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ggukkiereads · 3 years

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Fic Recs | Fake Dating AUs

This is based on asks for fake dating fics. Most of these favorites are reblogged with reviews. Others are still ongoing series I am reading whenever there is an update.

Members are organized per number of fake dating participation 😂

Jungkook

Mutual Help @personasintro - [39/?] | literally the only reason I visit Wattpad. | semi fake dating AU, Bestfriend AU, FWB AU, Slow Burn | F, S, A

Aphrodite in War @jungblue - [2/?] | Exes AU, Fake Dating, Fratboy/Greek Life, Roommate AU, Enemies to Lovers | F, S, A (one of my favorite authors too! Like read all her fics)

Bitchin @kinktae - series [10/10 + 10 Years After] | fake dating, college au, jock!jk, smart!reader, E2L #holygrailfic (⭐)

Blush @jhsbrat - JJK | one shot | friends to lovers, feat Jin (I remember looking everywhere for this because I thought the author deactivated 😭 so I was glad it got reposted)

The Proposal @hansolmates - JJK one shot | editor!jungkook x assistant, like the movie The Proposal

My Euphoria @moyochu - JJK | one shot | CEO!JK, Florist!OC, bought chocolate cosmos from her shop for his Mom and a plan ensues when OC needed a fake boyfriend (I reco’d this during one network’s JK’s week last year because I just adore how fluffy this fic is I binged on their fluffy catalog one time and I recommend their other works!)

Proposals @pjxmin - JJK | one shot | pretend proposals to get free food from restaurants 🤭

Dating Plan @/jjkthclub - JJK | one shot | enemies to lovers, childhood friends, actually it’s more of a “Dating Trial” just so the moms will leave them alone (🥰)

Piss Off Your Parents @littlemisskookie - JJK | one shot | Rich Kids who hate the pressure from their parents but JK is a rebel and OC roomed with him (and fake dated him) to piss off the parents (⭐)

Love to Hate You @latetaektalk - JJK | series [4/?] | fratboy! AU, fake dating! AU, college! AU, enemies to lovers! AU, rich kid! AU, angst, fluff

Anpanman @honeymoonjin - JJK | one shot | fake date to get therapy (this is also hilarious?!?! like ridiculous premise but the author made it work. Anyway the link leads to my reblog and you can read my comments if you need convincing 🤭)

Moonlight Melody + Part 2 @/gukyi - JJK | two shot | 50k | fake dating, orchestra AU (part of this fic rec list)

Coffee Shop Contract @/gukyi - JJK | one shot | 18k | fake dating, college AU

Better Late Than Never @rosaetae - JJK drabble, exes AU, fake dating (I love this scenario, there’s one funny moment here with Jungkook saying his feelings through a door)

End Game @minyoongijjangjjangmanboongboong - JJK | one shot | 12.1k | soccer player x cheerleader, fake dating AU, ex-Namjoon

One Thing Right by hobios (now on AO3) - JJK | series [8/8] | more on fake marriage than fake dating but I’m throwing this in because this is my #holygrailfic

Play Pretend @seokoloqy - JJK | one shot | 8.6k | Athlete AU, Jock AU, Soccer Player!JK, Fake Dating AU, Friends to Lovers AU | S, A

The B.S.T. Mission @singguks - JJK | 11.2k | Secret Agents AU, Fake Dating AU | A, F, S ~ ongoing [3/?]

ILYSB @rkiverse - JJK | one shot | 11.1k | idol au, broken-hearted jungkook, love clinic staff reader, fake dating but not really (more of part of therapy) | F, A

It’s All Fun and Games @/cupofteaguk - JJK | one shot | slow burn, set up on blind date so they pretended to be dating to shut others up 🥰

Collar Full @minloop - JJK | fluff, smut, friends to lovers, college au, ‘fake dating’ au for Jungkook's love project

True Care @joonsgalaxy - JJK | series [7.5/?] | bodyguard!jungkook fake dating

Baby I’m a Fool @suhdays - JJK | one shot | enemies to lovers, coworker

Blank Check @pantaemonium and @sugaxjpg - JJK | series [5/?] | fake dating AU, college AU, fratboy AU, fuckboy AU, jock!jk (been following this fic for years 🥰)

Beautiful Confession @btsracket - JJK | one shot | Friends to Lovers, OC just lost her job + boyfriend and only childhood friend to turn to

It Takes Two @junghelioseok - JJK | one shot | Christmas AU, fake dating, roommate au

From Home @gyukult - JJK | series [12/12] | rich kid!jk (but he was cut off and has to learn how to earn on his own), baker!reader, enemies to lovers, fake dating

I Wished I missed My Ex @angelguk - JJK | one shot | College AU, Fake Dating

The Wedding Date @jjungkookislife - JJK | one shot | fake date for wedding

💜 Jungkook is Over Party (#JungkookisOverParty) @extravaguk - series [4/?] | 11k+ | Fake Dating, College AU, Himbo!JK, Smart!Reader | F (so far)

→ Fics with parts/chapters of fake dating:

Cream and Sugar @gukslut - series [6/6] | Smut, Humor, Escort AU, Barista AU, Enemies to Lovers, Asshole!Jungkook (this is also a gem! must read) 🥕

Midas @/gukyi - one shot | enemies to lovers, magical realism, CEO AU, OC has invisibility and JK turns stuff into gold . (okay just a segment where they pretended in front of the parents

Fuckboy Jungkook Who Quotes Gatsby Part 5 Part 6 @btsinspirationtakesme - drabble series [6/6] | Fuckboy AU, Nerd!Reader, Enemies to Lovers, using literary quotes to win OC (Shakespeare, FS Fitzgerald, Neruda, etc) (so this is actually surprisingly cute?!?! I don’t even remember how I discovered this fic. Anyway there is one chapter where they fake date)

Taehyung

Kismesis @jjkthclub - KTH | it’s pretend to be a couple during a wedding expo (for free food! like I would do the same lol)

The Holi-date @kpopfanfictrash - KTH | This neighbor!Taehyung is just...memorable you know? It’s a great romcom piece 🥰

Love at First Oink @glodenclosetau - KTH | the only SMAU I’m putting here because this is a MUST READ. It has written parts and this is just the fluffiest cutest SMAU (also the first I’ve read in full because I have the tendency to read and miss on smau episodes before)

Can’t Fake a Feeling @bubmyg - KTH, F2L, Fake Dating, College AU, Fuckboy

Schemes and Tricks to Win Her Heart @crystaljins - KTH feat KSJ | series [5/5] | Fake Dating Chaebol/Rich Seokjin, Taehyung is Jin’s Little Brother, and OC is Tae’s bestfriend (⭐)

X and O @army-author KTH | fake dating, single parent, teacher AU

False Pretense @v-hope - KTH | one shot | Fake Dating AU | F, slight A

La La Land by hoseokiehope (used to be on tumblr) - KTH | one shot | throwing this in because this is also a classic

Crush Culture @chaangbin - KTH | fluff, angst, fake dating au, childhood friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, smut

The Platinum Rule @taecalicook - KTH | two shot | you can read the JJK since this is a spin-off (but nor required), fuckboy!taehyung, fratboy

Yoongi

Playing with Fire @houseofdemi-blog - MYG | series [8/8] | Fake Dating AU, Rich Girl AU, Producer Yoongi, Bad Boy AU (this is a classic. a really great fic)

First and Last Love @floralseokjin - MYG | Christmas AU, Exes who needed to pretend they’re still together because they haven’t told the family yet about the break up (this is 👌)

When The Stars Align @itskimtaehyung - MYG | one shot | College AU, Roommates, cuffing season

The Heart Holiday @vanaera - MYG | series [3/5] | 92.3k | Office AU, Enemies to Lovers, Fake Dating AU

Switching My Positions @cupofteaguk - MYG | solo artist!yoongi, manager!y/n, fake dating au, friends to lovers au

Maybe So @joonary - MYG | two shot? [1/?] | fake date someone you already have feelings for (you have to read this - just so fluffy)

Everglow @dreamyjoons - MYG | series [4/4] vague fake dating au, friends to lovers

Veil feat PJM @ddaenghoney - series [20/20] | slow burn, unrequited love, love triangle, fwb (pjm), producer!yoongi

Ink Nemesis @scriptaed - series [7/7] | fake dating, paparazzi!oc, idol

Seokjin

Better With You @ve1vetyoongi - KSH | series [2/3] | help him inherit his trust-fund-baby-fortune

Courtship Chronicles @/gukyi - KSJ | one shot | friends to lovers, fake dating to show how fun dating could be

Raspberry Truffles @gukyi - KSJ | one shot | F2L, fake dating

The Money Project @namjoonchronicles - KSJ | series [2/?] | fake marriage actually, they don’t like each other but Seokjin’s parents like her and he needs her to get on parents’ good graces

Too Good To Be True @hueseok - KSJ | series [7/?] | college au, idiots to lovers, 10 things I Hate About You

Taming of Bridezilla @cinnaminsvga - KSJ | one shot | fake date to least favorite cousin’s wedding

Jimin

Fake It Till It Works @glassbangtan - PJM | one shot | panicked and told Hoseok he has a GF and he’s looking for one who could pretend, Best Friend AU

Remedy for Mondays @dovechim - PJM | series [4/4] | Co-worker AU, Fake Pregnancy AU (lol), Fake Dating AU, fake baby daddy 😅 🥕

Happily Glazed @/bubmyg - PJM | one shot | fake date to cousin’s wedding, slice of life

Call Me Baby @hueseok - PJM | one shot | friends to lovers, roommate au, college au

Namjoon

My Blood, Your Tears @nottojay - KNJ | series [5/?] | fake dated Namjoon who is the rival of her brother’s gang, Mafia AU (it’s incomplete though but good for bookmarking)

Until You Make It @versigny - KNJ | one shot | Christmas setting, co-workers

My Only Wish @ppersonna - KNJ | one shot | Christmas AU, E2L, idiots to lovers

Hoseok

Fakeation @theunknowncryptid - JHS | SMAU | Inspired by the movie Just Go With It

Fake Love @aquaminwrites - JHS | Fake dating AU, enemies to lovers, fluff, smut, minor angst (you have to read all of the writer’s fics. her fics are just amazing. promoting her Taehyung fic Paper Cranes which is a favorite of mine too)

*there is one Hoseok fic I really like but it was last updated in 2019 😥 so I didn’t include anymore but that’s such a great fic

There are new fake dating fics I’ve seen recently but I haven’t read them yet. Once I get to read them, I’ll update this with ones I’d like to recommend

🌷 posted: 2021 May 07 | updated: 2021 June 12 (indicated with a 💜)

🌷 other lists

🌷 I love to read so feel free to recommend a fic =)

#bts fanfic #bts x reader #bts smut #bts angst #bts fluff #bts fake dating au #ggukkiereadingcollection #jungkook x reader #yoongi x reader #taehyung x reader #seokjin x reader #hoseok x reader #namjoon x reader #jimin x reader #bts fic recs #jungkook fic recs #taehyung fic recs #yoongi fic recs #seokjin fic recs

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ahalal-uralma · 3 years

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I am reacting to this post made by @vestige-of-thorns and shared by @mybloodiedvalentine. As well as covering a history of other abuses and deceit from these two women and their recent supporters.

I am going to break up posts and will link them to each other as well as linking past ones in which I’ve had to address harassment.

Part One.

Here is the whole collection of every hate message I’ve received and post response I’ve had to make regarding both of these women. Marilia aka vestige-of-thorns is projecting I have a new woman I’m harassing, when that’s not true at all. I do not harass any of these girls. What issues exist are just on-going from said same girls harassing and posting about me.

There’s a lot of covered evidence between screenshots of myself and other girl’s regarding vestige-of-thorns problematic history of cyber-stalking and creating fake accounts as well as Tessa using faceapp and lying about my identity and photography.

Marilia O1. // Marilia O2. // Marilia 03. // Marilia 04. // Marilia 05. // Marilia 05. // Marilia 06. // Marilia 07. // Marilia 08. // Marilia 09. // Marilia 10. // Marilia 11. // Marilia 12. // Marilia 13. // Marilia 14. // Marilia 15. // Marilia 16. // Marilia 17. // Marilia 18. // Marilia 19. // Marilia 20. // Marilia 21. // Marilia 22. // Marilia 23. // Marilia 24. (This one might be her) // Both of them 25. // Tessa 26. // Tessa 27. // Tessa 28.

I feel like I could fill an entire book up with just the harassment I’ve gotten from Marilia alone. If you see her trying to back-track online and lie, just realize she’s owned after a point in past direct anonymous messages that she was sending me the hate and didn’t care who knew. She has promised to destroy anyone who wants to protect me.

If you don’t believe me she has tried, just consider she’s harassed my mutuals/friends @jasonlowder and @oculus-de-malus on here.

She’s also made attempts to manipulate my boyfriend @thedescendinglight via the hate blog she operates. In fact, she’s tried to attack him on anonymous after he didn’t reciprocate and follow her back like she hoped he would.

She wasn’t sending me direct messages from her url itself only because she was blocked months before for unsettling behavior on posts I wasn’t comfortable with. She has been called out for using proxy servers to harass me. She cares now that there started to be backlash.

She forgets she’s directly attacked me on Instagram too and here’s further proof of who she is, since she likes to hide her face only the past few months since she’s started to bully me and other girls online.

If you look at some of my linked posts, I’ve gone more in-depth about the Instagram and side-blog harassments from this woman. Ulvindem was the url for her tumblr account in previous years, also. Do not be fooled.

Time and again, I have seen these two people and their alleged friends operating under these list of common logic fallacies:

Here are past examples from comment sections across various posts about me.

