#i honestly did not realise it said the f slur

[revolversandlace]

Blemished Silk | Chapter Twelve - By the Devil’s Touch

Chapter Index

Arthur Morgan x f!OC

Mature Rating - 2.8k Words

Warnings & Chapter Tags: Period Typical Rascial Slurs, Panic Attacks, Slow Burn, Angst, f!POV

Summary: Amelia has an unexpected visitor

Scarlett Meadows, March 1899

Both Amelia and Bertha had arrived back from Saint Denis earlier than expected. 

After everything that had gone on in the past few weeks, Amelia craved for an escape away from the Meadows, away from the house, away from it all. 

In the time since the robbery, it hadn’t gone without noticing that Bertha had taken charge of caring for Luke. His wounds, food, just simply to sit and read to him. Amelia supposed the girl had grown quite sweet on him, but regardless, she had worked tirelessly to nurse the man back to health. 

As Luke was doing somewhat better, although not moving around without assistance, Amelia seized the opportunity to take Bertha out with her. 

Of course, the excursion was not entirely selfless and although Amelia more often than not took it upon herself to gift her staff with the occasional flight of fancy; she presumed she would throw up if she spent another day taking care of the business. 

So off gallivanting they went, catching the morning train, spending the journey gossiping, laughing and discussing what they hoped to buy. Whilst Amelia was certain to find a little trinket or two for each of the staff, Bertha was dead set on purchasing a new petticoat she had been saving up for. 

A hair pin, brooch, books, a men’s leather belt as well as a few other small gifts later, the two women had a spot of afternoon tea and made their way back to the estate. 

They both arrived back in high cheer, even if Amelia was slightly tired from the morning. In her mind, as they crossed the bricks towards the entrance, she planned to briefly retire for an hour or two before distributing the favours and returning to whatever errands called for her. 

‘Thank you for today, ma’am,’ Bertha chimed and gave Amelia’s hand a slight squeeze. ‘I didn’t realise how much I needed today!’ The maid laughed as the door opened before them, with Mr Yates on the other side. 

‘Honestly, I think I feel the same,’ Amelia sighed, readjusting the paper bags in her hand. 

Walking into the foyer, Mr Jameson stood at the bottom of the staircase in his usual pose and Amelia’s heart sank. It seemed that, after all, she was not going to get that afternoon's sleep. 

Bertha took the cue, looking between the two as she dismissed herself to the rooms on the left, no doubt to try on her new petticoat. 

‘Dare I ask, Mr Jameson?’ Amelia quipped despondently, as she walked up to the man. 

‘My apologies, ma’am, but you have a guest waiting for you in the parlour,’ he replied, clearly equally displeased with the situation. 

Mr Jameson was a collected man by all measures, but his eyes were always utterly readable. The look he held, as much as he tried to hide it, caused her tea to turn in her stomach. 

‘Who is it?’ Amelia asked curtly. 

‘One of Cornwall’s men,’ he nodded. 

Lord give me strength, Amelia thought to herself as she closed her eyes and drew in a sharp breath. Not only was the man uncalled for, but it was the last thing she wanted to deal with right now. Another worry on top of her already overflowing plate. 

‘Very well,’ she placed the bags on the floor, another thing that would have to wait whilst she dealt with whatever cockroach Leviticus Cornwall had sent her way. ‘Did he mention what it was this time?’ 

She felt the tension in her head, a slow dull thud at her temples. 

‘No, ma’am. But he did say it was urgent, felt it was best to let him wait for you to return,’ Mr Jameson noted, looking towards the floor. 

She was irked with her advisor, why he let the so-called guest in was beyond her, but she was sure that he would not have done so without good reason. 

‘Please ask for one of the girls to put my belongings in the study. I will tend to our guest,’ Amelia said, chewing at the inside of her lip. She doubted it was anything promising, as she felt herself gearing up with yet another confrontation about her production. 

‘Would you like any company, ma’am?’ he asked, as she turned towards the parlour. 

‘No, thank you. I think I can handle this alone,’ she said under her breath as her heels clipped across the marble flooring. 

Opening the door with little courtesy, the man had already taken a seat, a cigar in hand. She had little hopes for his chivalry as he remained seated, his foot balancing on his knee like he owned the damn place. 

‘I would apologise for keeping you waiting,’ Amelia said as she strode towards him, her chin high and eyes filled with contempt. ‘However, as you can imagine, I was not aware you would be calling.’ 

The man laughed. It was not a representative she had spoken with before, and he made little effort to get up to introduce himself. 

So be it, she thought. Manners were a two-way avenue, and if he was to be impertinent, then Amelia would gladly return the kindness. 

He looked at her with shrewd eyes and a mean mouth, nothing she didn’t expect, but there was something about him that was different from the others. Although he was dressed in refinery, he did not look quite like the others. They were often businessmen, accountants and such sent with facts and figures to try and convince Amelia into selling whichever southern asset Cornwall fancied. This guest, however, did not have the same air. He had the air of a bully. 

‘Miss Amelia Edwards, although I’m sure you already know that,’ she mentioned, sticking out her hand. 

He stood slowly, not once taking his eyes off of her, and he did it in such a way that Amelia did not like it in the slightest. However, this was not the first time one of these men tried to make her feel uncomfortable. 

She held her ground. As he took her hand, he gave it more than a firm squeeze around her bones. It caused a sharp pain, but not one she pulled away from. His eyes remained firmly on him as she gave him a sickly sweet smile. 

‘Mr Cooper,’ the man said with an accent she did not recognise either. He certainly wasn’t from the south nor the east coast, ‘a pleasure to meet you.’

His voice was like acid, corrosive and lingering as everything about him repulsed her. 

‘So, what is it this time?’ Amelia asked as she took to the seat opposite him, ‘what exactly is it that Cornwall is after now?’ 

Mr Cooper laughed, a low chortle, as he took another drag from his cigar. 

‘They said you were spirited,’ he said, blowing the thick smoke out the side of his mouth. 

‘Mr Cooper, I do believe you are here to ask me something on behalf of your employer, not to comment on my demeanour.’ Amelia was running out of what little patience she had as she continued to eye him. 

‘Not asking,’ he said hoarsely, his eyes as narrow as a mole as his gaze traced up and down at her. 

She nearly wretched at the sight. How dare he come into her home and attempt to make her feel uneasy in the weakest of ways. The only way men know how to deal with women half of the time. She kept quiet. She wasn’t about to let him intimidate her now she was prepared to show off just why she had built such a reputation over the years.

‘Miss, you’ve got two options, way I see it,’ he said, leaning forward, ‘sell your assets, or the north will be acquire through some legal means, then we take the south, your wool, your lumber, your darkies and savages, then your maids, your home - until you have nothing left.’ 

She felt the anger rising so quickly inside of her, she nearly went blind. Amelia could feel herself shaking as she grit her teeth together. Every part of her felt hot as her body screamed at her to lash forward to this godforsaken animal, but she remained impassive, waiting until he had run out of words. 

‘Now, which would you prefer?’ he asked again, as if she had not heard him. ‘Mr Cornwall has a lot more resources, more money, and he’s running out of patience,’ he smiled, his smug grin reaching from ear to ear, ‘don’t be silly now, girl, sell before it’s too late.’ 

She wondered if he would dare speak to her in the same manner if Mr Jameson had accompanied her, but clearly the man gave little inclination towards any sort of respect. 

‘Mr Cooper, it’s clear you are not here for negotiations.’ She would not be threatened, nor would she back down. Amelia shuffled back in her seat, resuming a much more casual position. If he was to try and torment her, then any sort of gesture that it was working would not work in her favour. ‘I will tell you what I told the gentleman before you, and before him. I am not selling, not to Mr Cornwall or anyone else, for that matter.’ 

He brought his thumb to his lips, flicking his tongue across it as the fat end of the cigar remained nestled. 

‘Well, you seem very set against it,’ he said with a snide chuckle.

‘I am, Mr Cooper, but I would assume that means that you have some sort of proof that Cornwall has a legitimate claim to my assets,’ Amelia said sharply, ‘You have no legal claim to any of my land, production or anything else. If you wish to come into my home and act like a thug, I assure you, this will not go as well as you and your employer hope it will.’ 

He laughed again; the drawl dripping heavily through the air. 

‘Well, ain’t you a little firecracker,’ his snide mouth twisted, ‘we will wipe your business off of the map. Mr Cornwall is a determined man, a man who gets what he wants, you see.’ He removed his gaze from her, looking around the room paying a bit too much attention to anything his eyes landed on. 

‘What exactly do you want, Mr Cooper? Are you here to threaten me? To frighten me? Or are you simply here to make me feel inferior? Because if it’s the latter, then I can guarantee that won’t work, not with me.’

She knew it was an intimidation tactic, much like everything else he was doing. His eyes lazily travelled back towards her.  

‘Mr Cornwall is a family man, a strong American business much like the other characters of the south. You are and have been an unsavoury presence here. Mr Cornwall wants to restore the values of the south - of America.’ His voice was thick with contempt, even though he paid her as much mind as a fly.

‘If Mr Cornwall feels so strongly about this matter,’ Amelia said as she stood, ‘I suggest that you pass onto him I would like to meet with him directly. Let us get this matter sorted once and for all, shall we?’ Amelia tried to remain as polite as humanly possible in the circumstance and though she was not exactly skilled in manipulation, she hoped it was enough to keep Mr Cooper and anyone else from Cornwall Industries interested in easy profits. 

The man stood, stubbing out his cigar in the silver ashtray on the coffee table as Amelia gestured towards the door. Taking his time, he strode past her, opening the parlour doors into the foyer. 

She saw Mr Jameson remaining where he was before. She gave him a swift nod over her shoulder. 

‘I will be sure to pass on your message,’ he commented as Amelia signalled to Mr Yates to open the entrance door. 

‘Thank you, Mr Cooper,’ Amelia said, following her guest out onto the porch. 

The sun still remained nestled behind the wispy clouds above as two pigeons fought in the treeline. Mr Cooper turned to her, tipping his derby bowler towards her. 

‘And to you,’ he took a step closer to her, his eyes directly meeting with hers, ‘Miss Fairfax.’ 

Her heart stopped. Or at least she thought it did before it started to pump ferociously in her ears. It was a name she had not been called for many, many years. A name, which there was no way he could have known, and yet he did. How?

It was not a pleasant feeling. The urge to turn around and ignore his existence was almost overpowering. Yet, the resolve within her wouldn’t allow it.

Perhaps she misheard him. She was tired, after all, but the look he gave her, like a cat with a dying mouse, told her otherwise. 

‘You must have mistaken me for someone else,’ she tried to compose herself as calmly and as evenly paced as possible. She could feel bile in her gut and everything seemed to crash around her. The past ten years of her life had dissipated into a shallow nothingness. 

The man merely chuckled, as if she was making a joke. He cocked his eyebrow as he reached into the inside of his jacket, pulling out a small card. 

‘Perhaps,’ he drawled, flicking the card in his hand, ‘write to us when you’re fit and ready. Don’t leave it too long, though.’ He gave her a wink as he handed her the card and stepped off of the porch and to what she assumed was his horse on the hitching post. ‘One more thing,’ he turned as Amelia wanted nothing more than to shoot him where he stood, ‘your father. He sends his regards.’ 

He had won. She knew it, and so did he. He gave her another smarmy smile as Mr Cooper climbed onto his horse as rode off. 

Amelia felt as though her entire throat had closed up and that she would feint. Her hand rose to her chest as she leaned against the railing, watching the man disappear from her view.

‘Miss Edwards! Miss Edwards, are you alright?!’ Mr Yates appeared beside her, his concern evident.

She nodded, but her head felt as if it were going to burst as she swallowed back the nausea building in her stomach. Her hands shook as she put them on the railings, allowing her a moment to gather herself before she turned to face him.

‘I... Of course,’ she tried to smile at the elderly man, as he clutched at her shoulders, ‘it’s just been a frightfully long day.’

Swallowing back the thick saliva that had formed at the back of her gums, she stood, composing herself.

’Come along, Miss Edwards, we’ll be having dinner soon.’ He guided her back into the house as Mr Jameson came rushing to her. 

‘Please, gentleman, don’t fuss,’ she waved her hand dismissively as her vision returned to a more stable state.

‘Ma’am, what happened? What -‘ Mr Jameson enquired, taking her arm and guiding her back inside with the help of Mr Yates. 

That last thing Amelia wanted right now was a commotion, especially when her mind was still reeling. She was so sure that her uncle had been careful. 

It had been ten years and not so much as a sniff or a whisper to allude to the fact that, in another lifetime, Amelia was someone else. Why now, after all this time, did her father even care? 

Had he been looking for her all this time? What had changed? 

Amelia took a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves as her stomach twisted inside of her. 

‘I think I’m going to retire to the study,’ Amelia said, shaking off the two men. ‘I just took a bit of a turn was all.’ 

She nodded towards both of them as she made her way upstairs, practically running through the corridor to get to her study. 

Closing the door abruptly behind her, she went to the shelving on her side, pouring herself a large drink as her fingers gripped around the edge. 

Swallowing in hard, deep gulps, the scotch stung her throat as it burned all the way down, her stomach almost rejecting it as the liquor hit it. 

Wiping her mouth with shaking hands, she poured another, retreating weakly to her desk. 

She knew it was only a matter of time before Mr Jameson would be held off with vague excuses and she was never fond of lying, but this was something entirely different. 

She had built a new life for herself, away from the clutches of everything she left behind. Everything now was back on the line, on a single, delicate thread that promised to snag and break. 

If there was anything she knew of her father, aside from his cruelty, it was that he was nothing but determined. 

#rdr2 #rdr2 fanfic #red dead redemption 2 #red dead redemption 2 fanfic #arthur morgan x original female character #fanfic #original female character #amelia edwards #blemished silk #available on ao3

[figdays]

Froggy Earring Hanger // bunhugs

#bunhugs #jewellery hanger #frog #acnh #animal crossing #earrings holder #earrings hanger #jewellery holder #i honestly did not realise it said the f slur #and i dont think the shop owner did either #😭😭

[fantastic-bby]

The Diamond Support

Pairing: (F)Reader x Bang Chan

Word count: 8.2k

Genre: Twitch Streamer!Bang Chan || College AU || Fluff || A bit of crack || It kinda feels like a Cinderella spin off, but I don’t know anymore

Summary: When Chan gets extremely drunk during a college party, he ends up playing a game of League of Legends with a girl he doesn’t know. He wakes up the next morning hungover and with almost no recollection of what happened the night before. He only realises that there’s a new summoner name in his friends’ list while he’s doing a stream and he’s determined to find out who ‘The Diamond Support’ is...

Warnings: -

Masterlist

“Aaaaaand that’s all for today! Thank you for joining me today, and thank you for all of the donations, they are very appreciated.” He clapped his hands together, trying his best to read the many passing comments. “I hope maybe I can invite more of you guys to play with me next time. Bye guys!” Chan waved as he turned the stream off. He leaned back in his chair and took his headphones off, hanging them around his neck as he ran his hand through his messy blond hair.

Chan looked at the calendar hanging on the wall of the room; the next day marked his third year as a streamer. Honestly, it didn’t seem that much of a special day for him anymore. Chan found himself lacking enthusiasm with his streams with every passing day. He didn’t exactly know why he was becoming less and less invested in streaming. He loved gaming, he loved talking to his subscribers but he found himself feeling bored during streams nowadays. He had tried playing new games, but nothing seemed to fill the void he had in his heart.

He pushed himself away from his desk to allow himself room to stretch his arms and legs out. At first, he blamed it on stress, but Chan managed to set up a schedule that would allow him to finish his assignments and study with enough time to stream for at least one game of League of Legends or PUBG. Although the work was increasing, Chan was still able to stream and study comfortably - or maybe it wasn’t as comfortable as it used to be. He used the money he earned from streaming to buy himself an apartment and upgrade his crappy laptop setup into a proper desktop; dual monitors, a comfortable gaming chair, and the best CPU he could afford. 

To Chan, gaming was still a hobby. He never saw it as a job because he knew that if he saw gaming as a job, he would start hating it. Thus why he never wanted to become a professional gamer despite the fact that he had the skills to join a pro team. Chan was high ranking in all the games he could play; Diamond in League of Legends, Divine in Dota 2, and Elite in PUBG. But, there was something about gaming that he could never see himself devoting his entire being to. 

The fact that he was a streamer surprised no one; he was an excellent gamer. What surprised the people around  him was his choice in majoring in music composition. His parents knew he loved making music, but they never really expected him to study it. They assumed Chan was choosing a more technical major - a more gaming major. When he had come out saying he wanted to learn music and not something game related, his parents were surprised but they supported him nonetheless. 

“Chris,” The door opened and Chan ended up jumping in his chair from the sudden intrusion.

“Dude, knock.” He scolded as he turned to see his flatmate poking his head into the gaming room. 

“Do you wanna go to a party tonight?” Felix completely ignored the fact that he didn’t knock and left the older male to stare at him for a moment. 

“Depends on whose party it is.” He shrugged as he turned back to one of his monitors. 

“Minho hyung.” He stated. “He’s celebrating something and he said it’s just going to be a small gathering.” Chan took note of Felix’s smooth transition from English to Korean; he was getting more fluent as the days went by.

“Small gathering?” Chan turned to him and cocked an eyebrow. “We both know that’s a lie.” He chuckled. 

“That’s what I said, but Minho hyung said he promises it’s a small gathering this time.” Felix added. Chan looked around his bedroom for a moment. He had time to spare. He finished all of his major assignments and the ones he hadn’t finished yet weren’t due until Monday. 

“Sure.”

»»————-　　————-««

“Small gathering, my ass.” Chan grumbled as he tried to squeeze his way through the crowd of dancing college students while holding onto Felix’s hand so as to not lose the poor boy. The two of them managed to find Jisung sitting on the kitchen counter of the house. 

“Where’s Minho hyung?” Felix questioned as he sat himself beside the performing arts major. Jisung looked around the crowded house - his house - before shrugging. 

“He was here a minute ago. I knew I shouldn’t have agreed to his ‘small gathering’.” He grumbled. All he wanted to do that night was have a good time with his friends. Even though they knew Minho tended to invite more than just his friends, Jisung - along with his housemates Changbin, Jeongin and Hyunjin - still agreed to having the ‘small gathering’. “Have a drink. It’s supposed to be a fruit punch, but it either has tequila, vodka, or both.” 

“What is he celebrating anyway?” Chan asked as he sat himself on the edge of the counter. 

“Something about passing a test he thought he would fail…? It was really vague, I think he just wanted to have a party. It’s been a while since we actually let him have a party, so it’s understandable, I guess.” Jisung told the two. Chan looked around the crowd, finally able to spot Minho in the middle of the crowd dancing with a handful of sorority girls and frat guys that he was friends with. 

“You know, when I first met Minho, I never thought he was a party guy.” Chan chuckled. “Look at him now. He’s practically friends with the entire university.” 

“He’s the embodiment of a tsundere.” Felix chuckled as well as he followed his gaze. Minho locked eyes with Felix and he seemed to perk up even more as he made his way through the crowd and over to his friends. 

“Hey! You guys made it!” He cheered as he hugged the both of them. 

“What are we celebrating, Minho hyung?” Felix questioned when he pulled away. 

“I got the job as a backup dancer!” Minho announced and his three friends immediately lit up. 

“Oh my god, dude! Congratulations!” Chan cheered. 

“That makes this party totally acceptable!” Jisung laughed as he finally poured himself a cup of the spiked punch. “I thought you were just bored.” He confessed. 

“I told you it was something huge.” Minho shrugged as he watched them each pick up their own solo cups. To be fair, his exact words were ‘Let’s have a party. I passed the test’. “I wanted this party because I know you guys are stressed. Let loose, go wild, whatever happens, I’ll settle it, okay?” He turned more towards Chan and patted him on the back before disappearing into the crowd once again. Chan had mentioned his growing stress to Minho, so it made sense that he was directing it more to the streamer.

“I guess partying once in a while wouldn’t hurt.” Felix shrugged before he disappeared into the crowd to follow Minho. Jisung turned to Chan and they both shrugged before downing their drinks. It didn’t take long for Chan to get drunk. He was a lightweight and everyone knew that. By ten o’clock, he found himself so drunk, he could barely hold his head up as he conversed with a girl that sober Chan would know he had never met before. 

“So, I guess I’m like a reeeaaaaallyyyyy good gamer.” Chan slurred as he talked to the girl, his entire Korean vocabulary slowly going out the door. “I’m diamond in League of Legends and I’m an AD carry.” He continued. 

“Are you? I’m a diamond support.” You raised an eyebrow, amused by his messy mix of Korean and English. You were obviously not drunk at all, but to Chan, he could barely tell the difference due to his intoxicated state. 

“I’m Chris. Some people call me Chan, some people call me Chris.” He introduced himself and extended his hand to you. You shook his hand and laughed when he stumbled out of his seat. “I can prove I’m a good AD carry.” He furrowed his brows. “These guys have a gaming room. Let’s play a game together.” He suggested. 

“Sure, but it can’t be ranked. I’m not losing any LP because of you.” You joked as you followed him. He stumbled around, forcing you to let him lean on you until you reached the gaming room and sat down at two of the computers. The housemates weren’t making as much as Chan would on his own time, but they were still working enough to afford renting the house together as well as decorating it and living comfortably. 

“Alright, you’re a support? Support me. Let’s lane together.” Chan mumbled out as he squinted his eyes, the alcohol making it hard for him to see or know what was going on. You simply laughed and watched as he tried to make his way around the game. You knew he wouldn’t be able to play properly, but he was cute and you weren’t going to pass up the chance to play a game with Chan.

As expected, the game was a complete failure. Chan looked like he could make out what was happening on screen and he was completely feeding the enemy team, but you simply let him, laughing as you watched him play and did your best to support him.

