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sentientsky · 4 months

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Crowley + Attachment Style

I was talking to @actual-changeling the other day about attachment styles, and they confirmed my idea that Crowley is, contrary to popular belief, not someone with an anxious attachment style. Rather, like Aziraphale, he exhibits signs of a fearful-avoidant/disorganized attachment style (just in a slightly different and less obvious way). I’ve had this draft kicking around since September (??? October?? time is an illusion), so enjoy my silly (not-so-little) ramblings. TW // discussion of child abuse (not explicit) Okay, I've seen a couple of discussions surrounding this (cue me doing a frantic, sleep-deprived Tumblr Literature Review approx. five minutes ago), so this is just me tossing two pennies into a fountain, shrugging, and walking away. I totally see how Crowley could be interpreted as having an anxious attachment style. At the same time, as someone with a fearful-avoidant/disorganized attachment style (thanks, dad! <3), I believe there's space to explore that as a possibility.

My credentials, you ask?? Decades of trauma and an intimate knowledge of what it's like to have a disorganized attachment style (I'm WORKING ON IT, okay?? lol). Also a fuckton of research. All sources will be linked because I am a professional (<- LYING). Okay, so let's do a quick crash course on attachment theory as a concept itself, and then shift into manifestations of disorganized attachment style (I'm going to call it "DAS" for short bc I'm tired). I'm doing this as a formality, because let's be honest. Would you be in this fandom without having had experienced at least some measure of childhood trauma? What is Attachment Theory? (source) "Attachment theory, in developmental psychology, [is] the theory that humans are born with a need to form a close emotional bond with a caregiver and that such a bond will develop during the first six months of a child’s life if the caregiver is appropriately responsive." There are a variety of attachment styles, each of which differently predicts how an individual will react in interpersonal situations according to how they were raised. While there are, obviously, further nuances to this, a core group of four feature most prominently:

Let's go deeper. What does it mean to have a DAS? In short, a DAS (also known as "fearful-avoidant attachment style") often comes about as a result of childhood abuse. The child relies upon the caregiver to ensure their (the child's) survival. However, when the parent is abusive (physically, emotionally, verbally, etc.), this obviously poses a threat to the wellbeing of the child. So they develop this deep-rooted sense of distrust and fear. It helps me to think of it as a flame: you want to be warmed by the heat of the fire, but if you get too close, you'll get burnt. Consequently, you're trapped in this wavering "too close", "too far" situation. One of the best explanations I've read with regards to DAS is from this source:

Separation and abandonment (though most likely to produce an organized form of attachment, such as anxious or avoidant) can lead to the establishment of a DAS:

(source) After experiencing abuse and abandonment in Heaven, and again as a Fallen angel, Crowley has, like Aziraphale, been exposed to conditions that would create this particular attachment style (for a further explanation of Aziraphale's DAS, see this post). However, as I mentioned in the above linked post,

In contrast, Crowley has a more nuanced, consequentialist view of morality. Having Fallen, having intimately known the depths of what both Heaven and Hell are capable of (e.g., his time in Hell post-1827), he isn't living with this unpredictable "parent"--he solidly understands that the existing system is fundamentally wrong.

At times, he does experience what appears to be ambivalence (or, more likely, a sense of deep-rooted loss and abandonment):

However, the Final Fifteen emphasizes that this lingering mindset is overridden by the acknowledgment of an innately harmful structure:

Having established this, what does Crowley's DAS look like + how does it differ from Aziraphale's? Well, in my research, I would posit "compulsive caregiving" plays a role. Compulsive Caregiving What is "compulsive caregiving"? It's a form of DAS that emerges as a result of specific developmental conditions. Having their needs (or QUESTIONS) ignored or else punished by a caregiver, a child may learn to "never ask for anything", and instead care for others, often sacrificing their own wellbeing/needs for the sake of the other party (see further explanations below).

(Sources: 1, 2, 3, 4)

Here, we can see how Crowley might fall into the category of "compulsive care-giving". Both he and Azi try to protect each other to a severe degree, but Crowley's compulsivity might be a bit more apparent in this regard. He's learned not to ask for the things he wants (avoidant manifestation), but he also feels a desperate need to prove himself and protect Aziraphale through compulsive caregiving (anxious manifestation). It's only with his back pressed against the figurative wall in the Final Fifteen (or on the brink of Armageddon in season 1) that he is able to say it plainly. The Push-And-Pull of DAS As has been discussed so many times previously, this idea of ambivalence also features prominently in the relationship between Crowley and Aziraphale themselves. There's a constant push-and-pull in their dynamic, as evidenced below: Aziraphale refers to him as a friend, he compliments him, exists in close quarters with him, etc...

But he also pushes Crowley away and consistently reiterates the categorical black-and-white thinking of Heaven/Hell.

[Disclaimer: I acknowledge that this wavering attitude, while infuriating and unfair to Crowley, is also largely as a result of religious trauma; Aziraphale needs some serious therapy. As we see exhibited throughout the Final Fifteen, Aziraphale still believes that Heaven is, fundamentally, good (or at least holds the capacity to become good). This doesn't negate the fact that he loves Crowley, but it does impact the way he views the two of them and their relationship, causing a significant strain and eventual break in their bond].

So we have the root, we have the manifestations within the other party, but how does this DAS figure within Crowley's character itself? Manifestations of DAS in Adulthood

Speaking from personal experience, DAS can manifest in adult life in several ways. In the present day, I tend to (But not always! I'm getting better, lol) attach myself to people who are touch-and-go; who variously show me affection and disinterest (*cough cough* my ex-bsf). Often, when I felt like the other person was pulling away/withdrawing, I would also pull away. Because my caregivers flipped between rage and calm, venom-spitting hatred and comforting affection very, very quickly and very, very easily, I had to constantly be on edge, anticipating my next move and ready to go into resolution/fawning mode ("compulsive caretaking") at the drop of a hat. And that notion of push-and-pull, "never really knowing where you stand" is what I grew up thinking of as love. This pulling away in the face of perceived rejection can also point to issues with self-esteem...

SIDEBAR: CROWLEY AND SELF-ESTEEM The way Crowley is written with regards to his trauma responses is so interesting and also so real to me. We have this entity who has spent the better part of six thousand years (likely more, because we don't have a definitive timeline for the Fall) believing he is so thoroughly and utterly unwanted as to be pushed to the underbelly of the Universe, hidden away amongst sulphur and agony and absence.

Speaking as someone with ah...childhood...uh. issues (sure, let's call it that. why not?), after being told that you are disgusting, horrible, unworthy, etc. so many times, you begin to believe it. And because, as children, we're forced to rely on primary caregivers, often the only way to maintain that connection lies in the internalization of that unworthiness, to the point where it's difficult to separate you from these ideas of worthlessness. And because you've experienced it so consistently throughout your life, you also come to anticipate rejection; you look for it everywhere, feeling as though it's right around the corner. Therefore, to kind of pre-emptively avoid emotional harm (or because you feel unworthy of asking for more or for reassurance), you cauterize the figurative wound and pull away. We'll come back to this idea in a couple moments! Returning to the main point, let's look at these markers of a DAS more broadly:

(source)

Let's go through each of these, step-by-step. Again, remember, not all of these symptoms have to be present all of the time. These are the ones I see most prominently in Crowley (of course, please, please, please feel free to correct me or build on this! i'm in NO way an expert).

"You find it difficult to open up to others" + "You tend to keep conversations on the surface level because it's uncomfortable to be vulnerable"

"You have a negative self-view of both yourself and others" (mostly himself, in this case!)

"You often dissociate from your emotions" + "You withdraw when you feel vulnerable or emotional" For this one, I'm just going to invite you to read Alex's post here. They phrase it better than I ever could, lol.

SIDEBAR #2: Withdrawal + Good Omens Lockdown @yowlthinks also made an excellent point regarding something i said here. In the Good Omens Lockdown audio clip, we notice Crowley pushing the boundary line, forthrightly offering to come over to the bookshop and stay for a while at the height of the pandemic (see below):

When Aziraphale outright rejects him, Crowley recoils and quickly says goodbye, intending to set his alarm for July. Here, we see the way in which disorganized attachment operates as a fusion of both anxious and avoidant behaviours; despite wanting to be close, he pulls back immediately and (presumably) resolves not to discuss the fact that he lost his flat and is now sleeping in his Bentley. (As my former philosophy professors have tried to impress upon me so many times,) It's important we consider alternative explanations. It could be possible that this is just him respecting Aziraphale's boundaries and returning to practices that seek to remedy the whole "you go too fast for me" issue. However, this kind of behaviour occurs time and time again, establishing a pattern that goes beyond simply protecting Azi's boundaries, and may index a desire to keep himself safe through emotional avoidance. "You have a hard time self-soothing your emotions" [insert lightning scene here]. He's trying, you guys. He's trying so hard, but it's difficult (and i'd genuinely like to get a scene in s3 where he's allowed to be well and truly angry. no, i'm totally not projecting, why do you ask? what are u, a cop???)! It seems that he turns to repression in the absence of actual emotional processing or soothing (until it comes out all at once, in the case of the lightning). This makes sense, as well, considering there have been very few instances in which he's been truly comforted or soothed by others. Not having comfort modelled to him, combined with his pre-existing low self-esteem helps to illuminate why he turns to repression opposed to taking time to care for himself, etc. Broader Implications + S3 Speculation Alright, we're almost done, I promise! So we've established (or at the very least, put forth an argument for) disorganized attachment in Anthony Janthony Crowley. What does this mean in the context of where we left things off at the end of S2? From my perspective, it means that what happened was completely in-character for both of them. Aziraphale's DAS manifests in more of the traditional, hot-and-cold fearful-avoidance. For Crowley, his caretaking compulsivity finally snapped in the Final Fifteen; Heaven is one place he cannot follow, and exhausted, he walks away (only to stand out on the street, further pointing to the anxious/avoidant duality). I would argue that there was no trick, nothing in the coffee, no coded messages, etc. Rather, like humans, they are both shaped by their trauma and responded in accordance with this. (@actual-changeling has some excellent metas where they further expand on the idea that there was no trick involved in the final fifteen: x. this meta too!: x. massive credit to them, as always hehe)

What about in S3? Speaking from personal experience (because the surrounding literature wasn't super helpful haha), a disorganized attachment style must be unlearned, with a few key factors at play: Since DAS is grounded in formative experiences of volatility, the survival of the individual has to be decoupled from the preservation of connection (with family members, partners, friends, etc.); more specifically, your worth and ability to persist is not dependent on maintaining connection with another. This is incredibly difficult to unlearn when you've experienced it for a couple decades, let alone so many thousands of years. t h e r a p y (pls neil, i need an episode where it’s just Crowley going to see a psychiatrist and he breaks down crying and it’s like “oh yeah. that was really fucked up what happened to me”. again. totally not projecting! <- as always, don’t actually send stuff like this to Neil). Okay, finally. We're at the end. I apologize for the sheer length of this analysis. I had to cut it off here, because the original was going to be wayyyyy longer with more discussion/analysis/etc. However. I am TIRED. So here you go! ✨TaH DaH! ✨ (please don't yell at me ajsdlasjkd. i love azi and crowley both so much and this is just my own interpretation/opinion as someone with a disorganized attachment style lol)

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fallevs · 3 months

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Ciao! Oof, today is a difficult one.

I wrote something... quite sad. It's not klaine centric but it's about Kurt and Burt. It's about them but it's also about me. This is my story told through Kurt's eyes. Four years ago today, I lost my father. It was the strangest twenty days of my life and to this day I still wonder how I survived. It's perhaps good that I was working night and day, day and night. If I had stopped in mourning, I would have gone crazy.

I don't see this as a tribute, otherwise I would have written a version in which both Burt and my father survive. It's rather an outburst. A throwing down what's going through my mind, what I've been through. And it hurt like hell. But it was necessary.

I hope you appreciate and understand how ridiculous life is sometimes and that not a single day must be wasted. My dad lived for 55 years, always working, always worrying about us, through ups and downs, he never stopped. Always a good and kind man but... I still lost him. And I also lost a little bit of me that day.

I want to thank my friend Karen, @sheisgiventofly, for helping me to beta. I hug you 🫂

If you want to read it, click below. But please, read the tags first. Thank you 🩷

My name has my father's voice.

#klaine fanfic #burt hummel #father and son #new fanfic #glee season four #canon divergence

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2treez · 5 months

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I’ve always said that God doesn’t give us more than we can handle. But after reading the following, you’ll see what I just realized. 💜💜

Cheyenne

"Watch out! You nearly broad sided that car!" My father yelled at me. "Can't you do anything right?"

Those words hurt worse than blows. I turned my head toward the elderly man in the seat beside me, daring me to challenge him. A lump rose in my throat as I averted my eyes. I wasn't prepared for another battle.

"I saw the car, Dad. Please don't yell at me when I'm driving."

My voice was measured and steady, sounding far calmer than I really felt.

Dad glared at me, then turned away and settled back. At home I left Dad in front of the television and went outside to collect my thoughts.... dark, heavy clouds hung in the air with a promise of rain. The rumble of distant thunder seemed to echo my inner turmoil. What could I do about him?

Dad had been a lumberjack in Washington and Oregon .. He had enjoyed being outdoors and had reveled in pitting his strength against the forces of nature. He had entered grueling lumberjack competitions, and had placed often. The shelves in his house were filled with trophies that attested to his prowess.

The years marched on relentlessly. The first time he couldn't lift a heavy log, he joked about it; but later that same day I saw him outside alone, straining to lift it. He became irritable whenever anyone teased him about his advancing age, or when he couldn't do something he had done as a younger man.

Four days after his sixty-seventh birthday, he had a heart attack. An ambulance sped him to the hospital while a paramedic administered CPR to keep blood and oxygen flowing.

At the hospital, Dad was rushed into an operating room. He was lucky; he survived. But something inside Dad died. His zest for life was gone. He obstinately refused to follow doctor's orders. Suggestions and offers of help were turned aside with sarcasm and insults. The number of visitors thinned, then finally stopped altogether. Dad was left alone.

My husband, Dick, and I asked Dad to come live with us on our small farm. We hoped the fresh air and rustic atmosphere would help him adjust.

Within a week after he moved in, I regretted the invitation. It seemed nothing was satisfactory. He criticized everything I did. I became frustrated and moody. Soon I was taking my pent-up anger out on Dick. We began to bicker and argue.

Alarmed, Dick sought out our pastor and explained the situation. The clergyman set up weekly counseling appointments for us. At the close of each session he prayed, asking God to soothe Dad's troubled mind.

But the months wore on and God was silent. Something had to be done and it was up to me to do it.

The next day I sat down with the phone book and methodically called each of the mental health clinics listed in the Yellow Pages. I explained my problem to each of the sympathetic voices that answered in vain.

Just when I was giving up hope, one of the voices suddenly exclaimed, "I just read something that might help you! Let me go get the article..."

I listened as she read. The article described a remarkable study done at a nursing home. All of the patients were under treatment for chronic depression. Yet their attitudes had improved dramatically when they were given responsibility for a dog.

