#he really tried to use exact words smh

[crazysnakey]

#important #free palestine #palestine #gaza #free gaza #he really tried to use exact words smh #egypt #Instagram

[chihomichannel]

i wish you all the happiness in the world

| pairing: oikawa tooru x short female! reader | summary: In which you loved each other for all this time but timing was never on your side | genre: angst, fluff, suggestive, kinda smut but not really | warnings: MANGA SPOILERS, cursing, alcohol, NOT EDITED ‘cause i’m tired | word count: 6964 words | a/n: hi hi! this is my first haikyuu ff. hope you like it! ヾ(＠^∇^＠)ノ i have to say though, i’m not really satisfied with this smh. it’s more like a summary of an entire fanfic i’ve thought for oikawa siiigh. this also was kinda rushed by the end ‘cause i wanna post it already jhbksdjna

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You treasure your time back in childhood. Whenever you think back to those days, you would be reminded of the times you spent with Oikawa and Iwaizumi by your side. Still young and ignorant to the world other than your own little bubble, you played around and made memories that even years later, you could still remember what you felt back then. What it felt like to pull on your sister’s hair and the terror that went with it, what it felt like to accidentally injure yourself after you tried copying that one commercial you saw on TV, what it felt like to trip over your own feet as you dived head first to receive a ball for the first time - and with all those times of stupidity and utter fun, Oikawa and Iwaizumi was always there. You don’t even remember the first time you met them. All you knew was that they were already a part of your life for as long as you could remember.

You and Oikawa are next-door neighbors and Iwaizumi lives just right around the corner by the end of the street. For everyday that passed by, you three were always joined at the hips. You can’t even remember a time in your childhood that you weren’t with either of the two. Or maybe it was because it was so long ago that you don’t remember everything now that you’re a bit older.

But a distinct memory of Oikawa forcing both you and Iwaizumi’s pinkies to his as he shouted in promise “Someday, we’ll make it all to nationals!” Nationals. What a fancy word for such young dreamers.

But hence, when you reached the age of kindergarten, your parents made it a mission and a promise to always, always enroll the three of you in the same school. They thought your friendship was cute and special. Even everyone in the neighborhood found your little group endearing. They could never imagine one without the other two or either of the bunch. You would always be three and that would never change. At least that was the ideal reality that everyone imagined for you three.

Though that ideal friendship remained true for years and years. But in your final year of middle school, that was when everything shifted its course.

It was when Oikawa and you were alone in between the two gyms that separated the boy’s volleyball team and the girl’s volleyball team. You were a setter, a genius setter. And during that time, you didn’t know the animosity Oikawa held towards genius volleyball players. So when he told you “You’re a really great setter” And with the small smile accompanied by those fluttering words, a great wave of pride swelled in your chest to hear such a comment from such a great setter, a tinge of pink painted across your cheeks.

You let out a small shy “Thank you” Your eyes stuck on the ground with your hair hiding your reddening cheeks. You didn’t notice the slight quirk in the corners of his smile. Too busy with your head in the clouds, you failed to notice the envy that flashed through his dark chocolate-brown eyes.

While you were busy pining over your new realized feelings, Oikawa was also busy over his conflicting feelings for you. You were his friend, his best friend along with Iwaizumi. So why does he harbor so much jealousy towards you? It was him who got you into volleyball in the first place. It was him who dragged you out of bed every morning for as long as he could remember just to play volleyball. But seeing you do so much better than him, even when he would never face you on the court, he couldn’t help but feel insecure in your presence.

He thinks he could do more, be better and surpass every living genius in the world of volleyball. He wants to be the best. He needs to be much much better. And with the green-eyed monster controlling his need to be the best, without knowing it, he held a resentment against you.

And you, none the wiser of your friend’s bitterness towards you, you found more reasons to be around Oikawa more. More than you already do. Which to be honest did not help calm the growing storm Oikawa harbors in his heart. You always just seem to be everywhere and seeing you always reminds him of what he’s lacking. Feelings of guilt, envy and your sudden overwhelming presence is what drove him to finally snap. To finally pull the trigger and kill whatever’s left of his fondness towards you.

Iwaizumi had told you that Oikawa has been pushing himself much more than normal. Oikawa has been losing his cool and Iwaizumi has explained the pressure, the constant need to be better and the inferiority Oikawa feels towards players like Kageyama and Ushijima. But neither you nor Iwaizumi knew you were one of those Oikawa felt inferior to.

So one late afternoon, the sun has set and the sky is minutes away from dark. Hours after classes were dismissed and the rest of the players had been sent home, you entered the boy’s volleyball gym alongside Iwaizumi to see that Oikawa is still hell-bent on practicing.

You frowned. You could see how exhausted he was but still, he stood on his two feet, determined. Before you could even call out his name, Kageyama caught your attention as he made his way to his senior “Oikawa-san, please teach me how to serve”

As if something inside him snapped in half, Oikawa’s hand flew towards Kageyama only for Iwaizumi to catch his arm in time “Get a grip you moron!” Stunned silence echoed through the gym, only heavy breaths and wide eyes spoke volumes of what just happened. “I’m sorry” Oikawa relaxed and Iwaizumi let him go. But his eyes, he was just as shocked with his actions as much as everyone was.

“Kageyma, I’m sorry but we’re done for the day” Iwaizumi’s spoke and with that, Kageyama walked away, eyeing Oikawa warily as he passed him by.

“Tooru?” Your voice caught his attention. You being there sent him in overload and before he could stop himself, before Iwaizumi had the chance to stop the words that flew out of Oikawa’s mouth, he snapped once again. But this time, there was no stopping it.

“You!” He bellowed, you flinched “I hate you! I hate you and your presence and everything that is you!”

“Huh?” “Wha-? OI!”

“-Why are you always everywhere? Why do you have to be a part of my life? You’re always in my eyes! You’re always there and I am sick of it!” Oikawa huffed, tears brimming on his eyes. You’re already crying.

“You like me don’t you?” 

He knows

“-Well I don’t like it! Stay away from me will you! You overwhelm me!”

He knows

You clenched your hand, shaking.

“-WHY DID YOU HAVE TO BE A SETTER?!” With a frustrated cry, Oikawa dropped to his knees and suddenly, you realize.

‘He hates me’ You thought. You didn’t even dwell as to why when you ran out the gym. You heard Iwaizumi call out your name but you ignored him and ran. You ran and ran until your lungs forced you to stop, tumbling down to your knees as you sobbed in the empty road under the street light.

You can’t understand for the life of you. Had you been mean to him? Have you done something wrong? Or is it because he knows you like him and he doesn’t feel that way towards you. Maybe you made him uncomfortable. His mother doesn’t really help as she always gushes about how you should be her future daughter-in-law. You had overwhelmed him and now he hates you.

It was only the night before Monday did you remember what he last told you.

“WHY DID YOU HAVE TO BE A SETTER?”

‘Ah’ you thought as you realized the roots of his new found resentment towards you.

Oikawa has always been ambitious and successful at whatever he sets his mind into. But he was no genius and his skills were practiced, it did not come naturally. You remembered those times he ranted about Ushijima and how unbelievably strong he is. And Kageyama and how he’s younger yet so much better than he is. And then there’s you.

He had never complained about you. Or at least none that you knew about. You should have realized when people started calling you a genius. You should have noticed the change of his demeanor towards you. How he doesn’t smile genuinely anymore. How you weren’t actually friends anymore. 

You didn’t love volleyball and maybe that’s one of the reasons why he hates you. Or maybe that’s the exact reason why. You don’t even love it yet you’re so good at it. No wonder he was frustrated about you. He’s not just envious about your skills, he’s also frustrated to see you obtain something he wants when you’re only half-hearted into the game. It was a reminder that no matter how hard he pushed himself, there would always be some genius that would trample over his hardened efforts.

You couldn’t believe how fast you could go from liking someone to hating them the next.

You avoided him after that incident. You avoided him like the plague. You still talk to Iwaizumi though but not as much as before. You distanced yourself from them and before you knew it, you had graduated.

Over the summer, that was when people noticed the shift in the dynamic of your friendship. The three became two and you’re now only one. You don’t leave your house, not even when Iwaizumi called out your name for an hour because you knew Oikawa would be there.

Oikawa did not make any effort to reconcile with you and it annoyed you to no end. It was always Iwaizumi acting as the mediator but eventually, even he gave up. It was tiring to force two people to reconcile when neither party wanted anything to do with the other.

It doesn’t mean Oikawa didn’t feel guilty. His guilt was one of the reasons why he exploded and it was also guilt that made him ashamed of facing you. You were a precious friend, a childhood friend, a person who’s known him for so long. A person who knows him better than his family and yet he pushed you away. 

And now you won’t come back.

At the opening ceremony in high school, he waited for you. He thought that he would make peace with you. Apologize once and for all. You were already in high school for god’s sake. You had let the whole summer wash away the broken pieces of your friendship with no way of reconciliation. You had wasted a whole summer and Oikawa’s determined to bring everything back to where it was. Even if it meant to pick up all the pieces of the broken fragments of your strained friendship. He would do so. Because you’re precious to him, more than you nor he could understand.

But you never came. And at once, all that courage and determination in him was also washed away.

You went to Karasuno for high school and swore your soul to the gods that exist that you would never ever step foot into a volleyball court ever again. You had decided to quit on volleyball. Sure, you were a genius at it but you didn’t love it. At least not as much as some people you know. But that promise was also thrown away when Sugawara, a classmate, begged you to be their manager.

He was resolute and you were annoyed. And so you rejected his offer. Though that did not stop him from pestering you, begging you down to his knees which is why you found yourself watching a practice match held in the school’s volleyball gym.

‘They’re weak’ You thought. You didn’t really care as you watched the team pathetically lost. You could not stress enough the difference in power between your school and the away team. It was truly and utterly pitiable.

You had heard about the tale of the once powerhouse that is Karasuno and you wondered what happened. You learned that your school had once managed to make it to the nationals so why is the team so weak now? No coach, no manager, just players.

You were already leaving, indifferent to your school’s volleyball team when your ears perked up on an insult, an insult that sent you to overdrive and before you knew it, you were screaming. You screamed at your school’s team. You screamed a vow, a vow to get them to nationals once again. And so beyond your belief, you were on the court once again. Though this time, you were only at the side.

It was in the Interhigh Tournament did you and Oikawa look at each other once again. His eyes were wide while yours was determined, glaring at him as if challenging him. He knew of your abilities and how well you could use that to coach others. He knew you could use that to examine opponents and use that knowledge against them. You were a genius that way. And so seeing you in the opponent’s team as their manager made him nervous. Just because you were a manager doesn’t mean you wouldn’t be able to help the team technically.

But how can you help a team that doesn’t want your help in the first place? It was only you and your other fellow first years that were bitter when you lost in the first round. Your seniors seemed to accept that your team just wasn’t good enough. And the frustration sent you to silent tears as you questioned your decision of being involved in volleyball again.

And Oikawa, being the ever jackass that he is, used the opportunity to tease you. An excuse to talk to you. And imagine the delight he felt when you gave him the attention. And so started the rivalry you never imagined you would have with him.

You thought that maybe if he hadn’t chosen to tease you that day, you would’ve quit the volleyball club. And maybe if he hadn’t teased you that day, you would have probably never talked again.

Three years passed and it was your last year at high school. With the addition of promising first years, you faced off against Aoba Johsai in the Spring Interhigh Qualifiers. Karasuno won and would face off Shiratorizawa for the finals. You should be glad, ecstatic even. So why are you sad? Why are you mourning for your childhood friends’ loss? Why won’t you look away from the opponent and celebrate with your team?

But how could you when you could see the two special people in your life fight off the tears that threatened to stream down their eyes. And the night after Karasuno beat Shiratorizawa, you thought ‘Nationals’ 

You were the only one who made it to Nationals. And you weren’t even a player.

The thought of that stupid childhood promise left a bitter taste on your mouth.

๋࣭     ࣪ ˖        ⋆ ࣪.     ˖ ࣪⭑      ˖ ࣪ ٬     ุ๋ ⸱ ๋࣭     ࣪ ˖        ⋆ ࣪.     ˖ ࣪⭑      ˖ ࣪  ๋࣭

The high of the nationals died down once it was over and you and your fellow third years now focus on studying for the finals and upcoming university entrance exams. It was dismissal time and having no volleyball club activities any more, you head straight home, parting ways with Sugawara at the intersection.

You sighed. The sky is orange with hues of pink, purple and blue painting the sky gradient. You had arrived by your house’s gate when you heard the ruckus of voices. Male voices. So you turn and lo and behold, it was Oikawa, Iwaizumi and number 2 and 3 from what you could remember.

They turn to look at you and their ruckus dies down. You turned your back at them, already opening the gate when Iwaizumi called out your name. You turn your focus back at them “Would you mind tutoring us?”

“Please, she’s bad at math” Oikawa commented. You felt a nerve pop out of your neck “You bitch, you suck at everything but volleyball!”

“Excuse me, I’m in class 6-” “Doesn’t matter”

Iwaizumi could only sigh as Matsukawa and Hanamaki watched in amusement. ‘So you’re the famous childhood friend’ they thought.

You and Oikawa stared down at each other, neither backing down. For added effect, you crossed your arms which earned a snort from the setter “Please?” Iwaizumi pleaded. With a sigh, you looked at your friend “Fine. I’ll just tell mom first”

Why did you accept? You didn’t know. But you knew you didn’t mind being around Oikawa now. Though you don’t really trust him, not anymore.

Your mom was surprised to hear you would be going to Oikawa’s house. It’s been years and she could not hide the glee on her face as she practically pushed you out of the house. With a deep breath, you made your way to his house.

The door opened to his mother who, like your mom, albeit a bit more enthusiastic, was ecstatic beyond relief at the sight of you. She asked you continuously without giving you any chance to reply “Did you finally make up? Are you friends again? You’re talking again? How splendid! Why did you stop talking in the first place? I was so sad. I missed you so dearly. It wasn't the same without you”

She kept on beaming and you only replied in awkward chuckles, not wanting to kill her joy and tell her you still very much held a grudge against her son. But fortunately, she left you to the company of the four boys who sprawled all around the couch, bags thrown at the side with the television on in a music channel. A girl group is performing.

“Aren’t you guys supposed to be studying?”

“Shh, Miho-chan is singing” Oikawa held a finger on his lips. You could only grimace at their focus on the girl group. Maybe you should go now.

But before you could even turn around, Iwaizumi had turned off the TV much to the boys’ protests “Fanboy later you horny scumbags”

“You know I’m here, right?” You say and Iwaizumi sent you an apologetic smile.

“You don’t count as a girl anyway so it doesn’t really matter” You felt your heart drop at Oikawa’s comment. You frowned, dropping your books down on the coffee table with a slam. The three boys jumped, startled. They were sitting down on the floor when you did that.

With a huff, you sat down at the end of the table while Matsukawa and Hanamaki sat beside each other and across from them sat Oikawa and Iwaizumi “So-” You cleared your throat as they looked at you in synchrony “-what is it you need help in?”

๋࣭     ࣪ ˖        ⋆ ࣪.     ˖ ࣪⭑      ˖ ࣪ ٬     ุ๋ ⸱ ๋࣭     ࣪ ˖        ⋆ ࣪.     ˖ ࣪⭑      ˖ ࣪  ๋࣭

You looked up to the digital clock hanging on the wall. 8:47 pm, it read “Aren’t you guys gonna go home?”

Oikawa is fast asleep on the coffee table, head resting in his arms. Matsukawa has given up on his practice test and Hanamaki sat spaced out. It was only Iwaizumi whose focus is still on his notes. Even you gave up 15 minutes ago, feeling your head ache as the words start swirling incoherently in your mind.

You received a hum of reply, everyone focused on their own little worlds. You sighed, closing your book and tucking in the notes in your bag in a hurry. You stood up, groaning at the ache that has built up on your legs from hours of sitting. The others noticed this and copied your actions, slowly standing up and slinging their bags on their shoulders “You all should rest for the day. Just continue tomorrow”

Iwaizumi did not budge from his position and you walked out of the living room to the front door, Matsukawa and Hanamaki hot on your heels. Once you were outside, you were about to bid them goodbye when Hanamaki beat you to it “Hey, I’ve been thinking. Why didn’t you go to Seijoh?”

Matsukawa hit Hanamaki in the back of his head, earning a hiss from the latter “Sorry, you don’t have to answer that”

“Why? Did they talk about me?” Your smile was sad it could come off as a frown. The two boys looked at you sheepishly and you chuckled, turning away from them as you unlocked your gate “We’ve heard the three of you were close and that something happened. They didn’t really elaborate. You’re a really touchy subject” This made you laugh

“Damn” You turned back around to face them to see that they’re still on the same spot, waiting for your response. But you only gave them half a smile, bid goodbye and entered your house.

The next day, you slept through your alarm. Only waking up when your mother woke you up with a screech. And so you skipped on breakfast, snatching a biscuit from the top of the refrigerator and dashed out of your house. Only to be met with Oikawa getting on his bike, obviously late like you are.

