#i get so high everytime ahaha

[workof-tortured-poetsdepartment]

dont blame me love made me crazyyyy

#i get so high everytime ahaha #taylor fucking swift #reputation

[rrxnjun]

where do broken hearts go? [lmk]

you know what they say about past lovers that can remain just as friends - either they're still in love with each other, or they never were in the first place.

pairing: mark lee x fem! reader

genre: exes to lovers. angst, fluff.

wc: 12k (11.926)

warnings: mention of sex, weed and alcohol, heartbreak, swearing, park jihoon of treasure is one sassy bitch and also accidentally somehow the main character of this fanfic plz dont @ me, inconsistent writing style bc i took 3 months and 3 depressive episodes to finish this fic

playlist: where do broken hearts go - one direction / too good to say goodbye - bruno mars / everytime - ariana grande / closer - waterparks / tornado warnings - sabrina carpenter / survive the night - the boyz

a/n: hey do some of you still remember me..... AHAHA tell a friend to tell a friend rrxnjun is BACK! this fic isn't the ideal vision i had in my mind but we are working on not being so hard on ourselves with our writing so! here we are. i still kind of like it :,)

When you walk up to your best friend’s apartment one day with a tub of ice cream under your arm and the biggest pout on your face, Park Jihoon makes a complete list of things you should do to get over your failed relationship with Mark Lee. And while you think your dear friend has some psychopathic tendencies sometimes, you’d say the list is actually pretty reasonable of him. 

There’s something about the five simple steps that makes you wonder if it’s really as easy as Jihoon makes it sound. And while you doubt it– because the pinging pain in your heart makes it seem like the heartbreak is truly going to kill you in a few minutes if you don’t do something about it– you give it a try, because come on… you’d do anything to not feel like this ever again.

Step one – cry it out.

“He was a cunt anyway,” Jihoon mutters as he steps into the living room with two spoons in his hands, throwing one of them to you– while almost managing to hit you in the middle of your forehead in the process, adding a concussion to the mix of problems you have going on right now– and you find yourself furrowing your brows at his hateful comment.

“Why’d you say that?”

“Well, as your best friend, I’m supposed to be on your side, no?” he says as he takes a seat on the sofa next to you, watching as you wrap one of the thick blankets you got for the male around your figure– you bought it mainly for yourself, because his apartment is cold as a freezer and you knew he wouldn’t buy one for you to use in the first place– and shrugs. “Besides, he broke your heart, and any male who does that is a cunt in my eyes.”

“I broke up with him,” you mourn, “so I broke my own heart,” you snicker, despair fully filling you up from the inside– fitting everywhere into your lungs and choking you up from how bad you truly feel. Now, this isn’t your first breakup– you’ve had your fair share of boyfriends in high school (in your baddie era, as Jihoon called it), but Choi Yeonjun from Maths class and Jung Woonyoung, the guy you dated for a total of 2 months over the summer break before he moved away, weren’t exactly boys you found yourself falling in love with. Sure, you liked them, you kissed them and went on dates with them– hell, you even hooked up with Yeonjun once before you realized the relationship truly wasn’t for you– but no one managed to cave into your heart just as much as Mark Lee, your first college boyfriend did.

“But you sure had a reason for it, come on!” Jihoon huffs, taking the tub of ice cream from your hands and opening it for you, since you’ve gotten quite weak from the lack of sleep and nutritions ever since the break up, hands clammy and not cooperating. “You don’t just break up with someone to break your own heart. He did that, that’s why you said goodbye to him,” he says before sitting the enormous tub of ice cream between your two bodies, nudging you to dig into the frozen delicacy.

“Yeah, but–”

“No buts, young lady. We are here to make you forget you ever even dated Mark Lee, so open up, eat the ice cream and focus your attention on Titanic so you can finally cry it out,” he says, and by the tone of his voice, you’d think he’s angry with you. Jihoon has this aura around him that makes you think he’s always at least a little annoyed at everything– but he told you to not mind it and that it’s just his sassy bitch attitude. 

He does have a point, though. You broke up with Mark because he broke your heart first– there was no other reason for it. If it was something minor, something small, you were sure you could work on it. You have, numerous of times before, brought up something and had a mature conversation about it– something you always so admired about Mark, being so cautious and understanding when navigating problems in the relationship– but when you bring up the same thing over and over, and it never gets fixed despite him telling you he’ll try harder next time, you think you’re allowed to feel a little heartbroken at his nonexistent efforts. And that’s exactly why you decided to quit the relationship– after a while, you felt like you were putting in more effort than he was, effectively making you feel like he’s not even that interested in dating you in the first place.

First, he just told you he was forgetful. He forgot he promised to pick you up from class one day– and you said that it’s okay, he is busy, after all– and it was the first time it happened, so you didn’t really mind that much, truly. Then, he forgot about the date you scheduled– but it was fine, because you didn’t have reservations anyway, you could change the day to any other day of the week, after all. He kept forgetting the stuff you told him in between the conversations you shared– and it was small things, you understand, but sometimes, you wondered if he was ever really listening to you at all. 

Forgetful soon turns not interested in your eyes, and when he doesn’t call you in the evening like he promised he would, when he doesn’t show up to the party you invited him to, because he forgot it was that day, you’re one step closer to calling it quits, because each and every one of these situations sends a sharp pain into your stomach. The last straw was just last week, though– and realistically, it was an important day, as much that you thought the day is somehow gonna fix everything, but the truth is somewhere completely else as Mark Lee forgets about your one year anniversary and never shows up at your doorstep for the dinner you prepared for the two of you like he promised he would. 

And it doesn’t click in him two days after either– you don’t even get a text. He got so forgetful over time that he forgot about you completely, and that’s when you took an uber to his place and broke up with him for good.

And even though the breakup was the most painful thing you’ve ever felt yourself go through, Jihoon is right– you’re not the one that broke your own heart. Mark Lee did that for you many times before, and this was just the breaking point.

“Fucking hell, you bought cookies and cream again?” Jihoon huffs when he takes another spoonful of the ice cream into his mouth, eyebrows furrowing at the sweet taste. Looking at him from the corner of your eye, you wipe your left cheek as you hum, immune to his nagging by now.

“You know I hate cookies and cream!”

“You know, Hoon, I bought this for myself. When you’re the one that’s heartbroken, we’ll share your favorite ice cream flavor instead,” you mumble, munching on the coldness on your tongue, sniffling a little when your eyes avert to the TV screen.

And after that, the teasing from your best friend’s side stops. Maybe it’s just because he hates to see you cry– and he rarely gets the chance, if you’re being honest, since you’re pretty good at handling your emotions– but you secretly know that it’s because when he looks back at the TV screen in front of the two of you, the sad part of the movie hasn’t even started yet and the tears are not the result of the movie, but of your own thoughts instead.

Step two – give him back all of his stuff and the stuff he’s given you that reminds you of him. Demand that he does the same.

Now, step two was a thing most couples do when they break up. Realistically, it makes sense– you wouldn’t want stuff that’s not yours just laying around, and also, it’s just bound to remind you of the person you lost. Naturally, you’d want to return it.

“Why does he have to return my things as well?” you mutter under your breath as Jihoon helps you fold all Mark’s hoodies into a cardboard box, alongside with wrapping the little things your ex boyfriend made out of ceramic for you in tissue paper like you asked him to– even though he complained and said that it shouldn’t matter to you if they break, because you are the heartbroken one– but you held those little things too close to your heart to let them get damaged in the first place.

“Because that’s how it works,” Jihoon hums, watching as you throw another one of Mark’s shirts onto the top of his head, shielding his vision. “What, you don’t want your stuff back?”

“I mean…” you mumble, deeply considering of the fact that the thought of getting your stuff back didn’t even cross your mind until now, before you realize your favorite pair of socks is thrown somewhere in Mark’s drawers– the blue ones with peaches on them– and you suddenly have the revelation that while you don’t necessarily need the stuff back, you’d love to wear those socks again. “I guess…” you note as you walk over to Jihoon and take a glance into the full cardboard box, looking over the stuff and chewing on the inside of your cheek.

“It’s like witchcraft, y’know,” Jihoon points out, looking at you with fierce eyes mirroring the stupid idea that just flashed through his brain, “if you don’t exchange the things, a piece of you is still kept at his apartment and you won’t be able to move on.”

And again, Park Jihoon does have psychopathic tendencies, but he may be onto something here. So you listen to him as you nod along and close the cardboard box, ready to drive over to Mark Lee’s apartment and drop off the things you’ve collected from him for the past year. The box includes all of the clothes messily scattered across your drawers and your closet, the picture frame of you two together that you always had on your night stand, the ceramic bowls and a little tiger sculpture he made for you when he took a pottery class with his friend Renjun, and the lost guitar pics you found under your bed and at the very top of your bookshelf from when he used to bring his guitar along and play you songs on rainy afternoons. The only things of Mark’s that you kept were the love letter he gave you for your birthday and the USB with his cover of Justin Bieber’s Off my face on it that he shyly gifted to you on one of your dates; but you would never tell Jihoon that in fear of him getting rid of those most precious memories for you.

It’s good to let go, but you don’t think you’re wrong for wanting to keep something to remind you of the good times. The times you still felt loved by Mark.

“Off we go,” you say, standing up and bringing the box towards your front door, your best friend at your feet. He promised to drive you to Mark’s place– you think he’s worried about you meeting your ex-boyfriend face to face for the first time since the break up, but he said it’s because you’re too broke to Uber all the time, efficiently throwing all the considerate thoughts you were accrediting him out the window– and after a few minutes of the drive, you find yourself standing on the doorstep of Mark Lee's apartment.

Taking a deep breath in and out, almost chickening out with the flood of thoughts and excuses you could say to Jihoon when you come back to his car with the box still in your hands– sayings like “he wasn’t home” or “he didn’t want those back”, the latter stupider than the first– you decide to face your problems head-on and finally knock on the mahogany door, waiting for Mark to answer. And he does– of course he does, because he’s always home, and as his ex-girlfriend of one year, you're painfully aware of the fact– but when that happens, you feel your heart falling all the way down to your stomach, crushing you and suddenly making it hard for you to breathe. 

“Um… hi,” he greets you, voice a little groggy, as if he hasn’t spoken in a while– and when you meet his eyes, the deep chocolate orbs you always found yourself admiring and writing silent odes to in your head, you quickly glance away in fear of staring into them for too long and making decisions you wouldn’t like to make.

“Hi,” you awkwardly greet back, clearing your throat and moving a little in your place, shifting the weight from one foot to the other. You're surprised you're able to keep up with the conversation, thoughts running in your brain faster than you can comprehend them, heartbeat ringing in your ears from the unexpected anxiety. Maybe Jihoon was right and you should've taken a shot before coming here– at least you'd have more courage and social skills clearly needed for this kind of interaction. “I… brought you back your things,” you say, finally looking up at the male and chewing on your lips, letting out an awkward, tense laugh when he stares at you with an empty look, “figured you’d want them back,” you add, watching as the male opens his mouth and closes it in what seems to be shock before he presses his lips tightly together and nods at you.

“Uh, yeah,” he says, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly as he watches you clumsily hold up the cardboard box to him, ready to leave his stuff there with him and escape as fast as you can, not really minding how you'll get back to Jihoon's car– if jumping down the window of the entrance hall is the fastest option, you're ready to get to it. The truth is, everything is starting to get a little too hard to bear– his familiar scent filling your nose, the hoodie he wore to your first date enveloping his figure, his messy hair reminding you of the many times you brushed your fingers through it in attempts to smooth it down. It’s only been two weeks since you last saw him, but it was starting to feel as if you forgot about him already and were now relearning all the things you once fell in love with again, looking at him in the same light, yet noticing him and all the small details a little bit differently. “Thanks, I… I actually, uh… I have your stuff here too, so if you want it back I’ll– I can just–”

“Y-yeah,” you nod, almost a little too eagerly, “that would be… cool,” you say, trying hard to ignore the fact that he had your stuff packed too, intending to give it to you, and the crashing reality that comes with it, telling you he was prepared to do this before you were and how it’s making you feel kind of shitty.

Mark moves further into the apartment, the sound of him dropping the box to the floor filling your ears before he’s back at the door in no time, a similar cardboard box in his hands that he offers to you with a tense smile on his face. “Wanted to bring it around so I had an excuse to see you, but you, uh… beat me to it, I guess…” 

Looking at him as you take the box out of his hands, gaze as if to tell him not to say such words to you when you’re still so fragile to his effect, you only nod and mutter out a simple “Thanks,” before you turn on your heel and intend to take the stairs back down.

“I’ll… see you around, then?” Mark calls after you as you take the first step out– something about it making you feel like it’s the first step out of his life, in a way– and you only nod, because one, you truly don’t know how else to reply to this question, and two, you really, really don’t know if you’ll ever see him again, but you can't bring yourself to say it to his face. Somehow, it would feel like torture to admit it– and you're not prepared for that reality just yet.

Rushing outside and getting into Jihoon's car, you almost feel like you’re on the verge of breaking, and when the male asks you how it went as he’s reversing out of the parking lot, you only bid him a one-word reply before you look through the box on your way home, too impatient to stay back from the memories.

And Jihoon didn’t really think this one through, because the fact that you gave Mark back the things that reminded you of him meant that he did the same, and now all the things you brought along to Mark’s apartment were in the cardboard box, all stained with countless memories and feelings attached to each and every single thing. The artwork you made for him, the little heart-shaped keychain you gave him for his birthday, the plant you gave him that was now long dead and dried out– those were once your stuff, but all in this world with the intention of love being sent out through them to your now ex-lover, and the fact that they’re in your possession again instead of his is not making letting go of Mark any easier. 

And maybe Mark was right and he truly was forgetful, because as you rummage through the contains of the box, while you find out your favorite blue socks are nowhere to be seen, surely still buried somewhere in the drawers of his closet, obliterated out of his memory, there’s a gray hoodie sitting at the bottom and it’s surely not yours– it’s his and it was always your favorite, and you always used to wear it at his place when you got cold or when you just really wanted to smell his cologne, and you suddenly don't know if it's presence in the box slipped his mind or if he truly left it there on purpose. 

Couldn’t he forget about that too?

Step three – block his number.

The third step comes into place after you accidentally slip out to Jihoon about the phone call you get on a Friday night– more like two hours into Saturday already– and now, most of all, you must admit that your best friend might be right about his advice.

Your phone starts ringing at 2:11 AM, and while you weren’t sleeping– you’ve been having some trouble with dozing off without being overbeared with thoughts lately– the name flashing on your screen shocks you for more reasons than one. 

