It’s not that Steve didn’t want a tattoo.
He’d wanted one for years. Just something to piss off his parents the way they pissed him off constantly.
Asking when he’d find a girlfriend (he wouldn’t, he’s gay), when he’d find a better job (he liked his job as a guidance counselor), when he’d move out of the tiny apartment he shared with that girl who couldn’t give them grandchildren (Robin gagged at the mere thought of any of that).
But Robin promised she’d go with him when he made this appointment a month ago and she’d just cancelled at the last minute. Something about a work emergency.
She didn’t have a work emergency. She worked at a Starbucks.
He knew what she was doing. It’s what she always did.
“I just wanna get you out of your shell! People should see the Steve that I see!”
Robin did get a different version of Steve, one that didn’t feel like he had to hide his surprisingly bubbly personality. His students got a calm, kind counselor. But everyone else?
They’d be lucky to get a smile during a conversation.
He wasn’t, like, an asshole.
He just had asshole tendencies.
Robin called him her Oscar The Grouch.
He allowed it because deep down, he knew it was true.
And now he was even MORE grumpy because he had to get this tattoo alone. In a place he’d almost certainly be the outcast in his glasses and business casual attire. With people judging him for not already having tattoos and piercings at the age of 27.
Robin owed him.
When he walked into the shop, he was surprised to hear classic rock instead of heavy metal. The front counter was covered in pictures of bands Steve didn’t know, tattoos he would never get, and signs that had enough vulgar words to fill up the swear jar he kept in the apartment for shits and giggles.
Nervous was an understatement.
A head popped around the corner, bright smile lighting up the face of a man who looked like he belonged here.
“Be right there!”
Steve didn’t bother to say anything because as soon as he started to respond, the head was gone.
He frowned, but figured the guy might be with another client and he was pretty sure they had rules about touching things with their gloves on. At least, he hoped they did.
He stared down at the picture on his phone.
It was small, simple. Something he wouldn’t even have to cover up at work.
One of his students drew it for him last year when he’d missed some work because of the flu. He’d only missed two days, but because he so rarely missed, his regulars were pretty worried about him.
His regulars being three students who sat with him during their lunch period to avoid bullies.
It was a sun, with beautiful yellows and oranges combining into a near perfect circle, small lines randomly jutting out and fading into nothing.
It was beautiful art.
And he was getting it permanently etched onto his body.
He loved his students, what could he say?
The head popped back around the corner, interrupting his thoughts again.
“Sorry for the wait. I had a customer on the phone. How can I help ya?”
“Steve Harrington. Here for a 6:00 appointment?”
The guy beamed at him, nodding along.
“Perfect! You said you already knew what you wanted?”
Steve held up his phone to show this still nameless guy the picture.
“You want the colors like that?”
“If you can.”
“If I can, he says! Of course I can! This is really nice. Did you make this?”
Steve snorted, but he wasn’t that amused. This guy was like a ball of energy and Steve was already exhausted.
“No. One of my students did.”
“Oh, are you a teacher?”
“Guidance counselor.”
“That’s cool! So you, like, make sure the youths of today are on the right path? Keep them interested in the right things?”
Steve blinked at this man.
“I guess, yeah. So can we uh, get started…”
“Oh shit! I always forget to introduce myself to the newbies. Eddie.” He held out his hand towards Steve to shake. Steve stared down at it for a moment, knowing his face was doing that judgy thing Robin always warned him about, but not being able to stop it. “Not a handshake guy?”
Steve cleared his throat, finally reaching his hand up to shake Eddie’s.
The rings on Eddie’s fingers were cold against his own, his grip was strong but not the type of string that made Steve uncomfortable.
Eddie was smiling at him. He never stopped smiling, this guy.
It was kind of…cute. Steve would never admit it to anyone, but the way Eddie just seemed genuinely happy was really doing it for him.
That was annoying.
When he finally remember to let go, Eddie was already turning around to grab a piece of paper from the shelf behind him.
“I’m just gonna have you send that to this email,” he pointed to the contact info on the piece of paper he’d grabbed. “And I’ll get it printed on transfer paper so we can get started.”
Steve nodded and sent the picture as requested.
He ignored the shaking of his hands. It wasn’t a big deal. It’s just a tattoo. Most adults have them. Robin had four. Eddie here seemed to have hundreds.
Eddie must have noticed his visible anxiety. He felt Eddie’s hand on his arm, squeezing gently.
“First tattoo?”
“Is it that obvious?”