“Shouldn’t you be at morning practice?” “Shouldn’t you know that 3rd years don’t go to practice anymore?” You rolled your eyes.

“Geez, how could I know? I don’t go to your school, dumbass” Oikawa pedaled to match your pace “You sound like Iwa-chan, chibi-chan~”

You held your tongue, though your frown failed to conceal your annoyance. Oikawa gazed at you, pursing his lips as you refused to look at his way “Hop on, chibi-chan. No matter how fast you go, you’ll still be late with those tiny legs of yours”

“Can you shut up?!” “What? Is that your best retort? How lame~” You kicked the wheel of his bike sending him trembling out of balance “Hey!”

You huffed. You did not sign up for so much annoyance so early in the morning. You groaned, head looking up at the sky in exasperation when Oikawa blocked your way “Please, please get hit by a truck” Oikawa looked offended

“Ouch, chibi-chan. Just hop on already, you know I’m right” He gave you a grin which only aggravated you more “No”

“Don’t be so stubborn, little girl” “I am not little” “Your height says otherwise” “I’ll kill you!”

Both of you were locked out of the gate that day.

Your review with the four boys continued everyday after school. As well as your morning walk to the school being bombarded by Oikawa. When he learned what time you go to school, Oikawa made it his mission to walk with you. Always biking at your pace as he ranted on and on much to your dismay. You had begged Iwaizumi to go to school with the two of you since Oikawa doesn’t give any signs of giving up on you. But Iwaizumi only gave you a grunt for a response, mumbling about respecting his sleep.

And came one Friday morning, 2 weeks left of school and 3 days before university entrance examinations. Oikawa is waiting by your gate as always and hopped on at the sight of you “Morning, chi-bi-chan~”

Closing your gate, he waits for you to walk but was pleasantly surprised when you sat on the back of his bike “Huh?”

“Bike” You said and so he did. He began telling a story about Iwaizumi tripping in front of his crush, elaborating on what happened that day. And you, you were uncharacteristically quiet. 

Usually, you’ll banter with him. And so when you called out his name, Oikawa could feel that you were about to say something heavy. So he continued rambling, zoning out your voice and filling the air with his words.

“Tooru” He paused, his heart thundering against his chest. It has been years since he last heard you call him by his name “Yeah?”

“Why are you acting like we’re friends” Oikawa let out a strained smile but you didn’t see

“Damn, that hurts y/n-chan” He said in jest but you could hear the genuine hurt in his voice. Oikawa felt your hand tighten as you clutch on the back of his jacket.

“Tooru-” You leaned your head against his back ‘-it’s weird how this makes me feel happy but hurt’ You thought

“Tooru-” ‘-I’m glad we’re talking again’

Oikawa could feel his heart go erratic, longing for whatever that is on your mind. Voice it out, he thought. Voice it out. But you don’t

“Tooru-” ‘-how come I still like you?’

That night, everyone is staying over at Oikawa’s house except for you. It would be weird considering you’re the only girl and your parents didn’t let you. But here you were, shivering in the cold as you knocked on the window outside Oikawa’s room. He was there because it was him who called you out at 2 in the morning, begging you to come. You shouldn’t have come but you couldn’t really resist him. Not even after all these years. Not even after convincing yourself to move on from him.

You’re whipped and you’re annoyed by it.

‘He’s a jackass’ You think as he holds your hand to support you down ‘He shouted at you. Never apologized, rejected you before you even had a chance to confess. He’s an annoying son of a bitch’

Your heart flutters when you stumble against his chest, Oikawa holding you by the shoulders to steady you “You’re cold” He says, his breath raining down on your hair. His breath was hot and your cheeks turned warm.

You fought the urge to look up at him but when he wrapped a blanket around you, your eyes unconsciously made its way to his face to see he was glowing red despite the darkness of his room.

“The others are in the living room” He says, pulling you down with him on his bed. Shuffling of sheets echoed around the room as Oikawa dived under the blanket. He had his arm under you while his other pulled you to his chest. He kept his arms around you, his chin on your head as you flushed yourself to his chest.

You could feel his heart, beating its way out of his chest. His heart slowly lulling you to sleep. He called out your name. You reluctantly pulled your head away from his chest and looked up at him “Hm?”

Oikawa bite his tongue, mulling over the words in his head. Should he tell you right now? What would your reaction be? He doesn’t want to hurt you again. He doesn’t want to repeat the same mistakes. He doesn’t want this moment to stop. For the world to pause and let him hold you close to him.

He thinks it over - deciding he should tell you soon. But not know. Not when your cheeks are red, your half-lidded eyes glossy as you gazed at him longingly. Oikawa leans in, planting a soft kiss to your forehead that tells you exactly what he feels. You could feel yourself shrink under the affection.

You didn’t notice that you fell asleep. Did not know that his eyes scanned every nook and crevices of your face. How beautiful you looked to him. How you would always be the prettiest in his eyes. How he looked at you so utterly and deeply in love it hurts to know that the time is ticking.

Oikawa brushes the strand of hair on your face, pushing it behind your ears in an agonizingly slow pace. He takes his time feeling your skin, placing his lips on your forehead and falls asleep with your warmth wrapped against his.

After that night, you and Oikawa grew more affectionate with each other. Sure, you still banter. That would never change. But there was a shift in the air and you knew there was something in there. But neither of you admitted anything. Still friends but much more than just that. Nothing was official and no one acknowledged the elephant in the room.

And you were glad it was never official. Because after graduation, Oikawa’s mom threw a party for him. A graduation party. A farewell party.

It seems like night brings out the intimacy that the morning shies away. Oikawa had led you to the playground behind your house. You remembered playing here with Oikawa and Iwaizumi, practicing volleyball as always.

You climbed up the slide and sat down at the top, letting your feet dangle on the edge. Oikawa sat beside you, his long legs dangling down beside yours. You studied the difference and smiled to yourself.

“I’m going to Argentina” He says, refusing to look at you. His hands are pulled into a fist, trembling. You placed your hand on top of his, his shaking stops as he finally looks your way “That’s great” You said, and you mean it.

He smiles at you but it doesn’t reach his eyes. So you held his cheeks, head tilting to the side “It has always been your dream, Tooru. I can’t believe it’s finally happening”

“It’ll be hard” You snort “Of course. It’s Argentina dude. Japan is still miles away from their skills” Your eyes glint at that, giving Oikawa a determined smile “But we’ll beat you, just you wait”

“I’ll win first” And he means it. You laugh, hand dropping from his cheeks “I’ll look forward to it”

Oikawa gazes at you with so much adoration in his eyes. You were the only person who didn’t tell him his plans were stupid. And he loves you for that.

“I love you” he was the first to crack. Your cheeks turn red, expression shy at his intense gaze “I-I love you too” You stutter, a bit overwhelmed.

Oikawa chuckles “You’re cute” His words don't really help to die down the red in your cheeks. In fact, it only worsens it “Shut up” You grumble indignantly and he laughs.

“Hey, will you be my girlfriend?” At this, you looked at him with a sad smile.

“We can’t” Oikawa knew your answer before he even asked. But he didn’t expect the pain would hurt that much.

“Can’t we try?” His voice is painful and it broke your heart to see him so broken “Tooru” He looks at you pleadingly and he speaks

“I think I've been in love with you all this time. But to be honest-” He bitterly chuckles “-I was envious of you more than I liked you"

"And that's why it's a no" you smiled sadly.

"You love volleyball, Tooru. More than anything else. More than you. More than me" The atmosphere was somber. Until a thought passed by your mind and you tittered.

"More than milk bread" The both of you giggled.

"Yeah...more than milk bread"

Neither of you moved. Not even when the sun rose from its sleep and in a few hours, he'll leave.

He'll leave.

And you have to let him go. Even though he's right there beside you. So close yet so far away. He's there and he loves you. But for his dreams. For him.

You let him go.

And then he's gone. On the other side of the world, thousands and millions of miles away from you. And you regret the three years that could've been so much more if the two of you hadn't been so stupid and so prideful.

And just like that, years and years passed. Both Oikawa and Iwaizumi left abroad and only you stayed. Though you did move to Tokyo and worked at a hospital for a few months until the opportunity to work as an assistant manager and physical therapist for MSBY Black Jackals came up. You could only thank the stars for connections. In this field, you only get a chance if someone in it knows you. And luckily for you, you know a ton of them from your years as a manager back in high school. 

It’s 2021 and 8 years have passed and you remained in contact with Oikawa. Though you don’t talk as much as you two now have your own separate lives. He has volleyball and you have your athletes. And of course, during the course of those 8 years, the both of you had dated several people. Some long term, some not so long. And inside those 8 years, you’ve finally convinced yourself you’ve moved on from Oikawa Tooru.

The olympics is this year and along with Iwaizumi, you were pulled in to be a manager and their physical therapist. You had made quite the reputation in the industry. What with your genius mind for volleyball, opponent teams that know you fear your analytical skills and your ability to use that knowledge for the benefit of your team. Really, all professional volleyball teams want you. It just so happens that it was MSBY Black Jackals that called you first.

Oikawa doesn’t know that you and Iwaizumi are part of the Japan team. And so when his team emerged, ready to face old rivals, Oikawa swore his eyes jumped at the sight of you and Iwaizumi.

Your heart swelled with pride, lips outstretched to a big smile. You’re proud of him, so so much.

You could only yelp when Oikawa sprinted towards you and pulled you and Iwaizumi in a tight hug. It’s been such a long time since you saw each other. And a thought passed by your head.

The three of you didn’t make it all in the nationals, but you sure did all go to the olympics.

When Japan lost and Argentina won, you didn’t find it in yourself to be sad. Instead, you were happy. Ecstatic. Euphoric. You’re so proud of everyone, of your teammates and rivals. To have made it this far, they were truly beyond just amazing.

๋࣭     ࣪ ˖        ⋆ ࣪.     ˖ ࣪⭑      ˖ ࣪ ٬     ุ๋ ⸱ ๋࣭     ࣪ ˖        ⋆ ࣪.     ˖ ࣪⭑      ˖ ࣪  ๋࣭

“You could stay with me” Oikawa says nonchalantly as he takes your bag from your hand, the hubbub of the crowd ringing in your ears as you exit the airport “My car’s right here” He tells you as you near a red sports sedan. Unlocking the car, he placed your bag at the backseat as you sat at the passenger's seat.

You’re in Argentina for the weekend for a seminar for sports physical therapists. Just two days, sure nothing could happen for such a short time.

“Nah, just drive me to a hotel” Oikawa gazed at you mischievously

“What? Afraid I’ll do something?” You threw a box of tissue at him “Shut up bitch” He laughed, taking a seat before starting the car “So you are” 

“Please” You scoff.

You ended up staying at his guest room.

His house is in an apartment - a kitchen, a couch, a TV, a fucking gym, and pictures on the wall. His apartment is surprisingly cozy, you noted. 

You dropped your phone on the bed, collapsing in fatigue. Your eyes were about to flutter shut when Oikawa’s voice boomed in the room “You should shower. Ya stinky from the flight” You rolled your eyes.

You reluctantly pushed yourself out of bed, passing by him and snatching the towel from his hands. You noticed he already changed into a shirt and shorts. You could see the outline of his muscles, lining down his chest. His thighs in view, you tried hard not to stare.

But of course, Oikawa being the ever asshole that he is, comments “Take a picture! It’ll last!”

Once shower was over, you fell down beside him on the couch, the television on in the sports channel. It’s Schweiden Adlers against Azuma Pharmacy Green Rockets. You smiled thoughtfully at the sight of Ushijima and Goshiki on TV.

“What time tomorrow is your seminar again?” Oikawa asks, passing you the milk break from the coffee table. You took it “8 in the morning until 5” He hums, bread down his throat.

“Wanna go out after? My practice ends at the same time” You yawn “Sure”

True to his words, he picked you up from the university 30 minutes after five. Oikawa took you everywhere, to the beach, to a restaurant, to a park, even to a club. Which is probably why he’s dragging your drunk ass to his apartment at 1 am.

You slipped from his arms and landed on the floor with a thud “Shit” You heard him curse under his breath as he hurriedly closed the door behind him. You felt arms curl around yours causing you to giggle “That tingles”

“How can you get drunk from 2 glasses of vodka?” He mused but you only giggled at him. Oikawa glanced at the clock, 1:42 am. Sighing, Oikawa put a hand under your knees and back, carrying you bridal style to your room.

“Tooru” You exhaled, your hot breath sticking to his face as he laid you down gently on the bed. Gulping, Oikawa turned away, grabbing the blanket to put it over you. He felt your hand enclose his cheek, forcing his gaze to you.

Your cheeks are red, illuminated by the moon that is the only light source in the room. Your hair is a mess and your breath stinks of vodka. Your eyes are closing, hands collapsing on your side as you exhale, dropping your head on the pillow. Oikawa notes the way your eyelashes squint and the mole in your left eyelid. And suddenly, Oikawa felt like he was eighteen again.

You could feel his breath, hear his heavy breathing and you flutter your eyes open. You shrink under his gaze, lips parting unconsciously and Oikawa fought with all his might not to kiss you right there and then. His eyes are half-lidded, filled with desire, longing, and love.

Love. Suddenly, you’re not so drunk anymore.

“Tooru” You breathed out in a soft voice. As if something in him snapped, his lips zoomed into yours in a passionate heated kiss. You moan, slinging your arms on his nape, pulling him closer to you until he was in between your thighs.

“Tooru” You slipped out when he removed his lips on yours only to kiss you again. You could feel the heat of his skin on yours as you pulled and pulled him closer as humanly possible. 8 years flashed through your eyes and all you could think about was how good it feels to have his lips nipping on your neck.

He moans your name, fingers combing through your hair in a desperate attempt to feel all of you. He’s wanted you for so long he couldn’t think straight when he felt your hands dig under his shirt, the cold of your hands digging into his back. He groans, kissing you again in the lips before letting you slip his shirt off his shoulders.

You hum, pulling away to kiss his collarbone, hands feeling his chest down to his abdomen. You felt him tug your shirt and you giggled into his chest, taking your shirt off only for Oikawa to roam his hands on your back, to your front then to your chest. He pressed a soft peck on the flesh of your breasts that wasn’t covered by your bra and he looked up at you and asked “Are you sure?”

“Yes” You exhaled and that was all it took for Oikawa to push you gently deeper to the bed, enjoying the feeling of his fingers working its way down to your legs. He took off your pants, Oikawa took a deep breath at the sight of your cunt. He goes back up to you, nuzzling his head into your neck and whispers “God, the things you make me feel” He airly chuckles.

You took a hold of his cheeks, kissing his eyes, his nose then his lips “I love you”

“I love you too”

-

“God, I’m nervous” Oikawa starts, jumping lightly as he holds your hand. You rolled your eyes but a smile plastered on your face. You grin at him and he continues “I’ve been an idiot for a very long time-” He pauses and smiles

“-still am” You snort “-but a tad bit better now that I’m with you” A soft, endeared smile crept onto your lips

“I won’t say that I don’t regret all those years that I could’ve been with you. But we both know that was crucial and all that matters is that now I’m with you” His eyes shone and his lips creased into a smile that reached his ears

“I promise to never leave you,” he pushes the ring into your left ring finger “-not even death can do us apart” You hear your family and friends laugh in the background

“I will bother you every step of the way-” you could not help the roll of your eyes “-and love you for the rest of my life”

“Actually, scratch that. I’ll love you even when I die. I’ll love you in my next life. And the one after that, and the one after that. No matter how many times I reborn-” Oikawa takes your hands to his lips, eyes fluttering shut as he pressed his soft lips on your knuckles

“-I vow to find you and love you. Like I’ve always had and always will”

For all of your life, Oikawa Tooru has been a constant even at times you wish he wasn’t. There was a time you loathed him, a time you missed him, a time you forgot him, and a time you realized you will never stop loving him.

And as you stand before your creator, in front of your friends and family, promising to love each other till the end of time. The sound of “I do”s and cheers reverberating around the hall, as he kissed you with a tilt of his head. 

