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notyour-valentine · 2 years

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The Boy in the Window 11 ~ Tommy Shelby x Reader (Series)

Chapter Summary: (Y/N) tries to help Tommy best she can in the aftermath of the shooting

Notes: Thank you all on your wonderful words. As I have an unpredictable schedule these next few days, I will try to interact with you lovely people as much as I can but I can't make promises. I'm not ignoring you, I swear!

. I do not consent to my work being translated, copied or posted elsewhere on this platform or any other.

Here, you can find my [Masterlist] and the [Series Masterlist]

Warning: Canon conforming mention of violence(18/21+). Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Expect spoilers for Peaky Blinders Season 1-4.

Wordcount: 3557

Part 11

[Previously]

She had made sure the water was more warm than hot before she let the wash cloth soak in it.

Thomas Shelby was older than her, taller, stronger. He had a presence beyond age, and commanded more authority than the king, at least in any world she had ever known.

And yet the way he sat on the edge of her bed reminded her of a little boy, with sunken shoulders and his head too heavy for his neck.

(Y/N) set the bowl down on a chair and began.

It wasn't that he was dirty, not in the least bit like her husband had been when he returned home from work, but it had always soothed him so it was worth a try.

She wrung the cloth to the point where it didn't drip anymore before bringing it up to his face. Starting right above the brow, she began to gently dab his face, moving down bit by bit. Even if there was no dirt to remove, she hoped the warmth would sink through his skin and melt the icy terror inside him.

Tommy let her.

He let her do everything tonight.

As soon as he had let her convince him to take him home, all strength for argument had vanished. He had let her sit him down in a chair, had drunk the tea she had pushed towards him and even ate some of the soup she had offered. Then he had let her take his hand and lead him up the stairs and now he let her wash him.

As she did, she was met with the same reaction as before- wide eyes and solemn silence, coming from slightly parted lips, from which heavy breaths escaped.

His hands had begun to tremble shortly before she had gone to fetch the water, being the deciding factor in her choice to try this. Still, he stayed silent.

Once she had finished with his face she dipped the cloth in the water once more. Then she reached for his hand. Even when she held it in hers, it still trembled.

"I got three.", He whispered, as she reached the palm after cleaning the outside.

(Y/N) glanced up slightly and she was met by his eyes, looking at her, truly looking at her, and not just the space she occupied.

"Alright.", She said, tracing his palm once more.

"So much death.", He whispered.

Better them than you, she thought and made a mental note to include that thought in her next confession.

(Y/N) moved on to his other hand.

"I got three.", He said once more, but his voice was thicker this time, as if he only now realised the implications of his words.

"One of them point blank."

She swallowed hard as she began to bring the warm cloth to the inside of his right hand.

"Point blank, (Y/N)!", He whispered, leaning closer.

"He was injured and he was looking at me. Same as you now. And I killed him."

A rope tightened around her chest, but she knew she could allow herself to show it.

He needed her to be strong, to be stable enough to provide something he could hold onto. And so she'd be that.

Placing the cloth in the bowl, she sat down on the bed next to him.

"Tell me what you need.", She asked.

Tommy dropped his head and let his hair fall onto his face, taking a deep and shuddering breath.

Even though he clutched his knees so tightly, his knuckles turned white, it didn't prevent his hands from shaking.

(Y/N) placed her hands over his. It wasn't enough to stop the shaking, but it steadied them, especially as she laced her fingers with his.

Tommy, once more let her. And she let him drop his head against her shoulder, feeling his weight lean into her.

Despite the tickling on her bare skin, she didn't move her hands from his.

Slowly but surely, his breathing softened.

"You should try to get some sleep.", She finally said. "Your body and your mind needs rest."

He only sighed.

"I will be right here. If you need anything.", She promised, nodding towards the armchair in the corner of the room that would make her bed for tonight.

"No."

"Beg pardon?", She asked.

"No.", Tommy said once more. "Stay here."

I am here, she wanted to say to him, you need only reach out to touch me.

But the look in his eyes said he meant more than the room, almost frantic until he reined it in.

"That is…I mean…", he stammered, shaking his head.

"Alright.", She said softly. "Alright, Tommy."

Relief washed over his face as he met her eyes once more.

(Y/N) made sure that there were enough pillows and blankets and set them out on the side of the bed, next to him.

He was looking at her - to her- to lead in this, but she didn't know how. This was foriegn territory to her, but she still had to cross it.

"Would you prefer to sleep closer to the wall or the room?", She asked.

"The wall.", Tommy said.

Like her husband had done.

"Alright."

That meant he had to move first and after a moment he realised it too.

"Can I…can I take my shirt off?", He asked. "Or would you prefer I keep it on?"

"Whatever you want. As long as you're warm enough."

"With you, I will be.", He said cautiously as he pulled the undershirt over his head.

She took it from his hands and placed it on the chair in the corner of the room, before shrugging out of her robe.

Feeling more naked in his presence than she had ever done, or perhaps more conscious of her state of undress, she walked back over to the bed, her bed, the one she had brought with her back to Small Heath.

A bed she had shared with her husband and one she was about to share with another man.

Her heart thundered in her chest as she slipped in under the covers.

Immediately her muscles tensed. It had been years since she had settled down to sleep and found her bed already warm.

It was almost impossible for them to both lie next to each other without brushing their legs or arms. But even if they didn't, she could still feel the warmth that radiated from his body.

"Are you…are you warm enough?", She asked once more, needing to be sure.

He gave a single nod, his eyes staring at the ceiling.

She could see his chest rise and fall rapidly, not yet frantic, but far from calm.

She was nervous too, but with him it was a different kind of tension.

For nearly half an hour she watched him, wide eyed and heaving, making no attempt to settle, despite the exhaustion that radiated from him along with the heat.

"What do you need me to do?", She whispered. "Tell me, Tommy, I don't know."

He swallowed hard and stared ahead.

"'s alright.", He said. "Just go to sleep."

(Y/N) sighed.

For a man whose livelihood was made on lies, betrayals and the breaking of rules, Tommy Shelby was a rather poor liar.

Her hand was fluttering slightly as she reached out and stroked a strand of hair out of his face.

As she did so, she felt him lean into her touch ever so slightly.

And yet he did not ask for it.

When (Y/N) shifted, the bed creaked slightly. Followed by his eyes, she pushed herself up on her arms and shifted further up on the bed so that she was close enough for him to lean into her fully if he wanted to.

He had done so in the past, burying his head in the crook of her shoulder, or her chest, and now, as her hand continued to trace patterns on the side of his head, she felt it slowly drop down against her.

As her other hand reached up to stroke his cheek, he stopped it, lacing his fingers with hers and holding it tightly to his bare chest.

Under her hand, she could feel his thundering heart.

He seemed so still, it shocked her how frantic it beat, so she made sure that when she drew her circles, she applied soft pressure in certain intervals, creating a calmer rhythm he could focus on.

He fought sleep for the better part of an hour and (Y/N) wasn't entirely convinced that it wasn't exhaustion that claimed him in the end.

(Y/N) didn't allow herself to sleep. Whenever she felt his muscles tense of his breath hitch, she'd lean in closer and whisper gentle words or humm soft tunes in his ear, while caressing his forehead or his cheek. If that didn't work, she woke him.

It came like incoming waves on a shore, but like the tide, it went again.

The sky outside her bedroom window had almost turned pale again, when she heard the sound of little feet in the hall before the door knob was twisted.

A moment later she saw blue eyes staring down at her.

"Charlie?", She asked, lifting her head.

"Why's Dad in your bed?", He wanted to know.

Cautiously, (Y/N) detangled her fingers from his and sat up.

"He…he had a nightmare.", She lied.

It was an easy and believable one. After all, Charlie had come over for the same reason more than once.

"And you made it go away?", He whispered.

Those kind of nightmares don't go away, my darling.

But he was far too young to understand that and hopefully he never would have to learn.

"I made it stop for now."

Charlie nodded and quickly shared the cause for his arrival. He was thirsty and their water was empty so she poured him some of the water she kept in her bedroom and helped him drink it before walking him back over to Emma's room.

Her daughter was fast asleep, her lips slightly parted, with Mrs. Tatters tucked in under her arm a mere inches from her face.

The blanket had slipped slightly, revealing her bare feet.

(Y/N) made sure to tuck her in properly and kissed her temple before doing the same with Charlie.

"Sleep well.", She told him.

He nodded, snuggling Duffie close to his face, soon drifting off to sleep again, leaving (Y/N) in a house of silence and calm, at least for now.

He didn’t sleep much that first night, but he slept. In return, (Y/N) who hadn’t slept a bit, dozed off in the afternoon and woke to find the children occupied and him sitting in the armchair staring at a newspaper. She wasn’t quite sure if he was reading it or not.

During the days Tommy was still very quiet, speaking only when absolutely necessary and almost never on his own terms. And during the nights, he'd cling to her while she would watch him like watching over Emma when she had a fever, hawkishly surveying any possible change.

“Would you like to go for a walk?”, she asked on the third day after the incident.

“A walk?”, he asked.

“Come with us down to the yard? See the horses maybe?”, she suggested. He had only left the house to go to Watery Lane and then he returned after less than an hour.

“Some fresh air might do you good.”

He had always loved the open air. She had even caught him sleeping on the roof once when she had been hardly older than Emma was now.

“Fine.”, he agreed with the same enthusiasm he should have shown if she had recommended him to get three teeth pulled out.

But it was something at least.

Walking with one child on each hand wasn’t easy, but with Emma skipping and dragging her arm up and down, it was particularly irritating.

Tommy walked with his hands in his pocket and his cap pulled deep into his face.

It wasn’t the way Thomas Shelby usually walked. He almost seemed invisible, not in the way that one couldn’t see him, but the way no one would take note, no one would deem him important enough for a second glance. Too meek even to be robbed.

(Y/N) regretted the fact that she did not have a third hand to reach out to him, but the children kept her occupied until she reached the yard.

"You look like hell."

Those were the words Mr. Strong welcomed Tommy.

He only huffed as he walked past him and entered the stables long behind the children.

Charlie knew far more about horses than a five year old boy should, and Emma was eager to learn.

To her surprise, Tommy Shelby proved a diligent and patient teacher.

He spoke more now than in the last few days, explaining and educating both children in a low but determined voice.

"Can Emma come riding with us?", Charlie asked.

"May I, Mummy?", Emma asked, running towards her and almost crashing into her knees.

"Emma-"

"No!", She wailed. Alarmed, she turned back to Tommy and Charlie, pointing back af her.

"That's her no face!"

Immediately, Charlie came running, taking her hand and his and stroking it to assure her.

"It's easy.", He said. "You don't have to worry one bit, I promise."

"Unlike you, Charlie, Emma has never ridden a horse."

"She can ride with me.", Tommy offered suddenly, startling her into silence.

"See?", Emma exclaimed, "Now you can't say no."

She still would have done, if Tommy hadn't spoken.

She knew the horses were his salvation, ever since he had been a boy. So it would not only be unkind to Emma but to him as well.

It didn't make her any less nervous, but Emma twice as giddy.

First of all, she got to borrow a pair of Charlie's trousers, which she found incredibly hilarious on its own, but then she also got to sit on a horse for the very first time.

Tommy had been seated first, before Mr. Strong lifted her up.

"Good?", He asked, one arm wrapped around her waist.

"Look Mummy, look. I'm riding!", She insisted, waving at her.

"I can see.", (Y/N) said, sounding a decade older than she was as she said a silent prayer.

Charlie was sitting in his new horse all alone, but at least it was roped to Curly so that he could ride circles around him.

Tommy had decided to forgo a saddle (which didn't exactly calm her). With Emma sitting in front of him, he took the outside line.

(Y/N) was too far away from either one of them to hear what they said, but she could see Tommy give Emma instructions.

Sometimes she'd lean forward and feel the horse's neck, or its side.

Sometimes she'd correct her posture or her hands.

Once, he even handed her the reins and showed her how to hold them properly.

Always, she'd turn her head to see his reaction.

"He used to try with Ada.", Mr. Strong said. He had a sour yet honest smell to him- sweat and earth, grime and oil and the lingering scent of tobacco.

It was the smell of working men which she knew from her father and brother. Her husband had had a similar smell, only with him she could smell the forest on him too, almost like with Tommy.

"Teach her?"

He nodded, lighting his cigarette only after offering her one.

"She didn't like it very much. Wasn't his fault though- he's not a bad teacher."

He's probably trying to soothe my nerves.

"He used to want to work with horses."

"I know.", (Y/N) said.

Even if she hadn't, it would have been easy to tell just by the way he moved around the animals, almost as if he was one with them.

"Do you know your way around horses?", He wanted to know.

"Not well.", She said, "my husband knew to ride and once or twice I rode with him."

When she looked at Emma she saw no trace of the anxiety she had felt on the horse.

To her it all seemed so terribly exciting.

She held the reins with the dignity of a queen, until Charlie came into view again and she dropped them to wave at him.

Charlie, instead of waving back, lifted his cap off his head as if he was a gentleman paying a call.

Emma threw her head back in loud, giddy laughter, hitting Tommy in the chest, but instead of being annoyed, for a split second, he had a glint in his eyes that could be mistaken for a smile.

His lessons did not end once the children were out of the saddle, on the contrary.

He expected them both to pull their weight in taking care of the horses, whether it was rubbing them down, brushing them out or making sure they had enough food and water.

Charlie already knew what he had to do and was eager to offer Emma advice as well so they took care of the horses together, one after the other.

“Good girl.”, Tommy praised as (Y/N) entered the stable.

Emma was standing on a stool, gently running a brush over the side of the horse in diligent circular motions.

“You like that, don’t you?”

The horse huffed as he began to scratch it behind the ear.

Her daughter was a sight, still wearing borrowed trousers, bare footed, with a decent portion of her hair pulled from her braids. Her cheeks were still flushed and she could see the tongue locked into the corner of her lip in concentration.

“Emma did real well!”, Charlie told her.

“Did she now? Well done.”, she said, even if Emma was too preoccupied to hear.

“Here.”, Tommy said, in a lower tone than she had used, but both children paid attention immediately.

From somewhere he had pulled an apple and using an old pocket knife, began carving it up into small pieces.

“Why don’t you show Emma how to give them a treat, eh?”, he told Charlie, who grabbed a handful of apple pieces and rushed off with Emma following close by.

(Y/N) stepped closer to him, fighting the need to reach out and stroke his cheek. She could do that in her bed, or in the privacy of her home, but not out here in the open.

“She’s good.”, Tommy assessed, his eyes never leaving the children. “Gentle and not a bit afraid.”

“I’d prefer it if she was a bit afraid.”, she confessed, but he shook his head.

“Horses can tell and it makes them nervous. A gentle, calm rider is best.”

“If you say so.”, she mumbled.

“I’m not going to be back tonight.”, he said, taking a deep breath, “no need to wait up.”

“A-alright?”

She glanced around the stables.

“Are you going to take the horse out? All on your own?”

Usually, it wouldn’t frighten her but now it did - with the Italians still on their back.

“Scared I’ll ride away and never come back?”, he asked.

Perhaps it was his attempt at a joke, but she knew it had more weight.

Only she knew.

“Don’t worry. Those days are behind me.”, he assured her, as they heard Charlie’s giggle.

