc., and Dean was hungry, had been eating mac and cheese everyday for a week straight, or you know, like feeling snacky or whatever, and he was seventeen, plus the girl was hot, and they were sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of the couch and he had sort of a lot of brownies. Like, half a sheet of those things. So good were these brownies he was like, “Yo, these brownies are so good. What’s in these brownies?” and it was all the usual stuff, of course, eggs, cocoa, sugar, etc. but you had to use brown sugar, that was the key. “You get the brown sugar,” she said, “and then you whisk in the cannabutter,” and he said, “A canna what?” And she said, “The cannabutter,” and he said, “Oh,” and as he said that he felt it, his heart banging against his ribs and face warming up, a shiver between his shoulder blades. And she was like, one of those hippy chicks with hippy parents and she and her parents smoked pot together or whatever, like they grew it themselves and made butter and tea and whatnot. And he said, “Oh, cool, my dad and I are really close too. He’s coming back soon,” except he couldn’t be sure if he’d actually said any of that or if he’d only thought it, and he must have been freaking out a little because she put her hand on his arm all fucking solicitous and asked, “Are you okay?” and of course he said yes, because she was hot, plus the roofies had felt different. And when he smiled at her she kissed him and pushed him to his back and got on top of him, put her hands under his shirt. And that was nice for a while, making out and her kissing up on his neck and pulling his shirt off.

Then: the sound of the car, and the girl whispering conspiratorially, “Is that your dad?” And at that point he was shaking and trying not to shake and he said, very seriously, “You have to go now,” like a freaking chick from a movie where the dad chases away all the boyfriends. And then he was vaguely aware of her getting up and putting on her shoes and saying something to Dad on the way out, and Dean thought if he got up he might throw up or something and Dad would find out how fucked up he was. So he just stayed there very still on the floor in front of the couch. Pretending to be asleep so that when Dad saw him he’d just leave him there. And Dad was moving around, taking off his jacket and washing his hands, etc., and Dean could feel him coming closer, to kill him or something probably, his boots making the floorboards creak, until he stood right there over Dean, and then he bent down with a grunt and stood up again, his knees cracking twice. And of course, because it was Dad and he’d been away so long, Dean opened his eyes and looked up, overjoyed to see him, having missed him so much, and Dad held the ziplock with the rest of those brownies up to his face, and he said, “Oh, man,” and just his voice made heat flash everywhere, sent Dean white-hot like a magnesium flare. “Dad,” he said, and Dad said, “Come on, dude. Get up.” And Dean said, “Dad. Dad, I’m so high,” and saying more than three words sent him laughing hysterically that something popped in his neck, or almost, and Dad toed his shoulder, said, “Get to bed,” except even then he didn’t sound super serious, like if Dean could see his face he would find him smiling, because he can tell things like that just by hearing Dad’s voice. And then, out of nowhere, Dad just put his foot right over Dean’s chest, almost straight across, but diagonal a little, with his boot still on, and like, shook him, like you would put your hand on someone’s shoulder and then rattle them a little. And the ridges on the sole were hard and wet from the dewy soil outside, but Dean’s hand latched around Dad’s ankle, over the boot, and then up around his skinny shin under the leg of his jeans, and Dad let him, just pressed his foot down hard. Not hard enough that Dean couldn’t breathe but there, good, like when he’d hold Dean down with his hands on his chest or his back, except even better because he was high as shit and the tip of Dad’s toe was grinding against his nipple, painful almost, but he could feel it everywhere, like this current to his balls, but it wasn’t just that, it was that it was Dad standing there over him, holding him down, watching him, and he made this embarrassing sound, whiny, so humiliating he couldn’t even do anything about it except call out for Dad again, and Dad said, “You’re good,” and his voice was so low it made Dean shiver, because he liked watching Dean and he was watching him now, even spread out pathetic on the floor Dad liked watching him, wanted to watch him even like this, even as he held onto Dad’s leg with one hand and unbuttoned his jeans with the other and pulled his dick out and his balls over the elastic of his boxers and came so hard in twelve seconds flat, even then Dad liked him. 