Throughout the game, it had somehow processed in his head that you were his best friend and he ended up being even more of a mess before. Chan’s mistake for thinking you were someone he knew, made him more comfortable and loose. "You're really pretty, support girl. I like you." He slurred. 

"Thanks, Chris. You're cute, too." You chuckled, blaming his sudden affection towards a complete stranger on his intoxicated state. You watched as he slowly leaned his head against the table. 

“I think I’m a bit sleepy, support girl.” He mumbled out softly. You hadn’t exactly told him your name and he resorted to calling you ‘support girl’ - which you had no problem with. 

“You should rest a bit, Chris.” You told him gently. 

“I don’t understand you.” He grumbled as he turned to you. Why weren’t you surprised Korean wasn’t processing in his mind?

“I’ll get your flatmate, Felix, was it? I’ll get him to bring you home.” You told him in English before leaving the game room and returning to the party downstairs to find Minho. You knew he was friends with Chan, and Minho was the only other person you knew personally. “Minho!” You called out as you pushed yourself into the centre of the living room where Minho was. He turned around to see you and he smiled. 

“(Y/n)! What’s up?” 

“Do you know who Felix is? Chris is upstairs and he looks like he might either pass out or throw up on your computers!” You were forced to yell due to how loud the music was. 

“Felix? He’s right here!” Minho pulled Felix up from the side but the silver haired boy was pretty much as drunk as Chan was. “I don’t think he can bring Chan home, though. I’ll get someone else to take him home, don’t worry!” He reassured you, but you didn’t know how you felt about leaving Chan in the gaming room for any longer. 

“Do you know where he lives? I can take them home!” You suggested and Minho eyed you for a moment. 

“Why? You don’t usually care about people you don’t know.” His head cocked to the side, a smug look on his face, but you simply slapped his shoulder to get whatever idea he had out of his mind.

“If I don’t take him home now, you can say goodbye to your Razor setup!” You warned, snickering when you saw Minho’s face drop. His hands immediately pushed Felix into your arms.

“I’ll text you their address. Don’t let him throw up on my computer!” Minho yelled as he watched you pull Felix out of the crowd and to a more quiet area. 

“Who are you?” Felix slurred as he looked up at you in confusion. 

“I’m going to get you and Chris home. Just sit here patiently and I’ll go get Chris.” You stated as you sat him down at the foot of the stairs before quickly making your way back to the gaming room. You knew better than to let Chan throw up all over the computers and you were more scared of Minho than you’d like to admit. You stepped into the gaming room to see him on the verge of passing out; his head resting on the desk with his eyes half lidded. 

“Chris, I’m taking you home.” You told him gently and he nodded as he pulled himself off of the chair, stumbling in the process. You caught him before he could fall over and he leaned himself against you. 

“You’re like a real support, but you’re carrying me instead.” He snorted and you giggled. You knew Chan was adorable, but you never thought he would be this adorable. You had always seen Chan around campus whenever you were on your way to class. You were a business major, meaning you had no classes together at all. You weren’t the most extroverted person either, but somehow, Minho had pushed himself into your life when you joined the dance club.

Minho was an interesting character. He didn’t seem like the outgoing and extroverted type, but he really was one. He was friends with most of the university students and he had even managed to make friends with you; a girl who didn’t care about making friends in university and someone who just wanted to graduate so you could get on with your life. 

You were also one of the many students that were aware of Chan’s streams. He was quite locally famous because of his high ranks and his enthusiasm. You were one of his viewers, but he didn’t have to know that. He also didn’t have to know that you had been harbouring a small crush on him; a crush that you were hiding from every living being on the planet.

You felt like Chan was out of your league. He was handsome, he was athletic, he was an absolute sweetheart, and he was a hell of a good gamer. You decided against trying to get to know him, scared that he would somehow discover your crush on him and would end up rejecting you. You didn’t have time for rejection. You just wanted to graduate without any unwanted events - which was why you figured it would be better that he didn’t remember your name.

“Chris! This random girl said she’s taking us home.” Felix whined out in English when he saw you dragging his flatmate down the stairs. You giggled when he did - he seemed too drunk to converse in Korean as well. Chan had also given up on trying to speak Korean, the both of them breaking out into their pure Australian accents. 

“It’s okay, Felix. She’s my support.” Chan slurred, waving his hand at Felix’s whining. 

“Let’s go, Felix.” You helped him stand up and fortunately, he wasn’t as drunk as Chan which meant he could actually walk on his own. Unfortunately, Chan had to lean his entire weight onto you so as to not fall and slam his face onto the ground. You guide the two out of the house, bidding Minho goodbye, and begin your journey dragging home the two drunk students back to their apartment. 

Felix had caught on to the fact that Chan was calling you ‘support girl’ and that was what he was calling you as well. “Look! Support girl! There’s a puppy!” Felix announced excitedly as he ran towards the puppy. By the way he ran, you thought he had sobered up, but instead, you watched as he tripped over a bush and face planted into someone’s garden.

“Oh my god,” You grimaced. “Chris, I’m gonna set you down here. Don’t go anywhere.” You sat Chan onto the ground and he listened, but you didn’t think it was because he wanted to. You were pretty sure if he tried, he would end up being a hazard to himself as well as the world around him. You quickly made your way to Felix and helped the silver haired Aussie stand up on his feet. 

“Support girl, there’s a puppy over there.” He whined and pointed in the direction of the puppy. Your eyes followed to where his finger was pointing and you had to stifle your laughter when you saw what he was pointing at. 

“Felix, that’s not a puppy. It’s a rock.” You chuckled as you helped him stand. “Can you walk on your own?” You questioned warily when you saw him stumble. 

“I’m fineeee. I’m not that drunk.” He nodded and started walking towards Chan. You had to conclude he couldn’t because he tripped - again. This time into Chan. The older male let out a yell when Felix fell into him and you could only shake your head in amusement as you made your way over to them. The journey back to their apartment was filled with continuous stumbling as Felix kept tripping and Chan laughing at him whenever he did. 

“Support girl!” Felix called out and you stopped walking, causing Chan to stop as well since he was leaning on you. “What’s your name?” He questioned. 

“If I tell you, you guys wouldn’t even remember when you wake up, so it’s okay.” You chuckled as you urged him to continue walking. He obliged. 

“Hey, support girl,” He called out again and you responded with a hum. “Why is the sky blue?” Felix questioned. 

“That’s a dumb question, Lix.” Chan mumbled out softly, his head against your shoulder. 

“It has something to do with light.” You shrugged. Felix seemed to find the answer acceptable because he didn’t ask any more questions of the sky. Instead, he started asking about gaming. 

“What games do you play, support girl?” He questioned. 

“I play a few. League of Legends is my favourite, but I play PUBG and CS:GO sometimes.” You hummed out. 

“Are you ranked?” Felix questioned further. 

“I only play ranked in League. I’m a diamond.” You told him. 

“Wow!” He exclaimed excitedly and turned around to skip towards you. “That’s such a high rank! Chris is diamond, too!” You giggled at the way his eyes sparkled with wonder as he looked at you. Alcohol really made everything more amazing to him, it seemed. 

“We played a game together. That’s how I know Chris.” You explained. 

“She’s really good, Felix.” Chan piped in softly. You turned to face him and you saw the way he was looking at you. The corners of his eyes were crinkled as he smiled. "We should hang out more, you’re really pretty.” He added. You felt your face heat up, a faint blush growing on your cheeks. 

“You’re blushing!” Felix gasped. “Chris, she’s blushing!” He pointed out. 

“She’s not blushing, Lix. She’s probably just tipsy.” Chan shook his head before leaning his head on your shoulder once again. He lifts his head for a second to see Felix trip over - yet another - rock, his entire body falling forward and hitting the concrete with a thud. Chan bellowed with laughter.

“Don’t laugh at me!” Felix whined as he picked himself off of the ground.

“Hey, we’re at your building.” You pointed out, grabbing their attention. You followed the directions that Minho had sent to you and got the two into the lift, pressing the tenth floor as per Minho’s instructions. Felix’s energy was drained in a flash. He was leaning against the walls of the lift and closed his eyes as though he was about to fall asleep. “Stay awake, Felix. We’re almost at your place.” You waved your hand in front of his face and his eyes shot open. 

“Just a bit more?” He questioned and you nodded. 

“Just a bit more.” The doors opened to their floor and you brought them to their apartment, pressing in the code that Minho had sent to you. The lock opened with a beep and you pulled the door open, Felix immediately making his way to his bedroom while you dragged Chan to his. 

“How’d we get to my bedroom?” Chan questioned with furrowed brows as he looked around. 

“I brought you here, Chris. Get some rest.” You laid him down on his bed, tucking him in gently. 

“Goodnight, support girl.” He mumbled out softly as he pulled his blanket up to his chin and watched you with soft eyes. You smiled as you left his room, turning around to see him fast asleep already. 

“Goodnight, Chris.” You wished softly before you left their apartment.

»»————-　　————-««

When Chan woke up, the first thing he noticed was the sound of what could only be Felix tripping over their living room couch. The second thing he noticed was the headache that was pounding in his skull. The night was a complete blur to him as he looked around his bedroom. Wait, how did he even get home? He couldn’t remember what happened after he was dancing with Minho. Chan pulled himself out of bed and out into the kitchen where Felix was making coffee.

“Good morning.” Felix greeted him groggily. Chan responded with a hum and sat at the counter as he rubbed his temples. 

“How did we get back to our apartment?” He questioned. Felix turned around and stared at him for a moment. 

“Uhh, I think someone dragged us home.” He shrugged, his mind still trying to remember exactly who brought them home. 

“I feel sorry for them, then. We’re a handful when we’re drunk.” Chan chuckled. Felix laughed in agreement as he placed a mug of coffee in front of Chan. 

“I hope they didn’t suffer too much.” He joked as he sat beside his flatmate. The two sat together in silence, hoping the coffee would help ease their hangovers. Chan took a quick shower after he finished his coffee before returning to his bedroom, ready to start his stream while Felix ordered take out for lunch. 

“Good afternoon, morning, evening, night, whatever time it is for you guys. I’m a little bit hungover, but I’ll be able to get through today.” He greeted through the screen once his stream was on. “Today is a special day - some of you may know this - but today marks my third year since I started streaming. Whooo!” He cheered, reading a few of the comments congratulating him and cheering along with him. “For today, I’m going to play a few games, but I’ll start with PUBG. Hopefully, it’s a lucky day for me and I’ll be able to survive throughout the entire game.” 

With that, Chan began his stream. His games were going smoothly. He was honestly having a great time due to his win streak. He was interrupted halfway when Felix handed him a bag of kimchi fried rice. 

“This is my flatmate, everyone. His name is Felix.” Chan introduced as he spooned some rice into his mouth. Felix waved awkwardly to the camera before leaving his flatmate to return to his stream. His stream was going smoothly as he passed the second hour. It was when he saw a new friend in his League of Legends that he was suddenly hit with the memories of the night before. 

“Woah,” He leaned back in his chair. Chan was hit with the memory of him trying to play League while drunk, the presence of an unknown person playing with him. “Hold on a minute, guys. I just remembered something.” He muttered out when he caught a glimpse of comments asking if he was okay. He went through his match history, seeing the defeat from the night before. 

Chan looked to the comments before deciding that he should just continue with his stream before diving into trying to figure out who played with him the night before. So, he continued. He played a few games, his winning streak still blessing his gameplay, and he finished the stream feeling satisfied with his match history. 

Though, he still wanted to figure out who ‘The Diamond Support’ was. He decided against giving out your account name to his viewers, not wanting random people to start sending you friend requests. He clicked on the profile and as the name implied: it was a diamond ranked support main. Chan looked through the match details. The match started at 10:30 - that meant he was still at Minho’s party since he knew that he wasn’t using his computer. 

The image of him looking up at you while he felt so much adoration flashed across his mind. He remembered you dragging him home, his head on your shoulder as you tried to babysit both him and Felix. Then, Chan felt embarrassment wash over. You're really pretty, support girl. I like you. He let out a long and whiny groan as he slammed his forehead onto the desk. Why did he have to be so embarrassing when he was drunk? 

Chan needed to find you. He needed to know who you were. There was something about you that was pulling him towards you, but all he had was your summoner name. You were most likely a student - Minho may be friends with everyone, but it was unlikely that he would invite a random stranger who wasn’t a student to a college party. Chan wanted to know who you were and he ended up sending you a message asking whether you were free for a game. 

What Chan wasn't aware of was the fact that your cat pushed your laptop off of your desk, sending it to the ground and deeming it unusable. You weren't able to finish your assignments without using the computers at the library and you weren't able to open your League account. 

Sunday rolled by and Chan was sitting in front of his desk, staring at your summoner name. There was no reply and you still weren’t coming online. He assumed you were busy. College had a habit of sucking the life and meaning out of the souls of students, and maybe you just didn’t have time to come online. 

Monday came by and you had to come online eventually. Chan hoped that if he wandered around campus, he would be able to bump into you. Therefore, he dragged Felix around campus, hoping you’d cross paths. 

“Dude, where are we going?” Felix questioned as they made their way to the main office. 

“Something’s wrong with one of my applications.” Chan shrugged as he pushed open the door. He wasn’t exactly lying. There was something wrong with his TA application and he had to fix it at the main office. His graduation was coming up, and he decided that working as a TA for a while would be a good start to his life after studying.

“Are you sure we’re not just going to sit around and wait for that support to show up?” He cocked an eyebrow when Chan’s movements seemed to falter. 

“Just wait out here. I’ll be out in a bit.” He dodged the question, gesturing to the chairs and Felix let out a sigh as he sat down. Felix looked around at the people that were going in and out of the office, his arms raising above him to and his legs stretching out in front of him. His eyes were closed until he felt something hit one of his feet and a loud thud followed. 

Felix shot his eyes open to see you on the ground, the binders and files in your hands scattered all around you. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” You muttered out as you scrambled to pick them up. He immediately crouched down beside you and started to help you with the files. 

“Shit, I’m so sorry.” He quickly apologised as he picked them up. You were too panicked to realise it was Felix even when he handed you a few of the binders. 

“No, it’s okay. I was rushing.” You shook your hand as you took the binders. “Thank you.” You quickly thanked him before leaving. Felix was about to call out for you when he realised he didn’t know your name. As he sat back down, he couldn’t help but feel as though he had met you before - he just didn’t know when. He racked his brain to try and figure out why you were so familiar. Just as he seemed to almost touch the memory of you, Chan stepped out of the office. 

“Alright, let’s head to the cafe.” Chan urged and Felix obliged, the two of them making their way out of the main office and towards the in-campus cafe. Felix couldn’t get you out of his mind. Where had he seen you? He thought about it as he walked with Chan. He honestly felt bad that he couldn’t remember you. “You okay?” Chan’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts. 

“Huh?” He blinked at Chan a couple of times. “Oh, I accidentally tripped this girl at the office. She looked really familiar, but I don’t ever remember meeting her.” He simpered. 

“Maybe she’s in one of your classes. You don’t exactly mingle with any of your classmates that much.” He suggested. Felix exhaled softly. Maybe you were one of his classmates. He didn’t talk to the other culinary students unless he had to. He continued to think about it silently as they approached the cafe when it hit him. 

Oh fuck.

“Uh, chan hyung,” He started and Chan responded with a hum. “I think she was your support.” Chan’s movements made a halt and he slowly turned to Felix. 

“Did you ask her for her name?” He questioned. 

“She looked like she was in a rush.” Felix confessed softly. Chan stared at him with an unreadable expression. “I don’t even think she knew who she was bumping into!” He defended but his flatmate still didn’t reply. Felix wasn’t wrong. You were in such a rush to deliver the documents that you didn’t even realise it was Felix you had bumped into. Chan walked away from Felix wordlessly and he let out a whine in response. “Hyung! It’s not like you won’t meet her eventually. She’ll have to get onto League at some point!” He whined as he chased after his flatmate.

Felix realised after they left the cafe exactly what was going on. Chan was waiting for you to magically appear by wandering around the campus. They had visited almost every building and shop on campus when Chan decided to stop at the campus’s centre fountain. 

“Chris, I don’t think she’s just going to suddenly show up.” Felix reasoned as they sat at the bench in front of the fountain. “And I know for a fact that you didn’t sleep last night.” He added. Chan let out a soft sigh. 

Felix was right. Chan couldn’t sleep that night because he had an assignment due at eight a.m. on Monday. He had to pull an all nighter and only managed to sleep at nine. Even then, he got up at ten to head to the office. He was functioning on one hour of sleep, and Felix knew if he didn’t get any rest soon, Chan would most likely collapse. “Come on - if she doesn’t come online by tonight, we can ask Minho hyung if he’s ever played League with her.” He suggested and Chan nodded silently. 

»»————-　　————-««

"She still hasn't said anything?" Felix questioned. 

"She hasn't even come online since that night." Chan sighed and leaned back onto the couch. The two were spending their Tuesday night binge watching Brooklyn 99 because Felix wanted to help take his mind off of you. 

"What are you gonna do if she doesn’t come online at all?" He glanced over at the blond male. 

"I guess I'll try looking for her around campus again. She's probably friends with Minho, so maybe I could find her through him." He shrugged. Despite his inability to remember much of what happened, Chan remembered feeling so much excitement and comfort when he played with you. Even while being dragged home, he felt so safe with you by his side. 

Chan met up with Minho the next day in the library, hoping that maybe his outgoing friend could help him figure who you were. 

"The Diamond Support? Sorry, hyung, but I don't play League of Legends." Minho shook his head. 

"Really? You don't know anyone whose summoner name is The Diamond Support?" Chan questioned and he responded with another shake of his head. 

"Try asking Jeongin. He's part of the gaming club and he plays League almost every night." Minho suggested. 

"Is he at the house?" 

"Jeongin's with his girlfriend." He stated. 

"Jeongin has a girlfriend?" Chan questioned incredulously and Minho nodded. 

"She's a med student. According to him, she's going to take pediatrics." He told him. 

"Makes sense. Jeongin's all about kids." He simpered. "Do you know anyone else who's in the gaming club that could help? I don’t wanna disturb him if he’s with his girlfriend." Minho let out a hum as he thought about it before he snapped his fingers. 

"You could try asking Seungmin! He's part of the gaming club, too." Minho suggested. "I'm not sure what his schedule is, but he might be able to help you. He usually hangs around the park since he's always taking pictures, you could check if he's there." He added. 

"Alright, thanks, Minho." Chan left the library and headed towards the park. It was understandable why all the photography students hung around the area since it always seemed to be the most photogenic spot no matter what season it was. 

It didn’t take him long to find Seungmin. He was usually under the same cherry blossom tree, taking pictures of the animals around him. Chan never really knew why it was always the same tree. Whenever he would ask, Seungmin would shrug and reply with a ‘it always has the best view’. Chan never saw much difference, but he trusted that Seungmin could. He was always able to find the best places to take pictures. 

Chan spotted him crouched under said tree, his camera to his face and his lens aimed towards a squirrel in front of him. Chan waited patiently - not wanting to frustrate the photography student - until the squirrel scurried up a tree and Seungmin stood up to look at the photo. 

"Seungmin, can I talk to you?" He questioned. Seungmin turned around, his features lighting up and a small smile curling his lips when he realised who it was. 

"What's up?" He greeted as he sat on the grass, patting the spot beside him. Chan obliged, sitting himself beside the young photography student.

"You're in the gaming club, right?" Chan started and Seungmin perked up further at the mention of his club. 

“Are you finally thinking of joining the club? Hyung, if you join, we could start a team that could make it to nationals!” He exclaimed. 

“No, I’m not going to join the team.” He stated and Seungmin deflated. “Do you know anyone whose summoner name is ‘The Diamond Support’ in League?” He asked. 

“Never heard of them.” He shook his head. “None of the students in the gaming club has that summoner name.” Chan let out a groan as he laid down onto the grass, his head resting on a root protruding from the soil.

“I played a game of League at Minho’s party with a girl, but I was so drunk I don’t remember her name or much about her. I just remember playing with her and thinking she was really fun to hang out with.” He explained as he brought his arm over his eyes. 

“Do you know what she’s majoring in?” Chan shook his head and Seungmin let out a thoughtful hum for a moment. “Then, why don’t you try asking Yunho hyung? He knows more students who play League who aren’t part of the gaming club.” He suggested. Chan lifted his arm from his face and looked at him. 

“I’m going to end up running all over campus before I find her.” He sighed. 

“Why do you want to find her so badly?” He questioned as he started picking up a handful of dandelions that sprouted around them as well as the fallen petals of the cherry blossom tree, scattering them on Chan’s stomach and chest.

“I don’t know why, I just can’t let her go without knowing- what are you doing?” Chan questioned. He didn’t move, but he was just watching as Seungmin kept covering him with various plants. 

“Taking a picture - put your arm back over your face.” Seungmin stated as he brought his camera up to his face. He obliged and waited until he heard the click of the camera to move his arm. Seungmin pulled the camera away from himself and showed the picture to Chan who let out a pleased hum when he saw the picture. He had managed to make Chan look like he had asked a professional photographer to take a picture of him. 

“Anyways,” Chan shook his head to bring his mind back. “I just remember feeling so comfortable around her. I just really want to know who she is.” He explained as he sat up, brushing off the flora from his torso.

“I think Yunho hyung might know who she is. I feel like he knows more people by their summoner names than their actual names.” Seungmin joked as he placed his camera down beside himself. “Yunho hyung spends a lot of his time at the boba cafe right outside of campus. He’s probably there right now.” He told the blond male who was starting to stand up.

“Thanks, Seungmin. I’ll think about joining the team, but I can’t guarantee that I will.” He clarified as he brushed his pants off before leaving the park to head on over to the shuttle bus. 