There are three of the ten fallacies at play in this exchange. “Begging the question” as this girl assumes what has been stated about me is true simply because her friend Tessa said so. She never came forward to hear my side of anything being claimed. And actually, none of the people siding against me have chosen to communicate with me and understand me if we are going to get technical about it. I don’t think it’s occurred to them once that they should have.

In a way, this could be seen as “appeal to authority” fallacy as well, since she’s treating Tessa as authority on the subject without reference or proof she’s credible on the matter. The other is “appeal to ignorance,” because she hasn’t seen it disproven, or rather proven at all, so she is assuming it is authentic and honest. There is no one present for this conversation to defend me, not even myself, so I must be guilty by pure rule of omission and absence.

Apparently, the argument states that I need to be called out and judged for following random bloggers that Tessa happens to like? But, I’m insane?

Here’s another fallacy combination. But, instead of it just being the “begging the question” and simply “appealing to authority and ignorance” fallacies there is the fourth addition of the non-sequitor fallacy. People simply talked about me in passing, in a way that is expressed vaguely, and can elude to nothing sinister, and there’s a chance it was probably not anything related to the topic, but it’s assumed it’s relevant reason enough to block and condemn me, anyway.

Pay attention going forward, because you’ll often see them controlling people’s perceptions through the ad hominem, straw man, slippery slope and red herring fallacies. And the people who side with them often side with them under the previously mentioned examples. It’s like an ongoing game of monkey-see, monkey-do. They make up an allegation and people believe and act further on it without research.

They can almost never answer a question/concern directly without insult or issuing a threat (ad hominem), straw man (distorting the truth by twisting it with a lie or exaggeration. ie. I simply stated that one of them uses editing on her photos and she claimed I called her a cat fish, despite the fact I have never done so), slippery slope (my responding to their hate posts makes me a criminal) and red herring (when all else fails, they try to find new topics to distract the public with and blame me for).

I’m not allowed to defend myself without all degrees of threats being issued. Some are violent like the ones Marilia has sent me and then there is this. Take this girl I used to follow between 2-3 years. I do not know why she wants to threaten my presence in this way.

We were just mutuals. Interactions were quiet and peaceful as far as I observed it, because we were content to just like/reblog from the other person. I liked her content. There was no fight. No negative exchanges. I’m just guilty in her eyes because her friend doesn’t like me. I didn’t know they were even friends, but that isn’t relevant. I don’t know where she’s getting off threatening me with a petition, when I would never do anything to harm her ability to blog.

The bullying from this group is so toxic they threaten to misuse an activism site to bully offline a girl they don’t even know, haven’t really spoken to, and certainly have never met, and simply on the basis that they don’t like her face or art? This reasoning is shallow.

I wouldn’t be surprised if they plot to con people out of money for this cause, too. They could be spending this energy fighting for charity, or real human/animal rights, but that’s what they want to spend it on instead?

I’ve seen some of these girls preach about being vegan and pro-feminism, but I have yet to see one ounce of evidence shared that they’re interested in helping better humanity.

There are children starving in the world and whales dying, but I’m the biggest problem and threat to waste time on? I wonder if they fight such causes with as much vehemence and devotion as they like to spread hatred of me.

They call me an attention whore, but can’t raise one point of argument without issuing insult, threat or the use of a logic fallacy.

Anyone who has tried knowing me, has cared and genuinely attempted, knows how timid I am of most attention; especially, when they first speak to me. I do not trust easily. It can take me months, sometimes years, before I trust someone. I definitely do not want the popularity they so often complain about my having, considering that would insinuate a generalized level of trust for people I do not actually possess.

I think it’s amusing this insult is following the fact I predicted they would try to slut-shame my appearance as they’ve done so before.

I knew I would not get away with sharing a selfie in which I felt sexy without them raising a fuss over it. They lack the introspection and basic comprehension to understand my tags and why I made them. You girls did exactly what I knew you would do.

Also, how can I be surprised by now that there is ableism in the tags of Marilia? Calling me retarded for having a potential mental illness? Really?

I’m not surprised. Anyone who cares and observes will know the two of these girls long shared history of racism, agism, sexism, etc.

Take just for example in a recent post:

I would rather be cringe than whatever this is. I mean, way to slip in your agenda with a veiled dark joke. Let’s death-wish an entire group of people and make it look like a misfire. You couldn’t pay me to be this brand of evil.

#personal #hate #drama #text #mybloodiedvalentine #vestige-of-thorns

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hp-fanfic-archive · 3 years

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an introductory rec list (that no one asked for) to some of my favorite ships: drarry [4/10]

First fic I read for the pairing: Obsession by yesbocchan [2k,T] Harry thinks Malfoy is up to something evil. Until he finds out maybe he's not the only one with an obsession. [just a cute little eighth year fic i saw on tumblr back when i was first getting into fandom stuff (and back into harry potter in general) when i was near the end of high school. it’s cute, it’s sweet, and i was curious about drarry as a concept so]

Fic that really sold me on the pairing: Stealing Sweaters by DorthyAnn [12k,T] It's their eighth and final year and over the course of several months, Harry and Draco have managed to become close friends. Their friends are entirely certain that they ought to be much, much more. So they just decide to... help things along. [listen, everything that DorthyAnn writes is phenomenal, so how could i not fall in love with this ship after this?]

Absolute favorite fic(s) for the pairing: Animus Nexus by MystyVander [96k,T] It's Eighth Year at Hogwarts and it seems Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy hate each other more than ever before. Everybody is sick of it. Somebody was tired of the two enough to curse them, binding them together. What at first appears to be a death sentence to both Harry and Draco turns out to be the thing the both of them needed the most. [it’s enemies to friends to lovers coupled with accidental bonding coupled with discussions of magical theory coupled with wizarding traditions with a few misunderstandings and some angst all set in eighth year and that’s basically the perfect combination for me.] Twist of Fate by Oakstone730 [302k,T] Draco asks Harry to help him beat the Imperius curse during 4th year. The lessons turn into more than either expected. A story of redemption and forgiveness. Pairings: HP/DM (Slash) Timeframe: 1994-2002 Goblet to 4 yrs post-DH EWE Rating T for language, high angst, content. [this fic has lived rent-free in my head for three years and it fucking slaps. there’s angst and fluff and so many bittersweet moments and it’s both canon compliant and completely canon divergent and i am obsessed with it. 40000/10]

Most recent fic I’ve read for the pairing: love me now (touch me now) by swisstae [3k,G] Harry's never had a bath. Draco plans on changing that. OR in which Harry gets his hair washed and Loves It (and Draco. He loves Draco too.) [this fic is adorable and sweet and i enjoyed it immensely.]

Favorite AU(s) I’ve read for the pairing: Alternate Sorting AU (Slytherin!Harry): Malfoy Flavor by Vorabiza [199k,E] Harry’s ready to banish the Golden Boy image and take charge of his life. Unfortunately for him, or fortunately, there are surprises in store for him. [Slytherin!Harry but it’s not an entire canon rewrite like most of the alternate sorting fics i love so much, so that’s fun. also severitus and just the right amount of soul crushingly painful angst. oh and it has a delightfully fluffy little sequel. ] Alternate Sorting AU 2: Electric Boogaloo (Ravenclaw!Draco): Chaos Theory by Tessa Crowley [102k,E] Chaos: when the present determines the future, but the approximate present does not approximately determine the future. One gene varies, one neuron fires, one butterfly flaps its wings, and Draco Malfoy's life is completely different. Draco has always found a certain comfort in chaos. Perhaps he shouldn't. (warnings for: major character death, graphic depictions of violence, psychological torture, implied/referenced non-con) [as my notes on my bookmark said: GOD DAMNNNNN. I LOVE THIS FIC. I CRIED SO MUCH AND ALSO THERE WAS LAUGHTER AND JUST GOD DAMN. ONE OF MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITES. so that about sums it up.] Time Travel AU: Annus Mirabilis by Ren [39k,E] Harry and Malfoy are trapped at Hogwarts around the time the school was founded. Stuck with a different way of doing magic, with no chocolate, and with each other, they have to find a way to work together if they want a chance to go home. [i almost never fuck with time travel aus but… this one slaps. also? hogwarts founders era?? hell yeah. also also? their relationship progresses in a way that feels so natural and the tension is so palpable and the writing is excellent.]

Favorite Series for the pairing: Leo Inter Serpentes by Aeternum [746k,E,6 Works] Just one conversation between two eleven year old boys goes slightly differently, and the world changes. Just how much will be different with Harry being sorted into Slytherin, and how much will stay the same? [Slytherin!Harry? Harry, Draco, Hermione friendship? Severitus? All in a complete series re-write that’s currently six completed works deep? What more could you possibly need?]

Longest fic I’ve read for the pairing: I Do What I Want by XxTheDarkLordxX [509k,E] They say you shouldn't touch what isn't yours... Too bad no one told Harry that. A simple mistake that Harry made in his first year at Hogwarts is coming back to bite him in the arse. The war is over but the threat to his life is just beginning. This story begins with a simple apology that changes Harry’s life. It starts a domino effect that leads to unbelievable connections, undying love, unique past lives, unknown villains and an unstoppable family. Follow Harry and his friends on an epic adventure filled with twists, bumps, comfort, enemies, a new life and a lot of love. (warnings for: major character death, some character bashing) [the first (or first few? i forget) chapters are written in first person but they’re an internal monologue and the rest of the fic is not in first person, just so you know. Also, the concept slaps and the fic is cute and i love to see it (and i’ve read it thrice).]

Fic(s) with some of my favorite tropes: Matchmaking: Ron Weasley: Accidental Matchmaker by Phoenix_Waves [2k,T] "There's not a sexual tension out there that the man can't accidentally detect!" George beamed. "And then ask the stupid arse question that's going to light the spark and fan the flames." Lee added matter-of-factly. A fluffy Christmas one shot featuring our favorite older Gryffindors. [god this is excellent: the obliviousness, the mutual pining, the matchmaking, having the older gryffindor kids around and having a good holiday time- it’s all excellent.] Soulmates: Kiss Me Not by DorthyAnn [21k,T] Sometimes a witch or wizard's magical signature is so completely incompatible with another that they repel one another like magnets. On the other hand, if two magical signatures mesh well together, well there are no stronger relationships in all the world. In a sample of a thousand people, the average witch or wizard will be slightly repelled by four or five people and strongly repelled by only one, at the most. The opposite is true for attraction. But Harry Potter can't kiss anyone at all. [this is actually such a fascinating take on the classic soulmates trope. there’s no predestined person for everyone and there’s no magical guarantee of anything, just magic being a little difficult and i adore that. also the writing style is excellent and the characterizations are spot on.] Accidental Bonding + Bed Sharing: Let's Take A Chance On Happiness by endless_grey [21k,E] Harry works with Luna at her magical antique shop, and everything is going pretty well until a mysterious ring makes an appearance. Cue curse-breaker Draco Malfoy and an accidental bond, and suddenly Harry is magically married to his former nemesis. They need to break the bond before Hermione's fundraiser, but Harry doesn't remember "fall in love with the git" being part of the plan. [i discovered this fic while looking for something else, but it’s so good. i love their dynamic and it’s shift as the story progresses and i love both of their friendships with luna just as much. it’s funny and a little angsty and well written and has two of my favorite tropes in it. what more can i say?]

#drarry #drarry fic rec #drarry rec list #drarry fic rec list #drarry fics #drarry recs #hp fic rec #hp recs #hp fics #hp fic rec list #hp fic list #hp fic recs #drarry fic recs #intro to my fav ships rec list #queue is for quibbler

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salty-ironstrange-shipper · 3 years

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Could you maybe post a long-ass list of good ironstrange fics because at this point, there's nothing else to do and you seem like you have great taste

puppets on a string

Summary: Stephen Strange is a villain. But a hot one.

Words: 103,206 (incomplete)

This fic is courtesy of our very own @funkylittlebidiot, so definitely give it a read!

Find a Way (to break the fall)

Summary: Stephen didn't think about it anymore. It had been buried deep beneath all the other shit he'd had to live through in the last couple of years and it didn't impact his day to day life in any way whatsoever. Until the day it does.

Words: 2,170

This one is short, but emotional and impactful. Warning for discussions of past rape/non-con.

The Brands We Carry

Summary: Tony Stark is almost thirteen years old when he gets ready to settle down to bed one early-early-morning and happens to look in the mirror on his childhood wall and catches sight of a circular brand on the skin above his heart.

“About fucking time,” Tony mutters, and goes to sleep without bothering to tell anybody he just cussed out a baby that’s only just crying its way into its new life somewhere on the planet.

The date is February 17, 1983. Happy birthday, whoever you are. Took you long enough.

Or: Tony Stark and Stephen Strange are soulmates. You'd think that would mean they would be perfect for each other right from the start, but it turns out that their soulbond is a long path of mutual distrust, dislike, and miscommunication. Just their luck.

Words: 10,497

I love a good soulmate au, and this is a good soulmate au. Very interesting look at both characters and also what happens if someone’s soulmate has a not insignificant age gap (though they only meet in person for the first time as adults)

A Crown of Thorn and Shadows

Summary: Anthony Stark, King of Blood and Darkness, ruler of the Unseelie court, did not expect to find Prince Stephen Strange of the Seelie chained up in his torture chamber, cold iron being driven into his hands. Stephen Strange, a Seelie healer, never dreamed of finding himself in the court of nightmares, being cared for by the king that the Seelie called a monster. They must work together to find the traitors in two Faerie courts that have not spoken in over six hundred years and reclaim Stephen's memories before the courts descend into war once more.

Words: 58,465

Wonderful fantasy au, great worldbuilding and relationship buildup. Lots of fun.