You fell in love all over again.

i suck at ending lines ajhbsnckl. i’ma edit this later when i ain’t tired AND hungry

#oikawa torū #oikawa imagine #oikawa tooru #oikawa tooru imagines #oikawa angst #oikawa fluff #oikawa smut #hq x reader #oikawa x reader #oikawa x you #oikawa x y/n #oikawa haikyuu #haikyuu angst #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu imagine #haikyuu #oikawa toru x reader #oikawa oneshot #chihomichannelhq

[dolokhoded]

okay, the fandom’s in a bit of a situation, let’s debunk. 

i never said you’re not allowed to criticize livesies.

criticize it all you want!! we should do that, there’s a shit ton of issues with it. i tried to be as general as possible in the post i made, saying “don’t overlook issues in one production instead of the other” because i was hoping it’d get across my point that i would do the exact same if the situation was vice versa and people were talking about 92sies instead of livesies, but obviously i didn’t, so let’s talk about it. 

you are absolutely right to criticize some aspects of livesies. you are absolutely right to criticize some aspects of 92sies. what you are not right to do is criticize one version, which in our situation is livesies, but it could be 92sies and my point would still stand the same, just to prove that the other is better. because guess what, it’s not, both productions had huge issues, some being in the plot, some being in casting choices, some being in the way female characters were portrayed, one production having some problematic points about it does not make the other better for not having them, cause there’s other things wrong with it that the other managed to handle better. what i was addressing was people overlooking issues in one just because it was the version they preferred. these are real issues that affect people’s real lives, (mine included as a neurodivergent queer trans person from a working class family in a country that has never in o aspect been kind to anyone but the social norm and, let’s face it, was never good with its money either). i also wanna say that this has never actually been about albert, me saying things like “yeah when albert was mentioned i snapped” or “say something about albert dasilva smh” i’m only joking. i’m sorry i didn’t make that clear. you’re allowed to dislike the character if you like, obviously, i just didn’t agree with the post that said he was an attempt to replace blink with a non-disabled character, i thought they were actually quite different and the only traits they shared was being a little stone cold and impulsive. if this was a situatuion like the winx thing where they replaced flora, a poc, in that new netflix series with a ‘new’ character who had no difference to her except being white, i would agree.

now, i wasn’t going to talk about any of these actual points, but there’s a certain one that just felt really personal to me and i think i actually wanna talk about it, and that’s crutchie being carried at some point after carrying the banner in livesies. disabled people sometimes will need help to adjust their lives to a society morphed around abled bodies’ needs and that will never make them any less strong. just like how i will sometimes ask my friends use tone indicators while texting, or will sometimes ask them to adjust the topics or the volume and intensity at which they’re talking in in verbal conversation, crutchie accepting some help with his friend to catch up with the other newsies does not make him weak. that’s all i had to say about that. 

lastly i actually want to apologize to maggs, i wasn’t planning on addressing any people personally and i’m pretty sure she’s blocked me but just in case she hasn’t or someone can pass this on to her, i’d still like to get this out. it was never my intention to hurt her feelings, or say she’s a bad person, i just didn’t think what she did was right. in my post i tried my best to not attack anyone personally and stay on topic, keeping it strictly about the issue that bothered me. i never meant to make it seem like i was implying she was some horrible person, that is not up to me to decide. so, yeah, if anything i said felt like it was there to hurt you i’m sorry. i should’ve been more clear about it. 

okay, that’s all i wanted to say on this. i lowkey know this post is going to get me a lot of backlash which, like, fair, it’s a post on the internet that everyone can see, they’re allowed to react to it how they like but, yeah, i was still a little reluctant about posting it because it’s really not what i need right now so if anyone says anything on this and i don’t respond, i will, just give me some time please, i will.

side note: i don’t usually make posts that long, especially when i’m upset so if some words or expressions or grammar aren’t correct forgive me, english isn’t my first language, thanks.

#newsies #92sies #idk i dont really feel like tagging

[certifiedceraunophile]

Hi! A fan of your writing here. I just love the way you write Caroline. An Avoidable Heart is my comfort fic and I am constantly in awe with the way you write and craft the dynamics in that story. Caroline's inner monologue is just priceless and God! I just love that intro scene where Caroline is walking into the Mikaelson compound with vampires and hybrids in the surrounding ready to pounce on her.

I would love to hear how you would have visualized Caroline crossing over into TO or not? Like in what season and why? How it would have likely gone?

Thank you!

First of all lovely anon gimme a moment to breathe, asdfghjkl why are people so lovely 😭😭🥺✨ It means sooo much to me that you’d take the time to jump into my inbox and send these kind words, like please I’m not worthyyyyy, But you make me smile and feel really freaking warm so *handcuffs your hand to mine* you aint leaving 💖✨💞🙃

But OK ALSO oh my god dude THAT CAROLINE WALTZS INTO THE COMPOUND AND TAKES ON A COUPLE HUNDRED VAMPIRES BY HERSELF SCENE???? Ughhhhh I’m sorry but I have SUCH a boner for Caroline in that, like my badass -I admit kinda op- QUEEN IS HERE and she’s fucking shit up, I’m sorry but I love that scene so much it’s so dear to me I was killing myself over how self-indulgent and grossly Over powered Caroline is but like idgaf man it’s such a hot scene and Caroline is practically invincible and we just love to see that, so seriously lovely anon, you telling me you LOVE that scene??? Puts the biggest smile on my face and reassures me a LOT bc I was whining and cribbing over how absolutely unbalanced that scene is to literally everyone BUT LIKE YOU JUMPING OUT OF NOWHERE and pointing that exact scene UGHH…...meant to fucking be the both of us 💖💞✨

And ALSO Caroline’s monologue is quite honestly the easiest inner monologue out of the three voices I wrote for that work, Klaus’s is the real pain in the ass tbvh like it is NOT easy writing pretentious besotted losers with a Kardashian complex especially when you need to make them sound cool when they’re the lamest OP dude bros to ever exist - and no I don’t hate Klaus although I seem to try my darndest to convince ppl I do- I just personally believe that a feral fucker like that with a thousand years of existence under his belt can grow a pair and graduate from his kindergarten level of emotional maturity to adult sometime soon, But then on the flipside he’s so grossly adorkably smitten and feral for Caroline plus hella horny for her all the time that its usually easy to write the trashed and devoted idiot he is into something pretentious and powerful and potent when relating to his unflappable arrogance and his narcissism, but sometimes I also need him to be *deep* and ffs profound for the sake of the plot and jfc my muse just wont work with me on that, she’s like I’m sorry I’m not about to bust my ass to make this mongrel intelligible like no sir all I wanna do is make him uncomfortably horny for Caroline and leave him like that.

So smh yeah the struggle is real….but lmao Caroline is just so precious and fiercely protective and just so achingly lonely in that story, so desperate for connection and trust and intimacy yet so guarded and impervious to everyone like it hurts me to write her like that but it really challenges me as an author to balance out her inherent light with the “void” I create in her and through her, so yeah it’s a very fulfilling task and I wouldnt change it one bit, and also I had to balance out her physical op-ness w half a millennium of the ugliest emotional trauma lol so I guess that figures, but the point being….once again I am overjoyed knowing that you liked a facet of the story that I tried so hard to make as authentically Caroline and achingly real and moving as I can and I cannot possibly feel more accomplished than rn for it so ty ty ty ty for reaching out to me and telling me *tackle hugs* It makes me GIDDY knowing that you enjoyed that particular part of the story like ugh stab me please you're too sweet.

And ok NOW, coming to The Originals part of the ask, (also please note that when I say TO headcanon; Hope does not exist, Hayley is a dead in a ditch and ofc Klaus will stop being that lil bitch they tried to pawn off as Klaus in TO) 

HEADCANON 1

Honestly my biggest headcanon when it comes to TO crossovers somehow always include non-humanity!Caroline like it’s just so perfect to me?? The opportunity to make shit BLOW UP b/w them like imagine the DEBAUCHERY, the heat, the SEXUAL TENSION, the repression of one Klaus Mikaelson, the EXPLORATIONS, and omg the role reversal when Klaus has to be the voice of moral reason between them and not bc he believes Caroline would not be able to stand herself if she does something heinous and monstrous but bc he wants her to be completely and utterly herself, and yk *aware*, when she DECIMATES ppl to the ground and is in full-on predator mode, like he wants her monster to come out and play with him when no part of Caroline is locked away or suppressed, so obviously when she is w/o her humanity KLAUS exercises restraint on her behalf, like can you imagine that, Klaus restraining himself and being the vague, extremely broken and just largely inaccurate moral compass between the two of them for ALL the wrong reasons- and the entirety of NOLA just standing there watching him herd this baby vampire who seems to be intent on riling him up and angering him when all she is doing is giving him a massive hybrid hard on, like IMAGINE THE GOODNESS of non-humanity Caroline wrecking NOLA and Klaus letting her wreck it bc he is helpless in the face of Caroline Forbes and also bc he is quite honestly *enjoying* the debauchery himself so why put a damper on the festivities.

-I might wanna add that I favour this headcanon a lot bc I genuinely do not even remotely *like* the idea of NOLA as Klaus's chosen place to set his roots so like I would love Caroline going to NOLA and destroying everything there just bc I detest NOLA and the storyline behind it in TO. (yes is it petty? Obvi, but like I am a petty soul and I make no apologies ma’am)

HEADCANON 2

So yeah that’s my main TO headcanon, but my other one being, one I talk about very frequently, scream about in tag rants to an obsessive level, and like this is a cracky one but still very valid, where Caroline rolls up to NOLA humanity intact and all, finds Hayley preggo and is just laughing her fucking ass off bc anybody ANYBODY, with half a brain and a two minute convo w klaus would know how UTTERLY stupid the entire baby shit is especially when it’s with an immemorable one night stand, and Caroline’s just losing her shit about how like an entire city is obssessed w this baby and she just straight up tells Klaus he’d SUCK as a dad (which he really does tho like he was a shitty fucking dad canonically too) and Klaus is just like *sigh* girl tell me about it. I mean basically he’s finally relieved that someone is on his side about the whole baby thing and how he definitely does not want his entire millennium of life to finally sum up to this one squalling leaking stinky infant/unicorn Hayley is apparently baking in her oven, and I say this headcanon is cracky bc klaus would never have put up w this mess long enough for Caroline to come in and sort it out, there’s this preferred method of disposal of his called heart ripping that would've been employed quite early on and honestly saved us all a lot of brain cells and minused years of life, bc let’s be real any Klaus who’s NOT a lil snivelling bitch wearing a Klaus skinsuit would’ve yeeted the baby and the mama first chance he got, and that’s just how I see it.

Lmao I really hope I didnt scare you away w my *strong* opinions Ik they can be a bit much but I enjoy having them so theyre not going anywhere, anyways this ask answer got WAYYYY too long but I’m hoping I answered your question well with this or atleast left you slightly confused and bemused over my feral screaming....either ways I’m really really really happy to have got your ask and the chance to rant so much bs, Twas cathartic and honestly I had nothing to do today so I was more than happy to dish this baby out for you. Thank you so much sweet anon for putting a smile on my face today I am absolutely HONOURED by your words you’sa cutie 💖💞✨🗣🗣

#first of all #LONG POST #second #I did rant a LOTTTT more than what was prolly expected but lmao am I sorry? #no #anyway so those are my general drivel-tastic thoughts straight from glitter graveyard brain #hope you enjo navigating through so much bs anon #and I hope someone puts a smile on your face that's as large and bright as the one you've put on mine today #anon asks #ask certified ceraunophile #anti the orginals #tvd headcanons #tvd #klaroline #anon youre the sweetest #shakes hand cuffed hand #you stuck w me lovely #💞💞

[dearest-bucky]

One more try (One Shot)

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary:  Bucky and Y/n hate each other! Or do they?

Words: 6.1K

Warnings: swearing, angst, mentions of blood, fluff

A/n: This is written for @buckysknifecollection‘s writing challenge, I had no. 11 - Enemies to lovers. Thank you so much Ellie for allowing me to be a part of your challenge, it has been a genuine pleasure for me! ❤️ p.s. I’m sorry you’re getting another notification for this, I’ve had to make a new blog and repost everything smh..  Feedback is always appreciated! x

Originally posted: August 22, 2020

Only one ray of sun was able to make its way inside her room, which was otherwise dark and gloomy. That lonesome ray of light, like a beacon of hope, illuminated her face and she threw one of her pillows over her head to escape it. Not even a minute later her alarm started ringing and Y/n groaned in annoyance, but she knew she had to wake up. She'd have less than thirty minutes to get breakfast before Natasha hauled her ass to the gym for their morning training. With a pout she got up from her bed, almost blindly finding her way to the bathroom through the mostly dark room.

In record time she got dressed in her work out clothes and quickly left her room to head to the kitchen, she needed coffee - too much coffee - to wake up properly and something to eat to fill her growling stomach.

After an awful night of disturbed sleep, she felt like punching anyone who so much as looked her way. Heavy steps directed her to the communal kitchen and she hoped it would be empty, not even a little bit  in the mood to interact with anyone before breakfast, but her hope was crashed as soon as she heard the voices of several team members chatting idly over their own meals.

"Good morning Y/n." Steve was the first one to greet her and she could only grunt out her reply to him, moving purposefully to the coffee machine. So close to salvation, she thought as she grabbed a mug from the cupboards, but apparently it was already decided this was going to be 'Y/n's very shitty day!' because the coffee pot was empty when she turned to fill her mug.

"Great! Who the hell drank all the coffee?" She rose her voice in annoyance and everyone's head turned to her. She eyed them all, all of them looking confused at her outburst, only one person had the decency to look sheepish as he sipped uncomfortably on his own coffee.

"Sorry doll, I had a refill just before you came and didn't think to make more." Bucky. Of course it would be him; the bane of her existence.

"Of course it would be you!" She scoffed at him while moving around to make more coffee for herself. "Asshole." She muttered as her back was turned to him but everyone heard it anyway, Bucky included.

"Excuse me!" He spoke up, getting slightly irritated at her. "You can say that to my face." This was usual for them, their relationship consisted of insults and mean words thrown to each other. Steve put his hand on Bucky's shoulder, silently asking him to not start an argument with Y/n again, but the brunette had already made his mind. Y/n spoke again under her breath, probably a curse word meant for Bucky, but didn't turn around to speak to him directly. "I don't know what's your problem," he then continued after not receiving an answer from her. "but it doesn't give you the right to be a bitch."

That only worsened her mood and she turned around to finally look directly at him, rage evident in her eyes and features. "Yeah, maybe I'm a bitch, Barnes, but that doesn't mean you're not still a selfish brainless fuck." As soon as the words left her mouth she regretted them, but it was already too late to take them back. She saw his face fall immediately, heard a shocked gasp fall from Wanda's lips who had been silently eating her cereal next to Bucky. Steve only looked her way, his signature "eyebrows of disappointment" look evident on his face.

Y/n wanted to apologize, she truly did, having already regretted the words that spilled out of her mouth before she even spoke them, but before she could say another word Tony entered in the kitchen with his usual light step, unaware of the tension around. "Good morning, kids." He said. "Barnes, I'm glad you're here." There was an easiness in the way he spoke, the absolute contrary of the conversation that had happened literally two minutes ago. Bucky let out a low grunt in acknowledgement, but said nothing as he waited for Tony to say what he had to say. "There's this journalist that's been on my back for a while now, wanting to do an interview with the Avengers. But since we're rather busy with other small, meaningless things like saving the world." Tony and his sarcasm. "You're gonna have to do it."

"Why me?" Were the only words Bucky said, not in the mood to engage in another conversation for the day.

"Because the rest of us have to leave on a mission this afternoon." The billionaire explained. "The interview is set for today at 5pm. The journalist will come here at the compound, one of the offices is set up for her to do this. And don't worry, you won't be alone, Y/n will stay with you."

At that her and Bucky visibly panicked and Y/n was the first to start the protesting, but Tony was having none of it. "Don't bother wasting either of our times, that's already decided Y/n." She wanted to say something but Tony didn't let her. "Nuh-uh." He held his hand up to stop her. "You and Barnes will represent the Avengers today and that's final. Besides, your arm isn't still fully healed for another mission anyway, so there's that too. Now the rest of us, let's get ready to kick some Hydra ass." He left the kitchen just as he entered it, that same strut in his step still present.

Steve and Wanda finished their breakfast and got up from their seats wordlessly, only patting Bucky lightly on the shoulder before they left the kitchen, leaving Bucky and Y/n there alone. To say the air was uncomfortable would be severely underestimating it. One could literally cut the tension with a knife. Y/n wanted to apologize to Bucky for earlier but he got up too, putting his empty mug in the sink and leaving Y/n behind too, alone with her thoughts and feelings of shame and guilt.

Way to ruin everyone's day!

Just like Tony said, at precisely 5 o'clock in the afternoon, the journalist was at the compound, along with a cameraman. The office had been set already, only Bucky was missing. Y/n was there to greet the young woman who seemed too enthusiastic to be doing this, she even asked Y/n for an autograph which she promised to give after the interview. A few minutes later Bucky showed up too, the same somber expression in his face that was painted after Y/n's outburst in the morning in the kitchen.

The interview was going well, the journalist asking questions about the Avengers in general, the missions and Y/n and Bucky answered all of her questions in turn, being kind and polite to the young woman, but after some more questioning she decided it was time to show her true colors.

"So mister Barnes, how do you feel about everything that happened to you as the Winter Soldier and I was wondering whether you think you're free of all that.. I mean do you think you are truly over that part of your life?" The world came to a stop as she asked her question, even the air seemed to have stilled in the meantime. Bucky was like a deer caught in the headlights, fumbling with himself to get the words out in answer, but he couldn't. He couldn't form not one single coherent thought to reply to that. Y/n was shocked too by the rudeness of the journalist and she turned her head on the side to look at Bucky, finding him glued in place, an unreadable expression on his face, he wasn't even blinking anymore.

Y/n felt so bad, thinking she was so mean to him in the morning and now this stupid journalist was doing the exact same thing that she had done earlier, she knew she had to do something, so without losing another moment she replied instead of Bucky. "Every question pertaining to the psychological evaluation of Sargent Barnes has been already answered in the court room when the State declared him innocent two years ago. You have no right to be asking that kind of question, you-"

She wanted to say more but the other woman interrupted her. "No, I was just wondering if... I mean Mr. Barnes could..."