Chan was lucky the university’s shuttle bus took them out of campus, or else he’d have to walk a whole ten minutes just to get to the cafe from the gates. He couldn't believe he was actually looking for you like this. He didn't have your number, you weren't coming online, and he seriously felt like he had no other way in trying to find you. Every time he felt like he was close to finding you, you would manage to slip past him.

Chan stepped off of the shuttle bus and made his way to the small boba cafe. As expected, Yunho was sitting at a table inside with Seonghwa and San. Yunho caught sight of Chan and immediately raised his arm up. 

“Hyung! Over here!" He called, waving him over. "Seungmin told me you were looking for me." Yunho smiled as Chan approached their table. 

“Yeah, I’m looking for a girl who played League of Legends with me at Minho’s party, but I only remember her summoner name.” He explained. 

“I know most of the League players on this campus. What’s her summoner name?” He questioned. 

“The Diamond Support.” Yunho’s face contorted in confusion at the mention of the name and he turned to San, silently asking if the name was familiar to him. The pair weren’t part of any gaming clubs, but they were among the students who spent most of their free time gaming.

“I don’t think I’ve heard of them before.” San shook his head. 

“The name doesn’t sound familiar. Sorry, hyung.” He gave Chan a sorry look. Chan let out a another groan and sat himself on the empty seat beside Seonghwa. 

“I messaged her on her account, but she hasn’t even come online since that night. I asked Minho, but he doesn’t play League of Legends. He told me to look for Seungmin, but Seungmin said none of the gaming club students use that name, so he told me to look for you, but if you guys don’t know who she is, then how am I supposed to find her?” He rambled on exasperatedly. 

“Why do you want to find her so badly?” Seonghwa questioned. 

“I don’t know, honestly.” Chan sighed out. “I just remember her dragging my drunk ass home, and I remember looking up at her and just thinking, ‘wow, she’s gorgeous’ and that I felt so comfortable around her.” He muttered out. “I remember having so much fun playing the game with her even though I was super drunk.” 

“If she dragged you home, doesn’t that mean she told Minho? I doubt that you would’ve been able to even remember your address.” San pointed out. 

“Yeah, have you ever seen yourself drunk, hyung? I’m pretty sure Minho hyung would’ve texted her your address.” Yunho chuckled. Chan gave him a look as he thought about it. Why didn’t he think of asking Minho whether he knew who took him home? 

“Wait, were you guys at the party, too?” He questioned and the three of them nodded. 

“Minho hyung invites almost everyone, hyung.” San stated.

“You were really out of it that night, hyung.” Seonghwa pointed out. “You looked like you were ready to take off your shirt and start dancing.” He snorted. 

“You disappeared with a girl and I assume she’s the one you’re talking about.” Yunho added. 

“Do you know who she was?” Chan shot up from his chair, the three younger students flinching when he did. 

“No, but I think she’s part of the dance club. I don’t know her name, but I think it’s her.” He guessed as he took a sip of his milk tea. “I couldn’t see properly because of the flashing lights.”

“Where did they even get those lights? Minho hyung’s parties look like a club rather than a normal house party.” San chuckled. 

“He bought them online without telling the others because he knew they would say no. Hyunjin was actually pretty pissed because he wanted to buy a nicer set of lights.” Chan explained softly. “Wait, so do you know anyone who knows her?” He questioned, wanting to get back to the main task at hand.

“You seriously need to ask Minho hyung. He’s the president and he knows all of the students in the dance club. Maybe he knows who the girl was.” Yunho shrugged. Chan felt like he wanted to cry. He had actually spent the past three days trying to look for you. He actually tried walking around campus on Sunday night after a nap, hoping he would bump into you. He barely ever left his apartment right after a nap.

As he left the boba cafe, he was starting to think maybe he should just give up. One more. Chan thought to himself as he made his way to Minho’s house. The sun was starting to set and he was getting tired. If he couldn’t figure out who you were, he was going to give up. He stood outside the front door to his friends’ house, raising his fist to knock on the door. Instead, the door swung open and there you were. You were flustered at his sudden appearance and you were more so when you saw how he was staring at you.

“Uhh, Minho! Chris is here.” You called into the house. Chan continued to stare at you as Minho came to the door. 

“Hyung? What’s up?” Minho questioned. Chan looked between you and Minho. 

“Wh- I’m- I-It’s you!” He pointed to you. “You’re The Diamond Support, right?!” He questioned. You were so shocked by his sudden appearance that it took you a moment before you realised he was asking you something and you nodded. “I’ve been trying to figure out who you were ever since Friday night.” He let out a relieved sigh. 

“Oh, it was (Y/n)?” Minho turned to you. “Hyung, she brought you home. If you wanted to know who she was, you could’ve just asked who brought you home.” He stated simply as he turned back to Chan.

“I didn’t think you knew who brought me home.” Chan confessed. “I wanna play more games with you.” He blurted out as he turned to you and you were flustered from how straightforward he was being. 

“W-What?” You stammered. 

“Y-You wanna play a game together?” He stuttered out, his confidence seeming to falter the longer he was standing in front of you. “You’re a really good support. I somehow managed to get six kills even while I was so drunk I don’t even know how I managed to remember my password.” You blinked at him a couple times as you thought back to it. 

“Oh, you only got those six kills because the enemy team was really bad.” You giggled softly. 

“You were still my support, and I had a lot of fun playing with you.” Chris confessed. Minho had let himself back into the house to give the two of you privacy and you couldn’t help but feel like the whole affair was oddly endearing. Christopher Bang, the guy you had a crush on, had spent his entire day running around campus trying to figure out who you were. The guy whose stream you looked forward to whenever you had a stressful day of class, had been waiting for a reply from you for almost four days. 

“Chris, I-I honestly don’t know how to react.” You said as you stared at him in shock. His expression dropped slightly, the fear of being suddenly rejected washing over him. “But, sure, I’ll play with you.” You smiled when you saw the corners of his lips lifting and his shoulders relax. 

“Are you just leaving? I could walk you home.” Chan offered and you nodded as you walked down the steps with him by your side. “What were you doing here?” He questioned. 

“Oh, my cat pushed my laptop off of my desk. Since it’s broken, I can’t play any games, so Jeongin invited me over to use their gaming room.” You explained. 

“Your cat pushed your laptop off the desk?” He repeated and you nodded. His eyes flickered with realisation. “That’s why you didn’t come online over the weekend.” He muttered out and you nodded once again. 

“I’ve had to use the computers at the library to finish my assignments and today’s the first time I actually played League since Friday. I only saw your message just now.” You hummed out. “I sent you a reply, but I wasn’t expecting you to suddenly show up at the house. If I knew you were coming, I would’ve waited for you and we could’ve played there.” You told him. 

The two of you continued to walk together in a comfortable silence. You couldn’t help but think back to when you had to drag Chan home. The calming yet playful aura he let out then still seemed to surround the both of you.

“Wait, you spent the whole day running around campus to look for me?” You questioned when it hit you and you couldn’t help the guilty feeling starting to bubble in your chest.

“Yeah, but I didn’t know your name, so I was trying to find anyone who knew you by your summoner name.” His hand moved to rub the back of his neck sheepishly. 

“You could’ve asked Jeongin. I play League with him all the time.” You stated. Chan stared at you for a moment.

“Jeongin was with his girlfriend and I didn’t want to bother him.” He chuckled softly. “But, I guess if I did just head on to him first, I would’ve met you earlier.”

“Maybe it was fate.” You shrugged. You weren’t one to believe in fate, but seeing the way everything for him just led to you, maybe you were supposed to end up meeting anyway. 

“Are we like gaming soulmates or something?” Chan joked, causing you to breathe out a laugh.

“Maybe we are, Bang Carry Chan.” You glanced over at him when you mentioned his streamer name and his entire being seemed to light up even more. 

“You watch my streams?” He questioned. You nodded and his smile widened. “I haven’t been really into my streams lately, honestly. It feels exactly like what I didn’t want to game for; a job.” He sighed. 

“Well, if you try to avoid it becoming a job, it might just make you feel like it is.” You stated and Chan seemed to agree with it, his head nodding slightly. 

“That night we played together was the first time I felt that excited in a really long time. It reminded me of the first time I played League.” He chuckled. Your heart skipped a beat and you turned your gaze in front of you. “I think we have good team synergy.” Chan added when you didn’t say anything. He hadn’t felt this nervous around a girl in a while, too. He was trying his best not to scare you off.

“I think we do.” You nodded, glancing over at him. “I like our synergy.” You added.

“So, whenever you’re free, do you want to play a game at the guys’ house?” Chan suggested and you nodded. You didn’t want any unwanted events, but games with Chan were more than welcome in your heart. 

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[the-queer-look]

Queer Uber Fund

Name: Gloria Demillo Age: 25 Location: Melbourne Occupation: Digital Copywriter/Poet Sexual Orientation: Pansexual Gender: Non-Binary

I used to really care about how I presented, especially in the workplace because I work in both a corporate environment, and in art spaces, people expect you to look a certain way if your gender is a certain way. Sometimes I think people expect me to be more masc, which I find strange in art spaces, I said I was Non-Binary, not that I was masc y’know? People will send me audition callouts for acting with “identifies as trans-masc” on them which is always weird. Honestly I just wear what I feel comfortable in, or for the weather, which is a statement in and of itself. Before I realised I was non-binary it was very performative – I really did dress for other people, or how they perceive me, or how I want them to perceive me. But now I just don’t care, as long as they perceive me as hot.

I’ve always had a feeling about not being straight, but I’ve never had the language for it because I grew up in a very conservative christian church. It was like “gay is bad” but all of the language around it was centred on men, with nothing to say about women being with women, or both. Like… what’s the grey area there? I was raised and socialised as a woman so… was this only a male centric sin? I started to have a language for it at uni, which helped because I found ways to discuss something I’d always felt, but didn’t know how to explain. When I look back at my childhood and how I expressed myself it just… makes sense. I had this favourite shirt, just a really dark shirt with a lion on it, and I’d always wear it with these little pink shoes with pom poms on it, and that aesthetic of really daggy clothes with really nice shoes is really the modern queer aesthetic.

It was mid 2019 when I realised I was non-binary and then I came out in October of that year, but there was such a long process. I was thinking about gender in uni, and then when I was experimenting more with how I presented myself and letting go of a lot of the ways in which I was socialised to behave. Being socialised as a woman was really violent for me – I don’t know how else to describe it – I had a lot of expectations put on me about my body, and how I should act, and how I should be in relationships, and when I was dealing with all of that gender stuff, it was very freeing to no longer have to live up to this arbitrary standard that was forced upon me. It was also much easier for me to talk about it because I was surrounded by so many lovely trans and non-binary friends, but of course talking to my cis friends about it was very… ugh...

I think when I found the language for my sexuality not much changed in the way I presented myself, it wasn’t until I found the language to express my gender as non-binary that there was a change in the way I thought about myself and how I was being perceived my relationship with my body. I really felt it, It was such a different transformation, I was so genuinely happier in my body, and stopped caring about how other people perceived me, and whether or not my presentation made sense to other people. I’ve stopped wearing clothes that are really tight. I don’t know why, but everything I had before coming out about being non-binary was very tight, very fitted, and now everything is very loose and flowy. It isn’t that I don’t like my body, I love my body, but now mostly what I wear is loose and billowy and doesn’t hug me so tightly.

To me the term Queer encompasses a description of my gender and sexuality that isn’t just one thing because its such a broad label. The way it was introduced to me was like a very radical and subversive way to refer to ones gender and sexuality, and I love that it’s been reclaimed by the community as a whole, though I completely understand those parts of the community that are uncomfortable with the term being used at all due to the way it was used in derogatory ways for so long, especially when used by persons outside the community. I’m sure that there’s going to be a generation coming up that will have no negative associations with that word, in the same way that I have younger queer friends that refer to each other using the F slur as a term of endearment, when I wouldn’t use it with most people.

I’ve always had a lot of queer friends, but I don’t think I started going to a lot of queer specific parties until the last three or for years. Queer events too, drag shows, musicians, poets and artists and other queer specific events. It hit a point where I just didn’t want to go to another straight club. They don’t feel safe, and I cannot just sit there and listen to another Ed Sheeran or Drake song when I want to dance y’know? I’m not a huge fan of the fact that queer events always focus around a party or something, I just want a quiet queer event like a queer book club or something. I’m going to join a queer climbing club or something, just be more involved.

I love being around other queer people, but there’s also a lot of racists around. Just because the event is queer does not mean the event is safe. You’d think that we would have dealt with intersectionality by now. Genderqueer people are more aware because we live on the margins of society and have for like… ever. But I find it really frustrating when people create queer events that aren’t accessible – people with different sensory needs, comfortable for people of colour, accessible for people with physical difficulties etc. I remember the first time I went to a queer club event with a quiet room and I lost my mind, like I wanna be at the club for six hours, but I want to sit down and have a break with just a little noise for a while y’know? It was so beautiful and safe.

K: What challenges do you see still facing the queer community today? Gloria: Racism

There are so many things, being trans-non-binary and a POC I get to see it all but like. People within the community that just straight up hate trans people? The phobia is coming from inside the house! Unlearn that shit queers! Some people in the community get rights? Like they can get married, get recognised, and then they turn around and say “us? we’re the good gays” shut the fuck up. Yeah, internalised phobias within the community? We need to unlearn that as a group, that’s a group effort.

Racism, ablism etc, we need to get rid of those because intersectionality is a thing. I also think that there’s so many laws that are trying to literally kill people in the community so like… I don’t know if we need to crowd fund some community lawyers or something, but we need to get some protections from these people who are out here doing their most to keep us down. I also think that cishet people really need to do better, even the ones that say they’re all about allyship will say that they’re on your side and then take you right to a straight club and like hey, what’re we doing here? I think cishet people don’t understand that there are certain spaces that, for non cishet people, are just inherently unsafe y’know? There isn’t any thought as to how their queer friends are safe going somewhere, or how they’re presenting is safe. When cishet people come into spaces that are meant for queer people yeah it’s just a party and a grand old time, but queer people don’t have that same privilege or concept of space y’know? At a straight club I could just disappear because some homophobe clocks me as queer and has a problem and what would y’all do about that? Cishet people walk around like life is this RPG that they’ve unlocked all parts of, and are free to go anywhere, and just don’t realise that there are places that they perceive as totally safe that are completely unsafe for any queer person to be in. We can’t even go to certain countries? We can’t live in certain suburbs of Sydney! People get bashed in fucking Newtown for being gay. Cishet people, especially if you say you’re an ally, or go into our spaces to have fun, why don’t you take a few seconds to think about the safety of your queer friends? Why don’t you pay for our Ubers and shit, make sure we get home? don’t just text me “are you home safe?” be about it!

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[ds-sparrow-manufacturing-co]

A Rebuttal

Ok so I really did not want to make this post. I would’ve loved to have left this whole thing behind because I’m aware I made some mistakes and would like to atone for them, but it seems I’m going to have to go over this one more time. For anyone seeing this post who somehow doesn’t know, I said some regrettable things about Aidan Gallagher here. I later made another post here summarising the entire situation that resulted, so I would suggest you read that first. 

I’m still getting people telling me what I said was fucked up, which is entirely justified. However, I have just now realised that the person who took it upon themselves to ‘correct’ me about my opinions of Aidan Gallagher (something that has not changed, I still strongly dislike him) later made several derogatory posts about me. I was not aware of this because after the first rude post they made about me, I blocked them to save myself the additional stress. 

I have done my best to deal with this whole thing as calmly and politely as possible. When this person was downright evil towards me, I didn’t bother to argue with them, I just made an admittedly-snarky post with a screenshot of what they said, and then blocked them because I had no desire to begin an argument. When I realised that what I had said about Aidan Gallagher had been fucked up, I apologised, accepted my mistake and did what I could to fix it. But I am out of patience. I don’t take kindly to being treated the way this person has treated me, I don’t think anyone does. So here I am, about to break down everything they said about me bit by bit to show you how much of a lying scumbag they have been towards me (as well as possibly others).

warning: this post is incredibly long

tw: su*c*de mentions

My first interaction with this person was when i got an anon ask who wanted to know what Aidan Gallagher had done to make me dislike him. I responded with a brief list, excluding most of my evidence because it was late at night and I didn’t have the energy to go down the rabbit hole of all this. The following day, the blog this post is about reblogged my post, attempting to disprove everything I said. I will not include screenshots here, because it was a long post, you can find it in my archive if you so wish. I read what they said, took everything into account, and responded with my proof for things I hadn’t previously included the proof for, as well as explanations for why certain things he’s said annoyed/upset me. I expected a polite response, as we had both been courteous so far. 

Instead,  I received the following:

Now, lets break down some of what they said.

‘stop saying things you can’t prove, because it’s fake’ - I provided my proof. I am not trying to lie to anyone, or perpetuate rumours. All I aimed to do was explain my point of view and why I personally dislike him.

‘some of your screenshots are fake’ - That’s just blatantly untrue, especially as they have at other points said things along the lines of ‘well yes but he apologised/he didn’t mean it like that’ for everything I have provided screenshots for. Make up your mind.

‘you’re so gullible’ - For... having an opinion? That I researched before forming? And which is based on something other than my blind faith in a 17 year old? Right.

This was when I blocked them.

I thought that was going to be the end of the situation. Then, I got some asks.

I saw this and, being a minor, was a little creeped out. I had assumed this person was a teenage fangirl because that’s who the majority of Aidan Gallgher’s fans are so this information was surprising.

This one scared me. I did what the anon suggested, created a backup (i won’t tag it here because I get the feeling some of the aforementioned ‘army’ are going to see this) and reported the other blog. Once again, I thought it was over.

It was at this point that people started telling me how fucked up what I said in my original post was, and I realised they were right. As mentioned at the start of this post, I apologised, and did everything I could to fix it. End of, right?

Until today, where I started thinking about what the above anons had said and decided to fact check, mainly out of curiosity. I unblocked the blog, only to discover they had made 3 posts about me that I hadn’t seen.

This was the first one, as you can see they began it with a screenshot of my original post. Let’s talk about this.

“but you wishing him dead is ok?” - I never wished him dead, to start with. Stabbing does not automatically equal death, but I know that’s nitpicky of me. I also did not wish he was stabbed. I said in that exact tag that I didn’t, because of TUA. However, I know that this ‘joke’ was really shitty of me, and I have already apologised multiple times.

“what kind of a low life do you have to be to have nothing better to do, but talk shit about a kid?” - Why don’t you tell me? As I’ve said multiple times, I am a minor. That doesn’t excuse what I said, but that does make it incredibly hypocritical of them to say that given everything.

This was the second post they made about me, beginning with the same screenshot as in the first post.

“they’re spreading false rumors” - I’ve already covered this one.

“they want a reason to be mean, even if it isn’t true” - I would never be mean to someone if they hadn’t done anything to deserve it. I’m a strong believer in the moral philosophy of respecting everyone until they give you a reason not to. Aidan Gallagher has given me more than enough reasons to lose respect for him. And, honestly? I still respect him as an actor, even if only that.

“you can’t say you’re a decent human being and wish someone dead. you can’t say you’re anti-bullying and want to prevent suicide and then bully someone” - That is some big talk from someone who claimed they were ok with what Aidan Gallagher said about mental health because they’ve had their own experiences with suicide, before immediately telling me to rot and burn in hell for disagreeing with them. And, wait a second, wasn’t Aidan Gallagher the one supporting women’s rights and feminism who then turned around and made gross comments towards a bunch of girls? Hmm. Also, wishing someone dead is too wide of a blanket statement to actually measure whether someone is a decent human being with. 

“i tried to be nice” - I didn’t know telling someone to rot in hell, calling them a stupid hoe, was being nice. I didn’t know lying, and telling people to report someone because they disagreed with you was being nice (notice how they never said anything about my stabbing comment until I disagreed with them.) I guess we have very different definitions of nice.

“if they really cared, they would kindly ask a fan if the rumors were true” - And that, ladies gentleman and variations thereupon, is a brilliant example of how not to perform unbiased research! I based my opinion on actual evidence, and neutral articles as well as arguments from both sides. Not on one fan who’s likely to deny everything.

“they said it themselves, they have no proof” - That is so incredibly cherrypicked. What I actually said was “supposedly used the f-slur although i can’t find proof“, one of the many points on my list of reasons I dislike Aidan Gallagher. You know why I said that? Because I found a screenshot of him supposedly having called someone that slur via Instagram but I gave him the benefit of the doubt and decided it was probably edited. I included the point on my list in the hopes of people doing their own research. And I certainly did not say I had no proof for anything, as you would know if you saw my original response to this blog, where I provided proof.

“threatening him and bullying him is wrong” - I am fully admitting of the fact my stabbing comment was in poor taste but it was very clearly not a threat and not even close to being bullying. Furthermore, I would say making four posts harassing and telling others to harass someone because they disagree with you is a lot closer to being bullying than anything I did was.

“defamation is a crime” - I live in the UK, so let’s use those defamation laws. A statement is not defamation unless it ‘ has caused or is likely to cause serious harm to the reputation of the claimant.’ Less than a hundred people are even aware my blog exists. Nowhere near enough people have seen anything I’ve said to count as defamatory. Not to mention that a statement is not defamatory if it is a statement of opinion.

“you’ll get karma for lying and playing the victim” -  Ohhh the irony. I have not lied once. I have provided all the necessary proof for everything and I have owned up to my mistakes. And yet, they, who have repeatedly lied about me, twisted my words and oddly enough, avoided including proof outside that one screenshot of my original post, are the one accusing me of playing the victim. Classy.

“hi to your little follower that you cry to” - This one’s just hilarious to me. I’m happy to have people on here who will let me know when people are, you know, harassing and bullying me. And, what the hell do they mean by ‘cry to’? Do they mean ‘mentioned that this situation was stressful once’? Wow.