Villain Stephen Strange and His Obsession with Tony Stark

Summary: Just a bunch of prompty oneshots that are partially based but 100% inspired by Tumblr IronStrange Posts. Rated T-M

Words: 1,029

Do I even have to explain it? This is just fun.

Ten times outta nine, I’m a hand grenade

Summary: Though neither remembered that night, it turns out that Tony Stark and Stephen Strange had first encountered each other years earlier. Unfortunately, that might end up destroying the universe.

Words: 419,141

This is a loooooooooong boi. But oh, it’s a good one. Stephen and Tony basically go back in time, change the universe, and fall in love. It’s everything you could want from them. Complete with romance, angst, drama, and humor.

Where Severus Snape is hot, not a stalker, and somehow gets the girl

Summary: And then, as if he wasn’t already the most embarrassing estranged biological dad ever, Tony stopped in his tracks, raised his sunglasses (because of course he would wear sunglasses inside a lecture hall in April), and gave Professor Strange the most blatant, sustained once-over in the history of fuckboyness.

Then he put down his glasses, shot a winning smile at the teacher, and said, “Well, I’m Tony Stark, of course.”Or: Peter Parker is sick and wants to cut his Neuroscience class. Tony just wants to help (and maybe date his son's hot teacher). Stephen Strange just wants to give his lecture in peace.

Words: 2,387

Stephen is a college professor. Peter is his student. Tony is having too much fun with this.

You Remind Me of a Man

Summary: Tony Stark cannot stand the overly opinionated and egotistical Dr. Strange and the feeling is extremely mutual.

Words: 44,788

Perfect no-powers au for them. They’re assholes who fall in love and see another side to each other. It’s amazing, 10/10 would recommend.

I am here

Summary: There’s a technical reason Stephen must surrender the Time Stone to save Tony’s life. It has to be done, and that’s enough for him to do it. But just in case, the universe decides to give him a personal reason as well.

Words: 11,708

This one is so soft. Basically, while looking through time, Stephen keeps showing up in the past at various points throughout Tony’s life. And then they fall in love! Good for them.

T For Tony

Summary: Your soul mark is the first letter of your soulmate's name. Stephen has an 'A'. But he's in love with Tony. Cue anxiety, jealousy, angst.

Words: 2,794

They’re so stupid in this fic. It’s great. It took them so much effort to remember Anthony starts with an A. (I still think this fic should’ve been titled A For Tony, but I didn’t write it, so)

something taken, something new

Summary: The ChronicConnection implement and app allows a person that lives with chronic or illness-induced pain to transfer their burden temporarily to a willing loved one. Tony and Stephen sign up as beta testers.

Words: 14,541.

I must’ve recced this a thousand times ..... AND I’LL DO IT AGAIN. THIS FIC IS THE PERFECT MIXTURE OF SOFT AND ANGST AND IF YOU DON’T READ IT, YOU’RE WRONG.

15 Million

Summary: For every alternate reality there were ten thousand alternate realities from that. And from those ten thousand more. And then ten thousand more off each of those. And so it goes.

The Avengers win once. There’s ten thousand versions of it.

Stephen Strange doesn’t know what to make of the fact that Tony Stark seems to be *his* victory.

Words: 2,755

Obligatory “Stephen looks through 15 million possible futures and falls in love with Tony in the process fic”. Can’t have a fic rec list without it.

Hero Swap AU

Summary: It's a boring day for the Avengers until Tony Stark attacks.

Words: 17,391.

Just pure, fun crack.

Only a Matter of Time

Summary: Captured by aliens, mistaken for a mating pair, Tony and Stephen find themselves having the universe’s most awkward honeymoon.

Words: 6,056.

Smut. Good smut, though.

Sunrise in Exile

Summary: Tony does the math and realizes their best chance to save the universe is by... not confronting Thanos on his own turf.

So he steals a wizard and a spider and a space ship. And he runs.

(Three humans and an A.I in space, the alien friendships they make along the way, and discovering how science and magic might coexist in a universe where they can be one and the same.)

Words: 352,079 (incomplete, has not been updated in a while)

A long fic set during Infinity War where they just ... run away to space. And it’s great.

Rewriting Icarus

Summary: Stephen and Tony, from the beginning to the end and beyond.

Words: 23,504

Pre-powers AU, except they fall in love then get powers. Sad, angsty, beautiful.

variations on a theme

Summary: Stephen sees into millions of possibilities and finds only one where they win, but he never expected to end up falling in love with Tony Stark in almost every single one of them.

Words: 5,134

Another Stephen looks through the possible futures and falls in love with Tony? ... Guess you can’t have just one.

Five’s A Party

Summary: It's an orgy fic, I'm not sure what else to say

Words: 2,639

... Not much I can add to that. Magic smut.

A Lapse in Judgement

Summary: Stephen, the newly minted Sorcerer Supreme, is strong, powerful, and in control of his life in every micromanaged detail, because failure to do so could result in (another) cataclysmic event within the universe. He is. But then Stephen accepts an off-handed offer to spar from Tony Stark – a man who is Stephen’s non-magical equal, a man who Stephen barely sees outside of bi-weekly meetings and the few and far between fight against a villain – and Stark discovers Stephen’s biggest weakness, his most hateful secret that is a deeply fundamental part of Stephen’s psyche.

Except instead of judgement, and horror, and disgust, Stark meets him halfway, and a lapse in judgement turns into a possibility that could change their lives forever.

Words: 22,694

This is the first of a series which was just updated (haven’t finished reading the new part yet, looking forward to it) and is just a really good, surprisingly soft and emotional BDSM series/fic.

Ironstrange Fics and Ironstrange Cinematic Universe

Oh, how did these get here?

Yes, I’m reccing my own work. I’ve written 29 fics and 377,132 words for this ship, I think I’m entitled.

Ironstrange Fics is a collection of every ironstrange fic I’ve written, short, long, sweet, angst, and everything in between. Ironstrange Cinematic Universe (itself responsible for 49% of those 377k words) is my ironstrange rewrite of the MCU specifically. Please read, enjoy, and leave comments, I’m not updating any fics for a couple of weeks and I need the validation.

#long post #very long post #asks #incorrect-ironstrange #ironstrange #fic recs #fanfiction #ironstrange fanfiction #my fanfiction #Anonymous

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with-my-murder-flute · 4 years

Text

Hi everybody, thanks for the asks letting me know I made the top of @yusuftiddies’ list of Homophobes in TOG Fandom, you can stop sending them now.

So.

I can make mistakes and fuck up and own that. I am serious about listening to marginalized people. But... in this case, while @yusufstiddies generally describes factual events that happened and factual posts that exist, I have to say that I can’t actually apologize for the things I’m called out for because I don’t think they’re homophobic. The things he criticizes me for are things that come from a lot of personal experience as a queer bisexual cis woman, as well as a lot of reflection, research, and study. I believe in them really strongly and stand by them.

I’m really sorry if this makes TOG fandom too hostile, because it is not my intention to make this place so unpleasant that anyone feels driven out. I understand if my stance means people no longer want to follow me/read my stuff/participate in projects I’m involved with (though I’d rather hand off the Research Hub to someone else than see it go down with me). I’m posting this so people can know where they stand before they decide whether to keep interacting with my blog, or “deplatform” me as @yusufstiddies recommends.

I would recommend, for anyone who doesn’t want to see my posts, using Tumblr’s new post content filtering feature. If you type a username (like star-anise or with-my-murder-flute) into it, Tumblr will hide all posts featuring that specific string of characters, and therefore any post or reblog of mine.

To address the accusations against me:

I am an anti-anti: Yes. I’ve reblogged posts of mine about this before. I care passionately about preventing child abuse, but I think there are better ways to prevent child abuse in fandom (like concrete harassment policies so predatory behaviour can be reported and stopped early, and education about digital consent and healthy relationships) than attacking people who write “bad ships,” not least because the first people it hurts are abuse survivors trying to work through their trauma, and because the research says you cannot actually tell who’s a sexual predator based on what they write about. Fiction affects reality, but not on a 1:1 basis. My mainblog, @star-anise, has a really extensive archive of my writing on the subject.

I said cishet men aren’t more privileged than gay men: Kinda. What I actually did was question whether Every Single Cishet Man benefits from more privilege than Every Single Gay Man. If a man is cishet but gets beaten up because people perceive him as gay, he’s not exactly feeling the warm toasty glow of heterosexual privilege in that moment. Oppression is complicated and there are times when someone’s lack of privilege on one axis is way less important than someone else’s lack of privilege on another axis.

The post above also includes me reblogging someone else’s addition about how straight men can be included in the queer movement: I’m queer. @yusufstiddies has made it very clear that he isn’t comfortable with the word “queer” and doesn’t like it. Therefore I think it’s understandable that he might not understand that the queer community sees ourselves as a coalition of people dedicated to dismantling the structures of sex and gender that oppress us, not a demographic of people whose gender identities or sexual orientations can be neatly mapped. However, I would say that doesn’t make queer theory inherently homophobic.

There are also some related points @yusufstiddies didn’t level at me specifically, but I would like to address:

The constant focus on the unsafeness of cishet people:

I’m not cishet. I’m a bisexual woman who’s dated women. Sixth-light is a queer woman married to a woman. This is not an issue of non-LGBTQ+ people blundering their way into something they don’t experience the daily consequences of. This is an issue of people from WITHIN the LGBTQ+ community who sincerely disagree with @yusufstiddies about the pressures we experience and how best to deal with them. I think that even if @yusufstiddies were to filter his fiction input to only LGBT-written work about LGBT experiences, or even only trans-written work about trans people, he would still find a lot of things he finds upsetting or transphobic, because sexual and gender identities are really diverse and not everything will suit one person.

The contention that saying “’Queer is a slur’ is TERF propaganda” is transmisogyny because it dilutes the definition of “TERF”:

People who point out the phrase is TERF propaganda are not calling every person who says it a TERF, and we are not trying to argue that telling a queer person that queer is a slur is inherently equal to the kind of damage a TERF does when she attacks a trans woman out of transphobia. Queer people being able to use the word “queer” does not have the same importance as trans women being able to live, work, and survive in public. Rather, we are literally saying, “This is a thing TERFs say when they take a break from attacking trans women and try to recruit new members to their group, so it’s in our best interests to not give it too wide a currency.”

Some people have experienced the word “queer” used as a hateful word hurled against them and don’t want to hear it ever again. I get that. It happens. Where I grew up, “gay” was a synonym for “shitty” and it took me a lot of years out of high school before the word “gay” wouldn’t shoot my blood pressure through the roof. I actually do understand that and think that’s valid (and again, support using post content filtering for that word).

One of the things I do at @star-anise is argue with young people who are headed into full-on transmisogynistic TERF territory, and work at reeling them back and deradicalizing them. I use a tag called “weedwhacking” so my followers can filter out the sometimes lengthy back-and-forths we get going.

Something I’ve learned, interacting with so many TERFs and proto-TERFs, is that one way they frequently get recruited into harassing trans people was through discourse around the word “queer”. For one, it encouraged them to want to distance themselves from any perception of LGBT people as “weird” or “not normal”, which led to seeing trans people as “weird” and “not normal” and therefore not good members of the “gay pride” community. For two, repeating “queer is a slur” predictably causes a lot of queer people to react in a defensive manner, so by teaching young or new people to say it, TERFs can set them up to feel alienated from the larger LGBTQ+ community and more open to TERF propaganda.

The next issue isn’t mentioned in the original callout post, but I think it’s key to this entire issue:

@yusufstiddies has made several posts about what cishet people should and shouldn’t write. For example, cishets shouldn’t write Nicky experiencing internalized homophobia. Another is a detailed post of things cishets shouldn’t write about trans people, including which sexual positions only trans people are allowed to write. I would imagine that part of his frustration with fandom has been the lack of traction those posts have gotten. I know I very deliberately didn’t reblog them.

That isn’t because I don’t agree that the things he complains about are rarely handled well by cishet authors. I agree that there’s a lot of bad fic out there that contributes to negative stereotypes against LGBTQ+ people and is basically a microaggression to read.

I have two very deeply-seated reasons for my position:

LGBTQ+ identities are different from many other political identities because most people are not born identifiably LGBTQ+. It’s something we have to figure out about ourselves. And one really important way that we do that is using the safety of fiction to explore what an experience would be like, sometimes years before we ever admit that we fit the identity we’ve written about. So banning cishet authors from writing something is really likely to harm closeted and questioning LGBTQ+ people. It will lengthen the amount of time questioning people take before finding the identity that really fits them, and force closeted people to be even more closeted.

There’s a lot of undeniably shitty stuff in fandom. However, I fundamentally believe that trying to target the people creating it and forcing them to stop doesn’t work very well, and has the serious byproduct of killing the creativity and enthusiasm of the rest of fandom and resulting in less of the actual thing you like being produced. I think that it is infinitely more productive to focus on improving the ratio of good stuff in fandom than trying to snuff out every bad thing.

Like I said: I understand if this means former followers, mutuals, or friends no longer want to interact with me. I’ll be saddened, but I’ve obviously chosen this path and can deal with the consequences.

I wish this could have worked out differently.

