#i don��t CARE if anyone else enjoys them

[berryhobii]

Hey there :)

I came across you content some days ago and I fell in love with how you write. I have literally read everything you have posted and let me tell you, you don´t disappoint. Thank you for portraying us black girls in the fandom world and allowing us to feel involved in a world where it sometimes feels like we don´t have a voice, it really means the world and reading your work has genuinely made my weekend.

My favourite couple are Y/N and Jungkook from the Late for Work story, and if it´s not too much of a request, could you please write a drabble about them? I don´t have a specific subject in mind, I just like how you write about their dynamic and their personalities.

By the way, sorry if my english is not great, it isn´t my first language. Anyways, thank you so much and keep doing you, you are amazing <33333.

🤧🤧wow thank you so much for your incredibly kind words. And your English is amazing. Don’t ever apologize for that. You could have written it in your native language and I’d find a way to understand it and the words would still be just as special to me❤️I’m so glad you like my work and I’ll continue to do my best for you and every other underrepresented black/brown/dark skinned person out there!

Here’s the Drabble. It’s a Jealous!JK with some suggestive content and loads of compliments about reader/OC! Hope you enjoy!💜

~

Jungkook wasn’t a jealous person by heart.

He was always grateful for what he had so he never found reason to be envious of what others had. His parents raised him well and taught him the importance of humility and compassion. He never felt the need to be jealous.

Even when he met you. You were already spunky and free, expressing yourself how you saw fit. You didn’t let anyone tell what to do or how to feel and especially how to dress.

Jungkook loved your sense of style; you could be girly and colorful, posh and elegant, alternative and dark, and so many more. You weren’t limited to one thing. You tried different styles and if you liked it, you wore it and that was that.

Everyone stopped to stare at you whenever you walked, your natural charisma and glow too powerful for people to just pass you.

And Jungkook felt so much pride being able to hold your hand. You were all his and he was yours, the sparkling diamond on your hand speaking volumes.

So why the hell wasn’t it speaking to this store attendant who kept staring at your breasts as you tried to pick out a bracelet for your best friend’s baby shower. You had already purchased gifts for the baby but you also wanted to choose something special for your friend.

You were focused on staring at the choices in front of you, trying to decide which one would match her skin tone the best. Jungkook was only halfway listening, his eyes staring daggers at the attendant who was assisting you. Jungkook didn’t notice the guy ogling you at first, all of his attention on you and trying to help the best he could.

It wasn’t until he just so happened to look up and realize the man seemed a little unfocused that he noticed. Following the man’s eyesight, Jungkook found him to be staring at your cleavage that was pushing against your arm as you leaned over on the display case. Knowing you, you probably didn’t even realize you were doing it, too deep in thought over which one she’d like.

You could be a bit unaware at times, especially when you were with Jungkook. He always made you feel safe so you never felt the need to be too aware. He would protect you no matter what and you settled into that.

And you were so in love and obsessed with him that you never even noticed when someone else was flirting with you or ogling you. Jungkook was the only pair of eyes you felt and/or cared about. You were also used to people staring at you so you’ve learned to drown out the stares. It was easy enough to do.

Good thing you had Jungkook.

“I think pink gold is cute but white gold is more classy. What do you think, baby?” You glanced over to your husband who seemed to be staring off into space. He did that sometimes. You called it his Jungkookie sense like Spider-Man. You thought it was adorable.

He hummed, blinking before looking down at you and smiling. “I think white gold is perfect, princess.” He directed his focus to the attendant whose eyes were still admiring your bosom.

Ugh.

You smiled brightly at your husband before nodding and turning back to the attendant. “I’d like to see this one in white gold, please.”

“Of course, miss.” He smiled politely and moved to retrieve the bracelet from a cabinet away from both of you.

Jungkook relaxed for a moment. He hated that gross feeling that was building in his stomach. He was very secure in your relationship; never worrying about you cheating or flirting with other people. Not when you’d come home and suck his cock just because you missed him. You were obsessed with him and you made sure he knew it.

He did. He truly did. He just hated how this guy was staring at you when it was obvious you were taken. It just felt disrespectful. Couldn’t he try to be more subtle or just not look at taken women like you were some piece of meat?

He couldn’t relax long since the man came back with the jewelry.

“I love it! Don’t you think it’s so wonderful, baby?” You bounced on your toes, clapping cutely. The motion caused your breasts to bounce, Jungkook’s eyes cutting to the man who was smiling sleazily at you.

Jungkook could feel his anger bubbling up but he swallowed it down. He didn’t want to make a scene even though he really wanted to punch this guy in the face.

He gritted a smile. “I do. It’s beautiful. Your friend will love it.” He directed his attention back to the guy, reaching into his pocket to take out his card. “We’ll take it.” He ordered, slapping his black card on the counter. The man flinched, finally locking eyes with Jungkook’s menacing ones. He gulped, sweat slicking up his palms.

You made a noise of surprise. “Baby, what?“

“Do you want something too, princess? I’ll get you whatever you want.” He never broke eye contact with the man who was starting to turn pink under the heat of Jungkook’s gaze.

You blinked a few times before a knowing look formed on your face. You hid a smile behind your hand. Adorable.

Leaning over the display case again, you pointed at a ring. “That one. It’ll compliment my wedding ring nicely, don’t you think?”

“I do. Could you wrap them please? With a nice bow?” The devilish smile he sent towards the man was enough to send a shiver down his spine. While the smile looked polite on the outside, the attendant could feel the intensity that radiated off of the hunk of man.

The attendant ducked his head, meekly whimpering out a, “right away” before scampering off to retrieve the boxes and wrapping.

After paying, Jungkook led you out of the store, making sure to deliver a slap to your ass that he’s sure the attendant saw.

“You’re cute when you’re jealous, baby.” You teased once you two had gotten back in the car. Jungkook started the engine, pulling off with one hand on the wheel and the other on your thigh.

He scoffed. “I wasn’t jealous. I just don’t like when people stare at you too hard.” His grip tightened on your thigh making you bite your lip. Gosh, your husband was so sexy. And him jealous took his sexy meter from a 10,000 to a 10 Million.

“They can look all they want. You’re the only one who can touch.” Grasping his hand on your thigh, you moved it between your legs, his fingers coming in contact with a wet spot on your panties.

He almost swerved the car, groaning as he tried to stay focused on the road. “How long have you been wet?”

“Since you slammed that card down on the counter.” You unbuckled your seatbelt, leaning over the console to come closer to him. Your tongue darted out to lick a broad stripe up the side of his neck, teeth biting at a fading hickey. “Now why don’t you pull over so you can take what’s yours?”

A wolffish grin spread across his face. Reaching a hand down, he rubbed over the bulge in his pants.

“I’ll start with your mouth. Get over here and show me.”

And you did. The entire ride home.

#bts #bts smut #jungkook drabble #askberryhobii

[yandere-daze]

Hello~! How are you? Congrats on reaching 3K followers, It been a wonderful ride watching you grow this much~! I hope you've been taking care of yourself during these times, drink water and sleep well, alright?

I have a silly request if you're alright with it. May I get Yan. Enstars headcanons (or just thoughts) of Madara and Yuzuru pursuing the same person? This was just a one-off thought I had because Madara and Yuzuru share the homescreen and -compared to being paired with others- rarely have lines where they are upset. They are imo similar to eachother with their caring nature and despite their very big differences would work well together after a while. Whether this is Self-Aware AU or just the general Yandere AU depends on you and how you think this works best! Congrats again on 3k! I'm so happy for my favorite Enstars writer to have grown this far! Love you and take care~!

Hi, I´ve been doing fine thank you for asking! Favorite enstars writer?🥺 That´s so sweet of you to say, thank you so much!!😭💕

Both Yuzuru and Madara are pretty interesting characters, I need to read up more about them honestly, but I hope you enjoy this nonetheless!

gn reader

tw yandere, obsession, possessiveness, mentioned violence and implied murder, implied kidnapping near the end

Yandere! Yuzuru and Madara pursuing the same darling

I think this is actually a really interesting duo of yanderes and one I haven´t thought of before? But it kind of makes sense in the way that I think they would be pretty similar as a yandere, in the general sense, so I actually agree with you there!

Both of them are very caring and devoted around their darling, wishing to fulfill every single one of your wishes without any reservations but can very quickly turn violent and cruel toward anyone they deem a threat to either your safety or your relationship

Yuzuru with his background in the military can be very terrifying and so is Madara. Doesn´t he outright say somewhere that his number 1 way to solve things is through violence? Honestly, I´d hate to be the person that has to deal with their wrath, you most likely wouldn´t live to see another day

I think both of them would be pretty quick to figure out that they aren´t the only one after your heart and I just know that all of their interactions with each other would get so tense. They´re both smiling when they´re with you but they still let passive-aggressive comments toward the other slip from time to time

They don´t want to worry you too much but you can definitely feel the animosity between them as they almost fight over who gets to take care of you

Yuzuru is a butler, he has spent his entire life serving people so isn´t he the most suitable person to be taking care of you? He already knows all of your preferences when it comes to food and he has taken the time to perfect every single one of your favorite dishes so he can make them exactly to your liking. It would be an honor if you would let him serve you

Madara meanwhile tells you that Yuzuru is way too uptight to stay around for so long. Wouldn´t it be much more fun to go on a trip with him and explore the city for the perfect restaurant to try out? It would almost be like a little date between you two~

Ah, no need to answer! Madara is already moving to pick you up and sprint away as Yuzuru´s smile looks more and more strained by the second, his voice sounding outright murderous as he tells Madara to stop touching his master

Just when did you become his master, exactly? Well, there are probably better things to be worried about when it looks like they might kill each other any second now

Them actually working together instead of fighting to win your heart would be pretty difficult to achieve, I think. More than anything, they both want to be the most important person in your life and the one to be taking care of you. They want to make sure you always stay happy and healthy and no one else is better suited for that than them, in their minds at least

After all, who else could tend to you but the person that loves you to the point of dangerous obsession? Who but the person who has dedicated their entire life to you? They´re both eternally grateful for pulling them out of their dark past and giving them this chance to redeem themselves, to do some good, that they simply can´t leave your fate up to anyone else

And this fact is both their greatest source of conflict and a way for both of them to see eye-to-eye. They understand each other better than one might think, or more than they would ever admit

They both want to keep you safe under any circumstances and so I think the one and only way for them to set aside their rivalry and work together is for you to actually be in great danger and needing both of them to get you back to safety

They´d rather save you on their own but they can´t be too selfish when something more important is on the line. So they decide to work together to get you back to safety and they honestly work together scarily well

They´re both more than willing to get violent if it concerns you and so they remove any and all obstacles in the way until you´re finally safe in their arms once again

And maybe, just maybe, they might both come to realize that working together might be necessary to keep you safe for all of eternity

So please don´t be scared, they´re both going to take great care of you from now on! <3

#yandere enstars x reader #yandere ensemble stars x reader #yandere yuzuru fushimi x reader #yandere madara mikejima x reader #ensemble stars x reader #enstars x reader #yuzuru fushimi #madara mikejima #yuzuru fushimi x reader #madara mikejima x reader #fine #mam #ensemble stars #enstars #yandere ensemble stars #yandere enstars #gn reader #yandere #cw yandere #cw obsession #cw murder #cw violence #cw kidnapping #yandere x reader #male yandere #3k followers celebration

[mrs-stardustt]

dating Amado Carrillo Fuentes (1/?)

a/n: back up on my bullshit, back up on the scene

you don't knowwww how bad I am down for this man, like, just look at him babe

so, you guess it, i had to start this series with my tontín. i have no idea with whom of the other characters go next sooo if you have some suggestion don’t be shy and let me know, alright?

hope you enjoy this one,

 have fun indulging my delusions babesss

TW: NSFW (18+), implied fem reader

gif credit: @nomoregoldfish​ 

god this mannnn

first and foremost, how lucky are you to be dating this don juán???

we all know that he had his fun whilst single, he was for and by the streets babe

but once he met you oh boyyyyy

he strikes me as a love of first sight kinda man, just like not in a romcom way, more in the I met you and I know you're my person<3 right away

but to add a bit of spice: enemies to lovers with Amado????? OMG don't get me started

just imagine how he would pick at you just to see you all pissed off at him

and you being just as petty as he is, making each other annoyed as quickly as posible

however sooner of later maybe you two realise that you have more in common than you thought, perhaps you'll see that he is really no tontín and actually is a very intelligent man, someone who is deeply observing and attentive

he sees that too, and probably sooner than you: he always knew how fucking hermosa you are, that your smarter than you give yourself credit for, that you have a strong will and a soft heart

and I don't make the rules (I kinda do) but he falls in first

yep you heard that right, he is head over heels babe

my man would make a fool of himself E V E R Y T I M E but you gotta love him for that

he really strikes me at the type to be buying a ring just as soon as he knows you’re the one, he’ll be en las nubes, con la cabecita en el cielo (kinda on brand lol) imagining you being his wife, having kids, a house and all:(( 

buuuuuut, he’s no intenso

he'll give you space, he won't act on anything if he doesn't believe that you feel the same way

he will most likely embarrassed himself at some point tho

just let’s bffr if anything, Amado is a chill man, let’s not forget that. he is cool and so sure of himself BUT if he slightly feels threatened by anyone???? OMG RUNNN

possessive amado enters the chat

as soon as he sees some type of competition (even if you don't even like/give attention to them) he is ready to fight

that's when he actively starts going after you, because there's no way he is losing his reina

he is a old fashion romántico

specially if you two start dating after Amado starts working alongside Acosta, we know Amado is taking notes on how to curt such a woman like you

let's just take a second to think on how roast Amado is with Acosta and his men, they’ll be mocking how whipped he is lol but he doesn’t care, he’ll do anything to make you happy:(

so he asks you on a date, on whatever you like, that doesn't matter, but he is HANDS ON to make you choose him<3. he is just very invested that everything is of you liking, that if you go to have dinner, the food is perfect, the lightning is just right and shit

and we all know him, when he wants something he is persistenttt

and doesn't matter if you little resistant to really give him a chance (again, don juán) but he will really really try:( he has one mission and is to make you the happiest:(

after just one date he's EAGER to have a second one. he got a hold on you for a moment now he can't let you go mija

and once he is committed, forget about anything else. no vieja or desmadre outside of you matter anymore. you're his top priority and he makes sure you know that, so you get the idea: the whole relationship starts at your pace, he follows the patrona words

it is worth to address that at first he is hesitant to show you anything about his job, even if you already know. you’re safety goes first so you’re relationship is a bit of a secret but not really a secret, you know??