“I promise you misery for the rest of your sad little life” - Honestly just re-read the other screenshots after seeing they said this. Jesus Christ. And, as someone who already struggles with depression and other mental health issues I’m interested to know what they’re intending to do that’s gonna be any worse.

“you’ll pay! that’s not a threat it’s a promise” - Are they planning on tracking me down? Or are they just going to keep sitting on their throne of yes men and echo chambers acting as if they’re actually affecting me? 

I would say this is the last post I plan to make about this situation but I’ve said that over and over again throughout the last 12 days and it’s never the last post. This whole situation has honestly been very emotionally taxing, and combined with some real life things, it’s been a bad week or so. Hopefully this post is enough to end this whole thing. 

#WOW this post got long #the aidan gallagher debacle #long post

[honey-bird-04]

this is my first post

Hullo. This is my 3rd time rewriting this, because sumthin’ kept fucking up every time I tried to write it. But let’s hope this time goes smoothly cause I got a lot to say. I don’t have anywhere else to put this, so I decided, why not come to Tumblr and see what everyone else thinks. So, let’s get started. I have been a Gleek since I was in 6th grade. And as much as I know that the show is cringey and hard to watch, my sister and I genuinely enjoyed it (although now we mostly watch it ironically). And we always had a favoritism system going, our favorite characters were blatantly obvious, and we were fishing for least favorite characters when we could. So, our lists of favorite characters/ships looked a little something like this: Favorites: -Kurt Hummel -Finn Hudson -Rachel Berry -Santana Lopez -Brittany S Pierce -Blaine Anderson Least favorites: -Quinn Fabray -Noah Puckerman -Terry Schue -Sue Sylvester -Jessie St James -Sebastian Smythe Favorite ships: -Finchel -Klaine -Brittana -Wemma And even though that doesn’t seem like there’s anything wrong with that set up in particular, I’m going to explain to you why my views have changed. Especially on my least favorite characters. And disclaimer!! Any and all of these characters that I list on my least favorites have nothing to do with race, gender, disability, sexuality etc. They are solely based on personality and how their actions affected others. That’s it. That’s what I’m basing it off of. Same goes for my favorite characters as well. And believe me I will give a lengthy explanation for each and every one of them I promise. So I’m going to be listing the least favorites from LEAST bad/toxic to MOST bad/toxic. And don’t be upset if one of your favorites are on here. Just because I don’t like them doesn’t mean you can’t like them. Just make that clear. These are only things that I’ve picked up and I’ve noticed throughout the show and watching back important clips and such from the show. Coming in at #7: Mercedes Jones: I know what’s coming already. And I’m going to have to tell y’all this loud and clear. Mercedes is not a diva. She’s just a bitch. I’ve never liked Mercedes, and not because she was black, but just because she had an awful personality and she was awful to the people around her. I think the only time I really saw her being nice to someone was when she was dating Sam, or when she was dating that football player. And a few times when she was with Kurt. The main problem I have with her is in S1E3: Bust Your Windows, she busted Kurt’s front windshield all because he had a crush on someone else. And I can guarantee you guys this. If a guy did that to a girl, like if Kurt had done that to Mercedes instead, y’all would’ve been outraged. She had no reason to bust his window like that and then get all sassy to him when he got upset about it. Coming in at #6: Santana Lopez: And this is another character that y’all are so set on saying that she’s a diva. But no. Santana is a straight up bitch. And before you guys say “she was closeted/insecure/outed!” etc, Kurt was also insecure and closeted in the first season and he was never rude to anybody in the way Santana was. And secondly, Finn didn’t out her until S3E6: Mash Off, and I can tell you she had been acting like a huge bitch way before then. All I have to do is pull up all of the times she’s been anti-semetic to Rachel, fatphobic to Finn and Lauren, attacked people’s insecurities and was just being god awful. One of my least favorite scenes from her is when she went on that entire rant about why Blaine and Kurt didn’t work out, and she attacked Kurt’s teeth, his sexuality, his dancing, his s3xual appeal, and just about everything Kurt was insecure about. All because he said that he thought Santana and Brittany were too young to get married. And I honestly agreed with him, Britt and San were 19. Definitely too young to get married, and Kurt was just trying to relate his failure with Blaine to warn them that getting married this young wasn’t something that they wanted to do. But no. Santana didn’t listen to him trying to reason with her, she just told him basically “you suck, Blaine really hates you, get your crap together.” And I have always had a problem with it. Not to mention she called Quinn a slut. And no matter what situation you are in, I don’t believe it’s okay to call any girl a slut. Actually, I don’t think it’s okay to call anybody a slut. Because I’m bringing this back. If Finn had called Quinn a slut, you guys would be all over him and cancelling that character so fast, but as soon as Santana says it, it’s okay? That never sat right with me either. And again, the way she relentlessly bullies Rachel for everything she’s insecure about, especially her height and nose is not okay. It doesn’t matter how much you dislike someone. Making fun of her nose to the point where as soon as she breaks it, she’s immediately thinking of getting a nose job. That is not okay. And there’s a speculation that Santana was the one who pushed Rachel over the edge to try and fall into bulimia. And I don’t doubt it. Santana is not a nice person. And her internalised homophobia does not excuse anything that she’s said or done. Not to mention she has Britt wrapped around her finger and she knows that she’ll do anything she asks. Like when Santana was fantasizing about forcing Britt to break up with Artie if she became Prom Queen because it would be “the law of the land” that is absolutely inexcusable. Because we all know Britt is naive and has some sort of DD or autism, and the characters in the show take that and use it to their advantage. Especially Santana. Coming in at #5: Artie Abrams: Now before you come for my ass, let me tell you. I actually used to really like Artie. He was pretty high up on my ranking Glee characters lists that I used to make all the time. But now that I’ve rewatched and I’ve noticed more things, I just cant like him with a good conscience. Remember in season 1 when Tina told him that she doesn’t really have a stutter? Well, if you remember, he broke up with her after that. But if you were closely watching the show, you should’ve realised that Tina has some sort of social anxiety, (not that I’m excusing her faking a disability), but she has a reason for doing it. She (presumably) took up the stutter because she needed a way to avoid having to speak so much in public. Which is totally understandable! Artie didn’t have to break up with her. She confided in him to finally tell him what she had been hiding for so long and he just breaks up with her??? Are you kidding? That just goes to show that one of the only reasons he was dating her was because of her disability. If he broke up with her so fast for not actually having one. Even though she had an actual reason that she did it. Another thing about Artie that I hate is that he called Britt stupid. And that is a huge deal. Everyone in the school calls Britt stupid or something along those lines (even Santana) and as soon as she finds the one guy who doesn’t think that way of her, he breaks her trust. She technically did cheat on him, but as I said earlier, she bends to Santana’s every order and she has some sort of DD or autism and didn’t understand that it was cheating. She even told Artie she didn’t understand it. And instead of sitting her down and explaining to her and giving her a second chance to prove her new knowledge to good use, he just calls her stupid and makes her cry. And then this one is obvious. Artie didn’t fucking wear c0ndoms while he was having s3x with those two girls in New York and didn’t actually tell them he had chlamydia. Which just pissed me off so much it makes me angry just talking about it. Coming in at #4: Finn Hudson: Oh ho ho. Finn Hudson makes me so angry. Let me just start off with everything he did (and didn’t do) to/for Kurt. Starting with the infamous “faggy scene” after Kurt tried to make amends with Finn for all the arguing they had been doing by redecorating their room. As ugly as it looked (lmao), he did his best to try and appeal to what a straight guy would like without making it too masculine so he would feel comfortable sleeping in there too. He tried to appeal to Finn’s interests as well as his own and had to do it all on short notice. But as soon as Finn saw it, the first thing he said was “are you freaking insane?” and Kurt just deflated. If you watch the scene, you can see it. You can physically see Kurt’s hard work all go to waste because of that comment. But then Finn follows it up with saying “I can’t live here, I’m a dude.” That line for me is the one that really made me dislike Finn very very strongly, because he not only said Kurt wasn’t a man to his face, he also views Kurt as nothing but his sexuality. That is further proven when he describes how uncomfortable he is around Kurt just because Kurt has a crush on him. And yes, Kurt was creepy, but after then, when they started living together, he just tried his best to make Finn feel as welcome and as comfortable as he can make him feel. But then sees that everything has been pointless, because Finn makes it a point to tell him that he puts his underwear on in the shower before he comes out when Kurt’s around. And that’s just fucked up. And a lot of people say that Finn “didn’t mean it” when he said the f-slur, but let me tell you something. You don’t just accidentally say something twice out of anger. If you really didn’t mean it, you would apologise right when it left your mouth. But Finn’s lack of an apology only proves that he meant every word of what he said. Next is when Finn refused to help Kurt out with Karofsky. I can only talk briefly about this because it actually makes me so fucking mad I can’t explain it. So, Rachel asks him to help Kurt out and confront Karofsky, right? And Finn refuses. Because, and I quote: “We both know I can help him more if I stay on top.” And I think he even says “Kurt will be fine” too, completely ignoring the fact that Kurt is so terrified to go to school, he’s losing weight (there are speculations that he cuts), but Finn doesn’t care about that. He only cares about the fact that he needs to stay popular. Oh and the fact that Karofsky plays right guard and wont guard him during the football game is he’s pissed and they’ll lose. He picks FOOTBALL and POPULARITY over his soon-to-be stepbrother’s MENTAL/EMOTIONAL/PYSICAL H E A L T H. I cannot explain how angry that makes me. Not to mention, the amounts of times he’s played victim. Especially with Rachel. One time that really pisses me off is when he goes “have you ever thought about what I’m going to do in New York?” and Rachel starts stammering over herself and assuring him that she’ll find something that he fits into since he doesn’t know what he’s going to do with his future. And then he asks her about California and Puck’s pool business. Even though he knows Rachel has been set on New York and NYADA since she was a little girl. He knows that she has all of those ambitions and she has an entire plan in her life and she’s already trying to shift those plans to fit Finn in with her. And for him to tell her that he wants her to give all of that up to come with him and Puck to California is actually more selfish than Rachel is. Oh! And not to mention he outed Santana too. Let’s not forget that. In front of basically the whole damn school too. He also kissed Emma. And he also cheated on Rachel with Quinn. And then actually broke up with Rachel when she made out with Puck a bit because she wanted to get him back for cheating on her and sleeping with Santana (even though it doesn’t excuse what she did at all, I just think Finn was being a hypocrite.) And he also cheated on Quinn with Rachel in the first season, and he led Rachel on for the entire first season, Or most of it at least. Coming in at #3: Mr. Schue: I’m just gonna speed through this: -He was a creep/pedo with both the girls and the boys -He had a savior complex and tried to force Emma’s OCD away and fix it instead of help her -He encouraged Emma’s crush on him even while he was married -He twerked with a bunch of minors -Suspended a minor for not wearing a bra she was uncomfortable in -He dealt really badly with Rachel’s crush on him -Never listened to his students’ input -hallucinated children while he was sick -Was very awkwardly touchy with his students -His best friend was 19 -refused to stop twerking even when offered the exchange for a trans student to use a staff bathroom to avoid getting bullied -overreacted after finding out Terry wasn’t pregnant Now the moments you’ve all been waiting for. Coming in at #2: Noah Puckerman: Now I was stuck on Puck for a while, I didn’t think he really was that bad of a guy for a long time. But just one thing Quinn says was enough to sway me and put him this high on my list. In one of the earlier episodes, Puck starts teasing her and being a dick after finding out she’s pregnant. And so she says: “You got me drunk off of wine coolers and I was feeling fat that day...” Now if you break that sentence down, she literally says “you got me drunk.” implying that Puck himself wasn’t drunk when this all took place. Meaning, Noah Puckerman r@ped Quinn Fabray. She never cheated on Finn. Puck purposely got her drunk just so he could get what he wanted. Especially considering she never put out and she was president of the Celibacy Club. Now must I say anything else? No. I didn’t think so. And finally, coming in at #1: Blaine Anderson: I know Blaine is everyone’s smol bean gay bb boy. (*gag) but I have to tell you that he is not a good person whatsoever. I’ll give him credit though. In the 2nd season he was really sweet and I actually really liked him. But as the seasons progressed, he got worse. In S3E5, Blaine and Kurt go to a gay bar together, and Kurt helps Blaine out after he gets too drunk. Then as soon as he tries to get Blaine in the car, Blaine starts coming onto him and kissing his neck and trying to convince him to have s3x with him, even though Kurt keeps repetitively saying no. And then he plays the victim after Kurt blows up at him and says “well I’m sorry for trying to be spontaneous and fun!” and then proceeds to walk home, getting mad at Kurt for nothing. Then in another episode. I think it was later in season 3, Kurt meets Chandler. And Blaine had been ignoring him for a while before that, so Kurt starts talking to Chandler only because he makes him feel good about himself. And he obviously thought it was okay because Blaine did the same thing with Sebastian but called him all the time and flirted with him and dirty danced with him etc. So when Blaine goes through Kurt’s phone, he finds the messages and makes a huge deal out of it and accuses Kurt of cheating on him. Then publicly humiliates him in front of the Glee club with a song about cheating. And then proceeds to go and cheat on him anyway. And then as soon as they were going to NYADA together, Blaine didn’t like all the attention Kurt was getting after he started to get more fit and more attractive and he was extremely jealous of him and over protective, not letting Kurt have any other male attention. At all. And Blaine is just super stingy with Kurt and doesn’t let him live his life and then pays victim whenever he gets confronted by him. Oh and not to mention he dated the one person that made Kurt’s life a living hell for the longest time and decided to rub it in his face. So there we have it folks. My new least favorite Glee characters and all the reasons why. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

#glee #kurt hummel #blaine anderson #finn hudson #artie abrams #brittany s pierce #santana lopez #rachel berry #quinn fabray

[ironmansuuucks]

Like Father, Like Daughter - Part 3

dewey finn x stark!reader 

bonour mon petite croissants! okay so like this part is vvv different to the other parts and the ending is really rushed so my apologies. there’s pretty much no dewey in this one its all reader and tony because context and story lmao but it is vvv angsty!!!. sooo i hope you enjoy! also, i tagged you guys because yous have read and commented on the last parts and i hope yous are still liking it lmao lotsa love xxxx

Part 1 

Part 2 

words - 1800

warnings - alcohol, mentions on drugs, angst 

“JARVIS, you up?” Tony questioned his AI as he walked back into the workshop. “for you sir, always”. It was dark and cold in Stark Tower. Tony had been footering around with mark 34 all day, non-stop. He had no idea where his daughter was. In fact you hadn’t spoken in days. It broke his heart but he knew that he needed to wait until you were ready to talk, and the fact that you were both as stubborn as each other didn’t help. As he checked his watch he couldn’t believe the time, 3:20 AM. “yeah, now flip it.. uh huh and push the revolvers up.. more to the left” Tony spoke to JARVIS with a holographic model of mark 34’s chest cavity moving around in front of him.

Suddenly his phone began to ring. “send it to voicemail” he quipped at JARVIS, still spinning the holograph, but the AI hastily responded “uh sir, it’s y/n’s mobile that’s calling you”. “what? Where is she?” he replied worriedly. Tony had a secret tracker on your phone for years and you had never noticed. JARVIS checked and replied “she’s in Katie’s bar sir”. Tony furrowed his eyebrows, folding his arms, expecting some drunken call from his daughter about how much she hated him, “ok answer it”. The AI answered the call and all Tony could hear was the loud, muffled music of the bar.

“hey sweetie how you getting on?” he answered the phone condescendingly, preparing for her shouting and swearing. But the voice he was met with was not his daughters. “uh, hey Mr Stark, it’s Peter, y/n’s friend?”. Tony furrowed his eyebrows again, concern building. “oh hey Pete, everything ok?”. Peter paused for a second. “well uh.. no, not really.” Tony’s heart was racing, his mind spinning and coining the worse scenarios. “I think you may need to come pick up y/n. She’s super messed up, worse than I’ve ever seen her.. and she uh.. she was about to buy.. uh cocaine from these random guys on the streets before we stopped her” Peter replied hesitantly. Tony was furious. Who the hell did you think you were and what the fuck did you think you were doing. He had been down this route before and it was one that he struggled to get out of. The rich and famous lifestyle was not an easy ride, but he would die before he let you fuck up as much as he did when he was your age.

Tony darted toward the door, not even lifting his jacket “uh huh kid, keep her at Katie’s bar, I’ll be there in five”. He didn’t even wait to here what peter had to say. He almost ran out to the Mercedes and drove at a speed that was lethal to get his daughter back and safe in his arms.

* * * * * * *

“yeah well fuck off” you shouted at the bouncer as your friends dragged you out of the bar, stumbling into the back of them. You pulled out of Peter’s grip and slid down the wall to sit on the ground. Your head was spinning. You had consumed a destructive amount of alcohol. You put your head in your hands. “ugh I haaaate my liiife” you almost shouted as your friends stood in front of you, patiently waiting for Tony. Peter bent down and rubbed your knee “you’re fine, y/n, everything will be okay”. You sobbed slightly “n-no it won’t Pete, im.. I’m fucked up”.

Just then was when the jet black Mercedes stopped outside of the bar, the door flinging open. You looked up at the sudden noise of the car acceleration, Peter standing up and thanking the lord that Tony was here. You squinted your eyes as someone got out the car, and then the realisation hit “you dicks called my dad?!?!?” you shouted drunkenly at your friends, who stood in silence. “right, come on.. up you get” Tony said as he attempted to pull you to your feet. To be honest, you didn’t want to protest too much. In your head you didn’t have to speak to your dad, you could just go to your own cosy bed, so you let him pull you to your feet, stumbling into him as you did so.

Your friends stood silent, feeling bad, and severely worried about you. “what has she had?” Tony questioned Peter as he put her in to the front seat of the car. “ugh, tequila, jack, vodka.. honestly a mix of everything”. Tony sighed, shutting the door and ignoring your protests from the car. “ok so just about everything she could lay her hands on? You’ll be the death of me kid seriously” Tony spoke as he walked round to get in the car. “Thanks guys, I’ll let you know how she gets on” he thanked your friends as he drove off.

The car ride home was filled with silence. Tony was too angry, and you were too drunk. You stumbled trying to get out of the car and fell on your knees, Tony went round and helped you up, putting your arm around his shoulder, almost carrying you up to the penthouse.

When the elevator dinged, and you both walked into the living room, you pulled yourself away from him “I don’t need your help”. “uh huh, sure you don’t miss independent. If it wasn’t for me you wouldn’t be here”. You rolled your eyes “I’m away to b-bed” you drunkenly began to attempt to walk towards your bedroom but you swayed and fell into one of pillars. Tony crossed his arms and watched you as you slid along the pillar and attempted to walk without it but couldn’t.

“please to god tell me what Peter told me wasn’t true y/n” Tony began, sternly. “w-well I don’t know? How th-the fuck am I supposed to know what peter told you” you snapped, head spinning. Your eyes were closed, head resting against the pillar. “you know damn right what I’m on about y/n. Cocaine? Random guys in the street? I’ll be damned if I let you ruin your life like that.” Tony lectured you as he went to put on the coffee machine. “well you kn-know what they say dad.. like father, li-like daughter right?” you slurred.

That hurt. This was the last thing Tony wanted to happen, for his daughter to end up like him. He had tried his best on his own, and he was so proud of you, but he just didn’t understand. Was it his fault? He walked out of the kitchen area and looked at you. His heart was shattered seeing you like this. His eyebrows were furrowed, and the hurt was seeping out of his eyes. Once you had locked eyes with him you looked away. You knew you were hurting him but you didn’t know how to help yourself.

You started to tear up. All of your emotions coming to fruition. You bounced very lightly against the pillar as tears began to stream down your face. You still couldn’t look at him. “dad.. w-why am I such a f-fuck up”.

This broke Tony’s heart. He instantly came over to you and pulled you into his embrace, tightly. “no- listen y/n. You could never be a fuck up. Look at everything you’ve achieved. I’m so so so incredibly proud of you sweetheart”. You sobbed into his shoulder as he rubbed you’re back. “y/n I just want you to realise your worth. You’re so beautiful and smart and you deserve the world. I hate seeing you try to drown your sorrows every night and bring home these random dudes. I just wish you’d talk to me”. He stroked your hair and kissed the top of your head.

“why don’t we make a coffee, if you can stomach it, we’ll go lay on your bed and you can talk to me if you’d like, or I’ll just lie with you until you fall asleep?” he pulled you off of him but kept you in his arms. You nodded, sniffling.

Tony took you to your room and sat you on the bed, you still being too drunk to function properly on your own, then went and made you both coffee. He came back in and sat it on your bedside table “this should help with the head in the morning”. He then went to the other side of the bed and laid down, “here, come rest your bones next to me”, he opened his arms and gestured for you to go and cuddle into him. You instantly shuffled over and let yourself relax into your dads embrace. You began to sob. Tony ran his hand through your hair.

“dad, I just feel like I’m not good enough” you managed through your sobs. “now what in your damn mind would  make you think that y/N?”

* * * * *

You and Tony spoke all night. It was the first time you had both spoken like that in a long, long time. It broke his heart to hear why you felt the way you did and he would pay endless amount of money, and do anything in the world to help you, but he couldn’t. Eventually you both fell asleep, you had needed to get up a few times to be sick, and your dad was right there for you. He never left your side that night, and hardly slept a wink for fear you would throw up and choke in your sleep.

In the morning you thanked him, and you both made a plan. You had promised you would stop going out as much, and you both promised to spend more time with one another, which meant Tony had to stay out of the workshop more. And as time gradually went on, your relationship got better and better. You would both have coffee in the morning together, you both went to concerts again, and you were both cheeky smart asses to one another. You were a new person. You became more responsible, looked after yourself, stopped hooking up with random guys. You were unrecognisable.