“Nah. I’ve just done a lot of first tattoos.” Eddie pulled up the picture on his own phone while he spoke. “I promise it’ll be easier than you’re thinking.”
“I’m not worried about the pain.”
Eddie glanced up at him quickly, then back down at the phone in his hand.
“It’s just permanent, ya know?”
Eddie let out a laugh and held up both of his arms, fully covered in tattoos.
“I know. That’s what’s great. Nothing in life is permanent, but these are. Even when you’re long gone, these will still be on your body.”
Steve hadn’t thought about it like that.
Permanence was something he’d always struggled with. It’s why he was so standoffish according to the two therapists he’d tried talking to. His parents had never given him an idea of what someone staying around was like, his friendships all ended when he realized he wanted to be a better person than they were capable of being, and his only serious relationship ended when he was ready for marriage and she wasn’t.
He’d been through a lot of personal growth since then, most of it thanks to Robin and some experiences at the gay clubs she took him to, and now he felt better about who he was.
He just didn’t think anyone or anything would stick around.
Robin was proving she might, but only time would tell. Plenty of time for Steve to fuck it up.
“You can still back out, man. I won’t charge you the cancellation fee or anything.”
Oh, how nice. Eddie thought he was a wimp and wasn’t even gonna follow his own policy to let him back out.
That’s shameful. He was ashamed.
“Not backing out.”
He folded his arms in front of his chest, trying to tone down the glare he could feel on his own face.
Eddie threw his hands up as he waited for the printer to finish.
“Alright. Just letting you have an out.”
Eddie looked over the few copies he’d printed, all slightly different sizes, and then lined them up on the counter facing Steve.
“What size were you thinking? Where’s this going?”
Steve pointed to the middle one, barely an inch wide.
“I was thinking my wrist?”
Eddie smiled at him.
“Sounds good, sunshine.”
Oh. That was not good.
That little thing his stomach just did?
Nope. Not good at all.
Eddie walked around the counter and gestured for Steve to follow him around the corner.
Steve found himself in awe of the room he was walking into.
He’d never seen such variety in anything. Some of it resembled the front counter, but there was also a Bob Marley poster, a rainbow flag, a whole wall of funny bumper stickers, and graffiti along the ceiling.
It was certainly a lot for the eyes to take in.
Steve kind of loved it.
He even let out a smile.
He quickly hid it away again when he heard Eddie hit his hand against the chair.
“Got it all clean already for ya. Just take a seat and get comfy.” Eddie reached over grab some gloves from a shelf before he sat in front of Steve. “Gonna put this on you first. Make sure the placement is good. Then I’ll shave that area and get all my stuff ready to go. The tattoo itself probably won’t take more than an hour, and most of that will be shading these beautiful colors. Need anything before we get started? Water? Bathroom? Snack?”
Steve’s head was spinning.
Eddie’s energy was relentless, and he had a smile on his face the entire time.
Steve couldn’t help smiling back at him.
“I’m good. Thanks.”
Eddie nodded and started humming along to the song playing over the speakers.
He went through everything quickly, but still took his time explaining everything. Steve was kind of grateful he didn’t have to sit in silence; His brain wasn’t his friend when there was silence.
“Alright, sunshine. If you’re good, I’m good.”
Steve felt his face heat up, blush spreading from his cheeks to his neck.
“I’m good.”
And then he started.
It was sharp, the needles carving ink into his skin causing a new sensation up his entire arm. But it was also…good?
He’d expected it to be painful, maybe even go numb. He hadn’t expected the pain to feel like this.
He lost focus. Everything felt distant and blurry, but in a sleepy way, not in a pass out way. Steve felt himself smiling slightly, but didn’t have the energy to stop it.
He was watching Eddie work, but wasn’t really seeing anything beyond the way his fingers splayed his skin tight and the tattoo gun left ink behind.
His eyes closed at some point, but he wasn’t asleep, the faint buzz of the tattoo gun keeping him present enough to stay awake.
“Hey, sunshine. Doing alright?”
“Hm?”
He tried to focus in on Eddie’s face. Eddie was very close. He was holding his wrist.
Steve was still here.
“Need a break?”
“No. I’m good.”
Eddie chuckled. “I’d say so.”
He continued, and Steve let his mind wander again. It was nice to drift. He’d never felt this relaxed before, not even during the massage Robin got him for his birthday last year.
“Alright, sunshine. You’re done.”
Steve looked down at the tattoo now covering his wrist.
It was beautiful, even better than the picture.