in public, no one really knows what is going on between you too, just something has change. now he gives himself permission to stare a little longer at your pretty face, he compliments you more often when he sees you but nothing too showy

BUT IN PRIVATE??? jesus fucking christ

when i say this man is romantic???

domestic Amado is the softest and most relax you will ever see him

FOREHEAD KISSES OMG all. the. fucking. time.

it's like a little reminder that he is present and to show you a little affection without too much PDA

and I am just convinced that he gives THE best kisses. he is so passionate and caring, fully embracing the moment. with one hand on your waist and the other on your cheek/hair how could you even doubt that my man is a good kisser???? I CAN'T-

he just lives to make you feel goooood mija

so get the memo: you two are the most foolish in love people to ever exist. he makes you feel like a real princesa. all you ever dream is at your feet, no need to ask

also I want to mention that when he is away from you, like on a work trip or something he most definitely is calling your every single night to just hear your voice:(((

but not everything is perfeeeect:(

i know i know who would've thought????

one big problem i see you having with Amado is him running away from confrontation. he just doesn’t want ANYTHING bad near you and he has a lot of shit going on that it may scare him

also Amado doesn’t communicate really well. you see him having a hard time at work?? he won’t tell you a thingggg. you get frustrated bc you know him like, he can’t escape the wise woman you are, you see between his “no tengo nada, amor, no te preocupes” “una pendejada allá en el trabajo pero no es nada, tú cómo estás, eh, bonita?”  so guess what???? confrontation will happen

although fights/discussions are solved very quickly, neither of you can stay away from eachother so the only option is to eventually loose a little pride and be open:(

so you’ll need patience with him, he’ll come around to his feelings and be open about it, just he needs time. 

at one point he’ll understand that you are very much the medicine of his penares. he’s got you, he won’t need anything more

but don’t worryyyyyy

all is fine babe

at the end he is very much in love and it showwws. the tontín romántico won’t miss a single day to remind you that he is all yoursss

expect a random ramo de flores because he thought of you mid day

him going late for work because he just wanted 5 more minutes with you in the morning

trips to whatever place he had in mind just ‘cause he can. imagine having a call randomly of him just saying “prepárate una maleta con un vestido bonito, te llevo a Los Cabos amor” of some shit like that. we know he flexes about his planes, that is a fact

goofy little smiles when you two encounter each other after a long day

AYyy NO, i’m so soft for him:((((

little i have to tell you that he is the perfect partner, no one goes near to him when he is in love

NSFW part:

BIGGEST TEASE OF ALL TIME

he has make his top priority to know you body. he knowss where and how to get a reaction of you

and he takes avantage of that, you better believe that

he loves to see you trying to conceal his effects on you. imagine you in the passenger seat while his driving and WE KNOW he'll put his hand on your thigh and slowly and without looking at you moving it close to where you need him the most UGHHH

I can fucking picture his smug smile while he does his little ministrations like omg

needless to say that he is a gentle soft dom

there I say it, idc

btw we can't escape from his cocky side, he'll make you beg if you try to challenge him (and that happens more often than not)

he'll have you underneath him, cock drunk with how well he is taking care of you

side note: his fav position most likely is you riding him, don't ask

such a brat tamer energy lol

it is a back and forth on who gets away with their teasing and that little game doesn't end until the other gives in

if it's you is not until he finally gives you what you want, he has you in all fours pounding so good and fast, your mind hazy and your moans slipping from you that you can admit that he won

if it's him is when your on your knees, your mouth full of him but not letting him come to practically beg you to keep going

and on the side of the blowjobssss

he liveeeees for them, there's no other way he wants to end his day then to have his beautiful mujer on her knees pleasing himm

him throwing his head back, hand on your hair but not pushing too much with his breathing getting quicker as you fasten your movements WHAT A SIGHT OMG

and he'll like when you take control of things, when you're the one taking the shots. he appreciates the effort soooo much

but when you give that power to him? oh darlinggg prepárate

we had said how happy he is to make YOU happy and that goes straight up to the bed game.

he makes sure you come first and at least one time before he is inside you

and idk why but I just see him a very skill with his fingers iykyk babe

the foreplay is a MUST between you, he likes to take his time and to really feel you. and that extends to kissing you nonstop until air is much neede

he is such a intense and passionate lover, I have no doubtssss

I see him being a little experimental in bed but you have to propose the things you wanna try, he doesn't push your limits NEVER

not an exhibitionist but loooooves to tease you in public lol

however, something where you get too close to get caught he won't do it, he likes to keep this private business, private

KING OF AFTERCARE

he loves to see you so close when you two are done, with sleepy eyes and satisfied smiles. he is a cuddler for sureee

just know that like everything with him is so fun and full of love babe<3

#amado carrillo fuentes x reader #amado carrillo fuentes #narcos mexico #narcos #narcos fic #narcos imagine

[brujaluas]

WHO IS MY SOULMATE? - TAROT READING

CHOOSE YOUR FAVORITE ART!

Pile 1

is a person who comes from a far away and the things started to go wrong in his life slowly. this person has some red flags and can be a little difficult to deal with. a very alone person, but I don't want to change, I see some personality traits not so dear but this person tells me he wants to change, strong determination. obsessed and trapped, he feels he needs to fulfill some duty, he has a strong woman in his life, a female figure responsible for the things that happen in his life and led him to be who he is today. very intelligent, is a person who comes from afar (probably). A person with a somewhat mysterious past, be careful at first sight because this is a very beautiful and intelligent person, i say to be careful because that our soulmates are not always perfect, they are human beings like anyone else, I feel that when they meet (it won't take long) ) , you will quickly fall into her charms, the type to love her overnight and be careful with that intensity, your soulmate is a complete hot mess, paths unlocked, I would say her archetype is the snake, you know? many life experiences, strong relationship as a straight couple. you'll be the cutie they'll love to destroy (in a good way), travels and fast relationship.

Pile 2

strong female energy, like, very strong, a relationship between two women is going to start slowly, i see you going to the place where that person is going to be, messages, i see you as a kind of messenger (or this person who will be), relationship very happy, mates, but there is a lot of tradition, patience with the relationship. she is much more mature than you, she is older, more experienced in certain areas of life, she has possibly had a serious relationship before, she may have children because she is very motherly or takes great care of the people around her, she will feel safe by your side, comfort, a lot of time at someone else's house, romantic, you are very proud and stubborn, you want to get things right, I see fights coming from you and this tradition also comes from you, be patient with the your process, with hers and with the process of your relationship, you are not alone, she will welcome you quickly into her family, she will treat you like a baby, at first it will be difficult for you because it will destroy many beliefs and traditions, but in the end, you two will be queens. the masculine side also needs to be worked on and how the masculine figure is visualized as well. don't worry, you will be a light breath on a heavy day for her and it will be reciprocal. cat, something with cats.

Pile 3

they will meet at a relative's house, that person has a bond with a relative of yours, they will meet at a homely place, frequented by people, but quiet, perhaps in the countryside. you are very young and similar with them, your lives are similar, there is more than one person with a bad feeling around you and they, watching, cautious. introversion, very jealous, I want you, I love you, I want you now (sorry for that), you seem to have more control over things in your life, a queen, you and them are very similar, I get messages that I don't know if they are from them or from you, introversion on both sides, you don't like to mingle with others, you end up feeling lonely sometimes, you don't need to change who you are to fit into a perfect relationship, strong sexual desire caused by holding back yours desires, you seem to be a person that you are on the right path in your life, and that person will admire you, many good things coming from the two of you, enjoy.

"sorry for being like that, i don"t know, i love you."

#tarot community #tarot deck #tarot reading #free tarot #pick a pile #pick a pile reading #pick a card reading #pick a picture #pick a card #soulmates #witchyvibes #witchy things

[parragone]

wip wednesday saturday

one of those "I can't tag anyone else because I don;t know who to tag" situations, but thank you @r6shippingdelivery for tagging me in the first place <3

it's been a hot minute, so I'm gonna post a couple WIPs - the first being a muze wip from the early days of Rainbow, the second being a wip chapter from my Gentle Progress rewrite, Set in Motion, and the third being from a Fallen Hero wip because I am fucking rotted by this game-

ANYWAY, IT'S ALL UNDER THE CUT

first is from Early Days, which is the mute/fuze thing that just... bites at my heels

The party was loud. Too loud, really, but Mark had grown somewhat accustomed to the way the team liked to celebrate. With new arrivals from Japan to liven the party further, Mark had ducked out to get a breath of fresh air and hopefully escape the party altogether. He had never been one for parties in the first place, having never been quite old enough to be invited to any among his peers, and had little interest in learning to enjoy them. With a flimsy excuse about needing to finish his latest prototype improvement for MONI, he’d escaped a lecture from Mike – a well-intentioned lecture about needing to learn how to socialize, but a lecture nonetheless – and slipped out of the mess hall. A walk to clear his head and ground himself would do him some good, and then he’d go back to his ideal holiday activity; six hours spent coding something for fun rather than for a deadline. It’d be quiet until the operators came back from the holiday party disappointingly sober yet still all too happy to carry on their chatter, but by that time he hoped to be well and truly too tired to care. As he tugged his hood up and prepared to take the short walk around the obstacle course that he had come to well and truly despise, he heard the steady pace of another set of boots on another late-night jog. He raised his head to look down the track with furrowed brows, only to be met with the now-familiar figure of Kessikbayev. The smell of fresh cigarettes overpowered the smell of the rain and Mark was suddenly glad for the mask that covered his face and hid the way he cringed at the smell. “You weren’t at the party,” Mark commented as the older man slowed to a stop under the overhang. Shuhrat raised a brow as he shook his head to get rid of the excess water. “No.” The answer was simple and curt, and Mark felt a twinge of relief. “You have left it.” “Too loud.” It was as much an excuse as it was a reasonable explanation. “You done jogging?” “Yes.” The older man paused and gave a sidelong nod toward the barracks. He was done for the night, Mark assumed, but they were heading the same way. “Mind company?” “No.”

This second part is for Set in Motion, but it's a ways away

"I brought a peace offering." Jayce's boots were heavy on the old steel floors but just controlled enough that Viktor could tell the man was being conscious about his approach. He stared at the wall as the Piltovan approached and placed something glass on the dusty old bedside table,  immediately followed by a retreat and the sound of his colleague circling around to the other side of the bed. The silence was so thick that he wondered if a bullet could kill it. "Can we talk?"  The bed creaked as Jayce sat on the other side, the dip in the old mattress just enough for the Zaunite to notice. He refused to turn over and look at the man, something bitter built up in his heart.  "Or maybe I can just… talk. I… I know I fucked up. I should have listened to you but instead, I paraded myself down an alley because I heard something. Even after you warned me that it's dangerous down here." Viktor listened as the Piltovan continued, aching hand slowly relaxing. "I was an idiot. And an asshole. And if your friend Vi wasn't there I probably would have ended up dead in a back alley instead of alive with a few new scars." Viktor looked at the pattern on the pillowcase. He wanted to be something mad, to be angry enough to yell at Jayce again, and found himself empty of it. The hollow cavity in his chest felt only slightly cracked, but enough to keep his attention on what his colleague was saying.  "I don't know what I'm doing. Obviously. I nearly - I did hurt people down there. And I… I'm… I didn't realize how upset it would make you or how dangerous it was or… or anything like that and now I feel like I've crushed your good will for me into the ground and I hate that more because you… you. You. You're smart. You're leagues beyond anyone else I've ever met, like the Lady of Progress herself made you to force me to change. You've never once been hesitant to tell me when I'm wrong or a jackass or just not being the best I could be." The Zaunite shifted his bad leg to stretch it slightly. "Such as your misconception about Shuriman naming conventions. You insisted upon yourself so loudly." "Yeah, exactly," Jayce replied, his voice tinged with an emotion Viktor couldn't place. "You damn near threw the history book at me. My point is, I don't want to lose you because you're one of my only friends. I just… I don't know how to be a good friend. I've never had many. Most people think I'm an asshole on purpose but half the time I can't even tell if they're mad at me or happy with me and the other half I can't tell their facial expressions apart."  The bed shifted again, the dip shifting into a full, familiar, comfortable weight behind him that made him ashamed and relieved at the same time. He wanted to turn around and look at his roommate, his friend, to encourage him and reward him with the end goal. Viktor knew better.  "I don't know how to be a good friend. I'm barely a good person. I know this because most of why I haven't built a city-leveling bomb is the morals of those around me. But I want… I want to be good for you. And I don't know where to start because I feel like every time I start to do something I'm inevitably gonna fuck up. Maybe not as bad as this excursion, but I still think about how angry you were when you left the play. I never want to do that to you again and here I am,  somehow doing something even worse. I think I'm asking for forgiveness, maybe? Or guidance. Just… I want to know how to..." "Fix it?" "You know me. There's nothing I can't fix, right?"

and the last bit is fallen hero, also very rusty, but also vaguely??? nsfw?? it's meant to be intimate but not necessarily sexual idk

The dreams had a strange mercy for once in that he could see nothing, but in exchange, his mind had conjured something far worse; a fantasy he could touch, smell, and hear. He didn’t need to see to feel Chen knelt in front of him, broad form settled between his thighs as a solid anchor among uncertainty. He needed a reason – and his mind provided, familiar hands pulling a blindfold tight over his eyes and the tickle of an all too familiar beard along the edge of one shoulder. Chen knew his strength. He kept one rough, weathered hand flat against Cole's lower spine to keep him still as he pressed quiet kisses against the warm, soft skin. Teeth grazed the edge of the ink that lined the smaller man's collarbone in fractal patterns too tightly interwoven to discern with the naked human eye; bruises bloomed over his neck and chest like flowers carefully embroidered into cloth too fragile to hold them. Held still as if he’d fall apart if Chen dared let go. Ortega had learned to be careful. His hands were softer than the Marshal’s, but just as grounding as they rested on his waist. Warm lips pressed to the nape of his neck, the scrape of a well-trimmed beard along the dip of his shoulder just as ticklish as it was when they kissed. He held the telepath as if he could save Cole from falling again, as if he could hold him close and somehow save him without knowing what he was saving him from. Like a hero should, if they could. It was too much to bear, not enough to fill the aching hole in his chest. Like filling an ocean one rainstorm at a time, bringing life from extinction. Washing away the barren empty with nothing more than a rag and their tears, they had no intention of letting him slip from their hands a second time. Monsters and all. Don’t touch me, his mind whispered in an instinctive flinch, I don’t know how not to bite.