“did you ever get in contact with that guy?” Tony had asked you one day as you were both working on mark 36 in the workshop, “what guy? There was that many” you joked. Tony laughed lightly, “no the one who uh, liked all the guitars remember? Had the cool ACDC t-shirt on?”. Dewey Finn. Suddenly you were taken back. Where the hell was he now? It must have been 4 months since that one night, but you would never forget it. That was one of the best nights of your life. “uh, no.. I don’t know if he would want to meet up really, given the circumstances. He probably hates me”.

But little did you know..

tags: @large-unit​ @little-miss-shy-goth​ @paxenera​ @heknowshisherbs​ @thewolfisapartofmysoul​

#dewey finn #tony stark #dewey finn x reader #stark daughter #school #marvel #avengers #Alex Brightman #robert downey jr

[lowkeysebastianstan]

100% agree with you about the misogyny in seb's fandom. I don't think I've ever cared who he's dated. I had to take a step back from him tho bc of *his* actions. He's taken *3* international beach trips in 4 months in the middle of a pandemic. Two of which are being used as loopholes to get his gf in the u.s. which has me side eyeing that aspect, but even then they're not quarantining properly in a high risk country before coming here. That's *my* issue w him rn-Covid needs to be taken seriously

yeah, i’ve not either. nor have i with any of the male celebrities i’ve been fans of, their private life has never been mine or any other fan’s business imo. 

but of course, i’m still shellshocked from being a fan of benedict Cumberbatch and the treatment of his wife. which, even in fandom standards, is just mindblowing. and so when i see this behaviour by another man’s fans, i get on edge. and frankly, i don’t give a sh*t if she actually did smt r*cist 5 yrs ago, bc that’s also a huge problem, the way the left, which i assume most all sensible ppl to be on, behaves like ‘one strike and you’re out’, you’re not allowed to learn and grow, ever. 

although, you know, hemsworth donned a warbonnet a few yrs ago, and apologised, but then he’s a guy, so. james gunn wrote ph*ophilic tweets, but eh, let him come back. rdj did ACTUAL bl*ckface in a movie, but hey, he’s fine. oh, and y’know, henry cavill basically said it was dangerous to approach a woman after #metoo, and that ‘a woman should be chased’. but he’s everyone’s f*cking darling. jason momoa said he ‘was lucky to get to rape beautiful women’ at a con. benedict cumberbatch used the word ‘col*ured’ in an interview back in, i wanna say 2013, yeah, he was crucified then, even if the word doesn’t have the same connotations in the UK, but eh, i can’t say i’ve heard much abt it since. anthony mackie? he said ‘a woman’s role is to make a man a sandwich’. but he seems all the f*cking rage these days. (i’m doing these off the top of my head, so there’s a lot of paraphrasing, but you’ll get the drift.)

and of course, sebastian himself doesn’t exactly have a stellar record, but you know what? he learned and changed and he became someone i’ve admired a lot for some of the work he’s done that has focused and supported women. point is, even when they were confronted with all that, they weren’t shamed and called slurs, were they? and the partners of famous women aren’t either, they’re just envied? they’re not called golddiggers or sl*ts or... i struggle to think of male slurs, which is just so telling, but whatevs. 

(and no, don’t @ me, i totally think that all these men deserve more chances, not only for this but for many, many mistakes and unwoke things they have done and are gonna do at some point, because we all do. we slip up and do things we later realise was wrong, and we reflect and we regret and we evolve and we become better.)

but, no. not if you’re the girlfriend of an admired man. nono, then gods above and below, save you if you’re caught out bc you’re the f*cking devil. then you’re a wh*re and a b*mbo and a pr*stitute and a b*tch, it’s such fun! and if you wore a kimono at a party, something that’s encouraged by ppl in japan btw, then you’re a r*cist version of all those things. and honestly? whatever has been found on her since, i don’t give a flying f*ck. bc that was more than enough for the vitriol that ensued earlier this summer. no matter who he’s with, there will always be something. the way women treat other women, the way we’re conditioned to do it from birth, it’s just insane. it’s disgusting and hurtful and dangerous, why do we do it? i’m just. sick of it.

again, sebastian’s behaviour is dumb. it’s gross and privileged and stupid. i defended him somewhat after ibiza bc spain was trying to get back on it’s feet, i didn’t even catch that he was in, was it bermuda?, but now it’s getting harder. yeah, the filming and pics are stalkerish af, and i don’t condone that, not even a little, but also i do think it’s wrong to do what he/they’re doing. it’s disrespectful to everyone who’s still locked down for their life, and it’s potentially downright dangerous, depending on what measures that are in place. hell, i took a domestic trip a month ago, before cases had started spiking here, and i still feel guilty bc i know so many other’s can’t. and it’s especially galling to other americans considering the insane situation there, and yeah, kinda rich coming from someone ranting abt irresponsible beach goers in may. 

huh. apparently i wansn’t quite done after all. but then, when am i really ever.

#ask #anon #sebastian stan #fandom #misogyny #a rant #and i tried to not be ghosted #hence the *s #but i don't have much hope #Anonymous

[your-villainous-neighbour]

How did you come out to your friends and family? Specific instances pls?

okay

1. So. I'm not out to my parents yet. I mean I was for a very brief period but they shoved me back into the closet aHAHA what can you do

2. I came out to my sister by playing p!atd's girls/girls/boys and going "lmao same" until she went "ahah- wait whAt" and yeah that's it that's how I told someone for the first time ever.

3. I didn't really come out to my best friend as much as I made gay jokes until she got the hint.

She didn't.

fast forward a few months and she went "oh wait fuck you aren't joking?" and my blood froze in my veins but she immediately said "cool!! :D" I cried perhaps

4. I came out to my closest friends the weekend after I realised by gathering them all and going "I'm pretty sure I'm bi" and they jumped up and down and hugged me and screamed about how awesome it is that they have a "bi best friend". I cried again, perhaps.

5. Okay now this is the weirdest one by far.

So this involves another best friend (we weren't that close back then, though). We'd exchange memes on the daily but that's it. One day he sends me a message saying "lol apparently p*rnhub's celebrating mother's day" and I went on the website and took a screenshot of their banner (this is back when Google allowed screenshots on incognito)

(and before I knew how horrible and exploitative a platform ph is)

with the caption "Oh my GOD THEY REALLY ARE"

And he sends back the message "wait.... why does the search tab say lesbian" and my impulsive ass was like lmfAO FUCK OKAY THERE'S SOMETHING YOU SHOULD KNOW-

he replied with "oh cool"

6. I came out to my gang from 10th grade (I miss them all so fucking much, bless them) when we were in class. 2 of them I told casually

(*turns to face them*

"so, I'm bisexual!"

*Turns back around*)

They were nice about it. Except one of them insisted I'm a lesbian in denial until I told him to shut his dumb face. Which he promptly did.

The others, word either got around or I told them myself. I don't remember how exactly. Just remember it was casual there too. Took them a while but eventually they accepted me.

One of the dudes who made a face and said "eww" was relentlessly asking me about my girlfriend last night. I cried then too.

Give your friends time, lads.

7. I came out to an older friend (he's 18 now and he's a lot like an annoying ass elder brother I fucking love him) by screaming the name of the girl I used to have a crush on and promptly exiting the school bus. Power move.

he was confused but he got the spirit. Dude used to say "lol that's gay" and use the f slur very often which he's long since stopped. Give!!! Your friends!!! Time!!!

8. I came out to my cousin when I posted a story on my Instagram of the bi flag and then caption "yup" to which she replied "wait, really?" And I said yes

She said "cool".

9. Honorary mention to the one time I told a friend I've since stopped talking to (for unrelated reasons) that I'm bi and she replied with "oH SAME???" it was great.

10. I came out to myself on Nov 7th 2017 by posting "reblog if you're bisexual!" And then rb'ing that with "it's me. I'm bisexual" for all my 60 followers to see.

I got 2 notes (of which one was my own reblog). but it was nice.

---

Those are my favourite stories. The rest have been pretty run-of-the-mill. I honestly don't even bother coming out anymore I just say "oh she's hot" (around non-family, of course) and let them draw their own conclusions. yeehaw.

This was fun to write. Thanks for the ask!

[iambuckyrogers]

The Morning After (The Night Before)

Summary: You wake up in a strange bed with little memory of the night before, Clint helps you piece it all together.

Word Count: 2017

Chapter Warnings: a little angsty, binge/heavy drinking, throwing up (idk if that’s a warning?), IT ALL ENDS WELL THO

Pairing: Clint Barton x Reader

Prompt: “Why are you doing this?” / “I told you, you may have a concussion.” / “You don’t care if I never wake up.” / “Sure I do.” / “Why?” / “Well, because then I’d have to start taking out girls that actually like me.

Authors Note: This was written for @littledarlinhavefaithinme ‘s 10 Marvelous Things I Hate About You Writing Challenge!!! I lOOOVE this movie and I hope that I did the prompt justice. Italics are flashbacks/Clint’s story. Likes and reblogs are appreciated <3

*****

Your POV

Your head was pounding, the world spinning as you blinked your eyes open. You were lying in bed, but not yours and you couldn’t remember how you got there. Slowly you sat up, slumping against the headboard when the thumping in your head became too much.

“She lives!” A rough voice came from the corner of our room, startling you.

“Clint?” You tried to focus on the spinning room, you were almost certain you could make out the archer’s figure on the chair in the corner, but then again it could always be a pile of dirty clothes.

“Forget all the fun we had last night?” he chuckled, getting up from his chair and making his way over to the bed with a glass of water and headache tablets.

“F-fun? Shit, what did we do?” you stammered, looking down at your body you realised that you were no longer wearing your dress from the gala last night, instead, you were just in one of Clint’s shirts and your panties.

“Relax sweetheart, we didn’t do anything. No chance after you vomited on my shoes,” He handed you the water and tablets, sitting on the bed next to you.

“Oh god, I did what?” you gratefully swallowed the tablets as you tried desperately to remember what happened last night.

“Don’t you remember anything that happened?” He asked, cocking his head to the side like a curious puppy.

“No, just flashes, did I really pick up Mjölnir?”

“Honey that wasn’t actually Mjölnir, it was a prop. Ok, you know what I’ll just tell you everything that I remember…”

*****

Clint’s POV

“Shit, shit, shit,” He cursed under his breath, taking the steps 2 at a time up to your floor. He was over 15 minutes late to pick you up for the Avengers Gala and he knew you’d give him hell for it. He knocked on your door but was interrupted when it was yanked open.

“You’re late Barton,” you ground out, pushing past him as you came through the door.

“Sorry, I got held up,” he tried to explain but you just brushed him off with a curt wave of your hand.

“Doesn’t matter, let’s just go,” you locked up your apartment and started off down the stairs leaving Clint trailing behind.

*****

Your POV

You listened to Clint with your head in your hands, the thumping in your head refusing to go away.

“I remember all of that, the car dropped us off at The Met, we were swarmed by paps, nothing really out of the ordinary,” you recalled, the memory still clear, “when we finally got inside I went to talk to Steve,” and there the memories started to become fuzzy, you looked up to Clint who was watching you intently, “and that’s all I remember.”

“Of course it is…”

*****

Clint’s POV

The second the two of you were inside you dropped Clint’s arm like a hot potato.

“I’ve got to talk to Steve, I’ll find you later,” you left without letting him reply, weaving through the crowd towards Steve who was sat at the bar nursing a drink. Now alone, Clint sought out company, spotting Sam and Bucky through the crowd he made a beeline for their table.

“Bird guy!” he laughed, clapping Sam on the shoulder, ”Soldat,” he saluted to Bucky sarcastically earning an eye roll from the super soldier.

“Arrow man! How’s it going?” Sam replied, holding out his drink

“Same old, same old,” he replied stoically, grabbing the drink and downing it in one mouthful.

“I’d suggest otherwise,” Bucky noted. Clint looked over to where you were sitting, now alone at the bar, with a line of empty shot glasses scattered in front of you. You wobbled precariously on your chair as you tossed your head back and downed another drink, raising your empty glass triumphantly in the air.

“Nah it’s all good,” he lied through his teeth, turning back to the boys. They fell into comfortable conversation talking about all sorts of things and catching up on each other’s lives as the drinks flowed and the night wore on. Clint was careful to keep an eye on you, well aware of how much you had drunk in such a short amount of time, looking up every now and then to make sure you were still at the bar. The screech of a microphone cut through the room, everyone looked around confused trying to find the source of the noise. Clint looked to where you had been sat for the last few hours but you were nowhere to be seen.

“What a party, am I right?!” someone slurred over the speakers. Clint was sure that was your voice, and his suspicions were confirmed when a large spotlight illuminated you, very drunkenly stumbling up the steps of the stage.

“No get those lights off,” you shouted in your very best (terrible) Donald Trump impression, waving your hands around causing you to lose your grip on the microphone, sending it hurtling into the audience. Fortunately, no one was hit, unfortunately, you found another microphone on the stage.

“How’s everyone feeling tonight?” you were met with a very unenthusiastic wooh from the crowd, except Tony who cheered encouragingly, throwing you a thumbs up as he filmed you on his phone.

“That’s what I like to hear!” you walked along the front of the stage, almost tripping on your floor length gown. “Did I hear someone say pick up mould near?” You gestured to the prop of Thor’s hammer, clarifying what you were trying to pronounce so poorly. It was sitting on the corner of the stage next to replicas of Steve’s shield and Tony’s helmet. You looked very disappointed with the lack of response, and Clint was getting concerned that no one had tried to remove you yet.

“I said, did I hear someone say pick up mould near?” you repeated, this time a little louder. Clint had seen enough, getting to his feet he pushed his way through the crowd towards the stage where you were now trying to amp them up with a chant of ‘pick it up’. Surprisingly, it was catching on and by the time Clint made it through the masses the whole room was alive.

“Y/N please get down,” he yelled up to you.

“No, Clintothy, Clintamin, Cli- what even is your name short for? Who even cares? Don’t you think I’m worthy?” You sneered angrily.

“Y/N, you know that’s not what I mean. You’re going to hurt yourself, please get down,” he pleaded in a last-ditch attempt to stop you from embarrassing yourself any further.

“I am worthy!” you shouted, dropping the microphone dramatically. The crowd started to chant ‘worthy’ as you strode confidently over to the hammer, wrapping both hands securely around the handle. You bent your knees and shot the crowd a wink before yanking the hammer up with all your power. You grossly misjudged how light the prop was, using too much force you sent yourself toppling over backwards smacking your head on the floor, causing the crowd to gasp in unison. Clint leapt into action, pulling himself up onto the stage and scrambling over to your side.

“Hey, Y/N, Y/N/N, honey, speak to me, are you ok?” he cupped your face in his hands. You nodded weakly, you tried to sit up but Clint pushed you back down gently.

“Woah not too fast, I think you might have a concussion we have to take it slow,” he helped you to your feet, slinging your arm around his shoulders he helped you across the stage.

“I’m ok!” you yelled to the crowd giving them a big wave as Clint basically carried you down the stairs and out into the fresh air of the night.

“Alright here we go,” he set you down on a chair carefully, kneeling in front of you he looked you over to make sure you hadn’t broken anything or done too much damage to yourself.

“Why are you going this?” you asked, looking at him with glazed over eyes.

“I told you, you may have a concussion,” he replied, moving to sit next to you on the chair.

“You don’t care if I never wake up.” Your words stung, leaving Clint shocked as to what he did to make you feel that way.

“Sure I do,” he replied taking your hands in his and rubbing small circles with his thumb reassuringly.

“Why?” You scoffed, clearly not believing anything he was saying.

“Well, because then I’d have to start taking out girls that actually like me.” You froze and looked at him wide-eyed, like a deer in the headlights.

“Honestly Clint that’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard,” you slurred slapping him gently on the cheek and shaking your head. He was confused to say the least, looking at you quizzically in the hope that you’d explain what you meant.

“I like you, like, like like you,” you blabbered looking down at your hands, “like a lot. And I know you just asked me to be your date to get back at Nat.” You looked at him sadly with tears in your eyes.

“Oh god please say something,” you panicked.

“Nat and I aren’t… No, I asked you because I like like you too Y/N, but I thought you hated me.”

“Au contraire, Clinton,” you smirked, leaning in towards Clint, your eyes fluttering closed as you moved in closer. Suddenly, you opened your eyes wide, your hand flying to your mouth before you doubled over and emptied the contents of your stomach right onto Clint’s shoes.

“Oh sweetheart,” he sighed, looking sadly at your weak figure, “feel better?” You shook your head no as you threw up again, this time aiming a little further away from his shoes and closer to the garden.

*****

Your POV

“So, once you’d finishing yacking your guts up, I got you into the car and brought you back to my place. I didn’t feel safe leaving you on your own I’ve heard stories of people choking on their own vomit and I got was worried that you’d throw up again. You got yourself changed while I made up the guest bed but you must have decided that mine was more comfortable because when I got back you were curled up and fast asleep,” He smiled sheepishly, “and that brings us back to the present.”

“Wow, that was a ride,” you laughed looking at Clint, “so what now?” Your confidence from last night had clearly come up with your drinks.

“I thought you hated me,” Clint whispered, “we used to hang out all the time, we were really close but now, we don’t really see each other, and when we do you’re short and kind of bitchy.”

“Oh Clint, I’m so sorry,” you apologised, “I thought that you were dating Nat, the more time we spent together, the harder I started to fall for you. I didn’t want to have my heart broken so I pushed you away, hoping that my feelings would disappear” You explained, “but, evidently not.”

“Oh honey,” Clint chuckled, using his index finger to gently tilt your head up to look at him, “Nat’s like a sister to me, I- we- just no,” he shivered and wrinkled his nose at the thought, “I’m sorry I didn’t say anything sooner, we could have gotten to this,” he leant in and quickly pressed his lips to yours, “a whole lot sooner.” Your face heated up as the widest smile stretched across your face, one which was mirrored on his too.

“Well, what are we waiting for?” you pulled Clint in by the back of his neck, crashing your lips onto his. He returned the kiss just as passionately, rolling the two of you so you were on your back and he hovered above you, pressing soft kisses all over your face.

“We’ve got lost time to make up for.” He arched his eyebrows playfully before connecting your lips to his once again, and nothing had ever felt so right.

#10marvelousthingsihateaboutyou #clint barton x reader #clint barton & reader #clint barton #clint barton imagine #marvel #marvel x reader #marvel imagine #clint barton x you #marvel fic #clint barton fic #clint barton AU

[angelsofaurora]

What are the odds? (Part 2)

Pairing: reader x Izzy Stradlin

Word count: 2154

——————————————————————————

“It’s late, hurry up!” Y/F/N shouted through the closed bathroom door. After you came home from the record store you fell asleep in front of the TV. You only woke up when Y/F/N shook your shoulder, telling you in an annoyed tone to get ready since it was less than an hour until it’s time to leave if you want to get in the club on time to see the band play.

You hated being in a hurry because you instantly became a mess. You almost slipped at the bathtub.

Stepping out of the shower you glanced down to your legs. “Fuck, I’m dumb.” You got back in the shower since you forgot to shave your legs.

By the time you got out of the shower for the second time you had about half an hour to dry your hair, apply makeup and get dressed.

The next minutes until you were ready were mostly running through the apartment doing several things at once.

Wearing a tight black short skirt with a black lacey top and your favourite heels you felt comfortable but sexy. The leather of the skirt hugged your curves perfectly and the top had just enough clevage not to look like you were desperetly trying to get laid. Calling out for your friend you grabbed your purse and headed out down the street.

The Troubadour was packed with young people. After all it was a friday night, everyone was out having fun. The clubs were everyone’s go-to destination on a weekend night.

You saw the flyer on your way through the entrance and it said the band is Guns N Roses. The guys themselves didn’t look bad in the photo so you got a bit excited to see them.

By the time you got in, the band was already playing.

The music was loud and their energy filled up the entire place. You had to admit they were really good. Grabbing Y/F/N’s hand, you made your way to the bar. You knew you could have fun without alcohol but you also knew booze made it so much better.

“Four shots of vodka, please.” you told the bartender slightly annoyed by the amount of people around you and you could see your friend could use some liquor courage too.

After downing two shots of clear vodka, you knew the night was about to get started.

Pushing your way through the crowd you made it all the way to the front of the stage. Firstly you saw the singer. A red-haired guy with a lean body and unique voice. Next to him was a guitarist with a mass of curly black hair and you couldn’t really make out his face since it was covered with hair and a huge hat. Next to him was a tall blonde bassist and behind him another blonde guy who was bouncing happily while playing the drums. There was another guy, a rhythm guitarist, you assumed. Black long hair, slim body and you could swear you’ve seen those boots he was wearing already.

While the show was unraveling you noticed the ginger guy glancing at your friend’s direction quite a few times. She noticed it too and by the time they were done playing she was determinted to get to know him better after the show.

Struggling your way back to the bar you ordered another four shots of vodka, two for you and two for Y/F/N. The bar was the center of attention for most of people in the club since the show has ended and there was nothing to do except to drink. Knowing it might take a while, you started a discussion with your friend about the band. She desperatly wanted to know which one of them you liked the most. Just as you were about to answer her, a voice you found familiar spoke next to you.

“Can I buy you ladies something to drink?” Y/F/N’s eyes went wide and you knew who it was before even turning around. It was the band’s singer.

“We actually just ordered but we most absolutely wouldn’tbsay no to another drink.” Now it was your turn for your eyes to go wide since your usually not so talkative friend obviously got really outgoing tonight. He just smiled and told the bartender to get you all three Jack Daniels’.

“I’m Axl by the way.” He offered his hand to both of you and you shook it, telling him your names. His smile went wider as he got to shake your friend’s hand.

The bartender gave you your drinks suprisingly quickly and you downed your drinks in a matter of minutes.

You started to like Axl as a person and there was no doubt your friend did too so you two didn’t even hesitate when he asked if you wanted to join him backstage where all his bandmates are.