#this was one paragraph except tumblr oppressed me into splitting it up #anyway-- is this a fic? #it's not not a fic #tho I don't think that's dean's voice #i think that's my voice lol --- an outsider pov from tumblr user egipci #who may or may not have gotten high just to write this #john/dean #dadfucker friday #my fic #why not

[booksandchainmail]

Pale 11.2

“How did you meet these two?” Verona’s mom asked. That put her on the spot.  “Group project.” “What kind of project?” Aaaaa.

big mood Avery, I am continually impressed with how many technically-true statements the other two manage

“Fake pork on a bagel?” Avery scrunched up her nose. “With tons of barbecue sauce and stuff, looks like,” Lucy added. “On a bagel?  I dunno.  Fake meat I’ve tried is maybe half mediocre, squint-and-you-could-interpret-it-as-meat stuff,” Avery said.  “And the other half was real sad.  My siblings looked at the turkey slice stuff and they went from making fun of the vegetarian stuff to feeling sorry for me.  And making fun of me a little, still.”

even leaving aside the fake meat aspect, I am deeply weirded out by the idea of a barbecue pork bagel sandwich. A bagel should have smoked salmon and cream cheese! You can add tomato/red onion/capers if you want, or I guess do something with eggs and/or salad. But not meat! Especially pork, that's just bizarre

“If it’s decent then you could come back and have it again,” Verona’s mom said. “I dunno, I don’t want to ruin a whole meal though.”

this is why I just always order the same thing at a restaurant once I've found something I like

“It’s a generation thing,” Verona said, still talking in a tone like she was laying sage wisdom down from above and having fun at the same time.  Verona was being very Verona and it felt a lot like Avery had felt when she was just getting into the flow of these two, after Miss had introduced them.

I think Verona is feeling very off-balance still, but also the sudden release of being away from her dad, and is being very outwardly herself to work through her emotions

“Lox and cream cheese with double helping of black olive and red onion, please, poppyseed.”

aside from the olives this is respectable

“I’m not into art as a career, though,” Verona said.  “And like, who even thinks about careers at thirteen?” “Me either, with sports,” Avery interjected.

that's probably good, those are two careers that are very hard to actually make a living off of

“It’s an advantage, if you can tackle a new project without feeling like you’re leaving behind the things you really want to do.  I get excited about any new venture, and I think I can sell people on that excitement and make things happen.”

have you considered becoming a startup CEO

“What have you done?” Verona asked them, mock-horrified, even though she looked like she was enjoying herself at the same time. [...] “What have you done?” Verona asked her mom and Lucy’s mom, exaggerated.  “Have you no mercy?”

ok, this is very stressful for Avery and coming at a bad time, but I'm also with Verona that it is very funny

(I am an only child)

“Just the one, I think,” Jasmine said.  “She works for the whole hospital, and doubles as IT, I think.” “That’s not nearly enough,” Connor said.  “One health information specialist?”

pour one out for that poor poor IT/information worker. That's not nearly enough, and you can bet they're being drafted into any project that needs a bit of code or analysis done

also ngl I would read more of the parents talking about healthcare data analysis, I wonder if wildbow has personal experience with it? I have a friend who does basically the job that Connor has, and it's not something people tend to think of when they think either "healthcare work" or "tech work", so it seems oddly specific

Avery focused on that, drew on the connection, and channeled it.  Snowdrop raised a paw, ‘thumb’ extended, then went back to sleep. She adopted the omnivore scavenger’s palate.

oh that's a neat benefit. I was going to say probably not useful for anything major, but actually it would be a live-saver in the Hungry Choir ritual, and I bet there are other practices that require eating something gross

“Avery!” Avery flinched like she’d been slapped in the back of her head. Her dad.

... that is a strong reaction. The lingering head injury, or his reaction to her coming out?

“Here,” he said.  He reached into his pocket and got his wallet.  He pressed a card into her hand.  Then he turned to the cashier.  “My daughter has my card, Connor Kelly.  She has my permission to use it.  That okay?”

this feels like guilt

“I really can’t think of much I need,” Avery said.  “Some shirts, maybe, shorts…” “Two hundred dollars?” Verona repeated. Avery shook her head, looking around.  “While Snowdrop is leveling up in- I don’t even know what to call it.  Intensity of fashion?  I feel like I should do something similar but I don’t know what.”

to echo a fandom desire from early-mid Ward: shopping trip!

time for a butch makeover montage

“This is what she does,” Verona said.  “Hey, while you’re doing that, Ave, buy your basics, I can think of some things to buy for Tashlit.  I have some money too.”

aww

“In ten hours, yeah,” Lucy said.  “And then I got stressed because I knew not sleeping before a day like today which might really matter…” “Yeah.  I get that.” “Made it even harder to sleep because I was stressed.”

that happens to my partner sometimes, it always sucks

“It did suck and it was lonely but I get it.  It’s cool.”

on the one hand Avery's right that Lucy was also going through it and this was understandable, but on the other I'm not thrilled how quickly she goes "This was bad for me but it's fine."