Mark Lee calls you, three weeks after your breakup, in the middle of the night. You haven’t spoken since the time he gave you back your stuff, and even though you’ve done quite a bit of stalking on his social media, you have no news of him or his whereabouts. Naturally, a call from him in the middle of the night startles you and shakes you to the core. He has no reason to call you, so your brain does the math and concludes there must be an emergency– and god knows that even after being hurt by him, you could never ignore him and leave him hanging in a state of need.

So you pick up– with shaky hands and a raging heartbeat, expecting the worst. Listening to the other side of the line, you take a deep breath in and out, bracing yourself for the impact of the words you’re going to hear. The voice on the other side is laced with haziness and his tone is almost a little tired– worn out, even– when he finally greets you from wherever he is.

“Hi,” Mark says, and for a second, your heartbeat steadies itself and the world stops spinning– he sounds okay, and for a moment, you’re grateful to hear his voice.

Humming, as if to collect your thoughts, you clear your throat before you offer him an answer. “Hello,” you greet, “what’s- what’s up?”

“Just wanted to hear your voice,” he says, almost a little abruptly to your question. He doesn't overthink his answer and he doesn't give himself time to think if it's a good idea or not– he just blurts it out and now it's your problem to deal with, when it's there, out in the open. Your palms get sweaty and you start to lose feeling in your fingertips, making you take a few seconds to yourself to process the situation before you decide to finally answer to the strange sentence. 

“It’s late, Mark,” you mumble, and you involuntarily wonder if the sentence doesn’t have double meaning– it's too late for anyone to call at this hour, and at the same time, it’s been weeks since your ex boyfriend lost the privilege of listening to your voice when he can’t sleep in the middle of the night whenever he feels like it– and it’s now too late to do anything about it or make it any easier to deal with.

“Shit, sorry,” he chuckles to himself, and you suddenly recognise the laziness in his voice to be the effect of his and his best friend Hyuck’s Friday endeavors; the sweet coating of his voice being the effect of none other than the momentary bliss that comes with the relaxation of his body and mind when he's high. “Didn’t realize,” he concludes, making you shake your head at him in disbelief– not really mattering that he can’t see you in the act.

“‘s okay,” you mumble– and in your perfect reality, you hang up the phone now. In your perfect reality, you connect it to your charger and close your eyes, calling it a night. You fall asleep with no thoughts rummaging through your brain and wake up in the morning to a new sunny day, ready to take on the responsibilities of what’s to come, having productive days ended with smiles and a hot dinner you make for yourself just because you feel like it. In your perfect reality, you protect your own heart. This is not your perfect reality, though– and that’s why you stay on the line, listening to Mark ramble on the other side of the phone, intoxicated and slightly out of it. You wonder if he’ll remember calling you when he wakes up tomorrow. You wonder if he’ll regret it, or if he’ll just shrug his shoulders at the fact and go on with his day, not really paying you much thought when he’s sober.

“I was with Hyuck just now,” he says, and you hear the rustling of his sheets on the other side of the line, making you wonder if he’s washed up and ready for bed, “and– and I remembered how we all used to hang out together, y’know… you with us all– you always clicked with my friends and it was so cool and stuff… and I realized, right, they’re not as funny when you’re not around… but anyways… Jeno’s girlfriend asked about you, ‘cause she didn’t know…and telling her felt so silly, ‘cause they all kept looking at me and I knew they were pitying me, but it was my fault in the first place–”

“Mark–” 

“No, it’s true. And it’s cool, I don’t– I don’t blame you, or anything. I just… I dunno, I guess it got me wondering…”

The line goes silent on the other side, and you settle into your own bed, giving him time to continue. When he doesn’t say anything for a long time, you wonder if he’s fallen asleep.

“Mark?”

“Hm?”

“You still there?”

“Yeah. How was your day?” he asks, tone of voice casual as ever, as if he’s forgotten about all the words he’s told you up until now–  as if it’s not 2 AM and both of your hearts aren’t breaking at the sound of each other’s voice on the other side of the line.

“It… it was okay, I guess,” you say nonetheless, too hopeless to find a way to end the conversation before he does. 

“That’s good to hear,” he says, sighing, “that’s… awesome. You still taking those yoga classes on Mondays?” he asks, and you snicker to yourself– because what kind of question even is that? Who asks that on a late night call, when there are more important things you two need to talk about?

“Yeah,” you lie, still. You haven’t been since the breakup.

“That’s great. Wouldn’t want you to… y’know,” he laughs to himself, “be too sad over this… ‘t was for the better, after all.”

You hear yourself hum– the noise way more stable than your actual words ever could be– and you find yourself feeling silly in the conversation, lying to your ex boyfriend through your teeth; because at the end of the day, you don’t want him to worry about you– because it seems to be the case that he is. And it’s stupid, because he hurt you and you shouldn’t care, maybe you should’ve even show him that you’re heartbroken and that he is the reason behind your pain and the way your life is falling apart, bit by bit, but you don’t find it in you to be so cold and heartless. At the end of the day, you still care about Mark and there’s nothing you could do about it. Turns out that breaking up with him doesn’t magically make the feelings go away– and you knew that, but now you have proof.

“What were you saying before, by the way? You… trailed off at the end,” you say, reminding him of his previous words.

“Oh, that,” he snickers into the microphone again, a heavy sigh escaping his lips as he twists and turns in the sheets, “don’t worry about it. It was selfish of me.”

It was selfish of him to call in the first place. But you won’t tell him that.

“What was it?”

“It’s just… I was wondering if I lost you forever, y’know… if there was a chance we could ever…” he trails off again, but this time, you don’t bug him to complete it. You’re not stupid– you know the implication of his words. You’ve known him for a long time, after all– maybe you should’ve predicted this when you picked up the call.

“I mean…” you hum, “you didn’t lose me completely, if that’s– if that’s what’s keeping you up at night. We’re still friends, aren’t we?” you say, and in the corner of your brain, you can’t even believe the words yourself– but if it was selfish of him to call, you think it’s okay for you to selfishly fill both of you with empty promises, just for the sake of not breaking your heart even further.

“Yeah,” he mumbles, “that’s– …I’m glad.”

The line’s silent after that, and you wonder if you two have used up the list of words to say to each other this time, if there’s truly no other answer at the end of this conversation. When the situation gets too much for you to bear, the heaviness finally settling on your shoulders and your chest, you finally find the courage to sniffle out a quiet goodbye.

“Good night, Mark.”

“G’night,” he drags out, mind still cloudy. “Love you,” spills out from his tongue, like a bad habit.

He ends the call before you get to say it back. Maybe that’s for the better.

And the truth is, you should’ve really listened to Park Jihoon and blocked Mark’s number after this encounter. But you didn’t– you’re too weak for Mark’s sweet words, finding yourself still hanging on to his saccharine voice and the muffled ramble he has reserved for you only every time he gets high and loses all self-control before calling you on Friday nights selfishly demanding your attention, somehow falling for him like a teenager over and over again despite promising yourself you're gonna move on for real now.

Step four – date someone new.

“So…” Jihoon starts one day, eyes glued to your skull like laser beams, the tone of his voice so incomprehensible you think he’s going to scold you for the actions of your previous days– even though you haven't told him about the midnight calls with Mark and so if he's not going through your phone, he has no way of knowing. Tense and nervous, still, knowing that the impact of his words could either heal you or cut you open like a knife– damn him for always being so brutally honest, no matter how soft his heart is for you– you smile at him with tight lips, crossing your arms on your chest in defense.

“So…?” 

A nervous laugh almost escapes your throat. If Jihoon wasn’t suspicious of you before, he surely is now– or he just finds you strange by the way he furrows his brows at you and scans you up and down, taking a second for himself before he sighs and seemingly decides to drop the weird way you’re acting right now, shaking his head and focusing on the task at hand.

“I was thinking… my friend asked about you,” he says, nonchalantly looking down onto his hands and taking the dirt out from behind his nails, as if it’s not a big deal and he doesn’t even care that much. “Choi Hyunsuk from Biology, you know him– shabby haircut, kinda short, failed the class so he has to retake it this year…?”

“I think you’re forgetting the fact that the two of us have completely different majors, Hoonie,” you sweetly smile at him with irony, making him roll his eyes with a sigh before he tries again.

“The guy who ripped his pants at Xiao Dejun’s party last year?”

“Oh, that one! You should’ve said that earlier, of course I remember Choi Hyunsuk from your Biology class,” you nod hurriedly, the gears finally clicking in your brain.

“As if I wasn’t talking about him for the last few minutes–”

“Okay, and what about him?” you cut him off, already tired of his annoying tangent.

“I said he asked about you.”

“I heard that already,” you nod, looking at him with expecting eyes. “And?”

Jihoon stares at you, unblinking, as if you fell on your head and he’s trying to comprehend if you’re still here with him or if you got a concussion and need to be transferred into a hospital. When the contact of his eyes on your skin gets a bit too uncomfortable– you swear his looks could actually kill someone, if he tried enough– you furrow your brows at him in confusion and shake your head in disbelief.

“Why are you staring at me like that, Park Jihoon?”

“Just tryna see if you’re really that stupid or if you’re just pretending,” he mutters under his nose before he sighs again– his favorite activity whenever you’re around, it seems– and speaks up again, tone of voice reminding you of a kindergartener teacher trying to explain why it gets dark in the evening to a bunch of 4 year olds. “You know, when people ask about you, they are usually interested in you, as in, my friend Hyunsuk didn’t ask because you’re nice, but because you’re hot, if you know what I'm getting onto.”

“Oh,” you get out, eyes wide in concern and a little shaken-up, “well, that’s… nice of him, I guess.”

Jihoon only hums at you before he looks around himself and brings out the bag of chips that he left open by his right side only a few seconds ago, not really speaking more about the topic. It’s either he’s waiting for you to get what he’s hinting at, or he’s just waiting for you to get even more confused and ask him about it in a few seconds again– either way, he’s not the one doing more talking right now, because conversations with you, the most oblivious person he’s ever seen, are never productive if he goes too fast.

Chewing on the chips, his eyes go wide when you finally open your mouth and talk more about the topic at hand– just like he predicted. “Why are you telling me this?”

Your best friend swallows before he places the bag of chips back to its original place and turns his whole body so he’s facing you, speaking up again. “I was thinking that maybe, just maybe, you’d like to hang out with him. Like a date, before you ask– because I know you’re gonna ask– and why? – because, again, I know you’re gonna ask– because I simply think you should try to date again to get your mind off the loser you broke up with two months ago,” he says, blunt and honest, answering all of your unsaid questions at once, and before you know it, he has you snickering and shaking your head in disapproval.

“Absolutely not,” you retort, waving your hands in the air to only further show your disagreement with the proposition, “that would just be a massive catastrophe.”

“Why? Hyunsuk’s nice.”

“I didn’t say he isn’t, it’s just…”

“Just?” he probes you, eyebrows raised and questioning.

“I… don’t know,” you nervously chew on the inside of your cheek, aimlessly shrugging. “I just don’t think it’s a good idea, Jihoon.”

“Because of Mark?” he asks, and the moment his name escapes your best friend’s mouth, the whole room goes strangely quiet– you feel your heartbeat in your throat, the tips of your fingers start tingling and you swear that if you concentrate hard enough, you could feel a bead of sweat drip down your forehead with the incoming stress and nerves only the mention of your ex boyfriend brings you.

“No, that’s not it–”

“Sure,” he nods, sighing to himself– and there it is again, the judging look you so despise.

“You can’t just expect me to date other people a few weeks after my break up, Jihoon,” you exclaim, “that– that wouldn’t even be fair to your friend. You know I wouldn’t be invested,” you explain, and your friend rolls his eyes in frustration, sighing to himself.

“Oh but I know that! And Hyunsuk does too,” he shakes his head at you, “just thought the company of someone else could take your mind off things.”

“I have you,” you try.

“Yeah, but all we do when we’re together is mope about Mark Lee,” Jihoon snickers, “and don’t get me wrong, I’m more than open to bitch about your ex boyfriend and as your best friend, I don’t mind, but the fact that you’d be hanging out with someone else could take your mind off him, because you wouldn’t feel comfortable talking about him with someone else, y’know?”

You shut your eyes closed, a heavy sigh heaving out of your body as you try hard to concentrate and not lose it, and with how Jihoon’s tone gets softer and he’s not as loud with his brutal, yet logical advice, he must feel you getting overwhelmed and accommodates to your needs. “Look, it’s gonna be fun. I promise. Hang out with someone new, feel wanted and hot and pretty again, get some male attention that’s not your ex boyfriend, and you’ll see how it makes you feel. If you hate it, you hate it and you can slap me, I don’t know... If you don’t, you can keep dating around with my friends, and I swear I’ll hook you up only with the nice ones,” he takes your hand into his and waves it around in comfort, making you open your eyes and look at him again.

Seeing the softness and encouragement in your best friend’s eyes, you sigh to yourself. All this time, he’s tried to help you– what if you finally follow his advice? Who knows, it might even help. 

Sighing, you squeeze his palm and hover over him to get the stranded bag of chips he’s guarding on the other side of the sofa. “Fine,” you mutter, “but let your friend know that he’s the one paying, okay?”

“Perfect. I'll text him your number, then.“

And maybe Jihoon was right and after dolling yourself up and dressing up in your favorite dress just so you would feel as comfortable as possible, you don’t feel as bad when his friend Hyunsuk picks you up in his white Volvo and chats with you on the way to the restaurant. He makes good small talk and even gets a giggle out of you, the music in his car is low and you find yourself slowly easing into the situation. You don’t remember when the last time you went out with a guy that wasn’t Mark was, but it’s surprisingly nice. 

And Jihoon was right– you feel pretty. And when Hyunsuk opens the door for you after pulling up to the parking lot of the restaurant, you even feel wanted. You like the attention, just like any other girl would, and the smile you offer to your date seeps of tender shyness as you get out of the comfortable seat of his car. 

The illusion, though, is soon broken as you notice the restaurant he pulled up to. Your smile freezes, your palms get sweaty and you feel your heartbeat rummaging against your ribcage as soon as the idle atmosphere of the restaurant opens up before you. And realistically, you could turn on your heel and get back to the car, tell Hyunsuk that you want to go to another restaurant– but you don’t do it, against your biggest wishes, because you worry that the boy already made a reservation and you don’t want to ruin an evening that’s going well so far.

“Everything alright?” your date checks up on you, seemingly noticing the frown on your face, and when his worried eyes meet yours, it’s sealed– you’d feel too bad for pulling out of the date now. So you only do what you always do best– you put on your best relaxed smile and nod, catching up to him and ensuring him that you’re all okay and you didn’t just talk yourself out of an anxiety attack. 

