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mckinlily · 6 months

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Plot armor but it’s Bruce Wayne’s wealth.

Bruce is one of the richest men in the world. Bruce does not want to be one of the richest men in world.

He starts by implementing high starting salaries and full health care coverages for all levels at Wayne Enterprises. This in vastly improves retention and worker productivity, and WE profits soar. He increases PTO, grants generous parental and family leave, funds diversity initiatives, boosts salaries again. WE is ranked “#1 worker-friendly corporation”, and productively and profits soar again.

Ok, so clearly investing his workers isn’t the profit-destroying doomed strategy his peers claim it is. Bruce is going to keep doing it obviously (his next initiative is to ensure all part-time and contractors get the same benefits and pay as full time employees), but he is going to have to find a different way to dump his money.

But you know what else is supposed to be prohibitively expensive? Green and ethical initiatives. Yes, Bruce can do that. He creates and fund a 10 year plan to covert all Wayne facilities to renewable energy. He overhauls all factories to employ the best environmentally friendly practices and technologies. He cuts contracts with all suppliers that engage in unethical employment practices and pays for other to upgrade their equipment and facilities to meet WE’s new environmental and safety requirements. He spares no expense.

Yeah, Wayne Enterprises is so successful that they spin off an entire new business arm focused on helping other companies convert to environmentally friendly and safe practices like they did in an efficient, cost effective, successful way.

Admittedly, investing in his own company was probably never going to be the best way to get rid of his wealth. He slashes his own salary to a pittance (god knows he has more money than he could possibly know what to do with already) and keeps investing the profits back into the workers, and WE keeps responding with nearly terrifying success.

So WE is a no-go, and Bruce now has numerous angry billionaires on his back because they’ve been claiming all these measures he’s implementing are too expensive to justify for decades and they’re finding it a little hard to keep the wool over everyone’s eyes when Idiot Softheart Bruice Wayne has money spilling out his ears. BUT Bruce can invest in Gotham. That’ll go well, right?

Gotham’s infrastructure is the OSHA anti-Christ and even what little is up to code is constantly getting destroyed by Rogue attacks. Surely THAT will be a money sink.

Except the only non-corrupt employer in Gotham city is….Wayne Enterprises. Or contractors or companies or businesses that somehow, in some way or other, feed back to WE. Paying wholesale for improvement to Gotham’s infrastructure somehow increases WE’s profits.

Bruce funds a full system overhaul of Gotham hospital (it’s not his fault the best administrative system software is WE—he looked), he sets up foundations and trusts for shelters, free clinics, schools, meal plans, day care, literally anything he can think of.

Gotham continues to be a shithole. Bruce Wayne continues to be richer than god against his Batman-ingrained will.

Oh, and Bruice Wayne is no longer viewed as solely a spoiled idiot nepo baby. The public responds by investing in WE and anything else he owns, and stop doing this, please.

Bruce sets up a foundation to pay the college tuition of every Gotham citizen who applies. It’s so successful that within 10 years, donations from previous recipients more than cover incoming need, and Bruce can’t even donate to his own charity.

But by this time, Bruce has children. If he can’t get rid of his wealth, he can at least distribute it, right?

Except Dick Grayson absolutely refuses to receive any of his money, won’t touch his trust fund, and in fact has never been so successful and creative with his hacking skills as he is in dumping the money BACK on Bruce. Jason died and won’t legally resurrect to take his trust fund. Tim has his own inherited wealth, refuses to inherit more, and in fact happily joins forces with Dick to hack accounts and return whatever money he tries to give them. Cass has no concept of monetary wealth and gives him panicked, overwhelmed eyes whenever he so much as implies offering more than $100 at once. Damian is showing worrying signs of following in his precious Richard’s footsteps, and Babs barely allows him to fund tech for the Clocktower. At least Steph lets him pay for her tuition and uses his credit card to buy unholy amounts of Batburger. But that is hardly a drop in the ocean of Bruce’s wealth. And she won’t even accept a trust fund of only one million.

Jason wins for best-worst child though because he currently runs a very lucrative crime empire. And although he pours the vast, vast majority of his profits back into Crime Alley, whenever he gets a little too rich for his tastes, he dumps the money on Bruce. At this point, Bruce almost wishes he was being used for money laundering because then he’s at least not have the money.

So children—generous, kindhearted, stubborn till the day they die the little shits, children—are also out.