#muze #r6s mute #r6s fuze #jayce giopara #viktor league of legends #wei chen #ricardo ortega #league of legends #rainbow six siege #fallen hero #fhr #fic wip #fanfic wip

[thelien-in-bg3]

Tav Character Worksheet

Thank you for the tag @hybernating-bear <33

Tagging; @brickhoise @aroaceofthanes

Name: Ullr

Ullr is the name of the god of hunting, snow, archery, and, get this, skiing - I grew up with stories of him just as the other gods, but he always meant something special he shoots while skiing what´s not to like!?

Gender: Male, he´s a lil guy doing funny faces :)

Sexuality: Demi-Bisexual, but in the way he´s not just confused, he has no idea.

Pronouns: He/Him

O T H E R

Family: He was born in the Underdark and grew up there in the cult of Lolth and was later smuggled out "accidentally" by some raiders, he was then picked up by a farmer and his wife and raised there for the rest of his childhood.

Birthplace: Underdark

Job: He runs around doing small things for coin as he doesn't like being confined to one place, he also hates the outdoors just not that much so he compromises.

Phobia: Small places (Claustrophobia) and big places, and fire.

Guilty pleasure: Gossip might be one of the biggest, if this guy hears anything, everyone heard it, that´s not to say he can´t keep secrets, he can as long as you make it clear it´s a secret. Romantic novels, he likes the idea of ​​love you don't have to earn and is that is equal. Those are probably the only two things he might feel a bit of guilt for.

Hobbies: Rocks. He picks up rocks and puts them in his pockets, and others too if he doesn´t have more room, without shame. And dirt sometimes too, if it´s a new place. He keeps small bottles on him for different kinds of dirt and sand that he labels.

M O R A L S

Alignment: Chaotic Natural

Sins: Murder is always okay! So is theft. Most of the time...

Virtues: Loyalty to those he care about, everyone else can die for all he cares as long as he doesn´t need them in some way.

T H I S O R T H A T

Introverted / Extroverted (depends on the person and situation)

Organized / Disorganized

Close minded / Open minded (he always knows best unless you can back your own point up with a nine slides PowerPoint)

Calm / Anxious / Restless

Disagreeable / Agreeable / In between (no is his favorite word :) it´s so short and simple)

Cautious / Reckless / In between (depends very much on the situation)

Patient / Impatient / In between (depends very much on the situation, and who it is)

Outspoken / Reserved / In between

Leader / Follower / Flexible (he enjoys his own company but doesn't mind being joined as long as he withdraw)

Empathetic / Unempathetic / In between (he wasn´t really thought empathy when he was small and it never caught up but he tries for his friends)

Optimist / Pessimist / Realist (optimist pessimist?? "we´re all going to die, but hey at least we had the chance to breathe in some air!")

Traditional / Modern / In between (traditions are important but some of them needs to die)

Hardworking / Lazy / In between

R E L A T I O N S H I P S

OTP: I don´t really know.... either Astarion or Karlach

Other ships: -//- idk

Brotp: Shadowheart, Lae'zel, Wyll, and Gale, Gale in an awkward weird kind of way

Notp: I don´t really think there´s anyone in the camp he doesn´t like, or he would tell them to leave by threatening to do it himself if they didn´t.

#bg3 #bg3 tav #ullr oc #baldurs gate 3 #thanks again for the tag #<3 #i need to draw more bg3 fanart

[texasjen13]

(Chris’s general tarot reading turned into a love triangle between AB and Real FS PART 2)

7 of swords Rx- The reverse meaning of the card is someone excess use of intellect with little success on an outcome, to surrender, or to have little care on solving a problem.

4 of swords Rx-someone is focused on a restlessness in their life, someone is up turning the common. They’ve likely enjoyed and is pushing it to action.

King of cups Rx- is a shadow side being revealed. meaning that someone can be emotionally unavailable and sensitive and immature. They act on impulse with no thought to how their actions may affect anyone else they can be moody and unpredictable. They can be a chaotic storm coming through to disrupt everything in their path. But since it is a king of cups, it is a Cancer card so I’m thinking this might be Alba instead of Chris

( note that tarot is based on energy, so even though it’s a king of cups tarot has no gender so it could be male or female!) but again the king of cups fix sign is a cancer zodiac sign.

3 of Swords- basically means heartbreak, someone is about to be left out in the cold. It can also mean third-party situation, which can mean another lover, friends, family, or Work. But I’ll get to the clarification later to show that it’s an actually another lover.

Clarifying cards:

King of cups upright position - ( again AB cancer fixed zodiac sign) king of cups is a person who appreciates finer things in life. Or both since it is Chris’s reading.

Queen of wands RX - can represent someone whose fiery temper can occasionally go out of control, and whose fickleness and selfishness can mean that they quickly lose interest in a person. They may have a hard time caring for a persons needs demanding of satisfying their own.

The magician Rx- meaning, someone might be feeling confused or not sure about their relationship it’s like a sign to paused, and think about what’s really important to them, and make sure the relationship is right for them.

The Lovers- meaning that there is a new love, maybe brewing, maybe a partnership or a person who is already in a relationship. But since it’s paired with the three of swords? That means there may be a new love and Chris’s life or Alba‘s life who really knows but there is a third person, since the lovers is paired up with the three of swords, meaning, heartbreak and third-party.

Ace of coins- when I asked for a fix sign to show the lovers . The ace of coin represents an earth sign meaning the third person can be a Virgo, Taurus or Capricorn. In this love triangle.

9 of Swords Rx -yes, or no question when I asked if Alba will be the one left out in the cold in this love triangle the answer is a yes! She will be the one that will be left out.

( BEFORE ANYONE GETS STUPID I POSTED UP A BIRTHDAY FIXED SIGN CHART) BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE ALREADY STARTING

Gemini , Virgo's and Cancer are three different Fixed Birth signs:

Here is a birth chart with the fixed signs so you won't be confused :).

FIXED SIGN's ACCORDING TO BIRTH DATES !!!!

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Gemini (May 21 – June 20) Chris's Fixed Sign

Cancer (June 21 – July 22) Alba's Fixed Sign

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

SO neither Chris or Alba is not a Virgo in their Fixed Birth Signs.. (They aren't born between Aug 23-Sept 22)

SO DON"T GET MY TAROT READING TWISTED USE THIS BIRTH DAY CHART AND NOT BE STUPID !!!

#tarot #chris evans tarot #Birthday chart

[omegaplus]

# 4,174

Cold Waves @ Warsaw; September 15 & 16, 2022.

If I told you that I was feeling shaky going into attending Cold Waves, you’d write me off instantly. Why would I still feel nervous about attending shows? Sure, the event is everything, but every trip to grandiose New York City is still a major thing for me. It’s still feels like uncharted territory and I’m still not over it but it has everything Long Island fails to provide: the venues, the people, the exciting energy, and an allure I still can’t put my finger on. It’s all for the taking, whereas on Long Island I had way more than enough. Also: anxiety. (Film at 5.)

I was only mere days away and I had to get ready for two straight nights of taking trains to and from Brooklyn. Cold Waves would be the third show I’d attend this year - fourth if I cared going to Ministry’s “Industrial” Strength tour which I didn’t go to. I was a frantic wreck anticipating this industrial legends / synthwave festival. The tremors in my black heart would stop only if I finally arrived at Warsaw. It’s my third visit there. The first was for Hospital Productions’ 20th Anniversary and the second was for Black Marble and Cold Cave on a hot June day - before my world, my momentum, and soul were all upended.

I don my black cap, a Clock DVA shirt, blue jeans, black boots and new black leather jacket. It’s sunny out, a hazy blue sky is being invaded by cumuluses all over the place - perfect conditions for an afternoon drive westward on the Long Island Expressway, down on Sagtikos Parkway, through Southern State to Rt. 231, and heading south to Rt. 27A to the Babylon station. I took no chances catching the earlier one-hour train to Penn Station, then hopped on the ‘E’ line to Court Square’s ‘G’ line to Greenpoint Ave. The train ride was bliss as hardly anyone was on it.

It was 6:15 PM when I stepped off the G and went upstairs to Greenpoint, my favorite Brooklyn neighborhood. It only took me 15 minutes to walk a few blocks down to Driggs Av. in Kings County’s Polish neighborhood. It’s only 6:30 PM and already I’m being greeted by a crowd of three at the very front of the line. One of them saw my DVA shirt and gave me two thumbs up. “Great shit, man!”, he said. I smiled and my heart rate went up 20.00% knowing I made the right choice of t-shirt for night #1 of Cold Waves. I found myself standing at the exact same spot on line more than four years ago when I waited to enter the venue for Cold Cave and Black Marble. It was that very corner where Wes Eisold stood with Genesis P. Orridge before that show. Doors open at 7 PM as all of us trudge towards the venue for our security checks before entering paradise where I’m immediately hit with the smell of incense, a special smell distinct to my Brooklyn travels and nowhere else.

The music existed before the beginning of time and it was pumping. No wonder - DJ Andi (Harriman) was behind the wheels of steel. She’s a fixture of the neighborhood where she fit perfectly with the industrialists and synth-wave demographic that populate there. With me being 15th in line, I won a spot up front. As always without fail. I was feeling great about what was about to go down for the next five hours. The first person I thought of was my Roman goth friend Lira* who I wished was there with me. She would’ve blended in with all these vampires, witches, and mistresses attending; many walking around wearing 242, Wax Trax, Pig, Pigface, Hocico, and Twin Tribes shirts.

7:45PM is here. The dee-jay fades out, the overheads turn off and the first act is ready to go. Cold Waves is finally underway.

Spike Hellis was the first of ten on the roster and kicked off the entire festival. The fresh Los Angeles duo have enjoyed a new sizable uptick of exposure. They were active and had lots of energy on stage; a theme that they’d set the tone for the entire program. Their fast-paced EBM, electro, and electronic hybrid was a fine example of the current sound that Los Angeles had to offer. Both Cortland Gibson and Elaine Chang traded instrumental and (screaming) vocal duties with each other while conveying themes of agony, control, rage, emotional despair, and submission that rubber-stamped their own pandemic-era, all accentuated at the end with an annoyed Chang dealing the finger to an audience member as the cherry on top. Who knows what happened there? What I do know was that someone threw an empty beer can at them during their set and security called him out on it; eyes and pointy fingers in his direction with a one-and-final warning not to do it again.

For those wondering why Rein is being highly praised all over, you’ll see why. One of two solo acts, Rein wasted no time taking the stage and it wasn’t long for her to show everyone why she’s one of the most talked-about synthwave acts of recent. It’s not just her razor-sharp EBM delivery and style but also her choreography which made her perfectly groove to the music. She can seriously move it like no other and also delivered plenty of hard-edged sounds of equal measure. It was more than enough to ask who the fuck Shakira was, because she’s got nothing on her. It wasn’t just Rein who was motioning to the music. I look to my right and seen a good number of people getting into it, too; such as the guy three spaces away from me who happened to be wearing a gas mask through her set. After she closed out her set came another intermission. The next three legendary acts have yet to come into play and right behind me are three belligerent drunks (one male and two females) fighting over who bumped into who, not saying ‘excuse me’, who stood where, and lots of name-calling and f-bombs lobbed at each other’s slovenly faces. Not a dull moment so far.

Portion Control was the third and most enduring act of the festival with their debut cassette release A Fair Potion dating all the way back to 1980. I’ve constantly heard of them through new-wave, industrial, and synthwave circles. It’s my first go at them and Wow. They. Nailed. It. They became one of the very few artists I ever discovered to give me a perfect example of everything I was looking for on the very first listen. Perhaps the hungriest, meanest, and venomous act I discovered live or not. I may have caught them at their best ever and it lead me to the three Seed e.p.’s. Onstage, Dean Piavanni was a vocally sinister, persuasive, and direct force who could’ve easily taken on the audience (and would’ve won); as Jon Whybrew was on the controls transmitting ultra-energetic and juiced-up EBM and industrial techno for the small masses. It was the most exciting payout of the night so far.

If there was ‘the’ reason that attending Cold Waves was an absolute must, it was the team of former Wax Trax and Ministry members Paul Barker and Chris Connelly. They are part of the reason why everyone had some of the best moments of their lives and made for some of the greatest industrial releases ever. Billed as The Revolting Cocks Corpse and in conflict with Al Jourgensen’s version of the band, it would be their last-ever appearance. I hate to admit, a scratch off the bucket list was long overdue and years in waiting. Now, here was my chance of seeing both of them live in one shot.