Because you owe it to him and to Jihoon– both of them worked so hard to make you feel happy and help you to get over your ex boyfriend. It’s not Hyunsuk’s fault that he just managed to pick the restaurant your said ex boyfriend works at part-time. He had no way of knowing, and if you’re lucky enough, Mark wouldn’t be on today. He only works here part-time, it’s not like he’s here every day, and as far as you’re concerned, he only worked like two or three days a week when you dated. It would be a weird coincidence for him to be working the day you go there with your new date– you hope you’re not that unlucky.

Hyunsuk is a gentleman. Opening up doors for you, pulling out the chair for you, letting you talk and not interrupting you. He watches you with fond eyes and you almost try to feel bad for the fact that even if this ended well, the poor boy would just end up being a rebound. He deserves so much more, and you start to worry if this date was a good idea after all. Wasn’t it selfish of you to agree to this? 

“What do you want to get?” he asks as you open up the menu, and you squint at the prices, mentally taking a note to order the cheapest thing just in case he wants to pay for you at the end of the evening. 

“Spaghetti Bolognese,” you blurt out, despite it not being your favorite meal. Hyunsuk just stares at you with squinted eyes, but doesn’t disagree with you. After all, he has no way of knowing that you dislike the taste of the sauce in most restaurants– even though your conscience tells you that Mark knew that and always made sure to remind you about it before ordering for you, worried that you won’t get to eat much that evening– the only thing left to hope is that it tastes good in this particular place. 

“Okay, sure,” he nods and puts the menu down, smiling at you before engaging in a comfortable conversation with you. It feels like you’ve known Hyunsuk forever– his personality oddly reminding you of Jihoon’s caused mainly by the fact that the two have grown up together. Everything flows soundly, but you still find yourself anxiously picking at your cuticles as you cautiously look around the restaurant, fearing the fact that you could catch a glimpse of your ex boyfriend at any second.

And maybe you should be a psychic, because those bad feelings were not there for nothing– when you see a waiter walking out of the back and eyeing your table, ready to get your order, the boy is a few inches taller than your current date, raven hair messy, but still a little styled, dark circles under the man’s eyes, and there he is– your ex boyfriend. Mark Lee halts in his movements, wearing his work uniform, eyes wide, a hint of something that breaks you at least in two mirroring in his orbs before he turns on his heel and disappears in the back again. When he doesn’t come back and his co-worker joins you and Hyunsuk at your table with a warm smile, you stop waiting to see the glimpse of him you selfishly desired to catch despite fearing the interaction the whole evening.

You want to fall through the floor and disappear in the depths of this earth. For some reason, you feel mortified. What would he think? And why do you even care about his feelings? A million different thoughts run through your brain and you worry that you’re being too distant from your current date, but Hyunsuk’s warm eyes reassure you that he doesn’t mind. 

Piercing the food on your table with your eyes, you try to battle the noisy words running around your brain. 

It’s easy to say you’re over someone when you don’t see them. To have them in front of you, meet their gaze and acknowledge their existence and still be able to nod and say that you’ve moved on, is something completely different. 

Were you ever convinced that you were over Mark Lee in the first place, though?

After all of this– the months of following Jihoon’s advice, although making a few mishaps along the way as you continue to pick up Mark’s calls on Friday nights, snoop around his socials and let your mind wander to places it shouldn’t, overthinking everything and making you wish the relationship never ended in the first place– it’s time for the last step of it all. The last, most crucial part of this whole moving on process– the most important one, if you may.

Step five – avoid him at all costs.

Sounds easy, right? After the four previous steps, you’d already cried plenty about the lost months with your ex-boyfriend. You’d already given him back all of his stuff, not tying yourself to him with any material memory. You’d already gone on a date with someone new, choosing to distract yourself instead of letting yourself feel the emotions. After all the previous steps, this one’s supposed to be the easiest one. The one you’re supposed to want to do, after all. The break-up wasn’t messy, but it was still painful– it’s only natural for you to not want to see Mark ever again, right?

Wrong.

Because you never listen to the advice you’re given. That just wouldn’t be you, would it?

And so when Mark Lee calls you one day and tells you that he has a free train ticket to the Bukhansan stop, explaining that he was supposed to go hike there with Donghyuck who canceled on him last minute because of an assignment due midnight, you don’t really hesitate much before you shoot him a short text saying that you’re down and get ready for the short hike. 

When you meet your ex boyfriend at the station, his figure slightly slouched up until the moment his eyes meet yours, you feel the quiet tension in the air. You’ve seen each other a few times before this meeting– on a party you went to with Jihoon, at the campus when you went to class one morning, your ex boyfriend walking you towards the Art building, hell, you’ve even met in the grocery store, all accidental and making your heart leap in your chest with tension. This time, though, you’re here completely intentionally, just to hang out with him, and something about the fact makes a dull pain shoot all through your intestines, a sensation so uncomfortable you try to hide with a tight-lipped smile. 

“Ready for the hike?” he asks, adjusting the bag on his back, playing with the straps with clammy fingers. You can’t help but notice how he looks just like a little boy, in his little world, shielded from everything. He seems to have taken a protective stance, and you hate how the air between you shifted from how you two used to be when you were dating. Mark seems scared. Nervous. On top of his feet. Maybe you shouldn’t have agreed to this at all.

You’re already here, though. Turning around and leaving wouldn’t really work right now, as you take a step towards the train that’s just arrived, humming to your ex boyfriend in agreement. Taking a seat on the place Mark’s pointed to you on the train ticket, you try to loosen up your muscles and get as comfortable as you can, clearing your mind as you gaze outside of the window.

“How have you been?” he asks, clearing his throat.

Pressing your lips into a tight line, you turn to him as you search for an answer. “Better,” you nod, voice quiet. “You?”

Mark hums, chewing the inside of his cheek. “Good, good,” he lies through his teeth, “I’ve seen you at the restaurant the other day,” he hints, and you battle the sigh that’s begging to cut out of your throat. You don’t know where he’s going with the sentence. It’s not a question– only a proposition, barely even that– and you could ignore it with a nod of your head, you could pay it no mind as you see the bitterness in his gaze and the slightly self-conscious averting of his stare. You don’t know where he’s going with the conversation, but frankly, you don’t know where you are going with your answer either, as you shrug to him in a casual manner and peep under your breath.

“Yeah,” you say, “that was just… Jihoon’s friend from uni, I suppose,” you complete, and the sentence hints at nothing– it doesn’t clear out the confusion, it doesn’t outright say anything that could make Mark believe that it was just a casual hang-out with a friend, but still, you see the boy visibly relax as he nods to you and offers you a tight-lipped smile.

“Oh,” he hums, looking out of the window, past the profile of your face. The change in topic is sudden and sharp, but also welcome as he falls into a casual conversation with you, and suddenly, you’re reminded by the Mark you once knew– the guy you’ve once called not socially awkward, but so social that it’s awkward– as he talks to you about his day and rambles on about the weather. “It’s good that it won’t rain today, I bet the view will be nice.”

Locking your gaze with him for a brief second, you lick your lips and point your eyes towards the ground. It’s good that it won’t rain today, as opposed to last time you two went to the Bukhansan trail. You wonder if he remembers.

Before you have a chance to mention it– and in all reality, you won’t, no matter how bold you could be feeling at the moment– the train comes to a stop at your station and you hop out of the carriage, ready for the hike.

It’s easy to forget how messed up things have gotten between the two of you when you walk alongside with your ex boyfriend, laughing at his silly jokes and gasping at everything he shows to you with a pointed finger, finding yourself admiring the sound of his giggle when he spots a squirrel pass your path somewhere near the top of the hill. The trail is almost empty at this hour, since the two of you have decided to go in the late afternoon, and you find your soul to finally be at peace after so many weeks, you finally feel relaxed in the nature, one with the wind and the gentle sound of birds chirping lullying your running thoughts to a rest. 

You realize that this is just what you needed all this time. You needed to get out and walk for some while, to tune out yourself and to accept the fact that you’re still here, for another day, and something about that is still a blessing. Watching the back of Mark’s head as he walks a step in front of you due to the narrowness of the trail in this area, you smile to yourself. It’s easy to forget just how much you were hurt by him when he heals your soul with such a simple gesture. It’s easy to forget you were hurt when he seemingly tries to put all the broken pieces back together, glue them to where they were in the first place, when things were easier and you both didn’t have so many things to worry about. 

You reach the top just as the sun starts setting over the horizon, and there are only a few people scattered across the peak, sitting on their own picnic blankets and gazing into the distance. The hues of the sky paint the world in a different color, the oranges, pinks and muted purples playing with your heartstrings as you come to a halt and crouch down and feel the presence of another soul mirror your actions only a meter away to your right, his gaze glued to your side. The view is beautiful, but the feeling of being watched isn’t ignorable anymore, and so you turn to your companion and raise your eyebrows at him, wondering if he has something to say.

You don’t know how you’ll be able to come back to your life after this and pretend you still don’t want to spend every passing second with the man on your right. You don’t know how you’re supposed to ignore the ever so growing love for him– even though after being so disappointed with the past, the feelings should be decreasing, not doing the opposite– and frankly, you don’t even want to think of going back to the way it’s been for the past few months. And so you don’t– you allow yourself to indulge the moment, to ignore the pain that’s about to come, just so you could hold another beautiful memory to your heart and enjoy the moment before it hurts you to think of it tomorrow morning. 

“It’s even more beautiful than the last time,” Mark hums, but his eyes never leave your figure– if you were still dating, you bet he’d come out with a cheesy line about how you’re prettier than the view, or something. “It didn’t rain this time around, thank god.”

Gazing at him, you shake your head in disbelief. Scoffing, you play with the grass between your fingers. “You remember that?”

“Yeah,” he hums, “I remember a lot of things.”

The sentence makes you bitterly chuckle. He knows why you’re reacting the way you are– and you have every right to. He claims to remember a lot of things, but the ones important to you, the ones you wanted him to remember, he failed to save into his memory. And that’s eventually what made you break up with him, at the end of it all.

At your reaction, he sighs and drags a hand across his face, seemingly realizing the weight of his own words and just how ridiculous he must have sounded to you right now. 

“I- That-” he stutters, shaking his head, “that sounded stupid right now, considering… everything… Didn’t it?”

“Kind of,” you nod, not wanting to meet his eyes. 

“I’m sorry,” he blurts out, voice suddenly raw and serious, so different to the tone he’s been using with you the whole afternoon, “I don’t- I can’t remember if I said that back then, when you- when you… broke up with me, but I really am sorry, Y/N. You didn’t deserve that, and I am in no way shape or form trying to make this about me, but I hate myself every day for the way things turned out and if I could go back to that day, I’d do so many things differently.”

The sky in front of you deepens in reds and you taste iron on your tongue, suddenly hyper-aware of the fact that you’ve managed to bite on your lip too hard in the midst of the conversation. Tearing out stems of grass with your clammy fingertips, you focus on the clouds running through the sky, calculating your next response.

“Okay,” you nod, not giving him much else. The answer perfectly encapsulates the way you feel on the inside right now– you don’t know if you’re ready to accept his apology, if you’re ready to let go of it and act like you weren’t hurt or that none of it ever happened, but you listened to him and you internalized his words. He is sorry. He knows he was in the wrong. And you were aware that he knew all of this before– hell, you’d even go as far as say he knew it the moment you knocked on his door that day and told him it was over– but hearing it from him surely moved something inside of you to a more comfortable place.

“I-” he starts, voice breaking making him clear his throat before he continues, “I don’t expect you to forgive me. And I know I shouldn’t have expected you to still be my friend after all of this, and that- I shouldn’t have even called you so many times and approached you at the store and stuff, but um-” he mumbles, shrugging to himself, “I guess I just couldn’t stay away from you. And again, I don’t expect you to forgive me, I don’t expect you to do anything, really. So… yeah…”

Snickering at his aimless monologue, you shake your head in disbelief. “Mark?”

“Yeah?” he stares at you, eyes a bottomless pool of emotion.

“Why did you invite me here today? What was the… point, I guess?” you ask, hugging your knees to your chest as the breeze makes goosebumps appear all over your body. 

Mark offers you a sad smile, head leaned to his right as he shrugs, and this time, his eyes don’t leave yours as he spills the truth into the air. “I guess I was just feeling selfish today,” he hums, and the sentence makes you cringe with the memory of his first call to you after your break up, “wanted to spend time with you.”

“Here, of all places?”

“Yeah,” he nods, “told you. I was feeling selfish.”

Snickering, you look away, staring at the sky again. The colors are starting to blend together into a deep, dark purple– the horizon darkening as the sun starts to say its final goodbyes to the day. You sigh to yourself, yet feel no bitterness or terror at his words. Somehow, you understand. Somehow, you get him a little too well. Somehow, you think you knew the moment he texted you today, and somehow, you think you felt it in your bones when you didn’t say no, although you could have. There’s calmness in your soul when you nod at the implication of his words, leaning back on your elbows and plopping your bottom to the ground, sitting at the dusty surface. 

“You said you didn’t expect anything out of me today, Mark.”

“And I don’t,” he says, voice soft. 

“And you brought me here to remind me of the last time we went?” you stare at him, a hint of a bitten-back smile playing with your lips. “Because you’re selfish?” 

He nods, not escaping your gaze. “To remind you of the last time we went. To show you that… I remember, I guess. And that I still care, just like the last time. If not more.”

“Mark, you can’t just say all of this and expect nothing out of me right now,” you mutter.

“Actually, I can. Because that’s what I’m doing. I’m just… laying it out in the open, and what you do with the information is completely, completely up to you,” he explains, and you find yourself chuckling at him, the atmosphere instantly lighter as you hear his voice in its usual casualness, talking to you as if he was just unpacking what went on in class today, and not the starting and the end of your one year relationship.

And he’s right. What you do with the information is completely up to you, and the next steps and the progress of your relationship with Mark Lee is also completely in your hands. You could turn away and never talk to him again, you could curse at him and tell him that it’s too late now and he missed his chance, but if that was the case, you wouldn’t be here in the first place. He wouldn’t be inviting you to this place, lying about his roommate canceling just to trick you into going, and you wouldn’t be blindly accepting the invitation, wanting to see where the afternoon brings you. 

“So you still care about me?” you hum, looking at him from under your eyelashes, noticing his slouched-over pose as he looks back at you over his shoulder.

“Always have,” he admits, “never stopped. Despite not really… acting like it in the past few months.”

“Why’d you stop acting like it, then?” you ask.

A sigh escapes his lips, his head turning forward before he leans back and sits cross-legged on the ground, more comfortably now. Shrugging, he answers the question. “I guess I just got too caught up with different things. And don’t get me wrong, you were always my priority, always, but I was all over the place with everything and my mind just couldn’t… there were too many things to keep up with and I couldn’t stay up to date with everything,” he says, “and I know it’s not an excuse, but it’s an explanation, and it doesn’t make it better or undo the pain I’ve caused you, but it’s… at least you know it was never because I’d care about you any less.”