I drove to the animal shelter that afternoon. After I filled out a questionnaire, a uniformed officer led me to the kennels. The odor of disinfectant stung my nostrils as I moved down the row of pens. Each contained five to seven dogs. Long-haired dogs, curly-haired dogs, black dogs, spotted dogs all jumped up, trying to reach me.

I studied each one but rejected one after the other for various reasons: too big, too small, too much hair. As I neared the last pen a dog in the shadows of the far corner struggled to his feet, walked to the front of the run and sat down. It was a pointer, one of the dog world's aristocrats. But this was a caricature of the breed.

Years had etched his face and muzzle with shades of gray. His hip bones jutted out in lopsided triangles. But it was his eyes that caught and held my attention. Calm and clear, they beheld me unwaveringly.

I pointed to the dog. "Can you tell me about him?" The officer looked, then shook his head in puzzlement. "He's a funny one. Appeared out of nowhere and sat in front of the gate. We brought him in, figuring someone would be right down to claim him. That was two weeks ago and we've heard nothing. His time is up tomorrow." He gestured helplessly.

As the words sank in I turned to the man in horror. "You mean you're going to kill him?"

"Ma'am," he said gently, "that's our policy. We don't have room for every unclaimed dog."

I looked at the pointer again. The calm brown eyes awaited my decision. "I'll take him," I said. I drove home with the dog on the front seat beside me. When I reached the house I honked the horn twice. I was helping my prize out of the car when Dad shuffled onto the front porch. "Ta-da! Look what I got for you, Dad!" I said excitedly.

Dad looked, then wrinkled his face in disgust. "If I had wanted a dog I would have gotten one. And I would have picked out a better specimen than that bag of bones. Keep it! I don't want it" Dad waved his arm scornfully and turned back toward the house.

Anger rose inside me. It squeezed together my throat muscles and pounded into my temples. "You'd better get used to him, Dad. He's staying!"

Dad ignored me. "Did you hear me, Dad?" I screamed. At those words Dad whirled angrily, his hands clenched at his sides, his eyes narrowed and blazing with hate. We stood glaring at each other like duelists, when suddenly the pointer pulled free from my grasp. He wobbled toward my dad and sat down in front of him. Then slowly, carefully, he raised his paw...

Dad's lower jaw trembled as he stared at the uplifted paw. Confusion replaced the anger in his eyes. The pointer waited patiently. Then Dad was on his knees hugging the animal.

It was the beginning of a warm and intimate friendship. Dad named the pointer Cheyenne . Together he and Cheyenne explored the community. They spent long hours walking down dusty lanes. They spent reflective moments on the banks of streams, angling for tasty trout. They even started to attend Sunday services together, Dad sitting in a pew and Cheyenne lying quietly at is feet.

Dad and Cheyenne were inseparable throughout the next three years. Dad 's bitterness faded, and he and Cheyenne made many friends. Then late one night I was startled to feel Cheyenne 's cold nose burrowing through our bed covers. He had never before come into our bedroom at night. I woke Dick, put on my robe and ran into my father's room. Dad lay in his bed, his face serene. But his spirit had left quietly sometime during the night.

Two days later my shock and grief deepened when I discovered Cheyenne lying dead beside Dad's bed. I wrapped his still form in the rag rug he had slept on. As Dick and I buried him near a favorite fishing hole, I silently thanked the dog for the help he had given me in restoring Dad's peace of mind.

The morning of Dad's funeral dawned overcast and dreary. This day looks like the way I feel, I thought, as I walked down the aisle to the pews reserved for family. I was surprised to see the many friends Dad and Cheyenne had made filling the church. The pastor began his eulogy. It was a tribute to both Dad and the dog who had changed his life.

And then the pastor turned to Hebrews 13:2. "Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by this some have entertained angels without knowing it."

"I've often thanked God for sending that angel," he said.

For me, the past dropped into place, completing a puzzle that I had not seen before: the sympathetic voice that had just read the right article... Cheyenne 's unexpected appearance at the animal shelter... his calm acceptance and complete devotion to my father... and the proximity of their deaths. And suddenly I understood. I knew that God had answered my prayers after all.

Life is too short for drama or petty things, so laugh hard, love truly and forgive quickly. Live while you are alive. Forgive now those who made you cry. You might not get a second chance.

And if you don't send this to anyone -- no one will know. But do share this with someone. Lost time can never be found.

God answers our prayers in His time... not ours...

God doesn't give us what we can handle, He helps us handle (stands with us, and gets us thru) what we are given. In other words, God's Grace keeps Pace with what we Face!!

-----2 Corinthians 12:9

Winston is my Cheyenne….

🌳🐾🌳

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tierneysodegaard · 2 years

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Dirty Secrets - Pierre Gasly x Reader - Part Five

Read Part Four here

Pierre Gasly x female!reader

Summary: Being the golden girl of Mercedes was easy when your dad was Toto Wolff. You’d been his Personal Assistant for a while with no problems until Pierre Gasly started to sneak around with you. Toto would kill him if he found out he was sleeping around with his daughter. Let’s just hope you have a good concealer to hide those marks Pierre leaves on your neck every night.

Word Count: 3K

Warnings: Fluff, cocky Pierre??? Smut18+++ (wrap it before you tap it kids), swearing

—-

The last person you expected to see outside your door was Pierre, then again you should have you have put two and two together? Probably. It made perfect sense, the time he’d ignored you was the length of the flight and journey to yours from the airport, he also had your address and evidently wasn’t afraid to use it to his own advantage.

“Is your Dad still here?” He quietly asked as you were still yet to say anything. Looking at his icy eyes it was the first time you saw genuine fear in his eyes at the mention of your Dad.

“No he left hours ago… why are you here?”

“Was me saying ‘I didn’t want you to be lonely’ not enough of an explanation for you?” The fear vanished from him and now the sly glint in his eyes returned.

“You have a point…”

“Can I come in?”

You opened the door wider for him, stepping back so he could enter your shared family home. Pierre lugged his things through the door before closing your front door and looking around. “You have a nice house…”

“Thank you, maybe one day I’ll move out of it.” You grinned.

A smirk appeared on Pierre’s lips as he spoke. “You think you’d survive on your own?”

“Definitely got more survival skills than you Gasly, bet you can’t cook.”

“I can actually, rather well. My Mum taught me.”

“Poor woman.” You teased. “What can you cook? Frozen Pizza doesn’t count.”

“I can cook any dish you name y/n.”

“Prove it.”

“Alright, when does your Dad get back?”

“In five days.”

“Well then tomorrow you and I will stay in and cook all day, you name me anything and I’ll make it. All you have to do is eat and help me clean up.” His smirk stayed planted on his face. “Deal?”

“Deal.” You shared his cocky expression. “But right now I’m going to order in and watch a film if you’d like to join me.”

“I’d love to.” He discarded his suitcase to the side, following you to the sofa before planting himself next to you, watching you scroll through every place that was open on Uber Eats.

You and Pierre spent the night watching shitty films and eating just as equally shitty food. Pierre had clearly become relaxed knowing that Toto was far away from the pair of you. He was laying in your lap, letting you play with his hair as you continued to watch Midsommar with him.

“This film is pretty fucked up…” He watched as the film began to unfold.

“It’s folk horror, it’s supposed to be.” You smiled down at him. “Arguably one of the best film genres ever created.”

“So all the films are just based around folk tales?”

“With all that knowledge you should be a teacher Pierre.” You mocked him ass he huffed, turning his attention back to the screen. “You’re right though, basically anything like a cult or witches or even things like demon dogs can be seen as folk horror.”

“I love it when you talk.”

“Surprised you aren’t sick of it.”

“Could never get sick of hearing you talk.”

You couldn’t help but be warm to his words. In the past few months you’d gotten to know a different side of Pierre, he wasn’t always cocky and arrogant all of the time in fact most of the time that he was with you he was sweet and wanted ti be around you just for company, sure the sex was apart of it but part of you started to wonder if you wanted him around for just sex anymore.

“Such a charmer Gasly.”

“I do try.”

“No, you don’t.” He shifted so he could look up at you as you spoke those words. “You do it effortlessly.”

He laughed at your words, his hands reaching up to cup your jaw as he pulled himself up and planted a shirt yet sweet kiss onto your lips before he fell back down onto your lap. “Glad you think so.” You went to speak when the sudden ring of your phone grabbed your attention. “Who’s that?” Pierre asked.

“My Dad.” You picked your phone up. “Don’t say a word.” You warned him as you answered the phone. “Hey Dad, how are you?”

“Hello love, yes I’m fine. How’s being in the house on your own? Have you locked the doors? Are the windows shut?”

“Yes, Dad everywhere is locked up. I’m fine.”

As you spoke to Toto, Pierre had a wicked idea. An evil smile appeared on his face as he rolled off your lap and onto the floor, he knelt down before you and let his hands run up your legs until they reached the tops of your trousers. Pulling as hard as he could he removed your trousers in one quick motion making you yelp.

“Are you okay?” Toto sudden asked at your reaction.

“Yes!” You spoke perhaps a little too loud. “Yes sorry I’m fine I just slipped in the kitchen, think I split some water when I filled a vase up earlier.”

“A vase? Did you get some flowers?”

“Yeah, I headed to the farmers market when you left…” You lied, trying to keep your voice steady as Pierre started to nip at your underwear.

“What flowers did you get?”

“I got white roses…” As you spoke Pierre pulled your underwear down slowly as you tried to push him away but he wasn’t having any of it.

“Oh they’re pretty.”

“Yes they are…” Pierre whispered, overhearing your conversation as he discarded your underwear to the side before using both hands to push your legs apart. His eyes lit up, seeing how wet you already were at just his small light advances.

Pierre didn’t waste a second. He ducked his head down, kissing your upper thighs as his hands trailed up and down the tops of your thighs. He slowly started to hover where you needed him the most.

“They are Dad yes.” You tried to play things off but you desperately needed Pierre to do something.

“Should be calling me Daddy.” Pierre smirked from in-between your thighs. You gently kicked him with your thigh, giving him a glare before returning to the conversation was Toto.

“How was the journey there?”

“It was good thank you, Jack slept most of the way which is a pain considering he’s full of life now he needs to sleep.”

“Bless him, you know Jack though, he’ll crash eventually.”

“I know, hopefully, he’ll fall asleep soon.”

“I’m sure he will- fuck!”

“Are you okay?”

“Yes fine, I just walked into the edge of the counter, sorry I wasn’t paying attention.”

The reality was you hadn’t walked into the kitchen counter, Pierre had latched his lips onto your clit. Pierre smirked against your skin at your reaction, only convincing him to suck harder. He let one of his hands move to your entrance, slowly pushing inside of you. He made a becoming motion as he added a second finger, speeding his rhythm as you kept speaking.

“Don’t stay up too late, we have a busy two weeks coming up.”

“Yeah I know…” Your voice trembled as Pierre moaned against your clit. “I’ll be going to bed soon anyway.”

“With me…” Pierre groaned against your skin as his tongue started to devour your pussy, his fingers helping bring you closer to the edge.

“I’m really tired actually so I am going to head off if that’s okay with you.”

“Of course, I’ll call you again tomorrow if that’s okay.”

“Yeah that’s fine.” You threw your head back as Pierre continued to enjoy your state. “I’ll talk to you then.”

“No worries darling, I love you.”

“I love you too Dad, I’ll speak to you tomorrow.”

“Speak to you then, goodbye.”

“Bye!” You quickly hung up the phone, throwing it aside as Pierre spoke.

“Such a slut, talking to your Dad as I make you cum… couldn’t even wait, you were already soaked.”

“Shut up and fuck me, Pierre.” You begged, not caring about pride anymore. His cocky expression grew at how easily he’d made you comply with his wishes.

“As you wish my love.” Pierre took his shirt off effortsl before removing his jeans, leaving him in his boxers. You followed suit with his actions, removing your shirt and bra as you kept your legs spread apiary for him. “Such a pretty plaything, aren’t you?” His hands toyed with your entrances, letting his fingers swipe your wetness onto his fingers and taking them in his mouth. “You taste so sweet…”

“Stop teasing me…”

“It’s hard not to…” He pulled you up, pulling you into the kitchen before picking you up and placing you on the counter. “When you sound so pathetic begging for me…”

“It’s pathetic that you’re not fucking me now.”

“Yeah?” He pushed himself into you, his hands gripping your waist so you couldn't squirm away from him. “So needy for it…”

“Please…” You begged him one last time and that’s all he needed. Pierre pulled you towards him, allowing his cock to thrust deep inside of you. He grabbed your neck, forcing you to look at him as he quickened his pace. He knew you weren’t going to last long, not after what he’d put you through whilst you were on the phone. “Fuck Pierre…” You moaned. You could be as loud as you wanted as it was your own place, not having to worry if passers-by were going to hear you scream his name.

“I swear every time I fuck you, you just get wetter.” He moaned in the crook of your neck as he quickened his pace, sweat already glistening on his forehead. He moved the hand from your neck to your clit, circling it and adding pressure as he fucked you faster.

“Please Pierre…”

“Please what?” He tilted his head to the side, a sly smirk on his face as he watched you struggle to get your words out. “Come on mon amour, use your words.”

“Please can I cum?”

“Asking permission now are we? Such a good girl, learning so well for me… yes you can cum.” Pierre continued to quicken his pace, adding more pressure onto your clit as he felt you tighten around him. As you came Pierre kept fucking you through your high, making you hold onto his arms to steady yourself.

“Fuck you feel so good cumming around my cock…” He moaned into your neck before biting down on your skin to stifle his moans as he came inside of you, riding out his high as he made a new red mark on your neck. “God, you’re perfect…” He pushed back, looking down at your neck before meeting your gaze. “Nice mark.”

“Yet another one for me to cover up…” You huffed, your hand cupping his jaw as you gazed back at him.

“All you have to say is stop and I’ll never leave another mark on your neck again.”

“Never, I like them.”

“Good.” He leaned into your touch. “Because I want your neck to be covered in them one day and I don’t want you to cover them up, I want the world to know who you belong to.”

“We’ll see Gasly.” You leant forward and placed a kiss on his lips. “Maybe one day.”

“I hope so…” He whispered.

You fell asleep in Pierre’s arms without the worry of waking up early and having to sneak back to your hotel room. Everything just seemed so different, so peaceful when you were around him. Little things like work stress or the odd spot of anxiety never got to you as much when he was around, he found a way to make you relax and not just with sex. You laughed more when you were around him, you smiled more and everything just seemed to work with him.

That morning you woke up and Pierre wasn’t beside you. Your frowned at the sight of an empty bed. Sitting up you went to find him but your door suddenly opened. Pierre walked in carrying a tray of food and drinks for you both.

“Sorry I didn’t want to wake you.” He smiled setting the food down. “Told you I could cook.” He winked before climbing back into bed with you and handing you a glass of juice.

“I must say, Pierre…” You looked down at the food he set down. The tray was full of fruits and fresh pastries. “I am impressed.”

He leaned over and planted a kiss on your forehead. “Told you I could cook.”