#my stuff #the old guard

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j-reau · 3 years

Text

a hiatus or something

I didn’t want to post this. I told myself to give it until morning and sleep but I’ve been laying here for over an hour and I can’t sleep and I know I’m not going to sleep until I get it out. And I decided I’m not going to do the pretend things don’t bother us mentality that tumblr likes, the don’t show emotions on the dashboard, don’t let people know you’re hurt or angry out of fear it’ll be seen as ~drama or whatever thing stop me from just saying how I feel. Because I feel pretty shitty? I’ve been feeling shitty for a few days now. Maybe more. Last week I told myself that the drama that had randomly cropped up was just too much and I wasn’t going to let tumblr be something that made me cry or panic or kept me up at night over bullshit like arguing with someone over things that happened years ago. So I set my focus on my friends, on my dashboard, on reminding myself why I love RP and why I’ve been in it for this many years, for so long, with all of these people. Those Valentines I posted were part of that project for me. It was a reminder, for myself and my dash about all of the human connection that happens here, all the people we meet, all the little pieces of each other we take on and take with us, all the ships, all the conversations, however brief. From the people we just see on our dash to the ones we talk to about all our fears and insecurities. And how all of it matters.

I know how much we all love to say calm down gregg, it’s tumblr RP. I know how we all loathe this hellsite when we’re being our worst. I know how we all talk about how we’re too old for this now or we’re tired. We’re just here to write. I’m just here to write. I love writing. But what brings us all back time and time again, what keeps us here is the fact that it’s not just tumblr RP. It’s a community. Whether you have a real life that keeps you busy or your whole life is here, whether you have plenty of friends offline or all your closes people live on discord, we’re all people. And we all take this with us. We make friendships and we talk to each other. We open ourselves up to the constant trust and fear of interaction, of plotting, of who is going to reach out or send the meme. We build friendships based on that, we care for each other, we see each other’s bad days on the dash, and great days and inspiration. And it means something. It may just be tumblr RP, but it matters to us. Because of the people here, because we give a fuck about each other. Or at least I’ve always liked to hope we do. I have friends on this website I’ve had for ten years, some just for 3, and others just a few months. It always floors me how we can always come back to it, how we stick with each other or don’t, how we see the good and the bad and the ugly.

So to get on with it, I wrote those Valentines. I hit refresh on my blog and put the weird random drama in the past and moved forward. I made this blog for JJ only about 3 months ago. I don’t know how I got 500 followers in that short time but I did. And it’s. been the wildest experience I can possibly explain, having that happen so quickly, finding so many people out in the RPC that I hadn’t before on my other blogs. I felt fucking good. I was excited. Not just to write a character I had wanted to and loved for years but to find so many people who I vibed with. I remember writing a post about a month in and being so fucking ... floored. By how much I loved you all, by how amazing it was to be received like that still, to find people my age and who wrote things I liked and loved their female characters. I fucking love JJ. I LOVE THE SHIT out of my partners on this blog, even the new people I’m still itching to write with. And yet, I did that little refresh, posted my valentines , got ready to go and felt .... sad.

I tried to explain it. I tried to tell myself it was a bad mood. I hoped maybe it was medication. But I couldn’t shake the weird funk. And everywhere I looked it seemed like things were .... not good. My friends taking breaks, people feeling sad too, relationships splitting, people I liked and respected separating themselves. Tonight, one of my closest friends I’ve made on this blog blocked me. Someone I adored and trusted and absolutely loved to write with. Tumblr says we’re not supposed to care. That we’re supposed to let people draw their lines in the sand and take their leave and maybe we are. Maybe it’s important to let people make their choices. But I also think it’s important as fuck to talk to your friends, to mean what you say when you tell someone they’re important to you. I think it’s important that we remember on the other side of every blog and discord user is a person. Who has bad days and bad feelings and cries and feels insecure and tells themselves it’s just tumblr RP even when they know somehow it feels heavier when it’s bad. This was a friend I had talked to at length about all of those exact things, about how personal the community can feel sometimes, about feeling replaceable or invisible, even for the toughest most confident most take no shit people. I’ve always considered myself a pretty tough, confident, take no shit person. I think anyone who has known me for as many years as I’ve been around has seen that first hand. I don’t like how sad I’ve felt lately. I don’t like the insecurity that’s making me want to know why things feel way or why people vanish without so much as an explanation. I had to block a mutual last week I saw making fun of me on their twitter. A mutual. Someone who chose to follow me and on a public place where my other friends could see it made fun of what I posted. And I just don’t know what we’re doing anymore. It didn’t bother me. I don’t have hurt feelings over it. That’s the kind of stuff I definitely know I’m confident about. But .... it did really fucking floor me. Because here we are, on a sight where users talk about positivity and not sending anon hate, and we can treat each other like that.

I’ve been sitting up in bed for hours trying to figure out what to say or what to do. That’s what I do I guess. I try to figure out what to do, how we fix it, like somehow there’s some unified we and some responsibility to make things better. A lot of you have only known me for a few months so this probably sounds all kinds of nuts. And you’re probably going JJ you’ve been an emotional mess since the moment we met you. Because I feel like that’s how it’s been for the last few months. But that’s not how it’s always been for me. That’s not who I am. So for now I guess I’m just trying to figure out what I do. Instead of sitting here and spinning and trying to figure out how we as a community fix these gaping holes and the way we talk about each other like we’re disposable and treat each other like names on a list instead of people.

For now, I think what I do is take a little break. It’s the very thing I don’t want to do. Because it feels like quitting and it feels like being scared away. So I feel the need to promise whoever has read all of this and myself that that’s not what it is. Maybe I’ll be back in two days, maybe two weeks, who knows. But I need a break. From whatever this feeling is that seems to have come over things lately. I’ve loved these few months on this blog so much. And maybe that’s half the problem. Maybe I got spoiled and this is the come down. Maybe I’m just an idiot who thinks what we all want on this website is to find people and love each other and write together. I never knew that me -- the person often accused of being aloof and feelingsless and distant would somehow turn into the emotional bitch on this website but here we are I guess. I just don’t know how to navigate this anymore. I don’t know how to put my heart into relationships and friendships that can just be switched off like we can just stop caring about people. I don’t know how to ignore people who say horrible things and do horrible things to each other just because we don’t want to see it on our dashes. I don't know how to give enough of everything to everyone so that every single one of my mutuals and partners knows they’re valuable to me. I don’t know what I hope to accomplish. I don’t know when I got to be so much of a raw, frayed edge on tumblr dot com but that’s how I feel. And I hope in a few days or sometime soon I’ll have an answer or at least get my hard shell back.

I want to keep writing. I want to keep talking to you guys. I don’t want to lose anyone. I truly mean what I say when I say you’re all important to me. I plan to still be around on discord. I’ll write on discord if anyone wants to keep writing. If we aren’t discord friends yet and you want to be, send a message. I plan to come back. I don’t want to abandon anything. I’m so deeply fucking sorry for this rant, for all the overflow of feelings lately, for anyone that’s had to listen to them, for putting them on your dashes, for fucking all of it. Please be good to each other. Please talk to each other. Please remember that if we’ve crossed paths at any point on this blog, I value you. I value all of your friendships, your writing, your shitposts, your dash commentary, your tiktoks you dump at me on discord. I love you. Every last fucking one of you.

#💛✌🏼💛✌🏼💛✌🏼💛✌🏼💛✌🏼✌🏼✌🏼💛#i am dead fucking serious please feel free to stay in touch i just #need my dash closed for a while #message me if you want my discord

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meggannn · 3 years

Note

shepard/garrus?

oh boy, sorry for the late response! I always end up posting these things and then going to read/take a nap/play a game or something. anyway writing this up took two hours, i hope it is even slightly interesting to read. cut because this is looooooong

What made you ship it?

I think I was interested in this ship before I even played ME. I was just like “I know Shepard is a character and an alien named Garrus is a character, and people draw porn of them together.” because I think it’s reasonable to say it’s one of, if not the most, popular ship in the fandom, or at least in ME’s tumblr fandom? and the way people talked about it, I knew their tropes were #banter, #battle couple, #partnerships, and... and as we’ve learned from royai, I am a bit weak to those tropes (assuming I like both of the characters). the way people talked about them also from a “best friends” angle—which is sort of forced in-game in a way that seems strange to me now—was also a plus in its favor at the time. (if they get together, I do see their friendship/companionship, in whatever form, in some ways integral to their romance—unless you’re playing full far-right renegade who’s like a xenophobe and hate-fucking Garrus, I guess?—but Bioware also kind of shoehorned Garrus into that best-friend role and that’s a topic for another day.)

What are your favorite things about the ship?

(my friend will hit me if I say “partnerships” again) I’m gonna talk about the way I play my Shepard now, because so much is dependent on the unique Shepard. for Lydia’s journey over the series, I see a large part of her journey as basically a study of her (often self-inflicted) loneliness. and she never entirely breaks her habits of self-isolation, but the events of the series force her to be vulnerable in a way she would prefer not to be in front of a crew, or, y’know, ever. Garrus becomes an integral part of that story to help her break her out of these bad habits (all of the crew does, particularly also Ashley for my Shep), but to my eyes, the story of “Shepard and Garrus’s relationship” is also one of mutual respect, burden-sharing, and sanity and morality checks.

I don’t think of their “mentor” relationship in ME1 very often mostly because I don’t think it was done particularly well, but for all its faults, I do like how naturally the jump from “subordinate” in ME1 to “ally” in ME2 felt; once you meet Garrus on Omega you feel more on the same footing as two friends greeting each other because you’ve both recently been through trauma and the sight of a friendly face in a station full of hostiles is so unexpectedly welcome that it lets them both hope things will be okay for a minute. starting from that moment, Garrus becomes one of the few people who can see “under” her mask, I guess: partly because he’s one of the few combatants from the SR-1 who knows Shepard well and sees who she is both on the field and onboard the SR-2, with the ability to compare both to the times of “before you died”; partly because he has trauma response training and recognizes it in others even if he doesn’t in himself; partly because his loyal personality makes him sensitive to wonder how she’s dealing with being resurrected; and also partly because they’ve both gone through similar things. namely, getting your squad killed and blaming yourself for it, and it possibly being your fault (BioWare is inconsistent on what Shepard’s role was on Akuze, but in ME1 she has the chance to reply that she was responsible for getting them out safely, and failed).

necessity forces Shepard to adapt to things like being effectively forced to work for terrorists; being isolated from her support system; being resurrected and feeling like a stranger in her own body; later, getting decommissioned for making an incredibly difficult call to save the galaxy; watching your homeworld burn; being forced into a political role negotiating high stakes you don’t know how to play; being told you’re the spearhead of a galactic war; doing all of this without a full crew complement; the list goes on. those are all, on their own, incredibly isolating, traumatic experiences, and my Shepard’s not emotionally sane at the best of times. (emotionally stable, perhaps, only in the most literal of terms, at least on the surface. she’s like a rock when shit hits the fan. emotionally sane, no, for that reason and more.)

the tables have turned, and Garrus ends up becoming a large part of helping her regain agency in most if not all of those things: in ME2 he was a former crew member she trusted, and he was eager to work for her and be distracted from his failures on Omega. over in the battery, he is himself recovering from a major injury (like Shepard) and going through the aftermath of a bloodbath he feels responsible for (like Shepard), working on a crew that holds him at arm’s length, that he also... arguably... didn’t have much choice in joining (like Shepard—I’m assuming he wasn’t held hostage and joined voluntarily after waking up, but lbr this is unconfirmed). their reasons are different and varied, but they don’t realize until much later that they have found each other at the most opportune time, providing a sense of stability for each other, and also, frankly, sanity and morality checks.

in ME3, he steps into this role more fully because he’s become more disciplined, is doing work firmly in his wheelhouse, and paired up against Shepard struggling with their positions somewhat reversed from ME1: him more confident and her now completely out of her element, floundering with her place on a galactic scale. without Garrus—and Chakwas, and Joker, and Tali, and later the loyalty of the entire SR-2—the story of ME would be a tragedy, and it would end shortly in ME2; it’d be the story of how my Shepard slowly went insane being forced to fight boogeymen under a terrorist banner. Garrus isn’t, like, the keeper of her sanity, but their ability to check each other, and see themselves in the eyes of each other, provides stability and occasionally a bit of a wake-up call to both of them. when they’re both vulnerable, they both feel most seen, and most understood, by an alien that listens.

one angle of this ship that highly interests me at the moment, along with the above, is that while it’s not illegal for them to be together, it’s still... a really bad fucking idea lmao. (I could make the argument that it’s a bad idea for Shepard to be in any relationship with their crew but I think there are a few ships—Garrus, Tali, any Alliance crew at all—that realistically would be huge political clusterfucks.) so overcoming personal insecurity and fear of the unknown to acknowledge interest in each other, and the desire to become an item, getting roadblocked by a reality wake-up call with the fact that 1) she’s his boss, 2) Garrus comes from a society where station matters, like, sort of a lot and it even determines your job and how much legal power you have, 3) the potential political blowback (which would be ENORMOUS because lbr the hierarchy may not care about what turians do in off-hours but they WOULD care about the superior/subordinate thing, the human thing, the fact that they’re doing this while a war is going on. basically one of their best agents is on the Normandy to negotiate their interests and they’re basically at the whims of their relationship the whole time)... it’s a lot! all of that sort of makes it tragic, but I’m curious to see how they’d overcome it.

anyway, all of that is where I’m coming from when I think or write about this ship, but there’s a lot more I’m not mentioning here. there are a lot of juxtapositions that in my head that I’ve either added or extrapolated from canon that also interest me about this pairing. Garrus is a former cop, as is his father; Lydia is a poor kid who used to be in a gang out of necessity. Garrus is a turian with often traditionalist thinking; Shepard is a human who has much less sociopolitical power than him, even if she is his superior on the Normandy. both of them are roughly as old as the First Contact War, when their people were at each other’s throats not thirty years ago. Garrus idolizes Spectrehood while Lydia hates it, feeling it was forced on her. they can’t eat the same food. and yet despite all of that, and the fact that they need translators to communicate, they manage to understand each other when a lot of the world around them doesn’t.

god this is not even the full list of it. anyway I could go on but I’ll stop there lol.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

oh jesus, so much. I’m a grouchy and picky shipper, be warned.

pining can always make my ships more interesting, and imo it’s a consistent part of any ship of Shepard’s, considering it’s wildly inappropriate and unprofessional for her to be fucking any subordinate, so I think more consideration could be given to shakarian in the “we shouldn’t be having a thing and oh also you’re an alien and I’m kind of scared of both your government and your body” angle! I hope to explore that a bit with a fic I’m writing (if I ever finish it, god).