This time it was Y/n's turn to interrupt her, raising her hand to signal her to stop speaking and getting up from the chair she was sitting. "You can show yourselves out." Was all she said before walking out of the office, Bucky following right behind her, a little stunned by her behavior.

She was walking to her room when Bucky called behind her, making her freeze in the spot. She turned around to face him, silently waiting for him to speak first. He seemed still a little flushed from the situation before, but he spoke before he could lose his nerve. "Y/n, um.. Thanks, uhh for.. you know.. that.." He stuttered his words out with difficulty. "You didn't have to do that but thanks." He seemed embarrassed as he turned to leave her alone, but Y/n stopped him, her hand reaching out to grab his wrist lightly.

"I'm sorry." She said. His back was turned to her and he didn't turn to face her, closing his eyes to inhale a deep breath before breaking free of her hold, not saying anything. "I'm really sorry Bucky, you know I didn't mean what I said in the morning." She spoke again to his retreating form as he walked away from her on the opposite side of the hall. She sighed dejected, resuming the way to her own room.

Truth is, Bucky and Y/n have never been friends. They were colleagues and it was all they would ever be. They had each other's back on missions but anything other than that was simply unthinkable. It wasn't always like this. When Y/n had first joined the team, she tried to get along with everyone on the team, but she supposed not everyone likes everyone. To her credit, she'd tried to be on Bucky's good side, being a new member she felt like it was her duty to try and get along with everyone, but the ex-Winter Soldier seemed like he actually hated her, what with the nasty, kind of disgusted looks he sent her way every time they crossed each other in the compound.

She couldn't understand Bucky's hostility towards her, as far as she could tell, she never did anything to offend him in the slightest, but evidently Bucky had already decided he couldn't even stand Y/n.

With time, things seemed to change and Bucky started to at least tolerate her presence around him, but they still couldn't be friendly with each other. Despite Bucky being unfriendly - for the lack of a better word - to her, she couldn't help but feel bad with herself because she actually liked the man. Ironic, isn't it! There was really nothing to dislike about him, from his looks - the man was seriously a treat for the eyes - to his kind nature, which everyone seemed to be on the receiving end of it; everyone except Y/n, who could only witness that from afar.

No matter how hard she tried to be nice to him, it was simply impossible to climb over that wall Bucky had built around himself when it came to Y/n. She finally gave up after some months, but she figured if he didn't treat her as a friend, she'd be a pain in his ass, at least that way she still got his attention somehow. So she'd started to throw words his way, being a sarcastic little shit every time she got the chance. At first Bucky continued to ignore her, just like he had done before, but then her words started to get to him, she started to get under his skin, pushing his buttons every time they were in the same place. It started innocently enough, but after a few months of back and forth, they just kept going at each other's throat all the time, bantering, throwing insults at each other and once the situation had degraded up to the point Steve had to forcefully take Bucky away from Y/n, otherwise they'd most likely end up killing each other.

It became almost natural to them to hate each other, to argue and to throw insults at each other at any given moment. And it had been going on for too long everyone else on the team was getting tired of it.

A few weeks had passed since the interview and the situation at the compound was back to normal, well, kind of. Tony had filed a complaint about the journalist, saying her behavior during the interview had been nothing short of unprofessional and that got her fired. She had it coming though.

Y/n was at the gym, training with Steve in hand to hand combat. Steve insisted everyone trained with everyone so they'd know different fighting techniques and that was a valid point he made. They'd been going at it for about two hours and Y/n was sweating profusely. Once again, Steve managed to kick her feet from underneath and she fell on her back on the mat. Y/n groaned in frustration. "Okay that's enough for today, my muscles are killing me. You're killing me Rogers." Her finger pointed accusingly at him as she laid down, too tired to even consider getting up.

"Or maybe you're just too weak." Came the surprising voice of Bucky who had just entered the gym, wearing only a pair of shorts and nothing else as he walked to the ring, leaning his arms on the ropes.

Ever since the day of the interview, there hadn't been many interaction between them, choosing instead to just ignore each other even when they ran into each other in the compound. Y/n still felt guilty for what she said that day so she didn't want to upset Bucky more than she already had and he had seemed to be in the same board with her because he never said anything; until now.

Y/n only scoffed at his comment, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of her annoyance and still too tired to even argue with anyone, least of all him, but apparently Bucky had something else in mind, because he spoke again. "'S that it, you're too weak, dollface?" His voice held a hint of mischief to it, and no matter how much Y/n wanted to just ignore him and what he said, he knew how to get her riled up. With screaming limbs she managed to get up and move towards him, leaning on the same ropes he was, coming face to face with Bucky as she was staring down at him.

"Right now I am, I'm sure you know how it is to get your ass handled by Steve." She said it so casually, as if she was talking to a friend and not Bucky. Steve on the other side of the ring snorted out a laugh as he sipped from his bottle of water.

Bucky smirked at her words. "Wait 'til you try me then. Your ass won't recover for weeks." And he winked.

"Shut up Barnes." She replied, trying to hide the growing blush on her cheeks and moved to walk away from him and out of the gym, dragging her duffel bag on the floor as she walked, leaving the two men behind.

"You're a punk Buck, why'd you have to tease her like that? You always do this and then you end up saying hurtful things to each other." Steve pointed out with a frown on his face. He seriously hated it when Bucky and Y/n argued with each other, because it left them always fuming and wanting to punch something. That something most of the time was Steve.

"Shut up, jerk. You don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't I?" Steve stared him down until it was starting to get uncomfortable and Bucky left the gym too, not saying anything else to Steve.

Bucky hated to fight with Y/n. If he was being honest, he hated himself for doing it too, but it seemed as if that was the only way there could be some sort of relationship between them. Bucky knew it was mostly his fault. He'd been unwelcoming towards her since the beginning and now it seemed as if it was to late to try and salvage anything. Deep in his heart, Bucky regretted his every action that lead him to here with Y/n, because very deep down, he liked her. Y/n was interesting, to say the least.

When she first joined the team she was too happy, almost too much for Bucky's liking. She was the exact opposite of his haunted soul, too lively, too innocent. She was always nice to him, greeting him with that same mirthful smile every God damn time. She seemed like too much for him at the time anyway and he did his best to steer her as far away from his as possible. And he succeeded at it. He finally managed to make Y/n hate his guts, and he had no one to blame for that but himself. Now, what he wouldn't give to see her lovely smile directed at him, he had lost his chance though.

It had been days on end since they had their last interaction, now it seemed as if Y/n wouldn't spare him even insults or sarcastic remarks anymore. That was still something, he thought to himself. He actually looked forward to teasing her relentlessly every time he ran into her, it was the only way they knew how to talk to each other. But ever since the day of the interview, Y/n had gone way out of her way to ignore him. Bucky knew she didn't mean what she said that morning in the kitchen, he could see the regret written all over her face as soon as the words left her mouth, but that didn't mean that in that moment it hadn't hurt.

Bucky still lived with the feelings of guilt and remorse for everything he'd done as the Soldier and having people slap him in the face with that truth, it hurt more than he'd ever care to admit. Especially when one of those people was Y/n. Despite the fact that he knew she didn't mean it, what she said was true and a lot of other people thought so too. That journalist thought so too. He still remembers how Y/n stood up for him, showing the door to that rude journalist and he can't help the flutter in his heart at the sentiment. He had decided then and there to forgive her for the words she said, before she even apologized to him in the hall. Bucky had called her a bitch too, so he was as guilty as her.

"Wake up, Buck. Urgent mission." Steve shaking his shoulder slightly woke him up, not registering his words yet and humming in question sleepily. Steve repeated himself and finally Bucky got up from his bed, fully awake and conscious.

Steve hated to wake him up, he knew Bucky barely slept enough as it was, but being an Avenger meant urgent, impromptu missions the entire time. They walked to the jet together, finding the rest of the team already seated there. Apparently they were all waiting for Bucky.

"Good morning." He greeted everyone and almost everyone greeted him back.

"Finally the Sleeping Beauty decided to join us." Y/n's voice rang in his ears and he inwardly smiled at her words. It seemed like there was some kind of weird normalcy back, despite the fact that Y/n still didn't meet his eye most of the time.

"I was actually fixing my hair, princess. Not all of us enjoy wearing the same crappy looks you serve." He replied to her, the same sarcastic but playful hint in the tone of his voice. Her hair was up in a sleek ponytail and there was a natural morning glow on her face that made her look as beautiful as ever. Bucky only liked to give her shit, but in reality he loved how she looked all the time. Y/n was about to reply again but Steve didn't let her, saying how they had to debrief the mission before going blind in the war zone. That shut them both up as they listened to the Captain explain what was going on and what they had to deal with.

"Second floor is clear, I'm going up." Bucky spoke in the ear piece that everyone shared connection with. Another Hydra base to wipe up. Nothing they hadn't done before. The only downside to it was the fact that it seemed like their 'Cut one head, two more shall take its place' motto, was proving to be true because lately more Hydra bases were showing on the Avengers' radar. It was getting irritating.

"Okay, just be careful." He heard Steve's voice in his comm and scoffed lightly. That punk and his mother hen tendencies.

The team had been searching the place for around an hour and they had found nothing yet. The halls and the offices were mostly empty. It seemed as if they had abandoned it just before the Avengers arrived, but still something just didn't sit right with Bucky. Call it a gut feeling or whatever, he simply knew that this couldn't be as easy as it seemed to be at the moment. He climbed the stairs to the upper floor, his gun in the ready to shoot anyone who crossed him. Just as he was about to turn on the left, a series of gunshots was heard from the other side of the floor Bucky was in.

"What's going on?" He asked quickly, a chilling feeling of panic settling slowly in his bones. He walked towards the noise, hoping whoever it was there from his team, was doing fine. Just as he made another turn, another gunshot was heard, then several more. His gun in the ready, he looked in front of him, finding two Hydra agents shooting at somebody he couldn't still see from where he was. He fired at them without missing a beat and when they saw him they ran in the opposite direction, trying to save themselves.

Hurrying he walked towards where the Hydra agents were shooting, his eyes widening in horror at the sight in front of him. He rushed to get a closer look at the person who was laying down just a few steps away from him and he reached her he fell to his knees next to her.

"Oh my God." He said in panic. "Y/n, can you listen to me?" He patted her cheek lightly, trying to gain her attention and it worked because she averted her eyes to look at him.

Her entire abdomen was bloody, the navy blue cat suit stained with her blood. There were at least three bullet holes in her abdomen and one in her thigh and she was losing too much blood, too quickly. "Y/n, what the hell!" He yelled in panic, then finally came to his sense to notify the team. "Y/n's been shot. Several gunshot wounds in the abdomen. I need immediate evac. I repeat, I need immediate evac." Then he looked at Y/n, fear still evident in his eyes. "Hey, keep your eyes on me okay, look at me. It's going to be okay." He spoke in a rush, wanting to somehow make her feel better.

"Buc-" she tried to speak but she started coughing, then only a second later she was spitting blood from her mouth.

"It's okay, please don't speak. I just need you to stay awake right now." With careful movements he scooped her up in his arms, then started walking as quickly as possible to the exit. He could hear Tony's voice in his ear telling him that the jet was ready to get back at the compound, but he couldn't say anything back to him as he kept his eyes to Y/n. She was staring back at him, not daring to break eye contact, as if she were memorizing his features, the blue of his eyes, the slope of his nose, the scruff on his cheeks, the dimple on his chin. She was looking at him as if it was the last time and he didn't like it one bit. Her eyes started to flutter closed as more blood came out of her bullet wounds and Bucky yelled at her to keep looking at him. And she did.

"Bu- Bucky..." She tried to speak again but she was too tired to even form out the words. Instead she rose her bloodied hand to his face and cupped his cheek softly, but it quickly fell off as she lost the consciousness.

"No, no, no, no, no." He repeated in a frenzy as he was finally out of the facility and only a few more steps away from the jet. He practically ran the remaining distance and placed her in one of the cots there, carefully laying her down. Tony was the first to do a full body scan with Friday and put an oxygen mask on her mouth. Natasha pressed some rags on her wounds to stop the bleeding and that was all they could do at the moment. At the compound the doctors were ready to bring her in and take care of Y/n.

Bucky was pacing around the small space of the jet, mumbling to himself, he was actually driving himself and everyone else around him crazy. Steve got up from his seat and placed a hand on his best friend's shoulder. "Come sit." He spoke softly and Bucky simply nodded, obeying to him, not having even the slightest amount of force to say no.

Soon enough they arrived at the compound and Y/n was immediately taken in surgery. She had lost too much blood already and every second that passed without removing the bullets and closing her wounds was a second that could lead her to death.

Just like before, Bucky resumed to his pacing, this time in the hall of the med bay, waiting impatiently for the doctors to come out of the surgery room and say something. He'd been there for three hours already, not having left the spot for even one moment. While everyone had gone to their rooms to shower and change, Bucky had glued himself at the med bay and he wasn't planning to go away until the doctors came out with some news.

"You should go to your room and take a shower, change your clothes." Steve spoke behind him, hoping to convince him. Bucky turned around to face his friend, fear written across his face evidently and he shook his head slightly.

"I'm not going anywhere until I know she's okay." He replied, voice cracking a little with each word he spoke and Steve couldn't help but feel bad for his friend. There was a stain of blood on his cheek, mixed with streaks of tears that had ran down his face. He looked as miserable as he felt.

"Bucky..." Steve tried again but Bucky was having none of it.

"I said no." He yelled at him, then more tears ran down both of his cheeks, his voice losing all the sound, his next words coming out in a broken whisper. "I can't... I just, I can't lose her." He finally confessed. "I can't fucking lose her Steve." He came to Steve, his forehead resting on his friend's shoulder in defeat.

Steve placed both his hands around his shoulders in a hug. "She's going to be okay. She's strong, pal." He could hear Bucky sniffle but he didn't say anything, silent sobs escaping his lips as his own arms came to wrap around Steve's body, returning the hug. After a few moments in silence Steve tried again. "Please just go take a shower. I'm sure the doctors will be there for some more time, but even if they aren't I'll call you as soon as they come out of that door. I promise." That seemed to finally convince Bucky and he nodded, even though half-heartedly, stepping away from Steve and walking towards the bedrooms.

Up in his room, he was staring at himself in the bathroom mirror, staring at the stain of her blood on his cheek. He recalled the way Y/n had looked at him, as if it would be the last time and he quickly shook his head to get rid of the thought. He couldn't lose her. He could not. Not without him never telling her how he truly felt for her. The bickering and arguing back and forth was nice for however long it lasted, but now he needed to tell her that he wanted a real relationship with her. He needed to tell her he loved her.

The thought that ran in his mind shocked him. Did he really love her? But there wasn't a doubt in him as he silently nodded to his reflection in the mirror. Yes, he did. He totally did. With a newfound determination and a rush in his bones, he quickly discarded of his tactical suit and moved under the stream of water, washing away all the tears and blood and grime. He was quick and thorough to wash himself and he rushed to get dressed and get down to the med bay again.

Y/n needed to make it out alive and he would tell her the truth about his feelings. No more hiding behind petty insults and sarcastic comments.

They had to wait for another three hours before the doctors finally came out. Bucky was the first to get up and walk to them, immediately asking them about Y/n. Behind his back, Steve, Sam and Natasha were waiting impatiently to know too.

"The bullets are all out and we closed all of her wounds, but one of them was too close to her spine and more difficult to remove. We hope she will wake up soon. For now she has to rest." One of them explained as calmly as he could.

"You hope? You fucking hope?" Bucky yelled.

"Buck.." Steve tried to calm him down but Bucky wasn't listening.

"No, you shut up." He turned to say to Steve, then back again to the doctors. "You're telling me her life is depending on your fucking hope? I thought you were the best and that's why Stark hired you." He was shouting in their faces and the poor doctors couldn't say anything.

"Mr. Barnes it's too early to speak now." The other doctor said, hoping to calm him down a little. "We did our best, now it's all up to her body and how well she recovers." The doctors excused themselves and walked away, leaving Bucky with his friends there. His mind was running at millions miles per hour, thinking of the worst things that could happen, but he was quick to dismiss those thoughts. Y/n had to wake up! She had to be okay! She had to!!!

Almost a week had passed and there was no sign that she was waking up. Her body was healing in a normal rhythm, but it seemed like it was her mind that wasn't cooperating. The doctors explained it as a short coma that her brain had put her body in to recover fully, but Bucky thought it was just a bunch of bullshit.

Every moment of every day he spent it in the room she was currently at, sitting in a semi comfortable chair next to her bed. He sat there during the day and slept there during the night, even ate next to her when Steve brought him something to put in his stomach after he refused once again to leave her side. He hadn't shower since the day they returned from the mission and he so badly needed to, but he still refused to leave her side.

"You know, doll, when you wake up, the first thing I'm gonna do is kiss you. I'm telling ya this now so when I do it it doesn't come as a surprise to you." He spoke to her as if they were conversing normally. He was always speaking to her, pouring his heart out to her, expressing his love to her, his fears, all of his feelings. And she remained there, immobile and silent while he spoke and spoke.