“Will you be alright on your own?”, she asked.

“Won’t be on my own.”

“Oh?”

He huffed and nodded.

“I’ll be meeting Jessie Eden for dinner.”, he told her. "We’re negotiating the apparently inhuman working conditions in my factories.”

(Y/N) shook her head.

Despite it all, despite everything, business still had to be done, it seemed. The horses must've reminded him of that.

There was no rest in the world of Tommy Shelby, and the fact that this had been planned left a bitter taste on her tongue.

“But,”, Tommy said, shifting on his feet as he buried his hands in his pockets, “she’ll bring up the past.”

Her hand found his arm and gave it a little squeeze.

“You’ll be alright.”, she promised him. He’d have to be, if he wanted to soldier on like this, although why he was intent on doing it when he clearly wasn’t, was beyond her.

Tommy only huffed, lost in thought once more.

“Mummy, Mummy, she licked my hand!”, Emma exclaimed, running towards her with her hand outstretched. “Her tongue was so warm and rough and strong!”

“You better wash your hands then!”, she reminded her. “Or all of you - you smell like little horses yourselves!”

Charlie neighed and threw his head back.

“Charlie’s a horsie too!”

(Y/N) went to bed alone, but when she stirred during the night and turned, she felt something next to her that was more than blankets and pillows.

In her drowsy state, between sleep and slumber, she was unable to grasp a coherent thought, so she only settled again, feeling the weight of an arm on her lower back.

When she woke for the second time, a few hours later she realised that the arm and the man it belonged to, were still there.

Somehow, without waking her, he must have come home during the night, must have undressed and slipped under the covers with her.

Perhaps she had been too tired to notice, but perhaps her body more so than her mind had gotten so used to him that presence was no longer something that ought to alarm her. That it was nothing strange, rather, something that could resemble normality.

What a funny thing it was, that humans could get used to something so quickly.

End of Part 11

Part 12

Thank you for reading! I’d be very grateful for feedback of any kind!

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hello-eeveev · 2 months

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How to Rest: Director's Commentary—Chapter 1

Hello and welcome to How to Rest Director’s Commentary! I’ve decided that I have so many thoughts that I cannot express in the end notes or replying to comments, so I must dissect my own fic here. And I wanted to take this opportunity to discuss the fic as a whole now that it's finally finished—my thought processes, stuff that got cut, and parts I really like, the way certain things relate. I love it so much and I just want to tell you all about it!!!

We’ll go chapter by chapter, so first up is chapter 1!

(spoiler warning for the entirety of How to Rest)

“Eve, what was your goal for this chapter?”

I mean, I’m half-kidding. It’s mostly sweet, but Essek and Caleb are both awkward people and dating is awkward, so I decided to lean into it and have fun :)

The sun was just the tiniest sliver on the horizon. Its light could not reach Essek from where he stood on the hill, but it set the river below and Feolinn just beyond ablaze with reds and golds.

I chose Feolinn for a few reasons: 1) that’s where the wine Essek brought to the Xhorhouse in episode 91 is from, 2) I think Feolinn is a pretty sounding word, and 3) the Menagerie Coast seems like such a romantic location (especially if you are avoiding the two other major governments on Wildemount)

Not more than ten seconds had passed when he felt a magical shift in the air around him. He discreetly checked his timepiece and smiled. Right on time. “Hallo, my friend,” came a warm, familiar voice from behind.

For the lols I decided to roll Caleb’s teleport, and he got a 32 and then a 96, so mishap for 17 damage and then on target. I don’t think this actually happened, but it’s funny to think about Caleb getting all dressed up for this date and showing up a little bit scuffed up because Teleport isn’t fully reliable.

Also, “my friend.” This is important to me and will be a recurring theme throughout these chapter commentaries.

Essek couldn’t pretend like reaching for Caleb’s hand was something other than what it was, and the vulnerability was simultaneously frightening and exhilarating.

Something something Essek doesn’t know the rules for physical contact now that they are like… together. He barely knew the rules for physical contact before! Now Caleb knows that Essek has feelings involved with any physical contact and that’s really scary, especially if you’re not used to feeling those things, much less expressing them to another person.

But Essek knows his feelings are reciprocated, so even though it’s still scary, it’s something scary they are doing together and thus it becomes rewarding and worthwhile.

Caleb appeared to be going through a similar mental battle, if the way he hesitantly raised his arms was any indication. But Caleb had always been braver than Essek, and he pulled him into a hug. It was a brief embrace. Essek barely had time to return it before Caleb pulled away, only to cup Essek’s face in one hand and press lips to his cheek. Essek froze, and he felt heat rise in his face. “Hi,” Caleb said. He dropped his hand to Essek’s shoulder, his cheeks flushed a bright red. “It is good to see you.”

They’re both so nervous and so awkward. Like blushing schoolboys. It’s adorable.

But let’s be real. Caleb is the first person Essek has felt so strongly about, and not only is this Caleb’s first relationship since he was 17 and since his life uhhhh changed drastically, it’s also Caleb’s first relationship that is intentional in its development. Blumentrio was a flash fire and this has been a slow burn, and Caleb is navigating the difference. We’ll come back to this next chapter.

“I thought it would be a good idea to start building a professional wardrobe now if I am aiming to teach next fall.”

*Essek will remember that.

I plan on going into where each part of the Chapter 6 outfit is from when I discuss that chapter, but I’ll say now that Essek got the idea from Caleb mentioning that he needed professor clothes and purchased the shirt from Feolinn pretty much the next day.

Essek’s eyes flicked between the bear claw and Caleb, unsure if Caleb meant for him to take it or eat it from his hand. Essek considered both these options and quickly realized how very poorly either could go.

Local wizard capable of manipulating gravity and time gets stunlocked by his crush handing a pastry to him. More on this at 11.

Really, what happens is that Essek is faced with the possibility of mimicking one of the popular romantic images and feeling unsure if that’s what’s expected of him, but also worrying that not participating would be seen as a rejection. You ever misread someone’s body language re: physical contact (i.e. going in for a hug when they weren’t, or the reverse) and then the situation becomes very awkward? Essek is trying to avoid that while also dealing with romantic awkwardness.

Essek was not keen on most fruit, but he did have a particular fondness for blackberries.

I had intended to return to this in a later chapter where Essek would bring up the time Verin filled his book with jam, but unfortunately, that ended up getting cut. But one of the reasons Essek likes blackberries is because they remind him of Verin and his childhood.

But as the raspberries popped in between his teeth, Essek grimaced. The sickly sweet and acidic flavor shot straight up his nose and ended in a dull ache between his eyes. It took every ounce of willpower not to give in to the childish impulse to spit it out. […] “It is like eating a headache.”

In The Shadowhand Becomes a Baker I had to describe so many foods I dislike in a positive light. This was my chance to express exactly why I dislike raspberries :)

“I am not a very picky eater; that is not a luxury I was ever afforded. When your next meal is uncertain, you will eat whatever you can get your hands on.”

Caleb’s had to eat so many unsavory things—mostly while he was on the run, but also eating food that he didn’t like as a kid because that was all his family had—that he’s rather desensitized to food that he doesn’t like. It all kind of levels out into a neutral “I’d rather not, but hey it’s food, so it’s really not that bad.”

“But in this case…” Caleb continued, as if what he had just said wasn’t deeply concerning. He popped the rest of the tart into his mouth and grinned. “I just like raspberries.”

The heathen. But that’s okay, Essek is also a heathen.

Caleb fumbled around in the dark and eventually found a rock roughly the size of his palm, which, after a gesture and an incantation, shot off into the air and tumbled down the hill.

To change the transmuter’s stone’s buff, you need to cast a 1st level transmutation spell, so I scoured Caleb’s spell list for one that seemed the most appropriate/least inappropriate for the situation: Catapult. (His only other options for 1st levels were feather fall or expeditious retreat.)

“Ah, there we go,” he said, turning back to Essek with a smile. “I can see you much better now.” Essek blinked, not understanding what a flying rock had to do with seeing better. “Oh! Your transmuter’s stone,” he said as it clicked. “It can grant you darkvision, can it not? That will be useful for seeing the stars.” Caleb nodded. “That too.”

He’s fliiiirrrrtinnnng ehehehehe

I feel like panicked!Essek defaults to very logical thought processes (and I have written it as such). So he’s thinking about what the practical, material benefit is to Caleb using a first-level transmutation spell to switch his transmuter’s stone to darkvision, and the answer is fairly straightforward: they are stargazing, which one can do more effectively if they can see more stars more clearly.

And this is true, but it’s only part of Caleb’s purpose here. The stars are great to look upon with fondness and admiration. But Essek is too. And in my interpretation of them, Caleb is more ready/willing/able to flirt (which isn’t saying much bc hi look at them) and definitely more likely to keep his wits about him in one-on-one, interpersonal situations (hello 16 charisma), which he can utilize to flatter Essek.

(This isn’t to say that Essek is inept when it comes to navigating social situations, he’s just the reverse of Caleb: he’s better at a distance when there are lots of eyes on him, like an actor on a stage. They’ve got two different flavors of social anxiety.)

The end result was Essek rudely baring his teeth at Caleb and brushing his lip against Caleb’s thumb, despite all his best efforts. Essek pulled away quickly and covered his mouth while he chewed. Caleb just smiled at him. “Your thoughts?” he asked.

This leads us into the first instance of cut content! I like this deleted scene! I think it’s really funny! But it was cut because 1) it doesn’t match the vibes of the rest of the chapter, 2) the flirtation is far too forward and doesn’t match the feeling I wanted there to be between Essek and Caleb at this point, and the reason I haven’t shared it separately 3) I was worried people would find a more sexually suggestive undertone than I intended, would assume I had intended it, and comment/banter about it accordingly. Which is a hard boundary for me. Please don’t do that. At least not in my comments/notes. Thanks :)

With that disclaimer out of the way, I really do hope you enjoy:

Cut content “fangs”:

“I forgot you had fangs.” “Yes?” Essek said. “So do you?” “Not really. My eye teeth are so short compared to yours.” “And mine are short compared to a bugbear’s, but it is still the same kind of tooth and it serves roughly the same function.” “True enough,” Caleb conceded. “But in my experience, at least with how the word is used colloquially, humans do not have fangs. Tieflings and goblins have fangs, orcs and half-orcs have tusks, and humans just have slightly pointed teeth.” “Interesting. Is it just humans that have such a low opinion of their teeth? Or does everyone agree that human fangs are too minuscule to be worthy of the moniker?” “I don’t know. I don’t often find myself asking others’ opinions on my teeth.” “You said that you consider tieflings to have fangs, yes? Let’s ask Jester.” Caleb smirked at him. Essek arched an eyebrow back at him and cast Sending without breaking eye contact. “Jester, would you consider Caleb to have fangs?” “Um… no? Not really. Human teeth are too short and blunt. Why do you ask?” She gasped, and dread pooled in Essek’s stomach. “Wait, are you interested in Caleb’s fangs? Have you been—” Essek buried his face in his hands, blushing so furiously that he was sure even Caleb would be able to see it in the dark. “Do I want to know?” Caleb chuckled. Essek shook his head. “Only that there is at least one opinion in your favor.” [assume some time passes, more conversation is had, etc.] “Hey, Essek! You should know that Mama said humans are still good at kissing even though their teeth aren’t sharp! Okayiloveyouhavefunonyourdate!” The end was less of a sentence and more of a garbled string of noises that Essek could understand only because he had received so many Sendings just like that. “Thank you, Jester,” he responded. “But it was an intellectual discussion, nothing more. Sorry to disappoint.” “Well…” Caleb said to the night sky. Essek rolled his eyes and carried on with his response to Jester. “You were right about Menagerie Coast bear claws. They’re very good.” Caleb turned to face Essek with a rakish grin. Essek simply raised his eyebrows, refusing to give Caleb the satisfaction of flustering him. “Was I wrong?” “Not exactly. I do find your fangs very charming, though, and I don’t think that can be classified as purely intellectual.”

It just makes me smile every time. We get some worldbuilding/cultural discussions, some banter, a Jester Sending, and flirting. Very fun little scene to write.

This kind of closeness—physical and emotional—was new. He had never known people so… forthright in their affections until the Mighty Nein, much less been trusted with the fragile parts of someone else. It was overwhelming to say the least. And yet, it filled a space in his soul that he hadn’t known was empty. There was warm kindness where before he had only known cool niceties, and the companionship Caleb offered warmed him in a way that none else had. It was unsettling at times, this thing between them—untrodden and raw and vulnerable—but it felt good.

We’ve talked about Essek’s struggles with his own vulnerability, but having someone else be vulnerable with him is also a lot. It’s a huge responsibility, and one he’s never had before. And he cares and he doesn’t want to mess it up again. But the Mighty Nein and Caleb have been so good to him that he’s actually not too scared that he will. Which is also new! Ahhh!

Good to have someone see the foolish and terrible things his hands had done and still consider them worthy of being held.

I just really like this. It reminds me of the scene in Fullmetal Alchemist where Ed tells Winry that her hands weren’t made for killing.

Obviously, the context and conclusion here are very different (Essek/Caleb is more Hawkeye/Mustang-coded, let’s be real), but it leads into one of the main thematic elements of shadowgast: that people who have done terrible things in their pasts can do better and they can find people who help them grow and learn. They don’t have to continue the violence and pain; they can be kind and gentle.

I mean, really it’s just the “you were not born with venom in your veins” speech again. It just set out the path for how their relationship would develop. (It was also my oh moment for realizing the potential of shadowgast and that it could be a ship I vibe with.)

Episode 97, my beloved, my guiding light.

Essek didn’t put faith in the gods, and he wasn’t sure if he believed in fate, but whatever it was that bound lives together, he was grateful his was entwined with Caleb’s. Glad that, in spite of everything that might have pushed them apart, they were here, in this moment, this tiniest of stitches in the fabric of space and time, and chose to be together.

I had heard Matt Mercer in several roles before ever getting into Critical Role, but the role that really made me a fan of him was Chrom from Fire Emblem: Awakening. Chrom is my actual real life husband and I love him more than anything. In Awakening, Chrom says a line to the player character that I’ve always loved: “If we are all bound by these invisible ties, I thank the gods it’s with you.”

This section is both an homage to and a slight twist on that line. Essek is not a gods-person and I imagine that dunamancy somewhat trivializes the concept of fate while also… idk making it tangible? So there’s probably a weird relationship to that there.

Regardless, there were a million different ways that Essek and Caleb could not have wound up as close as they are, and even if fate had some involvement, their choices are ultimately what led them here. And isn’t that kind of beautiful?

“Well,” Essek said as he tucked the blanket into the basket, then turned towards Caleb. “Yes,” Caleb said with a nod, mouth pressed into a tight line. “I suppose this is goodbye.” Essek smiled and hoped it didn’t look as awkward as it felt. “I suppose it is.” Neither of them moved.

Ohhh the eternal struggle of recognizing that the social event has ended but there’s still something you want to say or do, but you don’t know how so you just kinda stand there. In this case, they both would like to kiss again, but they're not sure how to broach that again since there’s no longer that huge tension of having never kissed. And then there’s the fact that goodbyes are like, a thing, which makes it more intimidating.