I hate the flavor of fandom!shakarian where Shepard romanced Kaidan in ME1 then felt “betrayed” when he’s confused and hurt on Horizon, so she gets with Garrus as like... revenge? idk. and then Garrus usually develops this bias against Kaidan as a sort of author mouthpiece (which is inconsistent with his characterization cause Garrus is nothing but pleased to have Kaidan back on the SR-2 in ME3!) and takes up the anti-Kaidan crusade cause K ~questioned the commander~ (since when does Garrus fall over himself defending a superior from criticism?) like, idk. I think Garrus can be sensitive to the fact that that reuniting must’ve been painful for Shepard, but also be aware that it was also really painful for Kaidan because all of Kaidan’s complicated feelings about Shepard’s resurrection were, realistically, things Garrus should’ve felt too! this trope is very popular but just feels like manufactured drama for drama’s sake, idk, I’m also not big on love triangles so. I would much rather people just rescue Ashley on Virmire and avoid the whole thing rather than have previously-romanced Kaidan around in ME3 for the sole purpose of forcing him to watch Shepard/Garrus being happy together tbh.

I think full goody-goody paragon Shepard is too preachy to make a good partner for Garrus and full shoot-anyone-in-my-way renegade Shepard encourages and emboldens his worst tendencies (and Castis Vakarian is right to disapprove of them). most people end up playing some combination of both, or if they do settle in one camp or the other, usually there is some sense of realism where Shepard doesn’t play nice/naive or play mean all the time, so it’s rare I see either of those kinds of extreme Shepards depicted, but in general if there is a Shepard that is so far in one direction it seems illogical to me that they ever stay together.

I think wanting a mShep romance for Garrus is a pretty welcome idea in fandom, but adding onto that, I think Garrus should’ve been romanceable in ME3 for players who changed their minds on other romances or want to play slow-burn romances! we had it for Kaidan—and should’ve had it for Ash—so (pounds fist on desk) Garrus too imo!

I hate the canon get-together because Shepard walking into the battery and asking “do you want to fuck” feels very tailored to the players who want to romance Garrus, not to who Commander Shepard is, imo. it lacked all of the subtlety and depth of some other romances—until the scene of Garrus coming to her cabin with a wine bottle, at least, cause I do like that scene, but anyway, I dislike the actual get-together.

just in general, I’m a stick in the mud, so my favorite iteration of this ship is where Shepard is resolutely professional, and the challenge of it becomes him getting her to open up, not the other way around. like, I think on some level every iteration of Shepard is a bit of a lunatic/eccentric, because you have to be to do the things they do, but I like to see their flirting with less of her calling him “big guy” (not sure where that came from, is that in canon? I must’ve missed it, but personally I don’t like it) and more of Garrus making wisecracks in the canteen while he’s talking to Joker, but he’s looking at her out of the corner of his eyes and he really said his joke with the aim of making her laugh, and as she’s reading her datapad she hears him, and even when she wants to chuckle she stops himself and just smirks cause she doesn’t want to give him the satisfaction of a laugh, but he sees her lips twitch and feels his heart flutter. that. I want more of that.

oh lastly, I hate “Shepard takes Vakarian clan markings” in any iteration. there is no canon relation to turians being poc—in fact I’d argue they have sociopolitical privilege real-world bipoc do not—but the concept of social face markings, face tattoos, etc., is rooted in non-white cultures and with the fact that 1) turians had a literal civil war over the territories those markings represent, 2) we don’t even know if marriage is how markings are shared or if non-turians are ever invited to wear them in the first place, 3) most of the art of this trend, lbr, is of mostly white Shepards in wedding dresses and blue face paint... all that combined just makes me frown and scroll faster every time I see it. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a bipoc Shepard with Vakarian face markings in fic/art, and that to me is very telling (not because they should have them, but because bipoc fans who make bipoc Shepards usually recognize when a racially-coded trope is uhhhhh not so great to appropriate for someone not of that group).

#megan does memes #marisjellyfish #shakarian

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ggukkieland · 4 years

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📕BTS Fic Reads - 2020 June

Some are new, some re-reads, while some are past reads that haven’t been reblogged yet. Mostly mature.

🌹 update (2021): status and links for fics have been updated. also indicated deactivated authors/deleted works.

Note: if link doesn’t work, click on author and go to their masterlist

🥕 Ongoing - most recent chapter [as of date this list was updated] 🥕 Completed - completed one shots | series 🥕 S - smut | F - fluff | A - angst 🌷 with commentary on some fics (if reading these help)

🥕[Ongoing Series]

Cruel Intentions @jeonqukie - JJK | 18.9k+ | College AU, Boyfriend Namjoon (infidelity themes), Twisted situations/characters x good girl!OC, Strangers to Lovers, Bad Boy AU | a, s ~ [1/?] 🌷

Full Stop (formerly titled Palette) @1oserjk - JJK | 29k+ | Divorce AU, Exes AU, Parents AU | a ~ [4/? + 2 Drabbles] 🌷

Sugar & Salt Series @kkulmoon - KTH | 11.8k+ | Rich AU, Baker!Reader, Slice of Life, Slow Burn, Enemies to Lovers, Strangers to Lovers, Countryside Vibes | a, f, eventual s ~ [2/?]

01 In the Winter Things Brew

02 The First Snow Has Melted

🥕[Collab/Themed Series]

Friends with Benefits drabble series @an-exotic-writer - OT7 (one drabble each) | 10.2k | FWB AU, “when you’re fwb and he falls in love” | f, a

Songs to Read Playlist @vanaera - various member | 18k+ | drabbles/stories based on songs/lyrics request | a, f, s

Sober by Lorde - PJM | FWB AU | a, s

Your Side of the Bed by Loote - JHS | Rebound AU, Friends to Lovers | slight a, f

Just Say Goodnight and Go by Ariana Grande - KSJ | Neighbor AU, Tsundere!Reader, College AU, Christmas AU | f

400 Lux by Lorde - MYG | Boxer AU, Bestfriend AU | a, implied s

Mikrokosmos by BTS - JJK | The Prince and His Rose AU,, football player!jungkook, childhood friend AU, writer!reader, idiots to loves, bestfriend au | f, a 🌷

↬ update: author removed these fics from the series ↫

Stay for Awhile (She Will be Loved by Maroon 5) - KSJ | College AU | f

Searching for Middle Grounds (Love Alone by Katelyn Tarver) - JJK | Fuckboy AU, Hogwarts AU | f

Reds and Greens of a Supernova (Green by Cavetown) - KNJ | Post-break Up AU | a

Aftermaths Before Causes (Make Out in my Car by Moses Sumney and Sufjan Stevens) - KTH | Sugar Daddy AU | a, f

Werewolf AU @littlemeowmeowschimmy - one shot per member | 31.8k | s, f

Mark Me | Jungkook - bestfriend jungkook x human reader

Come Play | Taehyung - classmate taehyung, FWB (sort of)

Vamps and Wolves | Jimin - werewolf!jimin x vampire!reader, Enemies to Lovers (my favorite from the series). read Part 2

Librarian | Namjoon - Librarian Namjoon x Hunter Reader

My Moon | Hoseok - Tattoo Artist Staff Hoseok x Bartender Werewolf!Reader

Sexy Drug | Yoongi - Werewolf Yoongi x Witch Reader, Music Producer (my 2nd favorite)

Best Friend | Seokjin - Tattoo Artist! Seokjin x Bestfriend!Reader

🥕[Completed Fics/Series]

Yoongi

And They Were Roommates + Give it to Me @joopiterjoon - two shot | 9.8k | Roommate AU, kind of Brat!Reader, PWP, a bit of bdsm | s (this is very hot 🔥)

Come Home @kookiesjoonies - one shot | 3.2k | Exes AU | s, a 🌷

The Early Shift @hobidreams - series + drabbles | 27k+ | Enemies to Lovers, Coffee Shop AU, Barista AU, hate sex | s, a, f ~ [3/3 + 5 drabbles] 🌷

Six Punch Man @tendershepherd - one shot | 5k | Office AU, Enemies to Lovers, Christmas AU | f ↬ update: author deactivated but still on AO3 as shepherdbook ↫

Jimin

Call Me Baby @hueseok - one shot | 12.3k | College AU, Friends to Lovers, Roommate AU, Fake Dating | f, a, s 🌷

Imagine by hoseoksyn/bluesxde (AO3) - drabble | 1.4k | Friends to Lovers, Fake Dating AU | f, s (author deactivated but fic is still on ao3)

Tutor + Part 2 @lysyuta - two shot | 5.1k | Fuckboy AU, Tutor AU | S, A ~ [2/2]

Your Tiny Pinky @megahwn drabble | 700 wc | soulmate AU | f

Taehyung

Business Attire @hisunshiine - one shot | 10.5k | part of The CEO Series, Assistant AU, Boss AU, Regional Manager!Taehyung | f, s 🌷

Love so Shallow @jimlingss - series | 34.8k | Humor, Best Friend AU, Roommate AU, eventual Post-College AU, eventual Unrequited | f, a 🌷 this is my #holygrailfic

Nightcall @joonbird - one shot | 7k | One Night Stand (gone wrong), Strangers to Lovers, Humor | s 🌷

The Manual @jeonschim - one shot | 5.4k | Unrequited Love, Best Friend AU | f, a

Sunflower Girl @rohobi - one shot | 20k | Highschool AU to College AU, Enemies to Lovers, Roommate AU, “Kim Taehyung is a killer of flowers and a wrecker of hearts” | f, a, implied s

Note: the fic is best read on mobile (for some reason it says tumblr is restricted on desktop). I read this on AO3 instead

Jungkook

21st Century Love @gukyi - drabble | 1k | enemies to lovers, College AU | f

Alpha and Omega @tendershepherd - one shot | 24k | Hogwarts AU, Fantasy, Magic AU, Action | a, f 🌷 ↬ update: author deactivated but story can be read on AO3 ↫

Apartment 2B @bangtanbetchfics - one shot | 18k | Neighbor AU, Dog Sitter AU (temporary dog sitting), Noona AU | s, f

Cabin Fever @untaemedqueen - one shot | 4.9k | Hybrid AU, Best Friend AU, black panther!jungkook x black panther!reader | s, a, f

The One Where Jeongguk’s Obsessed With Your Scent @angelguk - drabble | 1.5k | Werewolf AU, Alpha!Jungkook x Omega!OC, College AU | slight f/a

First and Last @kookiesjoonies - one shot | 4.2k | Best Friend AU, Virgin!reader, Never Have I Ever game | f, s 🌷

Grain of Sand @jungkookiebus - one shot | 4.2k | Slice of Life, Established Relationship, Blind!Jungkook | f, s 🌷

Hands On Learning @ladyartemesia - one shot | 5.3k | Grad School AU, Friends to Lovers, Humor | f, s 🌷

Helping Hands @0gguksthighs - one shot | 4.3k | Best Friend AU, Virgin!Reader, PWP | s, f 🌷 ↬ update: author removed the fic ↫

His Side, Her Side @scriptaed - drabble series | 38.6k | Co-worker AU, Mutual Pining, low-key Soulmate AU, alternating POVs | f, a, implied s ~ [12/12] 🌷

I'm Yours @/hueseok - drabble | 1k | Royalty AU, Enemies to Lovers, Arranged Marriage | s 🌷

Keyed @taemyg - one shot | 3.8k | Neighbor AU, Humor, Enemies to Lovers, OC keyed his BMW 😂 | f 🌷

Little Wolf, Pretty Wolf, Your Wolf @readyplayerhobi - one shot | 22.3k | Omega!Jungkook x Alpha!Reader, Werewolf AU | f, a s

Midas @gukyi - one shot | 32k | Enemies to Lovers, CEO AU, Magical Realism | f, a 🌷

My Dear Friend Series: Friend In Me + Exclusives Only @ktheist - two-shot | 15k | College AU, FWB AU, F2L, party friend!jungkook, feat ex-boyfriend!Namjoon | f, implied s

Neighbours @minsugapie - one shot | 4k | Neighbor AU, feat ex-boyfriend!Taehyung, talking through the wall | fluff, slight a 🌷

No Strings Attached @jeonschim - series | 43.8k | Fake Dating AU, Ex-Fake BF, Enemies to Lovers | f, a ~ [11/11]

Pride and Prejudice @kimcritique - one shot | 22k | Enemies to Lovers, Hogwarts AU | f, a ↬ update: author deactivated 😥 ↫

Serendipity @rohobi - series | 50k | Best Friend AU, FWB AU, Virgin!Reader | s, f, slight a ~ [19/?] 🌷

update: author canceled the series years ago (but they provided outline for last chapter so the whole story still feels complete). Recently, author continued the story on Wattpad (with five new chapters 🥰)

if you have read this before and prefer to start from the revised chapters onward, read from Love is a Kiss and a Hug

if reading from the start, I recommend reading on WP (pseud is: rohobi)

The Nudist and The Purist + JK’s POV @gxtsmxt-blog - one shot | 20k | Exhibitionist Jungkook, College AU, Virgin!reader | s, a, f

Waking Up in Vegas @ppersonna - one shot | 3.1k | accidental wedding, brother's best friend | s, f

Whenever You're Ready @ktheist - one shot | 3k | Soulmate AU, reverse proposal | f 🌷

Work It Out @choiwrites - one shot | Enemies to Lovers, Carpenter!Jungkook, Interior Designer!Reader | s

OT7/Multi-pairing

※ VMIN (Taehyung x Reader | Jimin x Reader)

Wrapped Around @jjkfire - series [8/8] | 108k | College AU, FWB AU, two different finales to choose from, you know boys like them are no good for you | s, a, f

Jimin Finale | Taehyung Finale

prequel: You’ve Got Me (M) (Taehyung)

※ OT7

Because I’m a Man, I’ll Hold Your Hand @army-author - one shot } 3k | comedy, ghost hunting | f

Anonymous @holyfluffly - series [4/4] | wc:? | Illustrator!Reader, Idol!BTS, Guess the Member, Soulmate AU ↬ update: author removed the fic ↫

🥕updated links/status/deactivated authors: 2021 June 🥕link to other reading lists 🌹 I love to read so feel free to recommend a fic

#ggukkiereadinglist #bts fanfic #bts angst #bts fluff #bts x reader

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chaoticpete · 3 years

Text

One Year Writing Celebration

Hi! So I am so excited that it has been about one year since I joined this amazing community and started writing for all of you amazing, special people!