Want real-deal Cocks classics? You got ‘em. Paul Barker handled his iconic bass logo-ed with the Cocks’ Beers, Steers & Queers emblem on it before kicking off with “38” and brought out former Cock (Front 242’s) Richard 23 on vocals. After that comes Connelly onstage in casual wear in a trucker hat, jeans, and a shirt that’s scrawled “Strong And Pretty” on the front, so we’re getting the nutty version of him. Then the rest of the hits came rolling in: “Attack Ships On Fire”, “Cattle Grind”, “Crackin’ Up”. When Connelly asked himself out loud what else to play, the audience yelled “Let’s Get Physical” (rest in peace, Olivia Newton John). “Well, I didn’t ask for your help!” he said coyly to all of us and we couldn’t help but to laugh. They did cap off their monumental set with “Do Ya’ Think I’m Sexy” and it felt like a dream. Connelly leans on the speakers acting all cute and blowing kisses to the crowd with a smile. Before you know it, he’s laying on the floor with arms wide open like he’s just fallen in love as Barker and company call it a night. Nothing but good times and an ultimate culmination of their Wax Trax output as I hoped for.

Finally, it was Front 242’s turn to take the stage; the apex of an already high-flying night. It would be a bittersweet performance at that as this was one of many shows on what was their final U.S. tour. Many fans thought it was because of Jean-Luc De Meyer health issues but thankfully that wasn’t the case. No matter, it was everyone’s last chance in the states to catch them before leaving North America once and for all with no turning back. I considered Front 242 to be a bonus for me as I was heavily into their pioneering Eighties material during my community college years, their later albums, and C-Tec which De Meyer took part in. I had absolutely nothing to lose seeing them live. All throughout the night I’ve seen photographers-for-hire huddle around the space in-between the rail and stage getting their dozens of shots in. For Front 242, the three-song policy got extended to four. It had to be. Warsaw security managed to catch one snap artist who didn’t know better.“No flash! No flash!” they told him as they pointed at and called him out on it. Which also begged the question: where the hell is Brooklyn’s industrial / synthwave fixture-photographer Nikki Sneakers? It’s been at least five years since I’ve seen her shooting at venues.

Front 242 played their most-recognizable and popular classics that established and pioneered EBM with “Don’t Crash”, “Operational Tracks”, “U-Men” and many more. It was all Richard 23, De Meyer, and Patrick Codenys in their unmistakable iconic tactical outfits with a shirtless Tim Kroker on live drums. They took all the power and energy they had and kept it going all the way, delivering nothing short of a rhythmic and beat-heavy experience they were known for. One funny moment to be seen was when De Meyer stood cross-armed wearing his huge shades and had such a scowl on his face, looking all bad-ass as the other three carried on. After eight or nine songs, 242 left the stage - not to lock targets and catch men - but to gear up for their first encore. We all knew there was more to come and what came was “Headhunter”, one of industrial / EBM’s most historic songs ever written. Two more songs later and 242 left the stage again charging up for another encore. As soon as we all heard the soundbyte “Hey, Poor!”, it meant only one thing: “Welcome to Paradise”. Only then was the perfect Front 242 show complete. The team of 23, De Meyer, Codenys, and Kroker took in a lengthy applause and gave a standing ovation as they all thanked New York City and bid farewell. The lights turn on for all of us to head out of Warsaw. I turn around to get going and behind me I see a female fan being consoled by her husband - and she’s in tears. Either she finally fulfilled her life-long dream of seeing Front 242 or saddened that they would say goodbye and farewell to the states, never to return.

The first five acts were amazing. It felt like I did a great service to myself in attending. I already checked off all the boxes I wanted to: take mass transit, visit Greenpoint, see Barker and Connolly play, and be associated with my kind of people. A night out in Brooklyn never fails and the thrills would still continue after the show ended. There’s always the experience of taking the alphabet and number lines - taking the ‘G’ and then the ‘7’ line to walk from 10th St. towards the Empire State Building and then arriving at Penn Station all by one-in-the-morning. Like the ride from Babylon to Penn Station, the reverse ride was quiet and not as crowded as a can of sardines. More exhilarating was the ride from Babylon back home where all the roads were empty and quiet, leading up to driving east on a wide-open Sunrise Highway at three in the morning and getting home all in 25 minutes time.

Night One of Cold Waves was now in the record books.

**********

Friday afternoon? Well, what an adventure. I had no idea that traffic was literally paralyzed on Sagtikos Parkway. It was that point where I knew it would be down to the wire getting to the Babylon station. From then on, I was finding every inch I could to cut other drivers off, find detours, and get head-starts while waiting for green lights and cursing out turtle drivers. Traffic was tight and every decision counted. One minute I thought I was going to make it and the next minute I was doubtful. South on Commack Road, down Deer Park Avenue then Route 231, and finally to Route 27A where I was only a few thousand feet away from the station. I arrive at the parking lot across from the station, bolted out of my car, ran across the street and up the stairs like a motherfucker. I finally reach the platform and - it’s taking off. Fucking great.

I had one hour until the next train to figure out how to unfuck myself and get to Warsaw in time. I tried signing up for OMNY (New York City’s wireless transit pay) months ago but was unsuccessful. Now time to try again. I downloaded the Apple Pay app- and then had to call the bank to connect my card. Now that it’s tied to my phone, I tired again to sign up for OMNY. Success! The 4:35 PM Babylon train arrives and I had 55 minutes to map out the quickest path in getting to my destination. The train arrives at Penn Station and I waste no time hauling ass to the ‘E’ line. Here we go. I hover my phone over the turnstile and - GO. Raced up and down the flights of stairs and I catch the ‘E’ train by five seconds before its doors closed. I take another 20 minutes to cool down before the transfer to Court Square / 23rd Street’s ‘G’ line. I hop off, sprint, and find the ‘G’ train that would take me to the Nassau Avenue stop, the closest one to Warsaw. It took me about two minutes and 1,000 feet to get there. I finally arrive out of breath before I go through the security checks and magic wands before entry. All clear. It’s 7:40 PM. Five minutes to go and I’m at the exact same spot I was the night before. All worship to Lucifer that I made it.

And now, night two begins.

If there was any artist to kick off Friday’s festivities that represented his hometown and carried its flag, then Confines was it. The hard-hitting, beat-heavy industrial-techno / EBM project certainly had some punch to it. Like Rein, Confines was a one-person show who did all of his instruments and movements on his own. Not bad at all. At the time of this writing I learned something about him that totally kicked me off of my seat: Confines happened to be David Castillo, co-owner of Brooklyn’s Saint Vitus bar and venue, host of the Age Of Quarantine podcast, and lead singer of Primitive Weapons. Are you fucking kidding me?! I was on the lookout to spot him at my last visit to -Vitus to see Uniform but I was shit out of luck. Now I finally found him performing at Cold Waves and didn’t even know that was him until after the fact! Fucking right. And it doesn’t stop there. I also learned that both Geography Of Nowhere 1 and Work Up The Blood was mixed and mastered by Hospital Productions’ Kris Lapke / Alberich and laid out by Sannhet’s AJ Annunziata. Wow. Talk about getting five-in-a-row on that bingo card.

Fans of Vancouver musicks enjoyed a two-for-one approaching the middle of the night’s bill. We were all treated to Leathers consisting of Shannon Hemmett (vocals), Kendall Wooding (synths), and Adam Fink (drums). For anyone who wanted the 2022’s tense of what an Eighties’ synthpop / new-wave show would look like? Well, now you have it. It was a treat seeing them perform and also seeing the slender Hemmett as an Eighties dream while Wooding and Fink played a smooth mid-tempo set. But with a wardrobe change and Jason Corbett coming into play, Leathers became Actors and Artoffact’s flagship band was the iteration that appeared on everyone’s radar as of late. They traded in their Eighties’ synthpop and new-wave cool for heavier rock. This time Hemmett took over synth duties and Wooding wielded bass as Fink stayed on drums and Corbett helped Actors push more power and electricity into their second set to keep the excitement steady from start to finish. I tried out both Leathers / Actors before and for some reason they’re not my type of heavy-rotation listening. However, there’s no denying that their talent brought them their well-deserved fanfare and exposure.

Not since Merzbow’s personnel bringing out his gear at Output have I been bracing myself with another artist’s set-up. Lighting fixtures attached all over and bulbs placed in front of huge cymbals might’ve told me that the next set would burn my eyes right off my face. Luckily, I was wrong. That was Kite’s visual set-up and a precursor to their performance. The Swedish duo of Niklas Stenemo and Christian Berg were another act I never heard anything of, and afterwards tilted me to give them a shot. Both were skilled in playing two keyboards at once (or keys- and knobs in Berg’s case) as they delivered a lively performance and Stenemo a few kicks, switching between synth-wave and synthpop. Their latest single “Bocelli” was the highlight on the night, showing their dramatics while also providing a soulful, heartfelt, and at times acclaimed power.

While Kite tore down their equipment, I thought of something. It’s been five years since I attended Hospital Production’s 20th Anniversary. I remember one moment near the end of the showcase when Bone Awl was playing their set - where all of a sudden Dominick Fernow (Prurient and Hospital- label-head) runs to the apron, stage-dives over the pit, and into the audience for a crowd-surf. It was a moment that never escaped me since then. Here I am back again at Warsaw for Cold Waves five years later and I’m at the rail for both nights. During one intermission, something dawned on me - I look at the rail, then the edge of the stage, and then the rail once again. I thought to myself: how in the fuck did Dominick have enough clearance to fly in the air, avoid banging into the rail, and land safely on top of the crowd? Good thing he successfully pulled off that spectacular feat.

Asterisk: New York City was supposed to receive Stabbing Westward as the closer to Cold Waves but had to bow out. That’s where Cold Cave gladly stepped in and ultimately sealed the deal for Cold Waves’ entire New York City stop. “Remember when we last played here?” lead singer Wes Eisold asked the audience. Yes I do, Wes. Yes I do. Seeing Cold Cave again for the second time in the same venue was another special bonus to me, and always a welcome one at that. I walk through previously-ventured territory and this time it was just as exciting as the last. All hits and zero misses from Eisold, his lady Amy Lee, and company. “Glory”, “People Are Poison”, “A Little Death To Laugh”, “Confetti”, “Rainbow Girls”, “Godstar”, “Theme From Tomorrowland”. You named it, they played it. For 50 minutes they kept a steady upbeat energy of synthwave and classic goth pedigree; not to mentions tons of smoke and fog fired towards our way to where I’m seriously considering getting myself screened. The only difference between their 2018 appearance and this one at Cold Waves? No sign of Max G. Morton, and Eisold’s heroine Genesis P. Orridge who joined him on guest vocals had sadly passed away since then.

But there was one shining onyx that fit the head jewel of the crown: when Eisold and Amy Lee brought their daughter out on stage. How fucking amazing was that? The audience collectively melted. Imagine being in your single-digits and having an amazing story to tell your friends back in school about how your rock-star dad brought you up on stage to sing for the crowd. Through their entire set, Cold Cave never let up and missed any of their targets as Eisold, Amy, and the rest played through their last encore and that’s all they wrote.

Before I knew it, it’s 12:20AM. Cold Waves in New York City was now history.

**********

I walk out of Warsaw and away from the busy volume of the patrons standing around in front of it. The night skies changed their tune to a purplish overhead. They were nice enough to wait until my moment was over to return. I’m now processing how to put the last 48 hours into words and also my place in the universe after being where I wanted to be. I head west on Driggs Street through McCarren Park weaving through the pedestrians walking towards me and observe a few small groups of people congregating and chilling on park grounds with their portable speakers. It’s only a few more blocks before I enter the ‘L’ line that will connect me to the ‘2’ line.

If only I can tell you the city’s delights that I’ve seen during my travels to Penn Station. I’ve seen female torture artists and double-pigtailed mistresses in their black onesies and shiny knee-high boots. There’s an Asian girl my height in a low-cut purple dress and her thigh is all bloodied and bandaged up; situated below her very visible purple underwear. Across from me was this gay guy who was the stunt double for The Ukiah Drag’s Tommy Conte, kissing his boyfriend on the cheek and sad-gazing in his boyfriend’s eyes who boarded off the ‘L’, but not before he blew Tommy a kiss goodbye. Another couple hopped on our crowded car. His blonde girlfriend’s neck and chest were literally covered red with hickeys and didn’t give a soaring aerial fuck about all the eyes and stares aimed at her. The ‘L’ ends and I transfer to the quick ‘2’ which only took five minutes to get me to Penn Station, leaving me with a half-an-hour wait for the Babylon train to arrive. Lather, rinse, and repeat with a left-hand forward ride to the station and another Sunrise Highway night drive back to my quiet-as-night neighborhood. A return to silent normalcy.

**********

Chicago has been widely known as the industrial capital of the U.S. It’s where Jim Nash and Danny Flescher established Wax Trax as a record store and the label that’s given birth to the careers and legacies of Ministry, KMFDM, My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult, Meat Beat Manifesto, and countless other acts. It’s also where Public Image Ltd.’s Martin Atkins created Pigface and Invisible Records and gave life to Chemlab, Damage Manual, Dead Voices On Air, Murder Inc., Ritalin, Sheep On Drugs, and Test Dept. All these artists made my identity, or part of it. Throughout the years I’ve followed all of my favorite artists and have never given up on them. They were there for me during my difficult times at community college and to this day I’ve never tired of their projects. It wasn’t until recently when I revisited the classics that I realized that these artists and labels were in my heart all along. Millions of industrialists join each other in various online groups to share their stories and live memories and say “hi!” to the many legends who lurk around and keep that cameraderie going. I see the company around me in Greenpoint who share similar interests, qualities, and aesthetics and those are the people I want to be associated with.