Walking behind him as he was leading you backstage you saw some jelous looks being serwed to you and your friend but you didn’t mind at all.

“Okay so I have to warn you there’s probably chaos in there by now,” the ginger told us before opening the door to a room. There were two couches in and four guys. They all looked curiously at you and you could tell by the smirk on the curly haired guy’s face, he liked you. You smiled right back at him. They all said something in the lines of “Hey”. You sat down beside the short blonde and the curly-haired guy. Y/F/N sat down across from you next to the bassist and Axl. The black haired guy was sitting on the floor next to Axl’s legs. He raised his head and met eyes with yours. Narrowing his gaze he half jokingly said: “Oh, you’re the girl who sent my booze flying earlier in the day.”

That’s when it clicked why he looked so familiar. “Oh and you’re the fucker who called me a bitch, huh?” In your drunkenly state you weren’t really angry but you absolutely made it clear to him that’s not how you talk to a woman.

He seemed unimpressed by your reply and he wasn’t planning on apologising as you could tell. Fine. You just realised he’s a total ass and you could tell you two are not gonna get along very well.

After all of them introduced to you, you were sharing a bottle of Jack with Slash. He was pretty drunk already but so were you.

Throughout the night you noticed Izzy looking your way many times. You wondered what his problem was but on the other side you didn’t really care.

“Wanna go to my dressing room?” Slash asked and your intoxicated brain agreed. When you stood up, that was when you started doubting your decision. The room was spinning and you felt yourself being grabbed by someone’s hands. As you turned your head you saw Izzy holding you by your arms so you could steady yourself.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to go with Slash right now. You can’t even stand.” You noticed his voice sounded almost concerned.

“I’m going with him.” You slurred, not being able to talk properly anymore. Shit, where did it get so bad?

“Maan just let her go,” slurred Slash, leaning on to the wall. He was just as shitfaced as you were but Izzy knew he’ll be okay. However he was not sure about you.

“No, you ain’t.” Izzy took your hand and sat you back down. You were trying to stand back up but there was no way you’d succeed in doing so.

He went and talked to Y/F/N for a bit and when he came back to where you were sitting he told you he was taking you home. At that point you weren’t fighting back anymore since the feeling of sickness washed over you. Hoping you wouldn’t throw up you let Izzy drag you thowards his car outside of the club.

Somehow you made it to the car without him dropping you and you falling. You were suprised how strong he was considering his skinny figure and you being only about two inches shorter than him.

As he sat you down at the passenger seat he met your eyes and for a moment only stared at you. “Like what you see huhh?” your voice echoed in your head and you knew you slurred-mumbled a good portion of what you just said.

“For fucks sake,” you heard him say while sighing and closing the door. After a few seconds as he went around the car, he opened his door and sat behind the steering wheel.

“Are you gonna be able to tell me where you live or am I too optimistic?” You could tell he was getting annoyed.

“What if you rob and kill me if I tell you?” You were trying to speak clearly but you didn’t know if it was working.

“So you are able to tell me?” He didn’t even care about your bullshitting.

“Yuuup. Just down the street and I’ll tell you when to stop.” You hoped he understood you but honestly you weren’t sure if you even care if he just decides to kick you out of the car.

After a few minutes you realised you were getting close. A few more seconds and you’ll be there.

“Stooop!” Your shout suprised him and he hit the breaks hard. Thankfully you were buckled up and if you weren’t you were pretty sure you’d smash your head on the frame.

“You know you could tell me sooner.” He got out of the car and seconds later the door on your side opened.

Izzy bowed down, took your arm and put it around his shoulders. He then put his hand on your waist and helped you out of the car. Stumbling up a few steps to your front door, you finally reached it. When Izzy saw you’re having trouble looking for your keys, he started to feel through your pockets and your purse. He found the keys and unlocked the door.

He sat you down on your couch and went in the kitchen to get you a glass of water.

“You have to drink it all, c’mon,” he told you, handing you a full glass. You did as he said.

About half an hour and about 5 glasses of water later you finally started to feel a bit better. You now could talk without slurring the words but you still felt sick.

“I think I’m gonna throw up.” Izzy again helped you up and you told him where the bathroom is. You got there just in time. You kneeled next to the toilet and started vomiting. A thought crossed your mind how it was funny that a guy who you despised and he despised you was now standing in your bathroom, holding your hair out of your face while you were emptying your stomach out.

It took you quite some time to clean yourself up, wash your hands and face and to empty your bladder after you were done throwing up. Izzy left you alone in the bathroom for that but he kept the door slightly open, just in case you fell or needed help.

Still light-headed and dizzy you stumbled to your bedroom. Izzy followed you closely and offered to help you but you declined. Not thinking about being inappropriate, you shimmied out of your skirt and took off you top, searching for a comfortable T-shirt in a closet. Izzy didn’t say a word but he did turn to face the wall to give you some privacy.

“I’m done, you can look.” You teased him a little. He turned around and helped you get to bed. After making sure you were gonna be okay he got you another glass of water on the nightstand.

“I’m gonna lock the door on my way out and give the keys to your friend since she’s most likely gonna spend the night at Axl’s room.”

“Okay.” You looked at him and only then you noticed how his black hair fell perfectly around his long face and how his lips moved when he talked. It was hard to admit to yourself but he was pretty hot.

“I’m gonna go now and you try to fall asleep okay?” His voice was soft and at the same time kind of raspy.

“Okay.” You gave him a small smile and he turned around to leave.

“Hey...thank you.” You stopped him before he could close your door.

“Yeah... goodnight Y/N.” He gave you a reassuring smile.

“Goodnight Izzy.” Your eyes met his one last time before he closed the door and left.

It didn’t take you long to fall asleep but frankly, you couldn’t get Izzy out of your head.

#izzy stradlin #fanfic #i know it took me extremely long #im sorry #i hope you like it #guns n roses #guns n roses fanfic #sarah writes

[yeonchi]

2020: Red Pill Year

At the end of every year, I write up a post to sum up what I did this year and share my (controversial) opinions of the year’s current affairs. My original plan was for this to be part of my end-of-year review post, but since it started getting long, I decided to split it into two posts. In this post, I’m going to be talking about current affairs; my wrap-up of the year will come in another post to be released on New Year’s Eve.

I’ve experienced a lot through my ten years on social media, but the events of the last four years (since graduating high school) have changed me a lot and led me to take the red pill on a few things. I suspect that being sheltered and isolated from society for at least 20 years contributed to some of my feelings and opinions.

From this point on, I’m going to be giving my opinions on current affairs, and I’ve been really looking forward to writing this given the year that we’ve had. Everything that’s happened feels like a perfect storm that if you were to go back in time and warn people of what would happen in 2020, you would be labelled a conspiracy theorist. Because I have a lot of things to talk about, I’ve split them up into sections under headings.

Let me warn you now, some of the things I’ll be saying will be controversial and there may be a few censored slurs in this. I’ve also peppered a few jokes here and there, so if you don’t get them, that’s on you. You are free to stop reading here, but if you decide to keep reading and you want to discuss anything about what I’ve said, I’ll only accept comments from people who have the ability to debate calmly without resorting to insults or are open-minded about their views. I have no time for idiots or brainlets.

My justification for using the n-word

I feel like I should address this before I go on. In January 2017, I shared an infamous Chris Rock sketch from 1996 where he decries African-American people whose actions spoil other peoples’ impressions of their community by acting in a criminal or stereotypical manner. As an Asian of Chinese ethnicity with family from Hong Kong, I have to admit that I’ve used the n-word (both soft-a and hard-r versions) to decry the actions of mainland Chinese people whose actions taint my view of them, or the stupidity of politicians in Hong Kong. I even started another page just so people on my news feed didn’t have to read some of the toxic shit I had to say.

Later that year, some gaijin bitch I was having a feud with found that page and reported every post where I said the n-word (that page barely had any fans, btw), which led me to be postblocked three times. He only agreed to stop when I called him out for being an asshole and told him to kill himself (like iDubbbz did Keemstar).

From that point on, I resolved to be less hateful online and one thing that I did was to stop using the n-word. However, the news that followed in the years after that made me realise that in insight, I was somehow correct in my justification and that the other guy was, whether intentional or not, being pro-China. The current climate of the internet, where censorship is rampant and people have a tendency to overreact to things that aren’t as much a problem as they think, has discouraged me from talking about current affairs like I used to and led me to doing so in these yearly posts instead.

“BUT YoU Can't USe THE N-Word, tHAT's oUr woRD” Shut the fuck up. Either everyone can say that word or nobody should be allowed to say that word (in any of its forms). This includes black people. iDubbbz’s Content Cop on Tana Mongeau made me realise this concept of gatekeeping over words because some people “own” the word or want to “take it back” is bullshit and dare I say, racist. The n-word has been used in songs and non-black people are known to listen to them, so how would you stop them from singing the word when it comes up?

In Chinese, the n-word translates to “black ghost”, but I prefer to define it as “black-hearted ghost” in order to cover “black-hearted” people of any race.

The homophobic f-slur (not to be mistaken for the f-word) is also a word of contention, particularly because of its initial usage on 4chan as an insult, which began to spread to the rest of the internet from about 2014 onwards. In my opinion, there’s not as much uproar over the f-slur compared to the n-word, particularly nowadays when there are more pressing things to be worried about.

If you keep reading on, you’ll get to see how angry I feel about certain things, particularly in some topics where I make reference to the n-word.

Coronavirus

Naming and pandemic management

In January, we were still dealing with fires that were burning various regions of Eastern Australia. I was on a cruise ship (not Princess Cruises) coming back to Sydney from New Zealand when I heard that biosecurity officials were starting to screen flights coming from Wuhan. Near the end of 2019, I had heard inklings of SARS-like pneumonia cases coming from Wuhan on Facebook pages about Hong Kong. Before we knew it, the coronavirus had become a worldwide pandemic.

The term “COVID-19″ was coined in February to describe the pneumonia caused by the virus, which was coined “SARS-CoV-2”. To be honest, I’m not fond of the terms “COVID” or “COVID-19” because even though it does make sense when you think about it (Coronavirus disease 2019), I honestly believe that this was an act of political correctness by the WHO and China to protect people’s “feelings” by obscuring the fact that the first cases of the coronavirus were found in Wuhan, putting the blame on other countries for creating the virus and brushing off the effect that this virus has had on the people of Wuhan, China and the world. Therefore, I believe that the virus started in Wuhan until there is proof beyond all reasonable doubt that the virus came from somewhere else. Pro-democracy supporters in Hong Kong and Taiwan still refer to it as the “Wuhan pneumonia” (武漢肺炎) because of these reasons whereas officials and pro-establishment supporters refer to it by its politically correct name (新型肺炎/新冠肺炎). I’ve referred to it as the “Wuhan coronavirus” once at the start of the year, but I just refer to it as “coronavirus” now. Frankly, it would have been better if we all just called it SARS 2.0. Given “SARS-CoV-2″, it makes sense. Hell, I’d even call it the “n-word f-slur virus” after iDubbbz’s favourite compound slur, but I digress. For the record, I’m not too keen on Trump naming it the “China virus” over “Wuhan virus” or any other name.

This wasn’t the main thing that pissed me off about the WHO, however. Taiwan had managed to manage the epidemic quite well early on, which only resulted in 7 people dying (since May 2020) whereas the virus is still rampant in the US and Europe at the time of writing. In an interview with Assistant Director-General Bruce Aylward on 28 March, he awkwardly denied to respond to comments regarding Taiwan’s management of the epidemic and whether the WHO would consider giving them membership. Later, on 8 April, WHO Director-General Tedros Adhanom claimed that he was subjected to racial abuse coming from Taiwan.

If I could use the n-word to describe China, its government and the people who support them, then the WHO are a bunch of n-word-lovers, which is really ironic given that a literal n-word like Tedros is running the fucking WHO. I’m sick of Taiwan being portrayed as the underdog by China and n-word-lover countries breaking ties with Taiwan in favour of China. And frankly, a fucking crybaby like Tedros deserves all the racial abuse he gets for that allegation about Taiwan.

I don’t deny that the WHO has done good for the world over the years, but when it came to the coronavirus, it’s like they’ve been deliberately trying to appease China. China’s initial management of the coronavirus has been less than ideal, which is why I still point the blame at them for allowing the pandemic to get to where it is now (apparently they did similar things back during SARS, but I digress). I suspect that there have been more cases and deaths in China than what has been reported, but since many countries have had more cases and deaths than China at this point, I truly believe that we shouldn’t be pointing fingers until the pandemic has been suppressed.

Racism

Moving onto coronavirus racism now and dear god, I wish Asians living in Western countries would just shut the fuck up about coronavirus racism and check their privilege. As an Asian living in a Western country (ironic, I know), it honestly bugs me how much I see Asians crying and playing the victim card (particularly on NextAsian, whose audience is the Asian-American community) when I haven’t experienced as much racial abuse from other people in my life (probably because I haven’t been going outside as much during lockdown, let alone before). Look, yes, I’m not denying that racism still exists, but people need to understand that changing attitudes in society have led to cases of racism falling over the years and there are Asians living in Asian countries who are probably more oppressed than your house being graffitied or a Karen at the supermarket calling you “coronavirus”. If you call out someone for doing or saying something racist, like making squinty eyes in a photo or being white and selling Asian food at their restaurant (particularly if the comment or action is not directed at you), then you’re just taking someone else’s problem and making it yours. People need to learn to mind their own fucking business.

I remember arriving at the train station on my way to uni one time and hearing a man ranting about “fucking Japs” as he walked past. The comment wasn’t directed at me (I’m not Japanese btw), he didn’t make eye contact with me and I don’t recall him coming back or saying anything else either, so I just let it go. In short, it’s not just Westerners or the media who needs to change their attitudes of racial perception. Much as I hate to say it, Asians living in the West need to change their attitudes as to how they deal with racism. Here’s a tip - just say “ok cracker” and move on.

Don’t get me wrong, I agree that Chinese people shouldn’t be blamed for starting or spreading the coronavirus. But were Middle Eastern people blamed for starting or spreading MERS back in 2012? No, they weren’t (or at least I haven’t heard anything about it because racists were still worried about Muslims being terrorists). This comes back to my complaint about political correctness in naming the virus and my point that we shouldn’t be pointing fingers until we have the pandemic under control.

Lockdowns

Taking a look at lockdowns now and as I said, the lockdown has given me a good excuse to do a lot of things as a NEET that I would have doubts doing otherwise. I’ve been trying to find a job for years with no luck and right now, I’m on the cusp of getting one, which is why I’m aiming to finish my personal project by the end of next year. Weekly hotpots and takeaways became staples for my family during the lockdown and because of that, I hope to get back to the gym soon, as the one I go to is right in the city and I still have a lot of unused visits on a pass I bought at the start of the year (if I had known things were going to end up like this, I probably would have forgone gym for the year).

As a university student, I can say that I dodged a bullet, because there was a risk that Grade 6 and Year 12 students would not be able to attend their graduation ceremonies. I had planned on doing two additional subjects this year in addition to the one I still had left, but the lockdown quashed those plans and I decided to end it there. To be honest, it could have been worse. Someone on CUHK Secrets who was born in 1997 was talking about how they were unable to attend their graduation ceremonies because of various factors; they couldn’t attend their kindergarten graduation in 2003 because of SARS, they couldn’t attend their primary school graduation in 2009 because of swine flu, they couldn’t attend their secondary school graduation in 2015 due to bad timing, they couldn’t attend their undergrad ceremony in 2019 because of the protests, and they couldn’t attend their masters ceremony this year because of the coronavirus.

There have been a lot of people who were affected by the lockdowns, whether it be losing their jobs, businesses or loved ones before they got a chance to see them among others. The lockdowns have particularly made an impact in Melbourne, where the second wave has led to compulsory face masks, a nightly curfew and a “ring of steel” with regional Victoria. My sympathies go out to everyone affected and I want to say that if there was an easier way for us to get through lockdown, maybe by allowing people to see loved ones out of our travel zones, then we would probably have taken it. People advocating against lockdowns and people advocating for or defending lockdowns are two ends of the spectrum; if we tried to find a middle ground, then we would probably have gaps through which more cases could come in. I don’t doubt that the lockdown has helped get the numbers down and allowed us to get back to normal quicker, but I wish that there would have been a way for people to see their dying loved ones in person. Are lockdowns a conspiracy to get us to stay at home? I disagree. I’m pretty sure that even evil overlords would want us to get back to buying and consuming things as soon as possible, though maybe I’m being a bit too optimistic.

Hong Kong

The situation in general

Taking a look at the situation in Hong Kong over the past year and everything that’s happened just proved my opinions right. Protests aside, the way that they have managed the coronavirus has been subpar to the point that they are now dealing with a fourth wave when Melbourne has just managed to overcome the second wave. The situation is more precarious in Hong Kong not only because of population density (there are lots of residential high-rise flats there), but also because they’ve been through SARS, bird flu and swine flu before. The main reason why we’re in this situation is because not only did the government not close the border to mainland China, but the exceptions they imposed were too lenient that they were allowing people to come (back) into Hong Kong without having to observe 14 days quarantine. And on top of that, they’re offering $5000 HKD subsidies to positive cases in an effort to encourage the lower class to get tested, like that isn’t going to lead to people purposefully trying to contract the virus just to get their hands on that money, given the mentality of these people. At least other countries have guidelines and strict criteria with their subsidies.

It’s interesting that this perfect storm and the protests that started it all were a result of a cuck patrolling a thot, the thot’s mother going to a pro-Beijing party to seek justice and the government exploiting this whole situation to push the extradition law, then exploiting the chaos caused by the protests to push the national security law before throwing the thot’s mother away like a used condom. Nice to know that incels and MGTOWs have the power to change society, but not in the way they would probably want it.

Jokes aside, there have been so many things that have happened over the last 18 months that it would be impossible for me to state them all, like boomers wearing white clothes lynching young people wearing black clothes (KKK vibes, anyone), riot police entering a train station and attacking everyone inside and the police siding with boomers, gangsters and the government against young people. More recently, there’s the 12 young people who were arrested at sea as part of a government conspiracy to get them arrested in Chinese waters, the saga over the pro-democracy politicians resigning en masse and all the police shit that’s still going on.

I don’t blame anyone who has decided to leave Hong Kong because of all this, and I don’t blame anyone who has decided to stay, maybe because they don’t have the ability nor the resources to move or maybe because they want to be there when we get to the end of the tunnel, or rather, the bottom of the pot as they would say. My family moved to Australia in the 80′s because my grandparents were concerned about what would happen to Hong Kong after the handover; if they were still alive today, they and probably many others would have been proven right.

I know a lot of people say that it’s bad to attack your opponents, but these events have made me so angry that I have to say this (besides, I’ve held these views since 2014 and don’t tell me you wouldn’t attack a Trump or Biden supporter this way because let’s face it, you probably have). If you don’t want to talk about the Hong Kong protests, that’s fine, but if you decide to stand against the protesters (or stand with the Hong Kong government, the Chinese government and/or the police), then you are an n-word if you are Asian or an n-word lover if you are not and I have no sympathy for black-hearted ghosts like you.

Some people have said that these protests were more successful than Occupy Central and I have to agree. While we did make an impact on the international stage, not very many of us were united in our goals or willing to keep the movement going, so Occupy Central basically ended in failure. This time around, governments around the world have started taking measures against China, resulting in their crybaby spokespeople condemning foreign interference every time the US or some other country announces sanctions or other shit towards China. It’s really funny that this is all they can do without being the first country to trigger the start of World War Three; if the sanctioned individuals don’t have interests or assets in foreign countries, then why are these n-words so concerned about this?

A philosophy that the protesters have adopted is the doctrine of laam chau (攬炒), also known as “phoenixism” or “if we burn, you burn with us”, a line from The Hunger Games. Both the Hong Kong and Chinese governments have criticised this doctrine because they believe that they will only end up destroying Hong Kong themselves, but has it ever occurred to anyone that, given everything that’s happened over the past 18 months, including the arrests and whatnot, it is actually them who are laam chau-ing us (and the world as well)?

Families have also been split over this entire issue as well. It’s honestly bullshit how some people, particularly boomers, put their patriotism and support for the police over the rest of their family, particularly those who support the protesters. It’s no better than disowning your child just because they came out as LGBT. Frankly, if I was that petty with parents who supported the government and the police, I’d just dump them in a home and never visit them. It’s the most humane thing I’d probably do, but I wouldn’t do it because a) my parents aren’t that stupid and b) I care enough about my parents to not be petty over this bullshit.

It’s honestly weird and fascinating how boomers can parrot the government’s (or any other pro-government organisation’s) position on anything and be smug about it. The only reason why boomers can be so “passionate” about being patriotic is because they’re usually coaxed with free money and free food. At any other time, they don’t need to do anything because the government are on their side so they can do all the heavy work for them. Their lack of education and addiction to TVB news also contributes to this.

Speaking of TVB, the mainstream media in Hong Kong is no longer our friend. The only media outlets we can still trust are those who are pro-democracy or those who are still trying very hard to remain neutral, such as Apple Daily or RTHK. Now TV and Cable TV were touted as alternative news sources, but they’ve been taken over by executives who used to work for TVB or aTV (remember when it was still a thing?). When the protests started in 2019, there was a movement to boycott all businesses advertising on TVB or having TVB on their televisions because of their bias toward the government and the police. The organisers of the Facebook page behind it were arrested in April, but another page sprang up soon after. Some artists and employees working for TVB were shelved, had their contracts cancelled or decided to resign because their views did not toe the party line. Good on them for resigning, I’d say, because there are many better places they could be useful at. God, it’s so weird how a cultural institution that defined our childhoods has now become an enemy.