Which reminds me of this cut exchange:

“There don’t have to be rules.” “But there are still rules.” “There can be, if they are useful to you. If they are not”—he shrugged—“why bother?” Essek furrowed his brow. “Why does anyone bother with them then?” “I’m not really sure myself,” Caleb laughed. “But from my observation, it is social shorthand—a way of conveying intent and expectation indirectly.” “Ah, so it is just more politicking. Wonderful.”

This one goes out to all my fellow arospecs and/or neurodivergents out there! What’s a societal expectation? Why is it so important to follow? Why is this strange, uncomfortable ritual the price I must pay for companionship???

I am very in love with the wizards doing their own thing at their own time. It’s romantic and it’s not.

“You have a crumb of something, ah—here.” Caleb took Essek’s chin in one hand and brushed something from the corner of his mouth with his thumb. “There we are.”

Does Essek actually have a crumb on his mouth or is this a ploy to touch Essek’s face? If you’ve read Miss You Dearly, you may know that Caleb is not immune to telling a little white lie for love. But in this case it’s up to you. There isn’t a right answer because I think it’s all cute :)

#this is an open invitation to scream at/with me about how to rest #or any of my fics tbh #if there is anything you want me to comment on in particular just ask. i gotchu fam #long post #sorry not sorry for the length i couldn't think of a good place to split it #eve talks #eve’s writing #how to rest #how to rest director's commentary #chattering at birds #shadowgast #caleb widogast #essek thelyss

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starilicious · 3 months

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mere haath mein (echo x gn!reader)

》 summary: reader and echo's love story from strangers to friends to lovers throughout the clone wars (a 4+1 type of story)

》 series masterlist: (please read the masterlist before continuing on!)

click here to read on AO3

》 part 4.5.1 word count: ~0.65k

》 part 4.5.1 warnings: none

》 part 4.5.1 spoilers: tcw citadel episode

》 a/n: i'm sorry, it's gonna be a rough one loves :(( also 4.5.1 and 4.5.2 are shorter chapters for more dramatic effect hehe

४.५.१ (4.5.1)

You’re waiting at the ship docking bay when they come back from the Citadel. You have been glued to the reports screen, constantly refreshing every five minutes to see the latest news, but there’s been absolutely nothing. Even with your relatively high rank in the GAR, some reports are just far beyond your reach thanks to the deep classifications.

The shuttle docks and you watch as clones pour out, many wounded. They rush past you, and you move out of their way quickly as the injured men are guided to the medical wing as fast as possible. You try looking at each of their armor, each one of their faces, but you can’t find Fives or Echo. You’re not sure if that’s a positive or not.

And then finally, finally, you see your friend step out along with Rex, Anakin, Ahsoka, and Obi-Wan. Where’s Echo? Everyone knows Echo and Fives are inseparable and probably one of the highest ranking clones on the mission. Why isn’t he with the others? Did he board a different shuttle?

The group is talking amongst themselves and you resist the urge to run up to them, instead digging your heels into the ground and focus on finding Echo, mind bursting with questions. Your eyes scour the troopers pouring out of the shuttles, but you can’t find him anywhere. Your stomach drops to your feet and heavy dread begins to take its place as you frantically search for him.

Fives walks over to you then, seemingly finished with tying up some loose ends of the mission. You turn around and watch him approach, every step of his twisting a knife further into your heart. You hold your breath.

He takes off his helmet and his face. Your mouth drops open in shock at the swirling despair in his eyes. The lines on Fives’ face suddenly seem so deep, so tired. His posture slackens as you just stand there, feet frozen and unable to comprehend what you already know. Fives doesn’t need to say a word.

He drops his helmet, the hollow thud reverberating through your ears, finally prompting you to move. You hold Fives in your arms as he breaks down into your shoulder, whispering I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.

I’m sorry your love is lost.

You clutch the plastoid in your hands, nails digging crescent moons into your skin as you breathe in the carbon-scoring fumes from his armor, tears slipping down your own cheeks because he’s gone.

Echo is gone.

You don’t know how long the both of you stand there, holding on like you’re each other’s last life line. Fives sniffles and pulls away, gazing at you sorrowfully. He answers your burning questions, grief-stricken.

“There… There was this clanker on a turret. Echo, that idiot, grabs a shield from the ground and starts shooting to protect the shuttle. But that kriffin’ clanker… it shot the shuttle and it–it exploded,” Fives whispers the last part and your eyes widen to be as round as moons. An audible gasp slips past your lips as you imagine the horrific scene flash before your eyes.

“I tried to warn him but it was too late. I couldn’t help him. I–I couldn’t save him,” Fives swallows the lump in his throat regretfully. “The last thing I saw was his helmet, smoking.”

“No,” you breathe and the realization hits you in full force.

You could have saved him.

If you had just fixed that stupid bug in your code, if you had just dedicated more time to advancing the technology in the device you gave them, if you had just made it better, you could have saved him.

Fives says nothing.

Your hands curl up in fists as they come up to rest on his plastoid chestplate, leaning into Fives as he holds onto you.

No.

You never got to tell him you love him.

---

please consider reblogging! it really helps me and is super encouraging ^_^

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snowcapmt · 1 year

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I’m gonna be doing some Ask doodles for the Ivory Mirage AU! This is mainly to get myself motivated again because I have like,, no energy. So ask away! Please note that certain questions might not be answered for a while. My sister just finished the investigation part of Chapter 4 in sdr2, and she already figured out the killer was Gundam by herself, but beyond that, she knows nothing! So any questions relating to spoilers after that point will have to be put on standby— but they’ll definitely be answered later! Story from that point on just so happen to be especially relevant to the AU, so if you’re willing to wait, some juicy content is definitely coming your way!

For now, sit tight, and enjoy some Hinanami! Both Hinanami and Komahina are canon to the Ivory Mirage AU, just at different points in time, so this is still relevant.

#hinanami #sdr2 hinata #sdr2 chiaki #dr3 despair arc #dr3 Chiaki #danganronpa au

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zingeralmighty · 6 months

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Oh, you finished Chapter 4 of Rain Code already😬

So, uh, how are you feeling after the chapter?

In all seriousness yeah, especially since I’m back in school I’ve gotten too impatient to wait to finish writing before progressing. I just make notes of things I wouldn’t know at a certain point and also have a good record of my live reactions from a channel I update when I play LOL. I like to keep the spoiler barrier up though just in case people still playing the game come across it

Ch. 4 spoilers under the cut. PS I saw your massive comment on my most recent piece, I’m swamped with school atm but I so so appreciate how much you get into my fics, even when I just see you around it’s nice, I think you’ll like what I have in store for the future (be excited and scared)

Man when I tell you I fucking BAWLED. I was inconsolable for a good hour. And it’s so funny because in hindsight there were so many clues leading back to it being Yakou, but I literally did just block the possibility out of my brain because I couldn’t even begin to conceptualize it, especially with how distraught I was that he was already dying. The only thing that got me to finally consider it was when the possibility of Huesca leading the detectives in there to kill them came up, WHICH, MIGHT I ADD, he HAD to at least have had a hunch that would have happened because he banked on them getting Ama-Pal to break in which was literally the only way he could have gotten in there. But that’s a tangent for another day, I have a massive Yakou character analysis/rant in the works because I love him so fucking much, he is the dad of all time.

Besides the heartbreak it was a fucking fantastic chapter though, I wish we could have played a bigger role in the Yomi takedown but seeing him get put in his place was beyond fucking satisfying. ALSO I CALLED MARTINA NOT BEING DEAD because I figured he’d flaunt it so hard if he had physical evidence of her execution, so when she showed back up I was GIDDY. She deserves better

#ask #master detective archives: rain code #mda:rc #rain code #raincodeposting #yakou furio #chapter 4 gave me depression fr

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cyaniiiide · 1 year

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[Genshin] Thoughts on "Akasha Pulses, the Kalpa Flame Rises"

I stayed up til 2 am to finish this quest and I loved it! ❤

Staying up til 2 am on version release dates is just a tradition at this point... I will not be spoilered. This is a difficult endeavor, seeing as how spoilers even come out before the version's story is officially released, but I try. ;o;

(At least I'm no longer on east coast time!! Staying up til 4 am was fun in college, it is not fun now. T___T)

// 3.2 ARCHON QUEST SPOILERS BEYOND THIS POINT YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED //

One of the first things that happens in this quest is Alhaitham saying he's not like the other girls. In fact, he's in the top 1% of girls. This man has such a superiority complex (though if I'm being honest, it's not completely unfounded...)

Initially, I didn't really like his character because of this (among other things), but it's grown on me after seeing his interactions with Kaveh. He's just so... needlessly antagonistic. xD

Throughout the archon quest, Alhaitham has played the role of the cold, logical brain of the team. He's almost like a robot in that sense, so seeing him take what a robot would deem "unnecessary actions" to torment poor Kaveh is hilarious. (It seems like Kaveh might do his fair share of the tormenting as well though LMAO)

Alhaitham: happiness is an emotion alien to the sages smh

Alhaitham: y'know who else won't experience happiness today

Alhaitham: my roommate bc I took both keys while leaving the house today heheheh

I can't wait to see more of their interactions in the future.

(Also, Kaveh's hair?? Hello???

I wonder if the "IXIX" pins mean anything... nine-nine?)

Another character that grew on me a bit this archon quest is Dehya!! Miss Anime-Hair-Vents-Girl. She got to shine the most the previous chapter, but she has her moments here too. Protecting the traveler as their bodyguard, wanting a "smile" as payment... big sister vibes.

She's a big ol' tsundere in some regards though. She doesn't have any big ambitions, and she admits herself to only wanting to enjoy the days with good food and drink, and only working when she has to.

And yet, despite this... she's trekked halfway across Sumeru and back with the gang, even though she could just leave?? at any point she wanted to. Dehya's very individualistic, and doesn't compromise on her own ideals or interests. But in the end, she'll always have your back, both physically and emotionally.

I already had a high opinion of Tighnari before this archon quest so not much changed here. He's sensible and rational without being cold. It was nice seeing how protective he was towards Haypasia as his patient.

He's the perfect person to watch over the sages who went to the Avidya Forest at the end, too. Even if they deserve it, I can't see Tighnari being needlessly cruel to any of them. He'll definitely keep them under a watchful eye, though...

And of course, I can't talk about Tighnari without talking about Cyno! I'm not a Cynonari shipper myself, but there was sooo much food this chapter -- from Cyno asking who was behind Tighnari's injury, to Tighnari trusting Dehya and the Traveler as soon as they brought up Cyno's name, to Tighnari's affirmation that he and Cyno have been working together behind the scenes from the very beginning.

I wasn't really a fan of certain parts of Cyno's story quest, but for better or worse, the writers are sticking to their guns in portraying Cyno's personal brand of justice. Everything played out really nicely in his scenes. My personal favorite is when he ordered Azar to "plead guilty in front of the archon herself."

Another thing I wanted to mention was how well done the Scaramouche scene at Pardis Dhyai was. I legitimately got spooked when I saw him pop up. He too says he's not like the other girls and then a bunch of other stuff about rejecting his past.

The traveler notes that "he's become milder but somehow even more deranged" lollllll

One thing I didn't expect from him was to actually be concerned about Haypasia and to treat her as his "first follower." I guess all gods need followers though, so it wasn't real concern so much as it was just his own superiority complex.

Also, I did not expect him to crash head first into a concrete floor at the end of the archon quest LMAO

One of the first things I saw today though was (3.3 leaks) his signature dish, where he orders the traveler to wash the dishes. 😭 Honestly, I have to admire his sheer tenacity... he becomes god, gets his ass beat, suffers what I assume has to be terminal brain damage, and STILL has apparently done zero self-reflection LOL. Whatever happens in the 3.3 interlude quest, he's evidently still the vertically-challenged gremlin we know (and maybe love I haven't decided yet)

Nilou was an unexpected appearance in this quest. I really enjoyed all the different perspectives this quest had to offer, including the segment where we played as Nilou. It's a good way of showcasing things that the traveler wouldn't personally be there to experience.

Speaking of Nilou... I absolutely love her. She's a little clumsy and forgetful, but her story quest really showed that she's willing and able to fight for what she loves. She's not a revolutionary (this is the exception, as the opportunity basically landed in her lap!), but in her own way, she's been fighting for change all this time.

Nilou's story quest also touched me for a different reason, too... Recently, a server for a game I really like and was a member of the community for shut down. I wish we could have come together to extend its lifespan the way Nilou and the people at the bazaar did for their dance troupe, even though it would have been impossible in our case.

That's a rabbit hole I'll go down some other time, though!

(The OST when Nilou was dancing was also fantastic. And when the Performance Prohibition Act text was overlaid with the fake order to arrest Kusanali? Chills. ❤❤)

...Speaking of that fake order, I couldn't let this go by without mentioning Isak, that kid who literally dressed as Kusanali to lead the guards away. 😭 Of all the things I expected in this chapter, this was not one of them.

I also chose to hide in the field instead of behind the house when it came to the first decision b/c I thought he might be able to camouflage himself among the vegetables and I WAS RIGHT LMAO (unless hiding behind the house led to the same result. then idk lol)

Last but not least, I need to talk with everyone about Nahida. She's my pfp (at the time of writing this, anyway) and just. Look at her. LOOK AT HER. I loved her ever since her design was first leaked (yes I'm gatekeeping don't @ me /s) and I'm so glad her story has played out so beautifully.

One thing I really liked is that Nahida was never infantilized this chapter -- even though literally all of us were willing to go to war for her and to coddle the radish after her teaser, Nahida really held her own. The first scene we get of her in this quest is of her doing self-reflection. She wallows in doubt for a bit, then comes to the realization of what her true emotions are. Not what she "should" be feeling or thinking as an archon, but what she is feeling.

(I'm also a bit confused here, after re-reading her wiki entry -- could Nahida have escaped the Sanctuary beforehand? The archon quest implies she couldn't, as it gives an explanation as to how the Sanctuary could contain a god. Nahida's own voicelines also talk about being in a birdcage. Yet, the wiki says that she (was essentially gaslit, first of all) took a step back on her own and let the sages run things.)

Anyways, the self-reflection was a scene that I hadn't realized I needed -- Nahida getting past her own mental block, and taking strides forward to act as Sumeru's archon. Not trying to gather information or help out behind the scenes -- nope, the radish is out for blood this time.

Fun fact: I tried to challenge Scaramouche's domain with just the Nahida and Lumine in my party! (I also did the same earlier, playing through most of the archon quest with Cyno/Lumine/Nilou/Nahida. I would've used Tighnari in place of Nahida if I had him...)

Not-so-fun fact: I failed miserably and got Nahida killed in the very first fight (I forgot how hard electro skirmishers can hit...) and had to bring Zhongli along too for his shield.

Nahida really shined during the fight with Scaramouche -- forcing him to go through 168 samsara cycles; poetic justice at its finest. It's also quite fitting that Nahida drew upon the people's wisdom using the Akasha to help the traveler. Honestly, I'm not too sure how that worked (would regular people even know how to beat a giant mecha god robot...?) but Nahida's always been an archon for the people, and it's nice to see that theme being carried through. It's even in her kit! The most powerful part of her kit (Tri-Karma Purification) doesn't activate unless a reaction with dendro is triggered.