Pierre started to talk you through the food in front of you, assuring you that he wouldn’t poison you which only made you laugh. Your day was supposed to be full of baking but that never happened, the two of you got so lost in conversation with one another that the day just passed by faster than you could have imagined so when the two of you finally woke up the next day you decided to cook for one another, better late than never.

“We might need to go and get a few things down at the market first.” You scanned through the fridge and cupboard and saw the lack of food. “Trust Toto to forget to go shopping before he ran off…”

“That’s fine by me.” Pierre smiled.

“We’ll head to the farmer's markets, there’s always stalls open every day.” You grabbed your things and Pierre’s hand before pulling him out the door and down your driveway.

Your hand never left his as you walked down the countryside lanes, admiring all of the animals you passed. Pierre watched as a horse appreciated you both at a fence, leaning his head towards you both to smell you. Laughing at the animal you gently ran your hand down his nose, smiling as he was clearly enjoying the attention.

Pierre pulled his phone out, secretly taking a photo of you as you smiled with the horse. He studied the photos whilst your attention was away from him. His heart ached at the sight before him, the way you smiled so brightly at the animal like you had no care in the world and how equally happy the animal seemed to be.

“He’s so sweet.” You gave him a final stroke before turning back to Pierre. “Isn’t he?”

“He is.” He smiled. “You know you hardly get to experience this side of life anymore, everything on the track is so full-on.” He took your hand in his as you continued to walk. “It’s just nice to be able to escape everything.”

“Well you’re welcome here anytime. Sure my Dad might not like you being here but I’m sure he can come around to it, eventually.”

“I’ll just have to impress him on the track, then he’ll have to invite me over.”

“Oh yeah I’m sure that’ll do it Gasly.” You smiled as the pair of you continued to walk.

You’d never seen someone in such awe. Pierre loved walking around the markets, he watched as you smiled and spoke to the farmers like they were family. He loved the way everyone interacted with one another like it was a large family that knew and loved one another. He always missed his family when he was away, sure they came to watch him race but not as much as some of the other lad's parents.

Perhaps that’s why he was glad he had you always watching over him. To him, you were the angel that picked him up in his lowest moments and that angel that had stayed by his side, the one who would never leave.

Once you had everything you needed, you both headed back to yours and started baking. You unpacked everything whilst Pierre grabbed everything you needed. The pair of you decided that you would both attempt to make a cake together. Pierre would decorate one side and you would do the other. The pair of you would then send it to Lewis (as he was the only one who knew about you both) and let him judge who wins.

Pierre started to measure the flour, clearly concentrating whilst you messed around, grabbing a small handful and blowing it into his face. “y/n!” He huffed clearly trying to concentrate on what he was doing. “You’ll mess up my cake.”

“My cake?” You teased, pecking his cheek before grabbing a bowl. “Think you’ll find that it's our cake.”

“Would be our cake if you didn’t mess it up.” He smiled down at you as he watched you combine the sugar and butter together.

“I wouldn’t sabotage myself Gasly.”

“Wouldn’t put it past you.” He winked as he slowly began to tip the ingredients into the bowl as you started to mix. He cracked the eggs and whisked them for you before taking over the mixing process whilst you prepared the baking tins. “We should do this more often…”

“What bake?” You asked as he poured the mixture into each tin. “Rather hard when we basically live in hotels for most of the year.”

“I know but not just this, like spending time like this together.”

“Like we did in the office?”

“Yes.” He smiled, placing the tins in the oven. “Look y/n I… I just enjoy your company and not just when it comes to sex. Everything just seems -” Before Pierre could continue the sound of a key unlocking your front door grabbed both yours and his attention.

“y/n?” The familiar sound of Toto’s voice filled the air. “We’re back early, Jack wasn’t feeling so good and…” His voice dropped when he caught sight of you and Pierre standing in his kitchen.

“Shit…” Pierre whispered at the sight of the man before him.

You were fucked.

—

Taglist: @honeybadger03 @unicornfairytail @iamasimpingh0e @katcontrreras @ferraribarca @peakywitch @teamspideyman

#pierre gasly x reader #pierre gasly x you #pierre gasly x y/n #pierre gasly imagine #pierre gasly #f1 imagine #f1 #f1 x reader #f1 x you #f1 x y/n #f1 one shot #f1 x oc #pierre gasly one shot

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el-ly-sha-give-no-f · 2 years

Text

Bonding Time

Sebastian Vettel x daughter! reader

Author Note: I've been deciding to write this before I go into silence again. So here I serve you guys with father Sebastian, even though this kinda not makes sense cause of Sebastian's age. So the reader will be 22 and Seb will be around 40? assume he's not retired yet and I try to use "you" instead of "I" this time. But this one is kinda shit, sorry for that but, Yeah, enjoy. DO NOT COPY OR REPOST!

TW: nothing just pure fluff

WORDS: idk

It's finally happening, after 3 years of studying and living a hectic life. You survive University life, Otherwise, being someone famous daughter is hard, Sebastian Vettel, what do you expect, your dad is an F1 driver and four-time world driver's championship, a lot of people tried to take advantage of you, doesn't matter if it's girls or boys they all same so you are more likely to be alone.

Anyways, this is the day that you finally graduate today. Study under English literature flows. And you study at Royal University in the UK.

Currently, You waiting for your name to be called by the professor. You can see your dad sitting on the guest chair, talking with other student parents.

He's sacrificed his free practice and qualifying race just want to come to your graduation, he said he can't miss his daughter's graduation after those years. So grateful that you have a father like him.

------------->

"Y/n Vettel, a degree in English Literature"

You heard your name being called, and you can hear loud clapping as the nerves start kicking but as soon you step onto the stage, you greet the presenter as he's handing you your certificate.

"oh hi, you are Sebastian Vettel's daughter?" The presenter asks you, "I am" you reply. "congratulation on your graduate, say hi to your father for me" he smiles, and you smile at him back," Thank you and I will" you thank him before you turn your head to look at the camera and you can see your dad smiling while holding his phone, probably taking your picture and video then you walk from the stage and walk towards your dad.

You smile and he hugs you.

"God I'm so proud of you Shatz" he whispers.

"Thank you, dad, thank you for coming and the presenter said Hi to you"

"oh really?" I nod

"he congrats me and ask if I was Sebastian Vettel's daughter"

"Well, you are my daughter," He said as we out of the hall.

You guys stay a couple of minutes more outside the hall, to take some pic both of you. You guys did ask people to help, and they recognise your dad and wanted to take a picture with him, and you let your dad with his fans for a minute and then you guys go back to the hotel room.

-------> (3 months)

3 months after you graduate, you with your dad again, of course, you can't live without your dad, this time you going to accompany him to the Italian Grand Prix with him next week, well, other than that, you currently waiting for your appliance for Sky Sports journalist intake.

your laptop is on your side while the Email website is on your screen, you've been reloading the website numerous times. Your dad is watching the TV, and he begins to worry when he saw your eyes glued to your laptop after hours of hours.

"you okay?" you heard him asking. You reply to him with a nod.

"what's up? anything special today?" "The result for Sky Sports journalist intake result is today," you said

He looks at you more excited, "what? really? is it today?"

"yeah! I've been reloading this website for what? a couple of minutes already" you getting frustrated

"Calm down Shatz, maybe delay?" your dad tries to calm you down. You sigh and try to reload again for the last time. this time, one email, that you've been waiting for finally popped up.

"DAD!" He looks at me with a shocked face

"WHAT! you scared the shit out of me y/n" He said and you apologise

"Email from Sky Sport"

"what you've been waiting for, open it!" you shook your head no.

"I'm nervous can you open it for me?" you ask him

"you want me to read it?" you nod your head "sure, I can do that"

you passed him your laptop

"okay let's see!" you see him tap the laptop pad and he starts to read it

"Y/n Vettel, after we look into your resume, we've been deciding to inform you that you have been accepted to work as a Sky Sports journalist, In Formula 1 department," he stop for a second I can see his eyes begin to watering then he continued again "we very much appreciate you working with us, and we would like to inform you that you can start working on Italian Grand Prix which happen in next week, we have prepared your flight and accommodation please refer to the attachment below, we from Sky Sport wish you a good luck"

after he finished reading it, he looks at you and now you both had tears in your eyes, you quickly go to your dad and hug him tightly.

"YOU GOT IT Y/N!"

"I GOT THE JOB DAD! OH MY GOD, I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!"

You both pulled from the hug, and he said

"believe it dear, I know you will get the job, cause you want to be a journalist since you were a kid, I know you will earn for it, and again I am so proud of you. And I will always be"

-------------------->

-ITALIAN GRAND PRIX-

Today is the day that you will start your job as a Sky Sports journalist, even though you still can't believe that you got the job.

Currently, you are in your hotel room that Sky Sports sponsor for you, and it is more interesting when you live in the same hotel with drivers which included your dad too.

You got a text from your dad that he will wait for you in the lobby and you guys will go to the Grand Prix together.

After you finish dressing up, you go down to the lobby to meet your dad, you found him sitting on the lobby couch while holding his phone. you walk over to him.

"Guten Morgen, dad" you greet him. good morning

"Guten Morgen zu Ihnen zu lieben" he greet you back "you ready?" he ask and you nod. good morning too dear

you and he walk over to the exit door, and you and he greet by a lot of fans screaming your and your dad's names, you both smile and get into the Aston Martin car that has been provided by them to your dad. And your dad starts the engines and drives to the circuit.

on the way to the circuit, suddenly, your dad said

"so it's your first day today, and you of course gonna be busy, so at the end of the race, I'll wait for you and we go to the hotel together, do you know what time you'll be finishing your interview?"

"no, but I know it's gonna be a long day, but if you want to go to the hotel first, it's okay, I can take the cab or something," you said

"I can't leave you, it's okay, well at least I can see you working and interview some of the drivers, I want to see my daughter working," He said and looked at you.

"I know what you're thinking, you want to disturb me right?"

"whattttt? of course not" you see him smirk.

--------------------->

You both arrive at the circuit, you both scan your pass at the entrance, and this time you are both greeted by cameras, as usual, you guys just smile and wish people good morning.

you see Simon Lazenby and Naomi Schiff talking with each other and preparing some stuff.

You hug your dad and said you going to them and start working.

"Okay bye, good luck, I'll wait for you"

"Okay bye, dad! good luck too"

You both go to different ways, him going to the Aston Martin paddock and you going to Simon and Naomi.

They both smile at you when they both see you walking toward them.

"Oh hello! You the new people! Welcome!" Naomi greet you

"Hi, I am, I'm so excited to work with you guys" Simon laughs and hugs you. "we too kid"

" who drives you here" you heard Naomi ask and you and Simon pull from the hug.

"My dad" you answer

"oh, your dad? he works here?" she asks again

"something like that" you reply

"do we know him?" this time Simon asks you

"Yeah! he's very much known here" "who is he?" they both ask at the same time.

"Sebastian Vettel"

"WHAT?! REALLY?" they both look at each other and back looking at you. And you just nod.

"How come we never know you before?" you laugh and said "I don't know"

Your guy's conversation got interrupted by the director to get ready for On Air.

"We not finished yet, kid, we'll interview you later," Simon said and you said okay with a laugh.

-----------------------> (ON AIR)

"Hi I'm Simon Lazenby"

"Hi I'm Naomi Schiff, and we have a new gorgeous Sky Sports journalist today, introduce yourself!"

you laugh

"Thank you," you said to Naomi, you look at the camera before introducing yourself

"Hi I'm Y/n Vettel, I'm the new F1 Sky Sports journalist"

"I see you got a famous last name there y/n" Naomi joke

"wait, Y/n Vettel as the daughter of Sebastian Vettel" Simon plays the fool.

you laugh again and reply "Yes I am indeed Sebastian Vettel's daughter"

"well before we start our job, I know people want to know about you, so Y/n, tell us more about you," Naomi said

"I'm 22 years old and I just graduated from University 3 months ago, I studied at Royal Holloway university in the UK under English Literature flaws for three years and I got my degree"

"Oh Wow you are a smart girl, Is Journalist been your ambition since you were a kid," Simon asks

"yeah indeed, It's been my passion since I was a kid, and I want to reach my goal, that is, to interview my own dad one day" you answer

"Awh that's so sweet, we'll give you a chance to interview your dad today, that's for sure," Naomi said to you

"thank you very much, Naomi" you laugh

"You are welcome! okay so back to our job"

Little did you know your dad had been watching you on TV from Aston Martin Paddock, while a smile was drawn on his face that was enough for people on the paddock to know how proud of him to see your work.

Imagine this is his reaction

-------------------> (START RACE/END RACE)

the race just end, you, Naomi and Simon start on air again

"What a beautiful race we just watch, Hamilton P1, Verstappen P2 and Leclerc P3" Simon started.

"It's a great podium actually," Naomi said

"I agree with you Naomi, it's very rare to see three of the drivers on the podium together" Your turn

"But it's not a good race for Wiliams cause Latifi got a DNF that's made Sebastian Vettel on P10 last minute"Simon stated

"You guys need to see Y/n face when she knows his dad is on a top 10," Simon said and you and Naomi laugh

"you still can't believe Y/n is Sebastian Vettel's daughter do you, Simon," Naomi said

"HAHAHA enough about me, we talk about it later, we're going to interview some of the drivers so stay with us for a little bit" you look at the camera and smile.

----------> (ADS BREAK) LMAO

"Welcome back everyone, we continue by interviewing some of the drivers and we sent y/n and Simon there, y/n and Simon I give it to you guys" Naomi stated, the Camera pointing at Simon with Lewis on his side

"Hello everyone here we are we have Lewis Hamilton here, Congrats on P1, so Lewis how are you feeling after the race and the podium?"Simon interview first

"I feel great, never expected it's going to be me on the podium, me and the team, were targeting if it's not podium it's going to be the point, but it's feel good to be up there again, the car is good and the team really did a great job, and congrats to Max and Charles too, they both really hard to compete actually, but I can maintain the P1 till the end of the race" Lewis answer.

"That's really great to hear, thank you so much, Lewis, we're gonna pass this to our newbie to interview our Driver of the day, Y/n Vettel interviewing Sebastian Vettel"

YOUR TURN

"Hello everyone we're here with our Driver of the day, Sebastian Vettel, so how do you feel about the P10 and DOTD?"

"First Hello to you, daughter," your dad said and you laugh

"Cmon dear father be professional" you shy a little bit

"I am being professional, I just wanted to greet my daughter, it's rare to see your own daughter interviewing you, it's like another level," he said

"Okay hi to you too" you finally gave up, you can hear people around you and behind the camera laughing and awing at the same time.

"back to your question"

your dad answers your question for a couple of minutes.

"That's great to hear, congrats for getting point"

he said thank you and hug you "I'll wait for you, and I'm proud of you" you heard him mumble. The camera pass to Simon and Naomi back.

You thought other people didn't hear it but actually, they both on the other side said otherwise

"well what a great way to bonding time between father and daughter," Simon said

"Yeah, finally she reach her goal Simon" Naomi and Simon laughed.

---------------------------------------

THE END!