He started to cry.
If he wasn’t so far gone, he’d probably be embarrassed or angry about it, but surely other people had cried after a tattoo before. Maybe Eddie would just ignore it.
“Oh, sweetheart. Do you not like it?”
“No. I love it.” Steve took a shaky breath, then another. “It’s beautiful. Thank you.”
Eddie was rubbing his back and smiling sadly down at him.
“I’m glad you love it. I just have to wrap it up and go over some care instructions, okay?”
“Okay.”
Steve was never this vulnerable, not even with Robin. He was pretty sure she’d only actually seen him cry once when a student moved away.
His whole thing was that he didn’t show emotions. His job required it to an extent, though he was always caring to his students, giving them smiles when they came in to make them feel welcome.
But here he was smiling and crying to a stranger over a tattoo.
“Sunshine?”
“Yeah?”
“Got you some water. I need you to look at me while I go over the instructions okay?”
“Okay.”
He felt himself coming back down to earth as he looked at Eddie, a soft smile making Steve focus in on his mouth.
“That’s good. Keep this wrapped for four hours at least and longer if you’ll be outside. When you take it off, make sure you wash it with antibacterial soap gently and then use moisturizing lotion, unscented is best. If you need some, I can give you some. Make sure to keep it moisturized over the next week. It’ll peel a little, that’s normal, but if you see anything that’s a lot of color falling out or something, come see me and I can fix it. No long exposure to direct sunlight for at least 4 weeks, and use sunscreen on it if you think you will be.” He took a breath and smirked. “Got it?”
“Um.”
He handed over a paper with a laugh.
“It’s all right here. I just needed you to come back down from space. Drink your water and relax for a minute. I’ll go get the card reader.”
Steve did as he was told, enjoying the way the ice cold water helped him focus back in on his surroundings.
With the focus came the grumpiness. He was crashing from his adrenaline high, and his first instinct was to pout.
He didn’t think he was visibly doing so until he heard Eddie snort from a few feet away.
“Welcome back. Sorry to burst your bubble. If I didn’t have another client in 20 minutes, I’d probably have let you stay there for a bit. Seems like you needed it.”
“I. What do you mean? I was just zoned out.”
Eddie froze where he was typing something into his phone.
“Have you never…? Oh. Jesus Christ. Okay. Well. I don’t.” He looked genuinely concerned about what to do. “Okay. I don’t feel comfortable letting you be alone yet. Do you have someone you live with or who can hang out for a bit?”
“My roommate had a work emergency or she’d be here.”
Steve’s arms were crossed again, but the pull of the wrap around his wrist reminded him of the dull ache he was still experiencing. It made him shiver, but he couldn’t explain why.
“Okay. Can you stick around for a bit? I’ve got an office with a couch in the back.”
“Are you gonna tell me why?”
“Ever heard of sub space?”
“Like…the kinky thing?”
Eddie facepalmed.
“Yeah. Like the kinky thing.”
“I mean, I’ve heard of it. Why?”
“You just spent the last hour in it.”
Steve was usually pretty good at keeping a pretty stoic face, but his jaw dropped.
“No I didn’t.”
“Sunshine, you were gone. I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone that deep from a tattoo before.”
“If this is just a way to get me alone in your office or something…”
“Steve. I know you don’t know me, but I would never do that. If I wanted to get you alone, I’d just ask you.”
“I’m sure I’d say no.”
“Exactly. So you’ll stay so I can keep an eye on you?”
Steve shrugged. He didn’t have anything else to do and Robin wouldn’t be home for hours.
“I guess.”
Eddie’s eyes were practically glittering.
“Good. Go lay down, sunshine. I’ll bring you more water in a minute.”
So despite Steve having no idea what just happened, and barely any idea who Eddie even was beyond a talented tattoo artist, he made his way to the office and curled up on the couch.
Pout firmly in place because he was still Steve, after all.
Chapter 2 / Chapter 3
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Tattooed Steve, pt. 2
Part 1 here
Soooo I ended up writing more tattooed Steve. I couldn’t resist. I also realized that Eddie would be the first person to find out but like…other than Robin. But I didn’t count her because Steve and Robin are the same person honestly at this point. Anyway I hope you like it! Pt. 1 is linked above.
—-
It’s two weeks after Vecna when he gets his first one. It’s unexpected, impulsive even, but Steve needs to feel something. He has just spent the past week and half waiting for Eddie to wake up, staring at his pale form, wishing away the anxiety with every beep, beep, beep that comes from the heart monitor. Begging for this stupid, stupid man to wake up.