His eyes bear into yours with such honesty you think the weight of the world will crash on you any minute, and suddenly, the whole situation seems so much clearer.

And you wouldn’t take it back, you wouldn’t undo the breakup or do anything differently, because at the end of the day, you think it was needed. Perhaps the time apart was what he needed as a wake up call and what you needed to shield yourself from hurting more. 

“Stop me from saying it if you… if you don’t want to hear it right now,” he hums, voice barely louder than a whisper. There seems to be a silent communication between the two of you, a connection of some sort that brings out the strange telepathy, but you just nod at him, a gentle smile playing with your lips as you understand exactly what he means, telling him that it’s okay and that you don’t mind– you welcome, you need to hear him say it again.

Licking his lips, he turns to you fully, facing you. There’s not a hint of nervousness in his body, having done this a lot of times before, and then it happens– the repeated confession, confirming what was there the whole time, never leaving even when the times were rough. 

“I love you,” he says.

And isn’t that all that’s needed? 

A year is a long time with someone. Somehow, you wouldn’t want the time to go to waste. At the end of the day, if love is still present, isn’t it worth trying? One more time?

“And you still don’t expect anything from me?” you ask, gazing at him softly. “You don’t expect me to say it back?”

“No,” he breathes out, shrugging. “I just needed to get it off my chest.”

“Because you’re selfish like that,” you nod, teasing him. 

“Because I’m selfish like that,” he agrees, breaking out into a slight grin.

Looking at the sky, now completely dipped in dark purple, you sigh to yourself at the turmoil of the conversation. You don’t say it back– although you feel it, you know it’s in there, playing with your heartstrings and clenching the muscle in the palm of its hand– you know love is there, deep inside, for the man that’s currently staring at you as if you hung the very stars appearing on the sky there yourself, stolen them from your own eyes and gluing them there selflessly, for everyone to see. You don’t tell him you love him back, you don’t tell him you forgive him or accept his apology. You don’t worry about what tomorrow will bring you, what your brain is going to tell you when you come down from the hill and get home, lay in your bed and overthink. You let the worries escape you, letting fondness and calm envelope you in a tight hug instead.

“Okay,” you nod, watching the boy next to you look at you with curious eyes. You take his hand into yours and place it on your thigh, playing with his fingers for a heartbeat before you meet his eyes again and smile. “I won’t say it back, but for all it’s worth, Mark… I’m glad you remembered.”

And that’s all he needs– there is love, there is fondness, and there is the silent confirmation that all you need right now is just a bit more time. 

Where do broken hearts go?

Somehow, you think they hold on to the place where it all started. Somehow, you think your heart never went anywhere– it stayed on this hill, waiting for you to pay it a visit and pick back up everything right from where you left it.

“It doesn’t seem like a good idea to go here today, Y/N,” Mark laughed behind you as he looked up to the sky, the dark clouds shielding the sun that had been previously shining down on your hiking figures, casting an orange glow on the strands of your hair. 

“Well, there’s no turning back now,” you shrugged, turning to him and grinning as you tugged on his hand, grip strong as you dragged the boy up the trail, your sneakers fast against the dirty ground. “We have finals starting next week and it’s gonna be too cold to go after the exam season is over, so we gotta go now.”

“I kind of regret telling you that I’ve never been here before now,” Mark sighed, but followed you nonetheless, breathlessly following your excited stride. It was October, the leaves on the trees were welcoming the two of you in shining colors, and the wind kissing your skin turned a bit chilly in the evenings– courtesy of the warm hoodie Mark shyly lended you when you shivered for the first time, adoring the way you, his friend, looked in the light gray fabric. Something about you wearing his clothes made the boy a bit hopeless about the day. Maybe he’ll have enough courage to confess his feelings to you, he thought. Maybe, despite the first raindrops falling on the skin of his bare arms, this evening will have a happy ending for you and him. 

“Oh, please,” you squinted at him, continuing to run up the hill– thank god it wasn’t that steep, serving both of you as the perfect hiking difficulty, “even if you wouldn’t have, I’d drag you here anyway. It’s like, my favorite place to go in Seoul, haven’t I told you before?”

You have, Mark thought. But he was okay with hearing it again. 

You squealed when the raindrops got heavier and the rain started pouring faster on the two of you, and Mark found himself laughing at your running figure. He was right behind you, praying that you don’t slip on one of the rocks and break your leg on the hiking trail, but he encouraged you with sweet comments and a hand on the small of your back as he watched the tip of the hill appear right in front of his very eyes, your body coming to a satisfied halt when you reached your destination.

“Tada!” you grinned at him, twirling a little like a ballerina, showing him the place with outstretched arms. He tried hard to observe the place, but his eyes stayed glued to your excited figure, gaze bearing into yours as you looked at him, amidst a little flustered, with sparkly orbs and a bright smile on your face. Your hair was a mess, his gray hoodie enveloping your body was slowly growing darker in color from absorbing the rain, and your sneakers were getting a bit muddy from walking around the place. He wanted to remember this moment forever, he thought– this version of you, the smiley expression on your face, the carefree and excited nature of your step. 

“Isn’t it beautiful?” you exclaimed, jumping around and nearing the boy, but as you went to take his hand to drag him around the top of the hill once more, your feet slipped and you fell forward, a surprised squeak battling its way out of your throat.

Your whole life flashed in front of your very eyes in that moment, embarrassment spreading down your neck at the fact that you were about to fall face first onto the ground in front of your crush of a few months, before your body collided with a soft, yet firm mass engulfing you closer. A pair of strong arms steadied you against his chest, and when you looked up at your friend, you swear all words were taken out of your dictionary, the sight leaving you speechless.

“It is,” he gaped, eyes bearing into yours. Mark was agreeing with you, but something in the back of your head was telling you that he didn’t really admire this place as much as you did– his curious gaze was always plastered somewhere completely else. 

That place being your face, of course. And your eyes, your cheeks, the mess of your bangs, and occasionally– screw that, almost always– your lips. Much like in that moment, a few centimeters away from his face, so inviting he thought it would be a crime to contain the urge. 

And so he didn’t– he didn’t control his feelings and the ever-so growing yearning for you, as he silently leaned towards your face and captured his lips with yours in a firm, yet short kiss.

He looked at you with a nervous tint behind his gaze when he leaned away, the sight of your wide eyes staring at him making a slight flush grow on his cheeks. You looked so beautiful in that moment– flustered, surprised, with messy hair and lips still apart– and he was relieved to not find a hint of a displeased emotion in your expression. 

“Okay, so- well-” you stuttered, laughing to yourself, “this didn’t go as I planned, but I guess I’m happy as long as the final result is the same,” you hummed, standing on your tippy-toes and pressing your lips against him once more, this time letting yourself enjoy the moment fully, mouth moving against his in a careful, yet excited rhythm. He tasted like the strawberry candy you offered him on the bottom of the trail and smelled a bit like rain, the mixture always staying in the depths of your mind as his warmth enveloped you in comfort and a feeling of home.

“The final result being…?” he asked when you pulled apart once again, a dazed expression overtaking his sharp features.

“Us,” you shrugged, “like this,” you clarified.

Mark laughed at that, hugging you closer to his chest. You rested your head on his shoulder, listening to the sound of raindrops washing away the top layer of dirt off the rocks on the tip of the hill, hands sneaking around his waist and enjoying the way they wrapped around him so tightly and so comfortably. You in his hoodie, in your favorite place, standing in his arms. It was raining, but it didn’t matter.

“Mark?” 

“Hm?” 

“If we ever get lost, or something happens… bring me back here, okay?” you mumbled close to his ear, lips gently glazing the skin of his ear, making goosebumps appear all over your new lover. “I’m convinced that this place could fix everything.”

“Even us?” 

“Don’t be ridiculous. You’re not allowed to ever leave me now, what would there be to fix between us?” you smacked his shoulder, snickering to yourself.

“You never know,” he laughed, “what if I accidentally mess up somewhere along the way?” he asked, threading his fingers through your hair, smoothing down the wet mess.

“Okay then,” you hummed, “even us.”

Staring into your eyes, letting the moment play out by itself, Mark swore he’s never felt more at peace. He wondered if it was the effect of the place, the rain, or just your sheer presence.  “I’ll remember that,” he giggled before he let go of your body, petting your head as he took a hold of your hand, tugging you down from where you came from, “now let’s go home before we catch a cold.”

Nodding, following the man as you both carefully, yet fastly made it down the trail, you enjoyed the way his hand fit into yours and the way you knew that after this, you can’t ever come back to being friends with Mark Lee. He was all yours, completely, utterly yours, and you knew in the back of your head, that you were his– and nothing will ever change that.

You would always come back to the hill with him. It felt ridiculous to think about you two ever having to fix anything between the two of you back then, but even in that moment, you knew that for him, you’d keep trying. As long as he does– as long as he remembers.

Where do broken hearts go? You guess they always come right back to the place they come from– and they leave glued back together every single time.

You guess your heart never really left the hill.

#bjnet #nct #nct dream #nct 127 #mark #mark lee #nct dream x reader #nct dream angst #nct dream fluff #mark lee x reader #mark lee angst #mark lee fluff #mark angst #mark fluff #nct 127 x reader #nct 127 angst #nct 127 fluff #mark lee oneshot #mark oneshot #nct oneshot #nct dream oneshot #nct 127 oneshot

[puckgoss]

Okay great! Same anon from before. BTW, love your blog! The others seem to have a clear bias but I love how you keep it real over here. Super interesting as well! Now with the real deal...

CELEBS:

Justin Bieber is super nice, he seemed genuinely honored and happy to be there. Him and Mitch Marner are sooo cute, Justin was so supportive of him all the time and cheered backstage so much. He's also cool with Crosby apparently, saw them talking a lot. Met Hailey briefly and not surprised, just classic model behavior, glasses on inside, didn't say hi to anybody just a slight smile. It's fine I guess but compared to Justin who was a ray of sunshine seemed kinda odd. Michael Bublé did not 'accidentally' take a huge dose of weed, he was joking about how high he was and laughing about smoking more afterwards. Will Arnett is like a drunk uncle but not drunk. Both nice. Tate McCrae is soo sweet! I felt her because we were only like 5/6 women backstage and she was the only female captain, also with an ex who is an NHL player so already has that "puck bunny" reputation, so her being there was cool to see. Her BF was also backstage, but I don't think the players knew it was her BF haha, a colleague and I noticed at least 15 of the guys walking up to her and chatting it up. Ones I remember that looked flirty are Sway, the Hughes (they talked throughout the whole weekend and they're all around the same age so may have been friendly but you know how men are), Elias Lindholm, Elias Petterson, & Mat Barzal. She obviously talked to a lot of people but these I remember looking more like them trying to get somewhere with her. Her and her BF are so cute though! He was very touchy with her. Saw her talking to Boone Jenner for a while, but he seemed just friendly. He is also her ex's teammate so wonder what that's about.

PLAYERS:

Auston Matthews is actually really charismatic. At one point the whole dressing room went quiet and we heard him singing "Baby" by Justin Bieber. We all cracked up haha. The Hughes brothers had a fight the first day, don't really know about what but Jack walked in upset and Quinn wouldn't even look at him. Both with their frowning RBF. McDavid had the same attitude as Hailey Bieber LOL. He softened up a bit when talking to other players but otherwise he is super cold always. Pasta and Travis Konecny also seemed to lowkey hate each other. Colleague told me Travis doesn't like Pasta at all but can't 100% confirm that as I didn't hear it directly, just an interesting rivalry. The Canucks players were like a group of mean girls, they literally stuck together the entire weekend, even if they were drafted to separate teams. Vincent Trocheck flirted his ASS off with several women, myself included. Found out later he was married. Swayman is truly a nice person, I think he and Boone Jenner were the only ones who said hi to the whole crew and also goodbye. Also saw him and Georgiev have a bro-hug after they lost the game and he said something to him that made him really laugh, it was very cute. The Hughes also seem to not like Suzuki, avoided him all weekend. Cale Makar is like a doll haha he is so awkward all the time and everytime he speaks his face looks like he immediately regrets it.

That's all at the top of my head, but if there's anything else you want to know LMK!

ahaha ty ty! i def have my biases when it comes to teams but i try pretty hard to keep it neutral and not give my biases away 😭 as for players i don't have any faves or rly think any are angels so i have no preconceptions there

omg there is so much to unpack here idek where to begin

justin bieber - he did seem so happy to be there the whole time lol he loves hockey and the leafs i think that was all 100% genuine! so sweet

hailey bieber - sounds abt right lol

michael bublé - lmaooooo tell me ur from vancouver without telling me ur from vancouver.... iconic he was so funny that whole weekend

tate mcrae - ya i forget her bf's name but i was aware he was there n they do seem v cute together! love all the wifed up guys chatting her up ahaha except barzy n petey they get a pass. another anon on here was telling me all the CBJ guys & wags liked tate a lot so doesn't surprise me that boone & her were friendly

hughes brothers - jack n quinn having a fight is soooo funny omfg i can't. also being bitchy towards suzuki like 😭 funny bc they're so tight w cole caufield (esp jack) n suzuki n cole are teammates and besties

mcdavid - you comparing mcdavid to hailey bieber is fucking sending me dsiofjdskghdfjklgh he is so awkward...

TK - TK having beef w pasta is soooo funny

canucks - canucks players "like a group of mean girls" i'm dying omfg 💀 lindholm was drafted to a separate team ya but he was only traded to the canucks like a few days before that so that was the first time they were really meeting him

trocheck - flirting his ass off with multiple women dsfknadslfkjgfng his kids were literally on the ice watching the skills comp w him that's soooo bad

swayman & jenner - being sweethearts aw that is nice to hear

cale makar - "like a doll" "awkward all the time" "every time he speaks his face looks like he immediately regrets it" perfect no notes!!!

#amazing tea tysm anon #i would want to know anything literally even stuff u would consider scraps!!!!! #eating this up! #ask! #ok now to tag everyone lol #guess i should tag the biebs #j. bieber #h. bieber #m. marner #not tagging buble n arnett #t. mcrae #b. jenner #q. hughes #j. hughes #n. suzuki #j. swayman #c. makar #v. trocheck #t. konecny #c. mcdavid #a. matthews

[sh1-n0bu]

Ayo heard you want horny brainrots well I (🦝) have been summoned.

I don't know what your preferences are. Men, women, both, neither but personally I would fuck just about anything that is off age and willing so that being said

I absolutely adore Beidou. She is so fucking hot. She's powerful, strong willed, breathtakingly gorgeous and overall just step on me, captain I am actually begging. On top of that, she wields a claymore, the back amd shoulder muscle she must have? On God?? Yes, MA'AM.