He was holding her hand in both of his, gently stroking her knuckles with his thumb when the door of the room opened and inside entered Natasha with a determination in her eye no one was able to break. "Get your ass up Barnes. You reek." She spoke to him, a little harsher than she intended to, but he wasn't listening to their kind requests anymore. Bucky only grunted out at her to leave him alone but Nat punched his right shoulder in reprimand. "I didn't ask. Now get your ass up from that chair. You're going to go in your room, and you're going to take a shower and then you can come back here. I'm sure Y/n wouldn't appreciate your unpleasant stink when she wakes up." That last sentence got his attention and he finally relented, albeit still a little unsure, but he got up from the chair and with one final look at Y/n's face he left the room to take a quick shower. Nat was definitely right about him reeking.

Another week scooped up in the same hospital like room, another week she's been silent, still not waking up. Bucky hated the feeling of the unknown, he hated to not have a sure answer, but he figured he'd wait his entire life for her. And that's what he was telling her this time. "I promise baby, you just have to wake up, then you can leave the rest to me. I know I've hurt you in the past and I know you probably really hate me, but I just need only one more try and I'm gonna make you fall in love with me just like I've fallen in love with you."

"Do you promise?"

The hoarse sound of her unused for weeks voice was heard, low and gruff and Bucky couldn't believe that it was actually happening. Still dazed, cupping both her cheeks in his hands he asked. "Y/n?" A little unsure of what to expect, almost certain he had only dreamed the whole thing.

"What, you lost your voice now? You were talking big game before I woke up." She spoke again, this time a little hint of playfulness evident in her otherwise still hoarse voice. Bucky chuckled, finally convinced that he wasn't dreaming and without missing a beat he connected his lips softly to hers, just like he had promised before. He sighed at the contact but broke it too soon for either of their liking.

Her eyes opened slowly to look up at him who was hovering above her, a dreamy smile plastered on his face.

"Hi."

"Hi, doll." He replied to her, a little breathlessly and she grinned up to him. "How much of what I've said this entire time have you heard?"

"Pretty much everything." She answered with the ever present grin. "You've made a lot of promises mister." Her voice held a glint of joy in it, the sound, Bucky was convinced it was angelic.

"And I plan to keep every one of them, sweetheart." He leaned down slightly to kiss her lips again, actually relieved he was able to finally do so. He was so stupid to have lost all that time arguing and fighting, not telling her how he really felt, only coming to his senses when he almost lost her, but he was done running away from his feelings. And apparently so was she. They kept kissing, keeping it slow and sweet, but able to transmit every single feeling into each other. They were so lost in that kiss they didn't even hear the door of the room open and the team entering, finding them lip locked and wrapped up in their own little world.

"Barnes, you asshole, when were you going to tell us that Y/n woke up?

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes imagines

[grayfilmsandstuff]

Yeah I’m doing another one of these smh 🙄 But here’s mine😩

I’m 5’1, ace, and I have long wavy brown hair that goes down to my ass.👹 For race and stuff I’m Puerto Rican/American. At first when I meet people I tend to be shy, quiet, and soft spoken but when I warm up I’m the exact opposite. Loud, funny, etc. I LOVE RODENTS but really just animals in general, I fidget with my hair a lot and like having them in braids even though I dunno how to do braids. I have a HUGE sweet tooth, and I have a very strong sense of justice and I can’t stand people who enjoy the suffering of and/or others to make themselves feel better. I’m pretty touch starved, I tend to space out and forget stuff pretty easy even if it was said 5 minutes ago. I get anxious around lots of people and I’ll say super weird shit like “would you still love me if I was ur big toe” at like 3am 💀 I get REALLY REALLY flustered I think is the word? By compliments and stuff like “I love you” like I’ll literally freak out and squeal. AND THATS IT IM SORRY THIS WAS SO LONG SHARTY

hey sharty this is nowhere NEAR as long as a few requests i've gotten so don't worry you're good also u seem like someone i really want to be friends with like what the heck anyways here's ur matchup

i match you wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiith...

Sanford!

- Sanford has been your best friend for YEARS. yeah that's right you guys have the besties to lovers trope let's go

- you guys probably ended up getting a little too close for just a platonic relationship and you didn't even realize it had gotten to a romantic point. Deimos was the one who had to point it out to you

- "ugh why do you guys have to date so loudly like.. . . .we get it the rest of us are single keep it to yourself"

- "...wait we're dating"

- ".. . . . .. .what"

- after that you did actually start to date Sanford and you don't regret it in the slightest

- he loooves your long hair and often times he'll have you sit in his lap and he'll braid it, and then once he's done you'll lean back and lay on his chest and watch whatever's on TV

- he braids it well enough but your hair requires a lot of brushing to undo it because his big hands got it quite tangled

- he shares your liking of animals but he's scared of rats so one time you found a rat outside and showed it to him. he SCREAMED

- you never let him live that down

- because of your sweet tooth and the lack of candy/sweets available to buy in Nevada, Sanford tries his best to bake for you. sometimes he lets you hang onto his back like a piggyback ride while he's baking

- you refuse to go on missions. you hate fighting and although you don't approve of it, you still love Sanford and sometimes you watch him in action through 2BD's video chat and just appreciate his skill. and his abs too definitely his abs

- Sanford LOVES physical affection so most of the time you two are inseparable and all over each other

- he gives you piggyback rides a lot, although those tend to end in him falling backwards onto the couch/his bed and intentionally crushing you

- he also gives lots of hugs from the front and the back and he picks you up a lot. sometimes he just grabs you by the waist, spins you around, kisses you, then puts you back down and continues on his way

- whenever you forget something he or someone else said he teasingly reminds you and doesn't let you forget it

- because of this, though, he makes it his duty to tell you that he loves you all. the. time. you never hear the end of it. but you don't mind at all because every time you hear him say it, it sends all sorts of butterflies into your stomach, whether its during a close hug and he whispers it to you or he just calls it to you from across the bunker

- every day you ask him if he would still love you under a certain circumstance and it makes him laugh every single time

- "hey babe? would you still love me if i were, like... i don't know, a worm?"

- "...girl you are not okay"

- he totally would

UGH this was SO FUN to write please. . ...

#mc but the good kind #my writing #x reader #x reader matchup #madcom x reader #madness combat x reader #sanford x reader #sanford #mc sanford #madcom sanford #madness sanford #madness combat sanford #from the minds of others #text post #leshawnaprism

[bangtanstrawberrycheesecake]

You accidentally moan another member’s name

➾ pairing: min yoongi x  reader

➾ genre: smut, angst, slice of life, realistic reaction

➾ summary: you accidentally moan another member’s name during your orgasm

Your legs was hooked on Yoongi’s shoulder as he thrust in and out of you. “F-fuck...” His face contorted in pleasure when he felt his orgasm approaching, a soft groan leaving his lips.

You whimper underneath him, you’ve came twice from Yoongi eating you out beforehand so your pussy felt extra sensitive. “Y-yoongi i’m close...” you cried, your fingers were clasping on the sheets like your life depended on it. Yoongi answered you by going harder making skin slapping noise resonate around the room when his hips bump against your thigh. “A-ah,” you wince in both pain and pleasure when you felt the tip of his dick tap repeatedly against your cervix.

“You okay?” Yoongi manage to breathe out as he slow down his thrust, head looking down to check on you. “The-“ you wanted to say “there” when his dick brushes on that one spot in your walls that make your head spin but a moan came out of your lips instead.

Yoongi seems to catch on and kept thrusting, making sure to hit that same exact spot that make you clench extra hard on him. “Shit you’re gripping me baby” Yoongi huff out, sweat dripping off his forehead.

“I’m cumming-“ you cried out and arch your back, pussy clamping down on his cock as you feel the familiar whirlpool in your belly indicating your orgasm. That was all it took for Yoongi to catch his high too, he let out a few curses as he came inside you, painting your walls with his warm load.

Meanwhile You were on the brink of your orgasm when your head is screaming at you to tell Yoongi to keep hitting that one spot, it felts so good you couldnt seem to form any incoherent sentence. “The-nggh.. the-...” you were so fucked out you couldnt even manage to say a simple “there”.

You suck a few breath of oxygen in hope to speak out your thoughts, but Yoongi was still thrusting and groaning in pleasure on top of you and it felt so good and you dont even know what you’re saying and you end up letting out a pretty loud “the-ngggg...taehyunngg-” the same time your orgasm hit you.

When you came down from your high and open your eyes you felt Yoongi pull out of you roughly, “What the fuck was that?”

You swore you’ve never heard Yoongi talk to you with a tone that harsh during your relationship with him. You just lay there on the bed like a dumbass in your post orgasmic haze as his cum dribble out of you, barely registering what’s going on and when you didn’t answer him Yoongi stood out of the bed. Something he never do because he always spend time with you on the bed after you guys have sex.

You didnt even register you had said Taehyung’s name and just lay on the bed in confusion while looking at Yoongi who were putting on his underwear and pants harshly. You’ve never seen him look more pissed off than he is right now and you didn’t even know what you had done wrong.

“Yoongi what is up with you?” You ask in confusion while pulling the blanket up to cover your naked body. Yoongi stop whatever he was doing and look at you bewildered, “You’re seriously asking me that after you moan out Taehyung’s name right infront of my face?”

You look at him confused and Yoongi shook his head in dissapointment before continuing to put his tshirt on. It took you a few seconds to replay the scenes in your head and your eyes widen when you realized you must have made a mistake and said Taehyung’s name in the middle of your orgasm.

You immediately rose up the bed, your left hand clatching on the bed sheets to cover your body while your right hand try to grab Yoongi’s arm in attempt to pull Yoongi to the bed so you both could talk it out. But the minute your hand touches his, Yoongi immediately pull his hand away.

“Don’t touch me.” Yoongi spoke in a cold voice. He looks at you like you were a stranger to him and you’ve never felt so small infront of him before. Your lips tremble as you whimper out softly, “That was a mistake Yoongi I swear I dont even know what I was saying.”

“Bullshit.” Yoongi looks at you dead in the eyes and you could see dissapointment clouding his gaze. “You’re fucking Taehyung behind my back aren’t you?” His accusing words pierce through your heart and you could feel how much the question that left his lips had hurted him too.

You immediately shake your head, tears starts clouding your eyes and you mentally scold yourself for being dumb enough to said another man’s name during something so important. “I swear I was in the middle of saying “there” but i moaned “ngg” after “the” and i must’ve said taehyung’s name afterwards because it sound similar.” You try your best to defend yourself, hoping Yoongi could believe you but it doesn’t seem like it was working.

Yoongi shook his head, chuckling in dissapointment at what he thought was your bizarre reasoning. He felt extremely betrayed by you, and in his mind all he could think of was you having an affair with his own bandmate.

Yoongi knew you and Taehyung was bestfriends and all sorts of scenarios of you and Taehyung catching feelings and having an affair behind his back was clouding Yoongi’s brain. He’ve heard of these kind of affairs happening to other people’s relationship, he was in shocked that this was happening to him too. The two people he cared in his life has broke his trust.

“Yoongi you have to believe me.” A tear has slid down your cheeks by now and you hated the way Yoongi stared at you like he didn’t know you. You wanted your loving boyfriend back. This wasn’t how you thought your Saturday with him was going to end up.

You try to reach out to him again and hold his arms but Yoongi flinch and avoided your grasp, eyes refusing to meet your gaze. You didn’t give up though and let go of the bed sheets you were clasping on your left hand and reach out to circle your arms around Yoongi’s back in order to stop him from leaving the room.

You don’t even care if you’re butt naked. You didn’t want Yoongi to leave the apartment when you’ve both haven’t settle this problem. You were scared this incident was going to end your relationship with him. Yoongi tried to let go of you but you hold onto him as hard as you can.

“Yoongi please... I swear on my life that was a mistake I would never cheat on you and ruin us like that.” You cry out, burying your face on Yoongi’s back and you felt him stiffen up. He finally stop trying to let you go and is listening to you. “Please believe me i’m so sorry.” You couldn’t stop crying, your fingers were holding on his tshirt till your fingers turn white. You were so scared that if you let go he will leave you and never came back.

The room was silent with only your soft cries echoing around the room. You take a deep breath while sniffling, trying your best to choke out your next sentence. “I understand why you’re mad.” You whimper, “I would have done the same in your situation but please believe me that i’m not cheating on you.”

It felt like forever before Yoongi finally turn around to face you. He didn’t said anything, he just stood there infront of you to stare in your eyes as if to see whether you were telling the truth or not. You look up at him, eyes glassy with tears and you knew you probably look really pathetic right now.

Yoongi’s mind was having an inner battle on his own. Was your reasoning the truth? Did you really wanted to say there and accidentally said taehyung? He had all sorts of question clouding his mind but he couldn’t see you standing infront of him sobbing undressed in the cold room looking so pitiful so he follow his heart and grab your arms to pull you towards the closet.

“Put on your clothes.” Yoongi said as he brought you infront of your side of the closet. You shook your head, still crying. Your fingers clutching onto Yoongi’s hand refusing to let him go and Yoongi could only sigh. He hate the fact that his heart still softens for you in this situation. He pull a random oversized tshirt from your closet and put it on you silently. You comply and let him dress you, you were still sniffling softly since you just cried.

After that you and Yoongi both had a long discussion about this whole incident and he told you how it made him felt. Yoongi did end up believing you that you aren’t having an affair behind his back. You promised him it wouldn’t happen again and you made sure his feelings are validated. The next time you told him you were hanging out with Taehyung though, you noticed Yoongi stiffen up slightly but he never try to stop your friendship with Taehyung because Yoongi trusted you.

Author’s note: Did you like the realistic reaction? Y/n is crazy for moaning out another member’s name in the middle of the deeds smh

#bts smut #bts reaction #yoongi smut #bts angst #min yoongi #min yoongi smut #yoongi fic #bts fanfic #bts fic

[bakubitch-minusultra]

Writing Prompts

here is a shit ton of writing prompts(none of which I own). anyone is open to pick any prompts for a headcanon, one shot, or short story. I write for the animes mha, haikyuu, kakegurui and banana fish yeeet

i still dont have a masterlist smh

In a world where you can’t physically hurt your soulmate, you become a serial killer in order to find them

You accidentally kill a person. You instantly absorb all of their memories, intelligence, and talents. You find it feels euphoric and quite addicting

Your father is forcing you to marry someone you have never met. The night before your wedding you tie your sheets together and make your escape through the window. Half way down you make eye contact with someone doing the exact same thing a few windows over

You lost your sight - along with everyone else on earth - in the great blinding. Two years late without warning, your sight returns, as you look around, you realize that every available wall, floor, and surface has been painted with the same message - don't tell them you can see

You just moved to a new neighborhood and you hear the music of an ice cream truck coming down the street. As you and your family walk outside you notice all your neighbors rushing inside and locking their doors and windows

You are starting to get really sick of your cat always knocking stuff out of your hand. Little do you know your spouse is constantly trying to kill you with traps and poison and the cat is saving your life.

Start your story with a sentence that is genuinely happy and upbeat, no double meanings. End it with the same sentence but this time it’s chiling, dark, horrifying etc.

“I don’t sleep. My mind has the scary capability of being dark and demented." “You’re afraid of your dreams?” “Yes,” he said quietly.

When people are born, they are assigned a soulmate. They have an original song in their head that only them and their soulmate know. A person just broke into your house and you’re pretty sure they’re here to murder you. They’re humming your song under their breath

The scarecrow and tinman realise that dorothy has a heart and brain

Out of all possible familiars you are “graced” with a human. While legend says that they are beings of great power, yours just makes sarcastic comments and pranks people

At a party, a round of truth or dare starts, and you’re dared by someone to “go home.” Not one to back down, you comply and leave, though you’re pretty bummed. That is, until the next day you find out everyone at that party died mysteriously. Everyone except the person who dared you to go home.

Long ago the legendary sword excalibur was melted down and lost to history. The mythical blade’s steel ended up in your butter knife, with all its properties intact.

He is a weapon, a killer. Do not forget it. You can use a spear as a walking stick, but that will not change its nature

It’s 3 am and an official phone alert wakes you up. It says “do not look at the moon.” You have hundreds of random numbers sending “It’s a beautiful night tonight. Look outside.”

He pulled against the ropes with all his might, but they wouldn’t give. “Don’t bother,” a voice said. He looked up to discover a thin girl bound with the same rope. Although it was dark, he could see her bruised eyes and bloody wrists. “I already tried”

There is a beautiful statue of a person in the middle of a large city, and the rumor surrounding the statue is that when they touch hands with their soulmate, they will become human. Naturally, it becomes a perfect photo and video opportunity to pose while holding its hand. One cute selfie attempt results in an empty statue podium and you just barely catching a very confused person in your arms.

One night you awake to find yourself in a mysterious forest for what seems like an eternity, you reach an ancient oak at the heart. Upon its bark are carvings of the name of an old forgotten god. The name that's inscribed is yours.