Bruce was funding the Justice League. But then finances were leaked, and the public had an outcry over one man holding so much sway over the world’s superheroes (nevermind Bruce is one of those superheroes—but the public can’t know that). So Bruce had to do some fancy PR trickery, concede to a policy of not receiving a majority of funds from one individual, and significantly decrease his contributions because no one could match his donations.

At his wits end, Bruce hires a team of accounts to search through every crinkle and crevice of tax law to find what loopholes or shortcuts can be avoided in order to pay his damn taxes to the MAX.

The results are horrifying. According to the strictest definition of the law, the government owes him money.

Bruce burns the report, buries any evidence as deeply as he can, and organizes a foundation to lobby for FAR higher taxation of the upper class.

All this, and Wayne Enterprises is happily chugging along, churning profit, expanding into new markets, growing in the stock market, and trying to force the credit and proportionate compensation on their increasingly horrified CEO.

Bruce Wayne is one of the richest men in the world. Bruce Wayne will never not be one of the richest men in the world.

But by GOD is he trying.

#batman #bruce wayne #laws of this dc universe say Gotham is always a hellcity #and bruce wayne is always filthy rich #bruce wayne is fighting with everything he has against both those facts #he’s not going to win #but he’s not going to stop either #bruce crying with fistfuls of money in his hands: take it. PLEASE #the public: donate more???

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roninkairi · 11 months

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You can only reblog this today.*

*PLEASE READ THE TAGS

#adventure time #finn the human #if you are reading this #please be aware this is a joke #this was a random thing tound on Facebook #and no finn really didn't say that #so go ahead and reblog it #just don't take it seriously #some of the people who reblogged this overreacted #so I feel compelled to add these tags to call them out on it #like seriously #chill out dudes #maybe eat a taco or two #tacos are life #so are burritos #ok this is running its course #david zaslav can suck it #i just felt like adding that because he is a douche

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lilislegacy · 2 months

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Percy at ease

Percy calm, but a little on edge

Percy when mildly angry

Friendly reminder that Percy jackson - our beloved silly adorable seaweed brain - is absolutely terrifying. When he’s angry, when he’s scared, when he’s on edge - he’s not warm and fuzzy.

No other character gets that reaction from people. Jason (the sweetie) is perceived as calm and in control, nico (our favorite self-outcasted outcast) is perceived as solemn and creepy, reyna (girlboss queen slay) is perceived as confident and assertive, and annabeth (our girl) is perceived as fierce, clever, and formidable. They are all intimidating to an extent.

But not like Percy. No. Becasue even when he’s at ease, he’s described as wild and disobedient. And when he’s not at ease, even if just little bit, he’s perceived as powerful, dangerous, and scary. Someone who NOBODY wants to mess with. Nobody even questions his power. One look from him has literal gangs running the other way. One look from him has Leo so scared that he’s literally shaking, and feeling the same innate fright and alarm that he does when jason summons an ear-piercing, earth-shaking, deadly bolt of lighting.

like… HELLO??? can we all just sit on that for a moment?? good lord

One angry look from percy has people thinking one thing: Run.

Percy is, canonically, the character that people find the most frightening and intimidating.

And unless he’s in a good mood - which you better hope he is - the reality is that most of us would be completely terrified of him if we met him.

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perpetualcontrolleddrowning · 9 months

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Something something the way that Crowley introduced himself to Aziraphale the first time they met in the garden and reacted as if they had never met before. Something about him later behaving as if he did actually have those memories of their time in Heaven together and trying to pass it off as being someone different now. Something about Heaven's way of punishing angels that go against the plan by erasing their memories. Something about Crowley seeing Gabriel without his memory and saying "ask him properly." Something about "remember it now" "it hurts, to remember. my head isn't built for that" "I know. Do it anyway"

Something about "I know. Looking at where the furniture isn't"

Something about I know

#gomens #good omens #good omens 2 #good omens s2 #good omens spoilers #fan theory #all i'm saying #is that crowley seemed REALLY familiar with the process of losing and regaining memory when it's been taken #and i think it would be fun to make it even more angsty #if crowley pushed himself again and again until he was able to remember aziraphale #and now he remembers heaven and all that it was #and he wants nothing to do with it #and Aziraphale is going back

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thevastnessof · 1 year

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obsessed with villains who you just KNOW are aware deep down in their heart that they've done something unforgivable, but the only way to never admit that or face the guilt is to keep doing it over and over again until they don't feel guilty about that first time anymore

#sky speaks #i am contemplating walter white and phillip wittebane #if i never admit it even to myself #then i can go on living like this forever #phillip says as he kills his brother again #as walter white orders the death of another person 'for his family'#and sure they do LIKE the power #but i just knowww it burns sometimes

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allthewhumpygoodness · 4 months

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Big fan of when a character's grief/trauma/guilt manifests as physical symptoms. Big fan of characters keeping things so tight inside them that it makes them sick. Big fan of when the line blurs between a character's mental trauma and physical illness until it's hard to tell which is which anymore.