“I like the idea of sticking by one another, it’s just tricky sometimes.  People are… personality-wise I see us all as jagged, weirdly shaped things, and we try to mesh together as best as we can but sometimes…” “Yeah.” “The mesh isn’t perfect and we bounce off one another or something and that doesn’t at all mean I don’t care or I’m not in your corner.”

hedgehog dilemma

Avery shook her head.  “He smacked me in the back of the head near the brain stem and that can give you gnarly headaches that last for a whole month.  But when he said I could have the post-concussion thing, he was saying I could have mental difficutlies or problems for the rest of my life.  And that’s when, you know…  I was spooked.”

fucking christ that's terrifying no wonder you were spooked

“You know that you’re like… cool, right, Ave?” “I don’t, no.”

ouch

“I don’t mean sunglasses and slicked back hair cool, or snowboarder chick cool, or leather jackets type cool, I mean-”

she could be those if she wanted! maybe. actually no, sweet and earnest kind of gets in the way of most of those. but she could still get a leather jacket.

“These are your measurements for cool?  Sunglasses and slicked back hair?  What?” Avery asked, smiling.

... is Lucy's metric for cool just Zed

“Do we have to move on?  Because calling me cool is awkward but defining what you see as cool is fun.  Who’s a cool guy, Lucy?  One cool guy you know.” “I had a point I was getting to.” “First one off the top of your head.  Is it Zed?”

called it!

“What’s the commonality between those guys?  Tymon’s a bit laid back, especially when you put him with a bunch of these practitioners from uptight families, and George is sort of above it all.  Tymon’s from a big drug-spirit summoning family and George partakes…” “Not really the direction I was thinking.” “Very angular faces.  Sharp chins, defined cheekbones…”

lol

“Is this punishment?  For leaving you hanging while I moped?  Are you channeling Snowdrop’s chaotic spirit?”

what goes around comes around! otherverse runs on karma

“Oh, they both have longer hair.  Are you into longer hair?  I can understand that.” “The longer hair is a plus.”

fits with liking indie rock/pop I think? I don't know music. Or guys.

Wallace tended to lighten his hair and wear shirts with wild geometric or fractal patterns, prints, and/or colors.

oh that's neat, I love a good geometric pattern. I am now rooting for Wallace, sorry Tymon

At Tashlit’s instruction, such as it was, Lucy sat on the log by the fire and then rolled up her shirt as much as she could without being indecent

this is a very Avery this to notice and way of phrasing

It was gnarly.

no wait I take it back, this is Avery phrasing

3:00pm. “Of course.  I’ll help,” John said. Verona, Avery, and Lucy held papers, guaranteeing privacy.

oh, so they're doing the rounds of their allies. Tashlit, John... I wonder who else? Probably Alpeana, Crooked Rock might have put them in contact with the ghouls, maybe they'll talk to Guilherme and Toadswallow. I think this will go fine, my concern is that helping the girls arrest Edith is a good way for a secret conspirator to ward off suspicion

John nodded.  He took the little games that Verona had brought and set them aside, bending down briefly to slip them into his bag.  There was also a collection of darts Avery had grabbed on impulse.  No dartboard, that had been too expensive.  Just darts.  She figured John could improvise.  He seemed to like it.

cute that they're bringing gifts, and I do like it as part of this recruitment process. Too small to be a bribe, but a show of friendliness and respect. Reminds me of how ritualized gift-giving worked between allies and vassals in ye olden times

“Sorry,” John said, settling into a sitting position, moving his bag to be closer to his foot.  “If that’s too much.  All I mean is- be prepared for this to not go the way you need it to.  Even if it comes to you getting hurt, cornered, imprisoned, if you have plans or things set in motion, you don’t want to think ‘I should’ve’ in the moment before you have no options.  Be prepared.” “What does-” Lucy paused, swallowing.  “What sort of thing would we need to do to be prepared?”

gods this is sad to have to think of. Write letters for your families, for Zed and their other allies at the school? Put together a will for the various powerful items they have? I don't know if Avery would need to make arrangements for Snowdrop

Jessica had sent a picture of herself and her girlfriend in their house.  It looked small but it was packed with decorations, to the point that some stuff was sitting on the ground around the base of some of the tables next to a futon.  Avery was fond of the stone carvings and she’d asked, and Jessica had sent pictures of some.

good to see they're still in contact :)

“Avery! Sheridan, Kerry, Declan! Dinner!”

it has just now struck me 1) how deeply irish all these kids' names are (except, oddly enough, for Avery) and 2) what a deeply unfortunate name Kerry Kelly is

Kerry K.J. Kelly

oh gods and she has another K-name for a middle name. Poor kid.