“Don’t ever try to get inside my head,” he snarled, slamming me against the wall. For several beats we stayed there, his grip crushing my wrists. Finally his eyes softened. “It’s too dark for you.”

“What are you doing here??” You push him away. “It’s against the rules!” “Well shit. Rules are meant to be broken, now can I get the kiss I came here for?”

“Who are we to each other?” “You tell me.”

Broken glasses. A crying kiss. Running Water

Barbed wire. A scrap of blue fabric. Howling Winds

A storm. The old oak tree. A scar.

The world goes through 2000 year natural cycles of magic and non-magic. The non-magic cycle is about to end any day now.

A villain kidnaps the hero’s sidekick, only to realize the hero has been badly mistreated by them. And decided to take the sidekick under their wing

Create 10 lovable characters. Kill 9 of them

She wiped the blood from her cheek and picked up her sword. His eyes followed her blade as she pressed it against his neck. “Don’t. Move.”

“Never trust a survivor until you find out what they did to stay alive.”

“There’s only one reason to be singing that song at night”

Legend said her gun was alive. It never missed. It knew your name. And what you’d done. And how afraid you were to die.

“It’s okay,” he said, wrapping his arms around her as she shook with terror. “It’s over now.” “No it’s not,” she whispered back. “It hasn’t even begun.”

“Cookies? You’re bribing me with cookies? I mean, they’re good, but not that good.” “No, we’re bribing you with the antidote. You have three days until the poison kills you. Think about it.”

Be a veterinarian for dragons, they said. It’ll be fun, they said.

Since you're looking I'll put on a show

shopping with your sugar daddy

"Don't say a word, just dance with me."

"The shadows betray you because they serve me."

"Damn right I'm pretty." "I said petty."

"Please don't tell me you're bringing her!" "She's harmless." "She shot you twice!" "It was an honest mistake."

"Dance with me and pretend the world doesnt exist," he pleaded. And after that, there was no going back.

"How dare you! I trusted you!" "Sweet, naive little girl. Trust is for children. You my dear, are a soldier."

Dirt and leaves tangled in your hair as he pushed you to the ground. He pressed his hand over your mouth and whispered, "Hush or they'll hear you."

When she pulled into the driveway she noticed the door was ajar. She wasn't scared until she saw blood on the handle.

----

yee feel free to request any prompt/characters k bye

#writing prompts #mha #bnha #hq #haikyuu #requests #im tired #my back hurts #k bye

[sweetaspiesammy]

Firstly — I love your blog so much 😌 you truly are feeding us the best content 💗💗

a while ago, I saw one of those “stole from OP because they’re a wincest freak” posts (the exact wording is stuck in my head bc it was so mean…I’d never seen posts like that before and I’m still just so baffled at how rude this fandom can be smh), with the concept being “Sam as a true crime lover at some point listens to a podcast and realises he & Dean are the ones who did this particular crime during one of their hunts”

The concept is so fun to me and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. I tried my best to find the original post but was unsuccessful (and naturally didn’t want to reblog something so mean & vicious & stolen) — maybe you or one of your followers knows who the OP was/has the og post?

Thank you so much for being such a positive presence, it’s always such a relief to come back to your blog 🌹🌹

Aw thank you! 💕💕💕

And that sounds really familiar, actually. I think it might’ve been one of the AU’s @peach-hibiscus05 sent me. I’ll try and look for it but tumblr doesn’t cooperate with me often when searching my own tags/for my posts

Although no matter who’s post it is, there’s no need to be stealing it just bc you don’t ship the same thing as the op. No one cares. Saying you stole it and insulting the op is going out of your way to be a dick. And why are they even on wincest blogs in the first place?? Can they not come up with original content so they go to wincest blogs and just steal?? Idk it’s just so weird to me that this is a thing that happens

#asks

[rametarin]

this is not a hot take.

Some Assclown: “You’d agree with the things I say, if not for the fact you know the direction from which what I say comes from when I say them and the inevitable conclusions I reach with from that perspective, when looked at from the mosaic of my beliefs and philosophy! In the absence of knowing who I am and my greater beliefs, you agree with the innocuous seeming statements that I chain with them!”

^ This is not the hot take one would think it is. “Just because I said it, you disagree with me. I bet if someone you LIKED said it or felt that way, you’d agree! >:c. I bet if it was ME that said, ‘food is good and beds are nice,’ you’d disagree!”

Well yes. I could find that disgusting prisonplanet/Paul Joseph Watson twitter account and give you agreeable, benign tweets. Would you still say the things he says are innocuous, or is everything someone like that says to be regarded as a pretense and precursor to ‘alt-right’ nonsense? Can Paul Joseph Watson or Stonetoss even have a “good point” in your eyes, even if the facts cited fly in the face of the values Marxism imposes for you to want to ignore reality or reinterpret it, rather than acknowledge indisputable fact which challenges your philosophy?

I thought as much.

Yes something that sounds good when expressed in Marxist or greater Socialist philosophy might be agreed upon if you remove the Marxist context. Because Marxism doesn’t just take one belief in the absence of the rest, it tries to make everything work in a patchwork that all supports the other and refuses to allow you to even like pudding without also attributing the liking of pudding to one psychosocial philosophical opinion or another.

And the exact sort of people to pout about, “hating something said just because a Marxist said it,” - the EXACT same sort of people to run around SCREEAAAMING about how you can’t, “give a platform for hate speakers.” Even if it’s as simple as, say, some British lady whose work is entirely unrelated to their political, sexual or social views. Hint hint. You hypocritical self-aggrandizing fucks. Even a stupid story about child wizards running around speaking dog Latin code words and being unapologetically British gets shit on if the beliefs of the speaker come from a place Marxists tend to disagree with. So, the speaker of it and greater holder of those beliefs gets cancelled and even the benign statements become flavored and tainted with the dogma of the speaker.

So yes, “From each according to his ability, to each according to his needs” absolutely will be fucking leered at like a benign seeming Nazi platitude, for history has taught us what’s being presented to us when we agree with that particular expression, the sort of person making it and where they would ultimately strong arm you to go if they got close enough. And though it might try and change its image, rebrand, keep derivatives of the same belief structure while pretending to be unrelated, even falsely diametrically opposed and, “wholly new” (it’s not,) distance itself from the family of thought it derived from, it will still be viewed with the unwholesome knowledge that the leopard has not changed its spots. Merely repainted and hoped you won’t notice what it really is. Be it socialism, syndicalism or any of a million “don’t call us Marxists, we’re Spandoolin Anarcho-polyculean economic comradetic primitives :\ smh” copouts.

[kiara-carrera]

I don’t know if you already did this but I’d like to know all the love questions for jj and leah (or as many of the love questions you want to answer) for the ship questions thing. Please!

we're not going to talk about how i scrolled past the list about seven times looking for it on my page smh @ myself. under the cut because i ramble whoops.

1. who said “i love you” first?

okay so i don't have a solid plan in canon because it's all dependent on future seasons, but the way i've always had it in my head is that leah is the first to say it and it doesn't go great because jj kinda clams up (he gets in his head/isn't really great at verbalizing shit sometimes), leah kinda gets embarassed and bolts and they don't talk for like a good two days before they sorta just go "okay that happened moving on" because leah's just like ok ok he's not ready i'm not pushing him and jj kinda feels like he fucked it all up (however when he finally does tell her, it's a very soft moment and leah's heart nearly fucking explodes).

2. what are their primary love languages?

leah's is words of affirmation and jj's is physical touch!

3. who uses cheesy pick-up lines?

jj, like, even before they were dating he'd like jokingly hit on her (it was never serious because it was before feelings, but he's just a lil shit and liked to get her annoyed), but once they're together, he stills whips out super cheesy lines and she's this close to shoving him off the dock at some points.

4. how often do they cuddle/engage in PDA?

in public, it's not a whole ton, mostly because the rest of the pogues are like pls stop (jj honestly doesn't give af and sometimes neither does leah, but she's not super super big on pda aside from like having his arm around her/a few kisses). but when they're alone? if jj had his way he'd be all over her constantly, like he's very much an affectionate attention whore and he is v much a cuddler.

5. who initiates kisses?

jj jj jj jj. literally even their first kiss, it's him making the move and most of the kisses afterwards as well until they sorta hash out exactly what's happening between them.

6. who’s the big and little spoon?

jj will front and act like he's big spoon, but more often than not, he's the little spoon.

7. what are their favorite things to do together?

surfing, swimming, napping, smoking, and skateboarding (part of me wants her to like already know how in my fic, part of me wants to write a lil one shot of him teaching her). jj is also very much down to make out with her basically whenever but leah doesn't count that as like an activity.

8. who’s better at comforting the other?

leah. whether it's patching him up after a fight, talking him down from something ridiculous (most of the time, at least), or just consoling him, she's kinda always had the upper hand. however, he tries his best and honestly does a pretty good job all things considered (he usually is bigger on physical comfort because verbally sometimes he puts his foot in his mouth but it's fine she loves him anyways).

9. who’s more protective?

i think the answer is probably obvious, but it's jj. like we've already seen how protective he is over his friends, so when leah and him get together ... yeah, he'd do just about anything to make sure she's good.

10. do they prefer verbal or physical affection?

jj prefers giving and receiving verbal affection (look, do i think this kid is a lil touch starved? maybe fucking so), but leah's more on the verbal side. however, she does not complain about him being physical at all lmao.

11. what are some songs that apply to their relationship, in-universe or otherwise?

i have a whole ass playlist just for this exact question but the short list

gold rush, taylor swift

look after you, the fray

cloud 9, beach bunny

someone to you, banners

12. what kind of nicknames do they call each other?

honestly they don't really have like specific nicknames that like no one else calls them. jj usually refers to her as lee because he is incapable of just calling her leah and he'll also call her lee lee if he's being a dick because he knows she hates it, but their friends do this as well. his name is already short enough, but sometimes leah calls him j. when they're alone and further in their relationship, he'll probably call her like baby and babe as well, but that's about it.

13. who remembers the little things?

surprisingly, jj. like everyone around them assumes he'd be kinda space-y on shit and that leah would really be the only like remembering all the little details (which she does), but he's surprisingly perceptive and good at remembering things about her. there's a scene i have planned regarding a nervous tick she has and he mentions it casually and it kinda catches her off guard because she didn't think anyone ever noticed but he did. and it's honestly just a situation where it's like...of course he remembered, it's you.

#asks #ship ask game #thank you for asking! #mayson #i love them sm your honor #lovehermioneforever

[laufire]

Supernatural s2

I’m halfway through s3 already (technically a rewatch, but there were episodes I didn’t watch the first time around), so this post is a little overdue lol. At this rhythim the posts will overlap. Plus I’m hoping I can finish s4-5 during the holidays to see the ~intended ending~ before I have to slow down on the binge-watch. After that, a season a month sounds achievable AND won’t take longer than 2021 xD

ANYWAY.

-Overall, I’ve enjoyed it more than the first one, but at the same time I’ve found myself missing how... claustrophobic? Insular? Compact? That one was. s2 was about the world opening up just a little bit more, introducing new characters to the brothers’ life, etc. I do love the detail that this is something that can only have, narratively speaking, once John is dead. Again: this show gets abusive families, consciously or not.

-The foreshadowing is beautifully done. 15 seasons make for a lot of unintentional and ironic foreshadowing later on, I’m sure, but the purposeful foreshadowing is superb this season. About the crossroads deals, of course, but especially about John’s last words. I already knew he’d told Dean he might have to kill Sam (father of the year, seriously. Though I side-eye the fandom even more for always having acted as if this is only awful for Dean lol), so I was hyperaware of every single detail. My favourite moment was the absolute horror of hearing Gordon proudly, cheerfully relate how he murdered his sister when she became a vampire (which, btw, as someone that’s still bitter about what went down with the Gunn siblings on Angel, I found it healing to see something like that treated as a horror story).

-Speaking of Gordon: I unashamedly love his character lmfao. Sterling K. Brown is mesmerizing, always. At the same time, I have serious mixed feelings (especially after seeing his arc in full in s3) because man, if it isn’t a racist mess. I’ve mentioned this before, but it’s not exactly revolutionary that the first time we see the story from the monster’s POV (something I want the show to do! Often!), it’s when white monsters are stalked and brutalized by our first black hunter. Especifically a white woman, btw (although I’m happy to see Tara Maclay as a brunette vampire. I didn’t know I needed that in my life, but I did). And you can tell that the show thinks it’s just so SMART and FUNNY to have a ~racist black hunter!! I mean, the comment about how psychic kids would be “betraying their race” if they allied with demons?? FFS.

And ofc there’s the fact that he’s condemned for the exact same type of stuff that makes Dean be hailed as a hero lmfao. Though I won’t like, I love the moment where, faced with the comparison, Dean’s response is “I might be like you, I might not. But you’re the one tied up.” I love those kinds of character moments. As of s2 I officially have a love-hate relationship with Dean Winchester, I hate it here xDD

But still, on his own, Gordon is an amazing character (it’s one of the most frustrating things about the show, the greatness tainted by the bigotry :))). Charismatic, terrifying, and ofc superbly acted. Also, I love that the fact that he praised John (as opposed to every other hunter having a rockier relationship with him) is clearly supposed to be a red flag LMFAO.

-I enjoy how the seasons delves more deeply into Sam’s ~~dark origins, since it was my fave thing about him way back when. I’m already mourning the (as I suspect) lost of his powers, ngl. There’s a little more attention in how he tends to over-identify with supernatural creatures struggling with their ~dark sides too (bitch me too, the fuck xD), which I LOVE to see (among other reasons because at least in that way we get a little of their POV in the forefront lol). One of my favourites in that sense was the episode centered around the ghost-who-didn’t-know-she-was-ghost, played by Tricia Helfer. I clocked early one what was going on, but it was still very enjoyable, especially with Sam’s empathy with her (contrasted by Dean being a total bitch about it, btw. I can’t believe I still see post about how Dean is all heart/kindness/compassion/whatever the fuck. Dean is all about selective empathy and only when it conveniences him, pls).

I was more divided on the episode with Madison the werewolf, tbh. OTOH it put Sam in a better position, for a change xD. As the one willing to make The Hard Choices by fulfilling his promise to kill her because she was dangerous, even when Dean offered to ~take the burden from him. OTOH I hate that kind of thing lol. YOU GUYS KNOW A HUNTER PRO LIKE BOBBY, I BET HE COULD’VE FIGURED OUT SOMETHING TO CONTAIN HER A FEW NIGHTS A MONTH. Also, my immediate reaction was to compare this to when my man Angel had a crush on a werelady and helped her every month lmfao. But then, very few characters can withstand a comparison with Angel, in any sense :P

I also liked Sam’s subplot with his fellow demon-psychic kids, though I wish it’d lasted longer :/ (also: RME at the queer girl dying almost immediately AND her power being killing people, her girlfriend first of all, with her touch. The black guy was the last one to die at least...?). My fave was Ava, by far. I loved her since her reaction to helping Sam stealing a psychiatrist’s records was yelling “I’M AWESOME!!”. It made it easy to buy that someone that appeared so mundane, with her easy life and her fiance and whatnot, would become so power hungry and go off the rails, IMO.

BTW: RME at Dean being all “oh Sam is going too dark/becoming to cold” when Sam kills Jake. Jake ripped off his spine and killed him first!! It both amuses me and infuriates me all the times Dean tries to push Sam to be more like himself and then freaks out whenever Sam is not all sunshine and rainbows (while still remaining, IMO, far less cold than Dean himself. Besides, it’s not easy to be colder than Dean, lol).

Lastly, a little character detail I loved was when Sam was jealous about Dean being in the federal database but not himself lmfao. 

-I loved the new foreshadowing crumb with Sam finding out Mary knew the demon, too (information he’ll withhold from Dean, which I approve of LOL). I mean, I know exactly what’s up, I’ve watched most of s4 xD (also, what is UP with this family and making deals with demons. Everyone but Sam so far!! And then HE gets dragged for ~getting too close to one smh. Maybe lead by example!! Also also: yes, it was meant to be ambiguous, but I can’t help but notice the only kiss-pact -or further, depending to how close YED was to Lilith’s levels, since to make a deal with her you have to fuck xD- we didn’t see was the one that must’ve happened between John and YED. Cowards!! xD). Still. I’m so curious about her. Her resurrection is one of the main reasons I’m determined to make it to the later seasons, ngl.

-Another thing I LOVED about this season is how they used sibling relationships to parallel/foreshadow stuff about the brothers, the way s1 did often with fathers. I’ve already mentioned Gordon and his sister, but the others are not less brutal imo: Andy having to kill his evil twin, who wanted him all for himself (... Dean is that you xD); the little girl’s ghost who wanted her grand-niece to commit suicide to stay with her, and didn’t give in until her old sister agreed to die in her place. It was chilling. Also, at one point the parallel was between the brothers and a married couple (the ghost-who-didn’t-know-she-was-a-ghost) and asñdlfkajsf. I’m guessing they had fun with the shippers lol.