Author note: thank you for reading this and let me know what you think, Requests are open, do request. I love you guys so much thank you for waiting. Stay safe <3

#f1 one shot #formula one x reader #f1 x you #fomula one #sebastian vettel #sebastian vettel imagine #sebastian vettel x reader #sebastian vettel x daughter

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buckyandgeraltsupremacy · 2 years

Text

The Plot (Anthony Bridgerton x Fem!Reader)

anthony bridgerton x fem!reader

the one where his entire family plots to get you two together by the end of the season

warnings: awful dad; mentions of potential future abuse; she/her pronouns; scheming lol

author: sj

masterlist

part two / part three / part four

---

The Bridgertons have practically been your family since you were small, specifically Daphne and Eloise, but none of them were were ever considered your favorite, they simply all were your favorite. And the whole clan adored you. Even Lady Bridgerton who insisted that you call her Violet.

This was your second season out and your father particularly was starting to get serious about your intentions to marry. Your father was never the kindest, viewing you as another child in his house and as a thing he had to get rid of when you hit a certain age, hence why you spent your time at the Bridgerton household to escape him. Which was were you found yourself now. Specifically at dinner.

The sound of silverware scraping and loud chatting filled your ears as you ate with the beloved family. You had only told Eloise before dinner of your father and his intention to marry you off this season. Which is what you and Eloise were discussing at the moment in hushed whispers.

“But I can’t believe he would actually do this! It’s ridiculous and quite disgusting that he would treat you like property.” Eloise huffed.

“What are you talking so fervently about Eloise?” Anthony asked at the head of the table.

“Nothing, brother.” She dismissed, your cheeks heating slightly under his gaze that was looking back and forth between you two. For the past few years, you had been harboring a little crush on the Viscount. After he had helped you learn a specific dance in the day room one morning about four years ago, your mind and body would not release him from its clutches. He seemed to not return your feelings.

“Eloise, if you are going to speak so passionately then you get to share with the table. I for one would love to hear what has you so angered.” He insisted, cutting the meat on his plate. She looked to you as if to ask if it was alright to explain but you just kept your head down and picked at the food on your plate.

“It is not my matter to discuss.” Eloise spoke, adding a little nod in your direction at her side.

“Eloise…” Anthony pushed.

“Anthony, if Y/n doesn’t want to discuss it then she downed not have to.” Violet cut in, reading the situation and knowing it was your matter that was attempting to be discussed.

“Y/n, my apologies. It was not my intentions to make you uncomfortable.” Anthony said earnestly, looking at you in the eye. You quickly looked down.

“No! You didn’t make me uncomfortable. I just… well… My father has decided at the end of this season I am to be married. Regardless of my feelings on the topic… and the person.” You said still avoiding eye contact from everyone at the table.

“Oh, Y/n.” Benedict sighed with compassion in his voice.

“I’m so sorry.” Colin said, patting your shoulder affectionately. You took a breath to hold yourself together.

“I’m alright. I promise. There have been others that have gone through this, I’m sure I’ll survive.” You tried to muster up your best smile, looking up to the others. Anthony’s eyes met yours, his hands paused at his plate as you spoke and eyes studied your pitiful half smile. It was obvious to him that you weren’t fine.

“I mean how can he do this?!” Eloise yelled, her silverware clattering to the table. “What if the man he marries you to is AWFUL? What if he hurts you or is old or is demeaning? How can you just be fine?!” She exclaimed.

“It’s because I don’t have a choice.” You quietly admitted. “If I get upset, it’ll do nothing but make me miserable. I’m just hoping somehow I end up with a love match or at least someone nice.”

Hyacinth and Greggory had been quietly watching (for the first time in their lives). They didn’t fully grasp the gravity of the situation but what they did grasp was that you weren’t acting like yourself. Your normal joyful demeanor and the smile that never seemed to leave your face fully, was completely gone. Just by looking at your body language, they could feel the unease rolling off of you.

They were also keeping an eye on Anthony as well. Not once since you had admitted the news did he move his hands from his silverware resting by his plate, knuckles going white with how hard he was squeezing his fists around the metal. They knew of how he normally looked at you, with soft eyes and careful attention. The empty stare he had trained on you now held almost a slight look of concern and anger.

Hyacinth and Greggory shared a look between them that almost said it all. They needed to find a way to get you and Anthony together by the end of the season so you didn’t end up miserable and so you realized your shared feelings for each other.

#anthony bridgerton #anthony bridgerton x reader #anthonybridgertonxfemreader #bridgerton #anthony bridgerton x reader fluff #anthony x reader

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wangxianficfinder · 1 year

Text

Fic Finder

~*~

1. Hi! I hope everyone's ok! Could you please help me find a fic? Last time I read it it was wip. It's a time travel fic that starts with punishment after they get caught drinking. WWX starts crying, I think, and he keeps avoiding LWJ. Then he goes to talk to LQR and asks him to get all sect leaders, then confesses he is from the future, I think WN also went back, and they want to help everyone prevent bad things to happen, including JGY.. do I even make sense? Sorry and thank you.

FOUND! If You Forget Me by DivideTheSorrow (Not Rated, 154k, WIP, WangXian, Time Travel, Fix-It of Sorts, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Build, Canon Divergence, Eventual Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, POV Alternating, Original Character(s), Angst)

~*~

2. Hi! I'm trying to find this one-shot I read a while back. LWJ comes across A-Yuan calling LXC uncle? I believe. LWJ corrects him and asks him not to call him that. He makes it clear to LXC that he is unhappy about him allowing the siege against the burial mounds. Might not be entirely accurate but this si the gist of the fic. Thank you!

FOUND? ❤️ kick at the darkness 'til it bleeds daylight by AlfAlfAlfAlfAlf, tardigradeschool (T, 75k, WangXian, Hurt/Comfort, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Eventual Happy Ending, Getting Together, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Inspired by The Parent Trap (1998), Kid Fic, teen shenanigans, two a-yuans, Fluff and Angst)

FOUND? Survival - Part Three by Jinko (G, 2k, WangXian, LXC & LWJ, Canon Divergence, JYL Lives)

~*~

3. Hi! Do you guys know of a crack fic where lqr gives sex ed to teenage lwj and wwx?

Lqr notices wangxian's mutual attraction (i think they are bethrothed? but I'm not too sure) and discusses this with xichen. Lqr hints at the need to give them both "the talk". Xichen shudders thinking about the time he got "the talk" from lqr. Lqr says xichen doesn't have to give wangji "the talk" since he is also young, plus getting "the talk" from an elder brother must be embarrassing and harrowing (lqr got "the talk" from lwj's dad lol).

Lqr asks wangxian to come to extra classes where he gives them sex ed much to wangxian's embarrassment. Lqr is no nonsense about it, nit embarrassed about explaining ecerything explicitly and scientifically. wangxian just wants to get out of there as they're both red with embarrassment. Lqr also asks wq give wangxian oil and tools for them to figure out which position each liked so that their future married life will be easier. Wangxian are by rule meant to be celibate until marriage.

FOUND! A Series of (Un)intentionally Supervised Dates by dragongirlG (T, 33k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, The Untamed (TV) References, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Political Alliances, Yīn Iron, Arranged Marriage, Cloud Recesses Shenanigans, Family Dynamics, Sparring, Sex Education, Jealous LWJ, Sexual Tension, POV Multiple, 5+1 Things, Character Study, First Kiss, [Podfic] A Series of (Un)intentionally Supervised Dates by Koontyme)

~*~

4. Hii!! I was planning on just cutting my losses, but this is literally tearing my up from the inside out. I’m looking for a fic where Hualian adopted child Wei Ying, and because of being homeless, Wei Ying gets very sick with a high fever but tries to hide that from them. But Xie Liam see’s him eating less and WY eventually starts coughing violently then it’s revealed. He almost dies from the fever while Hua Cheng and Xie Liam watches over him. WY soon thinks that he is burdening the both of them and climbs out a window to sneak out, but gets caught by Hua Cheng when he collapses in the snow. Hua Cheng carrie’s him back and then the three have a heart to heart where I think WY starts crying.

I EVEN HAVE A QUOTE FROM A SC I PREVIOUSLY TOOK FROM THE FIC: “Immediately, he's shivering, bare feet sinking into the snow drift. He can barely put one foot in front of the other, it's so high, and leaves an obvious trail for anyone to follow. One two. Three four. Five steps and he's falling face first. He can't get back up.

"Wei Ying! Wei Ying?!"

He doesn't answer, but he feels more than sees Hua Cheng find his trail and stick half his body out the window, almost falling face first into the snow himself.

Scrambling is audible, and he soon finds himself lifted. Held.

"Gege! Gege, we need more blankets now!" Hua Cheng says, long legs stepping through the window. Suddenly Xie Lian is there, eyes sleep-swollen and hair a rat's nest. He's carrying all the blankets in the house by the looks of it."

I need to at least know if the fic was deleted so can have some closure, TY!! :D

FOUND! a warm coal in the hearth of our hearts by eccentrick (T, 46k, HuaLian, Found Family, fluff with plot, Fluff and Angst, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Disabled Character, Ableism, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, WWX Isn't Adopted by the Jiāngs, slow burn found family, Adopt WWX, Married HuaLian, Post-Canon TGCF, Kid Fic, TGCF Spoilers) locked to archive users only

~*~

5. Hello! I have a question for the next fic finder - thank you so much in advance!

My instinct is that this was a post-cannon fic, because I think I remember Jin Ling being there (although not positive on that!) - I just remember that WWX was traveling to Lotus Pier, but there was a really bad storm and he got lost and ended up falling off a cliff and into the river and almost drowning - and from there the fic cuts back and forth between JC, LWJ, and others, who eventually realize he's missing and go looking for him, and WWX, who is badly hurt and like drifiting in-and-out of consciousness somewhere along the river where he got swept away to.

I can't find it anywhere and I've exhausted every combination of tags I can think of to try to find it!

Hey there! I'm #5 on the most recent fic finder and unfortunately, it's not 'The Storm That Should Not Be', although I also love that one and have it bookmarked, lol!

My memory is that the fic I'm thinking of was a multi-chapter fic, and WWX was traveling to Lotus Pier with either JC or LWJ, but there's a storm and they accidentally get separated in the rain and darkness, and WWX doesn't see the approaching cliff and falls off it into the river and gets swept away - meanwhile JC/LWJ reaches Lotus Pier safely and is like, "what do you mean WWX hasn't showed up yet?" And then they send search parties after, and don't find him until like a day or two later, washed up at the edge of the river and half-drowned.

NOT FOUND! this storm that should not be by TheDameJudiWench (G, 6k, WangXian, Hurt/Comfort, Drowning, Family Dynamics)

FOUND! Of Rivers of Thunder by ARavenIsBlack (G, 7k, WangXian, Mystery, No Thirteen Years of WWX's Death, Hurt/Comfort, Not Canon Compliant, Angst with a Happy Ending)

~*~

6. Hey, for the next fic finder, I’m looking for a modern cultivation AU, where Wangxian are partners and hunting a succubus(incubus?). They get caught, LWJ gets dosed with truth serum, WWX manages to fake getting dosed but LWJ doesn’t know that. WWX lies to the succubus that he’s not in love with his partner, breaking LWJ’s heart. At some point, the ‘bus’s kidnaps LWJ, WWX saves him, and they talk and WWX confesses that he wasn’t actually dosed with truth serum and yes he is in love. @any-mouse

FOUND! a bite of a vow, a taste of the truth by occultings (microcomets) (E, 29k, wangxian, modern w magic, ABO, case fic, fake/pretend relationship, pining, truth serum, whump, hurt/comfort, monsters, succubi & incubi, getting together, happy ending)

~*~

7. hello i am trying to remember a fanfic where everyone including lwj thinks wei ying cheated on him with wen qing i think when actually he was trying to adopt his son. anyway then wei ying leaves and then lwj finds him after figuring out the truth. thanks in advance if you can find it, i’m struggling lol. / okay my bad i originally posted this on the wrong account but anyways. so basically i think it’s set in a modern au, and wwx gets confronted by the lans (including lwj) and his family, accusing him of cheating with wen qing. he’s not (obviously), and is trying to finalize the adoption of his son. nobody believes him and he leaves. i think he ends up owning a bakery or working (this could be wrong) when lwj finds him years later and apologizes, realizing the truth. thanks in advance!!!

FOUND! (Un)forgettable by Edens_Cat, VividestList (E, 67k, WangXian, Misunderstandings, Angst with a Happy Ending, Kid Fic, teenage juniors, Teacher WWX, the juniors are the wwx protection squad, Amnesia!, Protective WQ, protective LSZ, Matchmaker LJY, A-Yuan is Wei Yuan, Single Parent WWX, Riding, Dirty Talk, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering)

~*~

8. Time travel fix-it where WWX did sketches and was accused of being a spy

Hello! I'm looking for a time travel fix-it fic where WWX was thrown into the past with everyone living happily. In exchange, everyone will forget him and he remains without a golden core. LWJ and the juniors still manage to cross paths with him when their night hunt takes them to the faraway village where WWX lives. WWX gives them food and lodging after a hunt gone awry, and LWJ discovers the sketches WWX did of him, JYL, JZX, JC, etc. They all go back to the Cloud Recesses because WWX is accused of being a spy. Happy WangXian ending ofc.

I hope people know this fic! I could've sworn I bookmarked this, but it's not in my bookmarked fics. ): Tysm!

FOUND? thread fic by cerbykerby

~*~

9. hello, this is a nsfw ask! i’ve been trying to look for it to no avail and now i’m starting to wonder if it was just all a fever dream lol, anyways the fic goes like this: lwj and wwx (on lwj’s lap) are watching a movie and nhs and wq were there as well (it was movie night) and at some point things get steamy between lwj and wwx but they’re trying to keep it discreet

FOUND! Chapter 5: secret exhibitionism, tiny somno, nc-17 of verseau's little red book by verseau (E, 10k, WangXian, Drabble Collection, Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Canon Typical Content)

~*~

10. Hello, I’d like to request a fic be found( if possible)

Set in Cannon typical. I’m not sure if there is much deviation because the fic focused on WWX living in CR and working on ED recovery after the Burial Mounds. In this he has a meat aversion and relies on soups a lot.

My thanks for your time! @empiresprince

FOUND! a kind of emptiness by ScarlettStorm (E, 11k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Established Relationship, Eating Disorders, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Eating Disorder Recovery, tricking your brain into better habits, bad choices, followed by good choices, low angst, Happy Ending, Tender smut, Frottage, Praise Kink, Additional Warnings In Author's Note) MIGHT be a kind of emptiness by scarlettstorm. It hits every point except wwx's meat aversion.

~*~

11. Hii it’s my first time writing here so I hope it’s okay.

I’m searching for a fic where the person who summons wwx (I don’t remember if in this fic is mxy) hates him so wishes for him to die/suffer and if he doesn’t fulfill that wish his soul won’t go to the cycle for rebirth so when he feels happiness it’s painful.

so there a moment when he finally has a moment with Lan Zhan (I think there’s a drawing involved not a 100% sure) but he suddenly starts felling really intense pain Because it was the happiest he has felt since he was brought back

I don’t more but I’ve been searching for it :c

FOUND! A Storm of Laughter in the Stillness of the Jingshi by OnlyMeAndMyBones, 2nd in series (T, 74k, wangxian, LXC & LWJ, LXC & WWX, angst w happy ending, hurt/comfort, injury, recovery, mental illness, depression, PTSD, rehabilitation, slow burn, empathy, guilt, forgiveness, suicidal thoughts)

~*~

12. hi im looking for this modern au fic where wwx's backstory was that he was tortured by wrh. he was rescued before the story began. there were tapes of him being tortured and jin zixun found them and harassed wwx about it. thank you for your help as always!