Hong Kong protests vs. Black Lives Matter

When the Black Lives Matter movement came back to prominence in May following the death of George Floyd, I feared that this was an attempt to derail the Hong Kong protests by providing the world with a “convenient” distraction. I mean, people love black dicks more than Asian dicks, amirite? However, I was surprised when BLM protesters were willing to learn off HK protesters, because it shows that they must have been doing something right, I guess.

In spite of this, I have to say that BLM haven’t gotten enough ideas off of Hongkongers. BLM supporters encourage the boycotting of stores and businesses that are against BLM and the support of those that support BLM, but do you have any centralised platforms to collect that information? That’s right, I’m talking about the yellow economic circle of Hong Kong, where we boycott (read: “renovate”) stores and businesses that are pro-police or pro-government and support (read: “punish”) stores and businesses that support the protesters or embrace similar pro-democracy ideologies.

Funnily enough, pro-establishment politicians, supporters and media mock and laugh at us for our economic circle, but I don’t see them trying to copy us even though we’ve compiled a list of stores and businesses that are on their side so we can boycott them. Consumers have the right to procure goods and services from any business they choose, regardless of political stance; to condemn consumers for choosing businesses based on their political stances is not only biased, but anti-consumer. If BLM can put out an app that serves the purposes of the BLM economic circle and, at the same time, piss off Republican politicians and supporters (not just Trump supporters), I can finally say they’ve done something right. 

One thing that really pissed me off was that n-words and n-word-lovers were actually saying that the Hong Kong protests should not be compared with the BLM protests. Through a quote tweet, I’m going to debunk their claims of the two being “polar opposites”, skipping over things (mostly related to BLM) that are already obvious.

The first thing I should point out is that they state “Minneapolis riots” when they’re obviously trying to support BLM. Doesn’t BLM disavow violence and rioting?

Racism: How are the Hong Kong protests “racist”? If this is about “racism” towards Mainland Chinese people, then your argument is invalid because they are the same race and that’s not what the word means. If this is about minorities living in Hong Kong, then that’s beside the point of the protests. If anything, Hongkongers have connected with minorities more than ever before.

Trump: Face it, the only reason why the Hong Kong protests are “pro-Trump” is because he’s been vocal in his opposition to China and “orange man bad”. Activists are seeking bipartisan support because they don’t want to see Hong Kong become a bargaining chip between two candidates and importantly, bills and acts regarding Hong Kong have received bipartisan support in Congress.

White-Americanism: Where the fuck do they get this from, honestly? Is this another “all white people are racist” argument?

Colonialism: This argument cannot be used for BLM because it’s centred in America, a country which the US government obviously owns. As for Hong Kong, I’m gonna have to play devil’s advocate on this one. It’s extremely wishful thinking to think that the UK or US will send their forces in to Hong Kong because China can easily send out their troops, who have bases in Hong Kong. Therefore, it’s also extremely wishful thinking to think that they will take control of Hong Kong in any capacity. Some people support this international intervention in the hope of eventual independence, but it’s wishful thinking as well with China as they are now.

Capitalism: Honestly, they’ve got it backwards here. Many companies in the US (and the world) have spoken up or taken steps in support of Black Lives Matter while many companies in Hong Kong tend to support the government and China. It’s not really a case of pro or anti-capitalism, but rather who has capitalism on their side.

Funding: Personally, if the Hong Kong protests were funded by the CIA (or NED), then there would have been something on WikiLeaks and the mainstream media (despite people’s disdain for them) would have covered it by now and not just the Chinese media. Therefore, I’m sceptical of this because it’s not common knowledge proven beyond all reasonable doubt. As for BLM, the same thing can be said of them apparently being funded by Chinese interests.

Spontaneous vs. Intricate: Doesn’t an uprising or protest need planning? Wouldn’t the “spontaneous risings” of BLM also be “intricately organised” as well? Weren’t the “intricately organised riots” in Hong Kong also “spontaneous”? This is going into conspiracy territory, which makes them no better than the conspiracy theorists they disavow.

Weaponless vs. Deadly Weapons: Like bricks, umbrellas and other things can compare to tear gas, rubber bullets and water cannons. Yes, there were molotov cocktails and shit, but the point here is to not excuse one protest and criticise the other when there have been documented cases of violence by both police and protesters in both protests. To that point, I believe that no revolution can happen without violence on both sides.

In short, the people who made this are n-words and anyone who unironically believes this are n-words who get their news from n-word sources. The claims made are very superficial and no attempt was made at backing up their claims, even outside of Twitter. Also, I find it ironic that these people are showing their support for one marginalised group while perpetuating hate for another when the whole point of Black Lives Matter and other similar movements is about fighting against hate and injustice (though I guess I shouldn’t be surprised by these people, especially given that there have been cases of anti-black racism in China). Yes, the Hong Kong protests and the Black Lives Matter protests are different, but there are common factors in both of them and supporters of both groups should stand together against hate and injustice. To stand with one but not the other is nothing short of hypocrisy, and I say this not just for those who support BLM but not HK, but also for those who support HK but not BLM. Even if you only believe in the underlying causes, namely being against racism and police brutality (and also violence), that’s all that really matters.

All lives don’t matter until black lives matter and all lives don’t matter until (young) Hongkonger lives matter.

In regards to ACAB

At the start of the year, in my review for the Doctor Who episode Orphan 55, I said that climate change protesters should check their privilege in regards to police brutality. This was because Hongkongers have suffered more compared to those vegans and if their countries were in the same situation as Hong Kong or China, they wouldn’t be able to protest in the first place. After hearing of the police brutality at BLM protests and weighing everything up, I’ve become an ACAB person now.

I’ve held this attitude in regards to the police in Hong Kong since 2014, but I’ve been iffy to say the same for police in places like the US or Australia. An old friend of mine from primary school looks like the type of person who would support ACAB, but she is actually against it. I never understood why until she posted some toxic tweets on her Instagram story showing some ACABers celebrating the death of someone’s father, who was a member of the police force, and explained that she didn’t support ACAB because she didn’t support the toxicity surrounding the people who support it.

Over time, I’ve come to realise that ACAB symbolises a deeper problem that can’t be solved by only dealing with the shallower problems. As the saying goes, “a few bad apples spoil the barrel” - good cops will eventually become bad cops as they are silenced into submission to cover up the actions of other bad cops. In Hong Kong, there is another saying - “好仔唔當差”/“Good men don’t become cops”. Look, I don’t deny that there are good cops and bad cops and that it is the system that is corrupt. That can be said for other countries, but for Hong Kong, I believe that the notion of good cops still existing there is well and truly dead. That notion is so dead that some Hongkongers mock the police and their families with phrases like “while the cop’s on overtime, the wife has a threesome”.

Anyone who mocks ACAB by saying things like “well, what if you really need the police someday” is missing the point. Yes, we need the police force and there are good cops out there, but what ACABers are looking for is a change in the system so that there is more scrutiny over police being held accountable for their actions. If it means calling for an independent investigation/inquiry into or the disbanding of the (current) police force, then so be it. How can we trust the police to enforce the law if they can’t uphold the laws that they are beholden to?

Last year, I read a tweet from a Mainland Chinese person living in Australia who is supportive of the pro-democracy movement in Hong Kong. He says that any person who supports the police is an idiot because if their enforcement of the law is lawful, then they don’t need your support, but if their enforcement of the law is unlawful, then you might be the next person to be beaten up by them.

Speaking of climate change protests, Greta Thunberg finally said something useful that isn’t about climate change- wait, you say she was nominated to say it? Oh well, it was a nice try.

Oh, and by the way, Leticia Lee (李偲嫣), a pigfucker who has been supporting the Hong Kong police since before Occupy Central, has died of what is suspected to be the coronavirus. All cops are bastards and so are the people who support them.

The US elections

I never thought I’d be saying this, but I honestly hoped that Donald Trump would be reelected for four more years. I honestly hoped that the left wouldn’t learn from 2016 and not attack people who disagree with them, but yet they still managed to get Joe Biden elected while still attacking those who disagree with them. You could say that BLM was what turned the scales, but I think that Trump’s management of the coronavirus was what did it. I guess you can manipulate elections by manipulating people’s feelings, only this time around, Trump wasn’t good enough in that aspect.

On a side note, has anyone ever considered that some people can’t accept other people’s opinions if they aren’t willing to compromise and look at things from their point of view? These people wonder why others can’t accept their opinions and viewpoints and then get surprised when they say “fuck it” and double down on their own opinions and viewpoints while completely rejecting the opinions and viewpoints other people want them to even consider.

When Trump was elected in 2016, I only saw it as an ironic meme in that there would be a rise in unemployment figures as Trump personally went to every workplace and told everyone “You’re fired” given how he used to host The Apprentice. A lot of celebrities and people around me on social media started becoming anti-Trump like it was a meme. I’ve never been a fan of Trump myself, but SJW bullshit aside, seeing the measures he (and the Republicans) took against China in response to the situation in Hong Kong gradually warmed me to him. He was the one who led the US to take the first step when no other country was brave enough to. It’s the reason why some Hongkongers and Taiwanese people feel the same way.

I’ve heard some people say that Trump isn’t really going to help Hong Kong and that he is doing all this just to benefit himself. Firstly, it’s not just Trump, but also other Republicans (and maybe even Democrats) who are pushing for action within the US government, and secondly, what makes you think Biden will do anything for Hong Kong after Obama never did anything following Occupy Central? I thought that a second Trump term would be the best thing for Hong Kong, but now that things have ended up this way, I hope that the Biden administration will be just as hard on China compared to now (given what I said about bipartisan support). If Biden decides to reverse the sanctions on China, well, don’t say the right didn’t warn you about “China Joe”.

Do I believe that the election was rigged? Maybe and maybe not. The left was crying about Russian interference back in 2016 and yet here we are. Frankly, I can accept the result of the election because I have a bad feeling that, according to some on the right, Joe Biden will be deposed in favour of Kamala Harris, who has been elected vice-president. On one hand, I don’t believe it will happen because it sounds like a conspiracy theory, but on the other hand, I don’t think Biden will serve out the whole of his first term or his second term if he gets reelected.

As I’ve said for two elections in a row on the Waifu Network: Well may we say “God save the world”, because nothing will save the United States of America!

China (and why I’ve used the n-word in relation to them)

With China seemingly being victimised daily by “attacks” and “interference” from other countries, it’s hard not to think of them as absolute crybabies. It’s essentially how I feel about Asians living in Western countries and crying about racism (see above). It’s not the first time these Ken/Karen-like attitudes have been put on show and they certainly won’t be the last. But how did mainland Chinese people become such Kens and Karens (if you want a better term other than “n-words”) after a glorious history of ancient knowledge and understanding? People have discussed this over the years and this post is an attempt at distilling what I’ve read and what I think. Information has been sourced from this Reddit ELI5 post, this blog by Jeraldine Phneah and this article from The Diplomat.  Hopefully you’ll understand all of this after you read it.

From 1839, there was a long history of violence and instability in China that took a particularly dark turn when the CCP took power in 1949. Movements like the Great Leap Forward and the Cultural Revolution not only killed a lot of people in an attempt to modernise China with Western influences (if it weren’t for that, Chinese people would probably still be wearing changshans and qipaos like in historical dramas instead of using computers and smartphones), but drove a lot of people into fear and poverty as food was rationed, salary was standardised and people were encouraged to dob in other people for being intellectuals, disagreeing with the government or hiding their wealth from the government. This resulted in society becoming “every man for himself” as people were forced to do anything they could to survive. The hukou system back then meant that people couldn’t move from place to place, so many poor people ended up working in factories and living in crowded dormitories where modesty is neither a privilege nor a right. On top of that, not many people back then were able to get a good education like we do today, so lower-class people were encouraged to mimic what upper-class people did. Given the living conditions of Chinese society back then, one can only imagine the kind of corruption happening amongst the upper class that would be mimicked by the lower class.

During the Deng Xiaoping era of the late-70′s and 80′s, China saw large growths in economy, production, infrastructure and technology. While the quality of life did begin improving, a lot of the mentalities of the Mao Zedong era remained. Regulations couldn’t keep up with industry and the environment became polluted as a result. Factories began cutting corners and as a result, subpar quality, if not fake, products began appearing on the market. Poor people became rich very quickly and the “every man for himself” mentality became inherited into materialism. People began buying impulsively and buying more daily essentials than they needed even though there was no crisis and life had improved since the Cultural Revolution. If you people thought toilet paper shortages were the first of its kind, then you don’t know about formula shortages. If you thought the rise of daigou services in the past five years were the first of its kind, then you don’t know about parallel trading and the 2008 Chinese formula scandal.

Now we get to the main point of the topic. With the economic boom in China, more and more people began travelling to other places where people lived better lives in the past than they did in China. However, due to the lack of education and/or exposure to foreign cultures for many people, they were never taught the etiquette of being wealthy or being in another country. While some tourists try to understand the history and culture of other countries, mainland Chinese tourists tend to just buy expensive shit because they’ve apparently got a lot of money to waste. On top of that, there are tourists who tend to gravitate towards their own culture, for example they might eat at Chinese restaurants instead of trying out other places that aren’t Chinese. It’s why their market is so lucrative to many businesses and companies because these n-words will spend money on anything (or if they can get it for free, like buffet food on cruise ships, they’ll gorge on it).

In Chinese culture, loudness and positivity (熱鬧) is a good thing to them because it means that everyone is happy and whatever they are doing is fun. It’s why you tend to hear them being loud; it’s because they’re happy. But what they don’t understand is that not everyone likes this noise pollution and so, they end up thinking that Chinese tourists are annoying. As for modesty (i.e. going to the toilet on the street), refer back to the crowded dormitories bit from earlier; in fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if families have three or more generations living in the one house nowadays.

From this, you can see where Hongkongers’ sentiments on mainland Chinese people come from. In the past, people were fleeing to Hong Kong to escape communist rule; following the 1997 handover, 150 people are migrating to Hong Kong every day while people are fleeing to other countries for a better life. With more and more mainlanders moving to Hong Kong, “mainlandisation” measures such as the use of Mandarin instead of Cantonese in schools and national education is causing mainlander immigration to become cultural enrichment (at least in my opinion). This is part of the reason why Hongkongers tend not to identify as Chinese and why all these protests have occurred over the years.

I’m gonna have to call this post here because it is getting long(er than usual) and I need to write my end-of-year review post. There are two things that I also became redpilled on, namely Doctor Who and censorship, particularly on the internet, which I’ll cover in the post to be released on New Year’s Eve.

I’ve tried my best to cover everything I could in this, but I make no guarantee that I’ve covered everything I wanted to cover because there is just too much. I hope people can understand why I feel a certain way about certain things and be civil in their discourse.

I look forward to cranking it on the moon when the struggle in Hong Kong is over.

[missmeikakuna]

(GL/Yuri) Shoujo Heroine… and Friends Chapter 1

It's heeeeeeeeere! Please comment your thoughts and like it if you, well, like it.

Rated: T

Fandom: Original story

Relationship type: F/F with some F/M

Description:

Sahana is friendly, innocent and optimistic, making her the perfect shoujo anime heroine… except she’s not the main character of this story.

When school prince Toyomi asks her out, she starts hanging out with him and leaves her friends behind. Prim and proper Masami and tomboyish slob Kunie don’t seem to have much in common outside of their friendship with Sahana, but they try to make the best out of a lonely situation.

So why is the god of love and marriage watching them, red string of fate at the ready? CONTENT WARNING: Some homophobic language and bullying.

Chapter 1: I guess we’re friends 

Sahana was one of those kids who smiled more than she should. Yes, even when surrounded by five girls whose glares screamed, ‘He’s ours!’

She was going to be doubly late if the girls didn’t leave her alone, so naturally, she finished the now cold toast in her hand. No way was she going to risk choking to death by running to school with it in her mouth.

This would be the time when I’d tell you about how she was an ordinary girl who somehow got whisked off to a magical land or something. You know, ordinary except for the bright pink hair in short pigtails and the gigantic blue eyes that I could compare to some gemstone. Yeah, no. I mean, for one thing, this isn’t a fantasy story. Also, she isn’t our main character.

A girl with a bright red ponytail and matching eyes sprinted to Sahana and used her arms as a barrier between her and her bullies.

‘Back off before I cook your intestines and feed them to my dog,’ she said in the voice of a noblewoman. You know the voice.

One of the girls claimed that such a threat didn’t scare them, but they all took a few steps back at the exact same time, stopping when one of them bumped into someone. This time it was a tall and thin but muscular girl with short blonde hair and icy blue eyes.

 ‘Now, Masami, that’s a bit extreme,’ she said to the redhead, her voice deep and slightly hoarse. ‘I doubt your dog would want to eat these girls’ intestines. Don’t be so cruel to him.’

The girls ran as far as they could, then turned around and headed to where they were supposed to go.

‘You guys didn’t have to do that,’ Sahana said in a sweet, high-pitched voice, looking up at these girls who were much taller than her. ‘But thanks!’

Masami and the blonde girl enveloped Sahana in a bone-crushingly tight hug. It didn’t take long for Sahana to notice the crumbs on the blonde-haired girl’s face, which gave her an excellent opportunity to namedrop the character. Thank you, Sahana, for making my job easier.

‘Were you running late too, Kunie?’

Masami let go of Sahana and crossed her arms. ‘She was eating breakfast in the classroom. Honestly! Crumbs everywhere! I was just about to tell her off when I heard one of those girls badmouth you.’

Kunie yawned and stretched her arms. ‘Whatever. Sorry I don’t have a butler serve me a three-course meal every morning and wipe my face with banknotes.’

‘I don’t either! That’s no excuse! Honestly, you are so….’ Masami and Kunie looked at Sahana with apologetic eyes and Masami coughed until her word disappeared. ‘Anyway, what caused you to be late?’

Sahana dropped her smile and furrowed her eyebrows. ‘When I woke up and looked through my window, I realised that my drapes don’t match my carpet.’ Masami covered her mouth to stop herself from doing what Kunie was openly doing: laughing. Sahana continued. ‘I wonder if I should dye my carpet to match the drapes. What do you think?’ Kunie started wheezing. ‘What’s wrong? Did I say something weird?’

Kunie patted her shoulder. ‘You’ll find out when you’re older.’

Sahana pouted because of course she did. Whenever she does this I kind of want to pinch her chubby cheeks, not going to lie.

‘I’m the same age as you,’ she murmured before returning to her smiling state. ‘Hey, do you know where Toyomi is? He messaged me about how he wants to talk to me about something.’

Before getting an answer from either friend, she heard trumpets and turned around. I don’t know where they came from either. That’s Benzaiten’s realm.

Whatever the answer may be, what’s important is that the trumpets signalled the arrival of Toyomi. Toyomi with the peacock-blue hair in a bob and oceanic eyes. Toyomi with the smile that made those miniature oceans look warmer. Toyomi with the hordes of fangirls who looked at each other like snipers preparing to shoot.

With a flick of the wrist he held out his hand and Sahana graciously took it. Well then, I guess she really did get whisked away, just to a secluded spot so he could recite a poem he had written for her. He also handed her a little bag of chocolates he had made, which she immediately began eating.

‘Would you like to go out with me?’ he asked her with soft eyes and a saccharine voice.

‘Of course!’ Sahana answered with pink cheeks and a grin that could melt the paint off a door.

Toyomi jumped up and clapped quickly. ‘Thank you! I knew that manga was right. I got to your heart through your stomach.’

The two held hands and stared at each other in a way that passers-by would have found weird but was perfect for them.

Now let’s get back to the actual protagonist of this story. After heading back into the classroom, Masami smoothed her knee-length skirt behind her as she sat in her seat. Unlike Sahana, her seat was at the front of the classroom rather than near the back by the window. Kunie took the middle seat at the very back, completely opposite to Masami. She sat with her legs open, a certain region only just covered by her short skirt, and picked her ear.

A girl from another class entered the room and handed Kunie a letter with a crown sticker on the front. Before Kunie could respond, the girl zipped out of there.

Our protagonist scowled at the empty food packets on Kunie’s desk. She had no clue why anyone would want to go near that desk without a vacuum cleaner. Fair enough.

Kunie read the letter and sighed. A petit girl with long, wavy, light golden brown hair leaned towards her from her seat next to her. She wore a smirk that made it increasingly difficult for Kunie not to groan.

‘I’m sensing a pattern here. Maybe if you showed an interest in Prince Toyomi, this wouldn’t keep happening. Honestly, how many lezzos are in this school anyway?’

Kunie shrugged. ‘You tell me. You seem to be the expert, Dooru.’

The girl looked at her like she had just been accused of throwing a baby into a river. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

‘Then again, I guess a prince and a prince don’t go together. I mean, can you imagine it?’

Kunie slammed her hands against her desk. ‘I’m not a prince!’ she yelled.

Dooru snickered. ‘Sure, your highness. I will ignore the love letter on your desk, my liege.’

Before Kunie could respond, the trumpets returned and Toyomi took his seat, followed by Sahana and eventually the teacher.

Masami actually, no, really, actually clicked her tongue in scorn as she looked at the clock. Ten minutes and thirty-two seconds late. Miss Date ran her fingers through her oily red hair and breathed a sigh of relief.

Another click of the tongue from Masami. Any more and her tongue was bound to hurt. ‘Um, excuse me, Miss Date, may I ask why you are so-’

‘That’s Ukiwa to you,’ the teacher said with a grin and finger guns.

I apologise. Ukiwa opened the roll book and called everyone’s names. Masami noticed a hickey peeking out from behind the teacher’s shirt collar.

Masami reached under her desk for her pencil case but felt plastic wrap. She pulled out a bag of cookies and a tiny teddy bear. She didn’t even have to look at the tag to know who it was from.

She turned her head and saw Fumie, a thin and frail-looking girl who wore her mint hair with violet tips in high pigtails. She had eyes of different colours, one matching the top of her hair and the other matching the tips. A cross hung from her neck. The girl had a hopeful face and one thumb up. Masami saw her clean desk and smiled at her. When she turned back around, she noticed other students holding bags of cookies.