Realistically she probably has a bunch of scars and a sun tan and overall I think Beidou might be the hottest woman in all of Genshin. Genshin has many hot women but no one surpasses her. My queen. My goddess. My love. My main since day ONE. (that's a lie but she was in fact the forst character I pulled)

Alright I'm going to take my brain and wring it out like a wet towel to give you some more asks. Cya in the next one

✿ 𝙮𝙤𝙪, 𝙢𝙮 𝙜𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝙩𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙪𝙧𝙚 ♡︎

characters: beidou x gn! reader

warnings: fluff, angst, there will be nsfw but it’s not as wild as my other posts, both reader and beidou are switch, cute domestic shits, kazuha being y’alls adopted son (kinda)

notes: 🦝anon, my beloved, i have already made it clear that i’m a raging bisexual so yes, women♥️. women, men, sexy human look alike puppets with god and inferiority complex, idc gimme them all! went with head cannons format with this one i hope you don’t mind. also i’m so sorry my beloved 🦝 anon, i took so long to answer😭😭

aahhh yes beidou

i’m pretty sure everyone took one look at her and went “i’m sat”

and yes 🦝 anon she would have the muscles, sun tan i mean come on she stays out in the sea for as long as she wants, scars and damn did i mention muscles whew it’s getting hot in here

absolutely would spoil tf out of you

jewels, foods, all kinds of trinkets from the places she’s been to before

and if you were to talk it out with her and won’t get seasick easily, she won’t hesitate to ask you to come with her on her ship alongside the crux

after basically adopting kazuha, you two would almost become his pseudo parents in a sense

beidou is the fun carefree mom while you are the parent that frets over him as if he’s a baby

and everytime she sees you scolding kazuha over the smallest of things such as scratching his pretty face she won’t hesitate to tease you in all kinds of ways

general nicknames would be “darling” “your highness”(teasingly) “my treasure”

“[NAME]! MY TREASURE! GUESS WHO CLAPPED THE BIG NOBUSHI GUYS’ ASSES BAREHANDED!”

“OH MY ARCHONS BEIDOU YOU’RE BLEEDING!!!”

if you were to ever kiss her scars or wounds while treating her she would just melt

“ahaha… oh darling, what did i ever do to deserve you?”

due to her past of being hated by the village she was taken in, sometimes beidou would have a very horrific and detailed nightmares or thoughts of you leaving her because she is ‘cursed’

would hate to burden you but will gently stir you awake to ask for cuddles and kisses

“i-i’m sorry, treasure. i-i just… please? hold me?”

please don’t degrade her even as a joke

since you’re someone so dear to her heart, even if she were to laugh it off as a joke on the outside, she would be thinking all sorts of bad thoughts on the inside

i feel like she would give the best hugs and piggyback rides

if you’re both walking around and you’re getting tired or wounded, she won’t hesitate to squat down in front you or carry you bridal style

is so so incredibly gentle with you

she knows she’s strong, she knows she’s powerful i mean she struck down haishan, the leviathan while visionless

and due to that knowledge she’s afraid she might accidentally hurt you in some way, even when she knows you’re not some fragile doll

i can’t really see her being a sub honestly

i feel like she would be either a switch or a soft dom

is into face-sitting and i cannot stress this enough

whether it’s you sitting on her face with your juices gushing and squelching, your legs trembling to hold yourself up she won’t stop until she’s satisfied

“shh it’s okay darlin’ you’re doing sooo good. come on sit on my face, i wouldn’t mind and you know that”

or her sitting on your face as she grinds her slicky pussy into your mouth while moaning and calling you a good girl/boy as she grips your hair

it doesn’t matter which one it is, she’ll take it

will overstimulate you but in the gentlest way you get what i’m saying?

“aww there there. come on you can cum again. you can cum again right darlin’? yes you can treasure. come on cum for me. you can do it”

or it’s you absolutely worshipping every inch of her body

“haaangg~ oh yes, that’s it. keep mmggff! keep going. ah yeah, you’re making me feel so good treasure~”

sex with her would generally be very soft, slow and filled with praises

aftercare would be you two cuddling together after cleaning each other up and just talking of small topics like today’s weather, the next destination, which destination to go to next etc etc

just,,,, beidou🥹🫶

#nobu.writes #beidou x reader #beidou x you #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader fluff #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact x reader angst #beidou smut #genshin smut #switch reader #🦝 anon

[mrs-santoss]

Heartbreak - Neymar Imagine

Summary:

Marina is a football player and dates Neymar. He goes to support her on her most important game and that’s when something horrible changes their perspective in life.

If there’s one thing I hate more in this life is attention. And yet, I still chose the most famous profession of all. This is the thing I hate about myself. I’m almost halfway my journey and yet I’m still unsure if I’m happy or not. I loved soccer since i was a kid. I’ve been judged and discouraged by my own parents many times but I still didn’t give up. Maybe the reason I feel this way about soccer is everything I had to change in my life to be in this position. I had to switch countries, I had to leave my family behind, I had to lose some friends, but, I swear on the second I step on the field it’s mesmerizing. That’s my answer to everything

I remember the first day I met Neymar, the love of my life. We’re supposed to start our morning training an hour later today because we got a call the night before that the men’s team will be joining us for training today. I was kind of excited to meet some of my favorite players. I was passing the ball back and forth with my teamate when people started coming inside the stadium. We all gathered around at the entrance to greet them. After I introduced myself to everyone, I laid eyes on the most gorgeous creature alive. He was walking towards me extending his hand for a handshake which I completely ignored due to the distraction from his beautiful eyes.

“Umm..Hi?!” He said half smiling at me.

“Oh, sorry! I got distracted, hii my name is Marina.” I took his handshake and smiled at him, finally awake from the daydream.

“Nice to meet you, Marina! I’m Neymar.” He said while we released our hands.

“Nice to meet you too, Neymar!” I said at him.

“You speak good Portugese, are you Brazilian by any chance, did I get that right?!” He said while making a funny confusing face.

“Ahahah, yeah you got that right, sort of. I’m half brazilian and half french, my mom is from Brazil.” Oh god why didn’t I realize from before that he was this pretty.

We trained for 2-3 hours including the breaks and it was time to leave for home. I bumped into someones shoulder on the hallway.

“Oppss, sorry! I didn’t see ya there!” I said looking up at the person’s face and I realized who he was.

“No, it’s okay. This is actually very good because I was trying to find you anyway and… ask you to hang out sometime?” said Neymar and looked at me nervously for an answer.

“Sure, of course! I would love to.” these words came out of my mouth so quickly I genuinely thought I had scared the guy.

“Ahaha, great. Can I have you number and I’ll call you?” he asked.

“Yes, here you go.” i took his phone and registered my number on there.

“Thank you, sweetie. I’ll see you soon.” he said and hugged me and start walking towards the exit.

What just happened?!

_________________

Here I am 2 years later preparing for the most important game of my life so far. I’m in the Women’s World Cup finals for the Brazil team. The chances of us winning are pretty high, except I’m beginning to feel a little anxious and I’m scared it will distract me.

The game is about to start any minute now and we are coming out of our locker rooms. I checked my phone before leaving and saw a text from Neymar saying “I’m here, bebê. You can do this, I believe in you. Don’t stress out. I love you lots, see you out there. xx” and I felt a wave of relief wash over me. Everytime Ney is there to see me play, I get this feeling he’s down there on the field with me practicing like we always do on our backyard. He’s means everything to me, that’s why I feel like I would let him down if I lost. These past two years have been the most amazing years of my life so far, I think Ney is my forever.

We are out on the field. Numbness. Numbness is all I’m feeling right now. I need to calm down. Oh my god! I can’t calm down. Can people see I’m panicking? I hope not. I look at the VIP area trying to find Neymar. I spotted him and he’s already waving at me and blowing kisses. And he kisses his right wrist and reminds me to look down at my own wrist and remember the wristband he made me for good luck. I kiss my wrist too, letting him know I got this. Which in fact, I really don’t.

We are done with all the ceremonies, and the referee blows the whistle to start the game. The second he does that the brain fog I had earlier completely disappeared and I start to think sharply. I start the game passing the ball to my teammate. Everything goes smoothly for the first 20 or 30 minutes. We had a few chances we missed, which only made our confidence drop.

My teammate passes the ball to me and I find a great opportunity to sprint towards the opponent’s goal towards the left side of the field, where Neymar is watching from and has a pretty clear view of me. Once I reach the area between the left corner area and the penalty area, I pass the ball to my teamate in the center of the penalty area. After I pass the ball the other player pushes me on my back with her knee, practically jumping on me trying to get the ball the was already passed on. I felt a shocking pain that started from my spine and went down to my legs and I fell on the field on my stomach. It was the most horrible pain I have been in. On the other side my teamate misses the shot and the game went on for a couple seconds before someone noticed me screaming my guts out and starts running to me. Everything is blurry. Everytime someone touches me, I yell begging them not to. The worst thing about this wasn’t the unbearable pain, it was the fact that I couldn’t move my legs at all. This causes me to also start panicking. The medics arrive, they examine me quickly and ask me a bunch of questions which i can’t give the answer to any of them. I can hear yelling, screaming, people calling for help, I have no idea what’s going on, all I feel is pain.

Neymar’s POV:

She was scanning the crowd trying to find me and when she did I was already trying to let her know I’m looking at her. I kiss my wrist trying to remind her the wristband I made for her to let her know I’ll always be next to her on the field speaking encouraging words to her. She kisses her wrist back but she hardly makes an expression on her face. I know that face. I know that feeling. She was scared and anxious. I prayed to god that wouldn’t affect her throughout the whole game. Everything went smoothly for half an hour until Marina had a chance to sprint towards the goal and make an assist. I was yelling encouraging words to her, telling her to keep going. What happened next made my blood run cold, and made my heart stop beating.

She got hit behind her back and fell on the ground screaming the guts out. I never saw her like this in the two years we’ve been together. I stood up with the rest of the crowd yelling to stop the game. She was in unbearable pain, I couldn’t watch it, she was suffering. I felt like someone is cutting my chest open and snatching my heart out. I could tell she was also panicking and unaware of her surroundings. I left my position and made my way to the small entrance wanting to go on the field next to my girlfriend who was suffering and she needed me to at least be there. The guard stopped me, they told me it was best to go in the hallway inside and meet her there.

I waited there watching everything. I didn’t realize I was shaking myself. I could tell my skin was as pale and yellow as the Brazil shirt I had on. She continues screaming and covering her face with her hands. Once the put her on the stretcher and started to carry her inside, that’s when i left the stadium to go inside.

I’m running behind her, she notices me and reaches her hand out to me. I grap her hand and kiss it repeatedly and I place her hand on my chest and caress her cheek with my other hand.

“NEY, I CANNOT FEEL MY LEGS!” she said panicking and screaming. My blood ran cold once again, I tried my best not to make any facial expressions that would freak her out.

“I know, bebê. I know, amor. Everything will be okay I promise. You need to calm down first, okay?” I was trying to get her to forget about the pain at least for a while while I’m rolling her stretcher with the paramedics toward the ambulance.

“ NEY-, I CAN’T. TOO MUCH PAI-“ she says.

“I know, I know, I know, bebê. Shh…shhh, we’re almost there. Breath slowly, meu amor. You’ve got this.” I’m encouraging her but honsetly, I’m saying these words to myself also. Her crying and screaming makes me feel so helpless and weak.

“NEYMAR, MY LEGS. MY LEG-AGHH” she screams her heart out.

This is it. I can’t hold it back anymore. I let my tears fall and kiss her forehead repeatedly. What if she doesn’t get better, what if she’s actually in risk for her life?

“Marina, meu amor. We’re almost there, you can do this. I know you can. I know you’re in pain but please hold on tight.” I say almost like I’m the one in more pain now.

We reach the ambulance and they roll her in. I hop inside to sit next to Marina’s head caressing her cheeks and kissing her forehead repeatedly.

She groans in pain, and begs for the pain to go away. I lay my face close to her head kissing her cheek near her ear repeatedly and whispering sweet nothings to her.

“Shh…shhh, you’re so strong bebê. You got this! It’s okay. You’re in good hands. I’m here, I won’t leave your side.” I kept whispering in her ear and kissing her hoping this will help her breath normally and calm down at least a little bit. And it does, she regulates her breath a little bit.

We reach the hospital and they wheel her into the emergency room. I run after the stretcher until I can lo longer see her. Right before she gets out of my sight, after everything she’s going through she cracks a small smile for half a second before pain overtakes her again. I sadly smile back mouthing “ I love you” to her.

After I can’t see her anymore, My legs give in and I sit on the chair. I think about all the possibilities. I decide to block these thoughts for a moment and reach my phone to call her parents, her team and my sister. I need her here to support me.

—————————

I’m pacing back and forth on the hallway. They still aren’t informing us about anything. Rafa reaches her hand out to me telling me to sit and calm down.

“I can’t take it anymore. WHY IS IT TAKING SO LONG TO SAY SOMETHING PUTAA” i begin to lose my temper.

Right after I yell that, we hear the door slide open and the doctor in charge comes out. Me and Rafa sprint near the doctor’s side asking for answers.

“How is she? Is she okay? Is she awake?” I ask a bunch of questions without taking a break. Rafa places her hand on my shoulder signaling for me to let the doctor talk.

“I have to say first, she is a very lucky woman. Is the hits would’ve been two centimeters more to the left side she would have been paralyzed from the waist down. But, fortunately she’s okay now. She will need to go through a long physical therapy before she goes back on the field again.” he said almost showing to expression in his voice whatsoever. Like he’s used to this.

“Can I see her?” I ask immediately.

“Yes you can, but please make it quick.” He said and left.

I go inside. I ooen the door and see her laying on the hospital bed hooked up to a bunch of things. She is slightly out due to the pain medications they gave her but she was awake. She tries to reach her hand out to me and fails with no energy. I sense this and run to sit next to her and grab her hand.

“Marina? Can you hear me , meu amor. Can you respond?” I ask her.

She nods her head for confirmation and begins talking slowly.

“Am I- okay, Ney? Am I paralyzed?” She asks slowly.

I explain everything to her and ler her know she needs time but she will be okay.

“I knew you were strong, bebê. You did amazing. I will be with you throughout all this after we get out of here. I will take care of you with my own hands and help you recover faster.” I promise her feeling as if this was my fault for no reason.

“I know, meu amor. And I love you, Ney.” She said weakly.

I kiss her forehead and hold her hands tighlty.

“I love you too, meu amor. Please, don’t scare me like this ever again.” I want her to promise me.

“I promise, bebê.”

#neymar imagine #neymar imagines #football imagines #football imagine #neymar x reader #neymar #football masterlist #masterlist #imagines #fanfiction

[tinandabin]

please tumble for the live of God let me give paragroah breaks plsZe

Yandere Mitsuri x Reader

High school AU.