My heart definitely sunk though when I first saw Scaramouche try to take Nahida's Gnosis (the way he picked her up too???? 😭). Another thing this quest did well was hide information from the player. Initially, I thought the whole strategy session at the beginning of the quest was kind of odd, given that it we just skipped through the actual meeting. Everything was revealed in due time though. ❤

(And this way, Paimon got to be useful too! Instead of repeating information that we just heard, she got to be the "person who wasn't listening during the meeting" to catch the players up to speed, haha.)

The third-to-last segment with Greater Lord Rukkhadevata was also incredibly beautiful. Nahida's self-realization that she is the Dendro Archon, and essentially has been all along was affirmed.

The second-to-last segment was less beautiful. After all our hard work! Dottore shows up to snatch the two Gnoses. I don't feel like Nahida got a good deal with Raiden's Gnosis, to be honest... I guess it had less value to her as a Gnosis from a foreign land, though.

As for her own Gnosis... I really want to know what information she got in exchange for it!!! D:

I guess Nahida did the best she could though. She was at a huge disadvantage in the situation.

And the last, but certainly not least segment of our heroes celebrating? *chef kiss*

An epilogue like this was exactly what we needed to tie up the archon quest. It would have been too weird just asking some questions to Nahida at the end of everything, and not seeing everyone again and see how things were going.

The huge upheaval at the Akademiya, the fates of the sages, Dunyarzard!!!, were all discussed. The Sumeru Archon quest had also addressed the huge inequality between the citizens of the desert and the rainforest, and I'm so happy to see Cyno spearheading the efforts to revitalize Aaru Village. Even Setaria showed up!

One thing I will definitely take away from Sumeru is the persistent theme of how everyone coming together can solve seemingly insurmountable problems. It's a rather obvious thing to take away (the power of teamwork, yay!) but it was really hammered in throughout the archon quest. Every part of Alhaitham's plan relied on its individual members, and the use of the Akasha to save Sumeru not only once, but twice was a result of using the knowledge gathered from its citizens' combined experiences. Sumeru is the land of wisdom, and a part of wisdom is cooperation and knowing when and how to rely on others.

There's plenty of room to expand Sumeru's story from here, and I'm excited to see where the story takes us next.

(And of course, the lore bombs at the end... I can't wait to find out the answers to those questions!!)

P.S. As of right now this is unedited and might remain unedited bc it's 12:30 am, I wrote this all in one shot, and I wanna chill now lmao

I should have probably also added pictures to break up the wall of text so that I actually might want to reread this at some point like which was the main point of writing this 😭

#genshin impact #genshin #genshinstory #genshin 3.2 #genshin impact story #genshin story #archon quest #archonquest #nahida #nilou #cyno #tighnari #alhaitham #kaveh #scaramouche #dehya

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construingseacats · 7 months

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Umireread: Legend of the Golden Witch - Chapter 3: Guesthouse

Sat, Oct 4 1986 - 12:00 Noon

The following contains spoilers for the entirety of Umineko. Please do not read if you are yet to finish it.

Interesting note in the tips about how there’s canonically multiple “on” servants on Rokkenjima, and that Kanon and Shannon just happen to be the two that we see. I wonder what Yasu’s other personalities are like… and how many costumes she has to be able to fool the rest of the family.

Not entirely related to Umineko, but I do like how George is still considered “one of the kids” at age 23. Speaking as a 27 year old, entirely accurate, he’s still a baby, but it’s so common to see pieces of media treat people in their early 20s as bonafide adults - so this is really refreshing to read.

BATTLER DON’T SEXUALISE THE FUCKING CHILD. This is undoubtedly the low point of Umineko jesus christ

There’s a point made here about Maria always keeping her promises - that’s joining the “George never lies” in the folder of things to keep an eye out for going forward.

George??? You can’t just laugh and say “the cousins didn’t feel complete” without Battler in response to him talking about groping a 9 year old??????? Like, maybe there’s a point here about how Yasu would have been a similar age to Maria the last time she met Battler and crushed on him, but really this is just indefensible, creepy writing that the story is much worse for.

Moving swiftly on - it’s interesting how Kanon is introduced as being around 2 years younger than the group, but Shannon is described as being the same age. I suppose it’s an intentional ploy to make sure they’re not twins (which would raise more suspicion about them being the same person, and could risk skirting close to Knox’s 10th), but it’s still something to take note of. I wonder what the ages of the other “on” servants are given as?

Yasu once again stuttering as her mind fills with thoughts of “hot boy”.

I hate the justification here. Like, I’m glad that Ryukishi is at least trying to paint Battler as more than a mindless perv by saying he does it as an act to lighten the mood, but like, you’re still writing him as a perv. You can just have him be charming without trying to randomly sexually harass every girl he meets. But then I guess he wouldn’t be taking after Kinzo, eh?

So. This scene.

I think of all analytical re-reads of Umineko, this is probably the most notorious scene to pick apart, since it’s simultaneously another case of Battler being a creep at the start of the story, but arguably one of the most important moments where Yasu’s entire plan was inches away from falling apart.

On the one hand, I am a sucker for the stuff going on behind the scenes here - Yasu wants to be caught. She wants Battler to discover that Shannon is a fake identity, but Battler being unable to “commit to the bit” (if you will) prevents him from doing so, and there is no universe where he is able to prevent the massacre before it even begins. It’s dramatic irony at its finest.

But… What message does that really give? The moral is “if Battler was more of a perv then everything would have been okay”, which is, uh, not good? The most charitable reading here is one of Yasu writing this scene intentionally as “I wish Battler was more forward/aggressive but he’s a real gentleman”, which I’m still not super on board with. That potentially has some insight into Yasu’s psyche and messed up relationship with sexual urges, especially if you see it through the lens of a metaphor for Yasu being unable to engage with other people in that way, but that still leaves us with the big issue here.

The biggest problem is this is another scene of Battler being a creep far before the audience is hooked. So far, we’ve been introduced to almost 20 characters, none of them have really done anything yet, the plot hasn’t progressed beyond “they’re here for a family meeting”, and our protagonist is out here sexually harassing women once again. I legitimately do not blame anyone who gets to this point and then immediately puts Umineko down, never to pick it up again. Maybe this would have been a good scene to put at the start of Episode 2 for the earlier reasons, but as is, it just does far more harm than good to the story as a whole. Nevertheless, we powered through it the first time, so we’ll keep pressing through here as well.

Nice pause before furniture here. I can’t help but feel that she scrambled for that excuse, and that the real reason she’s hesitant to stop people from Battler-ing her is, once again, because she’s desperate for her deception to be uncovered.

It’s extremely funny to see this just plainly stated and brushed away. I sure hope this isn’t foreshadowing to Kanon and Shannon being the illegitimate heir of the Ushiromiya family or something.

Alright, after Battler being the absolute worst against Maria and Shannon, I think we’re through the low point. Don’t get me wrong, we’re about to barrel into the inheritance discussion, which is possibly one of the driest parts of the whole story, but I’m fairly sure all the perv stuff is out the way and we can stop being disgusted at the guy we’re supposed to root for.

There’s a throwaway comment here from Maria about seeing herself as unsociable and it just kills me. My heart breaks for her. Although we haven’t got to the point of her going full creepy kid, so who knows, maybe I’ll grow to hate her again.

Interesting first mention of the war here. It’s one of those details that seems superfluous in the moment, and you’re probably skipping over it automatically, but the history here is fairly significant.

The big door sound effect in Umineko is definitely one of the more iconic ones in it. I can’t help but think that it sounds a lot like a video tape being played (heck, maybe it is, sound design is all about lying to your ears). I know it’s likely unintentional, but it feels thematic with the whole elements of having a fantasy story play out before your eyes.

bore-ral intensifies

And here’s our Golden Witch.

Umineko is a masterclass in misdirection with a lot of its writing. There’s a common theme where it will walk you through a truth, but then go “but no, you’re smarter than that, that can’t be right” and make you abandon the reality that it just waved in your face. In this case, it’s the discussion about the Witch in the Forest and Folklore - you’re told there’s a Witch out there, but come on, you and I both know that these sorts of stories are just made up to stop kids from running into dangerous places, so that’s clearly false. Anyway, while your ego is being massaged, there actually is a Witch in the Forest that the kids needed to stay away from, get rug pulled nerd

Would the 2 year time period of the portrait being installed roughly line up with Kinzo’s death? I’m not sure if it’s just an element of the reworked graphics, but you can see a portrait in Kinzo’s study as early as the Prologue, so I’m wondering if they just took the one that he had in there and placed it out here.

There’s a line here about the whole thing being creepy as hell - I can’t help but wonder whether she’s actually talking about the portrait, or the whole covering for Kinzo act.

No wonder you feel the same misfortune, given she’s the one who blew up the shrine to test that the bombs still worked.

Aha, here’s the dismissal of the sexism in the Ushiromiya family that I was looking for. I’m happy to rescind some of my comments about the presence of it in Chapter 1, although the story did leave that hanging in the air a little long for my liking. Especially considering Battler needed way more redeeming features to make up for his actions in these first few chapters.

Once again, very bold of the story to be going into excruciating detail about the Ushiromiya family before any of them have been endeared to us. Getting all of the details out of the way now definitely makes for a better story later on, but man, I just wish that anything of import had actually happened yet.

A lot of the discussion on chauvinism and sexism takes a very sorrowful tone when viewed through the lens of Yasu’s writing. If women are only good as “borrowed wombs” and she’s reduced to the level of furniture after the accident…

I also feel pretty sorry for Natsuhi here as a fish out of water. I honestly can’t wait for Episode 5 to see her front and centre again.

And then they all starved. The end.

God this scene is so good. Jessica is taking any chance she can to rebel against having to pretend Kinzo is still alive. Seeing her go “I feel better without him” and having Natsuhi slam her down for knowing the real connotation of that is *chef’s kiss*

A sealed room… I’m sure we won’t be seeing many of them in the future.

It’s interesting how our first proper fantasy scene isn’t even related to the murders or the actions of Yasu, but of Krauss pretending Kinzo is still alive.

Kinzo would know all about having your own body used as firewood.

Honestly, it’s kind of incredible how this scene immediately establishes the servants as associates for the fantasy scenes. As soon as we get the red truth that Kinzo died before the game begun in the Episode 4 Tea Party, anyone revisiting this scene really has the entire game blown open for them.

Sure is, buddy.

Sure are, buddy.

The mental image of Genji just sitting alone in the study and kicking back as he drinks to himself is so funny to me. I can’t help but wonder what he was feeling in these moments of protecting the masquerade.

Yasu giving the gold medal to Yasu here. Everyone else is unworthy.

…Well, that’s what the story is about, at the end of the day. Dealing with the true leader of the Ushiromiya family having multiple people in the same body.

We’re still in the opening stretch and we’re already repeating ourselves, woof. I’m glad we’re getting more Kinzo time since he’s the one actively reminding us of the actual plot, but I don’t think we covered any particular ground here that we didn’t already show off in the Prologue. I wonder if anyone has done a count of all the times we get a proper “BEATORICHEEEE” in the story.

I’m really glad Jessica is having so much fun with the Kinzo lies. She clearly doesn’t want to keep up the facade, but has to, so she’s making her own entertainment out of it to cope with the situation. As someone constantly inventing personal win conditions and games to play to stave off the suffocating mundanity of a normal life, I relate to that hard.

End of Chapter.

Bonus round!

Ah, I'd entirely forgotten about the Fukuin house stuff - yeah, you're right. I'm actually mildly disappointed by that, since it kind of nullifies the point on Shannon and Kanon's names being a reflection of their Ushiromiya heritage (since they're just names given out to all the orphans), and also the idea of having more personalities than just these 2 was kind of fun. I'd definitely be interested in seeing someone take a stab at a forgery with a third Yasu personality in the mix.

Seeing George projected onto Battler is definitely an interesting take, although I'm still a little concerned that this is falling more into "Ryukishi is horny" territory than a fully fleshed narrative idea. As much as I'd love to give him the benefit of the doubt, it's a bit too suspect given some of the treatment Rika and Satoko received in Higurashi. I suppose the real thing to see is whether this crops up again post-message bottles, or whether we can truly confine this to Yasu's writing.

#umireread #umineko #umineko spoilers

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beautifulsnake2162020 · 1 year

Text

Beautiful Anomaly (Part 8): Morpheus x FReader (Final Chapter for the story)

Gif from tumblr user tennant

Morpheus x FemReader (present day, its a little hard to explain)

A couple of disclaimers:

1.) This is all based on the Netflix show and I have 0 background on the graphic novel it is based on (so don't expect it to be faithful);

2.) This is a fan work, the only benefit I derive from this is sharing it with the community.

AN: I would like to say thank you to everyone who has liked, read, and commented on this fic. This is the shortest chapter among the series but I hope you'll nevertheless enjoy it. Part 9 will be the steamy nsfw scenes that are only implied here (this is Safe For Work since I don't want to sacrifice the story to those who wouldn't be comfortable with NSFW scenes).

Btw if you're planning on reading the crossover spin-off fic "Higher Intervention" which is mainly in the House of the Dragons universe with Sandman elements. There is a spoiler/hint at the end of who FemReader is. If you don't want to know who it is, don't read beyond the line "It's the rise of a new era."

For those of you who are new. I highly recommend reading the previous parts first because I don’t know if you will understand everything without first reading those.

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4/ Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7

Tagging for the last time (If you want to still be tagged for the NSFW chapter please comment below): @winxschester @true-queen-of-mischief @laydreams @memento-mora @daydreamin1220 @kuchokitty @fate-huntress @igotanidea @mikariell95 @seninjakitey

"This is almost unexpected." Morpheus says as he helps you set up your dinner after arriving earlier than expected.

"Think of it as an ice breaker of some kind." You finally lay down the last of the food that you've made earlier. It was on the simple but hearty side. Pomodoro pasta with fresh tomato sauce and basil topped with parmesan cheese; Homemade Garlic bread; Deep fried Calamari sprinkled with some herbs that you have; and for the beverages you place the large carafe of Lipton's lemon flavored iced tea, and another carafe of water.

"We've known each other for awhile."

"You say that and yet it seemed that there are still some parts of you that I have yet to discover. Besides almost all dates start with a meal of some kind." He smiles at that as the two of you seat across each other.

"This is mainly a meal for yourself."

"And I took the effort to not be lazy and cook enough for both of us. You can't refuse and place my efforts to waste." He gives you a smirk with a raised eyebrow.

"You took the effort to make sure I actually eat."

"That's generally the idea, yes. Go on." Shaking his head in amusement he places some of the calamari on his plate as you mix the pasta and the sauce, before taking some and placing it on your plate.

"I know compared to the food in the dreaming, this pales in comparison. But I do hope my efforts satisfy you." He takes some large bites of the calamari, finishing his share in brief time.

"You shall be glad to know that I am more than satisfied." He takes some pasta and the garlic bread.

"Oh thank you."

"And contrary to what you believe, it is at par with what the dreaming serves."

"Really?" You raise an eyebrow. Doubt evident in your expression.

"Yes. I am just reminded that the real food satisfies urges that I have forgotten."

"Nourishment satisfies physiological urges so that people may be able to satisfy urges of less physical needs."

"Such as companionship."

"Yes, and the urge to create, the urge to consume stories."

"Almost everything has a story."