I thought attending just one Boy Harsher show was a rite of passage. Yes - more in the synthwave world. I’ve also attended shows for Nine Inch Nails, Ministry, and Killing Joke and that’s more than enough for me to hoist my flag for this genre. (Naysayers will wave their filthy unclean fingers at me and say “not so fast” because I wasn’t able to go to a Skinny Puppy show.) I’ve heard many great things about Cold Waves that I’d be a fool to miss out. Mutuals who went told me it’d be amazing and they were double-right. With Front 242’s final American appearances and with Braker and Connelly having to quit the RevCo name, this year was a non-negotiable. What started out as a one-night benefit and an honor of Jason Novak (Acumen Nation, DJ? Acucrack) and David Schock’s fallen friend Jamie Duffy evolved into an (almost) annual round of the best and legendary industrial, synthpop, and synthwave acts. Like my attendance with the previous Cold Cave and Black Marble shows, attending Cold Waves was a thank-you to the scene that gave me an identity but also to a certain number of acts that helped build it.

It’s been one of the best and most exhilarating moments of the year, ranking as high as Sacred Bones’ 15th anniversary. If the line-up for next year is as good or better (how could it?), then I guarantee you I’ll be returning.

#Cold Waves #industrial #synthwave #NYC #New York City #BK #Brooklyn #Spike Hellis #Rein #Portion Control #Revolting Cocks #Front 242 #Confines #Leathers #Actors #Kite #Cold Cave #personal #Long Island #omega #music #mixtapes #reviews #playlists

[stormyoceans]

Hello, did you miss me? Camboy Talay makes his comeback (without high heat because today i hope to damage your mental health with affection and a little whiff of despression. Tell me if i managed to do it). This is still my personal headcanon, can`t wait to know what you think about it, Monica. Hope you`ll enjoy.

Now, dear tumblr user anisthasiazewior, please accept my permission to write a camboy puentalay fic, the mere thought of anyone else enjoying all of this delights me to no end. I will enjoy reading your fic. But also know that I'm still going to write about them in Monica`s asks from time to time, as I do now. I don`t want to stop yet.

***

Puen felt lonely.

He was familiar with the feeling, but sometimes, when he was surrounded by crowds of people, like now, it made it even worse. He could have conversation with someone, he could drink, he could dance, he could try to kiss someone, but up to this day nobody managed to make this overpowering loneliness disappear. If he'll manage to make it go into the background and feel like a splinter that you don't know how to pull out, he'll consider this evening was lucky.

He was moving. Walked from the bar to the dance floor, then back to the bar, then approached old acquaintances and started a meaningless conversation, then went to the toilet to look at himself in the mirror, from there he headed for the back door. After making sure that there was no one around, he lit a cigarette. Stood there for a while, inhaling the air, finishing what was in his glass. Then he went back to the bar. Usually this cycle was repeated several times until he got bored or until he got drunk. Then the options could be different, sometimes he drove home, sometimes he took someone with him, sometimes he asked the driver to take him to the lake, then he could sit there all night, or take him to the observation deck oe to the roof. Somewhere where the view would be beautiful and you could look at it as much as you want.

He was in the middle of the circle, standing in the toilet, leaning back against the wall. Opposite hung a long mirror over a row of sinks, and Puen could see the usual solemn expression on his face. He closed his eyes, suddenly feeling like he needed to stay still for a minute.

Someone came into the room. Stopped. Stood there for a moment.

'Are you okay?' - an uncertain voice sounded. Puen opened his eyes. The face that he saw was new, though somehow familiar. He had a good memory, but couldn't remember when they met right now.

'Okay. I just need a minute' - Puen considered to close his eyes again, but familiar face came closer.

'You look like you're going to throw up.' - newcomer took the glass from Puen's hand and put it on the sink.

'Why don't you wash your face? It'll make you feel better.'

To answer, Puen needed a few seconds to collect his thoughts.

'I... have make-up on my face. Expensive make-up. If I wash my face, everything will smudge, and then how will i look?'

'Who cares about this?' - this made Puen froze.

'I mean. I don't think there's one sober person left, no one will notice. And shouldn't expensive make-up wash off perfectly...' - the guy got such an expression on his face as if he really thought about it, but then he shook his head and put his hand on Puen's shoulder.

'So?'

'But you will notice...' - Puen pouted. This whole situation started to amuse him. When was the last time somebody tried to take care of him like that? Usually everyone stopped when he said he was okay, but this guy was persistent.

'Uh... maybe i want to see you without make-up.' - familiar face looked away. Puen smiled.

'If you insist.' - Puen peeled away from the wall and took a couple of hesitant steps to the sinks. He rested his hips on the sink and bent down to wash his face. When he raised his face, the guy was there and washed his hands in the next sink.

'I'm drunker than I thought...' - Puen said slowly, looking at guy's hands under the running water. Elegant wrists, beautiful palms, long fingers. Although, not as long as Puen's though for sure.

'You look better now.' - the guy took a napkin and wiped his hands.

'Do you think so?' - Puen said and turned towards him, still leaning on the sink.

'Yeah, but your face is all wet now. Excuse me...' - the guy took a few napkins and started to carefully wipe water from Puen's face. Puen just stood there and let it be done. He would let this guy do anything right now. He looked at guy's pleasant face, round glasses obscuring the view a little. He would have taken them off.

'Why do you want to take them off?' - the guy looked into Puen's eyes, raising an eyebrow.

'Maybe i want to see you without them.' - preferably in Puen's apartment.

'Um. I've finished. Now we can go.'

'Where do you want to go?'

'Back to the lounge. My friends are waiting for me.'

'Ah..You can go. I'll be fine' - Puen turned back to the mirrors. So he's not alone. That's understandable. Puen suddenly felt like he needed to drink another glass of something.

'Why don't you go with me?' - the guy didn't stop looking at him. He raised his hand and wiped the drops that had fallen from Puen's face onto his neck with his wrist. Puen felt like he wanted to rub his face against this guy's wrist like a cat.

'Why?' - asked Puen in confused voice. - 'Why did you want to take such care of me?' - he didn't expect the words to come out of his mouth.

'Because... because my friend is your fan and she won`t forgive me if I leave you in this condition.'

'I'm perfectly fine.'

'Then you can tell it to her yourself, cmon..' - the familiar face took his hand and gently pulled him along. He didn't walk too fast, sometimes helping Puen if he stumbled.

They reached the table, it was a little away from the crowd, only the waiters and some guests hurriedly passed by. Two people were sitting on a bench on one side. There were an indecent number of glasses and empty bottles on the table.

'Talaaaay, why so looong..' - a girl raised her head from the table and looked at them with displeasure.

Talay. This word evoked only one association in him...

'Look who i met.' - Talay made Puen sit on the empty bench in front of his friends. - 'Didnt you tell me you wanted to hang out with him'

'P'Puen!' - she stood up abruptly in attempt to greet him but lost her balance, so Talay made her to sit down again.

'Nong'Gyo' - Puen smiled and waved at her. He remembered her. They met several times on his fan meetings. Then he saw her in the GGN building and came over to greet her. She explained that she was now working here and was leaving the position as admin of his fan page in order to fulfill her dream, but she was still going to follow his work. After thar, they managed to work together several times. Puen respected her, she was very diligent and very pleasant as a person. So he wasn't against the idea of spending the night with her and her attractive friend.

After Talay made sure Gyo wouldn't get up, he sat down next to Puen.

The person sitting next to Gyo also raised his head from the table.

'Hello, Puen, fancy to meet you here.' - Joe, their other friend, took four empty glasses and started pouring a drink there from one of the bottles.

'Here, friend, drink with me.' - he handed one of the glasses to Puen, but Talay took it first.

'Joe, isn't it enough? You and Gyo were just lying face down on the table.'

'Talay, my sweet Talay, we were just resting our eyes. And can't i drink with my friends? Let's drink one more glass, okay'

Talay clicked his tongue. He put the drink down next to him, picked up another glass and started pouring orange liquid, which he handed to Puen.

'Here, the orange juice we used to mix with vodka.'

'Is there vodka in it?' - Talay just looked at him sceptically and didn't answer before Joe got up and started clinking glasses with everyone.

And the rest of the evening has passed like this. Joe poured everyone from the same bottle, but Talay exchanged his glass of juice (was there vodka or not. Puen couldn't figure out) for Puen`s glass every time.

***

Puen dialed his driver's number. After stumbling their way out of the lounge onto the street, the four of them stood there, waiting for the car.

After drinking several glasses of water and orange juice and eating snacks, Puen felt much better and his head became much clearer. Talay, on the other hand, now needed his support to just stay upright (he wasn't that drunk, but he really wanted to lie down. And because he was so stubborn, and his friends were that drunk, it was now Puen's responsibility to not let him fall asleep on the bare ground).

'We are going to take a ride in P'Puen's limo!' - Gyo laughed happily, the guard supporting her so she wouldnt fall.

'A fucking limo?!' - Talay exclaimed very indignantly into Puen's shoulder, where his face was at the moment.

Driver opened the door and the four of them, with Puen and two guards, put three very drunk employees of the GGN company inside.

There was plenty of room, but Puen sat down near Talay, who immediately dropped his head into Puen's lap. Puen strocked Talay's hair and asked the driver to go slower.

'A limo, Puen..' - mumbled Talay. He seemed very impressed.

'It was a gift from an investor. Wouldn't it be rude if i didn't use it at all?'

'You are just making Bangkok's traffic jams worse.' - Talay took Puen's hand and put it on his hair. - 'Do it again.'

And so they got to Puen's apartment, after making a circle to take Talay's friends home.

They didn't talk about it, but Puen felt that they both didn't want to part. They went up to Puen's apartment. Puen decided to follow past Talay's advice, so they went to the bathroom. They were standing at the sink very close to each other. Puen raised his hands and took off Talay's glasses, carefully putting them aside. Finally, he could admire this lovely face. A cluster of moles on his cheeks, full red lips, almond-shaped eyes - he tried to commit it all in memory.

'You need to wash your face. It'll make you feel better.'

Talay turned around and quickly and messily rinsed his face. His bangs, neck and collar of his shirt were wet.

'Look at you..' - Puen didn't bother to take a towel, he just ran his palms over Talay's cheeks, shaking off the water, and moved them, until his hands were on Talay's neck. Talay took a step forward, depriving Puen of any personal space, their bodies pressed against each other. He put his hands on Puen's cheeks and brought his face closer to him. Puen could feel his breath on his skin.

'You look really beautiful without make-up.' - his gaze wandered over Puen's face, he looked into his eyes, then lifted it to his eyebrows, then lowered it to his lips. He started to move their faces closer, but Puen stopped him, instead making their foreheads touch.

'Talay. I promise that if you still want this in the morning, I'll do it.'

'You don't want this?' - Talay pushed their faces away. There was already desire in his eyes, but also a gentle concern and a little bit of despair. Such emotional, expressive, innocent eyes he had.

Maybe it was because Talay was a friend of people who had known him for a long time and they closely worked with him. Maybe it was drowsiness from alcohol. Maybe it was because Puen didn't feel like he needed to fill the void. Right now, he wanted to look at him for the whole night, admire his nice figure, try to evaluate who's fingers are longer without comparing them, listen to his heartbeat, stroke his hair. To touch his skin, but not in demanding way, just to find out if it's as soft as it seems. Staying like this, being close, inhaling each other, was enough for him, the pain from the splinter is forgotten.

'I want this. But now i want you to hold me more.'

Talay took Puen's palms in his own and brought them to his lips, leaving a few kisses here and on his fingers.

'Let me. Lead me.' - They reached the bedroom. Talay took off Puen's uncomfortable fashionable belt and jacket, leaving him in a tshirt and jeans. Then they fell on the bed. Talay made sure that Puen was lying comfortably, adjusted the pillow under his head. He lay on top of him, so as not to press down hard, leaning on the bed with both hands.

'Stop me if you don't want it...' - He bowed his head and kissed Puen on the cheek. He lingered here, prolonging the kiss. When he finally pulled away, he immediately kissed Puen's neck, lingering here too. Puen raised his hands and placed them on Talay's shoulders to pull him even closer, forcing their bodies to be pressed together again. Talay continued to kiss every part of him that was within his reach, he kissed his brow, nose, then moved to his neck again, kissing another side of it, then kissed his clothed shoulder, kissed the skin of the chest that was visible in the neckline. Puen ran his hands down Talay's back and put them on the small of his back, feeling the skin under the raised shirt with his fingertips. Then he just closed his eyes and enjoyed the feeling. He didn't know how much time had passed, Talay just kept caressing his skin with his lips until Puen felt a kiss on his forehead, and then lightest kiss on the lips. After that, Talay put his head on his shoulder, burying his face in it, and sighed, wrapping his arms around Puen's waist. It was the most pleasant feeling that Puen had ever experienced in his life. They remained in this position for some time before Talay lay down on his side, one of his arms still wrapped around Puen`s waist. He doze off like this, leaving Puen to admire his face, touching it with his fingertips gently, feeling the texture and connecting moles into constellations.