Her dad addressed the table.  “This is going to be a brief but very important family discussion.  And I do mean discussion.  We need to talk about something serious.” Avery had already spent the day on high alert, and she didn’t miss the fact that her mom reached over to place a hand over Grumble’s.

well fuck, this is bad timing. With the attention on Grumble, is he moving to a nursing home?

“On the upside, there are ice cream bars for dessert,” her mom said.  “So let’s tough this out.”

so I have some bad news about that

“Rook is trusting us with information.  Our doppleganger and cancer stick are with the candle spirit,” Lucy told her.  “They were out there.”

aw, I was hoping Lis wasn't involved

“I’d do something else, I think.  I think of, I dunno.  A house without a floor.  Ropes and things.” Verona laughed.  “That’d be out there.” “Isn’t it?  Or a loft with enough open space on the second floor where you could have a big hammock or something stretched across, like they do in tiny houses.” “That’s neat.  I can see it.  Path-y.” “Yeah, with doors and windows out to Paths.  Maybe so you can peek through?”

this seems wildly inconvenient, but a neat visual. Might be hard to move around quickly though, which could get annoying for Avery

“My mom was talking about passions and not having any one particular passion for herself.  And that’s cool, but like, how do I decide on a place to call my place of power if I do something like that?  How do you define a space and make it cool if your approach to practice or to the world changes all the time?”

I mean I've only seen a few months of Verona's life, but art, magical knowledge, diagrams, things that are weird and gross and fleshy.

“I know this sounds awful, but… countermeasures for John?” Verona asked.

this sucks, and I don't think either John or Tashlit will be issues, but considering how worried I am about the real culprit remaining hidden through this conflict, or even aiding the girls, I'm glad that they have countermeasures prepared for everyone

The blackness behind her deepened.  The Sable Prince stepped out of the darkness behind her.  Trees rustled and leaves went still, branches creaking and bowing.

oh hello!

Avery could see Edith’s face, and she saw the moment that she recognized that the Sable Prince was there. All fight dropped away.  She let Matthew hold her shoulder. Surrender, just like that.  Which didn’t mean this was over.

... huh. Easier than I thought! Though of course the real challenge will be getting information from her

#booksandchainmail reads pale #wildbow #pale #otherverse #i am thinking of adding the otherverse tag to my liveblogs as I go #since my pace is now slow enough it doesnt feel like overcrowding

[kcrossvine-art]

Well howwwwdyyyyyy! Sometimes dino nugs can be vegable, okay?  Today from the Redwall Cookbook- we will be making a dish that lives up to its name (no, not the squirrel part) -Savory Squirrel Bakes. 

(search for the original recipe at the bottom if you’d like to skitter along with this)-

MY NAMES CROSS NOW LETS COOK LIKE ANIMALS

SO, “what goes in to a Savory Squirrel Bake?” YOU MIGHT ASK

1 pound potatoes

grated hard cheese

unsalted butter

chopped chives or scallions

Salt and pepper

all-purpose flour

1 egg, beaten

breadcrumbs

AND, “what does Savory Squirrel Bake taste like?” YOU MIGHT ASK

Kinda like a veggie chicken nugget!

Its essentially mashed potatoes with a crust container

Fried scrambled potato hahaha

You could customize it by adding further ingredients or just doing the potatoes and the breadcrumbs/egg, honestly

Pairs well with a tangy dipping sauce!!!

Would pair well with baked apples and a fruity club soda

A very filling reprieve from a cold winters night

. where scallions or chives called for, used both scallions and chives . doubled the scallions and chives . cook time suggested 20 minutes, went closer to 35 for a good crust to develop

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From time decided on the dish, to having it in my belly, id estimate it took a good hour and a half-ish? Granted we were also sidetracked talking with eachother, so it could go quicker with practice and such. 

In the future i'd experiment with adding panko flakes in place of the bread crumbs, and  smoked paprika, garlic powder, and pepper during the mashing process. Perhaps a sprinkling of cheese right before it goes in the oven too? It couldve stood to have more butter, just to make it smoother, but thats more personal preference.