"But not everything has to be a story told."

"True, but all stories have some sort of purpose. Whether it's simply to entertain or for something else."

"Like putting me to sleep and leading me to the dreaming?" He couldn't help but smile at this.

"Exactly."

After briefly cleaning up and vigorously washing the dishes. You prepare yourself for the actual date. Morpheus waits in your bedroom as you change in the bathroom. Normally you wouldn't mind simply having him turn around as you change into your sleepwear. But this was just the first date even though you've known him longer than any of your lovers. And you would rather the two of you had a sturdier foundation to build your romantic relationship from. Other things can wait.

You dress in a cotton long-sleeved shift. Not something that people would think of as sexy, but you wanted to be comfortable. Besides, if he had any issue with you dressing more for comfort than for seduction, then he was probably had high hopes for tonight.

"I'm ready." He takes a seat as you settle in your bed. And soon you fell asleep to the sound of his voice lulling you to sleep.

And soon you find yourself in an unfamiliar part of the dreaming. You were in a location that was reminiscent of Venice at a time when gondolas were still the main means of travel. The sun was setting and you could understand how it made the scene so romantic.

"You just can't help yourself can you?"

"I have catered it to your liking. I assure you it is still rather intimate, just as you requested." He steps into an empty gondola and picks up the rowing oar before he lends a hand to you. Feeling giddy you take it and you step into the gondola. Once you were inside, you settle yourself on front of him. And it was then that you realize that it was a modified gondola and was reminiscent of the boat used by the Phantom and Christine to travel into his lair. It was downright luxurious with velvet lining and pillows. And much like the show, it had enough room for two and could double as a bed comfortably.

"You got inspiration from my favorite musical?"

"Yes, among many things that you liked." His voice was lighter and yet still proud about his work.

"Are there rising candelabras later?"

"Maybe next time. I promised to err on the side of comfort and intimacy."

"Well thank you for respecting my wishes."

The journey allowed you to pass by gorgeous sites. In the sky the stars have begun to come out and street lamps show the various people living their lives. Close enough to give you an idea of what they're doing, yet far enough to still allow them some privacy.

"I recall when you were a high priest for Ek Chuah that you enjoyed watching people from afar in the temple. When I asked about it back then if it was similar to my position, you explained that it was something else." He says in a gentler almost affectionate tone. Nostalgia brings you back to that lifetime.

You had just finished the sacrificial offerings to Ek Chuah on front of the populace. Contrary to what some people believe right now, part of your training was to show no malice towards the people who were prepared as offerings. It was well understood that it is a task that no one would volunteer for. Those who had volunteered for it, those who were actively seeking death in the guise of a self-offering were not worthy of being offerings at all. People from either your own or from captured prisoners who wanted to live, who wanted to thrive, were what made them the ideal offerings. Colonial Spaniards later on would think the Aztec people, a newer civilization and culture from the seeds of your Mayan culture, thought that those who were wailing about not being offered on the altar despite them being set free simplified them to be bizarre suicidal people. When really it was about respecting the faith and the preparations made for them to be offered. To not follow through with the offering was taboo, and a risk no one was willing to take.

He appeared by your side disguised as a fellow priest as the two of you look out from the temple. You don't know how long the two of you talked, but when he had to leave, it was about to be dawn, and you had yet to sleep.

"I remembered how puzzled you were that I seemed to enjoy watching people live out their lives. You sometimes watched me do it in my previous lifetimes that you thought it was to simply observe."

"There was a spark that seemed to grow and dim in a pattern I have yet to discover. And it made me curious enough that I needed to know more from you." You briefly hold on to the sides of the boat as he made a turn to the left.

"What I said back then is still true now. I enjoy watching people live out their lives because there are so many possibilities of living life that even with the many lifetimes I lived, I still will not be able to experience everything and anything. I still don't know the nuances of how cobblers make shoes, though I can appreciate watching them work and the product that comes. I still don't know what a teenage boy is whispering to a teenage girl that made her laugh, even though I have a guess as to what it is and have been in both their places. There is just so much possibility, and yet it ironically is also follows a similar pattern no matter where I am born in."

"I remember being startled that you don't just simply use your ability to read the conscious minds of the people you were curious about. But then you explained the intricacies of doing that while you are still mortal and not in your Intangible form."

"I also don't like unnecessarily reading other's minds. They deserve the privacy to actually think whatever their minds want no matter how much I agree, disagree, or any other reaction I may have. If they cannot be themselves in the place that they cannot escape from, then how are they to really know who they are? Even if it is a vague idea of what their true selves may be."

Morpheus makes a right turn before finally stopping at a port where he gets off first before helping you step onto the marble floor. It was only then that you realize that your dress was a more walk friendly version of Christine Daae's white night robe from the show. Made of silk and lace and yet it was so soft and comfortable that you barely noticed it on your skin.

"Is this going to be you singing Music of the Night?" He smiles, his expression lighthearted as you take his arm as he leads you through the streets.

"My equivalent of that perhaps. Originally I was going to treat you to foods that you have been missing for awhile. But since you are still full and you enjoy simply walking around, we shall be taking a longer route to your area in the dreaming." You couldn't help but smile at that as you allow him to lead the way.

"May I ask, did it ever occur to you that simply asking me or telling me would suffice?"

"About humanity or how I felt about you?"

"Both. Some things may have been prevented, some words never said, some misunderstandings cut in the bud."

"Would you believe me if I told you that looking back now, my pride and my ego may have blinded me and contributed to my mistakes." You take a sigh.

"Back then, maybe not. But now-now that Desire has shown me that I too am at the mercy of my own insecurities when it comes to you...perhaps."

"Of all the possible beings."

"They are living up to their name and domain. Even you can't deny that they are right in this instance."

"After they endangered you and risk ending all life in this world and possibly beyond?"

"This instance meaning when we confronted them. Not their actions forcing our confrontation with them. That being said, I could understand their reasons for taking that risk when it comes to the two of us. I'm not blind that they still want to harm you or to bring your ego down. But they were right to be concerned about what it might mean for the Universe if we didn't resolve this."

"Still, I would have appreciated alternative means for us to be where we are now."

The two of you pass by what appeared to be the dreaming's version of Café Van Gogh, only instead of being a still painting, it was animated and teaming with people going in and out and dining in the outdoor tables.

"They are other dreamers, those who have dreamed about dining in the famous Café Van Gogh."

"Can they see us?"

"If they choose to. Otherwise we are simply a couple of bystanders simply passing through their dreams."

"Hmm maybe on our next or succeeding date I would like to dine with you there."

"I shall take that into consideration."

"Out of curiosity, are there any sites or anything you want to do? I don't want to be the only one to have preferences on how we spend our time together."

The two of you take a turn to the right. A slightly quieter area but nevertheless still lively with a bunch of dreamers, their dream companions and some minor nightmares making mischief on their assigned targets.

"In all honesty, I truly am satisfied with simply having dinner with you. I find myself more satisfied from our conversations than anything I could simply conjure in the dreaming."

"Or - maybe you just aren't aware of what your own preferences are having served all beings capable of dreaming for awhile now that you neglected your own self."

"I was not aware that I was also receiving guidance from you."

"I couldn't help myself, I apologize."

"I - I do not mind if you enlighten me more. It seems I feel more receptive to such guidance from you." You couldn't help but make a small chuckle.

"Considering our history together, maybe we could benefit from enlightening each other."

"You? Being enlightened by me? When it is from you that my dreams are constituted and formed?"

"Have you forgotten how I worried that it was my fault that I couldn't save you? You enlightened me with how I aided you in your escape."

"And I wouldn't forget it soon."

"My point Morpheus, is that it turns out we actually benefit from each other." Your heart lightened as he couldn't help but chuckle. Sincerity in his voice as you knew he could see your point.

For the rest of the walk the two of you drift into conversations about how perhaps your domains have long influenced each other and are perhaps more interconnected than just simple influence. The conversation then branched out to various topics, him and his initial thoughts on art, the two of you then debating if art is the best midpoint of bringing dreams into reality.

"In the lifetimes where I was allowed to develop my skills as an artist, I remember being so frustrated that plenty of times my work no matter how praised and favored it was, was still less than how I imagined it to be. It's almost as if however I have imagined it, it was for mine alone and my work was the best I could to share it with others."

"And yet it is also those works that last longer than some of your lifetimes and have gone on to inspire others in their own dreams. I consider that a great compromise for not being able to share the way you have imagined it to be."

"We all want what we can't have. I still find myself mourning over those lost imaginations that seem to leave so quickly once they feel they have served their purpose. Some leave more quickly more than others, some linger for awhile only for me to wake up and suddenly realize that they have already left."

"I feel the same. Not simply about imaginations and thoughts but also some relationships, some things that I realize have simply escaped me."

"Such as connections with humanity?"

"Rather my own misconceptions of humanity."

You find yourself now at the door to your own deceptively small cottage in the dreaming. It was larger inside than what it looks on the outside. Similar to the houses Cain and Abel occupied with goldie, but more to your liking.

"Am I supposed to let go of you now?"

"Should you wish it." His tone was light, his face is neutral, but you could tell that he too didn't want it to end just yet.

"Then" you turn to face him, looking into the eyes that was capable of showing the universe, and a lot more.

"Would it be selfish of me to request you stay until I awake?" His lips turn upwards as he goes closer to you.

"It is a request that would also fulfill my own selfish desire." Smiling at him, you take his hand as you guide him inside.

The two of you spend the rest of the evening at each other's side by the fireplace. You laying your head on his shoulder as the two of you softly talk. It was what you wanted. Intimacy.

Soon you feel yourself beginning to awaken. Not yet but soon.

"Before I awaken, I'm glad how this date went." You feel him gently caress your head.

"I hope I had complied with your wishes."

"It did. It's funny how nervous I was yesterday morning. Finally we go on a romantic date, and yet I was nervous about how it will turn out. When I should've known that time seems to pass by whenever we start talking."

"Your feelings were mutual. I have made so many mistakes trying to be closer to you. I feared that one of the nightmares might secretly interfere and ruin this. Only to realize that we share our desire for intimacy." You look up at him as you feel yourself finally awaken.

"Thank you for this Morpheus."

"Thank you. Enjoy your Sunday."

You awaken with a refreshed feeling and a smile on your face. The next date you two had was in the waking world this time it was your turn to show him around. The setting was still on what you would call as the wholesome intimate side. Which mainly was eating dinner at a restaurant then relaxing in your favorite café, or rather you were eating dark chocolate macademia cookies and every now and then you were sipping Moroccan Mint tea.

In between dates was your informal guidance of him and his thoughts. You made it a rule never to have them on the same day and to have one day at the very least in between them. Not only was this to balance out your new relationship but to also help build the foundation for a longer term relationship that would be viable beyond one lifetime.

He had become more involved with interacting with your domain. You would of course send him back to the Dreaming when you felt he needed to return to his work and not neglect the dreams of all. A task that hung around your head as you recall the consequences of his imprisonment by Burgess.

Eventually he had revealed that he had managed to create an alias for himself in order to continue your courtship in the waking world.

"You chose Rizmon as your last name?" You couldn't help but smirk at this as you view some of the legal documents he gave you to check.

"Is it too unusual?"

"No, but I'm wondering why you didn't just go with Oneiros or ēdrurys?"

"Oneiros might give me away. Ēdrurys sounds to fantastical to be real. Rizmon at least has some believability in both the spelling and its sound."

"For someone who is the embodiment of Dream I have to say this is pretty uncreative of you. Simply translating 'sand' in High Valyrian?"

"Not enough people know about High Valyrian yet and there is plausible deniability of it even then. Rizmon sounds similar to many real life last names such as Desmond."

"I'm rather impressed that you are able to have an occupation that coincides with what you actually do. Mr. Morpheus Rizmon, mysterious investor of the media production company 'Heightened minds'. Headquarters not too far away from a magical community hub and is accessible to mine and Emira's school. Are there actual people in this company or are they just some of your dreams and nightmares?"

"There are actual people involved, yes. It is mainly run by those in the magical community who wish to be involved in the entertainment industry. Mainly with content production such as books, articles, films, and other media that are consumed. Sam's family is the major investor of it as I'm sure he has told you. I just have this position as an excuse to have an occupation."

"Are you actually being paid though?"

"Technically it's paid to your bank account since I don't want to deal with such matter."

"...we might as well open a joint account just to be sure. Otherwise banks might think there is suspicious activity with my account."

"Very well, though it may not be necessary."

"I'd rather have things that I can explain rather than face the penalty of what I couldn't in court."

A question suddenly occurs to you.

"By any chance -?"

"From what I know we are still working on a collaboration with SB19."

"...I projected my question into you didn't I?" He chuckles softly before he fades away back into the dreaming as you make yourself lunch.

Each succeeding date you both had became less of a source of stress and more of a stress reliever for both of you. It almost reminded you of the times when either of you previously intentionally sought each other either in the Dreaming or in the waking world just for a chat.

"Is it odd that I feel how relieved that it is surprisingly familiar? It almost felt like any one of our ordinary meetings but now...now I'm more than aware of our mutual feelings for each other."

"No, it isn't." Death says as she takes a sip from her metal straw of the lemon iced tea you've made. You two were currently in the dining room of your apartment a few days after the Saturday night date.

"Maybe it's because I'm biased, but I was massively relieved when I heard that you two were finally going to be dating and this more than a millenia of mutual pining will finally be resolved."

"Hey - in my defense I didn't know it was mutual up until recently."

"The point is that whatever type of unresolved tension between the two of you is slowly being resolved. The fact that the two of you are now communicating more than ever is promising. As long as the two of you don't become complacent and continually work on your now romantic bond, then I don't see what's the problem." She gives you a knowing mischievous look as you find yourself smiling.

"I don't know if it's because we are currently on the honeymoon stage, but I am thankful that the familiarity in our relationship still allows me to argue with him and him actually rebutting me. I used to be more nervous that he would let any arguments we've had affect our relationship. But to my surprise, he understood that sometimes an argument is just an exchange of ideas."

"A sometimes passionate exchange of ideas."

"You're being weird he's your brother."

"I'm just teasing, I will be hard at work on my duties during times you two want to be intimate."

"Much appreciated dear sister." Morpheus appears to your side from the living area.

"Oh Dream, come to steal away my best friend?" Death says still in the same mischievous and lighthearted voice.

"You were informed before hand that I will be arriving in the early evening. It is no fault of mine that you've lost tract of time."

"Oh and this is the thanks I get for helping the two of you progress in your relationship."

"If by helping you mean persistently tell me to tell him my thoughts then thank you."

"And I'm off. Enjoy your first anniversary you two." She walks out the door leaving you alone with Morpheus.

"Shall we?"

"Let me just get my bag."

"You won't need to worry about anything. I have made some adequate preparations."

"Still, it never hurts to be prepared."

You are transported through his sand into what was clearly in a place opposite your time zone. You weren't sure if this was in the morning or the afternoon but the sun was still on the sky here.

"Where are we?"

"Look carefully." He whispers as he gently turns you around and you see a beautiful yet homely Inn. It was only when you saw the road sign and some familiar landmarks that you finally realize where you were.

"The Inn where I stayed in?! When you were still captured?!"

"It was renovated under new ownership. I managed to get us a private room with a view for a day and an evening."