When lunch arrived, Sahana bowed her head and held her hands up as if praying. ‘I’ll hang out with you guys next time, I swear! I just want to have some alone time with Toyomi.’

Masami and Kunie were about to respond but Sahana and Toyomi had already disappeared by that point. All they could do was look at each other and shrug.

They both took their lunch to Sahana’s desk and giggled. ‘I guess we should go somewhere else this time,’ Kunie said.

They sat at Kunie’s desk because Masami refused to let Kunie dirty hers. Masami held up her bento box rather than attempting to fit it on the tiny rubbish-free space on Kunie’s desk. They ate lunch quietly, Masami picking her own brain for a topic of conversation.

All she could contribute was, ‘So, uh, it’s kind of weird, isn’t it? How we haven’t hung out by ourselves before.’

Kunie nodded, swallowing the piece of fish in her mouth before continuing. ‘Yeah. I mean, we’re supposed to be friends, right?’

‘Yeah, I guess we’re friends.’ Masami almost corrected her blunder but she kept her mouth shut in case she made another.

Now I know what it’s like to pray to the gods and hear nothing but silence.

As if answering my own prayers, eventually the trumpets returned and Toyomi sauntered in the classroom, followed by Sahana. Gitan, a stocky boy with messy black hair and a tan, sneered at the peacockish boy with the glowing face.

‘Finally got yourself a boyfriend?’ he asked.

Toyomi gave him a smile. ‘I’m not sure I understand your question. Why would I want a boyfriend? I already have a girlfriend and I don’t like boys that way. But thank you for caring about me!’

Gitan rolled his eyes, muttered some slurs under his breath and turned in his seat towards Masami and Kunie, grinning when Sahana grabbed a chair and sat in between them. He took a pencil and sketched Masami and Sahana holding hands between their chests and looking into each other’s eyes. In reality, they were simply sitting and talking.

‘So what did you get up to without me?’ Sahana asked her friends, who shrugged in perfect unison.

#lesbian #yuri #anime #fiction #romance #writing #LGBT #lgbt romance #Breaking Stereotypes #original fiction #drama #comedy #parody #Shoujo Heroine... and Friends

[paniccord-ff]

27. Part 6

Running down the steps “Chris please, don’t go” grabbing his jacket, he is hurting me so much because I am sorry and he is walking away from me, walking around him “I know you are drunk but please, listen to me and stay with me. I want to come with you” Chris placed his hand over my face “talk too much, open the door” he moved his hand away from my face “what the hell is happening? You will wake your mother!” my dad said, sucking back the tears that were going to fall “Chris is drunk dad” Blake said, Chris fell forward a little and held my shoulder “so where is he going?” my dad walked down the steps “pops, nigga we going” Chris slurred out “we going home” I can’t even shut him up “like this? Chris, you can’t go anywhere like this” my dad moved me out of the way “why don’t we do this tomorrow” my dad turned Chris around “no” Chris hit my dad’ hand away “she don’t love me, don’t you see. I can’t be here” my dad stared at Chris in confusion “what happened?” my dad asked, I couldn’t control myself and cried out “nah, nah I can’t!” Chris dropped the bag on the ground, trying to walk by my dad “I do love him, oh my god. Why is he doing this!? Why are you punishing me over something so small” I sobbed out “you know what Chris, I was thinking that I should take you. We ride together, you tell me everything about Rylee” my dad opened the front door, Chris dragged his feet walking out “what you doing dad?” tears fell “stay here, if he wants to go home then he will” my dad picked up Chris’ bag from the ground “his bodyguards could take him” Blake pointed saying.

I don’t why Blake is awake with me, I don’t even know why my dad went with Chris. He could’ve just let him go on his own, I am so hurt by Chris reacting this way with me when I barely did anything to him “why was Chris saying you don’t love him? Did y’all fight?” Blake finally asked, I knew he was waiting to ask this, flicking the tear that fell “he said I was flirting with Kyrie, I was just happy to see him. I touched his arm and he got upset about that, Chris is insecure that I will leave him and cheat” Blake let out an oh “then why do that? Shit is mind blowing that you got Chris Brown head over heels, like you got Chris Brown out here drunk because of you. I know my sister ain’t that beautiful” side eyeing him, my ears perked up hearing a car pulling up on the drive. Jumping off the couch and running to the window, pulling back the blinds “dad is back” moving back, did he drop Chris off.

Dragging the door open, stepping outside not caring about any shoes “put some shoes on” my dad pointed, looking inside the car “Chris is here?” I pointed confused “oh yeah, he fell asleep. I told his boys that he’s coming back here, that was the plan” my dad walked towards the car door, pulling it open “but he wanted to go” I am so happy to see him still here but he didn’t want to be here “and my daughter didn’t want him too, it’s the drink talking. You speak like adults, Blake come here and help me pick him out. I knew he would fall asleep, he told me how much he respected me and he loves me and then he said other things” Blake moved me out of the way “what other things?” stepping back, I want to know “be careful with him” he is such an idiot, he gets me so annoyed at times. My dad held his top half while Blake held Chris’ legs, opening the back door and seeing Chris’ bag. Picking the bag out of the car and closing the door, looking at the front seat just to see if nothing has fallen out of his pockets. Seeing some keys on the floor of the car, leaning into the car to pick them out. Looking down at the keys, these are his. He has a picture of Roro, smiling at the picture and turning it around. Took me by surprise seeing the picture of Chris and I, on our first date at a theme park. I look awful, he is so stupid. Kicking the door shut, I don’t know why he thinks I would cheat when I barely trust a man.

Walking into the living room “he’ll be ok here, I am going back to bed now” my dad said, placing the bag down on the floor “no, wait dad” turning to walk over to my dad “what else did he say? Don’t hide anything away from me” I would like to know if he said anything about me “he just said she don’t love me, I said my daughter adores you. He said he is not good enough for you, he says you are above him. I think in his mind he thinks you are so much more better and he is worthless. Just both of you work it out, be adults. I know you love him Rylee, whatever happened between you both it happened so look to the future. He’s a very emotional man, I thought you both broke up. He cried” my heart fell hearing that he cried, he really took what I did to heart for no reason at all. I just didn’t think his love was so deep, I mean ok I know he loves me but he is crazy in love with me but I just didn’t realise that it was this deep.

Scrunching my face up with my eyes closed, hearing my phone ring again. Groaning out in pain, my head and this sound. Turning around “fuck” my body fell to the ground “oh dear, be careful Chris” my eyes shot open hearing Rose, where am I. Staring at the ceiling and then hearing my phone ringing again. Patting pants, digging into my pocket and grabbing my phone. Looking at the caller I.D and answering the call “Nia” my mouth is so dry, oh dear god and my head “where are you?” closing my eyes, placing my hand on my head “I have no idea” looking to the side of me, Rose is watching TV “New Jersey” I said, I am sure I was making my way home “oh wow, so do you want to say to Royalty that you are not coming? You said you was taking her to Ballet class, she is waiting!” Nia is being loud “sorry, I just had a long night” holding the phone away from my ear “upsetting our daughter that wanted you, you piece of shit!” she screamed down the phone, looking up at Rylee “you a real piece of shit, you fucking told my daughter that you would be here. She is fucking asking for you, she will know how useless you are!” Nia is so loud, bringing the phone to my ear “sorry ok” disconnecting the call “breakfast on the table” Rylee said before walking off, sighing out closing my eyes, I feel sick.

Pushing the plate away, I feel sick even looking at that. The smell of food alone is making me want to puke “you need to just eat the food, that way it will disappear” Nathan said as he walked into dining room “why did I drink again?” I asked “you wanted too, you drank that lean like it was nothing too and then smoked all of our blunts” staring all wide eyed “I did?” I spat “he did!?” Rylee said too, I don’t even want to deal with that at all “uh yeah, it was cool” Nathan waved it off “cool? Cool!? He had a seizure last time so no, it’s not fucking cool. He’s not allowed that shit and he promised me that he would stop, how could you” Rylee’ voice is giving me a more of a headache “I need to go, thanks for all this” getting up from the seat “I can talk to you now, you are you. Drunk Chris no, but if you leave then don’t expect me to come running back to you. You can run away all you want but I know you will be calling me to come home soon, I won’t come home. If you can’t be an adult about this then don’t expect me to come home, decide now” Rylee came into my eye-view, I don’t want that either. Shaking my head sitting back down.

Looking at the caller I.D, has Nia called to cuss me out again “what” I said down the phone, eating some of the bread “silly!!” Royalty said down the phone “talk to him, it’s dad” I could hear Nia say in the background “baby, talk to me” Royalty giggled “what you doing ugly?” she is about to just be stupid and I am still tired as shit “where are you” she asked me “I’m sorry, I am working you know how I get busy with work baby. I honestly miss you so much, I am sorry” I feel bad because I did promise her I would see her “awwww no, I dance daddy” smiling as I closed my eyes “I can’t wait to see that Roro, I honestly miss you. I will be home soon, are you upset with me?” I need to fix myself up and go back to LA “no, I love you” a smile formed on my face “I love you too, you better show them how it’s done” I miss her little face so much.

I feel a little more refreshed now, I know what I need to do and that is speak to Rylee but I don’t really want to speak either because I am a little upset still. I need to man the hell up and get on with this talk, closing the bedroom door behind me “hope the hangover cleared up” Harvey said, looking down the hall “oh, yeah it kinda has” Harvey chuckled at me “you were something else drunk, you talk a lot too. Did you speak to my daughter yet?” shaking my head silently “it’s scary being in love Chris, it’s a scary feeling to have. I understand where you are coming from, I am so in love with Rose that I know if anything happens to her then I am gone with her, I can’t stand to be on this earth without her. She is my other half, she makes me complete. You remind me of me, I ran away from Rose a few times because I was like what is this, a big guy like me in love? What is that, talk and open up with each other and whatever my daughter did doesn’t mean she don’t love you. I know she loves you, she even left her job for you which I am not really happy about but she wants you happy so there is that, Rose told her to follow her heart and she did. Just please, both talk. You have the house to yourselves, I am taking Rose for her appointment” I am now wondering what the fuck I said while drunk, he has said all of this to me.

Sitting down on the couch across from Rylee, I have a feeling Rylee is about to drag me or maybe tell me what a dick I am. How can one woman be so beautiful without even trying, she is above me and it’s wild how she don’t even know it. If I was a female and this beautiful, I think I would be a hoe but she isn’t. Frowning a little, she really isn’t a hoe “what are you thinking?” Rylee said breaking my train of thoughts “thinking about what you thinking about” I shrugged saying “right, I am thinking what an idiot my future husband is, or if he wants to be with me anymore because I flirted with a man, a guy I knew from university. Ok I got a little taken back by his face, he is beautiful and I am sure you find other girls beautiful” rolling my eyes shaking my head “I actually don’t, you are the most beautiful girl I have been with” Rylee shook her head “no, that is a lie. You had beautiful girls” licking my lips “had!” I spat “I had! Until I met you but I don’t think that about anyone because now I have got you there is nobody else, if you think he is beautiful what am I? Ugly?” I am a little offended “wow Chris, no. I don’t think you’re ugly at all” why do I find myself getting so angry at this, I hate talking about this situation.

I am annoyed already “it’s fine, I am not good enough for you” looking down at my tee, I think I am done speaking now “really Chris? Really? Not good enough for me?” she pointed at herself “since when did Chris Brown get so sensitive, I met you and your confidence was sky fucking high and now you’re speaking to me like a defeated man. What is this Chris? I feel like I have changed you for the worsw” looking down at my hands, I don’t know what to say to her because I rather not “is it because I called another man beautiful? Is that what it is? Chris please stop being like this with me” Rylee pleaded with me “I don’t know what you want me to say?” I find it hard to even look at Rylee sometimes “I am in love and I don’t know how to handle it, I don’t think I am doing well at this love thing at all. The feeling of being scared is playing hard on me all the time, I am scared to lose you. If I lose you then what do I have? Then you find another man attractive, you probably see more in that then me. All I can give you is money” Rylee stared at me in shock “no, how can you think that!? You gave me your heart. I have realised that your heart is mine and I know you’re scared of that, Chris I don’t want you to feel like this. I would do anything for you and you know it, I left my job for you. Living with you, looking after Royalty for you. I love her because I love you and you think I want Kyrie? You are the man that loved a broken woman like me that did not want a man, you loved me for my scars and not my looks. Just like I showed you how to love, you also showed me how to love, I don’t understand why you think I would cheat on you. Trusting another man to touch me like that? I barely let you touch me” sighing out heavily.

Looking up at Rylee “this! What we have Chris is scary, I am scared just as much as you are. I am overprotective of you but I don’t like to know you think I am above you, I am in no way shape or form above you. I am not anybody else’s, I am yours. I am marrying you, I am engaged to you Chris. I am going to have friends Chris but I don’t want you to think I am out there to cheat, I am not even thinking that at all, I love you” Rylee got up from the couch “I feel like an idiot anyways, I have become a little bitch” Rylee sat next to me “no, don’t think that. Stop it, you have just changed and I like this Chris but I don’t like the insecure Chris because that is not you. Love has really got to you, trust me I am not going anywhere. We need to be as one Chris and more strong” Rylee held my hand “drink lean again I will leave you, if you die the fuck am I going to do? You want a baby then you need to stop this shit, I am changing and so do you” nodding my head “I am sorry Rylee, I fucked up because I let my fear get in the way, I put my guard up” Rylee bought my hand up to her lips, pressing a kiss to my hand “let’s look to the future” stroking Rylee’ cheek “have you finished your period now? I think you have, can we have sex now” Rylee giggled “I need a wax, we not doing anything until I am clean” I want sex now “just wait on it” Rylee winked at me.

#Chrianna #Chrianna FF #Fanfiction

[raitrolling]

The Right Thing

You’ve always liked being helpful - well, to be more accurate, you’ve always felt obligated to be helpful - and tonight was no exception. It took a while for your plan to fall in place; Mister Espino wasn’t kidding when he mentioned how difficult it was to get in contact with her after you politely asked him for her trolltag. Even sending her a scanned copy of a certain coworker’s schedule to entice her to visit the mansion more often didn’t seem to provide any response. Then you mentioned a free wine tasting festival in the city, in which over one hundred wines were available to taste test.

-- avariciousAmbition [AA] began trolling melodicMimicry [MM] --

AA: <( … Ok. )

AA: <( I guess… ‘Ll go. )

-- avariciousAmbition [AA] gave up trolling melodicMimicry [MM] --

In hindsight, perhaps over one hundred wines was too big of a number.

You’ve been a bartender for so many of Mister Espino’s parties that you’ve lost count of how many drinks you’ve served to however many guests, but you don’t think you’ve seen anyone as drunk as the troll you offered to accompany. Miss Rissah is somehow still standing, but her arms have been so tightly wrapped around yours as she stumbles around and drags you to the next booth that you’re certain that you’re the only thing currently keeping her up.

“C’mon, ‘Chioooo, y’ g’tta try ‘t least th’s one…!”

A glass is shoved in your face, it’s contents almost spilling out and onto your work uniform. You’ve been very lucky that no red wine has fallen onto your suit, while you know how to get alcohol-related stains out of clothing, it’s still quite a hassle. You hold out a hand (the arm not currently trapped by the redblood’s drunken vice grip) and shake your head to decline, much to her pouting dismay.

“Oh, no, it’s fine. This night is just for you! I just want you to have fun, so you don’t need to worry about me!”

“F’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’ne,” She sighs, downing the offered wine instead. You come to realise that your constant refusals to drink is probably contributing to the reason why she is in this state. So much for your promise to make sure she doesn’t end up dead. But, you fear that if you try to stop her she’ll get upset, which is the complete opposite of what you want to do. She seems to be content right now, if acting a little childish.

These same exchanges continue at every new stall. She takes two glasses, you decline one, she drinks both, the stall owner gives the two of you a dirty look (possibly for being lowbloods, but also possibly because you’re supposed to spit the drink into those specially-made containers instead of actually consuming it), and then you move on. It seems that she’s having the time of her life, smiling and laughing and even getting a little cheeky at times. It’s a side of her that you’ve never seen before, and the kind of reaction you were hoping to get. She’s happy! And having fun! It’s an accomplishment that’s making you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Even if you do keep turning down all the drinks she offers, you do so with a smile, one more genuine than the generic pleasantries you always give. But eventually, you run out of stalls, and Miss Rissah runs out of enthusiasm.

She’s been quiet for a while, and while you had noticed, you admit you weren’t paying as close attention as you should have been. You were more focused on politely thanking every stallholder for letting your partner try their wares and then quickly catching any glasses that fell out of her hands before they hit the ground using your psiionics, which you think that at one point became a bit of a game to her. With all the wines successfully sampled, you ask if she’d like to go home now, and she responds with just a small nod. You take out your phone so you can look up directions for the way back to her hive, but you feel her grip of your arm loosen for the first time in hours.

“Is everything alright, Miss Rissah?” You ask, concerned.

“‘T’s f’ne.” She doesn’t sound fine. She steps away from you, though its more of a sideways lurch.

“Would you like to sit down, maybe? There’s a park bench nearby, if you need to take a breather. Or I could get you some water? You might be feeling dehydrated.” You rattle off a couple more suggestions, but she shakes her head at all of them.

“Are you sure?”

No response.

The trip back to her hive is uncomfortably quiet. Occasionally (and by that you mean, almost every couple of steps) she sways and stumbles, but you’re quick to make sure she stays on her feet. You offer your arm again to help keep her steady, but she just shakes her head once more. As concerned as you are for her right now, you respect her boundaries to not wrap your arm around her waist for support despite her turning down your help. Also, you’d rather not get stabbed. You’ve heard about her tendency to pull out knives without little warning. You make it three quarters of the way to her hive before she finally speaks.

“S-S’rry… I ruin’d t’night…”

You’re taken aback by that response.

“Ruined? Oh no, I don’t think you ruined anything. I’ve been having lots of fun! As long as you’ve been having fun, I’m happy! You have been having fun, right?” You hope she was having fun. It looked like she was having fun.

She ignores your question.

“No, no… Y’ prob’bly j’st… Y’ d’n’t ev’n l’ke dr’nk’n, ‘nd here I ‘m…” Her words are slurring together - well, they usually have a bit of a slur to them, but it’s reaching the point of being unintelligible. She sniffs, wiping her eyes.

“No no Miss Rissah it’s fine!! Really!! Don’t worry, everything’s fine!” oh no she’s crying now you messed up eichio you stupid idiot now mister mitius is going to be really mad “Really! It’s okay!! I just thought that you’ve been feeling down recently, so I wanted to cheer you up!! I should be the one apologising - I’m sorry, Miss Rissah. I really am. I just wanted you to be happy!” You mean what you said, but your words are sounding desperate. You’re really worried, she was happy just a minute ago, why is she suddenly crying? What did you do wrong? You know alcohol tends to have this affect on some people, but still. It’s not right.

She shakes her head, still slurring some apologies together.

“It- It’s okay! I can fix this- Or at least I’ll try! Wh- What can I do to help?” You hold your arms out to offer a hug. “I can help, honestly! Just- Just tell me what to do!” You can’t help but feel like what you’re saying is painfully hollow. This seems to be a common occurrence lately. You used to be good at this! But now, it just seems like you’re just going through the motions or saying the wrong things and not being helpful at all. First it was Mister Mitius, then Miss Zatter…

“No, ‘t’s my fault… Y’ don’t… H’ve t’ do ‘nythin’... ‘T’s just… I shouldn’t ‘ve dr’nk so much ‘nd n’w ‘M cry’n’ ‘nd ruin’n’ th’ngs ‘nd ‘M sorry I shouldn’ ‘ve come t’night…!” It seems like your own frantic energy is rubbing off on her, judging by how quickly she’s speaking. “‘T’s j’st… Y’ c’nt f’x ‘nyth’n’ ‘cuz ‘t’s my fault-” She continues drunkenly blubbering words that you can’t understand. You can’t understand her, and she won’t listen to you.

Your shoulders slump as you suppress a sigh, lowering your arms. You feel hopeless. You guess this is what Mister Mitius meant by there being some things no one can repair. It was silly of you to think you could do more than what he - someone who had known her for a lot longer than you had, and was in an actual relationship with her as opposed to just being some guy who occasionally made her drinks - could do. As much as you want to help… You can’t. You can’t do anything for people who don’t want to be helped - or rather, are unwilling to accept your help.

But still, you need to do something.

You hesitantly reach out to rest your hand on her shoulder. She flinches, but luckily for you doesn’t respond by taking out any knives.

“If you want, you can just let it all out until it passes. I’ll be here if you need me,” You say reassuringly, still a little nervous about how she’ll react. You find yourself feeling very conscious of your words. Do they sound helpful? Is it the right thing? Will she think you’re being fake? Are you sounding hollow? Condescending? What would anyone else do in this scena-

The last thing you had anticipated was for her to suddenly embrace you in a tight hug. Still sobbing (now with the occasional hiccup), still not giving up feedback as to if you had said the right thing or even telling you how she’s feeling (at least in an intelligible manner), and still not smiling like how you had hoped the night would end. But, it’s a start. You at least got a positive response out of her. 

You may have accomplished nothing that you had wanted to do for her, but somehow it still feels like you did the right thing.

#drabble #eichio maccau #katrin rissah #in which eichio kind of learns a lesson and katrin still confuses everyone with her reactions and inability to tell people what shes feeling #ive been wanting to write this for a while #im still really rusty when it comes to drabbles and writing my own characters interacting but... its a start #im probably gonna pretend this doesnt exist in the morning like all my other attempts to write lmao #starting drabbles is so easy but once i hit the 400 word mark i lose momentum and by 700 i start doubting my own ability to write at all