So i think i need to give a little explanation. This is third or fourth time they meet in person (if we don't count two times from canon in the airport bathroom and when Talay was extra in Mafia movie). This party was generally arranged by the company, on what occasion it does not matter. Suddenly, i felt the urge to explore what is Puen's life, hope it was interesting for you. About their feelings: Talay was only a liiitle bit tipsy at the start. He generally think Puen Pranon is hot and he is not against the idea to have one night stand with him. And because he actively explores this part of himself on streams, well. He saw the opportunity and he wanted to take it (I mean, he likes what he do on streams, but he started to considering idea of trying it with a man again). Puen had made a good impression on him in previous encounters, so why not? (I honestly tried to write it first, but after rewatching vice versa, i deleted almost everything 😂 because it turned out a completely different picture yk. I am trying to not make them too ooc). Maybe he even started to like Puen. but im not sure

And about Puen, well, you just read it. He feels lonely. He works hard to please his fans and his colleagues. He wears solemn expression on his face, but even one small episode of caring can melt his heart. He really yearns for emotional connection and he would take every opportunity to get it, but he thinks people really only like him for his appearance. So i think he will try to stay as good looking as possible in evey situation. And i think he divides his almost non existent personal life (where we put his communication with Sea) and his working life. So while at the party, he won't even remember about him if Sea doesn't write to him first (because he craves real emotional connection with living person, he will try to find it even if he doesn't really believe it's possible because Sea really is unreachable and because he thinks hes unlovable i guess AND because he kinda wants to think about Sea at home, where he feels safe and everything is calm and nobody wants anything from him. Does it makes sense? If Talay didn't follow him to his apartment, he would check their chat in the limo and write him first).

HI ANON HELLO I DID MISS YOU A LOT AND IM SO VERY HAPPY AND GRATEFUL THAT YOU'RE BACK TO BLESS ME WITH MORE CAMBOY TALAY AU SCENARIOS!!!!!! im also so very sorry it took me a week to reply to you ;;;;;; in my defense THIS MADE ME GO THROUGH SUCH A PLETHORA OF EMOTIONS PREVIOUSLY UNKNOWN TO MAN THAT I FEEL THE NEED TO GO BECOME ONE WITH THE EARTH EVERY TIME I REREAD IT TO TRY ANSWERING YOU. still not sure if anything coherent is gonna come out of me tbh SO I APOLOGIZE IF IM NOT GONNA MAKE ANY SENSE

actually before starting let me thank you for giving @anisthasiazewicor the permission to write her own camboy AU if she wants to!!! but im also really happy to know that you won't stop writing your own ideas because i absolutely love them!!!!

gonna put the rest of the reply under a read more because it got.. pretty long and i feel bad for people who would have to just endlessly scroll through it ;;;;;;

OKAY SO FIRST OF ALL DID I MENTION THAT I LOVED THIS SO MUCH BECAUSE I REALLY DID LOVE ALL OF THIS SO MUCH AND THERE WERE SO MANY PARTS THAT HAD ME GO STAND IN A CORNER WAILING. i really like how you described puen's loneliness at the beginning: it felt very palpable, and i can easily imagine puen having to attend some big party and just putting on his usual polite smiling face but having to take a moment for himself from time to time because it's simply exhausting, being around so many people that want to touch and talk to him but who don't really care about him at all. yes, it's part of the job, and he's grateful to it because it allowed him to survive without a family from a very young age, but sometimes it feels entirely too much to bear alone

AND THEN TALAY SHOWS UP AND I JUST [MUFFLES SCREAM INTO A PILLOW BEFORE BITING INTO IT AND SHAKING IT AROUND LIKE A CHEWTOY] GOD I LOVE THAT PART. it's such a great parallel to their first meeting (i so appreciate the fact that you made talay wash his hands this time around sfjksgdj and puen focusing on them is such a nice touch as well, because i think that's definitely one of the first things you notice when you're attracted to someone), but for some reason it also reminds me a lot of the nivea scene in episode 10, when talay asks "you can't take it when i look bad just for a second?" and puen replies "i just want to take care of you". i love that in this case puen is the one who is actually afraid to look bad and talay the one who just wants to take care of him, because i think it fits their characters really well. puen being kinda self-conscious of his appearance makes sense to me because on one hand i can imagine people always told him that a lot of an actor's image hinges on always looking good and that he had to be perfect all the time, but in a way taking his make up off means being left bare for talay to see, it means taking his mask off and being just puen, which is something that i think he craves but that also scares him a lot. AND THE FACT THAT TALAY TELLS HIM HE LOOKS SO MUCH BETTER WITHOUT MAKE-UP!!!!!! THE IMPLICATIONS!!!!!! BITING BARKING GNAWING GNASHING HOWLING

one of my favorite things is also how so very in character talay feels, how i actually know that he would worry and take care of puen and dry his face and bring him to his friends and switch their drinks to make sure that puen doesn't get more drunk even if it means talay himself is gonna get wasted instead. like yeah, we do see talay do some of these things in the show, but it's not that easy to pick the right ones and integrate them in a story in a cohesive way that also feels true to the character, so i think you did a really great job here. and i love the "talay. this word evoked only one association with him..." line as a reminder that we're still indeed in the camboy AU, it's another great touch!!!! puen fitting right in with gyo and joe is also so very important to me because that's something i like to imagine is gonna happen in canon as well, talay's friends just accepting puen in their group as if he had always belonged there, so i really appreciated this scene!!!!

another one of my favorite moments is the "It was a gift from an investor. Wouldn't it be rude if I didn't use it at all?" "You are just making Bangkok's traffic jams worse." dialogue BECAUSE THIS FEELS SO VERY TALAY TOO LIKE HE DEFINITELY WOULD SAY THAT AND IT MADE ME LAUGH AND IT ALSO HAPPENS WHEN TALAY'S HEAD IS ON PUEN'S LAP BEFORE TALAY DEMANDS MORE HAIR STROKING AND IT'S JUST!!!!!! SO GOOD!!!!!!!

AND THIS IS WHERE YOU’RE GONNA LOSE ME BECAUSE I CANNOT WRITE DOWN A SINGLE THOUGHT ABOUT THAT ENTIRE SCENE IN PUEN’S APARTMENT WITHOUT STARTING TO FURIOUSLY KEYSMASH AND WANTING TO HURL MYSELF OUT OF THE WINDOW OF A 15 STORY BUILDING. LIKE!!!!! puen no longer needing to fill the void because talay’s presence is enough to chase the loneliness away!!!!! and of course he’s still attracted to talay and would like to have sex with him after talay sobers up, but unlike with all the other people he happened to come home with, where he didn’t necessarily want them but needed the temporary connection sex brings, this time around it’s different because he actually WANTS to have sex with talay and yet doesn’t need it, not right now, because having talay next to him is already enough!!!!! puen asking talay to hold him and talay KISSING HIM WHEREVER HE CAN REACH WITH NO OTHER INTENT OR DESIRE EXCEPT GIVING PUEN THE COMFORT HE NEEDS!!!!! PUEN GETTING TO FEEL SAFE AND LOVED AND CHERISHED PROBABLY FOR THE FIRST TIME IN HIS LIFE!!!!! [SCREAMS]

I SO BADLY NEED TO KNOW WHAT’S GONNA HAPPEN IN THE MORNING THO!!!!!!!! is talay gonna wake up first and think that they slept together??? puen said that they could do it if talay still wanted to in the morning, is he gonna bring that up??? would they actually do it??? i feel like talay would get slightly self conscious again, so maybe they agree to try to hang out at least once (they don’t call it a date but it’s totally a date). OH AND MAYBE!!!! that’s when puen says something that makes talay realize puen is tun, so talay decides to distance himself from him and it just ends up being even more painful for puen because not only he’s losing the first real person who he’s ever had feelings for, but also someone who, however unreachable puen thought ‘sea’ may be, puen had come to consider as a friend and a safe space. what do you think???

to end this.. monstrosity of a reply, im just gonna say that i think it actually makes a lot of sense for puen to keep his working life and his personal life as two very separated things, because finding a balance between the two has always been a struggle for him, even in canon. at the beginning of the show the distinction between puen the actor and puen the man is very obvious (and i personally think jimmy doesn’t get enough credit for this), and the fact that his actor persona had basically buried his real self somewhere deep is one of the reasons being tun felt so freeing for him. talay was the bridge that helped these two parts of him come together and find the right balance to make puen’s identity whole again, and i think the same could be said for the camboy au. 'sea' is someone who belongs to puen the man, someone who like puen's real self is kept inside like a secret and so he's unreachable. only when puen is gonna realize that 'sea' and talay are the same person he's also going to realize that those two parts of himself can coexist and that the only way to happiness is to find the balance between them

#hey friends do you know im unwell #once again im so sorry for the late reply and if this doesn't make sense ;;;;; #i wrote it in the span of a week and in varying degrees of sleep deprivation #(the fact that i keep almost writing sleep depravation says a lot about the state im currently in) #anyway hope you're having a lovely day anon!!!! 💜 #puentalay #m: ask #long post

[luzurasdiary]

I want to like my loneliness again

I broke up with two friends a couple of months ago because they did something that hurted me a lot. The worst is that they ve been hurting me for so long but I ignored it because I didn´t want to leave them. Kinda I felt like they were the only ones who really accepted me, we had a lot in common and they listened to me about my special interests. They didn´t judge. I miss that so much.

When I was younger I used to be really lonely, I always were the weird nerd girl. I had a couple of friends who I used to talk to about some things but I never felt like they know everything because they wouldn´t get it. Also I never seen them a lot beacuse they all were from school, so in summer I was mostly alone. I didn´t just get used to it, but I enjoy must of times my loneliness. I had a lot of things to do and I was happy doing it alone, things that others maybe would made fun of. I spend my days with my imaginary friends, creating storys, reading and watching movies. I never really felt alone because I liked to be with me.

But in these two friends I found someone I could be just like I was when I were a kid and they didn´t judge. They were better than being alone, most of times. 

I fell in love with them.

We even started to... doing things that friends don´t do. I had hopes of something else, because this all was new for me and I never thought it was a game. They knew my real feelings.

The problem started when I started feeling lonely again but when I was with them. Every sleep over I started to cry, even when I was drunk, and I didn´t undestand. 

I was lonely again but I hated it. I hated myself because I thought that was just my mind. But I was right, I was being left behind. And they lied to me for two years, the two years I cried when a I was sleeping with them. They not only let me think I was being paranoic, but also started making feel like I was a kid. Like they really infantalize me and my feelings but them make do things that aren´t for kids, if you understand. I was feeling the worst. But I couldn´t stop being with them because I didn´t wanna be phisically lonely. It was killing me.

Finally I decided to cut them off. Maybe I was wrong but I don´t care. I´m feeling better and even think about su i ci de a lot less. But I still miss them so fucking much. I find myself wanting to talk about all this things I can´t talk with anyone else. I can´t enjoy them alone like I used to. Now being alone feels awful to me.

I want that kid who used to spent months with not really a lot of people besides her family and was okay with that. I want to watch movies without the need of tell someone to watch it. I want to learn everything about a random topic and don´t feel the need to have someone who listen to me. I want stop feeling like loneliness is eating me. I want to be my best friend again.

I truly think they loved me and that´s the worst part. But I can´t stand being lied, they knew that. And maybe I couldn´t stand not being loved like I wanted. Maybe I was the problem, I was making it toxic. I don´t know. 

But if I could, I would erase them from my memory because that would bring back myself who never had no one but wasn´t sad about it.

Anyway, I don´t think someone is gonna read this, I just wanna get it off my chest. And if you do it, sorry if theres any mistake, englinsh isnt my first language. and sorry if somthing does not have sense, i skipped a lot of details lol

#confession #writing #diary entry #losing friends #loneliness

[jaydenforest]

Decided to just post my newest CrossDrift fanfic here since it took alot of time to write-- Btw sorry if my writing Style is complete Sh¡t this is my first time writing 19 fanfic chapters--- 😂😭

I uh- hope you enjoy tho and maybe leave a few fanfic ideas--💅

Now onto the Cringe---

Love Hurts... 

 

Third view PoV.: 

 

Drift sat crosslegged under the Yeager Tree like he usualy would every Morning to follow his Meditation routine, but for a few Week now he wasnt able to sort out his thoughts... It became such a huge mess over the last few Weeks ever since Crosshairs brought 'his Sparkmate' home... 

Something just didnt sit right with Drift the moment he met this Femme. She just seemend so full of herself, even tho she doesnt lift a single digit to help them with litteraly ANYTHING. She wanted to be treated like Royalty and wouldnt care about anyone elses feelings... especialy Crosshairs'...

This started to really piss Drift off for some reason he himself coudlnt really explain why. But the amount of disrespect this femme shows towards litteraly everyone was just downright Disgusting. As if all others were meant to serve her at any moment she desires, but the worst thing for Drift was is how she treats Crosshairs. 

Drift never saw Crosshairs so exhausted and mentaly tired.. he wouldnt even do anything for himself anymore! And it hurt Drifts spark because he knew that that Femme was only playing with his Spark for her own sick twisted Entertainment. Oh how he hated her.

Drift could hear her scream at him. She was insulting him for Whatever reason for the 5th time today. It made Drifts spark burn knowing that Crosshairs would try anything to meet her Expectations only to get chewed out for the smallest things... The last time Drift saw Crosshairs after they were done fighting Cross' face just broke something inside Drift only fueling his burning rage for this Blasted Femme. He looked so.. hurt... he knew that Crosshairs would usually brush off a few insults thrown his way but he never saw him like this... Even tho Drift tried to cheer him up many times Crosshairs would just give a weak smile brushing him off pretending nothing happend.

Drift tried telling Crosshairs many times that she is only harming him and not doing him any good to no avail. It only broke his own Spark Day after Day seeing his Friend get tormented by someone who doesnt even deserve someone like Crosshairs... His Crosshairs..!

But he wasnt his, and Drift knew that he never will be... 

Drift recalled with a soft empty chuckle all the times Crosshairs would come to him for advice to make it up to 'Her'. Even tho SHE should have been the one Apologizing to Crosshairs for breaking his Spark again and again with no kind of Sympathy for his feelings.

But Crosshairs simply woudlnt listen...

'Don' worry mate! She just is like that!' 

Or... 

'Well i suppose ah was the Afthole in that Situation so...' 