FOUND! Surprise Baby! by trulywicked (M, 10k, wangxian, modern cultivation, mpreg, unplanned pregnancy, accidental baby acquisition, didn't know they were pregnant, ABO, established relationship, fluff)

~*~

13. Hi! Hope you are doing well. Although this is my second time requesting this fic, i hope you are able to find it for me. Lwj in this fic is a celebrity and wwx is a reporter/paparazzi. Wangxian are in a secret relationship, initially all the reporters think that lwj and lqy are in the relationship. This is all the informationthat I can remember. Hope you are able to find it for me @mayavsworld

~*~

14. I think I'm going insane, I can't find this fanfic anywhere and I am CERTAIN I had it bookmarked. Please help. It was a very (VERY) heavy angst omegaverse fic with seriously great worldbuilding around the omegaverse elements. I don't remember the name exactly but it had something about deep waters in it, I think? Or maybe calm waters. 20 something chapters at the time I read it, might be more now. WWX was omega and very actively pro-omega rights, I think I remember he would help other omegas run away from abusive households which incensed the cultivation world against him even more in addition to all his canon-complaint doings. There was also WC forcing himself on WWX and I think a-Yuan was the result of that. I remember the wen still die, a-Yuan still gets adopted by LWJ, but I think WWX dies in his first life by committing suicide via Bichen. I remember vividly how WWX absolutely broke down when he realised (kinda) LWJ's feelings for him because it was an "oh, fuck, you're like all the others, just want to fuck a baby into me too?" moment for him.

FOUND! and the calm is deep where the quiet waters flow (Prologue – Index) (E, 303k, off-screen rape, oppression, violence, sexual assault, grief/mourning, unwanted pregnancy., A/B/O) It was reccomended by angstymdzsthoughts a while ago and is very good / I was also looking for it and the part of the title the asker remembered was what I needed to find it in my browser history so thanks

~*~

15. hi, hope you're doing well 💚 im looking for a fic that has shapeshifter wei ying, staying in his small animal form while on the streets bc that requires less food and stuff like that. boy it was. heartbreaking. i skimmed the tiger fic and i dont think thats it? and i hope (tho im pretty sure) im not confusing it eith a bingpup fic. thank you for the help!! 💚

not FOUND in the arms of the angel by ScarlettStorm (E, 37k, WangXian,Modern AU with Magic, Fox WWX, animal rescuer LWJ, Comedy, Smut, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, Adhd WWX, the mortifying ordeal of getting your head stuck in a peanut butter jar) It opens with wwx in fox form dumpster diving because he doesn't have enough money for groceries that week

FOUND? threadfic by Zizzani

FOUND? Of Bunnies and Blood by Unforth (E, 9k, WangXian, Alternate Canon, Familiars, WWX is a Familiar, WWX Isn't Adopted by the Jiāngs, Cultivators are the "Witches" in a Witch/Familiar AU, Narrative Outline, Rabbit WWX, Hurt WWX, Hurt/Comfort, Hanahaki Disease, Huā tǔ bìng Disease, Mutual Pining, Miscommunication)

~*~

16. hi okay so the book im looking for isn't wangxian but xicheng, its a cherry magic au and I hope you guys can find it. have a good day :) @twlaei

FOUND? Pop the cherry~ by sweetdeadlykittypaws (E, 25k, XiCheng, Modern AU, Cherry Magic AU, Fluff, Attempt at Humor, Light Angst, Eventual Smut, Laboratories, Boss/Employee Relationship, Chemist!JC, CTO!LXC, Low Self-Esteem, Living Together, Attempted Kidnapping, Violence, Mobsters, Rimming, Anal Sex, possible ooc, Pining)

~*~

17. I’m looking for a fic with dark Lan Zhan/dark gusu lan. In the fic Jiang Cheng ends up hurting Wei Ying some how. I believe he has to try to escape through the forest from the juniors or something and it end by him coming across and watching Wei Ying and Lan Zhan in the Jingshi. @wangxian-is-my-life

FOUND! «The Fault In Jiāng Chéng» by Anonymous (M, 3k, WangXian, JC Bashing, Zǐdiàn Spiritual Tool, Blood and Injury, Sick WWX, Dark LWJ, Dark LXC, Smut, Stabbing)

~*~

18. Hello I was wondering if anyone could help me find this fic: I haven’t gotten a chance to read it because I lost it before I could, but the summary tells that Wei Wuxian is brought back into Mo Xuanyu’s buddy, and decides to continue hiding his identity and live as Mo Xuanyu. I’m pretty sure it was longer then one chapter but for more details I’m unsure. I find the premise really interesting and would love to find it again. @spacy-thoughts

FOUND? Gave my Heart and Soul by mel_darling (T, 47k, WangXian, Hurt/Comfort, References to Depression, Survivors Guilt, Angst with a Happy Ending, Misunderstandings, wwx knows Lwj was the one who kissed him, Canon Divergence, Panic Attacks, Anxiety, Pining, Healing, Gardening for the soul, Accidental Child Acquisition, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Nightmares) If 18 isn't it's at least very similar to what the poster's asking for

FOUND? 18 might be Focal, filler and line by bosbie. It’s hidden now, so maybe that’s why OP didn’t find it? It was already hidden and revealed before, so I hope they will reveal it again

~*~

19. Hello! Thank you for all your hard work! I am looking for a fic in which after the sunshine campaign and possibly after Jin Zixuan died YLLZ is blackmailed into leaving cultivation world and he ends up at Jinlintai or Qinghe. I remember that someone was reading his letters (might have been Jin Guangyao) and sending him their own and threatening his shijie and Jin Ling so he complied with their demands. I was reminded of this fic by recently asked for ‘ whipstitch’ by curiositykilled.

FOUND? Always walked a very thin line by tucuxi (T, 22k, NHS & WWX, JYL & WWX, WangXian)

I can't find the fic itself but I remember one that sounds exactly like this. It was one where WWX surrended to the cultivation world (maybe after Qiongqi Pass?) and was sentenced to be held by the Nie and not cultivate. There's a moment where LXC asks WWX to help him play Clarity for NMJ and WWX eventually has to tell him about his core.

~*~

20. Hi, please help me with this.

There's this fic i read a while ago which is either a oneshot or is a short fic with a few chapters.

There's some disaster looming upon humans via a beast and to appease it, a human is given to this being as a sacrifice once every few years.

This time lan wangji is the one who got the lot to be a sacrifice, so he sets alone (i think lan huan may have accompanied him to the shore to send him off but I'm not entirey sure) on a boat on turbulent river waters to the cave this beast resides in. The tone of the fic is just like turbulent waters, grey and dark blues. Heavy. Grim.

Lan wangji arrives at his destination (a cave?) and sees a being breathing there with red eyes(I'm not sure about the description of the beast tbh but think this is it).

The beast is some type of dragon or is atleast partial dragon.

Nobody knows what the beast does to the human sacrifices so lan wangji do not know what to expect.

The beast somehow communicates with wangji what it wants with him (i don't know if the beast talks or if wangji is able to sense the beast's thoughts. 60% sure it is the latter)

The next details are muddled in my mind but the outline is similar to what follows.

The beast wants wangji to be a vessel for it. They have sex and wangji feels the beast as it is big. It deposits either an egg or it's energy into wangji for him to nurture it. That is the purpose the beast finds in these human sacrifices. Wangji is willing, self righteous as he is and as he knows this is what will help humans avoid disaster upon the hands of the beast. The baby will come out not as a human but like the beast.

The description of the act is not sexual for the sake of being sexual and it is not porn without plot. It is not rape or non con.

In the middle of the sex or after the sex, after the egg/energy is deposited in wangji the beast transforms. It is of course wei ying.

I think they arrive at an agreement out of love or out of the need to protect or out of respect. Both if them accept each other as partners.

The fic ends like that i think.

FOUND! burning bright by la_muerta (E, 4k, wangxian, dragon WWX, porn with plot, virgin sacrifice, light bondage, gags, mating cycles/in heat, mpreg, loss of virginity (via consensual monster fucking), size difference, happy ending)

~*~

#wangxian #mdzs #wangxian fic finder #wangxian fic search #the untamed #wangxianficfinder #long post

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wannab-urs · 17 days

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Hiii! Forgive me if you already have this info posted somewhere that I didn't find, but I have been in desperate need of some Comfort Joel Miller... 🥺👉🏻👈🏻 Because real life has been stressful enough and riddled with anxiety 😩 And while I'm ALL about smutty goodness, I could really use some Emotional Hurt/comfort (or physical/protective), depressy/anxy, supportive bby boi shit to read. I'm not sure the best way to go about finding those stories specifically... So I figured I'd ask if you or writers you know have fic recommendations in those categories?? If so, that would be amazing 🖤

Hellooooo. I adore getting fic rec requests. Most of these are gonna have smut in them because I am just a girl (gn), but a few don't. I included some alternative stuff that's a little outside what you asked for, but similar enough.

Disclaimer: I have not read every fic on this list

One shots:

Breathe Through It by @tommysversion

Summary: you have a panic attack. Joel helps.

This is the one I think will be perfect for your request

Illicit Affairs by @schnarfer

Summary: A little angst-ridden affair with Joel Miller, as a treat?

From the author: "there is a butt load of angst and emotions? He's very supportive (of having an affair with him)"

Heavy Rain by @lunitawrites

summary: It´s been raining for weeks when Joel finds you curled up on his couch.

recced by @janaispunk !

Walking Through Fire by @macfrog

summary: you’re neck-deep in a bout of seasonal depression. your boyfriend suggests an autumnal walk.

recced by @janaispunk

Observations by @ezrasbirdie

summary: You're not like the other girls, but it'd be easier if you were. Joel Miller doesn't see it that way.

recced by @janaispunk

Series:

One Thing I'm Missing by @joelscruff

you and joel accidentally end up falling asleep together, and what follows is the beginning of a quiet and tender relationship neither of you saw coming

forever is the sweetest con by sistersadeyes (AO3)

Summary: your life, post-apocalypse, and the surly old survivor who darkens your door. Growing up with a doomsday prepper as a father hadn't been easy. But after the Outbreak, you can't help but feel a little grateful to the old man. You're almost sad he didn't make it long enough to see how right he'd been. You inherit the farm, the stockpile, and the bunker months before the Outbreak. And in the aftermath, you use it to prove that human kindness still exists, helping all those you can. Set 5 years after the Outbreak.

I cannot recommend this fic enough dawg

One Day at a Time by @sixhours

Summary: Joel becomes a dad. Again

Lots and lots of emotions, lots of growing together, very sweet, made me cry

A Heart For Eating by @motherofagony

Summary: a vicious raider attack robs you of human connection and lights a fire of destruction in your life in jackson. joel's fixated on you, and your lives tangle. revenge becomes a needful thing.

Mind the warnings, but this one is excellent. Joel's savior complex is nothing to be scoffed at.

WILDCARD -- ever thought about Din and Joel together? Do you like really long series?? I've got the fic for you

Cosmic Oddities by fromthewhales (AO3)

Summary: Turning a clan of two into a clan of four and asking the very important, albeit unhinged question: What if space dad and apocalypse dad were Weird About Each Other?

It's long as hell and it's a weird pairing and it fills my heart with joy. Joel and Din both have some hurt and they both give some comfort. this whole fic just makes me feel soft. It's precious.

Some hurt/comfort one shots but it's Joel that needs comforting:

Father's Day by @proxima-writes

Summary: Father’s Day is hard for Joel Miller after losing his daughter.

Seven by @proxima-writes

Summary: Joel Miller has spent twenty years pushing the grief and guilt surrounding the death of his daughter, Sarah, to the darkest recesses of his brain in favor of survival. Living a more quiet life in Jackson means the ghosts of his past have returned to haunt him. He finds his solace in you, the town librarian.

help me hold on to you by @proxima-writes

Summary: Joel always tries his best to keep his mind from wandering to its darkest corners, but occasionally, the frayed threads holding him together with sloppy stitches start to unravel. Sometimes you need to give him something to hold onto.

#the spreadsheet digest #outtakes #the spreadsheet outtakes #asks #rsquared31 #fic recs #joel miller fics #assuming this wasn't for my 2k fic recs lol

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ro-botany · 6 months

Text

@silque Hope you don't mind me pulling this into it's own post; it's a critical enough point that I really wanna expand on it.

For context for those who didn't read my recent longass post about Frederick in general: We're talking about the canonical age at which Emmeryn was crowned Exalt of Ylisse.

According to the numbers from Awakening Chapter 6, when Emm took the throne she was

NINE YEARS OLD

Maaaaaybe 10, at the most, if you stretch the meaning of "before her tenth year" a bit and play around with the exact date her dad died.

(To be clear, Frederick's age in that table is a headcanon, not canonical in any way)

You are making several excellent points and I'm Big Emotional about all of them, so naturally, I'm going to take four miles of post length to screech about this in more detail.

It is fucking wild to me that the game breezes by the war timeline and the ages of the royal kids so fast. To the point where I straight up missed it! Or forgot, I guess, in the years since my last full playthrough.

I just. I have to set the scene.

Ylisse has just been through an unfathomably bloody holy war. Almost anyone of fighting age was given a weapon and dragged to the desert to fight, leaving behind a halidom populated almost exclusively by children and the elderly, with a dwindling food supply. A country driven into desperation and chaos by its own ruler.

We don't know how the Exalt dies--if his own men turned mutiny or he was routed by Plegian forces or what--but the Exalt does die, and the war dies with him. When the news from the front finally trickles back to Ylisstol alongside what few broken men and women survived the violence, the oldest person of exalted blood is duty-bound to take his former place on the throne.

Overnight, nine-year old Emmeryn goes from playing with her baby brother and awaiting the day her baby sister is born, to being crowned Exalt of a dying country and a shattered populace that now turns all their hurt and ire onto her.

She has her council of old, withered politicians to guide her hand. She has the castle guards--all either old enough to be her grandparents or young enough to be her peers--to protect her from the worst of the violence. She has her mother, too--until one day, too soon, she doesn't.

The game certainly doesn't gloss over the tragedy of that. It neglects to emphasize the ages these kids were dealing with all this at, though. I could tangent off into another 500-1000 words about how fucked that family situation is if I chose to and the unique ways that has played into the characterization of everybody involved. That Emmeryn grew up to be as competent and well-loved a ruler as she did is a monumental feat, not only on her part, but on the parts of the people who supported and raised her.

And to bring it back to the man of the hour on this blog… At some point, Frederick became one of those people. He's been looking after Chrom and Lissa for who even knows how long; there is no doubt in my mind that, like tumblr user silque suggested, Frederick also helped look after Emmeryn. Helped her and her siblings make whatever sense of the ongoing tragedies they could, while probably dealing with a mountain of issues of his own.