So far I have met nothing but kind and amazing people in this community and honestly you guys made my 2020 all that more tolerable. So I would love to have the chance and make some more amazing moots and read what you wanna write!

I decided to have a writing celebration! And the best part? It doesn't even have to be anyone from Marvel, I just wanna read more amazing people's works!

Below I shall provide some prompts, tropes, whatever you would like to pick. I’m so excited and I hope you guys have as much fun as I will with this and I hope you can participate!

Rules:

*Please send me an ask if you’re interested in joining. Make sure to include which topic you would like and what person you will write for.

*Tag me when you finish and post (if you don’t hear from me please feel free to message...Tumblr is very wonky)

*OC’s are welcomed

*M o s t ships are welcomed...most. (If you know it’ll make people uncomfortable...please don’t write it. In fact, I’ll probably tell you.)

*Two things per person

*Please pick a prompt or trope from the list. If you prefer to write your own idea that’s okay but just please tell me when telling me who you would like to write for and what so I can add it.

*Smut/ Dark fics are fine but please NO underage characters. If there’s any like dub-con, non-con or just anything that you feel will make others uncomfortable please tag properly! (If not I won’t post)

*Please make sure to tag me and use to tag #ChaoticPete1year so it’s easier for me to find and when I post it on my library 💖

*If there is a line through the prompt, it means two people are already doing that one.

*Just have fun!

Ending date is July 23rd, 2021!

Prompts:

*First date

*First dance

*Bodyswap

*Haunted

*Magic

*De-ageing

*Merpeople

*Supernatural AU

*Alternate Universe

*Barista/Coffee Shop

*Punk AU

*Royalty AU ( @kitkatd7 w/ Bucky or Loki)

*Historical AU

*Arranged Marriage ( @cocoamoonmalfoy w/ Peter Parker)

Highschool/college AU

Tropes:

*Enemies to lovers

*Friends to lovers

*Enemies to friends to lovers

*Childhood sweethearts

*Mutual pining

*Requited love

*Unrequited love

Dialogue Prompts:

“Would you still love me if I was a worm?” “...what are you on? But yes. Yes, I would.”

“Babe! I can’t find the dog.” “We don’t have a dog?” “...surprise?” ( @cocoamoonmalfoy w/ Peter Parker)

“Do you ever look at someone and wonder “why are they like this?.” “Yeah, you all the time” ( @spideyspeaches w/ Peter Parker)

“Well, that’s one thing off my bucket list.” “Who has something like this on their bucket list?!” ( @buckys-other-punk w/ Peter Parker) ( @theofficialzivadavid w/ Tony Stark)

“What are you thinking about?” “How to take over the world.”

“You’re one insult away from starting a war.” ( @kitkatd7 w/ Bucky or Loki)

“Now if you excuse me, I have a scene to go make.”

“Oh no.” “What happened? Is everything okay?” “I think I just felt...an emotion.” “You have got to be fu-”

“Pleaseee. I’ll do anything.” “Even a kiss?” “Okay, maybe not anything.”

“Hang on. Where’s (person’s name).”

“I don’t...exactly hate you I guess.”

“So, you broke my favorite mug...and you’re breaking up with me?”

“Not everyone could be born with brains and beauty...just be happy you have one of them.”

“Wait...wanna run that by me again?”

“Dude. We talked about this. Boundaries!”

“In what universe is this ever okay?!” ( @cocoamoonmalfoy w/ Peter Parker)

“Wait...that’s what that means?”

Tagging any of my writing babes who I think might be interested...and if not, that’s okay🥺

@tommyunderoos @allegra-writes @cherry-hyejin @spideyspeaches @cocoamoonmalfoy @ambivalent-anarchy @kitkatd7 @buckys-other-punk

...I need to annoy more writing moots omg 😭

#tom holland #marvel #x reader #peter parker #peter parker x reader #spiderman #peter x reader #tom holland spiderman #mcu peter parker #avengers #marvel fanfiction #fanfic celebration #fandom fanfiction #tom holland fanfiction #music fanfiction #movie fanfiction #fan fics writing #chaoticpete1year #writing celebration

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upamongthestarss · 4 years

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Perfect Timing//Bill Denbrough x fem reader

Please be kind! This is only my second time publishing on tumblr, so I’m not really sure what I’m doing, but here we are!

Warnings: smut, brief mention of fem oral receiving, swearing, mild angst, underage drinking

Spring break came way too slowly, especially for Y/n. Freshman year of college is said to be one of the best years of your life, but it’s definitely the worst. Her high school was entirely too easy for her, probably because her teachers were just idiots. Then college hit, and the workload was unbearable. Not to mention, she grew homesick for her parents and her best friends and even a tiny bit for Bill.

Oh, how she hated Bill back home.

Well, okay, she didn’t hate him, it was more of just a mutual tension that sometimes led to the Losers separating them at all costs.

They went on a few dates freshman year, and even kissed once, but it all ended when popular Autumn asked Bill to “help her with English” at lunch one day. He completely forgot to tell Y/n, but didn’t think much of the whole affair anyway. When Y/n walked out of the lunch line, she smiled at her newly official boyfriend. He was hunched over a piece of paper, diligently writing with ginger hair falling into his eyes. When Autumn saw her coming over, she tapped Bill on the shoulder, and kissed him full on the mouth when he turned to her.

Y/n’s hands went slack, causing her tray to clatter to the ground. Tomato soup splattered all over her new white Keds. She obviously looked down to see the damage, and missed Bill pushing Autumn off of him. He went over to check on her and help her clean up, but she stormed off to the bathrooms.

From then on out, there’s been so much tension between them. Even though Bill explained what happened countless times, she’s absolutely refused to listen. She’s had trust issues after her biological father cheated on her mother when she was little, and this, well, this basically made them inflate like the economy. She wasn’t on speaking terms with him until the end of the school year, and even then their friendship was rocky.

But there was also a sexual tension. Bill and Y/n still had blatantly obvious feelings for each other, whether they wanted to admit or not. In fact, they even went to senior prom together, but it ended in disaster. There was a dramatic exit from Y/n when he mentioned how he was on good terms with Autumn now, and she was really sorry for what happened.

“Why the hell would you bring that up now?” Y/n rose from her seat.

“B-b-because she t-told me she w-wanted us to-”

“Can’t we just completely forget what happened back then? It was so long ago.”

Bill flushed. “Well, it r-r-really seems l-like you’ve n-n-never forgotten ab-about it these past th-three years.”

She threw her napkin on the table and left after saying, “You’re a dick.”

That night she vented to Eddie and ultimately admitted to having feelings for him, but he knew that all along anyway.

That night was the last time they talked until it was time for Bill to leave for NYU.

“Good luck,” she told him, bouncing on the balls of her feet nervously.

“Th-thank you, Y/n, y-you too!” he was so excited that day that he even pulled her into a hug, much to her surprise (and delight).

And now, here she is, on the plane to Palm Springs. It’s a long flight from Marywood, so Y/n uses her time to finish her homework. She’s majorly jetlagged by the time she lands at Palm Springs International. Luckily, the cab ride isn’t ridiculously long. When she gets to Richie’s beach house, he’s on the porch with his feet up and a daiquiri in hand.

“Y/N!!!!” he shouts, putting his drink to the side and running down the stairs.

“RICHIE!!!!” she yells back, dropping her bags to run and hug him.

“Oh, it’s been so long!”

“I know!! And holy shit, your house is gorgeous!”

“I’m telling you, Y/n, I lucked out so much by scoring that audition. Can you believe it? Rich Records Tozier, the nation’s youngest beloved DJ.”

“Hardly,” she chuckles. “So how is the life of fame treating you?”

“Oh, brilliant. Come on in, I’ll give you a tour,” he scoops up her bag and leads her to the door. It’s an incredible house, with a beautiful kitchen and even a movie theater.

“And here’s your room,” he gestures to the first door upstairs.

“May I?” she asks, hand on the doorknob.

“Be my guest.”

She swings it open to a redheaded girl on one of the two beds. She looks up from her magazine, smirking. “Hey, roomie!”

“Bev!” Y/n shrieks as her best friend runs to her and practically knocks her over.

“When did you get here?!”

“About an hour ago. Stan’s here too, but he’s taking a nap.”

“Well, we’ll have to fix that, won’t we?” Y/n grins mischievously.

“Everyone else is supposed to get here tomorrow morning, except for Mike. He’s coming tonight.”

“Oh, thank God. No Bill for a half day more.”

“Oh, Y/n, don’t be so close-minded,” Bev giggles and they sit down on the same bed, bursting with so much to catch up on. Richie doesn’t know if he should sit down with them or just go back to his daiquiri, but the doorbell rings.

“Saved by the bell,” he says, getting the side eye in response.

The girls talk for hours until they decide to say hello to Mike. Y/n stops at the bathroom first, and it takes her a while to find the kitchen after that. She has to follow the voices and Richie’s booming laugh.

“Sorry, I got lost,” she says, turning in the kitchen. “Hi, Mi-”

The third person talking to Richie and Beverly is not Mike.

It’s Bill. And she looks like a total bum in her old sundress and messy ponytail. She isn’t wearing a drop of makeup, either.

“Y/n.”

“Bill. Good to see you,” she holds out her hand professionally. He shakes it.

Is it good to see him? Looking at his cerulean eyes certainly sends butterflies through her stomach and through… other parts of her body.

“Y-you too.”

That immaculate stutter. She sits down at a barstool and crosses her legs together tightly. Richie and Beverly are quick to notice it, but restrain from commenting.

“I thought you were coming in tomorrow morning?”

She doesn’t sound rude or accusatory, just curious.

“M-my flight got c-c-cancelled.”

“Okay, gotcha.”

She drums her fingertips on the counter restlessly, not really knowing what else to say.

Luckily, Richie has a plan in case things get awkward between these two- and he’s already having to use it.

“Anyone want a drink?”

************************

“Nursing school is so insane. In anatomy, our teacher dissected a literal human body, and we had to examine it.”

“Eddie, please. We’re eating,” Y/n coughs.

“It was disgusting, but it was also fascinating,” he defends himself.

“Whatever floats your boat,” Ben shrugs.

“Y/n, tell us more about Marywood,” Eddie says, but she’s way too busy watching Bill talk to Richie’s cute next door neighbor while holding her little sister.

“You’re so good with her!” she simpers, tossing her shiny brown hair.

“Y/n? Earth to Y/n?”

“What?”

“How’s Marywood?”

“Oh, it’s… fine.”

“Just fine? Did you pick a major yet?”

She shakes her head.

“What about that guy? Are you still with him?”

“David? No, we were together for a while, but I guess the spark just kinda died. I mean, he initiated the breakup, but it was all mutual.”

Eddie squirts a dollop of sunscreen the size of a clementine in his hand. “That sucks. I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Don’t be,” Y/n shrugs, averting her gaze back to Bill. She’s very glad that she's wearing sunglasses, to hide her stares.

The cute girl was right, he is good with that little girl. Her heart would be melted, but Bill keeps flirting with the older sister. It’s disgusting.

And then, that girl has the audacity to drop the rattle she shook in the baby’s face. Y/n is close enough to hear the conversation, or at least read lips.

“Oh, l-l-l-let m-me get that.”

“Don’t worry, I got it,” she smiles, bending over so stealthily so that her breasts are all but out of that bikini.

“Ugh,” Y/n rolls her eyes.

“What’s up?” Ben asks.

“Nothing. I’m just going to go to the bathroom,” she stands up and walks almost catatonically to the door.

Instead of going to the bathroom, she finds a glass and slams it on the table.

“D-damn, Y/n. That’s n-n-not a napkin, you kn-know.”

She jumps at Bill’s voice. He obviously followed her in, and she’s not too thrilled about it.

“Funny,” she replies, searching the cabinets. “Do you want anything?”

“I-I was ac-actually getting d-drinks.”

“Oh, for you and your new girlfriend? Hey, let me know when the wedding is. That is, if I even get on the guest list.”

“What’s your p-p-problem?”

“I don’t have a problem.”

Y/n finds a bottle of straight vodka and pours it right in the glass.

“Hey, its eh-eh-eleven AM,” Bill warns her, reaching for the glass. Unfortunately, their hands grab for it at the same time and it goes crashing to the ground.

“Great, thanks,” she says.

“I didn’t w-want you to be w-w-wasted all d-day.”

“Listen, Bill,” she takes a deep breath. “I really appreciate your concern. I do. But it’s my life, and if I want to get wasted this early, then no one should stop me.”