"So that's why you wanted to make sure that I was both alone and had no prior engagement."

"And that no one wouldn't miss you for a while. Or not beyond reasonable."

"I hope you paid them or at least that you have generously compensated them."

"Worry not. I have paid them in advance using my one of my aliases here."

"Then as long as they are generously compensated I can allow myself to relax."

He leads you to a room in the second floor. Not quite the same as the last time you were here. But given how you died in that lifetime, you were glad for that change.

You enter the room. It was a gorgeous yet intimate suite. The colors are light and they are complemented by bold lines that made the room dynamic but not losing its comfort and intimacy. There was a window bed by the window large enough for one person to sleep in or to serve as a couch. The bed was made of understated but luxurious fabric. Genuine silk for the sheets underneath and the duvet is made of velvet.

"I need to ask, of all the places you could've brought me...why here?"

"It was here that my creation was responsible for your death. And to some degree I felt I too was indirectly responsible for it. I am aware now that such line of thinking if uncontrolled would only lead to more unnecessary pain. And so I felt that I should take you here on our anniversary to make new memories to replace the ones that lead to pain."

You take a seat on the window bed and he rolls the dining table on front of you as he takes a seat across you.

"I guess we have Jessamy to thank for where we are now. She always thought we were eventually going to be a couple. It used to annoy me since I thought you didn't reciprocate my feelings."

"Reminiscing now, perhaps had I been more honest of my own...or my awareness of your feelings, perhaps things may have been different."

"Probably. But a part of me is glad of our rather tumultuous journey here. We both needed help changing. And maybe the fates have seen that this was the best outcome for us."

"Don't mention the three at this time. They have done a lot." You could tell by his tone that he was teasing. Had it been anyone else they may not have recognized it as teasing at all.

"Well they have their own design and are privy more than any of us to the contents of Destiny's book. I still have yet to understand the relationship of those three with him."

"I've learned that there are some things that are best not to inquire. If we were meant to know then the Universe itself would've allowed us such knowledge."

He stands up and gets a bottle of pink champagne from the ice bucket and disposed of the now melted ice from two champagne flutes.

"I remember my own encounter with your former partner Sam." You raise an eyebrow at this as you slice yourself a slice of the apple pie.

"Oh? What did he say?"

"In essence that he would find some way to hurt me if I ever intentionally harmed you. He doesn't care that I am the embodiment of dreams. He cares deeply for you, which at first I was uncertain if it would affect our relationship." He hands you one of the flutes as he clears away the empty plates into a dining tray for dish washing.

"But then?"

"Then I saw him move on with another. And yet I could tell by his dreams that you still hold a deep platonic place in his heart."

"I'm not surprised, we mistook our deep bond for something romantic when it turns out we were just scared of never experiencing it in our lifetimes that we tried to turn our friendship into something else forcefully."

"It was then that I felt relief. And yet I was ashamed momentarily for feeling uncertain about my place with you when I know that if someone else has caught your eye, you would tell me." You reach for his hand across the table as you feel the otherworldly energy on his fingers play with the flow of your own fingertips. The spark that had only dimmed but never left.

"Feelings and thoughts are just that feelings or thoughts. Not all of them define who you are but rather what you do with them."

"And with your help I have improved on managing that." His thumb brushes along your skin. It was so gentle that there was no room to hide the spark of energy that he was stimulating you with.

"None of us are perfect. All we could do is to continue to improve and adapt to whatever changes may happen." You see the love in his eyes, relief, joy, pain, despair, faith, hope among other things that love reaches. Some say that love has no place in dreams. To a certain degree there was truth in that. Love is a verb, a need to act. Love has no place in dreams because to love is to act. And to truly love, it cannot take place in dreams or in the dreaming alone.

Love encompasses all of the Endless.

He takes your hand and guides you to stand.

"I have something for you." He takes a black corded necklace with his sigil as a pendant.

Oh my

Oh the fates

OH THE UNIVERSE.

"Morpheus" Your eyes start tearing up with tears of joy.

"Life, the beautiful anomaly of the universe...will you take me as your spouse and consort? A year by human standards may be too fast. But I have never felt more certain. I will wait till you are ready to marry. For you are worth the wait to become my Queen. I know not what the future holds, but I want to face it with you by my side." The significance of the gift was not lost on you.

With his sigil around your neck you wouldn't need the gallery to call him. It would create a bond stronger than any of the other Endless. With his helm against your skin...the intimacy it implied...the responsibility you would have as consort to the Dreaming in addition to your own responsibilities of the Endless...

And that he was not in a rush and would wait for you to be ready to formally marry.

"Yes." And before you knew it your eyes were closed, you were in his embrace, and your lips were against his. It was slow, sensual, both of you savoring the moment of your commitment to each other.

He releases your lips to let you breathe while he rests his forehead against yours. Your eyes meet and his expression mirrors yours. One filled with joy and hope.

"I can't believe it."

"Then allow me to place it on your person." You put your finger against his lips. A sign to let you speak.

"I can't believe that we had the same idea." You chuckle as you see the surprise on his face as you bring out a pouch from your handbag. In the small pouch was something worth more to you than all other types of rings that existed in this world. Two months before this day you found a metal rose ring from a jewelry store. You bought it and had since been giving some of your power to the ring with the hopes of giving it to Morpheus tonight.

You knew he was ready to commit when in your recent formal guidance sessions he not only actively sought help from you but also from Nadia. You were there as he made his confessions to her as you stood by for moral support. You knew he was ready when he wasn't afraid to tell you of his insecurities and was ready to be vulnerable around you.

You knew you were ready when you placed necessary boundaries to have time for yourself. You knew you were ready when you find yourself no longer thinking that the risks of being with him would be the only outcome of what a marriage with him could be.

You knew you were ready when you found yourself filled with hope among the doubts and insecurities you had, and will have.

You just felt ready. No words could truly describe how you know. Language just became so insufficient.

You lift the ring from the pouch.

"This seems redundant now but I'm not taking any chances." His expression is still one of disbelief.

"Dream of the Endless, would you be my spouse and consort?"

"Yes."

Once again his lips were on yours. Both of you deepening the kiss as he guides you to the bed. You two part as you both take a seat at the edge.

"I believe we should have our own little game to properly exchange our sigils."

"Let me make sure we are uninterrupted first." He takes all the dirty plates in the same tray and pulls the cord summoning a bell boy to take it to the dish washer. Afterwards he pours the Pink Champagne to the flutes and hands one to you.

"To our engagement."

Glasses clink as the two of you share a drink. You felt pleasure in your mouth as the bubbles tickle their way down in your throat. The empty flutes are then placed on the dining room.

"Should I start or you?"

"Allow me beloved."

You turn around as he unclasps the necklace.

"I Dream of the Endless, bestow my power upon this sigil worn by my consort, Life incarnate. She shall share in my responsibilities to the Dreaming and to dreams. I surrender to her what is mine, for our partnership to each other, to the realm, and to the Universe. Till the end of time."

You feel the power in his sigil as it settles on the area just above your cleavage area. Your senses were heightened as you could still feel his breath by your ear and his fingertips on your nape.

Now it was your turn.

You turn to face him as you lift his non-dominant hand.

"Which finger would you like me to place it on?"

"The ring finger would do." You straighten your back as you take his hand.

"I Life Incarnate, bestow my power upon this sigil worn by my consort, Dream of the Endless. He shall share in my responsibilities to the Waking world and to life. I surrender to him what is mine, for our partnership to each other, to the realm, and to the Universe. Till the end of time."

You slip the ring on his finger, and you could feel him sense the power now radiating from your sigil on his hand.

The two of you spent the rest of the time celebrating before he carried you back into your apartment.

You couldn't help but offer your gratitude to the Universe as you lay your head on his shoulder as the sun rises from your window.

It's the rise of a new era.

"You all know the rest." You say as you take a sip of ambrosia gifted to you by Calliope.

"Wow - so you and father being a couple is a new thing?" Knowledge, your son, the middle child and older twin of his brother Imagination says in disbelief.

"How could-How could you not have told each other that you loved each other?"

"Sensuality dear, have you met your father?" You laugh as she still has her jaw dropped open in disbelief. Your second child however was still in disbelief at your story.

"You know what" Connectivity the youngest says as she begins to stand up from the picnic blanket.

"That actually explains why Uncle Destruction and Aunty Death likes teasing father and being overly dramatic that it took him more than a millennia just to confess to mo -Ah"

"CONNECTIVITY!" Vitality, your eldest child and near carbon copy of your recent physical form was able to catch Connectivity before she fell over on her back.

"Be careful sister, you just died in your human lifetime. It takes awhile to get used to our intangible forms."

"I thought it was supposed to be easier? Especially here in the Dreaming."

"Hahahaha easy she says. I don't know about all of you, I was able to settle in pretty quickly."

"Oh shut up Imagination, nobody wants you bragging how you are a natural at it."

"Sensuality, he's the personification of Imagination what else did you expect from my twin?"

"Children." They all calm down with you uttering just one word.

"Vitality dear, how was your meeting with Destiny?"

"He just gave me a brief background of the experiment bestowed upon him by his book. He says I could still take my time thinking if I should accept it since the 'canon' events that lead up to the historical version of the Dance of Dragons are still currently happening. I won't be needed until about 50 to 100 years yet."

"In the meantime she'll be here with us. Practicing and honing your powers as you build your own realms." Morpheus says as he sits beside you and you lean your head on his shoulder.

"Wait dad - how did you punish Mark Gal Lanes for what he did to mom?"

"Well Connectivity, you could say both your mother and I played a part here in the dreaming. For a period of time, he was only ever a snake in his dreams. That was the only choice I left him."

"And then I was in the form of a King Cobra. I think you can guess what happens next."

"Oh OH." Knowledge's eyes widen in both horror and astonishment.

"MOM YOU ATE HIM!" Sensuality couldn't help but scream out her shock.

"Well I treated him as a toy first then I ate him as slowly as I can so he will feel himself being digested by me."

"And this happened for how long?"

"About three weeks, Vitality. I considered making a permanent nightmare version of your mother's King Cobra form but then your Aunt, Death says that his time was near and that I and your mother have made our point and received our revenge."

As your children gather around the two of you with your head on his shoulder and his arm placing you in his embrace. You couldn't help but feel satisfied. It turns out as a consequence of being a consort to the realm of the Dreaming, another change entered your life. Instead of only constantly being in the Waking World, you were allowed more freedom to choose when you wanted to re-enter your domain in a mortal form. It was refreshing being in your immortal form for longer than a few years or decades. It was nice having a break, even if it's only just briefly.

Yes, you were satisfied indeed.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Once again I would like to thank everyone who has been with me on this journey. This is the end of the story for Beautiful Anomaly with Part 9 being the nsfw scenes that are implied here so that those who don't want to read the sex scenes won't have to endure it.

#Beautiful Anomaly #morpheus #dream of the endless #the sandman #Morpheus x reader #morpheus x fem!reader #Dream x reader #dream x fem!reader #Morpheus x you #Morpheus x y/n #Dream x you #Dream x y/n #Final chapter #for the story part #Dream x Life

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stargleam-star · 20 days

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My thoughts on Wind

Finally finished reading book 4 of A Starless Clan. I've got a lot of opinions on it, as expected. It's going to be long and rambly. There will be major spoilers under the read more. My thoughts might only make sense to me so I understand if nobody wants to read this, but I really want to get out my feelings on this book

Shout out to @shadowfern for sending me the link to the pdf! Tysm again!!!

Let's start this off by talking about the best girl in the whole world: Frostpaw. Oh my sweet baby. They really put her Through It this book. She was so right to come forward during the gathering in chapter one to speak out against Splashtail.

But then Duskfur. Oooh my god Duskfur. Literally what was her fucking damage? Frostpaw is her freaking GRANDDAUGHTER. But I guess because Frostpaw mentioned Curlfeather being an evil mastermind, Duskfur was pissed about it? Which is understandable. Who wants to hear that their child is a murderer, someone who organized the death of important figures in your society?

But then she goes on to accuse Frostpaw of being a liar and a manipulator because *gasp* she was a manipulated teen who couldn't figure out what was right and what was wrong!? She was tricked by Curlfeather into being a medicine cat, as Splashtail reiterates. She does eventually get real visions, though. However, because she had a few false visions, nobody will believe her about them. But like. Frostpaw is a kid essentially, with not a lot of training yet, and who doesn't have much of a guide when it comes to visions because Mothwing doesn't get them. How was Frostpaw supposed to distinguish what was real and what was a dream all on her own?

Regardless Duskfur is a bitch in the first chapter who backs up Splashtail and his condescending speech about how much Frostpaw had been through and how much of a poir little meow meow she is because of it

And then she proceeds to get exiled. Her clanmates know she's been through so much, and yet they allow her to be cast out from her home away from the support of her family

A family which comprises of mostly bastards at this current moment, including Duskfur, Icewing, and Podlight. Shout out to the do-nothing siblings Graypaw and Mistpsw though

I hate the characterization of Icewing in this first chapter because she doesn't do much. Podlight is another creature entirely. He's so vile. Gives off evil henchman vibes, almost on the same wavelength as Darkstripe

I'll come back to those cats later, let's get back to talking about Frostpaw. After getting exiled she has to frantically look between the leaders to see who might take her into their clan, so she doesn't become a rogue. Squirrelstar almost agrees but because she doesn't want to cause trouble she hesitates (we'll also get back to this characterization later). Tigerheartstar instead offers Frostpaw a temporary place in Shadowclan

If I had a nickle for every time Tigerheartstar took in an exiled Riverclan medicine cat I'd have 2 nickles. Which isn't a lot but its weird it happened twice

I love the dynamic between Frostpaw and Shadowsight. I've seen people shipping them but I literally cannot picture them being romatic with each other. I get big brother little sister vibes from them. I feel like Puddleshine's wariness of Frostpaw was dumb, though.

Puddleshine did eventually come around, when he snuck to the moon pool with Frostpaw to see if Splashtail would go to get his nine lives. I hate how he didn't start believing Frostpaw until Riverstar appeared though. Splashtail and Podlight sitting around, laughing about how useless Starclan is and how they're literally at the moon pool just to say they went, doesn't convince Puddleshine that Frostpaw was telling the truth. But Riverstar hopping over their heads unseen just to wink at Puddleshine and Frostpaw convinces him. Ok.

Great job guiding the living btw Riverstar. Clearly not doing anything or saying anything beyond that one tiny scene was helpful

Anyways, Puddleshine, finally believing Frostpaw, goes with her to tell Tigerheartstar about everything was great. Actually I hate to say if but I really liked Tigerheartstar this book. He was literally the only tolerable and competent leader throughout the entire thing. Even better than Squirrelstar

Speaking of Squirrelstar. Oh boy.... What the hell did they do to her?

I expected the Erins to do one of four things with Squirrelstar. 1) Kill her by the end of this book (and say she lied about getting her nine lives). 2) Make her a very aggressive leader. 3) Leave her character alone and write her as she has been. Or 4) make her incompetent and have her be the first deposed leader

Instead, they made Squirrelstar the most do nothing leader imaginable. To the point where other characters in the text itself were mentioning how she's doing nothing at all, and how unexpected that is. Squirrelstar states she doesn't want to shake things up because of being a new leader. She's trying to gain the other leaders' respect

Which I could understand. If this was any other character in the entirety of warriors, minus Firestar. Squirrelflight was always the type to be headstrong doing things her own way, to follow her heart, and do what needs to be done especially for the good of others. Squirrelstar even mentions that about herself! "As Squirrelflight I'd agree with you. But as Squirrelstar I'm afraid I can't." There is literally no difference though, she's still the same cat!!!