He isn’t really sure why he wanted Eddie to wake up. Sure the ruggrats love him, and there is the general sense of not wanting any innocent person to die on his watch, but Steve knows deep down it’s about something else. Or more like the potential of something else. He tries not to think about it too hard.
So during that first week and half of watching a comatose Eddie, Steve takes his time studying the man. Learning every curve, and every scar. And eventually, every visible tattoo he can see. They are interesting, not all of them good, but all very Eddie. It somehow makes them better. Some of them are messed up from the bat bites (ironically the bat tattoos remain untouched), but they add to his aesthetic if Steve is being honest with himself.
When Eddie wakes up after that week and a half, groggy and confused (especially towards the fact that Harrington is practically holding vigil at his bedside), the first thing Steve says to him is “Oh thank god you’re awake.” The second is “What the hell were you thinking?” Before Eddie proceeds to pass out again.
Later, when all of the doctors and family and friends have had their time with him, the third thing Steve says to Eddie is, “Tell me about your tattoos.”
And despite the fact half of them are mangled, Steve doesn’t think he has ever seen anyone light up that bright in his life. And when Eddie starts waving his hands in excitement, Steve can’t help but think that he’s never been so close to the sun before.
So, two weeks after Vecna, Steve makes a decision. Or again, if he’s being honest, an impulse. He finds old books in the library about tattoos (which aren’t very helpful), and finds zines hidden between the pages (much more helpful) on stick and pokes.
Steve shows up with supplies from Melvad’s (for a probably very dangerous tattoo kit) at Robin’s doorstep. “Robs, I need you to give me a tattoo.” Then she proceeds to spit all of her morning tea on him.
After a lot of shouting “Did you hit your head again dingus? Oh my god did you get into another fight? Are you having a break down? SPEAK STEVE.”
And a lot of convincing, “Robin I’m fine. No I’m not having a breakdown. Robs, Robbie, Birdie, I swear nothing happen. I just want to do it.”
The end up on Robin’s bathroom floor (because of course all important things happen on the bathroom floor), with a look of deep concentration on her face. “I can’t believe you’re letting me do this, with only twenty minutes from a zine you smuggled out of Hawkins Library. I can’t believe they even have zines.”
“I don’t think they were aware of it honestly.” Steve snorts. His shirt was off, a patch hair already shaved off right where is heart is placed.
“Do you know what you want?” Robin asks, head tilted.
“No, not really. I was hoping you would help.”
Robin hums, like she’s resisting the urge to point out how impulsive he’s being. Like she knows he needs to do this. “Tell me what made you decide to want one.”
So Steve does. He tell her about waiting for Eddie to wake up. Wondering why Eddie got them. Wanting to own himself again, to actually like something new on his body. Put something there he had control of. His curiosity of if it were painful. His interest behind the stories of Eddies tattoos. How Eddie lit up so bright when asked. Wanting to feel like that. Wanting to be close to the sun again.
Robin mercifully didn’t look too deeply (or at least didn’t push on it) about the interest in Eddie himself. “Okay, I think I got it. Just…hold still.”
Twenty minutes later, after three passes with pen ink and a needle, Robin disinfects his tattoo. Before she covers up, she asks “Do you want to see it?”
Steve nods his head eagerly. The tattoo had painful, more painful than he expected, but he found it sort of grounding. Something to keep him aware of himself, almost as if he was able to grasp parts of himself he wasn’t conscious of before.
When Steve stands up to look in the mirror, there he sees off center on his chest, a wonky little sun. It was something a preschooler could have drawn, but it was one of the most beautiful things Steve had ever seen, and it was made by one of the most important people in his life.
Robin says shyly at Steve’s speechless state, “You said you wanted to be close to the sun again.”
Steve scoops Robin up in an instant, ignoring the stinging both on the outside and inside of his chest. “Thank you Birdie.” Which translates, you are the only person I ever need etched in me forever.
“Always, Stevie.” Which means, you’re never getting rid of me anyway.
They pull away with tearful smiles, and silent promises. Steve can start to feel maybe not much like his old self, but somewhere on the way to who he truly is.
Then Robin says, “Okay, me next.”
————
okay I wasn’t sure if really anyone wanted more, or if I was going to do it but I actually really enjoyed where this ended up. Also I apologize for any tense changes. I quite literally type this on my phone and say screw it, without looking it over. Let me know if you want more maybe? Send me prompts even. Thanks for reading :)
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