____________________

<senpai kanroji>

hey [name]!! you are coming

to school tmrw right? :))

<[name]>

yes I am! why do u

ask?

<senpai kanroji>

oh, nothing much!! just wanted

to tell u that I will bring a home-

made bento for u! <33

<[name]>

aww ty! u don't

really have to tho.

<senpai kanroji>

no no, I insist!!

<[name]>

aaa, thank u!! I will ttyl <3

senpai kanroji unsent a message

______

To be honest, you always found Kanroji Senpai weird..I mean, she was already pretty affectionate with everyone. But it was clear to see her favouritism over you..She was just always so, so, so, affectionate with you. You feel suffocated everytime you are with her.

You were looking forward to not eating lunch with her tomorrow, but it seems like that can't happen. I mean, you could've refused her offer..and you did so, not as direct, but you tried. Besides, you wouldn't want your reputation to go down in the drains because who would reject such a sweet girl and make her cry? Whosoever will do that is obviously a monster! Senpai Kanroji has everyone wrapped around her finger..thankfully, not you.

Sighing heavily, you pulled the covers over yourself and went to sleep, dreading the next day. Not only because of school but Kanroji Senpai too. Hopefully, you'll live.

_________________

"Hey [name]!!," Senpai Kanroji enthusiastically waved at you, motioning for you to come to sit beside her. "Come, sit beside me!!" She smiled at you, blushing like crazy. Like girl, have some self-control.

Nervously laughing and trying your best to ignore all the eyes staring at you, you sat beside her and tried to smile at her. Keyword: tried. "Ahaha...What's up??" You asked because you don't like awkwardness, the people staring at you also don't, no one likes awkwardness.

"Awww," Kanroji Senpai cooed at your adorableness and hugged you, tightly, and softly muttered into your neck, "You are so cute!!"

Excitedly she got off you and presented you with the bento she made for you, and honestly, the smell of the food was really fucking delicious. Gordon Ramsay approved. And to be honest, you would have snatched the bento box out of her hands had she been someone else. But she isn't. This is so sad, Alexa play despacito. All of a sudden, Alexa starts playing despacito, having somehow found her way into your mind. She starts taking control over your body, and in no time are you the one singing Despacito.

Enough BULLSHITTING.

a/n: THIS IS THE AUTHOR GETTING BACK TO WRITING, BUCKLE UP U ALL. THIS IS A WARNING BECAUSE A LOT OF ANGST IS GONNA BE COMING UP IN NEW FICS. AFTER ALL, I AM MISERABLE AND SO WILL U ALL BE TOO.

"Say aaah, [Name]-Chan!" Mitsuri told you as she held a piece of fish ( cooked, duh ) with her chopsticks.

Awkwardly, you opened your mouth and wished you could just poof out of existence, like, I CAN FEED MYSELF MITSURI. THANK YOU NOT VERY MUCH.

"Good girl!" She chirped as she practically shoved the piece of fish down your throat, too eagerly waiting for you to finish eating. Like, is this shit poisoned? ( BINGO! You guessed it. )

After a good while of Mitsuri happily watching you eat, lunch was finally fucking over. Thank God, didn't think you could bear her anymore... The way she was watching you eat! Creep. She definitely could not ever pass your vibe check.

You headed towards your class, thankful that you and Mitsuri don't share the same class.. Because she's a senior. Atleast you will have some peace.

In no time school was over and all of you were allowed to head home. You had been feeling pretty sleepy after lunch, I mean the food Mitsuri made was pretty bomb, okay? Can't really blame you.

Yawning, you tiredly grabbed your bag, as you lazily started walking towards the exit. Most of the kids were heading towards their clubs, you hadn't really chosen which club to join yet. Besides, it is optional. So, the lesser the work the better for you. Studies are hard enough as they are.

Stopping by your locker, you changed your shoes and exited the school without seeing Senpai Mitsuri, thank God. It's a good thing she is in the cooking club. You wouldn't have to deal with her.

The more you walked, the more tired you got. Your eyes started feeling heavy and your body too. Before you knew it, you couldn't even walk properly. Leaning against a wall, you sat down there. Gradually, black dots started surrounding your vision and you were knocked out cold.

a/n: I'm gonna make a part 2 HAHHAHAHA. I HAVE NO idea what to do now. happy I got this out now 💪 it's been in my drafts for months now

MASTERLIST

just so u know requests for demon slayer are closed!!!!

#demon slayer #kny #kimetsu no yaiba #dark #yandere #yandere demon slayer #yandere kny #yandere x reader #yandere mitsuri #yandere mitsuri x reader #x reader #yanderes x reader #x y/n #reader x #demon slayer x reader #kanroji x reader #mitsuri kanroji #kny mitsuri #yandere mitsuri kanroji #yandere kanroji #yandere x y/n #yandere x darling #yandere mitsuri x y/n #yandere mitsuri kanroji x y/n #highschool au #hashiras #yandere hashira #yandere hashiras #yandere highschool au #yandere kny x reader

[sluttysnails334]

South Park characters college/university majors head cannons

Stan - he would either not go to college at all, and try to purse a career in music by playing at dive bars & gigs, OR he go into college probably undecided then major in veterinary science or marine biology but then realizes it’s not just loving on animals all day so he’ll drop out & go back to music but still volunteers at the humane society & has like a bunch of pets.

Kyle - pre law with entertainment business minor, wants to work in entertainment/film but was too scared to major in film out right, but is in the film club, and makes movies with them all the time. He’s also in SGA, and fights the board of trustees to give the arts more funding.

Cartman- He went to college for a semester majored in business but then flunked out but still tells people he has a degree, bc he “knows how to run a business” and works as a sleazy used car salesman, has to skip town a lot to avoid the fuzz.

Kenny - he goes into the military to afford college, and once he gets there he majors in finance & accounting so he can afford to care for his siblings. He went into the Air Force, because wanted to learn how to fly a plane lol.

Butters - Business & then gets his MBA, and starts up some sort of pyramid scheme. Think like Cutco Knives (iykyk) OR he majors in elementary ed, and minors in psychology to be a counselor at South Park Elementary. He tried to rush a frat, but wouldn’t make it past pledging.

Tweek- Double majoring in music and education, and technically says he is minoring in business just so his parents are happy but he really isn’t. He wants to become a music teacher. I think he’s in a music frat and takes Craig to their formals & date parties.

Craig - Mechanical Engineering for undergrad and then goes to get his masters in aerospace engineering, wants to build rockets and shit for NASA. He is so swapped with assignments, he practically lives in the library, he rlly doesn’t have time for clubs or greek life, so he just studies and when he isn’t studying he’s with Tweek or sleeping , when he parties which is rare, he almost always gets blacked out drunk. Everytime.

Tolkien - pre law with a minor in sport’s management, wants to become a sports agent. He’s in a frat but isn’t a total douche bag abt it, and in SGA with Kyle, overall really popular. Still plays bass and jams out with Stan from time to time. Ideal golden child college experience.

Jimmy - Acting, but drops out and moved to LA to pursue his comedy career. He liked college but decided it was a waste of money. When he could be getting more a real life experience. Still will go a frat party though

Clyde - Physical Education, he didn’t get any sports scholarships and decided that this was the best career route for him, he also ends up working at South Park elementary. He is a BIG frat guy lol, parties everyday. He is trying to get Craig to rush his frat. He is failing at this task.

Wendy - Pre Med with a minor in psychology, wants to be a children’s psychiatrist, and she SLAYS. She also joins a sorority but in an Elle Woods sort of way. I feel like she did her residency in San Francisco, and then sort of adapted that as her full personality.

Bebe - Journalism, wants a to be a news anchor. She is ur classic sorority girl, probably president, it’s giving Chanel vibes from Scream Queens but she way nicer, but will cut a bitch to further her career.

SGA = Student Government Association ( for my high school & Non American friends )

I’m currently in undergrad so these head-cannons are straight from my real life ahaha

#south park #headcanon #sp headcanons #college #university #college headcanons

[mephinomaly]

[TL] Easter/Epilogue

Location: Easter Fes, Opening Ceremony

Wataru: Ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to today’s Easter Fes…☆

Hinata: Kaboom! We’re jumping into action here at this opening ceremony, bringing bucket loads of energy––

Wataru + Hinata: We’re Puffy☆Bunny!

Hiiro: Easter Fes is a festival that runs from today until Easter Day!

I’m happy we’re starting our performance with a bang…♪

Shinobu: Spring is right around the corner! Until then, join us for a good time ♪

Mika: We’re gonna sing and dance a whole lot, but first we’re gonna have the time of our lives ♪ Everyone, follow us~

Hiiro: (Is it alright to have this much fun from the moment you step on the stage? It’s such an emotional feeling!)

(Everyone came here for us. They were initially surprised, and then immediately smiled afterwards, and it seems they’re excited.)

(...This is the first time I’ve experienced the culture of Easter. It’s a bright and fantastic festival.)

(I want everyone to have a good time, so I’m going to enjoy myself as much as I can until the very end…!)

Shinobu: (Nihihi ♪ By doing different facial expressions according to the song lyrics, the audience reacts differently!)

(Everytime I see it, I feel like it makes my movements get better, and makes me happy too. Somehow, my body feels lighter!)

(I have to hop and jump from one side of the stage to the other, to bring a smile to everyone’s faces ♪)

(Everyone’s grinning, and so are we. In the warm spring weather, their smiles are blooming like flowers…☆)

Mika: (Ahaha. Hiiro-kun and Shinobu-kun look like they’re havin’ so much fun.)

(I’m singin’ and movin’ around freely. I don’t get t’do a lot of stages like this, so I was kinda worried ‘bout it…)

(I ain’t worried at all now! I gotta make eye contact with everyone, highfive ‘em, and be full on ♪)

(I’m glad I get t’be a part of an Easter event again. It's gonna make me happy too.)

(It’ll be good if we can bring joy t’everyone through Easter. That’s why I’m gonna do my very best~♪)

Hiiro: ♪♪♪♪♪~... ☆

Shinobu: ♪♪♪♪♪~... ☆

Mika: ♪~ ♪~ ☆

Hinata: (Jumping out from Easter eggs, using a cannon and screens makes for a surprising live!)

(Then running and hopping around… and communicating with everyone in the audience!)

(Booyah ☆ It’s mad to think that this is just the beginning of a superrrr fun festival, right?)

(I’m glad that everyone agreed to being a part of this unit, and I’m glad everyone wanted to do this all together!)

(Puffy☆Bunny still has some ways to go ☆ We’re gonna make this even better…!)

(So let’s keep getting along and doing our best! Hibiki-senpai ♪)

Wataru: (Amazing! I have been the recipient of Hinata-kun’s charming gaze instead of the audience members.)

(...If you think about it, this is quite the wonderful approach. After all this hesitation and confusion, we are able to exchange innocent looks upon this stage.)

(Fufufu. Maybe this has been a good experience…)

(This is proof of joy from how I’m moving my body! I’m enjoying this from the very bottom of my heart, and I’m able to live to the fullest!)

(Not just now, but until the very end of the Easter Fes, dancing around cheerfully…)

(The arrival of spring, and everyone here. I will––we will bring the warm pitter patter of your hearts ☆)

Wataru + Hinata: ♪~ ♪~...☆

Wataru: Easter is about new life. Throughout the world, this spring festival is dearly loved–

Hinata: We want you to love us as much as you love Easter!

Wataru: The curtains on this Fes have just opened. Please enjoy yourselves with us until Easter Day arrives…♪

Location: The sky

Hinata: Uwaa, we’re up so high! So this is the view Hibiki-senpai normally sees…!

I’m more than happy to be flying at the same height as you, I’m so emotional. The wind feels super good…

…Oopsies, we’re totally slacking right now. We’re meant to be advertising for the Easter Fes from this balloon ♪

Wataru: You’re a hard working person, aren’t you, leader? You just enjoy the scenery. This Wataru Hibiki is raining down leaflets and flowers…☆

Hinata: Hey, let’s go halfsies ♪ Then I can share the workload with my senpai.

Wataru: Very well… Oya?

Please look over here. There are so many people waving up at us from the ground.

Hinata: Ahaha, there really is! I wonder if they’re all people who came to the Easter Fes…

Wataru: I can hear them shouting out our names, so it must be so. Shall we throw down some flowers and wave back?

Hinata: Hell yeah! We’re all anxiously awaiting the arrival of spring. Though it’s a tad early, let’s shout down to them–

Wataru + Hinata: HAPPY EASTER…☆

prev

directory

this is the final chapter :)

#ensemble stars #enstars #translation #puffy bunny #easter to you #wataru hibiki #hinata aoi #shinobu sengoku #hiiro amagi #mika kagehira

[sunlightandsuffering]

Hey Lys! This is tiktok anon and I’m back at it with poorly describing a tiktok I saw because I still don’t know how to share them and not my profile!!

So basically the video is a guy talking about being at the club with his two friends while they’re making out while he awkwardly dances behind them… and it instantly made me think of Armin in an AU where Eren and Mikasa aren’t together but everytime they get a little tipsy they’re definitely those friends who hook up together 🤣 and poor Armin just has to put up with these two shamelessly shoving their tongues down each other’s throats while he’s trying to vibe 😭😭

Oh wow! Lol HII tik tok anon, it's been a hot minute my friend omg hope ur doing well! AHAHA omg i love those dynamics tho, I kinda wanna write an AU like that where they're not together, they're JUST friends but like they high key hook up whenever the opportunity presents itself and they're just in constant denial lol!!! omg poor Armin tho, mans is telling everyone until he's blue in the face that they fuck, but no one believes him they're like 😪 Armin they're just friends, this poor mans.

[masterandapprentice]

Hello! Wanted to say I really enjoy your blog! :D I’m new to the NFL, but it seems some people only support a single team and others maybe have a main team but also like other teams/players. So, I was curious how you came to be a fan of the NFL teams you support? And the players that you like? (And, if you want to share, how you started shipping some of the pairings that you like?)

Thank you! Hope to see you post more works soon, I really enjoy them 😊

Hi there, dear anonymous! :D

So sorry for the late replay! (I didn't forget your questions, just took me a lot more than I wanted to answer you ;) so, this is gonna be long ;)

First of all, thank you for your comments! So glad You like this kinda weird blog here haha, I appreciate it!

Sooo, let's go for the answers!