He's something at the nexus between older brother, father, bodyguard to all of them. He's been by their side, a constant rock, since all four of them were arguably children. Frederick doesn't let his guard down for a second. He sees the weight on the shoulders of these kids, and he knows helping them bear it is the best thing he can do to help the people starving in his village and every other like it, or to help avert this war, or end that war swiftly. He devotes himself to this duty so utterly that he's practically killing himself from stress and overwork. Always watching for the wolf in the shadows, that Emmeryn and Chrom and Lissa might be able to avoid the fangs and continue being the beacons the halidom needs them to be.

Even when they're at peace, the eyes at the edge of the firelight are all he can see. It confuses Chrom and Lissa; and that's how he knows he's doing his job correctly.

And this relationship between Frederick and the royal siblings.

Is reduced to jokes about pebble-clearing and overzealous recruitment posters a solid 80% of the time.

I JUST.

I want to clarify that these games being goofy and silly and over the top as often as they are is one of their draws, and that I do enjoy how just, cartoonishly cautious Frederick can be. I love the jokes. I am that guy who played the Before Awakening DLC in Fates literally 128 times to max out the pebble joke weapon. In no world do I think we need to wholly kill comedy here.

But at the same time I can't help but be blown away by how often the heart in this relationship is neglected in favour of comedy. The second you start thinking about how Frederick got where he is and why he is the way he is, there is just, SO much there.

It's of dubious canonicity at best, but I want you to read the conversations that Chrom and Frederick have with Emmeryn during her recruitment paralogue. I want you to notice how Chrom, though clearly emotional, is capable of putting his emotions aside, and opts to focus on keeping her safe rather than indulging in his grief, which he knows would only confuse her.

And then I want you to notice how Frederick, stoic, icy Frederick, breaks down. A paragraph of two years of repressed grief comes tumbling out all at once to a woman who, ultimately, is only a ghost of the person he knew. He begs her forgiveness. He cannot, cannot think clearly or objectively in this moment. He hurts too deeply. He cares too much.

The so-called Cold Lieutenant of the Shepherds cares so deeply and self-sacrificingly about everyone and it can be really damn funny, or utterly heart-melting, or utterly heart-breaking depending on the situation and how you play it. AND YET. THE SIDE CHARACTER CURSE. The most genuinely they ever play this bond is in a side chapter that isn't even canon.

How do I end this post.

I am inconsolable for SEVERAL REASONS.

#fe awakening #frederick #emmeryn #chrom #lissa #long post #i continue to be allergic to brevity #like half of this is being stunned by the immense childhood trauma the ylissean royal sibs went through #and the other half is weeping over how fred's side character curse interacts with that #there's barely a coherent point to this #i made the mistake of listening to divine decree and then saw that reply and got riled #and when i get riled i vomit 1000 words out and then collapse

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aleksa-sims · 11 months

Text

RL Simself-Story (18+)

CW: trauma

Previous / Next

Start

⚠️CW: violence 🔻

Time to tell who attacked Daniel and me and why they even did it.

It all started 2 years ago, when Daniel was with Irena. I once told that Irena used to work in bars & night clubs because Daniel spent all their money on drugs. One day Irena got sick and couldn’t really work. She was feeling ill, so she asked Daniel for help. He was supposed to help her a bit serving drinks at the bar in a club. She knew there would be a lot going on. So Daniel of course helped her. But that night something bad happened in that night club. 20-15 men stormed the club and randomly stabbed people.

Luckily nothing happened to Daniel and Irena, they didn’t even notice what happened at first, because the security guys stopped the perpetrators from doing more damage. No one was seriously injured or killed, except for 5 men who were found in the men’s room. They had severe stab wounds but survived!! When chaos broke out, everyone left the club but some people were injured on the ground. Daniel went to those people who were injured. He tried to help them and get them out of there. Only a few minutes later the police arrived. 6 of the perpetrators were handcuffed to the ground while the cops secured everything. They wanted to harm the nightclub owner with that sick act. That's why they did this!... The club owner eventually came to Daniel and thanked him for his help. He shook his hand. But one of the six perps observed this situation and memorized Daniel’s face very well. He thought Daniel was that club owner's son. And he actually looked like him a bit and was the same age as that guy.

And exactly this perpetrator, who observed the situation with Daniel and the club owner, recognized Daniel 2 years later, (6 weeks ago) when he and I went home, that terrible night. That’s why they attacked us! It wasn’t even planned, it was totally spontaneous. While Daniel and I were with his sister, two of the perpetrators waited until we left her apartment. The other two men stole a car! When Daniel and I left our own car after we parked in that dark alley, the 4 men decided to attack us. And Idk if you remember, but I said that one of the perps ransacked my bag because he wanted to see or check my ID. You know why he did this? He wanted to know where I am from! That I am not German, is obvious but the perps were also not Germans. They originally came from Kosovo (Albania) but grew up in Germany. Their families and parents experienced bad things during the Kosovo war, which is why they developed a deep hatred for a certain group of people. The 4 perpetrators belonged to an extremist group that had only death and destruction in mind. And that one nightclub owner they tried to hurt two years ago, wasn’t a nice guy either. He was also a member of a criminal, devious group or something. Idk, really! In any case, this man was also not from Germany, he was from ex Yugoslavia (Serbia). And his homeland and Albania were at war for years. The hatred between him and the 4 men arose because they were all destroyed by their obsessed faith and religion. No sorry! Religion is not to blame, I mean their fanaticism has destroyed them and their false faith. It was about the senseless, old hatred between Christians and Muslims. And when I found out, I was just wondering what did daniel and I have to do with all this????? And we absoulutly had nothing to do with that club owner and his shit! However, I was lucky that I had my dad’s family/last name at that time and not my mom’s as 15 years ago. They would have killed me without blinking, if they had read my mom’s last name on my ID. Anyway, now you know why those men wanted to kill Daniel. Daniel was just trying to help injured people in that damn club and almost paid for it with his life two years later.

So yea, that's the world we're living in today. War and suffering were the triggers that turned those four men into monsters. They were blind with rage & unable to distinguish between good and evil.

#ts4 #sims 4 #sims 4 story #my rl with my simself #simself #myrlgameplay #cw trauma #cw violence #cw war #cw religious themes

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batman-obsession-by-secret · 10 months

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Decided to upload the one fanfic that I actually managed to finish so far on here as long as ao3 is being attacked.

It‘s a Fake relationship AU between Stephanie Brown and Tim Drake (Batman all Media types) that DOES NOT end in a real relationship as Tim is together with Conner. Roughly 8.500 words. Deals with asexuality and aromanticism and includes conversations about sexuality etc.

Read here ⬇️

Wanna be my beard? Is a work of fiction that is based on works in the DC universe.

Originally published on Archive of our own, under the alias brunedoutstudentwithaloveforfoundfamily

Note to Reader

This work was written by me and is riddled with grammatical and orthographic errors as I did not have a beta-reader. Also, regardless of weather you know about asexuality and aromanticism, I want you to understand, that some of the conversations depicted are loosely based on conversations I myself had with friends. Just because I feel represented in my sexuality and romantic attraction in this work, it does not mean that every person on the asexual and/or aromantic spectrum will feel the same. That is because it is a SPECTRUM. My experiences do not have to be like those of other asexual aromantics for me to be part of this spectrum and the other way around. It can help to compare yourself to others to figure out your identity, but it can also be harmful to focus on the differences rather than the similarities.

Start:

One of the many abilities he had gained as a bat was feeling it when somebody was watching him. Given that he was slumped over in his seat in the middle of the night, with only the blue light of his laptop illuminating the room, it was probably Alfred or, less likely, Bruce who had come to tell him to go to sleep. But both of them would have said something by now rather than standing in the door and just watching. Dick was in Blüdhaven, Jason wouldn’t enter the manor unless he was convinced into joining them for dinner by Alfred, and the demon spawn had no reason to visit him at four in the morning. Even if he did, he would have just thrown a shoe or something at Tim’s head and leave again.

Slowly Tim turned around and looked at the door.

Stephanie was standing there, T-posing and staring at the wall in front of her, wearing a weird mixture of pyjamas and her costume.

“What the hell do you want, Steph?” Tim asked exasperated.

“Ooooh, he has senses! Honestly, I thought your brain had morphed with your computer by now. Or did the camera tell you that you weren’t alone anymore?”

“Come on, Steph, it’s like four in the morning. Why are you here?”

Stephanie let her arms fall to her sides and quickly moved over to his bed, making herself at home. It was clear that whatever she wanted would take some time, so Tim sighed and turned off his laptop before turning around with his chair and moving his legs until he was sitting criss-cross applesauce.

“I just came home after patrol” Stephanie started, “and I had a very shitty day at the office and had some questions for you.”

“If you want me to give you pointers on how to survive in a company, I cannot help you. Half of my survival skills come from being the CEO and literally being allowed to fire people if they are assholes” Tim replied dryly, “If you really want help ask Uncle Clark.”

“Actually, this is something you can help me with better than anybody else I know.”

Tim raised his eyebrow doubtfully.

“Soooooo, Tim, you’re gay, right?”

“I mean, queer, but close enough.” Tim was getting really distrustful now.

“Yeah, but you are into men and in a relationship with a guy and happy in that relationship, right?”

“Obviously”

“And your dad can never find out, right?”

“Yes?”

“And I’m asexual aromantic...”

“….yeah?”

“And we both know than men ain’t shit and don’t take no for an answer unless the girl has a boyfriend...”

“Just-” Tim sighed and raised his hand to his brows, kneading the skin between them “What are you trying to say, Steph?”

“Wanna be my beard?” Stephanie grinned and wriggled her eyebrows at him with a huge grin on her face.

“Wha- like a fake relationship?”

“Yeah! I mean, think about it! You get to prove to your dad that you are definitely not gay, and I don’t have to deal with idiots who ask me out on dates at work, even if I say no literally every time somebody asks,” she shrugs.

“I thought you gave your cat a human name just to get out of these kinds of situations?”

“Yeeeeaaah, but people started getting suspicious because I couldn’t show them any pictures of me with my boyfriend, and everybody else has pictures of their partners on their desk or at the very least as their phone background. So, are you interested?” She leaned forwards on the bed, still with a shit eating grin on her face.

“I mean... I would have to ask Kon first. What exactly would this entail anyways?��

“For me it would just be a few leading pictures and maybe you could join me on the office-Christmas party or some shit. And I guess I could accompany you to some family dinners or whatever you do with your dad?”

“You know what? Deal!”

…

The thing about Stephanie was that she didn’t do things half assed. When she had talked about “a few leading pictures” Tim had imagined some uncomfortable pictures with him hugging her from the back like couples always did. He did not expect her to take pictures of him sleeping, or to book an actual photographer for a couple-session in the park.

Admittedly, it was a lot of fun, though.

Kon had decided to join them on all their little fake-relationship adventures. Not because he didn’t trust Tim but because he wanted to laugh at them while they embarrassed themselves.

At first it had been embarrassing too, but the longer they were taking pictures, the more relaxed Tim became and as such he actually started to have fun.

Stephanie was wearing a beautiful long purple dress and had forced Tim into a suit in the exact same colour. They had started out with the typical “staring deeply into each other eyes” stuff and “hold hands while hugging a tree”, but now they had reached the “throw leaves at each other” and “pretend you`re drunk while walking” part of the shoot.

Instead of throwing the leaves into the air so they would artfully fall down around them, Tim had full on launched them at Stephanies face. They had found random bugs in her hair and dress for about ten minutes after that and Con had laughed so much, he had started to cry.

Then Stephanie had pretended to be drunk not by slightly staggering and laughing like intended, but instead by leaning her entire body weight onto Tim who unfortunately was still smaller than her. When he had shoved her away, she had tumbled down half the hill before eventually letting herself fall and roll down the rest of the way. The photographer had been very concerned while Tim and Conner were nearly choking of laughter. Bruce of course had taught all the Batkids how to properly fall before he had started teaching anything else, so there really wasn’t a reason to worry.

In the end, they had a very exasperated photographer who had a lot fewer good pictures than planned, two very dirty, and three very happy clients. Tim ended up giving the photographer an enormous tip as an apology. It would still take about a week until they would see the results, because the photographer was going to photoshop them first to adjust the lightning and such. By now Tim and Steph couldn’t wait for the pics.

After spending half of the day in the park (miraculously without Ivy interrupting them) the three decided to go to a restaurant for a “fake date”. That had been Conner’s idea and Tim was pretty sure he had only said that because he was truly hungry, but they decided that they hadn’t gone to a proper restaurant together in such a long time, that it only suited to do so now.

“Jesus fuck, Stephanie, don’t you know how to use a knife?” Tim laughed as Stephanie bit of another piece of steak that she had simply punctured with her fork and was now holding up in a single piece.

Stephanie said... something. Tim really couldn’t understand her with her mouth full.

Instead, he turned around to his boyfriend. Conner had ordered some type of steamed buns that were served with a hot pear-custard. Tim had originally thought that it was more suited as dessert, but when the dish arrived, they soon realised that the so-called buns were a lot bigger than expected. They were, however, very fluffy and Tim was dying for a taste.

Luckily, he knew his boyfriend well enough to not even have to ask.

“Ah” he said and opened his mouth suggestively. Con grinned and dipped his fork with a piece of bun into the custard again, before feeding it to Tim.

“Eeew, love” Stephanie commented loudly enough for the people a table over to turn their heads.

“Shhhh!” Tim hissed angrily at her despite his full mouth and ducked his head as he caught the eyes of the man next to them. Quickly he kicked her leg beneath the table, and she started swearing at him (luckily considerably quieter than before), but when Tim caught Conner only laughing at the situation, he couldn’t help but stare at him and smile. Soon enough Conner stopped laughing. He leaned forward and put his tilted face in his hand before reaching over with the other one and stroking over Tim’s lower lip where he had apparently spilled some of the gravy during their little dispute.

“God, you guys are disgusting” Stephanie said, but when Tim threw her an angry look, he saw that she as well was smiling.

“Must be horrible to be confronted with the exact same thing you are trying to get away from, huh?” he teased.

“Meh, it’s easier when I know that I’m not involved in it, you know? Like if somebody was staring at me the way Conner was just staring at you, I’d probably go find the next toilet to escape through the window” she laughed. “But when I see him looking at you like that, I’m honestly just happy for the two of you.”

“Awww, that’s so nice of you” Tim responded.

“Wait, I’m a little confused” commented Conner “I thought the two of you used to be a thing? Was the relationship with him so bad that you just decided to never try that again?” he laughed, though clearly in an uncomfortable way, as if he was a little scared of the answer or rather of offending someone.

“Nah, don’t worry. Our relationship was great! I mean we didn’t go very far, but the things we did do were nice... in a way. I think both of us only started that relationship because we didn’t really understand our sexualities yet but were became such good friends so quickly that we both though “huh, guess this is that love-thing everybody keeps talking about”, you know?” she explained.