I understand she's also trying to protect Thunderclan and keep her warriors safe. She's responsible for all these lives. But she was responsible for them before as well! She was deputy ffs. A clan deputy is responsible for the lives of their clanmates as much as a leader is. Squilf even acted as temporary leader, and still did not behave like this at that time! I don't understand why she had to be written as someone too hesitant to act because of fear of being judged. Squilf was literally never like that before until this book. She's basically a new character and I think I hated this most of all out of everything else in Wind.

Actually none of the leaders except Tigerheartstar want to act in this book. Squirrelstar and Harestar both want to wait to stop Splashtail until Riverclan is ready to stop him. In the old books though, if there was something going on in the other clans the leaders didn't like, they'd fight about it (for example: how Shadowckan and Winclan teamed up to raid Thunderclan after discovering they were housing Brokentail as their prisoner. Or how Lionclan first formed to stop Tigerstar from ruling over all the clans.)

Also now that I mention fighting, there are literally no battles waged in the entire book. The closest thing we get is the battle training in Riverclan camp where Splashtail was forcing cats to fight each other aggressively with claws out.

And the most violent 2 scenes in the book were when a tree fell on Winclan's nursery, and Splashtail killed Harelight in front of his clan because Harelight dared to have a different opinion than him

Harelight deserved better tbh. He was one of the best characters in the story and he barely had a part to play. Rip king

Let's talk about some other characters now. Nightheart for instance. He was actually also tolerable in this book. I like how his character has progressed. He's growing up and isn't as much of a jerk like he was in the beginning, good for him.

I liked his relationship with Wasp and Waffle. Though I'm surprised neither of them insisted on following Frostpaw. Especially with how determined Wasp was to become a Riverclan cat. I'm shocked he didn't loyally follow Frostpaw wherever she went due to her connection to Riverstar. Instead both cats went with Nightheart to Thunderclan which was fine for a while

Nightheart makes for a good mentor, surprisingly. I like the way he taught Wasp and Waffle about things. Though I don't like that he was chosen to be Wafflepaw's mentor. It makes sense, but like other characters said, the apprentices could have gone to more experienced cats than Nightheart and Co.

The relationship between Nightheart and Sunbeam is cute here and there but their chemistry is almost non existent. Sunbeam has more chemistry with Finchlight, Bayshine, and Myrtlebloom than Nightheart. Finchlight should steal Sunbeam from Nightheart sorry not sorry

Sunbeam's turn now. Once again her chapters felt the weakest compared to the other POVs. She doesn't really bring anything new to the table, her perspective shows nearly the same things Nightheart's does and her personality is kind of generic. The only thing she has is mommy angst, and love for Nightheart. She worries about her family in most of her chapters, when they don't really want her around unless she helps them and/or stays with them. Berryheart is especially mean towards Sunbeam. She feels betrayed, sure, but that's still her kid who's trying to heal the disgusting infection that slowly killing her. Look at that Sunbeam's so uninteresting I started talking about Berryheart instead. Let's dive into that more

I didn't think Berryheart would have that much influence over the plot anymore tbh. But this stupid cat is gripping it tightly with the tips if her grubby little paws refusing to let go. Throughout most of her mentioned moments she's slowly wasting away from a nasty wound she obtained by being too stubborn to get off the road. She refuses treatment from Sunbeam because she didn't agree with mommy dearest and follow her to exile so now Berryheart's basically disowned Sunbeam (its never stated but implied by her behavior).

Another reason Berryheart refuses medicine is because they are "clan herbs" and she refuses anything from the clans. Although idk how she was able to tell the herbs came from a clan vs Sunbeam finding them on her own but whatever. Then several chapters later she's magically joined Riverclan and proclaims to be one of the most loyal cats there??? Idk how Berryheart went from being a diehard Shadowclan loyalist, to a bitter rogue hating all the clans, to a Riverclan cat. Sunbeam thinks it might be due to Berryheart fighting to survive but by the time she's shown in Riverclan she seems almost back to full health. Maybe she's planning to destroy the clans now, from the inside out, starting with Riverclan. Who knows. I guess we'll find out in the next book or two. I'm disappointed Berryheart didn't die and that they're continuing on with her as a villain. I'm on the fence of whether I like her being a villain anymore. On one hand, yay a villain who's clanborn and a female. On the other, she's a really annoying and a poorly written villain

Moving on to other, more minor characters: Mothwing Duskfur, and Icewing. We don't see much of them (especially past the first chapter). When we do, though, they're talking to Frostpaw about how right she is and how none of them want Splashtail in power anymore.

This is an especially surprisingly development from Duskfur who earlier was very outspoken about accepting him. The in-story excuse is that Riverclan just wanted a leader finally, and were willing to accept that Podlight suddenly wanted to be a healer and magically had a connection to Starclan which told him that Splashtail was their new ruler. The real excuse is that it's piss poor writing and the Erins make whatever cat do whatever is necessary for the plot, even if that means their personality needs to takes an entire 180 in the middle of the book.

Icewing is still pretty useless in the story, which is a shame because she had a decent roll last book. Mothwing's character stayed somewhat the same, though. She's still kind of mean to Frostpaw. She's sort of a do-nothing, too, but not as much as the leaders. She wants to make a change but doesn't act at first because then Riverclan would be left without a proper medicine cat, which is a more valid excuse for her inaction compared to Squirrelstar's, Tigerheartstar's, and Harestar's.

Lightleap was mentioned in one chapter and she had an attitude. What a tragedy. Blazefire and Dovewing weren't mentioned at all which was a huge loss, because we lovewing Dovewing here, and I just think Blazefire is neat (I like his name, I'm biased purely because of that)

Whistlepaw was really good in this book, as she was in the last. I feel like she was unjustly punished for helping Frostpaw as I stated in this post here, I won't repeat myself about that point again. I liked her during the Windckan chapters, when the tree fell on the nursery. Her mentioning the kit she was trying to save, Leafkit, was her baby sister was sooo nice. The Erins rarely write cats acknowledging younger siblings as such so that was cute. It made the worry and care Whisperpaw expressed during that scene all the better because it wasn't just a medicine cat trying to do their job and save someone. It was a sister desperately trying to get to their sister. Whistlepaw is my second favorite character in this arc next to Frostpaw and not just because of my next point.

Whistlepaw × Frostpaw is the most superior ship in the book, and dare I say throughout the current arc. Their dialog with each other once Sunbeam rescued Leafkit was so gay it was amazing. Like legit their interactions with each other here as well as through most of A Starless Clan have more chemistry than any other pairings do

Also this is random but I feel like either Whistlepaw or Leafkit will get a POV next arc. Probably Leafkit because the writers took the time to describe what she looks like even though Leafkit only appeared for this one scene. Please Erins give us a Winclan POV

I suppose I should talk about Splashtail now. He's a really lame villain tbh. I'm glad we have a clanborn bad guy for a change, but he literally sucks. He wants to be leader because he wants to make Riverclan stronger, great. And then he proceedes to do that by having his warriors beat the shit out of each other to toughen them up and make them seem like the strongest clan. Ok. Idk how that accomplishes anything rn. I'm sure this means Riverclan will get to cause the one fight scene that happens next book, hooray /s

No but seriously I see where this whole evil Splashtail plot is going. He doesn't like Starclan because he doesn't want to listen to what they say or follow their rules. The moral of this arc is going to be that following Starclan is the right thing to do, they are the ultimate good, and anybody who doesn't follow Starclan is a dirty heretic. It's christian religious propaganda and I'm tired of it, but whatever I'm to obsessed with these stupid cats to stop reading

Overall this book was very disappointing and boring. I'm sad to see this arc taking such a boring turn, and I'm worried about what the next books will bring. The arc was so promising and now it sucks, tragic

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk. Members of the Frostpaw Defense Club rise up!

I give this book 3/10 Stars

#warrior cats #wcs #a starless clan spoilers #asc spoilers #wind spoilers #viti shoosh

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wordshaveteeth · 5 months

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My aim for this year was to read more books. I read twenty nine, which was a vast improvement on last year (I read nine). There’s only twenty eight listed because I forgot about Kurt Vonnegut and Suzanne Mcconnell’s Pity The Reader. Sorry about that.

I tried to expand beyond my preferred genres, and made a concerted effort to read the recommendations given to me by friends and work colleagues. Nevertheless, a few of my own comfort reads made it on to the list.

Here they are! (There’s also a Q&A with myself under the cut)

The Best One

Metaphors We Live By - George Lakoff and Mark Johnson

I came to this book via two others. Philip Pullman in his nonfiction book Daemon Voices: Essays on Storytelling, referenced Mark Turner’s The Literary Mind, which in turn referred to Metaphors We Live By. It was an exercise in reverse-engineering, starting with Pullman’s perspective (whose style I greatly admire), and then working backwards to see what has informed his writing.

Metaphors We Live By helped me understand the importance of word choice, the messages we send through them, but also, how very wired our brains are for story-telling. It spoke of metaphor being fundamental to our conceptual system, not just as a poetic literary device. Whether the science is settled on this is irrelevant for me; it’s helped my writing immensely, and also been very useful in my day job. I just came away from it being so excited about language, life and brains.

The Surprising One

This Is How You Lose The Time War - Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone

Firstly, I would never have picked this for myself. I don’t really read typical romance, and the idea of having to read love letters… ugh. I was so glad to find out from my book club it was less than 200 pages—I wouldn’t be wasting too much of my time.

But I think around page 30-40, something clicked and I was hooked on the intensity and—I don’t know—violence of the love between the two characters. The prose was quite abstract and there were a few new words I learnt, which is always exciting (‘apophenic as a haruspex’ comes to mind). And after, at book club, when I discovered the unusual way it was co-authored, the inventiveness of it left me feeling even more impressed.

The Not So Great One

Lucy By The Sea - Elizabeth Strout

I just did not connect with the main character at all, and there were a few sentences that irked me by the end of the book. If I recall, it was something like ‘What I remember about it was this:’

It was also the second book I’d read that touched on the subject of the pandemic, and my own experience of the pandemic coloured my response to the main character. I judged the hell out of her, in other words, and found her to be a bit of a rich, white idiot. I don’t have time for that.

The Best One About Writing

Steering The Craft: A 21st Century Guide to Sailing the Sea of Story - Ursula K. Le Guin

I honestly hadn’t heard of Le Guin until this year, so I read Wizard of Earthsea. And then my writing club set this as reading, and I just loved it. It’s more workshop and pragmatic (not a writing memoir, like Stephen King’s On Writing, or Lamott’s Bird By Bird), but I liked how accessible it was, and the exercises set at the end of each chapter (which I did not do but would like to with other people). Oh, I also loved the excerpts from other authors she used as examples to press home her points. They were great for context.

The One I Couldn’t Finish

The Fourth Wing - Rebecca Yarros

I read to chapter 4 of The Fourth Wing and I had to stop, and it was for an incredibly petty reason. It’s not a spoiler because this character very quickly dies and serves no other purpose other than to demonstrate the danger the main character Violet faces in trying to become a Dragon Rider. BUT… we see this poor guy getting hugged by his family as he leaves to start training (oh look how loved he is), then he pulls out a ring from underneath his shirt while in a queue and says so innocently, so completely unaware that he is a foil, that he and his fiancée will get married once he’s a Dragon Rider; how confident he is, so tall, and so strong, he is already halfway there. But oh wouldn’t you know it, he slips on the stone bridge and plummets to his death.

I think I was meant to feel a little bit sorry for him, or that maybe he was going to become Violet’s friend (she definitely needed one). But this guy was meant to be twenty years old. TWENTY. And engaged?

I am too old to trust the judgment of anyone who thinks getting married at twenty is a good idea. And the fact that Violet wasn’t thinking that made me question her judgment too.

It reminded me of every action movie ever involving soldiers: as soon as a side character mentions they have someone waiting for them back home—especially a baby they’ve never met—you know they’re going to die.

But… does this mean I’ll never try and read it again? No. I’ll just choose a whole bunch of other books before I look at it again.

#2023 books #2023 book review #books and reading #readblr #booklr #literature #too many authors to tag separately

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raven-at-the-writing-desk · 2 years

Text

Fly Away

Shroud brothers angst one of my favorite flavors of tears 😈 inspired by the news of the upcoming 🦋 FG SSR Ortho 🦋

When one’s spirit has departed from the realm of the living, it may return for a brief visit on the wings of a butterfly.

***Spoilers for chapter 6 of the main story!***

Imagine this...

Idia lingered at the threshold to his first period classroom. Ortho hovered nearby, curiously glancing over his brother’s shoulder.

There were still 4 minutes left on the clock. 4 minutes before he would be herded inside with the sheeple (his peers), forced to put his nose to the grindstone, to put pencil to paper. 4 minutes of freedom remaining—and thus, free time to burn through energy on various gacha games.

Idia fidgeted with his phone, blue lips pursed into a perfectly horizontal line. His fingers sped along the screen, having memorized the routine by now.

Apps opened and then closed just as fast. Log-in rewards collected. Daily missions completed. Favorite waifus and husbandos greeted.

Familiar sound effects and voice lines enveloped his soul, soothed it.

Idia released a sigh. Relief sank to the bottom of his breath, and up rose frustration.

Ortho’s sensors stood at attention. He peered into his brother’s bleak face and grinned.

“Don’t worry, Nii-san! Pulling from your past exam scores and accounting for potential margin of error and other variable factors... By my calculations, there is a 98.72% chance that you’ll ace today’s test!”

“I-It’s not the test I’m worried about,” Idia grumbled.

His gaze appeared more grim than usual. His eyes, sunken in like the sockets of a skeleton. The skin beneath was dark compared to the rest of his sickly face, sagging like tender, rotting flesh.

He looked less human and more like a corpse groom.

“The teachers want to make it a fair game for everyone.” Ortho spoke tactfully, but failed to repress a chuckle. “And it wouldn’t be fair if you could walk into a boss fight with a super cool, one-of-a-kind buff.”

“Tch. Railroading,” Idia spat, shoving his phone into his pocket.

A sour reminder from his professors reared its head. “Shroud, you cannot bring your... sibling with you into class on examination days. Please leave the poor boy at Ignihyde in the future.”

What annoying quest conditions.

“Th-The very least they can do is let you just sit in the room until I finish the test... It’s not like I need any hacks or cheats to one-up all the noobs in my class. My IQ stat’s already enough to clear low levels like this.”

The conversation lapsed, filled by the brief murmur of students milling around them. Neither Shroud needed to say what the older one was thinking, the real reason for his concerns.

The shiver that descended, cruel nails digging into his skin. A cold, icy claw, the grip of death trailing behind him. A whisper, a murmur, from beyond the grave.

This game, too, was their routine.

A bell rang in the distance, ushering them—and time—forward. Signaling the start of class.

Idia stiffened.

An invisible hand brushed against his cheek, freezing his veins and the blood that ran in them. A boyish singsong filled his ears.