I give this recipe a solid 8/10 (with 1 being food that makes one physically sick and 10 being food that gives one a lust for life again.)

🐁 ORIGINAL RESIPPY TEXT BELOW 🐁

Ingredients:

1 pound potatoes, boiled and mashed

2 cups (4 ounces) grated hard cheese, such as Cheddar

2 tablespoons unsalted butter, softened

1 tablespoon chopped chives or scallions

Salt and pepper, to taste

1 to 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour, as needed

1 egg, beaten

1 cup breadcrumbs

Method:

Preheat the oven to 375° F. In a bowl, beat the potatoes with the cheese, butter, chives, salt and pepper until smooth. If the dough is too loose to handle, stir in enough flour, up to 2 tablespoons, to make a firm dough.

Turn the dough onto a floured board and form it into a 2-inch-thick log. Cut the dough into 1-inch slices and shape the slices into balls.

Set up a bowl with the egg in it and a bowl with the breadcrumbs. Coat each ball of dough in egg, then breadcrumbs, then place it on a baking sheet. Bake until browned, about 20 minutes (alternately, fry the cakes over medium heat in about 14 inch of vegetable oil until browned on all sides, about 5 minutes).

#cross cooks redwall #recipe review #digital art

[posttexasstressdisorder]

Cake

I made a cake, and put a whole big sloppy Tablespoon of Vanilla Extract in the batter and another in the cream-cheese frosting.

It’s the best damn cake I’ve ever made and I’ll fight anyone who says otherwise.

I feel like such a manwhore right now.  I am Vanilla Extract’s bitch.

Very “Too Much Testosterone Man meets Betty Crocker.”

BEST DAMN CAKE I EVER MADE:

For cake:

Set oven at 325.  Use 9 x 13 pyrex, just grease with shortening, YES, shortening.  Don’t whine about it. Just STFU and do it.

Soften to room temp (overnight on counter soften):  3/4 cup salted butter (a stick and a half).

Put butter in stand mixer bowl.  Dump in 1 1/2 cups granulated sugar, and 1/2 cup (firmly packed) dark brown sugar. 

Put in 4 teaspoons of baking powder, and one big, sloppy overflowing a little Tablespoon of...Vanilla Extract (cue barefoot whatshername with her “Now, you want to use a GOOD vanilla here” thing).

Really:  it makes a freakin’ difference.  Use pure extract.  Period.  Organic, yadda yadda.  Bottle I got was $21.  It has been worth every goddamn cent.

OK...back to cake: cream that shit on speed 1, while you carefully add 3 eggs, one after the other, allowing a few seconds between.

Now, take your 2cup pyrex measuring cup and put 1 1/4 cup whole milk in it.  Now bring it up to the 2 cup mark by adding 3/4 cup heavy whipping cream.

Begin slowly pouring the milk/cream, a bit at a time, alternating with plain unbleached flour, a little at a time, until you use between 3 1/2 and 4 cups of flour and the last of the milk is poured...you want a fairly thick/stiff batter.

Spread your batter into your greased pyrex and put it on the center rack of your 325 preheated oven.  Set time to look at it about 55 minutes, allowing up to about an hour max. 

For the Cream Cheese Frosting:

Soften (on counter overnight) one stick (1/2-cup) salted butter and two 8oz bricks cream cheese. 

Put those in your stand mixer bowl, along with one big, sloppily poured overflowing a little Tablespoon of Vanilla Extract.  Begin creaming the butter and cream cheese and Vanilla Extract until smooth. 

Now slowly and steadily, allowing the mixture to stabilize and the amount of frosting grow before adding more, pour in an entire 2lb bag of powdered sugar.  Once all the sugar is incorporated, switch your mixer off and smoke ‘em if ya got ‘em. 

Congratulations.  You have now made the frosting.  Leave it alone.  Just leave it on the countertop and walk away.

Get the damn cake out of the oven when it’s done, and if you need me to tell you how you know when it’s done, we have other issues here, I’m just sayin’...

ALLOW THE CAKE TO COOL COMPLETELY.  I know it’s hard.  But you HAVE to wait until the cake is dead-cold. Put the pyrex onto a wire cooling rack when you get it out of the oven, and walk away. 