“Yeah,” Tim added “I think the main reason we both were happy in that relationship was because both of us were actually so uninterested in anything truly sexual or romantic with the other one that neither of us felt as if we were being pressured into anything. Honestly, apart from you of course, Steph was the partner I felt the most comfortable around-”

“Awwww”

“Shut up! But yes, we broke up, because I had my first ever real crush and realised that maybe what Steph and I had simply wasn’t love. And I guess both of us were stupid enough to think that breaking up meant having to hate each other and avoid each other for ever, cause that’s what they show in the TV and stuff, so we pretty much cut off contact after the breakup. And then when we met again, we realised that we actually still acted the exact same way around each other as we did before, just without the weird attempts at making out, so we became friends again, and here we are” he shrugged.

“Oh, so you’re not just a lesbian?” asked Connery and put an arm around Tim’s shoulders while stuffing another piece of bun into his mouth.

“What? No! What made you think that?”

“Well, when Tim told me about your fake relationship, he told me there was no way you could try to make this into something more serious and I guess I just assumed...”

“No, no, I’m asexual aromantic.”

“Oh, asexuals are those who don’t have sex, right? So aromantics don’t fall in love?”

“Well, not quite. Asexuals can have sex if they want to, but many don’t want to or are even sex-repulsed but most of the time asexuality is defined as not feeling sexual attraction at all. Like not looking at someone and thinking “oh, they look hot” and stuff like that. But yeah, aromantics don’t feel romantic attraction. But you know both of these terms are umbrella terms so there are a lot of people that define themselves as aromantic or asexual but don’t fully fit the description I just gave you.”

“So, what about you?”

“Yeah, I don’t feel any sexual or romantic attraction and I also absolutely do not want to have sex. I mean everything about that just kind of freaks me out? I’m pretty sure if somebody sent me a dickpic I would just immediately throw up and if I had to touch one... god, I can’t even imagine. I mean they are just so disgusting? And vulvas are weird too? But I have one, so they are kinda okay, but like I don’t even like to masturbate and if I do masturbate, I don’t touch it with my fingers, cause yuck, so I just use toys. But yeah, my sex-drive is pretty small anyways, so I just masturbate like every few weeks?”

“Okay, that might be a bit too much information, Steph!” Tim interrupted while throwing a look around the restaurant. There was a young couple nearby who had stopped talking to listen as soon as Stephanie had started her rant and a server had approached their table, assumably to pour them more water, but had immediately left when she had heard their topic.

“No, actually, it’s really interesting to hear this!” Conner commented “I mean, I never really get the chance to hear about the opposite of my attraction you know? After all education is the most important weapon and I think we all know, that no sex-education teacher would ever get into such depth” he laughed.

“Oh please, as if this would get mentioned in sex-ed at all! I didn’t even learn about anal sex being a possibility until Bruce decided that school sex ed was shit and that he had to teach us about the real world.”

“True, in my first sex-ed class the teacher taught us, that every decision we did was subconsciously because of our sexuality and as an example she said that whenever we got dressed we subconsciously tried to look good to out crushes, which confused the FUCK out of me, because back then, the only person I actually wanted to impress was my mother, and I was actually trying to look like a good daughter whenever I got dressed. Seriously thought I had like an Oedipus complex because of that!”

Tim burst into laughter at that and didn’t manage to stay quiet, causing even more people to start staring at them.

“What’s an Oedipus complex?” asked Conner and Tim’s head whipped around to him with a face full of disbelieve before he started laughing even more.

“It’s when you wanna fuck your mom”.

“Ew, what the fuck? Who would even think about that?!?!”

“Well certainly not you, unless you decide to classify Lex Luthor as your mom”.

“Oh my god” exclaimed Conner and gagged while Tim laughed so hard, he had to hold onto the table and Steph’s grin became even more devious.

“Anyways, back to the masturbation thing...”

“No, please I don’t want to hear it if it involves your mom!”

“It does NOT! I said I only THOUGHT I had an Oedipus complex because that useless-ass teacher decided to generalize an experience that only y’all allosexual-hypersexual-perverted-horny-ass-dumbasses have!!!!”

“Please!” Tim managed to get out between his gasps “No more, Steph. I can’t breathe” and he wiped away tears of laughter from under his eyes.

“Shut up, I’m educating Mr. Kent here!” Steph turned back to Connor and put on an unexpectedly serious face “So basically porn doesn’t do it for me and hentai used to do it for me, but now I only find stuff that is like extremely unrealistic and often super rapey so most of the time I just listen to people having sex because auditive stimulation gets me going-”

“Errr...”

“And I can’t even imagine myself in sexual situations. Like my phantasies always surround other people-”

“Real people?”

“No like book characters and stuff.”

“Huh”

“Like 50 shades of grey”

“Excuse me?”

“Sure, the book was unrealistic as fuck and not particularity well written – in my personal opinion- but it was good if you wanted to read some smutty porn, you know?”

“No, I don’t. I don’t read porn... or watch it, to be honest.”

Tim stopped laughing and looked at Conner in surprise. “Really? You don’t watch porn?”

Connor shrugged a little uncomfortably. “Am I supposed to? I don’t know it never really did something for me...”

“No, you don’t have to. I just kind of saw you as.... I mean you have a pretty high sex drive” Tim commented with a face as red as a tomato and threw another quick glance around, suddenly caring about the other people in the restaurant again.

“I mean yeah, I do, but porn just doesn’t do it for me? Like it is so different from any sexual experience I ever had... it’s kind of like watching a very bad actor?”

“Mh, yeah, I guess I get that....”

“By the way, Tim. When I started this whole fake-dating thing you said that you were queer rather than gay, but when you broke up with me you said you were gay.... just.. I guess I’m a little confused. Can you explain that a little more? If you want to, I mean. No pressure and all that, you don’t owe me an explanation or anything, I just thought, since we’re already talking about it and stuff....”

“Yeah! Sure! I mean, a lot about my understanding about myself has changed since we broke up. When we broke up I truly though I was gay, but since then I had a few minor crushes on girls that made me rethink that, you know? It’s just that when you say “I’m bisexual” most people think that you like boys and girls the same amount, but I kind of prefer boys? Like every time I had a crush on a girl it went away quicker, but it also took a lot longer for me to develop one and it was always on a girl that I was already friends with."

He stroked his chin “I kind of thought that I might be a bit like demi-romantic when it comes to girls but a full-blown allosexual when it comes to boys? I don’t think there is an extra label for it, but I also feel the most comfortable with “queer” just because most of the realizations I had about my sexuality were years apart and I’m kinda scared to come out as something and realizing later on, that a different label fist better...”

“Well, sexuality is fluid. I think it is totally normal to find out later on that a label that used to be perfect feels different now.”

“Yeah, I know. The thing is coming out is already hard, but coming out a second time because you were wrong the first time? I would probably be too scared that people say “see I knew you lied” or “see it WAS a phase” to even come up with the courage for that. Apart from that...” he reached over and took Conners hand in his, smiling shily at him “as long as the two of us are together, any possible changes regarding my sexual identity won’t make a difference anyway.”

“Awww” Conner said and leaned down to press a tender kiss on Tim’s lips.

“I’m pansexual by the way” he said when he sat back again.

“HA! So, you ARE my complete opposite!” exclaimed Steph and Connor laughed again.

“Yeah, I guess so.”

…

The pictures came in less than a week later and they were amazing. The lighting was perfect, and the photographer had given himself the trouble to photoshop every single stray hair and pimple until the pictures looked crispy clean.

Most importantly they were cringy as fuck.

Tim loved them so much, that he went to find Alfred’s stock of picture frames and put the ones that were the worst onto the bedside table not only in the manor, but also his nest and some of his most frequently used safehouses. When Connor found out about that he decided to do the same just to fuck with everybody who ever visited him.

Stephanie on the other hand decided to take the most realistic looking ones and framed them for her office. Additionally, she forced Tim to take some selfies that she used as her phone background.

Technically they were now done from her side of the deal. The only reason why she could need Tim’s assistance again was if there were any company dinners or somebody still decided that she wasn’t if the table yet. Apparently, there was one very insistent co-worker Tim might have to scare off by actually showing up at her workplace though they both hoped that they would be able to avoid that.

But Stephanie still had to show up for her part of the deal which meant a dinner with Tim’s father and his new girlfriend Dana.

Tim was a very particular planner, and he had a backup plan for every possible situation which led to Stephanie staying at the manor with him for nearly a week prior to the dinner just going through all the possibilities.

The idea was pretty simple: Tim had already requested to be allowed to bring a +1 to the dinner and he would bring Stephanie over and driver her home (which of course meant the manor). Stephanie would wear on of the formal dresses she normally only wore to Bruce’s balls or charity events, and she would only speak about “proper” topics in a “proper” language to ensure that Jack Drake was pleased.

Jason had walked in on the two going through the pronunciation of certain archaeology terms that Jack was sure to bring up and had joked about them being the real-life version of Pygmalion and asked if they needed help from a professional.

Neither of them had gotten the joke which led to Jason walking away and muttering about “the uneducated youth”.

When the day came, both of them got dressed at the manor and decided to take Tim’s car to drive the admittedly very short drive over to Drake-manor. It didn’t occur to Stephanie that they hadn’t actually told anyone what exactly they were doing until the two were standing at the front door and Alfred came over to fix Tim’s hair and tie.

He had a weir look on his face. An unnatural state of nearly fully hidden confusion and pride. The confusion seemed to win over though.

Damian didn’t seemto have any interest in hiding his emotions. He was standing on top of the stairs with disgust clearly written all over his face. Next to him was Bruce who looked as if he was trying to solve a particularly tricky trap by the Riddler.

Stephanie was kind of sad that Dick, Jason, and Duke weren’t there. Cass would have either looked through their intentions within a second or at the very least hid her emotions well enough for Steph not to get it.

Tim seemed to be blissfully unaware of the tumult he had caused in his family’s minds.

“Thanks, Alf. We should be back in around 4-5 hours. I doubt it’ll take longer than that... at the very least you won’t have to plan for us for dinner. See ya!” He said and waved at all the people in the room before literally taking Steph’s hand to lead her out of the door.

As soon as the door shut behind them Steph snorted.

“What?” Tim asked.

“You didn’t tell them, did you?” She didn’t have to wait for an answer. His confused face told her more than enough. “Oh my god, Timmy. They all think we’re an actual couple now!” she laughed.

“What? No, they don’t.”

“Well, if they didn’t think so when we went out, clearly overdressed and claiming that we’re going out for dinner than they certainly thought so when you took my hand just then.”

Tim quickly let go of her hand as if he had burned himself and stared at her in shock.

“I only did that to get into the role!”

“Yeah, I know that, but they don’t.”

“Oh my god, that’s horrible” Tim swore and held his head in his hands “No, wait!” he looked up, clearly having had an epiphany “This is great! Oh, I can totally use that against them!”.

…

The dinner seemed to go well as far as Stephanie could tell.

They had decided to stay as close to the truth as possible, which meant that they admitted having had a relationship before, when Jack asked how long they had known each other, though they lied and claimed that they broke up, because Stephanie moved away for some while.

She had also admitted to her office job, which had been the absolute low of the entire dinner, as Jack had managed to subtly hint what he thought about office workers. Fucking rich people and their obsessions with good paying jobs- HA! I’m kidding. Their obsession with pretending their inherited money way showed their own hard work and achievements. Yeah, sure. Who are we kidding?

Still, Stephanie thought everything was going well.

Dana was very interested and attentive, leading the conversation away from work and over to hobbies. She generally showed good abilities to settle or even avoid any disputes.

So, Stephanie was certainly surprised, when she went for the bathroom and immediately walked into Tim when she exited.

“What the hell, Tim?”

“Plan F, we have to kiss.”

“What? What the fuck, Tim?”

“You agreed to all my plans!”

“Yeah, but only because I thought there was no way we would get further than C!”

“Come on, Steph. My dad does not believe us! We have to step up our game.”

“Can’t we start with like holding hands and stuff?”

“We did that the entire evening! I’m telling you, he does not believe us! I’m just talking about like a short peck, nothing more. We used to fully make out!”

“Okay, thanks, please don’t remind me of that. Fine, I’m okay with a short peck. Is Connor okay with that?”

“Yeah, don’t worry I asked him.”

“Okay, when?”

“Just at the end, when we leave. Jack is going to watch us get into the car and drive away, I promise. As suspicious as he is, he definitely will. I’ll hold the door open for you and we can give each other a short kiss before we enter the car and then drive of immediately.”

“Alright, let’s do it.”

…

It still took about an hour more until they were even able to leave. Jack had hired a cook just for the day and apparently that meant that 3 courses was not enough.

Eventually they managed to convince Jack and Dana that Stephanie had to be home early enough to get some proper sleep before she had to head to work (a lie, she didn’t work tomorrow). When Jack asked Tim where he was going to stay the night, he told him that he was going to stay with Steph, and there was a short moment of uncomfortable silence before Jack nodded but not without suspicion.

Finally, they managed to get their goats and just as Tim had predicted Jack went outside to see them of.

Tim led Stephanie to the passenger side of the car and opened the door. Just before she went to sit down, the two turned towards each other and Tim gave her a short smile, before she leaned down to give him a short kiss on the lips.

For a second, she could taste the sweat on his upper lip, but then the kiss was over and Tim soon closed the door after her.

In the mirror she saw him walk around the car and waving at his father, who looked a lot more convinced than before. Tim entered the car and started driving before he even put on the seatbelt. The two of them managed to wait until they were out of sight before Tim abruptly stopped the car.

“Eww, this used to be better back when I was straight!” Tim exclaimed and violently rubbed his sleeve over his lips. Steph quickly got a water bottle from the back of the car and started gurgling with it before opening the door and spitting the water onto the street.

“What are you doing? It’s not like it was a French kiss!”

“No, but I still got your taste on my tongue. God, why was your lip so sweaty? This was like kissing my brother!” she complained.

“I was nervous!”

“About kissing me?”

“Oh, please, been there, done that! I was nervous about my dad obviously!”

…

When they arrived at Wayne manor minutes later, Tim parked the car outside and once again went to open Stephanies door.

“Oh, thank you, my love” Steph mocked, and Tim grinned.

As they reached the entrance door, he held her back again.

“Hey, I just wanted to thank you for this. I know it wasn’t easy to let yourself be mocked by my father like that and to listen to his rambles for hours. So, yeah.... thank you.”

Stephanie smiled at him and eventually opened her arms in an invitation. It had been quite a while since the two had shared such an honest hug. The last few years had been filled with hardships and deceptions. It was good to know that the two had finally managed to get to a point where they could truly leave all of that behind them.

It also wasn’t often that either of them had the chance to enjoy a hug as long as this one without being interrup....

Somebody cleared their throat beside them, and Stephanie and Tim immediately separated.

“You two had a good time?” Jason asked from where he was standing in the door. He was holding his motorcycle helmet under his arm, clearly on his way to leave, and had one brow lifted in amusement and surprise.

Instead of explaining the situation, like Stephanie was just about to do, Tim gave him a blinding grin.

“Yes, thanks, anyways, goodbye!” he said and grabbed Stephanies hand, guiding her past Jason and into the manor.