He doesn’t answer. They both grab rags and start to clean up around their feet.

“Th-this kind of r-r-reminds me of a certain sit-situation involving t-tomato soup,” Bill risks saying.

It was a terrible idea.

“Are you kidding me? I thought we moved on from that!”

“Yeah, so w-w-we can j-joke about it now!”

She’s silent for a minute, a blend of wrath and sadness.

“Just,” Y/n says, “Just go back out with your girlfriend.”

“I-I-I h-hardly know- o-okay, what the hell is y-y-your problem? We’re n-not together an-anymore!!! You sh-sh-shouldn’t c-care about my l-l-love life.”

“You don’t get it, do you?” she stands up, vodka dripping from the rag to her toes. “I don’t care that I shouldn’t care. I do care! I’ve always cared!”

Bill is speechless, and she honestly doesn’t blame him. Y/n assumes he doesn’t feel the same about her. After all, they haven’t dated since freshman year. Sighing, she puts the rag in the sink and walks back outside.

She’s opening up her book and lying on her stomach to get a tan when Y/n hears an obnoxious “Excuse me?”

She looks up to the girl, who could literally be a bikini model.She looks at Y/n like she’s a piece of dirt, and Y/n just wants to smack her. She could never hurt anyone, though.

“Um, do you know when Bill will be back with the drinks?”

“Not a clue.”

******

Bill absolutely could not stop thinking of Y/n all day. He never really can, ever, but his thoughts have been out of control all damn day. They range from wild fantasies to regrets from way back when to just simply: She still likes me, she still likes me, she still likes me!!!!

He wants more than anything to talk to her and confess he’s been in love with her since high school, maybe even before that. But some small voice in Bill’s head tells him that even if she does have feelings, she won’t want to act on them. After all, he’s been nothing but an asshole to her.

Then again, so has she.

It’s really ironic that they’re so abrasive towards each other. Y/n is so kind and friendly to everyone she meets; that’s why Bill fell for her. And everyone tells him that he’s nothing but a sweetheart. And he’s always treated his every girlfriend like a princess.

But it’s Y/n he wants as a girlfriend, and it always has been.

Y/n comes running down the stairs, using the bansiters to prop herself up and skip the last couple steps. She’s been strangely lighthearted after she made that confession to Bill. It had been a weight on shoulders for the longest time, after all. And now that it’s out of the bag, she feels as if she can finally move on.

Holy shit, she’s so cute, Bill says to himself. She has this youthful energy, but the looks of a gorgeous young woman. Not to mention her outfit- a pastel yellow halter top, short jean shorts, and a sky blue scrunchie- looks magnificent.

“Okay, I’m ready to go!” she grins widely. “Sorry for the holdup!”

“You’re good,” Richie replies. “We were just figuring out transportation, considering I can only take five of us in my car.”

“I don’t mind taking the trunk,” Y/n shrugs. “Anyone else?”

“I will,” Beverly volunteers.

“Okay, great, and five of you can squish in the backseat. Mike claimed shotgun earlier.”

Everyone else groans while he flashes a smile and gives them finger guns.

“So charming,” Bev laughs and grabs Y/n’s hand. They run out to the car and squish in the trunk.

“Bev, I have to tell you something,” Y/n whispers.

“What?”

“I’m still not over Bill.”

“Thank you, Y/n,” she responds sarcastically.

“How did you know that? I only told Eddie!”

“It was just a little obvious,” she laughs. “And the good news is that we all think he feels the same way!”

“I don’t think he does, Bev,” Y/n shakes her head.

“What makes you say that?”

“Well, I told him today-”

“You what?”

“Shush!” she scolds as the boys get in the car. Luckily they’re all talking and can’t hear the girls if they whisper. “It just sort of... slipped out. But he didn’t even say anything. He just kind of… froze? It was so awkward.”

“You know he’s a little awkward around girls that he likes.”

“Is he, though?”

“Sure he is!”

“I don’t know, Bev. He stood there for a full thirty seconds without saying anything, and he just let me leave,” Y/n explains. “I think if he really liked me, he would have told me by now.”

Beverly gets quiet. “I’m so sorry, Y/n.”

“Hey, it’s okay! The timing was never right, and that- that happens. And it’s better I know now so I’m not hung up on him for the rest of my life.”

The rest of the drive is mostly just Beverly telling Y/n that there’s someone out there for her, and to keep her eyes open at the restaurant.

It’s a bright restaurant, very tropical and very flamboyant. A lush plant, obviously made of silicon, is the centerpiece of every table.

Good, it can hide me from Bill and spare my embarrassment, Y/n thinks as she sits opposite him. Unfortunately, Ben asks the hostess to take it away so he can see everyone. Y/n is mortified. Being directly across from her, he can watch and judge the girl the entire dinner.

She tries her hardest the whole meal not to pay Bill any mind, but it gets difficult when he starts getting tipsy. And drunk Bill can be wild. Singing and dancing on the tables wild. Luckily he isn’t at that point yet.

She doesn’t even know how he was able to buy drinks here; he’s only nineteen. The waitress must have a crush on him or something. Maybe she and Richie’s neighbor could start a Bill fanclub.

Y/n has a feeling the waitress would ask for her ID, though, so she sticks to soda. And three Shirley Temples is never good on anyone’s bladder.

“I’m going to the bathroom,” she announces. “Anyone else?”

Everyone shakes their heads. Everyone except…

“Me! M-m-me!” Bill waves his hand around like a hyper child.

“Great, I’m a babysitter now,” Y/n murmurs.

She starts walking to the bathroom, Bill hot on her heels. Surprisingly enough, when she finishes peeing, he’s actually waiting for her.

“F-f-finally. G-g-girls take so long in the buh-buh-bathroom.”

She ignores him.

“Y/nnnnn,” he slurs. “I’ve been m-m-meaning to t-t-tell you, your a-a-ass looks fantastic in th-those shorts.”

“Because that’s not a rude thing to say at all,” she replies, feeling her face burn up.

“I’m n-n-not trying to be r-rudeeee,” Bill grabs her waist and pulls her in. Y/n can smell all the alcohol on his breath, and it’s disgusting. He kisses her full on the mouth.

She shoves him off, embarrassed by his behavior. “You’re drunk.”

“If b-b-being drunk makes me w-w-want to m-make out with you, I-I-I never want t-to be so-sober.”

That hits Y/n hard. Bill Denbrough wants her. But only when he’s drunk.

He doesn’t love her in his right mind. This is all she has, and she can’t even fathom just taking advantage of him when he’s drunk. Using someone would hurt her in such an inexplicable way, and not to mention it would tear whatever small bond she had with Bill into shreds.

She plops back down in her seat, barely touching the rest of her food or speaking for the rest of the night.

When she gets to her shared room with Bev, Y/n takes a shower. She’s always loved showers because they’re a place where you can cry without risk of anyone hearing over the water running.

And that’s exactly what Y/n does. She lets the tears stream down her face, washed away by the showerhead’s water.

*******

Bill knows he got plastered last night, so it’s no surprise when he wakes up with a pounding headache. But he isn’t sure why Y/n is so quiet, especially around him. Usually she has a remark or at least a glare for him, but she seems almost meek today.

He pulls Beverly aside at one point, and asks if he did anything to her last night.

“I don’t know, Bill. You guys went to the bathroom at the same time, and when you came back, Y/n seemed really upset.”

“L-l-like angry, or s-sad?”

“Sad. But she didn’t tell me anything that happened. I’m sorry, Bill.”

“It’s o-o-okay. Th-Thanks, Bev.”

He spends the rest of the day trying to remember something- anything- from last night. Bathrooms. Bathrooms.

There are some vignettes. Y/n across from him, in that pretty top. Watching her ass as she walked to the bathrooms.

Oh, shit. Bill made some sort of comments about those shorts. What happened after that? He kissed her, didn’t he? But why would that make her sad?

When evening rolls around, Bill still doesn’t remember anything new. He’s the only one in the living room, not even paying attention to the TV. His friends come bounding down the stairs, all wearing sneakers and athletic outfits.

“A-a-are you g-guys going somewhere?”

“Yeah, to the new rope climbing place,” Stan replies.

“Where’s Y/n?”

“She has vertigo, and wanted to stay here. We thought you could stay here so she’s not alone all night.”

“You d-d-didn’t th-think about asking me f-first?”

“We drew names out of a hat,” Beverly steps in. “You just weren’t around when we did it.”

“Isn’t that a l-l-little ruh-rude to Y-Y/n? One of us is g-g-going to st-stay with her instead of h-having fun?”

“No, Bill, it was the opposite!” Richie tries to save the group, much to their chagrin. “We were voting on who didn’t get to stay home with Y/n. And you won! You get to!”

“Wh-what i-if I want to donate m-my win?”

“Doesn’t work like that. Wins are final.”

It’s all BS, and Bill knows it. There never was a hat draw, everyone knows that Bill and Y/n have a lot to work out, and they don’t want the two to go back from spring break with even more animosity for each other.

Also, they know that the two have feelings that have been expressed so wrongly over the years. Maybe now it’s time to work them out.

“So we’re going to head out now; have fun with Y/n!” Eddie waves, and they run out excitedly.

Bill sighs, not knowing what he’s going to do with Y/n all night. Maybe she’ll just be antisocial and hide in her room all night, but he personally hopes she won’t. He decides to hang out by the pool for a while, and changes into his swim trunks.

By the time he gets outside, though, Y/n is already there. She’s hugging her knees to her chest and watching the little waterfall intently.

“Hey,” Bill says, making her jump.

“Hey.”

“C-c-can I join you?”

She nods.

“Why aren’t you with the others?”

“B-because I w-w-won their ‘contest,’”

“Contest?” she shakes her head, not understanding.

“To b-b-babysit you, ap-apparently.”

��Ah. Sounds legitimate.”

He doesn’t know how to respond to that, so he just lets the sounds of the waterfall and the faint grasshoppers fill the silence. He’s sure Y/n doesn’t mind, though. When everyone else complained about the summer grasshoppers as kids, she would always dote on how they’re melodious and comforting.

Bill can’t hold himself back any longer.

“Y/n, what d-d-did I do l-last night?”

She turns to him. “You really don’t remember?”

“I re-remember making a com-comment, which I-I’m sorry about b-by the way, th-that was an a-asshole move. And I-I remember kissing y-you. But then what?”

Taking a deep breath, Y/n continues. “Well, then I pushed you off and told you that you were drunk.”

She pauses.

“And th-then?”

“Then you said, ‘If I want to make out with you when I’m drunk, then I don’t ever want to be sober.’”

That’s it? Bill thinks. He’s not stupid enough to voice his thoughts, luckily.

“Oh, Y-Y-Y/n, I w-w-was drunk. I d-didn’t know what I w-w-was saying.”

“Listen, Bill. I know you remember what I told you yesterday in the kitchen. And what you told me at the restaurant really hurt, okay?”

“Why? I-I wanted to k-k-kiss you,” he asks, genuinely confused.

“You’re such an idiot sometimes!” Y/n laughs incredulously. “You wanted to kiss me when you were drunk, not in your right mind!”

“I al-always want to k-k-kiss you in my right mind!”

“What?!”

“I-I think I love you, Y/n.”

She’s frozen. Could he actually mean that? Has he been drinking again? Hearing that from Bill Denbrough has been her dream since… forever.

“I think I love you too, Bill.”

He jumps up from his lounge chair, and leans over Y/n. He tucks a piece of hair behind her ear and kisses her tenderly, gently. Her lips are just as soft as he remembers them to be all those years ago, softer than any other girl he’s kissed.

“Wow,” she beams as they pull apart. “I guess I knew this, but you’re a much better kisser than my ex.”

He laughs. “W-why, thank you. You’re n-n-not so bad y-yourself.”

“Thanks,” she giggles. “I just… I can’t believe this is happening. I feel like doing something crazy now, something outrageous.”

“L-like what?”

“Hm…” she thinks for a minute. “Do you want to go skinny dipping?”

“Okay, sure,” Bill chuckles.

Grinning, she begins to peel off her one piece. She slips the straps off, and the rest slowly slides off her body. Her breasts are exposed first, then her stomach, then everything. Her skin is smooth and glorious.

Bill pulls off his swim trunks and throws them behind him. Y/n wants to tease him about his erection, but she’s way too shocked at his size.

They bask in the beauty of each other for a moment before they dive into the water, crisp and cool on their bare bodies. Y/n splashes Bill right in his face.

He pushes wet strands of hair from his ocean eyes. “H-how dare you?”

“What are you going to do about it?” she taunts.

“This,” Bill says, throwing Y/n over his shoulder and taking her outside the water. She’s both screaming and laughing her head off at this point. He carries her all the way to the deep end and tosses her in.

When she surfaces, Y/n makes sure to flip him off.

“So r-r-rude.”

He cannonballs in, and they swim around, and eventually go under the waterfall. They end up making out and gasping for air.

“D-d-do you want to tuh-take this inside?” Bill whispers.

She nods, and they get out. As Y/n shivers, Bill gets them fluffy towels from a bin by the chairs.

Grabbing his hand, she pulls him through the sliding glass doors. They run around the house in nothing but towels, giggling and kissing and dripping pool water everywhere. The two finally make it to Bill’s room and go directly to the bed (after locking the door).

“Spruh-spread your legs,” Bill breathes in her ear, sending goosebumps up and down her body.

She obeys and lets him kiss her knees, her thighs, and eventually her core. He pleases Y/n in a way her old boyfriend never did.

When she finishes, Bill holds her for a minute so she can catch her breath. Then, when he turns around to put on a condom, she moves against the wall.

“Oh, s-s-so you w-want wall sex n-now?” Bill raises his eyebrows.