Seriously. Take the cake out of the oven AND GO BACK TO BED.  Wake up at some hideous hour in the morning and slather the now-cooled cake with the entire-ass batch of that lethally good frosting you made--it should be enough to slather that puppy with a 1/2-inch thick layer.  Now let it sit.  Again.

Let it sit there in its cakeness.  Until the frosting and cake get acquainted a little better.  For fuck’s sake, learn to have some self-control, man...get a hold of yourself.  Not THAT way.

Cut into however many pieces you want, not YOU, the cake...it will simply lift out of the baking dish, IF you greased your pan right.

This concludes my Ted talk.  I’m gonna go eat another piece.

#vanilla extract's bitch

[icleanedthisplate]

Dine-Out Meals of February 2024, Ranked

I ranked the following based on taste alone. I made no consideration for ambiance or the general dining experience or whatever. I included meals I got to go. I included food trucks, catered meals, and fast food.

Of note, I went back to Chang Thai for the first time since the pandemic hit and it was still solid.

Should you be interested in the pictures or reading the few words I had to say about each meal, click on the home page and scroll down or see the archives.

Shishito Peppers & Sea Salt, Crispy Octopus Fideua, Steak Tartare, Chilled Crab-Stuffed Peppers, Black Cod & Clams, Basque Cheesecake (shared all). Lady Slipper. Bentonville, Arkansas 2.17.2024.

Pad See You w/Shrimp. Chang Thai & Asian Restaurant. Sherwood, Arkansas. 2.13.2024.

Szechuan Eggplant, Beef w/Broccoli, Egg Roll, Egg Drop Soup (shared all) (to-go). Chi’s Asian Cafe. Little Rock, Arkansas. 2.2.2024.

Almond Sweet Roll, Fruit w/Granola, Hive Benedict, Smoked Salmon Bagel (shared all). The Hive (21c Hotel). Bentonville, Arkansas. 2.18.2024.

Squash Blossom Pizza, Caesar Salad. Raduno. Little Rock, Arkansas. 2.8.2024.

Tom Kah Soup. Bahn Shop (DFW). Dallas, Texas. 2.22.2024.

Local Board (shared), Smoked Chopped Chicken Salad. Whiskey Cake. Round Rock, Texas. 2.20.2024.

Miso Ramen w/Pork. Aji Ramen Bar. Little Rock, Arkansas. 2.9.2024.

Chicken Pesto Panini on Jalapeno Cheddar Bagel w/Chips. The Great American Bagel. Little Rock, Arkansas. 2.20.2024.

Crispy “Kung Pao” Rock Shrimp (shared), Half Wedge, Everything-crusted #1 Tuna. Local 463. Ridgeland, Mississippi. 2.7.2024.

Roasted Beets, Grilled Cheeses (Duck Pastrami, Roasted Mushroom, Spicy Beef) (Shared All.) Bread Cheese Wine. Little Rock, Arkansas. 2.2.2024.

Tacos (Buffalo Chicken, Spicy Tikka chicken, Cuban Pig). Velvet Taco. College Station, Texas. 2.22.2024.

Flash Fried Oyster Shooters (shared), Blue Corn Crust Crispy Salmon. Blue Corn Harvest. Georgetown, Texas. 2.21.2024.

Spicy Bahn Mi, ½ & ½ Fries (shared fries). The Root Cafe. Little Rock, Arkansas. 2.10.2024.

Chirashi w/Miso, Salad. Wasabi. Little Rock, Arkansas. 2.19.2024.

Dumplings in Chili Oil Sauce (Pork). Three Fold Noodles + Dumpling Co. Little Rock, Arkansas. 2.6.2024.

Chicken Salad w/Cranberry Sauce, Banana Nut Bread. Trio’s. Little Rock, Arkansas. 2.7.2024.

Congee. Hail Fellow Well Met. Springdale, Arkansas. 2.17.2024.

Cheesy Figgy Sandwich w/Chips, Garden Fresh Crepe. Garden Square Café. Little Rock, Arkansas. 2.15.2024.

Newk’s Favorite Salad. Newk’s. Ridgeland, Mississippi. 2.8.2024.

Gyro Plate. Plaka Greek Café. Georgetown, Texas. 2.21.2024.

Eggs Your Way. The Bistro (Courtyard Marriott). Georgetown, Texas. 2.21.2024.

Ham & Cheese Croissant. Starbucks. College Station, Texas. 2.22.2024.

Breakfast Buffet. Springhill Suites. Ridgeland, Mississippi. 2.8.2024.

#february 2024 #food list