Yes, I do know there are people who only "support" one team, but I think, maybe, they are fan of a more than one, they just don't say that loud because of certain fandoms haha :P. In my case, I don't care to say it openly, I do support more than one, but, they are like ranked xD

I have been an NFL fan since I was like 10 or something, my older brothers usted to watch sports all day, and well, being the only girl (besides my mom) between a family of 6 it kinda guided me through all this wonderful NFL world :D

Specifically, I've been a Steelers fan for more or less 26 years. It all started when I saw Jerome Bettis running and scoring a touchdown and that's when I saw a curious largue banner holding on that side that said "The bus stops here" so, for me was like "what does that mean?" Ahahaha XD Then I knew Bettis was called "The bus", so, everything made sense in a funny way, and I liked that, and watching him running and people cheering and screaming for him for just going to the end zone with a ball was a great sensation xD (didn't understand still what was all of that football thing was ahahaha), I don't know, my brothers did the same when watching the Raiders play (yes, unfortunately, they were Raiders fans and now they are Cowboys ahaha xD), and I feel the same in that moment and continued to watch Steelers games and becoming a fan. Ups and Downs, wins and losses, superbowls, retirements, change of coaches, a lot to say in all of those years but pretty satisfying :).

At that time I didn't have a favorite player, but all changed when Roethlisberger debuted and he became my fav instantly :).

I didn't root for any other team at that time, until I watched Aaron Rodgers debut with Green Bay (It was love at first sight honestly hahaha, he was sooo cute!) so I also wanted Packers to win everytime and they got the place of my "second favorite team" :3, it was always so nice when they played. And of course he was also one of my fav players.

I must day I also cheered for a couple of other teams, but nothing too serious :P (Ravens and Titans, but just when they are not facing the Steelers or Packers lol)

After that, came the Chiefs. To be honest I never cheered for them until Mahomes. At first I kinda hated them lol and was because after they won the Super Bowl against 49's, everyone was talking about the Chiefs and Mahomes being like the new Patriots, and I just thought "Oh God, not another Brady please" xD

And I was sooooo wrong.

The next season, I fell in love with them. Completely. Not just Mahomes (which I loved once I saw him playing and smiling. Sorrynotsorry) but also Kelce, they were my 2 favorite players but I must say I liked them as a team, as a whole, so they became my new -tied with Packers- favorites :D.

Of course, Steelers are -and always be- number 1, but for now, as they are on a reconstruction period, Chiefs are getting higher and higher ahaha, but I loved them anyway :)

And finally! Jets! Just because is Aaron's new team, so, no discussion here :P

About pairings, well, that's funny because I liked yaoi and MalexMale relationships since I was in high school (so many years ago xD) and I have always found pairings I like, even if the anime/movie/series is not properly yaoi/gay (that's the beauty of imagination ;) )

I have been into sports for a long time (specially male sports, of course that's the extra plus visual I enjoy a lot lol) but almost never thought of them being involved in that way, too much testosterone never let me imagine 2 alpha guys in a relationship like that xD

But.... there's always an exception for everything haha ;D

One time (and it was no long ago) that I was looking on the internet for some players statistics for my fantasy, as I was having Rodgers as my QB and wanted to make a detailed plan for winning the fantasy that year :3, and I found a short, erotic"fic" about him and Alex Smith and I was like "OMG! What the hello I'm reading here!" XD it was funny, because never imagined that kind of guys like that, but, it surely woke up something in my mind that now allows me to imagine them :3

Of Course, Rodgers was one of my favs, and I started looking for more stories with him and.... guess who? Mahomes! Yes! I thought they would fit perfectly, and most of all, I love age-difference pairings, so they were like made for each other ❤️.

Mahomes x Kelce, not so much to say... best friends, same team, great connection, both hot sexy guys, why not? Ahahaha, yeah!

And, there are also other pairings I like but mostly is Rodgers/Mahomes my fav so far :D

OMG! That was too long!! I mean, who writes so much answering a question? xD sorry for the book.

But I really appreciate your lovely comments ❤️, i'll do my best for writing more and post them soon :D

Thank you so much!!!!! And again sorry for the delay!!! :) anything else I'm still here ;)

#nfl #questions #i write a lot lol

[livelle]

hiya liv :D

id like to request a tommy fic please! prompt is that some other streamer (doesn’t have to be an actual one) tries flirting with you and tommy gets jealous

thank you :))

a/n: HIIIIIII I LOVE UU, THANK YOU FOR THE REQUEST MY DEAR! I hope u like this, I made this at school lol. Thank you all for the requests, it's a lot so you may have to wait a while before it's made!!! I love you!!!

'You stop right there'

a Tommyinnit/ You!!

summary: You had streamed the entire night, a new guest coming on your stream. He was new to everything, so you showed him around the Origins SMP, and also just talked about random things. He was, however, not shy at all. You had noticed multiple times he was trying to flirt with you, it was pretty obvious. You wanted to just brush it off, but your boyfriend – who was watching the stream – was quite frustrated.

( I like this request!! I don’t wanna do this with an actual streamer though, so i made one up myself! He’s called ‘SalesHQ’, and his name used is Sam.)

THEY/THEM

ROMANTIC

SWEARING 

You laughed once more. Sam didn’t quite understand how his Minecraft had changed now he was on the Origins SMP. ‘No, you’re basically a snake, poisonous, but there’s bad sides on it too.’ You explained. ‘Right, right! And you? What kind of a hybrid are you?’ he asked. ‘Well, I’m a rabbit hybrid lol’ you answered. ‘So you can jump really high!’ he guessed, and he was right. ‘Exactly!’ you gave him that. ‘And Tommy is a chicken, which is really funny. He falls really slowl-‘ you tried, but Sam interrupted you. ‘Yeah, yeah. Aye Y/n, look at me.’ You turned your head in game, and he was stood next to you, crouching. You were punching each other, and laughing. The stream went well, and you ended origins after a bit of trolling on the server, and switched to the ‘Just Chatting’ category. Chat could see your discord call, and he was on screen as well. You laughed, and just talked about random thing. Right now, that was places and where you wanted to live. ‘But you should really come to London, Y/n, we could do all sorts of stuff together!’ he commented. You didn’t really know what to say to that, and looked at chat. They were spamming the sus side eye emotes, so you knew they were thinking the same thing. ‘Well, I don’t come to London quite often, ahaha,’ you started awkwardly. ‘Oh! And me and Tommy share an apartment in Brighton now-‘ you mentioned, but he cut you off once more. ‘You should come to London though, who knows what we’ll do.’ You were weirded out, you had mentioned Tommy multiple times, and he was aware that you were dating ( you hoped ). Everytime you would mention Tom, or just something that had to do with him, he cut you off. You were a bit naïve at first, but you understood now. He was trying to flirt. He made another comment. ‘Show me your room,’ and you turned your camera, and stood up. His eyes widened as he clearly looked you up and down. You showed him some things that were stood on your drawers and desks, and you quickly sat down again. ‘You look cute,’ he tried once more, and you were sat with your throat unable to let out a noise, unable tos peak. You felt HIGHLY uncomfortable. It was fun at first, but now he was just straight up hitting on you, ON STREAM may I add. ‘You’re so pretty’s and ‘no, stay in the call’s were thrown at you by him. You continued the stream, desperate to do good for the chat, but he was ruining it. Suddenly, after another comment was made a minute ago, the door of your office barged open.

You looked at it, wondering who the hell had opened the lock of your office. It was Tommy. And he didn´t have the happiest look on his face. He looked at you, and signalled you to end stream. He came as your saviour, and you had never been so glad to end your stream. So you said your goodbye to chat ´Buh bye!!!´ and it was over. ´Why´d you end so suddenly, hm?’ Sam said, pretty  intimidating. You were glad your boyfriend was here, because you would feel scared if he wasn’t. Tommy came in frame, and started talking to the boy. ‘Look, my man, what you just did, is so not okay. First of all, Y/n is streaming. And you embarrassed them in front of a lot of people. Second of all, they have expressed multiple times they have a boyfriend, which is me, for god’s sake.’ You looked at the screen, and saw all the colour fade from Sam’s face. He listened to Tommy, still surprised he was actually here, and Sam was being called out. ‘You are a bad fucking person, and if you ever talk to Y/n again, especially like that, I will come to London personally and beat the shit out of you. Heard me?’ you were surprised, and looked at Tommy. Secretely, you thought this was quite attractive, that he stood up for you, and was so protective. You bit back a smile. Sam nodded, and left the call.

‘You didn’t-’ you began, but it didn’t matter, cause he already hushed you with a kiss. ‘Look Y/n, I’m so so sorry he made you this uncomfortable. You look gorgeous tonight, that he was right in.’ and he kissed you again and again, happy you were his, and no one else’s. ‘C’mon, let’s go home.’ He grabbed your hand and you walked towards your shared home, fingers tangled into each other as you held hands.

a/n: I’m so sorry if this is bad, this is quite rushed, but I will probably make more tonight!! Not sure, I don’t want to overwork myself!! Lots of kisses, and hugs

- oli!

#tommyinnit #tom simons #tommyinnit x reader #tommyinnit x you #tommyinnit fluff #origins smp #mcyt imagine #dsmp tommy #dsmp #tommyinnit imagine

[kaorucafe]

Minnie your new blog is so pretty!!! :000!!! love the soft pink vibe its so comfy...might i get headcanons for rei, kaoru, and kuro with a fem!idol!s/o? thank you in advance~

✩. .thank ya so much! okay so as soon as i have read this request i felt the urge to write it because i love idol!au -and idols too, im listening to snsd 2011 live rn AHAHA- ANYWAYS HERE YOU GO AND THANK YOU AGAIN~

Rei with a fem!idol!s/o

ღ,. he knows it, of course~ and he really enjoys the fact that you're an idol too! already watched some of your lives online, and oh my god: already in love with your skills! but when he watched you in person he was so astounded...yeah! that's his s/o! thought it is hard to believe...www

ღ,. he was so speechless! your vocals!! dance!!! everything is just too much for him! he's proud ol' grandpa =w= after your lives, expect him to come hug you tightly and say stuff only an old man like him would say ww acts like a big bro at times you know~ and i think that he would spread a lot stuff about you such as a new song, or an album, or a photoshoot! so your fans know that you're doing your best٩(๑ˆOˆ๑)۶

Kaoru with a fem!idol!s/o

ღ,. you're both idols, and he had a looot of scandals, but when it was announced that you two were together everyone was so happy actually! -yet, there are still some close-minded people that are jealous but yeah that happens www, but the most of ur fans were supportive and happy for you two! loves to see you perform, and so happy to hear you sing while there's a loud fanchant in the background~ "uoh, does [name] really have this much fans? heh, very proud~"

ღ,. would constantly ask rei to perform with you until he doesn't agree...he would absolutely love to go on stage with you, singing on different harmonies that perfectly balance~ and he's already planning to practice for your next live! when you're there, he loooves practicing more than he ever did ww let's not forget mentioning that he's more than supportive and he'll enjoy every single thing you do as an idol!! (pspsps fans even gave you two a ship name~ and can't wait for you two to get a photoshoot together😽)

Kuro with a fem!idol!s/o

ღ,. he's like a proud dad: throwing a big thumbs up with a smirk everytime you're on stage, doing perfectly that step you found so difficult during practice, after a lot of tries~ the sight makes you chuckle, but right now you have to focus on your exhibition! he would absolutely buy some merch of yours and even make you an outfit for your debut...how nice of him! make sure you give your best, okay?

ღ,. always inviting you to practice together! you have some difficulties hitting a very high note? no worries~ he'll tell you that you're doing your best, you'll hit that in a couple days for sure..! same goes for a step, he's learning it so that he can explain it better to you! also expect to find flowers behind the scenes of your next stage, from an anonymous that loves you a lot~☆

#ensemble stars headcanons #ensemble stars #ensemble stars kaoru x reader #ensemble stars rei x reader #ensemble stars kuro x reader #rei sakuma #kaoru hakaze #kuro kiryu #rei sakuma x reader #kaoru hakaze x reader #kuro kiryu x reader #idol!au #minmin's imagination

[iz-star]

For the character meme: Rangiku for 7 and 18 :D

Character ask meme!

Oh my, you shouldn't have asked for Rangiku because, honestly I could talk for hours about her!! I'll try my best to not ramble about her too much and not to make this an essay ahaha.

What do you like most about this character?

This is a simple yet interesting question when it's about her, because as I mentioned in a previous post, Rangiku wasn't a character to whom I felt a special connection at first, and it was actually something totally opposite: I repelled her a lot due to several reasons though, for this you have to take into account that I was really young and I watched Bleach in a moment were computers were dinosaurs and you could download anime eps only using those suspect softwares that also downloaded a lot of virus and you could get a movie about other... uh, spicy stuff instead of the anime ep you were looking for! So I watched Bleach several years ago and I wasn't into anime that much and the fanservice that Rangiku represented was big for me and I felt I couldn't look at her without feeling uncomfortable ahaha.

I would talk about other reasons as to why I didn't like her at first but this is about what I like about her the most so it's just not time for that. I'm just so happy that a character that I used to despise became this important and inspiring to me and here's why:

Everytime I see this panel going around, I notice that people always tend to focus on Gin's dialogue "The day we met is your birthday" but here I'd like to focus on Rangiku's part: "I never really counted days until I met you". This, as subtle as it is, give us an insigth of how was Rangiku's life before she met Gin: her life, according to her, wasn't good enough to even care about counting days.

And since life in Rukongai isn't easy it isn't difficult to get why; the first time Gin found her she was dying from hunger, not only because of her spiritual pressure but because she lived on her own and to afford oneself food when everything that surrounds you it's poverty and crime, it's to be expected that before she met Gin she wasn't living, she was surviving.

Now, we also know that some of Aizen's men followed her and stole her powers and even though we don't know the details —she was probably beaten up as far as we now—, to that, you have to add that until now, her only support system, the person that helped her to feel the need to count days, the person that represented hope for her; her only friend in the world; Gin, left her behind.

We also don't know how this happened. We get the idea it was gradually since there's a flashback where Rangiku wakes up alone and with a sad face knowing Gin had left her, make us understand this wasn't the first time. After that, we have to give a high jump until the end of the war against Aizen and to remember her words, thanking Gin for not leaving her any memory she could hold onto, because if Gin had done that she admits she wouldn't have been able to move on. So, as long as what canon tells us, Gin and Rangiku's backstory is purely based in their childhood.

So, how, a little girl like her that was always alone ended up being this self-confident woman and strong lieutenant?

There.

This is what I love about her. We simply don't know how she was able to live on her own and to become the person who she is, but she did it. She didn't allow her past to follow her enough to ruin her life (and all of this happened in her childhood, a stage of life that it's extremly important and shapes your way of interacting with the world and protect yourself from it).

She still has some coping mechanism tho —like sleeping too much or drinking, as we saw she did when Gin was causing some troubles and made her feel stressed— but that's fine because she doesn't allow those coping mechanisms to destroy her life.