…

Tim and Connor were cuddling in Tim’s bed in his nest, when Stephanie barged in through the window. Connor had Tim secured in his arms, playing the part of the big spoon for a change, while Tim was holding onto his arm with one hand and scrolling through his phone with the other. They had spent the day together and had decided to make the best of the little time they had before Tim had to leave for patrol. Unfortunately, due to the level of caffeine in Tim’s system, sleeping was off the table, so cuddling it was.

“Tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiim” Stephanie whined and threw herself on top of the two, causing Connor to laugh.

“Ugh, what do you want Steph?”

“They don’t believe me.”

“Mh? Who doesn’t believe what?”

“Elijah, that dude from work doesn’t believe me. Or maybe he just doesn’t care. But he’s still insisting to go out with me!”

“I don’t understand,” Con chimed in “Why don’t you just tell him no?”

“Wha.. Seriously Con? I did!!! He just doesn’t fucking care and doesn’t know how to take no for an answer!”

“So? You have the combined power of Robin, Batgirl, and Spoiler in your fists. Just make him understand.” Connor answered coldly.

“God, I wish I could, but B would kill me for that.”

“Doesn’t he have a no-kill-policy?”

“I meant figuratively.”

“Ooooh, Stephanie, pulling out the big words!”

“Oh, fuck off.”

“What exactly do you want me to do, though? I already posed for pictures with you.” Tim asked. He now had his eyes closed, clearly trying to mentally escape from the situation. The entire day had been so nice, just him and Connor, all on their own, in either silence or calm conversations.... why did Stephanie have such a loud voice?

“Come to the company Christmas party with me?”

“Pretty sure Bruce will throw some type of event that I’ll have to attend so no thanks, I’ll pass.”

“Ugh, fine, can you like pick me up from work or something?”

“That sounds.... doable.”

Stephanie grinned. “Great! I’ll see you tomorrow then!”

“Wait, no, I don’t have time tomor...” but Stephanie had already left through the window again.

Tim sighed defeated.

“Not that I mind, honey, but how long are the two of you planning to continue with this?” Connor asked.

“I don’t know. I mean I think my father is convinced. Tomorrow will probably be the last time...” he sighed once more, “Hey, Con, what are you doing tomorrow?”

…

He wasn’t entirely sure, why he was so nervous, but here he was, in nice but comfortable clothes and a bouquet of flowers in his hand, standing in front of the building Steph was working in.

It was an ugly looking office complex that had some visible cracks in its foundation, but considering that this was Gotham, it looked pretty good.

There was no receptionist or security, so Tim simply walked in and after a short look at the elevator decided to take the stairs up to the fourth floor.

To say that Stephanies workplace was chaotic would have been an understatement. There seemed to be a couple of private offices at the edge of the giant room he entered immediately after leaving the stairs. Within the room however there were no separating walls but only thin plywood that barely gave anybody the privacy of not being seen when the sat. It only reached up to Tim’s chest when he was standing, and he was man enough to admit that he wasn’t exactly the tallest of people.

It was loud. Hundreds of people seemed to be talking at the same time and several phones were ringing from different directions. That paired with the constant clicking of keyboards and the whirring of the coffee machines and the lights created an unbearable mixture of sounds.

He saw several people wearing headphones, and absolutely everybody had an absolutely dead expression of their face.

Tim would have never found Stephanie if he hadn’t seen Elijah. At least he assumed that it was Elijah from the description Stephanie had given him. A washed-out blue button down, sleeked back blonde hair, and a devilish grin. He was slumped over one of the plywood walls which made him very visible as he was the only head Tim could fully see over the borders.

He was apparently talking to somebody, and his grin quickly changed to a badly executed puppy look and pout as Tim came closer.

“Aww, come on honey, I’m just asking for a single date, mh? Couple of drinks, maybe a little fun, that’s all.”

“And once again, no, I’m not interested.” Tim heard Stephanie answer. Her voice sounded resigned as if she had had the same conversation on a daily basis.

“Oh, come on, don’t be like that. I’m a great guy, really! I bet I could make you feel better than your boyfriend.” Elijah went on.

“Better than me? I doubt that.” Tim decided to interrupt and gave Elijah a blinding smile when he whipped his head around to him. Stephanie quickly stood up, clearly not having expected Tim to show up at this moment.

“Tim! Hey! I didn’t think you... aww are those flowers?”

“Of course, babe, I wouldn’t want to show up empty handed.” Right then and there, Tim decided to play his part as a loving boyfriend as overbearingly as possible, immediately leaning over the plywood and pressing a kiss on Stephanies cheek. “I missed you honey,”

Stephanie laughed, “we saw each other yesterday.”

“An eternity without you” answered Tim, and yeah, he may have overdone it a little bit just now.

“You are Timothy Jackson Drake!” Elijah exclaimed in disbelieve from the side. When Tim looked over, he saw with satisfaction, that his face had gone white, clearly seeing that he couldn’t compete with Tim.

“And you are?” Tim asked back, sending a disapproving and obvious look down Elijah’s body.

“I.. Uhm... Elijah.”

“A-ha,” Tim said, attempting to show his disinterest in Elijah’s person before turning back to Stephanie “I got a date planned, honey, care to join me?”

“I.. Still have to work though?”

“Oh, don’t worry about that,” Tim grinned, “I’m sure somebody in my position can convince your boss for a few hours off.”

He walked around her and started to gather her things, noticing, that the room had become decidedly quieter as many workers were peeking over their workstations to see what was happening.

He went ahead and grabbed Stephanies coat, holding it up to help her put it on, before putting some of her stuff in her bag. It was then, that he saw the array of pictures she had on her workspace. While Tim himself had put up their fake dating pictures in basic frames, Stephanie had apparently opted to decorate her frames with an array of rhinestones and bows and alike. It looked like she had given them to a group of five-year-olds and let them do with it whatever they wanted.

She had however chosen some of the more realistic looking pictures.

Tim pointed at a random one of them. “That one is my favourite,” he commented, before taking Stephanies hand and leading her away from her desk.

Dozens of eyes seemed to follow them as they made their way to the exit.

As soon as they were out of sight, Tim wound his hand out of hers and snatched the flowers again.

“Hey! Those were mine!”

“Oh, don’t be ridiculous. Why would I get you flowers? They are for Connor.”

He had barely finished his sentence when Connor was suddenly standing next to him.

“Flowers?” he asked excitedly, and Tim couldn’t help but smile at him. This time it was a real one and not faked, as he handed the flowers over to Con.

“Sure! Do you like them?” he asked. He hadn’t been exactly sure what kind of flowers Connor would like. All those stereotypical-date flowers had seemed unfitting.

“I love chamomiles!” Connor exclaimed, “grandma always makes sure not to cut them when she tends to her garden, just because I think they are so pretty!”

“You two are adorable.” Steph commented.

“Yeah, we are also on a date,” Tim answered, “So scatter, we need some alone time.”

“Aww, come on. What am I supposed to do? You just took me out of work like 4 hours early!”

“There is no way, you can tell me, that you are enjoying that job.”

“Of course not, but it is better than boredom. Can’t I join you two?”

“Absolutely not!” Tim said at the same time as Connor answered “Sure, why not?”

The two stared at each other. Finally, Tim gave in.

“Fine, but if you destroy my date time, I’ll finish you.”

Minutes later, the three were strolling down some of the nicer streets of Gotham. Connor was holding the flowers in one hand and Tim’s hand in his other, as they were heading towards one of Tim’s favourite coffeeshops.

…

“We might have a problem.” Steph said before even greeting Tim and Connor.

“Why, what’s up?”

Alfred had convinced all of them to come to the manor. Over the last couple of years, the relationships within the family had gotten better. Only slightly so, but enough to go from weekly Saturday dinners to at least on movie or game night a month. There were only very few reasons that were seen as good enough to skip one and most of those included being of planet on a mission.

Lately most of them brought friends or lovers as well, so it wasn’t a surprise to anyone when Tim had invited Connor. He blended in just as well as Roy and Starfire.

It was still an hour or so until they would even start. Alfred was busy in the kitchen cooking up some snacks that went beyond popcorn and as long as he was in there only Jason was allowed to even enter the lower levels.

Tim was pretty sure that they were going to watch some kind of Disney movie – partly because Dick loved them so much and partly because Bruce still believed that Damian was the most innocent child to ever exist, and he didn’t want to ruin that. What a hypocrite.

Right now, that meant that almost everybody was still in their rooms and Stephanie had decided to join Tim and Connor in Tim’s.

Tim was already dressed in comfortable sleep clothes as he always did for movie nights, while Connor was still wearing his leather jacket and Tim was absently playing with one of the jacket spikes. Stephanie was sitting on the other side of the room at the laptop and had been browsing through the internet.

Now she put the laptop on her lap and turned around in the swivel chair.

“Look.”

Tim bowed forwards trying to see what she was looking at. It was a newspaper article from some kind of celebrity magazine.

Timothy Drake, CEO of Wayne-company, reportedly dating commoner Stephanie Brown.

“Huh?” Tim asked dumbfounded.

“Somebody at the company must have told on us.”

“Oh yeah, I didn’t even think about that being a possibility. Fuck we should have thought about that before we started this whole thing.” Tim mused out loud.

“What kind of wording is that?” asked Connor “`commoner` makes it sound like you are some kind of prince or king!”

“Who says I’m not?”

“Aww, you’re definitely my prince.” Connor said and kissed Tim.

“That’s disgusting” Stephanie commented drily, and Tim flipped her off.

“Are you not concerned about this?” she asked next.

“Not really. I mean, isn’t this kind of what we wanted to archive?”

“Yeah!” laughed Connor “I’m just glad our conversation in the restaurant didn’t manage to get into the papers!”

“God, that would have been terrible.”

“I bet people told the press and the press just didn’t believe them” joked Connor.

“Truuuueee” Tim and Steph answered in unison.

After a moment of silence, Steph spoke up again.

“So, we’re not going to do anything about this?”

“Not unless it becomes a real problem” Tim shrugged.

…

When the time came for the movie to start, the three of them decided to sit on the same couch, with Tim sitting in the middle. They had a dark-red comforter thrown over their laps and Tim was holding a tray of snacks on his lap.

Apart from popcorn and chips, which Dick demanded to be served for a movie night, Alfred had made some bacon wrapped dates, some typical finger-food, alcohol free cocktails.... all in all it was basically a buffet of snacks and drinks.

Tim wasn’t really paying attention to the movie. He was too distracted by Conners hand that was gently petting his thigh. Not yet in an inappropriate way, but just high enough to demand Tim’s full attention. Stephanie on his other side had sat sideways and had buried her unusually cold feet underneath his other leg. Apparently, his butt-warmth was better than the comforter and Tim was too comfortable right now to shoo her off.

Unfortunately, Stephanie had a thing for sugary drinks, and she was downing one after the other. It hadn’t been a problem until about 30 minutes into the movie when she started to get restless. Soon she was fidgeting, and it made Tim uncomfortable.

“What is wrong?” he whispered over the sounds of the movie.

“I need to pee”

“Then go pee!”

“But we’re about to get to the best part!”

“Jesus Christ...” muttered Tim, before finally speaking up loud enough to alert B who was holding the remote, “Stephanie has to take a piss.”

“Don’t say it like that!”

“Seriously, Steph?”

“We’re not even halfway through the movie, how can you already have to go?”

“Why didn’t you go beforehand?” a chorus of voices questioned annoyed. But Bruce had already stopped the movie and motioned her to go quickly.

Stephanie jumped up and disappeared through the door.

Tim sighed as he settled back into the couch. He felt as if his relationship with Stephanie had improved a lot over the past few weeks. They had finally managed to get back to their sibling-like bickering but at the same time she seemed to have been around everytime he went on a date with Conner, partly because of their little fake relationship, partly just due to coincidence.

Nonetheless, Tim missed his private time with Conner.

As Stephanie was gone and her fidgeting feet weren’t distracting him anymore, he realized that Conners hand had stopped moving under the blanket and was now nothing but a comforting and warm handprint on his thigh. Tim leaned his head on Conners shoulder.

He should probably apologize to Conner about the missed-out time. Maybe he could come up with a proper date idea just between the two of them. Something a bit more extravagant, like a trip to Hawaii or France... They wouldn’t even have to buy a plane ticket; Connor could just fly them. He smiled to himself. Maybe he could take off some time from the company and ask somebody to take over his cases for a week or so.

Tim turned his head to stare at Connor and smile at him. Con was still staring at the screen even though the movie wasn’t rolling at the moment. Sometimes Tim truly forgot how handsome he was. All sharp chin and wicked smile, but kind eyes and a cute nose. How did he manage to catch a man like this again?

Conner seemed to notice his staring because he too turned his head to look at Tim and his features softened when he saw his gaze.

Before Tim could even think about what they were doing, Connor leaned down and pressed a soft, tender kiss to his lips, while affectionately squeezing his thigh.

“TIMOTHY JACKSON DRAKE!” Bruce screamed so suddenly, that Connor flinched back with his eyes wide open, and Tim immediately jumped up with his fist raised, ready to defend himself from whatever threat was coming towards him. Hastily he looked around, covering any and every entrance, jerking his head into every direction, when he couldn’t find a threat.

“What? What happened? Who’s attacking?” he exclaimed in panic.

“How dare you?” Dick screamed at him with such hurt in his voice that he managed to pull Tim’s entire attention on him, despite his active fight or flight instinct. “How could you hurt Stephanie like that?”

After a moment of shocked silence, Conner burst into laughter next to him, but Tim still didn’t understand what was happening.

“Hurt her like what?” he questioned full of confusion.

“You’re cheating on her right in front of our eyes? Did you think we would not tell her about this?” Accused Jason, who had jumped up as well, but unlike Tim who was ready to defend himself, Jason looked moments away from jumping and attacking Tim.

“I’m not... what?”

Conner was no help as he only got lost in his laughter. He was leaning forward on the couch and holding unto the table in front of them as he was laughing hard enough to have tears escape from his eyes.

“What, you thought we wouldn’t find out about your relationship with Stephanie? It’s all over the newspaper!” Jason added angrily.

“Oh!” Tim exclaimed as finally he understood what was going on. “No, you misunderstand....”

“What is happening?” Stephanie interrupted as she walked back into the room and saw half of the Batfamily standing with fury in their eyes and Connor now practically laying on the floor.

Surprisingly it was Roy who decided to fill her in, and he bluntly stated that Tim was cheating on her. For a second Tim thought that the situation was going to be resolved, but then he saw Stephanies face change from confusion to hurt – a hurt he could clearly tell was fake and before he had the chance to stop her, she erupted, as Connor, who clearly realized what was about to happened howled in laughter.

“Babe!”

“Stephanie, no.”

“How could you?!”

“Seriously Steph, they are going to kill me-”

“After everything we’ve gone through together?!?!”

“For the love of god, Stephanie”

“After everything I’ve sacrificed?”

“Please lord, take me now.”

#fanfics #Tim Drake #stephanie brown #conner kent #red Robin #superboy #Pride #asexual #aromantic #Gay #queer #bisexuell #ao3 #ao3 is down #Batman #dc fandome #dc fanfics #dc fanfic #writers of tumblr

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