Speaking of the brothers’ relationship, this season also goes a little further in escalating the violence between them, when Dean punches Sam in the face and he refuses to respond (“you can hit me all you want, it won’t change anything”. Fuck), or when Dean again punches Sam after Sam was possessed by Meg ¬¬

-Going back to my love-hate relationship with Dean, lmfao. My biggest beef remains how much validation his POV gets from the narrative, granted or not; he’s one of the most irritating cases of protagonist-centered morality and I know it’s only going to get worse smh. At least this season it feels a little more balanced than in s1, with episodes like the one where the civilian Sam had tried to keep away dies halfway through the ep because Dean allowed him to get involved, for example. Still, it grates on me xD. The continuing prison rape jokes/demonic possession rape jokes (with Meg and Sam), his general grossness with women and his lack of sympathy for non-humans even when they’re not trying to hurt anyone don’t exactly help. Also, I often see him praised for some of his political views, a lot of which I agree with (his mistrust of cops, saying convicts don’t deserve to die no matter what they do), but when contrasted with his general attitude across the show it’s really grating ngl.

But then he has such AMAZING character details thrown in, that make me appreciate him as a POV character nonetheless, as much as I often want to curb stomp the guy xD. I loved his speech about how there’s no such thing as a dignified death. I love how he refused to come near his mother’s grave, both at the beginning and at the end of the episode (this show is like, the cure to DCCW’s shows false fuzzy sentimentality istg). I love his pop-culture references, like when Sam mentions Dean always thought OJ was the murderer or Dean jokes about freeing Katie Holmes from Scientology’s cult xD (sometimes it really hits you how old this show is lol). I enjoyed his Wishverse episode, and his lines after Sam dies/he sells his soul to save him (“I had one job”, “my life can mean something”) hit HARD.

But most of all? I LOVE how and why he starts losing respect for John. It’s so fucking cold and abrupt and makes so much sense!! Like, yes, part of it is John’s message about killing Sam (... again, father of the year!), but most of all it’s about John making a pact with a demon and dying TO SAVE DEAN (and probably, simply that he died at all. That shit de-mystifies anyone). IT’S SO FUCKING GREAT TO WATCH. “He spent his life chasing that demon. He was supposed to die fighting, not making a deal with the damn thing. That was supposed to be his legacy, not this." Damn, Dean xDD. The *contempt* with which he said that killed me.

I also love his inherently atheist vision of the world (even if yes, it’s extremely funny knowing this show has canon God and angels and shit -no Jesus Christ though, which I find endlessly funny-, or that they actually meet the archangel Gabriel in disguise xD. Either way, the episode with the fake angel and its foreshadowing was hilarious), his anti-destiny stance, and that it’s him and not John who gets to kill YED.

-I liked Ellen and Jo. Not LOVED, but I liked them. I keep fearing that secondary (especially female) characters will feel empty/shallow but the show keeps proving me wrong, even with one-episode wonders, and at first I wasn’t sure about them, but I was sold quickly. Partially because of the actresses, they both had this... humanizing, endearing quality? It worked really well.  I also loved the explicit contrast between John and Ellen’s parenting styles, with Ellen wanting Jo to return to school and be safe from the hunt, and Jo wanting something different. Also, I wouldn’t ship it if you paid me, but LOL at anyone who actually buys Dean sees Jo as a ~little sister just because MEG said that rme.

This show is just REALLY good when it comes to giving depth to a character with only a couple of brush strokes, which makes it all the more frustrating when they abruptly die or disappear to never be seen again/only once more (to abruptly die!) :)))

I was less sold on Ash; he was amusing, but having a Genius Hacker TM helping them out seemed like the beginning of increasingly giving the brothers ways of deux ex machina-ing them out of problems, when one of my favourite things about the show is seeing them creatively find ways out themselves. I like when they’re competent! Like with the multitude of codes they have to improvise plans, like in the episode where with two words through a lawyer they implemented a quick scheme so that Sam would escape from a police precinct. I like that stuff.

-I’m still so bitterly jealous about the dead man’s blood hurting vampires detail. SO BITTERLY JEALOUS. I love a lot of what this show does with its lore but that little bit is the worst offender. I want it so bad xD

#talking to the void #my thoughts #spn thoughts #supernatural #sam winchester #dean winchester #gordon walker #ellen harvelle #jo harvelle #spn s2 #the winchesters get to have a tag I GUESS

[lordxgrinnyxboy]

rewatching The Grinning Man once again,,2am edition,,just through Beauty and the Beast bc i had to give up and go to bed. @past me you really thought you were gonna. ha. haha. who ever said you’re not a funny clown.

‘ye gods’ is fully a tagphrase of barkilphedro’s. bc saying it at least twice makes it definitely a Thing.

josiana says Bark looks like a...~bug~...and ngl the cut of his coat + those limp antenna things on his hat do actually kinda create that effect. they really did make him look like a skittering creature

accidentally paused at such a moment where his head is angled just so and it’s so weird bc u can’t see the paint on his nose at this angle what

i could play barkilphedro. it would be a ghastly shame but i. no. i could though. no i couldn’t. but

everything bark says just sounds very...Like That.

gonna start doing eye makeup like bark’s

i have so many feelings about the fact that Mr. Maskell’s ensemble(?) character and Ms. Obianyo’s ensemble character stand beside each other for this scene

au where Gwyn’s mom lives and the two of them work as performers

no but fully that Green Cowl but also like. Ms. Obianyo’s entire outfit??? that is a Fantastic Look right There right There.

i like how Bark points at an audience member when he says “whose life is even worse than yours”

okay so the mist that comes up when Bark first says “laughter is the best medicine” plus the way Ms. Obianyo’s ensemble character Looks At Him plus the way Ms. Obianyo’s Ensemble Character and Mr. Maskell’s Ensemble Character stand next to each other plus the fact that this is all Barkilphedro telling the story of events he perpetrated and whatnot just generally the whole look of the bit gives me Feelings like these particular two ensemble characters are almost sort of the ghosts of Gwyn’s mom and kinda sorta who Gwyn could’ve been but also not but also Kinda

i’m just so very emotional and love seeing these two together they look amazing and i love them DX

Josiana’s Introduction/Portrait dress looks fantastic and im mad she doesn’t get to keep it

London!Jojo’s costume is better

genuinely still can’t believe Clarence is Ursus

but it’s kinda ironic tho since it’s by Clarence’s orders that Bark was ever in the situation where ‘hmm guess i havvvve to mutilate this kid’s face lol, that’s too bad” was a thought htat occurred to him so i mean both of Ursus’ characters had a hand in what happened

clarence is like “look at my unhappy children/what a tonic for my pain” ursus is like “...” and dea’s like “look at your unhappy children father i dare u”

the lords on palace hill are a gift

Ms. Brisson is just a truly adorable individual i love her ensemble character

also the material on the sort of dress/aprons the Lords wear? the print kind of looks like a map to me but idk if that’s what it is?

Osric’s “Welcome to the Stokes-Croft Faire” is like. one of the top 10 most iconic moments of the show for me negl. maybe even top 5. It’s got this particular energy i can’t describe but it’s So Good

i feel like in this scene like the top half of Mr. Maskell’s face is painted white(er) which looks fabulous once the bandages + cowl are added like heavens above but also with the whole “ooooh that’s the ghost of pre-barkilphedro!Gwynplaine” angle it’s interesting w/how Jojo’s got that bit of white paint/powder as well and it looks like Dirry-Moir’s whole face is painted at least for this number like Ooooh Is That A Lord Thing idk but it’s a Vibe

i once again think it’s interesting that it’s the actors for Angelica and Jojo who are in the picture frame for “Chained Beasts Fighting” considering how Jojo and Angelica seem to for real not get along so well during the play’s events

i’ve another theory abt mr. hubert

bark’s really like all up on Mr Maskensemblecharacter for the “stab an old man with a needle” bit.

i’ve tried so hard to figure out what the heck that could mean but all i can find is “they’re probably referring to murdering ppl with hat pins” u-u

yo the artwork on the walls behind them Wowie

gosh i love Osric

the little dance thing they do after “I’ve got the misery” is something i yearn for like. pls.

idk if anyone gets more into that last Laughter is the Best Medicine choreo than mr. Dirry-Moir like. he is positively Aggressive with it

the drum or whatever makes that little repeating like, three-point, one-two-three over and over toward the peak of this song is like. i don’t know what i was about to say but I Like This Part Of The Song Even Though It Is Very Stressful And Intense

idk man gwyn just looks Really Good when ursus pulls back that curtain like idk if it’s the way he’s standing or the way he’s moving however slightly or what he’s doing with his hands but like. A+ Gwynlit you look fantastic right here

i like how initially he looks just at Ursus but then kind of looks directly into the camera. sort of fancy the notion that in order to get through shows Gwyn’s kind of particular about where he looks and will try to focus on Ursus and Dea as much as possible but otherwise kind of just tries to not really See the audience maybe or something

oh hey that’s Born Broken that’s music boxing hangon lemme go back what plays for

i don’t reckona- give me a minute - i don’t. recognize. there we go. the music box sound that  plays for gwyn

dea is So Pretty

“I shall put my money where my mouth is” dirry-moir that is a most unfortunate turn of phrase

ngl gwyn always looks like he’s having a good time doing up the Drama for his act as Clarence

shadow!gwyn’s hair is next level kinds of floofy magnificence

even his bandages look amazing

“Sonny” :}

no but when Gwyn walks little puppet!Gwyn up the ramp to the ship but Dea’s helping and so they wind up standing Very Close and there’s Height Difference i’m sorry but they are Adorable

i reall like the ocean effect they do

Dea’s cowl look is Exquisite

can’t actually remember for real for real but i’m fairly confident that Mr. Maskell’s “MOTHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER MOTHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER” was at least 67% of what initially forced me to fall in love with this show so Thank You Mr. Maskell For That

the cowl + bandages just looks so good i don’t know what to say. that’s a Look right there. the eye makeup? the hair? The Bandages and Cowl? I’m sorry who says this is not a handsome boy?

he looks amzing

puppet!gwyn constantly looks like he’s got one eyebrow raised thanks to how the eye area is carved

i want to know how Ursus thought he wasn’t going to wind up with a couple of the most dramatic chidlren on the earth like when did he think there was a chance they wouldn’t both turn out Dramatic

high note hazlit has arrived

i wish that in the Osric Raises Gwyn au there was some way for Osric to meet like Ghost!Hazlit or i don’t even know but. they need. to meet each other.

Osric’s got vibes and i don’t know what they are but they’re so powerful and they move me to intense affection

it’s Ridiculously Tall-looking Gwyn time. he goes to stand up straight and keeps on Extending

he really just keeps his eyes on the puppet at all times tho

“your little hat can find out what it means” i know he said ‘heart’ but he said ‘hat’ gwyn needs a hat send tweet

book gwyn got to have a hat

don’t worry gwynlit osric’s gonna take care of that in the au

dea’s so cute

so when Ursus says “for certain, it would be no man” is that like a heads-up that they changed the wolf’s name bc now it isn’t Homo anymore or

it’s 3am now and im only 20 minutes in help me dea

forearms

the “No” “Yes, yes” when Ursus first gives him the Crimson Lethe kills me every single time bro.

how long is this post do i need to shut up yet

i’ve babbled for longer before i think we’re good

And Ursus Gave The Boy A Name. A Cruel Name. A Name That Means “Wow That Debilitating Wound Carved Into Your Actual Face Must Hurt Pretty Bad Huh Kidlet”

arms

still mad about the fact that Ursus mentions “Melt into mist/no longer exist” and Barkilphedro uses those Exact Words

i always assume they’re talkin about going to Murca but i mean technically anywhere could be the ‘new world’ huh

forearm

see the one thing i

when he says “we’ll come back to the place where once we were lost in the snow” now im thinking about adult!lord!Gwyn revisiting like. the actual place. where it all Happened like. imagine adult!Gwyn going back to the gallows-site and just.

under angelica’s reign it’s probably converted into a memorial instead ofc and is no longer a gallows-site but still

puppet!Dea doesn’t wear shoes

when puppet!Dea first goes “Mojo?” puppet!Gwyn kinda reaches toward her for a sec like he’s Concerned

Dirry-Moir waving at Dea like he’s trying to figure if she really is blind smh

cowl gwyn is such a phenomenal look

GWYN DOES THE FOOT WIGGLE DURING THE BEAUTY AND THE BEAST SCENE I JUST NOW NOTICED

HIS FOOT IS ACTUALLY FLAT ON THE GROUND SO INSTEAD OF IT BEING A LITTLE HEEL SHAKE IT’S MORE LIKE A LIL ANKLE TWISTY BUT. !!

puppet!Gwyn fiddles with his shirt/vest a lot

forearm

the lil motion with his head after the Kiss tho rlly does look suspicious like the “twinge (of unspeakable agony)” motion tho

love how Osric just runs along to go with to see the rest of the show like. he’s into it.

[lesyah]

guardian stream of consciousness watchthrough ep. 29

HAHAHAHA

zhao yunlan saying it’s all thanks to shen wei using a landline LMAOOO

His phone took that picture so slow

Lol they stole the car?????? Wtf?

She’s like “it’s here, I have the key, it’s mine”

I’m sorry that car has been there this whole time??? Or this dude really knew that the flower fell off in that exact spot? Either way. Confused.

How did it suddenly become night???????!!!!!!

The way that man ran up lol

Why is papa zhao the way that he is

I get so impatient when things get intense. I get stressed and am just like LETS GOOOO

The flashbacks really slow it down 😫😫

“That brat will not come”

Excuse me? He is trying so hard. Take that back

“He’s just an old crappy man” LMAO

He blames papa zhao for her death because he was DYING and ALSO needed a blood transfusion??!!!!!!!! Are you KIDDING?!!!!?!!?!!

WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This guy needs to RELAX!!!!!

Wait

Hold on

Did this dude

Just say

What I think he said

“Does he deserve to be a son of mine?”

Uh—

I’m sorry

I’m SORRY???????

ARE YOU KIDDING ME RN!!!!!!!!!

Chu shuzhi watching like “ur next papa zhao”

Bro I’m so pissed

WHAAAAAAT!!!!!!!

WHAT WHAT WHAT!!!!!

HE DID NOT

JUST SAY

THAT HE REGRETS THAT ZHAO YUNLAN LIVED INSTEAD OF HIS WIFE

WHAT

THERE ARE NO WORDS

THAT ENCOMPASS THE RAGE I AM FEELING!!!!!!!!!

I don’t care if this ends up being some ploy to save him or it’s his other personality or whatever. No excuse. That is the rudest thing ever and I hate it so much.

I’m gonna explode

Someone bring me a cold compress

Omg his face was so sad

I literally don’t care if he was doing it to save him that was so rude

He’s like “now I’m gonna die for you out of spite” LOL

How are you gonna kill zyl when shen wei is standing right there

Bro he tried to give the blood to the wife smh

Why didn’t the doctor tell him that in the first place?????????

Chu shuzhi stroking guo changchengs hair as he looks at him fondly...........thoughts to think rn

Da qing jumping onto the table when the ground shook lol

Oop

Ye zun is comin

Ew he looks so creepy!!!!!!

Rip to the rushed goodbye between shen wei and zyl

This thing is GROSS

And why does it look like shen wei

And why is everything so sus

HE KILLED THE OLD MAN????? THE CHAIR!!!!!!

The pillar being like “I can’t wait to see shen wei” same

Ok babe, the fact that the dude was killed by an undergrounder was very significant information that you left out for waaaaay too long

Wtf

HIS DYING WORDS WERE DONT LET SHA YA LIVE RESENTFULLY??????

And what did she do?

She proceeded to let sha ya live resentfully.

Smh.

Can’t trust anybody these days

So much serious stuff is happening rn I don’t have time to listen to her sob story on why she was wrong the entire time like she would have been in the right if she knew the whole story!!!!!!!!

Doesn’t change anything sha ya!!!!!

And I don’t feel bad for u!!!!!!!

#guardian #guardian watchthrough #shen wei #zhao yunlan #da qing #zhu hong #guo chengchang #chu shuzhi #lin jing #mypost

[shibalen]

Hi! I’m so sorry about the earlier request! I misread the rules (._. ) I’d like to request from Akatsuki No Yona and Haikyuu. I prefer a romantic type of matchup. I’m a Capricorn and infp. I have a fairly large social circle and quite talkative with others. But there are times I prefer my own time and silence. I trust people easily and am loyal to my friends. I’m a left hander. My hobbies are writing, reading and watching anime. I listen to various types of music. It depends on my mood. (😁)

I’m a literature student and love to learn about technology. I have three cats and one dog. I adore animals, even insects but not spiders XD. I like dark colours and dark themed movies and stories. My ideal type of date is chilling inside a cafe or walking along a forest or a silent place talking with each other. I’m into carefree guys who get serious in the time of need. (😁)

The type of a guy who would dance around with me in the kitchen and jam to songs with me in the car and also be there when I have a breakdown. I’m an impatient fellow and tend to lose my focus easily. I’d like to request music box and dark box uwu. That’s it! Thanks! And sorry again for the earlier request! Love your blog! (😁)

♡︎ matchup for 😁anon

heya howdy doodle doo! how're you? i hope you didn't get too tired of waiting and actually see this. hehe. i gave these results lots of thought so i'm happy if you like them too!

akatsuki no yona: i match you with . . .

jae-ha !!