Nii-chan. Idia nii-chan...

“... I’ll be fine, Nii-san,” Ortho said softly. “I won’t disappear. I’ll be waiting right here for you when you’re finished.”

The robot floated a little closer to his brother. The fake fire called Ortho’s hair flickered, his mechanical body resonating with a low hum. Together, they radiated an immense warmth.

Idia stared up at him.

A figment of life, a fake flame, an imitation--and yet it had comforted him so, staving off the frightful cold.

He nervously nibbled on his lower lip, eyes darting between his brother and the classroom door. It flapped open and shut as students passed in and out of it—the very gate between Twisted Wonderland and the Underworld, between heaven and hell.

“Y-You promise?”

Ortho laid a hand over his burning core--over where his heart would be. He projected his most reassuring, angelic smile.

“I promise!”

The telltale glow of Ortho’s fire could be viewed through the classroom window as he peeked in.

The soft scratching of graphite and scribbled words filled the space. Students arranged in rows had their eyes pressed to papers, scrutinizing the questions--Idia included. Confidence crept onto his face, twisting his mouth into a sharp grin.

It was look of someone intent on conquering a level.

Ortho relaxed, expelling a breath he didn’t realize he had been holding.

Thank goodness. The support protocol proved to be extremely effective.

He rocketed up, extending his arms up in a victorious cheer. His metal body felt as light as air, without pressure or weight. A coolness cushioned and kissed at his back.

Was this the feeling of being “on cloud 9″?

Ortho arched his head, gazing into the sky. Today, it was a beautifully deep cornflower blue. The clouds threaded through it were but lazy white wisps.

Clouds are nothing more than visible masses of condensed water vapor, his databases informed him. There’s nothing wonderous about them.

But his AI wandered and wondered in spite of it.

Maybe it’s the breath of people from the past. Wishes upon the wind. Hopes and dreams set to the sun and the sky.

Something truly magical.

“Hehe.”

Bright orange streaked across his vision. A sunset set into motion.

Blink, blink.

A little thing with even littler legs, with delicate gossamer wings lined in a deep black, paved with white speckles. The wings were fragmented like a stained glass window, the sunlight trickling through.

Ortho’s eyes quickly adjusted to it. Visual processors aligning, camera focusing in on the creature. Circuits firing, wires connecting.

A neon blue screen appeared in his mind, the answer to his unspoken question retrieved in an instant.

[Scientific name: Danaus plexippus. Common name: monarch butterfly.]

With a flutter of its wings, it landed on the robot’s arm. The surface below it, strong and steady.

On tiny legs, the butterfly tiptoed down the length of Ortho’s forearm and onto the back of his hand. Curiously, he brought his face closer to observe. Its antennae and feet twitched as it felt up its new environment.

Exploring, seeking something.

A whisper-light touch greeted Ortho’s chin, crawling up his cheek. Orange returned to his field of vision. His face suddenly tickled. Orange, orange everywhere.

Flap, flap.

He was staring down the bug resting on his nose.

“Wah...!” Ortho cried out.

A hushed gasp, startling the butterfly. Its wings beat rapidly like an erratic heartbeat, launching it into the air.

“Ah, wait! Please don’t go, Monarch Butterfly-san!” Ortho pleaded, reaching out to it.

The butterfly fluttered just out of his grasp.

He frowned, floating over and extending another hand. Cupping them together, Ortho attempted to form a cage around the butterfly.

Its wings brushed against his metal fingers. From between the index and the middle, it just narrowly slipped out like a secret shouted to the world.

Ortho glanced after it, a new sparkle lit in his eyes. “I won’t lose!”

The engines embedded in his soles heated, magical energy collecting. Flames roared, singing in his ears, in his every nut and bolt.

He took off, rocketing after the butterfly.

They hopped and jumped and skipped through the sky. His dainty feet and the butterfly’s, hanging in the sky as they bounded about. Closing hands became clapping hands, and frantic flapping turned broad and lackadaisical.

Twirling in a dance, chasing in a game of tag.

Life—hovering close, but ever transient.

So easily snuffed out.

His face warmed from the sun and from the exertion, Ortho laughed--and he wondered if the butterfly, too, was laughing with him. His boyish sounds of joy melted into the afternoon.

Slowly, slowly, he let himself lower to the ground, flying just a few centimeters from it. His new friend followed his trail, landing carefully in the palm of his hand.

Ortho didn’t sweat and didn’t catch his breath. Both were constructs of living beings. All there was to stop for was the spring winds, which licked at and cooled his circuits.

“... Monarch Butterfly-san, did you know? I’ve got a really amazing big brother,” he whispered, a happy confession from his artificial lips. “It’s because of him that I can move and feel and think the way I can.”

I’m... doing what I was made for, aren’t I? I’m ‘Ortho’, supporting Nii-san in every way that I can.

That is all that I am. All that I can hope to be.

The butterfly held still. Its wings trembled.

“... A puppet can never become a real boy. An AI can never replace the real thing. There’s no chance of cheating Death.”

It was a fact, a figure. As real as any of his calculations, as real as any of the data he pulled up.

An undeniable truth of the world.

“His happiness is my happiness! That’s why I’m doing my best for Nii-san! I’ll make new memories with him with ‘me’... the way I am now.”

And... for the ‘you’ that is no longer here.

“Thank you for playing with me!” Ortho cupped his hands together, cradling his friend close. His voice, as fragile as glass. “But... your family must miss you, Monarch Butterfly-san.”

Life is fleetingly short. Every moment should count.

“You should fly home now. They’re waiting for you.” He lifted his hands to the sky, offering up a small smile. “I’ve... got someone waiting for me, too!”

The butterfly gave a tentative flap.

“Fly away to where your family is.”

Fwoosh.

The breeze sent the butterfly off, orange and golden hues sent scattering with sunlight. Such a little life it was, piercing its everblue limits.

Ortho watched, waving after the speck. So wild, so lively--a fire in the sky. A flame that refused to die out.

“Good-bye! Good-bye...! Safe travels!” he called.

The wind swept up his voice, carrying it well above the rooftops of Night Raven College. A ghostly giggle joined it, trilling along the underbelly of the butterfly.

I’ll be seeing you soon, Idia nii-chan.

#Idia Shroud #Ortho Shroud #Ignihyde #twisted wonderland imagines #twisted wonderland #twst #twisted wonderland scenarios #angst #spoilers #something no one asked for #disney twisted wonderland #beyond the looking glass #imagine this #twst ortho #twst idia

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cjbolan · 1 year

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Just finished Emily Windsnap and the Falls of Forgotten Island. Aaron and his family are the BEST parts of this story!! For several reasons...

*WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD*

Jeras gave really in-depth exposition about the entire world of this series. We now got interesting lore not just about the sea and merfolk world, but also about the land and human world. I instantly want to know more about Terra Mater, what she looks like, what culture she’s from, what’s her history with Neptune (beyond wanting to gain power through him), etc. I imagine her being like Te Fiti/Te Ka from Moana

Jeras is a very morally ambiguous but ultimately good guy in the end. Like Mr. Beeston. Except he doesn’t do anything awful in this story. He confesses to doing awful things in the past, is immediately remorseful of it, and immediately does everything in his path to make things right. Even risking his life taking no shelter during a natural catastrophe, swimming through rough seas despite his withered human body to Neptune’s chariot, and successfully persuading Neptune to forgive him and shakes hands which ultimately saves everyone.

Jeras has a beautiful character arc. From an angry bitter self-loathing recluse -- though his self-loathing is rightfully due to causing Aurora and Fortuna’s deaths -- to a kind heroic and altruistic man who suddenly has someone to care about. And hence something to live for.

Jeras’ death in the end may be the first sad ending in this series. Even sadder for Emily, that it leads to Aaron deciding to leave her and stay on the titular Forgotten Island.

Aaron FINALLY stands up for himself!!!! He stands up to Jeras which ultimately sways Jeras to help him. He also stands up to Emily after dealing with several books worth of her selfishness, her constantly misreading him, and her impulsive lashing out at him for things he meant no harm by. He does everything I WISH Jake did in Book 4.

Aaron finally becomes his own person. IMO after Book 4 he kinda got reduced to being just Emily’s boyfriend, always described in relation to her and how he’s similar to her. Since their first kiss, this book is the first to emphasize how he and Emily are more different than similar. We see the many ways he’s different from Emily: he’s more prone to motion sickness, more persuasive, he can both calmly and firmly assert authority. The latter 2 traits I think will make him a great leader of Forgotten Island.

Ultimately I think Emily and Aaron’s relationship was pretty cringe -- they’re terrible at communicating with each other, Emily keeps changing her mind about whether she likes him or not -- so I am SO GLAD they essentially broke up in the end. Come to think of it...every fight between them was started by Emily. By her immediately losing her temper on him, just because she misunderstood a kind gesture on his part, and never giving him a chance to explain himself until it’s too late. Emily doesn’t deserve Aaron. Aaron can do so much better.

Aurora finally shows a personality!! Up to this point we’ve known her only as just Neptune’s first/only love. But now we can see WHY Neptune loved her. She was kind, loved the simple things in life (due to her humble origins), loved her family, was a daddy’s girl, valued true love above all else, and strongly opposed marriages of convenience (at the expense of her life).

FURTHER THOUGHTS:

The plot felt a lot like a hodgepodge of all the other books. Just like Book 2 it starts with Emily and company going to a tropical island. Just like Book 3 Aurora’s death is a huge plot point. Just like Book 4 Emily and Aaron have to save some people trapped behind a magic waterfall that only Neptune can stop (and does). Just like Book 5 Emily and Aaron have to swim through a lake and climb a mountain to save the world from a tsunami. Just like Book 6 this book is pretty slow-paced, and only gets really interesting/suspenseful during the last few chapters.

Mary P. FINALLY redeemed herself in my eyes. I’ve complained about her in Book 4. Honestly she’s the reason I hesitated on finishing this book. SOOO happy to see her back to what made me love her as a character! She was again kind, patient, had a fair balance of firmness and gentleness as a parent, affectionate in ways both physical and verbal with her daughter, bravely put herself in dangerous situations for her daughter, protective of Emily yet still able to let Emily go and be independent, stubborn to an extent yet still listened and followed others’ advice without any pushback. Perhaps in the events between Book 4 and Book 7...Mary took much needed time to reflect on herself and realize she’s been way too stubborn. Notice in this book she never flat out said “NO” to anything. She just needed some extra persuasion to say “YES”. It’s just so nice to see her actually LISTEN to and RESPECT her ENTIRE FAMILY for once.

We see for the first time Emily’s dad ACTUALLY WORK WITH HUMANS. Besides Mary and Millie. In the end he’s helping their rescue/clean-up operation. How frigging cool would that have been to see? After several books worth of his friendliness to humans, and his hard efforts at peace between humans and merfolk, this would be a perfect opportunity to see how it all paid off. It’s a perfect book-end to how he’s introduced in Book 1: rescuing humans at sea. And it ties in with how the hotel manager believed in mermaid sightings, even providing underwater cave rooms for them. Did the hotel manager ever meet Jake? Was he surprised at seeing a real live merman before his very eyes? Or did the manager know this day would come so he’s not surprised at all? How would the hotel staff and guests reacting to seeing a merman rescue them all? Would they be surprised? Would they think he’s just a human swimming in a merman costume? Would they point out the fact he’s male and not like most depictions of mermaids? Would some guests feel their erotic mermaid fantasies are ruined by the presence of a male mermaid XD?

There’s much more nuance now to Mary P. and Jake’s parenting. Yes Mary’s arguably the firmer parent and Jake the gentler parent. But Mary is now much more patient, listening to her daughter before making a decision. She doesn’t say “YES” as much as Jake, but she never says “NO” either. In fact she often says “I DON’T KNOW”. As said before, Mary just needs extra persuasion in order to say “YES”. On the flip side, Jake is particularly firm about Shona’s wellbeing. He’s often the one reminding Emily to stick with her and keep her safe. Also nice to see he’s backing up Mary more. He may not use her methods, but he will support them by repeating Mary’s concerns to Emily. Jake is no longer just the “fun parent” who lets Mary do all the worrying. He’s no longer just a Yes-man to Emily. He starts setting more firm boundaries with his Yes’. ( Jake: “All right...but be careful...” “As long as you’re not a burden...”). There’s even a rare moment where they switch roles: Mary’s the chill one not worrying about their daughter, while Jake is the only one acting worried (Jake : “Millie, you’re OK watching Em and Aaron, right?” Emily: “Dad, we don’t need to be watched...”)

How come Mary suddenly can’t go swimming with Jake? At a seaside resort of all places? Didn’t she relearn how to swim JUST to be with him? And didn’t she take scuba lessons JUST to be with him ( Jake: ”she even took sub-aqua lessons so she could join me underwater...”)? I don’t understand why suddenly the humans and merfolk are each off doing their own activities. The whole reason they picked this resort, was to find things humans and merfolk could do together. This book opens with Mary and Jake gushing over snorkeling at the resort. But when they get there, the only thing we see them do together is eat.

Also how would the human hotel guests interact with Shona? Being a kid it’s less likely she’d be mistaken for a mermaid cosplayer. As might happen with Jake. And given her limited experience with humans, I doubt she’d know how to blend in humans and pass as one. Like Jake did when he and Mary met. But then again the whole point was they don’t have to blend in with humans.

I do wonder how/if hotel guests reacted to seeing a bunch of merfolk guests staying with them. Our merfolk heroes have no reason to hide from humans anymore. Heck the humans even pull up in a boat to watch King Neptune save the day. I do love the ending where for the first time, humans as a collective are the heroes.

This book also gave me “Moana” vibes. Where the characters have to save a tropical island from a natural disaster. The solution involves pebbles and a powerful island land goddess (Terra Mater/Te Fiti).

Also Terra Mater’s background is weirdly vague. Unlike Neptune and Njord, who are clearly straight from Greek and Norse mythology...Terra Mater isn’t from any specific mythology or culture at all. That I know of. We’re not even told what she looks like. Does this mean there’s other gods in the Emily Windsnap-verse? Are there fire gods? Wind gods? Heart gods XD?

There’s some very repetitive filler in this book . How many times do Emily and Shona have to fight and make up? How many times does Emily have to describe lengthy paragraphs of her exact same route in and out of the same “death chute” falls? You could make a drinking game out of counting these things XD.

Is there White Saviorism in this book? We know the movie version will place the Forgotten Island off the coast of Africa. And I think their concept art depicts Emily being White. So the Forgotten Islanders are possibly native Africans. If they’re African, and if their saviors Emily and Aaron are White, and Aaron is described in the books with pale skin.... I sensed some icky White Savior vibes (art below is not mine).

My biggest nitpick with this book is in the ending. For a story about people with opposing ideologies seeking common ground, it ends with only one ideology being right. The Forgotten Island is split into 2 groups: one who’d rather flee the island ASAP, the other who’d rather stay and wait for a giant to save them. Guess which group’s ideology saves the day. So much for seeking common ground XD.

Overall this is a good book. 7 books down, 2 to go!

#emily windsnap #emily windsnap and the falls of forgotten island #review #book review #middle grade fiction #middle grade series #middle grade books #liz kessler #emily windsnap movie #official art #concept art

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