Drift just couldnt anymore. He knew that he would get his own Spark broken if he continued to get between them but his feelings keep telling him that he cant let Crosshairs go... Not to 'Her'. 

Drift let out another deep sigh holding his Helm with one servo feeling torn and frustrated still hearing 'Her' shrill screams and insults regarding Crosshairs and his Past. A Dirty move really. 

Drift's opticbrows furrowed when he suddenly heard her screams come closer now being able to Understand what their Argument was about. 

'Oh so thats how it is HUH?! You are just going to leave again and crawl back into the Dirty hole that you came from? What a Shame! I feel bad for myself really i do! I cant even have someone up to MY Standards! And i thought you were Different 'Crossy'... but seems like you are just like the Scrap under my Pedes. GOOD FOR NOTHING. Why cant you just do me this one small favor HUH?! I dont want nothing to do with this War!' 

Drift stayed silent. He clenched his servos into thight fists, he was fighting the urge not to get up and Kill 'Her'. Yet it took every last bit of Selfcontrol to keep his mouth shut, he still decided to listen to whatever Crosshairs was goingto say having a bit of Hope left in his Spark wanting him to finally understand that 'She' isnt the one... 

'...I can't give ya watcha ya want and you bloody know this. This isnt just a 'Small Favor' ya know.. this is a Living Creature we are talking about. And ah sure as hell aint gonna bring a Sparkling into this Bloody War just because YOU dont wanna lift a single digit to help us Fight.' 

Drift froze. His Spark clenched hard. She was demanding what now...? A Sparkling..? Just because she doesnt want to fight in this War..? How cruel is this Femme..? Drift could already imagine how she would treat her own offspring, flinching at the thought of her yelling at a small newborn Sparkling... He was glad however that Crosshairs seemend to share his thought process.

Well... for now... 

'Ya probably wouldnt even care for it would 'cha..? I mean, ya already treat meh like Scrap an' ah dont wanna see a Sparkling get pulled into this aswell ya know. Just because ya are too lazy to get yo Bloody scrap togetha!' 

Crosshairs was right. She would get bored of it the moment it would cause 'problems'... demanding Crosshairs or anyone else to take care of 'her' Sparkling. It made Drift sick to the core even thinking of HER as a 'Carrier' and how poorly she would treat her own Child. 

'Oh I dont have my Scrap together?! Look at yourself Moron! What kind of low life Bot would live in a DUMP like THIS!? Oh wait!~ That must be You!~ Also i could litteraly get ANYONE else to do me this Favor!~ You were just ONE of the many Options. You are so Stupid Crosshairs! Following me like a lost Puppy its absolutly hillarious how pathetic you are!' 

Drift saw how Crosshairs flinched trying to keep the Emotions off his face but deep down he knew just how much she already broke him. He then finally had enough his Rage about to break out. He stood up and made his way over his optics flickering dangerously stepping in between Her and Crosshairs glaring at her. 

She only scoffed looking up at Drift as if he were lower then Dirt missing the dangerous flicker in his Optics.

'Drift you can probably agree with me more than anyone else here, since you were a Dirty Decepticon once let me ask you something!: Sparklings are Replacable dont you think?~ I mean, i can just get another if the first one dies or Whatever!' 

Drift simply watched her laugh at her own 'Statement'. He knew that she was indeed serious, this Femme would go every way possible to not lift a digit EVER wich is why Everyone even her own Offspring mean nothing to her. She really beliefs that this World goes her Way. She probably never even lost someone to the War, she doesnt even know what it feels like to lose something as precious as a Sparkling. And yet here she was bragging on and on that they are simply 'Replaceable'. 

Drift was about to show her who was simply 'Replaceable' if it werent for Crosshairs suddenly holding him back. Drift felt his venting stutter the moment Crosshairs started to put his arms around him, he of course knew that it was only to hold him off from doing something he wont regret later but... It made him relax and calm down the Slightest bit. But it wasnt enough to stop him from stating his own thoughts in a Cold harsh way. 

'I dont Understand what the others especially Crosshairs see in you Femme.' Drift felt Crosshairs' grip thighten the Slightest bit from his tone alone, but he wasnt going to Stop now. 

'You treat Everyone like they are Nothing, as if you are a 'Higher Being' standing over them, judging over their ways of Life or their decisions. Yet you never had to do anything in your Pathetic Existence. You are used to being treated like 'Royalty' even tho you are just a Basic Street Rat that noone would touch if you were the last piece of broken scrap on Cybertron.' 

She seemend stunned by Drifts sudden outlash against her but Drift had had enough. 'I dont know how many People you had to frag so you could have your Way from early on, but You are so used by this Point that i'm Suprised that you dont have a litter of Sparklings run around your dirty Pedes. Not that you would make a good Carrier, but because you are so careless with the life of others that you couldnt give less of a Scrap for anyone elses Feelings. I wonder how such a low life Pleasure Bot survived in the War for this Long.

She was taken a back by Drift's sudden outlash against her, yet her frown quickly started to twist back into a smirk.

'Wow Bravo. Why are YOU of all Bots being so Protective over Crosshairs tho? Do you like him or Something?~' Drift froze. He could hear his own Spark stop for a mili second only to see her Smirk widen. 'Oh~ Seems like i struck a nerve huh?~' 

Drift simply watched her laugh, waiting for whatever Crosshairs was going to say or do thinking of the Worst possible outcome the Moment Cross started to pull away. Drift turned to meet his Optics having nothing to hide anymore, even if he gets his Spark broken now atleast he wont have to fear it anymore. 

'She is correct Crosshairs. I do enjoy your presence more then i probably should.. but i cant just let her Walk all over your feelings Day after Day when i know that i could treat you better than this... I understand that we are just Friends. But i atleast want you to have someone that treats you like an equal and not like a Tool. She already stated her way of thinking towards everything around her, towards You. She doesnt... she doesnt Love you Crosshairs.. she loves the fact that she can walk all over You..'

Drift didnt even realize that he started to shake, looking more towards the Ground then up at Crosshairs feeling ashamend of his own feelings that he kept hidden for so long. That he swore to never tell a single Soul about. And yet.. here he is.

Crosshairs just looked at him stunnend but he wasnt saying Anything wich made Drift only more and more Anxious while he could still hear her mocking words in the Background of being 'Unlovable'. 

'Drift are ya Serious with meh right now? Ah dont think ah'm up 'fer more Jokes right now...' Drift slowly turned his gaze upwards again meeting Cross' optics seeing how filled with sadness they are, only waiting to be hurt again. Drift took in a shaky vent his fists still trembeling from Anger, Sadness and Anxiety. 

'I am Serious Crosshairs. I dont know how Someone could joke about something like this, well except for Her. But ive felt this way for Years.. i know that i'm not good enough, that i never can make you truly happy, but seeing how this Femme treats you just makes my Energon boil... I- I just want her gone. She just- doesnt deserve you!...' 

Drift could still hear her Arrogant bragging and insults towards him now but he just couldnt let her Continue to hurt his Friend. Drift was expecting litteraly anything to be thrown his way, Insults, Shameful words, Anything! But... instead Crosshairs just hugged him. Crosshairs had a thight hold on Drift's frame not allowing him to Move, yet Drift didnt mind, he could feel Crosshairs' servos shake like his own.

'Drift... Ah don' know if ah can immediatly start a new Relationship, but ah trust ya... More than Anyone else in this Blasted world. Ya were always there when ah was at mah lowest, and ahm sorry that i didn' listen to ya earlier, Heh.. turns out i was used yet again ey...? Ah should be used to it by now but Ah truly believed tha' Someone else could finally Love Someone like me.' Drift started to hug him back afraid that any moment he would pull away again but he didnt, instead Cross smiled weakly at him. 

'Wha- What the hell is this supposed to be Huh?! Crosshairs get the frag away from this bloody Bastard! I'm your Sparkmate not this filthy piece of Trash!' 

Crosshairs growled sending a shivver down Drift's spine when he suddenly pulled away a bit, for a moment Drift was afraid but then he did something that he didnt see coming. Crosshairs cupped his scarred cheek in the most gentle way possible giving him a soft Smile before pulling him closer, their Lips meeting graceful in the Middle. Drift felt his Spark explode with Emotions hoping that this wasnt some kind of Dream, stunnend for a few seconds before kissing him back putting his own servo over the one holding his Cheek. 

Drift knew that Crosshairs would have to take his time before they get Serious, but he was glad that he finally understood that She wasnt the One for him. And the longer they stayed in Eachothers arms he hoped that he can treat Crosshairs the way he deserves, and make him Happy, to get him to Smile again and become his old Crazy self. 

 

Love hurts but for Crosshairs, Drift would take any kind of Pain...

Even deal with a Salty Ex...~ 

#crossdrift #transformers crosshairs #transformers aoe #transformers drift #transformers #crosshairs #drift #fanfic #cringe #im sorry #wheezing

[maiverie]

hihi mai !! hope ure having a great day/night whenever you read this <33

first of all i wish u all the jungwon and hee pcs you want 🙏🙏 also i just feel bad for getting sunoo bc my friend loves him sm but i’m a fucking sunoo magnet 😭😭 i thought i broke my sunoo curse with m:d1 but he came back in my d:d,,, needless to say my friend was vv jealous 😭

also my bias is sunghoon and my bias wreckers r jake and jungwon plus maybe riki ? i just consider them all my bias line hehe^^ funny story but ive stanned enha ever since i-land and sunghoon’s been my bias ever since !! i genuinely had the biggest crush on him back then (still do tbh) and i voted for him sm along with jake + jungwon 😭 it’s been so long but i still love hoon sm it’s crazy,,,

i was actually surprised when they announced jungwon as leader back then but rn he’s def one of the best leaders !! he maintains such a good relationship with the members and with engenes i love him so much 😭😭 he’s been biaswrecking me sm these past few days (even tho his live distracted me from completing my assessments…)

also i’ve been keeping up w/ &audition !! if u watch i’d love to talk abt it hehe but my fave is jo !! he’s so cute i hope he makes it 🤞

i’ve been doing better these days !! i’ve gotten a bit busier as well but i always end up procrastinating,,, i’ve been getting rlly good marks on my assessments which boosts my mood a lot so hopefully i can keep that up^ anyways i hope you’re doing well !! pls take care of yourself and stay safe <3 i never feel obligated to talk to you and i rlly enjoy reading ur replies ! love you <33

- sunrise anon

hi sunrise anon my love!!!!! alksdjf thank you so much for ur wishes BAHAHHA i will defs be buying some more hee & jw pics,, literally my two faves i love them so much T^T

hasdhhdsa not u being a sunoo magnet AHFWEHH HIS SELFIES ARE FR SO GOOD THO,,, i love that boy so much i can literally feel his energy through his pcs istg 😭 and pLS U SHOULD DO TRADES W UR FRIEND AHHSFDH

omg you've biased sunghoon since iland?!?!? :00 stop that's literally so cute lakjfwljkjea you're his biggest supporter T^T i stanned them after iland so im so jealous that you got to be a part of that,,, like omg you're literally seeing them grow and flourish !!!

HES REALLY THE BEST!! couldn't imagine anyone else leading enha,, like jungwon has a certain confidence to him that i really love. he's constantly surprising me in the best ways i love him so much :<<

OOOOH I ACTUALLY DON TKNOW VERY MUCH ABOUT &AUDITION BUT PLS DO HELP ME GET TO KNOW THEM !! i know a few faces and names here and there but haven't really looked much into them. their SONG IN YT WAS RLLY GOOD THO IT WAS SO CUTE THE LIL HOMEMADE MV??? JKFAEWKL THEYR EADORABLe!! i also saw their cover of future perfect on tt,,, they're so talented and good at dancing wth

edit: i was literally thinking about trainee boys and suddenly was like wtf WE WERE TALKING ABT &AUD NAJCJSHWJJD BYE IM SO SORRY HAHDJSHDJSS

AAA IM SO HAPPY TO HEAR ABOUT UR ASSESSMENTS!! CONTINUE SLAYING U GOT THIS <33333 MWAH

#ask #@ : anon ♡︎ #sunrise anon ☆

[yandere-daze]

Hey!! can I please request a Ruggie Bucchi with the prompts Temperance, The Hanged Man and Strength? :)

You certainly can!! Sadly I´m so late with this that your account is deactivated now but maybe you´re still around with a new account so I hope you´ll still get to read this even now ^^

I haven´t written a yandere Ruggie before so this was something new for me as well, but I do enjoy a challenge from time to time 😏

tw yandere, obsession, possessiveness

Temperance - What made this person yandere for their darling?

Ruggie grew up in a very bad environment and as such he had to work hard for every little scrap of something he had wanted. The world was cruel to him and as such he had to use very trick in the book to survive. He doesn´t like talking about his rather dark past but it has definitely shaped him as a person in a major way.

Which is why when you come along, kind and gentle and without any ulterior motives behind your good deeds, it doesn´t take long for Ruggie to fall for you. He quickly gets attached to you, the first person truly talking to him as an equal and not wanting anything in return.

You´re too good for a world like this, Ruggie quickly decides, and you need someone to protect you from all the shady people attending this school. And who would be better equipped for that than him?

His obsession would actually start surprisingly quick compared to some other yanderes where it would take a lot of time spent together to awaken that twisted part of them. No, Ruggie knows that if he wants something, he has to fight for it with everything he has.

You´re the first good thing that has ever happened to him and as such he´s not willing to ever let go of you. He realizes that he has to do anything in his power to keep you by his side forever before someone else tries to steal you away

The Hanged Man - Is controlling their darling important? Or do they want their darling to love them willingly?

Ruggie is only controlling in the way that he would want to be by your side preferably 24/7. It´s what he needs to do to remind his mind of the fact that you are still safe and sound and not leaving him anytime soon.