• you guys match so well i can't— your zodiacs, mbti, personality and your type of person are simply pointing at Jae-ha with a big red arrow!

• Jae-ha is chill and social by nature. that paired with your love for talking with people makes you a really social couple. i can easily picture the two of you being the life of most conversations.

• also when there's a crisis or any more serious situation going on you're both usually the ones to calm others down. your presence makes them feel at ease and honestly Jae-ha admires that so much in you ♡︎

• he knows he can trust you with his burdens and count on you to be there for him. he may not always voice them out loud but you know he needs your comfort when he silently lays his head on your shoulder.

• of course this goes both ways and he will never let you be alone during a breakdown. somehow he always finds the right things to say or do to help you find yourself again. his voice is deep and soothing and he will happily put it to use if it makes you feel at ease.

• though he does have a sharper intuition when it comes to strangers and therefore makes sure nobody takes advantage of you. however there was definitely one time where he let you buy something extremely overpriced just to tease you about it later

• the worse the scam the more poisonous the words he speaks to them with that lazy smile. then he escorts you away while waving a hand.

• "you have to be more careful, flower. i don't want some guy eventually making you give your heart away too, " he flirts

• "too late," you respond. "this one green-haired guy with stupid jokes already has it."

• BOOM

• ahem.

• at first you thought he was the worst case of a womanizer, and you preferred your possible partner to reciprocate your loyalty. unfortunately otherwise he was just your type so you couldn't help but be drawn to him.

• Jae-ha was attracted to you too from your smart and fun personality to your hobbies and taste in music. he loved how you stood your ground yet how flexible you were with your likes.

• obviously he didn't give up on you despite your little façade. he proved his loyalty runs deeper than most when he's fallen for the right person. you're his special, dear person and won't let anything or anyone come between that.

• will wear matching dark outfits with you! claims it's not his style but likes it surprisingly a lot. you might do ridiculous poses just to embarrass Hak.

• can be heckin annoying when it comes to your writing though. "are you going to write me into your story? of course you are ;)" "is the main character me?" don't get him wrong, he adores your writing and that's why he gets so excited about it. other times he does it on purpose to get your attention smh

• overall, light-headed teasing is something he will always do just to see you flustered. it's so adorable he can't help it. leaning in extra close to you while you're cooking together, highkey boasting about you to his friends, starting and winking at you, plus all sorts of cheesy one-liners.

• but Jae-ha is smart and knows when to give you space. when you're ready to interact again he's already prepared for a date!

• Jae-ha is romantic even on daily basis, bringing you flowers or small trinkets that he knows you like. just seeing you smile at his loving gestures makes his cheeks warm and heart beat fast (though he tries not to show it)

• please listen to him playing the erhu, he does it especially for you. when you're out on a rooftop on a moonlit night he'll serenade you with his songs.

• your dates include: walks around the outskirts of towns, moongazing, him leaping through the sky with you securely in his arms, dinner at different inns and travens with music and parties or by a bonfine and you two just being silly. also creative activities like pottery and sketching ♡︎

❦︎ ink box

— this happened before your relationship even started, back when Jae-ha first realised his feelings for you.

— you wouldn't expect it, but he struggled with these emotions a lot. this was the first time he had ever felt this way towards anybody, after all. his natural reaction was to distance himself from you because he was scared, whether he admitted it to himself or not.

— he was afraid of being tied down and tying you down. he knew love required commitment and you valued loyalty. he dreaded he wouldn't be good enough for you, instead becoming the source of your pain. you deserved much more than he was, and he was a coward.

— there was also the problem of putting you in danger because of the group's mission. any injury you'd get would be his fault and that was too much a thought to bare.

— he thought he was being smooth avoiding you, preparing for his leave without hurting you. he thought. but you were smarter, you knew Jae-ha was kind. he wouldn't do this to hurt you—not after all those fun memories you'd made together!

— refusing to beat around the bush, you tried confronting him. however, by that time he'd already set out to the next destination. he had left, without a word of goodbye.

— thankfully, Zeno was the quickest to notice Jae-ha's broken demeanor. it was heartbreak which he himself knew too well. he pulled the green dragon aside the next evening as they were gathering wood and stubly hinted Jae-ha shouldn't do anything he would regret for the rest of his life.

— the rest of the gang was quick to join after Kija happened to overhear the conversation. they all (even Ao) swore to take care of you if Jae-ha wouldn't be able to.

— you were halfway up the mountain chasing after him when Jae-ha landed directly in front of you. he was out of breath and dishevelled but the desperate glint in his eye shone brighter than any star in the sky.

— you embraced and shared a sweet kiss under the night sky. he apologised more times than you could count but after almost shattering your heart you didn't let him off the hook that easily. well, he had the rest of his life with you to make it up to you ♡︎

♡︎ runner up: Hak

⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

haikyuu: i match you with . . .

rintaro suna !!

• Suna is a little different from the previous match but my instincts told me to put you together regardless! i think your personalities balance each other out while sharing the same core basics.

• you're both laid-back and have no problems interacting with people but still like your alone time. as in infp you seek new knowledge and Suna, being the smartass he is, will never bore you. he can be both silent and talkative, whichever you prefer.

• will definitely join you in being social but in a subtle way. he'll stand/sit next to you with an arm around you while you're talking to your friends. really chill but also knows how to hold a conversation and chime in with a clever comment.

• once he notices you becoming tired he casually steers you away from the rest, saying you two have to go now. how is this guy so smooth? really though he just wants to be alone together with you.

• you guys met when your social groups came together. it's that 'friend of a friend of a friend' chain and thus somehow you ended up going to one of his games because a person you knew didn't want to go alone.

• they knew Kita so y'all went to congratulate him on the win later. he then introduced you the team and therefore, of course, Suna.

• you thought he was pretty and you chatted a bit but nothing much happened. it was through these continuous meetings afterward that eventually pshed you two together ♡︎

• you had so much to talk about! stories, technology, hobbies, music, a little gossip. he liked how opinionated you were and how much you knew, then found it amusing how easily distracted you got.

• his advances were really subtle yet continuous and efficient! though some of them were kind of teasing. made sure you were comfortable with your friendship first before stating his exact feelings for you.

• Suna isn't afraid of pda and if you are too, he'll be holding your hand, having you sit on his lap, giving you kisses on your face and hand. yet although others mifht see, it feels as though every touch is a secret language meant for bust the two of you.

• his advice is quite blunt but he does it out of love, plus his actions are much softer and really patient when you're at rock-bottom. i assure you anyone neglecting your feelings is not safe.

• you're both into dark-themed stuff! y'all go to movies, festivals, bookshops and alike looking so hella aesthetic, i swear. what a beautiful couple (☆ω☆)

• your pets love Suna after they've gotten used to him. sometimes when he comes over the cats will come chill around him. it's like he's one of them and it's hilarious. you have a bunch of pictures on your phone of him and your dog.

• you like showing those photos off to his teammates because they're just that good, but instead of getting embarrassed Suna will either just agree or jokingly ask why haven't you made it your background yet.

• overtime he's learnt how to keep your focus from going too astray, though you can't say he's always vigilant himself. he slacks off during boring lectures and would much rather talk to you. the teacher had to seperate you pfft—

• can and will jam to all times of music with you in the kitchen, even if just ironically. one time his little sister caught the two of you vibing to an opera preformance and homeboy just shrugged it off and continued because you both thought it was funny.

• your dates include: going on hikes especially after a stressful period (Suna most definitely did not look up the best places near your home and prepared your favorite snacks), cat cafés, staying at home and cooking a meal cause this boy probably only knows how to pour water over noodles, and long drives and blasting music ♡︎

♫︎ music box

— I Wanna Be Yours by Arctic Monkeys

— Caroline by Crash Adams

— Blinding Lights by The Weekend

— Your Dog Loves You by Colde

— Hey Boy by Sia (what you'd jokingly lip-sync to for him)

♡︎ runner up: Atsumu Miya

thank you so much for requesting and i apologise for the huge delay (ಥ﹏ಥ) still, i hope you enjoyed! have a lovely day and please stay safe ♡︎

#len's matches #matchups #😁anon #haikyuu matchups #akayona matchups

[many-gay-magpies]

Smh i should really stop talking to my mom about anxiety/mental stuff because every time it only makes me feel worse

I love my mom a lot but like . sometimes there are just things that get on my nerves even though i love her. I kinda feel bad because like she tries so hard to understand and says she understands and I know she DOES to a degree so I feel bad for lowkey thinking like the whiny teenager all like "yOu DoN't UnDeRsTaNd Me" sometimes, y'know? Like the bottom line is our brains just work really really differently a lot of the time and she either wants to believe or genuinely believes that they dont

Every time I talk to her about my (non-clinical, probably) anxiety and what caused it (this girl bullying me for six years) she goes on to mention all the ways she was bullied as a kid and all the terrible shit she's gone through to say in the end "so I understand" when like all of that shit is way different from my experience so every time she says it inside I'm just like "yes but actually no"

Like, today i was talking about my bully to her and how I've started realizing that all my responses now are responses i was forced to give as a kid because of the situation i was in with my bully, and she went in depth and told me (all stuff she had already told me about before and also when i had been talking about my anxiety stuffs before) about how her mom forced her to sleep in curlers so she would have banana curls and made her wear dresses and how she got mugged really bad when she was older and all this stuff that is very valid trauma and sucks ass and i thank her for trying to understand me but at the same time all the shit that happened to her was surface level. Neither of us could control what was happening to us, because her mom made her dress like that and I couldn't just make this girl suddenly not have issues, but like a dress is still something you can change??? Take off??? Like it isnt attatched to you as a person. I cant change the fact that i exist, which this girl bullying me apparently hated me for. To her my existence was just like "oh i must hurt this person" not because of what i wore, what i looked like, etc etc.

She also kept subtly bringing up the fact that i had never been PHYSICALLY hurt by my bully and implying that because she HAD her pain was worse and i could have had it worse if my bully physically hurt me and ACTED on the threats to hurt me (which my mom's bullies did) and while yes that was true . My bully didn't threaten to physically hurt me at all so there were no threats TO act on she just talked to me like i was shit all the time and beat my self esteem about my personality into a meaningless pulp . I kind of wanted to scream in my moms face "YOUR PAIN WAS MOSTLY PHYSICAL WHILE MINE WAS EMOTIONAL, BOTH ARE VALID AND DIFFERENT" but i know she does know that-- but maybe it would have gotten the point across idk

I wish so badly that i could just tell my mom "I dont want/need you to understand, i just need you to be here" and like i could but . I'm not there yet

(Warning ahead, I'm sorry if this gets really long but like I wanna get it off my chest before i go to sleep bcs i feel like ill sleep better if i do)

Another thing that annoys me is that??? Every time??? I say something??? Or tell her how I'm feeling at the moment??? She just asks me??? "Why?"??? And yes its good to talk about stuff but I'm trying to explain to you in a polite way why i want to leave the conversation and that its making me uncomfortable and i just want to go to bed and you just go "but why are you uncomfortable?" Or like if i tell her I'm upset and i want to stop talking about it she goes "why are you upset? I dont want you to be upset" and I'm just. I literally just said i dont want to talk about this anymore can i please leave you cant control that I'm upset about this because continuing talking to you is just going to make me more upset because no matter what way i try to explain it i cant get my points across right to you and i dont want to say you dont understand bcs thats immature but you kind of dont understand

I want to tell her "This conversation isnt having the outcome i wanted it to have and i want to leave it before it makes me more upset so that i can go think on it for later" but I'm sure if i do. that shed just go "but WHY arent you happy with the conversation tell me so i can fix it" and if i tell her blatantly what is making me unhappy (the fact that she keeps saying she understands and pouring stories of her traumas onto me to "prove" that she understands) then she's going to guilt trip me when were talking in the future by emphasizing the fact that i dont like when she talks a certain way and be all like "oh i wont tell you about my OWN experiences though because you said you don't LIKE when I DO that" and i just hhhhhh

Like every time i tell her she doesnt understand and try to explain it in a way that she WILL and it'll finally click it just. Doesn't and it makes me feel so defeated because every time i do that she just circles back around to "well i experienced all these types of trauma so i totally understand" and i appreciate the effort but that just isnt the kind of support i needed to make me feel content

And also when i was talking to her tonight i told her about a specific instance that happened in like 1rst or 4th grade where I was crying because the girl bullying me was just in one of those. Bad Moods™ where like she hated me for existing and talked to me like i was a piece of trash she had stepped in or smth and then she and a couple other kids asked me WHY I WAS CRYING and I didn't want to tell her "hey I'm crying because you keep hurting me and i dont want you to" because if i said that she would just hurt me MORE so i made up a lie on the spot and said that my parents had a small argument (I'm a sensitive kid and will cry at the barest hint of conflict between my parents so it checked out) and i was crying because of it and . Out of that ENTIRE STORY the one thing my mom zeroed in on was the fact that i told a lie that "painted my parents in a bad light"

Just. Like. Yeah. It did. But I wasn't even thinking about that at the moment?? Like it didn't even cross my mind??? The only thing i was thinking about was that i was scared and in danger and i probably would have said anything to get OUT of that danger (as fake or ill-perceived it might have been). But no, even later on after i had explained that in basically those exact words she still went back around to say "oh if it was bad enough that you told a lie about your parents to get out of it then she REALLY fucked you up"

Which??? By the way??? Is a whole other reason why i try not to talk to my mom about this shit??? Because every time i open up about it and want to have a conversation in a more logical/organized/"well here's the situation and here's what we can do about it" kind of way she always turns it around and says stuff like "damn [REDACTED] really fucked you up didn't she" and "I didn't know it was that bad"/"I didn't know it effected you that bad, you should have said something!" which. Makes me Feel Bad™, for some reason way more than my dad excitedly talking about reptile and monkey brains and how stuff that happened to us in the past is engrained into our brain and still effects us now, like instinct

She also always turns all of my stuff talking about emotions into "oh you're just a teenager" "you're pms'ing" "you'll grow out of it later"

Like one time i told her that her mind was always in the past or the future, always worrying about the past or the future, never in the present, in response to her worrying a bunch about something and how i had my mind in the present more often and her response was something along the lines of "well you're like that because you're young and a teenager, you CAN stay thinking in the present because you dont have all that stuff to worry about like an adult does, I'm an adult and i work a bunch so i constantly have stuff to worry about" and like. Yeah theres some solidity to that. But also i literally talked about that exact thing with my dad and HE said her brain was always in the past/future and never the present so I'm pretty sure its not just a teen vs adult thing

And then towards the end of this whole thing when i had finally managed to tell her "hey I'm uncomfortable in this conversation can i please leave and go to bed" and even further explained that it was because i went into this wanting to have a more casual/logic-based talk rather than an emotional discussion and . she's kind of of the mind that "why did you bring it up if you didn't want to have a deep emotional discussion about it" and I'm just HHHNNNNGGGG but also i actually DIDNT mention it, first i was mentioning how id been having sensory overload lately and how certain sounds of words hurt and then she said i should have a doctor check that out and then i said "I've been reading up on anxiety and sensory overload is a part of that so i figured that's just what it was" (bcs my dad gets sensory overload a lot too) which then ensued a ten-minute conversation about how i probably dont have clinical anxiety because mine isnt as bad as/like all the many, many people my mom has known who DO have it (throughout which i kept trying to tell her "just social anxiety exists too tho" to which she would respond "yea but u dont have these symptoms of general anxiety so i dont think u have it" and while i hope and think i dont i was just like HHHHHHH because i mean social anxiety and by social anxiety I DO NOT MEAN GENERAL ANXIETY YOU CAN HAVE SOCIAL ANXIETY WITHOUT HAVING GENERAL at least i think idk i might be wrong) which i ended by saying "i probably dont have clinical anxiety but i do believe my brain has been wired to react to certain situations based on how i had to react to those situations for six years" which then lead to me talking more about my bully and my mom pretty much siphoning as much emotional vulnerability and opening up out of me as she could

And then at the end i told her "can i please leave i kind of feel like crying and i dont want to do it in front of a person at the moment" (because I haven't cried in a few months and i feel like I'm in need of a good cry tbh which in itself is something she doesnt really understand) which lead her to go "why do you feel like crying now I'm worried for you" and HHHHHHEBDJBEHNDEJHBDNEHDBEH yeah--

There's probably more i could say but I'm not going to, because its almost 1 am and while i had actually been about to sleep early at like ten she ended up roping me into an hour or two long talk about emotions, which is. Fun. And i have to get up in six hours so I'm going to go to bed. Sorry if this was a mess which I'm sure it is, i really just needed to get this out there lol

Also when i went to my dad after this to say goodnight (i actually like talking to my dad abt this stuff a lot since his brain and mine are just really similar) he gave me this lil smile and just said "deep breaths" and that made me feel better

#magpie thoughts #and at the end she started doing that thing where she acts silly to try and make me happy and not feel like crying which is a good sentiment #but like i WANTED to cry tonight and now im not in the mood anymore #magpie rants