“Maybe,” she shrugs. “If you’re comfortable with it.”

Instead of using words, Bill throws Y/n up against the wall and kisses her roughly. Their tongues clash, and she loves every second of it. Then he goes in. He starts slow at first, but begins to pick up the pace with her approval.

“D-damn, you’re so t-t-tight,” he whispers while she keeps muttering his name.

“Probably because I wasn’t with someone as big as you before.”

Hearing that makes him turn redder than his hair. “Really?”

“Really,” she sighs. “Can you go a little slower?”

He listens to her, and almost screams in pleasure when she starts to suck on his neck.

They both finish in a couple minutes, and are pretty burned out- Y/n especially because she’s never made such rough love before.

She lies in his arms, back on the bed, and traces the love mark forming on his neck.

“I think I love you,” Y/n says for the second time tonight.

“I-I th-think I love you t-too.”

They can’t help smiling for the umpteenth time in the past hour. Their stars had never aligned until now, and it couldn’t be a more perfect exchange of love. The wait was unbearable, but incredibly worth it.

Y/n and Bill make each other feel whole, like there was a sort of void within each other, unfilled until now.

“Hey,” Y/n’s voice is soft and gentle. “I’m so sorry about these past years. You know I have trust issues, but I took them too far and didn’t treat you right. And I’m so sorry.”

“I’m s-sorry, too. I’ve been an ass-asshole to y-y-you, a-and it’s m-m-my fault we broke uh-up in the f-first place.”

“Don’t say that,” Y/n frowns. “It was Evil Autumn’s fault.”

They chuckle.

Resting her head on Bill’s chest, Y/n asks the dreaded question.

“So what’s going to become of us? After spring break.”

Bill thinks for a minute, stroking her hair, and admits, “I don’t w-w-want us to c-c-cut each other off again.”

“Neither do I.”

“I think our sc-sc-schools are like t-t-two hours ap-apart; that’s n-not terrible.”

“It’s not,” Y/n agrees. “Maybe we could take turns driving every weekend, and find a halfway point or something.”

“A-an ex-exact halfway point,” Bill adds.

“An exact halfway point.”

They can make it work, they’ve got to. Both Bill and Y/n are extremely optimistic about the future ahead, now that every feeling has been sorted out between them. And even in the unfavorable event where things don’t work out, there will always be Palm Springs.

Bill presses a kiss to her forehead. There’s not a chance that they won’t make it. The timing is finally, after all these years, perfect.

#bill denbrough #bill denbrough x reader #bill denbrough smut #stephen king IT #the losers club #mild angst #some smut

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veliseraptor · 3 years

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2020 Fanfiction Round-Up

I do one of these every year! And have since I think 2016. Can’t break a tradition even if it’s been a clusterfuck of a time and filling this out was in some ways an exercise in remembering the ways I have failed myself as a writer this year.

But oh well!

Total Year-Long Wordcount: I’ll post the final final number tonight after I finish the writing I want to do this afternoon (and plan to do this afternoon), but it’s currently 451,803 words written this year. Guessing I’m going to land somewhere around 453,000ish. (AO3 claims a higher number than that but that’s because it is counting the entirety of fics where I posted chapters this year.

This year I wrote and posted: I wrote a fair number more than I posted (there are five fics finished but for various reasons unposted on my hard drive) but based on Tumblr I posted 78 posts in my fic tag, which, not including chapter specific updates and three sentence meme answers (but including at least two Tumblr-only longer fics), probably comes out to about 60 or so “full length” fics that saw the light of day in 2020.

Overall Thoughts

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d predicted?

Well, I wrote more than I did last year, which is sort of a surprise to me (all things considered) but also maybe not, because I was doing a lot less of most other things that could’ve been occupying my time, including two hours daily of commuting.

But still less than I did in 2018. Which is fine.

What’s your own favorite story of the year?

Lord, I don’t know. It depends on when you ask me. Lately I’ve been in a bit of a “I hate everything I’ve written ever” state of mind, so that makes it sort of hard to do any kind of...reasonable assessment.

I know I’m proud of With Absolute Splendor but I have all these reservations about it and I can’t reread it for the most part because I always notice new things I wish I’d done differently. I feel pretty good about efforts in a common cause but something about it still makes me cringe, which I suspect has to do with my general self-consciousness. I have a hard time feeling unreservedly proud about...anything I wrote this year, really.

I feel like the closest I get is maybe nor autumn falter which I am pretty pleased with and also which does hurt me a lot personally. Or I did end up overall pretty pleased with what came out of By Proxy.

But also the more I look at this question the more I start hating all my own work, so...guess this is kind of coming at a bad time.

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?

I mean, I started writing in my first non-English fandom in many years, and specifically one where I was trying to engage more with the cultural background of the setting (in a way I wasn’t with, say, Death Note, when I was writing Death Note fic). So that was a risk. And I learned that it’s very stressful and there’s so many ways to make mistakes and I am, in many ways, a coward. But also I think I’ve learned a fair amount thanks to a lot of very patient people on the internet, so...there’s that.

Otherwise...I mean, I got ambitious with a few projects this year (the Big Bang fic and With Absolute Splendor stand out), but I’m not sure how much I really tried new things.

I feel like I had to fight myself a little on writing straight up bad sex for By Proxy - I planned on it being hot, and it really wasn’t. It was mostly just miserable. Which made for a better fic, but was a new experience for me as far as ‘I thought I was going to write porn and that isn’t what I wrote.’

From my past year of writing, what was….

My most popular story of this year:

By far, With Absolute Splendor. In fact, it has now become my second most kudosed fic of all time, behind only fuckin Life in Reverse. So like. That’s a thing.

(It is still less than half as many as Life in Reverse, but for context Life in Reverse has been around for going on eight years.)

Most fun story to write:

Most fics where I feel like “I’m having so much fun writing this!” also go through a “oh god I hate this it’s terrible” phase which makes this sort of hard to assess. But I did have overall a lot of fun writing Mutual Friends despite all my frustration with the canon-wrangling I had to do to make it work in my head.

But also I feel like both Retributive Justice and Embedded were in different ways deeply iddy fics that were just fun to write. That actually goes for a lot of the Whumptober fics. That was a very self-indulgent month. Excited to do it again in February (hopefully, if I can write things in a timely manner at all).

Story with the single sexiest moment:

I feel like the beauty of your repair might be my personal favorite smut I posted this year, but I think my personal favorite that I wrote is in the big bang fic nobody will see until January.

I feel like most of the sexiest moments I’ve written this year are in the porn fics I’m going to start posting in January also. But just generally I feel like the beauty of your repair is the sexiest thing I wrote and posted.

Most “Holy crap, that’s wrong, even for you” story:

I mean, I Come With Knives is definitely up there. It’s not that wrong or anything, but it got pretty intense in some ways I wasn’t expecting. Mostly in how much blood got involved, which was actually more than I’d had it involved in a sex thing before! Kind of surprises me that I haven’t previously done more with bloodplay stuff but. Well. First time for everything!

I don’t think this was a year that really had any “wow, what the fuck, Lise” things in it. Nothing on the level of last year’s winner. I’m almost disappointed in myself.

Abattoir was definitely the story that generated the weirdest conversation and creepiest search questions, though, so it does get points for that.

Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters:

I feel like the writing of everyone else is spring bound was a lot of...me thinking through my Jiang Cheng feelings and specifically my Jiang Cheng post-canon feelings.

the martyr, the victim was pretty formative in shaping how I think about both Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji and their relationship with each other. It was the first fic I wrote that really dug into them in any way, I think, and definitely one that informed how I thought about writing Lan Xichen later.

Hardest story to write:

I was thinking it was the one that I haven’t posted yet but I did technically finish, aka my Big Bang fic, the terrible threesome fic, the massive “I’m gonna keep everyone in the Yi City arc alive” AU that I started shortly after finishing The Untamed and finished in December. So I spent most of the year writing it.

But then I was like - no, I’m going to have to go with we live until we die even though it’s technically been ‘in progress’ for five years and really kicked into gear in 2019 and I just finished it and posted it this year, because that fic was like. The culmination of a big arc in an enormous verse dealing with a whole lot of balls in the air and trying to tie up a whole lot of threads. It was ambitious and the stakes were high and it was full of plot and action which are not two of my strengths...frankly I’m still amazed I pulled the damn thing off.

Biggest Disappointment:

I think it is better if I refrain from going too in depth on this because it would just end up as me listing a bunch of my perceived failings. But I think off the top of my head I’m frustrated by the fact that I still haven’t really managed to write a XueXiao smut fic that quite hits the spot for me, myself. I’ve written two and for various reasons I don’t really like either of them.

Biggest Surprise:

The fact that my Jiang Cheng fic took off the way it did. Legitimately did not see that coming! At all! I mean, I’m delighted by it but it wasn’t what I saw happening as far as “niche I’d find in this fandom” or “thing I’d write that people would really enjoy reading.”

Particularly with By Proxy. That fic got a lot more attention than I would’ve expected.

Most Unintentionally Telling Story:

I feel like every fic I write with Xue Yang in it tells you something about me and most of those things are things that make me, on some level, deeply self-conscious, but I try not to think about that too much.

I feel like the most telling story is maybe we all drift sometimes because I literally wrote it out of a depressive episode about a bad brain day but that wasn’t unintentional.

Favorite Opening Line(s):

1. So it turned out that if you touched the tendons of a dead person’s wrist and channeled a little bit of spiritual energy just right, it made the fingers twitch and curl like they were still alive. (Abattoir)

2. Here’s the thing: your Daozhang is glorious when he kills. (tear out all your tenderness)

3. Turned out that a sect leader’s head came off like anyone else’s. (Unnatural Selection)

4. The first hint that anything had gone awry was the letter from Lan Wangji (His Excellency Hanguang-jun, pardon me) that simply said have you heard from Wei Ying? (some good mistakes)

5. What Jiang Cheng wanted to do, more than anything, was to go home and take a nap. (everyone else is spring bound)

Favorite Line(s) from Anywhere:

I usually keep this to 10 but because I’ve been in such a :| place about my own writing I indulged myself this once.

1. Sometimes it felt like all he had done since descending the mountain was shatter his own dreams and accumulate regrets. (nor autumn falter)

2. It felt like she was holding all the components of a bomb in her hands, half assembled. If she moved the right way they would stay just that: components. But if she moved the wrong way… (til my judgment day)

3. He should have killed him. Should have been the one to strike that blow, in revenge for Jin Zixuan and their sister and everyone else dead for Wei Wuxian’s pride. Maybe then there would not be this gnawing, aching thing embedded in his chest; this itching, unfinished feeling. Maybe then he would not feel torn in two, sometimes like he should have reached out with his other hand and sometimes like he should have struck truer and sometimes both, in the same moment. (Interstitial)

4. He owed Wei Wuxian more than he could ever give back in this lifetime. Forgiving him felt like betraying his sister’s memory. Not forgiving him felt like trying to walk with a thorn in his foot. He was just - stuck, caught like a demon in a spiritual net.

Jiang Cheng thought of the way Wei Wuxian looked at Lan Wangji, with warmth and trust and love, and the aching, sick jealousy he had no right to feel returned. He felt a little like a child watching someone pick up a toy he’d abandoned and suddenly realizing that he wanted it back. (everyone else is spring bound)

5. You close your eyes and think about how he looked back in that town, Shuanghua slicing clean through a man’s neck, opening it to the spine, and think dizzily that he could open you like that and it’d be good, as long as it lasted. (tear out all your tenderness)

6. When Wangji loved, he loved with his whole being, without reserve. And now he had been placed between the rock of his convictions and the hard place of his devotion to Wei Wuxian. (the martyr, the victim)

7. He spent a week turning the idea over in his head. Studying it like a corpse he was going to dissect, poking at it, cutting it open and examining its insides. (dead reckoning)

8. When the world hurt you, that was the only thing to do, after all. Hurt it back, harder, worse. Spill rivers of blood for every drop it squeezed from you.

And when the end came, never go quietly. (the blood in your mouth)

9. I would stand with you through the end of the world, said Loki’s voice in his head, and Steve’s heart wasn’t in his chest anymore, was somewhere off on another planet where Loki was lying dead in a ruined city. (we live until we die)

10. Was it always going to be like this? Stumbling into traps, tripping over familiar skeletons, slicing himself open on the edges of old hurts. Was there really such a thing as leaving the past behind? He still felt stuck in it, unable to move, and every time he thought he might be finally dragging himself free something pulled him back. (With Absolute Splendor)

11. His chest was full of poison. His throat was full of grief. And he was still a little drunk.

Jiang Cheng went to his room, sat down on his bed, put his face in his hands, and cried until he couldn’t breathe. (By Proxy)

Top 5 Scenes from Anywhere You Would Choose to Have Illustrated:

I think the scene from nor autumn falter of Xiao Xingchen just crying his heart out over Xue Yang’s dead body would be up there.

The Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian hug from the end of With Absolute Splendor.

Okay, just gonna say it: Xue Yang and Jin Guangyao having sex by the table with Nie Mingjue’s headless corpse on it. So sue me.

The scene in the blood in your mouth where Song Lan has stabbed Xue Yang and Xiao Xingchen is following the line of Fuxue to the latter. I have a very clear visual of it in my head and if I could art I’d art it.

Xue Yang with the hallucinatory Xiao Xingchen from liberate spirits, liberate souls.

Fic-writing goals for 2021:

Finish Walking Far From Home.

Maybe I’ll finish some of these MCU WIPs? I’d kind of like to, on an abstract level if nothing else.

Become a more well-adjusted human being about the relationship between my productivity and my self-worth.

#fanfiction round up #confessions of a frustrated writer #you'll get my fun statistical analysis nonsense later

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