I think he would definitely want his darling to love him willingly. He´s no stranger to fake kindness that was bestowed to him in the past only to be stabbed in the back in the end. He wishes that at least the person he wants to spend the rest of his life with would love him earnestly and truly. He´s very good at spotting liars as well so there would be no point in trying to fake your affection for him, Ruggie would see right through you and be very disappointed.

He wants you to love him freely, he wants you to love him for who he is. Unconditional love is the one thing he truly craves deep down

Strength - How outwardly passionate is this yandere around their darling?

Very passionate in his own way I would say! I can´t imagine him as being very vocally affectionate with his darling but he´s very big on acts of service and physical touch! It´s something Ruggie is very badly deprived of and he just really longs for you to hold him and not let go.

To that end, you would often find him clinging to you almost desperately, so unlike his usual mischiveous personality that everyone else knows him by. He likes any kind of physical touch and also doesn´t shy away from pda. Why should he care if others feel uncomfortable because of your love? They all don´t really matter to him anyway so they may think whatever they want! Let them be jealous over his amazing s/o!

You may also call him a bit territorial as he greatly dislikes anyone else being given affection by you, You would have to listen to him loudly complain if your attention wasn´t on him for a long time too.

“Why are you hanging out with Ace and Deuce again? Don´t you want to spend some time with me instead? You know I´m way more fun than them anyway!”

#twisted wonderland #twst #ruggie bucchi #ruggie x reader #yandere twst #yandere ruggie bucchi #ruggie bucchi x reader #yandere ruggie #yandere ruggie x reader #yandere ruggie bucchi x reader #twst ruggie #yandere twisted wonderland #yandere #cw yandere #twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #yandere twst x reader #yandere twisted wonderland x reader #savanaclaw #cw obsession #cw possessiveness #male yandere #yandere boy #yandere x reader #male yandere x reader #gn reader

[decadeyellow01]

Everything you Don't Know About Show May Shock You

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This, too, is being human. Therefore it? s merely human nature of which clients, and almost all the lawyers who can, will avoid discovery whenever they will can (and, sometimes, even when they will shouldn? t). Of which? s also human nature. Therefore-human nature appearing what it is-the party seeking typically the court? s aid in enforcing discovery, in apparent conformity using the rules, specifically Rule 201(k), specifically when represented simply by an Edward Haskell, Esq., will, at least at first of all, command the court? s sympathy. 안전한 카지노사이트 In the event that your trial is being held outside of southern Nevada, the Las Vegas lawbreaker defense attorney will charge for the time of travel. And even we also know that most-the overwhelming vast majority of-civil cases are really disposed of without trial. Even when some damaging stuff sometimes remains buried during pre-suit analysis, cases don? to typically arrive in court without both equally sides currently knowing quite a bit, good and bad, concerning the controversy. When you desire in order to have usage of the big selection involving Traditional decorations, nevertheless you don? to have access in order to a neighborhood Holiday retail store, make an attempt to give online shopping a lot of believed.

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#카지노사이트 #안전한 카지노사이트 #에볼루션카지노 #카지노사이트 주소 #카지노사이트 추천

[aroseinasnowstorm]

Hellooo, i read your hellsing HC and fell in love🤧🤧💞💞

could you please write some Alucard x Reader, where the person is like a very calm and reversed human, always with a neutral smile on their face and anxious about everything? (always worrying about alucard and making sure he feels loved and safe! they are the master of fluff💖).

Also, the plot twist would be that: once you prokove them, they will drop down their anxiety and kill you on the spot, like a mama bear protecting her cubs (although i wouldnt say alucard is a cub😅).

(they also enjoy reading books with alucard and engaging in philosophical conversations)

*BREAKS IN THROUGH THE WINDOW*

YOU SUMMONED ME?!

No seriously, you say Alucard and I appear-

Also, that description is dangerously close to my personality. I feel called out, especially the philosophical conversations-

I will always be soft for Protective Reader x Powerful Character who is more than capable of protecting themselves- dsfiobfiuf

TW: Slight stalkerish behavior, reader is quite anxious, Alucard gets turned on by readers overprotectivness

Alucard x Reserved!Reader

- Okay so the first time you meet, you are not as afraid as he expected you to be. Before you even interacted with one another this vampire watched you from the shadows (he was curious about you and we all know that Alucard can be socially awkward sometimes, don´t blame him-)

- When he showed himself to you for the first time he did not hold back, sharp teeth formed into a smirk, glowing red eyes staring at your form and you swear you could have seen some of his shadows twitching behind him. Yet you kept calm, you weren´t as scared as he expected (and maybe kind of hoped) you to be.

- Still, you were pretty closed off at first, keeping a healthy distance from the vampire but still, your actions felt warm to him and this only lured him closer to you. Alucard himself is someone who takes his sweet time to get used to a new person and so are you, so neither of you minded to take it slow.

- He was a bit confused as he discovered your anxious nature. What do you mean you aren´t afraid of him but worried about literally anything else? He isn´t sure if he should feel honored or insulted-

- You are welcome to vent to him about anything. No matter how little, no matter what exactly causes you to worry, he will always be there for you. Maybe he won´t be able to help but that doesn´t mean he won´t listen to you.

- He is also great at distracting you. Alucard is also more than willing to go anywhere with you if new places or people scare you for example. Your worries are easier to forget when you have a giant vampire on your side I presume-

- He really welcomes your calm nature. As we all know, Alucard tends to be a bit... over the top sometimes, especially during battle. If he returns home, still furious from whatever fight it´s your presence alone that helps him a lot. You feel like an anchor to him and his intense emotions.

- He also loves the fact that you are so interested in philosophy and deep talks. I believe Alucard is someone who needs some mental stimulation in his relationship. Don´t be confused if he will just randomly ask you deep questions about your existence as a human being, he really is curious about your opinion. He will always value your words, even if you both don´t share the same ideals about something, he is very respectful.

- Alucard is a bit confused as you display your intense care for him. He isn´t used to anyone being so... worried about him. It takes him some time to get used to it and understand that your words aren´t hollow but actually filled with love towards him. Sometimes he can´t help but find it amusing though that you, a soft little human, are worried about him, the king of all vampires.

- Don´t get me started on him returning home from an intense battle, all wounded. He is just exhausted, mind you, we all know how strong his regeneration powers are but you can´t help but worry. As you care for him though like a mother would for a toddler he can´t help but laugh and pull you very close to his body, almost purring.

,,Are you certain that you are the human in this relationship, dear? I almost feel like you are the vampire worried about their little human who got sick~"

- Don´t let his teasing fool you though. He loves it when you care for him. It makes him feel very loved by you and like he is allowed to be vulnerable.

- If you ever show him that side of yours that is willing to actually kill to keep him safe because that´s how protective you actually are of him? Hey I am not the one saying he would fall on his knees, all amazed, and worship the ground in front of you but he would- dsafibsdiubd

- To be honest, he would totally get turned on you by you dropping all of your fears and actually become aggressively protective to the point of you being willing to kill someone

#hellsing #hellsing ultimate #alucard #hellsing alucard #hellsing x reader #hellsing headcanons #alucard x y/n #alucard headcanons #alucard x reader #alucard imagine #alucard x you #alucard x reader hellsing #Alucard imagines #hellsing ultimate x reader #hellsing ultimate headcannons #hellsing ultimate alucard #hellsing manga #Hellsing x reader #x reader #gender neutral reader #female reader #male reader #headcanons

[random-yandere-fandom]

Hey, can I request a Platonic Yandere!Melodias with a child he had with Elizabeth before she died? Sorry if you don't do platonics!

Of course you can! I hope you like it! I don`t have any experience with writing platonic yanderes and before I knew it I had written more than I had planned for the backstory, so... this is all that happens before the main story of Seven Deadly Sins. Btw. I`m gonna assume you meant the first time Elizabeth died.

Platonic yandere Meliodas with his child

So it`s very likely that the first few months you had both, your mother and your father. There was a war raging on but they still somehow managed to drown you in love and affection. Your parents were very protective of you back then, too. You were a hybrid and while many people of Stigma could ignore your demon genes, especially because your mother is Elizabeth, there were still a lot of glares sent your way. Nevertheless you were raised with much care and love.  

You were barely a few months old when Elizabeth was murdered and both your parents cursed. Meliodas woke up to your confused cries only to discover Elizabeth’s corpse holding your small body in her arms protectively. How you got there was a mystery, they had made sure that you were safe and secure while they would fight, not only for themselves or peace but for your right to exist. He was devastated, grief washing over him as he had to take you from her, what he assumed, last embrace. 

He wandered aimlessly for a while, making sure you were well-fed and in good health, playing with you and hoping that he`d make a good parent. You were his only source of joy and he almost burst into tears when you said your first words, took your first steps or did just about anything. Hide and seek or tag were ordinary pastimes, but your sparkling eyes and joy were contagious and Meliodas found himself enjoying such regularities. When he talked to others he was almost always asking for tips on parenting or where the next food source was. Meliodas never staid long with these people, fearing that they`d somehow harm you. However, he let you play with animals he deemed safe. Should they try anything funny he`ll simply send them a glare, frightening them into obedience.   

It was about that time that he met Elizabeth`s first reincarnation. He was carrying you and when you pointed up, babbling and laughing, he followed your gaze to meet hers. Happiness, relief, glee. Those feelings overwhelmed him and before he knew it he tried to hug her with one arm, balancing you on the other. The rejection was harsh, but he managed to stick by her side. Whenever he had doubts that this wasn`t really Elizabeth he would simply watch her play with you, the two of you having naturally bonded in no time and his doubts would disappear. Meliodas and Elizabeth fell in love again and all seemed well. 

You grew up well in the warrior tribe your mother belonged to. They treated you well, even though you couldn`t help feeling isolated from them with the way your father would sometimes usher you away from them. But it was fine, you were happy. Meliodas would train you on how to control your powers as well as how to defend yourself while Elizabeth showed you how to distinguish between plants and how to cook. You knew that you had lived off of meals made by your father before but you feared the day that would ever happen again. So you studied how to save any dish, no matter how horrible. 

You were a few years older now and you noticed something off about your father. There seemed a sadness to him, one you only understood later on. You were already entrusted with the secret of your mothers rebirth and you had no problem with that, you were simply grateful, happy that you had a close bond with her despite her not remembering your earliest months and I mean, you didn`t either. 

When Elizabeth showed signs of regaining her old power both you and Meliodas were elated. Only later did you two realise that it wasn`t a joyful occasion as you watched your mother die in front of you. Before you knew it your father had covered your vision, holding you close as tears streamed from both of your eyes. You were a happy family, so why had your mother died again? 

Going back to wandering, you and your father were alone again. He was spoiling you, anything you wanted you got, being showered with affection and praise was the norm. When there was something threatening you, Meliodas took care of it swiftly. Only sometimes would he search for an enemy for you to fight together, though he`d make sure you wouldn`t even be so much as grazed. You wouldn`t get attached to anyone else, leaving the new place before any ties could be made. Your dad made sure that no one would dare to get close to you. 

By the time you met your mother’s second reincarnation you were a teenager and it was quite the experience. People would assume you and your father to be siblings and you never stayed long enough to correct them. You couldn`t do that here. No, not if you wanted to have your mother-daughter relationship. So the two of you decided to tell her that the both of you weren`t human, you wouldn`t tell her what exactly you were but yes, Meliodas was in fact your father. And later on yes, you`d love to call her mom.

It didn`t take long for the curse to activate and by the third reincarnation you and your father became aware of its full extend. You had a mental breakdown, damned to watch your mother die over and over again. Meliodas wasn`t feeling any better but he comforted you nonetheless. He never wanted to see you in that state again but he couldn`t bring himself to forbid you and him to seek out Elizabeth. So he promised you that day that you two would never separate, that he`d be by your side forever. 

Like this, centuries passed. You would meet your mom, sometimes even as a child, spend some happy years together before she was taken from you again. Your father would always make sure to be there for you but he was hesitant to letting you make any acquaintances. there were only few exceptions to who you could interact with regularly. One would be Merlin who you soon viewed as part of your family, an older sister figure of sorts. 

Life was fine, the two of you living with Liz in a small kingdom, Meliodas was a well respected knight and you were his apprentice, going with the story of you two being siblings. Until Fraudrin appeared, at least. He took you by surprise, injuring you and murdering Liz. Your dad went ballistic and the next thing you knew you were in Liones, your mother`s next reincarnation being nothing more than a small child. 

From then on you were only allowed to walk around with at least one of the other sins. You weren`t an official member but you accompanied them and occasionally fought alongside them. One of their orders was to never let you get hurt and they followed that one almost religiously unless they wanted their cheerful Capatain to turn livid and everything close by wiped of the face of earth. 

When the country turned against you knights and Merlin sealed his powers you just barely managed to get him out of there and into a cave where you met a new companion, the talking and ever hungry Hawk. Planning to reunite with the momentarily disbanded group you opened a tavern, your father in charge of drinks and serving while you cooked, refusing to let anyone taste the hell your father called edible and he didn`t argue, preferring to keep you from those drunkards either way. . 

Work starting in the evening and ending late at night, gathering any kind of information before going to sleep and then spending some quality time with your father which included hunting ingredients for various dishes. It was peaceful for a few years but before you knew it you stood across from someone in quite the impressive armor, Meliodas shielding you protectively. Anyway, that`s how you met your mother again.   

#yandere #yandere x you #yandere x reader #platonic yandere #yandere seven deadly sins #yandere seven deadly son x you #yandere seven deadly sins x reader #yandere seven deadly sins meliodas #yandere nanatsu no taizai #yandere nanatsu no taizai x you #yandere nanatsu no taizai x reader #yandere nanatsu no taizai meliodas #yandere meliodas #yandere meliodas x you #yandere meliodas x reader #yandere demon #yandere demon x you #yandere demon x reader #familial yandere #yandere father