She's beautiful and she knows it, she knows how to enjoy life and help others to enjoy it. She's also chameleon in the sense that she always knows how to help those around her which isn't the same in most cases: We have her smiling to Kira and getting drunk with him to help him to alleviate his uneasiness and then both can curse Gin together, we also have her tickling Orihime to make her laugh and not allow herself to get carried away by the strenght of her negative feelings, we also have her being serious but understanding and giving Momo a few comforting words and risking her position in order to give her the letter Aizen left her (something which we didn't expect would end up making things worse but in the moment it was an instant comfort to Momo). We also have her standing on Toshiro's behalf when a shopkeeper was being rude to him and next moment she was yelling at him and ordering him to be a man.

The way she comforts and helps others isn't the same because Rangiku knows the best way to help others according to what she knows about them. She ends up giving a lot from herself to others and she's simply the kind of person that makes things to feel normal when everything is out of place.

She can be bubbly and reassuring and the next moment she can be ready for battle in a wink of an eye. She's confident, strong in despite of the fact that a huge part of her soul was taken from her; she's a respected lieutenant and despite the way she looks, she's not someone who judges others based on their looks so she isn't shallow neither.

She's become this wonderful woman and she's done all of that by herself. We know someone along her way shoul've helped her, (like maybe Isshin? for example) but we just don't know how it happened or who was it, we simply know she's just trying to live her best afterlife despite all the things she's went through and as simply as that, for a short answer; her incredible resilience is one of the things I love about her the most.

18- What’s something you associate this character with? E.g. a certain colour, object or scenery?

I'll try to be quick with this one since I think I've already extended a lot in the first question ahaha.

To start with, one of the things I relate to her the most is the color palette that I use to draw her haha. I see something with a similar color palette and she's the first thing that comes to my mind. That's something that has also made me to relate her to this kind of scenery:

This one for example includes the kind of yellowish/strawberry color of her hair, the pink of her scarf and the black of her shihakusho. It's actually one of my projects to draw her in a scenary like this and with this color palette.

Another thing I relate to her a lot is her necklace. Everytime I see a necklace I always look for similarities with hers ahaha.

And of course, the songs I relate to her always bring her to my mind, but better leave that for another post.

Thank you so much for asking!! ♥♥♥

#ask meme #rangiku matsumoto #matsumoto rangiku #rays-of-fire-and-ice #I love Rangiku so much that after writing this I feel like sobbing ahaha #I hope that since Tite clarified that the anime will expand some of the events of the last arc we get to see what he had planned initially #or at least we get to see more of her #maybe her training with Toshiro during the few days they had before the second quincy invasion!

[twatshag]

♤crack drabbles with the haikyuu boys next to their crushes♤

Warnings: just the boys being a bunch of weirdos and embarrassing themselves in front of y/n

Genre: fluff, crack

Pairings: kuroo, miya Atsumu and Miya osamu

—----------------------------------------------—

Miya Atsumu

You came along with kita to help out with some things in the gym since your one of the members of the student council

Checking everything to make sure that everything was in order for you to give him the okay for the new practice idea kita had planned

You're a second year and a very good student so it was quite the surprise when you were invited to join the student council as only third years were accepted

You were classmates with the Miya twins and suna so you weren't really new to their antics yet alone the volleyball team as you were popular for your position at inarizaki high

Atsumu was so excited to hear that you're going to be coming over to the gym thinking about the many ways he could impress you to land a date with you

But to his dismay kabedoning you 3 meters away from the wall only for him to fall face flat when you ducked out of his caging arms wasn't really one of his plans to impress you

"Are you alright Miya-san?!" You called out eyes wide at how the boy in front of you laid face flat and mumbling how life is so cruel to him and maybe if he was a volleyball he would've been happier face and tip of his ears redder than a tomato

"L/n-san can ya come check if da storage room looks alrite?" Kita called out for you. you left the faux blonde still face flat on the floor still too embarrassed to get up

Glancing one last look at him wondering if he has iron deficiency to fall face flat while trying to talk to you

Osamu: quite ta skills ya got tere 'sumu

Suna: you did so well I have it all on video to take notes for the next girl I approach

Earning a loud groan from the faux blonde as he got up telling them to shut up.

Yeah they never shut up about it and atsumu gets so red whenever he sees you in the hall and you wave at him. He probably runs past you too. And kita would scold him for being rude and also for running in the hallway.

Safe to say, atsumu learned that kabedon is done 1 inch to the wall and maybe it's not that effective in real life. But hey maybe if you try it out it'll work?

Miya Osamu

He is a strong believer of food is the key to anyone's heart

You and osamu were table partners you both helped each other and got well acquainted over time

You both could say you were really good friends

Osamu has had the biggest crush on you for ages glaring at any guy you talked to and getting all in your business with the dumbest excuses

He thought it'd be great to make you something small like cupcakes and confess who doesn't love cupcakes right?

He read a few recipes and made different types of cupcakes and during lunch time he asked if youd like to have lunch with him

Of course you agreed very excited to have lunch with the Miya osamu

He sat down and gave you the box of cupcakes sadly out of the many flavours he's baked you chose the one you were allergic to

You ate it so fast not processing what flavour it was exactly and he was about to start confessing until you started choking

His soul left his body at that point you were coughing and gasping apologising for the way you handled his sweetly cupcakes until you were rushed to the nurses office

Of course it wasn't deadly for you but it sadly isn't the most comfortable experience for dessert that your body refused to have.

Till this day he is unable to look you in the eye embarrassed to ever talk to you about food again

Yes you reassured him it wasnt his fault

Yes you tried to talk to him

But hes just traumatised its okay girl just give him some time to try again

Atsumu: and ya call me an abusive pig you just made a girl choke on yer cupcakes!

Osamu: please for ta love of god shut up before a make ya

Aran: I believe your idea was cute osamu but that truly wasn't the way to confess you brought a whole other meaning to getting your face stuffed with food

Suna: ahaha word

Resulting in him banging his head against the gym grounds and wishing that he didn't mess up his chance at being your boyfriend. Don't worry though you'll fix that right? Its not like he tried to kill you........that requires a lot of strong will may you add.

Kuroo Testuro

Bless his soul he was just trying to be a good friend or maybe more

Being nekoma's volleyball manager sure was a challenge but you loved the boys so much!

Especially their captain oh boy was he hot but hey you were still new to finding out about your crush on him so you weren't very very flustered

His pick up lines did get you flustered though little do you know he gets flustered when you smile at him

Today he decided he wanted to ask you out but to his surprise you were talking to some guy and he was being very "touchy" with you in his opinion

He rolled his eyes and he didnt even read if you were comfortable or not because his ass was too jealous

Being the volleyball team captain he always wanted to make sure everyone was okay and safe

Kuroo walked over yanking the boy away from you and glaring at him

"KUROO-SAN WHY DID YOU DO THAT TO MY KOHAI?!"

Yeah he wanted the ground to crack and swallow him

Stuttering out shocked apologises with the biggest blush on his face

Yeah he couldn't face you for a while cringing everytime at the memory

Kenma: you know you could've just done it nonchalantly instead making a scene like that..

Kuroo: here's your psp, play

Kenma: but y-

Kuroo: I SAID PLAY

Yeah kuroo isn't a fan of mirrors anymore poor guy can't even face himself anymore bless his soul maybe you could kiss it better?

—----------------------------------------------—

A/N: IM SO FULL OF ENERGY I FEEL LIKE I CAN WRITE FOR HOURS WOOHOO hope ya enjoyed

-kira

#haikyuu fluff #haikyuu x reader #kuroo fluff #kuroo crack #atsumu x reader #atsumu fluff #atsumu drabble #kuroo drabble #osamu drabble #osamu fluff #haikyuu x manager

[lisxdumbr]

FUSION UNIT 07 — Crazy:B × 2wink

▷▶ Sections 4 to 6 (Liveblog)

← Previous ▽ Next →

"When HiMERU puts his index fingers near his cheeks, it shows a gap between his appearance~!"

▽▲▽▲▽▲▽▲▽▲

This is only a liveblog, that means I'm just summarizing the story while adding a couple of personal reactions. It also means it's not proofread!! proceed at your own risk, take it with a grain of salt too.

▽▲▽▲▽▲▽▲▽▲

▷▶ Section 4 - 2

After playing Honeycomb Summer (Niki's SPP very lame, I won't lie) the first thing we get to see is Niki!

Niki: That was Honeycomb Summer by Crazy:B~ I think about this everytime we perform this song.

Niki: When HiMERU puts his index fingers near his cheeks, it shows a gap between his appearance~!

This is a reference to Honeycomb Summer's ending, the pose all of them do when Niki winks.

SO NIKI THINKS OF HIMERU GAP MOE EVERYTIME THEY PERFORM? HOLD UP I NEED A MOMENTHBWBQBD AND HE THINKS IT'S WHOLESOME, MY HEART,,,

HiMERU: Like this? (makes the pose)

HE DID THE FJWRKEKRK I need a moment this is too much for me to take INHALES

Niki laughs "ahaha, yes! the audience cheers~!" and to be honest, who wouldn't, in this house we love Merumeru

Kohaku: Niki-han was the most brilliant in our performance today though? He managed to transmit his cheerful spirit!

Again: Kohaku dialect hard. BUT KOHAKYUN THINKS OF NIKI THAT WAY WWW he's so cute, they're so cute.

So Niki goes like "awawaww I get shy when you say it to my face!" your highness, I love him. "but it's true that I feel very cheerful~!"

Niki: Well, when I introduced myself I said I'd send the best smiles! I'll do my very best till the end~

NIKI NUTRITIONAL SMILE FOR THE HEART !!!

Rinne: Hey, stop praising Niki and praise me instead, see? Rinne smile~ (makes the index fingers pose just like HiMERU).

WHY IS THIS FUNNY LMFAOOOO

HiMERU is like "Amagi you're so greedy, why do you want everything for yourself?" I can see his intentions to punch him from here. But Rinne is like "I don't want to hear that from the guy who started with the stupid poses." LMAO they can't stay more than an hour without fighting, everytime.

So Kohaku speaks again and stops the little fight (thank you) "HiMERU, I think the next song is ready, so please..." And of course HiMERU does what he says because "OMG OUKAWA!!!" we know how it works.

Next. "Ariadne on your fingertips." Please feel HiMERU's heat with your whole body.

HIMERU?????? Please tell me I misread,,,, I just checked, I did NOT misread oh my god

I GOT ARIADNE'S PERFECT COMBO--- this was unexpected.

▽▲▽▲▽▲▽▲▽▲

▷▶ Section 5 - 2

So Rinne says the live is about to end, but people should stay excited till the very end? Stop talking in tipsy man language bruh, can't you see I barely know jp? 🗿🗿🗿

Niki says 2wink is about to take the scenario! With their song "Attention Please" NIKI IS THE FANDOM'S MOOD BRO, NO ONE CALLS THAT SONG BY IT'S ACTUAL NAME it's just "Attention Please" everytime, so true.

HiMERU says "see you later" and they go backstage.

BACKSTAGE

Rinne greets Anzu, since she was watching the performance just like she did with 2wink.

Kohaku asks how they did and if they were better than 2wink? idk bro, at least that's what I could interpret because the kanjis made no sense 🗿 He says he trusts Anzu's criteria aww

Kohaku: Though I want you to say that we were the best! Their next song is also very good

HE,,, TINY. BABY WWWW LOVE HIM SO MUCH

Niki cheers up Koha. "Yes! This is just the beginning, we can definitely beat them!!" my little competitive bees, how am I not supposed to love them

HiMERU: The cheers grew, looks like 2wink has taken the stage.

DID RINNE JUST--- OMG WAIT

Rinne: .... They're pretty tough, huh? They're only two people in that unit, yet they equal Crazy:B's level.

HE, HE-- HE ACKNOWLEDGED THEM??? HIS LOOK IS ACTUALLY SO SINCERE JUST LIKE HIS VOICE,,, SOFT SPOT RINNE I'M---

See this is why I can't hate Rinne, everytime he stops his little bastard masking he's so sincere and caring, I love him wwww

Niki: Oh? it's unusual to see Rinne praising someone.... it's going to rain hard today

The surprised face ⚰️⚰️⚰️

Rinne: Shut up, Niki. Should I throw you to the audience's seats? huh?

HWBWKQ I love them, of course Niki regrets his life choices now.

Ok, Niki found the monitor that transmits the Live backstage! he wants to see 2wink's performance

HiMERU says their flashy fanservice looks actually very good, so he wants to see them too! everyone gets near the monitor when the live is about to start.

Wow 2wink, you got both Meru's and Rinne's approval today, good for you

We get to play Greetings ☆ 2wink Performers, known as "Attention Please" by both, Niki and normal people in this fandom. After that we okay Risky Venus!

▽▲▽▲▽▲▽▲▽▲

▷▶ Section 6 - 3

Rinne: I hope you enjoyed "RISKY VENUS", your cheering was awesome!

Rinne: Next one is the last song, like it or not, so please enjoy it? "Play Tag"

This is 2wink's route, in Crazy:B's route an alternative version of this section is shown where Hinata thanks for the cheers of "Greetings ☆ 2wink performers" and introduces "Be the Party Bee."

Sections 4 - 6 end.

▽▲▽▲▽▲▽▲▽▲

Last section was very very little this time, but tomorrow's are huge so I hope that compensates it! (that's more work for me though </3) I'll be correcting mistakes from the my past posts in the next days!

#i can't believe I've come so far with this omg #i feel I'm getting better at it #let's goo #enstars #ensemble stars #fusion unit #crazy:b #2wink #lemon squash cheers #❝ ritz.tls !! #❝ ritz.txt !!

[castawavy]

im almost caught up on Critical Role C3 and Im starting to get into it a lot I’m on episode 8 atm

Travis’ new PC is HILARIOUS I absolutely die everytime Chetney speaks it’s so funny, I’m also loving Sam playing a do-gooder for a change AHAHA even tho I love how rat he still is (somehow) him eating the coins 😭❤ After I’ve finished I am going to go back to where I was in C2 as I’m about halfway, then after that I miiiight try C1 since I loved TLOVM and I want to see them play that honestly as the storyline with the Briarwoods SLAPPED!! Robbie is such a good guest as well I kind of wish he was staying but I guess it can’t be forever (at least I heard he was a guest)? When Matt roleplays Mister as well it’s like my favourite thing AH like roleplaying an aggressive monkey perfectly to a T 👏

I didn’t get to play DnD this weekend and I was literally gutted 😭 I miss playing my wood elf MILF aaaaa espeicially cause we’re about halfway through Curse of Strahd now and it’s starting to get super high stakes now - I mean my original elf died a couple of sessions ago now and we haven’t even had a chance to lay her to rest yet KHSLKDKDH

#critical role #dnd #dungeons and dragons #creztalks