#whump #k once i did a fic where a character had pneumonia #and also was in Big Mental Distress and mentally going over all the people he'd lost in his life etc #and i gotta say i'm proud of myself for bringing up the recurrent motif of his chest being pianful...like is it from being sick & coughing #or bc he's grieving so badly it's putting him in physical pain #ANYWAY

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seagiri · 9 days

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very sleep deprived doodles of whatever’s going on inside my brain

#my art #senshi #Chilchuck tims #Chilchucks wife #<- we call her whitbelle #whitbelle #chilshi #chilchuck sandwich #dungeon meshi #barely visible text says the following #(pointing at Senshi) ready to ruin things for himself because he wants to help his friend #(pointing at Chil) mcdumbass developed a crush on Senshi and is now afraid of letting him go despite wanting to reconcile with whitbelle #***the name whitbelle came from the fic Reelin’ In The Years by werewolf_gimmick on ao3 !!!

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nnobodoodles · 12 days

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Huh.

So I randomly remembered Croc is pretty much Italian.

#if Buggy had wheels he'd go Chop-Chop Car #this might be the stupidest thing I put effort in #Anyway I love them #One Piece #Cross Guild #Dracule Mihawk #Sir Crocodile #Crocodile One Piece #Buggy the Clown #OP Spoilers #One Piece Spoilers #just to be safe #in greek we say the same thing but use “scooter” instead #which is arguably dumber #Mihawk doesn't think highly of Buggy he's just guessing the wasted potential #nnobodiusart

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bishy437 · 3 months

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he won

bonus:

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kezhke88 · 7 months

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How much do we love Crowley standing behind Aziraphale when he's chatting to people like he's some sort of unofficial bodyguard

#good omens #david tennant #ineffable husbands #michael sheen #neil gaiman #he's just standing there like try and mess with my husband #if you say no to his polite request i'm going to throw hands #don't even try to say no #anthony j crowley #aziracrow #aziraphale

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triona-tribblescore · 22 days

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Nightly mandatory fluffy Huskerdust doodle 😤🧡

Kneading and a massage~

#nothing rly extra to say!#OH ACTUALLY #this was lowkey inspired by the HC of husk having chronic backpains cause of his wings #lowkey makes sense cause his posture is so bad lol #that or he's just a cat with shrimp disease-#anyway!! im going to sleep #MWAH HUGS FOR YOU THOUGH <33 #huskerdust #angel dust #husk #angel dust fanart #husk fanart #huskerdust fanart #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel fanart #tribbleart #<3

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shigayokagayama · 1 year

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mob psycho is the greatest show ever made because reigen being cancelled on twitter is one of the most important moments for his character as well as one of the most emotionally heavy episodes of the show but him being trapped in alone in a purgatory dimension slowly starving to death is treated as a gag and never mentioned again

#I KNOW ITS BECAUSE ITS AN OVA BUT ITS STILL FUNNY #like him being made into a meme and getting doxxed on 4chan drastically changes his behavior going forward #but nearly dying because he was lying to one of his employees about having things under control has no impact on him #he even lies AGAIN and says he'll be fine in the confession arc to the SAME PERSON #like the confession arc was probably written before the ova was even dreamed of but. parallels.#mp100 #mob psycho 100 #reigen arataka

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somewhereincairparavel · 13 days

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To the people saying "Jason wouldn't have jumped into tartarus for Piper, like Percy did for Annabeth" as a way to demean him. Jason, plunged into the sky from the grand canyon to catch Piper in the first few pages of the lost hero without even knowing who she was, and without the knowledge that he could fly. so he basically jumped to his death attempting to catch her. In the first few pages of his journey, he didn't mind dying to save Piper, and ironically, that's also what he did in the last few pages of his journey. Y'all just be making the most out of pocket claims abt jason fr